#god bless self checkout

[blueish-bird]

there are JJK figurine blind bags I’ve been occasionally buying for myself — I’d gotten 3 out of 4 without duplicates, but considering that I had a 25% chance to get Megumi/avoid duplicates, I’d made peace with the low likelihood of completing my collection. But, when I went to buy another one today, someone had partially opened a blind bag and I could see Megumi was inside!

in conclusion: thank you whoever opened and didn’t take anything from a blind bag at my local target. my collection is complete and I’m very happy about it

All Four of Them

[kushblazer666]

last christmas i was buying booze at da meijer self checkout and there was just a guy loading up a cart full of groceries into bags without scanning a single thing and then he just rolled off with it in the plain view of at least 30 cameras and all i have to say is god bless you sir

[saucyjothoughts]

🌼 i was literally just in your inbox talking about feminized kris but the nacekris got to me. bless you saucy its one of my favorite ships. i realise this is pretty long to drop in your ask box so i apologize if thats bad etiquette - i got carried away

i imagine theyre in the london apartment. kris thinks hes all alone putting his get up on. for all intents and purposes, hes supposed to be. nace just comes home earlier because he realises hes forgotten his metro card.

its a set he found in london, on his way back from his photoshoot with damon. he stopped at the mall just to pick up shampoo, he swears, but on the way to the pharmacy he passes the lingerie store.

he actually gasps seeing it in the window. its extremely pretty. innocent in the dirtiest way possible. pretty and pink, and mostly see through, a little bow with a pearl in the middle of the knot right above where his cock would sit in the panties. the bralette is a bandeau with no sponge padding but still the sort hed shove his pecs into and the way the elastic bands at the top and bottom would crowd them would turn them into small handfuls.

he stares as he passes it and is distracted through his entire pharmacy trip. he picks up the wrong shampoo and realises as hes queuing for the checkout, twice, and almost forgets to pick up the cough drops jure asked for. he tries to pay with the wrong card and lets out a string of colorful slovene as it declines and he has to pick out the correct one. he apologizes to the cashier for the inconveniece as he punches his pin in, and she makes a joke about him being distracted with valentines day coming up. he swears all of his blood leaves his brain and his legs and arms as he blushes scarlet and stutters something like an agreement, which just makes the cashier giggle more.

he does stop for the set. somewhere between the pharmacy and the store something in his brain breaks fundamentally, he guesses, and its like the dial on his self control is a level pushed so hard it cant be unstuck ever again. he walks in and gets help from a sales assistant. he tells her a pretty story about his girl named tina (conveniently leaving out how that comes from kristina), and their planned trip to his hometown for valentines day, and really he just wants to surprise her so bad with the set in the window she saw the other day.

he thinks the lever on his self control mightve unstuck when he gets to checking out, but he spots some almost entirely transparent stockings and it becomes apparent said lever might never become work normally again. but you dont understand, theyre so beautiful, theyd look like theres just a line down the back of his legs. thank fucking god he knows his measurements, he thinks not for the first time. a lifetime of getting pants tailored for his longs legs is good for just the one thing, he guesses.

he tucks the set and the stockings, in their packaging, in the very bottom of his backpack, under everything else and hopes he finds a place in his shared fucking room he can hide it well enough. fuck that broken lever, seriously.

the whole ordeal leaves his heart beating so hard he chainsmokes his last four cigarettes in the bus stop, hoping he gets home at least looking normal.

now, in his room, hes putting on the set, hoping he at least gets to look at himself in the mirror before everyone else comes home if nothing else. he's midway through putting on the bralette, trying to figure out how to do the closing mechanism in the back properly with how wide the bandeau is, when he hears the apartment door open and close.

fuck no shit no fuck fuck fuck fuck. hes trying to be quiet, searching for his pants, pretending to be alseep, hoping whoever entered isnt looking for him or anything in his room.

of course luck isnt on his side. of course he hears, "kris? are you up? i think my metro card fell out of my jeans in there last night."

right, of course, he and nace hung out until late last night in his room, until bojan kicked them both out to facetime jere in peace. he must be quiet for too long, because the door opens before he gets to say just a sec or anything similar and now hes there, lace panties on, pink roses all over his ass and god, the bow too, and hes holding the bralette in his hands and now naces there and hes so fucking mortified and-

"im sorry," nace says too quickly and closes the door, and his blushing face and dilated pupils is burned onto kris's retinas for ever and ever now, he thinks.

he hears the apartment door close and lock and thats that for now. christ on bikes.

sure, hes slept with nace before. hes slept with everyone in the band, and a few people in the crew. several times. but thats different. quickies in venue dressing rooms, and club bathrooms and one memorable time in the tour bus lounge area. thats different.

hes not even in the mood anymore. he changes and tucks the lingerie away and takes a cold shower that takes too long. is there something wrong with him? the store in the mall taught him that his self control is shot when it comes to pretty underwear but now hes really thinking its something else. like, psychologically. he thinks about texting damon to get his ass here, since there is no way in hell hell talk to anyone in the band about it and damon might be his best shot, but then decides to look up therapists near him when words like nymphomania and hypersexuality pass his mind. his questionable health insurance policy leaves him, however, thinking that would be better to consider when he returns to slovenia. he gets in bed despite it being barely late afternoon and tosses about and then sleeps until the next day.

nace doesnt say anything about it, but keeps giving kris these long looks when he thinks he isnt looking, which might be worse.

the situation does resolve itself, in the most satisfying twist of fate, when they end up alone in the house a week or so later.

jan is the last to leave and hes barely out of the door, throwing one last shifty look to kris and nace (because of course hed notice something is up), when nace pins him to the nearest wall in the living room. nace starts kissing and biting at his neck before kris can even gasp, and then starts speaking.

"god, you were so pretty. all lace and blush." and kris is so suprised, nace never initiates this aggressively, which has a thrill going through him at just the thought, and he lets out the most embarassing sound of his fucking life right then.

"cmon, baby," nace continues, and its so uncharacteristic and so rough and so erotic, kris is so hard he becomes light headed. "why dont you go put your pretty clothes on, huh?" kris barely manages to gulp and nod, and then theyre rushing to his room, naces hands all over his back and ass and waist on the way. its clear nace was as affected as kris is and he doesnt know what to do with himself, his brain getting fuzzy from arousal and embarassment.

in his room, he gets out the set nace got a glimpse of and sets about putting it on. he chooses not to examine how satisfying the whole ordeal is, from how the lace is laying against his ass to nace groaning and gripping himself through his pants. the groaning gets loder when he bends over to put on the stockings.

he turns back to face nace when its time for the bralette and puts on his most innocent face. nace, thankfully, gets it, and helps him do the back.

"what a pretty girl you make," he comments off handedly, and something breaks further is kris's brain. oh. nace catches on, of course, and grins in that dangerous way he does. "look at you, dressed up all nice for me. and so shy, never wouldve showed me. do you want to out anything else on? or can i have fun with you now?"

kris has not felt this out of his fucking mind since he got high for the first time, almost a decade prior. he barely gets to squeak out, "shoes. lipstick."

naces eyebrows hit his hairline when he processes what hes hearing and he hums, "where are the shoes, pretty girl? put your makeup on, ill get them," he says, all gently.

"under- in the closet, in the black box, under the jackets." nace kisses his forehead and turns to rifling through the closet.

kris's one and only lipstick, he bought on accident. he bought it in poland at a drug store, thinking it was a balm, which he still half thinks it is, except its extremely pigmented, a nudey pink, but impossible to miss. he puts it on in the full length mirror, which lets him see nace finding the shoes, and whistling when he opens the box.

theyre simple pink pumps he bought second hand weeks ago, which thinking back, is probably when he shouldve realized his self control was shot. he planned to donate them again or throw them away before moving back, depending on how shot they were by that time.

"cmon, sit down, ill help you." and he does. naces hands on his legs feel reverent, and kris feels the band on his panties lift with how turned on he is. nace looks him up and down, and when he finally gets to look at his face, he breathes hard.

kris never gets to walk around in the heels. nace pushes him down on the bed in the next second and kisses him hard, smearing make up all over his face. nace drags down the bralette and tortures his nipples with his teeth and hands until theyre puffy and red and erect. like a girls, kris's brain helpfully supplies.

one hes done with kris's nipples, nace lets his mouth run. he tells kris how pretty and sexy he is, how nice it is of him to surprise nace like this as he pushes the panties to the side, spitting on kris's hole a few times before he pushes a first finger in.

kris cant keep his noises in, moaning and whimpering and gasping. at one point, nace stops fingering him to push the bralette back up over his tits, and the lace rubbing iver his raw nipples almost has kris coming right then.

nace keeps his mouth running as he fucks kris, kris's pumps on his shoulders. its probably the most vocal kris has seen him during sex. moaning and groaning and praising and degrading kris all at one. calling him pretty, and a dirty girl all in one, and calling him perfect fucking slut for me, which shoots kris's brain up into flames.

when kris is close, nace jerks him off through the panties until he comes in them, ruining the lace, and then pulls out to jerk himself off and come over them, too. kris feels so dirty and so hot, and hes so in his head about it he doesnt feel when nace drags the panties down to his knees, and gasps loudly when nace begins licking at his wet cock to clean him up. nace continues long after hes clean, only stopping when kris is too over sensitive to take it anymore.

kris's mind is far away as nace takes off all the pieces of his set, and takes him to the bathroom to wash him off. nace kisses his neck and face and whispers praises as he washes kris's hair and body. he even changes the bed sheets, which kris is extremely thankful for, and puts the lingerie in the bag kris took it out of.

they cuddle for a long time, until kris can vocalize more that hnggggh, "do you figure i could get the panties dry cleaned? so we can mess them up again."

nace laughs with his entire chest, and runs his hair through kris's damp hair, "ill buy you a thousand pairs if you let me mess them up."

NaceKris nation, come get your breakfast!

[shutupptara]

‘tis the damn season - nathan mackinnon

summary: set during the 2020-shortened season- you’re home for christmas when you run into one nathan mackinnon on a grocery run. it’s been years since you’ve last talked, let alone seen each other, but it’s quickly like no time has passed. and the road not taken looks real good now..

i’ve been writing this since 2020. much like all of my writing i’ve posted, you have @kat-hearts to thank for this. she lovingly bullied me into finishing a piece i hadn’t touched in years. set at christmas, but not a christmas story. also set during the pandemic, so reality is very hand wavy (aka the nhl pushing the season happens, but lockdown isn’t reallllly a big deal) so if that bothers you, maybe skip this one.

is this any good? i honestly don’t know, but i know i loved writing nate so pls enjoy

word count: 13,151

warnings: alcohol use, strong language, explicit sexual content MINORS DNI, a general disdain for life and choices made, a tiny bit of angst, hating on Florida (it’s okay i live there) a LOT of self indulgence

title from ‘tis the damn season by Taylor Swift

It wasn’t that she didn’t like returning home for holidays, it was just a huge ordeal every time it happened. Not only was it a 3,000 mile trip, there was always ice and snow to contend with. Coupled with her well-meaning, albeit overbearing, neighbors, the holidays get to be a bit much for her to handle. Still, there’s something wonderful about the tranquility of home. Refreshing, really. With a year as stressful as 2020 had been, it was a blessing to be able to return home for the holidays.

Her first true day of Christmas break, her mother begs her to go to the store for her: there’s so much baking to prepare for, and while she is happy to do the shopping for her, she knows it’s so she won’t see her wrapping presents. Even at 26, her mom insists upon marking her gifts ‘from Santa’, and the nostalgia of it always makes her smile. So, against her better judgment, she ventures out to the closest Sobeys. She has her jacket and scarf pulled tightly around her, unwilling to admit to herself she really can’t take the cold anymore, but mostly wanting to hide to be in and out as quickly as possible.

She grabs a cart on her way in the store, unlocking her phone and holding it open in front of her, eyes sweeping across the list her mother had sent her with. It isn’t terribly long, thankfully. She makes quick work of grabbing what she needs, moving down the aisles long ago committed to memory with ease. Various other things get tossed into the cart as she moves: chocolate covered pretzels, a case of Diet Coke, her favorite cheese crackers.

When she reaches the wine aisle, she shrugs to herself, deciding it’ll be best to have some on hand, in case of an emergency. She grabs a bottle of Roscato for her mom, and two bottles of cab for herself. Once they’re safely in the cart, she makes her way to the checkout line. There’s quite a few people crowded there, and she tries to maneuver around to a shorter line, her brow furrowing when she spots a rather large looking man a few feet in front of her.

