#gifts for employee

[skellydun]

I don't think I'm meant to be employed. It really cuts into my goofy silly haha time. and it makes it nearly impossible to have any wow life is beautiful let me take it in time.

[unbfacts]

[wri0thesley]

truly think that dottore would invent the teyvat equivalent of the first hitachi magic wand just so he could overstimulate you until you cried

[paanzermensch]

I think we need to acknowledge this (Suffering Cute Aggression)

[kazza-desu]

^ Gift fanart for @bucketbrainrot (ft fairy narry)

^ Gift fanart for @red-acteduser (ft James/#432)

Chesus, drawing these with y'all's was a ton of fun (and honour). Let's stream again some time :D

*Reminder that these are not my characters

[the-labyrinth-of-me]

Coffee World amoosement park 🫎☕🚫

[shopwitchvamp]

All DFW Alamo Drafthouse locations were suddenly closed down today (due to bankruptcy) and I am now lost, adrift, and in despair

[amygdalae]

Can i ask where you get generally ahold of some of your jewellry/accessories? I all looks sick& i have a pretty similar fashion sense but cant ever find a good source for such things that dont look mad cheap / are too specific to ever get ahold of in an op shop !

ive had great success finding cool and affordable items at my local flea/antiques market that sets up monthly! but i havent been able to go in awhile cuz I usually work that day :(

[an--artistic--autistic]

let's see how long executive dysfunction will kick my ass before stress let's me do all the tasks that need to be done in the next 10 hours

[tatonslice]

its sergey saturday and id like to celebrate heres images ive made spanning across months but never posted

[insane-control-room]

i dont have a pairing prompt but what if you just put some guys in a situation - working for the company? :3

tysm for the prompt <3

Coi_ Factory

Jack's in a bad mood. T'ḥiát takes care of it. May has a not great time.

ft. @greenghostlyjekyll's Jack & @ichaisme's May :3 based on a real conversation lmao

words: 1,250 general fic warnings: light/playful violence; coil-heads

Fic under cut!

Generally, Jack was pretty chill, T'ḥiát would tell you. But really, you should not trust T'ḥiát’s opinion for diddly squat, as they tended to be an idiot. People who had worked with them would tell you that it must be that TZP that they were constantly inhaling like it was oxygen that muddled their brain to hell and back.

Jack was chill, sure, but they also did not mind if you ended up becoming mulch, as long as quota was hit and enough was made to head out to that desolate, far away planet Titan. 

Jack, dissatisfied with the newbies, and finding that they had lost one of them on quota number two, decided that the 120 chip price was more than sufficient to enlist T'ḥiát’s services once again - an idea assisted by the fact that T'ḥiát’s price of a fresh TZP can (instead of the empty canisters that the company begrudgingly gave them as payment) was 70% off in the shop. Well worth it, in Jack’s eyes. 

Especially after they were bunked up with one of the newbies on the next moon, who asked something so stupid, so ridiculous, so uneducated about Jack’s home planet that Jack only looked at them like they were crazy and stormed off, hoping they would get eaten by a spider or something.

Unfortunately for Jack, the “or something” happened, and that something was ‘got back to the ship only minorly injured from a stupid fall’. 

T'ḥiát, darting around the ship in a spazzing manner that defied some law of physics (clearly trying to savor the canister of TZP, only using it on the moons) noticed their bad mood, and zipped over. 

“What’s the matter, Jacks?” they asked, bouncing up and down. They stilled suddenly, head tilting. Someone who did not know T'ḥiát might have been unnerved. “You seem a bit miffed!” 

“Nothing, nothing, it’s fine, just…” Jack gave a quiet growl. “Somethin’ stupid is all.” 

“You can always talk to me,” T'ḥiát shrugged, hopping up on top of the controls console. “Even if you think it’s stupid, if it’s bothering you, it’s bothering me.”

“Someone just asked me, and I quote,” Jack said, raising their fingers to make bunny ear quotations in the air. “‘Does Titan have coil factories’?”

T'ḥiát stared at them - or one could assume so, by the way their blank visor was pointed directly at them without moving. 

“Oh, no.” they remarked, in denial. “No one could know that little about the moons.” 

“Well, they asked!” Jack gestured without any specific motions. Their helmet was off, so they took the advantage of being able to pinch the bridge of their nose. “Like! Buddy! Where do you think all the damn coil heads come from, Experimentation? Yeah, right, the only good that place is for is faulty V-type engines!” 

“Who asked that?” T'ḥiát wondered aloud. Jack pointed at the person ringing the company bell, and growled, “The FNG, who else?” 

“I see!” T'ḥiát replied lightly. “I’ll go give ‘em a talk.”

“You go do that, buddy,” Jack grumbled, though their mood was a little uplifted. “I appreciate it.”

“A lesson they won’t soon forget,” T'ḥiát went on, probably with a smile. Jack blinked, raising an eyebrow. “Bye!”

Jack watched them leave, and put a stick of gum in their mouth contemplatively. 

“Alright. I guess.” 

T'ḥiát came back after a few minutes of chatting with the new employee. 

“Done,” T'ḥiát remarked. “We’re going to Titan next quota.”

