#girl from nowhere shitpost

[imlivinginyourtrashcan]

Me when the girl is from nowhere ahaha sorry never seen it

Anyways i got done season 2 episode 3 and this is how i predict the yuri/nanno dynamic going; (my friend who got me in the show confirmed im not far off)

CHARACTER SPOILERS PLS WATCH THIS SHOW ITS SO GOOD BUT LOTS OF TRIGGER WARNINGS CUZ IT GETS ROUGHHHH

YURI: If you were my wife, i'd put poison in your coffee

(NANNO Giggles)

NANNO: Yuri, if you were my wife,

NANNO: I'd DRINK it.

(SIDE NOTE THAT DRAWING OF NANNO LOOKS SO GOOD FOR BEING A SILLY DOODLE)

[gyarucoded]

me pretending as if girl from nowhere & the umbrella academy aren't my fave shows so their new seasons will come faster

[floorpancakes]

stayc girls

[potatocatullus]

'At our wedding' this and 'at our wedding' that, just know that this wedding will be a pain in the ass to plan

[paledoptera]

a while ago me and @itrosaic were planning to make a shitpost comic in the same vein as the christmas party au

the basic concept was "fountaintale dess and stella have a girls night party at toriels house and it gets very out of hand"

we never ended up making the comic but i think the most funny thing from it was the crackships we came up with:

CAMELIA x ESKA (both from vision crew)

i have been shipping these two for a long time and i do not remember why. i think it genuinely started just because rv pine joked on seperate occassions that they both smoke weed.

anyways in the comic they were like a married elderly couple who dont have sex anymore, they just exist and smoke weed together and cause mischief.

TORIEL (deltarune vers) x CEROBA (undertale yellow)

toriel switched teams after the divorce. she and ceroba were gonna get way too drunk and probably do freaky stuff. i like the idea of the ceroba and tori being wine moms

STARLO (ut yellow) x ROOK (deltarune ozymandias)

im gonna be honest. in the comic there was an arc where rook finds out that there's a GIRLS ONLY party and gets jealous and makes a BOYS ONLY party which ends up absolutely terrible because noone there has any chemistry. out of nowhere rook and starlo would just start making out and its never explained because i thought itd be hillarious

PAPYRUS (undertale) x MARTLET (ut yellow)

there was another ongoing storyline where papyrus just kind of shows up at the girls night party uninvited, but because he brought homemade snacks everyone lets him in and loves him.

camelia lets martlet try weed, so she does and then immediately gets incredibly anxious. of course camelia and eska proceed to bully her by taking the birdcage from kris' room, putting it on her head and repeating "polly want a cracker" over and over

papyrus would be the one who ACTUALLY looks after her and makes sure shes okay after that. i think itd be a very one-sided crush from martlet though cuz i cannot see papyrus as anything other than aroace LMAO

we had a ton of dumb ideas for this stupid fufking comic, maybe itll see the light of day someday

[lightsoutletsgo]

Congrats on 500 followers! Such an exciting milestone! Can I ask for a celebration ship (ideally 2 lol)? I’d describe myself as introverted, intellectual, and a walking shitpost lol I love music (literally all kinds), books (I have a booktube channel), coffee, video games, and touching grass. I’m plus size and I go to the gym everyday and I’ve been doing archery for almost 25 years (I’m not as old as that makes me sound; I’ve been shooting for most of my life) and I am an Olympic-style competitor (I’m not good enough for the Olympics yet, but a girl can dream). I have a degree in English lit/creative writing and I work in the legal field. My friends would describe me as the dependable one, the one who always shows up, the one who gives the beat hugs, and the one most likely to go to war on their behalf. In a partner I look for someone I can laugh A LOT with, someone who can talk about literally anything and who is interested in lots of things, and someone who REALLY likes cuddling.

Thank you so much in advance! Your work is so good and I’m so excited to keep reading. Here’s to another 500!

🏹 anon

hello love! thank you so so much for sending in your request! omg you sound so interesting and cool 😭 I really had to do a little thinking about who I was gonna put you with 👀 but I think I got it? happy reading! mimi

LEWIS HAMILTON ᝰ.ᐟ₊ ⊹ - calls you darling and love - loves, loves, LOVES your thighs! they're so cosy and comfy. he's also obsessed with your hips - his love language is physical touch and acts of service - nothing he loves more than a cuddle session with you and he is a firm believer that there's nothing a cuddle can't fix

as an athlete himself, lewis knows how much time and dedication you have to put into becoming one of the best and so he loves supporting you on your journey for that. he comes to as many practices and competitions as he can and he loves to offer up his physiotherapist for you to use too! of course now and again he loves to try things out himself and rather annoyingly it doesn't take him long to get the hang of it! of course it's always nice seeing his arms and hands flex when he tries so do you actually mind?

the two of you spend plenty of evenings listening to music together whether it's new tunes on spotify or golden oldies on vinyl. lewis loves to gently tap out the rhythms on your hands and hips as he holds them and it's easily a soothing motion that helps if you ever get overwhelmed while out with him.

lewis understands that your job can be stressful and so he loves to help you unload as much as he can at the end of the day. if he's far away he's right there on facetime, smiling at you as you cuddle with roscoe on the couch and rant to him. or if he's in person, he's offering a back massage, shoulder massage, starting to make dinner and telling you to go an shower the day away while he puts your cosy clothes in the dryer.

"love?" lewis emerges from the garden where he's been doing a light workout, "where'd you go?" he's not concerned at the lack of response, he knows you've had a lot of work you've been focusing on lately and so he surmises you've probably fallen asleep somewhere. roscoe is nowhere to be found either, having grown bored of watching lewis' workout halfway through and plodding back into the house, so lewis knows he'll find the two of you curled up either on the couch or the bed.

walking through the living room, the couch is empty and so he heads straight for the bedroom. he quietly opens the door, smiling to himself at the sound of your heavy breathing and roscoe's snoring. he closes the door and showers as fast as he possibly can. his body craving yours and needing to be close to you. once he's showered, he emerges into your shared bedroom once more, pulling his sweatpants on and carefully sliding into bed behind you. wrapping an arm around you, you shift in your sleep, nose wrinkling slightly as you're disturbed. it doesn't take more than a soft 'shhh' and kiss to the head from lewis before you're settled once more, body naturally wriggling closer to him a little more as you seek his body heat. lewis closes his eyes with a happy hum. this is his favourite place.

࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟ

CHARLES LECLERC ᝰ.ᐟ₊ ⊹ - calls you mon amour or mon ange - charles loves your smile! whether it's your soft half-asleep smile first thing in the morning or a massive grin that greets him when he gets home after a long triple-header - his love language is quality time - he could spend hours praising you for the smallest things, just to watch the way you melt and flourish under his love and adoration. to him, you're a goddess!

charles loves that you're his shy little bookworm! he's that much in love with you that he's turned one of the big windows of his monaco apartment into your reading nook; complete with cosy chair, shelves, lighting and a small coffee table with a mug warmer to keep your coffee at the right temperature all the time! one of his favourite ways to pass the time when he's home is to sit and play piano while you read. he tells you it's a good exercise in practicing different styles and emotions of song. he'll ask you what mood the scene you're reading is and start playing accordingly.

he loves to watch you make videos for your youtube channel and often adds his opinion. your followers love it so much that it turns into a regular weekly segment on your channel! charles is in awe that your degree is in creative writing and is summoning up the courage to ask you to write a bedtime story he can gift and read to his niece for her birthday.

he knows you're the dependable friend, he sees it in the way you are with the people around you. but he also knows that that can sometimes be a little tiring and difficult when you yourself are struggling and so he becomes your dependable person. he loves being able to do the little things for you to make it easier.

the rain gently patters against the window of your apartment as grey clouds roll over the harbours of monaco. but here in your apartment with charles, it's warm and cosy and homely. it's a rare weekend that he's home and you've been spending time existing together. you've been reading while he plays piano, a new composition brewing in his head and now in his phone voice memos but now a sleepy atmosphere is settling over the apartment.

charles leans against the big L-shaped couch as you lay in-between his legs. his hands gently run up and down your sides as you lazily hum the tune he was playing barely five minutes earlier. he lets out a breath of laughter and smiles down at you, one hand coming up to stroke your head as you tilt your head up. he stares at you for a moment, just enjoying having you in his lap. his finger gently traces your face. across your cheeks, up your nose, across your bottom lip. he grins at you, completely lovesick as your eyelashes flutter shut and you sigh. leaning down he kisses you softly once, then again and once more.

[penumbramewtwos]

When does Okita accept and happily embrace her Mewtwo side?

Gonna make and artwork and maybe a shitpost for this soon :>

She fully accepts it around the year 2085 (52 years old) roughly anyway. Kind of like giving up smoking or mental health in general, she has a few near attempts at finally accepting her mewtwo side. but they are long or short lived throughout her life until around that point in time. Funnily enough, she battles along side her trainer Rachael while she's still in this mental stage, mainly for food and accomodation money. I did have a short story about that moment she accepted herself here on tumblr, but i'm having trouble finding it :< so If you're interested I'll paste it below the cut ^^

Inside the mind of a Hybrid girl. Okita's Acceptance: [2nd person [perspective] Taking a look around an abandoned gym, the first thing you notice are the shattered mirrors; enough to give bad luck to anyone for all eternity… It's desolate and quiet with only an echo of what was once a bustling Pokemon Gym. You look down at your three digit paw and squeeze it into a fist. The soft lavender-pink micro-fur leaves you feeling empty, as you read a familiar sign, scattered over the floor. 'Symphony City Gym'… After a few deep breaths through your snout, you swallow in fear, and feel obliged to mend one mirror with telekinesis, doing so with your eyes clamped shut…

"There's nowhere to run now", You think to yourself… Even though you know how much it hurts to see it… … Reluctantly, you open your eyes to see a 2-metre-tall, pale pink feline-esque reflection staring back at you. Your mind races, hoping this tearful being will let you free from it's gaze… There's no need to get upset… You are who you are… "Why is this me? What did I do to deserve this!", You yell at the reflection with disgust in your telepathy. "I was Human… … I am Human! I am Human I am Human I am Human!" With a deep howl you let out a cry, desperately trying to use the human voice that you once had, but to no avail, "MEEEW…! … MEW MEW MEW, MEW MEW!" It's no use. You default back to your telepathy, wailing your despair through tears that cloud your vision, "You're not me! … I'm not you! I'll never be you!" Through your anger boiling into frustration you smash all the remaining mirrors into smithereens along with the gym wall fittings, almost collapsing it in the process… Panting, crying, and being choked up on your tears you unintentionally look back into the smashed mirror to see the sad Mewtwo bawling it's eyes out… You see a note on the ground addressed to you, for your 18th birthday… But that was some time ago… Picking it up with your bulbous fingertips… You recall trying to hide this card in the floorboards of the gym, too upset to read it again… It reads: Dear O'Key You're another year older and still just as humbling to us as ever. Happy 18th birthday our special girl, enjoy your day. We both want you to know how much we love all of you, no matter what. We failed you once as parents… And vowed that no one shall ever take you from us again… You're always our Okita. It doesn't matter what you are, all that matters is who you are. Someone kind. Someone generous. The circumstances of your DNA matter not to anyone. You're still Okita. Our Daughter. Love from Mum and Dad. A single happy tear rolls down your face… Once more. You look back into the shattered mirror. But this time, you not only see yourself. You feel it too.

[rohirric-hunter]

Tagged by @a-lonely-dunedain to plug OC names into this heacanon generator and see if it fits.

Léonys:

Léonys doesn't own a single pair of matching socks.

Okay, so in actuality no, Léonys has lots of pairs of matching socks and is actually pretty neat about her clothes and stuff when she's at home. BUT I can see this becoming one of those annoying widely-accepted fanon headcanons in direct contradiction to canon because 95% of the time the reader is exposed to her in a, "Has been living in the woods for 3-8 business days, has not spoken to another human being in almost a week, ate bark that was still attached to the tree, laid flat on her back with her mouth open while it was raining to get a drink (for fun)," kind of state, or the many stages of breakdown I dragged her through in Léonys of Rohan. I think if my stuff had a bigger following a lot of people would have trouble reconciling that Léonys with the way she acts when she's, like, in a house.

Léonys does not know what sleep is.

She really does not LMAO. Take a nap, girl

Léonys is smart but also very stupid.

