#go make a loaf of bread rn

[imnotpayingforurtherapy]

anyone else thinks we should ban slime and bring back bread time

like slime is just a ton of plastic and chemicals that's great for about a week at most before it gets hard and doesn't work

Bread dough??!?!

Fun and easy

same feeling as slime

feeds you for a week instead of sitting on your shelf in a sad plastic container

[milkweedman]

Trying to make some bread this morning while incredibly sick (bad cold). I have already succeeded in smearing honey on 8 different surfaces, due to Confusion. Feeling some solidarity with small children today, who ive heard also are incredibly good at that

[keeps-ache]

ggghhg i hate vehiclessssssss ghghghhghhhhh [dies dies dies forever]

[tariah23]

Fucked up in the crib starving for days because my sister made me come over to her place to cat sit but didn’t leave any food in the apartment for me to eat-

[unsettlingcreature]

nothing lights a fire under your ass more than being unable to afford groceries

[transrevolutions]

french revolution dashboard simulator

🐀 ami-du-peuple Follow

uh actually man has the right to deal with his oppressors by devouring their beating hearts. hope this helps.

🎩 departicle Follow

Hold up. Okay. Actually, fuck this. This sort of violent rhetoric should not be tolerated on here. Do you seriously think this sort of thing is going to make the nobility give you more rights???? You must be out of your minds! Reported.

🧵 seamstressproud Follow

reblog to devour this guy's beating heart

#username checks out lmao #politics #everybody point and laugh #common adp w

6,178 notes

organt-deactivated06151792

update: new canto out now!!! go check it out 😈😏🥀 (remember don't like don't read <3)

📜 sacredhostreceipts Follow

@centuriesandskies this you?? not such a great look for a convention rep ngl

🌄 centuriesandskies Follow

listen. I wrote this a long time ago, before I went into serious politics. the account is deactivated for a reason.

I was twenty. I did poorly. I can do better.

#sj.txt #if this is the worst dirt you can dig up on me #i'm way less corrupt than half the people in the convention these days #at least i'm not doing fucking. embezzlement. #also sacredhostreceipts if you're who i think you are #don't you have better things to do rn?

231 notes

🌎 landscape-showdown Follow

🌎 landscape-showdown Follow

why the fuck is everyone tagging this with french??? political figures?

#what the hell is going on over there #also maybe cool it with the death threats #I don't want this blog to get taken down #what's a girondin #is this some joke I'm not french enough to understand #showdown update

5,012 notes

⛪ progressivepriest Follow

Unpopular opinion but why is everyone so up in arms about the new Civil Oath? Literally all it's asking is for you to promise not to commit treason just because the Pope tells you to? I can see where people are coming from with the whole violation-of-religion deal, but can you blame the Assembly for trying to make sure the people aren't forcibly subjugated by the wealth of the nobility?

faith-first-alwaysdeactivated03011791

Sounds like something a heretic would say. To betray the Pope and king is to betray the will of God and your eternal soul! You should pray for forgiveness and pledge loyalty to the monarchy or have fun burning in hell. Sorry not sorry.

⛪ progressivepriest Follow

L + ratio + iirc the Bible says "it is easier for a rope to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven" (Matthew 19:24)

🎻 lacarmagn01e Follow

occasional based catholic moment, go off OP!

🌊 sea-of-revolution Follow

looked the faith-first-always guy's blog, he's like a massive anti-huguenot too 🙄 why is it always the prot-exclusive radical catholics smh

🌊 sea-of-revolution Follow

LMAOOOOO HE DEACTIVATED

#religion tag #percs fuck off #anyways op makes a valid point #reblog #percs dni

3,719 notes

🛌 virtuous-bedtime Follow

she committee on my safety til I can't go public

🍊 springtimeofgovernment Follow

I don't understand the joke, can someone explain please?? 🙂 Thank you!

🧵 seamstressproud Follow

is that fucking MAXIMILIEN ROBESPIERRE?!!?!?!?

🛌 virtuous-bedtime Follow

oh my god citizen robespierre I'm so sorry this was not meant to break containment lol I didn't even know you were on this site please forget you saw this

#this is the most embarassing moment of my life #literally sobbing rn #the original post is /j i prommy #i cannot be known as the citizen who had to explain this to the government

19,853 notes

🪓 indulgentsfuckoff Follow

fabre d'eglantine is NOT your poor little meow meow citizens he literally falsified decrees from the national convention and embezzled money to line his own pockets. I don't care how uwu babygirl you think he is he is a CRIMINAL who should be ARRESTED

💛 i-give-people-bread Follow

🥖🍞🥐

#baguette #loaf #croissant #i-give-people-bread #indulgentsfuckoff #silly

2,011 notes

🧱 comic-sans-culotte Follow

fucking fed up with the constant threat of the swiss guard, I think it's time we got some gunpowder and weapons and took things into our own hands yknow what I'm saying

🧱 comic-sans-culotte Follow

I'm no longer joking about this btw

🧱 comic-sans-culotte Follow

update:

hopital

🧱 comic-sans-culotte Follow

ok bc I've gotten like 50 asks about this: I am not injured and I am not in need of medical care. the punchline was that we stormed the fucking hotel des invalides to get guns and powder. didn't want to clarify the joke before now for security reasons but everyone knows about that and the bastille thing by now. please direct your money to people who actually need it.

#shouldve clarified the last post was /j #however I assumed yall knew this joke already #anyways #revolution #personal #500 #1k

1,930 notes

🌾 nopain-nograin Follow

got so high at the festivial 2day i thnk i saw hte suapreme being

#robespiere speech was prboably 🔥 #unforntuately i camt rember any of it #grainposting #oipum ehre is somtehing else thes days #memes

8,256 notes

🎨 jldavid-real-moved Follow

incredible speech from @springtimeofgovernment today at the jacobin club. nobody should be permitted to use their positions as civic leaders to commit crimes against the people, even under the guise of revolutionary fervor. if it comes to it, I too will drink the hemlock with him. for france. 🤝🤝

🍊 springtimeofgovernment Follow

Thanks for your support, @jldavid-real

The situation over here is deteriorating really quickly, the representatives are getting violent and abandoning due process entirely. Anything you can do to stand with us now would be very appreciated. You do a lot of great work for the revolution, and I trust you completely.

🍊 springtimeofgovernment Follow

@jldavid-real are you still there? We could really use your help right now.

🌄 centuriesandskies Follow

boosting @springtimeofgovernment here, can confirm he's been injured in a skirmish at the hotel de ville, they're passing summary death sentences without trial, @jldavid-real where is the help you promised us??? the people of paris are our only hope now.

edit: of course he moved blogs. coward.

#sj.txt #disappointed yet unsurprised #marat would be ashamed of you #9 thermidor #update

15,794 notes

🎻 lacarmagn01e Follow

DNI if you support any of these groups/people or their actions: m0narchists, f3uillants, br1ssotins/g1rondins, th3rmidorians, b0napart1sts, h3nri du v3rgier (also goes by c0mte de r0chjacquelin), charl0tte c0rday, or lafay3tte

(h3bertists and dant0nists you're on thin ice. behave.)

