#glad one of my thesis paintings made it in there :)

[tothechaos]

2023 Tumblr Top 10

1. 111,207 notes - Jul 15 2023

glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts

2. 63,917 notes - Nov 18 2023

ever since i was a small child i knew i wanted to have an unemployable skillset

3. 28,241 notes - Nov 1 2023

people will try to make you forget that youre made of meat. do not EVER forget that youre made of meat.

4. 14,600 notes - Apr 8 2023

white knuckle gripping it through a silly little oil painting of kermit the frog because i feel disconnected from my body and am...

5. 13,432 notes - Sep 22 2023

happy friday to all the freaks faggots and transsexuals the horrors persist but so do we!!!!!

6. 12,920 notes - May 18 2023

men love to be shoved and grabbed and thrown around and pinned down its like enrichment for them

7. 5,172 notes - Sep 2 2023

8. 3,920 notes - Nov 17 2023

im the guy that does all the smoke in haunted houses. they keep me in a room and im just smoking bowls all night. it doesnt even...

9. 2,571 notes - Dec 24 2023

thinking about "almost christmas means it wasnt christmas" and all it means. imagine you are phoenix. you have spent years and...

10. 2,011 notes - Oct 5 2023

is that the emergency alert broadcast system test in your pants or is your oenis just making an extremely loud sound

Created by TumblrTop10

[flowerandblood]

Rokeby Venus

[modern! photographer • Aemond x female]

[warnings: sex content, domination, sexual tension, fluff]

[description: Aemond is a photographer dealing with works referring to the painting of the old masters. His sister poses in class for a girl who catches his attention. He decides that she would be a perfect model for one of his photos. Lots of sexual tension and slowly built fascination.]

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

This is Part 5 (and the last) of story: Girl with a Pearl Earring

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After the photo shoot Aemond had to go straight to a family dinner. She didn't know what to think about what he had told her, but things started to clear up pretty quickly. Later that evening she received a long text from him.

[Aemond]: "Next week my photos will be in a large group exhibition. I want you to go there with me. Your portraits will also be on it. I will drive us there in my car. You can decide whether you want to sleep in a separate or shared room in the hotel. Think about it and give me an answer tomorrow."

She was shocked by his proposal. She wondered if he wanted to take her there to show off. She didn't like the thought.

She felt like she wanted to think it over calmly and didn't reply back, afraid that the sudden joy and excitement might lead to a hasty decision. She wanted to think about what this would entail.

She guessed that then she would definitely get the label of his lover and the woman who got in front of his lens through his bed. Even though it wasn't true, she dreaded the thought and felt uncomfortable with it. She blushed at the thought that she might have chosen to sleep in the same room with him.

The next day he came to her in the morning when she was alone in the painting class, taking her completely by surprise. She thought he was trying to get her decision out of her, but he came to tell her that he had already chosen the painting they were going to replicate this time. She gave him a shocked look when he told her it would be Rokeby Venus painted by Diego Velázquez.

She knew it was a female act, and even though woman's back was to the viewer, she would have to pose naked for it. She swallowed hard, putting the paintbrush down on the easel and looking at him uncertainly.

"Then everyone will be talking about us sleeping together. You're about to graduate, but I'm staying here for three more years." She said to him with a hint of resentment, recognizing that he hadn't thought at all about what awaited her after he got bored of her. Aemond pursed his lips, frowning.

"Let them talk. I'm going to sleep with you now and after I graduate." He said it so seriously and calmly that for a moment she thought she might have misheard. Her cheeks turned scarlet. She lowered her gaze, ashamed of his directness.

"Tell me if you don't want it. I won't hold any grudges." He immediately added, looking at her expectantly. She was silent for a long moment. After a while she swallowed hard and looked at him, defeated.

"I want this." She said softly. Aemond smirked at her words.

"Good. See you at the photo shoot." He muttered, giving her one last look and left the room, leaving her alone with his words.

From that moment they became a couple.

Since then, she and Aemond have been texting each other a lot. They arranged the details of the photo shoot and their trip. Aemond would often show her paintings he found interesting, and decide with her which ones they should use in the future for his thesis.

She was glad that he took her opinion into account throughout this project. She could see how serious he was about it. He also no longer showed dissatisfaction when posing for a portrait she was painting. On the contrary, during the breaks he would come up to her and watch her progress. He made remarks to her which were often right and helped her improve her painting.

"You have a very sensitive eye for color and chiaroscuro. You solve it in a very interesting way. I like your expression." He spoke casually and she smiled warmly at him. He looked at her and pursed his lips.

"I want to kiss you." He said softly.

She looked at him surprised. She was touched that somehow he was asking her permission. She moved closer to him and let him do what he wanted. His lips were warm and wet, pressing against her hungrily.

Neither of them tried to bring about full physical intimacy. They knew that their first time would be at an upcoming photo shoot. They didn't talk about it or even suggest it. It just seemed obvious.

On the day of the photo shoot, she felt a lump in her stomach from the morning. She took a shower and dried her hair, putting it in a bun like Venus had in the painting. She arrived at the studio a few minutes early, unable to contain her excitement any longer.

She saw that Aemond had really taken care of the scenery this time. A variety of thick light and gray fabrics lay on a wooden platform, with a cherry-colored bedspread thrown diagonally in the background. The only object lying there was a large decorative mirror. Aemond flinched at the sound of her footsteps, and they both looked at each other with wide eyes.

She couldn't look at his face in embarrassment, so she quickly moved to the next room to change. Undressing slowly, taking off the layers of clothes, she had the impression that she was also getting rid of illusions and what she was denying herself.

She wanted him more than anyone else in her life.

She put on a thin robe over her naked body, knowing that she wouldn't be able to just walk around the room without any cloth on her. She opened the door quietly and looked out. Aemond looked at her, his mouth parted slightly. She saw him swallow hard and drop his gaze, apparently unable to contain his excitement himself.

She walked on bare feet to the wooden platform where she was supposed to lie down. She turned her back to him. She felt her hands tremble as she untied her robe. She inhaled sharply as material slid to the ground.

She lay down on the soft, fragrant fabrics and rested her head on her hand, just like in a painting. She saw her face reflected in the mirror, flushed and hot, her eyes shining, her mouth full of desire. She thought that she wanted to be a goddess to him today in every sense of the word.

His Aphrodite.

She heard his quiet footsteps. He stood behind her head.

"Lift your right arm a little higher. That's right, perfect. Tuck your right leg deeper into the sheets. Stay like that." He spoke softly and she heard the shutter sound.

"Turn your head a bit towards me. Yes, that's right. Look at my reflection in the mirror." He said with a hint of excitement, and she blushed even more, actually seeing his face behind her in the reflection. She heard the shutter sound again.

Aemond took a few more shots from different positions, tweaked some of the fabric to make it drape better, and finally took another series of shots.

She heard him shift again and waited patiently for his further instructions. She shuddered, snapped out of her toughts when she felt his hand untie her hair, letting it fall freely down her back.

"Look at me." He said, his voice trembling slightly. She saw in the reflection as her lips parted involuntarily, her eyebrows pressed together pleadingly, her heart pounding like crazy. She was unable to move.

"Look at me." He repeated softly, his hand gently grabbing her cheek and turning her face towards him. His gaze darted from her face to her collarbones and soft, firm breasts, heaving uneasily. She lay shivering on her back, resting her head on the soft sheets, surrendering completely, letting him look at her entire naked body in the lamplight.

Aemond stared at her with his mouth slightly parted as if he wasn't looking at a human, but some divine being he was afraid to touch. His fingers brushed gently over her soft cheek as he sat down next to her. For a moment he just stared at her in awe as if he couldn't believe she existed.

"I would like to see you too. All of you." She said quietly, ashamed of her own words.

Aemond looked at her, swallowing hard. It was obvious that he felt better as an observer of events than someone who had to open up to someone on his own.

He lifted his hands lazily and took off his turtleneck. She pursed her lips seeing how well built he was. He stared at her intensely as he unbuttoned his pants. He smiled as he saw her nipples harden at the sight of his naked body.

"Do you like me that much?" He asked teasingly, purring as he lay on his side next to her. His hand ran gently over her body. She tried not to look at his hard, throbbing manhood.

"What can I say since you look like a greek statue." She mumbled, looking at him with wide eyes. He chuckled lightly, and she blushed as she saw for the first time that something amused him.

"You're so sweet. You caught my eye right away." He said leaning over her, kissing her bare shoulder. She blinked at him in disbelief.

"What do you mean?" She asked quietly, his fingers on her body driving her crazy.

"When you turned to me for the first time when I was looking at your painting, you looked at me like a girl from a Vermeer portrait." He said, his hand caressing her cheek gently. Her fingers rose to touch his hard, bare chest. She felt a shiver run through him.

"I knew that if my cock was hard from just one look from you there was no hope for me." He murmured, leaning over her, his mouth pressing down on her greedily, sucking on her lips. She moaned into his mouth, surprised and aroused by his words.

He pulled her close, kissing her hungrily, his mouth caressing and sucking her lips as if they were ripe fruit. She moaned softly, delighted, tangling her hand in his hair, returning each kiss with devotion.

He pulled away from her, wanting to look at her body again. He ran his hand down her cheek, over her shoulders, down to her breasts. His fingers traced gently over her soft skin, teasing her nipple once in a while.

