#god I need to post on this blog more lmao
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#asks!#ghostycrowagain#NEEKS HI HELLO :DDD welcome to the oc blog uwu#god I need to post on this blog more lmao#wassup :)
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my sibling is starting to write fic and it's so. like they've been drawing for forever and never seem insecure about art. but writing is still new to them! so the fic isn't working how they want it to. i got to point at their pile of like, 20 something filled full size sketchbooks and go, look, you've made all this art, practiced all this time to be good. and how many things have you written? 3? you keep going! you keep doing it and it will be countless one day!
#ramble tag#my siblings... i get mushy when it comes to them#truly nothing in life is more important than my babies. who are not babies but beside the point#(THEYLL BE ADULTS SOON. SOB.)#feels so inappropriate to post about them on this blog but as i have said before. they follow my main#i just need to talk about them sometimes or I'll just lie in bed and cry lmao#sibling i started this post talking about is so smart and creative and fucking /organized/ as all hell#honestly both my siblings are scary driven#it would make me cripplingly insecure if i didnt just love them so damn much. if i wasnt so fucking proud of them#i hate that i couldnt be someone more worth looking up to but i am beyond overjoyed to see them grow into their own regardless#these two are possibly up there as the smartest people ive ever met even if theyre still just teenagers#i can't wait to see who they turn into. who they'll grow up be#(always be my babies in addition tho)#i see the world in them#im immeasurably happy to have the siblings i do#really starting to realize that yknow what? im not missing anything by being aro#by not having much (if any) sexual/romantic shit in my life#those two are my pride and joy and make me happier than any of that ever could#anyways this is a secret dont tell them i said that#psa dont talk to me about my siblings i can keep going until i pass out#god took everything that is Good and put into these precious tiny humans and im just lucky enough to be here !!!#ok i need to stop. its 2am hi
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Could've left me just the way you found me, but you came and put your wings around me. You went out of your way, to fix what you didn't break.
This song is so incredibly Sam & Darlin' coded and no one can tell me otherwise.
[lots of lyrical analysis below the cut] [there's also a short little fanfic blurb of them stargazing down there too (this post got really out of hand lmao)]
For those not fully caught up, note that the following commentary contains various spoilers for Sam and Darlin's stories.
Note: Unfortunately this song is gendered, using the word 'girl' several times. Which sucks a little bit for immersion purposes, not only for keeping Darlin' gender-neutral, but also because I see this song as a duet between them, and Darlin' obviously wouldn't be addressing Sam with the word 'girl' either. So! As with most songs on their playlist, we're just gonna mentally omit any gendered terms we come across.
Side note: Frustratingly, this is one of those songs that didn't really even need to gender the subject in the first place. No part of the story or message is lost without it. But alas, many songs are like that, and so the playlist-makers of the world shall continue to suffer. [/lh]
Anyways, preamble's over. It's lyric time now yay!
Sam's Part
I was a ten-year train wreck
Technically for Sam I suppose it was 13 years, but ten is close enough (and 'ten' admittedly flows a lot better in the rhythm of the song than 'thirteen' would.) Anyways, we're not here to split hairs, (I have to remind myself), we're just here to point out similarities.
In Sam's Dec. '22 HBW, he says "For the last 13 years or so I haven't had to care too much about how I look. Seemed a little redundant after turnin', considerin' I didn't wanna be around much'a anybody anyway."
I think he's mentioned or alluded to that roughly 13 year period of time more than once, but that's the one I remember best so it's the example I'm using. There's still about 4 Sam audios I've yet to listen to as of making this post, so if I'm missing some Key Lore I'll edit this later. But for now, I don't think Sam has given many specifics on exactly how bad things got during that time. Luckily, 'train wreck' is a pretty broad and subjective term, so it easily covers any degree to which he may have fallen apart during those years.
It also feels like a very 'him' way of quickly brushing over the details of his past/his hurt, as he seems to tend to do with Darlin', (not all the time ofc but it's still something I've noticed) putting his own hurt on the backburner to prioritize and attend to theirs. Even outside of his dynamic with them, I think as a healer, it's something he learned to do. And now he does it with everyone. Put on a brave face, compartmentalize things and unpack them later, etc. I could go on and on but there'll be time for that in other posts I'm sure. For now, lets get back to the song at hand.
With a last-call longneck
Due to personal reasons, I've yet to decide if I want to HC him as having used alcohol as a coping mechanism during that time. I don't recall him having mentioned alcohol much, if at all, (maybe one mention of whiskey that I don't have time to find right now) so I don't think it's necessarily canon that he did, but it's certainly possible. My personal preferences aside, I'll admit it makes for some good additional angst. (And- self-indulgently- it makes some other songs on my playlist for them more fitting.) So, for the sake of this song, let's imagine that he did.
I was searchin', I'd been hurt real bad
This one feels pretty self-explanatory given what Alexis did, (and, if you wanna get even angstier with it, whatever his family did earlier on in his life) so there isn't much commentary to add on my end.
I HC that in spite of 'not wanting to be around anybody', he- like Darlin- still had a tiny part of himself buried deep down that was, in a way, 'searching' for someone to find solace in. (No this isn't me projecting onto them both haha what are you talking about-)
Movin' on, gettin' sidetracked One step forward and five back
This is generally applicable enough that I don't feel the need to give too much of a specific example. Anyone who's recovered or is recovering from trauma knows this non-linear, back-and-forth struggle well already, and I'm sure he was no stranger to it.