As she gets closer, realization washes over her. “Nathan MacKinnon,” she stops in her tracks, heart swooping in her chest. “As I live and breathe.” It comes out before she really even processes what’s happening.

He turns, almost as if in slow motion, his eyes widening when they land on her. “My god, it’s been ages. What are you doing here?”

She smiles slightly, suddenly hyper aware of how messy her hair is, and the fact that she hadn’t tried very hard when getting dressed this morning. “Could ask you the same thing. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you home for Christmas.” She knows for a fact she hasn’t. It was the one reprieve of being back in Cole Harbour - Nate was never here.

“Yeah, I’m usually not,” he shrugs. “I uh, you know with the year as crazy as it’s been, and the season being pushed, I’ve actually been home most of the year. Hanging out with Andy, Sid, Jack, Pete...” There’s a longing look on his face, mirroring the ache she knows is lingering in his chest. There’s an identical one inside of her, and she knows she’s to blame for the pain Nate’s dealing with. This wasn’t a particularly easy run in for either of them, but it’s almost refreshing in a way? She doesn’t care about the buddies he’s spending his time with, she would’ve asked if she did, but it’s obviously important to Nate she know, and she doesn’t want to read too much into that. Maybe he wants her to know he’s not spending time with another girl, and she hates that part of her is hopeful because of that but it’s not fair to be. She can’t expect him to stay single forever, simply because being here and seeing him has every feeling she’s ever felt for him rushing back.

“Sounds like you’ve been busy,” she laughs. “I’m really glad I ran into you.” There’s a surprising amount of truth to that. God, it’s been almost eight years since she’s seen Nate, even in passing, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t followed his career. She’s from Canada for Christ’s sake, of course she follows hockey.

“I am too,” Nate grins. “Hey, you should come by later. There’s a few people coming over, no one you hate,” he raised his eyebrows and she can’t help but laugh. “No expectations, just drinking and fun. It would be nice to catch up.”

Without hesitation, she’s blurting out, “I would love that.”

“Great!” Nate exclaims. She can practically see him center himself in that moment, try to keep it together.

“I’m staying at my parents’ house,” she offers. Though I would much rather be with you, her mind continues, and she shakes her head to try to clear it. “Are you still two doors down?”

Nate reaches a hand up, rubbing the back of his hand awkwardly. “Nah, I bought a house when I signed with the Avs. It’s a bigger one, out on Albany Terrace. I think you’ll like it.”

She smiles brightly. “I’m excited to see it.”

“Yeah?” Nate mutters.

“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it.”

“I’ll text you the address,” he offers. “Guess that means you have to give me your number.”

___

She makes a substantial effort to not show up right at 8 pm. It’s difficult, as she’s been a compulsively early person her whole life, but this time it feels necessary to be “fashionably late”. It helps that she fusses with what to wear for over thirty minutes- this shouldn’t be a big deal, and she doesn’t want it to be, but that doesn’t change the anxiety that’s swelling in her chest. She tells herself this isn’t anything to stress, it’s just catching up with an old friend and if things are awkward, she can always leave. Still, as she pulls up to Nate’s house, she realizes there’s a part of her that’s a tiny bit excited.

She takes in a slow breath as she kills the engine, nodding to herself as she climbs out of the car and heads up the walkway. She’s clutching a bottle of Jack Daniels in her left hand, never showing up empty handed instilled in her at a young age. She rings the doorbell, glancing around curiously as she waits. Her heart is pounding, and she’s ready to turn and bolt back to her car when the door swings open.

Nate’s standing in front of her, a soft smile on his face. She lets her eyes sweep over him, admiring the beige cable knit sweater straining over his shoulders. He looks so relaxed, so incredibly casual. “Hey! So glad you made it. Come in.” He steps aside, closing the door behind her. “That a bottle of Jack?” She can’t do anything but nod, holding it out to him wordlessly. “You haven’t changed a bit,” he laughs. “Everyone’s in the living room. There’s food in the kitchen if you’re hungry.”

Nate leads the way through the house, stopping briefly in the living room on his way to the kitchen. “Hey guys!”

She peers around him, relieved to see there really wasn’t anyone she hated in attendance. Pete, who she's known her whole life and his girlfriend Hannah are first to greet her, ushering her to sit beside them.

“Hey squirt, it’s been ages,” Pete teases.

“You forget I’m older than you,” She laughs. “But yeah, it’s been a long time.”

“Where are you living now?” Hannah asks.

“Florida. Been there for almost five years.” She falls quiet then, eyes glancing at where Nate is still standing.

He fidgets, and clears his throat. “I’m gonna grab a drink.” With that, he disappears around the corner, and she’s left to slump into the couch.

For a while, she mostly listens to Pete talk about his job, or the crappy apartment Hannah’s parents are begging them to move out of. It’s only a matter of time until they end up engaged, she knows, and she’s happy they’ve found happiness. It does little to help her feel like less of a leper, though. As soon as she’s able to find a break in their one-sided conversation, she jumps on it, taking the opportunity to disappear into the kitchen. Nate’s on one of the other couches, talking to Andy about getting a Call of Duty game going, and that’ll be enough to keep him occupied for hours. No chance he’ll notice her absence until she can figure out what the hell she was thinking showing up here tonight.

She heads straight for the freezer when she enters the kitchen, pulling out the bottle of Jack, and grabbing a solo cup laid out on the counter. She drops a handful of ice into the cup, followed shortly after by a hefty pour of the dark liquid. She brings the cup to her lips after taking a long drink.

“Jack on the rocks, eh?” A voice behind her asks.

“‘Tis the damn season,” she mutters, turning to spot Sidney Crosby leaning against the doorframe. She raises her cup to him, taking another long drink.

He lets out a honking laugh, eyes sparkling. “It’s nice to see you again.”

She quirks an eyebrow, “didn’t really think you’d remember me, to be honest.” She had only encountered Sidney a handful of times, and she never thought she’d left much of an impression. Truth be told, she was always a little star struck around him- it was hard not to be.

He furrows his brow, frowning. “Come on, I met you a bunch of times when you lived in Pennsylvania. And Nate talked about you nonstop when you were-“ he trails off, shrugging.

“Pen pals?” She offers. She can tell Sidney doesn’t see it as bitter. There’s a sadness in her voice she probably won’t ever be able to shake when she’s talking about Nate.

He shakes his head, but doesn’t push her, thank god. Instead, he steps into the kitchen, pours himself a cup of Jack on rocks, and clinks his cup against hers. “Here’s to escaping hometowns,” he toasts.

She grins. She takes another long drink, frowning at her cup when she realizes it’s nearing empty. “I think I may get drunk tonight, Sidney.”

He offers her the bottle, “I’m with you. Let’s do it.”

Surprisingly enough, Sidney Crosby is the one to save her from the awkwardness of the evening. True to his word, he does stay in the kitchen and drink with her. They talk about everything from Sid’s most recent cup wins to why on earth she decided Florida was a good place for her to settle down. They tread very carefully on any conversation that can take a turn to Nate, and she’s thankful Sidney read the room. He’s quite fun to be around once you chip away the exterior and he lets his guard down. They relocate to the table in the corner, and keep the bottle of Jack between the two of them, both casually refilling their cups as the night wears on.

When the bottle is almost empty and she can feel her head swimming, she jumps at the sound of another person entering the kitchen. “Ah, this is where you’ve been hiding.” Nate takes the seat beside her at the table, his leg bumping against hers as he maneuvers his chair. “Should’ve known you’d ditch me for Crosby.”

Opposite them, Sidney snorts. “Nah, just needed a drinking buddy, is all.”

“Sid is surprisingly good at drinking Jack,” she offers.

“Yeah?” Nate grins. “Seems like you’re pretty good too. Have you eaten anything?”

She taps her finger against her lips, considering, before shaking her head dramatically. “Nope.”

“Maybe we should fix that...”

Again, she shakes her head. “No room for food. Just alcohol.”

Nate smiles at her, and even in the haze of the alcohol, she feels her heart warm. It’s that same fond smile she’d loved so much when they were together, and she knows she can’t let her mind run away from her, but at the moment, she can’t rationalize why that’s the case. “In that case, let me break out the good stuff.” He stands up, heading to the cabinet above his stove. There, he grabs a fancier looking bottle, a dark brown liquid sloshing around as he carries it over to the table. “Crown Royal XR, so you never forget where you came from.” He takes the liberty of pouring her and Sid a glass before fixing one for himself, and reclaiming his seat.

She sniffs the liquid in the cup, eyes widening. “Ooof.”

“Don’t quit on me now,” Sid goads. He nudges her with his elbow, giggling.

She shakes her head adamantly. “Momma didn’t raise a quitter,” she announces. She raises her glass, waiting as Nate and Sid follow suit. “Here’s to Cole Harbour’s golden boys.” She sees Nate roll his eyes, but he’s smiling when he brings his glass to his lips.

She takes a long drink, her tongue flicking out to lick her lips. “Oh, that is really smooth.”

“Everything’s better when it’s Canadian,” Sid pipes up.

She giggles at this, which makes Nate quirk an eyebrow. “There’s no arguing that point, Florida.”

“Come on, Florida isn’t that bad,” she insists.

Nate looks to Sid, then back to her, shrugging. “The fact that you have to say it that way doesn’t help your case.”

“It doesn’t snow there!”

“Boo,” Sid says.

“How do you even survive without hockey down there?” Nate adds.

“Shut up, there’s hockey! My friend Nick would argue Tampa is a huge hockey town. Wait- oh my god!” She cuts herself off, looking around excitedly. She pats the pockets of her pants, pulling a face when she can’t find her phone.

“What are you doing?” There’s a distinct amusement in Nate’s voice.

“Where’s my phone? I wanna FaceTime Nick. He always gives me shit about knowing y’all. He pretends he doesn’t believe me because he’s never met you, so somehow that means I haven’t? I don’t even know...”

“Nick your boyfriend?” Nate grumbles, voice low.

She just snorts out a laugh, and takes her phone when Sidney slides it over to her. She clicks around on it for a second, then the distinct sound of a FaceTime call fills the room. She drums her fingers against the table impatiently, eyes lighting up when the line clicks on.

“Hey!” An excited voice fills the room.

“Hey Nick! What’re you up to?” She keeps the phone close to her, keeping Nate and Sid out of the frame.

“Well, it’s almost one in the morning on winter break so obviously I’m drunk with Garrett.”

“Tell him I said hi,” she insists.

“Sure. What’re you doing?”

Her eyes light up again, and she grabs her glass excitedly. “I’m also drunk, but I wanted to show you who I happen to be drunk with.” She downs the rest of the liquid in her glass and slides her phone back farther on the table, angling the camera to capture all three of them in the frame. “I give you Nate MacKinnon and Sidney Crosby.”

“Holy shit. That’s- fucking hell, that’s actually Sidney Crosby!”

She chuckles, turning the phone to face Sid and he waves awkwardly. “I told you, you don’t grow up in Cole Harbour without knowing the pride and joy of the city.”

“But you said you’d only met him a few times! And Nate MacKinnon too, what the fuck...”

“In the flesh. Oh, and Nate wanted to know if you were my boyfriend before I called.” She peers over at him, watching his cheeks flush pink. He opens his mouth to protest, but Nick quickly cuts him off.

He laughs, shaking his head. “Just one of my best friends, dude. You have my blessing. I know she would love to date a hockey player.”

“Yeah? Good to know.” Nate smirks.

“On that note, we’re going back to drinking now. Just wanted to humble brag real quick.” She flashes a toothy grin. “I’ll make them get dinner next time they’re in Tampa. Maybe you and the whole crew can come along.”

“Yes, totally! Have fun! Merry Christmas!” She wishes him a Merry Christmas back, and she’s ending the call, she hears Nick muttering to Garrett: ‘yes that was Sidney fucking Crosby’. She drops her phone down onto the table then, glancing over at Nate expectantly.

“So that’s Nick, my not boyfriend. He’s a big Lightning fan, and he hates the Penguins.”

“Charming,” Sid laughs. “Seems nice though.”

“Nick’s the best,” she agrees. “He and Danielle get me through living in Florida.”

“Ah, so you do admit Florida sucks?” Nate presses. He offers her another drink, and she nods eagerly. When her glass is full, he raises his to her. “Fuck Florida.” She taps hers against his, smiling widely.

