#god god god god i am so angry
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that tiktok of that woman talking about how she was on a date and the guy invited her back to his place and she said i'm not gonna sleep with you and he was like thats totally fine i just want to hang out with you so they just cuddled and shes in this fucking video talking about how she wishes he tried something so she could've said no, how him not trying anything made her feel ugly. and all these incels are reposting it on twitter being like "this is mandatory viewing for all boys, im showing this to my kids".... i am going to s c r e a m.
i know its partly posted for rage bait and congrats you got me but god the fantasies some women have about being uncomfortable in sexual situations, of a man being so taken by her that he must have her no matter what she says is all fun and games in your romance novels until its happening to you and the man will not listen when you say no bc in his mind you a) secretly want this or b) he doesn't care what you say. and you posting this video is just encouraging those type of men to keep doing what they are doing, you are just actively encouraging rape culture. if you wanted him to kiss you, you should have said something. you made a clear boundary that you didn't want to try anything and he respected that because that is what you said out loud and next time save this absolutely deranged take for the group chat so your friends can tell you its weird instead of posting it on the internet for all these incels to see and be like "hey son look at this ! when she says no, she actually means yes!!!!!"
im going to scream forever
#my blood is boiling i should really stay off the internet bc this shit is gonna keep happening on twitter incels are taking over#but god#god god god god i am so angry#tw: rape culture#is that a tag?#if u want me to tag this w other things pls let me know
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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Doomed by the narrative - Doomed by her parents
#I’m sorry for this#but I am so fucking angry at them right now#it was about Louis guilt it was about lestat fear of being alone#her turning wasn’t about her#interview with the vampire#iwtv#iwtv s2#iwtv spoilers#spoilers#iwtv s2 spoilers#claudia#claudia de pointe du lac#claudia de lioncourt#baby I’ll give you my surname you deserve better#lestat de lioncourt#louis de pointe du lac#jacob anderson#sam reid#isn’t having a child the most selfish of all selfish acts#delainey hayles#armand#assad zaman#iwtv edit#iwtv gifset#tvcentral#god I’m so mad#original p.#iwtv gifsets
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i feel like there's something genuinely terrifying about what gwen did from lena's perspective. to not only let a danger inside what she probably considers a "safe" place, but to also disregard that danger because of social status and wealth. lena knows exactly how dangerous lady mowbray is, and she has to live with the fact that she was in there without her knowledge.
i imagine it's almost like finding out that someone was inside your house without your consent or knowledge, except you know every excrutiating detail of what they could've done to you.
and the person who let them inside is telling you that you're overreacting.
#gwen i am going to hit you oh my god#lena was angry but she was also so clearly scared. of course she was scared.#tmagp#the magnus protocol#lena kelley#gwen bouchard#tmagp spoilers#tmagp 16#tmagp 16 spoilers
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I don’t think I can emphasize enough just how much Elementary understood the core of Sherlock Holmes’ character, and the kind of cases and people he is drawn to, right from the very first episode.
The pilot opens with a wealthy woman’s murder. The prime suspect is a man who is a patient of the woman’s husband, a doctor, for help with his mental disorder. The man is desperately trying to avoid any triggers that may cause him to become violent, as he has been in the past. The doctor decides to use this man as a tool to kill his wife to collect her life insurance. He manipulates both his patient and his wife, alters the man’s medications, and ignores the man’s pleas for help, in order to set a scenario that is guaranteed to trigger the man’s violence - resulting in his wife’s death and later his patient’s.
When Sherlock pieces this together, he confronts the doctor, which leads to this:
And that’s what drives Sherlock to confront the doctor directly. There’s no smugness in being right, or for figuring out who the murderer was and how he did it. Sherlock realizes that this man’s patient was just another victim - someone who desperately wanted and sought help, only to be mistreated. Sherlock Holmes in this adaptation cares so deeply about people, especially those who are denied help when they need it most, and we learn all of this from the very first case.
#elementary#sherlock holmes#sherlock#ive never forgotten this scene#how angry sherlock is when the doctor dismisses everything he is saying#and then just...deflates...#'and YOU took advantage'#that's not even touching on how sherlock is a recovering addict#and is following a case involving a man losing control when he so desperately doesnt want to#god this show. THIS SHOW.#i am BEGGING you all to watch this show
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“I don’t have any feelings, ever. I mean sometimes I feel hungry or tired. But, like, joy, guilt? I really don’t have any of those.”
