#god i fucking hate my own muse i hate him so much

[kxllerblond]

themes of duality are a curse because ill never get to have any sort of will/hannibal dynamic here because i already have it and it's just clark/himself.

[naggingatlas]

'thats not his role in the story!' hm i wonder what the point of it is then. hm i wonder what the dead pixel scene means. hm i wonder what wrong organ are trying to say with the context of 'awesome male friendship' and 'corporate hell where the only woman onboard is constantly under ridicule, abused or forcibly forgotten yet is the catalyst' if not this. hm i wonder how curly's physical agony being a direct parallel to anya's mental agony, stripped of voice, agency, just like her, and being forced to watch what happens while not doing jack shit, just like he used to, plays a part in this. i wonder what the moral of him being the final girl says about living with the consequences of your inaction, because of sentimentality, because of status, career and social. hm i wonder whatever the fuck this game was trying to say. hm i wonder what else is on this person's blog Oh Lord there's yaoi penice.

[osachiyo]

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 by anonymous user ꒱. . . hello ! I really like your works, could I please request an insecure!reader with chuuya? and him fucking some sense into her? don't feel pressured to do this btw and feel free to ignore :D

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 note ꒱. . . here u go, nonnie ! I really liked this idea and sorry for taking so long on this request 😭 anyway, hope you enjoy ~~

˗ˏˋ꒰ 🍒 c/w ꒱. . . (18+) n/sfw content, mentions of insecurities, body worshipper chuuya, praise, lowercase intended, hints of dumbfication, overstimulation, fingering, mirror sex, cunnilingus, chuuya eats it from the back !! 🗣️🗣️& more + not proofread

summary. . . you've been feeling insecure about your body and started to wonder if you were really good enough for someone like chuuya? but no worries, your lover doesn't mind reminding you how much he loves your body and more importantly, you.

you sighed, staring at your reflection in the fancy full-body mirror in front of you; god, you looked horrendous. you didn't know how chuuya, one of, if not the most beautiful man you've ever met, love someone like.. you.

what you also didn't know, though, was that your beloved chuuya had been standing in the doorway the entire time, slender figure leaning against the doorframe as a dull pain throbbed in his heart while he watched, heard you pick apart your body like it was the ugliest thing you had ever seen. he watched as you ran your fingers up and down the parts you hated the most, a frown tugging at your lips as you muttered something about "not being pretty enough". he didn't understand why you'd say such things about your body− all of those beautiful parts of yours that he cherished wholeheartedly.

you whipped your head around hearing the sound of the once slightly ajar bedroom door shut, your boyfriend entering the room. "hey doll, what're you up to?" chuuya's voice was heavy, laced with something you couldn't exactly put a finger on.

"hey, chuu," you smiled, though the action didn't meet your eyes. and chuuya could tell.

his eyes narrowed, gloved hands found their way around your waist, tugging you closer to him− your back flush against his chest. when did he walk all the way across the room?

"y'know, I heard everything right?" he muttered into your neck, strong arms tightening around your figure as you gulped nervously. "chuuya I−" "you're fuckin' beautiful. so don't say hurtful shit about yourself 'cause it for sure ain't true," he cut you off, now pressing soft kisses on the back of your neck to your shoulders, gloved hands reaching up your shirt to knead and gently caress your soft skin.

a whimper caught in your throat as chuuya's hands found your breasts− pushing your bra up to grope them under your shirt. "i love all parts of your body. fuck, you're so pretty. i'll fuckin' prove it to you if i have to."

"you see that, baby? see the way this pussy sucks my fingers in?" chuuya mused, now bare fingers plunging in and out of your sopping cunt as he had you spread in front of the giant mirror. "mm-! fuck, chuu−!" you were cut off by your own moans, beads of sweat forming on your forehead, making the little strands of your baby hair stick to your skin. "shh, baby. just focus on the way i finger fuck this pretty cunt, yeah?" your lover's voice was muffled by the soft kisses he was busy pressing all over your nape and shoulders, moving your hair out of the way to make it easier.

you could see everything in the mirror, from the way chuuya's slim fingers disappeared inside of your pussy to how much of a mess you've already become− glossy lips parted as loud moans and whines escape from your throat, the way your tits bounce and jiggle with each thrust of his digits. and hell, was it embarrassing. you jolted up when the tips of his appendages rubbed against that one spongey spot inside of your gooey walls− your jaw slacking as your eyes shut. only to receive a gentle but firm slap on your face from chuuya, "nuh-uh, baby. you're gonna watch how I please this beautiful body of yours," he growled lowly in your ear, fingers speeding up their pace as you twitch and whine in response. your vision was blurry− but you could still make out the way your face contorts to one of pure bliss in your reflection.

"yeaah− cum on these fingers, sweetheart," the ginger groaned as you soaked his fingers− your slick running down his wrist and staining the bed sheets underneath, soft curses and his name spewing out of your mouth as his fingers slowed down, aiding you to ride out your orgasm.

you gasped when he abruptly pulled them out of your still sensitive cunt− only to pop them in his mouth as he moaned from the taste of your juices melting on his tongue. "fuck, doll− I gotta taste you, need'a make you cum on my tongue−" he pushed you on your hands and knees before even finishing his sentence− a large hand pressing your back to a perfect arch, face down ass up.

"such a nice fuckin' ass," he groaned, fingers digging into the soft fat and spreading them as you whimper, pitifully clawing at the bed sheets. he playfully bit one of your globes, earning a whine in return which made him chuckle. chuuya's greedy hands ran down from your ass to your thighs, only to go back up to knead at your ass, "and these soft thighs− god, I could kiss 'em for hours."

and as if to prove himself, he started littering kisses all over your inner thighs, hands still kneading your ass before giving it a firm spank, making you jump. "hah, and of course−" he smirked before making his way to your pussy, "this pretty fuckin' pussy− prettiest one I've ever seen," he growled before diving in between your legs− hungry lips wrapping around your clit as you gasp out from the feeling.

"fu−ck! chuuya−!" you babbled, pussy still sensitive from your orgasm from earlier, his nose bumping against your slit as he runs his tongue in a zigzag motion across your clit. his fingers were spreading your ass apart for him, to get easy access to your sweet pussy that he wanted to devour so bad.

shamelessly nasty slurping noises came from between your parted thighs. your slick was already dripping down chuuya's chin as you tried your best to keep your gaze on the mirror, watching yourself getting eaten out from the back. fuck, your hair was a mess− your bare figure covered in bites and bruises that your boyfriend gave you, claiming it was his way of showing you were his. your makeup had been completely ruined; mascara running down your cheek in inky streaks, lipstick smudged− you looked utterly debauched, chuuya's favorite look on you.

a gurgled moan came out of your mouth when two fingers pushed inside of your sloppy pussy, the mafia executive's tongue now writing his name on your clit. a deep groan rumbled in his chest when you tried to run away from the feeling of his tongue and fingers on you− pulling you back before harshly cracking a palm down on your left globe, before curling his fingers further into you. tears were falling freely from your eyes at this point, mouth dropped to an 'o' as you chanted his name like a prayer− "chuu− please, fuck! s'too much−!" you cried out, if it weren't for chuuya's death grip on you, you'd already have fallen face first into the matress.

"you can− fuuck− take it, sweet girl," chuuya moaned into your pussy, the vibrations of the sound making your toes curl and apparently that was the last straw for you− "fuckfuck! 'm cummin'− cummingg−!!" your eyes rolled back into your skull as you squirted all over chuuya's face, his own hips rutting into the mattress as his eyes widen− he wasn't expecting you to do that.

chuuya gave your messy cunt a few more licks before kissing your clit, then pulling away. you looked back to see his face completely drenched− him licking his lips as he gave you a lopsided grin. "holy shit, baby. that was..." he muttered, still dazed as he ran his clean hand through his sweaty orange locks. you were still panting, chest heaving as you tried came down from the euphoric high before looking away in embarrassment, fingers fiddling with the sheets− then suddenly, you got slammed back against the bed. face down, ass up, again.

you heard a metal clink− likely his belt. the sound of expensive leather hitting the floor snapped you back into reality, he must've tossed the belt somewhere. it wasn't long before your thoughts got quickly cut off, chuuya's heavy tip slapping against your clit a few times as you whined, begging him to give you a rest but no− he wasn't gonna stop until he was sure he fucked all those negative thoughts out of your mind− wasn't gonna stop 'till all thoughts but his left that pretty little head of yours. you just had to sit still and take it, like the good girl you were.

©sachiyoh— do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, reblogs are very appreciated ♡

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[vixstarria]

Seeing stars

Welp, I wrote more porn.

Astarion x F!Tav/F!Reader

18+, smut, porn with plot, porn with feelings, jealous Astarion, soft dom Astarion, dirty talk, fingering, PIV, elf ears and more! Humour, banter and fluff mixed in per usual. Tav failing several insight checks in the process.

I also poke fun at the in-game romance mechanics, and Wyll's Act 2 scene in particular.

This is the last time they have sex before the "I want us to be something real" conversation.

Approx. 2,900 words

AO3

“You won’t believe the ludicrous encounter I just had with Wyll.” 

You burst into Astarion’s tent. Well, it was ‘Astarion’s’ tent only notionally at this point. Yours still stood, but it now served solely as storage space for your assorted junk. You had effectively moved in with Astarion, having first coerced him into replacing the wooden plank and bloodstained rags he slept on with some sensible rugs and blankets. 

Astarion lounged half-naked on one of the bedrolls, reading something by candlelight. 

“Oh?” he looked up at you. “Do tell.” 

“First the massage you promised earlier,” you said sinking down onto the floor of the tent and stripping off most of your clothes. “My back is killing me after carrying everyone all day.” 

“Oh please...” he rolled his eyes. “I recall you nearly walked into your own cloud of daggers, again, and would have if I hadn’t pulled you away in time. And then you blasted Lae’zel off a cliff. It’s a wonder we haven’t kicked you out yet.” He shook his head. “And if you’re carrying anyone, I’m the one carrying you.” 

Still, he sat up as you laid down on your stomach.  

“Who do you think you’re fooling with this modesty, darling?” he murmured, noticing that you’d kept your underwear on. “Just lose it now,” he added, as he slid it off, leaving you completely naked, before he settled over you, his fingers commencing work on your shoulders. “So what happened with Wyll?” 

“I was making my way back here, and found him... performing some kind of jig by the campfire, pretending like he didn’t know I was there.” 

“The ‘Blade of Frontiers’, dancing alone in the middle of camp?” Astarion snickered. “Did you mock him? Please tell me you mocked him.”  

“Well... I was going to, but then he asked me to dance with him, very earnestly.” 

“That scoundrel...” he mused. “And let me guess - you agreed, didn’t you?” 

“Oh trust me, at that point it would have been more awkward not to dance with him, I had to play along.” 

Astarion scoffed, with a chuckle. 

“Do you always go along with whatever people want from you just because it would be too awkward to say no?” 

"I try not to – last time I did, I ended up with a vampire who won’t stop sucking me dry,” you deflected. “I figured there was no harm in indulging him. Besides, I don’t see you dancing with me. It was kind of nice,” you teased. 

“I hate dancing,” he said. 

“Right,” you said. “I’m sure you hate dancing just as much as you hate poetry, flowers, art, cats... What else?” 

“Children,” he answered. “I also can’t stand children.” 

“No, that one I could see being true,” you grinned. 

“So anyway, you two dolts pranced around the fire to the sound of crickets, then what?” 

“And then he tried to kiss me,” you admitted, with a sigh. 

Astarion’s hands paused for a moment before resuming their work, slightly harder than before. 

“Well look at you, receiving the Duke Ravengard’s heir’s attention. Moving up in the world, hmm?” 

“I didn’t let him.” 

He laughed. 

“Is there even a single person left in camp that hasn’t tried to get into your pants, darling?” 

You had to think for a moment.  

“Are we counting Volo?” 

“Sure.” 

“Then just Karlach and Withers.” 

“Gods, I fucking love Karlach,” he murmured. “Don’t tell her I said that.” 

“Why? Getting jealous all of a sudden?” 

Astarion was silent for a few moments. 

“I just don’t understand it,” he said. “You’re with me every night. I’m at your side every day. They see us. They hear us. Still, they don’t take me – or you and me – seriously. Tell me, is there something about me that screams: ‘Please, go ahead and take my lover for yourself. Come on in and snatch her right out from under me, I don’t mind’?”  

Perhaps you’d made a bad judgment call when you thought Astarion would find the absurdity of the situation humorous rather than offensive. Still, you had to bite your cheek to keep from laughing at the dramatics he added to the delivery of the last few lines that left his mouth. 

“Stop laughing,” he said.  

“I’m not laughing,” you laughed.  

“I can feel your back muscles twitching in your efforts.” 

“Well, they’re aware this all started as a joke. Perhaps they never realised that it’s long stopped being one?” you offered. 

Astarion’s hands had been moving lower and lower along your back. They had now reached your ass and continued to rub, stroke and squeeze, as you let out a soft groan. 

“That’s not my back, Astarion.” 

One of his hands kept squeezing an ass cheek, while the other dipped to stroke you between your legs. He gave a satisfied hum when two of his fingers entered you effortlessly. 

“Maybe if they could see how wet I can make you just by rubbing your back they’d reconsider how much of a joke this is,” he said, his voice low. He continued to pump his fingers in and out – you were almost embarrassed by the loud squelching sounds that came out of you. You moaned and tried to lift your hips higher, but your legs were encased between his thighs, pinned down on the bedroll. “Do you think you’d be reacting this way to young Ravengard, darling?” 

“Stop it,” you hissed. “You know I don’t want anyone but you.” 

“Stop?” he pulled his fingers out, to your dissatisfied whine. You looked back to see him studying your slick on his fingers. “I should go smear this on his face right now... The audacity to try to get his hands on what is not his.” He licked his fingers clean instead. He turned his attention back to you.  

“Maybe if you were more vocal about your devotion to me the others wouldn’t make these mistakes.” 

His hand returned between your legs, spreading your wetness and slipping lower to tease your clit.  

“I could be... encouraged... to be more vocal about it,” you breathed, trying to grind against his hand.  

“Yes... I should make you scream my name, so they all know who you belong to.” 

His fingers returned inside you, teasing you with shallow strokes.  

“You can try,” you taunted him. 

Astarion let out an indignant huff and shifted to spread your legs open with his knees, simultaneously placing a hand on your back to firmly hold you down. You expect to feel his cock enter you, but he continued to stroke you with his fingers, turning his hand to curl them downwards.  

“Is that a challenge, darling?” he asked, his voice dangerously low. “You should know better by now than to bet against me,” he said, continuing to flex his fingers inside you. 

It started off pleasant enough, but rapidly grew into... more. And more. You weren’t sure what he was doing but whatever it was, it was just about making you see stars. 

You sputtered as the new sensation started to take hold of your whole being.  

“Ast… what..”  

You couldn't manage anything coherent, as his fingers continued to dig into you, gradually picking up speed and pressure. You started to squirm to try to get away despite yourself, but he simply put more weight against the hand on your back, securely pinning you to the bedroll. 

“Always getting yourself into situations you're not prepared for…" he murmured. "You're not talking your way out of this one.”

