#god damn idk how tags work on tumblr

[citroncynique]

i realise i didnt post my check up event banner redraw here!! I'm looking forward to that event!!

[didsomeonesayventus]

lord the way i can write in circles about Alear and the visceral experience of [redacted]

(or, the wordbarf of “I am very unhinged about Alear how dare you assume im normal” ft. copious spoilers for like. chp 21 onward because I need tumblr to know I’ve already said most of this on twitter to some extent)

he finally got to experience love and how he finally started recovering from his trauma and how he was at his desperate, frantic wit’s end probably when he first struck sombron down how he probably felt cornered and would rather risk his life and everything else to simply be free of his father how he went in without an emblem and all alone and likely not telling Lumera the full plan probably terrified if he would come out alive 1v1-ing sombron with nothing but fuck it he would rather fight for a chance to live in peace than wait for his dad to find out how “defective” he is and dispose of him like so many siblings and lumera was probably going to stop him because it’s crazy it’s stupid it’s risky it’s not worth it she loves him and promises one day it will end don’t be rash and please hold on but!!!!!! god damn does someone have to try and he is tired of waiting for the chance to get better he cannot fucking take it anymore!!!!! he can’t sit there and wait and worry and be strong he has a sister out there who is at risk every second they carry on their little hidden charade! 

How PAINFUL it is to finally receive kindness and be forced to realize all these scars and all these days spent walking on eggshells is for NOTHING for even what had been kindness before pales in comparison how WOUNDED to realize how damaged you are simply trying to survive and how unfair it all must feel when kindness and love was simply that easy to choose and yet knowing your father would never, EVER be kind.

and contrary to having a gentle and honorable nature that only carried out sombron’s will to survive, coerced into such violence and desolation, the nature that is stilted and a thoughtless machine so he, too, does not join the ranks of failure, the nature that the hero king himself recalls as “You were kind, as you are now.”, despite that gentle, gentle core that somehow survived he has such malice for his father there is no mercy there is no kindness dare I say he- with only a little conflict and concern -relishes the opportunity to personally do his father in because after years of abuse and trauma there is finally catharsis and it pours from him like he is finally vomiting and coughing up the vile dregs of the poison in his system

finally hope that is so disgustingly blinding right in front of him and how he was SO CLOSE he was SO CLOSE to walking away from this he was sick and giddy and the thought that he was going to get away and be free and live happily with his mother and go find veyle and be SAFE and HAPPY FOR ONCE IN HIS LIFE and then ITS JUST. TAKEN. IN A SINGLE MOMENT.

how even saying himself the war is over and they don’t have to worry still accepting that he’s a Fell Dragon this is just WHAT HAPPENS as if he is not sitting there dying, struggling to breathe, having just ended a war that nearly wiped out the Divine Dragons, no doubt caused terror across the land, HAVING DONE A GENUINELY OBJECTIVELY GOOD THING THAT HE HIMSELF RECOGNIZED and still saying that Fell Dragons die in the end. how he is no better than the father laying only feet away who treated his children like tools and only spoke his name once when he was born. Lumera says he’ll just sleep and he’ll wake up and it will be fine and how he so subtly doubts that and still speaks as if this is his last chance, simply speculating how, if he does wake up, he wants to be like her AS IF HE ISN’T ALREADY FOR. YOU KNOW. ENDING THE WAR AND SLAYING THE PROBLEM DRAGON.

the way i pull at my hair and scream at the top of my lungs over how AWFUL alear had it and how VINDICATING it is to see him grow and love and rage and scream and cry and find his own way anD KILL HIS OWN SHITTY DAD WITH A LASERBEAM OF LOVE AND ALL THE FRIENDS HE’S MADE AND GETS TO BE DRAGON JESUS HAPPILY EVER AFTER

[dandyshucks]

going to cry because i am worried i won't finish all the crochet gifts in time :''")

[hiiikiko]

hi hi hi

can you do brothers bff!ellie x reader? maybe they met as children and ellie was close with readers brother, but always saw r as a nuisance. until r went away to boarding school or something and came back a few years later, and ellie begins to develop a crush on her? idk i thinks this would be cute for her 🥰

𝕝𝕠𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖, 𝕟𝕠 𝕤𝕖𝕖

brother’s best friend!ellie x reader | tlou m.list

[a/n:] i love this trope so much, thank you for submitting this ask! also LMAO this went so off base but I like this too much to delete it and It’s too much work to copy and paste every god damn sentence bc tumblr makes that so fuckin’ hard but uh yeah thanks :P

Synopsis: Ellie and you had something goin on.. but it’s been years since the two of you have seen each other..

tw: angst

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

SUNDAY

Ellie was your childhood friend, uh, actually that’d be a lie.. she was your brother’s best friend.. but same difference.. I mean, your mom would force your darling big brother, Jesse, to take you everywhere with him.. like, come on, it was free babysitting and it was killing two birds with one stone. Not only was your mom getting free babysitting, she was also able to kick your reckless brother out for a few hours. So everyday for a few hours after school, your brother would drag you along to football games, lacrosse games, basketball games.. ugh, so many sports.. You didn’t always look forward to it, but.. there was one upside to them..

Ellie Williams.

Ellie was your next door neighbour. She was pretty, smart, introverted, and a troublemaker. Sure, she graduated valedictorian and was an all-star on the girl’s lacrosse and basketball and volleyball team but god, did she cause her fair share of trouble.. including, making you fall for her. Although, you were sure Ellie completely hated your guts. She always called you ‘squirt,’ given that you were much smaller than her when the two of you were kids. She would always groan when she saw you tag along with Jesse, smacking his arm and glaring back at you, silently saying ‘Why the fuck did you bring her?” To which Jesse would reply with a sly smirk and a shrug.

Now, it wasn’t your plan to fall for her.. but come on, it was inevitable. She was your brother’s best friend, that’s like the forbidden fruit in the garden of eden! How could you pass that up, hm? But, before you could ever confess to her.. you were shipped off to a catholic all girl’s school because your mom thought that these thoughts about girls weren’t very christian-like. You came back every now and then but it was easier to spend breaks at your Aunt’s house, it was closer to the school and besides, what was the point of coming back? You weren’t very popular in your hometown, you lived in your brother’s shadow. He was an all-star in practically every sport, smart, constantly made the papers for his footaball games.. so did Ellie and you never really felt like you belonged with them, or your town for that matter. In boarding school, you had no one to be compared to. You were actually quite popular, you joined quite a few clubs, even became head of the Newspaper Club and graduated valedictorian. You were doing pretty good on your own, then soon.. you were off to college.

It was the beginning of fall when you finally decided to pay your mom and brother a visit, you were on thanksgiving break.

“Alright, bye Lila! See ya, Chris!” you waved at the retreating volkswagen van belonging to your two best friends from school, rooted in the ground as you watched it disappear round a corner.

You let out a deep sigh as you tuned on your heel to face your childhood home, it felt like forever since you’d been back.. sure, you came back sometimes but.. still, it had been, like, three years. You were now a sophomore i college, you had left when you were a senior in high school.

You couldn’t help but sneak a glance at Ellie’s house, Joel’s truck was in the garage. Joel was a nice guy, he’d always fix your mom’s car for free. You and Jesse really did like him, at one point, the two of you even tried hooking your mom up with him but.. that all came crashing down when your mom found out and sentenced the two of you to yard work for the next week.

“Hey, Joel,” you say to the pair of boots under the old Chevy, drumming your fingers on the hood.

The sound of tools turning comes to a halt as the pair of boots soon slides down to reveal the person the pair of boots belonged to.. Ellie.

“Oh, sorry.. I-I thought you were Joel,” you stuttered out, Ellie’s fierce gaze piercing right through you.

“Yeah? Well, you thought wrong,” she grumbled, using her teeth to pull off her gloves and wiping some grease off her face, “Long time, no see.. what do you want?”

God, you haven’t even been home for more than five minutes and the new you was already melting away under her gaze, you felt like you were 17 again.

“Nothing, just.. wanted to say hi,” you mumble and leave her there, sitting on the sliding board.

You couldn’t see it but, you could feel her hungry gaze watching your every move as you left the driveway. You couldn’t tell if she was watching you out of curiosity or.. something else.

MONDAY

Sunday went by like a breeze, you and your mom caught up over dinner, you and Jesse caught up by not catching up.

Today, you decided to look for a part-time job. You just needed enough cash to get you a one-way ticket back outta here and you didn’t want to burden your Aunt with the costs.

After visiting a multitude of stores, you ran into Joel at the gas station. He mentioned how he was looking for a receptionist and you practically threw yourself at the opportunity.

“Alright, alright, you got the job,” he chuckled, taking a sip from his gas station coffee, letting out a satisfied hum at the taste. This man sure did love his coffee, “Can you start tomorrow?”

You beaned, “Yes, sir, I can.”

He nodded and tapped your trucks hood, “Make sure to bring this ol’ boy by, I promised your mom a free oil change in exchange for her cookin’ me a few dishes a month.”

You giggled, “Will do.”

TUESDAY

“Hey, I’m here for the job,” you said to the guy at the front desk, a older gentleman, he reeked of weed, his eyes glazed over.

“Uh, okay, let me get the other manager.”

You nodded, leaving the desk to look around the old shop, it smelled of gasoline, leaving a metallic taste in your mouth.

“You gotta be fuckin’ kidding me.”

Your blood ran cold as you realized who that low, raspy voice belonged to, “Mornin’ to you, too, Ellie.”

She rolled her eyes, leaning against the desk and tucking her pen behind her ear, “You’re the new girl?”

You nod, trying not to let your smile falter, “Yep, that’s me.”

She rolled her eyes again, “Alright, follow me.”

You jog to keep up with her while she introduces you to all the mechanics, turns out the mechanic you met earlier is named Eugene. They were all happy to see a fresh new face, some even asking if that car out front was yours and if anythin’ were to go wrong, that you knew where to find them, much to Ellie’s annoyance.

“Well, that’s all? Any questions?” and before you could say yes, she slammed her office door closed.

“Same as always, I see,” you mumbled and set yourself down at the desk, familiarizing yourself with the outdated equipment. You didn’t like how close your desk was to her office, it was suffocating.

FRIDAY

By Friday, you had completely reorganized their computer systems to be a little more efficient and their files as well. Ellie didn’t say good job or anything, she just nodded and criticized every little mistake you made. Joel, on the other had, would knock her upside the head every time he caught her saying something a little too mean, then would apologize for his daughter’s behaviour and shower you with compliments.

Besides Ellie’s annoying remarks, work was actually going pretty smoothly.

