#god bless obie

[sychenb]

Thank you to @slytherizz for this idea. And PLEASE post the story cause everyone should read the drabble that inspired this comic. This was so fun.

[sputnikan]

❤️‍🔥

[sukugo]

[darthmalewife]

Obi-Wan doesn't get shitfaced drunk often. However, when he does, he wakes up with tinsel strands tied in his hair and a video of him vomiting out of his mouth and nose simultaneously in his dms. Sent to him by Cody, recorded by Anakin.

[tennessoui]

I love Principle Dr Kenobi and Mr Skywalker Esq so much they're so bitchy 😂 How long do they hate fuck for and does it go beyond that? Is there a moment Obi-Wan looks into Leia's tiny glaring face and have the awful realisation he's going to become her and Luke's step-Dad? How does this relationship progress???

i bet dr kenobi, headmaster of an elementary school and mr. skywalker esq are hatefucking on their wedding day. mr skywalker only refers to dr kenobi as dr kenobi in his wedding vows. dr kenobi calls him esquire and also apologizes for calling him mr. skywalker amidala upon first meeting - he should have known to call him mr. skywalker-kenobi. esquire.

i love the idea of obi-wan, two years into a covert relationship with anakin that surprised both of them, looking at leia when she comes to his office after another schoolyard fight or general mischief, and he's like oh my god. i'm biased. oh shit. oh SHIT i want to let her off easy. oh no. oh god. fucking her father has compromised me emotionally ethically and professionally. oh shit. im compromised over fucking. anakin. fucking skywalker. esquire.

what im getting at is there's definitely a moment in their relationship where anakin's thinking they're slowly easing their way into an adult relationship after several years of being childish and he's mostly ok with that after several sessions of soul searching, and then suddenly obi-wan cuts off all contact outside of work. goes completely dead air.

anakin has no idea what happened and he doesn't even think to wonder if it's his kid.

for once it's not his kid but it's obi-wan's protective reaction to his kid (as if the kid were obi-wan's kid)

[messiisgodibeliveinhim]

So, uh...... This gif EXISTS!!!

Not my gif. Credit to @thetorontokid. Link

[mouthlessmaiden]

stoppppp all the clips of ahsoka i’ve seen look so bad

[lukedjarinsblog]

me, waking up at 3 am, in cold sweat: I HAVE BROUGHT PEACE... FREEDOM.... JUSTICE.... AND SECURITY TO MY NEW EMPIRE

[chloeworships]

So remember I received a message about Nike needing to help someone and a particular country? That person was OBJ aka Obi Wan. I still don’t know which country they are to help. Only Nike knows.

I have another message for him that I’m trying to record 😭😭😭

But Nike needs to be fair.

Also it’s an absolute mistake to sleep on this guy. It’s not over for him nor Cam Newton. I’m telling y’all. Some folks gonna have some seriousssssss regrets not putting these boys on a team. This includes Ron too (if he doesn’t stay in Washington).

All the greats have a season of humbleness, of needing to be pulled away to connect deeper with God, of needing to remember to put him first and live righteously and all have a comeback story ���

I’ve been seeing the word “CHAMPION” for the last 3 days. I promise you, you will want to be apart of these boys comeback stories however long it may take 🏆🤑

My prayer is simple:

God bless the franchise that gives these men another opportunity. Give them a double portion for years to come and the Superbowl win they dream of. You answered that for OBJ once, as you stated here, but do it for him again and for the others 😂 I pray you give the owners, coaches and players the visions you gave me so they can continue to believe in the potential of these men. When you bless them, you bless thousands of others including their teammates. Their success and glory brings you honour and helps those who need it most through their generosity and yours.

Thank you and amen 🙏🏾

PS. LORD help these men to follow your will and NOT theirs. I pray they listen to every word you say as we know you would never lead us astray. I pray they have learned to trust you 🤍

SN: I really stress about putting out these feel good messages where I name names. I’ll tell you why later.

