#goated fuckin idea actually

[evilminji]

Okay... we KNOW that Justice League Dark is actually Competent at their Jobs.

Can banish most Spooks back home with out pausing to look up from their sandwich.

But you know what they HAVEN'T done? Dealt with the fuckin American Government. And all the complexe back-stabbery and "not my depart"ing that entails. The covering of asses and silencing of whistle blowers. Smearing of character. Just... the general BULLSHIT, legal and political, necessary to get those Ecto Acts consigned to the Depths of Hell where they belong.

Amity? Is fine.

Big ol Lair. Nothing nefarious getting in, few people ever bothering to go out. But like... they'd kind like THE OPTION, you know? Kids going to elite colleges. Jobs in other cities. That sorta thing! Maybe even new blood!

Stagnation feels too... Zone.

But they can't exactly FORCE the guys to focus on this one thing. And? They don't exactly... trust? Them? It's not personal. They're just not ghosts. Well, one is. But you can't ask ONE hero to handle all of that by himself! That's just unreasonable! Mr. Brand, while dashing and accomplished, has only so many hours in the day!

But what do DO???

...........well.......... Youngblood has an idea?

What if we annoyed them?

(How bout now? How bout now? How bout now? How bout now? How bout no-?)

Ooooooh~? Says the collectively gathered Ghost Regulars of Amity. Yes, that INCLUDES DANNY. They are INTRIGUED! Ghosts DO enjoy a good haunting. A light bit of Mischief, now and then. Some troublemaking! If you will~

I mean... Muses the resident Stick in the Mud, Phantom. As long as we all agree to some Ground Rules first...

Just until the finally Do Their JOBS, of course.....

The giggling is both bone chilling and filled with plotting. And so! The campaign of ghostly Minor To Moderate Inconveniences, begins! THINK FAST! *appears before Constantine, drops a LITERAL kid in his lap (as in a baby goat), in a "careful, I'm anxious!" Vest, then disappears.* The goat? Starts trying to eat his shirt. And is non magical.

It's the fifth random but slightly difficult to get rid off object or animal, dumped on him in the last two weeks. All juuuuust barely past that threshold where they're precious enough, he wouldn't feel comfortable handing um to some rando and walking away. GDI.

@the-witchhunter @hypewinter @hdgnj @spidori @babbling-babull @lolottes @mutable-manifestation @nerdpoe

[sharkylad]

SPIRITFARER MID GAME SPOILERS

GO PLAY THIS GAME AND DONT READ IF YOURE INTERESTED IN THIS CUTE ASS GAME

You can hug the NPCs with some gorgeous animations, what more do you want.

ATUL

ATULLLLLL!!!!!

ATULLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE JUST UP AND LEFT IM NOT OKAY

I THOUGHT- I THOUGHT ID GET TO THE END OF HIS QUEST, AND HE'D BE LIKE "I think I'm ready" CAUSE HE GOT TO SPEND A LITTLE MORE TIME WITH FAMILY, AND ID JUST NEVER TAKE HIM, BUT HE JUST DID IT HIMSELF!!!! IM NOT OKAY!!!!!!!!

I was yapping to my girlfriend how he was my favorite, and I love having him on my boat, how I don't wanna let him go.

And I really just liked progressing his quests and appealing to him, so I was just doing progress as normal-

I did have a feeling the party would be the last quest of his- BUT,, I DIDNT THINK HE'D DISSAPEAR IN THE NIGHT,,, I THOUGHT ID BE ABLE TO TAKE HIM TO THE EVERDOOR,,,,

I genuinely went through the 5 stages of grief man.

Stage 0: Doubt. After I made him his chicken I was getting emotional over how much I like having this guy around. And sometime around the dinner, before it or after I can't tell for sure, I was thinking "What if he just dissappear. What I don't get to see him again or hug him" LITTLE DID I KNOW-

Stage 1: Denial. Astrid was the one who broke the news to me. I saw the spirit flower icon pop up, and I genuinely just thought the game was fucking with me. I went in his room and my heart sank. Picked up his flower cause I was still thinking "No way the game let's me pick this up, no way this is actually for real"

Stage 2: Bargaining. I went outside, tried to walk with the other Spirits, none of them mentioned anything. I was at a bus stop, and because Alex is my goat, I've kept the music on- but in a last ditch attempt to maybe help me feel better- I asked him to turn it off. It didn't work.

Stage 3: Anger. I went into a group chat with my besties, and I started just screaming about how insane this was and my devastation, the vigor was a lot.

Stage 4: Depression. In the following hours it was all I could think about and it slowly wore of its energy, but not the sadness with it.

Stage 5: Acceptance. The next day on my way to work and back, I'd just listen to Thunder Harvest, and it would come with such a bittersweet feeling. I'd just think about his little flute playing dance and my heart would warm.

This silly fuckin Frog Guy caused me to go through genuine grief, what did they put into this game-

Stella didn't get to say goodbye either,,, oughhhh...

I read that Atul was based after one of the Dev's uncles, who also suddenly dissapeared. Maybe that's why it feels so genuine.

At least Atul got to feel like he was amongst family...

It really got to me that this cheerful sweet guy, someone who brings others up and is filled with so much love is someone who went the way he did.

There's so many interpretations to his disappearance. I've seen people interprate it as him leaving himself to the Everdoor, to spare you the trip (WHICH HURTS ME GREATLY... CAUSE IMAGINE HES SO FILLED WITH LOVE, BUT DIDNT WANT TO SHOW THIS VULNERABLE SIDE OR HIM... AND JUST... SPARED STELLA THE HARD WORK-)

But I've also seen people read it as him finally being at peace with his life and regrets. And that's what someone needs in order to pass on. And I find that sweet... I hope that's the case. He deserves to be at peace with his life and choices and where he is. I can only hope he was happy in his last moments.

While the grief hit me hard- I am just floored with the great execution of this idea. This is the first time a game mechanic not being what it's supposed to got to me to such a deep level.

It allowed me to expirience such a visceral human emotion that simply would not work if I sent him to the Everdoor. The unability to say goodbye is so heartbreaking and something I think is important to expirience.

[that-guest-named-pie]

my beloved mut i have failed you. i was infodumping about the time you infodumped about super paper mario and i forgot the game was super paper mario. i was just sitting there head down head in hands going "it's. fuck it's a paper mario game. it's not thousand year door he didn't like that one. it's the fuckin. the one with mister l" and the person i was infodumping to went "origami king" and i had to say "no it's not fucking origami king do you see mr l in origami king" and they went "well i don't know who mr l is" and my respect for them decreased

How can ANYONE call themselves a Mario fan and NOT know who THE GOAT MR L is???/silly

Jokes aside I do wanna ramble about Mr. L now that I have the excuse to:

Mr. L is such an integral part to Luigi’s character development within Super Paper Mario. He gives Luigi depth, and shows that deep down he HAS an inferiority complex because of his brother. It shows that once you remove his kind heart and his love for his brother (which is essentially what happens when he’s brainwashed.) Then he becomes bitter and harsh, and pretends to be super egotistical to hide his self loathing.