She felt her cheeks burn, the space between her thighs crying out for the long-awaited fulfillment. She moaned softly, wanting more intense caresses. He smiled as he decided to take his time, touching her body as if she were a map he was slowly discovering. The touch of his fingers made her body shiver.

"Do you know how often I've imagined this before going to sleep?" He asked quietly, his voice quivering slightly with excitement. He was delighted with the view that lay before him. His hand slowly slid between her thighs, and she sucked in a breath, meekly spreading her legs in front of him.

He inhaled sharply at the sight. His fingers slid between her moist, warm entrance, gently massaging her clit. She moaned, pressing her face into the fabric, unable to bear the tension building in her lower abdomen.

"Please…please, I need this so much." She whispered helplessly. Aemond remained unmoved.

"I'll make sure you remember it well." He purred, massaging her a little more intensely. He forced his tongue between her lips, muffling her loud moan. They both started breathing louder, kissing chaotically.

She threw her head back and squeezed her eyes shut as she felt his finger slide inside her, rubbing her wet skin exactly where she needed it.

"God, Aemond, yes" She moaned, her hips moving involuntarily to the rhythm of his hand, seeking the desired fulfillment. All she wanted was to come and finally feel relieved.

Aemond licked his lips at the sight. To her delight, he slipped his finger out of her. He pulled her buttocks closer to him, lifting one her thigh up, threaded his hand through her hair, and kissed her hungrily. His tip teased her entrance, sliding in and out slowly, causing both of them to moan to each other's mouths.

"Please, please, please" She moaned like a prayer, trying to impale herself on him harder, wanting to feel him deeper, but his hand held her steady.

"So wet and horny for me. I will reward your devotion, sweet girl." He said as he pushed deeper into her, she moaned loudly, her hands clenching on of his back.

"Yes, yes, Aemond" She sobbed as she felt him finally start to move faster, entering her fully, panting heavily. His hand gripped her hip hard, pumping brutally into her with the wet sound of bodies hitting each other. They gasped into each other's mouths, kissing once in a while, writhing under each other in pleasure.

When she was looking at their bodies writhing in exciting, hot, sticky pleasure she thought they were like Aphrodite and Ares. There was something raw about him, like in sculpture, inaccessible, aggressive and sensual at the same time. They snatched their love from each other, fought for it and for their fulfillment, fucking mercilessly.

Aemond forced her to lie on her back and began to fuck her with all his might, panting and moaning loudly with her, neither of them controlling their movements anymore.

One of his hands propped up beside her head on the sheets, and the other slid between her thighs, rubbing her clit with calm, confident motions that drove her crazy. Aemond groaned low as her core tightened on him.

"You're so tight." He said helplessly, he had never wanted a woman so much in his life. "I'm begging you, tell me you're taking birth control pills."

"I do, I do, please, come inside me" She sobbed loudly and he opened his mouth in a silent moan, his hand closing around her buttock and fucking her even faster, on the verge of breaking down, putting all his strength into it.

"Is this what you want? Want me to fill you?" He hissed, feeling that a few more thrusts and he would come.

"Yes, please, please, please" She moaned helplessly and loudly, throwing her head to the side as she felt a wave of orgasm run through her body. She squeezed her eyes shut and her lips parted, unable to catch her breath. She heard his helpless, low groan.

"Oh, God... Fuck!" He moaned, laying helplessly on top of her, feeling his warm cum spill over her insides. His hips moved inside her for a moment longer. He rested his head against her face, closing his eye, breathing raggedly.

"My muse. My Goddess. My Aphrodite."

_____

Here I decided to end my mini-series. I had a great time writing it, thank you all for receiving it so warmly! If you liked it, here is my Masterlist and my other fanfictions! ♥

Aemond Taglist:

(bold means I couldn't tag you)

@its-actually-minicika @notnormalthings-blog @avgdusterfan @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @random-ocity @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid

Others:

@tinykryptonitewerewolf @malfoytargaryen @toodlesxcuddles @fan-goddess @skikikikiikhhjuuh @diosademuerte @hanula18

[erina-writes-headcanons]

Hello, how are you? ♡ Can I ask for headcanons with Akashi, Midorima and Imayoshi and how would they react with their partner who is Chinese and doesn't know how to speak any language and speaks very little of the boys' language? It would be fun to see their reaction when they see their partner speaking Chinese in front of them. Thank you so much if u see this and have a good day or night 😊

Akashi Seijuro, Midorima Shintarou, and Imayoshi Shouichi with S/O That Speaks Chinese but Cannot Speak Japanese

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Hello, there Anon. I try my best to make the portrayal of their character based on their personality and I would like to apologize for replying the ask late because I was focused on TOEFL as well as my Thesis. Warning: None Gender: Neutral

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Akashi Seijurou: Rakuzan High School

Surprisingly he can speak Mandarin because his father forced him to learn many languages. However, his Mandarin is not fluent, he can only speak broken Mandarin.

As his girlfriend/boyfriend, you luckily could understand his broken Mandarin and he would be glad that you are the one who taught him to speak Mandarin but in exchange he wants you to learn Japanese too.

A great excellent teacher who has lots of patience, doesn't get angry easily if you speak in a broken Japanese. He knows Japanese can be hard so he would teach you the basics of Japanese.

When you speak complete Mandarin, he could only understand some of the words and try to communicate with you but since like I said he has a broken Mandarin, there would be lots of grammatical errors.

If you get better in Japanese after he taught you some Japanese. He would make you learn Japanese at a higher level. He also wants you to learn Japanese so he can introduce you to his father.

In exchange, he would be willing to learn harder so he could be as fluent as you. He doesn't want to end up having a miscommunication and having an argument with you.

When he speaks with you and slips some Japanese words, he would immediately try to correct himself so you could understand what he was trying to say.

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(Y/N) walked through the halls of Rakuzan High School, the air heavy with the weight of academics and the excitement of approaching matches. As she strolled, her gaze was drawn to the familiar sights: polished floors, stoic paintings of previous basketball champions, and students scurrying around.

In the middle of all this commotion, (Y/N) recognised him: their/her/his lover, Akashi Seijuro, the basketball team captain. He stood tall and composed, commanding attention effortlessly. She approached him with a sweet smile, her heart racing with adoration. "你好(Hello)," she greeted in Mandarin, her voice a gentle melody in the quiet corridor.

Akashi turned to face her, his heterochromatic eyes alight with warmth. "你好," he replied, his Mandarin slightly halting.

A soft chuckle escaped (Y/N)'s lips at Akashi's attempt, finding his effort endearing. She/he/they reached out to take his hand, intertwining their/his/her fingers with his. "你今天过得怎么样("How's your day been?)" she asked, her eyes filled with genuine curiosity.

Akashi's lips quirked upwards in a subtle smile. "忙碌，一如既往。但见到你让它变得无比美好。(Busy, as always. But seeing you make it infinitely better,)" he replied, his voice carrying a hint of fondness as he spoke still in a broken accent.

(Y/N)'s heart swelled with affection at his words, feeling a rush of warmth spreading through them/her/him. Leaning in, she/he/they pressed a tender kiss to his cheek, feeling his warmth against her/his/their lips.

As (Y/N) recalled the little surprise she had prepared for Akashi, her smile widened. Holding out a small box adorned with a ribbon, she spoke in Chinese, her words soft but filled with warmth. "我给你带了一些东西，我不确定你是否喜欢吃甜食，但我做了蛋挞。希望你喜欢。(I brought you something. I'm not sure if you like sweets, but I made egg tarts. Hope you like them.)"

Akashi's eyes widened in pleasant surprise at her thoughtful gesture. Taking the box from her hands, he couldn't help but feel touched by her kindness. With a grateful smile, he responded in his slightly broken Mandarin, "谢谢你. (Thank you)"

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Midorima Shintarou: Shuutoku High School

Unlike AKashi, he doesn't speak Mandarin or Chinese so you had a rocky relationship together with him. He doesn't understand Mandarin and you don't understand Japanese. Neither of you two understands each other.

As a result, he would definitely buy a Japanese book for you to learn and he would also buy a Mandarin basic language book to learn how to speak Mandarin.

When he wants to speak with you, he would either use Google Translate or those translating apps that can translate your language immediately when they record your voice.

Forcing suggesting you use those apps too so he could understand what you are trying to say. He would make funny faces if the application gave funny results.

Also would try to learn how to speak Mandarin or Chinese with the correct tone because he doesn't want to end up saying something inappropriate or rude.

He would also teach you how to speak Japanese, especially Kanji. He would also teach you katakana, and hiragana, and teach you some Japanese grammar.

Not Surprisingly going to learn the Chinese zodiac signs (the signs throughout the year. Those dragons, tigers, monkeys, pigs, etc) and then lhe will learn about your Chinese zodiac sign.

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The sun streamed through the windows of the cosy café as (Y/N) sat nestled at a table, her/his/their focus split between her/his/their Japanese study materials and the warm aroma of her hazelnut latte. Suddenly, the subtle scrape of a chair drew her attention, and she glanced up to find her boyfriend, Midorima, standing before her. "嘿，亲爱的，你刚好来了(Hey darling, you just arrived in time)," she greeted in Mandarin, a soft smile gracing her lips.

