#god i am so pleased with this jesus christ
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Not me debating writing an Aventio fic based on a book I really loved... urgh-
I got Aven recently and just finished his arc in Penacony and I am incredibly bored! I wanna write while I have the energy...
Lemme know if I should :p
Basic premise is its based on a book called Written In Red, which I feel absolutely fits Aventurine??? Look at the book first, give it a read, and tell me the main character doesn't remind you of him. I will go feral.
Anyways if you don't, the premise of the book is that the main character, a blood prophet who is also a slave, escapes and runs away from captivity to a town in order to hide and live amongst sentient predators called "Others", basically ancient as fuck monsters that can swap between animal and human forms. Others actually do prey on humans, but it's modern times and they have a begrudging agreement to coexist with humans because they make decent stuff that the Others can't create. The main character ends up living among them and figures out herself, while also teaching the Others some new things. It's actually a nice book in my opinion.
I'd have to reread the book but yeah. That would be the very basic idea. I already have a character list of who is who lmao.
I wouldn't make it a carbon copy of the book though, not with the characters I have in mind, but it would be a similar plot at least. Consider giant wolf Ratio, everybody, that's all I'm giving you.
So...
EDIT: Holy crap that's like 50 people and it hasn't even been a day-
Here you go ya feral bastards jesus-
Warnings for gore, violence, blood, people get torn apart and eaten you have been warned. (Can only be viewed if you have an account)
Enjoy
#hsr#aventio#ratiorine#honkai star rail#should i write it or not? honestly leaning for it but also ive never written for hsr...#mind you i have a good idea of the personalities but dear god how am i gonna write Ratio correctly??#dude has the kind of long ass monologuing speech that puts me to sleep the way my mom does#i love ratio to bits but also i want to shake him and tell him to talk NORMALLY PLEASE#aventurine will be SO fun to write tho- vibrating as we speak bc i am going to torture this man a lil more#theyre my fave ship currently- also we underestimate acheron/aven friendship#adding on the fact that the original characters in the book kinda fit too and i really dont have to do too much lmaoooo#also jesus fuckign christ 30 votes for hell yeah in an hour??? fuck it ill write it holy-#ill try to get through most of the book before i post anything bc i am editing and adding and changing a bunch of crap from the book i hate#im not shying from the gore tho. its a gory book#warning yall now bc there will be graphic violence tags and people being eaten and not in the fun way
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Okay Arcane Season 2 Final reaction -Episode 7
I am freaking the FUCK out
In case anyone is wondering, Jinx is my favorite, I want happiness for her, don’t get me wrong I love all the others but if she’s not happy by the end of this you won’t ever see me again
Opening vinyl-I literally stopped breathing ID THAT EKKO AND JINX AGSJRBLDJ?!?!
My king Ekko, where have you been all this time. Please come home we miss you
EKKO?! And is that little drawing Jinx??
OH ALTERNATE UNIVERSE TIME BABEY so many fanfics are going to go off this I can tell
EKKO!! He looks so handsome and alive!!! (My hopes for these characters ARE VERY LOW AS YOU CAN TELL)
Jinx looks so cute!!!
BENZO!! Oh my fucking god is this going to be a Happy Universe that NONE OF THEM ARE GOING TO GET?! I’m going to throw myself off a cliff.
Oh my god no one ever address Ekko’s trauma with Benzo I’m so glad they’re doing it THAT WAS HIS DAD!!
This is cruel. This is just cruel how DARE they give us a happy au
No Netflix I will not skip the intro fuck off
AAAAW EKKO NOO SEEING EVERYTHING THAT COULD HAVE BEEN
God Jinx looks SO CUTE I need so much fanart of her
Ps I know this is technically Powder, I’m too lazy to constantly switch names so Jinx
Also does she have a pink streak in her hair? I don’t like the implications of that
Aaaaaw they’re partners :((((
MYLO AND CLAGGOR HOW FUCKING DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU HOW DARE YOU OH FUCK OH GOD
Wait omg “Trouble in paradise” TIMEBOMB?!
I have gotten through THREE MINUTES OF THIS SHOW
Oh that cute Jinxer is here woo! Lmao Mylo is so real.
Aaaw Claggor he’s trying to help the city and he cares about his little sister AND HOW FUCKING DARE YOU ARCANE
AAAW JINX TRYING TO HELP MYLO FUCKING HELL ARCANE
“WHAT WOULD THEY DO WITHOUT YOU” JESUS CHRIST ARCANE
Okay this isn’t funny anymore where’s Vi
Okay but is it OUR professor?! (I can’t spell his name)
IT IS!!
Okay but WHY what’s happening with Jayce?!
VI VI VI VI VI
OH NO JAYCE WHY CANT HE BE HAPPY TOO?!
Ooooh his HAMMER is why he got sent to the apocalypse au huh
Is that evil Viktor. Is that the Machine Herald? IS IT TIME FOR GLORIOUS EVOLUTION?!
Wow I was just joking with the apocalypse au but it really was it huh?