His fingers were relentless. You were worried you really would scream and wake everyone in camp. All you could do was bite down on the pillow, hoping that it would muffle your drawn-out moans. 

“Let go, darling... I know you want to.” 

It's not so much that you let go – rather, all your decorum was ripped from you, as your muscles convulsed, the orgasm rolling through your entire body. You panted and shuddered, trying to keep quiet, your hands clutching desperately at the covers beneath you, trying to hold on to anything like your life depended on it. 

Once the feeling subsided, you came back to your senses to find Astarion hovering over you, kissing the back of your neck and shoulders, grazing them with his fangs, almost but not quite hard enough to draw blood. You felt his erection rubbing against your hip. 

“Has anyone fucked you like this before?” he whispered hoarsely into your ear, his breath ragged from his own arousal. “Tell me.” 

“No,” you gasped, trying to catch your own breath.  

“I thought so,” he whispered with a smile, kissing your neck before he sat back up. 

You turned back to look at him over your shoulder. He watched you with a self-satisfied grin, his fingers returning to stroke you lightly between your legs once more. 

“Do you want me to do it again?” he purred. 

A part of you wanted to wipe that smug grin off his face after what he just put you through. Another, much larger part, wanted nothing more than to submit yourself to whatever he would do to you.  

“Yes,” you admitted sheepishly. 

“Turn around...” he narrowed his eyes mischievously. “I want to see your face this time.” 

You flipped around onto your back, under his watchful gaze. His eyes never left yours as he stroked your slit, teasing your engorged clit with his thumb, before his fingers slipped back inside you. 

You found yourself mewling in anticipation before he really even started doing anything.  

“So eager,” he smirked. “So wanton...” 

He curled his fingers again, moving his whole hand to mercilessly claw into a sweet spot you didn’t even know existed inside you.  

You tried to relax into and accept this sensation, now that you were familiar with it. A growing pressure kept building at the bottom of your stomach. It was too much. It was entirely too much. You couldn’t take more of it. You couldn’t- 

“Let go, I’ve got you...” His whisper sounded so tender in sharp contrast to the depraved way he was handling your body. 

You sobbed as what you hoped was cum gushed out of you, your legs quivering.  

“Good girl”, Astarion laughed with glee, bending down to place a kiss on your lips, continuing to stroke you lightly, “Your body reacts so perfectly to me... Do you want more?” 

“You... I want you...” you groaned, biting his lip. 

“If that’s what my good girl wants,” he purred, discarding what was left of his clothes.  

You groaned as his cock entered you, rocking your hips against his, trying to find that feeling again. 

“So wet and needy for me...” he goaded you. “I’ve completely ruined you for anyone else, haven’t I?” 

He held absolutely nothing back as he fucked you, lewd insistent sounds of skin slapping on skin combined with your shared grunts and moans disturbing what was likely otherwise a silent night. 

“Anyone awake knows exactly what I’m doing to you right now,” he rasped, voice thick.  

Your walls clenched at the thought, making him shudder and sigh as well. 

“You like that thought, don’t you..? I know you do,” he continued. “So shameless...” 

Despite yourself, you whimpered, clenching again as another orgasm started threatening to overtake you. 

“That’s it... Come for me again,” he groaned. “Come for me, my love.” 

‘My love’..? Just a figure of speech, you thought. You’d thrown that phrase around, jokingly, but it’s never sounded so... raw. You wanted to hear it again. You wanted to keep hearing it.  

“Your what?” you gasped.  

He didn’t answer. Instead he caught your lips in a deep, devouring kiss, pinning your arms over your head.  

Your body gave in and you trembled under him, caught up in waves of pleasure again.  

He released your arms and eased his movements once you rode out your high, but kept kissing you, hungrily, unwilling to release your lips from his.  

Clearly, no further words of love would follow, you thought to yourself with a tinge of both relief and disappointment, deciding to let it go. 

“You’re so good to me,” you managed, breaking your lips from his. 

“Aren’t I just?” he groaned, speeding up again to chase his own release.  

You kissed your way up his jaw to his ear, pausing to nibble on his earlobe.  

You couldn’t see it, but a ditsy, open-mouthed smile started to play on his face. 

Astarion gasped with a sharp intake of breath as you continued further, running your tongue over the inside of the shell of his ear. 

“Oh sweet hells,” he sighed with pleasure, immediately grinding into your harder. 

You smiled as he tilted his head, just about pressing his ear against your lips. 

“Do you like that?” you whispered in his ear, running your tongue over it again, lifting your hands to run your fingers through his hair. You knew he did. You just wanted to hear him say it.  

“Yes... Don’t stop...” His words sounded like a desperate plea. 

You continued to gently nibble on the edge of his ear, soft moans escaping you from his movements. 

“That’s it, take what’s yours” you groaned, as his hips crashed into yours harder. 

His breathing and movements were becoming more and more frantic.  

“Astarion...” you whispered, grazing the shell of his ear with your lips. 

He let out an uncharacteristic whimper, all his usual composure slipping from him, as he bucked his hips, fucking you with quick, shallow thrusts.  

“My sweet...” you breathed against his ear. 

He came completely undone, spilling into you with forceful, jagged thrusts, before finally stilling. His whole body seemed to melt into yours as he stayed on top of you, trying to regain his breath. 

You wrapped your legs around his hips, not wanting to let go of him yet, but he didn’t seem to be in a hurry to lift himself from you either. Instead he trailed light, tender kisses from your neck up to your lips.  

You delicately traced the contours of Astarion’s face with your fingertips, running them from his cheekbone down to his jaw, as he leaned into your caress, gazing into your eyes.  

Astarion parted his lips slightly, as though to say something, only to seal them again. He tilted his head to kiss your knuckles as your fingers gradually made their way back up, to run through his hair. Eventually he spoke. 

“You would really choose me over the more... blatantly obvious options you have at your disposal here?” he asked quietly.  

“Haven’t I made that abundantly clear already..?” 

“Well of course you have – no one else is this good,” he said with a tired smirk. 

“I’m not talking about the...” you blinked. “You know I’m not with you just for the sex, right..?” you frowned, looking into his eyes. 

He looked away, slipping out of you and moving to lie down next to you.  

“Is that so?” he said softly.  

You found yourself suddenly feeling rattled. Was he simply fishing for compliments again, or had you been utterly oblivious to just how deep his insecurities ran this whole time..? 

“You have a wealth of other qualities that I... enjoy and appreciate,” you said, somewhat lamely.  

Astarion propped his head up on his hand and raised an eyebrow at you quizzically. There was a hint of vulnerability in his eyes despite his outward nonchalance.  

Oh for fuck’s sake, you thought. I’m not ready for any serious conversations now, especially not with cum running down my thighs.  

You turned away to grab something to wipe yourself down with. 

“A gentleman would clean up his own mess, by the way. Not one of your strong points. But you do have some virtues that make up for it. For instance... I can leave cheese unattended around you, knowing you won’t eat it.” 

Astarion went to pinch the bridge of his nose, sighing.  

“You’re a treasure trove of useless information,” you continued. “But unlike some of our companions you usually keep it to yourself.” A hint of a smile played on his lips at that.  

“Your hand feels nice and cold on my forehead when I have a headache.” You laid back down next to him, mirroring the way he was lying. 

“You always smell nice, especially for a dead guy. You never hog the mirror.”   

“What about my hair, won’t you mention that?” he smiled. 

“No, fuck your hair, it makes mine look awful in comparison.”  

He chuckled at that. 

“I do rather adore the garnet puppy eyes though,” you murmured. “What else... You make me laugh, and, more importantly, I make you laugh – which is great for my ego,” you continued.  

“As long as you understand that I’m usually laughing at you,” he countered. 

“Prick... Then there’s the fact you’ve saved my life four times.”  

“Seven,” he said quietly, looking into your eyes.  

“Five.”  

“It’s seven, dear, I counted.” 

“Whatever. When it comes to battle, you’re silent but deadly,” you said. “Like a-” 

Astarion’s hand covered your mouth.  

“Do not finish that thought, darling.” 

You grinned from behind his palm.  

“I think we can be done with this conversation,” he said.  

“Wait, wait, one more...” you laughed. “You’re eccentric, unpredictable, often irrational. I never know what’s going to come out of your mouth.”  

You smiled as Astarion groaned dramatically, covering his face with one hand.  

“Knowing I’ll get to spend another day in your mad company gives me a reason to get up in the morning,” you added, softly. 

“Come here, you sweet fool,” he whispered, drawing you against him.  

You hugged him tightly. It took so long for him to start initiating these embraces that wouldn’t lead to sex... You relished each one.  

