#god I hate being this insecure.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr was created by web developers David Karp and Marco Arment.
Text
[Dbls DNI.]
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Speaking of ocs, I have no idea why I deleted this drawing off here. I think I hated it when I finished it, and now I looked back on it and I'm like, this is pretty okay??
#also I hate how you guys have literally sent asks for my oc game(thanks!!!!)#but i still feel this weird 'oh god im being so annoying' ickyness#will i never be freed from the prison which is my own head#im like ah i need to draw ocs more :) its comforting#and then i start drawing them more#and my brain starts clawing itself abt having not drawn any fanart in a bit#tbf i dont really have good ideas for either 😭😭#but thank you guys for supporting my recent endeavors :)#even if i still feel anxious abt it. all your asks have made me feel very soft <3#but yah idk i try to engrain in myself: my blog i do what i want#and then i still get insecure abt being annoying. but you guys dont care :) so i need to stop caring#idk i think people could literally yell at me that im not being annoying and id still have to go lay in the dark +#and have an entire self monolog to myself abt how im a plague upon this world#catie.art.
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
….The shot of Vox looking so afraid of Alastor makes me wonder if he’ll- if not have a redemption arc, maybe he’ll lean more morally grey somehow? I mean, it seems unlikely given *gestures at the “THEYRE GONNA DIE >:)!!” Trailer gif but like . I don’t know !!! That scared look is just not something someone evil would have !!!
#that and the way he seemed so insecure and also the hints at his past admiration of Alastor feel like they’re going to build up to something#idk maybe I’m just too hopeful because he’s my baby girl but like !!!!#hhhhhhh from just that little song alone I can tell he’s going to have so much fucking depth#and god I can’t wait to see his dynamic with alastor more often . like I know Alastor doesn’t seem to care for vox almost at all in the song#and again I’m probably just being too hopeful but like .#it *feels* like they’ll have more history than just that . I mean sure maybe Vox is just bitter over having been rejected but this fear and#the fact that he asked Alastor to join his team but now hates him so much… it feels like more went down than just a simple rejection .#maybe Alastor was more cruel with his rejection than strictly necessary? maybe Vox is just that insecure ??? I don’t know but god am I#excited to find out
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
vent
#god everything fucking sucks rn.#i hate how i look i hate everything about me i cant stand looking in the mirror because all i see is a disgusting ugly cis woman and thats#all people see im not skinny or white or pretty#the world sucks im stuck in a job i hate thats killing me inside to do im grasping at thw weakest straws to stay alive i genuinely dont kno#what to do im never going to be nonbinary im never going to be seen as pretty because im not elf androgynous white nonbinar#im tired im in pain i hate being this way its so over for me i barely have motivation to live but oohhh i need to anyways fuck man :(#i hate my body my face my personality eevryone fucking hates me im always so insecure about everything always needing#validation from everyone and im so emptional and i overthink blegh#i think the solution is killing myself☝️☝️☝️☝️
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
oh this is going to be......... a problem actually
#me when i start wips i KNOW are going to be so much longer than i want them to be#I KNOW IT I FUCKING SEE IT IN MY MIND#every time Every Single Time#to make things even better it's vega and warden AGAIN#which is objectively not a bad thing because i love them deeply and intensely#but in terms of my bitter and hateful need to be externally validated this is some of the worst news possible because#what it inevitably means is tens of hours of my life in exchange for maybe 30 or 40 notes lmao#half of which are my own self rbs#head in HANDS. why cant i just like writing about characters that are easily and broadly popular#i should have conditioned myself harder into liking milo or asher or sam something#OR DAVID AND ANGEL. GOD my life would be so much easier if i liked david and angel#(you know full well this is not an attack on people who do like those characters. don't pretend like it is so you have an excuse to be rude#i say it every fucking time I AM NOT OWED ANYTHING I GET IT I UNDERSTAND#doesn't mean it's not disheartening to make tens of thousands of words and see almost no acknowledgement of it at all#yes again for the millionth time: nobody is OBLIGATED to like my writing or like the characters i write about YOU DON'T HAVE TO#once again: you KNOW that is not the thing i am bitching about here#i am a hateful spiteful bitch for DIFFERENT reasons#those reasons being i have a deeply insecure and desperate need for validation that no amount of 'art for art's sake!' can cure#art for art's sake is all well and good. doesn't ever seem to make me feel better though#delete later
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
ughh why do i have to have njghtmares about them
