#god damn this is why i dont date

[beansandanger]

anyone find out how to delete your feelings without drugs yet?

[vonlipvig]

oh my god i just suddenly remember the dream i had last night, can somebody tell me why the FUCK i dreamt i started going out with harry crane from mad men.

[inbabylontheywept]

bad dating stories time: the shoe incident

so in highschool, my best friend wasnt allowed to go on dates unless there was another couple there to keep an eye on him. part of this was his parents being insane, but also, part of it was him being insane. in a problem with no reasonable parties, there are no reasonable solutions.

at some point in my junior year, my sorta-gf broke up with me, and i just wasnt feeling dating, which was bad for my friend, because he had a good thing going with a girl he met in court.

he kind of hounded me about it. kept pushing me to just put me feet back in the dating pool and i wasnt real thrilled about it, because i knew he was pushing me for his own benefit, not mine, so i kept telling him to fuck off, and after a few weeks of being told that i would date when i was damn well ready, he eventually said: okay. what if i paid for the date AND found you a blind date AND all you had to do was show up?

and i shouldve said no, i know, but i let him wear me down, and i will own my fault in that. a date starting on such a stupid premise could never have gone well.

but he still managed to find a way to make it worse.

i dont know how long he tried to set a blind date up. it couldve been multiple attempts. he couldve stooped to this immediately. but what happened in the end was that he called a girl from the ward he attended - a girl that he knew had a giant, mushy crush on him - and he said: hey! how would you feel about going on a date this weekend?

(you know, implying it was with him, but never actually saying it.)

and she said YES WOW I WOULD LOVE TO and he said great! and then he called me up and said he found me a date.

i did not learn about his crimes until several weeks later. i will die swearing before god almighty that i would never have allowed this travesty to happen if i had known.

that was on a monday. the date of the date rolled around that friday evening, and im sorry to confess, i really phoned the whole thing in. i showed up in my favorite comfy outfit, which was also a fashion crime: basketball shorts and flipflops and a baja hoodie. it was super comfy but it made me look kind of crazy. i picked him up first, and then i picked up his date next, and then we went to pick up my date, and thats where you're gonna get the play by play.

i arrived, walked across the yard, and knocked on the front door. she opened it almost immediately, like shed been waiting right by it, and i could see her expression go from OMG IM SO EXCITED to super disappointed, then disgusted and finally pissed. and because i didn't know about my friends sins, i thought it was from my outfit. which seemed... harsh. like, hey, im allowed to be quirky, fuck you. also its a blind date, i thought the deal was that we were both going to be sad broken sacks of mortality.

anyway, we looked at each other for several seconds before she slammed the door in my face.

i looked back at my friend. he was sweating bullets. i dont know what he expected from this, but there was this big long pause where we both tried to figure out what to do, and then the door opened up, and her dad invited me in, and he said she was gonna need a few minutes to finish getting ready, and that in the meantime we could sit and talk.

we did not talk. we did sit. i sat down on the couch, and he sat down in a chair across the couch, and then instead of talking he cleaned his pistol on the coffee table. i wasnt actually sure if it was a threat, or if it was just a fidget thing for 40+ year old republican men, but when i tried to help he got snappy so i just watched him put a pistol back together.

he was okay at it.

eventually my date came downstairs, still mad as hell for reasons beyond my ken, and i felt pretty guilty for being such a mess because i thought that was why she was so angry. i tried to make up for by walking her to the car and getting the door for her, just generally trying to be extra polite, but before i could make it back to the drivers side, her dad called me back to the door. so i flipped around, went to the door, and immediately regreted my decision.

soon as i was within range, her dad got waaaay too close to me, leaned in, and said "whatever you do to her, i will do to you," and my brain went into overdrive making three consecutive realizations.

realization one was, damn, the pistol thing was a threat. that sucks. what an asshole. realization two was, wait, im autistic and even i know theres a 0% chance me and my date even hold hands, least of all boink. does this guy actually think there's even a 1% chance of anyone in that car getting laid tonight? is he an idiot? and then realization three went through, which was wait, is this guy threatening to fuck me? and unfortunately, with my brain doing so much processing, my mouth was left to run amok, so somewhere between realization 2 and 3, i said:

"i can't get pregnant"

which, i swear, wasn't actually me trying to be a smartass, it was just me pointing out that he couldn't actually follow up on that threat. it just wasn't possible. we do not live in the omegaverse and im not scared of you.

still, it was an insanely catastrophic thing to say, and the moment we both heard it, we bluescreened. that single sentence obliterated both of our momentary streams of consciousness like a saltine in front of a sand blaster. problem was, he'd probably gone his whole life not even realizing someone could say something that stupid, and making that realization was going to cost him a lot of thinking time. me though? i had been saying shit like that for 17 years, i didnt have to rewrite my expectations of human nature, i just had to plan an exit and start striding. so i was already halfway back to the car before i heard "hey. hey come back. Hey. Hey. HEY. HEY WAIT. HEY GET BACK HERE. HEY-"

and then i was in my car, and i drove away.

if this happened today, he'd have called her, and the whole thing wouldve imploded then and there, but back then, there were still a decent number of teenagers without cell phones. especially the teenagers of insane, gun toting parents. so she just said: whoa what was that all about? and i said: dont worry about it, he'll tell you about it when you get home.

and she said: ok and went back to staring daggers at me and my friend.

WHICH SURPRISINGLY isnt even how the story ends.

we went to an improv comedy show, and it was a disaster. it shouldve been like, 7/10 tops, but between my date being mad, and my friend having a good time, and me having the existential terror of knowing that a guy with a pistol was probably waiting outside his house for me to come back, it was easily 11/10. i laughed way too hard at everything. especially the jokes that flopped. id sit there in this mostly silent room and laugh until i dry heaved a little, and my date was absolutely disgusted, and even my friend was a little embarrassed, which would just make me laugh harder. i laughed so hard that night i could barely talk the next day. and then the show ended, and my friend said, you know, that was a good time, but i think we should maybe do something a little chiller? who wants to walk around the park? and his date said yeah, and my date said no, and i finally had mercy on the poor woman so i said, look, im gonna drop you off. and i am so, so sorry about this, but im dropping you off like a block away. super duper sorry.

do talk to your dad about the pistols thing if you dont want this happening more in the future tho.

and she said: okay. so i dropped her off, and she walked a block down, and that was that.

then i drove my friend and his date to a park that was good for wandering. i figured they wanted something more private, so instead of following them around point blank, i chose a park with this 30 foot rope tower, and i climbed to the top and i said: hey i can see you anywhere from up here, you are officially chaperoned from a distance. get panopticoned idiot. except my friend really is an idiot, and he didnt really get the whole 'now i dont have to third wheel so insanely hard with you guys' thing so he climbed up the tower too, and then his date followed behind him, so there are three people basically sitting together on top of a telephone pole.

and then they started making out.

i was close enough to hear it.

i didnt really know what to do so i was just kind of sitting there, dissociating, when some college kids came around and started shaking the tower. my friend's date went aaaaaaaaaa im afraid of heights :( and my friend went oh, dont worry, ill hold you tight ;) and i went hey, im gonna climb down and ask them to stop.

so i did climb down, and i did ask them to stop, and they flipped me off, which i wasnt even mad about. at that point i was i was like yeah, it would be weirder if this wasnt a mess. gods plan has been to fly this day like a 747 into my metaphorical twin towers and brother he is close enough for me to see him grinning through the cockpit window. still, eventually the college students got bored, so they climbed up the tower, which gave my friend and his date a window to climb down, and together we walked back to my car.

now, i cant explain why this is, but sitting back in the drivers seat was my carriage-back-into-a-pumpkin moment. i'd been chill about all the chaos, just rolling with the punches, but sitting down made me realize how much of a shitshow the day had been, and while i couldnt go back and fix all of it, i could go back and fix one thing.

so i told my friend and his date, hey, you two, stay here and don't do anything weird. don't. then i walked back to the rope tower, and i started picking up the shoes the college students had left at the base in order to climb.

about halfway through this, i realized that if i took all their shoes, they might think i was in it for the money, and i actually wanted them to know i was in it specifically to spite them. fuck those guys. so i put all the right shoes back, gave myself a 100 foot headstart, yelled "nice shoes, assholes", did a little jig, and started running.

my advice to everyone is that college students are faster than you think. even with the headstart, and the whole climb down the tower thing, i was still only fivish seconds ahead of them by the time i got to my car. i flung the door open, looked in the backseat, didnt see anyone, flung the stolen shoes in the backseat, heard two "ow"s, took that as proof of presence, jumped in and pealed out of the lot.

my friend and his date popped up a few seconds later. they were, uh, doing something weird in the back seat. my one request - obliterated.

they climbed up to ask where the hell all the shoes had come from, and i was like yeah i stole them from the college students, and they were like oh. cool. hope you had fun. and i was like, i did. i did. but speaking of fun, what were you doing back there?

and for the first time in my buddies life, i think he was actually embarassed.

