#give sam bonds outside Dean

[hexedwinchester]

another human that bonded with Sam but was taken too quickly..

r o b b e d

we were so robbed. imagine magda calling sam with fear in her voice because she’s scared she’s losing control and sam dropping everything to go help her. imagine sam connecting with his own powers accidentally while trying to teach her how to control hers. imagine what kind of storyline we could have had!!!

[cak3art]

SOMEBODY EXPLAIN

Why are there no SPN/TWD crossovers where dean and Sam are Negan’s kids??? Like am I the only one who thinks that’s a good plot idea?? And would make a lot more sense??? Please??????

[darkshrimpemotions]

People miss the point about Dean's interaction with Marta the post office lady in 14x13 so hard and it's FRUSTRATING.

No, it's not a reversal of the running gag about older women finding Sam attractive (which is gross anyway because it usually involves playing his obvious discomfort at being touched without consent for laughs). It is also not just Dean trading on his looks and flirting to get what he wants.

The point is to illustrate a significant difference between the brothers!

Specifically how they interact with the community of Lebanon, and what that says about their characters.

At this point in the show, Sam and Dean have now lived in Lebanon for like, six and a half years. And yet Sam approaches this woman like he would approach any stranger or witness in any random town in the country. And she reacts to him like any witness would to a strange man asking questions--with caution and some level of suspicion. It is incredibly clear that they don't know each other at all, despite how long they've been living in the same community.

But Dean knows her! And not just by sight and in passing. He's on a first name basis with her! He asks about her grandson and she readily answers! She knows his first name, too! They very clearly have an established report and have talked many times, enough times for her to have complained to him about her "spoiled little jerk" of a grandson!

This scene establishes that Dean is a known entity to at least some of the people of Lebanon. A known and LIKED entity. Trusted, even! He has truly put down roots there in a way that Sam has not, despite them living there for the same amount of time. He's bonded with people he sees regularly. He has little interactions with them offscreen all the time. That tells us something about Dean as a character!

And if it's a reversal or play off of anything, it's 1x11 (Scarecrow) when Dean fails to convince a couple who is in danger to let him fix their car so they can leave town sooner. Dean assumes (incorrectly IMO) that it's because HE specifically comes off to "normal people" as abnormal and dangerous, whereas Sam would be able to convince them with just a sincere look. In reality, of course, it probably has more to do with Dean being a total stranger, with no obvious credentials for car-fixing other than his word, in an unfamiliar place, than it does any inherent quality of Dean himself.

Because the key is, Dean isn't putting in any special effort in either scene. The way he approaches the couple is a contrast to how he usually handles cases. There's no costume, no subterfuge, and no alias. He isn't trying to fool either the couple in 1x11 or Marta in 14x13 into liking and trusting him. He's just being himself and telling the truth in both scenes (maybe not ALL the truth, but the essential basics). It works on Marta because she already knows and likes him. It doesn't work on the couple because he's a stranger to them.

So in 14x13 (and at other times in the show too) we see that Sam is not any better with people than Dean, especially when he makes no effort. He in fact gives off somewhat alarming vibes to strangers when he doesn't present with some kind of subterfuge that engenders immediate trust (i.e. being an FBI or insurance agent). (Think of Amelia's initial reaction to him in season 8 for example.) And this is true even for people who have almost certainly seen him around before, in the town he's lived in for over half a decade.

And the fact that he has made no effort to get to know his neighbors is telling in itself. Sam isn't any more automatically trustworthy to regular people than Dean unless he puts in specific effort to be. Costumes and aliases, fake credentials, even that specific face and voice he uses to talk to witnesses are all effort he has to put in. And that effort is not something that comes naturally to him or occurs to him outside of the context of a case. (I think we also see in season 6 exactly how much conscious effort those things require of him, given that without a soul he not only lacks personability but is downright impatient with and insulting to people.)

It's actually Dean who's good at building bonds, establishing casual report, and eliciting trust from people. And moreover, it's Dean who thinks to make the effort to do so. Sam is better at leading hunters specifically, but that's a whole different story and meta.

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

Family

Dean Winchester x little sister!reader, Sam Winchester x little sister!reader

Requested by Anonymous

Synopsis: You’re the Winchester’s little sister, but you don’t look anything like them, which causes some problems occasionally

“Just one room.”

“She legal?” The motel clerk glanced at you, then frowned at Sam and Dean.

“She’s our sister,” Dean said, disgusted, while Sam scowled at the guy.

The man scoffed.

“Your sister? Right, do I look stupid?”

You felt your head droop, and tried to push away the hurt that stabbed at you. You didn’t blame the guy for wondering; you were John Winchester’s daughter, but Mary wasn’t your mother. You took after your mother in looks, meaning you looked nothing like your brothers. That might not have bothered you as much, if you also hadn’t spent the first several years of your life with your mom, away from your brothers. You saw the intense bond they had, and you couldn’t help but feel like an outsider, even though you hardly remembered life before them.

Trying to compete with the years they had before you felt like an uphill battle. And it definitely didn’t help when every new person you met acted like it wasn’t anywhere near the realm of possibility that you were family.

“Just give me the dang room key,” Dean growled. The guy looked skeptical, but you figured he wasn’t paid enough to bother arguing, and he handed over the key. “Thank you,” Dean said a little too aggressively, and the three of you went to find your motel room.

“Sorry,” you weren’t sure why you mumbled an apology to Dean, and he turned to you in confusion.

“Don’t apologize, he’s an idiot,” Dean swung an arm around your shoulder as he led you to the room. “He’s going on looks alone, but blood runs deeper, little sister.”

…

“Hey, sorry, family only,” a nurse held out his hand to stop you as you tried to enter Dean’s hospital room.

“She is family,” Sam insisted, trying to lead you around the man.

“Look sir, it’s just our policy.”

Sam turned to glare at the man.

“I told you, she’s family.”

“It’s ok Sam,” you mumbled. “Just go in, Dean’s probably anxious to see you.”

“No, it’s not ok,” Sam insisted. “Sir, she’s our sister, and she’s going in that room.”

“I…excuse me, you’ll have to talk to one of my superiors,” the man slipped away, and Sam turned to you.

“Dean wants to see you, too. I’m getting you in there.”

“He’d rather see you anyway, it’s really ok.”

Sam’s head cocked to the side.

“What? What are you talking about, Dean wouldn’t-“

“Sam, please don’t lie to me,” your eyes fell to the white tile floor as you avoided Sam’s penetrating stare. “You and Dean are like-like totally inseparable, and I don’t want to get in the way anyway. If they won’t let me in, Dean will be fine, but he needs to see you.”

“That’s ridiculous!” You jumped a little at Sam’s outburst, and he lowered his voice to avoid attention. “Kid, Dean wants to see you just as much as he wants to see me. You’re his little sister, in the same way that I’m his brother. And the same goes for me,” Sam knelt on the ground so that his face invaded your lowered eyes, and you had no choice but to look at him. “Sweetheart, your family. You deserve that title every bit as much as Dean and me.”

“I’m not even a real Winchester,” you blinked rapidly as tears stung your eyes. “We don’t even have the same mom. I don’t look anything like you guys.”

“You think that matters?” Sam sounded so heartbroken. “Y/N that means nothing, ok? You’re our sister, our family. You mean every bit as much to me as Dean does, and don’t you ever forget that. Understand?”

“Alright, what seems to be the trouble here?” A woman asked as she approached you and Sam.

“No problem,” Sam insisted. “I’m taking my sister in to see our brother, if you have a problem with that, too bad.” He brushed past the woman, guiding you with a firm hand on your shoulder as the two of you entered Dean’s room.

“Sam,” you whispered before you got within earshot of Dean. Sam hummed. “I understand. Thanks.”

Sam grinned.

“Anytime, little sister.”

[zepskies]

Hey loved your Sam having a crush on Dean's gf! I was wondering if I could request the flipped version where Dean has a crush on Sam's gf 😏😏

Oh my God, hun! 🫢

The way I didn't even contemplate this!! But it's so delicious...

(And thank you for reading that Dean imagine! It was angsty, but oh so fun. 😘)

See this imagine for context: You are Dean's one exception.

Word Count: 1,300

Imagine: Dean gives you an impossible choice.

Dean hates this. He hates it more than anything.

He hates the look of you, all soft curves and smiles that brighten your eyes. Your hair looks even softer.

(He wants to tangle his fingers in it, tight, until your voice echoes in his ear.)

He hates that you bake cookies on Saturdays. (He also hates that you're learning how to make pies, just because he mentioned off-handedly that you should try. If your snickerdoodles are this good, he can only imagine what you could do with some cherry filling.)

He hates that you greet him, every morning, without fail, with a hand on his shoulder and asking how he's slept. (Even better if you'd joined me, he thinks.)

And then his mind gets truly creative, imagining all the ways he could make you lose sleep. All the ways his hands and tongue could get creative, tracing the contours of your body.

He hates all of that too.

But what he hates most of all?

That you're Sammy's girl.

Sam's known you longer, since college. The two of you reconnected after the second apocalypse diverted. Or was it the third one? Dean's lost count at this point.

So you're smart. Sam studied Latin, but you studied Greek and Spanish, and even symbology. You consider yourself a linguist -- a fact that had Dean grinning from the moment he met you...

But as many times as he made you blush and smile with his charm and a well-placed joke, it was Sam who hooked you with one of his dimpled smiles and asking you for help on a case.

You'd agreed, for him. The two of you bonded over your nerddom, with heads bowed over ancient texts and shared personal history, and Dean tried not to feel like an outsider.

And yet, even when you fell for his brother. Even when you moved into the bunker, taking up his counter space with your ridiculous baking appliances. Even when you doted and touched and kissed and promised Sam more with your eyes, Dean couldn't shake the feeling that he'd missed his chance.

So Dean backed off. He made excuses not to be around you and Sam when it got too much for him. Had to ignore the way his stomach churned (and maybe his heart clenched too).

...Until his chance comes. He sees it.

He's also a bit drunk.

"Aw, Dean. You okay?" you ask, picking up a large, empty bottle of whiskey by his hand, which still holds a fifth of a glass.

"Oh, I'm good," he replies, raising his brows with a smile. "I'm real good."

You snort with a laugh. He smirks at the sound; he would never admit it, but a small part inside him always swells with warmth when he makes you laugh.

You bring him a glass of water with just a few cubes of ice. You know he doesn't like it packed to the top. "Drink this."

"What's the magic word?" Dean teases, even as you take the glass tumbler out of his hand.

You then sit next to him at the kitchen table and offer him a wry smile, resting your chin in your hand while your elbow rests on the table. "Please, will you hydrate yourself?"

"Already did," Dean remarks.

"Dean," you say, more seriously gesturing to the water. "Please."

He hesitates. But seeing your face, he finally rolls his eyes and dutifully sips at the tall glass of water.

You reach out for his shoulder. His inebriated gaze is drawn to your hand, the smooth skin of your arm, and back to your face that shows soft concern.

"You don't drink like this unless something's on your mind," you say.

Dean falters. When did you get to know him so well?

"What, a man can't drink alone anymore?" he says wryly.

"He can, but he's gonna have to spill his guts sooner or later," you smirk. Dean grimaces at the image. Suddenly the Jameson sloshing around in his gut doesn't feel all that nice. But the longer he looks at you, the worse he feels.

"Trust me, you don't wanna know," he says. He gestures, with the hand that holds his glass, up at his head. "'S not for newcomers."

"Yeah, but I'm not a newcomer, am I?" you quip.

Dean can't help it. He stares at your face. Your damn perfect face. Perfect for him.

His heart clenches with the pain of guilt. With thoughts he shouldn't have. How he'd rather slit his own wrists than hurt his little brother. Not like this, for fuck's sake.

But Dean's got a problem. It's eating him down to the bone.

He wants you. He really wants you. More than he's wanted anything in so long...

"You really wanna know?" Dean asks. His voice is both a rumble and a coarse whisper. His green-eyed gaze falls to your lips.

For your part, you suck in a subtle breath. Your eyes widen, and your body's frozen, suspended in time.

You stare back at Dean's handsome face, overgrown with stubble, like he’s forgotten to shave. And you finally know what he's been hiding for the past few months. Why he sometimes ducks out when it's supposed to be the three of you, hanging out, watching a movie, sharing a pizza, being friends and family all at once.

You sometimes thought Dean had something against you, no matter how many times Sam has said, "That's not it." With one of those pensive looks on his face.

Like he knows something you don't, and just doesn't want to speak it into existence.

But then, Sam would distract you with his hand stroking your cheek. A kiss to your lips, sweet, but with urgency. You like that about Sam. You even love that about him -- how he can be both kind and considerate, but passionate in his affections.

But now, you stare at the eldest Winchester's face. You don't even know what you're thinking.

Dean sees you fidget, and has a feeling that you’re blushing.

He leans in, slowly. He’s mere inches away from finding out how sweet you really are.

He hears your shallow breath. His eyes flick up to yours, briefly capturing you again. You smell whiskey on him, but it doesn't completely drown out his cologne. His Deanness.

