#gift card airbnb

[design-zone]

A great addition to your Christmas Holiday Season! Save money by editing and printing this Christmas Gift Voucher Template yourself. Your loved ones will be thrilled!

[larkspur-collective]

Didn't want to do this again, but uh. Huge update; we're very, very close to getting into a place! Our parent, however, injured himself, and we took over cleaning in his stead. We've also split up for the duration of this waiting period and so don't have any financial assistance. we don't have nearly enough money to keep ourselves afloat here while we wait, and we don't earn enough to keep it up too long. If we could raise up to $200 or $300 in airbnb gift cards, that would be fantastic. so we can start earning and getting ahead of our stay. Any and all help is appreciated. Please reblog or share this!

Send any gift cards to:

phoenixdesignskairos@gmail.com

Hi, all. Really hate to do this but.. Our parent is on SSI , a fixed income, and we've been trying to keep the two of us out of homeless shelters, working incredibly hard doing so. Neither of us would be safe in shelters. Currently, all our money is going towards barely keeping a roof over our heads, not even counting food and other necessities, and we can't manage that much longer. We really really need all the help possible to stay in a safe environment and out of danger until March 1st at the least. We need, at the very least, $200 in airbnb gift cards [we're staying at one and even have a discount, but we need to last til March] and $200 via paypal or cashapp. My paypal is @kaithepotatochip, and cashapp is @LyghthousesX. Please help if possible;;

[comatosebunny09]

with a pretty bow on top | astarion a.

summary: you’ve never been particularly good at wrapping things. but you want to ensure your friends have the best gifts of all, including a certain snarky elf who’s difficult to please. genre(s): romance, fluff, modern au, friends to (possible) lovers warning(s): alcohol, profanity, mentions of blood, mutual pining notes: merry chrysler! i hope everyone has a lovely christmas! thank you so much for reading! screenshot credit

For the umpteenth time, the paper rips. 

And for the umpteenth time, you feel this is a lost cause. Deflate like a balloon, a sigh rushing past your lips.

You’ve never been particularly good at wrapping things. Usually had your mother or roommate to carry that burden. 

You routinely opt for gift bags. Easier to drop a present inside, dress it up with pretty tissue paper and a witty card, and go about your business. 

But you made a terrible mistake, forgoing the convenience store in your haste to get to your Airbnb.

It’s a tucked-away cabin in the woods. Secluded and ominous, shrouded by the night. The pristine blanket of snow building outside makes up for its creepiness. It’s nice to be away from the city, too, surrounded by people you adore. People who’ve filled the space between your ribs for years. 

On cue, their merriment reaches your ears, streaming from the kitchen. 

They’re hammered. You should be, too. But you want to ensure your friends have the best gifts of all. Wrapped neatly and tucked beneath the Christmas tree, waiting to be ripped open come morning. 

You huff, balling up another sheet of paper and chucking it. 

Errant pieces of tape litter your clothing. Strips of foil wrapping paper gleam in the light emitted from the fireplace. The ribbons you haphazardly cut shift in the ceiling fan’s breeze. Your battlefield. 

The medium-sized box sitting between your spread legs leers at you condescendingly. You fold your arms, nudging it with your foot. 

“I’m not your bitch,” you mutter, turning your nose up with a scowl. 

“Well, that’s no way to greet an old friend.” 

You start, your attention pilfered by the man wandering towards you. 

He paints an ethereal picture in the firelight, curls flouncing about and glowing like a halo around his head. A bottle of wine and two Bordeaux glasses greet you from between his fingers. He wears that effervescent smirk beneath round frames. Brow pitches up with amusement, gait flamboyant whilst the kitchen blurs behind him. 

You swallow, your lips trembling around a greeting when he plops down beside you. Cross-legged, scooting closer like a friend bearing gossip. Fills your lungs with the smell of brandy and cracked vanilla beans. He’s naturally corpse-cold, but the slightest bit of warmth radiates off his skin, permeating through the layers of your clothes. 

Must’ve fed on something viscous wandering the woods before he found you.

He brings you back when he pushes a glass into your hand. 

“I was wondering where you’d wandered off to,” Astarion purrs, his tone colored with alcohol. With your breath held in your esophagus, you watch as he pops the stopper off the bottle with a pointed tooth. Spits it out. “Mind if I impede on your party of one?”

Your lips twitch. Like you’d ever say no to him. “Course not.”

And no, you do not nearly jump some 50 feet out of your skin when limber fingers curl around yours, bringing the glass up for him to fill it. He catches your stare over the rim, scarlet spun eyes alight with mischief. You look away as heat branches up your neck. 

The dark liquid sloshes about as he fills his own glass. Fizzles, the sweet fragrance curling around your nose. “Finally, some good shit,” you breathe, taking a sip. Release a content sound as it bubbles on the back of your tongue. The burn of it washes over your nerves, loosening them.

Astarion scoffs, leaning back on the hand he positioned behind you. Adam’s apple bobs in your peripheral as he takes a swig. He redirects his attention to you, something of a pout occupying his lips. “Darling, you wound me. As if I would bring anything worse than that cheap excuse for booze you lot rave about. Four Loko, was it?” 

