#go llamas

[hedgehog-moss]

Why is everyone in the world except me unable to figure out the optimal way to load a dishwasher, this is such a burden. I don’t want to be a dishtator but I can’t allow a variety of opinions when it just makes SENSE for wine glasses to be over here where the tray is deeper. You put a small leg-less glass there you’re going to run into problems later can’t you see that?? no long-term vision. No sense of greater strategy, but you can’t live in the moment while loading dishes. You know when fairytale princesses don’t want to marry and give would-be suitors impossible trials, well that would be a good one. I shall plight my troth to the first person who can load an entire dishwasher without doing anything preposterous

[llamagoddessofficial]

Had my brain taken over by this scenario. Enjoy a snippet.

---

“Agent, are you in?”

“I’m in position.”

“Agent is in position. Everyone else, stand by.”

That was you. The ‘everyone else’ part- not the 'agent' part. About six other people were placed around the massive room in various spots. You didn't even know who the other people are, to preserve their safety. You glanced up from the bar, making sure not to look at the agent at the top casino table, instead admiring the very, very expensive casino you were in, the chandeliers and diamonds and saturated golden colour to everything. Your only job was to listen out for one of two codes. If you heard the first code, you were to make your way to the exit in your own time. If you heard the second code, you and the others were to get the agent out, and protect him with your life.

You were collateral.

... You had never seen such an expensive place. Chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, the usual blaring lights and sounds were missing, this was far too refined an establishment. This was the kind of casino where the small blind would be the cost of a really nice house. You were sitting at the bar, wearing a dress and jewellery provided for you, ‘drinking’ (not really) an incredibly expensive martini paid for by the company card-  in any other circumstance, you probably wouldn’t even be allowed into this place. Perhaps as a dishwasher hidden away in the kitchens, if you were lucky.

You sipped the drink. You didn’t even know what the mission was, only the people vital to the mission knew what the mission was, to protect those involved. Honestly, you were just absorbing the glitz and glamour. A glimpse of a world you’d never be a part of. You had nothing to do except intervene if things went south. 

“Target has entered the room. Wait for him to sit at the table and place his bet. Eyes on the prize.”

...

“Hold on. Target passed the table. He...”

...

Your earpiece cut out. Weird. But that probably meant things were getting serious at the betting table, and the important stuff was happening. You weren’t privy to that.

A skeletal hand placed itself onto the bar, just next to you. The deepest voice you’d ever heard spoke.

“... this seat... taken, doll?”

You glanced up from your drink, and found yourself staring into the eyes of...

... the eyelight of Sans Serif.

Woah. Holy shit. You froze, for a second, pinned under that burning red eye... Sans Serif himself. That signature golden tooth. All but leaning over you, his physique was absolutely was towering, especially considering you were sitting. Didn’t his dad own the guy who ran this place? He was more physically intimidating up close than he was in pictures, with those massive shoulders and hands, that vicious skull crack only just hidden under his hat.

... But equally, he was a lot more handsome than photos gave him credit for. You hadn't expected that. Sharp cheekbones, strong jaw, he suited the perfectly tailored red and black suit made exactly to his massive measurements.

“Oh. Uhm... no, it’s fine, you can sit here.” You were nervous. This guy was a big fish, easily the biggest in the casino, one of the biggest in the world. Private jets and yachts, he played at the betting table with amounts of money you couldn't even imagine. He was born into more money than you could ever even comprehend.

He and his family could make you vanish. Not that he needed his family, though. One hand could snap your neck.

... He sat beside you. Your eyes darted up, making note of the two security guards who shuffled to either end of the bar. Suited just as well as him, in matching colours, sunglasses over their eyes and earbuds in their ears.

“... sorry, darlin’. don’t... mind them.” His voice was warm, rich, very soft. He spoke slowly, as if you were the only person in the room with him, but with a precision and deliberateness to his words that sounded like he had spent many hours practising speech. “can’t... go nowhere... without ‘em.”

Wow. He was talking to you. What was he doing? Was he just bored? There were other available seats at the bar, next to much more beautiful women. There were a lot of very beautiful women in this casino who would be delighted to keep the company of the Red Devil himself.

“... If I’m honest, I don’t think they’ll be doing much guarding.” You figured you’d just engage him like he was a normal person. Politely, of course- but no reason why not. 

“hm?” His huge eyelight was fuzzy at the edges.

You gave him a look. “I mean... they’re half your size. They look like your minibosses.”