Midorima, who used the translator, typed back the answer of your question after the translator gave the translation of what are you trying to say. "The café is near the school. Of course, I will arrive in time," the computer replied in Mandarin, his words carrying a hint of amusement beneath his reserved exterior.

(Y/N) nodded gratefully, mustering her/his/their courage to speak in Japanese despite her/his/their broken accent. "ここに来てくれてありがとう(Thank you for coming)," she/he/they said, her/his/their pronunciation a bit shaky. Midorima, secretly proud of your effort, nodded in acknowledgement, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "どういたしまして(You're welcome)," he replied in Japanese, his voice soft but supportive, appreciating your attempt to communicate in his native language.

(Y/N) suddenly switched to Chinese, asking Midorima if he wanted a hazelnut latte. "你要榛果拿铁吗？我可以帮你点, (Do you want a hazelnut latte? I can help you order.)" she/he/they said in Chinese, her/his/their tone kind and offering.

Midorima, not understanding Chinese, reached for his translator device and inputted (Y/N)'s Mandarin statement. After a moment, the device spoke in Japanese, translating her words for him. Understanding her offer, he nodded appreciatively. "はい、お願いします (Yes, please)," he replied in Japanese, his voice calm and composed as always.

Midorima, realizing that (Y/N) might not understand Japanese, decided to respond in Mandarin. "好的，谢谢你 (Okay, thank you)," he said in Chinese, expressing his gratitude for her offer. As (Y/N) headed to the counter to order Midorima's hazelnut latte, he took out his notebook and began to write down the basic katakana and hiragana characters. Carefully, he sketched each character.

Once he finished, he placed the notebook on the table, leaving it open for (Y/N) to see when she returned. With a faint smile, he resumed his posture, delving into his book as he waited for her to come back.

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Imayoshi Shouichi: Touou Academy High School

Since you don't understand Japanese but only speak Chinese, this is going to give him a chance to mess with you. Believe me, he would mess with you a lot.

I can see him understand a little bit of Chinese so he would teach you some Japanese words that actually have a bad meaning but he would say 'Oh, that means Thank you in Japanese'.

Once you actually found out, you could hear him snickering and you give him an unamused look. Now you have trust issues when he teaches you Japanese.

Sometimes when he speaks to you, he purposely slips in some Japanese words, especially the ones he did not teach you so you would be hella confused.

And if you don't understand, he would pretend to pout at you and says "Haven't I taught you that words? You don't understand?" This prick really gaslighted you and would laugh if you actually felt bad.

Despite all of the shit and giggles, he's not one hundred percent prick. He would be willing to teach you Japanese Literature if you don't understand Japanese and have Japanese Literature homework.

Also, if you did a great job and could start speaking in Japanese, he would actually give you some of your favourite snacks as a prize for your hard work.

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On an inviting Saturday afternoon, the café's cosy ambience enveloped Imayoshi and (Y/N) as they sat together, reading over Japanese textbooks. (Y/N), a new student from China, had just arrived in Japan and was eager to learn the language. She spoke barely a little Japanese, but her ambition to grasp it was evident.

As they pored over the pages of their Japanese textbook, (Y/N) paused, her/his/their finger tracing over a word she/he/they didn't recognize. "What does 'ocha' mean?" she/he/they asked, her/his/their voice tinged with curiosity.

Imayoshi, seizing the opportunity to playfully tease his girlfriend/boyfriend, couldn't resist a mischievous grin. "Ah, 'ocha'," he began, his tone deceptively serious. "That means coffee." (Y/N) furrowed her/his/their brow, a hint of scepticism in her/his/their expression. "Really?" she/he/they questioned, not entirely convinced by Imayoshi's answer.

Imayoshi nodded, his expression perfectly composed. "Yes, that's right. And 'kohi' means tea," he added confidently, his eyes twinkling with amusement as he purposely switched the meanings. (Y/N)'s confusion deepened as she processed Imayoshi's words. "But... isn't it the other way around?" she/he/they ventured, her/his/their uncertainty evident in your voice.

Imayoshi couldn't contain his laughter any longer, the mischief dancing in his eyes as he revealed the truth. "You caught me," he admitted, his grin widening. "I was just pulling your leg. 'Ocha' actually means tea, and 'kohi' means coffee." Relief washed over (Y/N) as she/he/they realized she/he/they hadn't been misled, a playful glint entered her eyes. "You're terrible," you scolded with a playful swat to his arm

Imayoshi's playful smirk widened at (Y/N)'s pout, thoroughly enjoying their banter. "哦，你知道这个意思了。这意味着你不再需要我了吗？("Oh, do you understand the meaning now? Does this mean you no longer need me?)" he teased in Mandarin, his tone light and teasing.

(Y/N) couldn't help but play along, her/his/their pout deepening as she pretended to be offended. "我需要你教我，别那么坏 (I need you to teach me, don't be so mean.)," she/he/they replied, her/his/their voice tinged with mock indignation.

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[fatuismooches]

hi :) i see your responses to my asks :) i see your reblogs :) i am absolutely not about to add sodium to the tea i am having rn :)

in all seriousness though oh my goodness smooches ;; i am glad i decided to take a little break from writing for now and be greeted with an influx of notifications alongside your responses to my asks and reblogs to the little thingies i published, just the perfect obliteration my heart needed to perfect my night <3

in response to your excitement about my kabuki series, ME TOO !! good god you don't know how over the damn moon i am just thinking about tomorrow like .. i should probably get a breather because this much excitement, while not new to me because i'm always excited, is about to annihilate my heart lmao

and now in response to your reblog of my fatui kuni drabble, yes. fucking yes. sorry excuse my language BUT. I GET IT. dearest when i tell you it's something i think about a lot — that drabble is actually what i wrote back when i was taking a walk near the seashore about i believe two weeks ago! but that aside, walks around snezhnaya with scara are like everything to me. like imagine him accompanying you to town or along the outskirts — very and i mean very attentively listens to you musings about everything and nothing because he doesn't have much to offer in comparison to what he wholeheartedly believes to be heaven in your eyes as you talk about very simple things ( i shall cut my rambling there because i have a whole series for fatui kuni that is primarily themed around that concept hehe ).

as for the 'nushi thesis...............

oops ~

no but this bitch had me on a chokehold for SO LONG, that i ended up writing not only lore but many, many other things as well from the small to the big deadass ended up being a presentation because i have arranged a design sheet and even chose a fucking theme for him. but king deserves it so (⁠~⁠￣⁠³⁠￣⁠)⁠~

there is so much i could say right now, so much i can express but bloody hell i like, can't because i have successfully melted into a puddle out of sheer joy :')

YOUR HCS FOR KABUKI BTW ARE SO SO REAL !! SPEAK YOUR TRUTH QUEEN !!

goodness .. dear smooches, dear mutual, dear fellow tea addict /lh lover, to say that your responses have made my night would be one of the biggest understatements i've ever made in life :') like omg i am thinking of a way i could respond to every little thing you mentioned in your responses to my asks and in your reblogs, but i think the bright smile painting my puffy face rn is more than indicative of how genuinely thankful and happy i am 🤍

thank you and incredible lot. i hope mundanities with kabukimono hits in all the right ways and you get to enjoy it as much as i enjoyed writing for it. i cannot wait to walk this journey with you and many others <3

— signed with much ( platonic ) love, ayame.

( don't tell kuni that i almost cried because tumblr ate the ask i previously sent you, please and thank you :') ).

the way i am actually about to cry because tumblr keeps having the ask i sent you just a minute ago as a meal............. i swear to god if this one gets sent unlike the other i am going to swallow a biscuit whole /j /nsrs

AYAME NOOOO IM SO SO SORRY TUMBLR CAN BE AN ASS LIKE THAT SOMETIMES 😭😭 But i am so glad to have received this ask from you omg, i love it sm ❤️ And you don't even need to thank me, I'm always happy to support and gush over your writing :)) I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND ABOUT BEING EXCITED TO POST there have been a bunch of times when i wanted to just post something at that instant instead of waiting (kabukimono series was an example when i literally posted back to back instead of spacing it out, i was SO READY 😭)

AND NGL YOU LITERALLY OPENED MY MIND TO SNEZHNAYAN WALKS WITH KUNI... i never thought about it before but. MWAH. i love the idea because i love walks and the cold especially if Kuni will be there to keep me warm hehe. Him being a silent listener is so so cute and real because you think he doesn't listen but then he brings up something random you said weeks ago and your heart just goes boom. (I propose to you now, you and Wanderer visiting Mondstadt/ Dragonspine and walking along the snowy path there too! Wanderer just has so much overflowing memories of the two of you doing the same thing in Snezhnaya, but you don't remember :( but at least he has a second chance with you to make new memories)

OH MY GOSH THE KURONUSHI STUFF EBWDBEWF bro. i so understand because when i saw him there i was excited beyond words. like FINALLY we were getting some Scara lore after like a year or something?? i also remember being sad that the furniture for the teapot wouldn't change to his picture :( but omg i love your dedication to him sm ITS SO SWEET I CAN'T WAIT TO READ MORE ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS ON KURO BC IM SO INTERESTED.

