#god i feel so many things about her she is one of my favorite ocs

[maxilgal]

I am thinking about my fantasy novel again and the main characters relationship with her mentor. She is small and weak and scared and doesn't know anybody. He was lied to by his government, as all young men are, and paid for it with his body. He is bitter and lonely and on a whim chooses her to be his apprentice.

He tries to teach her the lessons he learned: the world is cruel, people are cruel, there is no changing this. She tells him the lessons she learned from her family, and he wonders what kind of bleeding heart monks she grew up with. She refuses to learn his lessons, even after everything she's gone through. Despite everything, he begins to believe her when she says there is hope and goodness in the world.

He sees potential. He trains her. She grows big and strong and a better warrior than any soldier he's seen before.

And he is taught again that the world and the people in it are cruel. Cruel to him. Cruel to her. He abandons her, preferring seclusion, trying once and for all to teach her the ways of the world. And still she refuses to learn it

[formylovetodaryldixon]

"Like gravity." Daryl Dixon Imagine.

@fluffy-dixon: Okay, so this is my request. Maybe prison era? Daryl and OC became quite close during their time at the Quary as she was one of the only people (obvs minus Carol) that checked in on him, spoke to him, spent time with him etc and actually cared about him. She was a bit of an outcast as well. But when they get to the prison they have a little bit more time to settle down and actually become a thing, daryl is utterly in love with her but is too afraid to say but he takes her out hunting and while they're hunting he comes accross some rabbits that he wants to kill for food but she won't let him because she used to keep rabbits herself and the thought of it broke her heart but he let's it slip that he loves her because he says something along the lines of, 'god damnit woman, if I didn't love you so much they'd be cooking in a stew' or something like that. Take of it as you will but yeah ❤️

Hi, love! You are my first request and it was soooo sweet I loved writing it! I really, really hope this comes a little closer to what you had in mind. If not, I'm sorry :c But thank you so much♥

A/N: I laughed a little writing Merle even though he's also an idiot haha ​​but spoiler alert: Merle telling Daryl that he should marry you or fuck you or both made me laugh. I borrowed a scene from Carol and Daryl too hehe. Hope you like this!

When a woman is in love, you can see it in her smile. When a man is in love, you can see in his eyes.

Daryl’s eyes, they spoke so loudly the words he was so afraid to say. And now, they can’t hide that sparkle of hope every time he sees you. But if you could ask him when he started looking at you differently, he would tell you it was the first time you sat down next to the bonfire he and his brother made, too overwhelmed to be around so many people in the camp outside the city.

It happens the moment it starts raining pretty heavily, with Merle cursing the sky before locking himself in his tent. That was the first time Daryl heard your laugh since he met you: a sweet, innocent sound full of colors in that grey world. For a minute, you’re too immersed in your own happiness looking up, a hand outstretched to feel the raindrops. But the moment you look back at Daryl, he shifts his gaze to the arrow he was carving with his knife, because the way you looked at him was almost overwhelming for Daryl, so deep as that color of your gaze.

You were a sweet thing to look at, but the more you talked with each other, the more he saw different facets of you.

The first time you actually talked, you told him to fuck off, and Daryl could say that was one of his favorite moments with you. It happens when he comes back from hunting, with some squirrels in his bag, and he sees you a little bit far from the main group, pulling a pack of cigarettes from your black jeans.

You don’t notice that he is looking at you, with a confused expression but with a deep gaze, as if you were the most difficult puzzle to put together. Daryl never liked riddles, those mind games, and you looked exactly like them, too difficult to understand at first glance.

He approaches you.

“Care to share?” Daryl asks when he stops next to you, so you give the package to him. “M’ Daryl, by the way.”

“(Y/N).” You say, simply.

Daryl can’t help but scoff as he lights a cigarette, because it was his nature to repel anything that seemed soft, tender, weak in his eyes, almost like your name.

“That’s a princess name, y'know?”

However, to his own surprise, you chuckle.

“Fuck you, Daryl. I didn’t ask for your opinion on my name.”

But your voice full of boldness telling him fuck you makes him chuckle too: a low, masculine sound, but transparent as Daryl pushes the smoke away before looking at you.

“What's on the menu tonight?” He nods towards the group.

You take the cigarette from your lips, pushing the smoke out before talking, too.

“Canned beans, just like yesterday and probably tomorrow and for the rest of our lives.”

As you look straight ahead, analyzing always the situation you’re in, Daryl watches you, taking in everything: at first sight, there is this fierceness in your gaze but that seemed to be compassionate too, with a free attitude but that seemed to analyze everything. You seem to be a rebellious soul, almost as lost as he was.

“Have ya ever tried squirrels?” Daryl asks softly, kind of awkward. You look at him, shaking your head. “M’ cookin’ ‘em if ya wanna join us.”

He starts walking towards his own camp when you talk again.

“You don’t hunt rabbits, do you?”

Daryl turns around, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“Why?”

It was stupid, you know it, so you just shake your head.

“It's nothing. I think I'll accept your invitation, so thank you.”

Too confused, Daryl nods before walking again so he misses the way you look at him this time. You can notice the beautiful color of his eyes behind that mocking, condescending expression on his almost stupid but very attractive face. A few strands of his hair, dark blonde or almost brown, fell over his forehead, framing that deep but accusatory look he had for everybody. His shoulders are broad, and although he didn’t look like a person who flaunted himself, his sleeveless shirt doesn’t leave much to the imagination when you can see the muscles in his arms. It was the end of the world, the beginning of a new one, but that didn't mean you had gone blind.

However, the next thing that happens with Merle, must have given Daryl some clue as to the feelings he would develop for you in the near future, because the moment you reach his camp that night, Merle is alone.

“Well, well, ain’t ya a beauty?” Merle smiles and looks at you up and down, practically eating you up with his eyes. “Ma baby brotha said he invited ya but I didn’t think ya would come to him, not when m’ the good–lookin’ one.” He comes closer, slowly and dangerously. “Ya got a name, darlin’?”

“(Y/N).” The women and men in the camp warned you about Merle Dixon, but you manage to smile at him, playing with fire even when you knew you could get hurt. “Don’t tell this to Daryl but you are the good–looking one.”

He smiles, he just can’t help it, wildly like a predator when the animal knew in its gills that it was about to capture the prey.

“Ya really look like a refined woman, darlin’, If I feed ya squirrels too, would ya moan ma name at the end of the night? I promise I’ll make ya beg for more.”

You raise an eyebrow, looking at him, but before you can answer back, Daryl walks back from the woods.

“Merle, for once in yer life, shut the fuck up.”

However, Merle finds that even extra funny, and he keeps walking towards you. But you know well that the first to look away in the staring game loses, so you, without any fear in your eyes, wait until Merle is close enough, and at that moment, you catch the handle of the gun that was hidden at the back of your waist, under your black cardigan, and you press it to Daryl’s asshole brother’s chin.

Merle holds his breath, unlike his baby brother who finds the situation strangely attractive, and kind of hot too.

“I’m begging you now, Merle, please repeat everything you just said. I promise you that before you finish saying the last word, you will run out of a mouth and jaw to say it.”

He swallows the lump in his throat, because he was an idiot, yes, but even Merle Dixon knew when to back off at the threat of a bullet, which came from a person who really seemed determined to do it.

“I was jus’ kiddin’ with ya, sweetheart.” He tries to laugh, but his smile trembles at the cold of the gun. “Ya wouldn’t do that to yer new friend Merle.”

You chuckle, pulling it away.

“I am normally a sweetheart, Merle, but I am also the person capable of sinking the fucking ship with myself inside just so that no one is saved. You know what I mean by that?”

He nods, clearing his throat so his words wouldn’t break off mid–sentence.

“Guess yer ma brotha’s new friend?”

You look back at Daryl, who is looking at you with a frown (something normal now for you), but also with an amused expression.

Then, you look back at Merle.

“Something like that.”

“Well… welcome to our lovely home, darlin’!” He smiles, after taking a silent deep breath of relief, and he looks at his brother. “You got to fuck or marry this woman, baby brotha, or both. Condoms are on ma tent!”

He laughs walking to the woods, and that was disgusting and it makes you wonder, where the hell did you got yourself into?

But things from there, were like a roller–coaster going only up. You and Daryl were like an unlikely duo, but maybe that was why you both looked good together. Despite the danger, you two found a new world in which you wanted to continue living, delving into the unknown that was falling in love.

The moment the family you made reached the prison, that gave you two a safe place to, start a thing, you could say.

During one of the first months and when your sleeping world turned red like bright blood, you come out to see the stars from the front of the prison. So you sit there, in an old desk, with your legs falling from the edge and a dead feeling in the depths of your soul.

From afar, Daryl watches you with a cigarette in between his lips. By that moment, Daryl already knew what name to give to his feelings for you, but although he was an brave hunter, he was also too shy to accept that revelation. However, it was the way your eyes used to look at everything that caught him from the beginning: always with attention, always thinking what was best for your safety and what would keep you alive. But also the way your gaze seemed to rest from that life, from pain and fear, and then all that force disappeared when you used to look for something better, something meaningful.

Like gravity, you became the person who kept him standing on the ground.

Daryl blows out the smoke from his cigarette, watching you as he walks towards you. What you were caught him in a way that should never have happened. But your strongest side and your weakest one, the good and the bad that could be in you: he found himself looking in your direction all the time since he met you, always aware of where you were inside and outside the prison, always stuck to you like a lost puppy as Carol used to say.

“Hey…” He says softly, in a deep, hoarse voice as he sits next to you. “Shouldn’t ya be sleepin’?”

You smile gently at him, enough to brighten your eyes.

“Shouldn’t you?”

And there it was, the way you sounded like a worried girlfriend. Fuck, Daryl loved that, Daryl loved you. But there he was: feeling too much for you, or maybe feeling too little for a life that deserved to be lived to the end.

“I don’ sleep.”

You look at him with a curiosity expression.

“You dream too much?” You ask. Daryl frowns at you, not because he is upset, but confused that you knew exactly the reason behind his sleepless nights. “When I was a baby and I couldn’t sleep, my mom used to caress my hair so softly that I felt sleepy quickly. Do you want me to do that to you?”

You are joking, kind of, but you know your words would only make him shy as he scoffs.

“I ain’t a fuckin’ baby.”

You chuckle.

“Fuck you, Dixon. I was just trying to be nice.”

However, Daryl looks at you with a frown, and an almost exasperated expression.

“Woman, almost every day ya curse at me. I dunno how I let ya kiss me with that mouth.”

His words make you laugh, and Daryl would be lying if he said that wasn't his favorite sound in the whole world.

“I do that because you deserve it.” You chuckle, taking the cigarette from his fingers to take a blow, looking at the stars as an idea came to your mind. “Now that we are awake, you wanna screw around while everyone is asleep?”

You try to hold back your laughter as he looks back at you, thanking the night that you didn't see his ears starting to turn red at your bluntness. 

“Ya could ask me nicely. Y’know?” 

You roll your eyes as you jump out of the desk, walking back to the door.

“Fine. If you are not in the mood, I will go back to sleep. Goodnight.”

The painful truth revealed in front of Daryl’s eyes, and it was more frightening than being near death, but more exciting than… Daryl couldn’t compare that feeling with anything else, because he never loved anyone until you came along.

But as Daryl walks towards you, he can’t say it, not yet.

“Fuck, wait. I ain’t sayin’ no.”

But what a great feeling that pressure on his chest was. It was sweet and kind of terrifying at the same time, so real and unreal at the same time. It was like a dream where he could feel everything, but wanting to stay in that place if it meant living there with you.

The next day after everyone received their assignments, Daryl took you hunting with him: that was his silent way of saying he wanted to be alone with you. He was always a quiet person, but while been there with you, Daryl asked you question after question because he wanted to hear long answers, to know more and more about you.

“Ya got a favorite color?” He asks, walking side to side with you, attentive to your words but also to everything around, crossbow in hand to catch the day's food.

“Well…” You bite your lips as you chuckle. You never had a favorite color before, but the night he invited you to eat with him, it seemed like that blank space was always reserved for the color of his eyes. “Blue, I guess. You?”

Strangely, Daryl wanted to say the same thing about your eyes, but when a sound in the bushes catches his attention, he asks you to be quiet as he walks in front of you. His steps are light, but you stay close the moment Daryl pushes the branches aside.

Two little white rabbits froze there, too terrified to move.

“I got us the food.” He says, raising his crossbow.

It takes you a single second, and you know it is wrong, but sometimes feelings are stronger than good judgment.

“No, wait!” You stop him before he shot them, making him turn to you. “Please, don’t. Just, fuck…” You curse under your breath, feeling like a little girl again. “The night you invited me to eat those squirrels, I asked you if you hunted rabbits, remember?” He nods. “I didn’t say this before but before my mom died, she gave me a rabbit that I raised as my son for many years.” You shake your head, feeling a little silly. “Please, don’t kill them. I’m begging you.”

Daryl can see the prayer in your gaze, in those shy eyes that most of the time used to be full of life, always glowing when you used to say things just to make him nervous. So finally, Daryl lowers his crossbow, looking at the rabbits before looking back at you.

“God dammit, woman, if I didn't love ya so much they'd be cookin' in a stew.” He freezes for a second, listening clearly to his heartbeat as he walks away, but Daryl has to clear his throat so his voice wouldn’t break off mid–sentence. “Let's go over there and see if we can get some squirrels instead.”

You smile to yourself as you start following him.

You knew well you could die tomorrow, or the day after that, and although you were afraid your dead could be painful, it could be quick too and then you would die in the middle of a breath, with an incomplete phrase that you will never be able to finish. And you didn’t want that, you wanted to be honest with yourself, you wanted to say what was in my mind and not let your thoughts die If something happened to you at any time.

You wanted to say I love you too aloud. And that night, as you stroked his hair, again, (because he secretly loved it just like he loved you) you said those words to him.

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Jealousy, Jealousy... | Part 1

A/N: don't even have a summary for this. oc is in love with gyu and gyu is in love with another girl but both are virgin losers and gyu is a horndog who would let oc do what she wants to him just as long as he gets to cum.

Not proofread.

"Can I touch your cock?"

"What?" He chokes on his drink, some of it even coming out of his nose, and you pull a disgusted face. Really? Is this the guy you like? You need higher standards. 

Still, you like him, drink squirting and all. You shrug, looking down at your own drink and fiddling with it nervously. "Just wanna know what a cock feels like. It’s no big deal." You bluff, hiding behind your inexperience that he knows about all too well.

Beomgyu is quiet for a while, and you start manifesting for the couch you’re sitting on to devour you whole. But finally he speaks up.

"Okay.” He says, and your head snaps up to look at him in disbelief. “If I can touch your pussy too."

You sneer at him as if you hadn’t literally asked him the same thing. "What? No. Pervert!"

"But you just--"

"Forget it." Truth is you were self-conscious about what he’d think if he saw your body. You didn't look like those onlyfans girls you’ve caught him watching many times. What if he finds your pussy weird-looking? God, you would never live that down. 

"No, wait, okay, okay." He quickly backtracks, dropping his demand. His eagerness would be laughable if you weren’t just as eager yourself. “You can touch me.” 

“Woah, what are you doing?” You cover your eyes with your hands when you see him pull down on his pants. 

“Taking my cock out? You know, so you can touch me?” 

“Not so fast, idiot. Let’s take it slow.” 

He gives you a dumb look. “Slow how? Like kissing?” 

Your cheeks flush at the thought, having imagined exactly that too many times, just Beomgyu pulling you into a heated kiss and maybe confessing his undying love for you, and how he’s only been acting so clueless and stupid to hide his true feelings for you…

No, you definitely should not be kissing. 

“Forget it. Pull down your pants.” You tell him and he happily obliges, his cock springing out of his pants and smacking against his hoodie, leaving a tiny wet stain on it. 

“Well, don’t just stare at it.” He whines when you take too long to make a move, grabbing your hand and moving it to wrap around his cock, moaning out at his own movements. 

“Wow, it’s so soft.” You marvel as he moves your hand up and down his shaft, his skin gliding smoothly under your palm. 

"Mmm hmmm." He hums and you look up to see him staring straight at you. 

"Stop staring at me, you freak." You blush, feeling scrutinized. This was already so nerve-racking for you, you didn’t need him watching you like that. 

“Come on, jerk me off properly. I’m doing all the work here.” He whines, pressing down on your hand to make you grab him tighter. 

You roll your eyes. He’s such a brat. “Fine.” You smack his hand off and hold him firmly in your grip, trying to imitate the movements of your favorite internet dom and how she gets her sub to go crazy for her. And Beomgyu would be such a cute sub, and he’d make such pretty noises that you definitely didn’t spend your nights fantasizing about with your hand down your pants. 

But he’s exceeding even your filthiest fantasies with the moans he’s letting out. He’s so loud and whiny, it’s going straight to your pussy and drenching your underwear.  

In an effort to still come out the one in control, you tease him. “How are you so hard already?”

But it’s not effective on Beomgyu. Not when he never had any sense of shame to begin with. “Of course, I’m hard. You’re jerking me off. I’ve been dreaming about this since I was thirteen.” 

“You have?” Your pace falters. Is this it? Is this how he confesses to you? Sure, it’s not the most romantic setting but you’ll take it. 

“Of course. You know I’ve been trying to get any kind of action for years. Thank you so much. You’re the best.” He babbles, throwing his head back and thrusting up in your hand. You’re glad he did that so he wouldn’t see the absolutely heartbroken look on your face. You’re so stupid. He just wanted someone to touch his crusty dick. 

Okay, that’s a lie. He actually has a really pretty dick which is so unfair. You wish it was veiny and gross and standing weird. Maybe then you would’ve gotten over your apparently hopeless crush on him. 

"Fuck, you’re really touching my cock." He whimpers, staring at the way his cock is thrusting into your hand, too lost in the pleasure of it to notice your sour mood. “It feels so good.”

“I know. I can see the way you’ve gone all brain-dead just from a few strokes. I don’t even have to do much when you’re practically humping my hand. Are you that desperate?” You talk down to him, needing to release your bitterness somehow, but it only spurs Beomgyu on further. 

He nods, jaw hanging open and a little drool dribbling out of the corner of his mouth as he stares at you, heavy-lidded. “God, you’re so dirty and mean. I didn’t even know I’m into that.” He groans. 

No, what he’s into is cute, feminine girls dressed in skimpy little sundresses whimpering and crying as they get railed by big cocks. It’s why you’ve tried dressing all girly before he pointed out the change in your style and made fun of you for it. You know he didn’t mean it maliciously. It’s just what best friends do, make fun of each other over the stupidest things. But it sure guaranteed you’d never dress like that again. 

"Can I cum?" 

"Oh, you’re asking permission?" You laugh, happy to at least be having an effect on the man you're in love with, even if it’s just because he’s a desperate perv. "Guess whenever I need to put you in line I should just put my hand down your pants."

"Yes, please." 

You giggle. Well if you can’t have him, at least you’ll have this. 

“You can cum, gyu.” 

“Oh, thank you. Thank you!” He moans, and you point his cock towards his hoodie so he’d cum all over it. Just a little petty revenge on him. Not that he even cares, if the dopey smile on his face is any indication. 

“Thank you.” 

“You’ve said that already, idiot.” You wipe your hand on his hoodie, soiling it further. 

“I mean it.”He sits up from his slumped position and grabs your hand as you pull it away. “Let me make it up to you. Let me eat you out.” 

You frown at him and yank your hand away. “You just wanna know what pussy tastes like.” 

“So? It’s a win-win.” He scrambles to the ground and slots himself between your legs, resting his head on your thighs and peering up at you cutely. “Please.” 

You feel one of his thumb swipe under the leg of your shorts and you kick him away. “No!”

But he grabs your leg and whines. “Why?”

“I’m saving it for someone I love.” You admit shyly and he has the audacity to retort, “You know I love you.” 

“I know.” You sigh, “But not that way… right?” 

“Right.” He admits, finally letting you go and you just want to crawl into yourself and cease to exist. It all hurts too bad. You don’t know why you’re doing this to yourself when he clearly will never feel the same way about you. You really should forget all about this. It’s a mistake. A moment of weakness. That’s all it is.

_______________________________

But you can’t hold on to your convictions when he’s drooling over her like that. 

“Seriously, Beomgyu, we’re in the middle of studying.” 

He snaps his open mouth shut. “What? I’m not doing anything.” He says defensively and you roll your eyes, reaching up to swipe the drool off the corner of his lips. 

“You’re staring at her as if you wanna take her right here inside the library.” You retort, hiding the pain from your voice well.

“So what if I do? She’s so sexy. I could just rip that tight, pink dress off her body. It’s barely even covering it. I can practically see her–oh!” His horny tirade cuts off into a gasp as you grab him through his pants. 

“What are you doing?” He looks at you, panicked, but his hips still buck up into your hand. He’s such a horndog. 

“Keeping you from jumping her in the middle of a public place.” You sneer, though in reality you just can’t bear him talking about her any longer. 

“What about you jerking me off in the middle of a public place?” He counters back and you flush at being called out, moving to pull your hand away but he stops you, his large hand encompassing yours and pressing it against his bulge just like he did that first time. 

“Did I mention that I’m totally fine with that?” He asks and you let out a sigh of relief. You can’t handle being rejected by him now. This is the only thing you have going for you–that you’re the only girl getting him off. If he doesn’t want it anymore then you’ve got nothing. 

Luckily though, getting his dick touched is still very effective at getting him to stop obsessing over her and just focus on you. 

“Go faster.” He prompts, but you don’t give him what he wants that easily. You gotta make him work for it so you don’t feel like you’re that easy. 

“I will if you can answer this question.” You point to the next question in the quiz you were solving and he groans. “Who cares? Just need you.” He whines, knowing how weak you are for his puppy dog eyes, but unbeknownst to him, you’re too wounded by his flagrant drooling over another woman for this to work now. 

“I care. So either you be good and answer or you don’t get to cum today.” 

“You’re so cruel.” He whines, but casts his eyes to the paper, making an effort to figure out the answer, his brows furrowing and his lips pulling in a pout as his pretty brain works overtime to answer the question you wanted. 

God, he’s so pretty. And you’re so screwed. 

____________________________

“Look, baby, look what I got!” Beomgyu yells, shoving a piece of paper into your face enthusiastically. The writing is swimming in front of your eyes and you’re finding it so hard to focus when he is calling you that–baby–something he’d gotten into the habit of saying since you began messing with him. 

Luckily, he’s kind enough to tell you what you’re looking at. “I got an A! I never thought I’d get an A in my life, and it’s all thanks to you!” He squeals, gathering you into his arms and smothering you with a passionate kiss that you’re too weak to resist, getting lost in his soft lips. His soft, sweet lips that you’ve been dreaming about for years–his pouty, full lips that you’ve had to hold yourself back from kissing every time he’d pout–his perfect lips that you promised yourself you’d never kiss because you knew it would be game over for you. 

Dam it, Beomgyu!