If I were to give some examples though, I could point to Darlin's (and subsequently, Sam's) encounter with Alexis at the summit, or the shit that Quinn dredged up about Fredrick and threw at Sam in the interrogation room. Those are both more recent examples and I imagine these lines of the song to be coming from a place of him prior to meeting Darlin', but still, they're some instances where I'm sure he felt like the past was pulling him back in. I'm sure that there's been many throughout those 13 years that we were never witness to.
Not your fault, I was scared to fall
This line reminds me of their 'Cuddles and Confessions' audio. I don't think he ever explicitly said he was 'scared' per se, so afaik there's no specific line I can quote, but in that and every audio prior, he was obviously hesitant to admit, perhaps even to himself, that he was gradually falling for them. Even after the initial confession, there's certain limits of his (e.g. biting) that he carries for far longer, and some that I (and others) HC that he'll carry forever. So this line feels to me like him reassuring Darlin' that his reluctance isn't the fault of them, but his past.
Darlin's Part
You were the star in the pitch black Shine the way on the way back
We don't have any canon instances of them comparing Sam to a star, but I can see it being something they'd say (perhaps less poetically, but the sentiment would be there) one night while laying up on their roof watching the stars with him. Maybe they're dead-tired, talking nonsense with lidded eyes at the end of a long day, fighting sleep in favor of more time spent with him.
"What- what're you pointin' at Darlin'?"
Their hazy focus is trained on the brightest star visible in their line of sight, arm stretched out to the sky above them. "That really bright one, to the... to the left."
Sam does his best to follow their less-than-specific directions of 'to the left', their pointed finger doing little to help given the difference in perspective. Luckily, after all these years, he knows this stretch of night sky like the back of his hand, so it isn't hard to locate the brightest one. Ghosting his fingers up along their arm, he takes their hand in his and brings it back down to earth. "Okay, yeah, I see it now. What about it though?"
"That's you." They say, matter-of-factly.
"That's me?" He questions, humor in his tone.
"Mhm." They nod with finality, blinking slow.
Sam considers the odd statement for a moment before gently correcting them. "I'm uh, I'm pretty sure that's Sirius, actually."
They scoff. "I am being serious."
Sam stifles a laugh into their hair. "No- no I mean- like... what's another name for it... Oh! It's also called the Dog Star."
"C'mon Sam, at least call it the Wolf Star if you're trying to turn this around on me..."
He shakes his head and readies himself to explain further, but they cut him off before he can start. "But no- no, this one isn't about me. That's you."
He decides to play along, finding something endearing in their overtired nonsense. "Okay... then would'ja be so kind as to explain to this confused old man just how, or why that star is me?"
Their frown is audible in their voice as they latch onto the wrong part of his sentence. "You're not old, Sam. ...Do I need to tell Asher to kick the jokes down a notch?"
He smiles at their over-protectivity. "There'll be no need for that, now. Was just a joke, darlin', I promise."
They huff, but thankfully shift focus back to the prior topic. "It's... I dunno. It's just you, Sam. It's... bright. Light. Something warm, out there in the cold dark. Standing out amongst all the rest. Calling to me, stealing my attention. I... I didn't come out here looking for it, but there it is. ...There you were. In the dark. The only bright thing I'd seen in... fuck, in years. Years of chasing fleeting warmth, tripping over myself in the pitch black, falling into... places 'n people I shouldn't have. You were the light in that darkness. Even there, surrounded by the ghost of him. You outshone it. Your warmth didn't hurt. I didn't have to squint when I looked at you. You weren't the blinding sun. You were the brightest star I'd ever seen. You guided me back home."
In the back of their mind, they recall something they once heard, something about light, and time, and distance. Space. Something about... how you can see a star that's already burnt out, because it's light hasn't reached earth yet. The ghost of a star that's already died. Only still perceptible thanks to time, and distance.
They remember Sam's words, once whispered to them on this very roof.
"Whatever your choice is... I'm not gonna live forever. I made that decision a long time ago."
They think about dead stars.
They think about time.
"...-lin'? Darlin'?" Sam's calloused hand slides up their forearm, pulling them out of their thoughts. "There you are. Think I lost ya' for a minute there... you good?"
They look up at Sam, concern creasing his features, shadows cast across his face from the light of the dying stars above him.
They reach out, pulling him down into them. Burying their face into his collar, Sam's concern grows when he feels it saturate with tears. A human might struggle to hear their words, muffled against the thick fabric, but his hearing catches it just fine.
"Don't burn out too quick. Please. I still need you here. I don't- I don't wanna be left in the dark again. Please, please Sam. Don't leave me here. I'm not selfish enough to ask you for forever, but please. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet."
.......Whoopsies! Really, genuinely didn't mean to improv an entire scene there, good god. Also didn't mean to swerve hard into angst at the end but uh. that's what came out! so I'm rolling with it lmao. Aaanyways let's move on, it's getting late and this is a song analysis post, not a fic.
Out of nowhere, answered all my prayers
'Out of nowhere' reminds me of Sam's words from the same HBW video I referenced earlier. "You came into my life like a damn wreckin' ball. There was no preparing for that, clothing or otherwise." While those were Sam's words, not Darlin's, I still feel like they feel similarly to how suddenly Sam came into their life as well. (Not in a bad way, mind you!)
[the significance of 'answered all my prayers' edges into my own personal more headcanon-y/personal/OC-ified Darlin' territory, so we can just gloss over this one for the sake of at least attempting to keep this more universally applicable]
Picked up the towel that I threw in Took in a heart that was ruined
Again, largely self-explanatory I feel. (*proceeds to explain anyways*) I imagine that Darlin' was at the point of throwing in the towel, hellbent on a solo-mission to find Quinn regardless of the danger it posed to them. I doubt they were looking toward the future anymore, (to reference Sam,) fully willing to throw themself at their problems until they really did break.