Aw I like that Jinx kept her workshop
Is that a heart. Around a picture of them. IS TIMEBOMB ACTUALLY CANON IN THIS UNIVERSE?!
Wait, is this THEIR WORKSHOP?!
FUCK I KNEW VI WAS GOING TO BE DEAD GOD DAMN IT
Oh this isn’t happy at all :(
OH FUCK THIS ISNT HAPPY AT ALL
WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SHOW ME THAT HOLY HELL?! OH MY GOD THERE WAS NO REASON FOR SHOWING ME THAT
Way to hammer it in Arcane for no fucking reason other than MAKING ME CRY YOU PIECE OF SHIT. LIKE I GOT IT. VI IS DEAD IN THAT UNIVERSE. DIDNT NEED TO SHOW ME HER SIBLINGS REACTING TO HER DEATH
GLORIOUS EVOLUTION HORROR
Oh god not doomed Timebomb IN THE FUCKING HAPPY AU
Poor Jayce just has to fucking go through it huh
Wow that is an understatement.
Okay but MelJayVik crumbs ILL TAKE IT
YEAH THE PERSEVERE JAYCE!!!!
NO STOP MAKING ME CRY WITH THE HAPPY AU
There’s not much I can say with Jayce other than holy fuck this poor man
God they could have been partners. They could have been the brightest minds in all of Zaun. They could have been HAPPY. I fucking hate this show why would you show me this. I’m never going to recover
HE BROKE TIME BABY!!! FOUR SECONDS BACKWARDS LETS GOOOO
God they are so in love. God this is going to kill me
Oh my god the fanartists and editors are going to MURDER me with the “Do you think we together in every universe” trend aren’t they?
SILCO?! ZAUNDADS CANON?!
Ekko hold on. EKKO HOLD ON.
Oh my god this reference to season 1 episode 4 how fucking dare you
HOW DARE YOU MAKE TIMEBOMB CANON LIKE THIS?! AURRRGGGHHHH
Ripping my hair out. Clawing my eyes out. Beating my chest until it caves in. This is everything I could ever want. HOW. DARE. YOU.
I love them. I love them so much. Why would you do this to me.
IM GOING TO BE FUCKING SICK
#uni talks about the universe#arcane#jinx arcane#ekko arcane#Benzo arcane#vi arcane#caitlyn arcane#ISHA IS ALIVE TRUST#I decided to write out the tags before I finish the rest of the episode#I might add more later#expect a tone shift#Jayce arcane#Viktor arcane#Vander arcane#time bomb????👀👀👀#yes I am a timebomb shipper#despite the doom of it all#arcane claggor#mylo arcane#I CANT BELIEVE I HAVE TO ADD THOSE TAGS#oh real quick#arcane season 2 spoilers#for blocking purposes#timebomb canon#but at what cost#timebomb#jinx x Ekko#I LITERALLY WANTED THIS SO BADLY#AND I HATE IT
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OKAY LIKE TWO PEOPLE SAID I SHOULD SO LET ME TALK ABOUT THIS, its gonna sound like nonsense. Trigger Warning for discussions of Suicide, Self-Harm, Mental Health. Please read at caution cause I discuss a lot of sensitive stuff here.
So my scene analysis paper was exactly as it sounds, we watch a movie of our choice, and analyze it from our textbook, America on Film: 3rd edition. I chose Dead Poets bc it had been a minute since I’ve seen it and I also have seen it enough times to be able to analyze it. So I chose Neil’s suicide. a very chilling scene that when broken down, says a lot, for saying very little. so first lets get into the biblical allegory.
When we first see Neil, he opens his window and slowly puts his Puck crown on his head, like so:
This combines two major elements of the main biblical parallels at play: The Agony in the Garden and one of the major Instruments of the Passion, The Crown of Thorns. For those who have not grown up around Christianity/don't pay attention to it, here are some brief yet thorough definitions of the terms I just threw around:
Agony in the Garden: The night Jesus and his disciples spend in the Garden of Gethsemane where Jesus spends the entire night praying and wrestling with his inevitable crucifixion. Some scriptures add that he was sweating blood during this but it depends on which translation you read. The Agony really shows Jesus' human side and can best be seen in the musical Jesus Christ Superstar's most pivotal number, Gethsemane, which I've linked here.
The Passion: A collective name for the events leading up to Jesus' crucifixion. Essentially all of what Easter is. Passion's archaic definition is suffering.
The Instruments of the Passion: Notable relics and icons from the Passion. These include the Crown of Thorns, the cross itself, Holy Lance, Veil of Veronica, and more.
Anyway, the entire first part of the scene shows Neil, who moves slowly and deliberately. No one else in the entire house is awake and he has become one with nature, by opening his window and feeling the winter breeze. Neil bows his head, presumably IN PRAYER, before we cut to the next part. While Christianity has become decentralized in households across America, it was still very crucial in 1950s America, especially in WASP-y domains. So, it would be correct to assume Neil's family is Christian, especially of how Welton is structured (i.e. the main meeting hall is basically a chapel, they sing hymns, etc.).