You were finishing up some paperwork when you heard the door to the garage swing open, she had on her overalls and was covered in grease and oil, just like the first day when you came back.

“Y/n, pull your truck in, Joel wants me to change the oil or whatever she grumbled, wiping her cheek, trying to rid it of the grease but actually, she just made it worse. You couldn’t stop your heart from fluttering at the sight.. there’s just something about a woman covered in car oil that does it for you..

You nod, “Alright.”

You spent the last 40 minutes talking on the phone with your old schoolmates, laughing about how they got back home.

“Sooo.. Y/n, have you heard from Abby?” your friend, Lila, giggled as she was pushed out of frame by her sister, Chris.

You groan and lean back into your chair, “God, no. I haven’t heard from her since that night,” you rub your face with your hand, trying to conceal the embarrassment.

The two girls on the other end giggled and begin to fangirl over Abby.

“Ugh, I don’t know why you don’t want her anymore!” Lila began.

“She was totally perfect, like.. you landed a lacrosse player.. that’s every girl’s dream-“ “ Not to mention how muscular she was? LIke, uh, drool??”

You rolled your eyes, “Okay, I admit she was perfect—.”

The garage door slams and in comes Ellie, looking especially pissed off, “Can you shut the fuck up? It’s hard to work when you’re being so god damn loud.”

She wandered into frame, you could practically read what Lila and Chris were thinking, their eyes screamed ‘do me.’

You rolled your eyes and hung up your phone, “Fuck, Ellie. You’re such a fuckin’ killjoy.”

Ellie laughed, walking over to your desk, spinning around your chair, putting her arms on either side of the arm rests, “You’re such a pain in the ass,” and for a split second, you could swear her eyes flickered down to your lips.

SATURDAY

Saturday night, Dina invited you out with her and Jesse to the local bar. Country music blasted through the speakers and the sound of beer bottles thinking set the tone along with the cheap cigarette smoke.

“Thank god they don’t card, huh,” Dina smirked at you, you laughed. Jesse rushed off to the bar to get the three of you some beers.

The two of them watched you slam down your first beer, a little too fast for them to know it was your first.

“What? Boarding School isn’t as strict if you know how to get around the rules and alarms,” you giggled.

You soon had enough liquid courage in you to make your way onto the dance floor, swinging your way into the arms of guys and girls, alike.

“Uh.. testing.. 1…2..3,” the crowd came to a sudden halt, you followed their gaze. You saw Ellie on stage, a young mechanic you knew, and a guy you didn’t know too well stood behind her. She held her hand up above her eyes to shield them from the harsh stage light. She looked.. well, hot.. she wore some wranglers, steel-toed cowboy boots, and a nice black long sleeve button up, her brown cowboy hat rested atop her head, bringing out the green in her eyes, “Well, tonight, we got some new songs for y’all.”

Her set was pretty amazing, the crown obviously loved her and her voice was very, very good.

“Alright, before we call it a night, we got one more song.. we’ll be covering I Wonder Do You Think of Me,” you couldn’t really tell but you were sure she was staring directly at you, but that was ridiculous, you were sure she couldn’t see anything through that blaring light.

She started, “If you drive around, back in our old hometown.. I wonder, do you think of me?” her voice sounded full of hurt, almost like it was breaking.

The dance floor was full of cowboys and cowgirls moving their bodies in since, in beautiful, melancholic slow dance.

“And remember those games, those cold football games.. I was your hero, though I seldom played, back then.. could you see, what our future would be?”

Now you were certain, she had to be singing this song for you, everything her eyes dipped back underneath her cowboy hat, you could see her emerald eyes piercing into your soul.

“Fuck this,” you grumbled and grabbed your purse, you were not going to do this again.

“I still love you, do you think of me?”

The wooden door slammed behind you and you could hear the cheers of the audience erupt.

“Y/n, wait,” a hoarse voice came bounding toward you.

“God! What? What the fuck do you want Ellie?”

You whipped around, Ellie’s face was only inches from yours.

“I-I wanted to apologize.. for, for everythin’. It wasn’t right to leave you like that.. and it wasn’t right to say all I did. “

The months leading up to your departure, you and Ellie had been sneaking around. “I love you,” she had whispered in your ear, the night of her winning the lacrosse state championship, her mouth nestled against your ear and her hands in your pants and like an idiot, you believed her. You believed her despite her not wanting to go on dates, hang out together in public school, and through the rumours of her being a player. Then, the night before you left for school, she snuck into your room and confessed; “I never loved you, Y/n.. you were just a means to an end, another girl on my roster.”

Those words were ingrained in your memory, the next day when you left for school, your eyes were puffy and that following year, you tried everything to get over her. Then that year became two years, following you into college. You drank, smoked, hooked up with random girls but none of them were her, not even Abby Anderson.

“I’m not doing this again,” you ripped your hand out from her grasp.

“Fuck, would you just listen to me?” she trapped your other hand and pulled it to her chest, “I never meant all that bullshit, don’t ya see? I’ve only ever liked you, Y/n…” her eyes looked sincere.

“Fuck you, you’re so full of yourself.”

“God, you’re sop fuckin stubborn. Don’t believe me? I sent you a letter every god damn day after you left, I had given them to your mom, it wasn’t until recently that Jesse had told me she never mailed them out.”

This whole time, you assumed that she had really meant it all and the no reaching out thing, really drove the nail deeper..

You stopped, “What?”

“You gotta believe me,” her breath smelled like whiskey and cigarettes.

You stared into her eyes, you heart melted, “F-fine..”

She smiled and pulled you even closer, her hand wrapping around your waist and she placed a soft kiss on your lips. You really were a fool, weren’t ya?”

[illarian-rambling]

@davycoquette with the fun question games again!

Get to Know the Writblr

Gonna put this under a cut because it got long, but feel free to treat this as an open tag if you want to hop on!

On the Tumblr Writing Community:

How long have you had your writing Tumblr/Writeblr?

Since the beginning of the year, maybe? Sometime in February, I think.

What led you to create it?

I was feeling pretty lonely having no one to talk to about my writing. None of my real-life friends are writers and I'm really terrible at expressing my interests verbally, so I figured online might be the place to go. So far, I've been right!

What’s your favorite thing about the Writeblr community?

Oh, the people, for sure. It's incredibly rare that I come across anyone being less than supportive on here. No matter our skill level, I really feel like every writer on here has a sense of being in this shit together.

What’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

Hmmm.... I'm pretty open about sharing things about myself, so idk if there's anything major I haven't touched on yet. I wake up at 4am every morning for work, so if you see me posting at an egregious time, that's why. Also, if you ever want martial arts tips for your fight scenes, I'm your gal!

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

I love it when people make memes of their ocs. Makes me giggle every time.

What tips/advice do you have for someone who made a Writeblr today?

You gotta interact with people. I know it can be scary, but even a reblog with no tags can make another writer smile. Chances also are, if you leave a nice comment on someone's work, they might check you out and leave a nice comment on yours! A community isn't a community unless you go out and commune :)

WIP it Good:

Which Works-in-Progress (WIPs) or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

Lately, I've been juggling writing my first draft of Mortal God book 3 (tentatively title being The Machinations of Machine and Man) and going over @kaylinalexanderbooks lovely comments on MG1. My ghost ship project is also on a low simmer in the back of my brain, but I'm trying to leave that until I'm done with MG3.

How long have you been working on them?

Good lord, I started MG1 about... almost two years ago now? Damn, it feels like it's been so much longer. But hey, three book drafts in two years ain't bad! Honor's Outcasts, which is largely written by now, I started about three years ago.

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

The two main characters of MG started as a vague daydream, which then became two important dnd npcs along with MG's main villain. I ended up liking them all so much that I wrote a short story which became *drumroll* three entire books! A lot of my inspiration came from Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood and the Foundryside Trilogy of books. I can't think of anyone specifically who inspired the characters, except that Astra was originally based on the archetype of the silent wandering cowboy/samurai as seen in a lot of Kurosawa films and old westerns. For anyone familiar with her, uh, things changed quite a lot.

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

At least ten percent of my brain's storage is dedicated to my wips at all times. As for how often I'm actively thinking about them... it's also quite a lot.

When someone asks the dreaded, “What do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

"Uh, fantasy stuff?" is my go-to.

What do you want to say (if it’s different from what you do say)?

I really wish I had the ability to explain my wips as succinctly with speech as I do with writing, but alas. I would want to give a nice, book jacket blurb that doesn't give away too much of the crazy shit.

Let’s Rotate Blorbos:

Name any characters you created.

I think I'm really good at names, so we're gonna go down the list!

Izjik Meautammera

Sepo Kaiacynthus

Twenari Undetasib/Devaris

Djek Kagura

Astra DuClaire

Mashal Darezsho

Ivander Montane

Elsind Cavernsight

Duchon Avymere Kalaphon Spearsong III

Faalgun Falani

Nyda Burningrock

Kaulakri Ondohuroata

Pashananath

Anarac Fifth-Blood

Who’s the most unhinged?

Unhinged in terms of violence? Sepo for sure. Unhindered in terms of sheer chaos? I'm gonna go with Izjik and Djek as a duo. Between both of their high charismas and low intelligences, along with their combined expertise in fighting and creative uses of magic, they're unbeatable.

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

Probably Izjik. I've been writing in her POV for the longest.

Do you ever cringe at them?

Sometimes yeah, when they do something real stupid. But, then again, I did make them that way.

How much control do you feel you have over your characters?

I think I know my characters really well and base my plot around their motives, so there really isn't a huge need for control.

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters?

PLEASE!!! FEED ME ASKS! I'LL TAKE ANYTHING!

On Writeblr Engagement:

What makes you want to follow another Writeblr account?

Probably creativity. I've read a looooot of fantasy/sci-fi, so if you're doing something I've never seen before, I'll probably give you a follow.

What makes you decide against following?

Any kind of hateful rhetoric or someone who doesn't want 18+ interaction. Other than that, I think it's important to follow people who write different genres or have different methods than me.

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

I wouldn't say so. I get a little shy doing that.

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

The characters of @kaylinalexanderbooks @mk-writes-stuff and @somethingclevermahogony all have a little place in my brain. Favorites from each include Robbie and Akash (not to be separated), Narul and Bop (love me a good living weapon/teddybear of a dude team-up), and Nellie and Stellaris (their earnest kindness makes my heart happy). If you haven't yet, you should go check out their stuff and see for yourself!

And with that, thanks for reading! Go out and have yourself a bitchin day <3

[chaotic-orphan]

I found your blog today AND I spent like the whole day just reading your work.