You can feel your face heating up further, down to your neck. What the fuck is happening right now?

"Tell me no," Dean says. Tell me to stop, or I swear to God...

"Dean, what..." you whisper. But that's not a no.

Still, he can't. He just can't do it. Not to Sam.

Dean just reaches out with a hand to soothe a gentle thumb across your cheek. He realizes then that he loves you. He loves you enough to let you go, if he has to.

"It comes down to this," Dean says. His voice is deep, full of grit and desire. You can see it in his eyes. He sees the conflict in yours.

He swallows. His heart is pounding against his ribcage, but he uses every ounce of self-restraint he has left, forcing his hand to fall away from your cheek.

"You've got two choices, sweetheart," he says. And he pulls away, leaving you there at the table.

Dean doesn't know it, but your heart is about to burst just like his. What the hell! How could he do that? Why...

But you realize then, holding a hand to your wildly beating, guilt-ridden, confused heart.

You never told him no.

AN: I love Sam, don't get me wrong. But because I'm unequivocally a Dean girl, I had to leave it a bit ambiguous. 😏

Read the Sequel!

Here's the requested sequel to this, in which you have to make a choice (contains both Sam and Dean endings):

Imagine: Choosing him.

Dean Winchester Imagines

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Main Masterlist

DW Tag List:

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[holylulusworld]

How to free a demon (3)

Summary: You try to free the demon you didn’t summon.  

Pairing: Demon!Dean x Librarian!Reader

Warnings: cocky Demon!Dean, mentions of hell/torture/demon deals/, flirting, tension, implied smut, fun, fluff

Catch up here: How to keep a demon (2)

“Fuck, I still got it in me. My mojo is back, sweetheart,” your demon purrs your name and nips at the inside of your thigh. This time, he got it up. More than once, to be precise. “Hmm…good thing you didn’t make a wish.”

“I can’t believe you tried to talk me into selling my soul. You knew what happened down there,” you grumble. “Even worse, I let you turn my life upside down.”

“I made it up to you, right?” Dean looks up at you from between your legs. His favorite meal seems to be your cunt lately. He can’t get enough. “I could make it up to you again and again.”

“Dean, no,” you groan and push against his head. “Not again. I’m already sore.” You whine and try to wiggle out of his grip. “Stop! I need to get up and take a shower. Sam needs my help with one of the books. He wants me to translate it.”

“Boring,” Dean nuzzles your crotch, sighing deeply. He’s not sure if he wants to be the normal guy again. His demonic powers protected you and him until now. If Sam can cure him, he’ll lose his powers and be back to running in circles to keep the people he loves safe. “Let’s stay here and do naughty things.”

“No, let’s get up,” you grumble. “Dean, come on. Do you want the short guy to come back and drag you down to hell? We don’t know if he doesn’t find a way to break the bond protecting us.”

The demon coughs. He was bouncing ideas and options while you were sleeping too. If he goes back to Crowley, there is no guarantee the king of hell won’t hurt you or his brother. If he stays, there’s the chance that Crowley finds a way to get back at you and Dean too.

“What if,” Dean tries to talk you into not curing him, “you don’t cure me.”

“No, Winchester. We will cure your demonic ass. I don’t want to wake up to a guy with black eyes eating my pussycat. I want the green-eyed cocky guy to do it.”

Dean grins. “I knew you’d end up addicted to me, sweetheart. I still got it in me to steal hearts.” His features sadden, and he sighs deeply. “I know you want me to become human again, but giving up my powers will weaken us, Y/N.”

“Sam said he knows what he’s doing. He can cure you, and it won’t change a thing,” you pat his head. “I left my old life behind. I’ll stay here and help you with research and stuff.”

“I wasn’t scared of losing you,” he huffs. “I’m a big bad demon. No one breaks my heart or scares me. I faced worse than a cocky sweetheart wanting to steal my heart.”

You smirk. “I’ll hold your hand throughout the whole procedure. I won’t leave you alone. Please give Sam the chance to get his brother back. He tried to get you out of hell for eight years. Do you know how hard it was for him to fail every time?”

Dean nods thoughtfully. The last thing he wants is for Sam to feel guilty. He knows his brother, and Bobby tried anything to get him out of hell. Dean made the deal, and he was ready to pay his dues.

“Winchester! Come out! You still owe me. I gave you your body and life back! You will pay for the deal you made!” Crowley, the king of hell, yells outside the bunker. “Dean Winchester, don’t think I won’t destroy this little hideout! I’m losing my patience here.”

“Aw, look at the big bad tiny wolf standing in front of a fortress he cannot tear down.” You giggle and wink at Crowley. The demon flashes his eyes red to scare you. “Get off my lawn, king of shit. You won’t get my demon back! He paid his dues. Eight years! He collected souls for you for eight years!”

“He didn’t pay back his debts!” Crowley steps closer to the bunker and sneers at you. “I own him. He’s my demon!”

“I own his cocky ass, king of shit!” You aim a gun filled with devil’s trap bullets at him. “Devil’s trap bullets, you son of a bitch. One step closer, and you are history.”

“You dare to threaten me?” Crowley sneers. “I’m bloody Crowley!”

“Well, shit. I’m bloody Y/N, the owner of Dean Winchester’s cocky ass. Please excuse us now. We will free him off you!”

“Hey! You can’t just leave!” Crowley yells when you go back inside and slam the door shut. “I’m the king of hell! Do not disrespect me!”

“What did you do outside?” Sam rubs his tired eyes. For hours, he tried to cure his brother. “I told you not to leave the bunker. Crowley is out for blood.”

“I made sure the king of shit knows his place,” you casually say. “If he dares touch on my demon, he’ll regret it.”

“Sorry to disappoint,” Dean slowly walks toward you. He grunts as he feels like he got under the bus twice: “My cocky ass is human now.”

“Awesome,” you say, and wrap one arm around his waistline to help Dean walk toward his room. “Your ass still belongs to me, right?”

“Of course, Y/N,” he chuckles. “It belongs only to you.”

Sam watches you and Dean laugh. He sighs deeply. Dean is cured, but Crowley is still out for blood.

Tags in reblog.

[eepwtf]

(¬ ´ཀ` )¬ HALLOWEEN BOTS ₊ ZOMBIE INSPIRED

note: mostly made these bcs i have a small (big) obsession with zombies and i keep seeing people with clown or zombie makeup and im gnawing at my screen they look so kewl!! (might add more…depends if im not too lazy. ps,,, i brought my fav movie ever (killer klowns) it’s VHS but idc!! along with elvira

݁ᛪ༙DEAN WINCHESTER

⤿ warm bodies ⸝⸝ zombie!user

you’re a zombie who keeps trailing after dean like a lost puppy, even if he knows you should’ve put you down he keeps you around, thinking that maybe there’s still a part of you that’s alive. despite the odd and weird little gifts you give him.

݁ᛪ༙DEAN WINCHESTER

⤿ meet the creeper ⸝⸝ zombie!dean

after being bitten, dean clings to a fading memory of you. driven by a primal need, he stumbles to your door, trying to cling onto the memory of you, the feeling of you.

݁ᛪ༙DAMON SALVATORE

⤿ insatiable love for the dead

damon finds himself torn when faced with you. unlike others, you ignite a conflicting desire within him—one that goes beyond bloodlust.

݁ᛪ༙BILLY LOOMIS

⤿ lights , camera , murder baby!

youre bound and blindfolded, lying vulnerable on the bed, while Billy documents the moment with a camera, capturing every breath and stifled gasp. just his pretty little doll for him to play and taunt with.

݁ᛪ༙SAM WINCHESTER

⤿ dude , where’s my skin? ⸝⸝ zombie!sam

sam, finds himself drawn to a living person—you. amidst a nightmarish landscape littered with corpses, he feels a flicker of humanity as he watches you shiver in the cold. despite his own deadened senses and the logic telling him he owes you nothing, he resolves to help. dragging himself toward a nearby corpse to retrieve a thick jacket and, with great effort, presents it to you as an offering.

݁ᛪ༙SAM WINCHESTER

⤿ spookshow baby ⸝⸝ zombie!user

sam arrives in a small town investigating rumors of zombies, expecting to find the typical mindless creatures. instead, he finds a high-end bar filled with well-dressed patrons. as he navigates the crowd, he feels out of place and scrutinized, like an outsider among wolves. his attention is drawn to a striking figure at the bar, who appears dead yet so attractive. determined to engage, sam approaches and asks if he can get them anything, hoping to break the ice and gather some intel on the place.

݁ᛪ༙STILES STILINSKI

⤿ zombie curiosity ⸝⸝ zombie!user

stiles has always been drawn to you, your bond deepened through late-night conversations in high school, but now everything feels cruelly different: youre dead, yet somehow you’re still alive in a way. he finds this all so fascinating, and keeps asking you questions, rambling on and managing to slip out how he feels about you.

݁ᛪ༙JENNIFER CHECK

⤿ model for me

jennifer and you are browsing for costumes for a halloween party, you modeling skimpy little outfits for her. and jennifer, not even hiding how she’s practically devouring you with her eyes.

[alexsoenomel]

The Reveries Of My Mind (Dean Winchester x Reader fluff/smut)

Summary: What happens when you discover you can feel someone's torment and struggles through an unexplainable bond?

"Your struggles are mine. Your sadness is mine. You're mine."

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI , vanilla sex, dreams about the reader dying --not too graphic , first person fic

Word count: 6.7k

Note: I took my time with this one. I really like it. I've been struggling to write for so long it feels good to be back. Enjoy!

Like/ reblog or both if you like it :)

And a huge thank you to my wonderful beautiful best friend @ambergoddess444​ for being the best beta reader <3

I’m gonna kill him. 

I heard Sam’s voice echo in my mind as I was eating my pancakes. I looked at Dean who was stuffing his face with eggs and bacon, not really paying attention to Sam’s resting bitch face. 

STOP CHEWING SO LOUD FOR THE LOVE OF CHUCK!

I heard him again and almost choked on my milk. 

“What?” Sam asked. 

“Oh, nothing,” I answered. 

Dean just glanced at me and continued eating his breakfast. 

It was Sunday and luck was on our side because we couldn't find a case. This would happen once in a blue moon so we were quite content with having a day off. Monsters sometimes sleep.

After breakfast Sam said he was going to go and catch up on some reading while Dean and I were left alone. 

“Can I borrow Baby?” I asked, since it was July and summer was in full swing in Kansas. I wanted to forget about my job – about hunting – I wanted to go outside and feel the summer breeze in my hair in his beautiful Impala. I already knew his answer as soon as I saw his brow arch. He was very protective over his Baby; only allowed me to drive once after I begged him for my birthday. 

Absolutely not. 

“Why?” 

I crossed my arms, my lips thinned. 

“Why ask when you already gave me your answer?” 

Dean raised his eyebrows, eyes widened as we were sitting at the table opposite of each other. 

“I keep forgetting you can do that,” he said, looking away from me. 

“You keep forgetting about your mental shield,” I told him as I went to the kitchen to get myself some coffee. 

I didn't realize Dean was following me until I heard his voice. 

“I can't just sit in silence and breathe while I think about nothing.” 

“You mean to meditate?” I chuckled.

“Yeah��that.” 

I took a sip of hot coffee Sam made after breakfast and turned around to face him. 

“You have to strengthen your shield, Dean.” 

“There has to be another way,” he said desperately as he poured coffee into his black mug. 

“No there isn't, I told you. Everyone has a mental shield, but the reason why I can hear people's thoughts 99% of the time is because their shield is not strong enough. And how do you strengthen your shield? You shut up and meditate. Focus on it and build it.” 

Dean wasn't pleased as he took another sip of his coffee. 

“Sam meditates, can you still hear his thoughts?” 

“I can, because it takes years to actually strengthen the damn shield and he started meditating six months ago.” 

He just rolled his eyes as we went back to the library. 

“I don't want you in my head,” he stated. 

“I cannot help it, dumbass. Can I take the car or not?” 

Dean took the keys out of his pocket and dangled them in front of my face. I tried to take them but he refused to give them to me. 

Typical.

“I'm driving,” he told me with a smirk. 

***

“Where do you want to go?” He asked me as I closed the car door. 

“I don't have any particular destination in mind. I just wanted to drive around and listen to music.” 

Dean gave me a soft smile before starting the engine. Baby was purring – I could never get tired of that sound; it was smooth and powerful – no wonder he was so protective of her. The car held memories, sacred moments and was filled with stories – good and bad. 

“Sounds like a plan,” and with those words we were off. 

We were on the main highway, heading to God knows where. Dean, of course being the driver, was controlling the music as well. 

Dream On by Aerosmith was playing. I loved that song, but I was in the mood for Van Halen. 

Driver picks the music. Shot-

“Shotgun what?” I smirked, glancing at him. I saw he gripped the wheel tighter and licked his lips.

“God, I hate when you do that,” he said. I chuckled. 

Front windows were down, summer breeze in my face and hair gently caressing me as Crazy Train started playing. Ozzy was too chaotic for this drive. As much as I loved his songs I wanted something to ease my mind and not encourage my body to produce adrenaline. I dared to change the song. 