You snicker, nursing your glass. Turn the stem between your fingers, examining the hardwood floor beneath. 

Sure, he’s always had this thing with you. This way of squeezing himself beneath your skin where no one else could, turning you into some flustered mess. But you can’t deny you’ve missed his company. His eccentricities. His smell.

The years have dragged you all apart. Pushed you in different directions, your careers casting you out to sea. But like driftwood, you all floated back to shore. United under the same roof to celebrate Christmas and usher in the new year.

It’s a pleasant sensation, idling with the wine warming your veins.

The hum of his voice eases through your musings. “Mm, what’s this about?” Astarion queries around another mouthful of wine, signaling to the massacre at your feet. 

You shrink. An uneasy smile rounds your cheeks. “Yeah, about that. Kinda got carried away.” 

“Carried away? By the hells, it looks like you got into a fight with a pair of scissors and…lost. Abysmally.”

You snort. “Alright, alright. Take it easy. We can’t all be gifted with our hands like some people, Mister Art Teacher.” 

Your stomach plummets. Blood turns to ice. The double entendre hits you like a sack of coal. You bring your glass to your lips to mask your unease. To mask the shakiness of your limbs. 

Astarion exudes smugness, admiring his nails with a flourish of his fingers. “Well, these hands aren’t just made for sculpting works of art, my dear.”

You sputter, speckles of wine flying everywhere. 

Astarion chuckles, the sound of it smooth as velvet. Leans closer, his elbow brushing your thigh as he reaches for something in front of you. You stiffen, biting the rim of your glass. It’s almost like you two haven’t been friends for years. Haven’t seen each other bleed, cry, piss, for God’s sake. 

“Come,” beckons Astarion, taking up a roll of wrapping paper and plucking the box from between your legs. 

You huff a disbelieving laugh. “What are you doing?” 

He scoffs. Side-eyes you as if it’s as apparent as night and day. “Well, clearly, no one’s taught you the art of wrapping a bloody gift. I mean, look at this. A child could do better.”

Your shoulders touch your ears. Astarion’s disapproval is akin to upsetting your parents. Even after all this time apart, he still knows how to lay the insults on thick. 

It’s kind of comical how he grumbles like an embittered old woman, unraveling some of the paper. Still methodical in everything he does, positioning the box in the center. Concentration pulls his brows together. “Fetch me that tape.”

You give him an incredulous look. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” you relent before doing as he demanded instructed. His fingers ghost over your hand in pursuit of the tape, and you bristle. 

Astarion goes into full scholar mode hereon, paper rippling around him as he cuts away. Moves like a butler masterfully laying out a tablecloth. No trace of inebriation lies in the shift of his fingers. It’s as if he hadn’t polished off a bottle of brandy before finding you. 

“Typically, wrapping paper comes with a template. A set of squares or lines you can use to gauge where you need to cut.” 

He gestures for the scissors. You scramble for them like a student eager to please their instructor. 

“Depending on how precise you want the wrapping to be, you must trim off as much excess as possible whilst ensuring you have enough left to cover your parcel.”

“Interesting.”

You angle yourself closer, sitting up on your haunches. The bulb of your glass grows warm, stained with your fingerprints. You nod, genuinely intrigued. Chin finds the pocket of his shoulder—an affectionate gesture amongst longtime friends. 

Astarion tenses. You wince, flinching away.

“Sorry.”

“No, no. It’s quite alright, darling.” He clears some phlegm from his throat. Squeezes your kneecap, presenting you with a fraction of a smile. Dragonflies tickle the lining of your stomach. He resumes his lesson as if his muscles aren’t pulled taut. 

Your lips twitch. Seems Astarion’s not the only one capable of disarming those around him. 

You cant your head along the slope of his shoulder, watching him work with the curiosity of a child.  

“It helps to tape here.” Carefully, he layers a strip of tape near the edge of the box where paper meets cardboard. “So as to keep your paper from shifting.”

As Astarion leads on, you find yourself terribly distracted. Your vision ebbs and flows. Body buzzes. From his proximity or the wine, you’re unsure. It’s a pleasant sensation, nonetheless.

The cacophony of the cabin and your friends fade into a dull hum. Only the rumble of Astarion’s voice fills the wrinkles of your brain. He’s surprisingly nurturing despite how he outwardly projects himself to the world. Soothing as he speaks to you, gaze occasionally flitting your way to ensure you’re still with him.

Try as you might to focus, you find your lids drooping, your vision blurred around the edges. An inebriated smile teases your lips. You could fall below the inky depths of sleep like this, led into it by his voice. Still would feel perfectly safe on your descent, knowing he’d be there to haul you back to the surface. 

You sit up to take him in. To observe the furrow of his brows, the coil of his lashes. The gilded lenses perched on his nose like a librarian. His mouth pulls into a tight line while he focuses. Plump and petal pink. Skin’s still smooth and dewy, glowing in the firelight like he’s descended from heaven. His hands move seemingly of their own volition. Caught in a dance he knows all too well, still pretty and delicate-looking, untouched by time. 

