#given is not only a phenomenal bl

[thefage]

In the beginning of Given, Uenoyama talks about how it took him a while to be able to play the guitar how he wanted. Uenoyama plays a Fender '72 Custom Shop Telecaster. At first I did not know the significance of this line, but after having attempted to play a telecaster twice I can tell you that bitch does not make any of the sounds you want it to, nor that you would expect it to, and that line actually points to this fact and tells the audience exactly how skilled Uenoyama is on the guitar.

[lurkingshan]

The Miracle of Teddy Bear Saved the Gays

Last weekend, both @twig-tea and I had time off and were in the mood to binge something, so Twig suggested we finally watch The Miracle of Teddy Bear. Both of us had missed it while it was airing live (because it didn’t have international distribution) and had been given the impression by others that it had a sad ending that included some anti-queer messages. It was also very long, so we were not exactly rushing to get to it. But we are stubborn and like to judge things for ourselves, so we decided since we had the time and the show was now available, we should jump in. And imagine our surprise when we found out everything we had been told about it was wrong (we have our theories about why). This is one of the best queer dramas we have ever seen, with phenomenal acting, writing, and direction, and we have so much to say about it. The post that follows is co-written by the two of us. Strap in, folks, because it’s a long one.

If you haven’t seen this show yet and don’t want any spoilers, stop reading this right now and head over to YouTube, where international fans can now watch it for free with English subtitles. We’re going to go deep on the show below, and because this drama is designed to slowly reveal information in a very deliberate way, nearly everything counts as a spoiler. We’ll try not to give too much away in the early sections, but be warned!

The Story

The Miracle of Teddy Bear is the tale of a deeply traumatized gay man in desperate need of healing, and the teddy bear who comes to life to help him. In the process of taking care of his person, our bear uncovers deep family trauma and many secrets and lies, accidentally solves crimes, makes lots of friends, heals a family, and saves several lives. He is a very good bear, and through this adventure he contemplates his own existence, learns how to be human, and discovers what it means to truly love someone. 

This is primarily a family drama with important things to say about queer truth, and while it includes several bl storylines, it is not a romance. Intertwined with the family drama is a bl show within the show and a series of interrelated mysteries that slowly get unraveled as the story goes on. One of the things this show does best is parcel out information from various perspectives at the perfect time to keep the viewer one step behind—we found ourselves constantly almost guessing what the show was going to do next, but it always chose a direction a little to the left and surprised us in the best way. 

In the end, every question we asked was answered, and every time we thought a character’s motivation felt a little too shallow, we were given more. The experience of watching this show was deeply satisfying and really made us feel seen. This show gets us. 

The Characters

The Bear: Tofu

Tofu is the titular teddy bear who comes to life via drama magic and does his best to support his person. He starts the series incredibly innocent, and the show and his actor, Inn Sarin, do an incredible job of depicting the change in him as he lives life as a human, becoming more complex and less naive. Tofu is the heart of the show, and it is his love and kindness that enable the growth of the other characters in this story. 

The Core Family: Nut, Na, and Kuenchai

Nut is our protagonist, and his struggles with life as a gay man are the soul of this story. He lives with his mom, Na, and their dog, Kuenchai, and Tofu is his beloved teddy bear. Yes, Nut is a cranky ass grown man with a beloved teddy bear. It will make sense eventually, we promise. Nut is a bl novelist working through old trauma via adapting his work for the screen. Na is a woman who has been Going Through It, and while we start the story with only the vague sense that something is not quite right with her, we spend a lot of time on her history as well as her growth in the present until we get the full picture. The way Nut and Na’s stories are tied together gets to several of the core themes of this show (discussed more below). 

The Sides: Gen, Song, Prib, and the nosy neighbors

Our cast of friends and allies who support Nut and Tofu and have romantic trials and tribulations of their own. Without giving too much away, we’ll just say this: all of these characters have satisfying arcs, and some of them may have caused us to squeal in delight. 

Specters of the Past: Neung and Tarn

Telling you literally anything about them is a major spoiler so just know they are here and they are important and you will fully understand why and how by the end. Oh yeah, and Neung looks exactly like Tofu (or should we say Tofu looks like Neung?) for Reasons (which are explained! We love this show).

Villains: Saen, Sib, Jan, and Parit

Expect these four to show up often and cause a lot of trouble. Their motives and exact crimes are revealed over the course of the show.

Other Elders: Anik, Juea, Kanya and Sittha

They are mostly here to serve a few key plot functions and represent a spectrum of parental figures (related by blood and not) and acceptance of queerness.

And we cannot forget: The inanimate objects

In this show, inanimate objects can come to life under a certain set of magical conditions, and they are Tofu’s friends and helpers along the way. Some of their stories are shockingly touching! They also add some needed levity to the show, especially the grumpy ones. Special shoutout to the cactus and the spare blanket, our crime solving MVPs. We have to admit, the animation for these took a bit of getting used to, but within a couple of episodes we were cheering these creepy blinking eyes on. 

The Themes

And here is where we start to get into spoiler territory about specific character arcs. This show had so many clear and well-articulated themes, and they stayed consistent throughout the story.

Queer people can be happy

This is stated explicitly as well as demonstrated through multiple storylines: gay men can love each other, have good relationships and fulfilling sex lives, and get their happy endings. Those who argue that people should fight against their queerness because it will make their lives harder and keep them from happiness are not just wrong, they have it backwards. 

Queer people can only be happy by living their truth

This is perhaps the main thesis of this show, and it comes across in so many ways over the arc of the story. We see this theme exemplified in particular through Nut, Tarn, Song, and Gen, with each of them representing different versions of the queer experience that shape who they are and how they show up in the world. Even before the story tells you, it’s clear what kind of experiences each has had from his relationship to his own queerness and his general demeanor and outlook on life. Nut has survived an abusive homophobic father, and that shows up in his anger, his self-protective rejection of others, and his struggle with emotional regulation. Gen has been raised by loving and accepting parents who support his choices in all ways, and this shows in his good humor, balanced perspective, and confidence to be himself. When we say good media should show, don’t tell us its point, this is a fantastic example of what that means. 

Accept and love your queer children or pay the price

Relatedly, this story is very interested in the consequences for parents who fail their queer children, and explores a whole spectrum of acceptance from enthusiastic support to negligent ambivalence to misguided suppression to violent bigotry. We see so many different parents and parental figures react to learning about their gay sons and gain insight into them by how they respond—and only the ones who manage to get it together to love and support their kids get to keep their families. Critically, the adults who fail their queer children are convinced they’re acting in their best interests at the time, and we are along for the ride as the redeemable ones go through the stages of first admitting they were wrong but still thinking their intentions justify the pain they caused to fully acknowledging the damage they have done and making amends. 

Be patient with others, you never know what they’ve been through

That said, the show also invites us to stop and consider what might be behind aberrant behavior before judging it. Tofu is unfailingly patient with others, and even with the worst people in this story, he always seeks to understand why they are behaving a certain way before giving up on them. The show slowly and methodically reveals information that recontextualizes things we thought we understood and encourages us to keep digging for empathy and missing context. People in this story behave very badly and make a lot of mistakes, but a lot of it becomes more understandable once you have the full picture.

Unprocessed trauma will prevent you from healing and cause you to perpetuate harm on others

Speaking of bad behavior, so much of what’s wrong in this story is driven by unprocessed trauma of one sort or another. Nut’s anger is at its core a deep hurt from being betrayed by the person he trusted most to be on his side. Na’s refusal to live in reality causes her to continue to hurt herself and her son. Saen’s denial about his own actions leads to far-reaching consequences he could not imagine. And the healing process depicted in the show is not linear; people who have made mistakes in the series make them more than once and advance and regress as the situation around them changes. 

People are responsible for their own actions and inactions

And while the show is clear that trauma is the source of the bad behavior of these characters, it is also clear that this is not an excuse. Everyone in this story is held to account for the things they do, as well as the things they don’t, no matter how understandable their reasons are. The people who refuse to heal face serious consequences in addition to seeing the damage their unprocessed trauma causes others. 

Noble idiocy leads to everyone being unhappy

One of the biggest sources of said unprocessed trauma in this story is characters making self-sacrificial choices for the ostensible benefit of others and bringing misery to everyone in the process. We love a drama that recognizes noble idiocy for the selfish and destructive act it truly is and clearly says you have to communicate with your loved ones if you don’t want to make a mess of everyone’s lives.

You can’t appease an abuser

No amount of hiding who you are or making yourself small will convince an abuser to treat you better or guarantee your safety. This theme is most obvious in the main storyline between Nut, Sib, and Na, but Jan is another example of a manipulative and emotionally abusive character who other characters continually try to play nice with, to no avail. She takes every opportunity to be cruel, whether the person she’s talking to is kind or combative in return. The show reinforces that abusers will always find an excuse to justify their behavior; changing yourself for them is pointless. 

Love is wanting the best for someone, even if that means letting go 

This is really the show’s core point where romance is concerned: being with you may not actually be what is best for the person you love, and if your love is true you have to accept that. The people who could not see this—Saen and Jan—were the ones who continued to cause harm to their loved ones and themselves, while the characters who honestly worked towards the happiness of their beloveds even if that happiness was not with themselves—Tofu, Tarn, and eventually Prib—were rewarded by seeing that happiness play out and ended our story truly content. The MVP of this theme is Tofu, whose pure teddy bear love for his person became more complicated and selfish as he became more human. But in the end, he held to the truth at his core that Nut’s happiness was his happiness.

You can have more than one great love, and one doesn't tarnish the others

Which brings us to one of the most beautiful takeaways from this show, and something that dramas so rarely do well. Nut loves two different men, neither more than the other, and he never chooses between them. They both hold important meaning in his life and he honors that whether they are with him or not. When Nut is with Tofu, he remembers his past love with fondness but he is clear that these memories do not make his love for Tofu any less real. A lesser show would have had those moments where Nut was thinking about his past cause him to distance himself from Tofu. But in this show, Nut sharing his past and working through his lack of closure was when he and Tofu had some of their closest and happiest moments together. This show is extremely clear that we can have happiness with more than one person over the course of our lives, and it is not only okay but encouraged! 

The Resolution

From here, we will be talking about the ending, and so by necessity will no longer be avoiding major spoilers. If you’re intrigued by the above and want to avoid being spoiled fully, stop now! One of the things that is so brilliant about this show is the way information is slowly revealed, so if you think you would like this show we recommend experiencing it for yourself. If you’re still not convinced and need to know the ending before you decide, read on. 

In our view, this story ends exactly as the show signals it will from the very beginning—and the way it should—and the ending is unambiguously a happy one. Tofu realizes that he and Tarn’s life forces are tied together, that it was Tarn going into his coma that caused him to awaken, and that as long as he continues to live as a human, Tarn will not recover. We and the characters have come to love Tofu in his guise as a human, but the truth is he does not belong there—he is a teddy bear, and for him to stay by robbing an actual human being of their life would be wrong. The story took pains throughout to show us how tenuous and restricted Tofu’s existence is, because he is not a real person and thus can’t live a full life (for example, he can’t get a job or safely leave the house because he doesn’t have documentation or any life experience). We also see Tofu struggle so much with the added complexities of the human experience that he becomes ill with overwhelm multiple times. He repeats to us through the whole story that all he really wants is to be a comfort to Nut. While he finds value and joy in being human, it does not change who he is at his core. And so he allows himself to be poisoned by Jan, sacrificing his human existence to bring Tarn back and exposing Jan and Saen’s crimes in the process. 

With this decision, the other characters get the chance to mourn him and move on. Nut grieves, finally makes the connection between human and teddy bear Tofu, goes to therapy (!), makes peace with his mother, and writes his love story with Tofu as his next show. Tarn wakes up and begins his recovery, and he and Nut slowly reconnect and rekindle their relationship over time. Na finds joy in her lucid moments and enjoys time with her family, finally free of the hell Saen and Sib unleashed on her life. Gen and Song get their happy ending with acceptance from Song’s dad, and Prib’s fixation on gay men becomes clear when her new female love interest enters the scene (let’s go, lesbians!). We get confirmation that the nosy neighbors are, in fact, an elder gay couple. Even Kuenchai and some of the inanimate objects have character arcs! Kuenchai is instrumental in making sure Nut is reunited with bear Tofu, and we get to see a slipper gain some independence from her other half and a grumpy bolster cuddle in to comfort her people when they need it.

We end our story with several happy families who love their gay children and a call for marriage equality via Nut and Tarn deciding to marry whether it’s legal or not. Tofu is a bear again but his human life is very much not forgotten—Nut speaks to him every day, honors the love they shared, and talks about him openly with Tarn. And we even hear from Tofu again, see a final moment between him and Nut in a beautiful dream, and are reassured that Tofu is happy to still be with Nut in his original form and to see him living so well. It’s everything he wanted, and he made it happen. He truly is the very best bear.  

The Purpose

We wanted to take some space to get a little extra meta and talk about why this show matters so much in the broader queer media landscape. First, it was a landmark queer television event in Thailand—please read this post by @flowerbeasblog to get the background on its significance in the cultural landscape. This show was broadcast very intentionally to educate and send a message to a broader audience in Thailand than is typically reached via bl dramas. And that’s why understanding and taking its themes seriously is so very important.

This is a story that is deeply rooted in queer truth, written by a queer man who wants people like him to be seen and understood. The show puts forward an unapologetically pro-gay message on broadcast television (on a major national network! during primetime! that does not shy away from the sexual component of queer love!) and embeds important political commentary in a fantastic and engaging story in a format familiar and comfortable for the Thai audience. It’s not meant to be received as a romance, and its nuanced and mature take on love and relationships is certainly not designed for ship wars. The writer even turns directly to the camera and underlines this in the final episode: while he respects the importance of bl in the media landscape, he has a bigger agenda in mind for this show and important things to say.

And that’s why some of the discourse around this show is so frustrating. A small portion of international fans who watched this show live seemed to misunderstand it deeply and created such a false impression of it that it caused others to stay away. Contrary to some of the takes out there, this show does not have a sad ending, Tofu’s resolution is not remotely anti-queer, and there is no woman who ends up with Nut (we are so confused that this was anyone’s interpretation; Nut at every age and several times within the show explicitly shouts about how very extremely gay he is). To see this story as a tragedy because Tofu “dies”—which he doesn’t; his human body disappears but he returns to being a conscious and content teddy bear—is to misunderstand Tofu’s character journey, his narrative purpose, and his agency. We can only assume that shipping got in the way of comprehension here, and people who wanted to see human Tofu and Nut end up together focused on that to the exclusion of pretty much everything this show was saying and doing.

