#girl knows her stuff and is VERY good at it

[7-deadly-cats]

killing me softly (part one)

pairing: rafe cameron x fem!introverted!kook!reader

cw: swearing, very indirect subtle mention of sexual activities (no actual scenes), mention of drug usage (no actual scene)

synopsys: it's the last year of high school and y/n is paired up with rafe cameron for a 2 week project in art class. this wouldn't be a problem if y/n wasn't awkward as hell and well ... if there wasn't her big fat crush on him.

word count: 2144

a/n: i haven't written this kind of stuff since like 8th grade (i recently graduated from university sooo yeah) but i kinda felt like it now and idk. there are so many smut involved fics on here (which isn't bad, i just need more softer slow burn stuff). not saying there won't be any smut in future parts hihihihi. also i have no clue how the american school system works (i'm from europe) so pls just accept this lol. and kelce's last name is statter bc apparently it was never mentioned in the show. anyway, this is for all my introverted and overthinking girlies (who may or may not be little freaks) <3

*****

Fuck my life.

That was the only thing on your mind as Mr. Smith announced the partners for the upcoming two-week art project. In pairs, you were supposed to create a reinterpretation of the Greek gods.

The assignment wasn’t the problem. In fact, it actually sounded kind of fun. But your partner? Yeah, that was the real issue.

Fucking Rafe Cameron.

Of all the people in this class, it had to be him. You didn’t even know why he'd chosen this class. Rafe was probably the last guy you’d expect to take an art elective—well, right after Kelce Statter.

He'd probably thought it was an easy class to boost his GPA. Rookie mistake.

Okay, whatever, it was just a small project. You could handle this.

NO, YOU COULDN’T, HOLY SHIT.

The thought of working with Rafe Cameron made your skin crawl. In all your years at Kildare Academy, you'd maybe exchanged two words with him—and that was only because he'd mistaken you for another girl.

"Y/N, right?" Rafe appeared at your desk at the end of class, a bored expression on his face.

Okay, okay, just act normal. Be nice. You nodded. "Yeah."

Rafe stared at you for a moment, like he was waiting for you to say more. His eyebrows furrowed slightly before he tilted his head. "Cool, okay. Let’s just meet up during lunch break and get this over with."

Did he seriously think you could finish a two-week project in one lunch break?

When he saw the look on your face, he raised his brows in amusement, his tone teasing. "What? You too busy?"

Your cheeks heated up as you shook your head. "No, lunch sounds good."

"Okay, then let’s meet after the fifth period." Before you could ask where you should meet him, he turned around and disappeared out of the classroom.

You frowned. This was off to a great start.

Just two weeks, you reminded yourself as you slung your bag over your shoulder and headed to math class.

On the way, you unlocked your phone to text your bestie Cara:

You shoved your phone away and tried to ignore the uneasiness creeping into your stomach.

You didn’t usually have trouble talking to guys but Rafe Cameron was a whole different story. Not because he was "too cool" or some dumb shit like that.

No, Rafe was just... intimidating. Not in that bad-boy, cringe Wattpad kind of way. It was something else, something you couldn’t quite put into words.

He wasn’t arrogant—he was proud. He was loud, but not in the annoying way Kelce Statton was. He wasn’t rude—he just said whatever the hell was on his mind.

He was just ... himself. And yet, somehow he wasn't. It felt like there was a lot more going on beneath the surface.

Maybe that was what made him so interesting to you. Sure, he had a nice face and a well-known name, no doubt about that. But more than anything, you wanted to know why he was the way he was.

Was he just a blunt person who didn’t give a fuck, or was there more to him than his looks and his last name?

So yeah, maybe a part of you was curious about him. But he had such an overwhelming presence, you wouldn’t even know where to start.

In the past, he'd had a few friends-with-benefits situations, but none of them had lasted long. And that was definitely a path you didn't want to go down. Under different circumstances, maybe you could but you've never even held hands with a guy, let alone kissed one or—yeah, no, not going there.

Okay, chill. Internally, you cursed Cara for fueling your delusions.

You had more important problems at right now anyway. Like math class with Mrs. Richman. And no one could claim you were a star student in that subject.

----

The lesson dragged on, your thoughts constantly drifting. After class, you were supposed to meet Rafe.

Rafe, who had PE right now.

Shit. You tried not to think about a sweaty, heavy-breathing, and—NOPE, NOT NOW.

"Okay, that’s it for today. Don’t forget about the math test next week. But for now, go enjoy the nice weather," Mrs. Richman announced, dismissing the class.

Your hands felt clammy as you got up to leave. What the fuck is wrong with me?

You headed to the restroom and washed your hands. Why were you so nervous about spending one lunch break with Rafe Cameron? Fuck you, social anxiety.

"Everything okay?" A soft voice pulled you from your thoughts. "You look kinda pale."

You turned to see the pretty face of Molly Crane. Red hair, cute freckles, and a super charming smile. She was one of the few Kooks (if any existed at all) who was genuinely nice.

You forced a smile. "Yeah, yeah, all good. I think I just ate something bad for breakfast."

Molly didn't look convinced. "You sure? You look like you’ve seen a ghost."

"Really, thanks, Molly. I’m fine now." With an awkward smile, you excused yourself and headed out—only to realize that, well… great, you and Rafe had never picked a meeting spot.

Brrrt.

Your phone had been buzzing since math class. Of course, it had been Cara.

You rolled your eyes with a smile and texted back.

Should you really wait in front of the gym? That felt weird af. But at the same time, you didn’t want to miss him and end up having an awkward conversation about it in the next art class.

The cafeteria would've been the most obvious meeting place, but would Rafe actually look for you there?

You pressed your lips together. Fuck it.

Heart pounding, you headed toward the gym.

Good thing your body totally knew how to distinguish between social interaction and actual danger.

When you arrived, you heard muffled voices of the boys inside, along with Coach Brown’s instructions.

Just breathe, it’s just one lunch break, you told yourself. Then again, this was probably how the next two weeks were going to feel.

You held your breath as the gym doors swung open, and a crowd of sweaty—oops wrong, freshly showered—boys streamed out.

You awkwardly stepped to the side, ignoring the curious glances thrown your way.

No sign of Rafe yet. A sick feeling settled in your stomach. Even worse than being here and having to explain HOW you knew that he would be here, would be explaining why you were standing there if he didn’t actually have PE right now.

But then relief washed over you when you spotted Kelce Statter and Topper Thornton. And right behind them—Rafe Cameron.

You tightened your grip on your bag. Okay, okay, I can do this. They’ll probably say bye to Rafe and leave for lunch now.

They didn’t. Great.

When Rafe saw you, something flickered in his gaze that you didn’t want to analyze. You expected him to just walk past you but instead, he headed straight toward you—with Kelce and Topper right behind him.

Just smile. No, not like that, you probably look like a creep. Oh god, okay.

"Hey," Rafe greeted you with a slightly puzzled smile as the three of them stopped in front of you. "I didn't expect you here."

In other words: Did you stalk me or how did you know I was here?

Kelce and Topper eyed you with amusement. This is so unbelievably embarrassing.

Blushing, you pointed at the gym bag slung over his shoulder. "Well, I saw you bringing a sports bag today, and PE is usually scheduled right before lunch ... so I just assumed you’d be here."

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Kelce stifling a laugh. You wanted to disappear from Earth, no from this universe. No way anyone would believe--

"Right," Rafe replied with a lopsided grin. "I would’ve just waited in the cafeteria."

So you had been right. And you could've saved yourself this painfully awkward moment. G-r-e-a-t.

"Good thinking though. The faster we get this project over with, the better."

Shit, did Rafe just compliment you? Then again, why did the last sentence sound like he didn't want to work with you?

You smiled awkwardly. "Exactly."

"You're Y/N Y/L/N, right? Your mom owns Y/L/N Yacht Sales." Topper’s voice cut in, and you were grateful for the topic change.

You nodded. "Yeah."

Was that admiration on Topper’s face?

"Ohh, a business Mommy, I like that", Kelce said, and both Topper and Rafe eyed him with shaking heads.

Topper blinked at him annoyed. "Bro, shut the fuck up for once."

Kelce just laughed.

"My dad bought a Grady-White from you guys recently," Rafe remarked, and your gaze flicked back to his blue eyes.

Jesus, he wasn’t just looking at you—he was staring into your soul. If he was always looking at girls like that you'd gladly be his friends-with-benefits-girl.

You prayed to whatever gods were listening that you didn’t blush. "I remember. A 456 Canyon."

The corner of Rafe’s mouth twitched up. "Yeah, a pretty model."

Your cheeks warmed, and either he didn’t notice, or he chose not to comment on it.

"Oh shit, that sounds like a boat party," Kelce chimed in with a grin and looked at you. "If I were you, I’d have thrown a dozen parties by now. So many possibilities…"

Rafe scoffed amused. "Good thing she isn’t, or her family would be broke by now."

You allowed yourself a small smirk.

„Hey, I’m just saying.“ Kelce raised his hands innocently.

Topper tapped him on the chest with the back of his hand. „Okay, dude, and I’m saying we’re leaving now before you say more stupid shit.“ Then he looked at you apologetically and turned his gaze to Rafe. „See you later.“

Rafe just gave him a short nod, his expression hard to read, before turning back to you with a tired smile as Kelce and Topper disappeared behind the gym. „So, you hungry?“

Why did this situation suddenly feel so… intimate? It wasn’t. Definitely not. There was absolutely no reason to feel weird about this. And yet—standing here alone with Rafe Cameron was… a lot. Maybe it was the way he looked at you—calm, focused, as if he was actually paying attention.

Or maybe it was the damn wet strands of hair falling into his forehead after his shower.

Get a grip.

You nodded quickly, trying not to overthink it. „The cafeteria has quinoa veggie bowls today. Or fries, if you’re not into influencer food.“

Oh God. Was that your attempt at being funny? Tragic.

Rafe’s lips twitched with amusement. „So, you’re assuming I don’t like quinoa bowls?“

Oh. Oh no.

Heat immediately rushed to your face, and you could feel your cheeks burning. Why the hell did you say that?

„No—I mean…“ You let out a nervous laugh, which sounded more like a weird cough. „Not that you wouldn’t like it, but you’re just more like—uh, not that I’m putting you in a box or anything, but you don’t seem like someone who… uh…“

Rafe raised an eyebrow, his smirk widening. „Someone who eats quinoa?“

You sighed. „Forget it. I’m just talking nonsense.“

„No, no, now I’m curious.“ His voice was amused, almost teasing. „How exactly do I seem?“

You swallowed. Shit.

„Uh…“ Your eyes flickered over him for a second—his broad shoulders, the damp strands of hair falling into his forehead, the fresh polo shirt fitting way too well against his body—oh God, wrong direction.

„I just meant…“ Maybe you should just stop talking and dig your own grave. You sighed and smiled awkwardly. „Okay, look, I'm sorry if you’re actually a secret quinoa veggie bowl advocate. I didn’t mean to sound condescending.“

Rafe laughed. Not in a mocking way—no, it was real, warm, which somehow made it worse because it only made you more nervous.

„No, no, I get it,“ he said, shrugging with an amused smile. „I guess I need to work out more if I’m giving off ‘fries guy’ vibes.“

Your eyes widened, and you quickly shook your head. „That’s not what—“

„Relax, I know what you meant.“ He cut you off, tilting his head toward the cafeteria. „Come on, you can keep judging me in there.“

I am the most embarrassing person alive, you thought, face still burning.

Still, you fell into step beside him, gripping the strap of your bag a little tighter. Brain, could you please shut the hell up? Thanks.

It didn’t.

Because why did Rafe’s presence feel so overwhelming—in the best way possible? And why did his ridiculously good aftershave still linger in the air between you, like some kind of cruel distraction?

And most importantly—how the hell were you supposed to survive two whole weeks of this?

[omegastation]

Here comes my review (mostly writing & lore) of the Mass Effect Official Cocktail Book. I also included a list of all characters named with all page numbers related to their mentions.

I’m including this for our Andromeda Appreciation Week because the last part of the book is Andromeda-related :)

Introduction:

Cassandra Reeder is the recipe developer and Jim Festante is the writer.

The book is written by two writers in-universe. The first one is an asari calling herself “Ambree T’Sia” who is a lot like Gossip Girl (“you won’t guess and I’ll never tell” is an actual line in the book). We have to guess her identity but she doesn’t mind spreading a lot of stories about people and their drinks. 

The second writer is an angara called Roa who decided to add recipes to T’Sia’s existing ones, but more adapted to the Andromeda Galaxy. Roa dreams of a better world for everyone. He’s friend with Dutch and Anan from the Vortex.

Each writer presents drinks based on locations: bars and spots in the two galaxies. There also some snacks recipes as well.

Review: 

It’s hard for me to say anything about the recipes, though I will say it seems like there are different ingredients so a bit of everything for everyone. The difficulty can be adjusted: I thought some drinks looked really complicated to make (and some use other drinks in the books as base), but if you want to do a simple cocktail/mocktail, there are at least 10 good options.

Some recipes are directly named after characters or inspired by characters, so it might be fun to try some based on your favs. 

One drink seems weird to me, and that’s the N7 Shooter (mostly because of the mix of ingredients). If you try it, tell me what you think. 

