#giving myself that time to the new year to get that last batch of contacts I can get. the site doesnt have much longer anyways

[rosemirmir]

Prepare for more original posts from me in 2023, since I will be deleting my Twitters sometime after the new year starts

[sugar-petals]

♡ måneskin scenario: getting to know ethan 

↳ NOTE. by popular demand and because i’m entirely enthralled by the phenomenon that is ethan torchio myself, here we go givin’ the gorgeous drummer some love.

word count. 5.5k

TAGS. no warnings all fluff, fem!oc, slice of life, photographer!reader, first date-ish, shy flirting, ot4 is part of the plot, ethan being sexy in heels

Jacob had enough of that twilight bullshit and joined a glam rock band. At least that’s what you thought seeing Ethan around for the first time. Setting up the kit, carrying his whiny band members around, fixing his ruffle shirt, chugging some water: Big gig tonight, extra long setlist. Five minutes later, complaining about his brocade shoes being hard to kick the bass drum with. Even later, silently nodding along to an impassioned Damiano speech crafted to boost the morale, and posing for your camera in his silver jumpsuit. Friendly to approach all the way, but without initiating stable eye contact even once.

One thing’s for sure. As your favorite professor said back at university: Someone may be photogenic and unearthly as hell in terms of looks, and even be intimidating — but also so damn shy, you won’t see their eyes a single time. „Gotta work with it and not against. Then it gets interesting“. In essence, the takeaway from that course. Which does come in handy now. Ethan seems like the kind of guy you really have to get into for a more intimate-feeling picture.

Sure, many people in front of your camera have all kinds of introverted personalities anyway, wearing sunglasses in particular. So much about eye contact in the first place. And the aesthetic is priority, not studying character. Although you really are a fan of that, it’s a huge part of photography if anything. Alas, you’re here to „capture nothing more but the spirit of italo-rock, the attitude, the hedonism!“ (the exact words of your boss) for a music magazine after all. Really, nothing more? You paid attention to how he worded it. Fair enough. Rock spirit, that’s all, the exciting parts.

Ethan surely has it. Drumming on everything he can find during rehearsal breaks („music is everywhere“) with his sticks, even Thomas’ amplifier. He’s actually dorkier than you thought, less composed when he’s in his element. First impressions do deceive. The hair’s hard to miss, too. It’s the central motif that attracts you. You may or may not have taken over 50 shots of it just because. Ethan is a bad bitch and he better know. You climb around the venue to get any salient angle of Måneskin you can think of. Even from all the way back, last row. You don’t want to annoy them being all up in their face constantly. You’re hired to get all the good shots, they’ve been a band for seven years already, professionals in the making. Doesn’t mean you have to stand below the edge of the stage and never change position.

Even from back there, the silver reflects beautifully at the back of the stage. The fashion’s all designer and it shows, but Ethan couldn’t look bad in any of the shots even if he tried or wore the plainest black suit (hell, that would be just as beautiful in fact). Just how long is that hair anyway. All the way down to the solar plexus, must be 24 inches or more. 25, even. Many rockers would wear it that way, but Ethan seems particularly interesting with how he touches it, how he behaves with it. There we go again with the character study, you can’t help wondering.

But really. It’s any photographer’s dream when someone moves their hair around so damn naturally. Gives a great variety to how it frames and shades the face. You like to play with light all the time. And hey, why ask for eye contact when he does even better posing in other ways. The body, too, Ethan’s posture is great. Victoria and Thomas often bend to really get into their power chords, Damiano frequently hunches forward for a belt. But Ethan’s throned at his kit like some royals taught him to be a good boy. Back straighter than a pole, how the hell.

No glance in your direction still, even if you return from your last row spot to move around on stage with the camera. Which gives the band a motivation boost and chances to try out gestures up close, too, so even better. Hey, maybe it doesn’t annoy them. You can actually get used to it, this way of photographing them is all dynamic. Nearing the end of the first rehearsal, you’re all busy maneuvering between Thomas and Damiano to get a nice semi-profile from Ethan’s left side. Gotta work with it not against, you chant to yourself as a mantra, and it seems easier to stick to than you thought.

How glossy all that hair is commands all the attention of your shutter release in and of itself. That he takes good care of it and has been growing it since forever shows a dedicated guy. It’s actually quite wavy. The band arrived in the pouring rain and Ethan’s curly strands at the crown and nape of the head were definitely showing — super cute. An army of stylists took on the resulting humidity frizz. They whipped out the straightening iron and protective spray, and even now before the big performance, Ethan brushes his hair out in front of you, and sweeps it around with his fingers anyway. You take pictures of the bits you find most candid, and decide to rather perfect single shots instead of making several in a row. The more you photograph him, the more you want to discover his essence in one picture. His sheer presence almost begs for it, it’s ridiculous.

Victoria on the other hand has no problems with rapid-fire releases and comes close to your lens to pull funny faces. She’s got some of the coolest poses you’ve ever seen with her bass, and hops around the stage like a bunny to the beat. Thomas is a virtuoso and pro who keeps on doing what he does when you make him pose, and Damiano can flirt with any camera ever. He even lowers his red leather jacket off his collar bones for you to have a great shot. He’s promising and most definitely a born divo, your boss will be happy with those pictures most definitely.

Then again. Behind that supposed hedonism is so much hard work and thought. Damiano even gives you ideas for angles during the second rehearsal. „Hm, maybe stand on the amplifier?“ Eagle perspective, not a bad idea at all. After trying out said suggestions with the help of triggered stage security making sure you don’t fall off the construction („eh, Damiano always suggests the most reckless things to staff, don’t mind him“), you find yourself concentrating on what goes on at the back of the stage all over again.

Ethan is busy practicing a new solo which has you curious about whether it’s for an upcoming album. Though again — the shoes cause trouble. Ethan complains again, the music stops. That could very well be the reason why he seems so preoccupied today, or is it? The manager tells the stylist, and the stylist hurries, voilà, Ethan has a new pair of shoes brought in. Ones with a thicker sole, bit of a chunky heel, and laced up rather than being slippers, a drummer’s worst nightmare as you have learned today.

You wait until he changed. Then snap some more pictures how he continues practicing calmly, and the sound did improve since he can kick the bass drum better now. Now you position yourself across the stage all over, in the empty audience ranks. Ethan is the most radiant and confident when you just take a step back. But well, he still sweeps his hair around a whole lot and looks even more tense-looking than Damiano who’s doing vocal warmups and jumping jacks, „Come on guys, come on, we’re starting in 30 minutes!“.

You can tell he does it more often when he’s nervous. And that means he does it very often. People would probably assume it’s vanity, or the fact that the hair gets in the way. You can see that for him it’s a place of distraction, maybe safety. A gesture like an anchor. He’s used to it being long just like his eye shadow being dark and smoky all day. He knows the drums by heart, if it falls in his face no need to shake it away. And besides. The strands reach below his shoulder blades, it stays down his back if he doesn’t move around too much. He could easily tie it up as well. All those things go through your mind without you even knowing why.

To switch things up a little, you photograph Thomas fooling around with Victoria at the snack bar, stuffing fries up their noses, and already see the lighting technicians do their final check. Some of them you know briefly, you made shots at this venue before, last year for a Shakespeare theatre play. You did some freelance work in the scene, but now you’re put to the test for more involved jobs. Hard to complain though, Måneskin are amazing in front of the camera. If Damiano is not the ideal Hamlet, you don’t know anymore.

Something new happens all the time, the expressions are priceless. Ethan’s in particular, when he does his wide-eyed surprise faces learning that there’s actually healthy food at the snack bar. „Vitamins, how nice.“ — Thomas, pokerfaced, reacts with eating a mayonnaise-dripping sandwich. Ethan, unfazed. Headed straight to the fruits. You’ve never seen a tall silver glitter tower like him walking around biting a bright red apple. Well, you can take Jacob out of twilight, but not the twilight out of Jacob. Snap, another picture. Clash of words, that’s a nice theme.

The concert of this evening seems particularly energetic and leaves your camera roll with some brilliant, tweet-worthy material. Damiano covered in confetti, eyeliner running. Victoria on the shoulders of Ethan while he’s playing her bass.  Thomas, stagediving. Fans waving banners and chanting along to Seven Nation Army. Your ears are ringing when the light technicians close down the stage two hours later. Thomas really played his soul out with the solos, and your feet seem to vibrate. That’s your body thinking Victoria’s bass is still playing, but the magazine is very happy with how the pictures turned out after you send the whole batch to them as soon as you can.

Little to no retouching, zooming, or cropping necessary. Ethan is just perfect as he is, you feel like you captured him well. After swiping through the gallery on your tablet, you think Victoria has some great ant’s eye perspective shots as well. Those go right on your own blog, she’s just amazing. The magazine has an enthusiastic article typed out already. Damiano’s mid-air split on beat for the final song makes the cover story on Monday, and Måneskin’s manager comes back to you a week later. „What would you think about doing some behind the scenes stuff for us? We’re planning a music video!“

And that’s how you end up in a Sicilian restaurant with Måneskin and crew a week later, stuffed with Calzone and mind filled with Damiano’s inspiring words (and the occasional catchy freestyle rap). The MV is as good as finished. Thomas had shown you around the mansion they were shooting at, and you could convince a taciturn  Ethan to walk between the marble statues and boxwood trees in the garden. With his black cape on, a rhinestone choker, and the low-cut lacey blouse that the MV director was obsessed with as well, asking you to focus on it. Your best shot even ends up in the thumbnail of the Youtube video without you even expecting it would.

All the garden pictures turned out mindblowing. If not iconic, the best project you had so far. Gets to show you the best things are often improvised. Ethan, stoic as always, sat at the base of armor-clad Emperor Augustus twisting into the blue sky in a large gesture. The marble was a perfect contrast. Ethan ate a ripe pear from a tree, even that was aesthetically pleasing, then leaned against a hunting Apollo, and you also framed him from the back next to Aphrodite and Cesar. He put on his sunglasses underneath Achilles, and knelt at the feet of a Pietà replica. Marvelous panorama shots, with him the shining center. Well, we know since Queen that the drummer is the unrealistically pretty one.

The whole picture series is blowing up on your blog for the whole afternoon. „Count Dracula on a stroll in Versailles — eugh, begone sunlight!“ is what a comment neatly sums it up as. People seem to especially like the shot where Ethan playfully put his cape over Pallas Athena’s spear with a blurry Thomas having a laughing fit in the background. Well, even Count Drac gets photobombed sometimes. Your phone buzzes with notifications every other minute, you do notice it against your thigh. But the insalata of the restaurant is good and the night is young. Victoria and the manager tell old stories of Thomas snapping a guitar string while he was trying to serenade a highschool crush. Ethan scolds them for making fun of it.

Damiano gets drunk and dances on the table, the MV director discusses new ideas, some walk-in fans take pictures. The temperature is still unbearable. You order a dessert to share with Victoria and Ethan. A large tiramisu that the waiter cuts in three pieces, and it’s truly delectable. The chocolate, so crunchy, melty. The cream, fluffy and cool, making for a funny white beard that makes Ethan look like an arctic scientist returning from an expedition.

Of course, you take pictures, all the food is documented. As are late night restaurant shots with Damiano’s heels peaking into the frame when you photograph the band’s friendship bracelets, hand-made by Victoria on a tour bus last year. Damiano’s back down on the table soon, singing, while Ethan creates a beat with two forks. Thomas also agrees to take your camera for a while so you’d be in the frame for a change, too.

You pose for a group picture, or rather a group hug, and being in the middle …Ethan’s arm wraps around your shoulder loosely, hair dangling into his face, but also brushing yours. He focuses on the camera, facing away from you. The schooled eye could catch you breaking a sweat in the resulting photo. Ironically, the tiramisu doesn’t cool you down the way you thought. Thomas is too busy trying to figure out your camera dials and yelling „hey eyebrow king, smile!“ at Ethan.

A round of even more gelato goes down in spoons and spoons. The band members eat like they ran a marathon. Ethan clinches a third round because he can, unhealthy be damned, he needs some sugar and refreshment. And it’s true the MV shooting was strenuous in the heat, and had lots of intense performing parts. Even an invisible rope suspension were Thomas would descend from a ceiling during the chorus with little cherub wings attached to his back because why not. If the manager agreed to recreate this on tour some day, the pictures would be amazing.

You can’t help but think what kind of special effect would suit Ethan the most, and you come to the conclusion that a bridge lift would be the coolest thing ever. A rising part of the stage letting him emerge like an elevator from the underground.  Maybe using smoke machines, too. The idea twirls around in your mind so intensely, Damiano asks if you’re wasted. You’re always getting carried away with all kinds of fantasies like that for over a week now. A dreamy photographer? Not unusual, but it’s seriously distracting you from the present moment.

The crew slowly heads home, and the band decides (translation: Victoria’s mood is) to head to the movies. Just when the waiter arrives with the bill, Damiano spills panna cotta all over Ethan by accident. So bad he’s all sticky from the shoulders down, making Ethan opt for the hotel instead. Besides, he’s been drumming his soul out, sleep is so needed now. Since the group is already gone and there’s still a forgotten cymbal left to carry back to the equipment bus by the hotel, you help Ethan maneuver it around. The heat is making either of you sweat, even with the full dark of the night coming up.

The gaffer lady you’re sharing a hotel room with is already fast asleep. Damn it. You want to cut a video and make screenshots with the laptop being decently bright. And with some volume if possible, you don’t find headphones in the darkness of the room. Ethan clears the desk in his own room for you after removing his make-up. He looks so young and beautiful and tired.

You type and drag and double click yourself through the video and do some last blog updates to deal with all the notifications. Ethan lends you some headphones, but you only keep them on one ear. The humming is too nice to ignore. Nor do you know what to even expect. The bathroom door is open, Ethan is topless washing the lace blouse by hand. Only wearing bellbottom pants and his lace choker — nothing else. He’s fully immersed in his task. He even adds some other shirts and silk scarves into the soap water along the way while he’s at it.

You’ve never seen someone do their own laundry so systematically. Ethan looks like Prince Caspian at the sink, wielding the almond soap bar like his weapon of choice against the enemies of Narnia (the devious panna cotta that’s still sticking to everything). He might be all mysterious, but he’s well able to curse all kinds of things. You tease Ethan for dropping his gentlemanly behavior for a stain of dessert. Ethan insists you sound like Thomas trying to test him with his slick comebacks, which makes you laugh. The blog has calmed down a little and your eyes hurt from editing, so you call it a day and send one last e-mail.

Ethan is drowning in bubbles at this point. The whole room smells like fabric softener. He thanks you for helping him carry around the equipment earlier. In return, you say grazie for him being your perfect muse in the garden today. Philosopher he is, Ethan remarks how Måneskin is usually the one searching for muses, now he ended up one himself — „Maybe not a bad thing, eh. Become the thing you want or something.“ That’s way too deep for a summer night in Sicily, and both of you need a huge portion of sleep. Tomorrow, lots of schedule. You do find yourself wanting to help lick that dessert off his chest. No way you’d tell him.

Ethan waddles off to shower after a crooked, reserved smile for a good night departure. When you close the door to your room and start brushing your teeth, the other members’ voices emerge in the hotel corridor — they’ve returned from the movies. Damiano is even more wasted than before and audibly sings. „You’ve looked at the photographer lady in a certain way earlier, huh. I saw, I saw!“ Victoria does a loud ‚shh‘ noise, and the stoic reply is a simple „Sleep, Damiano, you’ve had too much.“ Thomas giggles, and four doors click shut. Damiano’s singing is now muffled for two minutes until it’s silent. How the fuck can you even sleep after hearing that.

You assumed that Ethan would treat you differently the next morning, in whatever shape or form. But he doesn’t. The greeting is short as it would always be, and he informs you that he did manage to wash out the sugary clay from his clothes as he puts it. Damiano says nothing, adjusts his rings. Thomas randomly pulls zippers at his packed-up equipment. Victoria headed to the car already. Downtown to a studio it goes. The group gets styled to perfection, twenty minutes later they make a reaction video to the newly released MV teaser. Ethan talks about enjoying the sculptures in the garden.

Three hours down the line, you shoot some promotional pictures of them at a pool. Thomas has the time of his life perfecting his diving board skills, and Damiano creates the musical background, singing and prancing. The aerials would make literal perfect editorial-in-VOGUE material. In the meantime, Victoria dozes in the sun. Ethan dives. Sometimes just sitting at the bottom of the pool, othertimes swimming back and forth. The art director suggests you to go into the water, too. He’s right, the perspective works out well this way.

You’re basically standing in there with your flowy pantalon pants and camisole, using a waterproof camera. Your bikini is back at the hotel. It doesn’t matter, everything will dry quickly, the others went in the pool with clothes as well. And you’re all too wrapped up in your passion in the first place. You marvel at how fun the whole scenery looks through your lens. Their outfits are cropped and luminous, today’s color is bright red. You order the lighting assistant back and forth, get some more great Thomas frames where he tosses around a volleyball that the manager brought along. Less rock than usual, but it works. Måneskin at a pool in Sicily.

Damiano splashes water around like crazy. Victoria joins the fun as well, splashing right back. It’s infernal. Well, those are going to be dynamic pictures, you think, and the cameraman never dies, so. Ethan resurfaces every other minute, wiping the chlorine from his eyes. He slicks his hair back with both hands, looking down his body learning how his shirt has become completely transparent. He covers his chest with his hair, quickly, then submerges again. It’s strange. Being topless is usually no big deal in Måneskin.

Almost 12 o’clock. Thomas and Damiano wander off to work on some lyrics, probably the title that the drum solo is part of. All top secret. Victoria returns to her sun lounger, checking her phone. The crew heads for lunch, but you stay in the water, gladly you put sunscreen on earlier. You ask Ethan to try some seated or floating poses at the bottom of the pool that you saw him practice earlier. „No worries, keep your eyes closed.“

What unfolds before you is the most beautiful thing. Ethan’s shirt fans out like a red jellyfish underwater, playing around his body. His figure is just enviable. He gets the hang of it and knows quite how to move. Or rather, to remain stable when the pose is perfect. Hands above his head, horizontal, or seated, only one foot  lightly sweeping over the pool floor, or on one knee, as if he proposed.

Raising his arms helps him sink down and settle, as if he immersed himself in deep meditation. Although the purpose of meditating is to be present, isn’t it. And that’s what he feels like. Ethan would normally switch on autopilot for most of his public interactions, now he’s alive and fully in the concentrated movements of the photoshoot. So much about improvising all over again. The hair creates the most incredible shapes like a black, wide brushstroke, clearly outlined. Thank god you have the waterproof camera. These are moments you’ll never forget.

Your blog notifications keep on bleeping throughout the afternoon. The promotional pictures are a hit. Måneskin’s manager is basically waving five new contracts in front of your face at dinner, but you’re kind of spaced out again. The cozy, rose-ranked atmosphere of the street café you went to is inspiring, and the members dressed up in the most fancy suitwear. Men in Black? Måneskin in Black. It’s almost as if fate read your mind. Ethan is looking at you very intently from across the table when the minestrone is served.

Pasta shells, parsley, vegetables and basil leaves. The scent surrounds the entire table. Damiano, in serious mode tonight, is too busy finding new rhymes and an alternative chorus with Thomas who wildly brainstorms. Victoria drinks, loudly chats with the gaffer lady that you share a room with, and they use a leaf of a palm tree pot plant to tickle Damiano. Thomas plays the acoustic guitar. Ethan and you end up smiling briefly at another. „Bon apetit,“ you say. It’s almost 34° celsius. That’s going to be an entire pile of cheesecake gelato tonight.

Five signed contracts later and halfway through a hefty caprese cake, the title song is finished. An ode to Marlena, fierce like the Mediterranean sea. The piece certainly sounds exactly like this place. Strangers listen to Damiano performing bits and pieces, but you decide to disperse when too many cellphones come out. Damiano wants to go to a bar, Thomas and Victoria carry home their guitars, or to the hotel to be exact, and bags of newly shopped vintage clothes. You ask Ethan if there are any cinemas around the area. „We missed out last time, remember.“

The Palazzo Theater is a small and hidden insider tip far from the main street with its busy beach tourists. Under bulbous metal balconies and peach-colored facades, a small entrance with lanterns on each side guides you inward. Ethan almost hits his head, it’s so low. He’s wearing glossy red bottoms under his suit pants, you’re out and about with a 6’2 giant after all — a statue by himself. A small man with a pipe sells you cheap tickets for a Mads Mikkelsen movie and lemonade, Ethan picks up an XXXL caramel popcorn bucket. You think he’s flexing, but you get a sudden heureka by looking at it twice.

Unlike the S, M, and L bags, it’s thick cardboard and drum-shaped. Oh my god, obviously. Which fine percussionist could ever resist such temptation striped in red and white, the sound deep and dull? It makes you smile how Ethan pursues his instrument even when he seemingly doesn’t, it really has to be a hobby at heart. That’s how a job becomes a profession, and a profession a vocation, your uni professor’s other favorite words all over again. The latter’s words have gotten you far so you again trust the insight that came to you through that quote.

Seeing Ethan standing there, you can almost see the childlike joy at imagining it being empty and ready to get turned around. A tuxedo Italian with Louboutin heels and a ginormous popcorn drum, half past eleven somewhere in Palermo: Ingenious combination, you snap a picture. Ethan makes a cute face, posing like a pinup of the 50s. Who knows how many vintage store posters he’s seen during tours, he must have picked it up there. And— Is he blushing? Must be the dim lights in here.

Off you go to the auditorium. Ethan, who balance the popcorn with all care in the world like it’s his baby, walks the aisle slower than you. The slim steps don’t have any floor lighting. Not very heel-friendly, but since it’s not a huge budget theater and few people dare spike heels on those cobblestones outside anyway, the stairs shall be forgiven. You take out your phone and offer your arm. For every gentleman it takes a gentlewoman, duh. Like rock’n’roll and the camera staff, chivalry (or shevalry as Damiano calls it when Vic holds the door open) never dies. He mumbles a thanks, you climb upward to the fourth-last row, Ethan holds on tight.

No ankles twisted and not one popcorn spilled, you get seated on red velvet. The chairs are dated, but nevertheless ultra comfortable. Nobody else is here. The adverts roll, Ethan cracks open the lemonade bottle caps with his chunky golden lighter because he can. You toast to Mads Mikkelsen’s bone structure and good minestrone, Måneskin’s finished title track, the promo pics, and the discovery of Ethan’s favorite new drum. A whopping five things to toast about? The night’s going to be great.

Damiano catwalking across the screen, wearing a Versace skirt in the middle of otherwise-boring commercials does shake you up. He was picked as a testimonial recently. Though, your pulse is high enough. Ethan’s hair is brushing against your shoulders, not to mention his goddamn massive arms. He can’t get out a single word either for the entirety of the ads, avoiding eye contact all over again. Just how much suspense can starting to eat the first popcorn have. Well, you pick two  from the very top and start munching.

Mads does a great job opening the movie as one would expect, but you just can’t concentrate. Instead, you stress-eat popcorn. Which makes Ethan do the same thing, at least he’s somewhat fixated on the screen. After the first ten minutes, he shakes his head. „That makes no sense at all,“ he clears his throat. „Yeah, yeah it  clearly doesn’t,“ you agree, basically on Torchio-autopilot yourself for the lack of a better reply. You were too busy figuring out the components of his aftershave rather than the thin plot. Shifting in your seat, chugging lemonade…

The air conditioning is scarce, but at least the screen is quite large and proper. You try to focus on the cinematography and do small talk about it. If there’s something you can comment on without having followed the string of action, it’s at least this.  You might be nervous, but you’re still a photographer. „Um, isn’t this chainmail nice in the closeup?“ — „Hm, I guess it works. We should ask Damiano to request something like this from Versace.“ — „Medieval Måneskin Rockers?“ — „Something like that.“ — „Hilarious.“

By the twenty-minute mark, the popcorn drum is almost empty. Gladly, that stuff just shrinks to bits in the stomach. The lemonade just has to galvanize it. You might be able to distract yourself with the camera shots and the last caramel chunks, but that doesn’t change Ethan’s long legs and Acqua di Parma perfume next to you. Yep, you finally figured out what it was, it wasn’t the aftershave. And well. Ethan smells like hotel soap from Milano to Napoli and back.

That scent basically dominates all the others besides a hint of cigar and basil and citrus-y deodorant mixed with runny sweat. God fuck, you can barely stand it. And the almond scent. You take a chance to at least jokingly point it out to him. The random movie flashback sequence is boring — and just as nonsensical as before, no offense to Mads though, he’s just walking around in chain mail — enough to deviate from whatever choppy convo you had going on before.

„I actually washed it twice,“ Ethan pulls off the silky scarf that functions as his current tie, and you recognize it. „The strawberry sauce was hard, but the cranberries… God no, I’ll never go near pana cotta again. Nothing against cream desserts.“ You take the scarf, smell it. Did he literally just hand it to you? Figures, he’s sweating bullets, too. And oh shit, he hasn’t talked that much all evening.

You slowly shift from bodies turned to the screen to facing each other. So up close, so up front, only God can help you know. His eyes are dark and reflective of the film’s flickering lights and changing scenes. You wish you could photograph them on sight. It would be as glimmering as your view from the hotel room, overwatching the unobstructed stars of the Mediterranean bay down the boulevard.

But it’s like you’re stuck in your position this way, feverishly thinking about a reply. What to pick up on, what to pick up on. You think about today, the evening where you edited things in his room. „Uh well, drop your laundry in the pool next time,“ you laugh, more than tentative, with your fingers randomly curling around the scarf. „The chlorine stuff will do the job for you. It’s so aggressive, it bleached by pants one shade lighter.“

Saved. Smooth transaction. Phew. „Oh, the pool was horrible. Not the photos, I mean… I don’t know how you can poison water that way.“ — „I know right? It’s still in my nose. But yeah, was a good idea with the underwater thing. The photos turned out really well.“ — „I really haven’t done something like that before but I guess it turned out hm, nice?“ — „Come on! Nice is understated. Are you fishing for compliments?“ — „No no, by all means!“ — „The one kneeling. It’s my favorite. I don’t even know what to do with all these pictures.“

„I don’t know. Maybe keep them?“ — „Keep… for what?“ — „It’s a separate series, right. The art director didn’t request it. Maybe they can be used for something later on during promotions.“ — „Yeah. We’re always a little extracurricular,“ you laugh again, tense in your voice, and empty your lemonade completely. „This, too,“ Ethan points at the theatre in general. „You’re good to talk to. The better version of alone time.“ — „Thank you. You’re great to go out with. I… really like it.“ Beautiful nature scenes show on screen, but they’re nothing but a blur. You take Ethan’s hands in the dark and smile. „Maybe we should do it more often.“

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© submissive-bangtan 2017-2021. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate. all depictions fictional.

[wh6res]

UP IN SMOKES — DOYOUNG

psych student! kdy | tw. college au, violence, a knife, GASLIGHTING, hallucination, psychosis, swearing, just pure manipulation, minor charac death, there's a court scene, this is a repost! | wc. 10k she a beast

life could’ve been simple;

you shouldn't have met kim doyoung.

what does a freshman in college hate the most other than the high-stress levels of moving into a new dorm? a shitty roomie and a smelly, moldy mattress. the girl you call roommate refuses to help move the mattress because it will ruin her new manicure. what a fucking classic. 

"sounds like a 'you' problem. figure it out yourself, plain jane." 

she said before heading out, annoyingly popping her bubblegum as she kicks a few of your scattered boxes by the front door. you roll your eyes; classes haven't even started yet, so why is she already making your life miserable? as much as you'd like to snap at her, you don't, merely glaring daggers at her back as she finally turns the corner of the hallway and disappears. 

"bitch," you mutter under your breath. 

you eye the abomination that is supposed to be your bed, cursing how you shouldn't have made a 15-minute pit stop to starbucks for a drink when you could've just bought one from the instant coffee vending machines in every corner of the hallway of this dorm building because if you didn't, maybe you could've beaten regina george wannabe from taking the better bed. sighing, you suck it up and start getting to work. life's full of shit, anyway; no point sulking.

moving a moldy mattress is easier than you thought, to say the least. you can't ask for help from the other freshmen you bumped into in the hallway because they, too, are under a huge amount of stress from the move and are busy getting their affairs in order. it was a good thing, though, that a committee was formed specifically for this day to help out the freshmen if they were to stumble upon problems or mishaps with moving in. they were all around the campus, and they prove to be way friendlier than your batch mates. since this morning, three people have already offered help in carrying your luggage — which you have politely declined.

"hey, uhm… is this the stall for the welcoming committee? oh, wait. i'm sorry, there's a sign right there —"ugh.

you mentally shut your eyes in humiliation. why do you have to be this bad, this awkward at communicating with strangers? why couldn't you be born like all those socialites who already (probably) got their contacts filled with new numbers on the first day of school or something?

"yeah, this is them — welcoming committee, i mean. how can i help you?" he smiles, sweet, radiating the epitome boy next door aura as he looks up at you from where he's sitting behind the stall. your eyes quickly land onto the name tag stuck on his varsity jacket before meeting his eyes again. 

"i have an issue with my mattress. it has mold, you see..." your voice slowly trails, becoming quieter as you feel small under the weight of his piercing stare. oh, come on. he's just a guy with a beautiful face, woman the fuck up.

"really? let me see..."

he needn't finish rounding the stall when his nose is hit by the pungent smell brought forth by your mattress. frankly, you weren't that picky. you could've covered it with bedsheets and call it a day, but the odor is too strong to ignore. you mentally hope the smell didn't latch onto your clothes, especially not when someone so cute is around — what a bad first impression.

"oh, god!" he exclaims the moment he lays eyes on it, taking a step back. “now, that has to go. and you lugged it from the fourth floor?" 

ah, yes. according to tradition in these dormitories, which you've only found out today, freshmen get the curse of climbing four flights of stairs up while the seniors strut into their rooms on the ground floor like the hallway is a goddamned runway. 

"doyoung! help me carry these!"

someone calls his name as you both turn your head to spot a chestnut-haired girl clad in the same varsity jacket he's wearing. you grimace at the sight of her. for someone so small, she just had to volunteer to carry all those heavy bags. however, he doesn't move in front of you and brushes her off as if she doesn't look like she's carrying rocks over her shoulders. "i'm already helping someone else! go find taeyong or something. i'm sure that shit's loitering around here somewhere!"

"oh, it's okay, you can go help her. i'll just look for someone else —"

"nah, it's fine!" you try hard to school your face into indifference when you notice his gummy smile. "plus… trust me when i say no other person from the committee will help you with this. this shit smells like my roommate's sweaty basketball socks!"

you can't help the smile forming on your face as you help him carry the mattress off to the side of the hallway, the stinky thing leaning vertically against the wall and behind a huge terracotta plant pot. "don't worry, let's report it to student affairs so they'll get you a new one. congrats! you'll have to share beds with your new roommate tonight, freshie. it'd be a great ice breaker."

the universe truly hates you.

your expression must've been a dead give away because he's suddenly patting your shoulder, regarding you with utmost sympathy. "been there, done that. i hated taeyong, too, when i met him last year. still, for some mind fuck of a miracle, we've grown to be friends and developed a talent of not wanting to kill each other every two seconds."

"highly doubt i'd be friends with a regina george-level bitch, but thanks, anyway," you mutter under your breath. suddenly, you whip your head towards him after internalizing what he just said. "you met your roommate last year? you're a sophomore?"

he scoffs, leaning down to your height to lowly mutter against your ear as he eyes the lobby's front desk. "why? do i look like some 4th year who radiates 'don't touch me' energy?" 

you feel the heat on your cheeks with how close he is, only releasing an exhale when he finally gets out of your personal space. "i'm kim doyoung. you've heard it from wendy earlier, but anyway — i'm a 2nd-year psych major."

"no way!" you exclaim, a little too excited. "i'm taking psych, too!"

"oh, you are? well, if you need anything or if you don't understand stuff…" he winks. "feel free to approach me anytime."

hmm… how sweet of him. 

it was only hours later that you found out who kim doyoung is in your department during the acquaintance party. and for god's sake, you found out from your best friend who is a major in english lit and has never even seen the guy. "seriously, you didn't know he's a genius? i hear the professors call him a prodigy, girl! a fucking prodigy. if i were you, i'd ask for his help in every subject."

"you know i prefer keeping to myself. how'd i know stuff like that when i have no one to talk to in the psych dorms?" you look down, making the ice cubes in your drink clink against each other. "i didn't think he was this big shot or whatever. he looks normal, and everyone treats him normally."

"well, what do you expect?" she hisses, hitting your arm. "the other students don't want to make him feel alienated or something just because he's tons smarter than them. but anyway… the real question is…"

you roll your eyes when she pauses for effect, tentatively leaning closer to whisper under her breath. 

"is he cute?"

you didn't want to answer her question, but he's been stuck in your head since he offered walking with you to the student affairs office. doyoung had smiled his cute gummy smile and had even ruffled your hair before leaving you for committee duties — saying he's cute would be an understatement. 

"you have no idea."

for his first act;

he gains your trust.

fast forward to one year, many things have changed, but the only constant remaining is the handsome sophomore — who is now a 3rd-year, by the way — whom you've met on your first day. coursework has been pretty tough this year. instead of the content written in your textbook, your mind is plagued by the horrible twist of fate your best friend had encountered; she didn't have enemies. or so you thought.

she disappeared in the middle of christmas break last year. her beaten up body was found only a month later, in january, floating around the university's lake. happy fucking new year. 

the first time she chose to spend the holidays with you instead of her family back in her hometown, and that happens? some rotten luck you both have. it's why you didn't put it past her family to hate your guts with strong convictions. it's okay. the feeling's mutual. after all, it had been your best friends' own family, the same ones who had been so willing to take you in when you got kicked out, that were so eager to pin you as the murderer of their child. all under the argument that you have been the last person seen with her. 

oh, the things her mom said about you when she had stormed into the police station, red in the face, tears streaming down her cheeks..."i warned my baby not to hang out with that — that bitch. came straight out of a cursed family, that one. abusive dad, a nutjob mom. that bitch is a danger! probably got her dad's nasty temper and beat my baby to death! i want her on the electric chair!"

in those times, you once again realize this world is fucked up and cruel in every bit of its glory as you fought tooth and nail to defend yourself. but even then, they never believed you — the law will only favor the rich . the prosecution had been so sure it was you until a certain witness appeared and presented himself before the jury.

"do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" 

doyoung raises his right hand, fixing his stare straight at the judge. "i solemnly and sincerely declare that the evidence i shall give will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

"how long have you known the defendant?" the prosecutor asks, arms crossed in front of her chest as she paces in front of the witness stand.

the boy briefly meets your gaze, and it's enough to make his heart sink. doyoung can't bear seeing you in those grey overalls when he knows it himself. you're being accused of a crime you didn't commit. "i've known her for one year."

"how'd you meet?"

and the questions went on and on; your defense attorney isn't all too keen on winning the case and had never once yelled "objection!" in her seat, but what could you expect? all the evidence kept stacking against you, and some of those you knew were even fabricated. you've never felt this hopeless in your whole twenty years of living. 

"what's the point in this, anyway?" doyoung snapped in the witness stand, fiercely glaring at the prosecutor. "how is my history — or lack thereof — with the defendant any relevant to the case? you're not even asking me about evidence nor what my statement is!"

"easy there," the prosecutor retaliates, jaw locked. "i have to first measure what exactly your relationship is with the defendant for us to think twice about your statement. who knows..." the prosecutor makes a grand gesture of turning her head in your direction, affixing you with a condescending stare. "she might've just hired you to say these things."

your attorney doesn't come to your aid.

"perjury isn't my thing." 

the prosecutor seems to have taken offense by the tone of doyoung's voice, but he doesn't let her speak further. "the victim isn't all sunshine and rainbows, you know. she'd been a part of a sorority and one with quite a nasty reputation in the college, too. i have to say she made very poor decisions, ones i'm sure her family didn't even know about. you see, they take their oaths and pledges very seriously. the victim wanted out. they didn't like that."

"and you have evidence to support this claim?"

without a moment to waste, he digs around the front pocket of his jeans before proudly presenting a black usb between his slender fingers. "knock yourself out."

the professor calls your name, snapping you out of your reverie. this isn't the first time your mind had transported you back to that particular day in the courtroom, where doyoung had swooped in and saved you from a lifetime in prison. the whole ordeal had been so scary, so frightening that you remember everything vividly as if it had only happened yesterday.

the classroom is empty. even your social psych professor has long packed up his stuff and is already standing by the classroom door. damn. were you that out of it?

"i'm so sorry." you mutter under your breath monotonously as you walk past him and out the door without another word. this is bad, very bad. no one would help, much less lend their notes to someone charged with murder — especially of their very own best friend. whether you were innocent or not doesn't matter to the student body. you've been ostracized, gossips of your problematic family spreading like wildfire, and the ridiculous part is only a fourth of the gossips are true.

the damage is done. 

at this point, you realize with a heavy heart that you have to face doyoung again sooner or later. you haven't talked to him at all since the start of the new school year, ignoring his lighthearted greetings in the hallways, rejecting his calls, ghosting his texts. you are afraid people would judge him harshly for hanging around you. frankly, you were embarrassed to ask any more favors from him with how much he's done for you already and the fact that he had seen you in such a state of vulnerability.

but you also didn't want to fail your subjects and lose the one thing holding your life together — your scholarship.

that is why you found yourself standing before him, in his favorite spot in the library tucked behind shelves upon shelves of books, next to the windows overlooking the empty football field. he's wearing black-rimmed glasses and is clad in the usual navy blue sweater as his head turns to and fro between a textbook and his notebook. the air had been so silent, you hear the aggressive scratches his pencil makes against the paper.

you feel a little hurt when he makes no move to acknowledge your presence, but you think back to what you have been doing and figured he has a right to act this way. 

"hey, doyoung." your voice is meek, hesitant.

"if you're not here to explain nor give me an acceptable reason why you've been ignoring me for the last few months, then please get out of my sight. i'm busy, as you can tell." he is brutally honest, knocking down the remaining hope you have left of ever reconciling with him.

something within you snaps, the steady streams of tears running down your cheeks as you pinned your stare on doyoung's open pencil case lying on the table. you have nobody left. your family — father, specifically speaking — has disowned you for taking a course your heart wanted, and the one friend you have lies motionless in a white coffin buried six feet under the ground. you didn't want to lose doyoung, too, no matter what role he plays in your life.

"i'm sorry," your voice cracks. "life's been… fucking shitty, and i'm sure you of all people know what i've been through. i've thanked you before for — for what you did, and i'm thanking you again right now but — i'm sorry, i'm really —"

your voice cracks when you feel him pulling you into an embrace. you feel the tension in your body breaking loose as you crumble in his arms. all those months grieving and wallowing in self-pity took such a heavy toll that you can't help but tightly clutch the sides of his hoodie, scared he'll slip through your fingers.

one of his hands comes up to push your face against the crook of his neck, muffling your cries in the silent library. doyoung felt like a jerk for snapping at you the way he did. how inconsiderate can he be? however, he felt elated because you sought him out yourself and wanted his help of all people.

his eyebrow raises in amusement. 

well, not that you have a choice, anyway.

it took you a few good minutes to calm down, cringing when you see the wet patch on doyoung's sweater because of your tears. 

"why don't you tell me everything, hmm? i'll help you as much as i can."

you sheepishly look down, fiddling with your fingers as you sit across him, the open textbook and notebook before him long forgotten. "well, i've been so out of it lately? my mind's just a whole bloody mess and i can't focus on any of my subjects at all and if i can't, then i'll lose the scholarship and it's the only thing i have in my life right now —"

"hey," doyoung cuts you off, placing a warm hand against your forearm to calm you down. "you won't lose that scholarship. trust me, okay? why don't we arrange tutoring sessions and i'll even lend you some of my notes from last year. what do you think?"

"okay... thank you, doyoung."

"for the record, you have me in your life, too. i'll always be here for you."

in the first session, you woke up from your deep slumber with only 15 minutes to spare from the scheduled time, but thankfully, your tutor only lives one floor down with the rest of the 3rd-years. bringing nothing with you but a pen and a pad of paper, your textbooks were destroyed as some students from your batch thought it'd be fun to throw them into the lake to "honor" your friend. 

you offer a small smile when taeyong opens the door, sporting an oversized shirt and track pants, eyes wide in shock when he sees you. "hi? can i help you?"

"hello! i'm here for doyoung. he's tutoring —"

"he doesn't live here anymore. his mom bought him a place outside the campus."

what?

"i'm sorry for disturbing you, then. do you by any chance know where he lives?"

that's weird. doyoung never mentioned he's already moved out. you feel a wee bit irritated that he forgot to tell you; it would've saved you the embarrassment of interacting with the varsity player. you weren't stupid, you can see the hints of repulsion in taeyong's eyes the moment he opened that door and saw you standing before him, no doubt thinking about: oh, look, it's the crazy murderer with a fucked up family standing in front of me.

he had shut the door in your face. you stood awkwardly for a good minute in the hallway until the door reopens, taeyong handing you a small piece of paper with doyoung's new address scribbled hurriedly in black ink. he doesn't give you a chance to thank him for he's already closed the door again without another word. 

you opted walking to his place instead of catching a ride because the money you have on you is enough to buy yourself dinner. to say the least, the apartment building is mediocre, not too grand, nor is it too rundown. double-checking the floor level written on the paper before pushing the elevator's button, you then realize doyoung lives on the very top floor of the building.

the hallways are painted a boring brown. some acrylic number signs plastered on the doors are broken, hanging vertically with one screw left. it says on the paper he resides in room 720. taking the right hallway, you mentally count as you eye the mahogany doors. 718… 719… there it is!

when you raise a fist to start knocking on his door, there is a tinge of hesitation surging through you. perhaps being alone with a boy in his apartment is not the best setting for a girl like you should end up in, but this is doyoung we're talking about. if he had ill intentions for you, it would've manifested a long time ago. you shake your head, feeling bad for thinking of him that way as you slowly knock on his front door. not long after, it swings open, revealing the 3rd-year in a white shirt and boxers as he lazily dries his hair off with a small towel. 

"you're late," is the first thing he says to you before spinning on his heel to disappear further into his humble abode. 

"you didn't exactly inform me you've moved out of the dorms. so, whose fault is it?" you retaliate, inviting yourself in and closing the front door shut.

"whatever. let's get started!" he plops himself on the floor, coffee table filled with loose papers as he struggles to find a specific one amongst the mess. "i've already scanned, exported to pdf, and emailed you my notes. it should be in your inbox by now. anyway, answer this quiz i made so i know what i'll be working on."

"you didn't really have to send your notes, doyoung. i could've just read everything from the textbook," you sit down across from him because otherwise, you'll be too distracted to remember information. 

a thought crosses his mind. with what textbook?

"i just think it's missing some essence. that's why i love reading over other psych books in the library for fun. be grateful, those notes are like my babies and i don't simply give them to anyone," he looks at you pointedly. "they've all been summarized and explained in layman's terms so you wouldn't have to spend grueling hours of reading and trying to make sense of the big words as i did — i know that's not the definition of 'fun' normally, but it is for me, and that's why i do it."