At the end of this story, Tofu is happy. To think that Nut was better off with Tofu than with Tarn is to not allow for the complexities of human experience; Nut did love Tofu, but he loved Tarn, too, and their relationship was a positive force in his life both before and after Tofu entered it. And Tarn was an actual gay human man in a coma who could not wake up while Tofu existed. Tofu was the creation of Tarn’s love for Nut; his existence was limited, and he found being a human extremely difficult. All Tofu wanted was to be Nut’s teddy bear and stay with Nut forever. He wanted Nut to be happy, because Tarn wanted Nut to be happy, and during his time as a human he worked to enable that happiness. He was instrumental in moving forward several stuck characters and uncovering many secrets, all of which were necessary for Nut to get to where he ends up at the end of the show. Being in a relationship with Nut was a bonus. He enjoyed the experience of being in love with Nut, but in the end he chose to sacrifice his human life so that Nut could have a permanent, lasting happiness with someone who was real. Tofu’s human death is not an example of the bury your gays trope; in fact, it is a total rebuke of it. Tofu, and this show, saved the gay men in this story and gave them full and happy lives. We cannot recommend watching and supporting this show enough.

[redtsundere-writes]

Jinx | Sukuna Ryomen

mmafigther!sukuna ryomen x femcoach!reader

Part 11. The Other One

Beginning. ← Previous | Next →

Sypnosis: Sukuna is a world champion with anger issues. It's believed by many that he is untrainable. Yeah, you can't train him, but you can dominate him. Contents: Fighting. Sukuna being Sukuna. Female reader being dom. Jinx AU (the BL, not the character from lol) Yuuji, Choso and Sukuna are brothers. Warnings: Cursed words. I only read it once lol Word Count: 4667 words. Author's Note: We are so close to the end. I already want to get to the grand finale, but I can only write one chapter at the time. uwu Thanks for all the support so far!

Btw I made a PLAYLIST

“Salmon or hake?” I wondered as I compared the two frozen fish. I was in the frozen section of the best supermarket in the city.  My exposed skin was cold by being exposed to the bed of ice and near the refrigerators full of snacks and fast foods. The nerves in my hands were beginning to tighten from holding the frozen packages for too long.

Ladies slowly dragging their carts through the white aisles, children crying to their mothers who already want to go home and the employees running from side to side behind me. The popular music framed my thoughts as I read the nutritional facts for each product, focusing on the grams of protein. Since I was in charge of cooking for Sukuna’s birthday, I had to choose the best products to make him the best dinner he ever had

Salmon has 20 grams of protein, 13 grams of fat and zero carbohydrates. In addition to its contribution of Omega-3, for high-performance athletes it is the ideal fish to eat, since it has a very good ratio of proteins and healthy fats. If I baked it in the oven, I was sure it would be delicious. The only problem? The famous mercury. Although, according to some studies, it is true that salmon is the fish that contains the least amount. Hake is usually its alternative, which has less fat, but the same or more amount of protein, also it digests better.

“Salmon has more potassium, selenium, and vitamin B12." A female voice interrupted my mental debate.

My eyes widened when I saw the beauty next to me. A thin and tall blonde woman. Her blonde hair was long and her bangs looked great on her. His thin eyebrows framed her big brown eyes. His tight-fitting black turtleneck shirt and high-waisted pants made her look phenomenal. It was like admiring a beautiful porcelain statue, you could easily get lost in the details of her person.

"Oh, thanks. Are you a nutritionist or something like that?” I asked curiously as I returned the hake to the bed of ice.

"I'm a jiu-jitsu coach. I never thought I would meet the Medusa Snake in a supermarket,” she joked.

I should have seen it before. Her physical build was magnificent for a jiu-jitsu fighter. Her arms were perfectly toned, and his long legs could knock down any rival with one kick. I started to envy her body.

"I was told you were Ryomen's coach, I see that you are… very close," she said as she looked directly at the bracelet that Sukuna had given me earlier this morning. That was strange.

"It is a complicated task, but I think that every day we understand each other more," I answered honestly.

"I wanted to be his coach, you know?” she told me as if nothing had happened.

Something in me set off a warning alarm. I could sense that this conversation had a double intention. Was she threatening my position? Did she know that I wouldn't be Sukuna's coach anytime soon? Was she just trying to have a nice conversation in the middle of the frozen section? She was a beautiful woman to admire, but I didn't like where this was going.

"Who are you?" I asked confused, completely breaking the flow of the conversation.

"My name is Yuki Tsukumo," she introduced herself with a smile. “This is the Yuki who sent the bracelet to Sukuna!” I thought, trying not to reflect surprise on my face, but I'm not sure if I did it. “I see he received my gift, it's a shame he didn't want to use it."

"Sukuna doesn't like receiving gifts, that's why he gave it to me,” I answered, my tone sounding more defensive than I intended.

"Thank goodness he didn't throw it in the trash," she said before taking the hake I left. "I hope he doesn't throw you away either." With that threat, she walked away, getting lost in the cereal aisle.

I just saw the beautiful woman swinging her hips away, like a poisonous viper with beautiful colored scales. I couldn't help but see the gold bracelet that rested delicately on my wrist. My gaze hyperfixed on the letters engraved on it, wondering what kind of relationship this strange woman had with Sukuna. I put the salmon in my basket and continued with my shopping in an attempt to forget the unusual conversation.

After paying for the salmon and the rest of the ingredients I would use for the special dinner, my phone started ringing. I arranged the plastic bags in one hand to get my phone out of my pants. It was Yuuji.

"Hello, Y/n!" His friendly voice sounded from the other side. "Do you have any plans for tonight?"

"Not really. I am only going to make Sukuna’s dinner for his birthday,” I answered as I walked back home.

"Cancel that. My parents just invited me and my brothers to dinner at the restaurant they just opened in the bay.” I stopped dead and sighed. “The salmon will have to wait until tomorrow.” "Do you have a pretty dress?" he wondered out of nowhere.

"Why you ask?". I asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I asked my parents if you could come. When they found out you were Sukuna's friend, they said yes.”

"Why did you do that?" I asked him, even more confused. This couldn't be good.

"Because Choso is going, duh," he answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Because I was thinking about Sukuna 24/7, I had completely forgotten about Choso's existence. Yuuji still doesn't know that I like his other brother now. Plus, his parents will be there. Oh no, this can't be happening. This would be a disaster, I could sense it. Did I really have to go? My feelings churned in my chest the further I walked down the sidewalk. I stopped when I reached the crosswalk. The traffic light was red.

"I don't think this is a good idea..."

"Don't say that! It's the perfect opportunity for Choso to see you slay like the queen you are,” Yuuji lifted my spirits that I was dragging on the ground.

"Hang up the phone now!" I heard Gojo yell at him from a distance, Yuuji was still be in the gym, training with Sukuna.

"See you in the afternoon," he said goodbye before hanging up.

The light turned green, but I still couldn't cross. I stood frozen on the sidewalk, stunned by the unusual invitation. I felt lost. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to go because I really like hanging out with the boys, but I was afraid to find out what my true feelings were for Choso and Sukuna. Also, I raised Choso’s hopes up. What if I didn’t like him anymore because I liked Sukuna? Thai was a mess. 

The traffic light turned red again. Why was I questioning my feelings for Choso? It's true that I liked Sukuna, but I liked Choso the moment I saw him. Sukuna had been an acquired taste from the times we've slept together. The gifts and me living with him seemed to have no meaning to him. I was in a dangerous situation, and he just wanted to protect me, right? Everything was so confusing. Maybe if I was to go to dinner, I had to find out what my true feelings were.

The traffic light turned green again.

After picking my outfit, an everything shower and doing my makeup, I was ready. It had been a long time since the last time I dressed up like a fine lady for dinner. I always have to wear sporty clothes due to work. Putting on a cute pink dress and applying a small wing eyeliner made me feel like a pretty princess. I brushed my hair in front of my large bathroom mirror while my stomach churned nervously. Seeing myself so different from how I normally look was like seeing an old friend I hadn't seen in years. As I put the brush back in its place, I noticed that I still had Sukuna's bracelet on my wrist. 

“I don't think it's a good idea to wear it today,” I thought aloud before taking it off and putting it in a jewelry box.

I went down to the entrance at the time Sukuna and I had agreed to leave. My heels echoed with every step I took. I already wanted him to see me as “the queen” that I am, Yuuji's words. I went downstairs with every intention of surprising him, but I was the one who ended up surprised. He was already there, fixing his elegant suit in front of the mirror. I never thought I'd see a man like Sukuna, who always dresses in T-shirts and shorts, wearing a sharp black suit with an ivory turtleneck sweater. This was not the cranky man I coach, this was a millionaire man with a mobster vibe straight out of a romance novel written by a woman. From the shine on his shoes to his well-groomed hair, Sukuna looked like the jackpot. 

“You look... different,” he said as he analyzed my whole body. “Of course I look different! What kind of compliment is that?!” I thought annoyed. 

“You look different too.” I told him reluctantly. 

“Are you ready to go?” He asked. I just nodded excitedly before following him out the door. 

In the nighttime tapestry of the city, the bright lights painted a surreal panorama. The asphalt shone like an ebony river, reflecting the headlights of passing cars like wandering fireflies. The city had an air of mystery and adventure. Tokyo was a place where anything could happen, where dreams came true and nightmares lurked in the shadows. The steering wheel turned under my fingers like a rudder guiding a ship through a sea of ​​metal. The roar of the engine was a discordant symphony that echoed in the silence of the night.

“How did training with Gojo go?” I asked him to get a topic of conversation.

"Everything was going well until I had to train again with the useless rookies,” he muttered in annoyance, gripping the steering wheel firmly. "Have you thought about who your replacement will be?" He asked.

"I have a few candidates in mind,” I answered. "In fact, a coach approached me when I went to the market, but she didn't give me a good vibe.”

"Why?" he asked, curious.

"I think you already know each other."

"What's her name?”

"Yuki Tsukumo." Sukuna braked the car in its tracks, making us bounce in our seats. Thank God we had our seat belts on. If we hadn’t, I would have slammed into the glass. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" I exclaimed with my heart in my hand.

Sukuna didn't answer me. He squeezed the steering wheel, clearly annoyed, to park next to the curb. He took off his seatbelt to lean back on the steering wheel. Who was this Yuki Tsukumo that could make Sukuna act like this? An ex-partner? Impossible, Yuuji told me that he has never had a girlfriend. Someone he slept with in the past? I don't blame him, she's beautiful.

"You better not tell Choso or Yuuji that you ran into he," he told me after letting out a long sigh.

"Why not? Is there something I should know?” I asked him confused with the whole situation.

"She is Choso's ex-fiancée,” he answered before holding his forehead in concern.

"Oh…” I could not believe it.

Sukuna POV

I couldn't believe this blonde bitch had shown up again. Finally, when we had all left her in the past, she decided to come back for more. I clearly remembered the first time I saw that stupid girl smiling from cheek to cheek as if she were a pure soul. Choso looked so happy and proud to introduce her as his future wife. Poor asshole, he didn't know what he was getting into... and neither did I.

He still vividly remembered the night where everything turned into a shit show. The UFC had paid me the best suite in Las Vegas for my first championship fight. Sometimes I closed my eyes to return to that majestic place. Admiring the Strip, a glittering ribbon of casinos, hotels, and attractions that never sleeps, Paris's iconic Eiffel Tower twinkling with a thousand lights, and the High Roller Ferris wheel rising above the horizon like a giant lighthouse. I fucked a prostitute in the middle of the wide balcony, enjoying the panorama that stretched out in front of me.

"Sukuna!" The whore screamed my name desperately.

My hips didn't stop pounding into ramming her. Her tits were bouncing in my face and her legs were spread across the couch. I opened her ass to reach the deepest part of her being. He had paid a good amount for her, he was willing to destroy her physically and emotionally. I pulled her hair while my cock hit her cervix, her limit. I was so close to reaching the climax, ensuring my future victory... but some idiot had to ring the bell at that moment.

I was so close that I didn't care that the person would stay outside all night. I didn't care if it was Choso, Gojo, Yuuji or my parents. I was very busy. The idiot didn't seem to want to understand that I wasn't going to open it, so he kept insisting on the fucking doorbell. Ding-dong. Ding-Dong. Ding-fucking-Dong. The annoying sound made me lose concentration.

"Fuck!" I screamed before pulling my cock out of the whore. She sighed in annoyance, plopping down on the couch. "Hide in the closet or something, I'm not done with you." I told her before wrapping a towel around my hips.

"I'm going to charge you extra!" She yelled at me before following my instruction.

I straightened my towel before reluctantly opening the door. In front of me was the last person I thought I would meet. It was Yuki, Choso's guest. What the fuck was she doing here at midnight? Especially alone. From her pajamas and her slightly messy hair, I could tell she had escaped from the bed she shared with my younger brother.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked her, annoyed. "It better be important."

"I want to talk about business, can I come in?" she asked me with her usual flirtatious smile.

"No. Just tell me what you have to say so you can leave me alone,” I answered. I could already feel my balls turning blue.

"Do you kiss your mother with that filthy?" she joked.

"I'm not in the mood, spit it out before I slam the door in your face," I blurted out. It was the last warning I was going to give her.

"I noticed that you don't have a trainer who specializes in jiu-jitsu. I know you don't accept women in your gym, but if you allow me to be part of your team, I can…".

I couldn't help but laugh in her face, cutting her off completely. Did she just interrupt my good luck ritual to offer herself as my trainer? I knew she was a jiu-jitsu trainer at a local gym, but I never thought she had the balls to ask me to recruit her. Couldn't she do this another day or in the morning? Why right here when Choso is surely sleeping peacefully thinking that she is by his side? Was this shit serious? There were so many questions about her behavior that I could only laugh.

"I don't see what's funny about it," Yuki said, crossing her arms.

"Then you have a terrible sense of humor," I answered. "Is that all you have to tell me?"

"I'm sure I'm a better fighter than you, I could kick your ass if I wanted to," she said annoyed.

"I want to see you try," I said. “She wouldn't dare,” I thought for sure.

Well, she dared. She attacked me by surprise with a kick to the abdomen. I lowered my arm, preventing it from connecting completely, but it did hit my side. I couldn't defend myself well while just having a towel on. One wrong move and I was already naked. I backed away out of inertia, allowing her to enter the suite. She jumped at me to continue hitting me.

"Bitch!" I screamed while covering my private parts.

"I'm going to show you that you need me on your team!" she shouted with a smile on his face.

"I don't want anyone else on my team!" I exclaimed.

How the hell did we get to this situation? I wasn't sure, but I had to do something about it. She pulled and punched me, trying to take me down like any jiu-jitsu fighter would do. She launched another kick at me, this time I evaded it in time, but she broke a lamp in the process. I was debating in my mind whether I should knock her out with one punch. I could not do it. Even though she was crazy, she was Choso's fiancée. My first option was to call one of my brothers or someone saner.