[intermundia]

more peak tier anakin behavior (and also an unfathomably incredible choice by stover to include) is anakin not noticing that palpatine was trying to imply obi-wan was fucking his wife, because he assumed that if obi-wan WAS fucking a senator, it would be a man, and it's enough to rouse him from his exhausted, annoyed haze into sitting up, because they need to go find this man Right Now. brilliant. iconic. 10/10 content and prose. god bless this book

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 2 part 1

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2])

Hey tumblr queers and agathario enthusiasts (I see you guys in the comments! @crybabyheathen, sorry to cause you so much distress! @onceuponalegendbg: I KNOW, RIGHT?? @ragnarockz thank you for being a butch!Agatha truther ❤️❤️)

Let's start episode 2, Circle Sewn with Fate / Unlock Thy Hidden Gate. Which, yes, has no Rio. But it has Lilia! Se let's count our blessings!!

oh my god girl, calm down! she's gone! focus!

that's a beautiful composed shot, with billy's head next to the rabbit, already telling us that he's going to become a son to Agatha

lmao she's about to bolt

aaaand she stops dead in her tracks when Billy mentions the Road. Look at her reflection again! that's so deliberate and so intriguing. how would you guys interpret it?

the Ballad theme playing in the background again. Agatha takes a whole step back when she hears the words "the Witches' Road" and immediately says no. she might be despicable, but there's no way she's getting a kid involved. especially not this kid. because they are somehow connected, otherwise how would she know about the car crash? even without knowing that this is Billy, she already cares about him. and she doesn't lie to him, even the tarots will say so. she might just, you know, omit things or even tell the truth from a certain point of view (already working on her obi-wan ghost mentor tricks)

"The road is no place to a kid." and so he was christened

but I can't stop staring at that rabbit picture. were the set people told to find the brightest bunny they could find? they really want you to notice it

now he's hopping like a bunny too! yes his legs are still tied, but I'm telling you it's all deliberate!! (insert either the pepe silvia or the I've connected the dots meme here)

don't tell him THAT. now he's gonna internalize it and accidentally kill you all one by one. christ.

girl you just got thrown around the room like a rag doll. you put together that outfit in two minutes, didn't even take a shower. you have no make up on. are you wearing ralph's shoes. is that his hat. (her being so frazzled speaks of how shell-shocked she is, she would usually take time to perfect the way she looks, because her looks is her armor)

billy is bullshitting too, he just googled her last night. I mean, I'm 100% convinced he cares about Agatha, but he is faking at least some of that trust and innocence (and good for him because she's a menace)

great, she found the brooch and nicky's hair. who needs a heart anyway, here, tear it out of my chest why don't you

Lilia has such beautiful handwriting. what a multitalent

NO, agatha. BAD agatha. now she's decided she might as well throw a little Road together and kill two or three idiots while keeping the boy safe on the side, which HISTORICALLY HAS NOT WORKED WELL FOR HER. how can she be so smart and SO STUPID

this also goes in the Top 5 Funniest Things Agatha's Ever Done list. now picture again all the dramatic car scenes from episode 1

covens are drawn together by fate and are the truest form of sisterhood??? why is rewatching this show kind of like being repeatedly stabbed in the heart???!!!??

look billy, it's the house where you were born! it was incredibly weird. a stork was there. (oh god, I just realized Billy is 3 years old)

Agatha spits at Wanda's home because a) she hates wanda and b) she hates that people hate wanda. this is the equivalent of being a queer kid and seeing faggot written on a locker (do I need to censor words? do tiktok rules apply now? I haven't written tumblr posts in so long)

except that, as Lilia will tell you, agatha has done a lot to smear witches' reputations, so yeah. consequences of her own actions etc.

be cool, man. mama is having the worst hangover of her life.

oh yes, Billy's boyfriend, Boyf.

shut up agatha, you know you wanna protect that little twink with your whole life

I almost wish I had an extra hour so I could gif agatha throwing the pen out of the window.

don't steal other people's pearls you hooligan (but see? clothes and accessories are props to her)

(by the way you won't find any Billy hate here, because I adore parent-children, mentor-mentee and found family relationships. and I think he's a sweetheart)

agatha discreetly snatching the eviction notice from the door. always thinking ahead, always scheming. the con master at work