Because Luigi HAS a fragile ego. It’s shown when he INSISTS upon fighting Dimento alone in Castle Bleck the second he insults him, despite the fact that as far as they know Peach and Bowser DIED fighting alone in previous rooms. Because he NEEDED to prove himself as better because Dimento hurt his fragile pride.

Mr. L shows Luigi has a jealous side to him. And it adds on to the prestablished character given to him in previous Paper Mario games of how he HATES being in his brother’s shadow.

Mr L. Also ties into Luigi’s role within the over-arching narrative. It’s stated that his choices will decide whether the dark prognosticus or the light prognosticus succeeded. In the light prognosticus it states that Mario and Luigi will come together to save everyone along with the other 2 heros. But in the dark prognosticus it says Luigi is the ideal host for the Chaos heart.

Why is Luigi the idea host for the chaos heart? Because HIS heart is conflicted. He wants to be happy for his brother but he’s so so so JEALOUS of how everyone adores Mario.

Thats why Mr. L matters!! Because when you first hear Luigi is the one whose choice will decide the fate of the world you feel relieved. “Oh Luigi’s such a sweetheart. He would never.”

But Mr. L makes you doubt it.

Because once you realize the brainwashing didn’t just make him evil and rather just removed his kindness and inhibitions, so that he has NO CHOICE but to put on this mean facade to save his ego, you realize Luigi totally COULD make the wrong choice.

It’s proven time and time again. Like back with the Dimento battle in Castle Bleck. He KNOWS it’s dangerous and he still makes the wrong choice to fight him alone. To heal his wounded pride.

Hell even in the BEGINNING of the game, when we first see Luigi in castle Bleck before he gets brainwashed he gets easily manipulated because the Goomba’s feed his fragile ego, which is how they’re able to betray him later.

And ANOTHER reason Mr. L is important cause it brings this to Mario’s attention. You know who DOESN’T have as bad of inferiority complex issues in future paper mario games? Luigi!! (IGNORING the lack of plot in those games for the sake of how LONG this post is)

And why is that? Because once the gang realizes Mr. L is Luigi and that his inferiority complex is THAT bad theres no WAY they don’t talk to him about it. That’s Mario’s brother dammit. (Thats more headcannon territory though.)

Luigi has an inferiority complex is the moral. And this is why I genuinely believe people need to play Super Paper Mario because it’s such a good representation of that part of his character actually.

And I’m gonna shut myself up here because it is 2AM. And I’ll never stop yapping about Super Paper Mario otherwise

[thesuperiorgenshinaddict]

Can I ask for an Emily x reader from class of 09?

Emily x GN! Reader

AN: yo w i fuckin love emily. literally the goat. tbh i highly doubt emily would date anyone who's not actually at least mildly insane so i'm gonna make reader kinda fucked up yk :thumbsup: Pairing: Emily x GN! Reader Warnings: Drug use, Codependence, Unhealthy relationships, Violence, idk just expect similar shit to the stuff in class of '09

HCs:

The two of you met when you were trying to find a plug to hook you up with some Addy's. It was pretty fucking surprising that you hadn't gotten your hands on some already, but that was mainly because you didn't want to die on the side of the road after downing some fake laced shit.

Emily was apparently a solid dealer. Sold for decent prices and gave discounts to people she liked more and it was pretty easy to ask her. You literally just walked up to her locker with a wad of cash and she tossed you a half-empty pill bottle and talked with you for a hot minute.

Somehow, you managed to win her over by bitching about Ms. Ames once and the two of you spent a shit ton of time together. Like, a LOT of time. Skipping classes together, going to the mall and selling crack, even sleepovers (that had way too much tension to be considered platonic).

After she stopped taking her anti-psychotics, she went full on batshit. All the shit about Emily being actually insane that all the bitchy kids were talking about? Fuck, they weren't lying. Emily was defending you with her fucking life. Fucking Jeffrey called you the lamest insult known to man and she practically jumped that fuckass.

Even though you guys were literally saying 'I love you' to each other like, 9 times a day, she was just your friend. Supposedly anyway.

Honestly, you highkey started thinking that you'd be 'just friends' forever until her gang boyfriend got his old ass hands on a huge fucking package of crack. You told her to sell it because some dumbass middle schooler would probably pay their life savings for half a gram, but of course, she doesn't listen.

Normally this shit would be mild as fuck but her parents were acting up and being bitchy whiny fucks so Emily had the genius idea of snorting a concoction of whatever mystery substances she had on hand and like half the entire supply of coke.

She was fucking blasted as fuck and she had the dead fish eye shit going on when she just started being weirdly clingy and she gave a violent but oddly heartfelt confession. It was like highkey concerning because of the sheer number of threats she not so subtly inserted in but it was endearing in its own twisted way.

Her words were slurred and the entirety of the little speech she gave could be summarized as the same shit she told Nicole in that one route but more sociopathic sounding???

Anyway boom I'm gonna put HC's on what it's like dating her now.

She probably wouldn't bother telling anyone that you two are dating, but it's so obvious. Like, everyone knows.

If someone says one thing that can be taken as offensive in the slightest to you, Emily will fucking pounce on the asshole and curb stomp them. She'd act all nonchalant about it afterwards.

Since a ton of the other people in the school have beef with her, if you defend her and slander the shit out of them, she'll be super happy about it.

Free drugs. She's not worried about OD'ing at all and takes smoke breaks with you all the time when skipping.

You guys have sleepovers like, everyday. Not even an exaggeration at this point. If your parents or her parents try to tell her no, she curses them out. If they're being particularly bold, she goes through with the slashing tires shit and is on the verge of actually beating the shit out of them.

If you ever get her a gift that she actually likes, she's going to constantly flex it. Get her a nice necklace or something and she'll literally never take it off.

Choose your words carefully. She's going to get pissed as fuck if you say one thing that she considers harsh. Drabble time woohoo "...Fuck, this is totally laced." Emily groaned, leaning her face onto her palm. She ran her free hand through her hair. Diverting her gaze from blankly staring at the table, she stared at you and raised an eyebrow. She opened and closed her mouth as if she lost her train of thought before giggling and leaning closer to you. "I love you. Like, I love love you. I'd kill anyone who even dares to be a bitch to you. I'd kill myself if you asked me to." She nonchalantly says. Batting her eyes, Emily firmly tugs you closer to her. She coyly twirls her hair around her finger while pursing her lips — and she's like 2 centimeters away from violently making out with you. What do her lips taste like? Xanax probably. Fuck, she's actually so pretty. "You're not gonna say it back?" She pouts. She's clearly high off her ass right now. At this distance, you notice the little minute details, like how she painted her nails today and how her mascara's just slightly fucked up. With a hesitant 'I love you too', she digs her nails into your shoulders and pulls you in for a kiss. She's acting almost rabid and she desperately wraps her arms around your torso and breathes into your lips. Slipping her tongue in, she pushes you onto the couch and pins your shoulders down. After what feels like a long ass time, she parts the kiss and takes heavy breaths while staring down at you. "Can I stay the night at your place?" AN: lmfao sorry that took a lil while my internet was freaking the fuck out. anyway this was fun as fuck thank youuuu :3

[kittievampire]

Hey. Could you do an hc or fic where instead of mc coming to devildom as an exchange student but was summoneded from an other world by accident. And in the world they were taught to fight and survive in any situation and is really strong. For example they were able to fight belphi off long enough for the demon bros to come. Thanks

Ohohohohoooo shietttt

Sorry it took me so long to get back to you!