You imagine what they’d feel like, clasped in yours. Thumb cruising over the grooves of your knuckles, pushing reassuring beneath your skin. How he’d look with a careless smile, whispering the sweetest supplications into the crown of your head.

Reality comes pitching forward, the moment ending too soon. 

You blink out of your reverie as Astarion slides the box toward you. It softly thumps against your leg. Expertly wrapped with a bow in its center and ribbons waterfalling down its sides. You stare in awe. You could never master something so intricate. 

“And that, my dear, is how you wrap a present.” Astarion pats your thigh with finality before leaning back with a sigh. Looks smug as ever whilst taking a sip of his forgotten wine. 

You smirk. Offer Astarion a half-hearted applause, and he eats it all up.

“I envy whatever bastard receives this, honestly,” he croons around the mouth of his cup. “I outdid myself.”

You chuckle. Your inhibition is thrown to the wolves. You eye the present, your body vibrating with anticipation. Maybe it’s the liquid encouragement urging you forward, loosening your tongue. Whatever the cause, you push on. 

“I mean, I’d hope he likes it. He took his time wrapping it, after all.”

Astarion casts you a sidelong glance. Snorts into his glass. Realization gradually descends on his features. It’s funny watching his face morph into something akin to a confused puppy.

You shrug, caught like a child rifling through a cookie jar. It takes a moment, but his brows finally lift with an unasked question. 

Seriously, they ask. For me? 

You reach for the box, pointedly avoiding his stare. The heat of bashfulness inhabits your cheeks as you carefully slip the box into his lap. Your hand lingers. Fingers tenderly grip the meat of his quad, stars dancing across the stratosphere of your eyes when you muster the courage to look at him.

“Merry Christmas, Starry.”

He sputters. Sits up. Glances between you, the box, and the clock perched above the mantle. It’s midnight. Tradition dictates you open one present at the cusp of Christmas day.  

Astarion laughs, something airy and pleasant. His hand closes over yours, and he squeezes. He’s beautiful like this. Youthful as he glances up at you, his mouth working around a reply.

“You cheeky little shit. Making me wrap my own gift. The gall.”

He acts offended, but you know that couldn’t be further from the truth. 

“Would you rather I have wrapped it?”

You both warily eye your shit attempts at wrapping his gift. 

“Fair enough,” he jests with a resigned drop of his shoulders. 

You share a laugh, the air between you charged with affection. Through it all, you note Astarion’s hand has yet to leave yours. Thumb kneads reassuring circles into the clutch of your hand. Your heart thrums a war cadence in your ears, blotting out the sound of his wine glass clinking against the floor as he sets it down.

He releases a breath. Observes you a moment longer with a warm smile on his lips. Shifts his gift onto the floor beside him. “Come here,” Astarion murmurs, saturating your vision with nothing but him as he leans closer.

You heed his request, and your lids lower, a pleasant shiver sifting through your bones at his glacial fingers at the nape of your neck. You have but seconds to appreciate the flutter of his lashes before he closes in.  

He fuses his lips to yours with such precision. Tender, supple. Just like you always dreamed they would be. He’s frigid, but he scorches you from within. Gently takes possession of your cheek, coaxing your lips to part with the slide of his tongue after your body relaxes. 

You grant him the entry he requests with an abrasive sound easing from your throat. Warmth pools in the chasm of your belly whilst your tongues intermingle and the maple taste of brandy pushes into your mouth. 

His voice vibrates in your mouth as he chuckles something satisfied. He breaks the kiss with a soft click, and you chase his mouth in pursuit of another. 

“Don’t be greedy, darling,” he husks with a teasing tap to your nose.

Your eyes cautiously slide open. Lips still pursed, head still swimming. “What was that all about,” you breathe into the space between your mouths. 

Astarion chuckles, all fangs and mirth. You follow his gaze skyward, a blur of forest green and red nestled between the space of your lashes. Slowly, the distortion works itself into discernable shapes. You laugh at the telltale plant dangling above your head. Held by him.

“Mistletoe,” he croons as if it’s the most obvious thing.

You giggle, your nose brushing along the peak of his whilst you draw him in to press your foreheads together.

The time eases by with you sitting together by the fireplace, your cheek resting on Astarion’s shoulder as you regale stories of a childhood once passed. Hardly notice when you’re beckoned to sleep by the pretty girls of slumber.

[burrowbarbie]

warning: drinking, language, smut smut smut (didn't know y'all got it like that), MDNI!!!

“Oh my god, Hazel! I just finished my last class,” you yelled as you entered your dorm. The weight of school temporarily lifted off your shoulders, pushing away the lingering fear of finals. Hazel threw her hands up to congratulate you when you noticed someone sitting at your desk in the corner of your eye. Your head whipped over to see Ja'Marr waving at you. You placed your bag down and walked over to hug him.

“Hey! What are you doing here,” you greeted, a bit confused.

"We were just scheming,” Hazel said with a mischievous smile.

“As you know, this Saturday will be the SEC championship game against Georgia, which we’ll win. More importantly, Joe’s birthday is next week and we were thinking of doing one big party Saturday night. We’ve already rented out a club and now we’re just figuring out the details,” Ja'Marr explained.

