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megalony · 7 months ago

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I Failed

This is my new Eddie Diaz imagine, as request, and filled with quite a lot of angst. I hope you will all like it, please let me know what you think.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyje @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra848484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

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Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Part 2

Summary: After a bad relationship, (Y/n)'s luck finally changed when she married Eddie. But she doesn't know what to do when she ends up miscarrying while she's home alone, and she doesn't want anyone to help her.

Enjoy.

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When a pair of hands found her hips, (Y/n)'s lips curved into a sly grin and she twisted her head to catch a glance over her shoulder. She locked eyes with Eddie for a few moments before his face tucked into the crook of her neck and she felt his lips attaching to her skin.

As his chest moulded up against her back, she went back to scouting through the cupboard above the kitchen counter until she found the painkillers. She popped two out and looked around for her glass while she felt Eddie's hands squeezing her hips tighter.

"Still got a headache?" He murmured softly into her neck while his thumbs traced up and down her hips.

He finally detached his lips from her neck so he could perch his chin on her shoulder. And his eyes watched intently as (Y/n) chugged back the two tablets with a grimace that caused her body to shudder in his arms.

(Y/n) hummed and took a few sips of juice until the tablets finally seemed to go down and settle properly.

The grimace on her face slowly began to fade when Eddie's hands slithered around her waist and his arms bound into her sides so his hands could slip beneath her pyjama top. Her body shuddered against his cold hands that made a point to trace along her abdomen and settle on either side of her bump like he was protecting the baby.

"Not feeling any better then?" He asked softly while his fingers continued to trace designs into her skin.

Now that (Y/n) was starting to show, Eddie seemed to wrap himself around her like a vine whenever he could, and (Y/n) loved it. She loved the feeling of his arms cocooning around her like this, like a protective blanket. And (Y/n) loved the fact that Eddie's eyes could never stop from straying down to her stomach every now and then.

She was nineteen weeks along now and finally had a round bump beginning to take prominence.

"Just a bit sick, I'm okay." (Y/n) tipped her head back into Eddie's shoulder and leaned into him while her hands moved down to hold his wrists. The headache she'd had all day was still present, and she was feeling a bit run down now, but she was relatively fine and she didn't want to make a fuss.

She felt Eddie whisper "Promise?" before he pecked her shoulder and she shivered in his arms. They both knew what that meant.

Before she met Eddie, (Y/n) had been in a bad relationship. It had been bad enough that when she started to date Eddie, any time he gave her a compliment, (Y/n) felt like she was waiting for a snide remark to follow. She was so used to keeping her feelings to herself and pushing through any illness she had so she wasn't 'causing problems' or making 'too much of a fuss about nothing.'

Eddie had been shocked to see how much confidence (Y/n) now seemed to have now she was with him. He hated to think of the difference in her, how uncertain and nervous she had been at the start of their relationship compared to now.

Now, she wasn't afraid to say if she felt ill or say if something was wrong, because she knew Eddie wasn't going to shout or start a fight or reach the point of throwing things. She knew they could talk things out and she could go where she wanted without having to tell Eddie or ask his permission for things.

But it was still hard, sometimes.

"I promise." (Y/n) turned to press a sweet kiss to Eddie's forehead which caused him to grin into her shoulder.

He knew that even though (Y/n) had told him this morning that she didn't feel great, she wouldn't necessarily tell him if she felt worse. She would try and push through it and carry on as normal and she wouldn't always tell him if she felt sick or even if she had been sick. Eddie knew (Y/n) was so used to keeping these things to herself.

He liked (Y/n) to promise him that she was okay and that she would actually tell him if she felt worse or if she needed anything.

They were married now, Eddie wanted (Y/n) to know he would always look after her and if she wasn't well then Eddie wanted to know.

"Good." Tilting his head up, Eddie caught her lips in a kiss and ran his thumbs up and down her waist. Before he slid his hands back round to her hips and carefully turned (Y/n) around in his arms. He felt her hands grip his shoulders to steady herself and her lips curved into a smile against his mouth.

His hands skimmed up and down her waist, ruffling the hem of her shirt around her hips. And when their lips parted, he nudged his nose against hers and pecked her cheek.

"You gonna be okay if I head to work? I'm on a double, won't be back until tomorrow night."

Eddie didn't like doing double shifts, but they were short staffed and he couldn't be the only one not doing extra shifts. It meant he would be working for twenty four hours and if it was a rushed shift, he probably wouldn't get any sleep in the bunkers either.

But he was sure the team would understand if he had to switch a shift around so he wasn't doing a double, he could pick up extra during the rest of the week if need be.

"We'll be fine." Pushing forward away from the counter, (Y/n) laid her head on Eddie's shoulder and looped her arms around his neck.

She was sure the time would fly by. She would take Chris to school in the morning, pick him up later on in the afternoon and they would cook tea together and dish some up for Eddie for when he came home later on.

It wasn't often that Eddie did double or a stretch of long shifts in a row, but when he did, (Y/n) and Chris tried to keep themselves busy.

"I'm not at work tomorrow anyway." It wasn't as if (Y/n) was going to have to head to work feeling a bit under the weather like this. She would most probably have a rest day tomorrow while Chris was at school if she still felt the same as she did now.

"Okay."

"I'll still miss you though." She murmured softly into his neck as her eyes fell closed and she cosied up to him a little more.

She could feel Eddie laughing into her hair where he pecked her temple and his hands began to run up and down her back beneath her shirt. He knew she would. He was going to feel exactly the same.

(Y/n) was starting to wish Eddie wasn't on a double shift anymore. She never knew what to do with herself when she didn't feel well and right now, she felt horrid.

Her head was pounding like someone was hitting it and using it as a drum and her stomach was spinning almost as much as the washing machine. She had been dithering for the last two hours, unsure whether she was going to be sick or if the toast she tried to eat for breakfast was just taking a long time to settle.

Her head flopped back on the cushion and she let a groan slip past her lips as she closed her eyes and wrapped both arms around her waist. Her knees coiled up and she shimmied to lay on her right side on the sofa. She couldn't keep her eyes open, she wanted to curl up and go to sleep. (Y/n) felt like sleep had been avoiding her all last night and it was still hiding just out of her reach now. And she didn't have the attention span to watch the movie playing in the background.

Her lips morphed into a grimace and her arms tightened into her lower chest when her stomach churned.

Maybe it would prove useful to go and get a hot bath or maybe even try to lie down in bed and see if she could sleep for a little while. She had time before she needed to get ready and collect Chris from school.

It had been a triumph this morning that (Y/n) managed to get herself and Chris up, ready and got him to school with the way she was feeling. She felt tired and lathargic but now she just felt sick and uneasy.

One hand moved to cradle her throbbing temple and she stiffled a groan as she slowly pushed up into a sitting position. It didn't do her head any favours; the room spun in circles and took a while to get back into focus.

Both hands moved to her thighs when she swung her legs over the sofa and wearily got to her feet. She managed a few steps away from the sofa before her body curled over and her hands moved to cup her stomach. Her stomach was cramping, and it didn't feel like a stomach bug or a sickness kind of cramp.

Her eyes slowly cast down as her hands stayed cradling her bump and she waited for a few seconds, maybe even a minute, to see if the feeling disappeared. She barely managed proper breaths as she stared at her stomach, suddenly wishing she could see through her skin to check on the baby.

It felt like her system was slowly equalising itself out so (Y/n) tried to take a few more steps.

Her legs quivered and pressed together when another, sharp pain tore through her abdomen that was starting to ache more prominently than before. She couldn't help but double over and lean forward as a gasp tumbled past her lips.

This wasn't good. Something didn't feel right.

A cry tumbled past (Y/n)'s lips when she slowly trailed her hand down towards her thighs and brought her trembling hand up to inspect.

Blood. Blood was just beginning to soak into her leggings and stick to her inner thighs. Oh, this didn't look good. Why was she bleeding? Why was she suddenly having cramps and pains? What was she supposed to do?

She wanted Eddie to come home.

Her lips quivered and she pushed her chin down into her chest and pressed both her hands tightly into her stomach again. A broken cry burst past her lips when another pain coursed through her stomach and she hurriedly grabbed her phone from the arm rest before she tried to stumble down the hall.

She was losing the baby.

(Y/n) coiled over until her bump was pressing into her thighs when the pain got worse. She felt like a duke box vibrating and pulsing with how hard and loud her pulse was throbbing in her veins.

What had she done? Why did she deserve this?

They wanted this baby. When they got married the first thing they talked about was having kids, and (Y/n) had been so happy when she showed Eddie the positive pregnancy test. She had seen the excitement in his eyes when he started to tell people they were going to have a baby. This is what they had been hoping for.

Eddie meant everything to (Y/n). After the trouble and the trauma she had been through with her ex, meeting Eddie and getting into a relationship with him was like finding a piece of Heaven on Earth. Having a baby would complete their family, and (Y/n) knew how badly Eddie wanted this and how thrilled he had been when he found out. He was always reaching for her bump and trying to hide his excitement about wanting to do the nursery soon.

What kind of wife was (Y/n) turning out to be if she lost their first baby together? She couldn't really call herself Eddie's wife if she couldn't do something so simple, something millions of other women had no trouble doing.

She wasn't supposed to lose the baby. She was supposed to give Eddie children, have many babies with him, not ruin things like this. The thought of Eddie's reaction made a cry scrape against her throat and she snapped her eyes closed as she stumbled into the bathroom.

She could feel the blood sticking between her thighs and making her legs itch with each cramp that burned through her abdomen and caused her body to start shaking. She felt like she was beginning to overheat, despite the cool air drifting through the house that only seemed to soak in the sun in the dining room.

Her legs felt like they were going to turn to jelly by the time she reached the bathroom and roughly slammed the door shut behind her.

She wasn't quite sure what to do or what she thought she might do but when her legs trembled, (Y/n) let herself flop down to her knees. Her right side slumped against the side of the bath and she fumbled with her phone.

The screen blurred in front of her eyes that were overflowing with tears that began to stream down her face like a waterfall. (Y/n) could barely manage to scroll through her messages and find Buck's number. She wasn't going to call him. She didn't want to risk him finding out something bad was happening, something horrid like this.

*Can you get Chris from school for me? Emergency.

There was no way (Y/n) was going to be able to go to school and pick Chris up in this state. And it wasn't as if she could gather her senses in a few hours and try to go get him after this episode was over. She needed someone to be able to look after Chris for her so she could stay home. So she could wallow and cry and try to think what to do next.

It was a relief that (Y/n) remembered Buck wasn't at work today, he had been on a double shift and should have finished this morning. She remembered Eddie saying he would only see Buck for half a shift as everyone was pulling stunted shifts while they were struggling for cover.

She barely managed to read Buck's reply, but when she registered that he had agreed, her trembling hands turned her phone off and tossed it away from her. She didn't want to have to explain what was happening. She didn't want to call Eddie or speak to anyone and she didn't want help. She wanted to be alone.

When she struggled out of her leggings, (Y/n) tried not to gag at the blood caking her inner thighs. This was actually happening. One of (Y/n)'s worst nightmares was coming true, and she had no idea what she was supposed to do now.

A broken sob bubbled past her lips as she bound her arms around her waist and doubled forward.

She wanted this baby. Seeing Eddie's face when she took the test had been one of the best moments of her life. She was finally allowed to have her own life, have the family she always wanted, and with someone who truly loved her. Eddie had been so patient in their relationship after what (Y/n) had been through in the past. He took things at her pace, he was always loving and understanding and never put any blame on her for anything.

And now, (Y/n) couldn't do something so simple and sweet for Eddie like giving him a baby. She'd messed it all up.

What had she done? Why did she deserve this?

(Y/n) felt like she had gone deaf when she screamed but no sound broke through the barrier building up in her ears. Every part of her body began to shake back and forth when she looked down at the life she had just lost. The life she was supposed to nurture and protect. Gone. Destroyed. Evicted.

With trembling hands, she reached out for the towels hanging on the rack beside the door. She laid one over the baby and shuffled back towards the sink. She wanted as much space between her and the sight of what she'd done.

She slumped onto her bum and tried to swab the other towel over her thighs, trying in vain to clean up the blood beginning to smear onto the tiles.

Ragged breaths ran away from her and her chest burned as she began to hyperventilate.

(Y/n) began to rub her palms furiously up and down her exposed thighs, creating burnt red streaks up and down her flesh. She could feel the blood sticking between her thighs and making her legs itch with each cramp that burned through her abdomen and her body was still shaking back and forth like she was sat in the Arctic.

She pushed back a little more until she was wedged into the small space between the bath and the sink. Cramped into the corner like some strange ornament trying to blend in and become invisible. Her arms cocooned around her legs, pinning her knees into her aching, cramping stomach that was throbbing like she was being stabbed.

What was she going to do? What kind of conversation was she going to have with Eddie when he eventually came home? How was she going to explain to him that she had lost their baby while he'd been out at work?

She couldn't tell him. She didn't want Eddie to come home. She couldn't face him.

How angry was he going to be with her when he found out what she'd done? He was going to be so upset. She had lost their baby. His baby. She wasn't the perfect wife or mother she wanted to be after doing this. What kind of wife lost her first baby like this? She had let Eddie down, and she didn't want to be the one to tell him what she'd done and face his reaction.

How long before he would come home? How long could she stay cooped up in here and wallow without anyone finding her? Maybe she would pass out soon and then she wouldn't have to panic about telling Eddie if she passed out and didn't wake up again.

She didn't deserve Eddie after doing this to him.

***

Eddie shrugged his shirt over his head, trying to ignore the ache in his back that no doubt was going to be bruised by this evening. He had taken a fall when a gas leak caused a minor explosion in a bakery. It felt like the whole of his spine from his neck to his coccyx was bruised and beginning to swell, but he was sure it felt worse than it was.

