#give me the unhealthy toxic stuff

[saremina]

honestly some of you are way too obsessed with having only healthy and wholesome ships

[sunnyslayed]

TW mentioning of $a, $h, @būs3

Tbh $H isn't doing it anymore. The pain doesn't fade like it used to. It doesn't make me feel happy anymore. However I can't handle that pain anymore, it's too much and I don't know how to deal with it. At this point I need someone to @būs3 the living shit out of me. Be as toxic as you wish. Use me, make me feel worthless. Touch me however you want, hurt me, cūt me, scream at me just, control me, be unhealthy obsessed with me, please, make me feel something...anyone..

[bbqhooligan]

i be so fine with my dad bod chubbiness and boom. "youd have smaller tits if you lost weight"

[mx-paint]

.

[animeyanderelover]

can i request gojo with a darling who can touch him even when his infinity is on? (I think it's canon that he can never turn it off completely so that would be his first time actually having physical contact with someone)

Huge thanks to everyone who helped me with this request by explaining how exactly Gojo’s abilities work! I’ll start watching the second season as soon as all episodes are out for anyone who is wondering. I added a bit of stuff to make for an more interesting read.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, toxic relationship, possessive behavior, clinginess, obsession, touchiness, manipulation, gaslighting, paranoia, isolation, abduction

The first touch

🩵Gojo has been having his eyes on you even before he knew about your very special abilities. That basically means that you have this white-haired menace terrorising your daily life whenever he can. You almost have the impression that he can sniff you out among the many million people in Tokyo as he always finds you somehow. You're honestly just so fed up with him but are terribly introverted and feel too scared and awkward to explain to him clearly how you feel about his constant intrusion. You doubt that it would get through his head anyways so you silently endure the man's clingy, whiny and increasingly affectionate antics. Satoru knows no personal boundaries when it comes to you or rather he just decides to ignore it. You're just too cute~ Your unwillingness to stand up for yourself leads to ruthless abuse from his side.

🩵He has had it coming one way or another as he senses your growing frustration with his unbelievable clinginess and disrespect of your privacy. Worst is that he's at this point provoking you because he wants to see what you look like when you snap. So when your string of patience finally snaps as you feel his hands rubbing your shoulders and fawning over your current anger, you've had enough. You swing your heavy handbag at him in a moment of short and impulsive anger. Satoru doesn't move from his spot as he doesn't worry. His Infinity is activated so the handbag won't hit him. It'll easily just be seen as you missing your target, which is right now his handsome face. He sees your handbag moving closer to his face and just gives a small grin... At least until the fucking thing smashes against his face with full force, heavy with all of your stuff inside.

🩵Everyone who would know him, would probably laugh at him if they would see him in that moment. The almighty Satoru, stumbling back in shock before tripping over his own feet and landing onto the ground. That would have never happened if he would have been around anyone else. But he isn't around anyone. He's with you. Sweet, weak and lovable non-sorcerer you. Around you he never has his guard up unless he senses danger. Not because he underestimates you, although he definitely does, but because he feels like he can just be himself around you. That's why he's so thoroughly unprepared for this. For a moment he just sits on the ground in bewilderment, his face pulsing with pain from the impact it just had with your handbag. You start frantically apologizing as soon as you realize what you've done, flip a bit out when blood seeps out of his nose. You quickly rummage through your handbag as you search for something to stop the bleeding.

🩵Gojo on the other hand, who slowly starts coming back to reality after this major shock, touches his face in a daze. When he pulls his hand back, his fingertips are covered in blood, in his own blood. He looks at the red liquid like it is something he has never seen before in his life, as if it's something alien-like, before he jumps abruptly up. You flinch and shrink when he bents down to your height, brilliant blue eyes seemingly trying to look deep into your soul as he asks you quietly how you just did that. His voice is slightly strained with emotions you can't fully detect. You do see some of them swirling around in his eyes. Curiosity, shock, surprise but also something else. Something you haven't sensed in the silly and clingy man before. It unsettles you deeply. You don't even know what he just meant with his question just now and Satoru seems to realize that too as he pulls back, allowing you to breathe again.

🩵He leaves you a while after that incident and even if he tries to keep his normal facade up, you sense that something has startled him. If only you'd know. Satoru's mind is occupied with this accident the whole day. How were you able to do that? You're a non-sorcerer by all accounts and he didn't sense any cursed energy from you nor from anywhere around you. You were honestly expecting him to not show his face so soon again yet instead he rings at your apartment in the early morning hours. You're majorly confused and frightened by the fact that he seems to know where you live as you have never told him that yet Gojo pushes past you like he's been here a hundred times before. His eyes briefly fly through your current home, noting that it is quite small if you'd live with him, you could have everything you would want before he asks you the most ridiculous question you've heard all week. "Can you slap me?"

🩵You look at the man as if he has suffered from brain damage due to your handbag yesterday. How does one even respond to such a request?! Weirdest of all is that he looks at you with genuinely curious eyes. Can you slap him? Can you touch him with your own hands and everything you hold in your hands even if his Infinity is on? You hesitate a tad bit too long before he decides to provoke you a bit to anger you enough to do as he just asked you. It works as it is early morning, you've just found out that he knows where you lived and you're also still quite tired. You're in no condition to endure his teasing as he reminds you of embarrassing accidents he's had the joy of witnessing. The next thing he knows, he feels the impact of your hand against his cheek with more strength than he assumed. Maybe he underestimated your strength just a tiny, tiiiiny bit. Nevertheless though, as he rubs his stinging cheek his eyes are glued to you as a realization comes to him that changes his life. You, a non-sorcerer, somehow have the ability to seemingly nullify his Infinity... How?

🩵It must be the biggest irony of the universe. His darling is metaphorically and literally his one and only biggest weakness. A tiny part of him really has to chuckle about this but for the most part, Gojo suddenly grows by leaps and bounds more paranoid. He is the strongest in the sorcerer world and he couldn't even count on both hands how many people constantly pray for his downfall but can only do that as he is literally untouchable. With his situation he would already be under normal circumstances be overprotective and slightly paranoid that someone would instead resort to making you a target and use you against Gojo. He has to protect weak you for that reason against all the evil in this world. Yet with the knowledge that you can touch and by extension of that also harm him, a new fear inside of him grows. What if his enemies would decide to set you up against him to have you kill him? Or worse, what if you yourself would decide to rebel against him and would try to harm him?

🩵If you wouldn't have this special talent, he wouldn't be worried. Because then you simply wouldn't be able to harm him although your betrayal would still badly sting due to the lingering scars of Geto's betrayal. Yet with the added aspect that you can actually hurt him, Gojo's paranoia worsens. The image of you being his downfall, the only person he genuinely loves and trusts in this world, breaks him somehow. It isn't likely considering that he is far above you in all physical aspects and still has other abilites, not to mention that you would never sink that low, yet the fact that it is the tiniest possibility is enough to drive him a bit mad. You'd never do that, right? You love and care too much to ever think about killing him or even slightly harming him, right?

🩵You don't know where those sudden insecurities and his paranoia come from, you never imagined the Satoru you knew for a while to be so fragile underneath all his confidence and silliness. You wish that he could revert back to that side of him, even if it was possibly only a facade. Because now Satoru is downright suffocating and scares you even. You can't do anything to escape his tight grasp though and even if he doesn't hold you, you're still stuck in your new home. In his own huge mansion, installed with a security system that would never allow you to step outside unless he's with you. You will never leave his side, he won't let you. No one is allowed to find out about you and your one of a kind abilities. It is the bittersweetest irony ever. The warm touches of yours he so yearns for are the only ones who could also kill him.

[scurvyboy]

ok its kinda awkward. but your super honest humble thoughts about fiddlebill but with possesing fords body (like theyre doing stuff but ford has no clue about it)?

idk i just keep thinking about these dorks and ok its super unhealthy but kinda funny how they could just kick ford out to wander as a ghost and he wouldn't even mind it at all bc it gives him opportunity to explore things in gravity falls

honestly that makes a lot of sense to me. allow me to refer to my graph:

as you can see, according to the challengers love triangle diagram, fiddleford is placed on the "horny" corner. This means that he is majorly part of the relationship for the physical aspects of it. obviously he still clearly has feelings for ford, but over all ford is more emotionally attached to both him and bill. also fidds isn't emotionally attached to bill at all and vice versa. bill would probably go for fidds because he'd want to use fords body to fuck something and he already knows that he would be game.

because of this, it's fairly safe to assume that fiddleford would bang bill while he's possessing fords body. I think he would be into it but also feel a little bad morally (his morals are shot). ford also seems like he only has sex with humans in two positions and refuses to make eye contact, which fiddleford attended coked out bisexual swinger parties in the 70's mcgucket wouldn't be into all the time. He would not have sex with bill in triangle form because he's not as much of a freak as ford is.

also i love the idea of ford as a ghost just hanging out and doing his own thing while they get nasty. he absolutely would use this as an opportunity to enter government buildings and look at classified documents.

I hope this was humble and in depth enough for you. and in all honesty, i think not even considering a ship just because it's kind of toxic is a bit stupid if everyone in it is a bad person. i think it's great specifically because they're all bad people.

[loudstan]

(67) Days of Whatever the Fuck that Was (Epilogue)

Summary: Chenle wasn't interested in committed relationships until he met the one. The problem is that now she is the one who doesn't want to commit to him.

Pairing: Werewolf! Chenle x Siren! Female reader

Warnings: Toxic behavior, unhealthy relationship dynamic, smut, angst, daddy Chenle supremacy, breeding kink, overstimulation...probably other stuff too, I don't remember.

AN: This is to give our toxic couple a happier ending. But you know me, I needed some angst. Things work out this time though, so I hope you guys enjoy it!

__________________________________________

“I can’t take you anywhere,” Chenle reprimanded you as soon as you both entered the penthouse. He took his shoes off and loosened his tie, glaring at you indignantly. “What were you even thinking?!”

“You told me to try to enjoy myself,” you replied nonchalantly, taking off your high heels and walking past him.

He grabbed your arm and you sighed. It meant he wasn’t done talking.

“Is that how you enjoy yourself? Getting wasted and flirting with my pack brother who, I cannot stress this enough, was the groom?!”

“I was sober,” you corrected him.

“Would it kill you to behave for once?” he groaned. “The entire pack was there–fuck, this is so humiliating–”

“Then stop trying to make me attend events and fit in your life, Chenle–”

“You are part of my life!” he exclaimed. “We’ve been mated for 3 months, Y/N. Get over it!”

“Because of a connection that you forced,” you spat angrily, pulling away from him and making your way to the bedroom.