"Just think about it seriously, with my brain and your muscles I could make you a millionaire in less than you think," she told me excitedly.

So she was after the money. Which is normal… but that didn't explain why she was acting so secretive. Why didn't she tell Choso he wanted a job on the Team Black? There was something else she wasn't telling me. I entered the master bedroom as quickly as possible without exposing my cock to grab the phone, but she ended up cornering me against the closet before I could get to it. At the sudden knock, the prostitute screamed.

"Who is it?" Yuki asked me confused.

"I didn't know he had a wife!" The whore screamed opening the closet door. “Oh no,” I thought. "Please don't hit me!" The poor girl yelled as she fled the scene.

"Hey! We're not done yet!” I yelled.

And as if fate was mocking me, I dropped the towel. I was in the middle of a teenager's worst nightmare. Yuki shamelessly looked down, making this more awkward than it already was. By this point I was praying that this was a bad taste prank. I just wanted Yuuji or Gojo to come into the room with a camera in hand, mocking my reaction, but that never happened.

"Nice girl you hired," she laughed at me. And just when I thought this was only going to get worse, I heard the voice of my potential savior.

"Sukuna!" I heard Choso's voice from the door as he rang the doorbell as if his life depended on it.

"You worried your future husband," I told her before pushing her to let go, so I could put the towel back on.

"Hire me or I'll tell Choso I cheated on him with you," Yuki threatened me.

"What?!" I asked him, frowning at the tremendous bullshit she just said.

That's when it hit me. Yuki came to ask me for a job without Choso because she is only with him for convenience. She's only with him to blatantly get close to me. Since I don't accept women in the gym, this was his solution to get to me. I should have seen it before. I remember how at dinner with our parents he spent the time talking about jiu-jitsu and the UFC, sharing his extensive knowledge on the subject. Everyone was delighted with her, but she drove me crazy. 

"Are you that desperate for money?" I asked him, not believing what was happening.

"You don't have much time,” Yuki crossed her arms as the ringing continued.

"Sukuna!" Choso exclaimed again.

"I trust Choso, he is not stupid enough to fall for something like that."

End of Sukuna POV

"Choso was stupid enough to fall for that,” Sukuna blurted out after recounting the tragedy that happened that day. "He knew about my lucky ritual and to this day he still thinks I fucked his fiancée," he said as he looked towards the car in front of us.

I was just listening to him while Sign Of The Times by Harry Styles was playing on the radio. We were still parked so that Sukuna could tell me in great detail what had happened with Yuki and Choso. It was a hard story to believe. A woman interrupting his suite in the middle of his lucky ritual and then threatening to break off his relationship with his brother over a measly coaching job is not something you hear every day.

"I tried to explain to him several times what happened, but he never wanted to listen to me. Then he told Yuuji and since that idiot doesn't know how to shut up, everyone in the gym knows,” he explained. "It's an absurd story, I know, but…".

"I believe you," I told him before he could finish his sentence.

"You do?" he looked at me, confused.

"Why are you surprised? I believed you when you told me about your lucky ritual.” I said. "Is it a strange story? Yes, but we are a team. If you tell me the sky is pink, I believe you. If you tell me that pigs fly, I believe you. If you tell me that Yuki Tsukumo is a son of a bitch, I'll believe you.”

Sukuna smiled at my response. He looked relieved, as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders. I smiled back at his reaction. Sukuna always has been honest with me, I had no reason to doubt him. Even though I had little time left as his coach, I planned to continue by his side. I don't know if it was the sad story or my feelings towards him got in the way that made me take off my seat belt to reach him. He didn't know what exactly was going through his mind, but whatever it was, he needed a hug.

My body felt light when he reciprocated the gesture. Our bodies melted in the warmth of the moment. His hands traveled down my back to press me closer to his broad chest. I would have liked to stop time to stay here all my life. Maybe Sukuna didn't like me back, but I knew I someone important to him, and I was happy with that.

The luxurious restaurant at the Grand Palace Hotel had an elegant atmosphere with high ceilings, panoramic windows and sparkling chandeliers. Sukuna and I made our way among the tables covered with white tablecloths and velvet chairs that invited guests to delight in an exquisite menu. In the distance, we saw his family. They were happy to see us, but they were also clearly disappointed for arriving 20 minutes late. Everyone looked elegant and sophisticated, especially Choso. He always looked good, but today he looked phenomenal in his gray suit and white shirt. He greeted me with a smile on his face as soon as we approached the table.

"You look beautiful,” he complimented me. My heart skipped a beat with happiness. “Are you watching, Sukuna? This is how you give a compliment,” I thought with blushing cheeks.

"I thought I raised you to always be on time," the mother scolded Sukuna.

According to Yuuji, Kaori Itadori was a highly sophisticated and strict mother. She has always focused on giving his children the best education so that they would grow up to be strong men and providers. An extremely traditional and Catholic woman. She sounded like the worst mother-in-law you could have.

"There was a lot of traffic," Sukuna answered reluctantly as we sat at the table.

Choso helped me, pulling my chair like a perfect gentleman. I was so nervous having him so close, since Yuuji gave me his seat, so I could sit next to him. My mind was at peace realizing that I still liked Choso a lot.

"At this time? The report says that the streets are quite clear,” his mother challenged him.

"Honey, it was only 20 minutes. You're going to scare his girlfriend away,” her husband, Jin Itadori, told her. He was like any dad, pretty chill and care free. 

"She is not my girlfriend. She's my coach,” Sukuna clarified, starting to get annoyed.

"But you live together," his mother said.

"You live together?" Choso asked me confused. “Oh no,” I thought. I had barely arrived, and I already wanted to go home. I had a feeling this woman was going to try to embarrass me in any way possible the rest of the evening.

"It is a long story," I said, trying to cut the tension.

"You see, Sukuna kicked his ex's ass. This ex almost raped her in the past, so Sukuna offered her to live with him so she would feel safe,” Yuuji explained the situation.

"Yuuji!" Sukuna and I scolded him.

"I'm just trying to help!" Yuuji defended himself.

I wanted to die. Yuuji just told the whole table my life trauma as if it were the plot of a movie he watched on Netflix. I hid in my hands from shame, praying that the earth would swallow me whole.

"I'll take a smoking break," Choso said before getting up from the table to retreat to the balcony.

"Is it necessary to ask those kinds of questions now?" Sukuna asked his mother, already annoyed.

"You know what I think about concubinage," His mother reproached him, disappointed.

"We're not a couple. We just work together.” Sukuna rolled his eyes.

"Besides, Y/n likes Choso, don’t you?" Yuuji asked me to make his mother stop bugging me with questions about my relationship with her son.

"I need fresh air," I excused myself to get out of there as quickly as possible.

I knew this was a bad idea from the start. I should have said no to Yuuji. I went out to the balcony to breathe deeply and admire the view of the city. I looked at Choso to explain what was happening. I found him smoking on the other side of the balcony, just as he had told us. He looked so elegant and mysterious in front of the pretty city lights. A beautiful contrast between brightness and darkness.

"Long time no see," I greeted him, approaching him.

"Does Sukuna treat you well?" He asked me, ignoring my greeting. It seemed like being straightforward ran in the family.

"I can not complain," I answered honestly. "Sometimes he's a jerk, but you already know that," I joked. He smiled with the cigarette between his lips.

"I know… very well," he said as he blew the smoke into the wind, being careful not to blow the smoke in my face.

"Does it bother you that I live with him?" I asked him worried.

"Of course not, I just didn't expect it," he answered. "Yuuji told me that you're going to quit soon, is that true?" I was happy to see that he was treating me as always.

"That's right, I'm very excited to return to the gym with my team," I explained with a smile.

Choso despite having some similarities with Sukuna, he was so kind in comparison. His voice was sweet, his touch was pleasant, and his words filled me with joy. My heart moved every time he spoke to me. In the end, I realized that I still liked him, and I was very happy that it was that way. He was my ideal man.

"Are you still thinking about calling me when you become the protector again?" He wondered with a thread of hope. My cheeks blushed redder as I listened. I had already forgotten what I had said to him that night at the bar.

"You know it," I answered him with a smile.

Next →

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Tag list: @maskedpacific @thepurpleempath @mazzd4 @charlie-xo @s0uldarling @sunako-0120 @berranurates @00frenchfries00 @crowned-gemini @alialucille @azuremyst99 @azuremyst99

[absolutebl]

what bl should i watch now? i’m about to do my hair and need something to keep my attention! i just watched love for loves sake, but other than that i’m not up to date with anything recent!

I Cannot Reach You - it's on Netflix. AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai

I just did a rewatch on my last trip and it's truly phenomenal. A GREAT binge. The most recent 10/10 I've given.

If you want soemthing recently ended:

The Sign (YouTube) for true unhinged chaotic joy

or

Cherry Magic Thailand - for a big warm hug of a show, grey only I'm afriad.

[laventadorn]

This is half about danmei, which isn't the main or even tertiary purpose of this blog, BUT also half about writing in general, so here I stick it.

I've been reading danmei since 2020 but I've really struggled to write anything for it. If i measure success by just getting something going, the fic I'm currently working on is the most "successful" venture I've had. It took me ages to even crank out the opening scenes. Despite longing to write in the New Hyperfixation for a long time, I just couldn't grok it.

Initially I thought it was unfamiliarity with the background of the culture the media was based in. With HP, for example, there is a whole lot of English culture that's easily accessible to me, and I studied British literature in school for years. Obviously this isn't the same thing as being English, but it gave me enough of a background to fake it that once when i applied to a graduate program in England, they thought I was actually English.

But with china, there is so much I don't understand and can't access in the same way, so I thought perhaps that was the problem.

But now I'm thinking it's more about the literary approach.

The tradition I learned to write in is one of realism. I often cite Jane Austen as my favorite author; she was a writer of realism: people, situations, and style are all as close to reality as possible. She was actually one of the most hard-line realist writers of the time, even meticulously accurate in minutiae such as how long it took to travel between cities, or when you could reasonably expect to receive a letter. The way she renders character is also heavily based in the psychology of real people, especially in the latter half of her career. And I love the psychology of character. Nothing interests me more as a reader or a writer. It's what I use as a foundation for writing: how to render people and their emotional responses within a tradition of realism, so that they feel (as much as possible, given that i also love fantasy) like genuine human beings.

But this is not, in my experience of it, what Chinese BL is about.

Now, the first of my caveats is that plenty of western media isn't, either (though fandom tends to be obsessed with it to the point of mania, where a character's psychology is microscopically detailed, in particular their responses to trauma). But western media often maintains a veneer of it -- my favorite marvel movie is Captain America: the Winter Soldier, which features Steve feeling purposeless and empty in a world he no longer fits in. (And then his internal conflict is symbolically made external with the reappearance of his dearest friend, whose mind has been wiped to forget him.) That whole movie revolves around Steve's psychology. And that's a big budget blockbuster movie chock full of punchy, blow-uppy action scenes. It still finds time to make a character feel depressed and lost.

(They then did absolutely nothing interesting with it, but you know. They had a single moment.)

To a certain extent, if western media is character based, it has to explore the characters' mental state, and tries to do so in a way that enlightens both the audience and the character, opening up their dark parts and forcing them to change. We probably have Joseph Campbell to thank for a lot of this; his Hero's Journey was modeled heavily on the works of Carl Jung, the psychologist. In fact, Carl Jung was hugely influential in English-speaking literary criticism of the 1970's. (I say "English speaking" because that's the only field I'm familiar with.) To give you the biggest example I know of, Ursula K. le Guin's phenomenal Earthsea trilogy is steeped in Jungian psychology, no book more so than the opening novel, A Wizard of Earthsea. The climax of that novel blew my mind, by the way.

My second caveat is this: it's not that the patterns of Chinese BL don't have character work, or that they aren't concerned with the character's interiority. With my fixation on character, if those things were entirely absent, I wouldn't be reading these books. It's more that the media tradition of hyper-focus on the characters' mental state, the delicate unfolding of their psychology, is not what drives the media. The characters do suffer, and they have feelings and desires, but they are often preternaturally strong-willed and able to withstand horrific trauma while still maintaining their sense of self.

(Two characters really come to mind. One is Chang Geng from Sha Po Lang, whose "mother" repeatedly puts him through such intense physical and psychological abuse in his childhood that you wonder how anyone could possibly stay sane. But he's also been injected with a magical poison that will drive him insane, and gives him bloody nightmares every night, and requires him to drink blood -- you get the idea. The other is Gu Mang from Yuwu: Remnants of Filth, who goes through things that are just mind-bogglingly Yiiiikes. Each of them feels the pain, but realism isn't where we're trying to arrive at, because it would be impossible for a real person to hold it together under the things they endured. But neither of them is supposed to be like a real person. Chang Geng, Gu Mang, is supposed to be more.)

Nothing is always. To use the novel I'm writing for as an obvious example toward some measure of realism, Xie Lian spends Book 4 being deeply traumatized; it's part of his character journey and essential to the plot. But his character psychology is still not based in realism. It wasn't designed to be. MXTX herself said in her afterword for TGCF that neither Hua Cheng nor Xie Lian were remotely like real people, because they weren't supposed to be. They were supposed to be larger than life, more than mere existence.

So when I am puttering around with my Psychology of the Individual writing tool, I get a bit wrong-footed because the entire way that I approach writing does not seamlessly settle into this brave new frontier. How can I realistically explore the emotions and mind of people who are not written to be like real people at all? That's what's truly been stumping me.

[bengiyo]

Never Let Me Go Ep 4 Stray Thoughts

Last time we were together, we established that Thai BL is going to turn to ballroom dance as a romantic tool for the foreseeable future. Palm clearly has feelings for Nuengdiao, and that played out best during the pool scene when Pond got cheeky.

Nuengdiao confirmed that Phum was the one bullying him, and I had thoughts about Phum's tenuous position near wealth, considering the expense of this school. When confronted, Phum made the mistake of putting hands on Nuengdiao and got his entire ass handed to him for it, as Palm went ballistic.

Meanwhile, Chopper continues to have an absolutely embarrassing crush on Ben, who I absolutely do NOT trust. Still, Perth and Chimon are fantastic.

Mutual suspension and probation is probably the best any school administration can do at this point. At least Phum's dad is well enough to come and advocate for his son?

Perth is so phenomenally charming, and plays well with Phuwin. If something happens to sour their dynamic I am going to start biting.

Maggie is very determined, but I don't blame her.

How Phuwin gets his eyes to sparkle when he's being mischievous I will never know, but I like it.

Gosh, it's going to hurt if the relationship between Nueng and Chopper sours. The ease of their familial dynamic tinged with their naivete about their parents set off a deep melancholy in me.

Also, Chopper asking about Ben only to turn around forlornly and practice shooting feels so ominous.