He tucked the hem of his shirt into his trousers, glad to be in clothing that didn't smell of smoke and didn't have droplets of oil and dirt and odours of smoke woven into the fabric.

He rolled his shoulders and clicked his neck into place, but just as he went to shut his locker door, his phone started to vibrate. He reached up onto the top shelf and grabbed his phone.

"Hey Buck." Eddie tried not to sound bewildered or confused and kept his tone light. He had seen Buck last night when he came on shift, and he waved him goodbye when he left shift at ten this morning. Did he miss Eddie that much that he thought he had to call and check in on him at work? They would be seeing each other tomorrow when Buck came round for tea anyway.

"Hey, is everything okay?"

"Yeah… why?"

A small laugh tumbled past Eddie's lips as his free hand moved to his hip. Why wouldn't he be okay? Why would something be wrong? Nothing had gone wrong this shift and no one on the team were injured or had made a call or texted Buck to give him the impression something was amiss.

"(Y/n) asked me to get Chris from school, she said something about an emergency. But she's not answering, I just wanted to check everything's alright and if he's staying for tea."

Buck had been a bit worried when (Y/n) didn't reply to him. He sent her a round of texts to ask what the emergency was, if she needed any help and if he could do anything. When she didn't reply, he sent her a few more asking her to tell him if she was okay so he didn't have to worry, but her lack of response was making him panic.

She wasn't one to ask for favours and she had never had an emergency before or reached out for Buck during an emergency. He couldn't stop worrying and he just wanted to check everything was okay, and see if Chris was staying to have tea with him or not. He was more than happy to have Chris for as long as needed, but he had to be reassured (Y/n) and Eddie were okay.

"Oh, shit I- I haven't heard anything from her. Let me see what's going on and I'll call you back."

"Okay, no worries."

Anxiety started to pool in Eddie's stomach once he hung up. What kind of emergency would (Y/n) be having? What would be wrong? He couldn't think what kind of emergency she would be having and she wasn't one to leave Buck worrying. They were both worriers at heart and (Y/n) wasn't one for being cryptic.

Eddie clicked on her contact but his heart hammered against his ribs when the phone didn't even ring. It went straight to voicemail. Pulling back, he switched to text message and sent a short text.

*Sweetheart, everything okay? Buck said you had some emergency, are you alright? x

When a minute ticked by and he didn't get a reply, Eddie's foot began to tap against the floor and he tried to ring her again. It didn't work; straight to voicemail again. Once the third ring didn't work either, Eddie could feel worry sparking in his stomach like the first flickers of a fire that was going to spread and consume his body in no time.

He shoved his phone into his pocket, grabbed his keys from his locker and hurried out the locker room to find Bobby.

"Bobby, I- I've got an emergency at home, I really need to go and make sure everything's okay. I'll pick up a shift tomorrow to make up the hours, I swear." He didn't want to leave them short-handed when he was supposed to be here for another four hours and they were already down on staff.

But what other choice did he have? (Y/n) could be unconscious. She could have had a fall. She could have been caught up in a situation somewhere in town or she could be ill at home. Something was definitely wrong and she wasn't answering the phone, Eddie couldn't stay here and panic, he had to make sure she was okay.

"Of course, head home. You're over your hours anyway Eddie, it's fine." The nod of Bobby's head was all Eddie needed to smile gratefully in his direction and bolt towards the car park.

He could feel his anxiety dwelling with each passing second on the ride home. He had never wanted to get home so fast and the journey seemed to triple as the seconds dragged into minutes which felt like hours.

Every possibility flashed before Eddie's eyes until he was choking on air, gasping at all the horrible thoughts that might be happening. (Y/n) might not even be at home. An emergency could happen anywhere and for all Eddie knew, his wife could be out at the shops or with a friend or somewhere on her own. She could of had an accident in the car or on the street or witnessed some horrid situation. Anything was possible and Eddie didn't like all the things his worried mind was coming up with.

He wasn't sure whether he was relieved or not to find (Y/n)'s car in the drive when he finally pulled up.

That meant she probably was home, but she could still be out. But if she was home, then some kind of emergency had happened at home, and that limited Eddie's thoughts on what might be going on.

He could barely get his key in the door with how his hands were beginning to shake.

"Amor? Are you here… everything okay, what's the emergency?" His eyes were rabid as they scanned around the house, trying to figure out where his wife was.

Eddie had seen her shoes and bag beside the door the moment he walked in, so she had to be here. The living room was empty, the tv was paused on the movie channel, waiting for the pin code to play the next movie lined up on the channel. He peered into the dining room and then the kitchen, but both were void and empty.

His heart began to hammer away at his chest when he headed down the hall. It felt like he was walking into the unknown.

He would of aimed straight for the bedroom, if he hadn't looked to the left and noticed the bathroom door was closed. It was only closed if someone was in there, otherwise they left it open as a general yet unspoken rule.

She was in there. Eddie knew it. If the horrible, twisting feeling in his gut wasn't enough to tell him that his wife was in there, it was the quiet yet unmistakeable whimper he heard which told him she was in there.

When he reached down, Eddie could feel his heart pulsing in dismay at the fact that the door was locked. No one else was home. Why had she locked the door? Had she done that before or after he walked in the front door? Did she know he was here? Did she not want him to see her? He lightly rapped his knuckles on the door and slumped his forehead against the wood.

"Baby? Baby it's me, open the door for me please."

"No," The meek response showed how croaky her voice was from crying and something about her voice sounded weak or maybe even broken. It shattered Eddie's heart into a million pieces.

"Why not? (Y/n) you're frightening me, what's the matter?" What was Eddie supposed to do if she didn't open the door and let him help?

How was he supposed to know what was going on or how to help her if she didn't talk to him or let him in? She could be hurt and Eddie standing out here wasn't going to make it any better. He needed to be in there with her, looking after her and sorting out whatever emergency she was going through. Not stood out here, shut out like he was a nosy neighbour who shouldn't be involved.

"You can't… I've- Eddie, go."

Another feeble cry left (Y/n)'s lips as she tried to drag the towel off her lap and slide it along the floor in a vain attempt to clean the blood. But all she managed was to create streak marks into the tiles along with the crumbling skids of blood that were already beginning to dry. Even the towel was starting to dry out and become crimped and hard from the cracked blood drying like paint.

She let go of the towel and resided to curl her arms around her knees and bring them back to her stomach that was pulsing in waves. Her head was splitting like a coconut. Her body was trembling and vibrating with pain. She felt sick. She wanted to pass out, but she hadn't managed it so far.

Why did Eddie have to come home early? Why couldn't he stay at work or go and be with Buck and Chris? He shouldn't have to witness the trouble she'd caused or see what she had done.

(Y/n) didn't want him to know how badly she had failed.

"No, no I can't do that mi amor. I need you to open the door because I know something's wrong. I'll break it if I have to." Sorrow flooded Eddie's voice and he snapped his eyes closed and meshed his face against the door when he heard (Y/n)'s sob.

He didn't want to. Eddie didn't want to break the door to get inside, he wanted (Y/n) to unlock it and let him help. But if she wasn't going to let him in and she was injured or wasn't well or somehow hurt, then Eddie didn't have a choice. She didn't sound like she was looking after herself in there, she sounded panicked and frightened and that was frightening Eddie.

He had to get in there to help her and see what was going on, and he didn't care what he had to do in order to help his wife.

He waited. Eddie counted for just over a minute, but the only reply he got was (Y/n)'s frightened sobs and the sound of her either kicking or slumping into the side of the bath which created a plastic echo in the bathroom. Her cries made dread amplify and vibrate through his stomach.

"Oh fuck." He dragged his hand across his face before he stepped back. "Amor get away from the door."

With his hands braced on either side of the door frame, Eddie leaned his upper body back and lifted his right leg. He slammed his foot just beneath the door handle, glad he was still wearing his work boots which added an extra bang and some extra weight to his kick. The lock was only a simple sliding bolt and the feeble metal broke instantly with the right amount of force from Eddie's swift kick.

Eddie whacked his hand against the door when it swung back towards him, barging it open as he bolted inside.

"Amor, what… Dios, what happened?"

He couldn't breathe.

What the Hell happened while he had been at work?

Every part of his body broke out in trembles when he knelt down on the floor, unsure which direction to move in first. There was blood soaked into the tiles. Towels lathered in blood scrunched up to his left, another discarded near the sink on his right.

Tears welled up in his eyes when he set his sights on (Y/n). She was sat between the bath and the sink, her legs curled beneath her with her back slumped against the side of the bath and both arms tightly secured around her waist. He could see all the tears she had shed, drenched into her face and around her puffy eyes that wouldn't stop watering. Her teeth had bitten into her lower lip enough to make it bleed. She was trembling back and forth, causing the plastic edge of the bath to jutter and bang every now and then.

When he looked to the left again, Eddie tried to reach out for the two towels piled in the corner. The more he looked over the scene, the more he began to realise what had happened and it made his heart drop to his gut like a ten tone weight.

But before he could even touch the towels, he felt (Y/n)'s hands latching around his arm and she yanked him towards her with some force.

"Don't! L- leave them…" The terror woven into her voice made Eddie's breath catch in his throat, but he hated how she let go of him and retreated from him.

He was right. She'd miscarried. She'd had the baby and he hadn't even been here to support her and help her through this. (Y/n) had gone through this on her own, and Eddie had been completely oblivious. He hadn't gotten home in time. He hadn't been here when she needed him. He was supposed to look after her and protect her, and he'd done neither of those things when (Y/n) needed him the most.

"Baby-" He shuffled closer but his lips pursed when (Y/n) shook her head and bound her arms around her waist. She pressed her face into her knees that she brought up so that her legs were imbedded in her stomach which clearly made her whimper in agony.

He shuffled closer and carefully slid his hands around the back of her calves to pull her legs down so she couldn't hide behind them. Pressing into her stomach wasn't going to dull down the cramps or make her feel any better.

"Amor, amor hey it's alright, come here… come here." When she tried to fight his arms off, Eddie persevered until he had her face cupped in his hands.

His thumbs smoothed over her cheekbones, wiping away the tremendous amounts of tears distorting her vision and soaking into her skin. His knees touched her thigh and he rested his temple against hers as he felt (Y/n)'s hands grip his wrists so tightly she started to cut off the circulation to his fingertips. But it was better than her trying to push him away.

"I- I'm sorry," The way her lower lip wobbled made Eddie choke on a cry he desperately tried to keep at bay.

"Oh baby, don't say that." Eddie smoothed his thumbs beneath her eyes and tilted her head down so he could press a slow, wet kiss to her temple. "Let me look at you."

He gently let go of her face and tried to run his hands down her waist to her thighs, but (Y/n) shook her head. She grabbed his hands and pulled them back up towards her chest as she began to cry.

"No."

"Baby I need to check you over-"

"I've failed. I couldn't… I couldn't-" Words tumbled past her lips in a flurry that Eddie couldn't make head nor tail of. But he hated the path her mind was trying to take her down.

How could she even think that? How could she convey this situation into her doing something wrong? She hadn't decided for this to happen or done this on purpose. This wasn't a bad choice (Y/n) had made in a moment of weakness. This was something totally out of anyone's control and Eddie needed to look after her and seemingly take her to the hospital with the state she was in.

"I lost them." (Y/n) kept tight hold of Eddie's wrists, but she couldn't stop her trembling hands from jostling in the direction of the towel on the other side of the room. The towel she didn't want Eddie to touch or go near.

The towel she had been staring at for the last two hours, unable to look away from the life she had lost. The baby she had evicted. Eddie's baby. The one thing (Y/n) had been dreaming about since they decided to start a family together. They wanted a baby, and they had been close; so close, and (Y/n) had gone and ruined everything. She had let everybody down.

"(Y/n), listen to me. You haven't done anything wrong, alright? This- this just happens sometimes. Now I need to take you to hospital." Eddie kissed her temple when she bowed her head and shuddered.

They couldn't stay cooped up in the bathroom and judging by the blood (Y/n) had lost, this hadn't been a swift process. Eddie had no choice, he had to take her to the hospital to make sure she was okay. She could get an infection, she was probably dehydrated after this and she could have any number of complications from something so traumatic as this. He couldn't help her here at home.

Reaching up for her hands, he carefully looped her arms around his neck and moved his hands to her waist as he pushed onto his feet rather than his knees. But when he tried to hoist (Y/n) up with him, she scrambled to grab the side of the bath.

"No!" She used the bath as leverage and sank back down to the floor with a thud that made her cry out and coil in on herself again. While Eddie dropped back down into a crouching position and reached out for her hips.

"Amor, baby I have to get you to a doctor-" Eddie paused when (Y/n) took him by surprise and pushed forward into him. "What's wrong?"

He murmured softly into her hair as he pressed his lips against the top of her head and curved his arms around her. He cradled the back of her neck while his other arm looped around her waist to hold her tighter. He let her burrow into his chest, overwhelmed with relief that she was huddling into him instead of pushing him away.

He could feel (Y/n)'s hands digging into his upper back as she clutched him like she thought he was about to vanish or walk away from her. As if he would do that. Her face pressed into his chest enough that each breath she took fanned against Eddie's shirt and made his chest dampen. He started to glide his hand up and down her back, waiting patiently for her to tell him what was wrong.

"I can't." Her voice was meek and defeated as she spoke into Eddie's chest, not daring to look up at him.

"Why not, baby?"

"I f-failed… I don't- I don't deserve any help."

Eddie wasn't sure if someone could physically die of heartache, but he knew if it was possible, then how he felt now was exactly what it would be like.

She was breaking his heart. Why would she think something like that? Had Eddie done something to make (Y/n) feel like she would fail if this happened? Had he inadvertently said or done something that panicked (Y/n) into thinking he would lash out or make her feel bad if she ever lost their baby?

Eddie would never do that. He didn't know why (Y/n) was under the impression that she had to be punished for something like this or why she thought she had done something wrong. But she hadn't. Eddie would never let anyone make her feel that way. What happened today was just a horrid experience that occurred to them for no apparent reason.