You shove him away. “I said no kissing!” You bark and he cowers like a scolded dog. “But I did so well. Thought I deserved a reward, and you’re just so kissable.” He tries to get another kiss but you’re prepared for him now. 

“Don’t say things like that.” You hiss way too sharply and he winces. “Why not?”

“I don’t like it.” You tell him and he frowns. “You’re not my boyfriend.”

He scoffs. “I know that.” 

“We’re just fuck buddies.” 

“Not even that.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you don’t even let me fuck you. How can we be fuck buddies if you’re freaking out over me just kissing you? You’re treating me like a glorified dildo. Why can’t I touch you too?” 

You can’t answer that truthfully or you’ll ruin everything, so you deflect. “If you don’t like it then we can stop. I don’t need this. I can easily find another guy to play with. One who wouldn’t whine about getting free handjobs.” 

He gives you a betrayed look, but quickly collects himself. “Fine. You do that. I don’t care.” 

“Fine.” 

“Fine!” He huffs, storming off and leaving his graded paper behind. You grab it, your chest filling with a sense of pride you can’t keep at bay. You did this. You helped him get an A. And he was so happy about it too. He was so happy he kissed you. It was everything you wanted, which is exactly why you had to stop it. 

Yes, it hurts now, but it would’ve hurt a million times more if you let yourself get carried away with it. It’s better to stop it now before it’s too late for you. 

_____________________________

A/N: whoever has ideas for future scenes let me know, preferably non-smut scenes because at this point the story is entirely smut lmao

[olenvasynyt]

For @elainweekofficial Day 4: Seen & Unseen — Elain with Jesminda

Here’s Elain basking in the sun with my version of Jesminda from my fanfic A Court of Embers and Sunlight. I have to insert Jes into everything but UGH I can’t help it I love her so much. One of my favorite things to see in Elucien fics or Gen Elain fics is when Elain gets visions of Jesminda from the past, or she sees and speaks with her spirit. So I felt inspired to draw that for this prompt.

And now a ramble about me gushing over these two girls:

I have so many headcanons for Jes that she’s basically become my OC, and I did accidentally incorporate Elucien because I think that symbolism is important for Elucien’s journey. Lucien thought that Elain is “nothing like Jesminda” when he officially met her, and I think their new mating bond brought back a lot of complicated feelings like guilt. But I do have headcanons that she is similar to my version of Jes: they are both connected to nature and sunlight. They love to garden but can feel confined because of the pressures and assumptions that are put on them, though Jesminda as a lesser fae has had less opportunities in that regard. They’re both filled with hope and joy and Lucien brings that out for both of them. They both would love to travel and see the world. Jesminda is very lively, social, and wild, and Elain might not be the same as she was when she was younger, but she does love balls and parties so I can see Elain growing back into that social life and Lucien seeing glimpses of Jesminda… Also the name Jesminder can mean many things including Jasmine, God’s Gift, and Queen of Flowers. And all of these scream Elain too and I think that’s such an interesting connection. I think their opposing symbolism is so perfect too: Spring and Autumn, Life and Death, Ends and Beginnings.

I love these girls so much 🌷🌻

dividers are also by me :)

[naughtyneganjdm]

Christmas in Jackson - Chapter 3

Summary: Realizing that her visit to Jackson has only enhanced the feeling of being lonely for Y/N, she takes a walk around the town to get a feel for everything before considering leaving. On the way back to the inn she decides to take Maria's suggestion and visit The Tipsy Bison where she runs into Joel. The two of them grow closer in unexpected ways.

Characters: Joel Miller, the reader (OC), etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61159651/chapters/156927493

Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Dirty Talk, First Kiss, Heavy Touching, Making Out, a slight amount of fluff, etc.

Notes: This is presently my favorite story of mine that I'm updating, so I'm going to try and get as much of it up as I can before Christmas. I surprisingly really like writing Joel which is fun since this is my first solo story that I've ever written with him. Thanks to those that check it out. If you want to read previous chapters, you can find them here.

Even though it was nice getting to rest and not have to worry about the everyday stresses that Y/N had become accustomed to, it felt like the only positive thing that Y/N had accomplished in coming to Jackson was getting a good night’s sleep. Other than that? She was only able to confirm just how unbelievably lonely she was.

Sitting alone in that restaurant brought forth so many uncomfortable feelings for her. Eating alone in New York City? Yeah, she was lonely, but she didn’t feel strange being alone. Here? Everyone’s eyes were on her. That made the loneliness that she had grown used to stronger. Here she stood out and she didn’t know if that was a good thing.

After finishing her breakfast, which was entirely too big, she had her leftovers boxed up. While everything was good, there was just way too much there. So she headed back to the inn to put her takeaway box into the small refrigerator in her room for later.

Returning to the inn, she realized that there weren’t as many people there. It made her wonder if the place was just busier in the mornings and nights considering the kind of draw this place had. Walking through the inn, she took note of the people that were there. Groups. People who knew each other. And then there was her. The one solo person in this place. Everyone seemed to have someone to talk to. Everyone but her that was.

Joel and Maria had caught her eye when she had returned. They were both working, but she knew better than to keep bothering the owners of this place. All of them had better things to do than to keep helping her distract herself. She already felt pathetic enough as it was that the only people she had interacted with were those that owned the inn that she was staying at.

God, one of the biggest things she learned from this trip? Traveling alone sucked. It was hard not to feel awkward or out of place when you were all alone. Sharing memories with people was much nicer than doing everything by yourself.

Disappearing into her suite, she put her leftovers away and then considered what to do with her time. What she really should have done was learn more about this town so she wasn’t aimlessly roaming around. Instead? She just decided to take a walk around the inn. Doing what Maria suggested earlier, she took her time looking over things. Learning about the place that she was staying in. Even though this was an inn, from everything they had inside of it, it felt more like a museum. There was so much to learn about the history that took place here. Really? She would have never traveled to a place like this. Nor would she have picked to stay somewhere like The Copper Peak Inn. But? Fate chose this for her. Truthfully? She did wonder if fate hated her. It’s not that she despised this place or anything. It had it’s certain kind of charm, but she didn’t feel like she fit in here. And everything seemed to remind her of that.

Embarrassingly, she walked around the inn more times than she really should have. She read many of the write ups on the wall at least twice. She was pretty confident if they asked her to give tours of the place, she would be able to educate people with confidence about the history of this inn. And she’d do it well.

That’s how boring her day was. Or maybe that’s how uninteresting and how unexciting she was. Spending hours in the inn she was staying at to learn the history didn’t sound like a whole lot of fun when she thought about it.

Instead of doing another round around the inn, she headed back toward her room. And she did what she should have done. Decided to google the place she was staying. Joel was right. If she was going to stay somewhere she really should have done a deep dive of the place. One of the few things that she could do during the daytime was go to a hot spring they had about twenty minutes out of town. There was a certain draw being able to lounge in a hot spring during the middle of winter. Then again, that meant she would have had to go back to the clothing store to get a bathing suit and it would have felt so awkward doing that in the middle of winter.

So instead of having to face that embarrassment, she just decided to lay out across one of the couches in her sitting area to binge watch Christmas movies. Was this something that she could have been doing back at home? Of course it was. But for some reason she chose a random small town in the middle of nowhere to be doing this.

Halfway through her watch-a-thon she had gone to purchase a bag of microwavable popcorn from the vending machine down the hallway. And that was her snack for the remainder of the day.

This kind of thing wasn’t really like her. Honestly, she couldn’t remember the last time that she just got to lounge around and do nothing. Life didn’t allow that for her. But? It felt like that’s all she could do right now.

It was well into the evening by the time she finally decided to move. Going to the window, she looked outside to see that the sun was just starting to set beyond the mountains. It really was a gorgeous sight. If there was one thing good about Jackson? It was how beautiful the scenery actually was. You would never see something like this in New York City. New York was a different kind of pretty. This was mother nature and it was stunning.

Down below she noticed that the waitress from earlier was right. Nighttime really was the time when Jackson thrived. People were flooded into the streets, taking a stroll around town observing the holiday lights that the town had put up. They were enjoying their surroundings and taking in all of the decorations.

Maybe taking the advice of the waitress would be a good thing. Going out during the middle of the night would be the best idea for her. With so many people out, she wouldn’t stand out amongst the crowd. Everyone would be focused on what they were doing that she might be able to get to enjoy herself.

Getting dressed warmly in one of the new outfits that she had bought for herself earlier, she headed out of her suite ready to explore Jackson. There had to be something here that would draw her to the town. Help her get a feel for things. Now would undoubtedly be the best time for fate to show her that she didn’t make the wrong decision in coming to Jackson. There could be something here to prove to her that she was meant to be here.  

Moving down the stairs, she tried being hopeful about this whole thing. Upon reaching the bottom step of the stairs, she realized that there was now a stranger that was working at registration. The Millers had to go home at some point, so that only made sense. There was no way that they could be there all the time.

Instead of heading out the front, she moved through the back hallways that Maria had led her through earlier. Getting a look at the bar and the restaurant, she realized they were packed. They weren’t kidding when they told her that the prime time for people out here was nighttime. Although she knew that the nightlife didn’t last incredibly long. She learned that last night when she had arrived in Jackson.

Right now? She wasn’t hungry and while the live music could have been a draw, she just wanted to get a feel for the town. So she left out the doors that were there. Immediately, a chill surrounded her and she pulled her jacket in closer to her body. The wind chill was rough against her face and she found herself thankful that she went out and bought some clothes to stay warm. There was no way that she would have ever been able to walk around with anything she had originally had in her bag. It was too damn cold. Sure, New York City could get cold, but this was something else entirely. It was much colder here. Especially at night.

Doing what was suggested, she walked around the town unhurriedly. Everything was very simple. From the town all together to their decorations. But? It was beautiful in its own way. When she reached town square, she realized it was very small. Most of the decorations for Christmas were found there. Sadly, it only took a few minutes to walk through it. What amused her the most about town square was the antler archway that was at the entrance. This town was so old western it hurt.

This place really was a town in the middle of nowhere that sat in the valley of mountains. Somewhere she read that this downtown area was just under 3 square miles of land. It wasn’t much, but it did have a lot of personality.

Since the walk through town square was so small, she decided to just take a seat on one of the benches to watch things. That was something that she often did in New York City too. It gave her time to enjoy the ambience of it all. From where she was seated, it was right off to the side of the ice-skating rink that they had there. Watching the people skating was amusing to her because it was so small compared to the things that she was used to in New York. In New York? Everything was busy and it was busy all the time. Here? Things were more relaxed. Peaceful. Nothing was rushed. People were just enjoying themselves and no one looked miserable. It was nice to see.

Unfortunately, being there only dug in for her how alone she was. Even here she realized that most everyone had someone that they were with. They were all together with friends, lovers or families enjoying the holidays.

Getting up, she continued her walk around town. It didn’t take long for her to walk around the most populated parts of town. During her walk it had started to snow. It was a light dusty snow that was adding to what was already on the ground, just lightly covering the streets. Thankfully it wasn’t a heavy snow since she had to walk back to the inn. Actually? She was grateful that it started to snow. Everything became a whole lot prettier when it did. A dream glow laid over the town with the Christmas lights just catching the snow right as it was falling from the sky.

On her way back to the inn, the bar that Maria had talked about had caught her eye. The Tipsy Bison. Back when she was sitting at town square, she had spotted the tourist bar that Maria had told her about earlier in the day. When she saw it? She knew Maria was right. It was a tourist trap. And she could see why. There was a large display over the top of the building to draw people in. It was the only place in the town that she had seen that had stood out like a sore thumb. There was no questioning that the cowboy themed bar was busy. As for The Tipsy Bison? She could tell that it was busy, but nowhere near the amount that the other bar was.

Considering the night was still young and the Christmas films would still be there waiting for her to watch them during the day tomorrow, she decided to go in and check things out. Stepping into the bar had an immediate chill run down her spine. The moment she entered, just like out of a movie everyone in there seemed to turn to look at her. It was starting to make her anxious how that happened every time she entered a new place.  Pretty quickly, unlike at the restaurant, the people were quick to turn away though. Only having their interest on her for just a moment.

Having that happen had a rush of adrenaline flowing through her veins. There was an intense urge to turn around and head back to the inn, but she wasn’t ready to be locked up again inside of that room. Forcing herself to stay, she took a look around. Everything around her confirmed for her that this was most certainly a bar for the locals. That’s probably why she stood out like she had. Every inch of the place reminded her that she was in the west. Deer heads hanging on the wall. An American flag was put up on the back wall behind the bar. There was a jukebox playing in the corner with some unknown country song. An old piano was in the corner. And the colors were so much similar to that of those you’d find at the inn. A small stage was set up near the back of the place where she assumed musicians in the town would come for a chance to perform. This place was pretty crowded and it was rather small.

Certain parts of the bar were busier than others. Most of the crowded areas were near the bar, the tables and the back room where people were playing pool. After taking a quick glance around the general area, she spotted Tommy and Maria with a group of people laughing together around a few tables. It was sad that the only faces she knew here were those two and Joel.

Heading over toward the bar, she went to the furthest end away from the crowd. At first? No one noticed her. Not even the bartender. And it made her wonder why she even came in here. Sure, she knew Maria and Tommy but they were with friends. They didn’t need her coming and bothering them. So she just waited. Eventually the bartender spotted her. By the expression he gave her, she knew that she was being judged for being the outsider, but she tried to ignore it. Ordering a drink was easy for her because she needed to relax if she was going to make it another moment inside of this place.

Being alone allowed her to observe the people that were there. Most people looked happy. Enjoying their moments with their friends and family. And even if people were there to just get drunk, everyone seemed to know the people that were sitting near them. Which only emphasized the feeling of being miserable for her. Running away from New York because of her loneliness only led her somewhere else that further reminded her just how lonely she actually was. She never felt more alone in her life.

After tonight? She was fairly certain that she would be going home. At least in New York City she didn’t feel like a lone wolf in the pack. Here she was just reminded repeatedly how much she didn’t belong.

Finishing off the drink she had gotten herself, she got up and took a look around. This felt like such a waste of time.  Spending seven hours to go back home on a plane wasn’t optimal, but she didn’t have much of a choice from where she was standing. Every day was just going to continue to be lonely reminding her all over again of how pathetic she actually felt.

Noticing there was a door at the back of the building that was partially opened, she figured she would go outside and just take in the night. The waitress earlier had mentioned how pretty the night sky was here in Jackson. Maybe she would take advantage of that. Spend some time out under the stars. Head back to the inn. Pack things up and then head out tomorrow morning. If there even was a plane that would head out to Newark tomorrow. From conversations she had at the Jackson airport, she knew that flights were spotty. She had only just gotten lucky to end up here. Then again? Was it really luck?

Heading for the door, she managed to move through the crowd. Once stepping outside, an immediate chill flooded her body. Clearly the temperature outside had dropped significantly since she had walked into the bar and it surprised her. It wasn’t even that long. By now it was extremely dark outside with just the streetlights giving off a small amount of light that was filling the area.

What surprised her though was the soft strumming of a guitar close by. Coming to a full stop on the back porch area, she stood there listening. Just from the small amount of light she could see that it was Joel sitting on the steps at the back of The Tipsy Bison. There was an acoustic guitar in his arms and he seemed to be humming a tune to himself. The longer she stood there had those hums starting to turn into quiet lyrics that he was singing under his breath.

“Wow,” she blurt out finally causing Joel to jump, his fingers pulling away quickly. Immediately he went silent, a scoff falling from his throat when he realized that it was her. “You are actually good at something other than being grumpy.”

“What are you doing here?” Joel grumbled under his breath, tensing up when she moved across the way to come take a seat beside him on the steps. Eyeing her over, Joel realized that she was staring up at the sky.

“Maria told me about this place earlier. I was taking a walk around town, trying to get a feel for things,” she claimed, hooking her fingers together as she took in the time to really appreciate the stars and the night sky. Because of the light pollution of New York City, this really wasn’t something that she got to see a lot. “I figured instead of heading back to the inn, I would get a drink. It’s weird that everywhere I end up I keep running into you.”

“No kidding,” Joel’s fingers curled around his guitar, sliding further across the step to give them more room between them. “For some reason, fate wants me to keep running into you. She can be a bitch like that sometimes.”

“Oh please,” she rolled her eyes at Joel’s comment, giving him a quick glance. This time she wasn’t offended and she came off more so amused. “I bring you such joy when I’m around you. Stop being so damn crabby.”

Obviously she was being a smart ass, but the comment made Joel let out a muted laugh. That was the first time she had actually made Joel smile. Well, other than when she was a fool and got whipped cream on her face from the hot chocolate earlier.

“So you play the guitar?” she questioned, nodding her head toward the guitar that was in his hands.

“Obviously,” Joel stammered, bobbing his head about evoking her to let out a long exhale. By now she should have just expected the sass from him.

“It sounded good,” she complimented him, taking her attention away from him to look up toward the sky again. Even though she didn’t mind talking to Joel, she had come out here with the intentions of enjoying the stars and that was what she was going to do. “Do you play here a lot?”

“I don’t really play in public,” Joel answered her, his fingers dragging across the instrument. That surprised her, especially since what she had heard wasn’t all that bad. “I like playing, but mostly to myself.”

“Well that’s a shame. I think the people in there would appreciate your talent,” she suggested, eliciting a laugh from Joel at her suggestion. His response told her that he didn’t believe that. “Even though you were being quiet, the singing sounded good too. I liked it.”

“You barely heard it,” Joel reminded her, setting the guitar aside safely so that it wouldn’t get damaged. This was typical of them to bicker about something as simple as a compliment that she was giving him. “You can’t decide I’m good after just hearing me for a minute or so.”

“It was more than a minute or so,” she stated with a tip of her head. Hearing that she had been there longer made Joel anxious showing that he wasn’t used to playing around people. “I’ll happily listen to you if you want to play a little bit more though.”

“Not a chance,” Joel swiftly rumbled under his breath, reaching his hand up to brush his fingers through his messy hair in an anxious sweep.

“It was worth a shot,” she frowned, leaning in to playfully nudge Joel with her arm. Giving him a weak smile caused confusion to flood Joel’s features. Obviously, he didn’t expect her to continue to be kind to him. “I always wanted to learn how to play the guitar, but I just never had the time to do it.”

Clearing his throat, Joel acknowledged that this was her way of trying to bond with him again and he shrugged his shoulders, “Okay?”

A disappointed breath escaped her lips, her head lowering when she let out a tiny laugh. Their tension only seemed to entertain her now. Shaking her head, she took notice of the way that Joel was staring out at her with the silence surrounding them. The longer they sat out there together alone, the more awkward things were starting to become.

“What are you even doing out here?” Joel pushed, a muscle in his jaw flexing. Part of him wondered if he would regret asking her because she seemed to ramble on when he would ask her a simple question from their previous discussions.

“The waitress from earlier told me that the stars were really beautiful at night. So I wanted to see them,” she responded, pointing toward the sky as Joel leaned back on his palms to get more relaxed beside her on the step. Gazing up at the stars himself, Joel’s Adam’s apple bounced in his throat when she looked back up at the sky. “You don’t get to see this kind of thing where I’m from. It’s beautiful.”

Right now he had a decision to make. He could get up and leave. Allow her to enjoy the stars by herself. Or he could allow her the moment of enjoying what it was like outside without giving her more shit. And surprisingly? He picked the second. There was just something in the way that she gazed that had him wanting to be the slightest bit polite in the moment.

“It is beautiful, but if you really want to get the best view before you leave…you should stop at the ranch right outside of town. There aren’t any lights to pollute the sky. It’s just you and the stars,” Joel educated her on where the best place to see the stars was. “If it isn’t snowing, you aren’t gonna get a better view out here. When I first got here, that was my favorite place to go. I got to be alone and it allowed me to think. Clear my mind when I needed it.”

“That sounds nice,” she admitted, impressed that Joel was letting her in on the tiniest details of his life. There weren’t a lot of occasions in their time interacting where he would be incredibly forthcoming with positivity about things. “Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m going to see it.”

“And why is that?” Joel asked finding her short answers she was giving him to be different for her. Usually, she talked a lot. And right now? She was strangely quiet.

“I think I’m going to leave tomorrow,” she told him, letting him in on the decision that she had been coming up with over the last few hours with being alone. Truthfully? That was something he’d probably appreciate since she had been annoying him from the moment she walked into the inn. “Being here? It just makes me realize how lonely I really am. How pathetic I am.”

“Just like that?” Joel blurt out, his face twisting with displeasure from her answer. “After all that attitude with me giving you a hard time, you’re just going to give up?”

“Give up?” she repeated what he had said, finally lowering her head to meet his stare.

“You certainly seemed like you had something to prove to me in staying here. That’s why you got the clothes wasn’t it?” Joel stammered, holding his right hand up and waving it about. “Now you’ve suddenly decided that you are just going to leave? Instead of trying to make it here?”

“It’s not really that simple,” she stated with a frown, her throat tensing up with him saying it like that to her. Yeah, earlier she thought she was going to prove to him that she could make it here. And maybe it was stupid to leave after she had gotten a new wardrobe for herself to be here for a while. But she didn’t think she could continue to keep up with the loneliness that was emphasized with being here. “There is nothing here for me. You were right. I’m a moron. I’m completely insignificant and I was a fool for thinking that running away from my life would just make it better somehow. I just realized how lonely I really am. I don’t even think anyone in my life has realized that I’m gone. I don’t even think they’d care.”

“Saying that wasn’t meant to be an attack on you,” Joel huffed out, resting his elbows on his knees when he slouched forward. “Everyone is insignificant in the long run Y/N. This is a big, big world. With a whole lot of people. We’re just a tiny part of what makes the world turn. Y’know?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, finding herself getting emotional at the idea of it. That was Joel’s way of kind of apologizing and she could recognize it. But? She didn’t think he was wrong. “But everyone else is the center of someone else’s world. And that’s when they actually become significant. You may not change the world, but you could be someone’s world. And I don’t think that life was ever meant for me.”

“Now that’s just silly,” Joel claimed, his face scrunching up in disbelief. Beside him she shifted on the step that they were on so she could give him her full attention. “You’re a doctor. A surgeon. You’ve saved lives. You’re important. I’m sure because of you a lot of people are still alive. So maybe your light shines brighter than you thought. Maybe you should think about the lives that you saved. And then I reckon you’ll realize how much more important to the world you really are.”

“I have nothing to show for it,” she pointed out trying to hold back on the emotions that she was feeling. There was a lump growing at the center of her throat. This was something she thought about a lot. Even if she did save people, she was alone in this world. So did it really matter? “I put so much effort into something that ultimately just left me alone.”

Joel looked like he wanted to say something with his lips parting, but then he reconsidered it and just lowered his head. Stroking his fingers at the back of his neck, Y/N could tell that Joel was uneasy with this whole thing and didn’t know what to say, “I’m surprised that you are even being nice to me right now.”

“Who said I was being nice to you?” Joel scoffed, looking away from her and toward the other direction. It made her smile with the immediate shift in attitude that he seemed to give her at the idea of him being nice. “I’m just talking.”

