#gimme that hand in marriage bro

[thecoolestastrophile]

HOLY JESUS CHRIST GUYS

Nomos (Xavier - NSFW/18+)

Pairing: Xavier/Queen Reader (based on Xavier’s first myth) Word Count: 3.7k Tags: religious imagery/desecration sex, angst, evol bondage, oral sex, orgasm denial, Knight Xavier on his knees repenting to his Queen MC, spoilers for Xavier’s first myth, female dominating, canon divergence, hell hath no fury like a woman scorned

Summary: The Queen of Philos had sacrificed her heart ultimately and along with it, part of her humanity, in the wake of Xavier’s failed Backtrack mission; binding it to Philos’ core for eternity. Now, returned to her, centuries after, Xavier seeks his Goddess’ audience, and her forgiveness, within the stone-cold chambers of her castle. 

But centuries suffered alone, and with her heart now gone, she is a former frigid cast of the woman he used to love. Xavier is adamant on repenting, even if it costs him his life this time round. 

[A fic where Prince Xavier manages to return to Philos but he is too late; his Queen has long thrown her powerful core, her heart, into Philos’ centre and now, she has nothing to offer Xavier but her bitter resentment.]

O celestial body of mine, Slumbering adrift in darkness, Which never heeds the whispers of life, Till it fades into oblivion, nothingness. 

The rolling echo of thunder — knelling an approaching storm — was the only sound that rippled across the heavy, cold silence that had settled itself across the throne room. Wan shadows clung to the wide, dismal stone pillars of the great hall. Barely quelled by the flickering protocore lamps interspersed on either sides of the room. 

A looming, stone figure of the Goddess adorned the space right behind her great throne, staging Her chosen Sovereign to rule and obey, for all of Philos to see, placed by Her will upon the throne. The Goddess; doused in cool shadow, her sculpted eyes stared down glacial and unforgiving, set into regal stone. Her great Sword aimed at length towards the altar Xavier knelt at. 

The flagstone beneath his knee was a harsh and frigid reminder; Xavier considered, not for the first time how it too had frozen in on desolate isolation, just like his Queen’s majestic figure in front. She stood tall and silent — the paradigm of dignity she’d forced herself to be, for the sake of Philos... and for the sake of a lover who’d refused to accept the wretched Crown of a King.  

Solitary and unattended — he’d allowed her to experience the empty desolation that came with a Sovereign’s crown of lonely leadership. And yet, even confined to the yawning silence of her frigid throne room, she’d ushered Philos into an era of prosperity. While he— 

Xavier had failed her; her hopes, her dreams... her yearnings he’d turned blind to each time she’d granted him the soft brunt of her affections sifting like stone against his heart. So in love with her — she would never know — and yet, the distance he’d maintained stretched flimsy in between them; closer than friends, stranger than lovers.  

The burden of her past life, their first life, lived in futility, through a heart that brought her no end of pain until it had burned her life out of existence — and in turn, ended his, in spirit — with her untimely demise.  

And he had — in misguided intentions, she viewed them as — refused to let the cycle of tragedy repeat once more, in the sacrifice of her sole being. As Xavier, prince of Philos. And a mere man in love with a woman. The one heart he could never bear to let go. In the name of a ‘greater good’, his father, the previous King had called it such. For Philos.  

To hell with a nation his father and his wretched co-conspirators had painted from the ground up, drenched in the blood of numerous sacrifices before her. Xavier had wanted no part in the perpetuation of that horrifying ritual.  

Desperation had eventually led him to adopt far perilous measures, to prevent her oblation in this lifetime — two centuries spent in between their tentative meetings, and then several countless more spent traversing the stars and through worlds in search of a solution. To prevent Philos’ downfall without the need to hold on to age old rustic customs. 

And he had promised her, his beautiful lonely Queen, a victory he had failed to bring to her feet. Swore to her in centuries past, when she’d still looked upon him with love naked in her gaze and worry taut in her features, that he’d search for a better path for Philos from among his travel in the stars, while she’d resolved to stay behind as their planet’s sole Sovereign; their Goddess incarnate.  

The tender warmth of her skin as he’d traced her features into memory on their last meeting all those centuries back, within the plaza rife with life; a reminder of what they were fighting for. The way she’d layered her own hand against his, letting her eyes drift shut as if she too wished to forget their fast-looming separation. 

And on the day of her coronation, he’d left her, branded as a traitor. Chancing one last, proud look upon her majestic form as she’d leveled the blade of her sword against his shoulders apiece, in their private ceremony of two, knighting him as her Grandis Knight. 

A fleeting, tentative touch of her palm she’d pressed against his shoulder in farewell, determined eyes staring into his from beneath the weight of her crown as she’d wished him well. 

“The fate of our nation rests within your hands now, Xavier. And should you fail, the entirety of Philos shall have to pay the price for the Prince’s failings.”  

Her delicate hand had tightened against the pressed shoulder of his regalia, not caring for the badges of honor there, digging into her skin. “May the Goddess be with you. Goodbye, Xavier.” 

 Xavier’s eyes flitter shut in resigned recollection; the very last touch of her warmth still fresh in his mind. In the flex of gloved digits against the badge attached to the hilt of his sword, one she’d gifted to him, in lieu of her star tassel.  

Now, as he kneels at her feet, she hasn’t even moved to touch him. Hasn’t deigned him worthy enough to afford even the mercy of her hands on his body, even if just to strike him. In ire or curses; Goddess, his heart and body have missed her so dearly. And yet, this is not the time for personal weakness. But repentance. And Xavier has always been one devoted to his cause, his one sole duty; to live and serve, to die or be tortured by her will alone.  

His Demiurge regent, his sole Queen.  

She observes great clemency as is expected of a Sovereign of her stature, when her steps shift closer; the dignified brush of her mantle pooling about her feet. Soft fur fabric brushing against the polished heel of pale shoes, the slip of bare skin through the part of her flowing robes at her legs, filling his line of sight as it remains firm, fixated upon the ground. For she has not allowed him leave to freely gaze upon her form. And Xavier is her Grandis Knight, committed to propriety of duty, if it is for her alone.  

He, however, dares: gloved digits reaching for the sweep of her queenly cape brushing the stone-cold flagstone. The pads of them skimming the soft of fur that lines its edges. And when she does not move to refute his brazen touch, he curves his fingers into the fabric and guides it up to his lips, lashes descending shut as he lays a kiss against the cloth, in show of the proper reverence she deserves. “I have returned, my Queen.” 

Xavier feels her shift above his genuflecting form, a response she utters in the voice he has missed. “Why?”  

“I will accept whatever punishment you deem necessary for my failure, your Majesty. If it is my life you seek—”  

“Why have you returned now?”  

“Forgive me, your Majesty.” 

“You are far, far too late.” The first hints of displeasure seep into her intonation, accusing strains of heat Xavier prefers to the thick monotone she’d employed previously.

“Forgive me, your Majesty.”  

An explicable tremor breaks across her still form; minute, missable, were it not for how finely attuned he is to her mannerisms, her emotions, her simmering ire.  

“Why have you returned now, after all this time? You made no promises.” She asks once more, cool resignation in her voice.  

He stares fixedly at the sight of her feet, a response she seeks from him, he has no answer to.  

Silence stretches long and taut, infinite, in between them. 

“After the first five hundred years spent waiting in futility...” she deliberates. “I finally concluded that you’d died. Perished among the unknown.” 

His fist, sunk into the unyielding cold floor at his knee, crushes tighter at her words. “...Please allow me to look upon your Majesty’s face.”  

Her footsteps glide forwards, another step closer. Ignoring his entreaty, she resumes, “I continued to make excuses for your failure to return.” She pauses. 

“It brought me some modicum of comfort to know you had not just abandoned me but that you were simply no more.” The terrifying frigid inflection of her voice numbs Xavier’s heart — cool tendrils of dread coiling vines within his chest, like their first life, he’d held her within his arms. Watched the life pool out of her eyes, leaving her dull and lifeless within his embrace.  

She has lost her heart once more, and the mere thought has Xavier’s nerves driven to near devastation.  

But he is here, he knew of the consequences. And he is here, to bear through them, to accept his Sovereign — and beloved’s — ire; no matter if she remains full or half. She is all he draws breath for, all he fights for, the pinnacle of his existence and his desires. His guiding star, his monarch, his God. 

“Forgive me, your Majesty.” He speaks, once more. 

The first signs of emotion other than cool resentment thread through her low voice: furied indignance. “Utter insolence.” 

The heel of her shoe rises before his very gaze — Xavier’s eyes falling shut to accept the brunt of her oncoming strike. One that does not come. He feels her press the harsh tip of it, instead, underneath his jaw, knocking his face upwards so that his eyes meet hers, glacial turbulence within her gaze. “How does it feel to be demeaned as if you were a mere traitor, at my feet? Do you feel as violated and desolate as I too did all those years ago?” 

She is kind, she remains so gentle; her punishment, she considers it humiliation for him to be put at her feet when it is anything but. As if it could ever be. She offers him her worship instead, and so he follows her regal command. 

Pitching his face to dig deeper against the tip of her shoe, his eyes remain devoted upon hers. Gloved fingers he brings to curl, slow beneath the sole of her boot to support, mouth skimming a kiss of reverence to the polished surface.  

Ire and heat fulgurate within her gaze at his brazen actions, she continues to watch as his mouth parts, pink tongue darting forth to slick a slow, deferential path against the cool leather of her shoe. “This is not punishment enough, your Majesty, when your Grandis Knight has been ever prepared to end his life at your feet, were it your will.” 

The spark of heat within her gaze retreats and shutters itself behind its glacial curtain. “Do you remember what it is I told you when you embarked on your journey, my Knight?” 

“I do.” He murmurs, just as she digs the edge of her heel deeper against his cheek.  

She rips herself away from his worship, sweeping right up close against his kneeling figure, until he can catch the drifts of her perfumed scent emanating from her bone-ivory robes. Can feel the brush of the silken cloth adorning her thighs, against the tip of his nose. 

Wretched, blasphemous desire churns vicious within his belly at having the woman he loves this close, after centuries spent without her — a woman that is not his, never will be. Immoral desires of a sinner for Philos’ Mother. A woman — and their nation — he brought to ruin by his own hand; Philos’ branded traitor. 

“I told you,” she speaks, in the neutrality of a Sovereign, “that were you to fail, all of Philos would have to pay the price for the Prince’s failure.” She stills. “And I am Philos, I am centered to Her core. I am Her life-force as she is mine. Our people paid a hefty price for our peace, oh Grandis Knight.” 

Xavier’s face sinks forward, brushing the edges of her silken robes against his cheek. “Forgive me, your Majesty.” In the harsh clench of his jaw; and when she does not move to spurn him, he devotes a kiss of resigned reverence to the cloth above her thigh. Her body loses part of its stillness at the action.  

“Even after all this time...” she murmurs under her breath. “You refuse to address me by my proper name, like a foolish coward.” A slipping fracture of something akin to torment in her voice.  

Xavier lets his mouth glide further up across the lustrous cloth in begging of her pardon, for the ache he has caused, has continued to cause to her. To Philos. For his protection that he has always known held a double cutting edge to itself.  

He drifts towards her other thigh, mouthing proper worship onto it and his Queen — benevolent, tender in heart still — lets the Sinner at her feet do as he pleases. Canting his gaze heavenwards to watch as she allows; her own eyes that burn into his kneeling form, observing him from her place on high.  

Her legs shift, allowing Xavier the fleeting sight of unblemished skin in between the loose flow of her fabric and like a devotee starved, he’s drawn to the catch of her inner thighs revealed with the slight disarray of her robes beneath his questing mouth. Finding her undeniably warm when his lips brush near the junction of her thighs at bare skin.  

“My Knight—” 

“You may call me by my name, your Majesty.” His hungering tongue slips past his lips to lave gentle at her. “After all, I am no more than servant to your Majesty and her great throne.”  

“Grandis Knight, you are—” 

“I am your Xavier, your sinner.” His hot gaze rolls up towards hers and beseeches. “So, please call me by name so you may curse at me.” 

He feels the fire of her indignant resentment sputter within her gaze, receding the glacial indifference of it. Her cold fingers slink into his hair and wrench harsh at the argent strands, ripping a groan free of Xavier’s throat. The very first gift she makes of pain, to him, one he receives with the reverent ardour it deserves.  

Xavier heaves forward once more to settle in between her legs, nosing at the fabric of her mound, breathing in her scent. Teeth catching at the cloth that keeps her concealed from view before he loosens it apart with a violent jerk of his head.  

Moisture glistens tempting in between her folds — the firm press of her digits against the back of his head is the sole permission Xavier requires to engulf her entirely against an open, hungering mouth, a low moan of desire breaking past his throat at the intoxicating taste of her on his tongue.  

He laps up at her; a man starved — one he is, after the emptiness of her endured in his soul, the burdens of his failures and desires commingled in the wet lave of his tongue from base to hood. Slicking the edge of his tongue against the pearl at her apex. Her low sigh follows the incessant push of his face deep into her mound, his nose brushing at the curls of it, accepting the gift of her benevolence.  

“Did you know, my dear Knight—” her voice skitters mildly in pleasure with the press of the tip of his tongue, cleaving gentle into her slit. “It did get easier.”  

Her wetness seeps past her opening and onto his fervent tongue as he dutifully swallows. He feels incredibly parched, open mouth pressing deeper against her as he works her pleasure, tongue slinking into her depths. She clenches around him at the intrusion, knocking a muffled groan free of his throat.  

“When time finally ran out for your chance to return and Philos neared the end of its life, with our people on the brink of desolate death,” her breath jolts. “I marched out there.” 

His brows knit into a severe frown, stroking his need for her ire to sheath itself deeper into his body. He requires it; his Queen’s rightful anger so that he may take all of it and her, let her bruise her emotions into it, until the moment she’s used him up to her heart’s desires and she finally weeps and hurts no more.  

And so, his lashes descend with the tight spasm of her fingers carded through his hair, steering his mouth however she pleases. 

“And I willingly bound my life force to Philos’ core so that it could continue to live. Cut out the part of me that loved and felt until I turned myself into something entirely non-human for the sake of our people. A true God.” A slow, desolate string of weak sound tapers out of her body before it augments itself into mirthless laughter that rings hollow through the great, empty space of her throne room. “It was all too easy to do so, in a world I knew my Star no longer existed. For my heart had beat for him alone.” 

A heavy bludgeon of agony rips through his chest, tries and clambers its way out of his body before Xavier tamps it mercilessly in the gentle scrape of his teeth against her tight bundle of nerves. Her violent shudders, he feels buffets her limbs before he’s reaching out for her on instinctual, fervid desire in the clasp of gloved palms against the sides of her legs, trekking his touch up her thighs. A low moan parts her lips at the touch. 

Xavier’s audacious attempt at desecrating his God further underneath his obsidian worship is foiled in the twin blades of light that cleave around his wrists, whipping them swift and away from her body to shackle them together at the base of his spine. 

His body jolts through the glaze of his desires, part sense rending through the thick of pain knocking at the back of his breastbone to realize she’s forced his submission in the resonation of her Evol against his. Emulated his Light seamlessly in the binds of radiance — befitting of Philos’ Sovereign — wound tight at his wrists. Even centuries past now, she remembers the precise shape of his Light. 

He tests a flex against his restraints, finding they do not give an inch. “You’ve grown far too bold in your time away,” her voice is a cold dagger that scotches itself right beneath his ribs. She heaves him away from her body, reluctant mouth drenched in the strings of slick and spit that trail from his mouth to the soaked space of her legs. “Grandis Knight, what makes you think you’ve earned even an ounce of me to embrace as you would, a lover?” 

“I have not, your Majesty, forgive—”  

Severing through the rest of his apology in the quiet catch of Xavier’s breath when the sole of her heel comes to rise, knocking a firm, uniformed thigh apart to reveal the indecency of his arousal to her gaze, straining painful against the placket of too tight trousers.  

The edge of her heel trailing the inside of his thigh, she switches towards the heavy length of him. Brushing the underside of his arousal, Xavier’s shoulders tense in heavy need at the barely present stimulation. Before her heel sinks firmer against the length of him, jolting a groan free of him. “Does that feel good then?” 

“Yes, your Majesty.” He breathes heavily.  

��Look at you, coming apart under the mere, filthy touch of my foot.” Her brow bunches in an irked frown.  

“No part of you—” His voice breaks apart into quiet, ragged breaths at the stimulation of her heel against the increasingly sensitive strength of his arousal. “—is filthy to me, your Majesty.”  

Xavier tugs against the leash she’s made of her fist at the back of his head and she allows him, in that moment, to arch forwards and nudge the part of her dress aside. Sink into the wet heat of her; a man imprisoned to her tender mercies and the flood of her taste in his mouth. 

He works her open against his tongue, laving at her desires. Back and forth, he doesn’t let a single drop spill past his hungering mouth until he feels the tell-tale evidence of her orgasm in the insistent clench of her walls.  

Her hips gyrate forward in tandem to the suck of his mouth against her tightened bead and Xavier lets his shoulders fall slack to allow her free reign of her release as she grinds herself against his tongue to a precipitous finish. The gush of her desires Xavier drinks down, humming in dazed arousal, to have let her find her relief; used as her personal seat of pleasure, to be tossed at her will alone.  

Her hands flitter about his head, curling on either side of his jaw to pull away from the heaven of her body, and up as she descends, her mouth settling against his in a violent kiss he receives with vehement pleasure.  

Releasing herself, slow, from him only when her desire to breath turns overbearing. The edge of her thumb slips just past his damp bottom lip, urging his mouth open further. Before she spits against his revering tongue and instructs him to, “Swallow.” 

Xavier’s mouth clamps shut on instinct, working the taste of her against himself. Gaze flittering in darkening, vicious desire at the heat of his Goddess’ gift.  

A low hush of withering laughter leaves her mouth. “I’ve tethered a rabid beast to my side.” 

Her thumb and index cup about his jaw, coaxing his gaze to remain on hers, bright, burning. “Swear to me,” she speaks. “Swear that your loyalty shall never lie with another.”  

He feels his Queen curl a tremulous fist into the robes at his shoulders, crumpling the fabric hard in between her fingers. “Swear that you shall remain mine, my Grandis Knight, for all time. That you shall never abandon me again, Xavier.”  

His gaze quivers in fleeting emotions for a moment’s weakness, steel gray resolve returning once more to utter his vow renewed. 

“I have always been yours to have or reject, your Majesty. This Knight — his Body and Soul is yours alone to wield.” 

Making of himself, a promise, he commits to her in the life she shall have; to end at the sweep of her sword, should he ever dare renege on it.  

Declaring himself, at long last, in his clear devotion; to his one Queen and God.  

Tagging: @samanthagnicole , @catboi-anon , @beebumbo , @hellinistical , @dangerousluv1 , @webmvie , @aria-tempest , @raendarkfaerie , @lamentinee , @unhingedsillygod , @tiredas

(Skipping folks who do not have tagging permissions on, so they cannot be mentioned, unfortunately)

I had the angsty pleasure of reading Xavier’s first myth for the first time a few weeks back and with the help of a Xavier main friend and inspiration drawn from Xavier’s prayer pose in photobooth, this fic was born. I hope you enjoyed your read! 

Likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated, if you are so inclined, lovelies!

If you’d like to be tagged in my future stories, you can fill this short form here. If you’d like to be removed, shoot me a DM! You can also find me on Ao3 and twitter, if you’d like to chat or just squeal with me about hot characters, in general.

[sirwadewilsonfromimgur]

Deadpool & Wolverine: Scenes from an unconventional marriage.

Pre script authors note: The following was inspired by a few conversations between @icarusredwings and myself, part of which was a scenario that i thought would be funny... if this is your first story reading one of my AUs (first of all. woof, you picked a long one) Secondly. The boys have money, Peter works for them as an assistant and logistics expert. They live in Kansas city because of Wade's crusade against anti-mutant GMO corn... go back and read KoKC for details. Link below.

Scene 3

Kansas City Missouri Earth-10005 (2031-ish)

When two murderous Canadian mercenaries love each other very much...

Part 1 : paternal instincts.

Our scene opens up where most of our scenes open with this author.

The 19th floor of 700 W 31st Street Kansas City Missouri.

(the building known to its Tennants as One Park Place tower)

International headquarters of Malfeasance and Fraud Mitigation (Mercs for Money) LLC. And home to Logan and Wade Howlett-Wilson.

And Blind Al don't forget her! And Mary puppens I'll stab you if fucking forget about her. By the way Brace yourself folks this might be a crossover AU one-shot non canonical story.

Wade was talking to himself as usual having left the office after chain smoking a pack of Lucky Strikes and going over Financials with Peter and Althea. The business part of the business of killing was a huge pain in the ass. Logan insisted he take an active role beyond just killing. It was hell on his undiagnosed autism/ADHD.

Fuck Excell, fuck spreadsheets, fuck shopping around for cheaper ammo to save a dollar, this Is a Winchester house we're not buying off brand bullets from eastern Europe!

But it was finally over and he could enjoy the rest of his day. Which he intended on doing as he walked towards Logan sitting on the couch in the livingroom. He had a Nintendo Switch and was playing Mario 3 online.

He'd taken a liking to playing games ever since Laura convinced him to play Smash Brothers with her a few years ago.... Wade loved that he'd picked up what many especially the Wolverine himself would consider an unserious hobby.

he sucked at it, but he was trying to improve. He had recently beat Zelda: link to the past, but he still couldn't beat Laura at Smash Bros. Wade sat down next to him with a thud.

You get all your work done for the day princess? He asked without looking up from his screen.

I did. It was terrible. I hate it. Please don't make me do it again. Wade gently puts a hand on Logans thigh, not necessarily with amorous intentions. It's more like trying to ground himself after a stressful afternoon by connecting with his Wolverine.

Sorry bub, but you gotta learn about the actual business. It'll give you a better perspective before you go spending money. Besides its our company, and it's more than shooting fools. Now, if you gimme a sec I'll find a stopping point. These little fucking turtles have been giving me hell.

Thier Koopas penut, stomping on turtles, would be cruel. As for Al and Peter, they are the best at what they do... and what they do isn't very interesting.

Logan chuckles at Wade's bad joke, turning off his game. You smell like cigarettes bub, you know those are bad for your health. *sniffs* lucky strikes.... you know I remember when lucky strike was a plug tobacco brand (chewing tobacco bound together with molasses the 1870s were a weird time)

That sounds disgusting Penut... also I think smoking is the least of my problems. You didn't have to stop playing your game I just Wanted to be near you. But speaking of, did I tell you I was in a video game once?

Logan was accustomed to this line of thought at this point, they were in a film, a fanfic on Tumblr, a comic book, a novel... a video game was new... he couldn't see the audience, as far as he knew his choices were his own. But he didn't immediately dismiss Wade like he had in the past, because when he said things like this, there was a thread, especially if Wade said something ominous. He knew to clock it and treat the situation with care.

You were? Tell me about it bub. He said this as he pulled Wade onto his lap, feeling the need for a little cuddling while his garrulous lover regaled him with a meandering story... he liked it.

Well Penut it was the far off year of 2013, my voice sounded like Nolan North at the time and not the buttery Ryan Reynolds tones I have today. It was before the Deadpool movies and I didn't have the budget for a Hollywood actor.

Logan shook his head in mock understanding, not understanding what he meant by having a different voice at all.

Anyway, cutting past the tutorial levels, I remember Cable was there, and so we're you. Well, not you, one of you. Ya' know.

Logan gave Wade a little squeeze at the mention of Wade's ex, Cable... something about that guy made him feel possessive, not a normal reaction for a pair that generally regarded themselves as polyamorous. It probably had something to do with him being (this universe's) Scotts son which is a situation that's weird on its face before someone explained time travel to you and once that was done Logan would have to open a whole can of worms regarding trauma of love lost, parallel universes, and his Scott...

he pushed it to the back of his brain as Wade told his story, how he went on an adventure and that other Logan. he even let me fly the Blackbird... this, of course, resulted in disaster... he crashed it, leading in to a light explanation of how his and that Logans relationship was... tense.

Wade went on about traipsing through the ruins of Genosha a totally real place Logan was unfamiliar with...

there was no Genosha or Krakoa in his universe, and by far the largest difference between the world's he'd noted. It was a land populated by mutants that had suffered a brazen attack by humans... a story Logan was all too familiar with. It's a story he's been doing his best to live with. Pulling himself out again he focuses on Wade's story, he'd mentioned a musical number with Lady Death (who was not played by Aubrey Plaza at the time wade lamented) and then discovery that it hadn't been Agatha all along but Mister Sinister at the heart of the problem.

He'd planned on destroying Wade's favorite taco restaurant along with the rest of the world by *checks notes* exhuming mutant bodies to obtain their unique DNA.... or something. It was almost 20 years ago penut so it's fuzzy.

An injustices Wade simply could not stand for. He personally killed several of Sinisters clones in the process of ultimately stopping his evil scheme before confronting him at Magneto's old Citadel where he'd been hiding out...

I squashed him like a bug under the boot of an old Sentinel, Penut! The big purple kind like from X-men 97! Anyway, the credits role and because of licensing issues, the game is only available to play on hard disk, and it's expensive.

Logan nodded his head (again) in tacit agreement with this statement as if he completely understood *he didn't* kissed Wade on the cheek and held him. He was about to suggest that he and Wade go for a walk when Wade jumped off his lap

Oh, Penut! Talking about Sinister reminds me of something!

Wade ran across the room and headed towards the large storage room they kept some sundry items in, the Christmas tree, seasonal stuff and a few boxes of Wade's "crap" that he couldn't get rid of. Mind you this wasn't Wolverines terminology, Wade had written in red crayon on the boxes Crap. Out of curiosity Logan had followed behind him and was standing in the door watching Wade feverishly dig through boxes, opening them taking stuff out and Searching for something.

Amongst the random objects was a furry red doll with a grande attached to it. Logan quickly picks it up.

Wade, why dose this doll have a live Fucking grande attached to it... I thought we agreed all explosives stay at the safe house not the condo!

Oh, tickle me Hell-mo, in fairness Penut I forgot he was even in that box... I forgot what was in a lot of these boxes, trinkets, souvenirs... grenades... apparently. I just knew i didn't want to throw these things away. He rifled through another box as he said this and pulled out a large gray rectangular device with buttons nobs and a small readout display.

FOUND IT! c'mon Penut, I'll clean this up later. I want to show you something. Wade rushed out of the storage room as fast as he'd ran in, Logan followed behind exploding doll in hand. He knew he'd better just entertain whatever it was Wade wanted to show him. Besides, he is kinda cute when he's excited about something.

Ok Princess, what about that box has got you so worked up.

Wade sets it on the marble counter.

Sinister was a sick fuck, and certifiably evil... but he was a brilliant geneticist and created several devices for harvesting DNA... I, lightly acquired a few things.

You stole shit.

I WASN'T PAID! so yeah after killing the fucker FOR FREE and distracting the X-men who conveniently showed up after I did all the work, I rooted around the citadel where he'd set up shop. I took this! He said pointing at the device. He then proceeded to pull out an instruction manual seemingly from thin air and read it out loud.

This device can take the DNA of two or more individuals regardless of gender and re-combine it to make a new life.

Logan was taken aback, not only by the inference that this device could assist them in having biological children together... but because Wade fucking read something out loud flawlessly without having to sound it out...

Bub, you can read today?

I guess so... but I'll probably only be able to write in Mandarin tomorrow. So enjoy it while you can. But to the point at hand, Penut, I want to have your babies. And with this I believe we can... with the help of a surrogate.

Sweet heart (Logan said as gently as possible in an attempt to spare his feelings) I don't think we're ready for kids, especially little ones.

Logan held up the explosive doll as exhibit A for his argument.

Wade responds by just looking at Logan, big comic book accurate blue eyes staring right in to his soul, Logan could see the tears welling up....

Jesus, bub! Stop! You emotionally manipulative little cunt! Logan broke his gaze and looked out the window pretending to be interested in downtown...

Look Princess, I know how badly you want a kid of your own... you told me all about it.

But you've got some steps to take before I consider being a father to a new life with you... firstly who's gonna surrogate? And don't tell me Ness, she's a good friend but that's asking a lot of her and don't be all depressed if she tells you no.

Secondly... and I can't believe I'm saying this... but if you want me to even flirt with the Ideas Wade, we gotta make this house a safe place and... buy one of the units next to us to expand into so the kid has a room... and you gotta get a safe for the guns and a locked case for the swords. we can't have them accessible to a toddler... no more keeping a Glock in the silverware drawer, no more LadySmith revolvers under the couch cushions. No more cocain in the pantry labeled "flour" in mason jars.

Well... that doesn't sound like a No, Penut... or should I say... Daddy?

Logan cringed at Deadpool, calling him daddy in a decidedly nonsexual tone. It didn't sound normal.

If the Wolverine wasn't sure about this, he probably shouldn't have given Wade a goal with clearly defined parameters...

Wade had hyper focus and devoted himself to baby proofing the condo, weapons secured. Drugs removed (by consuming them, Logan didn't say he couldn't have fun)

He negotiated buying the vacant one bedroom unit that was on the other side of their office walls, blew out said wall, and had contractors built two new large bedroom suites with bathrooms. He installed a Cypher lock on the office door and... yes, the golden girls were behind glass in a locked display cabinet. Something he could punch through should he need to defend the house quickly.

He did this all with his personal funds. Everything was on course... accept finding a surrogate... believe it or not, Vanessa wasn't actually Wade's first choice. He didn't want to ask her to commit to the inconvenience, especially since he didn't want to interfere with her relationship with Dermot... also the touchy subject of asking the woman you wanted to start a family with to hay... help me start a family with my husband it'll be fun! No... Vanessa would be a fun aunt, but he knew he'd have to seek out the services of a professional or something.

They did find an agency that helped them meet with potential surrogates. It wasn't cheap.

A situation that was more complicated than taxes, filing out mountains of paperwork. Then they had to actually meet these women. Money they had... interview skills not so much. Especially when a few walked in, saw Wade's face, and immediately walked out. The best ones screamed, the worst one thought she was on one of those terrible reality prank shows...

Logan despised the nights after such interviews. Holding Wade as he wept.

Logan... what if my own baby thinks I'm scary? What if they don't want to be seen with me or worse they're bullied at school for being the son of a monster... *loud sobs* because it's true, I am a monster. A murderer, a war criminal whose outside is exactly who he is on the inside... a freak.

Logan had gotten Wade to believe him after years when he said he loved him, his scars added depth and character and that he thought his husband was the sexiest man to walk the earth, the void, and the multivers.

But that only applied to him, others... well, given how the interviews went, it was a blow to his ego.... and his mental health. It'd be days before he got Wade to come back out from under his hood or mask. But that was a problem for tomorrow. But for tonight, Wade had entered a shutdown for lack of a betterword... Logan held him, fed him, got in the large shower with him, washed him, and went to bed, tucked in the large bed he held his beloved who had curled himself up in to a ball.

Tomorrow will be better Princess, we'll find the right person, and I promise any baby of ours will love you and be kind. Because that's who you are, really on the inside bub... you forget it. But as long as I've known you, your heart has been in the right place in the end, and you're kinder than I am by a country mile.

The sleep that night was thankfully dreamless for the both of them.

The next morning, Logan made a simple breakfast of eggs and toast for both of them. Putting the bottles of salsa and sriracha near Wade plate... he looked at the clock. 6:30 am

Meaning it was 7:30 in New York. He'd try and give Vanessa a call in half an hour knowing she'd be up by then for sure. He needed to commiserate with someone who understood Wade like he did.

The phone call he had that morning was surprising. He'd let Vanessa know what'd been going on with the agency... and the drama... he was shocked to learn she didn't even know they were considering having a baby.

Wade, didn't tell you?

No Red's not said a word of this to me, I'm honestly confused as to why you goofballs didn't ask me first.

Well, after yesterday, I might as well be the one to ask. Would you consider it Ness?

I... hmmm.... tell you What, this isn't exactly a phone conversation, and it sounds like I need to have a chat with my buddy... I can be there this weekend if you can help a sister out with at ride.

*Logan scoffs playfully* sure I'll have peter send out a G700 to pick you up.

Oooo spoil me, Daddy she retorted.

Logan gaged... gross Ness.

She cackled at getting the old man's goat for a solid minute before they finally wrapped up the call, Logan could definitely see why she and Wade had clicked.

It was another down day, no jobs scheduled, they could afford to take longer breaks and be choosy with contracts. Althea had the money making money with a few business development investments, the purpose of which was to launder money and pay taxes, the fringe benefit being they actually produced a small regular incom. (Please stop talking about the intricacies of the business, haven't I suffered enough!)

A short walk away on the other side of Broadway is the Penn Valley off leash dog park. Mary loved being able to run about and the boys liked that they didn't have to worry about her getting hit by a car... not that it would have affected her for long, but they both knew regenerating is something you'd rather not do if you didn't have to. Wade was indeed tightly tucked into a hoodie hiding his face as best he could. Logan would address that later. They got to the dog park gate without issue, Wade actively avoiding any other people they saw on the way.

Logan unhooked the leash from the ring on her doggy vest, and she was off like a bat out of hell to do whatever it is Dogpools do when they have a whole field to run in. He pulled out a cigar from his pocket case. A Cohiba, a real one from Cuba, smuggled it himself from a job that took them to the Caribbean. He carefully cut the tip with a specialized Xikar cutter, lit the end of a cedar strip, and used the growing flame from it to light his cigar... a lot of ritual for something you literally burn. But Logan found it calming, he also needed one of his strongest cigars to help cover up the smell of the dog park... even if everyone picked up after their dog (they most certainly didn't) the smell was not great for Logan.

We should both probably cut back on the smoking when the babies get here penut... he said this as he pulled out a cigarette... they didn't do much for either of them chemically. Wade just enjoyed the habit, something comforting about it... plus if Wolvy was gonna have a cigar, it made him feel like it was a couples activity. Doing a mundane thing together was one of Wade's favorite things.

I spoke to Ness this morning.

Oh, I hope she's doing well. I need to call her.

I wouldn't worry about it, she'll be here this weekend... Wade, sweetheart... why didn't you tell Ness about our plans, she seemed a little hurt you didn't tell her.

She's traveling a thousand miles, probably to tell me off. I think she's more than hurt if she's coming out here... you know Penut... you said that I shouldn't get my hopes up with her... and I kinda took it to heart... Also I have my own hangups about it... Firstly being how insensitive it sounds on it's face. "Hay Ness, if you and Dermot aren't using it, can we rent your womb? Only 9 months, first month deposit up front!"

But more importantly, for the better part of a decade, Vanessa has been pulled into the misadventures of Deadpool. I love her (platonically). I'm glad we were able to stay friends... but she really doesn't need to get wrapped up in my problems, schemes, and drama... again. Not at my request anyway. A big issue I have is personal, I was going to start a family with her. Asking felt... regressive. But also to the point, her proximity to me has gotten her kidnapped and killed before. I still feel guilty about it.

You also traveled the multivers to save this reality for her, also you traveled back in time and saved her bub.

Aint you ever seen endgame. That's not how time travel works. Somewhere out there, in some other time line, Vanessa is still dead, and it's my fault. This is just a branched timeline.

Since when has the timeline ever made Since bub!

*Loud gasp* PENUT DID YOU JUST BREAK THE FOURTH WALL?

I don't think so, bub... I don't see the people, but I remember you trying to explain how the "other me" time traveled in 2014, and now there aren't Sentinel's running death camps. That the timeline changed and converged.

This is no different Princess, don't think about it too hard, you said. So I'm telling you the same thing. Don't fret about it bub, Vanessa is alive... and she will be here Saturday.

You're too good for me, Penut. I Don't deserve you.

No, you don't... he said as he picked a small plastic bag out of his pocket. You literally stole me. But I love you anyway. Now go pick up the massive shit Mary just took. I refuse for us to be the kind of people who just leave it.

Wade took the bag.

It's probably Stockholm syndrome Penut.

Vanessa arrived Saturday afternoon, in a Falcon 900LX. It was the best Peter could arrange on short notice... not that Vanessa knew the difference between a G700 and a Falcon, she was just happy not to be on Southwest. Dermot was with her... the man was almost the antithesis of Wade, He liked Hiking and he was quite to the point of being accused of being shy. Dry witted... and as he'd recently discovered when he went to the gun range with the boy's last 4th of July... a lousy shooter. But he was stable, kind, and good-natured. Definitely willing to go along to get along with a lot of Wade's antics at parties. He knew why Vanessa had come, and he was perfectly fine with it. It didn't interfere with his plans at all. He was a slow burner and Vanessa hadn't indicated she was in any hurry to tie the knot. But that's a story for another time.

Wade had gone the extra mile to spoil them. A black limousine complete with champagne greeted them on the tarmac and whisked them off to casa de chaos.

She walked in the door like she owned the place, dropping her bag by the door. She walked to the dining room table and sat...

Come over here and sit with me boys. We got a lot to talk about and I'd like to waste no time getting down to business.

Oh, so direct. Wade said in a catty tone high enough to indicate he was joking as he winked

We're gonna gloss over the fact that you didn't involve me with your family planning from the start... but I hear you've had a hard time landing a surrogate. she cut eyes at Wade as she said this. Wordlessly airing all of her hurt feelings and grievances regarding not even being told Wade and Logan were trying to have a baby. Something one would think a best friend would be told

I'd like to make an offer. On the condition that despite you two being my best friends... I aint doing this for free.

Oh, if that's the case Ness then you gotta interview like all the rest. He said this in a joking tone but she didn't miss a beat.

Ok Red, I've been substance free for over 20 years, I don't smoke. I promise not to drink or eat selfish for the entire pregnancy, and I'm one of two people in this room who've seen you naked and didn't require drugs and therapy after.

Yeah... my dick dose look like a peperoni somone forgot in the air fryer.

And your sack looks like someone took a crown royal bag, filled it with puss, and ran it through the middle of a hog pin.

Wade smiles. And laughs a little...

Ok, Ness. you got the job.

Great, I knew you'd see it my way. She proceeded to write a number on a piece of paper and slid it across.

That's my price. Also, Dermot and I are gonna be long-term hous guests for obvious reasons. Convenient since he can do his job remotely....