*angel choir*

✨✨LILIA CALDERU✨✨

this show gave me a tragic villainous middle aged lesbian, which is literally my catnip, and she's only like, my second favorite character. which tells you all you need to know about the powers of dame Patti LuPone (I know she's not technically a dame) (yet) (I don't care if she's american Chucks, get to it!)

that's all I have time for tonight, can't wait to get me some ✨✨✨✨ Lilia scenes ✨✨✨✨

go to episode 2 part 2

[timetodiverge]

LOOK AT THEM ANAKIN

[uchihaharlot]

Hello there, i really love your headcanons tbh maybe the realest ones here

Since I'm here its obvious im in Uchiha hell so,

Could I politely ask for uchihas turn ons and turn offs? I swear to god when i think about them horny it brings a tear to my eye from blissfulness

The realest ones? Nonny, you honor me to the highest degree and I am forever grateful you feel this way. ❤️🥹

I think a better question would be what doesn’t turn these men off (I also think I answered this differently than you might have wanted, I hope not though). 😮‍💨😌 Though none of these men are shallow individuals, so rest assured, anyone would be their type.

Semi-NSFW; just some things that make an Uchiha melt inside

Madara:

All natural women. I’m gonna be honest here; in Madara’s time, the more rounded a woman. The better (for breeding). But in all honesty, he appreciates all shapes and sizes.

His turn off is weakness, she needs to be confident. Which sounds callous, but if she’s not at minimum as much a firecracker as he is. The chemistry is off. Madara needs someone who is going to keep him on his feet with excitement, not someone who will make him second guess their intentions. The more outgoing and confident. The better.

If Madara’s laying her in his bed, she’s going to have to be a very patient woman. This man can go for hours, and a woman who can appreciate his stamina without complaint is high on his priority list, possibly good for breeding. Madara needs to fuck her this way, ok? A test drive so to speak. It’s just how he does it, raw and unadulterated lust. He also won’t tolerate a quickie like some men.

Obito:

Its no secret that Obi, bless his soul, is the black sheep Uchiha. The quiet ones are easier for him to talk to, not because they’re touch starved or anything. But because they are legitimately sweet and soulful. A woman who is confident won’t really make him feel nervous. But what he really wants is to kinda be taken care of, tenderly.

He definitely doesn’t like loud noises or sudden changes, so the more ground and constant, the better. So a woman who has a temper, is not for him. He might get riled with a little spice, but Obito definitely doesn't and won't be a push over, even he has his limits. Obito thrives in a static environment where he can make mistakes without being treated like a child, even better if she babies him a little. I'm sure there is a mommy kink somewhere to explore.

And in bed, he’s a total mess for her, does whatever she wants. If she wants to be treated like a pillow princess and owned, he'll be man enough for it. If she wants to make him beg underneath her, that too.

Shisui:

Shisui 🥹🔥 he’s so fiery!! Definitely is turned on by a woman who is into self care. Bonus points if she agrees to partner stretch with him, it's so hot being able to feel her this way and not sexually...yet. Someone who eats well, the occasional bad food here or there isn’t a problem, but damn if she’s into good diet and exercise, sign him up and don't forget, sparring is like foreplay for him. So, if she ends up pinning him down (like he planned all along), he’s gonna be so desperate for her. And she has to be loyal; to him, to the village and morality.

As for in bed? Their chemistry is so far off the charts, neither one can keep from switching positions. I really think Shisui is one of those men, like most Uchiha but on a different level even to his family, that can go for hours. Just because he can and because he likes to see her all fucked out, it's different from her usual mouthy self, which reminds me. She needs to be just as spunky and spontaneous as he, maybe not on the same level, but a woman who is down for whatever is the best kind of medicine. Especially for a man with the whole village on his shoulders.

Itachi:

I love him, he's such an old soul. They say opposites an attract and while I think he would like someone like himself, I also feel like someone who could keep him on his toes a little. If she's a scholar, this is perfect. Itachi would really enjoy someone who he can discuss world politics with. Not too in-depth, but casually. That level of self awareness the sharingan gifts them with can often leave many Uchiha feeling mismatched, but someone who has wits to his is a godsend.