He chuckled at that. It was a gentle and handsome sound, it eased you. You were still trying to grapple with the fact that Sans Serif was sitting beside you, talking to you. The two of you were from completely different universes.

He seemed so much less intimidating than people described, though. Weird.

The bartender slid Sans a drink without him even asking. It looked like an expensive whiskey, in an equally expensive crystal glass, with a single piece of ice.

“not... bettin’, tonight?” He spoke slowly, lifting the drink to his mouth. He had a golden ring on his index finger that probably cost more than your rent. What was he doing? Were... were you being flirted with by Sans Serif?

You giggled. “No, no, absolutely not. I’m terrible at cards, and dice, everything. Not a chance.”

He grinned. “s’... smart. seen... lotta suckers... lose everything, at those tables.”

He sounded so friendly. So nice. You were unwinding- it strangely so easy to forget who he was.

“Not like I have much money to lose anyway.”

“what brings you... to a casino, then?”

“I’m gonna be honest, I don’t really belong in this sort of place. My friends like the casino a lot more than I do.” You glanced away, again having to make a conscious effort to avoid looking at the agent. “But it seems like they’ve abandoned me.”

... He looked down at your untouched martini. “well. may i... keep you... company? doll?”

You nearly flushed. “Of course.”

His eyelight raked over you. His voice was so deep, so pleasant. “d'ya think... i could start... by gettin’ you a drink you like?”

Sans wanted to buy you a drink? You were... well. Honestly, you were flattered. But also a little embarrassed at being caught out with disliking your drink. You pushed the martini glass away from you.

“It’s that easy to tell I don’t like it?”

The corner of his working socket crinkled. “made... a funny face, when y’sipped it.”

You couldn’t help but giggle again. “I’m sorry. I try so hard to like martinis.”

His smile grew. “why?” 

“... They look so elegant. But...” you nearly cringed at yourself. “... I think they’re kinda nasty.”

He laughed. You felt proud of yourself for getting the sound out of him. You didn't notice the surprised look on his guards' faces.

He brought up his hand, resting his chin on it- why was he looking at you like that? Like you were the only person in the room? “what drinks do you like?”

“The ones that are more fruit juice than alcohol.”

“that... can be arranged.” He purred. “no one will judge. since you’re with me.”

... He was right. Nobody was going to pick you up on drinking something less fancy, when you were with the man himself.

“... I like a tequila sunrise.” You said, sheepishly.

He grinned, and looked to the bartender.

“two tequila sunrises, rob.”

---

Sans straightened his jacket as you walked away. Once you were out of sight, his head guard moved over to him, speaking with a low voice.

“Sir?”

“change... my dinner reservation... to two. i want her at my hotel. tonight.”

“Sir, you're aware that she’s...”

He cast his gaze to his guard. His eyelight, soft and warm with you, was now sharp and empty of feeling. “do i look stupid?”

The guard bowed his head in apology. “No, sir. I am just concerned about the Institute.”

He sneered. “they don’t... care. they’ll see that... i’m interested in her... and turn her into ‘bait’. they’ll put her... right in my lap.”

“Yes, sir.”

“make sure... the jet is fuelled. once we’re leaving... it’ll be fast.”

“Yes, sir.”

... Sans paused. He stared in the direction you had left in. His voice, this time, came out much gentler.

“... make the cabin fridge drinks... sweet.”

“Yes, sir.”

[kedreeva]

Built myself a little stables today in Minecraft, as a treat.

The server is still open for folks who want to come play with me!

[whyeverr]

welp I just noticed it's september... guess I should probably call it quits on that "short" summer break, right? 😬

I have been slowly working on building up my queue while also doing a whole lot of not simming and will probably rip the bandaid off and unpause my queue tomorrow. I'm not ready but if I wait until I'm completely ready I'll never actually be ready, you know?

I had big plans to rework the format for my character and chapter intros and play with using tumblr polls to let y'all make some decisions for us, like who next is going to join New Promise or naming a llama. (Important stuff!) But then you forget what improvements you wanted to make and think better of locking yourself into any given plan — or just realize that the llama quite simply is named Queso. so I'm just going to do my best to keep it simple.

anyway this is just me rambling to say hi, I'm back. 💗 I hope summer has treated you well. I hope it's been easy — it often isn't, more often than not, but it should be. I'm excited to get back to Evergreen Harbor and see everybody again — and some new faces too.

