#god I'm fuckin stupid

[elementalwriter67]

Someone tell me why I am the stupidest mother fucker on the planet. I have just spent the past few minutes wildly scrolling through my blog trying to get back to at least one of the parts of one of my fanfictions so I can reread it because I'm going to attempt working on it again. No I will not be telling you which one. And somewhere around my Hazbin Hotel fixation and my return FNAF fixation I had thought of why am I doing this? I have fucking document with the links saved!! Why am I just scrolling through my own blog looking for it?! Why did it take me at least five minutes to remember this?! Why am I like this?!

I also feel it important to inform you all that I had to log back into tumblr on my computer to do this. I had to go out of my way and log back into tumblr on my computer because it has been so long since I've been on the damn thing just to spend five, maybe more, minutes scrolling through my blog, for nothing. I... I have no words. I'm going home. This is bullshit.

[kahootqueen69]

angsty timeskip!octogoblin my beloved

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[dkettchen]

it's been a year of blondes, boobs, and one piece apparently

[brionnnne]

note that i will only ever call mithrun "stupid" jokingly. by "stupid", i only mean "frustrating behavior that i am immensely familar with". seeing him do something that makes me groan aloud, closing my eyes, sighing "stupid (affectionate, mournful)". like when he fucking... his dumbass "i don't want to [use the bathroom] right now, so it's fine." oughh. i know you! i know you! that's not how that works!!! and he's smart!!! he's so smart... but god, god... he's kind of an absent professor. he's kind of a cloudcuckoolander. i love him dearly. he gets called a dummy, a little idiot, and i flick his forehead, a little bonk of hard-heads, like "try again, idiot. that's not how bodies work." and "ooh, 'that's not going to work'. yes it is. shut up, stoopid. stubborn little man, my god." rolling my eyes forever.

[veshialles]

the way how people on here will openly admit to installing fucking spyware on their kids devices and act like that's a normal healthy thing to do lmfao??? if you have such insane control issues you should not be a parent tbh

[ruthiesrambles2]

Sharing clothes: re: the hospitality uniforms.

"Melanie?" Ruth begins, a little out breath.

None of the passengers she had passed on the way to the hospitality office would have seen anything amiss, a pleasant smile on her face and walking, never running, with purpose. The breathlessness the only sign thst Ruth had been rushing.

"What's the emergency? Tristan said-" she stopped as Melanie turned to face her. "Oh."

Melanie's face was serious as Ruth held back a laugh. Melanie's jacket lay discarded on the desk, evidently removed to assess the full damage of the large dark stain on an otherwise crisp white blouse.

"it's not funny, Ruth. This is my last shirt, laundry are days behind with uniforms and I was minding my own business when that - that - boy barrelled into me and sent my coffee flying! The next thing I know he's running out the door talking about how you'll know how to fix it and I -" Melanie let out a frustrated noise, "- I haven't got time for this!"

"Now Melanie, Tristan is a very nice young man and I'm sure he didn't -"

"Ruth!" Melanie gestured wildly at the still wet shirt that was now sticking to the skin below.

"Okay, okay!" Ruth conceded, marching to the drawers at the back of the room. "Let me think. Coffee... We need to blot it as much as we can. Draw out as much liquid as possible... Aha!"

With a triumphant smile she turned back to Melanie, holding out the large stack of napkins she had been searching for.

"The batch we recalled for the W being upside down. I guess we never got them restitched."

Melanie took one of the proffered pieces of cloth and dabbed at the large damp area on her chest.

"Be easier with it on a flat surface," Ruth mused. "And anyway, we'll need to run it under cold water next."

Melanie just stared in response.

"What? It'll be harder to get out if we leave it," Ruth offered.

"What am I supposed to wear in the meantime? I've got that meeting with the catering team about - oh god, and then Lilah Folger is expecting me to discuss LJ's birthday -"

Melanie's speech was rapid, verging into panicked. Ruth had seen her handle many a crisis, and felt a twinge of discomfort watching the unflappable head of hospitality, well, flapping.