I actually like Maggie. I hope I don't have to add her to the list of Girls Who Don't Deserve This.

Pond is at his best in this show with Phuwin when he's being cheeky.

Ah yes. Let's project our feelings into this school essay about an impossible love, and then stand too close together and flirt.

Oh, Chimon is left-handed. I don't think I noticed that before.

Oh, Chopper, how I adore you. I have also projected my feelings into the advice I've given to my secret crushes. You can feel the heartache when Ben says he likes Nuengdiao.

Goddammit I need to know what happened between Ben and Chopper "on that day" right now! Chimon and Perth are so good and I am invested!

Palm is back at school. I hope we haven't seen the last of Pawin.

The cast for this show is really talented. I don't trust Ben, but I admire what Chimon is doing so much that I want him to not be suspect.

You know, I really like this kiss between Ben and Nuengdiao. It feels very high school and tentative. Ben is clearly more into it, and Nuengdiao seems mostly curious and hopeful. Also, no one saw it for some immediate drama. How refreshing.

🤡 Nevermind. Of course Palm saw it. 🤡

Palm out here like, "Harvey Dent. Can we trust him?"

Oof, I felt the frustration between them in this scene. Palm wants something he knows he shouldn't have, and can't even be jealous about it.

Phuwin does a great job with this tub scene. Finally an effective use of flashbacks.

Chimon is overwhelmingly talented. So glad Phuwin can match his energy in these scenes.

Wind him up (get him drunk) and watch him go (embarrass himself and Palm).

Phuwin changing his voice to sound drunk is super effective.

Damn, they are in fights in back to back episodes.

What a harrowing end to the episode.

Next week looks intense!

[everyforkedroad]

Genre romance, bias, and Kinnporsche

I know I'm asking for it, but I feel like I have to get this off my chest.

The bias against the romance genre is one of the constant elements across all media that I consume and Kinnporsche: The Series is no exception. Kinn and Porsche are given a classic romance arc, complete with a meet cute, the end of act crisis, incoming black moment and resolution. And yet, despite the series being marketed as a mafia romance people are still out here complaining about...the romance? Like, did they not get the memo that they are watching...a high concept romance between Kinn and Porsche set in a mafia world? Do they realize romance has conventions like any other genre that need to be followed? If viewers came for the mafia stuff and were disappointed by the lack of gore, angst and trauma wrt the main couple, and are rebelling against the fluff that KP has been serving up, it might simply be that they are shopping in the wrong genre.

I realize a lot of the blame for the disparity between expectation and what the show delivered is also the fault of the novel, which did a piss-poor job of, well, basically everything except for the plot (which, together with the sex scenes, is why I suspect it became so popular despite its numerous and egregious defects). However, the show does a phenomenal job of taking the best elements of the novel and leaving the chaff on the cutting room floor.

Even with this fact in mind, the novel itself is presented as a romance and though it has some moments of grit, it doesn't make it any less of a romance. As such, the romantic elements, including the fluff and showing the couple being in love, are strong because that's kind of the point. It's a convention of the genre to show the reader/viewer why the two love interests should be together. The only way to do that is to show them in full, unabashed love. And that's going to include fluff, sex, and even the kind of rom-com humor that is, coincidentally, also a part of Thai storytelling conventions as well.

We should be grateful because Kinnporsche actually does something very clever, reserving the classic romance arc for KinnxPorsche, while serving up dark romance with VegasPete (very well done, I might add) and even giving us a little traditional BL/yaoi fix with KimxChay. There really is something for everyone, and they manage to make it work.

So when I see people complain about the fluffier elements of Kinnporsche, all I can think is, how do you say you hate romance without saying you hate romance?

[iguessitsjustme]

I am suuuuper bored at work so I thought I’d make a list of my top 10 BL couples*

In no particular order:

1. InKorn - Until We Meet Again. My precious babies deserved better.

2. Tian/Phupha - A Tale of A Thousand Stars. Just this whole show was phenomenal. Might need to do a rewatch soon.

3. Gun/Bar - En of Love Tossara. Probably the only En of Love I actually finished. Bless these communication kings.

4. Nozue/Togawa - Old Fashion Cupcake. I would like to thank these two for so many things, least of which is that they made me realize I actually do love age gaps. But this show is the most fantastically queer and beautiful little story and really just watch it.

5. VegasPete - KinnPorsche. Do I need to explain this one?

6. Mark/Ou Wen - Love is Science? They are a BL side couple but they so good. I will forever be holding my breath for a spin-off show with them and their little found family.

7. LeoFiat - Don’t Say No. You can pry my love of them from my cold, dead hands.

8. YuZhen/ Shi Lei - Be Loved in House: I Do. Who allowed these two to do that? It took them awhile to get there but once they did? Beautiful.

9. WitWin - Hidden Love. I don’t understand how these two were in this show. Were they worth watching the rest of the show? Unclear. I think they are but they rest of the show literally made me cry because it was so stupid…and I don’t cry. But WitWin probably had one of the best stories in any BL and yes they will make you cry.

10. Toh/Nuea and SkyJao - Secret Crush On You. I couldn’t pick just one because I love these couples for the same reasons. The love and communication these boys share with each other and even with their friends is so refreshing to see. Sure, you might need to be ready to embrace the cringe, but somehow they have some of the healthiest relationships I’ve seen in a BL

*this is literally just my current list off the top of my head and at any given moment a different couple will be on this list.

[mejomonster]

THE ECLIPSE IS SO FREAKING GOOD

please check it out if you liked the gifted or blacklist (or even not me if you liked the political aspect of it) and wanted that with queer leads

Khaotung and first are So good, khaotung is always next level when given even a marginally meaty script and this one works for himmm. First gives nuance as expected, then other faves I've already seen in shows before are also getting a bit more room to do more nuance and layered stuff (rather than only being bl background comedy)

You do need to actually enjoy the missing person/curse thriller aspect, and politicial aspect, to enjoy this. Which for me is a plus. It's not all romance, it's also solidly another genre which for me raises the tension (I'm just usually not real attention caught by romance alone). Khaotung in particular is doing phenomenal at really heightening the romantic flirty scenes into both extremely tense flirt wise and emotionally, and also tense because u know both Ayan and Akk have additional goals in the scenes. Akk is SO into Ayan already (hook line and sinker this boy is gay for the cute boy ayan who keeps flirting with him), but akk also really suspects Ayans up to trouble and a rule defier which are things akk is used to being against so that tension is nonstop. Meanwhile Ayan flirts to the max but its Clear earlier on its all just to get under akks skin and get him to back off so Ayan can continue investigating. So as Ayan starts genuinely liking Akk more, the tension of Ayan both doing it just to mess with akk/protect his own goals will push more against him just genuinely liking akk. The puppy scene was both cute and a sliver of their future i imagine (them getting along as people and liking that - I predict we are headed to an eventual pangwave the gifted situation where "enemies" come to understand each other and team up against a bigger threat to all the students).

I am so happy with the casting. The side actors are doing so good, I've missed them since other shows. I can tell the script has room to grow and get more intense as time goes on. I'm guessing maybe the show isn't landing quite yet to some ppl cause it's not cutesy romcom bl in school setting (which is different than the norm based on this shows setup), and while it's political/thriller like the Gifted and Blacklist it is also WAY more overtly queer which makes it too bl looking maybe for some audiences to assume it'll be like those shows. (And I love how overtly queer it is, it feels like how 5515 Never Too Late handled the queer characters - much more like a queer story than a bl within the box). Thua is clearly gay and bullied to some degree for it, his eventual love interest seems to be aware of queer people (making it distinctly Not like ur typical bl in that it's doing neither of the usual "these ppl are only gay for each other" or "gay is normal already and Not facing real world issues it does in reality"). And his love interest seems to purposely be both flaunting liking girls and also defending Thua and stopping bullies, which just on its own is a nuanced realistic feeling teen (a teen who knows queer ppl are normal and should be treated like everyone, but maybe isn't ready to face the fact they may also be queer and what that means They'll have to personally face). There's Akk, who either knows he likes men or certainly realized it when Ayan came to the school - and is so wrapped up in his duties he barely faces his own emotional situation (which broadly may get addressed more as he becomes more aware of his own feelings versus what he's always just blindly followed). There's Ayan, who is aware he's into men and Reads as into men and uses it to his advantage, who doesn't hide or act like a straight guy, who reads on screen as an overtly queer character (khaotung doing amazing and like in 5515 showing off that he can do realistic characters that feel like people who just exist in the world). Ayan is just our queer protagonist trying to investigate the missing person he cared about, and stop bad stuff from happening - he's our Pang! I love him. There's also the students protesting at the school, and although we haven't heard anything of their dating lives (and I dunno if their behavior reads the same in Thailand) we do know they talk a bit femininely which reads a bit queer. Also kind of making this divide where Akks prefect boys seem to be "straight" and like girls and follow the traditions and Enforce them, versus the protesting students who want traditions to stop for traditions sake and value freedom and human rights (with Ayan not a part of their group but definitely in spirit having similar goals and reading as the most overtly gay person in the cast of characters). It's interesting, and I wonder if the divide will get used more for themes as the story unfolds more.

We are only on ep 2 and I'm already !!!! I am. Loving this show so much.

[gunsatthaphan]

~ Monthly BL Breakdown: August 2021 ~  

Disclaimer: All shows can be streamed here, here or here! For more info about shows, check out their MDL pages!

- Updates coming every month - feel free to add stuff! -

What came out this month? (green tick = seen or currently watching)

🌟 Be Loved in House Special Ep - August 5th (Taiwan) ✅

🌟 Don’t Say No - August 6th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Light - August 13th (Taiwan)

🌟 Love Beneath the Stars - August 16th (Philippines)

🌟 Check Out Ep0 - August 22nd (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Bed Weather - August 27th (Philippines) 🌟 A First Love Story - August 27th (South Korea)

🌟 Love Advisor - August 28th (Thailand)

🌟 Love is - August 28th (Philippines)

🌟 Bite Me - August 29th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Check Out Documentary - August 29th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Peach of Time - August 30th (South Korea) ✅

🌟 7 Project - August 30th (Thailand) ✅

Monthly likes/dislikes

❣️ Don’t Say No - sorry if I can’t shut up about it but I’m obsessed lol; LF’s chemistry is phenomenal and the plot is super interesting. They’re not shying away from anything, everything is raw and real which is 👌🏻. Also communication hello? These guys are actually talking to each other about their insecurities - something I haven’t seen since Cherry Magic lol. And not just the mains, but also the other characters probably have the best communication I’ve seen in a bl. A+++ ❣️ PitchBank (Golden Blood) - I had to put them in here; I haven’t had second couple syndrome since RamKing lol but how could I not I mean?? They’re so lively and hilarious and no offense to SunSky but they stole the show for sure lol.

❣️ Check Out - Episode 0 was unexpectedly good, I really liked their chemistry and the filming style is really nice. It sucks that we have to wait until next year for the full series but if it’s anything like this episode then it’s definitely worth the wait. I love it!

New show announcements

🎥  First Love Only Third - Coming November 2021 (South Korea)

🎥  Konorebi - Coming late 2021 (Taiwan) 🎥  Golden Blood The Movie - Date TBA (Thailand) 🎥  Vanishing My First Love - Coming October 18th 2021 (Manga adaption, Japan)

🎥  Want To Be On Your Mind - Date TBA (Thailand) 

🎥  I Wanna Bite It (from the producers of wish you & nobleman ryus wedding) - Date TBA (South Korea) 

🎥  My Sweet Dear (starring Jang EuiSoo from WYEL & Lee ChanHyung) - Coming October 2021 (South Korea) 🎥  Cherry Blossom After Winter - Coming late 2021 (South Korea)

Other news from the bl world

❗️The upcoming korean bl “First Love Only Third” will have 6 episodes à 25 minutes. Filming is scheduled for September and it will be available worldwide via OTT.  ❗️A first trailer for the upcoming Filipino bl “Turbulence” has been released. (Date TBA)

❗️ The annual LINETV awards were held on August 5th. The following 2 bls won:

ITSAY: Best Viral Scene,  Best Kiss Scene, Best Thai Song & Best Couple 2gether: Series of the Year, Most Followers of the Year, Most Hearted of the Year & Best Rising Star (Win Metawin).

❗️ The upcoming Thai BL “Check Out” was set to air this month, but was postponed to 2022 due to the pandemic. Episode 0, which tells the backstory, aired this month; the other pre-airing content (documentary, reactions, etc.) is being released over the next month.

❗️ “In Your Heart” is an upcoming Chinese BL with no censoring. The date is still TBA but they have released a few sneak peeks on the show’s Twitter account. ❗️ Podd Suphakorn (THCT, DBK) and Phuwin Tang (FUTS) received the award นนทลีสยาม in the category “Children who create a reputation for the nation”, which is given to people who have proven to have good ethics, morality and loyality on the occasion of mother’s day in Thailand. ❗️ The cast of the upcoming Thai BL “Unforgotten Night” has been announced. Yoon Phusanu and Ton Saran will be the leads, along with Sammy M. and others. The plot constains sadism and is considered controversial. ❗The korean webtoon “Cherry Blossom After Winter” will be adapted into a series and produced by Wstory (WYEL, Mr. Heart, YMMD). It is set to air later this year with a runtime of 20-30 mins per episode.

❗️A Tale of Thousand Stars won “Best LGBTQ+ program made in Asia” at the Content Asia Awards 2021. ❗️The upcoming thai bl “My Ride” is officially back in production after being delayed multiple times. A new poster has been released.

Upcoming shows & movies for September

☝🏻 See You After Quarantine - September 17th (Taiwan) ☝🏻 The Tasty Florida - September 24th (South Korea) ☝🏻 Innocent - September 24th (Taiwan)

[nct-oli]

I haven’t talked about Lovely Writer on here at all I think, but I really am loving it so much. It took a while to grow on me, especially given how attached I have been this year to A Tale of Thousand Stars (it was hard to open my heart to another show lol), but I really do look forward to each episode, and I’ll be genuinely so sad when it ends next week.

I’m incredibly critical of the media I consume, and I think my standards are quite high when it comes to specific aspects of that media. I think the BL industry romanticizes a ton of toxic bullshit in their series, and fans eat it all up without ever recognizing the problems at play. I can’t 100% blame fans for enjoying the media that is blatantly presented to them as positive and not automatically finding the faults, but it’s a really toxic relationship between BL creators and BL fans. The supply and demand for really problematic content is so high.

A Tale of Thousand Stars and Lovely Writer, in my opinion, have been so refreshing as someone who was getting honestly really tired of BL series recycling the same toxic tropes over and over again. Neither of these series are perfect (that should never be the expectation), and they both have elements I’d still deem controversial or troublesome. But in comparison? Absolute standouts.