#censored so they dont show up in the tags #dni #get your nasty ass ideologies off my page #won't hesitate to block and/or report any violators #pinned

52 notes

gracchus-babeufdeactivated05271797

reblog to make the directoire choke to death on their stupid fucking outfits

🌊 sea-of-revolution Follow

hey staff. yeah you. where did this blog go?? notfishgoujon and prairial-95 are gone as well?? cowards too afraid to show your faces lmao especially after the fucking mess the directoire's made of the country. bet you anything that staff are on their fucking payroll too iykwim at least the republic didn't tolerate fucking bribery

#this site's gone to the dogs since thermidor yr 2 #following the trend of the rest of the country tbh #i'll probably get nuked for posting this #if so i'm not making a new account #i'll just make a paleocities or smth #politics tag #reblog #don't play with me ik full well gb didn't delete his blog of his own free will #they also zero note glitched it #just when you think they can't stoop lower

0 notes

📕 spectrehauntingeurope Follow

it's been 50 fucking years since gracchus-babeuf (and the other CoE blogs) were deleted without warning and still no response from staff, the govt, or anything. the site's gone through a fuckton of ownership changes and still nothing.

we're working on a bit of a project (some of you might know abt it already), it's gonna be out prob in the next year or so. remember '89. remember '93 and '94. remember '97.

the people will rise again. it's only a matter of time. 🚩

-mod karl

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

I'm in my feels rn and I need you to do an EverythingIsFine AU with Shisui where he's got like a baker gf or florist gf or something, I'm literally begging you for Shisui fluff🙏

i'm sorry y'all i'm going through my requests with a gun to my head rn i promise - thank you for this one, it was quite nice to write

Closing Time

Pairing: Shisui x GN!Reader

Summary: Our dear reader makes a mess in the back of their family's bakery right before they're done closing, and their favourite customer comes to their rescue.

W/c: 1.4K

Warnings: Couple swear words, I got hungry in the middle and started to crave a profiterole

Notes: btw Shisui is with the police force in this EIF!AU, lmk if this sucks

Masterlist💿

Crouching low, you flopped the fifty pound sack of flour over your shoulder. Your knees creaked and cracked as you stood up, steadying your footing before you started moving to the storage room. It was closing time, and you hadn't needed to bake any extra bread, so you had to take the extra flour back.

Easy task, on paper - one of the most grueling acts, when the time came.

Still, your strong, stubborn ass insisted upon working alone. Hell, you sometimes put fifteen hour days into the bakery, from the first loaf of bread in the morning, to this bullshit task.

The bell at the door rang with a clipped ding-a-ling, and you threw the bag of flour you were hauling onto a table carelessly.

So carelessly that it burst.

"Fuck!" You yelled as a massive, white cloud puffed up immediately.

The flour got in your mouth, it went up your nose, it was in your eyes. Cripes, you could feel it in your fucking hair.

"Oh, dear! Are you okay?" A familiar voice asked as you hacked up smaller white clouds.

Your favourite regular came beside you, concern so obviously etched into his features that you could see it through the blur. Wetting your mouth, and trying to push down the lumps in your throat, you croaked, "You can't be back here."

"Who cares? Your old man's not here, and you could have gotten hurt," Shisui quickly said, looking you over with an intense scrutiny as you rubbed your eyes. He looked around, at the white, fluffy mess that surrounded you, and grumbled, "Why were you even lifting more than twenty kilos? If it was that important, you could have asked me-"

"It's my job, not yours, officer," you quipped, still feeling the burn up your nose. "Besides, I didn't even mean to do that-"

"Well, I suppose not," he grinned. 

You rolled your eyes and started to brush the flour on your shoulders onto the flour, shaking out your hair in the process. With an anguished gaze, you looked at the bag of flour, with a now gaping hole.

"What can I do to help?" Shisui asked, making you look at him. He smiled warmly, "You're so close to closing, and this will take you forever to clean up alone."

You sighed, "Alright, fine... you can sweep."

"Ooh, lucky me," he hummed as you retrieved the broom from the corner beside the mixers.

Giving Shisui the broom, you thanked him with a small voice, and his smile only deepened. You got a few containers to empty the good flour into and put them on a different metal table. Shisui was crouched, trying to get the dirt from beneath the table, as you leaned over the bag again to move it to the other table.

Immediately, Shisui shot up and moved you away. "Nuh uh. I've got it."

"You're not getting paid for this, need I remind you," you quipped as he struggled to gather the strangely weighted sack in his arms. 

"Your- eh- smile-" Shisui shuffled over to the other table, groaning a little as he set the burst bag down gently before he beamed, "-is payment enough."

"You're as sweet as the pastries you buy," you hummed softly, moving to stand beside him.

Cheeks tinting red, Shisui's eyes darted away from your face, but couldn't seem to stay away for long. With a nervous chuckle, he dipped his head, gulped, then returned to the broom.

A small smile rested on your lips as you siphoned the remaining forty-nine pounds of flour into the two containers you had gotten out. They had airtight seals, so their freshness wouldn't be an issue - besides, you were set to open tomorrow morning, so no one would even have to deal with the flour already being in a container.

If anything, you were making tomorrow's job a little easier, by making your night a little bit more tedious. 

"I'm sorry by the way," you said with a grunt as you popped the lids onto the containers, leaning on them with all of your weight. "Some- fucking, go on- some Chunin came in about twenty minutes ago and cleaned me out, so all I've got left is bread."

"I like bread," Shisui remarked, dumping a dustpan of flour in the trash. 

"Good, there's a loaf of bread with your name on it then," You giggled, looking away from Shisui as soon as he looked at you. "Do you like my bread more than my eclairs?"

Pulling the two containers to the edge of the table, you lifted one up and slid it on the ledge under the table. Shisui came beside you and took the second container before you could, putting it beside the first with more obvious ease than you had. 

You both stood straight, facing each other. You grinned nervously, heart pattering around your chest madly, as Shisui looked down at you with a gracious smile. His dark eyes sparkled so beautifully, even in the shit bakery lighting.

"No," he mumbled. "I like your eclairs more than anything."

"More than my madeleines?" You tested, narrowing your eyes some.

Shisui laughed, "I choose your eclairs."

"What about a profiterole?" 

Bending his knees, and throwing his head back, Shisui nodded and hissed, "You got me."

He was your favourite customer for a reason.

"Well, alas, you'll just have to come back in tomorrow for a proper sweet," you sighed contently, finally moving again to continue the few closing activities you still had to do. "And come in earlier; you might even get a pastry when it's still warm."

Collecting the dried dishes into your hands, you started to put them away when Shisui joined you in the task. You shook your head and stole the whisk he had picked up.

"Would you like an application?" You asked, putting the whisk into the whisk bin.

"No," he chuckled. "I just want to help you."

"Sweetie, if I could give you anything more than a loaf of white bread in return, I'd be okay with that - but as it stands-"

"I told you," Shisui hummed, picking up three wooden spoons in the same handful. "Your smile is payment enough."