“Oh, there you go again,” Chenle groaned, following you. “I tried to do things right with you, but you’re the one who started this fucked up dynamic we have!” 

“Blame me all you want,” you said calmly, sitting in front of the dressing table and taking your earrings off. “It doesn’t change the fact that I didn’t choose to be stuck here with you.”

Chenle’s furious eyes met yours in the mirror. He then glared at the handmade seashell necklace that adorned your neck. “What happened to the necklace I gave you?”

You pointed at the closet vaguely and he opened it to find a paper bag full of little boxes with all the jewelry he kept giving you. 

“I like this one better,” you said, taking the necklace off and placing it on the table gently. “It was a gift from my best friend, who I don’t get to travel with anymore because of you,” you commented passive-aggressively. 

“It covers my mark,” Chenle complained. 

“Perfect. That was the idea,” you said, turning around and staring at him challengingly. 

Sex with Chenle always started with a fight. At least that’s the way things have been since you two became official. You kept provoking each other until one of you would snap and pull the other into a kiss, which led to rough, angry sex. 

Today was no exception. The stunt you pulled at Doyoung’s wedding made him turn red with anger and jealousy. He didn’t want to ruin the event so he laughed it off in front of the others and gave your thigh a warning squeeze under the table. But once you were finally home he could release all that pent-up frustration by pounding into you relentlessly.

Now your hands were tied behind your back with his belt and your chest was pressed on the wooden surface of the same dressing table you were sitting at earlier. You both were still fully dressed; you with your tiny dress pulled up so the fabric rested wrinkled on your back and your panties had been moved to the side to allow the pleasurable intrusion. He was still wearing his half-unbuttoned shirt and his pants and underwear pooled on the floor around his legs. There had been no time to get undressed. When you both were this angry you needed each other fast and rough.

“That’s right, princess,” he grunted when he felt you tightening around him. “I’m the one who gets to take you home and fuck you this good.”

You wished you could scoff at his arrogance but he was fucking you good. 

“Right t-there!” you moaned instead, trying to communicate that he was hitting the perfect spot to have you cumming in seconds, but he already knew that. He knew your body very well. You were incredibly compatible in bed.

…If only you were compatible in other ways too.

“O-oh…,” your voice shook with pleasure. “Don’t stop, don’t stop–”

“Bossy, aren’t we?” he teased, but he complied. And with a few more thrusts he had you coming with a loud moan. 

“Who do you belong to?” he asked when you were coming down from your high, admiring the multiple hickeys and love bites he had left on your neck and shoulders. 

You lifted your head with difficulty and locked eyes with him in the mirror. “I…,” you croaked weakly, “I belong to no one.”

Chenle pulled you by your hair making you hiss. 

“What did you say?” 

“I’m not fucking yours,” you spoke through gritted teeth.

A subtle smirk formed on Chenle’s lips. He pulled out of you, despite not having had his release yet, and forced you to sit back down on the chair. 

“We’ll see about that,” he said, casually walking away.

“Aren’t you going to untie me?” you asked with a scoff, watching his movements in the mirror.

“Who said we were done?” he replied with another question, turning around to show you what he had gone to find in his nightstand drawer: a hitachi wand.

“Chenle,” you warned him, trying to give him an intimidating glare, but he either didn’t notice or he didn’t care, pulling a chair to sit right behind you, spreading his legs to fit you between them, and placing the vibrator dangerously close to your crotch. 

You locked eyes in the mirror.

“Anything you wanna say?” he asked with fake innocence. “Do you finally want to admit that you’re mine? Or do you maybe want to apologize for being a brat at the wedding?”

You defiantly clenched your jaw.

 He arched his eyebrow expectantly. 

You didn’t say a word.

So he turned on the toy and pressed it against your clothed cunt harshly. 

You gasped and quickly closed your thighs but you ended up trapping the vibrator between them and increasing the stimulation.

“Chenle!” you breathed out, squirming defenselessly with your arms still tied behind you while he held you against his chest with one of his arms around your waist. “You…Y-you asshole!”

“Who do you belong to?” he asked you again.

“No one!” you yelled.

“Wrong,” he countered, turning up the intensity. 

You don’t know how many times he made you cum like that. He kept going until your body was glistening with sweat, and your brain had turned into mush. Your spent body was leaning pliantly on his chest while he teasingly grazed the wand against your clothed clit.

He moved his hand from your waist to your chin, to make you look at his reflection in the mirror.

“Who do you belong to?” he whispered looking into your dazed eyes, but your eyes rolled back as another orgasm hit you before you could respond.

Chenle chuckled. “You look so cute like this,” he murmured. “So docile. Now all you have to do is say you belong to me and you’ll be my perfect little princess.”

You let out a soft whimper, but that wasn’t the answer he wanted. It was cruel how he placed the wet toy on your abused pussy again and started moving it in circles. A silent scream escaped you, followed by pathetic sobs.

“My poor Y/N,” he whispered, kissing your tear-stained cheek. “Let me help you. All you have to do is say ‘I’m yours’. C’mon, princess, say it.”

“I-I’m y–...haa,” you babbled incoherently.

“Almost there, Y/N, you’re doing so well,” he praised you without stopping his hand from tormenting you with the vibrator. “Say ‘I’m yours.’”

“I’m y-yours…,” you choked out.

“Louder,” he groaned, nibbling on your neck.

“I’m yours,” you sobbed, trembling because of a new orgasm approaching.

“Louder!”

“I’m yours, daddy–,” you cried, with a breathy, high-pitched moan, squirting all over the toy and his hand.

Chenle’s eyes widened and he dropped the hitachi wand in shock. Did you just call him daddy?!

He released a breath he didn’t even know he was holding and he slowly untangled his arms from your body to make three discoveries:

He had come untouched. A generous amount of sticky white liquid decorated the back of your wrinkled dress.

You were about to pass out, so he quickly untied your wrists and picked you up to take you to the bed.

He had marked you. Again. As soon as he gently lay you down he saw a fresh wound on your neck, barely an inch away from the one he gave you months ago.

He quickly went to grab a wet towel to clean you up with one hand, while holding his phone with the other to call Jaemin.

“Hello?” Answered Jaemin’s sleepy voice.

“I bit my mate,” Chenle blurted out anxiously.

“…Yeah,” the older wolf’s voice replied after a moment of silence. “That’s what we do…”

“I mean—I bit her again. I gave her another mark,” Chenle explained.

“Congratulations,” Jaemin yawned. 

“She’s gonna be okay, right?” Chenle asked nervously. Jaemin was a healer so he surely knew what to do in this case.

“Chenle, it’s fine. We only need to mark our mates once to bond them to us, but an extra bite or two is not unheard of.”

“…So it’s not dangerous?”

“It’s not,” Jaemin assured him. “Now, calm down and go to bed. It’s 3 AM.”

Chenle mumbled a ‘thank you’ and hung up the phone. 

He continued cleaning your body carefully. Then he changed your clothes into something more comfortable; one of the silky PJs that he had bought you and you refused to wear. Finally, he removed your makeup and applied some ointment on your sore wrists while you slept peacefully. 

Trying to not wake you up, he lay down on his side of the bed after taking a shower. He was about to fall asleep when he felt your body’s warmth closer to him and one of your arms hugged his waist.

“Y/N?” He whispered, but there was no reply. You were asleep. 

Chenle sighed and turned to his side to face you, gently accommodating you in his arms and caressing your hair. It wasn’t the first time that you got close to him in your sleep. 

He only wished you acted like this when you were awake too. 

A couple of days later you received an unexpected visit.

You were coming out of the shower when you heard the bell ring followed by distant voices. You assumed they were Chenle’s friends who you weren’t interested in meeting so you continued getting dressed and drying your hair nonchalantly until Chenle entered the room. 

“Can you come out when you’re ready?” He asked quietly.

“Why?” You asked back monotonously.

“Taeyong hyung and Doyoung hyung are here.”

Ah, yes. You remembered them; the one who’s about to be a dad and the one who just got married. 

“So?” 

“They said there’s something they need to discuss with both of us.”

You sighed. “Do they also want to tell me off because of what happened at the wedding? It was a harmless joke.”

“I don’t reckon they’re here to give you an award,” he deadpanned.

“I don’t wanna hear it,” you shrugged, going back to applying lotion on your legs.

“Y/N,” he paused to take a deep breath in and exhale slowly, trying to avoid an argument in case his pack members heard. “Please,” he said through gritted teeth.

You sighed and muttered an annoyed ‘fine’, finishing your beauty routine while Chenle went to entertain the guests. You heard the sound of their animated talk and laughter, but it stopped abruptly when you came out of the room to join them.

Taeyong was the first to see you. His mouth opened in shock and his eyes widened. Right after, Doyoung looked your way and gasped. Finally, Chenle followed their eyes and understood what had caused such commotion: your tank top exposed all the recent marks Chenle had left on your body. From the purple and greenish bruises all over your neck and chest to your still reddened wrists. 

He quickly stood up and dragged you back to the bedroom.

“What are you doing?!” He whisper-shouted.

“You told me to join you,” you reminded him.

“When you’re ready.”

“I am ready,” You replied confusedly.

“I mean—,” he sighed defeatedly. “Can you cover up, please?”

“Cover up?” You scoffed.

“Unless you want to show off my marks.”

“As if,” you deadpanned.

“Then put on a proper shirt before you join us,” he said, leaving the bedroom to go back to his guests.

There was an awkward silence in the living room.

“It’s not what it looks like,” Chenle finally said.

“Looks like you mauled her,” Taeyong commented.

“She could easily convince the police you kidnapped her with those wrists,” Doyoung added.

“It was just…sex stuff,” Chenle quickly assured.

“Even the extra bite?” Doyoung asked skeptically. 

“Google says it happens sometimes,” Chenle defended himself with the knowledge he gathered from the internet. “Jaemin said so too.”

“If you’re feeling desperately possessive, yes,” Taeyong nodded slowly.

Before the younger could reply, you joined them again, this time wearing a t-shirt that covered you a little better. You sat down on the same sofa as your mate but in the opposite corner. 

“Hey,” Taeyong greeted you with a polite smile. “I don’t know if you remember us. I’m Taeyong and this is Doyoung. We’re Chenle’s pack brothers.”

“How’s it going, Y/N?” Doyoung asked, smiling too.

You thought about it for a second. Should you tell him you hated your life here and while Chenle googled if it was okay to bite his mate more than once you googled how to get rid of the mating bond? 

“All good,” you said instead.

“Is Chenle treating you well?” Taeyong asked this time.

“Of course I am,” Chenle scoffed.

“I’m asking her.”

