#gimme that good good melodrama

[stephantom]

I am reading the play Becket now (of course I am) and it’s interesting how some lines are just slightly different. In the movie we have:

LOUIS: Why does he hate you so?

BECKET: He's never forgiven me for preferring God to him.

And in the play:

LOUIS: He really hates you, doesn’t he?

BECKET: (Simply) Sire, we loved each other and I think he cannot forgive me for preferring God to him.

They loved each other!! He also says that he’s been talking to Henry since he left him. Meaning what, imagined/one-sided conversations??

LOUIS: I shall try to persuade him to make his peace with you. Should he agree, will you be willing to talk with him?

BECKET: Sire, ever since we stopped seeing each other, I have never ceased to talk to him.

Also of note, canonical threesomes:

KING: […] Ten years spent together, little Saxon! At the hunt, at the whorehouse, at war; carousing all night long the two of us; in the same girl’s bed, sometimes… and at work in the Council Chamber’s room.

And this part at the end of their last meeting, on the beach. Becket asks for a kiss and Henry denies him because he’s too distraught?? (This comes almost immediately after Henry’s “whole body is shaken by a sob” and Becket, “moved”, tries to approach him but Henry tells him to stay away because he doesn’t want pity.)

BECKET: (Gravely) Farewell, my prince. Will you give me the kiss of peace?

KING: No! I can’t bear to come near you! I can’t bear to look at you! Later! Later! When it doesn’t hurt any more!

[lazyrezi]

Tj klune books ranked by me based on pure vibes, re-read potential, angst to humor ratio and MY OBJECTIVELY CORRECT OPINION:

Tales of Verania - LISTEN! LISTEN!!! These books are insane and I don't even know if I mean it in a good way tbh. The characters are all on crack. It's both corny (HAH if you know you know) and raunchy. YES the humour is a bit out there and sometimes the sex scenes/jokes are almost too much for my virgin eyes. Are these books "good"? You're asking the wrong question! They're fun and you WILL have fun reading them!!! It's very self-aware, tongue in cheek also sometimes a little too cheesy for my liking.

Oh, also, there are lesbian and emo dragons and magic and monologuing villains and a prophecy because OF COURSE THERE IS. These books will not change your life, but they will make you laugh and maybe cringe and feel. I am thinking about rereading it for the vibes. 10/10 would recommend BUT ONLY if you can get silly with it!!! No doom and gloom!!! (Okay, maybe a little doom and gloom....)

Green creek - ANGST. WEREWOLVES. GAY POSSESIVE WEREWOLVES. FOUND FAMILY

(weird age gap relationships I'm so sorry I hate it too and I hate how easy it would have been to just not do that but oh well)

MORE ANGST.

It's been a minute since I have read these books but oh boy they had me in a chokehold for MONTHS. Full disclaimer I have not read the last book AND STILL I am fully confident in recommending these books.

Ngl there is more weird shit in these books than I care to list. IT DOESN'T MATTER. If the tales of verania characters are on crack then these ones are living in a straight up soap opera. People leave. They hold grudges. THEY HAVE AMNESIA? They have enemies as well. Buildings blow up, people die ohymgod the melodrama never ends and. That is. SO FUN. albeit a different kind of fun but still. Fun times all around. I have finished reading these books and immediately reread them which should tell you everything you need to know. 10000/10

The extraordinaries - imagine you're watching a movie where a scene is coming up that just gives you THE WORST second hand embarrassment - now imagine it isn't a scene in a movie, it's three books and it's every page of all three books. Just sheer unadulterated second hand embarrassment.

Now if you look inside yourself you might find that your feelings are misplaced. The main guy isn't embarrassed and neither should you be! Life is all about falling on your ass and making an idiot out of yourself in the process and it's okay! It's okay. At least that's what I kept telling myself while reading these books.

No, but in all seriousness. These books are good fun. The greatest thing about tj klune is that he will take ANY theme and make it gay. We have gay superheroes. Gay werewolves. Gay magical beings. Gay ghosts! I as someone who regularly wonders why the media I am consuming isn't more gay, am a fan. I want him to do it all. Gay cowboys! Gay astronauts! GIMME IT.

These books I will not reread because I fear I might just die from the second hand embarrassment. It's so bad. But! It's also good! Educational fun. Wholesome love. Some minimal melodrama. 7/10

Oookay. Time for the stand alone books!

The house in the cerulean sea - okay don't hate me but this ain't my favourite. It's everyone else's tho! So I'm sure there is something to it. I think this is what you think of first when you hear tj klune - everyone knows this one, everyone loves it. It's like the popular kid in school. I, as a stubborn contrarian cannot abide this.

Still there is a lot going for this one. It takes you on a journey in a way a book should. And I personally love old gays being in big gay love so I can't complain.

But I will nonetheless.

So the thing about this book is that it's very innocent. And there isn't much angst just a minor misunderstanding that is pretty much quickly resolved. The big confrontation at the end is also quickly squashed by *checks notes* people talking to each other? I mean. It's nice! I would like it to work like that irl. In stories however.... I like a little more angst and anguish personally. There are also a lot of kid characters in this one which is FINE tj klune is actually pretty good at writing kids realistically (even special magical kids) but it's just not for me. I say that but I will be buying the sequel next month so jokes on me. The whole book was just a little too on the nose for my liking but it's still a very cosy read. Also someone pointed this out but WHY is this book so British? None of his other books are set in Britain and this one is set in a magical world so what's up with that?

Despite all my complaints I have reread this book twice. I don't know either. 8/10

In the lives of puppets - first tj klune book I have ever read and seeing as I have since then read everything written by this man I think you know this one is a good one. IT'S SO GOOD. It has everything!! Robots. Found family (families always find each other in tj klune stories). Asexual main guy. ROAD TRIP. Wholesome fun and existential crises for the price of one! 9/10 docked a point only because I don't think I'll be rereading it again. Also the romance was a bit weird BUT! It did grow on me. Like mould.

Under the whispering door - you would think this one would be an easy 10/10. Doomed love story (also gay 'cause of course it's gay), lessons about redeeming yourself, coffee shop and ghosts and and. Honestly it's been a minute since I've read this one. But what I remember is the ending.

Call me pessimistic but I don't think love should bring you back from the dead SORRY. IMMA SAY IT. Main guy should have stayed dead! Think like "the love was there, it didn't save anyone but it was there" vibes. Expect! Here it did save someone! Ridiculous concept! I buy ghost dogs but I WILL draw the line at being brought back from the dead. (The dog isn't brought back in case you're wondering). And it's such a shame because I really like the themes about death and redeeming yourself and it has such good potential! Unfortunately it suffers a serious case of not-working-for-me. Listen can I explain to you why this book didn't hit the same as the rest? Noo. All I know is that I read this book and immediately forgot about it. And unlike the house in the cerulean sea it looks like so did everyone else. Seriously tho. Anyone a big fan of this one? 6/10.

[neuroticbookworm]

Step by Step Episode 8 Ramblings

Episode 7 Ramblings, here

Put is not even gonna let Pat say his piece? 2 minutes in and I'm already burning mad

"I haven't taken you for granted like before"

"I know, you've been really good to me" Oh Pat, you pathalogical people pleaser

I continue being impressed by this show showcasing how adults do and should handle relationships and everything that comes with it. This must be one of the most realistic breakup scenes in BLs. And it is done without compromising the emotions of the characters. Hats off, really

Jane is wearing two layers of pink. Our resident Tumblr color demon @respectthepetty has taught us that pink = love, so good to know that his feelings has remained unchanged or even intensified from last when we saw him

My god, Khun Jeng looks so fineeeeeeeee

And he's wearing a dark blue shirt underneath his neutral brown jacket. While Pat is in a dark blue cardigan. Interesting

Ohhhhhhh wow Jane is pissed and Jaab is too. The cat fight between these two is gonna be hilarious

Put, you insufferable snake, ya dumped. Stop misrepresenting facts

Jeng, how the fuck did you know? Are you really THAT perceptive?

Oh man, that is the worst takeaway you can ever have from a failed relationship

*jaw dropped* Oh Jeng is going for the jugular. Oh he's done playing games, he wants to fight

Oooooooooof. Put, you manipulative bastard

Oh it's still not over. Oh they're still going, holy shit, this is intense

Is that a threat, about coming out? Seriously, what the fuck

I CAN'T WAIT to read all the body language analyses y'all are gonna write on that scene. Woah, that really was something

Ae and Beam are here!

Well, Ae looks like a goddess, as usual. What else is new?

I love this scene and the commentary that comes with it. Keep your noses out of pregnant people's business, for fuck's sake! How hard is it to have some basic decency?

I love that Tae is calling out how quickly Jeng's mood changes from brooding to giddy and vice versa in this conversation.

