#go be a goofball on reddit

[norrkatt]

not playing armchair pyschologist and understand this really means nothing but something about internet behaviour kinda bothers me

there is no reason to just hate on people for getting their feelings hurt, and there is also no reason to tell them to not take rude behaviour personally

as a rule, if nothing hurts your feelings, that's cool whatever, but it is not up to you to decide how people should feel

and as an extension being a downer when someone is excited is socially awkward and unkind. there's a time and place to go "i hate that game/move/music genre" etc.

in my experience irl this makes people talk to you less. if thats your goal cool idc. critical discussion and general dogging is fine in context. hell the person might even AGREE with you but be excited bc it looks neat or whatever! but being a downer is draining! like please at least wait til later?!!

[dr-spectre]

team bread ?!?

side-eyeing aside, how do you feel about this upcoming splatfest ?

Upcoming Splatfest? You mean the Grand Fest right?

I'm gonna assume that is what you're talking about and you know what? I'M SO DAMN HYPED FOR IT!

WE'RE GETTING A BRAND NEW HUB FOR THIS SPLATFEST!!! AND ITS A FUCKING CONCERT WITH GOD DAMN ELECTRONIC RAVE REMIXES OF THE IDOLS SONGS! AND THERE'S INK EVERYWHERE AND UGHHH!!! I LOVE IT!!! ITS GONNA BE SO INSANE IM GONNA CRY I SWEAR TO GODDDDDD!!!!

If I hear Calamari Inkantation remixed by all three of the groups, I will not shut up about it for the next 4 years until we get Splatoon 4. I'm gonna be so fucking annoying and I won't apologise for it.

I mean sure the theme is kind of predictable but hey, it presents some interesting philosophical questions just like how Chaos vs. Order did, and i find those kinds of Splatfests to be the best ones. It's less about an Idol war or some useless shit, but it actually brings about genuine philosophical discussions and I love that!

I know that a lot of people are freaking out about the consequences about this Splatfest, myself included. If Team Past wins, will we go back to the past and never see Callie, Marie, Pearl, Marina, etc, for the next 5 to 7 years? If Team Future wins, will Callie and Marie be old women, and will the other characters we've grown to love.... pass away?

After thinking about it and seeing tweets from people on Twitter discuss it, nah, i don't think either of those outcomes will happen. Remember when people were making a fuss about if Chaos wins that Inkopolis would be covered in flames and be destroyed? Looked at what happened in Splatoon 3. Chaos was just an aesthetic for the new location Splatsville, the Idols, music, etc, and the Inkopolis we know ended up being okay!

If Team Future wins we might get a cool futuristic aesthetic for Splatoon 4 but it'll still be in the same timespan as Splatoon 3! Same with Team Past! Team Present will be the same sort of aesthetic we have currently duh. Obviously it'll be a few years after Splatoon 3 but I'm sure the characters we know we'll be okay!.... right?.... right nintendo?

I think the reason why people say that is because Nintendo has gone on record and said that Splatoon 3 is the "finale of the Splatoon saga" but they only mean the story mode of that game as ROTM tied up everything together theme wise in a neat trilogy. Callie, Marie, and everyone you like will come back because it would be a terrible financial and story decision to get rid of them. How will Nintendo sell new amiibo and merchandise? Off the Hook is so god damn popular and they would obviously come back in new outfits to sell new amiibo. Come on guys. Think like a business person for a second here.

I genuinely don't understand why some fans are so fucking adamant on wanting a clean reboot and to never see these characters again. Why do you want that SOOOO badly? I see that shit a lot on the Splatoon reddit man.

You don't wanna see these two again? Some of the best written characters in the series? You never wanna see these gay cephalopods ever again?!

YOU NEVER WANNA SEE THESE THREE GOOFBALLS THAT WE ALL LOVE AGAIN?!?! THEY HAVE SO MUCH STORY POTENTIAL AND YOU WANT THAT TO BE WASTED?!? FOR WHAT?!?!

And.... you don't wanna see the OGs again? You never wanna see Callie and Marie EVER AGAIN? The most iconic characters in the franchise, up there with the Inklings themselves!!! They have gone through so much and it's clear that Nintendo wants to keep them around, Marie has said in the Splatune 3 interview that she feels like she has an important role in creating the next generation of Idols. And yet... after what the shit they have gone through... you want them gone?

I truly don't believe you want that. Unless you don't really care about them...

Anyways, I am very much excited for the Grand Fest, so much so that thinking about it is giving me weird feelings in my chest. All of the screenshots I'm gonna take... eeeeee.... God help me.

[jinxxedmisery]

God... WHY!? (NSFW)

Headcanons plus a short fic.

Warnings: NSFW content.. this is literally a scenario about Gojo being a goofball during the deed...

Anywho... enjoy...Hope you like dead memes and cringe... (I hate myself for writing this... This should be a war crime)

Generally Gojo enjoys bringing humor into the bedroom, he really loves seeing you laugh.

But sometimes... He can get so fucking annoying.

As you lay on your back, hands pinned down to the bed, Gojo on top of you, thrusting into you in just the right way to make you scream...

A song you know all too well comes on... He's played it during sex so often. After that damned reddit r/AITA post he will not stop.

You've begged him to delete it from your Spotify playlist, but he never did.

Nasty little shit likes to see you go from whining about wanting him deeper to whining wanting him to stop acting like an idiot

Ofc.. He likes calling you really stupid pet names as well.. in and out of the bedroom..

And you better believe he thrusts with the rhythm of the song playing.. not the beat... Like a psychopath.

"Satoru....." you whine. A smirk appears on his lips as he continues the eratic thrust pattern.

"Hmmm? what is it munchkin?" He says with a mischievous glint in his eyes. You roll your eyes

"Please... for fuck sake turn that shit off... and wait... 'Munchkin' did you just call me 'Munchkin'?" You resist the urge to push him off of you and onto the floor

"Aww does my little boo thang not like what I call them?" You narrow your eyes at him

"Do you want me to shrivel up and die down there?" He rests his head on your shoulder and you feel him grin against your skin, you gulp in response fearing what would come next.

"Oh pookiebear~ You'll be okay won't you? You still want my girthy meat stick right?" he whispers in your ear, you hate to admit it but it could almost be hot... If he weren't whispering the most deranged shit into your ears. "You love it when my hotdog is inside your moist cavern don't you?"He whispers making you cringe. "And when my hands move to touch your sensitive nubbins" He says, moving his hand over to your chest, teasing your nipples. "How about I purple your nurple, would you like that my candybear.. the jelly to my peanut butter~"

"Satoru.... I hate you so much right now" You complain, He evidently takes pleasure in your cringing as he chuckles leaning in to kiss you. His thrusts once again moving to a pleasurable rhythm. No matter how much you groan and act like you hated him for it, you still truly love him. And that included all of his bedroom antics. In fact, you appreciate it sometimes, he always knows how to make you laugh and well today was indeed one of those days.

Just as you were soaking in the serious affection he was finally giving you after his goofiness.

Two Trucks came on. And he began bobbing his head and syncing his thrusts to the music. You scream in exasperation. "SATORU GOJO I SWEAR TO SHIT I'M NEVER LETTING YOU TOUCH SPOTIFY EVER AGAIN!!!"

He slept on the couch that night.. As he should.

[anxresi]

*Sees S6 ‘leaks’ on Reddit, checks them out*

First Up: ‘Chloe retrieves the Miraculous of the Raven from the Native American box, becoming the superhero, Silver Feather...’

HURRAY! See, give her a chance,  and I KNEW our girl wouldn’t let us down! ...Wait, there’s more...

‘...And later becoming the supervillain, Steel Feather.’

...Okay, who’s responsible for this?! I WANT NAMES!! Maybe the episodes synopsises will provide further information... *Scrolls a LONG way down to find Chloe being mentioned*

618_VESPERIA

Written by: Thomas Astruc - Mélanie Duval - Frédéric/que Engel Lenoir - Chloé Paye - Sebastién Thibaudeau. Andre and Zoe go to New York to sign a contract with their new movie producer. They are accompanied by Adrien, who wants to deliver a letter for Nathalie’s relative by himself. As expected, the confrontation between both – now separated – Bourgeois families, went to extreme level. Akuma in New York? Cat Noir comes to the rescue!

a) Thomas “Hater’ Astruc still helping to write the show, even though he said he was quitting after S5? I KNEW it was too good to be true, but at least this explains the diabolical Chloe ‘Hope Spot’ above. God forbid there be any wealthy teenage blondes in his upcoming reboot of Astroboy...

b) Let me guess... The episode ends with Chloe humiliated (again) Audrey shouting at Chloe for perceived failures in letting down the family name (even though the defeat will be all Audrey’s fault) and Andre with Zoe waltzing off into the sunset together to become a World Famous Director/Actor duo, with all the Karmic Jackpot from the writers you can possess for the pure attribute of disliking Chloe.

c) Of course, all these ‘leaks’ could be complete nonsense invented by some imaginative geek with WAY too much time on their hands, and I reserve the right to delete this post at any time if/when this turns out to be the case to preserve my own reputation/ego/sanity. (My main reason for skepticism? In the above episode, Chat has his moment in the limelight instead of giving Ladybug all the glory and demoting him to ‘flirtatious goofball’ when they’re apparently ‘equals’. Yeah, right.) 