“Fuck Florida, indeed.”

___

Another hour slips by as the three of them sit in the kitchen. The rest of Nate’s house is quiet, save for the inevitable hockey talk they’ve slipped into. Nate’s sobered during their time sitting there, his attention focused mostly on her and her half hearted responses. Poor girl is exhausted.

“Time for me to head out,” Sidney mutters. He pushes his chair back from the table, clapping a hand on Nate’s shoulder. “Uber’s outside. Thanks for having me, Nate. Nice catching up with you.”

“Bye Sid!” she brightens up, waving her fingers as he giggles and heads out the door. “Then there were two.”

“Sure I can’t interest you in some food?” Nate offers.

She shakes her head adamantly, eyes glossy, head swimming. “No, I told you... no room for food.” She rests her arms on the table, dropping her head down on top of them and peering up at Nate curiously.

He chuckles, resting a hand on her elbow. “Okay, time to get you home.”

She pulls a face, nose scrunching up in disgust. “Naaaate,” she draws out, “no.”

“Come on,” he laughs. “I’ll even tuck you in.”

She narrows her eyes at him, still frowning, “you promise?”

“Cross my heart.” He offers her his hand as he stands, helping her to her feet as soon as she agrees. He hooks her arm through his when she sways, trying to keep her steady on her feet. “I’ve got you.”

It takes some maneuvering, and a lot of patience on Nate’s part, but eventually, he’s able to get her into the front seat of his truck. He buckles her seatbelt for her when he slides behind the wheel, starting the car as she starts complaining about how uncomfortable his seats are.

“Good thing your parents live less than three minutes from here, huh?” He teases. He glances at her out of the corner of his eye, seeing her head slumped back against the headrest.

She’s quiet for a long time, and he has to tear his eyes from the road to make sure she hasn’t fallen asleep. When he does, he catches her gaze. “Nathan?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry.” She mumbles.

“You don-“

She shakes her head, eyes squeezed shut. “No, Nathan, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I walked out I just- fuck, I didn’t want to be a WAG. I didn’t want hockey above all else, always. It wasn’t fair for me to do that.”

He’s quiet, hand gripping the wheel a little tighter. “Well, it wasn’t fair of me to make you feel like that would be your reality.” He hesitates, taking a slow, deep breath. After a moment, he nods to himself. “We can call it even.”

He offers her a shy smile, and she can’t stop herself from returning it. She unhooks her seatbelt and slides closer to him on the bench, resting her head against his shoulder. “Deal. Thank you, Mack.”

___

When they arrive at her parents’ house, Nate kills the engine and lets out a sigh. “Come on. Let’s get you inside.” She groans, but sits up straight.

“Fine,” she grumbles. She pushes the door open hastily, climbing out and crosses her arms over her chest. Nate simply shakes his head, taking her arm again and leading her up the pathway carefully. He knows it’s icy, and the last thing they need is the both of them to eat shit.

As soon as they reach the front door, Nate shushes her, trying to remain as quiet as possible while he pulls out the spare key from beneath the mat. He’s done this countless times before, and truly, it never gets any easier.

“Mack, remember when you tried to sneak me in drunk right before you left for juniors?” She laughs. She just giggles even louder when he presses a finger to his lips, eyes pleading. “You always take care of me.”

“I know, shhhh. I always will. We’ve gotta get inside.” Moments later, Nate gets the door open, tugging her across the threshold. He pulls the door shut as quietly as possible before glancing up, spotting her parents in the living room, sitting on couches reading. “Hi guys,” he sighs.

“Nate,” her mom smiles. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too. Sorry about this.. She was drinking with Sid and I didn’t want her driving-“

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here,” she whines. “I’m perfectly fine, Nathan.”

Her dad gives him a knowing look, chuckling. “Thanks, son.”

“Lucky to have you around, Nate,” her mom adds. “You know the way.”

He nods, tugging on her arm to lead her up the stairs to her childhood bedroom. She grumbles the entire way, complaining about being “too tired to see” or “everything’s spinning, I’m going to die”. Nate can’t contain his laughter, which only seems to frustrate her more. She glares at him when she finally gets the door to her room open, kicking her shoes off by the door and flopping down onto her bed in a huff. “Who let me drink me so much,” she groans.

“That would be Sid,” Nate leans against the doorframe, crossing his arms over his chest.

“He’s an enabler.” She lifts her head up, peering at him thoughtfully. “I was afraid to talk to you tonight,” she admits. “And he supported my stupidity to try to make me feel better. At least his heart is in the right place.”

Nate’s brown furrows. “Why would you be afraid to talk to me?”

She pushes herself up into a seated position, crossing her legs underneath her. “A tiny screen’s the only place I see you now.” Her voice is low, eyes cast downward. “I don’t know what we have in common anymore, or if you’d even want to talk to me.”

“Hey,” Nate says, pushing himself off the doorframe and stepping into the room. Two strides bring him over to the bed, and he sits beside her, craning his neck down to catch her eye. “I asked you to come over because I did want to talk to you. Do.” He hesitates, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t know why but I never expected to run into you, and when I did, all I could think about was reconnecting and... I don’t know, being friendly again? There’s a pretty big you shaped hole in my life.”

She looks at him, eyes sweeping over every last detail of his face. She wants to blame the alcohol for how attractive she finds him in that moment, but she knows she can’t. Nate has always been gorgeous, and their time growing, apart, has only increased that. “I’ve got a big Nate Mack hole too,” she admits.

Without wavering, he reaches out and rests his hand on hers, rubbing his thumb across the smooth skin there. “Tomorrow, then. I’m coming by with breakfast and we’re gonna play pond puck.”

She can’t help the groan that falls from her lips. “I’m going to be far too hungover to be on skates tomorrow.”

“Should’ve thought of that before you drank half a bottle of Jack,” he grins. “Night.”

___

True to his word, Nate does come by first thing in the morning. She crawls out of bed at the sound of laughter down the stairs, wincing when the light hits her eyes. She manages to pull herself together to look somewhat presentable, though her headache is enough to have her debating hiding under the covers for the day.

“Oh, look who’s up!” Her dad teases. He’s sitting opposite Nate at the kitchen table, reading the paper like this is the most normal thing in the world.

“Morning sleeping beauty,” Nate laughs. “I brought Timmies.”

“Black?” She mutters, reaching for the cup gratefully. He nods. “Not iced, but I guess I’ll live. Thanks.”

Nate rolls his eyes, bringing his own cup to his lips and taking a long drink. “We gotta get you out of America. Not iced, pft,” he scoffs.

“Nate’s got a point, kid. You’re barely a Canadian anymore.”

She gives him a pointed look. “I didn’t hear you and mom complaining in Florida in January last year.”

Her dad grins. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing.”

“Yeah, sure,” she smiles.

“You hungry at all?” Nate asks.

“Just coffee for me,” she raises her cup to him.

“Alright. Should we get going then?”

“A heroic return to my pond puck career,” she jokes. “Should be great with this hangover.”

Her dad laughs loudly, shaking his head. “Don’t let her fall through the ice, Nate.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He flashes a winning smile as he gestures for her to head out the door in front of him. “Your dad was thrilled to help me find your old skates in the garage this morning,” he tells her as they climb into his truck.

She rests her head against the cold window, eyes shut. “Of course he was.”

“It was nice to see them again,” he says quietly. “I always really liked your parents.”

“Good thing, they love you.” And it’s completely true. To this day, her mother still asks her about Nate. What’s he up to, if he’s seeing anyone... it would be sweet if it wasn’t so painful for her to have to relive every time she brings it up. Her dad is thankfully more subtle- they really only talk about Nate when hockey comes up. Of course they both keep tabs on the Avs, and it’s a common ground that is far more exhaustive than her job that her dad doesn’t really understand anyway. All in all, yes, her parents do love Nate, which made their break up that much harder.

Nate doesn’t respond; her words linger in the air like a bad perfume. There’s a kind of expectation to them, a dare to explore what that means and how it makes either of them feel. Thankfully, Nate pulls his truck off the road before they have to broach the subject. Just ahead of them, there’s a frozen pond, a couple of trash cans tipped over on either side to use as makeshift goals. It’s the same pond they’d played on as kids, hours spent skating and laughing together. It brings back a melancholic feeling, one that seems to sit in her chest when she follows Nate’s lead and climbs out of the car. He hands her her skates and a stick when they start walking, eyes focused on the snow beneath their feet.

She laces up her skates silently, glancing over at Nate every so often. He looks like he wants to say something, but just isn’t sure where to begin. She tries no to dwell on it, and instead let herself have a good time today. It’s been a long time since she’s had the chance to skate.

She uses the stick Nate handed her to help stand and steps out onto the ice, skates wobbling as she tries to get her bearings.

“Looking a little rusty there, Gretz,” Nate teases.

“Oh shut up,” she groans. It takes her a minute, but before long, she finds her comfort on skates again. It’s second nature, something she knows she will never forget how to do. “It’s just been a while.”

“Nowhere to skate in the sunshine state, eh?” He skates around her in a circle, turning around and skating backwards so he can face her. “What could possibly make you want to stay there?”

She gives a half shrug. “My life is there.”

Nate nods. “Right. Your job, your not boyfriend...” The smile on his face suggests he’s kidding, but she can see something behind his eyes.

“Nate...” there’s a warning in her voice.

He holds a hand up in defense. “Sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it, I just... what do you?”

“I’m a counselor,” she tells him. She chuckles when he purses his lips, clearly having no idea what that entails. “It’s supposed to be a mental health professional in the schools - someone to help students short term, refer out for bigger issues, teach social emotional skills. I’m just a glorified secretary at this point.”

He narrows his eyes, considering her. “I don’t believe that. You’re too good.”

She lets out a long sigh. “No, it’s true. Nothing I do actually helps anyone, and the one girl I did have a good relationship with, I was too busy to help this year. So she’ll never come back to talk to me now. I’m always a month behind and I don’t know-“ she lets her voice trail off, feeling her eyes sting as they fill with tears. It never hits her like this until she says it out loud, but it’s so alarming to lose your passion. She’s content, but she’s not happy, and it’s hard to feel like she didn’t make a huge mistake with her choices in life.

Nate stops suddenly, causing her to slam right into him. He reaches out and grabs her shoulders, keeping her upright. “Hey,” he coos, “I’m sure she’ll come back to talk to you. This year is unlike anything anyone has ever seen. I’m sure a lot of this is stress.”

This seems to open the flood gates, and against her better judgment, she feels hot tears start streaming down her cheeks. It only makes her cheeks more cold, and she curses under her breath. “I think I messed up, Nate. Florida, counseling, what if it was all a mistake?” She shakes her head, dropping it down to stare at their feet.

Nate reaches out, tilting her chin up with one finger. “Then you make a change. Find out how to be happy again, and go after it.” His hand slides up to cup her cheek, warm fingers wiping away her tears. “You’re incredible. If you made a mistake, that’s fine. Regroup, move past it.”

Her breath hitches, eyes locking with his. She can feel a smile tugging at her lips, her heart warming at his words. It’s an incredible feeling to be validated like this, to know her concerns aren’t ridiculous and she’s not an utter failure for rethinking every decision that’s brought her to this point. It’s tenfold now, standing so close to Nate, her heart beating wildly in her chest. “Nate, I-“

“I believe in second chances,” he tells her. His voice is barely above a whisper now, the rasp sending a tingle up her spine. She can hear the unspoken words behind it, I believe in you, and I believe in us. Maybe it’s wishful thinking, but with the way he’s looking at her right now, it’s hard to take it any other way. Maybe she could let herself do this - love again, put her faith in him.

There’s nothing she wants more than to be able to give in, melt into his arms and tell him it was all wrong, but they can fix it now. With his bright blue eyes shining the way they are, she even lets part of herself believe that.

It’s the other, realistic part of her that holds her back. The what ifs and rational thinking of distance and time zones and years past rearing their ugly head. The fear of getting hurt again, or hurting him. There’s just too much to consider, too many sacrifices to ask of any one person.

“I want to believe in them too,” she admits. “But-”

Her eyes tell him everything she’s too afraid to. He inhales sharply, nodding once. “I understand. I won’t push you.” His fingertips brush across her cheeks gently before he drops his hand to his side. A sad sigh falls past his lips, and before he can move to skate away, she’s grabbing his forearm and gripping it tightly.

“We’ll play for it,” she blurts, mostly in an attempt to keep him from walking away.

Nate’s eyes snap up. “What are you talking about?”