You paused again. To be fair, he cared for you a lot. He was always making sure you ate and trying to remember the things you like to get them for you. The only problem was that your only form of communication was arguing or yelling at each other.

“Yeah, fine,” you shrugged.

Taeyong and Doyoung exchanged worried looks before Doyoung spoke up.

“Okay…don’t panic but this is an intervention.”

“A what?!” both you and Chenle shrieked.

“We know that the way your relationship started was…unusual,” Doyoung explained, choosing his words carefully. “But we were hoping you would be getting along by now.”

“And you’re not,” Taeyong declared. “It’s been months and you don’t seem to be able to stand each other.”

“Because we hate each other,” you agreed.

“No, we don’t,” Chenle contradicted you quickly. “We’re just going through a rough patch.”

“This entire relationship is a rough patch!” you rolled your eyes.

“Maybe if someone wasn’t so stubborn–”

“This is exactly what I mean,” Doyoung intervened. “Even if you imprinted on each other…maybe you two–...”

“Maybe you two shouldn’t be together,” Taeyong said with a sigh.

There was a dead silence in the room.

“That’s ridiculous,” Chenle murmured. “I imprinted on her.”

“I know,” Taeyong nodded with sad eyes. “But maybe you shouldn’t have.”

Chenle opened his mouth and closed it dumbly again. Taeyong, a hopeless romantic who firmly believed in imprinting and destiny, was telling him that you two were the exception. Your relationship was bad enough to make him question The Moon’s choice of mates.

“We’re already mated,” Chenle insisted. 

“There are ways to undo it.”

“Do you want me to suffer to death?” Chenle finally snapped. “You know damn well a wolf can’t survive for long if they part with their mate.”

“There are wolves who have never met their mate and they live a good life,” Taeyong informed him.

“But we already met!”

“That can also be undone.”

You, who had been quiet the entire time, finally spoke up. “...What do you mean?”

“It’s…uncommon,” Doyoung spoke cautiously. “Memory-erasing spells are against the law…But there are cases in which a partial memory block is allowed if taken to court–”

“What are you talking about?” Chenle growled, glaring at Doyoung like he had just insulted him.

“If you two forget you ever met, the bond will break easily and you two can go separate ways,” Doyoung explained.

“No,” Chenle shook his head stubbornly. “We’ll fix our problems ourselves.”

Taeyong sighed before turning to you and calling your name softly. “Y/N, what do you think?”

You stared at him blankly. You had been actively looking for ways to break the bond but losing all memories of Chenle was so…permanent. You looked at Doyoung, and then at Chenle, who was watching you intently.

“And then what?” you finally asked. “My crew left a while ago and I don’t know anyone here. What becomes of me once I forget the reason I’m here?”

“You could contact someone you trust—a friend or family member, and we can wait until they get here to take care of you before proceeding,” Taeyong said. “If you want to proceed, that is.”

You nodded absentmindedly, under Chenle’s incredulous eyes. 

“If this is something you both want to do, I’ll handle your case myself,” Doyoung assured you. “I know a few people that could speed this up a bit.”

“But,” Taeyong added, “you must understand that once it’s done there’s no way back.”

You nodded again. Chenle remained silent.

“Can I think about it?” you finally asked.

“Of course,” Taeyong said. “This is a very important decision, so please take as much time as you need.”

You thanked him. Chenle didn’t.

Even when they were finally gone, Chenle wouldn’t speak. It was only when you were lying in bed, your eyes closed as you tried to fall asleep that you heard his quiet voice from beside you.

“I can’t believe you’re considering it.”

You turned your head to the side and opened your eyes. He was staring at the ceiling.

“Is it really that surprising? All we do is fight,” you said.

When he didn’t reply for a whole minute you assumed the conversation was over and turned to lie on your side, staring at the wall.

“I don’t hate you,” you heard him murmur after a while.

“I don’t actually hate you either…,” you replied, not daring to look at him. “I just say stuff sometimes.”

“Sometimes I can be…mean, too.”

You smiled bitterly. “Quite the pair we are, huh?”

“Could be worse.”

“Have you seen worse?” you asked, turning around again to look at him. He was already staring you back.

“...No,” he admitted.

You snorted and he laughed softly too.

“We suck,” he said lightheartedly like the situation was so bad all he could do was laugh.

“But at least I’m quite good at sucking,” you teased him.

“Can you not give me a hard-on right now?” he groaned. “We were having a moment.”

“Not my fault you’re not as good at sucking as me,” you shrugged.

His eyes lit up and you could distinguish the hint of a smirk on his face despite the dim light in the room.

“Yeah?” he breathed out.

Sex with Chenle always started with a fight. This was probably the only exception. Both of you playfully pleasuring each other with no aggression driving your actions was just new. But you definitely didn’t hate having your mouth on his cock while he had you sitting on his face. 

You swirled your tongue around the tip, determined to make him come first. He gasped and his hips chased your mouth, but when he heard you giggle he quickly focused back on his task of getting you off first. He licked long stripes up and down your pussy and you moaned around him. Now was his turn to chuckle.

“Having fun?” you breathed out, pulling him out of your mouth momentarily.

He hummed, flicking your clit with the tip of his tongue playfully.

You let out a choked moan. Cheeky bastard.

But you weren’t going to lose. You quickly took him back in your mouth and deep-throated him as far as you could, trying to ignore the uncomfortable stretch. He moaned loudly, but soon retaliated, grabbing onto your ass cheeks and pulling you down forcefully towards his face.

Your eyes rolled back as you moaned, bobbing your head up and down. He was equally desperate, moving his head up and down, and then side to side to let his tongue stroke your cunt in all the right places. Soon you both lost control; you rode his face mindlessly, and he fucked into your mouth eagerly; both of you holding onto each other’s thighs and letting out lewd, wet, loud sounds until you saw white and were trembling with pleasure.

“F-fuck…,” he whispered when you both were lying side by side, trying to catch your breath.

“You didn’t have to go that hard,” you mumbled, still unable to stop your legs from twitching.

“You sucked the soul out of me,” he countered.

“I won by the way,” you said.

He quickly turned to look at you, frowning. “You did not. You came first.”

“Ha! You wish, pup. You came first.”

“You fucking liar!” 

…Sometimes, sex with Chenle also ended with a fight. And then your relationship would go back to being as unpleasant as usual.

Until it got worse.

“I talked to Yeosang,” you casually said one day, interrupting the awkward meal you were sharing.

“Who?” he asked, uninterested.

“Yeosang,” you repeated. “One of my crew members. My best friend.”

Chenle hummed. “The one who worked with you at the bar?”

“Yeah. He’ll be here in about three weeks.”

“He’s visiting?”

“Sort of,” you murmured. “Taeyong said it would be better for someone I trust to be near when we…you know…”

Chenle’s entire body tensed. He stared at you in surprise before his expression turned cold.

“We’re not doing that,” he said curtly. 

“Chenle–”

“I said no,” he declared going back to eating.

“I made up my mind,” you said.

“So did I.”

“I already told Taeyong.”

“Wha–” he choked on his own words, looking betrayed. “This is something that concerns both of us! You can’t– Damnit!”

“All we do is fight, hurt each other, and fuck, Chenle,” you sighed. 

“So you decided to forget it all?! Forget you ever met me?”

You blinked your tears away. You didn’t want to forget Chenle, but you also couldn’t continue in a relationship like this.

Chenle mistook your silence for an answer and decided to end the conversation by standing up abruptly and leaving the apartment. 

He came back at about 4 in the morning, trying not to make too much noise so he wouldn’t wake you up. 

He mumbled a dry sorry when you sat up in bed to watch him enter the room. 

“It’s fine,” you said tiredly. You hadn’t been able to sleep because you were worried something had happened to him. “Come to bed.”

He wasn’t in the mood to fight anymore, so he obeyed. He took a quick shower and put on something more comfortable before sliding into bed with you.

“I won’t stop you,” he croaked. His voice sounded like he had been crying.

“Hm?”

“I’ll sign the documents,” he explained. “Jisung told me not to do it…but I’m exhausted,” he sighed defeatedly. “Do whatever you think will make you happier.”

“We’ll both be happier,” you corrected him. “Thank you,” you added softly.

He didn’t reply so you closed your eyes, ready to finally fall asleep when he spoke up again.

“Jaemin’s gonna be a dad,” he blurted out.

“Jaemin? The healer?” 

“Yeah…his mate’s pregnant. Well, she’s also Jeno’s mate, so maybe Jeno’s gonna be a dad. Not sure how that works. I think they’re both the dad…” he trailed off.

“They can’t both be the dad,” you said, frowning.

“Not biologically,” he shrugged, agreeing with you. “But they don’t seem to care about that.”

“Weird, but good for them, I guess,” you conceded.

“Taeyong hyung’s pup will be born soon too,” he rambled, and you swore you heard his voice crack. “I never cared much for kids, but–,” he paused.

You silently stared at him, noticing how he quickly wiped a tear away with his hand.

“I didn’t even know I wanted to be a dad…but when I met you I thought– I d-don’t know, I thought that maybe–” he broke down and sobbed, not being able to hide his sorrow anymore.

“Oh, Lele,” you called him the nickname that you rarely used, pulling him into a hug. He hugged you back tightly, crying into your chest loudly.

“W-why couldn’t we m-make it work?!” he lamented.

You kissed the top of his head, gently patting his back. “I’m sorry. You’ll have your own family one day, just–”

“Not with y-you?” he hiccuped. 

“Yeah,” you whispered sadly and your voice cracked too. “...I’m so sorry.”

You both cried yourselves to sleep holding onto each other like you were afraid one of you would be gone in the morning. Because it was going to happen soon anyway.

There were no more fights after that night. But the reason may be that you weren’t talking to each other much anymore. Now that a decision had been made, you were both feeling…empty. Just waiting for the separation day to come. 

It wasn’t until almost two weeks later that you fought again. 

Chenle entered the room to see you restlessly looking for something. His eyes followed you as you opened each drawer again and again until he finally dared ask what the problem was.

“My necklace,” you replied quickly.

“Which one?”

“My favorite one!”

“The one with seashells? You wore it yesterday,” he reminded you.

“I know, but now I can’t find it,” you said, opening the nightstand drawer.

“You already looked there–”

“It has to be somewhere!” you said, irritated, trying to think of places you hadn’t searched yet when a dark thought crossed your mind. “Chenle. Did you throw it away?”

Chenle, who had opened his nightstand drawer to help you look for the lost item halted. 

“...What?” he asked quietly.

“You said it covered your mark,” you accused him.

“You can’t be serious right now.”

“You hated how I always wore that one instead of the ones you gave me.”

