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hollowwrites · 1 year ago

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Ignorance is Bliss

Summary - Continuing my rewrite of things but this is totally made up. I think its unbelievable that we forgive Seb after Ignorant-gate so quickly but maybe that’s because I’m an Ominis girly. So this is my justification

This has made me so sad to do I don’t like when people don’t get on…I genuinely must be the softest Slytherin in the planet

Warnings - mentions of Crucio, Angst, our bois just being shouty at each other

Word Count - 2408

Sebastian had not slept in the dorms for weeks.

Though the peace and quiet at night was enjoyable for Ominis, the eerie sound of silence caused a sickening pit to bore into his stomach. It only grew the more nights that went by.

Since he had cast Crucio on Evelyn, he’d become somewhat manic. Missing classes, skipping meals, holing himself away in the Undercroft for hours at an end to the point where no one had seen him for a couple of days.

Ominis didn’t even know if he was sleeping.

It had gotten harder and harder to maintain an ‘eye’ on the mischievous Slytherin. Ominis needed to know where he was originally to be able to tail him and with him skipping lessons, not coming back to the dorms and Evelyn now not talking to him, Ominis’ only hope was hopefully catching him in the halls. Hear his voice, Smell his cologne…anything.

He was left with nothing.

Last he spoke to Evelyn, he could feel her animosity, despite him imploring her, he had no idea what had gone on between the two of them. She couldn’t help but feel hurt towards the two of them. After all, they were a package deal and no matter how close they had become, Ominis was Sebastian’s friend before hers.

That’s how it would always be.

“He’s your friend Ominis” She snapped accusatorially, poking a boney finger into his chest before turning on her heels and walking away from him.

“Evelyn, please. I am not blind to his faults. Tell me what he did” he strode after her, not needing his wand to track her down. The heavy stomp of her feet was enough to locate her weaving path through the oncoming students.

“He dragged me off somewhere dangerous, as usual, under the guise of helping me and then turned it all back on me.” She stopped and faced him again “Making it about himself and…and Anne” she didn’t mean to sound bitter. But a tiny part of her now resented Anne. From the one conversation they had, she seemed lovely but…sometimes she wanted help from Sebastian, without him guilting her into helping his sister.

Evelyn sighed in frustration before turning to leave. Ominis grabbed her arm, pulling her back to him a little, keeping a firm and solid grip on her elbow.

“Don’t touch me” Evelyn spat, shaking him off her violently “And you can tell Sebastian, he doesn’t have to worry about my Ignorance anymore.”

Now, Ominis waited the one place he knew Sebastian would return to.

The Undercroft.

He stood with his back pressed against the cold stone for a few hours before finally the ancient clunk of the Undercrofts cupboard rang down the hall and into the large cavernous room.

Moments later, the distinct heavy footsteps of Sebastian filled his ears. His familiar scent moved by him, though it was murky, like the cologne was wearing off and he hadn’t reapplied it or it lay dormant under the stagnant musk of his robes.

Ominis intended to confront his friend about his absense. Teachers had begun approaching The Young Gaunt with fear for his best friends mental state. But he had nothing for them.

However, as he pushed himself off the stone wall to approach Sebastian, he only had one question for him;

“You called her Ignorant?” Ominis’ authoritative tone suddenly making him known

“Merlin’s beard Ominis! You can’t just sneak up on people like that…” Sebastian jumped, and Ominis could hear his heart beat quicken. He recovered quickly and stood his ground "How did you know I was here?"

“Where else would you be?” Ominis’ tone was sharp and accusatory

"I just…need some time to sort through this Spellbook" Sebastian said coolly, his mind thinking back to the Scriptorium…

And Evelyns screams…

And how her attitude completely changed around him after that night.

Sebastian’s heart broke a little at the thought. He recognised the feeling from when he first witnessed Anne have an episode.

An episode brought on by a Goblin curse.

Goblins that Evelyn was perfectly happy to commune with.

"Alone. Is that against the rules?" Sebastian spat his anger returning once more

“No” Ominis said coolly “But what is against the rules, is insulting your friends who are trying their hardest to help you!”

"It seems only right that I'm allowed to speak my mind to someone who speaks it so often to me." Sebastian bristled, his eyes narrowing slightly in a way that would have made most people back down, but not Ominis.

“So it’s true? You called her Ignorant?” Ominis asked genuinely. He wanted it to be a lie. For Sebastian to say ‘Oh No it was a misunderstanding. I accepted Eves help and Anne is cured’ but Ominis had never been that optimistic and he no longer felt like he knew Sebastian. His oldest friend…and he stood before him, a stranger

"She is ignorant," Sebastian shot back. He was feeling the frustration that had been building up for weeks, months. His shoulders twitched as he stood his ground. "If she wasn't, she would have known approaching a Goblin for assistance was the last possible thing I would want. If she had even a shred of intelligence…" Even saying it out loud was cathartic.

“She was trying to help you!” Ominis snapped “She went out of her way to find you a contact that could help your sister and because it’s Goblin you refused? Pitiful”

"What do you know?" he spat back. "Nothing. You have no idea what I've had to deal with. My sister is dying and instead of helping me, she just sends me to some stranger she's known for a few months?"

“Don’t lie to me” Ominis rolled his eyes “It isn’t that she sent you to a stranger…it’s that she sent you a Goblin…”

"Yes!" He snapped. "Would you trust one of them? They cursed my sister!" He was almost shouting at this point. "I won't let a Goblin help me. She had no right to go behind my back lik-"

“Behind your back?” Ominis’ face twisted in disgust “You’re not the centre of the universe, Sebastian. She didn’t do all of that for you. She has her own life, her own situations that she’s dealing with and she thought she could help” Ominis’ wand flashed faster as it gave a more detailed description of his surroundings. Everything just felt hostile, the walls felt closer than usual, the stone pillar seemed to buckle and bend around him in this bubble of pain and hate.

"Her situations? How about my situation? How about my sister's situation?” He spat selfishly “I have a right to be angry. Anyone would, but because it's me, I'm not supposed to feel it, I'm just supposed to put on a brave face and suffer all my problems in silence, right?" Sebastian took a step closer to Ominis, his hurt and anger and pain washing over him in droves.

“No one is saying that…�� Ominis said confused. He felt his face twisting into a mask of cynicism and he had to fight against his natural instincts to not outwardly show his emotions. Sebastian was fragile right now…anything could set him off “…what I’m saying is she tried to help you and instead of politely declining because of your, frankly, idiot prejudices, you called her ignorant and made her question everything about your friendship.” Ominis thought back to the conversation he had with Evelyn and how angry she sounded. How broken she must have felt knowing one of the two people she was friends with here, now despised her.

A small part of him was angry with Sebastian for causing a rift between himself and Eve, but he pushed that deep down. That wasn’t a converstion to be had right now.

"Politely declining?" Sebastian snorted, his voice like acid. "How was I supposed to do that? 'Oh, I appreciate your help and I'm sure your filthy goblin friend is wonderful, but sorry I don’t really want to accept help from the people who did this to her. You understand, right?' Was that how you expected me to react?"

“Don’t be so dramatic, Sebastian” Ominis folded his arms across his chest, a clear sign he was tired of Sebastian excuses and jabs.

"Oh, sorry, I forgot. I'm supposed to suffer all this in silence because the alternative just makes people uncomfortable, right? The alternative makes everyone happy…but me." Sebastian took a step towards Ominis himself, his chest heaving at the thought of doing…nothing. His Uncle would be so pleased to finally have a neutered Sebastian, his sister would fade to nothing and he’d mill along to his classes doing just enough to stay at the school. What a marvellous existence. "Have any other sage advice?" he asked sarcastically

“Suffer in Silence?” Ominis laughed darkly “You have dragged both me and her through hell with you. You forced me to to tell you my family secrets, you cast Crucio on her, the pain she must have felt, I have gotten you out of countless detentions” Ominis paused “…that is not suffering in silence. We have banded around you and you are throwing it back in our faces” Ominis sighed “Truly I am sorry about what is happening with Anne…but don’t lose everyone around you too”

"You want to talk about hell? My life is hell. Ever since that night in Feldcroft, I've had nightmares every single night. I haven't had a good night's sleep in months. When I look in a mirror…all I see is her” Sebastian looked into Ominis's eyes, the pools of blue always had an indescribable way of showing emotion. "If it weren't for you, if it wasn't for…Evelyn, I'd have nothing. But that doesn't change the fact that I will do whatever it takes to save my sister and I refuse to give up, even if it means being hated by you"

“Hated? I would never hate you…” Ominis narrowed his eyes “What are you planning?”

"Nothing! Absolutely nothing! That's the entire problem, Ominis! I haven't done half of what I want do to save my sister! I'm playing this safe. I'm being nice! Polite! And what do you think that got me?" Sebastian began pacing as his anger grew.

“You’re delusional…safe? Nice? We were trapped inside Salazar Slytherins Scriptorium and still would be. You used an Unforgivable Curse to get us out” Ominis’ eyes were wide, was his friend truly so far gone? “Evelyn was in pain for days, Sebastian. We were not safe…it was not nice”

"Don't lecture me, Ominis!” Sebastian looked down, Evelyns screams ringing in his head. As he closed his eyes, the incantations for other curses and Unforgivables floated towards the forefront of his mind

“I could do much worse” he whispered darkly “I would happily throw everything away if it means saving Anne." Sebastian stopped pacing directly in front of Ominis. "Why is that so hard for you to understand?"

“Sebastian, you’re not listening to me.” Ominis ran his hand through his hair “I love Anne…I understand I really do but pushing Evelyn away will not help Anne. Listen to her, she is a capable witch…and she is trying so hard…for you”

"She's trying to help me because it benefits her too, let's not fool ourselves" Sebastian said with a bitter laugh. He paused "You've met her, what…six months ago?" Sebastian narrowed his eyes. "Sure, she's a 'capable witch' but you can't possibly know who she really is. You can't make that call for me."

“Explain to me, Sebastian, how helping you has benefited her” Ominis’ anger flared again. How dare he speak of her like that.

"Oh she hasn’t told you? Maybe you’re not as close as you thought” Sebastian sneered as though he was getting some sort of sick thrill out of Evelyn being closer with him. “She has all these grand adventures…and when she needs help, she asks me” Sebastian looks down muttering “Coming here in her fifth year, no family, no friends, with all of those eyes on her and special attention…she thinks she’s important-“

“She is important” Ominis snapped turning to walk away and then stopped “…and your friendship is not the only one she has!! You two are not the only ones without family and you are not the only one who can provide her with support!”

"Oh," he muttered and smirked. Ominis could feel his sudden shift into arrogance from a mile away "So that's what this is about... You're in love with her."

“Oh for Merlin’s sake…” Ominis began pacing “You are impossible lately”

"What? It's true, isn't it?" Ominis felt Sebastian circling him “She had a hold on you from the get go. Remember how you go so upset because you weren’t the one to show her the Undercroft? Remember how you snapped at me in Charms for asking her to Hogsmeade?”

“You’re ridiculous” Ominis stated coldly

"Am I?" Sebastian smiled sinisterly "You spend all day together. You' listen to every word of what she says. You even seem to be taking her on these outings to the village without me. What kind of impression do you think one might draw from all that?"

“That she is the only friend I have left since you’ve left me!” Ominis’ anger and betrayal all came flooding out. If he hadn’t have spent years emotionally blocking himself off from everyone, he may have cried

Sebastian was taken aback.

He’d done stupid things but Ominis had never spoken to him like that

"What- since I've done what now?"

“All you do is read, and research, and hole yourself away. I’m losing you…I miss you” Ominis’ stoic face cracked and the slightest bit of emotion bled through “It feels like I’ve lost Anne and You…and all I have left is her…”

There was a pause. Sebastian looked like he didn't know what to say. A look of quiet realisation slowly crossed his face.

"I have neglected you" he stated. "It's just... difficult."

“I understand…” Ominis made no movements toward Sebastian, no further arguements. He was tired.

“I will apologise to Evelyn…” Sebastian muttered "but I just don't think she'll forgive me." He looked up at Ominis. "She…thinks I’m manipulative” he exhaled a sharp laugh through his nose “…I was- am. If I came back with an apology, won’t she just think I’m playing nice for my own selfish reasons?"

“I’ll talk to her”

Masterlist

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xbadgerbearx · 3 years ago

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your people will have our help

word count: 2.1k

Can’t Sleep: [1] … [3]

Of course you had to jump out of the aircraft into the cold water. What a perfect way to start the mission. Your team swam for a bit before wading through the shore as you approached the beach.

"Congratulations, Bloodsport."

"How'd you do it, Waller? There's no soldiers out here on patrol at all."

The beach was completely empty. There were no disturbances and more importantly, no enemies anywhere to be found. It was... peaceful.

"Let's just say they were distracted."

You only walked on the sand a couple feet before a large explosion erupted.

"Control, we have a disturbance south of here," Bloodsport reported after you jumped in surprise.

"It's just a diversion, Bloodsport."

Bloodsport seemed to weigh his options before speaking, "All right, we cut through the jungle to get to Valle Del Mar."

"Don't they have blockades at the city limits?" Peacemaker interjected.

"That's the word."

"How we getting in? Especially with Charlie the Tuna here," Peacemaker said while looking back at King Shark.

"How the hell am I supposed to know?"

"You're the leader. You're supposed to be decisive."

"And I've decided you should eat a big bag of dicks, how's that?"

"You're being facetious, but if this whole beach was completely covered in dicks and somebody said I had to eat every dick until the beach was clean for liberty, I would say no problemo."

"Why would someone put penises all over the beach?" Ratcatcher II asked.

"Who knows why madmen do what they do."

"Chris, this is the second time you've made a comment like this today. Is there something you want to tell us?" You joked.

"Well, you know what I think?" Bloodsport started. "I think liberty is just your excuse to do whatever you want. Whether that's to eat a beach full of dicks or killin' folk."

"Oh, yeah? At least I don't kill men for money like you."

"Oh, here we go," Bloodsport sighed as he turned to face Peacemaker.

"There's something wrong with your skin," Ratcatcher II called out as she pointed to Polka Dot Man. You turned to see his face covered in bulging colorful... polka dots.

"It's just a rash."

"Oh, my- Abner, are you okay? You don't look so good," you said worriedly as you reached your hand out to touch him. You were interrupted by another loud explosion off in the distance.

"Never mind that, we need to continue forward."

You made it quite the distance before Bloodsport dropped his bag onto the ground. The entire time walking you watched Abner with both curiosity and worry.