Tomorrow, Astarion thought to himself, unbeknown to you. I have to tell her tomorrow.  

~~~~~

Follow up bonus scene

This work is part of a series - here is the master list

Next in series - Confession

AO3

Tags: @littleenglishfangirl @something-pithy @darlingxdragon @tallymonster @tragedybunny @spunky-89

@spacebarbarianweird @kittenintheden - hey, I heard you like elf ears

[miniimight]

DISAPPEARING ACT (II) .

part one

with married!rindou + fem!reader

warnings you've been asking for it so here it is almost a year later 💀 beware of subpar sequel syndrome and toxic relationships and alcohol and i dont know what im doing

bottles and bottles and bottles.

rindou's best friend was alcohol. any shape, any size, any kind. he wanted to drown himself in the buzz.

“god, rindou.” ran leaned over his knees, his elbows propping his torso up as he peered down at his baby brother. “would you get off the floor?”

rindou ignored him, laying on his back in the middle of his brother’s expansive top-floor apartment. "no."

ran rolled his eyes and walked away.

rindou sighed. he'd been at ran's place for the past few months. his house just felt... wrong. the light filtering in illuminated the dust suspended in the air, as if the house was abandoned. he didn't know where anything was. all he could think to do was sleep, shower, eat. takeout boxes littered the floor and he didn't have the energy to clean up after himself.

he sat up. "can't you talk to her for me?"

ran raised an eyebrow. "you aren't fifteen. you can talk to your own wife."

"i don't think she wants to be my wife anymore." rindou mumbled. "ran, she hates me."

ran frowned at his brother's distress. he hated seeing him this way. "she doesn't hate you, rin."

rindou whipped to face his brother with an exasperated expression. "she made it more than clear when she walked out on me when i was trying to make it up to her."

ran pursed his lips, giving rindou an unimpressed look.

rindou's expression darkened. "what?"

"you walked back into her life one day and randomly decided to care again." ran mused. "i'm just saying, your word means nothing to her."

rindou remained silent.

"rindou?" ran pressed.

"yeah, yeah, shut up. i get it." rindou scoffed. but he got off the floor. "i just..." he shoved his hands in his pockets, looking awkwardly out of place. "i don't know what do to. she doesn't respond to calls or texts. i think she blocked me."

"you know where she is?"

rindou rolled his eyes. "of course i know where she is."

"you love her?" ran stood.

rindou hummed. "more than anything."

"then show her. simple as that. but don't be stupid and think she's gonna come running into your arms again." ran slid his hands into his pockets. "that ship has sailed."

rindou glared at the ground. "everything i did—that i do—is for her. for the three of us. i wouldn't want—"

"i know, rin." ran threw an arm around his brother's shoulder. "i know. you do good. you just have to make sure she knows. you'll grow closer together again in no time."

"yeah, i'll do anything." rindou mumbled under his breath.

ran patted his back before walking off. rindou sighed, picking up another bottle.

.

a few months later and rindou seemed to be stuck in the same spot. he never leaves ran's house, only to release some steam in the form of violently and brutally killing people. every time he collapses into his brother's arms afterwards.

ran grunted as he threw his little brother into the backseat of his car. he yanked the latter's suit jacket off and inspected his skin. it was littered with purple bruises. "you're too reckless, rin. more than usual." ran frowned. rin never bruised this easily.

"i won the fight, didn't i?" rindou protested sleepily, shaking ran's hands off him and rifling through the cooler. his hands brushed over the cool bottles of booze, as if in a trance.

ran shut the car door, rapping his knuckles on the partition. "hospital."

rindou sat up just a little, popping the top of one of the bottles. "what are—"

ran snatched the bottle from rindou, dumping it out the car window, before locking the cooler. "this has got to stop. you drink too much, rindou. you're not doing yourself any favors here."

rindou scowled, drowsy. "what does it matter?"

ran groaned. "stop with that. get the fuck up and go see her."

rindou got quiet and slumped into his seat. he couldn't find the courage to see you again. he was scared that you were right about you two, that it was impossible to return to the way things were.

.

you sigh. "i know you're there."

it was a relatively quiet morning. you sat outside your regular coffee shop, enjoying a warm drink before wasting away yet another day to regret and despair.

you turned around in your seat ever so slightly to catch a glimpse of him.

ran haitani.

"i know you know." he smiled softly, sipping on an espresso.

you rolled your eyes, turning back in your seat. ran always said the stupidest things.

due to the abrupt nature of which you left, you had to find an emergency place. thankfully, a friend took you in with a big warm welcome and a long tight hug. you cried in their arms, releasing all the emotions you were so adamant on hiding from rindou. you apologized for dumping your burden on them. they didn't care.

you remembered the first time your brother-in-law showed up on your friend's doorstep. it was a few months since you left. he was dressed as a deliveryman, easily charming your friend into letting him stay over for a drink. you came home from errands, only to find a strange man in the kitchen.

once you saw those rings, though, you knew. a deliveryman couldn't afford all that gold.

he's been tracking you ever since you left. in the back of your mind, you knew that rindou would never be unaware of your location, but it was just juvenile to send his older brother in his place to 'keep tabs on you.'

now, year after your exit, ran was still popping up every now and again. a year since rindou declared he'd get you back, another year of empty promises.

the time made you realize that, yet again, you were still waiting for him.

"are you going to say something?" you asked.

"no."

"you never say anything—"

"just did."

"—so why are you here?"

you hear the chair scraping against the concrete as he gets up from his table, and the clopping of his shoes as he strolls closer to yours. you drops himself into the chair across from you, leaning back. "just looking out for my little sister, s'all."

you stared at him, something close to nostalgia and longing stirring in your chest. your eyes dropped down to your lap. "not your sister."

he downed the rest of his espresso and set it back on the table with a little clink.

a heavy silence weighed on the both of you as you avoided the elephant in the room like the plague.

he breathed deeply. "y/n—"

you held up a hand. "ran, it's been a year. let's all just move on."

"you're miserable. he's miserable. why not be miserable together?"

you raised your eyebrow.

ran droops a little. "he loves you."

you narrow your eyes, bitterness spilling from your lips. "oh! that's why you're here instead of him." you shook you head. "really, let it go."

"look," he groaned, running his hands through his hair stressfully. "i don't wanna be hovering over your shoulder anymore than you want me to. and yes, in an ideal world, rindou would be here in my place. i know for sure he wants to, fuck, he won't shut up about it." he laughed tensely, a light titter that was far from amusement.

he put both elbows on the table, dropping his face into his hands. "holy shit, y/n. he's doing so bad."

you chewed on your lip, jumping your first instinct to ask more.

"i know you think he was choosing to not be with you, but that's just your perspective, y/n. so far from the truth." he gripped his hair tightly. suddenly you noticed the bags under his eyes, the puffiness. the creased eyebrows and the deep frown.

you drew back as you watched ran collapse just a little before your eyes. it unnerved you.

you shifted uncomfortably in your seat. "i'm gonna go—" you stood, grabbing your bag.

ran's hand shot out and grabbed your wrist. "wait, wait. you know i wouldn't beg you if it wasn't really important."

you stared at him, a looming dread settling in your stomach. "ran, what's..." you had to laugh nervously, his slender hand ice cold over your skin. "you're scaring me. whatever he's going through—he's fine. he'll be fine. it's... just a breakup." even you didn't believe the words coming from your mouth.

since you knew the brothers from middle school, you've never seen ran haitani ever beg someone for something, or even be in a position to depend on someone else that much.

he pursed his lips. "rindou's refusing surgery."

.

rindou paced through the hospital wing. where was the exit again?

he needed to grab his phone. he stopped in the hallway, catching a glimpse of the break room.

he stumbled inside, ripping open the fridge and rifling around for something. anything. behind all the containers of lunches, he found a bottle of beer. not his standard, but it was something. and he needed it to feel something other than nothing.

he cracked it open and chugged as much as he could without throwing himself off balance, but he collapsed onto the couch anyways.

he heard, distantly, his nurse yell after him, running to help him sit upright.

she glanced at his face. "we told you to stay in your room, and only water from now on." she paused. "you're crying. any pain?"

"yeah," he slurred.

.

you blinked. "huh?"

ran stood up beside you. "acute liver failure. from a steady year of drinking himself to death. doctor said he needed surgery to cut off the bad part that's making him sick. and his dumbass is refusing to do it."

you blanched. you're kidding.

"he's been drinking since..." ran inhaled deeply, eyes squinting as he racked his memory. "since he turned a teenager, really. only gotten worse in the past year." he looked at you.

your mind was stuck on the death part. he's not supposed to die. he's not supposed to leave your life forever.

"he'll die without it." he said quietly.

"oh my gosh." you squeezed your eyes shut, pressing your palms into your eyes. "you're not kidding?"

his gaze hardened. "i know you want nothing to do with him, but you're the last resort. since you're still married, you're his medical proxy. tell the doctors that he's unfit to make this decision and get him to do that fucking surgery."

"how long have you known that—"

"does it matter?" he cut you off.

yes. why didn't you tell me sooner?

"will you come or not? if you do, i'll get you your own place, with furnishings and everything." ran offered. "you can leave him behind forever, promise."

"no, no..." you stared at him briefly, a little hurt. you didn't need to be compensated for helping rindou. you didn't want to be.

you felt the dread settle. it rooted quickly and deeply as you came to terms with what was happening. you left him in a hurry, and your resolve was strong, but that pesky feeling of longing would just not let you go.

it kept reminding you that you've been through too much together to give up on each other now. that you really loved him.

was rindou a bad husband? yes.

did he deserve to die? no.

was he allowed to die? no.

.

the nurse dragged him back to bed, and after a quick call from ran, they suddenly had the idea of handcuffing him to the railings so he doesn't run off and shorten his lifespan again.

rindou's blown eyes focused on the ceiling. as much as he could. his vision was blurring. the alcohol wasn't working. the emptiness in his stomach was still there. but he kept reaching for it. the burn of it was supposed to keep him warm but each day he grew colder.

his doctor rushed to his side, quickly glancing over his stats before leaning over his bedside, imploring him. "you're dying, haitani. this surgery will save your life. success rates—"

"stop saying that shit..." he groaned. "i don't fucking care."

a gentle knock on the door caught his fuzzy attention.

"doctor?" you chirped softly, ran standing behind you.

holy shit, rindou thought. i'm dead. cuz he just thought he heard your voice.

"yes?" the doctor replied.

you held out your hand. "hi. mrs. haitani," you introduced yourself.

"o-oh..." the doctor shook your hand delicately.

rindou shot up in bed, as much as he could without the handcuffs restricting him. "y/n?"

"yeah," you dropped your bag onto his bedside table. you smoothed his hair away from his forehead, gently pushing him back against the bed.

he stared at you in his delirium, watching you like you were his savior, his angel.

"rindou," you told him. "you are doing this surgery."

he stared for a bit longer, committing every detail of your face to memory and drowning in the wells of your eyes. you gave him an expectant look, and he slowly nodded before the motion became feverish.

"yes. yes, whatever you want." he quickly agreed. "holy shit."

"that easy? seriously?" ran deadpanned, crossing his arms in exasperation.

"holy shit, ran." rindou whispered. "is she really here?" he stared at you as if you were some ghost. your heart tensed thinking of how he got to this point.

ran rolled his eyes.

you finalized things with the doctor and confirmed the surgery before you nodded to the brothers. "well... that's that."

rindou sat up in his bed, the handcuffs clattering against the metal framing. “stay. please, stay with me.”

“i’m gonna— yeah.” ran held up his hands and quickly left the room.

you couldn’t do much but stare at him. he looked even worse than the last time you saw him. his hair had grown out, stubble poked through, and the bags under his eyes were concerning.

“please, stay a moment?” he asked. you nodded and soundlessly sat on the bed. you frowned at his handcuffs.

“what happened?”

“i wandered around again so the nurses chained me to the bed.”

“ah.”

an awkward silence passed.

“i’m sorry.” rindou whispered.

you kept your eyes trained on the floor, hiding the surprise on your face at his quick apology.

“i made a promise to you when we were kids, but i never grew up. i always knew you’d be waiting for me. until you weren’t.” he mumbled. “and i panicked.”

he scooted closer to you and you heard the cuffs clang against the framing once again. “i’m sorry most of all for not running after you.”

you glared at the ground. “you said you would.”

“i did.” he whispered. “baby, i’m sorry. after this surgery, i promise i’ll change. i’m not asking you to teach me—that’s not on you. just… nudge me when i’m being an asshole. guide me to be better. talk to me, tell me what i do wrong, and i’ll fix it. i swear this will never happen again.”

you met his eyes and suddenly you were seventeen again, locking pinkies to seal your vows to each other. “if you let me down a second time—”

“no.” rindou denied vehemently. “no, there won’t be. it’s me and you, forever.”

you gave him a look. you stood and fished a bobby pin out of your bag, holding the cuffs up and fiddling the pin around in the keyhole. within seconds, his wrists were released.

“you’re pretty good at that.” rindou said.

“i mean, i do have a crime boss for a husband,” you shrugged.

he grinned and a boyish chuckle bubbled up. “yeah you do.” free from his shackles, he grabbed you and pulled you down onto him.

.

© miniimight ! thanks for reading <3

[nemesyaaa]

a house in nebraska ! rafe cameron x fem!reader

summary ; you were the reason he won't come home but you still call home. this story is based on the song of ethel cain.

warnings : it's angst. fully angst. it's about toxic relationship. so violence, arguing and fighting, sick behavior, daddy and mommy issues, the urge of love and being loved, mentions of drugs, the feeling of being misunderstood and unsteady. home is used as a metaphor of relationship. it's about inner rage too. slight of smut but very little. both rafe and reader being fucked up. southern goth/small town coded.

author's note : it's my first time writing angst so be easy one me please ! as i said, it's based on " a house in nebraska" by ethel cain (because she's my favorite artist and my muse.) and a lot of her songs make me think of rafe, but i also take inspo of her others songs like crush, strangers, and hard times. also a hint of bet on losing dogs by mitski.

i dont know how many words are in this works, but i think around 3k ? it's a one-shot ! BETTER TO READ IT WHILE LISTENING TO A SAD SONG. (a house in nebraska (live version)or anything else)

you lived in the nebraska with rafe, he was your man and you were his girl. it was a small town that allowed you to be just him and you against the world, to be safe from the rest. but the ugly truth was that your house had become a raging mess. the mattresses had become dirty, the silence too comfortable, the night too long, the emptiness too deep, the love too absent and the violence too present. everyone was angry here, even demons and the silence.

rafe was a storm, and every time you tried to calm it, you became further worse. no, you weren't becoming like him, you were becoming him, the mirror of his emotions, full of rage and inexpressible feelings. like a bomb, you needed it to come out, to scream and explode. like a bomb, you needed to hurt, and destroy everything in your way.

you had built this house together, when he still worked with his hands, oh god, how much you loved those big and strong hands, the dirt and bruises on his skin. the softness of his palms when he touched you, the pulsating veins engraved. they were made to love you, to caging you. they were always rushed with blood and wounds because of his work, but despite how dirty they were when he came home, they were always pure and clean on your body. but you also were so in love with his messy sweaty hair, caressing by the wind. he was tall and handsome, the kind of man who worked all day, and drunk at night, some whiskey or bourbon. but never missed to please the needs of his girl.

when he smoked his red marlboros on the porch, you were sitting on his lap like a sleepy girl to take a nap on his heavy arms that managed to hug your body. when he took a sip of his cold beer, while you had nothing to do but being his own pretty girl. when he allowed you to bathe him, cleaning the mess and the sweat. when you used to learn him how to play some classic music on the old piano, and he was just turned on by the way you used so damn well your fingers, and making you sit on the board, and fuck you right there, even if the windows were wide open.

at this time, you would have die for him.

when he still listened to what you said, when he still answered your calls and did not make you sick by his silence, when you laughed every time he came home . but now you were starting to hate the fact that he was coming.

how did the man who was supposed to make you so happy manage to break you so easily? but you weren't an angel either, oh far from it, you had neither wings nor halo on your head, you didn't even have god in your heart. you made him, like all men, your enemy.

it was four in the morning, it was still dark, you were waiting in the living room.