I ended up spending ALLL My afternoon and evening reading the Intoxicating Fear up to the latest chapter and oh my GOD did you deliver. Kit is a fucking charmer of an asshole. LIKE HOW AM I CHARMED BY THIS SADISTIC MF???👁���👁️

😭 Your writing is just so good.

Haven't had anything make me feel so strongly for a while.

👉👈Your replies were restricted though, i would love to be added to the updates list if that's possible.

I kept seeing your name flash while up in my notifs during the day and am so happy my writing made you feel so strongly!!!🥹 thank you for telling me, and reaching out to tell me my damn replies were blocked [[idk how many years I have been on this app and still I am learning new things]] but i fixed it now so thank you again!!! And of course I will add you to the tag list!!!! Thank you for reading, I’m so happy you enjoyed it <3 ((I am smiling wide rn)) but unfortunately I cannot answer why Ambrose is so charming, I secretly think he’s just compelled us all into loving him? And thinking he’s cool?

Although, I have a little question if you’re up to answering??

Now, full disclosure, I am putting you on the spot but there is an opt out option if you don’t want to answer, and the opt out option is this emoji: “😌” [so mysterious, so demure, so mindful]

BUT MY QUESTION IS — because it’s been a hot topic in the last day or so — Kit and Ambrose, did you feel any gay subtext between ‘em? Are you waiting for Ambrose to run in, save the day, swoop Kit in his arms and kiss him? I was only yesterday (?) made aware that this is a common enough thing from people who read the series and fresh eyes would be wonderful on the topic

@jesterrinobutter idk if tumblr tags people when their ask is answered so JUST IN CASE :)

[oh-my-may]

Hey there

Hi, this is my reintroduction to tumblr (kinda).

I go by May on the internet, it's some weird nickname I made of my real name and goes back to my first gamer tag on minecraft...

I'm currently 22 years of age, which sometimes makes me feel incredibly old on the internet? At the same time I seem to come across many other people my age who go through very similar struggles as me lol

I curretnly work fulltime as a waitress. I'm European so I get paid a proper wage there, and the work with my coworkers is very fun and comforting. I'm not always the biggest fan of other people, but being a people pleaser and having the ability to hide my true personality behind a "nice" facade makes my job possible and bearable. (jk aside, I really like my job)

Hobbies include:

reading (I always say that, but I barely ever pick up a book. Just spent most of my early teen years absolutely ramming through a shit ton of books. I still really enjoy reading, but I barely find the time to do it. My tbr list is endless)

gaming (I'll dip my toes into anything that's not an ego-shooter, my PS5 is one of my most treasured possessions)

watching movies (last year I dragges either my sister or one of my friends to the theaters at least once a month. Doesn't mean I'm a movie critic or anything, but I really like watching movies and I might just share some takes on it on here)

anime (just a select few, the most famous ones. Life's busy when you have a fulltime job and still have other hobbies, but I'm currently on my first watchthrough of One Piece! Will definitely post about this from time to time)

listening to music (realizing I have very basic hobbies bc my parents never urged me to pursue anything specific when I was a child, but anyway: I will listen to almost a bit of anything, but Taylor Swift and Ghost were amongst my most streamed artists on Spotify last year. Do with that info what you will)

writing. I did start with writing fanfiction, first harry potter, then boybands, then kpop, then anime. Most important to me was always my original idea though. I know many people have things like this. A few years ago I thought I'd actually go with trying to publish something. Now I have revised and rethought the whole thing. I barely write, but it's still in the back of my head all the damn time. I always think about writing, but doing the actual thing rn seems impossible.

As I'm writing this I realize how pathetic I feel doing this, beacuse I have this awful feeling no one is gonna respond and I'll end up regretting this so much that I'll delete it. Thank God the internet gives me the opportunity to be anonymous.

Anyway, the previously mentioned hobbies lead to my (current) interests that I'll most likely post about, so if you're into one or more of these things as well, let's chat!

in terms of games: Currently playing through Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth and generally FF7 is probably a huge hyperfixation of mine and has been for years. I've just arrived in Gongaga on my playthrough and I'm loving all of it. The game caters to all the expectations and interests I have in games. It's just so insanely beautiful and makes me tear up every couple hours idk

on this note I'd like to mention that I dipped my toes into FF14 but since I only play on Playstaion now, all the commands are overwhelming to me. I'm definitely planning on playing FF15 and FF16

Kinda cringe but I swear I'm normal: Genshin Impact. Have been playing since early 2021, once had a pretty unhealthy relationship to this game, but I was mentally not doing well during that time. Having a fulltime job changed my perspective on the game. Now I'm a casual enjoyer bc I love the open world and characters, and I love to get into the lore, so I might post a few theories and stuff on here

On that note: Honkai Star Rail. Same company, but it took me way longer to get into the game. Really enjoying it now though, although I am struggling with a bunch of battles. Save to say, I am NOT playing the game for the meta lol

One Piece! As mentioned, I started my watch of it last year in summer just before the Netflix live action came out (work bestie talked me into it). I'm quite literally at episode 500 rn. Had to stop for a while at around Thriller Bark bc the first few episodes didn't quite do it for me. Now I try to watch a few episodes before sleep everyday :)

Other anime that I am different levels of unhinged about: Jujutsu Kaisen, Attack on Titan, Bungou Stray Dogs, Demon Slayer. The basics, I know. Just don't have the time to watch a lot while other life stuff happens, you know. OP is the main thing rn, and until I am kinda up-to-date with that, everything else will have to wait lol

In terms of book stuff I must admit I keep going back to communities and fandoms I was a part of when I was a teen lol. This largely refers to stuff like Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugho, The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater and All for the Game by Nora Sakavic

Right now though I am more interested in reading some classics and other stuff. Read Britney Spears' biography last year (within the span of one day, I wanna add), currently I'm reading a chapter of Crime and Punishment once in a blue moon. I'd like to read more stuff like that in the future, but everything at it's time ig

Other fictional universes I was once quite unhinged about: Game of Thrones and Lord of the Rings. Both communities are kinda dead atm though. I'm still in the process of reading the books (which means I last picked them up over a year ago. But believe me, I'll get there, eventually.... someday)

In terms of music as I said I listen to almost anything. Not a lot of rap and techno, though. I like stuff with lyrics I can sing along to and feel deep within my bones. I wouldn't call myself a "fan" of any particular artist, I was very unhinged about musicians as a teen and I have learned my lesson. Now I just listen to the music without caring too much about the artist themselves. I used to really like 5 Seconds of Summer as a teen, then I moved to Kpop. Now I barely keep up with either but just listen to the stuff I did back then

I think that's basically it for now? The most important parts about myself. Stuff I like to talk about, so if you like some of this too, maybe come talk to me? I wanna get to know people here after all, and I have learned this is probably the best way to start.

I don't have many conditions for friends tbh. I'm 22, so anything between like 19 and 26 or so is fine as long as the vibes are good :) I don't care about genders and all that, personally going by she/her. I'm a Taurus, in case someone wants to know. Last time i took the test I was an infp-t (still think it's pretty accurate but it's been a few years nd I heard that test isn't as accurate? idk)

Other things you should maybe know is that English is not my native language, so excuse any mistakes you might come across lol. I dropped out of university. My profile picture kinda captures my most basic features.

Anyway, feel free to hit me up, I love talking to people on the internet and I really look forward to this reinvention of my account here and actually talking about my interests and reposting stuff I like :)

If you have any questions, just ask!

Until then,

May

[heroinejinx]

FANFIC APPRECIATION MEME

Post recommendations for your ten favourite fanfics and tag the authors if possible. Tell us what you like about their work.

Tag five people of your choice to do the meme too.

okay well there’s more than ten because i’m indecisive & these are all too good not to mention!!

for some sense of order, i’ve separated them by ships, and then further by if they’re canon or au, because the 2 are essentially different genres so 🤓 

i’m also not gonna expand too much on what i like about each of these because it’ll just be me waffling & saying ‘i love this ship and this person writes their dynamic so damn well’ over and over lol 

Lightcannon

~~canon-ish~~

- ‘Ill-Fortune and Illumination’ series by @questionablecuttlefish 

ft. scenes of extreme chaos and extreme tenderness, sometimes in the same chapter, always brilliant 🤌

- ‘The energy that pumps through my veins’ by @ghostofyaz

in which jinx is the ultimate masochist & lux aims to please ✨

- ‘Flashbangs and Frag Grenades’ series by @calchexxis (which there’s also a podcast on Spotify for!!🔥)

‘jinx is crazy, lux is crazier’ - a must read

~~au~~

- ‘Bright Eyes’ series by @calchexxis

college au in which jinx is a ‘tattooed punk on a motorcycle’ - need i say more? 👀

- ‘Friction Coefficient’ by @blood-lich-crow

and so they were forced to be study buddies 😙

- ‘Fight and Flight’ by @onegraycat

the closest to top gun i will ever willingly get, ft. angst and planes ✈️

Timebomb

~~canon-ish~~

- ‘My Boy Savior’ by Elssandra on AO3 (idk their tumblr)

wherein jinx’s journey to becoming a firelight is cute, dark as hell, dramatic and frequently heartbreaking - yay 🥲

Pistolwhip / CaitJinx

~~canon-ish~~

- ‘Dancing After Death’ by @prettyaveragewhiteshark

jinx and caitlyn bond over their grief & it hurts & it’s so satisfying to read 💔

- ‘Hollow bones and bird song’ series by @natsukashenby

the fic that got me into the crackship, so much angst and pining, god bless 🙏

- ‘Lithium’ series by @ravenkinnie

okay i need to re-read this asap but the angst in this knows no bounds 🖤

~~au~~

- ‘Love Sonnet aka Escort AU’ series by @ravenkinnie

this fic is so tender and their connection feels so real - idk how else to describe it other than saying just go read it right now 🥺

- ‘Lover, will you look at me now? I’m already dead to you’ by @natsukashenby

ft. caitlyn and jinx bonding a little too much at a party… gotta love the drama

Liquorbomb (Jinx x ‘Chuck’)

@unknownstellardepths has this monopolised lololol thank you for your service

~~canon-ish~~

- ‘Toy Guns with Real Bullets’

jinx turns to ‘chuck’ after killing silco and things get *complicated* ❤️‍🩹

this fleshes out thieram/chuck so so well, and the writing in this? the crafting of the fight scenes, the sex scenes, and character development? yeah, read it.