Olivia Cooke as Amanda in Thoroughbreds (2018)
#god i wish i could feel nothing!!! but i am so angry all of the time!!!#hunger#olivia cooke#thoroughbreds#thoroughbreds 2018#film#filmedit#filmgif#chewieblog#cinemapix#dailyfilm#dailyflicks#filmtv#fyeahmotionpictures#tvfilm#userfilm#usersource#userstream#movie#movieedit#moviegif#gifsbymisa
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like many who have suffered at the hands of bbc merlin before me, i recently indulged in a thought experiment in which i outlined my own version of seasons 3-5 that stay thematically and tonally in line with the show (except they're less fucking stupid). but then i quickly realized that focusing on details is pointless: all you need is to solve the one Big Problem the show has, and the rest will follow. the problem in question? ✨morgana✨
i like the first two seasons. s1 achieves what it sets out to do and has fun while doing it, and s2, while flawed, sets up a ton of potential that the following seasons unfortunately squander, beginning with the insidious season 3. you can only distract me with cute knights and goblins and fart jokes for so long before i start seeing through you, evil, evil season of television.
my hypothesis is that if the writers had crafted s3 morgana into anything more sympathetic than a violent half-alive poltergeist that can never be reasoned with because she's suddenly terminally off her rocker, everything would've fallen into place. a sympathetic morgana would've made real, valid arguments against uther (and arthur) that wouldn't just be the ramblings of a woman possessed. her betrayal of arthur would have stemmed from her feeling increasingly morally superior to him because of his complacency in the face of their father's tyranny. under morgause's guidance she would stop believing that arthur is capable of change, and the whole point would be that she might actually be right. arthur would have to actively try and prove her wrong, instead of getting praised for doing the bare minimum because the bar is on the floor.
furthermore, morgana's prophetic dream about arthur and gwen becoming king and queen and her decision to prevent this however she can is a direct parallel to merlin learning about that same prophecy and making it happen by any means necessary. merlin's desires about his and arthur's futures are subtextually fueled by gay love and devotion, so why couldn't morgana's be? why couldn't she properly express her bitterness that arthur gets to be with gwen in a way she can't "took gwen away" from her, instead of suddenly declaring that gwen is nothing more than a servant, after two seasons of demonstrating again and again that she loves, values, and respects gwen more than anyone else in that godforsaken castle?
following this, an angry and emotionally volatile but still sensible morgana asking gwen to stay by her side during the coup of the castle in the s3 finale and gwen going behind her back to help arthur and the knights would've hurt like a bitch. double-sided betrayal! gwen having a real plot! the proper beginnings of a toxic yuri that would shape a generation!
then there's the utter hubris of having morgana shoot arrows at the same civilians she worried herself sick over for 2 seasons — even morgan, her medieval counterpart that was rooted in every sexist trope in existence, doesn't just go around killing senselessly but instead has (often petty!) personal vendettas against gwen, arthur, and the knights. morgana had every right to be sick of the pretensions around chivalry in camelot (she was always quick to mock it, even in s1), and to lash out at the knights and soldiers after years of feeling powerless in a castle full of armed men that blindly followed her oppressor. the show conveniently forgets that morgana was victimized as a woman as well as a sorcerer those first 2 seasons.
but like i said, this is not just about morgana. allowing her to remain a real and multifaceted character even as she betrays everyone in pursuit of her ambitions would've given the rest of the core four more interesting conflict to work with: merlin because he would have to experience real consequences to his actions, arthur because he would watch his sister go against his father (and his knights, and his birthright) and experience some actual internal dilemmas about it, and gwen because she would be forced to choose between morgana and arthur without the pretense that it's an obvious or easy choice for her to make.
even morgause and gaius would come off more interesting as mentors: neither one inherently evil or inherently good, both jaded by events that happened before our protagonists were even born, both heavily influencing morgana and merlin into fulfilling roles that they think are appropriate, but that morgana and merlin may not have chosen for themselves had they not been under their care.