A Tale of Thousand Stars was able to tell a beautiful queer romance without the coming out drama, without the homophobia, without the oversexualization, and without the bland, two-dimensional characterization you too often see with queer characters. The only coming out scene was tastefully done and perfectly fitting with the story, and the rest of the series could play out as a mlw romance, if you were to replace one of the characters with a woman. Queer people deserve those romances, the ones that center around two people simply falling in love regardless of gender. Queer people have been asking for those stories for ages. There’s nothing wrong with the cliches, but the creativity shouldn’t stop there every time. A Tale of Thousand Stars was, at base level, just two people finding love in the mountains, and I’m so grateful for that. On top of that, the show also avoided so many toxic tropes (i.e., power differences, violent jealousy, romanticized SA). Add phenomenal acting, ridiculous chemistry, beautiful scenery, an interesting plot, and P’Aof to all of that and you have my favorite BL drama and one of my favorite general series to ever exist. Yes, I said it. (I add P’Aof because he’s an actual queer man who cares so much about portraying realistic and beautiful queer relationships, and I am so grateful to him for taking his talents and efforts into the BL industry. I think he is and will continue to be such a force for needed change. I appreciate that man so much and will be watching every series he creates.)

But then we have Lovely Writer, which I appreciate for somewhat similar but relatively different reasons. Sometimes I’m not even sure to what degree it’s all intentional, but the COMMENTARY on the BL industry is *chefs kiss.* I mean, the stark contrast between the gentleness of Nubsib and Gene’s real relationship versus the romanticized aggression of the fictional relationship within Gene’s novel is so important to me. I get so uncomfortable watching the scenes where they are filming the series because the comparison is so obvious and it’s mind boggling that so many people find the abusiveness so attractive and romantic. That’s such a huge issue in the BL industry, and I love how blatantly obvious they make it in the show. In addition, the series has highlighted the facade that is fan service, the fetishization and oversexualization of mlm relationships, and the issue of BL stories never being written by queer men. And most recently in episode 11, I think they really showed how the BL industry loves making money off of the queer community but doesn’t give a shit about queer people in real life. What I mean by that is, Gene is forced to write BL novels despite his own wishes, no matter how inauthentic they are to him as a writer, because the company believes they are marketable and profitable. But when Gene and Nubsib’s real life relationship comes to the surface, they are treated like dirt for the sake of the company and the show… for the money. There were other solutions to that issue, but the easiest in the company’s eyes was throwing them, actual queer people, to the side and telling them to essentially get over it. Sure, that’s just capitalism, but it really is a massive issue in the BL industry that needs changing. So to see that portrayed within the show is incredibly satisfying. They’re really bringing to light so many problematic aspects of the industry that have been hidden or downplayed for too long.

And then both of them are telling stories about actual queer people, which I love more than I can explain. And by that I mean characters who actually use words to say they are not straight. I’m so freaking tired of the blatant avoidance of the word “gay” or even the words “I like men” (plural men) in BL. And I’m especially tired of the “I don’t like men. I just like x” trope. I really, really appreciate both A Tale of Thousand Stars and Lovely Writer telling queer stories by making their characters actually queer. (And this isn’t at all about those who choose to not label their sexualities. That is absolutely valid, but unfortunately in the BL industry, the avoidance of any words indicating sexuality is generally done to separate the show from the actual community being profited off of, not to avoid labels for empowerment.)

I’ll stop rambling, but I just finished ep 11 of Lovely Writer and I had so many thoughts. 2021 has started off really well with both of these shows airing, but it also means my expectations are so high now… welp! Looking forward to the Lovely Writer finale next week. I’m really glad a show like this exists, and I hope it makes even just a few fans realize how they may be participating in toxicity or just a few creators realize they can have a successful series without romanticizing problematic behaviors.

Thank you to A Tale of Thousand Stars and Lovely Writer for restoring some of my faith. I’m grateful to you both.

[femtoh]

i just have to let this out (banana fish)

after banana fish, i’m convinced i will have to take a break because of the heartbreak i’m enduring right now. banana fish really set the standard for me in BL anime, and i wish it had more but at the same time, it’s just enough. i love ash’s character, and eiji and his’ dynamics are compatible with each other. they are both complementary. i’m never one to dabble into shows that have sensitive and explicit matters mostly because it is very graphic, but the plot of banana fish overpowers those details by compensating it with its great storytelling. and i’m so heartbroken that ash never got to see eiji again, and it made me wonder how maybe, after all this time, they really aren’t destined for each other.

we see how the author is cruel for creating these arcs for their relationship; for instance, we witness how ash becomes vulnerable and defenseless even with the thought of eiji and he fails to realize that he lets his guard down every time he’s around him. ash is being constantly denied of his opportunity to be with eiji and the one time he is within his reach, he dies because of the same reason of letting his guard down. and it’s completely ironic because the ultimate goal of ash after he escapes that shithole, is to be surrounded with comfort and break the habit of being alarmed and paranoid with his environment. because when he’s around eiji, he only feels comfort and security; and this is a consistent pattern we’ve seen on the show, with how many times eiji has attempted to secure ash’s safety but consecutively fails, without thinking of the consequences. 

and it breaks my heart that the only security and comfort ash has ever known in his life would be from eiji, and eiji himself. i am completely shattered with the outcome, and apart from their love story, i love how the author also mentions the tragedy and drastic effects of US imperialism, pedophilia, and other sensitive matters that are still prevalent up to this day. it has skillfully executed all stories without disrupting the plot and the storyline. it highlights all significant aspects and eventually emphasizes the horrors of the world. aside from its complicated and breathtaking love story, it also depicts a groundbreaking and phenomenal awareness of the concept of family, how children are most vulnerable and how your environment, with or without your parents, shapes you and substantially influences you. how parents carry the burden of molding you into the person you are, and how society operates on a survival-of-the-fittest game. indeed, this anime has given me much more to ponder on with just 24 episodes, and i don’t regret watching it. i wish there would come a time that i will re-watch it again without feeling the pain and hurt. 

in the end, it gives me comfort knowing that ash’s last thought before he dies is eiji’s last words to him, “my soul is always with you.” even if he knows he’ll never be with eiji again, he grasps at that ephemeral glimpse of solace of the thought of him for the last time. 

[p1nkymilk]

I’ve watched a bunch of BL dramas so far and the two that blow everything else out of the water are 2gether and ATOTS.

The reasons why (that they both have in common): ((spoilers ahead))

⭐️Incredibly fleshed out protagonists: Tine and Tian are so easy to form a connection to because their personalities are DISTINCT and beautifully brought to life. We love them with all our hearts. When Tian realized he wanted to be a teacher towards the end of the series, I truly felt joy.

Tian is an incredibly earnest, deep-thoughted, resilient character who is GENUINE and puts 100 percent effort into everything that he does. He’s an incredible liar, a total trouble magnet, and prone to overthinking and feelings of guilt which is both a beneficial and disadvantageous thing.

Tine is, first and foremost, oblivious, but he’s not oblivious for its own sake. The obliviousness is a cover, partially, for his own feelings of insecurity and hesitation. He’s prone to overthinking as well, and very insecure, and also has stomach problems from that. He loves to act super extroverted and flirty but really he’s a lot more quiet, deliberate and shy than he looks. He’s so sweet and has such a good heart and effusive energy— he picks up every scene he’s in. And most of all, he LOVES music and treasures it as an incredibly important part of his life.

The other protagonists only had one or two traits that made them stand out, and none of them felt like traits the audience could connect to. Third is known for being dramatic, but also for having deep feelings. Kongprob is known for his daring nature and tenacity to get what (or who) he wants. Wayo is insecure and very sweet. I do like all those characters but I couldn’t write a paragraph for them. These protagonists are loveable but not fleshed out.

⭐️ Secondly, in both dramas, the background characters are all given stories, lives, and quirks of their own.

In 2gether, there’s the one braincell gang who is so loveable— Phuak, Ohm and especially Fong the philosopher. All their stupid jokes, saying bad things about restaurants while they’re in them, their hare-brained efforts to help their equally hair-brained friend Tine, are so thoughtfully shown. Man and Boss are also full of life, cracking dumb jokes and running around, and same with P’Dim and Green, whose dramatics, especially in Still 2gether, sent me into peals of laughter. Although, I do wish they gave depth to Earn and Pear.

In ATOTS, the teasing, playful but kind hearted Doctor Nam, and the officers Yod and Rang with their mischevious eyes, and all of the children in the school, Khama and Longtae, even the villian, they ALL have lots of screen time and we get to know more about them and our hearts feel so warm as well. I know all the kids names: Ayi, Khaoneung, Meejoo, Inta and Kalae. And that’s because of the series— so much of the screen time focuses on them.

⭐️The setting in both brings the drama to life.

In 2gether, the room of the Music Club, and ALL of the concerts and performances establish a sense of atmosphere and show that the entire drama is tied together by music. Absolutely phenomenal.

In ATOTS, the village of Pa Phun Dao is also what ties the entire story together. The houses, the schoolyard, the officers’ quarters, the doctor’s office, the tea fields, and of course, the cliff make this drama so unique. It’s necessary and such a genius decision to give the village emphasis because we can fall in love with it alongside Tian and really see how it inspires him and gives him meaning.

⭐️Plot twists that are BELIEVABLE

In 2gether, the plot twist is that Sarawat was the one who had a huge crush on Tine since A LONG TIME AGO, and also that Type was Time’s brother. For the first one, it was a bit surprising but they built up to it, left lots of little clues. It didn’t feel melodramatic at all.

In ATOTS, the plot twist is that Tian’s car was the one that killed Torfun, the second plot twist that it wasn’t Tian but Tian’s friend, and the third is Phupha being in contact w Tian’s dad. These were a bit more surprising than the ones in 2gether, but it’s clear that they were well thought out and absolutely mind blowing.

⭐️ Most of all, the chemistry between the main characters is unparalleled.

When we think of Sarawat, we think of Tine.

When we think of Tian, we think of Phupha.

Every single look, every single interaction, was absolutely charged with chemistry. The actors were paired together in these roles so well. Even aside from that, their acting is PHENOMENAL.

I hope you enjoyed my little analysis !! :) it’s going to be almost impossible to find any dramas that are as good or better than these two.

[ratingtheframe]

I Care A Lot, Malcolm & Marie, Capone, The Life Ahead and the News of the World: Everything I watched in February.

Newsflash ! The cinemas still aren’t open and I’m starting to lose hope in them ever opening. Despite the UK government drawing a step by step guide into lifting the UK out of lockdown (like its flat pack furniture and not a critical pandemic) with cinemas due to open in April, I wouldn’t hold my breath seeing as our own human biology and its resistance is the actual measure of when it is safe to go out and about, not what our government says. So until everyone is vaccinated and has sustained the first few months of vaccination symptom free, I’m having to sift through Netflix and Amazon for something to watch, like I’m looking through a charity shop sale; without much luck. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for these streaming services, I (my dad) pay for them for Christ’s sakes and I know that one day I’ll be eating my words when I’m offered a Netflix deal that I (in a Vito Corleone voice) “cannot refuse”. However, unlike some of the creators on Netflix, I’ll make the most of this opportunity and be incredibly anal about what I want to make, even if it kills me. 

I feel like so many people are given the license to make whatever they want for Netflix and then I look at the trophy wall of Emmys that HBO has garnered over the years and consider their quality writers and casts. I would say most recently, shows like The Crown, Sex Education, Top Boy and Bridgerton are Netflix’s exceptions currently, being both of quality and giving us something we actually want to watch. And guess what all these shows have in common?! Not only are all the casts largely British but all productions of these shows are British too. The British quality of TV programmes for streaming services in the US is a win win for all; Americans get to watch our good quality TV and we get Golden Globes. Most notably, The Crown did exceptionally (as it always does) at this year’s Golden Globes, further proving the show's excellence despite controversy. I thoroughly praise Netflix's resistance to label the show “fiction” and the lengths it took in making the show as authentically as possible, despite the criticism. The awards speak for themselves and the Crown has scooped up several this year so far. 

To conclude, I want the cinemas to open just as much as anyone, but I’m happy to comply with the stay-at-home-and-watch-Netflix-rule for now. For now...Here’s everything I watched this February.

Annihilation (2018) as seen on Netflix

Netflix’s Annihilation starring Natalie Portman, Jennifer Jason Lee, Gina Rodriguez, Tessa Thompson and Oscar Issac was a multitude of things that were difficult to comprehend. This is not me saying this is a bad film, in fact its me saying the complete opposite as the complexity drew a tangible beauty to the film from beginning to end. I reeeaaalllyyy liked the beginning and how the first scene sucked you into the crazy and fanatical story that later unfolded. Natalie Portman as always was wonderful in this role, playing a biologist who enters another world in search of her husband, who’s gone missing on a similar expedition to hers. Like with most sci fi films, it was difficult to gather the meaning of such a film, however this lack of meaning didn’t draw away from the story or how it was portrayed, in slow and enigmatic shots that told the story with a natural pace. If you’ve seen / liked Ex Machina (2014), Annihilation has the same director and I would thoroughly recommend you watch this too as the way Alex Garland merges sci fi with horror is incredibly seamless.

Score: 10/10

Eastern Promises (2007)  as seen on Amazon Prime 

This film starring Naomi Watts, Viggo Mortensen and Vincent Cassel was incredibly dark and gritty. Even though I’m not Russian, I found Mortensen and Cassel’s Russian personas to be rather good for a Dane and a Frenchman. Their on screen chemistry was also really good and its make me wonder why I haven’t seen a film with these two in it before. The story follows Anna (Naomi Watts) a nurse and her hunt for the true identity and life of a baby that was born to a 14 year old girl. Nikolai and Kirill (Mortensen and Cassel) are Russian gangsters living in London and set about covering up this obscene scandal and getting rid of the product of it, a baby girl belonging to the condemned and now deceased child. It's a difficult plot to wrap your head around and like I said, it's incredibly dark. Actor and director David Cronenberg (A History of Violence 2005) directed this film and helped Viggo Mortensen with a nomination for Best Actor at the 2008 Academy Awards. 

