#go forth lexi and cause ruin

[escapedaudios]

In my editing cave putting together Lexi's next scene. God I love that evil devil woman oh hohoho I'm always cackling when I edit her scenes she's so bombastically horrible hahaha she's my favorite antagonist I've ever created.

[nicascurls]

How did you feel about season 2?

Ooh, I think this is gonna be a long answer.

So, i have pretty mixed feelings about season 2. Without focusing on the flaws and stuff, I found the season entertaining enough, but the disregard for the legacy characters is something that will always bother me.

It's probably to do with the fact that as a whole, when watching shows, I struggle to care or become attached to teen characters. For the most part, I always find them to be written in a way that makes them very irritating for me to watch, and this is the case when watching Chucky at times. Especially with Jake, in season 2, especially since he has strong main character syndrome, and I find it very frustrating. Specifically with the good chucky plotline and how he just refused to acknowledge any signs or warnings from others and then acted so shocked when Nadine got killed.

This is kind of the same with Lexy's storyline. Don't get me wrong, it was emotional, but a lot of that was down to Aly's performance rather than the actual story. The writing of that whole plot and the way it was filmed just felt like the show was trying too hard to be another edgy teen drama.

As I mentioned, I do enjoy Devon's character and would love to see more focus on him, and I also enjoyed Nadine and just how kind and wholesome she was.

I did adore Glen and Glenda as the human twins, I thought the plot of them not knowing about Tiffany and just thinking she was Jennifer Tilly was a really interesting concept and their bond with Nica. I also like how both twins had conflicted feelings about the truth and their own morality. How Glen was afraid of becoming like their parents but still stuck around to try and reason with Tiffany because they didn't want to abandon her and Glenda trying to separate themself from their parents but still acknowledging their homicidal tendencies. However, I feel like all of that was ruined in episode 8 with them going back into the doll and honestly not acting like either of the twins, in my opinion.

As I mention a lot, I loved Andy, Kyle and Nica all talking. Best part of the season if you ask me. But with that I hate the constant poor treatment of those characters and then no focus on the impact those events would have on them. Which leads into the different Chuckys.

At first, I liked the concept of 'good chucky' and not being sure if they could trust him but I feel like the drew it out far too long. Hated buff chucky and the colonel, that just went too far, they were trying to make them comedic whilst also having the colonel torture Andy and it just made it so difficult to take Chucky as a whole seriously after that.

Ironically, though, I did really enjoy episode 4. It was probably my favourite of the season. Just something about it was very entertaining, I think it was a good balance of comedy and suspense. Again, I really enjoyed seeing the bond between Nica and the twins, and I was so happy for Nica when she escaped and that Kyle helped. Although Tiffany's character felt like it was going very back and forth throughout the whole season, one minute they were trying to make her very sympathetic and almost come across mislead but harmless and then suddenly she was manipulating her child and killing their aunt right in front of them, etc.

Episode 8 was definitely the weakest. I just felt like I was waiting for the episode to start the whole time if that makes sense? Basically the only part of that episode I enjoyed was the last 5 minutes with Nica preparing to take her revenge cause I just didn't care for the teen relationship drama.

So yeah, this is a bit all over the place, but that's some of my thoughts on Season 2.

[childofsolace-write-ups]

[ARC ONE: REUNION]

INTRODUCTION

In the first year, thinking about it now, it was probably already starting then. There was no disaster, but I think it had been hinting on something, about an end that was to come. It was completely dark that night, we thought it was just some kind of an eclipse. But this one was a little strange. It was eerily quiet. I was scared. My baby sister was scared. Hell, my parents were scared. But then, they said it would be okay.

Like always, for every single day of our life, the sun would come up again, shine upon Gaea, and things will go back to normal.

Was I ever wrong.

You know what they say, right? Don't look at an eclipse straight in the eye. It could ruin your eyes? Well, when the sun came, it was so much worse. Anyone who walked out was burned... No, incinerated. Just like that, stepping outside and they spontaneously combust on the spot. The world thought it was just some new phenomenon. Scientists were trying to figure out why it happened. It took a whole year, but nothing came up for their trouble.

Then six more years followed, each one bringing forth a different kind of terror. The weather was unpredictable; countries that never experienced snow suddenly started experiencing hailstorms, leading up to terrible geo-storms. Insects invaded farms and destroyed their produce. Wildlife got infected with some unknown substance until them finally became creatures that look more like monsters we read only ever read about in stories, or watch about it movies.

And that was just the beginning of where everything went completely wrong...

/Trent Everhart/.Transmission over.//Year 70/

Once, people flourished and made a living above land. The resources were abundant. But then again, so were the humans who needed them.

Soon, 'Natural' lost its meaning, 'Artificial' replaced it. Machinery operations ran the daily lives of people, flowers and plants were faked serving as decorations, tall buildings took the place of tall trees in rain forests. Most factors considered natural can only be seen through microscopes.

But nature took its own course and returned with vengeance. Cosmic debris crash landed from above, causing an explosion that plagued the entire planet. It polluted the atmosphere and strange side effects started revealing themselves. Animals and vegetations alike were most susceptible to these changes. They attacked humans, nearly wiping out the entire species. Unable to thoroughly explain how this happened, scientists, without sufficient evidence, wrote it off as radioactive particles causing severe chemical changes to earth's living inhabitants.

But humans were smart, they were animals in their own way. They strive for survival.

Using the historical underground city of Derinkuyu as a reference they created a modernized type and with their latest state of the art technology they expanded it even further from two hundred feet to one thousand feet. For this purpose, unbeknown to the public, a life under the surface of the Earth was being prepared for them. Unlike the Derinkuyu however, they had the materials and technology to have metallic interiors and bunker units for dwelling. A large, nine hundred meter metallic ventilation shaft was constructed, filtering the carbon from above to be breathable oxygen air. The shaft also provided water to both the villagers above and, if the outside world was not accessible, to those in hiding.

Eventually, anyone not affected by the atmosphere were evacuated to underground cities right before the atmosphere could become too unpredictable and prove hazardous to their lives. A new system of governance was created. Since the underground cities in all part of the world were interconnected one way or another, they all decided to use a unified language starting then. 'Councillors' is the term referred to leaders chosen in each division, the word country becoming obsolete.

Guards who were obligated to inspect the surface level regularly were given Hi-tech contamination suits with advanced, state-of-the-art filters as to not be be affected by the atmosphere since anyone exposed to the atmosphere is banned from re-entering the cities. Some people died due to open wounds exposed to the atmosphere's strange particles.

Soon, humans engaged in a new form of living, but not without encountering troubles along the way.

The fear of being unable to distribute provisions without having shortages became prominent. This led the Councilors to convene altogether and come up with a radical solution. They decided to send back to the surface anyone they classify as worthless or a liability. More than a thousand orphaned, disabled, and jobless individuals were sent back up on the first release. It did not really matter to them if they survived or not, it was inconsequential as long as their survival was assured. In the years that followed, this became a normal routine. With the initial liabilities released, all the present releases were orphaned children. Then again, as one hero once stated in the History of the Surface, "The Youth is the hope of the nation", there came a generation of hope.

It was not planned, it wasn't an intention. It just happened.

Of the first batch of releases that only involved orphans, only eight had survived the harsh environment of the regressed and primitive state that the surface had been reduced to. Together, they survived and now thrive to make a living once more above ground, as humans were really meant to be.

Still, the Underground city was not to be ignored. And perhaps, it is to be reminded, who the true enemy really is.

::TREY::

The forest is quiet.

That's your first clue. Even on the surface, even given that most of the Earth's living creatures got wiped out within weeks of it happening, things should never be This quiet.

You'll never know; something dangerous could be trying to hide itself.

"I think this is where I found it."

I give a jolt when Lexie spoke behind me. I completely forgot she was there. With the silence, it was easy to think I was alone. "Keep your voice down," I whisper. "we don't know what might be out there."

"Trey," Kytes whispers back. "wouldn't it be better to just use telepathy? We wouldn't be making any sound."

I sigh, "Kyi that would be using our signature and if there is any bad Mana around here, that would set things off, like an open flame to gas leaks." I rub my forehead. "C'mon, we've been over this a thousand times. You're lucky it's not Rhys reminding you."

Kytes scratches his head. "Oh, yeah..."

"Been here for eight years, you would think you'd have that memorized by now." Lexie teases playfully. "It's survival 101."

Oh really? I think sarcastically. Like she's one to talk about survival 101. Half the time, Corrin's the ones reminding her of our protocols...

Kytes looks a little sheepish. "People can be forgetful, it happens..."

"Okay, shut it already you two." They weren't really making any real noise, but I knew Lexie's tendencies and once you got her talking, it might be harder to get her to stop. "Kytes's idea was good just too bad for that small detail. Now we should keep quiet." Like I was making any noise, though. "Let's get a move on, keep alert for anything that doesn't feel right."

"Heh, I forgot how uptight Trey can be..."

I huff in irritation but chose not to respond. She calls it being uptight, I call it instinct. It was very important after all, especially in terms of surviving the surface's unpredictability. We, the ones left, have gotten pretty good in relying on instincts. It's about the only warning you get up here.

The forest is very unusual even if it looks like any other forest. For one thing, I'm not even sure it can be called a forest, at least not a natural one, given that it's growing in the middle of what used to be a town. The road is cracked by numerous roots, and most of the buildings have trees growing out of them. Their walls could be hiding any number of things. The forest itself is the oddest thing. Many years ago, this was a thriving metropolis, full of people, tourists, machines—now it's home to trees that look like they've been there a good fifty years at least. This is one of the most immediate changes caused by the strange atmosphere when the phenomenon had first spread out through the entire globe. The landscape got warped beyond all recognition in the early days. That's why so many people died...

Like mom and dad.

"Oh!" Lexie cries and stops in her tracks.

I turn towards her. "Shh!" I snap. "Alexis, jeez."

"But Trey, this is where I found it. Only..."

Kytes scans the area. "Well, it's not here now."

"Quiet, the creature that pissed might still be around." I face Lexie. "And you're sure the piss was the non-absorbent type?"

We have to watch where or what we step into. Because if, for instance, you got an open wound and you stepped into a puddle with urine in it and that wound happens to get infected as well then it could mean something really bad. The Rabid animals up here are so messed up that even a slight contact with their shit may turn fatal for us. Luckily, only the Rabid Animals have urinal waste that have a touch of color so it's easy to figure which ones are the non-absorbent type. We try to get rid of those because prevention was better than cure.

"Well, it was a pool on the ground, all purpley and molted. I watched it for a while, it didn't seem like it was going away." Lexie combs strands of black hair away from her face. "So I thought..."

Kytes shrugs. "It's either something else absorbed it, or it really was absorbent after all and just needed more time to soak in."

"Maybe. So then, should we just—EWW, GROSS!"

"What is it—OH YUCK!"

I swat them both to remind them to be quiet and made a mental note to give them extra kitchen clean up duty. Really, do they want a death wish?

"It's just a skeleton—" an animal's. We don't see human skeletons since the earlier days, when we made it a point to try and bury the ones we still could out of respect. "you've seen them before."

"I know—but they're usually not THAT fresh." Lexie frowns.

I have to agree, it's isn't the prettiest thing I've seen. Even the other skeletons weren't as bad. It looked like someone's halfway eaten meal...

Wait.

"Quiet. See if you can hear anything."

Lexie leans back against a tree, Kytes crouches by a bush with me, and we stay still as possible listening out for anything unusual. I know there's something not right here. No animal noises, no birds. Then there's that heavy oppressive silence as though we're being watched very closely. A light breeze blows my fringe into my eyes and I bat it out of the way, frowning. The feeling something being wrong is stronger than ever.

Wait.

The breeze.

It should have rustled the leaves on the trees too. Yet there was no noise. I look up at the tree tops. They're perfectly still. Even as another breeze stirs the forest. Why would that be? Unless the trees are watching us?

I look around the Clearing.

Now that I think about it, the trees do seem slightly closed together than they were. As I watch, an oak sends a root trailing over! What could they be doing?

Unless... The Skeleton.

"RUN!" I grab Kytes and haul him after me, jumping over the oak root and out of the circle of trees.

"Woah now! Trey—what?"

Kytes doesn't have to finish his sentence. A large branch is suddenly in front of us and I'm unable to stop from tripping over it. A root winds itself around my ankle. Kytes is now full aware of the attack as more follow, breaking the surface of the ground to wrap themselves around us.

"I thought they only moved that fast with time lapse photography!"

Kytes takes his survival knife out. "I think this is a bit more serious than time lapse photography!"

Before I could bring out my own Cutlass, some vines grab hold of my forearm. The blond slashes off with precision he mastered, perfectly avoiding cutting my flesh. Lexie wields her double-edged Naginata to cut off vines stretching down from above. I'm still amazed how a girl like her who used to whine about missing cosmetics and other pointless stuff is now so skilled in combat. I think Lexie's weapon type came from some Asian country. I forgot which one. Actually, I even forgot what our own country was called. It seemed like such a long time ago that we used the term country.

I am once again forever grateful of Rhys's brilliant mind. Back then, we could count the weapons we had available to us with two hands. But once we got older, or more to the point, when Rhys got older and smarter, he made used of some books he found to create bladed weapons once we found a steel forging factory. And he had enough books to show him how to forge weapons of different origins. He taught us how to make our own, but most of the time they were poor attempts compared to what Rhys can craft. Now any weapons we need for ourselves and those who keeps coming can be easily accessed and made... Well, maybe not easily made since they still required a lot of effort, but at least we don't have to keep scavenging for usable weapons now. Sure, we could use all those guns and ammunition we got in storage, but we all agreed to save those for a time we might really need to them. Besides, at least with bladed weapons, there's no worries for a shortage of ammunition.

"Kytes, Trey! Do something, they keep coming!"