“Aren’t you guys going to be tired,” you asked, worrying about the late game.

“We’ll just tough it out. We can sleep on the plane anyway, our flight is supposed to land at 10 and it won’t take long to drive back to campus, so we’ll probably get to the club around 11:30,” Ja'Marr said.

“What did you guys get him for his birthday,” you asked, stressed that you hadn’t purchased anything for Joe yet.

“I’m not sure what everyone else is getting, but I know Justin and his girlfriend, Nikki, are getting him something, and Hazel and I decided to go half on an AirBnB for y’all,” Ja'Marr shared, raising his eyebrows.

“And it’s 5 minutes away from the club and it’s not weird. We checked the reviews and you’ll have the whole house to yourself. No chances of you getting murdered,” Hazel said, throwing you a thumbs up.

“Joe might be murdering something, if you know what I mean,” Ja'Marr joked.

You and Hazel shot him a look.

“You know what, that was out of pocket. I apologize,” Ja'Marr said, stifling his laughter.

Your phone started buzzing. You answered it as Hazel and Ja'Marr went back to talking about Saturday. Joe’s voice greeted you from the other line.

“Hi Joe,” you greeted loudly, signaling to Hazel and Ja'Marr to stop talking.

“Hey to you too, what are you doing right now? I’m about to head over to your place,”

“You want to come over, right now?” you asked, repeating the question to see if they needed more time to plan.

Ja'Marr held up his hands, forming a one and a zero, and mouthed the words “minutes’. You nodded.

“Do you think you can come in like twenty minutes?”

“Yeah, that’s fine. Um, hey, we can talk about it more tonight, but the guys were thinking about going to a bar on Saturday when we came back from the game. I know it’s not your thing, but I wanted to see if you could come with me. It’ll be a good chance for everyone to meet you officially,” Joe rambled.

“You guys are going to a bar Saturday?”

“Yes, why are you repeating everything I’m saying?” Joe chuckled.

“Just to help me process. I don’t think I’ll make it on Saturday. Hazel invited me to go to her family’s this weekend and we’ll be back Sunday morning.”

“Oh. Well, that’ll be fun,” Joe replied, sounding dejected.

Ja'Marr and Hazel waved their hands, mouthing ‘what the hell’. You waved them off and continued your conversation.

“I’m sorry again, but I’m excited to see you,” you turn quickly, “I’ll make it up to you,” you whispered.

“I’m going to hold you to it, alright I’ll see you later,” Joe teased, hanging up.

You turned back around to find Hazel and Ja'Marr making gagging faces and you rolled your eyes in return.

“He doesn’t know about the club, so I thought it would be fun to surprise him. Now I have to find him a gift,” you groaned, as you sat on your bed.

“If you play your cards right, you probably won’t have to get him anything,” Ja'Marr insinuated.

Hazel scoffed and shot him an ugly look, but after a second she turned to you and nodded in agreement. You sighed and fell back on the bed as Hazel and Ja'Marr continued planning.

————————————————————————————

“Go, go,” Nikki yelled, watching Justin run down the field. You and Hazel looked on in anticipation. You were all watching the game at the Airbnb. The three of you decided to watch the game there and get ready before the party tonight.

As you watched the game, your mind couldn't help but wander back to last week's game with Joe's parents. They made you feel included, discussing plays and making you feel comfortable. A pang of regret hit you as you realized all the games and memories you missed by staying in your dorm.

Hazel shook your shoulders, bringing you back to the present moment. On-screen, you saw Joe evade two Georgia players and throw the ball to Justin. Your heart swelled with pride and admiration as you watched him play.

“There’s your man,” Hazel teased, nudging you.

As you guys continued to watch LSU dominate Georgia, you felt nervous as the night grew closer. Hazel could see your tension and got up to go to the kitchen. She pulled out a bottle of tequila and some small party shot glasses. Dancing her way back to the living room, Nikki laughed and cheered as you giggled. You didn’t enjoy drinking too much, but it was always a good time with her. She poured the shots and the clock was seconds away from ending the fourth quarter, she handed you each a cup. You raised your cups as the game ended and quickly downed your shot. Your face winced as the alcohol burned your throat.

Hazel clapped her hands together, “Alright ladies, let’s get ready.”

She had promised with all certainty that she had found the perfect outfit for tonight, and to trust her. But as she revealed a gold, metallic mini dress with an open back and matching heels, you couldn't help but laugh in disbelief.

“Hazel, it’s like forty degrees outside,” you argued.

“Duh, that’s why I got you this,” she countered, holding up a white faux fur shawl.

“What is that supposed to do?”

“Grandma, we’re going to be outside for like 5 minutes, the club will keep you warm! Joe will keep you warm,” she insisted, exasperated. Nikki laughed behind her and motioned you to sit down so she could do your hair.

You and Hazel continued to argue throughout the process before she shoved the dress in your arms, pushing you into the restroom and closing the door.

“Just try it on,” she yelled annoying.