The specific use of 'ruined' hits hard here, because after everything they went through with Quinn, and especially after he recounted it all to Sam in that interrogation room, I imagine that they really, truly did feel ruined.
Showed me the past ain't a tattoo Loved me even when you didn't have to
These lines in particular make me sick with emotion every time I hear this song, because I feel like they hit the nail on the head for how Darlin' feels.
I'll be here citing various quotes all night that I feel showcase that sentiment, but we don't have time for that! So instead I'm just pointing to the entirety of 'Quinn's Aftermath' video, and leaving you with this single quote from it.
"Everything that he said reflects nothin' on you, and everything on him."
Equally Applicable Lines
And I don't know why Why you saw something in me, baby But you saw right through All the pain, and you came and saved me Yeah, I know you didn't leave me lonely Weren't the one that put the heartbreak on me Picked up the pieces It wasn't the mess that you made Could've left me just the way you found me But you came and put your wings around me You went out of your way To fix what you didn't break
Again, I think these lines are all pretty self-explanatory, and are just as accurate coming from either one of them. To me, at least, their entire dynamic is that they saved each other, in their own ways.
(But I will admit, the final verses about 'going out of your way to fix what you didn't break' are definitely conjuring up memories of Sam in the early days, literally going out of his way to visit and heal Darlin' after their fight with the two vamps. In general, his continued/repeated healing of them after they once again hurt themselves is the very literal definition of fixing what he didn't break.
But! While we may have more blatant examples of Sam being 'the fixer' so to speak, I think he'd argue that Darlin' has done plenty fixing of their own. Physical wounds aren't the only things that need healing, after all.)
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[shameless self-promo of my Sam & Darlin' playlist for those few of u interested enough to make it to the very end of this wall of text. if u liked this then u might like some of the other songs on there soooo maybe go check it out and maybe perhaps give it a follow so i can get a little serotonin boost or dopamine or whatever the chemical is that's released when Number Go Up. ...okay that's it i hope u enjoyed my fixation-induced ramblings! thank u and goodnight]
#redacted audio#redacted sam#redacted darlin#redacted playlists#redacted asmr#redactedverse#music stuff#Spotify#Seven's Blorbo Songs#<- starting a dedicated tag for these kinda posts bc i feel like there will be. Many more#gotta go dig up the few i've made in the past and retroactively tag them. they weren't as Involved as this one but i'll still include 'em#good fucking god this post got long. i started it at like 2pm and now it's almost 8. i've been locked in on blorbo analysis for 6 hours#don't ask why it took That long to make this post okay i am. very slow. but i had a good time so it's all good#there's like 10 other things i needed to spend my free time on today but this post Demanded to be made asap so here we are#i've been stewing on this song for several days since i found it and i literally had to make this post to get it out of my system#i was gonna make One Big Post to discuss the entire playlist at once but it's got 80+ songs on it by now...#and i like to Yap if u cannot tell so it literally wouldn't even all Fit in a single post. so i'll probably just do individual songs#or maybe a few per post if they all fit a certain theme and aren't enough to justify their own post#anyways i. am so very very very in love with Sam. if you. cannot tell. from the entirety of this post. and the state of my blog#about halfway thru this post i realized i perhaps should've just written a songfic but those take so much more effort and time#and i'm already editing two that'll come out later this month. with two more in the wings. so i can't afford to start another#(not Redacted fics btw sorry but in spite of the little drabble i did on this post i'm actually scared to write for this fandom)#i don't feel confident enough not to mischaracterize them. plus i'm already juggling more than i can handle anyways#anyways the drabble + this post in general probably isn't very good lmao i Should like. draft it and edit it tomorrow with fresh eyes#but i wanna go ahead and send it out into the world and just let it be. it's not that big of a deal
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untagged triggering mental health vent blogs on this site are the bane of my existence
#esp when they put them into cutesy meme format so even blocking out words won't catch it#plus it's hard to block the right tags bc i don't necessarily wanna filter all mental health posts#(tho anything like 'actuallydisorder' is a p good option to block and never look back imo)#i just feel like there's so many posts like 'im a worthless loser and there's no good in the world everything is hopeless'#but it's formatted like a jokey relatable shitpost so people just rb it#but that shit is triggering!!!!!!#genuinely listening to other people's depressive spirals in great detail can be. tough.#when ur constantly fighting those thoughts yourself listening to someone say all of it like they're so sure it's reality#just makes that even more challenging y'know#anyway this isn't to say i think people shouldn't have vent blogs god knows we all need to do that sometimes#but i wish they'd tag it better and use tags that like indicate it isn't just a normal post abt mental health#like tag it 'vent' or 'toxicity' or something lmao#bri babbles
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there's this one photo I've seen floating around a few times with the words "I wish we could've met as kids, you would've loved the softer me" and I think about it every now and then
so ... art ʅ(๑ ᷄ω ᷅ )ʃ
#''what if they met as kids'' AU basically djdkskl#also i discovered this rly fun music album and was listening to it while working on this fjdksl its called Portrait by The 5th Element !!#theres this one rly weird song on it fjdkdl I assume theyre american bc its like uhh. that one american thing. declaration of independence?#idk fjfkdl i think thats what that is. no idea though im not american SHSJSKL#ANYWAYS GOOD ALBUM besides that one part of the medley song but even that is kind of a fun melody to it#BUT YEAH. meeting as kids. i want to explore the concept a little more fhfkdl#i think it'd be sweet to explore them being friends and going on adventures and OH GOD im just turning Guz into an OC now arent i... OOPS#OH WELL. INTO THE REALM OF OOC WE GOOOOO BRAVELY MARCHING INTO THE FOG DJDKDL#HE'S NOT AN OC HE'S STILL THE SAME CHARACTERRR IM JUST SQUISHING HIM AROUND LIKE SILLY PUTTY AND SEEING WHAT HAPPENS#THE ONLY ISSUE WITH THIS. is that i would need to remember what i was like as a kid. but i do not hold those memories fjfkdl#those are held by another part of the brain. ACK!! good thing i have imagination and can make shit up based on childhood report cards LMAO#dandyshucks#junebug 🪲#dandy doodlebugs#💜so good at being in trouble#MAYBE KIND OF A WEIRD POST FOR A SELFSHIP BLOG. idk if anyone else has done this. BUT ITS MY BLOG I GUESS#boldly going into the unknown... excelsior!!! onwards and upwards!! new AUs and ideas to explore!! lots of fun to be had!!#💜a boy and his bug🪲
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Was gonna sleep in. Instead woke up randomly at 5 am and have been writing a fix it steddyhands fic since then
I work in like. six hours. I have gotten maybe four hours sleep. Today is a double shift day that'll have me working bit late into the night.