I mean, if you read the rest of the plot descriptions, it DOES sort of read like bad fanfiction... but then I think of what S5 is basically like... and I reckon, ‘there might be something to this’. Whatever the truth is, only time will tell... but not for me, because I won’t be watching in any event. Ciao! x

[spaceebrabbled]

Ahihi hello! I'm Crowley, or Crow, or Kib!! I'm a refugee from both Reddit and bird app- I've been,,, lurking,,, to try and fit better and learn the ways,,, But I finally decided to make a blog!!

I'm a genderqueer, pansexual and polyamorous goofball from Sweden!! I do art and writing sometimes, but not very often,,, I just look at everyone elses and go :0c

Maybe one day I'll post some fanwork,,, for now though, i lurk!!!

[fivebyfive005]

Alright Horizon fans. Let’s talk. Now, I did not want romance in Horizon at all until HFW gifted us with Kotallo. Now I'm adamant that he should be with Aloy, and I previously posted this essay about why. So I'm back with this intensively thought-out explanation regarding why (in my opinion) Aloy should not be with various other characters with whom she is often shipped. Just an FYI - if you disagree and want to ship her with other characters (or nobody) that is obviously fine, and I’m not here to argue. This is just me spewing out my thoughts, since I feel like I’ll explode if I keep them pent up. 

Petra – I’m starting with Petra because Ashly Burch previously wrote on Reddit that she felt Petra would be the most compatible with Aloy up to that point (this was about four years ago now, so before HFW). Her reasoning was as follows: “Petra is the only one who would respect and understand her need for full autonomy and frequent excursions on super dangerous mission...I also don't think it would be a particularly intimate relationship, and I doubt that Petra could stay monogamous.” She did, however, go on to say that “I actually don't think I would personally ship her with anyone that we've met yet,” though I am aware that there are still a good number of Aloy/Petra shippers. I think this is all quite accurate and well-reasoned by AB, and it is worth noting out of the gate because she is basically the proverbial horse’s mouth. Also regarding Petra, I can’t help but feel that the dynamic she has with Aloy is really one of friendship more than anything that seems romantic, intimate, or sexual. When Aloy runs into Petra in the very beginning of HFW, Aloy is pretty rushed, and is practically dying to get away from Petra ASAP. This actually seems to make Petra a bit salty, by the way, which is, interestingly, opposite the argument that AB made in the first place (though she seems to get over this pretty quickly). Moreover, this does not seem like behavior of someone attracted to the person they just ran into, on Aloy’s part. As they continue their dialogue at Chainscrape, it is really pretty much all business, too, and I feel like you’d have to do quite a bit of interpretational gymnastics to see any kind of romance developing there. I also feel that historically Aloy has frequently appeared uncomfortable when Petra flirts with her, and I don't think this is because she has feelings in return, but rather that she doesn't know how to treat a friend showing her such overt flirtation (we have seen this discomfort for her with other characters making moves on her, as well). Furthermore, Petra is a bit of a one dimensional character, and though I enjoy Petra for the levity her character brings, I think Aloy's personality would work best with someone a bit more multifaceted and deep. 

Erend - There are a lot of Aloy/Erend shippers but I also know that a lot of them have already expressed willingness to consider Aloy/Kotallo since playing HFW. That probably in itself shows that shipping Erend - at least in some cases - may have been more related to proximity and him just being a beloved character from the first game (rather than a feeling that he would be right for Aloy, and that their relationship would add to the story). Don't get me wrong, I love Erend as well, but he should absolutely NOT be with Aloy. I'd rather be decapitated by a dull guillotine than see that happen. Erend is a loveable goofball for the most part, and while he has more depth than meets the eye initially, I'd say just barely. He really is pretty simple, and I don't think he would really challenge or stimulate Aloy (which I think she needs). Erend is someone who prefers to eat, drink and be merry, whereas Aloy is a very action-oriented person, who I think would still have a heart for action and adventure even after saving the world. As such, I think Erend would bore her. Now, Erend’s affection for Aloy has been made clear, and though I think he has grown a bit in HFW, he still seems to have a tendency to burden her with feeling obligated to give him time and attention (as was the case with him being resentful about her rushing off after the end of HZD). This is definitely not right for Aloy, who really does need to have freedom and independence, and who needs someone who understands that she is putting her mission and duty first. With that said, I do think that over the story of HFW he's somewhat accepted that her mission means that she is not looking for a relationship (to this point). I think he's started to see her more as a sister (like a sort of replacement for Ersa) and Aloy sees him more like a protective big brother. And I think that is the perfect dynamic for them. I love that chemistry between them, but I can't see them being anything more. 

By the way, I know some people point to the look Aloy gives towards Erend when they are standing together at the end of HFW, but I think it's really important to point out here that in this moment she has just looked at her entire gang and has made the choice to move forward on her journey with the help of the people she loves. She then looks at Erend (her oldest friend in the group at that point). With that being said, I think her look in that scene is more reflective of the happy notion that she can have a family - even while she tries to save the world - and not actually an amorous look. 

Nil - I can't believe how many people ship Aloy/Nil because to me it's blatantly clear that he is all wrong for Aloy. Though I think they have similar personalities with being action-oriented, adventurous people (and I agree that – like Petra – Nil would give Aloy the freedom that she needs), they have none of the same values. Nil is not really one for reducing conflict, which is certainly one of Aloy’s goals. Aloy says this herself during a discussion with Kotallo at the base, and he agrees, with her, by the way. Aloy has also been pretty clear during their conversations that she does not agree with Nil’s choices and his lifestyle in most circumstances. This does not lend itself very well to a relationship/romantic partnership.  

Talanah - IFF I were to ship Aloy with someone besides Kotallo, it would be Talanah, but I still don't think this would be a good pairing. Talanah is a bad ass with more nuance than many other characters – and I do think that she and Aloy have similar values and personalities - but she and Aloy are also pretty clearly depicted as simply very good friends and fellow hunters. Their dynamic is really not sexually charged at all, as evidenced by the very platonic hug at the end of HFW, and the frank conversation that they have in that same scene about love (which is in no way directed towards each other). Not to mention that Talanah herself has admitted that she's still a bit hung up on Amadis…

Avad - Blehk. Avad is not a bad guy, but it should go without saying that Avad is a terrible choice for Aloy. She has no interest in being royalty (or Carja, I think, for that matter, with all their excess and opulence), and it is frustrating that he won't listen to her polite refusals, but rather keeps pestering/burdening her with his advances. He doesn't understand her at all, and I think the idea of them being together is laughable. I think the majority of the fanbase agrees, but I’m still including him because he is so forward with his attempts to court her in the game itself.

Friends. Romans. Thank you for staying this long, if you have, and know that I still love you even if you don’t agree with my points. :) 

I will conclude by once more saying that Aloy absolutely should be with Kotallo. They have so much in common in terms of similarities of upbringing, and shared goals, values, and personality traits. Going back to Ashly Burch’s comment from 4 years ago about how she would not personally ship Aloy with anyone at that point, it should be noted that Kotallo was not around at the time. But he is now, and I also feel that Aloy has grown and changed a lot over the course of HFW. She is now more open to exploring relationships of all kind, and I think the game could do some really great things narratively by exploring love/strength through a romantic relationship with her and Kotallo, similar to how they made a wonderful story about the power of friendship in HFW. 

[inthememetime]

The Company (+Gandalf, Dís, & Tauriel)- Do they have a Tumblr in a modern AU which I'll probably never write?

Dwalin- Like this? *holds out a tumbler style cup*

Balin- Yes, and he uses it to shitpost constantly. 'Your teeth are always wet.' 'On average, the number of human skeletons in a human body is more than 1.'- style posts. No one in his friend group knows, but some suspect since he's suspiciously up to date on memes.

Thorin- Yes, but he's only on like twice a week. A friend of his suggested he posts some of the tattoos he does, and he likes the validation. He also does watercolors for commissions. He was confused about why some of his regulars told him they were 'looking respectfully' until he was tagged in one of Bilbo’s livestreams where he came downstairs in nothing but a pair of boxers with mistletoe on the front. Somehow he always forgets what night Bilbo streams on despite the fact it's posted on their fridge.

Glóin- No, but I think Dwalin has one you can use. Oh. Is it that thing my lad Gimli is always on? You know, my son landed 1st place last week in his- wait. Where are you going??