Arguments between you and Hazel were rare, but when they did happen, they were usually over nothing serious. You took off your clothes and admired the dress hanging in front of you. It was beautiful, but with the weather outside, you couldn't imagine wearing it. As you slipped into the dress, you felt alluring, admiring how it hugged your curves. Curious about how much skin it revealed, you turned to look at your back and let out a gasp before quickly turning back around. This was the most revealing outfit you had ever worn, but you couldn't help feeling confident in it. Just as you heard a knock on the door, Hazel's voice asked for permission to come in.

“I fucking knew it,” she smirked and Nikki followed up behind her.

“You look so good,” Nikki gushed, causing you to blush.

“Let me do your make up,” Hazel commanded, motioning you to sit on top of the toilet.

“I appreciate you doing this for me,” you said, looking up at her gratefully.

“It's no problem at all,” she replied with a cheerful smile, as if your previous disagreement had never happened. Hazel loved how you were, but sometimes she wanted to push you out of your comfort zone. As she finished applying your makeup, she asked about your plans for the evening and informed you of some items she had discreetly slipped into your bag.

“I didn't know if you had packed condoms or if Ja'Marr had put some in Joe's bag, so I added some in the small pocket. I also saw what else you had packed in there,” she winked at you.

Before you could respond, Nikki walked into the room. “Justin just texted me that their flight landed.”

“Perfect timing,” Hazel exclaimed as she completed your makeup. Everyone quickly checked themselves in the mirror before grabbing their shoes and bags to head out.

“You can leave anything you want in the other room. Joe and I can bring it back on Monday,” you offered as they gathered their belongings and left the room with a thank you. You placed your bag on the bed and searched through its contents, finding the condoms and your vibrator in a small pocket. You set them on the bedside table, not sure if you needed them but wanting to have them just in case.

Returning to the living room, Hazel raised a shot glass to you. “It's going to be a great night,” she toasted.

You quickly downed your shot and slipped on your heels as Nikki announced that the Uber was arriving. You wrapped the shawl around your shoulders as you stepped out into the chilly night, giving Hazel a look before she hugged you and laughed.

The Uber dropped you off in front of the club, and you thanked the driver as you got out. Hazel walked ahead to talk to the bouncer, who asked to check your bags and IDs. She explained that the club still allowed those under 21 inside, but they would be marked so they couldn't buy drinks themselves. As you made your way inside, the place was already packed with other students.

“I’m going to get us drinks, stay here,” Nikki informed you, disappearing into the crowd. Hazel stood beside you, casually dancing to the music.

“We reserved the section up there for us and the guys,” she pointed out. You looked up and saw a few people scattered around the slightly empty area.

Nikki came back and handed everyone a drink. She started making her way to the bodyguard who allowed you guys upstairs. The second floor was quieter, with tables and couches spread out for guests. There was even a private bartender serving limited drinks. You took off your shawl and set it down with your purse on one of the couches as Hazel made her way around to greet everyone there. Standing by the railing, you watched people dancing below. Nikki joined you at the rail to watch with you.

Your heart raced as you saw Ja'Marr walk in, throwing a quick signal to the DJ. You heard Hazel laugh behind you as ‘Get the Gat’ started playing. You leaned against the rail and watched as the guys walked in and you saw him. He was dressed casually, in a black bomber jacket and white shirt underneath, jeans, and an LSU cap donned on his head. Smiling, you watched him greet people and dance as he weaved through the crowd. Ja'Marr looked up and saw you, smiling and jokingly pointing at Joe. You immediately turn to Hazel.

“I feel sick, I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Oh my god, you’re fine,” she said, grabbing your arms, “here, finish your drink.”

You took a sip of your drink and turned to see a group of people entering the space. Your heart started racing when you spotted Joe among them. As his eyes scanned the room, they locked with yours. You mouthed a small "hi" and couldn't stop smiling. Joe weaved through the crowd towards you and you noticed a delicate gold chain around his neck.

"What are you doing here? I thought you couldn't make it," he asked in disbelief, pulling you into a hug. Then he pulled back to get a better look at you.

“I just thought it would be nice to surprise you,” you admitted, watching how his eyes scanned over your body. He’s never seen you in anything like this and it made him forget about the party, and even winning the game tonight.

He led you over to one of the couches, briefly introducing you to a few people on the way. As he sat down, he pulled you right next to him and placed a hand on your thigh, gently rubbing it as he continued staring at you in your dress.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered as he squeezed your thigh and pressed his lips against yours hungrily. You were taken aback by his show of physical affection. He pulled away and looked at you with darkened eyes.

"Come on, man, we just got here," Justin joked, handing Joe a beer.

Joe just smiled and took a sip. You gently lifted the chain from around his neck and examined it closely

“When did you get this? It’s nice.”

“It was a gift from Justin and Nikki,” he answered.

“I like it,” you say placing the chain back on his chest. Joe's hand began to slowly trail up your thigh, causing you to give him a warning look that made him laugh. All he could think about was how gorgeous you looked and how badly he wanted everyone to leave so he could have you all to himself. You asked him about the game and listened as he excitedly recounted his best plays.