“Well damn. I was kind of hoping that I would rub off on you before I left,” she teased, reaching out to pat Joel on the knee. Even though Joel seemed to not like her very much, she thought that he was loosening up to the idea of her. “Pretty soon you’ll just remember me as that annoying New York City girl that was an idiot and showed up to town with no idea what she was getting herself into. It will be a good story to tell people. You can make people laugh. I’m sure the town will be interested to hear what a ridiculous loser I was.”

“You think I’m out to make people laugh?” Joel’s eyebrow arched, his head shaking after he asked her that. Hearing her comment only annoyed him. That wasn’t the kind of person that he was. “You obviously haven’t been paying much attention to me. I’m outside in the freezing cold, playing my guitar to myself. Do you really think I’m the type of person that wants to gossip? I just wanna be left the hell alone. If you haven’t picked up on that.”

“Oh, I’ve picked up on that,” she snickered at the thought, her eyes growing big when she looked him over. Joel was certainly grumpy and that was hard to avoid. Looking to change the subject, she nodded over toward the instrument that he had set aside earlier. “That’s your guitar?”

Giving her a small nod, Joel reached for it and handed it over to her for her to look at. Accepting it carefully, she pulled it in closer to her so she could gaze upon the details, “You just keep your guitar at the local bar?”

“I make them,” Joel explained to her, a sense of anxiety showing through in his voice when he started to open up to her some. This wasn’t like him opening himself up to a stranger, but he was doing his best to try to be normal in the moment. “The owner paid me to make a few for the bar in case people wanted to get up on stage and use them for an open mic night. I uh…like carving things. And I like music.”

“Oh wow,” she was surprised to hear that Joel actually made this guitar that was in her hands. Caressing over the lengths of it, she never would have thought that this wasn’t a guitar that someone would have bought at a store. “That’s really impressive Joel. It’s beautiful.”

“I’ve done better,” Joel accepted the guitar back from her when she handed it over to him. “But it’s not too bad.”

“Will you play something for me?” she asked of him provoking him to immediately shake his head. Disappointment flooded her veins, but with another firm shake, Joel was making it clear that he didn’t want to play again. “Please?”

“No means no,” Joel chuckled noticing the pout that she was giving him. It reminded him of a child that wanted to use that look to make someone do what they wanted. “The hell do you think that’s gonna do? Make me feel bad and play for you? I barely even know you.”

“I’m miserable and there is a tiny chance that you playing might make me happy,” she insisted with a weak smile, nodding to the guitar again. Dramatically shrugging his shoulders, Joel couldn’t help but laugh. This was someone he barely knew. And she was asking a whole hell of a lot out of him. “Please will you play something?”

“No,” Joel stood his ground, his laughter growing when she nudged faintly at his shoulder again. Truthfully? He should have been more annoyed with her. But really? He was actually amused with her antics. Her fingers curled around his upper arm and she faintly tugged back and forth at it multiple times. “What in God’s name are you doing?”

“Please? It would make me shut up,” she let her words linger, purposely being annoying in the way that she was asking him. Tipping her head and fluttering her eyelashes had him continuing to laugh uncomfortably beside her. “Come on.”

“You’ll shut up if I do it?” Joel inquired, forcing himself to stop laughing. Angling his head just slightly allowed him to give her a glare with his big brown eyes.

“Promise,” she assured him, nodding her head about and placing her hand in over her chest. Acting as if that would be a stronger guarantee for him. Groaning loudly, Joel shifted on the stairs and placed the guitar the way it was meant to be. At first he appeared to be nervous, glancing several times in her direction. Closing his eyes tightly, Joel seemed to be pep talking himself under his breath before starting to strum at the guitar. Once he was at ease, the tune started to come together and it made her smile.

To his surprise, she was quiet. That certainly helped him play because then he could pretend that he was alone. Just like he was most of the times he played his guitar. Occasionally he would steal a quick look at her to see that she appeared to be in awe of the music that he was playing. After a while, it became soothing for him to play for her. It had been a long time since he had played for someone and to have an audience in some fashion that actually enjoyed listening to him was nice. Especially after he thought he may have lost some of his talent.

“What about singing?” she spoke up after a while causing him to smile and shake his head.

“Don’t push it,” he silenced her, finishing up with the final tune that he had started. When he was done, she clapped quietly. There was a warmth that flooded into Joel’s face. Even though it was freezing outside, there was an embarrassment over the fact that he allowed that to happen that was pressing in over him.

“That was amazing,” she thanked him for taking the time to do that. Having him play for her was not something that she expected him to agree to. Especially with how their interactions had started out. “You really should play for people. I bet you’re incredible. Just allowing yourself to relax out here really opened you up to things with me out here.”

“Baby steps,” Joel breathed, shaking his head again to remind her that he wasn’t ready for that kind of thing.

“Why did you start playing the guitar?” she wondered, pulling her gloves out of her jacket when she started to notice the pain that came with her being cold.

“I uh…” Joel thought long and hard if he should tell her the truth. “I wanted to be a singer when I was growing up.”

“What?! That’s awesome,” she reached out again to supportively squeeze at his shoulder. It made Joel tense up underneath her. He wasn’t used to people being so touchy with him. “Why didn’t you? If that’s the case you shouldn’t just be playing out here to yourself. You should be playing out there in front of everyone.”

“Life happened,” Joel didn’t want to elaborate, his eyes narrowing when he spoke about his passion leaving him. “I just don’t know if I’ll ever be able to play in front of a crowd again. I get nervous playing in front of people. Having everyone’s attention on me. I don’t like it.”

“That’s a shame. Because I think you were meant to shine,” she professed, placing her hand in over the center of her chest giving him a big cheesy smile. “You’re like a beacon in the dark. But in a good way. You’re great. I loved hearing you play. I wouldn’t be the only one to enjoy it. I assure you of that.”

Hearing all these compliments from her was strange for him. People were always thankful when he helped out around town, but because he was shut off from the world around him, no one was ever really this complimentary of him. So it was hard for him to respond to it. Being social wasn’t one of his strongest talents.

“So you went from wanting to be a singer to becoming a contractor. And then you became the owner of the inn,” she thought aloud about what she had known to be true about Joel. “You can carve beautiful things. You are amazing at playing the guitar. You sing. You build. Is there anything that you can’t do?”

“Be a social creature?” Joel joked pulling forth a loud laugh from her lips. Immediately, she slapped her hand in over her mouth realizing that her finding that funny may have been offensive to him. “It’s okay. I’m the one that made the joke. You can laugh.”

“So…” she took note of the fact that he was starting to open up more with her. Little by little. Forcing her laugh down, there was a warmth flooding to her face. “Are you married?”

“Are your observational skills that bad?” Joel wondered, his eyebrows bouncing up with her looking down toward his hand. Squinting with the minimal amount of light, she realized that there wasn’t a band on his finger and she nodded. That was his answer.

“Okay, so you’re not married,” she concluded, waving her hand about in the air. “What about a girlfriend? Do you have a girlfriend out here?”

“No,” Joel’s words were firm, his head shaking as he spoke. There was a muscle at the corner of his jaw that flexed with his dark eyes narrowing out at her.

“No what? No you don’t have a girlfriend?” she confirmed with Joel who laughed beside her uneasily. There was a sense of curiosity in her eyes, but also confusion with how easily Joel was shutting down during this conversation.

“No, we’re not having this conversation,” Joel asserted causing her to let out a disappointed groan. While she was open with him, he wasn’t that kind of person and he wasn’t about to have this kind of talk with someone that he barely knew. “We’re not about to talk about my love life. I’ve already shared more than enough with you about my life.”

“I know nothing,” she reasoned with him, her face scrunching up in annoyance.

“More than enough,” Joel commented with another amused sound falling from his throat. “We’re not about to become friends you and I.”

“Why not?” she paused to think about what he said. And that surprised him. She seemed to be upset that he wouldn’t even consider opening up to her. “Maybe we would make good friends. Two insignificant people to the world. Lonely and alone.”

“Who said I’m lonely?” Joel countered, his body tensing up when he sat up straighter beside her. Hearing her call him out like that caught him off guard. “Maybe I like being alone. Maybe I’m better in that kind of environment.”

“Yeah, okay,” she grumbled under her breath, dropping her head forward in defeat. Joel was standing his ground that he wasn’t going to open up to her any further. “We took those baby steps and you just make sure to slide right back to remind me that there is no chance of us being civil with one another.”

“I played my guitar for you,” Joel reminded her, waving his hand between him at the instrument that was still there. “That was a lot for me.”

“That was barely scratching the surface,” she claimed, amused that he thought that was a big deal to focus on.

“It might not be a big deal for you, but that was huge for me,” Joel stressed to her, his hand lifting to place in over the center of his chest. It drew her attention back to him so he could get her to understand. “I don’t play in front of people. So you may think it was something small, but for me? You have no idea how big that was for me.”

“Fair enough,” she swallowed down hard realizing that he was being honest with her. “Thank you then.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Joel didn’t know how to respond. So he just stayed silent beside her.

“I’m going to guess you aren’t dating anyone,” she broke the silence between them getting Joel to scoff at her bluntness. “So I don’t even know why I asked that when I knew the answer.”

“And how do you know that?” Joel bit down on his bottom lip, irritated that she would just assume something like that.

“Because you wouldn’t be out here alone playing your guitar if you had someone in there waiting for you or someone at home,” she gathered taking note of the fact that he remained outside with her instead of going back into the bar. “If you had someone waiting at home for you, that’s where you would be.”

“I guess your observational skills aren’t that bad after all,” Joel acknowledged, getting her to shrug. She wasn’t wrong. Even if he didn’t want to admit it. “And you? You mentioned that your boyfriend recently dumped you?”

“God, you had to mention him,” she scowled at the idea of her ex. Shaking her head, she pointed back toward the building and unhurriedly stood up from where she was seated on the stairs. “I need to get a stronger drink than I’ve had. Do you want to share a drink with me?”

“Not really,” Joel was honest, grunting out when she came back for him and hooked her arm around his. Working to get him up from the stairs, he stumbled back following her into the bar. Compared to what it was like outside? It felt nice with the warmth immediately surrounding them once they walked in. They must have been outside a while because there wasn’t as big of a crowd by now. Motioning her to wait, Joel put his guitar away and then met her back where he had left her. Heading over toward the bar she took a seat beside Joel and waited for him to order. “Whiskey.”

“I’ll have what he’s having,” she pointed toward Joel who gave her a tiny smirk.

“It’s strong,” Joel warned her as the bartender came back with two glasses. Pouring the drink out for them, Joel let out an amused rumble when she threw back the drink immediately coughing once the burning liquid hit her throat. “I told you.”

Stroking his hand over the top of the bar, Joel shook his head in amusement. Grabbing his drink, Joel took a small sip of it noticing that she was asking the bartender to pour her another, “Maybe sip it this time?”

“Yeah, yeah,” she waved her hand off in the air dismissively not really listening when she swallowed down most of it.

“You’re not going to be able to walk back to the inn if that’s how you keep drinking it,” Joel suggested with an amused sound, drinking more of what he ordered. “Do you ever make any decisions for yourself?”

“What do you mean?” she finished off her next drink, her eyes narrowing when she turned to face him at the bar.

“You had someone pick where you were going at the airport. You had someone tell you which place to stay at in Jackson. You had me pick your breakfast this morning. And then you just copied me and got the same drink that I did,” Joel recalled everything that he knew to be true. Once again, the bartender came back to fill her drink for her. “No wonder you’re unhappy. You have everyone pick everything for you.”

“I chose the room I wanted to stay in,” she prompted, her fingers stroking down over the side of her glass. It made Joel chuckle that it was the only thing she could come up with in the moment. “Your breakfast suggestion was good, so I assumed your drink selection…”

“Is very strong. I use it to help me not feel,” Joel stressed to her, finishing off his first drink. Motioning the bartender back, he got him to fill his glass again and he leaned in closer to the bar. “I don’t think you’re gonna be able to handle your alcohol as well as I can.”

“You’d be surprised,” she shot back almost determined to prove him wrong. Taking another sip of the whiskey, she knew that it wouldn’t often be something that she chose. He wasn’t wrong there. “And to answer your question, I always make my own choices. My bad decisions have led me here, so I don’t think it’s a problem to let someone else pick things for me sometimes.”

“It can’t really be that bad, can it?” Joel huffed, his brow line creasing at the idea that her life was so awful. Multiple times she had stressed how terrible life was for her, but it was hard to really think she was right. “You live in a brownstone in New York City. You can afford to do whatever you want. You’re a doctor that saves lives. People probably look up to you.”

“This is the first time I’ve had any kind of vacation in years. I work really hard. And the brownstone?” she thought about his question, inhaling sharply before drinking down the rest of her drink again. “Well, let’s just say you don’t care to hear about it.”

“I assume it was a place you had with your boyfriend?” Joel retorted, his nose wrinkling when he followed her in finishing off his next drink.

“No. I mean occasionally he would stay over or I’d go to his apartment. I just could never really get rid of the brownstone,” she admitted to Joel, tensing up beside him. Staring off in the distance, she didn’t know which thing to talk about. The boyfriend or the brownstone. “You know, we were together for five years. He was my senior, but we just seemed to click. At least I thought we did.”

“It sounds like an abuse of power to me,” Joel grunted, getting amused when he saw Y/N request the bartender to come back. “I can’t imagine working at the same place as your boyfriend was the best idea in the first place.”

“Can you just leave the bottle? I’ll pay for all of this,” she waved her hand about between her and Joel. The bartender gave Joel a look who simply shrugged his shoulders and got more comfortable on the seat by the bar. Leaving the bottle, it allowed Y/N to pour more for both him and her. “I always knew he was an asshole. For the most part though? He was always pretty okay with me. And then when I found out he was cheating and blamed me for the whole thing? I started to realize that everything that I thought was okay or special about him, really wasn’t. I was blinding myself with the idea of him. Not really how he was.”

Joel didn’t know what to say. He just finished off his drink and she was quick to fill his glass again, “I’m pretty sure that he just used me for sex. Because I’m really good at it.”

Hearing that caused Joel to choke on his drink, an amused smile tugging at his lips with how blunt she was being, “I’m serious. I’m really good at it. My blowjobs are top notch.”

“You might want to lower the volume there darlin’,” Joel urged her, placing his hand out in front of her to get her to notice that a few people from the bar were staring out at her after what she said. “You might draw the wrong crowd and the last thing we need is one of these people trying to take advantage of you when you are very obviously drunk.”

“I’m serious though,” she continued on, having a warmth flooding into Joel’s face with her rambling. Both from embarrassment and worry that people were hearing her go on and on. “I promise you that if I gave you a blowjob it would be the best you’ve ever had. I’m a doctor. I know what to touch. I know how to pay attention to the way you react to things. I was trained to be an expert about the human body and I’m good at it. I could keep edging you until you had one of the most powerful orgasms you’ve ever had. I know how to use my body to make you feel good.”

“Uhm…” Joel shifted, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat with the way that she was talking. Looking back over his shoulder, Joel noticed a few of the regulars that were sitting at the bar started to pay more attention than they really should have been. “Mind your business fellas. We’re having a bit of a breakdown over here.”

“Let them listen. Maybe the best thing for me is to hook up with someone here. Show my ex-boyfriend that I don’t care,” she ranted, pouring herself another drink. Reaching for the bottle, Joel made sure that he had a hold of it because he thought she had more than enough for tonight.

“No one here is good enough for that,” Joel was quiet in the way he spoke, sliding in closer to her to hush her. “No one is good enough for you. And someone might take advantage of what you’re saying right now, so try to tone it down a little bit. I don’t want one of these guys hurting you.”

“And suddenly you care,” she seemed to slur a little, an amused smirk pressing in over her features. “What about you? Did you ever have a bad breakup?”

“I really don’t want to do this,” Joel claimed, his hand placing in over the center of his chest. Reaching for the glass that she had poured for him previously, he swallowed it down hard and then poured himself another. For a while she just stared at him. Expecting him to open up. Grunting, Joel let out a tense breath and nodded his head. “Yeah, I was married at one point.”

“What happened?” she wondered, her eyes big when she looked to him for the story.

“Too much,” Joel stressed, a rush of color flooding into his face. Holding his hand up, he realized that she was pouting and rolled her eyes. With her pouting, he knew that he was never going to hear the end of it if he didn’t give her some kind of answer. “It ended. What else is there to really say? I was young. It didn’t work out.”

“She left you broken hearted, huh?” she inquired, tracing her fingers over the top of the glass. Grumbling to himself, Joel was quick to finish his drink again. Hell, it was a bad idea but he filled his glass once more. These weren’t thoughts he was happy bringing up.

“Yeah. She abandoned me when…” Joel stopped talking, a muscle in his jaw flexing when he thought back on his life. “It doesn’t matter. It was for the best that she did disappear. She wasn’t much of a wife in the first place.”

“Both of us have been scorned by people we thought we loved,” she emphasized her words, trying to reach for the bottle that Joel had snatched earlier, but he kept it from her. Making sure to keep a distance from her and the bottle, Joel wasn’t allowing her to grab it. Her hands pressed in over his chest, but he shook his head firmly. “You’ve had just as much as me tonight.”

“I’m bigger than you,” Joel bobbed his head about, not wanting her to get hurt from all that she was drinking. By the way she was talking and the lack of her filtering system, there was no way that she was okay here. “I think you drank too much, too fast. And I probably did too.”

“You’re no fun,” she frowned, lowering her head to rest it over the top of the table. Growling, Joel finished off his drink and knew that he would be feeling all of the glasses he drank later. So there was no doubt that she would be too.

“So I’ve heard,” Joel muttered under his breath, finishing off the bottle that was before them and pushing it toward the edge of the bar. Drinking the rest of it kept her from being able to have any more. Something told him that while he was used to drinking heavily, she wasn’t.

The sound of people having fun caused her to lift her head from the bar top to look over her shoulder at the people dancing together, “Do you want to dance with me?”

“No,” Joel shook his head immediately, his response upsetting her in the moment. “It’s not just because it’s you, I just don’t…dance.”

“Why?” she pushed, her hand reaching out to place it in over his to try to get his attention on her. “Are people going to freak out if you end up dancing with someone?”

“I don’t care what people think,” Joel vowed biting down on his bottom lip, but by her expression he could tell that she didn’t believe him. “I just don’t do a lot of things.”

“And maybe that’s why you’re sad like me,” she hinted evoking Joel to grumble something under his breath.

“Who said I’m sad?” Joel countered, shaking his head in disbelief that she would even make that kind of suggestion. “You know nothing about me.”

“You drink to numb the pain. You’re angry, all the time,” she listed off the things that she had experienced with Joel since she had come to town. “You like being alone. You don’t surround yourself with people. You’re torturing yourself for some reason because you don’t think you deserve to be happy.”

Slouching forward, Joel’s breathing grew louder and she knew by what she had said that she was right, “Broken recognizes broken. There’s a reason I was drawn to you. You and me? We’re exactly alike.”

“We’re nothing alike,” Joel retorted with a wrinkle of his nose finding it hard to believe that there was much there between them that was similar. “You’re just drunk and you’re saying things that you really shouldn’t be saying.”

“Come dance with me,” she begged, standing up from the seat and holding her hand out toward Joel waiting for him to accept her offer. After standing there for longer than she really should have, she threw her hands up in the air. “Fine then, if you won’t dance with me, I’ll ask one of these fine gentleman here to dance with me and then afterwards…”

Stumbling toward the men that she had drawn the attention of earlier with her sexual comments had Joel hopping up from the seat to reach out to grab a hold of her arm. Hissing out, Joel moved with her toward the area where people were dancing and it made her smile.

By now the music was a slow song and Joel felt embarrassed when she reached for his hand. Stepping closer to him, she placed her hand at the small of his back and Joel did something similar, “I don’t…dance.”

“Just move your body to the music,” she couldn’t help but laugh with Joel standing before her stiff as a board not moving at all. Stepping back, she reached for his wrists and started to wiggle them having him scoff. “Loosen up Mr. Miller. No one cares that you are up here dancing. And if they do, fuck them.”

“I don’t really loosen up,” Joel tried to explain to her rolling his eyes at the way she was attempting to get him to relax. Releasing a long exhale, Joel slouched a bit and made a dramatic expression. “Better?”

“We’ll work on it,” she reached for his arm to lead it around her waist. Dropping his head back, Joel hated that he got himself into this position, he just didn’t want her to end up hurt by someone else in the town. Sure, he knew most people here but he didn’t trust a lot of them. Grasping his other hand in hers, she just led him to move slightly while the other people around them did something similar. “Not bad, right?”

“It’s awful,” Joel snarled getting her to laugh and drop her head forward to rest it against the center of his chest. When she did that the scent of her perfume flooded through his lungs and it made him take in a sharp breath. “I don’t like being the center of attention. I don’t know how many times I can tell you that.”

“I’ve picked up on it,” she admitted, lifting her head slowly and locking her eyes with his. Sliding her free hand up over Joel’s arm had her eyes growing wide. For a moment she stopped to squeeze at his bicep and it made him laugh. “Wow, you’ve got a bicep going on there Mr. Miller.”

“You know it’s against the law to feel someone up against their will,” Joel replied getting a tiny laugh to fall from her lips at his comment. “I’m just saying.”

“It was innocent,” she hushed him, moving in closer to him while the two of them continued to dance. It was hard to block out the rest of the world around them, but he was trying everything to pretend that no one else was there while he did this with her. “What do you think I should do? Do you think I should go home?”

“I’d say you should do whatever you want to,” Joel gave her the right answer that anyone should have. “If you want to stick it out here, try it. If you want to go back home, go back home.”

“Going back home scares me,” she was honest with Joel, her silly expression fading when she thought back on her life. “I don’t know what I’m capable of if I go back home and realize how awful things truly are.”

“Then don’t go home,” Joel was quick to respond, a disappointed breath falling from his throat. “I don’t know what’s going on in your life. But I do know what it’s like for things to be hard. For things to feel like the end of the world. Life doesn’t always work out the way we hoped, but you just…you gotta keep finding things to fight for. Or you’ll never survive.”

For the first time since she had been here, Joel could really see the sadness in her eyes. Pulling her close, Joel cuddled his head in against hers and continued to dance with her. In the distance he could see that Tommy and Maria were still there in the corner of the bar. Their dancing had caught Tommy’s attention and he was watching the two of them together. Trying to avoid his brother, Joel heard the sound of awe from Y/N when the next song started to play.

“Now this is a good one,” she remarked, humming the tune while she danced along with Joel. “I’m not really one for country music? But this song? I love it.”

“Why?” Joel snickered, his face scrunching up in amusement attempting to listen to the lyrics.

“You don’t know this song? It’s Amazed by Lonestar,” she educated him on the song causing his right eyebrow to arch while they continued to move together.