"If I didn't know how much you liked my pastries, I'd accuse you of coming in here so often just to flirt with me," you chortled, putting up a stack of containers. 

Drawing a breath, Shisui said, "Well... as much as I like your sweet treats..."

"Oh, shush, you philanderer," you scoffed playfully, flipping the dish rack upside down. Without looking at Shisui, you drew to the very back and started to turn off the lights. First the storage room. "Besides-" Then the fridge. "-I know damn-well you'd pick even a madeleine over me."

"M'kay, first of all, definitely not a madeleine, and not even one of your profiteroles," Shisui started. "Secondly, I am not a philanderer - whoever told you that lied-"

"Nobody told me anything of the sort," you told him with a quirked brow. You shrugged at the confused expression Shisui wore, "I just kinda assumed-"

"Why?"

"I mean, c'mon," you chuckled. Shisui only furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head as you approached him. You opened your mouth, but closed it, trying to pick your words more carefully now. After a second, you mumbled, "Well, you're so charming... and people don't often, y'know, just flirt with me at work... not unless they want me to come home with them, and you're always coming in so late in the evening..."

"People ask you to go home with them?" He asked, surprised and aghast.

Maybe you should have taken a slight offense to his tone, because why wouldn't someone want to take you home? But, at the same time, he didn't seem surprised at that thought - he seemed surprised that people had that kind of audacity.

"Not much, but it happens," you stated, trying to be neutral. "Why? Not your intention?"

Shisui shook his head quickly and stuttered, "No, not at all- well- no, no."

Alright, that one got you. He didn't want to take you home at all? Shit, he really was just a good customer-

"So, what is your intention in coming in almost every day, in helping me even when I'm a bitch about it?" You asked, crossing your arms tentatively.

"You're never a bitch about anything," Shisui assured you.

You shook your head, staying firm. "Answer the question; what do you expect-"

"Look, I don't expect anything," he sighed. Suddenly, Shisui took your hands in his. His skin was as soft as a pearl, though the pads of his fingers were rough. "And it's not that I don't want to take you home-" You looked up from where your hands were joined, into his eyes that danced with nervousness. "-I just... I wanna take you on a date first."

"Okay," you agreed instantly.

Shisui's smile broke across his face. "Really?"

"Yeah," you grinned, squeezing his hands. "Help me close up first, though."

"Okay, so long as there's a loaf of bread and a warm smile at the end of the rainbow."

[antiwhores]

My dock - human!Bakugou x Mermaid!Reader

Part 1?

Part 2

Part 3

Y/n, a curious mermaid with a knack for trouble meets a human named Bakugou Katsuki. Bakugou, a curious human also with a knack for trouble meets a mermaid named y/n. Interspecies relationships- and even friendships are not allowed in the Mer-creature kingdom. And if people found out Mermaids are real then Y/n would be fish food. Love is hard as fuck.

Quirkless au cause im not tryna deal with him rn, eventual smut, near death experience, suggestive themes, violence, multiple parts.

Sorry ive been gone, im depressed and dont find joy in anything anymore LOL

You first met the blonde human when you were swimming near the shore. You obviously went supposed to be doing that but you were curious. You wanted to see humans even though the danger they hold could kill you.

He was walking on a bridge- well, more like stomping. He looked absolutely pissed, red face with steam practically radiating off of him. He was mumbling things under his breath that you couldn’t make out.

You left after a while of watching him, the sun was setting and you had to go home and catch fish.

The next time you saw him he was lounging by a doc in your special spot. Your beach was in the woods, secluded off unless you knew where you were going. There was a round, yet deep swimming area that sparkled a beautiful light blue. There was also a waterfall that was pretty high up. It was a magical place that you were glad to claim.

You watched from behind a big rock as he fed the ducks. He had a whole loaf of bread that he would break off into small pieces to aggressively throw at the ducks.

You called a duck over with a water wave made by your tail. Most mer-creature could talk to a selective few of animal.

“Who is he?” You whispered. The duck cackled, “Just some human boy. He comes here to feed us every day.” You asked for his name but the duck just flapped his wings. “I think his name was Katsu? I dont know, I’ll try to listen in.”

You thanked the duck and let him go fight for his snack.

Katsu? You thought that name rolled nicely off the tongue.

You continued to watch him from secluded areas for the next 3 weeks. You almost got caught a few times. He would hear you speak a little too loud or make too big of a splash and he would yell “WHOS THERE?” It started you enough each time to not come look for a whole day.

One day when you went up to look for him he wasn’t alone. He was at beach side of it this time with a couple other humans. One with red hair, one with green hair, pink hair, and brown hair. You picked up on their names after a while. Kirishima, Midoriya/Deku (?), Mina, and Uraraka. Later on some more named Kaminari and Iida showed up.

You watched them play around and practically beat each other up. Humans are so weird.

Apparently, Katsu lost a bet. Well, you learned his name was also Bakugou, Katsuki, and Kacchan. You’ll stick to Katsu since theres so many.

Kirishima dared Bakugou to jump off of the water fountain. You almost yelped out a protest once Bakugou agreed. It wasn’t safe! There were weeds at the bottom which would grab you and never let go! You had been working on getting rid of them all but there were still a few left.

And just as you thought, once he jumped he was stuck. You watched as he struggled under the grip of the weeds. You couldn’t just let him die! Before you knew it you were swimming over there full speed.

He looked at you threw wide eyes, you could tell he was loosing his breath. He tried to say something but only bubbles came out. You grabbed his face ad signaled for him to open his mouth. He did almost immediately, he must’ve been getting desperate.

You shoved your mouth against his, blowing air into his mouth which he greedily sucked up. You weren’t supposed to do that and you knew you’d be questioned and scolded for even letting a human know you existed. It was called the eternal breath. It allowed him to breath and talk under water with out it being drowned out for up to five minutes depending on how much you blew.

You signaled for him to breath and he gave you a crazy look. His cheeks were flustered and he didn’t know what to do. You hoped that wasn’t his first kiss or something, even though it was yours. You leaned into his ear and whispered, “Trust me Katsu.”

A wave of relief hit you once he did it. He looked at you in bewilderment, “What the fuck?! What the FUCK?!” You flinched but still made you way down to his feet. “You have a fucking tail?! What the fuck is going on?!” You shook your head, “No I don’t.” “What the FUCK!?”

You cut him free with your nails and signaled for him to go. He shook his head, “No! What kind of shit is this?! You have a tail!” You groaned, started to blush at the way he looked at you. He was even more handsome up close like this. “Either you leave or your gonna die in 1 minute once my breath wears out.”

You heard him yell after you once you began to swim away. You hid behind the entrance just to make sure he got up okay. You were on the verge of tears, you could get in so much trouble. What if he’s a bad guy and he’s gonna call his human hunters on you?

You practically gasped when he decided not to tell anyone of you. His friends crowded him, some in tears asking if he was okay. He just swatted them away and told them to fuck off. On that note you left.

You didn’t come back for 2 weeks. You were scared of coming back to traps and spears. The ducks reported to you instead. He has been coming every single day and staying for not just his usual 10 minutes but 3 hours. He sits there studying the water and calling out to any sudden movement from nature.