“That doesn’t mean I’ll throw your stuff away! What am I, a child?!” he asked, offended.

“Is this your way of getting revenge because I accepted Taeyong and Doyoung’s offer?” you insisted.

“Oh my god–I didn’t touch your ugly ass necklace!” he yelled exasperatedly. 

“THEN WHERE IS IT?!”

“I DON’T KNOW! It’s not my fault you don’t take care of your stuff!”

You took a deep breath in. “Chenle,” you spoke more calmly. “If you have it, just please give it back. I won’t be mad–”

“I said I don’t have it!” he exclaimed. “Why do you always assume the worst of me?”

“What else am I supposed to think of the person who forced me into a relationship with him?” you spat pettily.

His eyes widened but he looked down before you could catch the sadness in them. In silence, he dragged his feet to get out of the room, closing the door behind him and leaving you alone.  

You huffed angrily and continued looking for your precious necklace until exhaustion took over you and it became obvious that it wasn’t in the room. The warm water of the shower helped calm you down, and as your thoughts became more coherent you regretted the way you had talked to Chenle. He may be an ass sometimes, but you knew it was unlikely that he would purposely do something that hurt you. So you decided to apologize to him as soon as he came back.

But he didn’t.

You lost count of how many times you practiced the apology in your head, but your mate didn’t show up for you to say them out loud.

It was way past midnight and it was raining heavily outside. You started to worry, so you called him, but the faint vibration coming from the living room guided you to his forgotten phone on the sofa.

Now you were straight out panicking. He was out there in this weather, probably not thinking clearly after your fight, and with no way to contact him. 

After a minute of hesitation, you grabbed a random hoodie and went to find him, but as soon as you opened the door you bumped face-to-face into him. His drenched clothes were sticking to his body and droplets of water slid down his face and neck. You noticed he was shivering slightly, but he took off his shoes and walked past you and into the bedroom without sparing you a glance before you could ask anything.

You only reacted when you heard the sound of the shower running. You walked into the bedroom too, nervously trying to remember the so-practiced apology to recite when he came out.

“Chenle I’m so–”

“The park,” he interrupted you curtly, again walking past you and sitting on the bed.

“What?” you mumbled, confused.

He pointed at your nightstand. “It was at the park.”

You looked at where he was pointed and saw your cherished necklace, completely wet but in perfect condition.

“Y-you…went to find my necklace?” you stuttered incredulously. 

He ignored your question, getting into bed and lying on his side, turning his back to you.

“In this weather?” you continued your interrogation, still getting no answer from him. “Chenle, that park is huge!”

Still no reply. 

You sighed, understanding that he was surely very hurt and needed some space. “Thanks…And sorry,” you whispered, getting into bed and accepting the silent treatment as a very deserved punishment as you tried to fall asleep.

But a couple of hours later you were woken up by a constant rowdy noise coming from Chenle’s side of the bed. As you slowly opened your eyes and got used to the darkness, you noticed that he was shivering. 

“Chenle?” you whispered, reaching for his shoulder and shaking him softly. “Chenle what’s wrong?”

He didn’t reply, nor did he stop trembling, so you sat up and turned the light on, taking a closer look at him. His face was flushed and covered in sweat, his body was also sweaty and trembling and you finally registered that the constant noise was his teeth chattering.

You muttered a curse under your breath and hurried to get a wet cloth, placing it on his forehead and pulling the covers off his body. He whined, annoyed at the sudden coldness hitting him but he remained pliant, letting you take care of him. Thankfully you had some leftover medicine from a nasty cold you had gotten during your first month together. Chenle had nagged at you back then but he made sure to nurse you back into health, and now it was your turn.

When the medicine kicked in and his temperature started going down, you were able to make him sit up so you could get him out of his wet pajamas and put on a pair of clean, dry boxers. He groaned and half-complained the entire time but he let you do as you wanted. 

He was kinda cute, with that faint blush on his cheeks and his lips forming a pout, while he mumbled incoherent words.

Not everything was incoherent though.

“I don’t want to forget…,” he whispered as you changed the wet cloth on his forehead. 

Your movements halted for a second before you continued nursing him until he drifted back into sleep. 

“I don’t want to forget you either,” you admitted. “I’ve questioned my decision many times in the last couple of weeks. I know we fight a lot but it’s not all bad…That night when you said you would sign the papers it felt like we were finally trying to understand each other and it got me thinking that if we opened up more often, maybe we could make it work…but then I ruined it again by accusing you of something you would never do. I’m so fucking sorry, Lele. I love you, I really do, but–” you paused when you noticed a faint smile forming on his lips.

“You’re not asleep,” you deadpanned. 

He chuckled and opened one eye to look at you. “Go on, keep talking.”

“Looks like you’re feeling better,” you rolled your eyes, about to stand up but his warm hand grasped your wrist.

“It’s the first time you've said it,” he said with a weak voice, but somehow sounding relieved. “That you love me.”

You blushed and looked away. “Yeah, well. Hard to find a good time to say it when we’re always yelling at each other.”

“I love you too,” he said, as his thumb caressed your wrist. “I love you so, so much.”

“That doesn’t mean you should spend hours in the rain looking for something I lost,” you reprimanded him, with a sigh. “You hate that necklace anyway.”

“But you like it,” he said like it was so simple.

 “Idiot,” you tried to sound like you were mad, but you didn’t look very intimidating with the tears that inevitably escaped your eyes. “You got sick because of me.”

“But now I got a sexy nurse taking care of me so I think I’m the real winner,” he joked, making you snort.

He sat up slowly, ignoring the cloth that fell off his forehead and his hands cupped your cheeks. “Sorry for worrying you,” he whispered.

“Sorry for blaming you,” you sniffled.

“Sorry for yelling at you.”

“Sorry for…the wedding thing. And all the other things I’ve done to embarrass you…”

“Sorry for forcing you to stay,” he finally said, looking into your eyes sincerely and with sorrow.

“Sorry for using you,” you sobbed, addressing your behavior before you became official.

His lower lip trembled and he pulled you into a hug. “Don’t forget me,” he begged. “Give us one more chance…”

You nodded, clinging to him and wetting his neck with your tears. “We can try.”

He slowly pulled away, holding you by your shoulders to look at your face. “Wait, really?” he asked hopefully.

You nodded again. 

Chenle was about to speak again when he noticed something he hadn’t seen before. His eyes went from your face to your body. “Is that my hoodie?” he asked.

Oh.

You had hastily put on whatever hoodie you found on top of your pajamas when you had tried to go out to find him, and then you had absentmindedly gone to bed without taking it off. 

“Sorry,” you mumbled, blushing and trying to take it off.

“NO!”, he quickly said, grabbing your hands to stop you. “No, god–...keep it on…,” he murmured, wondering if he was dreaming. You had said you loved him, agreed to give the relationship another chance and you were wearing his clothes? This had to be the… “Best day of my fucking life.”

You blushed even more and tried to stutter an answer, but his lips were suddenly on yours, and, fuck it, nothing else mattered. His lips were hot and wet as he pressed them on yours for a slow but heated kiss that became nasty too fast. You were both so lost in the feeling that you didn’t have it in you to even feel embarrassed at the string of saliva that connected your mouth to his when he pulled away, looking dazed. 

In the blink of an eye, he was kissing your neck wantonly. That’s when you remembered that he was sick. 

“Lele, we can’t,” you tried to be firm but it came out as a moan. “You need to rest.”

“I’m fine,” he assured you, weakly trying to pull your body closer but whining when his strength failed him.

“Lele,” you insisted. “When you feel better, okay?”

He groaned. “This will make me feel better. Please, you can’t wear my hoodie and not expect me to get super hard.”

You looked down and gulped. He was indeed hard and leaking through the thin material of his boxers. 

He once again tried to bring you closer but he was weak and agitated, but he felt like he could cry because of how badly he needed you. “Please,” he repeated.

You pushed him back so he was lying on his back again and he whined pathetically at what he thought was a rejection, but that whine turned into a shaky moan when you straddled him and sat on his crotch. A shiver ran down his spine and his cock twitched under you. He looked at you with wide expectant eyes, which rolled back in bliss when you rocked back and forth slowly.

“F-fuuuuck,” he sobbed, placing his hands on your thighs. “I love you, I love you–Oh!”

You bit back a whimper. You had never seen Chenle this needy and it was doing things to you.

“I love you too,” you replied and he moaned. Like it was the nastiest dirty talk he had ever heard.

“Wanna…b-be inside you…,” he whispered, looking desperate. “Please.”

You kissed him on the lips sweetly before getting off him to take off his boxers and your clothes. He let out a distressed sound when you tried to take off the hoodie once again and you understood that he wanted to fuck you while you wore his clothes.

You slowly lowered your body and felt him entering you, stretching you delightfully. He trembled and groaned, lying down pliantly, and letting you be in charge. The fever was making his body incredibly responsive to your every touch, everything felt too hot, and the fact that he also felt incredibly happy was making his cock jerk excitedly.

“Stop,” he suddenly gasped and you froze, thinking that this had been a bad idea after all, but he quickly explained what the problem was. “I’m so close I–...I d-don’t know why I’m so sensitive, but I…,” he gulped. “If you d-don’t stop I’ll…uh…inside–”

You bounced on his cock unexpectedly, making him release a broken moan. 

“Then do it,” you said. “Cum inside.”

His mouth dropped open and his stomach spasmed. He quite literally forced himself not to come at your words.

He had only come inside of you months ago when he mated and marked you. You had gone to get the morning-after pill right after and you had had quite a big argument about how it would be a terrible idea to have a child in your toxic relationship. His wolf instinct wasn’t happy about it, but he had agreed not to cum inside of you again and he had kept his promise, always pulling out before you two made the mistake of making an innocent baby miserable.

“Y/N,” he spoke through gritted teeth. “Are you sure?”

You resumed your pace, fucking yourself on his cock slow but sensually, and making him tremble with pleasure.

“I’m sure,” you purred.

“Y-you…Mmh–ah…,” he moaned weakly, watching you fuck yourself on his cock with lidded eyes. “Could get p-pregnant–”

“Fill me up, daddy, please,” you moaned.

Chenle saw white. His eyes rolled back and his mouth hung open in a silent scream as he shot a gush of his seed into you…and then another, as the endless pleasure made him shake from head to toe and sob.

If he was sensitive before, now he was in heaven. The implications of your words were very clear: you were staying with him.

He breathed agitatedly as he tried to come down from his high, which seemed to never end. Weirdly so, he felt like the room was getting hotter and hotter, and he was still very hard.

Oh. Oh right. It was that time already.