“I never said I didn’t know the song, I asked you why you loved it,” Joel reminded her of what he had said, moving just enough so he couldn’t see his brother and the group Tommy was with. It was a way to keep himself distracted.

“Listen to the lyrics,” she instructed, her hand pressing firmly in over his chest. “It’s a song about a person being so incredibly in love with someone that they can’t imagine life without the person they love.”

She hushed him in the moment, imploring him to listen to the lyrics as she sang them herself, “I don't know how you do what you do. I’m so in love with you. It just keeps getting better and better. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you by my side. Forever and ever.”

Having her singing in front of him had a tiny smirk remaining over his lips. Here he was, someone who wanted to be a singer when he was younger being afraid of singing in front of her, but she was singing along to the tune of the song they were dancing to together, “So you’re a romantic?”

“Everyone is a romantic,” she stopped singing long enough to respond back to him making him snort. “They are.”

“It’s unrealistic,” Joel disagreed, his head shaking slowly at the thought of the song. “No one is in love with everything someone does. You’re bound to get irritated with someone. And people can tell you that they want to spend the rest of their life with you, but they never really mean it.”

“It sounds nice though, doesn’t it?” she didn’t fight him on his rebuttal, sighing loudly at the idea of what the song was stressing. “To have someone love you so much that even your flaws have them falling more and more in love with you.”

As the song ended, Joel could hear the upbeat music surrounding him. A slow song he could handle, but not one like this, “How about I walk you back to the inn so we can let you get some sleep because it’s getting late?”

Since he was offering, she just gave him a nod. Motioning him to wait, she headed back to the bar to pay the bill and he moved in beside her while she finished. Quickly, he led her toward the door to exit and once they got outside, he watched her shudder. “You’ll eventually get used to the cold. Probably by the time you leave, but you’ll get used to it.”

“I’m sorry,” she blurt out, surprising him as he walked side by side with her. “Here I am completely unloading on you and you never liked me to begin with. Now you’re stuck walking me home.”

“Who said I didn’t like you?” Joel grunted, noticing that she reached the depression stage in her drunken state. “Just because I bicker with you doesn’t mean I don’t like you. I don’t like anyone. So it really has nothing to do with you.”

“I just think I’m a bother,” she confessed, swallowing down hard as they walked together in the snow back to the inn.

“It’s not like I had anything better to do tonight,” Joel attempted to make her feel better. The last thing he wanted to do was make her feel even more depressed with her drunk like this. Emotions were strong when you were drunk and he knew what he was capable of when he was intoxicated. He didn’t want that for her. “Instead of drinking alone, I got to spend my time with someone else.”

“Which is misery for you,” she smirked getting Joel to chuckle at the idea.

“I handled it,” Joel promised her, swiftly reaching his arm out to hook his around hers when she slipped to keep her from falling. Grumbling something under his breath, Joel sighed loudly. “You need to learn to be careful.”

“I’m not used to this shit,” she stammered, throwing her free hand about showing that the area was still very much snowy. “In New York they usually take care of this shit pretty quickly. I’m sorry.”

“Stop telling me that you’re sorry,” Joel ordered, his lips parting with a huff falling from his throat.

“Sorry,” she apologized once more, a stressed exhale escaping her lips. It made Joel laugh that once again she was saying it. “I mean…”

“You’ll work on it,” Joel held his hand up so she didn’t have to continue to think about it. “I used to apologize a lot too when I was younger for things that I had no control over. You’ll learn that it doesn’t matter. You did nothing wrong.”

“Thank you,” she was now really starting to feel the effects of the alcohol hitting her. Joel was right. She drank too much too fast. “Not just for the pep talk, but just for tonight. As sad as it is, tonight is probably the best night I’ve had in a very long time. That shows you how pathetic I am.”

Instead of responding, Joel just gave her a nod as they approached the inn, “Do you need help getting up to your room?”

“No, I’m fine,” she assured him, stepping back and away from him. Pushing his hands into his pockets Joel watched her as she headed toward the entrance of the inn. Second guessing, she turned on her heel and looked back to Joel. “You know, there is more to you than you think there is. You’re not just some grumpy man…”

“Thanks for that,” Joel was amused with the way she worded her statement. It looked like she wanted to say more, but then turned back around. Going to step up toward the building, she felt her legs giving out on her and before she could fall Joel was behind her catching her. “You need help into your room.”

“It was just ice,” she refused hearing Joel grunting when he helped her back up to her feet.

“There’s no ice there,” Joel directed her to look down where it was only a step that they had managed to keep clean from the snow and ice. “You’re just drunk. And pretty damn drunk.”

Turning in Joel’s arms, her hands braced in over the center of Joel’s chest and she looked up at him with big eyes, “You have puppy dog eyes. They’re big…and brown.”

“They’ve been that way my whole life,” Joel smirked, hearing the sound of someone exiting the inn. It was an older woman who caught sight of them and Joel could see the smile that pressed in over her features with looking at them.

“You’re under the mistletoe,” the woman pointed up toward the decorations that Tommy or Maria had undoubtedly put there.

“Nah, that’s not mistletoe. That’s something…else,” Joel suggested, not really sure if that was true or not. Really, he had no idea what mistletoe looked like, but he wasn’t about to admit that his brother or his wife was ridiculous enough to put that at the front of their inn.

“No, that’s mistletoe and it’s customary for two people underneath it to kiss,” the older woman explained getting Joel to laugh thickly at the idea of it. “It’s bad luck if you don’t. If you look up the history of it you’ll see what I’m talking about.”

“I’m not really one to follow the…” Joel’s words came to a quick halt with Y/N tugging at the collar of his jacket. Pulling Joel down, she captured his lips in a kiss that he wasn’t prepared for. What should have been his natural reaction was to pull away, but he didn’t. Instead, his hands dropped down over her sides bracing at her hips almost instinctively. Each sweep of her lips over his was tender and passionate. It drew chills down his spine. With each passing second, the kiss continued with her fingers sinking into the tiny curls of hair at the bottom of his neck. By the time that she broke away from the kiss it had Joel’s eyes fluttering back to an open with his breathing heavy. “Rules.”

“I don’t need any more bad luck,” she explained to him in a whisper why she had kissed him, her lips still lingering over his. The warmth of their breath still pressed over the other’s lips and Joel’s eyelids grew heavy while he stared down at her. After the woman had gotten them to kiss she was back on her way wherever she was headed leaving them standing together in front of the inn. By now neither one of them had moved. His hands were still settled at her hips and she still had her arms wrapped around his shoulders. “I think we both could start using some good luck. With traditions and all.”

“Yeah,” Joel couldn’t gather much to say, just giving her a small nod. Realizing that it was starting to snow again, Joel swallowed down hard still feeling the warmth of her lips lingering over his. “Maybe we should get you to your room now.”

With a silent nod, she unhurriedly dropped her arms down. One of Joel’s hands dropped down, the other grabbed a hold of hers to help her back into the inn. Walking through the lobby, he took note of the fact that no one was there anymore. It was late enough that anyone who was staying at the inn would be in there rooms and the restaurant along with the bar were likely closed. The only person there was an employee that was sitting in the registration room facing away from them while watching something on their cell phone.

Taking his time leading her up the stairs, Joel huffed when they got to the top and she pulled her hand from his to move over toward the sitting area that was there, “I just need a breather for a minute.”

“Your room is right there,” Joel pointed toward the area she was staying from where he was standing on the last step to get to the second floor. Moving in closer to the fire, she held out her hands and Joel grumbled to himself. Joining her in the sitting area, Joel noticed the way that she was shivering. “You can get under your blankets, get warm.”

“My room doesn’t have this fire,” she explained to him, pointing toward it getting Joel to smirk. “I can’t remember the last time I sat by a lit fireplace like this. It’s the closest I’ve felt to Christmas in a long time.”

“This is the closest you’ve felt to Christmas?” Joel wondered, finding that hard to believe. “You’re from one of the cities that goes all out for Christmas. And sitting here in front of the fireplace is where you feel the closest to Christmas?”

“It reminds me of being young,” she claimed, her eyes looking tired when she rubbed her hands together to warm up. “I remember when I was little sitting by the fire with my parents. They’d tell me stories about Santa while we shared hot cocoa. It brings back old memories. Don’t you have any of those?”

“I uh…” Joel swallowed down hard, leaning further back in the seat that he was in. Stretching out in the chair, he didn’t know what to say. “I try not to think about my youth all that much. Or my past. It makes me feel things that I don’t want to feel.”

“Like what?” she whispered, giving him her full attention and he felt on the spot.

“Sad,” he was honest with her, a lump growing in his throat. Forcing himself to look away from her, he knew he didn’t want to elaborate because he knew that he couldn’t handle it. A moment later, he felt her hand pressing in against his. Allowing her to touch him, Joel sucked in a sharp breath of air with her fingers hooking with his.

“Me too,” she informed him, squeezing his fingers in her grasp. “I’m sorry Joel.”

Caressing his thumb at the back of her hand, Joel’s heart skipped a beat when their eyes connected. Sliding to the edge of the chair he was seated in, Joel shakily reached out to sweep his fingers in over her jawline. It had her leaning into his touch, her eyes coming to a tight close.

“Is it bad that I keep thinking about kissing you?” she finally spoke up, her eyes coming to a slow open. Contemplating the question, he gave a single shake of his head knowing that he had been thinking about it too. “You tasted like whiskey and peppermint.”

“Oh,” Joel smirked, keeping his fingers still hooked with hers, but with his free hand he motioned her to wait. Digging into his pocket he pulled out the candies that he had snagged from the front desk earlier when he was at registration. “I’ve been eating these all day.”

“That explains it,” she chuckled seemingly moving in closer when Joel put them back into his pocket. Lowering her eyes to gaze over his lips, she went to speak up, but then paused. Looking as if she was embarrassed. “Would you be angry if I kissed you again?”

“No,” Joel whispered, granting her permission to lean in closer to him. The warmth of her breath pressed in over his lips helping to add to the chills that ran down his spine. Nudging her nose faintly with his, Joel’s body seemed to tense up with her bottom lip slightly dragging across his. In that moment, his eyes closed with her mouth covering his. Faint brushes of her lips over his had him pressing in closer to her providing her with the encouragement to continue to kiss him. Starting to kiss her back, Joel’s free hand caressed up over her shoulder toward her neck with his fingers wrapping around the back of it. Sweeping his thumb in over her jawline while they kissed had her purring into his mouth.

A nervous breath escaped him when she released his hand, standing up from the seat that she was in. Stepping before Joel, she carefully crawled in over him and it had a tremoring breath escaping him. Palming up over her thighs, Joel tipped his head back with his lips parted. There was something in the way her eyes locked with his that had his heartbeat skipping in his chest. Cupping his face in her hands, her thumbs caressed at the sides of his face. Closing his eyes, he liked the way it felt to have someone touching him like that. It had been so long since he had felt a tender sweep like hers.

“You are so handsome,” she slurred, dragging her thumb across Joel’s bottom lip. Pressing gentle kisses at the pad of her thumb had her whimpering. A low rumble of a moan escaped his throat, with her right hand sliding over the back of his head to sink into the thick tresses of his hair. A gentle tug had him tipping his head back so she could cover his lips with hers again. Nibbling at her bottom lip had her lowering down in over his lap getting him to pull back slightly to look between them. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Joel assured her swallowing down hard as she started to kiss at his jawline down over his neck. Sucking in a sharp breath of air, Joel’s hands slid in around her to palm at her bottom giving it a small squeeze. By the moan she gave, it relieved him to know that she was okay with it. Grasping her jaw between his thumb and index finger, Joel urged her back to him to steal a hungry kiss from her lips. It had her lips parting allowing him to brush the warmth of his tongue against hers. Returning the gesture had Joel humming against her mouth, the vibrations of it causing her to whimper. Their foreheads pressed together with her hands flattening out over the center of Joel’s chest, caressing down over his abdomen. Lifting up in the seat, Joel nipped at her chin evoking a moan to escape her lips. The softest of rolls of her hips over his had his head tipping back, dropping back against the chair. “Y/N…”

A moment later, her hands were working to press up underneath his button down and his white t-shirt. Once the warmth of her fingertips dragged across the flesh of his abdomen, it had Joel’s back involuntarily arching up toward her, “It’s been a very long time since I’ve been with someone…”

“That’s okay,” she hushed him, standing up from his lap making him nervous that she was ready to leave after his confession. A moment later, she was carefully lowering down to her knees, pushing his legs open slightly. Adjusting his positioning, Joel’s breathing grew louder with her fingers caressing up and over his thighs. Having her eyes looking up at him like they were as her hands caressed further up his body had him sucking in another sharp breath of air. “When was the last time you had a good blowjob?”

“Hey…hey,” Joel lifted his head to make sure that they were alone knowing that just below them was the employee that was working for him. “We’re in public.”

“Everyone goes to bed early here. No one is going to come out,” she assured him, attempting to reach for the belt in Joel’s pants, but he was quick to reach for her hands trying to stop her. “It’s okay. We’re alone. Do you not want a blowjob?”

“I’d love a blowjob, but I’m not sure this is such a great idea,” Joel admitted hearing the sound of his belt jangling when she managed to get it undone. Grunting out, Joel was surprised how strong she was when she started tugging at the button in his pants. After she got the material separated, she was swiftly pulling down the zipper. “I’m not sure you’re sober enough to do this.”

“I know what I’m doing,” she promised, her eyes locking with his while she caressed over his thighs again. “You deserve this. I promise you, you won’t regret it.”

“But you might,” Joel thought aloud, gulping loudly when she lifted up enough to push at the bottom of his shirts again getting the material up under his chest. Immediately her lips brushed over the area right below his navel getting him to groan out. His eyes came to a tight close while she peppered wet kisses over his flesh. A raspy moan followed when he felt her left hand drop to caress in over the center of his pants. “Y/N…”

Biting down on his bottom lip, he tried to silence himself to keep the employee from knowing what was happening while her caress focused in over his manhood having him growing rigid beneath her touch. Caressing his hand in over the back of her neck, Joel trembled when she started lowering her kisses down over his body. Kissing at his thighs through the denim, her head centered in over his lap. Grunting out, Joel felt the weight of her over him growing heavier and he dropped his head down to hear her breathing loudly.

“Y/N?” Joel breathed out her name, stroking his hand over the back of her head. Scrambling to move forward, Joel managed to lift her head up realizing that she passed out in his lap.

Cussing to himself, Joel took a quick look around and wiggled beneath her enough to be able to hook his arms around her. Lifting her up, Joel knew that she was way too drunk to be making these kind of decisions. Carrying her over toward her room, Joel balanced her the best he could to reach for his keys. Fumbling with the keys, he almost fell into her room when he did manage to get the door open. Entering her room, he kicked the door shut with his heel and carefully carried her over toward her bedroom. Lowering her into the bed, Joel went to leave, but then second thought things.

Reaching for her shoes, Joel managed to get them off setting them aside on the floor. Working the blankets down in the bed, Joel started to pull them up in over her tucking her in. Adjusting her pillows under her head, Joel was very cautious in the way he moved her wanting to make sure that she was comfortable when she woke up in the morning. Caressing down over the side of her face, Joel sighed loudly and went to leave.

“Joel,” he felt the faintest of touches sweeping in against his wrist. “Would you lay with me?”

“Here,” Joel outstretched his hand, grabbing the teddy bear that was sitting on the nightstand. Working him into her arms, Joel gave her a weak smile and shrugged his shoulders. “He’s a much better cuddler than I am.”

“Please? I…I don’t want to be alone,” she whispered leaning into the warmth of Joel’s touch with him caressing at the side of her face.

“You barely know me,” Joel reminded her, swallowing loudly with her turning into his palm to press a kiss over the center of it.

With another begging expression, Joel cussed to himself and dropped his head down against the edge of the bed. Standing up, he took his time kicking out of his boots. Pulling back the covers, Joel crawled into bed with her. Carefully, he slid in beside her. Turning away from him, she lifted her arm hinting to him that she wanted him to hold her.

Doing as she asked, Joel’s arm loosely wrapped around her waist with him nuzzling his nose against the back of her neck when she got comfortable in his arms. Lifting up just enough he managed to turn off the light. The sensation of her fingers hooking with his took his breath away with the two of them getting relaxed in her bed.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her breathing growing loud again when she easily fell back asleep in his arms.

Cuddling in close to her, Joel felt the lump at his throat growing realizing this was the most at ease he had been in a very long time. What the hell was he getting himself into?

----

Tags: @jdmorganz @carolineesnell @ayumi-wolf @dilfsandmartinis @christinamadsen

@brittmb115

[sillygoblinantics]

I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

I’ve held my tongue for too long about my feelings on madhouse but fucking hell!

Unless by some fucking act of arceus or universe hands me the fucking concept art that went into this horrible webcomic- I got room to rip and tear!

This is:

Goblin’s Valid Autopsy of Lily Orchard’s PokéMadhouse

Before we go forward!

Hi. I’m Gobbo or Bri (pick ya poison), I’m a current student at Savannah College of Art and Design (as for campus I ain’t saying nothing) Im working on my bachelors in Animation and minoring in Creative Writing. My Concentration starting as 2d animation later switching it to Story and Concept in animation (back in 2021). I started in 2019 and it’s… 2024 now. Don’t judge me! I’ve been mentored by comic artist, storyboarders and many more in the industry! I’ve taken storyboarding and a plethora of writing classes to have enough qualifications under my belt to properly discuss the shit writing, lacking worldbuilding, disorganized plot hole ridden lore/arcs and horrible inconsistent art. So let’s not waste another moment and dive fucking in!

Story:

I’m not using Lily’s self review tvtropes to cover this. It’s disingenuous ego stroking at full blast.

We follow the highs and lows that are the “will they won’t they” relationship between the stated as sisters, Lily and her Gardevoir, G (yes that’s her fucking name). In a Sunday newspaper comic page esc structure. With bits and pieces of trivia and lore that rarely comes up if not to push and pull sympathy points for lilys self insert as she gets assaulted and violated in physical and mental ways. An arc being called “Violate” and later following the would be time span for gestation of a baby that would then become the labeled cryptid child.

I’m gonna be real there’s no point in reading it because the moment something big happens out of the blue there wasn’t a page missing to explain it which god fucking dammit Lily do I need to give you one of those brainframe sheets or outline templates if you decide to write a story? Because I’ll gladly provide them!

How do you consider yourself a fucking writer at all with your fundamental lack of care for lore and story like- for fucks sake woman it won’t kill you!

Characters

Lily

G

Mikayla

Marah

Bonnie

Mismagius

Other hardly seen or used Pokémon that get thrown away out of nowhere

Countless stolen ocs

And Dr Ponytail (yes that’s the fucking name of one of the “antagonists” and I’ve reread it so many times and found nothing!)

Lily has her “antagonists” being either ex friends or partners or someone who tries to call out bullshit! Fucking hell, the way Lily has g written it’s hard to not see HER AS ONE!

You have all these characters and you neglect so many of them to focus on making your favorite Dollies kiss and scissor or do nothing!

You don’t punish actual rapists either like legit what do you do when your Pokémon who’s been raised like a sister your whole life admits to mindfucking you in a weird soul bond type deal (that you wrote the explanation of yourself), then out of fear swaps dna of a Pokémon of her CRITICALLY ENDANGERED SPECIES can match with to save it with your own dna to baby lock you to staying together, what’s the thing you decide to write?

Case in point: stick an entire cactus up your urethra Lily.

I need a break from this… I’m moving on to the art misdirection.

Lily you are the one commissioning these panels from Mikayla. Meaning you are telling her how to draw these making you the literal art director of this shitty comic!

You want my advice?

USE MODEL SHEETS

Like holy shit. I need to copy paste my spiel about what it is one second:

Make a turnaround for your character(s)!

(Excluding front and back you need to make left and right versions of the rest!)

Front

Back

over-the-shoulder

3/4 view

profile

expression sheets

color pallet reference

(if it’s online/digital rgb if it’s for print it’s cmyk)

include the hexcodes for artists if it’s a small production!

lineup for height and scale for comparison to:

other characters

backgrounds

props

etc.

elements of the world + floor plan in small settings

action poses

hair guide (trust me it’s important)

these are the elements every artist who wants to tell a visual story be it animated or comic always needs:

✨A PITCH BIBLE✨

And Lily, if you’re making any story that is

A. Tied to an existing property

B. Has real world/geopolitical/historic relation

C. Needing a basic understanding to science

Do everyone and yourself a favor

AND DO YOUR FUCKING RESEARCH IN MLA FORMAT INSTEAD OF SOMEONE ELSES OPINIONS AND YOUR ASS OF HOLDING BULLSHIT!

Class

Dismissed

Your homework is to get these books:

[streamafterlaughter]

Soundtrack to Disaster

Chapter IX: Want This Like a Cigarette

masterlist | playlist | pinboard | prev | diaries coming soon

songs for this chapter: colorblind by movements (acoustic), guilty pleasure by chappell roan, grudges by paramore

chapter tags: yearning, angst, missed opportunities, miscommunication, all the fun stuff! drinking, smoking (weed, cigarettes), adult language and scenarios | fic tags: angst, hurt/(eventual) comfort, (eventual) smut, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, Eddie Munson x Fem!OC!Reader, Modern AU | This fic is rated 18+ MDNI each chapter will have its own content/trigger warnings

summary: you continue to piece together the mystery of your brother's sentence, learning little by little exactly what happened.

a/n: act I of god knows how many is coming to a close! things are about to get.... well. I don't wanna spoil anything. disregard!

taglist: @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @kellsck @faggotinie @xplrnowornever @taccobelle @micheledawn1975 @mewchiili @dreamerjj @losingmygrasponreality @munsonburn3r

DISCLAIMER: I do not consent to having my work fed to AI engines, or reposted in any way, shape, or form on other websites. Unless otherwise stated, this is the only account that features and contains this work, and any replication was done without my consent. Please let me know if you see my work elsewhere. Please reblog and comment to support the author!

--

You arrive at Steve and Robin’s a few hours before you’re supposed to leave for the concert. You feel the giddiness in your chest, the looming excitement of finally seeing one of your favorite artists live. That feeling quickly fades when you see the van parked outside of your friends’ place.

Inside the apartment, Steve pours four shots, one for each of you, and Eddie who’s lounging on the couch with a beer in his hand. You try not to stare, but it’s difficult to look away from the display; Eddie dressed in leather pants and a cropped t-shirt, his battle vest draped over the arm of the couch. His hair is tied into a low ponytail, revealing a dangly earring swinging against his neck. You clear your throat, feeling suddenly claustrophobic. 

“Bee! Come in! Have a shot, I call it the Pink Pony.” Steve gestures dramatically to the kitchen island.

You laugh, reaching to strip your jacket from your shoulders. “What exactly is a Pink Pony shot?” You humor him, knowing you’ll probably regret it.