Oín- The what now? How do you get on a mug? Like a painting thing? I think Thorin does those if you want one.

Dori- Yes, he's on a few times a week. He's very active in the embroidery and needlepoint circles. He doesn't have a lot of followers, but he's ok with that.

Nori- He's more of a Reddit guy. But sometimes he gets on and spams the porn bots with requests for free toasters or tacos for funsies. He also teaches people how to legally get away with breaking and entering, theft, and similar crimes as long as they promise to only use it on rich assholes.

Ori- Yes, he has 2 Tumblrs. One that's active in needlepoint, crochet, and calligraphy that Dori knows about, and the other is a fanart blog. His Zukka, Johnlock, and Destiel work gets a lot of reblogs. Hates Post+ with a passion.

Bifur- He likes plants, so he started looking them up and posting them online. Eventually, somebody on Reddit told him he should get a Tumblr and now he's known as the plant guy. He's very active, and talks about his disability sometimes which lost him a few followers but gained him a lot more. He's actually made a side gig out of it through Ko-Fi.

Bofur- Yes, and now it's a legitimate business model for him? He still can't figure out how that happened. All he did was post pictures and videos of his handmade toys, link his Etsy and tell people he did commissions, and he's actually had to hire people now to keep up with the workload. 90% of it is the toys. The other 10% is the internet swooning over the super nice goofball who has to stop streaming to shout 'kitty!' every time his cat walks in and forgets to edit it out.

Bombur- Not really. He has a Tumblr, sure, but he hasn't used it since 2015.

Fíli- Yes because he can talk to people about swords and knives and axes and not be considered weird. He's known as the Weapons Discourse Guy, don't tag him in anything else. Unless it has explosions. Yes he's seen the video of his uncle in nothing but the world's tiniest mistletoe boxers, please stop tagging him in it.

Kíli- He has the blog his brother, mother, and uncle all know about- the one where he talks about hunting, archery, prehistoric animals, and dream vacations. He has his main blog, which is full of writing prompts, fanfic he's writing, and an insane amount of reblogged fanart for Reasons.

Bilbo- He finally got on Tumblr to see what the lads were on about, and posts a lot of baking videos. He runs a sweet shop and he's found lots of people enjoy watching him make candies, cupcakes, and pies. He also accidentally made Thorin a little more popular because he lives above the shop and sometimes Thorin comes downstairs shirtless while he's filming. His views always spike when there's the Baking Trifecta- complicated candies, shirtless Thorin, and Thorin talking to him from the side. His viewers like Thorin's voice; Bilbo doesn't blame them.

Bonus:

Tauriel's blog is NSFW, but not for the reason you might think. She's a Forensic Pathology major, and some of the research papers and pics she reblogs are disturbing to say the least. Despite using (some would say over-using) trigger tags, she still gets a lot of anon hate. Despite that, there are a lot of people who actually like her blog, because they get to find a lot about what happens when they die and find it comforting. She's also exposed a lot of racism and classism in the death industry, and now she writes books on it.

Dís: Everyone thinks she doesn't, but she does. She's not very active, but takes the time to send Thorin pictures of stickbugs (he hates them) because any opportunity to troll him is one she'll take.

Gandalf: He doesn't know how he got onto this hellsite, but he's blaming Pippin. Pippin was maybe 3 at the time, but he'll still blame the kid. But now that he's here, he might as well devote some time to raising absolute HELL on TERFs, Karens and pedos.

[houseofglass]

Hmmm, this spn prequel seems to have ruffled a lot of different feathers. My dash has provided me with Jared hate, Jensen hate, confused tinhats, and even a splash of Cockles/Destiel opinions.

Here’s my take. Spoiler alert: unpopular opinions ahead. I’m not linking anything because I’m in the middle of an unprecedented heatwave and I don’t feel like finding all the sources. Do your own research. Or not. Whatever. I just want to get this all out as coherently as possible. Here we go:

From the beginning, Jensen has been a professional. He didn’t let the drama on Dark Angel get to him and he’s said that he actively avoided having that same drama on the set of spn. He’s known as One-Take-Ackles because he brings his A-game every time.

Jared liked to mess around on set. Take after take after take after take. There was reddit post about how the crew would be working 13 (?) hours to get everything set up and still had six hours of teardown to do and then bam! actors messing about and making the day longer. Like, just say your lines dude. Anyway. Jared liked wresting, getting others to break, and pranking. I think he even pranked Misha by ruining his car more than once. Not cool, IMO.

J2 had a massive fight on set in season two. I recall it being about Jared egging Jensen on to fight but Jensen just stared him down until Jared left the set. They made up and agreed to never do that again as it promotes a bad workplace. Keep your shit contained, kind of thing.

But Jared didn’t, not really. One incident in particular is the wrestling with Osric Chau. Osric is a trained fighter and Jared was apparently going to slam him into the concrete. I repeat, into concrete. Osric dislocated Jared’s shoulder as a result. Jared still didn’t back off and Osric dislocated it again, this time Jared needed surgery and rehab. The wrestling finally stopped.

In all of this, J2 became good friends. I, personally, believe they started messing around sexually right after they auditioned for the parts and then got serious early on. They lived together, and Jared had his first breakdown immediately before announcing his engagement to Gen.

J2 are a good match. Jensen grounds Jared and Jared helps Jensen to be more outgoing while ‘on’ outside the set. Jensen seemed reserved and shy before Jared and was more confident and comfortable with Jared by his side. Jared can spin almost out of control and Jensen helps keep his feet on the ground. They also have an energy that’s been described as lightning in a bottle.

Fast forward a whole bunch of years. They’re still on the same show but have other interests. Each of them ensures that the other has the spotlight in turn. When one has a project, the other is quiet on social media so the focus won’t be taken away. They tell each other everything, as evidenced early on when PR and managers tried to play one off the other. They simply didn’t allow that to happen. Nope. Instead, they stepped back so one could shine. Jared opens a bar and Jensen is supportive. Jensen opens a brewery and Jared is supportive.

During all of this, they still perform at cons for fans. For a while, near the end of spn, I noticed Jensen seemed to be drunk/drinking often. He had a flask while getting a tattoo, he was spotted with fans while drunk and kissed one, the Bad Idea Instagram post. This isn’t unusual. He’s an adult. He can drink. I just thought it odd that I was noticing it more and asked myself, was he always a frequent drinker and he just stopped hiding it or is it a result of the rise of cell phones and constant casual photos?

But then Jared was arrested. He was drunk. Not tipsy or having a good time. Drunk. He assaulted an employee. A lot of people said he was just a big puppy and he didn’t mean anything by it, but that didn’t sit well with me. By this point I’d heard too many stories about Jared being a bit of an asshole. Also, I don’t think Jared has depression. I think he has bipolar disorder. He’s had too many incidences of mania for me to believe it’s just depression. He feels emotions deeply, that’s obvious to me, but he also has emotional swings that remind me of my own bipolar disorder. Am I self-inserting? Maybe. But I know the signs and I see them in Jared. BTW, depression meds can bring on mania if you have bd. You need a different cocktail for bd, and you shouldn’t drink while on them.

By the time J2 announced the end of spn, Walker was already in the works. I knew something was up when I saw Jensen advertising himself at every opportunity. The whole King Bacchus thing and him showing up at after parties/events that are designed for networking kinda cemented this for me. I figured he was parading around looking for work and wondered why Jared wasn’t doing the same. Then Walker was announced.

Now, I admit, my timeline there might be a bit off. Maybe Walker was announced before Jensen was King, but my brain is melting and I can’t remember. Either way, I did note that Jared had plans for post-spn when Jensen didn’t.

The wives started getting involved. Gen is on Walker and Danneel is part of Chaos Productions. Me, being the tinhat that I am, thought this was to ensure the wives have an income and are tied to their husbands. From a non-tinhat pov, I can see their involvement as a natural, nepotism thing that happens.

Jared is doing well on Walker, or so I’ve heard. I haven’t watched the show. Jensen got a role on The Boys and is filming now. Cool. Cool cool cool. Both have acting gigs.

Then Jensen announced, on social media, right before the Walker finale, that there’ll be a spn prequel that’ll be narrated by Dean.

Right. Before. Walker. Let that sink in. All these years, J2 have always stepped aside for one another to ensure they have the spotlight in turn. But now Jensen is hogging it? Jensen is taking the focus off Walker and putting it on himself? Not cool man, not cool.

Also, there was no mention of Sam in the prequel. No mention of the other half of spn. Jared has said, publicly, that he’d drop anything to work on spn stuff, so he’s available. So why wasn’t he ‘in the know’ about this? How could Jensen have slipped this past him?