Kytes slashes his knife to an incoming vine before jumping back. "Uh, and you don't call what we're doing something?" He jumps over a root.

"Less talking, more attacking!" I snap, finishing off the hostile roots at my side and rush to aid Lexie. I make it in time to keep a giant flower bud from chomping her head clean off, barely missing the launch of purple goo it spat out. "Wah?!" I yelp, twirling my head around for a double take, seeing the goo boil through a bush as if it were acid or something, which explained the skeleton. "Okay. Rabid Vegetation's Gastric acid. Just as bad as a Rabid Animal's piss."

Lexie grunts, using her weapon as leverage to get up. "Noted. Next time, try saving my skin without pushing me. I twisted my ankle."

Okay, that was my bad. But it was that or being plant feed. At least she didn't break skin and bleed. Although uncertain, Corrin says fatality is possible if open wounds were exposed to loose Mana energy for more than ten minutes, and I forgot to make sure that we brought bandages with us. That's one strike of careless act for the day. I try to keep that to a minimum, the maximum being three. As the Leader, being extra cautious is an expectation.

"Trey! Help me out here!"

I spin around and saw vines lifting Kytes up, his knife lay useless on the ground. I rush towards him.

By duty, I was responsible for everyone up here as their leader.

As a friend, I was responsible for the blond, I was indebted to him.

When my sister was sick on the day we were going to be released to the surface, he took her place. I also owe it to his older brother, my best friend, who was now taking care of her back in the Underground city.

The vines were so thick that I couldn't slice through it with my Cutlass. I had to use the other way, but how can I with Kytes still in its clutches? A vine grips around my arm and I wince in pain as it tightens on my radius.

"TREY!"

Before I was fully aware of it there was fire flooding all my senses. I lashed out in rage, only vaguely aware of the beeping on my wrist that reminds me to take it easy. The vines holding up Kytes fall away in front of me. Luckily, the blond looked unharmed.

"Get out of the way!"

Thankfully, Kytes seemed to get what was about to happen. He grabs his knife and rolls out of the way. Good, I did not want to be misunderstood now. The two did not take their eyes off me as they back away. I concentrate where I want to have the flames to burst out and the results were no less effective. The Vegetable mutations draws back, leaving us unscathed except for Lexie's twisted ankle, which Corrin can heal no problem. I concentrate on pulling my power back. I look at the device fashioned like a watch that was strapped on my wrist, indicating my energy's exertion level. I see that it's stable and I join the two out of the clearing. Kytes helps her up and supports her weight.

"Code Red?"

I sigh, nodding. "Yes. We had far too many incidents this week alone, this being the twelfth. It's about that time again," It was a little frustrating. Rhys just got a filter working so we could fill a pool with clean water. I guess we have to make the most of it while we're still here. "I don't want anyone hunting till we move. We still have meat stocked so it's not like we have to settle for the vegetables and fruits in Kytes's gardens."

"Hey," The blond scowls. "My produce aren't that bad... are they?"

I smirk. "No Kytes, but if there's a chance to have meat, we want to have some too." I pat his back. "Let's head back."

"Oh, but Trey—" Lexie's eyes rolls up a bit. It signals her using her tracking ability. She's like a built-in GPS system with that. I don't really get it, but she can sense another person's or thing's Mana and Rhys has a theory that the ones who use Mana in their own way also has a unique trademark, like a fingerprint, so to speak. It was a bit unnerving the first time she used it since all you see were her cornea, but if you knew her as long as we have, you get used to it. "—yeah, I sense three guys out hunting nearby already."

I roll my eyes, "Three," I mutter knowingly, and the two share similar looks. "the only one who can get away with not following the group count rule is Meeko, and only if he has Lori and one other person watching his back."

Back then, with the whole idea of 'The rule of three' and it being an optimal number, maybe it would've made sense. But when playing video games and I would choose Party members, to challenge myself, I would pick three only; the MC would still get enough experience points and two characters would be enough to support him in battle. But this isn't a video game with a restart button. Normally when we send out groups for hunts, Five was the permitted number. It's too dangerous any less. Meeko can get away with it since his ability was multiplying himself. Usually, Meeko did most of the work to get it out of his system, being one of those always hyped-up types. Granted, he is one of our best hunters which we would all acknowledge often if he wasn't so rash and impulsive at times. This brings me to his better half, or more reasonable twin brother, Lori who normally didn't like fighting. Unless something or someone he cares for is in danger, he can be provoked to act though.

In our case, well, I thought the three of us would be enough for the Urinal extraction since we weren't really expecting a fight since this wasn't a hunt for food and we are still pretty much near the base, but I guess I didn't account for the fact that trouble would be the one hunting us. Even two persons used to be enough for extractions, but perhaps I neglected to take into consideration the level of experience. Previously, those two persons doing extractions had been either Rhys and myself or Leon and Jonah, the latter pair being eldest of our entire group. I only grabbed Kytes and Lexie this time because they were immediately available, and while I did not question their experience, Kytes was more adept to scouting, and that entailed evasive action, staying in a place only long enough to check its safety and avoiding combat as much as possible. Lexie was used to scavenging, which was gathering any useful items or materials after scouts deemed an area clear for occupying or searching. These two haven't seen combat as often as I have.

Damn, that's a second strike for me. "Where are they exactly?"

"A bit Northeast you'd get to that river, follow it downstream you'll make it to a clearing passed some thicket of bushes. Berry bushes, to be exact, not the good kind. They're at a glade of sorts..." Lexie smirks. "Well, at least the two not going crazy are. But I sense the third more crazier one of them is nearby."

Kytes laughs. "Just make it easier and call him who it most probably is. Even I can figure it's Meeko." he says.

"Okay, you two head back. I'll go fetch them. Kyi, after you take Lexie to the infirmary, go tell Rhys to prepare putting up some warning signs." I instruct. "Suggest Code 3." Carnivorous vegetation.

The blond nods. "Code 3, got it." He lifts Lexie, positioning her on his back in a way that can make him run faster. He takes off and I'm fairly impressed. He's fourteen carrying a sixteen year old while managing a running pace. I guess years of training does that.

I sheath my Cutlass and took off myself.

[secretobsessionstuff]

Could I request a fic with your sweetest, softest male character? He has a really terrible stomach flu (fever, shivering, cramps, cant stop throwing up or retching even when he's empty) and is trying his best to hide it from his friends-- maybe afraid of being a bother. Bonus points for eventual comfort and lots of belly rubs.

Dude this is such a good request! I love when characters hide being sick!! thank you. This ended up being rather long, for me anyway, so I couldn’t add in everything you wanted. But I would be willing to write a second part to this fic if anyone was interested. 

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Alexi felt disgusting, but he looked pretty darn good for someone running a 102.2F temperature. He didn’t have much choice; it was either admit to feeling like absolute garbage, thus ruining the whole day for his friends, or keep up the façade and pretend that his eyes weren’t melting inside their sockets.

So yes, Alexi looked perfectly normal…he hoped. Though his cheeks were flushed, the convention center was insanely hot and crowded for anyone to think something was wrong. He just pushed through the mass of people, knowing that in such tight quarters he was spreading his flu…well like the plague.

It felt like the plague anyhow. His head was throbbing, as if his brain were trying to escape through his ears; that unnatural chill that only came from a fever was causing goose bumps to pop up all over his arms and down his back; and his belly was roiling.

As Madix, Riley, and Micah were all waiting in line to get pictures with obscure, second choice and therefore affordable actors, Alexi snuck away to the bathroom for what felt like the billionth time that day. By noon, he was very aware of where every single bathroom was located in the building.

This trip to the toilet was like all the others. He locked himself in a stall and gave himself permission to express the pain he felt clear across his face. Hugging his aching stomach, he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to take slow breaths through his mouth. Alexi had no way of knowing how high his temperature had gotten since that morning, but he could tell he was feeling worse. Breakfast was sitting heavily in his gut which he knew wasn’t going to be there for much longer.

The nausea was intense, so much so that he needed to brace himself against the stall walls to keep himself upright. This time he was lucky that there was no line to get into the bathroom, because he felt dangerously close to seeing partially digested waffles fill the toilet. Alexi’s Adam's apple was bobbing up and down like a buoy on the choppy ocean. He continuously swallowed down waves of saliva. As he shoved the bottom of his palms into his eyes, his knees gave up and he slumped to the tile flooring.

With his elbows on the dirty toilet seat, he spat sticky tendrils into the bowl. Deep and guttural burps echoed in the small space around him, and could probably be heard by every other person in that bathroom, but he couldn’t find the effort to care.

A gag suddenly took him, and he found himself leaning into the toilet, prepared to catch anything his stomach was going to send up. His jaw felt tingly and heavy, but still nothing came up but wet belches. One harsh heave interrupted the burps, but it was dry. The second heave came soon after and this one was much wetter. It brought up gush of thick pale vomit that made Alexi shiver as it rushed up his throat. Tears leaked from his eyes from his eyes and his arms felt weak as they supported his body. A deep groan was heard from his stall as Alexi flushed the toilet and left while rubbing his face. The few stares from the witnesses didn’t bother him, not while his stomach was bothering him so much more.

Alexi returned to the line after having cleaned himself up. He washed his hands, gargled water in his mouth, and splashed his face so that he didn’t look so ashen and sweaty. Of course, as he met back up with his friends, a new wave of sweat had broken out across his nose and a new chill shot down his back. He wrapped his arms around themselves, partly to stay warm and partly to hide the goose flesh that any sane person would question in this scorching room.

Alexi ducked under the rope and joined his friends halfway through the line. He plastered his happy-go-lucky smile on his face and said something random. That was one of the downsides of always being chatty and bright – it was so much more obvious when something was wrong.

His boyfriend seemed to relax slightly once Alexi had returned. Micah took Alexi’s hand and swung it against their legs. He gave Alexi a quick peck on the cheek, but he moved away rather slowly. The smallest trace of worry crept across Micah’s features, though it dissipated as soon as Madix changed the topic of conversation.

The lineup took ages. Thankfully, it gave Alexi time to rest. He wanted so badly to sit down but he knew that would draw attention to himself. So, he stayed standing, shifting his weight back and forth on his legs. Alexi soon rested his chin on Micah’s shoulder, hoping that it came across as boredom and not fatigue.

Micah gave him a strange look. Though before he could question it, Alexi excused himself to the bathroom once more. As he turned to leave, Micah grabbed his wrist.

“You just went, Lexi,” Micah remarked. “Besides it’s almost our turn.”

“I know, but I’ve been drinking a lot of water.” Alexi looked around nervously. “I’ll be quick I promise.”

Alexi wasn’t quick. In fact, he stayed in the bathroom even while the three other boys got their pictures, autographs, and merch. Micah was getting worried. As the three of them left the line, Micah’s eyes were darting in all direction, looking for his boyfriend. There weren’t even any bathrooms in sight.

“Micah, slow down,” Riley said as he struggled to keep up with his cousin. Madix was trailing behind as well.

Micah bit his lip worriedly. They were stopped in the middle of the room, with booths and people all around them. “We have to find Alexi. He won’t know where we are.”

Madix urged the group to the side of the room where the likelihood of being trampled was far less great. “He has been gone a long time. Is he okay?”

“I don’t know.” Micah started to chew on his thumbnail. “I’m gonna go look for him, you guys stay here so we can meet back up.”  

Micah embarked on his mission. He pushed through slow walkers and squeezed past people in amazing yet impeding cosplay. The first bathroom he saw was his destination. He made a beeline for it, and just as he came upon the door, Alexi emerged. He hadn’t spotted Micah yet. Micah noticed the way his boyfriend held his stomach and the way he staggered slightly as he walked. He called out to him.

Alexi jumped, but quickly composed himself. Before the pair could head back into the madness of the con, Micah pulled Alexi to the wall.

“You were gone forever, Alexi.” Micah said, sounding a bit annoyed, though he changed his tone to something softer as he carried on. “What’s going on? Are you feeling alright?”

Alexi slumped his shoulder against the wall. Apparently, he wasn’t so good at hiding his pain. In that moment, he was sure that his face was sickly green and betrayed the truth of how he was feeling. The sour taste of vomit was fresh on his tongue, but he tried to ignore that while he spoke. Micah didn’t need to know that he was throwing up, because then he would surely make them all go home, and Alexi couldn’t do that. They’d all been waiting a year for this con. He could keep up the semblance of health.

Alexi’s face turned red. “My stomach was a little upset, but it’s better now.” That was lie…but Micah didn’t know that. In truth, Alexi’s stomach was killing him. He would have loved for Micah to take him home.

“You sure? It’s okay if you need more time, I was just worried before.”

“Yeah I’m sure, let’s go.”

“Okay…” Micah said hesitantly. He wasn’t entirely convinced, especially with the way Alexi was holding his belly, but he didn’t want to press the matter and make Alexi embarrassed.

It was easy enough to find Madix and Riley. They were pulled off to the side of the room, casually watching the cosplayers walk by and gawking at their favourite characters come to life.

When Alexi approached them, he looked less alive than he had seconds ago. His belly was still so upset, despite having just thrown up; apparently, he rushed himself a bit too much. He stumbled to the wall and caught himself, narrowly stopping his aching head from colliding with drywall.

“Whoa Alexi,” Riley said, reaching his hand out to grab his friend’s shoulder, “you look rough.”

Madix got closer as well, which Alexi wasn’t too thrilled about considering that he was pretty sure he was about to heave his stomach into his hands.

Madix looked back and forth between Alexi and Micah, wondering if Micah had noticed his boyfriend’s state. “Lex, you look like you’re about to pass out. Your face is grey.”

Micah wanted to jump in and relieve Alexi of everyone staring at him, but he really did look awful. Perhaps it was worse than what Alexi was letting on. “Babe, I thought you were feeling better. Tell us what’s wrong so we can help.”