(Y/n) didn't need to be punished for this and it didn't mean she deserved this pain or didn't deserve to be treated and helped at hospital.

"(Y/n), baby, listen to me. You've just had a miscarriage, you deserve help more than anyone and you haven't done anything wrong here, okay? Now please, please let me look after you and take you to hospital."

He wasn't waiting for a reply, and he wasn't going to argue this any longer. Eddie looped her arms back around his neck and picked her up without giving her any room to argue. He had to get her dressed and take her to a doctor, it was non-negotiable.

He hadn't been there for her when this happened, but he was going to make sure he looked after her now.

***

"Get off."

"Baby please-"

"I wanna go home!" The shrill tone to (Y/n)'s voice made Eddie shake but he acted faster when she tried to climb off the bed.

His arms bound around her middle and he held her into his chest, pushing her down onto the bed so she couldn't try and scramble out of the room. She was going to hurt herself. He wasn't stupid, he had seen the blood coating her thighs again, she was starting to haemorrhage. (Y/n) could think again if she thought Eddie was letting her go home in this state.

His lips attached to her shoulder and he felt her hands trembling between them as she tried to break out of his arms.

The nurse couldn't even get an IV in the back of her hand, (Y/n) was fighting them on every aspect.

But when Eddie felt her hands shifting between them, his brows pulled into a frown and he pulled back. He reached down quickly when he realised her arms were pinned into her waist and she was pressing and scratching her hands into her stomach. She was going to hurt herself.

"Don't do that-"

A flurry of words escaped (Y/n)'s lips as she pressed her temple down into Eddie's shoulder and let out a scream that Eddie was sure ended in "-lost our baby!"

When he looked up at the nurse with tears drenching his face, his shoulders sagged and he curled himself more around (Y/n) when he saw what she was getting ready.

They were going to sedate her. Maybe it would be for her own good, if they sedated her she could rest while they checked her over.

"Oh baby,"

Tilting his head to one side, Eddie rolled his lips together as he leaned over and reached his hand down for (Y/n)'s hand. He stayed perched on the side of the bed next to her thigh and brushed his thumb up and down the back of her right hand.

He ran his free hand down his chin and along his jaw while he watched (Y/n)'s eyes flutter open. He had been waiting a while for her to wake up. No one had wanted to sedate (Y/n), but it had been the only choice if they were going to look after her and stop her haemorrhage getting any worse.

The look in her eyes showed she was groggy, rightfully so, and it took her a few seconds to look round and realise where they were and what was going on.

But the moment her hands tore away from him and moved down to her stomach, Eddie visibly flinched and moved to hold her thigh instead. He hated the tears that welled up in her eyes and how she tilted her head back as she began to silently let the tears fall.

"I- I hoped it was a nightmare." Her voice was hollow and her tone was broken which in turn broke the little piece of Eddie's soul he was trying to hold together.

"How you feeling, amor?"

"Like a failure."

(Y/n) adverted her eyes down to her stomach when she heard Eddie click his tongue. He probably thought the same. She pulled her lower lip between her teeth to stop herself from bursting into tears and shuffled down while she tried to bring her knees up to her stomach.

But she stopped when Eddie moved. She thought he was getting off the bed, that he was going to walk out the room and leave her like this. And he had every right after what she had done. (Y/n) gasped when Eddie shuffled round and nudged her up so he could squeeze onto the edge of the bed with her.

His arm looped over her waist and his lips attached to the side of her head, causing more floodwaves to burst down her face. (Y/n) wanted to turn the other way so she wouldn't have to see the anger or sympathy circling in his eyes, but Eddie's strong arm over her waist stopped her from moving away from him.

"Me too."

His words confused her and (Y/n) gingerly tilted her head back to look up at him, but Eddie had already closed his eyes and attached his lips to her head.

"What?"

"I failed at everything." He murmured into her hair while his hand started to stroke up and down her hip. "I tried saving my team in the army, didn't do any good, all of them are dead now. I thought I did okay with Shannon, but she left me before she died. You're the only good thing in my life, and I couldn't even take care of you when you needed me. I screw up everything I do."

Eddie couldn't open his eyes. He knew if he did, he wouldn't be able to see his wife, all he would do was burst into tears and see every mistake he's made in his life.

He tried. God, how Eddie tried. He got everyone out of that mess in their helicopter crash. He carried them, he shielded them, he took bullets for them and Eddie came home with most of them. The ones who didn't die out there. And what did it achieve? Eddie was the last man standing, the only one who hadn't fired a bullet into his brain or drove his car into a lorry.

He hadn't done right by Shannon all the time. He went back for another tour in the army when she needed him. But he tried when he came home. He put his broken pieces back into the odd shape of a man and tried to be a husband and father, until she left. And he tried even harder when she came back, but nothing Eddie did was good enough, and if Shannon hadn't died she would of left him anyway.

(Y/n) was the shining light in Eddie's world of darkness. She had been the one good thing he had other than Chris and he strived to do right by them. He strove to be a good husband, the best he could be, a better partner than her abusive monster of an ex.

And when (Y/n) needed him the most, Eddie turned up late, after everything had already happened and she went through a traumatic loss without him. He didn't help anyone, Eddie failed all of them.

"That's different." (Y/n) shifted her hands from her empty stomach to cradle Eddie's arm that was draped over her chest.

"Why?"

"You didn't kill them or lose them, you didn't fail,"

"And neither did you." If Eddie wasn't at fault then neither was (Y/n). He didn't want her thinking she had done something wrong when she couldn't help what she had been through.

(Y/n) could feel her lower lip wobbling and she pulled on Eddie's arm, pulling it down from her chest until it was pinned across her stomach that felt hollow. She felt like she had a piece missing and she didn't know how to put the rest of her pieces back together to make up for that loss.

She felt Eddie shudder against her and he couldn't seem to breathe when his fingers skimmed across her stomach before he moved to grip her waist instead.

"I'm not a good wife, I c- I couldn't even have our baby." She twisted to the side and burrowed her face into Eddie's chest while his arm looped tighter around her waist and his hand pressed down against her back.

"Please don't say that. If I didn't fail, neither did you, this wasn't your fault. We're gonna be okay."

His lips attached to the top of her head when he felt (Y/n)'s arm wind around his torso and felt her shuffle even closer into his chest until they were practically merged into one.

Eddie didn't want her thinking like that. She hadn't done anything wrong, but he didn't know how to show or convince her otherwise.

He would just have to shower her with love and show her that they would get through this.

#imagine #911 imagine #eddie diaz x reader #pregnant! reader #eddie x reader #eddie diaz family #eddie diaz imagine #eddie diaz #bobby nash

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mydear-corinthian · 1 year ago

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A Peaky Blinder || Shelby Family x reader

Synopsis: You encountering an assaulter while drinking on the Garrison pub. Pairing: Shelby Family x sister! reader (except for Finn & Ada) Warnings: sexual assault, gun violence, mentions of blood, and swearing Notes: Not proofread, there are some grammatical errors Click here to find the main masterlist. Click here to find the PEAKY BLINDERS masterlist.

This week feels like hell.

Loads of men barging in the shop, betting and betting like there was no tomorrow. As the accountant of the family and the business, it felt like hell.

A drink would help you stress down after a week of non-stop working. The trip to the family's tavern, the Garrison, was simple-- taking a short route there instead of the long way.

You opened the doors of the Garrison, immediately sitting down on the counter. You sat down, taking a deep sigh.

"Hello, (y/n). What drink do you want?" Harry, the bartender, asked you as soon as he saw you sitting down.

"It's alright, Harry. I'll get it," you replied, grabbing the big glass of bottle filled with your family's most famous drink, Gin, behind the counter's cupboard in front of you.

You opened the lid, tossing it at the side of the table, chugging the drink down.

"Rough week, innit?" Harry asked, wiping the unused glasses.

"Very rough week, Harry," you replied, taking a deep sigh.

"Why would people risk betting their money for a what? A race? It's funny but hey, who am I to judge? At least they're helping us work the business out."

The talk with you and Harry kept on going until both of your heads turned, looking at the doors after hearing them open harshly.

Three men entered the tavern. Dirty suits, hats on, and cigarettes designing their lips.

They walked up to the counter just beside you as they started to state their order.

"3 glasses of whiskey for us," you heard one of them order.

You just went on with your drink, Harry muttering an 'excuse me' to you before he was out of your sight, giving the 3 gentlemen their order.

"Slow down, love," you heard one of them.

You turned your head to them and tilted. "Sorry?"

"I said slow down drinking. You're too pretty to drink this whole bottle of yours to yourself.. and too pretty to be a whore either," he commented, looking up and down at you, licking his lips slowly.

He just called you a whore.

"What did you just call me, sir?" you asked in disbelief. You got up slowly, crossing your arms together, looking up at him.

"Ah, I get it. You're a feisty one, eh? A feisty whore.. I like it." he chuckled, his finger tracing your cheeks and then your curves.

"Fuck off, prick,"

Encounters like this in the Garrison were unfortunately normal. Weird, uncomfortable men doing this to women every day.

It was indeed normal but you can't help but be disappointed and sad for the women. Getting treated like this by men.

"Don't you fucking touch me," you shouted, slapping his hand off you.

You felt a hand gripping your jaw, your body pressed up on the counter. "How about I fuck you on this counter? Let these men watch us?" he whispered in your ear, his hand grabbing your hips harshly.

Mentally, you want to grab your gun and shoot him, on his groin, specifically.

and why not do it?

You turned your body, now facing him. A smile formed on your face. Your hands roam around his face and down there. Your hand cupped his manhood earning him a soft moan.

"Sir, I want to do something here.." you innocently said, your eyes meeting his and licking your lips slowly.

"Go on, love. Do it," he replied, and his two other friends laughed.

Your other hand was free, you used this opportunity to grab the small gun on your small bag and immediately fired his groin.

You let go of your hands on his right away. Blood is painted on your palm. You laughed, laughed at the sight in front of you.

The feeling of victory sprawled all over you. Finally putting men like him into their proper places and what they deserve.

He screamed in pain, cussing you out with all the swear words he knows.

Your brothers, except Finn and your older sister, Ada, rushed out of their small compartment just near the counter, guns in their hands.

You heard your older brother shout, "What the fuck is going on here!?"

Polly was with them, she looked at you and the man, she immediately knew what happened and she couldn't help but paint her face with a smirk.

"This whore shot my dick!" the man replied angrily, pressing his manhood, giving it pressure to avoid more blood coming out of it while his free hand was on your dress, gripping it near your neck.

Your brother's facial expression changed into disbelief when they heard the man calling you, their sister, a whore. Tommy inspected the man by looking at him up and down, mentally planning on how to take him down.

John scoffed in disbelief too, he grabbed his gun from his breast pocket immediately and pointed it directly at the man who assaulted you. He, then, harshly asked him, "Are you calling my sister a whore?"

Hearing John's question made your assaulter's eye widen in fear and appalled. He knew he fucked up. He knew he was going to get harshly beaten up-- or worse, die.

"Sister? I-I didn't know she was your sister, Mr. S-Shelby." he stammered. His head shaking violently, begging for forgiveness for what he did to you.

Rolling your eyes, you slapped his face. "Great. Now you respect me because I'm a Shelby and not because I'm a woman, and put the gun down, John. I'll handle this, it's my issue."

"We're here for backup, (y/n), alright?" Arthur commented.

You sighed, your gun still in your hand.

"Look, mister. What you did pissed me off and did not help me calm down after an exhausting fucking week but since I want to show mercy, you are lucky. You are free to go."

The 2 men ran away straightly to the tavern's doors, exiting the bar in no time. Your injured assaulter bowed his head many times and muttered a 'thank you' while limply running to the exit.

"Get out of my bar now, my mercy expires in 10 seconds," you said, massaging your temples out of stressfulness.

The man was still inside the Garrison after 10 seconds but he was already close to the exit, still limping.

You shot the floor, just near his legs. He ran faster until he was finally outside of the bar.

You laughed again at the sight. You turned the safety lock of your gun again before bringing it back inside of your black purse.

You heard slow claps coming from your brothers and your aunt. They walked toward you while clapping.

"Handled it like a true Peaky Blinder. I'm proud of 'ya, sis." your oldest brother congratulated you. Put his arm over the back of your shoulders and gave you a side hug.

Polly cupped both of your cheeks, caressing it with her finger slowly. "I'm proud of you, (y/n). Your mother would be so proud of you." She smiled lovingly. She cannot contain her happiness after what you did.

"Wait- you said you had a stressful week? Is it because of the overtime at the betting shop?" John interrupted, recalling what you said earlier and made him ask you about it.

You nodded in response, "Yeah. There were a lot of customers and being an accountant isn't easy, y'know?"

Tommy inhaled his half-full cigarette while listening to the conversation. He doesn't want to see his sister being stressed because of work so he planned on giving you a paid leave. "If it's like that then you can leave for a while and be back once you're good. Michael can be our accountant until you come back."

You shook your head, rejecting his offer. "It's alright, Tommy. I can handle it but is it okay if I'll just work on half-days instead of full days?"

"If that's want you want then it's fine with me," Tommy answered.

THE END

#peaky blinders #peaky blinder fanfic #peaky blinders x reader #thomas shelby x reader #arthur shelby x reader #john shelby x reader #thomas shelby #tommy shelby #arthur shelby #john shelby #polly gray

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sheafrotherdon · 3 months ago

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Andy is all furious wakefulness and stubborn refusal until they get to the safe house; until Nicky slides a hand under her elbow as she clambers out of the car, pointedly ignoring her hiss of protest.

Nile is fascinated.

The whirlwind of the past few days is a hum beneath her skin so loud she thinks perhaps she’ll never sleep again. Her mind can’t process the breadth of change let loose in her blood, so she focuses on Andy, on the way she leans into Nicky just a fraction, the way Nicky murmurs something in a language Nile doesn’t know.