#in it i was fighting w him over text and then hetm gangsd uep on me#sorry uemin so tired#i have been having a hard time being labelled a quote unquote cheater when i very strongly feel like thats not what happened#and it bothers me knowing that they get to justify their side and avoid responsibility by calling me that#when again. we were literally broken up when i sent that text to the wrong chat#and to be even more fair to me it was the lightest thing of all time it was playful kissies and lovings#like all of this is so wack. like to be labelled that while doing something so small while we werent even together#the drawing stuff is literally normal . ive done that with my kther friends before i even met sable. you are ridiculous#like it just aggrivates me because thats such a sticky smear to put on somebody especially when thats not even what happened#its so overblown and i think thats on purpose to have one last thing to justify your side#and ignore the fact that he was not the best partner to me and stressed me tf out all the time#like how am i a cheater when i played by your rules the whole time we were together#because of how insecure you are. uou let your insecurity become your reality#and i realized how much more taken care of i was with angelo and how naturally we flow together#its so natural to talk to him he is what i have needed. i would be foolish not to pick prince charming#over someone who i felt only fed me stress and anxiety and worry about everything including potential addiction issues#knowing theyre bipolar. knowing they have bpd. participating in dangerous behavior all the time#i feel like calling me a cheater when thats not what fuckin happened is just to handwave away wtf you did wrong the entire time#if i actually cheated id have been slobbering on angels meat the whole time like im sorry#id have been doing spins on it and gagging on it every night but the thing is i didnt#i stayed loyal to you while with you and confided in them as friends while you continuously demanded time from me#that wasnt organic and it was forced half of the time . god i hated playing shit with your stupid ass#so fucking monotone always wanting to do the same shit no variety and always getting upset and throwing tantrums over the smallest things#n then when that behavior once again gets put on me and i get more fucking stressed yeah i turn to my other friends#that arent anything like the other friendgroup because they dont do shit about anything and dont really gaf about snything#except for their own problems#and i confide in the other group because they actually show that they care about me. they relieve stress for me like friends are supposed 2
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
My two best friends just started dating.
For the past few months, that was my biggest fear. I told them as such.
They told me on Thursday. Thursday was a very rough day. A lot of crying happened. A lot of angry tears.
Friday was a rough day. A lot of sadness. But we talked it out.
Today is their first date.
I’m coming around. I’m happy for them.
#now that I’ve gotten to process this#I will probably talk about it a bit#if no one minds#as an aroace person#my god#I’ve never hated myself for being aroace#I didn’t think I was still insecure about being aroace#so#yeah I want to talk about it to the anonymous internet#aromantic#asexual#aroace thoughts#making a tag for this#tag about the fiasco
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me after seeing the body of the girl he likes
#lana del rey#jealousy#being a girl#hell is a teenage girl#i hate my body#i hate everything#sadgirl#cruel world#im just a girl#insecurity#man jerking#this is what makes us girls#perfect butt#perfect breast#i wanna be perfect#like her#god help us all#so me coded#life is sad#hate him#tumblr girls#girlblogging
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
New hair who dis
#my face#good god am i insecure af rn and hate everything about myself but hey i have cool hair#hair dye#anyone wanna just come kill me? cause im ready to not feel like i wanna vomit just thinking about what i have to do#and when i nearly have a panic attack everytime i have to go to work#im not cut out for being alive#think i gotta just let go sometimes
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
one thing about buddy is that theyre so fucking cold
#idk why im posting this#anyway. its like -7 C outside. and yesterday i was outside for like 3 hours w a friend and i was SO COLD#i like winter!! and snow!!! and the crisp air!!!!! and snow!!!!!! again!!#but dear god my body was not made for the cold. thought my hands were gonna fall off#my art#my funky guys#bud HATES being cold and they HATE being wet and whenever they are they look so fucking miserable#theyre the type of person whos hands are constantly cold and dry and look like the hands of a drowned corpse<3333#they hate snow in particular. HMMM i wonder where That came from...#im rlly insecure about posting shitty doodles like this..... i have a HUGE pile of doodles and concepts n shit that just sit in my files...#maybe i should start posting more of em#idk#this post is mostly for one beloved mutual of mine anyway<333#fuck it i can do what i want!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
i ended up having a like. 30 minute conversation with some of those "freedom convoy" people. was at the bus stop. they were wearing trump hats. i ended up roped into the conversation because i was so taken aback at seeing one in public i was just. staring at it. ive never felt more depressed about someone elses life and beliefs than when i talked to them.