you get the gist. if the show followed its own setup, morgana's mistakes wouldn't lie in cheap and senseless acts of violence but in alienating the people she loves because she is too hurt and jaded to trust them. meanwhile, everybody else would feel guilt over "failing" her and yet they would be too caught up in their own (sometimes flawed!) beliefs of right and wrong to truly see her point of view.
arthur would convince himself it was sorcery that corrupted her. merlin would know that isn't true but he wouldn't be able to argue without confessing everything, which is the defining conflict between him and morgana and it's cheapened when she's just an evil witch caricature and merlin is framed as inherently virtuous in contrast. gwen, too, would become a more active participant in her own life by choosing arthur over morgana and choosing to rule camelot with him instead of just waiting politely to see where things go.
and, of course, uther's downfall and death would be quick, final, and completely earned — when and why did the show even decide he of all people was the sympathetic villain, anyway?
lastly, and perhaps controversially, i think morgana should've learned merlin's true identity by season 4. her being the first of the main characters to find out makes perfect sense considering their shared history and their interconnected and mirrored arcs. even the show seems to agree, considering she does find out a little before arthur. but the narrative itself tried pointing flashing neon arrows towards this way earlier — there is a whole entire episode in s4 where merlin being emrys is repeatedly spelled out for morgana and she still isn't allowed to see it. that episode makes her look like the stupidest person to ever live, which is pretty funny im not gonna lie, but also another frustrating thing in the endless string of frustrating things that make up this show.
morgana learning that merlin has magic would've transformed the source of merlin's anxiety from a crippling fear of being outed someday to the crippling fear of knowing she could out him at any moment. this would make him want to beat her to the punch (perhaps he'd consider killing her for a minute and decide against it because she isn't a cartoonishly insane evil person in my version of events) and maybe he would even feel some tentative excitement at the idea of coming clean, now that it seems inevitable. after all, he always intended to tell arthur eventually! and i think gaius would have to admit outright that he does not want merlin to tell arthur he has magic because he, gaius, simply cannot risk such a gamble. it would be so interesting to see gaius and merlin clash and disagree once it becomes obvious that it's not merlin that isn't ready for the reveal, it's gaius. delicious!
with morgana's knowledge looming, things would inevitably spiral into a magic reveal by the end of season 4. i picture this season as an absolute mess of miscommunication between everyone at camelot, which is, y'know, canon. growing increasingly cunning and vengeful, morgana would use this tension to her advantage, destabilizing the court from the outside while she creates alliances with other sorcerers outside of camelot (instead of living alone in a hovel for no reason — morgana le fay i'm sorry i'm so sorry they gave you agravaine instead of your all-female entourage oh my god).
and here's where the events would change beyond recognition (aka here's where the meta becomes the fanfic i refuse to write). picture it with me: a militia of sorcerers infiltrates camelot and arthur and gwen have to set aside their differences (assuming gwen kissing lancelot and arthur overreacting happens, which it should) for the good of the kingdom as well as for love. picture high priestess morgana in her element, side by side with a bunch of misfit sorcerers that aren't so easily vilified, chopping down camelot's soldiers and knights and assuredly making their way to the newly-minted king.
then, just as it starts to seem that all hope is lost, in swoops merlin (the actual merlin, not his old fart disguise) on dragonback (kilgharrah hates morgana so much i know his sexist ass would stoop to anything to stop her)!!! imagine merlin showing off the extent of his powers in front of everyone and preventing the sorcerers from getting any further, declaring loud and clear that camelot is protected by him, by emrys. imagine that display of power alone being enough to send everyone home.
imagine the loyalties clearly drawn: merlin on arthur's side, morgana on the sorcerers'. imagine arthur, feeling confused and betrayed by everyone at this point, banishing merlin despite everything he's done for him in the angstiest, most emotionally dysregulated scene the show had ever put to screen. imagine merlin starting season 5 free at last but very lonesome, an embittered dragonlord like his father. imagine the absolute mess camelot would become without him, even with gwen — now queen guinevere — there to pick up the slack. imagine arthur actually earning merlin back, finally growing into his role as king as he does so. imagine the reunion.