Regarding American measurement: if you want to be precise, I would wait for a translation. Otherwise, I would get a cup and google some stuff before making it.

The drinks I'll try at some point, in a mocktail version only:

Tuchanka Sunset - 22

Perfection - 54

Tupari Blast - 61

Denorian Beer Granita - 64

Tequila Se’lai - 70

Shadowbrokertini - 74

The Mindfish - 83

Calibration Cooler - 95

Pink Marble - 130

Marljeh - 142

Kadara Sunrise - 143

So that’s pretty much it for the food & drinks, sorry!

My review is more about the lore and the writing.

I found the witty tone enjoyable. I like that there’s a distinction between how T’Sia writes and how Roa writes at the end of the book. T’Sia gossips a lot but there’s no malice. Roa is very earnest and seems quite adorable to me.

You’ll see I wrote down all the characters named and the pages, sometimes it says something about the writer, sometimes not.  A good example: Samantha is mentioned 5 times by T’Sia. She finds her charming and young, and mostly links her to drinks and other people (a full EDI/Traynor-like drink is in there). Meanwhile, Drack is mentioned 4 times, Vetra 3 times, but Roa has an entire page about how fascinated he is by Vetra.

Regarding what we learn, lore-wise: not a whole lot. It mostly plays on what we already know. 

What we do learn has to do with some characters. Without being too spoilery, it’s very light and fun for the most part - like Joker and Steve having a challenge, Vega seducing T’Sia, characters loving specific drinks (like Traynor), etc. Some characters (like Kaidan and Miranda) are sharing their woes or backstory. Roa, in the later part of the book, talks a lot about Dutch and their meeting is very very cute.

My favorite anecdote is that Liam’s movie night spreads to the Nexus and becomes a tradition :)

Some characters are very absent while others are more present. I would say it’s logical in a way, but it’s one thing to be aware of. If you’re a fan of Jaal, there are no mentions in the book. Though, like I said, a mention doesn’t always mean a lot: Peebee is mentioned once but we learn nothing new.  I also found it a bit sad that Ashley is not in the book. Obviously, I’m happy to have Kaidan there, but Ashley would have been a wonderful character for fun anecdotes here.

Characters named and pages:

Note: if you find that I forgot a mention, drop me a DM. I’ll add the page and/or character!

Joker - 12, 98

Sel Vass - 14

Solem Dal’serah - 21

Karin Chakwas - 25

Padok Wiks and and Urp - 26

Wrex - 26, 65, 106

Aria - 19, 27

Oleg Petrovsky - 27

James Vega -29, 46, 112

Shepard - 33, 30, 41, 93

Garrus - 37, 38, 95

Samantha - 42, 43, 73, 97, 106

Kaidan - 49, 106, 116

Miranda - 54

Kasumi - 55

Doran - 59, 60, 61

Grunt - 66

Fist - 69

Anderson - 71

Elijah Khan - 81, 88

Emily Wong - 93

Jack - 94

EDI - 97, 106, 

Steve - 98, 120

Tali - 101

Aethyta - 51, 57, 106

Dutch smith - 123, 126, 127, 131, 156

Anan T’Mari - 123, 127, 131, 156

Ryder - 123, 128, 133, 135

Drack - 133, 134, 137, 152

Umi Henon - 133, 134, 135, 138

Vetra - 137, 144, 154

Peebee - 137

Sloane - 138

Lexi - 138

Khan Dagher - 141, 143, 147

Kesh - 150

Suvi - 154

Buxil - 156

Niilj - 156

[real-team-luster]

// first of all yippee thanks for tagging me! so so flattered that people enjoy my blog and character. anyhoo i wanna get on in this, so here's my list of favorites (in no particular order, and if i forget you don't take it personally! i love basically everyone i've interacted with on here, you're all so nice)

@harteofthehart-ayyy - maybe this is cheating because i just reblogged from you but who give a fuck. harte is just hilarious i love him

@pandorias-box - always love seeing updates from her! i wish we could interact more often but unfortunately darrin straight up does not believe in ultra beasts. which makes things mildly awkward. regardless i love the naganedel lady and hope she escapes the torment nexus soon <3

@rocketryu - i hope that tagged you because tumblr is being a jerk rn. either way huge fan of when characters are funny haha to hide their insecurities, and the continued gem-eating debate will never not get a smile outta me

@skitter-smack - BURGUNDY! Xe are basically my comfort Rotomblr character at this point, I love the subtle blend of chaos and genuinely emotional arcs. Also, huge fan of how he seems to actually like Darrin, that's (understandably) rare

@two-cats-and-a-balloon - Mira my beloved who has suffered so much. Kind of the opposite thing to Burgundy, I appreciate that she smelled his bullshit right out the gate and isn't about to back down just because he's kind of nice sometimes. Hell yeah get his old ass girl!

@pokedragontamer - We haven't interacted much recently which is totally on me, IRL stuff and then I did the blog takeover and yknow how it is. Regardless I always love evil scientists, especially when they're not quote enquote evil

Joint entry for all the Redux blogs, not gonna name them all but you guys know who you are! It's amazing how fast I got engaged in this plotline, and still waiting for an opportunity to have things settle down a bit so Darrin can properly introduce himself /silly /nm

@thatoneklefkitrainer - Ryak activates my adoption instincts for some reason, which is funky considering he's older than me in character. But I do not control the brain chemicals. I love this guy and how he defies usual expectations about Steel-type Trainers. Also maybe the only Galarian who Darrin has ever interacted positively with /hj

@j0nathand0e - Ghost boy! Man if I had a nickel for every blog I frequently interacted with who was like half Darrin's age... in all seriousness I love Johnny and Doe more than life (death?) itself and wish them both a very good life/afterlife.

@rotomblr-island - You could argue this one doesn't count as it's in character, but it's my list and I get to make the rules. This blog introduced me to a ton of new characters, and it's just fun to check in and see what wacky hijinks everyone's been up to. Also, Heartbreaker Paris remains my favorite contribution to this community

// what if we all tagged our favorite blogs and went to check eachother's favorite blogs out as a result of tagging our favorite blogs. what then

[blorbogirl]

TPTM BLORBO #5: THAT GIRL

'nother girl fresh off the press

this is nicole from class of 09, requested by anonymous!

i was really into class of 09 for a while and though i stepped away for a bit around when flipside dropped i still like it a bit. so this was fun! oh and nurse bnuny first girl ww

tw/cw for: suicide, mentions of drugs, general themes of hopelessness

it was suprisingly difficult to settle on a theme for her since co09 has quite a few things going on and i had a few different drafts before i settled on this one. my idea is that it would take place around when the flipside would (but the flipside is NOT canon to it!!! i would never do that to y'all.), so everyone's graduated high school and is preparing to go to college and stuff. in this world i think jecka's dad/parents (unclear whether they're divorced here or not and that's intentional-- i wanted to make nicole seem kind of "insular" in her mental state, for lack of a better word, so she doesn't know.) are making her try when previously she wouldn't have, so nicole feels very... on her own. she doesn't have any other connections, she doesn't have anything that really truly makes her happy, and she most certainly doesn't have any goals for the future. it was inspired by my memory of a few different scenes/endings in the games but not really any particular one. it would be cheap to just take one of her monologues from one of the endings and use it as the journal entry so i. didn't do that. but okay yeah here's the carrds and eval

I FUCKED UP THE FORMATTING OF THE EVAL AND NOW EVERYTHING'S OFF BUT IT TOOK ME TOO LONG TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET THE IMAGE GOOD TO WANNA BOTHER FIXING IT NOW SORRY AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME

[thatsmzbitchtoyou]

Marriage Problems Chapter 2

Summary: They’ve been married for 19 years, their 20th anniversary coming up soon.  Older, busier, and stuck on the repeat of their daily lives, Y/N and Bucky are struggling.  Their marriage is good, but feeling rocky the last few years as they’ve settled into this stage of their lives.  Can they get their spark back?  Or is it better to do the unthinkable, and move on without each other?

Warnings:  language, forced kiss, eventual smut

Previous chapter Next chapter

Bucky rushed home after work that day.  The presentation had gone well, securing his bonus, but had run over the time he’d originally planned.  He had texted Y/N, but never got a response.  He got home as fast as he could, walking into the kitchen to find it empty.  Fuck, missed dinner, he thought, chastising himself as he unloaded his things and cleaned them.  He walked toward the sound of the kids’ voices in the front room.  They were all spread out on the floor doing homework, spouting off endless questions to Y/N, who was trying her best to help them while also mediating between Winnie and Becca, which seemed like a constant these days.

“Mama she won’t stop brushing her eraser shavings on my paper!” Winnie whined, trying to shove the eraser bits back toward Becca.

“Oh my god, you’re so annoying,” Becca whined back.  “Not everything I do is to spite you.  Maybe if you wouldn’t sit so close to me they wouldn’t land on your stuff!”

“Guys, please,” Y/N sighed, rubbing her eyes.

“Hello my loves,” Bucky called out, trying to distract them.

The kids all looked up at him with smiles on their faces, quickly getting up and giving him hugs and greetings before sitting back down.  Bucky moved over and around them to Y/N, kneeling down next to her.  She gave him a small smile in greeting.  “How did your presentation go?” she asked quietly.

“We got it,” he replied, smiling at her.  

“Congratulations,” Y/N’s smile widened.

It was one of the few real smiles he’d gotten from her in a while, and it made his heart soar.  Before he could say anything else the girls were bickering again, and James started firing off questions.

“Quit with the eraser!  Geez, do you just not get it so you keep having to restart?  How stupid can you be?”

“Mama, did you sign that form for the field trip yet?”

“I’m not the stupid one, you are!”

“Nuh-uh!”

“And I have that bake sale coming up, did you sign up for cupcakes?  Or muffins?  Your cookies last year were good.  Oh and my soccer uniform is all grassy, did you wash it yet?”

Y/N shut her eyes tight, trying to breath through the mounting noise.

“Guys,” Bucky said in a warning tone.

“Dad she’s being so annoying.  Why can’t you just leave me alone?  This is why you don’t have any friends.”

“I have plenty of friends.  You wouldn’t know anything about that because all the friends you have are just guys trying to date you.  How does it feel knowing that they don’t actually care about you, just what they can get from you?”

“At least I can get a date.”

“Mama, what does she mean what they can get from her?”

“OH MY GOD SHUT UP!” Y/N screamed, standing up fast and pushing away from them all, covering her ears.  “SHUT UP!  ALL OF YOU!  JESUS CHRIST!”  They all froze, staring at her in shock.  “No, James, I haven’t done any of that yet.  It will get done eventually.  As for you two,” she pointed at the girls.  “I know you’re both in a very weird stage of teen years right now, but if I hear one more mean thing said between the two of you I will ground you both for the rest of the school year, do you hear me?”  They both nodded quickly.  “I cannot stand this anymore.  This constant bickering, the noise, the incessant leaning on me for every little thing.  I’m so sick of the same thing day in and day out!  I’m done!”

Bucky stared at her in shock.  She had yelled at the kids before during rough moments, but this was different.  Y/N looked at them all with a deep look of disgust.  “I love you all very much.  But this is absolutely ridiculous, and I will not put up with it anymore.  I deserve better than this endless, repetitive, tedious bullshit!  Don’t I?”  Bucky stood up and walked over to her.  She had started crying as she spoke, and as he cupped her face in his hands she looked up at him, her eyes pleading and exhausted.  “Don’t I?” she cried.

“Yes, you do,” Bucky whispered, nodding as he leaned down and pressed his forehead against her forehead.  “Just breathe, pretty mama.  Breathe.”

Y/N sputtered, her hands in fists at her sides as she closed her eyes.  She let herself relax against him for a moment, but just as suddenly as it started she shook her head again and pulled out of his grasp, sniffing hard.  “I…I’m fine, I just–” she glanced at them all, her face twisting into a look of horror.  “I’m sorry,” she gasped, then turned and ran up the stairs.

Bucky watched her run, sighing when he heard their bedroom door shut loudly.  He turned to look at the kids, each of them with a look of shock and sadness on their faces.  “It’s gonna be okay, guys,” he said quietly, sitting down on the floor with them again.  “Mama just needs some time.  But she’s right,” he said, looking down at his hands then at Becca.  “Becca, if what Winnie’s saying is true, you need to find better friends.  Boys, especially at this age, aren’t worth it.”  She frowned and looked down.  “Winnie, you need to let Becca have her time away from you.  Just because you’re both close in age and go to the same school doesn’t mean you’re both the same.  She is her own person, and you are your own person.  Does that make sense?”  Winnie’s lips tightened, but she nodded.  “James, I know you mean well, but asking a lot of questions all at once is very overwhelming for Mama, and as much as she is willing to help you, she needs a breather just like everyone else.  Got it?”  James nodded sadly.  “As for all three of you, you’re old enough now, and your mom and I have taught you enough by now, to be able to handle yourselves more.  That means from now on you’re responsible for knowing your schedules, taking care of yourselves with your personal hygiene, cleaning up after yourselves, and as of now you’ll be responsible for getting your lunches for school ready, preparing your own breakfasts, and making sure you’re out the door on time for the bus.  Also, laundry,” he said, glancing at James for emphasis.  “Your clothes, your problem.  Do you all understand?”

