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gucciwins · 3 years

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Are you Angel?

Harry gets hurt while on the job and Y/N gets a phone call she was not prepared for.

Word count: 7413

A/N: hello friends, it's been a while :) this is a continuation to my story Trouble Follows. You don't have to read but it will give you an insight of how Y/N and Harry met. I am thrilled to share more of firefighter harry with you. I adore him and I hope you do as well.

please do let me know what you thought of the story and please reblog! <333

Warnings: angst, breakups, hospitals

A firefighter will always run into a burning building with not a hint of hesitation. All their focus is on saving the people stuck inside.

Running towards trouble is second nature to them.

She knew that.

She also knew what it meant to date a firefighter.

The unreliable hours, the non-frequent communication, the many failed dinner dates. The twenty-four hours shifts when he would then arrive home to just sleep.

Harry had begun to give her a constant comfort that he would eventually come home and climb into bed behind her. He would then gently nuzzle his face in her neck, taking in her sweet honey scent. In contrast, she took in the woody ashy smell that seems to be permanently stained on him.

So trust her when she said she knew what she was in for when Harry asked her to be his girlfriend.

Four months in, she knew she would be here for a long time, maybe forever, if life would allow it.

She was sure; she knew what to expect.

But she didn't, not until she got the call.

The call that would shatter her heart.

The call that would lead her to be sitting in this uncomfortable, ugly brown hospital chair, holding tightly onto his ashy hand. As she prayed on and on to a God, she no longer held close but wished for Harry they were real and would bring Harry back to her.

Y/N prayed for Harry to finally open his eyes and give her a reassuring smile that he would be okay.

That they would be okay.

Until then, she'll wait.

Harry being Lieutenant allowed him to have a consistent schedule. That did not mean there weren't days where he had to pull a double shift or stay back to finish paperwork; he let it pile up.

The one day that was Y/N's was Sunday.

She got him an entire day to lay in bed together and eat all the baked goods she baked for him to try. It was becoming their day. Everyone at the station knew Harry could not be disturbed on Sundays unless it was the end of the world, and even then, they'd have to pry him away from Y/N.

He feels safe in her arms. Harry had never felt that before. Sure, he was surrounded by his firehouse family, but he had never felt so loved in two arms as if she could take all his problems and stresses away. Still, she did exactly that when she would flash him her gorgeous smile and hold her arms open for him to fall into at the end of every day.

Harry knows he's never felt this way, and he won't ever take it for granted.

This Sunday will be different, and she feels it as soon as she wakes up because, in her queen-sized bed, she's alone. No arms wrapped around her waist; no head tucked into her necks as he places soft open kisses to wake her from her sleep gently.

Already, she knows this is going to be a bad day. She feels it in her bones. Having been around trouble for so long, she knows the difference between good and bad. The feelings she has made her want to find Harry and pull him back into bed where she can keep him safe.

Y/N gets out of bed, throwing the warm sheets off her body going to the bathroom to do her morning skin routine, wanting to feel refreshed for when Harry breaks the news; he's going to leave her alone on their day. She knows him well enough; he's cooking her breakfast to make up for leaving her so early in the morning.

She walks out of her bathroom, going straight to her closet and taking out the first sweater she saw. It's a baby blue color and stitched on the left side on top of her heart is: "love me please?" It's Harry's favorite sweater of hers because it's an oversized sweater that fits him well. The only reason she has it back is that he wanted her to wash it and wear it until it got her smell again. Y/N kissed him silly when he told her that, plus she loves that it smells like him now.

Y/N takes one look at her unmade bed and walks away, knowing she's going to crawl back in after Harry leaves her. She walks out and, from the hallway, can hear Harry humming away. If she's honest, she doesn't recognize the song. As she has come to learn, Harry has an interesting taste in music; he has basically heard every song ever to exist. It's a reason they are so good at Four Clovers Thursday Trivia night. She dominates pop culture and films, and Harry takes on music. She's also better at history than him. Their friends love trivia night because their winning always gets them free drinks. It's something she looks forward to each week.

"Morning, H," Y/N says as she approaches him from behind and wraps her arms around his waist. Harry smiles, instantly feeling warm with her arms around him.

"Morning, firebug. Sleep well?"

She mumbles a no, causing Harry to laugh, and she feels it vibrate through her.

"Awe, upset I wasn't wrapped around you." He teases. "I'm making up to you by making breakfast."

She pulls away, spotting blackberries on the counter. "Sure, Jan."

Harry can hear the change in her tone and knows she's still goofing off with him but knows she's upset.

"Angel, come sit. Coffee is ready."

She shakes her head but makes her way over to the chair he pulled out for her. "No coffee. I'll be going back to bed soon." Y/N waits to see if he'll correct her, but he doesn't.

"I'm sorry." He begins.

"No apologies."

"Please let me. I'm leaving you on our day." He pouts.

"As much as I don't want you to go, I'm sure they need you more than I do."

Harry frowns, "I hope you'll never stop needing me." He whispers against her lips before closing the gap. Y/N hums against his soft lips allowing herself to get lost in the moment; she loves his kisses, soft and gentle just as he is despite what his sharp eyes might have one believe.

Harry pulls away after pressing one final kiss on her pouted lips. "I'm sorry I have to go to work, but I know for certain that I can meet you for a late lunch."

"Lunch?" She repeats, arms wrapped around his waist, hoping he was serious with his offer.

He hums. "Yes, 2:30, that bistro with that avocado dressing you like for your sandwich."

"It's a date." She grins, laying her head on his chest letting him hold her tight. He unwraps his arms, letting her go.

"I've got to get going, firebug, but I'll see you later."

"Stay safe, Styles." She tells him as she does every time he leaves.

"Try my best, angel."

With that, he slips his beat-up white Vans with lilac laces and walks out the door; it shuts it behind him. Just as Y/N steps towards it to lock up, it opens back up, startling her. Harry steps back in, and before she can question him, he places both faces on the side of her face and kisses her breathless. Y/N is quick to react, allowing their lips to move in perfect harmony, not as smooth but perfect, nonetheless.

"I--" Harry begins before he clears his throat. "I'll miss you, angel."

Y/N feels the heat rush to her cheeks because, for a moment, she thought he'd say another three words. "And I'll miss you, H. Now get out of here; I don't need you showing up late to our lunch date."

Harry smiles, dimples on full display, hugging her before walking out a skip in his step. She peaks her head out, making sure he gets in the car safely before he drives off. He sits there for a moment, and she knows he is letting his Bluetooth connect as he waits for his drive-to-work playlist titled "it's time" to start playing. He takes a look at his mirrors before backing out and driving. That's when Y/N closes and locks the door.

Time to go back to bed for a few more hours; what else is there to do on a Sunday when she's left alone.

Harry genuinely did not want to go to work today, but it's not like he could say no to his Chief. His Chief was never one to call in favor unless it was an emergency. He didn't ask, knowing he'd get the full story Monday, but for now, he gets on his pants, t-shirt, and boots and hopes there are no fires today.

The only thing is that Harry isn't used to working with the B-shift, sure he knows everyone's name and a little of their lives, but they aren't his usual team. He shakes that off because he knows he would do anything to help a team member and knows they would do the same in return.

Harry is lost in thought, wondering what Y/N was going to do today. He knows she planned to take him to a butterfly pavilion today even told him the outfit she had planned out for it. A pair of jeans that had flowers embroidered all over something she added, saying she thought they looked a bit plain, pairing it with a pastel pink top. Harry was surprised with her style after meeting her various times in different outfits. He was surprised at how soft she dressed in pastels. She may have a bold personality, but her fashion was delicate and warm. It was a nice balance.

He nearly runs into Carols as he made his way to his office, too busy thinking of the girl he left at home. "Sorry, bud."

"No problem, Harry. Surprised to see you here," Carols tells him, everyone knowing Sunday was Harry's day off.

"Chief had something come up and asked me to come in. I should be out of here by eight tonight if we're lucky."

Carlos smiles, "with you around, we usually are."

Harry chuckles, telling him he'll be in his office if he needs anything. He looks around his desk and sighs at how much has piled up already.

Might as well get ahead.

It's a few hours when Harry realizes the house is quiet. He peaks around the window and figures they are all in the common room. It's only one, and thankfully there have been no calls, and if it continues, then he will make it to lunch with his angel.

He shoots her a text.

Angel

13:24 PM

I miss you. Counting down the minutes until I get to see you xxx

Harry clicks send and smiles down at his phone. 2:30 couldn't come fast enough.

As he gets up to stretch and go for a snack in the kitchen, he takes a deep breath because as confident as he may seem, he isn't around the second shift. They don't know him so well, and Harry ultimately is shy. He may be able to hide it, but he has small quicks that others pick up on. Something he knows Y/N spotted quickly, like when he toes his foot into the ground or when he begins to chip at his nails, and Y/N's favorite is when he moves his hands behind his back and sways side to side. She finds it endearing, but others might not think it's leadership material.

He walks into the lounge to cross to the kitchen when a few heads turn to him, but before they can say a word, the alarm rings, and Harry is literally saved by the bell.

Not a second to waste, everyone heads over to the rig and quickly suits up. Harry is Lieutenant meaning he's in charge of the scene today, seeing as their captain and Chief aren't here today. Harry respects all the firefighters and knows this will go well if everyone carries out their job.

It's a factory fire, and as soon as they arrive, Harry can see it's burning fast. He's not sure how many people are there, but he calls in for reinforcements knowing they will need all the manpower they can get.

"This is House 102; please send more units available. The factory fire is burning at a faster rate than we can control. My team is going in now. There are five people unaccounted for; the left side of the building is clear." Harry speaks into his two-way radio.

"Carlos," the young firefighter jogs over, eyes on Harry, no longer staring at the roaring fire. "You're going in with Baz. Stay close and don't go up the second floor; you need to be quick in and out."

"Who's going with you, Lieutenant?" Carlos asks, clearly worried.

"Jameson and Rey are coming with me; stay safe, and if anything happens, just radio in."

"You got it!" Harry pats his shoulder and walks off towards the two waiting men.