the tv wasn't on. rafe had broken it during an argument. that wasn’t the only thing he shattered, you had to be the hardest thing he does. not even with his fists, with just the force of his words, the way they were murderous, the way they had the force to tear your heart open and crushed it into pieces.

most people would say that this man was not the type to cry, that a man doesn't cry, but rafe cried. and you had seen him a couple of times, and the first time you saw him burst into tears, you knew straight away that it was the real him. that behind all this hatred, this anger, there was a hurted little boy. and who grew up with an open wound, a wound impossible to heal, even with all the love in the world.

rafe was the kind of man who screamed, who cried, who bled, a fallen angel who had lost god along the way, who had been ignored, but mostly, never heard.

when he opened the door to the house, you hated the strong smell of alcohol, but also of blood. you never asked him for anything, the only thing you wanted was for him to come home on time for dinner, to go to bed with you. but no one, absolutely, no one tamed a dog like him. and you rathered not bet on losing dogs.

“where were you ?? ” you had already started shouting due to lack of patience, getting up from the chair to confront him.

you had seen him sigh, making that bored face, like you had no reason to be upset, that face that made all women become even worse.

“if you had the same energy to scream when we fuck, we would have a fantastic sex life.”

“seriously, rafe? you want to play the asshole, right now ? ”

“ it will suit your bitch behavior, so why not ?”

you slapped him very hard in the face. what obviously rafe didn't find this very amusing, he crushed you in the wall, pinned your hands above your head.

“ don't you dare slapping me again. you want to be mean, sweetheart ? i can be meaner. let's see....oh this is the necklace that your mom offered to you before leaving ? how sweet. maybe, i can sell it for a good price. ”

“ rafe. don't. ”

he shushed you, by putting his other hand on your mouth. “ you're not allowed to talk right now. you had your turn for, now, it's my fucking turn. and i will do whatever the fuck i want ! it's my house, my rules. ”

he unhooked the necklace, as you tried to break away from his grip but he closed his fingers tighter against your wrists.

“I'm going to kill you, no matter what you do, i'm going to kill you. ”

“murder me” he said with a louder voice. “i’m asking you to murder me! it’s probably the only good thing you’ll have done well in your life. you know even if i die tonight, i will die yours. even if you kill me, i will always be here.”

he released you, and you exploded. “you have exceeded the limits, rafe! ”

” since when are there boundaries between us, sugar? we're freaks, remember? ”

you threw away the first object you found, it was an empty coffee cup. you threw it at his face. but he had dodged it with a sick smile. your jaw clenched, eyes blazing with fury, you were out of control. you were what he wanted you to be every time he came home late

” oh you can do better than that baby. i'm sure i taught you how to shoot better than this when i showed you how to kill? do you remember? ”

“ this, this fucking attitude, rafe is why everybody leaves you ! ”

“ yes. and do i fucking care, y/n ? do i fucking care ? i grew up in a family where nobody loved me, nobody reached after me, nobody looked after me, nobody dared to pay attention to me and you tell me i have to care about everyone leaving me ? no, it's not fucking fair ! so do you understand ? i don't care. if you want to leave, you know better than me that the door is open because you're the only one to be stucking in front, waiting like a fucking dog that i come come. ”

“ fine. i leave ! ”

you took the keys of the car, even if rafe hated that you drove, especially at midnight. but you were too upset, too mad.

your man wasn't done with you. he stood in front of the car you were driving.

“if you think i'm afraid of killing you, when you were the one who taught me how to do that, you're wrong. ”

" yes ? then show me how well i did my job. kill me. ”

“ rafe, i’m not kidding. ”

“ perfect, we are both serious then. ”

you moved the car forward, pressing the pedal with your feet. you hitted him with the car. it was strong but not violent either.

you got out of the car quickly to check on him. but he was smiling, a little blood on his face.

“are you sick!? ”

“ i raised you well, i fear. now, lick this face. i can see in your eyes how pretty you find me covered with blood, so please yourself, lick it all. ”

“ wait, i will find some tis….”

“ no, with your tongue. clean my whole face with your tongue. don't waste anything. i want to be able to kiss you right after, and recognize the taste of my blood all over your mouth. you want to be sick ? make me feel sick too. ”

maybe you were too young to realize that some loves could be bad. but this relationship was toxic. you had both destroyed each other, and it was complicated when you saw this world, this universe only through your union. you felt like you had lost a lot, like you had lost everything, like you had failed. maybe, you were the failure, and rafe, the problem. but also, maybe, he was the failure and you, the problem.

and you hated not knowing what was going on in rafe's head, you hated that no one on this earth could figure it out, and that even rafe himself didn't know it. he was crazy, he was sick but that wasn't all, it couldn't be just that.

you gave up the fight, going to the bathroom to take a bath. you needed some peace because the house didn't feel like a home anymore.

sometimes wheezie would call you to see if you were okay, she had grown up, and you lied to her all the time. because it hurt so much to be two in a relationship, but not feel like you were a part of it anymore. and the worst part of it all was that you could kill yourself for just one minute of affection, just one second of happiness, just one moment in the past when everything was okay. where rafe was still the sweet little boy you knew. but the stories were not meant to have a happy ending.

it was hard this feeling, this lack when he still lived with you in this terrible house. but one day you'll be the reason he won't come home again. but you would always call home. you promised yourself. because it would always be yours.

rafe had joined you in the bathtub. and you could tell by his red and empty eyes, his blank stare that he had been crying. he cried and he was not the drugs, he was you, only you.

and you didn't mention it. you didn't say anything. you preferred to stay smart and not start another fight.

“the walls could break down with so much screams. ” you said, laughing slightly.

“maybe we should sell the house. ”

“i like this house. i feel at home here. i have nowhere to go. ” you lied for the two first, but not for the last.

and it was true. you had built everything, paved everything here. you had remade a world. you couldn't leave, you couldn't leave anything. and above all, you were too tired to leave.

it would be a lie to say that you didn't had sex in the bathtub, that you didn't feel his tears on your shoulder, that you didn't feel his thrusts get harder each time a sob broke out his empty eyes, that you didn't feel how much he was breaking every time you took pleasure. because, it was hard for him to seeing you being happy. because it was so hard to take care of you. because it was so hard to feel loved and being loved. you were both too young, too stupid, too sick for love.

and rafe wanted to make you happy without sex, without all this selfish sex. no, he wanted to make you happy by some casual things. but sometimes, you pissed him off so bad to the point, he wanted to leave. but how can a man who hoped to be loved can leave the woman who promised to cherish him ? it was too tired, too angry, and too unsteady to leave. you broke him too. and it was sad for him, because you were the only one he was not scared to tell it hurts.

but at six in the morning you were fighting again as if it were a ritual, a need, a desire to destroy each other, as if sometimes love needed to be violent and destructive to work. actually, for freaks like you, surely.

“why did you throw my fucking drugs down the toilet?! ”

“because you don’t need that!” ”

“you don’t know what i need, you barely know what i want! you had no fucking right to do that. ”

“ don't be a crybaby ! ”

“ repeat. i dare you to repeat. ”

“crybaby! you're a fucking crybaby, rafe! your new personality changes nothing about the boy you were and will always be! what, you don't like the truth ? bad for you, i'm about to tell you what everyone doesn't want to tell you. because i'm not scared at all of you ! you're a fucking crybaby ! ”

“ but you're still here, you're still fucking here. because you know what ? i'm maybe a crybaby, but i'm a river worth wading. and this is why, you're standing in front of me with all this confidence. you wanted a broken man, you wanted someone to fix ? then come on baby, i'm here, i'm watching you, i'm listening, i'm literally at your feets, fix me ! fix the little boy you wanted, make him better. ”

“ rafe…”

“no, i'm asking you now who do you think you are? do you think that because you have this attitude, it doesn't make you a little girl who needs her daddy? because damn, yes, you need him. but i fear daddy was the only one who didn't need you because guess what ? he left. and you make all the men leave around you ! but the difference between us is that you care. when i fucking dont care.”

“ you're sick, a sick asshole. and don't touch me ! ” you pushed him away, but he came back, his hand on your throat. “ but you're the sick one who loves me, remember that ?” he answered.

“ but do you think i still love you ? ” you said with a smirk, taking pleasure to see his widen eyes. “ i'm asking you right now, do you think i still love you, and if one day, someone will like you like i do ? it would be so hard for you to find happiness after me, i can promise you this. you will fight a lot. because ? can you see ? can you see i can breathe without you, i can live without you ? but you, can you do this ? yes, you can fight, you can scream and shout but what else ? ”

“ it doesn't hurt, y/n. it doesn't hurt. and you can't break me, as you can't fix me. ”

“ then why are you crying, big boy ? why are those tears for, if not for me ? ”

“ i built a home for you, i did everything for you. ”

“ and then what ? ”

“ don't make me regret it, y/n. don't make me regret the only good thing i've made well in my life, just don't make me regret...this. you don't understand. why did every house i'm in never felt like home ? ”

“ you destroy everything, rafe. but me too, i guess. the difference is that you have an excuse, a reason for being like that. your dad fucked up with you. and i hate him for that. if he had loved you correctly, you would have known and learned how to love people, how to be attached to them. but you don't know any of that, you don't know what it is to love, and to be loved. everything i do for you, you could call it love, even when i'm mean. but it's false, love is tender, it's beautiful. but you know, i think i'm sick because i also like the way you love me, this violence, this rage, this impulsiveness, it drives me crazy but it makes me alive. so, do you think you could do it again? ”

“ why you didn't leave, why you never leave ? ”

“ because it's our house. we're stuck in forever. this is our house in nebraska, our only heaven. now be a good boy and cry a little for me, i think i'm going away a little...” you said, taking him in your arms, your hand placed on his back, and your hand pressed to his cheek. “don’t worry, i cry a lot too. all the time, even when you make me happy. ” you shushed him, bursted in tears in the hug.

you kissed him on the corner of his lips, your mouth meeting his tears, before he joined you in this kiss, you felt his sad and salty tongue against yours, his hands came squeeze your waist.

but now in the present, you were alone. the house still existed but it was just you.

you weren't sleeping anymore, because you kept hoping that he would come home, you were hoping that he would come home late at night.

but you were alone in a dirty and cold mattress. and you prayed for him hoping he was okay. the phone was broken but you were hoping to hear it ring, the door was open and you were waiting for a sign.

nothing was right, everything was wrong. you just wanted to say to rafe that he had you, that he had a house, and his home missed him, like nobody ever does in his life.

you didn't realize that you had been lying all this time, and that you were silently dying. but at least you died, only his.

[bubble-dream-inc]

i walk the line.

You had joked with Ghost before about getting married, never with a tone serious enough for it to be taken into account, even if it was something you dreamed about whenever you were alone with your thoughts. What you hadn’t expected was the question to come up at such an inopportune time. 

Pairing: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Sergeant Reader

rbs greatly appreciated!

WC: 2.1 K

a/n: i hate giving my fics titles so just assume the song in the title is the vibe i want the fic to have lmao. also this is unedited and not beta read so beware of typos and shit

warnings: estabilished relationship, profanity, whump, description of wound, mentions of death, badly timed marriage proposal, medical inaccuracies, fluff, happy ending

It’s cold.

No, scratch that. It’s fucking freezing.

God, you hate the cold. Considering how much you despise it, it amuses you to think you might have been a desert creature in another life. A lizard, maybe. The types to scurry really fast and eat small insects all day. What a life.

You’re lost in your musings but you think there are a few very faint voices calling for you. Where are they coming from? Above? Seems like it. First, you hear their voices getting clearer, and recognize a word. It’s your codename, meaning, it’s your teammates voices. But why do they sound so agitated? Next, you feel pain. Quickly rising, scorching hot pain in your abdomen. 

Oh, that’s right. You were shot.

A scream echoes out wherever you are and only later you’d recognize it as your own, in the same moment you recognize Ghost’s own booming voice frantically calling out for you, and the heavy weight of Soap’s large hands holding you down so you wouldn’t trash as much. It had been ironic, really, how much the mission went smoothly, 99% of it being completed without a hitch, but right as you were about to celebrate success, some fucker neither of you had seen before had decided to put a bullet in you - any of you - blindly, and it so happened it would hit you. The offender was long gone, a throw knife lodged in his skull as quick as a blink of an eye in the split second after the gunshot was heard, but the damage was already done. A few seconds before it happened, you had groaned how much you couldn’t wait for evac to come so you could take a hot shower and sleep, since your bones were aching, and Gaz had laughed and called you old-spirited. So much for that shower, you think as you take in the surroundings of what you could see of the abandoned safe house from your position on the blood stained table. It was painful to think about if that same table was used in the past for a family reunion or to gather folks around for good news, before hell broke loose and war tore apart the people, so you didn’t think about it. Ghost called your codename again and you cast your eyes downwards to look at him, the fear in his eyes sending a chill down your spine.

“Hey! Talk to me, don’t you dare close your eyes!”

You had screamed as he was removing the projectile from your flesh, you realized. Was not your first rodeo, a thought that made you want to laugh bitterly, but just the idea of laughing made you wince in pain. His hands were currently trying to stop the bleeding, and after taking one look at the wound, you suddenly felt at peace. 

It was pretty shitty you were going to die in an equally shitty safehouse, but that’s the life you chose. So, against your better judgment, you chuckle lowly and decide to follow your superior’s orders.

“Keep talking, eh? Alright.” You groaned once more when he applied more pressure to your gaping wound. “L.t, do you- do you remember when i told you…I wanted to retire early and - fuck - get to the countryside and get a big ass dog?”

He looked up at you briefly, glad you were talking but clearly wondering where you were going with this. You knew he hated when you spoke of the future as if you were going to die - which, right now, you were pretty sure it was really happening this time - but you couldn’t help yourself. Of course he remembers that conversation, it was in the beginning of your secret-not-so-secret relationship. You had asked him what he would do if he wasn’t a soldier, and he had given you a very cryptic and vague answer that resembled a lot like nothing. In turn, you told him your wishes half heartedly, as if thinking of living for 10 more years was a very distant dream. 

The relationship between the 141’s Lieutenant and one of its Sargeants was a sort of urban legend going around. People knew it was happening, but didn’t dare speak of it, and no one had ever really seen any proof of it, so, it was best to avoid prying into Ghost’s private matters as to not risk being at the receiving end of his annoyance, and, in turn, you both found solace in having something that only the two of you knew about. It never hindered your professionalism and it had been going on for a few good years now, so it became somewhat naturalized between the folks coexisting in the same space as you and Simon after a while. However, that never stopped the natural curiosity to flourish in a few people - namely, your comrades, who always knew there was something going on given the fact you’d literally look at your superior with hearts in your eyes - so you had to ignore Gaz and Soap’s expectant eyes on you as you spoke so tenderly, the intensity of witnessing the start of what seemed like a very intimate talk momentarily sharing space with the worry they were feeling over you. 

“...Yes. I remember.”

He never forgets the things you say, even if you think it’s not important at the time. You hummed, ignoring the pain that came with it.

“Big dogs were never really my thing. I just-” A cough ripped out of you, and you didn’t need to look to know there was blood in it. “ I just thought it was the kind of thing you’d want. Big dogs fit you. It felt less scary to think about retiring once I added you in the equation.”

You were slurring your words and you knew it. As you regained your breath, you briefly saw a very wide-eyed and angry looking Price curse into his comm asking where the fuck was the goddamn chopper. Your codename being barked alongside the word “WIA” to a poor fellow soldier on the other side of the line left you with a bad taste in your mouth. You hate how scared Ghost looked, your big, scary, stoic Ghost, and you can’t help but feel selfish for leaving him, even if being shot was not your fault and wasn’t really in your plans when you left the base that morning.

“Stop talking like you’re fucking d-”