[vaguenotions]

Oh, yes, I just love your unannounced sleepover where you both come back from the bar after carefully avoiding telling me that's where you were going, and also neglecting to tell me when you'd be home! I definitely do not want to knock you on your ass and take a bat to your dome! That would be rude and unnecessary :)

Oh yes, please do start talking about shit amongst yourselves and make me feel isolated and othered in ny own room! These moments are what I live for, of course. Naturally. Who would ever have any issues with this arrangement at all?

[edatheowlmilf]

i can not stop thinking about this random gamestop cashier i saw a few days ago. i should have hit on him fr fr

[coridallasmultipass]

.

[on-the-clear-blue]

Dead Man's Diner drabbles since I need to get back into writing it.

Robber, bursting through the door, gun already pulled out and shouting: EVERYBODY PUT YOUR FUCKING HANDS UP AND OPEN UP YOUR WALLETS

The whole God damn Batfam just looking up from their respective places in the diner:..

Danny, behind the counter, tired as hell from basically taking over feeding them all: Take the fucking shot.

---

Nightwing, laying dramatically over the breakfast bar as Danny walks in, a rose between his teeth: Hi~ I need to place an order

Danny, woke up 15 minutes ago: It is to early for this (it's 7 pm)

Nightwing, watching as Dany just turns around and leaves the diner: Wait no.

---

Bart/Wally/Berry, finally done helping their respective Bat with Gotham Things ™️, stumbling upon the Diner:Sweet, no need to run back home on empty!

Danny, seeing the one that he has seen Clockwork scream about walk into his diner: shit I gotta make a call.

(15 Minutes later)

Bart/Wally/Berry crying into a massive plie of pancakes as Clockwork reads them yo filth.

---

Wes, grumbling as he is kicked out of the diner for the fifth time this week: God damn it Fenton! Stopping hiding your ghostly existence! The people demand the truth!

Bernard, there because Tim recommended it, trying and failing to hit taking him there for a date, head snapping over to Wes like a horror movie: I sense a conspiracy theory.

---

Cass, squating on a bar stool: *pouting face*

Danny, squinting at her: No.

Cass, looking up at him with the most hurt expression: *kicked puppy look*

Danny, feeling terrible:Okay! Okay I will get Cujo to come over! A-and I will throw in Ellie!

Cass, breaking unto a smile: and hot coco?

Danny, fully broken by her: Sure, why the hell not.

---

Tucker and Sam, finally coming into the diner: honestly? Not as bad as I thought it would be.

(A Bat getting chucked through the door, and Rouge following after)

Tucker:Holy...is he okay?

Sam: I take back what I said.

Danny, looking at the property damage:Nope...nope this is normal, Red Hood your tab just doubled.

Jason, fully concussed: Sure thing...babe...

---

Based on an idea I have for later on, Jason and Danny are in the middle stage between friends and Dating and Jason finally gets to meet the other two of the everlasting trio...

Sam, has a baseball bat in hand that is starting to sprout out branches: You hurt Danny and you'll end up dead again, and this time you won't have the hands to dig your way out.

Tucker, with sparks flashing in his eyes and a grin on his face, his PDA blinks with info that no civilian should have: Jason Peter Todd-Wayne, I know all about you, mess things up with Danny and your Pride and Prejudice Self insert fanfiction gets shared with your family, as well as your Wattpad and Tumblr accounts will be sent directly to the Justice Leauge.

Jason, crying a little bit:Danny your friends are terrifying.

Danny, walking out in a pink apron:Oh shit...ugh, Sam! Tucker! I told you dont do that!.

---

Vlad, being a creep to Danny: Oh little badger...truly looking forward to seeing you begging for your life once more

Jason, equidded with Fenton works guns: Anyway I started Blasting.

[pomegranatesarchive]

it’s never over | sebastian vettel

pairing: sebastian vettel x actress!reader

summary: ten fateful years ago, y/n and sebastian vettel broke up, breaking hearts all over the world. present day, y/n starts leaving small hints about finding another lover. the world goes crazy.

liked by redbullracing, and 284,920 others!

ynandsebplscomeback: we are gathered here today, to mourn the loss of yn and sebastian vettels relationship. 10 years ago today, their breakup was announced, shattering the hearts of millions. please, we ask for a ten minute silence from you all, thank you.

view comments below!

user1: pls-i can’t take this rn 💔

user2: IT BEEN TEN YEARS??????

user3: ten depressing ass years

user4: the way we all thought they were coming back when they were sennas memorial tribute 🧍

user5: THEY WERE TALKING AND GIGGLING IT UP!!!!!! THEY TRICKED US 💔

redbullracing: 💔💔.

user6: i honestly think nobody was more hurt about the breakup then the redbull admin. they have been liking y/n+seb content since they broke up 😭😭

user7: THEY BROKE UP SO SEB COULD FOCUS ON HIS CAREER. HE NO LONGER HAS A CAREER SO THEY NEED TO GET BACK TOGHER RIGHT NOW.

user8: i remember when seb announced his retirement and everyone was so happy??? because this meant a more chance of y/n and him getting back together 😭

user9: i can’t do this right now. maybe tomorrow. not today.

user10: everyday i pray they get back together, today i will pray harder.

liked by redbullracing, charles_leclerc, and 837,205 others!

yourusername: calm days 💗

view comments below!

user11: no….no…no this can’t be

user12: who tf is that

user13: WHAT IS THIS?? ON THE TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY?? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

user14: m-maybe that’s seb?? pls cmon tell me it’s seb. y/n i beg.

user15: you’re dating another white man and it ISNT seb??? this is unacceptable.

redbullracing: why would you do this to me

yourusername: ?

user16: DONT. do not. question mark us right now.

user17: THAT ISNT SEB Y/N AND YOU KNOW IT.

user18: guys don’t worry!! that’s definitely seb!! just look at the finger tips…i compared them to other pictures of seb and it’s literally him!

user19: this is what crazy looks like

charles_leclerc: 🤩🤩

user20: WHAT DO YOU KNOW CHARLES

user21: SEE because if it WASNT seb charles definitely wouldn’t have commented. he’s the biggest y/n+seb shipper, behind the redbull admin ofc

user22: unless i see that man man’s face, and im 1003847% certain it isn’t seb. i will continue to believe that it is sebastian and they reconnected and are planning to live happily ever after 😝😝

user23: can you guys stop harassing y/n for moving on after 10 years 😑😑

user24: seb and y/n haven’t dated anyone since they split. i feel like it’s time for her to move on. this is good for her

liked by yourusername, scuferiaferrari, and 962,927 others!

sebastianvettel: calmer days!

view comments below!

user25: wait a damn minute

user26: ITS HAPPENING STAY CALM EVERYONE STAY FUCKING CALM

user27: that’s y/ns leg. i fucking know it.

user28: AND HER HAND!! ITS HER FUCKING HAND GUYS!!

user29: WAR IS OVER

user30: omg wait i’m crying

user31: istg if this turns out to NOT be y/n. i will be killing myself.

redbullracing: are those the birds chirping? the sun shining?

user32: i know admin is jump in up and down in happiness

user33: OKAY GUYS WIAT WAIT WAIT J BEED TO PROCESS THIS. I NEED TIME

charles_leclerc: ❤️❤️

user34. HE KBEW!! HE FUCKING KNEW!!

user34: wait he knew….

user34: YOU FUCKING KNEW AND DIDNT SAY ANYTHING FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG?? YOU SICK SICK FUCK

user35: nobody will ever understand how happy i am right now

liked by redbullracing, yourusername, and 1,730,026 others!

sebastianvettel: happy one year anniversary to my beautiful beautiful wife ❤️❤️ here’s to many more!

view comments below!

redbullracing: what

redbullracing: is this a joke?

redbullracing: please don’t mess with me like this

redbullracing: OMG

redbullracing: OH MY GOD

user36: holy. fucking. shit.

user37: you sick fuckers. YOU HAVE SEEN WHAT YOUR BREAKUP CAUSED AND ALL THIS TIME YOUVE BEEN MARRIED???

user38: FOR A WHOLE ASS YEAR NO LESS

user39: i don’t know if im happy that your married or mad that you LET ME THINK YOU WERE STILL BROKEN UP

user40: so many mixed emotions rn

user41: this is making my head hurt…in a good way

user42: THIS MEANS THEY WERE TIGTHER DURING THE SENNA TRIBUTE. I FUCKING KNEW IT.

charles_leclerc: happy one year 👏👏❤️

user43: okay but how did charles keep this a secret…

user44: RIGHT?? i feel liked he’d be the first to accidentally say something 😭

liked by sebastianvettel, charles_leclerc, and 964,016 others!

yourusername: my beautiful beautiful husband 💗 one year down! many more to come!!

view comments below!

redbullracing: my god it’s real…

redbullracing: MY GOD ITS REAL

redbullracing: AHHHHHH

user45: this is the most relatable thing ever

user46; thank you gods 🙏🙏🙏

user47: ive reached peak happiness

user48: okay but when are we getting wedding pics???🤨

user49: NO FUCK THIS. i need a timeline of EVERYTHING. when they met, when the got together, when they b-broke up, WHEN THEY STARTED DATING AGAIN??, when they got engaged, AND WHEN THEY GOT FUCKING MARRIED???