You couldn’t help your curiosity after that and the next day you showed up to watch him. You watched as he ate from his basket of what you think is called… Fruits? He lounged on the dock with no shirt on. His skin was tanned and golden.

You practically jumped once he called out to you. “Hey!” You dove back behind the rock. He rose to his feet, “No, no, no! Come back!” You slowly peaked behind the rock. He smirked, whispering “I knew you were real” before holding out a red fruit. “I got this for you.”

You came out behind the rock more to study the apple. You hissed at him thinking it was poisonous. He gave you an offended look, “What’re you scared of a fucking apple? Look.” He took a huge bite out of the thing and chewed. You watched closely as he swallowed it. “See?”

You sighed and finally just swam over to him. He sat down right off the edge and held the apple out to you. You quickly grabbed it and swam as fast as you could behind the rock.

You took a suspicious bite, it was… delicious! He chuckled as your face lit up. You took another bite, giving him a quizzical look. “Come here, ill give you another one.” You hesitantly swan over to him. But just as you were about to grab the apple he yanked it above his head. “Tell me your name.”

You glared at him, crossing your arms around your chest. “You can have all my fruits if you tell me your name.” You thought about it for a second. You could be hunted down for this. And you could be in deep shit if the council found out. But for some reason, you trusted this man.

A loud huff came out of your mouth, “y/n.”

[dia-smthidk]

Hi día! I wanted to sharé some angst ideas for Carnival!Sethe (the coin man, Im not sure if Thats his name).

He hided himself from The AIs by tricking them into thinking he was a robot, an AI, rigth? And he is a capitalistic merchant who could could sell you a loaf of bread for the low price of your soul, rigth? And he is also VERY charismatic, rigth?

So, while listening to the song Jackpot, from Kuraiinu, I thougt that Maybe, to fully convine the other AIs that he was an AI, he had to FIGTH and KILL other humans, even if he didnt wanted to, to gain HIS freedom. (Like the part of the song that says: Its not because its for the riches, its for [[FREEDOM]] you see?, with the riches being The AIs and the hole sentence as an apology to another player)

So I thinked that the first part of the song was him fully acting the AI facade trying to sell stuff (with this charismatic, capitalistic and most of all, really dramátic persona he create to convince the AI) and the second part of the song is him trying to make his "boss figth" with Caine, intenting to make a deal to with him to make him leave.

I ddont know if Thats rigth, but i Just felt like the coin man didnt have enough angst, so I wanted to give him a litle

THIS THOUGH??

EATING👏THIS👏UP👏

cuz not only does he have to witness & assist Ragatha whenever she kills a human, but when he has to kill one HIMSELF, it’s already bad enough. But when it’s gotta be his own BROTHER, and the fact he won’t even REMEMBER that’s his brother but Caine’ll remember, is just so GRRRRR YESYESYES

and there’ll just be that teeny tiny part of him that’ll feel a lotta guilt if he has to kill Caine, cuz even though he won’t remember his own brother, he’ll just FEEL that what he’s gonna do is MANY WAYS WRONG, and MORE wrong than usual

going so FERAL over this rn & I WILL be thinkin to draw for this

[bonniebird]

Billy x Fem!Reader

Requested by Anon

December event

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While your other two roommates had left for the holiday, Billy was staying at the shared house. You had tried to get to the airport but found that your plane was cancelled due to bad weather.

You’d complained for hours until you opened the curtains one morning and found ankle-deep snow and that it was still snowing so hard you couldn’t see to the end of the drive. Billy had made a deal with you, he’d make a stop at the grocery store on his way home from his shift and you’d shovel the driveway so he could get his car in the garage. You’d agreed and had bundled up and headed outside half an hour after he left.

You’d cleared the driveway. Then the snow got heavier so you cleared it again. By the third time the snow got ankle-deep, you gave up. Billy pulled up at the end of the drive with the food shopping and stared at the drive. He could see that you’d tried to clear the drive and headed in with a few bags. As he shook the snow off his feet he spotted you sitting in the kitchen. You were still bundled up and you looked as if you hadn’t long headed inside. He could hear you snuffling before he stomped into the kitchen.

"Please help me shovel the driveway. I did some of it but I’m cold and tired." You said as soon as you spotted Billy. He chuckled and nodded, spotting the wide spade in the corner of the kitchen that was surrounded by a pile of melting snow. “Every time I go out and clear it, it snows again.” 

“You’ve cleared enough that I should get my car into the garage. I don’t know about going out again though.” Billy said as he took the shovel. He cleared a little around the curb and then had to stand and wave your arms to help him back into the garage. He hopped out and dug a pathway from the front door to the letter box. The two of you hurried inside and unpacked the rest of the shopping through the kitchen side door that led out to the garage.

Just as it starts getting dark, and you finished heating up some warm soup and a fancy loaf of bread that Billy got cheap because it was going to get thrown out at closing, the power cut out. There was a crackling noise and a bang. Heading out to the living room you found Billy peeking through the curtains.

“What happened? Why’s the power out?” You asked and joined Billy who let you stand in front of him and peek out with him.

“You know that tree Hopper told the neighbour across the road to cut down? Well, it just fell down and took the power lines with it.” Billy said. You saw your neighbours come out one by one and start shouting at the couple who came out of their house.

“So we have no power? We’ll freeze!” You complained. 

“I have a camping stove and we’ve got enough blankets. They won't be able to leave live power lines down for long.” Billy said. The two of you watched for a while and went to fetch some soup and bread while it was warm so you could eat and watch. You jumped and yelped when the tree lost another branch and the next power line landed on the front lawn right where you and Billy had cleared the drive.

“I think we should stay inside.” Billy said calmly as the group outside got bigger and bigger until two police cruisers and a fire truck pulled up outside and sent everyone in.

Billy tags:

@savagemickey03 @zoomdeathknight @pheonix4269 @bloodrose @sarahbullet235 @lovelyy-moonlight @stellasblog @DeanWinchestersgirl87 @thekayarlene @linkpk88 @babypink224221 @lisainhell @spiderwebs-blog @gryffindorqueensworld @rockyrascal @twerp8999 @theletterhart @boardstomymood @big-galaxy-chaos @greekktragedyy @ietss @alexxavicry @daughterofthenight117 @sarcasm-n-insomnia @multi-fandom5 @skylermoyer @justice-for-the-kaldorei @favmeyou @kaylantus @supernatural-wolfie @yougottalovefandoms @alwaysadreamingoptimist @love1deandra @archaeologydigit @im-eating-rn @bucketbunny @littlefreakingfangirl @hardladyheart @gillybear17 @lchufflepuffcorn @prettyplant0 @hardladyheart @slxthxrxn-sxmp @jamie-c-bower-simp @aw--heck @amournoir @boardstomymood @heeheehoohoohahahihi @elenavampire21

[milkweedman]

Things recently. That damn commission scarf is taking up almost all my time recently, but there is finally light at the end of the tunnel (im working on stripe 11 of 17, and promised to have it all done by the 14th... which means a little walkin around money for the fiber festival on the 15th >:) very excited).