Harry knows the men well, he trained them when they came into the house, but they preferred B-shift instead of being with him. One spot was available, and he knew they didn't want to be separated. Rey and Jameson have been dating for two years, but that's a secret only very few know. It's not prohibited, but if it gets more serious, one will have to relocate to a new station. They simply aren't ready for that, and indeed Harry would be sad not to have them around the house or hearing their stories. It just adds a more considerable risk because, at the end of the day, the job is first.

Rey walks towards the entrance with Harry following right behind. Jameson, a few feet back, calling out for anyone in there that needs help.

"Fire department, call out." Echoes out as much as it can as the fire begins to roar louder.

The heat gets worse the further they walk in; they turn right at the edge of a desk labeled "Torres."

"H, there!" Rey shouts, rushing over to a man knocked unconscious and had heavy storage struck over his legs, pinning him down. Harry and Jameson run over, assessing the man before making any sudden moves.

Jameson finds a pulse, weak but there. He gets the extra mask over the man's face hoping it'll wake him up soon.

"On the count of three, we lift," Harry tells the two men standing to a stand as the others do the same.

They nod. "One, two, three." They grunt in unison, pushing the container to a standing position. Harry looks over the man's legs and is thankful there is no blood, but there will be swelling and bruises. "Right, Rey, take him out. We'll keep searching."

Rey nods, lifting the man over his shoulder as he was trained to do, and rushes out of the burning building. Harry and Jameson have just learned a new area when the radio comes on. "Lieutenant Styles, it's Carlos. We found two men; only one remains unaccounted for."

Harry nods. "Got it, no one comes back in. We'll be out soon."

He now leads the way, making his way towards a stairway. There's no fire here, but it's moving faster, and smoke is thick. Whoever is in here might not last much longer without oxygen.

"Fire department, call out," Harry shouts, voice firm.

"Here.." a whisper is heard, both Harry and Jameson freeze. Once more, "here" is yelled but sounds muffled.

Harry looks around, not seeing anything but fire, and fears the structure will collapse soon. Just as he was about to yell again, he sees a can knocked, and a man hidden under a black rag is seen. Jameson rushes over, helping the man sit up. He's older, well into his sixties. He doesn't look too well; he has a few scapes.

"Right, we need to head out," Jameson tells Harry, helping the man stand up who is fighting consciousness.

"This is Lieutenant Styles; on our way out found the last man. Have paramedics on standby."

"Got it, Styles. Get out quick."

Jameson and Harry get the man up and head to exit. Harry can see the light of day and knows he will be late for lunch, but thankful Y/N is understanding and very forgiving. He'll make it up to her by buying dessert.

Just as they almost reach the door, a piece of dry wood comes falling down, separating Harry and Jameson; luckily, it did not hit them, but now Harry has to find a new way out. It's not looking good.

"Harry," Jameson looks panicked, but Harry stays calm.

"Get him out, now," Harry tells him, looking in every direction for what to do.

"No, I won't-" Harry cuts him off.

"Jameson, get this man out. He needs medical attention. That's an order." Voice full of authority with no room to argue.

Jameson nods and heads out. "I'm coming back for you."

Harry chuckles. He sees a small path, but it'd be a more extended way out. He debates what to do. He could wait, but the longer he stays, the quicker this building is beginning to collapse.

It takes him two seconds to decide to go right and find a new route out instead of staying put. He walks and only gets hotter as the fire begins to surround him. He's good at not panicking, always thinks better under pressure, but this is getting intense. Harry climbs over a crate and bends low to go through this tight space. He sees the exit, it's still a bit away, but he knows he is in the clear.

That's when he hears a big explosion knocking him forward. His oxygen masks flys off, landing a few feet away. As Harry reaches his hand out to get it, he's pulled back. He looks behind and sees he's stuck. There are crates stacked on top of him. The air is thick of smoke, and with no oxygen, it seems like the fire will soon enough engulf him.

Shit.

He's really in trouble now.

Harry presses his radio, holding it, hoping it's still working. "This is Harry," He coughs. "I'm trapped under a few crates. I can't reach my ask. I'm west of the building."

"Harry, hold on. We're going in." Harry hears Jameson reply, but he's fading quickly.

He shakes his head. "Can't go to sleep, but this smoke is too thick to actually see anything, let alone for his team to find him.

"Tell…" He coughs again, and this time doesn't stop for what feels like five minutes but is only a few seconds. "Tell angel, I'm sorry."

A voice comes over the speaker, but Harry's eyelids are fluttering shut, the weight of the crates is too much, and the smoke only gets deeper in his lungs if he keeps speaking.

Harry welcomes the darkness as he sees the one person he was supposed to meet for lunch. She's holding an outstretched hand for him to take and who is he to ever say no to her.

Real or not, he goes to her, and soon enough, he falls unconscious, not feeling when his team lifts him out and puts him in the back of an ambulance.

Y/N decided to show up a bit earlier for their lunch date, putting in their order early, wanting to maximize all their time together. She wouldn't see him until late that night, and honestly, she wasn't a fan of being separated on her favorite day of the week.

She sits on a bench right outside, both sandwiches wrapped tucked away in a brown paper bag and a lemonade sitting next to her untouched. It was his favorite, too sweet in her opinion. Still, Harry loved it, especially since he wasn't one to indulge in sweets unless they were hers.

Knowing Harry could be running late, she pulls out a book from her orange tote bag that Harry gifted to her. The book was Beach Read, Frankie recommended it to her then gave her the book saying she needed to read more romance books and not just poetry and nonfiction books. She actually enjoyed it, which surprised her, but even if she didn't, she's too invested to not find out the ending.

She was just starting chapter five when she feels too much time has passed and glances down at her phone.

2:55

25 minutes late isn't bad or unusual even; she decides to put the book away and keep an eye out for him. Usually, when he keeps her waiting, he makes up for it with a long kiss that never fails to take her breath away; she's excited about it now.

Time seems to go slower when she just sits waiting. She debates beginning to eat her sandwich when her stomach starts to growl. It's low, but she would feel bad if she began to eat, and that's when he shows up. She settles for waiting and instead takes a drink of the sweet lemonade.

As Y/N sits waiting for Harry, her phone begins to ring and displays an unknown number but the city's area code. Every bone in her body tells her to prepare for the worst but hopes she's paranoid.

She takes a deep breath before answering and bringing the phone up to her ear.

"Hello, are you angel?" A deep voice man asks.

"It's Y/N. Actually, can I ask who's calling?" She's holding her breath; only one person calls her angel.

"I'm calling on behalf of Lieutenant Harry Styles. Harry has been in an accident and was taken to the hospital. He asked us to call an angel on his way to the hospital. We assumed you were one of his emergency contacts."

Y/N feels her hands begin to shake. "What hospital?"

The man on the phone rattles the information, and she lets it all sink in. He hangs up, and she sits there waiting on the bench for her date that will not be showing up.

Her phone rings again, she answers without looking at the caller.

"Y/N," she recognized the voice; it's Mitch, and if he's calling, then it must be true.

"Mitch," she whispers, not recognizing her own voice. It's shaky, tears beginning to well up.

"Where are you?"

"At the bistro a street down from the station." She replies, hoping he's coming for her.

"I'm close; we'll pick you up and go see him, darling." She nods but remembers he can't see her.

Y/N isn't sure why she's not crying. She feels the tears, but it's like they are stuck; her heart hurts, and she knows that says enough. "We were supposed to meet for lunch. I got worried when he didn't show up, but I didn't think--" he interrupts her.

"Harry is going to be fine, trust me. He's okay, and he needs us there."

Y/N doesn't reply because she sees him pulling in. Mitch is in the passenger seat, Sarah is driving. She doesn't say a word as she swings open the door and settles in the back.

She sets her hands in her lap; she can feel herself trembling. She can feel herself breaking because she won't know if he's okay until she sees him. Mitch can say he's fine, but she needs to see for herself.

Sarah and Mitch share a concerned look; Y/N doesn't notice her eyes looking out the window.

"Y/N?" Mitch begins, voice full of concern. "Do you- are you okay to go see him?"

"Of course." She replies quickly. "He needs me; well, I hope he does."

"Course he needs you. Needs his angel by his side." Sarah tells her calmly, wanting to see her smile, but it doesn't work because only Harry should be calling her that. She shouldn't be on her way to see him in a hospital bed. She should have seen him next to her on that bench as he ate his sandwich and gave her kiss and kiss as she told him stories.

They are silent the rest of the way. Sarah pulls into an empty parking space, and she rushes after Mitch, who seems to know exactly where Harry is as he rushes past the front desk. The only thing that slows them down is waiting for the elevator; she gladly would have taken the stairs if Mitch didn't tell her that he's on the sixth floor. Instead, she waits impatiently for the old elevator that will take her to see her love.

He is going to be okay. He has to be okay. Y/N keeps those thoughts running through her head as Mitch and Sarah guide her to room 613.

Mitch walks in first, holding the door open, Sarah places a comforting hand on her back, and Y/N feels supported and loved, but nothing prepares her for what she is about to walk into.

The constant beep of Harry's heart monitor is the only thing that can be heard in his private room. The beep is steady; it makes her let out a deep breath. The monitor already calming her down, she approaches slowly as if he'd wake if she'd walk any faster.

She sits in the uncomfortable chair next to his bed and pulls it as close as she can.

Y/N just stares at him, taking it all in. He looks like he's resting peacefully like he should originally have been when they started this day together. His curls are disheveled, his face dirty with smoke stains and a few gauzes wrapped around his arms. She can't see much else but knows he's got a road of recovery still ahead of him.

"Hi, Harry," she whispers, her hand slowly reaching under the white sheet to grab hold of his right hand. "I'm right here, okay. Take your time waking up; there's no rush. Just know that I'm not going anywhere."

She pauses, hoping for a reply even though she knows she won't get one. "We can also discuss how I'm sort of one of your emergency contacts."

Y/N presses her lips to his hand. "Need you to wake up, want to see those Rapunzal eyes." She sits back, not removing her hand from his. Sarah has not taken her eyes off of her, Sarah might feel like she might blow up soon, but being at his side, she has begun to feel better.