Jesus Christ was crowned with thorns as a way of mocking him. He was put on trial because according to the Romans, he claimed to be a God, which because the Romans adhered to their set pantheon, it was considered sacrilege and blasphemy. Jesus only ever responded (again, depending on the translation), "You say that I am." So they wanted to mock his authority and placed that crown on his head. Neil is essentially mocking his own authority because the entire movie he has tried and failed to have authority over his own life. His father continuously shoots him down and refuses to listen until the final break when he tells Neil he is sending him to military school. For Neil, he believes it was foolish to think he could even persuade his father just a tiny bit. He expresses this from the moment we first meet Mr. Perry to the final argument.
Where Jesus wears a crown of thorns, Neil's crown is woven with what appears to be fruits and maybe flowers. Flowers and fruit have had sensitive and romantic connotations throughout all of history and are often represented in classic art and literature. Neil is making this sacrifice in the name of art. If you notice throughout the entire movie, anytime death is mentioned, the camera is focused on Neil. It is brilliant subtle foreshadowing and it eats me alive every time it happens. Neil knows what he is about to do. Robert Sean Leonard played this scene beautifully and I so badly want to discuss all of this with him.
Continuing on, we watch Neil make a silent descent down the stairs and he is entirely shadowed. This gives the audience the implication that we already see a ghost:
Neil needed theater like he needed breathing and when theater was taken away from him, his life force was gone. The whole of Neil already died. We see this resignation with his final line:
"I was good. I was really good."
Neil already views himself as dead. He speaks of himself in the past tense. So Neil walking silently through his house as if he were already a ghost is so haunting. I mentioned earlier that Neil knows what he is doing. In Christianity, suicide is considered a sin. We see this in The Divine Comedy, an Italian narrative written by author Dante Alighieri in the 1300s CE. In the first and most famous section, Inferno, when Dante and Virgil arrive in the Seventh Circle and come across those who have committed suicide where they have been turned into trees. The only exception to this is Judas Iscariot, who is being feasted on by a three-headed Satan. Now again, Judas dies two different ways depending on which biblical translation you read but typically the narrative is this:
Judas turns Jesus into the Sanhedrin for 30 pieces of silver and when he discovers Jesus is to be crucified, Judas hangs himself.
In Biblical times, despite suicide being marked as a sin, in Judas' case, because he wanted redemption from his bad act, it was viewed as an acceptable death. So for Neil, this suicide is a redemption for betraying his father. A small parallel, maybe even a bit of stretch, but it is there for me nonetheless.
Back to Jesus, Neil's descent down the stairs also parallels to the walk along the Via Dolorosa or the Way of Suffering. It is the path Jesus walked to his crucifixion, a long and arduous journey. The walk is about 2,000 ft (600 Meters in Metric) yet this is a man who has been beaten, starved, tortured, who was also tasked with carrying his own large wooden cross, but that's besides the point. It was a slow and painful walk and Neil's deliberate footsteps are exactly that. Skipping ahead, Neil finally arrives to his destination. The choice to do it in his father's office was absolutely on purpose. Neil comes back to the spot he emotionally died, the moment he lost everything. We get just a brief bit of hesitation for Neil. He fiddles with the key to his father's desk. He holds it gingerly and turns it over in his fingers a few times before reaching down to unlock the drawer with the gun. This goes back to the Agony in the Garden, which again, is best expressed in Jesus Christ Superstar's Gethsemane:
Why I should die?
Eventually, Jesus resigns himself to die:
Alright, I'll die! Just watch me die! See how I die!
Neil does not go silently. I don't know if I'm hallucinating or have really keen hearing, but I swear you can hear the tail end of the gunshot simultaneously as the dirge-like music cuts and Mr. Perry gasps awake. I might just be making that up but I don't know tbh. But anyway, while Jesus resigns himself, the following lyrics express frustration with God and the life that was already planned for him when he has a selfish sense to live. This song and musical really delve into the debate of how much human and God was Jesus Christ and it really opens the door for his human side. He expresses selfishness and a want to abandon his mission. He is hesitant to die. He is hesitant to die painfully. Like I said earlier, Neil hesitates ever so slightly.
Then I was inspired Now, I'm sad and tired After all I've tried for three years
Cause not only is God, well, y'know, GOD, he is also Jesus' father. A father who had planned out a whole life for his son and while his son goes along with it, he has a desire to live outside of that. Sound familiar? And I really am trying not to be sacrilegious or anything! I grew up in a Christian household but outside of that, theology has always interested me and I've learned to view it from an academic standpoint. As for my beliefs now, I'm still unsure, and I don't think I ever will be sure and I think that's okay. We're getting off topic, so let me get back on track.