I mean this one's vague enough that it could apply to basically anyone I think. Which means it's a winner! Léonys figured out, on her own, within a few days of properly meeting him, that Aragorn was the heir of the old kings. She also got involved in all that because she saw brigands with hostages and was like, "Go and get help? Tell the town guard? Involve the other hunters? Nah! I'll just follow them! :) and take care of it myself :)."

Léonys crashed a riding lawn mower into their fence.

Absolutely not the ride-on lawnmower goes nowhere except where she told it to go. The ✨🌟🤗🐎💖bond ✨🌟🤗🐎💖 that exists between the Rohirrim and their horses ride-on lawnmowers

Hathellang:

Hathellang is a cry baby.

I mean I guess it depends on what about. This also sort of sounds like a headcanon made up by someone who doesn't actually like the character, so, you know. Subjective. I don't think so. But there's not a lot I would label crybaby anyway.

Hathellang has a roblox account.

Disclaimer: I've never played Roblox. But yeah, I feel like he has one. He used to play a lot more than he does now. But that was years ago. These days no one knows he has it except for Léonys. But sometimes when one of the other kids complains that someone was too mean to them on Roblox he logs on and, well, see,,, if the offender didn't have bannable offenses to work with already then suddenly,,,,, mysteriously,,,,,,,,, they start committing bannable offenses. For literally no reason whatsoever, they must have just felt like it, suddenly. Who knows! Anyway, reported.

(I.E. Hathellang would be a holy terror on the internet, somehow able to talk the trolls into getting themselves banned while only barely toeing the line himself. A power that could be used for good or evil. He uses it to back up his kid siblings on disagreements over the Walmartland makeup obby.)

Hathellang believes in Santa.

He does not! But he's really dedicated to keeping the Santa Experience alive for the younger kids. Also I feel like in a modern AU he'd be super into the Santa Clause movies.

Belharen:

Belharen is afraid of doing anything without their parent's permission.

Belharen is involved in the plot because she ran away from home. Without her parents' permission. That doesn't mean she's not afraid of doing things without her parents' permission. But she still does them.

Ferelin:

Ferelin is tumblr famous.

Oh my god yes. Spot on. IDK what I can add. His shitposts are legendary. Made a new friend. Have informed him that I do not know what a roof is. Think he has little enough knowledge of the Shire that this should fly with him. Eager to see how this plays out. Update: Friend in question visiting my house right now as we speak. Made comment about the roof. Think he remembers what I told him when we first met. Except funnier, probably, IDK. I wonder what his URL would be. He casually refers to his improbable and near-miraculous ability to heal basically anything by singing to it very stubbornly and people think it's some kind of extended bit. He lets them think so because they started to come up with theories about it and it's kind of funny.

Dahlia:

Dahlia knows fnaf lore.

Probably, lol. I feel like she wouldn't play the games, though. I've never played them, this is vibes-based. She just knows the lore. For some reason. Maybe she watches hour-long YouTube videos breaking it down to relax.

And because I've been thinking about her recently some Pegweneth:

Pegweneth instinctively cleans messes in their own house as well as other peoples.

Pegweneth judges people for having messes in their houses TBH. Privately. In her head. She does not clean them. Her house is not clean.

Pegweneth knocks people over by hugging them.

If she knows them very well and is confident they're okay with it.

Pegweneth is not good with social cues.

She knows what they are. She just thinks they're stupid she's above them she responded to them appropriately when she really didn't.

Hmmm, seems like a lot of people I would normally tag in these things have been tagged already. I know many people with OCs and I know that many of them dislike this sort of fandom/headcanon stuff. Open invitation to do it if you want to?

[rodanhoax]

Wow... Let me just say, before you possibly read this, this was originally just another copy pasted rwby quote shitpost thing like I usually do. Said copy pasted quote will hopefully be more obvious near the end. But then, as I was writing, I just kept going, and going, and going, and going, until a hour in I realized, I was still going. But, I had already written most of it, so I thought I may as well finish it. 

I don’t really know how many will like, or even care about this, but I hope the ones that do enjoy the read. It’s pretty rough not gonna lie, don’t got anybody to beta-read this. I’ll probably not do something this again, except possibly on a random whim out of nowhere, much like this. Either way, I stalled long enough. 

Behold what happens when an idea expands further than intended with no certainty about the quality!

Atop a lonely single tower, sat a princess. For an almost undermined amount of time, this one room was all that she knew. All that she could exist in. At one side sat her her handmaiden, currently making the room as clean and neat as she could. The girl was a cat faunus about her age, with long black hair and vibrant amber eyes, along with cute little cat ears atop her head. The two weren’t particularly close, the girl seemed to hold a quiet distain for the princess if anything. Not that the princess could blame her, seeing as her family practically enslaved her and forced her to work for the princess. On the other side were two guards, perched in front of the door to the room, her only means of leaving. Before her was but a single window, perched up to allow her at least some connection to the outside. She brushed her silky white hair as she looked out at the world, wishing longingly to be apart of it. All that she knew about the outside came from books her handmaiden leant to her occasionally. 

While many were rather fantastical, leaving her to believe them to be fiction, there were also tales of numerous knights and heroes who could certainly exist. Her favorite, certainly being the story about the Rusted Knight. While many were uncertain about his actual appearance, some accounts claimed him to be rather handsome. Others would even state to have gotten the chance bed him, claiming him to be a rather well-endowed and... virile lover. Oh, how she wished she could be part of his tales. Rescued from her lonely tower by him, giving her the chance to not only explore the world, but take back and restore her kingdom, as well as her family name, from her bastard of a father. Perhaps this would also be enough for the knight to feel he has redeemed himself, and settle down. ‘Preferably with me...’ The princess thought, a red tinge arising on her cheeks as she imagined the knight taking her, and blessing her with many heirs. A sigh left her mouth as her imagination died down, revealing her cage once more. As much as she wished she could escape into her mind and leave this world behind, she couldn’t ignore where she was. Her fantasy was just that. A fantasy. One she couldn’t hope to leave from.

However...