"Harry, we're here for you. The whole team is outside in the lobby, probably why they sent us to the floor with the biggest waiting area. Even young Carlos is out there, saying you gave them a scare but really hopes you never pick up another B-shift again." Mitch sniffles before stepping out of the room. Sarah walks over to where he was standing.

"Hey Harold, it's trivia night in a few days, and kind of counting on you to get us those free drinks." Sarah chuckles. "It's been a while since we've been in the hospital. I think it was when I made you all donate blood for that ambulance competition. Fun times, now you rest and get better. The good thing is you have the best nurse looking out for you." Sarah glances at Y/N, sending her a small smile.

Y/N sits back in her chair as Sarah sits in one by the window. She knows she's in for a long afternoon and an even longer night.

Harry's head is throbbing.

He's not sure why. The last he remembers is leaving Y/N's house to go for his shift at the station.

They were meeting for lunch; he's sure she wouldn't let him drink any alcohol on the job.

Harry slowly opens his eyes and is blinded by the bright light. He sees a photo of the sunset right in front of him, and a tv hung up; if he's not mistaken, he's in a hospital room, primarily due to being in an uncomfortable bed. The oxygen mask over his face is also a dead giveaway he was in an accident.

He looks around, and he sees he is not alone. His angel is sleeping, a tight grip on his right hand; she looks exhausted. Mitch walks in just as Harry was about to wake her. Y/N mumbles and sits up, pulling her hand away from his to rub the sleep away. Harry wants to tell her to stop knowing how much it actually irritates her eyes, especially when she tubs a little harsher than usual.

"Were you able to find tea, Mitch?" Y/N asks, looking over at him.

"Sarah's bringing it over." Mitch's gaze never turns to her staying on Harry; this confuses Y/N and turns back around in her seat to look at a resting Harry but instead finds his eyes on her.

"Harry!" Y/N scoots forward, grasps his hand in hers. "You're awake. Mitch, the nurse, please."

Harry raises his free hand to take off the mask. He wants to speak, but this won't allow him. "No, love. Got to keep it on."

Harry's eyes close, then flutter open. He stares at Y/N, his eyes kind but defiant. He takes the mask off, coughing a bit; it makes Y/N feel nauseous, knowing he's not doing so well.

"I think you need to keep it on, Harry." She says, "the nurse needs to see it when she comes in soon."

"Hey, angel," he says in a raspy voice. It sounds like he's in pain when he talks.

"Yes?" She asks.

"I'm sorry for scaring you."

Y/N shrugs, "no big deal. I wasn't even scared."

Harry smiles, showering her his dimples since she last saw him this morning. He begins to laugh but stops when it causes him to cough. Y/N lets him settle down before bending down to gently kiss him.

"Now, let that hold you over, and put the mask pack on."

Harry nods. "Anything for you, my angel."

It's a half-hour before the doctor comes in, and by that time, Harry had fallen back asleep, only just waking up a few minutes before the man walked through the door. Mitch alerted everyone outside he was awake and doing good.

Dr. Vazquez walked white coat open, displaying a purple button-up and a bright yellow tie. It puts a smile on Y/N's face.

"Hello, Mr. Styles. Glad you're awake."

"Me too, Doc. Nice tie."

Dr. Vaquez smiles, looking down at himself, "Thank you, my wife picks out my tie every morning before she heads off to work."

"Lucky man," Harry tells him.

"That I am." Dr. Vazquez replies. "You've got a mild concussion, nothing serious, but you are allowed to sleep while you're here. We've got a good team looking out for you. You've got a few burns, but those will heal nicely if properly cared for. A few deep bruises on your leg and one on your rib cage, no blood clots. It will hurt to walk for a few days."

"Nothing too bad, then," Harry sighs, relaxing in bed.

"I've looked at your charts, and it looks like you will be making a full recovery and should be back on the job in three or four weeks. In the meantime, you will need to stay overnight and keep taking in oxygen. I see the nurse changed your mask. Please don't remove this one." Harry nods. "Any questions?"

Harry shakes his head no, "Not at the moment."

"Alright, I'll be off then. I'll come to see you tomorrow midday, and we'll talk about going home. I hear you have a waiting room full of people dying to see; just be aware that visiting hours end at nine, but if you're kind to Nurse Lucy, she'll be lenient to ten."

"Thank you, Dr. Vazquez." Mitch and Y/N say in unison as the man exits the room.

"That's the quietest I've ever seen you, firebug." Harry teases.

"You hush." She lightly pats his arm.

Mitch laughs, "going to go tell them you're allowed, visitors."

Y/N and Harry sit in silence. He can tell she has something on her mind, a slight frown on her face. He wonders if it's about him if she won't be able to handle dating someone who can be hurt by the job. Harry honestly does not want to lose her.

"I'm going to step out," Y/N tells him, looking down at their joined hands, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"Y/N," Harry sighs.

"You've got lots of people waiting to see you and roughly have an hour to see them all. I'll be close by." She leans down, presses a kiss to his cheek, and walks out before he can reach out to stop her.

She steps out while a few members of his team come in to see him offering her a smile as she passes them. As much as she didn't want to leave him, she needed a moment away, and he needed a moment with his family.

God, Y/N has never felt so scared, and now a minute alone, everything is beginning to set in. She has no idea where the restroom is, and the next thing she knows, she's running into someone, but it seems they recognize her because they say her name, and the next thing she knows, she's crying, sinking to the floor. She feels arms wrap around her.

Shushes in her ear, brushing the ends of her hair. It's calming, but she needs to let all the tears she's been holding in.

"Y/N," she can now recognize the voice as Sarah's, "I'm going to help you stand and sit you in the chair.

Y/N feels herself nod.

She begins taking deep breaths, never letting Sarah pull her hand away. It is the only thing keeping her grounded.

"I got her some water." Y/N hears Frankie whisper handing it to Sarah before taking the seat to the left of her.

"I'm okay," she repeats. "I'm okay."

"Y/N," Sarah begins.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, sweetie." Frankie brushes her hair back.

"I'm supposed to be strong; I have to be strong to do this to stand by his side," Y/N tells them, beginning to let her emotions out.

"No one is expecting you not to cry."

"Bu-" Sarah interrupts her.

"No. stop. Accidents happen, and so do injuries. It's okay to be scared and hurt."

"I want to be strong for him." She whispers.

"You are. You never left his side; you talked to him. You're crying now because you care."

She wipes her eyes with her sweater sleeves. "I love him, and I was so scared that when I got the call, I'd never get to tell Harry."

"Then you tell him as soon as you walk back into his room."

"Thank you."

"Nothing to thank, I care about you, and I know Harry would be grateful to know you're not alone. You've always got us. Now let's grab something to eat, and we'll come back in an hour once all of them go home."

She chuckles. "Alright."

"Text me where you're sitting. I'll pop in to see Harry, then meet you."

"You don't have to," Y/N tells Frankie because she knows she is just as concerned about her friend.

"Are you kidding me? You're my friend first, always."

Sarah and Y/N walk down to the cafeteria. She knows she isn't okay but is feeling better, finally letting emotion out. It was only a matter of time before she let the dam break; she's just happy it was not in front of Harry.

The girls sit in the cafeteria munching on snacks for well over an hour. Mitch sends them a message letting them know all the crew has left and it's time to say goodbye for the night. Frankie wishes her goodnight downstairs with promises to come to see her tomorrow and bring her a change of clothes.

"Let's walk you back," Sarah tells her, linking their arms together.

"Do you think he'll know?" Sarah takes a good look at her and grimaces. "I'll just say I tripped, and it made me cry." Y/N jokes.

"I don't think he'll believe that."

"Yeah, me either." The girls walk out of the elevator as their laughter dies down.

They settle in silence as they make their way to his room, Sarah holding her hand leading the way. Mitch is in the chair she was in for so many hours before waiting for him to wake up. Mitch hears their footsteps and turns his head, but Harry is frowning, looking out the window at the dark sky.

Y/N doesn't know what to say, but one look at him has her heart filling up with relief; he's okay.

He's fine, and he gets to go home soon, and she gets to love him all she wants.

Harry turns his head as she steps forward. "Angel," he breathes out.

It makes her eyes well up with tears again. "I love you," she just lets it out, as if she's told Harry this every day as if she never went a moment not saying it.

"Oh my angel," Harry begins to cry, feeling overwhelmed and incredibly happy. His angel loves him, and although this isn't a perfect day, the moment is.

Mitch and Sarah sneak out quietly, shutting the door behind them to give them their privacy.

"I love you so much. Please come here." Harry replies, voice shaky.

In the next second, she's moving forward, pulling the chair as close as she can as he grabs her hands, squeezing them tightly. She leans down and presses her lips to his chapped pink lips. They move gently, pouring all their love and fears into the kiss. Telling each other that the worst is over and they are together, and they are fine. Y/N pulls back, knowing she can't kiss him as long as she'd like due to his sensitive lungs.

"Harry, I love you, and I was so scared I'd never get to say it."

"I'm sorry, angel; I never wanted you to get a call like this, at least not before talking about it."

"Me either," She sniffles, no longer able to control her tears, "but it happened, and I'm just happy you're okay."

"I'm okay," he repeats. She smiles, taking one of her hands out of his hold to wipe his tears away; Harry can't help but lean his head into her gentle touch. "I'm okay because my angel is always looking after me.

"Harry."

"It's true. I've never been luckier and safer since you came into my life." She smiles. "But there's something we have to talk about." He continues, and by the tone of his voice, it's going to be serious.

"Are you okay?"

"What? I'm fine. You're the one in a hospital bed." Her tone is defensive.

"There's something wrong. I can see it."

Y/n sighs, taking a deep breath. She takes her hand out of his hold.

Harry is quick to mask his hurt.

"I don't like that you're hurt. I hate that we aren't at home in the kitchen dancing around to your Sunday playlist as I bake you a new treat." She says in a rush.

"Hey, love, relax," he says and gestures for her to move in closer. She does so, allowing him to take hold of her hands with a firm grip this time.

"You're upset because I got hurt?" She nods in reply to his question. It's stupid because, of course, he's going to get hurt; it'd be naive to think he wouldn't in his job.