~~au~~

- ‘Scissors and Heartstrings’ 

more thieram and jinx antics - can’t get enough tbh 🫶

Honourable mentions for some non-Arcane fics I adore:

SPOP (Catradora)

~~canon-ish~~

- ‘Falling feels like flying (till the bone crush) by ehj on AO3 (idk their tumblr)

what if catra and adora started secretly fucking while still at war with each other? yeah this is that & it’s bloody great 😌

~~au~~

- ‘Break a Leg (and break the bed)’ by @dandyvela 

catradora as stunt workers who are secretly fuck buddies, minus the friendship & add on a whole lot of repressed feelings. genius 💖

- ‘Take me home’ by feistypants on AO3 (idk their tumblr)

exes running a farm together and slowly confronting the past… when i tell you i cried 😭

Killing Eve (Villaneve)

~~what everyone in the old fandom wishes could’ve been canon~~

- ‘Saving Eve’ by DontShoveTheSun on AO3 (idk their tumblr)

okay i’m not exaggerating when i say that this fic has improved my mental health lol anyone still reeling from that abysmal finale needs to read this. this whole thing is like the most comforting hug ever & idc it’s canon to *me* 🥹

tbh i’d also extend this rec to anyone who enjoys the murder wives trope in general, even if you haven’t seen the show - this fic truly delivers everything that kind of story needs. can’t praise it highly enough.

okay, this was super fun to do so i’m tagging all the authors mentioned here, plus anyone else who wants to do it! 💕

[paul-simon-juggling]

hello sorry i have no idea how tumblr works so idk were i have to write to answer your question abt the photoshoot with paul and carrie but. to answer your question, it was for the mv of rene and georgette magritte w their dog after the war!! you can find it here :) https://youtu.be/0vDAubIlYOs

Omg thank you!! I made a Rene and Georgette Magritte w/ their dog after the war joke in the tags and everything wow. Well, that explains why they look like timetravellers!!

I've never seen this music video before. I appreciate all of the visual Magritte references but damn, someone sure was excited to squeeze every available transition effect into one video and make everyone feel like they're having a stroke. (I'm sure this was very cool at the time lmao.)

Thank you so much for sharing this! /gen

I see the vision now and by God, they understood the assignment. I now appreciate this photoshoot tenfold.

[oh-cawsh]

9 people to get to know better

thanks for tagging me @ghostradiodylan !!

1. Three ships: Rylan my beloved they do no wrong. theyre the epitome of awkward bashful and honest gay summer teen romance with the perfect contrasting note of horrific life threatening monsters which is unsurpassable genre peak. and yeah ngl its pretty rare that i get behind a ship but two others i can think of are amity/luz from the owl house (but mostly in season 1 because they do cute anxious crushing stuff and after that they just kind of turn into supportive gf A and supportive gf B), and legosi/louis from beastars because how do you just gloss over neurotic homophobe slut ptsd theatre twink x weird brooding puritan loser freudian pervert and the fact that it does WORK too like hello

2. First ever ship: i wanna say gregg and angus from night in the woods?? i remember i was in that weird sexual orientation puberty where you literally know you're gay but it's not like a consciously meaningful part of your identity so i remember seeing them and thinking wow that's cool that they're boyfriends i guess idk. also i'm inexorably drawn to their existence for some reason and my lockscreen is them cuddling with the lazy morning light peeking through the curtains

3. Last song: My Kink is Karma - Chappell Roan, im a sucker for moody electronic pop and that album DELIVERS

4. Last film: i watched the first three movies in a pirates of the caribbean marathon with some friends which ngl after the first one feels like trying to suck sugar water out of a sock 😶 the last film i personally chose to watch was the 1976 Carrie! it was nice being able to watch it and appreciate it as an adult with an education and not a teen recluse going "yeah carrie you show those villain highschoolers what's what"

5. Currently (re)reading: Shakespeare's Twelfth Night! i have my old copy from highschool open next to me and the 2012 shakespeare's globe production up and i just sit and sift between watching and reading and analysing it, just like when i first learned it in class. i'm not really sure why i wanted to reread it again in the first place, but i find it kind of soothing to read older texts where the language and culture's a little ways off from its modern successors. i find it calming to kind of pull those stories back in a way we can understand with its old contexts and writing, and see more and more of that timeless human experience shine through. sudoku for english nerds i guess LOL

6. Currently watching: my watcher's stamina has actually gotten so shit im ngl like i actually haven't watched a show in months 😭😭😭 the last show i watched was bluey (which was pretty good! (and pretty indicative of the kind of attention span ive got these days 😂👌))

7. Currently consuming: this horrible like nutraloaf nightmare bowl i made because my appetite was really poor today and at 5 pm or so i was like ugh well id better eat something quick and dense if im not gonna have a proper meal so i insulted God and put together reheated smashed potato (in the microwave so they lost all their crunch and flavour) + dried roasted edamame beans + peanut butter + regular butter + cheddar + yoghurt + whole salted almonds in a bowl and had a slice of walnut fig cake as a side. that thing needed a censor bar like i was in the trenches trying to get that down im ngl. eating that meal took more energy out of me than what it gave back like i knew i made something unholy and then immediately paid for it like it was so frankenstein and his monster right there on that kitchen counter

8. Currently craving: literally anything after that like god damn 😭😭😭😭😭 otherwise ive been hankering for a good chana masala and naan combo cus there's literally never a day where i'll turn south asian cuisine down like aw man i shouldve just gone out and got some of that to eat today ugh god damn it

also im ngl i don't really know who to tag cus i only started having a presence on tumblr like barely a month ago and ive only meaningfully interacted with like 3 people since then so um!! whoever's out there lurking around on my blog if ya wanna participate feel free! and either way, thanks for readin my ramblings regardless :)

[buckysgrace]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @jozstankovich

1.how many works do you have on ao3? 18!!

2. what's your total ao3 word count? oh boy.... 1,225,652

3. what fandoms do you write for? Stranger Things and Fargo currently! Although am wanting to write more of joe and dacre's characters i just need more content hehe.

4. what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Cruel Summer, Dancing in the Dark, Friendly Competition, Midnight Hours, Just the Two (Ok maybe four) Of Us

5. do you respond to comments? why or why not? YES!!! I love responding to comments literally will talk about my work forever so beware lmao (tho it's harder for me to keep up with comments on tumblr??)

6. what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I'm really not an angsty ending person I need my happily ever afters lmao. Maybe Friendly Competition via Steve's pov (so sorry Steve)

7. what is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Cruel Summer I guess? All of them sort of have a happy ending in a round about way?? I am a softie, I have no shame.

8. do you get hate on any fics? Mhmm I don't believe I have. Although I have been called a pedo idk if that counts. Have had some comments about Kim being annoying but don't think it's hate just more so an opinion?? Honestly surprised i haven't gotten more hate about the stepcest but i see you freaks out there lol.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind? THE NASTY KIND! Haha love it being carnal and needy but also soft???

10. do you write crossovers? whats the craziest one you've written? I have never wrote one but... who knows maybe some day in the future lol. I do dream about Billy as a Targaryen prince so....

11. have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes but once I spoke to them they took it down right away :)

12. have you ever had a fic translated? Not any current fics but I do have some former 1D fics that may still be out there translated (god i hope not)

13. have you ever co-written a fic before? Oh yes with my love @sadhours one published many wips

14. what's your all-time favorite ship? Listen... Dramione is all time favorite. Also love percabeth now that percy jackson is out and reminding me of my childhood.

Ya know I also gotta throw in Kimgrove (Kim x Billy, thank you @cassandracorvo ) my babies

15. what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Oh boy where do I even begin lol. I have a few threesomes (BillyKimSteve and BillyKimTommy and BillyKimAdrian) I have a few Harringrove ones I just cannot get to. In the end I guess the one I'd want to finish is this AU where Kim is married to Tommy but can't let go of Billy hehe

16. what are your writing strengths? imma say... smut. and making realistic ocs... idk lol maybe dialogue? At least I hope so I have mini conversations with myself when I'm writing out characters talking so fingers crossed lol.

17. what are your writing weaknesses? commas...i love commas... too many damn commas everywhere (but i love them). Anything involving fight scenes or angst.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I think it's fine? no real opinion I guess? I just would not try because I do not speak other languages and it makes me too anxious to trust google translate in case it's wrong lmao

19. first fandom you wrote for? One Direction omg... Zayn girlie lol.

20. favorite fic you've written? Cruel Summer for sure. Got me back into writing after a LONG pause. I'm just very happy with how it turned out too.

tags!!! (sorry i only speak to like 2 people so please if you see this and wanna do it I tag you too mwuah) @sadhours @floredaqueen @destroya-hargrove

[alvallah]

omg your tags about Babel I felt the same way…and it got so much fawning praise idgi

Oh god I’m not even halfway through the damn thing and I have never felt so insulted by a book lmao maybe some people like being talked to like a baby. Maybe it’s a symptom of the increasing need to be spoon fed information instead of using your brain yourself idk.

My thing is okay, you’re writing a book about imperialism and racism, especially as it pertains to academia and the powerful elite. Know your audience. The people who want to read a story like this are presumably educated and experienced in this area of interest. You don’t need to explain that something is racist for us to get it. You don’t need to explicitly tell me —a reader intrigued by world politics and interested in the impact of imperialism— what silverwork is supposed to represent and why it’s fucked up how the characters are treated. I promise I can get it on my own lol the footnotes are such a waste of time with the exception of historical context tidbits.

I told my friend, this book sounds like someone trying to earn a creative writing credit AND finish their dissertation with one work. And it’s just not great. Yes the information and the concept is interesting. I loved the high importance of etymology and linguistics as a whole, I love the investigation of orientalism and imperialism as it permeates academia for the benefit of western powers, I love the magical alternate universe vibe, I love the drama of Babel as a concept, but GOD do I wish someone else wrote this book. The only personalities the characters seemingly have are “unconvincing two-dimensional tumblr SJW that somehow always speaks in perfect academic jargon” OR “same exact racist cunt copy-pasted five times”. No nuance, no depth, no indication of development, no meaningful emotional attachments, no artistry outside of weak thinly-veiled metaphor, etc and it comes off more preachy than eye-opening or thoughtful.

Idk man. You can be intelligent and scholarly but that does not necessarily mean you’ll be a great storyteller y’know? I think I’m just salty because the concept of this book had soooooo much potential and joined so many areas I’m interested in only to flop terribly. Disappointing!

[And I know I haven’t read her other works but after this idk if I’ll feel like it. There are so many talented authors of a variety of backgrounds and experiences that cover similar topics with so much more grace.]

[kittycatcarla]

📷🎵🐰🎧🙃🧸🦋🧡☕🦖🌴🤎🎤💄🌸💞

(skip any you don't feel comfortable with!)