This is fine.
#text post#i want to go back to sleep for a bit but#first gonna make sure i have this draft in a place i can pick it up again to finish later#get up and maybe hit the bathroom to see how my hair looks post sleep lol#to figure out if Housemate and I need to do any additional hair cutting later to even the current cut out#there's also a bunch of finale related posts i wanna reblog to my vent blog#bc those are all mostly going there now since even with anon off ppl can't behave which isn't surprising but also#god im tired can i just be allowed my complex and to my own frustration occasionally conflicting emotions abt this show#that hit literally all my special interests and mirrored my own traumas in such a huge way as to make me work on parts of myself#id previously resigned to just shoving in the box in my head#apparently the answer is no so. private vent blog gets those reblogs#and this blog will get a more neutered and rare set of reblogs abt the finale if any#and way more fix it fic and focusing on what i do still appreciate abt the show and of course me posting abt izzy lol#that's never going away lmao so if it bugs you that i still love and post abt him just unfollow and block me lmaooo#how you wouldn't have already by this point is boggling if it actually bugged anyone that much but#i digress im tired and should try and get back to sleep. maybe dream up more for this latest fic draft
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HI!!!!! whilst eating dinner i watched the “once an otter always an otter” number retirement video on youtube and thought “ooh. cool. let me see what people are saying”. opened tumblr. saw your most recent reblog, pressed play. saw DYLAN STROME say the word “davo” and immediately had to pause it lol. put my fork down to boot. like…..flabbergasted. genuinely. man oh man. my goodness. unpaused. the past tense “it was (WAS!!!!) an honor to be your friend” (😧) and the “and hopefully we can make some more [memories] in the future” and the fade to black. SHUT UPPPPPPPPP. OH MY GOD…………….i don’t have anything of substance to add just im sick!!! im sickened!!!!!! it’s never overrrrrrrrrr. absolutely unbelievable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! frank ocean ivy trust and believe you WILL be looped for the foreseeable future……..they’ll never be those kids again!!!!! and the game’s in a week and a half!!!!!!! gahhhhhhh. nuts crazy bonkers etc etc. going to have an absolutely exceedingly normal one about it for sure!!!!!! hope you have a good one!!!!!!!
also! just for future reference: do you prefer asks of this nature sent to this blog or your hockey one? thank you!!
"Centaur over Tomer Butte" [amended, abridged], Robert Wrigley
you know. i don't think i actually ever registered dylan saying "davo". i think my ears just decided i didn't need to hear that, for the good of my brain to continue functioning. who up having their present haunted by the ghosts of the past who are less like ghosts and more like someone you keep forgetting walked out of the next room but also aren't quite sure if they came back and you've only just worked up the courage to call out to them. schrödinger's best friend who might or might not be there in your future to make more memories with. but at least this time you opened the door and left it cracked for him to crawl back through.