#they fucking. tokd me about the litterboxes in schools for kids identifying as cats and i had to#break it to them that that wasnt true and explained that. also explained. what its like yo be autistic. how i find it joyful#and also discussed how they believe trump has been spoken to by god and chosen to lead and how they arent christians or catholics like they#used to be but instead talk directly to him and have him inside them#and also apparently how 15 minute cities in china are used to keep people imprisoned where they are#and we arent a democracy anymore. which was so funny considering. they are participating for a party#running in the election#i gave them my perspective on being transgender and gay and watched them have like. 3 or 4 ''are we the baddies'' moments#explained what puberty blockers actually do. that surgery is paid out of peoples own pockets. that we literally only have#one doctor who can perform these surgeries and hes abt to retire#and at the end of the convo they were like ''youre so pleasant. youre really smart young lady'' and i was like ''ty? i just. read a lot'#god i hope they learned. something. or i changed some opinion. they seemed to have a more positive view of autistic people at least#i just like. fuck dude. these fuckin right wing grifters are ruining these peoples lives.#the lady has been unemployeed since covid cos she got sucked into this antivax stuff and now theyre both financially unstable#perfect targets for tamaki and the freedoms people who were known for squeezing money out of people through bogus religious stuff#those two have been twisted into just. hateful and scared and are saying the most. insane shit and they dont even realize it.#and the worst part of it was the amount of young people there. so many people my age just deluded into this nonsense.#and kids JESUS CHRIST so many kids holding signs about ''protecting the kiwi way of life'' like bro every single thing#you are getting upset about an imported culture war. you arent threatened by this shit.#youve latched onto american culture war stuff because youre insecure in your whiteness and existence in a colonial country#its so fucking evil.
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
im tempted to make a massive vent post but idk if that's a good idea
#imjusy gonna yap here#i hate how clingy i am#when theyre not tslking to me i get worried#i feel bad#i feel like im not enough#i always get insecure when i dont have constant reassurance and i hate it#i feel like a selfish asshole man#i make everything about me i think about nobody else but me#and i hate how im like this#i feel like someday theyre gonna get tired of me#tired of my bs#tired of me constantly needing reassurance#i fucking hate being insecure i hate it i dont wanna be like this#i dont how “quirky and silly” ppl make it out to ve#LIKE I FUCKING HAGE MYSELF AND I HATE MYSELF FOR HATING MYSELF#oh my god#rant over#vent post
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
the thing about me is that having a crush is fun for the first little while and then I just slowly become more and more overcome with insecurity about it
#like yeah he's friendly and nice to me but I know there's no chance. NONE. that it means anything at all.#no way. like there's no way he'd ever see me that way. We Just Work Together#and it sucks because I genuinely do enjoy just being friends with him! like there aren't many people I've met#who I genuinely click with and we get along well like that. and we definitely clicked as friends yknow??#and I'm super glad for that. I just feel so stupid for being in love with him when I'm too loud and too awkward and i fidget too much#and I'm just. not an attractive person on ANY level#so like even having a crush is so unrealistic and I hate that. he's the only guy I've ever genuinely wanted to be with#(beyond a brief infatuation that I knew wouldn't work out i was just kinda caught up in the theater stuff yknow)#like.... UGGGHHHH this is bringing up SO many insecurities bc I genuinely want more than a friendship#and gurt called me out the other day by asking how important it is to me that this particular guy likes me back#and I had to play it down bc it's SO important to me like. WHAT am I supposed to do with this??? he's the only guy#I've ever been able to envision a life with and I KNOW daydreaming like that is probably bad and dumb and I just feel#SO stupid for how I'm feeling about this whole thing and yet. I go to church and work with him and it's just really easy and nice#and we work well together and get along and it's just GOOD#and I want that forever#and idk what God is trying to do here but it's making me feel SO STUPID all the time!!!!!! girl help!!!!!!#Lu rambles
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
i love how when you show Dhurke his own badge he says that if you get good at catching the food people throw at you you can make a meal out of it and it suddenly makes Apollo so sad. he's like damn we were that poor huh KRKF