"It's part of the job." He says simply. It's something he wants her to accept and remember. She thinks back to a month into dating when he told her about his ex-girlfriend and how she couldn't handle the unknown of the job each day he left her. Y/N thought she'd be fine, but she loves him, and losing him would be something she could never recover from.

"I know. It's just not easy to see." Her voice was quiet and defeated.

"What do we do?" Harry asks, and Y/N freezes; she can feel her heart beating in her ears.

What do we do?

"What do you mean?" She can feel her hands begin to shake.

"This can happen again." He gestures to him in the hospital bed.

"I know." She says softly.

"Is this something you can handle or not?" He asks very direct. She knows this might not be the first time he's had the conversation, but she just told him she loved him, and he's questioning her. She's allowed to feel this way, but it doesn't mean she can't handle it.

"Y/N," he begins, "I'm incredibly happy with you. I see you and me together for a long time. You're it for me, but this job is my life."

"I know," she repeats. "I would never ask you to give up your job."

Harry stares at her; heartbreak passes through his eyes. "Are you asking me to give you up?

She shakes her and begs for the tears not to fall, but it's no use. She feels them falling and can't wipe them as Harry has a hold of her hands.

"Harry, I love you." He frowns as if fearing the worst. "I love you, and I'd rather love you every moment I have you than let you go now and never know what could have been."

"Oh, thank god." Harry lets out a deep breath. She giggles. "I'm sorry we couldn't have this conversation earlier; honestly, I feared if I brought it up, you could possibly break up with me, and I selfishly wanted to have you longer."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere, not if it's up to me. Seeing you laid up is hard but knowing I get to be there for you makes up for it. Also helps that I'm a nurse."

"That it does."

Y/n grins at Harry, leaning in to kiss him, short and sweet for now. Each kiss never fails to make her heart race, and due to Harry's heart monitor, she knows it does the same to him. They sit in silence, staring at each other as Harry traces small shapes against Y/N's cheeks, loving the feeling of her in his hand. Especially when she lets out a soft giggle when he hits a sensitive spot.

"Move in with me," Y/N blurts out after a while of silence.

It shocks Harry. "What?"

"Until you're better. That way, I can be your in-home nurse."

"Only until I'm better?" She nods. "So, you'll give me the boot after." Harry teases.

Y/N can feel her cheeks warming up but pushes through, "Only if you're a bad patient."

Harry smiles, dimples on full display for her, always for her. "Okay, I can be good and naughty only when you ask."

"Harry!" She gasps.

He throws his head back, laughing.

"God, I'm so lucky to love you." His words warm her heart, and she promises to tell him every day from now on.

"Now get up here and cuddle me. I got Mitch to cue up Netflix."

"Are you sure?" She stands slipping her shoes off, knowing he won't be taking no for an answer.

"Going to deprive an injured man of what he wants most?"

"Guess not."

"Good."

Y/N crawls on and lays on his side, carefully resting her head on his chest. Harry presses kiss after kiss for his comfort, knowing he will be okay and has his favorite person by his side. She chooses Legally Blonde knowing it's Harry's comfort movie as much as he tries to deny it.

For an unusual start to their Sunday, it ends right; together in bed, a hospital bed but nonetheless a bed, together arms wrapped tight around each other.

Y/N might not have liked that Harry got hurt, but he's okay, and he will recover.

That's all she could ever ask for.

thank you so much for reading!

please send me a message of what you thought or if you'd like to see more firefighter harry

I adore you. take care xx

#harry styles #harry styles writing #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles au #harry styles angst #harry styles ou #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles fluff #firefighter!harry #harry fanfic #harry fluff #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagine #my writing

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420pogpills · 3 years

Text

part 3 of asks! part 1 part 2

yeah i know he said that, what's why i found his behaviour so odd. he was saying how he thinks george doesn't try that hard, and in last night's stream george was genuinely try-harding, and dream kept sabotaging him it was just v weird. like i know ofc dream doesn't mean it, he praises george to the high heavens haha. but it just wasn't like very fun to watch him be like that when george was trying so hard to win :')

it's just genuinely been so goddamn LONGGGG since we got solo george :( i know he probably prefers streaming with his friends it's more fun and what not but omg i really really want a solo stream! or maybe half solo, and then someone joins in the other half, as long as the vibes stay good

bro he doesn't just have a comp sci degree, he got a FIRST, which is the highest classification you can get for a ba/bs. it's very impressive! i do hope he ends up doing a nice chill coding stream one day :D here at tumblr it's full of gogy simps, we appreciate his brains!

haha ikr oh my god his tolerance is something else. georgeeee clink clink spare some change in the form of tolerance?? i need it so badly because mine is so insanely thin, i scream at my door if my clothing catches on the handle

yeah this is always why i try my best to word myself carefully because i don't want to sit here and preach like i know what george is feeling. i don't need to defend george from his own friends and i have no plans of doing that :') but i am allowed to say how i, as a viewer, feel about what i saw and how i would feel in the situation! :) us getting a little upset about how george was treated is not the same as us going 'uwu gogy i wish i could hug him that was so mean dream is awful booooooo'.. it was just an unfair situation, and regardless we're allowed to project, and people are allowed to agree or disagree. we can all just discuss it in a calm manner :)

yeah karl seems to be super busy atm, i've not seen him open up minecraft in forever i feel like! that would be the most hilarious team in existence oh my god i would love that :')

yeah it can get very frustrating. not babying george should not mean you can insult him and put a joking or lighthearted tone indicator behind it. i feel like george's 'pretty privilege' is a double-edged sword. it feels like most people know him now for being the pretty one and a lot of people act like that's all there is. george fans get ridiculed a lot because people think we just watch him cause he's attractive. which is like??? why would i sit there for 2-3 hours of a stream just to look at someone's face? i literally sometimes just put on his calm solo streams in the background because i find his vibe relaxing, i don't even watch it. why would i do that if i only liked him for his face? he's not even my type anyway :'))) i just appreciate that he's a beautiful beautiful man, but i would never waste my time to watch someone just because of what they look like.

in general, people need to remember that these streamers are real people with feelings. and their job is on the internet, so they spend a lot of time on social media, and if you write a nasty comment about them, there actually is a high chance they will see it. i wish people just stayed respectful, and realised that their words carry weight :)

yeah i think they struggle a LOT with streaming etiquette. i feel like after all this time, they are aware of how people perceive them (after having to point out several times that george can take a joke that it's not that serious etc etc) they know that people get a little upset at these things. i get maybe like in the moment if they're really high strung or just frustrated, they just do what they do and don't think about the fact that over 100k people are witnessing them do it. which yeah, i think sometimes their arguments or disagreements get too personal - and they are friends so they are fine with it, but we don't know their thought process, we don't know them the way they know each other, so we just see what's on the surface. and on the surface it often looks like a negative situation, and people get either worried or upset or frustrated.

because here's the thing - we watch streams to enjoy ourselves. george is my favourite streamer, and my idea of enjoyment isn't to see him trying hard to win at something and his friends sabotaging him, getting in the way and acting like he's incapable of achieving something by himself :') and a toxic vibe is just no fun to watch. i get that that's their friendship and like i'm not saying they should change anything about it - but there's nothing wrong with us venting, with expressing ourselves and releasing our frustrations. we are all allowed to feel different things. just because i'm not a fan of how george was treated, doesn't mean i'm trying to baby him. if i was babying him, i'd be @'ing dream and co on twitter and demanding he apologise lmao. saying i think it was unfair of them to say george was being carried when george was doing fine on his own is not the equivalent of babying someone.

#ask #anon #cw negative #cw negativity #i've done these in parts because apparently you're only allowed 10 pics per post haha #dream team discourse

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radiorenjun · 4 years

Text

I Don't Need It. i

• Pairing: Na Jaemin x Reader

• Genre: Angst, Comedy, Fluff

• Na Jaemin despised the idea of soulmates, he wanted to fight against fate for choosing his soulmate for him. Even if it means his stubborn childhood best friend wouldn't stop trying to make him accept about the similar tattoos on their wrists.

• Masterlist here!

• Chapters: i, ii

"Hey Jaemin?" you said, not looking up from your bucket filled with sand. "Yeah?" your friend replied, sitting down infront of you, sand moving everywhere from the impact. You flipped the bucket over, tapping it with your palms and the end of the plastic shovel.

"Do you think my soulmate is just gonna be like Daddy?" you asked, creating sand walls with your palm as Jaemin set up mini towers beside the bucket with his little cup. "Soulmate? Gross," his face scrunched up in disgust, sticking his tongue out which caused you to giggle.

"You're gonna have one, too, dummy!" your hands grabbed one of your stuffed animals and throwing it at him. "Yeah, but I don't wanna." he pouted, grabbing the shovel beside you to fill another bucket with the sand around you, putting your stuffed animal aside.

"Why not?"

"Cause it's stupid."

"It's not stupid!"

You look up at him with a pout, looking at Jaemin who's eyes was filled with anger. "Why?" you asked, pulling your bucket to reveal a perfectly made sand castle. "It's stupid how we can't choose our soulmates." he whined.

"Why?" you asked again, in the same calm tone as you decorated your sandcastle with tiny figurines of your latest favorite cartoon. "I want to choose myself." he ran his hand through the sand, picking a pile up with his palm before letting it pour out in between his fingers.

"I want to choose my soulmate." he stated after a sigh, looking at you with his lips sucked in between his teeth as you gave him a sweet understanding smile. "Dont you, Y/n?" he asked, making you look up at him with a small questioning hum.

"Don't you wanna choose your soulmate, too?" he asked. "Me?" you asked, pointing a finger at yourself, making him nod. You grabbed your tigger plushie and hugged it to yourself, "I want to. So bad. Mommy says soulmates are the ones that make you happy, and would protect you when Mommy and Daddy aren't around. And would always be with you forever and ever," you gushed.

You paused as you hugged your plushie tight, "I would do anything to meet my soulmate." you sighed dreamily. "I think Tigger might be your soulmate," Jaemin teased. "I wish." you stuck your tongue and blew a raspberry teasingly at him, making him laugh.