"Alright, we'll camp here, and tomorrow we'll go straight through the city to get to La Gatita Amable by nightfall."

Everyone was laying out their sleeping equipment, in this case sleeping bags, as you figured out where you should lay yours.

"Why don't you lay over here, (L/n)? I could keep you warm," Chris offered with a laugh.

"Fuck no," you replied with the same humorous energy. "I'd rather you not roll over on me like you did last time."

"Last time?" Abner piped up timidly.

"It's nothing like that," you assured while rolling your eyes. "Me, Chris, and some of our other teammates at the time had to huddle up for warmth after Waller sent us on a mission somewhere in Siberia."

"Oh," Abner said, kind of relieved.

"I'll just put mine here," you placed your bag next to Abner's and DuBois. "It's near the fire."

You changed into your sleep clothes. Well, to be honest you just took off your shirt and slept in your tank top, but it was close enough. It wasn't long before you drifted off, however, you awoke some time later to some shuffling sounds and a quiet groan. Peeking under your lashes, you find yourself facing toward DuBois who was resting on his elbow, alert. You quietly sat up and turned to see what DuBois was looking at. A colorful light show was dancing on the leaves and tall grass. Almost as quickly as it happened, Abner appeared. He looked a little out of it, but quickly dawned a look of shock as he was caught doing... what exactly?

You got up to make sure your favorite awkward man was doing okay before you were cut off by a loud bang! Instinctively, you disappeared. Literally. DuBois kept shooting Nanaue until he was backed up against a tree.

"How deep of a sleeper are you?" DuBois asked Cleo, to which she responded sleepily, "I was having the most wonderful dream."

"If it was you about to be eaten by King Shark, then you're psychic," Chris said.

"I don't believe he would do that. He has very kind eyes."

Sebastian was saying what you could only guess was that Nanaue was, in fact, going to eat her.

"Hungry," Nanaue whined.

"You bastard!"

Rats from every direction emerged from the darkness as Cleo held up her glowing device. DuBois was looking rather uncomfortable.

"All right, calm down with the rats!" he yelled.

"What?"

"I have a thing with rats."

"You have a thing with rats?"

"Yes."

"And you're on a team with someone who controls them?" your disembodied voice asked.

He whipped around trying to find you before yelling, "What the fuck?"

As if suddenly remembering that you cannot be seen, you revealed yourself behind Abner whom you were using as a shield. As cute as he thought it was that you were using him as protection, it did startle him that you just appeared randomly behind him.

"Partnering up with someone with rats is not something I asked for!"

Peacemaker started laughing.

"What are you laughing at me for, man? Why the fuck are you in your underwear?"

You looked over and sure enough, Chris was in nothing but his underwear.

"Woah!" you yelled while burying your face into Abner's back. "Chris, put on some pants for fucks sake!"

"Tighty-whities? Really?"

"Now that's just racist."

"No, it's not racist! They're tighty-whities!"

"You didn't tell me you had a fear of rats, DuBois," Waller said over the comms.

"I'm an assassin! Why would I share my liabilities?" This was promptly followed by an uncharacteristicly girly scream.

"Aww, he's offering you a pretty leaf to show you he means no harm," Cleo cooed.

"Why the fuck would I want a leaf?"

DuBois was getting increasingly more freaked out while Chris started laughing again.

"Just get the rats out of here!"

Cleo turned off her device and all the rats scurried back into the jungle.

Peacemaker turned to DuBois and asked, "Hey, we gonna kill Megalodouche now, or what?"

"Nanaue's the strongest member of your team. You need him to get into Jotunheim."

"Yeah, well we can't function as a team if we gotta watch our back from one of our own eatin' our bollocks," Bloodsport replied.

"Nanaue," Cleo started as she kneeled down to his height. "Would you eat your friends?"

"I no friends."

"You have no friends? Well, if you did, would you eat them?"

Chris answered with a "yes" before he was shot a look from Ratcatcher II.

"No?"

"Then can we be your friends?"

Chris scoffed, "Come on, he's obviously lying."

"If I die 'cause I gambled on love, it will be a worthy death."

DuBois shook his head, "You are a little idiot."

So much for a full rest. It was nearly morning by the time the shark incident was resolved, so you decided to just pack up and dress yourself.

"Task Force X, you have an additional mission directive. We've located Colonel Rick Flag. He's been taken by the enemy."

"Rick Flag?" DuBois asked while your team made your way through the jungle.

"I know, you both served on special forces in Qurac that took down Avral Kaddam. Flag was the one who initially recommended you."

"You had other operatives in Corto Maltese and didn't tell us?"

"There was no tactical advantage, now there is. I've uploaded the location on your MTS. Terminate his captors with extreme prejudice. Kill anyone you see. These are dangerous people. Recover Flag before moving on to the city."

You eventually made it to a decent sized camp before DuBois MTS started beeping.

"That's where they're holding Flag."

"Nothing like a bloodbath to start the day."

"I thought they called you Peacemaker," Ratcatcher II questioned.

"I cherish peace with all my heart. I don't care how many men, women, and children I need to kill to get it."

Ratcatcher II turned to Polka Dot Man before whispering, "I thought you were the crazy one," which was swiftly answered by you lightly shoving her shoulder.

"I am."

"All right," Bloodsport said, getting everyone's attention. "Let's get it."

You and Nanaue crept behind a man who gave his cup to his buddy.

"Gracias," you heard the man say. Soon after, King Shark picked the man up and ate him as he started screaming. He dropped what looked to be a communication device. Nanaue smacked his mouth as the comms device went off.

"Cualquier cosa?"

As your nearby teammates looked in somewhat fear as to what to do, you picked up the dead soldier's comms and said "Nada, Señora" while perfectly mimicking his voice. Your team carried on.

You hastily turned yourself invisible as you scouted for Rick Flag. It took a couple of minutes but you managed to find the only white guy there. You assumed he was Rick since he was injured, but were they... laughing?

"Bloodsport," you whispered into your comms. "I found Rick Flag. He was laughing?" You sounded unsure.

"Most likely drugged," Peacemaker said. "Where's he located?"

"Northmost tent, past the watchtower." Right after you said that you saw a bunch of colorful polka dots disintegrate the watchtower.

"On our way."

You could hear some of your team's conversation as they approached your location. You made yourself visible again.

"I'm sorry it's so... flamboyant."

"It looks cool," you heard Cleo say.

"I don't like to kill people, but if I pretend it's my mom, it's easy."

"TMI, mate," said DuBois.

More laughter could be heard inside the tent as Bloodsport ripped open the tent curtain. An uncomfortable silence settled.

"DuBois?"

"Hey, Flag."

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Bloodsport looked around confused. "Waller told us that you were... uh... are you drinking tea?"

Flag gestured to his female companion sitting across the table from him, "This is Sol Soria, she's the leader of the freedom fighters, the resistance trying to take down the current government. They-they saved my life."

"Oh. Wow."

Everyone put down their weapons.

"Why did my people not alert me of your arrival?"

You awkwardly hide yourself behind Abner again.

"We didn't see any people," Bloodsport swiftly lied.

"Yeah, I didn't see anybody on the way..." Peacemaker continued.

"There's no one out there."

"They were gone when we got here."

"I turned them into my mother in my head and killed them."

Everyone turned to look at Polka Dot Man. You just sighed and smacked his shoulder. To make matters worse, King Shark hacked up... was that a finger with a wedding ring? Sebastian squeaked out an audible "Uh oh."

Soria promptly lunged off the table and made her way outside. You and your team awkwardly stood amongst the destruction you caused while Flag and Soria looked in pain.

"Typical Americans. Just run in, guns blazing."

"I know, this is messed up. These guys, they're..."

Rick looked behind him to see Peacemaker and Bloodsport getting into a stupid cat fight, while Ratcatcher II was rubbing her face ashamed, and you and Polka Dot Man were looking off into the jungle having your own conversation and not even paying attention.

"They're fucking idiots, but right now our objectives aligh with yours. If Jotunheim contains the technology our intelligence says it does, then it could be used on the people of Corto Maltese as well as Americans. That's why we need your help to get into the city so we can stop 'em."

Soria just stared past Flag and asked, "Is that rat waving at me?"

Sure enough, Rick turned back around to see Sebastian waving at them. Cleo was messing with her hands, Chris and DuBois were looking around while tapping their feet, and you were admiring Abner's polka dots on his costume as he was awkwardly trying to accept your compliments.

"It appears it is."

"Why?"

"I'm gonna guess because it's friendly."

Soria thought for a moment, weighing her options, before speaking again.

"Luna and Suarez murdered my entire family. I'd make a deal with the devil to stop them." As if it physically pained her to say, she continued. "Your people will have our help getting to Vall Del Mar to apprehend this Gaius Grieves."

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cinnamonest · 3 years ago

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I've discussed slut Lumine and Consequences™ before and I've somewhat discussed slut Mona briefly before, and the imperative of Kokomi being nonconned but... Slut!Kokomi though. Let me tell you.

Her family name isn't enough to earn her that high ranking spot, maybe she could have been a high rank, but to be in her exact position she needed a bit more than that. And, well, it certainly... Wasn't her ah... Combat capabilities (or lack thereof) that people chose her for. No, no, Kokomi got to her position the classic way -- sucking and riding her way to the top.

Kokomi has a body count rivaling the most prolific of serial killers. Kokomi literally does not know how many guys she's fucked before, she lost count after a hundred or so. She has, at some point, slept with literally every man in the resistance, at least twice.

The older, more important dudes... eh, she can get what she wants, a lot of them will agree to anything when they're in that post-orgasm state, all zoned out and tired. But she doesn't like dealing with them too much, they're a little more clever, they know what she's doing, they see through her with ease. She can't have that. No, she much prefers using her tactics and strategies (you know, the ones for guys, not the ones for war) on the young, subordinate boys that make up the bulk of the movement.

A lot of the young boys that come into the resistance movement idolize her. So when she gives them the slightest bit of attention, they do anything she wants. They're too naive to realize that they're just one out of twenty or so current flings (all of them for practical goals, none out of actually liking them) she has going at any given time. She comes up to them with that sweet face and voice and they can barely even hear what she's saying, their horny teen boy brains are consumed with "!!!!" because!!! Her Excellency is talking! To him! Directly! She's looking at him!!!

They don't even stop to consider how dangerous the favor she's asking for is, not when she smiles and covers her mouth with her sleeve in that cute little gesture. No, they do it without a thought, bodies on autopilot in an adrenaline and testosterone high, weak in the knees and stumbling around in a spaced out haze as they replay the part where she said she'd have a reward for them and gave a little wink, over and over in their head.

They're still sputtering out love and praise and worship while she finally pulls them into her room and lays back, loops her legs around their waist while they fuck her, cups their sweet face and murmurs that they're so cute and sweet. What a handsome boy, she says, and pulls off that little girly giggle, the one she's practiced to perfection by now, the one that makes boys shiver when they hear it. It has the intended effect -- their soul practically leaves their body and they cum within seconds. Which is what she wants -- the sooner she gets this part over with the better, ugh... But that sentiment would never, ever show even in the slightest on her face or in her voice.

And they're so naive, they believe excuses. Well, she stopped coming to them so much because she's busy with her role. She'll come back to pay attention to him again eventually. And she truly will -- she kinda... Rotates. She only has so much time and pussy to go around, so she has to balance which boys get it this week to keep them in the palm of her hand where she likes them.

Those older dudes she originally wormed her way above, now don't dare challenge her. She has more or less an army of white knights ready to defend her viciously should she just shrink back, quiver her lip and sniffle a bit -- that's all it takes to get them to come rushing to her defense. She's untouchable. When she makes mistakes, her strategies result in failure, again, they rush to her defense. Even the best leaders make mistakes, right? It's not her fault.

The thing about her though is she goes to great effort to keep up the ~pure~ appeal. I mean, look at her. That cutesy demeanor and high voice. She goes to great lengths to present as a sweetheart, pure type. She doesn't outright lie, she just... Implies some non-truths. Says things like "oh, is this how you do it...?" as she pumps cocks and rides, acting as if it's something foreign to her and not a practiced specialty. Puts on wide shocked eyes and makes surprised little noises as if this is the first cock she's been fucked by in her life, and not the seventh one in the past 5 hours. Says "don't tell anyone about us..." and acts as if the reason is she doesn't want everyone to know she has a boy she fucks because it would cause a scandal if she was sleeping with someone... and not that the real reason is she doesn't want them finding out she's doing it for *all* of them.

When Kokomi steps away from the crowd or soldiers or guests and gets behind closed doors, her voice drops like 2 decibels, her face falls to a resting bitch face or a scowl. It's all an act, the cutesy princess appeal. It's a lot of effort, keeping it up all the time. She hides behind the door and pretends she's not there when some of the more desperate, oblivious boys come searching for her, calling out to her because they want more. She's mastered the art of making sure no one knows where she is, so she can get a moment of peace and quiet.

She needs to go to these lengths. She knows that the thread she clings to is a fragile one. That if they started actually using their brains, they might start thinking about how tiny and weak she is, how the only thing keeping her in power above them, the only thing allowing her to be where she is, is them themselves. They might get ideas. She can't have that. And gods forbid they find out the truth, and get mad, or turn on each other... Or gang up on her. The thought makes her shiver.

It would be such a shame if one of said extra-devoted worshippers happened to follow her... She knows some of them get a little creepy, so she always looks over her shoulder, but sometimes feels like there's... Eyes on her. She blows it off as paranoia. She's just a little paranoid because, well, it *would* be rather bad if someone were to follow her around and find out about her... Habits. But she reasons that none of them are quite that devoted.... Right...?

When her worst nightmare comes true and they do gang up on her, she doesn't do the humble thing, she doesn't bow her head and accept the consequences, no. She stammers and makes excuses, keeps up the sweet little act, tells them I'm sure there's a misunderstanding, let's just all calm down and talk together, okay? And puts on her sweet smile... But it's not working. They don't look happy. Her voice wavers and she stutters, she takes a few steps back before her back hits the wall. And she decides to bolt... but when she looks to her left and her right, she realizes she's already surrounded on all sides, and she's left to just slowly shrink back, quivering and her smile twitching, nervously questioning ah, you guys....? before she finally gets grabbed by the wrist and dragged away, squealing and pleading, but no amount of begging is going to help now.