We have a new stuffie. The shark is out and the tiger is in. YES I SEE IT AND I LOVE IT

Oh I'm sooo ready for this non-date date. I want the sweet, sweet fluff to drown me. Gimme all the blushing, all the eye contact, all the accidental brushing of fingers, GIVE IT TO ME

OH MY GOD, he planned the whole thing. He had people move chairs out of the way for aesthetics. This complete bitch (affectionate)

GUYS, THE FLIRTING, I know I said I can handle it, but this is too adorable ^^

Jeng just hung up on his brother in a flash, not even waiting for him to respond? Oh that's cold

Oh shit, Pat is drunk, again, Here come the truth bombs

Damn, Man Trisanu is nailing this. He is acting his ass off to show how restless Jeng feels before every almost-confession

This slowburn is gonna kill us all, honestly

Oh we are dancing, oh it's so gloriously awkward, oh make it stop

Jaab, my beloved, I've missed your melodrama. You look like a divorced sugar baby who won half the riches in the settlement, I love it

Jeng tells Pat he can be just a safe space for him, while Pat is sobbing on his shoulder about his ex. All while Jeng has been trying the whole day to confess his own feelings for Pat. Every atom of this man is a green flag, I swear

These drunk disaster gays, I love them so much

Pat, sweetie, no. Please, you must be joking. Don't tell me you didn't know, DON'T TELL ME YOU ARE THAT OBLIVIOUS!

Okay, now Pat has to rethink each and every one of their interactions to see if he has ever misled Jeng, or if Jeng has ever crossed his boundaries. And then recalibrate his feelings with this new information. Yeah, this could take a while.

I'm leaning more and more towards the possibility of a second season, or even a special episode, after the show ends. Because there is no way they can fit all the domesticity these characters deserve within the next couple of episodes.

Ahhhh I can't believe the slowburn is still not over. I love it and I hate it and I'm pretty sure this show has turned me into a sadomasochist.

[ghostinthegallery]

G, H, O, S, T, I, E

Yay! Letters for the ask game are here

G- I write everything start to finish. I need to see how things build on each other for the story to come together (with rare exceptions if a scene is really clear in my head)

H- Style? Hmm, a dash of pulpy ridiculousness, a dash of melodrama, wrapped up in too many feelings. 🤣

O- Do I start with plot or characters? It's kind of a chicken and egg question for me. I feel like certain characters will create certain plots and certain plots are inevitable for certain characters

S- fandom tropes I can't resist? Good enemies to lovers and idiots in love will get me every time. And if there is porn gimme feelings I want those fuckers to have an emotional breakdown while they [REDACTED]

T- fandom tropes I can't stand- I tend to bounce if OOC stuff (unless it's really funny 🤣) and...kidfic is not my thing. I get why people love the little ones! It's just not my personal cuppa tea.

I- Guilty pleasures- dramatic rescues. And leaving readers with a mean cliffhanger (these two things may or may not intersect at times and I love when they do 😈)

E- Sequel to (apparently the AO3 wheel gave us Some Inconvenient Insight)- lmao, Makari runs into Orikan (don't ask me how), and starts giving him shit about his grod/soulmate. Somehow Makari escapes being vaporized and/or trapped in an infinite time loop, but of course Orikan has to go to Solemnace to find out what the heck Trazyn has been telling people about their relationship 😏

[straycalamities]

for your uhh edfgy oc memes

you can pick the oc/s but 🫴 gimme 4, 6, 10, 17

DONT MAKE ME PICK WThfowieugiu

well not entre because at this point ive answered almost all of those with him uhhh ill do andrew and ace because they're my special boys

4. When scared, does your OC fight, flee, freeze or fawn?

andrew: i think with him it very much depends on what the thing scaring him IS. if it's dangerous he's gonna flee. if it's scary because he can't understand it, he'd freeze if he's scared but someone he cares about is also under threat, he'd fight. that kinda thing

ace: he flees or fawns. every time. just depends. or like attempts to fawn, it doesnt work, so he flees. he's a wimp and a coward who only has his silver-tongue as a weapon, so. i think if it was really bad though, he'd freeze. because it's unlike him, he always has Something to react with. delicious

6. How easily could your OC be convinced to do something that goes against their moral compass?

andrew: it would be very hard. he's a Good Boy. something/one dear to him would have to be threatened because even if it was just him, he'd just take that bullet (or whatever it was) rather than do what they're trying to make him do though? if he has someone who he's wrapped around the finger of, it'd be a smidge easier. i mean julian had him ruining people's lives lowkey sometimes, but it was fine because he just didn't think about it and it made julian happy

so yeah it depends on WHO is trying to make him do it or just the situation in general but overall? id say its tough and requires specific requirements to be met, the most important being: if he does do this, it's not so black & white Bad. if it's black & white bad or good he's gonna dig his heels in the dirt harder

ace: just give him money. for real. he'll do almost anything for a certain price. otherwise, just threaten to kill him. he'll LITERALLY do anything then. he likes his life too much. however when he becomes close to andrew, all that becomes...less effective because he wants to do right BY andrew <3 or really anyone that managed to worm their way past all his walls and into his heart that's like..a generally good person

10. What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

skipping andrew obviously

for ace hmmm...really just anything that puts him against the wall. really pushes him without quite breaking him. sooo i guess any AU that brings a lot more danger into the equation. because in any AU that's chill or pleasant the interest comes from him being a fucking Clown (both because he can be funny and because his interpersonal issues make a lot of melodrama)

but i personally love seeing how many pieces i can break him into until he stops trying to put himself back together. i don't want him to reach that point because that's boring, but i like pushing it. like i made him so happy and his life so perfect literally so i could ruin it in his...well initial canon universe...

17. What is the worst thing you have put your OC through story-wise?

andrew: hmmm...julian i guess typically. but moreso because i haven't officially plotted the zombie apocalypse story aka his canon. so i might come up with even worse (better) things to put him through :)

for both: there was one time in an AU where i had a demon possess ace and basically was intentionally trying to ruin his life (namely his relationship with andrew) and that was awful for both of them <3 (this was prior to cult au and probably lowkey inspired it i think)

ace: CANONLY...well in the supernatural/horror story i don't fully know yet because i'm still plotting but in cult au...i think the whole thing is probably the worst thing i've put him through for Now. he hides it but he's absolutely miserable and going Through It at all times. losing his self, his agency, and worse is everyone loves that for him

[fangirlinglikeabus]

chapter 39 (a scheme of escape) notes!

“‘Then what do you mean to do, Huntingdon, when we’re gone?’ said Ralph Hattersley. ‘Do you mean to turn from the error of your ways, and be a good husband, a good father, and so forth; as I do, when I get shut of you and all these rollicking devils you call your friends? I think it’s time; and your wife is fifty times too good for you, you know—’

omg hattersley coming thru as a helen stan good for him

proclaiming it aloud, as he did, without delicacy or discrimination, in an audience where it seemed profanation to utter your name—himself utterly incapable of understanding or appreciating your real excellences.

real talk i’d way more prefer hattersley’s ignorant but well-meaning praise (especially intended as it is to knock some sense into huntingdon) to hargrave’s belief that helen’s some perfect divinity that Only He understands fully 

i’d also like to add that ultimately hattersley comes out looking better because hargrave’s professed care is really cover for the fact that he values huntingdon’s ‘permission’ to have his wife more than helen’s own previously and clearly expressed desires. also. huntingdon offered his wife up for sex to a group of his friends. what the fuck?

“You cannot mean that you will break your heart and die for the detestable conduct of an infamous villain like that!” “By no means: my heart is too thoroughly dried to be broken in a hurry, and I mean to live as long as I can.”

LMAO hargrave’s truly convinced he’s in some sordid misogynistic melodrama isn’t he...what can a heartbroken woman do but die, eh?

gimme a sec there's a good clarissa parallel here but it deserves its own post i think

man i just got hit with the realisation that helen’s basically my age in these sections…

“I’m sorry papa’s wicked,” said he mournfully, at length, “for I don’t want him to go to hell.” And so saying he burst into tears.

arthur </3

[wingardium-fic]

Getting to Know You Ask Game

Horribly late but here we go! Thanks @thegoodbutter and @burninghoneyatdusk for the tags

Favorite color

Purple for most of my life (a royal color 😌), but lately I've been gravitating more towards blues (especially a sky blue and saturated gray-blue) and greens (especially sage and mint)

Currently reading

"Noble Ambitions: The Fall and Rise of the English Country House" by Adrian Tinniswood and "The Netanyahus" by Joshua Cohen

Last song listened to

Real answer is "A Whole New World" from Aladdin (I've been on a musical kick lately), non-musical answer is "The Loneliest Time" by Carly Rae aka the queen.

Also been regressing back to my college freshmen self lately and obsessing over the "Infinity on High," "Folie à Deux," and "Melodrama" albums.

Last series watched

In order of recency: Wednesday (adored it), Derry Girls (cried like a baby over that finale), and The Crown season 5 (currently percolating a Substack series on why it sucks so much compared to 1-4)

Last movie watched

The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (no one @ me, it's comfort food to me)

Trying to do an Oscars-themed watch series before the awards, but I made the mistake of starting with Avatar, and I still haven't finished it lmao

Sweet/ Savory/ Spicy

All three! But I will say, I have a massive sweet tooth and a pretty good spice tolerance that I lord over my siblings

Currently working on

Writing motivation has been seriously lacking lately, but I'm hoping to finish my holiday, snowed-in Darklina fic soon.