"But Mommy says Tigger can't have a tattoo when he's 16 years old." you whined, looking at your plushie with your lips pursed. "See! This is why I don't want a soulmate." Jaemin huffed, raising his arms out at you before crossing them against his chest dramatically.

"I thought you said you want to choose your soulmate," you smiled, nuzzling your head against Tigger. Jaemin frowned, kicking some sand off the soles of his shoes, "That too." he grumbled under his breath.

"Even if your soulmate was me?" you asked teasingly, poking your cheek with your hand to act cute. The boy let out a giggle, throwing your plushie that was previously thrown at him to you. "Especially you!"

His words made you frown, your bottom lip sticking out. "Meanie! Na Jaemin is a meanie!" you whined before looking at your Tigger plush. "Tigger, Jaemin is a big meanie. He's not my soulmate. My soulmate would make me happy, not be mean to me." You announced dramatically as Jaemin stuck his tongue out with a teasing smile.

"For now, you're my soulmate, Tigger! Tigger makes me happy all the time!" you grinned widely as Jaemin laughed. "Tigger can't be your soulmate, y/n!!" he laughed, clutching his stomach at your weird antics.

"Yes he can! And he's a better soulmate than you'll ever be, Jaemin! Soulmates make each other happy all the time, not be mean to them!" you turned your head away from Jaemin dramatically, making Jaemin snort.

You were six years old when you found out Jaemin didn't want a soulmate. At least, a soulmate that was chosen for him. You didn't think he was serious, thinking it was merely just a phase that he would eventually get over and accept reality.

You were thirteen years old when you're beginning to think otherwise.

"Jaemin!!" you exclaimed, running up to him and hopping as you lay your hands on his shoulders, startling the boy. "How's my favorite bestfriend?" you grinned, tilting your head as you watch Jaemin chuckle softly at you.

"Im your only bestfriend, loser." he stated casually causing your smile to drop. "Damn, do you always have to ruin my mood? That is no way to speak to your precious best friend." you tutted, waving your index finger at him, making the boy giggle as he rolled his eyes.

"It's my job as a bestfriend to turn your life upside-down right?" he grinned as he shut his locker, walking by your side to your class. "Yeah, you're definitely not my soulmate." you stated in a monotone voice, your lips pursed dramatically.

"Could you stop talking bout soulmates for just a second?" he groaned loudly, tilting his head back in frustration. You grinned, "right, I forgot your sister found hers already. Must suck to hear how everyone in your family isn't single no more." you teased.

"Oh shut up, you're single too. Idiot." he sassed, gently flicking your forehead which caused you to let out a small yelp. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." you pouted, rubbing the slightly sore spot on your forehead as you continued to walk down the crowded halls.

"You still on that 'I'll reject my soulmate when I meet them' phase?" you mumbled, "this phase feels like its gonna last a whole lifetime, God." you continued as Jaemin let out an exasperated sigh. "It's not a phase, Y/n." he stated.

You raised your brow questioningly at your best friend, "you sure you won't change your mind?" you asked. You saw him nod without meeting your eyes, determined to keep his word. "Alright, dang, I feel bad whoever gets to be your soulmate." you chuckled.

"You're still love struck bout finding them? You got three years left til you actually get your tattoo. What's the rush?" he grinned after a moment of silence. You raise your eyebrows, "there's no rush. I just." you sighed, looking down at your two feet, your shoelaces both tied to a tight knot.

"I really really want to meet them." you sucked in your lips, hearing Jaemin let out a chuckle. "No kidding, y/n." he joked which made you glare at him. "I'm serious." you said, looking into his eyes with full seriousness to prove to him that you're actually that hyped up.

"I really really want to meet them. " you spoke. "My parents always show so much love for each other and they just make the concept seem so exciting. My mom says meeting your soulmate makes you feel whole and you can't stop yourself from smiling when you're around them." you explained.

"It's something you don't understand." you grinned, booping his nose which caused him to let out a small laugh. "Yeah, because I'm mostly sick of seeing my folks being all lovey dovey infront of me. Now I have my sister doing it," he scrunches his face in disgust.

"No matter, soulmates make each other happy. I'm sure mine is no different." you rolled your eyes, "your soulmate would just spend the rest of their lives being rejected by your stubborn ass," you nudged his side, making him smile. "Oh shut up," he laughed.

"Have you done your homework, mister?" you raised your brow teasingly. His face contorted from disgust to shock, his eyes widening. "We have homework?"

On your sixteenth birthday, you couldn't be more excited. They say the moment you blow your candles, it will start to appear. Jaemin got his on his birthday since he was older, his frown evident everytime he looks at his wrist.

He would cover his mark up with a bracelet or a watch so he wouldn't have to look at it every moment of his life. 'He's still going strong with his distaste for soulmates, huh?' you thought as you stared at yourself at the mirror, preparing for your big day.

The people you love around you, your parents putting down your cake infront of you with candles in the shape of numbers brightly lit. Everyone clapping and singing a happy birthday song before ending it with you blowing your candles.

You felt the skin on your wrist fidget, looking down at your left wrist everyone came closer to see your tattoo. Ink began to appear on your skin, forming a familiar small red heart balloon flying in between two clouds, awing everyone in the room.

Your jaw dropped as your eyes widened at the mark. The ink had stopped appearing, leaving your wrist with a small odd feeling. Like a thin layered sticker sticking to your skin. You looked up at the people around you who gave you compliments at your mark.

Everyone was smiling and congratulating you, however, your parents and Jaemin's parents were'nt looking too bright at your mark. Jaemin was unconsciously holding onto his left wrist which was covered by his new watch.

"Dude, your tattoo looks so aesthetically pleasing."

"Your tattoo looks so cute, do you think you found your soulmate already?"

"I hope you find them soon!"

"Man, I can't wait til I'm 16. That shit looked amazing!"

"Wonder who your soulmate is"

Everyone's words blurred in your ears as your eyes subtly went to Jaemin who was talking to his friends in the corner with a drink in his hand. His eyes met yours before giving you a small half hearted smile. It wasn't genuine. You knew what he was going to say after this party was over.

You gazed at the mark on your left wrist, running your thumb over it gently. Your head deep in the clouds, ignoring the people around you.

"Hey." Jaemin mumbled awkwardly after the party ended, leaving your house empty with just you, Jaemin and both of your parents. "Hey," you replied, tugging the sleeves of your hoodie as you didn't know what to say to him.

"So. We're soulmates." he stated as if it wasn't the obvious. Your eyes went to his left wrist, seeing that he had taken his watch off, leaving the skin a bit red from how tight he put on the watch. The similar mark of a red heart balloon in between two clouds evident on his skin.

"I guess." you shrugged, hugging your pillow to your chest tightly, tightening your grip with every passing second. "Listen, I-" Jaemin spoke after a long excruciating moment of silence. He cut himself off with a deep inhale.

"You know how I feel bout soulmates more than anyone. And it still hasn't change. You know I don't want a soulmate, at least one that's chosen for me." he bit his lip nervously, eyes not meeting yours. You couldn't lie, it felt like a strong punch to your gut. "But, like," Jaemin scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, unsure of what to say. "I don't want to lose you, my best friend, because of this silly stupid mark."

You furrowed your brows. 'He's your soulmate. You're fated to be together. He'll accept the fact soon, right? He just needs a little convincing.' you bit your lip. You were stubborn and you know it. You're gonna change his mind even if it's the last thing you do.

"So, can we just put this behind us-" Jaemin spoke softly before you cut him off. "No," you said in a bold tone, making him look at you wide confused eyes, brows furrowed. "What?" he mumbled.

You look up at him with determined eyes and a bright smile. "I know this isn't going to be easy but I'm going to do whatever it takes to convince you that deep down I know you feel something for me. Why? Cause we're soul mates and sooner or later you're going to accept that!" you huffed dramatically.

Jaemin started at you in disbelief, "don't try to talk me out of this. I'm just as stubborn as you are! I'm not stopping til you accept me as your soulmate," you put your hands on your hips, standing up to push him out of the room. "Wait what, Y/n-" he started as he stumbled to the exit of your room.

"Now get out, starting tomorrow I'm going to convince you. Therefore, I'll be needing tons and tons of rest. Just you wait, Na Jaemin. L/N Y/N is going to work hard for this!" you stuck your tongue out before slamming the door shut. You heard him sigh from the other side of the door before walking away half a minute later.

You leaned your back against the door in exhaustion, sliding down to sit down on the floor. Your smile turning to a quick frown as you ran a hand through your hair in frustration. This is going to be tough.

#nct angst #nct x reader #nct #nctzen #nct au #nct jaemin #nct dream x you #nct dream x reader #nct dream #nct dream jaemin #jaemin x you #na jaemin #jaemin x reader #na jaemin x reader #nct x you #nct jaemin x reader

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barnesbabee · 3 years

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Okay. Here goes;

I'm gonna address her as L. L used to cancel on me quite a lot a few years ago, she would wait until we were either about to meet up or it was a few minutes after to say "I'm not coming" or "I havant left the house yet, I'm still in bed," giving me a wasted PAID journey. I'm totally okay with people needing to cancel if they tell me in plenty of time. I've had people cancel on me but they've always told me at least an hour before, which I'm completely fine with.

Once when I was at work, she called me, said she felt really down and I needed to come see her. At that time I couldn't, (there was an incident at work and police were there so I couldn't exactly vanish and told her this), god I was called every name under the sun. A bitch, a c*nt, that I didn't care about her. Even told me if she killed herself, it would be my fault. I had a panic attack in work. Ended up having to leave early anyway and when I got to her, her first words to me were, "wanna go to the cinema?" I was like o.o what? I remember us arguing about it and then we didn't talk for about a month. She said she only made that comment because she knew I would come to her :(

During that time I was fresh out of a bad relationship, so I was quite sad and vulnerable and looking back, idk if she was taking advantage of that vulnerability or not.

She did end up apologising and we had a very long and serious talk about it.

About 3 weeks ago now, I had a week off annual leave from work, and my mum and I went fishing together, just to get some peace and quiet and have time out of the house. I went fishing on the Saturday, had made a post about how I would be gone for probably about 10 hours and where we went, the signal isn't the best and that if anyone needed me, I'd get back to them when I had signal, L purposely blew up my phone with phone calls and messaged me on snapchat, saying how I was a bad friend for not answering her calls and that I needed to pick up. That today was an important day to her and she needed to speak with me. I genuinely felt awful that I hurt her :( until it turned out that the important day was her cousin having her baby. I had 45 missed calls from her...