“We’ll play each other. Pond puck. And I’ll be yours for the weekend.”

“If who wins?”

“Either of us.” Her hesitance is clear as day on her face, the anxiety swirling in her stomach. Maybe she’s being ridiculous, childlike even, but this is the only way she can give her heart what it wants without giving up her entire life. Albeit how appealing that road looks at the moment.

Gaze narrowing, he purses his lips in consideration. “You’re saying no strings?”

She nods, “I’m saying I won’t ask you to wait for me, if you don’t ask me to stay.”

“So a one night stand?”

Her head shakes slowly, teeth worrying at her lower lip. “No. I want the weekend with you in our own little bubble. I want to ignore reality and just… be.”

“I think we need terms for this,” Nate says. “What’s off limits, what isn’t.”

“Of course,” she agrees. “What you’re comfortable with.”

“If you win, big if, I’m yours for the weekend. You can call the shots; anything you want to do. Fair?” When she agrees, he cracks a small smile. “Great. When I win, you’re mine for the weekend. I’ll call the shots.”

“Sounds reasonable-”

“One more thing,” he cuts in. “You can’t break my heart.”

His words hang heavy between them, shifting the atmosphere. This feels like a contingency meant for more than just the weekend. It makes her chest ache to think about it, but Nate’s speaking again before she can get a word in edgewise. “Alright,” he pulls a puck out of his back pocket, holding it out between them. “First to three, yeah?”

He’s courteous enough to wait for her to get her bearings, both hands on her stick, knees bent, before he drops the puck between them. He taps it a few times with his stick, moving in slow circles. He pauses when they’re face to face again, leaning forward. “I’ll let you have first go.”

“Don’t go easy on me, Dogg,” she teases. “I’m tough. I can take it.” She mirrors his stance, leaning over the puck with her hands spread wide on the stick.

“Game on, babe.” She sweeps her stick over his, cursing under breath when he swipes the puck away from her. He carries it on his stick across the ice, avoiding her attempted checks and steals as he goes. Eventually, she abandons that tactic, instead racing ahead of him and turning to defend the “goal”. She keeps her stick down, watching his eyes to try to read his play. He fakes left, moves right, stopping on a dime as he throws ice across her shins. She blinks and the puck is slamming around in the can, Nate throwing his arms in celebration.

“One down,” he gloats.

She rolls her eyes, flicking the puck out at him. It skids to a stop in front of his skates, and she heads back to center ice, knowing he won’t be far behind. By some miracle, she’s able to gain possession of the puck in the faceoff, doing her best to get a jump on him and head down the ice. In an instant, he’s right behind her, stick held out in front of her, attempting to poke check it away. When she shifts, Nate checks into her from the side, nearly sending her tumbling on the ice. “Okay Mr. Lady Byng,” she laughs.

Nate simply grins at her, taking off after the puck and keeping it a distance away from her ahead of him. Effortlessly, he sends the puck sailing into the trash can, turning around to face her with an even cockier grin. “Not looking too good for you.”

“You’re a cheater,” she mumbles, retrieving the puck and gliding over to center ice. She keeps it in her hand as Nate eyes her, his gaze dragging slowly from her skates to the top of her head. “What?”

He shakes his head, jutting his chin out. “I don’t cheat.” He hunches over his stick, waiting for her to crouch into the same position and drop the puck. The intensity that emanates from him is palpable, his bated breath, clenched teeth only adding to the stakes. When the puck falls from her hand, it’s like time slows down. There’s a frigid breeze across her cheeks, blowing her hair back over her shoulders - the puck clattering against the ice once, twice, before it’s flat and they’re both springing into action. Their sticks collide as they sweep them, neither making contact with the puck at first.

It’s Nate who comes up victorious from the faceoff, stickhandling it until he’s able to turn his back to her. She knows he’s far too advanced for her to out play - his skills are unmatched, so she opts for playing a little dirty, using her own skills to her advantage. When Nate fakes and moves left, she positions herself there, right in front of him. All the air whooshes out of her as they collide, his shoulder pressed against her chest. The startled expression on his face makes her crack a grin, and he’s distracted enough by the move to let her gain possession. Once it’s on her stick, she takes off down the ice in the other direction, keeping the puck out in front of her. She can feel Nate hot on her tail, attempting to swat the puck free, knock her off balance. Her eyes stay fixed to the trash can, and she doesn’t hesitate - just slaps the puck as hard as she can. The bang that rings out echoes through the quiet, and she glances over her shoulder, flashing Nate a triumphant smile.

“Two-one now,” she points out. It’s a ridiculous thing to try to boast about, but it very clearly pushes Nate’s buttons. She’s never known a single person to be more competitive, and it’s admittedly fun to draw that side out of him every now and again.

She can tell she’s struck the nerve when Nate gets huffy, his nostrils flaring as he rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah,” he grumbles. “Just get ready for the faceoff.” He reaches down to scoop the puck out of the can, quickly following her back to center ice and watching her get situated. Seconds pass in silence until they’re both ready, and Nate drops the puck.

It’s a hard-fought battle from the moment the puck hits the ice. Nate jumps into action, immediately getting his blade down, trying to gain control. But she doesn’t concede to him as easily this time. She bends her knees a little further, using her body to shove against his side, trying to throw him off. When he chances a look at her, she swats at the puck, nearly situating it on her own stick. Nate chuckles, shifts his weight to his other foot, and steals the puck back. The movement throws her a little off balance, and she reaches out for him on instinct, hand gripping the fabric covering his shoulder tightly. She tugs at it to keep herself upright, ignoring his half hearted scoff when it knocks him away from the puck slightly. Within seconds he rights himself, tearing down the ice toward the goal. He’s impossibly fast, and she knows there’s no catching up to him, so the resounding “clang” of the puck hitting the metal comes as no surprise.

When she lifts her gaze, she immediately spots a grinning Nate skating over to her. The corners of his eyes crinkle in delight. “That’s game,” he breathes as he skids to a stop, throwing snow across her shins. Breath hitching as she draws her eyes up to his face, she notices Nate is so close. Closer than he’s been to her in years, and heart is pounding in her chest. With a clatter, he drops his stick to the ice, tossing his gloves down beside it. Now bare-handed, he reaches up, brushing her hair back off her shoulder. The cold air bites against the skin of her cheek for just a moment before his hand is there, big and warm and so soft. “I call the shots, right?” His voice is barely above a whisper, but her eyes are zeroed in on his lips. His tongue flicks out to wet them after a brief nod of her head, and something in her brain short circuits. Drawing in a shaky breath, she holds it as Nate leans in, lips brushing against hers gently, tentative. On their own accord, her hands are flying up to grip his shoulders, her legs suddenly weak.

The kiss is over almost as soon as it’s started, and it leaves her breathless, eyes blinking open slowly. All she can focus on is the small smile that appears on Nate’s lips, and the deep blue of his eyes.

“Do you have plans later?” Nate mutters.

“No.”

There’s that blinding grin again. “Good.” He leans in, pressing a soft little kiss to the side of her mouth, barely inches from her parted lips. “I’m picking you up at seven.”

___

“Where are we going Nate?” She asks, eyes narrowed. They’re sitting side by side in his truck, driving mostly in silence to their unknown destination. His earlier text was cryptic, merely telling her to dress warmly with a smiley emoji. It’s out of character for him, but mostly she’s surprised he seems to want to be spending time outside. In December. In Canada. Sure it’s been warmer than in past years, but when the sun drops, they’re lucky to be breaking twenty degrees Fahrenheit.

“It’s a surprise,” he says. A small smirk dances across his lips, eyes seeming to sparkle with mischief. He knows how much she hates not knowing, but she understands he’s trying to do something fun too. So she sucks in a deep breath and lets it out slowly, shifting her focus to the road in front of them. “You’ll like it,” he promises. There’s the tiniest hint of uncertainty there, a hesitation that tells her he’s just as nervous and confused about everything as she is. Do they know what the other likes anymore? How much has changed?

“I’m sure I will,” she insists.

They drive in comfortable silence, the low hum of Nate’s truck the only sound filling the air. When she chances a glance at him, she’s met with his calm expression, the familiar curve of his nose, his pursed lips. His concentration is clear as day, and she can’t quite place why it’s so endearing.

Thankfully, she doesn’t have much time to dwell on it. He drives about twenty feet more before he’s pulling off the main road. Immediately, they’re both bouncing on their seats, the uneven terrain jerking them back and forth. Just as she opens her mouth to ask him what’s happening, Nate puts the car in park and kills the engine. Wordlessly, he opens his door, stepping around the truck quickly to pull hers open for her. He holds a hand out to her to help her step down, and keeps a firm hold on it when she’s safely on the ground.

“Nate?” She says finally, head cocked in confusion. They’re parked in the middle of an open field, nothing but trees and the setting sun around them. It’ll be dark soon, and she’s not exactly sure what she should be expecting. “What-“

“Trust me,” he cuts in. He smiles at her when she nods, then leads her toward the back of his truck. He lowers the tailgate with his free hand, then reaches for a handle on the cover. His grip finally drops as he clicks the handle into place and walks the cover back toward the cab. Inside it, pillows and blankets cover the bed of the truck, a Yeti cooler stashed into the corner. When she catches his eye again, he’s sheepish, a bashful smile on his face. “I thought it’d be nice to just sit under the stars for a while.”

“Nathan…” it comes out in a sigh, and she’s thankful for the darkening sky that’s hiding her growing smile. She knows it’ll instantly give away how smitten she is, and that’s a conversation she’s not quite ready to have yet.

“Is it okay?” The hesitation in his voice has her jumping to reassure him.

“Yes, yes it’s perfect,” she rushes.

He dips his chin in a nod. “Let’s get you up then.” He doesn’t wait for her to respond, or really even process his comment before he steps over to her, lifting her easily around the waist and hoisting her up. As soon as her feet are planted in his truck, he gives her a little nudge forward, and climbs in after her. “Sit, make yourself comfortable,” he insists. He busies himself pulling out a flashlight, flicking it on and sitting it in the middle of the truck bed. Next, he’s grabbing food out of his cooler, placing them gingerly beside the flashlight. She merely watches in awe as item after item is taken out: plates, forks, glasses, crackers, cheese, wine, fruits. He’d thought of everything.

“It’s not a meal,” he reasons, “but I figured it’s better than nothing.” He produces a corkscrew from his pocket, then sets in on getting the wine bottle open.

“Nate, it’s wonderful,” she insists. She takes the stemless wine glass as he hands it to her, smiling softly. “Though I’m a little surprised to see you willingly eating carbs and drinking alcohol.” She cracks a grin when he rolls his eyes, making a show of bringing his glass up and taking a large gulp.

“Et tu?” Nate groans, dragging his free hand through his hair.

“I’m just messing with you.”

“You’ve read all the articles, then? Keeping tabs on me?” He lifts his eyebrows suggestively.

“Something like that.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

“Nathan.” Her expression is hard, a no nonsense frown on her face. “You do not disappoint anyone.”

He sighs, and passes her a plate of various snacks, keeping his eyes on his hands. “I don’t know how true that is.”

“I do. You’re being hard on yourself.”

He considers for a moment, shrugging. “Maybe. But I need to be. It keeps me disciplined.”

She scoffs, rolling her eyes before popping a cut piece of fruit into her mouth. “I don’t think you need help in that department.”

“I started seeing a sports psychologist,” he mumbles. It catches her off guard, his admission, but it fills her with pride all the same. The Nate she knew before never would’ve taken that step, and he certainly wouldn’t have told anyone about it. That’s growth.

“How’s that been?”

“I like it. Kinda helps me take a step back from things and visualize what I want and how to get there.” He hesitates, opening his mouth before closing it quickly.

“Sounds like there’s a but there?”

“But I don’t know that it's enough.”

“In what way? Like you need more help with your mental health?”

He scrunches his nose. “No, I guess with hockey and stuff. It just-“ he cuts himself off with a sigh. “It feels like I’ve put in the work, and have gotten no results.”

“Because you haven’t won shit?” She offers. She cracks a grin when Nate looks up at her, expression blank. This only serves to make her giggle, and as much as she wants to blame it on the wine, she knows it’s the way Nate shakes his head and cracks a grin right alongside her.

“I haven’t won shit,” he agrees.

“You will.”

“You sound so sure.”

“Because I am.”

“Why?”