Wade looked at the number, showed it to Logan, and smirked... I think the both of you could retire for this much money... but nothing is too good for my baby. I am going to have to kill several people for this.

Bub, we might have to overthrow a government.

Pff like that's something new.

Lucky you Ness, you get to be the first person to stay in one of the new rooms... and tangentially responsible for a potential war crime! He grinned like the devil at her

---

Shortly after the contract was finalized, Vanessa and Dermot moved in, and it was a short trip to New York... the boys provided a sample and Mister Sinisters machine to Dr. Henry McCoy... who was fascinated by the whole thing (he later wrote an entire dissertation on it) he helped with the procedure... the result of which was one Vanessa Carlysle pregnant with the Biological child of the combined DNA of Deadpool and Wolverine...

The following 9 months went surprisingly smoothly (apart from one small incident with a serial killer, but that's a chapter in the Noir, we will worry about it later)

The day came... Vanessa went into labor, early in the morning. Thankfully, it seemed like it would be free of complications. meaning that Wade and Vanessa both got their wish for thus day. The baby was born at home.

Wade had an aversion to hospitals. Bad memories of cancer diagnosis, and a general fear of strange men in white lab coats. Not every man mind you. He was cool with Beast and other people he knew personally and he knew a few scientists and doctors... Logan wasn't averse to hospitals apart from the smells of disinfectant and illness mixed together. Vanessa was a bit new age for her justification, why bring life into the world in a place so many go to die, on top of it being uncomfortable, and expensive.

As a result, the midwife was called arrangements were made and the new life was soon ushered into the world. They say history doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme. Like his father Logan, who was born at home to an affluent family in a room where he'd spend his childhood, this baby was born in the penthouse of a tower to affluent parents in a room he'd inhabit well in to his 20s.

Vanessa wasn't in labor long. No birth is a walk in the park, but she would tell you it was pretty easy and without drama compared to others. She pushed one last time, and he was out. Vanessa did get the honor of holding him first after the midwife cleaned him up... Logan couldn't resist the urge; the umbilical cord was carefully cut with an adamantium claw blade. He had been offered a scalpel for the record.

Hay there, little guy... it's a pleasure to meet you.

She held him for 5 minutes before she called Wade over.

I know someone who's been waiting a very long time for you... I think it's time you should finally meet him

Vanessa handed the tiny bundle to Wade, who had whipped off his shirt the second Vanessa called him over. I read that skin to skin contact was beneficial to the baby. he'd said as he carefully supported the babies head and neck and brought him in closer to his chest.

Welcome to the world... I apologize for the state of it, but I have indeed waited a long time to meet you, little guy... I'm Wade, but please call me dad. Your other dad over there is the Wolverine, that makes you my Kitten. I promise you I'll do the best i can being your father. Please don't judge me too harshly.

Babe, get over here and take your shirt off.

If I had a dollar for every time you've said that to me.

So what should we name him...

You didn't think of a name already!

Logan said it was bad luck *shrugs*

But at least we got the last name sorted Howlett-Wilson 👌

Bub, hyphenated names are a pain in the ass... its not a problem for us because we rarely use our real married name for anything official... let's just give him your last name.

Wade scrunched his face with a little distaste...

Wolvy he's our baby. He should have something from both of us... I mean, besides our mental illness... that's a given.

Tell you what princess; how about we Name him James. It was my name... once, but I don't use it anymore. He can have it.

His middle name however was a much longer discussion... mostly because Wade offered several typical Deadpool options that Logan Veto'ed outright.

Thunderdick! No. Skullcursher!? God, no. James MAGNUM Wilson! That's terrible Wade...

It went on for a minute before Vanessa finally chimed in. Evan... I've always liked that name.

Well, it's a normal name. So I like it.

Works for me, Penut. Though it'd be a lot cooler if it was Danger... but that's my middle name.

Your middle name is Winson.... idiot!

Part two: the Life and Times of James E. Wilson (hope you like crossover AUs)

James's earliest memory is his father, Wade holding him, comforting him... but also crying. He vaguely remembered being at the playground, running and jumping as most toddlers do... tripping on something and skinning his knees on the sidewalk... he naturally had the reaction of crying from the pain and surprise... it wasn't until James was much older that he understood why his dad kept mumbling why aren't you healing?

It's ok, dad... you don't need to cry. I already feel better.

Even at a young age, he felt compelled to comfort someone else. To help. It broke him out of thinking about his own problems, including skinned knees...

The result of this little accident was Wade panicking. They went back to the house and grabbed the dog and his other dad. Papa (or the big bad wolf if James was misbehaving) no amount of reasoning or comments from Logan couldn't stop him or calm Wade down.

Logan Howlett-Wilson get your ass in the car and drive us to the airport right now! Were going to the Mansion to see the fucking doctor RIGHT NOW!

Logan got the message, Wade didn't forgo pet names unless he was bone chillingly serious in intention and resolve. So within minutes, they were on a jet to New York. Where James met a fuzzy blue man he liked very much despite the blood draw. That was uncomfortable, but he found the lab he was in fascinating... weather or not, this influenced his future career he couldn't fully say. But probably a little.

The news delivered to the... not so young, but definitely, new parents was not stellar... Hank had run several tests and analyzed James' DNA structure. He possessed the X-Gene, but it was dormant due to being recessive. Much like Wade he'd have to undergo profound trauma to activate it. There was no guarantee he'd come out the other end with a healing factor. It could be anything... furthermore, it was highly unethical and unthinkable to subject a child.... Wade cut him off

I know a lot of people don't think highly of me. But how fucking dare you assume I'd even entertain the idea of tormenting my child.

Easy bub, I don't think Hank was implying anything. Ya' know he gets lost in the hypotheticals. Right Hank!?

The blue man nodded in agreement.

We will just... have to be extra careful.

Wade picked James up. C'mon soldier. There's a big metal doofus ya gotta meet.

---

One particular afternoon James was sitting in his office recounting some memories with his friend Gregory. Though they had a habit of referring to each other by sir name. Wilson and House

(what a twist)

The day the two met was actually one of the few points in time that if you knew who his parents were you'd say "oh yeah, that is clearly the offspring of Deadpool and Wolverine" it was at a medical conference in New Orleans. Wilson dosn't remember the exact circumstances he'd been drinking but his father's tempers came out of him as he'd threw punches and generally effectively kicked ass at a bar brawl (Wade would have been so proud) House ever the shit stirrer jumped in and backed him up. Truly his fathers son, meeting your best friend as a result of incredible violence... in a bar.

House had actually just finished telling Wilson about his most recent case, yet another patient that had been previously misdiagnosed as having lupus. It was Hashimoto's disease if you're curious. The interactions he'd had with the patient made him think she'd been being neglected, bare minimum socially isolated... he recognized his own surliness in others. It resulted in a dressdown of her parents that he was certain would result in an office visit with Cuddy and detention after school.

High-school wasn't a fun time for Gregory...

You know it wasn't exactly fun for me either.

From the age of 11 to the time he left for med school, he was escorted by armed gaurds to and from school. Growing up in Kansas city, he'd gone to Pembroke Hill School, a private school that specialized in STEM that's tuition cost as much as a new car annually... he was one of only two kid's that went to that school that arrived with a security detail, not however the only one that arrived in a limousine. The other kid was the child of Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift. They weren't friends... he didn't really have friends.

Aww poor little rich boy

House chided at him

At least you didn't get shoved into a locker...

Which was true. He didn't have friends but he didn't have enemies either. The closest thing he had to a best friend was his Grandma Al and Mr. Yoshitomi his driver/lead bodyguard. he was allowed to call him Yoshi...

The man was clearly retired Yakuza, and like his father Logan, tough on the outside but secretly a teddy bear. The truth is Wilson found himself alone at home, too. Apart from Al... but she mostly sat him down in front of a TV and fed him before going outside to smoke...

so apart from weekends, he was alone. Occasionally, he'd see his big sister Laura. She was frequently busy herself being the "official" Wolverine of the Xmen. He liked it when she brought him comics, fictionlized accounts of the adventures of his dad in the past, and his big sister... he knew his dad's loved him. No one could argue that... but What had started as two lovers in New York trying to make rent money by doing the only thing they were good at; picking up random jobs on the dark web (Killing mostly) in the mid 2020s morphed into a private security firm in Kansas City that rivaled Black Water and the (fucking) Pinkertons by the 2040s.

They were busy, and it did provide him a comfortable life without student loans. But from 11 to 18, it was him Al and what had to be the world's oldest dog. She's still alive, actually. The dog loved him and was rarely not by his side when he was home (because all deadpools love their babies) Althea however was not, she was a chain smoker and heavy drug user until the day she died.

how that woman lived to be 115 is fucking beyond me

She lived long enough to see (metaphorically) Wilson graduate medical school. It was the last time he'd seen her. He moved away and started his residency in New Jersey. Wade had sent a private plane as well as several veiled threats to the Dean of medicine at the time to ensure Wilson had the time off to attend the funeral.

Wilson... I gotta ask, why did you have armed guards?

Oh! Funny story when I was 10. I was kidnapped once

(Exactly once I made sure of that)

It's true. He was heading home from school. He made it to the driveway of the tower he called home when some very ill-informed gangsters decided to kidnap the son of a rich man... they didn't do their resurch as to who's kid exactly, just figured they'd get a ransom...

In fairness on paper Wade and Logan weren't Wade and Logan, they were two random dudes who ran a lucrative business and weren't shy about showing off.

This leads to probably the second most traumatic memory Wilson had... not necessarily the kidnapping. Thwy had actually treated him surprisingly well.

What shocked him was seeing his father Logan covered in blood kicking down the door he'd been kept in. He'd never seen his father in the tight yellow and brow suit before. Or the mask... he had taken it off when he clocked James but that only made it worse. The entire bottom of his father's face was coated in blood, like he'd gored a man (he actually had ripped open one of the gangsters throat with his teeth) the blood was cut clear with two rivulets of tears. What James didn't know is they were tears of joy seeing his son, and tears of relief. Because if anything had happened to James the Genocide he and his husband were going to commit in response would have made his incident in his own universe look like childs play.

---

Rebellious teenage years years were impossible. You couldn't steal weed from your blind grandma and hid it in your room, not from the nose of the Wolverine.

Do you know what this shit dose! It makes you fucking stupid is what it does, and your dad and I aren't raising a fucking idiot!

Logan never hit him. But he was scary when he yelled and loud... if he was really pissed those claws popped out. Never an actual threat but fucking scary.

It wasn't the worst childhood, and it wasn't a bad life. Wilson became an oncologist partly because he was fascinated by his own father. The man who's cancer actually kept him alive. He had success, failures... it's like his dad said "what dosn't kill you makes you bad at intimacy kido" 3 ex wives later he finally understood what he meant by that.

All the events of his life that you know about that happened on the show. They happened. The only difference is that he went home to Kansas City for the holidays. Where he'd see his seemingly ageless father's and sisters. He loved his family Logan, Wade, Laura, and Ellie (we'll talk about her in another story.) Which is just as well. He never had children of his own, and after your 3rd failed marriage, you kinda give up on the idea of expanding your family. But until his dying day his dad dotted on him. And bragged, boy did he brag especially to the Xmen when he had a chance to rub in their face his son the successful Doctor! (Suck on that Jean!)

But for Wade, the day did finally come that his immortality became a curse... with every Christmas, Thanksgiving, and spring break that came, James got older. Wade was at his retirement party, He remembers loving Dr. House's wildly inappropriate speech and toast. A man after his own heart, but after the laughter subsided, he realized that his boy, who was graciously receiving a gold watch, had lines in his face and gray hair.

The years kept coming... Wilson got older, he got sick... and his mortality came to pass.

If the universe brought these starbound lovers together for any particular reason. It was for this moment, Wade loved two things Intensely, his Wolverine and his children... but the Death of his first son broke him. Logan clinged on to Wade physically and emotionally. Doing everything he could to hold him together. It was many years before Wade could be called Ok. It was another couple hundred years before he even considered the idea of raising more children.

It should be noted that James was the only one to be fully genetically Logan and Wade's. He was special, one of a kind.

Wade carried a portion of James's ashes with him in a small locket around his neck where it stayed for countless millenia. In dangerous situations he'd even cut himself and put it under his skin so it wouldn't get lost...

Epilogue:

The lady at the end of the road sits in her ethereal other world. Surrounded by various time keeping devices dimly lit by candles flames that don't consume. She pulled out a pocket watch and a ledger. She had an appointment to keep. This one was a special case. The dark lady had the power to send out shades, to be everywhere at once. But this appointment she'd handle directly. She carried out her appointed task kindly but usually without emotion. She was inflexible and didn't bargain or despite what you may have heard play chess or gamble for time or souls....

Wade was there... hospice care was set up about a week ago, and he sat by James side as the ravage of time and biology took its toll. By regular human standards Dr. James Wilson lived a good life, a long life at that. He was 97 years 6 months 2 weeks and 5 days old the morning she came. Logan had been with him the entire night before Wade had taken his shift early that morning so Logan could get some sleep. At about 10 am in the guise of a hospice nurse, she walked into the room, Wade was no fool. Only one person still alive (if you could call her alive) looked like that... He knew why she was there. He hadn't seen her in a very long time.

I see we're sticking with the Aubrey Plaza look... tears started welling up in his eyes. He looked at James in the bed beside him Despite looking down at the face of an old man, Wade still saw his baby. His son.

I thought you'd like this look, it's definitely more pleasant than most. If it's any consolation, Wade... I'm sorry I have to do this.

I haven't seen you in over 100 years. Not even the times I've died lately. Haven't seen you since the time I jumped out of an airplane into a volcano after Vanessa dumped me. Now you show up! I know why you're here.

The tears were streaming down Wade's face. Hot on his cheeks, his eyes red. He looks at her pleadingly.

Please, take me instead. Please, Lady Death. Leave my baby alone. Please, I beg you, take me.

Oh, Wade... My love. It has caused me great sorrow to not see you all these years. But don't you know? I can't take you even if I wanted to. You and Logan have woven yourself in the fabric of the universe. You and him are part of Eternity. I can't take you only, Entropy can take you. probably shortly before he takes me... even death has a death.

I know this is hard. I beg you to forgive me... but it's James's time to go. But because I love you. I waited as long as I could, he should have passed before you woke up this morning. But now you have an opportunity to say goodbye...

She moved to the bed and touched James's hand. He sat up and looked at his father.

Why are you crying, dad?

He stood up, out of the bed. Wade jumped out of his chair and embraced him tightly.

Oh, my sweet Kitten. Im so sorry. Please forgive your old man.

Wade sobs for a while before he can talk again...

I remember the day you were born... I loved you, I held you. I swore I'd burn down the world to protect you... but I can't protect you anymore...

Dad, I Don't understand. What's going on.

That's unfortunately my job to explain... but it'd be easier to show you...

She points at the bed; James looks down and to his surprise, he sees... himself. Drained of color, unmoving.

Dr. James Wilson, you have lived your life in service of others. A life well spent. But now is the time to leave that life... I'm sorry

Dad, you don't have to protect me anymore. It'll... it'll be ok.

Kitten... I love you, and though I desperately want to rage and fight and yell to keep you here longer... it's not the right thing to do. My friend here gave me an opportunity few have. I'm going to take it instead of throwing it in her face.

I love you...

I love you too Dad.

Wade hugged his son one last time, kissed him on the cheek, and led him by the hand to Lady Death.

Can... can Logan say goodbye, too?

I'm sorry Wade. I've already pushed the limits of the rules to extend this opportunity to you. I'm afraid I can't

Ok...

He looks up at James.

Your father and I will miss you. Honeybadger loved his kitten as much as I do.

I know, Dad... I know. I want you to know that I had a good life. I'm at peace. I don't want you worrying about me.

You silly boy. It doesn't matter if you're 9 or 97. I was always going to worry about you.

Lady Death extended her hand out to James.

It's time... I'm sorry, but don't be sacred. I promise where we're going isn't bad. It won't hurt.

James took her hand, and slowly took his other hand out of his father's grasp... turned and looked at him.

I love you. You were the best dad. I guess now is the time. Goodbye.

I could have been better, I'm sorry. I love you....... James... it... it might be a while before I see you again... goodbye. I'll always love you, kitten.

They walked away from Wade out the bedroom door. Wades heart broke into a million pieces as they turned to go down the hall. There was a flash of light... and he was gone.

The End.

If fan fics had credits. This would be the closing song. It is special to me... I myself would like it played at my funeral.

Below is a translation into English. Be sure to give the user who provided it a ❤️

[ecemichi]

Ring.A.Bell Chapter 12

Mao: In the end, only Tenshouin-senpai was able to dodge confessing...

Eichi: But I only spoke the truth, you know. Now then, let's move onto current love lives. ♪ This is rather school trip-like, isn't it?

Fufu, how fun...♪ Keito, Keito, is there anyone you like?

Keito: Hmph. I won’t fall for that trick again. Since you can’t partake in this conversation, I find it quite unfair for me to answer.

Eichi: Boo, you bore. You're so cruel, depriving me of the chance to live vicariously through you all with your normal high school lives.

Leo: “Living vicariously through us”, says the idiot. You must be enjoyin' yourself sooooo much, aren'tcha?

Eichi: Did you hear that, Mao, Takamine-kun? He's throwing such horrible words at me. Aren't my classmates just the meanest?

If you feel any ounce of pity for me, won't you make me smile with stories of your own?

Midori: I’ve never felt so pressed under someone’s curiosity…

Mao: Sorry, but I'm done with dancing to your tune too~.

Besides... The fact of the matter is, I don't have anything like that going on right now anyway.

Mao: Between my work as an idol, club activities, and as a member of the Student Council... I've seriously got my hands full, y'know? Everyone here's the same way, aren't they?

Keito: Well, yeah. We might’ve graduated but… Now we have our hands full with individual jobs.

Eichi: Goodness, you're all bores. Very well, let's end our playtime here and get down to business; we've spent enough time avoiding it as-is.

Leo: Whazzut? You mean the homework Naru gave us?

Mao: Yeah, probably. I feel like if we mess up again, then Arashi'll definitely be pissed off...

Leo: Yeah~... Naru's terrifyin' when she's angry, too.

Mao: For sure. Anyway, first loves don't always end up with a marriage... I feel like a lot of 'em don’t end with confessions, either.

In fact, most of 'em just don't go anywhere at all.

Keito: True. They only end up as cute but clumsy memories. We’ll never get Narukami’s approval with those.

Leo: We've gotta get Naru to green-light ‘em! Hey hey, how come we haven’t tried singin’ yet? That'd be the easiest for me to get it done!

Mao: You know, I think that sorta proposal might just work. You could put together a song and surprise 'em.

Leo: Whoo! Alright then, get ready to sing! Gimme a sec and I'll whip up a song in a flash!

Midori: Uhh? Singing with everyone is a bit… I feel like I’ll get scolded…

So we’ll not just sing as the shuffle unit, but also for this promotion video? I don’t get it, everything’s so confusing…

Leo: That's right! Wahaha! ☆ I like it! I'll approve! ☆

Midori: Well, I don’t like it, so please don’t accept it so quickly…

Keito: …Hmm. Resolve, huh.

Mao: Huh? What about resolve?

Keito: Ah, that thing Narukami mentioned before. I think it was about having resolve.