"Oh!" she interjected, cutting off Melanie's to do list. "I've got a - hang on -"

Ruth returned to the drawers, pulling open the one marked 'Misc. Supplies' in perfect script.

"I almost forgot this was here. It's probably a bit creased, but it's clean. I stashed one away for - well for this really. Only for me, obviously. It might come up a little big but I'm sure we can tuck it in..."

Now it was Ruth's turn to ramble, but she stopped as she saw Melanie's eyes widen in surprise at the shirt in her hands.

"Ruth, I could kiss you!" she exclaimed.

Ruth barely had time to register the blush rising to her cheeks before it rose again. She swallowed harshly as Melanie began to pull up her coffee stained shirt.

"I-" she spluttered, quickly turning away.

She fiddled with her W pin as she stared at the wall, her own pulse loud in her ears. She must have really been rushing around, she thought. Just not got her breath back...

"Come help me zip?" she heard Melanie ask over the roar of her heartbeat.

She swallowed again.

Slowly turning back, she saw Melanie unsuccessfully reaching for the zipper halfway down her spine, arms contorted. The shirt was a little big, but Ruth couldn't help but think it looked good. Not that Melanie ever looked bad in anything ever but...

Ruth shook herself back out of her head, stepping forwards as Melanie turned her back towards her.

Carefully reaching for the zipper, she pulled it up slowly, careful not to catch any skin.

She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding, only she must have been too close when she did so, as the skin on Melanie's neck rose up in goosebumps.

"Thanks," Melanie said, uncharacteristically softly, as she turned back to Ruth.

Tucking the shirt tightly into her skirt, her eyes flicked up to the clock.

"I've got to go, is there any chance you could -" she gestured to the discarded shirt on the desk.

"I've got it. Don't worry."

Melanie smiled warmly, and Ruth felt that damn blush again. She handed Melanie her jacket.

"I'll swing by the laundry car too, and see if we can't do something about your uniform being expedited," she offered.

"I owe you one, Ruth," Melanie said genuinely, touching her hand to Ruth's arm for just a second.

And then she was out the door, leaving Ruth with the crumpled up shirt, and the blood rushing in her ears again.

[imaginaryanon]

ohhh, da fandom, how i've not fucking missed you lmaooo the new game's release is still a month away but already i'm reminded exactly why i became convinced i'd never want anything to do with that franchise again. jesus christ. except this time im 30 and hopefully better at tailoring my online experience to not exhaust me & make me pissed and anxious (even if half of da tumblr is like. already laser-focused on making this a shit experience for everyone who stumbles upon their fuckass posts huh hfgjhjhjd)

anyway i'm listening & learning & blocking even MORE tags & not looking at SHIT until i play the game myself <3 For Real this time. "oh but surely it's just an innocent opinion and not a spoiler or anything--" that is the devil talking. all posts abt veilguard rn are full of shit, on account of The Game Isn't Fucking Out Yet How Are You Guys Already Having Novel-Length Opinions (TM)!!!! anyway i simply don't need that kind of energy in my life

i enjoy these games too much to be chased outta here by deranged drama i'm not even a part of again 😭 get fucked & god unbless

[fooltofancy]

whyyyyy is my car payment coming through as like $700 instead of the normal $350 when i paid last month WHY

[tiredassmage]

you know i had to do it to 'im.

also to publicly immortalize that i've begun reading the viper job shorthand (vpr) as 'veeper' and i cannot be stopped.

[leafy-m]

My stupid story is 20k now how I do make it stop 😵

[fagdykevash]

idek how to format what i wanna say i'm just gonna ramble in tags b

[sepiasys]

God I fucking hate being the one who just is awake.

