#glad to see that absolutely nothing has changed lmao

[demigod-shenanigans]

Actual lengthy reply time finally (sorry this took me literally forever)

Yeah I did not want Leo to be alone right after this, and I didn’t want Piper to be alone with it either. Canon may refuse to let them go to Jason’s funeral, but I will let them grieve together, damn it!

The backstory/pre-plot part actually ended up being quite a bit more than just a prologue, it’s the first few chapters, but I hope it’ll still feel well-paced and fitting when we get around to the rest of them! I wanted to take the time to get into all the feelings and set up/resolve some stuff, plus sticking to the ToA timeline I had to get to the point where Apollo is back on Mount Olympus, which takes a minute. Most of it is relevant and will be back to haunt Leo later!

Responding to the bullet points by putting the relevant numbers in front (not sure why it apparently changed all of yours to 1. in this reblog, they’re correct if I look at your post?? Very strange)

2. Yep! Leo not feeling loved/worthy of love was a huge deal in HoO, and all canon did was put a girlfriend on it and pretend we’re good now, but we will not be doing that here! Leo will learn to recognize that he’s loved, and if it’s the last thing he does :)

4. This bugged me so much in HoO you have no idea. I actually kind of prefer HoO to pjo just because I adore all the characters, but plot wise it’s all over the place and we really miss out on a bunch of friendship stuff because it’s so focused on all the love triangles. I need more platonic Argo bonding!! Let them all be buddies!!

5. This is partially me being demiromantic but many if not all my favorite ships are characters that have strong platonic bonds first. Something something marrying your best friend. I also feel like Leo and Jason both took forever to realize they were into each other (Leo grumbling about Jason constantly being hot in his general vicinity being the reason why he doesn’t have a girlfriend will always crack me up, lol, and Jason spent so long doing what he thought he was supposed to/what was expected of him, including his relationship with Piper, that he didn’t really get to stop and properly have a sexuality crisis for ages) so I wanted to re-establish that for the fic, especially since valgrace fics are kind of split on whether they have jiper happen and break up like they did in canon or just never have them date at all

6. I couldn’t resist sneaking that one in. Insert lame Apollo dodgeball Leo Valdez joke LMAO

7. <3

That’s such a smart way to put it!! Leo is dealing with a lottt and we’re going to get into it a bit more in future chapters but yeah he’s definitely avoiding talking about some of it (in both the way that we the audience don’t see all of it and in him and Piper actively coping via distracting themselves and not talking about some of it)

Honest confession: I really struggle with Shel. I’m glad she exists, but she’s basically an OC when you try to work with her in fanon, because she really only exists to confirm Piper is sapphic and canon gives us absolutely no information on her. I know she’s Cherokee, I know she’s sapphic, I know she likes hiking and I think she has a piercing? That’s it. She’s just kind of a nothing character, which is fine in the books but makes it very hard to work with her in fanon content. Can we have at least a little additional input on her please? 🤲

Glad you think that works well!! Especially because I actually don’t find myself that funny? Though I think it probably helps that I’ve got a general tendency to get attached to traumatized joke coping characters, so I’m pretty familiar with it conceptually. The last book series I fixated on also did this a lot (intense explorations of grief briefly interrupted by memes LOL)

The audience knows stuff!! But Leo was not around for that! And he’s processing a lot at the moment but that just really makes it sink in how much he missed, both because he was gone for so long and also when he was there but so caught up in his own problems (and especially in seeing how “happy” Piper and Jason were apparently without him, because again Leo doesn’t feel worthy of love and has spent a lot of time in foster families who weren’t that great and made him feel like they’d eventually decide they didn’t want him anymore) that he didn’t see the cracks that Piper now tells him were there basically for the whole relationship. So yeah it’s a shock. On a lot of levels. But it’s a lot less earthshaking than the shock of Jason being gone, and therefore easier to focus on. The Piper related changes may or may not also hit him sometime in the near future ;)

Quotes section (please just in general know I’m delighted you did this it brings me suchhh joy to see what bits touched my readers the most):

-No spoilers, but I will say there’s a reason the fic starts out with memories of Esperanza. And yeah, the whole Jason situation is tearing open a lot of old wounds, specifically because of how similar it is: a situation Leo was unable to do anything to change that he feels responsible for (even though, realistically speaking, he isn’t). A loved one that got ripped away from him far too soon that he never got the chance to say goodbye to. A kind of desperate ache that nothing is ever going to fix.

I have a couple of grievances with ToA, and the way none of Jason’s loved ones are allowed to stay mad at Apollo is definitely one of them. Like, it’s established Jason died because of Apollo’s broken Styx prophecy! We’re told that’s the reason it happens!! Piper is the only one who gets to be mad at him at all, and even then she’s only upset for a single scene and has forgiven Apollo the next time they meet. Grief can be messy and nasty and people lash out sometimes! Not everyone needed to immediately be totally fine with the fact that Apollo got Jason killed!

-Glad you enjoyed that joke! I’m not super good with machinery so I worried I’d struggle with working that part into his narration but there’s some references to it I’m actually really happen with, and this is one of them :)

-Something something Leo is of the opinion that Piper should hate him how he hates himself! Also in this context, feeling a little evil about the fact that one of the reasons Leo doesn’t go to the Camp Jupiter funeral is that he thinks everyone would blame him for Jason’s death. The reality of it is that they wouldn’t! But when his mom died his aunt did blame him and so he automatically assumes that this time everyone will look at him and see that same blame written all over his face.

-English being my third language (technically second language going off of how well I actually speak it, I learnt French first but my French is shit lol), I’m really glad to hear it haha

-All of their lives are fucking weird, it’s a demigod thing, but Leo’s almost got everyone beat just based on the fact that the Queen of the Gods went out of her way to come babysit him. It’s even funnier because I’m pretty sure none of the others know this except for Piper and Jason. I wish we’d seen him tell Percy and Annabeth, I feel like that would have been a very funny interaction.

-There is something related to Leo in that box, which may or may not be something I’ve mentioned on this blog before ;)

-Unfortunately for Leo, there’s a bit more stuff he has to deal with before the Plot can start. For instance, the fact that he is (theoretically) in a relationship right now.

I’m so so glad you enjoyed this!! I’ve read and reread your comment a whole bunch of times now, and every time I do I get this huge grin on my face. This is the kind of comment i don’t get a lot but that when I do get it I’ll treasure literally forever. You made my whole month with this and it’s made me very excited to get back to the fic (which between exam phase and hospital stuff I haven’t gotten to work on nearly as much as I hoped lately)

The choiceless hope in grief

Summary: Leo Valdez has lived and died for the gods. Their war has shaped his life since he was a baby. With Gaia defeated, he sort of hopes he can finally rest. He has friends and some semblance of home to return to for the first time since he was eight years old. Just this once, he allows himself to hope the good things might stick.

But the gods aren’t done with them just yet, by the time Leo finds his way back, Jason is gone.

This time, Leo decides he’s done just taking the Fates’ bullshit lying down. If getting his best friend back means striking a deal with the gods and venturing into the Underworld… well, it’s probably not even the most reckless thing he’s ever done.

The caveat of said deal? He has to trust Jason will follow him, or his self-doubt will doom them both.

And after the life he’s lived, Leo is so intricately familiar with self-doubt that he could probably trademark the word.

Or: The only possible way for Orpheus to succeed is if he learns to think of himself as a person worth loving.

Word Count for chapter 1: ~5k

Rating: Teen and Up

So! *claps hands together* I’ve been threatening you guys with my Orpheus Eurydice valgrace fic for a while! Technically I wanted to wait to post this until I’m completely done writing the fic, and I mostly intend to stick to that! I’m only posting this now because I have a minor surgery tomorrow and I’d rather be anxious about fic related things than about the surgery in question. So, take this chapter as a preview of sorts, more to come soon-ish but probably not immediately!

A couple of important notes before we start:

-TW for suicidal ideation. It’s less Leo actually wanting to die and more his canon behavior of “I’m doing something extremely reckless that might succeed but if it doesn’t, my death is an acceptable consequence”, paired with general grief related self-loathing, but if you think you’re not in the right headspace to read about that, come back when you are or at least tread carefully. This fic pics up at the end of The Burning Maze, so especially the beginning is pretty heavy on the grief stuff.

-Since ToA is vaguely canon to this fic, Leo and Calypso are technically dating in the beginning, but they don’t really interact positively as a couple (honestly they don’t interact that much in general) and break up pretty early on. Just be aware in advance that they’re still together for a little bit.

-Fic title is from Talk by Hozier which is maybe a painfully obvious pick but it was too perfect for me not to use it.

Chapter 1: Leo and Piper have an extended sleepover

It wasn’t a discussion between Leo and Piper whether or not to go to Jason’s funeral. They came to the decision that they wouldn’t silently—or as silently as one could come to an agreement when all parties involved were sobbing.

Maybe it should have been a discussion. There was a part of Leo that worried he’d regret this later—his refusal to take this chance to say goodbye and let himself grieve.

But Leo remembered his mother’s funeral. Remembered the way his aunt Rosa had looked at him like she knew his mother’s death had been his fault. Leo couldn’t stand the thought of people looking at him like that again.

He also didn’t remember his mother’s funeral bringing him any sense of closure or comfort. He’d stood at her grave, afterwards, just as desperate and afraid and utterly inconsolable as he’d been before the funeral, except it had suddenly felt sickeningly final. The wound it had torn in his soul had kept bleeding for years, and the scars would stay forever. He didn’t need any of Apollo’s shitty oracles to know Jason’s death would be exactly the same.

At this point, Leo was pretty sure his sanity was being held together by a combination of jokes and a truly questionable amount of duct tape.

Beyond all that, though, Camp Jupiter was a battlefield right now. It would continue to be a battlefield for the foreseeable future.

Leo wasn’t a coward. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go back and help. But one of his best friends was already in a box, and there was no way in hell he’d risk the other.

With how tightly Piper was clinging to him, maybe she was thinking the same thing. 

For all his big talk about dragon escorts, Festus did most of the actual escorting on his own, occasionally torching what Leo hoped were monsters and not random public monuments. Leo, for his part, spent most of the journey crammed into the backseat of the car next to Piper, sandwiched between her and a bunch of moving boxes that seemed determined to flatten him into a Leo-shaped pancake whenever they took a sharp turn.

He’d spent so long thinking about seeing her and Jason again. 

He’d talked Calypso’s ear off about them the whole journey, to the point where it had clearly started to annoy her. He’d thought about various ridiculous entrances he could make, and the fact that he’d probably get yelled at, but he’d also thought about sitting together by the campfire, sharing nachos. He’d thought about Jason hugging him so fiercely that he couldn’t breathe, and Piper cussing him out while she held him, making him promise never to do anything that reckless again.

Now Piper was actually holding him, and Leo couldn’t feel anything. There was a numbness in his chest. He wasn’t sure he had it in him to ever feel happiness again. Hell, even if he did, what was the fucking point? Every time anything even remotely good happened in his life, it got ripped away from him again.

They didn’t talk a whole lot for most of the drive. They cried until it felt like they couldn’t anymore, clinging to each other like desperate children.

Even if they’d wanted to talk about what had happened, Piper’s dad was right there, and despite the Mist usually working overtime for them, having him overhear seemed like a gamble. Or, well, maybe that was what Leo told himself. Maybe he just wasn't sure he was ready to hear it all. He still felt like he couldn’t think. He was overwhelmed to hell and couldn’t stop fidgeting.

Several hours into the trip, his stomach started grumbling. Piper dug through the bag at her feet and offered him one of her PB&J sandwiches, but Leo couldn’t eat. He hadn’t skipped a meal in forever—he’d been homeless and unsure when he’d even get access to the next meal enough times that it had been all but tattooed into his skull that he couldn’t afford to—but he couldn’t even think about eating without feeling sick. He thought about Jason. He thought about the state he’d left Camp Jupiter in and the fact that they hadn’t even been able to give the dead their proper funeral rites.

Had Leo’s help made any difference at all? Had anything he’d done in his life changed things even slightly?

Leo knew the Fates had intended for it to be fire that fell—for him to burn in a bright, hot blaze and turn himself to charcoal. But he’d refused to stay dead like a good little pawn, and now Jason was gone, and it was all his fault.

He wasn’t sure how Piper could even look at him right now, but he was beyond grateful that she was holding onto him as tightly as she did. It was the only reason he didn’t fall to pieces completely. The cog at the heart of Leo’s machine had broken in a way that made it utterly beyond repair, and now it felt like a matter of time before the whole thing came apart. Piper holding him was the only reason his remaining pieces were still functioning. 