On deck are my Darklina office Secret Santa textfic (which I considered reworking in a Valentine's Day "Secret Valentine" fic but probably won't have time for), part 2 of my Daemyra Edwardian AU, and (hopefully) chapter 6 of my Darklina Twilight AU.

Tagging: @dogberrie gimme all ur answers 🔪

[serethereal]

oh.. oh hi maybe 🍓 perhaps 🥺🥺

hi hi hello !!! ofc thank u *places strawberry on my little pile* ok sooo obvi but i fucking love melodrama !!! literally saur good smthn ab exes to lovers is just so. delicious to me and then w the way you wrote Them in that like…you’re insane but… *gimme gimme more by britney spears starts playing in the distance*

[finleycannotdraw]

Hi there! I noticed you reblogged those ask games for all the tad albums, and I don't remember what question this is but what lyrics would you say just SEND you from each of the albums?

AAAAY HELLO

okay so. this is probably going to be at least one lyric from every song

love run lyrics that send me™️:

“all hell and its fire waits for us” “my entire life it’s running away too fast, watching everyone you’ve ever loved walk past, never really quite getting the knack of knowing that no one will ever come back for you” “for christs sake just say something” “it cannot be a lie if no one hears” “I’m stronger now than you have ever known” “can’t you see that I’m enough for you but you don’t want me to be cause that means you’ll actually have to be content” “it starts off like a pinprick, a trick of the light, oil slick” “I cannot find the words to keep you” “we showed the world that we exist, didn’t really like the pattern that much on the wallpaper so anyway” “if I’m good will you come back” “where is god ma where’s the vodka if my old mum could see me now oh how she’d how she’d hold my hand as you shook in the middle of the night” “let the world come at you love with all its sand and sin a-singing, the song you once knew well’s begun, run until your lungs are numb, let the earth a-tumble love and humble you withal keep running” “let foul men band and heed your hum for that ancient hymn you heard me strumming is naught but fumble falls and tumbleweeds love run it’s not that rum would solve though some would harm you none not one no none would raise to you a hand nor thumb not while by you I stand and hum love run” “it’s not from what we run that drums but what’s to come, love what’s love what’s love what’s to come”

the horror and the wild:

“I pray to god it’s the kindest thing to never leave you alone” “gimme back my heart you wingless thing” “witness me old man I am the wild” “that I might understand as best I can how bold I was could be will be still am by god still am, fret not dear heart let not them hear the mutterings of all your fears the flutterings of all your wings” “flirt (wasn’t flirting) at the back of a bookshop” “hold me lover like you used to so tight I’d bruise you” “I know you’re strong enough to do this on your own” “he’s down he’s dead he’s gone oh he’s lost he’s flown he’s fled now take a good long look at what you’ve all done to me” “I’m old waylaid and feels like I am wading into carpet burns and carousels christ you’ll be the death of me and calm throughout his melodrama she will turn and say dear heart it’s me it’s me you don’t need to pretend to be someone you’re not” “you you touch my skin peels off like paint” “as the belt from your buckle is tightening I make shipwrecks out of my dress” “and I get in and for some reason you’ve painted the kitchen lime green and I sink to the floor what’s the point anymore and you you reply with a glint in your eye singing I don’t know but I’m hear oh dear god dear heart don’t cry” “now even though you’re mad and these memories won’t stay that’s okay cause now I get to meet you for the first time every single day” “look at me as you say this (you’re home) don’t look at your phone (for gods sake I’m)” “I feel hunger at last for that person fifteen year old me would be proud to have known” “these lines aren’t wrinkles dear heart they’re just dollops of paint on a new work of art”

ruin (literally every single lyric okay)

“look into those secret worlds you call eyes” “when I think I’m fine you’ll visit and then you happen to me all over again” “the rain kept coming down I’ll watch that woman drown” “I don’t find this easy like you” “gonna go home and show my cat some memes cause he’s awesome like me” “if god made us all in his image then god’s a fucking nerd” “I might not make it tonight” THE ENTIRETY OF CHORDS but specifically “they are my rascals I can’t let them walk away/we built our castles just to watch them wash away” “walk into your dawn you snotrags tell em we never cared go tell them how we fucked you up and oh my god it’s so unfair we were the winter nights so you could be the morning snow cause life begins by leaving and our love is shown in the letting go” “be good be safe be kind know we’ll always love you even though you’re leaving us behind” “you are in the earth of me” “I’m lifting my class to that last good man grace who has left me he’s left me at last” “let’s bury this I’m all yours but you’re all mine let’s dance together you and I cause I’m not trapped with you you see you’re the one who’s trapped with me” “don’t you think I look pretty curled up on this bathroom floor” “we’ll dance together so close we’re sharing breath but now I’m leading doesn’t that just scare you to death” “I will bring you ruin” “nothing quite prepared me for when that piano sang again” “tomorrow I’ll do things different tomorrow I’ll be brave” “if I don’t make it back from where I’ve gone just know I loved you all along”

TL;DR I am in love with literally every single song by this band.

[shadowsong26fic]

Okay, I know this is technically not Writing, but my brain said this was the correct place to put it anyway??? So here we are.

Anyway, years ago, when I was active in BSG fandom (the first time, I seem to have been sucked in again help), I put together a Baltar/Six fanmix (do we still call them fanmixes? lol i feel old) And, y’know, I’m still mostly pretty satisfied with it? There’s one song I would take off (but I’m not sure what I’d replace it with--it was meant to stand for that ‘there’s too much baggage/too much has happened and we’re not going to find our way back to each other this time’ phase in their relationship, and finding songs that hit that note is Difficult), but otherwise, yeah.

...that being said, I’m putting together a new one because Of Course I Am and just. A few tidbits from the liner notes in my head that I haven’t written down yet (if you can guess the songs, you get, idk, brownie points? lol):

- “I was listening to this and it kind of had the right Vibe, and then I got to the second verse. Stopped. Went back to the beginning. Listened again. And I was like ‘...well, shit, I’m gonna have to make a whole new mix just to include this one song.’“

- “I know I included this on the other mix (and also on my S3 mix in connection to a completely different character/situation) but come on, it’s a gimme. Also I picked a different version so there.”

- “This is basically that ‘the things men do for love’ flashback scene in Daybreak in song form.”

- “The thing about these two, one of the things I love about them, is that a good chunk of their relationship has sort of two primary modes: intense tragic melodrama, and painfully awkward sincerity (yes, there’s more to it than that, believe me, I know, but still). And honestly there isn’t a band--or song--that hits both of those notes at once quite like this one. Also the lyrics fit too well for me to leave it off don’t at me.”

[ianpriceisnotright]

it’s time the kid got free - an ian price playlist for his past, present, and future

i. when she looks at me and laughs, i remind her of the facts. i'm the king of rock 'n' roll completely... hot dog, jumping frog, albuquerque! // like it's gold, you're a prophet. someone's gonna profit. // pawn on every chess board, used 'til they get bored. smile when they yell, 'checkmate.'  // i'm supposed to be happy and free. everyone is talking to me. most of the nights, i lay on my phone, watching the world... nobody knows the sadness i hold. nobody sees what's about to unfold. // i been thinking about you and i wanna go do something nice. i can't take rejection and that's why i pay the crazy price. if you ain't ecstatic i feel like i blew it big time. i'm a little manic, i just wanna see your big smile. nothing means more to me than when i hear that you're proud of me. // i'm wasted, losing time. i'm a foolish, fragile spine. i want all that is not mine. i want him, but we're not right. // i should've stayed at home, 'cause right now i see all these people that love me but i still feel alone. // i had a dream i got everything i wanted. not what you'd think, and if i'm being honest, it might've been a nightmare. // if it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?  // somewhere i lost some of my innocence, and i miss it. stay up all night thinking it's twisted, my life's been survival of the fittest, but i did it. // they tell me i've got something more, and oh you could be loved. but i don't want the lights to find me when i'm dark and lost but never on my own... they said you'll never be alone again, but i don't think you understand me or what i fear... i wonder how it feels to burn out young. // this is everything i wanna say, but can't say yet. and everything i wanna change, but can't change. // they said, don't meet your heroes, they're all fucking weirdos, and god knows that they were right. because nobody loves you, they just try to fuck you, then put you on a feature on the b-side. and who do you call when it's late at night, when the headlines just don't paint the picture right? when you look at yourself on a screen and say, "oh my god, there's no way that's me..." i remember this girl with pink hair in detroit, she said, "you gotta promise us that you won't die 'cause we need you" and honestly i think that she lied. // who put the world on my back and not in my hands? just give me a chance... think i'm reaching my limit. can i exhale for a minute? // i hold you so proudly. traumas, they surround me. i wish you'd just love me back. // i think the kids are in trouble. i do not know what all the troubles are for. give them ice for their fevers. you're the only thing i ever want anymore. live on coffee and flowers and try not to wonder what the weather will be. // i found love in a place i thought was hopeless, now i'm glad i stayed... but i still say i don't wanna be here. i don't wanna be here, i don't wanna be here, take me away. // i'm a pretty boy livin' on the west side, livin' so loud, you could never hear me cry... no more fears and no more lies, i tell myself to sleep at night, amongst these hills, baby. // god, i wonder why we bother. all the glamour, and the trauma, and the fucking melodrama. 

