#god I’m so happy but this is so stupid

[ihardlyknowher3139]

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

(Entry 1) (pt 4)

Im tired too… again if you want context look at previous posts

So Sally and Tessa join me and we all just start laughing about all of that bullshit and how Patricia JUST realized that she instigated shit. And we just laughed about it and then we all went home. When I got home I realized that maybe ex bestie might have felt a little cornered in the argument (even tho they cornered themself in by starting the argument at all) and I knew that stuff like this could lead to strong emotions and them just not being ok mentally. So I reached through text separately to talk if they felt like there were unshared feelings. And it was all just them talking me about how I’m fully in the wrong. And I apologized that I made them feel like I didn’t care cuz I subconsciously texted them less. But like always they can’t apologize for anything cuz OBVIOUSLY they are right. I walked away feeling like I was completely wrong. My mom knew what was going on already cuz I had told her so she asked me what’s wrong. I told her and she said that I wasn’t in the wrong and this I just classic ex bestie. And then I realized that maybe I got gaslit. I realize that every time I was mad at them I would talk to them and tell them how I feel but every time ex bestie was mad at me, they would give me the silent treatment. Somehow it was always about them being the victim and I was the unreasonable one. Ex bestie at that conversation had asked where we were and I said that I don’t consider them a bestie but I’m fine with being just friends. And then ex bestie said they don’t want things that way. So we’re not friends anymore. Which feels weirdly freeing.

Bonus shit:

1. Remember Shane? Well me and Shane had became very nice friends in the past couple months and that seemed like a catalyst for how ex bestie was behaving. they were clearly jealous.

2. I had gone on a trip to a different state for a few days. And I hadn’t given my last tests cuz I was sick and I didn’t study for the retests cuz I was on a trip. Ex bestie sends me the schedule for re-tests. I am frustrated cuz I have to study 6 subjects in the next 2-3 days. So I was clearly frustrated and was expecting at-least some kind of motivation from ex bestie but all I got was a “I told you so” ass response. So in frustration I say “well that’s easy for you to say” and then ex bestie got mad at me and ghosted and ruined my trip in the last couple days of it. Ain’t that neat? I thought our friendship was ending BACK THEN. And I was clearly wrong. But I’m glad that it ended now.

3. I recently had sent a snap to everyone of me jamming and lip syncing to happier than ever on my Snapchat and if you know the lyrics you can guess it was a little pointed. But then I saw a notification that said “ *ex bestie* screen recorded chat” and then I was just on the floor laughing.

4. Ex bestie is always obsessed with looking “aesthetic” to the point where they had planned a picnic to “have fun” (but they really wanted insta pics) and they wouldn’t let me bring cola cuz it doesn’t match the aesthetic. :))))))))))))))

Anyways I’m tired fuck all of this. IM FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

[crushedsweets]

I get so giddy and grateful and embarrassed everytime i think about the amount of people who have been so kind to me about a creepypasta au. Like creeped is very important to me cuz it KEPT ME PUSHINGGGG during kinda rough times and gave me an artistic outlet dedicated to childhood joys + grief + hope + just having Fun and I met a ton of really cool people because of it and I’ve had a lot of lovely people leave me nice messages and asks and make art and whatnot and it’s like guys. I’ll die for you.

[forourtomorrows]

private discussions

[who-always-pays-their-taxes]

like yeah obviously misinformation surrounding DC comics is really big rn but have we considered that every time you yell at someone online for not knowing a story line, you’re actively dissuading them from learning more? Like they’re not gonna pick up the comic you recommended when you’re over here like “can you even read??” or “*character* fans try not to be illiterate challenge!!” Nothing is going to come of that. You’re not doing anything helpful; you’re just being shitty bc you have more accurate information than they do. I have two phrases for you, “If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.” and “You catch more flies with honey” plz learn how to be kind, that’s just my recommendation.

[happypeachsludgeflower]

Is there an existing genre that contains both heavy angst and ridiculous comedy? Because whatever genre that is called, I’m gonna need its tag name soon 🥸😂

[vroomian]

I am not uniquely horrible!!

[applesandbannas747]

If the exciting announcement is a new novel imma have to dip

[crowbasils]

havign cactiflorwer thgouhtrs……..

[thatone-churro]

if getting yelled at by people who don’t believe me until i got my managers involved in TWO separate positions today is an omen for how the rest of the month is going to go i think i’m really gonna kill myself

[chaosinstigator]

oh I’m gonna be absolutely useless at work today

[thebutchprinxe]

someone please tell me everything’s gonna be ok

[imlitearllybluzlol]

I am literally bluz guys

if you want to disagree then talk to me

[loderlied]

posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh

[pepperpixel]

Hello! I watched your speedpaints on repeat when I was in middle school (like 6 years ago) and sometimes still go back and watch them for the sake of nostalgia and good music. I just wanted to let you know you’ve touched my life and left a print, thank you 🤍

Thank you. So so much. For sending me this??? The me who made all those youtube videos. Doesn’t exist anymore. Life got harder. In so many new and horrible ways. And that like. Spark to create kinda died. And also I had more important shit to worry about all of a sudden. But. Knowing that it left on impact on someone enough to send me a message. Years after I’ve stopped making them tho. Idk.. that means something.. I appreciate you didn’t forget about me! (/my videos lol. I kno u don’t kno me. My vids and art feel a bit like. An extension of me tho? In a way. But I kno that it’s not a 1:1 thing. My art an videos express thoughts ideas and feelings of mine. But they are not. Me. Just lil slivers of me.. Tiny lil portions from specific moments in time.)

Sometimes it feels like those videos were just a flash in the pan. A brief moment of attention and fame I didn’t grab onto hard enough… and now the moments long gone. but. I didn’t rlly want to grab onto it, I just wanted to make fun videos. And show off my music taste lol. And express. The music videos my brain would create in my head into the real world. And then I got too busy w real life kicking my ass. (Ps. life has now stopped kicking my ass!! It’s gotten better. Just. Not the same as it was before) Maybe I’ll get back into it one day. If I have any new ideas. Once I get stable and know what I’m doing. And get like an iPad or something so I don’t have to wrangle w my laptop lol. But yeah!!! Srry.. I’m rambling a lot.. this message just made me emotional ok! I’m being openly vulnerable in turn hopefully that’s not too weird lol. I’m happy my videos had an impact on your life!! That means. A fucking ton. Like. Words cannot properly express the weird happy feeling that gives me in my heart. Thank you so much!! For real!!! Srry for getting all in depth about my life again this message just!!! Struck an introspective chord w me!!!

[pissfizz]

I’m going to lose my mind oh my god I am so scared for this quincenera wtf

[iamthekarmapolice]

is it fucked up and silly of me to say that this change in season is triggering my homesickness again and making me feel like all the progress I’ve made is gone