There’s a history here, between them, that Nile can only guess at; roles being played out for the thousandth time. Andy leans on Nicky a little more, and Nicky takes her weight, guides her through the open door of the house that’s located god only knows where. He sets her in a kitchen chair and crouches before her and she bats at his hands as he reaches for her shirt. Nicky looks up at her, a perfectly blank expression on his face, and Andy mutters, “Oh, Jesus Christ.”

Nile feels laughter bubble up in her throat.

Joe is peering in the refrigerator, a solemn look on his face. “I guess I can . . .” He gestures half-heartedly at the contents. “It’ll be warm,” he adds as Nile closes the door of the house behind them, throws the lock because who knows what happens next. She leans back against the solid wood, watches silently as Joe piles vegetables on the counter, pulls oil from a cupboard.

Vegetables. “Who the hell supplied those?” she asks.

“I’m fine,” says Andy, and Nile looks in her direction, sees Nicky peeling back the last corner of the dressing against the wound in Andy’s hip. He tsks, and says something firm in rapid Italian, and Andy rolls her eyes but relaxes a little under his hands.

“Copley arranged it,” says Joe, as if the minute drama of Nicky’s immovability in the face of Andy’s annoyance isn’t happening. “Look in the pantry. We could use some bread.”

But Nile’s world tilts into dizziness for a second, sliding out from under her feet, the whole room and everyone in it swaying. She sets her jaw and breathes through it, swallows until the tile beneath her becomes firm. “Can I just?” And she pulls out a chair beside Andy, fumbles her way to sit there, splays her hands on the table.

Joe looks over his shoulder at the same time that Andy tilts her head and Nicky raises an eyebrow.

“Joe,” Nicky says, and Joe moves toward Nile. Her instinct to fight engages for a white-hot second, but his hand on her shoulder is gentle, and he ducks his head to look her in the eye.

“You need some water, okay? Stay still. It’ll pass.”

Andy fumbles a hand to rest on Nile’s knee, and Nicky nods his encouragement.

The world is a thousand times more fucked than she knew, and her best guess at where she’s sitting is ‘England,’ and these people are so old and so kind and absolutely fucking lethal.

“Goddamn motherfucking piece of shit day,” she says out loud, and Joe snorts his response as he sets a glass of water in front of her.

Andy looks at her with the expression of a woman who has designs on getting drunk. “Amen,” she says quietly, and Nile can’t help but say it back.

#nile freeman #andromache the scythian #yusuf al kaysani #nicolo di genova #tog #team #affection #kindness

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garagepaperback · 8 months ago

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a barely lit path | currently 46k

Harry wakes up wanting to live, Draco seems determined to - well, not die, exactly, but you could hardly call it a life, either.

“It’s—” Draco hadn’t asked, but Harry answered anyway, “it’s just really barren. I have like, a table and chairs and stuff, but I dunno. It doesn’t feel like anyone lives there,” he laughed helplessly, “I moved in after Ginny broke it off with me and it was supposed to be temporary, and then nothing else felt right, or I—I don’t know. It’s just, nothing. And I don’t know how to make it something. It’s really embarrassing.” They were sitting very close, looking at each other closely. Harry was full, and happy, even though so much of it was empty, and embarrassing. It crossed the tongue coarse to say, but it didn’t overwhelm him. The uncomfortable truth peeled out easy and ready, clearing a space as it went. “It’s not your fault,” Draco replied, very quietly, like if he was soft enough, he could settle into the newly-made rift, “you’ve just got such a dreadful sense of interior design.” Harry laughed, too loud for how little space was left between them and Draco smiled, pressed the refuge under Harry’s mouth, moving up his cheek. “I can’t help it,” He said, tenderness lilting the words, “I grew up in a cupboard.” Draco’s mouth twisted, leaning in as the rest of the distance between them squeezed and shattered apart. He didn’t kiss him. Instead he pressed his forehead against Harry’s, bone against brow and rolled only slightly so that the tip of his nose nudged into cheek, pushing Harry’s glasses up like he was trying to erode every sense of separation, to ruin the impression that Harry’d ever felt an empty space at all. It was stupid. He couldn’t, they couldn’t do that for each other, it didn't make sense, didn't undo every other thing, and still. It worked. Draco held him and it was nearly nothing and it worked. For a near-century of moments, Harry believed the soft hollow of his jaw had been forged not empty, not barren, but simply as a waiting shape for Draco to fit into.

ch 4 is now up <3

read it on ao3

#drarry fic #drarry #drarry fanfic #draco x harry #harry x draco

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vmsplusblog · 2 months ago

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Modern Glass Wardrobe Design | VMS Plus

Like your kitchen, the bedroom is where you spend most of your time at home. In the bedroom, the wardrobe is the primary piece of furniture next to your bed, and it has a vital role in keeping your clothing essentials organised and protected from any damage. You can incorporate glass in these wardrobe designs, and you won’t regret it!

Different homeowners have different ideas for their modern glass wardrobe design. Some choose from L-shaped, phone booth-shaped, or loft-style wardrobes for style. There are more to choose from for the type of glass used: frosted, vintage, patterned, lacquered, and translucent.

Some other wardrobe design ideas include the following:

1. Sliding glass wardrobe design.

This is precisely how it sounds and is a perfect fit for not-so-big bedrooms. The sliding glass provides much wardrobe space to accommodate all your belongings. This results, therefore, in an uncluttered bedroom. If you include a mirror shutter, you will have a looking glass. The glass in this design reflects light, making the room appear more spacious.

2. Mirrored wardrobe with sliding doors.

This design is ideal if you have a small bedroom that cannot contain several pieces of furniture. So you add a mirror instead of a full glass design. You will love that your items get hidden, and you have a mirror to look at yourself. A dressing table or a wall mirror would not be needed anymore. The bright lighting from the glass and the mirror will make your tiny space larger and more appealing.

3. Master bedroom wardrobe design.

Being the biggest bedroom in any home, the main bedroom can be used to create ample storage. You can maximise its use depending on its measurements. There are several master bedroom wardrobe designs in the market; choosing the one that will fit your home can be tricky.

4. Sliding wardrobe design for small bedrooms.

This design is the favourite of many homeowners. This makes the room look elite if you choose white for the doors that slide from left to right and vice versa. Simple yet elegant — and looking more prominent than its actual size.

Now, if you have a small bedroom, you can arrange your bedside furniture, the wardrobe, and the bed on one wall. This will make the room more spacious and not dominated by furniture.

5. Modern glass wardrobe design.

This design is excellent if you want to create a wardrobe with a modern look and lightweight feel. Its sheer finish provides a sense of space, which is ideal if your room is smaller. The glass’s reflective surface makes your room feel brighter, however dark.

Indeed, there are many other glass wardrobe design ideas you can pick from various sources. These glass wardrobes seem disadvantageous because they are prone to fingerprints and a little more fragile. However, they are made with hard glass that cannot easily break. Also, they can be cleaned without too much effort and take only a light cleaning. Glass wardrobe designs are not only for traditional, smaller spaces;

but they can also fit modern or contemporary home bedrooms.

A wardrobe that is mirror-finished will expand your space while brightening it. The glass wardrobe eliminates the need for a dresser. Other beautiful options for more fascinating wardrobe designs include partially mirrored, partially lacquered, wholly mirrored, and vintage glass closets.

We invite you to schedule a design consultation with VMS Plus in Ahmedabad, Gujarat. Plenty of options will satisfy all your organising, aesthetics, and proper storage requirements. We have interior experts who will gladly share our expertise with you. Despite the numerous designs available, you may still require assistance, and we are happy to offer it. We can help you choose the right size and design for your desired glass wardrobe.

So, call us today. We will happily entertain your queries, regardless of whichever Glass Wardrobe Design for Bedrooms you require.

#Wardrobe Design #Modern Glass Wardrobe Design #Sliding Glass Wardrobe Design #Mirrored Wardrobe with Sliding Doors #Master Bedroom wardrobe Design #Bedroom Cupboard Design #Sliding Wardrobe Design for Small Bedrooms #Sliding Wardrobe Design for Small Bedrooms Glass Sliding Wardrobe Design #Sliding Door Wardrobe #Benefits of Glass Wardrobe Designs #Glass Wardrobe Design #Glass Wardrobe Design Ideas for BedroomsVMS Plus

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jayalakshmibuilders · 4 months ago

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Best home interior designers in trichy | Jayalakshmi Builder

Jayalakshmi builders is one of the leading interior decorators in trichy. We are experts in interior designs like living rooms, bed rooms, modular kitchens, bath rooms.

#Bedroom Interior in Trichy #Kids Bedroom Interior Designers in Trichy #Bathroom Interior in Trichy #Cupboard Interior Works in Trichy #Glass interior designer in trichy #Interior in trichy #Trichy interior designers #Interior work in trichy

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spencahreadreid · 6 months ago

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oh, dilute me, gentle angel.

this has no specifics, mostly gender neutral, no use of Y/N, pure fluff!! this is my first try at writing, so if there's anything wrong, please let me know. if there are any requests leave them in my asks! around 2.7K words!

A long day of work led to Spencer coming home tired, as usual. You'd been at the stove for a while, cooking a meal for the two of you. The door opened, and then shut softly a few seconds later, the sound of footsteps ringing through the living room.

You turned, and there he was, in the doorway. His eyes were half-lidded, hair messy and glasses askew on his face. Flicking on the kettle, you poured at least 3 dessert spoons of sugar into the bottom of his Star Trek mug, lowering the heat on the stove. With the boiling pot now simmering, you walked over, helping him strip off his purple scarf and his coat.

"I missed you all day, how was work?" He'd called you early in the morning to tell you about the copious amounts of paperwork he had from the last case. Either way, it was nice to hear about everything as a whole.

"Too long, I missed you so much" Pulling you in for a tight hug, his arms found their place on your waist. Spencer was smart, he always had been, but in moments like this, he physically couldn't be.

Your affection had always made his IQ of 187 drop to an average of 100 (probably less). This had started the minute you two got together, his usual rambles falling short at the sight of your pretty face. It always made you giddy, knowing you had such an effect on a once extremely put-together man.

Your arms soon followed, mirroring his actions, around his torso. The rapid beating of his heart slowed once you reciprocated contact, most of his stress leaving his body. Spencer moved back, gently, not to startle you and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, just below your hairline.

"You're so pretty.." His words were quiet, barely there, but you heard.

You didn't feel it, you'd barely left your room all day, not bothering to get dressed, or even do your usual morning routine. Standing there, in his arms, in a shirt and underwear.

"Sure." It was sarcastic, the words leaving your mouth as quick as he could read a thousand words. He frowned, pressing another kiss to your head, before carding his long, nimble fingers through your hair.

He knew that if he started with the usual "Don't say that about yourself" or the "I really mean it, you're stunning" it wouldn't work, so he always chose physical affection to show you love instead. No matter how much you tried to deny it, you always ended up feeling better around him, with him.

With a hesitant sigh, you knew you had to go back to preparing dinner, the noodles on the stove not needing to boil for any longer. Spencer made his way up the stairs, taking a quick shower and getting changed into something more comfortable. It was always strange to see him in lounge wear, he's always dressed so smartly around everyone else.

It was hilarious to you when he came down, hair wet, dripping onto the tile like a wet dog, in a pair of pajamas. Not any pajamas, but the ones you'd brought him around Christmas last year. They were dark blue, the top long sleeved, the bottoms all the way down to his ankles. Patterned with conical flask designs, each one filled with multicoloured liquid. A small laugh left your parted lips, his smile widening with a defensive "Don't laugh at me! I don't have any other clothes.."

'Liar ' You thought.

But, you let it slide as he watched you putting the noodles out into two separate bowls. Garnishing the top with a few herbs from the cupboard above you, the two meals sitting there on the counter. One with a pair of chopsticks, the other, a fork.

#mgg #spencer reid #criminal minds #matthew gray gubler #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x y/n

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comaron · 2 years ago

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hometoursandotherstuff · 9 months ago

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This 1928 house is known as the Doll's House. The Swiss Chalet style home was designed by William Van Egmond as a wedding present for his daughter, and became a designated heritage property in 1983. Located in Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada, it has 2bds, 1ba, $299,900.

It is soooo cute! You enter and there is a large closet to the right.

The owners have painted it pure white, which masks the architectural features, but you can paint them contrasting colors to match your decor. Look at how interesting the fireplace is- I don't know if it was ever real- there's a wire in the wall, probably for electric logs.

The wood around the interesting triangular window is obliterated by the white paint.

Details of the fireplace.

I wonder what the original color of the wood was. Forget about staining it, now that the paint is on.

Look at that- a little built-in bench. Do you think that the details would look better in pastel or a dark brown or black? There's an old phone on the wall, so the bench was for sitting and talking on the phone.

Isn't the little dining area cute? Two built-in cabinets.

The kitchen is directly off the dining room, and look at the vintage door chimes.

In the vintage kitchen they painted the frame around the fridge black. I don't think I like black. Notice the small triangular window.

There's a little cupboard in the corner and maybe even a place for a small bistro table or island on wheels.

Oh, look at that, I didn't realize that the closet door is glass.

What a large primary bedroom. Very nice. More beautiful features.

Cute vintage bath. The tub looks original. Why do they like that weird beige-y color?

Little pedestal sink with an original medicine cabinet over it.

The 2nd bedroom has a surprisingly big closet.

Look at the skinny window on the stairs.

There's a closet and some shelving down in the basement.

Wow, look at the antique washing machine. It has a wringer. There's a nice workbench along the wall, too.

Outside, there's a cute fence and gate, plus a side door and the garage.

Nice evergreen tree in the yard.

Cute yard with another nice tree. 3,876 sq ft lot.