As if he were drunk, Alexi’s vision darkened and he swayed where he stood. There was no denying it now, not when his friends were interrogating him like this. “I feel awful,” he admitted, while dragging his back down the wall and sitting on the floor. He pulled his knees up to his chest and groaned.

At the same time, the three other boys all crouched down as well. When Alexi’s eyes focused, he found both Micah and Madix staring at him worriedly. But they were so close, too close. He only wanted Micah. Just Micah and no one else. He wanted to be away from all the noise, the people talking, the bright lights, the crowds.

He put his head in his hands. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I tried to ignore it, but my stomach is a mess, I can’t stop throwing up, my head is killing me, my –”

Micah put his hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder. “What! You threw up?”

Alexi nodded miserably.

“Oh Alexi,” Madix added, “you should have said something.” He gave a sympathetic look to the sick boy, seeing the way his nose dripped with sweat.

Madix instinctively reached his hand up to touch Alexi’s forehead, then paused with his hand hovering halfway in the air. “May I?”

Alexi nodded weakly, already aware of what Madix was going to find. His golden curls were brushed back by Madix’s cool hand that felt nice against his burning skin. He leaned into the touch, momentarily letting someone else support the weight of his head.

“Shit, man.” Madix pulled his hand away slowly. “You’re on fire. No wonder you feel like crap.”

Alexi moaned and curled in on himself. “I feel like I’m gonna be sick.”

“Yeah, we’re going home right now,” Micah said decidedly. “Lexi, can you stand?”

Alexi probably could not have stood up in that moment, but he didn’t need to try because it was then that his stomach decided to spasm again. He retched emptily at first, succeeding only in making his body lurch forward. Everyone took a step back out of shock, and everyone except Riley moved back to keep Alexi from falling forward.

The second heave burst from his chest, sending up a thick wave of vomit that covered his legs and dripped down his chin. Alexi choked out a sob and squeezed his eyes shut as a felt his stomach do another flip. By this point, Micah was rubbing his back and muttering something sweet he couldn’t hear. Blood was pulsing in his ears, making him dizzy and drowning out any attempt at comforting him.

God, he felt so sick. His stomach continued to contract painfully, even when he had nothing left to throw up. He clutched at his chest while he heaved dryly in the crowded room. Thankfully, Micah and Madix were partially covering him from view. This privacy, however, did nothing to lessen the gut churning sensation in felt in the pit of his stomach.

By the time he finished, his cheeks were streaked with tears, his chest was tight, and his hands were shaking. The worst part was that he still felt like hell.

Micah was soothingly brushing his hair away from his face. “Alright, take it easy, babe. Try to catch your breath.”

“I feel so sick,” he moaned while looking at the mess drying on his crotch. “I want to go home.”

“I know you do.” Micah said, still gently massaging Alexi’s head. “Madix and Riley went to find the car, so you don’t have to walk as far.”

Alexi wanted to thank his boyfriend. He wanted to apologize for being sick. He wanted to do so many things, but he couldn’t even keep his head from lolling around. He simply closed his eyes and wished for the day to be over. He wished to be lying in bed while Micah played with his hair. If it was any consolation, part of that wish came true. 

[onetwosevensquad]

Good Enough For You: Chapter Thriteen

Doyoung x reader

Summary: You are your brother Yuta’s songwriter and Doyoung is his best friend and manager. When your brother gets his chance to go on tour, what happens when you have to spend two months on the road with your long time crush and scheming brother?

Warnings: like one curse word

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

———

When you and Doyoung stepped out of the hotel into the cool night air, he led you over to a car waiting by the curb. He let go of your arm and opened the passenger door for you to step in. He went around to the other side and got into the drivers seat and started the car.

“Seriously Doyoung, where are we going?” You said smiling at the man next to you. As he pulled into the road, Doyoung laughed.

“I told you it’s a surprise,” he said with a smile. You rolled your eyes but nonetheless kept the smile on your face.

You looked out the window and admired the beautiful city in Singapore. Soon, Doyoung came to a full stop outside of a restaurant. He shut off the car and came around to your side to help you out.

He gave the keys to the valet and led you inside. When you stepped inside the restaurant, your mouth hung open at the lavishly decorated interior. You wondered just how comfortable Doyoung’s family was if he could afford something like this.

Doyoung took your hand and led you behind a hostess to a table in the corner near the window. You both sat with your menus and looked through the options, going back and forth on what looked good.

Finally, about half an hour after arriving, your food and drinks were at the table and you and Doyoung were telling stories. You laughed together and generally had an amazing time.

After the food had been cleared away, you and Doyoung ordered one more drink before leaving. You looked out the window and watched as people went about their evening. Some on dates, some out with friends, you even saw a young family who had just got ice cream at the shop down the street.

Out of the corner of your eye you noticed Doyoung staring at the side of your head. You fully turned towards him and looked him in the eye which cause a slight blush to creep up his neck.

“What?” You questioned, smiling at his bashfulness. He took a sip of his wine before he spoke.

“Nothing, it’s just...” he paused, looking for the right thing to say. “You just look really beautiful.”

It was your turn to blush, muttering a small thank you before taking a sip of your own wine. The smile on Doyoung’s face told you that he was proud that he made you blush. Cheeky bastard.

His smile soon fell though, as his eyes trailed behind you.

“Son of a bitch,” he mumbled. You turned in you seat towards the door to see where he was looking. Your eyes found none other than Lexi standing at the door with that other intern you saw her flirting with back in Tokyo.

You turned back to Doyoung and saw him call over the waiter to pay the check. He pulled out his card and handed it to the young man he made quick work of bribing it back to the table. You knew that Doyoung was rushing because he was not big on confrontation and neither were you, especially with Satan’s secretary.

You were on you feet before Doyoung, knowing that you two were leaving. He stood up and grabbed his jacket and, as soon as you had yours on, grabbed your hand in his and led you towards the door.

“Doyoungie!” You heard from behind you. So close. “Didn’t expect to see you here,” you turned to see Lexi holding onto her dates arm, who looked confused. You noticed Doyoung hasn’t said anything yet so you decided to speak up.

“We really have to be going,” you said tugging on his hand. You saw Lexi scowl at you before you turned and made it out the door. You walked Doyoung down the street a bit, away from the restaurant before you stopped.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered after a minute. You saw the sullen look on his face and felt your heart break. “I’m sorry she keeps ruining everything.”

“Doyoung it’s not your fault,” you said pulling him into your arms. He snaked his arms around your waist and hold you tightly. “Besides I had fun tonight.”

“Yeah?” He said pulling back and looking at you. You reached up and placed a soft kiss on his lips. When you pulled away you both smiled.

“Yeah.”

———

Rose: this was almost going to be the last chapter but I have a few more ideas. But yea here’s chapter thirteen! We’re in the teens already jeez! I hope you enjoy and you’ll see more on Thursday. Also if anyone gets what tv show I referenced in here I’ll love you forever. I’ll tell you what it is in Thursday’s post.

[wlw-multi-fandom-imagines]

Okokok how about lexi is super into rue (bc she is lmao) and r is into lexi and she tries really hard to get noticed by lexi and then the night of the dance lexi sees rue and jules together and hooks up with r and lexi thinks it’s a big mistake the next morning but when r starts to avoid her shes like wow i actually like this human (or u could make it angsty and lexi doesn’t like her romantically)

The second you saw Lexi step back through the gym doors, you forced yourself away from the wall and headed straight towards her.  You had been trying to catch her eye for most of the night, but of course, her gaze has been mostly locked on Rue, who was obliviously too distracted by her own life to notice.

It was now or never, you had told yourself.  The dance floor had already started to clear, as well as the parking lot outside.

“Lexi!” you shouted over the music and reached out to touch her arm once you were close enough.  “Look, I just...do you want to dance?”

When she whirled around to look at you, it became apparent that the brunette was a bit tipsy.  Her cheeks were flushed and for a second, you swore her eyes were tearing up.  Before you could ask if she was okay, a grin tugged at the corners of her mouth and she nodded back towards the exit.  

“Let’s do something more exciting.”

Despite the nagging feeling that Lexi was upset about something, you allowed yourself to be pulled out into the hallway and away from the rest of your peers.  

“You have a car, right?” she asked, not even bothering to glance back as she tugged you towards the front lot at an erratic pace.  

“Yeah,” you confirmed and fished your keys out of the inner pocket of your suit jacket.  You had spent an hour and a half adjusting the vintage suit you had managed to find at a flea market, hoping to impress her or at least earn a second glance.

“Are you okay to drive?  Cause I’m really not.”

“Yeah, I smoked but it was uh, like an hour ago.  I’m good.”

You planted your feet once the two of you were outside, finally forcing her to stop.  Headlights flashed to your left as you clicked the key fob and Lexi smiled again before dragging you towards them.  She was too fast to even let you offer to open her door for her, so you slid into the driver’s side and started early 2000′s Honda’s engine.  Much to your relief, it didn’t sputter the way it usually did on chilly nights.

“So, where exactly are we going?” you asked as you threw the car in reverse and backed out of your spot.  

“We can go to my house; I’m sure my mom’s passed out by now.”

“And that’s going to be more exciting than dancing?”

“If you play your cards right, it will be.”

Every muscle in your body tensed as her hand tentatively gripped your thigh.

You drove the short distance to her house without another word.  Truthfully, it took everything you had to keep your focus on the road in front of you and not the way her thumb occasionally moved back and forth against the fabric of your pants.  Your heart pounded against your ribcage as you pulled against the curb and put your car in park.

“Come on, we have to be quiet.”  Lexi finally removed her hand from your leg and stumbled out of the car.  She was drunker than you had realized and you hurried after her to make sure she didn’t stumble on the way to the front door.

The two of you managed to make it into the house without a terrible amount of noise, though had started to giggle after struggling to take her shoes off.  You steered her towards her room, noting her mother’s sleeping form on the couch as you passed it.  

The second you shut the door to Lexi’s room, you heard her take a deep breath as though she was preparing for something.  Her lips met yours as you turned in response and for a moment, you froze.  Excitement filled your chest, battling for dominance with the guilty awareness of the alcohol behind her actions.  You were about to push her away when her arms wrapped around your waist.  Giving in to the weakness in your knees, at least for now, you allowed her to shuffle the two of you back to her bed.  

“Lexi?” you pulled back and opened your eyes.  “You’re drunk and I-”

“You’ve wanted this all year, Y/N.  Don’t ruin it with your conscience.”

She kissed you again and you relented for the time being.  She was right, though it hurt to know that she had been aware all this time and just ignored it.  

--------------------------------------------------------------------

“Y/N!  Y/N, wake up!”

You jolted awake as panicky hands shook you and tried to figure out where exactly you were.  Memories of the previous night crashed back into your mind the second you looked at Lexi’s panicked face.

“What happened last night?  Did we have sex?”

“Lexi, no!” you assured her quickly.  “We just...we made out a little and then you tried a bunch of times but you were really drunk and I didn’t want you to do something you’d regret.”

“I...I what?  Jesus, Y/N, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, it’s whatever,” you jumped out of her bed and began to hastily button your shirt back up.  “You should take some Advil and drink some water.  It’ll help.”

You were practically scrambling to get out of her room and in doing so, almost forgot your keys.  Despite the fact that you could feel her eyes on you, you kept your gaze firmly on the ground while you retrieved the lanyard and retreated to your car.  

[retro-aesthe]

Sidelines (Part 3)

(idk what happened. I typed and this is what came out. I feel like it should have a TRIGGER WARNING. So yeah, be warned... I think. Enjoy reading!)

Alex Danvers x fem!reader

One week. Seven days. Seven fucking days of avoiding Alex Danvers, of always being close to tears every time you remember what happened that night. Also, always cringing whenever you do.

• • •

Lexie pulled back. You were shaken out of your hazy mind, and you sobered up enough to make sense of what was happening. You can still feel Lexie’s hot breath against your mouth, and you can’t help but want to pull her closer and kiss her again.

“Y/n. Stop. You’re…” It was blurry, what Lexie said afterwards. Right when she said “stop,” you pulled back, horrified. You looked into her eyes. They were so big and you can see how she was a mixture of alarmed, confused, and terrified—fucking terrified. God, you ruin everything.

Lexie was still talking, but all you can hear was ringing. You were getting dizzy, as if you’re close to having a mental breakdown. If there was a “zooming” feeling, it was this. The tequila doesn’t help—it was making everything worse. And your heart was racing and everything was sharp yet they aren’t.

“Leave… leave, please leave.” Your voice went from low mutter to above average volume. You weren’t shouting though, it was just loud enough to stress conviction, your need for her to leave. “Please, Lexie, leave…” you were whispering now, because you’re close to hyperventilating. You were close to having a breakdown, not being able to process what was happening.

“Y/n… no…” You looked up at her with tears in your eyes. You were still battling the alcohol in your body, that’s why when you tried to push her off your sofa, your hand slipped from her shoulder. You kept on trying until she relented. She stood up.

“Y/n…” You heard her try once more. You shook your head fiercely and muttered “leave.”

You were a mess and you only half care about it.

• • •

Every time you remember what you did, you cringe. No, you shouldn’t have wasted that bottle of tequila that night. You shouldn’t have given in to urges. Or, you should have gone to a bar.

You just went out of the building where you work when the ground shook. You immediately parted your legs to steady yourself then, covered your head. You looked around and saw people panicking. The ground was still shaking—it was an earthquake, obviously—so you looked up, and immediately became scared as you saw how cracks were forming on the building’s walls. The shaking became harder, and your previous attempt to balance yourself failed. You fell on the ground.