user50: what kills me is that we will probably never get this information 💔💔

user51: i can die peacefully now, thank you y/n ❤️

. . .

notes; my first seb smau, hope you enjoy!! :)

[eicsferrari]

never met - op81 smau

summary: people start making up rumors about oscar and yn. problem is they never actually met

face claim: random girls from pinterest

a/n: this is chaos but it was fun to write hope you like it

masterlist

જ ♡ જ

gossipf1 singer yn and oscar piastri are reported to be dating according to inside sources

view all comments

user5 please let this be true

lando rue, when did this happen?

user14 helppp what is lando doing here

user3 my two worlds colliding

user7 she's not good enough for him

user8 ?? he's not good enough for her

yn inside sources who??? i never saw this man in my life😭😭

user10 he's a formula 1 driver

yn oh i only know lewis hamilton aka the goat aka the loml

user10 fair

yn he looks cute tho👀

sabrinacarpenter no yn!

yn 😊😊

જ ♡ જ

yn posted a story

caption: this is the man yall think i pulled? Damn thank u

replies

↪sabrinacarpenter you are insane😭

↪lando +61 12345678 text him

જ ♡ જ

yn jazzy nights are my favorite

♡liked by sabrinacarpenter, oscarpiastri and others

view all comments

user6 best night of my life

sabrinacarpenter i'm in love with you😍

yn me when i see you

user1 oscar liked...

user4 don't start

user1 i just stated a fact

user9 obsessed with your voice, i want you to sing me to sleep every night

જ ♡ જ

gossipf1 yn and oscar spotted hanging out after her concert

view all comments

user8 i fear this couple would be too iconic

user4 just... no

user5 i dont know this man my ass

yn in my defense i really haven't met him then!

lando it's true i can confirm

lando i can also confirm yn was oscar's most listened artist last year

oscarpiastri why are you here?

lando gossip is my bat signal

જ ♡ જ

yn trip made it out of the groupchat

view all comments

lando groupchat and it's only two people

yn get off my comments

lando i got you his number and this is how you repay me?

user9 lando tell us who it is🙏🏼

user3 if lando set them up it has to be oscar

user7 i'm in love with her aesthetic

user5 white shirt=oscar

user14 stop we don't know

sabrinacarpenter did my invite get lost in the mail?🤨

yn babe i'm sorry he means nothing you are the love of my life

જ ♡ જ

oscarpiastri posted a story

caption good company yn

replies

↪user4 gossipf1 ended up setting you two up huh

↪sabrinacarpenter i remember when i was the one taking her pictures...💔

જ ♡ જ

yn sorry osc i go where lewis goes🏎️

view all comments

oscarpiastri 😐

user4 osc🥺🥺

scuderiaferrari everyone is a ferrari fan ♡liked by author

francocolapinto hamilton fan first, a girlfriend second. i respect that

user5 did he just confirm that they are girlfriend and boyfriend?

mclaren 💔

yn sorry😔

charles_leclerc i approve son oscarpiastri

yn forza ferrari!

user26 we lost her to a sports guy...

જ ♡ જ

oscarpiastri posted a story

caption prettiest girl is in fact my girlfriend

replies

↪yn giggling blushing throwing up kicking my feet🥺🫶🏼

જ ♡ જ

yn posted a story

caption he's still mad i did not wear orange

replies

↪lando it's papaya not orange😡

yn same fucking thing

lando it's not !!

yn ok but the word papaya is so ugly

lando YOU TAKE THAT BACK

જ ♡ જ

yn the rumors are now true, i'm his favorite artist and he's my (second) favorite driver

view all comments

user18 she's gorgeous😍 he's just there😐

francocolapinto yes yes you might kiss but did he ever say he wanted to learn your language just to understand your jokes? i don't think so

yn call me when you are his top artist on spotify loser

user12 don't mind me i'm just patiently waiting for the love songs this will inspire

oscarpiastri you are never going to let me live this down, right?

yn you are stuck with me and my bad jokes sorry bro

sabrinacarpenter just remember she was mine first papaya boy

oscarpiastri noted🫡

જ ♡ જ

oscarpiastri she finally wore papaya

view all comments

user2 she's so hot🥵

yn not that word again😭

lando i will block you if you keep hating on the papaya

yn do it i dare you

yn i look so good tho

oscarpiastri you always look amazing

yn i love me a boy who can sweet talk

lando god stop being cheesy on main🤢

yn weren't you going to block me??

lando i should have

yn just do it you coward

user23 yes yn put the car guy in his place!

lando why are you supporting her when your page is dedicated to me??? are you a fan or a hater?

user23 i'm your biggest fan! but i support women's rights and women's wrongs so i'm with yn

yn HA even your fans like me better😛

lando you stole my teammate and now my fans what else do you want from me😭😭

જ ♡ જ

lando posted a story

caption disgusting

replies

↪yn disgustingly cute yes

lando whatever helps you sleep at night

જ ♡ જ

oscarpiastri posted a story

caption dont let their online banter fool you, they are friends

replies

↪yn babe don't expose us like that😔

જ ♡ જ

oscarpiastri 🧡

view all comments

yn DELETE what if lewis sees this?

user21 she's so real

lewishamilton i feel betrayed

yn nooo💔😔 you will always be n1 in my heart

oscarpiastri 😐

yn deal with it

yn i am so incredibly proud of you and i love supporting you🥺🧡

oscarpiastri thank you for being here<3

જ ♡ જ

yn posted a story

caption i'm going to tell my kids this is their dad

જ ♡ જ

yn posted a story

caption just kidding, i love you oscar

replies

↪ oscarpiastri i love you more❤️

[marsmaximoff]

💔; crimson pain -a different kind of blood

content warning: gn!reader who plays as number 028. (dating) angst. mentions of death, financial struggles, vomit, blood and fainting.

word count: 1935. i got a bit too carried away 😬

author’s note: finally, here it is. i’ve had this idea for so long but the universe wasn’t on my side, it seems. i really wanted to post it sooner 🥲. as always, constructive criticism is welcomed, and i apologize for the mistakes (english is my third language). oh, and tysm for the support on the jun-ho headcanons post! what do you mean over 1000 likes? that is insane 🤧🤧. i hope you’ll enjoy this one too. 🩷🩷🩷🩷

the sugary umbrella lays on your shaky hand, under the excruciating yet unmasked gaze of the soldier. once the ‘pass’ is given, you stand up ready to get out of there. “you made it!” the voice of the one that has become the closest thing to a friend you could have in here relaxes you ever so slightly. “i almost didn’t. can’t believe i’m adding umbrellas to my traumas list.” having chosen the hardest doesn't surprise you much, not with unluckiness being a part of your life since you can remember. “well, im just happy you did. i thought the square was simple, but now i feel like we should have just chosen the triangle instead, you know? take a look at the survivors; most of them chose it and….” his words fade as an eerie feeling takes over your body, like something’s wrong. turning around, you’re met with one of them, staring right at you completely stiff, not even holding the weapon, merely some feet away.

“is he looking at us?” he can sense the uneasiness too, it seems. “let’s just go.” you can still feel his unfamiliar gaze on your neck, sending a shiver down your spine.

the doors opening break the silence and the rare calmness of the room. “player 028?” your body freezes completely. a stomach drop follows, and your heart rate skyrockets. no. nonono. you’ve done nothing wrong. is it the dalgona? the figure was perfectly carved out; you made sure of it. are they gonna kill you? two soldiers stand by the entrance, waiting. with a final glance at your friend, who is most definitely thinking the same, you reach the pink guards. you don’t even know what to say, should you beg for mercy? try to stay as cooperative as possible? “be quick.” what? the other one grabs your arm and begins to lead you somewhere. “i-i don’t-” your hands are shaking. “please, i didn’t do anything wrong...” begging it is. “keep. walking.” the words are almost a whisper, tho demanding. a hint of desperation can be heard as well. “okay, okay, ok-” wait. why did those words- no. you’re going crazy. it’s just the anxiety, the fear. 

the stranger takes you to the bathrooms and quickly closes the door. you step back. again. and once more. what now? he wouldn’t shoot you here, right? and why the hell does he look so tense? his hands move to his mask and make it disappear, and with it, the remaining bit of sanity you had.

the nausea from a few seconds ago comes back stronger, maybe you will die today. “jun-ho…” your voice is almost unrecognizable, tho a miracle, given the struggle breathing has become. “what are you doing here?” “i could ask you the same thing.” he’s angry, of course he is, but the hurt in his eyes pains you the most. “no….you need to get out of here.” god. you can feel yourself spiraling. nothing makes sense. “i will. and im taking you with me.” “h-how- when did- i-“ cold sweat has completely taken over your palms. “wait….wait. was it you?…. this morning?” he nods. “i found the damn card they gave you at yours and my brother’s house” what? “in-ho…?” why does everything keep getting worse? “have you seen him?” surely you would remember something like that, “n-no. maybe before the first game…..” you heed your legs’ warning to give up and sit down. “why are you doing this? i dont understand.” it’s not like he could. “they let you out. and you didn’t seek me. you hid yourself. again. i had to learn what was going on from a random man at the station. not you!!” silence between you had never felt this suffocating before, nor the atmosphere so uncanny. “don’t you realize how dangerous this is? they are killing innocent people! haven’t you realized?! 79 have died today. just because of a stupid cookie? what do you think you are doing?! you could have gotten yourself killed! you have no idea how worried i’ve been.” you don’t look at him. this shouldn’t be happening, he wasn’t supposed to find out.