She brings her glass up, polishing off the rest of her drink and then sets the glass down. Hesitantly, she scoots forward a bit more, until her knees bump against his. His eyes draw up to hers slowly, the icy blue stealing the breath from her lungs. “Because I know you, Nathan. And you were born to do this.”

“It’s really not feeling like it these days.” There’s so much defeat in his voice it makes her chest tighten. On a whim, she reaches over and takes his hand, rubbing her thumb over his wrist slowly. “Feels more like I can’t do anything right.”

She wants desperately to reassure him, tell him his mind is wrong and playing tricks on him but she knows that isn’t what he needs. He has to navigate this himself. She can offer him support, but this is something he has to figure out on his own.

“I went first overall, I should be doing more for the team. It’s just been first or second round exits year after year. I can’t get us out of this hole.”

“It isn’t only up to you,” she reminds him. “If you feel you’re not playing up to your standards that’s one thing, but you can’t play every position. It’s not fair to entirely blame yourself.”

“Maybe not,” he shrugs. “Maybe I made a mistake with all of this.”

She frowns, eyes narrowing. “With hockey?”

He nods. “Hockey, life. I don’t know. What if I chose wrong?”

“Well, you’re preaching to the choir on that bud,” she says. She hesitates a moment, gathering herself. “For what it’s worth, I know you didn’t choose wrong. Things have been a bit bleak, sure, but you are far too talented to not share that gift with the world.”

Nate’s gaze catches hers, and she feels a shiver travel up her spine. When concern floods his features, she knows he’s felt it too. “You cold? C’mere.” He gives her no time to respond, just leans himself back against the pillows and reaches for a blanket. Once it’s situated over him, he pulls her in close against his side until her cheek is against his chest and his arm is around her back. The blanket gets tugged up to cover her too, and they lay together, cocooned in the blankets under the stars.

“Better?” Nate rasps, and truly, yes. This has made things better. Being so close to him, warm and safe - this is the first time she’s been able to take a deep breath in a long time. But she can’t admit that to him. So she gives a soft murmur in agreement and shuts her eyes to commit this moment to memory.

“I’m proud of you Nate,” she says eventually. “I know that doesn’t really help with all this, but I’m not the only one, ya know? We’re all rooting for you.” She tilts her head up, staring straight into his eyes. It makes her lose her breath, especially when he gives her a small smile.

“I appreciate how much you believe in me,” he whispers. “It does help.” He draws his fingers up slowly, tickling them against the exposed skin where her sweatshirt has ridden up. It forms goosebumps immediately, and she cuddles in even closer, out of instinct. “Being here has been like coming up for air.” He sighs, eyes softening even further. “And seeing you-“

“Nate-“

“Don’t,” he rushes. “We have an agreement, right? You’re mine for the weekend?” The hopeful expression on his face guts her, but she nods. She is. For the weekend.

“Yes,” she agrees. She tilts her chin up far enough for her nose to bump against his jaw, nuzzling it. “I don’t wanna think about after.”

“Then don’t.” He cranes his neck further, until their breath mixes. “Just be here with me.” Gently, so gently, he kisses her. It’s just a tentative brush at first, but it sets her body on fire. Within seconds, she’s hauling herself even closer to him, dropping her body over his as she deepens the kiss. She feels Nate’s big hands come up to grip her hips, keeping her close.

It’s not desperate and frenzied, but it still has her heart racing. The sweep of his tongue across the seam of her lips has her sighing, melting into him. It’s comfortable, warm and familiar, like coming home. She knows she can’t dwell on that thought, so she pours everything she can into Nate instead. Kisses him breathless, then comes back for more.

When Nate breaks away, he lets his head fall back to the pillows, a tiny grin on his face. “I’ve missed this, babe. Missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too, Nate.” She admits, to herself just as much as she does him. It feels monumental to do so, but she lets herself have this moment; snuggles closer into Nate’s arms and kisses his neck. They have the weekend, and she’s not going to ruin that.

~

Reality starts to feel a bit distorted after laying with Nate in his truck. In a way, it feels like they’re existing inside a bubble - one that gives them a taste of the road not taken. It’s addicting, with the potential to be heart wrenchingly painful if she’s not careful. But part of her knew she’d end up here. Her and Nate had been so strong before fear crept into her mind. The problem now is figuring out how, if at all, this influences her real life that she’ll be getting back to sooner rather than later.

And Nate, bless his heart, seemed to be doing everything in his power to make this as hard as possible for her. He’d taken the “I call the shots” agreement to heart, planning the entire next day for them to spend together. He arrives at her house thankfully much later in the morning than the day prior, with iced Timmy’s in tow. He leaves a dozen doughnuts and two extra coffees on the counter for her parents, flashing that heart melting smile when she insists he didn’t have to go to the trouble.

“It’s no trouble,” he insists as they’re climbing into his truck. He immediately reaches to crank the heat for her, tugging his seatbelt across his body.

“Well thank you,” she says. “What’s on the docket today?”

He eases the truck out onto the road, his tongue poking out between his lips in concentration. Only when they’re settled into the lane does Nate glance over at her. “Thought we’d drive down to Peggy’s Cove. Walk around a little bit. See the lighthouse?”

Her face lights up at the mere mention. Peggy’s Cove is about an hour from Cole Harbour, and it’s always been one of her favorite day trips. There’s something so wonderfully calming about the shoreline, at any time of year. “Sounds good to me,” she says.

She’s pleased to find how at ease she feels beside Nate on the drive down. They happily flick through radio stations, singing along completely off key. Her cheeks start to hurt from the wide smile she can’t seem to wipe off her face, all thanks to Nate. And god, what a thought that is. She’d certainly never entertained the idea of meeting up with Nate at home, nor did she think she’d find herself riding around in his truck. It feels like an alternate reality and surprisingly, the thought doesn’t put a damper on her mood. It just makes her enjoy it all the more.

Before long, Nate is pulling into a deserted parking lot along the shore. He kills the engine then looks over at her, smiling softly. “Shall we?” When she nods, Nate climbs out of the truck and races around to grab her door for her.

It’s a stunningly beautiful day, but it's freezing, even bundled up against the cold. Despite her tightly wound scarf the wind nips her cheeks harshly as soon as she closes his door. In front of them, waves are crashing against the covered rocks, a soothing symphony filling the air. There's chunks of ice floating in the water, and she shakes her head at just how picture-esque it all is. A rare blue sky day in late December, the sun breaking through the small clouds, its rays reflecting off the snow on the rocks.

Nate turns to her, offering his hand and she takes it without hesitation. His gloved fingers wrap firmly around hers, and they start to slowly walk toward, squinting to see.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been down here,” she admits. “I don’t know how I forgot how beautiful it is.”

“I’ve always loved it here,” Nate says. She glances at him, sees his pink cheeks, his hair blowing in every direction. It makes something in her chest tighten, and she squeezes his hand a little tighter. They make their way closer to the lighthouse silently, simply taking it all in.

As they approach the darker rocks, Nate stops suddenly, tugging her into him. His arms go around her shoulders, keeping her close. “This okay?” He whispers.

“Yes,” she breathes. More than okay, she wants to say. It’s touching really, that he’d drive all this way just to stand there with her and stare at a lighthouse. It’s reminiscent of the early days in their relationship, before the drama and the uncertainty, when all they needed was to be together. “Thanks for bringing me Nate.”

He hums, his cheek pressing against the side of her head. “Thanks for wanting to be here.”

She can feel that his words have a much deeper meaning behind them, though she chooses to take them at face value. It's clear they’re going to continue to dance around the obvious, even if it’s rehashing something they’d already settled on. It’s just for the weekend; there’s no realistic way it could be more and they can’t put that kind of pressure on each other. But even though all of this is true, it doesn’t change the way being with him makes her feel. It doesn’t take the warmth out of his smile, or the fondness from his eyes. So maybe she is breaking her own heart here, but what other choice does she have?

***

She and Nate spend much of their day wandering through the small fishing village. They stroll down the boardwalk, through small boutiques and touristy souvenir shops. Nate happily walks through every single open door, stopping to sign an autograph or take a photo every now and then when they happen upon another person. He has no qualms about waiting for her to browse in the bookshop, instead spending his time posted up on a comfortable chair, petting the store cat with a smile on his face.

After a late lunch at the only restaurant in town, they get back on the road, headed for Cole Harbour. Conversation in the car is light and casual, both just catching the other up on life’s nuances they haven’t been privy to in years. It’s more than just work: it’s the song that made Nate cry because it reminded him of leaving for the US when he was just a child, it’s the countless seafood meals she’s turned down in her adult life because nothing can compare to the luxuries of home. The conversation never lulls, though it does veer significantly off course when they spot the ‘welcome to Cole Harbour’ sign approaching in the distance.

“Nate, pull over!” She insists. She’s digging through her bag, ignoring his request for an explanation. After a few seconds, she emerges victorious, holding up a black marker and a piece of paper. She smoothes it out as best she can on his dashboard, then unhooks her seatbelt. “Do you have any tape?”

“What do you need tape for?” Nate asks. He earns himself a pointed look, one that says ‘don’t ask questions’. He sighs, then flips open the center console. “I think I have some stick tape lying around…”

While he tracks that down, she gets to work writing, keeping her arm strategically placed so he can’t glance over her shoulder to sneak a peek. Just a few seconds later, he’s setting the tape down next to her hand and looking at her expectantly. “What are you doing?”

“You’ll see,” she grins. She picks up her sign and the tape, opens the door to his truck and hops down onto the road. It's not very busy, thankfully, but Nate is immediately concerned all the same.

He calls out her name, quickly following after her as she walks. “You can’t just get out of the car on a main road and walk away,” he insists, but she’s not listening to him. She’s still making her way forward, toward the welcome sign and the townline. Once she’s standing in front of it, he watches as she pulls up the tape, ripping it with her teeth. The piece of paper is held against the welcome sign, then secured with tape, and she steps back with a satisfied smile on her face. The writing doesn’t become clear until Nate is standing beside her, and once it does, he bursts into laughter.

Attached to the bottom of the sign, where it reads ‘Home of Sidney Crosby’, she’d taped up her own: “and Nathan MacKinnnon”.

“I’ll have to get a proper one commissioned, but I thought this would do for now,” she grins. As she locks eyes with Nate, she feels her heart start racing. He seems happy, but she doesn’t want to assume he’s not just saving face and she’s made him uncomfortable.

Wordlessly, he closes the space between them, gathering her into his arms. “You’re just- you’re so wonderful.” He doesn’t give her the time to respond, just leans in and kisses her, hard and long. It sets her world on end, she gasps for air when he pulls away.

“Nate-“

“You wanna come to my place?” He asks against her lips, eyes hooded. A brief nod is all that’s needed to get him moving, guiding her back to his truck and opening the door for her.

___

Her hands are trembling when they pull up to Nate’s house. Nate grins at her, taking her hand over the shifter once he parks. He brings it to his lips and kisses it softly. There’s an unspoken understanding in the air, tension hanging between them. “Hey,” he whispers, trying to catch her eye. “You alright?”

Her voice is so soft when she speaks that Nate almost misses it. “I’m nervous,” she admits. “It’s been such a long time and I really want this to be good for you-“

Nate cuts in, brow furrowed. “Look at me.” He waits until she draws her eyes up to continue. “It’s okay to be nervous. I’m a little nervous, but please, don’t feel like you have to do this.”

“I don’t. I mean, I do want to,” she interjects. “I just- what if it’s not… good?”

He actually snorts when he hears this. He’s under no impression they’ve lost that spark over the years. It’s always been good, and he knows it will continue to be. But the hesitance on her face is suggesting she’s not thinking the same way he is. “It’s going to be incredible,” he insists. “Just like it always was.”

“We were kids, Nate. I’m worried it won’t be.” She takes in a deep breath, shaking her head. “I’m worried I won’t be any good.”

He drops her hand, turning in his seat until he’s able to cup both of her cheeks. Then he draws her head up until she’s looking at him again. “You are the most beautiful woman I know, and you’ve been driving me crazy since the day I saw you in the grocery store. I know you’re going to blow my mind.” She hesitates for a moment, but then she’s nodding as best she can with the way he’s holding her. “If you’re not ready, we can wait.”

“No,” she says adamantly. “I’m done waiting.”

This is all the confirmation that Nate needs. He keeps his hands firmly planted on her cheeks and leans in, kissing her hungrily. He slides his tongue into her mouth, groaning when he feels her fingers crawl up to grip his hair tightly. She leans even closer to him, pressing her chest against his, letting him feel every inch of her torso. His eyes are half lidded when he breaks away, tongue flicking out to wet his lips.

