#god I hate that he died.
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there are no words to describe the depth of loss I feel holding a container of my father’s ashes. this is all that’s left, what he’s been reduced to. this grief is indescribable.
#crying crying crying#I’m holding his ashes a few days before his birthday.#god I hate that he died.#it’s not fair! it’s not fucking fair.#I deserved more time#I deserved the grace that time and distance allows#he owed me that!#he owed me an I love you#he owed me an I’m proud of you#i’m so fucking mad#daddy issues™️#tw grief#pls someone tell me it gets easier#please please please
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Can you imagine those fucking trillionaires waking up from cryo in their fancy ships, finding out it's been 10,000 years, all happy and smug cause everything must be fixed now, that annoying cult leader is long dead, they can go back to earth and re-build society in their image while living in luxury ect ect
Only to find the galaxy in disaster mode, billions of refugees on displaced planets because their planets died, giant creepy beasts eating entire worlds, crazy death wizard people ruling most of the galaxy. All lead by the Supreme Emperor Necrolord Prime God whatever. Who is that annoying cult leader. Who HATES YOU.
#i know i think they wouldve woken up#and died by now#im not sure#but it would be funny#can you imagine that shit#this one guy hated you so much he ate the solar system and became god#nona the ninth#gideon the ninth#harrow the ninth#the locked tomb#tlt#the locked tomb spoilers#spoilers#john gaius#jod
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merlin magic reveal fic where arthur asks “why didn’t you tell me?” and merlin says, mirthless smile and haunted eyes “all my dreams end in fire. fire and burning and dying”
#I just need a fic where merlin has an actual honest to god fear of fire#and the thought of burning in a pyre haunts him#it’s always a very passing remark in fics so I want to see how it’d be explored#and how horrified arthur would be over it#i'm talking graphic depictions of merlin burning in the middle of the square#i'm talking merlin waking up with a scream lodged in his throat because he can still smell the smoke and his own burning flesh#i'm talking merlin's biggest fear being arthur picking up a torch and lighting his pyre#looking as merlin screams and burns and screams and dies with nothing but hate in his eyes#i'm talking merlin being honestly fucking terrified of dying by fire#anyways#merlin#bbc merlin#merlin angst#arthur pendragon#merthur#merlin x arthur
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I think I shoot be allowed to shoot my uncle.
Since birth he’s told me what a “dumb fuckin retard female” I am. He gave me lingerie as a birthday present when I turned 13. He told my mom not to show me “feminazi movies” like Frozen and Brave. He taught his son to lift up my shirts and skirts starting when I was 10 (and my cousin was 4) because he thought it was funny. He taught my cousin to grope me (starting when I was 8 and my cousin was 2) because he thought it was funny. My cousin only stopped doing these things recently because he realized it’s fucking weird. I can see the disgust in my uncle’s face every second he talks to me because he’s a lonely old man with an ex-wife who makes double his salary and a teenaged son who hates him and I’m a twenty year old lesbian who dates and has sex with significantly more women than him on a regular basis. And I think I should be able to kill him, for this and all the other things he’s done! And not just to me, the abuse he put his ex-wife through as well! I literally, as a 6 year old, begged her not to marry him even though it was the first time I’d ever met her because I knew him and I didn’t know her but I knew even the worst woman doesn’t deserve to be with him.
So, submitted for approval of the council, I would like permission to shoot him dead because he deserves it :]
#over sharing on men because I hope this man dies in the worst way possible#since my birth he’s gotten his rocks off on humiliating dehumanizing and specializing me#and nobody gives the slightest fuck#I hope he has a horrific violent death where he’s praying for god to save him but god doesn’t listen because god fucking hates him too!!!!!#proud misandrist#misandry#female rage#kill all males
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Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.
Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.
Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.
Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.