ii.  i can fake a smile, i can force a laugh. i can dance and play the part if that's what you ask... but i'm only human, and i crash and i break down. your words in my head, knives in my heart. you build me up and then i fall apart. // i thought if i was older, i'd have less on my shoulders. i can't tell if i'm sad or bored. most nights i am not sober. l.a.'s making me colder. i've got voices i can't ignore... took my patience for weakness. i wish i would have had the choice. // rip me open, you'll see you're not the only one who's hopeless... don't let me let you down. hey, baby i'm not your superhuman, and if that's what you want, i hate to let you down... it's such a long and awful lonely fall down from this pedestal that you keep putting me on. // and just like a tale my dream was a scam. you waited smiling for this? i am burnt out... oh maybe i'll talk about it. i'll never talk about it. // i'm like a paper cup with a pin prick. you can fill me up but i'll only stay full for a while... you say you understand me well i don't get you at all. it seems everyone around me is so good at faking it that i don't know just how to act around you. // i'm afraid that i've gone vacant, and i don't have time for your equations... when you push me like hell, that's when i start to despise myself. // honestly, what will become of me? don't like reality, it's way too clear to me... we are what we don't see. we miss everything daydreaming. // i was in but i want out. my mother's love is choking me. i'm sick of words that hang above my head. what about the kid? it's time the kid got free... i'm sitting pretty on the throne. there's nothing more i want, except to be alone. 

iii. you peaked. sorry to kick deep, but heard your story before it's not unique... why can't you just play your part? you were supposed to be somebody. you were supposed to make more money. // these are the reasons i drink. the reasons i tell everybody i'm fine even though i am not. these are the reasons i overdo it... to make up for these habits, to survive this sick industry. // why do i waste so much time on things that i can't fix? all these things i hold inside i just can't forget. thought that i could let this go, but i ain't know that it would be like this... baby, i'm impossible to be with. // said my spirit doesn't move like it did before. said that i don't look like me no more. i said i'm just tired, she said you're just high... oh, i make you cringe now. don't i make you cringe? // you're so shook when i look right past you, so surprised you don't get an answer... ain't it weird to feel small 'n stuff? oh, come on, just say something. no, go ahead, tell me, what do i need? // these people don't heal, these people don't feel. these people aren't real so make me this deal. won't you gimme love when i'm gone? // all these voices in my head get loud. i wish that i could shut them out. i'm sorry that i let you down. yeah, i guess i'm a disappointment... paranoia, what did i do wrong this time? that's parents for you. very loyal? shoulda had my back, but you put a knife in it, my hands are full. what else should i carry for you? // i would rather rot alone then spend a minute with you. i'm gone, i'm gone. and you can't stop me from falling apart, 'cause my self-destruction is all your fault... doesn't matter what i do, nothing's gonna change. i'm never good enough... how could you, how could you, how could you love me? when all you ever gave me were open wounds? // oh and i tried to start caring like you and like them when you said that i was killing myself. i healed everything but my shame. // and at once, i knew i was not magnificent. 

iv. and they tell you that you're lucky, but you're so confused, 'cause you don't feel pretty, you just feel used... and they still tell the legend of how you disappeared. how you took the money and your dignity, and got the hell out. // i know that i'm stuck in this misery. guess i'm not enough like you used to think, so i'll just run. // out on my own, kicked out of the show. i'll take what's mine and i'll go. // you've got a second chance, you could escape it all... you could still be what you want to. // i'm a goner. somebody catch my breath. i wanna be known by you. // i had a hole in the middle where the lightning went through it. told my friends not to worry... didn't want to be your ghost. didn't want to be anyone's ghost. // some say love is a burning thing that it makes a fiery ring. but i know love as a fading thing, just as fickle as a feather in a stream... i will not open myself up this way again. // you can't take back what you've taken away, 'cause i feel you. i feel you near me. // have you forgotten what you have and what is yours...? there's so much more, you can reclaim your crown. you're in control. rid of the monsters inside your head, put all your faults to bed. you can be king again. // somebody said you disappeared in a crowd. i didn't understand then, i don't understand now... i was solid gold, i was in the fight. i was coming back from what seemed like a ruin... now i only think about los angeles when the sun kicks out. // first night of your life curled up on your own. looking at you now, you would never know. // i do believe it's true, that there are roads left in both of our shoes. // shout out to the old me and everything he showed me. glad you didn't listen when the world was trying to slow me... had to fuck it up before i really got to know me. // what if who i hoped to be was always me? and the love i fought to feel was always free? what if all the things i've done were just attempts at earning love? 'cause the hole inside my heart is stupid deep. 

[killian-whump]

I got tagged by @quirkykayleetam to do this Either/Or thing :)

Now, before I start... Some of these I genuinely don’t have a preference for, because to some extent an injury’s an injury and it’s more about how well the actor portrays pain and the overall scenario. A good example is Killian’s mis-adventures in S5b. I mean, OUAT was just like, “He’s very, very injured” without ever giving us specific injuries (aside from a busted up eye), but it’s one of my favorites anyway, because (1) Colin (2) it looked good (3) the actor sold it beautifully (4) Colin. So... Clearly the actual nature of the injuries matters less to me than the quality of the actor’s pain faces XD Anyway, long story short (too late), I’m leaving some of them blank. Explanations after, to make it easier for folks to copy/paste the meme if they wanna do it too :)

Broken ankle or broken wrist// Bruised ribs or a concussion// CPR or the heimlich// falling off a cliff or almost drowning// shot or stabbed// broken nose or broken fingers// physical pain or emotional// sickness or injuries// romantic caretakers or platonic// appendicitis or pneumonia// car accident or building collapse// sprained ankle from hiking or tortured by a whumper// collapsing from exhaustion or collapsing from diabetes// heart problems or ruptured spleen // broken collarbone or broken knee// crutches or sling// wheelchair or cane// tonsillectomy or appendectomy// broken bones or dislocated limbs

Broken Ankle over Broken Wrist: I’m gonna have to go with @quirkykayleetam‘s reasoning on this one - broken ankle makes it harder for them to get away :D

CPR over Heimlich: I mean, hocking up a chunk of food and spitting it across the room is kinda gross, really. Sorta takes away from that sexy near-death action vibe for me XD

Falling Off a Cliff over Almost Drowning: This is a tough one, because near-drownings come with all that potentially handsome wetness and maybe some mouth-to-mouth... but cliff-tumbles generally involve residual injuries and survival scenarios. I love me some survival stories. Whumpee out in the woods/mountains alone, scared, injured... wild animals about... a wolf howling at the moon somewhere... thirst and hunger... will anyone realize they’re missing? Will someone find them? Will they die out here all alone? Is that wolf getting closer?!?!? And good shows/movies always leave their rescue for when they’re on death’s door and it’s super dramatic. YES.

Stabbed over Shot: It just feels more intimate to me.

Broken Fingers over Broken Nose: Eh, broken noses can ruin the handsome sometimes. Also, broken fingers add to the helplessness.

Physical Pain over Emotional: GIMME YER PAIN FACES, BOYS D:

Injuries over Sickness: DID I STUTTER?!?! GIMME THEM D:

Romantic Caretakers over Platonic: Sweet, sweet melodrama. It just adds a level to the hurt/comfort that scratches all my itches.

Appendicitis over Pneumonia: Again with the pain faces...

Building Collapse over Car Accident: I hate car accidents in fiction, generally speaking. They’re too... real. Too common. Too unpredictable. Like, they could literally happen to you ANY time you’re in a car - and that’s a disturbing thought for me. Give me serial killers and bombings and wicked witches on the rampage any day over something so... real and personally threatening.

Tortured by a Whumper over Sprained Ankle Anything: Like, literally. Anything. Ever. Just. Gimme all the psychotic whumper torturers. I want them all. In a room. Arguing over what to do next while the whumpee cries in the corner, wondering why all the gods have forsaken him D:

Wheelchair over Cane: I like wheelchairs. You just... put a whumpee in one and there you go, mobile whumpee! Have wheelchair, will travel. They don’t even need to be conscious. Or sane. Or capable of any movement. Truss that sucker up, strap him in a wheelchair... take him to the movies or some shit. Whatever you wanna do, really. He’s your whumpee. On wheels.