You were panicking too—except, with wild eyes, you tried to search your brain for anything that you’ve learned from the earthquake drills you attended ever since preschool. Nothing was coming up, you were too distracted by the screams other people were eliciting. And, of course, by the ground shaking. You were just able to remember to go to—

A block of cement fell just a few feet near you. That made you scream. There was smoke everywhere, caused by the fall of the piece of building. You coughed then covered your nose and mouth. With squinting eyes, you looked up and saw the cracks went all the way up, and that your workplace was showing signs of giving up (more like, falling down). You scrambled to get up, and you just followed your instincts by ducking and placing both hands above your head. You tried to hold back your breath to not inhale the smoke. All you can think about is getting away from the falling building but, surprise, buildings surround you and they were all shaking. Despite this, you ran, towards what you consider “away” from it all. You remained on the sidewalk, a bit far from the road, since above the screams were horns of cars hitting and missing each other, of buses screeching to avoid car crashes.

“Oh my god, the world is ending,” you muttered to yourself, your voice shaking. You were starting to lose hope fast, because nowhere is safe.

“Supergirl!” You heard someone scream. You looked up cautiously and, there, up in the sky, you saw Kara flying around, trying to save people… or stop buildings from falling. Your attention was suddenly diverted towards someone moaning near you. You looked around, but you can’t concentrate because a lot of people were running past you. It was doing things with your head.

The shaking stopped. But the noise everyone was causing didn’t. There were lots of cries, hissing of smoke, and loud ringing. The ambulance and police cars can be heard getting near. You once again heard the moan. You looked around. Then you noticed, just at least three to four feet away from you, a car crashed on a telephone pole.

A woman was underneath the slightly raised car. You gasped and started running towards the scene.

“Oh my god, oh my god,” you muttered repeatedly. You were kneeling beside the woman. Your hands were shaking, and they were circling just near the woman. If you weren’t currently in a situation as serious as this, you would have laughed at yourself because it was as if you were trying to heal her with your “miraculous” shaking hands.

“Ma’am, are you okay?” you asked instinctively. “Of course, you’re not. You’re fucking trapped under a car,” you muttered, angry that you were so dumb to ask the question in the first place. “Um… I’m gonna get you help… oh my god, blood,” you exclaimed, when you saw that blood was coming out from her mid-stomach. Her lower half was under the car. You don’t know what was holding the car slightly up. Whatever it is, it was the only thing keeping this woman from death.

You feel like you’re in an episode of Grey’s Anatomy.

You tried to think. Stop the wound from bleeding; you heard Lexie’s voice in your head. You placed both hands on top of the woman’s stomach.

“H-Hurts…” you stared at the woman’s face—it was filled with drying blood—and you just barely managed to throw a sarcastic line at her. This is the reason why you’re not in a humanitarian job like Lexie’s, or Kara’s, or… Maggie’s. You’re better at behind the desk jobs rather than socializing (except when picking informants and interviews) and helping other people.

“Well, I am keeping you alive by stopping the bleeding. I’m gonna call for help—Supergirl!” you bellowed. You honestly don’t recognize yourself right now. Everything’s happening so fast and it’s changing you.

Of course, she wouldn’t come. She may be trapped in keeping a building from falling apart. You looked around. Everyone’s either in the same situation as the woman, or as you.

“Y/n?” You turned to your and looked up and saw Maggie Sawyer. Maggie freaking Sawyer was staring down to you… was that concern in her eyes?

She was wearing her uniform. She doesn’t look like any of the people near you—her face was calm and not single cell in her body was screaming “panicking!”

“Help her.” You were surprised by your voice. She immediately looked at the bleeding woman. She nodded repeatedly and spoke something at her walkie-talkie. The familiar face, even if it’s Maggie Sawyer, makes you want to cry. You don’t know what’s happening with your emotions, they were all messed up.

“Help is coming. Y/n, you’re bleeding.” You frowned at what Maggie said. You’re not. You would feel it if you were. God, why was she so dumb?

“What? I’m not. This woman is. And if help doesn’t come any minute, the car might go down and crush this woman—and my hands.” You heard the tremor in your voice. You don’t know why you’re close to crying, but you are, and you so badly want to go back to your apartment and hide under your covers and stay there until you die. Blood was rushing to your head and you feel hot and all you can think about is how you want to leave because nothing about everything that is happening is right.

You were always so good with keeping your head above drowning problems, or dealing with crisis, but you don’t know why you’re reacting as if you’ve never seen catastrophe hit the city before.

“I’m aware of that. It seems as though you are not aware that your head’s bleeding, as well as your side.” She—Maggie—was kneeling beside you and you didn’t even notice her kneel. You were getting scared of everything she’s saying, simply because you don’t believe her.

“You keep spacing out…” You heard her say. You just frowned. “Let me take over…” Her words were like cut scripts from a malfunctioning TV. You felt something move your hands, and suddenly, Maggie was in your place. You sat on the ground, and just stared at Maggie blankly. What the fuck is happening? You keep trying to focus yourself, but everything was loose. It was as if you’re everywhere.

“It’s a deep cut—hey, Y/n, look at me. Focus on me.” You were trying to locate the cuts Maggie said you had. Your right hand reached that side of your head, and you were refusing to believe that wherever you touch, it was sticky. Sticky with blood. You pulled back your fingers then stared at it. Oh god, blood. Deep, dark, sticky, red blood. You looked down. You saw your shirt ripped, as a gash can be seen in between the rip of the shirt. It looked deep—angry red, but not deep enough to bleed out.

“Y/n, focus on me,” you heard Maggie say once more. Her eyes were fiercely on you, but her hands remained on the woman’s stomach. Your gaze kept shifting from the woman to Maggie, back and forth.

“What happened to me?” You managed to whisper, because you don’t remember pain. You don’t remember being hit by anything. If it weren’t for Maggie, you wouldn’t have known you were even bleeding. There was no pain. Was it from the block of cement that fell near you? It can’t be, because it was far enough…

“Y/n, keep your eyes on me.” You looked at her once more. Maggie. When did you look away again? “Help is coming.” Her words were hard, but they were a bit clouded to you. “Hey, hey, Y/n?” Her words were clear again. “Listen to me. Alex is coming, alright?” You opened your mouth when you heard Lexie’s name, to say something, but you can’t form words. You don’t know what to say.

You swayed, uncontrollably, so you immediately put your left hand on the ground for support.

“Oh god, Y/n. Stay with me. Hey—Hey, Alex is here! There she is! Keep your eyes open—Y/n.” You finally detected panic in Maggie’s words. You’re still in denial that she was talking to you even if you heard your name. Everything felt cold. You felt faint. You’re wondering why you haven’t felt this before. All you wanted to know was what caused this. When did you start bleeding?

Your arm holding you up was shaking, and you chose to concentrate on keeping your consciousness and not listen to Maggie’s annoying voice. You know you’re holding yourself up, but the feeling in your supporting arm went away. You felt light, yet hot and cold at the same time. What was happening? You kept your eyes closed because that’s the only way you can focus. You’re focusing… you’re focusing. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re bleeding and you’re awake. You have to stay awake. That’s what they say in the movies, right? Head injuries are serious. Bleeding is serious. You have to stay awake. Y/n, stay awake.

You felt someone shake you, and you gasped and opened your eyes. You felt the back of your head resting on a pillow, and the bed was moving. Another earthquake? Why were you moving? Wait, why were you in a bed?

Lexie came into your line of vision. The room was dark, robbed off the sunlight you remember before closing your eyes. You close your eyes.

“Y/n, keep your goddamn eyes open.” You opened your eyes and saw Lexie staring down at you and there were tears in her eyes. Why in goddamn’s world is she crying? Wait, oh god you were bleeding.

“Lexie—“ Why was it so hard to speak? “Lexie, I’m bleeding,” you choked out. Why is it hard to speak? Is this it? God, you’re tired. You wanted to close your eyes.

“She’s in shock—“ You heard someone say. Then, you felt a warm hand against your cool right cheek.

“Y/n, stay with me, alright?” The hand was slightly shaking, and so was Lexie’s voice.

“Lex—“ Your tongue kept twisting. “—I’m bleeding,” you muttered, and your eyes were slowly closing. It was slow for you—you actually thought you became cross-eyed for a minute. It was like a lagging laptop shutting down. Or a robot shutting down. Like in the movies.

“I know, Y/n, you are. God, you are. Stay awake for me please?” Was Lexie crying?

Okay, I will. —You’re sure you told her.

[ziasheart]

here's my commentaries on episode 4 🌌

• first of all: i don't know what i was expecting from this episode, but definitely wasn't what it was. and i'm really happy about it (?) 'cause after having watched so many shows and movies (like, a lot, if you guys know what i mean kkkj) throughout the years, i'm kinda used to often find myself easily predicting what's going to happen next. i didn't knew how much i was missing this feeling of being surprised by a path that a story takes, what makes me love EUPHORIA even more now.

• in my opinion, the sequence of Jules's background wasn't so deep as it could have been. it really got me on tears, but at the end i had this feeling that her story was too speeded up and so many information was missing.

• Jules and Nate's scene was SO FREAKING AMAZING!!!! the passive-aggressive tone of it was just breathtaking to me, my expectations of what was going to happen between them would twist back and forth again and again in matter of seconds. LOVED IT.

• Nate's manipulation is so brutal: how he mix massages, disdain and care, hard words, soft ones, so the victim (yeah, i'm talking about Maddy here too) will fear him but not enough to not keep -wrongly- believing on a supposed good, benevolent side of him. i really enjoyed the fact that the writers decided to keep following the psychopath arc with him // and i confess i would have been disappointed by a romantic arc starting between him and Jules instead.

• the way that Jules, even being a very sweet and friendly person, aren't afraid of standing up for herself, being a f*cking badass, so no one will think that they can come around messing with her (yeah Nate, this is for you): ♡♡♡♡

• speaking about romantic arcs: i'm worried about Rue. i really love Jules and i do think she's a great, loving person. but... i think there is a strong possibility that she's actually confusing her feelings to Rue, and can end up hurting her even without bad intentions.

• i love so much how realistic & actual the character's are ─ and how that seems to be extending further than the teenagers ones, to the adults, based on Cal. the way he talks to Mackey at the carnival remembered me of so many men i know, with that same "success driving" mentality and constantly talking about it.

• and what about the reactions?? Rue and Jules freaking out after the whole "buying chili" moment was so realistic! it was just like watching two real best friends on tape.

• so, Cal's behavior when talking to Jules about how her speaking out about their "situation" could ruin his life, etc... i really don't know about that. i think it could, yes, have been a desperate move. but i still have my suspicions about everything having been just an act, a conscious move of him to guarantee safety, to discover in which ground he is stepping with her.

• i really hope they start giving more attention to Lexi's story in the next episodes. that scene when she's left behind when Rue meets Jules at the carnival really broked my heart. i think she will be such an interesting character.

• i'm also so curious about Nate's brother (??) what's up with him?

• about next episode: will be all about abusive relationship, right? i'm super excited for it and simply know that EUPHORIA's won't be coming to play around with the subject. and i think that the 'cops and Cal at school with Nate' scene could be about what Nate done to Maddy's neck and not about Jules (?)

[peytonhudson]

Girls After Dark || Peynah

tagging: @doveporthannah & @peytonhudson

location: hannah’s house

timeframe: Jan 10 midnight-ish. 

warnings: none. 

notes: it’s a sleepover. they’re obviously in their underwear and having pillow fights. 

hannah

Hannah stepped out of her large shower and wrapped herself in a towel, she'd piled her hair on top of her head, figuring it could wait to be washed until tomorrow, before stepping out of her bathroom and into her adjoining bedroom, where Peyton had already started making herself at home. "Is this an open a bottle of wine kind of night, or are you actually tired?" She asked, unfazed by her presence in the room. She crossed over to her dresser and removed the towel, patting the remaining droplets from her arms and legs before throwing on a tshirt and pair of booty shorts.

peyton

Peyton was mid pulling a t-shirt over her head when she heard Hannah’s familiar voice, “Every night is an open a bottle of wine kind of night.” She replies with a slight smile as she climbs on into the same side of the bed she’s slept on for the last eight years. “I’m definitely not tired.” Without Lexi home, and without Puck in her own bed it was apparently far too easy for Peyton to do everything besides sleep. There was a tendency to overthink that came when she was by herself.  Sighing she props herself up on the pillow with her elbow to watch as Hannah got herself ready to join her. “As it turns out, I hate going to sleep by myself these days. Go figure.” She comments with a shrug before pausing and smirking. “Sooo... how was Micah? You’ve seen him twice in two days, that has to mean something.”

hannah

Hearing confirmation that wine was necessary, Hannah stepped out into the kitchen and opened a bottle of red and a couple of mugs, because no one wanted to worry about precarious wine glasses while having a snug-sesh, and brought everything back into the room. "I knew it." She said, setting everything down on the dresser and pouring two generous helpings. "I knew you were going to get all Peyton on me over Micah." She handed Peyton her mug and slipped into the bed next to her with a shrug. "He's just easy, we have good chemistry in bed, he's no frills but always gets me off, and if he's not tired he can get really into what I like." She took a generous sip of her wine. "But there's nothing more than physical there."

peyton

Feigning shock, Peyton takes the mug of wine and sits herself up in the bed just enough to bring the drink to her lips. “I am not going all Peyton on you, that’s not even a thing, thank you very much!” She says jokingly, though with the knowledge she may have had a habit of reading too much into Hannah’s sexual encounters in the past. “But chemistry in bed, can lead to chemistry in... other places. I’m just saying. And Micah is a nice boy.” After taking another,  larger, sip, Peyton places the mug next to her and bites down on her lip for a second as she snakes her arm around Hannah’s shoulders, tugging her in towards her side and squeezing tightly. “I’m not sorry, I haven’t seen you in three weeks, you have to deal with my tight hugs.... Don’t spill your wine on me though, this shirt isn’t technically mine and if it smells like wine it’s going to be hard to return it and pretend like he’s just misplaced it for a few days.”