#scheduled post #yan.txt #.ship

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thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch · 4 years ago

Text

all three heartbeats

bakugou katsuki / f.reader

genre: married au (husband/wife), angst, hurt/comfort?, fluff, katsuki being a sap in lowercase

synposis: katsuki works full time as a prohero, but his time working to ensure the publics safety kept him busy- far too busy at times. he seeks comfort in you and his newborn little girl because the both of you keep him grounded and keep him fighting. he just wishes he could find a way to feel like a better father and husband.

w.count: 3.6k

a/n: hi hello i aint never written for bnha before and i thought i would never write anime fics again but here we are years after (it has been actual years, someone save me LOL). what better way than to start back out with blasty amiright?

It was one of those nights. Katsuki had just walked into his home at an ungodly hour and as he shut the door behind him, he leaned his back against it, He flicked all three locks of the front door shut and dropped his duffle bag at his feet before he tipped his head back to rest on the wood. He closed his eyes, sighing as he had the urge to just sink to the floor of the entryway landing and power nap.

Lord knows when his phone would buzz or ring again- his seemingly never ending work calling him to clock in again. It seemed like recently he never clocked out of his job- always working, patrolling, fighting petty villains trying to commit petty crimes and occasionally stopping more dangerous situations that kept him on edge and busy for hours to days on end.

The duffle he dropped at his feet was full with his gear and his hero suit that was in desperate need of washing and minor repairs- things that if he even muttered to himself about, you would happily offer your aid.

His closed eyes opened and his chin dropped back down, the back of his head coming off the door as he pushed the rest of his body off it as well. He heeled off his shoes and ruffled his hair as he finally walked into his home, leaving his duffle at the door as he made his way to the bathroom.

In all honesty, Katsuki wanted to go immediately to the room he shared with you where he knew you were asleep. He desperately needed a shower though, and he wasn’t planning on crawling into bed to hold you smelling like sweat, smoke and hero work.

You told him before you didn’t mind his post-work scent, in fact you told him it was charming in it’s own way since it was proof that Pro Hero: Dynamight worked harder than anyone else to one day be the No.1 Hero he’d been dreaming of his entire life.

Katsuki never told you, but he’d think about that almost everyday and it always made him smile when he did.

The shower he took was brisk and quick because all he wanted to do was go to bed. He couldn’t remember the last time he wasn’t just taking power naps on the couch at the agency. He couldn’t remember the last time he got to go to sleep in his own bed. Katsuki couldn’t remember the last time he got to hold you and it was starting to really piss him off.

Since graduating UA, getting engaged, married and then having a child with you, is tempter had considerably settled. He wasn’t entirely tame by any means, he was still a quick fire with insults, refused to use people’s names and stuck to stupid nicknames he thought of, cursed like a sailor and exploded when something mildly frustrating ticked him off- but he wasn’t like he was before.

When Katsuki can stand to be in the same room as Todoroki and Midoriya and not blow a giant fuse within the first sentence exchange, anyone would call that progress.

It was no shock that you were a large factor in his settled image- he had to start leaning self control and how to manager his attitude. The one extremely rocky point in your relationship with Katsuki back when you both were third years and you threatened to leave him if he didn’t shape up made him change. It wasn’t easy, but the arguments and fights you both had back then serve as a reminder of how far he had come according to you.

When Katsuki stepped out of the bathroom, he sighed- feeling refreshed- as he walked to the bedroom with a towel around his waist and another over his head drying his hair. It was way too late to be running the hairdryer, he’d risk waking up his child that he knew was otherwise dead to the world in their crib.

Twisting the doorknob as quietly as he could, Katsuki stepped into the bedroom and his eyes immediately looked to the bed, seeing your body’s shape beneath the comforter of the giant, Alaskan king bed you insisted you absolutely needed.

He felt his lips twitch as he left the door cracked to let in a small amount of light from the hall without stirring you. He went to his dresser and snatched a pair of shorts and a tank top and threw them on before he left the room as quietly as he had come in.

Katsuki went back to the front door and picked up his duffle bag, moving it into the living room and setting it on the couch to fiddle with it in the morning. He grabbed his phone from the side pouch of the duffle and began to shut the lights off and retreated back down the hall.

Before he went back to the room you slept in to join you, he stopped first in the room that was directly across the hall from his and yours and as quiet as a mouse crept in.

The nursey was painted in a pale yellow with sunflowers painted on the walls (curtesy of the bakusquad who insisted they were in charge of nursery decorations). Against the wall was a shelved cubby for toys and items for the baby and beside that was a changing table. Across the room was a tall dresser filled with way too many baby onesies and outfits for the future.

Katsuki walked to the white, wooden crib at the back of the room as the room itself was glowing in the soft, blue light of the baby’s nightlight. He leaned over the crib side and looked down to see his child sleeping just as quiet as can be.

He smiled as he reached down and stroked her chubby cheeks with the back of his knuckles. She was warm and soft.

“Hey there, Girlie,” he whispered, barely audible. Just watching his little girl sleep so soundly made his chest warm. God, he loved her so much. He frowned as he thought about how tough it might be on you while he’s away looking after her by yourself. She was barely a few months old and he hasn’t even had a weekend with you two yet.

Katsuki bit his lip to keep from letting the disappointment he felt in himself slip out in the form of growls.

He stuck around in the nursey for a few more minutes, just petting and admiring his child before he snuck back out and finally, finally went back to his room and as carefully as possible slid into bed.

You slept in the center of the bed that could easily fit four sleeping bodies, and Katsuki shuffled in further towards you before he was right behind you. He stared at your back in the dark room, his eyes adjusting more and more as the minutes pass.

Katsuki lightly grabbed your shoulder before he was pulling you to your back and then reaching over you to lay on your chest. On an ordinary day, Katsuki would be happy just holding you, but he felt especially worn out and drained. So, for once, even if you were sleeping, he just wanted to be held instead.

His cheek pushed into your chest, listening to your steady heartbeat beneath his ear. His right arm stretched over your shoulder to rest by your head and his left stayed beside his own body, his right leg hiked over your waist to be as close to you as he could get.

He felt his eyes roll before he shut them, finally feeling comfortable and warm and safe for the first time in days. He was finally breathing easy and all he wanted to do was stay here, in your arms, for the rest of his life.

As he started to finally doze off, his eyes fluttered open at the feeling of something carding through his hair.

He heard you take a deep breath before you were shifting just a bit to curl around him more and he felt your chin push against the top of his head.

“Go back to sleep,” he muttered, feeling your sleepy gaze on the top of his head. The small, sleepy chuckle that left your chest hummed against his cheek.

“Welcome home,” you whispered, sleep laced heavily in your voice as he felt your lips push against his scalp. “How was work?” You ask so innocently, but the question only made Katsuki burrow his face into your chest further. He doesn’t answer you, so you prompt him further. “Katsuki?”

“Don’t wanna talk about it,” he muttered, lifting his face just enough to speak clearly then pushing it back down again.

You say nothing at that and instead return to just carding your fingers through his semi-damp hair as you bask in each other and the silence of the house. You glance over to the alarm clock, seeing the time 4:03 am in orange, glowing numbers.

You feel like you have loads you want to talk about with Katsuki, things you want to share with him that had happened and things you want to have him tell you that’s happened, but it’s too quiet and too peaceful to bring them up. They’d have to wait.

“’m sorry,” he suddenly spoke from where he lay on your chest. Your fingers stop their mindless fiddling in his hair and he grips onto you tighter.

“What for?”

“Not being here.”

You felt your heart crack at the tone of his voice. He’s always been more open and mushy around you- as much as he denies it and he only get’s more open and more mushy when he was sleep deprived and just plain exhausted.

“I’m always working, always gone, always away doing fuck-knows-what out there and not here. I’m not home and that’s gotta really fucking suck.” He’s silent for a moment but you dare not speak. You feel like he’s been holding a lot in recently and if he’s choosing now to let it all out, you would silently encourage him to do that.

“I mean-” he scoffs at himself, “we’re married for fucks sake. We have a baby and I’m basically leaving you home alone day after day to raise her by yourself.”

“What?” Your shocked to think that’s how he feels. “Katsuki, that’s not-”

“It feels true,” he whimpers. “I feel like if I keep doing this, keep leaving you and Misuzu alone,” his voice cracks at the sound of his daughter’s name leaving his lips, “then you’ll both just disappear and I won’t even have the balls to go after you two.” You think you feel something wet seep through your sleep shirt, but you don’t say a thing about it. “I don’t feel like a husband and I don’t feel like a father. How can I feel like a hero if I can’t even spare the time to be with my god damn family?”

“Well,” you start. In truth, all you want to do is console him, but for all you know that could make him feel worse. You had to figure out what he wanted first. “What do you want to do then?”

He took a deep breath before he let it out again.

“I think I’m going to take some time off,” he concluded. It had been on his mind recently and now was as good a time as any. He just wanted to be home. “Maybe a week or two.”

“If that’s what you really want to do, then I think that’s a great idea. Just don’t forget to tell Eijirou or else he’ll blow a fuse if he just think’s your late because the great Dynamight is always punctual.”

You got a hearty puff of air and smile out of him for that little line. it was no shock that when all came down to it, Kirishima Eijirou and Bakugou Katsuki ended up working in the same agency.

“I’ll just text the bastard.”

“You need to tell the agency too, you dolt,” you lightly whacked him on the bed as he groaned. Getting time off wasn’t going to be hard for him considering the god awful hours he’s been forced into the past however long. Just going into the office to get that time off is annoying and a process he wish he could get someone else do to for him. “Just head out in the morning and let both your partner and your agency know. It won’t be so bad.”

“Whatever,” he huffed. “Just, go back to sleep.”

You glanced back at the clock to see that only about half and hour had passed. You sighed as you closed your eyes happily ready to return to sleep before Misuzu woke up.

You swore Katsuki was out before you.

-x-x-x-

You woke up three hours later, just after 7 am to the sounds of your daughter’s crying from her nursey. When you opened your eyes and sat up, your husband was no where to be seen.

You frowned, knowing that he was awake somewhere and he had only slept a few hours. Shaking your head, you got up and went to Misuzu’s room to get her from her crib and bring her into your arms.

You shushed the infant in your arms as you left the nursey and walked around the house. Katsuki was no where to be found and his everyday shoes were gone from the shoe rack next to the door. He must’ve went out already.

Not thinking much of it, you moved to the kitchen to grab one of Mizusu’s bottles from the fridge. One plus of pumping was getting bottles for the future- but that was one of the only pros among a number of cons.

With Misuzu being still so young, she didn’t do much beside nursing, napping and diaper calls. She would coo and whine and clutch onto your fingers and clothes and hair, but her energy was never prolonged.

After nursing, burping and playing with her she was yawning again. You left to place her back in her crib in her room as you let he sleep a little while longer. Flipping on the baby monitor, you left the room and went to the kitchen. Your daughter had breakfast, it was only fair that you got something to eat too.

As you scrambled the last eggs in your fridge, enough for Katsuki just in case you saw him this morning, you heard the front door open and shut again. You smiled as you heard footsteps come treading into the kitchen and you looked over your shoulder to see your husband.

You smiled at him as he rubbed the back of his head. Dressed in jeans that tore just slightly in the thighs and a t-shirt, Wwhen he saw you, he immediately started going towards you.

“Good morning,” you told him as he was at your side looking over your shoulder. “Welcome home.”

“Mmn,” he hummed at you.

“Where’d you go so early in the morning?”

“Agency.”

“You should’ve slept in a little bit more. You didn’t sleep long.”

“I didn’t want to wait any more to just be able to stay home.”

You smiled at his answer. You brought one hand up to pat his cheek as he leaned into your touch.

“Why don’t you go get comfortable if you’re staying home then?”

He hummed at you again, nodding before he kissed your shoulder and sauntered back into your shared room. He took his time getting changed and getting into more homey clothes, because when he came back into the kitchen you were placing your food on plates for the both of you.

This time, when he came to you, instead of standing beside you, he latched onto you from behind as he buried his face into your neck. You could tell from the feeling of his eyelashes tickling your skin that he was still tired. You had half a mind to tell him to just go back to bed and he could really wake up and eat later.

The way he tightened his grip on your waist and started to sway ever so gently back and forth in the kitchen made you stay silent though. It was a serene moment between you two and you just closed your eyes and basked in it. It had been so long since you just got to bask in him and him in you.

“You hungry?” You asked as softly as you could muster. He nodded but made no effort to try and move away from you. “Do you expect to eat with your face hidden?” You teased.

“Just a little longer,” he muffled, his breath making your skin rise with gooseflesh as it tickled.

Half and hour later, you were taking his plate from him as he cleaned it of food and went to put them in the sink. He jumped from his chair at the table before he was gently moving you away from the metal hole in the counter where you were about to wash the dishes you had dirtied this morning.

“I’ll wash them,” he insisted.

“I don’t mind doing it.”

“Don’t be so damned stubborn. You cooked, so it’s fair.”

You shrugged as you relented. “If you really insist. Thank you, Katsuki.” You placed a small, short kiss on his cheek before you moved back to the table to sit.

As he cleaned up the dishes, you sat at the table and fiddled with your phone, scrolling through apps to see what you missed and then flicking occasionally to watch Katsuki’s back.

“I feel you fuckin’ staring,” he spoke as he shut the water off, shaking his hands before he dried them on a towel. The dishes all sat in a plastic draining rack as he turned around and leaned against the counter. You placed your chin in your palm as you laughed at him.

“Yeah? Got a problem with it?”

“Not necessarily.”

You both jumped when a small whine was heard over the speaker of the baby monitor you had sitting on the center of the table. You pushed your chair out, but before you could even stand up, Katsuki was up and down the hall to check on Misuzu.

When you made it to her door, he had already lifted her out of her crib. She had reached up and snagged a tiny handful of her father’s hair as he hissed.

“Listen you little brat, just because your my baby doesn’t mean you can yank on my hair.” Her small fist only yanked down on his hair more as if to say ‘I can and will’. You chuckled as you walked into the nursey and started to detangle her hand from his blond hair.

Katsuki watched as her fingers released his hair and instead wrapped around your finger as you bounced it slightly. Her tiny arm moved in tandem with your finger bounces.

“Hey,” your soft voice calling him suddenly brought him out of his own mind. You gently pulled Misuzu’s fingers off you as you pushed your palm against Katsuki’s cheek. “Why are you crying?”

Was he? God, he hated crying- especially in front of you. He clicked his tongue, whipping his head to face away from you as he used one of his hands to quickly swipe under his eyes.

“I’m not.”