“please, honey. this is insane and you know it. let’s get out of this madness.” the change in his tone of voice is evident, bordering the plea. it’s obvious he’s making an effort to remain calm, to use less confrontational comments. “i can’t.” “yes, you can. we’ll leave the same way i got here, don’t worry. no one will see us.” but you really can’t. you know that well. he sighs, “why didnt you tell me? how could you hide something like this from me? i thought we trusted each other.” 

distress seems to have replaced the blood running through your veins. “i would have helped you, always. i can still do it. if you need money, i’ll give it to you, it’s not a problem.” he keeps going after your negative. “i will. we can find another way-” “there isn't.” “of course there is. i have my savings, we’ll use them. i can ask for a raise. mr kim owes me after all this time. and i could do more hours-”

“its not FUCKING ENOUGH!” the sharpness of your words cuts all over his face. pain flows out, dripping a bloody red. more silence. you could drown in it. well, in for a penny, in for a pound.

“my parents’ house is gonna get seized.” a burning throat accompanies the confession. “i messed up like crazy.” the expected embarrassment doesn’t show up, instead, regret does. “it’s not your fault.” how can he say that? “it is. i got them into this, I'll get them out.” “and you think risking your life here is the only way to do it? thats not true. god, why didn’t you tell me?” you rub your temple. “that doesn’t matter now. you-you need to get out, all this is suspicious.” you are not only trying to avoid the question, the guards could notice at any moment. “i told them you were gonna throw up.” “vomit or not you’re still in the bathroom with a player.” for some seconds, the only noise that can be heard is the shatter of your heart. “honey, listen to me. your parents wouldn’t want this. they don’t even blame you, im sure. how could they ever wish for something at the expense of their daughter’s life?” but the guilt is too heavy, too imprinted on your mind. “it’s not about me. if it were my house, i wouldn’t care, but it’s theirs. i would never forgive myself for not doing anything.” “and there are so many things you could do that don’t need you participating in some psychopaths’ games! do you really not see how dangerous and demented this is? please leave with me.” “jun-ho. think about it. if i ended up here, even after they gave us a second chance, it’s because i want to. no one forced me, and i’m old enough to know what i’m doing.” your replies are getting colder, which you hate. but it’s the only way to make him understand. “besides, they’re all kids' games. they’re easy.” you can only hope he won’t sense your attempt at self-persuasion. “they are shooting people. you could be dead. and i would have never seen you again, or known what had happened.” the urge to cry gets stronger with every word, to dive into his arms and finally feel some sort of calmness, warmth, love.

“i’m sorry that i hurt you, that i made you worry and feel like i couldn’t trust you. but i won’t apologize for being here.” “i don’t want you to apologize. i only want you to get out of here and not die.” his desperation has increased so much it’s swallowed your own distress. “i’ve already won two, i can make it to the end.” you refute. but you read him easily, he is planning to get you out without your agreement, somehow.

“please.” now it’s you that pleads. “if you love me, let me stay.”

his eyes widen, you see them watering. his heartbreak drowns out yours. you are aware you’ve never said anything as painful before. it hurts. more than anything they could do to you here. perhaps you are already dead. “how can you ask me something like this?” maybe you’re desperate, or too blinded by the blame that’s rotting on your insides. or perhaps it’s love. “get out of here. stay safe. and don’t tell the police, jun-ho. don’t even think about stopping the games. i need this, don’t ruin it.” god you don’t recognize yourself anymore. how nice it would be to go back when things were easy. when remorse didn’t control yourself, and you were happy with him. “what do you expect me to do if you die?” “i won’t” “you can’t know that! how can i let the love of my life risk it all when i know i could do something?” understanding such perspective is effortless. if it were the other way around, you too would act like he is.

you approach him for the first time, god how you craved it. your hands cup his pained yet beautiful face and a tear drops. “i missed you.” he says quietly, unable to stay angry at you for long. “i missed you too.” you answer back, wiping the tear. “i missed your face, your voice, your touch. i miss your kisses.” things already ache enough like this, so you give in. the kiss is soft, so fragile, like a bit more intensity would make it disappear. “i love you.” he whispers resting his forehead on yours. “i love you too.”

a knock on the door destroys the illusion. shit. “lay on the floor.” “what?” “lay on the floor”, he repeats, walking towards the door while putting his mask back on, “and play along.” the door opens and the same voice from earlier speaks. “what do you think you’re doing in there?” may that unluckiness give you a rest for some minutes. “she passed out. she was taking too long and not answering back so i entered and found her unconscious.” footsteps grow louder. “player 028…. i don’t remember any health issues on the file… fuck.” you stay as still as possible, it sounds plausible, given the stress. “take care of it, i’ll let the boss know. and don’t take longer.” with that, he exits the room, and you thank his unwillingness to deal with sensitive issues.

sitting back up, jun-ho kneels to your level. “you look good for a faint.” a hint of a smile appears on your face. “are you mad at me?” “i was. mostly worried. i don’t like this at all.” you grab his gloved hands. “i’ll be okay, believe me.” he doesn’t. he can’t. “please, be careful. and think about it. if you change your mind, i’ll be waiting.” you won’t. you wouldn’t let yourself. but you nod. “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. i hope you’ll carry that with you. i love you so damn much.” his voice breaks, and you tell yourself it’s time to go back, this conversation can only get more and more devastating for you both. you offer the bleeding and broken pieces of your heart. not meaning to cut him this time. and he takes them. how could he not treasure them? you kiss again. it tastes different this time. like farewell. 

and when you get out of the room, you both know that was the last time you’ll see each other. 

[hellsitegenetics]

genome THIS (pleag. it would make me happy):

STUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING JURGEN LEITNER GOD DAMN FOOL BOOK COLLECTING DUST EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT AVATAR OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING JURGEN LEITNER

STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT JURGEN LEITENER I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY FUCKED UP BOOKS WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST SET THEM LOOSE IS HE DEAD IS HE A BASTARD MAN HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS MANS FACE AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS SHITTIEST BEARD GET AWAY FROM ME

if i wanted to get into heaven and god said jurgen leitners waiting inside i would piss on gods feet for the sole purpose of getting sent back down

if i have to deal with jurgen leitner speaking one word in person on voice in podcast not only will i close the tab i will delete my bookmark out of spite and have to rewatch the entire series again for the experience of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned or alive

i dont even know why i hate him so much. he collects books but i am just mad because i am angy

he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some rich shithead whos a fan of creepypasta and wanted the irl version ill go ham

BETTER have had a book make him kill a man cuz if he didnt Im going to make him

paypal.com/IFuckingHateJurgenLeitner

episodes not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be his library and I lost it

where the fuck is jurgen leitner if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt

crusty old man

ill punch leitner and his sad frail old man twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until all thats left is one final book he kept on him at all times simply titled Now You Fucked Up in ancient yiddish

im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point

i hope theres a date given for when jurgen died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone

everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the man who had so many fucked up if true books

String identified:

T T TCG G T G A CCTG T ATG AT ATA TA T AATA T GGT C T CC AG T T C TCG G T

T G TA AT G T AT C A A C C T C A A T T T T A A ATA A A C A CA ACT T T T A AC A A T TTT A GT AA

at t gt t a a g a g t atg g t t gttg t ac

a t a t g t ag c cat t c t ta t a t t a a t atc t t aga t c g a t a t t t a

t at c. cct t a t a ca a ag

tt a c act t a t t c ta a a cata a at t g a

TT a a a a a a c t gg t a

aa.c/cgatgt

t at . ag t at t a a a t t

t c g t t a gg t at

ct a

c t a a a a tg a aat c g at t a tgat t a tat t a t at a t tt c act

t atg tatg at t t

t a at g g ca a t a

a c a a t a atg t a ct t t a a a c t

Closest match: Calendula officinalis genome assembly, chromosome: 11 Common name: Marigold

[vampiresbloodx]

arcane characters react to you flirting with them;

characters included; mel medarda, caitlyn, vi, sevika.

a/n: it ended up being more of a confession for the most part :q

Mel medarda;

Mel is used to men hitting on her all the time. It happens more than you think and more than she likes. Even during times where it's less appropriate. When Mel first met you, she thought you were strange, in a good way, she liked you instantly. You were friends with Viktor. You had your wits and humor, she liked talking with you and spending time with you when she was supposed to be doing her work.