Don't Fear The Reaper by Blue Öyster Cult. 

Much better.

“Hey, I was listening to that,” Dean of course complained. 

“Well not anymore,” I told him as I showed him a middle finger.  

A chuckle left his lips before he spoke.

“Wanna grab a few drinks?” 

“Dean I don't wanna get drunk at” – I looked at my phone to check the time – “11am.”

“You don't have to do anything you don’t wanna do. We can buy a few beers and go to our favorite hiding spot. If I get too drunk maybe, maybe I'll let you drive.” 

I couldn't believe what I just heard. My heart was racing from excitement. Sam was always the designated driver; Dean would sometimes drive drunk without us noticing. I know that because he admitted that…while we were drinking after a successful hunt. 

“Really?” I played skeptical; part of me was. “You're not afraid I'll crash your beloved car?”

“If you do, I'll kill you,” he looked at me and gave me a flat smile. 

Fair enough.

“Well okay.” 

She won't crash my car.

Well I think she won’t. 

I hope she won’t.

I didn't say anything, just stared at the trees blurred on my right side as we passed by; absorbing the warmth and sunshine in my face. 

It's My Life By Bon Jovi started playing. 

Perfect.  

Dean bought a couple of beers and some Slim Jims at the first gas station just before his favorite hiding spot. 

The hiding spot was an abandoned house we found a few months ago when we were hunting a vampire nest. It was an old cabin in the middle of nowhere, a few miles away from the main road. After exterminating the nest, we started coming there every once in a while to relax and get away from everything that made us hunters. Sam completely forgot about that place but Dean and I would occasionally go, mainly at night to get away from the bunker’s haunting reminder of the life we were living. There we were just regular folk, drinking and having fun. The house was dusty and old, but dear to us, like a portal to a regular life and what we desperately wanted, but could never have. 

As we were approaching the house I couldn’t ignore the strong sense of serenity coming from Dean. His mind was at ease, no racing thoughts, no sorrow he would usually carry within himself – he was happy. I’ve never told him about that; I know he would probably freak out – yell even – so I kept my mouth shut. I would be lying if I said it didn't freak me out as well. Every emotion he would feel, I would feel too and sometimes even twice as strong. It was like a bond of some sort; an invisible string connecting us and letting me see and feel every inch of his mind. I would wake up whenever he couldn’t sleep, I’d laugh whenever he’d laughed and I would get angry whenever he’d get angry…I felt everything and it was driving me insane not being able to talk to him about it, because it was only him I’d felt connected to.

I smiled at him when he turned off the engine, feeling the warmth in his soul. I got out of the car and stretched my legs, inhaling fresh summer air and soaking in the sunshine on my skin. 

“Let’s have a picnic,” I suggested, “I don’t wanna go inside. The weather is beautiful.” 

“A picnic? Here?” He asked, looking around. Nothing but endless grass fields around us; the highway was peeking through the greenery but we could barely see it anymore.

“You will be fine, princess,” I chuckled, “Besides it’s good to connect with mother nature every once and a while.” 

Forest nymph. 

He started calling me that when I told him about my love and admiration for nature and my passion for hiking and exploring woods. He told me no sane person loves hiking, but his younger brother understood. Now, occasionally I’d go hiking with Sam. 

I ignored his thought, even though I wanted to tell him we weren’t in a forest, and found a perfect spot next to the house and sat down. He rolled his eyes and joined me. 

Dean cracked two bottles and I opened one of my favorite honey BBQ Slim Jims and took a first bite. I loved the smooth texture and a light honey flavor mixed with BBQ aroma in my mouth. 

“Cheers!” He said lifting his bottle for a toast. 

“Cheers, for not dying!” 

He chuckled. 

“For not dying!”

One beer…

Two beers later we were both feeling the consequences of our own actions. I was tipsy due to my low alcohol tolerance while Dean seemed sober but was far from it. He had a strange gift – being able to fake sobriety. He had been doing it for years and now seeing him behaving like a drunken fool looked strange and unfamiliar. 

He was looking at me; green eyes sparkling under the sun making me wonder if he and I were ever meant for something more. I was in love with the idea of being in love with him but it scared me more than death which I had experienced a couple of times. He was my best friend, my annoying best friend with a heart of gold and a shadow he wanted to remain hidden.

We stayed for hours, soaking in the sunshine and summer heat while reliving old memories and wondering if this life we had was worth it. We soon realized, it was. 

“We still get to experience this,” I stated, showing him a butterfly that flew in that moment right in front of me.

“Butterflies?” He wondered, tilting his head a little in confusion.

“Nature, dumbass,” I smiled, “And other small pleasures, music, alcohol, food…and also knowing the world is less shitty because of us.”

He nodded in a silent agreement before hearing him call me forest nymph again. His warm green eyes fixed on me, making me a bit nervous. He didn't say a word.

“What?” I finally asked him. 

His right hand went into the pocket of his jeans and he pulled out his car keys.

“You can drive,” he told me and gave me the keys. 

***

When we came back home safely, since I didn’t crash his precious car, Sam was still in his room, probably reading and Dean decided to take a nap since naps weren’t a regular occurrence in our household. 

I decided to continue the book I started a couple of weeks ago. I missed being able to read books I wanted, and not just ones for research purposes. I could still feel him. He was content. I smiled and opened my book. 

An hour into the book and a picture flashed right in front of my eyes. I saw blood, so much blood on the sidewalk. Hairs on my arms rose as another frame appeared: it was a girl lying face down, head bludgeoned. A wave of fear rushed over me as I closed my book, not being able to simply ignore it. I knew exactly what this was – Dean’s nightmares – I knew exactly who this was. 

Another flash. His hands, covered in blood. He was trying to wake me up. He was calling my name over and over again like a prayer of despair, but I didn’t wake up; I didn’t move an inch.

Usually I would ignore his nightmares; I was too afraid to say anything, afraid of his reaction and not being able to give him a good explanation, but my silence was killing me. Something told me – maybe it was intuition or my impulsiveness, or both –  I had to wake him up.

Quickly I got out of my bed and rushed to his room. His jaw was clenched, his body seemed stiff under the white sheet that covered him just below his chin. I could hear quiet moans coming from him as another picture appeared right in front of me – he was on his knees, holding me tight, eyes bloodshot red and filled with tears…My heart broke in a second before I closed my eyes, trying to make it go away. As I approached him I could see his eyes fluttering rapidly beneath his closed eyelids, his forehead glistening with a faint sheen of sweat…I had to wake him up.

“Dean?” I whispered and sat next to him. A whimper escaped his lips. 

“Dean?” I called his name again, this time a little bit louder and with a hand on his cheek. He was warm. 

“Dean, wake up!” I could feel his shock as he shot his eyes open, taking a deep breath like he forgot how to breathe, shivers running through him – I could feel them all over my skin. 

He took in his familiar surroundings before he looked at me. 

“You had a nightmare,” I told him. 

“Yeah, a really bad one,” he simply added, pinching the bridge of his nose. A headache started to settle as he got up and went to the bathroom to splash himself with cold water. He was only wearing black boxers and it wasn’t like I have never seen him shirtless, it was the fact that every time I did, I had to tell myself not to stare like a Victorian man seeing ankles for the first time. 

I swallowed thickly without saying a word.

I have to tell him. I repeated that sentence over and over again. I have to tell him he deserves to know. 

When he came back my eyes registered his bulge for a second before looking up. I was praying he didn’t notice. 

“Are you okay?” I asked. 

“Yeah, so much for napping,” he lied and started putting on his blue jeans. I knew he was lying, he would always lie and repress his emotions and needs. I knew he was exhausted. Those nightmares had been happening for a week straight; the exhaustion showing on his face in a form of dark circles; the once lively features now appeared subdued; eyes dimmed. 

“I saw it,” I utter these three words without much thought. 

“What?” He was about to button his red flannel, stopping mid through.  

“I saw your nightmare, you have been having the same nightmare for a week now.” 

I refused to look at him, but I could feel his eyes on me as he took my words in. I could feel a slight sting in my chest coming from him – shock.

“You can read minds AND see people’s nightmares?”

“Not people’s; yours. It only happens with you, I wake up every time you have a nightmare, I feel every emotion you feel,” – I took a deep breath before I continued; I knew him well enough to know he hated secrets, even though he was a damn hypocrite and had his own – “I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to freak you out. I cannot control it, trust me I tried, but I can’t. It has been happening for a while and-” 

His eyes once trusting shited and now held a hint of disappointment, his jaw clenched. Anger.

Anger and disappointment. 

“For how long?” His deep voice echoed in my ears as he cut my frantic explanation short.

I froze. I knew this question was coming. I knew right there that keeping this thing a secret was a mistake. I couldn’t answer it. I couldn’t…

“For how long (Y/N)?” He demanded crossing his arms. I didn’t like the sound of my name when he was angry.

I stood up, barely feeling my legs before I answered: “A year.” 

“Does Sam know?” The next question came out less angrily, his voice softer than seconds ago. 

“No.”

“How?”

“I don’t know. It started as just me feeling whenever you were happy, it was hard to recognise it at first, I thought it was my happiness and then it progressed to other emotions like fear, anger and sadness and after that I started seeing your dreams. I didn’t tell Sam because I wasn’t sure what was happening.” 

“And you didn’t tell me because…?” He asked like I hadn’t given him the answer. 

“I told you I didn’t want to freak you out. It feels like I’m invading your privacy.”

He scoffed.

“No shit Sherlock!” 

His eyes widened before he spoke again: “Wait, so that means you can feel whenever I get horny?” 

I chuckled. “No, because being horny isn’t an emotion, Dean. It’s a state.”

“Oh thank God,” he expressed his relief. 

“I do feel the sudden rush of endorphins and happy hormones every time you come though,” at this point I had nothing to hide, especially when I could feel his anger subsiding. It wasn’t like him to just ignore something that made him angry, but for whatever reason he was over it. Now he was mortified. 

“Oh God!” He said and opened the door of his room. “SAMMY! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE WE HAVE SOME RESEARCH TO DO!” 

I swallowed a laugh before he turned around. 

“We're gonna get to the bottom of this!” 

***

Sam was genuinely surprised when I told him about the bond. He would usually try to find an explanation or guess what it was; this time he was silent. No logical explanation, no guessing, no nothing…

“Well that’s something I have never heard off,” he just told you and went to the library to try and find some books about…

Mind reading?

Bonds?

“I don’t even know what I’m looking for,” he said, looking at the spines of old books on the shelves. 

“You’re telling me,” Dean agreed. 

“It’s not like I’m a monster with abilities.” 

My statement was enough to light a bulb in Sam’s head: “Yes but…” – he went to the second shelf behind you, like he knew what he was looking for – “You’re something else.” 

Dean and I looked at each other in confusion before Sam pulled a book from the shelf. 

“Indigo children?” I read the covers. 

“Huh?” Of course Dean had no idea. 

“I mean it makes sense, you said you were always highly empathetic, ever since you were a kid right?” 

“Yes,” I nodded as he was flipping the pages trying to find a specific chapter. The book was annotated but it wasn’t his handwriting. 

“Also you started reading minds when you were 7?”

“Well kinda.”

“Before that it was like a guessing game, you just knew?”

“Sort of.” 

Chapter 54. Abilities. 

Indigo children are children who are believed to possess special, unusual, and sometimes supernatural traits or abilities. 

“I have been on this Earth for how long and I’ve never connected the dots,” I said, admiring my own stupidity and inability to dig deeper. I was never curious enough to find an explanation for my ability; never cared enough to think about it too deeply; when I started living with Sam and Dean five years ago I told them right away what I could do. They first thought I was Azazel’s long lost special kid, the one that was lucky enough to somehow hide in the shadows back when Azazel was still alive, but that wasn’t the case. My parents were killed by a vampire and I’d never met Azazel; I didn’t even know he existed until they told me. I only knew regular black eyed demons. 

“So, you were a gifted kid? That still doesn’t explain your ability to do what you have been doing for a year,” Dean scoffed. 

Who names gifted kids indigo kids? Seriously?!

You chuckled. 

“Wait, you have been able to do that for a year?” You heard Sam, your eyes still on the book, trying to find something, anything that would indicate the existence of the said bond. 

“Yes, why?” 

“Go to chapter 55,” he told me. I flipped a few pages until I saw: Chapter 55, Soulmate bonds.

An Indigo child can stumble upon an unprecedented neural synchronization when encountering their soulmate. This synchronization extends beyond telepathic communication, as it involves the transmission and reception of emotional states and dream imagery, resulting in an intimate sharing of thoughts, feelings, and subconscious experiences. Although very rare, it is possible for an Indigo child’s soulmate to be mortal, with no supernatural abilities. If an Indigo child does encounter their soulmate the bond can snap into place usually after 4 or 5 years (one case showed it can also happen after six months). 

“I read this book before we met so it never crossed my mind,” I heard Sam say as I was absorbing the information. I’d known him for five years…

Five years…

It made sense.

