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theyscreamjade · 4 years ago

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But You’re Mine

Alright, Peeps! I'm going to do it, I'm gonna write Deku smut, Please go easy on me! I tried my best! I think I’ve done something...and I’m rethinking my shipping choices.

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"Hey, baby!" You said happily while he stayed focused on his papers. Izuku stared closely at the large pile of papers on his desk while trying to comprehend a villains' motives to target a playground. A bunch of kids was nearly killed by his actions and he couldn't why a shark-looking guy would even want to be there. You tapped his shoulder, making Izuku jump as a sudden reaction.

"Hey? Is everything okay?" You asked as Izuku shook his head. "It's okay, Baby. What's up?" He asked. He wasn't expecting your presence since you usually waited for him back in the apartment you two shared, It wasn't unusual to see you. It was just a random occurrence. "I was hoping you'd accompany me to lunch? My treat!" You offered with a smile as Izuku frowned a bit. "Oh, I'd love to baby but I'm wrapped up with this. Maybe next time?" He asked while a frown formed on your face. This wasn't the first time he's rejected a meal with you but it was starting to get old. "You said that last time.." You whined a bit as he stood up, placing his hand on your cheek.

"I promise, We'll have a wonderful meal together. Just you and me, no work or anything." He coaxed while you smiled softly, feeling his touch. "Just let me make this a safer place for us." He whispered, leaning close to you as he rubbed his nose against yours. You giggled softly, closing your eyes while his lips touched your forehead softly. Soon after, you exited the office and headed towards the doors. "Hello Y/N," Shoto said, catching your attention as he stopped walking. "Shoto! How are you?" You asked, smiling.

"I'm fine, yourself?" He asked, giving you a soft smile. "I'm good, I was going to grab something to eat. I asked Deku he said he's busy at the moment," you explained as Shoto nodded. "I was going to talk to him since he's busy. I'll wait to speak to him." He said before you gasped softly. "Why don't you join me? I found a yummy spot. They have the best food ever! I hear they have yummy soba that they can make cold for you." You offered. Shoto couldn't deny the hunger he had, even hearing about the soba made his stomach growl loudly. You laughed softly and grabbed his hand, pulling him out of the headquarters while you two headed to the restaurant.

Who knew Shoto could make such great company? Once you two ate, he offered to pay but you pre-paid when you walked in. So, as a sign of thank you, he took you to the mall that was next door. Once inside, he offered to buy whatever you wanted. This took a while because you are such a sweet being and didn't want to blow his bank account. At first, you offered that he buys you a teddy bear or something. When you pointed to the bear, he'd ask if it came in a bigger size to match with the amount you paid for in the restaurant. This included clothes and other things until he saw something that even interested him.

You arrived home, waving bye to Shoto who made his way home which was walking distance away. The door slammed open as you shoved the giant stuffed panda through the door. You always loved panda's ever since you were a little so you were now an owner of a giant stuffed panda. Izuku looked over in confusion, seeing you roll it in and sat it in the room. "There!" You said as he walked over. "Hey, Is this where you disappeared off to?" He asked curiously. "Yeah, Shoto and I went to the restaurant and he brought me this. Isn't he cute?" You asked, not noticing the hurt look on his face.

"That...That must've cost a lot." He said before you shook your head, facing him. "Nah, Shoto wanted to make it even between us. I paid for the meal and he wanted to repay me for it," you said as Izuku smiled. "Well, I guess I'll make dinner for one tonight." He said as you giggled, "I'll make your favorite, I just need a shower. That was a workout." You commented while walking to the bathroom, leaving Deku behind who was trying to hide his slight jealousy.

. . .

You and Shoto became friends fast, the friendship developing fast as it became extremely obvious. You found different things to do and if Izuku was supposedly too busy, you just called Shoto who always offered his time. Most of the time, you never called and just called Shoto instead. You didn't want to interfere with Deku's work. Paparazzi started to get suspicious of why the number one hero's lover was doing with the number three hero. Rumors quickly spread like wildfire while you two didn't mind, it wasn't true.

It was nearing midnight, Deku was working back at the headquarters again, you assumed since he usually came home around this time. To avoid having to make half a meal again or even having a spoiled plate of food like yesterday, you called Shoto. Thankfully, he enjoyed the meal and thanked you for calling him since he worked hard earlier that day. You hummed quietly, scrubbing the dishes in the sink. A stinging pain rushed to your hand as you gasped, snatching it from the soapy water. Blood began to drip from your hand as Shoto rushed over. He took your hand and quickly examined it before grabbing the first aid kit from the cabinets.

The cooling sensation from his touch while he rubbed ointment in your wound before wrapping it. You smiled before frowning playfully, not hearing the door close. "You've gotta kiss it to make it better~" You instructed as Shoto looked at you rather confused. "What will that do?" He asked before you smiled. "Increase the healing." You said as he lifted your hand and kissed it before the sound of glass shattering was heard behind you two. You two snapped your attention to Deku who gripped the bear tightly before he tossed it aside.

"Hey! Babe, I didn't think y-" "Y/N, Can we talk?" He asked, stopping your words before grabbing your hand. He didn't pull or shove but his energy read complete anger. Once in the room, the door was slammed shut as he faced you. "So, Is that why you never call or visit anymore? You're busy with Shoto?" He asked, walking towards you. "Yeah, You're always busy and he works later at night so..I-I-I just assume.." You trailed off, your body slammed onto the wall as his hand pressed on the wall, inches away from your face. "Why is that? Does he satisfy you better than I can?" He asked as you swallowed your spit.

Your normally cute, soft baby boy was making your body weak from his dominant actions. "They think you left me for him...but what they don't know that you're mine. All fucking mine, Baby, and no one can have you. " He growled, his head inching close to your ear before he bit right underneath it. You let out a soft gasp while he sucked the tender flesh harshly, arcing your back as he scooped you up. "Baby, wait.." You tried to speak before his lips slammed against yours, pinning you to the wall. He broke the kiss while you pant harshly, lust engulfing the two of you. "Shoto's out there.." You said as he smirked. "Good, He'll know you're all mine baby." He growled, prying you from the wall.

Your body bounced against the bouncy bed while Deku snatched his shirt off while you followed, revealing your bra. He climbed on top of you, kissing and marking your neck, trailing down to your breasts. His scarred hands snatched the meaningless piece of fabric off your body before his lips latched onto your nipple. Your eyes closed while your back arched, receiving a hand into your panties. His tongue swirled and sucked while his fingers teased your clit, making moans slip from your mouth.

"I-Izuk-Ahh" You moaned, trying to speak. He pulled from your breast, kissing your lips again as his fingers slipped inside your sopping wet core, your velvet walls grasping him. Your toes curled while he started pumping into you, your hand wrapped around his wrist wanting him to slow down but he refused to show a sliver of mercy. Your moans were muffled from the kiss even though he could hear each one from those sweet lips of yours.

Suddenly, his hand snatched away as he grabbed your bottoms along with your panties. "D-D-Deku, Baby. I-Ahh~" You moaned aloud, his tongue slipping into your core. You honestly prayed that Shoto was long gone by now. Your eyes rolled back while his tongue worked unimaginably, sending chills through your body. Your hands covered your mouth to avoid the embarrassing fear of Shoto hearing the deed within the same walls as him. Your hips wiggled and grind with his movements before your hands snatched to his green fluffy hair while he toyed with your clit. You were nearly shaking when he pulled away, making your desperation overflow your body.

"Look at your baby, You're desperate for me and only me. He can't do what I can do.." He growled, snatching your hips to you. His tip rubbed against your clit, coating him in your warm juices. You closed your eyes, preparing yourself for a ride of your life before Izuku lifted your head, locking eye contact with you as he slid himself deep inside you. Your hand gripped the sheets, feeling him slide deep inside you. Your mouth agape open while he slammed himself deep inside you, inching himself deeper with each thrust.

"You're all mine baby! No one can have you! You're all mine. Mine and mine only, You look so beautiful when you're moaning my name~" He grunted, breaking the contact and pinning you to the bed. His right hand held your hip while his left kept your legs open in a brutalizing missionary position. "I'm the only one that can make you feel this way. You're my gorgeous babydoll." He growled against your ear while showing his hidden possessive side. Your hands moved from the sheets to his back, scratching it harshly while a rush of pleasure overpowered you. Your body began to shake as Izuku did something he has never done before, he pulled back and rubbed your clit feverishly.

"DEKU!!" You cried out as your squirt suddenly, spraying on him like a waterfall while he watched astonished by you. You panted, shaking as he came right after you, coating your walls before he pulled out. A few minutes would go by before you spoke, your hand over your face. "Y-You know nothing was going on between Sho and I, Right?" You questioned as he blushed softly. You couldn't help but giggle as he laid beside you. "I'd never leave you, Deku," you whispered, hugging him as your face pressed against his chest. "I know...I was just scared he would. I haven't been the best boyfriend lately and I was afraid that he would take you away from me. I hated seeing you so happy with him when it could've been me...and the media made it worse." He confessed while you smiled softly, your bandaged hand touched his chest.

"But I understood, I have since we started dating. You're the number one hero and you should do whatever you can to protect your citizens." You said, smiling softly while nuzzling into his chest. "You're my number one hero and I'll never want anything else." You added, earning a smile on his freckled face.

"How’d I get so lucky to have you?."

#my hero academia #my hero academy fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #my hero academia fanfiction #my hero academia scenarios #i hope you like this #bnha izuku midoriya #izuku headcanons #izuku midoria x reader #izuku x black!reader #izuku x y/n #izuku x you

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duhragonball · 4 years ago

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[FIC] Luffa: The Legendary Super Saiyan (127/?)

Disclaimer: This story features characters and concepts based on Dragon Ball, which is a trademark of Bird Studio/Shueisha and Toei Animation. This is an unauthorized work, and no profit is being made on this work by me. This story is copyright of me. Download if you like, but please don’t archive it without my permission. Don’t be shy.

Continuity Note: About 1000 years before the events of Dragon Ball Z.

[4 August 233 Before Age. Nagaoka.]

"Perfect. Absolutely perfect."

Treekul had spent the last several days laboring over a hot alembic, preparing a reagent at Rehval's instruction. Her lavender skin was dirty with soot and sweat. Her lips were dry and her eyes bleary from lack of sleep and water. Lowering herself to her knees, she laid the bottle containing her finished project at Rehval's feet, and waited for him to examine it for his appraisal.

"The war goes well, Treekul," he said, ignoring her reagent completely. "Luffa hasn't left Federation space for over four months now. I've bottled her in. It's perfect."

Treekul didn't particularly care about the war. She knew Rehval was waging one, and that he was using his cult followers as soldiers, but she wanted nothing to do with either. She had been brought to this place against her will, and Rehval refused to let her leave. It might have been simpler for him to kill her, but Rehval seemed to fancy the idea of grooming Treekul as an apprentice in the alchemical arts. This didn't interest her much either. Treekul was an alchemical historian, not a practitioner. She had only played along so far in the hopes that Rehval would let his guard down and give her an opportunity to escape.

And so, she didn't particularly care what he thought about the small bottle of golden liquid she had laid at his feet. All that mattered was that she had done as he asked, and that he would trust her a little more than ha had trusted her yesterday. So if he wanted to congratulate himself on his military adventures, Treekul would play along.

"Is that what this is about, boss?" she asked. "Bottling up the Super Saiyan? Because I don't see what good it does you. From what you've told me, everyone you've sent into Fed space has gotten killed. You can't keep this up forever."

"I don't need to contain Luffa forever," he said. "The point is that I've proven that it can be done at all. A day, a week, a month. The duration isn't as important as the precedent it sets. In my own way, I've shown the universe that I can overpower Luffa."

"Sorry, but I don't get it," Treekul said. "The way you talk about the war, it sounds like more of a stalemate than anything else."

"You lack vision, my disciple," Rehval said.

"Maybe, but I think my vision would be a lot clearer if I got some food and sleep," Treekul said. Wearily, she pointed up at the bottle. "It wasn't exactly easy making that stuff. I don't even know what it's for."

"Ah, how inconsiderate of me," Rehval said. He clapped his hands, and a pair of Saiyan men entered the room and stood at attention. Rehval pointed at Treekul like she was an dead animal he wanted removed from his presence.

"Priestess Treekul has undergone a great trial," he told them. "You will attend to her needs, and escort her back here in six hours."

"Twelve would be better," Treekul yawned, rubbing her eyes for effect.

"Six will have to do," he replied with an unctuous smile. "We still have much work to do, you and I."

Treekul sighed and went with the acolytes.

*******

Treekul wanted a shower, but the Jindan Cult seemed to prefer sponge baths. As a priestess, she had enough rank to at least keep the male acolytes out of the room during this, although they insisted on women taking over their duties in their absence. Treekul at least managed to talk them down to merely standing by while she handled the sponge herself.

"Just seems like everything around here is designed to humiliate a person," Treekul mumbled as she squeezed the sponge into a pot before drawing up clean water from another.

"Sure!" said one of the Saiyan women. "It's like the Thrice-Blessed always says. You gotta reduce an ore down to get at the true essence."

"Oh, I get it now," the other woman said. "For a minute there, I thought you were displeased with us, Priestess, and that was why you wouldn't let us help you. But making us stand around and watch is even more degrading than having us wash you off!"

"I'm not making you watch," Treekul grumbled. "As far as I'm concerned you two can go wander off and do something else, or at least turn around."

"Sorry, your grace," one of them said. "We have standing orders to see that no one harms you."

"Yeah, there's still some Saiyans here who haven't exactly... gotten with the program, you know?" the other one explained. "And if one of them lashed out in frustration, an alien like you might be hurt."

"Wonderful," Treekul said. "So where's Maro and Kocho? They're my usual babysitters, not those two men you replaced."

"I don't know, your grace," the first one said. "We normally serve the male priests, so we don't spend a lot of time with the acolytes who serve the women."

Treekul kept her head down so they wouldn't notice her frustration. She had talked Maro into escorting her to the shipyard. He thought she was only interested in meeting the technicians who maintained it, when her true motive was to gather information to plan an escape. But their schedules never seemed to line up, and then she stopped seeing him altogether. This was probably a simple duty rotation, but she didn't know enough about the cultist's work assignments to be certain, and she was afraid that it might be conspicuous if she asked too many questions about it. She could probably find another cultist willing to show her the shipyard, but that might also attract attention.

So she took a different tack, and chatted with the women about the compound's water supply. All she had seen of the cult was a series of natural and manmade caverns, connected by tunnels that were carved out of solid rock. Treekul had never seen the surface of the planet, but from they told her, it was an uninhabited wilderness. Work details were occasionally sent topside to gather fresh water from polar glaciers. So even if Treekul made it out of the compound, there wouldn't be a city of helpful natives to look for.

"Maro told me the skies were beautiful at night," Treekul lied. "Where I come from, there's too much light pollution to see the stars."

"I've never been outside," one of the acolytes said. "But I know there's no stars out there. Someone told me there's cloud cover over the whole atmosphere."

Foiled again. Treekul looked down and pretended to be very interested in scrubbing her left knee. She had no idea where Nagaoka even was in relation to the rest of the galaxy. The stars in the sky might have given her some clues, but now even those were denied to her. It was beginning to look like everything depended on getting herself a ship, and that all hinged on finding Maro.

*******

[4 August, 233 Before Age. Zenj I.]

Maro was his name. Zatte knew this because he wouldn't shut up about it, and she could hear his chatter over the communicator in her ear. All of the Jindan cultists were eager to prove themselves in battle, but that eagerness made them careless. Two miles away from the battlefield, Zatte watched Maro through the telescopic sight of her plasma rifle, and when she was sure that he was standing still, she opened fire.

Her ability to manipulate energy had a number of applications, but for combat, she preferred to bend light around herself as a nearly perfect camouflage. For this shot, she dropped that invisibility field, allowing her to focus her power on guiding her ammunition to the target. It was a difficult technique, one she was still struggling to master, but it allowed her to strike from greater distances. And it worked. She saw Maro fall through the scope, heard his blustery talk cut off in mid-sentence, and sensed his ki energy vanish in an instant.

Luffa was hurting. These groups of Jindan raiders were no match for her, but each one managed to get a few licks in, and she had been fighting them on planet after planet for weeks. Dr. Topsas had developed mycotherapy techniques to heal her quickly, but it still took a few days for that to work, and once it was done, Luffa would have to return to the grind. There seemed to be no end to the Jindan attacks on Federation territory, and no way to take the fight to them.

Luffa probably should have undergone mycotherapy after the last battle, but she wanted to take care of the cultists in the Zenj System first. And on paper, it was probably worth it. She was more than holding her own against the cultists, but Zatte could tell that Luffa's moves were sluggish and pained compared to her usual self. Normally, Zatte never even got a chance to fire her rifle in these battles. Luffa made a game of trying to defeat the enemy before Zatte could get off a shot. This time, Zatte had made five kills, and lining up for a sixth.

It was gratifying to assist Luffa this much, but it was troubling to know that she needed this much help. To a casual observer, the Legendary Super Saiyan would have seemed as invincible as ever. She was a gleaming yellow blur, dodging and deflecting the cultists's attacks, and countering their numbers with overwelming force. But Zatte could hear Luffa's grunts and stifled groans through the communications earpiece. She could sense that Luffa's power wasn't quite as high as usual. And she had seen her various injuries back on their ship.

It reminded Zatte of Luffa's defeat against the Tikosi. As horrific as that day was, Zatte kept reminding herself that it directly resulted in Luffa's ascension, and all of the good that came with it. Luffa was destined to prevail. Providence would see to that. All Zatte had to do was hold on tight and help Luffa along until her purpose was fulfilled.