hannah

"Perhaps if he ever grows up, or at the very least changes his sheets more than once a month, I'd consider it, but until then, he's just a fuck buddy, plain and simple." Hannah leaned into the hug, secretly loving when Peyton got all lovey dovey like this. Though she did clutch her wine mug protectively. "I seriously doubt Puck cares if you have his shirt." She teased. "Speaking of which, enough about my sex life! You're really going to talk to him?"

peyton

Groaning playfully she pulls away from her bestie’s side, “But your sex life is sooo much more exciting than my life at the moment.” Actually always. It’s something Peyton had always admired about Hannah, the way she was so bold and carefree when it came to putting herself out there, while still being one of the most independent and caring people she knew. “Yeah... I’ll talk to him. I just hate talking about that night. And what if bringing everything up again when there’s finally a small resemblance of normality just ruins us all over again?” She admits, hating that a night which was her decision was still something she had to think about. “Would it be weird to just... do it over text?”

hannah

Taking another sip, Hannah nodded. "Peyton, you have to trust him to be able to handle an adult conversation if you ever want to actually be able to move past this. Look at it this way, would you rather constantly have this thing between you, forever, while pretending to feel normal, or would you rather know that you genuinely put yourself out there and fought for him, regardless of the outcome, and have an actual chance at a real, healthy, functional relationship with him." She knew she was slipping into therapist mode, it was a habit she found hard to break unless she was naked. "I think face to face is better, but if you can only handle it through text, then.... at least that's something?"

peyton

After this long, Peyton had accepted that sometimes when she spoke to Hannah she didn’t just have a best friend, she had a therapist. And right now the therapist was actually a welcome addition to the conversation. Sighing, she picks up her mug and takes a few gulps before replying. “Don’t use the word relationship to Puck.” She chuckles sadly, her fingers circling on the side of the cup. “But you’re right. You know, I hate that you’re always right sometimes. I will be an adult and talk to him about it face to face... That way if it gets really bad I’ll just get naked.” Peyton was half joking, but sometimes when it came to serious conversations it paid to really know the other person. “Seriously though... Can you not go away for that long again? It’s like you leaving just causes a domino effect of stress in my life, and talking to you on facetime is just not the same.” Peyton puts the mug back down and frowns a little as she lays down into the bed and rests her head in Hannah’s lap. “Never again, okay? You can have a fantasy threesome here.”

hannah

With a sigh and a smile, Hannah took one more generous sip of wine and put her own mug down, turning her attention to playing with Peyton's hair. "I promise, never again. From now on, a week TOPS, even if I have to fly back and forth to take care of you between holidays." She smiled fondly at Peyton. "What else do you need to tell me about? Something's happening with KJ?" She asked, her finger combing lightly through Peyton's soft hair. She knew how close the other girl was to her brothers, and she knew it must be killing her that KJ was mad at her, no matter the reason. Though she couldn't really think of anything Peyton had ever done to make anyone in her family mad before, so it must have been something big.

peyton

Peyton’s eyes flutter shut as Hannah’s fingers comb lightly through her hair, it was a comfort she felt like she’d needed for three weeks. “I’m going to hold you to that promise.” She responds softly, and eyes squeezing tighter at the mention of her little brother. It was a topic she’d tried not to talk about, even more so than the one with Puck. KJ was her blood and her whole life it had just been her and her brothers. “KJ had... something happen to him.” Peyton begins to tell her, feeling a lump in her throat growing saying the words out loud. “I didn’t know how to cope, so I told someone... I know it wasn’t my story to tell, but he’s my brother, you know? Every time I thought about everything I couldn’t breathe and I needed to breathe again. But KJ doesn’t see it like that, he just sees it as me betraying his trust?” She shrugs. “I don’t know... I have no idea how you deal with other people’s problems all the time. It’s draining.”

hannah

Hannah breathed a laugh at Peyton's last statement. "Well, for one, I don't become emotionally attached to my clients, it's a lot harder when it's someone I love." She kept her hand moving through Peyton's hair. "And as for KJ, I can pretty much guarantee you he's not really mad at you, oftentimes when we are feeling lost or overwhelmed by emotions or situations we can't control, we take it out on the people we love. It's easier for him to be mad at you than at himself, or at whoever actually deserves it, because he knows that no matter what, you will always love him and be there for him. His anger, as misplaced as it is, is his subconscious way of telling you he trusts you with it." She really needed to get ahold on not turning into a therapist with her friends. "Give him some time and a little space, when you feel the time is right, just remind him that you love him, and you're sorry for overstepping a boundary."

peyton

“See, this is just another reason you’re not allowed to leave me.” Peyton turns into her lap to look up at her best friend, quickly wiping the loose tear from her eye. “I clearly can’t function without you.” She tells her with a sad smile and reaches up to bop her nose. There were perks to having someone constantly in her life who knew human emotions much better than she ever could. “Tell me something exciting about your life to make me feel better... And it can’t be about Micah because I already know all about that.”

hannah

"Hey..." Hannah frowned, she knew Peyton had missed her, but the idea of her being so upset, she'd never imagined the other girl needed her this much. Or maybe, she told herself, it just happened to be a rough few weeks and it had nothing to do with you not being around. Either way, she shifted, wrapping her arms around Peyton and pulling her in so her head rested on her chest, Hannah pressed a kiss to the top of her taking, taking in that Peyton smell. "I promise I won't leave for that long again." She said, holding out her pinky so Peyton could take it without moving. Then she sighed, trying to think of something exciting, to her, life was pretty standard. "Well, you know about my holiday threesome, and you know about Micah, and... that's been pretty much it..." She tried to think of maybe something non-sexual. "Oh! Did I tell you one of my cousins lit himself on fire with my Nana's birthday cake?"

peyton

With the kiss to her head, Peyton felt like she could finally relax into the girl’s embrace, all the talk about feelings was done, and with Hannah here she didn’t have to overthink everything. Hannah was, and has been for a long time, her logical voice of reason. “You don’t know this, but there’s a secret recording device in here that i’m going to bring out if you decide to go again.” She joked, extending her pinky to link with her friend’s. She wrapped her arms around her, and settles comfortably into her chest. “Oh my god! Honestly? Really glad it wasn’t your nana. At 102 the last thing she needs is to get lit on her birthday.” Peyton laughed to herself, finding amusement in her own terrible jokes. “Thanks for ditching a boy’s bed for me tonight.”

hannah

Hannah chuckled softly. “And here you are threatening to straight up move away from me.” She teased, giving Peyton’s arms a squeeze. “Trust me, if you added up all of the hair product my Nana has used over the course of her entire 102 years, it still wouldn’t be half as much as this kid had in his hair. You ask me, he had it coming.” She laughed. “But he’s fine! His eyebrow should grow back eventually.” Shaking her head, Hannah opted not to remind Peyton that she had been planning on leaving Micah’s anyways because they did not do sleepovers. “Anytime, babe.” She said instead.

peyton

“Shhh, you’re coming with me, we’ve established that. Give me three to five years to convince you.” She chuckled tiredly. Her head shook against Hannah as she imagined one of the girl’s cousins suddenly with no eyebrows. “When I move to LA I’m determined to meet every single one of your cousins. They’re all stuck with me,” Peyton tells as her eyes start to feel heavy now — possibly from the wine, though more likely as a result of no longer feeling alone. “You know you’re always welcome to crash at my place... if you’re feeling lonely, that is. mi casa es su casa. My shower isn’t as good, but I have the best tub around.”

hannah

Closing her eyes, Hannah just let Peyton relax into her arms, her thumb grazing gently over the soft skin of the girl's arm. "My family will love you as much as I do." She said softly, not mentioning the fact that she had already talked their collective ears off about her best friend, showing them pictures and everything. She rarely felt lonely at night, honestly preferring to sleep alone, but it did make her feel warm and safe that Peyton was willing to offer.

[noahsfreckles]

Keeping Secrets from Strangers (12)

I drive home and I see someone sitting on my steps and then I spot her car. Lexi. I pull into the driveway and grab my Starbucks and Target bag. I get out and she stands up.

"Mia. I um," she starts.

"Not out here. Come inside," I say and she helps me with the door and follows me up to my room.

We get to my room and I drop off my bags on my chair and set my Starbucks on my side table. I turn and look at her, "come in."

She slowly walks over to me, I hug her tightly and we both start crying and apologizing back and forth. We break apart and sit in the bed next to each other.

"I am so sorry, Mia. I should have told you when I figured everything out." 

"Lexi it's okay. I don't know why I took it so hard on you when all you were doing was helping the situation out."

"I'm still sorry."

"I saw them."

"What? Where? Did you talk?"

I shake my head. "I've been in this room all week and I decided today was enough I was going out so I went to get some things at Target and they were there getting shaving cream and they were talking about us."

"What did they say?" She bites her nail.

"Kyle told Noah about you calling him when you were wasted the other night and he stayed with you till you fell asleep."

"Yeah the night was bad," she frowns and looks at me, "Are you okay now?"

I nod and hug her tight. "I love you Lexi."

"I love you too Mia."

"Wanna hear something kinda funny?"

"Yeah."

"Noah stole my phone case I was planning on buying."

"He what?" She looks at me and laughs a little.

"Yeah, when I was spying on them, I left my cart in an aisle and when they walked to the front, I guess Noah saw the case, he asked Kyle if he sees anyone and he didn't cause hiding," I laugh a little, "and he took it cause 'Mia would like this'."

Lexi laughs and says, "I guess it's pay back for stealing his hat. Where is it?" She looks on the side table.

"I um got mad and tossed it on the floor after I found out and it's been there ever since."

Lexi looks behind her and gets up and picks it up, putting it between us. "Have you talked to them or anything?"

I shake my head. "I've tweeted lyrics and emo stuff and posted a pic today but neither of them have said anything to me and I haven't either. Kyle is on a 'socials vacation' and Noah posts tweets and pics like me."

She nods. "Do you think you can forgive them?"

"I think, I can its just hard with Noah. He hurt me so much and I lost my best friend. Well I guess Noah was my best friend but I didn't know. I still miss Jamey."

"Babe, Noah is Jamey."

"I know but I felt like I could be so open with Jamey about stuff, I like him more than a friend and I find out he's not even real. It hurts."

"He does exist. He's just Noah. The guy who you didn't have a crush on and only wanted to be his best friend. Honey, you got best friend and more."

"Yeah, it just hurts."

"He hurting too, don't forget that. He lost his best friend too and his maybe more too."

I frown and look up at Lexi. "He did have one of those three packs of tissues when I saw them."

"He's miserable."

"I saw them a second time today and did something nice so they know I don't totally hate them."

"What did you do?"

"They left Target before I did and we got to Starbucks, I somehow got ahead of them and went first in the drive thru and I paid for them, told Jackie to them it was from pinky."

"Aww you care," she teases.

"Yeah that's my problem."

"Now Kyle."

"What about him?"

"He's obviously next and he can be our spy." She nudges me and laughs.

"I'll talk to him tomorrow. Today is about us."

"Promise?"

"Yes, but I may need some help."

"Always here for you."

"And that's why I love you."

We spend the rest of the night talking about everything. I did get a tweet from both of them on Noah's account for the Starbucks which I appreciated.

💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋

Later the next day, Lexi and I are at Starbucks and she had called Kyle to meet her, I wasn't part of the hanging out. I was going to be there as a surprise to him. She told him to be here at two, so Noah wouldn't be able to come, we were informed that he would be at a meeting.

At two on the dot the door opens and walks in Kyle, a little down but smiles. He looks over at Lexi and then sees me sitting by the wall.

"Do you want me to go? I don't wanna ruin anything."

I move the chair in front of me with my foot towards him, telling him to sit without saying anything. He hesitates but sits down. He looks at Lexi then at me then back at Lexi.

"Lexi has asked you today Kyle to come here because I would like to have you back as my friend," I say and look at him.

"Your friend?"

"I mean I can go back to hating you if that's what you want. Is it?"

"No!" He says a little loud and I giggle a little. "I want you back Mia so bad."

"So bad huh?" I tease and laugh at him.

"Can I hug you?"

I nod and move out of my seat, he moves to grab me and hugs me tight and spins us around.

"Kyle," I start giggling.

"You have no idea how much I missed you," he says and he stop spinning us.

"I think I have some idea."

"I missed you so much. I missed talking to you and teasing you about um, yeah."

"He's not Lord Voldemort, you can say his name, either one of them," I say and look at Kyle.

"Yeah," Kyle says. "He really misses you."

We sit back down so we can talk.

"And I miss him too but he hurt me, so bad Kyle."

"So you don't forgive him?"

"I'm getting closer, I see why he didn't tell me sooner. But it still hurts."

"Okay. I understand. Take all the time you need. Do you want me to not tell him we're friends again?"

"You can tell him I don't mind."

"When did you two make up?"

"Last night she showed up at my house. Honestly," I turn to Lexi, "I don't know if I would have had enough courage to call her, so I'm glad you confronted me." I turn towards Kyle, "but if either of you had done that I would have just left and not talked to you, so don't give him any ideas."

"My mouth is shut," he pretends to zip it.

Lexi and I laugh and shake our heads.

"God I've missed you Kyle," I say and smile at him.

"Do you think you can forgive him by Saturday?"

"What's Saturday?" They both look at me, "what?"

"Valentine's Day," Kyle says.

"Oh."

"Yeah," Lexi says.

"I didn't even notice all the candy on Monday when I was at Target."

"I knew it!" Kyle says scaring us.

"Knew what? And stop being loud," I giggle.

"I knew I saw you and your Jeep."

"Saw me?"

"Yeah, you're not as sneaky as you think and no Noah didn't see you or at least hasn't said anything. You were watching us from the make up aisle. I kept see your ball on your beanie move out of the corner of my eye."