Her eyes blink open, and Nate’s smiling softly at her. His eyes are soft, filled with longing, and her stomach is doing flips. It’s tenfold when he climbs out of the driver’s seat, coming around to take her hand and help her step down. He laces their fingers, leading her up the short pathway and in the front door. They shed their shoes and their cold weather gear there, tossing it unceremoniously toward the built in to the right. They’ll deal with the mess later.

“Do you need anything?” His voice is low, raspy, and she’s shaking her head immediately. She’s of a one track mind now, and it seems that Nate picks up on that. He takes the initiative to walk her up the stairs, straight to his bedroom.

“Can I touch you?” He whispers. He rests his hands on her waist, lingering at the hem of her soft t-shirt. When he sees her nod, it’s up and over her head in a hurry, exposing her smooth skin. Nate’s eyes greedily take in every inch of her chest, and she’s surprised she doesn’t feel the urge to cover herself.

She feels a surge of confidence shoot through her; the way Nate is looking at her fueling her ego. It makes her bold, and she pushes back on his shoulders until he’s stepping backwards, and eventually, falling onto the bed. Then, she climbs into his lap, her hair falling around them like a curtain when she leans down over him. “Are you just going to look?” She asks, and the challenge in her voice ignites something inside Nate.

Before she can blink, she finds herself on her back with Nate crawling over her. He reaches up and tugs off his shirt, smirking at her sharp intake of breath. He doesn’t take much time to gloat, choosing instead to draw her in for another kiss. His hands make quick work of her bra, tossing it across the room carelessly. His lips trail down her chest, mouthing at the supple flesh, and swirling his tongue around her nipples. He revels in the breathy sounds falling from her lips when he bares his teeth.

“Nathan, please touch me,” she whines. She wriggles underneath him, trying to draw him up, get his mouth back on hers.

“Patience, my girl,” he mumbles. He kisses the tip of her nose before he sits back, eyes taking in her form. Her hair is splayed out across the bed, cheeks flushed, and pupils blown wide. He slides his fingertips over the red marks he’d left on her breasts, dragging the rough pads down until they’re toying with the waistband of her pants. He glances up at her again, eyebrows lifted to check in, make sure this is still what she wants. He earns himself a frustrated groan and a “come on, Nate”, which he takes as the green light. He slides everything down in one move, leaving her completely bare to him. “God, look at you,” he breathes. He pushes her legs open wider to accommodate the bulk of his shoulders before he drops down onto his stomach. His eyes never leave hers as he leans in close, kissing up her thighs until he’s inches away from her throbbing center.

She tosses her head back, squeezing her eyes shut to try to regain control of herself. Her body is thrumming with anticipation, desperate for Nate to do anything. After a few seconds, she’s rewarded for her patience. Nate licks a long strip up from her entrance to her clit, chuckling against her when she gasps. Immediately, her hands fly to his hair, fingers gripping tightly. Nate flicks his tongue expertly against her before drawing her clit between his lips and sucking. She feels him ghosting his fingers over her lips, the soft tickle making her toes curl. She lets out a moan, and that’s all it takes to get Nate to dive in. He slips two fingers into her dripping entrance, scissoring against the tight suck of her walls.

“Nathan,” she pants, back arching. He’s nibbling on her clit as he seeks that spot inside of her, pumping his fingers in and out quickly. She cries out when he finds it, and Nate presses down hard, keeping his fingers firmly against it while she thrashes against the bed.

She’s sure her grip on his hair has to be painful at this point, but she’s too far gone to care. All she can focus on is the blinding pleasure Nate is giving her. She can feel that coil tightening inside of her, her body wound so tightly she’ll snap back at any given second. When he sucks on her again, she snaps, trapping his face between her legs as she comes, thighs tightening around his head.

Nate keeps his fingers working inside of her as she starts to come down, her breath slowing, though not entirely coming back to her. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand as he climbs up to his knees, grinning wickedly. “Such a good girl for me,” he coos.

She’s having a hard time replying to him. She can’t get a sentence out, moans tumbling past her lips whenever she opens her mouth. Nate is prolonging her orgasm, keeping her suspended up on cloud nine as he watches her, eyes hungry. “I’ve imagined this so many times,” he admits. “Over the years, when I’m on the road late at night. I love to picture you wrapped around me instead of my hand, squeezing me so tight. You feel so good around my fingers; I can’t even imagine how you’ll feel around my cock. Will you let me have you? Sink deep inside of you and fuck you open, my girl?”

She cries out again, nodding quickly. She grips his forearm tightly, eyes rolling back. “Please Nate,” she chokes out. “God, please, I need you.”

“You’ve got me,” he swears. He leans down and kisses her again, stealing the air from her lungs. He tugs his sweatpants down as best he can with one hand, sighing against her lips when his cock springs free.

Slowly, she draws her eyes up from his cock, enjoying the sight of his clenched stomach muscles, and the strain of his bent forearm. Everything about Nate is absolutely gorgeous. He’s just so big; so wide and cut, and god, he’s going to be the death of her. She grips his shoulders tightly, mouth going dry at the muscles her fingers trace over. She’s trying to commit every moment to memory, the soft pants falling from Nate lips, the way his eyes are nearly black with desire. It’s so different than it had been before, but somehow the same. They’ve both matured so much- confidence emanating off of them now, but that giddiness is still there. That schoolyard crush that makes your heart beat faster and your hands shake. Her head is swimming, with desire, and the disbelief that this is truly happening. That they’d found a way to have this happen again.

She whines when he draws his fingers out of her, the loss leaving her feeling empty, and she clenches around the air. “I’ve got you,” Nate promises her. He reaches over her head to the bedside table and comes back with a condom, tearing it open with his teeth before sliding it down his throbbing cock. Her fingers are still gripping his shoulders tightly, and there’s no way her nails aren’t biting into his skin but Nate doesn’t say a word. He just runs a soothing hand down her torso and grips her hips, holding her still as he lines himself up with her entrance. His eyes are locked with hers as he presses forward, the blunt head of his cock drawing a gasp when he slips inside. He’s so wide; her walls are already straining to accommodate him, the burn of the stretch making her heart pound. Nate takes his time pressing into her, letting her accommodate for his size. As he pushes in, he’s whispering soft reassurances to her, telling her how beautiful she is, and how good she feels.

He grips her waist tightly when he’s fully sheathed, his big hands wrapping around her. “Okay?” He whispers. She can see the strain of holding back on his face, the need to make sure she’s alright before he can let himself go and enjoy this.

“Perfect,” she assures. “Please, Nate.”

He sucks in a deep breath and nods. Slowly, he draws his hips back before snapping himself forward, burying himself even deeper. She’s impossibly tight and wet around him, drawing him in and clinging to him. It doesn’t take long for him to build up a steady rhythm and when he does, he feels like a man possessed. He’s holding her down against the bed, watching as her breasts bounce and her mouth falls open in pleasure. He feels her drag her nails down his back and he groans, driving into her even harder. The force of his hips is pushing her up the bed, leaving her breathless and begging for him.

“I’m so close,” she pants. “Please Nate, touch me.” Her eyes are shining when she looks up at him. He obliges, sliding his right hand down to press his fingers to her clit. Within seconds, she’s coming around him, clamping down on him as she cries out his name. Nate fucks her straight through it, his hips slapping against her ass as he chases his own release.

He kisses her desperately when he feels his body tightening. When her tongue sweeps against his, he’s gone. He drives in and holds himself there as he comes, a grunt falling from his lips. When he’s able to come back into himself, he reaches down, holding onto the condom as he slowly pulls out. He kisses her cheek in apology when she winces, tying the condom off and tossing it into the trash just after. He runs a hand down his face, trying to steady his breathing before he stands. He grabs the first hand towel he can find in the on suite bathroom, running it under the tap and bringing it back into her bedroom wordlessly.

She’s still spread out on the bed where he’d left her, her arm thrown up over her eyes as her chest heaves. He drags the towel between her legs, cleaning her up carefully, before the towel too gets tossed to the floor. “You doing okay?” He whispers. He drops down onto the bed beside her, manhandling her body until she’s lying on her side, facing him.

“Wonderful,” she says, and that’s the understatement of the century. “Was, was I okay?”

Nate’s eyes go wide, and he’s nodding immediately. “That was unbelievable. God, the way you feel-” He cuts himself off, dropping his head onto a pillow dramatically. “It’s amazing how good we still are together.” She peers up at him, sees his eyes closed and the small, happy smile on his face. It makes her heart twist in her chest, her throat tightening. Realization hits her like a bucket of ice water thrown over her head. None of this is real. He’s not her Nate anymore, and damn it, how is she going to walk away from this?

“I can hear the gears whizzing around in there,” he teases. “Tell me what you’re thinking?”

She hesitates, debates deflecting- telling him it’s nothing and avoiding the discussion she knows they should have. They’re adults now, this is the kind of thing they need to discuss, but she’s scared. “Nate,” she sighs, feels tears brimming in her eyes. “I don’t know. I just-“

“You told me you wouldn’t break my heart.” His voice is low. It isn’t accusatory, it’s just sad, like a punch straight to the stomach. She opens her mouth to reply, but nothing comes out. Hot tears leak out of the corners of her eyes, pooling on the pillow case.

“It’s feeling pretty broken right now.”

This has her swallowing hard, gathering her courage. “I don’t want to.” It’s barely a whisper. “But I don’t think there’s another choice.”

“Of course there is,” he assures her. “There’s always another choice.”

“Not when it leads right back where we broke in the first place.”

“Don’t think about that. Tell me what you want.”

“It doesn’t matter-“

“It does matter,” Nate insists. “What the hell are we doing in this life if we’re not trying to find happiness?” His eyes search her face, drinking in every feature. “What would make you happy?”

She doesn’t hesitate. “You. But-“

He shakes his head slowly. “Nope. No buts. I would make you happy?”

“Yes.”

“Thank god,” he breathes. “Because I’m not letting you go again.”

“It’s not that easy,” she says. “There’s too many variables, and it will lead us right back where we started.”

“It’ll be different this time.”

She sighs. “How can you know that?”

Nate reaches a tentative hand out, wiping the tears from her cheeks with the pad of his thumb. “Because we know better. We can make better choices together. I know you don’t want to be a WAG, and I’m not going to put that on you. If you want to stay in Florida, okay. If you want to move to Denver, okay. If you want to move back to Canada, that’s okay too. We’ll make whatever you decide work. I just want you.”

“You… you want that?”

“If it involves you, I want it.” He’s so adamant, speaking with such conviction she can’t entertain any other thought. She scoots closer to him on the bed, molding herself against his chest and resting her head on his shoulder.

“I really want this to work, Nate,” she says. “I really, really want that.”

He drops a kiss to her forehead. “Sweetheart, I told you, I’m not letting you go again. I mean it.”

[cogneato-inc]

hullo may I request some dating alpha beta headcanons? 🥺

Robotus Alpha-Beta Dating Headcanons

FIRST of all God Bless whoever sent this in ily-

All of these are assuming he’s repaired and able to leave Cognito HQ but I might write another one because,, The Yearning,,,

Very fluffy (mostly ranting abt cuddling honestly-), all sfw !

This man is,, the Clingiest mf on the planet I swear-

He’s spent most of his sentient life in a jar, of course he’s going to be a little (a lot, it’s a lot) touch starved !!

He can’t always be touching you but by god he’s going to try-

Hands on your waist while you make lunch, looming over you much closer than necessary to watch something on your phone, helping you put on your jacket before you leave,,, he’s a sap <3<3<3

Loves cuddling,, sm- if he finds you watching a movie/taking a nap/literally just laying on the couch by yourself ??? You will not be alone much longer-

It doesn’t matter what he was doing before he spotted you, it is suddenly Not Important

Dozing off alone and briefly waking up as he winds his arms around you, easily coaxing you back to sleep with a few murmurs-

Lots of unexpected naps - he has a habit of playing with your hair/running his hands along your back when you’re watching tv together,, you have missed many episodes of Friends </3

Reagan mentions at some point that it’s odd for him to be powered on late at night so I guess he,, sleeps ? And WOW does that open some doors-

He’s a goddamn octopus - just,, curled around you, hands gripping the fabric of your pajamas, face buried in your hair/neck, pulling you closer to his chest anytime he wakes up in the middle of the night

(He doesn’t breathe but you can heAR THE MACHINERY IN HIS CHEST-)

The relaxed hum of his fans, maybe some quiet clicks every once in a while - better than any white noise machine

Good luck getting out of bed on time <3 he’ll wake up as soon as you’re gone - and he’s Very Persuasive when it comes to getting you back in his arms for ‘just a few more minutes’

He’s so warm <3 like an overworked laptop- which is great for cuddling obviously but also just,, him holding your hands to warm them up when it’s cold outside ?? Wrapping his jacket around you while he’s wearing it to share his warmth ???