Honestly, looking back NOW, my partner and I have realized she can be quite manipulative and she has toxic traits. And he thinks I'm so much better off without her. I guess it just partly annoyed me because we were best friends when we were kids until the whole vaccine comments.

In the last 7 hours, I've received a message from her asking if we can meet up tomorrow, reading it I felt more pissed off than anything else. I haven't responded to her and I don't want to.

(She has done other things but these are the worst)

I feel like I've been too nice to her and given her too many chances that now I'm just exhausted...

I'm like a pro at not knowing when to let go because you just like someone too much, and cling onto memories

But when it's time, it's time. I know what it feels like, that little sadness inside remembering the good old times, but people change, and not for the better sometimes and you just gotta think that the person you liked is gone

I can't believe you actually put up with that and I'm happy that you got out of that, and I hope you keep staying out of it

and trust me, she's texting not because she misses you, but because she doesn't have anyone to manipulate and gaslight anymore

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stimmypaw · 3 years

Text

Stimmypaw reads Darkest Night! The fourth text post!

Back with these uh live reading comments! Remember those? yeah! I'm on the fourth book of Warrior Cats: A Vision of Shadows :D I read The Apprentice's Quest and Thunder and Shadow and Shattered Sky and now!! I'm here :D and boy did I have a time. Click read more to see it!

NEEDLETAIL?????????

Needletail???????????

What?????

OH???????

Wh THIS GUY IS TALKIN 2 DEAD PEOPLE????

HOW WHO IS THAT

OH MY GOD

These guys are weak and dumb skyclan is epic and sharing the territory with them is good, but of course sparkpelt isn't dealing well with change wink wink nudge wink nudge nudge huh???? (this is a nod to how I project into her and say shes autistic)

I am getting anxious for tinycloud SERIOUSLY how much longer until those kits??? Everyday you show up and its WOW my tummy ssure is HUGE AND BULGING I just Wonder Oh When They'll Be Born, probably pretty soon!!! :) and then they arent!!!! Birth dammit!!!

Cherryfall cut the sick and hurt cats some slack jeez youre Fine, youre not feeding half the forest and you have THREE medicine cats ready to help you if youre not feeling well

Bastard Cherryfall I hate you /lh

Dovewing and Tigerheart have relationship drama again. What is UP with those two I simply do not understand them

Watching Bramblestar trying to control this bizarre situation is actually funny he is so close to screaming "PLEASE dont be mad :c"

SOON WHEN???? JUST KIT THOSE KITTENS DAMMIT

Get her, Alderheart

They LITERALLY said something about sharing the territory, they were like "Stars have five points baby and we need those 5 clans togetherrrr" what else do these cats want??? I know its a big change but its necessary

Wait everyone shut up that cat is named Podlight this is so important to me

Dang these cats are really still struggling :c I wish they didnt blame each other

Harestar is so cool

What the FUCK mistystar????

God what a disaster of a gathering Starclan is gonna be so pissed everyone is doing the opposite of what they should

I was holding my breath oof

I hope thunderclan gives some territory too thats too small a space for Skyclan

Oh boy oh boy oh boy i am Anxious for these Kitties

Violetpaw is me having nightmares every night

Macgyver is a heavily gringue name and I have No Clue how to say it how the hell do you say it

Update its either Mick Guyver or Mac Guyver apparently

Its fun to see how different the sisters are from one another, I love them both

I also love their mom with the name identical to puddleshine wish I got to meet her

IM CRYING BRO........M...MDB.....NFBANN.....VIOLETPAW BELONGS MY DARLING MY DAUGHTER

Sadly Twigpaw is for gender binarism 😔 /j

Twigpaw is often in her thoughts and doesn't pay attention to anything around her and I love her for that

Bad news Finpaw is gonna lose his tail, good news I can draw his tail fin-shaped

Puddleshine surgeon moment!!!

I love Graystripe and Millie

And I love that being flirty is a part of Sparkpelt's personality, I don't know what Alderheart is talking about she's always been dandelion-headed

Ok this is epic, I’m glad we’re breaking gender roles in Warrior Cats my heart dropped when the books called Briarlight cr*ppled, that’s the thing they promised not to do anymore recently right? I’m not sure but, I could use some uh less ableism on my Warrior Cats, the series is old but the newer books should be better, so yeah, good modernize these cats babyyy

OH COOL Skyclan journey!!! Fun I hope they find someone :] also fuck Molewhisker and Cherryfall bastards.

Jayfeather is gonna miss Alderheart too much for him to leave hehehe

ALL of Starclan showed up just to call out Riverclan pahahah

oooo is shadowclan haunted?????

FINALLY TINYCLOUD IS KITTING YES GOD YES GO QUEEN GOOOO!!!!

I wonder why Twigpaw wants to stay behind, there has to be more than just the camp stuff

"I wish I were more positive like Twigpaw, but at least I'm just as scarred by the death of my loved ones as my dad :] I like being like him"

Violetpaw witnesses a car crash 😔 that was a bit messy what happened to those cars also why the hell was one of them smaller was it a bike??? Or ???? Idk what's up with it!!!

Needletail just happens to have slow-down turned on for her on the discord chat so she can only say like a few words each hour :/ why the hell is she here tho Violetpaw needs to get OVER your death!!!!

This short exchange has made me love Dewpaw

Also, I love Twigpaw, I still wonder why she stayed behind tho

Ahh, is it cus she feels too estranged from her family :c ? I wish her mom was around maybe that would help

Jee Twigpaw be a tad more empathic, I can see Twigpaw struggles with that sometimes

You can't cheer him up right now he's grieving, just find him on common ground, talk to him, don't try to make him happy just try to keep him company

Oh wow finpaw that's a dangerous thing to say I hope Twigpaw doesn't crumble under the pressure to never be sad because people like her because she's happy and her being sad would be bad

ALSO I JUST REMMEMBRERD UH TWIGPAW MENTIONED BRIARLIGHT BUT BERRYNOSE IS RIGHT THERE???? HE IS RIGHT HE DIDNT DIE OFF SCREEN IM SURE OF IT WAIY

BERRYNOSS IS RIGHT THERE I CHDCKED!!!! HE LOST HIS TAIL TOO AND HES A GREAT WARRIOR, TWIGPAW!!!! YOU SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED IT ITS MORE RELATABLE

Okay I'm glad they're getting along this is nice

Oh look twigpaw you Are like your father :] this is cute

Skyclan begins to fish competitively I'm glad

I like it when medicine cats bicker about their leader's behaviors ehheheh, Jayfeather talking about how weak Shadowclan is, Alderheart being annoyed at his father for wanting to stay silent, the others worried about the tensions this is all cheff the kisser

Jayfeather spitting the truths about how Starclan doesn't know shit, and he is very much one to speak

Puddleshine: Rowanstar stepped up the patrols :c

Leadstar: He has warriors enough for that?? Damn good for him

Dang poor Skyclan I hope they manage stuff better soon

Oooo the girls are fighting!!!

Alderheart starclan anxiety time dang

Sheep :]

Needletail :[

I'm sad Ravenpaw isn't here, this is a lovely reunion scene but knowing Barley will be alone when they all leave breaks my heart

Oh, maybe not, but if they stay I'll be sad also cus Skyclan needs its warriors

Aw man, Twigpaw is struggling :c

OUCH

I WANT SKYCLAN 2 SWIM THO......

Omg crimes

That sounds kinda possessive twigpaw!

DOVEWING?????

WhHAHAGAHAHA WHERE DID THAT COME FROM

omg tigerstar 2 real

Whats he gonna do to rowanstar???

ALRIGHT THATA OVER THEN PAHAHA

Aw, I'm glad they're having fun tho, and that twigpaw sees herself as skyclan

Alderheart, as he meets someone for the first time in a while: ARE YOU OKAY???

Blackstar protagonist moment

The medicine cats: our gods are toying with us again and destiny is uncertain

Leaders: I cannot DO this right now PLEASE leave and let me care for The Real Issues

Alderheart: YOU WILL hang out at my house Willowshine this isn't up for debate

Riverclan suffered enough and it's their turn to throw a tantrum about it, honestly good for them hsghahah

Alderheart asks his father to go on a quest to check people's feet

WHAT THR HELL IS A CANTANKEROUS

Alderheart and Willowpelt sitting there watching Shadowclan fight

This is really funny

HEWWO????

Puddleshine, in his eyes: help help

I love Skyclan

Ok this sounds like it's gonna be very very fun

Mission impossible: Escape From São Paulo

Oh, is Fallowfern deaf? That's so poggers omg I wanna see more of her

Edit: fallowfern is an elder that lost her hearing with age and retired after that happened :/ boring

I love leafstar so much

Juniperclaw: aren't you gonna punish her????

Leafstar: why

Juniperclaw: when I tell rowanstar he's gonna be pissed

Leafstar: don't tell him

Juniperclaw: the fuck is wrong with you and your clan??? Where is everyone???????

Leafstar: busy

Icon

I don't trust abled people specially able-bodied people telling disabled people they just have to train harder and feeling sorry for yourself won't help.

But this is the closest to a positive message to disabled people we have ever had in warriors so I guess I'll take it but I want better

IVYPOOL!!!💖💖💖💖💕

Dang ivypool what a way to show someone you miss them hahaha

Twigpaw: uhhhh how's dovewing?

Ivypool: what do you mean did she do something illegal I'm sure she did

Ivypool is a seriously funny character WHY are you yelling at the young adult about your sisters illegal activities she doesn't know anything about it!!!!

Alderheart goes on an adventure

Feet inspector on the road!!!!

Jasper is so funny I love him

Omg what's he got against clan cats??? What's his sad backstory????