Just as her hope was nearly diminished, the subtle sound of a horn ran through the air. This surprised the princess out of her stupor as wondered where that sound came from. Then she heard it again. Louder this time. As she listened in closer, her head almost fully out the window, she could make out yet another sound. A sound of collective stomps upon the ground, getting louder and louder with each step. A march. And upon the third horn, she could just barely fully recognize the sound, as well as it’s significance. And her worries were confirmed, as but a minute later, she could make out a large army making their way to her tower. Knights clad in all sorts of iron armor, brandishing weapons from swords and shields, to spears, to even mases. The princess could feel her heart begin to race, wondering just what they could want. Money perhaps? Maybe they’re here just for the thrill of a battle? Art they perhaps here for... her?

The princess did her best to steady her breathing, knowing she must look at this situation calmly, and vigilantly. She looked over the army, spying out any potential weak spots she could make out from her high vantage point. What she found however, had changed the course of her approach. As she scoped through the army, she saw one knight in the front, seemingly leading the rest behind him. That alone didn’t really catch her attention. What did, was the giant jackalope he was riding. There was also the man’s armor. The white plating with gold lining alone was attention grabbing, none could ignore the clear rust that covered every inch of the armor. If that wasn’t enough, the princess could make out one more thing. His shield held a rather familiar crest, that of two crescent moons. A gasp left her mouth as she comprehended just who this man was.

“The Rusted Knight!” She exclaimed, much to the confusion of her two guards, whom seemed to have spent more time leering at her beauty than noticing the army at their doorstep.

Looking away from her however, they quickly realized the situation, fear clearly emanating off them. It appears they wouldn’t have to worry however, as a large number of the guards stationed at the tower quickly left to fend off the approaching army. The two guards let out a sigh of relief, believing themselves to be safe from the upcoming carnage. The princess however was quite horrified at the display.

“What art they doing? Do they not knoweth whom they are up against? You must telleth to them to retreat or surrender! Before they all lose their lives!” She shouted at the guards.

The however brushed this off, believing their men to be of a superiors caliber. And if they were not, they’d at least by the two guards time to escape. Hearing this disgusted the princess, not believing the audacity these two portrayed. Not only ignoring an order from their princess, but also condemning their comrades to die. And yet, considering the attitude, as well as the degenerate behavior all her guards have portrayed in her time here, she shouldn’t be surprised. A guard had suddenly burst into her chambers in a state of clear panic. The two standing by the door look at him perturbed, wondering what was the alarm. Quickly trying his best to recollect as his thoughts, he stands front and center. “One of the soldiers outside has breached the tower!” He shouted, the shock of all in the room. Looking out at the continuing battle however, something had caught her eye. Or rather, something missing.

Where had the Rusted Knight gone?

The sound of a slam had rang through the room, turning the heads of all present to the double-door entrance to the chamber. Another slam against the door could be heard, nearly knocking it off it hinges. The two had attempted to put their guard up for whoever was coming, however, they didn’t expect both doors to violently fly open smashing them into the wall. The princess gasped as she watched their broken bodies slump to ground, a trail of blood leaking onto the floor. Looking back towards the door, she was nearly blown away at the sight of their trespasser. Before her stood nonother than the Rusted Knight himself. However, his trek up there had clearly been a trying one, as his chestplate had been slashed and torn apart, revealing his rather broad and muscled chest. With scratches and slight blood sprinkled about, there was no fat or softness that could be spotted from his rippled pecs, all the way down to his tight abs. Looking even lower however, she could see a light outline of what appeared to be his... manhood bulging from his pants. The stories clearly did not do him justice.

The princess could feel her bodies temperature raise at the sight, feeling the need to cool off any way she could. She undid her bolero, dropping to the ground. A soft, sensual moan left her lips as she could feel the cold air from the snow brush up against her now bare shoulders. The coldness failed to cool her off however, it only building up.

Without a second to waste, the Rusted Knight unsheathed his fabled broken sword. Now, many would immediately brush this off as a rather foolish plan. The Rusted Knight however, had built up a legend for a reason. Quickly, he flung his blade directly toward the last guard with blinding speed. The guard didn’t even know what hit him until it was already too late. The blade pierced right through his armor and pinned him right up against the wall. The force of which had nearly blown the princess away, the princess could only moan as she felt the hem of her dress be torn off in the process. She could only imagine how flushed her face must be as she took a look at her now torn dress, making her appear to be not but a harlot.

“Lady Schnow,” A deep voice penetrated through the knight’s rusted helmet. Reaching up, he began to lift his helmet up, much to the shock and anticipation of the princess. A small breath of surprise left her as she gazed upon his face. Before her was man hardened through many battles and hardships. She didn’t know his age, but could guess he was about ten years her elder. Her eyes lingered on his soft-looking, dirty-blonde hair, a few white strands strewn about. There was also his long beard, the thought to run her fingers through it briefly passing through her mind. The most enchanting thing about him however, was his eyes. A beautiful sapphire blue, as clear and as wonderous as the sky itself. Behind them, she could feel a piercing gaze looking straight through her soul.

Dropping his helmet to the ground, the knight began to make his way over to the princess. Standing before her, she is forced to acknowledge his dominating height over her, being a full head taller. “I... am John of the Ark Clan.” Said the now revealed John, taking the princess’ hands into his own as he looked down at her. “Legend of your beauty hath traveled ‘cross the sea.” He stated as he raised a hand to her. Brushing a loose strand off her face, the knight gently caresses her cheek with back of his knuckles, the princess failing to resist shuddering at the action. The heat in her neither region was becoming too much to handle. She desperately needed to sate this desire bubbling up inside of her. The princess knew succumbing to this... brute, would most surely be unbecoming of someone of her status. As well as be something her father would most certainly disown her for. But then again...

She never was particularly a daddy’s girl.

The princess took one more good long look at the man before her, her eyes once again rest on his bulge. She subconsciously bit her lower lip as she brought a finger up to her cheek, giving the knight a rather coy look. She subtly moved her finger over to his bare chest, dragging it down teasingly slow. “And legend of your... longsword, hath traveled here~” She sensually claimed, emphasizing her sentence by grabbing ahold of his “sword”. A gasp left out of the knight, not expecting the princess to so... forward. Unsure what to think at first, the knight gazes down at the princess with growing arousal, a gaze  she happily returns.

“Lady... Thy boldness” He stated, before immediately being silenced by her pressing a finger to his lips. 