As for in the sheets, Itachi is someone who is very reserved when it comes to matters of the flesh. Trust and sex go hand in hand, he's not like Shisui who can stick it anywhere, pretty quickly too, (he once told Itachi he used a spaghetti squash as a fleshlight). Trust is earned, gained and has to be absolute. Once this is accomplished, he's so damn tender. The softest moaner, but he does it right in your ear. Hearing and seeing you enjoy sex with him is what ends up getting him going harder. Even better if you speak your desires as he rearranges your insides. As time goes on, you learn what a closeted freak he really is and end up in the false atmosphere of his Tsukuyomi.

[liliewrites]

"MY DEVOTION"

a/n : helloooo thereee lovely readers of minee:)) here's the pt 2 of my worship series featuring raiden ei!! also, to the ppl who submitted asks, i think i'll be uploading them laterrr or tomorroww:)) i've been kind'of busy for the past few days due to school stuff, but i promise they'll be uploaded real soon!! thanks to Haddy my editor for proofreading & editing

-warning/s ; somewhat religious motifs(?), NSFW, cunnilingus (r!receiving), biting. -pairings/s ; raiden ei x fem!reader - where in; these three women worship you, their lover, when hundreds and thousands, even millions of followers would drop on their knees to ask for blessings, for mercy, for prayers - and yet for you, at your beck and call, they would do anything you ask as they kneel for you at the same time , as proof of their devotion to you.

(men and minors please dni utc!)

”あなた..”

The Archon whispers against your skin, hands trailing down your back and untying the obi of your yukata with one delicate motion. The way she holds you, the way she calls your name so softly, is in stark contrast to how the Archon usually is when in front of her followers. Stoic and apathetic when faced, heartless and without mercy when angered. 

”My beloved wife..”

She whispers once more, tugging on the sleeves of your yukata, revealing your bare shoulders. Acting on feral instinct, Ei immediately bites down on your shoulder, causing you to whimper as you grip on the god’s skin. If it were anyone else who dares to inflict even the tiniest little scratch on her skin, they will be stricken with Inazuma’s unforgiving lightning, followed by a clap of loud thunder, a clear sign that they had just committed a grave sin for even touching the shogun. 

But right now, in this moment, only loud groans that have erupted from the Archon’s lips can be heard when your nails buried themselves into her skin. Ei pulls away, and you are looking at eyes filled with devotion, as if you are the god here and not her, she stares at you lovingly as she gives you a few minutes of respite. She smiles a little at you, before leaning in to kiss your shoulder, akin to an apology for biting down on your shoulder. “My beautiful wife..” she murmured, for a while, you thought that she has return to handling you with a more benign manner, yet to your surprise, strong, firm arms wrapped themselves around your shoulder, lifting you up from the futon and onto the shogun’s lap.

It is now that you realize you have make a mistake. The momentary gentleness she has shown you is never an apology for biting you, but a prelude to what she has in mind for tonight. Ei pushes you down onto the futon once more, causing you to let out a yelp and starts to nip at your skin. Small, little bites before has change into her teeth sinking into your flesh. It is the shogun’s trademark to mark things that belongs to her, especially evident in the beings that she has created where they bear the shogun’s symbol on their neck. But in this case, it is a mutual relationship with you belonging to her and her to you. So as she bites and marks the flesh of your neck and chest, you in return scratch and sinks your nails into her back, marking her back. Moans freely come out of you with groans coming out of her. It is a symphony of mixed, pleasured cries and noises to both you and Ei’s ears. The sounds that you both emit are the most beautiful you have both heard. More so than any prayer or song offered to Ei by her followers. 