She noticed one of the Saiyan cultists had broken off from the group. They knew there was a shooter, and this one was trying to track Zatte down. "Good luck," were the words she mouthed to herself. A ballistics team with advanced equipment might have been able to follow the path of her plasma bursts back to the source, but all this man had were his senses. Zatte doubted that even a Saiyan could pick up her scent from two miles downwind, and she had cloaked herself completely from ki senses and visible light. Even if he fired an energy blast in her general direction, it would have to be such a wide dispersal that she was certain she could deflect the worst of it. He'd just leave himself wide open for Luffa.

Take your best shot, she thought as she lined him up in her scope. He seemed to be taking his time, moving erratically through the air to avoid her fire while he prepared himself. And as Zatte waited for him, she noticed something.

It was a Zenjin ki signature, one so faint that she hadn't even noticed it until now. This part of the city was supposed to have been evacuated, but someone had stayed behind. Moving carefully, Zatte looked up from the broken wall she had been using for cover. Less than a hundred yards away, she spotted a child. A little boy, she thought. She had trouble telling when it came to Zenjins. Something about their antennae, and the patterns on the wings that hung from their backs like capes.

He was dressed in an imitation of Zenjin military garb, and seemed to be watching the battle through a pair of telescopic goggles. He reminded her of herself as a child, always playing soldier.

This was bad. If the Saiyan had sensed his life energy, the he might concentrate his attack in this direction. Zatte might still survive, but the boy would definitely not. Even if she managed to line up a shot and take out the Saiyan first, one of the others might pick up where he left off. And Luffa's hands were full at the moment.

There was only one choice. The Dorlun survival ethic placed self-preservation above all else. Luffa was xan-nil'Dor, chosen by Providence, so that made dying for Luffa a rare exception. To forsake that sacred duty for a child she didn't even know wasn't just a bad idea. It was heretical, a betrayal of everything the Dorluns believed.

Zatte leaped out from her cover and ran as fast as she could to reach the boy. Thanks to Luffa's training, she was able to cross the distance in only a few seconds, but using her top speed also meant that she had to drop her invisibility field. The Saiyan spotted her immediately.

"Who--?" the boy started to ask as Zatte snatched him up in her arms. She kept moving, slowing down only enough to restore her cloaking effect around them both.

"I'm Luffa's shadow," Zatte said between breaths. The situation was bad enough without telling him her name. She was zealous enough to bend and twist the survival ethic, but not that far. There were other Dorluns out there, she hoped, and there was no reason to tell this boy of their existence. Not that he was likely to threaten her people, but there was still the principle of the thing.

"I can't see!" the boy gasped.

"I made us invisible," Zatte said. Each Dorlun had a unique ability, and hers allowed her to bend light rays around herself. Now that she was close enough to him, she could bend the light around the child too, but she couldn't share her ability to see through the cloaking effect. To him, it looked like the whole world had gone dark. She wanted to explain this to him, to assure him that he was safer now that she could use her powers to protect him, but before she could speak, she was knocked off her feet by an explosion.

The next thing she knew, she was lying on the ground, still clutching the child in her arms, and looking up at the Saiyan who had been searching for her.

"Well what do we have here?" he asked with a triumphant sneer. "I always knew the Super Saiyan was an alien trick, and here I find an alien supporting Luffa on the battlefield. Let me guess: she's really an android, and your job is to shoot anyone who gets close enough to see through her holographic effects."

"It's going to be all right," Zatte said to the boy. "You're safe as long as you stay close to me." From the way he trembled, she didn't think he believed her, but she wanted to say it anyway.

"Yeah," the Saiyan said. "That explains how she seemed to move so quickly. It's that invisibility effect you use. You make your puppet disappear and reappear, or even project illusions of her to throw us off-balance." He took a step back from her and pointed his short spear at her. "You're quite the little witch, aren't you, One-Eye? Better keep my distance, eh? I bet if I came any closer you'd use some other secret weapon on me."

He was right. In a pinch, Zatte could use her ability to burst blood vessels, but that trick only worked in close quarters. She had dropped her rifle when she ran to get the boy, and her speed and invisibility were useless with him standing right in front of her.

"You can't kill me," Zatte said, her left eye opening wide with conviction. "You'd be better off running away, or begging for mercy."

"Is that right?" he chuckled. The tip of his spear began to glow pale blue as he prepared his attack. "And why is th--?"

He suddenly noticed an intense increase in ki on the battlefield. Zatte felt it too, felt his comrades all scatter as golden balls of fire came streaking out towards them. Zatte had used her abilities to cloud the Saiyan's senses, so that he didn't know what was going on until just now, when it was too late. He tried to dodge the blast that now approached him, but it struck anyway, and when the light faded and the smoke cleared, he looked like he could barely stand. His clothes and hair were singed beyond recognition, and his skin was covered in burns and scorchmarks.

"I'm with her to the end," Zatte said, although she doubted that he could still hear her. "She and I will die together, so you'll never kill me unless I'm by her side."

He still had enough in him to step forward, no longer caring about any secret weapon Zatte might have. As he raised his spear, he suddenly stopped, and looked down at his abdomen to find a fist that had impaled him from behind.

"That was a mistake," Luffa said so quietly that Zatte only heard it through her earpiece. The man tried to turn his spear on Luffa's bloody wrist, acting more on instinct than any sensible plan, but then a golden glow appeared on her arm, which spread out to envelop his entire body. He made a weak, anguished cry of pain, and then he disintegrated like burning guncotton, and leaving only Luffa where he once stood.

"Are you all right?" Luffa asked, sounding more fatigued than she probably meant to. There was blood on her black racerback and yellow pants, and Zatte knew at least some of it was Luffa's own.

Zatte released the child and rose to her feet. "I'm fine," she said. "What about--?"

"Let's... let's get back to the ship," she said, then turning to the boy: "You can find your own way home, right, soldier?"

He was so awestruck that he almost forgot to answer, and Luffa barely waited for him to nod. "Good. Let's go," she said.

*******

[4 August 233 Before Age. Nagaoka.]

Treekul expected her next lesson to be an evaluation of her last assignment. Instead, she entered Rehval's laboratory and found him dressed like he was going to an expensive restaurant instead of presiding over a cult.

"I'd like you to wear this instead," Rehval said. He held up a black dress and presented it to Treekul before she could even step towards him.

"I thought the robes were specially treated to protect us from chemical burns," Treekul asked as she reluctantly accepted Rehval's gift. It was one of the few things she appreciated about her 'apprenticeship'. Her priestess garment was little more than strips of red cloth haphazardly arranged into a dress, but he had to cover her in more modest protective equipment for the lab work.

"Oh, we won't be slaving over the retorts this time," he said with a laugh. "I thought I'd treat you to something special. A little reward for your hard work."

She waited for him to tell her where to change, and when he didn't she simply headed for the bathroom and put on the dress there. She recognized the style as Camelian fashion. The neckline was square and the hem was in a sawtooth pattern. What truly grabbed Treekul's attention was what was attached to the dress. The price tag was still hanging from the inside of the back, and it identified a particular clothing store as its point of origin. She removed it, but folded the tag in with her usual clothes so she could look at it later. With any luck, it would help her figure out where to go whenever she found a way off the planet.

Rehval put his arm around her waist and led her to a room she had never seen before. Gold bullion lay in piles on the floor. A statue of a woman holding a torch-- also gold-- stood on a pedestal along one of the walls. A scarlet cloth hung over the figure's shoulders. Several paintings adorned the walls, including portraits she recognized from her alchemical history textbooks. In the center of the room was a small-but-expensive-looking table, with dinner served for two. A bottle of wine in a gilded bucket of ice served as a centerpiece for the occasion.

"There's not much to see outside of the caverns," he explained. "So when I want to share my aesthetics with someone, I bring them here." He picked up a gold coin and examined it idly while Treekul took it all in. "It doesn't compare to the villa I once had on Pflaume II, but I decorated the place myself, so I suppose it's a bit more personal that way."

"Where did you get all this money?" Treekul asked. "Wait, dumb question. You're an alchemist. You transmuted an equal weight of lead, didn't you?"

"Cadmium, actually," Rehval said. "It's a similar technique, but I find the procedure more sentimental."

"Where would you even spend it?" Treekul asked. "Unless you give this stuff to your followers when they do missions off-world?"

He laughed. "You're such a utilitarian, Treekul. No wonder you like to keep your hair so short. It's nothing but dead cells to you, waste material to be disposed of. It probably never occurs to you that you might look ravishing with the right style. Although I have to admit, I do enjoy the contours of your head... Anyway, the coins, the gold, they're all for show. Once I learned to counterfeit my own cash, I realized how pointless finances really are. But it still looks pretty, and it impresses other people. A big wooden chest stuffed with gold coins has a romantic touch, don't you think? A bauble I can show off to demonstrate my power."

Treekul's gaze lingered on the chest for a while, and Rehval moved on to a large bookshelf along the wall.

"Have a look at this," Rehval said. He handed Treekul a book bound in old leather, and the smell of the pages was enough for her to estimate the age of it. As she flipped through the tome, Rehval stepped behind her and craned his head over her shoulder. Then he placed his hands on either side of her waist.

"What is this?" Treekul asked.

"You're the archaeologist," Rehval said. "You tell me. I thought you would be interested to ply your trade a bit."

She shrugged and examined several pages. "Encryption 40... No, this is 41," Treekul said a few minutes later. "This was definitely encoded by an alchemist. I'd say... five hundred years ago."

"A layman from that era would read that text and think it was nothing more than a cookbook," Rehval said. Treekul didn't like how close his lips were to her ear, but there wasn't anything she could do about it.

"It is a cookbook," Treekul said. She studied another page more closely, then checked the table of contents to see if the rest of the book covered any other topics. It did not. "The encryption is authentic. Only a student of the Topaz school could have coded this, but when you decode the recipes you just get... different recipes. But it's all food."

"Yes, I know," Rehval said. He gestured to the table somewhat haughtily. "I used it to prepare our dinner."

"Where did you get this?" Treekul asked.

"One of my flock retrieved it for me," Rehval said. "I sent him to the Percel Nebula as a trial of courage. I keep it here with my other collections."

"What's so important about a cookbook, boss?" Treekul asked. "Unless there's another layer of encryption to this, it barely qualifies as an antique."

"You miss the point," he said. "The book itself is nearly worthless. What matters is that I sent a man to find it for me, and he braved many dangers to come back with it. I suspected he wasn't entirely devoted to my cause, but once he handed this to me, I knew that no traitor would go to such lengths for me. From that moment on, I knew that he belonged to me, body and soul."

Treekul bit her lower lip at the sound of this. Then Rehval released her, and headed for the table.

"By the way, I examined your potion," he said. "The formulation was nearly flawless. You have a real talent for alchemy, Treekul. Next time I'll have to assign you a formula that's actually useful. But for now, it'll make a fine addition to my collection."

It was then that she noticed the vial on the shelf where the book had come from. It looked exactly the same as the one she had given to him six hours ago, though it was impossible for her to be absolutely sure.

"Oh, I thought you might want to know that I've assigned a different acolyte to see to your personal needs," Rehval said. "I had to send Mero to the front lines, and he was just killed on Zenj I this morning, so I'm afraid he won't be coming back."

She lowered her head and tightened her grip on the book. With her back turned, she was grateful that Rehval couldn't see the look on her face. He was using her, just as surely as he was using everyone else in this mad cult of his. She could play along and try to win his trust, but she would only be sinking herself deeper and deeper into his game. Did he know that she was trying to use Mero for her escape plan, or would he have sent Mero to die in any event?

No, the real question she needed to ask herself was whether any of it mattered at all. Rehval didn't seem to care what she did or how well she did it. He just wanted her here, like some housepet, or the coins he wouldn't spend, or the book he didn't need, or the potions that served no purpose. She had flattered herself by thinking she could resist him, but in reality there was nothing for her to resist. She was like a rodent in a maze. Even if she died trying to oppose him, he would just shrug his shoulders and find someone else to toy with.

That was why he left that tag on her dress. He wanted her to find it, to make her think that he had made a mistake, that there was some slight opening in her prison. It was just a game to him.

"Well then, come sit down and let's eat," he said. "I'd like to tell you more about my collection..."

With a sharp breath, Treekul turned to join him. For now, there was nothing else she could do.

NEXT: GUWAR

#dragon ball #fanfiction #super saiyan #lssjluffafic #luffa #zatte #trismegistus #treekul #zenj #nagaoka

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ktstudyblr · 6 years ago

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Evening study bugs!

Now that most kids are back at school (at least where I live), now is a good time to talk about revising content! As a freshly graduated eighteen-year-old, staying on top of content when I was at school was something that was imperative to staying afloat (especially doing as many content heavy subjects as I did). Whether you’re more visual or logistical in the way you learn, I’m sure there will be something for every type of student down below with my six tips to revising content.

One) Type to book revision! This method is a really good one to get into the habit of! I’m sure you’re all well aware of the rush of information being shovelled into your brains as you’re frantically taking down notes before the teacher changes the slide. As someone who loves having a tidy and clean workspace, I want my notes book to look the same as well. However, in class, you’re usually having to compromise the aesthetic value of notetaking for information to make sure you don’t miss out on anything (or vice versa)! So I like to use my computer or a spare book to messily write notes down in class to make sure I get all the information I need. This document or book does not exist to look pretty or make you feel inspired by its beautiful typography or its highlighted headings, but rather as a source of the information you learnt in class. The way I use this to revise is by retyping/rewriting these notes in a document/notebook at home where I have the time and energy to put effort into the aesthetics of my notetaking. When you’re retyping/rewriting notes from your class, you’re revisiting content that you earlier may have just had to briefly look over in order to not miss anything. Looking at a tidy and beautiful display of notes not only can help you visually learn a lot better, but it motivates you to keep learning. But just keep in mind that the appearance of notes does not equate to the quality of note taking and personally should not be valued over retaining information. Making pretty notes is fun but it can shift into procrastination if you let it overtake your ability to retain and revise the information!

Two) Cue cards and flash cards! All throughout high school, cue cards and flash cards were my absolute favourite form of revision! And many of you probably use it now as it’s such a popular way to test yourself and emulate the conditions of an exam or test. The difference I find between cue cards and flash cards is that cue cards provide the information in short summaries whilst flash cards prompt the information on one side, and show the answer on the other, hence testing you. Personally, I like to write down my content onto physical cue cards and test myself. That way, I’m also taking the time to revise the content when I’m writing them down onto the cards! If writing them down isn’t your thing (it can be pretty tedious, especially if there’s a lot of information!), there are plenty of online options to type your information out. Studyblue, Quizlet and making them yourself on Word or Pages are all great alternatives to writing down each bit of content! Before I move onto the next idea, I have two helpful tips in regards to cue/flashcards that may be beneficial when writing/typing them up. The first is to try and pace out your time between studying/homework so you can write up cue/flashcards throughout the year. Take it from me, it’s not a great idea to leave all the content to the last week to type up into cue card form. So, it’s a pretty good idea to gradually keep up with cue/flash card making throughout the year. Also, it’s always a wise idea to keep your cue/flash cards after a test/exam has been completed in case you need to revisit them later!

Three) Unusual reminders! Now this one probably isn’t quite as common or widely used, but it will help you remember information that you’re struggling to retain! I wouldn’t recommend using this tip for all of your information because it's rather suited for content that you’re repeatedly having trouble remembering. In the days or weeks leading up to a test or exam, it's a good idea to write down the content in short, summarised points on individual cards/paper and leave them in places/objects that you use regularly. For example, if you’re having trouble remembering a definition, you could write it down on a small piece of paper and tuck it into your shoes, socks, toothbrush holder, toilet door, wallet etc. Using this strategy will force your mind to view content more regularly (without staring at a book mindlessly) and it will often come to the natural conclusion of retaining that information out of the regularity of your habits!

Four) 5-minute rush! This next one is a good strategy you can do on your own, or with a study group! Create a few main topics that encompass all of the information you’ve learnt for a specific subject and give yourself 5 minutes to write down all of the information you can remember related to that topic on a piece of paper or a computer (but no cheating with notes because it defeats the purpose of the exercise!). After 5 minutes, it’s a good idea to compare and correct the information you wrote down to see the accuracy of your results. This is a good exercise to test your knowledge in time-sensitive conditions. However, if you don’t get all the information you aimed for, don’t be disheartened! Treat it as a learning opportunity to grow and learn more information!

Five) Glass and Mirror learning! This next one is fairly similar to tip three and four as it lends itself to some of the same approaches. However, I use this as a content revision technique because it requires a large surface for you to expand your ideas and knowledge on! What you’ll need for this strategy are some windows or mirrors (that aren’t super valuable, sentimental or dangerous for you to access!) and some window chalk! For those of you unaware of what window chalk is, it usually comes in marker-like tubes and will usually read something like ‘applicable to non-porous surfaces’ on the labelling. But again, probably just read the packaging for whether it is safe on your glass and mirror surface at home. I like using these markers on my long mirrors in my bedroom because they take up a large portion of my room and force me to read them. I find this as a good method a revising content because not only am I writing the information down (a great tool for revision), but I am placing that information in an area where I will regularly view it as opposed to a notebook where you can only view the information if you physically search it up. This strategy is great because the information is always at your disposal in plain sight for when you’re ready to do some light revision!