They all nodded solemnly.  “Good.  We are going to have to work together to take the brunt of the work off of Mama.  She’s done too much for all of us for too long.  Which makes her an amazing mother and wife–” he stopped, nearly getting choked up on his words, before quickly clearing his throat.  “But it’s too much for just one person to handle.  We are a family, and family loves and supports each other, right?”  They all nodded again.  “Okay.  Are you all done with your homework enough for tomorrow?”  

“Yes,” they all said in unison.

“Great.  Then go get ready for bed,” Bucky said.  “Good night, my spawn.”

They all giggled and gave him goodnight farewells and hugs, gathering their things and putting them away before trudging up the stairs to get ready for bed.  Bucky sighed as he stood up again, stretching before looking around the main floor of the house.  It was mostly pretty clean, so he got to work cleaning up the last few little messes and things he could see that needed to be done, then ate the leftovers from dinner.  

When he was finished the kids had all settled down in bed, and he tucked them each in before heading to his bedroom.  Bucky hesitated at the door, unsure of how to broach what had happened.  He knocked lightly, waiting to hear anything, but after a moment of silence he slowly opened the door.  He peered in and found Y/N already in bed, her soft snores the only sound in the room.  Bucky walked in and closed the door quietly, walking over to her side of the bed and kneeling down.  She was already in her pajamas, and judging from her makeup free face and the puffiness of her eyes, she had cried as she got ready for bed and up until she fell asleep.  Bucky’s heart broke for her.  He and the kids had been leaning on her for everything for so long.  They had taken advantage of her.  She had been suffering silently because she felt like she could only depend on herself to get things done.  He reached up and gently wiped away the last bits of tears that were still wet on her face, then leaned forward and kissed her nose.  “I’m so sorry, pretty mama,” he whispered, nuzzling her cheek with his nose.  “We’ll talk about it tomorrow.  I love you.”  

Y/N squirmed a little in her sleep at his touch, but didn’t wake, letting out a short hum as she readjusted herself.  Bucky smiled at her, fixing the blanket around her and tucking her in before getting ready for bed.

@cjand10 @sebastians-love @sherwoodforesttales @shanksstrawhat

[supahstarrr]

Thoughts on Watari Nishino's student spotlight

Warning: there will be discussions of misogyny here & mentions of abuse.

i am so satisfied that Watari Nishino has finally got her student interview. it's so satisfying that her character is allowed to be shown outside of being in The Supportive role or Comedic relief. i also have an opportunity to share some of my thoughts that i left out of my previous ramble post about her, and to reaffirm some of my thoughts I've expressed already!

i will try to organize my thoughts, you know like how those really good tumblr fanganronpa analyzers do? organize with titles, screenshots and all that? this post will still be sloppy though... i'm not fancy with words. And this is (mostly) not an analysis post... I am just very passionate about Watari.

before all, i want to touch on the vocal performance of the VA. the amounts of energy and character that was oozed out... I was stunned!!! and the voice becoming low and breaking at some points was so heartbreaking to hear; the performance expressed her "strength" that was constantly on the verge of breaking down during this interview. the voice having edge to it at some points—the underlying resentment and longing was so overbearing.

Watari's opinion on marriage

Honestly, there's so much stuff going on. I could screenshot everything about what the hell she was yapping about but that's a lot of work.

one of the first thoughts about marriage is how she wants to be the wife of Hayashi, to serve her and care for her! its funny and sweet. but then she remembers about the social dynamics she has put up with all her life, how she has always been a victim of them and witness of them... yikes. its fucked up she she likes the idea to serve people she care or love about as a way to express love, but to some extent, it's a reminder of common dynamics in marriage between men and women that are "expected" as they are an extension of oppressive social dynamics.

it's pretty sad how her perception of marriage and being a wife is so tainted by the previously prominent one in her life. like it is the common occurrence for patriarchal roles to be ingrained in marriages, and it's likely her parent's marriage reflected that toxic normalcy. there is so much disdain and resentment through comments on the "role" as a husband and "role" as a wife as a trauma response.

particularly, she largely associates being a wife with physically and mentally serving the husband and in the process to carry more burden, while the husband is allowed to be more independent outside of serving for someone and be acknowledged as human as he is more allowed to express his emotion (ex: through complaints). despite the disdain about the oppressive position the general husband holds over his wife, she finds some comfort in the role as the husband is allowed to express his humanity and have some independence. this is disdain is personal; its not only just rooted from her oppression in society as a girl, but also the marriage she witnessed.

I think there could also be the possibility that she sees herself as a "Wife". Not even just because of the expectations tied to her gender, but because of the current she has in the family, as the "wife" who must serve the family. Although there is some differences between the wife and her role in the family, the sentiment is that she is expected to serve at the expense of her humanity. Which adds more layers to the commentary on the marriage and her tendencies to put herself in leader positions where she's able to have fun with it (despite doing that having some complications).

Also very specifically this line gave me a mental pause.

What the hell? Suspicious... as i interpret there being an underlying personal tone (not just regarding to her position in society as a girl, but also towards the previous marriage) to the way she speaks about husbands, this... makes me very concerned! concerned! the nature of her previous parent's marriage has always gave me curiosity and concern. and this points to it being more personal as monomoko says it feels they have "strayed away" from the intentions of the question. yeah this is definitely personal.

i've always wondered whether or not the marriage was mutually toxic or abusive. and if there was abuse, i wonder about the extent of the abuse the children faced and/or if they were mostly stuck as the role of the witness of a parent's abuse. i've wondered if they were emotionally neglected while being a witness to physical, verbal and/or other kinds of abuse. now this gives me more questions. was alcoholism involved??? her father was an alcoholic possibly... and i wonder how it affected everyone in the family. good grief so much layers to this!!

and what gets me is that she does reach out to her father sometimes... despite all...? having mommy and daddy issues at once is dangerous.

to give a wonderful, but relatable, end to the topic of marriage... she says this.

this was yet another interesting thing she said regarding to marriage considering her lack of genuine attraction to men. though this is a funny remark she says loosely, this really gives more layers to the way she treats her "attraction" towards men. it's very interesting that particularly speaks about her "attraction" in this context of speaking about marriage and the common roles in them which stem from misogyny, while in earlier videos where she expresses this "attraction" is typically in the context of men serving for her. she plays with a "romantic attraction" about men as a way to reclaim the oppressive position men and oppressive societal expectations which hold over her.

through this play she plays with expectations attached to her gender—the expectation that girls & women must be romantically attracted to men and it must lead to the "inherent" desire to serve them, and that women must be committed and follow "rules" regarding to their attraction. since this immediate perception of how "all girls and women" experience, express or act on their expression has roots in misogyny. when she plays with a "romantic attraction" or "romantic interest" towards men, she gets to decide how and when she wants to be served or be leader whenever she wants to without commitment to those "feelings" that she cannot genuinely feel.

this disillusion with society's expectations and "rules" regarding to girls' and women's romantic interests encourages her to be very loud when expressing her genuine romantic and sexual attraction towards hayashi—though at the expense of hayashi's thoughts on that—as this expression actively breaks the expectation that she must express her desires quietly and how her attraction towards women is supposedly "false" or "less serious". thus, she gets to have a sense of control on those expectations forced onto her.

Watari's family

there was a thought i had about her role in the family, which i left out of my previous post about her as i didn't know where to put it. thanks to the interview, i have an opportunity to share this. i had the thought that her "leadership" role in the family was influenced by misogynistic standards in society. pushing girls into the adult caretaker role plus the lack of concern towards the emotional weight girls & women get from being forced into those positions are expressions of misogyny, which led me to that idea.

this idea i've had has definitely been hinted now shown by how she says her mother never had expectations for her older brother yet had them for her despite previously being the youngest in the family. which is likely the case due to misogyny her mother has internalized. not to be "overzealous" about the this misogyny talk, but there's a chance her brother holds these misogynistic beliefs as well.

and the way that watari is so particularly attentive to raising her sister because she knows that her sister will be pushed to become the next "sibling mom" due to this misogyny being ingrained in the family (not just shown by why she has the "leadership" role but also [likely] the previous marriage) despite the older brother still being around... just gave me a heartache. the kinship between the sisters due to their girlhood... ughhh my god its so bittersweet. there's an extra layer to this i feel. her feeling so obliged to break the cycle through parenting her sister is so reminiscent of how she broke the marriage. back then she tried to break the cycle of the pain that was so ingrained in the marriage; and she did! and now she feels obliged to break another cycle.

The curious case of Watari's mother

Later on in the interview, Watari comments about having a lot of siblings. She has get grievances about this as she knows she will have to step up to take care of them. This comment and grief reminds me of this earlier comment she made:

I wonder if this commentary on being a wife also refers to her mother—I mean this bit on what "it means" to be a husband and wife is very personal for her enough, especially when it comes how she speaks about The Husband role.

There are questions about my idea which is just a very loose theory. I'm unsure about the timeline stuff. But two or three children can already be close to "too much" depending on the culture, then expecting yet another third or fourth child can be considered definitely "too much". so regardless of how many children existed during the marriage and divorce, this could still refer to her mother when she was a wife.

If this is talking about her mother, this gives some interesting context to her. Although she most definitely do not "clean stuff all day" in present times as told about her constant neglectful character, perhaps she did back then. And so when she's divorced... she just.... don't clean anymore? I wonder if her mother is depressed and/or have negative feelings about parenthood as a result of the divorce, which could motivate her to be neglectful in various of ways. and these feelings doesnt have to just be a result of the divorce—they could already be lingering during the marriage, but increased because there's suddenly "no reason" to disregard them for the sake of holding a marriage that isn't there anymore.

this interests me as in Watari's text file, she attempts to reassure her siblings that her mother still loves the family. i would say its not not even just for the sake of comforting her siblings but also for the sake of her comfort, especially as Watari do genuinely hold some love towards her mother. I feel there's a possibility that her mother has shown genuine care and investment to the family before (like through cleaning as that act can be revealing of some care), at least during the marriage, and so she believes her mother has the potential to still be loving and caring to the family.

additional thoughts

the disillusion with societal standards and expectations towards women & girls as they're an extension of systematic misogyny is so heavily tied to watari's character that it hurts! hurts in the "i understand" way as a girl (kind of) myself. her character is so important. her character hits home as unfortunately in black communities, adultification of black girls is an unfortunate common occurrence. though unsure if the creator took consideration of this, or of misogynoir in general, in watari's story & character.

this really ties nicely to the topic of reclamation being connected to her character, which I've now realized is apart of her character even more than I thought. this interview was *really* great to me. It introduced more questions, introduced more ideas to her character, and more context. This interview felt longer than some other student interviews, which is delicious to me as someone who desperately wishes for more Watari-focused content.

This interview support my claims about her taking on "leadership" role as headmaster as a way to reclaim the leadership roles she has in her life, particularly her role in her family. its fucked that the one time she gets to have fun with being a leader... it's soured. it's fucked that the cases she's tried to be selfish by tending to her comfort and fun, some shit happens. its fucked.

"i don't want to be sad all the time"... "i just want to be a normal child for once!" and many more lines are just so revealing of her constant state of grief. Her longing. Resentment. She is so tragic to me. Sigh. I hope that soon, she will be comforted and the one who is reached out to. I hope her grief will be acknowledged by others more.

This was a lot of typing and editing, and im sure ill have to edit later. Maybe i could expand on some things, but i wanted this to specifically be about Watari Nishino, her character, and her background. Not just her character relating to other characters. Byebye :) this took hours and I need to sleep. i hope things were worded nicely and tastefully. i also tried not to be repetitive.

[lukeynewtssimp]

When Nic is out and about with her bf all I see from Lukolas is pure hate and disdain for them both. It’s only now that the man brought out his gf that suddenly everyone is okay with it. Does that seem like equal treatment to you? Where was your defense before this?

You’re happy and proud of him for finally claiming her but where is the happiness for Nic? I’m still talking about Lukolas in general.

Do you not see the people saying he’s finally with someone well matched with him? And when people said the same hateful things after premiere night because of that stunt where was the support for Nic? You think his choices didn’t affect her, whether it was intentional or not?

This side of the fandom is extremely male-centered and you just don’t want to admit it. I am still very much hoping to be proved wrong in the future.

Wow okay there is a lot to unpack here.

Let me start by saying that my blog is very new. I only started posting like a month or so ago so excuse me for my lack of defence back when Nic apparently “needed” it.

Neither of them “need” anybody to defend them lol. We don’t get brownie points for proving we are their number one fan. They literally have no fucking clue who I am and don’t care to find out either. I just use my platform to express my love for the people I am a fan of and the things I am passionate about and to express my frustration at things and behaviours that annoy me. That’s the point of having a personal blog.

idk how to make it any clearer. Like it’s literally in my username, yea I am a fan of Nicola too but I’m a bigger fan of Luke. We all have our faves so I don’t get why you’re so angry that Luke is mine.

Yes I see the very small number of people making comments like that about Antonia looking good next to Luke or whatever. I choose to ignore it because I have seen a very small number of these comments and me talking about it would only amplify these pathetic people’s voices. I obviously do not agree with this take. It is rooted in fatphobia and those people can say whatever they want but they do not speak for Luke or Nic.