“It’s vodka, pink lemonade, and glitter.” Robin deadpans, plucking one of the glasses from the lineup. “Steve found this drinkable glitter shit online. To me it just looks like Edward Cullen pissed in here.” She closes one eye, inspecting the drink, but ultimately decides it’s worth the risk and downs it in one gulp. Her face scrunches as if she’s in pain, and she shakes her head wildly. “Delish.” She gives an extremely unconvincing thumbs up, and Steve rolls his eyes.

“Whatever. Here,” He hands another glass to you, “I don’t think it’s that bad.”

You gesture the glass to your friends before throwing it down your throat, trying desperately not to wince as it burns in your stomach. “This is…”

“Gasoline.” Eddie adds from the couch. “Jet fuel, even.”

You nod. “He’s right. Steve, where the fuck did you buy this shit?”

“I dunno! I got an ad on TikTok.”

There's a collective groan from the three of you, followed by various exclamations of Steve’s naive purchase. “It might actually be vampire piss!” You joke, earning a giggle from Eddie that makes your stomach flutter. 

“You guys suck.” Steve pouts, crossing his arms in front of his chest. 

“Steve, baby, you’re good at so many things. Making drinks just isn’t one of them.” Robin gives her roommate a loving pat on the shoulder, and he surrenders. 

“It is not that bad.” He takes his own shot, and fails miserably to hide his disgust. “Fine, I digress. Bee, you wanna make the next round?”

You sigh, approaching your friends in the kitchen, and feeling Eddie rise from the couch behind you. “You know I’m not working tonight, right?”

Robin juts her lip out. “Please, Bee? We can’t suffer through another round of Pink Pony farts.”

Steve gasps, but you throw your head back with laughter. “Alright, fine. If it means saving the lives of my friends, I guess I’ll do it for free. Just this once, though.” You snatch the glitter from Steve’s hand. “None of this shit, though.” And you dump it down the sink while Robin holds Steve back from lunging at you.

Once the damage is done, you turn to where Steve keeps his alcohol, on the rack by the fireplace. You peek through his half empty bottles, returning with a few you can use. “This, friends and Eddie, is the Bazooka Joe.” You place the Irish cream, banana liqueur, and blue curacao on the counter. “It’s supposed to taste like bubblegum.” You eyeball the measurements, filling each shot glass with the liquids, creating a milky teal color. Your friends each take one, throwing them down quickly. Their reactions are mixtures of shock and pleasant surprise.  

Eddie is the next to speak. “I don’t have any drink recipes to offer, but if anyone would like to join me on the balcony for a joint,” He pulls one from behind his ear, “speak now or forever hold your peace.” His eyes meet yours then, and you can’t dismiss it as an accident. He’s asking you to come out.

“I’m good,” Robin says, narrowing her eyes at Eddie. “Don’t like to smoke before going out in public.” 

Steve starts, “Ooh, I’ll—,” but stops short when Robin shoves her elbow into his side. “I’m good,” he coughs, “You guys go ‘head.”

You frown. He knows your rule, but he makes that stupid pouty face at you anyway. “C’mon, Bee. Don’t make me smoke alone.”

Rolling your eyes, you secede. “Fine. I’ll make a one time exception to the rule. On one condition.”

“What's that?”

“No talking.”

—

He lasts all of five minutes. “This is stupid.” You shake your head, refusing to indulge. “That’s fine. I’ll talk. You can keep not-talking.” He hands you the joint, and you take it, inhaling sweet smoke as Eddie continues, disregarding your agreement. “I wanna apologize. For a lot of things, actually. Last night, that wasn’t cool. I shouldn’t have sunk to his level, I don’t know what came over me.” You sense him staring at you, but fight the urge to look at him. Instead you keep your eyes forward, staring into the darkness of your neighborhood. He sighs, and continues, “And I’m so, so sorry about everything with your brother. It wasn’t easy for me either, y'know. Chris and I were best friends. But I couldn’t not listen to him. He did it to save my stupid ass.”

You finally look at him, passing him the joint as you try to read his face. “What do you mean by saving your ass?” The riddles are tired, and you can’t stand the thought of never getting the whole story. 

He inhales before responding, “The cops already had it out for me. Since the second I turned eighteen, they waited for me to screw up. Pretty sure they had a bet on when I’d get arrested.” His tone is light, but you can see the sadness on his face as he recalls it. “I begged Chris not to tell you. He told me he wouldn’t, but only because he wanted me to. He made me promise to take care of you, and I broke that promise. You already hated me so much when you found out I snitched, you couldn’t even look at me. We stopped talking. I didn’t think telling you would change anything.” 

The information sinks into your skin, and you have to focus on a tree in the distance to stop the world around you from spinning. You cycle through the stages of grief on a loop, getting emotional whiplash each time you try to make sense of what Eddie’s just said to you. Finally, you land on anger and stay there. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

He shakes his head, bewildered. “What?”

“Eddie, if you had just told me all of this six years ago–”

“I couldn’t, Bee. I wanted more than anything to tell you, but I couldn’t get out of my own way.”

The buzzing in your head is loud, disorienting. “So you ran away instead?”

Eddie pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes closed in concentration. “Bee, listen–” 

“Eddie, please. Stop talking.” This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening. You slide the screen door open, returning to the warmth of inside, trying not to let your friends read the shock and pain written plainly on your face. “Okay, I think I’m ready.”

–

Lining up for concerts used to be one of your favorite hobbies. If a show had general admission, you’d park yourself outside the venue for hours, holding your spot in the hopes that the artist would sweat on you. As you’ve gotten older, you’ve realized it is definitely not worth the hassle of waiting outside all day, sitting on the concrete until your butt falls asleep. When you and your friends arrive at the venue, the doors are already open, and a bouncer is leading you to the VIP lounge, where you give them your names. It earns you a few glares from people in the general admission line.

“Swanky!” Robin exclaims when she enters the green room, which is actually pretty lackluster. The dressing room holds a long fold out table filled full of snacks and drinks, parallel to an old couch with garish print that you’re sure probably hasn't been cleaned in decades. 

“Sure, if that’s how you wanna put it.” The giggling comes from behind you, where Macy is leaning against the doorframe. “Hi, guys! Really glad you could make it.” She approaches you first, pulling you into an unexpected embrace. “Hi, doll! So nice to see you.” Something about her disposition puts you off, her smile looks plastic. 

Macy makes her rounds, greeting each of your friends with a hug before turning to her boyfriend. “Hi, honey.” She stands on her tiptoes to daintily plant a kiss on his cheek, and the grin he wears is wide. You squint at the couple, trying to read them. “Make yourselves at home, we go on in half an hour. See you out there!” She gives a wave in the general direction of the room, and exits back to what you assume is her dressing room.

“This is so cool. Eddie, hold on to this one, yeah?” Steve plucks a cookie from the plate, and Robin gives him an expression of disbelief. “What?” He asks, mouth full. She just shakes her head. 

–

The lights dim a few minutes after eight p.m., and the incoming crowd cheers with excitement. You and your friends are lined up across the barricade, off to one side to avoid the screaming teenagers only here for Chappell. You’re between Eddie and Robin, Steve on Robin’s other side yelling something in her ear you can’t make out. 

A backing track fades in as the band takes the stage, and Macy approaches the mic stand. “Welcome to the show, everyone! We are Statuesque Dolls, from Hawkins, Indiana!” Zoe clicks her drumsticks together, and they start in on what you can only describe as a pop rock power ballad. Macy’s voice is stunning, you have to admit, reaching octaves you could only ever dream of reaching. The audience gets into it, swaying and dancing along to the rhythm, heads nodding to the beat. Some kids in the front are even singing, never missing a word Macy sings, and she points them out with a beaming grin on her face. Though you try, you can’t bring yourself to enjoy the set. The music is right up your alley of taste, and the band’s stage presence is nothing short of incredible, but the feeling of Eddie’s shoulder rubbing against yours as he belts out the words makes your chest tight, and every time Macy smiles at him you feel a throbbing in your temples.

Finally, they end their set, waving to the crowd before stepping off stage. Eddie announces he’s getting a drink, and nudges you. “Come with me?”

You glance at Robin, and swear you see her nod, as if giving you permission. “Okay.” You follow Eddie out of the crowd, over to the bar where a mass of people have gathered to attempt getting a drink.

“That was good, huh?” You ask feebly, trying to make small talk.

Eddie shrugs. “Yeah, they’re really good.” His tone is flat, and you raise an eyebrow at him.

“What’s up with you?”

He shakes his head, causing his already frizzy curls to fly around his face. “We uh, broke up. Me and Macy, I mean.”

You can’t help but drop your jaw, quickly shutting it when, even in the dim room, you see him blush with embarrassment. “Oh, shit. Eddie. I’m sorry. Wait, but she kissed you like, an hour ago?”

“Yeah, it was pretty amicable. I’m not, like, hurting over it. The band is going on tour after this, and I have, like, no interest in a long distance relationship.”

For some reason, it pisses you off. “But you still love her?”

“Whoa, Bee. Who said anything about love? I told you, it was pretty casual to begin with. What’s got you freakin’ out?” You think you sense teasing in his voice.

“I’m not freaking out, I guess I’m confused. You don’t think she’s worth the effort?” 

He chuckles lightly as you approach the bar, ordering a cider for yourself and a beer for Eddie. “Of course she is. I’m not, though. She deserves better than that. Does it bother you?” 

You roll your eyes, handing the bartender far too much cash for just two drinks. “You just said it wasn’t that serious, why would you care what I had to say about it?”

“Do you have something to say about it?” If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he sounded hopeful.

You pretend to ponder his question, then deadpan, “No. Believe it or not, I don’t give a shit about what you do with your dating life. You might break Steve’s heart if you tell him, though.”

Eddie visibly deflates as you hand him his drink. “Fuck, you’re right. You tell him.”

“No! I’m not doing your dirty work for you, Munson. Time to grow a pair.” With that, you breeze past him, back into the crowd. 

–

“Thank you, Indy, I have been Chappell Roan!” The redhead onstage is a dream, absolutely stunning in a sparkly, pink, and complicated outfit. The fan blows her curly locks around, and you’d been so mesmerized that you’re only now registering the show is almost over. 

She ends with pink Pony Club, causing Robin and Steve to jump around, screaming their voices hoarse, and you join them. By the end, you’re sweating bullets, makeup practically sliding down your face.

When she leaves the stage, you feel the relief of the crowd leaving, their weight that had been pressed to your back for hours finally fading. “That was insane. She’s incredible. Ethereal, really.” Steve is raving as you follow your friends out of the venue and into the cold of the night. “Eddie, man, you gotta go on tour.”

Eddie shrugs shyly. “Yeah, I’m workin’ on it, man.”

“No, man! With Macy, be the tour wife! You’ll get to see her all the time, and Macy! Her band is awesome, I can’t believe–”

“Steve, Macy and I broke up.”

He stops in his tracks. “What? Why? What did you do?”

“Why do you always think I did something?”

“Because you always do something. Remember in high school when you wanted to ask-”

“Okay! Enough. For your information, I didn’t do anything. I just don’t want anything serious right now.”

It barely satisfies Steve, but he backs off with a huffed “Okay, whatever!” You look from the boys to Robin, who’s already staring at you, seemingly studying your reaction.

“What?” You ask her, and she shakes her head. 

“Anyone want food? I’m buying.” Steve offers, earning collective nods and mumbles of affirmation. Eventually, you end up at a late night diner, and Eddie holds the door open for the rest of you. 

–

You arrive home past midnight, eyes and limbs heavy with sleep. “I’ll see you tomorrow, right Bee?” Robin asks. You nod, only just now remembering you promised to help Steve set up his and Robin’s new entertainment center. “Okay, cool. I’ll get us coffee!” Your friends and Eddie all say goodbye, and the car pulls away as you enter your house, foregoing the shower you’re definitely going to need in favor of sleeping longer. 

When you’re finally cozied up in bed, your phone buzzes.

Eddie (block later): Thx for listening. Gn bee.

You decide against a real reply, instead tapping the Thumbs Up reaction, and locking your phone before rolling over. Sleep doesn’t come, though, despite how physically tired you are. Your brain is wired, thoughts racing by too quickly to focus on. Every thought you’ve shoved aside, rushing at you at once. Most of them are questions you can’t answer on your own; Why did Eddie tell you about his breakup? Why is he suddenly being so fucking nice to you? Has he always been this goddamn pretty?

You groan, shoving your face into your pillow to stifle the noise. Unfortunately, that telepathy you share with your brother hasn’t gone away, even after six years apart.

“Hey,” Your bedroom door cracks open to reveal Chris’s forehead, illuminated by the hall light behind him. “Can’t sleep?”

You shake your head before remembering you’re in the dark. “No. You?”

“Nah.” He opens the door fully, stepping into the dark of your room. “How was your night?”

“Really… good?”

“You sound unsure.” He throws himself down on the end of your bed, bouncing you up and down with the mattress. “What happened?”

You pause, unsure of how much Chris needs to know. Ultimately, you know you can’t hide anything from him, even though he’d spent the last six years pretty much conspiring with Eddie against you. “Nothing, really. We went to the show, it was fantastic. I had a really good time.”

“And…?”

“And nothing!”

“Then why are you groaning into your pillow like a child throwing a tantrum?” He snickers, and you whack his arm. “C’mon, something’s bugging you.”

“Yeah, but it’s gonna sound stupid.”

“You’re my little sister, everything you say sounds stupid.”

“Wow, Chris. Thanks, that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.” You sit up, tucking your comforter into your waist. “Seriously, you’re gonna think I’m insane.”

“Well, I already do, so you got nothing to lose.”

“It’s something Eddie told me.” He doesn’t speak, waiting for you to continue. “He said you told him to rat you out. That’s not true, is it?”

Your brother sighs, bringing his legs up onto your bed to mirror you. “Would it change anything if I said yes?” You huff, waiting for him to continue. “Bee,” Chris flops onto his stomach. “You ‘hate’ Eddie for something I told him to do. You iced him out because of me. I know you probably don’t want to admit it to yourself, but I am the reason you and Eddie don’t get along. I’m sorry, I didn’t think he’d up and leave you, I never would have expected that from him. He lo–” He stops himself short, then continues instead, “He cares about you so much, kid. I feel awful for ruining that.”

It hurts your brain, hearing Chris confirm that gnawing feeling you’ve had for days, since Eddie blurted out the same truth in a fit of anger. Now it washes over you like a tidal wave, suffocating you under its weight. “It’s not too late to fix things with him, Bee. I know he’s been a little weird lately, but I can understand why. Just, give him a chance to redeem himself. For me?”

“Chris, why the fuck would I do anything for you after you told me all that? You basically just admitted to ruining one of the closest friendships I have ever had, and six fucking years too late. I can’t just pretend that didn’t happen! Eddie fucking left because of it! I thought he’d betrayed you!”

“In all fairness, I told him to tell you, begged him even. I figured he had, until I got out. I had no idea he’d kept that part from you. I told you that.” He argues. 

It’s too much at once, you can feel your skin burning. “Get out, Chris. Please.”

He doesn’t argue, rising from your bed and walking to the door before turning. “I can take the heat, I’ve been getting it from you my whole life, but the kid did nothing wrong. It was stupid of him to run instead of telling you, but he didn’t screw me like you’d thought for so long. Don’t hold that grudge, Bee, it’s not worth it.” Before you can respond, Chris closes the door behind him, leaving you to be swallowed by the dark of your room.

[peachyfnaf]

Who are your favorite TSAMS artists?

GOD i have SO many, and i also have the worst memory imaginable!!! hold on let me like try to fuckin compile a LIST

@/polaris-stuff

^ I will never shut up abt polaris' art. she's so good at posing, lighting, texturing, showing emotion, literally the whole shebang. also once every two months or so she drops a piece like this or this or this that leaves my ass FLABBERGASTED ON THE FLOOR and thinking about it SO MUCH for SO LONG. polaris S tier frfr

@/zthesheep

^ Z CAN DRAW SO GOOD SO FAST AND IT'S SCARY. he's also hella talented at animating and pov/perspective-work and his art needs more attention rn or im gonna blow up this whole website

@/turbotasthick

^ GOD. TURBO IS SO FUCKING GOOD AT DRAWING THINGS THAT JUST KNOCK THE BREATHE FROM MY LUNGS. and theyre ALSO good at making things that just make me giggle and be HAPPY. like, the silly goofy bm and noface art they do?? joyous and whimsical, but when they DECIDE TO DROP A PIECE BASED OFF AN OLD VICTORIAN PAINTING THAT WATERS MY CROPS CLEARS MY SKIN AND CLEANSES MY SOUL? ascension

@/meemo32

^ They way they color and render things brings me so much joy and satisfaction, theyre also hella good at posing too. shaking around their doodles in my teeth like a cat

@/crees-a

^ GOD. CRESPA. I LOVE THEIR STYLE SO MUCH AND THEIR FULLY RENDERED PIECES STRAIGHT UP LOOK 3D SOMETIMES. THE SHEER AMOUNT OF DETAIL THEY PUT INTO EVERYTHING THEY MAKE IS ASTONISHING AND THE SPEEEDDD THEY DO IT AT IS SO SKJDFHSHDF YK? also i love how they're just an autism creature incarnate lmao

@/fablekitty

^ fable art soft.... fable art elicits me to me feel warm and fuzzy. looking at her stuff invokes the same feelings from me that those old 2015 fnaf speedpaint videos with fnaf music playing ovterop of them did. calmness and a subtle happiness

@/kuuchaos

^ another one who's specific style/way of drawing the dca just brings me so much joy. im a sucker for people who draw em with 3d noses. also the lighting MASTERRR. style that is so squishable yet so strong. oobleck-like artstyle.

@/milkyshea

^ THE SOFTEST AND MOST HOMELY ART EVER. also i could be wrong so dont quote me on this but i THINK milky draws on their PHONE and that. that is insane. thats coocoo bananas. milky how do u draw like that on your phone. milky what are they feeding you

@/frankie-funked

^ ART STLYE THAT MAKES ME GO "HEEHEE" EVERY TIME I SEE IT. ART STYLE THAT MAKES ME VERY HAPPY AND I LOVE THEIR FULLY RENDERED STUFF. GUYS HAVE YOU LOOKED AT THEIR FULLY RENDERED STUFF??? IT'S FUCKIN' JAW DROPPING AS HELL

@/momokooooooooooooo

^ god i love momoko's human tsams stuff so much. i love the outfits they put the characters in, they're always so creative and have such intricate details in them that i just find myself staring to inhale it all. ALSO CAN BE A PERSON WHO SUCKER PUNCHES ME WITH THAT GOOD ANGST SOUP WHEN THEY SO CHOOSE TO DO SO

@/paaatchm

^ JUST ANOTHER ONE WHO'S ART BRINGS ME JOY AND WHIMSY. their solar design? i love him, especially that one time they drew him with like a steampunk mecha arm. that shit was SO COOL and i just. something about their style is another one that just makes me go 'HHRRHRGRHGGGRHR" /VPOS

@/superstar8bongos

^ what am i to say? it's bongos, we all know that bongos is like. so talented it makes everyone clip through the walls. their way of coloring/rendering is incredible and if i stare at their art LONG enough hopefully i will be able to absorb their skills and have a fraction of their power

@/hazard-c-horror

^ I LOVE. HORROR ART. SO MUCH. HAZARD IS LIKE THE OASIS FOR ME IN THE MOSTLY FLUFF-FILLED/NON-HORROR LAND THAT IS THE TSAMS ARTIST DESERT. they're so good at making things unnerving but also hella cute at the same time? like, their OC, Hazard??? fucking FREAK but also omg thats an OUPPY. also how they do expressions w characters eyes my beloved

@/flufffydestroyer

^ THE best artist on this site to go to if you need to look at some art to perk you up and make you smile. art that is very soft and sweet and loving that will warm you up like hot cocoa on a cold winters day. i love all their trans sun and characters as babies stuff

@/samoftheswamp

^ the best tmgafs/teaps artist on this entire site and i will not be convinced otherwise. i love how they use shapes SO much, and also just their overall. just their overall everything. their puppet-master design??? hello??? put that in a museum

@/marshmallowcat666

^ artist who i have not seen many pieces from but every time i do i just go "!!!" cause' something about the way they color and pose (esp when they do multiple-character pieces) just makes me perk up. joy and whimsy

honest to god i have more but this is already so long im going to end it here solely for the fact that i, tragically, have to do other things than gush about cool artists. punches the air

[celuere]

Omg I'm a new follower but I love your blog so much first of all!! So many Arle content to feast on.. 🫣

I JUST SAW YOUR OC AND I'M JUST, I'm curious can I know her lore 😔💕 I'm a sucker for scientists, WERE SHE THERE WHEN CRUCABENA REIGN DOMINANCE OVER HOTH?? And she left when she was 14ー where did she go? Was it to Dottore? What did he do to her 😭 How did she become a scientist and does she enjoy itー

Hope I didn't overwhelm you with questions BUT I JUST WANNA SAY I LOVE HER SO MUCH 🤩🥰💕🫶💖

OH GOOD GOD SO MANY QUESTIONS WHERE DO I BEGIN AAAAA very happy to hear that you enjoy my works (and my cunty oc) so let’s dive right into it before i go back to studying!

Juno was put into the HotH when she was around seven years old as arle and clervie were already a part of the organization when they took her in and she stayed there until she turned 14 before crucabena more or less sold her off to a bunch of researchers because she actually wasn’t allowed to send her off to dottore or kill her (thank you pierro).

now for you to understand why she was sold off, you can take a closer look at her eyes and notice the common khaenri‘ahn pattern in them because SURPRISE!!! juno is actually are pure blooded khaenri‘ahn citizen and is- if we take it literally- 500 years older than arle but biologically she is two months younger than her. that is because as we know, time flows differently in the abyss so when the cataclysm happened she was a little over four months old, and when she was brought to teyvat- she was still four months old but arle was born six months prior to her arrival. (kaeya was also brought to teyvat by his father through the same way since khaenri’ah is also his homeland)

she was then dropshipped to fontaine right in front of neuvilettes doorstep who then sorta played lost & found with her until he eventually realized that her parents are nowhere to be found so she got adopted by a couple of good friends of his. so she had a a pretty chill childhood up until her seventh year.

yet on the other side of teyvat, three people were looking almost frantically for her.

now crucabena scooped her up after incident but very much against her will because of multiple reasons: her connection to the iudex, her almost quiet demeanor as a kid and the fact that she is quite literally blind without her glasses (we know from arle‘s story that crucabena sent „misfits“ off to dottore). she was a thorn in crucabena‘s eyes in SO many ways like that woman hated her guts and she hated it even more that she couldn’t even get rid of her. so she at least made it known that wasn’t fond of the little girl.

growing up in the hearth under mother‘s care was especially tough for her. when arle, clervie etc were sent off to meaningless slaughter or missions, she was left or rather locked into her room, where she had LOTS of time. now juno has always been way smarter than the average person so she spent her time reading books, her late parents greatly encouraged her young brain so she could already read and write on her own by the time she got snatched by the fatui and secretly got her hands on books regarding maths, biology, physics etc through peruere who was known as mothers favorite!

but who are juno’s parents? THAT is my favorite thing to answer and it also explains where here high intellect comes from because Juno’s IQ is deeply rooted into her dna actually! i feel so silly saying this but juno‘s parent is none other than one of the five sinners of khaenri’ah, Hroptatyr „The Wise“. we still don’t know like- anything about Hroptatyr, not even their gender so i sadly can‘t elaborate any further on this 💔

now to FINALLY answer your questions, she didn’t got sold off to dottore fortunately, but to her godparent Eilif who is also an OC of mine! Eilif is just like Capitano and Dain cursed with immortality and used to be a highly respected researcher and mage of the royal family of khaenri’ah and a very close friend of Juno‘s parents and was looking for her ever since the destruction of their homeland since she got fucking LOST on her way to teyvat and nobody knew where the four month old baby landed, she got eilif stressing so hard that they even got Capitano and Pierro involved☠️ Pierro was the first one to find her when her documents from the hearth landed on his desk and at first it took him a good five minutes of staring at her picture when he FINALLY made the connections. that’s when crucabena got the order to keep her alive and then lowkey thought it was a good idea to just keep her there for now.