She couldn't help but linger around you more, you probably thought she was being a creep, but you didn't seem to mind her presence, in fact, you welcomed it.

The night she wanted to come and see you, you had surprised her with your own visit.

"hi-"

"hello-"

you both paused, smiling to yourselves as she stiffs a chuckle in amusement.

you stood there, biting down on your bottom lip.

"mel-"

"yes?" mel said, giving you her full attention.

"I think... you're the most beautiful woman ive ever met, i know you probably get that a lot, but your beauty goes beyond your looks that most people only seem to see of you, i cant blame them, you're a walking goddess, i dont even know why you would even speak to me.... I" you paused, closing your eyes as she felt her heart pick up a pace, as she watches you carefully gather yourself. "I like you. I know i could never be worthy enough to actually date you..."

before you could say more you felt arms wrap around your neck, pulling you in as you smelt her rich scent, you inhaled it in, hoping if this was a dream you wouldnt wake up.

"I've been hoping you'd come to me, I was going to tell you regardless, I'm so glad you told me."

then she kissed you. her lips felt way better than in your dreams.

Caitlyn;

You see a blue haired beauty sitting in a table not far from where the bar is, the place wasnt that loud tonight, which was weird for you. You've grown so used to the noise that the silence is a bit too much.

your other co worker, who was your friend, had finished their shift already and you were the last one left for close. people still hung around until late, business men, bikers, truckers coming in for a drink stop, group of girls coming in for some fun.

The usual.

You thought youve seen it all, then you laid eyes on her.

she was prettier than the night sky.

you wondered why she was sitting by herself looking so pretty in that blue dress, did someone set her up? did her date not come? that seems hard to believe why would anyone miss out on that.

You decided to go over to her.

"Did they not decide to show?" you started up a conversation.

Light and easy.

she looked up, not expecting anyone to talk to her.

"canceled last minute, i hope they crash."

you couldnt help but laugh at that, she smiled.

"Why would they cancel on someone as beautiful as you?" you asked, out loud, god you hoped she didn't think you were a creep.

"are you trying to fill their spot?" she asks boldly with a raised eyebrow, you stared into her gaze.

"I finish in 5."

you lied.

"Doesnt this place stay open for another hour?" she questions.

"so is that a no?"

"I never said that, see you in 5."

Vi;

usually vi would be the one to hit on girls, asking them out, taking them out on dates, flirting with them. but that all changed when she met you, a biker she fell in love with at first sight.

you had come into the bar she was already at, drinking away, she was in a mood, she had gotten in a fight and couldnt be bothered dealing with more idiots.

but you came walking in and stole her whole heart.

she thought you were a creepy man at first, trying to get in her damn pants, when she heard someone sit on the stool next to her, she wanted to curse.

but when she looked and saw you taking off your helmet, her heart stopped.

you caught her staring.

"Hi? is there something on my face?" you asked, nervous.

she wasn't expecting that.

"ah, i got it" she watched you wipe a bit off dirt away from under your eyes, she was captivated by you. "Can i get you a drink?" you asked.

thats usually her line. wait, did you just flirt with her? and she wasnt the one calling the shots?

she froze, blushing hard.

"you okay?" you asked, worried.

"yeah, yeah, uh, its nothing. ill have a whiskey."

"you like whiskey too? youve got taste" you hummed, she bit down on her lip hard.

she let you take her back to yours that night, and she doesnt regret it. neither do you.

sevika;

Sevika wasnt one to take compliments. But secretly, she had a soft spot for them. On the outside, shes rough, shes still rough on the inside, but she only shows those certain softness for those she really cares about.

She knew you for a lil while, you had come in working for Silco, she was obviously wary of you at first and kept her distance.

And a part of her always wanted to be near you.

It started with that and then it turned into something more, she couldn't stop thinking about you.

You couldn't keep your eyes off her whenever she was in the room, you felt your breath leave your body, she was a goddess.

After a few drinks, you couldnt stop yourself from going to the woman who sat by herself, you caught her eyeing you throughout the night.

Deciding your fate, you sit in the chair next to her.

"Sevika, I think you're really pretty.... like so pretty. You can hate me forever if you wanna, but I like you so much" you spilled everything to her, the whole truth, as she sat in silence and watched intensely. "wow, the power of alcohol, im.... ignore what i said, fuck, Ill leave you-"

you felt a strong grip grab your thigh, making you turn your attention back to her.

"Who said I wanted you to leave?" Sevika said with a grin, rubbing her hand on your skin causing your body to shudder from her touch. "You wanna follow me, hm, baby?" she murmured.

You nodded.

and happily followed her into the night.

[n0vazsq]

Barcelona boy | Marc Bernal x Reader

pairing . . . marc bernal x sainz!gf!reader

summary . . . Announcing that you're dating a Barcelona boy (when you were from Madrid and when your brother is probably the biggest Real Madrid fan) was hard, but the internet had your back, at least mostly

request . . . yes!! based on this request!

word count . . . N/A

warnings . . . none! reader is youngest sainz and is 17!! ALSO convos between carlos, reader and marc (basically spanish speakers) will be in spanish but written in english bc i dont want to bother with wrong translation <3

faceclaim . . . various girls from pinterest!

alexavia yaps . . . lmk if i should make a part 2!!!! legit spent like 27 years trying to find plot ideas for this when it finally clicked last night so yes!! i hope yall like it! ALSO IGNORE HOW THE POSTS CHANGE FORMAT HALFWAY THROUGH I HAD TO COMPENSATE THE IMAGE LIMIT!!

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, lando_norris, marcbernal_ and 344K others

yourusername THANK GOD hes going back to racing, istg one more day and i wouldve killed myself <3 AT LEAST piñón is all mine now!!

click to view all comments

username1 HOW CAN YOU BE SO PRETTY BRUSHING YOUR GODDAMN TEETH??

username2 on my knees for both of them

carlossainz55 that's how you treat your older brother?

yourusername yes??

carlossainz55 we need to teach you manners again

yourusername whos WE?? you need to be retaught manners too

carlossainz55 EXCUSE ME???

yourusername excused ❤❤

username3 woag

username4 so like when is our wedding

username5 y/n feeding us with carlos content omg i love her

username6 seems like someone else loves her too.....talking to you marcbernal_

username5 whos that

username6 hes a footballer and hes been lurking in y/ns likes for like centuries

username5 damn thats deep

lamineyamal posting for him?

yourusername no ❤❤

lamineyamal sure

yourusername lamine i swear

lamineyamal swear what?

yourusername no

lamineyamal okay then

yourusername NO DONT @ HIM

lando_norris i dont understand whats going on but seeing y/n scared is worth it

username7 oh my

username8 the sainz siblings are my bisexual awakening

username9 can someone tell me the relationship between lamine and y/n?

username6 theyre friends!! i think they had a mutual school friend who introduced them to each other and then they became friends

username10 PINON!!!!!!!!!!!!

username11 why does she know so many barca players when shes literally from madrid

username12 oh golly time to go die because ill never get a chance with her

username13 real

marcbernal_ beautiful

Liked by creator

username14 MARC BERNAL CASAS EXPLAIN THIS?????

username15 bros FINALLY shooting his shot

username16 about TIME

username17 this is a monumental day for y/n and marc shippers

username18 meow

username19 sigh to be as beautiful as her

username20 she should do modelling

marcbernal_

liked by paucubarsi, lamineyamal, yourusername and 721K others

marcbernal_ visiting madrid but still found a way to connect to barca

click to view all comments

username21 what is bro doing in madrid

username22 tourism??

username21 doesnt that girl y/n signs or sum live in madrid

paucubarsi visca barca!

marcbernal_ visca barca ❤💙

username23 theyve been brainwashed by the barca headquarters

username24 i mean its their job

username25 hes so cute i cant

username26 IS THAT FUCKING PIÑÓN?!??!?!?

username27 VISCA BARCA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

username28 ofc yourusername is in the likes

username29 i need marc in ways that are concering to feminisim

username30 oh to be famous

username31 manifesting a barca win

username32 when i say i need to be wag i meant be HIS wag

lamineyamal who's dog is that?

marcbernal_ none of your business

lamineyamal don't get feisty lover boy

username33 lover boy huh

username34 i live for lamine terrorising and violating marc

username35 AHHH I SAW HIM OUTSIDE THE SHOP

username36 WE HAVE BEEN FED A MARC SELFIE

username37 hes so pretty i say as i sigh dreamily

username38 not lamine terrorising both marc and y/n LMFAO

username39 i just know hes their number one shipper

username40 ARGENTINA MENTION??? VAMOS 🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷🇦🇷

yourusername

liked by carlossainz55, lando_norris, marcbernal_ and 451K others

yourusername ew im reunited with carlos but im back on the track!! carlos starting p2 but i have hope for him! FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE

click to view all comments

username41 dare i say WHAT IS MARC BERNAL DOING IN THE LIKES

username42 weirdest crossover fr

username41 i just realised they might be together so its not weird

scuderiaferrari forza ferrari 🏁🏎️

yourusername VAMOS CARLOS 🇪🇦🇪🇦🇪🇦🇪🇦🇪🇦

username43 HELP y/n is not having any of that italian propaganda

username44 what a life

username45 can i marry her so i can attend the races too

username46 mothered so hard the earth cracked

carlossainz55 my bad luck charm ❤

yourusername consider death?