[skumhuu]

To the askers in my inbox. I appreciate trying to keep people safe, but it's literally the type of thing the people you're calling out are doing. That's wrong. Please don't put callouts in my inbox in the hopes that I will publish it. My blocklist is between me, a small council of friends, and my cats.

Tho, if this fucker starts shit I'm reserving the right to tell them to fuck off. Investigate me, or anyone here? Over fiction? I'm going to vague you. Fuck off. Stay safe of course, but fuck off. I'm not playing anymore. You come after me, or someone vulnerable to harassment, I'll fuck you up (aka yell at you)

[azure-skies-with-sun]

My brain is so full of desert duo brainrot that I can see two entirely unrelated socks and get flashbacks to 3rd life

[lazywitchling]

Oh Don’s got a banishing technique that “might have started off as a bit of an internet joke”.

Don, is it from Tumblr again? It’s from Tumblr again isn’t it.

Yeah, it’s banging pots and pans together and cursing.

Alright, that’s vague enough that I’m not adding it to his hbomberguy file, but my man, you have GOT to stop deciding that blogs are good enough to take from but not to source. Fuck off.

[asthecrowspins]

split up a blended top to experiment with striping colours, doing chain ply to keep the colour changes, the bring green is so pretty and all the neppy white bits were so fun when spinning the single

[shih-coulda-had-it]

What animal do you think users are one for all?

I don’t wanna limit myself to just one per… take these with the disclaimer that it’s just one iteration of an answer! This is purely based on vibes instead of anything symbolic.

Yoichi: Weasel

Kudou: Red fox 

Bruce: Badger

Shinomori: Elk

Banjo: Wolverine

En: Fruit bat

Nana: Leopard

Toshinori: Lion

Izuku: Black-footed cat

[defiledtomb]

rook be upon ye

[llamagoddessofficial]

Evil mc…but prison au? 👀

The cell block is her dance hall, and all the boys want to tango. Since she's a villain I'm assuming she's a fellow inmate.

Sans: Her eyes and ears in the prison... her unassuming spy who learns everyone's business and funnels it straight to her. Evil Mc being Evil Mc, she's probably found a way to place herself in the lower-risk prison block- perhaps convincing the prison board that she's at risk of being attacked if she's in the main cells. Perhaps Sans did the manipulation for her to get her more freedoms. Either way, she and her right hand man get a lot of quality time together.

... Sans likes having someone who knows the truth about how fucked up he is from the very beginning. She saw through him from the start. He doesn't have to pretend to be goofy, harmless, he doesn't have to wear a smiling mask; she knows exactly how dangerous he is and she likes it. It feels good to be alone together... to have someone with which he can completely drop the act.

Red: They still have that on-and-off highly flirtatious relationship that they have in the regular villain AU. He's just as devoted as before, he can't get enough of her, and she can't get enough of him either- he likes the danger. She likes his claws.

... Rather than being her ogeneral, he's more of a... bodyguard/supplier/willing boytoy. He keeps her safe if she ever ends up in the main prison population, he twists the guards' arms into doing what she wants, and he constantly delivers her a stream of any banned goods she needs (no questions asked). She respects the chokehold he has on the prison population and doesn't try to disrupt his command like another villain might- ironically, it means he now wants to give it to her willingly. It puts her in a position of massive power.

In a way, it does actually mirror the general and his superior. The army just happens to be the population of the prison.

Skull: Skull is less like her personal guard, and more like a personal bomb.

The fits of rage Skull enters when separated from Mc are something to behold. The prison, reluctantly, allow Skull and Mc a lot of time together- anything to get him to stop killing. Though he's muzzled and bound he still follows her everywhere like a lost dog, ready to take off the fingers of anyone who gets close; she happily feeds his obsessive connection to her, she's very doting and loving with him. The constant stream of attention actually leaves him in a stable enough state of mind to hold slow conversations, and forge alliances with the other two skeletons- it's easy to find common ground over their shared desire to be with her and keep her safe.

It's not dramatic to say he'd do anything for her. The moment she asks him to, he'd kill anyone, he'd break anything, he'd lay down mid-rampage, he'd start a riot. Anything she asks. Many 'incidents' of death or dismemberment chalked up to Skull just being insane were actually direct commands from Mc... though 'command' is a pretty harsh way of putting it.

All she did was ask softly, and kiss his cheekbone. That's all he needed.

[rapidhighway]

designing some characters as stress relief <3

[r0semultiverse]

well, this all looks rather familiar...