#pjo#percy jackson#nico di angelo#Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?''#and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus#but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3''#and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to''#only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it#and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book#Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out''#Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.''#''this has been so bad for my health''#Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested.#Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him''#Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him.#and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE#though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it.#he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure''#nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards.#which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for
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Pietà
#trigun#trigun maximum#trigun manga#trigun spoilers#vash the stampede#nicholas d. wolfwood#vashwood#spoilers#Did it some time ago while reading trimax and didn't post it because I'm an idiot and forgot about it????#sooooo i'm posting it now because i miss stampede saturdays already MY GOD#anyway i had to cope with Wolfwood death in some ways since it ripped my fucking heart in the most cruel way#jesus... the way he screams and cries because HE'S HOME and then he dies with a gentle smile on his face#the way vash seems to mourn in silence and mantaining his composure#only to discover later that he actually had shortened his lifespan in a moment of pure grief and rage against knives arc#fucking poetic#i hate them so much i wish they had more time i wish they were happy they fucking deserved it fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck#anyway iconographic religion imagery be upon ye i guess#oooooh there are so many christian paintings and sculptures to homosexualize :3c#chronart
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guys i love them i promise i just have the urge to put them through the grinder sometimes
umm on the bright side here's the alternate good ending version lol!!!!!
#haiii ^_^#i didnt know whether to make a seperate post for the good ending one but it wouldve been weird so im just adding it onto here lol#op#one piece#sanji#usopp#god usopp#black leg sanji#vinsmoke sanji#sanuso#usosan#tw blood#tw injury#angst#comic#my art#mintart#ok originally i was gonna use every color but red for the first two pages and only make the butterfly red then make the last page red too#cuz yaaayyy symbolism whatever cringe and then i scrapped it cuz i love working with pink and i was nawt about to figure out#a whole new colour palette during finals week. also i have 5 minutes before class so im speed typing this LOL#anygays thanks lars for the usopp dies brainrot i HATE YOU#he's partly responsible for this actually#i hate how the colours of the last page turned out uurgghghhh im not fixing it tho bye#i like the rest of it tho >_<#i love writing dialogue but silent comics r pretty fun too#ive been doing a couple of those lately and theyve been helping me with gesture and expression practice#lol i love drawing sanji pathetic and in love#i love drawing usopp in general he's my favorite to draw ever im so glad he exists#JUST NOTICED THE LESBIAN COLOUR PALETTE UHHH NOT INTENTIONAL or maybe it could be yuri who knows. they r so very gender#i will draw sanuso yuri soon tho TRUST!!!!!!!!!
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i keep thinking about the fact that unlike sy (who never even thought about how his family might feel about him dying), airplane actually had the option to go back to his family and ultimately decided not to.
like imagine being a parent and finding out that your child chose a life that didn’t have you in it.
just think about the guilt that his parents must have felt when they heard the news. each of them are enjoying time with their new families, but they haven’t spoken to their son in a while. he’s in college though so he’s probably fine. he’s not reaching out saying that he needs help or money or anything though he never asked for much when he was home either.
then they get the call. and they find out that he died alone in his apartment. he was electrocuted while trying to salvage his laptop. and they think he didn’t have to die this way. he never asked them for anything, and now they know that he desperately needed them. he never mentioned how much he struggled, and maybe he would have if they had been in contact more often. but they were too caught up in their own lives to pay attention to him.
no parent should have to out-live their child, but they distanced themselves so much from him that they couldn’t even be there for him when he died.
cough your child could have lived a long, happy, & healthy life and eventually die of old age surrounded by people they love. but instead he died when he was young and alone because he didn’t feel comfortable sharing his problems with you cough cough
#this is mostly about airplane’s parents now that i think about it#fuck those guys#shang qinghua#im shaking him aggressively#and the fact that sqh and sqq NEVER mention their ‘past lives’ with each other (iirc) drives me insane#but it’s also. in character for them to do that. as much as i hate it.#Mr. Repression & Mr. God Complex never talk about their feelings?!?!?!#how shocking.#mxtx svsss#svsss extras#svsss book 4#svsss sqh#sqh#svsss#scumbag self saving system#scumbag system#airplane shooting towards the sky#HE DIED ALONE IN HIS APARTMENT CAUSE HE WAS WORKING HIMSELF TO THE BONE TO PAY RENT!!!!!!#i will never get over that.#shen yuan died alone too but his death is shown differently in different medias so its hard to analyze it imo
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Who had the worst time aboard the TARDIS?