Dislocated Limbs over Broken Bones: Only because too often Hollywood’s like “Look at this broken limb poking out of their flesh to say hi!” and that’s gross. Also, I like the pain involved in field first aid when the caretakers have to pop the limb back into place. Like, I have no idea how that’s done, but as far as I can tell the procedure is comprised of: 1. Pain. 2. More pain. 3. “Bite down on this!” 4. Still more pain. 5. Screaming. 6. A loud popping sound that disturbs everyone present. 7. Maybe the passing out of the whumpee. 8. Profit. (Despite the obvious medical accuracy of my description, please don’t try this procedure at home.)

[waitineedaname]

If ur taking writing prompts, you should write some amnesty trio platonic found family fluff

I didn’t proofread this at ALL because I wanted to post it Immediately bc I enjoyed it so much. Thank you for sending this in!!

“Well,” Duck said from his position on the forest floor, “That sucked.”

“You can say that again.” Ned groaned, patting himself down gingerly for bruises.

“Okay. That sucked.” Duck said again, still not getting up.

“Duck Newton,” Beacon drawled from where it was held loosely in his hand, “What kind of a warrior are you if you cannot take a little beating? Someday, you’ll-”

“Beacon, shut up.” Aubrey’s head appeared in Duck’s line of sight, looking a little worse for wear herself. “Duck, you need a hand?”

“Please.” He grabbed her hand and used her as a bit of leverage to pull himself up. A wave of dizziness swept over him, a reminder of the very solid tree he’d hit his head on. He must have visibly swayed because Aubrey put her hands out to catch him.

“Whoa now! You okay?”

“Yeah just- just gimme a second.” He said, squeezing his eyes shut. He could practically hear Aubrey frown next to him.

“Ned, you know where Duck lives, right? Mind driving him home?”

“No, really, I’m fine-”

“No, you look like shit, my friend.” Ned announced, already unlocking the back of his treasured car. “Concussions are no joke, trust me.”

“We should probably stay with you and make sure you don’t, like, pass out and die.” Aubrey added. Duck looked at them, the two most stubborn people he knew, and sighed. He was too worn out to put up a fight.

“Alright. Don’t go blamin’ me if my cat scratches you, though. She doesn’t like visitors.”

Aubrey grinned in that way that made it impossible to be mad at her and quickly ushered him to the passenger side of the car. He must have zoned out somewhere between putting on his seatbelt and pulling into his apartment complex because it seemed to take no time at all. That probably wasn’t a good sign. Maybe it was a good thing they were sticking with him.

He unlocked the door with only mild fumbling and flicked the light on. “Fig, I’m home.” A soft “mrow?” answered him and a fluffy tortoiseshell appeared from under the dining table, freezing as soon as she saw the two guests.

“Kitty!” Aubrey gasped, immediately dropping onto her knees to get closer to the cat.

“Now, watch out, she doesn’t like new- Huh.” Fig was already rubbing all over Aubrey, covering her dark jeans in fur. Aubrey was absolutely delighted.

“Is her name really Fig? Like Fig Newton?” Aubrey scooped the cat up in her arms before Duck could tell her not to, but Fig just purred happily.

“Uh- Yeah, my sister named her. She doesn’t even let me hold her, how’re you…?”

“I’m an animal whisperer.” Aubrey said very seriously.

“Right. Is that one of your magic powers?” Duck asked, lips quirking in a smile.

“Mhm. I’m very powerful.” She nodded, but she was definitely holding back a laugh of her own. Duck snorted softly and walked further inside, dropping his keys on the table.

“Alright, well, welcome to my apartment. Y’all make yourselves at home, sit wherever. Hope you don’t mind if I get changed?” He asked, gesturing to his uniform, then to the bedroom.

“It’s your house. We’re not here to judge.” Ned shrugged, already strolling over to the couch.

“Just don’t fall asleep! And grab some ibuprofen while you’re in there.” Aubrey added.

Duck reemerged a few minutes later in sweatpants and a t-shirt, carrying the bottle of ibuprofen, to find Ned on the couch cautiously trying to pet Fig and Aubrey poking around in the kitchen.

“Is it cool if I make some tea? You’ve got beer, but it’s like 4am and you’re probably concussed so… I dunno if alcohol’s the greatest idea.”

“Yeah, go ahead.” Duck sat down on one of the extra chairs and sighed as if it had been some great exertion. Ned looked at him with amusement.

“You know, it’s been a while since I’ve seen your place. It has not really changed much.”

“Yeah, well, you know me.” Duck gave him a wan smile. “Not really much of an interior decorator.” Ned laughed, and Aubrey joined them with three carefully balanced mugs of tea.

“Your only decaf stuff was raspberry zinger, hope that’s okay.”

“That’s perfectly alright, thank you Aubrey.” Duck said, taking one of the mugs and answering her bright smile with a tired one. He took a few ibuprofen and washed it down with swig of his tea, wincing when it burnt his tongue. He started to tip his head back, drowsiness overtaking him, but Aubrey’s boot connected with his shin before he could.

“Don’t go to sleep yet. I dunno all the concussion rules, but I’m pretty sure you can’t go to sleep immediately afterwards.”

“I’m forty-five, you don’t have to mother me.” He said, as close to petulant as he could get.

“We might not be your mother, Duck, but we’re your friends.” Ned shrugged. “We’ve gotta look out for you sometimes.”

“Yeah! I mean, I know you’re hard to kill ‘n all that, but we’d be pretty shitty friends if we let a concussion be the thing that takes you out.” Aubrey said, untying her shoes and tucking socked feet underneath her.

Duck stared at the two of them for a moment. It wasn’t that he didn’t have many friends - he had plenty, he was on friendly terms with most of Kepler - but it had been a while since he’d had someone looking out for him like this. The three of them were as unlikely of a group as it gets, but he had to admit, it was nice having them around.

“Alright.” He gave in and smiled at them. “Y’all’re gonna have to keep me awake, though.”

Aubrey dove right in to a conversation, chatting about whatever it was that she could think of and kicking him gently whenever he looked like he was about to drift off. Ned carried most of the conversation with her, but it was clear the exhaustion was getting to him. He was the first to fall asleep on the couch, snoring softly with his empty mug in his hands. Aubrey didn’t last much longer than he did, trailing off in the middle of her sentences and shaking herself awake to keep talking until she just couldn’t anymore. And then Duck was the only one still awake, leeching the last bits of warmth out of his mug. He watched his friends with a soft smile - Ned snoring, and Aubrey’s cheek squished against the side of the couch - friends that were practically family at this point.

He couldn’t ask for a better team.

Slouched in his chair, Duck fell asleep too.

At 7:00am sharp, his watch went off, startling both him and Aubrey awake.

“Wh- What’s happenin’?” Aubrey jolted upright, the indent of the couch still on her cheek.

“Nothing. Just the alarm to take my hormones, go back to sleep.” He hushed her, silencing his watch and getting up. She nodded sleepily and looked like she was about to fall asleep again, then jolted upright.

“Shit, my meds! They’re back at the Lodge.” She immediately started shaking Ned awake, much to his displeasure. “Ned, you gotta drive me back to the Lodge!”

“Now?” He groaned.

“Please? I’ll get Barclay to make those muffins you like as payment! Please, please, please, if I don’t take my ADHD meds I’ll die.”

Duck snorted softly at her melodrama and waved at the two of them as Ned reluctantly pulled himself upright. “Y’all give Barclay the rundown of last night. I’ll swing by after work.”

“Yeah, see you there! Don’t get any more head injuries without us, got it?” Aubrey gave him what was probably supposed to be an intimidating look, but it only made him laugh.

“You got it. Go get your meds.” He gave them a half salute as Aubrey pushed Ned outside, and then the door was shut. Duck walked to the bathroom as silence fell over his apartment, and realized he could probably get used to a little more noise in the house.

[prinzessinglitzerfee]

Hello darling, for the ask thingy, please gimme 4, 17, 24, 31, 51, 56, 98, and 99

Hello my love! Here ya goooo:

4. If you could change your name, would you? And what would you change it to?

I don’t think I would? I’m pretty happy with it and I don’t have any better ideas lol. Although my fake name for when creepy men talk to me is Sophie!

17. Are you more of a sunrise or sunset watcher?

Probably more of a sunset watcher since I’m more likely to be awake then. I do like a good sunrise tho!

24. Name a song that puts you in your feels.

Sober II (Melodrama) - Lorde

31. Name a fictional character you’ve had a crush on.

Kim Possible. I was completely obsessed and yeah, I’d still date her.

51. What is a bizarre fear you have?

I’m not sure what classifies as bizarre but I have this irrational fear that whenever someone is upset it’s my fault? Like even when it clearly isn’t related to me, I always think I’m the reason that someone is upset and that I did something wrong.

56. Do you miss anyone at the moment?

Yeah many people actually! You obvi, also @martiinorametta, and just a bunch of good friends I haven’t seen a while.

98. What’s one of your biggest accomplishments?

Uhm probably still being alive? Lmao. Not only cause I never thought I would get this far but also cause I did a bunch of stuff where I’m still amazed that I somehow survived it.