“We could have done it, you know?” Your laugh is, once again, bitter, and you’re acutely aware of the tears streaming down your face. Death has never scared you, but now that you got a reason to stay, you’re terrified. “Could’ve gotten hitched somewhere nice. Can’t really imagine you in a suit, though.”

The pain doesn’t stop, but it gets duller as you feel your consciousness slipping away, and you never fought so much to stay awake in your entire life. Simon yells something to Soap among the lines of getting something from somewhere so he can continue trying to save you, but you don’t register his words. His tone softens once his eyes are back on you.

“I’d wear a suit if you asked me to, sweetheart.”

“I know. I wouldn’t ask, though.”

Not caring there are other people in the room, you smile at him, well aware it must be uncanny to see Ghost be so tender towards another person, but again, you were the lucky one who got to see it every time it was just the two of you, so you got used to it with time.

Your vision starts spinning more and more, and your eyes start to close the moment you hear the familiar, faint sound of a helicopter getting closer, Simon’s big hands suddenly on your face to try to keep you grounded, and he sounds even more exasperated than before. He calls your name - not your codename, for once.

“Stay alive, do you hear me?! You gotta stay the fuck alive so i can take you to the bloody countryside and get bloody hitched-”

“You askin’ me to marry ya’ in my deathbed, sir?” You manage to slur out, your smile growing despite the panic you don’t have the energy to express settling in your bones, and Simon’s eyes widen even more behind the mask.

“Yes, I am, so stay with me, that’s a fucking order-”

You chuckle, closing your eyes as the frantic sounds around you all blur into a garbled mess. Faintly you feel your body being moved around, a strong wind on your blood and dirt caked hair, hear some more shouting, but then,

Silence.

——————————

Feels like the thousandth time you have woken up, and the feeling of coming in and out of consciousness is unbearable at best.

The first time - or the second, you don’t remember - there was a strong light above you, but you had no energy to open your eyes, so it lasted a measly second before you were out again. Later, you heard an unfamiliar voice saying something about an induced coma for a few days for a better recovery. You wondered if they were talking about you (they probably were). This happens a few more times before you actually feel your consciousness coming back for good, and, before you open your eyes, the first thing you notice is how warm it is, and, if you could, you’d smile. The spring air smells good, and you think you catch a whiff of cleaning products while you inhale, suddenly aware of how empty your lungs felt. The third thing you notice is the weight on your hand, and once you open your eyes, you find a familiar set of skeleton gloved hands on top of your own. A few years back you had told him with a laugh the print was very 2000’s, and he had just brushed you off with a scowl, but you’ve never been so glad to see the tacky thing. His thumb caresses your skin as he patiently waits for you to become more aware of your surroundings, and you instantly smile when you finally meet his gaze, which looks extremely relieved.

“Hi.” Your throat feels parched, voice straining as if you’d swallowed a kilo of sand, but Simon thinks your voice never sounded so sweet to his ears.

“Hi.” 

It hurts to move, but you do so anyway, slowly sitting up despite Simon’s protests just so you can see him more clearly and grasp his hand a little better. While you are busy cringing at the dull pain in your stomach from the stitches, he extends a glass of water for you, to which you grab and gulp down immediately, quenching your thirst and looking over at your partner with such gratitude an onlooker would have thought he was a literal godsend. 

“How bad is it?” Your voice still felt rough from disuse, but at least it sounded a bit more familiar to your ears. 

“Pretty bad.” He doesn’t bother you with details; he knows you were never a fan of hearing about your wounds descriptively. “But you’ve always been tough.”

You flash him a grin that has him silently flabbergasted both with how beautiful you are and how quickly you seem to bounce back from a near fatal injury. Suddenly, you remember your last words before you blacked out, and your smile turns shy as you cast your gaze down to where your hands meet.

“...Did you mean it?” 

Simon has always been extremely observant and smart, he knows what you are talking about immediately, and you like to think he is smiling under the mask as he goes back to gingerly caressing the top of your smaller hand with his thumb.

“I did, sweetheart.” His voice is low, and every time he calls you a pet name it has your heart doing somersaults. “I’m sorry I don't have a ring yet and I don't know when we would have some time off to have a ceremony, but I want to marry ya’. If you’ll have me, that is.”

Feeling like your smile would grow so big it would rip your face, you beamed at him, acutely aware of how you must have been looking like a mess with a - hospital - bed head and tired eyes, but you’d hoped he could notice the hearts in your eyes as obviously as you felt them. Things always seemed to fall in place with Ghost; no need for extravagance or huge acts, and the fact that your marriage proposal was exactly that, made you fall even more in love with him. You watched lovingly as he raised your hand to press a mask covered kiss on the top of it, and shook your head, laughing gently.

“Of course i’ll marry you, Simon.”

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

A Moment's Silence

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: Oral (f receiving). unprotected sex, marking, praise, Loki got a dangerous mouth but this isn't too bad.

Genre: smut & fluff

Summary: Loki hates when you touch him, and you thought you knew exactly why. // A moment's silence when my baby puts her mouth on me ~ Moment's Silence (Common Tongue) by Hozier

***

The first thing Loki learned about you when you moved into the Avengers Tower was that you are touchy. Not in the 'you're too sensitive' way but in the you're very affectionate way. You're always greeting people with hugs and you cuddle whoever sits next to you during movie nights and whenever you're going somewhere with someone you're either holding their hand or linking arms with them. It's pretty different from the rest of the people living here. Except for Thor, no one here shares your affinity for touch but everyone loves you so they take it in stride. Welcoming your hugs and cuddles and hand holds to the point that most of them have become accustomed to it, expecting it more often than they want to admit.

Except Loki. Loki doesn't do touch and no amount of seeing you do it will make him more comfortable with it. You're no fool. You recognized early that although the others complained when you hugged them there was no real fight in their objections, with Loki it's different. He'd go as far as to disappear on you if you tried to hug him so you stopped. You don't hug Loki, or sit by him during movies, or try to grab his arm on the rare occasion that you're going somewhere with him. Honestly, for a while you didn't spend much time with Loki in general, you weren't sure how to. He was clearly a loner and you assumed you didn't have much in common. He didn't seem eager to bond with you either so you left him to his own devices.

Until recently. You've started spending a lot of your free time in the tower library and evidently, Loki is quite fond of the space too. So you kind of just share it. If you find yourself in there at the same time as him you say hello and pick a corner to do your reading. Sometimes you talk to him a bit and other times you just share each other's company. It's becoming a kind of lovely routine, at least in your eyes. You have no idea if Loki enjoys it as much as you actually but he can be pretty conversational on occasion, usually as long as you're not too close to him.

"Hello Loki." You say when he walks into the library. You've already been here a couple of hours, you honestly didn't think you'd see Loki today.

"Hello y/n. How are you today?" He asks.

"Pretty good. How are you?" You set your book face down in your lap as you watch him walk out of sight to one of the shelves.

"I'm alright! What are we reading today?" Loki's voice carries through the room to you.

"I've picked up a romance for now."

"Not legends and myths for once?" You can hear the teasing in his voice at his question.

"Fuck off I read other stuff." You laugh.

"News to me."

"And what will you be reading today god of mischief? Sifting through spells as always?"

"I was thinking poetry actually." Loki finally appears from beyond the stacks with a book in hand.

"You're a poetry fan?"

"Don't sound so surprised." He rolls his eyes as he sits in the armchair across from the couch you're lying on.

"Well, it's not like you use that silver tongue of yours to recite sonnets." You snort picking up your book.

"Some would say this silver tongue of mine has quite a way with words."

"And I'm sure it does but weaving together lies isn't the same as poeticism. No one will be mixing you up with Robert Frost or William Shakespeare." You muse, your attention drifting back to the story you were invested in before he arrived.

"Your midgardian bards are of no competition to a god you know."

"I'm sure Asgard has its own famous poets of which I'm sure no one would compare you to either." You mutter as you read.

"Now that's harsh." Loki says. You mumble an affirmative dismissively as the drama picks up in the chapter you're reading. Loki takes the hint and leaves you alone as he opens his own chosen read for the afternoon and you spend the rest of the day in silence. Until dinner.

"I'm making dinner and it's movie night. Are you joining us or will you stay here?" You ask, standing up.

"Do you want me to join?" Loki asks.

"I mean- not if you're going to be miserable. I'm just headcounting."

"The others aren't usually as welcoming as you can be."

"Well I w-" You stop yourself. You've only just started to form a friendship with Loki, as much as you enjoy spending time with him you can't outwardly say it. Well maybe you could but you have a feeling the skittish animal approach is best. "I wouldn't be... disappointed if you decided to join us."

"I'll think about it." He hums.

"Alright. See you, maybe." You leave with your book intent on finishing it after movie night. You drop it in your room before going to the kitchen to make dinner. Meatballs, mashed potatoes, and broccoli. It takes almost an hour to make enough for everyone and by the time you're done, most everyone's gathered in the living room.

"Dinner's up! Stevie, Bucky come grab the potatoes and broccoli please." You say grabbing the bowl with the meatballs.

"Coming!" Steve says as he and Bucky hop up from their seats and carry the other serving plates to the big table in the living room where the others are waiting.

"And Sam can you get plates for everyone hon." You say.

"Oh sure." Sam says.

"Get the soda from the fridge too! And the solo cups!" Tony calls after him as he heads into the kitchen.

"Man you coulda just got up and helped out like the rest of us." Sam rolls his eyes but he gets the soda and cups anyway in addition to the plates you asked for. You catch movement in the corner of your eye while everyone is serving themselves and your gaze pops up in time to see Loki strolling into the main room.

"Loki!" You smile before you can stop yourself.

"Brother! Will you be joining us for our moving picture night?" Thor asks.

"Yeah sure." Loki says.

"Brilliant!" Thor nods getting up to clap a hand on Loki's back.

"I made meatballs and broccoli and mashed potatoes if you'd like some. We were just getting settled before we start the movie." You tell him. To your surprise, Loki takes the empty seat beside you and you can only hope your shock doesn't show on your face.

"I haven't missed anything then?" Loki asks.

"Not really." You shake your head. Loki nods and serves himself food.

"Whose pick is it tonight?" You ask once everyone has food in front of them and a few of the boys have already started eating.

"The kid." Tony says, shoveling mashed potatoes into his mouth.

"Yeah! I uh decided on Now You See Me." Peter says.

"Nice." Natasha nods.

"What is that?" Loki asks you.

"It's a heist movie." You tell him. "Peter, have you seen it before?" You ask.

"Uh-"

"It's not like the baby spider's gonna be attempting anything like this." Clint scoffs.

"That's not why I asked. I'm just wondering if he picked it because he wants to watch it for the first time or because it's a favorite." You roll your eyes.

"I've seen it once. I just thought it would be a fun watch." Peter says.

"Well let's start it then. Yes?" Wanda prompts. Peter sets up the movie and soon everyone's attention is on the screen as they eat. It's about halfway through the movie that your usual habits kick in and you lean over to place your head on the shoulder beside you- until you remember it's Loki by your side and Loki doesn't like being touched. You lull your head back and around to tilt the other way. Wanda's on your other side but she's cuddled up with Vision so you'll just chill with your head against the back of the couch. No biggie. One movie bleeds to the next though and apparently at some point you start drifting off. Not for long, maybe 5 minutes but when your eyes flutter open again your head has made its way to Loki's damn shoulder. You pull off when you realize, surprised he didn't shove you away whenever you landed there.

Loki had held his breath when he felt your head on his shoulder. He was reluctant to admit the weight felt- oddly comforting. If anyone asked he'd deny it to high heaven but he was pretty content with you leaning against him and when you'd woken up and abruptly moved he almost wanted to protest. Almost.

When the second movie ends, most of the others start cleaning up the living room. Since you made dinner, this part isn't your responsibility so you get up and excuse yourself from the group.

"Goodnight everybody." You say to the room. "And Loki, thank you for coming." You add just for him to hear. Before you can think better of it your hand runs gently through his hair when you speak to him but by the time he's reacting to it you're already disappearing down the hall to your room. Loki spends the rest of the night thinking about your hand in his hair, your head on his shoulder, the way you so casually thanked him at the end as you left- it was something so unfamiliar that he didn't know how to deal with it. And how insufferable to be up all night over this.

The next day when you enter the library after breakfast Loki is already there sitting on the couch in your usual shared space. You're almost done with the novel you picked up yesterday and your plan is to finish it now.

"Hello Loki." You say to him as you take a seat on the opposite couch.

"Hello y/n." He says. You don't notice the way he looks at you over the top of his book for a moment. He's not sure if he should talk to you about the night before or not. How would he even bring it up? The two of you maintain your usual quiet company for a few hours while you finish your book. When you've read the last page you return the book to the shelf you found it on. While walking back to your couch you almost crash into Loki who at some point stood up when you were looking for a new book.

"Oh shit- my bad Lo." You say.

"You dropped your bookmark." Loki says holding up the flat dragon-shaped metal. You gasp and pat your back pocket where you thought you'd put it.

"Fuck- thanks. It was a gift so- would totally suck to lose it." You say, throwing your arms around him. Loki doesn't feel the urge to magically escape your grasp and he almost stops you when you let him go. Almost. "Sorry- impulse." You mutter grabbing your bookmark from his hand.

"You're usually much better at not touching me." He points out.

"I guess we've been spending so much time together that I kind of forg- sorry man. Won't happen again." You mutter.

"I wasn't- I know that's what you're like. It wasn't a complaint. Just an observation."

"You can say it wasn't a complaint but I know what you're like too. You hate being touched." You scoff.

"That's not totally accurate."

"What?"

"Usually you're right- I do hate being touched but with you I don- it's not that I hate it but I still can't stand it just- in a different way than I'm used to." Loki says carefully.

"What does that mean?" You chuckle.

"I'm- not entirely sure." He frowns.

"Well, what if I- do you mind if I touch you now?" You ask carefully.

"That's- fine." Loki says, hesitation clear on his face. You lift your hand to his cheek gently and his eyes close when your skin touches his. You let your thumb graze him softly as his brow furrows. Loki's hand snaps up around your wrist moments later and he moves your hand just enough to break the contact. "I can't-"

"What is it?"

"Too much- it's too much. I feel- entirely too much when you touch me, I can't-"

"Can't what?" You tilt your head curiously.

"I don't know how to handle it. I want- I want more than I can have."

"Say more, please."

"When you... do that. When you touch me it- I don't know how to explain it I just want more from you. Like- like I could devour you whole and it would still not be enough and I- I can't, we can't- so you can't touch me."

"Why can't we?"

"What?" Loki's eyes widen at your calm question.

"You're saying we can't but- why? Is it- is it that this is a desire you have but wish you didn't or-"

"No. That's not it."

"Then- why... can't... we?"

"Please don't say things like that. Not if you don't mean them. I cannot take it."

"I wouldn't say it lightly. I don't understand why you're so adamant that I wouldn't want- that you couldn't have more from me if you asked."

"If I asked?"

"Yes. Tell me what it is you want from me Loki."

"Why would you make such an offer?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Nobody wants-" Loki pauses, his gaze dropping as if the floor is more interesting to look at than you. "I just wonder how this is advantageous to you in any way."

"Do you think yourself that undeserving?" You frown and his eyes snap up to yours.

"I never said-"

"You don't always have to. Sometimes it's what we don't say that ends up being the loudest." You say. "I'm going to touch you again Loki. This time when it gets too much just- give into that feeling."

"You have no idea what you're signing up for." Loki's eyes are wide.

"I trust you." You whisper and his features melt into a soft grin, as if your words settled something within him. You place your hand on his cheek again, watching his eyes flutter shut as he leans into your touch. The moment stretches for a while until Loki's hands settle on your waist and pull you against him to bring his lips to yours.