#me when i. when i. like i was looking for a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT POEM to reply because that is unfortunately the arbitrary mechanism#brain decided to employ here and then this one was like NO ACTUALLY i am invading your brainwaves. i wanted to find all my dylan/zach you#you say his name just to keep him for a while longer in your mouth bring more of him into the world poems wherever they went because.#as mentioned. number one actually i will also say i didn't have the sound on for the first few seconds of the video because human error#of needing to hit unmute BUT my brain :) was protecting me :) from having to think about stromer :) davo-ing him :) and i am LOSING IT#idk. idk. poem felt relevant because we were talking about stars & i have very long had a note about connor & orbits even if it's re: leon#and alsO i keep looking at ash's post about a wobbler and his devoted valet because i'm in love with it and it IS them and so i also#immediately went OH MY GOD but that was second the first part was me going “ME BREATHING DOWN HIS NECK FOR A WHILE IN A FURTHER FOREVER”#DYLAN YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE DYLAN SOME ODD NUMBER OF YEARS OUT STILL TALKING ABOUT CONNOR LONG AFTER YOU'D THINK HE COULD STOP & FORGET and#we were talking about ghosts with bleachers and thinking about like. don't assume ghosts were birthed by other ghosts maybe nothing went#wrong!! the it was an honor to be your friend!! cody's post that was like we all want to know what happened in their friendship and it#sounds like maybe dylan wants to know too! y'all i can't BE HERE there's something percolating and i don't know what it is. smth smth#orion the hunter leon is a scorpio but ALSO i need everyone to understand how complex this square is like i don't hate leon and i need him#to be okay if we have mcstrome & viceversa. anyway i meant the distance between stars forever? OH ALSO I FORGOT TO MENTION ME READING TOMER#LAUGHING LIKE HAHA STROMER right there and then editing the poem so it said stromer & all of you could suffer with me. in a further forever#do u think they promised each other forever when they were kids. do u? do u think the arrow drawn at the heart was one dylan always knew#connor would have to fire? shout out to the verse before that said what lives on that map (charted lightning strikes) never sees the light#& it [s]t[r]omer was significant once before a lava from the west filled its valley in. caved its <3. connor breaking dylan's <3 -> ghost#liv in the replies#anyway made myself more unhinged with the schrödinger's best friend and them missing each other thinking about like. dylan wasn't there fr.#something something time loops and alternate universes i KNOW it's kinda terrible but this is how you lose the time war-esque element#(bc i also just finished reading welcome to forever) of them never seeing each other for real right like. always just an observation. does#he care or does he not. a video of dylan a tweet from connor a text a missed invitation an instagram story the levels of separation and by#god YES i will willfully misinterpret schrödinger & also smtms quantum physics what else do u have a niche interest for. planetary bodies b#ALSO! idrc but yes pls if hrpf related (all side blogs we die like men) send asks over there & maybe i will be more tag story organized#(also while this blog LOOKS more active bc i have a queue for months i am actually more active on the hockey blog lmao) & bc also i want to#share your asks with everyone there. duh. also if i did not tell u already BESTIE THE DMS IF YOU WANT!!! i love receiving asks. u were#already immediately my friend when u sent me one & like. now i would die for u we're having conversations. but if u want a poem send here#p.s. everyone tells me i'd love frank ocean lmao but i haven't listened to him yet for literally no reason. maybe this is the stars alignin
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TW for my usual unhinged stance on puppets, if you're following me, you know. If you're not, I'm sorry (not sorry). ((If you're the author or narrator, I'm actually sorry.))
Okay, so because I'm allowed to be freaky on main about puppets on this site, I just wanna tell everyone, because everyone should know that creepypasta narrator Lighthouse Horror just posted a story (by author Alonso Solis) about an evil puppet show a few days ago, and I just listened, and I loved it.
youtube
Now onto freaky business:
Headcanoning the main char as a puppetfucker bc c'mon, that bromance, the way he lovingly describes Mr. Smiley's appearance, what he does before leaving the old studio towards the end... Just... Mmmm... *chef's kiss* love this kinda content. I'll sleep soundly dreaming I could have someone like that. Y'know? Big, glassy eyes, big grin, secret evil laugh, mildly self-animate...
#god i love puppets so much man especially the evil ones but not exclusively yknow#even the word puppet is cute like puppies and i feel warm and fuzzy inside no pun intended (who am i kidding. fully intended)#need me a freak like that#also should probably tw for the story just general creepypasta themes evil puppets kids dyin unreality dubious morality in the main char etc#thats not an exhaustive list tho im not qualified to give an exhaustive list this is a thirst post i just wanna cover all my bases here#puppets#man im not even posting about puppets on my puppet named blog (it was just recommended when i typed that)#and thats a damn shame lmao i should make more so i can revive that blog (its just my art blog i gave up on separating from the main)#suggestive#for the post not the video#creepypasta#(tagging for a tw sorry to put that in the tag if ppl use the tag i have no idea i dont usually post ab creepypastas on here but ...#... given i saw a bunch of ouppet stuff earlier i remembered i can be weird on here about puppets. i guess anywhere...#...but here feels natural to be weird ab them)#ngl i couldnt stop thinkin of ... you know who ... with the description and how the main char keeps him around all the time#mmmmmmmm otp5eva in a different flavour mmmmmmmmm#should probably also confess that#OBLIGATORY: 'DISCLAIMER: i'M HI (HIGH)' TAG#bc im probably gna regret typing all this tmr but fuck man#i love puppets dudeeeeeee i can scream about it forever#ok this is enough im getting too sappy im def gonna regret that#Cori.exe#Post.exe#video#horror#sorry steven and alonso lol i hope yall are too busy to see this im totally normal about puppets it was all a joke#((whispering to followers: its not a joke dont worry i wouldnt play u like that))#((puppetfucker 4 lyfe bruhhh believe it))#((fuck man i love them so much))#i want more evil puppet/etc horror content theres never enough to satisfy me i am insatiable about puppets in horror
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It’s fascinating to me how many people read my posts when I put organizational tags on them instead of just. continuing my rambling in the tags….. it’s almost like attaching searchable terms to your posts puts them in front of eyes other than those of your 2.5 inactive followers…..