The final time we see Neil alive is him sitting at his Dad's desk, gun wrapped in cloth with Neil gripping it:
He looks sure, with maybe just a flicker of sadness. The entire scene Neil has looked serene. And not like the calm kind of serene, the morose kind. Solemn, I think is a better word for it. Neil's soul has died. Neil is about to crucify himself and become a Dead Poet. He has fulfilled the purpose of the poets they read about in the Society. He lived life as full as he could only for it to be cut down so short. That's the tragedy of it: Neil had so much life to live and so much more to contribute to the arts. But Neil's father killed that passion, killed that love. Earlier in the film, Keating recites the Whitman poem, O Me! O Life! In summary, the poem essentially states that life itself is what makes life worth living. It's a question and answer poem. The speaker wonders what about life is worth living when it is full of constant suffering. They get an answer: life itself is. You being here on Earth and having an identity is what makes it worth it. Neil doesn't see that worth anymore. Life without the arts, his friends, Keating, is not worth living for him anymore. I really recommend reading that full poem, linked here, it is so gorgeous despite it being so short. That sweaty-toothed madman had a gift.
I think that's pretty much everything. There have been a MILLION think pieces on Todd and Neil's whole relationship (TLDR: those boys are GAY) so I didn't get into it here, mainly cause I wanted to focus on Neil and the real meat of my rambling, which was the Biblical allegory. I feel like I said a whole bunch of nothing and it might not make sense to me in the morning but it feels good to get it all out. I love this movie and I love Neil and I love Biblical allegory.
I also hope that this post communicates that suicide is not the answer! Please reach out if you have feelings that make you feel unsafe or need someone to lean on. My DMs are always open and I will leave the major crisis hotlines if needed.
988 - Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, call for support
741741 - Crisis Text Line, text TALK to speak to someone for support.
writing a final paper on dead poets society for my film class and my page limit is THREE?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CANNOT DELVE INTO THE QUEER SUBTEXT OF NEIL AND TODD’S RELATIONSHIP AND THE PARALLELS OF NEIL’S DEATH TO THE PASSION OF CHRIST BUT ALSO MAYBE JUDAS ISCARIOT’S DEATH??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DON’T HAVE ROOM TO DISCUSS THE CHRISTIAN IMAGERY??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CANNOT FURTHER DELVE INTO THE TRAGEDY OF NEIL’S DEATH AND THE IMPACT IT HAS ON EVERYONE AROUND HIM???
i need a Cigarette.
somebody let me write this essay. pleak.
#dead poets society#neil perry#i went like a little crazy i think#this is my barbaric yawp moment#i wish this was my essay for class#im very proud of it#i hope someone reads this
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Open my chest and colour my spine I'm giving you all I'll be the blood If you'll be the bones I'm giving you all (x) You run in my veins How can I keep you Inside my lungs I breathe what is yours You breathe what is mine
#my ocs: ka'zalii#lae'zel#githyanki#baldur's gate 3#bg3#my art#githyanki tav#holy hell it's done#god i am so pleased with this jesus christ#gith tav#laezalii
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Biggest red flag is when people start calling people in their life (who are not actually diagnosed, ofc) narcissists. "Oh yeah my mom is a narcissist, my dad is a narcissist too, my boss is totally a narcissist, oh your ex boyfriend sounds like he's a narcissist" yeah you are getting the fucking boot sorry. If your response to people acting badly is to decide that there is a category of Evil Mentally Ill Freaks and another category of Humans Deserving Respect and to just arbitrarily sort people into one or the other category based on your own whims or a reddit post you read, I think you need a lesson in humility and human decency. And a lesson in being less of a heartless piece of shit to real actual people with personality disorders
#if you have npd or other cluster b disorders i am sending you sooooo much love right now stay strong ❤️❤️❤️#people are so fucking shitty i swear to god#incoherent rambling#if you do this. please jesus christ step outside your echo chamber and talk to people with cluster b disorders
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what is your favorite thing about charles and your favorite thing about erik? separately, as in what you like most about their characters :]
a devious question this one is, my friend!!! it's hard enough for me to explain my thoughts cohesively, but having to pick ONE thing i particularly love is difficult. with characters like charles and erik, theres been so much done with their characters over the decades and so they have so many components to them that make them so interesting and fun to observe. BUT I TRY FOR YOU TODAY. under the cut i kinda ramble and the size of this text box makin me anxious
i think if i were to be simple and broad, what i enjoy most about charles is his determination to help others, even if he isn't really thanked and/or if people don't even like him. ofc, this isn't to say he hasn't done wrong- to be honest, the fact he does wrong/questionable things at times is another aspect of him i really enjoy, maybe because- broadly speaking- he's meant to be altruistic (intent vs outcome and all that). i don't know if that's super exciting to most people, but it is for me
as for erik, my reason for liking him is easier to explain tbh. To Be Simple And Broad, his progression from villain to antihero over the decades has been fun to observe (as much as i have so far anyhow) and analyze. i think to be a bit more specific, him using his rage and pain as justifications for his villainous actions is definitely what compels me the most: hurt people hurt and the sort, an idea i've always found interesting (something something vicious cycles and the like). yet now, he recognizes this wasn't really. A Just Thing To Do and is beginning to change that, which i enjoy