“Shusheth!” She shouted. The heat was now unbearable. It must satisfied here and now. And with the growing hardness she is now feeling in her hand, she knew exactly how to do it. There was but a moment of silence between the two, neither moving, or talking. That moment of calm was almost instantly broken however, as the princess immediately leapt into the knights arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. Holding her up by her tight and supple posterior, the two quickly came together for a deep sensual kiss. Their tongues collided in a lustful clash, neither letting up or backing down both as tried to dominate the other.

As this went on, the knight subtly steps closer and closer towards the princess’ large bed. Losing patience however, he leapt them both into the air, crashing down on top the bed, the princess now underneath him. As the two continued their competitive lust-filled kiss, they began disrobing one another, stripping the other of any possible blocks from their body. While this went on however, both neglected to realize not only was the princess’ handmaiden still in the room, but was now watching as the two continued to give in to their base, carnal desires. Completely ignoring her prescience. Instead of feeling awkward however, the faunus couldn’t help but feel her own arousal building at the display. Slowly, she subconsciously reached her hand beneath her skirt, watching them finally rip off every article of clothing they had. 

The knight and princess looked down at one another as they finally separated for a breather, both breathing heavily as they gazed into one another's eyes. The princess let out a gasp as she felt a hot object rub against her naked entrance. Looking down at said object, the blush on her face got even hotter. Gazing back into John’s eyes, she felt like the two didn’t even need words to understand one another. He knew what she wanted. She knew what he wanted. And they both knew the other knew. Princess Schnow looked up at John with a sultry smile, feeling him about to claim her womanhood for himself.

“John of the Ark Clan!-”

Weiss: Wonder me with your massive knightly-!

Yang: Woah woah! Slow your roll there!

Weiss: *Looks up from her story at her team* What’s wrong?

Ruby: Weiss, you never said your story was... f-filthy.

Weiss: Uh, because it isn’t. This is a historically accurate medieval tale... with slight erotic undertones. 

Yang: Oh, there were no slight undertones in the end there.

Weiss: Well, surely you lack the ability to look underneath the surface, as expected from someone as unrefined as you.

Yang: *Quirks an eyebrow* Ok miss refine, tell me this. Why is this story about how you wanna bang Jaune?

Weiss: Excuse me?

Yang: What, I thought that much was pretty obvious.

Weiss: Clearly you thought wrong. This story is about the beautiful princess, Lady Schnow of the Atlesian Kingdom, and the her rescue by the graceful, gentle... *Blushes* skillful hands of the Rusted Knight, John of the Ark Clan. Where did you pick up that it was me and Jaune.

Yang: ... Ok, so there’s a princess?

Weiss: Yes.

Yang: With long white hair, and is called Lady Schnow?

Weiss: Uh huh.

Blake: And there is a rusted knight that has blonde hair with blue eyes?

Weiss: Right.

Ruby: And is named John?

Weiss: ... So there may be some superficial similarities.

Yang: *Rolls her eyes, deciding to give up before she gets a headache*

Blake: Why am I a handmaiden watching you two on the side?

Weiss: First of all, you think just because you both are cat faunus with long black hair, and amber eyes, and collect books must mean I based her off you? Conceited much?

Blake: I’m being conceited here?

Weiss: Second of all, it helped to add to the fiery passion built up in that scene.

Blake:  And a faunus handmaid because...?

Weiss: Historical accuracy.

Yang: Alright, I think Ruby and I had our fill for the day. *Grabs Ruby’s hood and begins dragging her out*

Weiss: But I haven’t finished yet. I was just about to get to how Lady Schnow undoes John’s pants to reveal-

Yang: Later!

Ruby: B-but I wanna-!

(Slam!)

Weiss: *Sighs in defeat and prepares to pack away her story. Only to see Blake having not moved from her seat*

Weiss: Oh, you’re still here?

Blake: Yeah. I actually want to hear where this goes. *Casually settles in her seat* Continue.

Weiss: *Smiles* Glad to see someone in this team has taste. *Clears her throat as she resumes, only just scratching the surface of her depraved tale*

[kimbapisnotsushi]

Hello, here to help you through the midterms! I would like to hear about Tsukki if you haven't shared hcs for him a thousand times already and/or Fukunaga :)

my babies!!! i'd be more than happy to, let's get it :))

tsukishima:

avid romance defender. he may be kind of mean when it comes to rejecting confessions and girls and doesn't totally get why he's so popular for it but as a bookworm he's very aware of the issues that the genre in literature (and across other mediums as well) faces and WILL have a whole rant locked and loaded if you ask him

thinks strawberry shortcake needs to stay in its purest form to be any good and absolutely will not accept any variations like "white chocolate strawberry shortcake" or "raspberry strawberry shortcake" or anything that alters plain ol' strawberry shortcake

nerdy enough that he has a map tacked up in his room with pins in all the places he wants to visit someday

does not know how to use emojis or kaomojis or even just the simple :) at all and if anyone gets a message from him with one they can safely assume his phone was stolen by yamaguchi, hinata, noya, or suga

everyone is really surprised when they find out that he and lev actually text quite a lot and tsukki is like "look if i don't help him with hw he is NOT going to pass first year"

during tokyo training camp he tries to sneak into the high school's library LMAAAAO

has the most pretentious-ass music taste you will ever find but DOES like a handful of mainstream pop songs

(personally i think he's a yorushika fan but that's just me)

likes getting hw done at cute coffeeshops/cafes especially when his room feels really overwhelming

fukunaga:

once told tora very seriously that he knew a great trick for freaking people out and then proceeded to whip out a mandarin from seemingly nowhere and bit into the whole thing like an apple and tora's resulting reaction was what made fukunaga think about getting into comedy

he did it to lev too except he used a banana and lev's been scared of him ever since

knows, like, every single classic-52-deck card game in existence for some reason

do NOT play poker with him he has an excellent resting face you WILL lose

also really good at sleight-of-hand and simple magic tricks

probably has the most knowledge/experience in non-japanese cuisines let's be real

also has a bucket hat collection that ranges from "cool and stylish" to "walking shitpost"

he's got one with cat ears attached to the top that he's very fond of

uses the team as trial-and-error for his recipes and once accidentally gave them all food poisoning

(nobody blamed him ofc but he felt really bad and made them all cupcakes after)

likes going to hipster artsy events like open mic nights at coffee shops and bookstores and free gallery viewings and band battles and whatever

has to resist the urge to pat inuoka's and lev's heads like a dog sometimes

[starseneyes]

The Weight of Fame

For some time, a thought has rolled around in my head on the matter of fame. Growing up, I had a very unique viewpoint to this, because as all of you know, I am nowhere near famous. But due to my mother's profession, I grew up around a lot of famous people.