#is my flop blogger era over????#I’ve been a flop blogger for like 10 years I don’t know if I can handle the attention….#46 notes on a post is like going worldwide viral to me#my most liked post ever got idk like 100 something notes? more than 100 but less than 200 and I was like oh my god I’m gonna need a#bodyguard to go outside like people are going to recognize me on the street I don’t know how to handle paparazzi what am I gonna do!!!!!#ironically I don’t even think I used any tags on it I think it was just when I had a girlfriend who was kinda tumblr famous and she must#have reblogged it and everyone else saw it on her blog lmao
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the unhinged mav drawing posts the day after tomorrow and i've debated a million times whether to let it post or create an account for these type of not-so-sfw drawings
#then again i put it under a read more + tagged it as much as i could + still put warnings before the read more.#so idk what else im supposed to do. imma be honest and say i created a kinky sideblog to reblog shit im too embarrassed to reblog here#but i have yet to use it lol. i could use it maybe?? but then having a following is kinda hard ooooof.#i still dont have that much on the general art blog. it took me a lot to get 9 fucking followers. its ok though#i appreciate the 9 people who saw my art and decided to follow; thats more than i think i deserve lol (and i have 55 on insta)#but thats also why i dont want anyone to unfollow i will die.#theres the chance i either attract kinky people who like to see a boy with a collar and a leash all bruised and with cuts#or 🐜s who will cancel me for having not so approved kinks; or just kinks in general#(i never talked about mav's paraph1l1a directly on there; although i have a drawing queued for tomorrow that very vaguely hints at it)#(but you literally need to know more about his character to even realize lmao and i have yet to write his toyhouse)#also; you know how 🐜s are. violence ok but sex no. i could draw someone all gory but if the context is kinky#then suddenly is irredeemable and how can i do that to the poor pixels who belong to me.#anyway this whole post was me wondering whether i should cancel the posting and post it in the kink blog i have#or let it post in the regular art blog and god knows what will happen. idk as i said getting even the slightness of disapproval#will send me into a spiral. a.#iván whispers
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i finally finished the stone ocean anime 🥲 what do now
#i wish there were actual jojo blogs on here i would definitely post about it more often if there was more than one (1) lmao#the fanart is good but i dont have the energy to sift thru all that like i once did#i just want gifs and manga panels to reblog plssss#anyway how bout dio and pucci my god that was gay#WHERE ARE THE VAMPIRE/PRIEST THEMATICALLY RELIGIOUS GIRLIES WHEN I NEED THEM
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more and more (jjk mainly) fic recs (pt. iii)♡
hello and welcome to more of my fic recs!! credit to all these talented writers, pls check out their other works too!! featuring: (jjk) megumi, yuuji, satoru, suguru, toji (mha) katuski (lmao just for the one post because it NEEDED to be shared) masterlist recs pt. i pt. ii
: ̗̀➛ megumi fushiguro x reader
megumi thinks about how whipped (he is while impatiently waiting for you to text back)
fucking megumi in his baseball uniform (lengthier fic with dom! megumi... omg)
sharing a bed and cuddling (so soft i'm crying. i'm unsure if i've linked this before)
racer a.u. w/ bf megumi (in physical agony because i need this)
megumi is obsessed with yuuji's bimbo gf (i love LOVE love bimbo reader fics AHH)
: ̗̀➛ satoru gojo x reader
your kid shows you an ugly drawing (similar to the katsuki scenario i linked last time, so funny!!)
satoru comforts you after you have a nightmare (so fluffy and sweet... i'm bawling)
age gap w/ satoru, he teaches you to fuck (younger reader. god i love this)
satoru proposes to you :(( (i'm crying)
satoru fucking his chubby gf (help my pussy's gone crazy)
more satoru w/ chubby gf (so so much praise)
: ̗̀➛ geto suguru x reader
arguing with then fucking your ex suguru who is now a cult leader (omfg)
suguru fingers you during movie night w/ satoru and shoko (wow this fic definitely hit the spot. one of my favourites on this list)
'no one's made me cum before' (now this is relatable)
you're babysitting nanako + mimiko and are about to fuck their dad (ahhhhhh)
y/n is insecure and can't tell suguru ('it's not what he's made for' some heavy angst for the sick fucks that enjoy it)
step brother! suguru teaches you how to kiss (this damn fandom makes me read so much stepcest. disgusting! *saved immediately*)
suguru wonders if he should cut his hair (fluffy!! but the last line made me want to burst into tears!!)
: ̗̀➛ toji fushiguro x reader
smutty fic w/ crybaby reader (it's me i'm the crybaby. this author has SO many good toji fics, i linked one of their prison bf fics last time!!)
toji is so so big but he makes it fit (major size kink!!)
: ̗̀➛ yuuji itadori x reader
finally fucking roommate! yuuji (i am shocked this doesn't have more likes it was such an incredible read)
virgin! yuuji headcanons (he's just so whiney and such a good boy. omg i love fics where y/n is the more experienced one)
giggly sex drabble (the best type of sex i need more fics like this)
yuuji can't jack off to jennifer lawrence anymore because of YOU! (i think this initiated a yuuji phase for me...)