“Y/N,” he called your name, with his voice still trembling.

“Yeah?” you asked, caressing his chest and looking at him lovingly, satisfied despite not reaching your orgasm.

“Y/N, my rut,” he breathed out.

“Your–,” you gasped when you finally noticed that he was still hard–maybe even harder– inside of you. “Now?!”

You don’t know how he suddenly gained all his strength back, but you didn’t have time to question it when he suddenly had you on your back with him hovering over you.

“Now,” he confirmed, giving you a hard thrust that made you both moan.

He built up a steady pace immediately. He had your permission to breed you so he was going to do just that. As many times as possible.

The sight of you on your back, wearing his clothes and opening your legs so willingly for him to fill you up, looking at him with so much love was driving him crazy. It felt so different this time. It would be different.

“I love you,” he moaned urgently.

“I…uh, lo-ah, ah!” you tried to say between his sharp thrusts. “Love…y-you–ah, ah–Ah!”

“My p-pretty princess,” he murmured, mesmerized. He squeezed your clothed breasts, your waist, your soft thighs. “Want daddy to breed you?”

“Y-yeah,” you moaned, pulling the hoodie up a little, only enough to show him how deep he was hitting. “Daddy, here–”

A choked moan left his lips when he saw the outline of his cock appear and disappear in your belly. 

“Of course, princess. Daddy will fill you up right…” he murmured, pulling out until only the tip was inside and grabbing onto your hips before he rammed into you harder than ever before. “...here.”

You tossed and turned aimlessly under him when he started pounding mercilessly. He fucked you desperately but somehow you felt so adored under his loving eyes.

Feeling your climax approach, you used one of your hands to reach for your clit, but he was faster than you.

“No, no, no, princess,” he cooed gently pushing your hand away to do it himself. “That’s daddy’s toy, okay?” 

You nodded dumbly and whined when he stroked you fast from the get-go. Not knowing what to do with your hands, you ended up groping your chest clumsily, adding to the already unbearable pleasure. 

“Mmm,” he hummed in delight feeling a stronger release about to hit as he watched you being so fucked out because of him. “You love this,” he declared, amusedly. “You love me…”

You suddenly tensed and your back arched, hit by a mind-blowing orgasm that had you squirming helplessly. “Oooh….oh, fuck fuck fuck—daddy…daddy, I love y-you—”

He groaned at the way you tightened around his already sensitive cock. His movements became even more relentless as he fucked you further into madness. “Daddy loves you t-too, princess…,” he spoke hurriedly. “Loves you s-so much–gonna….gonna pump you full–Haa…so full o-of pups,” he continued reciting delirious promises as his knot started forming, catching inside of you. “Shit– Y/N…y-you’re my mate, y-yeah? You’re staying…Mmmh oh, oh yeeess… you’re staying with me, right?”

“I’m–,” you gulped, dazed, still pleasure drunk. “I’m stay…staying w-with you…”

Chenle’s chest filled with pride and adoration. He was going to be the best mate for you. You would be so happy together.

He hid his face in the crook of your neck and he bit you, again, before he could stop himself. But this mark was different. It felt real. 

Because you loved him back.

You whined at the pleasurable pain of his fangs piercing your skin, and his cock pumping you full of his cum at the same time. His body spasmed for each gush of cum that jerked out of him, but even the overwhelming pleasure didn’t stop him from whispering the sweetest promises.

Sex with Chenle usually started with a fight. But sometimes it could start–and end–with a love confession.

[yankpop]

Yandere BTS: You want to become an idol - Hyung Line

DISCLAIMER: This is a FICTION work only made for entertainment purposes that includes yandere/dark. I do not support or encourage any type of abusive behaviour. 

Check more: Masterlist.

Female reader

WARNINGS: Toxic/Unhealthy Relations; Emotional manipulation. 

AN: Hope you guys like it 💖 Let me know!

--

Jin

The table is awfully quiet, only the sounds of the plates and the cutlery being heard as you and Jin eat dinner in complete silence. 

You don’t dare to pronounce a single word, too intimidated by Jin’s cold aura.

He hasn’t even properly looked at you ever since you happily revealed to him that you got casted  in the street by a random lady to become a trainee. 

When he starts eating dessert, that’s when you finally build the courage to talk. 

“Jin, I really want to try this.” your voice is barely above a whisper, but it’s still heard by Jin, who flashes you an icy glance. 

“And I really don’t want you to. That simple.” he shortly says, his attention back to the food.

The uncomfortable knot in your stomach tightens, you’re not used to fighting back Jin. He’s the one who usually makes all the decisions and you obediently follow him, trusting his judgment. 

This time, you’re risking into unknown territory all for  a mere desire to be a trainee. 

“I just want to try it, maybe I could like it, you know?” you tentatively try.

Jin’s hand flexes hard around the fork, before he pushes the plate away.  

“We had a plan, Y/N, didn’t we? I'll work and make the money while you take care of the house.” he sharply reminds you. You open your mouth to say something but Jin notices it and puts his index finger in front of his lips, indicating you to stay silent. 

“We are going to get married. We are going to have kids and you are going to stay home to take care of them. This is what we agreed on, isn’t it? And now you want to change our perfect plans because of a selfish whim of yours.” he says, livid with cold anger as he crosses his arms in his chest.

“If I wanted to be with someone who’s unreliable, then I’d be with another girl. I’m dating you cause I thought I could trust you. Maybe I was wrong.” his eyes send daggers your way and you bite your lip, suddenly feeling guilty for almost ruining your future plans together.

Jin often talked about them with so much love and passion that you couldn’t stop yourself from agreeing with whatever he said. And now you can’t break his dreams because of something that may not work.

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you weakly nod.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I’ll back down from it.” 

Words never sounded so good to Jin.  

Suga

You excitedly watch as Yoongi opens the box. You want him to be the first person to find out that you got casted by one of the Big 3 for a 6-month trainee contract. 

But you clearly weren’t expecting his face to turn completely sour, the realization hitting him as his eyes run over the written contract.

He pushes the papers away, giving you a serious look.

“What’s this shit? Are you really considering going through with this? Without even talking to me?” he throws, raising his eyebrows. 

“Hum? W-What do you mean?” you confusedly stutter and then stop, too intimidated by the strict gaze Yoongi gives you.

He stands up and starts pacing around the living room.

“Then you thought completely wrong. Fuck, what did I tell you about making decisions on your own? Stop using your brain and leave the important stuff up to me since you obviously don’t know anything about this.” he furiously snaps, giving you an angry look that makes you shrink back into the couch. 

He grabs back the contract papers and gives them a quick verification. 

“At least you didn’t sign it. You’re not completely dumb, after all.” he sighs. “Where’s your phone?”

You raise your head, confusedly looking at him. Yoongi loses his patience and snaps his fingers in front of your face. 

“Your phone, now!” the small shake he gives you is enough to wake you from your lethargy and you immediately hand him your phone.

He practically snatches it from your hold, dialing the number he finds on the contract papers.

“Hello? This is Yoongi, Y/N’s boyfriend. Yes, about the trainee thing…,” Yoongi pauses, giving you a dirty look, “... actually she’s unable to do so because of some personal incompatibilities. Sorry for wasting your time. Bye.”

He hangs up the call before the other person can even reply. You can’t even utter a single word from how embarrassed you are.

You hold out your hand to receive your phone back but Yoongi ignores you and puts the device in his back pocket.

“Since you pulled so much trouble, you don’t deserve to have your phone back until you start behaving accordingly.” 

J-Hope

Hoseok forces back a witty smile as he tries to console you. It does create a bit of a turmoil in his heart to see you so shaken up, practically traumatized, but it’s all for a good cause.

He puts his hand on top of yours, faking a concerned expression, like a good boyfriend would. 

“And you’re sure you found it in the manager’s bag?” he asks again, like he was trying to understand it. 

You shakily nod, a shiver making your body tremble. 

“I- Yes, I’m sure of it. My lost panties were literally in his bag.” you sniff, shaking your head.

“I just can’t believe my manager would steal my panties! God, Hoseok, I really thought he was a good person, he never acted weird around me or anything so I don’t understand why..” You trail off, too shaken up to continue as Hoseok involves your shoulders with his arm. 

“That’s really awful. Disgusting. And…” he strategically pauses, waiting for you to ask him.

A second later you look at him, taking in his worried expression.

“What is it, Hoseok ?” 

He shrugs off his shoulders, pretending to be confused.

“I just… I mean, who tells you that he’s going to stop there, you know. He’s the manager while you’re just a trainee. Who knows if he doesn’t get bold with his actions and instead of just stealing panties he doesn't… you know.” 

Hoseok is clever enough to not finish the sentence, leaving the implicit meaning of his words hanging in the air.

Needless to say that you quickly drop the idea of pursuing an idol career. 

RM

“Again.” 

Your heart drops at the sound of that word. You’re sick and tired of it. Your muscles are completely sore, the white top you’re wearing drenched in sweat.

The result of practicing the exact same choreography for hours and hours to no end. 

“But I did everything right this time!” you try to argue only to be shut down by your boyfriend, who gives you a stern look.

“No, that’s what you think. I’ve been training and performing for years so trust me when I say this is far from perfect. No one will debut you if you keep up this poor excuse of dancing.”

The words are crude and they hit you in the wrong spot. 

Tears start rising to your eyes and your shoulders slump forward with defeat. 

Namjoon notices the impact of his words, his expression immediately softening as he comes forwards to embrace you. 

“Hey, I didn’t mean it like that, you know that. It’s just…. you asked me to help you practice and no matter how demanding you think i’m being right now, the truth is I’m nothing compared to professional choreographers level. They are going to be even more strict.” he tries explaining, offering you a bottle of water.

Drinking a greedy sip of water, you feel your whole body in fire, unable to do anything else. 

It’s too much for you. You can’t do it.

“Namjoon… don’t think I want to do this anymore.” you slowly whisper, your face falling into your hands in defeat. “I can’t be an idol.”

“It’s okay, babe. It’s fine, really. Hey, look at me.” he gently grasps your hands away from your face, and you look at him with a miserably sad expression.

“Everyone has their own calling in life and maybe being an idol isn’t for you. It’s for the best, I’m sure of it.” 

His words do little to console you and he still hugs you, even with your sweaty clothes. 

Hiding his face in the crook of your neck, Namjoon hides a relieved sigh.

He was never gonna allow you to become an idol and now that you rejected an idol career, he was off the hook. 