#snap chats#may you forgive me anon i always feel awkward explaining things AVELKJEAKLJ#i feel esp awkward cause i haven't read toooo much of the comics yet- like ive read. an ok amount so far krakoa wise#can you guys tell im fighting god himself to Not write a fuckin. NOVEL#im so sorry i have an over-explaining problem my mom was mean to me growing up but anyways#i definitely want to read more and more outside krakoa. the more i read the more im fascinated by these two and their history#but to continue my prattling. as if the three paragraphs above arent enough This Is Not A Thesis RELAX#i think a. 'poignant' moment i think adds to what i like about charles too is that soliloquy where he recognizes people dont like him#yet he could always be worse- like if he's bad now to others imagine if he really just said Fuck It All#it's simple but so am i whaddyagonnadoboutit. i mean that point itself could be discussed but i'm trying to keep this brief bear with me#i so bad want to know what issue that's from tho all i know is that it's from krakoa but i neeeed the whole context#i think like. an additional bullet point to charles i also like is his loneliness#and i say this cause- I Say From My Amateur-Psychology Armchair- it's a component of why he's so earnest to help#but im keeping this point in the tags until i can confidently verify that with myself after some more reading#Unfortunately a favorite pass time of mine is psychoanalyzing characters like why else you think i major in psychology smh#im going to force myself to cap the post here because i ended up typing like 20 more tags just rambling#and as i said id like to keep this simple and clean !!!!! i have sat here for like four hours answering this ngl#ignore the fact half that time was spent getting distracted by solitaire and riffling cards ok I Am Very Easily Distracted#but fr when it comes to charles and erik- charles esp imo#i feel like i need to write a whole paper just so i can mention the nuances of the characters and like. EVERYTHING#because again six decades is A Lot of time for writing decisions to be made and for their characters to change over time#im a glazer but i wanna be a nuanced glazer yk. is that glazing at that point-- w/e anyway#its a lot. so today you will have to tolerate a very Blah answer from me which i must apologize for#down the line once ive read a comfortable amount more varying from multiple eras maybe ill revisit this question more in depth#as of right now tho .... chat i wanna get legion of x so bad i skimmed it and hhhhhhhhim gonna throw UP#i need to shake charles like a ragdoll BUT ANYWAY. bye bye for now lovelies !!!!!!!#please forgive me if i didnt answer your question efficiently ..#here i am saying i wanted to keep the tag count brief and yet !!! jesus christ. shut up My God I REACHED THE TAG LIMIT
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the way it happened is truly everyone's worst fear, and the episode puts a spotlight on what those fears are. k trying to fix something and fucking it up massively. when she airdrops all her stuff, it didn't feel like "k's still thinking about her network etc", it felt like defeat, giving up the work she was doing as itsy for someone else, cause she's lost all confidence in her ability to fix what she was trying to fix. sam tries to help with magic, and her wand doesn't work, and she's confronted with how helpless she is without it. she hosts a show with magic in the name but when she needs it, when she calls for it, it doesn't come, and without it all she is (all she fears that she is) is just being shiny on the outside with nothing on the inside. jammer having less than a minute to feel grief and fear before he just locks in on what he needs to do, where they need to go, because jammer feels responsible for everyone he cares about so he feels responsible for this, he can't face evan's shadow because he can't fail evan again because he's already failed to be there before. and then evan! having to be rescued, being inconvenient and throwing off their mission, and then coming back with no clothes, is the worst! he's so sad about how his presence is making his friends' lives worse because k and jammer can't even look at him, he tried to help sam in whatever way he can and it just upset her, and then he socially trapped sam into assuring him she cares about him. he has to ask a magic goat a question and he doesn't know how and even though the goat ends up giving him the theoretical right answer, now it's disappointed in him because he used a cop out! very bad no good day for evan. man.
#laughs awkwardly#dimension 20#misfits and magic spoilers#first off katabasis. an underworld of shades that know everything like in the odyssey. very cool that it's a goat#but also I wonder if there's a catch. when victor brought his dog back he couldn't bring all of it back#like maybe only sam k and jammer can see evan. maybe evan is back only for them and he's invisible to others. or something else 👀#also the acting was so good i feel crazy. i was over here trying to exercise and sam goes 'please don't kick other evan'#jammer being so focused on doing what needs to be done and then meeting the goat and asking#how am i supposed to do everything that i need to do. is that even possible. there's so many people who need me#aaaaaaaa#k snapping her wand and aabria doesn't miss a beat. mechanical game consequences ready to go#the way evan being emotionally removed and distant means the only part of him that makes it through the fog#is his desperate need to be useful. to be there the way his friends need him. and sam knowing that about him#and using that to get him to un-2D himself. and also!! poor fergus jesus christ#when your ex has come to fire island 2 where you live and you're like hey maybe I'll drop by check in. see how she's doing#and how she's doing is being covered in her friend's blood and viscera. how are you supposed to navigate that. good god
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dick owners who are bodily able and living in an enviromentally capable conditions to flush toilets in a shared bathroom but don't,
fuck you 🖕🏻
#rin rambles#cw vent#cw unhygienic descriptions#delete later#you are disgusting. period.#i absolutely loathe these lind of inconsiderate people jesus fucking christ how low of an eq do you have#unhygienic incapable fucker i am so tired of going to bathrooms and finding piss and shit i hope the rest of your week suck#what are you? dogs? even dogs have the decency to try and bury their shit and piss. you're worse than dogs#i'm sorry i'm just so angry i've been putting up with this for months now and i'm just so fucking tired and disgusted#gods i want a studio apartment all to myself so bad but they're so obscenely expensive *and* small#i just want to go home.#just let me go home. please. please.