In some cases, they were quite famous long before our paths crossed. Sometimes, fame crept up slowly. And, in some cases, I watched them go from relative obscurity to instant fame. It was dizzying, to be certain.

There is a hazard in the performance profession that if you keep at it long enough, you just might become famous. For some people, this is the entire goal—fame and fortune. But, for me, my biggest dream when I pursued acting was to be "oh, it's that girl from such-and-such" and never to have my name be a household one.

Why? Well, fame is lousy.

Don't get me wrong! There are certain benefits, of course, especially where endorsements and freebies come into play. The thought that a famous person with millions of followers might use your product and post about it is always enticing—especially for small businesses.

But the actual labor of being famous is a task. Very often, fame is unpredictable and arises in its own, un-chartable fashion. In some very rare situations, you can opt into it, like when taking on an iconic role.

Doctor Who comes to mind most readily. There is a certain fanaticism that is next-level when it comes to a long-living, iconic export such as this one. Matthew and I were studying at Leicester when so-called New Who debuted, so Christopher Eccleston was our first introduction to The Doctor.

When he regenerated into David Tennant, that was my first introduction to the Scottish actor. He instantly became someone we recognized in our household at an instant, even as he popped up in roles in other media we watched. It was never, "Oh, it's that guy!" It was always, "Oh, it's David Tennant."

With a single role, David Tennant became a household name for us. But, I feel like that's a known hazard of becoming, "The Doctor". I may be wrong, but listening to Doctor 12—Peter Capaldi—speak on how "Matt" and "David" prepped him on the particulars of the famous role leads me to believe this is not something into which an actor walks unknowingly.

No, there is a certain feverishness fanatacism associated with Whodom, and there are definitely expectations one should have for themselves walking in.

Privacy? Nope. Not going to happen. Everywhere you walk, folks will flood you for autographs. Social Media? Oh, run. You might as well run! You're never going to be able to simply scroll through your mates' latest shitposts and family photos without being assaulted by a million photos of yourself and others' opinions on every one.

In essence, by accepting a role that is a tremendous accomplishment, you have to also accept the weight of unrelenting, unforgiving fame. Every moment will be photographed or video-taped. If you take a step, it will be recorded, scrutinized, and analyzed at length. Fame is the robber of privacy and peace of mind.

And yet there are people who seek it. And, more power to them, I suppose. But, it's one thing to walk in knowingly. It's quite another to have it explode into place or, worse, creep in unexpectedly.

Let's first address the overwhelming surprise of sudden fame. In the 90's, my mother was the assistant makeup on a television show in our hometown. For her, it was a job that would help her support her two children. She was a single mom, after all, and one of the benefits of living in our city was that films and television shows actually shot there.

Much of the year, she took work wherever she could. Sometimes she was in Arizona. Sometimes in England. Sometimes we didn't know where she was. But, to land a series in-town was huge and meant we would see more of her, even with 18+ hour days and fraturday schedules.

During the filming of the first season, before the Pilot aired on television screens across the nation, Mom invited the four leads to our house for spaghetti dinner.

At one point, someone decided to turn on a computer and input each of their names to see what came up in search. For all but one of the actors, it was next-to-nothing. The fourth actor had come into fame as a child, so there was plenty there, and I can assure you they endured a fair amount of teasing that night for what the early internet unearthed.

Within a few months, they were all wildly famous. The internet was filled with their faces, magazines called for photo shoots, and all my friends at school were talking about that show.

Everything changed for them in an instant. Yes, the locals were still decent. I mean, in Wilmington, almost everyone worked in the industry at that point. Seeing a famous person in the grocery store was always met with, "Oh, neat", and then you moved on as if nothing happened. No autographs. No photos. Folks were in town to work and didn't need bothering.

But the tourists. Oh, the tourists! Suddenly, everything these actors did was monitored, broadcasted. "Who is sleeping with who?" rumors erupted. Discussion of acne. All the embarrassing things we hope nobody will notice about us became water cooler conversation for perfect strangers across the globe.

It's not that they didn't know it was a possibility. They're actors, after all, and that kind of fame can come. But it was still... surprising.

Now, I think they handled it as best as they could, truly. But it did change everything for them. Fame always does.

But the third type of fame is the one that I think must be the hardest—unexpected fame. The kind where someone is in no way seeking a public-facing job and somehow, somewhere along the way, they become famous without wanting it.

There are lots of people this can happen to—from scientists to authors to architects. Some people simply want to create something incredible that people connect and relate to, and find themselves thrown into the throes of fame without time to grapple with what it means.

Or, worse, after years of relative invisibility find themselves thrust into the constant churn of fame's unbearable machinations.

"Smile!" "Answer my question!" "Why are you ignoring me?" "You're a diva because you didn't answer my exact question the way I told you that I wanted you to answer it."

These people never sought fame. They sought survival. They sought satisfaction in their profession. They sought to do the job well. And, yet, fame found them. Oh, how difficult that must be.

So, to the fame-seekers, I ask you to think long and hard about it before you pursue it. Are you ready to lose your privacy? Are you ready to have every decision you make placed under scrutiny, down to which clothes you wear (or don't) and how you choose to style your hair?

And to those interacting with famous folks—give them a break. Yes, some of them sought it. Some of them accepted it. But that doesn't mean they are any less human and deserving of kindness, consideration, and courtesy.

Being famous has its perks, sure, but it also strips a lot away. It takes, and it takes, and it takes. So, remember to give famous folks some space, too. Let them be people, still, because that is what they are. At the core... still human.

Because their family and dearest friends won't remember them the same way a fan will. A fan will remember the performer and all the pieces that they gleaned from magazines and interviews. But their friends and family will remember the person, the individual, the heart and soul beneath it all with which they had a meaningful relationship.

They're still human. It's okay to let them be human. At least, that's my take on it.