And idk if 👑 is here but he doesn't seem to be, or he just far away now or some shit I dont want to call him but also I just. The visual of him petting ☕️. It wouldn't be the first time because I'm fairly certain he's also been DRAWN as a person ☕️ could lay in the lap of. So idk maybe there's an in sys relationship to be had there but who fuckin knows (👑 isn't exactly the most frequent fronter. Despite popular belief(/j))

I'm probably totally trying to calm down now but it's really hard to (I just voice message ranted about shit ok I'm trying to mellow out now). Eventually I'll pass out, I swear. I swear to you that ☕️ and I are on opposite ends of stuff, that it's difficult to coexist/co front because we are just so opposing in our existence. But it's not impossible to directly switch from one of us to the other, it's happened plenty. But we just tend to fully push the other out ig idfk.

Ugh I'm starting to get mildly tired again, praying for sleep.

[cosmogyros]

Auditory processing issues suck SO HARD. I just spent about 1.5 hours watching the first half hour of a movie on YouTube, because I had so much trouble understanding the dialogue that I kept constantly having to go back and listen again and again and again, look up a transcript of the full film (the transcript contained mistakes, so it wasn't much help), compare and contrast various subtitle files available online, even cup my hands around my ears, etc. Just to figure out what the characters were saying to each other.

And it's not just literally understanding what words they say to each other, oh no. That's only the first step. The next step is figuring out what those characters MEAN when they say certain words. Like when a dude says "You know, I see, like, if we can get successful, it's, like, L-L, man… limos and Learjets," I feel like I'm having a stroke. I have to hit pause and sit there for a sec and ask myself a bunch of questions and do some research online.

Why did he say L-L? Why did he randomly say the initials of the two things he wants? Also, why does he specifically say 'Learjet'? When people dream of having a private jet, don't they normally say 'private jet'? I'd never heard the word Learjet before, so I had to go look it up to try to get more context, but that didn't really help. Is this a music biz reference I don't know? Is this a Canadian reference I don't know? If this happened once or twice during a movie, it would be no problem, but when I'm stopping and going back literally every two minutes, it takes for-fucking-ever to get through the film and my brain is So! Fucking! Exhausted!

I had to stop at about the half-hour mark. I felt like I was about to cry from frustration, so I quit for the night. I'll return to it in a day or two, when I've got a bit more mental energy, and try to work my way through the rest. If I can get through half an hour of film time per day (in an hour or so, however long it takes to get through that much), I can finish the movie in three days of watching. (And this is a movie I really, really WANT to see. I wouldn't waste a moment of my time struggling through it if I didn't care this much about it.)

Anyway. Sometimes when people say they "don't watch movies much", it doesn't necessarily mean they're being elitist snobs or whatever. Sometimes it's just so fucking challenging and exhausting to watch a movie that it leaves me feeling angry at my own body for being a dysfunctional piece of crap. I don't know if this counts as a "disability" and I'm not claiming that label because I don't want to step on any toes, but I have to admit that the mere prospect of watching a film often fills me with dread because it can be so intensely difficult for me (unless I just mentally check out and give up on understanding it completely, which is what I typically do when I'm watching with other people).

[die-tenebris]

a basic human right to privacy and solitude is just as important as being in community and being able to socialize

[mothymayhem]

GUYS,, MY BBYGIRL REZ IS BACK,, HOLY SHIT!!! THIS IS NOT A DRILL

I'M CRYINGGG, WHY MUST I WORK,,, I GOT 2 HOURS TIL I GO HOME, I'M GONNA GO FERAL

[im2tired4usernames]

I really love how fuckin asinine some of these weight loss tips people throw out at me (completely unprompted and unasked for also)

someone straight faced told me I should make my life miserable and sad and destroy a happy healthy strong five+ year relationship so I can "lose the happy relationship weight" and that "women gain weight when they are in safe relationships"

Which is fuckin insane I'm sorry? I'm glad you recognize I'm in a happy safe relationship with a good person such ye I fuckin love my wife dude! but I think you need to look at your relationship with yourself and your body and work on your own prejudices and self image because being willing to sacrifice a relationship??? To become thinner??????? Is fuckin miserable and unhealthy as fuck bro.