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You’re so right there just wasn’t enough FUCKING GREY BEFORE
#Jesus Christ#I am so sick of depression grey being everyone’s go to decor color#it sucks please for the love of god stop#urban depression grey#grey#how are you people okay#do you not understand the science of what color does to your brain#the lack thereof literally saps your life
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im going to kill with hammers whoever invented the stupid idea of trading musical legboots. girl we are all watching the same illicit shaky iphone recording of sweaty guys on stage LET ME HAVE IT
#theo.txt#I DONT HAVE ANYTHING TO TRADE BESIDES ONE (1) PHANTOM OF THE OPERA :(#please god ive been searching for the 2012 arena tour jesus christ superstar for YEARS and PEOPLE JUST WILL NOT GIVE IT UP#im going to kill myself. like judas.#theatre#jcs#2012 jcs#2012 jcs recording is a proshot but still. GIVE. NOW#or seeing like someone has aaron tveit and sutton foster sweeney todd BEHIND A TRADE WALL i am going to kill myself doubly.#WHY would you not just share with the community. DIE.#sorry im mad#just bc i didnt download it fast enough when it was streaming back during covid immmm so angry#on that note. blinks beautifully. if anyone has 2012 jcs and wants to be niceys--
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once again posting a reminder (very gently, when you consider how fucking frustrated i am) that i am anti-kff! there are otherkin terms that people can use and, instead of educating themselves on this, they actively CHOOSE to belittle and bully otherkin folks, all while being a teensy tiny little bit ableist in how they go about it. its not a "erm these people are just minding their business and they're ALSO kin anyway" NO they are NOT. they are, by very fucking definition, either 'hearted or 'link (IF their connection is genuine ANYWAYS). that is NOT. KIN. and its kinda fucking telling if you think a community whose entire existence hinges on deliberate ignorance and harassment of a group is equal to the group theyre harassing and bastardising the terms and experiences of
#am i making ANY FUCKING SENSE#i swear to GOD#"dni antikin (this includes anti-kff) no the FUCK it does NOT#because kff ISNT. KIN#JESUS FUCKING! CHRIST!!!#kff “kins” are LINKTYPES and HEARTTYPES most often (again. if theyre not just being hashtag quirky on the internet)#also please please fuck off if you use the word “k/nn/e” i dont even care if you arent kff just. please go away#im stressed as balls man i dont like having to think about shit that stresses me out and annoys me but here i am! thinking about it!#this isnt directed at anyone btw i just keep seeing “omg this character is one of my biggest kins (kff)” and im so fucking tired of it#its mainly on tiktok anyways so im kinda shouting at air but fuck off#and like even when i see other ACTUAL otherkin/nonhuman/alterhuman folks say “oh yeah i 'kin' this character for fun”#it makes me so aggressively uncomfortable cause just. use 'link' man#use 'click' or 'heart'#stop Doing That cause thats not a fucking kintype and you are contributing to the problem (though minorly compared to other stuff)#theres also this one server wherein people would act and talk about their hearttypes as if they were kintypes despite outright saying -#- THEMSELVES “oh yeah this is a hearttype”#do you know what a fucking hearttype is?#are you stupid?
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god I looooooove doctor who so much that was some of the stupidest shit I have ever seen :))))))
#and ruby SO clara coded!!!!! like jesus christ there was a LOT of it in there!!!!#like maybe she haunts my brain but uh! “the world didn't end in 1983 did it or I wouldn't be here”! is a quote!#GOD! PLAYING LOVESICK SONGS FOR HEARTBROKEN LESBIANS!#also ummm not to be gay but.... maestro kinda! um! hello!!!#also ncuti gatwa PLEASE stop winking at me I'm a lesbian leave me alooooone but also I love him#god I laughed SO much such a good time both episodes#I can be critical later! for now I am having SUCH a good tiiiiime#personal#dw blogging#dw spoilers#ALSO THE DIEGETIC MUSIC.... GIFT FOR ME
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Both are attending a meeting with some business partners but soon they insult and make fun of Gil getting himself shot. Thena isn’t having it at all and soon they are begging for mercy and forgiveness 😈
For the tyrant king au of course 😁
"Then we're agreed."
Gil stood, although he hadn't said nearly as much in the meeting as Thena had with their associates. The businessmen in question were mostly interested in Thena's assets, after all, it was just that some of their 'goods' would be distributed through Thena's channels, as well as through Koreatown and Chinatown.
He wasn't nearly interested enough in what was being said; he wanted to be at home, with Thena, cuddling on the couch or listening to her read in bed while he played on his phone.
"Indeed we are," Thena nodded. The businessmen offered their hands, but Thena looked over at him. The Ice Queen didn't shake hands unless she was already acquainted with her associate.