AGAIN IM REALLY GLAD MY SILLY RAMBLES MADE YOU SMILE!! *HUGS YOU* AND I TOO CANT WAIT TO EXPERIENCE YOUR KABUKI SERIES!! ILY TOO!! ❤️❤️

[moosemonstrous]

Not me idly wondering what are the jaegers made of, checking out the wiki and once again going mad with crumbs:

a) I reject Mark 1s being made out of iron bc that's just. Not a thing. This sentiment started the mess below.

b) Gottlieb's dad started The Jaeger Program! Tony Stark had a dad! It's all according to plan.

c) The PR lore is insane and I love it.

"I reject that thesis and raise you this," Stark spins his chair around to point his pen at Amadeus's face. "My suits are just that good."

Amadeus raises an eyebrow. "All the seals melted," he says. "We had to cut Robbie out of it. He should've cooked, even if the flame retardant held up. You know there's more to it, and if you backed me up--"

"Oh, there sure is more to it. More body horror I want nowhere near my lab." Stark shudders. "Let's just be glad he made it and leave it at that, huh?"

It takes every ounce of Amadeus's professionalism not to say 'nuh-huh'. He's already laid out his theory. As tempting as it is to go around in circles until he wears Stark down, they have other work to do. It's just--it's so bloody frustrating! He joined the jaeger program specifically to study demon biology and its influence to exposed humans, and he's been stuck mid-maxing the rangers' reaction times like some run of the mill engineer.

He's seen what happens to people who trade in demon remains without protective equipment. The initial increase in strength and agility gives way to organ failure as soon as the corruption reaches the bloodstream. The longest documented survival rate was less than seventy-two hours from exposure and judging by the case footage still replaying occasionally in Amadeus's nightmares, the poor woman wasn't holding scholarly conversations in the last twenty-four.

Now, the exposure must be physical - drifting with the lesser categories haven't shown to cause the same rapid tissue degradation. The beastie riders down in the Bone Slums reported occasional headaches and weird dreams, but it's impossible to verify without independent study, and, well. Then there's Robbie.

Robbie has never drifted, period, before the accident with The Charger. His sudden physical improvements could be easily explained away by access to regular meals and a brutal training regime, and he passed medical before even approaching a jaeger. There is nothing about him - nothing that Amadeus has found so far, at least - that differs from any of the other rangers, other than, oh, being able to drift solo with the most haunted piece of technology ever allowed into military use. And now, apparently, withstanding an over twelve hundred degrees Celcius firestorm.

The media nicknamed the demon Inferno - there wasn't time for anything more creative. The whole Cam Ranh Bay turned to glass, eleven thousand dead, two whole jaegers reduced to slag. The only reason there is any Vietnam left to mourn the losses is still cooling in the sea outside the Shatterdome. The Charger isn't made of anything special, it's the same steel alloys as all the other Mark-2s. When Inferno threw up it's fiery guts all over it, Amadeus started mentally composing a way to break the news to Gabe - like hell he was going to let Ivanov field that one - and he's still not entirely convinced he hasn't hit his head and imagined the way the black jaeger's chains flew out of the fire to wrap around the demon's neck.

It's still black, although no longer from paint. The techs are already busy scrubbing it down and replacing the fried electronics, because at least something got damaged to prove Robbie didn't just teleport his mech in and out of the battle. At this point, there is no discounting any possible scenario. Maybe if he ran a Pons simulation with the Icebox protocol...

Stark sighs. "Kid, let me give you some sage advice," he says. His tone is suddenly very serious - enough to get Amadeus's attention. "Do you know what the military does with weird shit they can't explain?"

"What are you--?"

"One of two things," Stark slaps a finger to his open palm. "Either they pretend everything is hunky-dory as long as the weird shit does what they want, or," he adds a second finger, "someone complains about the weird shit enough that they lock it up, out of sight. So they can speed-run their tests. Are you picking up? What I'm putting down, here?"

Amadeus swallows past the lump in his throat. "You own the Jaeger Program."

Stark rolls his eyes. "You're confusing me with my father again. Keep up." His expression softens somewhat. "Look, I don't like it either."

"Save it," Amadeus pulls on his coat. "I'm going out."

"Cho, don't be--"

"See you at the debrief."

[mellozheist]

three things.

a. i absolutely adore your work. everything is just so well done and your art style is fantastic. your art makes me flappy bird (hand flapping stim) and i thank you for that.

b. what art program do you use for art/animation?

c. what is your favorite thing you have drawn/animated? can i get a link to it (if it has been posted)?

a. Thank you so much <333 I'm glad you enjoy my art hehe

b. I use CSP aka Clip Studio Paint Ex ( still on version 1 )

c. My favorite artwork I have made recently gonna be The Blood on the clock Tower Fanart from Hermitcraft!

I may be seen as an animator I do enjoy taking time to render my work eventho I'm struggling to start the color (that's why there's not much of a finished color render piece lmao) but when I get the grip of it, I do enjoy the process a lot

It just take a looooooooong time to finish

On the animation side, I think My first tiny Littlewood animatic still sits strong and has a special place in my heart

Martyn also did a reaction to it and having his chat being excited for it made me beyond happy :)

I recorded and put it as an unlisted video to look back on and have a huge smile on my face hehe

I promised I'll be back to continue my #386littlewood challenge

I have just been really busy and have not got the feeling to start another one yet, Hope I'll be back soon

My Thesis film with my friend was great don't get me wrong, but I watched them to check stuff too many times, with lots of stress, It was bittersweet for me and I wish we'd had time and mind to make it better

but it is what it is, We have limited time and even it was stressed af

It's very much worth it, My team was the best, I'm really lucky to have worked with them and I'm glad ppl like the message we put in our film :D

[looniecartooni]

hello! i hope this isn't too weird but i'm a former winchester mystery house employee who checks the tag on a semi regular basis and i saw your post about the house not following traditional haunting rules and you are 100% correct!! among tour guides i don't think any of us believe the "she was trying to confuse spirits" or "a medium told her to build" narratives. popular theory among tour guides is literally just that she liked building (a pet theory of mine is that sarah may have been autistic and architecture was a special interest for her) and that there were likely no ghosts during her lifetime. the ghosts we're currently aware of are almost entirely former employees, and i expect in a hundred years or so those spirits will move on and the house will be full of ghostly tour guides.

this turned into a long ramble but basically you are totally right and i am SO glad to see someone who recognizes sarah as more than just "crazy ghost lady". i hope your essay went well :)

Hi!

OMG! An actual employee! My report was rushed and I didn't get enough to talk about the architecture, but I got an A. Captive of the Labyrinth by Mary Ignoffo (one of the few non-ghost centered sources I could find) does paint her as a bit of a "recluse" and "loner child" and there are a couple behaviors of hers that do feel like they could be Autistic (I speak as an Autistic myself trying to learn as much as they can about Autism for personal reasons). Mary also says that Lenard Pardee, Sarah's dad, worked in woodwork and had his own company and that during the height of Victorian architecture and design becoming like a worldly go-to style which may have influenced her as well. You might know more than I do on the matter- I can't find any records of his company and I currently don't have the book to investigate a source.

It would make a lot more sense ghost-logic-wise if Sarah herself or people that worked at the estate or frequently visited were the ghosts. Or if whoever owned the supposed original farmhouse that didn't pass on after Sarah started building would have done that.

I was watching a debunking video (one of those really lengthy ones) and I figured given how much everyone talks about the ghost stories in relation to Sarah while sleeping on the fact that this was a female philanthropist of the 19th-20th century trying her hand at architecture. It made for a good, original-ish Art History Senior thesis paper and I just wish I could have properly researched and wrote more about the art and architecture. There's way too much misinformation about her and ghosts.

Sorry- I'm rambling too lol. According to my research- she did just like building and really just wanted to make a really grand Victorian estate, taking bits and pieces of several movements or from county fairs and adapting parts of it to accommodate to her aging body. The 1906 earthquake also had a big impact on the "stairs that lead to nowhere". I'd say "grieving Autistic woman with special interest in building" is a lot more plausible than "ghosts murdered by rifle patented by husband's company has beef with wife or wants to help her build a house to prolong her life". I do believe in ghosts, but I really REALLY believe Sarah Winchester was done dirty by being associated with ghosts.

[sindar-princeling]

General 8, 12, Summarise 5, Media 2, Art 7, Posterity 5, Looking Forward 7, 8?

That's so many thank you!! 🥰🥰🥰

General:

8. What's a lifestyle or routine change you made this year?

Getting a job was a significant routine change, especially since I'm still studying. It's been a challenge, but one I'm glad I took on! Feels great to be able to spend money I actually earned you know. And I like my job :)

12. What achievement are you proudest of this year?

I'm very proud of the newsletter, and also of my slow, stubborn writing. And of writing my thesis and getting a diploma!

Summarise:

5. One (some other kind of art—game, sculpture, painting...)

The Sims. Bro I'm just walking around and doing my little tasks and that's what this year felt like akjshkdshkjf. (Also because I actually got the Sims this year and I love it so much, I haven't had time to play in a hot while but I want to get back to my sims)

Media:

2. What's something you RE-watched/read/played/listened to this year that you loved?

The newsletter was a great opportunity to - not exactly reread but revisit - LOTR, and I'm so glad 🥰 I missed it and I love that it's in my life so much again.

Also, I've been relistening to some TMA episodes because it'll never get old to me.