Eilif then decided when she turned 14 to get her out of the orphanage for good and despite all their efforts they are keeping their actual identity and juno’s origin hidden from her so she thinks she just randomly got adopted by this 6‘6ft tall mountain who could rather pass as a harbinger than a morally grey scientist. they basically taught her everything she knows, she is a scientist with her WHOLE heart and soul.

also eilif and juno are part of the fatuis very own special research team which consist of seven other ocs so stay tuned for more own character soup😋😋😋

[justcruisingaroundrevived]

Hiiiiiiiiiiiii :3

I wanna say I absolutely ADORE your story’s about your oc and Bill..maybe if you aren’t taking too many requests maybe you can write about Vierla and Pete?

Maybe in a scenario where they are at a picnic, and they do some lovey dovey stuff <333 (words of comfort, kisses, maybe future wedding talk?—👀)

Would you carry me to the end?

Summary: Valrie and Pete have a quick chat of the future

Word count: 1.3K

TW/CW: none

A/N: MY FIRST REQUEST AAAAAA!! I was so giddy getting this! I hope you enjoy, as I loved writing for her <3

Vierla had been waiting for this evening this whole week. Supposedly, right here in Eltingville, there was going to be a meteor shower, and it’s going to be visible right at the local park.

Wearing a nice polka dot dress and white shoes, she picked up her picnic basket and packed a few nice things they needed.

Right behind, her boyfriend was sweating up a storm carrying some family size chips.

“Why…*heave*…why are we here again?” Pete huffed. His Chucky shirt was soaking, and he could feel his legs giving out.

Vierla chuckled and grabbed Pete’s hand. “Just somewhere special.” She continued to hold Pete’s hand as she dragged him towards the “special spot”

Pete doesn’t remember dating being this involved. Sure, watching those horror movies and seeing the final girl and her love interests pull together was cute he guess, but they’re usually accompanied by blood, guts, screaming, the whole shebang! There was action! Drama! Ladies being ripped apart! This? This was new territory for him.

If you were to ask him last year, he’d be smooching with the most popular girl from Eltingville High, after the laughter had died down, he would punch you right in the face. He isn’t dating material! Hell, his friends couldn’t stand each other, he can’t stand them! What makes you think he’d be willing to smooch over any girls, especially when he considered a-

“We’re here!”

Pete’s track of thought was cut off once he saw the “special spot”.

“Huh…you know, I’ve never been to the park before, so I didn’t know what I was expecting, but this is a nice spot.”

And it was! Surrounded by trees, it had a clear viewing area where all you got was the now yellow-pink sky. The place Valrie chose to sit was right in the middle, where you can even see some flowers start to bloom.

“See? I told you!” Valrie chuckled. She spread the “Evil Dead” picnic blanket before plopping herself down and reaching into the picnic bag. “Made you your favorite.”

Staring in front of Pete was a hoagie with lettuce, tomato and pepper jack cheese. He could already feel his mouth watering as he snatched it from her hands.

Meanwhile, Valrie packed herself a BLT, but she was more focused on getting herself the water she packed for the both of them.

“You know, I saw “Army of Darkness” this weekend.” Valrie began, “And oh my god, it was actually not that bad! Still weird that they decided to transport Ash back in time, but still a really good watch.”

“My question is, what was wrong with the simple setting in the cabin?” Pete questioned, his speech muffled, “Transporting Ash back in time just seems to me the franchise is dead in the ground, and taking the piss on it.”

“Hmmm…kind of. I did prefer the simplicity of the cabin and Ash having to fight the zombies, but this was still an entertaining movie, like “Bride of Chucky”.

That got a hard laugh from him. “Are you kidding? The only good part of that movie was seeing Jennifer Tilly, and even then she was just some stupid eye candy!”

“Hah! Yeah, she really just stood there while teasing a doll. I remember almost laughing my ass off to that scene honestly. Can just imagine the actress being forced to perform for the fool multiple times while the director just watches, making sure she’s doing the moves correctly.”

Valrie and him both chucked at that thought. However, Valrie also noticed her chest tighten up a little thinking about the two of them.

On one hand, for the first time, she found a guy actually interested in her interests. With Pete, she can feel her shoulders relax and not worry about having to play “Miss Perfect” all of the time and just be…Valrie; the girl who loves cheesy 80s horror films.

However, some nights, she stays up in her bed, wondering about the future. Nothing wrong with that, everyone gets scared of the future, especially when it comes to current things. It’s like a puzzle piece; she knows where to place her friends, family, pets, career, education, outfit choice, the works, but where would Pete fit in?

He’s the one piece still on the side. Every time she lifts it, she can feel herself hesitating before dropping all together and thinking about “next time.” She also knows there’s a chance he may be part of someone else’s puzzle completely, and that’s thought just stings her chest.

“Hey, are you okay?” Pete asked.

Valrie snapped back and reached in for the dessert: Black Forest cake.

“Yeah. Just my mind wandering.” She stated. He seemed happy with that answer, as he took a piece of it and started chowing down.

Valrie secretly let out a sigh of relief. Now just for the meteor shower.

5 minutes. 5 minutes before it’s supposed to start.

At this point, the food was majorly gone, the only thing being left was one value size chip, two slices left of the cake and a whole bottle of Sprite.

At this point, Pete was laying his head on her lap, feeling her fingers run through his hair (she notes how it was already thinning at this age). Valrie was simply letting out a hum when she all of a sudden felt Pete shift.

“You okay, Pete?” She asked.

“Yeah…yeah, just thinking about stupid shit.”

“You can tell me.”

“I’m afraid it’s very touchy feely. I don't want to be a sissy in front of you.”

“But you’re not! Pete, you can always talk to me about what’s bothering you.”

Pete took a deep sigh. “You know, my father ain’t too proud of me. All of my older brothers are doing masculine shit, ya’know? Sports, the gym, beating each other up, just like my dad would want, and I want to make him proud, but…”

“…but what?”

“…never mind.”

“No, Pete, tell me. We can talk about it. No one else’s around.”

“I don’t want to burden you with anything-“

“You don’t, so spill it out.”

Pete looked away from her, his eyes just gazing at the green field ahead of him. “I’m kind of scared of turning like my old man. The kind that gave up his whole dream of playing to just raise someone he can’t even look in the eyes for. I don’t want to be that, but I can feel myself looking like him more and more every single day.

“Even in the quietest moment, I can imagine myself in a future where I’m someone who’s lost all ambition in his life and reduces them to the worst moments of it…yelling kids, nagging wife, and me, sipping a beer and just focusing on the worst of the worst…what the fuck I’m saying? Am just talking out of my ass at this point.”

“I don’t think so.” Valrie stated. She stopped brushing his head and started to play with his fingers. She can see the cracked skin and mini scabs littering around the surface area. Not to mention, a band aid that was on his pinky and middle finger.

“I’ve always thought of things being different.”

“Yeah, like what?”

“Well…it starts in the morning. We get up and get ready. You’re working for a company, big or indie, as an FXS artist, and I’m working as a makeup artist. We live in a small studio apartment, no bigger than a closet.

“And we go on with our day. You do your job, and I do mine. You’re sweating your but off in those plasters and spray paint, while I focus on the little details. We just imagine coming back to each other and doing the routine.

“And I have a clear image of one evening; we’re sitting around a table, eating ramen in a cup. We’re watching our favorite cheesy horror movie, and it’s just us….enjoying each other’s company…”

“Wow, ya really positive about the future baby.” Pete admired the thought of that.

“Well, I’m always thinking ahead! Hehe.”

“Just one question babe.”

“Yes, Pete?”

“…do I become bald?”

“You’re not going to like that answer.”

With that, they laughed their ass off, barely noticing the meteor shower had just become, just enjoying the moment between them.

[loviatarsluv]

chapter one: lavender silk

pairing: Gale x f!tav (my own oc, Elara)

(takes place mostly after the events of the game with some flashbacks sprinkled throughout)

rating: mature

CW: (f) masturbation and (separately) (m) masturbation, fantasizing about one another and pining and yearning and aching for each other while being in the same house (I mean seriously guys)

in summary: After the fall of the brain, and her home having been destroyed in the chaos, Gale offers Elara sanctuary with him back in Waterdeep. She struggles to deal with the feelings she has been harboring for him and the guilt that she’d been the one to prevent either of them from taking the relationship any further a few months prior. Yearning and pining ensues

a/n: rewrite of this gale fic because I lost inspiration and motivation for it a while back but I miss writing about my sweet wizard man and also I want to write romantic gale smut !!!! I crave it I need it !!!!

word count: 6.8k

⋆₊⋄✧⋄₊ ⋆₊⋄✧⋄₊ ⋆₊⋄✧⋄₊ ⋆₊⋄✧⋄₊⋆⋆₊⋄✧⋄₊ ⋆₊⋄✧⋄₊ ⋆₊⋄✧⋄₊ ⋆₊⋄✧⋄₊⋆ ₊⋄✧⋄₊⋆

i.

She has always loved the color brown. 

It was easily one of the most overlooked colors, one so common you almost forget it entirely— one we so easily take for granted. 

Yet, some of the most lovely things in life come in the warmest shades of brown. 

A cup of hot tea on a chilly day while the rain pours and patters against the windows. The leather bindings of her favorite book that brought her boundless comfort more times than she could count on either hand, worn from the years of reading it and tucking it into her bag so that it was always at her side. The rough bark of the great oak tree near the tower in Waterdeep. 

She spends many mornings sitting on the roots of that tree, the large and weathered trunk shielding her from the harsh rays of the rising morning sun, either reading a book she nabbed from the library in his office or scribbling nonsense in her notebook. 

Occasionally her newly befriended tressym companion, Tara,  joins her, sitting beside her and allowing the sun to warm just the back half of her, basking her fur and wings in a beautiful golden glow. There are brown spots on her fur. She’s lovely. 

The loveliest of things, though, were the things she tried with everything within her not to think about— like Gale Dekarios’ long chestnut brown hair, or the silver streaks that adorned the dark waves near the top of his head like it were a crown atop a prince’s, and the way he would tie it back into a messy half updo that perfectly accentuated his face and neck. The small pieces of hair that would fall into his eyes that she so desperately wanted to brush away. His perfectly groomed facial hair that had matching gray streaks and how he’d run his hands through the bristles on his cheeks or rake his fingers through his hair when he was deep in thought. 

And his eyes— gods, his damned eyes. So warm and kind and full of a genuine sweetness that she’d never seen in another person’s eyes before. Eyes that seemed to read her so well as if she were a book he had read a dozen or more times, especially when she least wanted her pages to be turned. Eyes that when in the right lighting, appeared golden, like the richest honey in all of Faerun. Eyes that really seemed to see her. Many had looked at her before— few had ever really seen her. 

No, she certainly didn’t think about it. Not often, really. 

Only when his hands would brush against hers as he took the scroll from her hands that he kindly asked her to fetch for him. Or when he would utter a groggy but kindhearted good morning to her as he ambled into the kitchen first thing in the morning, the first light of dawn breaking through the parted dark velvet curtains that drape over the large windows, the golden streams beaming on him in just the right way to make him appear otherworldly. Or when she would fall asleep on the chaise in the study and wake to find a blanket draped over her body. 

Not often. Not really.

One would assume it would become easier after a while; to be in his presence and not ache at every smile, or every laugh, or every kind gesture he ever made. But it wasn’t a simple ache that could be balmed by rest and a special tea or a healing potion— it was consuming. It flooded her veins and extended to every extremity of her aching body.

Only made worse by the fact that the blame for her own misery fell solely upon her own shoulders. 

The thought of that night made her shudder— what a fool she’d been and continues to be. 

The others always teased her, telling her that the obvious pining was painful to witness to which she would shake her head and refuse to admit that every part of her physically hurt to see him struggle, or how badly she wanted to hold him until the stars burned out of the sky and shield him from all that threatened him. 

Selfishly, the original reason she’d given herself to justify ignoring her feelings was the orb— it was safer for everyone that way, at the time. 

Then when Elminster stabilized it she scrambled to find a new excuse, settling for the fact that he had been considering detonating the orb, as Mystra intended. 

It was to save herself from the heartache of loving someone who in a matter of days would be reduced to mere stardust and wasted potential due to a spiteful god whom she had once worshiped herself. 

Then when she had finally successfully talked him off of the proverbial edge, she was at a loss. What was truly stopping her from loving him as she knew she would whether she expressed it to him or not? 

She turned him down the night prior, but so much transpired in such a short time that the opportunity to rectify it never came to pass. 

And now, here she remained, reaping the bitter consequences of her own lack of communication. 

She watched Gale read a letter that Shadowheart sent for them as he sat at his large mahogany desk, his glasses balancing just at the end of his nose and his brows furrowed as he read. His expression didn’t change or seem anything other than relaxed as he read, so she took that as a good sign. She relaxed slightly into the plush cushions of the chaise, a weight she didn’t realize she’d been bearing lifting off of her shoulders. 

She lounged on her favorite spot in his office where she would spend hours reading and researching with him, or where she would sit as she intently listened to him bestow her with random tidbits of knowledge that he found riveting, his cadence as he spoke about it making her feel just as excited by it as he was. 

“I wonder how many more times any one of them will promise to visit before they actually do,” she jokes, breaking the comfortable silence. 

Gale huffs air from his nose, never looking up at her from the assortment of scrolls, parchment, and tomes scattered across the surface of his desk. “Knowing them, they have all got their hands quite full in their own lives. Especially Shadowheart. I imagine keeping Astarion in check is keeping her on her toes.” 

She chuckles lightly and sighs, leaning her cheek against the back of the chaise. “I imagine you’re probably right.” 

Another comfortable silence fills the room, as it often did while Gale busied himself with whatever studies he found pressing enough to indulge in, these days mostly consisting of vampirism and potential cures or anything to aid with the symptoms, at her request as Astarion outright refused to ask Gale himself. 

She typically assisted with this, finding her own books and tomes to sift through for any pertinent information that could assist in any way, but today her mind was anywhere but in the present. Each page she had tried to read looked as though they’d been written in unintelligible scrawl.

She quietly hops off of the lounger and pads over to the large open window on the other side of the room, perching herself on the windowsill and gazing at the vast expanse of the ocean below, the sun shimmering on it in hues of orange and pink as it began to set over the horizon. 

The breeze is pleasant and the faint salty scent of the ocean drifts toward her with the wind and fills her senses. Her eyes shut as she indulges in it for a few moments, feeling a kind of serenity that she hadn’t felt in a while. 

When she finally opens her eyes, she finds Gale has turned in his seat and is watching her with a peaceful grin on his face. She holds his gaze for a moment before she has to tear herself away as she squirms under his intense gaze. 

“Would you care to accompany me for a stroll? It’s a beautiful evening,” he asks, leaning against the back of the chair, his chin tilted up as he watched her.

Gods, give me strength, she thinks to herself. How could she ever think living in the same tower as this man was a wise decision? 

“It is,” she nearly chokes out, then clears the lump from her throat. “Almost reminds me of—”

“That evening in the Shadow Cursed Lands. When I showed you Waterdeep. This very room, to be exact.” He reminisces, his tone neither bitter, nor pleasant. She hadn’t expected him to bring it up, and the shock of it nearly caused her to topple over the sill and fall out of the open window. 

Great. 

Gale jolts in his seat, preparing to rescue her from her own potential idiotic demise, before she quickly hops down and plants her feet firmly on the ground and shoots him a reassuring glance. 

“I’m alright,” she holds her hands in front of her, her breathing uneven as she recovers. 

“I don’t think my heart can handle being around you, at times,” he jokes. His eyes widen and his face pales, and he clears his throat nervously before he continues. “I didn’t mean it that way, it’s just— that’s the second— no, third— time you’ve nearly fallen out of that window. I am beginning to consider casting an arcane lock on the damned thing.” 

I don’t think my heart can handle being around you.

Her stomach flips and somersaults as she replays it in her head a million times over within a second, despite him quickly correcting himself. Little did he know, she felt very much the same way around him, but likely for an entirely different reason. 

“Apologies,” she whispers, her eyes dropping to the floor sheepishly. “I’ve never been exactly graceful.” 

He sighs, silently chuckling and shaking his head. “So I’ve gathered. Though, you could always hold your own in battle, to your own credit.” 

He stands and joins her in front of the window, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back slightly as he mimics what she’d done just moments prior, minus the potential self-defenestration.

A stronger breeze passes, blowing back his chestnut waves and his lavish looking robes with it. His slightly aged and weathered skin bathed in the peachy hues from the sunset made him appear as if he’d been painted rather than real and standing just beside her. She shudders. 

“What do you say?” He asks, turning to her once again, his hands clasped behind his back. 

She swallows hard. The thought of a stroll in the warm twilight with him while she was in this state could potentially prove to be disastrous. She fiddles with the bottom hem of her blouse as it flowed loosely down her frame, her gaze fixed on a random point far off into the horizon. 

“I—I’m actually not feeling very well… I believe I may need to lie down for a bit. But perhaps… another time?” She stammers, her voice meek and unconvincing. At least to herself. 

Stupid, stupid. 

Gale nods, but is unable to entirely mask his disappointment, a slight frown gracing his features that would almost be impossible to notice if it weren’t for his always expressive eyes. Her heart nearly shatters at the way his dark irises resembled a puppy who’d just been denied a treat. Was it too late to take it back? 

“Are you well? Is there anything I can do for you?” He takes a step closer, concern replacing the disappointment in his eyes as his brows softened and his hand raised as if he was going to reach for her, before quickly lowering it and dropping it to his side. 

Her body stiffens and her back straightens, her heart pounding. How did she get to this point— where something as simple as him extending base level kindness to her was enough to affect her this greatly? It was torture— and the more time she spent with him, the more she ached to bridge the seemingly vast gap between them. To be close to him in every way, to tangle herself in him and pray the knots never loosen. 

But she had already accepted that she’d ruined her chances many months ago, and that it would be best to try to move forward until the feeling eventually fades as if it had never been present to begin with. That, for now, all she could do was endure. 

“I’m fine, really. I think I just… perhaps I just need a nice relaxing bath, some time to myself.” She offers, throwing it out meaninglessly then realizing that a hot bath sounded absolutely divine. 

An unreadable expression flashes across his face for a flicker of an instant before he recomposes, then smooths the front of his coat down with his hands and clears his throat. He offers her his usual warm grin, and nods. 

“By all means. Perhaps I’ll start dinner while you do. It should be done by the time you’ve finished.” 

She can’t hold back the thankful smile that teases the corners of her mouth.

She nods. “That sounds good. Thank you.” 

Without exchanging another word, they disperse, him retreating downstairs and her essentially running to her room to grab her towels and toiletries. 

She grabs two towels, one for her body and one for her hair, then the soap that she’d gotten the last time she went to the market to pick up a few of her personal essentials. The shopkeeper let her know that it was a special soap, made particularly with ingredients that had calming effects on the user. 

How appropriate. 

She pads out of her room, closing the door behind her and making her way to the large washroom at the far end of the hallway. 

Gale had a way of leaving his mark on every space he inhabited, and this one was no exception. 

The room was cozy, draped in various deep violet curtains and several houseplants that looked as if they’d been cared for by the most skilled of botanists, not a single dead leaf or weak stem. 

There were robes neatly hung on the wall closest to the large clawfoot tub on one end of the room— his robes. She mindlessly runs her hand across the soft fabric of one of them, noticing a small tear in the collar and a few scuffs and singed marks throughout it. She imagines what mischief he’d gotten himself into while wearing it, and whether she had been present for it. A smile creeps across her face at the thought. 

She tears herself away from her thoughts and his clothes (that still smelled strongly of him), and approaches the tub, turning the ornate handle for the hot water and watching it run, slowly filling the marble basin. She perches herself on the edge of the tub, staring blankly into the rippling water. 

She thinks of how many times Gale had probably done the exact same thing as she was doing right now— how he would sink himself into the water and finally rest his weary and aching bones, and wash away the stresses of the day even if it were only for the small duration of him being enveloped in the comforts of a warm bath. She wonders if he ever— 

No. Another thing she absolutely could not think about. A thought to avoid at all costs if she intended on ever being able to look him in the eye again. It was hard enough already as it was.

The tub finally fills just as she shakes her head to clear herself of the beginnings of what were certainly very perverse and not very platonic thoughts, thankfully allowing her to now focus on something else. She quickly disrobes, folding her clothes neatly and setting them aside on the chair in the corner of the room— a habit she’d picked up from watching him do it and knowing that neatness was his preference in most things. 

The room, apart from the heat radiating off of the water in the tub, is chilly against her flushed skin, instantly raising gooseflesh all over her as she peels away the thin layers of clothing she’d been wearing. The tile feels icy against the bare soles of her feet as she returns to the tub, reaching over and grabbing the soap off of the shelf she’d placed it on earlier as she begins to submerge herself. 

The second her body dipped below the surface and the warm water completely enveloped her, she felt all tension in her body release like it had never been there to begin with. She hadn’t even used the soap yet and she felt the calming effects of it from the smell alone as she dunked it underwater. Lavender and a hint of citrus. 

Sometimes she caught a whiff of lavender when the window in the kitchen was open and the breeze would jostle the lavender plant that sat on the sill. She remembered Gale telling her that he loved the smell of fresh lavender. Not that that was the reason she bought the soap. Not at all. Not really.

Her body sinks lower and lower into the bath until only her nose and everything above it remains above the waterline, her slow breaths causing ripples in the water. 

Her mind wanders back to him— picturing him with his hair down, loose and wet tresses falling over his face, tan skin glistening. The long column of his neck stretched, Adam’s apple bobbing with his head thrown back as he—

No, no. 

Gods. What is wrong with me?

She clenches her legs together, in hopes to subvert the throbbing between her legs. She leans her head back against the edge of the tub, inhaling a shuddering breath. 

Maybe this was what she needed— just a minute of bliss. Her own personal bliss. 