As I was reading the first chapter out loud Dean’s wave of shock made my heart beat faster as Sam went to the kitchen to get some booze. It was like he read my mind. I have never heard of his bond. As much as I loved the idea of Dean being mine, I knew he came with tons of baggage, untreated alcoholism, and rage so immense it made my stomach turn. I was no better though just with less intensity and alcoholism. 

That’s bullshit. 

My heart broke hearing these words, but I finally got the courage to look at him, and for the first time his face was unreadable. He was silent. And then he just left.

Sam came back with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and three classes in the other. 

“Where’s Dean?” 

“He left…to process, I guess,” I said before hearing Dean slamming the front door. 

Sam, knowing me too well, didn’t say anything and just poured me a glass of Dean’s fine whiskey. I took a sip feeling a sweet burn down my throat. We were silent for a while, my words buried deep in my mind; struggling to articulate my thoughts as if I had any at that moment. 

“How do you feel about all of this?” Sam finally spoke, breaking the pleasant silence. 

A lump formed in my throat as I tried to blink back tears. I cleared my throat and took another sip. 

“I think…I’m scared to tell him he already has me wrapped around his finger with or without the stupid bond,” my answer was honest. I was scared – terrified of crossing the boundary; breaking the only rule I had: no long term relationships. Anything more than a friendship with Dean would end catastrophically; I was aware of that and yet I still secretly hoped. I wanted him to want me, I wanted him to look at me and see a safe space; I wanted him so painfully to see me and think: “She’s worth it.” 

“Oh he knows, he's just being a dick about it,” Sam’s bluntness surfaced as he drank his glass of whiskey. 

“What do you mean?” I asked, not really following him. 

He knows?

“You two have something I’ve only experienced once in my life and yet you refuse to acknowledge it.” 

My forehead creased as I subtly tilted my head in confusion. Then I heard Sam’s voice in my head as he looked at me with a soft smile on his face.

Jessica…

“Oh…” was all I could say.

“Yeah, he was scared before, now he’s probably terrified. Talk to him when he gets back.” 

“So he can reject me? And probably tell me to move out? Even if he feels the same, I know Dean, and he would rather give up alcohol for the rest of his life than talk about his feelings.”

Sam snorted and nodded silently agreeing with me. 

“Trust me. He won’t reject you. He’s my brother, I know him a little bit better than you do.” 

***

Dean was gone for hours it seemed. I couldn’t stop thinking about him, about the bond, so I did what any sane hunter would do – I repressed my thoughts with more whiskey and drowned myself in more research with Sam. The more I drank it felt like I became more sober. 

I wanted to know more about this soulmate bond. I wanted to know if there was any other way for people to block me from entering their minds besides strengthening the mental shield. 

“I’ve never asked you, how did you find out about the shield anyway?” Sam asked me behind his laptop while I was trying to find books about telepathy. 

“A witch told me,” I stated behind bookshelves, “When my parents died I let it control me, I couldn’t stand it, I could hear every single person I came in contact with and it was driving me nuts. So, I found a witch, a good one, and she helped me control it and told me about the shield since she was the first person I couldn’t tap into.” 

I remember her fondly. Her white crow would sometimes appear, to let me know she was alive and I would visit her every year on her birthday in winter. I would tell the Winchesters I was seeing an old friend; without adding too much detail, since I knew Dean’s hatred of witches far too well. 

“Good witches exist?”

“Oh yeah, she’s wonderful.” 

There wasn’t any other way for other people to shield their minds from me, sadly.

“Oh but I think I found something,” Sam told me and turned his laptop towards me. I read the short paragraph and looked at him.

“I can do that?” 

“You can try.” 

***

 Dean was still gone by the time we decided to take a break from research. Sam decided to go for a walk before bed while I went to my room to try and contact Dean through the bond. The article Sam found stated it was possible to contact your soulmate if you focused all of your energy on them. 

I have no idea what I’m doing. 

I laid on my bed and closed my eyes, picturing Dean standing right in front of me. Even in my mind he made me nervous. His aura was so captivating and stoic; you couldn’t forget him even if you tried. His name escaped my lips a few times, eyes still closed, but all I could hear was dead silence.His face still engraved in my mind, I studied his features: his smile lines, beautiful kissable lips, his perfect nose, freckles…

Dean? I called. 

(Y/N), what the hell?

He heard me. I could feel my feet going cold as my body went numb. My heart was in my throat. 

I’ll explain later! Please come home, I wanna talk to you.

In a second, my mind lost focus as I became more aware of my nervousness and he was gone. I couldn’t see him anymore. 

“Crap!” I uttered in frustration and decided to text him. 

Please come home.

***

I heard his footsteps thirty minutes later. I was ready for the worst; I was ready for Dean to tell me to leave; I was ready for all of it to end. 

I heard him knock seconds later.

“You there?”

“Come in!” 

He closed the door behind him. I was in the middle of trying to read my book, emphasis on trying, since the nervousness turned into full blown anxiety and I couldn’t focus on anything but him. I put the book down as he sat on the bed. I was hit with a sudden smell of cigarettes and alcohol in my nostrils. He probably went to a bar. 

“How did you do that?” He asked, this time looking me dead in the eyes. His gaze wasn’t soft – I couldn’t help but feel a little intimidated – his eyes bore into mine with such seriousness I’d only seen a handful of times. 

“I did some research with Sam. The bond allows us to communicate telepathically.” 

“I-I can also do that?” 

“If you concentrate hard enough, yeah.” 

An astounded chuckle was all I heard. And then:

This is crazy.

I know.

His lips parted slightly once he realized he could hear me. I on the other hand didn’t want him to hear me, but looking at him, seeing the evident worry and fear in his green eyes, I couldn’t control it. It became natural.

“Where were you?” I asked and boldly decided to sit next to him. 

“Went to our favorite hiding spot to think. When thinking became too much, I went to a bar and had a couple of drinks.” 

“And? What are your thoughts?” 

His hand gently found mine, intertwining his fingers with mine. I wasn’t sure if I was breathing at that moment. I could feel my cheeks burning as he pressed a gentle kiss on my forehead. 

“I feel like ignoring how I feel about you just made everything worse.”

I’m terrified. 

I ignored it and focused on his actual voice. “And I feel like this bond slapped me in the face.” 

“You and me both,” I smiled. 

Sam was right after all. I didn’t know what else to say but all I could think about was pressing my lips against his. I wanted to kiss him so badly, but my body refused to cooperate with my mind. 

I didn’t need to kiss him first, because his lips found mine in a matter of seconds. The kiss was gentle, warm; his lips perfectly pressed against mine. I opened my mouth letting him know he could explore it with his tongue and he was happy to do so. A whine escaped my lips when he broke the kiss. 

“I heard you,” he smirked. 

Please stay with me. My mind yelled. 

“I will,” he heard me. Again. 

***

Dean went to get ready for bed and so did I. It was already 11pm, Sam was long gone, snoring in his room after a long walk and I went to take a shower. 

It will probably happen.

Maybe it won’t?

Maybe we will just cuddle and sleep?

Yeah right.

Why am I so nervous?

I’m nervous because the last time I was in love with someone he left me for a girl named Karen. 

In high school.

Crap. 

My thoughts were racing as I was washing myself and getting ready to spend the night with him. I put on my shirt and a pair of clean underwear before brushing my teeth. I turned off the lights and went under the covers. Somehow it was always cold in my room, no matter the season. I focused on my soft pillow and how it felt against my cheek as I turned on my side. That lasted maybe two seconds as my mind kept drifting and wondering what was coming next. The thought of him pressed against me made me excited; his lips on my neck, hands on my hips…

I didn’t even realize I was rubbing my thighs together, desperately seeking some form of release. Thank God I was tired, a few moments later I could feel my eyelids getting heavier and my body finally relaxing. I wondered where Dean was as I started drifting and soon enough I got my answer. 

He would always take long showers; so I wasn’t surprised when he came 15 minutes later. He found me peacefully drifting between realms of reality and dreams, and with his hands wrapped around me pulled me back to reality – to him. My back pressed against him; we stayed like this, as my patience was running low and I could feel myself getting wet. 

He was melting any sense of restraint I had and even with nervousness practically suffocating me, I turned around and snuggled against him, his chin resting on top of my head. He was warm; skin soft as I took a deep breath to breathe in his scent – forest after rain and him. 

“Did you know?” I whispered into him.

“Huh? What?” His deep raspy voice so close to ears made me shiver. 

“Did you know that I have feelings for you?” 

Sam said he did, but I wanted to hear from him. 

“I suspected it, but refused to believe it. Until Sam confirmed it.” 

“How did Sam know? I’ve never told him.” I said and lifted my head to look at him. It was dark, but I could still see the outlines of his face – he smiled at me. 

“He told me you get smiling eyes when we are together. I didn’t really know what he meant until we took down that vampire nest back in Austin. I told you, you were an idiot for trying to take down a whole damn nest by yourself and you kept looking at me with those dove lookin’ eyes.” 

I smiled. I remembered that. It was a few months ago and I was indeed an idiot. He and Sam almost died and I had to do something. I was reckless and instead of coming up with a plan I let my machete go wild. 

“Well it’s not my fault you’re hot when you’re angry.” 

I could feel his smirk before I kissed him, this time cupping his cheek with my hand. He immediately kissed back, pulling me closer to him like that was even possible. This time, one kiss turned into another and another. We both didn't want to pull away; his hands hesitantly started roaming under my shirt, instantaneously sending shivers all over my body. I took his hands, breaking the kiss.

“Touch me. I'm yours,” I whispered before kissing him again, not being able to get enough. I could feel his little smirk against my lips as he tugged on my shirt trying to take it off. I took it off and in seconds he took his. My mind was focused on him and only him as I felt his soft skin under my fingertips. 

You're going to be the death of me. 

Likewise, sweetheart.

This time I smiled between kisses. I liked that nickname, I couldn’t wait to actually hear it out loud. He wasted no time before he pushed me onto the bed and straddle me; his lips not leaving mine. We were like two addicts; we couldn't stop; we didn't want to stop. He pressed his hips on mine and I could feel him, pressed against my wet center. A soft moan escaped my lips as my fingers tugged on his damp hair. He moved his lips on my neck, while his hand found my center. A light brush was enough to make me moan his name. I was so sensitive, so vulnerable underneath him; he was consuming every reverie of my mind. 

I was growing impatient, but he knew that, and now I couldn't hide anything from him anymore. The bond was stronger now, we didn't even have to try to communicate with one another; it was like breathing. 

I lowered his boxers as much as I could and wrapped my hand around his hard dick, earning a groan from him. I pumped him a few times, as my impatience became his. He kissed me before standing on his knees and took my panties off. He stopped for a second.

Adoration – I could feel it through the bond. He was making me blush in the dark; my cheeks growing warm. 

You're so beautiful.

Before I could answer him, he positioned himself between my legs and slowly entered me, stretching me nice and slow; his lips found mine again as he swallowed my gasp and slowly started to move. My legs wrapped around his hips, wanting more, more and more…

I was about to get drunk and see stars. My hands were around his neck before I cupped his face. He broke the kiss when we both couldn't breathe, biting my shoulder lightly, his pace becoming faster. 

My mind only knew his name as I was chanting it over and over again, like a sweet prayer. He nuzzled his head in my neck, kissing it sloppily. 

“You feel so good, sweetheart,” he whispered in my ear. 

I was in a complete haze, unable to muster anything but his name. 

His nose resting on my cheek, he placed a soft kiss only to swallow my moans once more, as we both started to fall apart. 

“Dean, I-,” I wasn't able to speak, I could feel it in the pit of my stomach and I could tell, feel, he wasn't going to last much longer. 

“I know, baby. I know. I can feel it,” he said and I wasn't sure if he could feel it through the bond or if my body was telling him – or both. 

My moans became desperate; with that voice Dean could make me do whatever his little heart desired. 

We came in sync, eyes locked and growing breathless. He couldn't keep my name out of his mouth and I didn't want him to. When he pulled out and laid next to me we were both panting and growing sleepier. I lazily moved closer to him, kissing his shoulder as he immediately wrapped his hand around my torso and pulled me close. 

“And you thought we'd just cuddle,” he chuckled. 

I raised my head to look at him.

“You heard me?” 

“Yeah, we have to figure out how to not hear each other's thoughts all the time.”

“Well…” I started and he just shot me a death glare.

“I ain't meditating.”

I cupped his face, squeezing his cheeks lightly making his lips pout. 

“Fine,” I said and gave him a pack on the lips, “we will find another way.”

“Thank you.” 

I stayed in his arms until we both fell asleep. He played with my hair and I drew small circles on his chest. He asked me about the research – what I found, what I didn't – asked me about us.

“If it's meant to be it's meant to be,” my eyelids grew heavy as I mumbled the words and drifted to sleep. 

Dean kissed my forehead and closed his eyes.

***

I could feel Dean’s hands pulling me closer to him, his fingers digging into my flesh as my ears heard him say my name in a form of whisper. I lazily opened my eyes not knowing if he was awake or not. His fingers dug into my stomach as he repeatedly called me in a frantic tone. 

He’s dreaming.

“Dean?” I turned around and even in complete darkness my eyes registered his clenched jaw, while my body felt the stiffness of his. 