"okay, doyoung. you sound so defensive when there's nothing to be defensive about," you tease, feeling pleased with the hint of red on his cheeks as he averts his gaze from yours, muttering incoherent words under his breath.

you spent the following tuesdays, thursdays, and sundays like that; hours upon hours with no one but your tutor, laptops with tangled chargers, a printed copy of his babies, and a mountain pile of loose papers filled with the specialized quizzes doyoung makes to measure your progress. the location varies from a cafe or his flat. but in what you've gathered from the time you spent with him, doyoung's a homebody. cafe tutor sessions are rare, and he always complained about how "noisy" the atmosphere was — "i can't stand it."

but the conversation hadn't always been about academics. 

sure, for the first few sessions, doyoung kept an image of professionalism and had heavily insisted on it — "it's for your learning experience!" — despite your lighthearted teasing. but as time passed and he eventually grew more comfortable in your presence, you find the strict 15-minute break he had initially imposed between 45 minutes of studying turned into hours of talking about whatever; how he likes his eggs in the morning, your favorite coffee brew, his favorite show, your strongest pet peeve. 

and you wholly welcomed the change, not minding that it's practically dark out whenever you go back to your miserable dorm. you feel butterflies in your stomach whenever doyoung offers to walk you home but never had you taken his offer, still cautious of other people seeing you both together despite his constant reassurances. you've already thoroughly ruined your image. you didn't want to ruin his, too. 

kdy the cute tutor, 2:14 pm —last day of midterms! & its all majors today  —good luck —remember what i taught u —lets get ice cream after u cant say no

you shake your head bemusedly. his texting style is the most doyoung thing he does and it's as if you can hear him say these things to you in real life. too caught up in your own world, you fail to detect another student sitting next to you and had nearly fallen off your chair in shock when they spoke.

"why are your notes like that?"

you fight the urge to glare at the person, especially when you turn your head and see lee jeno looking at you in genuine curiosity. he's the only batchmate that treats you a wee bit nicer among the rest. although he isn't technically your friend, at least he doesn't look at you like you're a piece of bubblegum stuck under his shoe like all the others.

"what do you mean?"

"they're… the definitions are all jumbled up. where did you even get that?" 

what? jumbled up? doyoung himself said these notes are a combination of most of the psychology books he had read last year concerning his subjects. how would it be jumbled up? then again, lee jeno was not tutored by the prodigy himself. maybe things are bound to seem "jumbled up" when information is too great to understand for a feeble mind. 

just as you were about to claim these notes aren't yours, the professor has already waltzed into the classroom with a thick wad of papers — the exams. after one last concerned glance directed your way, jeno averts his gaze with a confused tilt of the head. 

hours later, you walk out of the classroom with the biggest smile on your face. aced it, you thought. your hands feel numb with how much you wrote on the essay portion but it's worth it if it meant you get the full 25 points, which you no doubt will as it was a topic you surely tackled with doyoung. speaking of... he sure is a man of his word.

"what are you doing here?" you hiss, head ducked with hair framing your face as to not draw attention from the rest of the students filing out of the testing hall.

"i texted you that we're getting ice cream. remember?"

"i did. but i didn't remember agreeing."

he shoots you a comforting smile, planting his hands firmly on your shoulder. “i told you, y/n. i don't care if they all see us together, so what? we all know you didn't commit that crime and it wasn't your fault you were born into the family you had. i don't care about the trivial things, baby, so don't shy away from me, okay?"

how the fuck can you say 'no' when he's looking at you the way he is as he brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear? doyoung's just so bewitching that he has you wrapped around his slender fingers. he seems pleased when you stumbled over your words as you come up with a reply, caught off guard by his bold gestures.

"i just — you, uhh — fine..." you gave in, rolling your eyes out of pretense.

he just had to call you 'baby' and erupt the butterflies in your stomach.

it had been doing that for the last few months now and it had only truly manifested today when he took you out for ice cream to celebrate the end of hell week. and since you didn't want to go back to your dorm yet, you asked if you guys can watch some movies in his house but it had simply become background noise to your heart-to-heart talks. and what better accompaniment than the classic, chicken and beer?

you listen to him drone on and on about the little realizations he had on some of his past lectures even when you barely understood anything he's saying. doyoung's so lucky to be extremely good at something he's so passionate about, talks about the human mind and the complexity of a person's behavior will never fail to make his eyes light up in interest.

he calls out your name.

your eyes snap open.

"why don't we get you home? it's past 10 and it's alright, stupid, you don't need to pretend to be interested in my psychological findings." he chuckled light-heartedly, stealing the can of the now room-temperature beer from your hands before you can protest. 

"i wasn't dozing off, i swear."

"i caught you in the act. stop lying."

like all the other times he has you as his guest, doyoung once again offers to walk you home and you decline for the thousandth time. it really isn't that much of a long walk anyway. you don't see the need for him to go out of his way to secure your safety. plus, you were the one who insisted on hanging out in his house anyway. you weren't that thick-skinned to let him take you home, too.

"you're drunk!" he scolds.

“no, i’m not. i can perfectly handle myself."

"but —"

"bye!" 

you feel a little guilty for shutting the door in his face. still, a minute longer of his persistence and you would've taken his offer. unfortunately for doyoung, you are one stubborn girl. only if you don't make brisk movements with your head, then you won't see doubles. you'll be fine, it's just a quick walk and it's not as if you're stupid enough to pass by deserted alleys. 

but you had underestimated the divine prowess of your fucked up fate.

everything happened in a matter of three seconds; one, the blinding headlights illuminate your path from behind; two, you hear the loud honk, and as you turn around — three, the vehicle sends you rolling against the asphalt.

you should have taken the alleyways.

for his second act;

he alters your reality.

when you open your eyes, you thought you were dead and your spirit is wandering elsewhere — because you don't believe in trivial things like heaven and god — until an agitated doyoung comes into view. for a split second, you thought, is he dead, too?

"i'm not dead, you idiot." too dazed, you hardly register his anger. "i can perfectly handle myself, she said. i'm not drunk, she said. this wouldn't have happened if you had simply let me walk you home! you're damn fucking lucky you're alive and breathing right now!"

a person clears their throat.

"i don't think it wise to… nag at the patient the moment she wakes. don't you agree, sir?"

pink splotches on doyoung's cheek as he looks down, embarrassed at getting scolded as he stands closer to your bed. "i'm sorry, doc."

you didn't know when your vision cleared or when you started hearing normally again, but it was enough to find out what exactly had transpired on the very night of your tragic accident. a hit and run. fifty-fifty chance of surviving. doyoung getting a call from the hospital in the middle of the night —"they were trying to contact your dad, but he wasn't answering. i was the last person in your call history." 

six months in a coma. but today, you wake… only to find out your world has crashed and burned.

"what do you mean i lost my scholarship?"

"baby, listen to me —"

"why did they take it away? is it because of my accident? i'm behind by one term only and i swear i can catch up. they need to let me back in the program. there must've been some mistake —"

"your gpa didn't reach the cut-off grade."

that can't be possible.

"but you tutored me!" you claim with conviction, pointing an accusatory finger at him until you groan, bowing in pain as you clutch your head.

doyoung springs into action. the chair's legs screech against the tiles as he jumps to your aid, ushering you gently back against the hospital bed despite your refusal. "you're not well. lay back down, please."

you don't hear a single word he says, not when you had lost something so crucial. "i put in the effort and learned everything you taught me... i aced those fucking mid-terms! i know i did!" you were on the brink of tearing up as doyoung settled himself in front of you.

"i… i actually saw your papers," his lips set in a thin, hard-line. "everything was all wrong, sweetheart. what happened to you? i tried reasoning with the professors, mentioned your state — you know, with your best friend dying — but they didn't relent. i'm sorry y/n. i'm so —"

gone. everything is gone. the money. the dorm. what if they ask you to pay the fees from last year? what if they ask you to pay the tuition fee for this year? you have no money, no family, no relatives. no one to help. who's even going to pay for the hospital fees?

you weren't able to process anything after that. not with the sudden news of your now revoked scholarship. doyoung pulls you in a tight hug. "i was a bad tutor," he says, snapping you out of it. "maybe i shouldn't have pushed you that hard to learn them. why were your answers even mixed up y/n? i thought you knew those topics already…"

he pulls away, observing your confused state as your eyes dart everywhere in the room. "what — how are they mixed up? i know i got them right. there has to be some mistake. you taught me those topics, remember?"

"i did... "he averts his gaze. "but i don't remember teaching them to you mixed up, darling. i think you did that all on your own."

"but… why would i mix up my answers? that's —"

"see, what i mean?" he cuts you off, raising a hand to give your cheek the most delicate caress. "you're not well, baby. you need to be treated, especially with how much you hit your head during the accident. don't worry, i'm here. we'll try asking if you can stay in the dorms at least until you find another place —"

"am i a charity case to you?"

oh, the surprise on the junior's face when you push him away as you pin him with a hard stare. you just don't get it. why is kim doyoung so adamant about helping you? in becoming your hero, even when you never asked him to be? if you let him help you this time around, that'll be the 3rd time he came to save your ass. it's not as if you're ungrateful. simply, you've had enough of his help. you don't know how a person like you, who literally has nothing, can return the favor to someone like doyoung.

"what are you saying —"

"i'm saying…" you fix him a hard stare. "you helping me out doesn't even benefit you in the slightest. so why do you do it?"

he pauses, staring at you with hesitance in his eyes as this seems to be the very first time you've truly seen him speechless. when doyoung opens his mouth, he mumbles, and you hardly make sense of what he said. 

"do you really want to know why?" 

you urge him on with an arched eyebrow, his softened tone creeping into your heart. 

"you're someone special to me y/n. i don't know how or when i admitted it to myself, but you are, and it hurts me to see how shitty your luck is," he cracks a small grin, slowly settling back onto the hospital bed as he grabs your hand. "it's okay to seek help from others. it isn't a sign of vulnerability or weakness. i help you because i want to, and i'm more than willing to take care of you. will you let me?"

you're not blind. you've noticed the way he had slowly started coming closer as he continued to speak, hands held securely in his as he looked straight at your eyes then down at your lips. and so, you act in a way you know that will surely answer his question — with a kiss. 

the man before you immediately reciprocates, overpowering your own eagerness as he curls the tips of his fingers into the roots of your hair. he pulls you close, cradling you against his chest. you can taste his desperation in the way his tongue dances against yours, the kiss transporting you into an alternate reality where your world revolves around doyoung and doyoung alone. 

when he pulls away bleary-eyed, both of you ignore the thin strand of saliva connecting your lips. "how about you come live with me for the time being, my love?"

still high off his kiss and natural scent, you hardly mull over the question he asks you. "okay."

days later, after you've been discharged (he wanted to chip in for your hospital bills but you had given him a firm no), doyoung had been the one to show up at the dorm to collect all your things after leaving you in his apartment. the cutie had refused to simply drop you off and had deliberately accompanied you up the elevator, through the halls, and finally into his apartment. 

"i'll be out for just a minute, sugarcube."

"oh, can you get take out?"

doyoung had smiled, playfully booping the tip of your nose. "no, because i'll be cooking for us tonight as a little celebration for you getting discharged. you'll love it; i'm making your favorite!"

it was funny how the night had been nothing but utter bliss. the foreign feeling of being taken care of sprouting in your chest as you watch him cooking from behind the counter. it felt… nice. but funny enough, as if doing a 360, you both had immediately gotten into an argument the next day. 

"i don't see the need for skipping another day if i feel perfectly fine! i'll figure something out once we get there, doyoung, so can we just —"

"you' re not fine, babylove — hell, you got discharged yesterday! i'm not just about to let you back into the arena with those students. they've only grown more immature since your coma, love. i seriously don't want you near them."

"fine! then i won't talk to them. simple." you throw your hands up. "there. problem solved. now, can we please just go to uni? i need to talk to the dean and the head of student affairs, too —"

"i'm going to uni, not you."

maybe it had been the way he firmly stated his claim, the way his eyes pierced through your soul as if daring you to argue further with him that made you snap.

"i'm not a prisoner in this apartment, doyoung! don't treat me like i have the plague! i'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself — jesus christ, i've been doing it nearly half my fucking life!"

too caught up in your anger, you've failed to notice the tears pouring down his face as he sets his gaze on the floor. 

"you're right," his voice cracks. "i shouldn't be pushy like that. i'm sorry. you just mean so much to me and i'm so scared of losing you again. with your coma — i just — it's like i was fighting a losing battle each day that passed when i saw you in that hospital bed. i've never felt so scared in my whole life and i hated myself for not being able to protect you that night."

his tears run like waterfalls, and when you step forward with your arms wide open, doyoung sobs harder as he pulls you against him. you hardly comprehend what he says as he spoke, shaking against your frail body as you felt his tears stain your blouse. "i'm sorry, i never should've dictated what you felt — i'm so sorry."

"no, it's okay. i was feeling a little lightheaded, anyway. i'll stay here and i can come back to school next semester, right? doyoung? just… please stop crying."

he lifts his head, staring at you with bloodshot eyes before giving your forehead a kiss. you let a relieved sigh escape your lips, melting into his warmth as you prop your chin on his shoulder. if you had only been more attentive, you would've seen the reflection of his wicked grin on the tabletops. too easy.

living with him became a blur after that incident. everything fell into a routine for the next four days as you spent the day watching netflix, eating, reading, sleeping. nothing felt fun anymore. but your peaceful life had ceased during the fifth night — the whispers, they woke you up. you can hear them from behind your door at night, and when you rouse awake, you see doyoung walking around the hallway from the tiny gap at the bottom of the door. you had sighed, falling back into your plush bed as you pray to god, he keeps it down. 

but what he told you the next day rendered you speechless. "me, walking around the hallways? whispers?" he says, confused. "i was already asleep, love. knocked out cold the moment my body fell on the bed."

"but…"

he doesn't spare you a glance as he takes his sweet time skimming through his notes on the dining table, coffee in one hand. "maybe it's just the meds kicking in."

"no, surely it was real! i literally woke up in the middle of the night," you repeat. "it's okay if it was you, doyoung. i'm not mad."

he sets his coffee mug down a little too loud. 

"well, you can't be mad at me, sugar, because like i said — it wasn't me," it doesn't take a genius to notice he's awfully cranky today. you observe him, dark half-moons under his eyes as he relentlessly reads his notes with instant coffee in one hand. 

"you're just imagining things, okay? stop acting crazy."

for some reason, the way he had uttered certain words like 'imagining' and 'crazy' made you curl into your seat in embarrassment. he was right that your doctor did prescribe a generous amount of pills per day, but his tone made it feel off, made you feel like there was something wrong with you even when there wasn't… 

right?

you didn't say a word after that and had hesitantly pecked him on the cheek before he left for school. with the amount of time you're with him, two things stood out to you — his keen sense of observation and his knack for reading people. you highly doubt he didn't notice a shift in your behavior but a part of you thinks it's just the stress talking. he is about to take his finals and had recently started on his research paper. 

every psych student is required to present a paper in accordance with the department's annual theme. it could be anything from proposing a theory (if you dare) to constructing a well-developed psychology model. if you don't turn one in, you don't graduate — the paper's that important, and you've been bugging him for so long about sneaking a peek on what his study is about. but he always refused. 

the next week came rolling around, and both of you had been spending every day together due to the semestral break. the arguments have significantly lessened, but your episodes — eventually, you started calling it that way because that's how doyoung labels it — have only gotten worse. you end up moving out of the guest room and into his. privacy be damned. the whispers stopped momentarily but what came next became your imminent downfall.

the first time you heard it, you thought you were dreaming. but the doorknob kept rattling aggressively even as you sat up. just as you climb off the bed, your half-asleep boyfriend asks where you're going. 

"bathroom," you lied.

you were always the one to snort when it comes to the supernatural, claiming it's all bullshit. yet, as whatever outside continues to fight its way inside the room, the rattling progressing into loud bangs against the door, you're not so sure of your beliefs anymore. you're not crazy. nothing is wrong with you, and you're perfectly fine. this apartment is cursed, and you are going to prove that to doyoung.

grabbing your phone from the bedside table, you turn the flash on, pointing the camera at the door as you take a footage of the mad entity that has been playing games with you. a squeal escapes your lips when a particular bang! reverberates louder in the room than all the others. the phone slips your hand, falling onto the floorboards. you don't bother to retrieve it as you scramble to get yourself back under the blanket and into doyoung's comfortable warmth.

you snuggle yourself plush against his chest, shaking as you wrap your arms around his waist, inhaling his natural scent to anchor you back. 

bang! bang! bang!

you didn't get a wink of sleep last night.

"can't the video wait? there's a new episode of start-up, and i want to watch it already!" he whines, shoving his face further on the throw pillow situated on your lap.

you giggle, shaking your head as you scroll through your gallery to find the video. i'm not imagining things. i'm not hallucinating. i'm not crazy. "here! watch... i'm telling you this apartment is haunted, and the ghost probably likes you, which is why it doesn't bother you —"

your lighthearted rambling cuts off when you notice no sound emitting from your phone. weird. you could've sworn you started recording right when the loud banging has already started. your heart drops upon the wary stare doyoung shoots you before he continues to watch the video. 

no, no, no, no — please!

you quickly scoot over to his side, watching as the video unfolds before your very eyes. the shot was messy as the phone was handheld, not to mention you were panicking at the time. but the video is silent. not a single noise of a rattling doorknob or banging on the door can be heard through your phone's speakers. 

"maybe — maybe you didn't turn the volume up?"

you hardly contain the mortification in your face when you realize the volume's at 100 already. and as if on cue, your squeal is heard in the video and the noise of the phone hitting the floor.

doyoung's silence shakes your whole being. as you kneel before him teary-eyed, your voice breaks. "i swear, i'm not crazy."

but at this point, you don't believe yourself anymore.

for his third and final act;

he triumphs.

his deprivation began in minuscule ripples. 

it didn't take much effort on doyoung's end to convince you to stop studying for a year or two, at least, only until your hallucinations aren't as severe anymore. everyday felt like hell on earth as the fine line between what's real and what isn't has blurred over one too many times. in sheer paranoia of accidentally hurting him in his sleep, you moved out of his bedroom and had started sleeping in the guest room again — much to doyoung's frustration. 

but he's a smart man, one that recognizes an opportunity amidst the hurdles thrown on his path.

"why does my door need a lock outside again?"

he approaches you, who’s sitting cross-legged on the bed, after screwing in the last of the screws that came with the new doorknob. doyoung is familiar with the look written on your face, has observed and studied you enough to navigate his way inside your pretty little head with ease.

he can't have you doubting him, can he?

"you know i'm all about protecting you, right?" he starts. you nodded. "i've been doing it for a year now, and i will continue to do so until you need me to. the world is a bad place, sweetheart, remember? your own best friend's mother tried framing you. your dad disowned you. you've been ostracized in the whole college... do you think i'm just like the rest of them, baby?"

doyoung has already mastered the perfect expression of a kicked-puppy, one that easily pulls at your heartstrings and has you cooing at him.

"no!" you say with conviction, reaching forward to thread your fingers through his. "i know you're different, not like any of them at all. i know you're only doing what's… best for me."

he ignores the underlying hesitance in your tone. that will be corrected, sooner or later.

doyoung tightens his hold as he kisses the back of your hand. such an innocent gesture — but such ill intentions.

"the outside lock helps me in protecting you, love. you don't need to worry about anything. just focus on getting better, alright? i'll keep the bad guys away from you."

it was during his first semester of senior year, a few months back, doyoung and a good few students of his batch had been granted the opportunity to intern for a mental hospital located near the edge of the city. he was supposed to decline the offer but you convinced him to take the spot. it had only been a two-week “job” yet it was enough for doyoung to conclude — he’d rather kill you than subject you to the horrors of what the patients have to go through in the loony bin. 

eventually, the small ripples shift into unforgiving waves, dragging you into the depths as everything comes crashing down before your very own eyes.

it should have been like any other day inside the apartment. doyoung's already gone in the morning to attend classes. though not before setting a tray of your brunch on the nightstand, making sure to lock your door on his way out. he knew your nightmares and anxiety kept you up at night, resulting in longer hours of sleep during the day. 

turns out, you moving out of his bedroom had been a blessing in disguise. coming home to an empty apartment has become his biggest fear yet, and you unconsciously found a solution for him. one that doesn’t have him fidgeting on his seat as he counts down the minutes ‘til he’s back by your side.

doyoung smiles unconsciously as he listens to his professor drone on and on in front of him — his mind at peace, knowing you're safe and sound in your little prison.

until he received a text that made his blood run cold.

ty, 11:34 am —im done.

meanwhile, you rouse awake once more to thunderous poundings against your bedroom door. oh no, you thought. it's happening again. this time, there'll be no doyoung barging into your room, half-asleep and hair messy, as he tries to calm you down. you throw the blankets over you as you sob, hugging your legs against your chest as you try to 'wake yourself up' from the hallucination.

the person outside calls for your name, the desperation in their tone alighting a new-found fear in your heart. you don't know what's real anymore. is this truly happening, or is it another hallucination your fucked up mind has conjured up?

"please! it's taeyong! y/n, can you hear me?"

taeyong?

slowly, your head peaks above the blanket, warily staring at the door. doyoung has warned you about these kinds of things, has practically ingrained in your mind that whoever comes looking for you will take you away from him. not to mention, doyoung slipped one time and said he isn’t friends with taeyong anymore.

the banging on the door progresses.

“are you in there? answer me! i can’t find the key!”

you don’t say anything, merely pushing the covers off your body as you keep your eyes fixed on the beating door. it looks like it’s about to pop out its hinges as taeyong relentlessly fights his way inside your room. what are you going to do? do you open the door? oh. right. you can’t do that on your own accord. the key is with doyoung and he isn’t in the apartment at the moment.

all your thoughts come to a halt when the boy outside sends the door flying open, finally breaking the lock with one powerful kick. you flinch back, his actions pushing you on your feet, wanting to place a maximum amount of distance from the intruder. 

taeyong looks frantic, disheveled as he immediately notices your alarmed state. he approaches you cautiously, hands up to show his empty palms. “hey, hey… it’s just me, y/n. i’m not going to hurt you. i’m not the enemy here.”

“doyoung doesn’t know you’re here, does he?”

the look of surprise on his face is an answer in itself. for someone doyoung had proudly claimed to have “broken” you’re still quite quick to catch up on things, taeyong observed. and he doesn’t know what to feel about it — pity? guilt?

“that’s not important!” he claims, boldly surging forward to grasp your shoulders with a firm grip. taeyong felt his heart dropping when you flinch under his grasp. 

“listen to me. we need to get you out of here. doyoung isn’t — he isn’t everything you thought he is!” he can’t help but raise his voice, panic surging through him because there’s not much time left and you aren’t exactly cooperating. you’ve been trying to shrug off his hold the whole time. 

“do you think he actually loves you?”

“he does! stop saying bullshit!”

“doyoung never loved anyone and you want to know why? because he’s too in love with his research to care for anything else!” taeyong felt bad to have been so direct, especially when he sees the tears now falling freely down your cheeks. “listen to me, y/n! i’m not the enemy! if there’s anyone you should be pushing away, it’s doyoung! he turned you into his lab rat! you are nothing but a variable in his study! don’t you get it?”

taeyong grabs a firm but gentle hold of your head, trying to make you look at him straight in the eye for the gravity of what he’s about to say to you.

“doyoung had his eye on you since sophomore year. i told him this was a bad idea and that he should change the topic of the research and he was. fucking hell, he was about to scrap the whole thing until your bestfriend died and did you know what that psycho told me? that it was a sign for him to continue the research! and i’ve been pestering him so much that he moved out because he claimed i was going to get in the way of his discovery.

tell you what, if you can tell me right here, right now, that he has mentioned anything — anything at all — about his study to you then everything i’m saying is a lie.”

you have asked doyoung for the longest time about that research but the answers have always been the same. “not yet, my love. it’s not time for it to be seen with your eyes. soon, okay?”

with a voice not louder than a whisper, you ask. “what… what’s his research about?”

you fail to see the sorry look on taeyong’s face. “in psychology, they say a person only develops psychosis mainly through genetics or drugs. although you’re technically already a worthy “lab rat” considering your mom and upbringing, he wanted to expand the external factors of what causes the disorder — grief, grades, toxic family relations…”

you hear a ringing in your ear and a sudden urge to throw up. only, you didn’t have anything to hurl because your brunch remains untouched on your bedside. 

“but he hadn’t been successful. and that’s… that’s where i came along. doyoung thought the medications he’s been giving you isn’t doing what he wanted it to and he knew he needed a little push. i was… i gave him that push. remember the whispers, the banging on the door at night? it was all me. he made me do it. you know what that means, right? you’re not crazy. you don’t need to stay here cooped up like some kind of pet, believing all his lies as if it’s written in a fucking bible —”

he stops. and if he hadn’t, you wouldn’t’ve heard the familiar beeps of the front door’s automated lock going off. doyoung’s home. 

in lightning speed, taeyong has you sheltered behind him, throwing his warm coat over you in the process, hoping to give the smallest comfort amidst the chaos that’s about to erupt. there’s no point in pretending or hiding — one look at that lock and his crazy friend would know something’s off. 

taeyong feels you flinching behind him with every heavy footstep against the floorboards as doyoung wastes no time in getting to your room. and when he finally appears, hands braced against the door frame, you’ve never been this scared your whole life. his eyes are drawn into slits, fixated on taeyong alone. “how fucking dare you?”

“it’s over, doyoung. give it up or you wouldn’t have to suffer a longer sentence than you’ll already get.” taeyong tried with his whole being to appear intimidating.

“what’re you saying, yong? i meant, how fucking dare you barge in here and disturb my girlfriend in her sleep? that’s not very nice of you…” doyoung sports a disarming gummy smile as he approaches, hand outstretched and beckoning towards you. “c’mere, baby. i don’t think you’ve eaten lunch yet?”

“drop the fucking act, you psycho!”

“what act?” doyoung tilts his head innocently, gaze shifting from taeyong’s and yours, who keeps peeking from over his ex-friend’s shoulder. luring you out is a piece of cake unless taeyong decides to make things a wee bit more complicated, doyoung thought. “i’m just concerned for my darl —”

“we’re leaving.” taeyong cuts him off, breaking eye contact as he places a firm grip around your wrist. he pulls you towards him, farther away from your supposed lover as he tries walking past doyoung. 

but the said man pushes taeyong back with a humorless smile on his face. “and who told you that you can do that?”

a pregnant silence befalls the room as the two men size each other up. they regard each other with such hostility, you can't help but unconsciously fist the back of taeyong's sweater in nervousness, prompting the man to turn his head over his shoulder for a swift second to check up on you.

but a second is all that doyoung needed to deliver the first kick towards taeyong's legs, throwing him off his balance. if it was one thing doyoung knew, is that he needed to eliminate taeyong's agility all together if he wants to win against him. 

but taeyong isn't one to back down. the moment doyoung straddles him on the floor, with a fist raised to throw a punch, taeyong grunts as he rolls them around. doyoung now receiving taeyong's rain of fists as he yells. "fuck you! you manipulative asshole!"

you sat on the corner, horrified of the scene happening before you. you've never seen doyoung this way. he has always been your sweet, caring bunny, but after everything taeyong said, you aren't so sure you even know the man you've been living with. 

"everything i did, i did it for her!" you flinch at the sound of bones breaking as doyoung kicked taeyong's ribs. "she had nothing to lose! i saved her!"

the door is open, you noticed. wide-open and inviting you to make a run for it. and you would have made a run for it...  but taeyong. you can't leave him behind, not when he lays there bloody and grunting in pain as doyoung lets his anger take over him. so, as stupid as may be, you did it. you had to.

"you didn't save me," you say, schooling your face into indifference as doyoung whips around, forgetting about taeyong in the bat of an eye. "you caged me in here, treated me like there's something wrong with me, gaslighted me into believing everything you said! and... what did you say? 'saved me'? you made me go through hell!"

the whole time, taeyong tries his hardest to stand upright, but his broken ribs don't allow him to. the pain too great that he had no choice but to crawl instead, arms pulling his weight as he drags himself across the floorboards, desperately trying to get doyoung's attention back on him even if it meant getting beaten to death.

meanwhile, he had his eyes trained on you the whole time you spoke, sobbing as you walk backward in fear as doyoung approached you with a dark glint in his eye. he doesn't like what you're saying; that much is very clear. he wanted to yell at you, to scream of your ungratefulness despite his constant care but instead, he says.

"i thought we were making progress, baby. i guess i have to drill everything in your brain again. you're not okay, but you will be after i treat you."

you try to fight the urge to look at taeyong as he finds his strength, silently rising up from the floor to ambush doyoung while he's so busy preaching about you. 

"what i said is true, baby. do you actually think this scum over here is doing this to save you? do you actually believe everything he said? i've been here since day-1, my love. literally. and have i ever let you down? no. everything i'm doing is for us. even this damned research!"

taeyong surges forward to put him in a chokehold, but everything happened so fast, and the next thing you knew —

"did you actually think i'd fall for that?"

you didn't know the sound of a knife cutting through flesh could sound that loud, but nothing could beat the strained gasp that tumbled through taeyong's lips as he shakily held the knife pierced through his heart. you would've been concerned about how doyoung got it so accurate in one go or where the knife even came from. but you were too busy screaming, collapsing against the wall as you let out a broken sob. 

"no," you mutter. "no, no, no..."

you can't bear to avert your eyes from taeyong as he lies dying before you. the look of fear in his eyes would forever be ingrained in your mind, and no amount of brainwashing or gaslighting would ever make you forget.

doyoung killed him. you lost.

the knife clatters loudly on the floor as he slowly turns around as if he himself has yet to register what he did. you didn't know what to expect from doyoung's reaction but certainly not the eerie smile that starts spreading on his face. 

"now... how about that lunch, baby?"

✉ : a repost no one asked but i respectfully dont give a fuck <3

[clone-wars-imagine-2]

Bad Batch Preference: How they react when you make a doll for them that looks like them

A/N: This idea comes from a friend on discord, I hope you enjoy this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sergeant Hunter: To begin with, you were hella bored and flying through hyperspace for 10 hours straight was making you insane. Meditation could only pass that much time, so you decided to start a little project for the remaining time until you would reach Coruscant again. Soon enough you gathered all materials and started to make a little doll. You didn’t have any particular thing in mind you wanted the doll to look like but having Hunter sit right across from you with his datapad in hand was a convenient thing. It only took you 2 ½ hours until the doll was finished, now you only had to show Hunter. “Hunter! I need to show you something really important!” You said dragging out the really, a grin plastered on your face. His response was a simple ‘aha’ but he glanced up from his reports to look at you for a moment. He seemed tired which made your heart ache, he is always overworking himself. You took the doll from behind your back and held it out to him. Hunter looked surprised at the sight of the doll and laid his datapad down, reaching forward to grab the little fabric version of him. He could see all the details you did, you even put a little bandana on the doll. The Sergeant was speechless to say the least. “Do you like it? I made it for you.” You made it for him… “Of course I do. I love it! Thank you, kar’ta.” “You're welcome, Love.”

Crosshair: Building something was one of your hobbies you had since you were a kid, it was always something you could do on your own, inside or even outside. You build things out of wood, metal, fabrics, flowers and basically everything you could find. So whenever the boys were out of the ship, getting supplies or doing assignments the thought would be too dangerous for you to tag along on they left you to look after the havoc marauder. This was one of those occasions. You’ve been sitting in the pilot seat for the past few hours making something for Crosshair. You weren’t quite sure if he would like it or not but if the latter would happen you’d just keep the little doll of him for yourself. Holding the doll up you looked it once over before deciding you were finished. It looked exactly like Crosshair, you even went as far as to carefully draw on his tattoo. You smiled and decided to put it away until he came back. It didn’t take long for your boys to come back and leave the planet as fast as possible. When everything calmed down you went to Crosshair, telling him you made something for him. He gave you a sceptical look but followed you to your quarters you had on the ship. Turning around you presented him with the doll.  “You made a doll of myself? For me?” You nod your head and beamed up at him with one of your smiles. “It looks hideous.” You saw that coming. “But it’s you!” “I know.” “You want me to take it back?”  “No it’s mine.”

Tech: Getting to spend time with Tech was hard after the Bad Batch stopped protecting you and your father after they catched the people who were after you. Now it wasn’t certain when and for how long you would see him again and it killed the both of you. The last time he came to visit he gifted you a necklace with a small piece of his armor hanging off it. He said it was so something from him was always with you and protected you. It was by far your most prized possession and you never put it off since you got it. So you decided to make something for him. You were amazing when it came to the knowledge of advanced technologies and new inventions but building something on your own wasn’t something you could say you were good at. So the only plausible thing to do was ask your mother for help which she gladly lended. Together you two made a little doll, it was only a few inches in size but it looked so much like Tech it made your heart ache for him even more. It even had a small replica of his goggles on. Now you only had to wait for him to arrive home. It was another two months before you got the message from Tech that they would be heading back to get some downtime. You were filled with exaltation and couldn’t wait until he was back, but you were also nervous about what he would think of the doll. You would find out soon enough. It wasn’t until a few hours of him being back and the two of you cuddling in bed that you showed him his little present. Tech was more than just surprised and you could swear you saw him stop breathing for a few seconds. A smile spread across his face and he gave you a kiss on the forehead, pulling you closer and nuzzling his face into your hair. “I love it, mesh’la. I will always keep it with me.” You blushed at the little word of endearment and hid your face in his chest. “Glad you like it, handsome.” Guess who is blushing now. 

Wrecker: You were set at home on one of the few days you could take off, waiting for Wrecker to arrive after one of their missions. He had commed you earlier in the day, letting you know he would be there today and that he got some more stuff for you. The clones didn’t earn a lot of money so Wrecker never really bought much but he brought some stuff back for you that he found on his journeys. Be it intriguing  looking stones, beautiful flowers he pressed under some weights to preserve them or shells he found on shores. Seeing all the little things lying on their own little shelf in the living room you took the opportunity of being alone for a little while longer and started making something you knew Wrecker would like. Wrecker owned a tooka doll he so fondly called Lula that you decided it could use a little friend and what better friend would there be than a smaller version of your boyfriend himself!  It took you longer than you would like to admit until you got the hang of stitching the doll together. You were a mechanic, an inventor, not a sewer! But thankfully Wrecker wouldn’t arrive until late in the night as he told you in a message. Great, more time to figure out how to not poke you in the fingers 50 times in a row. You finished the doll around 11pm, mere ten minutes before he arrived. When Wrecker arrived he crushed you in one of his tight hugs which you endured with a smile, by now you were used to his strength. He immediately started rambling about the mission and taking the stuff out he collected for you during his time away when you stopped him. “Before you continue darling, I want to show you something I made for you. I-” “You made something for me?! When?!” You let out a laugh and smiled up at him. “Today, I had some time and thought you might appreciate it.”  Wrecker immediately begged to see it and how could you keep him waiting? You showed him the doll of himself, it was by all means the first thing you ever made in that regard but it didn’t look too bad, and it resembled him which you wanted! His eyes lit up the second they met the doll and he took it out of your hands. “This is amazing! And it looks like me! I will put myself right next to Lula so she isn’t alone!” A laugh bubbled out of your chest and you looked fondly at him. “That was my intention. Glad we are both on the same page.” You got pulled in another bone crushing hug and you savoured every second of it.

Echo: It has been over a year in which you thought that Echo was dead. After the Citadel mission Fives and Rex came to you, bearing bad news. The moment you saw them you knew and cried your eyes out for weeks. You couldn’t believe he was just gone like that, taken from you from moment to the other. Both Rex and Fives tried to help you and they succeeded in some ways until Fives passed away.  You had thrown yourself in your work for the senate, doing everything not to think about how your heart ached for the love of your life and your best friend who were gone. When your body finally broke down, telling you to rest and to process you did. In memory of the both of them you made two little dolls, the one of Fives you put right next to his gravestone. You did everything to make sure he got buried and his body wasn’t used for scientific research by the Kaminoans.  The doll of Echo you always kept close to you. There was no body you could bury or mourn so this was the only alternativ you got, and it helped, it really did. And then Rex commed you, telling you Echo was alive right before one of your most important senate meetings. It was another few days from when they brought Echo back to when you were allowed to see him and your heart stopped when you saw him. What have they done to him? Tears filled your eyes and you threw yourself at him, not letting him go as you thought he might disappear again. Echo was very hesitant at first, fearing he could hurt you with his prosthetics, yet he still forced those thoughts from his mind and enveloped you in his arms.  You talked for the maker knows how long, trying to comprehend what the other went through while giving as much comfort as possible. Every time Echo would flinch at your contact, even if it was tiny, your heart felt like it got stabbed a thousand times. When he carefully reached for your hand and told you he was leaving with the Bad Batch you tried to protest but he shut it down, telling you he had to do it and you only nod. “I promise you that I will come back, I always do, don’t I?” Echo had a smaller version of his usual sly smile on his face and for the first time in a long while you felt your heart melt again. You smiled softly at him, leaning closer to give him a kiss on the cheek. “I know you do, but before you go I want to give you something.” , you mumbled against the skin of his cheek, taking out the small doll you made months ago. Carefully you handed it to him and watched his face for his reaction. You could see tears gather in the corner of his eyes and you pulled him closer. “I made it a while after you… Well…” Echo shushed you and looked up into your face, smiling. “I will keep this close to me so whenever I see it I will think about you, cyar’ika.” 

[oneoftheprettynerds]

Devout Worshipper: Dark! Peter Parker x Professor!Reader

A/N: So this girl here tried something else. I’ve been wanting to upload since long but this got delayed a lot and now I have several WIPs but finished this first. Sorry not proofread. I’m still discovering my writing style and my forte and thank you for staying and witnessing my experiments! Wear safety goggles please.

Summary: The best of all the educators yet, both smart and stunning, became Peter’s mentor in university. Peter grew too much of a liking for her, from a clingy scholar to her devout worshipper.

WARNING: STORY AHEAD HAS NON-CON, KIDNAPPING, POSSIBLE DRUGGING, UNHEALTHY BEHAVIOUR, OBSESSION. DNI IF TRIGGERED.

You sat on the teacher’s desk, going through the latest thesis published by Dr. Banner last week. He had given you one of the several copies and asked you to go through it and your judgement on it. The classroom was slowly filling in as the scholars stacked in, their buzzes growing loud with each passing trice.

You were on the last paragraph of your current page when a slight thump made you break out of your stupor, you tilted your head up to find a brawny youngster leaning in front of you, with his hand planted beside your ass on the ebony desk. He had blonde locks with grey eyes and was definitely a sports’ team captain, basketball you believed, who had his own posse of wannabes behind him.

You kept the paper down in your lap and met his eyes again with an inquiring look. “Yes?”

“You seem new. Me and my guys will save you a seat at the back, so come there when your little reading session is over, babe.” He said smugly, his eyes brimming with mischievousness as they dipped to your cleavage not-so-subtly and stood there gawking while he awaited your response.

You paused to see the whole class had gone quiet watching your encounter with the jock. You gave him a sickly-sweet smile as you nodded shyly for show and he tapped your knee with his other hand before leaving. As soon as his back faced you, you rolled your eyes so hard at his antics you heard the first-benchers gasp. You could still hear him talking to his ‘friends’, “I love myself a badass girl like her.”

You returned to your thesis but before you could finish the last few sentences, the bell rung and you had to stop. Thanks blondie.

You got down from the desk, jumping on your black heels as you made your way over to the door, closing it as lock clicked into place.

The entire class was watching you with quizzical glances as you stood in front of your desk this time and wrung your hands together, “Good morning class and congratulation on making it to your second year in college, I will be your mentor and also your lecturer for biology for this semester and for those who pass, also their next one.” The entire class’ jaw slackened and you giggled lightly as waited for them to digest the news, and then told them your name.

“I know a lot of you see science itself as a chore but since you’ve already taken it, I suggest you try to pay attention as you will have to study it anyways. However, because I can relate to your struggles, I will try my best to be a companion or advisor, whichever way you prefer it, and help you get through the class with flying colours hopefully. So, ask me anything, no matter how stupid or absurd you believe your doubt or query is. I’ll answer as many times as you ask and trust me when I say that I am a woman of my word. You have any questions for the semester?” You finished with a bright smile on your face as you saw the students in the front relax slightly. At least you had their approval.

“Ma’am” The blonde kid started without raising his hand, stressing the word unnecessarily as he and his horde sniggered at some stupid inside joke, and continued, “Can I have your number?”

Some of the students gulped while the others leaned forward interested in your response. That kid thought he could fluster you by putting you in a weird spot. He smirked arrogantly, leaning back in his chair as you raised your eyebrows.

“That, Mr.?” You paused as you lingered for his answer, which came almost immediately.

“Flash Thompson, but you can call me whatever you want baby.”

His friends hooted at his pickup line, some praising his smoothness while some high-fived him.

“That, Mr. Thompson, is an excellent example of the stupid questions I mentioned formerly. Thank you for helping me make it clearer to the rest of the class, an extra point for you in the first grading assignment.”

His face fell as his jaw ticked and you turned to face the rest of the class again, “Though I suppose I will give you my number but for emergency purposes only, you can contact me on my e-mail though which I will be using most frequently. You are supposed to mail me majority of your papers this semester and the grading pattern is expected to change this time around but I will inform you of that when the time for the first assignment comes around. Any other questions, and if possible, a bit wiser ones?”

Peter knew he liked you that day. You were attractive and stunning, yes, that too in the natural way, without make-up and tight clothes. But of course, there was more to you than that, you were smart and witty, hence a young lecturer in this esteemed college and you being a science enthusiast as well was like chocolate chips on top of a well baked dessert. You were spirited and jaunty and your sardonic and sassy replies were never degrading or humiliating. The five-year difference between you and the class made you their elder sibling rather than professor.

The first benchers worshipped your intellect while the last benchers adored your sarcasm. Everyone could see how you gave your all to teach, every trick for learning, showing real skeletons and organs in formalin, easily becoming the favourite mentor ever. You could easily be labelled as the university’s crush of the year.

But Peter soon began to despise that. The perverted comments by the students and jealous, snarky remarks by the plastics irked him. He was enraged by the geeks admiring you but baffled all the more by the strange palette of emotions he had never suffered before.

The sheer envy he was sinking in had never even surfaced while he dated Liz or MJ. For him you were a Goddess, tons divine than his exes or any other female for that matter, who should be properly worshipped and treasured.

He knew these sentiments weren’t right, but in this twisted world where he had combatted with unnatural beings and seen unimaginable horrors, he began to believe morality is just fiction used by the herd of inferior men to hold back the few superior men.

It was the last day before spring break and no matter how much your pupils loved you, it wasn’t enough for them to not get distracted and murmur around. Only half of your entire class’s strength came and that half somehow managed to create more ruckus than usual. Even you were minutes late, not in the mood to teach this aloof and uninterested batch of youngsters.

You sat on the table and crossed your legs, which was somewhat your habit that you weren’t really proud of but continued to indulge in nonetheless, and cleared your throat times to catch the attention of the unmindfully fantasizing students.

The baritone of the males and shrieky pitches of the females made you clutch your head. You were sure going to end with disprin at the end of day. You clapped loudly and effectively so, gathered the class’s attention, but by the roll of their eyes and glares on their faces, you deduced they weren’t happy. Who would have thought?

“Okay, before you all slaughter me to the netherworld with your lethal gazes, let me make it clear that no teaching will commence today.” The class hollered appreciatively and whistled, while you paused to let them do so. Teaching on the last day before a vacation was like speaking to yourself only but with the consequence of your name being added to several hitlists.