TOURNAMENT MASTERPOST
#genuinely vote peri#i've not seen all of her stories but my god from what i've seen the 80s writers hated her#there are some stories where she'd probably be better off dead#she seems to be in a constant living torturous hell with 6 being constantly nasty too her#this poor woman#okay specific example#her first trip after her introduction (recounted from memory so some details my be wrong)#she and the doctor unknowingly touch a poisonous plant which will kill them slowly and painfully (but fast enough she almost dies by the en#so great they need to find a cure#which is horrendously difficult to find in the best of circumstances#but these aren't the best of circumstances#they get taken hostage pretty quickly and very nearly get executed by firing squad#they get rescued by one of the most unnerving villains i think in the entire show#he creeps on peri constantly#like he gets as close to assaulting her as its possible to depict on tea time telly#and peri can't do anything about it#her life is entirely in this guys hands#like most of the time i find caves of androzani the be so hyperviolent as to be funny#but jesus christ the shit they put peri through in it#anyway by the end she's so ill the doctor has to drag her near lifeless body back to the tardis#gives her the cure and then promptly regenerates#and now peri's nice friendly doctor is uhh tv 6#bad times: quarters
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we were like - rivals, you know? lance and keith neck and neck!
#alternate response for keith based on this comic: oh my god you’re the guy that was always staring at me#lance: I- WHAT! NO#hunk: i mean….#lance: SHUT UP I DID NOT i was just - i was staring HATE INTO YOU#keith: ….so you were staring#dis one made me emotional fellas im ngl#lance simultaneously caring so hard about keith and what he’s doing and what’s going on in that little noggin#while also being so confused as to why he cares so much at all like who even is this guy#klance#vld klance#my art#Voltron#vld
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Vlad has been asleep for a few centuries now, in a goddamn coffin that he specifically made just for that like the weird rich person he is. He was also, the phoenix king.
Or at the very least, one of them.
Honestly, Danny couldn't give less of a flying cheerio how long Vlad would sleep for if it wasn't an inconvenience to it.
But it was.
You see, he's the ghost prince, prince of the infinity realms, dragon of infinity, son of war and ward of time, etc, etc.
And somehow, he has bloody paperwork.
Even though the Infinite Realms fell into Anarchy eons ago.
So he honestly doesn't know why he has paperwork, and it's so much that Danny has been spending centuries doing it and he's so tired of it and then he remembered, hey? Who likes can do mountains of paperwork without breaking a sweat and could finish this way better than Danny could?
Vlad Masters.
Hasn't seen the guy after his mother died, don't know where exactly he is, but he isn't in his lair (yes Danny managed to get in, don't ask how) and Danny is going to find this man by the Ancients because he cannot deal with those anymore.
He barely even made a dent!
Anyways, so Danny goes over to Earth because he hasn't been there for a hot minute, and that's probably where Vlad is and uh, woah there is this really Earth cause it's lookin mighty different to how he saw it last time-
Why was the Earth currently covered in flames? Black flames that look mighty familiar to someone else's that he knows actually. You know, someone who should have been sleeping the centuries away instead of, oh he doesn't know.
Taking over the mortal world?
It even seems that Vlad got himself a goddamn cult too! How neat! How much time did it take you to assemble all these people Vlad? You even gave out pieces of your power when you could've been, oh, he doesn't know.
Helping him with paperwork?
So, he's kinda mad about this, pissed, actually. So, he goes to find where exactly Vlad is in this reign of madness, finds a literal crack in reality and just heads on through because he couldn't care less about that actually.
What he finds is not what he expected.
Cause you know Vlad? Phoenix king who is probably trying to take over the mortal world instead of helping him with paperwork and was supposed to be sleeping inside a coffin?
Yea scratch that. Because that isn't a coffin.
When the hell was Vlad sleeping inside a magical barrier-
And who the heck was that spamming Vlad's signature black flames while laughing manically, and who in the infinite realms were those guys who were currently fighting said spammer.
"What exactly, in the Infinite Realms, happened while I was doing paperwork?"
===
So, the Justice League is now combating a new world ending threat. Some cult who wants to cleanse the world in the name of their deity so they could hand it to him once he reawakens.
Which, apparently, might've been around for centuries, slowly preparing for this day which, dedicated, but not the good kind of dedication really.
So, back to the fight, they're fighting this possible immortal who's been taking over the bodies of each new head of the cult for centuries and, well, he genuinely had power to back him and his cult up.
Not really a shock there, to be fair, since he claimed his powers to originate from the sleeping deity who blessed him with a portion of his power.
Vlad didn't, bro just stole a portion of his power and claimed it as a blessing lawl. Not that the cult knew that-
So the Justice League managed to break their way into the place holding said sleeping deity that also acted as the base for the cult leader and, well. Yea he truly does have the power to back himself up and, if the magic users had anything to say about, a very magically powerful deity he follows too.