Having the resolve to share your life with a significant other. Leaving the nest you were protected in and having the resolve to now protect your own home and family. That kind of thing.

Mao: Ah, putting it like that, that does make sense... I hadn't really thought about it that way~.

We really have been depending on our parents all this time, ever since we were kids...

It takes a lotta courage to start your own family, and to look after them the way yours did for you, huh... and there's no guarantee that you'll find happiness there, either.

Keito: Indeed. One would probably have fears and troubles about the future.

Midori: ——felt the same way…?

Mao: Huh? What's on your mind, Takamine...?

Midori: Ah, umm… I was wondering if my brother had the same thoughts…

Mao: You mean the one that's getting married soon?

Keito: Oh, is that so? That's great. Congratulations.

Eichi: Wow, really? Allow me to extend my congratulations as well.

Fufu. It sure is a strange coincidence that both of you are involved in marriage, huh?

Leo: Your big bro's gettin' married?! Congrats! And now his li'l bro's practicing to propose himself, huh? A congrats to you too!

Midori: You don't have to put us on the same level. Mine is just for work, after all.

Uhh. Thanks everyone…?

Ugh… Why do people always convey their congratulations through me when it comes to this topic? I'm not the one getting married so I don't know how to react…

Mao: Ahaha. Well, it's nice to be congratulated by everyone anyway, isn't it? Makes you feel good.

Don'tcha think so?

Midori: Yeah. I thought it was selfish of my brother to leave us and got mad at that but…

After hearing what Narukami-senpai was talking about… My brother must've put a lot of thought into it before making up his mind. Then he finally prepared his resolve to leave, maybe, right…?

Mao: Yeah~. I'm not your brother, so I can't say for sure what might've been on his mind... but I think you're right on the money, Takamine.

That makes him pretty amazing though, y'know? He's not even that much older than us... but after hearing Arashi talk, I realized just how mature your brother was to take that step.

Midori: You're… right. I might've stayed mad at my brother, otherwise… Maybe I’ve been in the wrong all this time……

Mao: Then how about this? When you see that guy again, you give him the loudest congratulations you've got — and your blessing too.

Because even if he moves off, even if he gets married... You two've got an unbreakable bond, y'know? You'll always be family.

Midori: Yeah.

Mao Leo Eichi and Arashi tl: Peace

Midori and Keito tl: me

JP proof: Mika Enstars

ENG proof:ryuseipuka

←previous →next

[kimbapkimbapp]

Bkdk short fic!

Summary?

They're both idiots in love who are both lost siblings and an old marriage. And class A loves to tease them (also, sassy deku)

This happens after the war, in the second-third year (does it matter lol) and yeah Katsuki and Izuku get, along?? (They really do seriously it's just teasing each other) and Katsuki calls him Izuku already. Anyways!

—Kacchan come on! You can watch it on your TV!! —Yelled an angry Izuku.

—I don't fucking care! I want a bigger screen!

—You literally have one TV stop being a jerk!

—Hah?! And so do you!

—I don't have that channel in my TV!

—Not my fucking problem!

—You're!…ugh! —He yelled in exasperation.

Surrounding them class A didn't really know if they should run away from those two or to laugh about the situation.

Of course they chose the second one.

—Yo bro why are these two fighting again? —Asked Kaminari to Kirishima while laughing.

—I don't know man, I think they both wanna see something on the TV.

—They literally are like siblings. —Said Sero.

—Me being siblings with this stupid idiot! He wish! —Shouted Katsuki.

—I would throw a microwave at you! —Answered Midoriya.

—Fucking try, you bitch!

—Are you sure you're not secret brothers or something? —Said Sero again.

—Shut up! —Both yelled in response.

—I would die before being brothers with this asshole! —Said Katsuki.

—And to think they were making progress… —Was what the class president could say about the situation.

—At least I don't prefer to watch a cooking show before an exclusive interview of the best heroes of the USA!

—Don't act like you don't like that fucking show! You All Might wannabe!

—...Still!

Class couldn't help to break a laugh. They really couldn't help it when it came to that duo, who were a perfect mix between siblings that argue for literally nothing and besties that finish each other's sentences.

—Kacchan, could you just be NICE for once and watch it in your room?

—Why do I have to be the one that goes to his room!

—Because I don't have that channel on my TV!

—Watch it on the phone then!

—It's not the same Kacchan and you know it!

—Hah?! That's why I'm gonna watch it on this gigantic TV!

—No you're not going to!

—Hell I am!

—Not if I catch the controller first!

As soon as Izuku finished saying that they both runned for their lives to the desk where it was supposed to be the controller.

But soon they realized that it wasn't there but on Jirou's hand, who was watching a random concert.

—Jirou-san!

—Ears!

—Gimme the controller! —Both yelled at the same time.

—Uh…no? —Said Jirou totally unbothered by the situation.

—Please! I'll let you finish whatever that is!

—Fucking no! Give it to me!

—Uh… First, I'm not ears. Second, this is actually boring me so here you go Midoriya. —She said while throwing the controller to him.

—What! Why him?!

—Because he doesn't call me ears and I wanna see you mad. Besides, Midoriya would kill you if you don't let him see his hero stuff, so you're welcome.— Said while walking away.

—You're a fucking asshole!

—Cry about it! —She said while hiding a little laugh.

—Jirou is a queen... —Said Kaminari.

—Shut up, you simp! And give me that, fucking Izuku!

—No! —Midoriya said while holding it close to his chest.

—Gimme that!! —Yelled Katsuki while grabbing his face as Midoriya tried his best to pull him away.

Then he had an idea and not much later than that, the blackwhip was tying Katsuki.

—Don't you mghf!!! —Bakugou lost the ability to talk when the blackwhip tied his mouth and both his legs and hands, and all he could do was squirm like a worm.

—You could've watched your programme! But now you're not going to for being a jerk! —Said Midoriya. He was not going to untie him fearing that he would take away the remote from him.

—Rule number 1, never interpose between Midobro and Hero stuff. —Said Kirishima while laughing.

—What Kacchan? You're not saying anything? —Kaminari teased him.

The truth was that yeah Bakugou was tied, but he could still make explosions. And no matter how much Aizawa prohibited him from doing that after he 'accidentally' burned one chair, he would do it if Kaminari didn't shut up.

Fortunately for both Kirishima and Kaminari, both knew that if they didn't stop, they would probably be killed, so they left the common room while inevitably laughing.

Midoriya on the other hand, calmy switched the channel to the one with the USA hero programme, while Bakugou didn't stop squirming and casually ...yelling? If it can be considered that.

It was basically their dynamic. Getting mad for the stupidest reasons, fighting a bit and then making up like the lost siblings they were.

They both liked that to be honest. They were kind of opposites, but at the same time they were so similar, reason why they got along so well (and sometimes so not). But they both liked it and felt incredibly comfortable with each other.

Izuku wasn't afraid of interacting with Katsuki like he had been in the past, Katsuki wasn't afraid of showing a little bit of his emotions to Izuku. They were improving, time to time. But at the end of the day, both cared a lot for each other and loved spending time together.

The class also knew that they were really transparent with their actions but not that much with words. They were like brothers, yeah, but some of them also realized that Bakugou and Midoriya were more like an old marriage, which was kind of cute.

Eventually, Bakugou became calmer (he would never recognize it, but he also liked the programme). And because of that Midoriya untied him.

—It was about time, bastard.

—We can still watch that cooking show if you want to. —Responded Izuku.

—Nah, this is not that bad.

—I knew you would like it! —Said Midoriya with a big grin on his face.

—Shut up idiot!

Midoriya immediately got closer and leaned his head on Bakugou's shoulder.

—Uh… Izuku?

—Wha?

—Isn't this a little bit gay? —Bakugou asked, pointing out the situation.

—No? Why would it be?

—Because you're leaning your head on my shoulder?

—And? How 's that gay?

—Whatever, at least you're not on my lap.

Immediately after saying that, Izuku leaned his head on his lap to tease Katsuki.

—Move idiot!

—Nop.

—You're an annoying bitch you know.

—And why are you caressing my hair? —He said while Bakugou touched his curls.

—That's not fucking weird! —He replied as he stopped.

—Kacchan, don't be dumb, do whatever you want to, it's not gay. Besides, it's nice when people touch my hair.

But why then Bakugou felt butterflies whenever Midoriya was touching him? Why did it felt so good to have Midoriya's breath on his thighs? Why was it so easy to get his hands lost in his hair?

Bakugou didn't have an answer, so he preferred watching the programme while ignoring the heartbeats that were growing louder.

Yo! I wrote this shitty thing at midnight so don't rlly judge it lol

ALSO English is not my first language

[konggodzuko]

The Super Mario Bros. Movie is… pretty good, ngl. Well, I guess more accurately it’s enjoyable. Lots of fun action scenes, generally likeable characters, and a quick snappy pace. Jack Black as Bowser is phenomenal. It really feels like he somehow got all the best writing, and Jack Black’s performance is stellar. He’s a villain both inherently silly and over-the-top and genuinely threatening.

However, he very much got the best character work. Everyone else is just kinda… there, doing what needs to be done to further the plot. Luigi doesn’t get to do much. Peach gets to do more, and thankfully is very competent without coming off as a lazy attempt at a Strong Female Character. Mario is… certainly the protagonist. Chris Pratt has probably the worst vocal performance, though it isn’t really BAD. It’s more that his accent varies in strength scene to scene, one time being so strong it startled me.

Overall the movie is very much like popcorn: very enjoyable, not a lot of substance, but that’s okay. I wasn’t expecting a Mario movie to be like Spiderverse or Puss in Boots. It’s a lot of fun, and if they do a sequel and learn from the mistakes of this, I’m sure it’ll be great.

Also, a spoiler under the cut!

I was convinced that they were going to completely excise Bowser's infatuation with Peach, but holy shit it was the MAIN PLOT and I was SO FUCKING HAPPY. Like, hell yeah, gimme that old-school villain nonsense where the villain demands the heroine's hand in marriage or he'll destroy everything, I'm such a sucker for it. We got a freaking Bowser/Peach WEDDING scene in a Super Mario Bros. movie! Hell yeah.

The only thing that disappointed me was that Bowser didn't keep his suit for the whole final fight.

[fishflop-00]

Arranged Marriage Shoto Todoroki

~part 2~

btw~All characters are aged up to 18

pink-y/n

red-shoto

purple-parents

orange-endeavor

About a week after you first met Shoto your parents made you go to his UA graduation because they thought it would be good for you to see him

you really didn’t want to go

But you did and you wore a nice red slip dress with simple pearls

You wanted the whole thing and at the end you met up with him

“Hello Shoto”

“Hey”

You two awkwardly looked at each other. And when paparazzi showed up to take photos of you two you heard his dad tell him to kiss you. you both looked shocked

he leaned over and kissed you on the check

The paparazzi went crazy. You grabbed his hand and pulled him around the corner to get away from them

“what are you doing?”

“Im a famous model! you cant just kiss me in front of paparazzi!”

“Ok! im sorry..”

you two looked at each other and another group of paparazzi came over

“Does this happen to you a lot?”

“Sadly yes”

“Do you want to come over to my friends house, the whole class is having a sleepover”

“Sure, why not”

He drove you to minas house where the rest of the class was, everyone was surprised that he showed up with you.

Mina ran over to you excited and screamed to you “Are you y/n?! the model?!”

“…yea”

She squealed and rambled on to you for a couple minutes before running away to the other girls.

“Weird”

“Yea..I know, just come on”

he brought you around and you met most of the class before the games started. But right before they started shoto pulled you over to the side.

“Put this on”

he pulled out a engagement ring

“um..”

“Please just do it y/n!..my dad is making me too”

“..fine”

you slipped the ring onto your finger and you two joined the rest of the group

you all played truth or dare

A couple rounds into it it was getting intense

“So!” mina said staring you dead in the face. “y/n! truth or dare”

you got scared of the dare she would have given you

“um..truth I guess”

“Ah shucks!..gimme a sec”. After a little she looked back at you. “Who gave you the engagement ring?”

everyone turned and looked at the huge diamond on your finger

“Well..I guess Shoto did”

everyone looked around in shock. “What?! when?! tell us!” Uraraka screamed from the other side of the group

“Guys!..one question in truth or dare”

everyone sighed and continued with the game. you hid your hand behind your back.

but of course the game got pulled back to you and shoto

“So, shobros new girl!” kiri said looking weirdly focused while looking at yoy

“is that..me?”

“I think so”

“It is..truth or dare bro!” Kiri put his arm on your shoulder because hes taller and he was was kinda rubbing it into your face

“dare I guess”

“YES! Ok! kiss shobro for us!”

you and shoto turned to each other. You two only really knew each other for a week but now you were going to be forced into a kiss

you both shrugged and went for it

hes a little taller than you so you went up a bit and put a hand on his face. he put a hand on your hip and his other hand holding a drink.

You two kissed..but you didnt know if you felt anything

even though everyone else definitely did because they all cheered a bit as you two pulled away and went back to standing normaly

[cliffordbradshawcharleykringas]

beetlejuice moments that make me laugh every single time (mostly dialogue)

“how YOU doin’? woah, not good! adadoodoodeedadoo da da!”

“if you die during today’s performance the show will not stop :-)”

“apart from frustration pain and financial drain it’s fun !!!”

“look at these jugs!” (beetlejuice turns around and then looks disappointed)

the little dance they do during “what’s the point of having children if we’re drowning in debt”

“maybe 80%” “i’d say 78”

“sometimes puppet shows are sad”

“i mean say we are…dead…that’s…that’s bad, obviously-“

“ghost zombie jesuuuuuus”

“you don’t recognize me. i’m your father.” “…dad?”

the face barbara makes when beetlejuice gives her the femur

“we. are. invisible.” (spank)

“mmmmmmmYYYyyess, there’s Very Good Energy In Here”

“he’s my white whale” “i don’t see race <3”

“oh god delia. you erotic astronaut”

“you said ‘stop being so we-eird, i need this job’”

“knock knock! who’s there? happiness-!” “NO”

“it’s just a figure of speech jesus christ adam why you gotta be so sexy”

“whose head is that???” “..i don’t know..”

beetlejuice air-drumming during the first chorus of fright of their lives

“dolly levi, matchmaker!”

the backup singers in fright of their lives’s entrance AND exit

barbara and adam’s little dance after they say “let’s hide their phones!”

“fuck brigadoon”

“see you in hell! bah! i’m gone!”

“hey guys..? fuck you guys”

“let’s…haunt this biiiiitch”

whatever barbara is doing during adam’s “if we wanna win back our home” part

delia dab

“it says i’m warm, i’m friendly, and i think about death only a normal amount.”

“LYDIA NO GIMME THAT! smash.”

“what’re they saying?” “buy more crystals”

“and you have to buy a cat cause that’s your last chance to have a family”

“we used to make these haunted houses in the garage, but in the summer, so no one was expecting it”

“adam that’s not why she doesn’t like it here” “i know but it’s not helping”

third leg

“she’s always like get a job, why is your hair purple, i should have left like your father”

adam and barbara possession song and dance

“fool your friends! fun at parties! i did iiiiit”

“i was kicked in the head by a dressage horse!”

“as my guru otho always says, DAYYYYYYY-O.”

“on behalf of delia and myself, i’d just like to say WORK ALL NIGHT ON A DRINK OF RUM”

“barbara, the pig!” “who wants bacon?!” “no! stop! i’m a vegan!”

“hello! i’m from the u.s. census bureau, time for a few Oh My God!”

“if i were alive i could get out of this house, meet my kind of people. yknow socially liberal but fiscally conservative.”

“what, where’d i lose ya? oh, it’s not a real marriage. it’s like a green card thing! yeah, strictly business.”

“who are we decapitating?” “beetlejuice.” “you should! he’d love that”

“hate is a strong word, but i…do not like him!”

“woah…! this is such an interesting font!”

“a spin your own yarn kit?!?” “okay, that was not as much fun as i thought it would be”

“break it.” “*gasp*”

“you have a big brain.” “you make it big.”

“and the age gap is upsetting :D”

“👏did 👏you 👏e👏ven 👏read 👏the 👏hand👏book. 👏what 👏else 👏do 👏you 👏have 👏to 👏DO mami? you’re dead!”

“Nietzsche was right you know, to live is to suffer, bro!”

juno “running” with the walker

“your mother knew this was going to happen.. i mean not this, i don’t think anyone could have predicted this-“

“i hid it in case that dancing football player found me. he was so fast! so much poise!”

“what’s wrong sugar lumps? did you think i wasn’t coming back?” “i mean you literally jumped into hell to get away from me”

“mr. juice.”

(i’m listing this as three separate jokes)

“NOW HOLD ON ONE DAMN MINUTE.”

“MISTER beetlejuice. since we met, you have PINCHED ME, GROPED ME, and HARASSED ME, sir.”

“and i wanna tell you in front of all these people, that it! has! worked.” (skeletons gasp) “i want you, beetlejuice.” (unbuttons collar)

“saggy old asses”

“i found me a wife. l’chaim. to life.”

“i was ignored, but now i’m adored! ‘cause i extorted, tortured, and lied! give it up for my underage briiiiiide!”

“i can’t believe some cultures think this kind of thing’s alright :/“

“YOU.” (BWAMMMMMM)

every “this guy knows what i’m talking about” but especially the last one

“yeah i’m a part of this too i don’t get it but i’m a part of it!!!”

“well look at you! all ganging up against the mean lady from hell!”

“check it out lydia! now we both got dead moms!”

“delilah.” “delia.” “we didn’t hang out much. charles-“

“TELLLLL MYYYY STOOOORYYYY”

[snuggetfish]

Can you write what Majima's wedding day would be like 🥺👉👈

Ooh I’ve wanted to write about this for a while in fact. 👀 I fully believe that unlike Saejima, who’d want a traditional Japanese wedding, Majima would lean more towards something low-key and modern, maybe he’d even want to just elope and call it a day. 

But, as I’ve discussed before, if the marriage has any hopes of working, his spouse has to accept all of him, yakuza and bloodshed included... and he has to agree to share his whole life with them too. 

So then, maybe a ceremony that introduces and includes his partner in the clan could work. And since I felt inspired... mini-fic below! 💗

Over and over, he runs a shaky hand down the back of his head, as the tailor circles him like a hawk. The two other men sitting behind him are also watching intently, following the old craftsman’s gestures — a tug on a sleeve here, a tightening of the seam there. It’s been going on for the past 20 minutes at least and he’s starting to get restless.

“Jeez, ya sewing me into this thing? I ain’t even the bride,” Majima grumbles.

“Seein’ how ya like to rip yer suits clean off, what’s an extra stitch or two, kyodai?” 

“Hey, least I ain’t bustin’ through them just by bendin’ over,“ he quips back, making eye contact with Saejima through the mirror. 

Normally he’d try to imitate his bro at this point, make a show out of flexing his slim biceps to the point where you could, maybe, just barely, make out their outline through the fabric. It’s the best you can when you’re not built like the big tiger. But he knows today isn’t a day to play the clown.

“Apologies, sir,“ the tailor speaks, fastening Majima’s sleeve button again, for the tenth time after he’s fiddled it undone. 

“I’m almost finished. You haven’t had a new suit fitted in years, I want to make sure everything’s perfect as it should be.”