Hazel walked up, handing you and Joe a shot, “Congratulations,” she shouted. As you took your shots, you felt a warm buzz settle over you.

“I’m going downstairs to dance, did you guys want to come,” Hazel asked. Surprisingly you were eager to dance, but before you could respond, Joe shook his head.

"Have fun,” you called after her.

“I will,” she shot you a wink as Ja'Marr trailed behind her.

You and Joe laughed as you watched them walk away. A few songs passed, as people came to talk with Joe and congratulate him on the game. You guys were talking when you heard ‘Wild Thoughts’ come on.

“Just this one,” you pleaded.

You stood up and pulled Joe downstairs towards the dancefloor, persuading him to join you. The two of you made your way into the group, and you turned to face him. You swayed to the music, impressed by Joe's dancing. As the music pulsed through your body, you turned away from Joe and continued moving, feeling his hands wrap around your hips and pull you closer. With your hands on top of his, you moved together perfectly. Joe was unable to believe how amazing it felt to have you dancing against him like this.

You tilted your head up to meet his gaze and placed your hand on his cheek, pulling him down for a kiss. As the music changed, his hold on your hips tightened.

"Let’s go," you whispered in his ear. Joe glanced at his phone to check the time.

"Yeah, I think we've been here long enough," he agreed, eager to leave with you. "Let's grab your things and say goodbye to everyone real quick."

Together, you climbed the stairs to gather your belongings. Joe said goodbye to Ja'Marr and he mentioned the Airbnb they had arranged for both of you.

"I think it was the dress that did it, but who knows," Hazel teased, referencing your sudden departure. You laughed as you hugged her tightly before turning to hug Nikki.

"Will you let me know when you guys get home?" you asked.

"Of course, now go on, your ride is waiting," Nikki winks, pushing you towards Joe. He immediately took your hand and led you downstairs and out of the club towards his car.

————————————————————————————

"Oh, wow. This place is nice," Joe murmured as he looked around the room.

You locked the door behind you, feeling the lingering effects of alcohol wearing off. Your feet felt rooted to the ground as you watched him take in the surroundings. Joe leaned back against the couch, resting his hands on the backrest, and looked at you, waiting for you to say something.

"We watched the game here," you blurted out. You couldn't seem to shake off the nerves that had taken hold of you.

"Come here," Joe beckoned with a small wave, his voice low and smooth. Suddenly finding your footing again, you walked over to him.

"Why are you so nervous?" he murmured, one hand sliding down to rest on your waist while the other cupped your cheek,"Hmm?"

"I'm not," you whispered, feeling a slight jolt run through your body as his hands roamed down to your hips and then further down to your ass. You bit your lip, unable to tear your gaze away from his lips. All you wanted was to feel them on yours.

"Then kiss me," he smirked, raising an eyebrow in challenge. You leaned in closer, your lips now centimeters away from his.

"Not here," pulling away reluctantly, you took his hand and led him to the bedroom. Joe could feel himself growing harder with each step, anticipation coursing through his veins. He couldn't wait any longer.

You pointed towards the bed as you walked towards the restroom, indicating for Joe to sit down. "Yes ma'am," he responded playfully, watching as you disappeared into the bathroom.

In the restroom, you rummaged through your bag and pulled out a dark purple babydoll set. The sheer fabric left little to the imagination, with delicate lace flowers on the bra and a small bow in the center. The matching thong was simple, with a small bow on the waistband. Hazel had helped you pick it out, deeming it the perfect birthday present. As you slipped out of your dress and into the lingerie, you couldn't help but stare at yourself in the mirror. You could already imagine Joe's reaction when he saw you, his hands roaming over every curve of your body.

Joe had taken off his shoes and shirt, leaving only his pants on. He looked over at the nightstand and noticed a few condoms and a small toy that you had set out. Sitting back on the bed, he waited impatiently for you to come out of the restroom. Feeling a sense of urgency and desire, he lightly palmed himself through his pants.

"You couldn't wait for me," cooing playfully, you walked up to Joe with a sultry smile on your lips. He couldn't find any words as you placed your arms around his shoulders. Running a thumb over one of your nipples, he admired how the lace flowers covered your chest. "Keep this on," his voice was husky with desire as he lifted up the hem of your top and pulled down your panties in one swift motion.

He looked up at you with a mischievous look in his eyes, locking gazes as he ran his fingers over your clit and then slipping them inside you. You moaned as you tangled your fingers in his hair, unable to contain the pleasure rushing through your body. "I can't believe how wet you are. What's gotten you so worked up, baby?" Joe teased, his lips placing soft kisses on your stomach.

"Fuck, wait," you groaned, gripping onto his forearm, "I want to make you feel good first." Joe looked at you with a mixture of surprise and arousal as you got down on your knees. Biting his lip, he couldn't help but imagine how perfect your lips would look around him.