Six) Podcasts! I got this next tip off of one of my teachers when I was in year nine and it’s honestly a really good tip. At the end of each class when you get home at night, it’s a good idea to read over the notes you learnt in class today and record yourself reading it. Once you’ve done this, you can export it into an mp3 file and import it onto apps such as Spotify for your own personal listening! This is a really great method of revision when you’re in situations where it may not be ideal to whack out the books and start working. If you’re on the train or the bus to school, this is a really great way to revisit content learnt in the class prior so that you give yourself a mental refresher for the class ahead! It’s also a good way to get your mind focused for the day ahead (It’s okay, I sometimes have trouble getting my head into the working grind in the mornings too!) It’s a really great strategy all-round but you may just have to get over the obstacle of hearing your own voice in your ear whilst you get to school!

And that’s all for now folks! I hope you guys can perhaps find at least one thing useful in the above tips and that maybe you want to apply to your next study session! I understand not all of these tips will apply to everyone and that’s cool, but I find when studying something that’s not exactly stimulating, it’s nice to switch up your study method and shift your practice in accordance to the demands of what you are and/or having trouble with learning!

Sorry for the lack of upload as well guys! Just started University this week so uploads may be a tad sporadic from now on, but I’ve got some great ideas and posts coming out soon that have been planned for you all to look forward to!

kt xo

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sirius-archive · 6 years ago

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Chaos Theory Pt. 4

Warnings: Swearing, Underaged drinking.

Word Count: 6064 (holy Heck)

A/N: omg this is sooooo late I’m sorry guys. Like, really, I am. It’s been freaking insane and I’ve been literally going out of my god damn mind. Anyway, I finally got this finished so yay. Also, I could not find a translator that could properly communicate what I was trying to say so I’m sorry for people who actually speak Latin and read this and are like ....wtf???

Summary: While staying at the Burrow, Reader has an awkward interaction with Harry, and the Trio get into an argument of sorts. She thinks that things can’t get any worse until her father makes a surprise visit.

Chapter Four:

On a good day, Adrien Arden is an award-winning journalist.

The charismatic and charming editor-and-chief of the largest source of wizarding news in the world. A clever leader adored by his colleagues and friends. A winner of several accolades for his service to the wizarding community and a personal friend of the Minister of Magic, Cornelius Fudge. He’s the handsome, brooding widower with eyes that have the ability to draw you in and a smile worth more than all the gold in Gringotts. During his years at Hogwarts, he had been destined for success; a Slytherin Prefect and Head Boy and was regarded fondly by peers and professors alike.

On a bad day, Adrien Arden is a father.

A perfectionist with standards higher than a crowd of rowdy teenagers at a Weird Sisters concert. A workaholic and a ghost who drifts in and out of your life like the tide; pulling you in when he thinks it’s necessary and pushing you away when he realizes it isn’t.

Sometimes, you pity Adrien Arden.

It must be such a lonely existence; to work and work without receiving a reward. To have such ravenous ambition that has consumed every aspect of your being, pushing you further and further until you reach the edge. To realize that he’s repelled all the people who matter away, to not realize that all those galleons that sparkle and glitter in the family vault are worthless compared to the love and respect of his two children.

And it’s this pity that motivates you to keep a calm and level-head. It’s this pity that compels you to be the good little daughter for the sake of relative peace. And it’s this pity that helps you realize that family is the only way to keep your mother’s wishes alive, even though she isn’t.

Luke, however, is not so forgiving.

You don’t think there was ever a time where Luke got along with your father. Perhaps they are too similar, and for this reason, they clash. Whatever the reason is, though, it’s clear that Luke hates Adrien with every cell in his being, and if anyone ever doubts that, then all they had to do is step into the Weasley’s kitchen and glimpse at the razor-sharp glare Luke is giving your father right now.

A heavy tension blankets the room in uncomfortable warmth, grating against your skin like sandpaper, and you fiddle with your bracelet to expel the nervous energy tickling your fingertips. You can almost feel the anger igniting the air around Luke, stiffening his spine, sharpening the edges of his jaw, curling his hands into fists.

Mrs Weasley must sense it, too, because she rolls her sleeves up and flashes a dimpled smile, “I’ll let you three spend some quality time together.”

Luke scoffs but doesn’t say anything more, most likely out of respect for Mrs Weasley. Mrs Weasley hurries off as your father draws a carefully guarded smile across his lips. It’s polished and professional, much like he is.

“I’m so relieved that you’re all okay,” Adrien says, and for a moment you actually believe him.

“Took you a while to remember we exist,” Luke spits, indignantly. The insult bounces off Adrien’s layers like a Protego spell.

“I’ve been...busy at work,” he says, calmly, “I’m sure you can understand.”

A derisive scoff issues from the back of Luke’s throat.

“It’s okay, father,” you say, trying to keep your tone reassuring, “We know that you’re busy.”

“Too busy to be a father,” Luke mutters, darkly, not meeting his eye.

Adrien ignores the comment, “I don’t have a lot of time but I just wanted to check in and see how you’re both going. Did you have fun at the World Cup anyway?”

“Yeah,” you shrug, “it was nice. I mean, before all of the chaos it was actually a really lovely night.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Adrien smiles fondly.

“Oh, Mr Arden,” says a familiar voice from behind you, and a shy, blushing Hermione steps forward. Ron and Harry follow behind her.

“Hello Hermione,” Adrien flashes her a smile and nods at Ron and Harry, “Hullo boys. Good to see you three again. How are you all?”

Harry shrugs, “We’re good, I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Well, considering the night we just had we’re not exactly going to be prancing around picking flowers and shooting rainbows out of our asses,” Luke snaps, coldly, and Adrien narrows his eyes on him, working his jaw, grinding back whatever he wants to say.

A loud, obnoxious beeping startles you, and Adrien glances down at his screeching watch.

“That’s all I have time for, for now. I have to head back to the office and submit some papers.”

“Glad you could fit us into your tight schedule,” Luke scowls, “Just leave. No one wants you here anyway.”

Your father clears his throat and bends down to embrace you awkwardly. You wrap your arms lightly around his neck, wondering whether its normal for a fatherly embrace to feel like you’re hugging a pole. He pulls away quickly and straightens, moving toward Luke. Luke folds his arms across his chest and steps away, refusing to look at his father. Adrien heaves a heavy sigh.

“I’ll see you...later,” he says and he gives your friends a weary smile, “I’ll send you an owl.”

Adrien walks into the kitchen, thanks a blushing Mrs Weasley for her hospitality, and leaves. You turn to Luke.

“Well that was...” you trail off, silenced by the expression on Luke’s face. His mouth is screwed shut and his eyes are glaring daggers in the direction where your father left, “Luke?”

Luke isn’t listening, though. Instead, he charges forward, nearly knocking you aside, and strides toward the door.

“Luke!” You call out, but Luke reaches for the door knob, yanks it open and slams it shut in your face. You push it open and peek through the crack.

“Why did you really come?” Luke demands, storming up to his father, “You don’t just decide to pop in after weeks of not seeing us!”

Adrien sighs, exasperated, “It’s as I said; I really was concerned for your wellbeing. Both you and your sister.”

Luke lurches forward and for a moment, you think that he’s going to tackle Adrien to the ground in a fit of fury. Instead, he rises up to his father, spine straightened in deadly determination. “Keep my sister out of your rotten mouth.”

Adrien narrows his eyes coldly on your brother, like a sniper taking aim, “Is that a threat, boy? Because if it is, you’d better follow through with it. I did not raise a coward.”

Luke bristles, “You have no right to think of her as your daughter when I was the one who raised her. I looked after her and protected her and held her as she mourned. I was the one who took her to Diagon Alley, bought her her first wand and school robes. I did the job you were supposed to do while you wallowed in self-pity and abandoned us as though your own children were a burden, stopping you from your precious work.”

Adrien steels, a dark expression falling over his sharp features, “Lukas Adrien Arden, if you ever doubt my responsibilities as a father again, I will personally ensure that it is the last thing you do.”

Luke steps back from the looming figure of his father, “You’re up to something, I know it. And I’ll find out, I always do.”

Adrien’s entire demeanour shifts and an amused ghost of a smile teases the corners of his lips, “I don’t doubt that. You are my son after all.”

“I’m nothing like you,” Luke spits, venomously.

“Oh but you are,” Adrien clamps a hand on Luke’s shoulder. Luke struggles under Adrien’s grip, but his grasp is like a vice, locking Luke into submission, “And when the day comes that you realise you are, you’ll regret every bad word you’ve ever said to me.”

You stare as Luke jerks away from Adrien’s grip and staggers backwards. The tension is stifling, like an ominous cloud of thick fog creeping over you, and you have to physically step back from the door to remember how to breathe again.

It’s sort of distressing, seeing Luke so riled up when he’s usually so smooth and refined. He looks and acts like a completely different person like someone has hijacked Luke’s body and is puppeteering his words and actions. It’s a persona that emerges whenever your father is around, a defence mechanism Luke has carefully honed after years of loathing and disgust.

It’s...unhealthy. Unnatural. Worrying.

Stepping away from the door, you turn and start toward Luke’s room, hoping you’ll be able to chat with him later. You doubt you’ll have any luck but he needs to know that you’ll be there for him in all the ways he was for you. Before you can make it up the stairs, though, you walk into a nervous-looking Harry.

“Hey,” he says, tearing a hand through his hair.

“Hey,” you echo, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

“I...wanted to apologise-” Harry starts, but you cut him off with a raised hand.

“-You seem to be apologising a lot, lately,” You say, and Harry’s lips quirk into a sheepish smile. You mimic it as you continue, “I don’t know what’s going on, and if you don’t want to tell me then I respect that. I just...I want you to know that you can talk to me. I’m here for you, I always have and I always will be.”

Harry hesitates for a moment, his mouth moving around silent words, as though he’s carefully stringing them together. Laughter echoes from the backyard, ringing through the silence. You’re just about to say something when Harry beats you to it, his voice low, “Follow me.”

Intrigued and a little surprised, you watch as Harry scales the winding stairs, the sound of the floorboards groaning in protest filling the growing distance between the two of you. You start to follow him until you reach his and Rons shared room and he pushes the door open, inviting you in. You climb onto his bed and Harry closes the door behind you, fidgeting nervously with his glasses. Something in his expression seems hesitant, as though he’s debating on what to say. You wait patiently.

“It’s my scar,” he finally murmurs, “It’s been hurting lately and– I think it may be connected to the attack at the World Cup.”

“Oh,” you say, trying to swallow back the distant ache throbbing in your throat, “Oh, Harry. This is...this is serious. Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“I was going to tell you,” Harry says, quickly, the words flying from his lips like a practised excuse, “In the Forrest when we were looking for the Portkey. But then...then Cedric came and I didn’t get a chance to talk to you alone.”

You study Harry for a long moment, eyes sweeping over his fidgeting form. He seems unsettled, a little nervous, perhaps hesitant, like he’s trying to tackle something on his tongue back into his throat. You figure it could just be his nerves, but you can’t help but wonder if he wants to say more.

“Is that what you guys were arguing about this afternoon?” You ask and Harry nods, “Why was Luke there?”

Harry blinks at you, “What?”

“Why was Luke there?” You reiterate, calmly, “I heard him arguing with you.”

Before he can answer, there is a tentative knock at the door and a moment later, Ginny’s head pokes out from behind it. A small blush blossoms beneath her freckled cheeks when she notices Harry but then her eyes drift toward you and she raises a sharp brow.

“Mum says dinner is ready,” she says, her voice soft.

“Okay,” you and Harry blurt at the same time and Ginny nods as she closes the door.

You slide off Harry’s bed and straighten, “I don’t know about you but I’m starving.”

Harry chortles, his smile loose, relieved “Yeah, I could really go for some roast chicken right about now.”

You smile at Harry, “Thanks for telling me.”

Harry nods and gives a half-hearted smile, “Thanks for listening.”

As you descend the staircase, chatting lightly and smiling easily, a sense of nostalgia overcomes you like a wave of warm sepia and it almost feels like old times without all the secrecy and nervous energy. It almost feels like, for a fleeting moment, it is just you and Harry and nothing between the two of you.

Almost.

***

After a delicious dinner and a scrumptious dessert, you and Hermione sit in front of the fireplace, Hermione in the armchair and you sitting crossed-leg on the floor. Your Quidditch World Cup article sits in your lap as your eyes scan the parchment, reading and re-reading.

“Is Luke okay?” Hermione suddenly asks, not even trying to clip the worry from her voice, “He wasn’t himself at dinner.”

You look up from your work, pushing your hair off your face, “He always gets like that around my dad,” you admit with a small shrug, pretending that it doesn’t bother you, “He just needs his space.”

Hermione nods, though there is an expression of worry creeping over her face and you study her, noting her features carefully. Before you can question her, Fred sidles up to the two of you, eyes glinting mischievously.

“Hey you two,” he greets, smirking wolfishly, “We’ve got a couple bottles of booze and absolutely no regrets. Wanna join us?”

“Please tell me this isn’t a giant orgy or something,” you retort and Hermione blushes furiously.

“Nah,” Fred shakes his head with a grin, “Though I’m open for persuasion.”

You snort and shake your head, smiling, “Only in my nightmares.”

Fred clutches his chest in mock hurt, “Aw, we could have been something special.”

“You’ll get over it.”

“And what exactly are we going to do?” Hermione asks, her brows raised expectantly. Fred straightens importantly.

“Get pissed.”

“She was only asking,” you quip and Fred rolls his eyes.

“Get sloshed. Buzzed. Wasted. Inebriated. Intoxicated,” he narrows his eyes pointedly at you, “Drunk. What else are you supposed to do with fire whiskey? Bathe in it? Because we’ve tried and it’s not…good.”

“But we’re underage?” Hermione says, eying Fred suspiciously.

“So?” Fred shrugs, “You’ve already broken the law by helping a wanted fugitive escape, not to mention several hundred school rules. What’s another stupid law?”

A pale pink blush tickles the apples of her cheeks and Hermione averts her gaze, “Right.”

“Come on guys,” Fred whines, imploring you with large, pleading eyes, “You’re always putting yourselves in constant danger. Why not relax for the night?”

“He’s got a point,” you shrug, turning to Hermione. She chews her bottom lip thoughtfully, giving Fred an appraising look. Finally, she glances at you and gives a small nod.

“Alright,” she says, lifting her chin slightly, more confidently, “but I’m filling my own glass. I don’t want you pouring me a drink.”

“Why? Don’t you trust us?” Fred asks, grinning wickedly.

“You don’t want me to answer that question.”

Fred shakes his head, forlornly, “All you young whipper-snappers going around and breaking an old man’s heart.”

“As (Y/N) said, ‘You’ll get over it.’”

You bark a laugh and high-five Hermione. Fred wipes an imaginary tear away and pouts exaggeratedly.

“We’re meeting at 11pm,” Fred leans in and lowers his voice to a not-so-quiet whisper, “That way, mum and dad will be asleep, and they won’t get suspicious.”

With a smirk and a wink, Fred whirls off and saunters out of the room. You watch him leave, nibbling your bottom lip, twirling and twisting your bracelet between your nimble fingers. Somehow, for some reason, you have a feeling that the night isn’t going to go as smoothly as Fred thinks.

***

At ten to eleven, you, Hermione and Ginny tip-toe out of her bedroom and make a slow start to the stairs.

The corridor looks odd like this; cloaked in darkness and completely void of sound or movement. The Burrow has always felt alive, pulsing with life as though it were a heart pumping blood through the veins of the house. Come night time, that heart seems to falter to a stop, leaving the house eerily quiet. You shiver.

“This is weird,” you whisper, “It’s so quiet. I feel like I’m walking through a graveyard.”

Ginny shudders, and in the pale light of your wand, you see her face contort into a scowl, “Thanks for the commentary. Now I feel paranoid in my own house.”

“It’s okay,” Hermione murmurs, softly, “Mrs Weasley and Mr Weasley are here, too, don’t forget.”

“That makes me feel even better,” Ginny drawls, sardonically, “If a murderer doesn’t leap out and slaughter me where I stand, my mum will.”

“No one is going to kill anyone–”

A loud groan interrupts Hermione mid-speech and you all jump, spinning around to face the source of the noise. Clamping a hand over your mouth, you muffle your shriek as Hermione gasps and staggers backwards toward the railing and Ginny fumbles with her wand. It slips from between her fingers like a stick of butter and clatters on the ground. Heart racing, you raise your wand and heave a sigh of relief.

Harry and Ron both stare at the three of you, eyes wide, faces flushed and chests heaving. Harry bends down and grabs Ginny’s wand, handing it to her with a gentle smile. Ginny squeaks a breathless ‘Thank you,’ and darts back to your side. Ron gawks at you, his expression somewhere between bemusement and frustration.

“Bloody hell,” Ron curses under his breath, “It’s just us.”

“Well don’t sneak up on us!” you hiss, “You nearly scared us to death!”

“Sorry,” Harry mumbles, sheepishly, “Let’s just go before we get caught.”

You start toward the stairs and begin descending the creaking staircase.

Somehow, every step you make seems to amplify, ringing through the house like a blaring siren, as though the house is designed to alert Mr and Mrs Weasley that their children are sneaking out after curfew. Trying to balance on the tips of your toes, you slowly descend the never-ending staircase, contemplating whether it was such a good idea to leave the comfort of your bed in the first place.

“Luke seemed kind of off at dinner tonight,” Harry mutters leaning forward, “Is he…y’know?”

“He just hates my dad,” You whisper back, surprised that Harry noticed. You’re about to make a joke out of it but Hermione shushes you into silence from over her shoulder. As she turns back, though, she misses a step and stumbles forward.