Jared was seen in Colorado during Jensen’s birthday, just before Jensen went to Toronto. So they’ve seen each other. Even if, in the minuscule possibility, that Jared didn’t see Jensen that weekend, they’ve admitted to talking to each other a lot. So why didn’t Jensen, at any point, tell Jared about this prequel?

Then Robbie Thompson tweeted. Jared was hurt even more. Apparently, I heard through this blue hellsite, that Jared wanted RT to write for Walker, but RT refused. Why? Who knows.

Let’s go back in time, shall we?

Jared messed around on set. Jensen didn’t. I can believe that some crew members/writers/producers/directors would have hated working with Jared. Yes, I said that. Not everyone likes a goofball or prankster. Some people think those people are bullies in disguise.

Maybe, just maybe, the lines were drawn when spn ended. Some people supported Jared, others Jensen.

Before anyone yells at me too loudly, answer me this: how did Jensen - and everyone involved in the prequel including Kripke - keep this from Jared? Didn’t anyone at any point ask how Jared felt about it? Or if Jared was available? Or if Jared would have input? “He’s too busy on Walker” doesn’t cut it as an answer to me. Spn was about two brothers, always two brothers, and now a prequel will only feature one brother?

So I came to the conclusion that the industry deliberately took sides in this whole thing. Nobody told Jared because they didn’t want to work with him again. He has his own show, he’s busy, - these are easy ways of handwaving him out of the equation.

Bottom line, finally, is that Jensen stepped in some shit when he didn’t tell his co-star, his partner, his friend, about a prequel to the show they worked on for fifteen years.

Will I ever know all the details of why Jensen would do this? Nope. I’m not in the industry.

I still believe J2 were/are in a relationship and their wives are beards. I believe they have a wonderful friendship and were as close as two people can be. I don’t want to think that relationship is over. I don’t want to believe they’ve gone separate ways. But man oh man, Jensen fucked up big time here.

I can’t wait for a tell-all book thirty years from now.

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Professor Cavill HC

listen yall.... i usually stay away from the Real Person fic kinda stuff bc i learned from the psychosis that was the 1D fandom but... this post and @brexrif s additions got me thinking...

Henry as a prof of any kind:

he learns after the first week of his rookie semester that he needs to keep his shirts buttoned all the way. the girls in the front row did not, and could not, pay attention.

he abandons the idea of using the school gym to work out after two days

a group of students just camps in the slow lane of the track surrounding the weight room and ogle

someone said something about ancient Greeks collecting the sweat of gladiators and he had to wipe his sweat off to hide the giggle

ratemyprofessor dot com gets wild

“giant goofball. super hot. defs failed the course bc he was just too hot to concentrate. gonna take it again tho 😏 because i need the credits. just for the credits“

“My girlfriend dumped me bc she felt guilty that she was thinking about Mr. C while we fucked. Stung a bit, but it was the best sex we had...”

all the ‘i thought i was straight’ guys losing their minds

“Someone really should have warned me that hes this hot. I am too much of a thirsty bitch. This semester might actually kill me.”

the ‘how big is it?!’ discourse gets so many people banned that they move it to reddit

complete with zoomed in photos from the second row of class when they think he isn't looking

the engineering majors whip out that trig to try to figure it out, for thirst and just to end the madness.

it makes it worse when they all get results in the 8.84-9.62 inch region depending on what they use in the background for reference and where they rounded digits. 

one class is brave and takes to carving their phone numbers or social media into apples to leave on his desk.

one day he walks in to like seven of them and just gives this long suffering sigh while trying not to laugh, it would encourage them too much.

he does that Hot Teacher thing where he leans back against the desk with his arms and legs crossed and has to be like “Guys. For the love of all that’s good and holy. I don’t have tenure yet, don’t fuck this up for me. Keep the thirst on reddit, please?”

half of them aren’t listening bc his arms are just so big and there’s chest hair peeking out above his sweater and they’re just weak like me

in five minutes there’s a whole new thread frantically trying to sift thru and find his user

his WoW character gets leaked and he just gets buried in gifts

the dean has to have that awkward, “look dude you gotta make a new profile, this is just a scandal waiting to happen.”

he deadass begged the openly ace seniors to be his TA bc the last one was just exhaustively flirty and shameless

he hears someone lament the Chin Dimple™ and grows a beard in hopes that tamps their enthusiasm

this only brings a new demographic into the reddit thread/what has almost become a fandom

he shaves and they go buck wild

he tries a stache because he sees a post about how every guy is instantly creepier with a pornstache

once again, makes. it. worse.

one particularly fearless student calls him “Magnum” at the end of that semester and he blushes

buzzfeed writes an article about him, screenshots of the threads included.

the day he gets contacts instead of those cute nerd glasses the whole class is drooling but half post later that they miss the dorky glasses

he assigns a ‘make a meme out of this’ project and half of them come back with the guy looking over his shoulder at the passing girl while his girlfriend looks at him in disgust, all about him. 

his favorite one had the guy labeled “The whole class” the girlfriend labeled “getting any work done” and the passing girl labeled “Mr. C’s ass”

he gives this guy an A but swears him to secrecy, he cant encourage the thirst but the kid took a risk

the school has to be like ‘calm the fuck down guys. hes just some nerd in sweater vests. plz we like him and you are making us nervous about lawsuits’

Someone sees him out on a date in a leather jacket and reddit goes insane 

everyone actually tries for his classes

he has to make a sign up sheet for office hours

which he now does outside in the courtyard because someone wrote a rather detailed and impressive smut fic called “Office Hours or Dick Appointment?” that had the dean giving him side eye

he secretly loves it but keeps up the long suffering shy boy act out of necessity 

if he makes a song or movie reference it is immediately added to a playlist somewhere

the gays are praying hes bi

praying

the year he gets tenure the seniors do a skit about the redit thread at graduation - it fucking slaps

he give a thumbs up and approving nod

i could truly go for days. plz add to it. 

[avauntus]

So I’ve started Nirvana in Fire.

...I think I’m missing something?

I am on episode 16, having skipped from 6 to 11, because I heard something good was supposed to happen in episode 12 (and I figured, like The Untamed, I could always go back and watch earlier eps once I cared about characters). But I’m still not very invested? Per the advice on Reddit, I’m sticking it out until one particular party, and if it doesn’t grab me by that point, I’ll probably give up.

I like the costuming and concept-- but I just can’t seem to care about the characters?

Who I can (somewhat reliably) identify so far (a tongue in cheek guide):

This man is mysteriously responsible for everything that is happening. How? Shhh, no thoughts, only vibes. Everyone you meet in the drama either owes Secret Agent Plotter Man a life debt or is his unspoken enemy. No in-between. He has six names. He fell off a cliff at some point in his young adulthood, and that gave him terminal tuberculosis. Thoughts and prayers.

Regrettably, the one person who tells Secret Agent Plotter Man he is certifiably insane shows up for five minutes in the first episode, gives him some really good medical-grade weed for his tuberculosis, and then doesn’t appear again (so far).

Secret Agent Plotter Man scams these two into letting him Air BnB at the capital with them for a while, which is good because they are the only characters I consistently care about. My boy on the left has some of the best martial artists in the noble set (excepting Good General, who I don’t have a picture of and -- you guessed it-- owes Agent Man a life debt).  On the right is his best friend and NiF’s answer to Mr. Bingley. He is my precious. It is impossible to have a bad time when this goofball is around.

(Look at this serious puppy. I mean he does spend too much time being pulled into Secret Agent Plotter Man’s machinations because he’s impressed with the other’s cultivator skills. He may or may not also be heir to the throne because-- I am not kidding -- a bunch of midwives got babies confused at his birth in a plot point ripped from Good Omens.)

Meanwhile, everyone is having a tournament to decide who this lady-general is going to marry (which-- jokes on them, because it’s pretty clear in episode 1 that she’s attached to the martial investigator lady who is her “special friend”). Predictably, she is still unmarried 16 episodes later, although she does show up at Secret Agent Plotter Man’s meetings sometimes to cry on him. She does seem capable-- the tragedy is she can’t run away and start her own mercenary band in the mountains-- I’d watch that show.

She figures out Secret Agent Plotter Man’s secret-secret-secret identity before anyone else. This has absolutely no effect.

This is her younger brother. Again, a theme for this show, he is delightful and only shows up for a minute or two at a time every six episodes.

This is the emperor Secret Agent Plotter Man is BIG MAD at. So far, his main vices seem to be he’s a little inattentive, scorns the prince candidate Secret Agent Plotter Man is backing, and has two terrible sons. 

This is the candidate Secret Agent Plotter Man would like to put on the throne. Everyone keeps forgetting he’s a prince, much less a candidate, because his main virtues are honesty, a complete lack of a sense of humor and frustrating everyone around him with his pride.

(Apparently people ship him and Secret Agent Plotter Man?! I do not see it.)

There are a bunch of other characters. I cannot consistently recognize them unless they wear their standard outfits all the time.