The kiss is soft, hesitant, at first- as if he's expecting you to withdraw, but when you drape your arms loosely over his shoulders and deepen the kiss all manner of shyness seems to leave him. The kiss becomes harsher, more desperate, as if he's trying to devour you and give you all he is at once. You match him moment for moment, tongues dancing, hands roaming as you pour everything into that kiss. Loki lifts you and you wrap your legs around him. You pepper his face with sweet kisses as he carries you to one of the couches.

"Are you sure you want to give yourself to me?" Loki asks quietly.

"Are you sure you want to give yourself to me?" You turn the question back to him and he drops to his knees in front of you.

"I have given myself to you a thousand times over, long before now. I belong to you without question." His eyes pierce yours with their intensity as you allow his words to sink in. You almost can't believe he's said it but there's no denying the truth in his voice when he stares at you so earnestly. You clutch his face in your hands, meeting his gaze with equal candor.

"Then you may have me Loki. I am happy to give myself to you." You tell him and he lets out a deep breath. He says something to himself before tugging at the waist of your shorts. You help him take them off of you along with your panties before he speaks again.

"I have wondered for too long how you would taste on my tongue." Loki mutters as he spreads your legs. Before you can fully process the sentence to come up with a response, Loki buries his face at the apex of your thighs. He licks a stripe along your entrance, collecting the evidence of your arousal, letting out a groan as the essence of you floods his tastebuds. You gasp, threading your fingers into his dark hair as his tongue plunges into you, caressing your inner walls, lapping at your juices.

"Oh- oh god." You breathe out, your back arching towards Loki's eager mouth. He groans against you, the vibrations only adding to your pleasure as you squirm against his face. Loki brings his hands up to your thighs, holding you still and open for him as he switches focus, dragging his tongue against your clit in the most delicious way. His movements are sharp, calculated, his eyes on you as he watches what pulls the strongest reactions from you and focuses on those things until your body tenses beneath his hands. Loki pushes two fingers between your walls and curls them as his mouth latches onto your button. The combination is deadly and you can't stop the cry you let out as your orgasm hits you full force. Loki gently works you through it with his fingers and tongue and only when your breathing goes from harsh pants to shuttering draws does he sit back. He makes a point to link his fingers clean when your eyes flutter open.

"Even better than I expected." He says.

"What?" You ask with a breathless chuckle.

"How you taste, the sight of you in pure pleasure, the feel of your skin against mine- all of it, even better than I imagined." Loki punctuates each item on his list with a trail of kisses until he's hovering over you. 

"Yes well, how nice to learn that silver tongue of yours is good for more than smart remarks." You smirk and pull him down into a kiss, tasting yourself on his lips and not caring, you simply want to be connected like this forever. Your hands trail down Loki's abdomen, freeing him from his own pants which he shoves the rest of the way off when you can no longer push them yourself. His kisses drop to your neck as he does so.

"You'll have plenty of time to learn all that my silver tongue is good for." He mutters against your skin. You giggle at his words a bit though it's shortlived as Loki chooses that moment to rock his hips into yours and the stretch of his length turns your giggle to a gasp. He takes his time working himself between your walls, allowing you to feel every single inch of him as he pushes deeper and deeper until he eventually bottoms out with a groan. "Stars above you're so- warm." He pants out. He's not moving, you realize, waiting for you to adjust so you tilt your hips forward, grinding against him impatiently.

"Loki please- move." You mewl and that's all it takes. Loki's hips knock back and he drives into you with full force, setting an even pace of deep thrusts meant for you to feel every drag of his dick against your walls.

"This- I'm sure, is Valahala." Loki pants out as he's fucking into you.

"So good- Loki it feels so good." You slip your hands into his shirt, dragging your nails across his back.

"I know my darling. I know." Loki hisses at the sweet sting from your claws. His rhythm doesn't falter as you cling to him, in fact, the feel of your hands against his skin sets Loki alight. You moan breathily, relishing in the way Loki fucks into you almost wildly. The heat of your walls is dizzying and Loki can already feel his release creeping down his spine. He slips a hand between your bodies and finds your clit, rubbing circles against the bundle of nerves. Your back arches as a whimper falls from your lips, the extra stimulation quickly bringing you closer.

"Loki-" You whine.

"Let go for me love. Show me how good I make you feel. Let your release coat my dick." Loki coaxes as his fingers dance along your clit as if he's already worked out all your right buttons to push.

"Oh my g-" You gasp out as your orgasm hits you like a wave crashing.

"Beautiful." Loki breathes. "I could watch you do that a thousand times and never tire of the face you make in ecstasy."

"Your turn now sweetie, show me what face you make in ecstasy Loki." You say gently, one hand threading into his hair. With your encouragement, it doesn't take much more for Loki's hips to stutter as his orgasm means the flooding of your walls in liquid heat.

You both lie still for some time, Loki only half holding himself up to avoid crushing you on the couch. You really can't believe the grumpy god that would straight up disappear if you so much as tapped his shoulder is currently lying in your arms. He can hardly believe it himself, but it's as soothing as he could have hoped. Not that he'd- ever admit that.

***

[nmakii]

BURNT OUT

— love comes in different forms; some are passionate, and some are quiet. and, some loves are meant to burn out

— this is so me and my ex friends core xx

out of all the positions in hell to be, being the lover of the radio demon isn’t so bad. he’s quite the gentleman and very kind. he gives you everything you need— materialistic desires, home cooking with his own recipes, even his love.

but, his love— it doesn’t feel real. or moreso, it doesn’t feel genuine. from the people in your lives; love is supposed to be fiery, passionate, and strong. yet, alastor’s love is quiet, but undying. every touch gave you butterflies, yet there was no passion in his fingertips when he’d hold you close. he didn’t treat you differently from how he treats others, why? did he just not see you as worthy of special treatment? of his affection? as stupid as it sounds, you felt neglected and tossed aside like a little lost puppy.

still, you stayed. ‘he just doesn’t know how to show it, it’s okay.’ you always thought. and while true, it started to get harder to reason with the part of you desperate for his time, his story behind the man, his everything. you tried to reach out— hold him and let him be vulnerable, but he refused. after all, alastor is a dignified man, he wouldn’t cry in front of anyone. he has to always keep that calm demeanor of his.

in the end, you started to lash out, picking disagreements with alastor, because ‘if he’s arguing with me, he must care for me to some extent. right..?’. everyday, there’d be another small thing that you’d be angry at. and at the end of it all, everything blew up in your face when you yelled out those three words— ‘i hate you.’

you didn’t mean it, you don’t hate alastor. you just… yearn for him so much, it makes you angry. and, that in turn, makes you think you hate him. “do you now? what is it about me that you loathe so much?” alastor mused, raising an eyebrow at you.

“ugh!” you grunted, your mind running paces as you tried to think of something to say. “didn’t i tell you before, dear? i am a demon to my soul, no amount of love from you could ever change that.” he spat out, almost coldly. “well, you’re right! is that what you want to hear?!” you rolled your eyes. “you’re right, alastor! i couldn’t fix you, i shouldn’t have even fucking tried!” you glared at him, desperately hoping that he has something to say.

“are you done now?” he asked, tilting his head.

“no, i’m not done!” you stomped towards him, coldly staring him in the eye as you vented out all your frustrations. “is that all that matters to you— the fact that you’re right?! i fell in love with you, for god’s sake! you shouldn’t have said anything that would’ve gotten my hopes up if you were gonna let me down like this! i stayed because i thought you could learn to love, but again— you’re right, nothing can fix you!” you hissed out, tears starting to wet your face. “and, one day… someone will love me. and, that’ll make you regret losing me.” you sighed out, a weight falling off your chest, as if you’ve been freed from your shackles.

it was then that alastor held you against him, patting your back as he comforted you. yet still, it was as if he wasn’t there at all. it was faint and cold as his claws kept you close to him. “is that what has been troubling you, dear?” he asked. “no, it’s not just that. i’m done, alastor.” you sniffed through your tears. and from your words, he seemingly tensed. “why the sudden change of heart?” alastor asked.

you stared at him in disbelief, did he believe that after all you’ve said, this was just another quarrel? “for someone so smart and collected, you’re kind of stupid when it comes to this stuff.” you said. alastor sucked a breath through his teeth, as if holding his anger back. “i just can’t keep pretending we’ll work. it’s clear we’re not made to love each other, we both still have things from our past that we need to deal with. and, let’s face it— we can’t recover from this. we’re done.”

“i see.” alastor said, his tone uncharacteristically glum and cold despite the smile on his face. his grip on you loosened as he let you go. “you were a wonderful experience, alastor.” you sighed out. “i don’t… hate you at all, i was just angry. and even though we aren’t meant for each other, there’ll always be a part of me that loves you.”

alastor stared at you, amused by your words. “hm. well, that is just darling of you. i will still try to keep you alive, i suppose it is my job after all, ahahaha!” he laughed as you awkwardly stepped away from alastor’s touch.

and, though you yearn for each other, there’s no use in trying to ignite a flame that’s been burnt out.

[priestessame]

Sesshomaru -`♡´-

"Be no fool, I have no such time to waste" or so he said - sry

Fem AFAB reader x Sesshomaru

Warnings: Breeding kink, oral receiving, knotting, unprotected sex, Sesshomaru is a tease.

Minors DNI

(Re-upload from my old account :P)

"Did it surprise you?" He asked, voice like the patter of rain.

"It did," I said testily. I didn't have anything against sitting around having small talk, but I was for once, still coming to terms with the vision before me. The daiyokai of the west sitting there. Without an Armor, dressed in only the thin layer of his inner kimono. As he sat on the other side of the mattress, lounging, the inner, hung around his huge shoulders lazily, baring his pale smooth skin. I had never seen so much of it before, never seen the faint battle scars that rippled across the skin like dunes across silver sand.

I forced myself to look at his face. Not that it was any better. He was gorgeous, ridiculously so. The sharp lines of his face seemed to grow deeper in the moonlight, amber mauve eyes perched on me full of amusement. He wasn't the cold demon lord right then, it was a lover's vision. Sitting across from me, his silver hair beautifully tousled, a sight for me to keep. He wouldn't let anyone else see him like that, being so vulnerable. It wasn't just the breath's distance between us that was intimate, it was the space we were in too.

Most of the time Sesshomaru was a fleeting moment, gone before I could catch him, a silver streak across the sky. But now, sitting right here, he seemed to have all the leisure of time. He was past sneaking glances, right now right here he could gaze at her all he wanted and drink in every inch of her body.

"Would you have preferred separate chambers?" he mused, leaning forward, the inner kimono drew back exposing more of his skin. I hated how he knew exactly what he was doing. And what that was doing to me. I pursed my lips, trying to push down the urge to jump at him.

The last time I was here, I had my own chambers. The one closest to Sesshomaru's quarters. They were ice blue and faced the plum flower trees, I had made myself quite at home there. This time when I was here with the others, I was expecting to stay in my own chambers again, But surprisingly, ‘the others’ my two companions, Sara and Kagura were the ones who were given that room. I shouldn't have felt bitter, I had no right to. After all, I was just a guest of Sesshomaru's now, just like I had been before, nothing more. But I did.

I tasted the bitterness as Sara and Kagura squealed in excitement and hurried into the chambers I had once stayed in. I followed them awkwardly, the turquoise blue drapes, the gold-ornate embellishes on the walls it was all exactly the same. Exactly as I had remembered. The two ran past me, into the huge chamber. I was annoyed at how my heart sank. But I shook off the feeling and kindly asked the attendant where I was supposed to stay. But the cat demon had just blinked at me stupidly.

"I'm sorry my lady I don't understand." she said tilting her head, "Lord Sesshomaru specifically said, that you would be staying with him, in his lordship's chambers."

My soul had transcended there and then, but Sara and Kagura's expressions had brought it back.  Asshole. lady. He had made them call me lady.

"I-its alright," I said, pulling my attention away from his face. It was annoying how much I wanted him, for just how long I had wanted him. I had only gazed at him before, resting against the tree, the white fluffy thing pooling around him like starlight. Stupid demon mutt, with ridiculous body proportion and stupid ass fucking gorgeous eyes. Argh.  When I had first met him, I had found him unreadable and distant. Someone unattainable, a lone god. Rising and slumbering in his own world. The closest I had come to touching him was when we had traveled through the underworld, I remembered how my palms were pressed against the hash cold metal of his armor. It was less being held and more me clinging on for dear life. But that was the first time he had felt real. Blood, bone, and flesh. Not just some deity, melting into sunlight, but someone tangible. Someone who could be felt. Someone who could be touched.

Clearly, we had come a long way from then, I now had the unattainable God at arm's length, half-naked leisurely awaiting for me to come to him. And to think he wanted me as much as I wanted him was really too good to be true. As much as I wanted to dive in his arms, I was quite enjoying the attention. The great Sesshomaru, proud as one can be, was so shamelessly trying to entice a human girl…Not that I was any better. I had really pulled out my thigh-high socks, who wore those to bed? I had even kissed my oversized jammies goodbye and put on a kimono, which I had worn more like a bathrobe than a garment. It fell open embarrassingly high, and my entire leg was out on display. Unknowingly it had become a competition of who went to whom first.

His fingers ran through my hair, my heart was hammering away with anticipation. How many times had I thought of this moment? How many times I had dreamed of it?

His fingers trailed down my thigh sending goosebumps across my body. That's it.

My body reacted before I could complete my thought. I threw my hand around his neck, pressing myself against his body until our lips met with a crushing force. His mouth was hard on mine, but it came with an edge of desperation I didn’t quite expect. He growled against my mouth, fingers digging into my hips as he pulled me so that I was sitting in his lap. I pulled apart for a breath, but he closed the distance instantly. Through his kisses I could feel his fangs bite at my lower lip, sucking and pulling desperately. I moaned as I felt his tongue pry into my mouth. But I was feeling a little bratty. I clamped my mouth shut, refusing entry. I could feel his annoyance as he growled, he raised his fingers to trace my jaw, thumb pressing against my lip.

"Open." he rasped, it was definitely a command and I felt thrills of excitement run down my spine. I pulled my mouth open and his fingers slid in. I gagged as he pushed them further. There was something so dirty about him exploring my mouth like that, the way they traced over my teeth and rubbed against my tongue, but it turned me on even more. more. I needed more.

His rough kisses snaked down my jaw to my shoulder.

He yanked the fabric of the kimono past my shoulders and I yelped as the cold air hit my bare skin. He trailed his rough kisses down my throat, pulling, bitting the skin, teasingly. With the roughness there was an ease with which his mouth worked over my body, he was taking his time savoring tasting my skin. His fingers were still buried in my hips holding me in place as his mouth found my breasts. I could feel his bulge grow against my thigh, as he brought his arms up along my sides, nails scaping skin lightly. My palms pressed against his broad chest, sliding over his neck down to his tone stomach. I groaned as his fingers raked my body. His kisses slipping between my breasts, as his fingers squeezed and teased them. Fingers and palms pressing and rolling over my nipples, sending sparks of pleasure down my spine. His hands and fingers were teasing, but his mouth was rough and desperate. He would pull the skin and bite my breasts so deliciously I wanted to throw my head back and arch into him, give him more skin to explore and claim.

My fingers dug into his skin, trailing down his tone arms and chest. I traced his abbs lower, fingers finally brushing against the hard bulge between his legs.  Sesshomaru snarled from the pleasure, but he just swatted my hand away. "tsk." he exclaimed, "You don't get to touch me tonight human," he drawled out, "Tonight is about me claiming you."

I blinked, claiming- what?

Long fingers undoing the obi around my waist, "You had no idea how to tie it, did you?" He sniggered, finally pulling the knot open. His fingers dug into my sides and left haunting kisses down the rest of my body. I mewled out as his fingers traced my lower abdomen, "No," I admitted, "But it seems to get the job done-" my breath stuck in my chest as his palm brushed against my core.

He arched an eyebrow, "Now you blush?"

He could easily see my dampness through my underwear, he traced a ghost of a touch along the darkened wet spot. He pressed into it lightly and I bit my lip, that fucking tease. Whatever impatience he had before, seemed to have abandoned him completely. Now that he had me under him like this, he was taking all the sweet time in the world. Rubbing me through my panties, drawing patterns with his fingers, when he finally tugged them down his nailed ripped through them.