“Hermione–!” Ron gasps from behind you and you listen for a loud thump, but it never comes. You direct your wand to the end of the staircase and find Hermione lying in someone’s arms.

“Oh, Luke,” Hermione murmurs, flustered, several shades of red rippling across her face, “Thanks.”

“No problem,” he smiles softly at her and she straightens, brushing down her clothes and combing a finger through her hair.

You all reach the bottom of the staircase and playfully punch Luke in the shoulder, “Looks like she fell for you.”

To your surprise, Luke doesn’t respond to your terrible joke. He just scowls and shakes his head, moving toward the back door. You blink at him and follow.

“C’mon, really? Nothing?” you ask as he pushes the door open, “No ‘I thought you were better than corny puns?’”

“Let’s just get this over with,” Luke murmurs, stalking through the backyard and toward the tree house.

“Is he going to be okay?” Hermione asks beside you, watching him with concern in her eyes.

You chew your bottom lip nervously, “I–I don’t know…”

The tree house is actually a lot safer than it looks, which is oddly ironic since Fred and George give no consideration to safety whatsoever.

Thick planks of wood are nailed to a gap in the large tree as though they are sitting in its palm, branches stretching like fingers around it. There is a wooden railing that surrounds the platform, fairy lights intertwined around it. Alternative pop music plays on low, the sound prevented from leaving the treehouse by the silencing charm Fred had cast, containing it in a bubble of sorts. There are light bulbs, all different shapes and sizes, strung together and hanging from the branches overhead that act as a roof. Right in the centre of the ‘roof’ is a large hole that brags a beautiful view of the midnight sky, freckled with stars.

It’s actually kind of beautiful. Serene, almost.

You down the rest of the drink and raise your chin to the stars, lost in their beauty. You can almost feel the stardust raining down on you, sinking into your skin, filling you up with a beautiful, ethereal light, like there is an entire galaxy bursting to life inside of you. You’re not sure if it’s the fire whiskey humming in your veins or not but you feel like you could just step off the balcony of the treehouse and float away.

“Beautiful, aren’t they?” a familiar voice says from beside you, and you turn to find George Weasley gazing up at the stars with you, an expression of awe painted across his face, “Do you know who else is beautiful?”

“Please, don’t finish that sentence and ruin this beautiful moment,” you murmur and George snorts.

“You don’t like hearing compliments about yourself?”

“I don’t like cheesy pickup lines.”

George shrugs, “That’s fair. Though I was going to say that I was beautiful but never mind.”

You chortle, shaking your head and grinning broadly at him. He echoes it, lips curving into a grin you may never get tired of seeing, “You really know how to cheer a girl up, don’t you?”

“Only the ones I like,” George smiles softly, softer than anything you’ve ever seen him wear.

“Well, I’m grateful anyhow.”

George drapes an arm over your shoulders and pulls you to his side protectively, provoking a laugh to burst boisterously from your lips.

“So, are you and Cedric…?”

You flush, cheeks burning, “I–I don’t really know…”

“Well, just so you know, he talks about you a lot,” George says, “Our friend, Juniper Cross. You know Juniper?” You nod, recalling the beautiful Hufflepuff in George’s year, “Anyway, she says he talks about you like you ‘put the stars in the sky.’ His words, not mine.”

An odd, sort of airy feeling circles around you and floods you like helium, lighter than air, ascending the five layers of the atmospheres and disappearing into the universe.

The moment is broken by Fred, who yanks another bottle of fire whiskey from a crate and holds it over his head.

“Who’s up for a game of ‘Never have I Ever?”

“What’s that?” Hermione asks and Fred blinks at her.

“You’ve never played ‘Never Have I Ever?’” George asks, bewildered, “Hermione, what have you been doing with your life?”

“Never Have I Ever is a classic drinking game,” Luke says, sitting beside Hermione, “Basically, you have to say something that you’ve never done and everyone who has done said thing has to drink. For instance, if I say ‘Never have I ever… snogged a girl from France’–”

“–We would call you a liar,” Fred interjects, and Luke rolls his eyes.

“–Everyone who has snogged a girl from France would have to take a drink.”

“And we would call them liars,” George sniggers and you snort, bumping his fist with your own.

“The person with the most alcohol left in their glass wins,” Luke continues, ignoring the snickering Weasley twins.

“And if you say a ‘Never have I ever’ and no one else has done it either, you have to drink from everyone’s glass,” Fred smirks deviously, and Hermione raises her brows, her fingers finding the hem of her sleeves.

Luke studies her with benevolent eyes, his past frustration melting off his shoulders like ice in the early spring, “If you’re not comfortable, you don’t have to play.”

A gentle shade of soft pink flourishes on the apples of Hermione’s cheeks and her lips quirk into an awkward smile, “No, it’s okay. I’ll play.”

“Are you sure? We’re all friends here, and we want you to be comfortable,” Luke smiles, reassuringly.

Hermione nods, and George claps a brotherly hand on Luke’s shoulder, “Ever the gentleman. If I wasn’t in an exclusive relationship with myself, I would totally date you, man. Like, put out and everything.”

Luke just gives a half-hearted smile and a modest shrug. He looks like such a different person to the Luke you saw earlier that day, seething threats at his own father and brewing in a venomous mood. Even when you met him in the kitchen earlier that night, Luke had seemed guarded and brooding and nothing like the sweet, considerate and boyishly charming man he is with Hermione.

You all sit crossed-leg on the ground in a circle and, with a looming sense of doom, you find yourself sitting between Fred and George, an unsavoury position for anyone to be in. Before you can escape to the other side of the circle, Fred and George begin filling up several glasses and hand them around the group. Fred pauses in front of Ginny, sculling her fire whiskey with a wince and filling her glass with chocolate milk. Ginny folds her arms across her chest, glaring dangerously at her brother.

“No alcohol for anyone under 14,” Fred says, wagging a finger at Ginny, “It rots your brain.”

“Good thing you don’t have one, then,” Ginny grumbles, rolling her eyes and snatching the glass of milk out of her brothers’ hand. Once everyone has their glass, the game begins. Unsurprisingly, George volunteers to go first.

“Never have I ever…met a Norwegian Ridgeback dragon called ‘Norbert’, tried to smuggle Norbert out of Hogwarts but got caught in the process and consequently lost Gryffindor one hundred points,” he says before adding, “Oh, and got sent to detention, too.”

You, Hermione, and Harry exchange guilty glances and take a swig of your drinks. The fiery liquid surges down your throat like molten lava and pools delightfully in your lower belly, the alcohol crackling in your veins.

“Technically, I wasn’t there when they tried to smuggle Norbert out,” Ron argues, raising his arm to reveal the thin scar knitted into his skin, “Norbert bit me, so I was in the Hospital wing.”

“You still met him,” George points out and Ron’s confident expression falls, grumbling as he takes a sip from his cup.

“Alright, Harry, you’re up next,” Fred grins, pointing at Harry with his glass.

Harry’s brows furrow as he thinks, the tip of his tongue poking out between the soft cushions of his lips. Once again, Harry seems so…relaxed. Perhaps it’s the alcohol, or the company, or both, but it’s a relief to see him so unguarded and it shows in how easily he’s smiling, how warm and inviting his gaze is. And when he catches your eye, his lips quirk up into a small smile and it feels…nostalgic.

It feels like it used to.

“Never have I ever…been kicked out of a bar?”

Fred and George groan in unison and take a swig of their drinks. To everyone’s surprise, Ginny does, too. While the rest of the group gapes at Ginny, their jaws slack and eyes wide in disbelief, Ginny gives a nonchalant shrug, her eyes glistening in the low light as she recalls the moment.

“I may or may not have hexed a certain, misogynistic Ravenclaw who was getting on my nerves,” she gives a sharp, cat-like smirk, resembling her rebellious, older brothers “I don’t regret anything.”

Fred and George pretend to sob tears of pride as they slap Ginny on the back, “Look at how far our precious, little sister has come. We taught you well.”

The game moves around the circle, jokes and laughter thick in the summer air as your drinks slowly begin to dwindle.

When it finally reaches Fred, he flashes a scheming grin, and he raises a confident brow, “Never have I ever…had a crush on Cedric Diggory…”

Everyone narrows their eyes on you expectantly. You sigh, rolling your eyes as Fred sniggers devilishly.

“Fuck you, Fred!” you snip, throwing the rest of your drink back. Your head spins in languid circles as try not to splutter, and in the warm ambience of the room, your eyes find Harry’s; gazes colliding for a long, lingering moment. Harry doesn’t shy away, in fact, he’s the boldest you’ve seen him since the World Cup, and something hooks around your lower belly, yanking it up into your throat.

“Okay, (Y/N), your turn,” Fred juts his chin at your glass and eyes you hopefully. You heave a sigh.

“Alright. Um…” you pause thoughtfully, and then your lips pull into a grin when you catch Ginny’s eyes, “Never have I ever…had a crush on someone in this room.”

Fred and George stare at Ginny and she sighs, taking a swig of her chocolate milk. She pokes her tongue out at you playfully and you give her an apologetic look. She shrugs nonchalantly, though she doesn’t seem entirely bothered. Strange, you think, she must be getting over Harry. You never really anticipated that.

You never anticipated Hermione and Harry taking a nervous sip from their drinks, either.

“Woah,” George says, eyes flitting between the two of them, “What’s going on here?”

They seem hesitant in their answer, weighing their options, gauging each other for a response like they’re dancing tentatively around the subject. You and Ron exchange a surprised look, the tips of Ron’s ears an odd shade of red. Something tight and nasty coils inside of you like a sleeping snake.

Hermione and Harry exchange a look, and Harry shrugs “Nothing. We’re just answering the question.”

You blink at Harry, then at Hermione. They seem to be avoiding your gaze, eyes darting around the room like they’re trying to pull excuses from the air around them. Is that what all the secrecy is about? Are they…?

“So you both have had a crush on someone in this room?”

“Er…” Harry flicks a glance at Hermione and then sweeps his gaze to you before hastily averting your gawking stare, “…yes? Why?”

“Huh,” Fred shrugs, “No reason.”

Hermione frowns, “What? It’s not like we like each other.”

“Whatever you say, Hermione.”

Hermione’s mouth twists into a thin frown and Harry furrows his brows at Fred’s blatant, off-handed remark. Tension has steeled his spine like an iron rod and he fidgets uncomfortably, his nervous mannerisms unspooling as time seems to drag by. The sepia-stained nostalgia that you had so willingly embraced begins to crumble the more he glances between Hermione and Ron, and the needlepoint sting of hurt pricks the inside of your wrist.

“Um, I think it’s your turn, George,” Ron says, quickly, nervously glancing at Harry. Does Ron know something–?

George nods importantly and continues the game, but you’re still rooted in time. As everyone else takes their turn, your eyes continue to stray to Harry, studying, observing, realising, that this is so much more than his scar. His cheeks are rosy, flushed pink from the alcohol and embarrassment, his eyes a startling shade of green against the sun-kissed skin of his face and the electric shock of dishevelled, black hair and as you study him, your head begins to spin.

You take a long swig of your drink, gulping back your anxiety, wishing that you had trusted your gut in the first place.

***

Somehow, you make it back to your room without making a complete fool of yourself.

Hermione’s avoided you for most of the night, though you can tell that she’s nervous by the way she chews her bottom lip; it’s red and raw, the moon-crescent bite marks curved into the delicate skin of her lower lip. You want to talk to her, to ask about the secrecy, but your head feels like it’s been stuffed with cotton and your eyes are like heavy golf balls stuck into your skull and you really just want to sleep–

You pull your camisole over the top of your head and rip your bra off, an envelope falling out from its grasp.

“Oh,” you say, to no one in particular, “My letter.”

Between the visit from your dad and the Weasley’s drinking game, you had completely forgotten about it. Bending down, you scoop it off the ground and study the envelope. Your name and address are writing in elegant curlicue cursive to the point where it’s nearly unreadable. You squint, following the loops and curls, and turn the envelope over. No return address. Odd. You open it anyway, unfold the letter…

And gasp.

It doesn’t make sense.

Your stomach is twisted into a tight, thick knot, heavy in your abdomen, weighing like an anchor plummeting to the ocean floor. Ice gushes through the deltas of your veins as though it were blood pulsing through the arteries of a cold-blooded monster, freezing your spine, paralysing you.

You can’t tear your eyes away.

You stare down at a photo of you and Cedric at the World Cup, stained in shades of black and grey, frozen in time, smiles fixed onto your faces. And it would have been a beautiful photo, it really had, if it weren’t for the blood-red insignia scarring the back of the photo; a snake eating itself, circling around what looks like a cross between a Scarab and a skull moth.

And, beneath it, eight words strung together, bleeding into the paper like a wound.

Mus uni non habeat fiduciam autem serpens esuriit

A mouse does not trust a hungry snake

Suddenly, you wish you were drunk again.

@marauderskeeper @weaselby418 @acciorinn @hervench @harrvjpotter @depressed-octopods-art (i’m sorry i didn’t tage you before!! i just realised you replied to one of the posts!) @romanofftasha @moonpeachs

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clm3mc · 3 years ago

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Rhythm No. 37 - September 13th

Pick my favorite person from the Bible and write two paragraphs about them making coffee.

The sun rises and Martha senses the light behind her tired eyelids. Time to wake up...another day is upon you.

She opens her eyes and immediately wants to close them again. The sun is blaring through her window...why can't the sky let her sleep in just once?

She sits up, stretches and places her feet in her slippers. She keeps her house as tidy as she can but still has a hard time putting her bare feet on the stone floor.

She looks up, smiles, and gives thanks for another morning. "Lord, you go before me and behind me. You give me purpose and strength for the day to day. Help me be an example of your love to those around me. Amen."

Her mind shifts to the motivation to get her out of bed = coffee.

She heads to her door and out to her fire pit where she immediately starts building up her daily burn. Her wood is stacked neatly and her hands nimbly light the small kindling and the carefully constructed pile begins to burn steadily.

She makes her way into her small kitchen, grabs the canister with the beans she bought from her favorite seller in the market last week. She takes a moment to smell the beans...one of the few sweet moments she gets to just enjoy these days. She places a large handful into her mortar and pestle and starts grinding them down; taking her time with each circular motion to make sure the grind is as fine as possible.

She makes her way back outside, grabs her metal grate and places it tenderly over her happily burning fire. She places her kettle of fresh water on the grate and lets it get to boiling.

She remembers how many times she watched her mother go through this same process, morning after morning. When she was young, she never understood why her mother needed 'her morning fix' when Martha and her sister had energy to burn all through the daylight hours. Now, in womanhood, she can't get through the first hours of morning without the fix herself.

The kettle starts to whistle, and she pulls it off the grate with her cloth heat protector wrapped gingerly around the handle. She places it on her counter next to her ground beans. She grabs the clay mug that she has her coffee in each morning - a piece that her mother had given her. She gently pours the grounds into her thin parchment paper filter and then, placing the filter over the mug, poured the hot water through the grounds.

The steam met her face and the beautiful aroma brought such joy to her lips. Yes. With this and her God, she could face anything the day brought to her.

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luxvitae · 7 years ago

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Your Everything | Taehyung

⇢1.8k

⇢His mind, body, and soul. These were the things you loved about Kim Taehyung

happy birthday to the light of my life

��Mind

Art usually came easy to you. You never had a problem with creativity before, you always had a lot of it. That is until artist block had hit you like a freight train and you were stuck on your senior project with a paintbrush full of purple ink and a blank canvas.

“Hey you,” a deep and familiar voice sounded as the door of the studio opened to reveal Kim Taehyung, resident man child who doubles as your best friend and boyfriend.

“Hey,” you strained, smiling tiredly as you watch him walk over to you and drop a short kiss on top of your head.

Looking at the blank canvas in front of you, Taehyung makes a face of confused pride. “It’s looking…..good babe. I think you missed a spot though.”

“Oh shut up,” you groaned, leaning back on your stool so you were leaning on his stomach. “I have lost all motivation. And my creative river has run dry. I’m washed up at 23.”

Shifting his body around so he stood next to you, he moved your head so it was leaning against his side instead while he rubbed your back and played with your hair in reassuring and and firm touches.

“What’s the prompt?,” he asked, tilting his head to the side to look down at you.

“Childlike wonder,” you said, the two words burning holes in your brain from all the times you stared at the stupid slip of paper that was causing your demise.

Taehyung thought for a little bit before pulling up a stool for himself so he sat next to you, hip to hip. “Don’t you ever wonder why people sleep with their eyes closed? Or ever get fascinated not by the first birthday candle, but the second one? What about how peanut butter and applesauce are liquid forms of something solid? Or why there isn’t a grape flavored gummy bear?,” Taehyung rattled off, looking back at you and smiling his beautiful, full smile.

“Childlike wonder isn’t childlike at all,” he said slowly, bringing the paintbrush in your hand up with his own, “It’s the unbothered curiosity not tainted by age.”

“So let go,” he whispered, drawing his hand back from your own, leaving the paintbrush of purple to rest suspended in the air. “You’re not washed up at 23 love, you’ve just forgotten what it’s like being untroubled by the hurdles of adulthood.”

Pecking your forehead once more, Taehyung left you to simmer in your own thoughts in the empty space of the art studio. It wasn’t until a week later, after your finished your piece, that you realize the way Taehyung thought, the way he navigated through the neurons in the brain to create abstract ideas and impressions, was what inspired your piece to come alive.

Taehyung and his beautiful mind.

⋙Body

“T-Tae I d..don’t,” you gasped against his intrusive lips and the harsh grind of his hips against yours.