: ̗̀➛ katsuki bakugou x reader
gq couples quiz w/ katsuki (i am shocked this doesn't have ten thousand likes. it's perfect the characterisation is perfect. pls check out the creator's masterlist here everything is so so good)
multiple characters (jjk drabbles)
using your safe word (satoru + suguru)
boyfriend texts (satoru, suguru, kento, toji, megumi, yuuji, toge + choso)
riding, missionary or doggy? (satoru, suguru, kento, toji, choso. btw the right answer is doggy)
bf texts (satoru, suguru, kento, toji, choso, megumi, toge + yuuji)
unholy drabbles!! (toji, satoru + kento)
cute texts during your period!! (satoru, choso, toji, megumi, yuuji, toge)
: ̗̀➛ also multiple characters (drabbles w/ unspecified names then characters listed at the end? i don't know how to describe this sorry lol)
eating you out sloppily omg (aot + jjk + genshin + demon slayer)
tits, ass or thighs? (bleach + jjk + jjba + one piece + csm)
men that are obsessed with thick women (jjk + kny + aot + tokyo revengers)
general fucking headcanons (jjk + aot + haikyuu + tokyo revengers + genshin + sk8 + csm)
quick question!! should i still link the really successful fics / blogs (like 4k+ notes, some have up to 15k!!), as i'm sure you will have already encountered them in their respective tags? in other words, should i focus on linking fics that are less interacted with? pls let me know <3
#jjk x reader#mha x reader#megumi x reader#yuuji x reader#satoru x reader#suguru x reader#katsuki x reader#toji x reader#jjk fic recs#jjk drabbles
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1st century roman siege of jerusalem dashboard simulator
🐮 barkamtza
why does this shit always happen to me
#oh my goddd the ONE time it seems like people actually wanna hang out with me. #turns out they meant to invite kamtza instead #everyone hates me and i was SO fucking nice i offered to pay for the party #god i'm so pathetic. kms kms kms #they're gonna pay for this i swear #delete later
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📜 zekharya-ben-avkolas
Ok so obv it's not ok to sacrifice a blemished calf but the blemish is just on the eyelid? So maybe it's ok? But also and i don't want people to start going around thinking that it's ok to sacrifice blemished animals. But the thing is that if i don't bar Kamtza will tell the Romans we insulted them and that will be bad probably. And like no one likes bar Kamtza anyway will people really miss him..... but ugh neither of these seem like good things to do i don't feel like it's my place to make a decision about this :/
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🏛 vespasian reblogged
🏺neronero
off to war wish me luck! 🇲🇪🏹
🏺neronero
nvm guys. ✡️✡️
🏛 vespasian
my turn lol
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🧑🏽🦳 not-an-airport reblogged
🧑🏽🦳 not-an-airport
Hey everyone! These are difficult times, and some friends and I have put together some mutual aid resources for our community to have access to wheat, barley, wine, salt, oil, and wood! More info below the cut. Take care of yourselves! 🫶
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🧑🏽🦳 not-an-airport
fuck
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⚔️ biryonei-yerushalayim
anonymous asked:
Hey, I'm trying to ask this in good faith, and I hope you can take it that way. how can you possibly defend burning our grain stores. I understand that you want to radicalize more people but you're taking things too far. Jerusalem's blood is on your hands.
anon, what you need to understand is that the blame for the carnage in jerusalem lies primarily in the hands of the roman invaders and secondarily in the hands of the rabbis for refusing to resist. would you have told the hashmonaim not to resist their oppressors by any means necessary? just because this is getting inconvenient for you doesn't mean we shouldn't be doing it. it's frankly offensive that you'd imply that we, the defenders of jerusalem, should incur any blame for her current state.
#biryonim.answer #grain storage discourse
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🛡 goel-yisrael
did anyone else see the "zealot blocklist" going around lmaooo
#how do these liberals expect anyone to take them seriously #do they not have anything better to do.
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📚 stammaim reblogged
stopbeingpoor-deactivated3830102
ughh why is my servant so incompetent! i deserve the best flour why doesn't he get it...
stopbeingpoor
ykw i'll go get some myself. i'm desperate at this point i gotta do something
stopbeingpoor
EWWWW update: i stepped in something NASTY. this is why i don't fucking go out oh my god im gonna die
stopbeingpoor
gonna throw my gold & silver away for the good of the peasants or whatever it's not like it's any use to me when im literally dying -_-
📚 stammaim
lmao look at this it's exactly what yehezkel was talking about! ur gold won't save you!
#yehezkel #marta b. baitos
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🕎 yalla-hapoel
🌿 amicus-iudaeorum asked:
Hey, love your posts! They're very informative about the Jewish perspective on this war. I'm just wondering whether you condemn the actions of the zealots? I don't really feel comfortable following someone who supports that.
are you fr.
#if youre seriously concerned about this idt this is the blog for you i fear
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🛡 goel-yisrael reblogged
📖 ben-zakkai
⚰️⚰️⚰️⚰️ lol
🛡 goel-yisrael
? what does this mean
🗡 abbasikkara
dw about it bestie
🛡 goel-yisrael
ok 💗 yay 💗
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👩🏽🌾 discoursedumpblog
I've compiled a list of some of the most rabid zealots on this website. Remember, don't engage, just block and move on.
Read more
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🏛 vespasian reblogged
🏛 vespasian
some jew got an audience with me & called me king (im literally not lol thats so disrespectful to the actual king + if i was king then he shouldve met w me much earlier??), i think i should kill him
🏛 vespasian
AND my shoe is being so annoying. horrible day 👎
📖 ben-zakkai
omg just came across this old post
🏛 vespasian
OMG sorry i don't mean it anymore 🙏
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🫒 a-simple-yid
yirmiyahu tzadak...
#not to pretentiously quote tanakh but literally like. #hashiveinu hashem eilekha venashuva hadeish yameinu kekedem.
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#this doesnt make sense in terms of timeline of course. esp bc i mention the stammaim. but it's ok#long post#jumblr#txt#this is all entirely gemara-based tbc. gittin 55b–56b#you all better appreciate the effort that went into this
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No but like would I have made a chart of who does what if I didn't think this is how my brain works? Is not knowing "why" I made it now proof enough? 😭 I do a lot of things that I look back and just.... Don't identify with yeah I've been Over This but it's feeling unreal again. Ig not rlly knowing who I am or what I want rn, and having conflicting thoughts about it, says something at least. Idk I'm not sure if I'm freaking out bc I know what is happening but come onnnnnn if we really be "splitting" and stuff do I have to feel like this every time??