[a-side-character]

I'm sure we're all aware by now that FilmCow continues to be a master of surreal/bizarre videos with deeper meanings, but I'm still thinking about the Llamas with Hats Epilogue.

Specifically, about that first video-within-a-video that plays in the beginning. Because, unless I'm mistaken (and bear in mind I haven't read the babies book so maybe that disproves this), that seems to be the first time this has happened, or at least the first time Carl was caught.

I mean, just look at the dialogue here:

Carl: "I don't like the accusatory tones in your voice."

Paul: "I'm, not accusing you of anything."

Carl: "I'm a pillar of the community. And a known philanthropist."

Paul: "I know Carl, I just don't understand how a human hand ended up on our floor."

I know tumblr users are notoriously bamboozled by things like this (piss on the poor website and everything), but to my ears Paul does seem genuinely confused here. He's NOT accusing Carl of anything, not like he does in the other episodes. He doesn't go into the conversation knowing that Carl was the one who did it. There's just a severed hand on the floor, and he's doing all he can to wrap his head around why that would be (even going so far as to "retrace his steps"! He's confused and genuinely looking to Carl for explanation and support!)

This is further evidenced by their later exchanges, once it's been revealed that Carl was indeed responsible.

Paul: This is terrible, Carl

Carl: I can see now that I acted without knowing all the facts.

Paul: I just... I can't belive you're capable of such a thing

Carl: It was a confused moment. Tensions were high

Paul: I don't know, Carl

Carl: I'm just as much as victim as anybody

Paul: I'd like to belive that...

That doesn't read to me like the interactions we've seen from them before. Paul is disgusted and upset by what happened, of course, but he's also upset at the fact that it was Carl who did it. He doesn't want to belive that his partner ("romantic friendship" and all) could be capable of such a thing.

I think this moment - this first time of shock and beratement by Paul - is the high that Carl is chasing every time he does something like this. Only, like any addict, he keeps needing to up the ante in order to feel it, and it'll never quite feel like it did the first time. And, every time he does it, he pushes Paul further and further away.

[honestsister]

Is 2024 the year of toxic yaoi or something???

[aka-indulgence]

HEY @llamagoddessofficial I got some inspo from reading Tilikium, specifically imagining a positive interaction between Skull and a human outside of the ✨Siren Whisperer✨ hehe… I just love soft giant monster and smol child interactions ToT

Also no I’m not projecting kid me here by writing that they were a big marine biology fan, no way

---

he’s still there.

Skull doesn’t think the visitors of this aquarium ever realize that they’re being watched, when they come to Skull’s tank. There was a little boy sitting in front of his tank, on the little platform just in front of the glass. He’s been sitting there for a very long time, maybe since around midday- and it was closing time soon. Most of the time, Skull would see kids running into his room, see the empty tank, look around for a while, before immediately giving up and going somewhere else. He thought the boy would do the same when he first came by. He stayed longer than Skull thought he would, but he did eventually leave. … Only to come back with some snacks in one hand, back to sitting in front of the glass, staring inside. Another time he left, he came back with a curious piece of paper, with something Skull couldn’t quite make out. At all his visits, he brought a book with him. It looked like it was too big for him, maybe half his size- but he always had it with him.

The rest of the guests have left. Not like they’d spend their last few minutes in the aquarium looking at an empty tank. The kid was persistent- even now he was still there, looking back from the tank to the book, and back again. Soon he’d have to go home, Skull knew, but it was… nice. It felt like he had company, even if the child didn’t know he was there.

He took one long look around the tank, those little round eyes scanning… then he climbed down the little platform, taking his book and piece of paper with him, heading towards the exit. He looked dejected, hanging his head low (as low as it could, almost comically so for that little body), dragging his feet.

… He stops when he notices a rather large shadow had fallen over him. Slowly, he turns around.

Skull was there, crawling closer to the glass, his inky black tentacles swaying around him like gentle seaweeds.

Skull watched in gleeful fascination as the kid’s face turn from confusion, to shock… to a wide smiling mouth, eyes wide, taking all of him in. He takes Skull aback for a second, the speed at which his tiny legs ran back towards the glass, placing the book and paper on the side and hopping onto the platform. From the shape and movement of his mouth, Skull could guess he was laughing- he wished he could hear it.

He presses his face against the glass, plopping both hands beside him.