(One downside to this is that he’s,, not very comfortable to sleep near in the summer </3)

Absolutely pulls a Clark Kent/Superman to go to fucking,, Walmart with you

(He hates interacting with The Masses, but never passes up an opportunity to be painfully domestic with you - helping you decide between ice cream flavors, grabbing your favorite snacks off the high shelves, insisting on carrying all of the bags up to your apartment in one trip (definitely NOT to show off, thankyouverymuch-))

Hacks the self checkout to get you every deal/coupon/employee discount possible :)

[mourning-again-in-america]

similarly i got blindsided by a guy coming in at 9:45 at night, not interested in buying anything, but came up to me at the self-checkout station and started complaining about how American Christians practice the Easter Sunday service incorrectly. thankfully, he seemed to like that i heard him out when i didn't have anything else to do and reciprocated his "god bless you"s and listened to his confused speeches about being a barber.

[sasquapossum]

Had a bit of an illuminating experience at the grocery store today.

I was waiting to use one of the self-checkouts, because I was (uncharacteristically) there at a busy time. At one checkout was an older couple, clearly struggling a bit with the process and cursing the machine. The guy at the next checkout (i.e. unaffected by their actions) was aggressively telling them how it was their fault rather than the machine's, physically getting in their space to do it, etc. I seriously thought I might have to intervene to stop an actual assault. (The young staff member watching wide-eyed clearly wasn't up for that.) Fortunately that didn't happen. What did happen is that, as he was belatedly leaving, he turned and said.

God bless you. I'll say a prayer for you both.

That's when it hit me: this is what it means to be a Christian, to so many in the US. That you can do whatever you want, even be an absolute asshole, but it's all OK as long as you invoke God and prayer. The invocation doesn't even have to be sincere; there's zero chance this dude actually will pray for his almost-victims. As long as you make the in-group gestures, you can literally do no wrong. God's grace is infinite and unconditional and even preemptive, so whatever you do is right by definition. It's theological nihilism, really, because if grace means that then it means nothing.

None of this is news, of course. I already knew it, and many of you probably did too, but it was a stark illustration of how this attitude plays out in practice. Grocery Store Guy will now be my go-to example of that.

[z-h-i-e]

More ornaments than you can shake an aluminum pole at

It may have been around 10:30am while I was in a very important meeting on Friday that it hit me that Christmas Eve was Saturday and that I had to have all my shit together for family gathering in just over 48 hours from that point.

And about 10:35am when I realized I had no shit together what-so-ever.

I then thought, I'll go out early to shop for food needed for the other side of the family gathering on Christmas Day, and that should take like an hour, and then I'll have ample time for drying.

And my expected single trip to one grocery store for an hour ended up becoming EIGHT - yes EIGHT - fucking stores over the course of FIVE HOURS. I do not recall giving permission for anyone else to be out there doing this at that time today, but I blame Smaug, because he decided to say the following when we were five blocks from our house and I was making a left turn: "At least it doesn't seem too busy on the road."

That's because all those motherfuckers were already AT the damn store.

God bless the woman who had to fix my self-checkout register 14 times at store #3. Even on the fourteenth time, she still cheerfully said 'Have a nice day now!' which was exactly what she did the previous 13 times. Yes, I counted the number of times the register flipped out on me.

And since it's the holiday season, I won't say what I want to say about the woman who decided to blatantly side cut into the line for the self-checkouts in front of me, and obviously knew what she was doing because she had to keep her cart awkwardly sideways in the line. But kudos to the individual in the store also rocking a black leather trench (most comfortable coat ever, for the record), for the facial expressions and reaction they had from their lane a few feet away mirrored exactly what I was thinking. I feel like we had some unspoken outerwear solidarity going on.

So I now have about three dozen custom ornaments drying in trays around this room. Allegedly, they are supposed to take 24 hours to dry. Sometimes they dry faster.

It's 13 hours to go time. Hoping for an overnight Festivus miracle.

I need these...

To start looking like this...

Fun fact: I watch a lot of Project Runway while I work on art last minute like this so that I can keep hearing Tim Gunn say 'Make it work' in the background as motivation.

Happy Festivus!

[ownedbycats]

With self-checkouts now available, you are no longer limited to the kids/teens section but can explore anything you want. (Before that, God bless librarians who saw nothing wrong with letting little me borrow any book I pleased as long as it was non-fiction, even if it was supposedly for adults.)

[dfroza]

A link to my personal reading of the Scriptures

for the 21st of October 2024 with a paired chapter from each Testament (the First & the New Covenant) of the Bible

[The Book of Mark, Chapter 1 • The Book of Ruth, Chapter 1]

along with Today’s reading from the ancient books of Proverbs and Psalms with Proverbs 21 and Psalm 21 coinciding with the day of the month, accompanied by Psalm 30 for the 30th day of Astronomical Autumn, and Psalm 145 for day 295 of the year (with the consummate book of 150 Psalms in its 2nd revolution this year)

A post by John Parsons:

From our Torah reading for this holiday season (i.e., V’zot Haberakhah: “this is the blessing”) we read the following: “Moses charged us (צִוָּה־לָנוּ) with the Torah as the heritage (מוֹרָשָׁה) of the congregation of Jacob” (Deut. 33:4). Note, however, that for the Torah to become part of our heritage as the people of God, it must be seriously studied, wrestled over, and earnestly engaged... This is a happy task we are given, as it is written: “the righteous one delights in the Torah of the LORD (בְּתוֹרַת יְהוָה) and in his Torah he meditates (יֶהְגֶּה) day and night” (Psalm 1:2).

Commenting on this verse Rashi noted that God’s Torah rightly belongs to the one who labors in it and groans (הָגָה) over its meaning, for only then may it be meaningfully said to be “his Torah” (תּוֹרָתוֹ). However the converse is also true: the one makes no effort to study Torah will soon be without godly direction.

We are admonished to be “doers of the word, and not hearers only,” since merely assenting to truth without practicing it leads to self-deception (James 1:22). As the Messiah said, "If you know these things, happy are you if you do them" (John 13:17).

Let us take hold the Scriptures and cherish the revelation of God’s truth. Remember that the “chief advantage” of the Jewish people was that they were entrusted with the “oracles of God” (Rom. 3:1-2). Loving Torah and the rest of the Scriptures is essential to knowing our heritage as the children of God. Amen.

Shabbat Shalom and Chag Sukkot Sameach, chaverim!

[ Hebrew for Christians ]

========

Psalm 119:111 reading:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/psalm119-111-jjp.mp3

Hebrew page:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Blessings/Blessing_Cards/psalm119-111-lesson.pdf

V'Zot Ha’berakhah page:

https://hebrew4christians.com/Scripture/Parashah/Summaries/Vzot-Haberakhah/vzot-haberakhah.html

10.18.24 • Facebook

from Today’s email by Israel365

and A True story that crossed my path:

Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research

it is said breathing is an expression of the sacred “Name” of God known as YHWH (also YHVH)

the Hebrew letters Yod Hey Vav Hey

A post that crossed my path on Facebook:

[Anam Cara Ministries]

Midday Meditation: - YH WH is the Breath in Our Lungs

Find a sacred sit spot inside or outside.

Slow down.

Take a moment to notice your breathing.

Be curious about your breathing.

Had you even stopped to notice your breath today?

Are you taking shallow breaths or deeper breaths?

Perhaps take three slow cleansing inhales in and equally as long exhales.

Perhaps, placing your hand on your chest or belly, notice how your body is responding to that breath.

Now slowly begin to breath in and out through your mouth.

Notice how your inhale is YH, your exhale is WH.

Breath the Sacred Name of God for a few minutes.

When you are done, take some time to notice your embodied connection to God through your breath.

__

Guest post from spiritual director, Kim Nielsen Van Natta. You may reach out to Kim at kim@transformingexperiences.org or checkout her website at www.transformingexperiences.org

Photo Credit: Newman United Methodist Church

10.21.24 • Facebook

[mint-moon25]

The Music Man - “Lida Rose / Will I Ever Tell You?”

DEAR - KOREAN - GIRLS - OF - SEOUL,

DEAR - KOREAN - BOYS - OF - SEOUL,

MAYBE - THE - APP - ITS - STILL - $1,000 - OF

THE - FIRST - MONTH - OR - WILL - DO THAT

AGAIN - JESUS - IS - LORD

APARTMENTS . com

CREATED - NEW - ACCOUNT

BARBERSHOP - QUARTET - AN - AMERICAN

INSTITUTION - SINCE - LAST - CENTURY

‘THE - MUSIC - MAN’

SHIRLEY JONES - PRETENDING - NOT - TO

BE - PREGNANT - BUT - LATER - DIDN’T YES

SUCCEED - INTRODUCED - IN - ‘OKLAHOMA’

FOUND - THE - BEST - WITH - EV - ELECTRIC

VEHICLE - CHARGER - FREE

GARAGE - ADD - $75 - MONTHLY

ONLINE - PAYMENTS - MAINTENANCE PORTAL

2 - ORDER - FREE - REPAIRS

COMMUNITY - AMENITIES

MAINTENANCE - ON - SIGHT

PROPERTY - MANAGEMENT - ON - SIGHT

ITS - LIKE - NO - MORE - LANDLORDS

GATED

DOG - PARK

PET - WASHING - STATION

BYCYCLE - STORAGE - ADD - $10 - MONTHLY

STORAGE - UNITS - $75 - $175 - MONTHLY

BUSINESS - CENTER

SWIMMING - POOL - LARGE

CLUBHOUSE - LOUNGE

CONFERENCE - ROOM 

FITNESS - CENTER

SPA 

APARTMENTS - FEATURES

RECREATION - ROOM

BALCONY

315 - UNITS

6 STORIES

BUILT - IN - 2022 - NEW

FRONT - ARE - BUSINESSES - L AND R

LIKE - SUSHI - SAKE

APARTMENTS

ELECTRONIC - THERMOSTAT

RESIDENT - SOCIAL - EVENTS

CHRISTMAS - VALENTINE’s

NON-SMOKING - COMMUNITIES

YES - PREGNANT - FEMALES

COFFEE - LOUNGE

EV - CHARGING - STATIONS

CONCRETE - CEILINGS

BIBLE - ‘DEPART - FR - EVIL’