You demanded for him to stand up, your voice filled with a sense of urgency. You quickly unbuckled his belt and pants, eagerly pulling them down along with his underwear. Your hand wrapped around him, tracing the length of his size. Your thumb glided over the head, causing a slight hiss to escape his lips. You couldn't help but lick your lips in anticipation as you pressed your mouth against him, silently preparing yourself. As you took him in, the sound of a low groan escaped Joe's mouth, lost in the pleasure of the feeling of your tongue. You locked your eyes with him as you moved your head up and down his length. You wrapped a hand around the base, pumping him as you sucked. Joe's hands tangled themselves in your hair as he gripped onto it tightly. As he slowly thrust his hips, he whispered for confirmation if this was okay for you. With an eager nod, you resumed your actions, taking him deeper into your mouth and opening your legs wider to massage your throbbing clit.

As Joe increased the pace of his movements, tears threatened to spill from your eyes as he hit the back of your throat.

"Fuuuuck me, you’re doing so good" he groaned, overcome with sensations. Suddenly, he pulled away from you and stared at your teary eyes and spit covered mouth as you smiled up at him.

"I have to fuck you," Joe whispered urgently before pulling you up and throwing you onto the bed. He climbed on top of you and spread your legs open with his knee before reaching over to grab a condom. You informed him that you were already on birth control, but still wanted to respect his choices. You couldn't help but hope he would want to continue without one. He nodded and returned to you, letting you know that he was okay without one.

"Can I be on top?" you asked nervously, unsure if you were ready for him to fill you completely. Joe could only think about how lucky he was as he laid back and watched you straddle him. You guided him towards your aching core, feeling the intense fullness as you slowly slid down onto him. Gasping in pleasure, you took him all in and began to move up and down at a slow pace. Joe's hands squeezed your waist as you both relished in the feeling.

"Does it feel good? Are you okay?" he asked, always concerned about your pleasure and well-being. All you could do was nod, your movements becoming faster as you rocked forward to grind yourself against him. The fluttering in your chest grew more intense, overwhelmed by the pure pleasure and Joe's constant attention to your needs. As the pleasure continued to build, you couldn't help but express it.

"You're such a good boy, Joe," you moaned, increasing the speed. These words only added to Joe's own pleasure, unable to resist begging for more.

"Faster," he pleaded, trying to hold back from bucking his hips into yours too forcefully.

With a sly smirk, you slowed down once again and leaned your chest onto his, teasingly slowing down your movements yet again.

"Do you feel like you deserve it?" you whispered into his ear, sucking on his earlobe.

"Please," he whimpered in response, feeling helpless.

"Why?" you teased further, showering kisses along his jawline before lightly nipping at the skin underneath. His answer came out in a choked voice filled with desperation. "Because...I'm a good boy."

Joe let out a deep groan as he felt you clench around him. His hands focused on your thighs, rubbing them as you sat back up on top of him. He moaned in pleasure as you began to bounce up and down on his cock. He couldn't tear his eyes away from you, mesmerized by the way your body moved above him.

Desperately wanting to explore every inch of you, Joe reached up and pulled down the straps of your top, revealing your breasts for him to see. He couldn't help but feel intoxicated by the sight. Part of him wanted to take control and be on top, but he loved watching you on top of him.

Feeling overwhelmed with desire, Joe pulled you down towards him and wrapped his arms tightly around your torso.

"I need to be on top," he whispered huskily in your ear. Before you knew it, you were lying on your back with Joe hovering over you, his chain dangling close to your face.

You locked eyes with him as his lips found yours once again, his thrusts becoming deeper and more intense. You moaned into his mouth as he bottomed out inside of you, hitting all the right spots and making your body quiver in pleasure.

"It's like you were made for me," Joe whispered between kisses. Feeling a surge of desire, he grabbed one of your legs and threw it over his shoulder, eager to feel even deeper inside of you. He reached for the headboard, hoping to find some stability. Your eyes watched as he disappeared inside of you. They trailed up to drink in the sight of him, his eyes closed and bottom lip tucked into his mouth. You stared at his arm, watching the muscles flex as his grip on the headboard tightened.

As he thrusted into you, he would quickly grind against your clit. You were desperate for constant stimulation, so you reached over to the bedside table and grabbed your vibrator. Nervously, you motioned towards it.

"That's so sexy," he replied, slowing down his pace. You turned on the toy and pressed it against your clit, moaning as waves of pleasure washed over you.

Joe stifled a moan and his breathing became even heavier. He lowered himself onto you, wrapping one arm around your back and clutching your shoulder while using the other to support himself against the bed. The added pressure of his body against yours and his relentless thrusts had a growing ball of pleasure building up in your lower abdomen.

Confessing your thoughts to Joe, you admitted, "You're all I can think about when I do this to myself." Your mind was clouded as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the edge.

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," Joe groaned in response, his thrusts becoming even more erratic as he bit down on your shoulder. Your lower body started twitching with anticipation, feeling as if the climax was just within reach.

"I think I'm going to cum," you choked out, feeling the ball release and unravel inside of you. Joe couldn't even respond as he let out a low cry, releasing himself inside of you. Your back arched as you reached your high, the pleasure pulsing through every inch of you. As soon as it became too much to handle, you reached to remove the vibrator.

As you both came down from their highs, Joe's thrusts slowed down until he gently pulled out of you and rolled over onto his back. Breathing heavily, he placed one arm over his eyes while trying to catch his breath. You rolled over next to him, placing small kisses along his chest.