You smiled at him, holding back a laugh as you pushed your husband into the living room to let Misuzu play on the floor. Katsuki sat on the living room floor cross legged as you watched him play with her as she lay on her back.

Occasionally he would glance at the time and remind you to pump, as if your tender chest wasn’t a constant reminder anyway. You always just nodded and told him you would when you needed to.

The three of you spent the morning in the living room until the infant began to yawn back to back and rub at her eyes clumsily. You let Katsuki put her down for her nap in the afternoon since he never really had the opportunity to. Through the baby monitor you could hear him mutter and coo at her to go to sleep.

When she was down, Katsuki came back into the living room and sat himself beside you on the couch. He sighed, throwing his head back against the couch and closing his eyes, obviously ready for a nap himself.

“Why not try and sleep while she’s down?” You had planned on getting him to rest while you start to go through the duffle bag you had relocated to the corner of the room a while ago to see what all he needed done with his hero equipment.

He opened one of his eyes, seeing you eyeing towards his bag and he frowned. He shifted his body, snatched your waist and threw himself back to lay on the cushions, you following in tow to lay on top of him.

“Katsuki!” You scolded in a hushed tone as to not wake up your daughter who just went to sleep.

“I’ll nap here and you will too. No objections.” He brought one of his hands up to start stroking your head. “Just let me take care of my god damn wife for once.” You just shook your head and pushed your cheek further against his chest to get comfortable. When he says it like that, you can’t really bring yourself to oppose him.

“Hey,” you whispered. You felt him hum in response to you. “I love you.”

His legs shifted and his arms wrapped around you tighter, getting more comfortable. He let out a deep, comfortable breath as you felt him push his cheek into the top of your head.

“‘Fuckin’ love you too.”

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itslieutenanthawkeye · 3 years ago

Text

Day 1 of Jeankasa Smut Week 2021: Roleplay

Ao3

"'Passion' a word which involves so many feelings. I feel it when we touch; I feel it when we kiss; I feel it when I look at you. For you are my passion; my one true love."

Disclaimer: This contains explicit smut. Please make sure to practice safe sex.

Jean got into a bad mood each day they went to the market. He didn’t like crowds, and the population of the island had grown considerably after the signing of the peace accords. He liked his Saturdays quiet and lazy, with her and their baby girl as his only company, not surrounded by shouting vendors and haggling grandmas everywhere.

But he couldn’t deny her anything, and Mikasa knew that very well. It only took a “Jean, please,” with her eyes set onto his for him to become a puddle. Five years together and she still had the same power on him. And oh how he adored that.

“Jean,” she called, walking back to hold his hand and pull him along. “You’re staying behind,”

“Sorry!” Jean said, catching up to her strides. “Are you sure she’s going to be fine?”

“Your mom adores her. She’s been wanting to take her to the beach festival for a while,” she said. “And besides, Connie is with her. They will be fine.”

“Connie spoils her too much,” Jean said, shaking his head. “She’s going to eat three kilos of candy,”

Mikasa turned to look at him over her shoulder, giving him a smile that almost froze him on the spot. She was so pretty; beyond pretty, she was perfect. She usually kept her hair up in a bun when they went grocery shopping to not draw attention, but the sight of her jawline and neck was almost enough for send him over the edge. All jean wanted to do was push her into an alley, kiss her until he ran out of breath, undo that hairdo and pull on her hair as he—

“Jean,” Mikasa said as they reached the next fruit stand. She was facing him now, pretty eyes confused. “Are you okay?”

Jean cleared his throat and shifted his weight from one foot to the other, cursing himself. All Mikasa wanted was buy apples and pears at peace, and there he was, aroused in the middle of the market because his wife was showing a little bit of neck.

Sure, being parents in a two-bedroom apartment made things difficult, and they couldn’t make love as often as they had back when they’d been childless.

He adored their little girl, but she was at a point in which all she wanted was to hug mommy at night, and she either slept in between the two, or convinced Mikasa to sleep with her in her room.

Well, Jean also wanted some time with his woman.

Tonight, he reminded himself. Tonight, they would have the apartment all to themselves, and then they would head out to the beach the next day, to meet up with his mother and Connie.

Tonight, they would finally have the whole apartment for themselves. Tonight, he would lick her for hours. Tonight, he would make her come over and over with his tongue and then he would fuck her right on the kitchen counter.

“Jean, you’re spacing out.”

He shook his head; he couldn’t allow himself to get fired up in the middle of the market, not in front of the old lady that was bagging up their fruit. “I’m sorry,” he said, leaning forward to place a kiss on her cheek.

Mikasa blushed and gave the old lady a sideways glance, making him smile. She’d never been too comfortable with public displays of affection, he knew. “Sorry again,”

“Don’t be,” she replied bashfully, then stepped a bit closer. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said, kissing her forehead again and loving the sight of her blush deepening. “I’ll go get the onions.”

“You’re trying to get me flustered, Kirstein,” she said, giving him a mischievous half smile.

“Always, Ackerman,” he said, giving him a proper smirk. “Be right back,”

He’d taken all the bags with him. He’d done it to keep her from carrying the bags. A sweet thing (he was a sweet, sweet man) but a careless thing, too, Mikasa thought as she walked with two large cabbages and a handful of scallions tucked in her arms.

He wasn’t hard to find in the crowd. He’d never been, with how tall he was…also, he was too handsome, too well built to go unnoticed. Everywhere they did, he drew eyes his way, both from men and women. Usually, whenever he was with her, nobody dared to try and approach him.

The fact that he’d been alone for ten minutes was probably the reason why that red headed woman had approached him.

She was, simply put, astonishing. Tall, with large breasts speckled with freckles, wide hips and a plump set of lips. Her hair was cascading down her shoulder, brushed so many times that it shone like molten copper, her eyes of a deep blue and her smile kind and sweet.

“Honey,” Mikasa said, reaching his side. Jean turned to look at her with a wide smile. He took the cabbages from her hands and tucked them inside the bags, readjusting them over his shoulder. “This is where you’ve been?”

Jean blinked, confused. “Didn’t you say you’d meet me here?”

“Oh,” Mikasa said, recalling what she’d said. “Yes.”

Jean smiled, giving her a kiss on the forehead. “I was just talking to Melody,” he said, gesturing to the redhead in front of him. “Melody, this is my wife.”

The girl beamed at her. “A pleasure,” she said, reaching out to shake her hand, her breasts almost spilling out of her cleavage. “Jean was just talking about you and your little girl.”

“Do you know each other?” Mikasa asked.

Melody gave Jean a shy look he didn’t return. “We were friends back in the day,” she said, with a shrug.

Mikasa understood what that meant; Jean had known the touch of many women before they got together. And she couldn’t blame him; she’d loved another person, and then she had mourned him for three years. During those three years Jean had been young, handsome, independent…it was ridiculous to think that he would remain single.

And he was a good back then as well as now, so most of the girls he’d dated, he still treated them politely whenever he encountered them. Still, Mikasa did not like seeing him interact with whoever he’d shared a bed with before. And Jean knew this.

“Melody is here with her husband,” he said. “She’ll be in Shingashina for a little while.”

“Wonderful,” Mikasa mumbled, inevitably looking at the girl. She was two years or three younger, and feminine as a doll. Why had she decided to put on that stained old dress for today?

Because market days weren’t meant to be fancy days, she reminded herself. They weren’t meant to be spent in fancy, tight dresses that enhanced the color of your eyes. Hadn’t anyone told this girl?

But, who was she kidding, trying to think badly of her just for wearing gorgeous clothes and having brushed her hair? Melody was gorgeous, feminine, and maybe yes, Mikasa had a bit of a complex about not being as girly as the other cadets during her teenage years, a complex she hadn’t quite gotten over yet.

“We should meet for dinner one day,” the girl said, but something told Mikasa that her words were meant mostly for Jean. “I need to run now, I’m all done with grocery shopping,”

She looked back at the group of older women carrying her bags for her, waving at them in an almost childish gesture, before giving Mikasa a respectful bow and a smile to Jean. “I’ll see you around, Kirstein,”

Mikasa tightened her grip on the little bag as the girl walked away; Jean didn’t watch her walk, neither did he smile back at her. No, his eyes were only on her. His attention had always belonged to Mikasa, all his desire has always been solely focused on her.

Still, Mikasa couldn’t help but to narrow her eyes at him. “You got distracted?”

“Not at all,” he said, stepping closer to her and kissing her temple. Mikasa closed her eyes, enjoying his touch, and put a hand on his waist to look up at him. “Please don’t tell me you think I’d—”

“I don’t think anything,” Mikasa said, shaking her head, feeling ashamed of herself for the frown she’d put on his face.

“I know you don’t like to see them. But I swear she just came to say hi,” Jean said, putting his hands on her shoulders and giving her another kiss. Mikasa wrapped her hands around his waist fully now, pressing her head to his chest. “Mika, I’ve got no eyes for anyone else. You’re perfect, and I love you.”

Mikasa looked up at him, brought to comfort by the warmth of his arms around her. He was looking at her with the same expression he had for all these years; one that spoke only about deep, passionate, unyielding love. “I love you too,” she said, closing her eyes, inviting him to kiss her lips.

Jean tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and leaned forward to press his lips against hers. The passing vendor that pushed him to the side broke the spell, however, and it also almost made Jean tumble to the ground.

“Are you okay?” Mikasa said, holding on to him and leading him to the side of the street.

“I’m fine,” he said, then glared at the group of children that passed by, running and shouting at the top of their lungs. He smiled at her, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. “The market is not the most romantic of places.”

Mikasa lowered her head. It had been her idea to come today; he’d wanted to stay indoors, make love to her all morning and then cook breakfast together. “I’m sorry,”

“Don’t apologize,” he said,’cupping her face with one hand. “You are gorgeous, and we have a home to look after, don’t we?”

“We do,” Mikasa said, nodding.

“Let’s go,” he said, grabbing her hand and giving it a kiss. “I’ll make lunch for you,”

“I love you, Jean,”

“I love you too, Mikasa,” he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder so they could make their way along the street. “I gotta say, this jealousy thing you have is an ego boost.”

“I know you get a laugh out of it,” she said, smiling once again when he kissed her temple. She looked over her shoulder, to where the girl had been. Did he miss his bachelor life? Did he miss dressing up and going on fancy dates with mysterious, rich girls? All pointed to him not missing it, but he’d lived as a single man for a long time before anything reciprocal happened between them.

Mikasa narrowed her eyes as she came up with an idea.

___________________________

Most of the afternoon had been too hectic to nap, or do anything else. The whole time, he’d stared at Mikasa as she sorted the food they’d gotten, as they cooked lunch and cleaned the rooms in their apartment. And whenever she’d let her hair down, he’d felt himself growing hard.

Jean entered the shower with his cock throbbing with desire for his wife. He needed her. He’d been lusting after her the whole morning, the whole afternoon, and now he was throbbing in his pants for her.

He turned on the warm water and put his head under it, noticing thick droplets of precum leaking out of the tip of him. If he came to her like this after their shower, he would come in his pants before he even got the chance to give her any pleasure.

So, Jean rubbed the length of his cock, slowly at first, thinking about the curve of her neck, her jealous display that morning. He thought of ripping the clothes off her as he rubbed himself more, then he imagined her nipples in his mouth, her perfect beautiful nipples that got so hard so easily…he would make her scream tonight; he would fuck her hard and long.

Jean pressed his forehead against the shower wall, picturing her squirming and shouting, then spilled his own pleasure as the water ran down his back. It was a quick orgasm, just quick enough to hold on during the night.

When he came out of the shower, however, he didn’t find her in their room. There was a little note, hastily written on their recently made bed.

Balcony.

She’d laid out clothes for him; the military suit he’d worn for the signing of the peace accords, years ago. Jean smiled, confused by what she was planning, but he wasn’t one to complain.

He wanted to take her out for dinner; they hadn’t had a date in two months and this little vacation from parenting was the perfect chance for him to spoil her.

Even in his military suit, he found himself severely underdressed when he saw her waiting at the balcony. The sun had started to go down, and the orange colors of the sky matched perfectly with her red, tight dress she had on. She’d put a soft red lipstick on; Mikasa didn’t wear much make up, and he loved her like that, but the sight of her red lips only brought the image of her lovely mouth wrapped tightly around his cock.

Control yourself, dumbass, he told himself.

“Hey,” he said, smiling as he opened the door to their balcony. She’d laid out wine and a table of bread, cheeses and meat. “Are we staying in tonight?”

Mikasa stared at him with a blank face, almost as if…she didn’t know him.

“What’s going on, honey?”

“Why are you calling me your honey?” She asked, and Jean didn’t know whether he ought to be worried or terrified. Of all the things that had happened to them so far, she couldn’t have lost her memory now.

“It’s not funny, Mika,” he said, coming close to her to grab her arm, but his wife pulled away.

“Do you go around touching strangers?” Mikasa asked and, as she turned to face the city, Jean saw the hint of a smile on her face…and understanding came to him. He smirked; so, she wanted to get playful?

You’re naughty, Ackerman, he thought.

“I’m sorry,” he said, leaning back against the thick railings, a careful distance away from her, still close enough to smell her perfume. “You’re just a lovely looking little thing,”

Mikasa didn’t look back at him, but he saw the hints of a blush on her cheeks. He tilted his head to the side; he’d flirted like this many many times in the past. He’d never flirted with her, though. Their love had grown without the need of flirting, as well as their desire for each other. It had been a natural thing, like the thawing of winter, like the arrival of the spring rains.

Flirting with her like this…it amused him. It aroused him.

“Do you go around calling girls ��thing’?” She said, giving him a sideways glance that showed Jean in full just how blushed she was. Her smiled at her; she wasn’t used to this, and flirting was clearly not her stronghold. “Who are you, anyways?”

Jean poured a glass of wine each before he stepped closer to her. “Who are you?” He asked, his eyes traveling her body up and down. He didn’t hide his desire for her in his gaze; he was telling her without words that he wanted every bit of her, and Mikasa exhaled deeply when he brushed some hair away from her shoulder. “You don’t look like people around here.”

She cracked a little smile at that. “I don’t?”

“You have really pretty black hair,” he said, his smirk becoming bolder.

“Thanks.”

“What’s your name?” Jean asked, his fingers tracing her shoulder, making her shiver.

“Mikasa,” she said in a low voice.

“That name isn’t from around,” Jean raised his eyebrows in fake surprise. “Are you from the island?”