It should have been impossible for Leo to fall asleep under these circumstances, but he’d been traveling for hours and fighting before then and he’d cried out his remaining energy, so eventually, the world started to fade around him, reduced to just the sound of Piper’s breaths, until finally, those went, too.

~~~~

It would have been kinder, maybe, if Leo had dreamed up some shitty visions promising violent death and/or the end of the world. That would have been business as usual. 

Instead, he dreamed of his time on the Argo II—of one of those early nights when the different groups were still getting to know each other, having a brief moment to breathe between their ridiculous tasks and saving the world. 

It had seemed reasonable to catch each other up on what had happened on their end. Percy, Hazel and Frank had talked about rescuing Thanatos, and Piper, Jason and Leo had told them what had happened with Hera in turn. 

This would have been a boring intel conversation at best, seeing as Leo had been there for all of their part, but they’d grabbed snacks and sat on cushions on the floor and made it a whole bonding activity. Jason had been wedged between Piper and Leo, and they’d taken turns storytelling. 

And Jason had bragged. So much. But he hadn’t even had the decency to brag about himself like a normal human being. Instead, he’d talked about how capable Piper and Leo had been, somehow managing to make Leo sound like the coolest person he’d ever met. Which was ridiculous, considering he’d met everyone else on their team.

And sure, Leo made it sound like he thought he was amazing all the time, but he was exaggerating, which everyone, himself included, knew. 

Jason didn’t seem to have gotten the memo, though. He had one arm wrapped around Leo the whole evening, and he got all starry-eyed when he talked. 

“Leo took on three Cyclopes by himself. Three!”

“Dude, stop!” Leo had laughed, shaking his head. “I know I’m incredible and you’re blessed to be friends with me and stuff, but you weren’t even conscious for that part.”

“Still happened, though.” Jason had beamed at him. “You’re amazing, dude. I would have died about fifteen times on that mission if it hadn’t been for you. You guys should’ve seen him.”

It would have been easier if Leo had thought Jason was just trying to talk him up to the others to make them more willing to trust him after how badly he’d messed up in New Rome, but Jason wasn’t the type. He’d looked like he honestly believed every single word he was saying.

So, of course, Leo had refused to seriously deal with any of the things that made him feel.

“Sorry, Pipes, but I’m pretty sure your boyfriend is in love with me. It’s the fire powers, I’m afraid. I’m just too hot to resist,” Leo had joked instead, and Piper had untangled herself from Jason’s other side to throw Doritos at Leo, and everything had been right in the universe.

~~~~

Waking up from that, blearily blinking himself awake in the car full of moving boxes and remembering… that was a worse punch in the gut than waking up from most nightmares had been. And Leo should know. He’d had so many of those over the years that he was basically a certified nightmare expert at this point.

Leo wanted to go back in time and spend forever in that one evening, living it over and over and over again until the Fates or a temporal paradox or something eventually killed him. He wanted to hold on to what they’d been back then—the three of them together and happy and whole,back before they’d realized what the prophecy really meant. 

He wanted to stay wrapped in Jason’s arm and hear him laugh at whatever stupid joke Leo came up with while he and Piper threw snacks at each other like ten year olds. He wanted to believe he could actually be the person Jason was bragging about—this invincible hero that could do just about anything and saved people’s lives.

But Leo had never been that hero. Even his sacrifice had been the selfish decision of a coward who wasn’t ready to die just yet. Jason had been their Superman. The guy who could fly and threw lightning and saved people from falling to their deaths. Jason had been the hero. And ultimately, that had been what killed him.

Leo wasn’t exactly sure what he planned to do once they got to Oklahoma. He should have been heading back to the Waystation, to give Calypso the normal life he’d promised. But he wasn’t thinking about Calypso, or the Waystation, and the thought of a normal life had gone out of the window the second he’d seen the coffin. Besides, the Waystation would mean people asking questions, wanting to know about his mission and asking him to talk about his feelings, and he didn’t want that.

The only thing Leo really wanted to do right now was not think. 

By the time they got to the house, it was so late that cross-country dragon flight seemed inadvisable for visibility reasons alone, so Leo agreed to stay the night. Festus nuzzled him for a bit, got a fuel snack from the canister Leo had brought and then folded down into his million pound suitcase form for the night.

It took a little under two hours to carry all the boxes inside, which was an annoying amount of time to be carrying boxes but seemed like an absurdly short amount to move the contents of an entire life.

They spent some time in search of the necessities that needed to be unpacked, but the house was still furnished and also had running water and electricity as of a few days ago, so it wasn’t that bad.

While Piper went in search of some ancient camping gear so Leo wouldn’t have to sleep on the floor—this seemed silly to him, the floor was far from the worst place he’d ever slept—Leo asked Piper’s dad if he could help with dinner. 

Tristan looked relieved at his offer, actually. He’d been staring at the assorted vegetables with a slightly lost expression, trying to hack at one of the zucchinis with a butter knife. It seemed like he was trying to remember how cooking worked and had just discovered he had absolutely no idea. 

Considering how long he’d been an insanely rich guy with a personal cook, Leo guessed that actually might have been a pretty accurate read on the situation. 

“You might want to try a sharper knife,” Leo suggested, which made Piper’s dad look absolutely mortified. “Try not to chop off any of your fingers, though. I think Piper’s been traumatized enough for one week.”

The words were out of his mouth before Leo could think to stop them. Tristan didn’t laugh, but at least it didn’t seem like he’d be tossing Leo out of the house over this. Maybe he realized people sometimes said stupid shit when they were grieving. Maybe Piper had just warned him in advance that Leo was like this sometimes.

Tristan just went to find a different knife, which would have maybe been concerning if he hadn’t gone back to hacking at the vegetables a moment later.

“Well, at least this one is actually cutting through the zucchinis. That’s already an improvement.”

“Yeah, I’m basically a cooking expert,” Leo said with a grin, only half-joking. He went to peel and chop up the carrots, and was done with those and about half the mushrooms by the time the poor zucchini had been hacked to bits.

“You and Piper went to school together, right?” Tristan asked after a while of them quietly chopping vegetables for the casserole, trying to make sense of things with information he didn’t have and that, judging from past evidence, probably would have made his skull crack. “You and her and Jason.”

“Yeah. We went to Wilderness school together.” Leo winced, trying not to think too hard of Jason while also trying to remember the lies they’d already told Piper’s dad. At this rate, he was pretty worried his own skull would crack, too. “Then all three of us switched to a different school. Then I was gone for a while.”

Tristan nodded like this made perfect sense, though he mostly seemed lost in thought. That was a little rude, in Leo’s opinion. If he went through all that effort to remember their elaborate setup of lies, the least Piper’s dad could do was appreciate it!

“I’m glad you’re here now, with everything that’s happened. Piper was really upset when you left,” Tristan said, still with that faraway look in his eyes. “The last few months were hard for her. Between the move and the breakup, she really could have used a friend.”

Leo promptly lost all rights to make fun of Piper’s dad and his vegetable chopping skills because at the word ‘breakup’, the knife slipped and he nearly sliced off two of his fingers.

“Fuck! Ow!” he said eloquently, trying to avoid bleeding all over the cutting board in his attempt to get to the sink. “Jason and Piper broke up?”

The question sounded absurd even to his own ears. Why would Jason and Piper break up? They’d been happy together.

Surely, Piper’s dad had to be talking about something else.

To Leo’s shock, Tristan nodded.

“A while ago, yes,” he said, but he didn’t go into details—possibly because Leo was bleeding all over the sink. “We should bandage that. Do you think you need stitches?”

“No, the cuts aren’t that deep,” Leo decided, turning on the faucet and holding his bleeding hand under the stream of cold water. Maybe he should have been more concerned about the injury, but his mind was still whirring at the thought of his best friends breaking up. Unfortunately, the cold water stung like hell. He hissed with pain. “Sorry for making your kitchen look like a crime scene right after moving in. Usually, I at least have the decency to wait a day or two.”

Because the house was a small, cozy place and Leo had not had the decency to curse quietly, Piper appeared in the doorway a moment later, an alarmed expression on her face.

“What happened?”

“I’ve been bested by a stupid potato,” Leo cursed, holding up his bleeding hand and wiggling his fingers for emphasis. He figured out immediately that this was a mistake. “Ow.”

“Stop that, dumbass!” Piper cursed, moving to stand beside him. “Sink was the right call, but you need to use soap or the cuts could get infected. Dad, any chance we have gauze lying around somewhere?”

Tristan didn’t seem to question why his daughter had immediately jumped into emergency medical treatment mode. He just abandoned the cutting board and headed for the front door.

“Not exactly sure what box our regular medical supplies are in, but I’ll get the first aid kit from the car. I’ll be right back.”

“Do we have to do the soap?” Leo whined, because fuck, that stung, but Piper nodded with a scary expression on her face, so he complied. “How do you even know this stuff? Are we sure you’re not secretly an Apollo kid?”

“I know this stuff because I’m friends with a bunch of morons who have zero sense of self-preservation,” Piper cursed, gritting her teeth. “You shouldn’t be around knives when you’re this distracted.”

“I can usually cook just fine when I’m distracted. Your dad was the one who told me you and Jason broke up in the middle of this stupid potato,” Leo said defensively. “Is that the Mist messing with him?”

That was the only explanation his mind had supplied so far that made any sense to him.

Piper shook her head. “We really did break up. That was a few months ago.”

Leo felt his jaw hit the floor. 

“What the hell happened? You were together for ages. I thought- you always seemed so happy.”

“I know, but-” Piper broke off abruptly when her dad came back inside with the first aid kit. Demigod stuff, then?

Leo’s mind was racing. The breakup was a completely stupid thing to focus on, considering everything that had happened in the last few days. He knew that.

But it was easier to try and make sense of this than it was to try and make sense of the fact that Jason was gone and he’d never get to see him again.

“Is it alright if we do this somewhere else?” Piper asked her dad, taking the first aid kit from him.

“Of course. It might be easier to patch him up when you’re both sitting down, anyway.” He turned towards Leo. “Thank you for your help, but I think I can take it from here.”

Leo sent a silent prayer to whichever deity was responsible for protecting vegetables—Demeter, probably?—and gave what he hoped was an encouraging thumbs up with his uninjured hand before he followed Piper into the hallway to presumably be reprimanded some more.

~~~~ They ended up sitting on an old bed that looked like it had lived a long, miserable life and was excited for retirement, but the wooden frame thankfully didn’t break down under the weight of the new mattress or the additional weight of them sitting on said mattress. Piper explained that this had been her dad’s room when he’d lived here as a child, and that it would probably become her room now. Then she went very quiet and focused on bandaging his hand, clearly avoiding looking at him.

“It wasn’t because of me, was it?” Leo asked. The thought made him feel ill. “Please tell me it wasn’t something like, I don’t know, you two being unable to stand being around each other after what happened to me. I think I’d actually have to blow myself up again if it was.”

He tried to make it sound like a joke, but it didn’t feel like one at all. The thought that he'd managed to ruin his best friends’ relationship on top of everything else made it hard to breathe.

When Piper shook her head, it felt like a whole boulder was lifted off his shoulders.

“I actually think we would have broken up sooner if you hadn’t gone missing. We leaned on each other a lot after you disappeared. It wasn’t until we realized we wouldn’t find you and things started to settle down a little that I had time to think. And when I did…” Her voice went very quiet, and she still didn’t look up at him. “I realized I wasn’t happy in the relationship. I don’t think I ever was.”

“How did I not know that?” Leo wondered quietly. “I just… you two seemed happy to me. What kind of garbage best friend am I?”

Piper shook her head. “It isn’t your fault. I was telling myself I was happy for a long time. It’s almost- sometimes I wonder if I was charmspeaking myself. That maybe I kept saying I was in love with Jason until I convinced myself I actually was. And with Hera and my mom setting it up… I love-” her voice caught in her throat, and Leo felt like maybe he needed to throw up, “-loved Jason, but not like that.”

“Pipes, I’m really sorry.” Leo squeezed her shoulder. “That sounds like it was super hard for both of you.” Leo felt awful about the fact that he hadn’t even been around to comfort either of them, but it wasn’t like he could fix it now. It was just another item on Leo’s unending list of epic screwups he’d never be able to make up for.

“Jason was… well, he took it exactly like I expected him to. He was surprised, but he didn’t get angry or anything. He mostly seemed okay. Part of me wonders if maybe…” But whatever Piper had been thinking about, she seemed to decide it wasn’t important. “It was hard to get a proper read on him, and as nice as he was about it, things were still super awkward after. I'm terrified he died thinking I didn’t care about him.”

And then she was tearing up again, and Leo thought he would shatter if she cried. 

“He knew you cared,” he said as earnestly as he could manage, pulling Piper to his chest again. “You love way too annoyingly for him not to have known. Hell, even I know you love me, and we both know I’m a fucking nightmare when it comes to this stuff.”

“I missed you so much,” she whispered, wrapping her arms around his back like it was the easiest thing in the world.

“Oh, I’m about to make you regret saying that,” Leo said, forcing himself to smile. “I’ll bring it up each and every time you say you find something I do annoying.”

“You’re annoying as hell, but you’re still my best friend.” He could feel her tears dripping onto his shoulder, and he knew that would make him start up again too. “I don’t know how I’d do this without you.”

And well, passing away from dehydration after crying too much would be a really lame way to die the second time, but everything was just too much right now, so if that was how he went, Leo wasn’t sure anyone could blame him.