Gate for the 2 car garage. What happened to the road? Are they paving it, b/c they took away the driveway apron.

So adorable.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2812-McCallum-Ave-Regina-SK-S4S-0P9/352227873_zpid/

#cottages #homes canada #houses #old house dreams #house tours #home tour #homes under $300K

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justsomerandomfanfic · 4 months ago

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The Perfect Paradox - Tenth Doctor X Female Reader

Title: The Perfect Paradox

Tenth Doctor X Female Reader

Additional Characters: Reader's mother mentioned, neighbors, Susan Johnson (OC), town Elders, TARDIS, Rose (Mentioned),

WC: 8,003

Warnings: Reader wears a dress/skirt, nicknames, marriage, 50s women stereotypes/misogyny mentioned, 50s-themed clothing, italics, yelling, gaslighting, slight mental breakdown?, italics for a flashback, teasing, banter, brainwashing, be prepared to run, protective Doctor, Doctor's trauma mentioned briefly (Rose), slight angst, and fluff

Your melodic humming filled the kitchen as you stood by the stove, stirring scrambled eggs around on the frying pan. The bright morning sun shined through your windows and past your white lace curtains, enveloping the kitchen in a warm golden glow. Sizing the scrambled eggs up - assuming they were done - you reached over to turn off the stove.

Brushing down the skirt of your blue, fit-and-flare dress, you walked over to the coffee maker, grabbing your two mugs from the cupboard - one Prussian Blue, and the other a simple brown - you poured the steaming coffee into both of them. Leaning over the counter slightly, one foot lifting in the process, you opened the small glass jar of sugar cubs. Dropping two in one of the mugs, you grabbed a small spoon and stirred the sugar into the hot liquid.

You decided to not take a sip - fearing that you might burn your tongue - so you quickly turned back to the eggs on the stove. Grabbing one of the two plates from beside you on the counter, you began to plate the scrambled eggs, continuing to hum as you heard the toast pop up in the toaster. Grabbing the pair of freshly made toast from the toaster, you began to spread butter upon both of them, before setting them down on the plates beside the eggs. Picking up one of the plates, fork in hand, your husband came in through the kitchen doorway. Right on time.

Dressed in a neatly pressed, dark blue suit with red pinstripes, he straightened his herringboned burgundy tie with a mauve flora design. His white button-up underneath was wrinkle-free from when you ironed it the night before. Your husband looked handsome, as always. You dreamily sighed mentally. You had always considered him a handsome bloke in a tight suit with amazing hair. And speaking of his brown hair - the soft strands usually stuck out everywhere, especially in the early mornings - was gelled to the side. His sideburns were prominent, one of your favorite physically attractive things about your man. All ready for work.

As he spotted the brown coffee mug on the counter, he gave you a glance, his smile growing as he winked in thanks. You mentally sighed once more. You always found yourself staring at his dark chocolate eyes - even when he wasn’t looking.

As he took a drink from his coffee, his eyes landed on the plate of eggs and toast you were holding for him, and he let out a hum; setting the coffee mug down. "Oh, I'm sorry, darling, but I am really running late." He spoke, grabbing the briefcase from off the dining table. His Estuary English accent sounded beautiful every morning, and night; just all the time really.

You only smiled, shaking your head lightly, "No, it's alright." You sat the plate down just as he made his way over to you, pressing a kiss to your cheek in a farewell; his tall, lean statue towering over you. "Have a good day, honey."

"You too, dear." He replied, grabbing his long, light brown overcoat and tossing it over his arm, he turned halfway out the door, giving you one last grin before leaving for work. You wished your husband wasn't running late, giving him time to eat, but those times weren’t often, seeing how busy he is with being an internationally renowned neurosurgeon and all. Your mother had always wanted you to marry a Doctor.

Letting out a small content sigh, you began to wrap up your husband's breakfast in some saran wrap, before placing it in the fridge. You then ate and got ready for the day. Taking the rollers out of your hair, you made sure you looked presentable enough to go out and about. Looking out the window, you admired how nice it looked outside; you decided that it would be nice to go for a small walk.

Grabbing your purse, you slipped on your short, white gloves, and matching hat. Making sure you had everything you needed, you grabbed your house keys and left.

There was hardly a cloud in the sky, and the sun shone brightly, warming your skin. Passing house after house in the wonderful suburbs you and your husband lived in, you continued to smile. The streets were clean - as were the sidewalks and people's yards; freshly mowed. Colorful flowers were planted at each home, composed of roses, tulips, and marigolds. Your home also had a lovely little garden in the front yard, where you raised your pretty pink roses. They were your joy.

Shady Grove was a small town in practically the middle of nowhere. All the houses were very similar and matched in color, size, and shape. Every yard - as said before - had gardens, perfectly planted, near the large front windows of the homes. White picket fences lined each property line, separating each house from the other. The wives made breakfast in the mornings while their husbands got ready for work. And after saying goodbye to their wives, they would leave for work.

Everything in Shady Grove operated with perfect precision. The same type and brand of cars left their driveways at the same time each day, their engines starting in perfect unison. The children, neatly dressed in their school uniforms, marched to the bus stop, their laughter bright. The air was filled with the scent of freshly cut grass and blooming roses, as if someone had bottled the essence of suburban bliss and sprayed it all over the town.

You loved Shady Grove with its tidy streets and friendly neighbors. The community events organized by the Women's Association were always a highlight, bringing everyone together for picnics and bake sales. The local library, with its rows of perfectly shelved books, was your sanctuary on Saturdays - a place where you felt at peace among the orderly rows of shelves. To you, Shady Grove was simply the epitome of suburban paradise, and you cherished every moment spent within its meticulously maintained borders.

Spotting a few blue birds, you watched them fly with a smile, hearing their little chirps. Your eyes then landed on the high grassy hills outside the town. Your eyes immediately spotted something in the distance, but before you could even think further, you remembered that you were planning on making a strawberry milk pie. You loved pie, and it was one of your husband’s favorites. Your neighbor, Susan Johnson, was dropping off some of her fresh home-grown strawberries the very next day. The market was just around the corner, so you decided to get some milk and eggs to prepare for the baking.

~~~

That evening, as the sun dipped below the horizon, you hummed softly to yourself in the kitchen. You chopped vegetables with practiced ease, the rhythmic sound of the knife against the cutting board filling the air. The aroma of roasting chicken wafted through the house, mingling with the comforting scent of herbs and spices. It was your husband's favorite dish, and you took pride in preparing it just the way he liked it.

When you heard the familiar sound of the front door opening, you smiled to yourself; continuing to cook. "Honey, I'm home!" He called, making you giggle.

"Welcome home." You called, before finishing dinner. You were almost done.

"Is dinner almost ready, dear?" You heard your husband's voice, knowing him to be in the dining room.

Opening the Dutch oven, you smiled as the scent of the delicious food wafted out, the aroma making your mouth water. A large plate full of roasted vegetables sat on the counter before you. Turning the heat off, you began to make both you and your husband a plate. "Yes, honey," You called back to him, "Just one moment." Heading to the dining room, you placed your husband's plate down in front of him, making him look away from his newspaper; setting it down on the table beside his food.

"This looks delicious, darling," He complimented, slipping off his dark brown, acetate frames, before beginning to dig in.

Sitting down at the end of the table, you grabbed the pastel yellow cotton napkin from the table, opened it, and placed it on your lap. Shuffling slightly in your seat, you got ready to eat, cutting into the meat with your fork and knife, "Is it to your liking?" You asked, glancing up at him, and taking a bite of the food.

Nodding, he spoke, "It is perfect, my darling,"

You smiled, watching as he enjoyed his meal, a sense of contentment washed over you. You loved these simple moments of domesticity, where the outside world seemed to fade away. "Well, how was your day, honey?"

Your husband cleared his throat, "It was quite a day, dear. I spent most of my time in the operating room." He began, pausing to sip at his water before continuing, "We had a particularly challenging case involving a brain tumor, but I'm pleased to say it went well." You nodded along, fully engaged in his words, "After the surgeries, I attended a meeting discussing new techniques we're hoping to implement soon. It's exhausting, but fulfilling work." He finished, looking up from his food, "Oh, how was your day today, dear?" He asked, as if remembering, but you hadn't noticed.

Your hand froze holding your fork mid-air at his question before you placed it back on your plate, "Oh, it was great, honey. I got groceries from the market, and I also cleaned up around the house and did some laundry."

Your husband paused, looking up at you slowly, "Nothing... Odd happened today?" His gaze was intense; questioning.

You continued to smile, though confused, you shook your head, "No, I don't recall anything odd happening today." Your smile then dropped as a question popped up in your head, blinking your eyes owlishly, "I didn't miss anything important today, did I?"

"No," Your husband spoke, seemingly satisfied with your answer.

"Oh!" You exclaimed as you remembered something, your husband's head shooting up at your exclamation, "I saw that there was a deal on that type of pork that you like, so I bought it for a future dish."

At your response, his shoulders dropped and he breathed out of his nose. Finishing his dinner, and patting the side of his lips, he grabbed the newspaper once more, "That's nice, dear," He spoke, his voice sounding slightly muffled behind the newspaper. "Some dessert would be nice."

"Dessert, absolutely," You quickly dabbed the corners of your own lips before standing. Grabbing your empty plate and his, you headed to the kitchen to fetch your loving and doting husband some well-deserved ice cream; he had such a long and hard day.

~~~

The next morning, you and your husband woke up bright and early; as you both did every morning. Dressing in a sunflower yellow fit-and-flare dress, you carefully made sure the rollers in your hair were still in place before getting ready for the day. It was the weekend, so your husband was thankfully staying home with you and keeping you company. Though, you did have a few plans for the day. Susan was coming over to drop those strawberries off, and you were planning to go to the library before coming home to make dinner and two strawberry milk pies - along with any house duties that needed to be done.

Making sure you looked presentable, you began cleaning. As your husband read in his La-Z-Boy recliner, a cup of steaming coffee beside him on the coffee table - made just how he liked it - you were mopping the kitchen floors. The scent of lemon-scented cleaner filled the air, mingling with the aroma of brewing coffee. The morning sunlight streamed through the windows, casting long shadows across the freshly polished countertops.

As you finished in the kitchen, you turned your attention to dusting the shelves in the living room. Everything had to be just right for Susan's visit later. You straightened the neatly arranged books on the shelves, occasionally pausing to glance at your husband, immersed in his book with an unreadable expression.

"Would you like another cup of coffee, honey?" You asked, breaking the quiet concentration that filled the room.

He looked up, his eyes meeting yours with a faint smile. "No, thank you, dear. I'm fine for now," He replied, returning his attention to his book.

You nodded and continued with your tasks, the rhythmic swish of the feather duster against the bookshelves becoming a comforting background noise. But at the sound of the doorbell, you turned towards the noise, your content smile widening. "That must be Susan with the strawberries." You spoke, before heading to the door.

Stashing your feather duster away, you brushed your skirt down with both hands before letting out a sigh. Reaching out, you opened the door, though, at the sight of the man outside your door, your smile faltered slightly; though, it didn't vanish.

The man in front of you let out a sigh of what seemed like a sigh of relief, a bright smile appearing on his face, "Finally! I found you! I've probably checked every house on this block looking for you. Are you alright? We have to go." He reached out to grab your arm but you stepped back, now majorly confused.

Your eyebrows furrowed, "Found me? What- Uh," You asked, stuttering, confused, but you recomposed yourself, "May I help you, sir?"

This man before you went to speak, but ultimately shut his mouth. And then he just stared at you, his own eyebrows furrowed, his dark brown eyes seemingly analyzing you. It was intense. His eyes then broke from yours and glanced around wildly to the side and behind you before looking back at you, "It's me, the Doctor," He gestured to himself, but upon receiving no reply - confusion still in your eyes - his tone dropped, "You have to remember me." His voice is low, and deep, but you remained silent; a shiver ran through you from his intense stare, your cheeks feeling warm.

You also took this time to observe him. His hair was brown, strands sticking up in odd angles like he had just gotten out of bed. His eyes were brown, like dark chocolate. He was tall, and lanky, wearing the very same attire your husband would wear to work. A thought buzzed in the back of your mind as you eyed his sideburns...

'He looks a lot like my husband.'

"I'm sorry, sir, but I don't recognize you." You began, seeing something flash in his eyes as he ran a frustrated - almost angry - hand through his hair, "Do you work with my husband?"

Before he could speak though, your husband's voice caught your attention, "Who's at the door, dear?"

Turning, your smile widened at his presence, watching him enter the entryway. Your smile faltered slightly upon seeing your husband's frown. "This gentleman said that he was a doctor." You spoke to him, "Is he one of your colleagues?"

Your husband doesn't answer, coming up beside you, his hand coming up to press against your lower back. "Why don't you vacuum the living room, dear? You did mention that you wanted to clean the floor earlier." Your husband spoke, and you gave him a bright smile, nodding.

"Yes, honey." You spoke as your husband went to stand by the stranger at your door, his hand on the doorknob to shut the door behind him, wanting a private conversation with the man outside. Heading to the living room, just as the front door began to shut, it stopped suddenly.

"Y/N!" You heard the stranger call for you, making you turn, seeing him holding the door open as your husband visibly glared at him. Your husband was trying to close the door, but the stranger was preventing him. The look on the stranger's face was a look of total determined desperation. For some reason, you felt that whatever he was going to say was urgent. Pushing against the strength of your husband, he grunted lightly before speaking; his dark eyes bore into yours, "When did you get married!?"

At those words, he was overpowered and the door slammed shut. The sound reverberated in your mind, echoing as you found yourself frozen to where you stood. You stared at the door, before you moved your hand up, your eyes meeting the glimmering ring on your ring finger.

'When did you get married!?'

'When did I get married?'