Also I rewatched Death Note! (I'm one of those people for whom this is the only anime they've ever watched ahskdsjkhfk)

Art:

7. What project did you work the hardest on this year?

That's a tie between the newsletter and my writing. I love them both and so I work long and hard on both ❤️

Posterity:

5. Where are you answering this ask from?

MY BED ❤️ it's been a super tiring and annoying day because i want it to be Christmas break already, but I'm under a duvet and two blankets right now and everything is good again

Looking forward:

7. What would you like to tell or ask your future self one year from now?

I hope that a year from now I'll have gotten my master's diploma! And that the newsletter will have gone smoothly and successfully. Also I hope I'll have a job I like, because actually I'll most probably have a new one by then.

8. Share a positive message for everyone reading this to take into the new year ^__^

I hope that no matter what 2023 is like, you'll have people by your side who'll make it better if things go bad - or even better if things go well. I hope you get to do something exciting, even if it's small. I hope you appreciate the good things that happen, the kind words from friends, the successes, the things you have no control over but nonetheless brighten your day, and you're glad they exist. I hope you give yourself lots of love, so much that it can't help but be felt by the people around you, too. I hope you get to do things you love, and be with people you love ❤️

[rairette]

Recent Art Dump

୨ the light within ୧

i made this for a performance task on arts, we had to make a self-portrait using ibis paint. since i didn't like the outcome of the tutorial our teacher showed us, i just tried to draw myself using my own artstyle and with a deeper meaning. during the creation of this piece, i was recovering from being in the lowest point of my life. i realized that there is still more to life than just hopelessness. even if you view life as something that makes you experience absolute depression, there is still a bit of light within you. if you keep on acknowledging that light, it'll slowly get bigger and you'll view life as something to be thankful for.

୨ connected ୧

i made this piece for me and the love of my life. we had a complicated relationship but we still tried to work it out. ever since we broke up, i had the motivation to draw the two of us. the love he gave me is still with me and i could never get rid of it. he made me feel special and i'm glad he's still keeping contact with me. i don't need to find the right person anymore because i already found him. now, i'll try to become the right person for him. this piece shows that we're intertwined. i know my feelings would disappear one day but i also know that it would come back once i see him again.

୨ ligaya (happiness) ୧

one song i dedicated for him was “ligaya” by eraserheads. the song expresses the person's extreme love for somebody. it shows how much they love them that they'll do anything, even their thesis, just for the sake of that loved one's happiness. i wanted to draw in traditional again and i wanted him to be the first thing i see when i open my new sketchbook so i drew this. i drew him wearing the jacket that he was wearing when i first laid my eyes on his ethereal physique and face. i drew stitch because i gifted him a purple stitch plushie on his birthday. i also drew a star clip and ring because i love giving him small gifts and i gave him those on random days. i put “#14” beside him because that was his player number when they played volleyball at our intramurals. (lyrics translation: and expect that i'll love you at noon, at evening, and at morning.)

୨ mabagal (slowly) ୧

i suddenly remembered that one time when we danced at prom. it was may 10, 8 days before my birthday. we danced to the slow songs playing. one song that stood out was “mabagal” by moira dela torre and daniel padilla. it was one of our favorite songs at that time. we can't stop smiling because that was our first time being very close to each other. the back of my neck hurt so bad because i kept on smiling lmao. yeah, it was prom, but i wasn't wearing anything fancy because they said we had to wear something casual (but they all came to school wearing large-ass gowns and elegant tuxedos, liars) so i was embarrassed to dance with him because i thought i looked ugly. he still wanted to dance with me because according to him, it didn't matter what i wore. i miss prom. (lyrics translation: i want to dance with you slowly. holding-hands, closed eyes, going along with the music.)

୨ peace ୧

after being miserable for days because i miss him (i still do), i found peace in God. i thought that being hopeless wouldn't help me become the right person for him so i pulled myself together and started praying. i've been an atheist for so long but i've been depressed for so long that i made the choice to come back to Jesus have faith on Him. i want to get better. i don't remember where i got this art idea, i think it was an artist on fb or ig.

That's All

i'll post more of my art after i finish them !! <3

⇄ ◀ 𓊕 ▶ ↻

[autumnonapoea]

I went to my very first Pride festival yesterday. I had an amazing time being with friends and around our people. I also kind of hated it

Hate is a strong word; wary, maybe?

A number of caveats: I’ve been out for two years, on HRT for just over a year, and my inexperience is probably pretty obvious. Also, I am certainly some degree of stupid. I’m a trans girl whose gender falls more into the spectrum of gremlin than anything else. The gaggle of trans folks I was rolling with are feral sewer kittens. I love us. And we are as far from the upwardly mobile cisgender gay men of Midtown as one could likely get in the LGBTQIAtl

My typical gay-as-fuck night out generally centers around Mary’s on a Tuesday night, sipping delicious and splendidly colorful mocktails on the back porch, making eyes at the other dolls and possibly making out with someone or several someones. Hey, I am pretty, give me a little credit. If Tranny Tuesdays are my norm, I can really only liken Pride to the Super Bowl of faggotry. And while I love wings (all flats for me please) and chips and dip, I do not enjoy the Super Bowl

The line to get into Mary’s was… well I think we can leave it at There Was A Line. The crowd inside was unfamiliar and enormous and the fact that I was incredibly stoned only made the feeling of overwhelm more potent. Standing on line I was very aware of the increased traffic through East Atlanta Village and I said to one of my friends that it felts like we were on display for straight people. Again, I was out of my head so it may have been my imagination but the passenger faces pressed against car windows making eye contact with me as they slid down Glenwood told me otherwise.

I saw no one I knew inside the bar and no one I knew on the back deck. I was surrounded by flashy beautiful clothes on gorgeous people with rainbows painted on their faces and adorned on their clothes and while I felt serene and high as shit in the moment, I did feel a little out of place in my ratty army jacket covered in metal patches. So after a short while, my friends and I went back to where we started—the deck behind the pizza place next door. THAT felt familiar and safe and fun. We drank and smoked and talked shit and made out and wrestled and cuddled and a few folks got off on consensually putting out cigarettes on each others’ arms.

Atlanta Pride was good, it was an amazing sight, and I felt—in an enormous crowd of queer folks of all stripes—lifted up. But the pageantry and spectacle of the weekend wore on me, from the rows of corporate booths with rainbow tchotchkes trying to hawk bank accounts and cruise lines to the booming music pumping from multiple stages. I know I am saying nothing remotely new here, but Pride™️ felt more for Them than for Us.

I am aware that my goblin ass queerness thrives in dark corners and filthy parking lots. That no one is in any hurry to put glossies of me and the swamp creatures I love on any kind of brochure. And one back porch, another one right next to it? I don’t really care as long as I’m with my friends. And while “pageantry and spectacle” may be part of many gay experiences, the enormous specter of trans persecution that has spread over these last few years makes me wish my greasy weirdo bullshit could just be, if not normal, then left alone. I’m glad everyone loves the party but that six-by-twelve patio is where I go for my oddness to blend with my fellow trans girls’ oddness and effectively disappear for an evening at a time. And it does not belong to me anymore than anyone else. And I’m being contradictory and cranky. And I have little to no thesis here. And I had a great time at Pride. And I’m a little wary of it at the same time.

[purplebass]

okay. the ideas are rolling like a tidal wave, but i am going to need to know some things about you in order to proceed. anything that might be relevant, the order you tell it in will be (to the best of my ability) the order at which it is revealed in the fic. and of course, grounding ourselves in purpose here: you can know the ending. you go home at the end. and also? if there is anything you want to tell the characters desperately, i will eat that up and then poop it out like a seed whole into my fic and ready to grow into flowers. so feed it to me pls. cause otherwise i feel like i'm going to make a bunch of inaccurate guesses and it's not gonna feel like it's supposed to. and as always, you can back out of this at any time, and i will destroy all evidence (honours thesis veteran here, ethics approval survivor). hope ur doing okay <3

Oh, this means you're planning the story!! I'm excited <3

I'm doing mmmh because of real life happenings but overall I'm okay.

What can I say, the first thing that comes to my mind is that I am a loner and I tend to keep to myself most of the time. I think a lot and psychoanalyze different things/people and come to creative conclusions when it comes to solving problems. I am more rational than emotional (I haven't cried for years after my mom died) and I mostly show my feelings through my actions (one time I wanted to give my bff a special gift for her bday, so I made a painting of her beloved cat). I crave the company of people who make me feel like I can be myself with them, and with whom I can joke (I am a clown but only few people see this side of me), but that will also listen to me and won't mock my interests (like this bff I mentioned above. Too bad she moved to Germany a few years ago so we can only meet once a year). For this reason, I don't have many friends. I don't trust people easily, I don't share my feelings easily, I tend to accomodate others a lot -that's why I mostly like to be by myself (I loved being with my bff and she helped me be more social because I am a homebody. When she left, it felt like a limb was cut from my body, even tho I know she just went to another country to have a better life). I'm not super self-confident but I know I should believe in myself more because there is a world in my brain that begs to come out in a creative form. I'm creative and I use my hands to create stuff. Not only writing. I used to draw (mostly fictional characters and clothes and spaceships! lol) and I created board games too.

I don't know if there is more to say about me but these are the first things that came to my mind.