Nic is not some self conscious young girl waiting for a man to notice how beautiful she is. The fact that you think Luke’s decisions about who he’s dating affected her, then you’re the problem. You’re the one painting Nicola as this desperate girl crying for attention. Nic is a confident and very sexy woman and she fucking owns it and knows it. She literally ruled 2024 and has gained so much popularity last year as she deserves. And you know what? Luke knows it too and that man, unlike what you and other people think, is not and was never ashamed to show that he’s attracted to her and finds her beautiful and sexy and smart and talented. He’s not the most talkative when it comes to that stuff, that man literally blushes at everything. But his actions speak louder than his words. Just because he is dating a woman who doesn’t look like Nic does not mean he does not find Nic attractive and it also does not mean he rejected Nic by doing so.

As @jenhack beautifully put in the comments: Nic is not bothered! She is busy talking to other SAG nominees and being lauded by her peers. She does not need to, or have to be defined by any man she is connected with.

Crazy Lukolas do not only hate on Jake and Nic but they also hate on Luke and Antonia. Have you seen all the nasty stuff they have called this poor girl?

Sorry this has been very long but I just need everybody to stop projecting their hurt feelings and traumas on Nicola and Luke PLEASE!

PS: the “you” is not just aimed at you specifically anon, but everybody who agrees with that discourse of Luke hurting Nic by dating another woman and taking her to the premieres that I am tired of hearing about. And let’s not forget Nic took Jake to that premiere too…

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

medialog august-december 2k24

i was like, should i just abandon this and start fresh in 2025... but no. also i'm putting this behind a cut bc it is long but it's shorter than it sounds bc LOL working 7 days a week is not conducive towards having the brain space to interact with a bunch of new art!!

watched

ponyo - THIS IS THE CUTEST MOVIE IN THE WORLD!!! miyazaki/ghibli is a big blind spot for me bc as a kid i was like "but i want anime to be pretty, like sailor moon..." so i never got into kiki or totoro (very stupid but again i was: A Child) and then as an adult, this is embarrassing, i tried to watch spirited away and just literally didn't get it. i was like, i am so confused about what is happening and what emotions i am supposed to be feelings. and i know that spirited away is a movie for children and this makes me stupid. but i have never pretended not to be stupid. anyway i would die for just about every character in this movie and when i watched it a second time to make nick watch it i was so full of tenderness for how lovingly it captures what it's like to be a small child who has a small creature to take care of that i felt like i could explode!

deadpool & wolverine - i think if i had been in a better mood when i saw this movie i would have disliked it more but as it was i was in a HORRENDOUS mood and, basically, had a good time. funny to watch this, the Superhero Movies Isabel Has Never Watched Cameo Show (literally i had never watched an x-men other than first class, in which wolverine only appears to say fuck off, or either of the two deadpools), and still get to experience the same OMG IT'S HIM rush as everyone else did, but for matthew mcfadyen. the guy next to me was like "i love channing tatum" when channing tatum showed up and like, same.

trap - great movie to see with a group of like 10 people with whom to giggle the whole time. josh hartnett understood the assignment and his dad-vibe era is soooo much hotter to me than his twink years ever were (not always the case for me! but between this and how hot he was in oppenheimer i've really warmed to him...). i think it's nice that m. night shyamalan loves his daughter so much. ladyraven has a ballad with the line "faustian trade-offs" which caused me and no one else in the theater to laugh real loud. her music is pretty bad but tbh in an era when people want to put chappell roan on the A-list i'm not even mad. it was funny trying to figure out her niche though because like the vibes are obviously supposed to be taylorish (the cabin onstage... lmao) but the music was giving... idk, ariana? also it's just inherently funny to make a movie premised on the fact that it would be really easy to narrow down who the serial killer is by identifying the adult men at a pop girl concert + this movie REALLY captures the vibe during the opening act no one gaf about a pop event concert, like i saw 5SOS open for 1D and that's exactly what it felt like

popstar: never stop never stopping - rewatch, duh. is this the funniest movie of all time? it's gotta be up there, right?

josie and the pussycats - also a rewatch, duh. love everything about this but most of all the soundtrack, the songs are legit incredible, no fictional band has ever had better music (rip adam schlesinger who contributed some songwriting!!!). first time rewatching this movie since figuring out some Stuff and understand now that rachel leigh cook needs to be on the Oh Those Were Gay Feelings. That's What That Was list. (rosario dawson too, but i already got there with her.)

vice - really incredible to think it would be possible to fuck up a movie about how dick cheney is basically satan but somehow mckay managed. christian bale is a professional though, i feel like we don't appreciate enough that no matter how bad the movie or how stupid the writing he's out there giving an absolute top tier performance every single time.

aliens - sorta half-watched this one but idk i feel like me and james cameron just don't vibe. not as incredible-looking or cool as the first one.

godzilla minus one - really really cute!!!!!!

jurassic park - rewatch on the big screen, still slaps the hardest of almost any movie ever

twentieth century - this is i guess nominally a screwball comedy (howard hawks, 1934, for those of you for whom that means something) but it's about these two toxic theater people who are horrible for and obsessed with each other and it's... darker... than my experience of that genre has usually been. in a way that sort of works in its favor partly because it just gives it a certain interest and partly because the gender politics of screwballs can be so dark themselves so it's kind of a relief that this one lacks the cognitive dissonance of pretending this all isn't horrible? idk. it's a weird one. but i liked it, on balance. there's a (pretty funny tbh) running gag about suicide threats and a really bananas third act plot that comes out of nowhere... great performances across the board and some real bangers dropped into the screenplay!

the substance - i didn't, like, love this, and i think a lot of common criticisms of it are right, but some are also very silly (guys i think the director knows nothing about the morning exercise show makes sense... i don't think she was going for a realistic depiction of 21st century celebrity...), and i did have a good time for the most part (the last 30 minutes is gross in a way that doesn't do it for me... but i know it does it for some people and those people deserve movies too...) and respected its commitment to its own bit, as well as the fact that it's basically a fairy tale (a woman who lives in a tower makes a bargain with a force she doesn't really understand to regain her beauty...). oh also i liked that the thing that drives the back half of the plot is essentially the idea that you simply cannot have a 22 year old's body without also having to contend with a 22 year old's dumb dumb stupid ass piece of shit idiot brain. haven't seen a lot of people comment on that aspect of it but it was like my favorite part!

female trouble - people throw out the word iconic a lot but like what else is there to say? rude, disgusting, occasionally genuinely offensive, mostly (for me) delightfully so... really great to watch with a crowd that would whoop and cheer for I'M SO GLAD I HAD AN ABORTION and THE WORLD OF THE HETEROSEXUAL IS A SICK AND BORING LIFE... also like it's really key for the way this movie functions that divine is a fat drag queen that most people do not consider the pinnacle of beauty but it's incredibly clear that john waters and this movie does... like divine's constant proclamations of her own gorgeousness are in a kind of inherent tension with the average american's disagreement with that sentiment but in a way where it's like, if you disagree you are an idiot and this movie is not yours. she's so hot in this it's crazy!!

michael clayton - i wanted to watch a talky thriller-ish movie and the men of the ringer podcast network literally never shut up about this one so i gave it a shot and it delivered! clooney predictably great but i had no idea tilda swinton & tom wilkinson were in it and they are both also awesome, as is merrit weaver in a small but very well cast role

venom - you can sort of glimpse the movie this movie would be if it weren't shackled to What A Superhero Movie Is Now / loosely to the MCU even though it pretends it's not, and i bet that movie would be a lot of fun!

black christmas (1974) - perfectly done urban legend horror with an interesting little pro choice streak, great cast, camera work so perfectly spooky and tense even i noticed how well it was done, makes good use of the cinematic potential of christmas lights. i really liked that this movie is short and a slasher but all the characters in it feel very well drawn even though we don't spend much time with almost any of them... reminded me that this is actually possible to do and i should be harder on movies that don't do it!

black christmas (2006) - nowhere near as good as the first one, but it is, uh, absolutely bugfuck crazyass bananapants start to end. my favorite of many deranged writing choices in this movie is that the sorority mother makes them all open their secret santa every year with a gift for the murderer who killed his family years ago in this house and then when one of the girls' townie boyfriend is like "this is the house that used to freak us out when we were kids" the sorority mother is like, "why?" ?????????? ok!!!!!

heretic - hugh grant is a fucking movie star. i love sophie turner and the other girl was good too. sort of loses steam once the "actually" scary stuff happens because horror movie shenanigans are hard to make as scary as the situation of two young and not very experienced girls slowly realizing they are trapped in a house with a man who just keeps pushing the boundaries of the social contract a little further, but i had fun

the apprentice - not a good movie but a great viewing experience for those of us who have reblogged in our lifetimes approx. 1 million combined gifsets of sebstan and jerbear... like yeah those are my guys and my guys did great :) i think my favorite thing about it as a movie (other than the way the "look" of it updates with technology, which is a cooler idea i wish had been used for a... better movie?) is that it really beats home the aspect of trmp wherein he has no social skills at all and has never felt authentically comfortable in a group of people in his entire life, which is something i think we should culturally be meaner to him about

gladiator - dumb (affectionate) movie magic. russell crowe has so much movie star charisma while looking so much like Just Some Guy it's literally crazy. when he kisses the little dolly of his wife who's about to die ;_;

raising arizona - miracle movie, can't believe i'd never watched this before. the coens' control of their tone is so incredible to see so early in their work (still gotta watch barton fink one of these day). incredible cast, gorgeous colors, so funny, so weirdly sweet, when it finished i felt like i'd watched a magic trick

erin brokovich - watched this for the first time since high school and like what else is there to say but Queen Icon Legend Slay? i am speaking of course about steven soderbergh but julia is pretty fucking incredible too.

conclave - i'm gonna be real i feel like the hype got to me a lil with this one because it's not as bitchy and fun as i feel like i was led to believe... also requires more buy-in re: the moral direction of the catholic church than i anticipated. however it does have its moments and it's nice to see some of our best actors being good at their jobs and it looks great!

the philadelphia story - i found this movie so delightful to watch that for a moment i really thought she might run off with jimmy stewart at the end and not get back tamed with her abusive ex..... but such was the power of the hepburn/stewart chemistry in that one drunk garden scene that i found myself totally incapable of actually integrating the gender politics of this one into my feelings towards it... like i just couldn't be mad at a movie that gave me a scene that made me want to scream JUST KISS!!!! the most anything has since the first time i watched "cooler"... do you know what that is? for me to bust out "cooler" as a comp? my god... i understand why my friend has been like that about hepburn our whole lives and am also now fully baby jimmy stewart pilled

gladiator ii - the consensus is right on this one: not as good as the first, paul mescal is no russell crowe, but denzel really ate. my friends and i laughed out loud at almost every single denzel scene. we're so lucky to have him.

wicked - bad movie of a bad musical, fundamentally misunderstands the function of songs in a musical and thus shoots every single musical number abominably, as ugly as you've heard, we are not advanced enough technologically for me to emotionally invest in CGI Goat Voiced By Peter Dinklage, but ariana deserves an oscar. the prettyboy was pretty good too. orivo can really sing but her acting was kinda giving Distressed Pixar Mom for me although i'm happy to add this to john m chu's many crimes.

out of sight - the romantic premise of this movie is CRAZY but george clooney kinds of sells it actually because and not in spite of the fact that he's one of those curious Incredibly Handsome But Not Very Sexy actors... like you believe that she wouldn't really hold a grudge against him locking her in a trunk with him, because, what, clooney's gonna act untoward? no... not him... j. lo joins andie macdowell as an actress out of whom soderbergh somehow coaxes a much better performance than experience would lead you to believe she is capable of. shockingly stacked cast of pros doing great, INCREDIBLE production design - banner movie for characters costumed to match or complement their interiors!!!

burlesque - dr. sam from new girl fucks stanley tucci in this movie... i literally can't stop thinking about that. xtina maybe has the all time highest ratio of vocal chops to charisma, she has the screen presence of a recurring character on a cancelled WB drama and then she opens her mouth and you're like, damn. i would watch an 8 season HBO sitcom of cher and stanley tucci running a failing burlesque club. at one point i said out loud "chekhov's air rights." great time

logan lucky - "what if steven soderbergh made a heist movie but decided to put his coen brothers hat on and, also, cast channing tatum as a divorced dad who wants to support his daughter's dreams but is seriously wigged out by pageant culture?" yes please. absolutely. adam driver almost never acts in movies i actually want to see but he really is one of the real ones.

babygirl - one of those movies where i can understand lots of things that didn't work for people but i, personally, was completely rapturous the entire time because i wanted a movie where i could walk out saying "nicole kidman did that" and i got that AND ALSO (a) a story about a perfectionist who hates herself and (b) sex scenes that are funny and weird and awkward and warm and human. that's so many things i love happening at once, i will happily forgive and overlook any flaws. i really just loved how much the two of them are actively figuring this thing out as they go and how that's embarrassing and goofy and also sweet and fun. plus nicole kidman really did do that, i mean, like, my god... my god....