Your mind felt suddenly blank, fuzzy even. You tried to recall the details of your wedding day, but the memories remained elusive, obscured behind a fog. You shut your eyes tight and rubbed your temples, hoping to coax out fragments of recollection, but all you could grasp were fleeting glimpses: the scent of roses in the air, the warmth of sunlight filtering through stained-glass windows, and the faces of smiling guests.

Opening your eyes, you looked around the living room. If you had gotten married, wouldn't there be pictures? Searching the walls, you passed each one, trying to find something - anything - that would confirm your wedding day. Each frame held snapshots of idyllic moments: vacations, family gatherings, and smiling faces captured in time.

"No wedding photos," You muttered, your voice barely audible as a knot tightened in your stomach. It was as if the most significant day of your life had been erased, replaced by an unsettling void that threatened to swallow you whole. But you kept searching - from the dining room, kitchen, hallways, bathroom, and bedroom - yet, you found nothing. You even searched the closets for your dress, but even that too was missing. Finding yourself back in the living room, you heard the front door open. You could feel your husband's presence behind you, and you let out a shaky breath, "How come we don't have any pictures of our wedding?" You asked, not bothering to turn around.

"You didn't want any," He spoke, and that made you turn, your eyes holding so much confusion. He looked down at you, continuing, "Don't you remember? You didn't want us to waste our money on all that film or to hire someone to take them. That's why we didn't get any." He explained.

"I did that?" You asked, doubting yourself but more questions began popping up in your head, and before you could even stop yourself, you were speaking; "How long have we been married?"

Your husband let out a laugh as if what you had said was stupid, "Seven years," He replied, causing you to blink, "What do you mean how long have we been married?" Your husband shook his head, his hand rising to stroke your back, "It's nothing, darling. Just forget it, alright?"

“What about my dress? My wedding dress, where is it?” You asked, your finger twisting your wedding band around your finger; fidgeting.

“You donated it,” He answered, “Please, dear, this is silly-”

"Why did he look so much like you?" You ignored him, his usually comforting and welcomed touch burning you, you quickly slipped out of his hold, staring up at him with wide eyes as if he had grown a second head. "Who was he?"

He blinked at you before letting out an almost awkward chuckle, shaking his head, "Just a friend from work, really, this is nothing you need to be so worked up about. Isn't Susan coming by soon?" He tried to again divert the conversation, but you weren't having it.

"No! Something's not right here!" You exclaimed, gesturing around you wildly, "How come I can't remember my wedding? Which is supposed to be the happiest day of my life! And why don't we have any evidence of a wedding, except rings? Not even my dress! How come I don't know when we married, when you proposed, or how I even met you?" You then gestured to the front door, "And why the hell does he show up at the door claiming to know me? And why the hell does he look so much like you!? He had the same hair and the same suit! Th-the same eyes!" You paused, your chest heaving with emotion as you awaited his response. Your husband’s expression shifted subtly, a flicker of unease crossing his features before he composed himself.

"Darling, I think you’re overreacting," He said gently, his voice soothing yet tinged with an edge of caution. "You’ve been under a lot of stress lately. It’s understandable that you might feel confused."

You shook your head vehemently, your mind racing with unanswered questions. "I'm not overreacting!" You insisted, your voice rising despite your efforts to remain calm. "There are too many things that don't add up, too many gaps in my memory. Important things missing. What is going on!?” You felt like you were having an anxiety attack, “I feel like I am going crazy.”

Your husband sighed, his shoulders sagging slightly as he regarded you with a mixture of concern and frustration. "Darling, please," He implored, reaching out as if to touch your arm. "Let's not do this now. Susan will be here soon, and-"

"No!" You interrupted, stepping back to avoid his touch. "I need answers.” He hesitated, his gaze flickering towards the doorway where Susan's impending arrival seemed to be his only lifeline. You began to pace the floor, biting on your thumb nail as you stared down at the floor, concentrating; "I don't remember- There are too many gaps... He looks just like you... The same eyes... Oh, god, his eyes..." You continued to pace until you stopped. "He knew my name. He said my name." You realized, slowly looking up at your supposed husband, "What's my name?"

He scoffed out a laugh - as if what you said again was ridiculous, "I know your name, darling, we're husband and wife."

"Yeah, you say that, but for however long I've been with you, you've only called me 'dear,' or 'darling.'" You took a step towards him, "What's my name?" His laughter grated against your fraying nerves, his dismissive tone fueling the fire under you. Yet, you stood your ground, refusing to back down despite the uncertainty gnawing at your core. "What's my name?" You repeated, your voice steady but laced with desperation. "Tell me my name."

Your husband’s face faltered, his eyes darting away from yours as if unable to meet the weight of your gaze. Silence stretched between you, thick with unspoken truths and the gravity of the situation unraveling before you both. "I..." He began, his voice wavering, but instead of answering, he looked away, his jaw clenched

"He knew my name," You murmured, a chill running down your spine as the pieces fell into place. "He called me by my name." The realization hit you like a tidal wave, washing away the illusions that had ensnared your mind for too long. You weren't the doting and compliant wife of your husband in Shady Grove. You were Y/N, a companion of the Doctor; a traveler of galaxies.

~~~

Leaning against the console of the TARDIS, you tried to keep still - rocking on the balls of your feet - but you were excited to see where the Doctor was taking you next. You watched as he whizzed around the circular console, pulling levers and flipping switches.

"Where are we going today, Doctor?" You asked, unable to stop a small smile from growing on your face as Doctor flipped the final switch, the TARDIS hummed loudly, and the lights flashed for a split second.

"We, my dear companion, are going to Xephus." He exclaimed, looking over at you, "I stumbled upon it a couple of decades ago. Lovely place, nice people."

The Doctor started talking about the planet and its history. How it was a beautiful planet with lots of trees, animals, water, and so much food it would be impossible to eat it all. He continued talking about the beauty of the place and how it was similar to Earth. You admired him as he ranted, watching as the different expressions crossed his face; passion and excitement sparkled in his eyes at the mere thought of showing you another spectacular planet.

It was hard not to admire him. The way he spoke, the boundless enthusiasm he had for every discovery, every hidden corner of the universe. You'd been traveling with the Doctor for what felt like a lifetime, each journey only deepening your affection for him. At first, you told yourself it was just admiration, pure and simple - respect for his intelligence, bravery, and endless curiosity - his overall zest for life. But, the admiration had developed into something deeper, something you were hesitant to acknowledge fully in the beginning.

But you accepted that you had feelings for him a long time ago. More specifically when he took you to a planet called 'Blimszarys.' It was a quiet, unspoken truth that had made its way into your heart, a warmth that spread through you whenever he smiled or took your hand as you ran from danger.

You came to terms with it, embracing the reality of your feelings without expecting anything in return. The Doctor was a being of infinite complexity, and you were just one of many companions who had shared in his extraordinary life. The thought of burdening him with your feelings felt selfish and unnecessary. He had enough weight on his shoulders.

Besides, being by his side was enough for you.

"Y/N," His voice broke you out of whatever trance you had been trapped within, seeing his eyebrows furrowed, and dark eyes staring down at you; confused. "Was I boring you?" He asked with a chuckle, and you quickly shook your head, feeling your cheeks flush from embarrassment.

"No! Of course not, Doctor. You could never bore me," You insisted, turning to fully look at him, "I'm sorry, there's just a lot on my mind right now." You gave him a reassuring smile, but the concern on his face still lingered.

"Are you alright?" He then asked, "If you're not feeling well, we don't have to go. You humans and your human diseases, you never take care of yourselves properly." He huffed with faux indignantly, shaking his finger in your direction as he walked around the console.

"Hey, us humans certainly try," You protested, chuckling softly, following him around the console, meeting him by his side, "I am perfectly fine though. I'm not getting sick or anything. I just have a lot on my mind right now." 'You’re on my mind. You’re always on my mind.' You thought as the Doctor stared down at you, his gaze intense as they were whenever he was deep in thought. You just looked right back at him, a smile on your face, butterflies fluttering in your stomach.

With a huff, seemingly accepting your answer, that brilliant smile of his returned and he threw an arm over your shoulders; bringing you to his side. "Alright right then! To Xephus! Allons-y!"

~~~

You remembered appearing on Xephus, feeling pretty excited to see the planet that the Doctor had discovered decades ago, and spoke so fondly of. You remembered leaving with the Doctor - hand-in-hand - as you both traveled through a large field of flowers, towards the town in the distance. You then remembered going off to wander the town on your own. At some point in your wandering, you remembered seeing glimpses of people in dark cloaks. You remember the feeling of their hands on your arms, the fear coursing through you as you tried to call out for the Doctor.

You didn't know what they did to brainwash you, and you weren't going to stay for anyone to try and brainwash you again. Staring at the man before you, he stared right back, but before he could do or say anything, you bolted. Running out of the room and out the front door, you stumbled down the walkway, past the sidewalk, and onto the street. Your breathing was heavy, your chest rising and falling as your eyes frantically searched around you.

"Stop her!" You heard the man, who paraded around as your husband, your head whipping around to see him rushing towards you. Eyes wide, you continued to run, passing house after house; seeing men leaving their homes to chase you as well. Your labored breathing and your quick-beating heart echoed and pulsed in your ears as you passed the market; housewives, dressed in their fifties-themed attire, looked at you through the large windows oddly before going back to their shopping. Turning down another street, you frantically searched for any sign of the Doctor, weaving past an oncoming car - narrowingly missing it - as you frantically looked around for the Doctor.

Passing through two buildings - a barber shop and a diner - you pressed your back against the wall, trying to control your breathing as you quickly chucked off your heels. "She's over here!" You heard another voice yell, and you booked it. Running in between the two buildings, it spat you back out onto another street. You didn't look back, hearing the pounding of feet behind you. The large group of men - dressed in their suits and ties - were chasing after you; in reality, all of them were manipulating husbands.

You ran until you reached another street lined with shops; only to then feel someone grab your arm and pull you into an alley. You were whipped around, your back pressing up against the brick wall of the apothecary shop. Regaining your bearings, you quickly recognized the hands that were wrapped around your upper arms. You knew those long and long and slender hands anywhere. His grip was a mix of gentleness and intensity; the warmth of them seeping into your skin soothingly. Looking up, you sighed - tears of relief burning the backs of your eyes.

"Doctor, I-"

"Are you alright?" He interrupted, his voice gentle but urgent - his words came out quickly, yet clearly - though breathless from running and hiding; searching for you. Your well-being was his top priority. He waited for your response, his wide, dark chocolate brown eyes flickering over your face, before searching your eyes; looking for any signs of injury or distress. His furrowed eyebrows softened as he confirmed to himself that you were unharmed. If anything were to happen you...

"I'm okay," You spoke softly, still trying to calm your racing heart, "I'm okay," You repeated, your hands coming up to grab the edges of his light brown overcoat. “Right when I remembered, I ran for the hills.”

The Doctor let out a breath of relief. His hands fell from your arms, cupping your cheeks. Already looming over you, he bent towards you, shutting his eyes, and pressing his forehead against yours. Your own eyes fluttered shut, your grip on his overcoat tightening. The Doctor, internally, felt a pang of guilt rush over him. If only he stayed by your side. If only he kept an eye on you... This wouldn't have happened.

His protectiveness was fierce. Every instinct screamed to keep you safe, to ensure that no harm would ever come your way under his watch. The very thought of you being hurt stirred a deep-seated fear within him, a fear that fueled his relentless vigilance.

"Stay close to me," He whispered, his voice a blend of tenderness and steely determination. His hands, warm and reassuring, remained on your cheeks as if anchoring you to him; as if he was reassuring himself that you were truly safe. That you were there with him, next to him, alive and in one piece.

At that moment, with his forehead pressed against yours and his breath mingling with your own, you knew the Doctor would fight against the universe itself just to keep you safe, and as you stood there in his arms, you knew that you were more than just a companion - you were someone he cared for deeply, someone he would protect with every fiber of his being.

"I don't think we can talk or charm our way out of this one." You softly spoke, opening your eyes as he pulled away; his eyes meeting yours. Suddenly, a loud piercing siren began to blare, startling both you and the Doctor; it sounded like an earthquake siren. "They have sirens!?"

"Nifty, huh?" The Doctor spoke, his eyebrows furrowing in curiosity, "It's probably for those who try to escape."

"What are we going to do?" You asked, cupping your hands to your ears

Seemingly going back to his usual self, an idea formed in his mind. "Oh, you know, the usual." He spoke, flashing you a quick, mischievous grin. "Run like mad, avoid getting caught, and come up with a brilliant plan on the fly." You couldn't help but smile at his infectious enthusiasm.

"Sounds good to me, just as long as we get out of here together," You spoke, and the Doctor grinned, taking one of your hands in his.

"Right then," He said, his eyes sparkling with renewed determination. "Allons-y!" He ducked his head out of the alleyway, peering left and right before leading you through an empty street, his pace quick and purposeful. As you ran, despite the chaos, the terrible siren went off. He thrived in these moments, where quick thinking and daring moves were essential. Finally, you reached the TARDIS, the blue box standing tall and resilient on the field outside of the town. The Doctor pulled out his key, the door swinging open just as your pursuers came bounding up the hill of the green field. "In we go!" He urged, practically pushing you inside before slamming the door shut behind him. He immediately began flipping switches and pulling levers, the TARDIS roaring to life. As the familiar wheezing and groaning filled the air, you leaned against the console, catching your breath. The Doctor, now back in his element, looked at you with a triumphant smile. "See? Piece of cake."

You laughed, the tension of the past moments finally melting away. "You're impossible," You said, shaking your head.

"And you love it," He replied with a wink, his hands still busy at the controls.

You felt an immense warmth fill you, engulfing you, and making your heart skip a beat as you smiled. You suddenly closed the distance between you and the Doctor, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug. He stiffened for a moment in surprise before relaxing, his arms encircling you in return.

"Thank you," You whispered against his shoulder, feeling the warmth of his embrace. "For getting me out of there."