Well, come to think of it, there hasn’t been much reason to visit the old man’s shop lately. Snakeskin jackets are in constant supply, so much so that he doesn’t even have to call for a re-order, they simply deliver a new one right to his office every month or so. And as for suits... it’s not like he gets much use out of those, outside of the odd stuffy meeting Daigo makes him attend. 

Heh. It pleases him to think that for once, the tables are turned and Daigo’s the invitee. Closing his eye, Majima can almost picture him pacing solemnly around the reception hall, chatting to Kiryu-chan or intimidating the hell out of every Majima family member, through his attendance alone. Maybe he’s getting to know the star of the ceremony, the one the boys already reverently call “ane-san”. Or maybe she hasn’t taken the stage yet, still busy getting fretted over, same as him. After all, that dress has gotta be just...

“Perfect. Right ya are. Y’know, I figured an occasion like this could use some new threads.” 

And not the kinda fancy outfit you wear once and never again. Rather, something sharp and stylish and versatile. Attached to a memory, like all his costumes before. Only this one he’s determined to keep a pleasant memory, more comforting and symbolic than even the ring he’ll be hiding under his glove from now on. 

He’s deep into daydreaming about how one day he’ll be wearing this same suit to his son or daughter’s wedding when Nishida, who’s been sitting quietly all this time, breaks the silence. 

“Are you nervous, oyaji?” 

“Haw? No way!” He smooths through his fresh undercut again, like a man who’s definitely at least a little bit nervous. 

“I mean, it ain’t like I’m gettin’ cold feet, it’s just... “

“Not your everyday yakuza event, right?” Nishida offers.

Yeah. It’s not exactly a Tojo clan get-together, but it’s not your average wedding either. Tonight the guest list for large banquet hall at HQ skews much more eclectic: a handful of officers (the ones he can trust), some old friends like Kiryu, the chairman of course. There are no mother in laws or other relatives to speak of. Blood ties matter little. The former Sunshine girls, with Yuki at the forefront, make up the only other feminine presence apart from the bride and Majima can only hope they’re not already busy fending off advances from the more smooth-talking of his men. In fact, he’s not just hoping, he’s looking forward to putting them in their place, if need be. For all the Majima family youngsters, who’ve never even snuck a peek inside the Tojo walls before, this event is as much a treat as it is a test.

He blinks twice to dispel the haze that’s taken hold again.

“Man... who would’a thought an old hound like me would be turnin’ into a family man? Well, the other kind of family man,” he muses, picking his cufflinks as his new fidget toy. He can’t see it, but the other men exchange a glance that confirms they’re all in agreement: Majima was always “the other kind of family man.”

There’s only one more finishing touch to place — the bowtie. But as the tailor moves to loop it around his neck, Majima slips it from his hands.

“Gimme that.”

In over 20 years, not a soul has spotted Majima Goro wearing a bowtie, but somehow his fingers are uncannily skilled at tying it, a fact that doesn’t go unnoticed. They barely have time to comment on it though, because at once he turns around, beaming.

“How’s it look?”

“Handsome as always, oyaji!”

“Ya look... happy” Saejima mirrors his smile. “And handsome,” he concedes.

“But if yer ready... don’t keep her waitin’.”

Oh, Majima’s ready all right.

[birriabirria]

i didn't reblog the list of your au's but i do have it pls don't ask why

· ultimate touch: dirkkat au with ultimate dirk married to karkat

· ultimate collision: a spin-off of “ultimate touch“ where dirk and karkat *aren’t* married and karkat tries to stop ultimate dirk

· can i get another amen: dirkkat colorswap au with dirk crocker and karkat makara

· dutiful: colorswap au with karkat peixes

· draining: brokat colorswap & troll au with karkat captor, the emperor bro strider, nepeta vantas and kanaya leijon

· in the end, we’ll meet: dirkkat au where karkat and dirk are soulmates but karkat brings about the end times so dirk has to kill him to avoid it

· a dance with death: brokat au where karkat’s a prince and bro’s death

· death is a married pair: a spin-off of both “the bringer of end times and the destroyer of souls“ and “a dance with death“ where bro’s death and karkat’s his bride

· your bro went down on me. sorry: dirkkat age difference au with dirk being 17-19 and karkat’s 41-43

· stand guard: brokat bodyguard au

· gratitude: brokat colorswap & troll au with karkat megido and bro as a seadweller

· audacity: brokat colorswap & troll au with karkat pyrope and bro as a blue blood

· starstruck: brokat(/dirkkat) idol au where 1) karkat’s an idol and bro (and dirk) is his fan; 2) bro’s an idol and karkat’s his fan; 3) both karkat and bro are idols and they’re each other’s fans

· inheritance: karkat, tavros, aradia and sollux as the new midnight crew

· tOO 2POOKY: aradia, tavros, sollux and karkat as mystery solving gang!

· tOO 2POOKY recolored: colorswap au with karkat megido, sollux peixes, aradia makara and tavros ampora

· legion fell: dirkkat supers au where there’s a future villain named legion and future!dave goes back to the past to stop him

· blood red: a spin-off of “a legion strings” where karkat becomes an anti-villain

· take a sip: dirkkatbro colorswap au with karkat maryam, dirk english and bro harley

· matchmaking mess: dirkkatbro au where dirk and bro come to karkat for relationship advice. and karkat’s the one they’re interested in

· heartbeat crisis: karkat gets stuck in a dating sim where the human boys are his love interests

· emotion eater: striderkat au where karkat’s a leanan shidhe and he gives the striders inspiration while unfortunately slowly making them more obsessed with him

· rise up gamers: kanaya and karkat as gamers!

· alliance: a long time ago, the signless succeeds in his rebellion and they lowbloods make an alliance and move away from the empire. years later, karkat, tavros, aradia and sollux are sent to earth

· pack bond: thoughts about the 12 trolls being a pack

· walking dead: the vantases as necromancers au

· the vantases: scenes of the vantases family featuring carcata (beforus karkat) as the grandpa, cancri (the signless) as the uncle, kankri as the annoying cousin and karkat as the baby

· family way: a spin-off of “the vantases” where karkat’s friends have families too!

· supernatural headache: brokat supernatural au with two (2!!!) bros! there’s deiderik the vampire and derrik the werewolf

· the freaks: tavros, aradia, karkat and sollux in a band au

· songbird: brokat supernatural au with bro as a fey lord and karkat as the street singer he’s interested in

· party favor: striderkat au where karkat’s a singer, bro’s his sleazy music producer and the striders all sharing karkat

· red as a cherry: halkat childhood friends au

· bane brothers: solkat colorswap au with sollux pyrope and karkat serket

· scorch siblings: nepkat colorswap au with karkat pyrope and nepeta serket

· red diner: supernatural au where everybody else in town is supernatural while the vantases are the only humans and they run the local diner

· show you my teeth: brokat supernatural au where karkat’s a werewolf and bro’s a hunter who gets interested in him. the trolls are werewolves too! and there’s worldbuilding!

· milk and cookies and steel: nanna egbert, grandpa harley and carcata (beforus karkat) as friends! carcata bugs grandpa harley about letting jade live somewhere else that isn’t the islan

· i want it that way: idol au where the boys are an idol group and karkat’s their manager, the girls and roxy are an idol group too and nepeta’s their manager

· count your blessings: karkat is the knight of blood, the god of love and peace and the rest of the trolls are his Chosen

· my eye and my heart: johnkat fantasy au inspired by dishonored where karkat is prince john’s bodyguard. john gets kidnapped and karkat has to get him back

· defective detective: brokat au where karkat’s a-very unwilling!-teen detective and bro’s a mastermind

· haunted doll watcher: brokat au where karkat gets a haunted doll and fixes it up

· automated stitch: halkat au where hal’s a haunted doll and karkat’s an android

· daddy dearest: bro/carcata age difference au where bro’s a teen taken in by carcata

· beloved pet: a crime spin-off of “daddy dearest” where crime boss carcata brings in a lost dangerous boy

· good and bad listeners: the rest of the trolls grow up to be awesome while karkat’s karkat but they still listen to him for some reason???

· spiteful revolution: karkat’s expecting his death any day now but his friends start a revolution to stop him from being killed. karkat doesn’t help the revolution *at all*

· idolatry: brokat idol au where karkat’s a teen idol and bro’s his manager

· double time: colorswap au featuring karkat megido, kanaya captor and john strider

· fit for the gods: deity au where the trolls are gods worshiped by the kingdoms derse and prospit

· gimme some sugar: karkat’s the sugar baby of several older men

· marvelous marriage: dirkkathal supers au where karkat and dirk are married, hal is karkat’s boyfriend and 1) karkat’s a hero and dirk’s a villain; 2) dirk’s a hero and karkat’s a villain

· sword and sickle: a spin-off of “marvelous marriage“ where karkat and dirk aren’t married and karkat’s a villain who flirts with the hero dirk

· cat’s eye key: dirkkat au where dirk’s the most famous bachelor in town and stipulates that whoever catches his cat and gets the key on it can marry him. karkat finds a cat and takes care of it

· seal skin seal: halkat/dirkkat au where karkat’s a singer and dirk’s a selkie who throws his pelt at him

· a knight’s hand: dirkkat au where the knight karkat saves the prince of derse and the prince of derse follows him around trying to thank him!

· strip me down: karkat runs a swanky strip club and the boys (with hal and bro) work there

· sins and virtues: a friend’s au where the trolls and kids are touched by sins and virtues

· camera life: the kids and trolls as vloggers au

· forgotten vow: breath of the wild au where 1) feferi’s the princess and karkat’s her knight; 2) karkat’s a prince and feferi’s his knight; 3) karkat’s the prince and meenah’s his knight

· a tale of four kingdoms: jakekat fantasy au where the lowbloods have an alliance, the kingdoms prospit and derse and the alternian empire. prince jake of prospit gets a crush on future duke of the tegmen alliance karkat

· princesguard: fantasy au where karkat’s the prince and hal, jake, meenah and feferi are his knights!

· karaoke madness: thoughts about the trolls going karaoke

· the hunt has just begun: shadowhunters au where 1) the kids are shadowhunters; 2) the trolls are shadowhunters

· a strange friendship: aranea and karkat are friends! karkat gets a headache

· black wings, white wings: dirkkat/brocat d.n.angel au where dirk is bro’s tamer and kankri is carcata’s tamer

· after blood: zombie au where the kids are the aegis force who are ordered to find the troll who’s immune to the virus, karkat

· exchange words: an urban fantasy au where tavros’ prince and aradia’s his knight. karkat’s a singer, sollux’s a thief and they’re roommates

· class swap: au where the beta kids swap classes with their patron trolls and the alpha kids swap classes with their sprites

children of heaven and earth: fantasy au where the kids and karkat have Divine heritage. the kids are Children of Heaven while karkat’s a Child of Earth and has powers over a plague

i didn't expect this. thank you! this is so sweet

[birdlord]

Everything I Watched in 2020

We’ll start with movies. The number in parentheses is the year of release, asterisks denote a re-watch, and titles in bold are my favourite watches of the year. Here’s 2019’s list. 

01 Little Women (19)

02 The Post (17) 

03 Molly’s Game (17)

04 * Doctor No (62)

05 Groundhog Day (93)

06 *Star Trek IV - The Voyage Home (86)

07 Knives Out (19) My last theatre experience (sob)

08 Professor Marston and his Wonder Women (17)

09 Les Miserables (98)

10 Midsommar (19) I’m not sure how *good* it is, but it does stick in the ol’ brain

11 *Manhattan Murder Mystery (93)

12 Marriage Story (19)

13 Kramer vs Kramer (79)

14 Jojo Rabbit (19)

15 J’ai perdu mon corps (19) a cute animated film about a hand detached from its body!

16 1917 (19)

17 Married to the Mob (88)

18 Klaus (19)

19 Portrait of a Lady on Fire (19) If Little Women made me want to wear a scarf criss-crossed around my torso, this one made me want to wear a cloak

20 The Last Black Man in San Francisco (19)

21 *Lawrence of Arabia (62)

22 Gone With the Wind (39)

23 Kiss Me Deadly (55)

24 Dredd (12)

25 Heartburn (86) heard a bunch about this one in the Blank Check series on Nora Ephron, sadly after I’d watched it

26 The Long Shot (19)

27 Out of Africa (85)

28 King Kong (46)

29 *Johnny Mnemonic (95)

30 Knocked Up (07)

31 Collateral (04)

32 Bird on a Wire (90)

33 The Black Dahlia (05)

34 Long Time Running (17)

35 *Magic Mike (12)

36 Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead (07)

37 Cold War (18)

38 *Kramer Vs Kramer (79) yes I watched this a few months before! This was a pandemic friend group co-watch.

39 *Burn After Reading (08)

40 Last Holiday (50)

41 Fly Away Home (96)

42 *Moneyball (11) I’m sure I watch this every two years, at most??

43 Last Holiday (06) the Queen Latifah version of the 1950 movie above, lacking, of course, the brutal “poor people don’t deserve anything good” ending

44 *Safe (95)

45 Gimme Shelter (70)

46 The Daytrippers (96)

47 Experiment in Terror (62)

48 Tucker: The Man and His Dream (88)

49 My Brilliant Career (79) one of the salvations of 2020 was watching movies “with” friends. Our usual method was to video chat before the movie, sync our streaming services, and text-chat while the movie was on. 

50 Divorce Italian Style (61)

51 *Gosford Park (01) another classic comfort watch, fuck I love a G. Park

52 Hopscotch (80)

53 Brief Encounter (45)

54 Hud (63)

55 Ocean’s 8 (18)

56 *Beverly Hills Cop (84)

57 Blow the Man Down (19)

58 Constantine (05)

59 The Report (19) maddening!! How are people so consistently terrible to one another!

60 Everyday People (04)

61 Anatomy of a Murder (58)

62 Spiderman: Homecoming (17)

63 *To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (95) Of the 90s drag road movies, Priscilla is more visually striking, but this has its moments.

64 Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (92)

65 *The Truman Show (98)

66 Mona Lisa (86)

67 The Blob (58)

68 The Guard (11)

69 *Waiting for Guffman (96) RIP Fred Willard

70 Rocketman (19)

71 Outside In (18)

72 The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (08) how strange to see a movie that you have known the premise for, but no details of, for over a decade

73 *Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country (91)

74 The Reader (08)

75 Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (19) This was fine until it VERY MUCH WAS NOT FINE

76 The End of the Affair (99) you try to watch a fun little romp about infidelity during the Blitz, and Graham Greene can’t help but shoehorn in a friggin crisis of religious faith

77 Must Love Dogs (05) barely any dog content, where are the dogs at

78 The Rainmaker (97)

79 *Batman & Robin (97)

80 National Lampoon’s Vacation (83) Never seen any of the non-xmas Vacations, didn’t realize the children are totally different, not just actors but ages! Also, this one is blatantly racist!

81 *Mystic Pizza (88)

82 Funny Girl (68)

83 The Sons of Katie Elder (65)

84 *Knives Out (19) another re-watch within the same year!! How does this keep happening??

85 *Scott Pilgrim Vs The World (10) a real I-just-moved-away-from-Toronto nostalgia watch

86 Canadian Bacon (92) vividly recall this VHS at the video store, but I never saw it til 2020

87 *Blood Simple (85)

88 Brittany Runs a Marathon (19)

89 The Accidental Tourist (88)

90 August Osage County (13) MELO-DRAMA!!

91 Appaloosa (08)

92 The Firm (93) Feeling good about how many iconic 80s/90s video store stalwarts I watched in 2020

93 *Almost Famous (00)

94 Whisper of the Heart (95)

95 Da 5 Bloods (20)

96 Rain Man (88)

97 True Stories (86)

98 *Risky Business (83) It’s not about what you think it’s about! It never was!

99 *The Big Chill (83)

100 The Way We Were (73)

101 Safety Last (23) It’s getting so that I might have to add the first two digits to my dates...not that I watch THAT many movies from the 1920s...

102 Phantasm (79)

103 The Burrowers (08)

104 New Jack City (91)

105 The Vanishing (88)

106 Sisters (72)

107 Puberty Blues (81) Little Aussie cinema theme, here

108 Elevator to the Gallows (58)

109 Les Diaboliques (55)

110 House (77) haha WHAT no really W H A T

111 Death Line (72)

112 Cranes are Flying (57)

113 Holes (03)

114 *Lady Vengeance (05)

115 Long Weekend (78)

116 Body Double (84)

117 The Crazies (73) I love that Romero shows the utter confusion that would no doubt reign in the case of any kind of disaster. Things fall apart.

118 Waterlilies (07)

119 *You’re Next (11)

120 Event Horizon (97)

121 Venom (18) I liked it, guys, way more than most superhero fare. Has a real sense of place and the place ISN’T New York!

122 Under the Silver Lake (18) RIP Night Call

123 *Blade Runner (82)

124 *The Birds (62) interesting to see now that I’ve read the story it came from

125 *28 Days Later (02) hits REAL FUCKIN’ DIFFERENT in a pandemic

126 Life is Sweet (90)

127 *So I Married an Axe Murderer (93) find me a more 90s movie, I dare you (it’s not possible)

128 Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner (67)

129 The Pelican Brief (93) 90s thrillers continue!

130 Dick Johnston is Dead (20)

131 The Bridges of Madison County (95)

132 Earth Girls are Easy (88) Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum are so hot in this movie, no wonder they got married 

133 Better Watch Out (16)

134 Drowning Mona (00) trying for something like the Coen bros and not getting there

135 Au Revoir Les Enfants (87)

136 *Chasing Amy (97) Affleck is the least alluring movie lead...ever? I also think I gave Joey Lauren Adams’ character short shrift in my memory of the movie. It’s not good, but she’s more complicated than I recalled. 

137 Blackkklansman (18)

138 Being Frank (19)

139 Kiki’s Delivery Service (89)

140 Uncle Frank (20) why so many FRANKS

141 *National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (89) watching with pals (virtually) made it so much more fun than the usual yearly watch!

142 Half Baked (98) another, more secret Toronto nostalgia pic - RC Harris water filtration plant as a prison!

143 We’re the Millers (13)

144 All is Bright (13)

145 Defending Your Life (91)

146 Christmas Chronicles (18) I maintain that most new xmas movies are terrible, particularly now that Netflix churns them out like eggnog every year. 

147 Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse (18)

148 Reindeer Games (00) what did I say about Affleck??!? WHAT DID I SAY

149 Palm Springs (20)

150 Happiest Season (20)

151 *Metropolitan (90) it’s definitely a Christmas movie

152 Black Christmas (74)

THEATRE:HOME - 2:150 (thanks pandemic)

I usually separate out docs and fiction, but I watched almost no documentaries this year (with the exception of Dick Johnston). Reality is real enough. 

TV Series

01 - BoJack Horseman (final season) - Pretty damned poignant finish to the show, replete with actual consequences for our reformed bad boy protagonist (which is more than you can say for most antiheroes of Peak TV).

02 - *Hello Ladies - I enjoy the pure awkwardness of seeing Stephen Merchant try to perform being a Regular Person, but ultimately this show tips him too far towards a nasty, Ricky Gervais-lite sort of persona. Perhaps he was always best as a cameo appearance, or lip synching with wild eyes while Chrissy Teigen giggles?