DEPART - FR - DOWNTOWN - MIAMI

BRICKELL - DORAL - WEST - JUST GO

BY - ELECTRIC - CAR - 2 - DOLPHIN MALL

24 HOUR - FITNESS

JERSEY - MIKE’s - SUB - SANDWICHES

CITI FURNITURE - 10A - 9P - DAILY LIKE

ASHLEY - FURNITURE

THE - BEST - HOME DEPOT

MON - SAT - EARLY - BIRDS

6A - 10P

SUNDAYS - 7A - 8P

PODS.com/HOME DEPOT

THEY - HAVE - A - CODE

FORGOT

OFF - LEASH - GATED - DOG RUN

HIGH - SPEED - FIBER - INTERNET - READY

OVERSIZED - WALK - IN - CLOSETS

QUARTZ - COUNTERTOPS

ENTERTAINMENT - ISLAND - IN - KITCHEN

PET - SPA - DOG - WASHING - GROOMING

STATION

PRIVATE - BALCONIES - AND - PATIOS

USB - CHARGING - PORT - OUTLET

WOOD - STYLE - PLANK - SO - PRETTY

PRIVATE - SPA - ROOM - MASSAGE TABLE

2 YEARS - OLD - APARTMENT - BUILDING

BEST - ELECTRICITY - BILLS

CHOOSE - YOUR - CITIBANK

MON - FRI - 10A - 5P

01) 201 S BISCAYNE BLVD STE 770

MIAMI FL  33131 - 4335

(786) 235 - 9353

02) DRIVE - TRU - BUS - AND - METRORAIL

32 MIN - 1190 S DIXIE HWY

CORAL GABLES FL   33146 - 2918

(786) 245 - 4854

ANOTHER - WHOLE FOODS MARKET

SOUTH - MIAMI - OTHER - HOURS

MON - SUN

8A - 10P

WFM - COFFEE - BAR

8A - 8P

HOT - FOODS - SALAD - BAR - ALSO

CAR - 13 MIN

BUS 40 - BUS 37 - TOTAL - 39 MIN

BIKE - 23 MIN

WALK - 1 HOUR - 11 MIN

BUS - 1 MIN - 2 - MARKET - WALK - 3 MIN

WHOLE FOODS MARKET

6701 S RED RD

SOUTH MIAMI FL   33143 - 3630

(305) 421 - 9421

SAME - DAY - DELIVERY - BAKERY - TOO

APARTMENTS . com - APP - ALSO

WINDSOR CASTLE - BERKSHIRE - ENGLAND - UK

OWNER - NOW - KING CHARLES III

FAVORITE - RESIDENCE - OF - HER - MAJESTY

QUEEN ELIZABETH II - MONARCH - OF THE UK

GOD - BLESS - THE - FORMER - QUEEN

GOD - BLESS - AMERICA

GOD - BLESS - THE - KING - HIS - MAJESTY

ZIP CODE - 33155 - LIKE - WALMART - SUPERCENTER

SELF - SERVICE - CHECKOUT - OUTSIDE - SMALLEST

PARKING - LOT - FRONT - OF - CHINESE - FOOD - AND

LARGE - ROSS - DRESS - 4 - LESS - AND - FIVE BELOW

GLENVAR HEIGHTS

2024 - OVER - 17,902 - POPULATION

WHITE - HISPANICS - 2 KINDS - WHITES - AND BLACKS

APARTMENTS . com

WINDSOR LUDLAM TRAILS

STYLE - CHOSEN

A3 - ENTICE

1 BEDROOOM - 1 BATH

670 SQ FEET

DECREASED - ONLINE - MAJOR 

NOW - $2,514.00 - AVAILABLE - 22 OCT 2024

STAY - AT - HOMEWOOD - SUITES - KITCHENS

WITH - OVENS - BY - HILTON - AT BRICKELL FL

HILTON - APP - FREE - NIGHTS

7004 SW 40TH ST APT 555

MIAMI FL   33155

COUNTY - MIAMI - DADE

ADD - MONTHLY - UTILITIES / SERVICES

UTILITIES - ADMINISTRATION - FEE

JUST - $5 - EACH - MONTH

TOTAL - $2,519.00

ONE - TIME - MOVE - IN - FEES

ADMINISTRATIVE - FEE - $300

APPLICATION - DEPOSIT - REFUNDABLE - WHEN

NOT - APPROVED - $400

APPLICATION - FEE - $50

NON-REFUNDABLE - $350 - CAN - BE - BY - YES

HARVARD - LAW - UNDER - DISCRIMINATION OF

RACE - COLOR - GENDER - AGE - AND INCOME

DOGS - LIMIT 2

CATS - LIMIT 2

EXAMPLE - 2 DOGS - ADD - $30 - MONTHLY

ONE - TIME - FEE - $500

MONTHLY - THEN - $2,549

ONE - TIME - FEES - INCLUDING - PET

TOTAL - $1,250

LEMONADE - BEST - RENTER’s - INSURANCE

REQUIRED - FOR - LEASEHOLDERS - 1 YEAR

FASTEST - BEST - IS - LEMONADE - BEATS

ALLSTATE - BY - ONLINE

$100,000 - REQUIRED - PERSONAL - LIABILITY

YOUR - GUEST - FELL - IN - YOUR APARTMENT

THEY - SUE - $100,000 - WILL - B - GIVEN THEM

TOTAL - $74.92 - MONTHLY

WERE - YOU - ROBBED - FIRE - DESTROYED

APT - $20,000 - GIVEN - FOR - HOTEL - PLUS

LIVING - EXPENSE - MONEY - OR - ANOTHER

RENTAL - GREAT - DEAL

STOLEN - PERSONAL - PROPERTY - THEY

GIVE - $50,000 - OTHERS - THEIR - FINGERS

BLED - IN - YOUR - KITCHEN - GIVEN - $1,000

ADD - THIS - PET - DAMAGE - $500 - DAMAGE

2 - APARTMENT - ADD - $1.50 - A - MONTH OR

MORE - DEDUCTIBLE - $250 - I - CHOSE NOT

$500 - REALISTIC - LEMONADE - INSURANCE

GREAT - EASY - 2 - GET - TOTAL - RENT EACH

MONTH - UNLIKE - ALLSTATE

FREE - EV - CHARGING - 2 - CHARGE - YOUR

ELECTRIC - VEHICLE

361 MILES - CHARGED - ONCE - AT - LEAST

FASTEST - CHARGING - BATTERIES

40 MIN - 100%

18 MIN - 80%

HYUNDAI - IONIC 6 - EST - $53,650 - & - 2024

TOTAL - 2 MINIATURE - YORKSHIRE - TERRIERS

REAL - LITTLE - USA - WEBSITE - OVER - $6,000

EACH - TEACUP - SMALL - TRUE - ENGLISH TOO

TOTAL - MONTHLY - CHEAPER - THAN 

DORAL - WEST - PENTHOUSES - OVER - $3,500

TOTAL - WITH - PET - GARAGE - INSURANCE - 2

$2,698.92

BLACK - METAL - MAILBOXES 

MAGAZINE - SUBSCRIPTION

GATED - APARTMENT - BUILDING

WINDSOR LUDLAM TRAIL

GLENVAR HEIGHTS - 33155

LIKE - WALMART - SUPERCENTER

BANK - CITIBANK

NO - MINIMUM - DEPOSIT - PUT - MONEY - BEFORE

90 DAYS - REGULAR - CHECKING - NO OVERDRAFT

FEES - NO - BOUNCED - CHECK - FEE - ENJOY YES

BUILT - IN - 2022 - BEST - ELECTRICITY - BILLS

ABOUT - DORAL WEST - DOWNTOWN - MIAMI

ABOUT - BRICKELL - MEN MARRIED - 2 - MEN

BIBLE - ‘DEPART - FROM - EVIL’

LEAVING - MAIN - LIBRARY - PARKING - LOT 33

WOMEN - FIRST - FOOD - 5:15P EDT - ENOY - 2

MIAMI - FLORIDA

JESUS - IS - LORD

[monstersarebeautifultoo]

I'm gonna rant here for a second. I shave my head pretty often because while I want to grow my hair out, I'm extremely particular about how it looks when short but not buzzed. But I don't have the money to see a barber to keep it the way I like it, so I simply keep it shaved in warmer seasons. Well, I moved in January to a new area about 30 minutes from where I was living last, but still work in the city I used to live in. I usually do my shopping in that town because it's cheaper. Anyway. I needed a few things for before work tomorrow and went to the grocery store closest to my apartment. I've got a tummy, and I'm not wearing a binder, so I'll admit I look like a bald pregnant person. Which I don't mind, because people tend to be a bit more helpful when they think I'm a bald pregnant lady struggling to reach the top shelf. There wasn't actually a single problem until I was in line waiting for a self checkout to open up. An older woman was walking through the lines to get across the store and suddenly slowed down a lot when she saw me. She eventually comes to a stop in front of me and stares for a moment. So I ask if I'm in her way, she shakes her head and then looks at my stomach, and then back up at my head. "Are you going through Chemo?" She decided she had the right to ask me, in the middle of a grocery store self checkout line. Multiple, and I mean MULTIPLE people turn and look at her like she's lost her damn mind. I, of course, responded with a shocked "Excuse me?" She apparently decided that this was her cue to repeat her question, not apologize, and continue on. Not only did she repeat her question, but she added to it. "Are you going through chemo? Your head is shaved, and you look awful. If you are, I hope God blesses that baby of yours." My eyes are now wide, and my jaw is dropped as she smiles at me and continues walking. Like, first off, when did it become okay to tell a random stranger they look awful?? And why in all hell did she think she had any right to know if I'm doing Chemo therapy? What the fuck?

[wutbju]

When the children shouted, "Hosanna! Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the LORD!" they were both affirming Jesus' divinity and His ability to save them.

"Hosanna" is a cry for divine help. You wouldn't say "Hosanna" to your Labrador Retriever. You wouldn't say "Hosanna" to the grocery store clerk when the self-checkout locks up.

You say "Hosanna" to God. It's both praise and a plea.

I usually take a pause here at WutBJU in Holy Week, and in BJU alumni land we need a pause more than ever. So let's pause and take a look back at what we inherited from Bob Jones University. Look with clear, unhindered eyes. Look in order to repent.

Because we need God to deliver us from Bob Jones University even still. We need God to deliver us from Klandamentalism.

Hosanna!

[aropride]

i think they lowered the price of the icecream too cuz i remember it being $3.19 all the othertimes i got it but i swear i heard the self checkout machine say it was $2.69 today. god bless

What everrr happy saturday ❤️

[girlhorrror]

psa being drunk by yourself at the grocery store at 7:30am is the scariest experience in the universe

[awideplace]

Thank you for being so candid about your desire for relationships (of all categories). I'm faced with the same struggle and I think it has broad societal implications. my friendships have all seemed to be transient, like no one values connections today. I have always felt like the one pursuing and maintaining relationships with others who didn't seem to care to put in the same effort. I think back on days before the intrusion of the internet where the average family had a single TV in their home and everyone wanted to be outdoors socializing, meeting new people, making memories. my heart yearns for connection but people seem so calloused and socially stunted from these technologies that have served to isolate and separate us like streaming and delivery services that encourage isolation and deter people from pursuing relationships through constant consumption of entertainment, and even self checkout lanes in grocery stores that remove the human connection element. I am discouraged often and wonder if I'll ever have lasting friendships with even the same sex or be blessed with someone to weather this world with and build a family, but I also see how God used Covid to remind people of the value of community and social settings and I hope I'm not just an optimist in my observation. Sorry for the rant, but in a way it's comforting to know that I'm not the only one who has my hard days concerning this. I've always thought of those who accuse others of making an idol out of desiring connection whether romantic or social a little pious considering they're usually the type to have been blessed to marry young and don't know what it's like from our side of the fence. we were created for other people, we find peace when we focus less on ourselves and prioritize the needs of those we love instead of spending our time looking inward, to say otherwise would be to imply that anything outside of independence is weakness and that is antithetical to the Word. His will be done, if we find ourselves in a season of loneliness, then surely there is something to be accomplished in our hearts, but it is not wrong to want good things. ♥️ many of us are in the same boat, sister

Hey, thanks so much. You've worded things well and how I often think, too - like about the self-checkout lines, hehe. I love human connection as well. I have realized a few things though, I'm overall rather shy - I've always been the quiet girl who observes a lot, loves books, is friendly, but a touch distant. I have been told that I have a guard up, that I'm mysterious (by men), and one of my friends in college sang the line about me "She's a Brick House" - hehe, so the consensus is I'm definitely more difficult to really reach. Even my daughter made a comment a few years ago that I'm not meeting a man because I'm like Belle from Beauty in the Beast and the moment a man smiles at me I look at a book. I also just simply don't always like a lot of people, not that I hate others and I would never bully someone or be unkind, that's so not me as I've actually stood up to bullies even as a child. Rather, I just don't find a lot of people very interesting or perhaps can go very deep or even actually funny...like, actually funny, not crude humor funny which is not funny to me as it's easy to do on a base level and rather unintelligent. I am just not impressed with many people and don't want to waste my time (ouch, that sounds bad, especially coming from someone who is not wanting to be alone so much). Also, I don't use social media. I always was uncomfortable posting on FB and Instagram (this was way back; in 2016 or 2017 I got off social media platforms) and people would always compliment and leaving gushing things about me/my life/my appearance and I felt uncomfortable the compliments being so public. Especially since some of the people didn't even know me that well in real life. I felt so exposed. Also it felt strange that people only saw the highlights of my life, yet I never liked to post negative things either which can also draw attention to oneself in kind of a brooding way. I think I like this platform because it's more for creatives, for writers, for introverts, for those who like cozy-spaces over self-promotion and face-filters. My loneliness is definitely partly created by myself and I know that, and I do long for wonderful people in my life that are encouragers, lovers of God, and trustworthy. I pray this for both you and I, I think it may be rare, but I'd rather wait for what is rare than make compromises and still be longing for so much more relationally. It's a different kind of loneliness when you're with others and really have no deep connection with them or respect for them.