I've actually thought about this before, mainly that MC's power is comparable to that of Sebas Tian from Overlord, so I'll use him as a reference. This is a really cool idea tho

Lemme see what I have in my bag, my dear~

Click here if you wanna request!

Warnings: Cursing, Near-Death/Traumatic Experiences, MC is fuckin goated, Very suggestive (Asmo's part)

Lucifer

Would it suck if I said that bro would be slightly relieved to hear you had inhuman strength?

Just one less thing he has to worry about while you're down here

He actually saw your display of ability when you were in a fight at school

He'd gotten there a little too late, however, and witnessed you take a hard punch from a demon

Once he saw you dust yourself off before landing a side kick to the demon's torso, causing them to fly back into the wall, and cause a huge crack to form, he was probably more impressed than anything

Really, bro is more like a proud father that would ask "How did the other guy look?" After a fight involving you

Of course, he dragged the both of you away to scold you

After the other demon was gone, he began asking questions like "Have you always had this ability?", "Where did you come from again?", and "Could I possibly use you to threaten Mammon?"

Mammon

Speaking of the greedy baby boy, he actually walked in on you while you were on an enraging phone call

Baby boy just sat down on your bed, waiting for you to get off of your phone so he could have your full attention

He didn't want to bug you while you were irritated, you're scary and he doesn't want you to be angry with him!

His face pales when he sees you crush your D.D.D. with your bare hand

The device crumpled like a damn paper ball!

He yelped at the sight, sunglasses falling off of his face

You sighed and looked over at him, a smile forming on your face

"What's up, Mammoney?" You asked sweetly

"Uh-uh, nope, we ain't just gonna sit here and pretend like that shit didn't just happen, since when could you, a human, do shit like that! I thought all humans were weak!"

You just kind shrugged. "I'm a different kind of human, mind you, I was summoned here from a different dimension all together. I'm probably not like the humans you're used to interacting with."

Well, the only humans he interacts with are witches

"W-Whatever, I wanted to ask ya if ya had any money I could borrow to pay back the witches, but I might just consider taking ya with me to scare'em off."

Leviathan

The two of you were playing video games one night

You happened to be quite the gamer yourself, only you played more arguably rage-inducing games

You explained to him how you managed to punch a whole through your PC once and he totally doesn't believe you at first

"Yeah, right. A normie like you couldn't possibl-"

You showed him a photo that you'd taken a long time ago when the events transpired

His jaw drops at the damage

"N-No way!"

Is actually pretty amazed by it but lowkey still doesn't believe you until he sees you break Belphegor's wrist and sending him flying with a punch when the Avatar of Sloth attacked you

Asmodeus

Bro immediately gets horny

Especially if he finds out via you getting into a fight with someone over him

Like this lower demon will not get the hint and he puts his hand on Asmo

Homeboy is about to go fucking feral, but before he can, he sees you grab the demon by the throat and slam his body to the concrete, earning a loud crack

"Oh my, MC, I didn't realize how strong you were~"

Looks at you like how we look at the brothers

Horny bastard wants to be manhandled and carried like a bride and he'll get his way soon

Satan

Homie is sooo intrigued when he finds out

He probably saw you mid-meltdown

You thought you were home alone, that's why your door was open

So when you punched a large ass hole in the wall, homie saw it and immediately was like "IntErEstInG"

He'll definitely be the most curious about it

"What are the magical factors behind your powers?", "Do your abilities have limitations?", "Can we test to see if they rival that of a demon's?"

Will definitely try to use you for pranks on Lucifer

Beelzebub

The hungy boi saw you lift one of the weights he uses without too much struggle

He was definitely impressed

Continues eating his burger while walking up to you

"MC, you're really strong. You wanna be my workout partner?"

He believes that if you workout really hard and are really strong, you need more food

So he actually shares his food with you every now and then 🥲

Sometimes though, you'll have to explain to him that you're full and you don't need the extra protein

Belphegor

He finds out the night it happened

It's convenient, really, he was talking about how weak humans were compared to demons while holding you up by your throat, squeezing tighter

"It's pathetic, honestly. You damn humans are no more than insects that deserve to be crushed underfoot. You're better off dead."

He scoffed in amusement as he watched your hands come up to gently grip his wrist

"Humans really are weak. You think pawing at my hand is gonna-"

You break his wrist

He freezes

Processing...

Buffering...

Error 404 not found

Of course, he'd released you

While he was in his state of shock, you managed to catch your breath and land a hard roundhouse kick to his torso, making him fly a few feet, shoes skidding across the floor

"Tch, I spoke too soon..."

Hope you enjoyed, anon!

[cherrychapstick54]

Amnesia Was Her Name

Chapter One: Goat Boy

Title from “Amnesia Was Her Name” by Lemon Demon

Synopsis: Tommy wakes up with a throbbing pain in his head and a lack of memory of what caused it. Luckily, a friend is there to help.

Beforehand: All characters in this series are meant to be 100% fictional. These are not the real people who play the characters, and I do not support William Gold or any of the Dream Team. This story was written by me and @genderlessbleach when I started out as an editor. Later in the story I took over writing to help Bleach with the stress, but until stated otherwise, this was a collaborative effort.

Tommy had woken up, first confused, where was he? A mud hole or hut, possibly a house, a poorly made house then, the floor was hard and soft, and the damn place was cold and wet. He sat himself up, why was he here? His body hurt like a bitch and his head was throbbing, god he couldn’t even remember who he was, that’s not a good thing he’s pretty fucking sure. Pushing himself off the ground with a groan, his bones and joints cracking as he does, fucking hell his clothes were muddy, and was that blood?! Fuck, it is blood.

Tommy doesnt fucking know what to do, so naturally, he screeches, “WHAT THE FUCK!” Why is there so much blood! Is it his?! “Oh god oh god I’m going to die!” The brit was maybe a touch dramatic but he was covered in blood, of course he was going to be fucking dramatic! You don’t just wake up covered in blood one fucking day, that is not fucking normal, let alone something that happens on your average day! He needed to get his mind off of this bullshit and fast.

The blonde boy searched around the dirt hut looking for some clean clothes, he needed to clean himself up, his current clothes were fucking gross. After digging around some chests and stripping himself of his shirt he found some new clothes, granted they happened to be just the same shirt and pants, it wasn’t that bad, the shirt was cool looking and he needed to clean up, so it was a win to the brit. He tried to brush off the grime on his body with just his hands, quickly realizing he needed water in order to do so.