The Doctor's hold tightened slightly, his head resting gently against yours. "Always," He murmured softly, the single word carrying so much weight behind it. And at the feeling of his soft kiss on the top of your head, you held him tighter, wanting to convey everything that was rushing through your mind at that moment.

Letting go reluctantly, you gave him a small - yet, almost shy - smile. "I'm going to change, and get these rollers out of my hair." You spoke, "I'll be right back."

The Doctor watched you go, a small fond smile slipping onto his face. Watching as you headed towards your room that the TARDIS gave you.

~~~

Sitting at the open doors of the TARDIS, the Doctor watched the death of a few stars. As he waited for you to return, he thought back to Xephus. The guilt of losing sight of you still gnawed at him. If only... No, he couldn't allow himself to dwell on what-ifs.

When you had both split up, he found himself wandering around town, near the shops. Xephus was completely different than it was when he first visited it decades ago. He remembered the planet to be like Earth, with Earth-like food, plants, animals, and people who lived there. But, instead of cottages, there was a town full of suburban homes, barber shops, and markets. Your words played out in his mind, 'It's like stepping into the nineteen-fifties.' For some reason, the Doctor had a bad feeling in his gut.

Before he knew it, he couldn't find you, and the 'Elders' of the town of Shady Grove had taken him to their underground facility underneath the suburban houses. The Doctor stood in the dimly lit room, his eyes fixated on the screen displaying you, a shadow of your former self, dutifully fulfilling the role of a perfect housewife. His initial curiosity of why the planet had changed so much had given way to a burning anger, his normally lively features now etched with fury.

"Why would you do such a thing!?" He demanded, his voice echoing through the large room of metal walls and concrete floors. "What possible reason could you have for stripping away her identity, her memories, her life?"

The Elders, a group of stern-faced older men, exchanged glances before one of them stepped forward. His hair was graying, and his eyes were piercing. "We needed to create a harmonious society," The Elder explained, his tone measured and cold. "Individualism breeds chaos, and we have perfected a system where everyone has a role, a purpose. That was why Xephus has changed, Doctor. When you came here, we deemed your companion suitable for progressing our town. She was then chosen to be integrated into our community to maintain order and balance."

The Doctor's fists clenched at his sides, "Order and balance?" He echoed incredulously. "At the cost of her free will? Her autonomy? You have no right!"

The Elders remained unperturbed by the Doctor’s outburst. Another one stepped forward, his expression impassive. "Order and balance are paramount, Doctor," he stated calmly. "Without them, society would descend into chaos. Your companion’s integration was essential for the stability of Shady Grove."

The Doctor's fists tightened further, his knuckles turning white. He glanced back at the screen, his eyes narrowing as he observed the fake husband’s interactions with you. Jealousy tickled the edges of his mind, an unfamiliar and unwelcome emotion. Then, he noticed just how eerily similar the fake husband looked to him - his brown hair, sharp features, and charming demeanor.

"Why does he look like me?" The Doctor demanded, his voice low and dangerous.

The first Elder, the one with the piercing eyes, replied with a faint, knowing smile. "During the brainwashing process, we extracted your companion’s subconscious desires and ideals. We created a husband based on her ideal partner to make her transition smoother and the illusion more believable. It turns out, Doctor, that her ideal partner is you."

If the Doctor was shocked, he didn't show it. He turned back to the screen, watching as the fake husband leaned in to kiss your cheek, a gesture that sent a sharp pang through his hearts. It was a bitter irony; you had been taken from him and given a life that mirrored what you might have desired, but it was a cruel mockery of reality.

The Doctor felt a mix of emotions, though his anger reigned supreme. The intensity of his anger rolled off of him in waves. "You think you've created the perfect society," He seethed, his eyes narrowed slightly. "But you've only created a prison. And I will free it! You won't hurt her, or anyone else, ever again." He stood tall, his jaw tightening, and his eyes darkening, "Enjoy your illusion of control while it lasts," He spat. "Because I’m going to dismantle it, piece by piece."

In short, it took three days for him to escape the cell they tossed him in while at the underground facility. Thankfully, he had his sonic screwdriver. It was also surprisingly easy to destroy their brainwashing machines. He then navigated through the facility’s labyrinthine corridors, his thoughts were solely focused on one goal: reaching you. Emerging from the underground facility - for some reason popping out of the barber's shop - he took a moment to breathe in the cool night air, the stars above a stark contrast to the artificial confines below.

And well, he found you, and he had hoped - deep down - that upon seeing him everything would come back to you, but it hadn't. Then your 'husband' got in the way. But, as he was getting led back to the facility, he escaped and hid in a nearby alleyway. But you were safe, you were in the TARDIS, not brainwashed, or injured. You were safe.

However, what the Elders had said and showed him was bubbling in his mind. The Elders said that they created your ideal partner to help you believe in your new life. And your ideal partner was him. The Doctor let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. He had always known that you admired him, but this revelation was different. It forced him to confront feelings he had buried deep inside. Feelings he had for you.

The fear was still there, gnawing at him. He was scared because of what had happened with Rose. Losing her had been one of the most painful experiences of his long life. The thought of starting a relationship with you only to lose you in the end terrified him. He took another deep breath, trying to calm himself.

The sound of your footsteps drew him from his troubling thoughts, his gaze shifting from the stars and over his shoulder. You walked out of the hallway, dressed in your sweats. You ran a hand through your hair, free from the rollers; you had taken a shower. Spotting him, you smiled, walking over. The Doctor turned back to the stars as you sat down beside him. Letting your socked feet hang off the edge, you gently kicked them; your hands pressed at your side, palms against the grated floor.

Turning your head, you observed the Doctor's side profile before speaking, "So, I have some questions," You spoke up, breaking the silence, and the Doctor turned, giving you a grin.

"What would you like to know?" He asked, and you huffed lightly, looking back at the stars.

"How long was I under their control?" You asked, a rough one right out the gate, but you had to know.

"Ah," The Doctor nodded his head, "Three days."

You snapped your head over to him, your eyes wide, "Three days?" You gasped. "It felt like forever. How did they make it seem so real?"

"Ah, well," He breathed out, "They manipulated your memories and created an environment that catered to your subconscious desires. Time felt different because they controlled every aspect of your perception." He spoke nonchalantly, masking his inner turmoil with his usual wit and calm demeanor. "I'm afraid they were quite crafty, those Elders. Manipulating time and memory like a magician pulling rabbits out of a hat," He answered with a wry smile, though his eyes betrayed a hint of self-disappointment.

You nodded slowly, absorbing his explanation while sensing the underlying tension in his voice. "It's incredible and terrifying at the same time," You murmured, your own emotions still raw from the ordeal. “Did you stop them? Whatever they were doing or using to brainwash people?”

“Of course,” He whipped out his sonic screwdriver, tossing it in the air and catching it, “They won’t hurt anyone again.”

You nodded, pleased, before you asked the last question on your mind, "What about him..." You began, feeling your face become warm as you glanced over at the Doctor, "Why did he look so eerily like you?"

The Doctor's smile softened, "Ah, that," He sighed, his gaze turning thoughtful. "Your ideal image of a companion, someone you'd trust implicitly, resembled me. I suppose they delved into your subconscious desires and found me lurking in there somewhere," He explained, his voice tinged with a mix of amusement and melancholy. "It's unsettling, I know," He continued, "But they used that resemblance to make their charade more convincing. They wanted to create a seamless transition for you, to make you believe in this fabricated reality they'd constructed."

You let out a small chuckle, making the corners of the Doctor's lips twitch, "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm laughing," You spoke, calming down to finish, "What a twisted version of reality."

"Yes, but you saw through it," He said, his eyes searching yours with admiration. "You broke free from their grip. That takes immense strength."

A faint flush warmed your cheeks as you met his gaze - his compliment practically turning you into mush. "Thank you." You shuffled, becoming slightly nervous under his gaze, your hand moving slightly, accidentally brushing against his, also pressed against the floor of the TARDIS.

The Doctor smiled warmly, "You're welcome," He glanced at your hands beside his, "And as for him," He added, his tone turning slightly playful, "Well, I suppose I should be flattered that your ideal partner bears such a striking resemblance to me."

"I do have impeccable taste," You teased, a playful glint in your eye as you met his gaze.

The Doctor chuckled softly, the sound like music in the quiet of the TARDIS. "Well, who wouldn't want an adventurer with two hearts?"

"And that hair," You quipped, reaching up to tousle his hair playfully. "Definitely a plus."

Laughing in unison, you looked back out at the beautiful dying of stars, the bright colorful light reflecting off of your face and hair. The Doctor couldn't look away, captivated by the way the starlight danced across your features, illuminating your face with a soft, ethereal glow. He found himself mesmerized by the way your eyes sparkled with curiosity and intelligence, absorbing the vastness of the cosmos with wonder.

"You know," He murmured, breaking the comfortable silence between you, "I've seen countless stars and galaxies, but none of them compare to the way you shine in their light."

Eyes wide in surprise, you stared at him, mouth slightly agape. His words were sweet but unexpected. You were not expecting him to say that, in such a way. You were so used to his charm, wit, and sarcasm, and yes, he complimented you more often than not, but with the way that he was gazing at you... It was different. Again, the intensity. His words left your heart racing, the beat of your blood pounding loudly in your ears. Your fingers twitched, desperate to reach out and touch him but you stopped yourself. You didn't even know what to say.

You took a deep breath, trying to steady your racing pulse, your mind reeling with the weight of his admission. "Doctor," You finally managed, your voice barely above a whisper, "I... I don't know what to say."

He nodded slowly, his gaze gentle yet filled with an intensity that spoke volumes. "You don't have to say anything," He assured you, his hand reaching out tentatively to brush against yours. "I just needed you to know."

The warmth of his touch sent a shiver down your spine, your fingers intertwining with his as you met his gaze. At that moment, surrounded by the majesty of the cosmos and bathed in the light of a thousand dying stars, uncertainty melted away. The Doctor's admission had laid bare his hearts, and in his eyes, you saw a reflection of your own feelings mirrored back at you. It reminded you of a song, oddly enough.

Unable to stop a giddy smile from appearing on your face, you let out a small giggle. "That is quite possibly the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me," You spoke softly, squeezing his hand.

The Doctor's cheeks flushed at your statement, unable to fight the smile on his lips. He was thankful that you hadn't let go of his hand; your touch was comforting, and his smile only widened as you shuffled closer to him. A soothing, bubbly warm feeling spread through his body as you then laid your head on his shoulder. His hand left yours before moving behind you, his arm enveloping you in his embrace.

The sight of the stars dying, bursting into a kaleidoscope of colors, was breathtaking, but both of you knew they were insignificant compared to each other.

~~~

Main Masterlist | Doctor Who Masterlist

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evolnoomym · 7 months ago

Text

2. Million Dollar Man

Sugar-Daddy!Joel Miller x f!OC

General Masterlist | “Runaway Butterfly 🦋” Masterlist | Support me |

Summary: A look at your daily routine, a little friend gets introduced, 1st Date jitters and Joel Miller enters the game.

Rating: 18+ explicit content mdni!!!!

Word count: 3.5 k

Warnings: no y/n, f!reader, working out, pills (Silica), mentions of eating, struggles to eat in front of others, shaving, allusions to sa, Mommy issues, panic attack, alcohol consumption, weed consumption, flirting, bantering, Moon is not a blank slate (sorry)

If I missed anything please let me know 🙏🏻

Authors note: Here we go Chapter 2 for y’all, I hope you enjoy 🩵

Shoutout to @saradika-graphics & @cafekitsune for the dividers 🫶🏻

Big thank you to @lady-bess for beta reading 🫂🌙

Disclaimer: English is not my first language so if you come across mistakes it might be due to that. I’m totally here for constructive criticism or feedback on how to improve. In general I appreciate comments, likes and reblogs greatly 👌🏻

It was a normal day for you just the same as always. Waking up at around 9 am, you continue to roll around for another hour slowly getting more acclimated with being up, until you decide it’s time. Sitting on the edge for a moment you roll your shoulders and lightly stretch that aching back of yours, the most will be dealt with later.

The first thing after swapping your sleeping gown with a black cotton camisole and some black cozy shorts, is to make your bed. It's a routine, almost always exactly the same as a way to feel secure, it brings you comfort. You start by shaking out the three blankets, two regular sized and one large blanket. One after another, followed by all your pillows, which at this point must be in the double digits region. You like to practically swaddle yourself. Next you meticulously put the pillows at their designated places and after folding the blankets those get the same treatment. One final sweep of your hand to even out some creases and it’s on to the next step.

Every night before going to sleep you prepare a tall glass of water alongside two Silica supplement pills on your dresser across from your bed, downing them is the next step of the routine. Afterwards it’s time for some plant caretaking which consists of checking if any of your baby’s produced a new leaf or need some water. Since you spent the entirety of yesterday, from morning to evening watering all of them, they are in perfectly healthy condition.

Though your most treasured plant, the monstera deliciosa, gets a little extra attention, you take her out onto the tiny balcony attached to the bedroom and generously spray each leaf with water. Maybe it does nothing but you’d like to believe that the effort is appreciated and repaid by continually birthing bigger and bigger sliced leafs. She gets to soak up the water, enjoy the fresh air as you leave the door open to also get some air flowing throughout the room and once the bedroom opens the rest of the tiny apartment.

You slip on your black loafers, take the empty glass, your iPhone and go to the kitchen which is situated outside your bedroom on the left. You have one of those pearl curtains attached to the wood panel above the walkthrough. It's oldschool and sometimes a little inconvenient but you like the beautiful blue colors it adds. You reach up into the cupboard for a shot glass which gets filled with a horrific tasting immune shot, a concoction of turmeric, ginger, lemon, orange and apple juice - burns like hell on the way down but at least it’s supposed to be good for you.

You down another glass of water immediately after which soothes your esophagus, it washes away any bitter taste left and when you brush your teeth the overpowering minty taste does the rest.