all this and more could've been not just possible but inevitable if morgana was allowed to remain a complex character that is neither inherently good nor inherently evil: it was undeniably the biased and one-note treatment of morgana's downfall by the writers that set the precedent for literally everything else that happened after merlin chose to poison her. the show wouldn't have even had to jeopardize its tone or the monster-of-the-week vibe, all it would've had to do is admit that even the "good guys" are capable of mistakes and what makes them good is the ability to feel remorse and change for the better. (as opposed to uther, who was miles beyond redemption since way before the pilot and deserved to lose everything and die alone. OBVIOUSLY???)
in a world where morgana remains multifaceted and sympathetic, mordred would get a better arc as well, so if we really wanted to, we could still end on the same tragic note that the show ended on. with so much harm inflicted onto so many innocent people by the pendragons for so long (including mordred and the many druids and sorcerers that raised him), it could realistically end up being a little too late for anything more than one shining glimpse of king arthur and the sorcerer merlin's short-lived golden age before fate catches up to them. glimpsing that reality just to immediately lose it would've been far more satisfying and far more tragic than whatever the writers thought they were doing with all that pointless carrot-dangling.
and finally, an ending in line with morgana's new and improved arc. in this version, rather than bleeding out on the forest floor alone, she would channel the morgan le fay we know from the legends: sobered up by the reality of her brother dying, she would use her high priestess status (and perhaps also her pendragon status) to be granted passage over to avalon alongside arthur on the boat — a one-way ride — just to make sure he gets there safely. this is her penance for the harm she has caused, the same way arthur's penance is to die and leave the true ruler of camelot (gwen) behind to achieve everything he was too slow and indecisive to build while he still had time.
merlin's penance, then, would be to stay behind and watch them cross over without him, waiting and waiting and waiting until they come back or until he can finally join them. which is a bit fucking harsh if i'm honest, so i'd at least make it slightly more faithful to the legends by having him return as an old man and letting him take a long nap under a tree by the shore, his body slowly enveloped by vines like the cobwebbed fisher king in 3x08, never fully sure if he's dreaming or if there really are strange shapes fading in and out of the fog over the lake. still tragic, but nevertheless a little more open-ended and whimsical than [TRUCK NOISES] THE END!
#[johnny the dragon voice] ✨ MORGANA ✨#tldr: if you treat your villain with nuance then more nuance will follow and your story will be better for it! groundbreaking i know!!!#what im also getting at is that morgana broke free FIRST so she DESERVED to become the morgan le fay of legend#way before any of the others grew into their own roles.#morgana#bbcm#bbc merlin#analysis#merlin meta#theres no focus on the knights here but if you know me you know how angry i am about s4 and s5 gwaine at all times#so in a story with a more nuanced portrayal of villainy and knighthood i think he would openly question his choice to become one#and maybe he'd leave for a while#go home and sort out his daddy issues. have some fruity subplots along the way. visit merlin during his dragonlord era. that sort of thing#and interact with lancelot at least once!!! for gods sake#but i dont see lancelot surviving sorry. that dude will literally die for anything#also scientists and tv execs had not yet discovered bisexuality in 2011 and he already had everyone acting unwise#in ways that barely got past the censors :/ unsustainable#elyan however shouldnt have died. i know gwen ruling alone with only the lamest knights in her service is “the point”#but its a stupid point. elyan is her best knight and they rule camelot together. working class heroes etc.#poetic justice for their father who was murdered by uther + a fun narrative contrast to morgana and arthur#nightmare siblings of all time. banished from the mortal realm for their crimes. could never rule together. stinky#ANYWAY. I HAVE THREE (3) EXAMS DUE THIS WEEK. HERE'S TWO THOUSAND (2000) WORDS OF BBC MERLIN ANALYSIS.
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"Hold the hand of the god-child”, they said, "as he falls from the sky"
Lyrics from That Unwanted Animal by The Amazing Devil
#anyways i keep thinking about that one time a friend called the killjoys children of war#and god who is mother war to say no to an angry kid who is willing to do Anything to protect his crew?#i am consistently haunted by the fucking action figure descriptions#saying that he dresses bright to stand out even among the killjoys#he made himself a fucking target for them because at least that way he’ll be the one dealing with damage#i am so normal about her idk if yall can tell#danger days#ttlotfk#kobra kid#my art#mother war
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individual stills of miguel Scampering on all fours and showing off his more distinct individual movement style (that he has because of his spider-man's Similar-but-still-distinctly-Weird-and-unique powers as compared to the more-graceful Others) so that i don't have 2 keep rewinding the clip(s) to see it. im REALLY excited to see him scuttling and skittering all over the place in the film just like he does in the comics-- and, like, seriously, Miguel Specifically being just. made Massive for some reason in his atsv design will never NOT be funny to me hes SO freakin Bouncy why did they Do That.