Score: 8/10

Fifty Shades of Grey (2015) as seen on Netflix

So remember how I said I was DESPERATE for films this month...I watched Fifty Shades of Grey with zero expectations and I can say definitively that it was worse than I thought. It's a true miracle that both Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan still have careers 6 years after such a film was released and I personally wouldn’t rush to cast either acting in my film after seeing this. Harsh, I know but reputation is everything and when you sign onto something that instead of highlighting your acting abilities, highlights your body parts, what am I supposed to think... I’m all for body confidence and what not, but I feel like most of this film sort of abuses sexuality and sexual expressions. The fact is, the BDSM part of this film wasn’t even that bad, it was the characters that pissed me off the most and their LACK of character in fact. They were orchestrated in such a flat way and the only time where either one of them found any character was through the sex itself and the discussion of it, especially Anastasia’s character. The most profound and irritating thing about this film is that Anastasia’s life seemed to only have meaning when she met the so called handsome, charming, wonderful, drop dead gorgeous Christian Grey. What does that teach us about women people? I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, sexualising women in film and media shouldn’t be the only reason for them to be there. And the entirety of Fifty Shades of Grey is built upon that fact. Even though the novel was written by a woman, it definitely missed the point in giving us a strong female character who could both be into sex and taken seriously at the same time. Seems like a really hard thing to do in cinema as filmmakers either go for the over-hyped sexualised prostitute, the caring mother or the nun. Like female professionals have never had sex in their lives… think again. I like to wonder what it would’ve been like had it been Ms Grey and Christian as her submissive. Not only would that mix up the character dynamic and go against gender confirmation, it’d actually be interesting. But maybe I should just write that story altogether...To conclude, the characters in this film were flat and the entirety of the film hyped up sex and the act of it way too much. It's like making a film about walking or breathing. 

Score: 1/10

Malcolm & Marie (2021) as seen on Netflix

Malcolm & Marie received a lot of attention in the media and sadly not for the right reasons. In fact, what’s so childish about the backlash is that hardly any of it had to do with the filmmaking techniques Sam Levinson (Euphoria’s creator) used or the story he wrote. More of it had to do with Levinson’s controversial ideas about how the media likes to view and prod film like a goldfish in a bowl, acting ostentatiously towards the art and appearing woke as opposed to just seeing film for how it is. I gather many film critic’s egos were bruised when Levinson used the lead character, Malcolm (John David Washington) as a butcher to film critics. He says things like “I’m choosing to make a film that’s fundamentally political, but not everything I do is political because I’m Black” in reference to the ignorance of some film critics who stamp politics onto any black directed film, attempting to brand the films with their own understanding of the film as opposed to its real message and story. Malcolm spends the majority of the night loathing a fictional “white LA reporter” and betting on her exact words for his own film, about an African American woman trying to get off drugs. What he says is funny, so funny it's true. White reporters DO do this and instead of embracing Levinson’s satricalism, the real LA white reporters of our media got overly offended and used the “lack of story” card as a backdrop to fuel their distaste at being called out. Had they known Levinson’s intentions with this film, they wouldn’t have reviewed it all together as I’m sure Levinson knew what he was getting himself into when mentioning the annoying “white LA reporter” and making the stereotype central to the lead's frustrations towards the industry. Levinson also graciously mentions that even though Malcolm has such hatred towards the critics, he is their fuel and by making his so-called “art” he only joins them in the argument . Levinson made his bed when he made the film and I think he’s sleeping rather comfortably. No one even bothered to praise both Zendaya’s and Washington’s performances, which were phenomenal considering the circumstances and the added pressure of having to carry a whole story in one room using only each other to fulfil that story. The cinematography was ambitious and overall, it was a simple yet well executed story. What are y’all complaining about? 

Let's put egos aside and focus on the actual film for once, rather than how its perceived the articulation of your opinions towards it. 

Score: 10/10

Coming to America (1988) as seen on Amazon Prime

At this moment I truly was becoming a slave to streaming services. I wasn’t particularly leaping at the opportunity to watch this film, however I chose to watch it as I heard that Eddie Murphy was releasing a sequel this year. As someone who doesn’t like comedy, I found this rather funny in places but it's hard to laugh at the black stereotypes portrayed in such a film even when those stereotypes were perpetuated by a black person. There was also a lot of misogyny, something else that I don’t call comedy but just misogyny. I found it hard overlook these moments and kinda saw this element as the downfall to the film which detracted from any of the other comedic moments.

Score: 5/10

Do the Right Thing (1989) as seen on Amazon Prime

One of Spike Lee’s earlier films, Do The Right Thing is a film I’ve been dying to watch for quite some time. The film is like a fascinating book, with chapters on each of the plights of living in Brooklyn in the 1980s. Though it takes one character’s perspective, there are a multitude of other stories that can be found in this film, with them interlinking seamlessly and coming together at the end. This isn’t a film about race but rather one about anger and its potential to divide people, especially when things become heated and fingers are pointed. It covered a variety of perspectives which I like, almost like an episodic series where each episode is different and takes on a different character. This structure added variety to the film and allowed it to cover a multitude of topics in a small space of time. The structure of this film was only successful because its characters, who were funny, three dimensional and above all, had something to say. Director and writer Spike Lee played Mookie, the lead, a pizza delivery man and quite the f**k up on the streets of Brooklyn, using his mouth more than his actions to get by in life. I really liked the balance of moments of comedy and severity which had me laughing in places and immediately stopping afterwards. Well written and I commend Spike Lee for having written, directed and starred in the same film.

Score: 10/10

The Life Ahead (2020) as seen on Netflix

As an actress, Sophia Loren is one of my all time favourites. On seeing films such as A Special Day (1977) Two Women (1960) Marriage, Italian Style (1964), I began to appreciate the work of Sophia Loren and notice how much of an icon she still is today. Having picked up several awards over an expansive 71 YEAR career, she has been honoured many a time by the Golden Globes and Oscars as one of the finest actresses of all time. Her presence on screen is inspiring and she’s been often referred to as the Italian Marilyn Monroe for her beauty inside and out. Here at the age of 86, she plays a Holocaust survivor and foster mother who cares for a troubled boy in The Life Ahead. Loren’s character, Madame Rosa, eventually saving him from a miserable life thieving and selling drugs on the streets of Italian. Loren’s son, Edoardo Ponti directed this film for Netflix and was generous enough to give us Sophia Loren’s presence on screen once more by casting her in the film as the lead.

Score: 9/10

Gold (2016) as seen on Amazon Prime

I found Gold to be one of those talky, talky films that starts at the end and ends at the end (if that makes sense) which in my opinion isn’t the most courageous structure one could use, but is common in biopics. It either starts on the protagonist’s death bed or at the point where the police have just caught them and for Gold it was the latter. The appearance of women in this film was second to none and that’s not me saying the director should’ve added female characters for good measure or token but why make a film that only appeals to one demographic, despite the intensity of the story...film is universal after all and if a film appeals to one certain group then what’s the point of releasing it? This doesn’t detract from Matthew McConaughey’s performance though as a “prospector” looking for gold in Indonesia. Even saying this, the character was very typical of him and it didn’t truly stretch his ability as an actor, not like Dallas Buyer’s Club (2013), Killer Joe (2011) or Interstellar (2014) did. To sum up Gold into one word it’d be “meh”.

Score: 7/10

Creed (2015) as seen on Amazon Prime

This was one of the most surprising films of the month. I’m not crazy about the Rocky films nor see myself watching all of them anytime soon, but Creed appealed as a more modern take on the hit franchise. Michael B Jordan plays Adonis Creed, son of Apollo Creed, a champion boxer who died during a fight before Adonis was born. After being adopted by Apollo’s wife, Adonis Creed sets out to follow his father’s footsteps by becoming a champion heavyweight boxer himself, much to his maternal mother’s displeasure and his coach’s the one and only Rocky Balboa (Sylvester Stallone). The story is similar to that of Rocky and if anything, is a complete revival, using the son of one of Rocky’s former fighter as a backdrop to tell the story. Director Ryan Coogler (Black Panther 2018, Fruitvale Station 2013 ) brought this story to life and a courageous performance out of Michael B. Jordan. Not only was I fascinated by boxing by the end of the film, but just the whole idea of Adonis Creed, a fighter and not a quitter who thoroughly believes in pursuing your goals until they are obtained. Not only is this film for boxing fans but for those who share that same universal message and refuse to give into their own inhibitions to achieve great things. We should look to athletes more often in this respect and consider the pursuit of our own desires as boxing matches and marathon races more often as it helps put our fight into perspective and teaches us never to give in. 

Score: 11/10

Arrival (2016) as seen on DVD

Before anyone comes for me for not having seen Arrival, before I was a movie buff I had briefly come across the film several times but had never taken the time to sit it out and watch it from beginning to end. I’m glad I did as Denis Villeneuve is one of my favourite directors evah and along with Christopher Nolan, I consider him as the King of Sci Fi. Every single one of his films is incroyable (as the french say) and it's a mystery why he hasn’t been handed an Oscar yet. Arrival is this slow and beautiful story of a linguistics teacher (Amy Adams) who agrees to help on a mission to communicate with extraterrestrial life forms that have landed on planet earth in the form of twelve huge spaceships. Structure isn’t something we typically consider when watching a film, but it plays such an important part in Arrival for time and the manipulation of it is the main theme of this film. Essentially, the language in which Dr. Banks translates from the intelligent life form gives its readers the ability to see into the future, which is when we come to realize that she’ll have a child, who will die of an unnamed disease. Despite this fact, she decides to live the life fate intended for her. The reason why Arrival is a highly credible film is because of the coverage it has as a film in terms of what it's trying to say as a film. From someone who finds it hard to bring out the emotion of a screenplay, Arrival is a great example to me as a film that combines both a cinematic feeling and a strong emotional presence throughout the film. It doesn’t abandon emotions or relationships just because the film is about aliens, but instead embraces them into the story and intertwines them with the aliens who’ve come to planet earth. At the end of the day, we can have explosions, spaceships and aliens galore, but if we’re unable to connect with characters on an emotional level then the film becomes boring. Arrival is far from boring and may bring a tear or two to your eye by the end.

Score: 11/10

The News of the World (2020) as seen on Netflix

I feel like it's impossible to hate a film with Tom Hanks in it and The News of the World definitely fits into that.  Five years after the US Civil War, Cpt. Jefferson Kyle Kidd (Tom Hanks) spends his days travelling around the US ‘reading the news’ to anyone who’s willing to listen. The majority of the US was illiterate in the 19th Century, meaning it was up to people like Jefferson to inform others of the ongoings in the world by reading them the paper. It’s a wondrous thing to think about, how information was once spread throughout the world in such an archaic format. Jefferson did this off his own back, not asking for much and finding fulfilment in the reactions to the news that he “broadcasted” to them. Whilst on his travels, Jefferson comes across a young girl (Golden Globe nominee Helena Zengal) who’s negro family had been killed by lynchers. The girl was originally from a Native American tribe but had been separated by them, leaving her to fend for herself. When Jefferson comes across her, he’s reluctant to take her in at first but decides to take her to some relatives across the country. It’s definitely the role you expect of Tom Hanks and his heart warming nature is captured for us in this film for Netflix.

Score: 9/10

The Mask (1994) as seen on Netflix

It's hard for me to label The Mask as a good film as that would mean shaking off the horrendous amount of misogyny it has and the lack of diversity within its characters. Films mean different things for people, but ultimately most of them reflect an element of humanity and explore it on screen with originality and authenticity. Cameron Diaz’s character was only there to fulfil the sexual appetites of the men around her, which is something I loathe in female characters. Originality The Mask has, authenticity, not so much. That's probably the reason why I hate comedies so much, most of them are written by men and are about men so it can get quite boring to watch at times. I liked the idea of The Mask but it definitely could’ve been executed in a less misogynistic way. 

Score: 5/10

Jackie (2016) as seen on Amazon Prime

One word; perfection. This film was hands down one of the most beautiful, genuine and honest films I’ve seen in my entire life. It had me reminiscing Todd Haynes’ Carol (2015) in a number of ways, from the similar filmmaking techniques to the slow and melancholy atmosphere that was being created on screen. The AMAZING Natalie Portman plays Jackie Kennedy, wife of John F. Kennedy who was brutally assassinated on a visit to Dallas, Texas in 1963. The fact that I didn’t even KNOW that his poor wife was in the car with him at the point of the assassination is shocking. On watching the film, I learnt Jackie was a remarkable, brave and intelligent woman who after her husband's death put so much into preserving her husband’s legacy despite his lack of popularity. The way the film is shot and the music by the brilliant Mica Levi (Under the Skin 2013 , Monos 2019) just ties everything together into a enigmatic and wonderful film. Natalie Portman was nominated for Best Actress at the 2017 Academy Awards and rightly so. This film has further proven my thoughts on her as one of the greatest actresses of our time. I seriously cannot EXPRESS how much I love this film, directed by Chilean director Pablo Larraín, who’s also made another film that I can’t get enough of Ema, which was released 2 years ago.

Score: 12/10

Foxcatcher (2014) as seen on BBC iPlayer

When we first think of Steve Carell, our minds probably drift to his most notable performance as Michael Scott from The Office or even Gru in Despicable Me. It's rare for a so called “comedy” actor to find his way into films with a more dramatic substance and over the last few years, this is what Carell has been showing us on screen, with this role in Foxcatcher and more recently, in Felix van Groeningen’s Beautiful Boy (2018). Foxcatcher is the true story of a wrestler offered the opportunity to train with a private wrestling team owned by a huge chemical corporation. Channing Tatum plays Mark Schultz, a quiet and reserved wrestler who trains alongside his brother David (Mark Ruffalo), also a champion wrestler. What's sad to see in this twisted story is how validated Mark feels once the powerful and wealthy John Du Pont (Steve Carrell) begins to take an interest in him and takes him under his wing. This relationship drives a wedge between Mark and his brother David, but much to John’s displeasure, it doesn’t last long. This is definitely a story of power and how people can react in bad ways when they are owed too much of it. Every performance in this was astounding and the slow and subtle telling of the story was truly beautiful to watch. Foxcatcher is a film I’ve been dying to watch for some time and it DID NOT disappoint. Period. The film was also nominated for five Oscars back in 2015, including Best Actor and Best Supporting Actor. 

Score: 11/10

In Fabric (2018) as seen on BBC iPlayer

Based on the current reviews of In Fabric, I deem the film a poncy experimental spectacle. Not only did it not say much, but what it was trying to say was rather disturbing and quite frankly bizarre. However, it's not a film I can necessarily hate on as it is experimental, meaning from the get go, I shouldn’t be expecting any sort of clear cut narrative, with relationships, protagonists, conflict or hierarchies. Experimental films are more about exploring a central idea and having all its “characters'' not essentially prove the idea, but just talk about it, like a debate but everyone agrees in the end. A debate where everyone agrees would be boring, which is why I find experimental films to be boring as most of the time they don’t have a meaning and sadly as humans, we’re obsessed with finding the meaning of things or else we’ll go crazy. And I would say this film definitely left me crazy at the end, proving the idea of man’s constant need to find meanings in things. In Fabric wasn’t really relatable, funny, clever or bold. It kinda just...was.