Her lips meets your wet folds and with one delicate motion, she lifts your hips up pulling you in towards her. Her tongue starts flicking against your clit, as if she is whispering a sweet prayer to it, before moving on to lap up your juices as if she is starved for water. After all, the sweet juices that drips from you is Inazuma’s best delicacy that can only be offered by her beloved wife. To her, she is more than blessed to be able to taste this delicacy provided by you

To show you her gratitude for granting her such an opportunity is her utmost priority with the beautiful sounds you have been letting out proving that she is inching closer and closer to her goal.

”E-Ei! why.. did you..”

And yet, she drops you for a moment, goes onto her knees and lowers her face close to your soaked pussy. She breathes in your musky scent, gripping onto your thighs as she forcefully spreads it open. “Forgive me, my love, but I wish to savor your taste for much longer..” she mumbles, her warm breath brushing against your clit. She then presses light kisses across the sensitive area, making you mewl and whine at your increasing need for even more stimulation. Feeling your need rising higher and higher, you grip on Ei’s hair making it clear to the archon that you want more, making her feel impatient as well. Feeling annoyed at you for not letting her savor you in peace, she immediately dives right back into you without warning, making you let out a loud whiny moan that sounds so fucking pleasurable to Ei’s ears. It is loud and she hates loud noises, but the sounds you let out is like an aphrodisiac stimulating her ever further, sounding so much more better than the thunders that come from Inazuma’s skies. Licking you, tasting you, driving her tongue in places that makes you shiver and tremble, she holds you down with a firm hand as you squirm in her hold. 

The night is far too young, and the god has intentions to keep worshiping you with her tongue until the sun rises for the next day. So hold out a bit more longer for her, will you?

a/n : hallooo!!:)) ”あなた..” means "anata" which is an endearment japanese couples use, kind'of like saying "my/mine" hihi

[onlykenobimatters]

Codywan au where the clone troopers are actually a reincarnated group of an ancient sect of warriors from mandalorian space. They remember pieces of their previous society; some from the beginning of their origins all the way to the last grasping few. A lot of effort goes in to getting them assigned to the correct battalions. For they had a pantheon of gods they once worshipped and while they have always been One Blood, they believed very seriously in their coming of age ceremony where they must choose the god they would worship. It might have been thousands of years, but none stray from their Chosen.

(The pantheon would be similar to others in which they might have a core group of gods, but other minor gods could also exist. Each with their own domains;

Plo Koon was The Guardian? Protector of Packs and god of loyalty.

Mac Windu the Seer, protector/god of the past and future

While Yoda could be one of their oldest gods, his domains having shifted through the years but mainly protector of the young.

And then quigon who is associated with natural disasters. Legend is he was roaming their world, damning and saving mortals as he went, when he created a disaster so wroth, so powerful, he could not bare for it to fade. He pleaded with his grand sire and eventually Yoda agreed to help him. Combining their domains they turned the raging storm in to a young godling.

Obi-Wan, nature personified.

There are many legends involving the young godling and his journey. How he discovers his domains. And how he uses them to follow in his father’s footsteps to create children in his Image. For what is more natural than life and death?

Obi-wan is not the only one to create a god, but he is the only one to not need assistance. He becomes the Creator, the god of natural order, Father of Life (ahsoka) & death (Anakin)

Over the centuries the Line of Natural Order is adapted to many cultures within their system. Other attributes are gifted to them by followers of The Great Powers as well;

Life, goddess of survival & champion of the light side of the Great Power.

Death, god of balance & champion of the dark side of the Great Power.

The Creator, god of natural order and the Blessed, those who hold connections with the Great Power. )

and like I don't quite know where I was going with this, but clone wars era where the clones kind of remember this culture that doesn't seem to be recorded anywhere and these jedi that feel something Awaken when they meet these shining lights in the force.

and Obi-Wan gently cupping Cody's face, his blue eyes shining brightly. Obi-Wan allowing the force to guide him as he gently lays a kiss upon Co-, no, Kote's forehead, the warrior breathing in harshly as the first Blessing in thousands of years is granted to him. Kote is glory and Kote will uphold the Natural Order as The Creator, Ken'Obi, sees fit. For Kote is now Blessed by his patron God.

i dont even know this got away from me ugh

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

May the Fourth Be With You.

And a hearty nanu-nanu.