don't be Weird on my post or i'll kill you for real
#talking tag#atsv#across the spiderverse#spider-man 2099#spiderman 2099#miguel o'hara#the question is rhetorical btw i am not actually asking that in earnest.#i Already Know the reason why.#many different combined factors that came together to simultaneously make one of his Best designs and ALSO make My Life hell.#but. sigh. anyways. it's really genuinely been bringing me a lot of joy to see this kind of loving attention to detail. yknow.#god. mig never Gets That yknow?? christ. forget abt the stupid Freaks for a second. hes a c-lister. an alternate costume in a game. a Cameo.#a side character who gets a couple lines of dialogue At Best and then his entire universe is rebooted nine zillion times Again and hes gone.#and marvel only ever brings him back to choke the life out of whatevers left#so.. Yeah. that he is going to feature so prominently in atsv IS actually kinda a big deal to me! i KNOW it'll never happen again!#i dont believe in posting while Angry which is why i have not been making as many Original Posts lately but. just. god.#im not like Actually A Danger 2 anyone im just hyperbolizing out of Frustration but#oh my FOD#there r some ppl on this site that i just want 2 kill with my teeth while screaming the whole while like a howler monkey. lordt.
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fiona gallagher // the angry man in the house
#ami weaves a web#for real this time!!! since it's not just a couple of pictures with lyrics from one (1) song lol#anyways#tw abuse#something about growing up with an angry abusive father and harboring all this fear and then watching your siblings learn his violence#and then turn it on you#and you're also this deeply angry person#there's no escaping that#but seeing your father's rage in your baby brother's eyes#the baby brother you've raised from infancy#god. it fucks me up so much#also the fact that fiona looks resigned to frank's anger and puts on this brave face when he's yelling at her but is visibly shaken and#terrified when it's lip or ian is breaking my heart#you can put up your wall of steel when you know someone's going to hurt you. but when you don't expect it...#man fuck these fathers who put their hands on their little kids#i should be allowed to go feral i think. hm. maybe i am just struggling to be at home with my family. anyways#fuck frank all my homies hate frank
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benedick challenging claudio to a duel, 2011 version vs the 2001 radio play version
#much ado about nothing#david tennant#much ado#i love both of these because benedick is being played with two different moods (maturity vs anger) but both of them work so well#in the 2011 version they really lean into benedick being ostracized by don pedro and claudio. he is no longer 'one of the guys'#he's angry but also cool and rational and dead serious in extremely stark contrast to claudio who thinks he's telling some joke#and it's a sharp left turn from the silly goofy cringeloserclown of a man he was at the beginning of the play#in the 2001 version he's more brimming with fury and it sounds like he's on the verge of strangling claudio right there#like this interpretation of him overall is much more the battle hardened cynical soldier that is ready to throw down and we see that here#and the image it conveys of him walking up to claudio and snarling the challenge in his ear is sooooo. God i am not your strongest soldier
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These two lines in the movie make me the most mentally unwell.
"I should have been the one to go. You needed your mother more than you needed me."
The amount of layers to this, oh my god. He's blaming himself for being alive. He probably wants to die. He genuinely thinks Adrian needs Emilie more.
And it's been YEARS since Emilie's passed away. Look how tiny Adrian is over there, he only just about comes about the bedpost. Gabriel still looks like he did in the pictures of when Adrian was little. It's been literal years. It could have literally been a full decade ago.
And Gabriel breaks the narrative here. He's supposed to be telling a story, he's supposed to be saying what happened in the past. But at this point, he doesn't say "your mother was taken from us" or anything like that referencing Emilie's passing. The story breaks, he's using a statement. I should have been the one to go. It's completely out of the story, because he isn't saying what he felt then, there's no "I felt like I should have been the one to go". It's just "I should have been."