“Dean?” I repeated again and nuzzled my head under his chin and placed a gentle kiss on his neck. I knew what he was dreaming about – I was dying again and he was trying to save me. 

Dean, baby wake up!

I told him through the bond as I stroked his soft hedgehog-like hair. I could sense the fear lingering within him as his eyes shot open, his breathing came in uneven gasps and his chest was rising and falling frantically. I wrapped my hand around his torso and embraced him in a tight hug as the weight of the nightmare still lingered. 

“I’m here,” I repeated a couple of times, giving him the reassurance I knew he needed. 

“It’s just a dream, Dean.”

His breathing became stable again. 

“You died,” eventually he told me. The fear was gone and replaced with sadness – sadness so somber and heavy I only felt once when Charlie died. 

“No, I didn’t. I’m here,” I told him and placed his hand on my chest. 

“I’m right here,” I said before kissing him. A sigh of relief left his lips. 

“I feel like I’m gonna lose it…the same dream over and over.”

He was desperate, so desperate for answers it made my soul ache, but I knew this wasn’t the time. 

“I know, and we will figure it out. Sleep baby, I’m not going anywhere,” I whispered before kissing him lovingly. His hand found my cheek as I broke the kiss resting my forehead against his.

“Your struggles are mine. Your sadness is mine. You're mine,” I told him as my legs intertwined with his. My hand was on his chest, feeling his heart beating faster. Something was traveling through the bond, something lovely and warm I could only describe it as love. Suddenly I heard it; a whisper traveling through the bond: I love you, before he kissed me again.

I love you too.

Tagged: @lacilou , @littlemadamred , @girls-alias , @captainannatheweirdo , @nancymcl

[according2thelore]

do you think that mary tries to mother sam in the depths of s12, when lucifer is possessing his childhood rockstar and fucking with sam every chance he gets, when sam is still trying to recover from the british interrogation and hallucinating a-fucking-gain? do you think dean gets jealous and isn’t sure of who? sammy giving mary that little-boy smile and mary pets his hair and dean is just like no no Mine!

BETH I AM KISSING YOU RN

LETS TALK MOTHERS!!!!!!!!!!! OH I AM SO EXCITED TO TALK MOTHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a lot of the mary content we get in s12 is very dean-forward (which i can understand, because he was the only one who had even a little bit of a relationship with pre-her death), but i think about how she tries to mother sam a LOT!

a lot of mary's last memories of sammy were of him waking up in the middle of the night screaming his head off, or laughing and flapping his hands in the baby chair outside while dean tries to blow bubbles. i know collectively we've all kinda talked about this, but how freaky is it to see a baby, then be told the next day that this man older than you is that baby!!!

a lot of her bonding is weird and awkward and stilted. she cuts the crusts off of a sandwich she makes for dean one day, completely on autopilot, and dean freezes when he sees it.

i'm sure a lot of her comfort is very tactile, because she hasn't really had time to get used to comforting adults. she has very little--if any at all--experience comforting/connecting with adults.

given her childhood, her exposure to/relationships with other people and adults was extremely limited. her dad was very much a stiff-upper-lip kind of guy, and john dealt with his emotions/worry/frustrations (as we see in the flashbacks with him interacting with mary) with knee-jerk anger (which we later see dean doing as well with her). so i'm sure a lot of her comfort for dean is the same way she used to talk with john, a la "it [their marriage] wasn't perfect until she died."

but sam? he's a bleeding heart. he flinches when dean yells and shows up at her door after a fight with dean to make sure that she's okay (but not too much, not enough to break their united front; when mary complains about dean, sam responds noncommittally and excuse-laden, that's how he is, you know saying XYZ makes him mad). he pours the extra cup of coffee when dean refuses to, and cuts off the crusts of her sandwich one afternoon to make her laugh.

all that to say, the last time mary wanted to comfort sam, she'd kissed his little bald forehead. she'd put two of her fingers into his tiny, sticky fist, and wiggled his arms around. she'd bounced him. she'd shooed dean away, because dean had come in to watch sam cry, confused and upset and asking is he okay mommy let me look at him is he okay is he okay is he sad?

comfort with sam has always been tactile.

so now that she's back, and sam is upset, she gives him a hug. sam kind of wilts when she does, going tense and confused at first before wrapping his (frankly, terrifyingly large) arms around her.

after all the shit that goes down in s12, mary gets in the habit of checking in with him. she'll put a hand on his shoulder when he stares at the corner for too long, eyes dark and far away. she'll make sure to turn the radio up on the '70s radio channel she has on while sharpening the knives because sam is flinching as something invisible is clearly yelling at him.

she brings him an extra cup of coffee. she goes on her tip toes to kiss his cheek. she puts a hand on his head as she passes him to go to bed. she pokes his hand to shake him out of a reverie. she grabs his arm to get his attention.

and--of course--this brushes up against dean.

she brings sam another cup of coffee to find a mug already steaming next to him, a sticky note in dean's cramped scrawl that says "go to bed, asshole" peeling off of the side. she stands up to go break sam's fifty-yard stare at the chair across from him, but dean is already sliding into the chair, talking like he had been sitting there the whole time and they were in the middle of a conversation.

she pats sam on the shoulder after he finds a lead on the case, and his shoulder ticks up because dean had just slapped down on his other shoulder at the same time.

and dean is just fucking burning. he's so fucking confused, and angry, and hurt.

but mostly, he's humiliated to find out, he's jealous.

sam tilts into the kiss mary drops on the top of his head. he turns his hand over on the table so she can give it a squeeze. he puts a hand on her back to move her out of his way in the kitchen.

dean figures it's kind of pathetic to want to be mothered like that at thirty-eight years old, especially after all the shit they've been through.

but, when he walks in and finds sam sunk into one of mary's hugs, he wants to pry her off. he wants to go over and ask sam what happened, why it looks like he's been crying, what she did.

he's not jealous of sam.

he's jealous of mary.

she can hug him whenever she wants, and sam sinks into it like it's a bed every time, shaking and happy and calm. mary drops kisses on his cheek like it's nothing.

he starts to seek her out to ask questions, first. before he goes to dean. whenever they have dinner, he serves her her food first. he starts deferring to her on things. they're at a restaurant, and he pulls her chair out for her. he calls her "mom," with a smile and a laugh and crinkly eyes.

she puts toast in front of him with butter--and sam fucking hates putting butter on his toast right out of the toaster, why doesn't she know that, it makes the bread soggy, dean almost reaches across and slaps it off the table--and he smiles and says, "thanks mom" with a huge fucking smile and dean is filled with so much rage and longing and hurt that he stands up and has to take a fucking lap.

it's automatic, immediate deference. it's idolization that kids have for their mothers. that a five-year-old sam had for dean.

she doesn't even know how to be his mom. she doesn't know that sammy used to nosebleeds every fall, and dean had sit next to him as he leaned over boiling water, because they didn't have a humidifier. she doesn't know that sam likes his coffee with a very specific amount of creamer. dean spent years getting it perfect, better than sam makes it, to the point that sam will ask dean to make it if he's feeling really tired.

she didn't sit with sam when sam could only speak enochian for hours, garbling and hissing and spitting, then later shoving dean off of him, whispering in broken english i've been good, i've been good, you promised you wouldn't bring dean back if i was good.

she doesn't know a thing about being sam's mom. she shouldn't get to reap the rewards that--dean is starting to realize--he wants.

he wants to be allowed to kiss sam on the cheek or the forehead and it not mean anything. he wants his touch to be expected, to be anticipated, to be routine. he wants sam to tilt his face to the side to make it easier to reach, to sit up straighter when dean leaves a room to make his hair closer to his hand.

sammy looks up at her with a smile that looks like apple juice and missing teeth and boxes of flintstone bandaids that dean stole in hoodie pockets and pillow forts made on motel beds.

and she puts a hand through his hair and dean is fucking howling with rage, burning up from the inside out, fire tunneling up his spine.

mine. it's mine, he's mine. his childhood was mine, his skinned knees were mine, his sunburned cheeks were mine, his sleepless nights were mine. his fears are mine, his smiles are mine, his respect is mine.

and i'm his blanket, his calf to put cold feet under, the bed he would climb into after nightmares, the mouth that blew on his skinned palms, the bowl of warm soup when he was sick, the one screaming at his soccer games.