~~~~

For the next couple of weeks, Leo stayed.

Helping Piper and her dad unpack was the perfect way to keep himself occupied and not have to think. Usually, a mundane task like this probably would have driven Leo nuts. But right now, it was a bit of a godsend—if not literally, at least figuratively. Being productive was always so much easier when it was done in order to avoid something you wanted to do even less. There was a reason his spaces in the foster homes had only ever been tidy when he had exams coming up.

He helped cook, too, and Piper’s dad became increasingly less garbage at it the longer this went on—like muscle memory was finally kicking in after years of disuse.

It was mostly good—listening to Piper reminisce about trips she’d taken with her dad and where she’d gotten the weird variety of items she kept in her room. When they weren’t unpacking, Leo and Piper played video games or watched movies or explored the area. Twice, during the night, they took Festus on a little flight to a nearby fast food place. Finding a parking spot was a bit of a nightmare, unfortunately. Leo would submit a complaint about their inability to accommodate celestial bronze dragons the first chance he got.

The first time they tried hiking—Leo didn’t even like hiking, he’d spent enough time outside for several lifetimes, why did he do this to himself—they got hopelessly lost in the woods, and of course, due to demigod bullshit, neither of them had brought a phone, so Google Maps wasn’t an option. It was probably for the better. The last thing that situation needed on top of them being lost was a monster attack. 

They were already jokingly planning out their new life in the woods when, thankfully, a girl their age came to their rescue.

“A human being! Thank the gods. The squirrels weren’t talking to us,” Leo greeted her, which had Piper shout “Please ignore Leo!” loudly from the branches of the tree she’d been climbing.

The girl lifted her head, spotted Piper and promptly burst out laughing.

“What in the world are you doing up there?” 

“Trying to get a better vantage point,” Piper sighed, making her way back down the tree. “We’re hopelessly lost.”

“Well, nice to meet you, hopelessly lost. I’m Shel,” the girl said, still grinning. Leo decided immediately that he liked her.

Piper had almost made it back down when she somehow missed a branch and fell the rest of the way. In comedic movie fashion, Shel moved before Leo had the chance to and caught her mid-tumble. “That was a bit of a dramatic way to get my attention, but you’re cute, so I’ll allow it.”

“Oh yeah, Piper’s got a bit of a thing with falling for people that way,” Leo commented, and Piper gave him her most murderous look while she got back on her feet.

“You guys need help getting back?”

“Please, yes,” Piper said immediately. “It turns out we’re both garbage with maps.”

“Maybe you just need a tour guide next time,” Shel suggested, winking at Piper, whose face turned scarlet. Leo wasn’t even mad about being the third wheel for once. He’d give her so much shit about this later.

And he did. And then Piper properly came out to him—no label or anything, mostly as extremely confused but sure she liked girls, which also made a few additional pieces click into place regarding her breakup with Jason. She ended her anxiety-riddled explanation by thanking Leo for being so normal and annoying about all this. 

Which was how Leo realized he’d apparently never told Piper he was bi.

Or maybe he had, and it had gotten lost along with their other memories of Wilderness. Stupid memory-stealing babysitters.