Against her better judgment, her hand slowly travels down her body, but in her mind it was his; the way his roughened hands would feel as they trailed the length of her torso. The way his fingers would feel as they chased her pleasure, coaxing it out of her the way one would coax an animal out of the shadows. 

Was he as giving of a lover as she pictured? Was he selfish? Did it even matter? 

Her breath catches in her throat as her fingers expertly circle the swollen bud where most of her pleasure resides, now realizing how badly she’d needed this. Release. Guilt aside. 

Unaware and completely lost in her fantasies, soft moans and cries fell from her lips, some sounding suspiciously close to his name. She couldn’t care less in this moment, she was already so close—

“Oh, hells!” 

The door had burst open, Gale standing slack jawed in the doorway for a second that felt like several before quickly shielding his eyes.

She gasps loudly, reflexively standing from the tub, before realizing that was worse than just staying where she was, one hand moving to cover her mouth in shock and the other arm shielding her chest to maintain whatever shred of modesty or dignity she had left.

“I— I thought—  your bedroom door was closed, so I assumed you were— forgive me! I just—  um—” He clamors over himself trying to make any sort of sense at all, never moving his hand an inch out of the way of his eyes, closing them tightly for good measure. “D-Dinner is finished and on the table waiting for you when you’re ready. Take your time.” 

He darts out of the room, slamming the door behind him and the sound of hurried footsteps down the hall preceding. 

What in the hells just happened?!

Her heart pounds anxiously in her chest as if it were a wardrum and she’s almost certain that she might actually die of embarrassment. That is if she doesn’t resort to drowning herself in the leftover bathwater to avoid going downstairs and facing him, first. 

That seemed like the safest option. Sinking back down into the water and staying there until she rotted away. 

She remained in the water for what felt like both an eternity and not nearly long enough until the water had officially turned cold, sincerely debating dunking her head under and not letting herself up for air to spare herself the misery of facing Gale after—

Oh, gods, how much did he hear? How much did he see? 

She groans loudly, covering her flushed and surely beet red face with both hands. Her shriveled fingers and hands serve as a sign to dry off, much to her dismay. 

Fine. The world’s most awkward dinner ever, it is. 

She quickly stands again and wraps one of the towels around her body, then the other around her shoulders for extra coverage before peeking her head out of the door, checking if the coast was clear before dashing down the hallway and into the safety of her bedroom. 

Once inside, she shuts the door with a loud click, then leans against the wood and sighs. 

Within one singular day, within at least an hour of each other, she’d rejected his very kind offer of a nice walk under the sunset, and he’d walked in on her in what could only be the worst situation for him to walk in on, and he’d likely seen her entire naked body.  

They had experienced their fair share of awkward exchanges in all of their time knowing each other, but nothing quite as catastrophic as this. What could she even say? Should she pretend it never happened? Should she apologize?

Her back slides down the wooden door until she lands on the floor with a loud thud, her head dejectedly falling against her knees as she pulls them to her chest. 

Accidents happen, and he just so happened to accidentally manage to walk into the washroom at the exact moment her fingers were inside herself and she’d let his name slip from her lips which he may or may not have heard. Things happen. It’s fine. 

She recalls him saying that her bedroom door was shut and that was why he assumed it was safe for him to come in. She’s not sure why him noticing something like that made her stomach twist and do flips as if she were tumbling very suddenly down a hill, but it did all the same. She wonders what other things he notices about her, if anything else at all. The thought makes her throat run dry.

With a huff, she stands. She paces around the room for another few or ten minutes before her stomach begins to rumble. Shit. 

She pulls on an oversized blouse that fell well past the top of her thighs as well as a comfortable pair of pants, feeling the need to cover as much of herself as possible to maybe cancel out the fact that he’d seen everything only moments ago. It didn’t work, of course, but it was worth a try. 

Realizing that he was probably sitting at the table and waiting for her to join him before he began eating, as he always did, she finally forces herself to face the inevitable. 

Perhaps he hadn’t seen anything. 

Hopefully. 

She peeks around the corner and sees him exactly where she expected him to be— the same seat he always sat in for any meals, opposite the chair she always occupied, staring blankly down at his plate, massaging his temples with his fingertips. He looks equally as perturbed by their encounter as she does, and she can’t tell if that is a comfort to her or if it made her want to run while she had the chance. 

She catches a flash of auburn and gray fur as Tara flies in from an open window and perches herself on the table beside Gale. He doesn’t acknowledge her physically, but utters a quiet ‘hello, Tara’ that sounds more like a groan. 

“Mr. Dekarios, you look as though you’ve seen a ghost!” She chirps, pawing at his bicep with concern. “Where is my favorite reading companion? Have you finally scared her off?”

Gale swats her paw off of his arm and shoots her a look of annoyance. “Not now, Tara.”

“Did something happen between you two? About time, I say. I do rather like having her around, you know.” The feathered feline continues, pacing in front of Gale and nearly stepping right in the middle of his plate before he scoots it away.

“I fear she may run for the hills like a bat out of a crypt after today,” He groans. “I’ve made a complete ass of myself. It seems to be my specialty these days.” 

“Mr. Dekarios, I may just be a simple tressym but I have it on good authority she won’t go anywhere.” Tara says, her tone meaningful and full of insinuation as she pokes and prods Gale’s arm once again. 

He looks at his companion with soft eyes full of despair, his entire body seeming to sag in his seat in contrast to his usually perfect and poised posture. “I hope you’re right.”

Silence fills the room as Tara comfortingly bumps her head against Gale’s shoulder, eliciting a sweet smile from him that makes her insides feel fuzzy. She waits a few moments more before exiting the stairway so as to not appear suspicious or that she’d been eavesdropping. Her steps are extra quiet as she carefully tiptoes into the dining room. Tara notices her first and greets her warmly. 

“Elara! There you are! How are you, my friend?” Tara calls to her, strutting across the large wooden surface of the dinner table to her side, sitting right next to her plate. 

She glances at Gale for a brief moment, his eyes boring into her as if he were anticipating something terrible to come from her mouth. She offers him a shy smile, then turns her attention back to Tara. 

“I’m well, thank you. I missed you this morning, Tara. Find any juicy pigeons to snack on?” She jokes, patting her head gently. Tara purrs and bumps her head against Elara’s palm, almost appearing to smile at the affectionate gesture. Gale’s eyes darted back and forth between his two companions rapidly, an unreadable expression on his face. 

She tilts her head at him in a silent inquiry, to which he simply waves his hand and invites her to sit.

“Oh, yes, of course. You’ll have to come with me some day.” She offers, and Elara chuckles. As silly as it was, she knew how sweet it was for Tara to invite her to join her for a hunt, regardless of whether or not she ever actually would. 

“I’d love to.”

The chair legs squeal as she pulls it out from under the table and sits, eyeing her plate and finding that somehow her food was still steaming hot as if it were fresh, while Gale’s appeared to have gone cold and stale. 

“I warmed it for you.” He says, answering her question before she even had the chance to ask. She smiles a grateful smile before taking a bite, not realizing just how hungry she’d been until the very second the food landed on her taste buds.

They eat mostly in silence, aside from the sound of Gale’s fork scraping against the plate as he pushes his food around. She wants to ask why he didn’t bother to heat his own plate as well, but doesn’t want to pry. Perhaps he just wasn’t that hungry. 

The echoes of something she overheard Gale say in response to Tara’s teasing linger in her mind, reverberating off of the walls of her skull as if he’d shouted them into the mouth of a cave. 

I hope you’re right. 

He hoped she’d stay. He wants her to stay. 

The sound of Tara taking flight startles her from her thoughts, catching a glimpse of the tail end of her as she flies toward the staircase, likely heading to her favorite spot in Gale’s office on a blanket right in front of the fireplace. The departure of what acted as the buffer for the awkward tension between the two of them made it impossible to ignore the proverbial owlbear in the room. 

“I should have—”

“I’m sorry you saw—”

They stare at each other for a moment, then both chuckle.

“You first.” She says quietly, her smile dying as she braces herself. 

Gale’s voice cracks nervously, and he clears his throat before trying again. “I apologize again— for earlier. I should have knocked.” 

She waves him off, dropping her gaze back down to her plate as she pokes and prods at the vegetables that remained. “Things happen.” 

He clears his throat, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “I just fear that I’ve made you uncomfortable more than once today.” 

Now her gaze is locked right on him, confusion coating her features. When he notices, he sighs. 

“When I asked you if you wanted to go for a stroll. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” 

Oh. 

Gods, why is he so damn considerate? 

“No, no,” she says, her voice softening and her eyes matching it. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable at all.”

It’s his turn to be confused now, his eyebrows knitted together and mouth pressed into a line. “Why did you say no, then?” 

What answer could she give him that wasn’t entirely incriminating? ‘I said no because I’m hopelessly, idiotically in love with you and you make me nervous’? Not a chance. 

“I… I’m just feeling a bit off today. It’s nothing, I just— I would rather not burden you with my issues.” 

He eyes her and suddenly it’s like she’s completely naked under his gaze once again, only she nearly feels even more exposed now than she did when she was actually naked. He can tell there’s more to it, but he doesn’t push. He never pushes.

“Well, do know that I’m always here if you need to talk. If there’s something burdening you, I don’t mind helping you carry the load.” 

Only there isn’t anything he can do to help— hells, even this conversation is doing the very opposite of helping. 

“Thank you, Gale. Really.” She smiles sheepishly. “I’m sorry you— you know.”

He waves his hand in front of him as he goes to take a long gulp of his wine. He barely finishes swallowing before he speaks again. “You’ve no need to apologize.”

Silence fills the room again. Lighter, this time, at least, but not lacking most of the tension it held before. There were things unsaid on both ends, both too scared to break the peace. So silent it remained. 

She clears her throat after a while and after she’d finished her dinner. “Thank you, for dinner. Delicious, as always.” 

“My pleasure,” He breathes, pushing his chair back and standing with his plate in hand. “I apologize, but I may turn in early tonight. Don’t worry about your dishes, I will take care of them in the morning.”

She watches him as he scrapes his plate into the waste bin and then places it in the sink basin, rubbing his hands together before turning to head for the stairs. He breezes past her and she catches a whiff of that familiar scent she’d caught from the robes hanging in the bathroom— sandalwood, bergamot, and a hint of old parchment. Something she would try not to think about if she weren’t reminded of it everyday that she spent surrounded by him, still feeling as though he were in the room with her even when he was away.

Just before his foot lands on the first stair, she turns and calls to him. He pauses, turning his entire body at the sound of her voice.

“Goodnight, Gale.” 

He beams at her, his smile reaching his deep brown eyes that she could see the twinkle in even from across the room. She swears she would be able to see it from miles away.

“Goodnight, Elara.” 

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Lavender. Gale loved the smell of lavender. 

It lingered throughout the halls and wafted out from the washroom for hours after her bath, and he found himself stopping just outside the doorway without realizing it, as if some invisible force was drawing him to it. As if that smell were a siren’s call, and he was a fisherman lost at sea being lured right into her claws. He smelled it on her when she came downstairs, her long azure tinted waves still damp and falling in her face, her skin still flushed from the warmth of the water. 

Selfishly, he could not get the image of her out of his head— the elegant curves of her body and the way it glistened as the hazy light of dusk paired with candlelight cast an ethereal glow that almost made her seem like nothing more than a conjured illusion. Though, he was sure no wizard would ever be able to conjure something as meticulously crafted as her, something that exquisite couldn’t have even been sculpted by the gods. 

The muffled sound of her voice from the other side of the door replayed in his mind as well; he hadn’t heard much, but what he did hear almost sounded like—

Impossible. 

It felt wrong and he felt the crushing weight of guilt on his shoulders for violating her privacy tenfold, and yet, his brain could not seem to let him forget for even a fraction of a second. He was incredibly thankful he was able to make it downstairs and hide his arousal under the table before she saw him again and was truly put off by him once and for all. He cursed himself internally for being unable to contain himself— one can’t always be a gentleman, it seems.  

It was purely a miracle that he managed to contain himself as he walked past her to finally retire to his bedroom after what felt like the most mentally exhausting day. It was a miracle every day that he managed to contain himself around her, really. 

Especially on days that she wore dresses— he adored dresses on her. He pictured taking her for a proper evening out in Waterdeep. Greeting her at the door with flowers, walking hand in hand and buying her dinner, showing her all of his favorite places in the city he loved most in the world, then kissing her goodnight on the stoop and smiling like a giddy schoolboy the entire rest of the night after they departed. 

He’d been enraptured by her from the first moment he laid eyes on her, that fateful day on that beach amongst the wreckage and chaos. Her face being the first he saw as he emerged from that portal felt all too fitting, as hers was the only face he had been able to think of or dream of for months now.  

Even after she turned him down in the Shadow Cursed Lands, his affinity for her did not subside. If anything, it burned brighter and brighter in the weeks that followed as she showed more care for him than another person aside from his mother and his tressym had done for him in what felt like a lifetime. As she did everything in her power to save her friends one by one, as well as the rest of the world. 

After it was all said and done and he’d seen that look in her eyes after the brain and the crown fell into the Chionthar, and all of her newly acquired friends had departed while she remained— he knew he could not allow her to think she had nowhere or no one in the world to turn to. 

While you’d think having the object of your desires right within your own home at all times would make things easier— it did not. It only further complicated an already somewhat complicated situation. 

He valued his friendship with her greatly, and feared that he would jeopardize it if he attempted anything romantic— but something was telling him he needed to try. To be patient and if nothing ever came of it, he would give her a safe place to lay her head at night. 

She was worth trying for. She was worth everything. 

Now, he’s tormented by her being so close and yet not close enough to touch. To occupy the same home as her, but never the same space was downright agonizing. 

She had become the bane of his very existence, only because every day she made it even harder to resist her. 

For example, the way she interacted with Tara— whom, mind you, generally disliked most other humans or humanoid creatures aside from himself and his mother— the way Tara greeted her with such ardor, not too different from the way she would greet him. The way she not only allowed her to pet her head, but even purred as she did so. Tara is many things, but easily swayed by people is not one of them. And yet, she welcomes her into their home as if she’d always been there. As if she’d been simply waiting for her to come home all this time. 

It had begun to feel that way for Gale as well— his heart ached at the thought of her finding her own place and leaving. While he respected her decisions no matter what they may be, he could not deny that he’d miss her presence in this house much more. 

He felt himself going mad. Absolutely and truly around the bend crazy over her. 

He certainly wasn’t proud of what he’d done the second he made it into his bedchamber for the night. 

To make matters worse, it wasn’t even the first time he’d done such a thing. 

The pained straining of his erection against his clothing was making his entire body ache along with it, as if it were punishing him for neglecting it for as long as he had. The second he released it from the confines of his pants and underclothes, a bead of precum leaked and he groaned. 

Gods, this is madness. 

Perhaps maybe if he did this, he could get it out of his system and forget about it all in the morning. Yes, he thought, that makes perfectly logical and reasonable sense. 

He clumsily strips his day clothes off apart from his underwear, uncharacteristically discarding it into a heap beside his bed before jumping into the expanse of the large mattress in the center of the room and making himself comfortable. 

He looks down at his own pathetically swollen and throbbing cock, and he almost wishes he could call her into his room and show her the effect she has on him. 

He pictures her long dazzling blue tresses fanned out across the pillows at the head of the bed, the way her tanned complexion would be complimented so beautifully by the violet silk sheets beneath her, her legs spread wide for him, like an offering. The way he’d devour her and drink her in as if she were the richest wine or the sweetest peach in all of Faerun. The way his name would sound cried from her lips in pure ecstasy. 

The thought alone was enough to bring him closer to the edge— hells, he was sure he’d been on the brink of orgasm for longer than he would like to admit. He was almost certain the second he began to pump himself into his fist that he’d be done for. 

He started slowly, hoping to savor it for at least a few minutes and give himself more time to indulge in his fantasies. His chest heaved and his cheeks flushed with desire. He had to bite down onto his fingers to try to keep himself quiet on the off chance that she would overhear him. 

Despite his efforts, he grunted softly as his pace quickened, now pumping himself with a steady rhythm that felt right— that if he closed his eyes, he could picture her on top of him, riding him like her life depended on it. 

That didn’t last long, as within a minute he was spilling onto his own chest and coming completely undone, chanting her name in breathy whispers over and over as if it were a prayer. 

He grips himself as he rides out the aftershocks until the sensation was entirely too much and he had to let go, his entire body going limp and exhaustion finally presenting itself to him and each one of the muscles he’d just expended in that process. He looks down wearily at the mess he’d made of himself, and throws his head back into the pillows. 

He wonders if her pillows smell of lavender. He imagines that they do. 

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[jules-writes-stories]

2024 Fic Writer End of Year Roundup

Answer and then tag three or more creators to keep the game going!

Thank you to everyone who tagged me! I'm sorry this is late. I've been working on it for days. It's really long.

1. How many words did you publish on AO3 in 2024?

366,893

2. How many fics did you complete this year?

9!

3. How many in progress or ongoing fics did you start this year?

I have 1 WIP: A Love That Bleeds and a Koschei x Eris fic that's not posted yet (but close to drafted).

4. What was your favorite thing you wrote?

I love all my babes equally, but I am most proud of Just Enough Light to Cast Shadows, which was my first fan fic, and a true labor of love.

5. What piece was your most experimental or different from your usual style?

Monster feels different from a lot that I've written. It's pre-cannon and examines Lucien and Eris's relationship, and is not ship-centered.

6. Did any fics surprise you - either while writing or their reception?

My Azris modern AU The Night Court Lounge really took me by the throat. It was supposed to be a slutty little spite fic and then it just took off. The boys caught feelings and I caught feelings. But I have @pippsmcgee to thank for hyping that story up. She was the brain child behind a big plot point, the pet names, and just talked me through positions and timing and what ifs... truly a gift.

7. Do you have a fic you wrote and loved that went under the radar? (This is your sign to reblog/repost it!)

Hmmm... not sure? Maybe my Amarantha x OC fic? It's hard to write pre-canon stories, especially for a villain! A Love That Bleeds is pretty dark and touches upon themes of slavery, love and autonomy, and is different from much that I write. But I am so proud of it.

8. Who is an artist that inspired you?

There are too many talented artists to list. Here are a few: @nus4y who makes Azriel's skin literally glow and everything just screams passion. LOOK AT HIS BRILLIANCE on A03 (NSFW)

@queercontrarian never fails to surprise me. Their take on the Court fashions, hair styles, jewelry. So much diversity and representation. THIS is one of my all time favorites. THEEESAN.

@palomita-de-la-sangre whose style is so unique and gorgeous and raw. This is what I mean.

@seihdacalling is immensely talented! Her Eris and pups and JEL Eris? AND LOOK AT MITHRAS (my beloved OC).

@bloodyplunder whose work is so passionate and full of color and movement. LOOK at this! AND (NSFW) LOOK AT JEL CHAPTER 25 on AO3!

@fourteentrout is inspired and talented. And all around incredibly kind and supportive. Just brilliant. LOOK AT FIRE SPRITE ERIS

@laxibbeb creates characters' faces in a way that hold so much emotion. NESTA is a favorite, omg... and AZRIEL IN STIRRUPS.

@elleybug @chunkypossum @lucychanart (who made me a Tamsand believer. God, this one?) so many more...

9. Who is an author that inspired you?

There are SO many. First and foremost, @chunkypossum who welcomes new creators with so much warmth and support. Every single story. Every word is magical. @iftheshoef1tz is another legend who is so kind and warm and wickedly talented. Every single story is perfection. Will they adopt me as my Azris parents? Maybe. Congrats! It's a shoe-possum!

@the-darkestminds is truly someone I could write a book about. The emotions she brings out with her characters and words will leave you breathless. If you want to feel, read her stories. You will walk away so full of every emotion, but also with a newfound appreciation for each character. And @mistandmemories whose Eris is the funniest, most clever, most lovable in the biz. Her Azriel makes me laugh constantly. How you ask? Shenanigans. Windows, pants, awkward moments of self doubt and a precious inability to communicate. Go read it. The plots, the politics. The WIT. The decades of delicious edging. (It was several chapters but gods it felt like a lifetime).

These two have been writing their own multi-chapter fics beside me this year, and without their friendship and support, I probably wouldn't have finished. ILY!

@pippsmcgee will never be rid of me and my neurotic little paws. This one just looks at a story, a character, a scene, and says "you know what will make it even more (painful, sexy, exciting)?" And you better listen. But she also wrote a beautiful story about young Azriel that inspired me so much this year.

@shadowsandlint is full of talent-- Her prose is layered with meaning and flows so naturally. I can't put her stories down.

@zenkindoflove For her OC Alexius, who is my baby forever and ever. Creating an OC is gutsy and brave and takes so much talent. She's got it all. Also stunning world building and dialogues! And don't get me started on Elucien...

@talibunny30 For her depictions of young Nesta and her OC Boudica. She shows so much of Nesta's trauma in a thoughtful and honest way. I love it!

@neciebee whose writing is like poetry. Every time I read it I'm like, wait! Come back. Tell me more. I want... more? Gimme!

@witch-and-her-witcher whose fics are so magical. Her Nessian is my all time favorite. Nesta, Cassian, the Illyrian culture that she built for us. Just stunning.

@born-to-riot for VAMREN. But also sexy plots, hilarious shadows, and fluffy Azris moments we need.

@acourtofladydeath for writing pieces that challenge readers to sit with uncertainty-- gray characters and grief that lingers but also carry lessons and hope.

@secret-third-thing for such perfect storytelling-- every word matters and every image counts. The descriptions and details are exact, the settings are lush and imaginative. Also, Artaban.

I could keep going... If you are not on this list, but I've commented or left kudos or bookmarked your fic, you've left a mark. If not, I'm coming for you in 2025!

10. Who is a new author you discovered?

@g00seg1rl who writes smut like a witch. A very sexy witch. @nus4y who is another sexy witch? Watch out for these two. @jolenes-library is so talented! Motorcycle Azris AU. Enough said. @buffy-vanserra whose prose is beautiful. Every word matters. @clockwork-ashes has so many lovely pieces I couldn't choose just one. @unanswered-stars for those damn letters. You know the ones. I'm still crying. @yanny-77 : Best Elain in the biz. And the Lip Ring.

11. Did you do any collaborations? How did it start?

@brunetterebel010 @mistandmemories and I wrote A Solstice Carol. It started as a lot of joking about Rhys being Scrooge. And it became a true passion project! @talibunny30 helped with brainstorming ideas and beta reading, and @fieldofdaisiies and @pippsmcgee beta read.

Also my partner in crime in all Azris fics: @pippsmcgee who talks me through plotting the political animal, asks the important questions, and twists the knife of angst. She keeps my eyeball obsession in check.

12. What accomplishments are you proudest of?

I'm most proud of Just Enough Light to Cast Shadows. It really is silly, but finishing it, right at the end of 2024, and looking back at all the new friends I've made along the way, and how it has touched other people just makes this year feel special.