"Damn ball," I say sadly.

"Don't be sad, babe. I knew it was you and didn't wanna make a scene with all of us so I didn't say anything. And when we were going out to Noah's Jeep, I swore you were parked in our same section. When we were at Starbucks, you confirmed it by paying for us."

I look at Kyle and laugh. "I suck at spying."

"Speaking of spying," Lexi says and looks at Kyle.

"Okay I will."

"And we love you for it."

Kyle phone dings and he looks at it and is eyes go wide. "You gotta go Mia!"

"What?"

"Noah says he's on his way here then he's coming to my house."

"He could go through the drive thru...?"

"He hates going through it alone. He's weird."

I laugh. "I'll just go hide in the bathroom like I always do when I hide from guys."

My phone dings and I quickly look at it. "He posted something on IG." I quickly unlock my phone and look. 

                Going to our spot & it hurts so bad. 💔

I groan and show them as I look out the window. "He's here." I quickly run to the restroom without my phone.

I peak out and see them all talking when I see Noah pick up my phone. "Shit," I whisper to myself. I see Lexi look over at the door and bite her lip.

"She's here, isn't she?" I hear Noah say. I bite my lip and look at Lexi and shake my head no.

She looks away from me and says, "yes."

"She hates me so much, shes hiding from me. Wow, I'm just gonna go so she can come out and keep on hating me."  He walks over to the counter,  grabs a water from the cooler and pays and leaves. He doesn't say bye to Lexi or Kyle, he just leaves.

I slowly make my way out and sit down by Lexi and look at her and start crying. She hugs me automatically and Kyle comes over and hugs me too. "I-I-I don't hate him it just hurts so much."

"We know honey," Kyle says and hugs me tighter. He slowly pulls away, "I better go and make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."

"Okay. I don't hate him. You can tell him, you know if you want to."

"I'll let him know. And think about Valentine's Day."

I nod and move away from Lexi to hug him when he stands up. "You're a great friend, Kyle don't ever forget that."

"You are too Mia. Try to feel better," he kisses my cheek and I smile. "Bye."

He walks away and goes out to his car to find Noah.

"That could have gone a lot worse," I say after Kyle leaves.

"Yeah, he could have confronted you in the restrooms," Lexi says and I laugh.

"Awkward."

Lexi smirks and I laugh.

"Let's leave dork."

We head out and go back to my house for a little while until Lexi goes home.

[keeloves]

MY Top 10 Worst Male Characters

 Keep in mind this just my personal opinion! I would love to hear your thoughts but please keep them civil and respectful. Kicking off the list at number 10

10 Jake Salt (Famous in Love)

Don’t get me wrong he is super cute/hot but ugh he freaking irks me! First of all he treats girls like crap, he is emotionally needy and as Paige put “Nothing is ever his fault” He slept with Lexi to try and get his script published into a movie. He slept with her for several days and when once he realized that wasn’t happening he got pissed off blamed her and then he ghosted Lexi. Yeah, I know what an asshole. He confesses his “love” for Paige at a press conference right after Rainer had a severe melt down. Then once he gets with Paige he treats her like crap and is emotionally abusive. He doesn’t move into the house she bought, he didn’t stick up for her when she said no to shots but instead helped pressured her into doing shots of tequila and she ended up getting so drunk that she ended up missing her screen test and he didn’t defend her when she was being ripped to shreds by a producer guy. Skip to like 5:28 and watch until 7:16. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYMVnvjcfpY&t=7s This video was made by my dear friend @disneyfanforever3 This clip pretty much sums up why I can’t stand Jake. I am so happy Paige called him out on his bullshit.

9. Sinbad (Sinbad from Legends of the Seven Seas) 

First of all he doesn’t deserve to have this movie named after him because he is a terrible protagonist. He speaks disrespectfully to women, and just ugh! He is okay letting his friend Proteus die for a crime he did not commit and and Sinbad would run off to Fiji fully knowing his friend Proteus that he has known since CHILDHOOD would be dead as long as he can run off to Fiji. Proteus said to Sinbad while taking his place “I know you would do the same for me” and Sinbad’s reply is “No I wouldn’t” like ugh dude you aren’t that loyal! So Marina is the real hero of the movie. In fact I go a little more into detail on why I hate Sinbad. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhD6mbhLJpY&lc=z23iz1vpsv3kyla3xacdp430q55un5sqk3m3zmlonvhw03c010c

8.Oliver Queen (Arrow)

I have ranted on him several times so I will try to keep this brief! He is a womanizing manwhore. He serial cheated on his girlfriend Laurel with basically every woman including her sister Sara. He did nothing to make the situation better. This pic I used of him is him flirting with Sara at the Lance family dinner and this is the moment where I wanted to punch him in the face! Ugh god he is the worst. He cheated so much that he fathered a child. He abandon Thea after she got out of the Lazurus pit all so he could play house with Felicity and he constantly goes back and forth on his no kill rule. Oh and this Oliver is a knock off version of Bruce Wayne and he is a complete 180 of who he should be.

7. Mon El (Supergirl)

I hate Mon El so much! He lied to Kara about who he was on Daxam yes I know Kara was judgmental at first but Mon El just planned to keep her in the dark the entire time of their relationship. He owned slaves and did nothing to correct the issue he just chose to stay with Kara. He called Kara his kryptonite which is something that can kill her literally so bleh! He disrespected Kara at every moment she tried to help him. He beat up another Aileen for money and he is so selfish. In fact how here is Kara chewing out Mon El’s ass out! Its very satisfying like “Paige Townsen Nothing’s ever your fault speech to Jake.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnHZInGzQ4w

6. Moses Puloki Dance Teacher (Lilo and Stitch)

A while back I made a list of my most annoying cartoon characters and he is number one on the most annoying cartoon characters list. I put him on this list because he is an adult who lets Mrytle get away with bullying Lilo. He sees it happening before his very eyes and he does nothing to stop it and instead it always Lilo’s fault. He never asks for Lilo’s side of the story and he just assumes Lilo is at fault when she beats up Mrytle. At least that is how it feels. I have never once seen him say anything to Mrytle or her possy that follow her around. To me he is my least favorite character from Lilo and Stitch and it makes me wonder why he is a teacher in the first place.

5. Thomas Humprey aka Humps (Orange is the New Black

He is an abliest piece of shit. He caused a fight all for a stupid bet. He gas lit Suzanne Warren aka Crazy Eyes and she said repeatitly she didn’t want to fight. The other gaurds are terrible because they went along with is bullshit and because of him this Suzanne beat the hell out of this other woman who also appeared to be mentally unstable because the other woman was insulting Suzanne. Suzanne beat up this other woman so much that this girl was bleeding and her face was bruised up. Two other inmates had to get Suzanne off of this other inmate. Yet all Humps did was laugh and said “Well I just made $20 bucks” Suzanne is left to cry and feel ashamed for something he started! He is so terrible he makes Pornstache look like a saint.

4. Pablo Money (Famous in Love)

He is emotionally and phyically abusive He stole Jordan’s IPad and accused Tangey of cheating. He treats Tangey like an object to be had and he kicked the door of the room where Tangey was hiding. He is possessive,manipulative and ugh! I also put him on the list because he treats my favorite character on the show like shit.

3. Every Itteration of Harrison Wells (The Flash)

I have gone on ar ant about why I hate this character so I will kep this brief as I can. The only Wells I will put up with are The original Earth 1 Wells Eowells (Season1) and Harry Wells. This character is boring, he is played out and he is just there to take up space and be a boring whtie character that Cisco has to play glorified baby sitter too. EoWells is terrible because he killed Barry’s mom, he killed Cisco and when Cisco remembers EoWells laughs in his face. Harry is awful, he faked an illness to guilt Wally into not moving in with Jesse knowing full Well that is how Francine West (Wally and Iris’s mother) died. He chokes Cisco, he also breaks Cisco’s things and never offers to fix them and he is just an ass wipe. The rest of the Wells are annoying because we don’t need anymore Wells and Sherloque Wells has annoying accent.

2. Ezra Fitz (Pretty Little Liars)

I have also ranted on him a lot as well so bare with me. He stalked teenage girls, he got with Aria knowing full well she was going to be his student and knowing she was underage. He framed Spencer for something she didn’t do and because she was on to him. He stole her files and gave it to Aria which by the way is illegal to do. Then again what does this man care about what law he breaks he is all ready guilty of statutory rape, stalking and violating privacy. He hooked up with Alison and he should have gone to prison but instead he gets to live happily ever after with Aria. He ends up marrying Aria. Yeap that’s right folks he married the girl he groomed and stalked and manipulated. He even trapped her on a Ferris wheel. 

1. Damon Salvotore (The Vampier

Ugh just thinking about him makes nauseated. He is abusive, manipulative and he ruined hi brother’s life and stole his girl and he is part of the reason why I have a hard time getting into the show. Damon is a serial rapist and serial killer. He raped Caroline, fed off of her and terrified her. He kills people Elena cares about just because she isn’t giving him what he wants. Man if Damon wants something he better get it now or else. I bet he is terrible in bed because three girls have bragged about how good Stephan is in bed and Damon only brags about himself. I say he is terrible because if he wasn’t he wouldn’t have to compel girls to sleep with him. He killed a pregnant woman this means he also killed a baby. He has no remorse for any of these things and he just relies on Elena to change him. The only time I can deal with him is when he is around Bonnie! Ugh I hate this character! He needs to trade places with Stephan and now the fact that Delena have kids together make me want to throw up my insides because it makes my skin crawl knowing Damon would father a child. Plus I think Ian Somerholder though he seems nice is not all that great of an actor.

[mldrgrl]

Do you take prompts? I have this idea rattling around in my brain and you are one of my favorite fanfic writers so here goes. Its a season 8 finale AU where Mulder and Scully raise William. William is going to his senior prom and Scully teaches him how to dance. Mulder watches from a distance, they don't know he's watching them, and then after a while Mulder comes over to "cut in".

Yes, I do take prompts.  My vision went a little differently from yours, but I hope it’s still what you want!  I set it in my Little Will universe because it could slide in there pretty easily after They Grow Up So Fast.  (And, in all honestly, will probably make more sense if you read that first)

Title: How’s About a DanceAuthor: mldrgrlRating: PGSummary: see above :D

One of the most exasperating ways that Will was like his mother, Mulder decided, was his habit of not saying anything when there was a lot to say.  Like Scully, he had this habit of evading topics and trying to make his poor father guess at what he was thinking.  But, after eleven years of being the kid’s father, and almost twenty at being Scully’s partner, he’d finally picked up a few tricks.

Number one, neither of them could stand being ignored.  When they said “I’m fine,” needling or arguing about it got him nowhere.  Shrugging his shoulders and feigning disinterest could open the floodgates.

Number two, do not ask direct questions.  Don’t ever ask what’s wrong, don’t ever ask for more information.  Wait for them to start, pepper the conversation with things like “oh?” or “yeah?”  Simple, one-word responses kept things going.

Number three, and this one was tricky, do not offer advice without being asked.  Nothing could shut down a conversation faster than a well-meaning “maybe you should…”

And so, Mulder was pretty well-prepared when Will came poking around in his office, pretending to quietly browse the books on the shelves while casting less-than-furtive glances in his dad’s direction.  Mulder continued working on his article and ignored his son.  He wasn’t really ignoring him though.  In fact, he’d typed the same sentence more than once because he couldn’t really focus knowing something was wrong and not knowing what it was.

“Whatcha workin’ on?” Will asked.

“New article on the myths of the Salem witch trials,” Mulder answered.

“Cool.”  Will nodded and ran his index finger along the side edge of Mulder’s desk.  “Can we go to Salem one day?”

“Sure.”

“Cool.  Oh hey, I got a 95 on my vocab test.”

“What’d you miss?”

“Utmost versus upmost.”

“Thought you knew that one.”

“I did, until both sentences made total sense.

“You can’t ace ‘em all, pal.”

Will sighed.  “Ruined my streak though, which really pi…ticks me off.”

“Yeah, I hear ya.”

Will turned and ran his finger the opposite way along Mulder’s desk.  Missing a question or two on a test always annoyed Will, but Mulder knew that wasn’t the problem.  He typed some more and then studied his scribblings on one of his notepads.  

“So, um,” Will said.  “Sixth grade is kinda different.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, you know, the different classes and stuff.  All the different teachers.”

“Sure.”  Mulder nodded, glanced at Will, and then flipped the page over on his notepad.  Now, they were getting somewhere.  Something to do with school, maybe a teacher, maybe a bully, but definitely school.

“And they do stuff, you know, like dances and stuff.”

Aha!  “Yeah, I remember those.”

“Do you?”

Mulder looked at Will over the top of his glasses.  “I’m not that old, son.”

“I mean, I didn’t know you had dances in school.  You never said.”

“Guess I didn’t think about it.”

“Oh.”  Will chewed on his bottom lip for a moment, the same way his mother did when she was trying to formulate a thought.

Mulder itched to ask him to elaborate.  He missed the days when he could pull the boy onto his lap and tickle the trouble away.  Growing up was a bittersweet thing.  As much as he loved seeing his son mature, he also missed the silly, cuddly little toddler he once was.  And the days where the most complicated problem to solve was a broken crayon.

The conversation stalled, so Mulder took a chance.  “When is it?” he asked.

“When is what?”

“The dance.”

“Oh.  Um, next Friday.”

“Well, if you need me to sign a permission slip to attend, I’ll sign it.  As long as your homework’s done.”

“Da-ad.”  Will rolled his eyes a little.

“What?”

“I always do my homework.”

“I know you do.”

There was a lull in the conversation again, but Mulder felt more confident there was more to come and he wouldn’t have to prompt Will any further.  Sure enough, the silence that followed was short-lived.