03 - Olive Kittredge - a rough watch by times. I read the book as well, later in the year. Frances Mcdormand was the best, possibly the only, casting option for the flinty lead. One episode tips into thriller territory, which is a shock. 

04 - *The Wire S3, S4, S5 - lockdown culture! It was interesting to rewatch this, then a few months later go through an enormous, culture-level reappraisal of cop-centred narratives. 

05 - Forever - a Maya Rudolph/Fred Armisen joint that coasts on the charm of its leads. The premise is OK, but I wasn’t left wanting any more at the end. 

06 - *Catastrophe - a rewatch when my partner decided he wanted to see it, too!

07 - Red Oak - resolutely “OK” steaming dramedy, relied heavily on some pretty obvious cues to get across its 1980s setting. 

08 - Little Fires Everywhere - gulped this one down while in 14-day isolation, delicious! Every 90s suburban mom had that SUV, but not all of them had the requisite **secrets**

09 - The Great - fun historical comedy/drama! Costumes: lush. Actors: amusing. Race-blind casting: refreshing!

10 - The Crown S4 - this is the season everyone lost their everloving shit for, since it’s finally recent enough history that a fair chunk of the viewing audience is liable to recall it happening. 

11 - Ted Lasso - we resisted this one for a while (thought I did enjoy the ad campaign for NBC sports (!!) that it was based on). My view is that its best point was the comfort that the men on the show have (or develop, throughout the season) with the acknowledgement and sharing of their own feelings. Masculinity redux. 

12 - Moonbase 8 - Goodnatured in a way that makes you certain they will be crushed. 

13 - The Good Lord Bird - Ethan Hawke is really aging into the character actor we always hoped he would be! 

14 - Hollywood - frothy wish-fulfillment alternate history. I think the show would have been improved immeasurably by skipping the final episode.

[grouptalekindnesssoulstories]

To Fly A Rainbow

So uhhh...I just wanted wings? I have no other explanation

Words:~1,200

Warnings:Swearing, misgendering, homophobia/transphobia, threatening to out someone

“Lady Danielle Ekafae and her parents, Lord and Lady Ekafae” A herald announced the arrival of the last guests. Prince Roman settled his wings slightly, adjusting them to compensate for a too stiff chair. The estate who was hosting the ball had very few chairs made for the royal family and their wings. Those had gone to the King and Queen, and Crown Prince Remus. Roman knew there was another chair he could have used, but his gayness was offensive to the hosts. So he would suffer silently until the ball ended. 

“If I may, Prince Roman, I would like to request a dance with you” or not.

“Of course, my lady” He stood to honor Lady Danielle’s request. Like the perfect gentleman he was, he bowed before offering his arm. The lady giggled and took it. He swept them out to the middle of the dance floor. 

“That chair didn’t look comfortable” She remarked, eyes glittering. Curse her sharp eyes. 

“No, it wasn’t. However, a prince never complains-” He twirled her “-and my gay ass offended our hosts” 

“Well I hope Deceit strikes them soon” She took her eyes off him for the first time since the songs began. He noticed her studying the walls. 

“Usually I would say that he is a criminal and I hope he’s caught. However, because it’s you and you’d know I’m lying...I hope the same. He’s done a lot for me and my brother. Hopefully Re can come public with his marriage soon” Roman watched as for the first time all night, Danielle’s muscles relaxed. 

“Oh? Is he gay too?” She looked up at him, a small smile on her face.

“Yes. We’re twins, what did you expect? He’s married to our advisor Logan and Patton, a cook down in the kitchens. So, that’s another strike against him. Luckily, he’s good at social stuff. He also has helped marry others, who otherwise wouldn’t be able to. Our parents are trying, but the nobles aren’t budging” 

“You love him a lot. Well, I can tell you my parents are for it. They’ve accepted me since I came out” She smiled.

“Lesbian?” He dipped her, kissing her hand as he prepared to step away. She was swept away before she could answer fully. 

~~~

The rest of the party passed in a blur. Before Roman knew it, he was settling in a guest bedroom. He sighed, putting away his day clothes. He’d help wash them tomorrow, but right now he wanted to sew up a hole in his sock. As he was finishing, he heard a creak. 

“You can come in Re. I’m still up” He called softly. Instead of a door open, the window swung open of its own accord. A figure dressed all in black climbed in, making the odd event less odd. When its face turned to the prince, he saw that it was covered in snake face paint. 

“D-deceit” He stammered, scrambling backwards on the bed. Deceit just tilted his head at the prince. After studying him for a moment, the black-clad figure raised a finger to his lips and crept out of the room. Roman’s hands were shaking as he tied off his work and put his sock away. He considered going to sleep, but decided against it. Deceit occasionally left bodies in his wake and the prince’s would be quite the fuss. After an agonizingly slow hour, Deceit returned. When he noticed the prince was still awake, he once again tilted his head. 

“I wouldn’t dare hurt you, Your Highness. Besides, you have been nothing if not a leader in the fight for our rights. Sleep well, and know that you have nothing to fear” A familiar voice hissed through the painted face. Before Roman could place it, Deceit was gone. 

~~~

The next few weeks were quiet in the hunt for Deceit. After Roman reported the sighting to his parents, they stepped up the defense as well. It seemed the man had decided to lay low while the alarm was raised. 

“Ro. Why are you so distant?” Patton nudged his brother in law to startle him out of his thoughts. The Crown Prince had invited his partners and his partner to hang out in his room. Logan was busy trying to keep their husband from completely derailing a speech they were working on. 

“It’s nothing. Just thinking about what the thief told me. It still haunts me” Roman admitted after a second.

“Well, I have been looking over the records. It appears he goes after those who have been homophobic. Either behind closed doors, or openly, they all have that connection” Logan had given up trying to stop Remus, and had hidden the original copy of their work and left the other one with their husband. 

“Wait, really?” Roman straightened. 

“Indeed. and all of the murders he left a note. All of the inheriting children reported that it was a warning to not follow in their parent’s footsteps” The advisor straightened, adjusting their glasses. 

“Huh. That’s kinda neat? I guess. I know, I know. It’s rude to be glad of their deaths” Ro waved off the reprimand. Logan sighed and continued after a moment.

“Yes. Well, in an effort to prevent that, your father has compiled a list of everyone who has been against the changes. Hopefully we can prevent further crimes by our elusive friend”

“Awww, you think of me as a friend! Can you show me the list? My brain is coming up empty on who to go after next!” The group’s attention all snapped up to the top of the window. Deceit sat there, picking his nails. When they all finally took note of him, he wiggled his fingers in greeting. Remus reached for his bow. The thief clicked his tongue. 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. I told my associate that if I wasn’t back by dinner, to reveal your little secret. It would a shame if the crown prince was revealed to be gay and polyamourous!” Remus immediately lowered his bow and drew his partners behind him. 

“Deceit, please. Leave him alone” Roman begged as he stepped forward. 

“Only for you dear. Oh, and tell Dee I said hi. Well, Lady Danielle I suppose. He’s trans though. Goes by Janus. His parents are sweethearts. Use them to help get your reforms in place. Ta-ta” the familiarity of the voice finally snapped into place within Roman’s brain. 

“Wait, please. I’m sorry I misgendered you throughout” The figure paused. Before long, he turned around again. The forced hissing dropped. 

“You...you figured it out? I. I was so careful. Hit them regularly for a simple robbery to disguise it. How?” He sounded so vulnerable. Roman finally realized why it was so hard to pin down his voice. He was on T. Before he could think any more, he shot in the air to perch next to him. 

“Your voice. And how gentle you were when you saw me awake. When I used the right pronouns. there were a thousand little things that snapped into perspective when you mentioned yourself” He reached out a tanned hand, carefully wiping away some of the make-up around Janus’s eyes. 

“Get him bro!” Remus cackled, his bow returned to his place. Both of the perched duo went bright red at that. 

“Look my scaly friend, you don’t have to do this anymore. We’ve got it. Please, just....go live your life. i’m guessing your parents know?” Roman finally choked out, a flashy smile replacing the surprised expression. 

“Yea. They were the first to know. I told them when I was little, and they’ve done everything they could to help. They also figured out I was Deceit too. They told me as long as I wasn’t cruel, I could continue” Janus had a quiet smile on his face. Roman smiled and kissed his forehead. 

“I’ll take over the fight from here. Thank you dear, but it’s time for political battles” Roman made to move so his companion could leave. Before he could do anything though, Janus grabbed his sash and pulled him into a kiss. After a minute, Roman melted into it. They broke apart with twin gasps amidst cheers. 

“I never answered your question. I’m gay too. Sleep well Darling” He called over his shoulder, drawing out the name sweetly. 

“I’m so doomed”

“That you are Ro. Come on, we have dinner with Dad soon” Remus snapped his wings to get his brother’s attention. 