carlossainz55 no

yourusername thats sad, you should consider it

carlossainz55 stop telling me to kill myself

yourusername no

carlossainz55 im telling mama

yourusername pls no im sorry

lando_norris so this is how i make y/n shut up

username47 i live for the sainz sibling shenanigans

username48 real stuff

username49 oh to be related to a f1 driver

username50 manifesting a carlos win so he gets to spray y/n with the champagne

username51 bribing max to let carlos win

username52 guys y/n is my wife btw

username53 nah shes my wife

marcbernal_ MY wife

This reply has been deleted

username52 did marc bernal just reply to my comment or am i schizophrenic

username54 probably the latter bc i didnt see anything

username53 me either

username55 that book is not a want its a need

username56 dream in life is to attend a gp

username57 AND see y/n there

username58 just realised that if she dates marc then we get marc paddock appearances

username59 a goddess

username60 i NEED her omg

username61 I MET HER IN THE GP AND SHE WAS SO NICE OMG

username62 LUCKYYYY

username63 GOD HAS FAVS

username64 MY DREAMMM UGHH

marcbernal_

liked by paucubarsi, lamineyamal, yourusername and 693K others

marcbernal_ 🏝️☀️

click to view all comments

username65 SIR???

username66 marc you cant post this then refuse to elaborate

username67 SOFT LAUNCH?????

paucubarsi ohh getting brave arent we

marcbernal_ shut up

paucubarsi never 😊

username68 WHOS THE GIRL

username69 is that y/n or am i delusional

username70 fell to my knees in a walmart

lamineyamal 👀

marcbernal_ 🤐

username71 why are they communicating in emojis

username72 HEAR ME OUT. the girl is y/n

username73 shes in the likes too

yourusername pretty

Liked by creator

username74 NOT A DRILL NOT A DRILL WE GOT A Y/N COMMENT

username75 WHOS Y/N IM SO SICK OF NOT KNOWING

username76 shes carlos sainz's sister

username77 and lamine's friend

username78 also rumored to be dating marc

username79 and she's the biggest barca fan despite being from madrid (she legit blocks her brother when she uploads herself in barca merch)

username80 the lore is insane

username81 HES SO GORGEOUS IM SOBBING

username82 who taught this man to take aesthetic pics

username83 hes growing up and posting soft launches now 🥹

username84 we took his baby stage for granted 😔💔

yourusername

liked by marcbernal_, carlossainz55, yourbsf and 511K others

yourusername carlos won his last race so now im on vacation from f1

click to view all comments

carlossainz55 IS THAT A MAN????

yourusername yes that is a MAN

carlossainz55 answer the phone

carlossainz55 Y/N I AM NOT PLAYING GAMES PICK UP THE PHONE

carlossainz55 Y/N SAINZ VAZQUEZ DE CASTRO

carlossainz55 im coming over

username85 carlos freaking out over y/n having a bf is so cute ngl

lando_norris dont give him ideas

username85 LANDO REPLIED TO MY COMMENT WTF????

username86 TWO SOFT LAUNCH PICS IN ONE POST???

username87 we better not take this for granted

username86 true words

lamineyamal 👀

yourusername shhhh

username28 WHAT IS LAMINE DOING HERE?!??!?!!?

username89 crashing out bc he commented the same thing on marc's post and both y/n and marc had the same reply

username88 so they basically hard launched

username89 yes

username90 a FUCKING NECK is my gay awakening

username91 SHE INST SINGLE ANYMORE?

username92 im calling it thats marc bro

username93 GORGEOUSSSS

username94 HOW is she SO PRETTY??????? i need y/n to give me all her secrets bro

lando_norris oh boy

yourusername what are you 'oh boy'ing for

lando_norris if carlos finds out who he is, youre dead meat

yourusername he'll find it with the rest of the internet

lando_norris alright then

username95 what did lando mean??

username96 i need y/ns life

username97 how to be like her no glue no borax

yourusername

liked by marcbernal_, lando_norris, paucubarsi and 678K others

yourusername visca barca, visca marc. love you mi amor 🫶 Tagged: marcbernal_

click to view all comments

username98 DIED

username99 OH MY GOD????

username100 I KNEW ITTTTTTT

username101 cue the carlos meltdown in...

username102 3...

username101 2...

username102 1...

carlossainz55 Y/N SAINZ VÁZQUEZ DE CASTRO CENAMOR RINCÓN REBOLLO BIRTO MORENO DE ARANDA DON PERO URRIELAGOIRIA PÉREZ DEL PULGA

carlossainz55 A BOY????

carlossainz55 YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND??

carlossainz55 A BARCELONA BOY????

carlossainz55 COULDNT CHOOSE ANY OTHER BOY???

carlossainz55 YOU DISGRACE

carlossainz55 TRAITOR

yourusername are you done?

carlossainz55 NO

yourusername dont say it then

username103 dont know if i should be shocked or unsurpirsed

username104 both

lando_norris congrats n/n!! so happy for both of you

yourusername thank you lando 🫶

marcbernal_ thank you!!

username105 LANDO BEING THE SUPPORTIVE OLDER BROTHER FIGURE MY HEARTTTTT

username106 i just know damn well carlos is on the verge of tears

username107 THEYRE SO GORGEOUS I CANT

username108 my parents 🙏🙏

username109 PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIP FRRRR

lamineyamal congratulations!!

yourusername thank YOU for introducing us

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yourusername nvm

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marcbernal_ PAU

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paucubarsi will do whenever we meet 😊 congrats by the way!

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carlossainz55 i guess its fine if you love him. congratulations to you and marc

yourusername AWW CARLITOOO <33 THANK YOU

carlossainz55 dont push it

carlossainz55 and marcbernal_ you better treat her good and be respectful towards her or i will personally run you over with my ferrari

marcbernal_ YES SIR. i love your sister very much i wouldnt even consider doing anything bad to her even if i was held at gunpoint

carlossainz55 gun to your head. cheat on y/n or ghost her

yourusername carlos???

carlossainz shh, let him speak

marcbernal_ pull the trigger

carlossainz55 he passed! you picked a good one y/n

username115 if my future bf isnt like marc i dont want him

username116 carlos being an overprotective brother is so cute my heart cant take this shit

username117 WHAT QUESTION IS CARLOS ASKING HELP???

username118 marc is creative i wouldnt have thought of that

username119 carlos has creative threats ngl

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marcbernal_ i love you so much, mi cielo

yourusername i love you more, my barcelona boy

marcbernal_ love you more than anything, my madrid girl

yourusername 🫶❤

marcbernal_ ❤❤

marcbernal_

liked by yourusername, lamineyamal, carlossainz55 and 883K others

marcbernal_ mi cielo, i love you more than words can say. you’re my light, my peace, and everything that makes my heart feel complete Tagged: yourusername

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yourusername mi amor, you have no idea how much that means to me, or how much YOU mean to me. you’re my everything, my safe place, and the one who makes my world brighter every day

marcbernal_ ❤❤

yourusername 🫶

username121 STOPP MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS

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username124 IKR???

username125 THEY HAVE NO RIGHT BEING THIS CUTE

username126 the kiss after the match omg i died watching it

username127 i feel like im intruding or something

username128 my mother and father

username129 OUR*

username130 CUTIESSS AHHH

lamineyamal cutest couple i know, wishing you all the best

marcbernal_ thank you lamine

lando_norris take care of my little sister, yeah?

marcbernal_ will do

username131 FUCK OFF LANDOS COMMENT IS MAKING ME SO EMOTIONAL

username132 this is so romantic and for what

username133 THE CAPTION

username134 y/ns reply is killing me

paucubarsi wishing you two all the best! can't wait for all the third wheeling

yourusername dont worry pau, you wont do much of it

marcbernal_ i hope he doesnt

paucubarsi thank god

username135 ISYG BAJJHSSYHSUJKKIUHBHNJWMK

username136 I JUST CAME BACK FROM SUMMER CAMP WTF??? IS THIS HOW I FIND OUT THEYRE TOEGTHER???

username137 screaming crying throwing up

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carlosainz55 take care of my baby sister, marc. i trust you with her, dont disappoint me

marcbernal_ dont worry, i wont. i love her more than anything

carlossainz55 good

username141 meow

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username144 SIGNEDDDD

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yourusername i love you forever, marc. my one and only barcelona boy.

marcbernal_ i love you to eternity, y/n. my one and only madrid girl

yourusername forever and always

marcbernal_ till the end

yourusername i love you

marcbernal_ i love you too

 taglist . . . @barcapix ,, @f1lover55 ,, @ilovebarcaaa ,, @notm4d1 ,, @httpsdana ,, @paucubarsisimp ,, @bernalswifeyy ,, @nngkay ,, @justaf1girl (lmk if you want to join the taglist!)