listen full disclosure I am NOT quite dx'd w DID so there is hope that I DON'T have it
However
Idk maybe I just understand systems cuz I'm really empathetic? No guarantees
We??stay silly
#local man conplains of symptoms of disorder he totally doesn't have#more at 10#no but like if i would just let myself believe it enough to try to heal more#but i always just end up wanting “less” parts#and that's not.... exactly fair i know#byt what if I'm just “indulging” something that isn't there??#symptoms or not it's better to not deal w the stigma in my scenario i think#idk tho i really feel like i “should” be able to live as a singlet and “get over” the trauma#but I WOULD NEVER RECOMMEND THAT FOR ANYONE W A DISSOCIATIVE DISORDER#that's not how it works#unless you “don't have it” but by god would i even be questioning it if I didn't#bc i identify w our collective name “Weed” but I'm not “host Weed” (chez)#....and if Chez “exists” that makes me an alter different from him#like ugh we don't want to have to do all this we wanna “live normally” ion think it's gonna happen pal lol#all this cuz we disrupted our routine huh lmao just yapping#yapping helps#ik there's probably stuff we need to reply to I'll see if i can figure out who i am cuz i don't think#i don't think I've been here before but the alters thing doesn't even feel real to me rn#should i even be posting this?? not my blog but like it also Is
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The Sworn Partners for God's Sake
i am SOOOO ecstatic w/ how this came out! i decided to participate in @das-a-kirby-blog 's DTIYS since i needed some fun artistic challenge in my life. i will put all my thoughts below the cut because i need to yap but please look at this image for atleast 5 seconds since i spent like 25 hours on it <3
sketching this alone took some thought since i had to adjust the canvas multiple times to make sure everything fit properly. i've never drawn alot of these characters ngl, so i was a bit nervous going in so suddenly. i wanted to make all the past villians more, well, villainous looking so i just added some crazed expression and dynamic poses. i especially like how i did susie ngl. like shes giggling so wickedly i love. i gave kirby a more confused expression while bandee is in his usual worried state of mind. i also decided to make meta and dedede make sexual eye contact as lovers sworn partners. however... i decided to take dark crafter and yinyarn out back before telling them to close their eyes because, tbh, i really dont give a fuck about either of them. marx and magolor felt like much more fitting choices in the section of past kirby antagonist as i would consider them far more impactful (and fun to draw) than the ladder pair. also added blade knight cuz sword knight was there and he wasnt?? smh. oh and vul is smoking lmao.
the hardest thing in this entire piece was the line art. originally i did all my lines in black just because it's easier on the eyes when crafting all the pieces together before i layer a blue merge layer on top. i questioned whether or not to use the lineart as both eye-black and metal highlight/shadow but im incredibly happy with the result.
coloring became a tricky subject since my art utilizes very bright, vibrant colors with high chroma. i wanted to stay true to the og by only using the base colors but just... tweaking them a lil bit. i cant resist a good highlight in my art. when it came to nightmare and meta's cape, i am a longtime subscriber to the hc that meta is like his "son" in a way so i wanted to make a nod to that by making the gradient and star-design pattern of their cloaks the same.
to be honest, this was so much fun. but holy SHIT my back is on fire. shoutout to anyone who actually read this monstrosity of an artist's explanation, ur a real one. thank you guys so much for ur support and ill see yall eventually with another dumb kirby post <3.
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Hello please read it’s important love you all
You may have noticed the lack of posting.. again. I am so sorry😭 but chat, I’m so sick, it’s not even funny. I got fanfic writer curse.
I’ve been sick since June this year, went to the hospital for the first time in September, spent two days in a coma type thing back in October, and… yeah, it’s not good. It’s the sickest I’ve ever been.
I am Trying to live as normal for now, but I need to have a surgery to be able to do so, and the surgery keeps being delayed due to new problems arising. My surgery was supposed to be this month, actually, but I fell ill again at Christmas (and subsequently spent both my birthday and new years in hospital grrrr), and because of how many times I’ve been ill with this specific thing— I would have died if they operated. I’ve almost died four times since September, I’m a bit bored now LMAO
Each infection I get almost kills me and the surgery they need to do was too risky to complete now in the hospital I was at. I’ve been living with this kind of drain coming out of my body to make sure I don’t get infection riddled again. But if I’m not sick with that, there’s something else. It’s just never ending. I got told “we can operate now, but you’ll die. Are you willing to risk that?” And a lot of other things, but yes. Dark shit. Scary shit. (I pretend I’m not but I feel like a scared child weee)
Tomorrow I have an appointment to take lots of tests and have a conversation about when my surgery will be, but honestly? This is the closest we’ve gotten to actually recovering, and I’m not trying to stress myself out more than I have to. I’m often tired and I use most of my energy with education and talking to the people I love dearly (which, I admit, I’m slacking on too) and writing just… has barely been on my mind.
I do come on this blog and feel very guilty and i feel like i have an obligation to post SOMETHING even if its an explanation as to why my posts have been less and in worse quality because of the sheer number of you.
I shall return to my once weekly posts soon. For now I shall try to post when I can. Maybe I’ll queue a couple for when I know my surgery date. Yes. Mwah. Love you all.
Also, if you read this far, give me ideas of what I can call you guys in my box!! Other than chat. I use chat too often, something more this tumblr centric
(And don’t be silly like teenager me and not eat— it causes a multitude of problems, it caused THIS problem. I take accountability for my actions but my LORD it has opened my eyes guys please for the love of god take care of yourselves)
#🔥 𝔈𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔢 𝔯𝔞𝔪𝔟𝔩𝔢𝔰#arlecchino blog#arlecchino x reader#arlecchino fic#genshin arlecchino#arlecchino genshin#arle smut#help#guys I’m so ill#I’m so sorry#WHYYYYY#I get through it#with the help of close friends#and my lovely partner#mwah
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