“Fucking hell,” he looked around for a bucket of water and cloth, silently thanking the gods when he found some. The teen cleaned himself off, finally able to put some fresh clothes on.

“Seems like it is time for little ol’ me to get outside.'' He spoke to himself, stretching out only to feel pain run through his body, “ow ow ow oh fuckkkkk-” he stops rubbing over the painful spots, “not doin’ that shit again.” He heads out of the house, feeling the pain run through his body. God, leaving his house wasn’t a good idea, he was immediately stopped by some fuckin’ short ass goat man, how dare this tiny horned dipshit stop him!

“Hey Tommy! Are you alright, cause like last night wasn’t pretty, Wilburs bombing was pretty heavy. I had to drag your poor knocked out ass home after you got knocked out by the explosion! I guess it’s weird for me to ask if you’re alright, you got real fucked up out there. and,,” The goat boy continues talking while Tommy, that’s his name right? That’s what this goat boy said, but is he even trustworthy?

“What are you even saying? Who even are you?” He looked down at the horned boy, “Why are you speaking to me like you know me?” Trying to actually tell the boy about his confusion didn’t seem to work, as all he got in return was a confused stare.

“Tommy how hard did you hit your head man? You’re acting all weird! It’s me Tubbo, your best friend?? Bee boy, your spy for pogtopia, hello man, do you need some ice for your head?” What the boy, or Tubbo said all sounds familiar, but he can’t remember it, like none at all. Weird, it’s probably just nothing though, cause maybe its just his brain forgetting things ‘cause of the bombs and it’ll all come back to him.

“Agh, sorry Tubs,” what- where did Tubs come from? Whatever, “My head still hurts from the bombs, it's hard to think clearly, ya know, blunt force trauma.” He chuckles, hopefully he’s not completely lying. He smiles at the goat boy... Tubbo, hoping that what he said is all true, because he’d like to know what the fuck is happening. Also, thank the gods Tubbo seemed to believe what he said.

“Alright Tom, just stop being all sketchy, okay? I'm going to see if the hole is safe to explore yet. I’ll talk to you later, yeah?” The goat boy then went off towards where Tommy could only assume the bomb site was. Tommy sighed at the leaving of the smaller boy's presence, what a strange little man.

“What the hell is going on?” Tommy questions himself quietly, “Why can’t I just fucking remember everything?!” Nearly screaming the last bit, he heads down the oak pathway, lost in his thoughts about everything.

“Stupid fucking bombs messing up my brain…” The tall boy grumbles, kicking rocks off of the prime path, just trying to get his emotions out any way he can. This all sucks, he just wants to know what’s going on! He groans, sitting down on the edge of the path with an angry thump.

“Why did it have to be me of all god damn people!” He huffs, looking out at the structures that are visible to him from the path, his jaw is clenched as he gazes out at the land.

- Divider credits to @issysh3ll -

[berrypass-de-murdler]

3 - 30 Get Off the No-Die List

uhh this is bookworm russet, she only appears in one episode I think

She is designed by Fletch! I just drew the artwork bc she didn't want to

She doesn't actually know Bookie at all

DON'T READ THE EPISODES WITHOUT READING THE BOOKS!!

OLIVE: I KNOW YOU’RE THERE DETECTIVES… COME OUT!!

Logico and Irratino are hiding in the sewer. The Tekkies walk right overtop of them, but there’s still no time to lose.

LOGICO: I have an idea. We should leave the country.  IRRATINO: Where should we go? Drakonia is likely still in ruins - not to mention not even remotely safe. LOGICO: No, no… there HAS to be a place. A quiet place. A place where I don’t have to put up with daily murder, at least just for a while. There must be a place in Elsewhere. Come on, let’s get to the airport.

There, they meet up with some usual friends, along with Lemon for some reason. 

LOGICO: I thought you were working at TekCo. LEMON: They don’t need me… they don’t care about ethics anyway. I can’t stand another minute working for that horrible Indigo.

Logico doesn’t know much about Indigo, but the things he’s been hearing are disturbing. Could he really be THAT bad?

IRRATINO: Logico, guess what? LOGICO: Don’t fucking say chicken butt. IRRATINO: Dude! No! Look!

The pilot is ‘indisposed’.

LOGICO: I guess we just can’t have nice things.

The other suspects, who are likely hanging around at the airport just to find someone to murder, are Mx. Tangerine and Captain Slate. And Lemon is replacing a currency exchange with a crypto ATM.

LOGICO: Um, hello? LEMON: I didn’t say I was going to stop working for TekCo… I just said I didn’t like it.

Captain Slate is sitting at the baggage claim, on the conveyor belt. She is about to go through the tunnel, but is too big. 

LOGICO: Statement? SLATE: What do you want me to say? I was at the baggage claim.

Tangerine is busy tap-dancing.

TANGERINE: I was on the runway.

Logico inspects a map he found on the floor. It appears to be a treasure map, but he knows there’s something wrong - the place it leads to is a dark alley. This is a fake map meant to trick someone into a violent death - but who made it? He suspects Lemon, the ethicist.

LEMON: Why would you think I’d make something like this? LOGICO: Because you’re too nice to be mentally stable. LEMON: But… why would I make something like this? I have no enemies! LOGICO: CEO Indigo?

Lemon blushes in embarrassment and takes the map back. Logico is starting to become REALLY concerned with how much Lemon wants to kill Indigo.

Irratino checks on Slate. She continues to stop up the conveyor belt until it starts smoking.

IRRATINO: Are you doing alright? SLATE: Fine…

Tino brings out some marot cards, and miraculously, they happen to be depicting Slate and the baggage claim. Does this mean she’s telling the truth?

SLATE: It doesn’t matter what it takes, as long as someone will believe me for once in my fucking life.

Irratino’s not sure how to feel about how intense this is getting. But Logico places the blame on Tangerine, who has done nothing since they got here.

LOGICO: You killed the pilot and delayed another flight for who knows how long! TANGERINE: I thought he was on fire. LOGICO: How do you THINK someone’s on fire? And what good will WHACKING HIM with the fire extinguisher do? TANGERINE: …I don’t fuckin’ know.

They shrug and leave, glowing with apathy. Logico growls and faceplants, flailing. Irratino pats him with a solemn face.

The end!

So apparently one basic drawing on my sideblog of the pac-man ghosts has gotten like exponentially more notes than anything murdle-related I've made, which like

It's nice to be appreciated, that's the first time I've gotten attention on a drawing... I just wish people liked my actual creative work....

I get why they don't but I can dream

The power of Goat Lord compels you!

See you next time murdlers!