[superpeanutgarden]

Night Blogging

okay, *technically* I'm not using the term right. It's an old phrase from before we called it Shitposting- we blamed all the weird stuff on sleep deprivation and Australians lmao

But it's night, and I'm blogging, so here we are.

so if you've read my other long posts, you'll know I'm in multiple open polyamorous relationships... and that I'm having what one might call "a hoe phase" and an accompanying crisis about if I still have worth if I'm a slut.

Well now im having a whole different (but still slut-adjacent) crisis. Do I even know what romance is????

This didnt come out of nowhere. My girlfriend mentioned that I was dating around as though I was single several months ago. And today she- wisely- brought up that i am at risk of girl bossing too close to the sun. and I had already been thinking about how my sibling had said that our parents didnt really model romance for us, and that we were told that romantic love is just kissing your best friend. And to be clear: I TOTALLY am. I'm not lonely or touch starved or sad or maidenless (or lad-less) in any sense of the imagination.

So... why am I still pursuing people??

The tree i can understand. He's a fun fuck, and he travels the renfaire circuit so I wont see him all the time. No chance of a solid relationship, just a fun easy breezy fling.

The lookout? Similar thing. Super fun to make out with and fine as HELL, but he lives like three hours away and doesnt seem interested in going steady. I can work with that

Max is PolySaturared and we just make out when I'm over for house parties, which isnt as often as I'd like but I'm desperately trying not to have too much of a crush on him (or his wife... or his girlfriend... or his other partner) so it's fine (jesus, maybe I'm not Ace, maybe I am just autistic)

Theres my good ex and my middle school bestie, but they're hella busy and our schedules havent really lined up. Disappointing, but acceptable.

The thing these people have in common is that they are almost entirely unavailable for me to date!! Until literally a month ago I was under the impression that I was just chasing the dopamine of New relationship Energy with ethically renewable sources and I could get my cozy domestic stability from my lovely girlfriends and partner...

And then trumpet guy and I made out at one of Max's house parties.... and Then I went on two dates with The Goblin King after making out with him and the Tree at the same time on NYE. And like??? It's so weird to say that I dont think either of them are stupid hot???? (But only one of the three people I'm dating is Stupid Hot, so there is precedent but?) It feels kinda weird and disingenuous to want to spend more time with these people who I'm not crushing on

And yet im Quickly falling head over clown shoes for trumpet guy. He's cute and fun and he asked me out on a date to dress way fancy and get sushi and go see a musical and???? I had just been telling a classmate that I didnt feel like I had been properly romanced since high school and?????? While I'm an impatient slut, it feels nice to be pursued.

The goblin king is really fucking sweet, and he's got really nice hair, but I'll wait to try talking myself out of liking him until after our next date... (too late, cant unthink that. I'll bring it up in person. He's really cool and I do want to still be his friend, but we both live with parents who would NOT get it so that kinda makes it hard to have solo couple time... or any couple time. It's not like I have to make a choice anytime soon but the dude deserves to know that I'm not sure if there's anything for us beyond friendship and the occasional kiss. Heck, we've only made out the one time and not even just us.)

Anyway, what's tumblr for other than an online diary??

[multifandombullshitbabes]

HELLO

ok cool now that THAT is done, hi :) I'm Sara/Sera. Aro. Lesbian. Genderqueer (she/they/he). Libra. 21. Art college. INFP. etc.

This is a blog where I'll do whatever the fuck i want with the fandoms I like, even the ones i have blogs dedicated to. Just because.

My og posts are all tagged "hey look i posted a thing" so. yh.

I'll put here some fandoms that I DEFINITELY will be at least talking about:

both Top Gun movies

Merlin BBC

Sherlock BBC (yh ik sue me the show was fun)

Warrior Nun

The Magnus Archives

Outer Range

Our Flag Means Death

Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom (ONLY the books. That show sucked, I'm sorry not really)

Treasure Planet (most underrated movie EVER, yep)

Rise of The Guardians

all Kung Fu Panda movies

Nope

Everything Everywhere All At Once

Wednesday

The Haunting of Hill House and The Haunting of Bly Manor

The Untamed

Anne with and E

Teen Wolf (i have a weakness for this show yall, idk)

Arcane

First Kill

The Witcher (only the show, sorry)

The Sandman

Girl From Nowhere

Suits (i have not finished season 5 cuz i know its gonna get shitty so apologies)

Black Sails

The Falcon and the Winter Soldier

both Venom movies

Like Minds

Moon Knight (TV show)

Sharp Objects

Suspiria 2018

Whiplash

Jennifer's Body

The Pirate (1948)

Derry Girls

Criminal Minds

Cocaine Bear

Knives Out + Glass Onion

Into the Spider-Verse movies

TMNT 2012

Reservation Dogs

The Bear

Marble Hornets

Creepypasta

Stardew Valley

8 Women (2002)

Nimona

The New Girlfriend (2014)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

Harlan Coben's Shelter

Malevolent (podcast)

ATLA

Blue Eye Samurai

Kubo and the two strings

Midnight Burger

After School Lessons for Unripe Apples

Supernatural (im on season 8 rn)

House of the Dragon

Once Upon a Witchlight

Detroit: Become Human

CURRENT HYPER-FIXATION: Arcane, TMA, BBC Merlin

Theres a TON more, I'll add them as I remember them and as I also consume them. From this list tho, pls send ur thoughts!! Just know im more active in some fandoms than others. This list is not on a particular order, so yh!!

---

AO3 Link: SpookySweet (please check out my works, I will love you foreva)

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TAG LIST:

"hey look i posted a thing" - any posts originally mine

"rebloggin time" - every time i reblog something and I add to it in the post itself, not the tags (text, images, etc.)

"come get yall headcanons" - all headcanons/au posts of mine, reblogs included

"shit talking but seriously (or not)" - discourse/fan wank tag, any criticism posts/reblogs i might make

"this is me writing lads" - my writing

"shitpostti" - shitpost/crack posts of mine

"YOU ASK I ANSWER" - answering things from inbox

"so artsy rawr XD" - art tag

[nobuverse]

( I'm gonna be 100 with you guys - this was supposed to be a shitpost but it turned out into a small drabble between one of Kippoushi / Nobunaga's many tutors and her dad. Posting it anyways as a sort of headcanon for how her dad felt about her in general )

"I'm sorry Nobuhibe-sama, I can't teach your daughter. This is a task far beyond my ability."