99. What is something you’re currently looking forward to?

Being done with a bunch of exams!! Also holidays and seeing you :)

[elizabethrobertajones]

13x21 watching notes

Not. Enough. Hugs.

Expectations: Bobo is gonna write his last episode which will make every other writer heading to the door trying to churn out some swan song fare thee well nonsense taste like ash.

I will probably cry because this mofo makes me cry all the time and I hate it because I never cry at Supernatural and the last couple of years Bobo has me leaking everywhere

-

Recap!

Lucifer saying they'll find Jack and remake the world in his image. Gross. No thanks.

Sam and Rowena bonding over seeing Lucifer's true face and it being awful

Gabriel complaining they took all his grace

Michael, Mary and Jack's adventures

Gabriel and Rowena being the most powerful allies. What a world. Like 10 episodes ago it wasn't even like this at all :P

A last glimpse of Sam's stupid parting shot about them dying together. Whee. Sarcasm font.

-

Um.

Okay so this is either a dream or the future (yes.) or my next fic, and I'm only 1 second in, but all I know is that Jack, dressed all in white because he's Jesus, is watching Dean eat his 7th bit of pizza with pure horror, while Cas lovingly, smilingly, chides him for it.

Oh yeah there's Mary, laughing in the background. And she's wearing a different but still white and blue (Mother Mary) plaid.

This dialogue is literally bunker fluff banter about Jack counting Dean eating his pizza slices and Dean calling him a narc for saying so.

"John and me, we used to call him our little piglet" I am so happy. Pre-tragedy Winchester family fluff. My heart.

Sam offering to help Mary do the dishes

Dean getting Cas to punt him another pizza once Mom is no longer watching. Dear lord. The silent "gimme pizza" moment of our dreams.

Sam checking in on Mary!! How are you since... Being over there

Sam's wearing the same shirt from the end of 12x22

"I always knew you and Dean would come and save us. And you did."

-

Yep that was Sam's dream, which of all the available options was the absolute worst because he's the one who wasn't talking at the table, but has been missing a family the most, missing out on Mary, missing out on having Cas and Jack around, having Dean being normal. Wanting the relationship with Mary, and all the fun nuggets like "my little piglet" which makes her tease Dean and make Sam laugh... Oh god my heart. I'm a minute in and I can't take it.

-

And Mary starting to act like an alarm clock, Sam Sam Sam Sam, to wake him up. Oh no. Oh noooo it's awful. The alarm clock corrupted her in the dream: his image of her is so dependant on what's around him, so easy for her to be snatched away, when he thinks he's having a good moment with her at long freaking last

-

Last season I staked my entire house on the Sam and Mary dynamic being key and it felt like very few others cared, certainly not in the wider fandom, and along with that there was a whole lot of not understanding either of them. I'm so glad that Sam and Mary's dynamic has been more centrally placed this season and signposted because I'm so fed up that I spent all that energy on it last season and ended up feeling like I was shouting into a void :P

-

"He needed to extract his grace *finger quotes* in private" *Sam looks up like uuuuuh* "So I left him alone in Dean's room" *Dean looks up like EXCUSE ME DEAR DID YOU JUST SAY -

"What? No!"

Sam smirks, Dean looks pleadingly at Cas.

I was just joking in 13x20 about how Dean n Gabriel have a weird vibe about them, but I think at this point Dean is just thinking you left the skankiest archangel alone in my room???

I don't think there's a subtextual whatnow between them about this, he just doesn't want to know what angel grace looks like under a blacklight

-

Awww Rowena is wearing orange... With a turtleneck.....

#Samwitch forever #Jinkies!

-

making jokes about Gabriel's essence last episode and now the left him alone in the room to do it, and showing off Zerbe's merch and they're all just peering at that lil dot of glowiness... Gabriel is getting a lot of impotency jokes here.

-

"That is the jet fuel of divine emissions!"

*Dean pulls another face re: emissions*

-

Jesus CHRIST the rift is literally SAGGING FLACCIDLY

Bobo I hate you

-

of the 5 of them, Rowena's face remains, as ever, a total gem.

-

holy shit and then Gabriel lowers his blade as well

who DIRECTED THIS SHIT?

-

They all sigh and Gabriel lets his blade flop entirely to his side

-

Rowena looks completely unimpressed.

-

"Well that was fast" "One could say premature." "I thought it would be enough!"

Jesus christ what is happening in the latter part of the episode that we're getting this scene now?

-

Oh my god that was just the COLD OPEN

-

As always though, Cas being the one who has to say the really horrible thing, like, they will all just wait for him to proclaim the bad news. Maybe he just likes people to say things out loud even when they're obvious *clears throat* but also he always has that streak where he will suggest the awful plan and be first to realise some horrible path that they must take.

-

TFW retires to the kitchen to talk. Sam sits on the steps, now the exile, while Cas leans on the family dinner table. It's the place he goes in his head which has the best service. The connection to his family. Dean leans as well, Cas and Dean mirroring each other, providing more of a united front, as the two of them have the emotional headspace to root for this plan, however Sam feels, while Sam is caught by his trauma, isolated, hunched up and small on the floor, less of their party.

-

Every time it ends the same way - with the Devil on the loose again.

Hey at least this time he's already on the loose so even the worst case is that nothing changes :P

-

Well no the worst case is that he somehow possesses Rowena and takes the most powerful witch ever for a joyride.

Actually no he's locked in his vessel

-

the worst case scenario is they kill him before they get the grace, so they have to wait for Gabriel to charge up and *oh no* Lucifer is dead

-

God, Cas saying "the worst possible violation" re: being possessed by Lucifer is so ridiculously validating. He understands what Sam went through and he's showing he understands, feels the same way. The two of them have this connection of knowing what it's like, and Sam hears from Rowena that she knows what it's like to be tortured by him, hears from Cas what it's like to be possessed by him... His support group is here

-

I still love the camera angle of Cas standing in front of Dean and Dean behind him and the camera is flattening them together.

After the directing on the soggy rift, and Mittens telling me Phil is responsible I'm just like... no surprises here mate.

-

Plus. Cas had a shoulder!Dean there

-

Gabriel yoinks a book out of the shelf. It's Laying Pipe. A beginner's guide to plumbing and pipe fitting.

The cover is suitably phallic.

Gabriel is standing by the katana - the pointy one that the BMoL kept sharp. Ya know, sword sharpening.

Something he was having issues with just now despite all his sharp wooden swords last week.

-

Penis.

-

"It's not always like that!!""Gabriel, please."

She was waiting for him to break that tension.

*manly virile page turning*

*more angry defences*/"I don't need to hear excuses!"

... Rowena being left alone in the library to tease their other guests is the best part of the show and they should start a regular segment which is talkshow style of Rowena plus whatever poor sucker of the week is hanging out in the bunker

"It doesn't make me any less of an archangel!" "mright."

-

Oh now you're blaming Rowena for your perfomance, huh, buddy?

-

Rowena saying a drunk six year old could operate the spell is probably not commentary on the fact that Dean is the last person to do it, huh?

-

Rowena saying "the three amigos with their bro hugs, pep talks and melodrama" changes the fundamental dynamic - the stereotype of their nonsense is the three of them hugging it out, instead of in 10x05, the last time they were meta textually mocked for it, Sam n Dean getting the BM scenes, and Cas and Dean's in-show dynamic not being explictly referenced except for the fact that Dean clearly thought the personal space jokes were being taken too far before he had the explanation. This makes it clear the BM moments are about TFW, uses the fact that the 3 of them are all together right now to put them all in one room and have them talking out the latest issue together away from the others, in order to establish that Cas is firmly a part of what was once the bro dynamic.

Of course he's had moments where he hangs with them in what otherwise would be the BM scene of the episode right the way through, but THIS is a metatextual statement about the dynamic, one that is more than just Rowena's snark, but writer commentary on another level, pulling on our pre-existing understanding of the show mocking the BM moments to make it expressly clear that Cas is involved too.

If Bobo is on the way out to nurture the Wayward Sisters, then this is one of those closing statements on his way. That he wants us to understad that Cas is intrinsically a part of this dynamic, and that the FUNDAMENTAL CORE of the show, the BM Scene, is a TFW inclusive incident no matter whether all 3 of them are involved in it or not, it is a thing they do TOGETHER and is NOT a justthebros meta joke. The BM thing is not just the concept of Sam and Dean looking weepy at each other over the car. It's their FAMILY, together, just as Bobo shows Sam dreaming of their FAMILY being TFW, mom and Cas's weird son who counts how much pizza you eat.

-

Jesus christ I was going to make a joke that Rowena and Gabriel would probably bang as my next point to break the mood of that rant but I hit play and she's checking out his tush and inner monologuing it.

Never mind.

they gonna bang

-

"She's so tiny. and angry."

I stan 1 heterosexual couple.

-

Ahahahaha he noticed her dancer's body and wondered how flexible she is. Oh dear. I'm gonna back off because I may or may not have written this exact thing in my notes in her last episode

-

They're adorable.