“Shh baby,” he whispered against your neck, lips traveling further and further down until he was nipping at your collarbones, pulling your shirt down in the slightest, dropping wet kisses all over your chest. “You’re safe with me. I promise.”

Picking you up in his arms, your arms come up to lock around his neck instinctively. Playing with his hair at his nape, you pulled at the strands hotly so his lips detached from your skin and his head lolled backwards.

“I trust you,” you whispered as your foreheads leaned against each other’s before smashing your lips against his again. This time wasn’t like any other kiss; it wasn’t innocent or playful or sweet. It was harsh and needy, but meaningful all the same.

“Should I fuck you against the wall or the sheets?,”his husky voice asked, a sense of teasing in his tone so you just rolled your eyes.

“Why don’t you worry about fucking me in general first,” you played along, voice sultry against his harsh tone as one hand traveled down his chest in a slow, feather like touch.

“Oh baby,” he growled, pushing off the wall and navigating his way around the apartment without taking his eyes off of you, “I don’t need to worry about that.”

Once he reached the bedroom, your mind went blank as he softly laid you on the sheets, a totally different demeanor from what he showed you in the living room. Supporting his weight on his hands with his legs between yours, the kisses turned slow and steady, hands exploring the expanse of your still clothed body. As he started to roll your shirt up to reveal your stomach, you expertly flipped the two of you over before straddling his hips.

“Y/n-”

“Shh baby,” you quoted from him, “Let me take care of you first.”

With that, you shimmy your way down, slowly unbuttoning his shirt, kissing the new skin being exposed after each button. Taehyung was always rushing to please you first, but not today.

“I love you,” you whispered into his ear before kissing down his neck to his stomach.

“I love your stomach that clenches in laughter when I tell a joke that no one else thought was funny but you,” you said, kissing around his belly before going back up to his arms. As you journeyed around his body, Taehyung’s eyes never left your face, eyes getting darker and darker.

“I love your strong arms that hold me in times of distress and in times of joy, the arms that never let me go even if I say I want you to. I love your hands that hold mine, guiding me in all the right directions with you,” you said, slipping his fingers into your mouth so you could suck on them causing Taehyung to groan under you.

Popping them out, you ventured down, undoing his belt buckle and his pants for you to be face to face with his growing bulge. You begin to rub at it, causing friction from the scratchy fabric of his boxers, feeling his dick harden under your touch with every second going by.

“I love your legs that support you because they allow you to support me as well,” you continued even past his whining and moaning, putting his hands over yours to make sure you didn’t stop.

“I love you feet that walk next to mine,” you breathe out before Taehyung is flipping the both of you again, and this time you didn’t mind. He hurriedly gets rid of your shirt and shorts along with his jeans and underwear. “Because we’re in this together.”

“I love your back,” you gasp as he goes down on you, licking you through your underwear, causing your hands to fly to his hair, pushing and pulling at the strands. “I l-love your back because it has never t-turned, oh god, it’s never turned on me.”

Before you knew it, all three of his fingers that you sucked on were pushing into you, making your head fall back in ecstasy, moaning out in pleasure. But you weren’t done yet.

“I-I love your chest,” you managed to say as Taehyung came back up to drop a kiss to your lips.

“What about it baby?,” he asked, lining up his cock with your entrance before pushing in, slowly, then all at once.

“Oh god Taehyung,” you moaned out, arching your back from how good the stretch felt and how well he filled you up.

“What about my chest baby?,” he prodded at you, allowing for you to get a grip on your thoughts until he started to shallowly pulse against you.

“I love your chest,” you breathed, hands going against the muscle to feel his rapid pulse against your fingertips, “Because it holds your heart. And that heart allowed you to love me.”

⋙Soul

You start to think you saw it at the puppy shelter you and Taehyung volunteered at last month. Then, again, you think you saw it in the way he looked at the fans during the fan signs, cheering them on and giving them words of advice. But you definitely saw it when you visited his hometown with him.

“Eonjin! Jeonggyu!,” he screamed in excitement as he walked through the doors to see his little siblings already waiting there for him.

The two of them tackled him to the ground, you found a smile already on your lips from the laughter ripping through the small but cozy home, brightening the already lit walls. You watched as your boyfriend ruffled their hair and picked both of them up, carrying them into the kitchen where his mom and dad were still in the process of cooking.

“Taehyung!,” his mom said in surprise, dropping the plate she was holding up and wiping her hands on her apron to gather her son in her arms for the first time in a while.

“Hey mom,” he smiled, eyes watering just a little bit, but not enough to fall. After greeting everyone including his dad and little cousins, he grabs your hand and pulls you forward, introducing you and showing you off to everyone that gathered to see him come home.

“Uncle Tae, did you bring us anything like last time?,” a little girl that you remember as Taehyung’s niece asks, cheeks ablaze from how candid she realized her question was out loud.

“As a matter of fact,” he said thoughtfully before picking up the little girl and swinging her around, her high pitched laughter bouncing off the walls, “I did.”

Asking you to come with him, you follow him to the car trunk to reveal two big bags full of little gifts and trinkets. Leave it to Kim Taehyung to spend his money on everyone else.

“Love, aren’t you tired?,” you asked softly, taking on bag into your arms. You were convinced your boyfriend was an angel as he got off a 15 hour flight from Chicago to Korea, went straight to his dorm to pack, drove to pick you up, then embarked on a two hour drive to Daegu (which he refused to let you behind the wheel), then entertained his siblings, helped his parents in the kitchen, and still had enough energy to entertain everyone else.

“Yeah. Exhausted actually,” he laughed, “But these people, my family, I haven’t seen them in what’s felt like forever. I don’t wanna miss a single second of my time with them.”

You first witnessed it when the two of you went to an outreach program in June, the way his eyes would soften around the edges and his smiles came more naturally. You thought you were sure when he attended his first actual college lecture after all those years of online schooling, the excited demeanor to learn. But you weren’t sure. It was only until this moment, right now, as he set down the bags in the middle of the room and cheered along with the little kids while acting like Santa and calling out their names to give them their gifts, were you sure that you’ve seen it. Understood it, even.

Kim Taehyung and his beautiful soul.

In light of my love’s birthday, I did a thing :)

-M♡

#bcgnet #kimtaenet #taehyung scenarios #taehyung imagine #taehyung day #happy birthday my love #v scenarios #v imagine #bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts #bangtan #luxwriting

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morestretchingrequired · 7 years ago

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CW: Bipolar, depression, mental health, etc

Despite some movement on the job hunt over the last couple of days, for the most part, it still feels like I've saddled up a glacier and getting frustrated when it doesn't move at a gallop. Rationally I know these things take time, and that every day is a day closer to being employed again. By my emotions and energy tend to override such reasonable, rational thinking, and drive my motivation for everything from continuing the search to working on my 30-day project to writing right into the mud.

I know there's no 'getting over it'. This is a part of who I am. I need to deal with it, roll with it, find ways to cope and get past moments like this so I can keep moving forward.

I don't know what others' experience with this sort of thing is like. For me, it's like some sort of eldritch abomination keeps whispering in my ear.

"You're too old. You're unemployable in this field. You don't know enough about new frameworks."

"You're not writing because you know you don't write female-bodied people well enough for a female-bodied audience."

"People you love have abandoned you because it was convenient for them, or yielded them social or political rewards that mattered more to them than you did. It's only a matter of time before the rest of your loved ones abandon you, too."

Again, rationally, I know that's a bunch of bullshit. But today is a day in which I struggle to ignore that voice and just plow forward with the things I want to do, need to do, to survive.

I can't invest anything other than time in the art and entertainment I enjoy. I simply do not have the money. People in my life streak past me with shiny new stuff and I just kind of plug away and shrug my shoulders and smile and I know it doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things, but it feels as if it grinds me down just a little bit more.

There are just too many other things that I seriously need. My car needs new spark plugs and is overdue for an oil change. I need to get more caught up with child support. Food stamps are a huge help, but they don't cover paper products, cleaning supplies, clothes, or copy or scanning services. Even job applications like selling books at Barnes & Noble go nowhere. I'm about at the point where I should just find a gas station to work at or something. Miserable as I'd be, it can't be worse than this, right?

I need to feed William Snakespeare more often, too. Last thing I need is to think that a certain someone who will remain nameless was right when they accused me of being a terrible pet parent.

Normally, I'm a lot better at handling this. I grit my teeth, I drop my shoulder, and I charge into the day ahead to get some shit done and exhaust myself to the point of sleeping, hoping I won't have bad dreams and I'll wake up feeling better. Today I just can't get anywhere. I'm just completely out of steam and out of cash and out of gas and out of fucks to give.

I just don't know what else to do or whom else to turn to. My partner's being as supportive as possible. My parents, too. I know my friends care, but they have troubles and head weasels of their own. It feels irrational to think that they don't want to hear what's on my mind or in my heart, like I'd somehow be acting selfish in expressing these things in person.

As opposed to on a platform that's proving increasingly toxic and problematic. Seriously: fuck you, Zuckerberg.

Not sure what else to say. I should make myself some food. At the very least, getting some protein into this carcass might recharge my batteries just enough to read some technical documentation that'll make me more attractive to those with the power to hire.

One can hope. And some days, all I've got is hope.

#depression #bipolar disorder #mental illness #mental health #hope

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skybournerp · 7 years ago

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Congratulations Meri, and welcome to Skybourne University! You’ve been accepted as your desired character Emma Soren. We really enjoyed how you portrayed Emma in her day to day life and her desire to protect others. Be sure to set up your main account within 24 hours and sent it to us with the ask box open so we can send you a link to the OOC blog. Also be sure to do everything on the new member checklist.

Nickname: Meri

Timezone: EST

Age: 20

Pronouns: She/Her

Contact: removed

Password: removed

How did you find us?: the LSRP tag I believe.

Do you have any triggers that need tagged?: removed

Character name:Emma Soren

Hero name: Undecided

Secondary choice: Leah Johnson, Alex Correa

Why this character?: I was really drawn to the characters story. I was interested by how her parents died and how she felt responsible for it, but then as a result using it as a motivation to protect others!

Headcanons:

Emma’s favorite superhero movie is The Incredibles

Emma is skittish around cars, and prefers to drive herself places, if at all. The accident was traumatic, and there’s some emotional and mental scarring left over from it. She doesn’t like to talk about it much.

She isn’t the best liar and therefore has some trouble hiding things.

Writes poetry, but it’s more of a hobby to relax, more than anything else (at least, that’s what she tells herself. Besides, she’s a perfectionist—and none of her poems, to her, are perfect). She loves the Thursdays at the Daily Grind because of the beat poetry night—she always offers to cover those shifts.

Emma lives in Juniper Hall

Sample:

Emma wanted to go home. There was a paper to write, and a bed calling her name. She could practically hear “Emma” being softly whispered in the wind, and she wanted nothing more than to clock out, walk home, and sink under her blue comforter and ignore the psychology paper she had to write.

“Emma?”

At least for now. It was on a subject she did think was fascinating. After all, that was the reason she chose psychology as a major in the first place.

“Emma!”

She jumped, eyes widened as she whipped around. “Uh—” Emma’s voice was caught in the back of her throat as her other employee stared at her.

“You were staring off into space again! Yeesh, I was trying to tell you your shift is over!” She laughed, and soon Emma joined in, awkwardly rubbing the back of her neck.

“Soooooorry!!” The rising to her cheeks meant her face was probably turning beat red. Whoops. Way to completely embarrass yourself, Em. Ten points. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay and help close up?”

“Nah, I’ll be fine. No need to worry!” Her coworker waved her off, making a ‘shoo’ing motion with her hand. I’ll see you tomorrow! Thanks!” Emma waved, and hurried to clock out as she fumbled to untie her apron. It wasn’t that her job was bad, she really liked it. Usually is was all hustle and bustle, but she gave a guess that since it was Thanksgiving week, it was bound to be slow. And slow meant it was boring.

Emma glanced at her phone, grinning when she saw a text from her grandma. Grandma learning to use her new smartphone had been a fun way to spend Thanksgiving, and now she had sent her multiple turkey emojis. That was cute—probably her way of telling her to enjoy the leftovers. She should call them—her Grandparents did like it when she called, even if they did worry far too often. She set the reminder in her phone.

She shuffled her bag over her shoulder, and stuck a headphone in her ear. The sun was going down and she was looking forward getting back to Juniper to take a nap and start her homework. Then practice all things she was definitely going to say to Nekai Teton at the next student government meeting. And Emma was actually going to do it this time so Leah wouldn’t have to give her any crap, and she wouldn’t have to feel like a total ne—

“Look out!”

Emma panicked. She had been crossing paths with another student when she heard the voice call out. They both whipped around, and Emma immediately felt the familiar sensation of energy leave her fingertips, protectively surrounding the two. What could hurt them on campus?!

Whap!

A football banged off the surface of her forcefield, lightly bouncing into the grass.

Emma snorted, the forcefield falling away.

A football. There wasn’t many people to save on a campus full of superheroes, was there? Emma laughed, waving to the student she ‘saved’. It was time for her to go take her nap.

#accepted application #skybourne:accepted

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lockcup5-blog · 5 years ago

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The Linc - Eagles listed among teams that could potentially trade for Jadeveon Clowney

Let’s get to the Philadelphia Eagles links ...

Five potential trade partners for the Texans if they move Jadeveon Clowney - The Athletic The chances that the Eagles will land Clowney are very low, but they’re not zero. The big issue that the Eagles — and many other teams — face would be finding the money to sign Clowney to a lucrative extension. That’s an especially tall task in Philadelphia, where the team is going to be building around a high-priced quarterback pretty soon in Carson Wentz. That said, Howie Roseman is not afraid to take big swings. And he views the defensive line as a premium position. Clowney would be a disruptive player who could line up in multiple spots in the Eagles’ scheme. That he’s only 26 has to be appealing to Roseman. A core up front of Fletcher Cox, Derek Barnett and Clowney would create issues for opposing offenses for years to come. If this were a year or two ago, and the Eagles had Wentz on his rookie contract, I could see Roseman making an aggressive push for Clowney. Now? The Eagles will likely kick around the idea internally and might even call. But given what it will take in terms of draft pick compensation and financial commitment, a deal seems highly unlikely. — Sheil Kapadia

The Mack Hollins mystery - BGN Hopefully we’ll see Hollins back out on the field sooner than later. If he can build on the potential he showed as a rookie, I think he can be a solid contributor for this team. It’s just hard to tell how realistic that is at this point. Even if Hollins does return soon, it’s fair to wonder how much his absence has stunted the 25-year-old’s development. (Not to mention going from No. 10 to No. 16 is a bad sign in terms of #JerseyNumberAnalytics.)

Organized Team Activities Progress Report - BGN Radio Michael Kist and Brandon Lee Gowton go over all the happenings from the Eagles’ Organized Team Activities! Wentz, Goedert, a new starter at RG(?), the defensive back configuration and much much more all discussed on this loaded show! Presented by SB Nation and Bleeding Green Nation.

Wentz Lives! - Iggles Blitz It is good to hear Rasul Douglas carried over the momentum from January to the OTAs. He finished the season strong. It sounds like he is ready to really compete for playing time. Interesting that Avonte Maddox was at CB. The Eagles need to find a home for him and let him develop. Maddox is a talented player. You want him on the field.

Carson Wentz brings energy to Eagles practice, along with hope that history won’t repeat itself - CBS Sports Wentz looked spry and agile as he booted out to his right and delivered powerful passes to the sideline off his signature hop-step. He unleashed some perfect deep fades in one-on-one will drills. Things were not nearly as smooth in seven-on-seven and full team drills – “X’s and O’s-wise, things weren’t perfect,” he conceded – though that’s not what this return was really about. This was about just being able to do the same things that all of his healthy teammates could, with no restrictions.

Eagles rookie JJ Arcega-Whiteside and his guardian angels - ESPN When the camera cut to Stanford Cardinal wide receiver JJ Arcega-Whiteside during the 2019 NFL draft, he was sitting on the couch hip-to-hip with his mother, Valorie, in their South Carolina home, friends and family all around them. Valorie intended to burst off the couch and break into a celebratory dance when her boy was selected. But when the call came from the Philadelphia Eagles in the second round that Friday night in April, JJ unexpectedly broke down -- so his mom did, too. ”There’s been a few times I’ve seen JJ cry. That was when my mom died, when I found out I had cancer, and one other time -- he had a little brother that passed during childbirth,” Valorie said. “That’s the three times in my life that I have seen him cry. So when he got emotional and cried, my happy celebration turned ... I just went from laughing and screaming to crying right there with him. ”It was a feeling of so many emotions all at once. How can you be happy and crying and ecstatic and nostalgic and all of these things all at the same time? That’s what it was like, just a big kaleidoscope of emotions.”

Fired-up Tim Jernigan brimming with confidence, motivation and swagger - NBCSP “You gotta listen to what I just said,” Jernigan said, pointing out how obvious it was to him. “It speaks for itself, bro. You’ll see the difference in September then. Ask any coach in here, ask any player in here, what Timmy Jernigan look like? I ain’t gotta brag on myself, I ain’t gotta talk on myself. Ask them. I ain’t gotta say one word. It’s on.” Even when he’s getting ticked off by questions, there’s just something about Jernigan’s energy, his swagger, that separates him. It’s something the Eagles feel when they’re on the field too. It’s why late last season, defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz stressed how important Jernigan was to the spirit of their defense.