OK we need a pallet cleanser! 

Please enjoy these two idiots just living their best lives.  

Here’s hoping it picks up soon.

[gunterfan1992]

Episode Review: ‘BMO’ (Distant Lands, Ep. 1)

Airdate: June 25, 2020

Story by: Anthony Burch, Adam Muto, Hanna K. Nyström, Jack Pendarvis, and Kate Tsang

Storyboarded by: Hanna K Nyström, Iggy Craig, Laura Knetzger, Anna Syvertsson, & Adam Muto

Directed by: Miki Brewster (supervising), Sandra Lee (art)

I just watched a new episode of Adventure Time...

That, dear readers, is a sentence that—after the airing of “Come Along with Me”—I never thought I’d get to write again! And believe me, it feels great to be proved wrong in this instance.

In October of last year, we were all treated to the news that four new Adventure Time specials—collectively identified as Distant Lands—would be airing in the next year or so. For months, the Adventure Time fandom has waited with bated breath for these specials to drop. Would these episodes be good? Would they live up to the series that came before? Would they undo the emotional satisfaction of the Adventure Time finale? These were the questions. And now, the first special—entitled “BMO”—is here. Does it live up to expectations, proving that Adventure Time always bounces back? Or is it toast-bread for sure? Read on to hear my thoughts!

Beginning in media res, "BMO" opens with the titular character on its way to Mars to terraform Mars. After running into an errant service droid named Olive, BMO is transported to a fantastical space station known as the "Drift." It is here that BMO becomes acquainted with a humanoid rabbit named Y5, and together, the two help reveal the insidious plotting of the station's capitalist overlord, Hugo, and his henchman Mr. M (who, it must be noted, is almost certainly Finn’s father, Martin, up to one of his many schemes). After much mayhem, hilarity, and poignancy, the special ends with BMO traveling back to Earth and meeting up with Finn and Jake for the first time—revealing that this entire special was a prequel to the main series, explaining how BMO first met up with his good friends in Ooo.

The first thing I'd like to comment on is the fact that many of the show's former crew members returned to work on this special. In addition to Adam Muto (Adventure Time's hard-working executive producer), this special saw the return of: storyboard artists Hanna K Nyström, Laura Knetzger, and Anna Syvertsson; storyline writer Jack Pendarvis; character designers Andy Ristaino and Benjamin Anders; art director Sandra Lee; and composer Tim Kiefer. I was actually quite surprised (and delighted!) that so many of the show's old guard returned to help out. And while this special also saw several new creative voices helping out (including folks like former OK KO! storyboard artist Iggy Craig, former Steven Universe board artist Miki Brewster, and writer Kate Tsang), the overall product was recognizably Adventure Time. I must admit, this was my biggest worry going into Distant Lands; without folks like Tom Herpich, Kent Osborne, or Cole Sanchez, would this feel like the show I know and love? I’m happy to say that the answer is yes!

BMO really is in fine form in this episode—from their singing the "Potatoes (More Exciting Than Tomatoes)" ditty in space all the way to their hitching a ride to Earth on a space lard. (Indeed, the sheer number of humorous remarks the little robot gets makes me think that many of the shows writers were saving up goofy one-liners following the show’s cancellation, just in case.) I’m quite pleased with how the episode handled the character, and, in truth, somewhat relieved. Initially, I was worried whether the character would be able to coherently anchor an hour long special, given BMO’s unpredictable and somewhat unreliable nature (see: “Ketchup”). Would 45 minutes of BMO’s seemingly boundless goofiness work? Thankfully, the other characters in this special do an excellent job counterpoising the lovable robot’s more, shall we say, unorthodox personality features (Y5 perhaps said it best when she noted that BMO tends to “expend energy for no apparent purpose”). The end result feels remarkably balanced, with BMO’s chaotic, goofball energy complimenting the very real plight of the Drift’s residents.

Speaking of other characters, Y5 served as a workable straight man, whose half-heartedly pragmatic personality contrasts nicely with BMO’s boundless and wacky optimism. I must give the writers and producers credit: it was extremely risky for them to feature a brand new character as one of the main players (rather than one of the show’s many beloved side characters), but for the most part, they stuck the landing. I think much of this success is due to Y5’s voice actress, Glory Curda, whose performance really breathes live into the character, giving her an earnest believability. That said, the fast-paced nature of this special precluded me from developing the strongest emotional connection to the character, and as such, Y5′s “my parents don’t appreciate me” subplot did not resonate with me as strongly as, say, “It Came from the Nightosphere” did. (But then again, not every character can be Marceline!)

Strictly in terms of story structure, "BMO" is not exactly groundbreaking, and the special follows the standard "buddy movie" formula fairly closely (You know, the structure that goes: "Two individuals from different walks of life are forced to work together. Despite a rocky start, they begin to function as a team. Alas, they are split up, but reunite just in the nick of time to save the world"). But unlike Grace Z. Li of Vulture, who wrote that the special plays out "expectedly" and as such "is simply unimaginative in its structure," I cannot say that the standard plot structure torpedoes "BMO"—it simply gives the special a solid story frame that supports the characters while also providing an opportunity for the show to drop some timely social commentary.

Adventure Time has never been one to shy away from such commentary, but I do not know if it has ever been more overt than in “BMO.” As Alexander Sowa of CBR puts it, Hugo—the alien-human overlord of the Drift—is a “futurist reminiscent of Steve Jobs or Elon Musk” who long ago used a spaceship to escape Earth during the final days of the Mushroom War. After “biohacking” his DNA with the genetic material of the grey aliens who flit around the Oooniverse’s infinite cosmos, Hugo and his ilk founded an Amazon-esque empire in the Drift, inculcating its inhabitants with a love for rampant commercialism. As a villain, Hugo really is the wombo combo: a selfish capitalist hell-bent on stealing riches, colonizing new lands, exploiting conquered peoples, and then leaving when the situation looks bleak. It is not hard to see Hugo and his followers as stand-ins for the leaders of today, who refuse to acknowledge the reality of thinks like climate change or income inequality—problems that, if left unchecked, will lead to cataclysmic societal collapse. It is a bleak topic for Adventure Time to meditate on, but at least the episode ends on a positive note, with BMO's actions proving that with the right leader(s) and enough people working together, otherwise powerless individuals can topple oppressive regimes and begin to right the wrongs that have been made by the bourgeoisie (if you’ll allow me to invoke the ol’ Marxist term). Now, "BMO" admits that such reformation is one that will require many sacrifices, but nevertheless, the special does emphatically assert that it is possible. And in the hellscape that is 2020, this is a message of hope that so many need to hear.

In addition to social depth, there's quite a bit of existential nuance to this episode, too. Perhaps the most striking scene in the entire special is the scene wherein BMO is torn apart and—for all intents and purposes—dies. It is a chilling scene made all the more haunting by the return of BMO's rainbow personae (last seen in season seven's "The More You Moe, the Moe You Know"), who urge BMO to accept death ("Now your job is to be dead") and recognize that the robot has failed in its mission to be a true hero. (As pointed out to me on Reddit, the scene stylistically echoes an eerie bit of dialogue from Portal 2, wherein GLaDOS tells you: “I have a sort of black-box quick-save feature: In the event of a catastrophic failure, the last two minutes of my life are preserved for analysis. I was ... forced ... to relive you killing me. Again and again. Forever." Talk about horrific!) Thankfully—in the spirit of the hero's journey—BMO bounces back from the brink of oblivion, proving that even in the bleakest of moments, all of us can be heroes.

Or something like that.

All in all, “BMO” was an enjoyable romp that dropped us back into a magical world we all love. While I wouldn’t say that the special was mind-blowing, it succeeded in its mission of telling a new story in a new place, while focusing on a character whom Adventure Time fans care deeply about.

Here’s looking to “Obsidian!”

Mushroom War Evidence: When it comes to the Mushroom War mythos, this episode was full of a lot of little details. CGO’s monologue reveals that, indeed, Earth was ravage by numerous nuclear weapons; what is more, it seems that some sort of doomsday weapon vaporized part of the Earth, leaving that gaping scar in the planet that has for so long fascinated the show’s mythology-junkies. It is also explicitly state that Hugo and his ilk were humans who fled Earth during the Mushroom War to escape certain destruction.