-> Maknae Line

[meo-eiru]

It's kinda sad tbh!! Knowing that Elian is literally nothing without his looks,, literally feeling unwelcomed or invalidated to anything if you aren't pretty enough it's literally everything to him I so agree w the person analyzing him !!! But what I am curious about though is his darling. What if darling were to be the same? Like also pretty co-dependent, self destructive, etc. Or what if they were to find joy in just.. Idk!! Sadist stuff , since he literally revolves around them. I think a darling who's also almost the exact same as him would be interesting, literally two people destroying each other what if one went away? Etc etc. I love angst ohmy. Or what if darling was the exact opposite? A good life, successful, basically everything he doesn't have. Would he be jealous or worship them?? What if darling just idk uses him as a trophy and stuff,, or basically neglects him, what if darling were to get angry easily? At him, maybe. Saying how useless he is and all. What if darling was bipolar?? Σ(゜゜) I love toxic relationships like how they turn out and how it effects the people in it especially YK the vampire yandere since it's literally just self destruction,, STOP THAT REMINDS ME WHAT IF VAMPIRE YANS DARLING WERE ALSO LIKE A PEOPLE PLEASER? giving all their blood to him with no complaint,, like very insistent yk, like almost the exact replica of him. Backflips away

Elias character analyses

Oh god all of these scenarios sound so delicious I don’t know where to start.

I love the idea of a darling who is similar to him nature. As obsessed with him as he is with them, being co-dependent together.

Elias loves being loved by you. Your affection is what makes him feel alive. He wants you to call him pretty and cherish him. Choose clothes for him and praise him like a doll who exists to be loved by you.

But he’s just so very insecure, he believes you could abandon him very easily so he experiences very aggressive jealousy fits. So a darling who’s equally obsessed with him sounds like it could balance things out. One that keeps their eye on him all the time, one that love bombs him constantly.

But as sweet as it sounds too much of anything is unhealthy. I’m afraid that co-dependance might break them both in the long run. Elias will probably want more and more no matter how much love you give him. Once he gets used to receiving your love he’ll probably start fearing that it’s some sort of momentary happiness and you could disappear at any moment. He’ll be paranoid. He might push you into quitting your job and staying with him inside the house 24/7 because any moment he’s not in contact with you makes him anxious.

But what if darling keeps pouring in love without getting tired? What if they are ok with giving up on everything just to spoil Elias? I think they will be happy. They will be very happy in fact. But I feel like they’ll be happy in the way drunk people are. It’s like a daze, an impossibly perfect dream. Elias might slowly start to lose the small amount of humanity he has and become completely doll like. Just a soulless, endless black hole of a creature that’ll take and take and take all the love you give him.

A sadistic (and probably rich) darling who uses him like some sort of trophy is also fun. He’s like a pretty accessory for them to carry around, like a handbag. I feel like for a long long time Elias would do everything in his power to please them. He would perfect his appearance to insane levels. He exists to be pretty for you, to elevate your standing, he can’t risk ever being imperfect in the public eye because it would damage you as well. And Elias wants you to be proud of him, he wants you to tell him you are proud of him and that he’s the most beautiful thing you own.

But maybe instead you put him down. You damage his ego to keep him where he is. Prevent him from trying to climb up to your level. Maybe you think he should stay the way he is, a thing that exists to make you look better. He’s beautiful and that’s all he should be.

But Elias is pretty crazy at the end of the day. He can only take it for so long. Elias is very petty and he wants you to love him.

At one point it infuriates him. You are so perfect. You are so successful in life, you are loved by people, you are beautiful, you are amazing, you are just so… perfect. And Elias doesn’t want that. The fact that you have everything he doesn’t, the fact that everyone else gets to see your perfectness, the way you put him down no matter how hard he tries.

Maybe you could love him if he pulled you down to his level.

He might start some gossips about you. He might lie about your business practices or some dating scandal. He might use his pretty face to act like a victim who was abused by you. And once you lose your money, your power, your status, your everything… Elias will welcome you back with open arms. You also have nothing now, just like him. Surely you can love him with all your heart now?

I forgive you but I don’t know if Elias will😔

[ponderingmoonlight]

Hello Carina! I absolutely ADORE your works I'm hooked Was wondering if you could do Geto/Nanami/Gojo/Sukuna x fem reader who grew up in a toxic household that encouraged bad eating habits like eating extremely small amounts and tried to always make her a good and docile wife. But she left them and is now pretty successful but her eating habits are still pretty bad Please stay hydrated this summer!

A lot of you guys request stuff like bad heating habits from me and I'm actually a little scared that I receive a shit storm for writing these sensitive topics, but there you go! I decided on Geto since he is the sweetest boy ever but if this goes well and some of you guys show interest, I might write something similar for the other characters as well - enjoy <3

Geto encouraging his girlfriend to eat more after growing up in a toxic household

Pairing: Geto x fem!reader

Word Count: 1,6k

Synopsis: After your toxic parents tried to force you into their picture of a thin and docile wife, you left them as soon as possible and became the best version of yourself - if it wasn't for your bad eating habits still haunting you down when you're out with your boyfriend. Until he decides to have a talk with you...

Warnings: Just let me tell you right from the start that there's nothing wrong with being thin and I hope it's obvious that we're talking about an unhealthy connotation in this fic, if you get triggered when it comes to toxic parents and hurtful phrases regarding weight please don't read this. In general, this contains sensitive content and a few pieces of ED and harsh language, but our boy Geto telling us how much he loves us the way we are

„You know you are totally able to eat more than that, right? We’ve been out without any food for hours now, you need to care for yourself, love.”

Suguru’s hand gently caresses your back while you stare at the salad you just ordered.

“You’re gonna look like a pig soon if you don’t stop eating like one, (y/n). Didn’t I teach you a lady needs to watch her diet?”

“No man wants a fat woman, trust me.”

“Thank you so much for looking out for me. I’m good”, you mutter after shaking their cruel words off your mind.

You can’t bring yourself to catch a glimpse at his comforting brown eyes, not when your guilty conscience almost eats you up alive. The stinging words of your mother and father haunt you until this day. Even though you left years ago and started your very own life away from their toxic household, even though your precious boyfriend Geto Suguru is the living proof for them being wrong.

Just one look at the salad in front of you paired with your memory is enough to feel like in your childhood all over again.

“Hey, look at me honey.”

Gently, his hand caresses your cheek and lifts your head into his direction. There they are, his oh so loving orbs, his tender smile that warms your stinging heart in an instant.

“We’ve been together for a year now and you still seem to be upset when you have to eat around me. I can’t help but wonder why you torture yourself. Is it because of me, did I give you the feeling you aren’t good the way you are? Because I love you with all my heart.”

You never allowed yourself to cry in front of someone else. To be exact, you stopped when you were greeted by nothing but harsh words from your parents with every tear that ran down your cheek. You are supposed to be a good and hostile woman, the perfect little wife for some wealthy man your parents already decided on when you were still 10. A woman that doesn’t speak as much as you do, a woman who doesn’t eat as much as you do. A feminine angel walking on earth with the only purpose to say yes and amen to her beloved husband.

When you were finally old enough to leave them behind, you packed your things and joined jujutsu high. Life is easier around here with so many beloved friends by your side who support and truly love you. Yes, they showed you how good you are, that you are independent and are allowed to have your own opinion, that it’s okay to say no. Yes, you even started to eat a little more and gained a healthy amount of weight and well-formed muscles.

They were wrong. Your parents were so wrong with everything they taught you. But this…

You bite your lip when a sub escapes from deep down your throat, hot tears now stinging in your eyes so violently that you can’t catch your breath. Eating has always been your weakness, the one and only thing you can’t fully control until this day. Their words still crush you every time you order something to eat.

What if Suguru doesn’t find you attractive when you gain even more weight?

What if he thinks it’s disgusting to see you eat like a pig?

What if he’ll fall out of love when you show him that you aren’t as perfect as a doll?

“I’m so sorry. The last thing I want is to see you cry”, he instantly speaks out, wrapping his much-needed arms around you so tightly that you sink into his broad chest.

“It’s just…I’m afraid to eat more…”, you finally blurt out.

A part of your heart flutters in relief when those words finally leave your mouth. For more than a year, you simply forced yourself through the aching of your stomach, the hunger that kept you awake when Suguru laid next to you fast asleep. All because of their cruel words. All because they made you believe your whole life you aren’t good enough if you eat “too much”.

“You don’t feel comfortable eating around me, don’t you?”

You simply nod against his chest, too ashamed to lift your head. How embarrassing to hear those words leaving his lips, that he already knows why you’re acting this way.

“May I ask why? Did I say or do something that makes you feel this way, love?”

Your head starts spinning. The sheer thought that he might think your strange behaviour is his fault, that he did something wrong is ridiculous in your eyes.

“Absolutely not. It’s…It’s…”

Why is it so damn hard to find the right words? You stutter like an idiot for what feels like ages while listening to Suguru’s steady heartbeat. He knows how rough your childhood was, that your parents treated you like the dirt underneath their feet. You were never good enough, never pretty enough, never smart enough. Until you became a well-known and rich jujutsu sorcerer with a charismatic man like Geto Suguru by your side.

“See? I told you you will find a wealthy man if you keep up with our education, daughter.”

“All because we taught you everything you know and kept you in shape!”

“No”, you replied immediately, straightening your shoulders while facing the people who made your life living hell for more than enough years.

“I did all of this by myself. Because I chose to be the person I am instead of the person you wanted me to be.”

“They always told me I’m too much, that eating in front of my man is strictly forbidden. I was supposed to be a thin and docile wife.”

Your voice is nothing but a far away whisper. All those nights your father scolded you when you weighted more than you did before. How your mother screamed at you when your curves start to develop through puberty, how disgusted they looked at you when you wore shorts or ate next to them. Deep within, you know how toxic your eating habits are despite the positive changes you’ve been through. But still…Just the thought of eating a cheeseburger in front of Suguru fills you with so much disgust that your guts turn immediately.

“You aren’t docile but strong and stubborn. You aren’t only thin but strong and athletic. Your body is capable of so much more than simply being thin, (y/n). You are perfect in every single way, your body allows you to fight so well that even Satoru admires your skills. You are so breathtakingly beautiful that I could stare at you all day…I am glad you didn’t follow their rules, that you didn’t turn into the good and docile wife they wanted you to be. Because you became so much more. Because you can do so much more. But for that, you need to fuel your body the way it deserves it even when I’m around. I love to see you eat, I love to see you happy and healthy. And I know how hard it can be to overcome things you were taught from a young age. Would you promise me something?”

Now you can’t help but lift up your head, staring at him through your wet lashes. His words, his oh so sweet words still linger through your mind and force your cheeks to turn bright pink. Is this really how Suguru feels about you, are you really enough for him just the way you are?