Well, at least they got to hug about it now. 

~~~~

It was strange how normal some days felt when nothing would ever truly be normal again. When in every moment Leo and Piper spent together, the gaping hole that had been ripped into their trio was so blatantly obvious.

The benefit and problem of this friendship was that Leo and Piper were both experts at not talking about things they were struggling with. 

This wasn’t exactly news. From what little Leo did remember of Wilderness School, they’d spent months not talking about his mom, or about the fact that Piper’s dad kept canceling their weekend plans. They’d both known there were things left unsaid, but as long as they’d been able to cheer each other up, that hadn’t really mattered. It made sense, honestly. Put two people who hadn’t had a shoulder to cry on for ages in a room together and see what happens!

Right now, this meant they were expertly ignoring the box of belongings Piper had picked up from Jason’s school. It had been pushed so far under the bed during that first night that it was no longer visible, and neither of them made any effort to move it out of its new home since. They ignored the topic of Jason, period, until it inevitably hit them in the face again. 

It was mostly dumb shit that set them off. Piper automatically reaching for vanilla ice cream at the grocery store because it was Jason’s favorite—seriously, who in their right mind even liked vanilla ice cream?

Sometimes, Leo would make a joke and burst into tears instead of laughing because he knew it would have cracked Jason up. They found old photos unpacking. One time, Piper’s dad suggested they make tacos and they started simultaneously bawling their eyes out.

Leo had spent a long time exactly like this—pretending everything was normal and okay when it wasn’t either of those things until he inevitably broke down. Then he’d started to actually feel sort of okay whenever he was with Jason and Piper. Now, he was sure he would spend the rest of his life pretending.

His appetite was too used to being stuck in survival mode for him to bow to nausea for long, so he went back to eating properly after a few days. He still cried himself to sleep most nights. He kept dreaming about Jason. The memories wrapped themselves around him like a safety blanket that he knew would get ripped away again in the morning. He always woke up feeling empty. Sometimes, he wished he could just go to sleep and never wake up again.

But other than that, it was mostly good.

Then demigod communications went back up, and everything went to hell.

———

Chapter notes:

Fun fact! I originally planned for this chapter (as well as the next few chapters) to just be backstory in my head and for me to maybe do a flashback or two. Unfortunately for me, Piper McLean waltzed into the room and refused to leave.

I do actually think the fic works better this way, but it will take a second to get to the plot! Hopefully you’ll enjoy the whole journey :)

I may not be able to have Leo and Piper go to Jason’s funeral without seriously messing with the plot of Tyrant’s Tomb, but I could at least pick the most evil reason possible for them not to go!

Side note: I sort of forgot that Hedge and Mellie were supposed to be here according to TBM, but by the time I remembered I already had this chapter written out and, as someone who cannot be bothered to figure out how to write them, I decided to just leave it. ToA is vaguely canon to this universe, but only for the most part. Some details are inaccurate, and I think that’s okay.

Anyway, thank you so much for reading! Comments and reblogs super, super appreciated as always!!

List of people that at some point asked to be tagged when I post this: @poppitron360 @ginnyluna @keefessketchbook (feel free to comment if you want to get taken off or be put on the tag list for future chapters!)

[irondad-defensesquad]

My Irondad fic recs!

I thought of doing this because why not? Admittedly, I'm not reading as much fanfiction as I did a couple years ago, but some fics have changed my life entirely. In case I forgot one, I'll add it later!

I would’ve organized this in a bullet list, but Tumblr hates me and invented a character limit for that. So this is going to be long and will be under the cut. Anyway, let’s do this!

Rare and Sweet As Cherry Wine by loubuttons – I've mentioned this one before, but this fic right here was what inspired me to write my own Irondad works. One very particular detail I like about it is how it portrays Maria, Tony's mother. It's not what I usually see in other fics about Tony's childhood, since they tend to make Howard the big bad parent. Of course, this is because I personally related to it, as I don't believe in the "bad parent vs. good parent". I also like that it praises Edwin Jarvis as the one who looked out for Tony the most. It's pretty realistic and a very melancholic character study, IMO. *TW for abuse and neglect*

You're Always Iron Man by madasthesea – a very short fic but I absolutely love the premise. Takes place after the big battle in Iron Man 2, and Tony finds little Peter again. They have a very endearing interaction. The following chapter is also very cute!

Nothing like a fresh cup of humiliation in the morning by madasthesea – Pure fluff! This one is probably a classic in the Irondad fandom. Tony kisses Peter's forehead without second thought. Shenanigans ensue. It's so adorable and funny. If you just want to read fluff without angst, this one is for you.

when my body won't hold me anymore (where will I go) by madasthesea - I think I heard about this fic thanks to @/irondadfics here on Tumblr, but I might be wrong since I already knew the Nice work, kid series. Anyway, Peter is believed to be dead, so Tony (and the rest of the Avengers team) is mourning him. In reality, Peter is astral projecting. You know, sort of like how Stephen Strange, in his first movie, was fighting a guy in the other dimension while his body on Earth was struggling to live. That's basically what happens. Strange appears, of course, and saves the day. And I pretty much LOVE the presumed dead trope. I don't know why. Maybe it's the angst of it all. *TW for grief/mourning and temporary character death*

The Reason by doctornineandthreequarters – I think I read this one when I was still writing Oh, take me back to the start. I was looking for fics for inspiration, and I found this one. During the Time Heist in Endgame, Tony remembers the reason he's fighting to bring everyone else back. It's very emotional.

Couch Cuddles by happyaspie – Classic sickfic, but with more fluff than anything. I like rereading it when I feel lonely and touch-starved, especially when I'm also sick like Peter.

You’re So Much Like Me (I’m Sorry) by SpaceCowboysFromMars – Irondad + Miles Morales! Peter is an adult in this, and he freaks out when an injured Miles arrives in his apartment. Tony gives him some wisdom about mentoring and parenting. I don’t usually find Irondad stories featuring Miles (and not necessarily a Spider-Verse crossover), so this was a nice discovery. Peter & Miles & Tony is a very underrated trio IMO. *TW for slight gore*

I'm Glad I Have You by punkybunny – Peter has been having a rough time, dealing with loneliness as Aunt May is not home often, and with bullying at school... until he finally has the chance to spend time with Tony. However, the demons don't disappear completely. Obviously, more Hurt/Comfort, lmao. *TW for nightmare/bad dream*

I Want to Trust You by punkybunny – Actually part of a series that, admittedly, I haven't read all the other stories. But even this one is a very interesting concept on its own. This is a Hydra Peter AU, after Peter has been rescued. He gets sick but given his past in Hydra, he thinks Tony is going to get angry. Peter is proven wrong when Tony helps him get better. The ending is very adorable. I'll see if I can read the rest of the series one day. *TW for past abuse and experimentation*

what you think I've done wrong by ironxprince – I don't often read Biodad stories as you all know, but I was, again, looking for inspiration for You keep me searching for a heart of gold, and I stumbled across this one. Basically Peter, as Tony's biological son, finally meets Howard. It goes as well as you think /sarcasm. *TW for physical abuse*

i, in time, will climb my mountain by ironxprince – This one is heavy. Once again, Peter is Tony's bio son, and he's suicidal. Every time Peter attempts suicide, he buys a new plant. Tony doesn't know this, so he's confused as to why there are so many plants in their house. I love this one, but of course, I try to read it when I’m not having a really bad day. *Once again, TW for suicide attempts*

how do you get that lonely (and nobody knows?) by parkrstark – Yeah... another heavy one. Peter attempts suicide but he saves himself before he reaches the ground. With that, he goes to Tony. This ends happily, don't worry. *TW for suicide attempt*

When You Can't Sleep by Emily_F6 – Pretty much Tony comforting a sleepy Peter, who has just had a nightmare about Thanos. Just Hurt/Comfort and domestic fluff. *TW for mention of death*

i get by (but it's eating me alive) by Livinei – Honestly, I think this is the BEST May's Abusive Boyfriend story I've ever read. For one, none of the characters are oblivious nor dismissive of Peter's feelings. May isn't neglectful and Ned actually tries to encourage Peter to tell someone. I also like that Peter isn't completely helpless. I don't usually see those things in other fics with this trope, sadly. And of course, Protective Tony is my weakness. *TW for emotional and physical abuse*

Hold Me Together by An_Odd_Idea – Post-Endgame where Tony is alive, and Peter and Tony are both trying to cope, so they rely on each other. Pure Hurt/Comfort.

A Tremendous Thing by ExpectoPatronum – Possibly one of my favorite Irondad stories EVER. Also post-Endgame with Alive Tony (though the author better explains it in the notes, it's supposed to be part of a series, but this story can be read on its own). There are a lot of references to Charlotte's Web if you're familiar with it. Basically, it's Father's Day and Peter is feeling guilty and out of place at Tony's lake house, even though everyone is readily trying to include him. It's absolutely beautiful and painful.

Hug You I Must by spiderwriting (catch_you_later) – Probably one of the first touch-starved Peter fics I've read. I like how it describes touch-starvation as this "itchy" current in your body, something that makes you anxious. Thankfully, Peter gets his hug later on. Plus there are some Star Wars references (the title probably is one, lol). *There's some minor violence here when Peter is fighting off some bad guys, but not the focus of the fic*

When You're There With No One There To Hold, I'll Be The Arms That Reach For You by Squibbles94 – Another touch-starved Peter fic. But I really like the references to Cast Away. Ironically I saw this movie in the same year the author published this fic (dare I say SHORTLY after it was posted). I also had no idea that Cast Away was entirely about isolation. Gosh, the main character's monologue at the end ALWAYS gets to me... anyway, yeah, the peak of the pandemic was awful to me, so reading fics like this one helped tons. It still does.

I am cold by N/A (orphan account) – Peter tries to visit Tony, but he gets lost in a subway tunnel on a freezing day. Eventually we learn why Peter wanted to see Tony, but overall this is mainly domestic fluff. Everything ends well.

Sorry Pedro by PinkEasterEggs – One of the first Irondad fics I read. Peter has a nightmare about Homecoming (mainly Toomes), but he avoids waking Tony for that reason. But thanks to F.R.I.D.A.Y's protocols, Peter goes to his mentor. Tony is also super soft here and it makes my heart swoon.

you are enough by diaz_evan – Another post-Endgame fic. Arguably I began reading Irondad fics only after Endgame released. Anyway, this one is short, kinda sad but it ends well. It’s Tony’s birthday and Peter feels very anxious about what to get him as a present. Thankfully, he doesn’t need to prove his love for Tony. *TW for panic attack*

Happy Father’s Day, Mr. Stark by downeylove – There are a lot of Father’s Day fics for these two, of course, but this one takes the cake for me. It’s simple but very endearing to me. Tony obviously doesn’t have good memories of this day, but Peter changes that for the first time. It’s really cute. Plus, Pepper is here, and I love her. I wish I could read more of her interacting with Peter. *TW for mentions of alcoholism and past child abuse*

5 Times Peter Didn’t Say He Was Struggling… And The One Time He Did by Bladam_Shevine – Again, an old fic I read years ago. I admit I haven’t re-read it in a while, but I remember enjoying it and even saving it to read offline. It’s basically what it says in the title: Peter struggles in many ways and he initially refuses help. Tony is always there to reassure him he can count on him. Bruce is here if you like him! And MJ helps Peter on one of the chapters as well. The chapters might get heavier as they go, but it ends on a hopeful note. *TW for injury, panic attack, suicide attempt (it doesn’t involve Peter), and depression*

The Good Days and the Bad by SoupGirlLovesSoup - Peter has had a bad day, now he's cuddling with Tony. It takes a while before Peter finally tells him what happened. It gets sad, but it's mostly fluff and it ends hopefully. I love re-reading it when I need the comfort. *TW for mention of suicide attempt, depression, and bullying*

Breathe Again by gwenoakley - Post-Endgame where Tony survives. He's recovering in the hospital and Peter finally reunites with him. Before that, though, we can feel the anxiety and trauma Peter feels. Definitely makes me emotional. It's the ending they deserved.

Popsicles and Playgrounds by ironfamjam - I can't believe I forgot to save this one in my bookmarks. I used to re-read this all the time! It's an AU where MIT student Tony meets a kid Peter. Eventually, Tony becomes Peter's babysitter! This is part of a series, which I still have to read fully. It's such a wholesome idea!! <3 *Howard's bad parenting is mostly mentioned*

Well, for now this is it! Again, I might add more fics here. I think I also could make a list of what particular concepts I want to read more in Irondad stories, so maybe you guys could give me your own recs. I might try to resume my habit of reading Irondad fics, because they give me a lot of comfort. Thanks for reading this far! I hope you enjoy any of the stories I included.

(I'm aware some authors here have their accounts on Tumblr, but I didn't want to annoy anyone by tagging them, so yeah 😅)

EDIT (June 4th, 2024): What Irondad fics I would like to read!

[xx-lemon-drop-xx]

HI! IVE BEEN READING THROUGH YOUR BOLG RECENTLY AND ITS MADE MY DAY!! I was wondering if I could request the DormLeaders with an Mc who asks them to turn the light off during Seggs because they are insecure?

-Galsscup Anon🥃

Hello! I'm so glad you like my blog! I only did a handful of the dorm leaders because I only write for characters that are 18+. Nonetheless, I do hope you enjoy your request!

Warnings: Vil being petty, gn reader, talks of insecurity, body worship, praise.

Request: Yes.

Words: 607.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

Leona Kingscholar

He literally stares at you for a minute with an unreadable emotion on his face. He looked a bit amused, in fact. 

"Herbivore, you do know I can see you clearly even with the lights off, right?" 

Leona is one to tease you about it lightly, especially since he can easily see in the dark being a beastman. Though he won't fight you against turning off the lights. He's too lazy too.  

And, if it makes you more secure he'll let you too. As your boyfriend, it's his job to make you feel comfortable. At least, most of the time it is. 

He mixes in slight praise with degradation when you have sex, as well as some slight body worship. 

He's going to try to change your mind about being insecure about your body, by showing you every single area he loves. I hope you're in for a long night. 

Vil Schoenheit

What?

He stares at you, almost with a gaze that makes you uncomfortable before just shaking his head no. Absolutely not. Vil has high standards. 

And because Vil has high standards he's not going to sit around letting you be insecure about yourself. This man cares for looks more than personality I feel. He flat out says he wouldn't be with you if he thought your body was ugly. 

Now your about to fuck in front of a mirror. 

Vil painstakingly shows you over the course of hours whole fucking you how good your body is and just why you should hold pride in your looks. After all, you are the most beautiful person he's ever laid eyes on. 

And he will make you feel just that. He'll stop at nothing to absolutely vanquish any bad thought you have about yourself. Because you are perfect. And you aren't allowed to think otherwise. 

Idia Shroud

He's also insecure. He was probably going to ask you first anyways lmao. You're both insecure and awkward. 

Very awkward sex. That's pretty much it. All you both really do is test each other's bodies. 