-

"So, we've a little time."

Oh dean's room is not going to get out of this unscathed

-

She raises up the wooden pestle.

"to fill what?"

-

*red flashing sign which says 'PENIS' is glaring uncontrollably in the corner of the screen*

-

Listen, because these two are the skankiest archangel and rowena, who is, well, rowena, we are getting to enjoy subtext for the sake of immediate pay off that they're openly attracted to each other and we're literally getting their checking each other out and staring into each other's eyes montage.

Sure does help with the show doing this more subtly in other places.

-

SHE'S

i

Phil -

BOBO

-

yeah and abruptly to give them some privacy, back to TFW who are gonna come to whatever conclusion, go looking for Gabriel and Rowena, and end up knocking on Dean's door, open it, there they are in a heap in his bed.

-

Bobo "invented the fan fiction gap" Berens writing like it's going out of style

-

Oh no Sam's sitting next to the coffee maker that was briefly haunted by Kevin, in a Bobo episode.

-

"I don't like it, but it's our only choice. Our fun, great choice."

Bobo I forgot how much I love your Sam. Your Sam makes me laugh and cry. And here is sarcastic Sam, briefly returning from hiatus, and of course you are writing my favourite and the best version of Sam.

He gets to call out how they make these choices all the time where they have to go do horrible things, even against their own trauma. When he'd rather be anywhere else.

-

Dean points out they only have 24 hours as a complaint, but Sam has a "wait a second" which maaay or may not be resolving that. But first, they go find their archangel and witch -

Dean looks a little perturbed

-

Awwww they were only making out among the books, not defiling Dean's room.

Shame.

-

Cas's head immediately tilts.

Fan fic aside, this is the most action the Bunker has EVER seen.

Unless Sam and Eileen hooked up in 12x17, that is.

The most confirmed action. No one has ever brought a date back here.

Dean still has not hooked up with Cas. That we know of.

-

"Reading books... here in the library... Which is the room we are in now." Well okay sure

Sam is utterly horrified. Take your shipping pick on which one or both of them he's most affronted by.

Gabriel is 100% that guy you can NOT introduce to your attractive friends.

-

What is Cas even doing

he's like... I can't even look at you, Gabriel

-

Oh, bartender in the shirt Gabriel will be in very shortly. *pretends not to be surprised*

I guess we're not hearing the plan yet :P

-

The bartender sounds awfully concerned about how much Lucifer is drinking - if it's Gabriel, he's needling him about how much he's drinking, maybe just to hear how he justifies it.

-

"I had Heaven... Hell... in the palm of my hand. You know what I learned?" Me, internally: "Nothing."

Lucifer grumbling about how they don't matter, though. They don't matter to HIM, but they matter for the world running smoothly. The natural order, the cogs whirring as they should, would all do so much better without you around. Wherever you go, you don't fit in and you suck.

- He moves on to grumbling about Jack and how he can't find him, how it doesn't matter because "his bitch of a mother poisoned him against me, probably forever" - humanity is a poison to him. Love and compassion literally toxic.

-

"I'm sure things will work out in the end. Jack will come around!"

I know Gabriel is just trying to troll Lucifer, but it does read as ominous, because all season the low key threat has been there that Jack might end up going at least a little darkside. More darkside than being reckless and accidentally hurting people. Going over a darkside where he doesn't immediately feel dreadful about the people who get hurt around him.

-

Hahaha he's so drunk. Rowena can magically roofie him. Wonderful.

And of course at the reveal, Gabriel has Kingdom Beer signs on top of him. The sign of the Kingdom of Heaven.

(I continue kinda wondering/hoping about the prodigal son return for Gabriel)

The thing is, how did they know Lucifer would be here or receptive to being roofied? Honestly, if this episode keeps up the quality, I won't question it beyond this note :P

-

Oh I love this confrontation.

"Surprise"

He runs out of a bright white door and right through the other side.  This feels a LOT like Chuck's bar in 11x20, which calls back to Robbie's fare thee well episode, and reminds us that Gabriel really is the most like his father of all his sons, but also is the trap in the fairy tent with Charlie in 8x11.

There's a stag on the door, and that's more virile imagery.

-

If Gabriel is low on grace, I'd imagine this is Rowena's work, for the most part, and Gabriel just has to be intimidating enough to make this work.

-

Oh look here's someone else "back from the dead" ... It's not Lucifer's day

and even if she's not on the fullest full power, she's ready to meet Lucifer, because Sam's the one who kills her.

-

He must think he's hallucinating some people he killed, until it all get too real.

-

"Put me out of my misery! Go ahead!"

this is what I like to hear.

Sadly, I doubt they will. But it's still music to my ears.

Lucifer reaching the nadir of this arc, wherever it's supposed to go... I hope to his death, and it would be nice if he did die at the end of the season and the show was brave enough to move on to a world without Lucifer. With the apparent draw of Mark P to some parts of the audience I'm scared they won't, but at the very least it's seeming somewhat plausible right now, as he's brought down again and again and shown to have no moral fibre, no redeeming qualities, no drive to do better. Through and through, vile and useless, the story tells us, agreeing with how he comes across, how Mark P as Lucifer makes us feel in a way that the energy of Casifer did not convey at all because that all seemed to be at least for a purpose and Casifer was fun, and it didn't seem to be implying Lucifer trailing on and on and unendingly on as it ended up being >.>

-

take 2 of the spell! Lucifer trussed up in the Bunker library, Dean perching on a table. Get your muddy boots off that chair.

-

I love watching him kneeling there leaking grace. I'm petty like that... I feel like everyone in the room is too. It has a feeling like when they stole Metatron's grace, but instead no one cares to heal him and they're not even really aiming to make him human, they're just kinda. Ew. Lucifer. Who cares.

-

Rowena's trousers are INCREDIBLE.

-

I swear they used "stuck pig" in the last couple of episodes, or I'm imagining that?

Anyway Sam's plan is the least they could do to Lucifer

hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

-

This is what happens when you suck: eventually a bunch of guys (gender neutral term) pin you down, leave you frozen in place dripping grace in a gross way, and all laugh at you before they leave

-

"When we get back, then we'll kill you."

Nice plan. Sadly, nice as it is, it gives Lucifer wiggle room to not be here or not be dead >.>

Rowena staying behind with him is unconcerning when Sam goes through the rift in the sense of character death (and she's a lot more confident around Lucifer all of a sudden :P) but I still don't want anything too bad to happen to her :( Still, it seems like a half-assurance that she will be okay.

-

"Save your mum," Rowena says.

The main problem, of course, being that Lucifer knows Mary is there, doesn't know Jack is there, but while they played it very cool, it's worryingly likely he's starting to guess that Jack is in there, whether he can sense him through the rift or he just has a feeling that this might be it...

-

Ahahahaha it's on a hill

Sam and Cas roll down it, Gabriel kinda cartwheels, and Dean comes out running and does a cool skid down the hill.

Oh gross, Gabriel ended up face first in Cas's crotch :P Dean is like FIRST YOU DEFILE ROWENA AND NOW CAS? HOW DARE -

-

IS THIS ENTIRE EPISODE ABOUT PENISES?

-

Dean is just... wow

-

You guys, sometimes it's easy to meta an episode and sometimes it is very very hard and sometimes you don't even wanna type the words very very hard

-

"Kentucky. North East Kentucky" are we here entirely because of Asmodeus or is this to put us kinda halfway between Michael and Jack's last known location? Not that they know Michael's current location.

-

Rowena has no time for concern trolling about being "left behind in the kitchen" when she knows the only reason Lucifer would care is because he wants out.

She also reminds him he's being emasculated, because yes, this episode is all about penises.

-

Lucifer switches to being annoying, singing the same song as the password to Billie's pad in 11x10 - the episode where he first killed Rowena.

-

Gabriel walking along holding his blade at a 90 dergee angle to his body

-

Cas drops by to casually check how Gabriel is feeling about running Heaven maybe perhaps pretty please?

Gabriel points out all the things which could kill them first before they ever need to worry about that

Oh gosh he did have sex with Rowena. At some point. Maybe not right then in the library unless he magically dressed her again. But some point between then and now. Pfft.

-

Poor Dean's room I guess.

-

Cas is remarkably good at steering this conversation, when he has a point to get to. He has learned a considerable amount of tact before getting to "Heaven's dying, Gabriel," because for one thing he hasn't hauled him aside and said all this sooner. I'm always pleased when Cas's people skills are apparent.

-

"They wouldn't want me back, Castiel. As far as they're concerned, I'm a screw up. Hell, as far as *I'm* concerned I'm a screw up."

Oh, no. Please don't make me like you any more than I already do. This is the opposite conversation to 9x18 in the car with meta!Gabriel, Cas having to bring up the subject of Gabriel leading Heaven. It has to be him because they need an archangel, so there's no double bluff to pull where Cas could do it instead. There were 9x18 vibes all over last episode right down to Dean having a soft moment over the phone from a motel with Cas while they worked 2 ends of a case, and now we have this. 9x18 is steering a little bit from the background.