YEESSSS SPARKPELT MY LOVE 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕💕💕💕💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💕💕💕

Sparkpelt your opinion sucks but I love you

I'm really really glad they had this moment this is really sweet, they hadn't talked for a while but this is genuine like, we hadn't had this sort of relationship in so long in the books with just, dialogue yknow??? THEYRE TALKING ABOUT THINGS

And the pause Sparkpelt takes between her speaking to fix what she's saying "I'm sorry for saving you :c no wait uhh not exactly but like" this is so good so natural so fun I love you sparkpelt

I get why she has a diferent opinion on Skyclan it's good for someone close to Alderheart to have a different mindset from him and for him to have someone like uh be opposites from him a lil yknow contrats his characteristics makes both siblings fun round and full of kitty do you get what I'm saying???

I love this

I love Sparkpelt, love her lil anxious moments, love her, love that she just wants to fool around with toms and enjoys Larksong but doesn't want to get serious you go girl

They wanted to write smart-ass they wanted to write smart-ass so bad

They're doing this in the rain?????

I'm quite certain Violetpaw is a young adult by this point its valid for her to go

Wh why did you let your cat out in the rain dude!!! When it comes back it's gonna dirty up the whole place it's wet out there!!!! And the cold is gonna get in the house!!!!!!!

I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH OH LORD

That was SO INTENSE AND SO FUNNY AND SO MUCH, IM SO GLAD SHE MADE IT I GOT SCARED

Oh this is so epic

That moment when your cat nearly dies and then it runs off and you go after it and then a bunch of other cats show up and start running with it

I hope Twigpaw can see the others soon

Glad to see her keeping her medicine cat knowledge ehehehe

???????

Sandynose I hate you you are so abled

Sandynose: I don't want my son to feel distanced from his peers so I'm distancing him from his peers

DOVEWING???

SANDYNOSE SHUT UP IM GOING TO KILL YOU ANS MURDER YOU

I'm so upset with Sandynose WHY isn't leafstar seeing this WHY DOESNG ANYONE SEE THIS SOMSONE PLEASE CONFORT AND LOVE MY CHILD TWIGPAW DOESNT DESERVE THIS

Angry sad upset why

Piscina

Thanks graystripe

Ok who's dying this time

Ok no one just a background cat got hurt he will survive otherwise it would be relevant

This was intense though what will happen now???

YES FINALLY

Oh this is lovely so good they're here!!! The rest of skyclan has arrived and we are all happy together

That dream felt good

NEEDLETAIL??? AGAIN

Where were you at!!!!

What!!!

Check this man's feet how many toes are there this could be good

What

Hegshahwha what the fuck is up with this guy

Okay I like him

Ohhh THATS tree

Change your name if you don't like it you sound trans already

Yeah nothing makes one smarter like dying

This is very fun I'm excited for more of whatever happening

Twigpaw :c

HIS SNIFFLES

Oh no

Hhhhnn I want Twigpaw to be happy so bad, I hate seeing her struggles

Sandynose you are so evil and very detested by me

You can and you SHOULD feel angry at Sandynose he SUCKS and he is being needlessly mean at you!!!!! There are much better ways to bring up the possibility that maybe you'd be happier with thunderclan!!! Fuck off Sandynose

Oh so Snowbush hasn't improved, maybe he will die?

Poor Alderheart

Oh fuck there he goes

Yeah

Aw man, rip to the background cat

That was a heavy death too

Aw, I was hoping the rest of Skyclan would show up before the gathering, maybe just after it???

I wonder what's going on in Shadowclan

TIGERHEARTS MISSING HUH???

The couple was kidnapped

HUH????

Oh my lord oh fuck

Can't anyone step up to lead why do they depend on Tigerheart so much???

Jesus christ

Alderheart kills his gods

This is so chaotic and funny I'm worried as hell for shadowclan but excited a lot is happening

HI TREE AGSGAHAH

Tawnypelt >:(

Puddleshine: WAIT DONT KICK HIM OUT, CHECK OUT HIS FREAKY FEET INSTEAD

Oh dear

Twigpaw :c

TWIGPAW :CCCC Man rememebr when I said I hope Twigpaw doesn't crumble under the pressure of being happy for others? yeah

GET OUT SANDYNOSE I DONT CARE YOURE BEING REASOMABLE FOR ONCE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN LATER

I'm so heartbroken for them

Uh pdhsgahab okay then

Bye finpaw

Wow that was easy for him

This is fun

I'm still sad as hell

Okay there's a lot going on right now wow

The owl scene was funny as hell to picture, this dramatic prophetic moment and the cats just "uuggh is that a prophecy??? Nooo"

Okay so

There's some shadowclan cats missing, considering the many sleekwhisker maps I'm sure she's up to no good but I have no clue what happened to the others and I hope they're okay

Wow! That was really something

Fantastic ending to a very good book its, definitely a different energy from the third but I'm really enjoying this I'm still excited as hell!!! I got worried things would get kinda bad from here but nope!!!! Very fun stuff for now this is very very good and I am enjoying it

This is definitely one of the most fun arcs I've read so far!!! The drama the stakes the little moments everything is tying together really well into a very fun story I'm enjoying a lot!

I worry for Twigpaw and hope for her happiness, and Violetshine too, hope her and Hawkwing deal well with missing her. Tree is being interesting. Alderheart wasn't much of a focus here but always fun to see him trying to solve the damn prophecy no leaders seem to care about. Mousewhisker was okay??? Lots of very fantastic turns for all events and uh let's see where this all goes next!!!

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megthemewlingquim · 4 years

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Doubts

Summary: You and Loki have a serious conversation about what you believe in.

Pairing: Loki x Christian!Reader

Warnings: Christian beliefs, absolute blasphemy, mentions of God, feelings of inadequacy and doubt, one or two thoughts related to suicide, hurt/comfort

Prompt: Drown by Tyler Joseph. Lyrics from the song will be in bold.

A/N: This is for @kitkatd7 's writing challenge! She's such a sweetheart. The prompt is listed above — it's honestly one of the saddest songs I've ever listened to, and it certainly was a challenge to write this. I can identify and relate to the reader. I basically put you in my shoes. I hope you like this!

All is quiet, but you want to scream.

You feel like you can't breathe, your breath caught in your throat and your wet eyes shut tight, tight, tight —

Though the world around you, including the lover by your side, is silent, your own thoughts attack you. They are not loud but they are frequent.

Do you really think God cares about you? He left you a long time ago. He likes to see you suffer from loneliness and anxiety. He likes it. You don't matter to Him, not at all. Your sinfulness is too great for Him to forgive.

You bite down on your hand to silence your sobs. You barely make a sound — you don't want to make a sound.

You want to die.

You don't want to kill yourself. Dear God, no.

But, hey, if you died right now, and you could escape from your doubts and fears, that'd be fine —

"Don't. Don't say that. Don't even think it."

Oh. He's up. And, even better, he's listening to your thoughts.

"I thought I told you not to do that," you say weakly, not looking over at him.

"They were too loud. Too desperate," Loki whispers. "Turn around, love, let me see you." He's pleading with you.

You comply, turning over in one fast, almost careless motion to look your lover in the face.

"Why — why — why are you thinking like this?" Loki's dumbfounded, stunned. Teary eyed, he tugs you to him, and suddenly you can't keep your sobs away or your arms from gripping onto him for dear life, your knuckles white. You shatter in his embrace, sobbing helplessly.

Loki makes a sound in his throat, a combination of a sigh and a whimper. He grips you to him as well. "What's the matter, my heart? Tell me everything..."

You can't, though you want to. You can't find your breath. All you do for a while is cry as Loki holds you, grateful that he is there.

"Whatever you're thinking," he says quietly, his voice causing low, comforting vibrations in his chest, "all I want you to know is that I love you. I adore you, sweetheart, and if you left..." He draws in a shaky breath. "God, I wouldn't know what I would do... But for now, I will listen to you. All you have to do is talk to me. I can't help you if you don't do that."

You nod, your sniffles becoming more frequent than your cries.

"Now, can we dry those lovely eyes? I can't stand to see you cry." Loki strokes your head, your shaking torso. "Take deep breaths now, love. That's it... Can you talk to me now?"

"Yeah — yeah," you stammer. You're calming down a little, your breaths becoming more even and your thoughts becoming less loud and crushing. It helps some to have Loki's embrace, his kind words and his gentle touches. It helps you know that you're not alone right now, it helps you to know that there's someone next to you to love.

"Okay. Go on. What's the matter with my darling, hmm?" Loki lets go of you a little, holds you a little less tightly. His body remains just as close to yours, though. You, in turn, let your hands fall to the mattress and raise your head a little to look into Loki's eyes.

"I've... I've been having some tr—trouble praying. And — and sleeping. Mostly praying..."

Loki's face softens then.

You were the one to try to help him believe in a God bigger than his world's. Yes, the Nine Realms existed, and they came into being the way he knew, but to you, Earth was created by your God — Who would also have existed as some form of Norse god that Loki knew.

Which is what you tried to tell Loki. Tried.

(Yes, it's confusing, but it's not the issue here...)

Loki was open to believing almost anything, so he listened to your versions of the Bible stories you remembered. He admired the fact that you believed in a very personal God, one that came to Earth to suffer and die for humanity, then defy death and rise again. Fully God and fully man, that's a concept that Loki never understood. But bless him, he tried.

"Oh..." Loki muses. "Why's that?"

"Er — it's just that... on some days... I feel. I feel... lost. I feel... I feel like —" You take a sharp breath. "I feel like God doesn't want to hear from me."

There's a pause. A very uncomfortable one.

"Why — why would that be?" he asks, and he sounds genuinely confused, concerned.

"I don't know," you mutter. "I just think it. I just think that God has turned away, that He doesn't want to be with me and that he doesn't forgive me for anything I've done."

"That's — that's awful," Loki says sadly. "And... I'm sure that's not true... But go on. Anything else that's bothering you?"

"It's just that I do so much, I try so hard to be better, to be what He wants me to be. I wanna be a lot of things. And I fail. I feel like I'm failing miserably, drastically. And then I crash dramatically into a wall I've hit a hundred times before. I fall back into the same mistakes. Then I go to God when I've failed with my choices.