Final Grade:

Also, while I have your attention: Book update! As some of you might already know, over the last year and a half, I’ve been working on a book all about the history and production of Adventure Time! It’s been an absolute blast, and I’ve been lucky enough to talk to quite a few of the folks who worked on the show (including people like Tom Herpich, Jack Pendarvis, Pat McHale, and Rebecca Sugar). I’m in the final stages of type-setting, and should hopefully have the book ready to go within the next few weeks. Here’s a sneak peek of cover (please ignore the faint InDesign lines; they won’t be in the finished product):

Originally, I was going to publish this work through McFarland and Company, but then Cartoon Network got all pissy (long story short: I reached out to Rebecca Sugar and Adam Muto, got in contact with both of ‘em, and asked some questions about Bubbline. Rebecca responded and and confirmed that Bubbline was intended to be canon when she boarded “What Was Missing” but structural homophobia prevented it from being explicitly declared as such. This revelation made CN PR reeeeeaaally uncomfortable and they threatened to sic the lawyers), so I’m now going to be publishing through the University of Kansas Libraries. The good news is that the work will be free to download, and easily accessible! Yay! That said, if you want a hard copy of the book, I’ll post details about that in a bit. Anyway, keep your eyes peeled!

[san-bika]

In the Garden Together

Fandom: Voltron

Pairing: Shance

Length: 2535 words

Rating: General

Warnings: Brief description of a panic attack; discussion of politics, little but of Langst, little bit of fluff,  banter, genre-defying fic, liberal use of the word quiznak

@prosaicwonder - here is your gift! Work has been awful lately and I had to work late on the 1st so I’m sorry it’s a little late. I hope you enjoy it!

Prompt: peony (honor, respect, romance, prosperity, bashfulness)

@shanceflowerexchange thanks for understanding my work situation. It’s been tough the last few weeks. 

The Rose Garden of the White House was ethereal; hazy sun, windswept blooms, and clumsy dragonflies set Lance’s heart at ease, pulling the tension from his shoulders. He wondered if it would be inappropriate to stretch out on a cozy patch of grass to watch the clouds.

But Paladins of Voltron probably shouldn’t be looking for rocket ships and butterflies and daydreaming, especially not during their official introduction to Earth with so many opportunistic photographers around.

And besides, Coran and Allura probably wouldn’t want him to get grass stains on his formal red and white Altean suit.

Lance was pretty sure some of the snaps already taken of him wouldn’t be the most… dignified pictures ever taken. But hey, who didn’t want a goofy selfie at the Oval Office! And if the entire universe had liked the Loverboy Lance persona, why wouldn’t Earth?

His stomach twisted at the thought that international press and the United States government leaders were just a few hundred feet away. He could literally feel responsibility weighing him down like a pile of bricks.

Everything had to go perfectly today. The entire galaxy watching was one thing, but this was his home, with consequences that he understood. Every step, and misstep, had nightmare-ish ramifications. It has been easier saving the universe when they had been fly-by-night vigilantes, or working with a coalition of grateful aliens.

Now Allura and Shiro had to prepare, consider, plan every word and gesture. (The paladins hadn’t thought to mention that among all the many human idiosyncrasies was the fact that human politics were a nightmare.)

Normally Lance enjoyed strategy and schemes but this kind of high-pressure focus on the worst case scenario and motivations behind everything left him feeling… inadequate at best. They had saved the universe. But he didn’t enjoy the reminder that life wasn’t all sunshine and roses.

Everything sent message, even their clothing was carefully planned out - they had chosen Altean formalwear similar to Coran’s outfit, with tightly fitted high collars, formal boots, and tailored capes to emphasize that just because the Paladins came from Earth, their mission, and Voltron’s, couldn’t be subject to Earthly plots and hierarchy.

Even if the human Paladins all hailed from the Galaxy Garrison in the United States, three of them were dual citizens, and one had been half-Galran. Shiro and Allura had been very clear that during any interviews and discussions, they were expected to show no preference, no bias.

Which was all well and good, but apparently even mentioning Varadero Beach in a silly spur of the moment reddit AskMeAnything was tantamount to declaring a Cuban alliance, if the way the reporters had crowded around him a few minutes ago meant anything.

“Mr. McClain, do you have a moment? Recently you mentioned your favorite place in the world was in Cuba, do you have any plans to return there to settle down? What are the chances that the Voltron Coalition would choose Cuba to be its headquarters? Why not choose a country that has been a democratic republic since its founding-”

“Uh, that was just something I said, I mean, I, uh, think that’s a better question for Princess Allura, or maybe Shiro, I mean Commander Shirogane, excuse me, I’m not feeling well at the moment…”

“Mr. McClain, Mr. Mcclain, one more question!”

Lance sighed and twisted a long blade of grass between his gloved hands. He huffed out a breath, trying to settle that uneasy feeling in his gut and muttered to himself as he walked.

“Movies always make everything look cool and dramatic, everything works out perfect. Good guys win, bad guy loses, hero gets a kiss and rides off into the sunset... and you don’t see all of the quiznacking politics and soulless paparazzi and… stupid, dumb, idiotic things that heroes say.”

His cheeks were still flushed with humiliation thinking that he’d rushed out of the press crowd like… a kid having a tantrum. Not behavior worthy of a Paladin of Voltron. But at the moment, he really didn’t know what would have happened if he’d stay. Most likely he’d have screwed up again somehow.

He turned down the path to the Children’s Garden and sprawled across the bench, wishing there weren’t secret servicemen around so he stretch across the warm lawn or under one of the historic trees. Even in peacetime, he couldn’t help but note the position of the black suits standing around the grounds.

After his abysmal answer, other reporters had blocked his path to the meeting room where the others were. The air around him had felt hot and tight, and the room had begun to spin. He’d never tease Hunk for his weak stomach again after that experience.

As the cameras had rolled and journalists talked over each other, as he’d stood uncomfortable and alone, he’d realized that as soon as he entered the conference room with the others he would be seated next to the president. And heads of state. World leaders. And he’d be expected to talk and answer questions of intergalactic significance. Questions like the one he’d just flubbed.

All of the preparation they’d done had not helped prepare him for this moment. It was easy to be diplomatic and interested when he was learning about new alien races and species and politics on the fly. It was like a game of pretend with his niece and nephew! Just learn the names, titles, and ask a lot of questions and boom - instant diplomacy.

But on Earth, he knew the names and he knew the consequences. Here, he knew which country was fighting against others using cyberterrorism and which countries were just using pure propaganda. Here there were still revolutions and oppression. He had feelings about which leader was a hypocritical ass and which ones were heaven-sent.

But then again, he was the kind of guy whose first instinct upon meeting an alien ruler was to hit on her. His opinions and his instinct… well, they didn’t really matter, did they?

Take a deep breath and relax. In and out. Allura and Shiro are going to smooth everything over. Worst case scenario, they’ll think you’re a traumatized veteran and maybe leave you alone.

At that thought, Lance’s lip curled in self-disgust. The blade of grass he had shredded was now coloring his crisp gloves green but he couldn’t bring himself to care. His fingers were trembling. Huh.

You’re not cut out for this. Maybe in the universe, you were something. But here, on this planet, you’re nothing but a goofball. You were meant to be a cargo pilot not some hero… not some thoughtless vain loser who shoots his mouth off before he thinks.

He didn’t realize he was biting his lip until he tasted warm copper on his tongue.

“And you officially are an idiot. Good going McClain.”

Lance dropped his head into his hands, squeezing his eyes shut and praying he’d keep his composure.

A thousand thoughts flew through his head. He could leave for the Castle, but then he’d have to deal with the others later, and what would he say? 

“Gee, sorry, guys, I guess I’m not cut out for this whole Paladin gig after all, toodles.”

Hopefully he could make up a story about tripping on something. He didn’t know how he could explain a cut lip any other way. They might believe it if he just owned up the fact the he’d cracked and couldn’t handle the pressure that they all seemed to thrive on.

“Boo.” There was a tap on his shoulder from out of nowhere.

For a brief, adrenaline-filled moment, Lance thought his heart would stop. But he couldn’t get angry. Shiro was grinning, he could tell just by the sound of his voice.

Lance clutched at his heart and pouted as the leader dropped to sit neatly next to him. And here comes a lecture. At least I can enjoy his quiznaking perfectly tailored suit...

“Well, there’s another year off of my life. I hope you’re happy.”

Shiro dropped his head back and filled his lungs with the summer air, a subtle little smirk on his face.

“I am. But for a guy relaxing in the sun on such a gorgeous day, you seem a little tense.”

It was like a glass of water had been poured down his back. Lance stopped sucking on his lip as sheer horror flooded him. He dropped the grass and sat ramrod straight, “Shiro, I’m so sorry about the Conference, what did you guys say to the President? I mean, I didn’t mean to run but I just wasn’t feeling well and I didn’t know what to-”

Shiro turned to face him, concerned. He placed that heavy Galra hand on his shoulder.

“Hey, don’t worry, take a breath, Sharpshooter. It’s ok. If’d you stayed just a few more minutes you would’ve seen Pidge arguing with the Chief of Staff about our cybersecurity, Hunk actually getting sick and having to leave, and Keith completely tongue-tied in front of the press. We’ve rescheduled.”

The other man shuddered and let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He looked down at his feet.