Score: 5/10

Delicatessen (1991) as seen on DVD

I love how the world likes to think that the American film market is the only film market when in actuality the French created the actual concept of cinema and the idea to project “movies” onto a large screen. With this has come a plethora of incredible movies from France that have gone onto to change the film industry forever. There’s a reason why the most prestigious and exclusive film festival in the entire world is held in the South of France and not LA. Jean-Pierre Jeunet is the auteur behind Amélie (2001) one of the most well known independent films ever to be made and before Amélie came Delicatessen. This film is Tim Burton meets Wes Anderson but in French and tells the story of a man working for a butcher and the crazy characters he meets in the same apartment as him. By the end it's clear that The Butcher is selling more than pork and beef down in his store and that the new tenant is due to be the next item on sale. I loved how weird and larger than life the characters were and the otherworldly set design used for this film. There were so many moments that are quite hard to explain the beauty of them and if you’ve seen Wes Anderson or Tim Burton’s work, you’ll notice the similarities between this film and their work, perhaps showing a french influence on the current American market.

Score: 10/10

Amélie (2001) as seen on DVD

Continuing on with the French theme, I was reminded this month of the beauty of Amélie. Every, single, shot in this film is pure perfection and I bet all my money that Wes Anderson was a mega fan of this film when it came out. It's truly a film like none other and it’s only this time around did I realise how much I RELATE to Amélie. The way she sacrifices herself for others and gets nothing in return, the lengths she goes to tell someone something instead of JUST SAYING IT, her lack of friends, I can definitively say that there isn’t a character on screen that I’ve related to more than Amélie (besides Elio from cmbyn). If you haven’t seen Amélie have a word with yourself.

Score: 11/10

Pan’s Labyrinth (2006) as seen on Amazon Prime

Pan’s Labyrinth was a surprisingly amazing film and I wonder why I hadn’t seen it sooner. I was astounded to see it was in Spanish which I thought made the story somehow better. It's rare that we see such high budget and well known film that’s in a foreign language but I’m glad this film got the noise it did when it was released. Guillermo del Toro (The Shape of Water 2017) tells us the story of 10 year old Ofelia and her discovery of magical creatures in the woods that inhabit the outskirts of her new home. Not only that but it’s 1944. The Spanish Civil War has been over for five years but small groups of guerrilla rebels continue to fight against the new fascist dictatorship led by Francisco Franco. This is a well structured film that shows two strong worlds and combines them in a satisfying way, which isn’t an easy thing as sometimes films can get lost in the facts of history instead of the emotions and dynamic relationships. The set design in this was UNREAL as always and I really felt for the characters and their given circumstances. And that’s what we call a film.

Score: 11/10

I Care A Lot (2021) as seen on Amazon Prime 

For a full review of I Care A Lot, follow the link: https://ratingtheframe.tumblr.com/post/643763403606867968/a-strong-performance-from-rosamund-pike-that-we

Score: 8/10

Interview with a Vampire (1994) as seen on BBC iPlayer

We were doing SO WELL until I made the costly decision to watch this waffle of a film, directed by Neil Jordan. Not only was the story all over the place, but the dialogue itself was incredibly on the nose and self explanatory throughout. It feels like there was more talking about the film instead of showing the film, which just made me switch off from early on in the film. I hated the casting of Tom Cruise in this and there were moments when I believed his character, but none of them outweighed the overarched and over bearing performance he was attempting to give. Brad Pitt was marginally better but the performance of Kirsten Dunst who was 12 years old at the time this film was released, outdid both actors. She was the only character that I truly felt for / cared about and her on screen presence was both enviable and wise beyond her years. Personally, I can’t explain what this film was even about because I truly didn’t get what was going on, however if you’re a fan of Kirsten Dunst’s work, this would be a suitable film to watch in that respect. 

Score: 4/10

Fargo (1996) as seen on Amazon Prime

Fargo is probably most known as a Netflix series, but before that, it was originally a film directed by the Coen Brothers and starred the likes of Frances McDormand, Steve Buscemi, William H Macy and John Carroll Lynch. I’ve been meaning to watch Fargo for quite some time and I was not disappointed with the outcome of it. It's one of those good old fashioned crime films, with lots of twists and blood split throughout the film. The film won two Oscars in 1997; one for Best Actress which was handed to Frances McDormand playing a police officer investigating a string of murders in Minnesota and another for Best Original Screenplay. A really well constructed story with a fantastic cast and great cinematography work from Roger Deakins (1917 (2020), Blade Runner 2049 (2017) The Shawshank Redemption (1994). 

Score: 10/10

The Darjeeling Limited (2007) as seen on Amazon Prime

The Darjeeling Limited further proves to us Wes Anderson’s ability to create entire new worlds and show us stories that take place all across the world. Three brothers, Peter (Adrien Brody), Jack (Jason Schwartzman) and Francis (Owen Wilson) have travelled to India in an attempt to bond with one another “spiritually” after the death of their father. Peter and Jack aren’t too keen on this little expedition, irritated at their brothers' intrusiveness over the trip. The majority of the film is set on this fanatical train travelling across India and yet again, we are blessed with some phenomenal production design to tell us a fun and uplifting story. What’s more is that the boys’ mother (Anjelica Huston) lives in India as a nun at the foot of the Himalayas. This becomes the real reason for their venture and such a thing changes the character dynamics between the three men. India is shown in all its beauty in this film using the backdrop of three men’s relationship with one another as a story.

Score: 9/10

The Life Aquatic of Steve Zissou (2004) as seen on DVD

Another one of Wes Anderson’s lesser known films but equally as good as the rest, this film follows a group of marine explorers travelling across the pacific to try and kill a shark that supposedly ate a member of Steve Zissou (Bill Murray) ’s crew. With an all star cast composed of Bill Murray, Owen Wilson, Cate Blanchett, Jeff Goldblum and Anjelica Huston this film was entertaining, enlightening and cinematographically ambitious. Steve Zissou is a fictional character who makes a living off of extreme and dangerous marine explorations. He makes films of his travels using his crew and after screening his latest film, he meets a young man (Owen Wilson) claiming to be his son. Evidently, Zissou is reluctant to accept that this man is his son and uses his presence as financial gain to the project. I appreciated all performances in this film and the set design (as always with Anderson’s films) was exceptional.

Score: 9/10

Life of Pi (2012) as seen on Amazon Prime

A highly visual and emotional film that carries beauty throughout in both performance and story, Life of Pi was directed by Brokeback Mountain (2005)’s Ang Lee and tells the story of Pi (Suraj Sharma and Irrfan Khan) a young boy alone in the middle of the Pacific Ocean with a fully grown Bengal Tiger. Winner of 4 Academy Awards including Best Director at the 2013 Academy Awards, this film does a phenomenal job of reminding us why cinema is such a superior and infinite art form. Pi’s family are on their way from India to America, exporting a large number of their zoo animals in hope of selling them once they reach the other side of the world. After a horrendous storm ravages their cargo ship, Pi is left all alone in the ocean with what only appears to be a small dingy, but to his horror, he comes to find that the zoo’s tiger Richard Parker is keeping him company in the middle of the ocean. Now if that ain’t a viable story, then I don’t know what is. To make a film look like it was set in the middle of a Pacific and with a Bengal Tiger is no small feat. Suraj Sharma’s performance was both truthful and powerful, despite the film being mostly shot in a studio with nothing but animation for Richard Parker. This is one of very few films that does the original novel justice. 

Score: 11/10

Capone (2021) as seen on Netflix

Yikes. Capone has not been getting a lot of love in the media since its release on Netflix on 24th February. Personally, it's not the most god awful, offensive film I’ve seen and yet I wouldn’t have been the one to have made such a film either. The film is supposed to depict the last year of the infamous and notorious Al Capone, who suffered from numerous illnesses at only the age of 48. Tom Hardy plays the blood thirsty gangster and I have to say, this was a thoughtless casting choice. Hardy doesn’t have an ounce of Italian in his face and he put on this larger than life caricature of an accent that had me feeling rather sorry for him at moments when I shouldn’t have been. The acting was exceptional, but believable and interesting? That’s another argument altogether. Cinematography and sound wise, I thought the film was excellent in those respects but again, those should be additions to the integral story of a film. I get why Hardy signed up though, what actor wouldn’t want to play a mob boss? Maybe the point of Al’s life in which this film was built upon was perhaps wrong for the screen and I’m sure most would have preferred Hardy to play Capone at his peak. This film is a clear example of people getting ahead of themselves when they first explore an idea for a film. This film could have easily been saved in the development stage had someone said let’s not do this.

Score: 5/10

Creed II (2018) as seen on Amazon Prime

Obviously a prequel will always outdo a sequel, however I found Creed II to be just as meaningful as the first film. Maybe even more so as Adonis Creed (Michael B Jordan) is becoming a father his responsibilities have shifted dramatically. He’s also desperate to fight Viktor Drago, a Ukrainian ruthless boxer whose father accidentally killed Creed’s father in a match decades before. Drago is tough, beyond what he and his coach Rocky (Sylvester Stallone) could ever imagine and because of this, it drives a wedge between Adonis’ relationship with his coach. Creed thinks Rocky doesn’t believe he can beat Drago but Rocky insists not fighting the bull of a boxer would benefit him greatly, after all, look what happened to his father. The character dynamics have shifted in this sequel, but the structure has remained largely the same. We kind of knew what we were being served at the end and the change in character was there for everyone.

Score: 10/10

...and that’s it! Everything I watched this February, you do not want to KNOW how long this list took to compile. Thanks for reading and see you next month!

ig: @ratingtheframe

[momentsofbllove]

A year of BL Love

I discovered BL for the first time this year, and boy what a year it was! I wanted to write up a quick and simple review of the shows that I watched just to finish off the year. So here goes! (Spoilers EVERYWHERE. So... be careful.)

Shows that I loved, will definitely rewatch in the future, and will skip very little of when I do:

The Untamed - beautiful story, beautiful production, all around worth every second of the 50 episodes. technically not a BL because of censorship, but still managed to portray the most beautiful love story I watched all year. Wang Yibo and Xiao Zhan deserve every second of the acclaim and praise they have received for this masterpiece! 10/10

Until We Meet Again - I love every couple in this series with all my heart! a lot of people felt it was slow but I honestly just thought it was a beautiful story full of love and heartache and friendship and just... uhg, everything. I will rewatch this one again and again and again. 10/10

Like In The Movies - this one was heartbreaking and hopeful and beautiful and tragic and sweet and just altogether perfect in every way. I need the sequel right now immediately please! 10/10

He’s Coming To Me - this one was so good?!! I don’t know how a show about a love story between a ghost that was murdered 20 years ago and a university student could be so perfect, but it was? the only thing that was a little iffy was the previous relationship between Met and Thun’s mom. this one is sweet and sad (Met is dead afterall) and has love and mystery and good side characters and friendships. yeah. just altogether great. 9/10

HIStory 3: Trapped - fascinating story (I want so many more BL’s that AREN’T set in high school/university please!) and great chemistry between both couples. the acting was fantastic and the storyline was compelling. I truly love this show except for the fact that we’re not getting that sequel they were hinting at and that makes me SAD because it makes the ending hurt so much even if it was a hopeful one. 9/10

HIStory 2: Crossing the Line - cute story, amazing actors, wonderful side characters, just all around great! the only reason it’s not getting a perfect score is because I feel very OLD when watching highschool storylines. it makes the intimate scenes... awkward. even if the actors are adults. 9/10

Where Your Eyes Linger - loved the storyline, loved the chemistry and dynamics of the couple, the ending was rushed and left me wanting so much more, but since it was one of the first Korean BL’s to ever be produced it was wonderful. 8/10

Cherry Magic - I love Adachi and Kurosawa with all my heart! this show was so good. so so good! the only reason I’m not giving it a higher rating is because Tsuge and Minato’s storyline gives me so much secondhand embarrassment ALL THE TIME! but they’re still so cute despite that, so it’s not horrible. Rokkaku and Fujisaki are SO CUTE and the perfect side characters. basically this show is perfect (except for the second hand embarrassment) and the fact that we never got a proper kiss. like... I don’t need skinship in every BL show I watch, but that last second cutaway in the end was just... frustrating. 8/10

Theory of Love - OffGun have my whole heart and are 80% of the reason I love this show so much. but also I really liked the story line and the way Third and Kai’s relationship progressed throughout the show. it had a perfect resolution for all the couples (including the teacher/student ‘couple’ which I usually HATE) and was definitely a stand out from all the multitude of ‘university’ shows out there. 8/10

3 Will Be Free - this was was so interesting and lovely and tragic and I loved every single second of it... up until the last ten minutes. I almost put it lower just because of the ending. we deserved a happy, loving bisexual polyship d*mn it! but I’ll definitely rewatch it again. and stop right before the end when I do. 8/10

Because of You 2020 - ridiculous nonsense that I will gladly watch again! really there is no justifying this one being in my top list because it is NONSENSE but it makes me happy and that’s all that matters. all three couples are adorable and the last scene makes me smile so much! 8/10

Shows that I liked and will probably watch again, but will be skipping a lot of parts when I do: 

My Engineer - this show should be in my top list. but I HATE BohnDuen so much. so so much. and they are the main couple. so because of them when I rewatch this show (which I have several times now) I have to skip 60% of it because I really really hate them. so much. but the other three couples make up for it - especially RamKing who GIVE ME LIFE - so it’s at the top of my ‘not the top’ list. 7/10

Mr. Heart - this one was cute, but I felt like the couple was very... lop-sided. Sang Ha was almost obsessed with Jin Won before they ever even properly met and that gave me a weird feeling. their relationship was cute by the end, but... idk. and the whole side story with Sang Ha and the debt collectors was... odd. I felt like it was a very serious storyline that they did not take seriously at all. very off-putting. but altogether the show was cute enough, and short enough, to deserve a rewatch. 6/10

Why R U - I just... did not like SaifahZon. like... at all. Zon’s character annoyed me, their dynamic was... off, and Zon’s sister makes me so mad I can’t watch her at all. I adore FighterTutor (they are one of my favorite couples which is why this show is still getting such a high rating) and I have rewatched their part of the show 3 times now. but the rest, including the THREE other side couples (seriously? 5 couples in one show? why? it’s too f*cking much!)... no. no thank you. 6/10

Roommates The Series - it was cute, and did very well on a VERY low budget and a very limited cast because they filmed during the pandemic (or after the worst of it was over in their country at least). the side female characters were great (a rarity in BL’s for sure!) and there was a few really great scenes that I loved. altogether a bit of a lackluster show compared to others, but definitely worth at least one watch. 6/10