Gil sighed, extending his hand to shake instead. The things he did for this woman. "I'm sure our doors will be open if you need to discuss anything else about the plans."
"Thank you," the associates traded looks, "Tyrant King. Your reputation precedes you. We have heard so much about your work."
He wasn't entirely sure what that was supposed to mean, but he slipped his hands into his pockets as they prepared to end the meeting, "great."
"Is it true you killed Kro?" the younger associate of the two asked in a near whisper, a juvenile glee coming from him as he asked.
"No," Gil answered without hesitation. The younger man looked disappointed before he moved his thumb towards Thena beside him, "she did."
"Ah yes, the Ice Queen is not without her own methods."
Gil caught Thena's eye for just a second. Again, he wasn't really sure what this young guy's deal was, but he was more and more eager to wrap things up.
"But The Prince Eternal, that most certainly was you!" the other associate now joined in. Technically, it was bad decorum--bringing up past business that wasn't anything they should be concerned with, Gil thought.
"Uh, yeah," Gil blinked. He wasn't sure how they had found that one out.
"Ah," the older one at least seemed to realise how rude they were being. "Forgive the intrusion. We do have quite a skilled information dealer we consulted before coming. Can't be ignorant to our honourable host's reputations, after all."
"You can be a little ignorant," Gil mumbled, although it was taken as more of a friendly joke than how he meant it--a genuine urging for them to get the fuck out of his office.
"You've had quite the past, Tyrant King!" the younger one chimed in again. "A bungled affair, sending business away left and right!"
"You even got shot last year!"
Perhaps they were unable to read the room--like, at all. But the two seemed elated to prove that they knew the lives of their business associates. They even grinned at him as they said it.
"It happens," the younger one waved it off like it was nothing, "I don't think you're past your prime at all!"
Gil bit his tongue. He didn't realise that was an opinion people had of him. What--because he got shot?! He didn't see how that was his fault.
"It was the fall of one of the great families in the business back in Korea! Their daughter still hasn't been seen in public."
Gil resisted the urge to roll his eyes.
"Do you know why that is?"
Gil felt a shiver run up even his spine, and he wasn't the one in trouble. He looked at the men who, by the calm looks on their faces, didn't seem to know yet why the temperature had changed so much.
Thena just stared at them, but they didn't make a guess at all. So, she informed them. "It's because I cut off one of her fingers before I sent her back to them."
The two men looked at one another. Apparently that wasn't in the briefing done by their precious 'information dealer' (horseshit). They put on perfectly polite smiles. "We were unaware, Ice Queen."
"Most are," Thena continued to fix them with her icy green glare. She rustled her lace around her shoulders. "I also told her that she would be relieved of her ears next, if I ever saw her near me, or my husband, again."
"Your-"
"We weren't-"
Poor guys didn't even see it coming. They could have just looked down when Thena adjusted her lace to see that she had reached for her hip. Her fingers had grasped the knife she kept around her thigh, which was now driven into the younger man's leg, dangerously close to some key arteries.
She looked at the other one, who flinched just from that. "I take threats - and disrespect - of the Tyrant King very seriously."
"I-I-I would-" he stuttered, trying to back up to the office doors behind him. But he could never have moved fast enough, getting another of her knives launched into the palm of his hand he had been trying to use to show her he meant no harm.
The younger one pulled the knife out of his thigh, but he wasn't in any condition to fight back. Thena used the sole of her heel to push him over in his crumpled posture, like a wounded animal.
"Did you find the story thrilling?" she asked so dryly and evenly. Gil watched as she reached into the younger man's suit jacket and pulled out the weapon he had in an arm holster. She held it in a way that was kind of sexy, honestly. "Did you find it amusing?"
"I'm sorry!" he yelped, trying to crawl, but his leg was all but useless. "I'm sorry, I won't say it again!"
"Do you know where he was shot?" she turned to the other one, who sprinted to the doors and pulled on them to escape.
She shot him from behind, two in the ribs and one by his clavicle (if he had been turned around facing her). "Is it painful?"
Gil just whistled to himself, impressed as always. Thena didn't even look back at him; she wasn't done.
She walked over to the man dragging his bloody hand down Gil's nice, solid oak door. Again, she used her foot to nudge him into looking up at her. "I said: is it painful?"
"Y-Yes," the man snivelled.
"Yes?" Thena glared down at him, flipping his hand over and stepping on it (the injured one).
"Y-Yes--yes, Ice Queen!"
Thena emptied the rest of the clip next to his head, scaring him very literally shitless. She left him kneeling on the floor, watching his life flash before his eyes. The completely empty and useless weapon, she tossed at the head of the other one, letting it smack him in the face like tossing a food wrapper in the garbage.
Gil pulled his hands out of his pockets just to clap. "Holy shit, Princess, that was hot!"
She glared at him, "is that truly the adjective you wish to choose?"
"Okay," he chuckled, walking over to her to amend his compliment. He kissed her temple, wrapping his arm around her, "it was ice cold."
Thena rolled her eyes at the silly joke (as the men screamed and cried in agony in the background). "That was far worse."