[pixiecaps]

hi! i've been thinking about getting into qsmp, but i'm having trouble finding out all that has happened beforehand. is there any archive/history of qsmp blog that could help?

okay so theres no big official way to catch up on lore in the community yet but i can offer you some resources

the official qsmp admins run a youtube acc where they post short recaps! recommend watching those as they’re funny and give a good general idea. but they do skim over a lot of stuff. and theres only two as of right now. QSMP INFO

Heres a fanmade recap videos but theyre also quite behind but they are good for the beginning lore. FANMADE RECAPS

Here is a massive sheet file archiving vods that i think is pretty good for catching up. VODS ARCHIVE

heres the fan wiki i recommend. the fandom website one is a bit ehh. the timeline on this wiki is the best in my opinion!! they make sure to use sources and shit so goated FAN MADE WIKI

i think those are all the resources i know ! hope this helps. if you genuinely wanna brute force it and go through every vod it’ll be a FUN EXPERIENCE. but obviously whatever language group you know you can select one or however many povs you wanna watch from those and get into it that way:3 i recommend bbh & cellbit for getting into lore. cellbit isnt one of the original members so if you start there you do miss like a month of the smp. bbh is one of the originals hes fuckin sick and involved a lot in lore and the rp. i think jaidens pov is nice and easy to get into it but Be Warned. LMAO. roier cause im biased he has a silly pov with the occasional lore. overall yeah if you’re looking to actually watch vods just pick someone and you’ll have a blast!

and if you have any questions i’m here :D👍 day oner

[tafadhali]

Most Listened 2024

Spotify Unwrapped may capture which songs I literally listened to the most this year, but my annual Most Listened playlist captures more the ~*~vibe~*~. It's the songs I discovered or rediscovered this year that I just kept coming back to — here's my abridged version of that list:

Thrash Unreal // Against Me (2007) - Against Me is one of my perennial most-listened-to bands and so each year I'm cycling through a new favorite to have on repeat. This song — in addition to having a pounding beat that makes you want to scream along to it — is the only Against Me song my local karaoke bar has in its catalog so I've played it on repeat on many a long car ride.

Wax & Wane // Alana Henderson (2013) - This was definitely a Spotify suggestion that I immediately latched on to. Love the cello and love its lyrical dexterity. It kind of reminds me of my favorite filk? (In a good way!)

Hands Clean // Alanis Morissette (2002) - I've been getting more into Alanis over the past few years and, as is clear from this list, I 👏 love 👏 a bitter 👏 breakup 👏 song

Happier Than Ever // Billie Eilish (2021) - I LOVE A BITTER BREAKUP SONG. But also this is one of @periru3's go to karaoke songs and after hearing them absolutely fucking kill it week after week, I needed to listen to the real deal. Still think the best way to hear this song is in a crowded bar with Tessa singing but that build!! Something about the simplicity of a line like "'Cause that shit's embarrassing, you were my everything / And all that you did was make me fuckin' sad" really gut punches me.

Pink Pony Club // Chappell Roan (2024) - Finally actually listened to this like a week ago and it is an earworm! I should listen to literally everyone in my life and listen to more Chappell Roan.

No Smoke Without Fire // James Hunter (2006) - This is my favorite track from an album I listened to for my music recommendation algorithm job in 2006, and I've gotten back into it in a big way since P3 vidded it for last Festivids. He has a great retro sound.

I Hung My Head // Johnny Cash (2002) - The best thing about Johnny Cash's American Recordings is there are so many of them and I can (re)discover a new track every year or two that will completely take over my brain. My favorite country songs are full of doom and meaningless violence, and these lyrics are a master class of using passive language to avoid blame while still being overwhelmed by guilt: "My brother's rifle / Went off in my hand." Had no idea this was written by Sting until just now, lol.

Not Like Us // Kendrick Lamar (2024) - I am not immune to the zeitgeist.

Divorce Song // Liz Phair (1991) - This came on in the background and I was listening casually until the combination of deadpan and just absolutely crushing lyrics took the air out of my lungs: And the license said you had to stick around / Until I was dead / But if you're tired of looking at my face / I guess I already am."

Strawberry Blond // Mitski (2013) - This song is totally lovely but also I'm weirdly obsessed with the phrase "strawberry blond" so I was very susceptible.

Amy aka Spent Gladiator // The Mountain Goats (2012) - Listened to a ton of Mountain Goats this year, as always, but this is the one I vidded!

bad idea right? // Olivia Rodrigo (2023) - This is NOT the one I vidded but it is the song that made me realize my love of "brutal" might not be a fluke, but that I might actually just enjoy Olivia Rodrigo — as long as she's in upbeat, bratty mode. The music video for this really hooked me with its '90s vibes and attitude.

Voice in My Throat // Pearl and the Beard (2009) - Heard this one on Ame's character playlist for the Worlds Beyond Number podcast and loved the harmonies.

The Ballad of Lucy Gray Baird // Rachel Zegler (2023) - This one literally did make my Spotify playlist. I feel like I may have listened to this more than anyone alive, but — as you know — I love a bitter breakup song AND I love a dark folk ballad. I also rewatched and reread all of Hunger Games this year, which helped keep the soundtrack in rotation.

Buy You a New Attitude // Tianna Esperanza (2023) - Never going to stop discovering music through NPR, lol. The whole album is good but I love the jazzy sound and swagger of this track.

[the1975attheirverybest]

Brad Troemel, "Art," and S...ATVB

As promised, this is the post about Brad Troemel, his work, his connection to Matty, and what this might mean for "Still....At Their Very Best." Research sources, images of the art described, etc will all be included at the end of this post.

Who is Brad Troemel?

He's a NYC based artist in his mid-thirties who makes "post-internet art." He actually got his start RIGHT HERE on this very platform, Tumblr, in 2009.

What is "Post-internet Art"?

post-internet art is art that is made either using the internet or in association with the internet. The idea of it usually comments on or critiques i the effect of internet use on our culture, aesthetics etc.

For example, this statue of Rihanna. Or this conceptual art performance "ART WHORE"

I should point out that according to the scholarship I look at, not all experts agree that this kind of thing counts as "Art."

What kind of art does Brad Troemel make?

Troemel considers his work to be challenging the traditions of art galleries and exhibitions and thinking about how art objects can exist outside these spaces. Like, in normal, everyday life.

For example, he's made a bench out of old Apple computers (see image below) and the MacBook pic that later became a meme (see below).

He started this in 2009 posting photoshopped images on Tumblr. Later, he went on to open an Etsy store which would mail customers the materials and instructions needed to make the art themselves.

In some cases, he deliberately made art pieces that don't last (fall apart, dissolve, or disappear shortly after they are made).

He's quoted as saying that's work is both rejecting traditional rules and trying to imagine what art might look like if those rules didn’t exist. “You can’t make this with a straight face.You’d have to be a real lunatic to do that."

Some of you might recognize a meme he made during election campaigns that was mistaken for a legit ad for Joe Biden (see below). Troemel eventually had to take it down because he was accused of false advertising/ spreading misinformation/ fake news. which....ironically is his whole point about internet culture, lol.

Today, he does a weekly series of cultural commentary posts on instagram.

What does this have to do with The 1975?

Matty announced on instagram that Troemel has co-written and will be co-directing the "Still....At Their Very Best" show.

How do Matty and Troemel know each other?