“I’ll distribute the graded assignments submitted last Thursday and then, since I’m required to clock thirty minutes of educating at the bare minimum, we can play something, maybe you have some talents to show, principles to mock or some gossip to attend to.” The college kids laughed at your poor joke, perhaps too thrilled for their break that nothing could make their mood sour. “We’ll see accordingly, but first, raise your hand when I say your name, I want to learn at least the names of the students who bothered to come to uni on the concluding day.”

You distributed the papers back, making sure to associate each name with a face and the students took them stuffing it straight inside, not bothering to check their scoring and possibly wreck their mood.

“Peter Parker?” A hand raised in the second last row shyly, a flustered boy with glasses on his nose and a hoodie covering his head. He barely made eye contact and you smiled at his nervy, edgy form hoping to ease him a bit. Your heels sounded heavy against the few stairs as you made your way to the back, the class buzzing with laughs as students barely paid you any heed.

The draught of epinephrine Peter felt was unlike anything he had ever felt before, nothing like the anxiety on the battlefield or the excessive sweating while impressing Mr. Stark. The apprehension he felt was decuple that.

It’s not like he had never talked to you afore, he constantly asked clever doubts, which he knew the answer to already, of course, to make an impression on you, but that was with a two feet and 7.5 inches of teacher’s desk in between. Yes, he measured. He had even made sure a couple times, let’s be honest, more than several times that his Goddess had arrived her fascinating abode safely.

But this time, they’d be hardly half a foot apart and the anticipation was tearing him apart. He did want her close, in all ways possible, but was he ready enough to not make a fool of himself? All his previous conversations were thought out meticulously and beforehand but was ready for a spontaneous interaction?

“Good job, Smart Cookie.” You mused at Peter with a wink and dropped the paper on his desk as he looked at you with those innocent, doe-eyes of his, his cheeks and nose a tad bit rouge.

Peter’s hearing ability got lost as the sound of his heart pumping blood filled his tympanum. He could only watch you retreat back to the front of the class, your hips swaying invitingly in that damned black pencil skirt as you called another person’s name.

Smart Cookie was his favourite nickname now.

It was pretty late when you left the university premises, finishing up all you had to and even preparing for your first week of teaching after vacation because you knew how procrastinating errands went.

You couldn’t almost believe how you were on the adult end of things, making sure and guiding other people. With the job, came a lot of obligations that you had to fulfil and being responsible was hard, really demanding. You suddenly had a lot of reverence for all the teachers in your life, from kindergarten to your degrees.

You were on a sabbatical from research temporarily, signing a teaching contract for three years minimum and you were satisfies with the refreshment. Interacting young, curious minds was almost like a recreational activity you indulged in free time and the various angles they approached science at even taught you something. The scholars found it in themselves to even question well-established biology.

Slightly humming, you made a mental checklist of what all was left to do for your solo, self-discovering trip the next week. All that you should pack, clothes according to the weather in the hills and enough emergency eatables. Maybe you could revisit the work-in-progress papers of yours or maybe it would be a leisure excursion only.

Only you never made it to your flight.

 The pounding of your head made a thrumming noise in your head, increasing its tempo and volume with each passing instant. Your eyelids felt heavy and opening them felt like a chore, which even more difficult considering the light that flooded your vision with every bit they opened. Your senses felt overwhelmed being burdened and strained with their everyday tasks after what you assumed to be at least hours of inactivity.

The sudden spike of pain shooting in your head made you jerk your hand to clutch your throbbing forehead, only to fail and find your hands bounded to something. They weren’t cuffed or shackled, nothing dug in your wrist either. Maybe a rope but the texture wasn’t rough enough. After what felt like minutes, you opened your eyes and sat up, as straight as your confined self could, and looked around.

The room was shades of grey and blue, a giant bed was where you were sitting. The giant ceiling to floor windows beside you, cast enough moonlight in the bedroom for you to see the entire bedroom. The view outside was so picturesque, that you had been gawking were you not afraid of your surroundings. You could discern you were high up, with how small the vehicles looked and another wave terror ran through you.

A white desk with a blue chair had a laptop atop it, also sitting beside several books. You would have noticed them being your subject and recommendation but you were scanning your brain as to how you landed here. With your vision now clearer, you saw your restraints to be like silk but no matter how hard you pulled, they didn’t snap.

You were full on panicking and staring wide eyed when the laptop entered your vision again. There was no other electronic except it and you calmed yourself to think rationally. Deep breaths, in and out. Your best bet right now was to hope that the laptop was connected to someone’s wifi.

You slid off the edge of the bed and tried to cut the weird silk ropes with bedside table’s corner. It took some time but you succeeded, your hands freed from the poster of the bed as you made your way towards the laptop, after checking the locked door of course.

Another wave of panic ran through you when the laptop wasn’t connected to anything and all available connections were password protected. You noticed the laptop to be brand new, and of a very expensive company that was out of your budget. You also noticed the OS was very different, not the usual Windows you ran. Your AI Cortana in this overpriced gadget, was named Karen.

You still refused to wait for your captor to show up and snooped to find something on the laptop, anything. There was no profile of the owner but you did manage to find at least three GB of videos and images.

Your hands froze and eyes widened when you saw the security footage of your building’s outside, the little bakery’s neon sign confirming the location. The videos were the same, of you entering and exiting every day, just the dates on the videos varied.

Another folder had clips with the same dates, but they were in the lobby of your apartment, your potted plants outside your door the affirmation again. It showed you getting milks and newspaper every morning, ordering take out several days and placing the garbage bags outside.

The earliest date in each folder was after your first month of moving here, second week of teaching probably.

When you opened the third folder, as the video started your hands covered your mouth as you tried your best to hold back the sob and making a noise. The screen showed two camera screens, both inside your apartment. The first showed the living room clearly and your kitchen and you concluded it to be behind some article on the bookshelf.

The other screen showed your bedroom.

You could still see the floral bedsheet with the white quilt atop it. Your red suitcase that you took out from the storage for your trip this morning, resting beside the wall. Your lamp switched on from when you mayhap left it on, already late for the last day of work. As the time hit 12 AM at the bottom of the screen, the video ended and played again. There were even more folders and you wondered how far would the surveillance go, till your bathroom?

Your abductor had live footage of your house being sent to his laptop and that scared you shitless. This was not a random crime, that ransom could end. You were here for something, some sick purpose you didn’t even know. Was this a hate crime? Would you even make it-

“I really wish you hadn’t looked there.”

The deep, familiar voice amplified your fear and you turned your head slowly, almost comically to look at him. Another gasp escaped your lips as you found warm eyes of your student and brows furrowed in confusion and fear when you saw the deranged lust in his eyes. Was this some sick prank?

“What am I doing here and what is this?” You gestured to the screen playing footages of the inside of your house. Seeing someone familiar and the probability of this being a prank should have calmed you somewhat but the revolting trick and the strange darkness in the boy’s eyes made you even more wary.

As he took a step closer, you hastily climbed out of the chair and backed away, nearing the bed again as he locked the door and closed in on you. He made a move to snatch you and you jumped to the other side of the bed barely missing him by an inch. You reached for the door hoping to find it unlocked but it didn’t even budge.

You pulled even harder while being painfully aware of how that kid from your class just sat on the bed and observed, having the utmost confidence in the door. Your frenzied state got a jump-scare when a female voice broke the silence, “Authorization to access locked doors is granted to Mr. Parker only, please refrain from damaging the property, Mam.”

So some tech-boy with a rich background is set on you?

“Please sit on the bed and I’ll explain, please.”

His doe eyes would have fooled you were you not extremely aware of your environment due to the adrenaline coursing through your arteries. He was an exceptionally good actor, you had to give him that. You prided yourself to be an excellent judge of character and here this guy had deceived you for three months.

The AI called him Parker, what was his name again?

Patrick? Peyton? Peter? Yes, Peter Parker.

“Peter?” You softly called out and his eyes widened as a blush crept up to his cheeks as he relished the fact that you remembered his name. You sighed internally, praying that this was a case of a harmless crush gone wrong and he was just innocently hopeful. The image of his dark, lust covered eyes crossed your mind to make an argument but you pushed it aside to calm your nerves and stay as relaxed as you possibly could with all that was happening.

“I know that this is all a big misunderstanding but you are really scaring me here. Can you please at least let me out of this room to somewhere open?” You looked at him, hoping to talk him down and get out. You didn’t think he would hurt you but you weren’t willing to take any chances with this maniacal youngster either.

“I’m sorry but I can’t do that, you’ll run.”

Of course, you’ll run, who wouldn’t?

“Peter, boy, listen to me-”

“No, you listen to me! I admit the situation isn’t ideal and you’re probably terrified because of your meddling but this is all for you! I’m here to protect you! The world out there isn’t safe and your heavenly self needs to be resuscitated.”

“Peter, you’re not making any sense. I’m an adult, older than you and you need to understand boundaries-”

“I’ve seen the way of the world, trust me, in fact, far more than you have! Did you know that raping and murdering women on Asgard is considered a common crime? How Hydra is kidnapping young, bright women to exploit them for breeding projects? How the Red Skull resurfaced and his ideals now include eradicating women from Earth as well?”

“Pete-”

“No, you don’t know! You are just blissfully unaware of this world, so oblivious you don’t even how know the perverted and debauched comments your own class makes?”

His outburst frightened you as you felt yourself losing control of the situation, maybe you never were in control. But now the unleashed fury on Peter’s face told you that had triggered an irrevocable topic.

“Calm down, it’s alright.” You said quietly, hoping to ease him again but his steps towards made you back up yourself to the other side of the bed.

“You, You are still scared of me, aren’t you? You still don’t understand, do you? I’ll show you, show you how much I worship you, the true extent of my devotion.” Every ludicrous declaration of his bit away your hope of getting out.

As he approached you again from the foot of the bed, you jumped across the bed again, hoping to reprise your stunt from before. However, your jumping halted midway as something glued your right wrist to the headboard and you jerked due to inertia of movement. As your eyes looked to your hand, the same silky rope met your vision.

You did not have the time or the wits to ponder over the fluid, about how your abductor shot it or how it wouldn’t budge no matter how hard you pulled. A hand on your ankle prompted you to try one last time as you screamed as loud as you could, for as long as your lungs allowed.

“It won’t work, Mr. Stark got me a soundproofed apartment. Pretty cool, right?”

A sob wracked through your entire frame as the tears descended, the frustration and hopelessness and dread, all attacking you at once. Your legs kicked and flexed and when your left fist swung, he restrained all your limbs after dodging, of course.

“I just want to love you, is it too much too ask?” He asked in a quiet whisper, his hands undressing you cloth by cloth; first unzipping the side of your pencil skirt and unwrapping it, then unbuttoning your blouse. When he brought out a pocket knife, your eyes instinctively closed, a “Please don’t hurt me” falling from your lips.

“Never.” He replied with absolute assurance.

The blade cut through your blouse first, leaving you in your garments while Peter sat back on his knees to admire you. You’ve been flattered with the adoration in his eyes had you not gone through the mayhem that you had.

His hand caressed your curves, feeling the soft skin underneath as he took his time admiring you, committing each feature to memory while your tears poured, your eyes never leaving the knife he held.

The blade invaded your privacy once again as it took away your last pieces of defense, leaving you utterly nude and your cries wreaked havoc in the otherwise quiet room. Your eyes found Peter face and you noticed his eyes twinkling in admiration trailing up and down your body several times. His disciple complex was scaring you, you almost bordered considering his Goddess belief.

“So stunning.” He whispered as he came down to kiss you, his lips meeting yours in this bruising embrace of both your mouths and as he began to undress himself simultaneously, his dramatics became the least of your concerns. The thought of the inevitable future made home in your mind and gave you one last bout of courage to try and fight.

The restraints on your limbs didn’t even budge and every fleck of hope deserted your body when you saw the chiseled abs on his scarred torso, his biceps bulging and silently warning you into staying put. He made quick work of his remaining outfit and his hard, angry member was bigger than you had anticipated.

You had not expected a stereotypical nerd to be packing, with muscles and brawns, hardly to even expect him to be the largest among the ones you had ever experienced.

“Please don’t.” You mumbled, defeated, knowing he would not listen. You closed your eyes expecting the intrusion to get it over with. You were caught off handed when you felt him shift and devour into your pussy. He feasted like a man famished, his tongue leaving no area unlapped. The sparks in your abdomen made you queasy and giddy at the same time, you could barely open your eyes due to the intensity of his actions and when he added two of his shockingly calloused fingers, you let go of the coil in mere seconds.

Your limbs sat limp while your vision whitened, your mind foggy and hazy, deprived of all sensibility. When his thick thighs rested on top of yours, your gaze ascended to meet his already staring pupils, the warm, honey brown orbs now a black abyss. You couldn’t even protest in your blissful state as lined himself and entered your cavern, which was lubricated enough courtesy of him.

The stretch burned but as he rocked himself and thrusted with a rhythm, the pleasure started building from scratch. Each push was sturdier than the last and every spot he hit managed to make your breath hitch. Your hands and legs freed as the fluid perhaps melted but the last of your energy was being used by you to stay conscious. When he descended to kiss you once again and trailed kisses to your collarbone, your hands held onto him for support, his biceps providing anchor to you, made of pure muscle.

His teeth bruised your skin as he lightly bit your neck, reaching his end and releasing his load. The warmth that filled you made you let go, his orgasm encouraging another one from you.

Your eyes drooped, your body filled with exhaustion due to all the struggling as you curled in to your side and wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to forget your abductor and the forceful, mind shattering ecstasy you felt. Your refused to think about the guilt and the uncertainty of your impending doom in the hands of this maniacal student of yours. You just wished for sleep, for some peace alone.

The wish of yours was not granted when you felt Peter slide behind you, his hand wrapping around your middle as if you were lover. You still gave into slumber, but not before feeling him peck your shoulder with a promise.

“This devotee of yours will worship you forever and always, Goddess.”

[crowdedimagines]

Leaked Pt. 2 - Harry Styles

PART ONE

Harry and I follow Gemma back into the house. I cross my arms over my chest, fighting the chill from outside that seems to linger in my bones now. We take a seat back at the table, everyone seems to be stressed and tired of talking, I don’t blame them. I’m thankful Harry and I got a break from it.

“Alright, so we were able to detect what they had access to and what was downloaded from the online server.” Andrew, whose name I learned, says looking at both Harry and I to explain.

“So what else did they get?” Harry questions, he sits up a little straighter in his chair.

“It looks like they also had access to some audio files.”

“Audio files?”

“What? The studio version of medicine?” I tease, assuming that whatever it was can’t be too bad. Harry’s had songs leak before, even if it’s something that ended up being scrapped it can’t be the end of the world. It can’t be as bad as a leaked image of us across twitter.

“No, it looks like they only took several files dated July 15th of 2019.”

“July 15th?” I raise my brows.

“What happened-” Harry starts to question the significance, but it instantly clicks for me. All of the humor and lightheartedness I had is knocked right out of me.

“Fuck-” I pull my hair back over my shoulder. The chill that clung to my bones is gone now, now I can feel myself break out into a sweat. Harry turns to look at me and as soon as our eyes meet I can tell that it’s clicked for him as well.

“It’s our song” Harry states, his voice so quiet that I’m sure not everyone in the room caught it. His voice is soft and low, barely registering.

“Your song?” Anne prompts, her face full of concern as she notice’s the color that’s completely drained from our faces.

“Can we clear out the room for a few minutes?” Harry asks, he takes his hand in mine and nods for Anne and Gemma to fill the seats that have now been vacated.

“Can I?” Harry looks at me for permission before continuing. I give him a soft smile and nod, at this point I’m glad they’ll know. I’d rather they know than the whole world.

“July 15th was the day Y/n and I got back from the hospital.” Harry swallows, “The day before Y/n had suffered a miscarrige.”

The silence in the room is louder than I could’ve expected. Gemma and Anne look at each other, obviously shocked before turning their attention back to us. Their expressions seem just as solemn now.

“So the audio file is?” Gemma looks between us confused.

“So together we wrote a song for our daughter.” I nod, tears slipping without being able to stop them.

“It was really therapeutic, I think we both sobbed through practically the whole thing.” He looks to me and I just nod and agree. Harry’s hand still hasn’t left mine.

“I’m sorry that you guys had to find out this way.” I pull my head up to finally make eye contact. Tears are still slowly streaming, but I’m able to blink past them, “We had been so excited to tell you guys that we were expecting and it was only a few weeks after that we had already lost her.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Anne says, her eyes filling up with tears of her own at this point.

“So this was right before you guys broke up.” Gemma realizes, “Is that-?”

She doesn’t seem to be able to finish her own thought. The air in the room is a little too heavy. If I wasn’t drained before, I am now.

“Partly.” Harry nods.

“It wasn’t a lie that the stress of always being apart tore us apart, but going through something like that and then having to fly across the world. We didn’t get to heal from that together, and it ruined our relationship.”

Third Person POV

Slowly the group makes their way back in. Harry makes it very clear to all of them that they need to do everything in their power to stop that audio file from seeing the light of day. It crushed him to see the defeated look on Y/n’s face. She looks exhausted. Harry can’t pull his eyes from her saddened face every couple of seconds. The last thing he wants is for her to feel emotionally exposed as well as physically.

“Y/n, why don’t we go off to bed.” Anne gets up from her spot and places a gentle hand on the younger girl's shoulder. She only nods and lets Anne lead her up stairs. No one else at the table comments, no one dares. Harry’s eyes follow her as Anne wraps an arm around her shoulder and they walk up the stairs.

Anne leads her to Harry’s room, knowing that she was bound to stay there after everything that’s happened today. No one can blame her for being so tired, it was only a few hours ago that she landed. She’s had her body exposed to the world and now there’s the potential for one of the most intimate parts of her to be exposed as well. Today has been the day from hell for Y/n.

Y/n changes into one of Harry’s shirts and tucks herself in under the covers. It’s been over a year since she’s been in this bed. Anne comes back in to check on her, noticing her eyelids are falling heavy as they talk.

Anne curls up in the sitting chair on the other side of the master bedroom. It doesn’t feel right to leave her alone right now in this state and she doesn’t exactly feel like participating in the conversations downstairs anymore. It leaves a bitter taste in her mouth hearing people speak so casually over something so personal.

It’s a few hours later when Harry makes his way upstairs and he’s surprised to see either of them in his room. He looks like the definition of exhausted. His mom looks up from her book and glances over to see that Y/n is still asleep.

“Is she alright?” Harry asks, looking at the girl curled up in his bed.

“She will be.” Anne sets down the book. She pulls the blanket off of her shoulders and folds it up neatly.

“Did you guys get anything decided?” Anne questions, making her way over to her son by the door.

“Yeah, Jordan and Jeff both agree that it might be in our best interest to release a statement. If it gets out we’ll obviously need to address it. They want to talk it over again tomorrow morning once Y/n is feeling a bit better.”

“Sounds great, love.” Anne presses a soft kiss to his cheek before letting herself out.

Harry breaks his stare on the love of his life so he can get ready for bed himself. He brushes his teeth and does his night routine as quietly as he can. From what he remembers, it always used to wake Y/n up anyway, but she’s exhausted.

He finally finishes up and hovers over his side of the bed, unsure if he should cross that line. Sure she’s laying in his bed, but that doesn’t mean it’s an open invitation for them to share the bed.

“Just get in already.” Her voice surprises Harry. Her eyes didn’t even flinch to open. Harry doesn’t need to be told twice, he slides in on his side.

“What are we going to tell the fans?” Her voice a soft echo in the silence.

Harry lets out a long sigh, moving to lay on his back.

“I don’t know. How much do we want them to know? Neither of us have ever let the fans in like this before.”

“But aren’t they going to figure it out anyway? We know that they’re smart, and our lyrics were hardly veiled.”

“I think I would rather tell them. If we can’t stop it from getting out there, I would want to avoid as many conspiracy theories as possible. How do you feel about it?”

Y/n reaches out her hand to connect it with Harry’s. His head snaps over to look at her and she’s staring down at where her fingers fiddle with his rings.

“I feel comfortable with that. The whole world is going to know now.”

His words fill the silence, Y/n only letting out a sigh in response.

“I should call my parents and let them know. Y/S/N too. They deserve to know before the story breaks.”

Y/n shifts back onto her side facing away from him, letting Harry’s hand drop in the process. He turns to his side, facing the same direction as her. She turns back, looking over her shoulder towards him.

“Thank you.” Her voice a soft whisper, her eyes meeting his after glancing over his bare chest.

“What for?” He clears his throat, his voice catching from speaking so softly.

“For being you Harry. For being understanding and loving in spite of everything.” She turns back to rest her head back on the pillow, “I don’t think there’s anyone else I would want to have to go through this with.”

Harry scoots closer, he hovers his arm over her waist before settling it when there weren’t any protests. Y/n places her hand on top of his, holding it securely against her.

“I will always love you, Y/n. I wish we didn’t have to go through this, but I’m glad to have you too.”

Those are the last words they exchange that night.

Y/n’s POV

The sun is rising, alerting me that I need to get up and get ready. I manage to snake my way out of Harry’s grasp before he can wake up as well. I make my way to the bathroom and take a long shower.

“Jordan brought in your suitcase last night.” Harry informs.

“Oh, great. Thank you!”

He simply nods before going into the bathroom himself to get ready for the morning. I wrap the towel a little tighter around my body and quickly make my way downstairs to grab my bag. By the time I get back to Harry’s room I can hear the water running in the shower. It gives me enough time to get dressed and escape down to the kitchen before he exits.

“Good morning!” Anne smiles from her spot at the stove.

“Morning.” I smile, I take a seat next to a sleepy Gemma.

“This coffee isn’t even helping.” Gemma groans, throwing her head on my shoulder and closing her eyes.

“That’s because Mum made it.” Harry says as he walks in with a wet head, “Have Y/n make the next batch. That’ll surely get you wide awake.”

“Sounds like an excuse to get my world famous coffee if you ask me.” I eye him with a smile.

“You caught me, love.” He grabs plates for everyone and starts setting the table, noticing his mother is getting close to being done with all the food. I tap Gemma softly on the shoulder so I can get up and make a new pot of coffee. Harry always used to tell me my coffee was his favorite, it always packed a punch.

We all settle at the table, Harry with a large mug of the hot coffee.

“Anne, everything looks wonderful.” I smile looking over everything she’s prepared.

“Thank you.” She grins.

We all dig in, too hungry to prolong it anymore.

“What time is everyone getting here?” I ask, mainly waiting for Harry to answer.

“Within the hour.”

“Have you guys decided what you’re going to do?” Gemma sets down her fork to look at the both of us, prompting me to turn and look at Harry.

“We’re going to tell the fans. We want them to hear it from us, take away the power from the person who hacked my phone.” Harry explains.

“Yeah, that reminds me. I need to call my parents.” I dab the corners of the mouth with a napkin before excusing myself.

Harry’s POV

I watch as Y/n leaves the room to make the call privately.

“So, how is she?” Anne asks, focusing on me.

“With all things considered, I think she’s doing alright.” I take a sip of the coffee that’s still warm, “We both agreed that we’re going to tell the fans today. Clarify a few things.”

“I think that’s a good idea.” Gemma nods.

“Me too. It’s nice having her here again.” My mum smiles looking at me.

“Mum, don’t go there.” I warn.

“I didn’t mean anything by it!” She defends, “I just said it’s nice.”

“She’s right.” Gemma chimes in, “Y/n has always been our favorite. We all know that your story with her is far from over.”

I simply shake my head, knowing better than to argue with these two. It’s a short while later Y/n makes a reappearance, her eye’s red and puffy.

“Alright, everyone’s in the know.” She sighs.

Right on que there’s a knock on the door. I’m sure it’s just starting that our teams are showing up. Ready to start a new day.

“Alright, so Harry said that you guys agreed on putting out a statement. We can get started on that today. We need to decide how we want to do it, we have a few options.” Jordan explains, “We can type up a statement from both of you and release it on social media or if you guys wanted to say something.”

“Like a video?” Y/n asks.

“Exactly. It’s totally up to you guys, it’s a matter of preference.” Jeff cuts in, “Sometimes it's a little more comfortable to do it that way so you can say exactly what you want and people can hear your tone, but at the same time it’s a lot more personal this way.”

“What do you want to do?” Y/n suddenly turns to get my opinion.

“I’m fine with either-”

“C’mon, what’s your head saying.” She has a soft knowing smile on her face. I smile back at her because how could I not.

“I think that if we’re coming clean and trying to be honest about things, it could be good to have it actually coming from our mouths.”

“I agree.” She turns back to look at Jordan and Jeff, “So how exactly do we go about that?”

“So we’ll start by-”

Jeff stops speaking as his phone buzzes, he glances down quickly and his eyes widen for a second. Whatever it is it’s enough to have completely captured his attention.

“What is it?” I ask, I start spinning one of my rings subconsciously. It takes what feels like minutes of pure silence, but in actuality it’s only a few seconds for him to answer.

“The audio file is out.”

Fuck.

~

i’m sorry for all the switching of POVs but that’s the best way i felt I could communicate how i wanted things to go. 

PART 3?!?! how are we feeling? mini series?

[pixie88]

Charlie

Chapter 11 - Together - Adam & Ellie.

A/N: This chapter is from both M!MC & F!MC POV. I cried at this chapter, you would think for someone who’s given birth 4 times I shouldn’t have to Google what labour is like but my only “normal” labour was over 10 years ago now and the other 3 have been very very fast labours. It is a fast forward chapter sorry but I like doing this series like this but this is also why I haven’t added a DOB because of the fast forward timeline haha. I hope you like it! 😘

If you like it let me know or if you don’t still tell me why I won’t be offended!

I am only tagging those who have asked to be tagged in this series from now on as I don’t want to annoying people with tags. So Let me know if you would like to be tagged and if I missed anyone sorry just let  me know! 

Find previous chapters HERE under Together - Adam & Ellie.

Word count: 1803

WARNINGS: ⚠️ Fluffy fluff, Mild NSFW & adult language.

Pairings: Adam x Ellie.

Enjoy!

M!MC POV

15 Weeks later.

"You can do this Ellie"

Tears are streaming down her face "I can't! It hurts..AHHHHHH!"

"Ellie, look at me, you can do this just breathe. You got this beautiful"

She takes deep breaths on the gas and air, "Now Ellie, I just need to check if we are there yet so after this contraction I'll see how we are doing" April the midwife tells her.

(Her water broke at half 7 this morning just as I got up for work. The contractions started lunch time. It's 2 days until Charlie's due date. I wish I could take the pain away)

I move out the way for April "Has that one gone?" she nods.

"Right, let's have a look" the midwife checks Ellie over "Well, good news you've hit 10 centimeters"

"Another one is com.....Ahhhh!"

I take her hand "Right, now Ellie. I need you to put all your energy into pushing. With your next contraction can you give me a small gentle push. Put your chin to your chest as you push"

She pants while she waits for the next contraction, it isn't long before it's here. Instead of screaming Ellie puts all her effort into pushing "Ellie, that is brilliant! Remember to breathe, small, gentle pushes"

Her grip on my hand tightens, she gasps "That one has gone. How much longer until he's here"

"I think with a few more pushes we'll have the head"

I kiss her knuckles "You're doing amazing beautiful"

"What? Even though I'm nearly breaking your hand?" she smiles.

"Break it! Squeeze as hard as you can if that's what you need"

"Here com..."

"That's it! That's it Ellie, small pushes. I can see the head"April tells her.

A few more pushes later "That's the head out Ellie" She started panting "Next contraction and he'll be here!"

"Oh god here it..." she starts pushing again.

"Here he is" April looks up at the clock "8:05 PM"

"Ellie, You did it, he's here!!" I well up.

"Would you like skin to skin contact?" Ellie nods tears streaming down her face as April places him against her chest under her hospital grown.

"Adam, he's here. He's really here!"

I kiss her forehead "He is!! I'm so proud of you beautiful"

"Would Daddy like to cut the cord?"

"Yeah, I'll give it ago" lifting the grown she turns Charlie (He's so tiny! He's sucking his fingers. He's gorgeous)

"Right, just cut here" the scissors cut through the cord.

Ellie's smiling at me, my heart has never felt so full.

A little while later, after Ellie delivers the afterbirth, vitamin K, stitches, April places Charlie on the weighing scales "Lets see how much you weigh you little beaut.....7lbs 7oz. Now let's give you daddy, so he can dress you, then is mummy breast feeding?"

"I think I'm going to do a bit of both?"

"Great while daddy is getting him dressed why don't you grab a shower or bath and I'll grab you a hot drink and some toast"

Later we are taken up to the neonatal unit where, I get up onto the bed with her, I pull her to me, kiss the top of her head "Ellie, Thank you" I whisper.

She looks up at me, she looks absolutely shattered "Thank you? For what?" she whispers back.

"For giving me a baby. Making me a dad"

She lets out small laugh "I think you'll find you gave me him first. So, thank you!"

I laugh, "True, but you grew him and did the hardest part"

"And I couldn't have done it without you! Adam, we're parents!!"

We both drift off.

1:38 AM

I hear Charlie stirring I pick him up out of the cot bed, I look over to Ellie who is still asleep.

"Hey little man, we need to be quiet. Mummy needs her rest" not wanting to wake her, I give Charlie a bottle, burp him and change his nappy.

Luckily April helped me do it downstairs "Right, we need to remember, we wipe what we see. That's what she told us, isn't it?" after I've changed him, place him on my chest he soon asleep again, I place him in his cot again.

~*~*~*~

4:23 AM

"Such a good boy! Well done!" I hear Ellie whisper. I wake to see her breastfeeding Charlie, she spots me "Hey, go back to sleep. We have this don't we!"

"I didn't hear him stir"

She smiles "I got up to use the toilet when I came back, he was just starting to wake. His nappy isn't full. It's weird!"

I laugh, sit up to kiss her cheek "Weird!" I pull out my phone.

*9 New Messages*

The first one is from Mum.

11:47 PM

[Oh, Adam he's beautiful. My first grandchild 😍 Congratulations to you both and well done to that superstar daughter inlaw. We are at the airport our flight leaves in 20 minutes. We'll see you when you all get home. Well done Adam! We are proud of you both. We love you x]

The next is from Mel.

11:48 PM

[Congratulations!! He is absolutely gorgeous! I can't wait for cuddles with my new grandson 🥰 Well done both of you. Saving that photo as my screen saver. I can't believe I'm a nanna. Thank you so much for sending that. Tell Ellie I've been shopping for you guys all packed and put away. See you guys soon 😊]

Tom.

11:49 PM

[Well done El's and well done Adam....do you have an x-ray booked to make sure she hasn't broken any bones in your hand! Haha. Seriously I'm so happy for you two! Congratulations. My nephew is going to be a little heart breaker that's for sure. Can't wait to meet him]

Nan.

11:50 PM

[How much does he look like you as a baby Adam. He's beautiful. Congratulations mummy and daddy and well done mummy! I saw Mel at yours earlier so I popped in a lasagna in the fridge for you both. You just need to heat it in the oven. I've also done a few batch meals and stuck them in the freezer, there is chilli which Mel got a couple of packets of that ping rice for. There is also bolognese in there you will have to cook the spaghetti and there's a few other bits all labelled for you. So no need cook for a while. Xxx]

There is a few more from other friends.

F!MC POV

"Are you ready beautiful?"

I look up at him "This is it! We get to go home"

"As a family of 3" he places a soft kiss on my lips.

I go to pick up my bag "Don't even think about it Ellie," I hear Adam over my shoulder, I roll my eyes.

"OK, hulk but you can't carry Charlie in his car seat and this bag"

He takes it off me "I can! Now let's get you two home"

We walk down to the car Adam clips Charlie's seat onto the Isofix, I get into the passengers seat.

20 Minutes later we pull up to the house once inside Adam ushers me upstairs to have a bath. I hear Charlie and my breast start to leak "Adam! I'll be down in a second" I quickly brush my hair and head down.

In the living room Adam is on the sofa with Charlie, he passes him over, but Charlie doesn't want to latch on. "Here I got one of the formula ready made bottles out for him" Adam hands me a bottle.

I look at the coffee table and spot them, there are flowers and chocolates on the table. "Who's that from?"

I look at him confused "have a look," he smirks.

He picks up the card out of the flowers. The front of the card reads BEAUTIFUL!

"They are from you!" I melt.

"I got Lisa to make them up for me and Nan to bring them round early this morning"

"They are beautiful! Thank you"

He leans in, his lips brush against mine "No! Thank you!" Adam kisses the top of Charlies head "I love his smell"

"New baby smell"

"I had a text from Mum and your mum they wanted to come round today, but I've told them maybe it best to leave it until tomorrow"

"Give us a chance to settle in first" I smile.

"Yeah, that and I wanted my little family to myself a little while longer" he grins.

~*~*~*~

The next day

Mum, Tom, Nina, Al and Elaine are over for lunch.

Elaine made a platter of sandwiches and snacky bits, "He has your nose Ellie" Nina is cuddling Charlie.

"I hope his eyes change to Adams" Adam squeezes my hand.

"They can change up to a year old" mum says.

"How did he sleep last night?" Tom asks.

"He only woke once!"

I hear a low chuckle coming from Adam, I turn, and he's smiling "Twice actually"

"He did? Why didn't you wake me?"

He smiles, "You looked so peace sleeping. Plus that's what I'm here for"

"Adam & Ellie, your dad and I got something for Charlie. Al go and grab it" Al gets up and walks to the hallway before bringing in a big box.

"I know you have a cot and a moses basket but Sophie's daughter had one for her little boy and swears by it"

"What is it?" Adam asks.

"Next to you crib"

"Oh, wow thank you both" I smile.

~*~*~*~

4 Weeks later I've finished Charlies night feed and put him back down.

I slip back into bed Adams arms come around me, pulling me tight against him "Did someone have a naughty dream?" I whisper as I feel his hard member against the curves of my arse.

"Maybe...its torture not doing anything about it"

I laugh "Just because we can't do that doesn't mean I can't do anything!"

I feel his body tease up "What?" he whispers against my neck.

I turn to face him "There are other ways I can help you scratch a certain itch" I start kissing his neck and push him onto his back.

I trail down his chest until I reach his inner thigh "Ellie, you don't have to"

I smile against him "I want to," I pull down his boxer springing him free, he gasps as I wet the tip.

"Fuck!"

"Shhh! You'll wake Charlie!"

~*~*~*~

The next morning "Ellie, your mum is here!" Adam calls up from downstairs.

"OK, I'll be down in a bit" I make my way downstairs, Adam is at the bottom.

"She in the living room cuddling up to Charlie. Are you excited?"

"Aww, bless her! Super excited!" I smile.

"I find it funny you own a bridal shop but you're going to another to get your wedding dress!"

Continue reading this story here - Chapter 12.

@lem-20​ @aussieez​ @khoicesbyk​ @shewillreadyou​ @txemrn​ @irisofpurple​

[echonidae]

let’s talk commission stuff!

hey folks !!  so i’ve been reorganizing myself to get commissions back on track, and i’ve got some things i’d like to get your input on, if it isn't too much trouble !! ;v;

it’s a long one, so under the cut it goes sdfghghj

a slightly too long tl;dr because apparently this is a 10min read (i'm so sorry): commission revamp on the works! no date for it yet. gonna be easing myself back with just icons for a while at first (no date for that either thoug, not yet), then the revamp will be in full swing with all the other commission options, and the pricetable for them will be changed in the future as well. 

some questions: 

1) i’m rethinking commission types, is there anything you’d like to see as a new option?  2) considering i tend to open only a handful slots every batch, i'm thinking about implementing a waitlist (with a bit of a twist: it's split between Current Batch and Next Batch; a little more complicated than a regular ol' waitlist, allows me to get through some of the waitlist queue as work gets done). would that interest you or is it too much of a headache? 100% open to suggestions! 3) i’m organizing a board on trello for commission stuffs !! any suggestions or specific things you’d like to see there?

so! it’s already been over a year since i last opened commissions and i’d very much like to get back to them ;o; it’s been way too long! i miss working with you folks aaa

i don’t have a reopening date yet, but i’m planning on opening only icons for a while to ease back into the process. later on, i'll open the other commission options too. you see, i’m working on a full revamp of the whole thing, including the terms of service and that info image with the examples (because looking back, i think it no longer really represents my current style and how i really do commissions in terms of just... plain old rendering and polishing), so i’ll be working on new drawings and a new layout too, and all that good jazz :D

for full disclosure, along with this overhaul of the terms and such, i will be updating prices too c: i’m still working on the new values though, since i need to figure out what commission types/options the overhaul will have. which brings me to the first question here: what would you like to see as a commission option? for reference, here’s the og options:

(hoo i need to redo those examples *sweats*)

also, one more thing i’d like to note about this revamp situation: there isn’t a whole lot that’s changing really haha it’s just been a long, long time since i last did commissions, so i’m reviewing terms and i might change stuff that’s become outdated, or that needs clarification. if you’ve commissioned me before, the process itself is still the same so no worries! once the revamp is out, i’ll point out anything that has changed too c:

in regards to price changes, those first icon-only batches will be in their original price, and the new prices will only take effect once the revamp with the other options is out. it will be quite a while before until that, but if you have any concerns, feel free to message me any time ! either way, i’ll keep you folks posted !! i guess i also could post the new prices before implementing them, if that helps!

so, moving on! now to the waitlist situation <:3c as in, i’ve never had one, a while back someone asked if i did, and now that i’m reorganizing things, i’m wondering if it would be good to implement one :3c feel free to send any questions !! or suggestions!! i'm all ears!!!

usually i only open a handful of slots for each batch, right, and once they're all claimed, the commissions are closed until all the slots are finished. folks who missed the slots have to wait until the next batch, and sometimes those batches take a while to come back, and i usually just message those who missed the opening once the new batch is announced.

what i'm thinking for the waitlist is, i'll open it along with the batch of commissions, and limit it to a specific number of spots or close it by a specific date, whichever comes first. to apply for it, people would just need to send the form and i can tell them immediately whether or not i can draw their request, and then they'll be placed on the waitlist in the order they’ve been accepted c: pretty standard stuff.

here’s the important bit: that list is basically split in two. the first handful of people on the list, corresponding to the amount of slots for the current batch, will be reached out to as i finish working on the claimed slots, and then anyone else on the waitlist will be contacted shortly before the next batch. if, by the time the list closes, not all the opened slots have been claimed, folks on the list will simply be moved up the queue accordingly c: all of it would be discussed individually, of course, and very well disclosed in the commission info!

there are other points to it as well: anyone would be able to request a spot on the next batch's waitlist instead of the current one, and anyone can leave either list at any point. folks who had already claimed a slot when it first opened would only be able to apply for the next batch's waitlist (to give everyone a chance of getting one), and people on the list, either for the current or the next round of commissions, can be skipped up to a limit if they're unable to continue the order once i get to them.

oh and, before i forget, with the waitlist in place, i think i’d no longer be able to put slots on hold as i used to (as in, before paying the first invoice), as it’d be unfair to folks on the list. in that case, the person would be placed on the list as well if they want to, and contacted as soon as possible : )

also the "up to 2 slots per person" thing would be on thin ice too haha

anyway, this is kind of what i intended to do back then, with reopening slots as work gets finished, but never got around to. i want to make sure i don’t swamp myself with work, but also have it so that folks who want slots have a good chance of getting them, whether for the current batch or the next, as there's only so many slots i can open and work on at once, and time zones and irl things are to be considered too for anyone interested c:

it also makes it easier for me to keep track of messaging folks about new slots and such, and the list would be made public and easily available for consulting too : D more on this later!

so how's this looking? i've never done waitlists before and barely knew how they're supposed to work before starting to reorganize things, so please do feel free to voice your thoughts !! i’m 100% open to suggestions !!! do you think this system would work out for you? any concerns? if anything is unclear feel free to point it out, i'll do my best to explain the process or change stuff that doesn't quite work!!

so!!! now to the very last thing i wanted to talk about ! trello! 

i’m making a little trello board for updates on commission stuff! my commission info page here on tumblr and on deviantart both have this little section for updates on each slot’s progress, but i admittedly didn't do a good job keeping them updated (and constantly updating two things in different places just. kinda sucks.), so i’ve been diving into trello to unify that update section in one place and keep things nice and organized and transparent : ) it would be super useful for keeping track of the waitlist too, if that becomes a thing, or for updates on commission status and such!

so far i’m only testing things out, so it’s looking like this right now (sorry for the tiny image!):

(the board is lying btw, commissions are very much closed haha) (also if it’s basically unreadable, here’s the upload on sta.sh)

with all those little lists, the “available slots” and “sketch” and “lineart” and whatnot, i would be moving the card along the process : D and adding the appropriate labels, of course

this way i can have those halfsteps labelled too (working on/halfway through/finishing), since there’s only so many colors i can use without making it confusing (and tbh i’m already not too thrilled about color labels as it is, but it beats typing each individual status, and i’d imagine it’s more readable for folks consulting the list as well)

i really like how this looks so far in terms of organization but i’m unsure if the horizontal scrolling is anything but annoying, specially to folks on mobile (with the way i divide my screen on desktop, it certainly isn’t ideal either), so if you have any experience with that, feel free to let me know your thoughts!! there are a thousand different ways to organize this, and this is all a work in progress too c:

so! anything specific you folks would like to see on trello? i know this is a fairly common tool for commission queues and info and such but i’m super new to this platform, so please feel free to send suggestions! ♥

anyway yeah! that’s it! ;0; !

i’m sorry for the super long post, i’ve just been thinking about a lotta stuff haha i feel like i don’t interact a whole lot as it is, and since commissions are very much a team effort, i do want to get input from you folks on it c: it’s good to get a fresh perspective as well!

thank you so much for reading this far !! let me know your thoughts !!! :D ♥

[forgottenword]

Nobody asked for this and I literally have other WIPs and I haven’t gotten around to posting ANYTHING. So here’s this.Also this is written not greatly. It’s my first time trying to write out a story, or even a snippet of one, in years. So bear with me, this is going to be a long journey of finding my style and enjoying writing again.ALSO be warned I did not proof read this (and i will mostly likely never be proof reading this) so um please ignore any typos.

WC: 1818

Hotch x Female Reader (Can be seen as platonic or romantic)

It’d been a hard case. But then again, when did you and the team come back and think “Oh, that one was easy.”? It was only around ten in the morning on a Friday when you all got back to Quantico, and while Hotch sent everyone home to rest for the weekend, you watched as he went straight into his office, closing his door behind him. You mentally rolled your eyes at him and instead of following his orders, you turned to follow the boss man.

“Where you going, pretty lady?” Derek called after you when you weren’t joining the team in the elevator. You stood hesitating, holding open the glass door separating the elevator from the bullpen. You didn’t need to say anything, and instead looked back at him and then back to the door of your chief.

“If anyone will get through to him it’s you, my beauty!” Penelope got out right before the slick metallic elevator doors sandwiched together. You took a deep breath, readying yourself for the stubbornness of a Hotchner.

You take a deep breath before you finally step into the bullpen, your go bag slung over your shoulder, letting the glass door swing gently shut behind you. You let your bag drop as you walk by your desk, already feeling ten times lighter, you make your way to Hotch’s office. After climbing the few steps to his office, you brace yourself for the conversation to come.