fantasmas - you have to watch fantasmas... why haven't you watched fantasmas yet... i really struggle to imagine the person who would follow My Dumb Blog but not be into fantasmas... "the gay ones don't draw dicks, they draw eyes"... julio torres is the voice of a generation

the franchise - not quite as much of a banger as i wanted to be but likable enough, & i'm a sucker for showbiz jokes (jokes about insecure actors, etc.), although i think chris ryan had a point on the watch pod when he was like, the thing about the satire elements of this show are that if you know anything about the actual production stuff on superhero/franchise movies it's hard to satirize because like, the real stuff is actually just that crazy... there's a running thread about the overworked VFX guy and it's kinda funny but also like, well this lines up more or less with what those teams have actually said... anyway. i want to say i'm a lil bummed it didn't get renewed nonetheless but also i forgot until i was typing up the list of things to document here that i had never gotten around to the season finale, so i guess i can't really honestly claim to be that bummed lol. (watched it while washing dishes - pretty good!) did love daniel bruhl as a sensitive artiste director being soul-crushed by the studio machine though! that guy's great.

read

r. o. kwon, exhibit - this one's tough. ultimately, there were actually a lot of things i liked about this book. it had some moments that felt really human and well observed (when the protagonist says something about how usually orgasms aren't worth the guilt and then says she knows she's letting us down and her paramour says who's us and the protagonist says all women... that's funny and real and not unrelateable to me for different reasons!). the bones of it were i think ultimately solid - like yeah she's terrible at communicating but ultimately the book is about her running away from the hard fact that her husband wants a baby and she doesn't and the psychology holds water throughout, i think. (also a funny paragraph about how she knows how to cook but mostly subsists on like handfuls of nuts and bread dipped into olive oil or whatever and then she's like "and you thought i could raise a child?"... also relateable...) i REALLY related to the idea of being a person who simultaneously has the memory of experiencing the loss of faith in god as genuinely, actually traumatic and also being like "btw my family might be cursed by vengeful spirit, it's a whole thing, but i gotta try to talk to her before i do this because she kind of gave me the idea," and i really liked that the book didn't spend any effort on reconciling these two things because... i mean iykyk, like i really can't explain beyond "sometimes that's what it's like" - AND i also liked the ultimate reveal of that storyline and how it tied into the core character work of the main plot. plus the whole thing is like the "trying stuff out sexually as a vehicle/metaphor for owning your whole self" thing that i (a) have enjoyed writing in fanfiction and (b) really loved watching in babygirl lmao. unfortunately the writing was the most annoying tryhard I Get It You Have An MFA ass prose i have ever encountered... i complained about this at the time but it's craaazyyyy to use the word "mirific" three times in a ~200 page novel lmao. deranged. calm yourself. i also felt like the dialogue was really bad although i guess i can't totally rule out that this is a book about artists and artists actually are that annoying? idk though... it didn't feel stylized it just felt weird... who says "tippled"... so, ultimately i couldn't say that i "liked" this even though it had elements i admired or enjoyed.

naomi klein, the shock doctrine: the rise of disaster capitalism - as i mentioned at the time, very enamored of its framing device in a very popular nonfiction/thomas friedman lite kinda way, but when it's not doing that (which luckily is most of the time), this is an informative and well explicated accounting of the horrors milton friedman has unleashed upon the world. i liked her fundamental argument that you can't politicize along economic grounds horrors committed under communism but not do that for capitalism, which has sort of seeped into general internet leftist thought (a testament to the success of this book) but which i appreciate more having seen how she builds her case.

the red nation, the red deal: indigenous action to save our earth - read this for a mutual aid book club that never happened lol. at the end of this book they're like "well probably none of this is new in the climate justice conversation but we don't think things have to be new to be valuable" and like... on the one hand true... on the other hand if you're even vaguely aware of climate justice discourse... not a lot here is new. i also, perhaps unpopularly, have become kind of a... idk... i mean when people are like "we can't solve climate collapse without dismantling capitalism" these days my reaction is basically "well one of those things might happen in the next two hundred years and it's not dismantling capitalism." i'm not like a tech-zealot but a... tech-realist? idk. this is not what i want to be true but it is my honest accounting of the situation. so, any argument that's like "step one: dismantle capitalism" is... it's just not where i'm at these days.

patrick radden keefe, say nothing: a true story of murder and memory in northern ireland - there are no doubt quibbles or political issues to be had with this book, a story of the troubles focused largely on a particular group of IRA members operating in west belfast in the early 70s - as an idiot coming into this subject basically cold, i would have appreciated slightly more grounding in the political situation leading up to the swelling of violence in this period - but, damn, this book is fucking mesmerizing. keefe really brings the people involved to life, particularly the young IRA members at the heart of his chronicle, and while it's clear he doesn't condone all their actions, my own sense was that he was more interested in truly understanding and making clear their own understandings of their motivations & understanding of themselves & ethical framework than he was in passing judgment (and i also definitely felt like he had a certain admiration for the integrity of someone like brandon hughes or dolours price, who were always willing to own what they did and why they did it, and a genuine disdain for how fucking crazy it is for gerry adams to rebrand as a peacenik when literally everybody knows he spent the early 70s telling people to plant bombs lmao). (also having read empire of pain... he definitely holds the sacklers in lower esteem than the IRA, lol.) the final chapters of the book also touch on the really fascinating difficult question of how you morally reckon with the revolutionary violence you did if the revolution you did it for never came to pass - this is the heart of why his fellow ex-IRA comrades feel so betrayed by adams, who has left them to shoulder the burden of that guilt alone while pivoting to the compromise they once agreed would not suffice which was part of the reason for all the violence, and it is something i think about a lot as someone who would not self identify as a pacifist and thinks the historical record leaves no doubt that sometimes violence is necessary for change but nonetheless feels very reluctant to endorse specific acts of revolutionary violence in theory. thrilling and thorny, ultimately i would say deserving of all the accolades i learned after reading it has apparently received lol.

patrick radden keefe, the snakehead: an epic tale of the chinatown underworld and the american dream - not quite as tremendous-feeling as say nothing, but that's mostly because that's a crazy high bar; this is a really fascinating look at the human smuggling trade (& other organized-ish crime) in NYC's chinatown in the 80s/90s, including the middle aged woman who was at the heart of much of it. contains: some totally deranged gang warfare stories; a really fascinating look at the weirdness of chinese immigration policy in the 90s, when china's one-child policy pushed normally anti-immigration republicans to switch on this issue for pro-life reasons (the one child policy... maybe the one thing every american politician shares the same view on, for different reasons?); interesting background on fujian, the high-outmigration region of china from whence many of the principles in this story came; an accounting of an insane boat journey gone so wrong that at one point after the would-be migrants have been trapped in a harbor off the coast of africa (i forget which country), when they finally leave, two of them decide to stay because the chinese restaurant they've opened is doing so well. i keep thinking about the fact keefe highlights that of the hundreds of doomed migrants on this hugely traumatic journey who wound up deported after crash-landing, nearly all of them eventually made their way back to the US.

kazuo ishiguro, nocturnes - my first ishiguro since my teen ishiguro phase (a concept that should really be regarded the way that teens getting into heavy metal and grunge is in pop culture e.g. a sign to check in on their mental health lmao). didn't love these but i can't tell if that's because i prefer ishiguro as a novelist or because i'm just bad at reading short stories... also to be fair there were at least 2 ishiguro novels i read back then and was like "the fuck was that" lol. some very funny moments and a lot of like, amusing portraits of unlikable people, and i do love his style, which is like, a pathologically conversational first person that years of reading since has taught me is much more technically difficult than it looks, but ultimately it felt pretty slight.

naomi klein, doppleganger: a trip into the mirror world - klein takes on, like, "the wellness to alt right pipeline" is an oversimplification but topics in that neck of the woods, inspired by the wack ass shit constantly being tweeted by Other Naomi (wolf), with whom klein is frequently confused on twitter. this is an inherently very funny premise for a book and a lot of what klein says is in my view pretty accurate, and some of her literary/theoretical musings on dopplegangers as a Thing are interesting to read, plus the whole thing is on topics of interest to me, aka Alt Right Derangement And Weird Shit People Are Up To Online. however..... so klein says that she herself was very offline until covid happened, basically, and so if you have been online longer, and especially if you have been actively reading stuff about Weird Shit People Are Up To Online, then this book is basically a smart person catching up with topics you yourself already know a lot about. so in a funny way i found this a more enjoyable read than the shock doctrine, because it's less of an unrelenting fucking bummer about human evil and suffering, but it was also less enriching, because she didn't really bring any new insight to topics that, again, are probably in the top 5 of Post Headlines I'm Most Likely To Click On. like yeah, deranged alt right types are using the language of social justice and inequality and bodily autonomy to further their various causes... tru... i mean it is tru... i also think the fact that her default is a Not Online person who only changed her vibe after covid makes her a bit more of an internet doomer bc she doesn't viscerally get the nontoxic value possible to find in Online through diligent curation lol. but i do think it was a solid accounting of the subcultures and and ideologies she explores so like i said i basically liked it and if you're less tuned into weird internet radicalization currents than i am you will probably find it informative!

suzanna clarke, piranesi - i don't even know what to say about this one, probably tied with tender as my favorite book i read last year (strong fantasy year for me i guess). it's so crazy that suzanna clarke wrote jonathan strange & mr. norrell, the most perfect book of all time, and then did this, which is also the most perfect book of all time, in a completely different way. her gift for atmosphere and voice is second to none and in this one she uses it to draw us into caring so deeply for a narrator who can't even remember his own past - the book in some ways is a mystery and the doling out of information is perfectly paced but the reason it works is because we just love this guy because of how much he loves the universe. the final chapter expresses something about survival & upheaval & change (&, sure, trauma, if you want) that, as i said before & will come as no surprise, is so so so precisely keyed into an idea so deeply important to me... ahh! just sublime!

v. c. andrews, flowers in the attic - book club!! this book is CRAZY but there's only two real things i want to say about it: (1) a lot of what's totally deranged about it is that on the one hand, it has the most gothic novel ass set-up ever - horrible incest house of dark secrets and shame, children literally living in an attic, physical decay, etc. etc. - and on the other hand in all other respects its sensibilities are the most american 70s suburban ass thing, so that it's like, a gothic novel where the evil mother goes to secretary school and the kids watch sitcoms and cut construction paper in the secret attic... like, the tonal clash is soooo crazy, it's incredible; and (2) ok so like by the time it happens you 100% want those siblings to fuck. like. you just do.

suzanna clarke, jonathan strange and mr. norrell - counting this as last year even though i read the second half in january lol. ummm best book in the world. third time through and i genuinely think it gets better every time. most purely pleasurable reading experience of all time.

stephanie mccurry, confederate reckoning: power and politics in the civil war south - ditto re timing (technically i have like a couple pages of this one left and a few more quotes to post lol). i picked this back up as a comfort reread after the election and it slaps so hard it's crazy. love to read about how a bunch of war-losing loser traitors lost in no small part because it's hard to wage war as a modern state committed to resisting the tides of modernity!!!! sucks 2 suck!!!!!

listened

maude latour, sugar water - i'm kind of obsessed with maude latour not in terms of being obsessively in love with her music, although i think she's very good, but because she's my go-to example of someone out here doing girlpop toiling away in the spotify minds unremuneratively who i would easily and even gladly swap fame-wise with basically any of the pop girls in our current rising class (thinking of olivia/chappell/sabrina... none of whom are like terrible - well ok i have yet to hear a chappell roan song i think is actually good lol but i guess she can sing and it's nice that she's gay - but also alleged newcomers like tate mcrae? addison whoever? madison beer? these are not real people stop trying to act like they're real people! ladyraven ass pop girls...). she just makes really solid, well written, inventive but still catchy pop. i returned to this short album a lot more than i expected to, often thinking i wanted to hear just the first song (a standout) and then realizing i was happy to let the rest play through. also gay stuff, if you care about that.

sabrina carpenter, short n sweet - like it's all very competent and espresso deserves its flowers but who cares? who could possibly ever care? i've been SUCH an antonoff apologist and please please please is the first song where i felt like i was hearing him as his haters hear him, it sounds like shit. there are better moments and worse moments, some ok lines, she can sing, etc., but where's the vision? where's the personality? nothing to grab on to.

beabadoobee, this is how tomorrow moves - beabadoobee is obviously talented and intelligent and her music sounds enough like a kind of music i like that i always feel like i should like her more... but i think she's a little too stripped down and sophisticated for me. that said "ever seen" was one of my top songs of 2024, total absolute BANGER

charly bliss, forever - doesn't quite live up to the heights of young enough, but given that young enough is a strong contender for my favorite album of the past decade, i'm not really sure it could. this one is pop-punkier and very hooky lots of fun, and i just love eva's taffy-pull voice and wanna listen to her sing anything. also it has a song that sounds so much like a pop punk version of a kesha song it's legit uncanny to me.

pom pom squad, mirror starts moving without me - big step up from their last album, IMO, and i liked that a lot too! ambitious in an interesting way but also lots of fun. this one also has a song that at points sounds so much like a kesha song it's crazy, as does a 2023 album i was recently listening to by underscores... i feel like we're living in a big post-kesha moment and i don't know if anyone is appreciating it enough...

pale waves, smitten - i agree with pale waves that "what if avril lavigne got really into shoegaze and was also gay" is a great idea for an album. really pretty production on this one!