“Gimme...a sec. Gotta figure out what just happened” 

~~~

Seven long years, the new laws were welcomed in with the younger prince kissing his husband. 

Janus had stolen Roman’s heart for his final crime. 

[thevioletjones]

The Ian & Mickey Show

Week 9

Timestamps

3:33-4:54 - Ian wakes up hugging a pillow, presumably missing Mickey’s absent body. There’s a loud rumbling and an embarrassingly clown car-ish honking outside the house waking everybody up. It’s Mickey making a grand entrance on that sweet mint green Vespa scooter, and (very horribly and stiffly) “making out” with this unfortunate looking tiny twink named Byron (they def picked the most pretentious name possible for this interloper). Mickey is for sure putting on a big show for Ian that’s like 30% revenge, 70% pettiness. At first, you would think Mickey just paid some rando to act a part for a little while, but I guess Mickey is just conning this lil guy. Mickey grabs his ass in front of Ian, boasts about the guy’s “super tight asshole,” and casually strolls past him to get into the Gallagher house, because I guess he’s still staying there. And also, Ian’s leg is broken, but we knew that, cuz Cam. {For a better scene, keep the video rolling past the 4:54 mark and ogle Jeremy Allen White naked in the shower. It was his turn this week I guess. You’re safe, Cam.}

6:37-8:20 - Ian eats breakfast with Liam & Carl, and they discuss Mickey’s being off with the other dude, and it’s clear that Ian thinks Mickey is just lashing out and once it’s out of his system, he’ll just come back. Lip and his baby mama and her crazy Trumper aunt are in the scene as well. They all concur that in Lip’s words, “Ian left Mickey at the altar,” but Ian doesn’t see it that way. He honestly thinks they were gonna get married for the wrong reason. His contradiction and ambivalence is honestly the only thing that feels realistic about all of this mess. 

13:30-14:36 - Mickey continues needling Ian very broadly and obviously about how great this Byron kid is and how much sex they’ve been having, and even implies he’s a Koch, which is silly. Mickey goes so far as to claim he’s in love with this guy (they met last night) and says he’s moving in with him. It’s dumb-o. 

18:35-20:58 - Ian somehow just now discovers that 50% of all marriages end in divorce????? That’s been true for so long now, even someone the show is now painting as kind of an idiot (but not half as big of one as Mickey is) would know that stat. It’s just more EXPOSITION. Anyway, he’s hanging out with Liam in the kitchen, and Debbie comes in. Ian tells her that: “Mickey’s a punk, and he’s decided he’s gonna fuck other people if I don’t marry him.” She says Ian’s just scared, and he should marry Mickey to make him happy, even if it does end in divorce eventually. Ian’s all, “I’m not scared,” but not even Liam believes him. Ian invites Liam to go run an errand, and they steal Trumpy Aunt’s wallet on the way out.

28:06-28:54 - OMG, small Byron has that bright Disco Overlook Hotel area rug from Ikea that I really wanted to buy some years back adorning the floor of his tiny loft. Sad face. Anyway, Mickey barges in and throws his garbage bag of crap everywhere and says he won’t share the bed, Byron needs to sleep on the floor. Says some lines about when he wants his dinner served, and how they’ll only have sex when Mickey wants to, and obviously he’ll top cuz this dude’s “basically a chick,” which is a funny line, tbh. ALSO, this pretty much proves they haven’t even actually banged, since they haven’t even discussed preferences. Lol. So yeah, Mickey is using this kid for anything and everything he can, cuz he found a big ol’ sweetie pie pushover (that’s maybe a little bit afraid of him). 

33:50-34:36 - Ian makes Liam try on engagement man-rings, because: “Mickey has freakishly small hands.” They’re at the Alibi and combing through the jewelry a shady hawker is selling. Ian buys two rings on Trumpy Aunt’s credit card. 

42:53-44:52 - I really miss Ian & Lip scenes, tbh. I used to love their brotherly friendship. Some of the old magic feels back in this scene, idk. Ian tells Lip he’s gonna go propose to Mickey. Lip asks him why, and Ian says it’s cuz he loves him, but then after a pause says that Debbie told him to. Even though Ian wants Mickey back, he also clearly wants Lip to talk him out of marriage, which he kind of does (for now). Lip says he should do it one day, after he figures out why he doesn’t want to now. 

47:06-51:10 - A genuine FOUR MINUTE scene! Ian shows up at Byron’s place (where’d he get the address tho???) and Mickey’s been hanging out there for like a handful of hours maybe, but this lil dude just wants him GONE already. Lmao. He clearly knows who Ian is and practically runs into his arms in a grateful hug, saying, “Oh, thank god, PLEASE take him back!” Ian is like wtf, and waits as this guy calls Mickey “honey” and says he has a visitor. Mickey makes another big show implying impending sexy times, grabbing at a very not into it Byron as he retreats up the stairs. Mickey seriously greets Ian like, “What’s up, bro!” I meeeean... Anyway, Ian I guess decided in transit that he’s not gonna propose, he’s just gonna say these are “promise rings” and has some line about how: “Gallaghers and marriage don’t mix well, but a Gallagher keeps his promise.” Since... when??? Like... Frank??? And... what??? Lol... Mickey’s not buying that shit either. He makes a good point about Ian not even wearing his “promise ring” on his finger, but around his neck instead (someone caught a Sex & the City rerun where Carrie carries that rock on a necklace, cuz she’s def not sure about marrying Aidan), where no one can even see it. Ian says he’s not saying “never” to marriage, and Mickey counters that he’s actually saying that he doesn’t love Mickey enough right now. And then he says he’s got Barry anyway, and Ian has to correct the name, which is a nice touch, I’ll admit. And then comes Cam’s best bit of acting on this show in like Y-E-A-R-S. I always thought he did best when he was in depressed/manic mode, and that comes through here when Ian actually gets to the heart of his real fears about committing fully to Mickey, which are of course that he doesn’t trust himself and doesn’t think Mickey should be tied to him and all his crazy bullshit. He doesn’t understand how Mickey can know for sure that he loves him. All that internalized shit is stuff I can easily actually relate to, and this is really the first 100% truly honest moment we’ve had between IxM in all of season 10. I hope we get one or two more by the end. I don’t really completely buy Mickey’s reaction being, “When you get over the ‘I’m not worthy of being loved’ shit, gimme a call,” because he is the fucking KING of not thinking he’s worthy of being loved! That's always been a huge component of who he is, and how I always write him to be, personally (always struggling to think of himself as worthy of anything good, particularly love, among many many other internal struggles, obvs). He also knows exactly how low Ian can get on his down-swings, and since we know from s5 that Mickey likes taking care of Ian, I just don’t think he’d treat him this way. I’m not saying he would give in, but we would see some softness come through. A lighter touch. Anyway, Ian looks super sad as he walks away, but then he spots Barry’s Vespa in the alleyway and gets his own bit of petty revenge (on the wrong person) by pissing in his gas tank, cuz Shameless!

Episode Tally: 8 scenes. 13 mins 10 secs.

[neshabeingchildish]

Poly Wanna?

A/N: So, I had some different ideas rushing through my head of who and how I wanted these characters to be. They may start in a place that you would not expect or can’t imagine, but just keep in mind that I try to write things a little differently each incarnation of a fic and hopefully nobody checks out within the first few paragraphs. Gimme a chance. It’s delicate content, and I promise I’m trying to do their relationship justice, not just write some trash that throws them all together. I will say that this may be the most adult content of all the content that I bring into this fandom, but STILL no sm*t, okay? Will definitely mention some things that take and have taken place. Enjoy, and let me know how you feel, unless you hate it. Then, Chile stop reading and go. I don’t wanna waste neither of our time with that situation.

And just to tag the folk who initially expressed interest the first time, and lemme tell y’all… This tagging was a little difficult for me, so I shalln’t be doing it again, I don’t believe. You ain’t gotta read it, either. I just wanted to extend the invite for anybody who might have been interested: @adorkable-blackgirl  @chenoahchantel @cactus-con @up-the-tube @riebellion  @itsyaapollochild @oof–musicals @lesbian-so-what @woahjusttakeiteasy-man @meadowstryingtobepretty @imma-sensitive-btch @okaygal21 @midernacht @divinereign4ever @xoxoemille @starry-nightschool

Plot: Pansexual Playboy Henry Hart finally decides to settle down, with his two best friends, Jasper & Charlotte. Each have a history with him and a present with each other, and he simply can’t let either of them go… Not this time around.

01. Reality Bites

Charlotte had just moved the last of her things into Jasper’s apartment and was not even the least bit interested in trying to unpack, yet. She had packed two all encompassing luggage bags with all of her necessities to live out of for a moment, just in case it didn’t work out wonderfully and she had to abort this mission. In the meantime, the beginning of their little life together was at least cute. Jasper had cozy surroundings. His parents didn’t like for him to have things growing up, so he was one of those people who was satisfied with less. But… Charlotte was used to high quality and high maintenance, so she would definitely be turning this place around, if they lasted.

She was having some trouble getting on her feet. It wasn’t that she wasn’t qualified to do things. She definitely was. She went to school. She got degrees. She applied for jobs. She worked them. The thing was that she had this bad habit of putting in less effort than the company wanted. A lot of productivity rules were just busy work and programming. She only wanted to do what was necessary to get her work done. Bosses hated her for that. She was constantly getting fired and had gotten to the point where her parents were sick of it and forced her to get out of their place. “You could always go back to the Man Cave,” Jasper had suggested. Yeah, right. Where Henry was? 

He was part of the problem. She had put so much into him, into them and he simply moved on as soon as it got a little bit difficult, as was his romance method of operation. After that, she wondered why even try to hard when you could simply to whatever you had to and get good results. To be fair and honest, had she thought more about it, she might have realized that what she was actually experiencing was heartbreak and depression. But, she thought that she was just tired of people taking advantage of her.

Jasper, on the other hand had been doing fine. He wasn’t doing great, but he was at least working regularly and was able to afford to take care of himself. Then again, he didn’t eat healthy, keep groceries stocked, or have the best products in the place. In fact, at the moment, he had wine on the kitchen counter, half a bag of tortilla chips in the pantry, and one shelf of condiments on the door of the fridge, with beer on the top rack. So… He didn’t have himself together, but he did have working water, electricity, a vehicle, a home… stuff that she was lacking on because she couldn’t be happy in any career path she had tried, thus far.

But, they found each other again, after some time apart and some distance. Their friendship faltered slightly when he admitted to her some years ago (some months after she and Henry were over) that he and Henry were together. WTF? She didn’t know what part of bro-code,girl code… (friendship? code) was being violated by that relationship, but she felt in her bones that it was betrayal and so, she was good on him. She was good on him a couple of years later when he apologized and told her that karma had caught up to him, because Henry had broken things off. She was good on him up until she came into this bar to meet up with a friend for a promotion celebration and he was serving drinks and let her drink for free. 

It became her thing. She certainly wasn’t able to buy her own drinks, not regularly, anyway, and she’d forgotten how good of a listener Jasper was. She could complain about her problems and drink them away, and she had a good listener available who wasn’t going to take advantage of her if she got too drunk. After a while, it started being hanging out socially, then talking on the phone, texting, social media and finally, she began spending nights. 

They didn’t put any label on things. Labels made Charlotte nervous and Jasper was simply in a headspace where he just wanted to try to enjoy life, with or without someone in it, but it was wonderful to have somebody in it that he had known for so long. It was also good to know her in this new way.

By the time that she was moving in and looking for another job, they had been seeing each other for five months. That was also around the time that Henry called about his opportunity to be on a reality tv show. He called Jasper, not Charlotte, but upon learning that they were together, invited her along, as well. The last thing that she wanted to do was see Henry, but she also didn’t trust him around her Jasper, so she went along just to feel him out. 

Whenever they got to the place, Junk N Stuff was gone, as were several of the neighbors to it and now there was this brownstone and Charlotte was confused, but Jasper went right inside, like he’d been here before. There was a doorman there that looked familiar to Charlotte, but she didn’t know why. “Hey, Gooch. What’s up?”

“Gooch?” She repeated and took a look at the guy. He did look like the Gooch she remembered, but he was much younger. “Wait, did Schwoz find some kind of way to reverse aging or something?”

Jasper laughed and said, “It’s Gooba’s son. Finding out about him was one of the reasons he left. Anyway, we can talk about that later.” Gooch’s son was staring at Charlotte. He looked a little bit younger than them, but not so much that he wouldn’t have been a full kid whenever they initially worked with Gooch. Anyway, she smiled politely and kept following Jasper. 

“How long has this been here?” She wondered.

“Couple years.”

“It’s conspicuous. What does Henry even do that people would reasonably believe that he could have this built and live here?” She wondered.

“You… really have chosen to fully avoid him, huh?” Jasper asked.

“He’s the worst. I don’t need that kind of energy. Mine already sucks.” Whenever they entered the place that she guessed was Henry’s she quickly had that confirmed by the huge, wall sized painting of himself, nude, but covered gingerly with flowers, in a flower crown with flowers what, falling from the sky? She sighed at the painting, rolled her eyes and they followed his voice. 

“Well, I don’t have the time for that type of contract, Levi! I’m about to be in talks for my new show…” He noticed them and smiled, waving them inside, “And I have guests arriving now. No, not clients. I told you, I don’t have appointments today. Look, just fix it. I’ll talk to you later.” He hung up and turned around, “Char!” He said, excitedly and rushed to hug her and pick her up from the ground. “You look gorgeous. I see your teeth are still perfect and you’ve let your hair and skin join the perfection club, as well.”

“They always were, but thanks for noticing.” She blushed and looked at the ground as Henry went to hug Jasper, too. 

“And you! Buddy… You gonna cut the beers, or nah?”

“Char’s fine with the beer belly.”

“It’s not a beer belly,” she cut in. “He’s always been a little bit gooey.”

“He wasn’t with me,” Henry said and gave Jasper a smile that said that he was thinking of those days, or nights, or… whatever. 

Charlotte stepped in between them and reminded him, “Well, he isn’t with you.”

“Right! The two of you, now. So… That’s interesting. Unless both of you have changed drastically, I never would have pegged you two to be sexually compatible.”

“What, are you a professional sexual compatibility… person?” Charlotte asked.

Henry smiled and corrected her, “Liscensed sex therapist, with special focus on sex positive therapy.” She sighed. Of COURSE, he’d get a degree on sex. “Don’t look like that. My work is very important! I help save marriages. I help people not hate themselves for being normal. What kind of fancy schmancy science is keeping Charlotte Page’s attention these days.”

“The kind where I bring drinks to tables until I get back into another lab.”

“Her bad attitude gets her fired a lot,” Jasper said.

“Not my bad attitude. Corporations’ insistence on overworking people who know better than to allow themselves to be used,” she corrected.

“Having a money issue?” Henry wondered.

“I haven’t found the right lab yet, that is it,” she insisted.

“Okay. Well, if, while you’re looking, you don’t mind having a camera or two pointed in your face, I want to invite you two to be a part of the cast for my new reality show adventure.”

“How the heck are you gonna have a reality show whenever half of your life is a secret?” Charlotte wondered. “Wait… Are you no longer Swellview’s hero? Because, I will definitely work in the Man Cave if you’re not gonna be there.”

“I am the new hero man of Swellview. Captain Man is still working, because he is indestructible and not super old yet. But, yes, we are partners.”

“Are you Man Danger?” Charlotte asked.

“He’s Dr. FeelGood,” Jasper said. 

“MISTER FeelGood. Dr. Feel Good is copywritten.”

“Both are corny,” Charlotte said.

“You’re a waitress who has like seven degrees,” Henry said.

“Ouch,” she replied. 

“To answer the question you asked before the cascade of shade that you threw me, I’m gonna do the show with production that knows that I’m Mister FeelGood, so they will never record or release anything that has me working in that way, because they work for me.” Charlotte raised her hand. “Yes?”

“So… Was Man Danger unavailable in the superhero names database, Danger just too vague? Captain Danger too much like Captain Man? Like… what possessed you to go to Mister FeelGood?” 

Henry smiled and rolled his eyes then pointed to Jasper, “You in?”

“In? Like… What is the show even about? Just following you around and recording all of your life when you aren’t fighting crime?”

“It… Is about me coming out of the shadow of all of my Swellview celebrity friends and trying to become a Swellview celebrity, in my own rite.”

“Swellview has celebrities?” Charlotte wondered.

“Whenever I go places, people still say things to me like, “Hey - you used to be friends with that science girl, Charlotte. Whatever happened to her? Or, hey - do you ever still talk to Jasper Dunlop? It was so cool that he was a real hero, much like Kid Danger. I thought WAS Kid Danger, at some point! Or, what’s happened to the guy who used to own that junk shop? He doesn’t get voted for as the most handsome man in Swellview anymore. Did he die?” Charlotte and Jasper were both laughing and leaning on each other. Henry said, “I have my own private practice. I help people in my daily life and I’m a superhero. I would like to be seen as something other than the guy who’s dated TWO girls from Kids in the Woods.”

“OH MY GOD!” Charlotte said and cackled.

“I totally forgot about that! And I just had spa day with them last month!” Jasper said.

“With Bianca and Chloe?” Henry wondered.

“Yep. They started taking me with them after you and I broke up. There’s a Henry Hartbreak Plan, so you’re definitely not riding on just our forgotten celebrity alone.”

“A Henry Hartbreak Plan?” Charlotte repeated.

“It’s a boost of vitamins and painkillers, a punching bag workout set to music, a shower. massage, detox, and a long snuggly nap. The spa owner has some history with Hen, too.”

Henry sighed and pointed at finger at Jasper, “That was mostly in her head!”

“That spa day sounds valuable. You didn’t tell me about all that. You just said Girls Day with the Hartbroken Club.”

“Come next time,” Jasper said. 

Henry watched the two of them talking. They were both still extremely attractive and each had that lovers’ glow with each other. It made him miss them, both. He missed their friendships and he missed being with them. Of course, those were two separate relationships, but he missed those relationships. He had never had anyone like either of them before. He thought that he would never get over Jasper and still wasn’t, but the surprise of seeing Char again, and her being even more perfect than he’d remembered… He was unsure of how he had ever gotten over her. Looking at them both right now, he realized that he hadn’t. He just thought that he had. “It’s only a thousand dollars per episode for this first season, if it even goes beyond that, but…”

“I’m in,” Charlotte said.

“I could use an extra couple of thousand, as well,” Jasper said.

“Cool… Why don’t you let Bianca and Chloe know. Of course, everyone will have to speak with my production team on camera to see what they think, but… I believe that they’d like to have all of the components of my celebrity associations for this thing.”

“So, does that mean that Piper is involved?” Charlotte wondered.

“We can’t really pay Piper to be involved, but she did tell me that if the show makes waves, then we’ll talk…” He was barely done with his comment and Charlotte was laughing at him. “She told me that you two still talk, though. She didn’t give me your number.”

“I girl coded her not to years ago, when I changed it,” Charlotte said. 

“My assistant Levi will need it, to let you know about appointments and stuff.”

“It’s cut off. Just call Jasper. We live together,” she said with a shrug.

“You live together? It’s… that serious?” he wondered, a little bit heartbroken, though he wasn’t sure from which one, but leaning towards both.

“I mean… It’s going great,” Jasper said and wrapped an arm around Charlotte.

Henry nodded, and blinked away the sadness that he felt might show in his eyes. “Well, congrats on that. You two deserve to be happy, more than anybody else that I know.” He reached forward to pull both of them into a hug. Jasper returned it, but Charlotte froze up, and he noticed that she’d done so earlier too. He pulled back and looked at the two of them. They clung to each other as they both fought to tear their eyes away from Henry’s face, so neither of them had seen their reactions to him, but he had seen both. “Later,” they said. Henry smiled and saw them out. So, they were in for the show at least. He hoped that the cameras wouldn’t catch too much of all of that emotion that was floating through the room.

[decisionsmbj]

Chapter 25: Till I Stop Breathing

“Nyla! Baby, please listen to me! I don’t know what the fuck she’s talking about! Baby! Please, just stop for a second and listen to me!” Kari yelled after her.

“Fuck man! If I lose my family behind this stalker messy shit, I’m killin’’ everybody!” He said to himself.

Nyla tried to close the bedroom door before Kari could follow behind her, but it was no use since she still had Amiyah in her arms.

“She just sucked you off, right? That’s the story you’re sticking to? Huh! I have you every opportunity to tell me the truth. EVERY OPPORTUNITY! How could you do this to me? To us!” Nyla snapped at him with tears in her eyes.

She didn’t want to hear anything he had to say and just needed some space. She was so confused as to what to do. From Kim showing up at the baby shower to catching him and her in his office kissing and now this. Nyla didn’t know what to do.

“I need to get outta here! I can’t even look at you right now!” She tells him as she heads to their closet.

Kari walked in after her.

“Where you think you going with my daughter? You not going anywhere with her so chill that shit out! I get that your mad but I did tell you the truth! I don’t know what the fuck that girl is talking about! Ny baby, you gotta believe me! I’ve haven’t slept with another person since we been together, I put that on Amiyah!” He pleads as he watched his fiancé throw clothes into a suitcase.

Nyla stopped what she was doing when she heard him say their daughter’s name. She turned around and looked at him as tears fell down her cheeks one after another.

“Baby, I swear to you I didn’t sleep with that girl!” He tells her as he wiped her tears away. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but I’m gonna find out. Stay here, okay. I’ll go chill at Mila’s to give you a minute. I don’t want you out here with Miy. You mad and I get that..I would be too so I’ll give you some space. Just promise me that you won’t leave?” Kari asked.

“I promise I won’t leave and not tell you where I am.” She answered.

Kari just stared at her for a moment before he pulled her clothes out of the suitcase and walked over to where Nyla was sitting on the bed. She was still crying silently when he sat down next to her. He took Amiyah out of Ny’s arms and held her close to his chest.

“Why is this happening to us?” She asked.

“I dunno, baby. Just gimme a few, okay. I’m gonna get to the bottom of it. I promise you!” He said as he kissed her on the side of her head before doing the same to Amiyah.

He gave her back to Nyla and stood up so he could walk out of the room. Nyla just sat and cried. She didn’t know what to do. Should she stay or leave? Give up or fight for her family? Whatever she decided to do, she needed to have a clear head and with Kari being gone, she would have time to do just that.

——————-

Kari drove to his sister’s condo. He was still thrown off by what had happened earlier. He had a feeling he knew who was behind all of the drama but he didn’t have any solid evidence at this point, an only mere coincidence. He knew if anyone could help him get to the bottom of what was going on.

When he got to Mila’s door, he used his key to open it walked in. His sister had her stereo on so he yelled out to her that he was there since she was upstairs.

“Hey. What you doing here? You should be home with my baby!” Mila said as she walked over to hug her younger brother.

Kari gave her a look that she knew all too well.

“What happened now?” Mila asked.

Kari looked at her and shook his head as he sat down on the couch.

“Sis, I’m about to catch a case! Someone is fuckin’ with me and Ny..like they trying to break us up!” He said as he put his head in his hands. “I fucked up a while ago when I went out with the homies and ended up gettin’ head from this chic from the club..”

Mila hits Kari upside the head. “What the fuck is wrong with you! You trying to ruin your relationship? Nyla didn’t deserve that and you know it!” Mila told him.

“I know she didn’t and I confessed and told her the truth but now the same chic just popped up at the house talkin’ about she pregnant with my kid and that’s a Gotdamn lie!” He said.

“Just popped up out of the blue? That doesn’t make any sense! Where did you meet her?” Mila asked.

“At this club downtown months ago!” He answered.

Mila looked straight ahead. “You mean the chic in the pictures that were on Instagram?” Mila asked.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah! That chic! I ain’t never slept with this woman in my life!” Kari tells her.

Mila grabs her phone from the coffee table and pulls up her Liked list to find the photo. “This the chic you talking about?”

Kari looks at the photo and nods his head. “Fuck yeah that’s her ass! I don’t know what the fuck she on but she ‘bout to get fucked up!”

“That’s Sinnea..I just saw her like a week ago at Max’s drunk off her ass with Kim! Her and Kim are like best friends! She damn sure as hell ain’t pregnant! You sure it was her?” Mila asked again.

“YES! That was her! She showed up at my fuckin’ house today on some bullshit!” Kari snapped.

“Lil’ bro, go home and be with Nyla and Amiyah...I’ll handle this! Kim is behind this shit and she about to see me!” Mila said.

“Nah, sis! I got this!” Kari said as he stood up to leave.

He was going to handle his ex if it was the last thing he did!

——————-

When Kari pulled into the driveway, he sat for a moment and said a small prayer that Nyla was still in the house. He didn’t see her Levante in her spot which meant she could have left or pulled it into the garage. He was a nervous wreck. As he took a deep breath, he got out of the car and headed to the front door. As soon as he got close, he smelled the familiar smell of food being cooked and he smiled. He knew his fiancé was still home and hasn’t left.

“Nyla? Baby, where you at?” He called out but didn’t get an answer.

He walked through the house towards the kitchen and saw her standing outside on their deck with the grill open. “Baby, c’mere so I can talk to you.”