It’s true, what Penelope said, you’re the only one that’ll be able to pry Hotch from his work. You joined the team not long after Rossi, the two of you immediately bonding after he got over his lone wolf thing. It didn’t take long for you to bond with the rest of the team either, all of them soon taking you under their wing as a new profiler. However, it didn’t go the same with Hotch. Whether that was for the worse or the better, nobody knew. The two of you bickered constantly. He dropped his cold exterior when you were around and he became just a bit more human. The team didn’t know which they liked better, pre-you Hotch or the Hotch he became when you were around. You fought like siblings most of the time. The team used to tease that it was like the two of you were an old married couple, each other’s work spouse’s, but not anymore out of respect for Haley. Everyone noticed the way he’d smirk just slightly after a squabble between you two, before dropping back into unit chief mode.

But ever since that fateful day a few months back.... even you hadn’t been able to get Hotch to smile. He was working himself into the floor most days and was here earlier than he was before. Nobody dared mentioned his change in attitude, and nobody especially mentioned how the rest of the team all knew you had it in you to put the broken pieces of a man back together to get something at least close to the old Hotch back.

You shook your head of all these thoughts, you bring your knuckles to the smooth exterior of the door, and knocked. You stood for a moment, waiting for his signal to come in, but it never came. Your eyebrows creased on your forehead, your worry lines coming through. You knock again, and once again, no answer. You sigh, and take a step to the side, peaking through his office window. You weren’t surprised to find the man slumped over his work, his eyebrows knitted closed together on his face as he quickly fills out form after form on his desk.

“Fuck it,” You mumble to yourself. God, I really need sleep I’m talking to myself now. You crack the door open enough to slip your head in, you clear your throat, hoping to catch the attention of your superior. Luckily, for you, he looked up at the sudden noise that broke the silence of his office.

“Y/l/n, what are you still doing here? I thought I told everyone to take the day.” He looked up at you for what seemed like a millisecond before his eyes drifted back down to his work. You took this as a your queue to take a small step into the room.

“You did sir, but you said everyone, yet you’re still here.” You kept your tone more formal, you haven’t been your usual self since..

He sighed. “Y/l/n, I really don’t have time for your games right now. Now go home and get some rest, that’s an order.” This time he looked up at you, meeting your eye.

“With all due respect sir, I can’t do that until you agree to leave too.” His eyes hardened as you didn’t take his order, you did your best to not let your eye contact waiver. You prepared yourself for this battle with him before coming in, you weren’t going down with a fight. He dropped his pen and straightened up now. “Y/n, I won’t ask again.”

“Then I won’t be refusing again.” Your crossed your arms over your chest, a determined look taking residence on your face. “Y/n, I don’t have time for this.”

“Then I think it’s time we both head out then. Come on you’ve got Jack waiting up on you and here you are-“ Your pestering sentence was interrupted but a much sharper, harsher one. “Don’t you tell me how and when to parent my son y/l/n.”

“Hotch, god no, I didn’t mean to sir. I’m sorry.” You turned to leave, feeling that you’ve overstayed your welcome and that you wouldn’t be getting through to him this time. “I’ll see you Monday, sir.” You were halfway out the door when his voice stopped you, this time much softer.

“Y/n wait.” His voice was apologetic as he leaned back in his chair, fully looking at you. “I’m sorry for snapping at you. These last few months have just been..” He ran a hand over his face, not being able to finish the sentence.

“Oh, Aaron, believe me, I know. I don’t need you to spell it out for me.” You stared at him, locking eyes and an intense feeling filled the air. After what seemed like hours, you cleared your throat. “I didn’t mean to overstep just then, I just want you to take care of yourself too, sir.”

You watched as he seems to crumble under your words. His tough, put-together facade falling. “You’re here for all of us when we need to take a moment to get ourselves together You allow us to confide in you and let us know you’ll stay strong for us when we can’t. You’re allowed to do that same, Aaron.” His eyes were now trained on the desk, his jaw tight as he clenched his teeth. You knew if he let himself relax he might break, and Aaron Hotchner did not let others see him with his walls down.

“Y/n..” If you were surprised by his use of your first name, you didn’t show it. “I don’t know how to be a good father and a good unit chief. I..” His took a shuddering breath. “I’m afraid.”

“Afraid of what?” You asked as softly as you could.

“Afraid of failing both Jack and the team.” His voice broke at his son’s name. He seemed to be one word away from allowing his mind to take him.

You’d never heard our chief, my boss, sound so broken and lost. The man whose face is made of stone, unchanging and firm, the man who could weather any storm, the man who beat a man into the floorboards our of anger, grief, and to protect his son, looked like a child, his wall down and his vulnerability shining through. He was like a great oak tree, roots running deep, roots that would keep him grounded no matter what might come at him, but right now he looked as if he might allow the current storm take him. You couldn’t allow that.

“Let’s go home Aaron.” You said ever so softly, taking the smallest of steps towards his desk, as if you were approaching a frightened animal. His eyes snapped to yours at the mention of home, don’t read into that, and he took one last, defeated, sigh.

He just sat there, a little blankly, as you cleaned up his desk. After papers into his briefcase, grabbing old coffee cups to be dropped off in the kitchenette, and turning off his lamp, you turned to him expectantly. He was so lost in thought he wasn’t pulled out of his head until you had his chaired turned towards you and your hand was holding his, pulling gently. You gave him a gentle smile, one that just barely pulled at the corners of your mouth, and squeezed his hand. I’m here.

He allowed you to take him to your car and to drive him to his house where Jess was with a young Jack. You walked him to the door and before knocking you turned towards him. He stared ahead, his eyes fogged over by the heavy thoughts in his head.

“Aaron, go he a dad for the weekend, okay? We’ll manage without you if we get a case.” Your words startled him out of his thoughts, and the ending caused him to have a look you couldn’t decipher on his face, sadness perhaps. “It’s only a few days and Reid can probably give you a statistic on how likely it is we’d actually get called in on our weekend off. Any longer without you and all hell’d break loose.”

Your reassurance made his worry lines lessen slightly before he knocked on the door and was welcomed in by his family. You didn’t miss the way Jess looked from you and Aaron, an unreadable look on her face.

Later that night you stopped by with takeout for the three of them from one of Hotch’s favorite local business, and a batch of your famous chocolate chip cookies. You didn’t leave without giving him another warning to not come in.

*******

You weren’t surprised the next morning to see Hotch coming in, albeit an hour or so later than usual. In lieu, he was surprised to see not only you, but the entire team working at their desks on their Saturday off. He didn’t need to ask why they were there or who was behind it. Instead he just took a moment to stare at the back of your head as you spoke animatedly to Derek and Reid. He got the message loud and clear this time, especially considering you hand wrote “We’re here” largely on a piece of paper and stuck it to his desk.

He smiled to himself. Maybe he wasn’t as alone in this dark world as he thought he was. Maybe he’d found his light.

@winterscaptain

[seijuurouxryuu]

wash the sweetness off my title and give me a crown

Title: wash the sweetness off my title and give me a crown Author: Shiro (TeitoxAkashi [AO3]/ seijuurouxryuu [tumblr]) Rating: T Pairing: Tsuna/Fon Event: @khrrarepairweek Prompts: Sugar Baby/Sugar Daddy AU | Idiots to Lovers Tags/Warnings: No Archive Warning

Day 7: Mist Day

Lying in his embrace was what he loved--along with the tender touches, the gentle stroke, the fond smile. Seeing him so relaxed as opposed to how he usually was in the office was so rewarding, that even the money he gave was no longer the main reason why Tsuna stayed. Tsuna stayed because he had fallen for him--his sugar dad.

AO3

Lying in his embrace was what he loved--along with the tender touches, the gentle stroke, the fond smile. Seeing him so relaxed as opposed to how he usually was in the office was so rewarding, that even the money he gave was no longer the main reason why Tsuna stayed. Tsuna stayed because he had fallen for him--his sugar dad.

 Fon chuckled at the adoring gaze Tsuna gave him, thumb caressing his cheeks softly as he held him tight. "What's wrong? Are you not tired?"

 Tsuna nuzzled against the warm palm, humming. "I am, but I want to look at you a bit longer."

 Fon's eyes turned to slit from smiling. "Why so sweet?" He asked without really wanting an answer. He leaned in and kissed Tsuna on the lips. "You did good today, what reward do you want?"

 Tsuna's mood fell a little at that, having to be reminded of their actual relationship. He was reminded of how he was just temporary--never forever. He could not be with him forever even if Tsuna desperately wanted to; that was what they had mentioned in the contract. That someday, they will separate and to never recognise each other ever again. Remembering that burned his heart, like a burning iron poking relentlessly in attempts to pierce through the glass that was his shield.

 It hurt.

 Tsuna shook his head. "No, I'm just doing what I am supposed to do so there's no need for reward." I do not need a reward; I just want you to look at me forever.

 Fon raised an eyebrow. "This is the first time I see anyone rejecting a reward." He stated bluntly. "But no matter, I will reward you still. Because I want to." He added softly to cut off Tsuna's protest. It was true that he wanted to reward Tsuna. The young man had helped him a lot, especially during the party.

 Tsuna was a money launderer who was forced into this business by the environment he lived in. He had a talent for it--all the money he laundered always ended up cleaner than disinfected surfaces.

 Fon found him one fine night where Tsuna fainted beside his car from hunger. He took him in and provided him shelter in a heartbeat, and employed him to be his sole, exclusive money launderer in another. Since then, Tsuna lived very well with stomach full and body warm; he no longer needs to overwork himself with double part-time + money laundering + university and can easily pay off his tuition fees.

 He lived so well, that it felt like a dream to him.

 A year after, their relationship escalated when Fon brought him to a gathering with other underworld leaders. Tsuna did not remember what happen, but he had helped the other fend off a lot of hungry ladies and young men by fiercely making out with the other. The consequence was another contract signed: Being Fon's sugar baby.

 It was wild, now that Tsuna thought of it, embarrassing even, but he did not regret any of his decision in the end.

 Because ever since Fon saved him, he had always loved him.

 Although, Fon was in the dark, of course.

 Fon had brought Tsuna to a party the night before, one that was full with business men of good and bad. One particularly vulgar business man was trying to hit on Fon and had insulted Tsuna throughout. Fon almost jabbed him in the throat and pull out his tongue if not for Tsuna, in a calm manner, talked down the other. It was amazing to see how the skittish young man held his head high as he exposed the ugly man's dirty laundries.

 Fon was enamored.

 Tsuna pouted, pulling at the duvet to cover the lower half of his face. "... Then I want the Salisbury steak you make."

 Fon chuckled as he ruffled the messy brown hair. "Of course." He stood up from the bed as he kissed his forehead. “I’ll be right back.”

 Tsuna flushed and buried himself deeper into the duvet. At the click of bedroom door shut, Tsuna knew he was alone in their bedroom. He sighed and slumped.

 “I want… You to love me. Forever.” He whispered to thin air.

 .

 “The Bank of E, you say?” Reborn raised an eyebrow at Tsuna who had his eyes glued to the computer monitors as he typed furiously on the keyboard. “Yep.” The young man was chipping away through the said bank’s security system, planting unrecognizable codes in each of the originals. He was looking for something; one tiny important detail that he had overlooked for so long.

 His presumably dead father’s account.

 “What makes you think Iemitsu had the mind to keep his British account when he’s off the grid?”

 Iemitsu had went into hiding for almost three years after leaving mafia, feigning his death for the freedom he wished for. His Don knew, but kept quiet for old friend’s sake. Tsuna knew, but it was none of his business to keep quiet.

 Tsuna didn’t hate Iemitsu; he had a grudge with him. For what, only he knew the specifics.

 “He had it under another name. Never used it for so many years it got frozen. Just enough for me to launder it over and back.”

 Reborn raised an eyebrow. “Do you not think someone would realize?”

 Tsuna finally looked up and gave him a deadpanned look. Reborn shrugged, hands raised. “Whatever fits your bill, I guess. Your laundry, your wash.”

 Tsuna looked back at the screen.

 He found the account. Looking at the last date of retrieval, it was his turn to raise an eyebrow. “Well, looks like that dead beat father of mine is making a comeback of some sort.”

 He keyed in the amount of money and bitcoins, and entered.

 “Not that it matters to me.”

 .

 “Exactly 19, 098, 232, 000£ has been transferred to the bank. In two days’ time, I will retrieve it and put it under investment for the upcoming projects.” Tsuna reported beside Fon’s table, putting the relevant documents on his desk as he skimmed through his own copy.

 “10million USD has been transferred over to our sister branches about three days ago; they have been transferred back in batches of 5 since then. And the last 5billion has been written off as the company asset just this morning by the Ministries.”

 Fon nodded, putting down the documents and smiled up at Tsuna. “Good job. This season’s work is done.”

 Tsuna sighed in relief, rolling his stiff shoulders. “Thank you, sir.” Just as he was about to leave for the other to continue his work, he was pulled down by the wrist.

 He sat down on Fon’s leg. “W-wha—”

 Fon gave him a deep kiss.

 “Reward.” He whispered into his mouth.

 .

 Because he no longer needed to do any laundering for the month, Tsuna went back to university and was immediately besieged by piles and piles of assignments. All were easy enough for him to do, but he liked none of them. In fact, they were very annoying theories and calculations, all which Reborn had taught him before. Child’s play, Reborn would say. Tsuna would say its just plain unreasonable because none of them would actually appear in real life.

 Like some Math questions; who the fuck would buy 151 bananas just to give them away to 20 people and count how many unique combinations can be made by each unique banana.

 Tsuna huffed, slumping onto the bench table as he poked at his laptop. He missed being by Fon’s side. He was happy that he finally had holiday from work after 3 months of cracking codes and stuffing money into different laundromats, but at least he was by Fon’s side almost every day. With him in university and Fon working, he could only see him every few days. It was just plain sad for him.

 Perhaps he should ditch the afternoon class and give Fon a surprise…

 His sixth sense suddenly noticed danger and started ringing, but he couldn’t even sit straight before he was knocked out into darkness.

 .

 Fon crushed the tea cup he was holding, murderous aura seeping through his being as he glared up the trembling subordinate of his. “Repeat.”

 “S-sawada disappeared.”

 “How did that happen? Did I not tell each and every one of you to watch over him carefully?”

 The subordinate sweated profusely. “W-we… Got knocked out ourselves.”

 Fon almost wanted to snap his head off. Reborn, who sat opposite of him smoking and drinking rice wine snorted. “Wow, I think it’s time for you to either retrain your subordinates or get new ones. I reckon you do the latter since I want to kill them off myself.” He picked up his phone and started tapping through his contacts. He looked as usual, but he, like Fon, was angered. Tsuna was Fon’s sugar baby, but Tsuna was his student first. The second and last he took in, one of his pride.

 Whoever it was, they better pray that they hide well because once Reborn and Fon find them, they would pay a thousand times more.

 Fon took the napkin from his secretary, I-Pin, and wiped his hands. He wasn’t even smiling anymore as he looked at Reborn. “Find him.” He said to I-Pin. “For every hour he is not found, snap on of these useless trash’s fingers off.”

 The subordinate crumbled and knelt, started pleading desperately as I-Pin waved her hands and two other guys came in to drag the poor dude out.

 “Yes, brother.”

 “Wait.” Reborn interjected before I-Pin took off. They both turned and stare at him as Reborn sneered, almost crushing his phone. “It’s Iemitsu.”

 Fon paused. “I thought he’s off the grid now.”

 “Apparently not.” Reborn tossed him his phone where a picture was on screen.

 A selfie of Iemitsu smiling at a sleeping Tsuna.

 Fon sighed. “I-Pin, prepare some proper gifts.” I-Pin stifled a laugh. “Yes.”

 Reborn smirked at him. “Time to meet the in-laws?”

 Fon rolled his eyes. “Yes, time to meet the in-laws.” He smiled to himself as he touched his pocket where the ring box was.

 .

 Tsuna loved Fon, and Fon knew that all along. Tsuna never realized one thing: Fon loved him all the same and he wanted him to be more than just his sugar baby; he wanted him to be his forever, in Law, in Crime.

--------------------------------

A/N: I ended like that because I've no idea where I want it to go anymore aND I JUST WANT IT TO ENDAs tagged; Tsuna is a money launderer who did it for money to survive university, Fon is a boss of big corporate who needed a money launderer for both the corporate and his triad, and Reborn is Tsuna's tutor who taught him how to launder.

Iemitsu is basically on the run for pissing off a shit ton of Famiglia in Italy and Europe, and because he resigned from Vongola so he no longer has any protection. When Tsuna used his bank account for money laundering, he finally found out what he was doing and decided to 'kidnap' his son to talk and get solace in Fon's triad. That's his baby tuna, dammit. The least his son-in-law could do is to protect his ass!

:3

What grudge Tsuna has against Iemitsu, I'll leave that up to yall.

[I apologize for any grammar, spellings, etc. etc. mistakes]

[hellimagines]

Scared to Love You -- Dettlaff van der Eretein

Masterlist

Request: “hi!! i have a detlaff request!! something like reader was his friend and she knew about syanna’s secret!! she tried to warn detlaff but well he didn’t believe her. later they meet again when geralt convinced detlaff what syanna did and detlaff feels angry at him for treating reader like that! ilysm❤️”

Summary: You and Dettlaff have an argument when you try telling him about who Rhenawedd really is, only for him to lash out and break your heart. 

Warnings: big angst in the beginning, with fluff at the end (as a treat)

Pairing: Dettlaff x fem!reader

Word Count: 1,900+

A/N: I haven’t played Blood and Wine in a while, so I’m sorry if the timeline is a little funky.

A stuffed bear hurtled across the room, exploding into a mess of stuffing and fur when it made contact with the wall, a few inches beside your head. Pieces of the bear got tangled with your hair, but you made no move to pick them out or even spare them a glance. A few more of Dettlaff’s toy creations met the same fate as the vampire destroyed the room in his rage. 

Suddenly he turned on you, his eyes filled with rage. “You’re wrong. Rhenawedd wouldn’t fake her own kidnapping or use me to kill a couple of knights. This is someone else’s doing, she would have no reason for this!” Dettlaff snarled and his face began to contort as his transformation threatened to take over. 

“That’s because she isn’t Rhenawedd, it’s not her real name!” you cried while peeling yourself away from the wall. “Her name is Sylvia Anna, and she is the sister of Duchess Anna Henrietta, I’ve told you this!”

Dettlaff scoffed lowly, “Yes, you have told me about this supposed conspiracy, after admitting to having spied on her.” 

Your cheeks burned at Dettlaff’s words, causing you to scowl up at him. “She was acting strangely and I was worried. Not only about her, but about you. I care about you, more than she does! You are walking into a trap and you are going to get yourself killed!” you yelled at him, no longer trying to keep the peace.

Dettlaff stalked forward, cowering you against the wall once more. “Have you ever stopped to consider that I don’t care about you or what you have to say? I’m aware of your feelings for me, (Y/N), you must at least know that. I can hear your heart race and I can smell your arousal whenever I’m near. Your jealousy of Rhenawedd is a stench that permeates the room, and it disgusts me. Nothing you can say or do will make me love you the way you love me, or care about you as I care for Rhenawedd.”

You tried, god did you try, to keep the quiver from your lip and the tears from your eyes, but you couldn’t. Your heart shattered at your friend’s words, falling to pieces like a weight in your stomach as he glared down at you viciously. For the better part of ten years, you had traveled at Dettlaff’s side, giving him company and keeping him safe. You helped him feed, helped him find comfortable places to stay, helped him with Regis, helped him with Rhenawedd. You did anything he asked, and in turn, he kept you safe and happy; even when he would ask you to find somewhere else for the night because Rhenawedd was there, even when you would have to sleep in the forest or in Regis’ crypt because there was nowhere else, even when he randomly left you alone for days or weeks because ‘Rhenawedd has never seen Skellige, and she’s been sad lately’, you were still happy because Dettlaff was happy and you could still call him your friend. But now, listening to his claws scratching against the wall by your head as he closed his hand into a fist, you felt angry and broken and stupid. So very, very stupid. 

“You are a cruel man, Dettlaff. I would call you a monster, but monsters are brainless creatures that hurt others because that’s all they know how to do. You’re not a monster, you’re just heartless and pathetic,” you spat after a moment to gather your thoughts. Your tears fell down your rage-filled face, slipping into the creases and dripping over your nose and your lips, but you didn’t wipe a single one away. You didn’t care that you probably looked like the naive, foolish girl Dettlaff had seen you as this whole time, your body and your mind felt too exhausted from the crash of heartache you had been hit with. You slammed your hands against his chest, causing him to stumble back in shock from not only the push but your words as well. “I wish you the best of luck in finding Rhenawedd, and I sincerely hope I am wrong because I would hate to have to tell Regis that you died for someone who wouldn’t spare your burning corpse a single glance.”

Dettlaff didn’t make any move to stop you as you left the room and stormed downstairs, leaving him, and the life you had with him, behind.

--

A couple of weeks had passed since your argument with Dettlaff, and you had been living in a small cottage on the outskirts of Beauclair, near the cemetery Regis’ was staying at, courtesy of Orianna. Regis knew of your whereabouts, but when you refused to tell him why you were in the cottage rather than with Dettlaff, he had respectfully let the manner drop. Orianna had been kind enough to give you a job tending to the flowers in her estate and hadn’t bothered with any questions when you told her you were trying to save money so you could go north, away from Toussaint. Needless to say, you were surviving just fine without Dettlaff and had even managed to keep yourself from asking the other vampires about him. However, of course Dettlaff would come barreling into your life once more right when you had managed to put a few pieces of your heart back together. 

It was late and you had just returned home after tending to a new batch of flowers Orianna had received. Your feet ached due to the long journey from the estate back to your cottage, but when you noticed your front door wide open, the pain seemed to vanish. Adrenaline took its place when you heard huffs of rage from inside your house, causing you to grab a nearby shovel before going inside. 

You were expecting to be met with a destroyed home, with what few belongings you had to be tossed on the floor and the furniture to be upturned. Instead, everything was just how you had left it this morning, minus the shaking vampire on your couch. You knew it was Dettlaff before he raised his head, recognizing the gothic coat and black hair instantly. When Dettlaff looked at you, his blue eyes didn’t hold any of the rage you had seen the last time you saw him, and instead were filled with sorrow- no doubt mimicking the own heartbreak in your eyes.

“What are you doing here?” you questioned when Dettlaff didn’t speak, setting the shovel down and shutting your front door. 

Dettlaff remained silent for a few more minutes, staring at you as though he had no idea why he was there. He swallowed thickly before standing, and his clawed hand twitched at his side, in an effort to keep from reaching out to you. “I’m sorry,” he said quickly, the words tumbling off his tongue in a nearly illegible speed. “What I said to you was cruel, and I’m sorry. I didn’t mean any of it, I was just so angry and hurt at the thought of Rhenawedd using me as a weapon. It does not excuse my words or my actions, but I need you to know that I didn’t mean any of it. I do care about you, I always have, and I will never stop caring about you.”

You ignored the ache in your chest to reach out for him. “Why are you here, Dettlaff?” you repeated, schooling your face into one of neutrality. 

“You were right. About Rhen-... about Syanna. Geralt and Regis cornered me and brought Syanna along with them. She admitted to faking the kidnapping and being the one responsible for the letters.” Your eyes widened in brief shock at Dettlaff’s words. “I wanted to go after her and kill her, kill her for what she did, and for what I did to you. But Regis said you wouldn’t appreciate that as much as me coming to you without blood all over me.”

“Regis is a smart man,” you hummed while eyeing the vampire before you. His words were honest, you could tell, but it didn’t fix the hollowness you still felt inside your chest. “I’m sorry you got hurt, Dettlaff, but it doesn’t make up for the fact that you hurt me, really bad.”

“I know and I’m so sorry,” he practically whined, quickly come to stand before you. “When I first sensed that you saw me as more than a friend, I became terrified. I didn’t understand how, after everything you had seen me do, you could care for me in such an intimate way. I didn’t want to have you by my side only to watch you die from old age or disease or a mortal wound. So I hoped if I ignored your feelings, and in turn my own, you would give up and leave.”

“And yet you allowed Syanna to love you and stand by your side,” you muttered with a frown.

“I was never scared of losing her or watching her die, not like I am with you. When I sensed your sadness during our fight, it broke something in me. I never wished to hurt you or to be the cause of your despair, and for that, I will never truly forgive myself. I didn’t come here to beg for your forgiveness, either, to play the victim in a fight I caused. I came here to make sure you know how much I care about you and how much I love you. If you wish for me to leave, I will-”

You interrupted Dettlaff before he could finish his sentence, and shook your head. “I don’t want you to leave. I understand now, why you did what you did, and even though I’m still hurt, I do forgive you. I’ve always seen you as strong and sensitive and kind, but I never thought that you might be scared of loving me.”

Dettlaff reached forward and pulled you against his body, sighing a breath of relief when you went willing. You uncrossed your arms and wrapped them around his waist, clutching the back of his coat in a white-knuckled grip. He had one hand gripping your hip and the other cradling the back of your head, holding you tightly against his body. As you breathed in the familiar scent of expensive Beauclair cologne, your breath stuttered with the sudden urge to cry. Dettlaff muttered apologies, words of praise, and promises-to-come as you quietly sobbed against his chest. 

“Wherever we go from here, and I do mean we, I will never treat you so horribly again. I love you so very much, (Y/N), and I regret taking so long to be honest with you about it,” Dettlaff whispered once your sobs turned to sniffles and your sniffles to silent hiccups. 

As exhaustion settled into your bones, making your body feel heavy and your brain feel foggy, all you could manage was a nod. You would have time later for heartfelt words and soft kisses and nights spent clutching bedsheets, but for now, you were content to be held in his arms as your heart thrummed with happiness once again.

[jungshookz]

stuck with you || [roommate!taehyung]

❥ pairing: kim taehyung x reader

❥ genre: university!au, enemies-to-lovers, fratboy!tae??, comedy that’ll either make you chuckle out loud or roll your eyes and snoRT or maybe u won’t laugh that’s cool too, domestic fluff because i want to go grocery shopping with tae toO (but also fluff in general!!), smutty smut so make sure to read this with your phone’s brightness lowered all the dang way, hi @ librarian!namjoon!!! fratboy!jungkook is also in here 

❥ wordcount: 37k if ur reading this on mobile get rekt

❥ summary: kim taehyung becoming your new roommate is definitely up there on the list of the worst things that have ever happened to you. 

❥ note: it’s finally here! this is my biGGEst fic to date and all i’m going to say is get comfortable and maybe get a snack because you, my friend, are about to read a whole ass novel and embark on a rollercoaster of a fiC. hopefully this was worth the wait!! i didn’t think i was capable of writing so much and my fingers are about to fall off but it was totaLLY worth it!!!! there’s kind of a 10 things i hate about you vibe if u squint and also most of the dumB things tae does in this fic were inspired by my ex-roommate so i hope she never finds this lol but also everyone say thank u to her for inspiring roommate!tae! i hope u guys love/hate him just as much as i do! happy reading!! 

pst if u wanna talk to y/n or tae (or even applicant #8 if ur brave enough) ((you’ll get it soon)) u know what to do ;-)

(gif isn’t mine!)

(((and the read more function iS there but most of the time it doesn’t work on mobile :// i am sorry don’t attack me by sending passive-aggressive anon messages)))

                                    ━━━━━━༻❁༺━━━━━━

“what do you mean you’re moving out?!”

namjoon can safely say that he’s never seen such pure, unadulterated rage simmering in your eyes

some apple juice dribbles out from your straw as your grip tightens around your juice box

he swallows nervously and tugs at his collar

is it just him or is it getting kind of hot in here

“i-i mean, you know, i… i don’t really know how else to explain it..,., i’m moVing out.,.”

it’s a good thing he decided to break it to you while you guys were in a public space because he knows what you’re capable of

all he’s going to say is that there are witnesses everywhere so you probably shouldn’t hurt him right now

“who are you going to be living with?” you huff and lean forward a little “i’ll kill them.”

“i’ll be living by myself…,.,” namjoon smiles sheepishly “…please don’t kill me” he adds meekly

“no promises.” you mutter grumpily and take a sip of juice

you knEW there was a reason why namjoon gave you two cookies instead of one today

he was trying to butter you up!!!!!

that smooth bastard

a moment of silence goes by

you groan and immediately slump down on the table and namjoon jumps slightly

“namjOON why didn’t you tell me earlier??”

“i’m sorry!!!!!! i’ll make it up to you somehow!!!!” he reaches across the table to pat your head “and i’ll pay my share of the rent for this month so you don’t have to worry about the power going out!”

“that’s not the poinT, joon! the point is in first year we promised we’d live with each other until we graduated and you’re pulling out of the deal a yEAR earlier-“

“i will very gladly help you find a new roommate! i know you haTe meeting new people so i will happily sit by your side as we meet all the candidates. look, i already put an ad up for you and a bunch of people already messaged me saying that they were interested!”

“but i don’t want a new roommate.” you grumble and prop an elbow up on the table before resting your cheek against your fist “who’s going to pack my lunches for me now?”

“is that the only reason why you’ve kept me around for so long?” namjoon teases lightly and reaches across to pinch your cheek “c’mon, it’s not going to be all that bad! part of university life is opening yourself up to new people and all that!”

namjoon frowns slightly when you don’t respond

there’s a little divot in between your brows and the smallest of pouts on your mouth anD your eyes are getting a little glossy so he can’t help but feel a little bad

it’s not that he’s sick of living with you

it’s just that.,,. he feels like third year is a good time to get his own place!

he’s loVed living with you and it’s not like he’s never going to see you again!!!!! he’ll just see you less!!

besides the fact that you two literally live together you guys practically see each other every day on campus because you always have lunch together (except for wednesdays and the occasional friday when namjoon has lectures/tutorial sessions that bleed into lunch time)

not to mention you’re always welcome to come and hang out at his new bachelor pad

namjoon purses his lips before letting out a sigh “say, how about this? i’ll continue to pack your lunches two times a week, how does that sound?”

you slurp up the rest of your juice and namjoon reaches over to yank the straw out of your mouth when he notices you starting to chew on it (you always start chewing on your straws when you’re stressed about something)

“are we still going to hang out on the weekends and stuff?”

“of course! and you can come hang out with me at the library after classes and we can walk to the bus stop together and then go our separate ways”

namjoon probably shouldn’t have thrown in that last bit but oh well

you let out a sigh “pack my lunches three times a week and you have yourself a deal.”

namjoon sticks his hand out and you give him a firm shake and follow it up with a fist bump before ending it by wrapping your pinky around his (when u guys came up with this handshake he was the one who added that last part)

“so -“ you raise a brow “let’s figure out who i’m going to be replacing you with.”

namjoon gives you a warning look

and so, it begins

the hunt for your new roommate

this should be easy!

a lot of people have contacted namjoon through his ad showing interest in the apartment and namjoon did you the favour of organising all the names onto one long list

namjoon actually took care of a lot of the details so all you have to do is sit there and talk to people

and you love talking to people!!!

you have a long day ahead of you but if it ends in you getting a new roommate you’ll be satisfied

luckily it’s a sunday and you don’t usually have plans on sunday

you even put out snacks and drinks for them on the coffee table to show how amazing of a roommate you’ll be (but also you put it out mainly because you know you’re going to become peckish halfway through the day)

“so, what are some of your hobbies?” you smile lightly and lean back against the couch

katie (she’s suPEr duper nice and you have a good feeling about her and she’s literally the firSt person you’re interviewing) grins excitedly before clapping her hands together and turning around to unzip her backpack

your brows knit together in confusion when you hear the slight tinkering of glass coming from her bag

and then she unzips it fully and shows you what’s inside

huh

“you have a bag of… empty mason jars…?” you trail off and tilt your head

why in the world would she collect empty mason jars

maybe she… sells mason jars?

either way it’s kind of odd but as long as she’s not hurting anyone it’s whatever

you can deal with a mason jar hoarder

“yep!” katie sighs and taps the side of the jar gently “i collect sounds.”

you blink owlishly at her and the whole time she keeps a faT smile on her face

“you collect- i’m sorry, i don’t think i follow-”

“do you like harry styles? i went to his concert last summer.”

you’re not sure how harry styles relates to mason jars but

aight

“oh yeah, i love harry styles, he’s very easy on the eyes and his songs are-“ she pulls out a mason jar and turns it so that you can look at the label on the front “…does that say harry styles concert?”  

“this memory is vEry special to me so i don’t usually open it, but i quite like you, so i’ll share some of this with you-“ she leans forward and untwists the cap before lifting it juSt a little bit

“oh, jesus.” namjoon mutters to himself

…

namjoon raises a brow when he sees you lean in a little

you have goT to be kidding

you cannot seriously be falling for this  

“ya hear that?????” she squeals and closes the jar before tucking it back into her bag “when i get angry i just listen to my sounds and they bring me to my happy place.” she sighs and cradles another jar to her chest

you squint your eyes to read the label

the label on it says-  

my goD that jar is labelled ‘grandma’s funeral’

what sound would even come out of that jar?? the sound of her family soBBing??

“o-oh! that’s… great. it’s good to have… hobbies.” your knuckles tighten around the clipboard and you swallow thickly

okay

so

it turns out katie is on a one way train to crazy town

“…we’ll let you know!”

now

the next guy

you’re definitely a fan of

probably even more than katie before you found out she was kind of veRy crazy

in fact

you like him so much that you’re allowing him to stay and chat for longer since the next person texted namjoon and said they were going to be a little late

his name is bukjoon which is a name you’ve never really heard before but the most important thing here is that he seems like a sweet guy anD he seems like a great roommate

he fits into your life perfectly and you’re honestly ready to just hand him a pen so that he can sign the lease

namjoon, on the other hand

namjoon doesn’t like the vibes from this guy because he’s eErily similar to him and he doesn’t know how you’re not picking that up

also he brought homemade chocolate chip cookies shaped like stars and you’ve already eaten like half the batch and namjoon doesn’t like that you haven’t touched the finger sandwiches that he made for you

“just to double check… your- your name is bukjoon. kim bukjoon?” namjoon tilts his head slightly before looking down at the list of names again

“yep!” the other male smiles brightly at namjoon before turning to look at you “now, a little bit about me as a potential roommate… i love cooking, cleaning, doing laundry - that includes ironing, steaming - i love all of it!”

you gasp

“that totally works out because usually namjoon takes care of the cooking and the cleaning and the laundry! i help take out the trash so-“

“oh, great! i hate taking out the trash.” bukjoon laughs lightly and namjoon narrows his eyes when he spots the faintest of dimples embedded in his cheeks

what in the freSH hell is this

he trails his eyes over bukjoon’s crisp button up tucked into a pair of slacks

his sensible dress shoes glint slightly from the lights and namjoon looks down at his own pair of dress shoes

glint

he isn’t going to lie

he feels slightly threatened right now

“also, i’m a total nature documentary freak-“

“oh my god, that’s so perfect! i love watching nature documentaries and i think you’ll make a great replacement for nam-“

“you know whAT-“ namjoon looks bukjoon dead in the eye as he aggressively scratches out his name on the clipboard “we’ll let you know.” he smiles cooly and tilts his head “…you can leave now.”

and bukjoon can take his damn star-shaped cookies with him for aLL namjoon cares

now, this guy…  

to say the least,,.

is very, very creepy (he didn’t even write his name down on the sign up sheet - he wrote down ‘applicant #8’)

“so…” you clear your throat after a full minute of silence (you asked him how his day was going so far and he just glared at you in response) “are you a student or do you wo-“

“i work.”

“cool! what kind of job-“

“i’m an embalmer.”

ah

yes

embalming

…what the heck is embalming

“an embalmer- sorry, what’s an embalmer?” you furrow your brows and lean forward a little bit

“i preserve corpses. would you like to know more about how to embalm bodies?”

okay ur not saying that’s a little weird

but uh

that’s a liTTle weird

“not particu-“

“there’s a lot of work that goes into it. for example, i have to embalm arteries as well after completely draining the blood from the heart.”

wait what

“how about you tell us about how you’d be as a potential roommate for y/n?” namjoon clears his throat and gives applicant #8 a polite smile

“i keep things very clean. very neat. i go to bed quite late. i do not usually invite guests over. i am quiet. please respect my privacy. do not go into my room. especially at night.”

you nod in agreement “yes, of course, i would never want to invade-“

“also, if the police ever call you, it would be best if you just pretended that you’ve never heard of me.”

uH

you swallow thickly and scoot a little closer to namjoon

namjoon reaches over and holds his arm out over you as if the both of you are preparing for this guy to just whiP a knife out and stab your eyes out

applicant #8 looks around before staring at you dead in the eye

you smile uneasily and wrap an arm around namjoon’s bicep “hey, that’s… funny! that’s a funny joke-“

“i see dead people.”

“wE will let you know!” both you and namjoon exclaim simultaneously

“i don’t know how much longer i can do this.” you groan and flop your arm over your eyes as you slump back against the couch

“you better buCk up because we’re only halfway through with the list.” namjoon looks over at the front door when the doorbell rings

you give your cheeks a couple pats to wake yourself up

c’mon

you can do this

you just have to get through a handful of people and then you’ll be done

namjoon squeezes his own cheeks because they’re so soRe from smiling politely all day

he plasters another smile on his face as he opens the door

“hi, you must be-“

“before we get started, you need to know a couple of things about me.” she pushes past namjoon and plops herself down on the couch

you and namjoon exchange glances and joon shrugs before closing the door

“well…” you clear your throat and cross your legs “that is what we’re here for, so-“

“firstly, i’m going to need to rearrange all of this furniture after moving in. the feng shui in here is way off.” she scrunches her nose up before digging through her huGe suede mary poppins looking bag

“i don’t know a lot about feng shui but i’d be happy to rearrange the furniture if you-“

“i’m in touch with my inner chi. are you?” she raises a brow and pulls out a tuft of sage and a lighter “the energy here is… dark. i’ll cleanse this place for you.”

“that’s really not- well, actually, the last guy in here was kind of creepy so maybe the sage is a good idea.” the sage immediately starts smoking as soon as she lights it and she gets up and starts pacing around the living room “i, uh, i don’t know a lot about my inner chi either, so…”

“yeah, that’s pretty obvious.” she snorts and waves the stick around

okay

weLL

you could do without the attitude but so far she seems harmless

“…is that going to set off the fire alarm?”

“i’ll go and open the balcony doors.” namjoon murmurs and points to the balcony windows before getting up off the couch

“i need to be in the privacy of this apartment for at least five hours a day because i like to take the time to meditate alone and i don’t want you to disturb my crystals.”

“you don’t want me to disturb your crystals…?”

“they charge in the sun to regenerate energy so i’ll need you out of the apartment from… 12 to 5. crystals are good for my energy and my soul.”

jesus christ

that’s IT

you’ve had ENOUGH

“i’m going to need you out of my apartment right now before i shove those crystals up your-“

“we’ll let you know!” namjoon slaps a hand over your mouth before you get to finish threatening her

“well… what do you think?” namjoon shuts the door behind him after escorting the crazy sage lady out (she was upset that she wasted her tuft of sage at a place she definitely wasn’t going to be living in and you’re pretty sure she tried casting a curse over the apartment but namjoon kicked her out before she had a chance to do that) “that was everyone…”

“you’re kidding me. that was everyone?” you frown and look over the list of names that have all been crossed out

“i mean… we met twenty eight candidates today… that’s a lot of people!” namjoon purses his lips and taps his pencil against the clipboard “just to let you know, that bukjoon guy was my least favourite-“

“i liked him! he was really nice-“

“he wasn’T-“

“he was-!”

“look, i have to go because i took the late night shift at the library-“ namjoon checks the time on his watch and winces slightly “shit, i’m going to be late!” he hands you his clipboard before picking his backpack up off the couch and unzipping it to check if he has everything “dinner’s in the fridge, don’t open the door for strangers - definitely don’t open the door for that embalmer guy if he comes back - if you turn the stove on please remember to turn it off… i’ll be back by midnight!” he smiles brightly and swings his backpack over his shoulder

“see you later, alligator” you hum and set the clipboard aside before making yourself comfortable on the couch

“in a while, crocodile!”

slam

you purse your lips in thought as you flick through all the new movies and shows on netflix

you could binge watch friends for like the tenth time

maybe watch that new murder mystery movie?

you definitely don’t want to watch a horror movie alone because you get the feeling that applicant #8 is going to pop out of nowhere and slit your throat with a dull knife

oOh you can watch that new nature docuseries

surprisingly those nature documentaries aren’t as boring as you thought they were

you can thank namjoon for your newfound love for nature documentaries

you nod to yourself and turn the volume up before pulling the throw blanket up to your chin

time to watch tv until your eyes roll out of your skull!!!

>:-)

“nothing symbolises our relationship with the high seas better than the blue whale…”

it’s about 10:30 now

namjoon left for work at around 5

the pasta casserole that namjoon made for you sits on the coffee table half eaten and with a fork stabbed into it

an open bag of tortilla chips and some guacamole also sit abandoned on the table

you’re pretty sure you ate like a family sized serving of pasta but you know what

sometimes it just be like dat!!

you’re also pretty sure namjoon would’ve scolded you for not using a plate and instead eating straight out of the pan but he’s not here so touGH luck

you’re on episode five-and-a-half of the docuseries (each episode is about an hour long) and unsurprisingly your eyes are starting to get a bit fuzzy because of how long you’ve been staring at the screen

which is why you took a break from your binge to take a shower just to give your eyes a break

you left the episode playing because it always creeps you out when the apartment is completely silent and you’re home alone

so now you’re sitting on the arm of the couch with your hair wrapped up in a towel and a toothbrush shoved into your mouth

“weighing 200 tons and 30 metres long, these are the largest animals ever to have existed…” you brows knit together in fascination when a blue whale swims across the screen

wowIE those things are huge

you reach down to scratch at the side of your bare thigh before continuing to brush your teeth

chakkachakkachakkachakka

you’re so enthralled with the whale on the screen that it takes you a couple seconds to register that someone’s knocking on the front door

you turn to look at the door and feel a little bit of pAnic rise within you when you hear them knock again

you don’t know if you should quickly run to the bathroom to spit your toothpaste out or just open the door with a frothy mouth

eh

it’s probably namjoon

he always forgets his house keys!!!

“i’m comingph, i’m comingph!” you reach up to wipe at the toothpaste beginning to dribble out of your mouth as you make your way to the door

chakkachakkachakkachakka

you shove your toothbrush into the side of your mouth before reaching down for the handle

“did yvou pheriously forget your keyphs again-?!” you open the door expecting to see namjoon standing there with a sheepish smile on his face but-

huh

“…you’re not namvjoon.”

oh good god

you have no idea who this person is but whoever he is he’s making you sweAT

he’s wearing a plain white tee tucked into a pair of distressed blue jeans and he has a comfy looking black and white flannel draped over him as well

obviously dyed honey brown hair peeks out from underneath his beanie

two black studs in his ears

“sorry to let you down.” he smirks lightly and his tongue pokes out to swipe over his bottom lip

he has the kind of face that you would describe as rather boyish and handsome

very chiseled as well

and that voice

oh, that voice

it’s slow and deep and it feels like you’re wading through warm honey

it hits you that you literally don’t have any shorts on and you instinctively tug your (namjoon’s) shirt down in a pathetic attempt to cover up a little more

you pull your toothbrush out of your mouth and pRay that you don’t accidentally spit on this veRy attractive stranger and you reach up to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand

you have half a mind to just swallow the mouthful of toothpaste but that’s just nasty yo

so you kind of manoeuvre the toothpaste to one side of your mouth so that you can speak normally

“can i help u?” you clear your throat

he pulls a flyer out from his back pocket and you recognise that it’s the roommate flyer namjoon made

oh

“you still looking for a roommate?”