070 shake, petrichor - my friend dave was like "this album might be bad but i'm obsessed with it" and i listened out of solidarity and was like, i don't like this but i can understand why you specifically would. friendship!

charli xcx, brat and it's completely different but it's still brat - i never really listen to enough albums to justify having an album of the year but something about the release of the remix album really opened up the whole project to me and i was completely obsessed with it for a while and still love it. track by track most of the remixes are not quite as good as the original track (although some, like caroline polacheck's gorgeous turn on everything is romantic, are definite upgrades), but something about the spirit of generosity that infuses the project, the way it makes it all feel like a project more than an album, the sense that charli has thrown this party and she's invited up and coming spanish rapper bbtrix alongside ariana grande, the way it's less disciplined than the album proper but more expansive, at some points grimier and clubbier and at other points more emotive and romantic... idk. feels like a whole world. the so i remix alone, like - releasing a sad song about your friend who died, and then releasing a faster song about all the fun shit you used to do, that sounds more like a song your dead friend would have produced, is one of the most loving acts i have ever seen committed through art and it made me cry even though i never connected with SOPHIE's music bc i'm not really cool enough to be into hyperpop. rooting for charli at the grammies even though i know it's not gonna happen lmao.

other

jenny holzer at the guggenheim - there was a jenny holzer installation at the guggenheim!! it was really cool!! i finally understood something @rgr-pop said years ago about how it matters that she is a visual artist and her words (incredible as they often are as words) appear physically in a space. it is in fact Different, to see them in a space. in addition to The Classics (i got so fannishly excited spotting IT IS IN YOUR SELF INTEREST TO FIND A WAY TO BE VERY TENDER lmao), the installation also included a lot of her more recent and more overtly political stuff, some of which engaged specifically with the bush ii administration & iraq/afghanistan, which made for intense viewing given that i happened to go right around the time i read the shock doctrine (as did spotting the one about how mothers who have a reason to cry should do so in public....). jenny holzer is great! so glad i could experience that!

[maximwtf]

“Limits.”

Baizhu x Reader

Words: 1550

Google Docs Pages: 2,5

Warnings: Lantern Rite 2025 spoilers, established relationship, injury recovery, comfort, idk nothing too emotional. 

Opening: Hu Tao drags you back to Bubu in poor shape after saving her, but your partner isn’t quite as happy about this sacrifice. Too bad he’d sacrifice himself for you as well, so you’re in good hands. 

AN// G/N Reader. I have a request to write but because my main finally was let out the basement and got content AND he was voiced…I felt like this came first. But also because I wanted this part to be included in the Lantern Rite cut scene but it wasn’t so…Haha, I didn’t make this too long or detailed, since I have other stuff to work on. Hope it’s still okay :”D

“Limits.”

The amount of fetor your body had been exposed to far exceeded the amount you’d expected to face. But none of the efforts had been in vain. Since whatever had happened after, you’d made sure Hu Tao was alive and well before ultimately collapsing in exhaustion. 

And she was well. Enough so, to having taken the task of getting you back for treatment on herself. You had no memory of this, barely bits and pieces of the journey. Flashes of small bits of road, faint sounds of Hu Tao cheering herself on under her breath and a faint memory of stairs. A feeling you'd had each time, of wanting to ease her burden of dragging you back by getting back on your feet. But the overwhelming exhaustion prevented you from moving, there was no arguing against it. 

It was already dark by the time Hu Tao had made it back to Bubu pharmacy. Allowing herself a moment of rest when Baizhu helped her by taking on some of the weight of your collapsed form, brows furrowed in worry. His hand brushed back some of the lost strands of hair from your face while diligently checking your vitals. Most of the actions done so automatically on the spot he hadn’t even noticed doing them. 

He felt displeased, most of that stemming from worry. A part of him not fully comprehending the fact that you’d willingly gone and done something so dangerous. But then again, you had saved the life of the funeral parlor’s director successfully. That fact confused his thought process, not really knowing who to be displeased with.  Ultimately deciding that maybe it was better if those feelings weren’t directed at anyone. There were more pressing matters at hand. 

That didn’t stop him from mumbling a few rather opinionated comments under his breath while helping Hu Tao escort you to the back room for a more thorough exam. Laying your form neatly on to the bed before going over to the shelves. Mind ticking to find anything to ease the exhaustion that he’d concluded as the cause for the collapse. You needed rest, that much was clear. But he couldn’t have you sleeping without consuming anything for an extended amount of time. That would far increase the risk of more harm than good. 

In his hurry to find the best possible medicine, he’d forgotten to thank Hu Tao. Furthermore, he’d forgotten that the girl needed a check up as well. She’d been in the very same place as you, and therefore having had the fetor run through her as well. 

“Ah, indeed. Thank you, Director Hu. Once their condition is stable, I suggest you come in for a check up as well.” He spoke swiftly, an attempt to hide the worry in his tone from the other and himself. He wouldn’t have been of much help to anyone if any of those selfish feelings were to come through now. 

He couldn’t see the reaction of the Director, merely hearing an agreeing ‘okay’ before she saw it best to leave the doctor to perform his duty in peace. The silence so dreadful when he finally seated himself beside the bed. 

He did what he could. Applying all the medicine he could think of that had a chance of easing your condition, taking note of any changes with your vitals. By now having realised that this case with the fetor could have been of use in further research. Then again, that could have been a desperate attempt to distract himself from the identity of the patient he was caring for. It was an odd feeling, seeing something he held close to his heart be injured and unresponsive. 

But he knew better than to rue over something that couldn’t be changed anymore. He’d done what he could, knowing that since the fetor didn’t exactly cause an illness, it meant there was nothing he could heal. Merely ease the effects of it now and hope that your recovery would perhaps be sped up by the medicine. 

Time passed faster than he expected. The situation had taken such a strain on his condition, he’d barely noticed when he had started nodding off. Changsheng sensed the stress of the situation, not daring to start waking Baizhu up again once he’d fallen asleep by the bed. Thinking it best to allow him rest now, rather than waking him up and having the man fuss over you again for the rest of the night. His body could hardly take the strain, no matter if he always argued otherwise. 

Thankfully his dignity was saved, since you hadn’t shown any signs of waking up the next morning either. Only, he’d received a few displeased looks and comments from Changsheng over him straining himself like he’d done. After another overly thorough examination, he’d been able to only conclude that you appeared fine on the outside. Deciding it best to start off his day to get his mind off of the situation. Knowing all he could do was to wait for your body to naturally wake up again. 

The day kept him busy with all the check ups he had to do with the patients affected with fetor previously, allowing him to take his mind off of your condition. It was only after Zhongli had come in to visit you that he’d received the news of your conscious state. The other man having seen it best to start leaving so Baizhu had space to make sure nothing fatal had happened due to the extreme exposure to fetor. 

He hurried to the back room, relieved to find you sitting on the bed with a hand on your forehead. Seemingly having just woken up. “Well, good morning,” his usual voice greeted you and immediately gained the attention he’d missed. “You know, you’re lucky your constitution is as strong as it is. You dealt a serious blow back there.” He continued, a hint of stress apparent in his voice. But maybe that was only to your more trained ear. You were aware of how skilled he was with holding himself back for the sake of others, and that included you. 

But he was right, of course. But even if you’d survived, the feeling after wasn’t pleasant. Your head still felt heavy with exhaustion, not to mention the overpowering feeling of wanting to lay back down and sleep. It took every ounce of willpower you had left to muster up a few words. “Could I have a drink?” Like an automatic request. You hadn’t even noticed how thirsty you were, so far having no idea how long you’d been out for. 

Baizhu had been already on it, handing you the cool cup right after hearing the request. “You’ve been asleep for quite some time…” He spoke up again, keeping up conversation in order to keep you awake. It wasn’t hard to tell you kept nodding off every once in a while. So he proceeded to raise his voice a little then, give you a gentle push while checking your vitals again.

Gentle with his process, he made one final check up and agreed to let his mind rest after. It truly seemed to only be exhaustion from taking the blow of the ritual. You’d be fine with proper rest, as much as he’d feared otherwise. 

The cooling drink ran out faster than you would have hoped, placing the empty cup beside the bed. “You know, I can tell you’re worrying,” voice a little more clearer this time. “But I feel fine, the drowsiness aside…” You tried to chuckle a little to lighten up the mood. “He stayed up almost all night watching over you.” Changsheng spoke up before the man himself was able to, exposing his little endeavors the previous night. “Baizhu-..” You were able to begin the all too practised lecture, only to be interrupted by him. “I’m keenly aware of my limits, unlike some,” he allowed a sight to escape. Letting out some of the built up stress from the ordeal. “That was a trick I do not wish for you to perform again..” He sat down beside you on the bed, brushing some of your hair back with a gentle motion. In the end, pulling you in for a light embrace which was gladly returned soon after. “I think the Funeral Parlor will be in check for some time after this…No need for another rescue, don’t worry.” You hummed, feeling your eyes start to close once again. 

Baizhu pulled back, feeling your weight start to shift on to him a little more. “They may be fine, but you..” He laid you down gently, standing back up. “Are not. Which is exactly why you’re going to rest so that no lasting damage will raise its head.” Baizhu explained with the usual firm tone behind his words, knowing fully well that he wasn't going to let you walk this off. But wanting to believe that your negotiable nature wasn’t due to exhaustion, but instead out of wanting to ease the mind of the other. “Alright…” 

You could see the warm smile on his face before your eyes forced themselves shut. Only feeling the light peck he pressed against your forehead before outstretching his hand to allow Changsheng to climb back up to his shoulders. “Rest well, dear.” He said silently, before exiting the room. Now with a little more peace of mind.

[ladyloveandjustice]

when I think about it Kim Possible was extremely formative for my future tastes in media, possibly more than I ever realized

-was finally able to enjoy a girl action hero and fell for her so hard.

( I actually can't remember experiencing any media with a (consistently spotlighted) girl action hero before that? Possibly some books. When did I read protector of the small??? Post Kim Possible I think. Wait there was probably Charlie's Angels? I think that went over my head though I would have been ten and it isn't like. very good. so it didn't click.)

(The Paper Bag Princess. Does that count.)

-it was basically a superhero show, using a ton of tropes, foreshadowing my later love of superheros

-the general sense of humor, especially the way it had fun with hero villain traditions and tropes, the villains were so silly.

-the fact Kim doesn't have a secret identity and everyone just knows she runs off to save the world sometimes but everyone treats it as super normal still love that stuff

-hot mean goth lady who can kill you

-intense intimate rivalry between women where they're obsessed with each other

-animal sidekick who's more competent than everyone else, foreshadowing magical girl love

Yeah I think it was more formative than I ever really realized...

[lovesodakid]

shadows of the dark

matt sturniolo x reader

1 2 3 4

summary : growing up in the ‘middle of nowhere’ small town in lochcliff, colorado, stories were heard of multiple strange disappearances, murders, animal attacks, and more. when you were younger, you never paid attention to that stuff. now at the age of 17 it’s all you ever hear about. what happens when you realize those ‘stories’ you heard growing up, may not just be scary fairytales people tell their kids.

warning ⚠️ : contains mature themes, smut, gore (nothing insane), angst, etc. this warning is for all chapters.

(this does take some inspiration from tvd !)

underage drinking !

chapter 5 : wicked games

the loud bass of the speakers coming from inside of the two-story tall house echos through the trees of the secluded property. the home being far away from town. in other words, the perfect party house for high schoolers.

“first party of the school year.” jayde sighs as she stands next to me on the graveled road in front of the house. teenagers spilling out of the home, flooding the front and back yards. “thank god it’s finally the weekend too.”

“yeah..” i nervously trail off as i fiddle with the hem of my shirt. jayde convinced me earlier that evening to stray away from my comfort zone and try in her words a ‘hot and sexy outfit to catch someone’s attention’ which is made up of a light grey halter top and a black miniskirt paired with knee high black boots.

i feel her eyes on me as i keep my own focused on the party in front of me. “girl don’t even worry, it’s gonna be fun,” she exclaims, “if you really aren’t up to this, we can leave. but just at least give it a chance, okay?”

i nod in agreement as i feel myself letting the breath out i didn’t know i was holding. “yeah okay.”

we begin to make our way into the party, dead leaves crunching under every step we take on the dewy grass, courtesy of the late summer and early fall transition.

the second we make it indoors, the smell of alcohol and b.o immediately hit me like a brick. the speakers thumping so heavily it was almost as if the home had its very own heartbeat.

teenagers completely overtaking the space of the house, leaving jayde and i pushing and shoving through the crowd of insobriety.

we eventually end up in the kitchen, liquor and alcoholic beverages scattered all around the marble kitchen island. red solo cups littered all over the floor and counters. a good amount of people in the room but no where near as much as the living room.

“finally.” jayde sighs happily. “okay what do you want? pink whitney, smirnoff, jack daniel’s, mikes hard, damn there’s a lot.”

“um…a shot of pink whitney.” i decide, maybe a little bit of alcohol consumption could loosen my nerves and allow me to help handling this party easier than being sober.

she hums as she grabs a tiny shooter of pink whitney from an opened pack on the island. “here you go.” she hands me my choice of drink.

she takes hold of her own alcoholic choice as she holds her shot up in a cheering manner. i pop the black lid off of the bottle and hit my drink with hers before we both tip our heads back and downing the liquid. my face scrunches immediately as i feel my throat burn.

i throw down the empty bottle to join the pile of other empty cups and take a deep breath, allowing the sensation to ease up.