Matty's been a fan of his for a while and has liked his posts online, followed him on social media, etc.

On the Ion Pack Podcast, Matty spoke about Troemel's work, describing him as "someone who has strong cultural awareness and someone who gets art from the inside and from the outside. Gets it as an artist and as a consumer of art" and someone who "lit the fire and [Matty's] ass. and that he's been using Brad Troemel's language in interviews. the guy is fuckin' goated."

What does this mean for The 1975 and the "S...ATVB" tour?

WELLL...its not entirely clear yet BUT

Matty's current highlight reel titled "SHOW," has posts that are written as if Brad Troemel made them, not Matty. Hint at what the show is gonna be like?

We know that Troemel's style lines up with, and expands on, Matty's. They both present ideas, ask questions that challenge the status quo, and love irony. So, there's likely to be a lot dramatic irony and cultural criticism within the show

Of what? The posts Matty's made so far have been commenting on cultural constructs of masculinity, so, perhaps a continuation of what he started with ATVB?

What's it gonna look like? idk, but Matty's been really leaning into the TRUMAN BLACK/ MATTY HEALY dichotomy. With the lab coat and name tag onstage and in ATPOAIM, with changing his name to "TRUMAN BLACK" on instagram, etc.

Is he going to dramatize that and "play" both characters? himself AND Truman Black? what about the absurdity that they're BOTH him!

[ will update this as we continue to receive hints about the show.]

Referenced images

Consulted Sources:

New Yorker Article about Troemel: Art Troll

Artspace Bio

Post-Internet Art

[ieatyourbeauty]

Stir the Blood *demon Soap fanfic*

A woman Summons a demon that she nicknames Soap, some demon hunting ensues maybe a romance.

MDNI

warning: some sexual content.

(might be a series might not be we will see)

A abandoned church on hill a dark cold stormy night sounds like a starter for a horror novel, and I guess you can call it that. A girl by the name of Josey lights candles and draws a symbol with chalk on the floor of the church her footsteps echoing in the empty cathedral as she stands in the middle of the circle she takes a knife out making cut on her hand wincing in pain and squeezing it to make it drip on the summoning circle.

Josey: This has to work...please this just has too I have no other choice!

A strong wind enters the old church blowing out the candles the room got colder she could see her breath and she was shivering.....she could only hear her breath and the rain outside, she heard a noise and looked around seeing nothing, she smelled something weird.....laundry soap? stepping away from the circle she took out a rosary in her pocket and grabbed it saying a silent prayer for herself.

Josey: I know I'm damned to hell for doing this but it needed to be done.

Then she heard a voice seeing a figure in front of her she steps back her eyes wide a man with a red skull mask and horns staring her down his wings torn from millennia of use.

???: You are not the first to call me out, and you will not be the last. What is your desire, little mortal.

Josey: I summoned u here for a reason demon the tomb on the book said if I summon u, you have to do my bidding.

???: really now.....why would I do that you only just summoned me you haven't bonded me to ya

He grins approaching her she takes a step back terrified he gets close to her she's breathing heavily looking up at his blue eyes weird set of eyes for a demon she thought she was expecting goat eyes or cat eyes something like that.

???: I won't always be in your control what's stopping me from just killing u here and now...or using you for my own pleasures little mortal.

Josey: ARCO!

All the sudden the demon felt his power draining he dropped to his knees feeling a restraint on his neck choking him he glared up at her his eyes full of rage reaching up at her, she moves away from him a shocked look, stunned that the words actually worked.

???: Do you know what demon your messing with human bitch?!

Josey: DEORSUM!

The spell pins the demon down she stands over him now determined.

Josey: if u even think about doing me harm this enchantment I put on u drains your powers so you'll feel like a mortal I know yall demons hate that!

The demon snarls at her, but is powerless to do anything else, and glares at her as she stands above him she puts a collar on his neck.

???: You really have no fuckin idea what you've done, mortal. When the time is right, I will break free. Then I will make you regret this witch!

Josey: right... until then come with me demon my home is in the woods I will discuss my plan with you there.

The demon had to think of a plan how was he going to break this mortal woman betting? seducing? Anything? She walks away the demon reluctantly following her behind, he's seething with rage and plotting on how he would try to betray the woman. As the demon and mortal are walking through the forest she looks at him and smirks.

Josey: you know when I summoned you I expected to smell sulfur and brimstone but oddly enough it smelled like laundry soap.....ah I have to give my new pet a name right?....hmmm I'll call you Soap!

Soap: what a stupid name! that's no name for a demon!

Josey: your name is Soap now deal with it ahhh home sweet home.

She laughs as they approach her house, They enter the home and go upstairs to her bedroom and she discusses her plan with Soap the demon. Soap crossing his arms leaning on a wall waiting for her to talk not like he has a choice still livid over the name she forced onto him..

Josey: There are demons in this city with human's who do their bidding and I'm going to kill them all with your help of course. you can take care of the demons while I take care of the human part of the problem I need to hunt these fuckers down.

Soap: so you need me to do your dirty work why not do it yourself.

Josey: well as u so pointed out Soap I'm a mortal I cant exactly kill a demon which is why I summoned you supposedly your a powerful demon though being contained by me I might have made a mistake and gotten a weakling...

This pissed soap off as he got closer to her but he couldn't do anything but stare at her his blue eyes piercing hers, Soap chuckles.

Soap: Weak? Weak, you say? Just because you bound me, you think you have the advantage, woman? I could blast you out of existence, in this moment I could ravage you and take you as my personal slave.

She gets close whispering in his ear, teasing him her body close to his he feels her figure. Soap feels her tug at his collar.

Josey: yet who is the one collard Soap.

Soap: don't try and seduce me mortal..I am much beyond the need for such...distractions.

Josey: hmm yet I see you blushing Soap...curious I didnt know demons could blush...anyway that collar on your neck is infused with my blood ....virgin blood so if u planned on seducing me that enchanted collar is staying on your neck.

For the first time, she see's Soap look...nervous. And this, of course, amuses her His face flushes, and he looks away. Josey laughs she liked humbling this demon He growls, in an attempt to play off the situation.

Josey: Don't worry ill give u something better you like eating souls correct taste better than candy? .....if u partner up with me u can eat all the souls you want the more corrupted the better they taste correct?

He takes off his mask and smiles widely, teeth sharp.

Soap: Now you're speaking my language, woman. I get to eat souls with your help?

Josey: yes and hell at this end of this journey u can even have mine......a promise....Do we have a deal?

She extends her hand, Soap hesitates for a moment, before taking her hand and shaking it. Soap pulls her close their lips almost touching he makes one last threat.

Soap: you have a deal woman, but just remember the moment you fuck up I will make your mind and your body mine.

He kisses her, his lips soft, his tongue pushes against hers, and he pulls away again, his grin ever present. Josey blushed never been kissed like that but she composed herself but on the inside just a kiss from him made her cunt wet.

Josey: I'll take your word for it demon now get some rest we have a long road ahead of us....rest well....Soap.