Karl Jr. -your beautiful black fur baby- would then get his breakfast served. Followed by some more morning stretches as well as a watered down version of your usual evening workout routine to help your back pain be less severe. Once your done it’s quite calming to just sit on the rolled out yoga mat placed in front of the open balcony door, you enjoy to feel the breeze passing over your face along with the early morning sun rays, it’s peaceful.

If it would be just an ordinary day you would now sit at the tiny desk in your living room with your grinder and long papers, preparing a morning j, which after smoking would be followed by breakfast.

But today is different. You have a “Date”. Well it might not be the right word to describe the occasion but a business meeting sounds too formal for a walk through the nearby park.

“Joel Miller wants to meet you”, that’s what the message read that was atomically sent by the Sugar-Daddy website and after some rather tame exchange of words with him it was decided to meet up in person. He suggested a restaurant but you declined that offer quickly, eating in front of him and most of all eating with so many people surrounding you, watching you, judging you? No that would be uncomfortable, so you pitched the idea of walking through the park just a short 15 min walk from your apartment. The two of you decided to meet at 3 pm, at the entrance of the park and go from there.

Through some weird intuition you luckily had taken a “everything” shower yesterday, before going to bed. You spend 2 hours scrubbing every nook and cranny on your body, shaving your legs and armpits. It was just a meet up so there was no reason to go crazy on your downstairs area, you didn’t plan on taking him home. Besides you were never one for taking the other person to bed on the first meeting, not that you didn’t try, you did. Seeing everyone around you having those casual encounters with no trouble, made you think you had to do the same and be like them. To feel like you fit in that’s what you tried, but it never went past some awkward kisses, they would try for more which you always brushed off as it just didn’t feel right and that’s where it would end.

You wondered why casual hookups never worked out until one day you did. Dating became less important after those discoveries, you could not open up that way anymore, it always felt like playing a character, pretending to be something you’re not.

A facade can only be kept for so long until it all falls apart or they discover the truth and they always do. The last date you went on was almost 2 years ago and the last time you had sex was at 17 which was losing your virginity to him. Now looking back it makes sense why you couldn’t be like the others.

Even in the 8 months of living here you did not make moves to really meet anyone on a romantic or platonic level. Well except Theresa your neighbor, she’s the only friend you made since moving here. She is 34 years old, single -which you don’t understand as she’s very gorgeous- and has two cats.Theresa takes care of you in the form of making sure you get up, eat and don’t succumb to the pressure in your mind. Almost like a Mother would.

Sitting at your make up table you decided on a simple makeup look, just a bit concealer, blush, bronzer, mascara and peach gloss. Of course you also wear your favorite jewelry set containing moon shaped earrings and a necklace with a moon pendant. Gifted by Theresa after she learned of your fondness for the moon and the story surrounding your name.

Next up was the outfit, which again, was not anything special. A black tank top, flowy black pants and well worn black converse. Before leaving you put on your vanilla perfume and mango scented body spray.

After locking your own door you stop at Theresa‘s apartment door, raise your right hand, knock and wait. She opens up appearing to have just woken up.

“Do I look okay?”

You do a twirl on wobbly knees.

“You look more than okay sweetheart,” she gives you one of her rare soft smiles “I know you’re nervous but you got this,yeah?”

“I got this,” deep breath in and out “I’m okay and I got this.” You reaffirm.

“Atta girl, if he does anything weird I’ll come get you and rip his balls off.” She’s joking but you know she would do it for you.

“I’m sure one day you’ll get the chance to live out this little dreams of yours, but this guy actually seems nice.”

You quickly glance down at your phone, realizing you have to get going you say goodbye to Theresa.

“Shit, I gotta go or else I’ll be late. I’ll talk to you later okay?”

“Of ‘course go get him kiddo, you better tell me everything later. Be careful, yeah?”

As you are already almost halfway down the stairs you exclaim a loud affirmative yes.

Off you go.

The park is unusually crowded for a Sunday afternoon. A bunch of kids are loudly playing on the playground near by and there’s a baby crying in its stroller alongside the mother trying to quickly soothe her baby. People are walking by having their own conversations. You can hear cars driving around and occasionally a honk. It’s overwhelming, so many things happening at once and you’re immediately reminded of why you avoid going outside.

Today however all these people are also a protection shield in case something goes wrong. You’re more careful these days than back then, you learned from what happened.

To say you’re nervous would be an understatement,no, not even smoking before leaving helped to calm you down. These tricks may have helped you then but now it’s a different story.

You remember that day years ago vividly, it was supposed to be the second date with the significantly older police apprentice which inevitably would also be the last time seeing him. The plan beforehand was to meet friends at the park, there you would hang out, smoke weed and drink cherry liqueur to make yourself more pliant before getting picked up by that man. It was so stupid, he drove so far away to a lake and by the time you got there it was already dark. So much could’ve happened. He set up a Picnic, with strawberries and a whole bottle of wine for you to finish on your own, which you did. Back then you fortunately still had your luck, nothing bad happened and he just drove you back home after not getting into your pants.

Sitting on this bench now feels just like 6 years ago. Even though now it might be worse you’re shaking and the air leaves you in panicked little huffs. The ringing in your ears gets steadily louder, black spots are clouding your vision and the pressure forces you to close your eyes. That’s when you hear it, a voice, a deep octave fighting its way through the ringing.

“S’cuse me, Hello Darlin’ I thin…-“ he doesn’t even get to finish his sentence before you immediately shoot up from the bench coming to a halt right before him. That spurt of energy however didn’t last long, almost immediately you feel your legs giving out and you would’ve collapsed weren’t it for those big strong hands gripping your shoulders to keep you from falling.

“Woahh hold ‘ya horses darlin easy, breathe ‘kay, in an out…can you do tha’ for me?” his voice makes you open your eyes to see nothing but a very nice lookin yellow Lakers shirt. You couldn’t lift your head up just yet. Instead you wanted to try to make this less embarrassing “I-I…I’m okay, ughh” a wheezing sound left you, breathing so much after basically slowly suffocating was a bit derailing. You wanted to open your mouth again to say something but he cut you off “No, Shhh, just breathe don’t worry but anythin’ right now.”

And that you did, after approximately 5 minutes which felt like lifetime you felt good enough to finally look at him. Now you felt breathless for an entirely different reason, that being the tall Texas glass of water right in front of you. His hair was nicely combed back, he wore thick black glasses, a gorgeous smile peeking at you from under his mustache and the best thing, his hands were still on your shoulders even though his grip got softer.

After looking him up and down you just stared at his face and probably looked like a fish out of water with your gasping at a rapid speed. The whole situation caught up with you, making you take a step back. His hands slide down your arms till he no longer touches you. Shanking your head you started to apologize “I’m so sorry, this so embarrassing..-fuck I’m really sorry you had to witness this.”

He just looks at you like you said something ridiculous “Darlin’ you don’t need to apologize for havin a panic attack or anythin. Alright?”

“Yeah you’re right, thank you, for helping with the breathing and stuff.” You nod

“Don’t mention it, you wanna sit down again or-?”

“No need to sit down again, moving around is probably the best, there’s a pond just a short walk from here. It’s a little more secluded,” you look around “, than here.”

He nods “You lead the way M’lady,” giving you a cheeky smile.

“Keep up Mr.Miller,” you retort and swivel past him with a cheeky smile of your own.

It was a quick 5 minute walk, which was spent in comfortable silence, allowing you to recover from the panic attack. Luckily your favorite spot is free, a wooden bench placed only a few feet away from a cute little pond surrounded by trees and lushes green bushes.

“There we go, please have a seat,” you motion for him to sit down.

You can’t help but watch him get comfortable and spread his meaty thighs. It’s an invitation for your gaze to go directly to his crotch. Images of what a guy like him must be packing flood your brain, most of all what he could do with that.

“Darlin’ did ya not learn that staring is impolite,” that certainly snaps you back into reality quickly, eyes going back to his face. You can feel your cheeks get warm at being caught, you surely must be looking like a tomato.

You sit down next to him and start to apologize “I..I am so so..sorry,” you don’t even dare to look at him.

“Hey sweetheart,” two of his thick fingers tip your chin up “look at me, s’ all good okay?” the look in his eyes is expecting. “Yes it’s all okay,” you nod and his expression turns into a pleased smile.

“That’s a good girl,” those specific words, in that deep molasses tone momentarily stun you. Is he doing this on purpose or is it just who he is?

His deep chuckle let’s you know that he’s well aware of the effect those words have on you. Cheeky.

The short silence is broken by you first.

“Sooo, have you done this before?” What a stupid question, he most likely has done this before, he’s gorgeous, who wouldn’t want him as their Sugar-Daddy ?

“Yes, I have done this before, have you?”

Now this makes you let out a genuine laugh.

“What’s so funny sweet girl, huh?” He inquires.

“Look at me, do I seem like the kinda girl that catches the attention of a Sugar-Daddy?” Pointing at yourself, completely ignoring what he just called you.

“You got my attention, don’t ya?” The smile he gives you makes you realize that this is one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever seen and those cute dimples will never leave your mind. “Also let’s not kid ourselves you're breathtaking, pretty girl.” The final nail in your coffin is the wink he sends you.

For a moment you just stare at him.

“Anyway,” you have to look away from his smug face towards the pond to hide your reaction, you try hard to contain your blush “i have never done this before. Though I have thought about trying this.”

He appears to process that answer.

“What’dya want out of this arrangement?”

A good question, but calling this an arrangement sounds so clinical and cold. Shouldn’t it be more than that? Isn’t your body part of this deal?

“Best case scenario I get a genuine connection out of it, someone to call home, to rely on, something real you know?” He nods in understanding.

“Obviously the money is an aspect too, it’s security, it means not having to worry about making ends meet and just living carefree.”

A shaky breath leaves you after dumping everything on him.

He scratches his scruffy jaw looking deep in thought “What would that carefree life look like?”

You know exactly how to answer, maybe you shouldn’t be so honest but you feel like that will get you plus points. Besides you got not much to lose.

“I’d like to travel, see a bit of the world, take photos of all the majestic sights I’ll come across. Live in a secluded house, close to the nature. I’d wake up paint, take care of my plants, try out delicious recipes and I’d be happy.” It might sound simple to him but that’s all you’d need. A safe warm home.

“I can make that happen for ya sweetheart,” he sounds serious, too serious and you don’t want to get your hope’s up, so you switch the topic.

“Why didn’t it work out with the previous two women?” You interested why neither worked out, how could you fumble a man like Joel.

“The expectations in the arrangement didn’t align, they wanted a quick dime, not really interested in interpersonal relations and I got bored.” He says it with such a nonchalance.

“Where they my age?”

“No, they were both older than you,” you are not sure how to feel about that answer, is it better or is it worse?

“Why don’t you just try normal dating, you’re clearly attractive so it shouldn’t be hard, right?” He could have anyone in the world, yet he sits here on this old bench with you.

“ ‘s harder than it might seem darlin’, the company keeps me busy, the people I interact with most are business acquaintances and that’s not a good mix.” Yeah don’t mix business with pleasure, but isn’t that what you two will do?

“What do you expect of me, what do i have to do to make this work. I..I mean in case you want me,” the nervous stuttering will definitely be something you’ll think about for the next couple days. Why must you sound so desperate for anything?

You’re relieved that he doesn’t acknowledges your nervous word salad.

“ ‘s not a whole lot I expect, but I need flexibility” your eyebrows shoot up “not that kind of, time-wise I need ya to be…bendable,” he can’t help but laugh now “ I’m not making it any better am i?”

“No you’re not, but that’s fine i know what you are trying to say”

“Could you live with that, sometimes there’s gonna be a short notice to go somewhere which might mean flying and I want ya with me,” He explains the conditions.

“I could, it’s okay” you nod confidently “do you also want me to play your eye-candy at those fancy functions rich people have?” Again honest curiosity, you’ve never done this before.

He shakes his head “I don’t want ya to play eye-candy, you would be my partner and my equal.” His goddamn smile will be your downfall. You are about to open your mouth when a loud ring cuts you off, it’s not your phone, it’s his.

He looks apologetic and mouths a “sorry” before picking up the call.

You only get bits and pieces.

“Yes - Tommy ya know I’m busy - hmm - seriously how could that happen - yeah I’m on my way.” His voice took on an angry tone and his smile disappeared.

After hanging up he closes his eyes, squeezes the bridge of his strong nose in annoyance and takes one deep breath.

“Everything alright?” You softly ask.

“Yeah, no,” he opens his eyes and the tense expression switches to an apologetic one “something at our current construction site must’ve gone absolutely wrong and I need to fix it.” He sighs loudly.

“I’m sorry darlin’, this is why I need ya to be -“

“Flexible,” you finish for him and he nods.

“I’m real sorry that our conversation gets cut short,” he leans in and his hand lands just above your knee squeezing lightly “I’d like to continue this “getting to know each other” perhaps when ya visit my office, then you see me looking more professional.” Adding another wink to finish off.

“I’d like that too, Mr. Miller.” You note how his pupils dilate when you call him by that name, already loving the effect you have on him.

When the two of you get up, you immediately start to miss his hand on your leg, but as you walk to the entrance of the park he places said hand on your lower back, to guide you.

“Well here we are, I had a -” he speaks up first but gets cut off yet again by a loud honking.

The source is a black Mercedes Benz.

“Uh, that’s my driver,” he pulls you in for a hug and a quick peg on the cheek “listen I had a great time and can’t wait to see ya again. Please text me when ya get home, okay?”

When he pulls away you nod “I will,” you almost promise and off he goes. Quick strides towards the car, slipping in and taking off with squealing tires that make you think it might be more serious than he let on.

Your phone chiming takes you out of your stupor, a message from Joel, something sweet yet simple.

J: Get home safely, Moon Girl ;)

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