This is long so I'm putting a cut at the beginning so that I'm not clogging yall dashes

I'm not gonna look for each emoji in my keyboard so I'll just write the prompts

Phone lockscreen: several backgrounds with the pallete of ace flag. Wanted to add more gor more flags but it doesn't work anymore (probably cause I fucked around with adb)

Last song I listened to: Diane Mozart by Saint Motel

What do you think says the most about a person: how they treat other people

Headphones or earbuds: honestly both. Depends on context

Weird fact that I know: uhhh mind empty, idk, the fur of polar bears is not only an incredibly good isolator, but most of it is actually transparent (welp, mostly trabslucid but same thing really)

Favourite place to nap: uh.. my bed? (Which is a couch but whatever)

Describe myself in 3 words: uhhhm idk. Adaptable, queer and handy

A colour i can't stand: probably insanely bright pink

Coffee or tea: tea. Coffee does nothing

Favourite extinct animal: dont really have that so ill say my favourite animal that cannot go extinct (citation needed): Tardigrades!

Desert island item: brobably a quality axe ngl. I'm gonna fucking survive but I need a solid tool for that

What colour is my hair: when I was little it was blonde but it's gotten brown over time

Is there a song I know all the lyrics to: babe I like to sings do many songs you don't even understand. I don't have enough memory to study for exams but god damn if I don't have space for so many songs

Do I wear make-up: no, but I'd like to paint my nails

Best compliment I've received: ok maybe it sounds sad but I actually have a txt file on my laptop with the compliments I've received that mean the most to me. They're three things I've received from 2 people and they're each a couple paragraphs long. Not gonna get in detail about them cuz like.. they're personal and have no relation with tumblr anyway

Tagging my favourite blog: idk I feel like tagging my friends or mutuals would be a bit cheap.. aldo because they're not favourites in that sense. They're friends. So uhm I'll tag @slimeel because I love their gorgeous hk art and because the skrunkly <22222

[lqfiles]

user lqfiles i have no idea what to call you.

see saying "hello tumblr user lqfiles" sounds ominous and it's giving sigma... god i hate that word. i have beef with the gen alpha slang, everytime i hear a reel with "what the sigma" i grow a little closer to throwing that toaster right into the bathtub. ANYWAYS, my point is that i'm going to figure out how to come up with a nickname for you. it'll come, eventually trust. i'll think of one okay. something to do with l & q idk. unless there's something else you want me to call you? ALSO NOOO IM NOT RICH. 😭😭 as i mentioned before i bought like... 3x the amount of pcs i OWNED BEFORE i went on a buying spree. so all i had was just the pcs i collected from albums that were gifts from friends... (i never thought it a good idea to spend money on this stuff for myself.) I was actually traveling abroad which was why i hadn't checked in for a bit, and the prices... were just so much cheaper!! So I decided, why not? fuck it we ball! (my life motto to everything at this point...) and i'm in a decent financially stable point in my life where i can indulge in this stuff, so i bought quite a bit... i tried to focus on buying pcs... cause storing albums in my suitcase makes it a lot heavier.

i definitely have a hand kink its not a joke anymore. IT REMINDED ME OF THIS IMAGE (idk if it's going to work if it doesn't uh.... ignore! cause i've never sent links on anon and tumblr hates making things easier for us.) https://postimg.cc/1gWC0B48 AND IDK IF YOU CAN SEE IT BUT ITS SO FUNNY I COULDNT STOP LAUGHING. they're both me

i also have no idea who louis partridge is BUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT I JUST LOOKED HIM UP AND GOD DAMN. like my taste in men is obviously questionable, and like most people i did have a thing for andrew garfield and theo james... but i think i often find myself crushing on east asians half of the time, mostly because i am eastern asian myself, and it's not like on purpose cause i do find other races hot, it's just the way i grew up finding famiiarity in those faces? does that make sense idk im yapping at this point.

ALSO THE SMAU IS SO FUNNY IM CAUGHT UP NOW.... HAECHAN LITERALLY GOING THROUGH ALL STAGES OF GRIEF. HE WANTS HER SO BAD BUT ALSO THE COMPLAIN ABOUT THE WHOLE PINTREST BROWSING.... LIKE HES SO REAL AND CUTE AT THE SAME TIME I LOVE HIM. (chatgpt is too real AND THE FACT THAT y/n IS EATING IT UP IS SO FUNNY LIKE I WOULD'VE ALREADY BEEN LIKE.... why does this sound like it's written by ai...) holy fuck that's a lot i ranted a lot anyways hello, look forward to the next chapter. love you and hope u have a great day TUMBLR USER LQFILES - 🤠

hejdhskdj sometimes i’m tempted to put my name back in my about me so you guys can put a name to my account but then i remember how don’t wanna be perceived THAT much and rethink #SOZZZZ idk maybe i’ll come up with a new alias that you can start addressing me by, tho if you’re curious you can figure my name out if you find my main blog and check my tags 😭

you’re gonna hate me omgg bc except for the word sigma (cos that cringe) i unfortunately love brainrot content atm… like yess give me the skibidi toilet rizz party, give me the ohio fanum tax, GIVE ME RHE MAXIMUM AURA 😅😂 the effect of living with little boys..

FUXK IF WE BALL IS SUCH AN AMAZING LIFE MOTTO like exactly.. we are ballin.. anyways you not spending any money yourself on albums is sending me lmaooo but at least you were able to use the money you had saved to buy yourself some cheeky pcs. tbh i think pcs are the only appealing part for most part when buying an album anyways so it’s a good thing that you didn’t buy albums lmaooo

THE IMAGE IS SHOWING LMAOOOO i love this pic so bad ughhh he has such nice hands i wish i could hold his hands and play with them.. the perfect mix between girly dainty hands and manly veiny like I WANXTHU SO BAD HAECHAN

MOST PEOPLE MUST NOT INLCUDE ME… but tbh i don’t think i have a specific race i like in men, THO IM IN MY ARABIC BOYS ERA RN… idk if anyone knows slushynoobz but hamza.. i wantchu saaaur bad like GIVE ME THE YEMENI BOY.. also i don’t think it’s weird to prefer your own people!!! its something a lot of cultures have too so don’t worry about it you’re not yapping, my mum is the same 😭

LOLLLL HAECHAN EXPERIENCES THE LOSS OF HIS UNOFFICIAL GF he was probably with his head in his hands when she didn’t respond to his apex request. and ntm he tweaked the letter a bit to make it more personalised!!! a bit of ai here and there but still personal!!!!

I LOVE YOU TOOO COWBOY ANON!!!

[kavaeroexe]

Hey, I have a request

What if we have a yandere bad batch x a male reader?

Maybe that reader could be a translator that just happened to work with them and they all fell in love with him.

And maybe he clueless to they advances and they just one day kidnap him? If that’s ok i hope you have a wonderful day

 Aaa i’m sorry but i still don't know much about bad batch, so i’m sorry if i’m mistaken on the boy’s behavior and might out of character (even though i did made them out of character most of the time) but i hope you guys enjoyed it!

Where is our Google translator?

(yan!bad batch x male!reader)

warning : typos, bad grammar  

attention! please do not try to repost my works, i only post my works on tumblr, if anyone see someone stole my works please inform me through the comments, tag me in the works, or message me!    

.

.

.

.

.

The first day you’re working with them...

“Pleasure to meet you guys, i’m Y/N L/N, but perhaps its better to call me L/N, i have been requested to assist you guys on...helping in negotiation things, talking, discussing with any allies that you guys might be have to be deal on the mission.”

you walked slowly but surely, checking every member that you are going to assist from now on, some are friendly looking, but some are not, but still friendly anyway, so it counts that they’re fine to work with together. you look at the biggest one, looks scary but his eyes explain the the exact different meaning from ‘scary’, it mores like he likes some kind of teddy bear..

“i must say, that you guys are a friendly partner to be work with” you say easily, then smiles upon wrecker and then put some distant, to see their confused-looking face.

“friendly? i think you’re so mistake-”

“i have spoken, so do not doubt my words, anyway, i need to know each one of you for this short moment” you walked past them once again, and start calling them by their name

“Hunter the leader?”

“Sir, yes sir” he replied. “delighted to make you acquaintances” you spoke, moving to another one

“er...echo right?” you asked, just to see you statement is true. “yes sir my name’s echo”. “Great, you got a nice chin right there, i see you got a lil change here” you simple-random compliment him.

“crosshair, the one and only best sniper i’ve heard in this batch, is it true?” you smiled, seeing him replying in agreement, you nodded and hit his chest “do your best”

“wrecker! nice to see a reliable big-guy right here!” oh interesting reaction, he lifts his head out of pride, nice confident.

“and last, the one handling the system, Tech. happy to see you in a great condition” you spoke, just to look at him fixing his glasses.

“Okay and i’m here, hoping that we could work just fine, don’t be like 501′st legion who draw a giant penis in the wall using their general’s lightsaber, or like the one commander from master Obi-Wan who scream while riding a lizard and a sudden bomb pops out on his way back to the camp” you said, and look at them understanding your words.

“wait- draw what with a what-” -Hunter

.

.

.

your first time able to make yourself useful on the mission...

you stand to look at the Tuskans that they’re able to catch for interrogation, but what makes it hard is the Tuskans can’t speak what they would understand, so that’s what you do, translating the words that the Tuskans said.

“what did he say?”- Hunter

“he says ‘kriff you ass off’“ -Y/N

wrecker in the back : BOM BOM BAKUDA- (okay this is an technical issues, wrecker will not say that but i think he’ll blast the Tuskans)

okey the Tuskans are done, lets move to another case of interrogation..

“so make him tell me how does he get into our system, so i’ll put an defense on that” -Tech

“*furiously talking in a weird language”- a guy idk who

“oh no, i think i know what he’s talking about...”-Tech

“what did he say then?”-Crosshair

Y/N, clicks blaster at the back, “God may forgive you, but i won’t.”

.

.

.

drops on earth mission...

“Anjay galak (damn so fierce in Indonesia)”

“Ayo dong bantai kami, ayo dong bang” (c’mere slaughter us dude, c’mon dude)”

“dia bule anjir, mana bisa bahasa Indonesia (they’re a tourists come on, be realist)”

“Y/N? where is he?”- Croshair

“anjing babi bamsat kampret anak tuolol”(bad words etc) *slides middle finger -Y/N

(okay this is my personal humor i think nobody likes it)

OR MAYBE-

Y/N says “oui” all the time while negotiating in France, and the one negotiate with Y/N brings up “baguette”...

“Oui oui baguette.”-Wrecker 

“Oui oui baguette.” -Echo

“Oui oui...baguette?”-Tech

the bad batch in whole time in France : *proceeds to say oui oui baguette all the time because that’s the only thing they could say and they got free bag of baguettes on their way back.

.

.