Have been experimenting with the dutch oven, bc ive never used one and its very small. Liking the results though.

Also have been frequenting the farmer stall at the nursery down the street and got a few of the last of this years peaches, which resulted in two jars of very nice peach jam and a small jar of peach syrup, which my sister is gonna take for a chicken of the woods and waffles feast her friend is doing next week. Had some of the excess jam on some poppyseed bread toast and it was very good--light and tart and summery. The plan for this winter is lots of bread and jam and welsh cakes and barmbrack and pirozhkiy. Looking forward to it somewhat, altho i have a feeling its going to be a very cold winter this year. Also, not sure if i should plant the leeks right now so we can harvest some baby ones in the winter... my sister is obsessed with the idea of glamorgan sausages and it would be nice to try with leeks from the garden...

[tumblebumblebee-63]

Okay, I want to predict the outcome for Spy x Family chapter 72 rn before it comes out, and I'm writing it here so that, if it happens, I can come back to this and pat myself on the back for being right.

So if anyone's interested, this is what I think will (or at least, should) happen:

The bus comes to a stop with all the police officers surrounding it. Cursing for being caught, the guy tells the kids to all stay put if they want to live, then grabs Anya and Damian and brings them out of the bus.

He tells the officers that he has bombs strapped to their necks (both the son of the wealthy and high profile Desmond family and the girl who just happened to piss him off) and that he won't hesitate to set them off.

The officers lay down their weapons, seeing as they have no other choice. Anya, being the little gremlin she is, yells out that the bombs are fake. Aka, pick up the guns again and save them.

Damian and the guy are equally appalled that Anya would be stupid enough to say that and also how does she even know that??

As the police question whether or not that's true, the man grabs Anya and puts a gun to her head, saying something like "I don't know how you learned the bomb was fake, but this gun is very real." Or something to that extent.

Damian (bless his soul) probably tries to help her, but is ultimately smacked away like the loaf of bread he is.

The police, now again concerned with the turn of events, put their guns down for the second time.

The man smirks and begins to list off what he wants the cops to do if they want the kids to live when something smacks him in the head. (Idk what it would be. A rock, a shoe? Just something.)

He looks up to see a hooded figure standing on top of the bus. "Step away from the girl." He says as he points a very large gun at the man.

"Who the hell are you?" The man responds.

"Someone who doesn't like repeating orders a second time." The gun is cocked. "Now step away from her."

Anya (bless her soul as well) thinks that she should do something to help. After all, that's what Bondman would do. So, like the gremlin she is, she comes up with the most gremlin-like plan she can and bites him. Hard. Just fully chomps down on the man's fingers.

Cursing, he let's go of her in surprise. Damain quickly grabs her hand and yanks her away as the hooded figure jumps on top of him and knocks the gun out of his hand.

The police are understandably confused, but rush to stop the bus driver who attempts to make a run for it when his ally is taken down.

Now that they're apprehended, Anya tries to figure out who the hooded figure is. Was it Papa?

She reads his mind and hears this:

"I may hate Loi-Loi will all my guts and he may never be a deserving husband to someone as great as Yor, but I know she would be devastated if anything happened to her chihuahua girl."

Anya smiles, realizing that the man who came to her rescue was her uncle Yuri. She knows that he is technically her papa's enemy (and possibly her mama's too, even if he doesn't know) but he's still a good guy.

Cue Yuri noticing the look and saying something like,

"What the hell are you smiling for??"

But Anya just says something like

"Thank you mystery man! You saved Syon-boy and I from being dead."

He stiffens a little, surprised at the praise and his relief about her safety.

"You're welcome." He says.

Then we cut to the next scene.

Loid is standing in his doorway, fear and absolute shock in his expression.

"She... What?"

The officers then explain to him (for the second time) what events transpired that day.

He looks down as Yor (in tears) crushes Anya (literally crushes) in a hug, saying how she was so sorry she had to go through that and was so relieved that she was okay.

Loid is furious. Furious at the men who threatened his daughter, but more importantly, furious at the agency for not telling him what was going on. He knew they knew about it.

Unable to even look at Anya, he pushes past the cops and sprints his way all the way down to the agency. He isn't careful to be unseen. He isn't paying attention to any of his lessons and basic techniques of being a spy. His daughter almost died today. That's the only thing that matters to him right now.

He kicks down the door, to which the woman starts her whole "Good day, or rather, good evening" spiel that Loid promptly interrupts.

"You knew." He accuses, "You knew and you didn't tell me."

The woman tells him her reasoning. (He was too far away, there was no point in needlessly worrying him when he couldn't do anything, etc.)

He erupts, yelling at them that he didn't care if he was in the middle of another mission, they should've told him! She's his daughter! He should know if she's ever in danger!

"She's not really your daughter," comes the reply.

A moment of silence.

Silence as he realizes the statement is true and wrong at the same time. Not his biological daughter, sure, but she was still his. She was important.

"What about Operation Strix?" He tries to rationalize (for the sake of his protectiveness toward Anya and to prove that the agency should care about her too)

The agency tells him they have other means of getting close to the Desmonds, whether through Yor's new friendship or through another "backup" plan they had in motion. They imply that Anya is expendable. They say that the mission is more important. They say if it came to saving Anya or keeping the mission intact, they wouldn't hesitate to let her die. For the greater good, of course.

After a moment of Lord's silence, she even goes so far as to say Anya's death could've possibly been proven useful, as the mourning could've gotten Yor closer to Melinda-

A crash.

The woman looks up to see Loid leaving the room, the table by which he'd been standing now snapped in half.

Loid walks back home, contemplating her words. Was Anya really expendable in regards to the mission? Trying to keep his thoughts rational, he plays out how her death would affect it. He sees there are some pros (strictly regarding the goals of the mission) but he shuts those thoughts down immediately.

Why had he been so scared today? If she was truly expendable, why had his heart dropped out of his chest when he'd heard she'd come so close to death?

It didn't make sense, not really.

But when he entered the apartment and saw Yor and Anya still on the floor, still hugging, he realized it did.

Because Anya may be considered expendable for the mission. A pawn in a much larger game of chess.

He falls to the floor and wraps both Yor and Anya in a tight hug, saying nothing.

But she was not expendable to him.

Bonus scene at the end:

Yuri's superior officer knocks at his door. Yuri lets him in.

"Thought you'd like to know, that girl, Anna was it? She's alright. The police handled it."

Yuri, already well aware that Anya is fine and that the police most certainly did not handle it, just nods.

"Thank you for telling me sir."

He just nods.

"However, it seems we have a new problem. You see, witnesses reported seeing a mysterious masked figure helping the police catch the guy. I want you to ID him so we can bring him in for questioning and see if he's an enemy."

The officer is so distracted by his determination to find out about this masked menace, he doesn't notice Yuri is standing very nervously behind him. Sweating bullets.

[ss-shitstorm]

I barely understand chemistry (my hs teacher was a true queen™ and tried her very best, I am just dumb.) but I love reading Breaking Bread so much that when I see an update by mind scream 'BREAD!!!' and conjures a pixilated image of a bread loaf spinning on itself with various confetti explosions in the void, that by association makes me think of Nyan cat whom i love very very much.