#psy's no punctuation posts#aa tag#SOJ notes#which again. I KNEW ITTTT#Dhurke doing his best to provide for his kids and struggling with being able to feed them. oh my god#it might also just be that Apollo feels bad that he didn't realize how much people hated Dhurke but idk#i choose the food insecurity implication lol
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
posting your artwork publically can be so rewarding and so motivating but most of the time it just results in psychological turmoil inflicted on yourself
#like oh my god girl help#im so sad and over my confidence to do with my art being paper thin and fragile but nothing changes no matter how much i like a piece#i hate the idea that artists only draw for interaction bc i definitely do not do that id have to be stupid to with the stuff i draw#but i also hate the idea that artists shouldn't want interaction on their work? like it's a very human emotion to want your work to be seen?#i just wish people liked my stuff more truly. im aware my style is specific and to a particular taste and ik that my work isn't the like#high flawless standard of most traditional art that gets posted. like ik that and like god i wish i had that skill level but i don't!!#i like what i do tho i just wish it felt like a lot of other people did idk maybe that's vain or something. I don't know!!#i wish i did digital art but i hate working digital lol#ppl don't believe me when i say that digital art is preferred over traditional online but i rlly believe it's true#and if your traditional art does well it's at the level of digital art flawlessness#im simultaneously like im too young to be crazy good like other people online but also im too old to be on the path to getting good. yk#i blame it on a small fandom sometimes but that's unfair bc art within small fandoms still does really well#idk i think im just a flop probably but also i think im insecure. schrodinger's online artist crisis#anyways sorry ignore this im just running my mouth don't pity reblog my shit or anything i don't want that#idk what i want but it's not that lmao#i think i want to be better at art and i want people to like my art. which i have like minimal control over.#being an artist is fun until the turmoil sets in
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
living with people who Walk Extremely Fast while needing time alone in the shared house spaces to do your basic selfcare/starting-the-day routines + having Trauma around being seen even fucking existing in shared spaces, including a long-ongoing and hefty dose of it from said people themselves, is a living hell actually. especially when they insist on constantly leaving doors wide open that would normally mitigate the house being a fucking panopticon and also give you like two seconds' warning that they're entering the space so you can brace yourself or leave. Hate
#moogletalks#me: starves myself for hours; takes my medication extremely late; and spends 90% of my time trapped in my bed with my health deteriorating#while waiting for people to Fucking Go Somewhere Else and Stay There for Like 20 Fucking Minutes Jesus Christ#me: finally either musters myself to tiptoe out and quietly go about my business because i thought they found somewhere else to be#or just fucking gives up and braces myself for sandpaper to my triggers + probably filling the Flip Out and Abuse Moogle meter a little more#housemates: GOD YOU'RE SO FUCKING LAZY RUDE AND SELFISH YOU JUST WANT TO HOG THE COMMON AREAS AND HAVE EVERY LITTLE THING HOW YOU WANT IT#YOU'RE COLD AND UNFRIENDLY AND ONLY WANT TO LIVE HERE LIKE A LEECH BECAUSE YOU STAY IN YOUR ROOM ALL THE TIME#BUT ALSO I HATE SEEING YOUR FACE AROUND AND YOU DON'T SPEND EVERY MOMENT I CAN SEE YOU ENTERTAINING ME OR BEING ''PRODUCTIVE''#[MULTI-HOUR SCREAMING MATCH AND THREATENING TO MAKE YOU HOMELESS BECAUSE YOU HAD THE UPPITYBITCH AUDACITY TO ASK ME TO TURN A LIGHT OFF WHEN#I LEAVE A ROOM OR MAKE A LIST OF CHORES OR STOP TURNING THE THERMOSTAT TWO DEGREES PAST WHAT YOU CAN TOLERATE]#it's like fucking clockwork and i'm sick of it and when the people involved walk like they're training for the fucking olympics#and constantly remove or invade every single way for you to avoid them the tiniest fucking bit#it makes things a hundred thousand times more stressful!!!!!!!#and i KNOW most of these people would be doing the exact same thing with my bedroom if it was even slightly more socially acceptable#they would be straight up taking the bathroom door off its hinges so they can repeatedly walk in and out while you're trying to take a shit#it is a hundred thousand fucking percent a control thing and i hate it i hate it go AWAY. GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY#abuse cw#ableism cw#venting cw#food insecurity cw#housing insecurity cw#traumatag#adventures in mental illness
2 notes
·
View notes