“I grew up in Hizuru,” she said, looking down. “Half of my family is Azumabito.”

“Ah, hizuran royalty? Tilt your head back a bit, please,” Jean said, and Mikasa did as he asked. He put the glass of wine against her lips and she took a couple of sips. “I hope you won’t mind me, lady, I’m just a military officer.”

“What’s your name?” Mikasa asked. There were some droplets of wine on her chin, which Jean wiped off with his index.

“Jean Kirstein, lady,” he said, his finger going up to her mouth, tracing the shape of her lower lip. “Tell me, won’t this get you in trouble?”

“Yes,” Mikasa said, her dark eyes on his. “But I got a night away from my guardians.”

“And you want to be naughty with the first stranger you see?” Jean asked, giving her a wicked smile that brought a tiny surprised yelped out of her. “Won’t you get in serious problems if you’re seen with a lowly official like me?”

“I might,” Mikasa said, biting her lower lip before casting a glance inside their apartment.

“Do you want to go somewhere quieter?” Jean asked. “Somewhere you won’t be seen? I would feel terrible if you got into trouble.”

“Do you want to go inside?”

“Yes,” he said. Mikasa nodded and walked back, and just the sight of her hips moving in that dress was enough to get his cock hard once again.

He took the bottle of wine with him, then closed the door and drew the curtains. Mikasa was facing away from him, and Jean took that as an invitation. He pressed himself hard against her back, letting her feel how hard he was with her buttock. Then, he brushed the hair away from her shoulders, uncovering her lovely naked neck.

“Do you have a habit of taking foreign men to bed?” He asked her as he put hot kisses on her neck. Mikasa closed her eyes and tilted her head back, a position that Jean used to feed her some more of that wine, directly from the bottle. A little spilled onto her naked chest, which Jean wiped with his thumb and brought up to her mouth for her to suck on. “Do you have a habit of letting men feel you up like this?”

Mikasa shook her head. “What about you?” She turned around to face him. “Do you have a habit of bringing random girls to your apartment?”

Jean put his hand against her cheek. So that was it. She hadn’t liked seeing that girl, that shadow he barely remembered of his past. She’d seen the way Mikasa had looked at the girl’s dress, and knew her well enough to understand the sight of her hadn’t pleased her.

“Not anymore,” he said, caressing her cheek. He knew he had a past with women, she knew that as well. And he was willing to reassure her as many times as it took, that the idea of even looking at another woman was ridiculous to him, unthinkable. “Not ever again, after you.”

Mikasa leaned into his touch, sighing deeply. “Are you not married, officer Kirstein?”

Jean smiled, they were playing again. “Not yet,” he said, leaning forward again, smelling her perfume and the wine intertwining. “I’d marry you tonight if you let me.”

“I’ll definitely get in trouble for that,” she said, breathing heavily. Jean’s cock was beginning to leak by now. He needed her, so so badly. “I’m only a commoner for tonight.”

“What are you after tonight?” He asked playfully. “A princess?”

Mikasa nodded, and he noticed her squeezing her legs together in anticipation. “I leave tomorrow morning.”

“Can I make the hizuran princess come with my tongue?” He asked in a low voice, getting a moan out of her. Mikasa nodded, her eyes half lidded, full of desire.

Just a nod was all he needed. Jean surrounded her body with his arms and kissed her; their mouths joined together almost desperately, and their tongues found each other quick. Her dress was tight, tight enough for him to perfectly feel the shape of her breasts against his shirt.

Jean took her in his arms and sat her on the small coffee table in their living room. “This is so pretty,” he said as he ran his hands up and down the fabric of her dress. “I don’t want to rip it off.”

“Rip it off,” she asked, and Jean was too aroused to not do so. He would buy her a brand-new dress tomorrow, he thought as he ripped the pretty red fabric to reveal her naked body. Her inner thighs were wet already, and Jean was amazed to see her pussy slick and ready for him.

But no, not yet. He would take his time with her. He would fuck her good and hard all night, but now he would focus on making her come. “Can I see you touch yourself, princess?”

Mikasa propped herself up on one elbow. “What?”

“I want to see you,” Jean said, parting her legs further apart. He wanted to taste her, he wanted her pussy all over his face. But first, he wanted to play some more. “I want you to show me, princess, how you want me to touch you. Please?”

_____________________________

Mikasa hesitated a second. Jean had played with her enough times for her to know what she liked and how she liked it, but he rarely asked to watch. He was in his knees in front of her, his penis bulging in his pants, his face red and full of desire.

She wanted to see more of that expression.

So, Mikasa put her two fingers above the little bulge of pleasure just above her folds and gave a little rub. She was soaked through; a little flirting with Jean and just a few kisses had been enough to leave her like a puddle.

She gave her clit a careful rub, moaning at the touch of her fingers. Then, she rubbed a little more.

“Look at me,” Jean asked. Mikasa kept moving her fingers in a circular motion, then one of Jean’s hand was on her breast, squeezing her nipple with two fingers while his other hand…his other hand brought out his penis, huge and throbbing and beautiful.

The hand on his breast soon went to join the fingers she was using to masturbate. He moved his fingers alongside hers, then introduced two inside her wet slit. All the while, he jerked himself. There were thick beads of white liquid on the head of his cock, which he wiped with two fingers and used to wet her nipples with.

“You are so naughty, princess,” he said, squeezing her breast. “Letting a stranger like me play with you like this,”

His fingers twitched inside her, in that hook like motion she enjoyed so much, and her fingers onn her clitoris became quicker. Her breath became heavier, and she could feel that buildup of pleasure becoming incredibly high. She looked at him the whole time, her eyes set on his body. The muscles in his arms became more prominent when he played with himself, and oh his dick looked so big in his hands, all Mikasa could think about was putting it inside her mouth, or her pussy.

“Jean,” she called, the motions of her fingers becoming quicker. She was so close. “Jean! Ahhh…”

Mikasa tilted her head back, her fingers working nonstop, and arched her back. She was coming now. He took that as another invitation. Jean leaned forward, removed his fingers and pressed his tongue against her entrance just in time to drink up all the juices that leaked out of her with her orgasm.

Mikasa’s moans died down as the waves of her orgasm left her, but Jean didn’t move away. Instead, he pressed his face closer to her pussy, and began licking.

“I need to taste you, princess,” he said, looking up as he ran his tongue alongside her whole and over her folds. His smile was wicked, his eyes pure desire. “I need to taste more of your juices, princess.”

She grabbed his head by the head, suddenly possessed by a sudden urge to dominate him, and brought his face back down onto her pussy. “Taste,” she told him, unsure where the sultry sound in her voice was coming. “Drink all of me,”

Jean became a beast; he buried his face inside her, two fingers inside and his tongue incessantly pulsing against her clit, driving her insane. He knew in which way to move his tongue, he knew exactly what to do and knew how to make her come.

Soon, Mikasa came on his tongue and face again. This time, when she spilled her wetness on him, she was screaming his name. She propped herself up on her elbows again, to look at his face. His nose, mouth and cheeks were covered in wetness. He was oh, so beautiful.

“I’m not done, princess,” he informed her, giving her folds another tentative lick that made her squirm in pleasure. Just how many times would he make her come tonight? “Come up, please.”

Mikasa did as he requested, and soon, Jean wrapped the tie around her eyes. Everything went dark around her, but she could clearly feel his fingers pressing onto her clitoris.

“This way, when they ask you who fucked you all night, you can tell them you don’t know,” he said, using his strong arms to lay her back against the table.

“You’re going to get carried away,” Mikasa moaned. “Let me, let me use my mouth—”

“No, princess,” he said, sucking on her clit before speaking again. “Tonight I’m your servant. I’m your knight, the knight that’s going to make you flood the carpet.”

“I’m supposed to be a commoner tonight,”Mikasa moaned, leaning her head back as he buried his face between her legs. Everything was black, but she could feel his fingers entering her, moving back and forth, she could tell that his tongue was enjoying every bit of her.

“You’re never a commoner, Mikasa,” he said, sucking on her again. “You’re a queen, and a queen must always be treated accordingly.”

________________________

He loved her taste. No, he adored it. And he loved hearing her come, her voice high pitched and full of his name. The juices didn’t stop coming; not the first time, not the second time, not the third. And on the fourth time he made her come, even more juices came out.

His face was soaked by the time he felt like he could take it no longer, and when he came back up to kiss her, he almost said I love you to her.

But no; they were playing just now. And now he was the military official, shamelessly fucking the princess on her diplomatic visit. “Here, come taste yourself,” he said, grabbing her by the back and lifting her up. She parted lips for him without trying to remove the tie from her eyes. He pressed his lips to hers, and her tongue explored his mouth for long minutes.

Her hand was soon stroking his cock; she wanted him, she’d wanted to suck on him earlier, and he hadn’t let her. “You’re eager to learn, aren’t you, princess?”

“I want to make you feel good, officer,” she replied, stroking him harder.“Let me use my tongue.”

Jean pushed her back against the coffee table; there was a puddle on the wood, a puddle that was dripping onto the carpet. He would need to change and clean all of that before the weekend finished.

Her parted legs where right there in front of him, though. Changing the carpet was the least of his worries. Jean leaned forward, rubbing the tip of his penis on her clit, making her moan more.

“Aren’t you going to let me?” She asked; her pale cheeks were completely red, and she was breathing heavily from all the times she’d come. Jean smiled; that sweet face was all he needed.

“We need to make you feel good, princess,” he said, pushing the head of his cock inside her. He knew he was big, he knew how much she enjoyed it when he introduced his dick slowly, letting her feel every inch. Mikasa moaned as her went deeper, her mouth opening into a perfect little O. He couldn’t take it any longer; Jean grabbed the tie and threw it away, needing to see his wife’s eyes as he pushed deep inside.

“Jean,” she moaned, giving him a lusty gaze. “All the way,”

“Yes, princess,” he said, pushing his whole length inside her, making her yelp. “We’ll do this a couple of times, okay? I want you to go back home well fucked.”

“Hard,” she asked, her voice sweet and and pleasure filled. “Fuck your princess hard,”

Jean pushed inside of her and then came out, then he came back down, making her moan out loud. She brought a hand up to her mouth, almost as if to stifle her moans. Fuck, she was cute. “Hey,” he said, grabbing her hand gently and pressing it against the table, exposing her mouth. “There’s just us home, okay? Be as loud as you want,”

“But—” a moan escaped her throat as he thrusted inside her.

“Let me hear you scream, princess,” he said, thrusting slowly, with one of his hands rubbing on her clit. “Let me hear you scream.”

“Jean!” She moaned as he thrusted quicker. This is exactly what he wanted; he wanted her loud, he wanted her driven to the edge with pleasure, he wanted her sweaty and all to himself. This is what he’d been thinking about all day.

“Fuck, I love you,” he moaned against her ear. “You’re such a good princess,”

“Mine,” Mikasa moaned, wrapping her arms around his back, kissing him on the lips with urgency as he pumped inside her. “You’re mine, Kirstein. Mine,”

“All yours,” he moaned as well, feeling himself getting closer and closer to his orgasm. “I’m going to cum soon.”

“Inside me,” she panted.

Jean chuckled against her ear. “Do you want to get pregnant, your highness?” He said, thrusting nonstop, feeling thick beads of sweat on his forehead. “Do you want to return home with my child in your belly?”

“I’m not going back,” she screamed; so, his fingers were working wonders. “I’m staying here!”

“Wanna get fucked some more?” Jean asked.

“Yes!”

“Want me to come inside?” Jean asked, his knees weaker, his balls tight with the closeness of his orgasm. “Want me to fill you up?”

“Fill me, Jean,” Mikasa said, opening her mouth, now screaming in full. The quiet, collected princess she’d played transformed into a lustful, insatiable woman. “Fill me!”

“I’ll fill you all the fucking time, princess,” he promised, groaning more and more like an animal. He needed to come, he would go mad if he didn’t. “I’ll fill all of your holes, princess, I promise.”

“I love you,” Mikasa said, grabbing him by the neck to press her forehead against his. Jean kissed her, unable to hold back any longer. He spilled his seed inside her, with his lips still on hers, muffling her moans of pleasure as she came again from his fingers. Their orgasms had the strength of an explosion, and both of them shouted into each other’s mouth as their pleasure spilled on each other.

Jean crumbled on top of her chest, breathless. He was still pulsing inside her, his dick half-hard in her sweet, warm wetness.

“I love you, Mika,” he said, kissing her neck and recalling their game. “Oh sorry, I love you,’princess.”

Mikasa smiled at him, her face red and tired. “Did you like it?”

“I love everything we do,” he said, kissing her lips again. “But I think we’ll do this princess-knight thing more often. It’s so hot.”

Her smile wavered a little, and Jean felt his heart tightening by the sight of her sudden disappointment. He cupped her face, giving her another kiss on the lips. “What is it? Didn’t you like it?”

“I loved it,” she said, looking away from him. “It’s just…do you miss it?”

“Miss what?”

“Getting women like this,” she said, closing her eyes. “You know, one-night stands. Do you miss sleeping with your rich friends?”

Jean stopped smiling, then kissed her cheek. “Did you do this whole roleplay thing because of that?” He asked her. “Did you do it because you thought I missed hooking up?”

Mikasa opened her eyes, then shook her head. “I wanted to play, I wanted…” she admitted, a little ashamed. “I wanted you, but I also wanted to see what it was like. I wanted to see the Jean that seduced all those women.”

"That Jean and this Jean are the same, Mika,” he said, brushing away the hair sticking to her forehead. “Honey, you’ve got all of me. All of me. I don’t need another woman, I don’t miss those days.”

“You don’t?”

“Not at all,” Jean said, placing another kiss on her lips. “I make love to the woman I love, to the mother of my child, to the woman I crushed on for years.”

Mikasa giggled a little at that, making him smile wider. That laughter was only for him and their daughter; that laughter was enough for him to be sure he wanted nothing other than the woman in front of him (or under him, if he had to be accurate).

“Mikasa Ackerman, I adore you with every bit of my being,” he said, cupping her face again. “I don’t want anyone else. I don’t miss the empty, loveless sex. All I want is to make love to you, and have you love me back. I love flirting with you, and I love it when we get naughty, but that doesn’t mean I miss any part of my life as a single man.”

“I love you, Jean,” she replied, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I adore everything about you, too.”

“And I adore making love to you,” Jean said, reaching for her neck. He kissed her again, and the little gasp she did was enough to get him hard again. “Making love to you and then waking up next to you brings me more happiness than anyone before ever did. Mikasa, you’re my one and only.”