Anyways i may have kind of lost my train of thought there, so I'll end it by saying that you're amazing and i wish my adhd ridden mind would let me write countless paragraphs on why but I hope this little thing is enough to get the feelings out <3

if there's one thing I've learned about chemistry(or any heavy topic) is that it don't matter how good ur teacher is you will most likely need to read/listen/watch through 20+ explanations of a thing before you find a version where it actually makes sense to you.That said, I'm absolutely fucking DELIGHTED you still diggin this thing. The rotating Bread Loaf is going to sing me to sleep for the foreseeable future, and you've done a fan-fuckin-tastic job WITH your adhd ridden mind okay??? I am on the fucking MOON rn.

Thank you so much anon <3

[steelycunt]

3 things i wanna know about you :)

how do u usually wear ur hair/what kind of hairstyle do u have rn!

fav type of bread to eat, and fav type of bread to make [im counting this as one thing but ig it could count as 2. sorry]

how do u take ur tea

hi my love!! thank you!!

my hair is just. down right now and that is how i usually wear it!(unless im not leaving the house in which case. a bun is my lifesaver xx) my hair can be so much work honestly and i am. not good at doing it so down is usually safest :-/ i like a half up half down style but it often ends with the having 2 cut a hair band out of my hair with scissors at the end of the day and sometimes it’s just not worth it xx

BREAD!!!! my favourite topic. i like all kinds of bread it is the one thing my fussy-eating self always knew was safe as a child…my favourite for toast is sourdough and i also love tiger bread but generally just anything with a good crust….it’s all good…and to MAKE!! ive only tried one type so far which is just a plain white loaf because im not a great baker i would not trust myself to get too complicated but. if i had the time to commit to it…baking my own sourdough…that’s the dream xx

i take my tea milk no sugar!! classic understated timeless….can’t go wrong innit

[art-i-know-yes]

SPOILERS FOR LIMITED LIFE

also someone drop a compilation of skizz's affirmations

Jimmy's Ep

I didn't watch everyone from last week anyway

5 MINUTES IN

THIS IS MAKING ME NAUSEOUS

me sobbing every five minutes of fear even though i know it's his last

I'm shaking

bdubs is a savior

plz get off the bread bridge it's a single file line

grian's popping off

anytime someone's near the edge I get nauseous

the podcast gets their kills

joel got 2 people

54 minutes

I'm not joking I'm physically sick

...jim...babe...wtf

can't WAIT to see this from Grian's pov

Canary curse continues

dumbest person alive/lh

i hate him/j

awww it's the fact that it ISN'T on purpose not even a bit

AWWW

i love him so

was rooting for him rip

Tango's Ep

"is it a pet"

oh so that was just...there

at the end of this every base is just hung to be flooded

"i think I'm gonna hand back"

seal team ties *falls*

it's panic from everyone

"im...a... perfectly honest person" *side eye*

impulse turns red and was like "im filled with guilt"

scott got the good shots

back to yellow scott

omg my heart. Tango why would you cut like that

Grian solo

bread bridge is carnage

"Yeah my guy I needed that time"

impulse is eagle eyes for those minecarts

bdubs is luck incarnate

sky net is the exact same problem as bread bridge and my mental health CAN'T

2nd kill from bad boys

Grian was farming kills from bread bridge 2.0

there wasn't even a death message

THE LOAF

the silence after

JOEL

it's the silence from all of ties as the do this

scott is GETTING those kills

is skizz out out?!

oh good he's ok just playing his

SKIZZ

tears...beautiful...thunder

down to tie

they're surrounded

bad boys aren't playing

aw joel at the VERY end

a WHAT 30...omg

TIME FOR MARTYN

scott just can't wait

the boom effect

babe said i'll give you time to change that

but they're anyways jumping

fake beds

everyone's so jumpy

"you feel like a dad for figure, I'll take it" "No we already did the soulmate thing"

an exhausted "No! You're not getting a new dead"

then making fun of ties

ohhh so scar was given that kill

oooooo sneaky

"how about Martyn" *GULP*

"because I'm bored"

'safe'

"and a tnt minecart" "oooh"

"me?! im not telling you that"

is that his joel died

Martyn being salty about the glass pane is so funny

ohh that was Jimmy's frantic grab

oh he felt bad

was that the 2nd one

it was

martyn's sneaky this episode

jumpscare

break time to mourn

to be a fly in that discord to HEAR jimmy explain himself

ominous

*sigh* watcher's will be done

did i miss lore last episode

"game on" *death* "game off"

sky net was WILD

like the ground is like nearly unscathed

ok so that's what happened

"bye martyn!"

the mansion was always a massive death zone

i was right! on Joel's death being by the glass

i was so curious about what that was

"im saying it's-spacious"

"don't blame me! i shouted move!"

the carnage is wild

oh he only killed himself

'i could really use that affirmation right now'

why do you want grian?

poor joel

"oh. dear."

'tatters'

oooo joel

SCOTT GOT JOEL OUT

ohh he gained that hour only to lose it

at the beginning of this, even just 2 sessions ago, it was really looking like skizz and scar being the first 2

but we lost 3 and got lore

^^^these three were done the night of^^^

Grian's video is too long for my unfocused self rn and i need to consume different media before i can watch Scott's despite it being short so it's got to be later for them.

Grian's Ep

Scott's Ep

im in mourning already. time to watch the final bad boy.

"what the arrows doing"

THEY FOUND THE BASE

ok well that explains a few things

grian could not let this go

rip the podcast

"maybe" bc it was such a foolproof plan

oh i didn't even notice that he called him jimmy

grian was off doing a solo podcast and just popped off

i love his happy/evil screams

lost about 2-3 hours to the podcast alone but like yeah

it's like every season grian gets one kill that gets him REALLY excited (i almost remember nothing about last life)

bdubs was a real one for that

don't you worry grian

Jimmy's the sadistic one?

oh grian is quick with it

bread bridge mvp

nauseous grian nauseous

"the family"

grian's squealies

idk if i can watch this again *sobs* /lh

it's bc i know that it's cause he stopped crouching that he WALKED OFF

painful every time rip bad boy

grian's cackling is so much fun

AH they put their mourning back on

i love this funeral awww

JOEL

god my favorite part of this server is just when they LOOK UP and you can see all the bridges

back to bigb he's fun

THE DOGS

"AH THE BREAD"

"can you be a nosy neighbor" "You don't wanna be a bad boy?"