Because he still thinks this. It's been about a decade, and his opinion, his feelings about this, is still "I should have died". It interrupts his storytelling because of how strongly he feels this way, almost like it's a fact to him.
And then he follows it with "You needed your mother more than you needed me." Again, he says this like it's a fact, like Adrian actually did need his mother more. Because he believes it himself. And this could be because of so many things. It could be because of the way people consider the mother to be the one supposed to care for the children much more than the father, or it could be that Gabriel himself didn't see how much Adrian needed him, or even that Gabriel didn't see himself as useful to Adrian. Especially because he said he should have been the one to die. He's essentially saying he was useless. That he was expendable but Emilie wasn't. He literally is implying he doesn't see any worth in himself regarding being a father.
And then it's not just his grief, it's Adrian's grief that has him desperate to bring Emilie back. He literally doesn't care about himself, he wants his son to be happy and doesn't see himself as able to do that. He loves him to the point of being suicidal and self-sacrificing if it would give Adrian what he need, all while simultaneously not seeing himself as what Adrian needs because he doesn't think he has that much worth regarding him.
#it is one am and i am on my shit#Gabriel agreste has made me so insane about him ever since i first watched the show#like he's unironically been my favourite character. probably because i wasn't able to watch the full level of his bullshit in the show#movie gabriel is exactly the character i wanted/envisioned gabriel to be and the redemption was exactly what i wanted#and i will randomly remember the movie exists and die inside when i remember this scne#and don't get me started on how many times he tightened his grip around adrian when hugging him oh my god#this man was so convinced he couldnt make adrian happy himself he didnt see that Adrian was slowly recovering on his own#and the fact that Adrian wasnt even angry he just understood he knew and he hugged him oh my god#adrian had finally learnt to let go and now he wanted his dad to let go too-and dont get me started on how he calls gabriel dad#also “you have to let her go” maybe its not just Emilie herself he meant but the idea of her and what she meant#like the idea that emilie was perfect emilie is what adrian needed that gabriel is nothing next to her#aughhhhhdhhshsjsjsshsh im going insaneeee#miraculous awakening#miraculous ladybug#miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir#miraculous movie#gabriel agreste#adrian agreste#chat noir#hawkmoth#hawk moth
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I haven't been able to contact any of my friends and family in Bangladesh all day. Nationwide internet shutdown. Phone-lines are cut off. The last I heard was that there was curfew and tanks were out in the street.
I'm worried sick as you can imagine.
The death toll has gone up from 6 to 54 in a single day.
I wonder about those men in the armies who are shooting and beating up the students. How can you do this to your own people? They are the real Rajakars.
Even the people who will actually be benefiting from the quota support the students. Who are they doing this for.
#sorry this is incoherent i#am so scared and angry#i keep praying that any of 54 killed wasn't any of my friends or family#and then i feel bad because immediately because they were someone's friend or family even they weren't mine#god you never really realise the horror until it happens to you and your loved ones#i keep refreshing social media but everything is so dead quiet since this morning#bangladesh student protests#bangladesh protests#bangladesh
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I cannot stress how many times this fancam of hetamyu Prussia plays in my head daily I need to be neutered immediately
#is this what having a crush feels like???#I’ve never felt so pathetic how do you people do this#I’m possibly aro but I gotta job so I don’t really care about that rn#but damn I have a visceral need to start eating my arm and not stopping until it’s just my head left#this is a memetic and a disease#I need to put down like a rabid dog#hetamyu#aph prussia#hws prussia#gilbert beilschmidt#I think if this dude everytime I listen to Judas now#there’s also another one of him with Sexy Back playing and it fucks me up#has the same effect on me as hearing the voice of an angry god in my dreams#I am haunted by this man’s portrayal and swagger#need to be crushed under his boot#no one read this
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I dunno why when it's radiostatic then I'm either indifferent or sometimes, rarely as it is, even like top!Alastor but when it's radioapple then even a thought about top!Alastor and bottom!Lucifer makes me wanna to gouge my eyes out haha
Samsies, Anon XD When it comes to radiostatic, I don't mind top!Alastor. I've actually like it on a few occasions of Alastor domming Vox. It's delicious. It's exquisite. Very yummy.