.

how Hunter and Tech falls in love..

the whole bad batch done the mission, but Hunter faints in the middle of the fight and finally wakes up. now someone’s panicking out of nonsense..

Hunter : wait- where’s Y/N!?

Tech : *cough

Hunter : you...left him alone!? try to contact him!!

Echo : *cough even harder

Hunter : why are you guys not moving? Quick we can’t lose him!

Crosshair : *harshly moves Hunter’s head* you’re being carried by him, idiot.

Y/N, in Obi-wan’s tone : Hello there.

Hunter : *surprise to see Y/N’s face a little too close, blushing, screaming inside, ends up coughing.

Tech, whispering : i think someone falls in love. how nice it is.

Y/N : right now is pride month?

Tech : no its June

Y/N : undestandable, thankyou dear Tech, love ya.

Tech : Hold up, dear? *Tech.exe stop working

.

.

.

how Echo and wrecker fall in love..

Echo *mumbling : damn i want to be carried to..

Hunter : you could ask him if you want

Y/N : pay first * looking at Echo munching his food portion

Echo : listen i’m broke- * instantly getting carried by Y/N

Y/N : there, you like it?

Echo : ....its weirdly comfortable, how tf should i pay- 

Y/N : *biting Echo’s food away from his mouth 

Echo : thats my portion of...food... *silently broke

Wrecker : lets see if you can’t carry me as well!! *runs into Y/N

Y/N : NO- *instantly drops echo and try to catch wrecker instead

.

.

.

well...crosshair? lets just say he start to loves you ever since you help him using a shotgun and hold him close while doing it, its not a chaos upon his way to fall in lov

.

.

.

how they grow yandere...

Hunter to Y/N : just follow my lead. don’t go anywhere.

Echo to Y/N : listen if you’re in danger, i’ll make you bald!

Y/N : you’re sucks at threatening

Wrecker : how to threat good then huh?

Y/N : just say ‘if something happens to you, i’ll kill everybody in this room and then myself.’

Crosshair : well, if something happens to you, i’ll kill everybody in this planet and then myself.

Tech : honestly, me too

Crosshair : copycat, get a better one.

[babyboibucky]

Promises, promises

Pairing: AU!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You believed that promises are meant to be broken but Bucky always proved you wrong. Until one day, he proved you right.

Word Count: 6,555 (oops I got carried away lol)

Warnings: Angst, a tiny bit of self-doubt but with a happy ending!!!

A/N: Some tags aren’t working, damn u tumblr! Anyway enjoy the angst and the shitty writing lmfao. Also kinda want to do ficlets for these two??? Like short fics about the happenings in their relationship, their first date, how they dealt with the break up idk, lemme know if anyone’s interested in that xoxo

MAIN MASTERLIST

-

It's been four and a half years since Bucky broke up with you and honestly, you're fine now. Fine, as in you've moved on from him and that you haven't been stalking his Instagram account anymore or have been asking Steve how he's doing since the break up. You're fine now, really.

There was not an ounce of denial left in your body after almost two years of pining and self-blame. But that doesn't mean you've forgotten the pain he caused you when he woke up one day and realized that he didn't need you anymore.

Forgive and forget they often told you and you badly wanted to do so. But it wasn't that easy to do, not when you still feel the pain as if it only happened yesterday.

"What did you say?" your forehead creased as you walked around the kitchen counter, quickly approaching Bucky who had his back to you as he stood in the living room of your shared apartment.

You weren't sure if you heard him right, or if he actually said anything. Perhaps you were just hearing things? Just this morning he woke up and greeted you with his charming smile before pressing a soft peck on your lips. You had cooked breakfast together, laughed together and even talked about what to have for dinner.

Sure, something about his demeanor earlier was a bit off, but you assumed it had something to do about his work and not because he wanted to break up with you.

Right?

"Bucky, what did you say?" you pressed when Bucky remained quiet; he didn't even turn around to face you.

He heaved out a deep sigh, "I said I need space." he murmured.

"What do you mean, Buck?" you asked again, voice small and shaky as you fidgeted with the hem of your shirt.

Of course you knew what exactly Bucky meant by that, but you didn't want to believe it. You were hopeful that maybe this was one of those petty fights you used to have, one where Bucky would spend the night over at Steve's. He'll come around the next day, he always does that. You always woke up to him whispering apologies to your ear and you would say your sorry too.

Bucky rubbed his face with his hand before finally turning to you, "I can't do this anymore." he said, shaking his head before averting his gaze to the floor.

He must have seen the look in your eyes when he faced you. As much as you believed that you were pretty good at hiding your emotions, it never worked on Bucky. He was the only person who could always read you; you could never hide from him.

"Bucky, I don't understand." you let out a nervous chuckle as you hugged yourself, biting your lower lip to prevent them from quivering as you held back the urge to cry.

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck, "I just...you've been too...fuck, I don't know how to say this without hurting you. I really don't want to." he admitted dejectedly, looking up at you.

You scoffed, "Just fucking say it, Bucky. I'm already hurt just by having this conversation." you told him.

"You're too good for me. Way too good."

Bucky’s words echoed in your mind again as you laid your eyes on him, four and a half years after your break-up. And just like that, you were back to square one.

You did your best to avoid him after he left, you felt like Bucky too tried to do the same. It was harder than you thought, given that you belonged to the same circle of friends. There were missed birthday parties, anniversaries and get togethers. If you knew Bucky was going to be there, you’d bail. Thank god you had a bunch of understanding friends who never took your absences against you.

But an engagement party between two of your friends? Now that was something you wouldn’t want to miss out on.

You’ve been really happy for quite a while now, to the point that it never crossed your mind that Bucky would surely be attending as well. He had been out of your system since the day you decided to move past him, which is why you thought that you were finally a-okay.

Tonight proved you wrong because as you watched Bucky smile and greet your friends, you realized that you still wanted to punch him and hurt him and tell him that you were still in lo—

“Hi.”

You were too focused on daydreaming about how you wanted to hurt Bucky that you failed to notice that he made his way to you and was now waiting for you to greet him back.

Bucky was smiling at you the same way he did on the night you first met at a college house party. You and Bucky have been together for that long.

“Hi.”

The music was too loud that you missed out on the stranger’s greeting, if not for his shadow looming over your hunched figure as you sat on the staircase, you would’ve completely ignored him.

The guy was looking down at you with a charming smile that made your cheeks turn pink. He was tall and slightly muscular, something you noticed right off the bat all thanks to the tight red henley he was sporting. The guy had long hair too, but it was tied back into a low man bun that was messy enough to leave tendrils of stray hair to frame his handsome face.

“Hi.” He repeated with a chuckle, a hint of amusement laced in his tone as he bit his lip at the sight of you just staring up at him.

“Hi?” You stammered awkwardly.

He laughed, “Um, can I pass through or is there some sort of password required?”

You realized that you had been blocking his way, everyone’s way actually. Quickly, you apologized and stood up to leave your spot only for the guy to block your way before you could even hop off of the last step of the staircase.

Thinking that you must have confused him and the direction you intended to go, you murmured a soft apology again before sidestepping him but to no avail. You looked up at him with a frown when you noticed that he was intentionally blocking your way.

It didn’t help that he was way taller than you. Despite the one being on the last step of the staircase, the guy still loomed over you.

“Excuse me?” You snapped and tried to move past him but he was way bigger than you and managed to stop you from passing through.

He had a cheeky smile on as he watched your futile attempt to squeeze your way out of his large body. You huffed out when he held onto the rail while his other hand on the wall, completely trapping you on the staircase.

“What’s the password?” He asked, still grinning at you.

You deadpanned, “Are you kidding me?”

He shook his head, “Nope.”

You stared at him blankly before glancing at his hands, observing whether you had a chance at prying them away from where they held on. It was then that you noticed how his left hand was covered in tattoos. The sleeve of his henley rode up quite a bit to reveal that his tattoos reached his wrist, he probably had his entire left arm sleeved with ink.

“Can I please pass?” You huffed out when you concluded that there was no way you would be able to escape him.

“Like I said, I need a password.” He insisted.

“Penis.” You stated, face free from any sort of expression.

The guy choked on his laughter, “Why would you honestly think that?” He asked incredulously.

You shrugged, “I thought you guys liked dick jokes.” You reasoned out.

The guy laughed as he shook his head, “Well, you’re not wrong.”

“It’s not the password?” You asked. “Don’t I get a hint or something, I really don’t have time for games right now. I have to go back to my dorm. I have a test tomorrow.” You told the guy.

“I can’t believe you’re thinking about a test. What’s your major anyway?” He asked.

You groaned, “Like I said, I don’t have time for games or even for a conversation. Come on, just let me pass through!”

The guy hummed as he stared at you, as if he was thinking of something. You wanted to look away but he had beautiful ocean blue eyes that you found yourself slowly getting lost in.

“I’ll give you hints.” He announced. “Two hints actually, because I’m feeling generous.”

“Okay, then. Just spit it out!” You rushed.

The guy grinned.

“The password is made up of your name followed by your number.”

“Hi.”

You blinked when Bucky repeated his greeting. When you regained your senses, you cleared your throat and simply nodded at him as acknowledgment. You saw how Bucky’s smile faltered seconds before you looked away and pretended to look for someone.

“I can’t believe you just brushed me off.” He chuckled, running his fingers through his hair.

Bucky had cut off his hair right after graduation. He sported a clean cut since then but now he had longer locks; not as long as his college hair though. It just looked fluffier, you fought the urge to imagine how it’d feel through your fingers.

“I can’t believe you just expected me to greet you as if nothing happened.” You told him, letting your eyes wander around the place.

Bucky exhaled heavily and shook his head, “I thought we’d be okay by now.” He admitted. “Guess I was wrong.”

You clicked your tongue in irritation, snapping your head into his direction after avoiding his gaze earlier. “I am okay, but that doesn’t mean I am okay with being around you.” You hissed.

“I honestly thought we’d still be friends, you know. Civil at least.”

What has gotten into Bucky’s mind for him to expect a lovely reunion between the both of you? Things didn’t end well, he just left. He was too ambitious to even think that you’d greet him with rainbows and butterflies.

“We’re not friends, Bucky. Not even acquaintances.” You told him.

Bucky opened his mouth to say something until someone tapped on the mic, announcing that the newly engaged couple, Wanda and Vis, had something to say to their guests. By the time he looked back at you, you had already walked away and joined Nat at their table.

It reminded Bucky of the days when he used to watch your back retreat into your dorm whenever he walked you home.

“So, you gonna tell me the password or what?”

You felt all your blood rush to your head and you’ve never been thankful for existence of strobe lights. You were probably red as a tomato. Who wouldn’t be anyway? This handsome dude just asked for your name and number!