Something I want to say to the characters... I would definitely want to tell Alastair and Matthew that I'm proud of them. They had difficult journeys and I'm glad they found new stability in their lives even though the road to healing is still long. I would tell Jesse that he can talk to Lucie or even to James (I think he would understand him) about issues he still hasn't faced yet and that are heavy on his heart (like killing while possessed or not being able to stop Tati from hurting Grace). I would also tell Grace that she can still count on her brother who never stopped loving her. And that he and Kit believe she can pursue her dreams and she can become someone great in their world. That it will take years to heal but she can do it, I believe in her.

I hope this is enough! <3

[darkened-writer]

You’ve Got Mail

Prompt: “How many love letters have you written for me, just to keep them to yourself?”

Summary: Steven Grant had made friends with a neighbor of his whom has a major crush on him, so, the reader writes love letters to him and keeps them in a box, away, for safe keeping. Until, one day, while he is over at her flat, he finds the letter and a conversation ensues.

Pairings: Steven Grant x Reader (No Marc since this would be before the canonical events.)

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1146

A/N: This is for @beautifulbows924 ‘s writing challenge! I’m so glad I was thought of when this challenge was made, and I hope you enjoy!

Falling in love was a fleeting feeling that many people get to feel in their lives, I unfortunately get to feel it for my only friend, Steven Grant.

He was an awkward mess with bags under his eyes and a knack for Egyptian history, and when we met, He couldn’t stop talking about the book I was holding. ‘Egyptian History for Nerds’, and let’s just say, he was excited.

This striked up many instances of him knocking on my door, to even share just one tid-bit of random facts to me which he deemed, ‘Positively Ace’. Until, I told him that we could text, which started midnight conversations about Egypt, and sometimes his job and his boss, Donna. 

What I didn’t expect was for him to start inviting me out to eat with a statue, who looked like a man covered in paint just trying to make a pound or two, but I didn’t want to diminish his imagination, so I played along with it, leaving five pounds in his hat every time.

These lunch hangouts turned into hanging in each other's flats and eventually sleepovers, which in his words, he apparently had never experienced. So, of course, I invited him to stay overnight to watch ‘The Mummy’, and laugh at how ridiculous it was.

This random, insomnia-stricken man was now an important part of my day. Whether we hung out, called, texted each other, or left notes on each other’s door, he was starting to become more than a friend in my heart. The feelings were getting out of hand to the point that my heart would beat out of my chest when I’d see his contact pop up on my phone.

How was a woman supposed to manage those feelings? The raw need to hold someone, caress someone, kiss… someone. The poetic thesis of books like Pride and Prejudice had not underestimated the pure and raw need to have someone, he had bewitched me. So, I picked up stray papers, and began to put all my feelings down on paper. Love letters to a man I could not tell my love to, for it would ruin a friendship so wholesome and sweet. Do I value our friendship, or a possible love far sweeter?

For five months, I continually wrote about my feeling of love towards Steven, though it never went away, it had at least helped me keep it under wraps from confessing it to him. Though, many people could probably see my eyes filled with desire as I looked at him. I could portray my desire with longing looks but no words.

Eventually, Steven wanted to come over with some Egyptian movies he had found on DVD, saying that he missed the homely-ness of my flat, which if I hadn’t been restricting my feelings, that sentence alone would have tugged hard at my heartstrings. But, I put all of my letters that were in envelopes addressed to him into a stray shoebox and shoved it under my couch, out of sight from him and I answered the door, letting him in, his face graced with a wide smile and he held a hefty stack of DVDs.

“Found some good ones, not all as funny as ‘The Mummy’, but they should do for a sleepover, right Love?”

I nod as he whisks past me, dropping the DVDs onto my coffee table with a grin. 

“Say… you still got any of those biscuits I bought you still? The ones shaped like scarabs?”

With a laugh, I nod once again, “You want them?”

“With some tea please?”

“Sure, sure… whatever-...”

Making my way to my frankly small kitchen, I opened a cabinet with my tea, grabbing Steven’s favorite and setting it aside while I got my kettle to fill with water. I turned my stove top on and set the kettle on top, grabbing his hieroglyph mug and setting the tea bag gently inside.

“How’s the museum been with Donna? Is she still bugging you about you coming in late? I swear, one day I’ll have to come in and defend you. Bosses have to be lenient with their worker and hours because they may just work them to death..-”

THWAT

The package of biscuits dropped to the hardwood flooring, my eyes blown wide at the sight before me. Steven was sitting with MY shoebox in his lap, a torn envelope next to him and an unfolded paper in his hands.

“I…I…I can explain, Steven,..I..-”

“His gaze is enough to ease a horrible day, a warmth that I have come to appreciate. Yet, I so ardently wish to experience the warmth for eternity, whether he chooses to love me as more than a friend, or not. He will always have my love and my heart, and my very soul…”

“Steven…”

“I’ve loved him for these past five months; his presence is as sweet as honey in tea. Addictive and yet I know that I cannot lose his friendship. The sweetness of this friendship is worth every moment of not being able to kiss him. Not being able to ease his discomfort in his insomnia. Not being able to be his sweetness. I just want him to see the desire in my eyes.”

“...”

He set the letter back in the box almost as gently as possible, as I kept my gaze toward the ground, too scared to look him in the eyes. 

“Love…?”

He set his pace toward me as slow, trying to ease me from the anxiety and pure horrific knowledge that he now knows. He knows my love, my desire, my secret.

“How many love letters have you written for me, just to keep them to yourself?”

His hand caressed up my bare arm, touching each section of skin with delicate attention, my hairs standing on end at the soft touch.

“I’ve… written many.. It’s hard to keep track.”

His hand curved up my jaw-line, pulling my head upwards until our eyes met.

Desire.

His fingers threaded through my hair and finally, finally, our lips met.

A crescendo of feeling erupted up my throat, seemingly ignoring the inexperience of his kiss as he pulled me closer, warmth, sweetness, and desire. 

We pulled back with a gasp of air, a giggle resting on my tongue as I couldn’t help but let out a laugh and a grin.

His nose bumped mine as he leaned our heads together, a wide smile on his face also. 

“I don’t know about you… but I think you should check on the boiling water..-”

“OH CRAP!”

He laughed, a full hearty and meaningful laugh as he watched me stumble to get the water away from the stovetop.

“While you do that, I’m going to continue reading these poetic letters..-”

“NO-NO-”

And, even after months and months of knowing each other, those letters would be the foundation of our whole relationship.

[likeastarstar]

Bright Things- Hoseok

(A/N: A little bit of a longer form of content with my one true love Hoseok to switch things up. Listen to Whisper by Park Ji-Woo while you read for the full effect. Feedback is appreciated.)

masterlist.

It was a big night for you.

Your final thesis project, the collection of art you had been working on the entirety of your senior year in grad school was finally out there for people to see. Hung up in a well lit art studio surrounded by your peers' art felt right- like a shiny red bow on the end of your schooling.

You had no idea what came next, there were a couple options on the table as far as a job went, but you were determined to soak in this moment. Your parents had already visited and gone home for the night, your professors had given their feedback and made their rounds around the exhibition- now all that was left was for you to do the same.

By the time you were back to yours, there was a good number of people admiring your art. One person in particular seemed stuck on what you'd say was your very favorite piece.

Bright, colorful, and loud- the piece had given you the most grief out of all of them. It had a deep meaning, not one you cared to share with others. You were a little notorious for having deceptively psychedelic art. While it seemed bright and sunny to others, the ultimate message was about being lonely.

Which you were; Lonely.

You stood by the man tilting his head to one side, dressed in all black with a long coat thrown over his shoulders. He was pretty incognito, a hat pulled low on his head. He shifted his gaze towards you briefly, turning back towards the large painting, "It's so sad."

"What? The painting?" You laughed, "How? It's as if a rainbow threw up on it."

He hummed, shrugging slightly, "Bright things can be sad, too."

You looked at him closer, admiring the straight bridge of his nose and his slightly wide set eyes. He was handsome, his lips were almost heart shaped as he sent a small smile your way.

"Sorry, I guess that's wrong, huh? I'm not an artist, clearly. I'm a dance major but I have a friend in the sculpture program." He laughed, "I seem to have lost him, though."

That's when it dawned on you that you did indeed know this man- Jung Hoseok. He was a bit notorious around your school for a couple different reasons. You should've known it was him instantly, all anyone ever talked about was how perfect he looked.

"That's okay. I'll keep you company," You said quietly, sending him a small smile, "I've always been curious about you anyway."

"Me? You know me?" He said, caught off guard.

You smirked and shrugged, feeling particularly bold, "I know of you. About the way you dance...among other things. I think there was a story about a very expensive art piece and a pool involved?

It was his turn to smirk, melting slightly where he stood. Talking to him was like dancing in itself, a balancing act with the power between the two of you shifting constantly, "That just happens to be the worst rumor about me out there, great. So if you've heard everything about me, why bother humoring me now? What's there left to be curious about?"

You sighed, looking around the room vaguely, "You looked at a rainbow and called it sad. Call it boredom, maybe I just want to see if the rumors are true, or it might be genuine intrigue. Wanna stick around to find out?"

He looked slightly surprised but nodded eagerly, letting you lead him around your other pieces.

"What do you think about this one?" You asked simply, neglecting to mention that you were the creator.