The demon glares at you, still angry that you forced him into this.

Soap: Very well. I will go rest, but it's not because you told me to, witch.

She enters the bathroom closing the door she leans on the door breathing heavily she gets undressed her panties drenched. She enters the shower fingering herself thinking about Soap fucking her covering her mouth so her moans don't reach his ears and hoping the noise from the water covers it.

Josey: fuck....fucking demon I gotta be more careful.....he touches me like that again I'm done for, I gotta keep my head straight.

Meanwhile Soap lays on the couch tugging on his collar still pissed that hes in this situation and that if he was in hell other demons would laugh at him being bonded to a human woman.

Soap: I hate this. I hate this human If I could escape, I would. If I could kill her, ohhh I would make her sorry one way or another.

He continues muttering angry comments about you, but eventually falls asleep despite it. Josey steps out of the shower a towel wrapped around her body she sees Soap sleeping on the couch approaching him she lowers her face towards his wanting to touch his lips again before backing away and putting one a tshirt and shorts and going to bed.

(idk i might do more lemme know what yall think.)

[skellabelle]

i made a spider-sona! I haven’t named her yet, so if you have an idea lemme know! the suit is a little simple but i really love how it turned out, especially with the white underlining.

she was a biochemist working on synthesizing spider dna (ie. spider silk goats), and suffered blinding chemical burns to her eyes when a beaker full of experimental spider dna solution combusted. she mutated, gaining all the classic spiderman gifts: super strength, spider sense, a juicy ass, rapid healing, but she also gained giant fuckin spider eyes (wattpad girls wish they had orbs like these) and precognitive abilities far beyond basic spider sense.

Fun facts about her

•each set of eyes can move independantly from the others

•she can and will read multiple books at once

•only the top 3 sets of eyes work, the bottom pair are believed to be the source of her precognitave ablilities and spider sense

• she can also see a form of comic book narration (think Deadpools boxes) that tell the future. not quite fourth wall breaking, but close

•she has three goats, all genetically modified to produce spider silk. she uses it to make her own webbing

•spiders dont have eyelids, so she doesn’t actually blink

•after being bit she aquired a severe peppermint allergy.

[cerebrobullet]

Sharpe's Fury Semi-Daily Book Report:

i'm gonna bite brigadier moon and not in the joking way. he needs a good biting.

*me listening to moon getting his broken leg set* i should break one of sharpe's bones in The Long Dark. as a treat, just for me.

LMAO Harper pointing out that he and Sharpe can never find a boat to cross rivers. is it lamp shading by cornwell? maybe! if it is well done lmao. i, who write about sharpe sleeping or collapsing in the majority of my fic chapters, cannot judge reusing plot elements. I also like how Harper tends to be the genre/plot aware one. he's not the MC so he doesn't get caught out on things like Sharpe does, but him being *aware* of that makes it more fun and believable.

*me, sitting here frustrated that moon is holding everything up and being an ass* maybe now it's time for one of those "manslaughter it is" moments......

this old lady calling sharpe an "insolent puppy" 👀

hhhhhgggg i think ... one thing i do actually dislike about cornwell's writing is his PoV switches. like, if he switched to Harper for a bit or such it would be fine, but his secondary and even tertiary povs are always temporary characters and... i understand why, plot wise, but it doesn't stop me from being drastically less interested in these other povs. i really just only want to hear about sharpe and the men OR someone else thinking/talking about sharpe and the men.

ANYWAY we're back to sharpe being knocked out and dramatically injured by a headshot!! hell yeah! harper os gonna enact the manslaughter plan on moon if the brigadier isn't careful about how he treats sharpe!!!

the fucking head swivel i did when willy revealed the ambassador is wellesley's little brother tho. hhfh the DRAMA and he already likes and knows of Sharpe, i imagine because wellesley has done some of his secret gushing about sharpe!! oh, the fic ideas are suddenly endless and i have the ~stupidest~ grin rn

AND PUMPHREY IS BACK. HELL YEAH gimmie that problematic lil gay gremlin.

i needed... to pause the book when he blew sharpe a kiss this is going to make me go absolutely feral, cornwell is literally killing me this very moment. my work is *suffering* today

I. AM. VIBRATING. henry is the fuckin GOAT. using the tale of sharpe saving wellesley to point out how much wellesley respects sharpe and then he just laser eyes over at moon. incredible. literally losing my mind.

oh sharpe and henry wellesley absolutely fuck

also, love how willy was all "never mention the lady situation to henry" and then instantly meets sharpe and goes "hey cool, great to meet you, my brother adores you and i'm going to tell you about my horrible lady situation and get your help with it"

sharpe really does pet every cat he meets huh

aaand my work day is done, what a comment to end on

[dirt-grub]

because i am the dumbest bitch alive and cant just make a normal easy project for class I’m literally ripping the font from the Dan Vs. end credits and cleaning it up for my own personal use and like once i get it in working vector format (which lets hope i fuckin can) like. does anyone else want access to that shit KJADSLDASHUKH

[kcrossvine-art]

Hewwo! baps your face off! TODAY from the big book of Redwall cookin’, we have my fuckin favorite recipe thus far; Rosey's Jolly Raspberry Jelly Rock Cakes- The one that I've actually had ready to go for a few weeks now but I kept eating it too fast to take notes. Buckle into your buggies, hotshots.

(You can find the original recipe at the bottom if you’d like to follow along, and i plead you do)-

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to a Jolly Raspberry Jelly Rock Cake?” YOU MIGHT ASK

All-purpose flour

Baking powder

Salt

Unsalted butter

Sugar

Eggs

Raspberry jam or jelly

Went to read this recipe and upon realizing i had every ingredient- from start to finish it took about an hour and half from deciding to make it to being able to eat it! 

AND, “what does Jolly Raspberry Jelly Rock Cake taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK

Excellence. Pure comfort. Food that heals bones and hearts. Food that laces up scars. Food you make for your lover in bed on a cold rainy day.

Not quite fluffy, but very soft, smooth center

Crumbly, again soft, outer

Tart raspberry jam is the crown jewel of the piece. Mwah. God.

Rich and refreshing

The sprinkled sugar comes out not overbearingly sweet

Do try to eat/serve these warm, they keep well, but the jam will start to absorb into the pastry

Most jam or fruit filling works here, as long as it has some tartness, the world is your oyster. Grab your oyster fork. Feel weird about having an oyster fork. 

Like a molten lava cakes baby cousin-

. Used fine granulated sugar 

. Used salted butter (and only a pinch of salt instead of tsp.)

. Used raspberry jam

. Served with goat cheese caramel lightly drizzled

. Bumping the cook time up from 15 to 17 minutes let the edges brown a bit more which I recommend I think in the future I would like to also try pairing this with slices of strawberry, or perhaps fresh raspberries placed on top? Its hard to spitball pairing ideas because Most Things would pair fair!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gentlethems of the Jury, we here at crossy wossys kitschy kitchy, welcome our very first 10/10

I so dearly need to communicate that I've had this art made for a good week now, I first baked this almost 2 weeks ago, and am just now getting around to writing the actual review. I like to have the food in my mouth to write about the flavor/mouthfeels section.  And I kept eating them too fast to take notes. I've used almost a whole bag of sugar making these on repeat and my teeth surely hate me but the heavens sneer enviously.