Of course, once you get into it he's probably going to fuck like a rabbit. He's whimpery too, and he hides his face in your neck in embarrassment too. 

I imagine his hair is a reddish color too from how flustered he is during this whole ordeal, though in the end he is a bit more confident and he hopes you're also a bit more confident. 

Afterwards there's a lot of cuddling, and mumbles between the two of you. In the end, he is happy you both had sex. 

Malleus Draconia

He's flabbergasted. This man is shocked beyond comparison. His brain is literally buffering as you said this. Throws him into auto drive. 

You're.. Insecure? About what? Your beautiful body? 

He's immediately praising you, and while he does turn off the lights, unlike Leona he doesn't say that he can see you- even though he can. Very clearly actually. 

This man has stamina beyond everyone else. He also worships you and your body like you're a queen. Because to him, that's exactly what you are. 

He fucks you dumb and makes you call yourself pretty, and beautiful, and amazing, and then praises you for that too. He wants you to feel special. So special. Because you are special. 

He does this all night until you're whiny under him. 

[wyndowpane]

What soft love songs the Fellowship dedicate to you (and why) <3

In the mood to make myself cry, plus I’m in my ‘i was i wasn’t lonely’ phase of the night.

Pulled most of these from my notes app lmao, and i listened to each one while writing, I highly recommend giving them a listen!

GN! reader, mostly you/your used :) (Obviously some songs will involve specified gender, please correct as you need, and remember that these characters would absolutely make these changes as well)

GIF by legolasimagines

Frodo Baggins - Hopelessly Devoted to You - Olivia Newton-John (Grease)

He definitely has the distinct memory of the classic slow burn moment of “Oh. Oh.” happening, where he realises just how much he loves you. He knew he was head over heels, and he looks at you like you hung the moon. And if you sing it to him- UGH😩💙. IN LOVE, HE SHALL BE. He probably hums it a lot when doing work or writing. Of course, the lyrics are quite relatable to him. Frodo has this internal belief that the person/people he love/s can’t love him nearly the amount he adores them. He was willing to sit around and wait on you, in the hopes that you would see him in the same way. His brain knew he should just move on, but he couldn’t let go, and he’s glad he didn’t. He’s so devoted to simply loving you.

“Hold on to the end, and that’s what I intend to do. I’m hopelessly devoted to you~”

GIF by frodo-sam

(gotta appreciate that me looking up his name resulted in a bunch of po-tay-toes memes. anyway. back to the hcs)

Samwise Gamgee - Hello, Hello - Elton John ft Lady GaGa (Gnomeo & Juliet)

He’s a sucker for meet-cute stories, and would unironically love this movie, even setting aside this banger of a song. The moment he saw you, he felt captivated by your beauty, whether or not the meeting went well or if you fell on your face. The song is just so cheerful and wholesome. He probably told you that the song reminded him of you, and that sparked the romantic relationship. Every time this sequence plays he’ll just look at you (if/when you watch the movie). PLEASE SING THIS AS A DUET WITH HIM AAAA. (He isn’t Elton John, but his voice is lovely 🥰)

“Hello, hello (Hello, hello), my, my, my, what have we here?”

GIF by tossme

Peregrin Took - I’ll Be - Edwin McCain

Honestly it’s hard to explain this one. It’s just so soft and sweet and really describes how he feels about you. Also as the youngest and a, quoting Gandalf here, “fool of a Took!”, the line “and I’ll be, better when I’m older…” is just- MWAH. This song reminds me of him honestly. He is, as the song states, “your crying shoulder”, the “greatest fan of your life”. Everything about you takes his breath away. We all know he’s the best singer in the fellowship, and its just gorgeous to listen to him sing it, especially because he means every word. He also probably dedicated this to you early on in the relationship, and it was definitely your wedding song (if you got married).

“I’ll be, better when I’m older. I’ll be, the greatest fan of your life~”

GIF by thorinsbeard

(tumblr needs more Merry gifs istg-)

Meriadoc Brandybuck - Nothing - Bruno Major

Honestly you wouldn’t expect such a lowkey song for such a high energy guy, but he’s a sucker for lazy days and sweet moments. He’s, as he likes to say, ‘work-avoidant’, and just wants to spend all his time on you. He also finds the song easy to sing to you, so thats a plus. The lyrics just resonate with him, similar to my picks for Pippin and Frodo. He’s very competitive, but he honestly doesn’t mind losing to you. He pretends like romantic or soft movies don’t make him cry, even if they do. He gets the appeal of going out and drinking and laughing, but just staying at home with you just sounds so much nicer to him. Its all about the little things in life with him, the small moments, the laughs, and every ‘I love you’ that makes him feel lighter than air.

“Dumb conversations, we lose track of time. Have I told you lately? I’m grateful you’re mine~”

GIF by thefandomimagine

Aragorn - Dark Red - Steve Lacy

He knows how dangerous his work and life is, and he’s always had this fear of leaving you behind (hence the ‘something bad is ‘bout to happen to me’). He only sees you in his life, no matter who else is wanting for his attention, he’s so devoted to you. He only hopes that you’ll stay by his side and fight with him, and he’s not willing to give up on you. No, he refuses to give up when you are involved, and he fights so hard to keep you safe and protected. The song also is easy to mumble to you when he’s tired, and it’s soothing for him to listen to. It’s just a symbol of how much you mean in his life, and how he trusts you with his heart.

“Only you, babe, only you darlin’, only you~”

GIF by reactionimages

Legolas - Lover - Taylor Swift

Unabashed Swiftie in general, but this song just hits different. So first off he probably already called you his lover, and when he found the song he thought it was perfect. I can definitely see him learning guitar and playing this song for you as well. Into the actual song analysis, this song frames his want to be close to you, the mysterious way he was drawn to you, the way he felt like time flew by whenever you talked. Also I feel like he’s made jealous relatively easily, and that’s also in the song. His heart has been borrowed before, but he’s glad he’s ended up with you, to hear your jokes, save you seats, and call you his lover. He definitely likes to sing this to you late in the night, and i can see him humming/mumbling it whenever the two of you just stand and hold each other. Its so wholesome, and he loves the way your eyes light up when he sings it with all the love in his heart, all of it for you.

“You’re my, my, my, my… lover~”

GIF by tlotrgifs

Gimli - If You Love Her - Forrest Blakk

Honestly, he’s not a very observant dwarf, but he does pay attention to you. He knows you, and he cares a lot. Protective of you to a fault, but just wants everyone to know that they shouldn’t take you or your heart for granted. He hates to admit it, but he thinks you are precious (I’M SORRy-) and every small thing about you is worth taking note of. And he does, so he knows exactly how to make you happier. He’s your personal hype-man, and truly believes that you are the best thing he has ever had. He uses the song as a guidebook on how to treat you, and while he won’t say it, or sing it, he does play this song for you and leave in a huff, just hoping you’ll know this song is meant to say that he loves you. (He might even dub it over with your preferred pronouns for the big reveal, and it’s quite funny)

“They’ll love you, if you love them like that~”

GIF by myrkvidrs

Boromir - Summer Love - The Workday Release

Boromir really thinks this song demonstrates his feelings towards you, and how he wishes you’d stick around with him. You remind him of the summer, warm, bright and hopeful. It was so simple for him to fall in love (it’s like counting 1,2,3). He’s awestruck by your beauty, and doesn’t find it enough to dream about you, he needs to be holding your hand, feeling your presence. He wants to face the world with you there next to him. You always manage to give him a smile, make sense to him, and be honest. He’s not sure how to articulate everything he feels around you, so he just says that he loves you.

“Surely this is love, this is love, this is summer love~”

WOOOOO IM DONEEEE

Ive been writing for the past 2+ hours and it’s late and I’m tired, but I really hope you enjoy. If you want to request a fic, any fandom will do, I’ll get back to you on it, I promise.

Let me know if you want me to do a Part 2 with some other characters <3 Have a great day!!

[hms-no-fun]

so, (SPOILERS FOR FIONNA AND CAKE but its relevant to the question but im gonna put a bunch of line breaks just in case lol)

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so fionna and cake ended with fionna basically being like, you know, youre RIGHT god, if magic came back my wish would simply be twisted and it would suck, there will be no rule breaking miracles! I will now work as a struggling minimum wage employee in seattle and Be Happy about it. i sure am glad the threat of losing everyone i know and love set me straight!! sorry to send u this really random thing the ending just felt like such a slap in the face and i wanted to ask someone who knows that exact Seattle Struggle. this is absolutely me appealing to the Writing Gods to back me up that the ending wasnt very good lmao but if i have a direct line to the craftsgoat i simply must use it for something stupid at least once

FULL SERIES SPOILERS FOR FIONNA & CAKE AFTER THE BREAK!!!

i really disagree with your read on the ending. it didn't feel like "just struggle with seattle minimum wage forever and be happy about it" at all to me! the whole instigating incident was that fionna wanted to transform reality into something that she personally thought would be better, without taking into account the fact that other people exist and have internal lives just as complex as hers. she comes back to her original world to find marshall and gary holding hands, explains to them the magical adventure she's been on and the fact that their world is about to transform into something unrecognizably magical, and they receive this with abject horror! fionna doesn't know whether simon becoming ice king again will erase marhsall & gary's burgeoning relationship, which makes her realize that in her quest to escape the boring, oppressive reality of working odd jobs to make ends meet, she's only ever focused that energy on how to make things better for her.

i really want to dig into this because it's a key theme of the show. there is a destructive selfishness innate to the "heroes" of this universe, who feel entitled to the joyous empowerment of being able to defeat anyone and everyone they see in open combat. cake has a whole musical number about this! simon's arc in the last two episodes was betty grabbing him and shaking him until he finally asked himself, how would my life have been different if i'd just once let the woman i loved steer the ship for a while? and then of course we see the lich in a reality where he succeeded in eradicating all life, only to find himself desiccated and without purpose, begging the god of chaos for an answer it cannot give. brian david gilbert's ice prince seems perfectly put together and successful, until the reveal that he's outsourced his madness to someone who didn't accept the terms of the crown's curse. this didn't solve the fundamental problem, it just inverted the roles of its expression by making princess bubblegum into the mad candy queen. nothing about the status quo has changed, simon has simply given himself a more dignified role in it.

this is a story about what happens when people in struggle behave as though they are the protagonist of reality. when fionna says "this is the world i want to fight for" she's not fighting for the right to get another shitty minimum wage job. i think you've really missed something by accepting that conclusion when cake the cat is right there saying that her magical self IS the version of herself she wants to live as. being a normal house cat for her was, arguably, a form of body dysmorphia, and the show lets her keep that magic at the end! the thing is, their world IS changed by the events of the show! the status quo is altered!

like, what do we actually see everyone DOING when the credits approach? we see this entire disconnected community banding together to rebuild the city together, and we see a huge crowd of protesters outside marshall's mom's place demanding that she lower rents. we see people connecting with other people, including three outcasts from other universes escaping to this more boring one for their own safety. i loved this ending honestly, because it felt to me like an attempted refutation of the very idea that you can magically transform reality into something better overnight. if fionna'd gotten her original wish and made her world into, like, candy world, then... what? let's say they play it as like, at last people are freed from the shackles of capitalism and everyone just gets to be weird funky critters going on adventures or whatever. what would that, as art, actually say? what would that mean to us in the real world? if we're going into this cartoon looking for some kind of revolutionary energy (which IS present in the text, much to its credit), what actionable or symbolically resonant message are we supposed to take from a story that resolves its problems with magic? at that point, it ceases to be relevant as anything more than pure fantasy, because it has abandoned any connection to the material reality WE are trapped in.

i don't want to magically transform the world overnight. this whole show goes out of its way to explore how trying to transform the world overnight, in a world where such a thing is possible, is a really fucking bad idea for a whole host of reasons. regardless, such things aren't possible in our world. so going into the finale, my worry was that they WOULD turn fionna's world into another candy world and just say, ah, the revolution is when you think the right things so hard that the material plane bends to your will.

that's neoliberal thinking. that's like the essence of the failed leftist project of the "end of history" era from the 90s onwards, when marxism was systematically rooted out of academic cultural analysis and replaced with the delusion that if you can just get people thinking the right things, you can affect change in the world. well here we are, it's 2023 and all that magical thinking has got us is a world on fire and a civilization of human beings so thoroughly disempowered that they would literally rather pretend to be a tortured anime protagonist than exist in this boring, shitty, violent reality. you can't think your way out of oppression. raising labor consciousness is, at best, step one. you want to know why unions are winning big right now when they've been completely useless in this country for decades? it's because they've stopped giving a shit about optics they can't control and remembered that the boss's value does not exist without labor. you do not necessarily need marxism for this, marxism is simply the most accurate articulation of the fact that workers who make the things a capitalist sells can kneecap the capitalist by refusing to make the things they want to sell. change doesn't happen with the publishing of a book or whatever, it happens when enough people in real life press their material demands hard enough that someone in charge is left no choice but to listen.

so for me, fionna & cake ending the way it did was a huge relief, because it wasn't espousing magical thinking. the solution to fionna's ennui and economic anxiety was not to just get another job and be happy to live in the world as it was-- it was to create a sense of shared community and struggle, uniting the not-seattleites in their survival of a near-apocalypse and using it as a jumping off point for fundamentally transforming the state of that world as it exists. fionna had to realize that her problems are everyone's problems, and that making her life personally better at the expense of everyone else's agency is just an act of kicking the can of responsibility down the road indefinitely. no one who gets their wish in this show is happy to have gotten it, or avoids punishing others who didn't ask to be involved.

the "canonization" of fionna & cake felt like a reaction to the idea that we in our world are permanently isolated from the fictional realities we create where change seems to come so easy, and the powerlessness that can engender. instead this show is saying, okay, let's say we are in continuity with these fantastical realities. what do we actually DO with that? how do we make this world more fun, more interesting, more fulfilling for everyone to live in? the answer is the same as it's always been, and no other answer would ever feel satisfying: you do it by organizing the workers against the current arrangement of the state with the explicit goal of transforming it for the better.