“Is this a joke?” You managed to asked and thanked the heavens that you didn’t stutter.

The guy shook his head, “I don’t really joke around.” He shrugged.

“Why do you even want to know my name and number?” you curiously asked.

Bucky shrugged, “Been watching you since you arrived.”

“Creeper.” you accused.

“Hard not to when you’re the only grumpy person in a party. I know your friends dragged you here, I mean you said you have a test tomorrow and you don’t seem the type to party a day before. Besides, you’ve been keeping to yourself the entire time. Figured you might want some company, one with substance.” he boastfully wiggled his eyebrows at you.

His confidence appalled you but you were also surprised at how he seemed to have read your mind. Or personality, in general.

“Hey, Bucky!”

You watched the guy turn his head towards front door where a blonde guy— Steve from the student council, you recognized— entered. You thought it’d give you a chance to slip away but the guy, well Bucky, kept his hands in place.

“Kinda busy right now, pal. I’ll catch up with you later.” He said.

Steve’s gaze moved past Bucky until they landed on you. He chuckled as he shook his head at his friend’s antics. Steve walked away but not without acknowledging you.

“He may not seem like it, but Bucky’s a good guy. You can take my word for it.”

Bucky turned to you and lifted an eyebrow, “I mean, coming from a student council member, that’s a pretty credible source.” He said confidently.

You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from smiling. You had to admit, Bucky had a way with words and actions. His boyish charm was working on you and you hated how easily you were falling for it. And you just met the guy like ten minutes ago!

“So, what’s the password?” Bucky asked again.

You tapped your foot as you crossed your arms over your chest, “You promise to let me go if I tell you?”

Bucky made a face, “I don’t think that’s the right term because you can expect more of me once you give me the password. But I’ll definitely step aside. That’s a promise.” He reassured.

“Promises are meant to be broken.” You stated.

“Yeah, well watch me prove you wrong. Password? Pretty please?” He asked cutely and fuck, Bucky was really winning you over just like that.

Letting out a defeated sigh, you tell him your name and number. Just as he promised, Bucky stepped aside and quickly fished out his phone to type in your number. You honestly didn’t expect for him to remember it after hearing it once, but you peeked and he actually did. Impressive.

“Like I promised, off you go to study.” He said and motioned his arm towards the front door.

You sighed and offered a small smile before finally walking past him. You were about to open the front door when Bucky beat you to it.

“I told you ‘let go’ is the wrong term ‘cause I’m walking you home tonight.” Bucky said. “And tomorrow night too. And the next night and the next next night. Or afternoon. Morning? Whatever time your classes finish.”

Bucky really proved you wrong that night because he did walk you home the next night and the next next night too. It went on until he no longer had to watch you enter your dorm or apartment because eventually, the two of you ended up going to the same home.

It’s very ironic really, that it was also Bucky who failed to prove you wrong when he broke his promise not to hurt you, ever. You wondered whether it was your fault that you actually believed in him. It was hard not to though, because Bucky’s earned your trust from all the promises he made and kept.

Which is why it was even more painful when one day, he decided to break the one promise you truly held on to.

“I’ll always love you, you know that right?”

Bucky blurted it out randomly that his statement confused the hell out of you. The two of you were just playing a video game when he said it, making you hit pause.

“And where did that come from?” You asked with amusement.

Bucky frowned, “You could’ve reacted differently. I was hoping for a high-pitched ‘awwww!’ and this is what I get?” He teased, taking your chin in between his index finger and thumb to pull you close so he could bite your nose playfully.

“You said it out of the blue!” You told him with a laugh. “But it made me happy though.” You admitted and kissed his cheek.

“Yeah, well it’s true. I mean, this thing we got? It’s forever.” Bucky said and lovingly smiled at you.

You pretended to gag at his words but it was obvious that you felt like you were on cloud nine when Bucky said that. “Cheeseballs!” You teased.

“This cheeseball’s gonna put a ring on that finger one day. That’s a promise!”

A finger snapped right in front of your face, “You good?” Nat asked.

You nodded and tried your hardest not to look at Bucky. He was seated with Steve, Sam and some other guys at the table next to yours. You could feel him staring at you and it was making you anxious.  Nat and Sharon exchanged looks before letting out a sigh in unison.

“Come on, I’m fine. Stop looking at me like that!” You told them with a forced chuckle.

“What did Bucky say?” Sharon asked. She’d seen Bucky approach you upon his arrival, saw the expressions you both had as you talked and knew immediately that it didn’t go well.

Nat hummed before taking a quick sip from her glass of wine, “We’ve been watching and we’re curious.”

“He was expecting for us to be friends.” You simply stated.

Nat and Sharon groaned and rolled their eyes, “What a dick.” Nat said.

“Men really do have the audacity.” Sharon laughed and shook her head.

You joined her laughter and lifted up your own glass of wine, “I’ll drink to that.” You said before finishing your drink in one go.

One glass of wine turned into two and then three and then four. Six drinks later and you were buzzed and unstoppable. You weren’t that drunk, you were good at handling alcohol but you were tipsy for sure. The formalities of the engagement party were finally done and the guests were left to mingle around.

Wanda and Vis immediately went to your table to catch up and after giving them your heartfelt congratulations (and apologies for missing out on plenty of events), you decided to step out of the venue to get some fresh air.

The silence allowed you to process your thoughts, the same thoughts you had repressed for years. You were happy for Wanda and Vis, truly. The two have been the epitome of soulmates and it was only right for them to end up tying the knot. But you also couldn’t help but wonder, would you and Bucky end up in marriage too had he decided to stay and work things out with you?

You lift up your left hand and stared at your bare ring finger. Just a few years ago, you’d been wearing a simple gold band studded with tiny diamonds around it— a promise ring. Bucky had given it as a gift on your 6th anniversary. You’d gotten together when you were just 19 and Bucky 21. People always doubted that your relationship with him wouldn’t last long given that the two of you were so different. Not to mention, Bucky had a reputation. Girls fawned over him; he was tall and handsome, had a rugged appeal to him thanks to his long hair and tattooed left arm. He drove a damn motorcycle that got him into trouble plenty of times.

You were Miss Goody Two Shoes who played it safe and Bucky was the Big Bad Wolf who liked taking risks.

It was a surprise when your relationship with him kept on progressing and the next thing you knew, the both of you have been together for a total of eight long years. It would’ve reached nine but shit happened and Bucky decided that those eight years didn’t matter to him anymore.

“Can we talk?”

If Bucky asked you that a couple of years ago, you would’ve probably punched him in the face and kneed him at the crotch before running away. Well, you still wanted to do so but a part of you wanted to talk things out. Get a proper closure maybe since Bucky failed to give you a detailed explanation that would help you understand why he chose to leave you.

Nat told you once that some things are better left unsaid. You spent years secretly pining for Bucky after the break up, spent nights questioning yourself where you lacked that made him leave you. You’d asked Steve about Bucky whether he met someone knew or how he was dealing with the break up; it did you more damage than good until you finally gave up and decided to actually move on.

But now that Bucky was here and there was no way to avoid him, maybe you deserved this confrontation after all.

“What do you want to talk about?” You asked, keeping your eyes on the pavement right in front of you.

You felt Bucky stand beside you, placing his hands inside the pockets of his jeans before turning to you, “About us.”

You snickered, “Us? What about us? What is there to talk about us?” You asked, turning your head to face him.

Bucky’s eyes have always been your favorite feature of his. They were very expressive and if Bucky could see through you every damn time, it was his eyes that you could always read. They were still blue but they held a certain emotion in them as he gazed at you.

Sadness and...regret?

Before your assumptions could get the best of you, you turned away and waited for Bucky to speak again.

“I can’t keep on avoiding you.” He said. “I’ve been doing so for the past few years and it kills me.” He admitted.

“And you think I want to keep doing this too? I’ve missed out on so many occasions because I just couldn’t be around you. You’re not the only one struggling.” You said.

Bucky shrugged, “Then let’s stop avoiding each other.”

The way he suggested it almost offended you; he was so nonchalant about it as if it was so easy to just let him waltz back into your life. Truth was, you dreamt of the day that he’d come crawling back to you. But you knew better than to let your walls down just because you miss him.

“When Steve told me that you seemed to be doing well, I really thought it meant that we can become friendly with each other, y’now. I mean, eight years. Those years meant so much to me, we’ve been through a lot and—“

“Are you fucking kidding me right now, Barnes?!” You bitterly chuckled.

“If those eight years together really meant a lot to you, you would’ve stayed. You would’ve allowed me to work it out with you! But what, you broke up with me because you thought I was too good for you? That you felt suffocated just because I was looking out for you?”

You didn’t mean to snap at Bucky like that, in your mind you thought you would be able to have a calm conversation with him. But with the alcohol running through your body, you couldn’t stop yourself from expressing yourself and and feeling the same way you did on that specific night.

“Too good? How am I too good for you, Buck?” You asked, immediately wiping off the tears that escaped your eyes.

“You have everything planned out! For yourself, for us. And it makes me feel fucking useless! I see you work your way up at your job and I’m still figuring out what the hell I want to do with my life!” He exclaimed.

You shook your head, “I didn’t know you felt that way.” You whispered. “If you told me this then I could’ve done something about it, Buck! Rather than let it get this far, I would’ve fixed it.” You told him and tried to reach out but Bucky took a step back.

“That too! You’re a fixer! You always end up fixing things. This relationship has become an endless cycle of me fucking up things and you picking up the pieces. And every single time you clean my mess, I feel like you’re hoping I’d be like the others. It’s like you’re trying to make me into a person I’m not just so I could fit this, this certain mold you had in mind!” He accused you.

You wiped again your tears and refused to believe him, “That’s not true, Bucky! I’ve always loved you for who you are, I never asked you to change for me!”

“Yes, you do! You never said it but I always felt it...when Steve got promoted and when Sam finally launched his business. You always wanted me to be like them, you never said it out loud but that’s what you made me feel whenever we talk about my job...or lack thereof.” He chuckled bitterly.

Bucky may not be traditional in the sense that he considered himself an artist. He never liked the idea of settling for a nine to five desk job so he took on a job as a tattoo artist. It wasn’t a permanent job and he didn’t have clients demanding for him all the time so it gave him time to work for a motorcycle shop too.

It was never a problem for you but practically speaking, your and Bucky’s joint savings wouldn’t be enough for the future that the both of you have planned out.

“I’ve been supportive of you! I never asked you to give up on those jobs, Bucky.” You defended yourself.

Bucky nodded his head, “You don’t know it but you do. That’s how I felt whenever you suggested that I try something else.”