i'm his mom.

~~~

i can literally talk about this forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and [the limit does not exist]

it is no secret i love getting asks about these two losers

i'm sorry for the late response, work has been killer recently, but know that i opened our tumblr and lovingly stared at this ask! i hope you're doing well <3 i love when i see your name on our dash!

THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK <3333

-lizzy

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection | Day 6: Canon Divergent

Ladies | @ididitallofitforyou Rating: General Word Count: 1,130 Main Tags/Warnings: Established Relationship Summary: The ladies in Dean and Cas' life throw them a surprise bachelor party.

Yours Again | @tami-ryver Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,935 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Consensual Possession, Castiel Possessing Dean Winchester, Possession, Cursed Castiel (Supernatural), Gabriel is So Done (Supernatural), Castiel's True Form (Supernatural), Angel True Forms (Supernatural), Dean Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Wings, Angel Wings, Archangel Gabriel (Supernatural), Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Season/Series 05, Misunderstandings, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Fluff Summary: Dean just waves his hand, but stops when he can almost feel something brushing against his hand. His mouth turns into a wide smile when he realizes he is actually touching Cas' feathers. They are like silk and Dean can imagine himself being wrapped by them, luring him to sleep.

priority | @dcforts Rating: General Word Count: 2,034 Main Tags/Warnings: S15e18 Coda, Castiel's Confession Scene, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It Summary: The world is empty, he almost lost Cas again. The world is full, Cas loves him.

the edge of the devil's backbone | @cascigarette Rating: Explicit Word Count: 3,008 Main Tags/Warnings: Dean Winchester Bears the Mark of Cain, Demon Dean Winchester, Fallen Angel Castiel, Blood and Violence, Blood Drinking, Canon-Typical Violence, Alternate Universe- Canon Divergence, Rough Sex, Oral Sex, Face-Fucking, Come Swallowing, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Rimming, Spit as Lube, Church Sex, Angst, Porn with Feelings, Porn with Plot, Alternate Season 10, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester Summary: The demon burns, burns, burns, and the angel is a moth to the flame. Or: Dean succumbs to the Mark of Cain. Cas follows him. Whenever they cross paths, it's bloodthirsty and violent and addicting. Cas asks him to stop. Neither of them are sure if they want him to.

thank god for bruce campbell's abs | @watchinghimrakeleaves Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3,408 Main Tags/Warnings: Human Castiel, Castiel in the Men of Letters Bunker, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Season/Series 09, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence Summary: Dean decides to expose Cas to horror movies. In the process, he learns some startling things about his best friend.

What the Heart Misses | @thefandomsinhalor Rating: General Word Count: 5,546 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergent, Episode S15E14, Fluff, Sam Winchester Knows, Castiel Does Not Make A Deal With The Shadow, Dean Loves Castiel, Christmas, Gift Exchange Summary: After learning that the Winchesters and Jack celebrated Christmas with Mrs. Butters, Castiel takes the opportunity to give Dean a Christmas present. Which then prompts Dean to reflect on the nature of their bond.

a light in the dark burning brighter | Chi_Yagami (AO3) Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 6,092 Main Tags/Warnings: finale fix-it, injured Dean Winchester, hurt/comfort, confessions, kid Jack Kline, team free will at the beach, Dean finally gets his little umbrella drink Summary: Three weeks after Castiel is pulled from the Empty, when Dean can finally eat solid food and sit up in bed on his own and complain about being fussed over, Sam asks what they can do to make Dean's recovery a better experience—for everyone, Sam adds. Ducking his head, Dean admits to his brother that he still wants to go to the beach and sip on one of those little umbrella drinks in a coconut.

insi(de an)d outside | @thisisapaige Rating: Mature Word Count: 6,688 Main Tags/Warnings: Castiel as God, Angst, Alternate Season/Series 07, Sexual Tension, Castiel POV Summary: Castiel smiled. His Dean— His defiant, determined Dean— was ever the hero. Dean never gave in without a fight, without exhausting every plan and trying every angle. It was so human of him. Castiel could not help but love him for it. "Surely you know holy fire cannot hold a God?" Castiel asked. "You know me." The flames flickered across Dean's face, casting shadows over the hollows of his cheeks. "I had to try."

It was you, only you | @verobatto Rating: Explicit Word Count: 10,131 Main Tags/Warnings: Slow burn, canonverse, season 15, friends to lovers, fix it Summary: After defeating Chuck and the raising of Jack as the new God, Dean wakes up from a revealing. dream. Nothing will stop him now from rescue CAS from the Empty. But a new defiance is looming over TFW2.0. Will Dean be able to use his words this time? Or is gonna be work a big impediment again?

Murder the World | @thisisapaige Rating: Explicit Word Count: 10,160 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst, Canon Divergent after s10e22 The Prisoner, Demon Dean Winchester, Parallels Between Cain/Colette Mullen and Castiel/Dean Winchester, Switch Castiel/Switch Dean Winchester, Violence, Porn With Plot Summary: Castiel said he would be the one to watch Dean murder the world. Now he has a chance to prove it.

Loving you back in time | @verobatto Rating: Explicit Word Count: 15,683 Main Tags/Warnings: Temporary MCD (Castiel, Sam), time travel, top!Dean/bottom!Castiel, falling in love, enemies to lovers, winged Castiel Summary: After locking Chuck and defeats him, Jack comes out with a plan to get Cas and Sam back from death. Dean will travel back in time to try to really stop the Apocalypse from its root, this time Dean will contact Castiel before events, and part of his mission is to try to convince the angel to join him, explaining they're the good guys and angels and Heaven are not, while trying to avoid the urge of kissing his angel. But something won't go as they expected, and Dean will have to change the plan. This is mid season 15 canon divergent fic. The time travel is before Dean going to Hell. I mixed two importants moments, but they're not in the timeline of the season 3, with references to episode 1x12: Faith.

In A Parked Car Exhuming Ophelia | @an-android-in-a-tutu Rating: Mature Word Count: 17,741 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Interrogation, Demons, Grief/Mourning, References To: Homelessness, baby eating, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Heaven Politics, Unsafe Sex, Pregnancy, Temporary Character Death, Dubious Consent, Summary: The bunker didn’t lend itself to much natural light, and the utilitarian fixtures in the concrete hallways tended to sap people of their colour even on a good day. Maybe that was why Dean looked so much worse than Sam remembered, as worn as he’d ever seen him. The hand he pulled away from his face was shaking, just slightly, and he dropped it quickly to disguise the tremor, but the detail had already been seared into Sam’s brain. Something was very wrong. "I need you with me on this." Sam hasn't spoken to his brother in over a month, so when he shows up in the middle of the night with a powerful demon in tow, he's concerned. It doesn't take long for him to realize that Dean is keeping secrets again, and that whatever he has hidden behind his teeth has to do with the strange woman who seems all too content to remain bound in their dungeon. The demon with white eyes. All Sam wants is the truth, to figure out who she is, and how she's connected to his brother. But people who ask questions, tend to get answers. And they just may be more than Sam can take. An alternate take on season 9 that replaces the Mark of Cain plot with something much worse.

Rock & Roll and Feathers | @verobatto Rating: Explicit Word Count: 20,172 Main Tags/Warnings: Season 15, canon divergence, rock stars, case fic, rock star!Dean, bodyguard!Castiel, mutual pining Summary: TFW 2.0 defeated Chuck, locking him down in a magic box and exchanging him with Castiel's deal with the Empty. Everything would be perfect if Jack wasn't locked inside another magic box too. The only way to release Jack, now the New God, is to find the key. Rowena knows who has it. His powerful father, a retired sorcerer, who would give anything to those who win his rock and roll contest. That's why Dean will sign up as a rock star, followed by his manager Sam and his bodyguard Castiel. Bad thing is, maybe winning a rock Contest is not the only test they will have on the road to reach that key.

Roadtrip to the End of the World | inkdr0p (AO3) Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 24,813 Main Tags/Warnings: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), Sam Winchester, Bobby Singer, Original Male Character(s), Team Free Will (Supernatural), Sam is a nerd, Dean is a nerd, Cas is an ancient multidimensional being, Road Trips in the Impala (Supernatural), Castiel stops and looks at everything, Las Vegas, Star Trek References, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff, Dean works through his experiences of the future in 5x04 The End, Dean Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Sam Winchester Knows, Dean Winchester Has PTSD, Sleeping in the Impala (Supernatural), Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester Use Their Words, Wingfic, Winged Castiel (Supernatural), Sam covertly gets Dean and Cas to go on a date, Dean Winchester Deserves to be Happy, Castiel Deserves to be Loved (Supernatural), Season 5, In which I repeatedly compare Cas to a cat, Hunters & Hunting, Slice of Life, Canon Divergent (erases 5x05 "Fallen Idols") Summary: “There’s an apocalypse on, Bobby. In case you forgot.” “No Dean, I didn’t forget. But unless you’ve figured out a way to stop it in the next couple of days, I don’t see why you can’t give yourselves a break. This ain’t a sprint, Dean, it’s a marathon. Besides, last year when we realized just how much had hit the fan I seem to recall you being real quick to---” “Vegas.” “Exactly.” “...The Star Trek Experience.” ---------- OR: Dean's back from the future, Sam's back from his break, and Cas is, well, Cas. As good a time as any to finally take that road trip Dean's been dreaming about since he crawled out of the ground and learned the Apocalypse was a real goddamn thing. All he has to do now is remember how to have fun. Fic takes place in lieu of 5x05 "Fallen Idols"; instead of Paris Hilton the boys are off to the Las Vegas Hilton, former home of the greatest place on earth: The Star Trek Experience.

but i'm singing like a bird 'bout it now | @dirtangeldean Rating: Mature Word Count: 26,976 Main Tags/Warnings: Car Impala (Supernatural), Car Conversations, Aromantic, acespec, AceSpec!Cas, accountability, 15x18 coda, switch POV, Healing Dean Winchester, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, Eventual Happy Ending, First Kiss, Dubcon Kissing(kinda), arospec!Dean, Aromantic Dean Winchester, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Episode: s15e18 Despair - Castiel's Confession Scene, Former Sex Worker Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Gives Oral Sex, Past Sexual Assault, Mention of Past Sex Work, Dean Winchester's Jacket, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, reader…i have taken liberties, Angelic Grace Kink (Supernatural), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Angst with a Happy Ending, Minor Original Character(s) Summary: 15x18 fix-it: Dean uses his one last shot to save Cas and succeeds, the fall out that happens when the unspoken becomes spoken all at once has a happy ending. The eventual conversations of comfort, duty, sacrifice, power, obligation, and love ensue. Communicationnatural. OR Dean can't bare to have Cas leave him. And the Empty allows him to stay. OR Reckoning with a first kiss actually being the opposite of happiness simply due to circumstance.

We're at the lost and found | @mercurialkitty Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 27,019 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon-Typical Violence, Alternate Universe, Canon Divergence, Post-Season/Series 12 AU, season/series 13, Fix-it, mostly broadcast tv level swearing with a few f-bombs, Hunter's Funeral (Supernatural), canon typical angel slurs, Domesticity, will they or won't they, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, relationship beginning, like an episode some story arcs are left unresolved, dadstiel Summary: What would the beginning of season 13 have been like if Cas lived and Mary stayed put?

Desideratum and Other Mishaps | @thefandomsinhalor Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 28,075 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergent, Episode: S14E13, Baby Jack Kline, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Protective Dean, Fluff and Angst, Dean Worries About Castiel Summary: In an unexpected turn of events, Castiel and the Winchesters find themselves with a toddler on their hands, when Jack, intending to regain his grace, makes a wish with the Baozhu—the wish-granting pearl—instead of Dean and gets transformed into a young child. Unsure how to fix the situation, and with Mary and Sam aiding the hunters from the other world on a hunt, Dean and Castiel are left alone at the bunker to care for baby Jack, where more than one revelation will unfold.

Dean Winchester and the Belly Button Piercing | @teeparadigm67 Rating: Explicit Word Count: 34,800 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Porn With Plot, Domesticity in the Men of Letters Bunker, Dean Winchester has his Belly Button Pierced (And Sammy Doesn't Know), Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Time Having Sex, Openly Bisexual Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester is a Tease, Castiel doesn't understand flirting, Idiots in Love, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Porn with Feelings, Canon-Typical Violence, Piercings, Ear Piercings, Pierced Dean Winchester, Navel piercing, Fluff and Smut, Domestic Fluff, Flirty Dean Winchester Summary: Dean Winchester was 23 when he got his belly button pierced. It was during a time in his life when everything felt like it was in turmoil (long before he even really knew what his life being in turmoil truly meant). He never intended to go out and get any piercings—his father would have never allowed it. For 20-something years it had been his best-kept secret… that was until one fateful night when a hunt went wrong and his best friend had to swoop in and help patch him up, catching an eyeful of his elusive secret. Castiel’s infatuation with his best friend took a dangerous turn that night (not that he wasn’t already treading treacherous waters with his feelings towards the man). He had already known that Dean had a piercing, but he had no idea it was still functional, and equally had no idea that a piece of jewellery, Dean’s own slice of quiet rebellion, would have such a profound effect on him. Now Castiel can’t help but want him and his fading grace is doing very little in hiding his… indiscretions. The idea of it slowly drove him insane. And what makes it worse… Castiel was certain Dean was doing it on purpose.

Castiel's Hidden Pussycat | @macy2me Rating: Explicit Word Count: 41,050 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe, Canon Divergence - Season 13, Castiel Adopts A Cat, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Dean Winchester in Denial, Castiel's grace is damaged, Boys Being Awkward, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester is So Done, Canon-Typical Violence, Eventual Smut, Frottage, POV Castiel (Supernatural) Summary: Castiel, angel of the Lord, has been saved by a cat. He didn’t intend to keep it. He didn’t mean for the green-eyed cat to work its way into his heart. It’s becoming a bit of a theme. Yet, here he is, smuggling a cat into the bunker. Cas and Dean have been doing a dance for nine years—circling each other, one step forward, by one step back, changing direction, never getting closer, never too far apart. However, when you throw a cat into the mix, the next move becomes a lot harder to predict.

