#god I’m so happy but this is so stupid

[ihardlyknowher3139]

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

(Entry 1) (pt 4)

Im tired too… again if you want context look at previous posts

So Sally and Tessa join me and we all just start laughing about all of that bullshit and how Patricia JUST realized that she instigated shit. And we just laughed about it and then we all went home. When I got home I realized that maybe ex bestie might have felt a little cornered in the argument (even tho they cornered themself in by starting the argument at all) and I knew that stuff like this could lead to strong emotions and them just not being ok mentally. So I reached through text separately to talk if they felt like there were unshared feelings. And it was all just them talking me about how I’m fully in the wrong. And I apologized that I made them feel like I didn’t care cuz I subconsciously texted them less. But like always they can’t apologize for anything cuz OBVIOUSLY they are right. I walked away feeling like I was completely wrong. My mom knew what was going on already cuz I had told her so she asked me what’s wrong. I told her and she said that I wasn’t in the wrong and this I just classic ex bestie. And then I realized that maybe I got gaslit. I realize that every time I was mad at them I would talk to them and tell them how I feel but every time ex bestie was mad at me, they would give me the silent treatment. Somehow it was always about them being the victim and I was the unreasonable one. Ex bestie at that conversation had asked where we were and I said that I don’t consider them a bestie but I’m fine with being just friends. And then ex bestie said they don’t want things that way. So we’re not friends anymore. Which feels weirdly freeing.

Bonus shit:

1. Remember Shane? Well me and Shane had became very nice friends in the past couple months and that seemed like a catalyst for how ex bestie was behaving. they were clearly jealous.

2. I had gone on a trip to a different state for a few days. And I hadn’t given my last tests cuz I was sick and I didn’t study for the retests cuz I was on a trip. Ex bestie sends me the schedule for re-tests. I am frustrated cuz I have to study 6 subjects in the next 2-3 days. So I was clearly frustrated and was expecting at-least some kind of motivation from ex bestie but all I got was a “I told you so” ass response. So in frustration I say “well that’s easy for you to say” and then ex bestie got mad at me and ghosted and ruined my trip in the last couple days of it. Ain’t that neat? I thought our friendship was ending BACK THEN. And I was clearly wrong. But I’m glad that it ended now.

3. I recently had sent a snap to everyone of me jamming and lip syncing to happier than ever on my Snapchat and if you know the lyrics you can guess it was a little pointed. But then I saw a notification that said “ *ex bestie* screen recorded chat” and then I was just on the floor laughing.

4. Ex bestie is always obsessed with looking “aesthetic” to the point where they had planned a picnic to “have fun” (but they really wanted insta pics) and they wouldn’t let me bring cola cuz it doesn’t match the aesthetic. :))))))))))))))

Anyways I’m tired fuck all of this. IM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

[crushedsweets]

I get so giddy and grateful and embarrassed everytime i think about the amount of people who have been so kind to me about a creepypasta au. Like creeped is very important to me cuz it KEPT ME PUSHINGGGG during kinda rough times and gave me an artistic outlet dedicated to childhood joys + grief + hope + just having Fun and I met a ton of really cool people because of it and I’ve had a lot of lovely people leave me nice messages and asks and make art and whatnot and it’s like guys. I’ll die for you.

[crab-people-overlord]

okay but can we talk about 'Mystery of the Urinal Deuce' because this episode is literally EVERYTHING when it comes to Stan and Kyle's friendship. Marsh is playing dumb the whole episode and Kyle is losing his goddamn mind over it. The betrayal. The DRAMA.

Stan in this scene knows damn well that everything is a conspiracy (he admits as much later in the episode and knows that Kyle thinks the same thing). And Kyle knows damn well that Stan out of everyone should also know this, because Stan is the one person he can usually count on to back him up on this type of shit. But Stan is the one messing with him in this episode, so we get these fun moments of Stan letting loose and enjoying pranking his friend Kyle. 

Many see the Assburger's duology as the establishment and turning point of Stan’s character. And while it certainly establishes his clinical depression, I’d argue it in no way establishes either his tendency towards depression/melancholy OR cynicism as both of those have always been present from the beginning (but that’s another discussion for another day. I already basically wrote an essay on that a longgg time ago that maybe I’ll share later).

When it comes to a true  ���turning point’ for Stan’s character, I think of ‘Raisin’s’ ‘from Season 7, which expands on his already present tendency towards sensitivity and annoyances with general society and evolves it into a deep melancholy and detachment from society (at times bordering on nihilism, something we see more of from Stan post Season 7’s ‘Raisins’ such as in the ‘Douche and Turd’ episode in Season 8 and many other episodes). I don’t see the ‘You’re Getting Old’ episode as the turning point for Stan’s character at all. I see it more as an extension of what I actually view as his turning point episode of ‘Raisin’s’. 

What I love about ‘Mystery of the Urinal Deuce’ is it is a post ‘Raisin’s’ episode where Stan just gets to play around, which is sadly something we just don’t see from Stan post-season 7 as often. 

Kyle has always been the easiest target for Cartman not even necessarily because of his traits, but because of his reactions. He is super reactive to everything, and Stan knows this. Unlike Cartman, Stan respects this and usually stands up for Kyle when this aspect of him is taken advantage of. But at the same time, this doesn’t mean that Stan doesn’t like to tease Kyle at times - because let’s be real; Kyle’s high reactivity would make it so fun to mess with him. And in this episode, Stan takes advantage of that. 