“who… wants to know?” you clear your throat and keep your eyes trained on the flyer

“i’m taehyung. kim taehyung.”

cool so he introduces himself like james bond

“my friends call me tae.”  

“well, taehyung, it’s nice to meet you. i’m y/n y/l/n. …my friends call me… y/n…” you stick your hand out for him to shake and turn your head discreetly to look over your shoulder

the living room is a mESS

you turn back to face him “…could you give me a minute?”

taehyung doesn’t get a chance to respond before you’re shuTTing the door in his face

the next minute spent is the most chaotic minute you’ve ever experienced in your entire life

you turn the volume down on the tv and for a secOnd you can’t help but wonder if taehyung is going to judge you based on what you’re watching on netflix

maybe you should turn the tv off??

nO no you’re overthinking it just leave it on

you put the bag of chips and the tub of guac on the empty side of the casserole dish before rushing to the kitchen and shoving everyThing into the fridge

you spit the toothpaste out into the sink and quickly rinse your mouth out before tossing your toothbrush aside

it would probably be a good idea to leave your hair up in a towel otherwise your wet hair is going to make you look like a drowned rat

is it too late to slap on some makeup??? maybe cover up the pimple on your forehead or drAw some damn eyebrows on????

taehyung raises a brow when he hears a loud thump from inside the apartment

hm

you nearly trip over yourself as you hop back to the front door while slipping a pair of pyjama shorts on

jesus chRISt

you check yourself out in the mirror hanging on the wall next to the coatrack

well

this is as presentable as you’re going to get

“everything okay?” taehyung laughs lightly when you open the door sliGhtly out of breath

“everything’s perfect!” you nod enthusiastically “come on in” you step aside to let taehyung in and you let out a breath as you shut the door behind you

okay

just take it easy

be cool

be cool!!

you’re super cool

cooler than a dang cucumber that’s how cool you are

“pretty nice place you got here…” taehyung hums as he looks around and makes his way to the couch

“thank you! make yourself comfortable… do you want some tea, or coffee, or… i have a couple juice boxes in the fridge if you’re into that?” you scratch the back of your neck and gesture towards the kitchen

“a juice box sounds nice!” he smiles and plops himself down on the couch and smooths his hand over the soft fabric

you nod and head to the kitchen but turn to glance at him over your shoulder briefly “so, taehyung, tell me about yourself!”

“well, i’m a third-year student, i’m majoring in business and economics, minoring in art history, uh… oh, sorry i came by unannounced, by the way! i meant to sign up for a slot but i completely forgot and i figured it’d be alright to swing by briefly just to talk to you-“

“it’s totally fine! no big deal” you step out from the kitchen with two boxes of juice in your hands and you hand one to taehyung before sitting down next to him “as you saw i was just getting ready for bed but it’s honestly no biggie”

he punctures the hole with the straw before taking a sip

“tell me about your previous living situations” you cross your legs and turn to face him

taehyung tucks one leg under the other and turns to face you a little more

“well, i used to live in a… house, with a couple of other guys, but uh, i just thought it’d be a good idea to find a place with less people, you know? sharing a washroom with four other guys gets rough sometimes.” he snorts lightly and takes another sip of juice

“hm, that’s a fair point. i mean, if you lived here you would have to share a washroom with me but i’m a loT cleaner than four guys.” your eyes flicker to the tv for a second

you’ve always been awful at maintaining eye contact and there’s nO way you’re going to be able to hold taehyung’s gaze for more than five seconds without breaking into a cold sweat

“yeah, i don’t think i have to worry about you pissing all over the floors.” taehyung teases and shakes his head “but, a little bit more about myself as a roommate since that’s what i’m here for - i’m pretty chill, so i don’t think you have a lot you need to worry about. y’know, i try to keep things neat, try to keep things quiet and respectful and all that. you don’t have to worry about me bugging you or anything because i usually just keep to myself - it won’t even feel like you have a roommate!” he jokes before clearing his throat “is there anything that you… want to share with me?”

“well, let me think…” you purse your lips in thought and shift slightly “i think it’s super important that household chores are split evenly so like… if you finish the milk then yoU should be responsible for buying a brand new carton of milk at the supermarket! i actually have a chore chart stuck on the fridge so that we can see who’s in charge of what for the week.”

you falter slightly

oof

does the whole chore chart thing make u sound dorky

to be fair the chore chart was namjoon’s idea so he’S the dork in this situation but there’s no time to expLAIN

QUICK change the subject and make yourself sound like leSS of a freak

“uh, paying the bills on time is always a good thing! so… as long as you have money for me at the end of each month it’ll keep me from nagging you - noT that i’m like constantly going to be nagging you if you moved in with me but you know-“

taehyung lets himself space out for a moment as you continue to babble on and on

from what he can gather you seem like a decent person

a little bit of a doofus but still a decent person

you’re not bad to look at either

there’s something oddly endearing about you but he can’t quite figure it out yet

he nods and smiles and continues to pretend like he’s listening to you when in reality he’s singing that new taylor swift song in his head

all he has to do is play along and work his charm so that he can weasel his way into this apartment

are you still talking about the chore chart?

he has to admit

you seem like you’re a little uptight about certain things but honestly he just needs a place to live for the next year so he’ll have to find a way to deal with it

“you can go over the rules when i officially move in, how does that sound?” taehyung reaches out and places his hand over yours and you feel your cheeks flush slightly at the sudden initiation of c o n t a c t

“oh! uh, well, there’s a whole list of people that are also looking to move in so i can’t just…”

this is why you can’t do these things alone

if namjoon was here he would know exactly what to do

he’d probably tell the applicant that he’ll keep in touch and let him know but it seems like taehyung is taking advantage of the fact that you are alone..,., and defenceless.,,..

taehyung is noT leaving without knowing that he’s going to be your new roommate

“i’d like to move in as soon as possible, if that’s okay with you.”

“i, um, well, the lease expires this thursday and namjoon’s moving out on friday-“

“great! i can totally do friday.” taehyung chirps and sets his empty juice box down on the coffee table

waiT

your eyes widen when you realise that he’s talking as if you agreed to let him move in which is something you definitely did noT do yet

“moving in will be easy because i only have a couple of boxes of stuff anyway.” he hums and scoots a little closer to you until his knee bumps up against yours

“i-i, uH, you see, the thing is..,,.” you laugh uneasily and put your own juice box down “i still need to think about-“

“i personally think we’d make great roommates, don’t you, darling?” he hums and reaches over to tuck a strand of hair back into your towel with his pinky and you swallow thickly

for some reason you feel like you’re not allowed to say no to him

you already hate saying no to people but you feel like you really reaLLY can’t say no to taehyung

friCk

it feels like everything is happening too quickly

what would namjoon do

#wwnd!!!!!!!!

okay

u know what

just say: ’i’ll let you know’

i’ll

let

you

know

:-)

saY IT

….SAY IT

“…i’ll see you on thursday, y/l/n!” taehyung chirps happily as he steps into the elevator

he pokes his head out to give you one last wave and you let out a nervous laugh before shooting him a thumbs up

you close the door and reach up to scratch your head  

what just happened

what just haPPEneD

“…what just happened?” you breathe out and press your hands against your reddening cheeks

what just happened was that yoU just found your new roommate

goodbye kim namjoon

hello kim taehyung

you feel like you need to take another shower to shake yourself out of the funk that kim taehyung has put you in

“oh, by the way!!!! i don’t know how i completely forgot to tell you this but - i found a roommate!” you smile excitedly as you and joon take a seat at your usual lunch table

“oh!!!!!! that’s great!!!” namjoon grins while polishing his apple on his sweater vest “what’s his name?” he falters and narrows his eyes at you “…it better noT be buk-“

“taehyung! kim taehyung? something like that.” you shrug and take your baggie of baby carrots and cucumbers out of your lunch box

namjoon packed ur lunch for you :~)

“kim taehyung? kim… taehyung…” namjoon furrows his brows

that name sounds oddly familiar and he doesn’t know why

“i think you’ll really like him! he’s super polite and very charming and-“

“oh! kim taehyung!” namjoon’s eyes light up for a second when he remembers the face to the name

and then you can point out the moment the light dies in his eyes

uh oh

that doesn’t seem good

“oh. kim taehyung…” he lets out a breath “huh. i didn’t think you… would get along with someone like him.”

“what are you talking about?” you knit your brows together in confusion

namjoon presses his lips together and shrugs

“you really haven’t heard about kim taehyung? at all?”

you shake your head

“all i’m going to say is one time he came into the library with his frAT-bro friends - they were all very obviously drunk out of their minds - and he used the copier machine to make copies of his bare ass before plastering it around the library.” namjoon raises a brow before shuddering “i still get nightmares about it. i can’t touch the copier machine without disinfecting it three times beforehand.”

you wince

oof

that doesn’t seem like someone you’d want to be roomies with

“maybe we’re thinking of different kim taehyungs?” you offer meekly and crunch down on a carrot

“mm… no. i’m sure we’re talking about the exact same one. super deep voice - one that would be good for narrating a nature doc or one of those asmr videos on youtube - dyed brown hair - i think i saw him walking around with like, eLmo red hair once - are we talking about the same one?”

frick

“…okay, we’re talking about the same one.” you swallow your bite and suck some hummus off your thumb “well, you said he was drunk! people do silly things all the time when they’re drunk. you know, like that time you got super wasted and wouldn’t let me leave your room until i sat down and read the entire dictionary as your bedtime story.”

“what are you two squabbling about without us?” you jump when hoseok and jin suddenly appear with their lunches

hoseok slides in next to you and steals the baby carrot pinched in between your fingers before popping it into his mouth

“y/n’s new roommate is kim taehyung.” namjoon deadpans and hoseok and jin immediately exchange glances

“oh boy”

“bold choice”

“wha- am i the only one who doesn’T know about kim taehyung??” you exasperate and steal one of hobi’s fries in retaliation

he smacks your hand immediately and you scowl

“he’s a playboy - and that’s coming from me.” jin raises a brow and namjoon nods in agreement

“so what? what he does in his personal life doesn’t matter to me.”

“it’ll matter when he starts bringing girls home and the only thing you’ll be able to hear is obnoxious moaning aND the headboard knocking against the wall.” hobi snorts

“well, if it gets out of hand i’m sure he’ll tone it down after i talk to him about it.” you grumble and push your lunch box away a liTTle more aggressively than intended

“as if kim taehyung is going to listen to you - you’re about as intimidating as a baby lamb, y/n.”

you hate it when the guys treat you as if you’re a helpless little baby

you can make decisions on your own!!!!!

even if this was a bad decision it doesn’t matter because the point is yoU made this decision all by yourself and that’s something that’s super important to you

you don’t need to rely on anyone else!!!!!

with that being said

you’ve completely lost your appetite

you feel sick to your stomach

you can’t help but feel like you just made a fatAL mistake

the boys are acting like you signed a deal with the devil and you’re starting to believe you actually did

“how do you guys know so much about him anyway??”

“finish your lunch or else you’ll get cranky later-“ namjoon pushes your lunch box back towards you and raises a brow and you huff before digging out your sandwich

“i’m very good at eavesdropping.” jin points out “also, he’s usually at all the parties i’m at. aLso i hung out with him a couple times at those parties - he’s a friendly guy, don’t get me wrong, and i’m sure all it took to convince you to let him become your roommate was him looking at you with those chocolatey brown puppy dog eyes - but you, my friend… you’re fucked.”

“i am not fucked!”

“he’s friends with…” hobi trails off and drums his fingers against the table “what are their names again?”

“park jimin and jeon jungkook.” jin’s always been a walking encyclopaedia of campus gossip which is proving to be very useful at this time “they’re all basically the exact same person. sleeping around, causing trouble, being dickheads in general… one time i got hit in the back of my head with jungkook’s football and i didn’t even get a sorry-”

“you just said he was a friendly guy!!!” you don’t mean to interrupt jin in the middle of his fun little story but you just need to know what you signed yourself up for

“yeah, he’s friendly when he wants something from you, duh. he’s a dickhead the rest of the time.”

o god

taehyung definitely wanted something from u

he wanted the apartment from you

does this mean he’s going to become an asshole now??

what have you DONE

“…i’m sure it’ll be fine, though!” hobi smiles and pats your shoulder gently “…you gonna finish your sandwich or what?”

thursday rolls around muCh sooner than you would’ve liked

after your many, maNy conversations with jin (you sat him down and forced him to tell you eveRything that he’s ever heard about taehyung) you have come to the conclusion that kim taehyung is not who he presented himself to be and the next year of your life is going to be a living nightmare

he sleeps around a lot (which is totally fine with you like that’S not the thing you have a problem with) = loud sex is going to keep you up!!!!

he’s messy = you’re neat-ish!!!!

he’s a night owl = you’re a morning person-ish!!!!

he’s loud = you’re quiet-ish!!!!

he likes to throw parties = you hate parties!!!! you hAte the idea of having a group of strangers chilling out in your apartment getting their grubby straNGer hands all over your couch and your tv and youR food and youR juice boxes

“please don’t leave me.” you whimper and tighten your grip around namjoon’s arm before propping your chin up on his shoulder

most of namjoon’s stuff is already at his apartment but he came back to pick up one last box of his belongings but he feels like he should’ve just abandoned his sweaters

because you won’t let him leave and he needs to gO because he’s roasting a chicken in his oven!!!!!!  

“you’ll be fine, relax.”

“can’t you stay here til he comes?”

“my apartment’s going to burn down if i don’t leave now. look, i’m only a ten minute walk away, if you’re overwhelmed, you’re welcome to come and spend the night.”

you purse your lips in thought and wrinkle your nose

“maybe i should just move in with you-“

“absolutely noT you are not moving in with me-“ namjoon reaches over and thwacks your forehead so that you let go of his arm “good luck - i’ll text you later!”

damn it

so

taehyung swings by an hour and a bit later with a bright, boxy smile on his face ready to move on into namjoon’s room

you had to give yourself a mini pep talk before opening the door for him with a forced smile

you asked him if he needed any help bringing anything up but he insisted on taking care of everything himself because he didn’t want to be a bother to you which definitely surprised you

you also offered to help him unpack his boxes but he told you to take it easy and just watch some tv or something (“why don’t you watch one of those animal documentaries you like so much?”)

maybe jin was wrong about him!!

see

you shouldn’t believe rumours so quickly!!

you were silly to get all scared and panicky

you gave him a quick tour even though there’s not a lot to the apartment

his bedroom is next to yours

the bathroom is down the hallway

the kitchen is there

this is the living room

the laundry room is on the 10th floor and you keep a little baggie of quarters in the chest by the front door

“taehyung?” you knock on his door before poking your head into the room

he already has a couple posters up on the wall so it seems like he’s settling in pretty nicely

taehyung lets out a quiet breath and rolls his eyes when he hears your voice

you can’t go like 20 minutes without bugging him and he gets that you’re just trying to be friendly and helpful but like

you really need to relax

he’s in the middle of hanging some shirts up in his closet and he forces a smile onto his face before turns to look at you “hey! what’s up?”

“i have a little housewarming gift for you!” you pull a little potted plant out from behind your back before stepping into his room “it’s a baby peace lily!” you hold it up for him to look at “it was actually supposed to go to namjoon but i forgot that i already gave him a little cactus for his desk so… i thought maybe you’d like something to spruce up your room!”

taehyung looks at the tiny plant in your hands

oh

that’s kind of nice of you

it’s not that he doesn’t like you or anything because you do seem nice

you’re just on the opposite end of the spectrum compared to him in terms of personalities (and from what he can tell, social status)

which isN’t a big deal but

eh

he’s just not used to you

your smile falters for a second and you look over at him with wide eyes “noT that your room isn’t alreAdy spruced up but i just thought that maybe-“

“thank you very much, i love it already.” taehyung laughs lightly and walks over to you before plucking it out of your hands “i don’t have any gifts for you because i didn’t think i…” he sets the plant down on the window sill and brushes his fingers over the leaves before glancing at you “-needed to give you anything…”

he smiles sheepishly and scurries over to his bed for his backpack

he unzips it quickly and spills the contents of it out onto his bed

“oh god, don’t worry about it, you definitely didn’t have to get anything for me, i just-“

“ah! here we go.” taehyung grins as he pulls a brand new pack of gum out of the mounTain of loose papers and pens

he stands up before handing it to you with both hands and bowing a little “a fresh pack of gum for my wonderful new roommate. it’s my favourite flavour - strawberry!”

you laugh lightly and take it from him

yeah

you think you’re going to get along really well with kim taehyung

he’s not bad!!!

not bad at all

:~)

so

now that namjoon no longer lives here you’ve taken it upon yourself to become the ‘captain’ of the apartment

this basically means you’re in charge of eveRything because you feel like taehyung isn’t exactly the leader type

the thing is

every morning after you got up namjoon would already have the apartment cleaned up from the night before

the pillows would be fluffed and arranged neatly; the throw blanket folded up and sitting on the sofa chair

the blinds would be pulled up to let the sunlight in (and he usually opens the balcony doors just a crack to let some fresh air in)

the coffee table dusted and free of greasy fingerprints or watermarks

the coffee machine turned on and churning away

the plants out on the balcony are watered (he took the bonsai and left you the daisies)

the dishes on the drying rack put away from the night before

namjoon did a loT now that you think about it

you never really realised how much he did around this place until now

now that.,.,,. he’s not ur roommate anymore.,,..

:-(  

it still huRTS

you thought it would be easy to fall into your new schedule but you fell asleep on the couch in the middle of fluffing the pillows and you ended up taking a 20 minute snooze

you woke up when you rolled over and fell on the floor with a thuMp lol

you rub at your bleary eyes as you shuffle over to the blinds

it’s 7am so the sun is just starting to peek out and say hello

you let out a yawn as you pull the string and the blinds go up slowly

one thing that you’ll always love about living all the way up on the 21st floor is the beautiful view of the city skyline

you see all the highways intertwining with each other and all the tiny cars going here and there

and of course the view of the ocean!!

no wonder namjoon liked to get up so early

the peace and tranquillity of watching the city beginning to wake up is actually pretty pleasant  

you let out a happy sigh before pushing the one of the balcony door handles down and opening it just a little-

“what do you think you’re doing?”

“jEsus-“ you practically jump ten feet into the air when your new roommate makes himself known

you whip around and almost jump again when you realise that taehyung is literally riGht behind you

“how did you get here so quietly??” you mumble before shaking your head and moving to open the other set of blinds so that you can open the other balcony door

you yank the blinds up and taehyung groans and squints at the sudden onslaught of liGht

“when you do it like that it’s sO LOUd”

you clench your jar and turn to face him before putting a hand on your hip

“well, how else am i supposed to open it??”

taehyung shoves you aside and pulls the string again so that the blinds roll back down

he turns to give you a pointed look before sHOVING his hand right in between the shutters and pushing the handle down to open the door “like that.”

wha-

wHAT

WHAT KIND OF MONSTROSITY-

“but- buT then you bend the shutters and- sEE SEE look you dented it!!!!” you push him aside to at least tRy and bend the shutters back into place and scowl to yourself when you see the little dent even after you straightened it out

“so what? if you have to open the balcony doors every morning you should do it like that because a) you don’T have to open the blinds and hurt your eyes so early in the morning, and b) you won’t wake me up from all the ruckus!” taehyung states as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world

“i’ll take your suggestion into consideration next time, thank you” you smile through gritted teeth and follow him to the kitchen

taehyung opens up the fridge and pulls out the carton of apple juice

he unscrews the lid of the apple juice carton and you’re about to ask him if he knows where you put the cups but thEN he starts chuGGing out of it like an uncultured sWINE and you literally fEEL your heart stop

that is so nASTY

he lets out a satisfied ‘ah~’ before putting it back into the fridge

“anyways, now that i’m up,” he slams the fridge door shut and turns to face you with a bright smile “you gonna make breakfast for us or what? because i am starving!”

you know what

you think you’re getting used to sharing a washroom with taehyung

it’s actually not that bad besiDes the fact that he occasionally forgets to put the toilet seat back down but u know what it’s totally fine it’s not a big deal

all you’re saying is that joonie never forgot to put the toilet seat down because he’s very courteous and knows that in the morning when you’re half asleep you’re not going to remember to put the seat down-

“chRist-“ you gasp in shock when your ass basically falls riGHt into the toilet bowl and you reach out next to press a hand against the wall while the other grips at the countertop

you let out a groan and get up before quickly turning to put the seat down

but yes

as you were saying

it’s really not that bad sharing a washroom with taehyung

you flush the toilet before pushing the shower curtain aside to turn the tap on

you hum to yourself and pull your shirt off before tossing it into the hamper

you just have to get used to the fact that taehyung isn’t like namjoon

your brows furrow when you reach under the tap to check the temperature of the water

,.,.why is it still.,,. cold

it doesn’t take this long for the water to get hot

unless

you poke your tongue into your cheek when something crosses your mind

taehyung must’ve used up all the hot water

your grip on the edge of the bathtub tightens until your knuckles turn white

okay!

no problem!

a cold shower will certainly wake you up for sure!!!!  

and you remember namjoon mentioning something about how cold showers help with your metabolism or something like that so maybe you should be thanking taehyung for using up all the hot water like a selfish pRICK-  

“no problem, we’re all good…” you mutter to yourself and pull the little knob on top of the tap so that the water will go to the showerhead-

you yELP when you’re suddenly blasted with icy cold water and you immediately wrap your arms around yourself in a pathetic attempt to keep yourself warm

oh my goD

o-o-o-okay this is going to be the f-f-fastest shower you’ve ever taken in your e-e-entire life because you’re pretty sure that if you spend another f-f-five minutes in here you’re going to get h-h-hypothermia

you shiver as you pick up the bottle of shampoo and-

oh you are k-k-k-kiDDING

you don’t have any shampOO LEFT

you bought this two weeks ago!!!!! how the hell did you use it all up???????

you clench your jaw when it hits you onCe again

k i m

t a e h y u n g

this shampoo is expensive too!!! it’s goat milk shampoo and it makes your hair smell suPer good and feel silky soft  

no wonder he smelled oddly familiar the other night

you jump when you hear knocking on the bathroom door

you push the curtain aside aggressively “what????”

“i need to take a piss!!!! hurry it up in there!!”

you resist the urge to huRL the empty shampoo bottle at the door

anyone who knows you knows that sundays have always been your favourite day of the week

sunday is the perfect day to just relax and unwind from the whole week aND saturday

plus you and namjoon sometimes go to brunch on sunday so that’s another reason why you look forward to sundays so much

you don’t have any plans today which means you have all the time in the world to just chill out and-

“oh. my. god.” your jaw drops in pure shOCK when you walk into the kitchen

it looks like a tornado blew through the kitchen while you were sleeping  

wh-

hoW did this happen????

the kitchen was completely spotless yesterday!!!!!!

you know that because you literally spent like 2 hours cleaning the kitchen last night!!!!!!!!

you were on your hands and knEES scrubbing at the kitchen tiles until each one of them were smooth and polished!!!!

but now??

the garbage bin isn’t closed all the way because it’s literally overflowing with traSH and there’s a banana peel hanging out over the edge

there’s a whole mouNTAIN of dirty dishes and mugs in the sink

you just stepped on a sticky spot and you don’t even want to know what dried up there

and the fridg-

the-

the frIDGE ISN’T CLOSED

you feel a shiver tingle up your spine at the thought of all of your food going to waste because of a warm fridge

you immediately rush over and open the fridge door all the way to see if-

“oh nOnOnOnonoooOooo-“ you reach forward to press the back of your knuckles against the carton of milk and curse to yourself when you realise that it’s literally room temperature

you don’t know how long the fridge has been opened but you know that it’s probably not safe to eat whatever’s in there

everything in the fridge is spoilt as far as you’re concerned

even your overpriced honey-cinnamon greek yogurt that you literally bought two days ago

you’re going to have to dump everything out

what a waste of money!!!!!! now you have to go grocery shopping today and replenish all the food!!!!!!

you should wake tae up and ask him to chip in for the grocery fees

“i can’t get over how comfortable that mattress is…” you turn to look when a sleepy taehyung steps into the kitchen

“what the hell happened??” you exasperate as you grab another garbage bag from the cupboards and shake it open “when i went to bed last night the kitchen was spotless because i cleaned it but i come in this morning and it looks like someone hosted like thrEE frat parties in here all at once-“

“y/l/n, cchhiiiilllll.” taehyung yawns and stretches his limbs out before reaching up to rub at his eyes “i just brought all my dishes and my trash to the kitchen a couple hours after you went to bed, it’s not a big deal.”

oh

okay

well

he’s right

it’s not a big deal

as long as he takes out the trash and washes his own dishes it’s not a big deal

“this is… it’s a lot of trash and a lot of dirty dishes…” you mutter as you take a look around

“it’s only like five days worth of trash and dishes - it’s not that much.” taehyung nudges you aside so that he can look into the fridge “…where’s all the food?”

“in the garbage bag.” you step aside to gesture to the veRy full garbage bag behind you “the fridge was open when i came down and everything in there was warm so i’m throwing everything out.”

“you’re- oh my goD you’re literally wasting so much money right now-“

“most of the things in there were mine anyways so it’s not that big-“

“you threw out that honey-cinnamon yogurt?? i was almost done eating that!!!” taehyung frowns and shoots a glare in your direction

your eyelid twitches

so

he’s been helping himself to your organic vegan yogurt hUH

and he was ‘almost done eating’ it??

you bought it tWo days ago and it’s a huge thing of yogurt which means he must’ve really reALLY been helping himself to it

“hey, so when are you going to go grocery shopping?” tae closes the fridge before nudging you aside again to get to the sink

and at first you think he’s going to get a head start on those dirty dishes but theN-

you feel a wire inside of your brain short circuit almost immEdiately when taehyung uses a wet paper towel to wipe the rim of a dirty cup before turning your coffee machine on and placing the dirty cup under the nozzles

you remind yourself to never accept a cup of coffee from him

it’s totally not a big deal

some people have certain quirks that you’ll never understand but that certainly doesn’t mean that they’re not nice and that you can’t get along with them

“well… i wasn’t going to go until thursday but considering the fact that the fridge is literally empty i guess i’m going today-“

“great, because i have a list of things that i’m gonna need you to pick up for me.” taehyung sighs and plucks an apple out from the fruit bowl

you furrow your brows immediately

“well, you could always come with me-“

“nah, i’m not good at it.” he takes a giAnt bite of his apple

“…you’re not good at- how can you not be good at grocery shopping-?“

“wait, does this mean you threw out the creamer, too?? now i have to drink black coffee?? dude, groSS” taehyung whines and wrinkles his nose at the fresh cup of coffee he just brewed for himself

“…just give me your stupid list.”

if you had a dollar for every time taehyung irritated you, you would honestly be a billionaire at this point

not even a billionaire

you would be a triLLionaire

“would it kill you to do the dishes sometime?” you wipe your damp hands down on the back of your leggings as you step out of the kitchen and into the living room

taehyung is currently lazing on the couch helping himself to a bag of chips while scrolling through his phone

“you know what, it actually would.” taehyung glances up at you “i’m like super duper 100% deathly allergic to dish soap. frankly, i’m offended you even asked.” he pops a chip into his mouth

crunch crunch crunch

you clench your jaw in frustration

for a second you can’t help but wonder what it’d feel like to drive your fist right into the middle of that pretty little face

“ooookay, if you can’t do the dishes, then you can help me take out the trash.”

taehyung sighs and shakes his head “no can do, buddy. i’m also allergic to garbage bags.”

woW what a friCKin coincidence

“…you can do the laundry!” you clap your hands together before placing them on your hips

your foot starts to tap against the floor impatiently when taehyung bring a chip to his mouth slowly and bites it in half

a couple crumbs fall onto his chest and he brushes them onto the floor

he clears his throat  

“detergent falls into the same category as dish soap-“  

“you know what? forget i asked! forget it!” you lauGh and raise your hands in defence before walking away “i give uP! i frickin GIVE UP-“

taehyung jumps when he hears your bedroom door slam shut

he shrugs and pops another chip into his mouth

unsurprisingly

namjoon, jin, and hobi aLL think that you’re not getting along with taehyung

and even though that is a very true statement

unsurprisingly

your natural instinct is to prove them wrong

“we’re getting along just fine, thank you very much for your concern.” you adjust your backpack strap before shaking your head “he’s actually super great, contrary to your guys’ belief. he’s a wonderful roommate! i love taehyung!”

the way you’re speaking almost sounds like you’re trying to convince yourSelf that you love taehyung

and you’ve never really been good at persuading people

namjoon can’t help but roll his eyes

you’re already very stubborn and he haTes dealing with you when you get like this

he doesn’t understand why you can’t just admit that taehyung is a horrible roommate!!!!

“i mean, sure, he’s a little messy, but who isn’t? it’s totally not a big-“

“hey, check it out!” namjoon interrupts your little speech about how amazing taehyung is as a roommate to point over by the vending machines “why don’t you go and say hi to your super duper wonderful angel of a roommate?”

you swallow thickly when you follow namjoon’s line of sight

yep

that’s taehyung alright

you’d recognise that beanie anywhere

frick

it looks like he’s with a group of his friends

you see him pull a plastic baggie of quarters out of his backpack

hey look at that!

that’s nice of him

he’s treating his friends to some snacks

…

wait a second

you feel one of your veins buST open when it hits you

is that.,,.,. is that the lauNDRY MONEY

he’s using the laundry money to pay for snacks and drinks???!??!

“you know, i don’t know if that’s a good idea!” you clear your throat when you feel the boys slowly nudging you towards his direction

hobi literally has his hands pushing against your lower back while namjoon has his fingers wrapped around your wrist

“he looks like he’s in the middle of a very riveting conversation and i wouldn’t want to-“

“kim TAEHYUNG-“ hobi screeches before plopping down on the bench and gesturing for namjoon and seokjin to duck down as well

you panic and you’re about to sit down too but it’s too late

taehyung turns around to understandably find whoever it was who just screamed out his name in the middle of the cafeteria and immediately locks gazes with you

oh god

okay just say hi

“hi taehyung!” you smile brightly and wave at him a liTtle too enthusiastically

jin immediately grabs your hand and pulls it down because your wrist is going to pop off if you wave any harder

now

a normal person would wave back when they’re being waved to

unfortunately for you taehyung is not a normal person

taehyung raises a brow before snorting gently and turning back to his group of friends “as i was saying…“

your jaw drops slightly

what the hell was that

namjoon kisses his teeth and shakes his head

he’s about to hit you with the faTTest ‘I Told You So’ of all time

“it’s a fun little game we play.” you sit down quickly and smooth out your skirt

you can feel your cheeks growing red at the complete mortification of the situation

“you guys wouldn’t understand.” you clear your throat and laugh lightly “he’s so silly!”

namjoon frowns and turns to look at taehyung over his shoulder for a second

you are one of the moSt important people in his life and he hates that you’re being treated like shit

“you still think we believe you when you tell us that you like him?” he sighs while wiping his apple on his shirt

“…just eat your lunch.”

okay

you’re starting to think that you’re incapable of noT thinking about taehyung

you don’t get it!!!

maybe it’s because you have this innate need to be liked and when you realised that taehyung might noT like you that much your brain was like well,.,,. now i’m going to keep thinking about why he doesn’t like us.,,.,.

even when you’re asleep it sounds like your brain won’t stop repeating the words ‘oh my god, taehyung, oh my god, taehyung-‘

“oh my god, tae, fuck yes-“

oh my god

your eyes pop wide open and you stare into the darkness

…

…

…

okay

maybe you just imagined it

that was just your imagination and it definitely wasn’t-

“yes, right there, fuck me with your huge-“

OH

OH NO

oH IT’S NOT YOUR IMAGINATION

THiS IS REAL

“oh god, yes, i’m cumming, you’re gonna make me- ah!”

you feel your entire face burning up as you try to suppress your own screams by flipping over and shoving your face into your pillow

this is a nightmare

a niGHTMARE

also this is a schOOL night so they have no business getting it on when all of you have classes tomorrow

and just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse

you hear the headboard beginning to smack against the wall and- “oh my god, tae-!”

and you nearly start crying

“oh my god, tae...” you whimper to yourself and feel a shiver go up your spine

bLEugh

you yank the covers up over your head and curl up into a ball

you didn’t even know he snuck a girl home!!!!

how did he do that so quietly!!!!!!

when you wake up the next morning you’re not sure if the entire night was some sort of weird fever dream or not

you finally fell asleep at like three in the morning because thaT’s when the screaming and the bed-rocking died down

and then you woke up early because you’re pretty sure taehyung woke his pal up with his head in between her legs (“tae, your tongue feels so-!“)

she’s very communicative which is key in a relationship so hopefully things work out between the two of them!!1!!

you blink down at your bowl of cereal and watch as the now-soggy cheerios float around your spoon

you.,,. don’t have an appetite this morning which is very rare because you’re aLways in the mood to eat

“hi! you must be tae’s roommate!” your spoon clatters against the side of your porcelain bowl when taehyung’s lady friend pops out of nowhere

jesus chRist

she was quiEt

she’s dressed in what appears to be one of taehyung’s tattered t-shirts (the same one he was wearing when he left the apartment yesterday morning) and you allow yourself to stare at the hickies decorating her neck and collarbone as she reaches up to pull the shirt up slightly

you’re tempted to offer her a pair of shorts or something because homegirl’s ass is fully out right now (she’s wearing a g-string which is basically noTHING)

“this is the part where you introduce yourself, y/l/n.” taehyung pops up behind her and raises a brow at you

oh

riGht

you reach up to wipe away the milk that’s driBBling down your chin and you reach out to shake her hand “hi! yes, i’m the roommate… i’m y/n.”

“i’m soo-young, but you can call me joy if you’d like…” she’s a little preoccupied because she keeps looking over your shoulder at tae who’s currently drinking out of the orange juice carton like an animal

joy, huh?

very fitting considering she was screaming of joy last night anD this morning

“well, it’s very nice to meet you, joy.” you push yourself up off the counter before spinning around and promptly grabbing the carton from taehyung’s grubby hands “can i offer you anything? we have cereal, instant oatmeal, frozen waffles and bagels…” you hum and pull a cup from the cupboards before pouring a glass of juice for tae

side note

if you ever need to make a little money in the future maybe you can open up some kind of bed and breakfast thing

taehyung can take care of the bed part and you can do the breakfast part lol

anyways back to it

you hand the clean glass to him with a little glare and he smirks before accepting it and taking a small sip

“of course, i’ll toast the bagel for you… unless you eat frozen bagels?” you joke and put the orange juice back into the fridge before standing back up and leaning against the fridge door “we have cream cheese, oR i make this really good cinnamon butter that i’d be happy to share with you”

joy’s eyes widen before she looks over at taehyung

“uh, i… actually, i was thinking that tae and i could go out for breakfast or somet-“

“i’m gonna go take a shower.” taehyung chirps and hands you the empty glass before moving to head out of the kitchen

“maybe we can take a shower together! save some water?” joy offers shyly and grabs onto taehyung’s wrist

oh

bless her heart

his eyes flicker down to where she’s gripping him and he shakes her off gently “um, we’re trying to conserve hot water so… maybe you should wait til you get back to your place. by the way - would you mind tossing the shirt into the hamper after you change? thanks, sweetheart.” he clicks his tongue and gives her a heaRTy pat on the shoulder  

you mouth a quiet ‘yikes’ to yourself when taehyung leaves the kitchen and joy looks like a puppy who’s just been kicked in the face

her entire face is red and she looks like she’s about to start crying

oof

it’s not greAT of taehyung to brush her off like that but according to your knowledge taehyung is a one night stand kind of guy so.,.,,

you really hope she doesn’t start crying because you never know how to comfort people and ur not about to start now

you clear your throat as joy looks down at the shirt she’s wearing and picks at a loose thread on it  “…how about i smear extra cream cheese on your bagel for you?”  

“bye! thanks for putting the shirt in the hamper…” you offer joy a sheepish smile and watch as she steps into the elevator before you close the front door

so

she didn’t want the bagel even after you toasted it anD put extra cream cheese on it

she definitely wasn’t as joyful as she was when she first came out of tae’s room reeKing of sex

...okay it was funny the first two times but now ur just beating a dead horse

you were about to offer her some clothes for her taxi ride back home because if you were in this situation you would rather be dressed in a hoodie and leggings instead of a tight mini-dress and six inch platform heels at 9 in the morning buT uh

that would give her an excuse to come back and you get the feeling that taehyung doesn’t want her to come back

“taehyung?” you give the bathroom door a couple knocks before taking a step back “i toasted a bagel for joy but she didn’t seem to have an appetite so do you want to split it-“

the bathroom door swiNGs open and you flinch slightly at the onslaught of heat and steam that comes out from it

and then time seems to slow down

taehyung steps out of the washroom with a towel hanging loosely around his hips and a smaller one hanging around his neck

h-holy.,,., holy shIT

smooth, glistening caramel skin with the warm bathroom lights illuminated behind him like a halo

droplets of water practically cascading down the ridges of his broad chest and the faint ridges of his abs and woW that’s a v-line for suRE

you swallow dryly and look up to see taehyung staring right back at you with the coCkiest of smirks on his face

oH

“oh, god, i’m sorry-“ you immediately spin around so that you’re facing the other way and you feel your face starting to heat up  

“it’s all good.” taehyung chuckles lightly “what were you saying about a bagel?”

“i, uh, i was wondering if you wanted to split a bagel because-” you turn to look at him over your shoulder and your eyes widen when you realise he’s standing a loT closer to you as he dries his hair “-b-because joy didn’t seem to want it-“

“yeah, i’m down. lemme put some sweatpants on and i’ll join you in the kitchen.” taehyung puRPosely brushes past you and you catch a whiff of his musky aftershave

you feel your knees grow weak when you see his back muscles flex slightly as he walks down the hall to his bedroom

“head’s up!” he turns around quickly and tosses the smaller towel at you and luCkily your reflexes are fast enough to catch it before it hits your face

you shake yourself out of it quiCkly and pat your hot cheeks

“…wait, are you putting a shirt on too or are you just coming in sweatpants-“

tae’s white towel fLIes out from his room before the door slams shut

“so… joy seems like a nice girl.” you drum your fingers against the side of your mug before taking a sip of coffee (it’s coLD now but you’ll drink it anyways)

“mm.” taehyung murmurs and takes another monster bite of his bagel

“are you… planning to call her or text her or-“

“nah.”

“you shouldn’t have let her weAr your clothes if you’re not going to call her again-“

“she put it on herself and she already knew this was going to be a one time thing” taehyung glances up at you from his phone before giving you an expression that screams ‘duH’ “plus, it’s none of your business.”

you scoff at taehyung and raise a brow “it becomes my business when the vigorous and veRY loud sex happens in my apartment and i’m going to be the one the landlord contacts when we get noise complaints.”

“it’s our apartment”

“my name is on the lease. it’s mine. you’re renting from me.”

taehyung pokes his tongue into his cheek before setting his phone down harshly “what do you want from me, huh? it’s not my fault she was so loud. i can’t help that i’m so good with my-“

“i want you to keep things respectful because you are noT the only occupant of this apartment. keep your sexcapades at a decEnt volume! gag your next friend for all i care!! i was going to sleep in but i had to get up early because someone was moaning up a storm-”

“again, not my fault- it seems to me that someone needs to get laid because you’re waY too uptight and it’s obvious you’re kind of a prude-“

uM

“i am noT a-“ you let out a breath of frustration before shaking your head and turning around “you know what, i’m going to go and get ready to head out!” the mug nearly shatters from the sheer force of you setting it down in the sink

you should’ve said yes to bukjoon

you should’ve!!!!!!

you let out a sigh as you stare blankly out the window

where is bukjoon?

what’s he doing now?

you miss him

you just let him sliP through your fingers

:-(

sure, you would have to had face the fiery wrath of namjoon but the guy’s about as intimidating as a baby penguin so that wouldn’t have been too hard to deal with

speaking of namjoon

you’re looking forward to the lunch that namjoon packed for you today!!  

you managed to calm yourself down a little after your chat with taehyung this morning and now all you can think about is how greAt today is going to be

your outfit is cute

your hair isn’t frizzy

your makeup looks nice and deWy just the way you like it

and one of your lectures got cancelled today so you get to come home a little earlier!

anyways

a classic namjoon lunch (specifically personalised and created for (1) y/n y/ln) includes the following items:

1x smooth peanut butter and strawberry jelly sandwich with no crust

he avoids chunky peanut butter because he knows that you have sensitive gums aND you don’t want peanut bits all up in your teeth after you’re done eating

he used to shape them like hearts but one time you opened your lunch box (yes, namjoon even got you a tin lunch box) in front of hoseok and jin and they immediately started teasing you and asking you what other shapes mama namjoon could do

namjoon wasn’t the least bit embarrassed because he loVes preparing lunch for you but you were traumatised and from that moment on you requested that namjoon simply slice off the crusts and leave it at that

1x baggie of baby carrots and baby cucumbers

1x little pot of hummus

1x homemade chocolate chip cookie that’s always the size of your palm never bigger never smaller

1x carton of either banana/chocolate milk oR apple/orange/pineapple-strawberry juice

you take the box out of the fridge and-

your brows immediately furrow

why,.,.

why does the box feel so light

you give it a little shake

it certainly doesn’t sound like there’s little baggie of baby carrots and cucumbers waiting for you to devour them

your heart sinks to your stomach and your eyes actually begin to water when you open up the box to see that all that’s in there are a couple empty plastic baggies and some breadcrumbs

you swallow thickly

“hey, when are you doing the laundry?” taehyung pops into the kitchen and perks up when he sees you with the lunch box “oh, the bagel wasn’t enough for me and i noticed that the food in that box was the only other decent thing to eat. if i didn’t eat that i would’ve starved to death. by the way, there was a note in the lunch box and it seemed like it was for you but honestly… who’s to say?” taehyung tosses a crumpled up note at you and you catch it before uncrumpling it and-

‘i know you asked for no more heart shaped sandwiches but i bought a new cookie cutter and i just had to use it. see you later today! -joon’

oh

oH

this son of a biTCH

“also, who has the time to shape sandwich bread into-“

“what do you mean ‘who’s to say’???? this was obVIOUSly for me!!!!” you feel your eyes glazing over even moRe purely out of frustration with taehyung and his eyes widen “i’m the only other person who lives in this apartment and if this lunch box doesn’t belong to you then obviously it’s meant for mE you IDIOT”

“jesus, y/l/n, calm down! it’s just food!!” taehyung furrows his brows before scoffing “here, i’ll give you $20 for lunch.” he rummages through his pockets and pulls out a couple of bills

you look at the bills before looking at him and shaking your head

“you’re a dick.” you sniffle as you dump the plastic baggies into the recycling bin

“…what, do you need more lunch money? how much do you eat??”

“that is not the point!”