what does simon do at the end when he gives fionna her world to her? he says that no one person should have that responsibility, that it's been in one person's hands for too long. so he gives it to her in the form of a dandelion, whose blown seeds merge with and become part of everyone trying to survive the scarab's attack. the idea here is that while no single person ever possesses the power to transform the world on their own, the world itself belongs to all of us, and it is within our power to transform it together. those who hoard power want us to believe that this is not the case precisely because the basis of their power is fraudulent and maintained through the violence of the state.

as someone who does live in seattle for better and worse, as much as i do wish i could make literally anything better right the fuck now by whatever means necessary... the fact is i can't. and it does no one any good to labor under the assumption that i or any other individual has that kind of absolute transformative power. the solutions are all right there, and they are simple, materialist propositions whose only difficulty lies in how successfully we've been propagandized to think that the individual is God, or at least speaks on His behalf. there's no thinking our way out of this pickle, and no one's gonna do the hard work for us.

as to the question of how you actually get people in real life to get together and do all that hard work... well, personally i think it's unfair to ask a 10 episode cartoon show to give you any kind of actionable advice on that front. i might even go so far as to say that such an expectation is an expression of the very same magical thinking which the show tries to push back against! in any case i liked it quite a lot and i hope this rambling answer encourages you to revisit the show and reconsider some of your takeaways

[hahskeleton]

⚠️MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR TLAES/TSAMS SPOILERS!!!!!⚠️

Okay so WHATTTTTTTTT ECLIPSE GOT THERAPYYYYY!!!!

I know Moon made him go but I think it actually did him a little good! I’m being actually truthful, here, I think Eclipse really considered confessing a few things, but I also might be wrong. Eclipse could definitely still be putting up an act for all this but like he’s said in previous episodes, he never actually did anything he’s hated for doing. That was the previous copy of him, he’s just a replacement.

When he was asking about how Lunar was dealing with the whole *BOOM* thing and Earth was like, “We ain’t gonna talk ‘bout that” I’m honestly kinda glad. That would’ve probably flourished into a weird, long, argumentative conversation. On Eclipse’s part, tho, Earth’s pretty chill :)

When they were talking abt how Earth was coping with seeing Eclipse explode and Eclipse was like, “Yeah, how does that feel btw? Terrible? Scary?”

and then stuff happened and it led up to him saying, “You never know when your just going to go BOOM.” holy heck I should draw that. lmao I’ll probably be drawing a lot for this ep

also at the end when Moon fricking APOLOGIZED??? HUH??? Where was that hiding the whole time??? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am so happy Moon finally said something to him, and damn it silenced Eclipse, too!

When he said, “You probably don’t want to hear it, but, I’m sorry for leaving you behind.” And eclipse DIDN’T SAY A SINGLE THING LIKE- holy moly man Eclipse I wish you actually took that relatively seriously. When that part came I was just-

ALSO when Moon said that specific line “I know you probably don’t wanna hear it, but,” we forget Sun has said the exact same thing to him before, except not him, it was Old Moon he said it to. In that episode, Sun said VERY DISTINCTLY, “I know you probably don’t wanna hear it, and I know I don’t say it often, but,”

This honestly probably means absolutely nothing, it’s just something I’m pointing it out—

Anything thing, when Eclipse first came in and Moon was like, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he was talking like he went into a dentist’s office and his kid was misbehaving. Also Eclipse is a five year old at heart and you can’t change my mind. The way he walked in and just started insulting everything and throwing sh!t around was kinda funny to me.

Also, yeah, Earth noticed he was avoiding trying to talk about himself and his problems, and she was right he was definitely doing that. He would change the subject whenever Earth asked something remotely close to his feelings or his trauma.

I have a lot more to say but I don’t wanna make this post any other than it has to be so yeah… I’ll probably post another ramble and rant post today sometime to ramble about Eclipse and lore and stuff.

[goddessjichu]

in which the both of you are just two (oblivious) idiots in love

565 words // just fluff // they are dumb af lmao

[☽︎ ☽︎ ☽︎ ]

You don't remember when it started.

Not that it matters. Because, at this point, you've fallen way too deep for Jeon Jungkook anyway.

Not that it matters either, because he doesn't know and you don't plan on letting him know. For once, you're glad that Jungkook is dense when it comes to your feelings even though he's pretty much sensitive to everything else.

You think it's simply because he's crossed you off his list; it probably never strikes him that you, of all people, would harbor any romantic feelings towards him. After all, you're his best friend and best friends are supposed to care for each other and spend time with each other 25/8, right?

Nothing weird about him laying down on your lap and folding himself small to lean himself on your shoulder, right?

Absolutely nothing weird about him calling you at ungodly hours because he forgets you're on the other side of the world during his trip abroad, and you willingly wake up to answer his call without saying shit about it, right?

Yeah.

"Is it just me or are you a little out of it these days?" You blink at the sudden question, his voice snapping you out of your mind.

"Huh?"

He clicks his tongue and shakes his head jokingly, his shoulder bumps into yours as if to shake you awake from whatever's keeping you in your mind.

"See?" He grins. "Out of it. What's in that pretty head of yours?"

Stop. You want to tell him. Stop making my heart flutter when you're not even doing anything in particular.

Pathetic. You want to tell yourself.

"Nothing." You shrug, hope that it's enough to convince him. "Just zoning out."

"You're zoning out because you have something in your mind, though."

"Not this again." You roll your eyes, making him laugh when you fail to elbow him because he moves away before you can even do anything. "It's really nothing, Kook. Don't worry."

"Hmm, 'kay. I don't buy that but I'm letting you go for now." He nods to himself, not minding your exasperated sigh. "I'll get it out of you one day though. Don't think I'd forget."

You doubt he will, because you have no plan to tell him at all about your predicament. No, you genuinely believe your feelings would pass even though it's been about a year since you tried to convince yourself that.

"Whatever." You try to change the topic. "You look chirpy. What's up?"

Jungkook blinks. "I do?"

"Yeah. Anything good happened?"

Jungkook thinks back about the package that has just arrived today, a limited edition LP that you've always mentioned you want but you can never find anywhere. It was a mission finding it, let alone purchasing the thing, but your birthday is around the corner and imagining the surprise in your eyes and the smile in your face is going to be more than worth it.

"Nah. Just that your birthday is around the corner."

"Aren't I supposed to be the one chirpy about that, then?"

"Well, I'm already looking forward to what you're treating me to this year." He wraps his arm around your shoulder and shoves you into his chest. "I'm so going to eat a lot and make you broke."

You roll your eyes and jab his waist, Jungkook's laugh echoing through your apartment.

It's going to be worth it, alright.

[emelinstriker]

eternal champions au <33 i wanna know more about the oracle, whats his deal? What are 'masters' opinion on him, whats HIS opinion on 'master', what do the champions think of him, what are his opinions on champions. Also, he has an extraordinary design, I just wanna compliment him TvT

First off before the lore crumbs, his reaction about that compliment since he never gets compliments... c:

(Even though he's one of my absolute fave OC's despite being one of the actually very recent one's from only early this year-)

Oh boy, lots of lore crumbs, here we go-

I can't really say much about what the Master's opinion is on the Oracle since the Master is the Reader, and the Reader always changes depending on the person behind the screen. But in the case of the Reader's personality I use in my ESAU one-shots, their opinion on him is... well, quite tolerant. They're aware of the Oracle's presence. They have a hunch of what he, and especially his colleagues, are capable of. So the Master is quite glad this ominous cloaked fella and his colleagues are rarely ever seen directly.

But they know they're watching.

Wukong feels very uncomfortable around him. Usually he doesn't feel anything whenever someone with a concerning energy is around. But it's like his forgotten memory is trying to warn him. As if he's met this guy before, despite having only met him after waking up to seeing First Master.

Macaque is also uncomfortable around him, but also feels somewhat terrified and he can't explain why. It's like a sudden instinct to keep away from the Oracle whenever Master isn't around to support him with their presence. He can't even hear this masked guy's heart or breath.

Mink hates him. Well, he hates this entity's colleagues as well. He's also a bit paranoid whenever the Oracle is around. Not necessarily scared of how he blankly stares at him, he's seen worse than that. But just... The fact that he was one of the ones who forced him to be like this makes him fear that he might do more.

Nezha also hates him, but it's more like unspoken, silent hatred. But it's unsure whether or not it's the Oracle's cryptic demeanor that's making him angry or maybe something he can't remember.

MK feels rather conflicted. On one side, he feels like he can trust him since this ominous fella has done nothing but help his Master and the palace... But there's also something off about him. Like, he knows about things the champions don't.

Red Son feels safe and calm with the Oracle. As in, whenever he does encounter him on rare occasions, it's more of a silence of understanding around them. He describes it like it being a strange way of comfort.

Azure is intrigued by him. There's just something about him that makes him raise an eyebrow. He knows the Oracle is hiding himself very well. But the language he speaks sounds familiar. It's like he's heard it before he woke up with his servant mindset.

Meanwhile the Oracle doesn't hold much of an opinion on the Master or their champions. After all, they're nothing but figurines you can play with in his eyes. Nothing more, nothing less...

Well, besides maybe Red Son. But it's more of a mutual understanding and respect they have going on. However, that's simply a mirror-bias take.

There's so many lore crumbs in this you could almost make a cookie out of em lmao fhgnfhgfgfg

[terrah-lee]

I can listen to you rant for hours why what Raph went through in turtle temper is bad. I don’t care what the reason is it’s never ok to dogpile someone.

Ehehehehe I will never say no to an excuse to go off about this episode. Glad you’ve enjoyed my rants lol. And on that note, I don’t think I’ve actually posted about it on here so HERE WE GO:

I will probably never be subtle about Turtle Temper being one of, if not, my *least favorite* episode of the 2012 series. There are a few episodes in this show that handle the turtles’ (Raph is far from alone here) struggles poorly, but this one in particular just really pisses me off. We start off with the boys on a roof trying to catch the kraang and we see Mikey pestering Raph. Totally fine, siblings be like that lol. My issues with the episode don’t necessarily start until they get back to the lair, and Splinter decides to be uh… hm, not smart? He puts all the blame on Raph for them getting caught and recorded, blaming it on his inability to control his temper. Now, that would work… if Mikey hadn’t been the one being loud and pestering Raph until he snapped in the first place. Seriously, they were on a mission and Mikey knows Raph tends to react to being pested, but he continues until Raph snaps. Wouldn’t have a problem with this, but Splinter puts ALL of the blame on Raph! For that to make sense we have to pretend Mikey had no idea what he was doing. We aren’t treating Mikey like a baby in this household, he knows he was being annoying. I want to be very clear, though: I’m not mad at Mikey here. He’s a teenager messing with his brother and that’s normal. My issue is and will always be Splinter here.

Then we get to the part of the episode that just… why? Splinter has the “brilliant” idea to have Raph dodge arrows while his brothers insult him. The goal is to teach him how to control his temper in a fight and what happens when he doesn’t right? Cool, goal makes sense. What I don’t like is the method. Look, Raph is an emotionally volatile teenager, but have you met teenagers? That’s kinda just how they are because their brains are basically on fire changing so much. What Splinter does here isn’t an affective way to teach anyone, let alone a teenager. Raph gets humiliated in front of pretty much his entire social group. He can’t defend himself. Humiliation is a good tactic… as a threat to prevent people from committing crime. What does it do when someone actually experiences it? Oh, it encourages revenge fantasies and other harmful ways of thinking. Yes, this has been researched. Basically, Raph should have learned *nothing*. This method of trying to teach him was cruel and completely useless to boot. Raph’s temper is absolutely a disadvantage for him in fights. That’s just kinda what anger does in that situation. Treating Raph this way just wasn’t the way to handle it. Honestly I could go on about how Raph’s instinct of “destroy that damn phone” was right but we literally see that play out in the episode when they try negotiating with the guy lol.

Anywho, yeah this episode drives me nuts. Telling someone to control their anger does not magically give them the ability to control their anger. Also, don’t expect teens to just know how to deal with emotions! No I do not care that they are ninja Splinter, they’re fucking teenagers help them fix the mistake don’t berate them for it. If anyone wants me to expand on this more lemme know I can talk for ages lmao.

[thelanor-s-astame]

Hollow Knight Resurrected really helped me get out of a massive writing slump when it started releasing, and has since been a huge boost of inspiration for the past couple of years. This series has been nothing but a lot of fun to watch, and I've enjoyed it alongside your analyses as well (especially the Ori ones, those are a riot).

That being said, which episode would you say you're the most proud of script-wise? And how long did you initially plan HKR to be early on? Did anything deviate from your initial ideas?

Absolutely love hearing this! I'm real glad I could make something that could inspire someone else's writing! Like, it's shocking to me! And I'm sorry for the lack of updates. My entire life kinda imploded last year and I've been trying to put it back together. But I do intend to finish this thing (I've also been learning how to animate in blender which is a huuuuuge door opener that kind of allows me to do literally anything, including a few scenes that I just had no idea how I was gonna do.) So as far as script-wise, Absolutely gotta be the Grimm special. A lot of the episodes have Charlie just walking around and most of those bits are just jokes that came to my brain while either playing to get the footage, or while I'm looking at it on a timeline. Whereas most of the dialogue bits are the ones I write. The Grimm Special, is mostly dialogue. So that *entire thing* was script, which I hadn't done before, and on top of that it was enough script to fill almost 90 minutes! There's also just a lot going on, particularly w/regaurd to generational differences and how each of the Troupe deals with Grimms Plan and how it absolutely isn't going to pan out. And it changed pretty quickly from early on just because I didn't have a hellova lot of initial ideas. Like the first time charlie mentions getting to "The Bottom" is in like the 3rd episode. I didn't think to give the boy a goal until halfway through editing that one lmao. Most everything else has gone according to plan. Biggest surprise was actually the Grimm episode because until a month before I made it I had no fuckin' clue what to do with Grimm and His Boys until I remembered a throwaway line I gave to cloth about the "Iridescent Neo-streetfighting movement" (A play on the Italian Neo-realist movement. Because all of the fighting history is just simplified film history I put new words on top of And was like "You know, I could just take that and make that Grimms Circus act... But if that's the case... well so after that the big thing the Italian Film Industry got into was Spagetti Westerns, and then a little later Giallo so... Oh fuck Rodeos and Giallo is just The Weird Bloody Fighting Grimm Does for An Audience" And went from there. But aside from that there hasn't honestly been a tone of deviation from the original ideas I'd set in place since episode 3. Mostly I've just added bits and pieces here and there. Exept for maybe a lot of Hornet's stuff. This was meant to be a quick, few episode series as a prelude to the Silksong Videos i was Bound to have been finished with by now lmaaaaaaao Some stuff in particular was this idea that Hornets deal is that she can essentially See the internal song of someone, and that was going to be, like, a huge combat thing. Similar to how Charlie keeps changing his name, Hornet would keep trying to find a different song. Bringing back the My Body Is A Cage meme, and eventually having it switch to Swimmers by Zero 7 as she realizes she found her home and is ready to move on from Hallownest. I was going to make the Silksong videos the First Series Like This I did. But it's taking it's time and so am I so I s'pose I can't complain. Swear I'm the only human being on the planet who wipes a little sweat off my brow every time we *don't* get a release date. It's like "OH THERE'S STILL TIME FOR ME TO FINISH MY THING!"