And while usually I hate people taking advantage of Kyle in this way, it is so goddamn refreshing to see Stan just being able to let go of all the heavy shit that’s been so key to his character emotionally post-Season 7 and just play around with his bestie in this episode, something I think that at the core of his character he ultimately just wants to be able to do at the end of the day. you can TASTE the shit-eating grin in his voice. he is having the TIME OF HIS LIFE watching Kyle spiral. stan tries so GODDAMN hard to find happiness throughout the series to no avail, so it’s refreshing the times he succeeds and gets to just actually be himself.

Later on in the episode, Stan is also just able to let loose. His ‘Well dude, maybe we’re just badass, have you ever thought of that?’ later on in the episode is said so nonchalantly with him literally smirking, and it cracks me up every time as he tries to appease Kyle’s doubts. He is thoroughly enjoying pranking his friend. 

like yes give me more of this next season?? give me more of stan actually getting to be a kid and mess around with his best friend instead of drowning in existential dread 24/7? please and thank you?

[who-always-pays-their-taxes]

like yeah obviously misinformation surrounding DC comics is really big rn but have we considered that every time you yell at someone online for not knowing a story line, you’re actively dissuading them from learning more? Like they’re not gonna pick up the comic you recommended when you’re over here like “can you even read??” or “*character* fans try not to be illiterate challenge!!” Nothing is going to come of that. You’re not doing anything helpful; you’re just being shitty bc you have more accurate information than they do. I have two phrases for you, “If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.” and “You catch more flies with honey” plz learn how to be kind, that’s just my recommendation.

[forourtomorrows]

private discussions

[happypeachsludgeflower]

Is there an existing genre that contains both heavy angst and ridiculous comedy? Because whatever genre that is called, I’m gonna need its tag name soon 🥸😂

[superbattrash]

Me, two weeks ago: hey mom, I won’t be here on the 23rd

Mom, already getting angry: why not? >:(

Me: I’m still on sick leave and I can’t do both days so I figured you’d rather I be here on Christmas Eve

Mom: …alright, I see your point. I guess that’s fine then. If you weren’t gonna show up for Christmas, I’d drag your ass down here and give you a reason to be sick.

Me: 🥲 yes, mother

FLASHFORWARD TO TODAY

Sis: uh, why is mom saying she doesn’t know anything about you not being here on the 23rd?

Me: for THE LOVE OF…..

Me, texting her: hi mom just a reminder that I won’t be joining you on Monday :) Can’t wait for Christmas tho haha

[vroomian]

I am not uniquely horrible!!

[applesandbannas747]

If the exciting announcement is a new novel imma have to dip

[hsslilly-blog]

hollywood u never specified what addison’s mother is sick with, or if it’s terminal; just that she’s really sick, right? rather, that she has been really sick (for a while). personally, i’ve always read it as if it were terminal. lmao not surprising. anyway you know what that means *hits her with dead parent beam*

[crowbasils]

havign cactiflorwer thgouhtrs……..

[thatone-churro]

if getting yelled at by people who don’t believe me until i got my managers involved in TWO separate positions today is an omen for how the rest of the month is going to go i think i’m really gonna kill myself

[thebutchprinxe]

someone please tell me everything’s gonna be ok

[imlitearllybluzlol]

I am literally bluz guys

if you want to disagree then talk to me

[loderlied]

posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh

[pepperpixel]

Hello! I watched your speedpaints on repeat when I was in middle school (like 6 years ago) and sometimes still go back and watch them for the sake of nostalgia and good music. I just wanted to let you know you’ve touched my life and left a print, thank you 🤍

Thank you. So so much. For sending me this??? The me who made all those youtube videos. Doesn’t exist anymore. Life got harder. In so many new and horrible ways. And that like. Spark to create kinda died. And also I had more important shit to worry about all of a sudden. But. Knowing that it left on impact on someone enough to send me a message. Years after I’ve stopped making them tho. Idk.. that means something.. I appreciate you didn’t forget about me! (/my videos lol. I kno u don’t kno me. My vids and art feel a bit like. An extension of me tho? In a way. But I kno that it’s not a 1:1 thing. My art an videos express thoughts ideas and feelings of mine. But they are not. Me. Just lil slivers of me.. Tiny lil portions from specific moments in time.)

Sometimes it feels like those videos were just a flash in the pan. A brief moment of attention and fame I didn’t grab onto hard enough… and now the moments long gone. but. I didn’t rlly want to grab onto it, I just wanted to make fun videos. And show off my music taste lol. And express. The music videos my brain would create in my head into the real world. And then I got too busy w real life kicking my ass. (Ps. life has now stopped kicking my ass!! It’s gotten better. Just. Not the same as it was before) Maybe I’ll get back into it one day. If I have any new ideas. Once I get stable and know what I’m doing. And get like an iPad or something so I don’t have to wrangle w my laptop lol. But yeah!!! Srry.. I’m rambling a lot.. this message just made me emotional ok! I’m being openly vulnerable in turn hopefully that’s not too weird lol. I’m happy my videos had an impact on your life!! That means. A fucking ton. Like. Words cannot properly express the weird happy feeling that gives me in my heart. Thank you so much!! For real!!! Srry for getting all in depth about my life again this message just!!! Struck an introspective chord w me!!!