Thank you so much to @pippsmcgee for helping me land that plane. And for being my very first comment, ever. When I saw you and @talibunny30 and @neciebee were reading, I felt legit. And to @mistandmemories and @the-darkestminds who were on this journey with me. It was so important to walk beside you during it all!

13. What did you learn about writing or creating this year?

Write was brings you joy. Comparison is the thief of that joy. You can only write your own story, and it's ok if it's not for everyone. Because a story that is everyone's is probably no one's, you know? It will reach the people it needs to.

Outlines are important (for my process). They saved my ass so many times. And beta readers. And friends. And reader-readers. They all saved me too.

14. What is your advice?

Surround yourself with people who cheer you on. Be sure to support other creators. The community aspect of fandom is important. We're all just out here putting our hearts onto the screen and hitting Post.

15. What are your creative goals for 2025?

Finish A Love That Bleeds, Finish my Koschei x Eris fic, and start plotting out a longer Azris multi-chapter fic. It's a little seed right now, but one day soon...

[erisweekofficial]

HOLD UP! It's time to highlight the amazing @readychilledwine.

Liz has always been a huge part of the Eris community, and was one of our biggest supporters last year. She has so many wonderful Eris pieces you can read (both featuring xReader and OCs!)

Her stories are equal parts heartfelt and kinky, so there's something for everyone 👀 (and don't forget the angst)

You can check out all her Eris fics here, but we're really digging Kissed by Fire right now! It's an Eris x ArcheronOC fic with a star-crossed lover trope. Please go give it a read! 😍

Read on to learn more about Liz's thoughts on Eris and which SJM series she'd give him to read! 📙

What drew you to Eris Vanserra as a character?

I feel like Eris is the closest thing to a true morally gray character we have throughout the ACOTAR series. He has an air of mystery and so much potential, and that, in my opinion, makes him deeply complex and fun to write for.

What is the most rewarding part of creating content about Eris?

Getting to explore the depth of his potential, honestly. There's so many layers and ways to write Eris that I don't feel someone could go wrong. He allows a huge creative arch for me and he doesn't feel stagnant to write.

Can you give me a name for one of Eris's brothers? And also for one of his dogs?

I headcanon all of Eris's full brothers are named after Greek gods like Eris to create even more of a separation between them and Lucien. A bit of foreshadowing on their mother's part. Hermes is my favorite name and matching personality I've given one of the brothers in one of my series. I'm also deeply attached to the idea that Eris has 12 hounds that he had split into 3 groups of 4. 4 for him, his mother, and Lucien, all trained for protection. Lucien named one of his hounds Cinnamon Toast, or just Toast for short.

Which SJM series would you give Eris to read and why?

Throne Of Glass. Unpopular opinion, it's SJM's best series. The plot, the characters, the writing. I feel like he'd enjoy the complexity and Aelins's story of her rise to her throne.

[bveckers]

Risk

"You can just talk and I'll stare at your mouth"

Morgan cheli x fem! oc

Synopsis: when genos granddaughter moves in with him abruptly she forgets that he was going to throw a barbecue for them she wanders downstairs and meets a certain tall brown haired girl

Warning: none

Word count :1071

oc: james auriemma

Not proofread but enjoy!

It was a relatively hot day today but she had no plans of leaving the air conditioned home so she slipped on some black wide leg sweatpants that she realized were getting too tight for her though she didn't want to throw them out yet and grabbed the matching black long sleeve shirt for the set while simultaneously slipping on her mini platform uggs.

Mornings were never really a James thing. She was aware of the fact it was almost noon by now and she had yet to get out of bed. Rolling over and grabbing her phone she quickly confirmed it was noon before texting eve to come over. Almost immediately her phone buzzed with a reply confirming she was on her way.

Making her way downstairs she did her best to be as quiet as possible. Ever since she had moved in with her grandfather she had felt like a slight burden. She knew she wasn't and that he would never think of her like that but the move had been so sudden and necessary that she couldn't help but feel slightly guilty.

Geno had always preferred to spend his summer days quietly reading or watching TV in the living room but as she got closer to the stairwell she heard laughter coming from the backyard. She realized that geno had people over. Peering over the ledge so she wouldn't be noticed she saw around fourteen girls spread throughout the living room to the backyard.

She quickly ducked so that she wouldn't be noticed. Instead of making her way downstairs she went back into her bedroom and made her way towards the bathroom. She had previously skipped brushing her teeth and doing her skincare telling herself she would do it later because she wanted coffee. Now that that option was out of the picture she quickly brushed her teeth and did her skincare.

Her hair was one of her favorite things about herself but right now she found herself wishing she was bald so she wouldn't have to worry about it. She figured her best bet was to put it in french braids so it would be out of her face. Suddenly she heard the doorbell ring and she realized she had forgotten that Eve was coming over so she quickly ran to the stairs before stopping and walking quickly instead in order to appear more nonchalant.

She winced as she opened the door forgetting that she would have to introduce herself to the girls downstairs and would most definitely be expected to hang around downstairs for a little by geno. For now she brushed that thought aside and hugged the only friend she had here in storrs.

“Oh my God I missed you so much” eve said pulling her into a hug

“Are they looking at us?” asked James already feeling incredibly anxious

“yeah”

James pulled back and took a deep breath before turning around. She was met with almost half of the girls gawking at her like she was some circus freak. It seemed that they weren't aware that genos granddaughter had moved in.

“Hi” she said waving at them “do you know where geno is” she questioned feeling slightly weird about calling her grandfather by him first name.

A tall blonde girl answered her “yeah he's out back grilling”

James quickly thanked the girl before grabbing Eve's hand and walking outside. As she passed by the other girls she smiled at them as to not make a bad impression.

“Gramps” she said, calling for her grandfather. He turned around

“James I was wondering when you were gonna wake up” he laughs before hugging her quickly

She leans into him and whispers “who are all these girls”

“The girls from my team” he responds as if it were common knowledge

“Ohhhh” she says realizing that's why there were so many of them and why they were so tall.

She nods before pulling Eve towards the couch. She sits down next to a tall brunette with long hair. She smiles at her before realizing that they both have french braids.

“Hey we’re matching” she says enthusiastically pointing back and forth at their hair. The girl giggles before turning a slight shade of pink.

“Yeah we are” she replies with the same enthusiasm “ did you do them yourself” she asks tilting her head slightly

James nods in response “ I wish I could french braid that good” the girl says sighing

“I could teach you some day” James replies smiling at her

“I would love that” she exclaimed

“So” James said, pausing for a second before continuing “can I get your number?”

Of course you can” she replied blushing

James pulled out her phone and opened her contacts and handed her the phone. She quickly put in her number as well as her name and handed it back

“Morgan?” James said confirming her name

“Pretty name” she quickly added in a desperate attempt to flirt. Morgan looked at her and nodded

“I'm james”

“Pretty name”

They both giggled before Morgan pulled out her phone and gave it to James so she could put her number in as well. As James handed the phone back she said “it was nice meeting you but we're gonna go upstairs now” motioning between her and eve “you're welcome to come it's the first door on the right side of the stairwell”

“yeah maybe” Morgan replied leaning back and putting her arms behind her back, which James found far too attractive. She quickly nodded before turning about hoping that Morgan hadn't noticed the blush that crept over her face.

Before she walked inside she looked over at her grandfather who gave her a look and motioned at Morgan as if asking “what's all that about��� rather than going over to talk to him she just shrugged. She figured she could tell him later.

She was pretty sure he wouldn't have a problem with her talking to or even possibly dating one of his players. She felt herself flush at the idea of possibly dating her. As soon as Eve and her stepped into the room they started jumping around.

“YOU GOT A HOT GIRLS NUMBER” eve screamed at at top of her lungs

“ I GOT A HOT GIRLS NUMBER” James repeated before her face dropped at the realization that they were screaming. She quickly shushed Eve before they both fell to the floor laughing.

[idaisyy]

Tag , you’re in - a cmpunk x oc enimies to lovers

-chapter 65

As they sat in the locker room, Daisy lacing up her boots while Punk leaned against the bench beside her, he ran a hand through his long, black hair and sighed.

"I'm thinking about cutting it off," he muttered, almost casually.

Daisy's head snapped up so fast he thought she might give herself whiplash. "What?"

Punk smirked at her reaction, but she looked genuinely distraught. "Yeah, I don't know. I've had it long for years. Kinda feels like it's time for a change, y'know?"

Daisy stared at him like he'd lost his mind. "No, I don't know. Why the hell would you want to do that?"

Punk shrugged, clearly amused. "I don't know. Feels like a fresh start or some shit."

Daisy scoffed, grabbing his wrist to stop him from absentmindedly tugging at a loose strand. "That's insane. Your long hair is—" she hesitated, searching for the right words, before blurting out, "perfect."

Punk raised an eyebrow. "Oh yeah?"

She nodded firmly. "Yes! It's your thing. The long, messy, kinda greasy rockstar-looking hair. It works for you."

He smirked, leaning in slightly. "You just like pulling on it."

Daisy rolled her eyes, but the way her cheeks flushed gave her away. "I mean, yeah, obviously. But that's not the point."

Punk chuckled, tilting his head at her. "So you'd be upset if I chopped it off?"

"Yes," she said without hesitation. "Very."

Punk pretended to consider it, rubbing his jaw. "Hmm... maybe I should do it then, just to piss you off."

Daisy smacked his arm. "I swear to God, if you cut it, I will fight you."

He grinned. "You fight me every day."

"Yeah, but this time, I won't hold back," she warned.

Punk laughed, reaching out to wrap a lock of his hair around his finger. "Alright, alright. I'll think about it."

Daisy eyed him suspiciously. "No, you'll not think about it. You'll keep your hair exactly the way it is."

Punk smirked. "We'll see."

Daisy huffed, still glaring at him. But deep down, she had a feeling she might have just saved his hair—at least for now.

As they stood in the hallway, waiting for their cue to head to the ring, a couple of wrestlers walked up to them, striking up a conversation.

"Man, I forget how many tattoos you have until I actually stop to look," one of the guys said, nodding at Punk's ink-covered arms. "You ever counted how many you have?"

Punk smirked, glancing down at his arms like he hadn't already memorized every single piece of artwork on his skin. "Lost track a long time ago."

Daisy, standing beside him with her arms crossed, scoffed. "That's a lie. You know exactly how many you have."

Punk shot her a look. "Fine. Maybe I do. But I'm not gonna say it now just to prove you right."

One of the wrestlers laughed. "Daisy, you got a favorite one?"

Daisy perked up at the question, glancing at Punk's tattoos before pointing at one near his wrist. "This one. The 'Straight Edge' one with the X. It's classic, and it's him."

Punk arched a brow. "Out of all my tattoos, that's your favorite?"

She shrugged. "It's the most you. Plus, I like the meaning behind it."

One of the guys nodded. "Yeah, that one's pretty iconic."

Daisy tilted her head, looking at Punk curiously. "You ever gonna get any more?"

Punk considered it for a moment, then shrugged. "Maybe. If I find something that means enough."

Daisy smirked. "What, like a big portrait of my face on your back?"

Punk snorted. "Yeah, let me get that in between the Pepsi logo and the cobra. Real tough guy move."

Daisy laughed. "Hey, it would be an honor."

One of the wrestlers chuckled. "If he ever does, we'll know he's really caught feelings."

Punk rolled his eyes. "Yeah, don't hold your breath."

Daisy just grinned, nudging his arm. But deep down, she couldn't help but wonder what kind of tattoo would mean enough to him to get permanently inked next.

POST MATCH

As Daisy and Punk stood victorious in the ring, catching their breath after a hard-fought match, the sound of No Chance in Hell blasted through the arena speakers. The crowd erupted into a mix of cheers and boos as Vince McMahon strutted onto the stage, microphone in hand, a smug expression plastered across his face.

Daisy exchanged a confused glance with Punk, who furrowed his brows, already sensing that whatever was coming wasn't good. Vince didn't just show up unannounced unless he had something dramatic planned.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Vince's voice boomed through the arena. "Let's give a round of applause to your winners tonight—CM Punk and Daisy!"

The audience cheered, but Daisy remained wary, gripping the ropes while Punk stood beside her, arms crossed.

"But you see," Vince continued, pacing across the stage, "I couldn't help but think back to a time when Daisy wasn't standing next to him." He gestured toward Punk, his tone taunting. "No, no, no. I remember a different Daisy. A Daisy who stood by the side of two other men. Two men who made her who she is today—Jeff and Matt Hardy."

The mention of their names sent a wave of nostalgia through the crowd, chants of "Hardy! Hardy!" rippling through the arena.

Daisy's stomach twisted. She hadn't been with the Hardys in a long time, but Vince had a way of digging up the past and using it like a weapon.

"Now, I've been watching," Vince continued, stroking his chin as he took a few more steps forward. "And I see you running around with Punk like you two are some unstoppable force. But let's not forget, Daisy—before CM Punk, there were the Hardys. Basically Your brothers.

Daisy tensed. "Vince, what are you getting at?" she asked, gripping the mic Punk handed her.

Vince smirked. "I'm getting at the fact that it's time for you to make a choice." He let the words hang in the air, the tension thickening. "Do you stand by the side of CM Punk, or do you go back to where you truly belong—with Jeff and Matt?"

The crowd gasped.

Daisy's eyes widened as she turned to Punk, who clenched his jaw, his body stiff. She could see the flicker of something dangerous in his expression, but he didn't say anything. This was her battle.

"You want me to choose right now?" she asked, her voice filled with disbelief.

Vince nodded. "Right here, right now. The world is watching. No more playing both sides. You're either with the Hardys... or with Punk."

The entire arena buzzed with anticipation. Jeff and Matt hadn't even been around lately, but Vince was making this an ultimatum. Daisy swallowed hard, her heart pounding in her ears.

She turned toward Punk, who still hadn't moved. His dark eyes met hers, something unreadable behind them. He wouldn't beg her to stay with him—she knew that. But she could also tell that, despite his usual cocky demeanor, he cared what she would say next.

Daisy took a deep breath. This was her choice. And she was about to make it.

The entire arena held its breath, waiting for Daisy's answer. She felt the weight of every pair of eyes in the building locked onto her, waiting for her to make her choice.

Her mind raced. She thought back to the conversation with Jeff the other day—how he had pulled her aside in front of Punk, how he had tried to convince her to come back and tag with them again. She remembered the way Punk had stood there, tense and brooding, his fists clenched at his sides as he tried to act like he didn't care. But she knew better.

Then came the memories—the years she had spent with Jeff and Matt, traveling together, wrestling together, being a family. Jeff was her best friend. Losing him had hurt. She missed him. She missed the wild, carefree energy of being part of the Hardys. Being with them had shaped her career, had made her who she was.

But then... she thought about Punk.

She thought about how much had changed since she started tagging with him. How much he had changed. How much she had changed. The way he had taken her to breakfast, found a theater playing her favorite movie, taken her to a fancy dinner—all without expecting anything in return. The way he had pushed the bill toward her just to remind her that this was a date, that he had thought about her, had remembered what she had said all those months ago.

And then, for just a second, she let herself imagine what it would feel like to not be around him anymore. To go back to her old life, to stand beside Jeff and Matt again—but without Punk. Without his sarcasm, his stubbornness, his stupid smirks, his hands on her, his late-night confessions, his everything.

Her stomach twisted.

She looked up at Punk. He was staring at her, his expression unreadable, but she could see it—he was bracing himself. Preparing for the inevitable. Of course she would choose Jeff. That's what Punk thought. That's what everyone thought.

But they were wrong.

Daisy took a deep breath, then reached out and grabbed Punk's hand.

"I choose Punk."

The moment the words left her mouth, the arena erupted. Fans were on their feet, some cheering, some booing, but all reacting.

Punk's entire body went rigid. His eyes snapped down to their joined hands, then back to her face, like he didn't quite believe what he had just heard.

Vince raised a single eyebrow, clearly surprised. "You're sure?" he asked, testing her. "You're choosing him over—"

"Yes," Daisy cut him off. She squeezed Punk's hand tighter, her voice firm. "I'm sure."

Punk finally snapped out of his stunned silence, and in true Punk fashion, he turned toward Vince with a cocky smirk. "Well, there you have it, old man," he said, wrapping an arm around Daisy's shoulders and pulling her close. "She's with me."

Vince scowled but didn't argue. Instead, he let out a dismissive scoff and turned to leave, clearly not getting the drama he had hoped for.

As soon as Vince disappeared backstage, Punk turned to Daisy, still looking at her like he couldn't believe what had just happened. "You chose me," he muttered, almost to himself.

Daisy rolled her eyes, playfully nudging his chest. "Of course I did, dumbass."

A slow, satisfied grin spread across Punk's face. Then, without warning, he grabbed her by the waist, lifted her off the ground, and kissed her—right there, in the middle of the ring, in front of everyone.

As soon as Punk's lips crashed onto Daisy's, the entire arena exploded. The crowd erupted into cheers, a mix of shocked gasps, deafening screams, and playful "Ooooh!" reactions from the fans.

The commentators went insane.

"Oh my god! Did that just happen?!" one of them shouted.

"CM Punk just kissed Daisy in the middle of the ring! Are we witnessing the start of something bigger here?!"

"This is unbelievable! Daisy had the chance to reunite with her longtime best friend Jeff Hardy, and instead, she chose Punk—and now this?!"

The camera panned across the crowd, capturing the wide-eyed, open-mouthed reactions of fans losing their minds.

Punk didn't let up. He kissed her hard, his hand gripping the back of her head, fingers tangling in her hair. Daisy melted into it, her arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him even closer. It was raw, messy, real—not some staged, overly dramatic wrestling moment. This was them.

When they finally broke apart, both of them slightly breathless, Punk smirked down at her, still holding her close. "Well," he muttered, just loud enough for her to hear over the chaos of the arena. "Guess we just gave 'em something to talk about."

Daisy huffed a laugh, her forehead resting against his. "Yeah," she murmured. "I think we did."

The moment would be replayed for weeks. GIFs would flood social media within minutes. But in that moment, none of that mattered.

Because, for the first time, everyone knew—Daisy and Punk were undeniable.

[clownhara]

is there like a jester ocs 101 i do wanna learn about them

Putting these under a read more because this might get long

My family :)

Edward Roberts-Rosales: I made too many jokes about this bastard being my dad and now he's my dad. High key wants to fuck plants. Evades taxes like no ones business. Kind of a shit guy but it's funny to watch him mess up everything so we keep him alive for that alone Max Rosales: My better dad. Can really do so fucking much better than Edward but he settled </3. Is a plant man. Likes baking. Is the dad that actually loves me. Heron Rosales: I don't do to much with her but I'm trying to do more. Max's trans sister. Wants Edward dead and honestly, we don't blame her. Average chronic pain haver tbh please get her some Ibuprofen. Boaty McBoatface: My brother who is a boat. Edwards favorite son, despite being terrified of being on boats after he was the sole survivor of a ship wreck. I fuckinh hate this thing

Project Moon adjacent ones

Despise Domek (Or just Des): Local Enkphalin hooked rat. Goes by it/they but people close to it can call them she/her. There are two remaining people who can call them she/her. Steals things from people it likes to keep a piece of them, so don't invite them to your house. Things WILL go missing. Says the phrase "Well it didn't kill me so I'm fine" way to god damn often. Ambrose Domek: Not actually related to Des at all his parents just stole Des's parents last name. We heart religious fanaticism to the point of self harm!!!!!! Has two boyfriends and has convinced himself neither of them like him. Him and Des are besties :) Keith: Real Jester-heads remember Keith. I made this bastard before Ruina came out and he keeps fucking staying relevant to whatever game is out. How does he do it. Lobcorp him is Geb and Myo's adopted son, a Rabbit, and had a complex where he's gotta prove himself 24/7 and ends up getting his leg ripped off. Ruina him is trying to find Gebura again after the whole Library situation happened, and is wildly distraught after learning Myo's whole deal. Limbus Keith is content, much older, runs a weapons shop, and is gay married to Heathcliff. Jesus Christ I made him before the new translation of Lopcorp happened I think HOW LONG HAS HE EXISTED WHAT THE FUCK

Damien Domek: Also not related to Des, just took it's last name because he liked it. They are qprs though. Also is broke as shit but mostly stays out of the Rat lifestyle by just old fashioned robbing people. Loves lying to people for fun and profit, but he is honestly a pretty nice guy. Minus the lying

Randos

Arlo: Disgusting rancid cyborg scientist who needs to bathe and touch grass. I adore him though. Ellie: Arlos little sibling. She/they user. Kills people for money and feeds the bodies to the eldritch horror that follows her around Hector: The eldritch horror that follows Ellie around. usually just looks like a dilf tbh its easier for Ellie to explain. Can't actually speak so he usually just talks telepathically while making a bunch of hums, chirps, and clicks to mimic speaking.

Oleander: Local unethical scientist that unethicaled a bit too hard when trying to revive his even worse older brother and turned off most of his emotions manually to avoid coping with the mental toil. Sad! Many such cases. Can't feel any emotions other then joy now. Kinda sucks but he certainly doesn't seem to upset about it :)

Simon: Oleadners brother. Kinda. Moreso a robot piloting Oleanders brothers body. Fucking hates Oleander but after Oleander lobotomized himself Simon begrudgingly takes care of him now. Despite his complicated feelings, he's wildly overprotective.

Cybel: A robot Oleander made! They are meant to gather as much information as they possibly can in case some horrible event happens that kills off humanity. is quite literally indestructible. Likes ice cream.

Octavius: I made this guy to be a danganrompa villain back in high school and I succeeded too well. I fucking hate this fake ass bitch

Tabb: This fucking guy. Trapped in a time loop but he doesn't know and its technically not a time loop. Met his (now) husband ages ago but died shortly after meeting him, so he revived Tabb, then the two got married, then Tabb died again so Halt (the husband) revived him again but he lost his memories then halt died and Tabb revived him the Tabb died again so Halt revived him but he lost all his memories so they dated again and got remarried then Tabb died again and you get the idea. Very nice guy, a bit anxious, perfectly normal minus the dying thing. If it wasn't for him losing all his memories and Halt tampering with shit so he was in love with him i uh. Don't think he'd actually like Halt all that much tbh

Halt: Just wants to be happy with his husband :(. Sad he unethicaled all over that science. Hey are you noticinga theme here. Also he's a cat boy but thats really not relevant to his depression issues

Urge: Halts kinda milfy twin sister. Really sick of all of this loop bullshit because she gets to watch her bestie Tabb die repeatedly, so she packed up her bags and left. Can't be in the same room as Halt without them getting into a fist fight. Do you see the themeing with their namesan d their ideals. Halt is kinda halted in place but Urge keeps pushing forward because she has the urgeto move on. Do you see it. It is almost 1 am

Russel: A kid that got roped into this whole mess because he walked in on a Tabb revival tube without permission. Sticks around Urge most of the time. Had a bad homelife to put it mildly, so Urge took him in.

Theres way more of these bastards but these are the most relevant ones. I am going to bed now. Goobnight