While cast in Aaron Donald’s shadow, Fletcher Cox will go down as one of the best to ever do it - PFF Among the 125 interior defensive linemen with 500 or more pass-rush snaps since 2015, Donald ranks first in pass-rush grade (95.9), total pressures (375) and pass-rush win percentage (22.1%). Cox ranks second behind Donald in all three metrics. And the trend continues, as Donald led all at his position in pass-rush grade in each of the past four seasons (2015-18). Cox ranked second two of the years (2017 & 2018) and third in another (2015). The five best single-season pass-rush win rates in the PFF era (2006-18) all belong to Donald and Cox. Donald owns the three best (2016, 2017 &2018) and the fifth-best (2015), while Cox owns the fourth-best (2018).

In Year 2, Dallas Goedert is poised for a season to remember - PE.com “You have to get used to the speed of things, for sure,” Goedert said. “It takes some time. As soon as you get here, you’re on the move. It’s tough to catch up sometimes. But if you keep your head down and keep grinding, understanding that it’s your job now, things slow down. I feel like it’s all slowed down for me. I can go out there and just play football and not think. That makes me a better football player. I’m pretty happy with where I’m at, continuing to work, continuing to enjoy this.”

Eagles tight end Zach Ertz ready to build on his record-breaking season - Daily News “On paper, we’ve got an explosive, explosive offense,’’ Ertz said Tuesday after the Eagles finished the first of their 10 spring OTA practice sessions at the NovaCare Complex. “We just have to fine-tune everything and be on point. ”Bringing in a guy like Jordan Howard is going to help us immensely. A guy that you can give the ball to behind five really good offensive linemen and say, ‘Go to work.’ “And DeSean coming back is going to be big for us. He’s just so fast. The first play of the Tampa Bay game last year, he goes 70 yards [for a touchdown] on us. We haven’t had that since he left, honestly. [Jeremy] Maclin had it a little bit. But D-Jac is just another animal.’’ The addition of Jackson is intriguing in two respects. He not only gives quarterback Carson Wentz the most dangerous vertical threat he’s ever had, but Jackson’s speed also should open things up underneath for Ertz and the Eagles’ other two tight ends, Dallas Goedert and Richard Rodgers.

Mike Freeman’s 10-Point Stance: Russell Wilson Is Exactly What the NFL Needs Now - B/R Philadelphia defensive lineman Chris Long retired this past week. Though he’ll be remembered as a talented player who helped the Eagles win their first Super Bowl, his impact has gone far beyond the field. When Colin Kaepernick started taking a knee to protest social justice issues, it set off a chain of events that impacted the sport, and society, forever. One of the more striking aspects of the protests, even after Kaepernick was no longer on the field, was the small number of white players who joined their teammates. Long proudly joined those players voicing their concerns over social injustice. He also funded scholarships in his hometown of Charlottesville, Virginia, in hopes of promoting educational equity and opportunity. I cannot emphasize enough how much a number of black players appreciated Long’s actions. Long will be missed. Not just for his good play but also for what he meant to black players during one of the most important times in league history.

Brandon Lee Gowton Talks Eagles - 94WIP From Bleeding Green Nation, Brandon Lee Gowton calls in to talk Eagles’ OTAs and Carson Wentz.

Falcons DE Steven Means will miss 2019 season with torn Achilles - The Falcoholic It’s hard, hard news for Means, a journeyman who found a home in Atlanta and was being primed for a bigger role in the team’s defensive end rotation. He signed a one-year extension in February and was one of the team’s only moves at the position this offseason. The move puts Atlanta in a bit of a bind. Means projected to be a key player in the team’s base defense, a role he grew into in 2018. Right now, the Falcons don’t have ton of depth at the position, and his loss puts the onus on rookie edge John Cominsky to play a bigger role in the rotation. Cominsky came into the University of Charleston as a quarterback, and needs development as an NFL defensive end.

Looks like things are on track for Cowboys to make Ezekiel Elliott highest-paid RB in NFL history - Blogging The Boys Pelissero notes that Elliott’s camp and the Cowboys have been in communication despite ongoing contract talks between the team and representatives for Prescott and Cooper. He also mentions that it seems like everyone involved feels that Zeke will soon be the highest-paid running back in NFL history. Read it again. The highest-paid running back in NFL history. Of course, the barometer for running back salary in the NFL is Todd Gurley of the Los Angeles Rams. He got his long-term extension after his third year (that’s where Zeke is now) last offseason, a huge contract to the tune of four years for $60M. [BLG Note: Good luck, Dallas.]

The 2019 NFL Contract-Year All-Stars - The Ringer Players like Bobby Wagner, Michael Thomas, Dak Prescott, and A.J. Green have contract negotiations on the horizon. If they go into the season on the last year of their deals, their performances could make or break their bank account next offseason.

Why I’m glad the NFL didn’t change its ‘unfair’ overtime system - SB Nation Retired NFL lineman Geoff Schwartz gives his thoughts about the current OT system, the potential PI replay tweaks, and the elimination of certain drills.

...

Social Media Information:

BGN Facebook Page: Click here to like our page

BGN Twitter: Follow @BleedingGreen

BGN Manager: Brandon Lee Gowton: Follow @BrandonGowton

BGN Radio Twitter: Follow @BGN_Radio

Source: https://www.bleedinggreennation.com/2019/5/23/18636908/eagles-news-philadelphia-teams-could-potentially-trade-jadeveon-clowney-nfl-rumors-texans-pass-rush

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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spreadplaylist · 8 years ago

Conversation

SPREAD CH.2 ARTIST SPOTLIGHT - Taylor Jamison

Hi SPREAD listeners! I hope everyone has been having a meaningful Pride month while enjoying the PRIDE playlist! The featured artist off SPREAD CH. 2 is dear friend of mine and a force to be reckoned with. Get a glimpse below of Taylor Jamison's life as an unapologetic songwriter and artist. HERE WE GO!

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Taylor: Hey hey, my name is Taylor Jamison and I’m a songwriter/singer right here in most-of-the-time-sunny Los Angeles! I’m originally from Boulder, CO, but have been living here in LA for a second now, writing for some amazing new artists, and creating some cool tunes under my name as well!

Dan: Hi Taylor! Welcome! I am so glad that u are PRIDE's featured artist. You are a songwriting beast who is constantly on the grind. I'm excited for people to hear about ur career and your thoughts about the industry, so let's get started.

Describe a typical day in the life of a songwriter. What do u enjoy the most about it?

Taylor: I’d say a typical day in the studio with me, at least, is catching up on life with whoever I’m working with, joking around, sharing funny moments of the week, usually someone has a good hook up/sex story as well. My favorite part is that, from these shared moments, a story unfolds itself. I see myself as a “Storyteller for the Ears,” so whether it’s myself singing the song or another artist, I love being able to share a moment/feeling in time through music and watching how people react to it.

Dan: I would say that u just perfectly summed up the reason songwriters do what they do! It's all about the story and the connection. In finding this connection for yourself, describe the place that makes you feel the most inspired creatively.

Taylor: I absolutely LOVE the beach because it’s so many things to me. Gentle, but powerful. Beautiful, with a dark side. Tranquil, yet full of energy. It makes me nostalgic for days passed, while making me think forward into the future. I love going out and laying by myself with a notebook, letting the sound wash over me until the words start falling out of my head onto the paper.

Dan: LA beaches are definitely hard to beat, too! I could use a beach day myself. It's a great way to reset and get those creative juices flowing. After running through all of those emotions we then get to the actual songwriting process. Now you have countless songs to ur name. Out of those, what song of yours are u most proud of? Why?

Taylor: Ooooooo, this is a hard one. I’m gonna have to have a tie on this between, “Down”, and, “The Last Time”. When putting together the production and sound scape of, “Down”, I really wanted to create a sense of longing because that’s essentially what that song is: it’s the complete taking-down of your walls for somebody because you want to fall completely into them, letting yourself be vulnerable so they know just how much you want them. For, “The Last Time”, I decided to keep that song with just piano and vocals because adding production was going to end up making it sound cheesy, and this song has such a powerful sense of nostalgia that I wanted it to almost seem completely empty, just like how you feel sometimes when you think back on someone from your past. Plus, that key change is life (have to toot my own horn on that one lolz), I want more artists to do key changes again!!!

Dan: Girl, key changes are UNDERRATED. When done just right, they can completely change a song for me. The key change in "The Last Time" makes me scream every single time. I think we could see them make a comeback.

Now, just like anyone on this journey, there are numerous high and low points. Tell us about when the music industry has maybe made you feel inadequate. How did u overcome this?

Taylor: Ummmm, the industry can make you feel inadequate on almost a daily basis if you let it, honestly. I’d be lying if I were to say that every day is a walk in the park, cause it’s not: you feel like you're constantly trying to prove to the world that you’re talented, yet it falls on deaf ears. However, I think the cure for those feelings of inadequacy is surrounding yourself with amazing people who are just as creative, driven and positive as you are, but always making sure to be humble. Nobody likes a cocky bitch, ever, lolz.

Dan: You are speaking TRUTH in this interview, girl. Surrounding yourself with positivity is almost the only way to get through those moments of feeling inadequate. And you're right, nobody enjoys being around cockiness, even though there can be a lot of that in this industry.

As you surround yourself with driven and encouraging people, I know that also includes artists u look to for inspiration. Tell us about an artist/songwriter who inspires u. What about their artistry/ability would you like to emulate in your own?

Taylor: To kick it a bit old school, I’m gonna say Elton John because I think he was so groundbreaking and just what was needed in the world to move forward progressively. He was completely unafraid to be flamboyant and unapologetically homosexual in a time that it was still not acceptable in public overall. Plus, with Bernie Taupin on the lyrics and Elton on the melodies, they made some prettyyyyyyyy amazing music that still stands the test of time, if I don’t say so myself.

Dan: Elton is a legend and an icon, especially for what he did for queer visibility in the mainstream. I had to include him as a part of the PRIDE playlist. It would have been a crime not to, honestly.

I have mentioned earlier that u are pretty much on the go all the time, whether it's working on ur own stuff or writing for other artists. In the midst of everything u have going on, how do u manage a busy schedule and stress? How do you recharge when u need to?

Taylor: I actually work WAY better on a busy schedule, so I’m a fan of back to back sessions, all week long! But, when I do need a little break, I love getting out of LA for a sec and visiting places like San Diego, Palm Springs, Santa Barbra and more. I also love having parties with my friends, dancing around, being gay, playing beer pong. Oh, and Tequila. Tequila is always an answer to stress and busy schedules (Silver Tequila only though).

Dan: I think that LA is such an encompassing city that sometimes the only solution to getting a break is getting out. I do the same thing. Also, I did not know u liked playing beer pong! I sense a duel between you and me coming soon...

Looking past u only liking silver tequila (sorry I had to throw some shade), what do u think is the biggest misconception people have about working in this industry?

Taylor: Oh lordy, probably that you can just show up in town and become a super star. Sorry to say it, but being a cocky bitch doesn’t get you very far hahah. The only way you’re becoming an overnight pop star is if mommy and daddy are loaded, or a family member is tied into a label somehow. Gotta put in the work to really earn respect from people, at least in my book.

Dan: There are many, many people that agree with u! This industry easily and quickly exposes true talent and true intention. I love how honest and open u are.

Touching on your openness, how has ur identity influenced or affected your journey as a songwriter and artist?

Taylor: I think being gay totally influences my journey as both a songwriter and as an artist because it’s not, “normal”, per say. It doesn’t fit the cookie cutter mold of what a male pop artist has been for the past 5+ decades, so it’s sometimes difficult for people to want to get behind something still so new and not fully understood. But, even though it sometimes makes the journey harder, I wouldn’t change it for the world because I feel like it brings such a unique and interesting view to songs that straight men, and even women can’t entirely relate to.

Dan: I am holding onto hope that as time continues, more queer artists will be accepted as major label and mainstream like their straight counterparts. I think that progress in this aspect will really be made by people just like u, who are unapologetically themselves. What advice would you give to up and coming LGBTQ+ songwriters and artists?

Taylor: I would emphasize not trying to hide who you are, letting it all fall out, even if it’s hard to do. We’re in a time where LGBTQ kids need role models, people that they can say they want to grow up to be like. Unlike straight men and women, LGBTQ kids have had to feel the need to hide who they are from such a young age so as to “fit in” with normal, American society; now is the time for us to live our lives to the fullest so we can keep paving the road towards the future. (I felt like a motivational speaker there on a soap box lolz.)

Dan: U are dead on. The more LGBTQ artists and musicians that are in the spotlight, the more LGBTQ kids and youth will see that it really is okay to be themselves. We have to watch out for our LGBTQ youth as much as possible because our government doesn't seem to look out for them enough...

I am sure thinking through these questions has made u, in a way, look back on your own journey as an artist and songwriter. So what would you has been the biggest highlight of your career as an artist/songwriter so far?

Taylor: I think one of the coolest moments so far was opening for Bonnie McKee at OC Pride in 2014. Even though I now look back on my outfit and shake my damn head, it was so amazing to meet her in person, definitely one of my songwriting idols!

Dan: Hahaha, that's incredible. How cool that u were able to open for her at a Pride event! She is a songwriting queen. Definitely an idol of mine, too! (For those of you that don't know Bonnie, u can thank her for hits like 'Teenage Dream,' 'California Gurls,' 'Dynamite,' and 'Hold It Against Me.')

Taylor, it's time for my signature question. What artist/album/song have u had on repeat lately?

Taylor: Ok, album for SURE would be Kehlani’s, “Sweet Savage Sexy”: that shit is AMAZING. I’m also digging The 1975, Jon Bellion, Blackbear and Julia Michaels. “Issues”-Julia Michaels, “Do-Re-Mi”-Blackbear, “Escape”-Kehlani, “Bad Liar”-Selena Gomez and “Death Wish”-Terror Jr are definitely the go-to songs on repeat currently!!!

Dan: This list is SO solid. U know Kehlani has a soft spot in my heart. I was so excited to include her on SPREAD CH.2 as well!

Now that we are sadly wrapping up this Artist Spotlight, how can we check out ur music and stay up to date with ur releases/posts? Anything we should especially be on the lookout for?

Taylor: My Insta/Twitter handle is @TaylorJamison77, and you can listen to my shit on Spotify, Apple Music, iHeart Radio and more under Taylor Jamison! Also, you can check out Matthew John’s EP, “Chain Reaction” on all streaming sites as well (I wrote the title track, “Chain Reaction”!). In the next few months I’ll be having some new music come out, as well as some more releases with other artists (follow me on Insta for the most up to date info, as I share mostly on there. Plus, my InstaStory’s are usually pretty fun, from what I’ve heard!)

Dan: I can attest that Taylor is very fun to follow on social media! Everyone PLEASE go check his pages and his music out, and then go give his song '(Never Gonna) Change For You' another listen on PRIDE! Thank u so much for being so real with us, girl. I cannot wait to see ur name in lights one day.

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Thank u for tuning into the second SPREAD Artist Spotlight! Big thanks to Taylor Jamison for serving some tea today and giving us a closer look at his career as a gay singer/songwriter.

I hope u all enjoy the last few days of PRIDE month! I can't believe it's almost over. In just a couple of days a new playlist will be gracing the SPREAD website, and this one is about to be veryyy refreshing... ;)

Cover e v e r y inch!

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ketohc · 6 years ago

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Best Recipes for Making Keto Peanut Butter

We all love and have used peanut butter as a diet-friendly alternative to butter and cream cheese. While you can eat peanut butter on a low-carb, paleo, or a low-calorie diet, many people avoid it on keto because the carbs don’t adjust.

The energy bomb is not a modern invention but date backs to the 14th century. Aztecs of the Mesoamerican culture ground peanuts and used the paste for various reasons and one of them was nutrition. They also used it to relieve a toothache by applying a blob of peanut butter on the tooth.

Marcellus Gilmore Edson takes the credit for the modern-day invention of peanut in 1884. He kept milling roasted peanuts until they developed a liquid-like consistency. Edson patented the recipe and the procedure. The next person to patent his very own process of making peanut butter was John Harvey Kellogg in 1895. He is Kellogg’s founder’s, Will Keith Kellogg, brother.

Both the brothers were health activists and introduced their invention in hospitals because of peanut butter’s easy digestive abilities. Even though peanuts weren’t expensive back then, it was marketed as a healthy food and sold at a costlier rate. The peanut butter was crunchy and had an uneven texture. It was only after 18 years that Dr Ambrose Straub, who worked in Kellogg’s made the first peanut butter machine. The result was a silky, smooth peanut butter, which is exactly like what we consume today. After getting successful results, Straub started his own company. We all know it as Skippy today.

Can You Eat Peanut Butter on Keto?

One serving of peanut butter is a healthy two tablespoons or 32 grams and contains 8 grams of carbs, 7 grams of protein, and 16 grams of fat. It contains 2 grams of dietary fiber and is a rich source of plant protein.

75 percent of the calories come from fat, making it a great snack option for those who are on a ketogenic diet. Also, 2 grams of carbs is fiber, so you are only consuming 6 grams of carbs per serving. On a keto diet, you can consume up to 50 grams of net carbs in a day, so consuming peanut butter as a snack alone or with celery sticks and cucumber, will keep you well within the limit.

Also, peanut and peanut butter are a rich source of Vitamin E, bioactive components like phytosterols and resveratrol, potassium, and magnesium. Those who eat peanut butter on a regular basis tend to consume of a complex to nutrients that aren’t easily available in other dietary sources. A study by Penn State revealed that people who eat peanuts and peanut butter regularly follow higher quality diets compared to those who don’t.