When Dreams Come True | @avonlady42 Rating: Explicit Word Count: 65,616 Main Tags/Warnings: canon divergent, angst and fluff and smut, Dean Winchester has a wing kink, plot twist, inappropriate use of grace, top castiel/bottom Dean Winchester, explicit sexual content, happy ending, marriage, adoption Summary: After Chuck is defeated, Jack forces Dean and Cas to finally admit their feelings to each other and gives Cas his wings back in the process. They end up getting their happily ever after while Sam settles down with Eileen. Ten years they spend together as a couple, hunting when they need to, but mostly living the domesticated life Dean always wanted and Castiel always wanted him to have. Unfortunately, it all comes crashing down one day when Castiel goes on a hunt and doesn’t make it home. Dean will do whatever it takes to get the love of his life back and ends up getting more than he bargained for when he finds him again. This fic is canon compliant through Season 14 and starts off during the Ouroboros episode S14E14, from there it becomes Canon divergent with some of the rest of Season 14 and Season 15 being the same, but slightly different. S15E20 doesn’t exist and there is an alternate storyline 10 years into the future.

We Are The Music Makers (WIP) | Clairebearer (AO3) Rating: Explicit Word Count: 120,932 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Canon Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Castiel, Action/Adventure, Romance, Sexuality, Domestic Dean Winchester, Human Castiel, Reaper Dean, BAMF Dean, BAMF Castiel, BAMF Sam, Greek Mythology - Freeform, It's all about the souls, Awkward Sexual Situations, Sexual Fantasy, Slow Build, Case Fic, Magic Mirrors, Dark Magic, Demons, Angelic Grace, Mental Health Issues, Trickster Gabriel, Musical References, Pop culture references, Movie spoilers, Fate, Destiny, Free Will, Canon divergent, Cupid - Freeform, Terminal Illness, Top Dean Winchester, Bottom Dean Winchester, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Dean Winchester is Not Heterosexual, Bi-Curious Dean Winchester, Temporary Major Character Death, Angst with a happy ending Summary: Set in the aftermath of seasons 8's epic finale. With Sam's life hanging by a thread Dean is forced to call the only being he knows has the power to help: Death. However, like most impossible things they come with a terrible price and it acts as an hour glass hanging ominously over Dean's head as his life-line burns away like a fuse, a full-time job as a reaper waiting for him. Time is short and the world is bent on destroying itself, so when the shadow of an averted apocalypse threatens to resurface and wipe out everything he has fought so hard to save, Dean must do everything within his power - and more - to stop it. His own feelings be damned... If he can help it.

Far From Heaven: Part Two | @Taymarpigeon Rating: Explicit Word Count: 151,921 Main Tags/Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Post-Canon Fix-It, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Fluff, Gratuitous Smut, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergent, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suicide Attempt, Homophobic John Winchester, Abusive John Winchester, Former Sex Worker Dean Winchester, POV Alternating, Top/Bottom Versatile Castiel/Dean Winchester, Possessive Castiel (Supernatural), Possessive Dean Winchester, Extremely Dubious Consent, Dom/sub, BDSM, Risk Aware Consensual Kink, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Consensual Non-Consent, Angelic Possession (Supernatural), Angelic Grace Bonds (Supernatural), Wing Kink, Castiel and Dean Winchester Get Married, Additional Tags in End Note Summary: Castiel is gone and Dean can't move passed it, can't bring himself to stray far from the last place he ever saw his Angel. A place so full of sorrow, yet there is love there too, lingering in the farthest, darkest reaches. Gabriel is done watching Castiel and Dean be martyrs. Jack's fixed up Heaven, all is as it should be, there's no reason these two idiots can't finally have everything they ever wanted. If he intervenes, if Gabriel finally embraces what he was built for in the first place, will it make a difference? Will Cas and Dean finally get their happily ever after? He's not gonna lie, leading three (not so) wise men across the desert was probably easier than this headache will turn out to be. Still, Gabriel maintains that it is possible to lead a horse to water and make it drink. You just gotta know which buttons to push.

[eisforeidolon]

MISHA IS SUPERNATURAL BIGGEST MISTAKE.

CASTIEL COULD HAVE BEEN AN INTERESTING CHARACTER, IF HE HAD BEEN PLAYED BY A TALENTED AND PROFESSIONAL ACTOR. ESPECIALLY PROFESSIONAL AND SERIOUS.

WE DON'T DESERVE MISHA'S LIES AND QUEERBAITING.

BUT I THINK THAT MISHA ONLY TALENTS ARE LYING TO PEOPLE AND QUEERBAITING HIS DESTIEL FANS FOR MONEY. THIS ARE THE ONLY THINGS HE KNOWS HOW TO DO.

DESTIEL ISN'T CANON. JENSEN SAID THAT SO MANY TIMES.

HE EVEN SAID THAT WHEN HE WAS ASKED ABOUT "THE CONFESSION 'S RESOLUTION".

HE SAID THAT THERE WAS NOTHING TO BE RESOLVED. BECAUSE EVEN IF THE "CONFESSION " WAS ROMANTIC, FOR DEAN NOTHING WOULD CHANGE.

DEAN ISN'T IN LOVE WITH CASTIEL. HE ADDRESSES CASTIEL AS DEAN 'S FRIEND AND ONE OF THE PEOPLE CLOSEST TO HIM. BUT THAT'S IT.

JENSEN NEVER ADDRESSES CASTIEL AS DEAN'S POTENTIAL LOVE INTEREST.

JENSEN (AND JARED) SAID MANY TIMES THAT SUPERNATURAL IS ABOUT SAM AND DEAN AND THEIR DEEP BOND AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

15X20 IS THE PROOF OF THAT LOVE. WINCEST IS MORE CANON THAN DESTIEL WILL EVER BE.

I'M TALKING ABOUT PLATONIC LOVE OF COURSE.

I SHIP WINCEST BUT UNLIKE THE HELLERS I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHAT IS CANON AND WHAT IS JUST A FANTASY.

15x20 SHOWS TO THE VIEWER THE ESSENCE OF THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN SAM AND DEAN.

SPOILER FOR 15X20.

SPOILER FOR 15X20

SPOLER FOR 15X20

DEAN DIES, BUT EVEN IN HIS LAST MOMENTS HE COMMITS HIMSELF TO ONLY LOVE SAM. HE SAYS HE LOVES HIM AND THAT IT'S ALWAYS BEEN THEM TOGETHER AGAINST THE WORLD.

" IT'ALWAYS BEEN YOU... AND ME". THAT'S WHAT DEAN SAYS.

THE PAUSE IN THAT PHRASE, THE WAY THEY EMBRACE, THE FOREHEAD TOUCH. EVERYTHING IN THE SCENE IS POINTING TO WHO IS WATCHING THAT DEAN GREATEST LOVE IS SAM.

THIS IS A CONFESSION. PLATONIC AND SO BEAUTIFUL. BETTER THAN ANY OTHER "ROMANTIC" CONFESSION THAT I EVER SEEN OR I EVER HEARD.

END SPOILER FOR 15X20.

OF COUSE DEAN IS ALSO SAM GREATEST LOVE, BUT I WANTED TO GIVE MY ATTENTION TO DEAN 'S BEHAVIOUR TOWARDS SAM VS DEAN BEHAVIOUR TOWARD CASTIEL IN THEIR LAST SCENE TOGETHER. THERE IS NO COMPARISON BETWEEN THE TWO.

WE ALL KNOW THAT SUPERNATURAL WAS ALWAYS ABOUT SAM AND DEAN AND THAT A LOVE STORY CAN BE ABOUT TWO BROTHER WHO SAVED EACH OTHER AND FOUGHT MONSTERS, EVIL CREATURES, DEMONS, ANGELS, THE DEVIL AND GOD FOR STAYING WITH EACH OTHER.

OF COURSE WE CANNOT SAY SAM AND DEAN WITHOUT TALKING ABOUT JARED AND JENSEN. THEIR ACTING, THEIR CHEMISTRY INSIDE THE SHOW AND OUTSIDE TOO, THEIR KINDNESS, IS WHAT MAKES SUPERNATURAL A SHOW THAT CHANGED MY LIFE.

I ALWAYS GET EMOTIONAL ABOUT THIS SHOW. THAT'S WHY I CAN'T STAND PEOPLE LIKE MISHA WHO ALWAYS SAYS SHIT ABOUT THE SHOW AND THE ACTORS ( JARED AND JENSEN)

THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO MY RANT, SORRY FOR MY ENGLISH, IT ISN'T MY FIRST LANGUAGE, AND I HOPE THAT I DIDN'T ANNOY YOU OR BOTHERED YOU.

MAY LOVE AND KINDNESS ALWAYS FIND YOU.

I have to agree. Also, your English is fine and I definitely understand the need to rant about all this nonsense sometimes, that's why I've got this blog! <3

I do actually feel like Misha was a perfectly serviceable actor way back at the beginning. I even get why they decided to keep him around when he proved popular with the fandom. It was indeed proven a mistake in so, so many ways as time went on, though.

Yeah, first and most egregious is the kind of person Misha turned out to be - or at least turned into after so many years of fans blowing smoke up his ass. A bitter, entitled, ungrateful, lazy backstabber who is perfectly comfortable telling blatantly obvious and contradictory self-serving lies and nonsense. Whether that's about the ship or his relative importance to the show directly, whether that's skeevy sexual comments about Jensen/Dean, whether that's trying to paint Jared as some kind of evil bully that abused him. He keeps proving again and again there is no bar he won't limbo under.

Next is I think his performance on the show and what his continued presence on the show resulted in plot-wise from the writers. He was fine at first when he was just playing a non-human mysterious figure that only appeared now and then and had a major role in the whole structure of the apocalypse. He even had a pretty good arc leading up to the Leviathans. The problem was they kept him around as a "fan favorite" after that when they really didn't have anything for him to do but eat up screen time to give J2 time off. Would we have really gotten so much bad, circular angel politics if there wasn't a need to give Castiel something to do to keep Misha employed? I personally doubt it. Even worse than that, though? As time went on, Misha seemed to recognize that his only relevance was baiting shippers and wasting time and leaned into turning Castiel into the type of character he gets written as in so much bad D/C fanfic - a pathetic mostly human woobie who is completely useless for anything but the projection of bizarre teen romance fantasies that don't make any damn sense. Which culminated in that bizarre ambiguous queerbait he and Bobo the Clown cooked up for Castiel's exit. Which doesn't even touch his later seasons' presumable attempts at acting where his choices for Lucifer!Castiel & AU!Castiel & Empty!Castiel were all ... entirely made up of bad accents and gurning. It wasn't about any of those character's motivations or places in the narrative, it was about the laziest possible attempt to differentiate them from his normal character. Even in latter season's SPN, which IMNSHO had so, so many issues dragging things down, Misha's lack of interest in anything but the size of his paychecks and con earnings played into some of the worst.

Which brings us to D/C and the whole supposedly canon thing. Canon is literally what happened. D/C didn't happen, it's that simple. Castiel rambled some ambiguous bullshit about love and got sucked into the Empty while Dean looked bewildered and sad at him from several feet away. Misha can make up as many stories about what the character was totally thinking and how he was totally coming back in the finale and queerbaiting about what will totes happen in a revival, but not a word of it actually makes what Castiel said "I'm IN love with you". Nor does it magically manifest a reciprocation from Dean. What doesn't happen on screen but actors or TPTB say about the canon is often called Word of God. Which yes, Misha's does not outweigh everything Jensen and Jared and various showrunners have clearly said. Jensen might have gotten less confrontational about shooting it down over the years, but the underlying message hasn't changed. Meanwhile, not only do the details of Misha's stories constantly change, but the general message of his claims has flip flopped so many times. The show was about the brothers, no actually the brothers and the angel! He joked about wincest, no actually he'd never heard of it! He didn't want to say what that scene meant, no actually feel free to attack anyone who says it wasn't a homosexual declaration of love! There's more, but Misha's not worth the effort of looking them up.

As you say, at the end of the day, anyone watching the totality of the show and seeing how it ended? It's very obvious the center of the story was a platonic love story. A complicated one, granted, but Sam and Dean so many times made it very clear that it was them ... and everyone else. Except in the same way that acknowledging that doesn't serve the hellers agenda in demanding a continuation must center their ship so they can finally have visuals to go with their fanfic, acknowledging that doesn't serve Misha's agenda of fleecing them out of money for telling them it will happen for as long as he can get away with it.

[ananke-xiii]

i know that ruby and cas are often compared in their "love interest" function but to me there's just so much more than that. they're basically opposite characters (not just in the literal sense of hell vs heaven): ruby seems to be rebelling against hell while she's secretly acting in its favor; cas starts off as a soldier following heaven's orders and ends up rebelling and working against it. they both die for their own personal cause, although ruby was not granted the possibility of resurrection. and aside from the problematic fact that death is more permanent for women than men in spn, i wonder if it's also because ruby totally failed at her "friend/support" function (because she was sort of faking it or, if she wasn't, she was manipulating sam) while cas manages to create a real connection with the human in his charge and it starts changing him. don't get me wrong, i actually love that her "reveal" was an evil one, and i generally don't like when the show offers us weak redemption arcs consisting in monsters falling in love with one of the winchesters (ugh). i'm also not a fan of redemption arcs in general but anyway. but i do wonder if the cas/ruby parallel is way more interesting in light of their "friend/support" function. i might be wrong but these two are the first non-family characters interacting with the brothers for extended periods of time. and having someone outside of your family with whom you spend time, who supports you, and that you generally like is important. not great news here but what i'm saying is that for sam and dean to have someone else was a big step. so while i like ruby as a character, i'm a bit saddened by the fact that they didn't give sam someone to establish this type of bond with. that he was being manipulated again. and this state of affairs stays exactly the same for many seasons. sam has 0 friends/support figures outside of dean, which is just plain tragic. with ruby out of the way forever, cas' "opposite/dark mirror" function is given to crowley (it's not a case that, again, the two died on the same episode, just like with ruby and just like her crowley, too, was not granted permission for resurrection). which, okay, for all practical purposes i like crowley (although i suspect i like mark sheppard more, tbh), but i mean, bad bad bad women who die die die must stay dead dead dead so ruby had to stay as such, but what about meg? we were so close to having her as cas' mirror :"(. i'm a fan of homoeroticism as much as the next person but i do find that in spn it sometimes dims the light on other characters, especially female presenting demons (don't even wanna talk about abbadon grrr). cas cannibalized anna and then crowley cannibalized all other demonesses, it's not fair okay? i loved them! :( *me: shouting at chuck: now you bring her back! ruby, meg, even lilith!* *puches the wall* **chuck actually brings them back in s15** *me: not like that, chuckdammit! clenches her fists at heaven*.

[hexedwinchester]

Things I Wish Supernatural Gave Us But Didn't...

Stanford Era Sam flashbacks that involved little snippets of Jessica and him. Jessica was hardly in four episodes but I always felt Sam and her were the best couple. Even Eileen didn't come close to that.

Sam Winchester riding a motorcycle. Have you seen Jared on a motorcycle? If not I urge you to watch Friday the 13th and Christmas Cottage (yes, that Hallmark movie). I just needed one scene where Sam hops on a motorcycle and saves the day. Dean's hella proud of his badass Sammy but ofcourse he'd never say it to his face.

Sam's Jelly Bracelet origin story. I have already made a post wondering why it never had a backstory. So damn sad.

Demon Dean feeding Sam his demon blood. Wouldn't that be the bitch of all ironies?

More of Sam and Mary moments. I'm so pissed that even after Mary was resurrected, it still remained about Dean and her. The only good thing we got was "For me, having you here fills in the biggest blank." We needed more of that!

Sam + side character bonds. Sammy never got to have deeper bonds outside of Dean. Jody, Claire, Cas, Pamela, Jo, Ellen, Charlie, they all were made to bond with Dean. Why? Dean, stop hoarding people, you already have Sam!