So the two of you went on that way, exchanging thoughts and comments on art around you. At some point you flittered closer to him and he responded by offering an arm, letting you slip yours through his comfortably. You didn't even tell him your name, nervous that whatever spell you two were under would break.

"Okay, this one is my favorite," He decided, staring at what could only be described as your most erotic piece. You made it after you dumped your ex-boyfriend, using it as an alternative to texting him to hook up one night. The image wasn't really about him, no, it was about you. About your tendency to mistake physical chemistry for intellectual. You had printed your body on a giant canvas, super layering strokes of paint and textured medium to cover the most important parts that would clue anyone into the fact that it's your literal naked form.

"Whoever that is, she's hot." he mumbled, making you stifle a smile.

"Oh, hey! Hoseok, I've been looking for you!"

You raised your eyebrows as the boy who's arm you were borrowing, watching him light up in recognition.

"This is the friend I mentioned, Taehyung this is..." Hoseok smiled, gesturing between you and his friend, "I've just realized I haven't even asked for your name."

You smile and told him, watching his eyes widen dramatically and whirl towards the art piece in front of him, zeroing in on the small plaque next to it with your name printed on it. You laughed, admiring the way all of his thoughts could be read so clearly on his face.

"Wow, you make amazing art," His friend, Taehyung, commented, reaching out a hand for you to shake. You slid yours out from where it was wrapped Hoseok's arm and took it, bowing slightly in thanks. "Unfortunately, we have to get going pretty soon if we're going to meet up with the others, Hoseok."

He looked stuck between you, still reeling from realizing who he had been talking to all night. You felt a little bad, in all honesty. Maybe you should've clued him in sooner.

"Oh, that's alright. Thanks for keeping me company, I'm glad you two enjoyed the art." You said quietly, ready to walk away from the two of them.

You didn't get far, Hoseok catching you by the elbow and standing in front of you with a wide look in his eye, "Wait, what you said earlier, about being curious. I know you probably already have an opinion about me but, I-I'd like to see you again. Can I see you again?"

You smiled easily, wanting to say yes really badly. But you knew him, he didn't date. If he wanted to see you again, he'd have to prove it.

"Ask me out when you know my worst rumor too," You said quickly, taking a couple steps backwards, "You're right by the way- about bright things."

You walked away hoping you hadn't just made a huge mistake, also that he realized that your phone number was on the business cards you had left at the front of the exhibit.

Thankfully, he didn't make you wait too long and called two days later with the first of a long list of potential rumors he'd work his way through to date you.

[izloveshorses]

What was the short film that you made about?

Also please please please more stained glass-style dimya art

i'm so glad you asked!!

i haven't like explicitly talked about it on here , but this past year for my final year of undergrad, i tackled an animated short film for my thesis illustration project. my friend was a coms major and was interested in sound design, so for her project she did that while i did......... all the rest alshdjfk (storyboards, character and prop design, animation). i did hire some other illustration majors to help by painting some backgrounds for me and they were gorgeous. and we got a comp prof to prepare a score for us, which is cool! but it turns out 9 months and One stressed girlie teaching herself how to animate 5 minutes worth of drawings was a bit ambitious, which is fine, so it's still more at the animatic stage i guess. getting to present it in both a gallery and a movie theater setting was one of the coolest moments of my life so far.

but anyway aslhjkdf it's about a baby bear who is new to the neighborhood, but struggles to make friends at the playground bc he's bigger and scarier than the other baby animals :( here's the video if you'd like to watch :)

if you don't feel like watching the full thing, here is one of my favorite shots

and here's the final poster

i've gotten the copywright application (so don't steal it 😤) and i'm hoping to one day get it even more finished, but we needed a big rest after all of.. that.

as for the stained glass/art nouveau look, thank you! i'm glad you liked that piece, it turned out pretty well. if you have any ideas for what else i should do in that style (specific moments, etc) i'm always down for suggestions 👀

[my-writings-and-musings]

Could you do TFP bots (or just a few of them if you have charcater limit or just don't feel like doing them all, as long as Wheeljack is ingluded I'm good) with a human they just recued and they're like "I'm gonna call my dad hold on" and if they protest they're like "nah you'll like him I promise, just give him a minute" and her dads their old bot friend who went MIA (you can decide who the dad is, or go with Ironhide if you're as indeciceve as me lol)

I miiiiight just have to do this as a short story I hope that's okay! Got my Wrecker boys Wheeljack, Bulkhead, Smokescreen and Ultra Magnus.

Dust was still settling as you realized the threat was over, the collection of vehicons having scattered long before the cave had finished it's partial collapse and leaving you under the gathered team of bots who'd come together to shield you from falling debris. Rubbing off the powdered rocks covering your face, as well as coughing up the taste of dirt, you took a moment to gather yourself as your new giant allies did the same. It wasn't worth thinking about what would have happened if they hadn't come along when they had... In your defense, that ambush had come out of nowhere.

"You okay there?" A deep voice above you rumbled with concern, encouraging you to tilt your head upwards at the big green bot looking down at you. His optics were friendly, and despite his absolutely massive size and hands that transformed into wrecking balls, you immediately trusted him.

"Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks to you guys." You said gratefully, looking to each of the gathered team as they brushed the dust off themselves.

"Protecting organic life is the primary responsibility of Autobots, think nothing of it." The largest of them said, somewhat gruff as he meticulously picked off the worst of the rubble that had showered down upon them. Immediately, you knew he was the one in charge. Towering above the others and with shoulder pauldrons thicker than two of you, he gave off the energy of someone who took no nonsense and had the firepower to back up his authority, yet his gaze was mostly just annoyed as he looked down to you again. "Our second responsibility, however, is remaining hidden from the denizens of this planet. Saving you required us to break cover."

"Give the kid a break, sir. They managed to escape a whole squadron by themselves before running into us. I think we can cut them some slack." A far gruffer voice said, cutting in as the battle scarred mech in question took a protective step your way. Quite immediately the colors on his unique build were familiar to you, but you decided to stay quiet on that fact, reaching for the cellphone thankfully still secure in your pocket. While you hadn't found what you'd been looking for in this mine, at least you had something far more interesting to report.

The big blue bot looked to the other with an impressive frown, unintentionally cementing your thesis as to the scarred mech's identity. The back and forth continued more or less without an acknowledgement of your presence. "They've been seen in our company, Wheeljack. By the procedure Optimus established, we must now secure their wellbeing, and that will be quite the undertaking."

The only one who had not yet spoken, a smaller but solidly built blue bot who seemed the youngest of the group, chose that moment to jump in with a quip. "Doubt docbot will be too happy about another human in the bunker."

"He's all talk. Ratchet wants these little guys as safe as the big guy does, he won't put up a fight." The gruff one, who you were starting to like more by the moment, said with an amused but reassuring smile in your direction. Unable to help smiling back, you suddenly felt that this turn of events might have been more than you could have ever hoped for. If only you could get a word in edgewise...

"You're purposefully missing the point, soldier. We-"

"If it's gonna be such a hassle for you, I'll take 'em myself."

"Jackie..." Once more, the gentle green giant spoke up, looking quite concerned at his friend's purposeful egging on of the bot in charge. You got the sense that this kind of thing happened often by his tone, but personally, you were getting a little tired of being ignored. None of what they were discussing was necessary, and if anyone would have bothered to ask you they'd know that? Finally fed up, you took a breath and raised your arms to draw attention to your tiny self.

"Um, hello? Excuse me!" You shouted, mercifully ending the bickering and securing four pairs of optics on yourself. Relieved for the silence, you pulled out your phone and held it up, projecting your voice to ensure you were heard. The shocked expressions didn't cease when you started to explain, but you didn't let that stop you. Sorting this out would make everything easier for everyone. "I think there's a bit more going on than any of you know. Let me call my dad really quick, he'll set this straight."

The first to reply was the one you knew had to be the rookie of the group, who awkwardly cleared his vents and broke the silence only hesitantly. "Uh, bringing more humans into this really isn't our goal-"

"Who said anything about him being human?" You cut in, grinning from ear to ear at the looks they all gave you. Now that you had their unbroken attention, it was only a matter of summoning your dad and waiting for him to arrive. Dialing his frequency into your phone, you prepared to share just as much information as it took to get him here fastest, wanting to see the look on his face when he arrived and saw who you'd found. This was going to be fun...

----------------------------------------------------

The roar of a familiar engine had thankfully silenced the second round of bickering to break out amongst the two argumentative bots, who had gone back and forth between listening to you and calling for their superior. It had been entertaining at first, but by the time that roar had echoed down the tunnel you'd been relieved to hear it, and had hopped to your feet from your seat on a convenient rock. The bots had reflexively drawn their weapons, but there hadn't even been any need for you to stop them. A worn red paint job skidding around the corner had made them all hold fire.

In a rush, you'd run out to greet the massive off road vehicle just as it began to transform, and in moments had been embracing the offered hand of a hulking bot who kneeled before you with an expression of happy relief.

"Ironhide!"

"Wheeljack!" Your adopted dad cried out in absolute joy, letting you move safely to the side before approaching the bot who's identity you'd properly guessed. Ironhide had told you so many stories about the Wrecker, it made sense that you'd been able to tell who he was by appearance and mannerisms despite having never met. The two bots greeted one another with an earth trembling chest bump, after which your beaming father turned to the green bot with just as much enthusiasm, shaking hands and crashing their fists together with overwhelming power. "Bulkhead too? Where have you guys been?"