“okay, $30 for lunch! god, take all my money, why don’t you??”

as time goes on you begin to realise that kim taehyung is truly an asshole

there’s no better word to describe him than an asshole

he’s an inconsiderate, arrogant, uncaring, selfish, complete asshole of a man and you don’t know what you did to deserve this

you really don’t!

he doesn’t care about you at all

in fact

he treats you as if you were his personal maid or something

you’re always picking up after him and you’re always cleaning up his messes anD you’re always escorting his lady friends out of the door the morning after with a to-go cup of coffee and half a bagel

you don’t havE to do all these things for him but you do!!!

you say you’re only continuing to do all these things for taehyung because you’re a nice roommate but according to namjoon you’re a-

“pushover. a complete pushover!” namjoon pauses to glance at you over his shoulder as you trail behind him and his book cart

he hands you a book and you slide it into place

“i am not a pushover!!”

he turns around with a thiCk dictionary in his hands and starts flipping through it

you scoff and place a hand on your hip as you watch him slide his finger down the page

“what are you doin-“

“pushover: noun.” he clears his throat and adjusts his glasses “an opponent who is easy to defeat or a victim who is capable of no effective resistance. someone unable to resist an attraction or appeal; a sucker.”

alright

you see what he’s doing here

you raise a brow and snort “can you use it in a sentence?”  

namjoon claps the dictionary shut before sliding it into the shelf

he leans against the cart and crosses his arms before reaching up to stroke his chin in mock thought

“ah! i’ve got it.” he smiles sweetly at you “y/n is a pushover when it comes to taehyung, and she’ll do anything for him with a snap of his fingers-“

“alRight alright i get it-“

“synonyms for pushover include but are not limited to the following: doormat, weakling, wimp-“

“fine! fine, i’m a little bit of a pushover. it’s not that bad!”  

namjoon turns around and starts wheeling his cart down to the next shelf “a little bit of a pushover? oh, please. what are you doing after you help me out here?”

“going grocery shopping.”

“uh-huh. and what’s on the top of your grocery list? check the list on your phone.”

“i don’t see how this is going to help prove your theory that i’m a pushover-“

“just do it.”

you pull your phone out of your pocket and open your notes app before tapping on the grocery list

the first thing you typed was-

“…’peanut butter cups for taehyung’.” you mutter lowly and scratch the back of your neck

oof

“yep. not honey-cinnamon yogurt, not bagels, not cinnamon toast crunch - peanut butter cups for taehyung. i said it before, and i’ll say it again - you, my friend, are one bIG pushover.”

“pushover. i am not a pushover.” you mutter to yourself as the elevator starts taking you up to your floor

you hug the bag of groceries to your chest tighter to keep it from slipping

“i’m just being a nice person! just because i do things for him whenever he asks me to do things doesn’t mean i’m a pushover. if anything, i’m a… i’m a pullunder! i’m a biG OL pullunder!!!”

ding

you step out of the elevator and make your way down the hallway to the apartment

whatever

you’re not a pushover no matter what namjoon says!!

even though the first thing you looked for was taehyung’s peanut butter cups the moment you stepped into the grocery store does noT mean that you are a pushover  

“hey they didn’t have the peanut butter cups that you like so much but i got these- oH GOD SORRY” you squeak and slam the front door and immediately feel a chunk of your soul leave your body

because you fully just walked in on tae really REALLy getting it on with someone on the couch

how does this keep haPPENING

why does he have to have so much sex!!!!!!!

you fluffed the pillows so nicely this morning

you’re not particularly sure what to do now

are you allowed to go in

are you supposed to wait out here until they’re done

maybe you can go down to the lobby and just wait there

you should probably send tae a text and tell him to just let you know when he’s done

oR maybe you should go in there and tell them to go to the beDroom and finish up because you were really wanting to vacuum the living room today

you jump in surprise when the door swings open violently to reveal a very frustrated looking tae along with a very half-naked tae

he has your throw blanket wrapped loosely around his waist and your cheeks immediately flush

he’s an asshole but it would be inhumane of you to noT check out the faint outline of his six pack

“ever heard of knocking?!” he snarls at you and anY physical attraction to him at this moment immediately fizzles away

you gawk at him

“knock- i live here-!”

you’re about to pick up the grocery bag and shoVe past him to get into the apartment when suddenly he steps aside to let his guest out

“call me later?” she gets up on her tip-toes to give tae a kiss on the cheek and he hums in response

why.., does she look so familiar

your brows knit together as you diG through your brain

omg

what the

you immediately pale when it hits you

rose???????? sweet little rose??? from your history class????? the one with the colour-coded notes and the glittery pens????? sweet little rose from your history class the one with the colour-coded notes and the glittery pens bent over the arm of the couch while tae dRILLS-

“bye y/n! see you monday” rose smiles sweetly at you and muster a smile before stepping aside so that she can make her way to the elevators

you wait for the faint ding of the lifts before you open your mouth to speak but tae beats you to the chase

“i was going to get at least three more orgasms out of her but someone had to come home and ruin the fun” taehyung sighs as he turns to head back in the apartment

“well i’m sorry i live here” you grumble and bend down to pick up the groceries “and three orgasms sounds positively draining”

“of course you would say that, you prude” taehyung tosses the pillows back on the couch

you huff and resist the urge to drop the groceries just so you can kick his ass

“you wanna help me put the groceries in the fridge?” you grunt and kick the door shut behind you

“nah, you can handle it”

“..,.oh, okay! uh, as i was saying, i didn’t find the peanut butter cups that you like so much but i did find these-”

“leave them in my room. i’m gonna take a shower!” tae chirps and slams his bathroom door shut

he opens it up again and pokes his head through “by the way - i’m having a couple people over tonight so it’d be suuuuPer cool if you could like.,.., not be here when that happens.”

“what about if i just stay in my room-“

“thanks, roomie!”

slam

you let out a breath as you stare at the bathroom door before shaking your head disappointedly

how did you get stuck with a prick like that

what did you do in your past life to deserve this?????

you turn to inspect the dishevelled state of the couch

you are going to have to disinfect the entire couch

maybe burn it

maybe just buy a new couch???

you honestly don’t even know how one person can have so much sex with so many different people

you’re all for having a healthy sex life and you fully support someone having multiple sex partners if you’re that kind of person but this is ridiculous

you can’t help but wonder if tae’s had sex on every surface in the apartment

…that explains the handprints on the balcony doors  

“i hate him! he’s driving me crazy and i have to live with him for the next year.” you groan quietly and pinch the bridge of your nose

“so just drive hiM crazy right back”

“how am i supposed to do that?”

“what does he hate the most?”

you purse your lips in thought and make a face

“…not getting laid every weekend?”

namjoon pauses and gives a little shrug

“touché - but, no. he hates you the most. at least, it seems like he hates you the most.”

“gee, thanks-“

“i’m serious! from what i’ve heard - and what i’ve seen - you guys boTh despise each other, so just hang around him 24/7 and you’ll drive hiM equally as crazy!”

“aren’t you the one telling me not to fight fire with fire whenever i get into sticky situations?”

“this is a special situation.” namjoon clears his throat and adjusts his glasses “didn’t you say he was throwing a party?”

“he’s not throwing a party, he’s just hanging out with his friends and they’re all chilling at the apartment. that’s why i’m hanging out with you at the library instead of being in the comfort of my own apartment.” you snort

“oh my god, you dumbass. ‘having a few people over’ almost always translates to ‘i’m throwing a party’. even i know that!” namjoon scowls and reaches over to flick your forehead

you scowl and reach up to rub at the sore spot “taehyung wouldn’t throw a party without consulting me about it first” you huff stubbornly and lean back against the wheely chair

“wow. the midterm exams really made your brain cells disintegrate, didn’t they? you don’t think there’s an inkling of a chance that as you’re sitting here with me, kim taehyung isn’t taking advantage of the fact that he has a very spacey apartment all to himself?”

“you know what, namjoon? i really don’t think so. i think you’re just making an assumption based off perceptions of-“

“there might be people bumping uglies on your bed right now.”  

you immediately pale

“…yeah, so i’ll see you later!” you squeak and bend down to grab your bag

“yep, that’s what i thought.” namjoon snorts and watches as you make a mad dash out of the doors

taehyung is typically a very carefree guy when it comes to throwing parties

he kind of just goes with the flow and doesn’t let anyone harsh his mellow

he doesn’t care if people have sex in his room as long as they keep it clean and fasT and they don’t do it on his bed

he doesn’t care if the cops come and tell him to keep the noise levels down because he knows he has the ability to charm his way out of a charge

but one thing that he definitely cares about?

there’s no way in hell he’s going to let you ruin his party

so imagine his surprise when he walks out from the kitchen to see you asking people to ‘please use the coasters that i’ve provided for you!’

“what the hell are you doing here???” taehyung hisses and grabs you by the arm before pulling you out of the apartment and into the hallway

“what does it look like i’m doing? i’m joining the party!” you grin before pointing to the door “it seems like everyone’s having fun in there!! also, it looks like there are at least twenty people in our apartment and i only have enough juice boxes in the fridge for like six people, which is unfortunate. anyways-“ you’re about to step into the apartment but taehyung reaches out and wraps his fingers around your wrist to hold you back

“you have to leave. i thought you were hanging out with..,,. what’s his name.,., four-eyes tonight?”

“who? namjoon?”

“yeah, four-eyes.”

“namjoon was busy tonight and i didn’t have any work to do so i figured i’d stop by at the obvious party that’s happening in my apartment. what happened to ‘having a couple of friends over’?”

“our apartment.” taehyung corrects you and pulls you back again when you make a move to walk in again

“debatable statement.”

“look, just go and hang out with your friends, alright?” he exasperates “come back in a couple of hours.”

“no!” you frown and let out a huff

“get ouT of here!” he points towards the elevators

“no!!! do you not want me here? is that it??”

taehyung clamps his mouth shut before pursing his lips

you immediately gawk at him

why doesn’t he want you at his party??? you’re not thAt lame

you’re super fun at parties!!!

sure your dance moves aren’t that impressive but you can get jiggy widdit once you get a couple drinks in your system

“why not!!! that’s totally unfair!!!”

you’re aware that you’re acting like a petulant child right now but it’s not fAIR that taehyung doesn’t want you at his party with his friends

you don’t care if he’s ashamed of you even though that’s what it feels like and you can’t help but feel sliGhtly offended

you just want to make sure nobody breaks anything or sets anything on fire

anD you want to make sure that, as namjoon so delicately put it, nobody’s bumping uglies on your bed  

“fine!” taehyung grumbles and gestures towards the door

it seems like you’re not going to take no for an answer so he’ll just have to deal with you staying at the party “you wanna hang out at my party? be my guest. but don’t come running to me like a scared little deer when you realise that you don’t fit in when it comes to these social situations.”

“oh, please.” you snort and push the door open

almost immediately you feel the bass from the music pumping through your veins “i’m going to fit right in with your gang of- hEY feET oFF the coffee table-!“

taehyung lets out a breath and sends out a quick prayer hoPing you won’t be the cause of the death of his party and his social life in general

so

you’ve been to a couple of house parties before with namjoon and hobi and jin

usually you just hang out in the corner of the room with some unidentifiable drink in your hand while you scroll through your phone while hobi and jin are debating over something dumb like ‘do pigeons truly have feelings?’

this is a brand new situation for you

you’ve never been alone at a party

you’re almost always glued to namjoon’s side and you just have to give him a tug on the wrist to let him know you’re ready to get the heCk out of here

and as much as you want to leave you can’T because you made a big deal out of taehyung not wanting you at the party so if you leave now it’s just not going to look good for you

and you don’t know why but it feels like the number of people have increased tenfold because it feels like you’re in a can of sardines right now

of course

you want to prove to taehyung that you can be super cool so you’ve tried to be a little more lax with everyone

but that hasn’t stopped you from scolding somebody who was very happily helping them-self to the peanut butter chocolate ice cream in the freezer

also

you don’t know how you slipped into a party straight out of those cheesy high school movies but here u are

playing seven minutes in heaven

to say the least

you’re.,,. uncomfortable

you didn’t even play this game in high school for crying out loud

also it’s not the 70s anymore why would anyone still be interested in playing seven minutes in heaven

you inspect your nails uninterestedly as taehyung digs his hand through the bowl of names

he had everyone write their names down and put them in the bowl and he foRced you to come play because when he found you you were lecturing somebody on the consequences of mixing alcohol and weed (“do you know how quickly you can become dehydrated with this combination???”)

taehyung feels a sense of relief when he pulls out the slip of paper with your name scribbled down on it

thank god

if he can’t get rid of you for the whole night at least he can get rid of you for seven minutes

“y/n! you’re up.” he smiles brightly when he sees the sheer look of panic wash over your face

good >:-)

taehyung falters when he unfolds the next slip of paper to see that it’s,.,.,. his name that’s scribbled on it

ew!!!!

he doesn’t want to play seven minutes in heaven with u

no offence

“hey, look at that! jungkook, you’re y/n’s partner!” taehyung cheers and shoves the slip of paper back into the bowl

jungkook nods before getting up off the ground and you immediately curse to yourself

it’s not that you don’t want to be paired up with jungkook

it’s just that he’s so intimidatingly preTTy and you get very nervous around pretty people

first impressions are important and you get the feeling that you’re going to find a way to make a fool out of yourself as per usuAL

you don’t know the guy at all

you’ve seen him a couple times around campus throwing a frisbee around with his pals

one time you saw him in line at starbucks but other than that

absolutely nothing

of course you don’t have any time to panic and ask if it’s too late to back out because the next thing you know the two of you get ushered towards the front door before getting shoved riGht into the closet

it looks like taehyung cleaned out the closet specifically for this game

you’ll have to ask him later where he shoved everything

you clear your throat and look up at the flickering light in the closet before looking over at jungkook who is aLso avoiding your gaze

“i’m y/n, by the way.”

wait

taehyung already told him that

oof

this is already going downhill and it’s barely been ten seconds

“i’m jungkook.” he smiles politely and sticks his hand out awkwardly for you to shake

it’s awfully cozy in here

he’s about the length of your elbow to the tip of your middle finger away from you which seemS like an appropriate distance away but when ur shoved into a tiny closet it’s very, very close

“you’re taehyung’s roommate, right?”

“yep! and you’re taehyung’s… friend?”

“eh, i guess so. we’re just part of the same fraternity but i don’t actually know him too well.” jungkook shrugs “we lived together last year but i kinda kept to myself.”

“oh yeah! i remember him mentioning something about living with like four other guys…”

“it gets messy” he laughs lightly “do you get along with him?”

“well, we have our good days, i suppose. he uses my shampoo-“

“no way, he used to use my shampoo too!!!!”

you immediately snort and roll your eyes playfully “i just don’t get why he can’t go out and get his own damn bottle!”

“exactly!!!!!” jungkook gasps in exciTement because he’s finally being given a chance to rant about taehyung

he accidentally raMs his elbow into the wall and lets out a groan before crumpling over

oh oUCH

“are you okay????” you immediately burst into giggles and reach over to give the top of his head a gentle pat

“whyYyYY are you laughing at me??” he whines and rubs at his sore elbow

it’s weird

you thought jungkook was just a carbon copy of taehyung

and for the first time ever

you’re pretty happy that you were mistaken

seven minutes goes by fAr too quickly for your liking because the next thing you know taehyung’s banging on the closet door and telling you guys to ‘get your asses out here’

“i’m sorry about... you know, not actually following the rules of seven minutes in heaven” you smile sheepishly and scratch the back of your neck

“technically, the players get to spent seven minutes doing whatever they want with each other and i just wanted to get to know you a little better, so i think we played the game right.” jungkook teases lightly

he reaches out for the doorknob but pauses and turns to look at you again “by the way, i… would you maybe want to hang out sometime? grab some coffee or something?”

your brows raise in surprise

oh

your cheeks warm immediately and you let out a soft chuckle “i, uh, yeah! i would love to grab some coffee with you sometime. maybe after we get out of this closet i can give you my number?”

jungkook beams at you and nods happily “yeah, that’d be-“

all of a sudden the closet door swings open and you instinctively take a step away from jungkook when you see taehyung standing there looking less than happy

“the game is called seven minutes in heaven, not teN minutes in heaven.” he steps aside to let the two of you out and you can’t help but roll your eyes

for someone who accused you of being a buzzkill muLtiple times he’s certainly doing a good job at being one right now

taehyung can’t help but narrow his eyes a little when he notices you and jungkook exchanging shy glances as you guys sit back down in the circle

...hm

“i’m baaaack!” your keys jingle as you shove them back into your backpack

you’re genuinely surprised that you didn’t walk in on tae fucking the lights out of someone on the couch

you were expecting to see a pair of someone’s boobs or a flash of his dick but it’s a pleasant feeling to be able to walk into your own apartment and not want to completely bleach your eyeballs

“you would not believe how packed the bus was because it’s tuesday and you wouldn’t think that the bus would be super jammed on a tuesday night but obviously-“

“i’m going to need you to shut up before i throw my books at you” taehyung raises his pencil in your direction but keeps his eyes glued on his laptop

he’s sitting crosslegged on the ground and he’s surrounded by loose papers and open books

his laptop is on the coffee table and it looks like he had a whole bag of m&ms for dinner which cannOT be good for you

he has the tv turned on but the volume’s really low

“wow, alright mr. grumpy…” you raise your hands in defence before bending down to untie your laces “what are you doing?”

“none of your business.” taehyung mutters in response and lets out a huff of frustration

side note

you’ve never seen him wear these rectangular framed glasses before

his hair is frizzy and slightly damp from a shower most likely

he’s in a white and blue stripey pyjama set

you’ve never seen him look so.,,.., dare you say it,.,,.. so boyfriend material-y before

so warm n snuggly n cozy

it really sucks

the fact that he looks like that and then once he opens his mouth all the attraction just fadEs away in a millisecond

god really has it out for you doesn’t He

“fine, sorry i asked…” you can’t help but feel a little dejected every time taehyung shuts you down like that

you’re just being a nice person!!

taehyung falters and pokes his tongue into his cheek when he glances at you and sees you hanging your jacket up on the coat rack quietly

ur just minding your own business

,.,.ok he feels a little bad for being rude to u all the time

he doesn’t know why he’s so mean to you

you guys have been roommates for a couple of months already and every time he’s mean to you you never fight back

in fact you usually just flash him a smile and then wander off and leave him alone

“i’m just…” taehyung sighs and leans back against the bottom of the couch “i’m taking this dumb art history class and i have a presentation in a couple of days that’s worth 25% of my final grade that i haven’t worked on yet.”

you narrow your eyes at him “that… i can’t feel bad for you because you did that to yourself. you should’ve started earlier!”

jesuS

okay now he knows why he’s so mean to you all the time

it’s because you’re a bratty little know-it-all

taehyung shoots a glare in your direction and you shrug

well it’s truE

“would it kill you to stop being such a smartass all the time? you always think that you’re right and that everyone else is wrong-”

“because most of the time i am right and everyone else is wrong.”

“jesus- you know what, whatever. just leave me alone, y/l/n.” taehyung grumbles and brings his attention back to his laptop

“what are you doing?” taehyung furrows his brows in confusion when you suddenly plop yourself down across from him and pull your laptop out of your backpack

“i’m going to help you, that’s what i’m doing.”

“do you even know anything about mesopotamian art?”

“nope” you pop the ‘p’ before raising a brow “but i’m going to research the heCk out of it and we’re going to make a bombass presentation and you, good sir, are going to ace it.”

“i don’t get it. why are you helping me?” taehyung narrows his eyes at you and you give him a warm smile in response

“because this is me being nice. don’t question it. now share your google presentation with me!”

believe it or not

you actually think that making presentations are pretty fun

you get to choose the pretty fonts and the colourful backgrounds and if you’re really wanting to spice things up you can always add in those funky transitions

of course taehyung has a certain minimalistic aesthetic to his slides so it probably wouldn’t be a good idea to infect it with your multicoloured block letters

the two of you have been working for about an hour and a half and you have to say it’s been a pretty productive hour and a half

taehyung said that his presentation has to be 10 minutes long which really isn’t thaT long if you think about it but the difficult part about it is that you have to jam as mUch relevant information as possible into it

thankfully he already did some research so you guys didn’t have to start completely from scratch

of course you chipped in and did some research on your own as well that you thought would contribute greatly to the overall quality of his presentation

but picking and choosing what to cut out and what to put in is surprisingly taking a lot more time than you thought it would

it’s been relatively silent

all that can be heard is the tv is playing softly in the background along with your guys’ fingers on tapping away at the keyboard and the occasional flip of a page or scribble of a pencil

your eyes flicker over to taehyung over the top of your laptop

he has his necklace trapped in between his teeth as his fingers fly across the keyboard

there’s a divot in between his brows and for a brief second you can’t help but think that his concentrating face is actually pretty cute

wait wat

u didn’t say that

taehyung glances up at you and you quickly look back down at your laptop screen

a soft smile twitches at the corner of his mouth

you’re cute when you’re not running your mouth and constantly telling him what to do  

you took a quick break earlier to change out of your clothes so now you’re in a pair of shorts and a comfy looking sweatshirt

also you had to pull out your reading glasses because it felt like your contacts were starting to dry out anD your eyes were starting to get fuzzy from staring at the screen for so long

and taehyung didn’t think he had a thing for girls with glasses but.,,.,. he might have a thing for girls with glasses

wait wat

he didn’t say that

you’re chewing on the back of your pen as you scroll through an article when all of a sudden your tummy lets out a little grumble

it makes sense considering the fact you haven’t eaten in like nine hours

“i’m going to order some takeout for us because a bag of m&ms does not equate a proper meal” you get up off the ground and stretch your sore limbs out before heading towards the kitchen

taehyung glances up at you briefly (your butt looks cute in those shorts) before shaking his head “nah, i’m good. you can go ahead and order-“

“orange chicken, broccoli beef and vegetable chow mein without celery and with extra bell peppers, right?” you poke your head out from the kitchen with your phone sandwiched in between your ear and your shoulder

“wha- um, yeah. how did you know-“

“great! also, could i get an extra order of egg rolls-“

huh

you know his order by heart which is funny because he happens to know that your usual order is sweet and sour pork, honey-walnut shrimp, and fried rice with extra green onions

wait what

taehyung brows knit together in confusion

how’d he know that

what the heCk

from: jungkook - ok what about this one: if i could rearrange the alphabet i’d put ‘u’ and ‘i’ together

to: jungkook - bOo i give that one 2/10 points

from: jungkook - your standards are too high, woman!!!!!! what are u doing now?

to: jungkook - eating dinner. guess what’s on the menu?

from: jungkook - what’s on the menu

to: jungkook - me-n-u

from: jungkook - omg ur so lame u literally just stoLE my pickup line i’m giving you -2/10 points

you giggle softly as you type in your response

you and jungkook have been texting back and forth since taehyung’s party a couple of weeks ago

he’s super sweet anD super funny and he just has that boyish charm about him that makes you squeAL if you think about it for too long

all you know is that ur kinda sorta maybe wrapped around his pinky and you’ve only gone out for coffee with him once

he pulled your chair out for you!!! you guys split a slice of carrot cake!!! he even feD you a bite!!!! and after coffee you guys just wandered around campus and it was just super nice talking to him!!! he draped his jacket around your shoulders to keep you warm!!! you like him a lot and he makes your heart go boom-boom!!!

“hey - for one of your pieces of shrimp, i bet you that i can catapult one of my pieces of chicken right into your mouth.” you look up from your phone to see taehyung grinning at you

he wiggles his brows and you look down at your little dish of shrimp

you guys are taking a dinner break and you thought the entire dinner would go by with nO words being exchanged between you two but this is a good sign because taehyung initiated a conversation

you should take advantage of this!!! this is your winDow of oppoRtunity!!!!!

you set your phone down and raise a brow “you drive a hard bargain, kim.” you sit back a little and open your mouth expectantly and tae rubs his hands together excitedly  

he places a piece of chicken on the spoon and clears his throat

and…

he pokes his tongue out in concentration and flicks his wrist forward quickly

your eyes widen in excitement when it actually lands in your mouth and you make sure to chew and swallow before sticking your arms up in the air in viCtory “it worKed!!!!! i guess that means you get one of my shrimps - which i will aLso be catapulting into your mouth”

you place the overly saucy piece of shrimp on your spoon before quickly flicking it anD-

“oh shiT” you laugh when it hits tae’s forehead before plopping down onto the table

“you did that on purpose!” he groans playfully and reaches up to wipe the sauce off his forehead with a napkin

“i did not!!! i just have terrible aim!!!”

taehyung pops the shrimp into his mouth and hums happily

this is definitely a muCh better dinner than a bag of m&ms

“aw, they only gave us one fortune cookie!” you push your bottom lip out in a pout as you rummage through the plastic bag in hopes of finding another fortune cookie “it looks like we’re going to have to split this one…”

you unwrap the cookie before holding it out for tae

he grips the other side and-

snap

the fortune is stuck in taehyung’s portion of the cookie and his eyes lighT up in excitement

“it’s probably going to say something stupid like how you have to look inside yourself to find the true meaning of life” he snorts and pulls the slip of paper out

“either that or something like ‘you’re going to die in 24 hours’” you raise a brow and inspect your half of the cookie before popping it into your mouth

oW

that cut into your gums a little bit

:-(

tae unfolds it and gives it a quick read

‘☺ the love of your life is right in front of your eyes ☺’

his dark brows knit together once he reads it and his eyes slowly trail up from the slip of paper to right across from him to where you’re sitting

oh boy

“well?” you swallow your bite and reach up to wipe your mouth with the back of your hand “what does it say?”

tae doesn’t know why he’s nervous to tell you what it says

his eyes widen in panic when you reach out to take it from him and he quickly smacks your hand away

“ow!!!!” you scowl and cradle your hand “what was that for??”

“it’s my fortune!! if you read it… it won’t come true!!”

“that’s literally not how it works-“

“dinner break is over! let’s get back to work” tae tucks the fortune into his breast pocket before popping the cookie into his mouth and dusting his hands off

“fine, you weirdo.” you roll your eyes playfully as you start cleaning up the empty takeout boxes

‘the love of your life is right in front of your eyes’

he watches as you hum to yourself and tie the straps of the flimsy plastic bag together before getting up to toss it away

tae snorts quietly and shakes his head

love of my life my aSS

it’s not a big deal

fortune cookies are stupid anyways

“-and with that being said, it is clear that the geographic division of the area is reflected in the history of its cultural development from the earliest civilisations.” you mouth the words along with tae as he finishes up his presentation

you immediately start applauding after his concluding statement and tae smiles brightly

“yes!!!!! that was so good!!!” you laugh lightly when tae bows and blows kisses into the audience (aka just you)

you let out a yawn before reaching up to rub at your bleary eyes “now that we’re done with your presentation we should probably get some shut-eye.” you let out anoTher yawn as you check the time on your laptop

jeez louiSe

it’s 5:14am

the two of you have to get up at 8 and you’re definitely not looking forward to that

“goodnight, tae!” you turn to glance at tae over your shoulder as you step out of the washroom

the two of you decided to do your nighttime routine together just to save some time

you pause when you get to your bedroom and furrow your brows “or… good morning? good-might? goodnighting?”

“you’re delirious. go to bed.” tae snorts and waves you off as he turns off the bathroom light “thanks again, y/n”

“anytime, tae”

your door closes and the light flickers off

taehyung stares at your bedroom door for a couple for seconds

“you’re not so bad, y/l/n.” he mutters to himself with a smile before walking into his bedroom and closing the door “you’re not bad at all.”

oooOOh boy

you’ve never felt so drained in your entire life

you let out a yawn as you make your way to the kitchen before rubbing at your sore jaw with a scowl

that was a big yawn and you were [this] close to getting lockjaw

you hit your snooze button a couple of times this morning  

you’re exhAusted from staying up all night helping tae with his presentation but you need to get some food in your system before you head out for the day

your nose twitches when you smell,,…,. burning.,.,,. why,,.., why do you smell burning.,,..,

your heart immediately starts to race as you quicken your pace

did you leave something in the oven last night??

impossible

you didn’t usE the oven last night

maybe taehyung left something on???

jEsus of course he left something on

he’s going to set this place on fire and-

“hey, i was wondering when you were going to get up! you’re usually halfway through a bowl of cereal by this time.”

needless to say

you are nothing short of shOCKed when you see tae with a tea towel slung over his shoulder padding around the kitchen as if this was a normal thing for him

what is going on

he pulls a stool out for you and nudges you over so that you take a seat

oh god

is this what a stroke feels like?

are you.,., literally having a stroke right now?

“sorry about the burning smell. i guess the crumbs in the toaster were starting to clog up the thing so when i popped your bagel into it and turned it on all the crumbs starting getting burnt… but your bagel made it out alive!” taehyung smiles and sets your bagel down in front of you

one side is smeared with cream cheese and the other is smeared with your homemade cinnamon butter

just the way you like it

huh

“coffee?”

“what?” you blink owlishly at taehyung and he raises the coffee pot in his hand

“…coffee? one cream two sugars, right?”

“right, yeah. uh, yes please. thank you.” you smile meekly and taehyung nods before pouring some coffee into your mug

you lean over a little to glance at the sink

all the dishes are drying on the drying rack

there are no dirty dishes in the sink

the counters are spotless and polished

and you’re pretty sure you can smell some floral air freshener in here

what

is

going

ON

“here you go-“ taehyung hands you your mug before pointing to the fridge “also, i, um, packed lunch for you today-“

oH

you figured it out

you know why he’s being so nice to you

you’re a genius!!!!

“-to make up for that one time i ate it and you almost cried over it-“

“what did you break?” you interrupt taehyung and he raises a brow at your accusatory tone

“what are you talking about?”

“what… did you break? did you damage something? is that why you’re being so nice? so that later on when you tell me you like kicked a hole through your wall or something i won’t be able to get mad at you because you made breakfast for me anD packed lunch for me…”

“i didn’t break anything, y/n. calm down.” taehyung snorts and shakes his head as he takes a bite of his own bagel

he swallows his bite

“i just wanted to say thank you for helping me yesterday.” he shrugs and walks over to take a seat on the stool next to you

you swiVel around so that you can face him

taehyung does the same

since you two are sitting so close together that means his knee is sandwiched in between yours

“you wanted to thank me… that’s it?”

“mhm”

“there’s no ulterior motive?”

he purses his lips and shakes his head “not that i can think of.”

“…so you’re not going to throw some sneaky party or anything-“

“y/n, this is me trying to be nice. don’t question it.” taehyung reaches over to pinch your cheek before giving your knee a gentle pat “now, c’mon! eat up!”

tae knew that the presentation was coming up soon

but now that he’s literally about to present it he feels like time went by waY too quickly

he doesn’t know if he’s been so nervous in his entire life

he knows it’s just a 10 minute presentation but he hates, absolutely dreAds giving presentations

especially solo presentations!!! in front of like 200+ people!!!!!

goD

he needs to stress-chew on some gum

nothing like good ol strawberry flavoured gum to calm his nerves

he unzips his backpack and shoves his arm into it

his brows knit together in confusion when his fingers brush over a foreign object in his backpack

he pulls out what appears to be a little stack of flashcards held together with a ribbon

there’s a little sticky note on the top of the stack and tae flips it upside right to read it

tae: these might come in handy! good luck today - i know you can do it. - y/n ☺

oh

you made presentation flashcards for him

when did you even put these in his bag?

when did you find time to make these for him??

taehyung pulls the ribbon off and flicks through the flashcards briefly

wow

you wrote down every single one of the important points down on the cards

you really did that for him

wow

“kim taehyung?”

taehyung swallows thickly when he hears his name being called

he clears his throat after making his way to the front of the room

his lips pull up into a friendly smile and he stares into the ocean of people “today, i’m going to be talking about the history of mesopotamian art in relation to its cultural development…”

it’s weird

the one thing calming him down isn’t the strawberry gum

it’s the thought of you

so

the presentation is actually going fairly well

tae nearly dropped his flashcards at one point but thank god he didn’t because that would have been a nightmare to have to reorganise

but yes

so far so good

he’s actually about to wrap up the presentation which is giving him a great sense of relief because he’s pretty sure he’s going to have a nervous breakdown if he stands up here for any longer than 10 minutes

“-and with that being said-“ taehyung freezes when he suddenly sees you sitting all the way in the back of the lecture hall

what the heck

what are you doing here?

he haTes that he feels his heart skip a beat when you give him a little wave and a thumbs up

he clears his throat and offers the prof a sheepish smile before continuing on and tapping his spacebar to get to the final slide “-uh, it is clear that the geographic division of the area is reflected in the history of its cultural development from the earliest civilisations. thank you.”

he lets out a breath of relief when the audience breaks into scattered applause

and unsurprisingly you stand up and bounce up and down excitedly aND clap the moSt enthusiastically before giving a little ‘woohoo!!!!!’

god

you are such a dork

…he loves it

the first thing taehyung sees when he leaves the lecture hall is your smiling face

he’s about to ask you what the heCk you’re doing here but he doesn’t get a chance to because-

“hey, you! you did so well!!!!�� you squeal excitedly and pull tae down for a quick congratulatory hug

his eyes widen in surprise but he finds himself hugging you back almost instinctively

he wraps an arm around your waist tightly and can’t help but wonder why his first instinct isn’T to shove you away and tell you to cut it out

“i… literally couldn’t have done it without you but- what are you even doing here? don’t you have class right now?”

“i would not miss your mesopotamian art history presentation for the world, my friend. of course i had to come and support you!” you give his arm a playful punch before checking the time on your watch “i actually have… three minutes to get to my next class so i have to go but i’ll see you at home?”

“yeah, yeah. i’ll… see you at home.”

taehyung smiles softly when he sees your backpack bouncing up and down from your frantic movements as you scurry towards the exit

that was really nice of you actually

you didn’t have to come and watch him do his presentation but you did

yeah

that was very nice of you

he blinks twice

son of a bitch

it’s not.,.. possible

taehyung stares blankly ahead before furrowing his brows and reaching up to scratch the back of his neck

there’s no way he’s harbouring feelings for you

gross!!!!!!

you’re y/n!!!!

you’re his dorKy ass roommate who he would never hang out with if it weren’t for the fact that you guys lived together

you’re y/n

you’re y/n who snorts when you laugh too hard at one of his jokes

you’re y/n whose idea of fun is watching a nature documentary about dolphins or sitting on the couch doing crossword puzzles

you’re y/n who’s always asking him if he wants a snack or one of your juice boxes or if he needs any help with his work

you’re y/n who uses a wooden spoon as a guitar as you bounce around the kitchen jamming out suPer hard while making dinner (he’s never going to let you live that one down)

you’re y/n who stayed up til 5 in the morning helping him with his presentation even thought you literally didn’t need to do that

you’re y/n and taehyung is 99.9% sure that he likes you much more than a roommate or a friend should

he swallows thickly

o god

he likes you

“…seriously?!” taehyung groans loudly and smiles sheepishly when the people around him give him weird looks

oops

and so

as seconds turn into minutes and minutes turn into hours and hours turn into days and days turn into weeks

you find that you become a lot closer to tae than you thought was possible

it turns out that when he’s not being a complete dick he’s actually a very sweet and caring guy

he always holds the door open for you when you guys come home together (his classes end earlier than yours so he just waits til you get off class so you guys can catch the bus together)

he’s always offering to make you a cup of coffee or a little fruit salad whenever you’re busy studying because he knows you get peckish when you’re working hard

not to mention

you can’t remember the last time you had to toast an extra bagel for one of his special friends

you can’t remember the last time you nagged him to take the trash out or wash the dishes or do the laundry

you can’t remember the last time he did something that irritated the heck out of you

most of the things that he does nowadays make you smile and laugh and just feel all waRm and cozy inside

see?

it just took a little bit of time but you knew that eventuaLLy you guys would get along

you truly are living your best life

taehyung doesn’t know how you managed to convince him to watch another one of your dumb nature documentaries (it miGht have something to do with the fact that he definitely has a super big crush on you) but to be honest it’s really not as boring as he thought it would be

“wait, i don’t get it.” tae shakes his head before glancing at you for a brief second “seahorses are monogamous? are there seahorse weddings?? can seahorses get married????”  

“mm, yeah” you hum absentmindedly before popping a kernel of popcorn into your mouth

“for real???”

you reach over to pat tae’s hand gently as a gentle reminder to shut the fuck up or i’ll cut u and it looks like you’re waY too wrapped up in the nature doc because you don’t pull your hand away

“seahorses mate for life, and when they travel, they hold each others’ tails…” tae’s eyes flicker down to your hand resting on top of his and he lets out a little sigh

he kind of wants to ʰᵒˡᵈ ʸᵒᵘʳ ʰᵃⁿᵈ

he turns to look at you again and feels his heart skip a beat

you’re not even doing anything but you’re still so cute

he honestly doesn’t know what he’s going to do because this is truly the first time he’s ever felt this way towards someone BUT mushy feelings are suPer duper lame so there’s that

he turns to look back at the tv

“do you think i would win in a fight against a beaver? i think i could take a beaver any day.” tae mutters through a mouthful of popcorn

he keeps his eyes glued on the screen but nudges your side with his elbow “hey, i asked you a question-“ all of a sudden you’re slumping over and your head drops onto his shoulder

he freezes almost immediately and turns slowly to look down at you

huh

you fell asleep

what time is it?

you guys have watched like four episodes of this docuseries so he can assume that it’s already pretty late

he puts the bowl of popcorn down before glancing around for his phone

he curses quietly when he sees that it’s on the coffee table but it’s just out of reach

you know when your dog or cat falls asleep on your lap

taehyung thinks that this is kind of like that

except instead of his cute dog it’s his cute roommate and he doesn’t have the heart to wake you up because you look pretty comfortable

he’ll just let you snooze for a little while longer and then he’ll wake you up so that the two of you can go to your rooms

no biggie!

he lets out a little yawn

it wouldn’t kill him to take a little snooze as well riGht

n…o….. b…i…g….g…i…e….

tae’s brows furrow in discomfort when he tries to flip over onto his other side

why,,.,. can’t he move

he sniffles and reaches up to rub at his nose before wrapping his arm back around his pillow

hm

why does his pillow feel so firm all of a sudden

tae gives his pillow a gentle squeeze

it’s like soft and firm at the same time

he peels one eye open just to check-

oh jESUS

he jolts in surprise when he realises that he’s not in his room and he’s not cuddling up to his pillow

he’s still on the couch with you and you guys are definitely snuggled up together and he was definitely groping your ass three seconds ago

his thigh is tucked in between your legs

you’re using his bicep as a pillow which explains why he couldn’t move his arm earlier

he’s sure that his heart is going to bust out of his chest because

well

hi there

u look very cute when you’re asleep

your cheeks are warm n rosy (presumably from being wrapped up in tae’s arms all night) and your hair is a little mussed up

and your face is smooshed against his bicep which is adorable

the tip of his nose bumps against yours and he feels his cheeks flush red at how close the two of you are

he’d only have to move like an inch to kiss u

you grumble something under your breath as you stir and suddenly you’re changing positions and turning around so that your back is pressed against tae’s chest

tae keeps his free arm lifted so that he doesn’t accidentally grope you again or anything lol

to his complete and uTter surprise

you reach up and grab tae’s arm before wrapping it around yourself and tae feels his heart beating a mile a minute

you’re so soft and warm and you smell so sweet and it wouldn’t hurt to just.,., doze here with you for a little while longer

taehyung can’t help but nuzzle into the back of your neck before pulling you closer and wrapping his arm tighter around you

yeah

just a little while longer

it’s about an hour later when you peel open your cruSty eyes

you let out a soft yawn and wince at the light streaming in through the blinds

huh

you must’ve fallen asleep on the couch yesterday night

also

…why does your blanket feel like an arm

you glance down and your eyes widen in surprise when you see what is inDeed an arm wrapped tightly around your waist

oh my god

you’re cuddling with taehyung

oH mYFHAJKF

“tae-“ you tap his arm and wiggle around in his grip-

what the

what is that?

there’s something hard pressing into your bum

it kind of feels like-

oH

OH MY GOD

“oh my goD tae-“ you shove his arm away before rolling off the couch with a thuMp and tae shoOts up from the couch from all the commotion

“wha- what’S happening what’s happening-“ his voice is significantly deeper and raspier considering he was sleeping very peacefully like a second ago but you can barely think about that because-

“gO take care of your thING you freAK-“

tae immediately looks down and-

oH

his face flushes bright red and he grabs a pillow to cover himself

“i can’t HELP IT oh my god you’re such a pruDE-“

to say the least

this has been a very chaotic start to the morning

“cinnamon toast crunch…” you mutter to yourself as you look over the grocery list in your hands

usually you take care of the groceries and tae just pays you back for half of them but for some reason he insisted on tagging along with you today

but you’re starting to regret your decision of letting him come with you because going grocery shopping with tae is like going grocery shopping with a five year old

“y/n, check it out! a two for one deal on m&m’s!!!!!” you look over your shoulder to see tae looking vEry excited at being in the candy aisle

you let out a sigh and shake your head before pointing to the piece of paper in your hand

“we don’t need m&m’s, it’s not on the grocery list that i meticulously curated-“

“head’s up!” you immediately duck when tae suddenly huRLS two bags of m&ms over your head and right into the cart

“tae! you could’ve hit me!!!!”

“but i didn’t”

“but you couLD have”

“…but i didn’t!” he chirps and nudges you aside a little so that the both of you can push the cart

tae’s eyes flicker down to where you’re both gripping the handlebar and he moves his hand a little closer so that his pinky is pressed right up against yours

and surprisingly enough

you don’t flinch or move your hand

tae turns his head to hide the giddy smile on his face

heehee

“you’re going to get us kicked out of the store if you keep goofing around like that, you know”

“they can’t kick us out - who else is going to buy their insanely overpriced organic vegan honey-cinnamon yogurt?” tae picks the tub of yogurt up and inspects it before putting it back down “i don’t know who else would be crazy enough to spend $18 on yogurt.”

“you’re the one who eats half a tub in a sitting so it looks like i’m not the only crazy one here.” your eyes scan over the shelves and they light up when you spot your favourite cereal calling out your name

“why can’t we get froot loops instead?” tae purses his lips as you chuck the box into the cart

“because froot loops are gross and they’re full of artificial flavours and weird preservatives-”

“cinnamon toast crunch is like a having a bowl of diabetes in the morning-“

“there’s 2.1 grams of fibre in it sO-“

“but froot loops are multicoloured!!!!!”

it’s funny

the two of you are bickering like a married couple and tae can’t help but feel some sort of odd satisfaction from that

>:-)

“tae, did you get the orange juice with pulp or without pulp??” you glance over your shoulder to see tae at the ice cream freezers

“without pulp!”

you hear the faint slam of the freezer door but you don’t think too much about it as you unzip your wallet to find your rewards card

you turn to look at him again

“and are the bagels-“

“yes, i got one bag of cinnamon-raisin and one bag of plain bagels, don’t worry-“

“here you go-“ you hand your rewards card over to the cashier with a smile and she scans it before handing it back to you

you continue to place the groceries onto the conveyer belt but you look up for a second when you notice the lady stopped scanning your things

she pauses for a moment as her eyes flicker from you to tae (who is coming back with a tub of ice cream behind his back)

you’re about to ask her if your card didn’t work or something but then-

“you two make a very cute couple.” she murmurs discreetly and your entire face immediately flames up at the comment

oh

oH

“who, me and him?“ you laugh lightly and shake your head “trust me, we’re-“ your eyes widen in surprise when taheyung’s arms suddenly snake around your waist from behind “what are you-“

“thank you very much, i think we make a cute couple too.” he presses his cheek against yours before not so subtly sliding a pint of ice cream onto the conveyer belt “but let me tell you, susan… if i was a couple years older, i think we’d make a much cuter couple.”

you resist the urge to roll your eyes because there’s no way someone would fall for a line as cheesy as that

susan immediately bursts into giggles “oh, you’re awful!”

wow

apparently you were very wrong about that

“he really is” you snort and nudge your elbow into his stomach to try and get him to release you but he only tightens his grip around you “also, put the ice cream back because we’re already way over our budget-“

“aw, c’mon, baby… won’t you buy a tub of ice cream for your darling boyfriend?” tae pouts and nudges his nose into your reddening cheek

you literally don’T know why he’s doing this and you also don’t know why you haven’t pushed him away and knocked him over the head for acting all crazy

“cut it out, you weirdo. put the ice cream back-“

“you know what? the ice cream is on me. you two are just too adorable!” susan swipes the tub over the scanner before sliding it into the bag and you and tae exchange glances

huh

he was only acting all cutesy to try to convince you to buy the ice cream but it looks like it worked on susan instead

well

either way he’s happy!!

tae pinches your side to get your attention

“you think if we make out in front of her she’ll give us the groceries for free?”