I think its the fandom-wide depiction of top!Alastor and bottom!Lucifer that turns me off from that dynamic. With Vox, Alastor gets to be more himself. He's not turned into this super suave alpha male dude (probs because Vox already fits that bill LMAO). Alastor gets to keep his fun and silly characteristics. I've seen more fan art of Alastor in a dress in radiostatic than radioapple, and I would like to thank the radiostatic community for contributing to my health. Thank you for putting my pookie in a dress, he looks amazing and beautiful just like he should.
And Vox gets to be his silly self too. He's still a boyfail. He's a mess. He's suave and charming, but obsessive and goofy at the same time. They match each other's freak.
From what I've seen, radiostatic typically feels closer to their canon counterparts than a lot of radioapple, which might be why I've been so drawn to radiostatic lately.
Their dynamic is so much more complicated and interesting than a lot of radioapple too, which is INSANE because Lucifer is literally the King of Hell, a prideful son of bitch, and an insecure, depressed mess who's been shown to despise Sinners. Alastor is a silly, girlpop, murderous Overlord who's rise to power is a mystery to EVERYONE (that should've been also impossible considering the assumption that he killed the other Overlords), he had an immediate dislike towards Lucifer that was never explained or expanded on, AND he's slowly been driven to (more) insanity because someone owns his soul, and that someone could very well be Lilith, Lucifer's ex-wife. THESE TWO ARE SUCH TASTY, COMPLICATED CHARACTERS AND RADIOAPPLE SHOULD BE THE TASTIEST OF SHIPS.
And yet, they're starting to feel like the oatmeal of ships. Bland and boring.
Don't get me wrong, I DO like radioapple. I do. I promise. I wouldn't be writing radioapple fanfic if I didn't. But it is hard to find enjoyment in the ship when most of what I see turns the characters into tropes and caricatures that strip them of all their tastiest qualities.
#am I feeling salty tonight?#I think I'm feeling salty tonight#I just woke up I shouldnt be this bitter#siiiiigh#radioapple do be tasting more like flavorless oatmeal the more I interact with the ship#these two should be the TASTIEST ship in the fandom#WHY DO THEY LACK SO MUCH SPICE??????#why are they so BORING#why isn't their messiest and most toxic flaws explored????#WHY DO THEY CONTINUE TO STRIP ALASTOR OF HIS GIRLYPOP I SWEAR TO GOD THATS WHAT MAKES THE MOST ANGRY#and I know people won't enjoy my radioapple depictions either#this isnt me saying that my depictions are superior to anyone elses#I just find the fandon-wide characterization of these two frustration#Radiostatic my beloved#out here saving my sanity#radiostatic#radioapple#appleradio#Staticradio#asks#anon#anonymous
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“Don't you hate her?”
Furina turned, eyebrows raised in confusion. “Huh?”
“Your creator. Don't you hate her?”
The girl pondered a moment, looking unsure. “I..don't know.”
“You should,” he asserted. “All this time you had to suffer alone, for what?? People who didn't even care about the real you?? People who were ungrateful and selfish and only cared about themselves, at the end of the day??”
“Not everyone is like that,” Furina protested, shaking her head slowly. “I ..did suffer, but it all worked out in the end. Besides, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her-”
“The same could be said for my mother,” Wanderer interrupted, eyes flashing. “I came into being because of her, but that doesn't make her a good person, or a good parent. She hurt me. These two facts can coexist. Focalors created you, yes, but she also subjected you to 500 years of suffering where you couldn't confide in ANYONE or risk losing everything. Wasn't that awful?? Wasn't it a horrible time? You were all alone living on a hope and a prayer, and if it went wrong, it would have been all for nothing. You were a means to an end, and what do you have to show for it? Sure, everybody was saved and all was well, but now you're just - a person, and people hate you for what you did, people hate you for what you DIDN'T do. Was it worth it?? Are you satisfied?”
“I am,” she nodded, after a beat. “Because, this is what I was created to do. And, I'm free now. I don't know what I'm going to do, but at least my life is mine. I can do whatever I want. I can live.” Wanderer's jaw clenched, and Furina frowned, nervously. “..why are you so angry?”
“Because SOMEONE has to be!” he shouted, voice cracking. “I mean- I heard about the trial, they were gonna kill you- they lured you there because you wouldn't talk, right? And then after everything, did anyone apologize to you or- praise you, for all the hell you went through? Anything??”