[engstlersbueckers]

Diana Taurasi NSFW HC’s

WARNING⚠️: THIS IS PURE SMUT. MEN AND MINORS FUCK OFF. (but everyone else enjoy😘)

A/N: she’s been my guilty pleasure wnba crush since i was like 15 I was shocked to see i got requests for her (yall are freaks like me🌚) lemme do her some justice 😩🩷

Age dont mean shit to her,she can still beat it up like she’s in her 20’s.

She’s a little bit of a bully in the bedroom too…

She loves to pick at you,it’s harmless but she likes getting under your skin.

“Tappin’ out on me already? Come onn you’re younger than me and can’t even take two rounds? Im barely breathin’ heavy.You gotta keep up,princess.

She’s a slapper. Your ass,thighs,pussy,face,it’s not off limits. Especially if you’re acting bratty..oou god help you.

“I asked you a question. Speak up.” Then she slaps you across the face.

“You like this huh? You like getting slapped,baby?Gimme that pretty face…”

loves loves LOVES missionary,she loves looking in your eyes when she’s deep in you…she can work that strap like its her own dick.

She puts your legs over her shoulders and angles her hips just right,drilling soo deep into your pussy,locking eyes with you,watching your face twist in pure bliss.

“Yeahhh feels good doesn’t it? You love it when I dig you out dont you?

“That’s all me,baby. All in those guts..”

She has one of those lovense toys that she can control from her phone even when she’s gone. She loves playing with it when she’s on the road knowing what it does to you. Even when you’re out on a date,she loves messing with it. Watching you stagger and try to keep it together.

“Woah careful,baby. Dont fall over.” She laughs knowing damn well why you’re tripping over nothing.

Strapwarminggggg

If you’re sitting in the living room watching tv she likes to sit you in her lap and do it.Watching you sink down on her strap and occasionally moving around a little on purpose just to get a reaction out of you. Sometimes she just blatantly bucks her hips up into you,she gets a kick out of the sounds you make and how tightly you hold onto her when she does it.

What’s the matter,baby? Cant get comfortable? lemme help.

A/N: this was sooo much fun to write. if you have any other requests lmk. ill catch you lovely’s later🩷

-S💋

[daryltwdixon]

hello dear!! i dont know if your are still taking requests or not, but if do you i would really love to see you write something fluff with a drunk daryl and reader, where he totally forgot that they are dating and just start acting shy and awkward around her, i know its cliche but i really love how you write daryl and think it would be so cute to see something like that written by you😭, but i totally understand if you are busy, i hope you are having a great day!🥰

A drunk Daryl grows uncharacteristically shy around you, forgetting for a moment that you're together.

author notes: I just want to say its not v common for people who are drinking to forget who their s/o's are, but anything for you lolol, enjoy!!! x

thank you for the love!!!

The Alexandria dinner party is louder than usual, laughter spilling out into the quiet night. Someone had insisted on opening the last few bottles of wine, and you watch with amusement as Daryl, leaning against the far wall, swirls the red liquid in his glass like it’s some kind of trap.

“Never took you for a wine guy,” you tease, stepping closer. His eyes dart to yours, and the flush on his face deepens. You figure the alcohol’s working its magic, though Daryl had always been shy about these kinds of things—especially in a crowd.

“Don’t even taste right,” he mutters, setting the glass on a nearby table like it might bite him.

You grin. “Then why drink it?”

He shrugs, glancing at you sideways. The usual ease between you feels a little... off. His gaze flicks to your face, then away again, like he’s avoiding something. You tilt your head, trying to figure out what’s wrong, when his voice breaks the quiet.

“You look real nice tonight.”

The words come out low and shy, almost like he hadn’t meant to say them. You blink, surprised, but before you can respond, he fumbles to add, “Not that ya don’t always, but... I mean, yeah.”

“Daryl,” you say, trying to catch his eye. He’s looking anywhere but at you now, cheeks burning. “Are you okay?”

“‘M fine,” he grumbles, crossing his arms. But the way he shifts on his feet, the nervous way he rubs the back of his neck—it’s not like him. You step closer, studying him, until something clicks.

“Oh my god.” You can’t stop the laugh that bubbles up. “You don’t remember, do you?”

His brows furrow, lips parting in confusion. “Remember what?”

You can’t believe it. “You’re acting like we just met or something.”

Daryl stares at you, his eyes swimming with haze, but he blinks hard, trying to piece it all together. His eyes widen slightly. “Wait... we’re—?”

“Yes, Daryl,” you say, trying to suppress another laugh. “We’re together, at least I thought so,”

The realization hits him like a brick wall. His mouth opens, then closes, and for a second he just stares at you, dumbfounded. “Shit,” he mutters, rubbing a hand over his face. “I—uh... forgot.”

“Obviously,” you tease, stepping even closer until you’re standing right in front of him. “Should I be worried you’re forgetting about me already?”

“Nah,” he says quickly, his voice quiet but insistent. “Just... too much wine. ‘S all.”

You bite your lip, trying not to smile too wide at how bashful he looks. The Daryl you know is rarely this unguarded, and it’s endearing. But as you watch him glance down at you—his face still flushed and his nerves practically visible—you catch something softer in his expression. His hand drifts to the back of his neck again, but this time, a crooked grin follows.

“You’re... somethin’ else,” he murmurs under his breath, almost to himself. “Must be the luckiest som' bitch,”

The words catch you off guard, and warmth blooms in your chest. “Damn right you are,” you say softly, but there’s no teasing in your tone anymore.

His lips twitch, and he finally dares to meet your gaze. “Guess I don’t mind that.”

You smirk, leaning up to press a quick kiss to his cheek. The move makes him freeze for half a second before his face turns a deeper shade of red, but his hand brushes yours in a subtle, almost instinctive gesture. Even drunk, even shy, Daryl Dixon couldn’t hide how much he cared.

“C’mon,” you say, tugging lightly at his hand. “Let’s get you some water before you forget anything else."

[daisymbin]

the unplanned date - kim mingyu

warnings: suggestive but not really! just light mentions of past sexual events but thats all. slight use of profanities

pairings: kim mingyu x reader

genre: situationship to lovers lmaooo

wc: 2.8k

a/n: 1. fuck taeil

2. this was originally written for jeonghan but i felt it fitted mingyu better

3. please this took fucking forever because I kept getting writers block and hated the flow but I think I'm satisfied with it now

check out my masterlist!

"what? she's cheating on me?” mingyu asked in disbelief. “and what do you mean she's not my girlfriend?” mingyu angrily questioned jun with a slightly raised voice; his forehead and eyebrows scrunched in anger and confusion. “what the hell are you talking about? since when in the world did the two of you date? in another alternate universe??? all she did was go out on one date!” jun countered as he walks to the kitchen to retrieve a glass of water. at that, mingyu left their shared apartment, heading straight to yours; needing answers.

you jump when you hear your doorbell ring, “were you expecting someone?” your roommate seungcheol asked as you both exchange glances while he notes the time, it's 3:07am. “no?” you said as you got up from the sofa where you had been lounging on with seungcheol, binge watching the entire high school musical series but seungcheol stopped you, “wait, i'll get it. its late, it could be some creepy old man.” seungcheol rushed to open the door while you followed close by behind him. as soon as he opened the door, you were both met with a messy, disheveled hair kim mingyu. he’s panting so much that for a second, he looks like he might actually pass out. “mingyu? what are you doing here at this hour?” seungcheol asked as he opened the door wider for him to enter. “did you run here???” you asked. “yes but thats not the point right now,” mingyu pauses to catch his breath, “did you go out on a date with jun's classmate? are you cheating on me?”

seungcheol's brows slightly furrowed at mingyu's words, “woah calm down. why dont you come in first?” he asked as he tugged on mingyu's sleeves, ushering him in. “alright, im gonna be in my room to give you two some….privacy. no funny business please, its 3am and I could use some sleep.”

mingyu inpatiently waited for seungcheol to retreat to his room before he sprung his question yet again onto you. “so??? are you not going to answer me??” it was clear that mingyu is frustrated as he laid his clenched fist on the kitchen counter. “what the fuck are you talking about? cheating on you? we're not even together!” you countered back as your forehead and eyebrows scrunched in confusion & slight anger matching mingyu's. “I'm asking you why the hell I just heard from jun that you went on a date with that new guy boy from his biology class?” mingyu knew he was being slightly petty but still, how could you? you watched as he slowly unclench his fists only to grip at the corners of the kitchen counter. “like i said, you and i? we're not together mingyu. I'm free to date whoever I want, isn't it? that was the rule you set, is it not?” you asked in anger.

“what do you mean we're not together?” mingyu paused before he continued. his question was laced with confusion and a hint of heartbreak but of course, he tried to mask it with even more frustration. “we hold on hands all the damn time y/n! we spend time together, A LOT of time together might i add, we stay over at each other's place, we nap together, we sleep together, we cuddle, we hug, we kiss, you play with my hair all the time and i do too! i mean, for god's sake, we fuck each other! what do you mean we're not together?”