,.,..oh my god

“i’m really glad you decided to help me out with folding the laundry because-“

“check it out - i’m a fruit fly!!”

you look over to see that tae has one of your bras strapped around his head so that the cups are facing upwards and your cheeks immediately grow pink when you see him bouncing around the living room like a big ol dummy

“jesus- tae, nO” you groan and toss the shirt you’re in the middle of folding aside before holding your hand out “give it to me!!”

the two of you are standing at opposite ends of the couch and you can practically hear the cowboy showdown music in your head

“you’re going to have to rip it away from my cold… dead… bODY-“ taehyung breaks into a sprint and you immediately do the same

when he sprints past the laundry basket full of freshly dried undergarments he digs his grubbY hand into it and pulls out a-

“hey, you should wear something like this around the apartment more often.” tae gawks at the verY thin vERY lacy burgundy thong hanging around his finger “instead of those dumb fruit panties-“

“get over here so i can kiCK your ASS-“

he starts cackling when you begin to chase him around the room again only this time you’re hurling balled up socks at his head  

“and… checkmate.” taehyung knocks namjoon’s chess piece out of the way before picking it up and placing it on his side of the table

namjoon furrows his brows and tilts his head as he looks down at the chessboard

what in the world

“that- you can’t do that. your move didn’t make any sense.”

tae purses his lips and looks down at the board

“…yeah, i don’t actually know how to play chess.” taehyung chirps “i don’t even know what checkmate means”

namjoon snorts

“okay!” tae turns around and leans against the front counter when you return clutching a book to your chest “i finally found the book that i was looking for so i’m ready to go when you are!”

“i just won a game of chess against namjoon” tae points out with a bright smile and namjoon squaWks in offence

“you did noT-“

“i said checkmate so that means i won”

“that literally- get out of my library.” namjoon deadpans and points towards the door

he takes chess very seriously and he will not be riDICULED in his library!!!!!!!!

“-all i’m saying is that we didn’t have to come all the way to the library for some dumb book that you could’ve easily bought online-“

“i like holding a physical copy of a book when i’m reading!! plus, i told you you didn’t have to come with me” you nod in acknowledgement when tae holds the door open for you “why thank you, good sir”

“no problem dweeb”  

you immediately stop in your tracks when you notice the thunderclouds in the sky and the drizzling of rain

frick

you didn’t know it was going to rain today

you didn’t bring an umbrella out!!!!!

“oh, shoot… it looks like we’re just going to have to wait out the storm and then head home…” you purse your lips as you look up at the dark clouds

you stick your hand out from underneath the canopy and let out a sigh as a couple fAT droplets splatter down on your palm

tae sticks his hand out and lets out a hum “don’t be ridiculous!” he scoffs “here, you’re going to use my jacket as an umbrella-“ tae takes his jacket off and drapes it around you so that it’s covering you  

“but you’re going to get wet?” you pull it up slightly to make sure that it’s going to keep your hair from getting wet

“that’s where you’re wrong, y/l/n. you’re going to be my umbrella-“ tae squats down in front of you and you immediately let out a snort

no way

no way!!!!

“if you’re implying that you piggyback me the rest of the way home you’re crazy” you shake your head and resist the urge to kiCk his ass and knock him over “you’ll drop me!!!!”

tae looks back at you with a raised brow

“i’m not going to drop you, i promise!! come on!!! riDE ME”

you gawk and lean over to slap a hand over tae’s mouth when a couple of people exiting the library give you guys weird looks

you laugh nervously and give them a thumbs up

well

it looks like you don’t have a choice

“if you drop me, i’ll kill you.” you grumble as you hop up onto tae’s back and hold the jacket out so that the both of you are somewhat shielded

you yelp when he stands up straight and bounces you slightly to adjust you

he squeezes the underside of your thighs playfully

“not if i kill u first, nerd”

you don’t know why

but you feel like the vibe with jungkook tonight is a little different

usually when you guys hang out (you’ve hung out a couple times already but this is the first time you’ve been in such an intimate and private environment) are always wrapped up in playful banter but.,.,. tonight is just.,.,. different

it’s not a big deal but

you don’t know how else to describe it

you invited him over for dinner and a movie and just to hang out in general

and you’re in the middle of choosing another movie to watch buT you guys can’t decide on whether you should go with captain america or iron man first

“this is the hardest decision i think i’ve ever had to make in my entire life.” you frown before pursing your lips in thought

“i honestly don’t care because i’ve watched these movies like ten times each.” jungkook snorts and scoots a little closer to you as you continue to flick through the choices

you let out a little sigh of frustration

choosing a damn movie should noT be this difficult

“just choose something. anything.” jungkook says a liTtle more aggressively than intended

you turn to glance at you and he flashes you a smile and shifts closer until the side of his thigh is pressed up right against yours

hm

“i mean, i’m biased because captain america is my favourite but if you wanna watch iron man i-!” jungkook hooks a finger under your chin and turns your head before pressing his lips against yours to shut you up and you know what

it woRks

you didn’t think this was going to happen but you’re not complaining

you pull away quickly and gesture to the tv “w-we haven’t chosen a-“

“shush” jungkook pulls you back down and you twitch when you feel his hands slide down your back

your eyes flutter shut and your grip loosens around the remote and jungkook pulls it from your hand before tossing it onto the sofa chair blindly

you’re so lost in jungkook that you don’t even hear the front door opening

“oh, so you get to do it on the couch but i don’t?”

you pull away agAin and jungkook lets out a little huff before resting his head back against the couch

“tae! i didn’t… think you would be home so-“

“no way.” taehyung gawks when he sees who you’re straddling “jeon jungkook??? seriously????” he snorts as he kicks his shoes off “i mean, i knew you had low standards, but i didn’t think they were this low.”

“kim, nice to see you too.” jungkook mutters sarcastically and clenches his jaw

tae rolls his eyes almost immediately

“looks like someone still doesn’t know how to take a damn joke”

you clear your throat

it seems like there’s a little bit of tension in the air

maybe it’s time to break that tension with a jokE

“so like do you guys only address other people by their surnames or-“

“how do you two know each other anyways?” tae keeps his glare on jungkook

you let out a sigh and crawl off of jungkook because it lookS like you’re not going to be getting any more alone time with him anytime soon

“we met at the sneaky party that you threw.” you prop your elbow up on the top of the couch and lean against your fist before tucking one of your legs under the other “remember? you made us play seven minutes in heaven and-“

god damnit

tae wants to punch himself in the face

“oh, rigghhhttt.”

he should’ve gone in there with you instead of setting you up with jungkook

so

this is his owN fault

if he hadn’t invited jungkook in the first place then you wouldn’t have met him and you wouldn’t be making out with him in the middle of your guys’ living room

or maybe this is your fault!!!

if yOU didn’t come home that night then you wouldn’t have met him and you wouldn’t be making out with him in the middle of your guys’ living room

“well, don’t worry about me! you guys keep doing your thing.” taehyung smiles sweetly before disappearing towards the bedrooms

you wait to hear the faint click of his door closing aaaanndd-

click

“now… where were we?” jungkook tugs on your wrist and you smile shyly before moving back to your original position

as nice as it is making out with jungkook on your couch you can’t help but think about what taehyung has up his sleeve

because there was something about his smile that didn’t sit right with-

vrROOOOOOOOOOOO

“oh, jesus-“ you pull away from jungkook in surprise when taehyung suddenly pops out from the hallway with the vacuum cleaner

“don’t mind me! y/n sheds a LOT so i’m just cleaning up all of her hair!!” taehyung rolls the vacuum underneath jungkook’s legs before whistling a happy tune to himself “just wanna make this experience as comfortable as possible for you two lovebirds!”

“do you have to do this now???” jungkook groans and taehyung pauses before reaching down to turn the vacuum off

“you’re right! i won’t do this now-“

“-god, thank you-“

“i’ll get to it after you leave! what are we watching, folks??” jungkook purses his lips in frustration when taehyung wiggles his way in between you and him

he retracts his arm down from the couch slowly

“you know what, i should probably leave…” jungkook glances over at you with a small smile “maybe i can come back when… you know.”

“yeah, that’s probably for the best…” you laugh uneasily

this is only slighTly embarrassing

“aw, come on! the more the merrier!” tae pushes his bottom lip out in a childish pout “how could you say no to iron man??”

“i have some things to do anyway. it was good seeing you, kim.” jungkook pats his knee before getting up off the couch

“mm… i can’t say the same.” tae shrugs and brings his attention back to the screen

you can’t help but roll your eyes at how immature he’s being and you get up from the couch as well “i’ll walk you to the door, jungkook-“

“he’s perfectly capable of walking to the door by himself- oW” tae hisses when you reach down and pinch his ear to shut him up

“so… i’ll see you around?” jungkook smiles shyly and scratches the back of his neck after he gets his shoes on

“mhm!” you nod and reach over to pinch a piece of fluff off his shirt before getting up on your tippy toes to give him a kiss on the cheek “i’ll text ya”

taehyung turns his head and watches you and jungkook talking to each other by the front door

he takes his bottom lip in between his teeth and chews on it anxiously

this sucks

do you like jungkook?

obviouSly you do because you were sucking his face off when he walked in here

gRGRGs

this sucks >:-(

whatever

you’re super lame anyway so it’s not a huge loss

he can just.,.,,. he can just find someone else

tae looks away quickly when he sees you giving jungkook a kiss on the cheek

that’s not fair

how come u won’t kiss him on the cheek

he deserves cheek kisses as muCh as jungkook

maybe he was dumb to think that he had a chance with you

either that or he realised faR too late that he has feelings for you

:-(

the loved-up smile immediately drops from your face the moment jungkook disappears into the elevators and you shut the front door

“i think i’m going to take a little snooze. all that vacuuming tuckered me ouT” taehyung lets out a yawn and gets up off the couch

your body seems like it’s on autopilot mode as you practically stoRm down the hallway and follow him to his room

he’s craZy if he thinks you’re going to let him get away with doing what he just did

“by the way, since i did the vacuuming today, it’s only fair that you do it for the next month - don’t you think so?”

“what the hell was that?” you snAp as you cross your arms “you totally sabotaged my date with jungkook!”

taehyung plops down on his bed and leans back against the headboard before pulling his phone out “i have no idea what you’re talking about”

“we were having a really nice time together-“

“yeah, it sure looked like you were enjoying yourself considering you were practically sucking his face off-“

“and you just swoOp in and start vacuuming???? and-“

“you know what, y/l/n? take it up with the complaint department of kim taehyung.”

you pause

what the hell is he talking about

“wh- what are you talking about?”

“you heard me. call the complaint department.” taehyung raises his phone and wiggles it

fine

you’ll play along with whatever stupid game this is

you dial tae’s number and bring your phone up to your ear all while maintaining eye contact with tae who looks vEry smug at the moment

ring

taehyung’s phone buzzes in his hand

ring

he clears his throat and hits the answer button before bringing it up to his ear

ring

“hello! this is kim taehyung headquarters, you’re speaking to secretary kim taehyung. how may i be of service today?” he greets brightly and flashes you a bright smile and a thumbs up

you have literally never felt so ridiculous in your entire life  

you let out a quiet breath to calm yourself down

just play along!!! just play aloNG  

“i… i would like to file a complaint about kim taehyung tO the kim taehyung complaint department!”

“great, can i get a name?”

“y/n y/l/n.” you can’t believe you’re taking this phone call seriously

taehyung leans back against his headboard and crosses one ankle over the other

“alright, miss y/l/n. i’ll connect you to the kim taehyung complaint department right now. i’m going to put you on hold now, if that’s okay?”

“taehyung, you’re wasting my TIME-“

taehyung literally puts you on hoLD and tosses his phone aside and you scoff when your phone starts playing an overly-cheerful piano version of twinkle twinkle little star  

you glance over at tae

he pokes his tongue into his cheek uninterestedly as he inspects his nails  

…

“…taehyung, i swear to god-“  

“shush!“ taehyung holds a finger out to shut you up “you don’t want to miss your call, do you?”

“jesus christ.” you mutter and pinch the bridge of your nose

this is ridiculous

taehyung picks his phone back up

he clears his throat

“hello! this is the kim taehyung complaint department of kim taehyung headquarters. you’re speaking to head manager kim taehyung. how may i be of service today?”

you roll your eyes before shaking your head

“okAy now that you’re finally giving me a chance to talk about-“

“oOh, sorry!” taehyung winces “my lunch break just started. you know how it is.” he pushes his bottom lip out in a mocking pout before trailing his pointer finger down from his eye to his cheek “try calling again in an hour! byeeeeee.” taehyung hangs uP on you before tossing his phone aside

UH

whAT-

WHAKJFHS

he looks over at you and raises a brow “…any success with the hotline?”

oOH

oHHDKSJHKSJD

he drives you CRAZY

you don’t know what happened!!!

he’s been so sweet to you for like a month and now it’s like the taehyung you met five months ago

and now he’s calling you y/l/n again and he’s making snide comments and being ruDe and wow

you should’ve known it wasn’t going to last forever

bAck to normal

this sucks

you honest to god don’t know what happened

whatever

if he’s going to be a stubborn prick there’s nothing you can do about it

taehyung lets out a breath once you close his door

and he can’t help but think:

maybe this is a wake up call

you hanging with jungkook and all

maYbe this is god’s way of telling him to make a move otherwise he’s going to regret it

he’s liked you for nearly a month and he literally hasn’t done anything about it so mAYbe this was a swift kick to his ass telling him to man up and dO something

“yeah.” taehyung whispers to himself

yeah

…he’s going to tell you that he likes you!!!!

and he’s going to do it as soon as possible

so

uh

it’s been about a week and a bit since your faiLure of a date with jungkook

he hasn’t made a move to reach out to you which is kind of odd

you diD leave him a text message but he never got back to you and you didn’t want to be that person who double-texted and just radiated desperation  so you didn’t do anything else

maybe he was just weirded out by tae or something

speaking of tae

you pull your phone out of your pocket when you feel it buzzing and you bring it up to your ear

“hello?”

“where do we keep all those takeout menus?” you hear some clattering on the other end of the line and you safely assume that tae’s going through all the drawers

“y/n!”

“in the-“

“oh, never mind! i found them. okay, see you soon… raccoon!”

you snort and roll your eyes

taehyung noticed that you and namjoon always said see you later alligator and in a while crocodile to each other instead of saying goodbye and he wanted to be a part of it too buT namjoon was like if you still the alligator thing from me i will give you a million paper cuts

so he came up with an alternative and that was see you soon..,.,. raccoon

it’s cute that he tried

“y/n!!”

“toodle-loo kangaroO” you hum before hanging up and slipping your phone back into your pocket

“y/n!” you turn to glance over your shoulder and you feel your heart beginning to race almost immEdiately when you see jungkook jogging towards you

oh god

what are you wearing today

you look down

jeans and… is this tae’s sweatshirt?????

oops

he must’ve mixed your guys’ laundry up agAin

“hey!” you smile brightly and wipe your sweaTy palms down on your jeans

you don’t know why you’re so nervous all of a sudden

you’ve literally had his tongue in your mouth before so

okay ew

“hey, i was hoping to bump into you! i’m sorry i haven’t texted you all week, i’ve been like, super busy.”

you’re far too infatuated with jungkook’s pretty brown eyes to notice that he smirks and nods in acknowledgement at another girl behind you

“oh! um, no, don’t worry about it.” you laugh nervously “look, i’m really sorry about what happened the last time we hung out… i didn’t think tae would be so… y’know…” you trail off awkwardly and scratch the back of your neck

“it’s totally fine, don’t worry about it!” jungkook shakes his head and smiles brightly at you “that’s actually why i wanted to talk to you… would you maybe be interested in a makeup date? i don’t want to seem too eager but… are you free tonight? maybe we can pick up from where we left off…?” he hums, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear

you flush almost immediately

he wants to hang out toniGht

you need at least two to three business days to prepare when you make plans with someone

oH but it’s jungkook.,,.,.

“uh, yeah! yes, i’m super free tonight. i mean, not like, not that like i didn’t have plans or anything but-”

“great! i’ll come and pick you up at your place around… 7 o’clock?”

well

it looks like you officially have plans tonight

here’s the thing

taehyung has decided that tonight is the night

tonight is the night where he’s going to tell you that he might have a teensy crush on you and he’s just hoping it’ll work out

he’s never really had to.,,. confess to someone before considering he’s usually the one being confessed to

so this is a whole new game for him

he’s sure it’ll be fine though!!

he made sure to vacuum and dust the apartment and just make everything a lot neater before you got back

he timed it perfectly so that the pizza would get here ten minutes before you got home so that when you guys dig in you won’t burn the roof of your mouths with hoT cheese

he even picked up a bouquet of roses for you just because he felt like that would be something you’d like!!

and now he’s busy lighting candles because he wants everything to be perfect for you

tae perks up when he hears the front door slam shut and the faint jingling of your keys

you’re home!!!!!!

hehe

he nearly trips over himself as he rushes out from the kitchen

he glances over his shoulder at his romantic setup just to double check that he didn’t accidentally light anything on fire lol

“hey!” he greets a liTTle too enthusiastically before clearing his throat

okAy

keep it casual

“i mean… hey.” his voice deepens a little bit but his boxy grin returns to his face when you look over at him “there’s an extra large pizza sitting on the table with our names on it anD i even ordered that garlic aioli you like so much-“

“did we plan something tonight?” you furrow your brows in confusion and wrack through your brain to see if you remember making dinner plans with tae or not

huh

usually you remember these types of things

taehyung falters before pointing at the tv over his shoulder “uh, well, no, we didn’t plan anything but i thought that maybe we could have some dinner and maybe watch another one of those nature documentaries again!”

if he’s lucky maybe you’ll fall asleep midway through the documentary which will result in an accidental-but-totally-on-purpose snuggle on the couch again

>:-)

you look over at the tv and notice that he’s already turned netflix on

your favourite candle is burning away on the coffee table

there’s a bowl of warm, buttery popcorn (your favourite) mixed with mini peanut butter cups (his favourite)

aw

that’s awfully nice of tae

you feel a twingE of guilt knowing that you’re about to shut him down because you already have plans

but you’re sure he’ll understand

“that’s super nice of you and all but i actually already have plans…” you smile sheepishly and scratch your temple

the bright smile starts to fade from tae’s face and he purses his lips slightly “oh…”

that’s kind of a bummer

he really wanted to spend the night with you

tonight was supposed to be the night after all

“maybe another time! you can invite some of your pals over and hang with them! no parties, though. i’m serious.” you tease and press your hand against tae’s chest to lean against him as you take your shoes off

“right, yeah…” tae reaches up to place his hand over yours and his heart is beating so hard he’s sure you can feel it “are you… going out with namjoon or something?”

“nope - i’m going out with jungkook!”

wait

ur what

taehyung swallows thickly

what do u mean ur going out with jungkook

“considering the fact that you kinda ruined the last date i had with him - he asked me today if i wanted to go out for dinner tonight and i said yes!” you squeal excitedly and give his chest a pat before brushing past him to go to your bedroom

“why… why would you say yes?” tae blurts out

“why wouldn’t i say yes?” you raise a brow at tae before heading over to your closet and starting to rifle through your options “it was kind of a last minute thing so i don’t have a lot of time to get ready but luckily i know jusT what to wear…”

“but like… i ordered a pizza for us?” taehyung doesn’t know why he’s so nervous all of a sudden

“uh-huh - could you turn around for a second? i need to change.”

he wants to ask you to cancel ur plans and hang out with him

he ordered a pizZA for the two of you to share!!!!

he just doesn’t like that you’re hanging out with jungkook because he knoWs there’s a mutual attraction between the two of you and he doesn’t liKE THAT

not to mention

jungkook is a one night stand kind of guy and he’s probably going to bail on you after getting into your pants

the only reason why he’s still spending time with you is because you haven’t had sex with him yet and jungkook isn’t a quitter

taehyung only knows all of this because he lived with the guy last year for crying out loud

jeon jungkook is a young man of many talents and one of them is playing the ‘i’m not like other guys :-)’ card very, veRy well

“tae? could you help me?” taehyung is snapped out of his thoughts by your soft voice and he-

oh wow

god you’re pretty

you’re wearing a baby blue mini dress patterned with little daisies

you reach up to tug at one of the sleeves before turning around and gesturing to the zipper in the back

“oh, uh, yeah.” he steps towards you and you pull your hair aside

taehyung clears his throat as he pulls your zipper up slowly

his eyes flicker up to yours in the mirror

“you look… good. you look really pretty.”

the shyest of smiles tug at the corner of your mouth and you mutter a little ‘thank u’

tae can’t help but wish that you were dressing up for a date with him instead of a date with someone else

“i’ll see you later, tae!”

taehyung lets out a breath as he hears the door slam shut

looks like it’s just dinner for one tonight

he leans over and blows out the candle

you rub your hands together and shiver as you step out of the building

you hop down the stairs happily

it’s definitely a little chilly tonight but you’re not going to let that dampen the mooD

maybe you should’ve brought a cardigan with you

you still have time to go up and get it

but then again, jungkook’ll probably be here soon so you’ll be in the warmth of his heated car in no time

you just have to wait for a little bit!

you sit down on the steps and pick a piece of lint off your dress

and so, you wait

and you wait

and you wait

and you wait and you wait and you wait until you’ve been sitting on the steps for two whole hours

jungkook hasn’t texted

he hasn’t called

you’ve heard absolutely nothing from him

the only reason why you haven’t gone back up to the apartment is because you’re paranoid that if jungkook comes and you’re uP there then he’ll think that you’RE the one who bailed and you definitely don’t want that-

you nearly drop your phone when it starts buzzing in your hand and you don’t know whether to feel angry or relieved to see jungkook’s number on the screen

“hello?” you clear your throat and wrap your arms tighter around yourself

jesus it’s coLd

“y/n, i am so sorry… i completely forgot about dinner tonight… can we reschedule?”

“n-no, it’s okay, it happens to all of us!” you shake your head as you push yourself up off the stairs “i didn’t think i would be so easily forgotten considering the fact that you asked me like four hours ago but-“

you freeze when you hear the sound of someone else’s soft giggle and a faint ‘who’s that, kookie?’ in the background and you immediately pale

is he

is he seriously with someone else right now

“sorry, were you saying something? i think you got cut off.”

you poke your tongue into your cheek and let out a scoff

“…go fuck yourself, kookie.”

you hang up on him before he has the chance to respond and shove your phone back into your purse

jesus

what a jerk!!!!!

you waited two hours for him!!! and it tuRns out he was with someone else the entiRE friggin time

you feel so stupid

the entire elevator ride back up to the apartment you’re thinking of a hundred different ways to castrate jeon jungkook

you would love to just drive your fist riGHT into that absurdly-toned stomach

put some high heels on and jump all over his muscular thighs

maybe even-

“you’re back much earlier than i expected.”

you close the door behind you and double lock it

tae is sitting on the couch still watching the nature docuseries

and it looks like he finished most of the popcorn and peanut-butter cups himself

taehyung furrows his brows as he checks the time on his phone “it’s only-“

“he didn’t come. he forgot about dinner.” you force a smile on your face as you bend down to untie your shoelaces

taehyung frowns

uh oh

“…but you’ve been gone for two hours-“

“because i was waiting outside on the sidewalk-“

“well why didn’t you just come back up-“

“because he said he would pick me up outside, and i didn’t want him to think i bailed on him or anything if i wasn’t waiting for him downstairs.” your voice wavers slightly as you yank your hair down from your high ponytail

taehyung can see that you’re visibly upset and it makes hiM mad that jungkook flaked on his date with you

but at the same time it makes him mad that you said yes to going out with jungkook instead of hanging out with him!!!

he doesn’t know what to think!!!

maybe it’s because he’s eaten like 100 mini peanut butter cups and feels suPer jittery but he’s just vEry confused and frustrated about a lot of things but one thing that he knows for sure is that he likes u a lot and he’s hurt because yoU chose jungkook over him

and he knows that you’re not obligated to hang out with him anD he supposes it’s not fair of him to act so selfishly considering the fact that you don’t know about his feelings for you but stiLL

he’s allowed to wallow in a pool of self-pity for as long as he likes!!!!  

“i’m not surprised he bailed on you.” taehyung mutters to himself and turns the volume up on the tv

you immediately stop in your tracks

oh boy

if you weren’t upset a second ago you’re definitely upset now

you drop your purse to the floor before storming over and grabbing the remote from him and promptly turning the tv off

“hey, i was watching that!” taehyung snaps and reaches over to grab the remote back from you “give it back-“

“why are you such an asshole?!” you hiss and toss the remote aside “for the last couple of months, i’ve been nothing but a wonderful roommate! i cook, i clean, i buy the groceries, i make sure the bills are always paid on time so that you can enjoy your hot lava showers, i do the laundry, i even iron your stupid bandanas for you because i don’t want you walking around with crinkly ass bandanas on your head - and you have repaid me with absolutely nothing!” tears of anger sting at your eyes and you reach up to wipe them away aggressively

taehyung gets up from the couch “jesus, y/n, take it easy-“

“all you do is sit on your ass all day and whine and complain and make mean comments and push me around and leave your shiT everywhere a-and constantly bring girls home and i hate you! i absolutely, 100% hate you with every fibre of my being and i want you out of my goddamn apartment by the end of tomorrow night. i want you out!”

taehyung’s eyes widen in surprise

okay

first of all

ouch

“you don’t hate me.” taehyung shakes his head and gets up from the couch

“i do. i do hate you. like, a lot.” you mumble and cross your arms

he’s quiet for a second and he clenches his jaw  

“fine, here’s what we’re going to do.”

you furrow your brows in confusion as tae pushes the couch to the side of the room before proceeding to push the coffee table to the side as well so that the centre of the living room is bare

“what the hell are you doing??”

“you stand by the front door,” taehyung points towards the door “and i’ll stand way over there by the balcony doors. from this point, there are approximately twelve steps away from both the front door and the balcony doors, so it’s fair. every time you list one reason as to why you hate me, you take a step forward.”

you immediately scoff

“oh, please. i can list a hundred reasons as to why i hate you.“

“however!” taehyung raises a finger to shut you up “if i can defend myself against you, i can take a step forward as well. if i get to the centre of the room before you, i get to stay. if you get to the centre before i do, then i’ll leave.”

“what do you mean defend yourself?? that hardly seems fair-”

“hey, i’m giving you the chance to kick me out. don’t you want to take that chance since you obviously hate me, y/n?” he seethes and clenches his fists at his sides

“you know what? fine. i have a vEry detailed list of reasons why i hate you in my notes app and i’m glad that i finally get to share it with you” you pull your phone out and open up the document

(you made this document within the first month of him moving in but you haven’t actually opened it in a long time so it’s kinDa empty so it looks like you’re going to have to improvise)

taehyung snorts and rolls his eyes as he leans back against the balcony doors “you’re not doing a very good job at hiding your crazy, y/l/n.”

there he goes again with anoTher snarky comment

you are sO ready to win this fight and kick kim taehyung out of your apartment

you ignore his remark and clear your throat before taking one step forward “reason #1: you constantly use my shampoo. it’s my shampoo!!! i bought it with my own money aNd it’s on my side of the tub!!”

“how dare you?” taehyung scoffs “i’m helping you by using your shampoo.”

what the hell is he even talking about

“what- please, enliGhten me.” you snort “how are you helping me by using up all of my shampoo?”

“see, the thing is - you use too much conditioner. i’m a very observant person, and i’ve noticed that since you use too much conditioner every time you wash your hair, you’re always having to buy a new bottle of conditioner way, waY before you’ve finished using up the shampoo. so i’m just helping out by using up all the shampoo so that the ratio of shampoo to conditioner is always consistent! if you think about it, i’m actually helping you out.”

taehyung takes a step forward and you gawk at him before shaking your head “that is noT fair-“

“hey, i defended myself and i backed myself up with good reasons. next reason!”

“fine!” you take another step forward and look at the list on your phone again “you always, always leave your dirty dishes in the sink and you never wash them which means i end up having to take care of them for you. have you noticed i never leave any of my dirty dishes in the sink?”

“you know, you’re right about that.” taehyung lets out a sigh and crosses his arms “…however, the problem with your statement is that you don’t give me the chance to take care of my dirty dishes in the sink. i leave them there for one minute and the next thing i know, when i walk back into the kitchen, you’re already there scrubbing away at the dishes. i don’t wash my dishes because you won’t let me. you’re right! you never leave any of your dirty dishes in the sink because you always eat takeout - do you realise you’re contributing to the plastic waste pollution that is already greatly impacting our planet? do you hate the earth, y/n? is that it? you like watching nature documentaries yet you don’t seem to care about our planet…”

“i-i don’t hate the earth!!!! i love the earth!!!!” you stammer over your words at the sudden accusation of you wanting to watch the world burn

“say that to the fAT bag of plastic straws in the kitchen cabinet. i highly suggest you invest in a reusable metal straw, like me.”

shiT

okay it’s fine you still have plenty of things to complain about

“you drink juice straight out of the carton!”

“i drink the juice out of the carton because you constantly complain about me having dirty dishes. if i drink out of the carton, i won’t have to use a cup, which results in less dirty dishes. you’re welcome.”

“you consTAntly leave the toilet seat up”

“actually, you constantly leave the toilet seat down.”

“whenever you bring your special friends over you guys are always too loud aNd it always sounds like goats screeCHING”

taehyung holds a finger out and takes another step forward

oh you have goT to be kidding

“you haven’t-“

“have you ever heard me?”

you falter for a second

he hasn’t brought a girl around in a while but you remember that when he would bring them over usually you’d just hear,.,. the girl

thinking about it now you don’t know if you’ve ever heard taehyung moaning obnoxiously

“the ladies are the ones making the goat noises, not me - so you can’t blame me here because i’m not the one making the sounds.” taehyung laughs lightly and the smug smile drops from your face when he takes a step forward

oh my god

this game is impossible

you’re never going to win

you’re never going to get rid of him

taehyung totaLLy rigged the entire thing

you hate him!!!!

“i hate you.” you take a giAnt step forward

taehyung raises a brow

huH

so that’s how you’re going to play it

alright

“i hate you more.” he does the same

“i hate you most!” you take another step forward

“i hate you mostest!”

“i hate you… x100!!!!”

“i hate you infinity!!!”

and now

you’re both standing toe to toe nose to nose in the middle of the living room and taehyung raises a brow at you as if daring you to make a move

you want nothing more than to wipe that cocky smirk off his face

and he wants nothing more than to continue to push your buttons and piss you off

…

the sound of your phone clattering to the ground might as well be a starter gunshot

the two of you practically lunge at each other and your mouths smear together clumsily

your teeth bump together with scraping kisses but honestly you can’t bring yourself to care

there’s something sweet about the way his lips taste

…it’s that damn strawberry gum he’s always chewing on

you feel tae’s hands slide down from your waist and skim over your bum briefly before he’s wrapping his fingers around the underside of your thighs and hoisting you up in one swift movement

you let out a gasp of surprise before winding your arms around tae’s neck instinctively “jesUs tae give a girl a warning next time-“

“next time?” he jokes and your cheeks flush at the implication that this is going to happen again sometime in the future

luckily the bedroom isn’t far from the living room because tae’s low-key afraid he’s going to drop you at some point

“u know what i mean”

“no, i don’t think i do- also, we’re fucking in my room because i’m the one with the condoms-“

“how do you know i don’t have condoms???”

“…you ever think about becoming a comedian?”

you roll your eyes before leaning down and covering his mouth with yours

“hey, i just realised i didn’t get the chance to tell you about all the things that i despise about you!” the mattress bounces underneath your weight as tae plops you down on it

you let out a huff and reach up to brush a couple strands of hair away from your face

“impossible because i’m literally perfect in every single way possible-“

“you wanna know what i hate about you?” tae cuts you off and parts your legs before crawling over you “you watch rilakkuma and you are an aDULt-”

you gawk immediately and resist the urge to smack him on the side of his head “says the one who watches naRUtO-“

“and not to mention i hate your stupid fruit-printed panties-“ taehyung growls and grinds down against your centre as he nips down your neck

you instinctively arch your back against him before letting out a snort “they’re cute and comFORtabLE-“

“if you’re going to walk around the apartment with no shorts on, at least wear something a little lacier.” he rolls his eyes as he pulls away from you and hops off so that he’s standing at the foot of the bed

you shuffle up to settle your head back against the pillows “oh, fuck you”

before you get a chance to get comfortable tae’s grabbing your ankles then pulling you back down so that your legs are dangling off the end of the mattress

your eyes widen when he suddenly appears above you

“trust me, i’m about to.” he leans down to give you a quick kiss before pulling away and you unconsciously let out a whimper

taehyung lowers to his knees and pushes your dress up until it’s crumpled up around your waist

god  

of course your panties have peaches on them  

fitting, considering the fact he’s going to be eating your peach in a minute

“oh, i also hate that you watch nature documentaries instead of shitty reality television shows like the reST of us-“ he grumbles and yanks your panties off before tossing them aside

you instinctively squeeze your legs together and taehyung reaches up to grip onto your kneecaps

“you know, i don’t know why you have to be so judgemental about eveRYthing that i do!! like so what if i watch rilakkuma and documentaries about sharks and- namjoon was actually the one who introduced me to nature docs in the first place because he said that cartoons would rot my brain so if you’re looking to put the blame on someone i personally would hiGHly suggest that- oH“ you yelp in surprise when tae suddenly fuLLy spreads your legs in one swift movement

he looks up at you from in between your legs and his fingers dig into the soft flesh of your thigh when he feels you wanting to cloSe them again

“are you going to shut up and let me go down on you or what?”

well

it doesn’t take you very long to discover what soo-young, or joy, was so damn happy about

your back arches and your lashes flutter in disbelief when you feel tae gliding his tongue in between your folds in quick, deep strokes

you don’t really want to give him the satisfaction of hearing you moan because of him but goD he’s making it really hard to not moan

your fingers grip tightly at the bedsheets and you nearly bite your bottom lip off when taehyung’s the one who lets out a throaty groan

“a-ah-“ this is the first loud moan he’s been able to pull from you and you feel the curve of his mouth as he smiles against you

“where do you think you’re going?” you let out a little yelp of surprise when taehyung wraps his arms around your thighs and pulls you down so that he can get even deeper

“tae- oh my god-“ you’re practically blubbering at this point and taehyung is very satisfied knowing about his effect on you

your knuckles feel creaky from clutching at the bedsheets so tightly but somehow you manage to pry one hand off before you’re tangling your fingers into tae’s honey brown locks and giving him a little tug of encouragement

the strands of hair feel awfully soft between your fingers and you’re reminded for a brief second that it’s because he’s using your organic shampoo and condition-

“don’T stop, oh my god, don’t stop-“ you accidentally give him a particularly rough yank when he suckles harder and flicks his tongue rapidly over your nerves

you can feel your muscles starting to get tighter

your abdomen starting to clench and unclench

and that familiar warmth growing in your stomach

the tingly feeling from the tips of your toes to the tips of your fingers

you’re almost there

getting closer and closer to cloud nine

and just when you’re literally a second away from exploding-

your eyes pop open when tae suddenly pulls away and your body twitches in response to being so close yet so far  

“wait, wha-“ you prop yourself up on your elbows

your dress is drooping off one shoulder and you gawk at tae when it seems like he’s not going to get back down there anytime soon “what are you doing?? i was literally about to-“

“if you’re going to cum-“ tae gets back up onto his knees before tugging his shirt off in one swift movement

oh

hello

he tilts his head and offers you a smirk when he notices your eyes wandering

“-you might as well do it around my cock.”  

it doesn’t take very long for the two of you to prep for the main course

in fact it kind of seems like a competition as the both of you riP your clothes off  

you’re pretty sure you broke a thread or two on your dress but it’s fine

“you ready?” there’s a playful glint in tae’s eyes as he rips the foil package open with his teeth

you resist the urge to roll your eyes as you settle back against the fluffy pillows

“are you ready?” you challenge with a raised brow

christ almighty

he likes you but you’re reaLLy getting on his nerves

“i cannot wait to fuck the brattiness out of you” tae grumbles more to himself than to you

also

you knew tae was packing even beFore you got to see it up close and personal (like all those times he’d walk around the apartment wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants) but it still doesn’t fail to surprise you looking at it now

he’s an impressive size, to say the least

tae glances at you for a second as if to gauge your reaction as he rolls the condom onto his length smoothly

well

the way you spread your legs for him the moment he gets the condom on is definitely a good sign

tae settles in between your legs and leans down to give you an (unexpectedly sweet) kiss as he presses against your entrance

he immediately notices the way your brows pinch together in discomfort

it hAs been a while after all

“you alright?” he asks softly as you envelope him in your arms

“don’t get all soft on me now, kim” you tease and brush some hair out of his eyes

he snorts

“trust me, i’m the opposite of that-“

your mouth falls open in a silent gasp when tae slides in smoothly with no resistance at aLL from your walls

he did a really good job warming you up that’S for sure

you dig your nails into his shoulders when he drives forward hard and he swoops down to catch your lips in a kiss

“jesus, you’re tight-“ he huffs when he feels you clench around him

you whimper breathlessly while pulling his broad, muscled shoulders closer and bucking your hips up towards him

“do you hate me now, hm?” tae growls lowly as he hitches one of your legs up to his hip and continues to piston into you

“i, nngh, i h-hate you s-so much-“ you’re practically sobbing with pleasure and taehyung is most definitely going to keep this memory in his spank bank for future use heyO

he’s going so mind-blowingly hard he’s sure that he’s going to break the bed

his breathing is raggedly in time with every push into you

he groans and throws his head back when he feels himself getting closer n closer to the edge

he never thought it was possible to feel this good

god is a woman yes She IS

your head digs back against the plush pillows and tae lowers his body so that he’s resting on his forearms

his sticky chest is practically crushed against yours as he continues to drive you into the bed and you can’t help but let yourself indulge in the feeling of his muscles rippling underneath your fingertips

“you don’t- fuck, you don’t hate me, admit it-“

“jesus tae of course i don- god, h-harder,” you hiccup and dig your nails into his back so hard that you’re positive you’re drawing a little bit of blood “please-“

if there’s one thing that taehyung knows he’s super good at

it’s taunting you

and he’ll never forgive himself if he lets this window of opportunity close on him

“please, who?” he taunts you with hot breaths against your ear “say my name-“

“f-fuck you-“

“jesus, fuck, say my fucking name-“ his hand slips in between your legs and you twitch when he starts rubbing quick circles over your clit “let everybody know who’s making you feel this good-“ taehyung groans and buries his face into the crook of your neck

“tae- oh my god, taehyung-!” you cry out sharply and immediately tighten around the next powerful push he delivers inside of you

your orgasm shockwaves through you as you pulse hard around him

you can practically hear your blood roaring in your ears as he continues to fuck you through your orgasm

speaking of orgasms

tae’s thrusts are starting to get jerky and uneven and you can tell by the way his nails dig into the soft flesh of your hips that he’s close

“so fucking tight-“ tae stiffens and rams into you one last time before his orgasm practically explodes from the centre of him and into the condom

his lips part and he lets out a low moan of satisfaction before going slack on top of you

you’re nothing but light twitches and whimpers as taehyung pulls out of you gently

you feel him pressing soft kisses to your shoulders and you reach up to stroke your hand over his damp locks before he’s rolling off of you with a gasp

…

okay

oookaaay

okay!

so

you just

you and tae just

y’all really did that

the realisation that the two of you just had sex seems to hit the both of you at the same time

tae clears his throat

“so.”

“so.” you repeat quietly

you prop yourself up on your elbows and turn to look over at him

“you can keep living here, i was just… pent-up anger, you know how it builds.”

“oh, yeah, i get it.” tae clears his throat as he sits up to toss the soiled condom away

you lie back down and let out a breath

would it be weird for you to stay

is he not asking you to leave because he’s just being polite

o god

yeah

maybe you should go back to your room

you lift the covers off gingerly and sit up as your eyes flicker about to search for your dress “i should probably-“

tae reaches out quickly and wraps his fingers around your wrist

you turn to look at him

he looks dewy in the warm glow of the bedside lamp (but also because he’s kinda sweAty)

his cheeks are rosy and his hair is mussed and he has blotches of red dotted along his neck and if you look hard enough you’re able to make out the faint crescent moon marks embedded in his bicep (you really need to cut ur nails soon)

he’s so cute

“you- uh, you can stay if you want to… you didn’t get a chance to put your fresh bedsheets on anyway”

his heart skips a beat when you nod and curl back under the covers with him

a moment of silence goes by

tae turns over onto his side so that he’s facing you

“do you actually hate me?” he murmurs and reaches over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear

you hum

“i could never.”

he smiles happily before flipping over onto his back

he doesn’t know if now would be a good time to tell you about how he feels about you

the comfortable silence is nice and also he’s still a little anxious about how you’re going to respond

he doesn’t want to ruin this bubble that you guys are in right now

so maybe it’d be better to tell you tomorrow

yeah

he’ll do it tomorrow

as you’re lying there in the dark, the thought of ‘do i like taehyung?’ crosses your mind

and there’s really only one answer to that question

there’s a reason why you weren’t all that hurt when jungkook didn’t show up

there’s a reason why the entire time you were waiting for jungkook to pick you up, the only thing you were thinking about was how you definitely bailed on tae and how much fun a pizza and documentary night would’ve been with him

there’s a reason why you let him join in on your supEr private air-guitar concerts in the kitchen that only namjoon has been able to experience

there’s a reason why you don’t mind all the teasing and the hair-pulling

there’s a reason

why you don’t get mad at him when he wakes you up in the morning by whacking you with a pillow before bouncing up and down on your bed like a maniac

why you don’t roll your eyes when he complains about there not being any yogurt left or when you eat the last piece of orange chicken or when you insist on watching another episode of ‘our earth’ before going to bed and he responds by calling you a nerd

there’s a reason why you feel like this unintentional hookup was actually intentional this whole damn time

there’s a reason why you agreed to stay with him instead of going to your room which is literally ten steps away

oh, god. i like taehyung.

taehyung wakes up the next morning in a cold, empty bed

he props himself up and rubs his hand over his face to wake himself up a little bit

his eyes flicker over your side of the bed

the pillow still has a dip in it from where your head was and-

yep of courSe you left a couple stands of hair behind lol

he turns to check the time on his phone and thaT’s when he notices the pink sticky note stuck to the pole of his bedside lamp

he squints a little because his eyes are still a little bleary with sleep

but once the note comes into his focus and he gets a chance to read it

his heart drops to his stomach

‘taehyung - i think that was a mistake.’

here’s the thing

you’re not just stressing out a little bit

you weren’t even this nervous when you were studying for finals!!!!!

you’re stressing out a LOTtle bit because now that you’ve had the entire day to think about it

you’re 110% sure that you have a crush on kim taehyung

and you have no fuNKing idea what the heck you’re supposed to do now

tell him that you like him??? what if he doesn’t like you back?? he’s still going to be your roommate even if he doesn’t like you back and things will never be the same again because you’re always going to have that elephant in the room you’ll be tip-toeing around and it’s just going to be a biG ol mess

but what if you don’t tell him that you like him?? then things will go back to normal except you guys will just never talk about the fact that his p was inside of your v and you’re probably going to have to deal with him bringing girls over again which is something that would honestly probably break your already weAK heart

but if you really think about it

at the end of the day, you’re always going home to taehyung

taehyung is your home.