I LIKE the idea of Gabriel as the leader of a mostly stable but much more chill Heaven. And this seems tentatively positive, that it's maaaaybe just a self-esteem/compatibility thing. This is what is immediately being offered as the first obstacle to mind. Gabriel left, because of his brothers, but they're all dead or bound in the main world. They daren't haul Michael out of the pit, even just to imprison him in Heaven to keep the lights on, apparently, which just leaves him. And his major reasons for leaving are all gone now. No more archangels. Just him.

Which means that I was right after Naomi asked Cas to see about getting him back, that this comes down to how Gabriel feels, that after all this isolation, it's about does he feel he can return home, and how will home feel about him returning.

-

"Well, heaven's been run into the ground by upstanding angels. Perhaps a screw up is what we need."

ILY babe

-

*Cas looks hopefully at Gabriel*

*Conversation ends with a long shot of their walk in the woods*

-

Well that was a veeeery interesting note to leave that. As I was saying a few hours ago about 13x20, it may be that Gabriel doesn't need to find something to stand for to die for, but to LIVE for, which is a much more positive thing. I really actually kinda like the way this dovetails with Heaven's problems as a reason to compel him to go back, because Gabriel approaching it like a screw up who doesn't want to break anything sure is better than an egomaniac having a go.

-

Sam is feeling bouncier just to be in the same universe as mom and Jack

he wants the pizza party

let him have the fucking pizza party

it was just his birthday!

-

He's wearing his dumb backpack he's had season season 1 and it makes me unhappy in a "oh god he was so tiny" way

-

He's also being unnervingly optimistic about how close they are to winning, to getting Mary and Jack back, and he's finally got optimism. His mood is basically defined by this to such a horrible degree.

... Which is totally not a parallel to the beginning of the season where Dean was miserable until they got Cas back at which point he was so happy that Sam called him out on it

-

*distant screams of campers being menaced by a wendigo in the woods*

-

"Not our world, not our problem."

Dude, they're hunters wherever

-

Interesting how everyone here knows about the supernatural, so random hikers keeping low off the grid will know what was attacking them. And some basic lore about how vampires were affected by the lower population and starvation

-

TBH the comparison to the wendigo in looks isn't too wildly far off; they're both humans who have become completely monstrous in a way where they go off the deep end

-

The rebels Jack and Mary set up a colony there ... that could be anyone

-

Oh, great, tunnel of terrifying vampires. This is a distraction/time waste that will probably eat up the rest of the episode for them and cause nothing but pain >.>

-

Oh, we're only halfway through...

-

Gah how are we only halfway through??

-

Oh no, Rowena. Being left alone with Lucifer being annoying is one thing. Being left alone with him talking about how he murdered her is not a thing where she can play up the vindictiveness of the situation... trauma is trauma and just because she has him bound and knows he can't kill her isn't something that makes her entirely immune to facing that :(

-

Oh Rowena

-

Oh no

-

... Although within that Rowena casually calls them "his three fathers" which is hilarious and also particularly awful for Lucifer to  hear because it was bad enough knowing that Jack liked Cas more than him when he didn't know that

-

Yeeeep she didn't know that winding him up makes him stronger because anger is where his power comes from because he's so fuckin awful

-

Also ew he has something to fight for.

At least until Jack smushes him like a bug /wishful thinking

-

Oh for - he didn't even jump into the portal, she threw him off of her and he went in it by accident.

I mean, just for accountability stakes, adding it all up, could that have been any more her fault? Bleh :P

-

I assume the portal will still stay open a lil while, but

-

Oh, she's packing the Black Grimoire.

Good.

Now, is she actually going into the rift to save them, while putting on her fancy coat and scarf and all?

Or is she leaving?

-

"Not my problem!"

-

Those guys are your friends.

"BOLLOCKS!"

How DARE I have feelings. FEELINGS.

-

I guess Gabriel is also on the other side of the rift.

They're soulmates :P

-

Omg it's not the old mine from 1x02 and 11x19

I'm actually disappointed

-

Heheh everyone has glowsticks

party!Cas

-

THIS PLACE IS SCARY AND I DON'T LIKE IT

-

WHERE IS THE RAVE?

-

Wonder how much speculation we'll get about Dean looking up at that one bright light and being in a spotlight under it... Like, Michael-wise.

It is interesting to single him out with the spotlight.

-

*Cas and Gabriel just casually moving rocks*

Look, Cas could blast those all away but they're trying to play it cool for the campers

-

Who may or may not get picked off by vampires

-

No, Sam is wandering

he will be picked off by vampires

-

Bobo you need to stop killing Sam

-

I mean theoretically you just murdered Sam and are ditching the show to go write Wayward like hah hahahaha no consequences here I am the showrunner, now I will make Claire and Kaia kiss

-

Think of how Jody will feel, my guy

-

...

Okay that's enough of the "Sam is permanently dead lol" joking.

-

"Saaaam!" Cas yells and disappears down the tunnel

-

Cas comes back Sam-less and makes Dean leave too. I'm gonna be ship neutral on account of how Sam just got eaten by vampires. But it was intense and sad.

-

Yet, somehow, less sad than that time Cas died in front of Dean, when it comes to OTT melodrama. I mean there was a lot of shouting, but Dean's still moving.

-

Dean looks great

-

Hey, I guess 11x17 was good practice for this.

-

Cas ought to be walking with him holding his hand. It's criminal to make him do this alone

-

Wow, Sam you look terrible.

-

Guys, are you really going to destroy the angel warding on the camp? That's SUPER DANGEROUS

-

MARY

HUGS

YAY

(Why are you not hugging Cas?)

-

So yeah, you gotta tell mom that Sam's dead now

-

Just to get you

-

You can have one (1) family member at a time

-

Aw no don't cry!!!

-

Look, your brother was just taking a snooze because the rave got too real! He and his glowstick are fine!

...

Somehow

-

Is he a vampire?

-

Mittens tells me he's not a vampire, which just makes this all the more confusing

-

Aw

shit

-

Sam's like, can we go back to when I was dead?

-

Okay now he's heard Lucifer's story he's like can I REALLY go back to being dead?

-

This is like when someone wakes you up in the morning and you just don't wanna get out of bed. In that moment, no matter how much you love that person, they are to you metaphorically what Lucifer is to Sam right now.

Fitting, that it started with him vs his alarm clock as a loved one

Now we see the even darker side to mornings

-

Look, I'm kinda... horrified here so I'm just...

Can you kill this fucker and get back to your family already?

-

HONESTLY if I was Sam I'd take my chance with the wall of angry vampires rather than stick around for this conversation

-

"You need me"

... no shade on that concept though or anything, when it's a wall of angry vampires vs pretending to like Lucifer so he can hang out with Jack

-

I mean seriously I love Sam to bits but I'd be genuinely happy to see him torn apart by vampires again just to spite Lucifer.

-

Oh JACK no sweetie

We didn't even see them getting to hug each other, it's just straight to Gabriel sitting quietly, Jack pacing miserably, demanding why they didn't bring Sam back

-

Oh, he's fine

all that stress for nothing

-

"Please don't judge this friend I made at the rave, it was a really really bad night."

-

Do you ever find yourself staring into space thinking, "I would genuinely have been happier if the last shot of the episode was Sam being torn apart by vampires for the second time in 15 minutes?"

-

This is gonna go over swimmingly in a Buckleming episode for all the character dynamics. They are the only writers left who seem to actually like Lucifer.

-

Why does everything build up to stuff that needs to be handled by not-Buckleming right before a Buckleming episode anyway?

[dadbodbuck]

fanfic tag game

tagged by @ekstasisandangst !

What is your total word count on AO3? (Go to your Dashboard, then click on Statistics.)

308,751

How often do you write?

I'm taking an English class in college right now, so, daily. When I'm not, I still try to write at least a little every day, but sometimes I am just too busy.

Do you have a routine for writing?

Not really. I mostly write what I feel like/need to get done until I run out of steam.

Favorite tropes/pairings?

God, I looooooooove forbidden romance. And monsters as a metaphor for queerness. And melodrama.

Do you have a favorite fic of yours?

Maybe? My favorite fic changes by the day. I will always go to bat for "two birds; on a wire" tho that shit rules.

Fic with the most kudos?

"gimme gimme gimme" which is absolutely shameless smut. Do I regret it? Absolutely not. Do I brag to my friends that my internet porn is beloved by half a thousand people? Yes, all the time.

Anything you don't like about your writing?

My writing tends to be like everything else I do, which is incredibly spontaneous and way too ambitious for my attention span and ability. So, usually my writing disappoints me at least a little, but I am very used to saying my art is "good enough".

Now something you do like:

I love to go back and read my own writing. I think my biggest strength is that my writing is just very (for lack of a better word) readable. Obviously I'm biased, because it is words from my own brain, but I feel like some authors struggle with making their writing entertaining instead of just plainly stating the facts of their story.

If you're reading this, consider yourself tagged (if you want to).