“okay, i will be right back.” jayde says as she starts waking out of the kitchen. “i’m gonna go look for that hunk of a man christopher. so fine i just wanna bite him.” she expresses, exiting the room.

i softly laugh as i shake my head back and forth at her words. my eyes already searching for another shooter. when i find one, i grab it and begin my own exploration through the party.

a blue hue coating the living room from the black lights hanging from the ceiling and walls, where most of the crowd is. different projectors showing on a repetitive cycle of different colors as well creating a bright and fun atmosphere.

i squeeze my way through the drunken teenagers until i finally take notice of an empty couch in the corner of the living room. i let out a breath of relief as i walk towards the velvety red seating, and sit down.

taking the lid off of the shooter i had grabbed from the kitchen prier to coming to sit down, i chug it and sit the trash leftover on the floor beside my feet.

i cross my legs, relaxing as i sink into the soft cushion, feeling the alcohol calming my once sporadic nerves. watching the intoxicated cluster of people dance together, some even grinding against one another as a song i recognize as ‘wicked games’ by the weeknd comes on.

i bump my head to the song as it plays loudly through the home, the alcohol i’ve consumed causing a loopy feeling to enter my body. my head turning to my right when i feel a presence next to me.

“hey.”

a/n : this is so short omg i’m so sorry, i’m gonna be busy the rest of the day today and i wanted to hurry and get a new part out. trust next part will be longer but anyways 🤗

tags - @madisonsfavgirl @shitttttypoet @malsmind @matts-girlfriend

[moowithmidnight]

Okay! My ranting nonsense thoughts on the fight Peggy and Jarvis have in the desert after Ana is shot and Jarvis tries to kill Whitney Frost

(I couldn’t find an easily accessible scenepack for screenshots so rewatch the scene if you need to!)

1. Peggy is a very mixed bag in terms of her reactions when she’s upset- throughout agent Carter she slides fully across the “stiff upper lip” to “unrepentant volatile emotion” sides of the spectrum but it’s also quite simple. She restrains her emotions more (note: not fully bc that’s so important to me) in situations where she feels unsafe.

The perfect example of this is in S1 when Howard tricks her into stealing Steve’s blood- we see her realize that Howard lied to her and grow upset, but before she can leave she runs into Thompson. He has his whole “no man will ever respect you” speech, and she’s clearly upset by that too, and while it shows, she doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her upset. He isn’t “safe”.

Howard, ironically, in this situation actually is- despite the blatant misogynistic manipulation he tries 2.5 seconds later, Peggy knows that Howard knows how much Steve meant to her, and she recognizes how much Steve meant to him. There’s no need for pretense.

When Jarvis says “everyone around you dies”, we are shown Peggy clearly trying to compose herself before turning back toward him. Jarvis becomes “not safe” because she doesn’t want to reveal how much she agrees with him. Right now, she doesn’t think Ana has any lasting damage from her attack, so while she’s carrying guilt for the shooting, it’s easier to lash out and point out Jarvis’ hypocrisy.

The language she uses it very cutting and precise, but the calmness she’s trying to project actually speaks to how truly upset she is I think.

1.5. Agent Carter also does a good job of showing the way Peggy reacts faced with one vs multiple stressors, which I feel like way too many shows neglect- of course someone is generally going to have a bigger reaction faced with twenty issues compared to only one. And in this case, it’s definitely a multiple stressors type of situation, but that’s for another day-

2. She blatantly self soothes before she turns to face Jarvis!! This ties into the stuff British upper lip, but you can see her physically rub her hand against her clothes multiple times between the first and seconds shots.

Originally I thought she was clutching the wound she got from Whitney earlier in the season but that would be on the other side.

She also does it again after Jarvis reveals that Ana can’t have children- idk why that’s so special to me but it is.

3. When Peggy retaliates against the claim, the reason her reaction is so sharp and pointed and seemingly angry is because she knows (and believes) that what Jarvis says is true.

Throughout the series, as a general rule, Peggy doesn’t react strongly when people accuse her of something that isn’t true. She’s not immediately angry when they accuse her of treason or when Jack hands her the fake file of her “crimes” during WWII.

But she believes that she gets people killed, so having someone else say that, especially someone who knows how much she believes it, hurts more.

3.5. On that point, she very pointedly never denies what Jarvis says. She disputes this particular example (although only until the moment Jarvis reveals that Ana actually will have lasting complications from the wound) but she never says “you saying everyone around me dies is wrong”.

4. Also!! The words she chooses and her tone are all so telling. She says “lucky you” at the end, and it’s a dig, but the way she says it is loaded with genuine envy. She does think he’s lucky, she wants that. The whole speech is so reminiscent of Dottie’s speech to her at the end of S1, where she’s trying for anger but says how jealous she used to be of girls like Peggy.

5. I think the thing that really destroys Peggy here too is the fact that it’s Jarvis saying this. Replace him with any other character- even Daniel- and I truly think her reaction would’ve been different.

For one, Jarvis is the sole person who she confided in about how she believes being around her gets her loved ones killed, and this was the beginning of season 1. “Maybe lose is too nice a word- I get them killed”.

The other thing is that it’s Jarvis. Bumbling, well-meaning, kind of naive, very sweet and endearing, thinks so highly of her Jarvis. So to her, if he finally sees this as the truth, then she really is doomed.

6. The fucking tear, dear lord. After Peggy starts to walk away again, we get very clear shots of her face as Jarvis fades into the background. But it’s only after she whips around to face him that the lighting shifts and we see the tear sliding down her cheek- sick and twisted truly.

7. Peggy’s last sentence before Jarvis reveals Ana can’t have kids is “the moment we escape this desert, we can escape each other forever” which is obvious harsh. And while Peggy’s tone is very sharp and jagged, it doesn’t really reach angry when combined with her facial expressions- she’s clearly upset. It speaks to her attempt at restraint, especially the way “forever” is clearly choked compared to the rest of the sentence.

She wants to hurt him and lash out, yes, but I also think it’s partly her tendency to push everyone away from her peeking through again for a very important reason- Jarvis was the original person who encouraged her to form connections. He was the one who told her she couldn’t (and didn’t need to) take on the weight of the world alone. His encouragement led to her forming relationships outside of the SSR and eventually to letting him tag along with her, the thing he now resents her for.

8. In the gif set my original reblog tag was on, the first gif is right after Jarvis says that Ana “is married to a coward, who can’t bring himself to tell her [she can’t have kids].”

Hayley Atwell’s acting is this is incredible- the way Peggy clearly wants to reassure him at first, her face screaming “you aren’t a coward” but physically can’t bring herself to speak because you can tell as soon as she does her voice is going to break (which she does).

But even after that, you can see the exact moment where she fully processes and internalizes the blame. Before this, like I said, she’s so clearly jealous, because as far as she knows, while Ana did get hurt, she’s 100% fine. All of a sudden the rug is pulled out from under her and she has to reconcile with the fact that, oh shit, she did get someone else hurt. You can see her eyebrows kind of furrow and her face scrunch up slightly more as she goes through that process, leaning toward “I’m going to start sobbing” as her chin literally wobbles.

9. Jarvis’s apology. Jesus. “It’s not an excuse for what I did because it is inexcusable. But I am truly sorry.” Not only was it so incredibly genuine, but it’s so telling- the way his words are left purposefully vague so the audience can’t tell what he’s apologizing for— trying to kill Whitney and/or lashing out at Peggy— is delicious writing.

10. This is technically after the scene ends, but Peggy denying Jarvis’ obvious attempt to plan out their next move by saying “no, Mr. Jarvis, you need to be with your wife” is also very telling. It isn’t her holding a grudge and being petty, it’s the result of their argument but only because, again, she fully believes that what Jarvis said is true.

The obvious guilt she was carrying from Ana being shot is now multiplied into oblivion, especially because- simile to Colleen, who’s death sparked her confiding in Jarvis about this in the first place- Ana is entirely non-involved in this. She isn’t part of the SSR, a veteran, or anyone who has a stake in their job the way many of the other dead characters were. She was never supposed to get hurt, she was never supposed to even be at risk.

—

Anyways. Peggy Carter I love you and your terrible tragic life and I wish you could have had a long hard cry after this because you deserve it!!

Also I wrote these out of order- because rants- so the ones in the middle are probably a lot stronger than the beginning rip

(This might be my longest post ever I am so sorry @malewifegradyruewen LMAO)

[blorbogirl]

TPTM BLORBO 4 !!: CRUCIFIXION GIRL ❤‍🔥

requested by anon !!

TWO POSTS IN ONE WHAT !!!

AND ITS KYOKO ?!?!?!?!?!

as someone who's rlly into madoka magica and has an au for it, this was a fun concept to look into knowing kyoko and like..majority of the holy quintet have major lore

!! TW BELOW FOR MENTIONS OF DEATH & SUICIDE !!

as mentioned before, considering kyoko has some very notable lore considering the whole..thing with her dad killing the entire family and..then himself being..a horror and playing an intense role on how kyoko's personality is now, it's a pretty good start although i mostly only changed how the death affects her in a more expanded way and what happened to cause this as a result knowing kyoko's wish was what caused it all canonically, she mostly learned how to bribe and do things she considered 'sinful' just to have people show up to her dad's church, as nobody rlly..cared enough to see what he had to say, as it was different from other stuff and what not, and eventually a similar situation happens where he finds out abt the truth, and is obviously mad but it affects him horribly

....then he goes mad, obviously killing the rest of the sakura family and then himself, leaving kyoko alone, this gives her trauma in a way where she's stuck with her emotions, and the obvious fact she's given up on helping people after a situation like this, even if it was her dad, she clearly starts to get worse overtime, still handling the situation badly as she starts to blame religion for causing this disaster and then yk ... she attempts to end only to give up in a last-ditch effort.

in the end, kyoko is just sick of trauma and unwellness from reality.. believing herself to have been victimized by a greater force just because she wanted to do something to help.

[beatrixst0nehill]

"So, for everybody wondering where I got to..... surprise! Yes, that video circulating of me waddling out of a buffet in my hometown in a huge dress that still couldn't cover my ass all the way, sweating, panting, puke all over the front of my dress. That was 100% me, congrats to everyone who guessed right! I know you guys really loved my content. I of course loved my community and buying cute outfits to show off for you. My transition was going great and you all were so supportive of me. I was lucky I got to start transitioning so young, so I got the perfect, sexy body of my dreams by 19 and just had to show it off to the world! Then, well....... I got a bit carried away.

I was plugging away, making my content, and people kept telling me how sexy I was, they complimented my ass especially. Lots of guys and a few girls asked me if I'd consider getting bigger on purpose. I didn't really know how to respond. I'd ask them if they really wanted to see me with a fatter ass. They were all crazy about it. That's who in some of my last videos you see me struggle to put stuff on. I looked up weight gain tips and was bombarded in my algorithm with feederism content. Step by step guides on how to go from thin, to massively fat, and a lot of them were guides made by trans girls who looked so enthusiastic to get morbidly obese. I never saw anything like it, these curvy, busty, healthy girls who could barely control their erections as they gleefully detailed how they planned to grow too fat to walk in just a couple years, how they fantasized about becoming a total slob, gushing about how amazing it would feel to get their first heart attack.

My cock was so fucking hard, but I was only three inches. I wanted a bigger cock like the girls in these videos, but I wasn't even thinking about my fashion vlog. I asked a doctor to prescribe me stuff to increase my penis size but not detrans me, like a lot of girls who ask for this stuff. Soon, I had a seven-inch cock but I couldn't tuck it anymore, it became impossible to hide, and I was pushing 200lbs from just a couple months of my new diet. I was too embarrassed to post more content, quietly inundating my feed with weight gain content, almost getting hypnotized by it. I started to mindlessly eat and eat and eat! Sure, I wound up with an almost footlong cock, but now I'm way too fat to enjoy it. I've completely let myself go. I guess I feel like I have to finally be honest about what I've done to myself, so I'll be posting again, and updating my OF.... Hope you don't mind seeing your trans fashionista heart throb sitting naked in her own piss and shit, gorge herself on fast food for hours, cumming like a perverted gooner just from overeating.

I don't really bathe anymore, I hard wipe or clean myself. When I go out I just throw on giant sundresses and don't care if my belly, ass, and cock are hanging out. I'm just too big for clothes..... ironically. When I go out almost no restrooms can fit me, so I literally just go anywhere, pissing myself as I waddle to the nearest buffet or restaurant, or I go at my booth and apologize to the waitress, telling them I'm just too fat to make it to the bathroom anymore. They tell me it's fine, that they'll clean it later, and they serve lots of girls like me that are severely disabled by obesity. Good girls, keep it up, grow as big as you can! I'm not slowing down anytime soon, even though I'm almost 700lbs and I can barely walk. The state is gonna send me caretakers once I'm too fat to walk, hopefully they're cute, maybe they can help jerk off my fat cock, my erections get so painful sometimes it's always a relief when I eat enough to finally orgasm, usually just enough that I wind up puking. But oh well, nothing worth fighting for will be struggle-free! Here's to a very obese new year, and hopefully, fingers crossed, my first heart attack! I'm super jealous of the other girls in my community that have already gotten there's. I just need to get bigger faster! I'm way too skinny, don't you think? ❤️"

[idontplaytrack]

AGH

I'm obsessed with regressed Janis so...