“sometimes you just have to be willing to take a chance, you know?” namjoon shrugs as he flips a pen in between his fingers “otherwise you’re going to spend the rest of your life wondering to yourself, ‘what if i…?’”

you let out a little huff and lean down to press your face against the counter

sometimes you feel like namjoon was some kind of wise old owl in his past life

or maybe because he just reads a lot of philosophy books

he spends a lot of time in the library after all

“i don’t know, joonie… it’s not that easy, you know?” you sigh and shake your head “what happens if he doesn’t feel-“

namjoon literally shrieKs and ducks down when the library doors suddenly swing open violently

your eyes widen when you see taehyung storm in looking like he’s about to kill someone

he looks around frantically before locking gazes with you

oh

great!

it looks like the person he’s about to kill is you

“what the hell do you mean by ‘i think that was a mistake?’”

oh boy

you swallow thickly

“it either was a mistake or it wasn’T a mistake! you can’t think you made a mistake! you make a mistake, or you don’t make a mistake! there’s no in between, y/n!” he exasperates as he stomps over to you

you flash the people around the front counter a sheepish smile before looking at a veRy angry tae

you clear your throat

“hello to you too, roomie.”

“oh don’T give me that roomie bullshit right now, y/l/n.” he snaps and fixes the strap of his backpack “i think we need to talk.”

hA

nice reference

how clever of him

the cheeky boy

“i… don’t know if we have anything we need to talk about…” you shrug innocently before turning to lean back against the counter

oh

alright

if that’s how you’re going to do things then tae will happily play along

“oh? we don’t?” he raises a brow before poking his tongue into the inside of his cheek

“nope”

he scoffs and crosses his arms before looking you dead in the eye

“okay, fine. we don’t have to talk about the red scratch marks down my back left by your nails due to our mind-blowing sex last night because they’re kindA starting to sting and i was hoping we could go to the pharmacy and pick up some ointment for them… we also don’t have to talk about how you practically went cross-eyed when i did that thing with my tongue where-“

“okAY so it looks like we do have a couple things to talk about after all!!!!!” your voice cracks and namjoon gives you that look that you knOw is the ‘you have a lot of explaining to do’ face

it kind of makes him look constipated but that’s not the point

the most private place you could find in the shortest amount of time was behind the library

there’s a faint smell of garbage since this is where the dumpsters are but it seems like neither one of you care

“what is the matter with you??” you hiss and cross your arms

“what’s the matter with me?” tae scoffs “what’s the matter with yOU??”  

you resist the urge to roll your eyes

“look, i’m sure whatever you want to talk about can wait til we get back to the apartment-“

“where were you in the morning?” tae interrupts you and raises a brow

…

oof

see

the thing is

this morning when you woke up and realised that you still had feelings for taehyung and it wasn’t just a post-orgasm hormonal thing you kind of freaked out

so naturally you just… left

you just needed some time to think

anD you needed to hunt namjoon down because he always gives the best advice

you didn’t think it’d be such a big deal

in fact you’re not even sure why taehyung is fussing so much over it

unless….

“what- what are you talking about?”

“i don’t know how else to state the question. where were you this morning?”

“…i was… look, taehyung, i-“

“how do you think it makes me feel when you promised you would stay with me and i-i wake up completely alone and instead of seeing you the first thing i see is a stupid sticky note with-“ he raises his hands to do air quotes “-taehyung, i think that was a mistake?????”

“i can see why that would make you upset but i really think it’d be best if we just forgot about what we did and simply moved on-“

“oh my god, you are so stuBBo- you know what, i actually didn’t get the chance to finish going through the list of things that i hate about you, so i think now is the perfect chance to finish telling you aLL about it” tae laughs coldly and your brows knit together in confusion

“i don’t know if that’s very relevant right now-“

“you wanna know what the biggest thing i hate about you is?”

oh god

here we go

“what? my apparent inability to differentiate between making a mistake and-“

“i hate how much i like you.” tae interrupts you and your eyes widen at the sudden confession “i like everything about you, y/n. i like seeing how happy you get when you’re watching an episode of rilakkuma or when we’re having a nature documentary marathon. i like your stupid fruit-printed panties and i’m pretty sure my heart went into overdrive when i saw your dumb peach ones last night.” tae rolls his eyes playfully, “i like you, and i’m like 97% sure that you like me back, but you’re just too stubborn to admit it! i just- you are so fruStrating and usually i can tell if someone likes me back but it’s like i can’t even tell with you!!!!!” he scoffs and flaiLs his arms around before starting to pace around in front of you “jesus, y/l/n, i like you, and i wanna hold your hand, and i wanna kiss your stupid face after you wake up and before you go to bed, and i want you to wear my sweatshirts not because it was accidentally mixed into your laundry basket but just because you like wearing my clothes, and i wanna go grocery shopping with you and see how many tubs of ice cream we can get for free-“

you’re barely paying attention to what taehyung’s saying because:

taehyung likes you

and you like him

the realisation makes a soft smile appear on your face and you feel your heart skip a beat

taehyung likes you!!!!

and you like him!!!!

you guys like each other!!!!!

oh my god!!!!!

oH My gOD!!!!!!

“and you know what, even if you don’t like me back i don’t regret telling you about my feelings because i feel good knowing that it’s off my chest-“

“tae-“ you clear your throat and tae holds a hand out as if to tell you to shUT it

“-and at the end of the day we’re still going to be roommates which is finE with me like if you don’t like me in that way i guess i’ll have to get used to rejection but-“

“tae-“

“-i just wanna know!!!! i just wanna know what’s going on in that duMb ol head of yours because one minute you’re cuddled up to me and the next you’re acting like i’m crawling with germs oR one minute you’re calling me tae-tae and feeding me chicken because i’m too lazy to feed myself and the next minute you-“

“kim taehyung!!!!!!!”

“what?!” tae stops in his tracks and whiPs around to face you

he’s surprised to see that you’re looking at him with the softest smile on your face

there’s a little twinkle in your eye as you take a step towards him

“i think… this is the part where you’re supposed to kiss me.”

the frown fades from tae’s face

wait what

you

you want him to kiss you?

does this mean…

well now he feels a little silly

you should’ve saiD something before he went off on his angry rant about how much he haTes that he likes you

taehyung clears his throat “…sorry, what was that?”

you let out a sigh and roll your eyes before reaching out and grabbing onto the collar of tae’s t-shirt and pulling him towards you

your nervous happiness transitions to a giddy excitement as you press your lips against his

this kiss is definitely veRy different compared the one you shared last night

more sweet

more loving

your guys’ mouths meld together so perfectly it almost seems like you guys were made for each other and damNit you can taste that obnoxiously sweet strawberry gum on his lips

tae’s arm snakes around your waist and his palm presses against your jaw as he tilts your head up

you feel like you could float up to the sky like a balloon if it weren’t for his grip on you

his lips are insistent and he parts for a brief second before going back in for another kiss

he tilts his head a bit juSt so he can press a tiny bit harder and you giggle when his nose nudges against yours

it feels like sparkles are just blinking everYwhere around the two of you

tae smiles softly as he pulls away and up this close you’re able to see the golden flecks in his brown irises twinkling like little tiny stars

“does this mean i can drink straight out of the orange juice carton now?” tae hums and brushes a strand of your hair back gently

you purse your lips in thought

“…we’re going to have to talk about that one.”

so yeah

out of all the people in the world to get stuck with

kim taehyung really isn’t all that bad.

[widthofmytongue]

Pass the happy! 💐 When you get this, reply with 5 things that make you happy and send to the last 10 people in your notifications.

(Why is it that I am swallowing my pride with an ask? 😜)

I did one of these ages ago, and while I think those answers still hold, why not give five new answers, right!

1. My animal buddies. They are hugely important to me and give me so much joy and uhhhhhh serenity. Or something. They give me life. I spend less time with my chickens these days than I used to, but whenever I do interact with them, or even when I just see them out the window, it brings a smile to my face. And my cats are like a wellspring of more comfort and elation than I can put into words. We adopted a new cat only a few months ago, and she's doing so well! And we’re getting more chickens in a few months too! I'm very excited!

2. Coffee. I consider coffee a great luxury. It is not a staple. I do not drink it merely for the caffeine. I have a revolving coffee subscription, and every batch is from a small producer and very different. My morning coffee is often the highlight of my day, which I could see in a pessimistic way like ‘it’s all downhill from there’, but firstly, it’s not all downhill from there, and secondly, I often find myself looking forward to tomorrow because of this positive association I have with morning coffee, which is saying a lot for someone with a history of depression. I also really, really like tea.

3. Assassin's Creed. This functions as a placeholder for popular media I consume in general, but particularly video games. As many of my followers may recall, I wrote my masters dissertation on video games. This is an important form of media and I take it, and my consumption of it, very seriously. But also Assassin’s Creed is cool and fun and I wish I’d started playing the series years ago. I honestly enjoy exploring renaissance Italian city states (especially those I've been to in real life) far more than striking from the shadows to topple despotic machinations, if I'm honest. But every facet of these games is absolutely top notch, from the story, to the design, to the settings, to the metatextuality.

4. I'm in pre-production on a webcomic. I don’t know if I’ll get it off the ground, because the artist and friend with whom I’m collaborating is a stoner and has been in the process of setting up his digital art studio for like months at this point, but my enthusiasm hasn’t waned. Feel free to ask more; I could ramble about it for ages. It’s a scifi comedy about a starship crew. The main themes are found families, proletarian solidarity, diasporic identity, cultural relativism. You know, infinite diversity in infinite combinations. I hope to share it with you, dear reader, one of these days...

5. (Connecting with others via) Tumblr. I mean, I don’t wanna be too mushy, but this (hell)site has become very important to me. It has helped me a great deal with my gender affirmation, provided a vital outlet for my Jewish identity, and reenvigourated my leftist praxis. I have also made contact with many lovely folks whom I now hold quite dear. Plus it’s overflowing with adorable animals, lovely landscapes, and super hot eroticised bodies. And after all, community is resistance. Or in the words of Audre Lorde, such 'is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.'

Thanks for including me!

[ceruleanwhore]

Let’s talk about LoK’s shit worldbuilding

Technology is what I’ve seen the most people the most opinionated about, so that’s where I’ll start. Plenty of people out there share my opinion that having LoK be set in basically the American 20s is just some really shitty worldbuilding but I’ve also encountered plenty more who are of the opinion that since it’s technically possible, that means it’s good. For those who aren’t aware: just because something is technically possible does NOT make it good. AtLA is set in a more traditional fantasy world with a hard magic system where the setting, character design, and everything else are meant to feel older (even though this time it isn’t modeled after Europe). There is some technology in AtLA and what is shown works with the nature of their world and their society so it isn’t like, say, a lamppost from England being dropped right into this little fantasy world and disrupting things. The trains in Ba Sing Se are a perfect example of this with how they are operated by benders and also fit, visually, with the surrounding buildings and whatnot.

The issue with LoK is that it seems that there was no real thought around the development and incorporation of new technology in the context of the world. Instead, it’s as though they copied and pasted the American 20s in there and it’s really jarring. This would be the part where I said that just because it’s possible doesn’t mean it’s good writing- just because our industrial revolution was at breakneck speed doesn’t mean that having your fantasy world develop the same way is a good idea. For a little context, let’s compare this to the Lord of the Rings. Imagine that Christopher Tolkien one day decided to write a whole new four part series set a century after the end of Return of the King. So now, seemingly out of nowhere, boom, technology. Minas Tirith is basically 1920s Chicago, they have cars and stuff. And the thing is that there was a little bit of technology in LotR, just like with AtLA, so that is a fair comparison. 

Also, like I said earlier, it feels lazy with how they’re just throwing in some of these different types of technology. For example, a glove that electrocutes people with no explanation whatsoever on how it works doesn’t make sense. Not to mention, the fact that anything relies on lightning bending, which is SUPPOSED to be super fucking rare (more on that later) is beyond stupid. 

I think this reflects an ongoing issue with Korra where they clearly think that they should be trying to make things more “realistic” but either don’t realize or don’t care that in the process they’re wrecking that ‘fantasy’ feel their world used to have, which brings us to our next topic: people.

Just like how they decided to go the ‘realism’ route with a breakneck industrial revolution, they also decided to go that same route with homosexuality and, more importantly, homophobia. Friendly reminder that if you’re writing fantasy and you spice it some with some good, wholesome gay content, you DO NOT have to ruin it with fucking homophobia. It’s supposed to be fantasy, you dense fuck. It has its own problems but the Dragon Prince is an absolutely perfect example of how to write gayness in fantasy, i.e., perfectly common with zero homophobia to be seen. Writing it like Bryke did just to double down on “it’s been like 90 years since the war ended but did you know the Fire Nation is fucking TERRIBLE and Sozin is basically HITLER?” is weak, stupid, and fucking annoying.

The other thing I want to touch on is race. Basically, put whoever you want in your story and have them look however you want them to look but keep in mind that the way you do or do not introduce groups of people can affect the quality of your writing. What I mean is that with a fantasy universe like this, it’s all wysiwyg. When the gaang traveled around *the world* meeting and interacting with all kinds of people from all kinds of places in all 3 remaining nations (and showing memories of the air nomads that are now gone), that’s your chance to showcase all that wonderful diversity. By the end of the series, when their tour of the whole world is over, you should have a complete picture. 

Again, think about LotR for a second. By the end of Return of the King, you’ve encountered all the different types of men that ever existed in any of Tolkien’s writings (kinda sorta including the dunedain, and there’s even a reference or two in there with Aragorn tying that in all nicely), multiple kinds of elves, dwarves, goblins, hobbits, ents, huorns, the eagles, Tom Bombadil and Goldberry, the Nazgul, and multiple maiar (some good, some corrupt). The only race that hasn’t appeared in any of this that does exist in Tolkien’s other works is the valar but, otherwise, you, as the reader, along with characters like Frodo have been introduced to each and every race in middle earth, and, frankly, the Valar can be excused because they all are in the Undying Lands (plus Manwe might have been mentioned with the eagles.) Now, compare that to LoK where, with a Rowling level of retconning, they decided to just add some more races out of nowhere with no explanation 90 years or whatever after the original series. 

I just know that, for myself, I would’ve loved to see all this included from the beginning and incorporated into the original series and the travels of the gaang. Instead, we have it so AtLA is pretty set one way and then in LoK there’s just that one random dude with an afro and then, going into the comics afterwards, they decided to start incorporating different races in a way that feels like a JK Rowling tweet (“Hermione was black all along, even though I described her in the books as having light skin and picked a white actress to play her, I swear!”) So, basically, when you’re writing fantasy, you kind of have to include everything like that because that’s how the genre works and it’s not like in normal fiction where you can just have a black character without any explanation. Once again, the difference between how fantasy writing works and things being “realistic”.

As for realism, yanking the white lotus out into the open by their ear like an errant child is so unspeakably dumb and unrealistic. They’re a SECRET society who transcend the four nations and operate in SECRET jfc. After the war ended and the old folks home was no longer fighting the Fire Nation, the rest of them should’ve been able to go back into hiding no problem. But to drag their asses into this mess just to make them like Korra’s personal bodyguards and guards at high security prisons is so fucking stupid it hurts.

So then, to finish this up, let’s talk about bending. First off, there’s the issue of how bending forms have just… ceased to exist and/or been replaced with vague yet aggressive punching. Remember when Katara had to learn all those water bending stances and there was even a scroll of them? Or when Aang had to learn fire bending forms from Zuko? Well fuck that, now everyone can just punch at stuff instead. Never been able to airbend even with what should be proper form? Try waving your fist around!

The other thing is how so many of these characters are just “so naturally gifted” and can either successfully bend well with little to no experience or casually do stuff that’s supposed to be hella difficult. An example of the first point is Zaheer who just got his airbending like 3 days prior but suddenly can fucking fly and an example of the latter would be the blood bending, just all of it. That’s kind of another thing, though, how they’ve taken these things that were special and notoriously difficult and then watered them down and made it so literally everyone can do it. You know how lightning bending was a really cool thing only Ozai and Azula, the Fire Lord and princess who are both also known to be especially skilled benders, could do? Not anymore, now pretty much any fire bender with a pulse can shoot lightning out of their fingers. Same goes for blood and metal bending.

Also, can I just say that I’m mad at how pro bending was done? The earth bending stuff with the Boulder and all that worked because that framework of wrestling is really well suited to the element. Now, it’s what I’ve been saying where it’s like ‘oh yeah we can just put all the elements together in this boxing type shit because everyone in this fucking series can bend by punching, right?’ They had an awesome opportunity here to figure out different styles of fighting sports tailored to the different types of bending and they said ‘nope, fuck you’ and gave us that shit. Or just sports, in general, based around if the people playing and benders and, if so, what type of bending they have.

The last main thing with bending though is the absolute horseshit of harmonic convergence and kinda just season 2 in general. For starters, Korra getting her bending back because dead Aang was like “here ya go” was bullshit. I feel like it would’ve been better if that had been when Unalaq got introduced as her spiritual guide and, through working with him, she eventually was able to reach Wan, see his whole backstory like we got in episode 7, and then, afterwards, she could contact Raava directly and somehow with her get her bending back. Then, afterwards, she could go back to Republic City and give everyone their bending back and start helping with reconstruction from Amon. Season 2 doesn’t need a villain and it most certainly does NOT need that dumbass ‘dark avatar’ bullshit. 

Also, in terms of the air bending, seriously, fuck that shit. If air bending is going to come back then maybe, I don’t know, after following my other advice have Korra realize that not only can she take bending away (like Aang) but she can also give it so she could just go around to all the acolytes and make them airbenders. Or, if that would fuck up the balance or some shit, have her go around and make all the people who lost their bending to Amon into a fresh batch of air benders. You can’t really introduce something like energy bending and then expect us to believe that the only way to bring air bending back is for Aang to fuck a lot and then rely on following generations and subsequent incest, plus hc is fucking stupid when you have a character who can straight up just give people bending.

Oh and all that convergence shit brings up my last point of discussion, the way they retconned and fucked up the lore. Just like with what they did with lightning, blood, lava, and metal bending, they also decided to just do everything they could with those fucking turtles. Just like with Azula’s lightning bending, the entire fucking reason the lion turtle works so well is because of how it is so rare and special and all that so once you take that away, it doesn’t matter anymore smh. For most peope, champagne is special. You know why? Because most of us aren’t out here drinking the shit by the gallon every day. So yeah, between that and the way they threw away already established lore (that was further reinforced by experiences of characters in the show) makes it just a big old “yike”. All they had to do was fanagle a bit to keep Raava and Vaatu but ditch the whole hc shitshow and just maintain the parts that are already established.

[the-wlw-cafe]

Supercorptober 2020 - Day 2: Baking

Read it on ao3 here!

After weeks of trying to confess her feelings to Lena before Valentine's Day and chickening out at the last minute Kara decides that maybe she can't trust herself to get the words out right, and maybe a different strategy is in order. They do say that love goes through the stomach, right? There's only one snag in the perfect plan: Lena insists on helping her best gal pal and isn't taking no for an answer.

“I heard you’re stress baking.”

Kara let out an inelegant squeak of surprise as she heard the voice from behind her, dropping her wooden spoon into her bowl of sad, lumpy batter.

“Lena! You’re not supposed to – how did you – why are you here?”, she stuttered, desperately shifting around the kitchen, trying to hide the incriminating evidence behind her back. It was an exercise in futility as every flat surface of the room was covered in either ingredients, used utensils or the several batches of cupcake prototypes she’d already gone through.

“Well, you did give me a key to your apartment, and when Alex called me to inform me of the cupcake related breakdown you were having I thought it as good an excuse as any to check up on you.”

“She’s a traitor”, Kara huffed. She’d downright begged Alex not to tell Lena about her feelings, no matter how much her sister called her a useless bisexual who needed to grow a pair and tell her best friend she’s been crushing on her for years now. Alex was right, of course. But Kara had to tell Lena in her own time, in her own way, and her own way just happened to involve heart shaped cupcakes on Valentine’s Day. Was it cheesy? Maybe. Absolutely. But was it Kara’s last resort after finding herself absolutely tongue tied whenever she tried to bring up the subject of her feelings in front of Lena? Most definitely. Besides, Kara was sure the best way to the heart was by way of the stomach anyway.

“Traitor or not, she means well”, Lena said. She let her gaze wander demonstratively slowly over the chaos residing in the kitchen. “So, what’s brought this bout of stress baking on?”

“I’m not stress baking”, Kara said, sounding a lot more petulant than she wanted to, “I’m just...stressed while baking.”

Lena’s eyebrows shot up, and by the way the corner of her mouth twitched it was clear she was fighting a smile. Kara wished she wouldn’t fight it at all, the sight of Lena smiling was sweeter and more addicting than sugar to her.

“Looks like you might need a helping hand”, Lena offered.

“No – Nope, I’m doing good. Great. Stellar!” Kara internally cringed at her desperate attempt to sound casual.

“Stellar, hm?”, Lena purred, dragging her pointer finger over the charred top of one of her more pitiful attempts, smirking when it left a sooty black residue on her skin. Kara could feel herself deflate at the sight.

“I swear I’m not usually that useless of a baker”, she sighed, unsure of who she wanted to convince more, Lena or herself. “It’s just...I keep getting distracted practising what I’m going to say in my head, and by the time I snap back to reality I notice that I’ve been sifting salt into the batter, or I’ve left the cupcakes in the oven for literal hours.”

“So we are at the detailed imagining of future conversations stage of anxiety already? Sounds like you really do need my help after all.”

Kara made a helpless sound, somewhere between a whine and a groan. She did need help, that part was true, but she’d rather take it from Snapper Carr than Lena, and threaten to ruin her entire scheme to ask her best friend out.

“Oh come on, Kara, just because I’m rich doesn’t mean I’m useless in the kitchen. In fact, reliable sources have told me that I’m very good with my hands”, she grinned, her smirk widening as Kara choked on thin air once the implicit meaning of the words caught up to her.

“It’s not that”, Kara whined, “It’s just that they’re for -”, she broke off, gesticulating wildly, hoping to somehow convey the meaning of please don’t make me give myself away more.

Lena’s brows furrowed at this, she blinked once, twice, before the confusion cleared away.

“Oh.” Kara swore she could see Lena’s face falling for just a fraction of a second, before she flashed her her brilliant smile again. It didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“I didn’t realise it was so close to Valentine’s Day. I’ve made a habit of ignoring it, between my family ties and my sordid history with my exes I’ve pretty much resigned myself to eternal singlehood.” She awkwardly patted Kara’s biceps. It was a short, fleeting gesture, nothing like the tender touches they usually shared – no wonder Alex had been convinced they’d been secretly dating for months before Kara confided in her about her crush. Lena’s voice dropped some of the forced cheerfulness. “I am truly sorry if I intruded, and if you really want me gone, I’ll leave.”

“No!”

The word had left her lips before Lena had even finished her sentence.

“Please stay”, she added, softer, awkwardly fiddling with the rim of her glasses and leaving a trail of batter on her face.

“That’s what friends are for”, Lena said in a sing-song voice, a few octaves too high to be casual.

“So, won’t you tell me who they’re for?”, Lena asked, her voice strangely stilted, as she methodically cleared away some clutter to create a better work space.

“Um…”, Kara squeaked, desperately pottering around the kitchen stalling for time while trying to devise a way to answer Lena’s question to her satisfaction without revealing everything.

“Kara, hey, look at me.” Lena gently took both of Kara’s hands in hers.

“You don’t have to tell me if you’re not comfortable. I understand completely.”

A silence between them stretched, tense, borderline uncomfortable, and there were so many things Kara wanted to say to break it, among them thank you for always having my back no questions asked and I’m always comfortable around you and I think I’m in love with you. What instead came out of her mouth was: “I got batter on your hands.”

Lena blinked at her, dumbfounded, before her gaze dropped down to her hands that were indeed sticky with batter.

“Well”, Lena said, seemingly glad for the distraction, “I’ve been told eating more batter than finished cupcake is an essential part of the baking experience.”

And just like that, she lifted one of her hands to her mouth, a pink tongue darting out to lick them clean and, oh, this was a fresh kind of torture. Hearing a tell-tale crack, Kara quickly hid the remnants of the crushed wooden spoon she’d been holding behind her back, a flush of embarrassment creeping across her cheeks that only worsened when she saw Lena’s face contort with the effort of hiding blatant disgust at the taste.

“Oh, golly, Lena, I forgot to tell you – I might have mixed up sugar and salt for this particular try.”

Honestly, Kara shouldn’t be surprised that baking with Lena is so much easier. Despite her nervousness around the CEO, everything just seemed to be a bit lighter with her around, all the worries, expectations and guilt seemed to weigh a little less heavy on her. Kara only hoped that she could just repay an inch of that kindness, make Lena feel a fraction of the comfort Kara felt around her.

It took two more tries, one of them ruined because Lena had to stretch to get a new packet of vanilla extract off the top shelf even though Kara told her she could have just floated up to get it, but her protest had died in her throat when Lena’s shirt had ridden up just so, and, well. After she was done wiping the sugar-and-egg mixture off the kitchen floor Kara had gained a new understanding of what Alex meant when she called her a useless bisexual.

Still, they came out with a tray of perfectly acceptable cupcakes, chocolate flavoured and dotted with perfectly kitschy pink sugar hearts. And sure, maybe they weren’t Paul-Hollywood-Handshake worthy, but Kara felt reasonably secure in the assumption that he at least wouldn’t refuse to try them.

Lena had pointedly avoided asking her about the recipient of the sugary goods.

They looked down at their work, Kara absent-mindedly wiping her hands on the sides of her jeans (she’d long since given up on keeping her clothes clean).

“Look at it”, Kara gushed, “we did it!”

Lena shot her a tired smile, stubbornly avoiding eye contact. “Your valentine would be a fool to reject you.”

Oh. Yes. Kara had almost forgotten, and just like that, her nerves were back, fluttering in her stomach like a panicked hummingbird. She wasn’t sure what she was fearing, exactly, she knew that even if her feelings weren’t reciprocated Lena wouldn’t be cruel about it. It would be awkward, of course, and maybe she’d need some space, but Kara had absolute trust in the fact that their friendship was stronger than that. There’d always be a them. Kara’s eyes flickered over to the alarm clock displayed on her oven. It was already past midnight, she hadn’t even noticed the time passing so quickly while Lena was here.

She had to do it. She had to do it now, before she got the chance to overthink it.

“So...technically, it’s already Valentine’s day.”

Lena gawked at her.

“Kara, please tell me you’re not seriously considering showing up at your valentine’s house in the middle of the night.”

“Not technically, no”, Kara began.

“Not technically? Darling, I know you’re a catch but I think nobody would be glad to be woken so late at night, not even by you holding a tray of – Kara?”

Since words had obviously failed her, Kara had resorted to actions, taking the most delicious looking cupcake of the batch and holding it out to her.

“Do you want me to try them?”

“No, I want you to have them.”

Lena’s head snapped up, wide green eyes meeting Kara’s. Her superhearing wouldn’t let her ignore the miniscule gasp the CEO let out, and the breathy “Kara…” that followed.

And just like that, Kara couldn’t hold the anxious ramble back anymore.

“I mean, I know they’re nothing special and I could have just flown to your favourite boulangerie in Paris and gotten you the buttered chocolate croissants you love so much even though you won’t admit it -”

“Kara.”

“- but that would be so easy for me, it’s just a matter of seconds, and I wanted to show you that you’re worth more, that you’re worth the effort-”

“Kara.”

“-and I know I’m not the best baker and I’ve let you do all the hard work but I really, really wanted to surprise you-”

“Kara!”

“Hm?”

“Darling, you’re squishing your cupcake.”

With another hot rush of embarrassment Kara realised it was true, she’d completely crushed her gift in her hand.

“Gosh, Lena, I’m so sorry, I’m doing this all wrong!”

“I wouldn’t say that”, Lena purred, picking up a piece of squished cupcake with pointed fingers and popping it in her mouth. “See? Still good.”

“You like it?”, Kara asked, bouncing on her toes with barely contained excitement.

“Hmm, I don’t know”, Lena drawled, but her voice held no bite, only affection and playfulness. “I think I need a second taste.”

Before Kara could react, Lena had leaned forward and without breaking eye contact she started licking the chocolate icing off Kara’s fingers deliberately slowly. Kara had to cling onto the counter, as her knees had suddenly become wobbly.

“Rao, Lena, you can’t just do that!”

Lena pulled back, mirth twinkling in her stunning eyes, one eyebrow raised in challenge.

“I don’t see you stopping me.”

Kara had made the mistake of letting her gaze drift down to Lena’s full, red lips, and now she found that it was a thing of impossibility to avert her eyes again, transfixed by the way Lena’s tongue darted out to wet them.

“You’ve got chocolate on...at the corner of your mouth”, Kara muttered. It was a paper thin excuse.

“Is that so? Could you be a dear and get it for me?”

Kara did.

[randomoranges]

Home is Where the Heart Is

hey hi hello do you like soft canon with hurt?

  the saga continues of étienne’s adventures in edmonton. had this idea since this summer. lol.

end october/beginning november 2020

Edward scans the crowd and tries to keep his nerves under control. He makes sure he isn’t too close to others, while still maintaining contact with the arrivals doors. Étienne should be arriving any moment now. In fact, his plane has landed, therefore, with every new batch of people who walk through the doors; Étienne could be one of them.

 He checks his phone for what is surely the fiftieth time in the past three minutes, but he finds no new messages other than the one from his boyfriend letting him know that “the bird has landed.” Edward fixes his mask and follows a person who walks out, thinking it might be Étienne, but it’s not.

 The reason he’s here started towards the beginning of the month of September. He’d been enjoying his video call with Étienne, something they did once every two days or so after he’d gone back home, when Étienne had grown quiet.

 “Were you serious?” He’d asked and Edward had wondered what exactly Étienne was alluding to, “When you said I could come over whenever – were you serious?” He’d reiterated.

 “Of course. Whenever you want. Hell, you could even be on the way to the airport at the moment. You could even already be in Edmonton.” He’d wondered if Étienne was concocting some trip and had dared to hope that he’d be seeing his boyfriend sooner rather than later.

 He’d meant it. Étienne could surprise him on his doorstep with little to no warning and he’d be happy to have him over.

 Summer had been – kind to Étienne, but not in its usual ways. It was a good thing it had been a hot summer, at least Étienne had been able to enjoy the outdoors, but – Edward had seen the toll of the pandemic on his boyfriend’s face. Had seen the dark circles that had made a comeback and had listened to the change in Étienne’s song from determined and hopeful to pessimistic and downtrodden.

 And of course, now things seemed to be getting worse again.

 Étienne was at wits ends.

 Étienne is at wits ends.

 “I don’t know what to do anymore, Ed,” He’d said. “Every time I go out – there’s a new place that’s closed down. How are the others going to make it? What’s going to be left of the city once this is all over? What’s going to be left of me? It’s like no one cares! Everything we did for naught! And then there’s those who say it’s a joke or a hoax. Yet I can’t even have my fucking sister over anymore – again. I can’t. I go grocery shopping and I fucking panic thinking maybe I’m going to infect someone, because what if it’s on me and I just don’t know because I can’t even fucking die properly.”

 He looked manic. Wild and scared and desperate.

 Edward had been – worried.

 Edward always worried. He always worries. He still worries. He worried by nature, but – he worried for Étienne in a different way.

 He knows of Étienne’s troubles – knows how his mood dips and changes and peeks and crests and falls straight through and he knows how personally he takes every single problem that afflicts the city, as though he’s responsible for the decision of millions.

 Edward had feared this – had feared that Étienne would spiral back out to how he’d been in April, but now he thinks he’d prefer the manic busy version of Étienne to this more lethargic and angry one.

 Edward had tried to be reassuring. Said that he’d be fine – he’d managed. It would be tough, yes, but – Étienne was like a phoenix, somehow found ways to rise again from the ashes. He’d reinvent himself if he needed to, but – Étienne hadn’t been so sure, still felt as though he hadn’t fully recovered from the original reinvention.

 Edward had fallen quiet to that.

 “D’you think I can come over again? For a bit. Maybe through to the New Year – I don’t know. I just – the weather’s gonna change for the worst again and – I don’t – I know how I am – in the winter – on a good year. I don’t think – I don’t trust myself going through winter alone during a pandemic.” He’d looked away from the screen after that admission. Had chewed on his bottom lip and had fisted his hands into Mercury’s fur.

 Edward’s heart had broken hearing those words. He’d wished he could find a way to enter Étienne’s head and right it once and for all. Fix whatever it was that made him feel this way day in and day out. No one deserved this, least of all Étienne.

 He consoled himself with the fact that Étienne was reaching out – that he was asking for help – that he wasn’t shutting himself further into his dark mood and dealing with it “on his own.” He’d seen how that ended up far too many times to want to live through it again.

 “Of course – like I said, you can come here whenever you want. I want you here.” Edward felt it was best to repeat these words as often as he could, in the hopes that Étienne would stop second-guessing himself over them.

 “I have work though. I have online classes, grading, and assignments to look over.” He’d said as though he was giving Edward reasons to tell him not to come and stay home in his infected hell hole.

 “That’s okay. I have work as well. We’ll make a schedule and work around it. I’ll clear out a desk for you that you can use. You can have the guestroom as your own study.”

 It was the logical thing to say. Whatever it was Étienne needed. It wasn’t complicated.

 “Are you sure?” Étienne had finally asked.

 “Of course, sweetheart. I’m always sure when it comes to you.”

 It was a little sappy, but – it was all very true.

 Étienne nodded at that, as if he couldn’t find the words to go with the action.

 “You realise though that it’ll be cold. It gets cold here earlier than it does at yours. And I mean negative weather and snow before Halloween.”

 Étienne had grimaced at that and Edward had laughed. The last thing he wanted was for Étienne to arrive in a windbreaker and then have an even worst time with the weather.

 “I don’t care. Summer’s over. It’s already getting cold. I just – I need to – I need to be around people – someone. I can’t take this anymore. I can’t.”

 Edward had read the panic in those green-brown eyes, had read the fear and the loneliness that threatened to swallow him whole and – Edward had needed a moment to still his own nerves. He hadn’t seen that look on Étienne’s face in far too long and it was one he’d hoped he’d never see again.

 “That’s fine. When will you be arriving?”

 “I don’t know – I’m still figuring out when I’ll leave. There’s still a few things I need to do here.”

 “Keep me posted?” Part of him feared Étienne would do something stupid between now and then, but he consoled and reminded himself that despite everything, Étienne was in a better place now and was being treated for this. This wasn’t like before.

 “Yeah. I’ll talk to you soon.”

 That had been that and now here he is, summer officially done and over, waiting for Étienne to arrive. They’d spoken late last night and Edward hadn’t liked the way his boyfriend had sounded. Out of it, was one way of describing it, but – it almost felt as though – as if Étienne was giving up. As if he’d lost his last shred of hope.

 He can’t let that happen.

 Étienne is too important for that.

 Therefore, Edward takes a deep breath, counts to ten and then twenty and finally fifty and focuses on the task at hand.  With Calvin now back in Calgary as well, he figures this will give him a proper chance to do some real damage control on Étienne.

 Despite everything, he still smiles and feels extremely excited when he finally spots both Étienne and Mercury making their way towards him. He sees Étienne pause and give a careful look around, but even with the masks, he can still tell that Étienne smiles when he sees him as well.

 Étienne picks up his pace and walks over to him and Edward meets him half way, opening his arms up so that Étienne can step into them.

 “Hi you,” He says and holds Étienne close to him. Étienne looks a little worse for wear, but if anything, his visit in April had prepared Edward for this and so the shock isn’t as big, even if the pang in his heart is just the same. He feels Mercury excitedly jump up on his leg and he marvels at how big she’s gotten since she’d last been here. He’ll greet her properly in a bit, but for now he holds onto Étienne and presses a masked kiss to the side of his face.

 “Eddy,” Étienne breathes into the crook of his neck and it feels as though Étienne’s just discharged some of the weight he’d been carrying on his shoulders since he’d gone back home. As if now that he’s here, he can let go a bit and give the reigns over to Edward to help him look after himself.

 It takes Edward a moment to realise that Étienne is shaking in his arms and he holds him closer still and rubs his back. “It’s okay, sweetheart, I’ve got you.” He holds him for a moment longer, holds him until Étienne stops shaking and gets a hold of himself, holds him until Étienne straightens himself out and steps out of the embrace.

 “Missed you,” Étienne says as he picks the handle of his suitcase. Edward takes the moment to greet Mercury and she seems quite happy to see him as well. She still has growing to do, but she’s no longer the tiny puppy that had made the first trip out west at the start of spring.

 “Missed you more. Ready to go home?”

 Étienne nods and Edward laces their hands together as they make their way towards the truck.

 It’s a mostly silent walk and Étienne makes one comment about the weather, which makes Edward laugh. Étienne already looks like he’s dressed for winter and by the looks of the two suitcases he brought along, his entire winter wardrobe seems to be here with him as well.

 Edward takes the long walk to the truck, if only to give Mercury a chance to stretch her legs. They take off their masks after realising that they’d both kept them on out of habit and once they’re at the truck, Edward pulls Étienne for a much sought after kiss.

 “Missed you,” Edward reiterates as he caresses the sides of Étienne’s face. His boyfriend offers him a kind, if tired smile and Edward still thinks he’s one of the most beautiful people he’s ever met.

 “Missed you more,” Étienne parrots back, before he hugs him again. “Thanks again for – everything.”

 Edward gives his hand a squeeze and then opens the door for him.

  There’s hand-sanitizer in the truck they both use and Edward tries to keep the conversation going as he drives back home, but Étienne ends up falling asleep once more halfway through. He lets him, knowing Étienne never seems to get around the right amount of sleep and he lets Élyse know he’ll take good care of Étienne once they’re home.

 Mercury trots off to re-explore his house and so Edward helps Étienne with his luggage, helps him to the door and helps undress him afterwards, unpeeling each layer as they make their way towards Edward’s bedroom and they reacquaint themselves with one another with kisses and touches that make Étienne feel just a little bit more alive. It’s heady and messy and needy, but the end result is the same and Edward holds Étienne close as he cards his fingers through his hair with one hand, and traces lazy patterns on his arm with the other.

 Étienne seems a little more peaceful as he snuggles close and presses the occasional kiss to Edward’s chest. It’s as if – he feels safe here, in Edward’s arms and Edward hopes and wishes that he can always provide this solace for him.

 “Your hair’s gotten long,” He remarks as he holds up a perfect curl. He twines it around his finger before releasing it and watches with wonder as it springs back to its original form. Étienne’s hair had already been getting long during his last visit, but now that he could see his hair in person, Edward could really tell. It keeps flirting with Étienne’s shoulder and Edward thinks it’s a good look on him.

 “Yeah... never got around to booking a haircut when they reopened and then I kinda – I kinda like it actually. Thought I’d let it grow some and see what it looks like....” He’s careful with his answer, Edward can tell from the way he looks at him and then away. Étienne tucks a strand behind his ear out of reflex and Edward smiles softly.

 “It looks good. It suits you.”

 It really does. In all the years Edward has known him, he’s never seen Étienne with super long hair. Étienne had even been – sensitive about it and after Edward had found out why, he understood. This is a nice change, despite the reason behind it, and Edward hopes it means that if anything, Étienne is slowly making peace with that.

 “Yeah, you think so?”

 Edward nods. “Yeah, I really like it.”

 Étienne grins, a little quiet thing as he resettles against him, “I haven’t had it super long in – over forty years. Forgot how good it looked,” He says, normal like anything and Edward silently thrills.

 “It looks very good. I’m all for you experimenting with it and letting it grow.”

 Étienne offers him a smile for his compliment and Edward stores it for the days where it’ll be hard to get a smile out of his boyfriend. He’d like to think there won’t be any, but with the way things are going and with winter coming up, he knows better.

 “Hey, I have a surprise for you,” He says instead before they can get too comfortable. Étienne gives him a curious look and protests when Edward jostles him so that he can get out of bed and put his boxers back on. “Come on, you’ll like this.”

 “Preferred the view I had moments before.” Étienne says as he slowly makes a grab for his own clothes and underwear. Edward rolls his eyes, fond, amused, and ever so endeared, and then walks his boyfriend to the guestroom.

 “Jeez, Édouard, if you were already done with me, you could’ve just said and I woulda made my own exile back to the guestroom.” Étienne teases as Edward pushes the door to the guestroom until it’s fully open.

 “Humour me, Curly,” Edward says and leads him further into the room. “I set everything up for you; desk, chair, light. I cleared it off so you can put your laptop on it. I moved the printer here, in case you have things to print – and, this,” He moves to the side and that’s when Étienne notices the very large and suddenly very noticeable wooden easel that had not been previously there this past spring, “Is a little something I thought you would appreciate.”

 Étienne blinks and blinks again. There’s an easel – a beautiful wooden thing that he’d never ever seen before just standing there as if waiting to be used. He walks up to it, as if in a trance and dares to touch it to make sure it’s real.

 “I know you like to make your own canvases and stretchers, so if you need any materials or whatever, I’ll drive you to the store.”

 Étienne turns back to Edward, walks back to him and lunges into his awaiting arms, as if his boyfriend had been expecting such a reaction.

 “You didn’t have to,” Étienne says as he fights back the tears that threaten to fall. It’s all too much. He doesn’t deserve all of this – doesn’t deserve Edward’s kindness and yet Edward still offers it to him as though it’s the most natural thing in the world.

 “I wanted to.” Edward tells him and figures he can let him know he’d made it himself later, before Étienne has an apoplexy over it. “I want you to feel comfortable here. You’re not just a passing houseguest – you’re my boyfriend. This is the very least I can do for you.”

 Étienne pulls him in for a kiss before Edward can say anything else that might make his heart jump out of his ribcage. “I love you,” He blurts out when they pull away for air. It’s the least he can do and say and he knows Edward likes hearing it. (He does too, really, but right now if Edward tells him he might just cry over everything.) (He’s still getting used to this – to having someone show him love and kindness so openly.) (There are still days when he wonders if this isn’t all some massive fever drug induced dream.) (He’s honestly glad it isn’t.)

 “My dearest Étienne, I love you too, never doubt it,” Edward tells him, cups his face in his nice warm hands, and offers him the kindest of smiles. Looks at him as though he’s something precious and worthwhile and there’s something inside of Étienne – some old shriveled thing that lives where his heart once was that dares to beat again.

 And Edward holds Étienne close, holds him again and then gently leads him back towards his bedroom so that they can lie together. He lets Étienne slowly come apart in his arms, rubs his back and twines their legs together and makes the silent promise that he’ll watch over Étienne and do his best so that Étienne doesn’t fall off the deep end again. He hopes and dares that despite everything, that winter will be kind to the both of them, but Edward knows that if anything, at least, they’ll be together.

 FIN