If you are on a standard ketogenic diet and have a few extra carbs to spare by the end of the day, scoop a spoonful of peanut butter and eat it as a treat. If you are close to the limit, avoid eating peanut butter because it will disrupt the ketosis process. On the other hand, if you are on a targeted keto diet or a cyclical keto diet, you have the allowance to consume some extra carbs before and after a workout or on particular days. You can take advantage of the opportunity and add peanut butter to your smoothies or consume it directly.

Since it is dense, people often tend to overindulge, which takes away the keto-friendly characteristic from it. One of the things most people on a keto diet struggle with is the quantity of peanut butter they can consume in a day. There are a lot of factors that influence the amounts.

Most of the peanut butter brands available in the market add hydrogenated fat to their products. These are artificial trans-fat that can cause serious damage to several body organs. It can cause increased low-density lipoprotein levels (also known as bad cholesterol), lower HDL cholesterol (also known as good cholesterol), increased inflammation and free radicals in the body, and a higher risk of cancer and cardiovascular disorders. Read the labels carefully before making the choice. It is best to choose an all organic and natural brand because they don’t add preservatives.

Other factors consider is the type of peanut butter. The crunchy variant has more calories than smooth peanut butter as it contains two grams less saturated fat and two grams more fiber, which makes it heavier. If you are making a smoothie with the peanut butter, you should use the smooth one because it has a uniform consistency. On the other hand, crunchy peanut butter is a better choice when you are consuming it directly.

Coming back to the question, to get the correct amount, the cut level of peanut butter on a tablespoon so that you avoid the extra calories. Two tablespoons make one serving but if you don’t have many carbs left and still crave some peanut butter, you can have one tablespoon. It will contain 3 grams of net carbs, 4 grams of protein, and 8 grams of fat.

Is Peanut Butter High in Carbs?

Peanut butter is not high in carbs and is easy to make a part of your ketogenic diet. If you feel that the brands selling peanut butter still contain too much sugar and preservatives for your liking, you can make peanut butter at home.

If you exercise daily, it gives you a little bit more freedom to consume higher quantities of peanut. However, you should know that the American Dietary Association advises to not consume more than 20 percent of your daily calories from peanut butter. It is a common misconception that peanut butter increases weight, but it is exactly the opposite.

The vegan option contains a lot of fat that makes you feel satiated, so you are less likely to binge eat. A study by Department of Nutrition at Loma Linda University concluded that regularly consuming high amounts of nut helps in decreasing metabolic syndrome. Another study by Harvard School of Public Health mentioned that women who consume nuts are less likely to gain weight compared to women who don’t.

When you consume nuts, it prolongs the release of glucose into the circulatory system. The consistent supply keeps your energy levels up and away from high-carb foods.

What is the Best Peanut Butter for a Keto Diet?

There are several brands that offer low-carb alternatives. Stay away from them because they replace the fat with sugar, which is not something you should consume on a keto diet. The best peanut butter for keto diet is the one that you make at home.

Technology has gifted us with the right kind of equipment to make it. You don’t need a lot of ingredients or much time and attention to make it. Here’s how you can make your very own peanut butter at home.

Roast two cups of peanuts until they look toasty. Keep stirring them every five to 10 minutes. Set them aside to cool down.

Throw the peanuts into the food processor and turn it on. Let the grinding process go on uninterrupted for five minutes. You will see the consistency turn from solid to crumbly to crunchy semi-liquid to a smooth paste. Switch off the processor and use the spatula to take off the peanut butter from the sides. Add a pinch of salt for taste.

You can add a spoonful of honey or sugar, but it is best you avoid it.

Turn on the food processor for another two minutes.

Once you feel that you have achieved the consistency you want, switch off the processor, and transfer it into an airtight glass container. Always store homemade peanut butter in the refrigerator because it doesn’t have any preservatives. The cold temperature will keep the fat from getting rancid. It will stay good for up to two months, so make in quantities that you and your family within the expiry date.

Keto Recipes with Peanut Butter

Peanut butter is very versatile, and you can make it a part of many keto recipes. People on keto diet are always looking new recipes that keeps them motivated to continue the diet.

Let’s look at some keto recipes you can make with peanut butter:

1. Keto Peanut Butter Cups

For this recipe, you will need:

Sugar-free chocolate - 120 grams

Butter - 100 grams

Peanut butter - 4 tbsp

Salt - according to taste

Cupcake molds and tray

Recipe:

Melt the chocolate using a double broiler or in the microwave. Place cupcake molds into the tray.

Pour chocolate in the mold and put it in the freezer for 10 to 15 minutes.

Add 1 tsp peanut butter on frozen chocolate and wait for it to solidify.

Pour molten chocolate to cover it completely. Stick it in the freezer for another 10 minutes. Sprinkle salt over the peanut butter chocolate cups to add a touch of saltiness.

One serving will contain 284 calories of energy, 28.3 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of carbs, and 4 grams of protein.

2. Peanut Butter Fat Bombs

For this recipe, you will need:

Peanut butter - 4 tbsp

Almond flour - ¼ cup

Heavy cream - 2 tbsp

Coconut flour - 1 tbsp

Shredded coconut - 1 tbsp

Recipe:

Mix all ingredients other than shredded coconut together in a bowl.

Roll the mixture into small, bite-sized balls and chill it for 10 minutes in the refrigerator.

Take the balls out and roll them in shredded coconut. Keep them back in the refrigerator and eat one whenever you crave something nutty and sweet.

One serving of peanut butter fat bombs contains 74 calories of energy, which comes from 6 grams of fat, 1 gram of carbs, and 2 grams of protein.

3. Keto Peanut Butter Fudge

For this recipe, you will need:

Peanut butter - ½ cup

Cocoa powder - ¼ cup

Stevia - ½ cup

Vanilla extract - 1 tsp

Refined coconut oil - ¾ cup

8 x 8 pan

Recipe:

Mix all ingredients together in a big bowl. You can use a hand mixer or wooden spoon for it.

Line the pan with parchment paper.

Pour the mixture into the pan and level it uniformly.

Stick in the freezer for 20 to 25 minutes.

Cut into small, bite-sized pieces and eat them frozen.

One serving of keto peanut butter fudge contains 89 calories. It contains 8 grams of fat, 1 gram of carbs, and two grams of protein.

4. Keto Peanut Butter Pudding

For this recipe, you will need:

Unsweetened cashew milk - one cup

Natural peanut butter - ¼ cup

Stevia - ¼ cup

Vanilla extract - 2 tsp

Gelatin powder - 1 tsp

Recipe:

Mix unsweetened cashew milk, stevia, vanilla extract, and peanut butter in a saucepan and heat it over medium heat until the butter melts completely.

Mix gelatin in half cup of cool water and let it sit for one minute.

Add to the peanut butter mix and keep stirring.

You can either pour into a tray or multiple small bowls. Keep it in the refrigerator. Serve cold. One serving of keto peanut butter pudding has 140 calories of energy, 9.5 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of carbs, and 6 grams of protein.

5. Low-Carb Peanut Butter Pie

For this recipe, you will need:

Crust:

Almond flour - ½ cup

Cocoa powder - 3 tbsp

Stevia - 1½ tbsp

Melted butter - ½ cup

Filling:

Cream cheese - 500 grams

Vanilla - 1 tbsp

Heavy whipping cream - ¾ cup

Chocolate syrup:

Cocoa powder - 2 tbsp

Stevia - 1 tbsp

Water - 2 tbsp

Recipe:

Mix all crust ingredients together and press the mixture well into a greased pan.

Add softened cream cheese into a bowl and mix it with stevia, vanilla extract, and peanut butter.

Add heavy whipping cream and beat it with a hand mixer until the mixture thickens.

Pour it into the crusted pan and level it equally. Stick it in the refrigerator for three to four hours.

Add all chocolate syrup ingredients into a saucepan until the whole mixture comes together.

Take it off heat and place it on the kitchen countertop to cool for 30 minutes.

Cut the pie into eight pieces and serve with chocolate syrup drizzle. Store the leftover syrup in your refrigerator. One serving of low-carb peanut butter pie contains 372 calories of energy, 34 grams of fat, 6 grams of carbs, and 6 grams of protein.

References

http://www.peanut-institute.org/resources/downloads/fft_v12i3.pdf

http://main.diabetes.org/dorg/PDFs/awareness-programs/hhm/what_can_i_eat-smart_snacks-American_Diabetes_Association.pdf

https://www.verywellfit.com/how-eating-peanut-butter-can-help-you-lose-weight-3495815

http://ajcn.nutrition.org/content/89/6/1913.long

https://ketoconcern.com/keto-peanut-butter/

https://mymontanakitchen.com/5-ingredient-peanut-butter-pudding-thm-s-low-carb-sugar-free/

https://mymontanakitchen.com/chocolate-peanut-butter-collagen-fudge-low-carb-sugar-free-thm-s/

https://whatmollymade.com/peanut-butter-fat-bombs/

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bussanbaby · 8 years ago

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Hurricane heart

It’s the small things that speak of love.

And some days are just worse than others.

Magnus’ sunlit Friday makes his heart feel like a hurricane. It begins early with a call tearing him out of sleep about a warlock child falling unexplainably ill and a rushed home visit, a mother’s grief and fiery assurances that it’s going to be okay, don’t cry please, he’s still here for you to love.

A slew of clients next – the next one more late and even more fussy and demanding than the last one, all Magnus do this and that and dance as I tell unless I won’t pay. Not that Magnus necessarily needs the money, he’d be fine without it, but it’s about something more than that, payment for services rendered, an act of assistance, two people respecting each other; all because he wants to do something to help the world. The smile surrounded by his goatee is a fake one, all business-like, stretched thin like a guitar string waiting to snap, a dare and a warning all at once, a do not push me too far.

Hours tick by like sand slipping through fingers, quick and fleeting and the warm sun turns into a gloomy, unpleasant evening. There’s thunder angrily stomping around outside the loft windows and the usually welcome pitter-patter of rain is now grating on Magnus’ nerves. The same goes for the ticking of his ancient and probably priceless Grandfather clock a room over. It’s the rhythmic nature of it that makes it feel like a presence hanging over his shoulder and quietly judging his handiwork.

Magnus prides himself on making his loft feel as homely as possible, a haven, an oasis for any kind of person, especially himself, but today it’s cold and hollowed out. He almost expects an echo to answer his sigh. The light is either too dark or too bright, his table too low, his clutter too present, each thing pushing into Magnus’ peripheral vision, unwanted thoughts like guests extending their stay for the third time.

His back hurts from sitting hunched over his living room table while he works away on a potion with a deadline for yesterday. His eyes are tired from translating fae manuscripts and reading the fine print on summoning contracts, there’s a stress headache budding right behind the front of his skull and everybody wants something, right here, right now.

Magnus, help me talk to this demon!

Magnus, make me a potion to forget my lost lover!

Magnus, do this and do that and don’t even expect a thank you, because why would that be necessary!

He’s tired. He’s so, so tired and he hates the claws of exhaustion, both mental and physical, prickling at his skin. Usually, a day like this is something he handles fine, but he woke up off-kilter, like a boat tilted sideways until it finally sinks. Magnus feels like Titanic already split in half.

He grits his teeth, even when he knows he shouldn’t, the muscle in his jaw jumping without his control, waits for the potion to turn from yellow to a light blue after the last ingredient is in. When it doesn’t, it’s the literal last drop that makes the cup of his frustration run over. His anger is ice-cold and menacingly quiet, it burns him from inside-out.

Magic stretches his veins, swelling alongside Magnus’ annoyance until it bubbles up in his throat as a growl. He stands abruptly from the couch and the furniture shudders, an earthquake in the form of a person making it jump. Orange and red sparks drip from the tips of Magnus’ fingers, falling onto the carpet to leave little scorched dots behind.

All of the books stacked by the side fly and smash against the wall with a deafening thud and some of the pages tear free, now falling like leaves and Magnus just stands, breathing heavy with fists clenched and the last thing before the lights overhead flicker is the sound of a door opening and combat-boot clad footsteps rushing against the carpets.

Magnus was so caught up in everything that he didn’t notice the tremor in his wards indicating a guest, but with only certain people allowed in, it’s easy to guess the tall figure halting their steps with an arm halfway to a Seraph blade and a strange kind of grace.

Alec hangs on to the doorjamb with his hands, clearly expecting enemies, but seeing only Magnus in the middle of a mess. His face shifts from wariness to confusion and then melts into vague understanding as he takes everything in. Magnus watches his lips part around nonexistent words, before he squints, one-eyed and inquisitive.

“I wanted to see you, but it seems like a bad time…” He explains, but instead of leaving, approaches Magnus, eyes searching and hands reaching up to rest on broad shoulders. A simple touch is enough to pull the cork on the overflowing bathtub and Magnus’ rigid posture falls, fingers unclench, he breathes.

“No, no, it’s just-“ Magnus just shakes his head, the simple motion making his headache twice as difficult.

“Bad day?” A crooked little smile shows up on Alec’s mouth, Magnus’ personal favourite. A wry thing, not oblivious, but very familiar with the feeling of the dam breaking.

“Very bad day.” He agrees and sighs deeply from the bottom of his chest, before wrapping his arms loosely around Alec’s waist. There’s that familiar, faint scent of a leather and a cologne he could recognize in miliseconds.

“Wanna talk about it?” It’s a sweet thing to ask, very Alec-like, honest in its attentiveness, and this time it’s Magnus’ turn to smile, a private thing, there and gone. He shakes his head again. He doesn’t want to worry Alec, but they promised to be open and upfront about their troubles, so in the end, he complies.

“Not now, later perhaps.”

Warm fingers move up his neck, eight digits pressed into his spine and thumbs at the hinges of his jaw.

“It’s like you’re actively trying to grind your teeth into dust.”

A lilt of laughter colors Alec’s voice as he works away at the pain in small circles and after the moment it feels a little bit better already. Magnus closes his eyes and focuses his attention on the heavy weight of Alec’s gaze on him, the proximity of his body, the warmth radiating through a thin shirt into his fingertips.

He imagines a calm ocean, waves spilling playfully over each other and his magic settles – fills his chest and spills into his abdomen, unbridled energy willing to settle down when kindly asked.

That’s the funny thing – Magnus’ magic is such an intrinsic part of his soul and his sole existence that it sometimes feels like it has a mind of its own. He notices it always wakes up at the slightest touch of Alec’s fingers, whether it’s them skimming the top of his palm in passing or a deep embrace where they press into skin and muscle. It sings in his heart, happy just as he is with the love of his life.

They stand there for a while, Alec massaging all the knotted and tense muscles he can reach without breaking away and Magnus just enjoying the attention, the feeling of loneliness dissipating after the whole day spent around people. When Alec speaks again, voice a tad bit hoarse and even more pleasant, Magnus tugs him closer, presses their bodies against each other until they feel like one. Those long, spindly fingers move from his neck to his hair, scratch along the shaved sides and brush through the strands standing straight up, before dancing across his face – soft touches along his browbones, following the slope of his nose and dipping into the shape of his Cupid’s bow to rest against the corners of his mouth.

“I don’t know if you know him, but there’s this guy that I’m dating, yeah? He’s tall, buff as hell, and gives great advice. He told me once to step back from work and just breathe every now and again. Find a new perspective. Maybe you should listen to him.”

Magnus smiles again and this time the smile sticks, not a bomb about to go off but a fireplace with the flames crackling like a song. This Alec is one of his favourites, chocolate with a sprinkle of pepper – playful and caring and casual with a side of flirty, leaning his body against Magnus, arms resting on his shoulders and hands clasped where he can’t see them.

Magnus remembers that it’s his turn to say something.

“I don’t recognize him, but it sounds like you really like him.”

“Oh, I love him, actually. And that’s why I think he should take a five minute break from this, whatever this is.” Alec says, punctuating the last part of his sentence with a jut of his chin towards the bubbling glass on the table and a flurry of papers on the ground.

A break it is, then.

Arms wrapped around bodies, knees knocking together, they stand in an embrace. It’s honestly all Magnus wants right now, as he presses his forehead against Alec’s rain-damp skin, feels a breath skim across his lips and something hums in his chest. He’s content to stay like this for a hundred and one years, because this kind of tenderness is a step away from painful.

It did not come easy for them; months ago, there was resentment and guilt and the sentiment of impossibility. But then, a touch of hands and the world turned upside down. And they’re still here with their own private gravity; the moon and the stars could be sold and the sun could burn out and Magnus would pick a quiet offer of getting takeout and watching something light-hearted over any gemstone or treasure.

Clients want and his people need and Shadowhunters demand, but it doesn’t matter. Because he has Alec too. Alec, who comes to see him, because there’s an empty space behind his ribs and because there’s a mouth he wants to kiss into the deep darkness of the night and there’s books to be read side by side and songs to be danced to and skin to be touched. Because there’s no hidden motive.

They part with a mutual sigh and while Alec reaches for his phone to order food, Magnus snaps his fingers – the mess disappears, at least for a while until he has to deal with it, but for now the hurricane is calm.

#shadowhunters #magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec #my fics #abloodneed #i hope you see this and smile izsak #darquebane #amorverus #i'm tagging all my fav peeps

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atundratoadstool · 8 years ago

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Good evening! I adore your blog, which has a been a big source of inspiration and motivation as I finished my undergrad degree in French lit and history. Do you have any general advice about how to tackle preparation for a literature master's, beyond pre-reading as many of the syllabus materials as possible?

Okay, so I can’t speak to how applicable my experience with graduate school is going to be to yours. I ended up going back to school many years after my undergrad; I changed my topic of study (Classics to English); and I went from a very highly regarded and vastly over-priced selective liberal arts college to a very affordable but not terribly prestigious big state school. Also, a cursory glance at your blog gives me the impression that you are probably not going to be studying in America (?), which will no doubt make a difference as every tier of the American education system is a terrible dumpster fire in its own unique inferno-of-garbage sort of way and I can only assume/hope that things will be much different outside of our terrifying hell-country.