So they're kinda screwed if said Deity wakes up, they don't even know when he will actually, neither did the cult leader. He just will 'eventually' which isn't as descriptive as some (read: Batman) would like.
First things first, beat up and disband the cult, figure out a way to prevent the sleeping deity's awakening later.
So they were fighting a battle (shocker I know) with their forces spread between their world and the pocket dimension and things weren't looking quite as good as they hoped. Lots of causalities, both civilians, heroes and even villains alike, a whole lot of magic and powers being thrown about and the monologuing of the cult leader who was floating above said sleeping god.
You could even think it to be symbolic in some way, that he thinks himself above a god.
So, safe to say, in all of this chaos they weren't exactly expecting a new voice to join the fray.
"What exactly, in the Infinite Realms, happened while I was doing paperwork?"
And the owner of said voice, to be a goddamn dragon.
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc#dp x dc crossover#dcxdp#dc x dp crossover#Danny “I don't wanna do this paperwork no more” Phantom#Vlad “Sleeping for centuries cause the woman I loved and the Man I hate died and I don't care about nothing no more” Masters#Except that Vlad got found by some weird ass cult leader who was obsessed with his power and made a cult without his say so#And then also stole a portion of his power because he believed himself to be blessed by a god#A god who was and still is currently sleeping and probably doesn't even know who he is#He's also been splitting off even tinier pieces of Vlad's power to give to the followers#So yea#That's a thing#This all came about because I was imagining Dragon Danny slamming his tail into whatever Vlad is sleeping and telling him to wake up#Why? Originally no reason#but now it was for paperwork lmao
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Curly had two days to act and Swansea had two months.
I think it’s just interesting that every defense of Swansea not immediately acting are the same ones that are argued against for Curly. “He didn’t want to alert Daisuke or makes things worse for Anya either Jimmy!” I mean people also assume that about Curly and the crew. “He has to think about his plan of action and a right moment!” Again so did Curly, power and authority aside, he still would have to think of what he had to do. “He makes sure he doesn’t have to be around Jimmy!” So did Curly and they only do this to an extent, both give Jimmy more than a few opening to keep harassing Anya.
This isn’t defense of Curly nor a damnation of Swansea. Their actions are very parallel to each others in tragic and sour ways when it comes to how they approached helping Anya. In the grand scheme of it all they both did the same thing: Nothing. No action either took stopped the inevitable outcome of her death nor Jimmy’s continued damage to themself.
The only real difference is Swansea didn’t like Jimmy which is pretty substantial, but also just as damning as Curly knowing how bad Jimmy could get to an extent. He had even less of a reason to wait, even more of a reason to act seeing as he was now worried for Anya AND Daisuke. He is not bound by the possible procedure as Captain and actively does not care about what happens next. So what does it matter if he acted in the moment? Why did he wait? I think he’s just as morally complex and grey as Curly and we hold him on a pedestal that still perpetuates things in rape culture the game critiques.
It’s not just enough to dislike and be abrasive to predators/abusers like Jimmy. It’s not enough to just put yourself between them and the other person. It’s not enough to hold tensions when you know someone is vulnerable. He and Curly do the exact same things but on different sides of the coin. I ask how is it better to not turn a blind eye but still not really do anything about what you are seeing? Not until it affects you atleast…
The game makes a big point to not put men doing the bare minimum or who wait to do more on pedestals and I’m actually surprised so many are missing that point.