"We might ask you the same thing, soldier." The big blue bot said, cutting in with the same serious look that appeared to be his only expression. On a closer inspection, however, you could see a certain light in his optics. He wasn't altogether displeased to see a new arrival. Standing somewhat awkwardly to the side, the young blue bot appeared delighted if not quite confused.

"Uh, long story, Ultra Magnus sir. I've been on this planet for some time. Found this little troublemaker when they were half their current size, and I've been raising 'em to help with our cause." Ironhide said affectionately, stepping back and dropping to one knee to be more on your level. Before you could puff up proudly at the praise, a single digit tussled your hair as he often did to tease, and you sputtered before playfully pushing him away and undoing the damage. Chuckling, he turned back to his comrades. "Never figured I'd bump into you all here! Jackie, Bulk, and uh..."

The attention turned to the young bot, who only smiled with a wave and a not offended clarification on his name.

"Smokescreen."

Wheeljack gave your dad a playful punch, still buzzing at seeing his old friend alive. The friendship you'd so frequently heard about was clear as day before you. "Glad to see you in one piece, old Rusthide."

"We've been here for years, Ironhide. How come we didn't detect you?" Bulkhead said, looking just as happy but burdened by the question at hand. Ironhide tapped his audial with a somewhat glum smile.

"Communicator's been busted for ages, all I've got is an earth link for cellphones." He said, recalling an injury he'd endured long before meeting you. The line he'd built relied on earth technology, and you still remembered how many tries it had taken to get it right. It was impossible to imagine a whole other team of beings like himself had been out there the whole time... Yet he didn't look at all regretful as he glanced down at you. "If I'd known I wasn't alone, I would have introduced myself and the kid ages ago. Looks like we've got my little one to thank for bringing us together."

You pouted and crossed your arms at the comment. "I'm not little anymore, dad."

"They did alright in a scrap, but how about we get you two back to base? I'm sure the other's will want to hear the story." Wheeljack said, easing your damaged pride with the compliment. You had indeed evaded those Vehicons for a good long while before being rescued... speaking of which, you could use a bit of rest somewhere secure.

Once more, Ultra Magnus stepped in to halt the festivities. "First; I shall communicate with Optimus and let him know what has transpired. He will likely want to meet you in person before we make any rash decisions."

"Seriously? Come on, Mags! Let's get this bot in an actual base!" Wheeljack replied in a huff, bringing back the arguing from before as if it had never stopped. Looking quite amused, Ironhide merely chuckled and offered you his hand, allowing you to get a lift onto his shoulders as was your custom. Clearly not phased by what he was seeing, the only parent you'd ever known let you get comfortable before following the group out of the partially collapsed cave. Who could have thought your simple little scouting mission would end like this?

"Come on kiddo." He said softly, watching the bickering with an expression of nostalgia. "I have a feeling things are about to get pretty interesting."

[touchmycoat]

on Promising Young Woman

i was hesitant to watch bc i knew a spoiler, but @trixree convinced me to watch it and i’m very glad i did. all things aside, it’s just damn well-written—pacing’s top-notch, every act shift was action-driven with a female lead, and it balanced the pleasure of a revenge fantasy against the soul of the story SO well.

thoughts & spoilers below

elephant in the room: yeah I hesitated to watch the movie because I know Cassie gets murdered in the end. After watching the scenes that followed, I...have a better understanding of why that was the choice. I still hated that it happened, period. I literally said “fuck you” out loud to the morning after shot, with the sunlight pouring down on her in the white outfit and she had her arms outstretched—yes, she’s a martyr, yes, she’s the “morning angel,” but fuck that, I didn’t need her to be a martyr. I so desperately wanted the movie to give her more than that.

Like Jenna and Wesley said, it was a superhero movie. That lasted until the choice to kill her.

Thoughts on why they did it: for the ironic morning after, where the audience sees not-Zac Efron sob and whine about how he’s going to lose his marriage and family and job after he just knowingly murdered a woman. Where we get to see Schmidt (fnjdnfjdnf what a casting choice, i lost my mind) say the words to Al Monroe that women like Nina needed to hear—it’s not your fault. None of it was your fault. We get to see the violent and continuous forgiveness of men that dead girls have and continue to pay for.

But my question is, what part of the movie managed to give the audience comfort that legal authority is the solution to this problem? The ending felt squeaky clean wrapped-up, yes, but the anxiety that ran deepest for me throughout this entire film was the fact that Cassie was leaving these men alive. All the men she’s found in the clubs, the man whose car she smashed, the entire law firm that specializes in burying rape cases—to me, every man she left alive was one more factor that could come back and bite her. That was my concern, and it was by no means alleviated by the scene with Bo Burnham and the detective right before the wedding.

I guess that circles back to the question of what the film is trying to be, though. It’s a different take on a revenge thriller. It isn’t meant to deliver a smash-burn-kill catharsis. Rather, it operates on a realer level. Which I love, actually! When she told the fedora guy that she’s not the only one who does it, it felt like a very enticing call-to-action lmao, and like a moment that ought to haunt the “good guys” that watch this film. The movie did so well to manifest and deliver the “enough is fucking enough” attitude that everybody ought to have about sexual assault under the influence.

More on why they killed Cassie: to really lean into the specter of Nina who has so haunted the entire narrative. Even handcuffed to the bed, Al Monroe never said the word “rape.” Nobody wants to, they keep skirting around it and refusing to acknowledge it for what it is. That’s why the movie does it for us, the audience. Instead of saying it, the movie gives its thesis on what rape actually is—a murder. A squeezing-out of a woman’s existence. Al Monroe rapes and kills Nina Fisher before the start of the movie, and the movie ends with Al Monroe killing Cassie. It ends with the violent burning of Cassie’s body, and fucking Schmidt kicking her hand with the childishly painted nails back into the bonfire. The parallel destruction of women is evident.

Did the ending feel like enough of a resurrection?

On a fandom level, I am happy to do the work of seeing the Romance in it. Cassie evidently anticipated her own death, perhaps even sought it—it’s easy to picture a fic focused on Cassie’s thoughts pre-bachelor party, where she’s just so happy to finally be joining Nina again. Where she gets to sign a text Love, Cassie & Nina. I fucking adore how much of an agent she was in the action throughout the entire movie, and the ending definitely did some work in resurrecting that agency.

On a real life level though, I’m so, so fucking sad she essentially had to commit suicide to get the justice she sought. She really is a martyr, but no part of the story indicated she was happy to be. There’s no relief in what she chose—it was simply what had to be done, because nobody else would do a goddamn thing.

Oh boy, the movie did so well to play Ryan as a good guy up until the very end. When time came for him to own up to his mistakes, he flipped like a fucking dime. Suck it #NotAllMen.

The evocations of childhood were interesting. We have the notebook, the scrunchie, the pink bedroom, the childhood photos, the juice box, the friendship necklaces, the painted nails. What is that doing?

- It’s a visual touch point for the arc words “we were just kids!” used as a protestation by rapists and assaulters to excuse their actions. Men get to be “kids” who made mistakes, women get repeated insistence that their actions have consequences, that they shouldn’t have gotten that drunk.

- It signifies Cassie’s vulnerability, her childhood best friend that she’s never been able to move on from. Functionally, I thought it was a brilliant way of grounding how tender the center of her story is, that she’s actually operating from a very simplistic point of pain and loss, considering how cool and violent she gets to be throughout most of the movie.

- It becomes a symbol for destroyed innocence when it’s the last bit of Cassie we see before her body’s burned. The movie re-positioned the meaning of this word “innocence,” I think. It’s not about women being ruined after rape, it’s about these women being people. Cassie’s last monologue about Nina does so much work to hammer that home—Nina’s value was never about innocence before or after her assault, it was never diminished. She was loved because of who she was as a person, but Al Monroe squeezed the life out of her anyways. Childhood and innocence become about the happiness that existed before men attacked, and the men get to symbolically destroy it one more time with a kick into the pyre. But then comes the resurrection, and in a way, the movie returns Cassie to that happiness with the last texts she got to sign with her best friend and a winky face.

The penitent lawyer was a hell of a narrative choice. I did accept it, and I like it mainly for what it showed of Cassie—that she is capable of forgiveness. By putting the scene with Nina’s mother right after, it transitions Cassie into a spot of hope pretty damn effectively. I also like that it didn’t take Cassie’s emotional labor to get the lawyer to that place, and that he was already self-flagellating (the dead plants behind Cassie in that apartment were a great touch) before she got there. I like the possibility that Cassie could have forgiven herself for not being there for Nina.

That’s why I’m so damn mad she’s dead!!!! She recognized how destructive her pattern of behavior is, and put an effort to stop that for herself and for her relationship with people she cares about. Yeah, Ryan proved an asshole, but it wasn’t even about him!! She laid it clean out for that guy!! No forgiveness. He was not an innocent bystander. He does not get to get away with anything, and all the ways he chose to behave after the fact just further proves it!

Cassie was stunning, and dangerous, and incredible. Narratively, she really could have gotten away with it. I don’t want to buy this finale, that it takes the destruction of another woman to bring justice to the first. I don’t care how neatly framed it was, that was not a happy ending.