"mine are dying or dead"

they are all bad at making allies

time to point and laugh at martyn

good 'ol amnesia cold

he's accepted that Joel is also dying this ep

jimmy dies first, Joel becomes a psychopath--things happen

"if i don't say bye im gonna regret it"

Joel is just like grian you can get this kill

grian-lightheaded lightheaded l- myheart

joel is PLAYING

don't play on the bridge scar

"breathe breathe"

so THAT'S what caused it

omg grian was racking up more than i thought-- that's another hour

it is nice that they were thinking about giving hours for each other

gotta give that update to Joel

"oh scar--force of habit-- joel"

bread bridge 2 is literally the most op

"*gasp* he's got 11 minutes left"

like the moment you left him alone

scar has gotten better at mlp buckets

"im gonna kill pufferfish" "can keep it alive for fun!"

scar bargaining

SCOTT KILLED JOEL 3 TIMES

"im not gonna kill you again you need to survive!"

joel becomes more and more hysterical with every death

"grian it's not going well-" His final words

he wasn't going to do it anyway

he always has. good words good words

bad boy forever at heart

that was a TRUE allyship bad boys till the END

rip bad boys joining the nosey neighbors

(im a bad boy at heart)

he was everywhere this session

scott was a monster this ep

oh so that's where he went

he didn't want that boogie death

scott is so observant

the fact that Scott managed to make so many allies while everyone else is enemies

awwww skizz

therapy but like fun

'stunning, beautiful, jaw-dropping, outstanding'

"i said i was gonna fight but-"

"i wasn't- meaning to!"

it's like the only times Scott has died is because he let them (except for Grian's kills)

impulse's shaky "you are the nicest guy ever"

I think I wanna try to keep count of Scott's kills- i'll be inaccurate though

there's so much happening

they did chase him down

omg god it was everyone

scott is shmovin

just turn it into a challenge arena

"why'd your voice go high Joel" "cause I'm scared scott" that is so funny to me

oh I didn't even notice that Joel killed scar. somehow.

SCOTT KILLED JOEL 4. TIMES. INCLUDING THE FINAL KILL.

9 kills total this ep (i think) 4 of which were joel

that was. a lot.

rip bad boys. so while if Grian wins, it will be a bad boy win- i do not care.

but ah now. i kinda hope the mean gills win. i wonder how lore will happen if Martyn wins. considering last season Scott gave the win to pearl (even if they both technically won bc soulmates)

i also hope ties win.

this, surprisingly, has been like the most loyal season.

tbh i don't care as long as someone i watch wins bc that's a team win. but also very excited to see who wins, even if it isn't someone i watch.

time to watch empires now. so many villain arcs

[bearboiferer69]

My father is a lecho fanatic

Be me, Anon lvl 28. Since I remember my father was a lecho fanatic. Since I fucking remember he only made lecho. It started innocent, somewhere during the communist occupation him, my mother and my older brother went to Hungary. He liked it so fucking much that he stole the whole fucking pot from the local Gordon Ramsay and shoved it into his shitty car with mom and my brother and fucking drove away. To this day mom talks about how he ate bowl after bowl with a retarted smile on his face until he was shitting pure liquid. The peak of fucking communism, no fucking gas station anywhere and every now and then he stopped the car and shat orange unto the bushes. But he kept fucking devouring with no end in sight until they ran out. He threw out that pot and said "Honey, tomorrow we're making lecho for dinner!". Mom has panic in her eyes, brother started crying. After returning home he went to the market looking for bell peppers. Motherfucker bought around 30 Kilo, dragged along the cauldron near some glass jars and put it on the gas stove. Oh, how fucking furious he was, as we had a renovation in he apartment building! He ran to the technicians and started fucking beating them with his ladle until the cops locked him up for 24 hours. Nowadays he keeps fucking yapping about how he suffered under communism for this country's freedom. Bullshit. He was suffering because of lecho.

Motherfucker can stay in the kitchen for 4 hours and send me twice a day to get bell peppers from the shop, because he himself is banned. As soon as she sees me, the lady behind the counter, without a word, gets a whole fucking bag of bell peppers from the back of the store. Now drag this like a moron up to the 3rd floor with no elevator. I once wanted to take a bath, and I fucking couldn't because "Not fucking now, the bell peppers are in there!". Fucking hell, I can't even take a bath in my own house! Motherfucker will stand over the pot and talk to himself "ooh I'd love to eat some lecho rn". He can fill up the whole fucking freezer with this shit. When I was a kid, on Easter he told us to look for gifts from the Easter Bunny near the apartment building, and what did I fucking find under a bush? A jar of fucking lecho! Great fucking gift. I'm not even gonna mention how the jar was warm and that old fuck stole it from me and fucking devoured it for breakfast. Besides, he doesn't eat anything else. One time I wanted to eat some ice cream. Of course dad had to help me with that and made fucking lecho ice cream! Fucking imagine that, lecho on a fucking stick! Once he added way too much salt and pepper because the whole container fell into the pot. And he fucking ate it like that. 15 litters in two days, can you imagine that?! He ate and shat lecho. My brother told him to install a pipe from his ass to his mouth, because he got fucking mad. Dad beat him with a bag of bell peppers, and then lamented that he wasted 20 kilo on him! Christmas, Holidays, funeral wakes, he only ate fucking lecho for dinner! We don't have any guests over anymore, because who's gonna eat lecho while drinking vodka. One time on a trip to Cracow I wanted to go to a McDonalds, he replied that "you're not gonna eat that fucking kemichal slop, daddy made some good food" and takes out a military thermal cup in the middle of the city square. Thankfully mom had 2 loafs of bread for this occasion. I feel ashamed before my peers because when they were sending me off to Biskupin for a trip, dad brought a barrel full of fucking lecho! "Eat some, you're gonna walk for the whole day!" He's able to put a whole fucking pig into it instead of just sausage. Because it's apparently cheaper. He bought an electric cauldron with 500 liters of capacity and put it in the building's dryer room. The block's administration started ignoring the neighbours' pleads for him to fucking throw it out of there. They gave up after the 70th complaint. He now orders bell peppers from a farm. In massive quantities. Mom's crying, because now we have no money for anything except lecho. So he came up with the idea of a bar, where he will only serve lecho. Dense, Diluted, any way you can fucking imagine!

Whenever he could, dad tried to get money for his new investment. After visiting a few banks, where, by the way, they told him he's a fucking lobotomite, he sat furious for a week, scheming. He schemed so fucking hard, that on saturday, at 4AM, he left the occupied drying room, screaming something about Hungary. After half a year they cut off electricity in the drying room, so he would only sit there and hug the cauldron. He went back to cooking home, driving the gas bill through the fucking roof. He kept crying over how everyone at the administration doesn't understand anything and only take rent. Overall those fucks could've left his electricity on, because now the whole flat fucking reeks again. He came back home with fury in his eyes, saying how those whores didn't want to sell him a ticket for a polish bus with luggage in the form of a 500 liter cauldron! Finally he bargained out a bus from an uncle who worked construction, which he will use to go to Hungary. He kept fucking yapping about his grand vision, all day chopping up the fucking peppers in the bathroom, taking turns standing over the pots in the kitchen. He would swing that shit around like he was on fucking speed! His eyes were even fucking glowing.

Next day uncle drove up, and this fuck told him to put that fucking cauldron in the baggage. They got really mad at each other, because he also wanted to get some money for gas. Truly polish. They started fucking fighting in that dryer room, so much that mom had to separate them. Old fuck got a bruised eye and kept lamenting. Uncle took his bus and that's the last we've seen of him. He's on terrible terms with my dad. I can't blame him to be honest. He ate a whole fucking cauldron to calm down, of course unstirred lecho, which managed to burn at the bottom. He kept fucking screaming at us how it's our fault that we didn't keep an eye on it. I don't give a shit.