Skull’s eyelight glows brighter, bringing his face lower. His sockets gleam softly at the little one- he looked so chubby, so tiny. His hands would barely be able to circle just one of his phalanges. Skull wanted to squish his hands, his cheeks, how soft they must be. Even when Skull revealed himself to the aquarium staff, he doesn’t remember anyone looking at him with so much innocent joy and excitement. This close, so much smaller than the other humans, yet he didn’t have an ounce of fear in those eyes. The child waves enthusiastically to him, and Skull waves back.

If staff had been looking at him, their heads would all collectively explode.

It’s apparent he’s caught the kid’s attention when his tentacles start curling. He removes his face from the glass, admiring his tentacles. Skull waves them around, chuckling to himself when the kid tries to follow them across the glass, going back and forth, copying the movement with his arms. He looks closer when Skull sticks one of his tentacles to the pane. The kid looks fascinated by his suckers, tapping on them with his finger, maybe counting them. He yelps a little when Skull pries it away, letting them pop off one by one, leaving little trails of bubbles in its wake. He’s laughing, clapping his hands together… Skull can’t help but feel proud, having caused that. One of his tentacles was thicker than the kid’s entire body, he could use it like a blanket. The boy couldn’t hear it, but Skull growls playfully- getting cute aggression at how tiny he was.

The kid realizes something, watching the tentacles, sitting down and opening his favorite book. Skull watches curiously as he gently flips the pages, slowly, like he’s afraid he’d bend or rip the page. Once he finds what he’s looking for, he presses the book to the glass.

Skull narrows his sockets.

There’s… a picture of a deep sea octopus. It’s tentacles matched his.

… aw. Did he have a little admirer?

The boy could hardly contain his excitement, he was bouncing a little.

“Like you!” He saw the boy mouth.

Skull’s sockets turned into crescents, nodding. It was accurate- he used to see those octopuses in the depth he lived in.

What a smart kid. He couldn’t say the same for some of his caretakers.

He puts the book back down, picking up the paper he’d carried around earlier. It’s a little crumpled, apparently from the kid having gripped it too tightly. He sticks it to the glass.

…

This…

This was a drawing of him. Crayons of black and blue, a blob in the middle and jagged tentacles extending outwards.

Skull’s jaw goes slack, taking a closer look of it, sockets wide open. His eyelight growing, looking at the kid. He points to the paper, then to his chest.

“... me?”

His eyes were practically sparkling, nodding furiously.

If Skull was crying, he wouldn’t question it. His eyelight large, fuzzy. Like seeing light from under the waves. A warm smile crept up his face.

“thank you.”

No, the kid didn’t understand him. But he could see the boy’s mouth turn into a small “o” looking deep into his sockets. He looks almost hypnotized, a bit of red reflected in his black eyes. He reaches a hand up as if going to touch him. Skull meets his hand on the glass, fingers outstretched.

He was awestruck, expression unchanging, maybe looking at how big his skeletal hand was compared to his. Skull reads a “Wow,” from his lips, eyes glancing back to his eyes. Light filtered through water, dancing in those innocent eyes. He lets the kid stare- he isn’t sure how long.

Then, the spell breaks. He must’ve heard something, because he looks behind him towards the door leading to the tank room. He looks to Skull, frowning. Skull’s grin falls a little when the boy takes his hand off the glass. Although he couldn’t really feel it, it felt as if he could feel the warmth leaving when he does. He climbs down the platform, grabbing the book, but leaving the paper in front of the glass. He pushes it towards Skull, pointing to him.

‘For you.’

He walks slowly towards the exit, giving Skull a sad smile as he does, waving.

Skull never liked it when the kids had to leave. It was his only joy during opening hours, getting to watch them run around. Nonetheless, he kept smiling for him, waving back.

“Bye bye,” they mouth.

Skull starts drawing backwards, tentacles climbing over each other, the shadow of an adult appearing in the doorway, someone’s looking for the kid-

It’s you.

He stops when he sees you. You didn’t see him, running over to the child, he can’t quite make out what you were saying, but you were checking him… then you looked up and met his eye.

Your mouth opened. The boy looked back, a sweet smile on his face.

They couldn’t hear him, but Skull was trilling, tentacles curling and uncurling with excitement, swimming around his tank in the rare burst of movement, displaying his tentacles for the humans, before retreating back to the cave.

You were dumbstruck. The kid held on to your hand, tugging on it, asking questions about the deep sea cecaelia, breaking you out of your stupor.

This was definitely one of his best days.