Why wouldn’t you? After all, he was the one choosing you.

“What?”, you mumble.

“Promise me that we will work this out. If you can’t bring yourself to open up to me, please consider checking up with Shoko or another professional. I admire you for all the things you’ve already did, that you were actually able to turn into a wonderful woman with that horrible family. I’d love to hang out with you while eating chips, I’d love to eat a whole lot of unhealthy junk food and sweets with you without you worrying about my thought. Because the only thing I care about is that you’re happy. And you being healthy and eating properly means happiness.”

That smile. That oh so bright smile that reaches his brown eyes and lifts up your mood immediately. Oh, you truly don’t deserve him. A new wave of fresh tears threatens to spill over your eyes and begins to take your sight.

But those aren’t tears of sorrow. No, those are tears of pure joy and love.

You throw yourself around his neck before he’s able to catch you properly, causing both of you to almost fall off his chair.

“I will”, you mutter against his ear.

“I promise I will work on it.”

“I’m more than glad to hear that”, he replies softly while caressing your hair.

“Would you like to order something else in addition to your salad, then?”

You let go of Suguru with a small smile, holding his hands tightly as your heart overflows with love. The man who showed you what you’re capable of, who supports you through anything. Sooner or later, you will be able to share food dates with him and enjoy them. But until then…

“I’m fine for today. But next time, I might order something else.”

“Fine. Just let me know when you’re ready, (y/n).”

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[signanothername]

I have a really stupid hc: nightmare takes better care of his minions than dream/ dreams actually really toxic. Like, yes he's the bad guy, but he takes really good care of his lackeys when they need help mentally and stuff, when dream is so focused on spreading positivity that he doesn't even realize he's hurting the others not caring for them and not letting them do basic things like eat and sleep properly

I’ve seen that headcanon around actually and I think it’s funny /pos

Like I love the idea of Dream being way too focused to realize the damage he causes while Nightmare has a better grasp on things

But also kinda gets into the shaky grounds of “asshole Dream” if not written well

I’m not really a fan of “bad guy” Dream, or the interpretation of Dream being that he’s an asshole who doesn’t care at all

The thing is, I’d love to see that headcanon actually be connected to the twins’ traumas, as I often see people portray them that way and only go for how Nightmare’s is kind and his trauma made him a better leader but Dream is just an asshole, and i’m here like.. WHY????

Like why make Nightmare a better written character just cause you sympathize with him? Why not sympathize with Dream too? Why is Dream’s trauma and the abuse he went through immediately ignored for the sake of making Nightmare kind? Making Nightmare the “better twin”?

Why not make both twins have both good and bad behaviors? Why simply reduce them to black and white?

Like I genuinely would enjoy the idea of Dream being toxic while showing that it’s not his intent, showing that he genuinely doesn’t mean to be toxic, it’s that his toxic behaviors are born out of how his trauma blinded him and how his actions are just the effect of a pre-existing cause, rather than just reducing Dream’s character to a bad guy or an asshole and that’s it y’know?

Like honestly toxic Dream for the win if it shows his vulnerability and how his trauma takes part of it

For me, when it comes to my own interpretation of Nightmare and Dream, I love to think of the opposite but only to an extent?

I like to think Nightmare would be abusive/toxic to his minions, but not to the point they collapse, (unless he was in a really bad mood and he had some sort of emotional outburst) but generally, he doesn’t care about what they do but he makes sure to make it clear that he expects them to eat and sleep and do whatever basics they need to do, as well as give them leisure/ down time for them to do whatever they want as long as they keep up, as he’s extremely practical and would not want to have them unfit for missions or plans he wants to carry (not out of the kindness of his heart but rather cause it would inconvenient him)

All while trying to show that Nightmare has a genuine sense of humanity (for a lack of better word) to him, show that he’s the way he is cause of the trauma he went through, show that he’s not all abusive and show that he has a kind side to him while showing how he squashes that kindness inside him due to trauma

While Dream is actually quite genuinely kind and loves helping people, and is genuinely trying his best to better himself every day, but is quite destructive to himself, he would not accept help from others, and feels the need to save others without saving himself, completely sacrificing his physical and mental health, and assuming he’s the only one who can fix things, a savior complex if you will, he’d work himself down to the bone without relying on his friends or anyone else, (this is a part of how he has his fallout with Ink in my interpretation) he’s too blinded to the fact others can share the weight with him

It’s completely unhealthy to his own self and by extension, he can appear overbearing and someone who gets his nonexistent nose into the business of others without considering their feelings or thoughts about it, and also appear as tho he thinks others are too incompetent to deal with either what he himself deals with, or what others deal with in their own lives, that he’s better than them in a way (it’s not his intent as he genuinely tries his best to be mindful of other’s feelings) but his self destructive behavior is something that Blue is trying to get through his thick skull, but Dream is too stubborn (a characteristic he ironically shares with Nightmare)

So I guess my interpretation of the two is the opposite to what is usually portrayed in the fandom, but I mean, there isn’t many interpretations I agree with in the fandom to begin with Hdhdhxhhd

[ryuseiired]

on mahiru's relationship

I wanted to write something up really quickly as to my opinions on Mahiru's relationship and what the dynamic there was like. I've seen a lot of people identify her behavior as "toxic", and some people even state that the relationship must have been toxic on both sides (often leaning heavily on the cake in I Love You as a metaphor), but I don't often see this stuff dived into deeper than either identifying Mahiru's bad behaviors or just saying they're both "toxic" without really talking about... why. Or what that means. Or how her boyfriend is toxic. I don't even really like the word toxic in this case because I feel like it's just being used without really delving into why or how in any real way, it's net zero information other than telling us it's bad. I want to step aside from the perpetrator-victim dynamic that MILGRAM puts things in the framework of. My key thesis is this: Their relationship is hurting them both in different ways. Both of their desires/needs are incompatible and going unmet. Neither of them are bad or wrong for wanting what they want, although Mahiru does display several behaviors that, while understandable, are ultimately harmful and unhealthy.

Let's look at the cake metaphor again. I see a lot of people say that the cake represents toxicity/bad behavior/unhealthiness in the relationship and that it's clearly both-sided because they're feeding it to each other. I don't... think this is a wrong interpretation, per se, but I think it misses an aspect that's kind of key to me?

In my opinion, the cake also majorly represents attention/love. Notice how the pieces Mahiru's boyfriend is feeding her are smaller than what she's feeding him?

When Mahiru is being fed the cake we never see it portrayed as anything but cake. She looks happy. She thrives off this attention. When her boyfriend is being fed the (larger piece of) cake... he sees it as a dead rat. We only see the rat transition when it's Mahiru feeding the cake, because he's the only one who is being smothered by the love/affection. She feeds her boyfriend more cake because that's what she thinks will make him happy- because love and attention are the things that make her happy. Because that's what she wants him to do. To put it another way: she's smothering him while he's not giving her enough.

Mahiru is clingy and overly-involved, this is no secret. She needs attention, thrives off it, and struggles with being alone or denied it. She wants to commit to each other and be married quickly after entering a relationship and believes the ultimate form of love is always being together.

I don't think she's getting what she wants from her boyfriend. Part of what I believe is going on here is that Mahiru convinces herself she's happy/convinces herself that she should be self-sacrificing for the relationship, then builds up resentment and gets upset when what she expects in return is still unmet, doing things like the scene in TIHTBILWY when she calls him in the middle of the night or even the subtler implications such as when, in the text from the MV, she mentions she "practically begged him" to come along to see a movie with her. This is where I think the fights she mentions come from, although she was "happy to get hurt." She pretends to be OK with how things are, but she doesn't really want to be and it spills out and she ends up being overly demanding. Mahiru wants more from him, and he can't give it to her.

Not to say Mahiru's high standards are easy to meet by any means, or that they're completely realistic- she clearly has a very idealized idea of how love and relationships should be- but if what you want/need out of a relationship isn't being met, I feel like it's not entirely the wrong response to be upset about that, you know? She clearly feels hurt by not receiving the same amount of love and attention she's putting in, though it's downplayed in both MVs either to idealize the relationship or to focus on her guilt. Where Mahiru's problem behavior comes in, in my opinion, isn't so much this desire for more attention from her partner, it's that she's then ignoring his equally valid needs in favor of her own.

From what we see of Mahiru's flaws, which are clearly causing conflict and upsetting him, if I had to guess as to his behavior I'd assume he's probably the type of person who needs more space in a relationship which he evidently isn't getting. Mahiru's enthusiasm and passion for him that he once loved becomes overbearing and cuts into his ability to spend some much-needed time alone, he tries to pull away further to assert himself, Mahiru tries even harder to pull him closer because she wants him closer and makes it worse... until it ends up all going irreversibly wrong.

I think part of Mahiru's character is built on contradictory traits that are both true at the same time. She's very selfless and believes in sacrificing and doing things for her partner, having a tendency to copy other people and do what she thinks she should be doing (note the text in TIHTBILWY where she mentions impulsively buying the same bread as him or saying her hobby is running, even though these things aren't true to herself, or interrogation answer where she says she'd try smoking if her partner did). She wants to fulfil the service-oriented role of being a traditional wife and even mentions having trained for it. She offers immediately for Es to come to her for advice in the first voice drama, and selflessly states she doesn't resent either their or Kotoko's judgement in the second voice drama.

And yet she ignores their discomfort with the topic of romance in the same conversation where she offers herself as a support to them, continuing to poke and prod about how surely they'll like someone someday. She disregards her boyfriend's feelings when they contradict with her own. She puts her own self-interests above others' discomfort. She's just as selfish as she is selfless.

But I don't think Mahiru meant to hurt anyone, nor do I think she fully comprehended the severity of her behaviors in her relationship at first. Do I think she understands now? Do I think she feels bad about it? Partially, but I also understand where people are coming from when they assume she doesn't at all, even though I disagree with that assessment of things. Part of this issue is that it seems to me that Mahiru (at least in some instances) thinks of her problem behaviors which hurt her boyfriend and loving someone/being in a relationship at all as inseparable and the same thing.

Mahiru as portrayed in the I Love You MV feels bad about hurting her boyfriend. She acknowledges she's hurt him and that she was doing it wrong in the lyrics of the MV. She states in her voice dramas that she never wanted to kill or hurt anyone. The imagery even shows her being the one at fault for his death in the opening scene.

But this is where the contradictions come back in. At the same time, she struggles with believing she's done something wrong because the idea of finding love is her life's purpose. Her reason for living. She says she doesn't think she's done anything wrong in the voice drama, but I don't think that's fully true, given the lyrics above as well as the imagery throughout I Love You- she literally portrays herself holding his noose, that's not the sort of imagery something canonically stated to be taken from the prisoners' minds would conjure up if there wasn't any guilt or feeling of responsibility for his death there.