“I’m gonna ask Lexi to go with me,” Will blurted out, his voice a little higher than normal.  

All things considered, Mulder’s first thought was that he deserved an award for keeping the expression on his face so neutral.  He was both laughing and crying inside, but he couldn’t let it show.  He bobbed his head a little awkwardly for a few moments and had to clear his throat before his voice would work.

“That’s great, buddy.”

“I mean, you know…”  Will dropped his eyes and scratched at the corner of Mulder’s desk.  “Some of the guys think it’s kind of lame.”

Cody Prescott, probably, Mulder thought.  With his fucking bowtie.  “Well, what do you think?” he asked.

Will chewed his lip again and Scully’s look of distress came over his face.  “It’s just that, I don’t know how to dance, you know?  I don’t want to look stupid and I don’t want Lexi to think I’m lame.”

“Oh.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t go.”

“Come on, come with me.”  

Mulder pulled his glasses off, threw his notepad down on his desk and stood.  He put his hand on Will’s shoulder and steered him out the door towards the living room.  When he’d gone into his office that morning, Scully had been engrossed with something on her tablet as she lounged on the couch.  She was still there, still engrossed, but she looked up when Mulder and Will shuffled in.

“We need you,” Mulder said, holding his hand out to his wife and beckoning her up from the couch.

“I told you,” she said, batting his hand away.  “You’re on your own for lunch, I’ll broil the salmon for dinner.”

“It’s not about lunch.”

“Is this a trick?”  She shot a skeptical eyebrow up and looked from Mulder to Will.

Mulder grabbed her hand and gave it a tug.  “Get over here, Scully.”

Scully let Mulder pull her to her feet.  He locked their fingers together and held her hand up high by her shoulder before he set his other hand on her hip and walked her backwards, away from the couch.

“First lesson, Will,” Mulder said.  “Never look at your feet.  You look at your feet, it’s over.”

“What are we doing?” Scully asked.

“The boy wonder over there is in need of some dance lessons.”

“Why is he in need of dance lessons?”

“He has a dance to go to.”

“A dance?”  Scully tried to break free from Mulder, but he squeezed her hand and pulled her closer, shaking his head a little.

“Watch and learn, junior.”

Mulder swayed Scully slowly.  She was distracted, trying to look past him at Will, but he would purposefully shift and block her view.  Finally, he took his hand off her hip and brushed a curled finger under her chin to get her attention.

“Don’t look at your feet,” Mulder reiterated.  “Keep your eyes on your partner.  It’ll help you not to get tripped up and the view is much nicer.”

Scully rolled her eyes, but fortunately her back was to Will.  Mulder winked at him and danced them back away from the couch, then forward again.

“Your job is to lead and trust her to follow,” Mulder said, dancing them closer to Will.

Will had his bottom lip caught between his teeth, the tip of his tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth in concentration as he watched his father’s feet.  His arm was slightly up, wrist tipped back and fingers spread and curved like he was holding an invisible hand.  He shuffled back and forth with small steps next to the couch, moving without going anywhere.  Mulder let go of Scully’s hip and turned her away from him.  When his arm cleared her head and she was facing Will, he released her hand and stepped away.

“Your turn, buddy,” Mulder said.

“What?” Will asked, blinking up at Mulder.

“Can’t learn without trying.  Dance with your mom.”

“Da-ad.”  Will’s cheeks darkened with embarrassment.

“Hey,” Scully said, putting her hand up for Will to take.  “I happen to be an excellent partner.”

“She is,” Mulder agreed.  “The best of the best.  How can you dance with Lexi if you can’t even dance with mom?”

“Lexi!”  Scully smiled broadly as Will ducked his head.  “Did you ask Lexi to the dance?”

“Yeah,” Will mumbled.  “You don’t have to make a big deal about it.”

“No one’s making a big deal about anything,” Mulder said, shaking his head at Scully in warning.  He took Will’s hand and put it on Scully’s hip and brought Scully’s hand to Will’s shoulder.  The boy was still slightly smaller than Scully by about two inches, but he had Mulder’s lankiness which implied he was going to shoot up soon.

“Now what?”  Will’s arms were stiff and straight.  He was standing too far from Scully, but he looked wary of moving closer.

“Relax,” Mulder said, shaking Will’s arms from behind him to loosen him up.  When that didn’t work, he tickled his sides, which caused him to break apart and laugh.  He drew his arms into his sides to protect himself from the assault and Mulder hugged him from behind for a brief moment and patted his arms.

Scully cleared her throat, arms still in a dance frame.  “I believe I’m owed a dance here.”

Will put his hand back on Scully’s hip and laced his fingers with hers.  He was much more relaxed the second time around and not so stiff.

“Do I have to get all close and stuff?” Will asked.

“No,” Mulder said.  “You can dance closer when you’re…taller.”

Scully chuckled.  

“Do I step forward or backward?” Will asked.

“Try forward to start with,” Mulder answered.  “Remember, look at your partner, not at your feet.  Lead with your eyes.  Be confident.”

Will hesitantly moved his feet, second-guessing every step he took.  Scully tried to follow his lead, but it didn’t work so well when he didn’t know where he was going.  They stepped on each other’s feet several times and Will kept apologizing, his cheeks growing pinker by the second.  

“I suck at this,” Will declared.

“It’s your first dance,” Mulder said.  “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“You’re doing great,” Scully added, laughing when Will tripped into her before she even finished the compliment.

Will laughed along with Scully, giving up on letting his stumbles bother him.  They more they both laughed, the less he messed up.  He finally grinned when a full minute passed without him stepping on one of Scully’s feet.

“I think I can do it!” Will cried.

Mulder tapped on his son’s shoulder.  “May I cut in?” he asked.

“That means you want to dance with mom too, right?”

“Sure does.”

Wil stopped, but his brows came together as he let Scully’s hand go.  “If some guy asks if he can cut in and you don’t want him to, what do you say?”

“Depends on how good your aim is,” Mulder answered.

“Mulder!” Scully scolded, smacking him on the arm as he wrapped them around her waist.  She turned to Will even as she swayed in Mulder’s arms.  “The best thing to do would be to ask your partner if she minds.  Leave it up to her.”

“What if she says okay?”

“Cut back in on the next one,” Mulder said.  “Pray that the other guy has two left feet.”

“I’m gonna go practice.”  Will put his arms up and danced his way out of the room.

“Lexi?” Scully asked when Will was out of earshot.  “He asked her?  She said yes?”

“Seems so.”

“Hm.”  

“Something wrong?”

“Well, you know, I don’t want it to ruin their friendship.”

Mulder groaned.  “Where have I heard that argument before?”

“It’s important to think about.”

“It’s a school dance.  Besides, you know, Mulder men like the slow burn.  We only make moves every seven years.”

Scully tipped her head back and her brows lifted.  “Are you insinuating that you made the first move?”

“You were just picking up on all the signals I was sending.”

“Sure.”

“How are you feeling?”

Scully moved a hand down to her abdomen and splayed her fingers over the small bump low on her belly that had only recently begun to show.  “Not as queasy as I was this morning.  The crackers helped.”

“Mm.”  Mulder put his hand over Scully’s and leaned down to rest his forehead against hers.

“I think we should tell Will after the next appointment.”

“That’s the ultrasound?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

“Don’t wait until this one’s ready for his or her first school dance to do this again, okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s been awhile since we’ve done this.”

Mulder curled his fingers through Scully’s and brought her hand up to kiss the underside of her wrist.  She laid her head against his chest and closed her eyes as they continued to dance.

The End

[lokirogersgirl]

Happiest Fucking Man

Characters: Negan x Reader

Summary: The reader is pregnant, but she gets into a fight with Negan. Causing her to question if she should tell him.

Warnings: Language, angst, fluff, sadness, regret, all that fun stuff :)

“Does he know about the baby?” My best friend Lexie whispered.

I closed my eyes, shaking my head. “No.. God, I don’t know what to do. Do I tell him? What if he hates me Lex?” She chuckled sarcastically, “Are you kidding? That man is madly in love with you! You saw how he was when he saw you talking to Simon! He freaked the fuck out.” I sighed, rubbing my temples.

I sat with Lexie in our room, she was sitting and drawing something on a notepad. I sat across from her, rocking back and forth with shaky hands. The loud pounding on the door scared me, causing me to gasp quietly.

“Oh doll! You in there, hun?” Negan’s velvet voice spoke.

I looked up at Lexie, my eyes wide. “What do I say?” I mouthed to her frantically. She shrugged and motioned to go to the door. I stood up, slowly walking over to the door. I took a deep breath and opened the door. He graced me with a toothy grin, I gave him a half smile. He furrowed his brows, “Not excited to see me?”

I looked down, shaking my head. “No, no. I missed you.” He smirked, grabbing my hand and pulling me against him. He leaned close, tipping my head up with his thumb he pressed a passion fueled kiss to my lips. I kissed him back eagerly, the nerves going away with every second.

“C’mere doll, I got somethin’ to  fuckin’ talk to ya’ about.” He whispered in my ear. Looking back at Lexie once more, she gave me a thumbs up and winked. I turned back and followed Negan back to his room. When we got inside he asked me to sit down. I could tell trouble was brewing, and I’d be a liar if I said it wasn’t scaring me. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear.

He cleared his throat uncomfortably, looking down. “So.. I know this is gonna be fuckin’ hard as shit, but It’s gotta happen.” I looked up, completely dumbfounded. “What’s gotta happen?” He stalled, looking around the room. “I gotta go sweetheart.” I raised an eyebrow, standing up. “Go where, Negan.” My tone was one he recognized. Disappointment. Anger. Resentment.

“Simon and I gotta go on a stupid fuckin’ run. It’s about a week.. Or two..” My blood boiled at his statement. “No.”  I said. “I’m fuckin’ sorry, doll. I have to-”

“NO. No, Negan! I am not doing this shit with you again. I can’t. Not again.” My voice cracked, I looked at my stomach. I could tell he was getting angry as he scoffed. “You don’t get a fucking say in the matter, sugar.” I chuckled angrily, “Oh really? Negan you're not fucking leaving. I’m not gonna say it again.” My voice was getting louder by the second.

“Oh my fucking- Jesus, Y/N! Stop being such a fucking bitch! I am leaving, that's the end of it.” He snapped at me. I could feel the venom from his words shoot right into my chest. Tears welled up in my eyes. My hands shook in fear and anger.

Last time Negan went on a run he came back with a gunshot in his shoulder from Rick. He promised he wouldn’t leave me again, and he wouldn’t get hurt. I asked him to not go on runs anymore, and he promised. He promised me.

“You.. You made a fucking promise Negan! You said it yourself, you’re a man of your word.” He bit his lip, his persona breaking for a moment before coming back. “Yah well, I guess you don’t always get what you want, princess.” I broke down in tears, sitting back down on his bed.

His eyes scanned my shaking frame. My heart shattered at the sound of the door opening, then being slammed shut. I layed in his bed, holding his pillow close to my body. I wasn’t angry at him, I was angry that I have to constantly wonder if he’s alive. That was the hard part. I put my hand on my stomach, sniffling. Maybe he didn’t need to know, and just maybe when he got back I wouldn’t be waiting for him.

A week and a half later he came back. The sound of his booming voice broke through the silence of the cafeteria. Upon his arrival I stood up and walked out. He locked eyes with me. “No welcome back hug, sugar?” He sneered. “Fuck you, Negan.” I blatantly replied back. Gasps erupted throughout the room. I didn’t care anymore.

I had an appointment with Carson later that day to check on the baby and make sure I was healthy. He told me everything was fine, and I was already at about a month. Luckily for me, I wasn’t showing just yet, but he said in the coming weeks I would be. I smiled, thanking him. He knew the situation between Negan and I, and he didn’t question my reasoning for not telling him.

I left the examination room, walking down to the dorm I shared with Lexie. I walked in and gasped as I saw Negan sitting down at the desk, his head in his hands. I looked at him, confused. “Negan..?” I asked with a quiet voice, not wanting to startle him. He looked up, and I couldn’t tell if he looked angry or hurt. Probably a bit of both.

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” His tone gave away the hurt and betrayal he was feeling at the moment. “Tell you what?” I hoped he wasn’t talking about the baby.. He got up, throwing the desk lamp against the wall, the glass breaking. I jumped at his outburst, backing away carefully. “The baby, Y/N! My fucking kid! That you didn’t tell me about! How could you fucking do that to me? Just let me leave like that?”

I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I paused, collecting my thoughts. “Negan you left, because you wanted to. Nobody forced you to go, but you did. You made that choice. I was fucking excited to tell you. I was going to. YOU, made me choose not to. That is your fault. Do not try and make me out to be the bad guy.”

He laughed, “Oh please! You fucking knew I would have stayed, but no. You thought I didn’t deserve to know you are carrying MY fucking kid! This isn’t just some small shit, this is a fucking child!” I yelled back at him, “Your kid? This is OUR fucking kid. Don’t ever think otherwise either! And of course I didn’t think you deserved to know! Look at you Negan! You’re a fucking mess! Something doesn’t go your way and you freak the fuck out!”

He growled, “Fuck you. You fucking knew I had a right to know. I could have fucking been there with you! I would have been there!” I looked down, placing a hand on my stomach. He was right. I felt guilt flood my system at his comment. It was true, he would have stayed.

I started crying once again, tears slipping down my cheeks and onto my t-shirt. “I-.. You’re right.” He looked at me, tilting his head. “I never.. I never should have fucking. God. I’m so fucking stupid. I fucking ruined everything. Jesus..” I rested my hands on the bedside table. I sat down on the bed, trying to catch my shaky breaths.