It feels like He doesn't want to forgive me. And I've read stories about how sinning physically hurts God. Like I'm causing him pain. I draw blood. I still ignore the dark red blood stains on the floor. But... I want to go up to Him and ask, "Is the blood mine or Yours?" I'm confused and lost and scared..."

You say all of this slowly, trying to make this as descriptive as possible, for both of your sakes. So that you can better process it and so that Loki can better understand it.

"I don't want to do this anymore," you say blankly.

"It's the guilt," Loki says. "The guilt of sinning."

You nod. "I've just been feeling so alone, so distant from God lately. A part of me just... isn't there. I'm hollow."

"Well, isn't God always with you? That's a thing you told me... He told his followers, 'I am always with you, until the end of the age.'"

"Yeah," you say. "But that's not how I feel. Not all of the time. Sometimes, I'm alright. Other times, I feel so numb and that everything around me is so dark. I'm screaming submission and I don't know if I am dying or living."

"You're speaking in metaphors, love. But I understand. You feel empty. Depressed. Alone."

You sniff, his words sinking in again. The tears resurface.

"All I want is — I want Him to drown me. Dr—drown me in His love. But I never — I never feel worthy of it."

"Oh, no, no, love... No more tears," Loki whispers. "Please, no..." He grips you tighter again. "Sweetheart, I need you to understand something.

"God is with you always, and He sees your pain, okay? You're never alone. Never. And I think what He'd want you to do is talk to Him about it. And... it's good that you feel like you're not worthy, because you're not."

Those words are not what you are expecting to hear. You look up at him, shocked and hurt. "What?!" Your voice tremble.

He gasps, guilt crossing his face. "I didn't mean it like that. What I meant was... you're not worthy, but God doesn't care. Because He died for you. He gave you his grace by that act of love — suffering and dying at the hands of the Romans and the Jews, yeah? He did that for you."

"There's — there's a quote by C.S Lewis that I remember," you say, regaining your mind and emotions. You're starting to feel better, calmer, more helpful. "'When Christ died, He died for you individually just as much as if you'd been the only man in the world.'"

"That's a wonderful thought, my love. Take heart in that. Believe it."

He draws you closer then, kissing your temple. "You're going to be alright. All God wants is to be with you. Don't let your thoughts tell you otherwise. He loves you. He loves you, He loves you, He loves you. And I love you. Oh, my darling, I love you to the ends of the earth. And that is all you need to know."

You sigh, drowsiness suddenly taking you over. "Thank you," you whisper, feeling much better.

"You're absolutely welcome, dear heart. Remember... you're never alone. And God would want you to keep living. Stay alive, because He has better plans for you than this. I promise."

#loki of asgard #loki (marvel)#loki fanfic #loki #loki x you #loki fandom #loki x reader #fluff #hurt/comfort

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dfroza · 3 years

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A Letter to encourage and to unite hearts

Today’s reading of the Scriptures from the New Testament is the 3rd chapter of the Letter of First Thessalonians:

But after all our attempts to come to you were frustrated, we decided it was best for Silvanus and me to stay behind in Athens by ourselves and to send Timothy (our dear brother [and servant of God], our partner in the good news of the Anointed One) to strengthen, comfort, and encourage you in your faith so that you won’t be shaken by the sufferings and wither under this stress that we know lies ahead. Certainly you remember that when we were with you, we warned you of the suffering we would have to endure; now, as you well know, it has happened. This is why I couldn’t stand it anymore and sent Timothy to report on the state of your faith: because I was worried the tempter had tested you and, if so, all of our hard work would have come to nothing.

You can imagine my relief and joy when Timothy returned to us with such good news about you, about your faith and love for us, about how you have such good memories of us and long to see us as much as we long to see you. Hearing this about your faith, brothers and sisters, brought comfort to us in our stress-filled days of trouble and suffering. For if you are set firmly in the Lord, then we can truly live. What thanks would ever be enough to offer God about you for all the jubilant celebration we’ll feel before our God because of you? We remain vigilant in our prayers, night and day praying to once again see your faces and to help complete whatever may be lacking in your faith.

May God Himself, our Father, along with our Lord Jesus, [the Anointed One,] navigate our way to you. May the Lord flood you with an unending, undying love for one another and for all humanity, like our love for you, so that your hearts will be reinforced with His strength, held blameless and holy before God, our Father, when our Lord Jesus, [the Anointed, the Liberating King,] appears along with all His holy ones. [Amen.]

The Letter of First Thessalonians, Chapter 3 (The Voice)

Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is the 21st chapter of the book of Jeremiah that continues with Jeremiah delivering God’s message:

[Start Each Day with a Sense of Justice]

God’s Message to Jeremiah when King Zedekiah sent Pashur son of Malkijah and the priest Zephaniah son of Maaseiah to him with this request: “Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon, has waged war against us. Pray to God for us. Ask him for help. Maybe God will intervene with one of his famous miracles and make him leave.”

But Jeremiah said, “Tell Zedekiah: ‘This is the God of Israel’s Message to you: You can say good-bye to your army, watch morale and weapons flushed down the drain. I’m going to personally lead the king of Babylon and the Chaldeans, against whom you’re fighting so hard, right into the city itself. I’m joining their side and fighting against you, fighting all-out, holding nothing back. And in fierce anger. I’m prepared to wipe out the population of this city, people and animals alike, in a raging epidemic. And then I will personally deliver Zedekiah king of Judah, his princes, and any survivors left in the city who haven’t died from disease, been killed, or starved. I’ll deliver them to Nebuchadnezzar, king of Babylon—yes, hand them over to their enemies, who have come to kill them. He’ll kill them ruthlessly, showing no mercy.’

“And then tell the people at large, ‘God’s Message to you is this: Listen carefully. I’m giving you a choice: life or death. Whoever stays in this city will die—either in battle or by starvation or disease. But whoever goes out and surrenders to the Chaldeans who have surrounded the city will live. You’ll lose everything—but not your life. I’m determined to see this city destroyed. I’m that angry with this place! God’s Decree. I’m going to give it to the king of Babylon, and he’s going to burn it to the ground.’

* * *

“To the royal house of Judah, listen to God’s Message!

House of David, listen—God’s Message to you:

‘Start each day by dealing with justice.

Rescue victims from their exploiters.

Prevent fire—the fire of my anger—

for once it starts, it can’t be put out.

Your evil regime

is fuel for my anger.

Don’t you realize that I’m against you,

yes, against you.

You think you’ve got it made,

all snug and secure.

You say, “Who can possibly get to us?

Who can crash our party?”

Well, I can—and will!

I’ll punish your evil regime.

I’ll start a fire that will rage unchecked,

burn everything in sight to cinders.’”

The Book of Jeremiah, Chapter 21 (The Message)

A link to my personal reading of the Scriptures for friday, September 3 of 2021 with a paired chapter from each Testament of the Bible along with Today’s Proverbs and Psalms

A post by John Parsons about the eternal:

The underlying assumption at work behind the call to do teshuvah is that your life matters and your actions carry profound significance - both in this world and in the world to come. Sin is so dangerous because it damages our very essence, and if unremedied, such damage will be irreversible. Therefore today is the day to seek healing, for your days are numbered in this world and every day you live ratifies the end of your life. The sages say "mitzvah goreret mitzvah" (מצווה גוררת מצווה) - "the reward for a mitzvah (i.e., blessing) is another mitzvah" (Avot 4:2), though of course the logical corollary is also true, "the reward for a sin is another."

“It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest most uninteresting person you can talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree [going] to one or the other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all of our dealings..." (C.S. Lewis: Weight of Glory)

In the Talmud (Makkot 2:6) we read, "They asked of Wisdom: 'What is the sinner's punishment?' It replied, "Evil pursues the sinners" (Prov. 13:21). They asked Prophecy: 'What is the sinner's punishment?' It replied, "The soul that sins shall die" (Ezek. 18:4). Then they asked the Holy One, blessed be He, 'What is the sinner's punishment?' He replied, "He should turn to me and be forgiven. This is the meaning of the verse, "Therefore he guides sinners in the way" (Psalm 25:8) - God guides sinners to do teshuvah in order to find life. Teshuvah is for life! [Hebrew for Christians]

and another:

"Be holy as I am holy" (Lev. 19:2). This doesn't mean wrapping yourself up in some protective cloak of religious rituals as much as it means accepting your own atonement: reconciling who you are with your past, finding healing and real love, and walking in genuine hope... Holiness isn't as much "separation" from the profane as it is "consecration" to the sacred, and in that sense it is teshuvah, a turning of the heart back to reality.... Negatively put, "being holy" is turning away from fear, despair, and anger; positively put, it is embracing the worth and value of life, learning to see the sacred, honoring the Divine Presence, and walking in the radiance of God's love. Now that’s the reason for teshuvah! Hashivenu Adonai - turn us to you, O LORD! [Hebrew for Christians]

9.2.21 • Facebook

Today’s message (Days of Praise) from the Institute for Creation Research

September 3, 2021

Faith, Substance, and Evidence

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)

The 11th chapter of Hebrews, known as the great Hall of Fame of Faith reciting the faith and resulting action of many Old Testament heroes, begins with a description of what faith is.

First, we see that it is the “substance of things hoped for.” Biblically, we know that the Christian “hope” is a hope so real it has substance in the present. None of the people of faith recited in this chapter actually saw the promises made to them come to fruition, but they so believed in them that they lived in the present as if the future were reality.

The word “substance” occurs only two other times in Hebrews. It is used to speak of Christ as the exact representation of God’s essence and nature, “who being the brightness of his glory, and the express image of his person [i.e., substance]” (Hebrews 1:3). It is also translated “confidence,” “for we are made partakers of Christ, if we hold the beginning of our confidence stedfast unto the end” (Hebrews 3:14), and speaks of a deep assurance. Putting this all together, our text could then be rendered “faith is the essence of our assurance of things yet in the future.”

The word “evidence” could be translated “conviction,” or even “proof.” The word implies a logical, airtight argument. “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof [same word as ‘evidence’], for correction, for instruction in righteousness” (2 Timothy 3:16). This sort of evidence is something we know to be true, something about which we have such conviction we act accordingly.

The first half of the verse brings a future truth down into the present; the second half commits our lives to that truth. JDM

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