"Unbelievable. You're the third tutor that's quit in the last three months - can it really be that she is so devoid of intelligence?"

"No. You don't understand, my lord. She has enough of that to spare -too much in fact. Worse yet, she is ambitious."

"A fine trait - if she had been my firstborn son. But it will not do for her when she is a woman. Is there no advice you can give me on how to crush it?"

"The best I can offer is that you should pray it becomes nothing but a fleeting trait of her childhood days; that it disappears when she inherits the name of Nobunaga."

"Is that all? I implore you, don't restrain yourself if you think a more disciplinary measure would be effective"

"I'm afraid beating her would get you nowhere, if that is what you imply. A child like that does not shrivel and shrink in the face of adversity, no matter how extreme. It would only make her angrier. More likely to rebel against you. She is already convinced the world is not just; you would only make it more so."

"I see. And if it does not not quell with age, as we hope?"

"Do not try and marry her off. I'm certain she will usurp her husband; she will lead the people to war against you. If I can suggest anything, it is to try and forget she your daughter altogether. Your firstborn son, on the other hand, is a brilliant mind. Focus on him instead"

"Very well. I will take your words to heart."

As she overhears the last bit, she can feel her own heart sink in her chest. Her ear pulls away from the door, wishing to hear no more of it.

Much as she would love to point out the irony in having been the one to teach 'Katsu everything he knew - well, it wouldn't matter to them anyways.

He could never be proud of her, for as long as she remained a girl. No amount of acting like or dressing like a boy would ever change his mind.

-Not that she'd ever wanted to be one. Was it really so absurd to want something else than what was expected of her?

Well- 'it couldn't be helped', as they all liked to say.

[demidolll]

WELCOME TO MY PAGE !! (⁠◠⁠‿⁠・⁠)⁠—⁠☆

quick guide;

she/her, 🇳🇱🇧🇷, ♑ (14/01), INFP-T, CET 🕐

dni; basic criteria (anti lgtbqia+, racist, pedo, pro life, etc.)

byf; i curse, i can be out of pocket sometimes, expect shitposts

socials can be found here! (+spotify)

what to call me? — whatever you want, honestly. people call me demi, izzy, bella, bell, izz, doll(y), isa... yep, we have variety in this household. (if you call me isabella i will make sure your pillows are warm and socks are wet)

what do i do? — i study lots of programming languages at school. i teach myself the kalimba + piano (used to play the bass and acoustic guitar as well!)... i write poems and songs, and i like making art (drawings, paintings, etc.) even if i'm not the best

what languages do i speak? — english, brazilian portuguese, dutch. learning french (at school) and learning korean (by myself) but could not hold a conversation in either to save my life 😭

sigh... mandatory fandom announcement

music; blackpink, le sserafim, newjeans, yoasobi, ashley sienna, kiss of life, emei, (g)-idle, itzy, blackbear

series; crash landing on you, business proposal, falling into your smile, girl from nowhere, gossip girl, arcane, gossip girl, the good place, lucifer

anime; bnha/mha, kakegurui, blue period

games; omori, unbeatable white label, ddlc, palia, class of '09, do not feed the monkeys, fnaf sb & sl, the sims 4, portal, minecraft, valorant (iron 1 killjoy main 😮‍💨)

misc; the spider-verse movies, junji ito (especially tomie), mark manson, dear peachie, deadpool

note: some of these i still like, but haven't interacted with in a while

main tags i use and what they're for;

#original poems — poems i wrote

#meliora — meliora is a project i'm working on, i talk about it sometimes, but it's nowhere near done so i haven't posted any of its content yet

#politics — pretty straightforward; sometimes i post or reblog things related to politics (though it's not really a niche of mine), if you don't like seeing that just filter out that tag and you'll be good. same goes for #capitalism, #awareness, and #🍉

[pearatwar]

it took me 250 posts to realize i haven't made an introductory post (light tw!)

I'm (War)Pear! (he/they, pansexual, cis)

Lore: I was born during a lonely lonely 2006 night in shitfuck-nowhere in Italy, and I live there to this day. I pretended to like poetry to impress a girl and now we're friends and I got into poetry for real! (came for copper and found gold type shi). I talked about my feelings with my english teacher and I got sent to the psych ward and put on antidepressants.

Since I can't be bothered to make a second blog, I use this one for everything, from vents about sh and other TW worthy arguments to shitposts and reblogs about the last thing I saw on my dashboard

I have autism, diagnosed, but I stand with and for undiagnosed people. You're valid!

Stuff I like!

Technology and computers! (special interest! i even go to a school that specializes in that)

Videogames! Guilty Gear, roguelikes, and. uhm. league. of legends. *cough*

Talking. I need a listener

Listening. I need a talker

Music! My music taste is music except the music I don't like

Loathing my past!

Linguistics! I almost got a C2 english certification but I scored 199/200 for the score required for it on my C1 test so I only have C1

Bigots and other bad people DNI or I will bite you! /neg

Moots and everyone else interact! I will bite you! /pos

More stuff down below because I hate it when long posts take up all my dashboard

F.A.Q.

Q. What's your favorite color?

A. I bet you can't tell. Yellow is a close second.

Q. What about your least favorite color?

A. Light blue. The kind of light blue you'd see in the color selection for Mii shirts on the Wii or 3DS.

Q. Why the obsession with pears?

A. I just wanted to find a quirky alias. I'll tell you the story sooner or later!

Q. What do you play games on?

A. An office laptop I put on steroids (a 16 GB RAM stick) and a Steam Deck (not OLED). I wish I was joking

Q. How often do you post? Do you have a schedule?

A. I post whenever I remember I exist or I have nothing better to do. You'll notice because if you have notifications on you'll get swarmed.

Q. Summer or winter?

A. I live in a seaside city but I HATE the beach. I HATE the sun. I HATE summer. Winter is cozy :]

Q. Relationship with your parents?

A. Love-hate. Next.

Q. Rank on League?

A. I don't play ranked! Ew!

Q. Other accounts?

A. uhm. uhh. erm. become my friend first! then i'll tell ya

Q. Relevant tags?

A. #pearblogging , #pearventing and #pear's bus tales are all personal tags that I will probably start tp use more, not counting one-off quirky tags. I generally don't even bother with tags, because I'm too lazy