“I already know. I just hung up with Mila. I just want you to know, when I see her it’s in sight! The nerve of this psycho bitch to think this is cool! I should have known something was up when she popped up in the bathroom at our baby shower!” Nyla said.

Kari looked at her with a twisted face. “What you mean popped up at the baby shower? You never told me she was there! What happened?” He asked getting angry.

“I was going to tell you but when I got outside, she wasn’t there. By the time we left, my mind really was on other things. I didn’t think anything more of it until I saw her in your office. I’m still pissed about that kiss! Now with her so-called best friend trying to pull a stunt, I’m going to beat her ass!” Nyla said as she walked back into the house to check on Amiyah.

Kari grabbed her and pulled her into him. “No! I don’t need you out here getting into any shit. You just had our daughter and you’re still healing from major surgery. I got this. You just  be here and take care of Miy.” Kari told her.

“No way am I not going to be involved with checking this crazy woman!” She told him.

Kari kissed Nyla’s forehead. “Alright, fine. You can help me check her but if shit starts going left, you sitting your ass down!” he told her.

Nyla asked Kari to go check the steaks that she had just put on the grill for their dinner. She went to check on Amiyah and to grab her baby monitor to bring into the kitchen as she plated their food. She knew in her heart that Kari would never do anything to hurt her and when Mila called her, that confirmed it. She loved her man and with all of the extra drama starting to surround them because of a jealous ex, she wanted to marry him now more than ever. When Kari came back inside with the steaks on the platter, she grabbed the platter out of his hands and leaned up to kiss him.

Shocked, Kari looked down at Nyla. “You good, babe”?” He asked.

“I’m good...but I’m over the stupid drama. I want to get married now! What are we waiting for?” Nyla asked.

“Babe, you know your dad would kill me if he didn’t get to walk you down the isle. We got a planner and everything will happen like we want it to.” He said as he down at the table.

Nyla had brought over the cooked sides and started plating their food before sitting down to join her fiance’.

“What if we just went down to the courthouse? We could get married now and still have a wedding later. No one will know but us and this is what I really want. I want a wedding and all but I want to be married to you more.” Nyla said as Kari smiled.

“You really wanna be married to me?” Kari asked with a smile.

“Yes, I do! I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I don’t care who likes it!” She said.

“Okay! We will go down to the courthouse tomorrow morning and we will get our marriage license done and then go get married when we’re finished. That work for you?” Kari asked her as he dimpled.

Nyla got up from her seat and walked over to where Kari was and sat on his lap. “Yes, that works for me! I love you.” She said as she kissed his lips.

“I love you, too! We got this! I promise I will never let anything happen to you or us as long as I live.” Kari told her as looked into her eyes.

He was so in love with this woman, he couldn't see himself ever living without her. He would put his life on the line before he let anyone come between their love and he was ready for whatever was headed their way. Nyla and Amiyah’s protection and happiness were his motivation to succeed and be better than he was the day before and he was not going to let anyone or anything come in between what they had.

——-

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #476

“yeah, i am the brain, some say insane”

What is your favorite Pixar film? Finding Nemo. Who was the last person to send you any sort of message on social media? My sister Misty. Would you rather build a snowman or a snow fort? Why? Snowman. I think you can personalize them better. At what age do you believe children should begin having screen time? I don't know. I guess it would depend on the kid. Have you ever failed an important test? Which subject? Yes; I failed my last Algebra final and the course. Who taught you how to ride a bike? How old were you? My dad. Idr how old I was. Do you know what your ring size is? What is it? Nope. When you picture dinosaurs in your head, what color are they? Like a darkish red or green. Last candy you tried that you did not enjoy? Or one that you did enjoy? No clue. Were you a chubby or thin baby? I was your average size. What is the most outrageous thing you’ve considered doing lately? Trying to get a cubicle job. Like seriously, NOBODY wants those. I don't either, but I just don't know what other options I have that don't require a degree and I'm not flocked by other people. I'd probably have some duties on the phone, but like... I'm not going to find a job I qualify for that is perfectly reclusive. Have you ever known somebody who ran away? Not personally, no. Rollercoasters that go upside-down… yes please or no thank you? NO FUCKING THANK YOU. Can you have kids? I would assume so, but honestly I wish I physically couldn't with how intensely I fear being raped. Are you a fan of Elton John? I've never really listened to his music and know very little about him as an individual. What does your town’s name begin with? "R." Are you a seafood fan? Nooooo. The one and only seafood I enjoy is shrimp. Give me a random word in another language. Tell me what it means. "Himmel" is "Heaven" in German. Odd how that was the first one to come to me, ha ha. Which city would you like to visit- Rome, Tunis, London, Madrid or Paris? Rome. New tats in your near future? Sadly no. :/ I have to focus on more important things. Did you ever participate in beauty pageants as a child? No. I don't support those. Have you ever ridden in a limousine before? No, but I've always wanted to. :( What's the most amount of money you'd pay for a house or a vehicle? Idk, considering I'm not familiar enough with what is considered reasonable and average for either. What's the longest wait time you'll wait at a restaurant to be seated? If it was actually up to me, shit, maybe only 15 minutes. I am way too impatient, and I'd rather just go to another place than wait for a while. Have you ever been given a responsibility that you couldn't handle? Did you mean: my past three jobs? Did you ever try to start a club as a child? For what? I feel like my friends and I did before... but I remember nothing of it. Who was your favorite babysitter as a child? My sister had this friend in our neighborhood as a kid whose grandparents used to watch us. The grandpa we knew as "Uncle Donny," and he was bar none our favorite. He was such a sweet man. Have you ever cared for a stray animal before? Cats, on many occasions in the past. [TW: SUICIDE/OVERDOSE] Have you ever contacted a suicide or crisis services hotline? For whom? Yeah, for me. I tried first to reach them online in one of those private chatrooms, but I want to say I waited around 30 minutes with nobody available. I was so desperate that I tried calling too, but again, it was too busy. That's when I ODed. Is there anyone from your family that you no longer associate with? I have an uncle by marriage that's an abusive, manipulative fuck that NOBODY associates with, except his brainwashed daughters. Do you have any illnesses that reoccur frequently? I mean, I have mental illnesses that flare up now and again, but no traditional illnesses. What is your sexual orientation? Queer or pansexual, idk man. Have you ever done any drugs harder than marijuana? I've never even done weed. What is one job you would never want to have? I would, no exaggeration, rather die than be a butcher. I could never in five trillion years. Do you bite or peel your string cheese? I don't like string cheese. Who crosses your mind the most? Girt, nowadays. I know, a fucking shocker who wasn't the answer. Have you ever been on a scavenger hunt? In school, yeah. Ever been to an auction? No. Are there two colors that you just simply despise? Puke green and yellow. If you were a fish, what colour would you like to be? I wanna be the Rainbow Fish. :') Did your first real significant other change you at all? You have literally no idea. Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? No. What’s your favorite football team? I don't like football. Or even understand it. Do you have anything autographed by a celebrity? No. What’s your favorite way to eat peanut butter? Gimme a Reese's and I'm a happy bitch. :^) What’s your favorite kind of sandwich? I'm basic, just hand me a pb&j. How are you today? Worried about my mother since she has Covid now. I'm not feeling too hot, either. Was any of your home decor inspired by Pinterest? No. What is this month’s calendar picture? I don't own a current calendar. What is your last ex-boyfriend’s or ex-girlfriend’s name? Sara Jane. I prefer to refer to her as just my best friend, though; "ex" usually implies negative feelings in some way or form, and I've none of those. Do you use Snapchat? I never have. Would you rather go out for pancakes or steak? Yum, pancakes. Are you the clubbing type? No. Clubs don't appeal to me at all. Is your ex sexually attractive to you still? I haven't seen him in literally years. I wouldn't know. What is unattractive about them? The fact he apparently can't accept a mentally ill partner. Supposedly, he broke up with the girl he dated after me for the same reason he left me: her having depression. Like bro, good fucking luck finding a girl who doesn't struggle with something. Good luck finding someone who's going to be on Cloud 9 all the time. And also, he never communicated what he was feeling. Do you have a crap load of friends to hang out with? God no. The only person I hang out with is my boyfriend. Honeymoon, where? Alaska, if it's a good time of year to see the Northern Lights. If not, maybe the Bahamas to visit their black and pink beaches. The heat and humidity put me off, though... Lipstick over the actual natural lip line, your thoughts? It's capable of being attractive if done well and it's not too extreme, unless you're only looking from a distance. It can look especially great on drag queens imo. How would your wedding bouquet look like? Depends on the time of year, really. I kind of want to say black regardless, but I think that would blend too much with my dress (which I want to be black). Maybe if it was in the fall, which I want, it'd be orange and black to fit the Halloween vibe I'd love to have as a theme, perhaps a rich red, or light pink and white... idk. That's far in the future. What kind of game would you like to play that doesn’t exist yet? Bro, give me a meerkat simulator. There's the Lead the Meerkats Wii game that I ADORE, but I think the concept could be greatly expanded upon and made more realistic. What is one thing you would never ever eat? Balut came to mind very quickly. That looks like the grossest shit imaginable. I'll never forget seeing it for the first time on GMM and wondering how neither of them literally died where they sat lmao. There are a LOT of other foods, too. I'm incredibly picky. Which character in your favorite movie do you hate the most? Every single character from The Lion King is so lovable. Which non-existing (sci-fi and such) weapon and/or vehicle would you like to own/use? Bro, I want Thori'dal from WoW. A bombin' bow with unlimited, magical arrows? That shit's dope. Could save your life, and plus I love bows. How do you think the world will end? Humanity's end will almost certainly be rooted in human action. The end of the planet itself will probably be a black hole, gamma ray, or something else supremely powerful. If you could take a pill that would cure something in you that isn’t an illness - what would you be cured of? The fact I'm fat. :^) Take it all away pls. Has anyone besides your family seen you naked? If so, who? My ex. Do you remember anyone’s number by heart? Literally nobody's. Not even my own. :x Name something you will never try in your lifetime. Hunting. What’s the best place you have ever eaten at? The Cheesecake Factory, omlllll. Are you at home right now? Yep. What’s worse: Crocs or Uggs? Crocs are so fucking ugly to me. Do you knock before you open doors? Always. Does Fred from YouTube annoy you? Now THIS is a throwback. I liked him as a kid. He'd probably annoy the shit out of me now. Anything exciting taking place today? No. Who have you texted today? My mother and Becky, the receptionist at my psychiatrist's office. I rescheduled my appointment to tomorrow with my mom being sick (she wants to talk to him, and she's in no shape to today) and me not feeling well, either. Do you like grapefruits? No. Have you ever had the Reese’s PB candy bars? Omfg, the ones that are a bar of smaller squares is my FAVORITE candy in the world. Where’s your mother? In bed. She was directed to mostly quarantine in her room away from me. Are there any pets you’re wishing for? Always. :( Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? I HATE raisins, so guess. Is your belly button pierced? No. Do you watch PewDiePie? Not anymore, no. His content changed a long time ago and doesn't interest me anymore. Do you like "Despacito?" Omg my sister showed it to me once and I hated it. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? uhhh *checks* I have 71. More than I expected, ha ha. What’s the first word that comes to your mind if I say: "Boop!" Booping a snake on the nose. :'3 Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? Nah. I enjoy watching YouTubers play it, and I like the franchise, it's just not my kind of game to actually play. Can you twerk? Oh god, never tried, don't want to. Do you like dabbing? It looks stupid to me. It looks like you're smelling your armpit, dude. Can money buy you happiness? You are 110% full of shit if you think it can't to some degree. I would be so, so much happier if I wasn't poor. Have you heard of Blizzard Entertainment? Well, considering they're the company that owns World of Warcraft, obviously.

[deeeelightfuldee]

What’s the earliest you could go to bed at night and feel okay about?

in my best dreams id love to go to bed at like 745/8. but my brain doesnt shut down like that, and i tend to be very productive at night. Maybe one day tho

What is you favorite type of lunch meat?

uhhhhh turkey

What time of the year do you dislike the most?

summer heat.

Do you put ketchup on your scrambled eggs?

ew no.

What is your favorite color to wear?

so I have historically worn a lot of darker colors but I’m trying to be intentional about making my life romantic and I need to introduce more color.

Are you an overachiever?

in most respects, yes

What physical feature do you wish you had (i.e. freckles, curly hair)?

smaller size, sharper jawline, thicker hair (not a LOT thicker, just mildly)

What fictional character (i.e. Bambi, Scarlette O'Hara) would you marry?

mr. darcy omfggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg.

Did you ever go through a phase where you wrote bad poetry?

no. never

What is your favorite thing about your life?

that no matter what, God has always provided and had a better plan

Have you ever painted a picture of somebody?

as a kid, all the time.

Did you enjoy your past relationships?

in most respects. each of them was good for a time.

Name a comedy that you like.

four christmases

Could you wait until marriage for sex?

that was the plan

What was the last thing that impressed you?

ummm that the plumber was able to get the roots out of the drain as easily as he did.

When was the last time you were in a pet store?

last summer. We were going to get benny a little bro/sis but with covid everyone was adopting animals like crazy out here.. so the ones they had were on these enormous wait lists where you would go thru an interview, a HOME INSPECTION, and had to bring all your other animals in to meet said rescue. it was ridiculous. 

What nationality is your last name?

dutch

What’s your favorite kind of chips and dip?

ems crack dip with uhhh the wavy lays

Who was the last boy that you saw cry?

uhh hm. hmmmmmmm... I honestly can’t recall

Does your mom know you do surveys?

I dunno, tbh

Have you ever had a serious injury?

I mean, somewhat. Not anything I discuss tho lol

What was the last thing you achieved?

surviving vid!

Would you enjoy being famous?

i doubt it. I’m pretty introverted and even though I get along very easily with people, my batteries charge best when im by myself or home. I would very much like the income though lol.

What’s under your bed?

I plan to go thru it soon! I’m trying to gather all my kile memories and I know I have like jewelry paperwork, cards from flowers, letters, etc. that need to be pulled. :(

Do you enjoy travelling?

Love it.

Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it?

absolutely. thats a long, long list. lots of academic, Christian, honors, volunteer, and youth group types.

When was the last time you drank strawberry milk?

oh geez, maybeeeeeee 15 years?

Have you ever managed to collect all the fast food toys in a set?

no. that was never my thing. 

Do you have a clock in your room?

No. My old cable box had the besttttttt time light. I miss having a small clock. I mentioned this to mom how we spent like forever looking for replacements after we changed cable providers. We didn’t want red or green, but the white. Now this makes me want to find one for my room. mom has a google device so shes set lol.

Did you have a good driver’s ED teacher?

I had the most phenomenal teacher. tho when it came to actual driving appointments (after the class periods) I often got paired with this older fella who constantly berated me over being homeschooled and telling me he was going to report me to the state. eventually I stood up to him, handed him the HSLDA contact card (home school legal defense association) and encouraged him to report me all he wanted. he stopped attacking me finally. it was awful. but the other gentleman was hilarious and fun.

Which of Britney Spears’ songs is your favorite?

ohhhhhh mer gersh i love so many of her songs. this answer would definitely change depending on the week but this week its a tie between gimme more and circus. 

Does mind over matter work for you?

in most respects

Are you paranoid?

i can be at times.

What is the best thing about winter?

OOOOOoo good gravy this is a long list. I love the calm. I love the way the air is thick and cold and how quiet it becomes. I love hearing the sound of snow falling. I love the glitter haze it leaves. I love the way it feels like the house wraps you up in a warm hug when you come in from the cold. I love the way candles and a fire in the fireplace make everything so cozy. I love the glow of twinkling lights, white and colored, just casting the most beautiful and dreamy cast on the neighborhood. I love the food and drinks that make you feel full and ready for a deep sleep. I love the clothes and the bundling up, the scarves, the hats, the mittens. I love the music and the way no matter where you go, there are carols playing the sweetest love songs. I love the way decorations come up and people display their much-loved memories in the form of ornaments on their trees. I love seeing the elaborate wrapping styles of packages around the tree and filling up the stockings. I love seeing the snowmen and igloo designs displayed with pride in the front yards around town. I love the way the world gets dark so early, yet.. there is light reflecting off the mounds of snow. I love the way the early night allows for early comfy flannel pajamas and thick wool socks and sleep. I love the curling up under a giant mound of blankets and reading a book. I love thinking about the joy on other’s faces when they open gifts that were cultivated for their happiness. I love the rereading of the beloved passages of scripture where we recall the reason for the season. I just love it all. 

Have you ever been truly in love?

yes. 2 times, how lucky I was. 

Are you currently planning a trip?

I was not. I probably could stand to be home for a bit. 

How many plants are in your home?

honestly, no clue at this point. I’ve been locked away coming up on a month. I dunno how many we have right now.

What is your favorite possession?

hmm. boy this is hard. It used to be my ring kile got me. I feel weird saying my favorite things are from him lately, so maybe my stained glass lamp. 

Have you ever felt like you were too nice and way too often overlooked?

I am a nice person majority of the time and I would say I have been overlooked from time to time but I definitely do not behave nicely in order to be noticed.

What movies have tripped you out?

eh, I’m not entirely sure. 

Did you rollerblade as a kid? Do you still rollerblade?

nope. I was so prone to breaking my ankles that it just absolutely was not for me. I tried a couple times, but couldn’t grasp the hang of it.

Would you ever settle into a relationship that wasn’t right for you? Do you know friends who are in relationships just so they have someone to sleep with at night?

no. this life is way too precious and too short to be spent laying next to someone who isn’t right for me. I have no intentions of settling. I do know of friends who have settled just to have someone near. It makes me so sad. The thought of settling like that just destroys me. Not to mention how unfair it is to the other person. Idk. Just sad sad sad.

Would you take a dirty picture of yourself for someone you are dating?

no nudity. 

Do you use earplugs or a sleeping mask when you sleep?

no. I would be way too distracted by that. I also don’t like things touching my face.

What summertime treats do you love?

ummm watermelon. popsicles.

How picky are you when it comes to choosing who to kiss or not kiss?

oooo boy im so ridiculously picky about it. In fact, one guy i was seeing for a few dates... i was like unsure of him and he wanted to kiss so bad and I just avoided it everytime lol.

What do you hate most about moving?

I’ve only done a temporary move. I don’t know that it’s the same. 

Do you feel that having sex anywhere but a bed is more exciting?

I think that I’d be down for it if I were married, but I think its most intimate when its in private lol

Do you drink 5 hour energy drinks or any other kinds of energy drinks?

Nope. It’s just not my thing. I’m never lacking that much energy.

Has anyone ever whistled at you?

yes. 

Do you like scarves?

love them. 

Is your father homophobic?

I’m not sure. I haven’t got a clue. 

Do you take gummy vitamins?

sometimes. its my preferred method

Have you ever applied make-up on a guy, for any reason at all?

not that I can recall. ohhhhhh maybe when i was in theater and we needed to put like color on their faces to ensure they wouldn’t be washed out by the harsh lighting.

Who would you like to meet before you die?

no one. those who want to meet me, should meet me lol

If your dream was to be a model, and a big opportunity came up, but you had to be nude, would you take it?

nah. 

What’s the most ridiculous conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of?

oh there have been so many. I just ignore them. I don’t see sense in letting my mind be corrupted by that 

If Heaven and Hell exists, where are you going when you die?

heaven!

Who is the person that you are afraid of losing, above everyone else?

mom!

What is one thing that pisses you off pretty much everyday?

the bathroom lol

Is there anyone you know that you feel should consider therapy?

everyone. everyone and anyone would benefit from therapy.

Do you like any of the songs on Twilight, or the actual movie/saga itself?

I’ve never seen it so I couldn’t tell ya.

How old was the first person you kissed?

at the time? I was 16 he was ...... 19 

Will you be a strict parent one day?

strict? no. I’ll have rules and such but I’m a very loving caregiver... not to be cocky

Last person to stand up for you?

I wish i could tell you. I’ve never been the kind that requires someone else to protect me like that. but man, it has to feel good to know someone else is willing to go to those lengths.

Have you been to a baby shower?

many times.

Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater?

My sister

What’s your favorite high school memory?

hmm, there are so many i loved.. probably the trips.

Do you like relationships, or do you prefer to be single?

i love being single, but miss the connection from a relationship

What is one adventurous thing you’d be willing to do?

hot air balloon.

What subject at school did you absolutely hate?

freakin math

Italian food or Chinese food?

Chinese. ugh, I’d kill for some if they had GF soy sauce options

Do you like to make flash cards when you study?

sometimes, it depends on what I’m using them for. often I’ll just write like Question Answer type patterns in my notebook and then use a coversheet. I hate losing notecards.

Has anyone ever told you that you’re a good singer?

yeah but I don’t sing like that anymore.

Do you ever watch TED talks, live or online?

I used to a lot,not anymore so much. 

I dare you to write the name of a person you strongly dislike.

no thank you

Biggest trouble you’ve ever gotten into at school?

none really on my behalf. one girl completely plagiarized my work and that led to some drama, but beyond that nothing.

Do you own one of those “professional” DSLR cameras?

no, I’m not that sort of wealthy.

Does it bother you when you see a 6th grader with a bunch of gadgets?

I mean, part of me thinks that its just kinda sad for the kid to not have simple pleasures instead of needing all the finest gadgets, 

Did you buy yearbooks every year in high school, or did you not bother?

n/a

Do you have Restless Legs Syndrome?

No

Jalapeños: yay or nay?

yay most of the time.

Did you ever play Minecraft?

uhhhh only when my nephews ask me to for like 5 mins lol

Did you ever have a Club Penguin account? Were you a member?

I didn’t.

Do you know anyone that seems to not have any common sense?

yes. some people just seem very... unaware.

What do you think is the biggest injustice that was ever done to you?

assault

What type of person angers you the most?

those who feel it is OK for them to assault another person in order to gain what they want or to release what they desire to release

If you could change your appearance, how would you alter it?

I’d want to be smaller. thicker hair. probably invisalign so I can correct my bite. 

Describe your first relationship?

he was ... fascinating to me. He allowed me to have my guard down. He made me laugh, he made me blush, but he made me feel like I was constantly safe. He was wounded from his previous marriage but he was.. so worth mending. However, we were long distance and he just wasn’t able to do that. He needed more than I was able to offer him at the time.

Describe your last relationship?

OK so relationship is such a widely defined word. I’m going to describe the last person I was personally committed to. He was my other half. He was pretty vain and conceited when I first got to know him. Constantly concerned with his work and nothing but his work. However, along the years he developed into the most kind, generous, patient, extremely loving man. He changed all sorts of his former ways. He began investing in his character and taking the time to better himself. It was so incredible to watch. We created a bond where he was my world. I thought I was his. but we ended over him having a relationship for years that I knew nothing about. it’s weird, this quote from jane eyre reminds me of him...

“I have a strange feeling with regard to you. As if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly knotted to a similar string in you. And if you were to leave I'm afraid that cord of communion would snap. And I have a notion that I'd take to bleeding inwardly. As for you, you'd forget me.”

Can you honestly say that you always practice safe sex?

I didn’t get the option to do so when it was happening. 

Why do you think your most favorite film touches you so deeply?

ps i love you just tears me to shreds over how effing painful it is to lose someone you love.

What do you want people you meet for the first time to think about you?

that I was kind and friendly, warm and inviting.

Do you feel protective over someone?

yes. my loved ones. my family members. my close friends.

What perfume/cologne do you wear?

ummm either very sexy night, or refuge.

What was the color of the bridesmaid dresses of the last wedding you went to?

a very deep, dark red/maroon. super lovely

What is your favorite way to eat chicken?

CHICKEN SANDWICH< preach

It is your birthday. You hope the cake is:

omg i crave regular birthday cake. gluten free cake so far has been quite disappointing. 

What were you doing at 8pm last night?

nothing.