"H-hey!" I cried, "I liked those, you don't get easily washable material like that in the feudal-". His finger slipped inside and I moaned as I felt my walls wrap around him. I had wanted something inside me for so fucking long. But he slipped it out before I could entirely enjoy it. "You're so wet," he growled, his fingers curled around my thighs as he pushed them up, kissing my knee. He continued to lower himself, trailing a path down my inner thigh. I felt my heart stop as his breath brushed against my core. "Let's see just how wet you can get for this Sesshomaru."

His tongue stroked my folds, and I bit my lip to keep myself from screaming. His tongue teased the folds, slippery lewd sounds echoed off the chamber walls as he continued to eat me out. His mouth reached my clit sucking it lightly and I couldn't help it anymore. Pathetic moans tumbled from my lips, my hips buckling and twitching to his tongue.

As busy as his mouth was, he still found ways to taunt me, “Look at you, mewling like a bitch in heat.” he snarled against my core,

"i- ah I-!" I could no longer comprehend words, pleasure burned into my core as he continued to tease my clit with his tongue, his thumb rubbing circles around my entrance. The orgasm tore from her as her walls squelched helplessly, Sesshomaru gave my clit a final flick and my body buckled from the overstimulation. I slumped back down on the mattress with a soft thump, chest heaving, and my mind swimming with pleasure.

He looked up at me from between my knees, slick covering his lips as he slipped his tongue out to taste me again. Just that sight threatened to make me orgasm again.

"turn around."

"What?"

He tilted his head to the side, long silver hair falling over his shoulder like a river to stars, but his amber eyes were still smoldering, "Turn around and get on your knees, kitten." he said. I scrambled on my knees, was he really going to take me like a bitch?

“it's embarrassing”

“Embarrassing?” Sesshomaru cooed, “To have your pussy exposed like this?” his fingers found my clit again. My hips buckled as he began playing with my entrance again, sliding his finger inside easily, arching them as drew them out. “A little late to embarrassed now isn’t it? Not when we are this wet, not when you’re making that face for me.”

'i-I cant help it- AH!" I yelped as he slipped a second finger inside, waiting for my walls to adjust to the size before returning to his lazy rhythm.

He curled his fingers, the thumb still drawing patterns on my clit, I felt myself reaching my limit again and my body shuddered, I was about to cum again, But-

"I don't-" I tried for words, fighting the irresistible pleasure riding through my body.

"what is it human?" he purred out, enjoying how much of a mess he was making of me.

"I don't want to cum from your fingers again-i-"

Sesshomaru pulled his fingers out torturously slow, I felt his fang scrape against my shoulder as he leaned in to whisper to her, "Tell me what you want, kitten." he rasped against my  ear, "Tell this Sesshomaru what you want inside you."

"You-" I said shamelessly, "I want your cock inside me."

I looked back to see his eyes darken, in the shadow of the room, he looked like a feral demon now more than ever. His lip twitched up in a faint smirk. He wrapped his fingers around my waist and flipped me over. I watched as he towered over me, pinning my wrists over my head. I felt my eyes widen. I felt an undeniable thrill run down my spine as I realized I couldn’t move my arms at all. He was really going to claim me tonight.

"Then human," he rumbled, "My cock is what you'll have."

I knew he was going to be big, so there wasn't much surprise, but still, the fucking thought of that being inside sent jitters across my body.

My heart hammered with anticipation as he finally, finally lined himself against my entrance. The bulbous tip stretched me out as he entered, he filled me up completely as he pushed himself entirely in, it was hot and heavy my walls pressed against him. "Look at you, such a good little kitten taking me so well." he purred, his nails dug into the mattress. I could feel the heat and the throb of his cock through my walls, it was so overwhelming I felt like I was going to melt. Every thurst was sending jolts of pleasure through my body, I could feel him move inside me, rubbing my walls, digging into me so deliciously I was seeing stars.

I grabbed onto his hair, fingers sinking into them like silk. His fangs scraped my neck as he drove forward.

I had never seen him like that. It both terrified and turned me on. The great demon lord seemed to have lost complete hold on himself. His blue marks extended, growing more ragged, his pants grew more erratic. I could tell he was very close. His penis throbbed as my walls squelched helplessly against his length. His grip on my wrist tightened as he growled, “I have wanted to fuck a litter into you for a long time.”

The thought of him breeding me turned me on more than it should have. I screamed, arching my back and snapping my hips up. “please, please breed me, lord Sesshomaru!.” I moaned out, shame having left my body long ago.

That’s all I needed to say to put him over the edge. Sesshomaru growled, slamming his mouth onto mine. I felt his release exploded inside me, warm liquid splashing against my walls, filling me up. The demon lord threw his head back, riding out his own orgasm into her. It was quite the sight to see, Sesshomaru in all his glory, chest heaving as he continued to ride her, a lining of sweat glistening on his body. The lewd sounds of him pumping his cum deeper into her. It was all too much. He was still inside me when he finally slumped down, burying his face in the crook of my neck. My pussy was throbbing and my heart was still hammering.

I had given himself to him. Completely. With the cum and him still inside me, I felt so full, I didn’t know what to do with myself.

I shifted my hips and Sesshomaru groaned.

‘I, i-it-its stuck.” I said.

Sesshomaru grunted against my neck, “Just hold still, human.”

“oh okay.”

His fingers traced the outline of my jaw, his mouth gliding over my neck. I was quite enjoying the cuddling but…

“So..um.” I began, “How long does it take for it to usually.. unknot?’

“soon.”

I ran my fingers through his hair. “You are a lot more talkative during sex.” I said, “The others would never believe how much you run your mouth.”

Sesshomaru looked up at me and grinned. It was terrifying. Nothing good ever came out of this man smiling.

“What?”

His amber eyes settled on mine, he was still inside me but it was the gaze that made me blush. “They’ll know.” He spoke.

I opened my mouth to question when the realization hit me. No way.

“You can't possibly mean-“ My voice trailed off as he flicked his tongue lazily over my nipple. “y- you gave them my room so that they could… hear us fucking?”

There was a ‘pop’ as he let go of the nipple. And I took that as a yes.

Oh well.

[folkloresthings]

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE — send a muse + a song and i’ll write a little drabble for it. !!!!! pls i beg for a lando & afterglow by miss swift

lando + taylor is my dream every night.

AFTERGLOW. ❨ lando norris x reader ❩

✩⡱ warnings: some cursing

it was too often said that formula one drivers were hot—headed, rash, quick to snap without thinking of the consequences. it was said, because it was true.

lando didn’t fit the stereotype. he was sweet and gentle and always good to you. he didn’t like to take his work stress out on you, but when you were at the paddock with him, trying to help him calm down in his drivers room before the race, it was difficult not to snap.

“it’s going to be fine,” you cooed, helping him into his race suit. qualifying and his practice race hadn’t been good. the car was slow, the strategy was poor, and lando wasn’t at his best. but he could still turn it around — that was all you were trying to convince him of.

“jesus, just give me some space!” the english boy snapped, grabbing the buttons of his suit from you and hastily finishing them off. “your pep talks don’t fucking work — i’ll still do shit today, with or without you.”

you fell silent. you hadn’t realised how sensitive he’d been today, and maybe you should have. he always liked you to hype him up before a race, calm his nerves and assure him he was the best. today was a different story.

lando, too in his head to realise what he’d said, only realised he’d done wrong when he heard the door open and close, and you were gone. hurrying out of the mclaren garage, sniffling and self—conscious. lando groaned, head in his hands.

“fucks sake.”

he had fucked up, and it only made his concentration during the race worse. ending somewhere around P10, but he didn’t care anymore. all he cared about was finding you and apologising. praying and hoping that he hadn’t ruined things completely.

he found you back in his drivers room, probably the one place with privacy that you could stay. you were sat in the corner, back to the wall, eyes red raw with the tears that had been shed.

lando hated himself instantly, shutting the door and rushing to kneel in front of you. your hands were locked tight across your chest, so he settled for resting his palms on your knees, freezing when you flinched away from him.

“i’m sorry. god, i’m so sorry,” he murmured, your eyes not meeting his. “i shouldn’t have snapped at you like that. you were only trying to help, and i was a dick.”

you didn’t dare speak, unsure of what to say. you were hurt and annoyed, but you loved him so much. one look into those eyes and you knew you’d melt.

“please don’t leave me,” lando whispers, afraid of his own words. “just… just tell me we’ll be fine, and i’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

you couldn’t help it then, to melt into his arms, letting him hold you as close as he could. still muttering apologies into your hair, lando swears he’ll never let himself hurt you again. he can’t risk losing you, not when he knows how good the other side can be.

[y-rhywbeth2]

Hello I love bane totally normal amounts, so do you have any favorite fun (or fucked up) trivia facts about my emotional support god of tyranny?

I might've mentioned some of this before, but here's some trivia (and sometimes my musings upon it):

He has absolutely no indoor voice when he's excited. -

If you're invited to pray with the Banites and refuse, expect Bane to curse you with constant debilitating pain that prevents you from being able to cast spells (too much pain to concentrate) or fight, or walk very fast. This doesn't go away until you get a cleric to cast remove curse on you. If you do join them in honouring the Black Lord then your alignment will magically switch to lawful evil and you basically convert to Banite on the spot (if you're a priest then your god fires you immediately and won't take you back); this is either 1e nonsense or a sign of Bane brainwashing you, and either is just as likely. -

He - in his own words - has an "ever-gnawing hunger for miracles and wonder". He also has 10 levels of wizard, which might tie into that. -

He seems to have a monster making hobby. There are so many monsters and monster variants that have been copyrighted by Bane it's ridiculous: banedead, baneguard, baneliches, banelar nagas... I'm pretty sure that Bane is actually credited with creating the beholders ("eye tyrants") of Toril, though I don't have the time to go looking for a source on that.

Either way; he has a lot of beholders in his service. -

I'm pretty sure I remember something about his inventing his own traps during his stay at Zhentil Keep, so there might be an engineering hobby in there somewhere. -

He's a nerd about human biology and geeks out about blood cells and neuroscience - not that he'd admit it because the idea of being thrilled by mortality terrifies him (also I think he just hates positive emotions in general). Before the Time of Troubles he used to enjoy possessing mortals as hosts instead of manifesting avatars, which would presumably allow him to experience what they did and geek out about it while pretending he wasn't (although he didn't look after them very well and inevitably ran them into the ground - basic human needs are beneath him). -

He seems to like using black and red lightning of some sort as a kind of signature. -

(...I think this guy would be very happy as a supervillain living in his secret lab somewhere, performing mad scientist experiments as he plots to take over the world.) -

His domain can be annoying to pin down, because technically it started off in the plane of Acheron, but he's also supposed to be rooming with Loviatar and Bhaal in the Barrens of Doom and Despair in Gehenna, so who knows! -

He has a pet raven called Koravis, who he has a mild telepathic connection with. This raven is actually a fiend in the shape of a raven, but that pretty much just means he has an evil pet raven.

It's been stated that in his mortal life his character class was Blackguard - or an evil paladin, in 5e terms, dedicated to the service of evil powers. I suspect his patron was his master, the primordial Maram, who he served as a battle slave. As the evil pet raven is a Blackguard class feature (fiendish servant) I suspect he had Koravis when he was mortal. The bird/fiend was likely given to him by Maram (much like a warlock's pact familiar comes from their patron) and I guess the bird stuck with the winner. -

He managed to piss off the earth goddess Chauntea at one point, trying to destroy her sacred pools/portals in the Moonshaes. I can't find the sourcebook for the details at the moment though (it was successful enough that his followers still have the moonveil spells though). Bhaal was also trying to kill her over there at some point, so I wonder if that's connected?

[slay00ryu]

ANOTHER REQUEST FROM SHADOWDOLLY!

I wanted to ask what if Ronin had a reader who picked their skin a lot due to anxiety, because i do that alot and i wanted to see how he would react

Devilish healing assistance.

You were doing it again.

Picking on the skin on your fingers, right next to your nails. It made the anxiety in your body keep away, well maybe because of how painful it was and what a bloody mess it could sometimes leave.

This time was no different, the skin around your nails was torn, there was blood coming out of those small wounds you made.

What made you so anxious? People. You were supposed to interview a few models today, but for fucks sake you didn't feel like dealing with that. Putting on a fake smile while you ask them some stupid questions, you hate it.

You were more keen on your writing, enjoying yourself while you wrote the most gruesome murders ever. It never gave you any unexpected waves of stress, panic attacks or anything like that.

Well, there is also one more... factor that made your life less stressful.

His name is Ronin, your muse, boyfriend and the most annoying guy you have ever met. Even with this lovely personality of his, he still managed to calm your anxiety down and make your day better with his jokes and flirty remarks.

Unfortunately for you, he was not here and could not stop you from tearing your skin off from your finger tips. So you could only pick on your skin, lick the blood off or use your shirt as a towel and look at the clock as the time for the interview was getting closer and closer.

"Gods, I hate this job." You whispered and looked at your shaking hands. Where they shaking from the stress, or from the pain? It was hard to say. Ether way it was getting on your nerves and didn't help your anxiety at all.

You were done with this interview, erasing this fake smile off of your face and leaning your back on the chair with a loud sigh.

"It's finally over." You whispered.

"Yeah, it is." A voice came from your door. You looked there in confusion.

"Ronin? Why the hell are you here?" You asked, you felt relieved to see him, but also ashamed because your hands looked like a mess.

"I came here to see my partner, and I can tell that I came at a good time." He approached you, in that 'I own this place' kind of way. He took your hand and examined it.

"We need to clean this and put a bandage on every finger, or you may get an infection and every finger goes chop-chop." He said with a wicked grin.

"I... Fine." You were obviously tired, all that stress could finally go away, all that anxiety you felt, but shame still stayed.

What does he think of you now? Does he think that the state of your hands is disgusting? Or that you are too weird? So many confusing thoughts were flooding your mind.

"Hey." His voice was what brought you back to reality.

He was cupping your cheek and leaning his forehead against yours. You were standing in the bathroom, in front of the mirror.

"i know what you're thinking. It's all written on your face." He said. 'i don't hate you for it, my hands looked so much worse when I was a teenager, trust me." He smirked. "Now let's take care of your hands sweetheart."

The Devil can't be ashamed of the sins he committed.

[deadlyflames]

This is a playlist I made for a fic I'm working on to explore an au post 3x09 where Klaus actually reacts to the MFG recruiting Mikael to try to kill him. And things go down hill for everyone from there.

This is definitely a dark (kinda toxic) version of Klonnie, but I like dark ships ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Let Me Crawl Inside Your Veins

I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME - Choke ~ "if I could burn this town, I wouldn't hesitate to smile while you suffocate and die"

MILCK - Devil Devil ~ "to think I would ever settle for that devious dance between you and me"

Scissor Sisters - I Can’t Decide ~ "I can't decide whether you should live or die"

Melanie Martinez - Tag, You’re It ~ "little bit of poison in me, I can taste your skin in my teeth"

Shinedown - I Own You ~ "strip down, show me flesh and bone, cause now I own you"

Nicole Dollanganger - Dog Teeth ~ "you draw blood just to taste it, you hold bones just to break them"

Depeche Mode - Corrupt ~ "you'd be calling out my name, begging me to play my games"

Florence + The Machine - Seven Devils ~ "I've come to burn your kingdom down, and no fires and no lakes can put the fire out"

Sickick - Mind Games ~ "once I grip onto your mind and soul your brightness starts to dim"

Ellise - Nightmares ~ "so sick of thinking of all the things you need from me, who you think that I should be"

I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME - Bleed Magic ~ "to drain you, and bleed your magic out"

Blood Red Shoes - God Complex ~ "you left me high and you left me dry, then you fed me to the wolves"

Shayfer James - Villainous Thing ~ "cause youre a villainous thing, and I don't think anyone knows"

Digital Daggers - The Devil Within ~ "I'm gonna make you suffer, this hell you put me in, I'm underneath your skin, the devil within"

Muse - Undisclosed Desires ~ "I want to satisfy the undisclosed desires in your heart"

Valerie Broussard - A Little Wicked ~ "to that king I will bow, at least for now; one of these days a-comin', I'm gonna take that boy's crown"

Miike Snow - Genghis Khan ~ "but you can't be free, cause I'm selfish, I'm obscene"