[threebooksoneplot]

love this podcast so much! this is probably a bit of a nuts ask but i just wanted to let you guys know that you've genuinely helped me in real life- I was approached by two Mormon missionaries today (i live in the UK so it was Unexpected to say the least) and for the entirety of the conversation I was remembering how you mentioned on one of your episodes (99% sure it was you guys) about how being on missionary is most Mormons' first experience of the wider world so you should do your best to be polite etc. all the context you gave genuinely helped me navigate the conversation so much lmao, you guys are entertaining AND educational 10/10

oh wow!! daaaamn, good for you!

and yeah, that sounds like something we would say. I (G) can't seem to dig up receipts right now but the tl;dr is that oftentimes, door-to-door evangelism of the kind mormon missionaries and jehovah's witnesses engage in is less effective at converting people, but highly effective at reinforcing to the group's members that all outsiders are Cruel And Sinful and therefore you should never leave The Church because that's where the only good and kind people are.

but also, like, 90% of the time the reason I (G) try to be kind to mormon missionaries is because they're like 20 and have never been allowed the simple joy of a macchiato (but must try to fill that void with vile concoctions of dr pepper, gummy worms, and half 'n half, apparently.)

also, let the record show that "being kind" does not mean showing any interest whatsoever in converting to mormonism, or leading them on to that effect! but it costs $0 to wish them a nice day and be a shining example of how wearing spaghetti straps does not in fact lead to sacrificing live goats to satan.

anyway. we're proud of you, anon! glad you like the ole podcast 🤠

—G

yeah this is awesome to hear!! and even to add onto this, that sort of advice is pretty good to utilize just in general when talking to people from these ultra-conservative, super-sheltered (and yes, usually religious) upbringings. like G said, you don't need to lie to them and make them believe that "oh yeah totally i'm absolutely going to see you this sunday and I sure will consider changing the entirety of my belief system/morals!" but, yknow, just be kind. it's good to do even for Normal Regular people you see on the street. but this isn't sesame street so I won't start that brand of schoolyard lecture.

semi-related, but a little tangential: my super-strict catholic high school used to invite mormon missionaries to come and 'speak with' specific religious classes (usually the TrulyCatholic bitches took these) every year. and every year we heard about how "lol the ridiculous mormons keep coming and being nice to us to try and talk about their religion as if we're EVER going to change our minds and believe in their FAKE and WRONG version of christianity?? isn't it so stupid that they're so patient and kind to us even as sister catherine anne stands back and lets us bully—I mean, debate these guys? anyways I wonder when the morons—I mean, mormons, will stop coming back. 😌💅"

and to this day I still think about those guys! because I never understood their willingness to come back every year, and I could not fathom why they were consistently so nice. learning more about mormonism through this podcast has really helped my ex-catholic ass look at the outside world and be like "oh, we were the assholes. I mean, I knew that already, but shit." and tbh i'm sure they honestly loved coming to my school, because nothing will solidify your own stance/opinion on a group of 'outsiders' than a mob of privileged ravenous catholic teenagers. anyways, let that be a refrain for you on your new day-to-day: don't be like the catholics, be kind. amen 🙏

—shannon

[illegiblehandwriting1]

wanna ask this cause i really like your fics, and wanna see how you think on this 👀 so a lot of fanon has other links being bitter towards hylia, but wouldn’t it make more sense for sky to have a bitterness/fear of Hylia? considering it was confirmed to his face that he was legit MADE to be a hero, fight demise and had his entire journey manipulated by hylia? and would that cause conganitive dissonance with his relationship with zelda?👀👀👀

HI hi hello :D jksgrzfnhieaklmgrjihdkloifndk THANK YOU SO MUCH, I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE MY FICS I APPRECIATE YOU SO MUCH <3 <3 <3

you just asked, like, one of my favorite questions ever rjghskgbvjkdehgijk sorry if this gets...long

Ok ok ok ok I COMPLETELY agree with you!!!! I think sky is a man of extremes - he either loves you or he despises you. For the most part, he adores everyone (other than a few key people cough cough ghirahim and demise cough cough). His whole convo with Zelda right before she sealed herself away fucked with him SO MUCH, because suddenly he is trying to cope about the fact that the goddess his entire culture idolizes manipulated him, and what makes it worse is that Zelda is the reincarnation of her.

ANYway, i think he absolutely hates Hylia, yeah! I think he despises her and is so bitter towards her and would be completely fine if she straight-up died! In my mind, he doesn't like any deity, really. He's had enough interactions with gods that he is absolutely comfortable telling them they all suck and he hates them lmao, but that's a tangent. It makes a lot more sense to me if he hated Hylia, but what might make others to disagree is the fact that Zelda was Hylia. Fortunately, I have a solution for that as well!!

When Zelda talks to him right before she seals herself, she mentions that she didn't know, she was happy to be his zelda, etc. So in my brain, after Demise dies, she has a full-on identity crisis (and probably also a "oh my gosh Link probably hates me" Moment cuz she knows him so well) where she's not sure who she is, if she's a goddess or just Zelda, cuz now she has all these memories that she remembers but she didn't experience them (Sun and Wild would be besties and you can't change my mind lol). So i think that Sky couldn't hate Zelda, and so they both work it out and they can both separate Hylia from Zelda and see that they're two different people. So would there be dissonance in their relationship? Sure, briefly, but they love each other and they work it out and both of them dislike Hylia, they're such a power couple and will fight god :D

As for fanon having other Links be bitter towards Hylia, I guess it works?? idk it works at first glance, but then i always remember that they have no fucking clue who Hylia is. Wild knows, obviously, but he's on good terms with her. I just think it's occasionally a little funny to see the Links ragging on Hylia when they canonically don't know she exists.

(my personal hcs are that the Links, especially Ledge and Time who are typically the most outspoken about it in fanon, pretty much just want nothing to do with the gods. They're more focused on the immediate "i can save this person and the world" part. Also, Time has his whole Master Sword thing. but in general, i think that any bitterness towards the gods (most likely the golden goddesses) is pretty surface-level and they don't think much about it. Not a single Link would regret saving the world. I think that's something I don't often see - they chose to be heroes, and they would do it again without hesitation. They just wish it didn't cause so much trauma. However, Warrior having religious trauma due to fighting a war and feeling like he and his soldiers have been abandoned, similar to WW1 soldiers, is just something so important to me :P)

uhhhhh i feel like there's something i missed but idk. I've thought about this A Lot. Actually, if you want to see a really clear-cut example of how I think Sky feels about Hylia, you can check out Smoke & Ashes, which is a LOT of angst so PLEASE BE CAREFUL, but chapters 13 and 14 are very prominently about how they feel about each other (in my head). yes i am shilling, but i love this fic lmao.

hope you have a lovely day, anon!!! tysm :D

[melonteee]

The more I hear about the changes in the LA the more I'm glad I stopped after the second episode.

It would be fine if they limited themself to changing how some scenes playout or how some events go in order to fit the thighter run time (I'm not a fan of the change to Zoro eating the ruined riceball in the marine base town but I can see why they did it like that) but changing integral parts of the character's backstories is just unnecessary especially if it makes them worse (Nami's village not knowing of her deal with Arlong).

And it's a shame because the actors seem pretty good from the episodes and clips I have seen and I feel like they could do a pretty faithful interpretation of the straw hats but the script they have seems like an abridged version of One Piece.

Honestly I actually don't know why they changed the riceball scene at all, it would've been an incredibly easy scene to adapt over. Luffy needed motivation to go to the marine base, in the original, Zoro was his motivation. Luffy needed to run into Nami in this version I suppose, but instead of looking for the same map as Nami, he could be running in to collect Zoro's swords and happens to run into Nami breaking into a safe that has both the map and Zoro's swords in it. It would flow much better and show our characters motivations and persons.

In this live action Luffy just literally stumbles across Zoro, not even knowing Zoro is at the marine base. Zoro has no need to be tied up at all, he even gets his OWN swords back ?? Why take his swords from him at ALL?? The original riceball scene was charming because we saw Zoro putting the little girl above himself and YELLING at her to get out due to him knowing she'll be punished if she's seen. We see him rejecting food even though he was starving to prioritise the girl's safety. In this new version, this little girl just offers him food (for some reason?? I genuinely thought they must've known each other) and Zoro rejects it for no reason, just cause he's an asshole here I guess, then HE starts the fight with Helmeppo??

If Zoro didn't reject the food, nor if he just let Helmeppo be, nothing would've happened LMAO he literally instigated the fight. Helmeppo wasn't even a PRESENCE in that bar like he was doing fucking nothing. There is absolutely no showing of Zoro putting anyone's safety above his own or his tender heart in the new scene, it felt more like he was doing it just to piss Helmeppo off for no reason. He even looked Helmeppo in the eye and went "MM, DELICIOUS" when Helmeppo didn't even HEAR that line in the original because it wasn't meant to be Zoro pressing Helmeppo's buttons. I am convinced the reason they changed the fact that Zoro got tied up for MONEY and not for keeping the little girl alive and safe, is because HE would've been the literal cause of that?? LMAO like it was such an absurd change that just makes Zoro look like an asshole

[chrimson-oc-central]

Confessing Feelings

This is another long one so I’m putting it under the cut!! (Also please excuse the old art again)

So in my head Chihiro and Neji knew each other since their academy days, so they’ve been friends for a hot minute. As they get older they both kinda have those “??? Are we something more???” kind of feelings.

For Neji those feelings start to creep up after the Chunin Exams when Chihiro came in to check on him after talking with his uncle. She tells him that she was really worried about him, but she’s glad it ended well, and it makes his heart flutter a bit but doesn’t really understand what it means cuz??? Of course she’d be worried??? They’re friends??? And Chihiro is very loyal to her friends. So why does this feel different??? He decides to suppress it cuz… feelings are weird LMAO!

For Chihiro those feelings were way more sudden (poor thing). It happens when she hears about what happened during the Sasuke retrieval mission, and the serious injuries that Neji had and how he would have to go through the tedious surgery to recover (I can’t remember if it was that tedious but it really fucked my head up back in the day so).

She’s sitting next to his hospital bed, tears flowing down her face when her feelings start to hit her. she has the distinct thought of, “I can’t live without him.”

She starts to feel a bit confused about it, and as he recovers she thinks that those extreme feelings she felt were just a result from seeing her oldest friend in such a state and does her best to ignore what she felt.

(Side note that mission was what made her start to develop a bit of a grudge against Sasuke , but that’s a whole other can of worms.)

So through the years those feelings come and go, both of them doing their best to brush them off cuz what if the other one doesn’t like them that way??? (They both like each other they’re just dumb.)

Neji finds himself getting really mad and grumpy whenever he hears how Chihiro was talking to another guy because the elders in her clan want to make sure she’ll eventually get married and have an acceptable heir. And his brain kinda goes like:

“Why are you mad?? She’s the heir of her clan of course her family would want her to meet someone to marry???”

To: “I wanna… hold her hands…”

He doesn’t think he’s worthy enough to be in a relationship with the future head of such an old and proud clan (he is though he just has self esteem issues).

Chihiro has absolutely no interest in any of the men her elders try to match her up with. She only talks to them to get her elders off her back, but she always ends up turning them down. She knows it’s her duty to her clan, but she just can’t see herself with any of those guys???

So one day she’s hanging out with Tenten (they become friends after they both become genin) and she’s venting about all this to her, and Tenten is like, “Well, close your eyes and when you think about marriage and such, what kind of guy do you see??”

So she does that and guess who she sees??? It’s Neji!!!!

Chihiro: uh oh

Tenten asks her what she imagined cuz boy howdy Chihiro’s face is turning quite red, and she ends up turning away and quickly trying to change the subject.

Tenten: *smirks*

Tenten knows they like each other LMAO!

So on the next mission Tenten goes on with her team, she nonchalantly tells Neji that she was talking to Chihiro about those guys she has to go see and how much she wants nothing to do with them, and she sees Neji’s brow ease a bit for a moment. His attitude is suddenly a lot better on that mission.

Tenten: oh yeah, it’s all coming together.

Side note: Lee knows that they have feelings for each other but wants to be respectful towards them both so he doesn’t bring it up often. He sees how much it can pain them.

Ok so this part is so self indulgent it might be a bit too cringey but WHATEVER it makes about as much sense as what happens in canon SO I DON’T CARE!

So fast forwards to THAT Part tm

(Oh also I haven’t gotten this far in the actual show so details might be off because I honestly don’t want to even read about this I’m weak.)

Chihiro refuses to allow him to sacrifice himself. Like she’s frantic. Going a bit feral because why is he doing this?? Why can’t he see how important he is to her??? And that’s when she finally accepts her feelings towards him. And she has a moment of clarity as she pulls out a scroll with her family crest from her pocket.

So this scroll is essentially the Osaka clan’s trump card. In the past it’s only ever been used to protect the clan from wars and especially strong enemies and such.

The scroll can only be used by the head family, and it basically summons the founder of the clan, Omikami (she’s kinda a god/spiritual entity so that’s how this makes sense LMAO).