“.. Neuvillette is taking care of me.”
The pain on Wanderer's face was almost palpable, at that.
“..anything else?”
“.. it's fine," she tried to appease. "It's not like I serve any purpose anymore. Like I said, I did what I was created to, so I'm not of any use and-”
“Stop.”
“..what?”
“STOP- talking like that,” Wanderer snapped, eyes suspiciously glossy. She sounded so much like him, who he used to be, and it hurt so badly.
A blank sheet of paper has infinite potential, but it is nothing as long as it is empty, he'd said, a good while ago. He'd been wrong about himself, and Furina was wrong now.
“You're not just - what you were made for. You don't - what happened to you is wrong. You're not DISPOSABLE now that everything is over.”
“It- it was for everyone's sake, compared to my suffering, it's obvious what's more important! I had to save them! It’s what I was born for! It doesn't matter -”
“It DOES,” he yelled, eyes glowing an almost neon icy blue, and she startled. “Stop acting like your suffering was something that was necessary. Stop acting like it was just for the greater good. That doesn't matter! The fact of the matter is that you suffered, and you were hurt, and you're STILL hurting! And- barely anybody is there for you..your creator, she should have been there for you, she should have protected you, but she didn't. She didn't. And you - you have every right to be angry with her, for not being there for you. For you being unable to live, until now. It was wrong, even if it was, as she claimed, for the greater good. Don't defend her.”
"She loved me-"
"And she left you, so not enough."
Just like my mother ..
“...Wanderer,” Furina ventured, worry all over her face.
“What?”
“You're crying…”
..oh. He hadn't even noticed, but his cheeks WERE wet, and he put a hand to one with a start, quickly scrubbing at his face. “Ah-” and he pulled his hat over his face, to hide it.
“..it was a lot. I often wondered when everything would end. I wanted, to tell someone so badly what was going on,” Furina admitted, and Wanderer looked up, eyes red from weeping. “There were a lot of times I didn't think I was going to make it, but. But I did, and, and everything was okay.”
“But are you?”
There was a long pause, and the two of them stared at each other until Furina slowly shook her head no, hot tears streaming down her cheeks.
“See? You're - we're both so messed up, from everything, and no one was there,” Wanderer almost whispered, looking out the window. "No one was there to help. ..You're strong as hell, I'll give you that. If I was in your shoes, I don't know if I would have made it. It seems people are stronger than I've given them credit for..”
It was something that surprised him, again and again.
“I just don't understand why you care..”
“.. I don't know why I do,” he shrugged. “Maybe because you remind me of myself, and. It hurts, looking at you and feeling like I'm looking in the mirror. But someone has to be in your corner and -”
“And you want to do that?”
A pause.
“..Well, if you don't stand up for you, no telling who will.”
“You don't have to cry over me. I'm -”
“If you say you're not worth it, I am going to bodyslam you,” Wanderer growled, eyes flashing, and Furina put up her hands.
“I wasn't going to! I was going to say that I will be okay. Not now, but. Eventually. I'm healing. I promise. There's people who care, like you.”
Wanderer fell silent then, looking away, and she reached out and squeezed his hand. “Thank you. I'm still wrestling with - with what I want to do and where I'll go but. It's nice to know that I'm valued just for existing.”
“That's all you need to be valued,” he muttered, looking to the floor. “You don't have to prove the worth of your existence. It's fine to just be.”
“..are you talking to yourself, or me?”
He looked to her then, expression unreadable, and she smiled sadly, in understanding. “Both is good. It's okay to just be. We're here, and we'll be okay.”
“Yeah,” Wanderer whispered, giving a shaky breath. “..we will."
#screaming crying#i will probably go back and clean this up later but i just wanted to get it out there and start yelling#i think wanderer would be so so angry about what happened to furina and it just. weighs heavy on his heart and he's like god. GOD!!!#his heart is way squishier than he would like to admit he's ready to square up so quickly and had it not been for focalors being dead#oh BABY he'd have Some Words For Her#genshin impact#wanderer#furina#please god i am going to explode i am thinking so hard im in pain#ue ue ue ue ue#loved but left behind.....#a means to an end..you feel me...#im dyin scoob
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