“It’s because I know you can do so much more! Stay at the tattoo parlor and mechanic shop, then fine! But don’t settle because you have the potential to make it out there, that’s what I want you to know! I don’t understand why you’re limiting yourself, Buck. Why you’re suddenly so afraid.”

You carefully took a step closer to Bucky and thank god he let you this time. You swallowed the lump in your throat and reached out to cup his face in your hand. Bucky was livid, his chest rising heavily with every breath he took.

“You were the one who taught me to be brave, to take risks. I used to be so afraid, remember? Afraid to ride your motorcycle, to try out that job I thought I couldn’t handle. I was so scared to commit,” you chuckled, remembering how much you hesitated to give Bucky a chance when he asked you to be officially his girlfriend.

“...but you’ve always been there for me. And I want to do the same with you. I know that it seems scary to let go of what you believe is your calling. You don’t have to let go of it, Buck. But you gotta try something new too.” You said as you let your thumb caress the skin beneath his eyes.

There was silence between the two of you. Bucky had calmed down and you thought that it was over. Little did you know that it was simply the calm before the storm. Because the words that came out of Bucky’s mouth were the words you didn’t expect to hear.

“Well, this is me trying something new.”

Bucky refused to meet your gaze and simply let your hand move away from his face. You shook your head no as you turned around to compose yourself.

“We were fine this morning, Buck. What happened?” You asked and embraced yourself, seeking comfort you knew you’d only get if Bucky changed his mind.

“I thought we were fine too. But the tattoo parlor is closing in a month and we haven’t been getting plenty of clients at the motorcycle shop. And it just hit me y’now, I dread coming home to you because I know you’d be disappointed and that again, you’d offer to fix my shit and the thing is, I don’t want you to. I don’t want you to fix my shit or tell me how to deal with my problems! I woke up and realized that I just don’t...” Bucky paused when you swiftly turned around with a frown, eyes brimming with a fresh new wave of tears.

“Don’t say it, Bucky. I’ll be better, I promise! I won’t nag you or pressure you into anything. Just please, don’t say it. Please don’t. We can still work this out.” You begged Bucky.

You weren’t sure you could take it, what he wanted to say. You already knew what he was going to tell you, you didn’t want to hear it. Let other people say it but god, it’d break you if you heard it from him.

“I’m sorry but I don’t need you anymore.”

The stabbing pain in your heart felt so familiar, the kind that punched all the air out of your lungs. You thought you were done crying over Bucky, but you were so wrong.

“I fucked up.” Bucky huffed out, bowing his head as if ashamed.

“You realized that just now?” You snickered. “Do you know how long it took for me to get over you? To forget the pain from hearing you tell me that you don’t need me anymore? After eight years together, Buck. You were my first everything and you gave up on us. And you really expected us to be friends, just like that?!” You spat.

“I’m sorry!” Bucky exclaimed, lifting his head to look up at you and you were surprised that his eyes were glazed with tears.

“I was wrong, I was so fucking wrong. Because you were right, I shouldn’t have settled then. But god I was an idiot, an insecure idiot.” He admitted.

“I was so used to being the one who guided you that it fucking hurt my ego when I noticed that you were becoming your own person outside of our relationship. I was supposed to be the one supporting you, pushing you to be better. You ended being the one leading me. I let my ego get the best of me and thought I’d be better off without you. But it was the biggest mistake of my life because when I left, I felt even more lost.” Bucky explained.

You were left speechless, you weren’t sure why Bucky was telling you all this. Did he want you back or was he simply apologizing? You didn’t have words so you remained quiet and waited to see whether Bucky had more to say.

“I’m so sorry, I really am. I hurt you. I should’ve stayed, should’ve worked with you to fix our relationship. I hate what we’ve become, I sincerely wanted us to be civil with each other at least.” He said.

“Bucky, you’ve been saying the same thing over and over again. I’m not sure you understand the situation. I can’t be friends with you. Not after what happened. I thought I was fine but now I realized that I’ve never really moved on from the pain you caused me.” You told him and sniffed, looking back to check whether your friends could see you.

Thankfully, all the guests were still busy mingling with each other. It’s as if the universe meant for this confrontation to happen. But now you weren’t sure what to do after you finally got a clear explanation from Bucky.

“I wanted a fresh start with you.” Bucky said. “Thought that it would make it easier for me to win you over if we were friends again.”

You scoffed in disbelief, “It’s not that easy, Buck. I can’t just let you walk back into my life after your apology. It doesn’t work that way.”

You tried to move past him but he immediately blocked your way, “When I said I’ll always love you, I meant it. I still do. I want to make things right, please. Give me one last chance to fix this.”

Maybe it was the alcohol in your system, maybe it was Bucky’s words and how sincere he sounded that made your head spin. Your heart was racing and your palms turned cold. You wanted him back too, so bad but you weren’t sure if it was a good idea. He broke your heart and your trust, you weren’t sure if you’d survive if he left you again.

“I can’t continue this conversation, Bucky. I have to go.” You told him and made your way towards the door to the venue.

However, Bucky was quick to stand in front of the door. He had a determined look on his face, one that looked extremely familiar. You were still hurt but couldn’t deny the fact that you too, still love him.

Even after everything that had happened, Bucky still owned your heart.

“Bucky, can you please move? I want to go home.” You said and tried to reach for the door knob but Bucky moved and leaned against the door.

“You need a password to get through.”

You rolled your eyes, “We’re way too old for this, Bucky. I’m not playing with you.”

He shook his head, “I’m not playing either. Give me the password or else we’d be here the entire night.”

You huffed out, “This isn’t funny. Let me through.”

Bucky shrugged, “No can do. Like I said, I can do this all night.”

You deadpanned, “What’s the hint?” You asked with a defeated sigh, knowing well enough that there was no way you could walk past him without playing along with his stupid little game.

“Consists of three words.” Bucky said.

“Penis boobs vagina.”

Bucky cackled, “And I thought you said we’re too old for this.”

You groaned, “I’m serious, Bucky. Just let me go.”

“No. I made that mistake once and I’m not doing that again. I love you. And I promise that this time, it’ll be different. I know you still love me too, so again I am asking you to take a risk and say it.”

Bucky said it with conviction and you hated how it made your stomach flip. Up until this day, Bucky had a way to make you fold. And he could still read you.

“I’m not saying it, Bucky. How sure are you that I still feel the same anyway?” you asked.

Bucky tipped his head towards your neck, “Not sure if you just forgot but you’re wearing the promise ring as a necklace.”

Fuck. Of course, you’d forgotten about it. You may not have been wearing it on your finger, but you still continued to wear it. It meant a lot to you even after the break up, so much so that you couldn’t simply throw it away or remove it. You figured that it might be better to keep it around your neck. Out of sight, out of mind but still there. You wanted it to exist, it was a part of you.

“Say it and I promise that you won’t regret it.” Bucky insisted.

“Promises are meant to be broken. You proved that the night you broke up with me.” Your voice quivered when you said that.

“And I want to make it up for it for the rest of my life.” He reassured.

“History repeats itself. I don’t think I can deal with it again if you realized the second time around that you don’t need me. Buck, you really hurt me.” You said, voice cracking before you could even finish your sentence.

Bucky quickly took your face in between his hands and for some reason, it felt right. The warmth of his palm, the love in his eyes as he gazed at you, it felt like home.

“I know and I hate myself for it. So fucking much. But I promise you, it wouldn’t happen again. I fixed my life when you left, realized that you were right. I’m better now. So let me be the fixer this time, let me be the one to fix this mess, to pick up the pieces. Because I’m just as afraid to let you go again. I can’t do that again. I love you and I need you. I always did.”

The kiss he pressed on your forehead caused your walls to crumble down. All of a sudden you were sobbing into his arms and apologizing.

“I didn’t mean to pressure you then, Buck. I didn’t know, I’m sorry too.” You cried.

“Shh, no. Please don’t apologize.” Bucky coaxed as he pulled back to kiss your tears away. “None of this was your fault, baby. It’s all on me. Let me make it up to you, please?”

The term of endearment made your heart flutter and as much as you hated how Bucky easily won you over, again, the love you have for him was quick to outweigh it. You knew you shouldn’t have given in to him just like that, but this was Bucky. He was your greatest love, someone who owned your heart even after he left.

“I miss you, baby. Couldn’t fathom the thought of you being with someone else.” Bucky admitted as he hugged you tightly.

“I was so stupid, so fucking stupid. I hated myself for hurting you. I won’t do it again, I swear.”

His hand rubbed circles against your back, helping you calm down after your breakdown. He swayed you from side to side, pressed kisses on your crown and whispered promises that he was sure he was going to keep and you basked in it. When you finally calmed down, you pressed your face into Bucky’s neck and inhaled his scent.

He smelled the same, like comfort and love and trust. You hugged him tighter and smiled into his skin and mumbled, “I love you.”

Bucky chuckled, “You got the password right but I don’t think I’m letting you go just yet.”

“Nat and Sharon’s gonna kick our asses if they find out.” You chuckled.

He pulled back and stared at you lovingly, “I’ll take the hit for you.” he laughed.

“I’m sorry.” he mumbled again, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

“Forgiven.” You told him and stood on your tiptoes until Bucky bent down to meet your lips in a kiss.

You sighed into the kiss. Four and a half years of pain and anger all gone and replaced with the love you always had for Bucky. His lips against yours made you dizzy but in a good way.

It felt right, like this was how things were really supposed to be.

You pulled back and sighed, “As much as I want to stay like this, I’m really tired.”

Bucky let you go but took your hand in his, intertwining his fingers with yours. “I’m driving you home tonight.” He said.

You smiled.

“And the next night. And the next next night.”

Yet again, Bucky proved himself to be worthy of another chance. Because he drove you home the next night, and the next next night. It went on until he regained your trust back and all was well enough for him to finally reveal the black velvet box that he had been keeping in his pocket since the night of your eventful reunion.

“You need a password to see what’s inside.” Bucky grinned up at you as he bent down on one knee.

You chuckled through your years, “Any hint?”

“One word, three letters.”

You wiped away your tears with a smile followed by a subtle nod.

“Yes.”

Bucky kept his promise all along, he really did put a ring on your finger. Took quite a while with plenty of obstacles that caused its delay, but a promise fulfilled nonetheless.

-

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii @jessou893 @stealapizzamyheart @bagelofthelord @mxnt @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky @ohladymacbeth @wildflowergubler @supraveng @twinerd14 @buckysmar  @bakugouswh0r3 @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm @charminivy @amelia-song-pond @iamvalentinaconstanza @mcubqrnes

Sign up on my tag list here - https://forms.gle/b5haFXewSKqnXxxh7