#like I’m sorry two months? he couldn’t have explained it at all to Daisuke?#he’s no better than Curly and it’s likely Anya found comfort in the fact that Jimmy would at least avoid being around Swansea#tho everything he went off to drink or passed out she would be acutely reminded that things are still taking precedent in his head#she is not his top concern nor is seeking justice for her like he is admittedly more concerned about Daisuke he doesn’t mention her#outside of the fact that they were def talking about what Jimmy did and likely the fact he might’ve crashed the ship but pls don’t mistake#his final acts as being majority for Anya. the game keeps showing how these men keep prioritizing things over her even when they say they#won’t and it’s sad it’s so sad that we keep trying to say but what about him like they all do it#it’s not intentional but that’s what’s also bad about it like I doubt she made a suicide plan with him two months in advance#these characters are acting to get out of this and she knows her ending is not happy if she leaves or not she’s taking that choice to do it#and hell Swansea might not have known by the way he speaks to Daisuke and Jimmy that that was her plan to khs#likely either to just keep her and Curly locked in med bay until they got rescued or died#but it’s all speculation and thinking and I can only implore people to think why are you giving Swansea more credit?#cause I see him bittersweetly so used to the negatives he cares not for futile efforts#two months vs two days and each time nothing was really done for her other than prolonging her suffering around Jimmy#Swansea slept outside utility was drunk most of the time and it’s clear Jimmy was able to have access to Anya whenever#I mean look at the teaser where they sit at the table he is far from her with Daisuke#like it’s just frustration at this point thinking any guy on that ship was doing good by Anya specifically and not for their own reasons#like at least Curly was direct on the issue he still did mostly Jack shit but Swansea doesn’t even let Jimmy know he knows#and that’s another issue in rape culture of men avoiding calling other men what they are even if they hate them like#the game plays with the idea of knowing vs acknowledging and neither truly acknowledge it as a part of their actions#against Jimmy and god no one did better than Anya for Anya. they just weren’t heinous like Jimmy#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#swansea mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#it’s not all men but all men can and do play a part especially in the extreme scenario mouthwashing deposits
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rararararamuda! <3
#fucked up miserable beast. i hope he dies <333333#I REALLY LIKE THIS. WHY WAS I SO MAD ABOUT MY ART THE OTHER DAY SIGH SIGH SIGH#this might be my fave drawing of ramuda ive done heheh#hypnosis mic#hypmic#ramuda amemura#tdd ramuda#the dirty dawg#god i hate that group name . so cringe so fail no wonder they fell apart#GFGHDSJGF#my art
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Do you wanna know how far you've come?
id in alt.
#ashfur#shadowsight#the broken code#myart#lies on the floor. ashfur had been talking in shadowsights head since he was a kid!!! he had been manipuilated the entire time.#shadowkit thought he was special and good and could speak with starclan and god loved him and it was all a lie. it was all made up by ashfu#he touched everything in shadowsights life and ruined all of it. and he hates him so much he hates him so much but he still loves him.#and ashfur is awful and horrible but shadowsight is still heartbroken when he died and. falls on floor. they make me crazyyyy'#IF YOU SAW THIS LAST NIGHT tumblr keeps uploading my shit and deleting my ids. and i didnt want to type it all out again lolll
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oh fuck merlin following after arthur for five seasons, at his heel following him into every battle, every fight, every quest without regard for his own safety. arthur dying on the shore of that damn lake and merlin dying with him but his body remains. arthur goes to avalon and merlin is forced to stay on earth. merlin can’t follow arthur this time. this is one journey merlin and arthur can’t take together. two halves split and kept apart for over fifteen hundred years. goddamn it. these fucking assholes never fail to make me cry. i hate them i hate them i hate them i hate them
#merlin screaming at the lake - screaming at arthur - at how he left him. he left merlin all alone.#merlin is alone and arthur is with all their friends in avalon#gwen tryibg to console merlin over arthurs death by saying that they’ll all be reunited in the otherworld#and that may be true for her and the knights of the round table#but not merlin#merlin will roam the earth for centuries ALONE#its one of the cruelest jokes of the gods#making two people soulmates. theyre each others other half. they are destined to meet and become a legend#they only get ten years together#arthur is taken from merlin. they take his other half. and instead of roaming for forty years in grief and sorrow#they doom him to roam for eternity. soulmates. one who died too young and one who will never meet his end.#soulmates who were destined to meet but never destibed to stay together#FUCK THEM#I HATE THEM#bbc merlin#merlin emrys#arthur pendragon#merthur#angst#its an angst kinda night#i hate them so much#imagine meeting ur literal soulmate. ur other half. half of your soul. and holding them as they die. and end up being immortal.#i would fight god#wtf do you mean by that#nahh nah nah cmere and catch these immortal hands#what are u gonna do? kill me??
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wishing a good pride month to people who, in middle school, had too many thoughts on nico di angelo's character
#putting tags is so weird rn i hate this update 😩😩#nico di angelo#nico pjo#pjo#he meant so much he#pride month#percy jackson#oh god i can’t believe i’m using these tags again i guess time is cylic
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