The tears soon turned into waterfalls, I repeated broken apologies over and over, hoping he would forgive me. He sat down next to me, pulling me into his lap. I wrapped my arms tightly around him, not letting him leave. “I’m so fucking sorry…” He nodded, kissing my head. “I know, honey. I’m sorry for being such an ignorant fuck. I should’ve known there was something wrong.”

He held me, whispering to me all the things he wanted to do with the baby. I closed my eyes, burying my head in his shoulder, listening to his words was peaceful to me. “Don’t leave me again please.” I pleaded with him, he kissed my neck gently. “I’m here doll, I’m not leaving again.” I nodded, inhaling the scent of his leather jacket.

“We’ll be okay right? Me, you.. And the baby?” I asked softly.

He nodded, “Me, you, and the baby are going to be fucking perfect.. Thank you, Y/N.”

I looked up, “For what?”

“For making me the happiest fucking man in the world. I love you, my beautiful girl.”

[burnwme]

Bad January Day

Possible tw?- Short descriptions of Lexie's flashbacks involving her PTSD due to Ordin.

I laid there on my side listening to the beeping of Zeke’s alarm with one leg draped over his hip as his grease-printed hand held the back of my lower thigh firmly enough to keep it there, to keep me from wiggling down in my sleep. The other hand was wrapped around my back, holding me close. My head was nuzzled into the little bridge in his neck. The hand on my thigh moved while the one around my back tightened, holding me to him to prevent from crushing me as he leaned forward. I heard a tap then the beeping stop, the alarm was off. Thank god. Now that he was done with the alarm he leaned back and moved into our previous position. “Lexie” He nudged. “Hmmm?” I responded. “C'mon we gotta get up Baby.” I groaned. It was comfy here, I wanted to stay. “Can we just stay?” I asked, considering giving him pouty eyes but that would mean moving. I decided against it but immediately regretted it as unwrapped himself from me and sat up and moved away, making sure not to loom. Ugh. I rolled onto my back, eyes still closed. “Why can’t we just stay?” I whined. I felt the weight on the side of the bed lift and peeked one eye open to see him, just in his boxers, grabbing his shirt and throwing it on, covering his back muscles. This morning just keeps getting ruined, I groaned again. I closed my eyes and rolled over, and went back to bed. I heard more rustling as I quickly drifted off.

I felt a nudge on my shoulder and knew it was Zeke trying to wake me again. I turned onto my side and ignored him. “Lexie, get up you’re going to be late.” “Good” I mumbled back, not really caring. I heard a sigh “What will you tell Rory?” I groaned as I rolled over onto my back, opening my eyes to see a very tall Zeke standing next to me, too tall. Normally it’d be fine but I'd been on edge lately, it was January again after all. I saw flashes of a man over me, Clay. It skipped to his hands on me, snow, a forest. Then it skipped back to him over me, I pushed it away. “Back up” I let out, my breathing fast. Zeke obeyed immediately then proceeded to drop to his knees and scoot closer to me again, knowing his height was the problem. He touched my cheek, “Are you here with me Baby?” I nodded, the remnants of the flashback was there. The panic feeling, the urge to scrub my skin to shreds amongst other things but the flashback itself was gone. I opened my eyes and turned my head to look at him. “I’m here.” His eyes wandered over my face, worried. I sat up “Zeke, I’m okay, really.” He nodded and looked away but he still seemed upset. I immediately knew it was at himself, that’s how Zeke was. I turned my body to face him, “Zeke look at me.” He looked up at me. “We’re gonna need to be more careful, all of us. Normally that distance would’ve been fine, we both know that. But the one year is coming up and it's getting to me which means bigger limits. You didn’t know Tough Guy we needed more space, so don’t go doing that blame yourself thing on me. Okay?” I could see the shadows in his eyes lift some as processed. “Okay.” He replied, his voice still deeper from sleep.

I sat up, my body feeling entirely too heavy. I remember this feeling. I remembered what came along with it too. The forcing myself to get out of bed and crying as I did so because it was just so hard. I remember the thoughts blaming myself for being so weak as to not be able to lift my own body out of bed. I remember the occasional times the guys would see me like that in the morning after it first happened, I remember the way they comforted me and tried to help even if it just meant Asher brushing my hair or Isaac helping me pick out my clothes because I didn’t have the energy to walk over to my closet or Ethan holding me close as I cried into him. I hoped it wasn’t this bad, I really did because as much as staying in bed sounded nice the idea of being confined to it due to lack of drive sounded horrible. I didn’t want to go back to where I was last year. I don’t want to rot in my bed, I don’t want to fear the outside world, I don’t want the constant flashbacks, I don’t want any of it. But I could already feel it happening. The heavy body in the morning, the cancelling plans to stay inside because it is just too overwhelming or the easier triggers. I knew they noticed too. I didn’t want them to be worried about me. I can manage on my own, although I know I don’t have to, I just- I guess I don’t want to cause them any kind of heartache or anxiety even though I know I could use their help through it, if it wasn’t for them last year I probably wouldn’t have gotten through it.

I pushed myself to stand up despite feeling this invisible weight on my shoulders just holding me down. I looked down at Zeke kneeling by the bed “I’m gonna get ready.” then turned back, put on shorts that I'd left on the floor last night, leaving me in them and my tank top then left the room walking towards the living room to grab my bag, yawning. I turned into the leaving room and leaned over the back of the couch to grab my bag. As I was leaning back up I heard a familiar voice right behind me say “Goodmorning.” then a kiss on my shoulder. Despite the warning I still jumped. God, I was on edge this morning. I turned around to see Miles’ with a concerned look in his eyes behind his glasses. I smiled at him. “Morning.” I slung my backpack around my shoulder and began to walk away hoping to avoid the conversation I was sensing was about to happen. I didn’t want to talk about it nor did I want them to worry. “Lexie?” He called. I stopped, silently cursing. “Yeah?” I asked, back still turned. “Are you okay?” I turned to him “I’m okay Miles. It’s just-” He interrupted me “bothering you more than usual?” I nodded. “I’m gonna go get ready” I turned around and headed down the hall towards the bathroom.

As I went to change I felt that weight on me again, I breathed trying to gain the motivation to do it. It didn’t go away. Crap. I decided to just push forward. Pulling down my shorts I bent down and unzipped my bag then grabbed my jeans out. I tried to put them on and as I did I began to tear up. This was way too hard than it should've been. It felt like my bones were rusted and everything I did took all the effort in the world when I had little motivation to even try. I took a breath and finished putting my jeans on. My mind began to reprimand me about how pathetic it was to almost cry putting some fucking jeans on before I took a deep breath and shut it out again, reminding myself that sometimes when you’re struggling it takes all you’re energy to just get by. I collected myself again before pulling off my tanktop and replacing it with a bra, while feeling entirely too drained and holding back tears from the effort. I pulled out my shirt while reminding myself about my responsibilities, I pulled on my shirt as a tear slipped. Fuck. I went to wipe it but it wouldn’t stop. I sat down on the bathroom floor trying to pull myself together so I could continue getting ready. I sat there silently crying, taking deep shaky breaths. Then I began having flashes again. I saw my old boots standing in snow with a hand that belonged to Ordin wrapped around my thigh. I pushed it away and began to focus on staying here and now using grounding techniques like naming 5,4,3,2,1 of things around me that related to each sense.

I must’ve taken too long because I heard Zeke outside the door telling me “Lexie you’re gonna be late.” I didn’t respond, he’d know that I was crying by my voice. He must’ve not liked my silence because he spoke again “Lexie are you okay in there?” Well, I couldn’t just not say anything. He’d come in here worried and see I was crying, I had a better chance with hoping my voice didn’t crack. “Yeah” my voice cracked. Shit. “Bullshit.” He called through the door. I chuckled slightly as I wiped snot from my nose. “Can I come in?” He asked softly. “Yeah” I replied. I turned my head to look at the door as it creaked open slowly. A broad shoulder peaked though followed by the rest of his body. He looked briefly for me then sat across from me leaning on the bathtub behind him as he saw me on the ground, knowing that his height with me sitting in such a small space wouldn’t be good for me. I looked up at him and watched as he frowned at the tears running down my face. I wiped them, wanting them to stop, they didn’t. At least I wasn’t sobbing. “C’mere baby.” He told me, probably because he knew touch always made me feel better. I semi- got up onto my knees and sort of crawled to him on just my knees. As I got to him he motioned for me to sit in the space in between his knees, I did and leaned against his chest. “This okay?” His rough morning voice asked me. I nodded. He wrapped his arms around me holding me closer. “Is there anything I can do- or that any of us can do?” He said as his thumb went back and forth on my arm in a comforting motion. I took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears “No just be here.” He nodded. “We don’t have to go to school. Why don’t we stay here? I’m sure Rory will understand. We can turn on some shitty zombie movies with some popcorn. “ I smiled, that sounded nice. “Okay” my voice cracked again. He moved his hand and wiped my tears. “C,mon stop that baby, I’ve got you.” I gave a small laugh, he hated when I cried but he’d never let me be alone when I did. I leaned further back against him, savoring this loving warmth surrounding me, trying to stop crying again. It worked, thank god. I wiped my face again, getting rid of all the wetness and snot. I sat up straighter and turned around to face him. I smiled up at him before getting up on my knees and wrapping my arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me back. “Thank you” I mumbled into his neck that I was nuzzled into. He pulled back and I followed suit. “Anytime, now get up and out so I can get off the bathroom floor.” I chuckled at that and thought about torturing him by forcing him to stay but decided against it seeing how I wouldn’t want to ruin my zombie movie day.

As I stepped out the door I saw Miles’ grab his bag from the hallway. As he opened the door he yelled “I’m leaving! Hurry up or you’ll be late.”. I went to say something about not going today but then he was gone. I shrugged he’d figure it out when we didn’t show up. I backed up from the bathroom door as Zeke approached it so he wouldn’t loom over me while leaving. He exited and began walking towards the living room, I followed. I watched as he grabbed the remote off the couch cushion and turned on the tv and put on Netflix. He sat on the couch and I followed suit, getting close to him wanting cuddles. He wrapped his arm around me, pulling me to his side. I frowned, this was nice but I wanted more. I glanced at him as I climbed onto his lap, my back against his chest again, making sure it was okay. He wrapped his arm around me and laid his head on mine as a familiar zombie movie he’d turned on began to play. I smiled, this- this was nice. This is what I needed. I needed the loving touch to replace the corrupted ones, I needed the kind words instead of the harsh ones trying to claim me, I needed the familiarity and love of my family. I reached behind us grabbing the throw blanket from the back of the couch and adjusted it around us, content to stay like this as long as I needed to get through this bad January day.

[jam2289]

Leading a Writing Group - Session 8

I had four cards, each with a single word: King, Queen, Prince, Princess. Each of the kids drew their card, and then I was left with... Princess. I didn't particularly want to write a princess story at that moment, so I made her a bit unique. But, before we did the writing we covered an important writing subject.

When writing there are two basic sets of tools that you can choose from. You can use narrative devices like flashbacks, foreshadowing, and framing. These are tools that help you to structure your story. You can also use rhetorical devices like rhyming, alliteration, and assonance. These are tools that help you to structure your sentences and paragraphs. The best writers are good at using both narrative devices and rhetorical devices.

Bella drew the Queen card. She wrote a story about a princess that was shortly going to become queen because the queen was passing her position and power on to her daughter. But, the princess's aunt wanted power and was seeking to make both the queen and the princess vanish. An epic family drama that reminds me of some of the Icelandic family sagas. Bella wrote her story in the 3rd person point of view, e.g. "She said x."

Xavier drew the King card. He wrote a descriptive tale about walking through some old creepy ruins. He wrote his story in the 2nd person point of view, which is very unusual, e.g. "You said x."

Lexi drew the Prince card. She wrote about a guy sitting at a poker table on a casino riverboat with a royal flush, about to win the hand. But, some prince falls off the boat and causes a scene and the game ends. She wrote her story in the 1st person point of view, e.g. "I said x."

It is crazy that all three of them wrote in different points of view. That was not discussed or planned at all, and it's awesome.

And, of course, there is my princess story.

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Once upon a time, in a land far away, there was a dog. A dog that loved cupcakes. He lived in a house on the edge of town.

In the center of town there lived a princess. The princess had seven cupcakes left. Her nanny forced her to eat cupcakes every day. The princess didn't know why, but it was because the nanny was jealous of the princess's beauty and sought to destroy her through the destructive power of cupcakes.

There was no way for the princess to escape her room. She had tried before. No one would sneak her any food because the evil nanny once caught one of the palace cooks sneaking the princess a hamburger and was severely punished for it.

The princess opened her window and looked down, four floors to the ground. She listened to the sounds of the birds overhead, and smelled the air outside mix with the smell of the cupcakes emanating from her room. Oh, how she wanted to escape that poisonous sweet smell.

A dog's nose is powerful beyond the awareness of a human. A mile from the palace he could smell those cupcakes. Chocolate with chocolate frosting, red velvet with vanilla frosting, carrot cake with cream cheese filling and buttercream frosting. Oh my! A feast he had dreamed of, but hadn't dared hope for. To find a way to those cupcakes, he must!

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It's a weird story, lol. I stopped near the beginning a couple of times and pointed out that I had no idea what I was going to write next, I just wrote what happened to come to mind. That way the kids can see that I'm not joking when I tell them they can write whatever pops into their heads. And, I think using that technique of little interjectory examples did help somewhat.

Lexi pointed out that the bun of the hamburger wasn't much of an improvement over the cupcakes as far as health is concerned, and that's true. A steak would have been healthier, but alas, that's not what came to my mind in the moment. Those types of things can be changed in the process of developmental editing.

It was a good session. I laid the groundwork for jumping back and forth between talking about narrative and rhetorical devices to develop our writing toolboxes, loved seeing the different points of view used, and feel that my in-story interjections may be a useful technique to remember for the future.

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