“And you are mine,” she said, grabbing his face between two hands and kissing him for a long time before letting go. “Hey, Jean?”

“Yeah?”

“Make love to me again.”

__________________

She had her hands between her legs while he fucked her from behind. After the living room, they’d taken a shower together, then he’d carried her to their room, where he’d licked her some more.

At some point, she’d managed to use her mouth to suck every ounce of pleasure out of him. But Jean’s stamina was unbelievable, and he’d soon been ready to go again. They were young in any case, and being parents had kept them too busy to have a proper go at lovemaking the past few months.

“Jean,” she moaned, hearing the steady slap of his body against hers as he pushed inside of her from behind.

Jean leaned forward, moving his hips in and out of her, then kissed her ear. “What is it, my princess?”

“The sun is coming out,” she said, pointing at the window. Indeed, there was a hint of orange in the horizon, and the birds were starting to sing outside. “You…”

“It had been a while since we fucked all night, right?” He teased, taking her earlobe in his mouth and sucking. Mikasa rubbed herself faster; she could feel when he was close to coming, she could hear it in his voice. “I love fucking you all night, princess. I love filling you everywhere.”

“You filled me…so good,” she said. He went quicker too, then put his hand on her nipple and squeezed. “Together, Jean,”

“Huh? What, baby?”

Mikasa gritted her teeth, he was groaning so hard nowhis thrust were so rough. “Let’s cum together,” she moaned, and Jean went quicker at her words. Mikasa moved her fingers faster against her clit. “Fill me again, fill me again,”

“I’ll fill you every time. I’ll fuck you good every time, princess. I promise you won’t regret staying here,” he promised. He was so good at talking filthy, much better than her, and his deep, pleasure filled voice was perfect.

Then, he buried one hand inside her hair to pull on it. He tilted her head back, and Jean kissed her long and deep, moaning into her mouth as they both climaxed.

They crumbled on the bed next to each other. While she’d made a little puddle in the living room, their bedroom sheets were downright soaked because of her. “I love you,” she whispered as she settled into his arms. “We shouldn’t drive to the beach today.”

“Want to do it some more?” He said, giving her a smirk that made her blush despite everything they’d done since last night.

“I mean because we didn’t sleep at all, Kirstein,” she said, giving him a gentle shove. Jean laughed and she settled onto his chest, closing her eyes to enjoy the sound of his beating heart.

“I love you, Mika,” he said.

“I love you too,” Mikasa looked up at him, suddenly feeling silly for her jealousy burst the previous day. “Hey, Jean?”

“Yes, darling?”

“We’re not going out for dinner with that girl.”

Jean’s chest went up and down in a deep chuckle. “I had no plans to do that, Mika,”

“And if she talks to you again…”

Jean tugged her chin upwards, but his smile wasn’t sarcastic, it wasn’t mocking. His smile, his eyes, his whole expression was nothing but love, and all that it did was make Mikasa fall even harder for him. “If she talks to me again, I’ll show her all the pictures I carry of you in my wallet, and I’ll tell her there is nobody more perfect.”

“Jean, not all of them,” she whispered, recalling one in particular he’d taken the last time his mother had looked after their baby.

“Oh no that’s just for me,” jean said, nuzzling her neck. “Just like you are, right?”

Mikasa nodded, letting him kiss her neck again. “Just yours, all of me,” she assured him. “And you are mine?”

“Body and soul, Ackerman,” he said, smiling against her neck. “All of me.”

#Jeankasa Smut #Jeankasa Smut Week 2021 #jean kirsten x reader #Mikasa Ackerman #Smut #Fanfic #ao3 smut #Roleplay #escritos

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sp00kworm · 5 years ago

Note

Aaa okay so I saw this on tiktok, where each time you get your heart broken a heart appears on your face/body, and if one appears on your lips you’re silenced until true love’s kiss. Would you mind writing smth about reader pining after 1A’s big three/Kirishima (you pick idc) and getting heartbroken since the boy goes on dates w other people and not them and eventually has the heart appear in their lips? Tysm I’m sorry 🥺👉🏼👈🏼

[Cont]: Would Amajiki be okay? Or Fathum. I’m sure I’ll love it either way! Your writing style is just really nice. 🥰

A/N: And now my Boomer ways will be shown. Thank you for the compliment though anon! I hope this lives up to your expectations? Also it was hard to choose here to I went for Tamaki, but rest assured I will write Fatgum soon because I absolutely adore Fatgum.

Pairing: Amajiki Tamaki/Suneater x Reader

---

Cupid’s Bow Lips

There was a common folklore all around the globe, one about heartbreak, and how the heart would appear on an individual’s skin, looking like odd freckles, small and perfectly formed until their soulmate broke their heart and sealed their lips with a blood red heart. Never had you believed in it, not until you met UA’s Big Three. The three top students in their final year of highschool. To see little Tamaki Amajiki as part of that trio was amazing in your eyes. His quirk was wonderful though. It was no wonder he was so highly ranked within the school. Yet the stark realism showed you that power and numbers would always be apart of your hero lives. Suneater. The hero to consume even the brightest of stars. You could not wait to see how great of a hero Tamaki would become once you all graduated. You’d known him since the first year, Mirio happily bounding over to introduce his recluse of a friend to everyone in the class, bubbly and extremely people fond. In contrast, Tamaki had stood and shivered, offering only a wave before he jumped and was dragged to the next desk with a friend group clustered around. You’d only spoken to him fully once when he needed to borrow a pencil and was too quiet to ask you without vaguely gesturing to your pencil in your own hand during mathematics.

Mirio had poked his hand through the back of your chair to get you to even notice the floundering dark haired boy.

“C-Can I…borrow a pencil?” Mirio had given him a bright smile and a thumbs-up, ever supportive as you blinked for a moment.

“Oh..Uh…Sure.” You fumbled in your pencil case before offering him a cherry stamped pencil, “You can keep it.” You offered as you went back to following what Ectoplasm was chattering about on the chalk board.

Tamaki blushed at the girly red cherry pencil but nodded his head, “Thank you.” Before looking back at the board, feeling Mirio’s bright smile on his back before a foot poked him in the back. He shuddered in embarrassment, teeth clenched as he tried and failed to follow whatever the hell the equation was Ectoplasm was yammering about.

“FIRST TO THE ANSWER GETS TO LEAVE EARLY.” The pro-hero announced, flicking the chalk rubber in his hand as he settled behind the desk, satisfied with the complexity of the problem for his third years.

It was easier talking after that. Amajiki wasn’t the most easy to get involved in a conversation, but it was very easy to get him to listen. His grades were good as well, so often you found yourself leaning over to ask him about Ectoplasm’s impossible equations. That was the start of you feeling something different for your classmate. Often Mirio would lean over and poke you in the back, fingers permeating your chair, scaring you half to death during class so Tamaki could ask you something. It got even scarier when Mirio popped his head through your door and invited you down to eat with them. Tamaki was a lot chattier in the company of Mirio and Nejire, two people he trusted completely, and you found yourself enamoured with their little group, although many did not like you tagging along with their famous trio. That became apparent the day you watched Tamaki get approached by a group of girls. Mirio was luckily there to disrupt the flow a little, talking loudly and brashly to let Amajiki hide a little behind his form, yet some were persistent, crowding the boy with requests of things.

“Amajiki-senpai, how about you go out with Hiroko? She really wants to speak to you about your manifest quirk! She has a similar thing but with mushrooms and I think you would be adorable together.” The girl cheered next to him. You could see the boy shutting down, shivering behind Mirio like a cowering kitten.

The blond gasped and shook his friend, “Come on Tamaki! I think it would be great!” He cheered before nodding, “Of course he’ll go chat to her! His quirk control is amazing.” Dense as ever Mirio encouraged him until the boy nodded and rushed away, seeking anyone to find refuge with away from the screeching crowd of girls. You felt your heart ache as you saw his blushed face and panicked expression.

Amajiki looked to your locker and panicked when you weren’t there, the door left open as though you had rushed away in a panic. Maybe the girls had gotten to you too? He looked down the corridor shyly, hiding behind the door of your locker before he peered inside. Your textbooks were there and practice uniform, even your school bag. He chewed his cheek as he looked at the pinned-up picture. It was his last birthday party. You were both passed out on top of Mirio’s stomach as he laughed. Nejire had taken the photo for you all before one of herself, peace signing with Mirio’s cheeky smile. Somehow, as he closed your locker door, your bag in hand, he felt like he had done something terribly wrong. Still, he needed to find you, to try and weasel his way out of whatever scary date Mirio had just accidentally set him up on.

He scoured the school before returning to the dorms. You room was locked.

Cautiously, he knocked, “(Y/N)? You…You left your bag.” There was no reply, “I’ll leave it outside.” He uttered, barely audible behind the door. He considered wiggling a tentacle under the door and letting himself in before shaking and chickening out too quickly. Gently, he placed your backpack against your door and left, sighing and grumbling to himself nervously as he tried to think of a way to avoid going out on a very unwanted date. With a sniffle, you dared to look at the mirror again and the burning, blood red heart that covered your lips. It sealed your mouth shut, the skin hot to the touch and sore. The curves moved over your cupids bow and the tip sat underneath your bottom lip, the skin held tight whenever you tried to speak. You could open to breathe and to eat, but to speak, the skin burned as though stuck together with super glue. The folk tale was true, and you were stuck, cursed to never speak to someone again if Tamaki found his love in this girl. Your heart ached as you looked at the littering of heart shaped freckles over your skin. Your chest was laced with them. You felt tears burn in your eyes as you started to cry again, bawling silently into your pillow, the mirror tossed on the floor.

You didn’t come to class the next day. Mirio frowned at your seat and at the gloomy looking Amajiki sat in front of him, hair flat and unbrushed as though he hadn’t slept.

“Are they unwell?” Mirio leaned over to ask him at lunch as they stood from their desks.

Tamaki shrugged but didn’t say a word, teeth gritted behind his quivering lips.

“Are you sure you want to go out with Hiroko, Tamaki?” Mirio asked, a large hand resting on his best friend’s shoulder.

In a sudden deep intake of breath, Amajiki span around to face him, “There’s nothing that would upset me more than having to go on a date with that girl.” He covered his mouth soon after and watched Mirio howl with laughter, the blond leaning back against his desk to try and steady himself as tears escaped his eyes.

“Oh…Oh my.” He wheezed, “That’s…Gosh. Here.” He pushed himself upright, “You go and check in on (Y/N), okay? I’ll go and make an excuse for you not to go out, deal?” Mirio smiled mischievously, but Tamaki nodded and fled the classroom faster than he ever had done before.

The dorms were silent. Everyone was out at lunch. He knew you had to be in your dorm room on the third floor. Only your next-door neighbour has seen you last night. You’d snuck out for a shower very late. Tamaki stood outside your door with a grimace, his fist held close to the wood as he listened to your silent room.

“(Y/N)?” He asked softly, knocking quietly, looking at his feet, “Everyone thinks you’re ill…Are y-you okay?” There wasn’t a reply. He sucked in a breath and summoned the digesting Takoyaki, the octopus tentacle squirming to life on his finger before he reached to the bottom of the door and squirmed it underneath, groping upwards until he could find the lock and handle, flicking the lock open with a clunk before he recalled his finger and opened the door, peering inside nervously in case he saw something untoward, “(Y/N)?” He asked again, looking at the lump laid under the covers of your bed. He dared to come a little closer, hand clutching the covers, giving it a little tug, “Everyone i-is worried…”

Silence. You clutched the covers tight before a tentacle squirmed under the covers, suckers locking tight before Tamaki wrenched the covers away from your face.

The sight scared him, so much so that he let out a squeak at the sight of your face, tear streaked and lips burning with a red love heart.

“Did…Did someone do this to you?” He asked with a shadow on his face as he dared to look at the sore skin again, fingers twitching as he reached for you before falling short.

You shook your head, a tear dripping down your cheek as Tamaki finally dared to cup your cheek and assess the damage.

His voice shook, “Is…This that… t-that myth about.” He gasped quietly before reaching his other hand to your other cheek, “Do you truly like me that way? I-I didn’t.” Too many thoughts swirled in his head, “I didn’t go out with Hiroko. I don’t like her…not like I like you.” He confessed, thumbs nervously stroking the apples of your cheeks before he took a breath, stealing his nerves before he leaned forwards quickly and kissed your lips, eyes closed tightly in case you should reject him.

A shocked noise escaped you before you felt the soreness of your lips ease, the heart fading and your lips parting to let you push back against Tamaki. The man gasped when your fingers gripped his shoulders, tugging him closer. The kiss healed your lips. The soreness escaped and your lips were healed. You pulled away from the kiss with a smile and pushed your fingers against your lips.

“I love you.” You wrangled Tamaki close, nuzzling his hair as you clutched the pointed tips of his ears.

The blue haired male gasped before blushing, “Are you…b-better now?” He asked gently, hands clasping your face with concern, teeth gritted awkwardly.

“Better than ever…Thanks to you.” You confessed.

“Then…Would you like to come and get lunch?” Tamaki asked, fingers playing with your shirt.

“I would like nothing more.”

Tamaki stood before reaching for your hand, “I…I-I…” He took a breath, “I love you t-too.” He stuttered out before tugging you along behind him, face blushing red and hands quaking as you clutched him tighter and followed him for lunch.

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restorerjourney · 4 years ago

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FREEDOM

April 13, 2021

I slept at 9:30pm but woke up at 4:30am again. Perhaps it was because I was anticipating ending our quarantine. I can’t imagine what 14 days of quarantine is like. I usually start my morning doing my quiet time since it is literally quiet and peaceful. I usually have a lot of thoughts and prayers as well during that time. I’m not normally a morning person so this adjustment is something to get used to.

Each room was assigned a certain time to get their rapid covid test and we all were negative! I was so relieved and immediately walked out. This quarantine not only allowed us to form a good foundation with each other, but it truly made me have a deeper gratitude for the so many things I take for granted...walking outside and enjoying the weather, the beautiful creation that is everywhere around us, SALAD, and the freedom to purchase what I needed. We decided to treat ourselves and eat downtown and wanted to get this well known sushi restaurant but we couldn’t because they were so busy and ran “Hawaian time”. For those who do not know, “Hawaiian time” is describing someone who is lax has no urgency and the total opposite of the east coast culture. This restaurant had one phone line and even when calling 20x right when they opened, when they finally picked up, ordering 3 rolls takes 2.5 hours...I was shocked and we decided to just eat at an American restaurant. I also was able to finally try Kona coffee for the first time! We went to Kona Coffee Cafe and I was able to sample so many different types and learn from the local the definition of Kona peaberries. These precious peaberries are grown on the volcanic slopes of Kona. They are expensive because they are rare and also require a lot of labor to harvest these peaberries. What you get though is the smoothest coffee I’ve ever tasted. I don’t like acidic coffee like Blue Bottle so this was perfect. Their dark chocolate covered roasted kona peaberry was amazing. I just got black macadamia nut vanilla ice coffee ( the additional flavors are natural oils added to the mixture).