Tharntype - I know how problematic this show is, alright? but it’s fictional, and sometimes people like things in their fictional stories that they HATE in real life... all the very serious consent issues for one. that being said, if I had been watching the show as it aired I probably would have given up on it by, like, episode 2. as it was I knew everything that happened before I ever started watching and that gave me the freedom to appreciate the storyline for what it would become at the end. I love MewGulf and the way they portrayed Tharn and Type. I thought Tar’s storyline was interesting and heartbreaking and he is a precious bean that I want to protect with all my heart. however, a big factor in this series not making it into my top list is the handling of Lhong and the ending of his story. you want me to feel sorry for that monster? are you kidding me?!! he should have been locked up in prison for the rest of his life, not had Tharn’s brother come APOLOGIZE to him as if he was the one who was wronged. if that hadn’t happened, despite all the problematic things in this show, I would probably have put this in my top list. 6/10

Wish You - this one had SO MUCH POTENTIEL. the storyline was unique, the ‘twist’ reveal was interesting, and the main characters had a lot of chemistry. and everything was RUSHED RUSHED RUSHED! this show needed at LEAST 5-6 more episodes. there was no time to develop the relationship between In Soo and Sang Yi, and I wanted them to so badly! there was no time to deal with the ‘twist’ and the fallout that happened from it. everything just happened and then you moved on, and then more things happened and you moved on. uhg. despite all that I’m putting this one a little higher because the actors, writing, and production value were very good. but gosh do I wish there was so much more of it. the wasted potential is painful. 6/10

The Effect - wow. this one was... not what I was expecting. be cautious of watching this because it could be VERY triggering. but the acting was PHENOMENAL! I think they took a very dark and serious subject and portrayed it with a lot of care. one of the best things about it was Shin’s friends reaction to his trauma and how carefully and kindly they helped him heal. beautiful to watch! the only reason this is not getting a higher rating is because that ending was INFURIATING! absolutely unforgivable for them to leave it so ambiguous like that. Shin deserved to have a clear and obvious happy ending. not... whatever the hell that was. 6/10

Love By Chance - AePete are precious and adorable and I love them. But Ae’s possessiveness in the later episodes really bothers me, the fact that Perth was 17 when they were filming really bothers me, and once AePete get together halfway through the show it’s like they just get dropped to focus on TinCan which is a couple I can’t stand even a little. and don’t even get me STARTED on Techno and Kengkla. just... just don’t. that whole ‘relationship’ is 85% of the reason I refuse to watch the sequel. altogether, I probably WON’T watch this one again, but I probably would at least have watched the AePete and TumTar (yes, I liked them leave me alone about it) storylines if Perth wasn’t so young, so I’m still giving it a 5/10

Together With Me - MaxTul are fire both on and off screen and I love them with all my heart, but I hated, like, 95% of the show that wasn’t strictly about them. teacher/student storyline? gross. couple with a huge age-gap that ends up being super toxic and emotionally destroying a sweet and lovely character? thanks, I HATE IT. yet another BL portraying the girlfriend as a conniving b*tch so that we’re okay with one half of the main couple being a cheater while they figure out their sexuality crisis? ew ew and more ew. honestly if it wasn’t for the fact that they had two fantastic side female characters (again, such a rarity in BL’s!) and the pure intense chemistry between KornKnock this show probably would have been put even lower. 5/10

Dark Blue Kiss - I can’t stand PeteKao? like... why do so many people love them so much? Pete is SO JEALOUS ALL THE TIME! I just want to smack him! and he’s also completely not understanding of Kao’s fear of coming out. he basically spent the entire show sabotaging his own relationship and then blaming it all on Kao! uhg. no. just no. but I love SunMork with all my heart and wanted them to have so much more development and screen time. it would have made the final scene with them so much better if they had just had TIME to really show their relationship and how it grew, instead of just getting them together and deciding that was good enough. I’ll watch their part again I’m sure, but only their part. 5/10

Shows that were very subpar - I may rewatch some of these for a specific couple but only if I’m really bored and feel like skipping 80% of the show:

#MyDay - I know there’s a lot of people that really like this one. but... oof. the writing was so bad. so so bad! the pacing of the show was weird, there were some major moments that needed a LOT more attention, and some minor moments that got way more screen time than they needed. things were just... awkward all the time when they weren’t meant to be. and again, we have a character that needed to go TO PRISON but ended up being forgiven in the end. just... no. I’m honestly only putting this show as high as I am because the chemistry between Ace and Sky was fantastic. but that wasn’t enough to save this trainwreck. I might watch the sequel for them. maybe. but also maybe not. 4/10

Quaranthings - this one had so much potential but was honestly just so subpar in the end. I really just don’t even have much to say about it. it’s worth watching, I guess. but put it at the bottom of your list, after you’ve watched all the better stuff. 4/10

YYY (and the 3 special eps) - look... weird shows are just not my thing. I love Lay and his portrayal of Punn, Nott was okay as the lead character, but the side characters and storylines were... bizarre. I get that it was supposed to be a parody of other BL’s and their tropes... but honestly I like tropes. and this show was just... too bizarre. especially the three special episodes. in fact... I’m just now remembering I never watched the 3rd one. oops. 4/10

En of Love - This was such a mix and match of good and bad. I didn’t like Tossara AT ALL. Gun pressured Bar into that relationship, including flat out blackmailing him with his necklace to force him to go out with him! they may have been happy in the end, but Bar was CLEARLY uncomfortable with Gun’s advances for most of the first three episodes and it really grossed me out. I kind of liked Mark and Vee together, but the issue with Mark’s girlfriend was frustrating and their whole relationship was just a little bit toxic. and I actually liked Neua and Pra-Ram... AFTER they let us know that Pra-Ram was a legal adult. I hated their relationship up until they had the birthday party because I thought Pra was 17. I’m still a little iffy about a very experienced third year student in university dating a very inexperienced high school student. but at least it wasn’t ILLEGAL. oof. 4/10

HIStory 1: Obsessed/Stay Away from Me/My Hero - My Hero and Stay Away From Me were cute enough although I’ll probably never rewatch them, but Obsessed was toxic and horrible and gross in all senses of the word. -4 for that one which puts the whole series at a 3/10

Tien Bromance - y’all this one is... I don’t even know how to describe it. weird. bizarre. confusing. badly written. strangely acted. (the acting wasn’t bad... it was just... strange.) I watched the special episodes first and thought it was just a cute little domestic family drama with some strange moments. then I watched the rest. and the fact that the first episode started off with a ghost possessing and killing like 8 people while they were on vacation at a lake was the least weird thing that happened. 3/10

Craving You - no. the storyline makes no sense. why are a popular cake baker and an upcoming musician partnering together? why? it doesn’t make any sense! And one of the lead actors is just SO BLAND. I think he was going for ‘quiet and sad’ but just ended up with ‘emotionless and boring’. the most compelling part of the show was the side character dealing with the unexplored feelings that he had for his first love that were denied to him by a homophobic family and how those feelings are now interfering with his current relationship. the rest was pointless and bland. 3/10

My Gear and Your Gown - I liked this one SO MUCH for the first 3-4 episodes. then is went downhill and FAST. Pai and Itt had no chemistry for the last 8 episodes. they spend the whole show angry at each other and then we’re just supposed to accept them getting together in the end because Itt confessed his feelings. like... that’s not enough! the best part of the show was PureFolk. Pure finally believing in love again because he met the ray of sunshine and sweetness that is Folk? yes please! but even their storyline was not fantastic because it got rushed and pushed aside in the end to focus on Pai and Itt breaking up AGAIN and having to deal with the issue of homophobic parents for all of one episode. the last episode was so pointless! there was no reason to shoehorn in that last little bit of drama. none. 3/10

Oxygen - uhg. I do not understand why so many people liked this one so much. Solo’s feelings for Gui were UNHEALTHY. he became obsessed with him over one tiny act of kindness! that’s... that’s not love. that is a broken young boy desperately seeking out love and forcing it onto someone because he doesn’t know what it’s supposed to be like. and the side story with the fujoshi barista and her brother and the doctors was creepy and weird. the only good part of this show was PhuKao but they got about 3 minutes of screen time per episode. I would watch a sequel with them in a heart beat, but leave everyone else out of it! 2/10

Shows I’m currently watching but haven’t finished airing yet so my rating may change:

Manner of Death - this show is EVERYTHING! the murder mystery, the suspense, the suspicion, the CHEMISTRY! I have no idea what’s going on or who I trust or don’t trust (except for Dr. Bunn and Sorn, they are precious rays of sunshine!) but I love every second of it. MaxTul are FIRE and I am so so happy to get to watch them in a story like this! 10/10

Ingredients - this show is EVERYTHING! and yes, I just said that about MoD, but this one is on the complete opposite side of the ‘everything’ spectrum and I love it with all my heart. Win and Tops are SO. FREAKING. CUTE! their pining for each other for eighteen d*mn episodes was so beautiful and sweet and infuriating! their love for each other as friends above all else is precious and perfect! and now that they’re actually together my heart just bursts every time I see them. I think the series only has 1 or 2 episodes left and I am DEVESTATED because I want 20 more! 10/10

TonhonChonlatee - I watched the first two episodes then stopped. I’ve been ‘watching’ the rest via people’s reactions to new episodes online. I get that Tonhon’s homophobia and toxic masculinity is supposed to be awful and is a major plot point in the show... but I don’t want to f*cking WATCH it! I’m hoping we’re getting to a point in the show where he’s calming the f*ck down and starting to learn better and BE better. I want to watch this show. but I can’t watch THAT. 3/10

Color Rush - this one has started off fantastically! the story is interesting and the characters are compelling already. but... I can tell you right now that it’s going to go the way of all the other Korean BL’s that came out this year. it’s not going to have enough time. AT ALL. it’s going to be rushed, I just know it. I applaud Korea for getting into BL’s in the first place and for giving us such interesting storylines and characters to watch, but these 10 minute, 8 episode shows are KILLING me with want of better development! 7/10

Well dang! That was... a lot! lol! Sorry for making such a long post, but BL’s have been such a huge part of my life this year I really just wanted to get my thoughts and feelings about everything out. I was originally going to make a part of the post be about my favorite (and not favorite) couples, but I’m going to end this here and put the couples in their own post.

My ask box is always open to discuss any and all shows on this list. You agree with my faves and want someone to talk to about them, hit me up! You disagree with my not-faves and want to tell me why... let me hear your opinion. You have suggestions for shows that I definitely should have watched by now but have somehow looked over... give them to me! I’ve got a whole new year to fill with beautiful couples and interesting stories!

[hopelessly-ever-after]

BL Drama Ratings/Thoughts Pt.3

SOTUS: The Series     8/10

This drama was the most recommended for me to watch, and it did not disappoint. I really enjoyed both leads Kongpob and Arthit; whatever they felt they made sure you felt it too. I cried with them, laughed with them, got mad with them, everything. I enjoyed the chase in this drama and it gave just enough of everything. If you’re looking for raunchy, this isn’t the drama for you.

I have yet to start the second season (there are just soooo many dramas to watch) but I know I’ll eventually get around to it. Singto and Krist are just so adorable together and such a pleasure to see them on the same screen.

Addicted     8/10

I started this drama because I heard of how much of a controversy it started, and was like “ooooh interesting”. And now I’m like “this is why curiosity killed the cat.” If you don’t like to feel random, out of no where, reoccurring pain for the remainder of your life, don’t watch this drama. lol. Just when I think I’m over this entire situation, I see the tiiiiiiiniest smidge of content and I feel it all over again.

I really enjoyed this drama, even though there were a few moments where I was like “noooo honey, noooooo,” it is still overall very good. I loved watching their pranking bromance morph into various forms of love. It showed very real things that can happen with love, and it did not shy away from any of the “tougher” topics. There is a reason why the title of this drama is called “Addicted”, it really says it all.

So, why do I feel pain? You may ask. Aside from that ending, there is a whole controversy about this drama. Long story, short; China banned the last three remaining episodes from airing and then the actors were kept separate from each other (literally). I’m talking about not being able to sit next to each other at award shows, not being able to stand on the same stage as one another, literally. A whole mess. 

While I am thankful that this drama brought so much fame and foundation under both of these actors belt, it’s really just a shame that we will never be able to see how their story will end on screen and to see them develop. Much love to Gu Hai and Bai Luo Ying.

Together With Me     10/10

Someone once told me “the first 10 seconds, that’s all it takes”.....AND THEY WERE RIGHT! Holy crap, is that a way to start off a series. My jaw was on the floor! This drama will have you feeling all sorts of emotions and frustrations, but also, it knows how to tie up loose ends really well. 

Together With Me is the “pre-quel” to the KornKnock story line in Bad Romance, which then is followed by Together With Me: The Next Chapter. Korn and Knock were childhood friends that were reunited in college. After an eventful drunk night, their relationship takes on a whole new turn.

Out of the 3 dramas, this is by far, my favorite one. My heart strings were being tugged the entire time, and the actors/actresses did a phenomenal job with making you fall in love with them (or hate them, *cough*  Plern Pleng *cough*). The MaxTul chemistry is out of this world, and their scenes....are...B E A U T I F U L.  Not only are they adorable on screen, but off screen as well, which just helps with everything more. 

(For the record I just wanted to say: I do not like the BrightFarm relationship and I never will! It’s just a messed up relationship all the way around. Complete miss for me. Lord, I don’t know why they ever created a relationship like this.)

Bad Romance     5/10

There is a reason why it’s called Bad Romance. It’s actually a quite fitting title, as everything went from “OKAY to OH NO”. 

We get two relationship focuses: Yihwa/Cho and Korn/Knock. It started off as a rom-com drama; super cute, lighthearted, all about the chase and silly misunderstandings. But then towards the middle-end, you get hit with a thriller/mystery drama and super human powers??? Yes, you read that right. I was just as confused, as it seems like all logic just disappeared from the writer’s mind as this story line progressed. There a lot of plot holes, unfortunately, and my excitement to watch this drama diminished quickly. (I’m still confused to this day as to how Being acquired the strength to lift Tanguy off the floor.)

The Yihwa/Cho relationship plays off on the whole trope of “strong, independent girl who doesn’t need a man, but is slowly swayed by attractive playboy”. I enjoyed Yihwa’s character very much, ever since Together with Me. She gave off the vibes of “I don’t need this bullshit. I don’t need a man to give me value”, and I enjoyed it! Cho is as dreamy as ever. Lots of props were given to Yihwa for not folding like a chair, because I for damn sure would have. *haha.

Ahhh, KornKnock. As if they couldn’t get any more cute, this drama comes around to tell you “YES THEY CAN!” KornKnock’s relationship really hit some major bumps in this drama, but there is nothing that love cannot conquer. While I was a weeee-bit annoyed that for majority of this drama they were always in a petty fight, you cannot deny their chemistry together.

Out of three dramas that feature these storylines, this is by far my least favorite one (even with TWM: Next Chapter being a whole ass mess within itself). I wouldn’t miss this drama if it wasn’t for MaxTul, tbh.