One way to resolve this is the idea that Mahiru just says she believes she's done nothing wrong because she wants to believe it. Because she doesn't know how to love the right way without falling into her problem behaviors, and she feels she can't live without love. Because she knows she's done something wrong, and that she smothered and hurt him, but she doesn't know what else love is and she desperately wants to love and be loved.

This got long and I don't really have a good conclusion to it, I just wanted to talk a bit about my interpretation. Obviously nobody has to see this the way I do and you're welcome to disagree, I just thought it'd be worth writing something up about my perception of her relationship and how I think she feels about her actions.

Thank you if you've read this far!

[pressplay-if]

I was wondering if more things would be customizable in the future, for example body type. Btw I love your game. I rarely like every character, but in Press Play everyone captured my interest. Especially Angel, im a sucker for that type of characters haha ❤️

<<<3

Thank you so much nonnie! I love to see an Angel fan. Lots of stuff about body things in answer to your ask below this cut:

As for your question, this is sth I've been putting off. In the beginning, I didn't add it bc I figured "oh, it won't come up anyways" but now that I'm realizing that perception body types and especially disordered eating is a big theme in Zima's storyline, I fear that it actually would... in a negative way.

Like, I'm thinking of the toxicity an MC with a bigger body type would be on the receiving end of. I don't know if I'm in the right mind to write that, BUT at the same time, I don't want to ignore that it's a real life issue?? Thinking of Adele and how a lot of the time, hateful audiences made it about her weight and not her music. Think she even said sth about that in an interview herself a couple times.

Now, of course there's people who'll give artists hate for anything, thin folks aren't exempt from that either, so don't think I forgot about that! Like how people will bash really skinny folks for promoting unhealthy images when they can't really help how they look and don't intend to set an example for anyone. So that could happen to MC too. (It already will happen to Stevie at some point, and I think I'm just more okay with writing it being targeted at an NPC than first person.)

Both ends are just really really sad to me, and I realize MC getting harassed by haters will happen either way in the story, I'm just still figuring out to which extent I'm ok with that. Leaving body types for the MC ambiguous is a big cop-out, I know, but I just haven't decided how to ultimately deal with that yet.

So to summarize this rambling stream of consciousness; I'm really indecisive.

[kcokaine]

I just want to say that your Au's and art is so thought provoking and intriguing beyond "Ooh, gay porn!" Seeing someone put so much thought and consideration into their characters as well as the characterization and dynamics within such a niche rarepair is a fresh of breath air among so many others who's manga literacy is infantile. I don't know how you think of this stuff or what your creative writing/drawing process is, but it's honestly so great.

You've picked my brain in such a good way and inspired me to get back into art and analyze the manga I consume more. I hope with more time and practice I too, can put fictional characters through gay, well thought out, trauma.

Thank you for being peak :)

P.s. When you said that Sukuna was incapable of love, did you mean that he couldn't feel or give love at all in any capacity, or did you mean that he's incapable of loving in the same way and capacity that we and other characters do? The way I've always interpreted his character is that the "love" he feels is respect and interest, particularly when a person is strong or entertaining enough to either challenge him or pique his curiosity. I'm a little delusional when it comes to Sukuna so I'd love to hear a second opinion on this topic if you don't mind!

Hello thank you very much. I appreciate your positive criticism of my work ❤️ makes my day everytime i see people enjoy my stuff to such degree. Thats the motivation after all.

When it comes to sukuna’s love. Its the latter. He can’t feel love like any other human can cuz he is so far gone but i believe every human being (sukuna being a human being no mattter how people precieve him or he precieves himself) craves love and contact with people, no human can exist alone not even Sukuna. He is simply so broken he thinks he doesnt need anyone but if you notice, he seeks interaction through battling people, through battling people equal to him especially, thats where he gets the most passionate. Therefore thats his way of craving contact, craving love. His affection is possesive and animalistic, carnal love. Unhealthy obsession kind of love, that only damages the other person but Sukuna is still selfish, he only cares about himself, even if love subconsciously makes you care about the other. There sukuna is no exception either. He is subconsciously compassionate to Gojo many times, thats where i find it beautiful cause you know its the truest kind of feeling from him. Sukuna would never lie about his feelings he is always 100% honest about everything but he is still very complicated with how he expresses it, thats the toxicity in it. He is hard to read

[dukecollinsbf]

more darlin hcs..... evil laugh

tw for mention of death and drugs

im gonna give u guys the family names cus itll get confusing w the siblings i think.

their oldest brother is called lucien, then its their sister camilla, then julius (darlin) then their little brother kenji (kenny) and then the youngest, aisha.

IM SORRY IF ITS CONFUSING!!!!

their dad is called ronan and their mom is called kalliyan

ronan was a vet! he lost his leg in an explosion and wears a prosthetic which julius helped him take off and put it on. he also would take his dad to the store in his wheelchair and stuff

julius used to also get into arguments w racist strangers who would insult his parents when they didn't even know enough english to understand what was going on.

despite his parents' abuse and neglect, julius loved them he saught out their approval a lot. he wanted to make them proud and happy even if it seemed impossible. he hated himself for it and tried to stop, but he always felt ashamed and guilty when his parents would be disappointed in him. he wished he didn't care like lucien and camilla.

he used to have a little brother who was aisha's twin, but he passed away from cancer when he and aisha were very young, around 4 years old. julius was 14 and he didn't get a chance to properly until he was nearing his adult years because of how much responsibilities he had

he blamed himself for a long time. he did everything he could to give his younger siblings a good life despite their parents and he felt very useless, like he should have been able to stop it even though he was literally unable to. he cried for hours when the family dog accidentally ruined one of his little brother's stuffed animals

one of his first tattoos was one for his little brother

julius was sent to an empowered tti (troubled teen industry)

he tries to come off as very cold and aloof, but he feels things deep

his dad pushed toxic masculinity onto him and his brothers, so he was convinced he was unable to cry until being with sam

rather than letting himself feel sadness, he often let it turn into anger. it was something he was more familiar with, something that felt more manly, which is why he was so reckless

he also threw himself into dangerous situations because he cared very little for himself. he felt like he deserved the consequences because he hurts people with his anger. it was like revenge to himself for hurting people he cares about

he had unhealthy coping mechanisms, often turning to drugs whenever things became too much. he used drugs more while dating quinn. (he went to rehab in washington)

julius never really got much sleep. as a teenager, he'd either be dealing with his parents during the night or working night shifts. when it'd be neither, he'd be woken by kenji because he often got night terrors. after breaking up with quinn, he slept even less. he felt extremely guilty for his unempowered friend, trevor, being attacked by quinn. he'd have nightmares and sleepless nights filled with guilt and regret. the first time he slept a full proper night was in the cuddles and confessions audio with sam.

the first time he was healed by marie, she was so gentle and talked to him softly, like a mother should, and it was something he had been longing for from his mother for so long that he cried when he got home

ON A MORE LIGHTER NOTE...

julius used to have a crush on milo. they like pretty boys with accents, its a given

julius had more muscle than quinn. quinn was just a vampire, so he was stronger

idk if this belongs in the angst section but he used to wear one of his dad's vet hats a lot. it's still in his closet somewhere

he and his siblings would have arguments over stupid shit then forgive each other in 5 seconds. like yelling at each other than a minute later julius is like hey do you wanna go to this restaurant with me lol...

when sam zipped away from him in their very first audio, julius was sooo giddy cus he loved sam's accent

HE LOVES LIZARDS!!!! he used to go around and look for them. one of his first times at david's house as a teen there was a tiny lizard on the wall nd he just picked it up and was just like "...lizard."

hes just an awkward little loser i lvoe him.

FNAF PHASE! CREEPYPASTA PHASE! NIGHTCORE PHASE!

he has a shirt that says "blowjobs are real jobs" and he wears it unironically

one of his first roommates ever had a whole room for her big ass iguana. to this day, julius is bitter that he never got to pet it

he need glasses but he never wears them outside. he's walked past the pack and the mates multiple times without even knowing, especially cause he goes into his own little world when he walks

one time he walked past lovely with his headphones on and he couldn't tell it was them. all he thought was "dude why is this stranger staring me down??"

he calls sam his bitch sometimes cause he thinks its so funny. sam stares at him with a deadpan expression

he has a metal plate in his eye socket that he needed to get when he was a baby. he sticks magnets to his face when he's bored but it gives him really bad headaches in the cold

loves side-eyeing

will talk about his trauma casually.

"that actually reminds me of the time my mom tried to shoot my dad! haha, oh that was so crazy. the cops came. :)"

also, leather jacket luvr

he has a motorcycle

tongue piercing (sam loves it)

[leafsheep]

I know almost every post I’ve made is about DC but I do have other interests so bear with me here’s a random Helluva Boss rant.

I hate how some people in this fandom cannot understand that Blitz and Stolas are SUPPOSED to be toxic.

Like omg someone says they ship those two and it’s an immediate reaction of “how dare you” “they’re so toxic I hate that ship” like omg shut UP.

And here’s the thing, you don’t have to like them, in fact, I think it’s concerning if you look at their in canon dynamics at this current point and think they’re a good ship, but THATS THE POINT. THATS THE WHOLE POINT! Blitz and Stolas are supposed to be unhealthy, they are supposed to not understand each other and hurt each other.

The people that complain about Blitz and Stolas all the time are so annoying to me because like, WE KNOW they’re toxic, we GET IT. Not a single well adjusted person ever looks at a relationship that started on the basis of GIVING SOMEONE MEANS TO THEIR ENTIRE LIVELIHOOD IN EXCHANGE FOR SEX and thinks “Omg this is so cute!!!” THATS NOT CUTE. WE KNOW THATS NOT CUTE.

Stolas and Blitz are a toxic pair, the reason why people ship them is because we can all read between the lines and see that they will get better and they will heal, that’s how the entire show has set them up. People who ship them are shipping them with the thought in mind that they’re eventually going to be on the same page and not be in a relationship with a power imbalance and a billion misunderstandings going on at once.

I wanna say- I’m not saying you can’t criticize the ship, I literally am pointing out their flaws and acknowledging them right now, but like please stop mentioning how “they’re so toxic” every time someone says something about them.

Anyways you might get more Helluva stuff from me since new stuff is coming out now, so I guess there’s that. (Also I don’t usually complain about fandom stuff I just saw an influx of hate towards stolitz shippers recently bc of them being toxic and the new episode and it’s like, so annoying)