With that being said, let me say that you are already completely on the ball with regards to pre-reading course materials for your first term. This isn’t because you will absolutely need to do the reading ahead of time or even that doing the reading ahead of time will drastically help you all the much in a class environment; this is because being ahead of the game on your coursework from the get go will give you a wonderful buffer such that you can screw up a little, deal with the shift to a different sort of school environment, and make this adjustment without having to sweat too much about the day to day grind of your school work.

If you have a lot of spare time before your studies commence, I would devote as much of it as possible to getting yourself as relaxed, happy, and full of good work habits and coping strategies as possible. Once more, you want to spend some time now working to give yourself some slack in the future. Try to get yourself on as regular a sleep schedule as possible; find something that healthily relieves stress and do it regularly; and dedicate part of each day to reading or writing something even if it isn’t something you think of as academic. The summer before I went into my MA, I got myself in bed by 11:00 each night, I started running regularly, and I stopped using caffeine. As will surprise absolutely no grad student anywhere, these habits were not ones I adhered to perfectly throughout my education. However, having them in place meant that when things got tough in the first year, I had the option to stay up late and inhale some energy beverages to get things done. Being the sort of insufferable goober who eats their kale, jogs thirty miles a week, and goes to sleep early meant that I started from a baseline where I was really ahead of all the other students in terms of having fallbacks for navigating stress, and spending a summer getting all those healthy habits on lock down meant that I had some regular ways in which I could relax and cope when fifty pages of papers were due in a week. Obviously, my mainstay of aggressive exercise isn’t something everyone can do or even something that will be effective for everyone who can do it; the goal is to get into as healthy a place as you can be and to try and find something regular and fun that you can do to feel better when you need it. (Just try to make that something won’t make you more stressed in the long run. A night spent with a local eatery’s all you can eat nachos and a pitcher of tequila is something that might be absolutely necessary for you to get through your defense, but it is not something that should be your default method of coping.)

As for the daily personal reading and/or writing, it will be the sort of thing that will be very helpful when you do not expect it to be. You are probably going to be doing a lot of writing, and feeling comfortable using language and making high wordcounts will be immensely useful, even if you build up your skills with non-academic writing. While I assume, if you’re going into literature, that you already read (and possibly write) a fair amount, making time to regularly read things that you like will help you to figure out what sorts of things you want to study academically, and it may eventually give you a body of knowledge and sources that you can rely upon when you’re doing your own work. One of the reasons that the least stressful part of my Master’s was my goshdarn thesis was because I wrote my thesis on Dracula, and I had sat around for years reading Victorian literature, Bram Stoker’s research sources, goofy academic books on vampires, case histories of asylums, and relevant scholarly monographs for fun. While not everything you write or read will or even should be applicable to graduate-level work, making these activities an unrelenting daily habit will make it a whole lot easier when you are faced with reading/writing as an unrelenting daily chore.

Aside from that, just get ready for a lot of work and keep the boatload of passion for your field that I’m sure you have burning as bright as possible. Grad school, at least insofar as I’ve experienced it, is really crazy, but I will say as a goofball who now has an MA that I’ve found it to be crazy rewarding too.

#gradblr #finnhudsoninoz

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helloproductive-blog · 8 years ago

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How I Lost 40 Pounds in 4 Months

The Steps I Took to Lose 40 Pounds in 4 Months

I’m here to tell you that as someone who’s struggled with their weight since childhood, losing 40 pounds in 4 months is hard, and there were many times that my dedication faltered, but the satisfaction gained after stepping on the scale and seeing those pounds disappear, made the pain I endured worth it. In middle school, at my heaviest, I weighed over 300 miserable pounds, then during high school I buckled down and managed to lose over 100 pounds! By my first year of college, I was thinner than ever and I finally felt comfortable in my own skin. While I had every intention to keep going, during the second year of college my life hit a rough patch and old eating habits slowly crept back in. Soon, all the control I’d built through the years vanished; I ate more than ever, abandoned my workout routine, and avoided scales and non-stretchy clothes at all cost. I managed to dodge the reality of my weight gain for a few years until at 23, while getting a check-up, I came face to face with just how far I’d let my weight go. In bright red text, the numbers 255 stared back at me. Instantly I felt the blood rushed to my cheeks and I had to fight the urge to cry the rest of the appointment. How could I have let myself get back here? After the shock settled down I drove home and thought for a while about how my mindset need to change so that I could lose the weight for good. No longer would I allow excuses to rule my life: I had to take back the control. It has been 4 months since then and I’ve lost a staggering 40 pounds (update: 55!). I understand that weight loss can be overwhelming so I’ve decided to share the steps I took to lose 40 pounds in 4 months. If I can do this, anyone can! (Note: I am not a nutritionist or expert of any kind I am just sharing my experience)

1. Track Everything

Tracking meals = accountability! Once I decided to make the change, I knew had to come clean about what, and more importantly, how much I ate. Since my phone is glued to my side, I decided to download an app called MyFitnessPal where I can log what I eat, my exercise, water-intake and more instead of keeping a journal. Writing down your meals on paper works great too. The app also calculates your information such as weight, age and goals and tells you how many calories you should consume in a day as well as how carbs, fats, and proteins, etc. There are countless apps out there that you can use to track your meals. I chose MyFitnessPal because so many of the weight loss Instagramer’s that I follow, swear by it. I figured if it worked for them it could work for me. I love how easy the app is to use and how large of a food and restaurant database they have also they can sync up to other apps and devices you may use (Note: I’m not being paid to say this, I just love this app). Get in the habit of writing or entering everything you eat, and I do mean everything. Those extra little “bites” or “tastes” seriously add up and could sabotage your weight loss! If you go over on your calories, log that too! Part of weight loss is becoming accountable for our actions. Ps. It’s okay to eat more on occasion! I personally practice the 80/20 method. 80% of the time I stick to my goals while 20% of the time I treat myself.

2. Ditch the Excuses! Change your Mindset

We all have them, I was full of them: I’m tired, it’s too late, I don’t have the time, it’s just one slice, etc.…. Excuses are just lies we tell ourselves, if you want to lose the weight then you must make it a priority. It’s that simple. There are a million different weight loss methods on the market that overly complicate it, the truth is, it all boils down to calories in vs. calories out. I lost the weight by sticking to my daily calorie goal and working out about 4-5 days per week. There were days, weeks even, when my motivation would dip and my mind would flood with excuses, but if I had listened, I would have never lost 40 pounds. Your goals and dreams won’t be accomplished by making excuses. It’s hard, I know, but trust me when I say it is so worth it. Bye-bye excuses, hello cute new outfits!

3. Get moving

As I mentioned earlier, I work out about 4-5 days per week for anywhere from 30-90 minutes at a time. I am no athlete, during gym I was the kid who’d rather talk than kick a ball. Yet I knew to lose the weight I’d have to start. Working out doesn’t have to be terrible and the more you exercise the more you’ll love it. Starting out, I couldn’t run for longer than a minute and honestly that was pushing it! Now I can run for an hour + without trouble and enjoy every second, when before I loathed the mere thought of it. Find an activity whether it be lifting, cardio, workout videos, swimming, etc. and move your body. Exercise not only aids weight loss, but it can boost your mood and extend your life. Sounds like a no brainer, right? Also, don’t underestimate the power of walking. Seriously. Some of my best weeks in regards to pounds lost were weeks I mostly walked.

4. Drink More Water

t first I was skeptical, can drinking more water really help with weight loss? Well, I decided to give it a try and quickly found out why everyone and their mom suggests it. Not only did I have more energy, I was losing weight like crazy. Diet coke was my go-to drink before, I would go days without water and then wonder why I felt like crap. Now I’ve made a habit of carrying a water bottle wherever I go. There is Research that shows regardless of diet or exercise, women who increased their water intake saw significant weight loss over time. Another study asserted that hydration and obesity are linked and that overweight people were more likely to have poor hydration. Crazy, right? So just how much H20 do you need? According to the Mayo clinic, women should drink about 9 cups or 2.2 liters of water per day, men 13 cups or 3 liters (1). Get to drinking!

5. Reward Yourself

Yes, you heard me right: Treat Yo Self! Now I’m not saying to tear open a bag of Oreos and go to town—though that may be tempting, but If you finally broke through that plateau and started seeing results or you beat your last running time, then go see that movie you’ve been dying to see. Plan a shopping day with friends and snag that shirt you’d been eyeing for a while. Feel proud about your accomplishments, remember I didn’t lose 40 pounds I lost 1 pound 40 times! So, you only lost one pound that week when you’d hoped to lose 3? Keep pushing, keep grinding because those pounds, hell even those ounces, add up and before you know it you’ll be down 40 pounds too!

I hope these steps help, I can’t wait to see the results. If you post on Instagram use the hashtag: hpweightloss #hpweightloss

Xoxo,

Meagan

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maritzaerwin · 5 years ago

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Hard Work or Smart Work? What to Adopt?

People often say:

“Don’t do hard work, do smart work”.

Although what exactly does smart work mean and does that mean hard work is bad? In simple words as said by Mr. Harrish Sairaman,

“Hard work is tremendously important in your life however smart work is to know when to stop that hard work so that you get the right result. It is also to realize that there is a better way to do that work.”

Therefore, smart work is all about knowing, how do I bring in that time where my hard work produces amazing results? So, if you do not know when would your hard work create great results then you are not working smartly. For example, all students work really hard and prepare very well for their exams. They put in their day and night into their studies, which is crucial and super important.

However, when they are putting in so much hard work, there should also be a time when they are chilling and giving themselves rest. These are the moments when the actual work happens, as their brain cells are absorbing all the information collected and giving the student time to recuperate.

Human civilization has been built on work. Working is not only good for our health but it benefits in structuring our personal and social identity. Whether paid or not, work helps us build confidence and self-esteem within ourselves. Both hard work and smart work go hand in hand, they cannot do without the other. The foundation of any work should be hard work and with time it should amalgamate smart work. Now if we look at the daily study routine of students, they have a lot on their plates.

From study schedules, homework, school, college to coaching classes for various competitive examinations. They have to give equal attention to each of these parts. Although, with hard work, it is nearly impossible to give equal attention to all. In such a situation students should create a time table and dedicate certain hours to each study session along with a focus of only certain chapters in their subjects. This would be a smart way to deal with their studies and work hard as well in a more focused manner.

Keeping this in mind, in this blog, we would be talking about the importance of Hard work and Smart Work. We would look at both of them in detail and which would be adopted in our daily lives.

Hard Work and Smart Work — An Ongoing Debate

Hard Work

The most common piece of advice all of us have received is, “Work hard and you will succeed”. However, it can be noticed that most people work hard their entire life but have not received the benefits from it. Here we can clearly see that the meaning of hard work and manual labor has been mixed up. Hard work basically means to put in efforts with constant determination in order to achieve your goals. A student who works an extra shift at places to pay for his/her college fees is an example of a hard-working person. While manual labor is when there is an absence of growth, learning, and motivation to move ahead.

Importance of Hard Work

Now let’s look at why hard work is important and how it can lead to happiness and success.

1. Achievement

You might have heard a lot of people say after their exam results are out “At last my hard work has paid off”. This feeling is what you achieve when you channel and focus your hard work in the right direction. Initially, you will face setbacks and there would be times when you will feel low, although the key here is to keep trying even if you fail each time. You need to keep transforming and changing your technique without giving up on hard work.

2. Motivated and Positive

Through speeches, books, movies, and role models, people get motivated. The catch here is that it is the words and story of a hard-working individual that has moved you. Imagine doing the same hard work yourself. You will feel motivated, happy, and positive in the truest sense of the word. Hard work teaches you to live life with a positive attitude and improve.

3. Self-Satisfaction

Hard work also makes you self-sufficient and gives you a sense of self-satisfaction. Hard work is the major key to the recipe of success. When a student puts in all his dedication into his assignment and the teacher praises them, the satisfaction that comes out of it is the best feeling in the world.

4. Confidence

By working hard, one can achieve all goals and also fulfill their dreams. It pushes you one step ahead in your life and helps you surpass your own limitations. The person you were 3 years back would be different from who you are today. This is because you have learned a lot over the years and developed confidence along the way. Hard work put in by you, in school, colleges, and even at work has contributed to this.

5. Respect

The reason we have the utmost respect for our elders, teachers, professors, and colleagues is due to their behavior, their life experiences, and the amount of dedication they have towards their profession and skills. The knowledge they have gained is all due to the hard work they put in to learn those skills we admire. Therefore, if you put in the same dedication and hard work. You will gain the same respect even if you are not as successful.

It doesn’t matter if we are successful or are going to be successful, people always appreciate hard work. As mentioned earlier, the road of hard work is not easy, thus helping people to develop self-discipline should always be a goal for us all. Hard work offers more than just success. It teaches us to live life with a positive attitude and improve our personalities

Smart Work

Grinding ourselves without proper direction or guidance is never a good idea. In a similar manner, smart work is all about planning and focusing all your hard work into a channel. Therefore, a smart worker would create a mind map and work accordingly. Having said that, in order to do smart work, you need to do your groundwork and make appropriate work plans to execute your smart work. The aim of doing smart work is to produce quality results using minimum labor. The classic example of smart work would be exam preparations. Students map out their syllabus and solve previous year question papers. This gives them the idea of which topic is covered the most and which is covered the least. Based on this, the student can give the maximum amount of time to an important topic. This is called smart work. As you are saving time on fewer import topics. Another example for a workplace would be that in yesteryears people would write entire books by hand and their copies were also limited in number. Nowadays, we have print machines and computers for that work. This shows how the typing is still hard work, but creating copies via machines is a smart work metaphorically.

Importance of Smart Work

We know hard work is important to achieve success but it also does not mean that working round the clock will ensure guaranteed success. For example, a worker who works for 2 shifts a day can’t be compared to a businessman working just 4-5 hours a day.

Let’s see why smart work is important to achieve success

1. Time Management

There is also a famous saying “Time is money”. It is the most important reserve of a smart worker. Smart workers manage their time wisely and properly to achieve success. It includes eliminating distractions, proper attention to the work without wasting time, and so on. You will notice that a smart worker always has a plan in hand. They would create their work schedule a day in advance and have targeted goals set for each day. This enables them to rest and reserve their energy.

2. Control

Control is another important key to smart work. You cannot do everything in one go. You need to sectionalize everything and prioritize everything. If you have control over your work tasks, you can do work, plan it, and innovate it in your own way. Therefore, to achieve success, you need to have as much control as possible.

3. Limits

Smart work allows individuals to set limits. One knows how to set limits with their clients, bosses, or even with their family. This again depends on your prioritization and focus.

4. Building Strength

By working smarty, one can develop or build their strengths and eradicate weaknesses. This means you need to work towards developing your skills and become a pro in your work in order to know everything about your topic, this would enable you to hone your skills and build up your strength.

5. Networking

We know that in order to keep developing we need to transform and make connections with people in our field. For example, a student should befriend their seniors, this would enable you to know where can you find notes, which teacher would help, what are the tricks and tips for you’re an exam. So for this, you need to develop a good network in order to achieve success. Another example is asking your seniors at work for help. They might have faced a similar issue as you at work, therefore, before trying every possible option, you should discuss them with your seniors as they will surely have a solution.

We can also say that Smart work is really the need of an hour. As it includes planning, then executing, and then improving your time management skills. Smart work is all about using our brainpower to the best of our capacity, i.e. being mentally focused on the work. This increases concentration power and enhances our productivity.

Difference Between Hard Work and Smart Work

Hard work and smart work are two wholly different techniques to complete a task. The physical abilities of a person play an important role in hard work. A person has to work effortlessly with full dedication, without being concerned about getting tired. Whereas smart work is getting maximum work done with little effort, thus the brain plays a vital role in it. Hard work means spending hours to complete a task, without skipping any details. On the other hand, working smartly means taking a shortcut to complete the task in less time.

What Should a Student Do to Achieve Success?

Students need to focus on a number of factors in order to be successful.

Firstly, they should be motivated and ready to work sharply. Study shows that a negative attitude and laid back attitude can ruin a student’s abilities. Thus, students should prioritize preparation as well as laying a groundwork.

Hard work is crucial but a student should know how to compartmentalize those hard work and utilize the knowledge grabbed to the best of their capabilities.

A student can’t be successful if their seniors and teachers people are not aware of what you are doing and cannot help. Thus, keeping track and socializing with peers should be a crucial point for students.

Considering all these factors and conditions, it would not be wrong to say that in order to be successful, students need to work harder and then transition to becoming smarter. If one wants to be successful in the long run, they will have to put in more effort. Smartness is definitely a plus point, but not even smart people can achieve success if they don’t work hard for it. To be specific, there are no clear-cut guidelines to achieve success.

Smart people try to figure out the easiest way to reach their goals, but the reality is that there are no shortcuts to success. There should be a perfect blend. This would help achieve great heights and better results from your business. When a company works hard and smart at the same time, it achieves unbelievable heights in a short amount of time.

Franklin D. Roosevelt once said:

“Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.”

When your mix hard work with your smart work, that is the feeling you will achieve, whether you are a student or a working profession for that matter. Therefore, you can not only apply this ideology of hard work and smart work at workspaces but also for your studies and life

We hope that this blog was informative and helpful is the way that it gave you a perspective towards your plan of action and duties, be it in any field of your choice.

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