I also was reaffirmed by speaking to the local how much the locals really feared COVID because the majority lived with their elders. Yesterday all the students attended a zoom meeting where we were instructed the importance of wearing our masks when we are downtown because it is mandated by the state of Hawaii but also to respect and show love to the locals. Unfortunately YWAM last quarter did have an outbreak of 30 people, but thankfully we were able to contain it. Speaking with the local who ran the cafe, I heard her frustration of how some previous YWAMers (probably teenagers) didn't abide by the mask rule and how it can really hinder us from demonstrating the love of Christ to them. That meeting we attend really reminded me that wearing the mask was more than politics but a way to show Christ love to those around us and to represent the God that we serve. I pray that even the youth here will be obedient and despite the inconvenience to serve the locals this way.

We then walked to the beach nearby and it was breathtaking. We sat down and just took the beauty of God’s creation in. The turquoise water, the perfect weather we were experiencing, the clear blue sky were all perfect. I really felt that I was in Hawaii and I could not stop staring at the waters. On our way home we grabbed lunch at this American bar/grill restaurant since we didn’t have much time. I got a spinach salad with MahiMahi ( it was dry but I didn't’ care because it was VEGGIES). We also tried gelato at Gypsea Gelato for the first time. I got passion fruit and toasted coconut with chocolate shavings. It was really good and there we ran into the other team members that we haven’t met since we were quarantined. It was nice to see that the girls in our team were all truly sweet and kind to each other. I can see us getting along and I look forward to what God has in store for us. We realized soon that we had to meet back at the base to our work duty (which was the sustainable farm). Literally since we were downtown, we were DOWNTOWN..meaning the base was uphill. I quickly grabbed watermelon drinks for my other roomies who had one more day of quarantine and we ran up the hill. Since I’ve been out of shape, I was dying going up that hill. It was also pretty sunny and wearing that mask going up 5 flights of stairs was torture. We quickly dropped off our belongings, changed clothes, and went to the sustainable farm.

Thankfully we made it on time! I was sweating like a pig but I was so glad we were able to respect their schedule. Let me tell you about the farm.. It is amazing… I am astonished how everything is not wasted and the creative ways they utilize every component to make this base sustainable. I absolutely love their mission theme which is to train students the importance of sustainability, how to steward these gifts to teach underserved countries how to also become self-sustaining, and to feed the homeless here in Kona. All vegetables grown here are used to feed the students. They have sheep, pigs, rabbits, fish, and chicken but they are used to educate how to raise animals. One rule that we had to remember was that the animals are kind and we need to treat them with respect. If there is any misbehaving animal, they will be offered to the locals who can provide a donation and more likely will be eaten.

We also get to learn the basics of aquaponics which was really cool and something you won’t really learn elsewhere. I pray that this experience will help me to appreciate food that is put at the table, the importance of knowing how to steward what God has provided. There were 6 restorer team members ( Winnie, Chloe, Chlo, Eunhye, Yaedam, and KC) and there were 6 other students who were part of a christian graduate farming sustainability program.

Side note: Chloe changed her name to Chlo because there were 2 Chloes LOL. What a funny kid...this is my spunky roomie btw.

What’s funny though is that I had an epiphany why I was placed in the Restorer program with a bunch of Koreans. I focused on how it would benefit me, but little did I know how I was also sent to help translate for the other restorer students since I was the most fluent Korean American. Yes, me. I am surprised and my friends are probably laughing while reading this but the other students are so encouraging saying that I am doing a good job that it motivates me to really try my best. We were all given chores to do and I picked feeding the chicken and picking their eggs. Did you know chickens lay different colored eggs based on the color of the ears? Yes chicken has ears and earlobes LOL. I did not know. I saw pale blue and brown eggs for the first time. I will also help raise the rabbits and we have one male rabbit, 2 large female rabbits, and a bunch of teenager rabbits. Each day, one rabbit gets to run around the garden while the rest are caged and at the end of our shift we have to catch the rabbit LOL. I will one day catch the rabbit with my bare hands. We also have sheep, dogs, and cats all over this farm hanging out with us!

A lot of us wore shorts so we were a buffet for the mosquitos so now we know long sleeves and pants are much needed. After orientation we went to the sustainable garden and helped reuse the pots that held the harvested cabbages and sort out roots, the pots, and the rocks. Tired, covered in bug bites, bug spray, sweat, and sunscreen, we walked back weary but excited to see how much we would learn. I’m glad to meet the other team members and to get to know them more as well. My roomies and I missed dinner at the cafeteria since it is still closed and they were packing them which we had to pick up so Winnie and I went downtown again to ABC to pick up dinner. We picked up oranges, egg sandwiches, and water. The sink water even with the strongest brita filter tastes pretty bad. It’s because the island is covered by salt water so it’s harder than other areas. Chloe stayed behind since she was working with the pigs that she voluntarily chose to do. Although she seems girly, she has a spunky side that is ready for challenging adventures which I love about her. Winnie is similar to me in that we love to exercise so we carried our groceries all the way up and enjoyed the exercise. Winnie and I had some one-on-one time which was nice and after we ate dinner, Chloe and I went to go see the sunset while Winnie showered. Although they are literally 20 (yes I feel like a great grandma), I am amazed at their maturity level and how it was so easy to connect with them. I was so blessed to hear that Chloe before she came to YWAM prayed earnestly for one of her roomies to be an American. I told her I prayed for diversity LOL, but perhaps it’s a different kind of diversity that God has in mind.

After seeing our first beautiful sunset, I showered (the water is still intermittent cold and hot) and we did our first load of laundry. Now we are working on our homework which is assigned for tomorrow. Wow this is the most I’ve written and I hope I can look back and remember such a wonderful day it was. We walked 17,327 steps. During quarantine it was 4,000 LOL. I will be sleeping well tonight :)

Prayer request

Tomorrow our homework requires us answering very vulnerable questions to our team. This will be emotionally taxing and as much as I am looking forward to it, I am also nervous. Please pray that God would hold our hearts as we share probably the most deepest thoughts and events to each other and that this vulnerability will be sealed in His name so that this would be the first step of healing.

Mahalo,

Alicia

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rhina988 · 7 years ago

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Replaceable

***Based on a true story***

His arm around my waist, pinning me closer to his body; the feeling of his warm breath on my neck; sensing him inhaling the aroma of my skin and hair, and relish in the moment, perfectly unaware of me being awake. I smile almost letting out a giggle, but I stop myself in time, not wanting to give away I’m actually observing his every touch, every inhale and sigh. Intuiting how much he actually craves my presence and needs me close, almost feels overwhelming. I just want to detach from his arms and start jumping on the bed, screaming to the world how much I love and yearn for him; but I can’t. I don’t even know where I am. The white-painted room, white sheets, carpets, furniture and the light breeze coming from the window, doesn’t seem like either of our homes. I’m confused and slightly shook. All I can do is breathe, slowly, silently, without making a move. I can’t even roll over, or blink or speak. Now I’m panicking, I’m scared I don’t know what to do. Everything is suddenly blurry, white, grey, windy and then calm, all of a sudden. I feel like I’m floating on air. The remanence of my bedroom start to slowly appear while I blink, feeling my hands were able to move and rub my eyes.

Yes, I’m awake now. No, he’s not lying next to me. He? Who was he anyway? I’ve never slept with anyone, let alone have a man wake up next to me.

Sad. Painful. Infuriating. Exasperating. Tormenting.

I’m experiencing a million different emotions day in and day out, and as the time goes by I interchange between numbness and being overly sensitive; some days are amazing, happy, bright and fulfilling, while others bring darkness, sadness, gloom and emptiness. Today is one of those other days. Being awakened from the bliss and love only to exist in a cruel reality where I’ll never be enough for anyone, makes this day miserable.

Getting out of the bed, I headed out to the kitchen to make some coffee, before dedicating to the bathroom morning ritual. I was standing by the counter in one of the white dress shirts I had found in this apartment when I moved in.

It was brand new, left in the wardrobe along with a couple of ties, socks and belts. Clearly, it was a man’s cave before a girly girl made it her sanctuary. I loved this little apartment of mine, and the day I moved in was one of the best in my life. Finally, away from my suffocating parents, I was able to enjoy some peace and quiet, while taking care of myself at last. I kept the dress shirt and occasionally slept in it, just to get a glimpse of the feeling. Amazing at one point, but so devastating at another. Becoming aware that this does not belong to my man, but some stranger just made me feel even more pathetic. Hello new day.

As I was waiting for the coffee to be done, I put away the clean mugs from the dishwasher, pondering over that dream, when the phone rang. My sister. She was two years younger than me, but incredibly wise, smart and kind girl, I loved more than my own life.

“Hey there sis, what’s up?” I asked mildly awake.

“Morning, I just wanted to see what you’ve been up to?”

“Nothing really, just making coffee,” I said with a sigh, “and going to work later. You?”

“You don’t sound so good? Is everything all right?”

“Um… yeah… of course, why wouldn’t it be,” I was a terrible liar early in the morning, and she saw right through me.

“No, you’re not. What is it?”

“It’s nothing. The usual. My mood swings and stuff. I’ll be fine,” I sighed like there was no tomorrow, finally having my coffee made.

“I’ll come over in an hour. You need me.”

“No… don’t…” I didn’t even finish my sentence, she hung up and left me irritated.

The truth was, I have always been extraordinary at hiding my emotions, and pretending everything was fine, when nothing was okay. I could fake a smile, I could force a laugh when I’d much rather burst into tears; I could even make others laugh when all I wanted was to disappear. But the last couple of weeks have taken its toll on me, and left me more scared and damaged than any other. I’ve lost my touch, and all the “acting skills” I thought I was mastering were suddenly vanished. After washing my face and refreshing for the new day, I got back to kitchen to get my beloved coffee. Just smelling it early in the morning made my day a bit brighter. Filling up the mug, I enjoyed the intoxicating aroma that awakened all my senses.

Knowing that my sister is about to barge into my apartment I decided to dress a bit more appropriately, and instead of wearing this comfy shirt I switched to grey t-shirt and shorts. I was working from home today, and comfort was all I was going for. Lifting my hair up, sipping the delicious brew and looking through my window at a foggy rainy day in the city, I couldn’t help but feel down. Rewinding the dream in my head, wondering why I was never enough made my eyes tear up. And it was only 8.30 in the morning. Some begging of the day.

No sooner had I taken the third sip, than my sister was taking her coat off and sat next to me on the couch. She hugged me, almost making me spill my precious infusion. Patting my back she sighed along with me, probably wishing she could take all my pain away.

“Talk,” she said decisively.

“There’s really nothing to talk about. You know I like to go through this on my own,” I said taking another sip.

“You’re not doing this again. You’re not shutting me out, when all you need is someone to talk to,” sitting up from the couch she headed to kitchen to take some coffee. I followed her, determined to change the subject and not talk about this.

“No, I don’t need anyone to talk to. I’m not like other people. I like to grieve and heal on my own. I hate to burden others with my torments, so I just overthink everything beyond reason and in the end I get at least 4 months of not so gloomy days,” shrugging my shoulders I sipped my coffee and looked deep inside the mug, wishing I could somehow drown my misery in it.

“See, that’s what I admire about you,” she smiled at me, pouring herself some coffee.

“What?” I looked at her confused.

“Your need to be so fierce. I bet nobody but me has ever seen that fragile and raw you. That beautiful girl who would rather shatter herself into pieces than let someone else get even a scratch on them.”

“Yeah, well, what can I say… I’m my own worst enemy. Just let it go OK? Don’t you have more important things to do?” now I was desperate. Pacing through the kitchen I finally sat down and hugged the mug, rubbing it with my thumbs.

My sister sat across me and placed her hand over my forearm, looking me deep into my eyes she said, “You don’t have to take this burden all by yourself. Just talk to me.”

Now I was getting mad. I hate when people push me to confide to them, when I hate showing my emotions. I got up and went to the counter, then walked back and forth just huffing and tangling my hair.

“I can’t OK,” tears ran across my face, making me sob in a second, “I’ve never been this hurt in my life. Even when I had thought B could actually love me, and let me finally pour all the love I’ve been carrying inside me, he fell in love with her and my entire world collapsed,” I sobbed and my sister’s face changed from consoling to lamenting in a heartbeat. “That was the time when I promised I’d never let my heart be broken like that again. I became this cold, defensive, and numb girl, that I never imagined I’d be. And all for what? A boy? No! I don’t want that, but I can’t help it.”

“OK, calm down, please…”

“No!” I shouted infuriated, wiping my tears off my face hopelessly, when they only kept rolling down my cheeks, “You wanted to listen. So, listen. After being in love with B for three years, loving him so distantly and quietly, I somehow finally managed to get over him. It felt so liberating and refreshing that I thought I must have been dreaming. I haven’t been, though. It was a reality more beautiful than any other. I stopped searching for that one person who’ll have my heart, because I realized nobody wanted to be that person. I was desperately wanting to be someone’s one and only. Somebody’s everything. But I never was. And I never will be. I know that now, and I’m fine with it.”

“You can’t think like that… you’re…”

“Don’t interrupt me,” I warned her lifting my finger and closing my eyes, taking a deep breath, “I can, and I do think like that,” stopping my tears from falling, I calmed my breathing and started to talk tranquilly. “You have your boy, all my friends have found their soulmate, and I’ve never been in that place. They say love happens when you least hope for it, and it’s not true. Well, it is partly true. It happens that your heart flutters, butterflies appear, you even get that glimpse of hope that you’ll actually gonna get to be happy for once. But that’s only a mock. With me, love was always one-sided. The moment I’d develop some greater feelings towards a boy, he’d find the love of his life. It’s a burden I’d have to live with for the rest of my life, and I’m fine with it. Call it a curse, a blight, or whatever – but I’ve accepted it. So, please stop reassuring me, and giving me the pep talk that we both know is pointless. ”

“That’s not the big sister I know and love. This is the first time I heard you talking like that. Where did that optimistic, cheery, perky, enthusiastic girl we all know and appreciate disappear?” my sister was baffled by my monologue, but that’s what you get for wanting me to pour my heart out.