“I’m sorry. Maybe the others wouldn’t have fallen apart if I hadn’t talked to those reporters in the first place. I got distracted and fell behind. I don’t even think they were supposed to be there.”

Shiro nodded, wrinkling his nose. “They really weren’t. You’d think security would be upped with all of the politicians here, but apparently they were let in by another staff member as a favor. But how are you feeling? You don’t look sick, you seem…. Upset.”

A tiny voice in Lance’s head let out an exasperated sigh. As dense as Shiro could be, now he was going to be all perceptive?

“I am, I mean, I was until you came over. I was just overwhelmed. Didn’t really know what to say or do, so I thought leaving might be the best way out. I’m not sure I should come next time. Earth politics aren’t really my forte, you know.”

Shiro’s metal hand was getting too warm in the sun, but Lance refused to move.

He liked the weight of it.

“I know what you mean. We all heard them talking to you from the conference room, there was just such a swarm around you, it was hard to get through and then you were gone.”

Ahhh, guilt, Lance thought morosely.

“I really am sorry, Shiro. I shouldn’t have said anything or done any press beforehand. I didn’t think of the consequences. If you want me to, I don’t know, give a press conference about it, I will. I don’t want my stupid comments to cause World War 3.”

Shiro actually smiled here, rubbing his thumb back and forth.

“Actually finding out what you said online made me really happy.”

At first the paladin thought he might be getting heat stroke before realizing it was a furious, deep red blush.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Oops, he hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

His leader dropped his head to the side, eyes coy and restful like they hadn’t been in quite a while.

“Really, when Pidge showed me your chats and comment replies, it was like a weight was lifted from my shoulders.”

Considering the amount of innuendos, puns, and just general stupid junk he’d posted, the word flabbergasted fit nicely here.

“Why??” Lance managed to croak.

Shiro dropped his hand to rub the back of his neck, looking uncertain for the first time.

“I mean, it’s some proof that you’re ok, isn’t it? A sign that we made it through and you’re still Lance. Not to say we don’t have our traumas and scars but knowing that you are so ready to just live life and let loose…. It makes me feel like I, like we all can do that too.”

Lance tried to say something, but his voice warbled with emotion and he didn’t say anything at all. He tried to count the smooth pathstones in front of him but his brain was uselessly combing through every word Shiro had just said.

He settled on a thank you but was waved off by his friend.

“You’re not entirely off the hook. You have to clear any online communications with us beforehand, of course. And you look like you just had a panic attack, which we’ll have to talk about later. You shouldn’t be feeling that stressed over diplomacy when that’s one of your strong suits. And we have to get back soon. Since we’re rescheduling, the UN is going to have an impromptu meeting to determine Earth’s approach to Voltron, so we really should give them some ...space to get to it.”

Lance rolled his eyes and stood up, “I can’t believe you just dad-joked me.” He turned to head back towards the others when he came face to face with  a scarlet red flower with hundreds of creped petals.

A peony, Mama’s favorite flower.

Lance’s favorite flower.

His heart began a steady drum as he followed the line up to Shiro’s pink cheeks.

What the quiznak is going on?

“I just saw a few over there and remember that you liked these... So I picked it to cheer you up.”

Shiro struggled with what to say and Lance was too emotionally drained to handle this.

“How did you know I liked this flower? I don’t ever remember telling you that.”

Shiro swallowed hard. “It came up. I have… a good memory.”

Lance could feel his eye beginning to twitch and his cheeks redden.

“Okay, stepping away from that bald-faced lie, are you telling me you picked a flower from the WHITE HOUSE GARDEN to cheer me up?”

The other man shrugged and offered a helpless expression.

“I mean, I didn’t think they’d get mad, we’re the Paladins of Voltron.”

“Shiro, there are signs everywhere that say very clearly not to pick the flowers. And you seem awfully okay with abusing your power now that we’re back on Earth! Picking flowers from the White House Garden! What’s next, counting cards in Vegas??”

The leader stepped forward, pulling him into a warm hug, laughing. Lance’s brain began to melt down when he felt the Galra hand gently rubbing his back.

“Who knew you’d be so bashful. You’re a hard person to woo, Lance.”

At this rate, Lance wouldn’t be useful at any diplomatic meeting for the foreseeable future. No, his brain was drifting somewhere with the clouds and his heart was racing with happiness.

Shiro stepped back to cradle Lance’s cheeks.

“I’m sorry I stole from the White House Garden, I’ll tell someone and offer to pay for it. But please keep the peony. It’s been an honor standing by your side as a teammate. And I feel even happier when I realize that you are nearly as whole, perfect, vibrant as the day you first stepped onto Blue. I’d meant to tell you about my feelings later, but you just looked so cute with that blush it all came out.”

RIP Lance McClain, the Cuban thought idly as he gazed, starstruck, into his hero’s dark eyes.

He laughed as a wide smile crawled across his face, reached out to embrace Shiro, and accidentally tripped, smashing his face against the other’s.

And as first kisses went, it was one of the better ones.

[cactusseeds]

*sees trans woman at the dsa meet*

hoo boy *combs soybeard and approaches* ahem Hello lovely lady. My pronouns are she/her/her's. Don't worry, I'm not like those other cis white women haha. Cis get the bullet! Mayocide! Hehe. You should check out my reddit account. I've gotten a lot of karma from owning tankies and doing funny bits. But sometimes I can be a bit of a goofball troll too. Yesterday, I went on the\_donald and told those chuds to post hog and they banned me haha! A subreddit enforcing its rules, priceless! Sounds like they need a safe space. Not that there is anything wrong with safe spaces though! I think I'm a lot like the twitter account dril when I troll the chuds. Have you heard of dril? That's D-R-I-L. It's a pretty crazy twitter account that says silly stuff that you can repeat verbatim to own people. Corncob haha! You should look it up. It's dumb but hilarious. Whoops sorry, I shouldn't be using ableist words like dumb. How careless of me. Anywho, have you ever heard of a band called death grips? PRETTY PRETTY NINE MOTHERFUCKER! Haha that's a death grip lyric reference. Whoops, now everyone is staring at me because I used my outside voice hehe. What's that? You need to go to the bathroom? If you'd like, I could follow you to make sure no chuds give you any trouble for going in your preferred bathroom because that is my chivalrous duty. Wait, where are you going?! Just a pint of mouthfeel before you go? Please ma'am, might I just have a microwatt of girldick?

you are literally the female. version of the DSA vopypasta

link me this idk what ur talking abt

[pioxys-twitchpp]

Until Next Time~

Hey guys! long time no see. I'm here to bring you an update. Well, one last update that is, cause now I have to speak real level with all you cool followers who stuck with me over the years. ( I know it sounds cheesy and lame, but I couldn't appreciate you guys more than now in this period of my works, and what I do) After 2016's Phancero Era runs, I've been doing some heavy thinking. where should I go with my updates? What do people really want to see from this blog? Are there people who still follow the blog & the twitch Plays pokemon tags? Do I have enough time to keep sitting through each run updating you guys, compared to 2014 - 2015? (my best years on TPP) Most important, do I still have the passion to keep doing what I'm doing here?

So it might sound saddening when I say this, but I think we already knew this was coming for a long time now, to really not be surprised. It's time for the old TPP blog to close shop here. Truth is, my passion for twitchplayspokemon left a long time go, and while I visit the stream here and there, joke around with the friends I've met in the community discord, and post TPP works & lurk reddit on somewhat daily bases, everything related to twitchplayspokemon & Ask-TwitchPKMN been very underground for me. Also no this is not a leaving TPP post. I’m just closing this o’l gal of a blog down. Just keep reading for more details.~

To put it in explanation: It finally hit me that runs hasn't been the same ever since Prism ended. I hope that magic still been around for you guys in the newer runs though! For me I don't really feel it anymore. Now days I tune into a run for like the first 2 or 3 days, and then I tune out and come back if anything catch my eye happens. That or something comes up that makes me miss a chunk of it, and I lose interest. Then while PBR betting always seem to get better and better over time, it's just not doing it for me anymore. I just make my visits, bet, and go. Nothing else really to add to that. My creative drives (art, lore, etc.) have gone to other places. So not only I make time to update a run, I don't really post my TPP works here anymore. As you can see though, Ask-TwitchPKMN still up, and even that I struggle to get new comics out. Having updates to every week, to every month.  That's not even mentioning how life stuff either made me lazy, or too busy to do anything to keep updated here. So in the end, I'm just gonna leave it as that, and best safe to say it's time for this blog to finally have a peaceful rest.