"Yeah, but that's why you're marrying me," Gil snickered, positively delighted to bring up their engagement at every possible opportunity.
Thena sighed, straightening his collar and unbuttoning his shirt, now that they weren't in a very important meeting. She liked seeing the edges of his tattoo sleeves encroaching on his shoulders. "I would not say that is why."
"Okay, okay," he chuckled, leading her out of the office that was about to stink of blood and evacuated bowels. "My devilish good looks were too much to resist, huh?"
Thena didn't chide him, at least, letting him lead her away from the mess they left inside. She merely let her lace settle in the crooks of her elbows as he led her to the elevators. "I am willing to agree if it gets us home that much faster."
Gil pointed at his office from the elevator doors, "that's gonna need a good bleaching."
"Understood sir!" his guys knew what that meant, and exactly what evidence to wash out of his area rugs.
Once they were in the elevator, away from prying eyes, Thena allowed him to nuzzle her cheek. "What an exhausting meeting."
"I barely remember anything from it," he agreed, and the way she laughed meant that he didn't need to tell her that. He kissed her cheek, "but I do remember you saying that you felt like sushi tonight."
"Something light, please," she sighed, allowing him to unravel the tight knots that comprised her business persona.
"Anything you desire, Ice Queen," Gil purred for her. He would tell her when they were home how sexy he found her whole defense of him. Maybe he could even get her to be a little pushy with him tonight.
#Ice Queen/Tyrant King AU#Thena is a badass#and Gil is a s i m p#he is king simp#he is his wife's number one fan#she said: does it hurt#Gil: oh my god oh my jesus fucking christ she's so hot holy shit god i love her oh my fuck she#Gil was ready to just be like ugh this is so annoying#maybe at most he would be like okay haha bad joke#Thena as soon as they joke about him being shot: I am going to make you shit your pants#they wanna joke about Gil almost dying?#about her biggest trauma to date#about the worst time of her life#okay sure she's going to toss a gun at you like a rock at a bunch of seagulls#(please don't throw rocks at seagulls I do not condone this)#also I don't usually bring up guns in my stuff because what am I american?#but Thena can damn well make good use of one if she really has to#she didn't have to shoot next to that guy's head#she does admit maybe that part was overboard#Gil is like baby there's a hole in my floor#Thena *shrugs*: technically I fired three shots so that's not a bad ratio
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i believe i do hate my job
#she bork#not the job itself but the way everyone else complicates it. why am i getting bitched at by a peer for DOING. MY. JOB. like i've already#explained more than once why i make the choices i make (useless endeavor ik) and still she insists on harassing me about it. MY BOSSES TELL#ME I'M RIGHT. so fuck off jesus christ#imagining . .. a peaceful office. cute business casual attire. pantsuits and chic sweaters. a day full of nothingness where i don't have to#think quickly and get bitched at from all directions and struggle to swim upstream. god please i can't do this anymore
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what do you plan to do with your degree after uni?
FUCK NASTY!!!
#if i ever touch economics again it's a cry for help like i cannot stress enough how fucking pointless this degree is gonna be#okay deep breath im only being so negative bc im balls deep in exam season. it's a GOOD degree i DONT REGRET MY DEGREE#this will be EXCEPTIONALLY helpful when i go into the working world i am EMPLOYABLE bc of my DEGREE#like economics is a VERY versatile subject there arent many areas of work that econ doesnt apply to in some way#so i KNOW it's a really good degree to have and i can kinda do what i want afterwards#but oh my fucking god. jesus christ. bloody fucking hell#i do however know that in the immediate year after my degree im gonna move back home and waitress full time#bc i just need to like. take some time off education and recover LMAO and i want a space to just tick some boxes i never got round to#like learning how to drive and stuff. and living without having rent to pay in a place im very familiar with will be good#even if i do think it's gonna have it's own struggles. oh hometown blues we're really in it now#but yeah after that year im thinking about maybe doing a masters? but ill have to proper blag it bc you typically have to do#masters in subjects relevant to your degree and i dont want to go within a radiation exclusion zone of economics#so. there's that. do u think if i say please somewhere will let me do a classics masters be honest. if i say pretty please#ask#hella goes to uni
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Cool great as if everything couldn't get more stressful I just found out the first ask I have received in a while is a pr//oshipper complaining about me not wanting them to interact with me awesome 👍
#negative#jesus fucking christ someone help me PLEASE#I'm sorry but I genuinely do not know how much more I can take#the last couple of weeks have already been shit enough can we like. not do this???#how about just accept that I have boundaries????#I'm not answering it but. GOD#this is the worst possible time I could've found this out#they're mad because I said something about it ON MY OWN FUCKING BLOG#like listen. this is my blog. I'll say whatever the fuck I want#assuming you weren't following me before how the fuck did you find that???#I didn't out and harass anyone or name anyone specific#I think it's okay for me to say that I don't like proshippers#I'm sorry I'm like. mad and I was stressed out enough as it is#I do not want to get into anything so again I am not answering the ask#I'm sorry i am like. so unbelievably stressed and mad I'm like. shaking lol
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