“She was a fiction. A persona of mine that emerged only when you needed her. I’m not that person. This is me. The one not worth falling in love with; the one that is so easily replaceable that she doesn’t even get a ‘Goodbye, nice to have met you,’ from a guy, and let alone an explanation why he suddenly got bored of her.”

“Whoa… what are you talking about. Who replaced you?”

“He may have not replaced me, but he has certainly abandoned me.”

“Who?”

“You know who, the guy that I’d been seeing for almost 2 months, and I thought we were doing great and then just poof, he doesn’t text, call, or anything…”

“Did you call him?”

“Of course I did. He gave me this cold talk about crashing his phone, and not being able to fix it quickly, so he didn’t call. Then we barely texted for a week, and we couldn’t keep our phones down before. Every message was short, official, and cold. When he didn’t text for a couple of days I sent him a text again, and got the worst possible reply, I don’t even wanna talk about. And that was it. Later nothing. With one text that I had send just to test him, he replied two days later, and that was the last drop. I hadn’t texted him or called him again, and neither did he. It’s been 2 months since we’ve talked, and 3 weeks since we last texted. ”

“Oh sweetie, don’t get so hard on yourself. You are gorgeous and anyone would be so lucky to have you as their love,” my sister came to hug me, and I just pushed her away.

“I don’t need you to console me. And I am so sick and tired of that You are so beautiful because obviously I do not fall under anyones criteria. I know I have my friends and you, but sometimes I just wish for someone that’s just mine… and I’m not destined to have that. That guy is a jerk, and I’m forgettable, replaceable and not worth falling for. So, instead of dealing with love drama, I’m about to focus on my career, leave men aside, live a life devoid of passion, true love and grow old without a family.”

She didn’t know what else to say. Or maybe she just realized it’s better if she didn’t bother to talk. I was literally the most stubborn girl in the world, and she knew arguing with me is the last thing she should do. She only kissed my forehead and left. I was again alone with my thoughts.

Suddenly the apartment was suffocating me and I had to get out. I walked down the city, feeling the light autumn breeze on my face, and a few drops of rain falling on my cheeks from time to time.Thinking about everything, my heart ached, my chest hurt, my entire body was in pain. That devastating feeling when even your fingertips hurt, it’s been around for quite awhile and I hated it immensely. It always reminded me of how fragile I was and how nobody actually saw that side of me. I cried like a little baby, and luckily the rain began that same moment, washing over my tears, never showing they were actually present.

How was I so invisible to all of them? Why was everybody so happily in love, and I am not worth even a crush? How is possible that you connect with a person so much, that you feel like you’ve known each other forever, and that you can tell them anything and then they just shut you out? Leave. Disappear and act as if nothing ever happened with the two of you? I could never do such a thing, I guess that’s why it’s so bewildering to me.

Feeling so expandable and meaningless, made me roam the streets of the city for hours. Wrapped inside my own raging perplexed thoughts, listening to my favorite songs, the time seemed to have come to a stop. Music was always my best companion through any situation. Whether I was happy, sad, or lonely I could always depend on music to offer me comfort. After a couple of hours of just pacing through the hectic city, I’ve finally come to the favorite place in the city – the riverside. Somehow, that spot always helped me clear my thoughts, and most of my worries went down the river. Today was no different. As I was drowning my sorrow in music, I thought about everything, rethought all the situations I’ve been through, and questioned every single action of mine only to conclude one thing – everything happens for a reason.

It may not be the best conclusion, but it’s the right one. Maybe someday I’ll look back at this experience and thank God it gave me an opportunity to hurt so much. Probably not, because all I get from love life is…, well nothing…, but still. Listening to the river flowing, feeling the autumn wind in my hair, and just closing my eyes for a moment I was in another universe. That was my sanctuary. For a moment, I didn’t hear anything but the thumping of my own heart, followed by a slight cracking noise. I don’t know if anyone could relate to this, but I could actually hear my heart break.

Hours have passed and I knew I had to come back home and work, so I walked towards an apartment like a stray dog. Not looking around me, just wandering, but unlike a stray dog I was aware of where I should arrive. Striding down the streets I suddenly felt like I was all alone in the city. Even with hundreds of people passing by me, surrounding me from every side I still felt all alone. Terrible. That’s what happens when you’re accustomed to loneliness. You embrace it, so you can actually be alone at any given moment.

Walking up the stairs and approaching the front door of the building I dropped my keys. After I bent over to pick them up, I was faced with a gorgeous handsome guy. He smiled at me, and I smiled back. Handing me the keys over I thanked him and he said I shouldn’t mention it, it was nothing, still smiling and glancing at my lips. As I was about to utter another word I heard a female voice coming from behind him. His wife calling him, off course. No, this wasn’t a serendipitous encounter. Those happen only in chick flicks. In this cruel reality, every decent man was either married or gay. So there I was, approaching the apartment smiling to myself not believing that these situations still get to surprise me. All I’ve ever had was those types of events.

Tossing the keys on the table, and taking my coat off, I sat at my computer and began working. The day will go by faster after I swamp myself with errands and obligations. Life will past faster that way as well. Making each day fly by is the best way to forget about everything that’s tormenting you. Even though things get the worst at night, if you’re lucky you don’t get to many sleepless nights and dreams offer comfort. That is until you wake up and realize you’re not living the dream. Then you start going back in circles, doing your best to go through another lonely day.

You can read the story on Wattpad too

https://www.wattpad.com/457354201-replaceable

#story #true story #personal #emotions #feelings #lonely #sad #love #heartbroken #broken heart #broken #damaged #sadness #loneliness #thoughts

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itsclydebitches · 7 years ago

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Preacher Review: Mumbai Sky Tower

AKA “If you say Gandalf I’m gonna hit you.”

Two hours of

Preacher

in as many days. Will we ever again be so blessed?

We start right where we ended, with the Saint strolling menacingly through the street lights towards Jesse, his gun perfectly aimed. How in the world will our protagonist get out of this one? Why, with one of my favorite Preacher plot devices! Unlike a lot of other shows that rely on contrived resolutions (or worse: retcon their previous problem entirely), Preacher has set up this world’s abundance of coincidences right from the start of Season 1. Preacher highlights those strange, quirky, fateful moments where everything somehow just falls in your favor. This time it’s a poor guy driving an axle grease truck who gets in the line of the Saint’s bullet at the just the right second, thus saving Jesse. Adding fuel to this “OMG” fire, he swerves to hit the Saint dead-on.

As a side note, what a wonderful way to re-work Cass originally plowing into the Saint at full speed with his truck.

In case you missed it last night, the motel the trio is staying at is packed full of gun aficionados and they come out in force when they hear the crash—totting a full armory, of course. I love the one girly-girl in a pink robe with a freaking bazooka or some such to finish things off. I love the happy cry of “What can’t guns do!” And I love how the Saint literally just shrugs all those bullets off. Welp. Apparently guns can’t kill him. Noted.

We get another small, but important character moment as Jesse tries desperately to order the whole group to run. Even when it’s clear that there’s no escape, Cass has to drag him away and forcibly talk him out of rushing into the line of fire—“Son of a bitch is killing them all!” As I mentioned in the last review, Jesse has one hell of a body count accumulating behind him, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t still care about human life. If anything, at times he cares too much.

Then, as I’d hoped, we get the trio hearing about Annville. The actual drop of the info was wonderfully done—the realization that only one thing could consume Tulip while there’s a literal massacre going on outside, Jesse numbly sitting down beside her until the TV blows up—but beyond that… I was pretty disappointed. Preacher isn’t the type of show to overly dwell on loss, but at the same time we’ve seen the writers handle trauma extraordinarily well with these three, particularly through Tulip’s characteristic violence in response to the loss of her child. Now though we get a cliche ‘touching’ moment where she tells Jesse that despite throwing up and falling everywhere, she fondly remembers her uncle coming to her school because he wore a suit and tie just for her. This admission might have come across as more authentic if we’d seen more of Walter than just him passed out on the couch a few times, but as it is, that moment feels awfully forced. I would have much rather have had Jesse reminiscing about Emily (a character we had FAR more interaction with) and seeing Tulip’s conflicting thoughts on her rival/kinda friend being dead. Or have them theorize about whether Jesse might have actually saved Eugene by sending him to hell while still alive. There are a lot of possibilities here and though Jesse’s bomb drop proposal (another plot thread that could have been better) reads as both of them putting their grief in the wrong place, I feel like this moment was a seriously missed opportunity.

Nevertheless, there’s still a whole lot of good in this episode. We learn that the Saint is still (supposedly) immune to Genesis and that he’s actually using the entity to track down Jesse—two interesting plot points that could have big impacts later. We also learn that his reward for Genesis’ death is to see his family again. For those of you who haven’t read the comics: that shit is sad, just FYI. The Saint is one of my favorite characters and I can’t wait for you to get more of his backstory.

My biggest takeaway with the Saint this episode though is… why don’t you just steal a car??

You’d catch up with Jesse faster…

The ultimate best part of the hour though? FIORE, BABY. I have so much to say and no clear idea of how to actually say it. I just love him. He utterly ripped my heart out with that montage of suicide after suicide, made all the worse because we know that he knows that none of this is going to work. It was horrible to see Fiore, the one previously so enamored with human culture (I want a burger!) laying there passively while he has sex, or giving all his chips away to the woman afterwards. We get to see how his suicidal tendencies lead to his fame and fortune as the Great Ganesh and as the audience cheers at the abhorrent gore Fiore produces, I can’t help but see it as a reflection of us, watching and cheering on this damn show.

I could write you a whole essay on how much I love Fiore in eyeliner—and how much I also love the traditionally masculine characters (Jesse and to a lesser extent Cass) not mocking him for it. I loved how snarky Fiore was and how he knew how to manipulate Jesse. I adore the multiple scenes of Cass and Fiore bonding. Preacher: Breaking Bad Edition.

Honestly though, I was cackling through all of this because just imagine that I had written those scenes as a fic first. “Hey, friends! Here’s a canon-divergent AU where Fiore is super lonely before Cass comes to the rescue! They’ll take drugs, swap stories, play with giant beach balls, throw Frisbees, read Archie’s comics, play basketball, cuddle in blanket forts, and so much more! Warning though: teeth-rotting fluff ahead~”

It’s ridiculous, right? But we love it. And it

works

What I loved less was Fiore’s casual insistence that Genesis needed to die. Yes, DeBlanc was the more caring of the two, but it seems that Preacher has entirely dropped the idea of Genesis being a literal/figurative child to these two, which is a pity. And of course… Fiore’s death.

It’s really not looking good, is it? We had all hoped that DeBlanc would come back, somehow defying the ‘Saint’s guns always kill’ rule, but that really doesn’t seem to be the case now. I can completely understand the writers reasoning here—Fiore and DeBlanc are ultimately plot devices, needed only to inform Jesse (and us) about Genesis, and certainly they had no real role in the comics—but it’s still hard to say goodbye to two more fantastic characters. Despite my happiness that Jesse helped Fiore to “find peace,” I can only hope that there’s a place for them in future episodes.

Cass’ highlight was definitely alongside Fiore, but we get two nice, quiet moments with him as well. The first is when he’s questioning Fiore about his relationship with DeBlanc—

“You slept together?” “Of course, we’re best friends.”

—and you can see how much the love triangle drama is hurting him. (To say nothing of how my slash-loving heart wants to read those lines.) The second is, of course, when Jesse announces that he and Tulip are getting married. Even though they didn’t go through with it, Cass is left with no question regarding his place with Jesse and Tulip. In short, it’s not what he wants it to be.

And then there’s Tulip. With Annville and the Saint explained we need another ‘mystery’ in the background of the road trip. Here Tulip encounters Gary, is ordered to report to the mysterious Victor, and it’s crystal clear that some awful past is coming back to haunt her. I thought the fight was particularly well done. Given the amount of violence in Preacher, it’s rare for that violence to actually feel threatening, to have an impact beyond humor or just, “Oh yeah, another guy getting his guts blown up. Whatever.” Here though, by showing us a man twice Tulip’s size clutching her neck, dragging her around like a limp rag doll… that hit home. “Bitch, I’m gonna kill you.” That’s what the average woman is facing, and the scene was just long enough for that threat to hit home. It made Tulip’s eventual comeback all the more satisfying.

If all that weren’t enough, I have little doubt that Jesse’s, “Upstairs. With Tulip. Feels like something happened” will prove significant. After all, what would he expect to happen when his girlfriend is late to his wedding, calls it off, and his best friend is acting suspicious? The fact that Tulip and Cass actually have slept together and that’s another secret they’re keeping just makes things that much worse. As said, we’re inching towards a rift in the trio.

That’s not here yet though. For now it’s off to New Orleans, a place where Jesse hopes to find God, where Tulip obviously has history, and where Cass will no doubt find some good, old fashioned trouble.

Until then, friends!

Other Minor Things Worth Noting

What was up with the soda guy with the missing arm? Oddly enough, he felt out of place. Despite all of Preacher’s supernatural weirdness, it does adhere to most rules of reality, such as the fact that a person with a missing limb should be in excruciating pain and not, you know, walking around moaning about a Ginger Ale instead of a Root Beer. It just felt off.

Cass listing off possible explanations that include shit like the Terminator coming after them will never not be funny.

Jesse has apparently heard of the Saint before. I love this, because of course if these supernatural forces really existed they’d make their way into mythology and ghost stories, and of course a cowboy preacher like Jesse would know the story of the Saint.

There’s a literal blue spotlight as Fiore’s assistant tells Jesse of his woes. Ha.

Fiore and Jesse speaking to each other through the mirror while Jesse insists that they were “on the same side now” was a great, ironic touch.

Having Tulip and Jesse have so much sex is great (is it ever) but it also lets us see Jesse’s tattoo a great deal as well. His talk of family and last season’s “a mean old lady gave it to me” line are starting to come together.

I’m particularly fond of diegetic and non-diegetic sound used for gags and we get that twice in this episode: once when Fiore’s montage music segues into him attending a performance (where he then electrocutes himself), and once when Tulip yells at the wedding guys to cut it out with their music. Both moments were entertaining. Well done.

#Preacher #AMC Preacher #Mumbai Sky Tower #Preacher Review #mymetas

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