“so what, mingyu?’’ your own voice and tone took you aback for a second, the words came out harsher than you would have liked but you dont falter. “weren’t you the one who said you didn't want anything serious to begin with? weren't you the one who said that we’re only keeping things casual and nothing more? so why are you here at my apartment at ass o'clock screaming at me about cheating on you?” you had made sure to put out air quotes for those last 3 words.

this time, there was a clear dip in mingyu's voice, softer, more tender, more vulnerable. “well…yes but that was before.. that was when we were still… I don't know, fucking around but now we're definitely not! the things we do are definitely not just… fucking around things! you know what I mean! why are you making this so hard!” mingyu was exasperated, that much was clear. you watch as he now has his arms folded and his pout coming to light, making your heart clench at the sight. “gyu...” you said as you let out a small sigh, mingyu perked up at his nickname, his gaze shifting to you. “I'm not trying to make anything hard and you know that. how was i supposed to know anything? how was i supposed to know what you want if you don't tell me?”

“I thought you'd know by now…i-i thought it was obvious by now…I thought we both…”

“you thought we both what mingyu? you can't just keep all these thoughts to yourself without telling me and expect me to know anything because trust me, I don't! I don't know how you feel about me, I don't know if any of this is as serious for you as it is for me, god, I don't know what your intentions are! all I know from you is that this is all just casual and nothing more! and you know what's the worst part of it all? it's that I can't even ask you about it because then I'm gonna come off as clingy and needy and it's pathetic to even imagine presenting myself that way to you!” your lips were now pressed together in a thin line; an overwhelming feeling of shame and embarrassment taking over you, forcing you to look away from him to avoid eye contact and you start to feel your eyes prick you with tears threatening to spill.

“you know I'd never think that of you... i just…I'm not good with words. I don't know how to tell you what I want or how I feel about you. I just get so tongue tied when it comes to you. I really thought that maybe if I lo-” mingyu all but stopped himself with a deep sigh, unable to voice out his hidden feelings for you. he took a few seconds to find a replacement for that word before he took another deep breath & continued, “I really thought that maybe if I just… let things be and let my feelings act on their own that maybe you'd pick up on it and we would just…” he ended with a sigh that was barely audible. you would have missed it if you weren't all focused on him.

his voice trailing off and quivering only forced you to quickly blink your tears away to look back at him; the sight of his shoulders slumped and his head looking down, not meeting your eyes only broke your heart even more. is it possible for your heart to feel so heavy and sad, yet filled with so much hope? because that's definitely how you're feeling right now.

regardless of how much you think you know what mingyu is trying to say, you still wanted him to say it, you still wanted to hear it from him. this friends with benefits situationship thing has been going on long enough for a year & a half now & that doesnt include the years before when you were both friends. everyone knows you're both kind of a thing yet not really. no matter how much the boys pushed for mingyu to make it official, mingyu always brushed them off and said that he didn't have to, that you already know what you both had, but in this moment, it dawned on him that what he thought he had with you isn't what you thought you had with him. all the self loathe and heartbreak he's feeling right now couldn't have made him feel more stupid than he already was.

“gyu can you- can you try? can you try telling me? Just… take your time, im here, im listening, I have all the time in the world for you, just try baby. I just want to know how you really feel, I just want to know what you want for yourself and for us.” your hands reached out for his with a mind of its own.

looking down at your joined hands, mingyu starts moving his thumb mindlessly at the back of your hand, caressing them gently. it's now that he realizes how utterly stupid he has been. “baby i-” yours eyes follow his hands as they now draw circles on yours as you gave him a light squeeze of encouragement. “go on gyu, im listening.”

“I don't know how to do this. I know I said I didn't want anything serious at the start of it and that it's just casual but… but that was before you- do you remember our first date?” mingyu gathers all the courage he could find in himself and cautiously brings his eyes to yours. “what date?” you didn't want to sound rude or cold but as far as you could remember, you've never had any dates with mingyu. your relationship with him started off as just being friends for years, evolving into a friends with benefits situation which was strictly only physical needs late at night, outside of that, you were nothing more, well, at least for the first few months that is. until….unless..? was he talking about the first time you both hung out together alone without the boys outside of the bedroom and while the sun is still out? “do you mean…the flea market?” you asked as realization dawned on you; that was the day your friends with benefits relationship evolved into something that was like a relationship but not really, the cursed situationship type of thing.

mingyu chuckles as he realizes how sentimental he looks right now, although, he's not sure if you can tell. his shy smile and fangs peeking through as he watches the gears in your head turn. “well..what about that day mingyu?” truth be told, you remember that day clear as day, but you can't pinpoint exactly what mingyu is trying to say; there wasn't really anything…special or anything that stood out that day, well, other than the fact that you were both out and not in bed that is.

“that was the first time we hung out together alone after we started the whole friends with benefits thing. do you remember? that night before that, when we broke our first rule of not sleeping over?” a quiet mhm was all you could let out, unsure of where mingyu is going with this. “do you even remember why I called you over that night?”

“you were sad. your hamster….he passed away.” you said carefully. “mhm he did. and that evening, that night, it was the first time you came over and we didn't…we didn't do anything. you held me, comforted me and let me wet your t-shirt with my tears. you insisted on putting me to bed and cuddling me to sleep for the first time and told me that you'd leave after I've fallen asleep. I still remember your slight hesitation that night when I'd asked you to stay over and not leave. did you know? i felt my heart sank a little when you hesitated but that was just the first of many realization that i- that i was in love with you.” your heart fluttered at his admission, “the first of many? were there more?”

for the first time tonight, mingyu let out a laugh, the one you loved so much. “of course there's more. when we woke up the next morning, my head was pounding so bad from all the crying the night before and I was so sad when I woke up alone in bed because I thought you had left but it was almost as if you had some psychic power and knew I was awake, you were screaming from the kitchen saying you know I was awake and asked me to get my ass over to the kitchen!” mingyu laughed harder this time, his hand coming up to tuck a stray hair behind your ear. “that was because I had just came back from the bakery! my hands were full so I accidentally let the door slam a little and I was sure that that would have woken you up!” you giggled while trying to defend yourself.

“you even got me my favourite cake from the bakery and all my other favourite pastries for breakfast. you must have been so in love with me ~" mingyu joked while raising his eyebrows suspiciously at you and you all but fall silent. you cleared your throat before you teased him back, “so? that's why you like me? because I cuddled you to sleep and bought you food? how easy can you be kim mingyu!”

“no that's not why! although i'll admit, it did click something in me. made me realise how well you know me and how well you take care of me. but that wasn't it! it was when you suggested we go to the flea market after breakfast just to take a walk to clear my mind for a bit. do you remember what happened there?”

“we walked and talked about silly things as always, what else? ah, you tried tanghulu for the first time! I remember that.” you recall giddily at how his eyes widened brightly at the sweetness of tanghulu when he took his first bite. “not that, silly! we ran into your ex & I had told him that i was your boyfriend and asked him to back off, do you know why I did that?” “because you pity me?” you joked, you know mingyu would never pity you, he's not a bad person but you couldn't pass up an opportunity to tease him. mingyu sighed dramatically at that, “no, I said I was your boyfriend because I saw the way he was looking at you…and it made me jealous. it made me realise that, that's the way I always look at you. it made me realise that I don't ever want anyone else to look at you that way and that I want you to look at me that way. me and only me. i-i realised that it's not just sex I want with you. that's why after that day, I kept bringing us out for dinner and stuff. or even just to hang out at home and watch stupid romcoms just to spend time with you. so I thought that, when our relationship from simply friends with benefits isn't friends with benefits anymore that you'd get it i guess…i don't know…saying it out loud right now sounds so stupid… I probably should have said something earlier… I'm sorry.” mingyu had his eyes on his hands again, guilt and embarrassment washing over him.

"thank you, gyu-ah. I really needed to hear all of that from you.” you lifted your hand to rest your palm on his cheeks, guiding his eyes back to you. “does that mean you like me too?” silly silly kim mingyu you thought. “no of course not!” you joked a failed joke because it seems kim mingyu didn't get the joke when he let out a quiet oh. “you're so silly kim mingyu. can't you tell im in love with you by now? how much more obvious can a girl get?” mingyu ears perked up at your words, then, smiling so big his jaws almost hurt. his hands turn to pull you by your wrists, placing them around his waist as he pulled you into a hug. your hands move up to rest on his neck and the other in his hair, tugging them lightly at the scalp. “I love you, I'll do better for you.” he spoke so close to your ear his lips almost brush them. “I love you too, thank you, I'll do better for you too.” your words only caused mingyu to tighten his hold on you, “can we go to bed now? I'm so tired and I want to sleep with my girlfriend.” he whined pouting. “yes we can, boyfriend.” you answered with a smile as you start dragging your big puppy into your bedroom, excited for more cuddles to come.