She merges herself with Chihiro, and it’s a massive power boost; nearly unlimited chakra, hundreds of years of battle experience and skills, etc., etc.

And she uses this power to pretty much shatter the threat (again haven’t gotten this far in Shippuden yet so I don’t know exact details I’m sorry) and/or ends up sealing it up in a huge sakura tree that will feed off whatever’s left of it until the end of time (this makes about as much sense as stuff that happens in canon and that’s my excuse).

Of course, that much power comes at a high cost. You don’t get nearly god like powers for free after all (unless you’re Naruto I guess but this ain’t about him).

Once she’s completely done with the fight, they separate again, and Chihiro is so weak she can barely stand. Neji runs up to her to help her, and he’s still so shaken he kinda yells at her for doing that. He feels a bit bad and apologizes to her, and he shakily asks why she would do such a thing, to use such ancient power for a mere branch member of the Hyuga clan.

She kinda laughs and whispers, “you’re the most important person to me. I’m… pretty sure I’m in love with you.”

He just kinda stares at her, not sure what to say. Everything and nothing are running through his head all at once. The only thing that’s clear is her, lying in his arms looking up at him with those blue eyes. She’s literally covered in dirt and blood but to him, in that moment, she’s the prettiest woman he’d ever seen.

Their moment is kinda ruined as Omikami approaches them in her wolf form. She doesn’t say anything but instead just kinda looks at Chihiro. She just kinda nods, and tries to stand on her own again. She has to give her payment for that power with her life, so her power and experience can be added the next time the scroll is used.

Neji is furious. She keeps trying to explain everything to him, but he’s not having it. She just told him something like that and now she has to die??

He grabs her wrist and yanks her away from the wolf, and he offers himself in her place; she’s too important! She’s her clan’s only heir! She has so much she has left to do!

Him offering himself pisses off Chihiro big time.

“I did this for YOU! For YOUR life! You can’t just throw it away like this!!”

Besides, Osaka blood is needed for the sealing to work; it’ll just fail without it and like… things will explode etc. etc. it’s not good.

He just huffs and grabs her hand as she reaches out to offer herself up. Their fingers intertwine, and if it wasn’t for the situation that they were in, it probably would’ve been calming. He looks right at the entity before them in the eye.

“You need a full human life for payment, right?” He asks, “then take half of mine and half of hers. Your payment would be satisfied, and she lives.”

Chihiro protests, saying that it can’t work like that, that what if they end up dead, what if it’s not enough, etc. etc.

And he tells her that if all else fails, he’ll fight for her, just like how she fought for him.

Omikami just kinda smiles, and she walks over and touches her nose onto both of their hands; she accepts those terms.

Next thing he knows Neji is waking up in an infirmary, and the first thing he asks the nurse is where Chihiro is and if she’s ok.

The nurse tells him that she’s still unconscious and hasn’t woken up yet.

They made him stay in the hospital to keep an eye on him, and a few days later Tenten and Lee run into his room and tell him that she’s finally woken up. He clambers out of his bed, the nurses telling at him not to move too quickly but he doesn’t care!! He asks Tenten and Lee to take him to her room.

They agree (obviously LOL), and Sakura is in her room with her, checking her vitals and keeps reassuring her that Neji is ok (they’re so dumb they both nearly died, and they just keep asking about the other).

He nearly breaks the door open (bruh it’s fine it’s not locked lol) and his breath hitches when he sees her; she still looks really tired, and a bit out of it. But her eyes meet him and she smiles weakly at him.

Even though there were three other people in the room, he decides to just break character and rushes to embrace her. he held her so close, but not too tight cuz he doesn’t want to hurt her. He feels himself choke up as tears start to flow down his face, but he doesn’t care; he’s just relieved that she’s still here with him.

He turns to her whispers, just so she can hear, how much he loves her too.

She slowly pulls her arms around him as well, and they kinda let each other just sink into each other. At that moment they both decide that they can’t live without the other.

And they’re 100% gonna fight the elders and get married cuz BOO HOO THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO THEY’RE GOING TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT!

[livestosave]

Here's the secret:

I might sound repetitive here and there, but I'm really happy to see you back in rpc 💖 I mean it. I don't think I'll ever match your level of thought put into your muses and their lore, that's extremely impressive, but I do enjoy reading about them. They're delightful! I kinda wish I could match your creativity, so we could vibe even more! I'm happy to interact with you and I love our ooc talks. You're easy to talk to and very kind. I'm happy that you have plenty of muses, because as much as I adore your take on James, it could be a bit awkward to write mirror/twins au or something alike for longer term. If you'd be down for it ofc. And since you have awesome Qrow, Clover, Astika and others? I'm a happy kid in a candy store hahah 💖

Bonus secret: currently I'm working on a cosplay's scale piece made of spoons, which left me today with plenty of spoons, simultaneously having none 🤔 I so love-hate this costume lmao

You know darling, I had a super rough week at work last week and seeing this in my inbox made me so happy that I didn't actually want to post it. I just wanted to see it in my inbox every time I popped into it, so it could make me smile even when I wasn't feeling good.

I'll level with you all: the last few years have been harder for me than the pandemic ever was. Many of my hobbies - writing included - fell by the wayside in the last 3-4 years since I've been here, and finding my voice as a writer again has been a struggle. Many of my friends have long-since left RPCs I was in, leaving me feeling a little lost and adrift in communities I felt deeply rooted in previously. It's been hard to come back and make new friends and re-make my community presence, and even harder not to hold the struggle to find my voice as a writer against myself.

When I say that messages like this are why I love the Tumblr RPC, despite all it's flaws? I mean it with my whole heart. There is nothing I treasure more about the Tumblr RPC than the collaborative writing aspect that has brought about some of the deepest, longest-running friendships I've had in my life.

Darling, thank you so very much. This was a real treat in a week that made me feel small and tired, and an utter delight in a time of my life when I've been doubting my abilities as a writer. I am so happy that the loving work I put into these idiots shows, and even more glad that someone else likes Astika even half as much as I do, haha! You're such a dear person, and such a wonderfully kind friend to send this, and so creative in your own right! Sometimes being a writer is rolling with the punches, and you do that so brilliantly! I'm always game for new threads, and if one isn't currently vibing, I'm always up for trying out another. It is the benefit of having as many muses as I have, that's for sure! That cosplay also sounds amazing, and I laughed far too hard every time I read the line about the spoons. So bonus points for you on that one, dear. And if you have come to the conclusion that Arthur inherits his tendency for terms of endearment from my own speech patterns, you would be correct.

Herami, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for sending me this. You're an absolute gem, and people like you and Lime are why I will always come back, even if I'm away a long time. The topography and population of the RPC might change, but I'll always come back.

[shatterthefragments]

Ok friend, I am assigning you Dispose and also Swan Song from The Plot in You. I need to know which are your favorites. (Or if you end up hating everything else lmao)

ALRIGHT FLOOD, BUCKLE IN!!!!! 😁

Ok I might have to just not mention all the perfect lyrics because holy fuck DISPOSE is so fucking perfect in every way. (Will mostclkkely be repeated for swan song too) edit: absolutely repeating/ adding this for Swan Song as well!!!

Rigged

FUCK. THE FUCKING LYRICS.

The heartbeat drums. The fucking VOICE HE HAS 😭

“How many times do I have to fight”

…is that a fucking theremin?

“What’s left in me?”

“What’s left in me / guess we’ll see” FUCK RIGHT OFF THIS IS MY WHOLE FUCKING ESSENCE. (“What happens when your best is not enough? Guess I’ll find out” fun fact I’ve written snippets of lyrics based on that recurring thought fixation. And I’ll continue to do so.)

Fuck,, the emotions. This is the perfect opener fucking shit.

Not just breathing

(Do I even mention the perfect lyrics when it seems they just always hit??)

“I’m just trying I’m just fighting to say I’m alive I’m alive and not just breathing”

STRINGS TOOOOOOOOO AAAAAH 😭🥰

One last time

STRINGS MY BELOVED

“But I lay here awake too afraid to dream / cause if I might have to face myself / I’ll buckle at my knees / tell me one last time how I never tried”

“Pushed my pain aside / cause I could never give it to those” and that entire whole ending verse are so perfect aaaah

Also I adore hearing all the different instruments??? I probably wouldn’t have noticed as much all the different parts but I listened with headphones one night.

Also like??? The way he sings “as I lay here Awake /too afraid to dream/“ just feels so familiar and I want to crawl inside the AWAKE growl. And the way the music is behind it and licks up for the chorus?? Ugh 😍

I always wanted to leave

“I always wanted to leave / i guess it’s a shame / I’m so damn destructive /(and you’re so reluctant to mean what you say)”

This one hurts a lot 💖 (I have always wanted to leave. I was so close to moving across the country for school. but money. And now I feel trapped because this place is the only place where I can usually stand the weather. So I can’t leave. But I do love now beautiful it is here too.)

Like I listen to a lot of cathartic music. But I actually sometimes have to skip this one bc I’m not fucking ready. (Keeps singing the single line”I always wanted to leave” over and over regardless 😅)

Feel nothing

This is fucking everything to me.

Everything.

Beautiful. Haunting. Perfect.

“I hate it but I long to feel what I felt before”

“What’s here for me? Why hide the truth?”

Happy

The sounds do something to me.

“I think I’m happy / knowing you arent” fuck me Up!!

The one you loved

First TPIY song in my likes and omg. I just. I love it so much.

“I try to hold on ‘cause I know I hate to lose” “Was the change in me not strong enough?” “Time with you is what I dread”

“Was there something else? ‘Cause I tried my best” but truly every lyric.

Paid in Full

I can’t tell what the sound is reminiscent of to me but it’s tickling some sort of nostalgia.

“I blame myself for this” is probably the hardest hitting to me (I’m working on that)

The sound

Absolutely beautiful. I remember seeing you post this to tumblr and I was. A little hesitant to listen to it tbh. But I am glad I did I really love it. It went into my likes (but I shan’t elaborate on which ones exactly are in my likes bc sometimes I’m bad about that they just end up in my on repeats instead)

First verse my beloved. (Says the exact same about the rest of the song) (sometimes I have to skip this song too but it truly is so beautiful and I love it)

Plus sax??

Disposable fix

I have a LOT of fucking feelings about the title alone. And how the album title is DISPOSE ending with a longer version dispose-> disposable fix and. It’s.

“It’s just a show and I’m the one that takes the blame”

And ending on “ I'm done contemplating with it //

You're not a victim of shit

I put myself on the back burner

Held myself back for you I'm a disposable fix

I'm only stating the facts And now I've got nothing to lose, no” is absolute insanity (or the best thing ever)

This is a song I absolutely love. (Even though I can’t relate to the fucking) this is another song I sometimes have to skip.

Other times. I absolutely looped this on my lunch break until I swapped to one of the songs I hadn’t written for yet so I could hopefully post this for you before I go!!!

Swan song

Is so fucking perfect and a tad uncomfortable at times in the way the feelings writhe inside of me (similar to the DISPOSE songs I sometimes to often have to skip but it also feels a little different with this album too)

Letters to a Dead Friend

…

The shifting tone through the song…

“We probably fucked each other's lives but now we're makin' do

It's so sad, it's so sad, the way they look at me Like I've got, like I've got, answers to anything You know me, you know me, l've got a lot to say But it's in vain, it's insane and you won't feel the same”

“I don't wanna face the things that I've done wrong

Done wrong, or did right It should be me in the ground a thousand fucking times

And my voice, how I'm heard

When you were triple the man and now you fill the dirt”

This one hurts, but I also have to admit that I haven’t literally buried a friend that I was super super close to. (Just. Huh. I guess more kids have died than I thought actually…) …anyway.

Fall again

I love it. I’m not sure what else to say.

“Was a way to escape the life that you chose

If you fall again, you're on your own

Untied my wrists, I won't sink with them

No tears fell down my face

I was loved in a crooked way

And my fears weren't aimed at you”

Face me

The layering of the vocals here is just!!!!!!!!!! Adding it into the music behind it is. sending me into orbit.

I am refusing to analyze the lyrics and pick a favourite here ✌️✨

Mmm. Maybe. “I don't feel like catching prey

But I don't feel like anything

I sit in my head, stray from the truth

Pick at the scabs, don't look at the past, got something to lose

But I feel the tension from every direction”

Too far gone

MY FUCKING BELOVED

Every single part. It feels familiar in such a Way. It’s such a part of me.

Paradigm

I really like the sounds in this.

There’s a lot I could say about the lyrics. But. I don’t think I will. It’s jsut really perfect too. ✌️✨ sometimes I hum a little bit to myself but I don’t always recognize it as Paradigm.

Both to blame

Going from looping disposable fix to the opening of both to blame has a similar sound and I am just PARALLELS and OBSESSED.

Opening

“Who do you wanna be?

It never made much sense

I never gave you what you need

Grew a separate way most every day

But I'm happy that you left And oh it hurt so good I found solace in regret And like half the time I'd weigh the crime like you left me your debt” is so good 🥺

“We’re both to blame / I left you alone with no one / I’m ashamed / it’s killing me the things I said” anyway this is a very good very Close song.

Too heavy

Not only is this really pretty. It’s. Fuck. FUCK. I often feel like I’m begging for love. For a chance to prove I’m worth something or anything.

“And you got me begging for your love

And you got me begging for a chance to prove

So maybe someday we'll be something

Maybe it'll be alone

So for as long as I'm alive I'm giving everything to you

It's all too heavy for my heart to lose”

Enemy

FUCKING. YEAH. THIS.

Prettier than it has any right to be.

I sure fucking am the enemy, as much as I try to rewrite this.

“could pause life there

I don't need a thing, don't need a voice on me I just need this to stay Will you (tell me if you feel)

I can feel your skin

Nothing beneath it (how do you think I feel?)

Empty, full of spite

Let impulse decide (tell me if you feel)”

Whole without Me

<em>everything</em>

“It’s all much easier alone / and I’ll lose everything for you”

“As I was self-destructing

And I just need you to know I tried letting go but nothing would let me”

“my arms, slowly starts to slip away

I'd gone too far, I'd fed into an aching soul

Believed the lies I told myself, and they took control

This image burned into my sight”

“my arms, slowly starts to slip away

I'd gone too far, I'd fed into an aching soul

Believed the lies I told myself, and they took control

This image burned into my sight” these are the ones that stood out the most to me in the first few listens without looking at the lyrics yet. (But should I repeat perfect lyrics again orrrrrrrrr)

Also I really really love the music behind it too.

The last lines. FUCK.

Freed

Oh fuck. Well. Freed. Freed my beloved.

“You’re tearing out the pages of me”

I love the sounds in this so much!!

FUCK THE ENTIRE CHORUS IS FUUUUUCK.

Anyway 100/10 song

Thank you so much for recommending The Plot In You!!

these two albums and Crows are VERY GOOD and I love them!!! (Who knows when I ll be able to listen to more. Maybe if I download some more but idk if I’ll get to it before I go tbh 😔)