I thank you guys really on all the adventures I got to share with you. all the wacky post, rage quits, sweet chin music to my hopes & dreams, random starmies, and sharing my passion to those who followed this era of my life in this blog. Only reason I didn't make this sooner was cause I thought I still had it in me to keep going. I did say "This is the year of the minun", but I was more inactive than I was in 2016. You only fail if you quit, and well maybe I am, but I think it's the right choice for this place to move on. I wanna make something clear though. This is NOT a "i'm leaving TwitchPlaysPokemon" post. I'm not going anywhere. I'm still around being a goofball furry in the discord.  I'm still lurking and posting new comics of Ask-TwitchPKMN over at TPPKappa subreddit. I still post new pictures here and there when a run happens to help with lore and cool art. I just feel announcing this is the best way to go, and not look back, and if I do manage to come back here, it's gonna be for a special run. No not Ultra Sun or Ultra Moon, or a future run that involves gen 8 on the switch. I'm talking about some kind of super special anniversary run, or a run that's declared the final run of TwitchPlaysPokemon. So that leaves me with this final segment:

Where do I go to follow you now then?

Well since my original Tumblr is dead in the water too (seriously i never update it), you can see what I'm doing here in my deviantart. I update like a slug there, but at least you get to see way more often  journals what I've been up to, hows life, some silly comics & pictures, and any updates to newer comics like Ask-TwitchPKMN/Solareon Wars.  I'm also still around on the TwitchPlaysPokemon subreddit & community discord to be a goofball with anyone there. Trust me it can get wacky and weird 50% of the time, but the people there been fun and good to me. Hope they will on your end too.

Hmmm anything else? I guess I should talk about the status on ASk-TwitchPKMN too. Simply put: I'm not being consistent on uploads anymore. It's where I want, when I want, which is why it takes forever to upload. It can be weekly, it can be monthly. I always try my best to get one out once per week. This week I got lucky and did 2 uploads! :D  Other then that, I'm going to be focusing on the current Sol Wars stage before adjusting the changes to final act. I've opened a series 2 blog, but trust me, nothing gonna go on there for a long time. I just made this for a fresh new start, and the day I am ready to work on it. I'll be trying to get more busy on my TPPDev team work too, since I've been lacking this entire year. Trust me the projects we're working on might actually get you very excited in the future! So look out for that eventually.

Well with that said, it's time to for me to roll. Hope to see you guys whether if it's chatting, asking in ATP8+, or mostly following my works on deviantart & reddit. Until that one special status run happens, it's time to let this blog sleep for good. 2,292 wacky post, 463 followers to see it all. It's literally been a great run here. Stay pretty and hope you have a fantastic week from here on out. :3

Pioxys Out~

[catacombsaint]

THE GOD DAMNED PHILLY RITUAL

oh my fucking god so much was happening LEMME START BY SAYING WE WERE UP AGAINST THE BARRIER SO WE WERE EXTREMELY CLOSE-- so first of all papa kept interacting with @silverthurible all night. like it started with him lifting his chasuble to flash his alb at him, and thurible reacted so strongly to it that papa was like OH THEES WEELL BE FUN and from that point on he kept coming over to make thurible lose it. he air humped during body and blood while looking him in the eye, he sang cirice to him, just, HE KEPT FUCKING GOING FOR THURIBLE BECAUSE HIS REACTIONS WERE SO FUNNY IT WAS BEAUTIFUL papa also was in great form in general. he was very singy and memey and just seemed like he was loving it. and then the ghouls oh my GOD so aether/chops and water/dewdrop were bein really fucking gay all night???? they were on our side of the stage and it started with chops coming up behind dew and getting really close to him, to which our entire group of queers was like !!!YES!!!!GIVE US THE GAYS!!!!! which they both seemed to notice so they Kept Fucking Doing It and getting closer and closer every time with chops resting his chin on dew's neck and it fucking climaxed in him LOOKING AT US KNOWINGLY AND sLAPPING DEW ON THE FUCKENING ASS AND WE ALL WENT FUCKING BERSERK LMFAO DEWCHOPS CONFIRMED the ghouls in general seemed to love the group of us because we were just......so passionate lmao. @rotten-weiler HAD HER FACE PAINTED LIKE KING DIAMOND AND DEW NOTICED AND WAS LIKE 👌🖒 AND WE ALL SCREEEEEAMED. also @giuliaghoulia brought a pair of panties that @rotten-weiler threw onstage during mummy dust and dew was immediately like 👀 and hung them on his bass then put them on his horns. OH SOMEONE ELSE THREW A PAIR OF PANTIES DURING PAPAS MONSTRANCE CLOCK SPEECH AND PAPA CAUGHT THEM PERFECTLY LIKE IT WAS THE SMOOTHEST SHIT IVE EVER SEEN LMAO so after the show we met [AETHER] and Ten Fingers. i'd already met [AETHER] in fresno and seeing him again just made me love him more tbh. he's such a good egg. so pure. i gave him all the cards i made for the böys and i messaged him on instagram this morning abt them so we'll see what he says. I THANKED HIM FOR SLAPPING [WATER] ON THE ASS AND HE WAS LIKE "AH YES HE HAS A LUVLY ARSE" and then someone mentioned the nicknames that we have for the ghouls, and [AETHER] asked about them, and he was really amused by them, and when we told him abt dewdrop, he was like "is that cuz hes like this big??" holding his hand at like waist level lmao. and then he told us a lil story about how they were goofing off with a weight scale a while back and hes like "it's funny, i stood on it then he did and hes literally half my weight AND I'M PRETTY THIN" ugh i could gush about him forever i just love that egg lmao SO THEN WE MET TERMINATED FRIENDSHIPS HIMSELF AND HES.......THE FIRST THING I SAID WAS "HES VERY SMALL" LOL. he's just as hideously pretty as i thought he would be, also his accent is a lot thicker than i imagined? his speaking voice is very timid. its weird like you can hear that its the same voice as papa but youre like "how do you make papas voice come out of you" lmao. but hes very sweet and attentive to everyone and spent a long time making sure everyone got things signed. thurible had a ton of art to give to him and when he handed all of it to him he was like "OKAY I HAVE TO GO" and pivoted to leave and Tabasco was like "hey wait!!" and softly grabbed him by the shoulders to stop him and spin him around and pull him into a hug. it was very Dad. also thurible asked him if jigolo would ever be played live and hE SAID IT WOULD BE IN THE SETLIST NEXT YEAR GHHH????? GOD CANT WAIT TO SPEND ALL OF MY MONEY EVER ON SEEING GHOST LOL other highlights: philly sheezsteak papa noticing a fight in the crowd and being like "HEY.......stop" lmao thanks baba ifrit's fucking goofball ass chair being a sleepy genie chops catching kisses from us and posing for us dewdrop noticing how hard we were stanning for him and playing his bass REALLY HARD FOR US meeting ppl from tumblr and reddit!! sorry if i seemed rude to anyone there was just a fucking LOT HAPPENING IT WAS TOO MUCH

[littlealeta]

Didn’t you just like my post about Rick being too soft? Why are you arguing with me about it?

“If you think being a good parent is what you’re describing and Rick becoming “softer” is such a bad thing to you, it sounds like you’ve got some discoveries to make about yourself on why that is.”

Don’t you know that treating your children like an equal is wrong because children don’t know better and need to be guided? Rick isn’t even doing that. He hasn’t been doing it the entire show and now he’s acting much more passive because of this stupid “equal partnership” bullcrap. Morty and Summer are fucked up because of him yet Rick isn’t even doing anything to punish their bullcrap or even help them.

“In the earlier seasons understand he was edgier, arguably funnier, but i don’t think him continuing down that path would’ve stayed too fresh for most of the audience. Could they have drawn it out longer? Absolutely, but I definitely think it’d be weird to regress him back at this point.”

Like I keep saying. Rick doesn’t have to go back to being an abusive control freak nor does he need to. But putting him on a more passive role and treating his grandkids more like “equals” is not the right direction for him and absolutely the last thing he should be doing considering how fucked up they are and how neglectful their parents are. I think making Rick this passive as well as not the goofball he used to be is kinda character bastardization so they should just automatically go back to some of his original personality and not use some dumbass transitional episode similar to what they did with Rick and Morty’s fake breakup.

“Also remember that progress isn’t a straight line. He’s still going to continue to do a lot of fucked up things, the creators have promised that.”

Yeah I figured, I mean self-improvement isn’t easy. This is just the beginning and I don’t think Rick is going to get over all his issues.

“Rick does plenty of wrong, and if you don’t realize that, you’re missing just about every message the show is trying to bring to you, particularly the ones of personal growth.Rick acting the way you’re saying you want him to would be regressing him into the cruel Reddit neckbeards’ wet dream.“

You think I don’t know how horrible of a monster Rick Sanchez is?

Look I know I keep saying stuff like replace Morty Smith and that he deserved the treatment in the Vat of Acid and put Summer back on the frundled planet but why is discipline a “cruel reddit neckbeards’ wet dream”? I mean corporal punishment is a divisive thing but Rick should be having authority over his grandchildren. That’s what being a parent is all about

he can’t disappoint them without feeling bad anymore 😶