Blue Foundation - Eyes on Fire ~ "and I'm not scared of your stolen power, see right through you any hour"

Rosenfeld - I Want To ~ "your on my mind, been there all night, I've been missing seeing my midnight queen"

renforshort - mind games ~ "taking up my headspace, sleeping in your brain, I swear this boy is deadly, he loves these silly games"

Air Traffic Controler - This Is Love ~ "you could kill me and you should, I'm an idiot for thinking this was anything but blood"

BANKS - Beggin For Thread ~ "strapped down to something that you don't understand, don't know what you were getting yourself into"

Three Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You ~ "I hate everything about you, why do I love you?"

Halsey - Hold Me Down ~ "I sold my soul to a three-piece and he told me I was holy, he's got me down on both knees, but it's the devil that's tryna hold me down"

The Bravery - Hatef - - k ~ "I will show no mercy for you, you had no mercy for me, the only thing that I ask, love me mercilessly"

Florence + The Machine - Howl ~ "drag my teeth across your chest to taste your beating heart, my fingers claw your skin, try to tear my way in"

Troye Sivan - BITE ~ "you can coax the cold right out of me, drape me in your warmth"

Daughter - Landfill ~ "'cause this is torturous, electricity between both of us, and this is dangerous, 'cause I want you so much, but I hate your guts"

Super Pipo - I Wanna Be Your Slave ~ "I wanna make you quiet, I wanna make you nervous, I wanna set you free but I'm too fucking jealous"

girl in red - bad idea! ~ "you pushed me up against my wall, threw my clothes down on the floor, 'darling, are you ready for more?'"

Nine Inch Nails - Closer ~ "I wanna fuck you like an animal, my whole existence is flawed, you get me closer to God"

Halsey - Young God ~ "there's a light in the crack that's separating your thighs, and if you wanna go to heaven, you should fuck me tonight"

SIAMES - The Wolf ~ "out of my head, of my heart and my mind, 'cause I can feel how your flesh now is crying out for more"

Lana Del Ray - Once Upon a Dream ~ "yet I know it's true that visions are seldom all they seem, but if I know you, I know what you'll do, you'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream"

Dutch Melrose - RUNRUNRUN ~ "run for your life, gonna tear out your heart, it'll always be mine, oh, there she go losing my head, say you'll love me to death"

Melanie Martinez - Toxic ~ "with a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride, you're toxic, I'm slippin' under, with a taste of a poison paradise, I'm addicted to you, don't you know that you're toxic?"

Aesthetic Perfection - Big Bad Wolf ~ "because, my dear, you look so good, you're good enough to eat, I'll never let you, once I have sunk in my teeth into you"

AURORA - A Dangerous Thing ~ "something about you is soft like an angel, and something inside you is violence and danger, I knew from the moment we met, you are a dangerous thing"

Reignwolf - I Want You ~ "I get the feeling that you just don't understand, I'm crying wolf and I'll always be your man"

BANKS - Waiting Game ~ "what if the way we started made it something cursed from the start? what if it only gets colder? would you still wrap me up and tell me that you think this was smart?"

The Brobecks - If You Like It Or Not ~ "oh my girl, just give me a chance, I don't want to explain, I just want to dance on the graves, on the graves of every girl that I knew before you, they're all dead to me too"

Zella Day - Shadow Preachers ~ "I close my eyes, just close the door, you want a minute, I'll give you more, maybe I don't want you either, we're both unsettled, nighttime creatures"

Neon Trees - Your Surrender ~ "I got close to your skin while you were sleeping, I taste the salt on your hands, I reached out to touch you, the morning light disarms you, won't you let me in?"

Charli XCX - enemy ~ "you’re the only one who knows the way I’m really feelin’, now it’s really clear to me, you could do a little damage, you could cut me deeper, maybe you’re my enemy"

Sleeping At Last - Dark Horse ~ "So you wanna play with magic, girl you should know what youre falling for, baby do you dare to do this"

Billie Eilish - ocean eyes ~ "I'm scared, I've never fallen from quite this high, falling into your ocean eyes"

The Neighbourhood - A Little Death ~ "I want you to touch me there, make me feel like I'm breathing, feel like I'm human"

Of Monsters and Men - Silhouettes ~ "a thousand silhouettes dancing on my chest, no matter where I sleep, you are haunting me"

Hozier - NFWMB ~ "give your heart and soul to charity, 'cause the rest of you, the best of you, honey, belongs to me"

Melanie Martinez - Carousel ~ "and it's all fun and games 'til somebody falls in love, but you already bought a ticket and there's no turning back now"

Muse - I Belong to You ~ "How much pain has cracked your soul? How much love would make you whole? You're my guiding lightning strike"

Billie Eilish - hostage ~ "let me crawl inside your veins, I'll build a wall, give you a ball and chain, it's not like me to be so mean, you're all I wanted, just let me hold you like a hostage"

BOBI ANDONOV, Son Lux - Smoke - Son Lux Remix ~ "now you got me where you want me cause I'm on the ropes, baby, don't make me rush, 'cause I only wanna save you slow and breathe you in like smoke"

Taylor Swift - Wildest Dreams ~ "Nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down, he's so tall and handsome as hell, he's so bad, but he does it so well"

The Civil Wars - Poison and Wine ~ "oh, your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine, you think your dreams are the same as mine, oh, I don't love you, but I always will"

Stateless - Bloodstream ~ "I think I might've inhaled you, I could feel you behind my eyes, you've gotten into my bloodstream, I could feel you flowing in me"

Beyoncé - Crazy In Love - Remix ~ "it's the way that you know what I thought I knew, it's the beat that my heart skips when I'm with you, but I still don't understand just how your love can do what no one else can"

Måneskin - FOR YOUR LOVE ~ "I wanna be a good man and see you smile, and I wanna swim between your thighs, I wanna fuck you 'til you scream and cry, I wanna hold you in my arms tonight"

Florence + The Machine - Cosmic Love ~ "The stars, the moon, they have all been blown out, you've left me in the dark, no dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight in the shadow of your heart"

Fall Out Boy - The Last Of The Real Ones ~ "I am a collapsing star with tunnel vision, but only for you, my head is stripped just like a screw that’s been tightened too many times, when I think of you"

Paris Paloma - the fruits ~ "As you eat it up whole, my body and my blood, you've claimed it now, so come drink up"

Tamino - Persephone ~ "indeed, it's wrong to keep you near me, one could call me cruel and deceiving, but in your sacred air I am full of light, your loving arms are the true delight"

Halsey - Graveyard ~ "it's funny how the warning signs can feel like they're butterflies, 'cause I keep diggin' myself down deeper, I won't stop 'til I get where you are"

Tom Odell - Can’t Pretend ~ "oh, feel our bodies grow, and our souls they play, yeah love I hope you know how much my heart depends"

Lana Del Ray - Dark Paradise ~ "every time I close my eyes, it's like a dark paradise, no one compares to you, I'm scared that you won't be waiting on the other side"

Arctic Monkeys - R U Mine? ~ "satisfaction feels like a distant memory, and I can't help myself, all I wanna ever say is, 'Are you mine?'"

Avril Lavigne - I Fell In Love With The Devil ~ "got me playin' with fire, baby, hand me the lighter, tastes just like danger, chaotic anger"

Hozier - Sunlight ~ "I had been lost to you, sunlight, and flew like a moth to you, sunlight, oh, sunlight, oh, your love is sunlight"

Fleurie - Love and War ~ "broken pieces of the night, sing like hollow lullabies, you and I, always in disguises; lover, hunter, friend and enemy, you will always be every one of these"

Tamer - Beautiful Crime ~ "take what you need, say your goodbyes, I gave you everything and it's a beautiful crime"

The Crane Wives - Pretty Little Things ~ "but trust is now something I make people earn, so I'm not inclined to just give it away to a pair of blue eyes with some nice things to say"

alt-J - Breezeblocks ~ "please don't go, I'll eat you whole, I love you so, I love you so, I love you so"

Billie Eilish - Bored ~ "givin' you what you're beggin' for, givin' you what you say I need, I don't want any settled scores, I just want you to set me free"

Steve Lacy - Dark Red ~ "why I feel this way, I don't know, baby I think of her so much, it drives me crazy, I just don't want her to leave me"

Melanie Martinez - EVIL ~ "took me way too long to put this to bed, lovin' you was lethal, guess that makes me evil"

Set It Off - The Haunting ~ "no one will love you like I did, will touch you like I did, so good luck finding something better"

Olivia Rodrigo - Can’t Catch Me Now ~ "I'm in the trees, I'm in the breeze, my footsteps on the ground, you'll see my face in every place, but you can't catch me now"

Ramin Karimloo - You’ll Be Back ~ "when you're gone, I'll go mad, so don't throw away this thing we had, 'cause when push comes to shove, I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love"

Taylor Swift - my tears ricochet ~ "and I can go anywhere I want, anywhere I want, just not home, and you can aim for my heart, go for blood, but you would still miss me in your bones"

Arctic Monkeys - 505 ~ "when you look at me like that, my darlin', what did you expect? I'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck, or I did last time I checked"

Olivia Rodrigo - vampire ~ "I see the parties and the diamonds sometimes when I close my eyes, six months of torture you sold as some forbidden paradise, I loved you truly, gotta laugh at the stupidity"

Taylor Swift, Bon Iver - exile~ "we always walked a very thin line, you didn't even hear me out (you didn't even hear me out), you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)"

The Neighbourhood - Baby Came Home ~ "baby just came back around, told me she's leaving this town, said she needs time to explore, she said I can't love her no more"

Taylor Swift - Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve ~ "I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep, the wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign, I regret you all the time"

The xx - Fiction ~ "were we torn apart by the break of day? you're more than I can believe would ever come my way"

Paramore - Interlude: I’m Not Angry Anymore ~ "I'm not angry anymore, well, sometimes I am, I don't think badly of you, well, sometimes I do"

Black Math - Flesh and Bone ~ "this bleeding heart that's in my hands, I fell apart, I walk alone, beside myself, nowhere to go, my flesh and bone"

Penelope Scott - Feel Better ~ "of course I don't wanna feel better! can you fucking imagine?! no one's ever gonna love me like that again, I don't wanna get over it, I wanna rip the stars to shreds"

Coldplay - The Scientist ~ "come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry, you don't know how lovely you are, I had to find you, tell you I need you, tell you I set you apart"

Florence + The Machine - Shake It Out ~ "and it's hard to dance with the devil on your back, and given half the chance would I take any of it back? it's a fine romance, but it's left me so undone, it's always darkest before the dawn"

[akaikali]

TMAGP EP 27 REACTION (SPOILERS)

Istg my dumbass keeps forgetting when Thursdays are until @notachamealeon reminds me that a tmagp ep dropped

Sam is being bitchy akhskajd literally is this bc he's still feeling good about himself after him and Celia had GASP heterosexual intercourse???

Poor Gwen having to pick up the slack she really is trying her best I love my girl.

"I've got a SPECIAL list for her" hey Gwen that's kind of fucking gay of you-

OH ITS GRANDPA LOOK AT THAT GRANDPA IS BACK

...why is there no explanation? Like why is there nothing about what this is related to, like a prelude or introduction? Augustus just...started talking??

"Than to light within them that muses' fire of inspiration" it might just be a metaphor but whenever the older cases related to the institute or the experiment bring up fire, I become a bit wary

Okay so the institute in the universe seems to be founded for the sake these alchemic experiments as opposed to Jonah Magnus creating it to serve The Eye in TMAverse

Just for anyone that wants to know, Chartism was a working-class movement for political reform in the UK during the 1830s to 1850s. That's what the second journal entry is referencing

Okay the single coachman reminds of one of Jonah Magnus's livers in his regency era harem who got fucked over by a Lukas, I think it was something about the coachman entirely turning his head 180 degrees to face backwards the entire drive or something.

Oh okay so coachman is part of the coach. Lovely.

Okay so we're focusing on the growler? And I think it's because the coachman and the coach attachment is probably due to alchemy of some sort?

Oh great. The cab ate the man. Wonderful.

BOYLE???? AS IN ROBERT BOYLE???? Wait no can't be him he died in the 1600s I remember that from AP Chemistry

Oh my god he convinced his own colleague to go into the growler dude this is giving Jonah Magnus it REALLY is

WAIT. SHUT THE FUCK UP. "operated by me status as founder" SHUT THE FUCK UP I JUST SAID ITS GIVING JONAH MAGNUS

APOLLO REALLY FUCKING HOT ME WITH THE GIFT OF PROPHECY WHAT THE FUCK

Alice my wife hating prime ministers is just So Real also with how viciously she hates the prime minister I would have thought my girl was Desi too since I hate India's prime mini-

I'm gonna shut up

TRANS CONFIRMATION I MEAN WE KNEW BUT YESSSS ALICE CANONICALLY TRANS

Dyhard is SO endgame LOOK AT THEM

"Magnus guy" SHUT THE FUCK UP NO WAY OH my GOD

What is happening. Someone please come pick me up I'm scared why are we talking about sex

Oh Sam. I think it's kind of obvious that Celia does find this like a casual relationship. Kind of like "well if it goes well, it goes well. If not, whatever" He's definitely taking it more seriously than her.

I do also think she's kinda lying when she says Jack's her only first priority bc it's very clear the Magnus stuff is very much a priority too

HILLTOP CENTRE???? RIGHT THATS WHERE THE OUTREACH CENTRE WAS

And also oh god Alice being here is gonna make things awkward isn't it.

MORE MAGNUSSING

Celia is really trying to find the Archivist that she knows but I don't think she's going to get that, not in this universe at least.

Alice joining the scooby doo gang! All we need is Gwen and we got the full team!

Edit: HOW DID I MISS THAT TREVOR FUCKING HERBERT IS THE PRIME MINISTER OH MY GOD

[cskv11]

No art request but do you have any head cannons for bill??🤨

Ey yo why you makin that face? Is this some kind of interrogation??

Personally, I'm not a very headcanon kind of guy, more than anything cause I like to be able to see the author's vision, but more importantly, to avoid disappointments. Although this does not stop me from having a couple of headcanons:

First of all, I believe Bill had a much deeper thing going on with Ford, more than we were lent to in the show and the journal.

like- this "Oh my Muse" kind of thing is much freakier than just a nickname, these two nerds did way more than just a portal, if you know what I mean.

On the same matter, I think that, though at some point their relationship might've been kind of genuine, Bill saw Ford the same way a person sees their dog: someone who swears unconditional loyalty to their god/owner.

While this kind of bond does leave space for love and affection, there's this clearly marked boundary, a jeriarchy that states that one of the counterparts has a higher, a more elevated position in the relationship.

This same thing makes me assume, too, that Bill had felt betrayed as much as Ford did. Not because Ford did something wrong or deserved it (this poor soul had sacrificed everything he had, he isolated himself from everyone he knew just because he thought Bill was on the right; heck, even after scarring Fiddleford FOR LIFE, instead of apologizing or trying to help him, he was so gaslit from Bill poisonous words he thought Fiddleford was trying to sabotage his work) but because Bill's egotistical and narcissistic ass believed someone as naive as Ford was not capable of such thing. When Ford finally opens his eyes and gives his back to Bill, the dude is completely bamboozled. He did NOT expect Ford to drastically decide they were no longer friends. Bill expected Ford to say "Fuck it, we ball" and finish the portal once and for all. Bill thought Ford would be loyal to him no matter how bad the sittuation could get.

What would Bill do once he got through the portal? I don't think he'd kill him right away; he'd toy with Ford for a bit, til he got tired of it, and then would finish him off, just for fun.

As of Bill's backstory, I do think he used to have a brother. And for whatever reason, this same thing is the leading one for him to have become the wacky dude we know him for. Maybe his brother died/ got killed, which made Bill go apeshit, or maybe he hated his brother so much he was the one who killed him. Alex Hirsch did say Bill had a worse relationship with his father than Stanley did. Maybe what happened with Bill was a Stanley/Stanford dynamic, but multiplied by a hundred.

Say, he was his brother's shadow, and in an outburst of anger, he killed him, thought of the consequences of his parents seeing that scene and said "fuck it, no witnesses", took a gas can and burnt the whole family down.

This, too, comes related to what the axolotl said: "saw his own dimension brun. Misses home and can't return".

Additionally, the "says he's happy; he's a liar" verse and Bill's own "lie until you aren't liying; lie until the lie has become the truth" advice makes me strongly believe the dude has gaslit himself from the horrors he's commited so much he does actually believe his lies. He could tell you the sky is pink, and he would honestly believe it. And don't even try arguing with him about it, he will find a way of justifying why the sky is, in fact, pink.

Though it would be an interesting journey to redeem this guy, I would really love for him to continue being this horrible dude he is.

I don't know what The Book of Bill will be about, but if we're given more of bits about his origins, it would be amazing. But not go on full detail about it, cause one of the determining traits this dude has is being a mystery. And if they do end up telling something about his backstory, let it be some ironic and absolutely unserious tale; make the audience guess where's the lie and where's the truth.

Does this suffice your question, anon??? 🤨🤨🤨

Is there something else you're craving to ask? I have no trouble in answering haha

Also- I apologize for not posting much, there's a lot of funny requests i wanna draw but it's kind of impossible for me to do much right now. I've got lots of exams and so very little free time, BUT i'll try making something for this next weekend!! :)