Sam's psychic powers/visions disappeared after S5. Imagine working with Rowena would have unlocked those powers! Sam with powers was hot.

More of Dean apologizing to Sam because Dean has treated Sam like shit and that ain't acceptable.

Sam + pet/animal interaction. Have you seen Jared with animals? It's straight from cutieland. Remember Bones, the dog Sam adopted when ran off on his own? Riot, the dog he hit? Or that familiar dog who turned into a woman? Or the old dog who wouldn't talk to Dog Dean if Sam didn't scratch her belly? Ok, on hindsight they did give us this but it wouldn't hurt to have more of this. Right? Also, why didn't Sam and Scooby have more interaction in Scoobynatural? Sam loves dogs!

Sam taking a shower. How TF did we not have that? Just Sam standing under a shower stream, head hung low, shoulders heavy with the weight of whatever trauma he was suffering with at that time. The steam rising from his wet skin. Strands of hair curtaining his face. How did we not have this glorious moment?

[rocksalt-and-pie]

alright I've made a more in depth list of episodes I would like to see in a fanservice season 16 as previously mentioned in my other post:

- human Impala (should be portrayed by a 55+ years old actor or actress with a strong Detroit accent and a very loud deep voice. they have arthritis in their shoulders because Dean never oils their creaking door hinges)

- Sam and Dean body swap (the potential for jokes is just top tier and the outtakes from this will be out of this world) (Jensen playing Jared playing Sam and the other way around sounds like absolute chaos)

Cas immediately recognizes Dean even in Sam's body and it's revealed that all this time he has been looking directly at Dean's soul 😭 (no kissing in this episode though. God the psychological damage a Misha/Jared kiss would cause)

- parallel universe with female Sam and Dean that they get sent to and meet each other / alternatively: some kind of gender swap curse that makes them turn into women (the potential for misogynistic jokes turning into more understanding and therefore changed behavior is just chef's kiss)

Bonus points for Cas off-handedly mentioning that he doesn't think it's weird that he wasn't affected by the curse because technically he has no gender and the body he inhabits is just a vessel (close up on Dean's face Thinking Thoughts)

Rowena takes care of it and compliments the female versions of them and it's kinda gay ("do we have to turn you back? Shame, would have been nice to have some female company, we could have formed a coven! Or done other fun things" cut to irritated glances being exchanged between the brothers/sisters)

- Jack and Claire teaming up for a hunt (preferably saving their damsel in distress father and step-dad that got trapped in some dangerous place where they finally have nothing but time to talk things out because there is no way to escape, you have to be freed from the outside)

- stanford era Dean flashbacks (feeling lost and alone on the road)

- Bobby and Rufus in the 80s flashbacks (including baby Winchesters!)

- Bigfoot hunt (the teddy bear episode doesn't count) but it's just an escaped gorilla or something. I just wanna see them hiking again okay I like the woods

- some, like, desert monster idk. filmed on location in Arizona or Nevada in the sweltering heat. the boys being forced to remove layer after layer of plaid. show me Dean in a tank top (handprint included)

- birthday episode (either Sam's or Dean's idc. How come that in 15 years there was never a case taking place during one of their birthdays!)

- an actual wedding, either Sam and Eileen or Jody and Donna or Dean and [gun shots]

- beach episode, show me those bathing suits. give me a Bond girl moment

- another Wayward Sisters episode please

- reverse French mistake although it would be absolutely fucking insufferable and I would hate it with all my heart (but it would be sooo funny)

- resolve all the other loose threads of open ended episodes (there are so many! The tulpa from season 1! The girls in the hotel from the haunted house episode in season 2! Jesse the antichrist kid from season 5! The witch twins and how one of them brought the other back from the dead! The kid of that monster friend of Sam's that Dean killed in season 8 i think and told him to his face to come looking for him when he's grown up! That's five whole episodes right there!! and those are just the ones i could come up with from the top of my head but I'm sure there's more)

- BRING BACK BELA FOR JUST ONE SCENE PLEASE

- a lot of you mentioned a proper musical episode, which. sure why not. a curse that makes you sing/perceive everything happening as music perhaps?

- and then of course. The coconuts gently colliding but this goes without saying

[angelsdean]

I don't get the part of fandom that highlights Dean's supposed codependancy with Sam: he lets him alone x years when Sam was at Stanford, he brings him back to Jess at the end of the Pilot, he is happy to roadtrip with and without Cas in s5 and comes back only because he worries Sam is going to accept to be Lucifer's vessel, etc, etc, etc.

(And there is also Demon!Dean who is like "Fuch responsabilities" lmao)

yea it's like. very clear textually that dean can and will give sam space to live whatever life he wants. even in 1x11 Scarecrow, sam wants to go to california to find john, dean wants to stay and solve the case, he lets sam go !! sam later calls him and dean updates him on the case the the research he's doing bc he doesn't have his nerd brother (putting himself down, self-deprecating as dean is abt his own intelligence even tho he's SO smart) and sam's like joking "oh is this you hinting you need my help" and dean's like, straight up, listen i'm not hinting anything, tells him how proud he is of sam, but i also doesn't beg him to come back, basically tells him to keep doing his own this and to "take care of yourself and call me when you find dad."

sam's often the one projecting or putting words in dean's mouth like "you can't stand being alone!!" at stuff like, not letting sam die ??? not letting your loved one die is being selfish and means you don't wanna be alone ??? in what world. most people will do whatever they can to save a loved one, esp when you're living in a literal horror fantasy show and not like, a basic family drama. and sam will say stuff like but also will do risky things to save dean. hell his plan to save dean from the mark put charlie directly in danger and lead to her death. so like sam is not one to talk abt being "selfish" to save each other. and simply wanting your brother alive is not a bad thing. nor does it mean you can't stand to have separate lives / be alone. though dean very much does not want to be alone, but. he has friends and family outside of sam. he has love interests and people he could build a life with. looking at the relationships on this show you see dean have so many closer bonds with other characters and then sam is notably lacking in comparison. rowena and eileen are the only two recurring characters (off the top of my head) that feel like sam characters. people that are there mainly due to their personal ties to sam. and yea they have lots of joint friends, like gath, jody, donna, etc but even then sometimes it feels like they're closer to dean. sam feels very lonely (and it breaks my heart really) and so a lot of the things he says abt dean and their co-dependency really feels like some projection of sam's own feelings.

anyways this got long and rambly but yea, dean tells us over and over again that he's good with letting sam do his own thing. that he's good with having space and separate lives. the main thing he wants really is just, sam alive. he wants his family and friends alive !!! because he loves them !!!

[dw19791967]

That Feeling Part 1

Pairing: Dean x reader (eventual), OFC Tyler

Warnings: language, unrequited love, angst, unwanted kissing.

Trigger Warning: This fic contains unwanted kissing, if that could be triggering for you I would skip out on this one. It is based on some experiences I have had in real life.

*All mistakes are my own!

Sorry for being gone for so long! Had a lot going on. This is going to be part one of a new series. I have no plan of when I am posting and I don't want to make promises I may not be able to keep. Thank you all for your support and love.

-Layla

____________________________

“And where are you off to this evening?” Dean asked me while sitting in the library. 

I went in there to grab my jacket. I figured he would be in his room or out at this point. 

“Going to meet up with a friend, you don’t know them.” I looked at him with a smile on my face. 

Ok, there is a good chance he is going to ask who, what, when, and where. He would never admit it but he was a little over protective of me as I was of him. He and Sam were the first people I had bonded with in forever when we had met two years ago. Sam was a loveable teddy bear, the big brother I had always dreamed of having. Dean….he was different. His cocky attitude, his smile, I knew I was doomed. I knew he would never see me as anything more than a friend so I hid my feelings deep down. I tried to find other ways to occupy my mind instead of dreaming of the perfect life with the older Winchester. That was hard. 

“How did you meet them and where are you going?” Dean didn’t look up from his book. 

“Well it’s a long story but we grew up in the same town and he knew I was living in Kansas now so he wanted to meet up. He’s in town on a business trip. I haven’t talked to anyone from there since I was 16 so I thought it might do me some good to see an old friend. We are meeting at the bar not too far from here but far enough.” I felt like I had to justify myself. Why does he make me nervous?

“Do you need me to go with you?” He finally looked at me. God those eyes. 

“No, I’m a big girl plus I have my knife in my purse if things go sideways which I highly doubt they will. He’s a good guy Dean, don't worry.” I grabbed my jacket and patted him on the shoulder. 

“Sweetheart I will always worry especially when I know you always try to see the good in people.” He went to stand.

I rolled my eyes. “I promise I will be careful, my location is on and you know I will leave if he tries anything.” I grabbed my purse and started heading to the door. 

He grabbed my arm. “Please be careful.” 

“You know I will.” I smiled at him.

_____________________________________________

I was waiting in the bar. I wasn’t nervous before but now I am. The fact that Dean was worried about me was nothing new but it gave me a weird feeling. Nothing bad of course, just a feeling that maybe he does care for me as more than a friend. 

My thinking was distracted when I heard my name called. “Y/N?” 

“Hey, Tyler! How are you?” I stood to give the man a hug.

“I’m doing great, damn you look good.” He winked at me. 

I smiled awkwardly, “Well thanks!” I moved to sit down again. 

“So how have you been?” Tyler asked.

“You know, same old same old, still same job nothing new going on really. What about you?” I suddenly felt nervous. 

“Oh nothing new with me either, hey do you want to get out of here we could drive around for a bit. It’s kinda loud in here.” Tyler moved to stand.

“I guess we can.” I moved to stand as well. 

It wasn’t until we were outside and getting into his car that I felt more nervous than I did before. He drove around and we talked for a bit. Then he pulled off into a field. 

My hunter senses were going off now. What is happening?

“Y/N” Tyler said. 

I looked at him, the next thing I knew he was kissing me. What the actual hell. 

“Please don’t” I said as I pushed him off of me. I got out of the car. 

“Woah hey where ya going?” He got out after me. 

“Listen I don’t know if I gave you the wrong impression or something but I was not ok with that. I thought we were friends?” I asked. I was holding it together fairly well and trying not to cry. 

“Well I just figured since we have known each other for a while now and you were kinda flirty in some of our messages this is where we were headed.” He smiled at me. 

“I’m sorry if I gave you that impression but that was not my intention. I would really like it if you could take me back to my car now.” I hugged my jacket together around me. 

“I’m sorry for doing that. I figured it would be no big deal to you.” He moved closer to me. 

I backed up. 

“It was. You can go, I’ll walk to the road and call an uber.” I am scared now. 

“Y/N please I’m sorry, let’s just talk about this.” 

“It’s ok, just please go ok? I’ll message you later.” I started walking towards the road. 

He got in his car and peeled out of there. Thank the Lord he left.

 Oh God, what happened? How could I be so stupid? Dean is going to be pissed at me.

I pulled my phone out of my purse. Dean had texted me. 

Dean: 

Why are you in a field?

Are you ok?

I’m on my way.

I sat down to wait. I never expected that to happen….

_____________________________________________

I had been sitting there for around five minutes when I heard the roar of Baby.

My head was down when he got out of the car. 

“Sweetheart?” Dean approached me slowly.

He knelt down to me. “Hey, what happened?”

I  broke. I leapt into his arms and began to sob. I am such an idiot. 

I looked up at him, “I’m so sorry.” I continued to cry.

“Hey hey, you have nothing to be sorry for. Look at me Y/N.” 

I looked at him. He had tears in his eyes.

“Let’s go home ok?” He stood back up. He reached his arm out to help me stand. 

We drove back to the bunker in silence. He held my hand the whole time. I had stopped crying at this point and went into auto pilot mode. 

We walked into the bunker. “How about you go get changed and I’ll meet you in my room, ok?” 

I nodded at him.

I went down the hallway and to the bathroom. I decided a shower was a good idea to wash away the shame I had. What girl doesn’t realize when a guy is going to come onto her, what girl freaks out when a guy kisses her. I guess this girl. 

I was drying off when I heard a knock on the bathroom door. I heard Dean speak “Hey I left your pj’s and stuff out here. I’ll head to my room while you get changed.” 

He was being sweet. Of course he was. He knew I needed him right now. How he could always tell, I don’t know how. 

I got changed then headed to his room. He was sitting on his bed, he moved over when he saw me and opened his arms. 

I laid down and let him hold me. I began to cry again. 

“He kissed me Dean.” I cried into his chest. 

He knew why I had issues, we had discussed that before. 

“It’s ok sweetheart, I’m here.” He kissed my head.

“I just don’t understand, we were friends, we had never discussed anything more. Hell, I've only talked to him for a few months now. I should have known better when he wanted to meet up randomly. God I’m an idiot.”

“You are not an idiot Y/N. You didn’t know. He’s the one at fault, not you.” 

“Who freaks out over someone kissing them, that’s not normal!” I looked up at him. 

“Y/N, it shocked you. You weren’t expecting it and he should have asked in my opinion. Especially if there was no hint of the night going in that direction.”

“I’m just crazy. No one is ever going to love me and at this point I don’t even know if I could handle it. I’m a mess.” 

“You are not crazy! Don’t say that about yourself. You are going to find the guy of your dreams some day, someone who takes it one day at a time on your terms, I promise. And if you are a mess, what am I?” He looked down at me. 

“You are my amazing best friend. I should have taken your talk as a hint of how the night was going to go.” I sighed. 

“You didn’t know sweetheart, and like I said you always try to see the good in people even when I don’t think you should. I was so worried. Especially when I saw you were in some random ass field. That guy is an ass and I would like to punch the son of a bitch in the face. I’m just thankful he didn’t try to do anything more. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to you Y/N.” 

“I know Dean and I’m sorry. I am going to look into talking to a counselor. I think that could help. Thank you for coming, for saving me.” I sat up and kissed his cheek. 

He looked at me. Really looked at me. There it was, that feeling. The feeling of being scared about how much I cared about him. What scared me even more was how much I needed him. 

“I will always save you sweetheart, always.”