These fellas don't seem rather persnickety- I think one would have to actively try to mess up the recipe in a way where its no longer delicious. These are essentially scones with more variety in textures and flavors! The aforementioned latest batch was made at 4am halfmindedly with multiple perceived mistakes, and the only difference from the first carefully attended-to batch was that they were slightly less pretty to look at, both being absolutely mouthwatering. 

The low fussy-ness, low spoons (for me!), and delicious outcome that can pair with many drinks, makes this a flawless pastry in my eyes. a proud 10/10, with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

1 and 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, plus additional for rolling the dough

1 and 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

1/2 teaspoon salt

6 tablespoons unsalted butter or margarine, chilled and cubed, plus additional for the baking sheet

1/2 cup sugar, plus additional for sprinkling

2 eggs, lightly beaten

Raspberry jam or jelly

Method:

Preheat the oven to 400° F and grease a baking sheet.

In a mixing bowl, whisk together the flour, baking powder and salt. Add the butter and rub it into the flour with your fingers (alternately, pulse the dry ingredients and butter in a food processor) until the mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Stir in the sugar. Make a well in the centre, add the eggs and mix well to form a stiff dough.

Turn the dough out onto a floured board and form it into a roll. Cut the dough into ten pieces, shape them into balls and place them well apart on the baking sheet.

Use your thumb to make a hole in the centre of each and fill the hole with jam or jelly.

Pinch the dough closed over the jam, sprinkle the rock cakes with a little sugar and bake them until golden brown, about 1 5 minutes.

Cool the cakes on a wire rack and eat them while fresh, preferably on the same day.

[chanceofwhat]

Ok so maybe I invented a gravity falls au.

Long story short, my brain said “Dipple and Maber” instead of the niblings and, while I’m not going to name them that because that’s stupid, I started wondering what would happen if I shuffled things around. Also, I don’t know what to do with Fiddleford so if anyone has ideas, let me hear them please.

This is swap!gravity falls. Including my art, which is mid (except dipper that’s a good dipper)

TLDR main swaps are Dipper/Mabel, Ford/Stan, and Wendy/Soos

M’sorry if the formatting is weird I did this in my notes app~

Dipper = sweater vests, braces, fashion, confidence, unicorns

Mabel = collared jacket, hat, nerves, brains, science

Soos = lesbian badass with a motorcycle and lots of knives. She’s just here cause it’s a decent job, and she only steps in when needed, but she is very protective of the kids.

Wendell = Dedicated & loyal teen who always does his best but he’s a little stupid. Also he has daddy issues. Crush-crazy bi dipper falls in love with Wendell. Wendell’s teen group is the outcasts, but in a very nerdy losery way. This includes Robin the band geek, Timmy the programmer, Kate and Bee the chess players, and Tabitha who could probably be cool and popular if she wanted.

Candy & Grenda = swapped, so little skinny candy does martial arts and big loud Grenda is a gaming streamer with glasses.

Ford got kicked out of home for being a freak, Stan dropped out of college, Ford fought his way through college with loans and scholarships and has a couple PHDs. Ford came to Stan’s tourist trap 30 years ago (which Bill helped build) to talk to him, Stan let him set up a lab in the basement, went down there after being manipulated by Bill and freaked at how big it was, fight, Stan turned on the portal and ended up falling in, now Ford has to run the shack and try to stabilize the portal so it can open a double-sided gateway for Stan to come back, also he convinced everyone that wym ‘Stanley’ it was always ‘Stanford’ and actually now he’d rather go by his full name or just ‘Ford’ thanks.

Ford = Grunkle 1, loves them kids, enthusiastic, uses mystery shack for money, curious, bullheaded, feels super fuckin bad about what happened, tries not to cuss in front of the kids but isn’t a very aware guy

Stan = Grunkle 2, immediately falls in love with the kids, very creative, fighter, a bit scared of being emasculated tbh, nemesis with Bill, total sailor’s mouth

Bill = what if Bill’s the same except he’s a fucking square? You fucking square.

Waddles is a cute lil round goat that Dipper fell in love with and stole, and there’s also a big silly pig named Gompers around

The kids have a lot more fun toys from the start because Grunkle Ford isn’t gonna tell them about the portal, but if his kids want magnet guns, they’re gonna get magnet guns.

Stanley wrote the journals, they’re just accounts of the weird shit he’s run into over time in Gravity Falls. Ford is using #3 to try to derive scientific information about the anomalous nature of the place, but Stan is so Not A Scientist ™ that it’s hard. Mabel finds journal #1 and it’s full of hastily drawn pictures and warnings like, instead of a scientific name and approximate diagrams, it’s “what the fuck is this??” and “fuckin huge!” And Mabel is adding more scientific/helpful labels, Like the gnomes (all girls) are in there as “annoying little shits” “punt them” “if there’s too many to punt, hide.” To which Mabel adds “LEAF BLOWER - VERY EFFECTIVE” and “CAN STACK TO BECOME LARGE CREATURE”

Ford is too chaotic for a journal so he just has stacks of binders full of BS. And again, he doesn’t tell the kids about the lab downstairs or the portal or anything, but he’s 100% willing to give them stuff, and he’s become a chronic liar over time in order to run the mystery shack, signing legal papers and taxes as Stanley but having people call him Stanford.

Anyways, the portal incident happens as normal, and when Stan comes out of the portal he absolutely punches his brother, but the response is “Okay, I might deserve that, but so do you” “Fair enough.” And a reciprocal punch. “So does anyone else know about your secret lab situation?” “Oh, just… the entire US government?” “WHAT?!” And suddenly Stan is the doer and Ford takes a backseat like they did as kids, when Stan would make all the friends for them and beat up the bullies and Ford would do his homework.

The “Billpocalypse,” as Stan so aptly named it, occurs when Mabel starts getting a lot of attention from both Grunkles for being smart and creative and Dipper gets upset and runs off, then gets tricked on promise of being “smarter.” Stan, as always, stands up to Bill and has problems for it, and when the bubble around the town gets discovered, claims that he knows what’s causing it and how to destroy it, not wanting real-scientist Ford to get captured or anything. Dipland is full of candy and unicorns and everyone is equally smart, and Mabel breaks him out by explaining that her intelligence would be useless without his creativity, confidence, and enthusiasm, and the world needs him to save it. The Bill solution is the same, Stan has a metal plate implanted in his head and can’t let Bill in cause he’d discover that Stan was lying, so they swap and Ford gets his mind erased… for like a week, then he’s fine. Show ends with the grunkles going on the road trip of their dreams together in an RV they tricked out.

Thoughts? Feelings? Opinions? Fiddleford ideas? And ofc I welcome anyone else to draw/write for this, I’d love to see more.