Regina, Janis, and the gang go out. And Janis slips and goes non-verbal so no one knows/can really tell.

Idk

:D I love you and your work so very much, you have so much skill. Truly my favorite writer ever!!!

Fade into you

Janis ‘Imi’ike x Regina George

Warnings: Regina snaps at Janis, fluff, age regression

‘Fade into you

Strange you never knew’

Hearing the crowds of rowdy students around them who were either joking or discussing their weekend plans, Janis couldn’t wait to get out of school grounds. The past week has been filled with quizzes and at home? Janis’ father has been arguing with her mom about every little thing— absolutely just picking a fight when there was no need for that. Janis detested having to go home to that…chaos. So often times, she spent her afternoons at the park or the public library, only arriving home just in time for bed. The girl truly did everything in her power to avoid interacting with her parents. Her mom was okay, well— Janis was really close to her mom. Her father was the problem: almost always having a drink in hand, treating women like they were supposed to wait on him hand and foot, like women were only supposed to be housewives and babymakers. Janis loathed him, Janis couldn’t have her own voice around him…they kind of just co-existed, with one person having no acknowledgement for the other. How’d this start? The bunsen burner incident that led to Janis being kicked out of school for the remainder of that year. Kawaika immediately saw her as malevolent. Like some evil incarnate, and actually cried and asked what happened to ‘the good little girl he raised’. From that day on, Janis decided she was done playing nice. She only tolerated him. Her mom Alohi, fought to get a separation but he never wanted to sign the papers, and claimed he didn’t want to break up a perfectly fine family. This family’s been far from fine as long as Janis could remember, but the more she cared, the sadder she became, the angrier she was. So, eventually, Janis became…numb. Nothing scared her anymore. Losing her best friend was rock bottom for the Hawaiian artist.

She sat in a corner of the library, cozy and with her art supplies spread out before her so she could continue working on her current piece. Lost in her own little world, earphones allowing her to listen to her favourite playlist, Janis was startled when she felt a tap on her shoulder. “Hey.” Regina slid into the chair next to hers. Janis smiled softly, “Hi.”

“Doing okay?” Regina asked quietly, “You left school so quick I didn’t even see where you were headed. Luckily we have your location.”

Yeah, that’s right. Regina was now her girlfriend. And has been for the last six months. They talked and worked things out, eventually admitting their feelings for each other and deciding to start dating after years of being apart.

Janis’ shoulders slouched, then she resumed working on her art. She didn’t want to look at Regina anymore, or Damian, who was standing next to the blonde. “You wanna go to the mall? Have some lunch? You barely ate anything at school today.”

Janis didn’t say anything but began to pack up her stuff. Slinging her backpack on her shoulder, she stood up and walked towards the door. Regina took the smaller girl’s hand in her own, and Damian followed close behind them both while they headed for Regina’s Jeep. No, correction— Gretchen’s BMW X5 SUV. Regina opened the door and Janis wordlessly got in. Damian got in last, after Regina did. Gretchen greeted Janis warmly, but the girl didn’t even do anything as much as a nod back. Gretchen didn’t take that to heart and just let her be. While the rest of the group chatted away, Janis tuned out the noise and drifted off to sleep. Last thing she heard was that Cady would meet them there since she was taking Aaron’s car instead.

Janis didn’t even register it, but she was then somehow in the mall’s food court with her friends, clinging onto her girlfriend’s arm while they all decided what to eat. Regina felt the weight and looked down at her side, “You okay, baby?” The blonde squinted, both puzzled and concerned. It was unusual for Janis to be this quiet, at first she thought Janis was just tired. And she was, but there seemed to be more to it…considering this level of clinginess. Janis finally responded, even though it was just a nod. “Let’s go get our food, okay? Then after that we can go look at some toys before going home?”

Janis continued following the taller girl around, their friends didn’t even bat an eye. The couple wound up sharing some Panda Express. Janis definitely did not want to talk so Regina didn’t force it…as much as she would rather have the girl be talking her ear off. This silence felt tense. Regina didn’t like it. But at least none of their friends were being annoying about it. Gretchen scooted closer to try to chat, still, Janis didn’t even join in the conversation. She had no clue what they were even chatting about now. All Janis knew was that she wanted to eat so she wasn’t hungry, look at some toys at the store and go home with Regina to cuddle.

Gretchen frowned, handing the Hawaiian a peppermint candy. Janis took it hesitantly but smiled before she returned to finishing up her food. “You guys want a ride home?” Gretchen asked.

“I’m uh, taking her to the toy store so you guys—”

Gretchen nodded in understanding, “I know. But I’m sure they don’t mind. They can take Aaron’s car home. Me and Karen will just follow along with you and Jay, drop you guys at yours after you’re done at the store.”

Regina hummed, “Okay, thanks, Gretch.”

“No problem.”

————

Their visit to the toy store was brief. Janis didn’t get anything from there, neither did she want anything. Once Gretchen had dropped them off at Regina’s, the blonde said goodbye to Karen and Gretchen before turning around to enter the house. Still, Janis remained absolutely silent.

Janis crawled under the covers immediately, Regina barely noticed the smaller girl moving around so quickly, so eager to be in the comfort of her girlfriend’s room.

“Wanna cuddle?” Regina asked, already knowing the answer would most likely be yes. Janis nodded, Regina opened up her arms and wrapped them around Janis, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “You’re okay, baby. I’ve got you.” A shaky whine fell from the smaller girl’s lips. Regina rubbed her back soothingly and tilted her chin.

“You’re okay, I promise, bubs.”

Janis chewed on her lips, brown eyes wide and glossed over, just looking into Regina’s bright blue eyes. Regina’s heart clenched as she held the girl’s face in her hand, thumb caressing her cheek. Janis gulped, trying her hardest not to burst into tears. A tear slipped anyway, and Janis hastily wiped it away.

“It’s alright, sweetie.” Regina assured, “You’re safe with me, hm?”

As Janis finally allowed herself to let go of the tears, Regina engulfed her in a hug again. Janis’ face was smushed against Regina’s chest, tears seeping into her grey sweatshirt. All Regina could do was hold her close and let her know she was there. Regina knew the week’s been exceptionally difficult. Both in school and at home, Janis was also due to get her period in about a week. So all things considered, Regina couldn’t say she wasn’t expecting something like this to happen. She was simply glad that the girl now had a safe place to destress, and heal, or cope.

Sometimes, Regina was filled with guilt. Knowing she likely had a part to play in Janis’ regression. But she was also relieved in a way, age regression was a much safer coping mechanism than many others out there. Still, Regina knew Janis self-loathed and isolated until she couldn’t take it. Then…this happens. Janis would reach her limit and revert to a younger state. One where she was young enough to not have gone through any of the bad things, any of the trauma.

Sometimes, like these ones, they had a specific routine. Janis would cry it out then they’ll continue snuggling. After that, Janis would fall asleep to one of her favourite movies in the safety of Regina’s arms. Other days were…easier. Janis was happy and simply wanted to play. There’ve been times were Janis cried so hard she’d get a coughing fit, gagging and all. That made Regina feel the worse because Janis would be inconsolable, but Janis didn’t really know how else to express it other than cry.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” Regina asked once Janis’d stopped crying.

“No.” Janis blubbered, voice still shaky and muffled since her face was still buried in the taller girl’s side.

“Okay, that’s okay.” Regina said softly, “What do you want?”

Janis only cried harder and buried her face deeper. Regina shushed her and continued the soothing motions of her hand up and down Janis’ back. Eventually, Janis fell asleep for a bit, and woke up asking for a snack. Regina took her downstairs to the kitchen, allowing Janis to pick what she wanted to eat and drink. Janis happily took the mini pack of chocolate chip cookies and a juice box from Regina then plopped on the living room couch to eat. Regina smiled in relief, quickly joining her and turning the TV on, putting on Tinkerbell.

Now, the silence was comfortable. So, Regina allowed herself to be less on alert but still stayed focused and present. In case Janis needed her help grabbing anything, or if she wanted to shower.

“…’m okay.”

“I know, my love.” Regina smooched her on the head again, “I know.”

“…thank you, Reggie.”

“Always, little one.” Regina chuckled, “I love you.”

Janis giggled, “Love you too.”

“How about some hot cocoa?”

Janis gasped, “Oooh. Yes, please!”

“Alrighty, let’s go make some. Then we can watch some more TV.”

🏷️Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @ludoesartandstuff @pda128

[wishing-well-art]

Hi! In all fairness i see where you're coming from, I'm a big disliker of most arcane criticism because they tend to ignore the good stuff about the show, this post was more of like a "damn thats a shame" after the arcane hype/hate died down, but thats on me, i should've tagged my criticism better.

When I mean they never sit down and talk to each other, i mean they never really unpack stuff like why Jinx really saw Silco as a father figure and the good and bad he did for her, and Vi understanding Jinx's mourning. Or the hard times Vi went through in that prison cell and how that affected her mindset when she joined the enforcers or kept trying to push Powder's identity onto Jinx, or Vi feeling like her identity was lost after not being able to protect her family, or Vi admitting why she resented Jinx so much for taking her sister away, stuff like that. Essentially what is the core conflict of season 1.

The verbal fight in the mines was good relief for them, but it only scratched the surface of strictly the enforcer stuff and was kind of just sister-ly name calling (ie chickenshit tricks, ill kick your ass again). The girls are extremely emotionally constipated and a serious (non-lethal this time) verbal fight where they unload their very personal negative feelings from season 1 might have worked for them: Vi calling Jinx her biggest failure, Jinx maybe yelling back that Vi actually failed her, the deep cuts. But because so much has happened and they still inherently need each other they would go lick their wounds and come back together to talk about what they really meant.

Yes Vi saw Jinx's body being taken by Silco and she could've been two and two together after the fact, but it would've been cool to see that conversation where Jinx actually tells Vi what was done to her and her side of the story.

Jinx did realize Marcus took Vi away, but she didn't know that Vi was literally around the corner running back. She didn't know Marcus had to drug her and drag her away right when Silco found Jinx. Vi never told her her reasons for leaving and walking around the corner, which is what I originally meant, she never found out Vi was just trying to cool off. Jinx could've easily thought that Vi walked away and kept walking away until she started doubling back and Marcus jumped her, which isn't the same as 'Vi walked around the corner so she didn't hit Powder again and sat there for a little bit before she saw Powder in danger and came sprinting back and was knocked out."

I wouldn't call demanding a serious drama have a comedic character or demanding an action movie have a 10 minute paint scene a reasonable comparison because the characters in arcane do talk a lot and show emotional moments, the tea party scene was perfect in that regard. I don't think they needed to have all the emotional conversations in the world, they are again, very emotionally constipated and it would have been out of place, but they did had a lot of down time in the commune, and it would've been the perfect arena to have one big heavy conversation. Honestly I think they could've just expanded the conversation about their mom to also include everything else from season 1 they needed to talk about. Those little moments of "you actually want my opinion?" were so good, because it's the girls being vulnerable but not opening up all the way, which is in character for them. And I think handfuls of moments like that, where they're being awkward around each other and trying to quietly accommodate for the other sister until either it all boils over or they just start talking and can't stop; that would've been perfect. But the big thing about the commune conversation ("we could stay here") is that the problems they were working through also needed to be about what went down in season 1.

The core of season 1 is that they didn't understand each other. Time and imprisonment separated them for too long, and with everything else happening around them they miscommunicated, and that had fatal side effects. But season 2 is about them coming back together, but in order for that to happen they needed to talk about what went wrong in season 1, and it would've also made the ending for them hit harder in contrast, because it would mean they did at least get that closure in being able to finally understand each other in some semblance.

The season was also very different, with them leaning into the arcane, magic aspects of the show a lot heavier, with the multiverse travel and Viktor's jesus powers, going over their trauma in a quiet safe environment wouldn't have felt out of place because honestly season 2 isn't really a tragedy anymore. It has tragic moments, but a good amount of endings felt triumphant for the characters, even if it was self destructive. Plus the commune wasn't really safe anyway, so it would make those quiet moments hit harder.

This really is mostly just a list of "man it would've been cool if that happened" stuff though, overall I liked the season

The one thing about Arcane season 2 that I'm still a little bit mad about is that Vi and Jinx never really talked. They had a total of 2 conversations in season 1, one where they got interrupted and Jinx was never able to tell Vi what happened in the 7 years Vi was in prison, and the second where Vi still had no clue what was going on. But that's fine, miscommunication that befalls tragedy, it's intentional, and character-wise Jinx wasn't in that kind of headspace for that to happen. But then season 2 rolls around and at no point in season 2 did they sit down and talk about what went wrong, why they made the decisions they did, and try to understand each other. We never even got a loud fight where they unloaded all the negative feelings they had towards each other, or a quiet painful confession that they felt like failures towards each other. They had so much down time that we should've seen all that, the fight in the mines and the talk in the commune should've been that, but they only barely skimmed the surface. Did Vi even find out about Jinx being injected with shimmer? Did Jinx ever find out why Vi left her that night? No, they didn't, and that's just such a shame.