This time he tried his luck with his buddy from work, but he only had a passenger car. Father complained like a motherfucker, but whatever, he loaded 15 fucking liters onto the car and off they went. We had 5 days of peace at home. He came back driving next to the house in some truck with some equipment and screamed "Honey, I'm leaving work! I found a fucking investor in Hungary!". This was way too fucking much. Out of the truck came some dude in my dad's age and started talking some bullshit about byshy ryshy kyshe lecho eshgdar. I had no fucking clue what he was talking about. Dad didn't either, but he was happy like a child. Apparently when he was away he molested some translator, who had enough of him and agreed to translate a business proposition.

After a week of cooking and devouring lecho in ungodly amounts they bought some crackhouse in the outskirts of the city to renovate it. That old fuck was excited to the max and literally orgasmed at the thought of making money from lecho. I don't give a fuck, I hope he does well. I had enough of this shit already, so I decided to move out. Mom is fucking furious at me, father even more, since who's gonna fucking help him. I told him to fuck off and to hire someone. After the renovation they started their business. At the beginning he kept abusing his electric cauldron and selling everything but he wasn't cooking fast enough. He was so incredibly pissed that he had to hire someone to help. That poor man didn't know what he signed up for. Everything he did was fucking wrong, because he made the fucking lecho wrong, because he did it in a diffrent way, because he's gonna fucking lose it. In the meantime I moved away 50km away from home. But sadly, it's not the end of the adventure.

It's been a couple of weeks since I was home. I call mom everyday, she's not that pissed anymore since dad isn't home for days and his business is bringing in some money. She told me abou how he apearantly went insane because people are eating lecho like crazy and he's gonna build a fucking factory alongside this Hungarian. God damn, good for him. Maybe it's for the better.

No it fucking wasn't. He got so unreasonable that he decided to get himself the biggest fucking cauldron in the whole fucking world. Insanely fucking big. I had no idea what that would look like. The dude my father hired at the beginning even got a higher position. Even tough he's the CEO, my dad does everything himself, becase he gets fucking furious when he sees how they mismanage his lecho. Mom called me and told me that dad is trying to secure funding . Turns out he secured a fucking beating. Turns out even the marshall wanted to sue him, because of how insane he was when submitting the application. Fucker wanted funding for innovation, they laughed him off and told him that lecho isn't innovation and told him to fuck off. Like, in a nutshell. I heard that he got insanely mad because he lost his chance at money. But it wasn't all so bad, as he secured a contract for lecho with Biedronka (european chain store). Now besides this enourmous fucking cauldron he will also have a whole array of freezers. When the Hungarian heard the news he was jacking off for a week, taking turns with the secretary. I mean, she jacked him off, not him her.

I said 'fuck it' and decided to go see what's going on with my father. I'm driving on the express road and suddenly I see a collosal fucking factory from 10 km away. I thought "oh you old fucker, you sly dog". Imagine a pressure cooker the size of the fucking Culture Palace. And on it, a giant fucking neon sign, proclaiming 'LECHO!'. Motherfucker now orders peppers and tomatoes in wagons. He hires like 500 people, but "they don't know anything about lecho, I need to watch over everything myself". I drive up to the factory, he comes out saying "see sonny, you should've stayed here and helped me, you would've been a supervisor". We enter a really fancy office, and I can't fucking believe my eyes. A pool full of lecho! A whole fucking olympian swimming pool full of fucking lecho! Old fuck takes off all his clothes and jumps into this fucking pool. What the fuck is going on here?! I'm leaving, I can't take this anymore. On the way out I trip on some scared technician's foot. He's screaming "Boss, the pressure lock got fucked, everything's about to blow up!". I turn around and I see terrified dad with his junk out, looking at the newly formed cracks on the biggest lecho cauldron in the wold. "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKK!!!!!!!". He didn't even get a chance to finish, when all the lecho started flooding the town as if Johnny from Brazzers came through that crack. They even talked about it on national television. A whole city flooded in lecho!

Dad got such a trauma that I kinda felt bad for him. All he did was reheat the lecho from the freezer and eat it, he didn't say a word to anyone. He fucking devoured lecho and stayed silent. Oh no, sorry, he got diarrhea, but even on the toilet while shitting only lecho came out. He only complained in his sleep about some motherfucker named Zenek who sabotaged his factory out of envy. Until that day came. And I foolishly hoped that it would never come. He woke up screaming "I GOT IT!".

"I KNOW, I FUCKING GOT IT!". At that moment all of my optimism burst like a grown, mature cyst. Why the fuck did I decide to move back in? Dad got dressed up and, to everyone's suprise, didn't swallow a jar of lecho for breakfast, he just flung out th front door even faster then when he was going to Hungary. I tought "what the fuck did he come up with this time? He got enough insurance money to sit on his ass all day and not move an inch". But not my father. He came back in the afternoon. Red like a motherfucker and gasping as if he had a heart attack. I expected another bag of peppers, but I was sadly mistaken. He got a satchel weighing like 50 kilo, some bags full of clothes. You won't guess what this old retard came up with. You won't fucking guess.

I wouldn't have guessed either. Until he sadly enlightened me. "Anon, remember that neighbour who kept going to shamans? The one downstairs?". I wasn't sure where he was going with this. "Yeah I do, but what about her?". Oh how I fucking regret asking..."Because they LECHO cancer! And they healed her!" (Lecho sounds like polish word 'heal' or 'cure'). Oh my fucking God. He throws the open bag onto the glass table, out of which medical insruments spill out. The bag is heavy like a motherfucker, the table breaks, mom screams at dad, dad screams back that nothing happened and that he'll buy a new one, some dog in the corridor (since when do we have a dog?!) wans to take a shit cuz dad only feeds him lecho and has the same medical maladies as him. A fucking crawling circus. Yes, you guessed correctly. He wants to cure cancer with LECHO! I'm at my fucking limit. He called the uncle from construction, but when the call connected, I only heard a collection of the finest insults directed at my father. "Fuck him". He retaliated. He went to the post office to put up an ad to the newspaper. A couple of days later he found a new place with a giant fucking neon (yes, the one leftover from the factory)- here we LECHO cancer. He even recorded an ad with his phone, which he sent to our cable tv: a woman walks on the street and asks a bystander "where do they LECHO cancer?", and then my dad in a white lab coat jumps out screaming "HERE THEY LECHO!" and adress. I felt nothing but shame. I can't show my face in town. Patients are going in like crazy. As you can probabbly imagine, they don't cure cancer. Afer half a year my dad got found out by the government for not having a right to be a doctor. And it all went to shit. They gave him a year with possible parole, luckily he paid off with the insurance money from the factory. Now he fucking cries about how you can't do anything in this country. You had a great fucking idea you old moron. He was so furious he started eating and shiting lecho again. Until one day he brought home some newspapers: Polish Fisherman, Fisherman's World and Super Carp. And so it began...