--

The snowy expanse of Titan loomed around them. The FNG was already in the complex, gathering loot with T'ḥiát. 

Said addict slammed down into the ship, and nudged Jack. 

“Doing well!” T'ḥiát chirped, then pressed the can of TZP to the inhalation module on their suit for exactly nine seconds. Their voice slightly higher than normal, they went on, “Going back!” 

The next time they came back with a haul, Jack grabbed their arm.

“What did you do to the newbie?” Jack asked. “Why was she so excited to come here?” 

“I told her that there were no coil factories on Titan,” T'ḥiát replied calmly, ignoring the eye twitch that was no doubt occurring behind Jack’s visor. “I told them that there’s a coin factory here and that cash registers are all the rage.”

“Mhm,” Jack contemplated their words for a long moment. Then they nodded. “They're gonna die.” 

“Ya, probably,” T'ḥiát agreed, then their arm was by their side again, as though Jack was never holding it in the first place. “Unless I feel bad enough for them. Well, going back.” 

Jack nodded, and watched them sprint off, chuckling to themself as they went back to the monitor. 

Sure enough, there was a red dot in front of the new guy. 

The new guy was strafing, one inch at a time.

Jack leaned back and smiled.

--

“Uh… can I get a bit of help?” 

The newbie’s distressed voice bounced along the corridors. T'ḥiát sighed, making their way to the sound's origin. 

“Ask nicely!” they called out, gauging the location of the lost employee. “Quick!”

“Please?” 

T'ḥiát came up swiftly, tilting their head and walking up to the coil head. They circled around it, and nodded once. 

“That there’s a coil head, alright,” they commented unnecessarily. The new guy gave a wheeze of fear. “Don’t you worry, I’ll get you out of here just fine. I see you got your cash register. May, was it?”

“Yeah- yes,” May replied, trembling hard. “I want to get out of here. Now.” 

“Calm down princess,” T'ḥiát soothed, shaking their can of TZP. “If you want, you can have a bit of this, it’ll help your nerves. Just promise that you’ll apologize to good ol’ Jack about the coil factories question when we get back. They got pretty offended by it.” 

“I didn’t think that it was an offensive question!” she defended herself with some bewilderment. T'ḥiát sighed and pushed her along. “Where are we going?” 

“Fire exit. Keep moving forward. I’ve got Mr. Crybaby.” 

“Crybaby?” 

“Don’t question it. Make a left. Your other left.” 

“To the glowing red dot?”

“That’s it. Right out there.”

T'ḥiát waited until they heard the door shut behind them before they phased through the crack.

May was breathing hard outside of the door. T'ḥiát nudged her to get her to start moving. 

“You’re a jerk,” May hissed. T'ḥiát shrugged. “I’m going to- to hurt you.” 

“Sure, doll,” T'ḥiát replied, just as peppy as usual. “That’s a nice cash register you’ve got there. Better make it count. Better crack my skull open in one shot.” 

“I’m not going to do that!?” May gasped, shocked. T'ḥiát tilted their head at her as they jumped down onto the lighting - May taking the stairs, like a normal person. They asked; “Why not?” 

“Because- because I’m not going to kill you!” 

“Coward,” T'ḥiát hummed. May stared at them through her visor. “Jack’s probably going to kill me when we get back onto the ship. Be more like Jack.” 

“Why would they kill you when we get back?!”

“You.”

Sure enough, as soon as they stepped onboard, Jack clonked T'ḥiát on the head with a shovel. They dropped like a popped balloon. May did not like thinking about the fact that their suit looked the part.

--

“Why did you save them!?” Jack demanded when they were in orbit again, shaking T'ḥiát violently. They shrugged, now next to the computer and out of Jack’s grip. “T'ḥiát! Stop teleporting!” 

“I don’t teleport. Also - I felt bad.” 

May rang her cash register. 

[skywalkir]

me trying to write any thread with vader : okay how do i keep him in character but also stop him from force choking them 🤔

[peaches2217]

Honestly? Today was an amazing day! Exhausting, stressful at points, but so much fun. Chatting with and helping all the people pouring into our park to watch the eclipse, scrambling to restock the gift shop because ice and firewood and refreshments and tees and mugs were flying off the shelves faster than we could put them out, looking out and seeing people having fun, kids stumbling in to use our bathroom all sunburnt and worn out but visibly content...

It kinda reaffirmed that I'm finally, finally where I belong. I enjoyed certain aspects of my work while in retail, but this is easily the most passionate I've ever felt about a job since I did work-study for the Communications department in college. I always thought in the back of my mind that a career in tourism sounded nice. Today I realized with a sort of finality that it's really, truly what I wanna do with my life.

I dunno. Having been in a place for the past several months (and frankly most of my adult life) where I wasn't even sure I'd make it to 30, having something so concrete to look forward to feels nice.

[judesstfrancis]

frat boys love weird little dudes of indeterminate gender I'm discovering bc every time a backwards cap polo wearing white boy comes in the store he will follow me around for 30 minutes and buy absolutely everything I point at regardless of cost. this has happened enough times for me to see it as a pattern

[trainingdummyrabbit]

"youre crying about standard training dummy rabbit?"

"the blind trust and genuine desire to help got to me."

"i see."