"Just give me a second," Joe laughed breathlessly.

Your hands slowly traced lines up and down his chest, feeling the rise and fall of his breath as goosebumps rose in their trail. Joe pulled you closer to him, his heart racing with a mix of emotions. He wanted to express just how amazing and special that moment was for him. How connected he felt to you, more deeply than he had ever felt with anyone else before.

"That was incredible. Thank you," you shared, breaking the silence. Joe's heart felt full at your sentiment.

“I can't even put into words how much that meant to me," he replied, placing a tender kiss on your forehead. Your body melted into his, feeling safe and warm in his arms.

As you listened to the steady rhythm of Joe's heartbeat, you noticed an odd feeling of liquid run down your thigh.

"I think I'm going to shower," you explained shyly, blushing as you pulled away from him.

"Let me help," he teased playfully, trailing behind you with a sly grin on his face.

previous | next

[beabnormal24]

Story time:

Last year I went with some friends to Rome for a concert and we stayed at an AirBnb.

For the check-in we went inside the owner’s little office, and as we chatted my eyes landed on some Carlos and Charles’ photos propped up on his shelves.

Since I’m an extrovert and I do not have any hair on my tongue, I smiled at him and said “ah, I see you’re fan as well! Forza Ferrari” or something like that.

The man followed my gaze, looked at the pictures and then shrugged. “That? I don’t even know who they are.”

And I don’t know what my face did but my friends started laughing like crazy and I was like “what the-“

And he said. “Yeah, there’s this girl who lived in my complex and she moved away after graduating because she started working for Ferrari. Her mother lives alone now so I help her from time to time and to thank me she gifts me this stuff that her daughter brings to her. But I don’t even know what they do and who they are, do you know them?”

And of course I started talking about Carlos Sainz and Charles Leclerc, Scuderia Ferrari Formula 1 drivers and the fact that in a bunch of weeks I would’ve gone to the Monza GP to see them live and everything. And he didn’t have any single clue about it.

At a certain point he looked at me all confused and said, “ah, so they drive. That explains why she got me these.” And I swear to God he just reached under his desk and pulled out a pair of signed racing boots (Charles’ if I remember correctly) and I gaped at them waiting for the floor the swallow me up because what the fuuuuuuuu-

My friend tried to coax him into gifting me one of their signed card since he had like five identical pairs of them but he refused - that’s how things go, I did not care that much in the end, and Charles signed my Ferrari cap at the Monza GP, anyway.

But to this day, it still is one of the craziest interactions I’ve ever had.

[lunarw0rks]

Gift Giving | Task Force 141 Headcanons

Summary: How I headcanon they give their S/O gifts 𓆩♡𓆪

Warning(s): established relationship, mild-suggestive content w/ Soap's, domestic!fluff | Word Count: 553

꒦꒷ MAIN MASTERLIST ꒷꒦ TF 141 MASTERLIST ⋆ ⚘ 🕊 ˚✧ ₊˚ʚ have a request?

Simon Riley

ੈ✩‧₊˚ He’s awful about giving physical gifts, so don’t expect a box with a pretty bow around it. When he does buy you something, it’s the little things. He sees no point in grandeur and never has. Often the physical gifts are placed somewhere you’ll find them long after he’s left for work, like on the kitchen counter or on your nightstand.

He gifts you things that can be kept within the walls of your house—a shirt you pointed at weeks before when you were window shopping or tickets to an event you’ve wanted to go to. God help you if you try to get him to come with you though, he’d rather stay in the car and wait for you.

When you bring up the gift or show your excitement about it, he’ll dismiss it at first, but behind the mask, he’s pleased with himself. ⋆·˚ ༘ *

Soap MacTavish

ੈ✩‧₊˚ A vast difference between him and Simon. He won’t make things over the top, but he’s not afraid to be in public. He loves when the two of you can go out to dinner somewhere decent, although he’s not opposed to a bar.

He loves small gifts that aren’t explicitly romantic—a bracelet or piece of clothing he’d want you to wear when he’s away. But, if you’re into it, possibly some lingerie or perfume he wants you to wear next time you two are alone. ⋆·˚ ༘ *

John Price

ੈ✩‧₊˚ He struggles with what to get you, especially if there’s a bit of an age gap.

Most likely he’d keep it old-fashioned with a piece of jewelry, or maybe set you up for a spa day or something. If he’s truly stumped, he’d probably hand you his card and let you buy something for yourself.

“Your card? Really, John?”

“It was either that or a box of cigars…” ⋆·˚ ༘ *

Kyle/Gaz

ੈ✩‧₊˚ Being on the younger side of the others, he’s better at shopping for his S/O. Hoodies, jewelry, dinner at a new hotspot. When he’s away for long, he’d make sure to Facetime/call as often as he could, planning what you two want to do together when he’s back.

If he was really serious about pampering you, he’d rent an Airbnb for the week and enjoy being away from it all with you. ⋆·˚ ༘ *

Alejandro Vargas

ੈ✩‧₊˚ His most common gift to you would be a night of relaxation. Not a foot set in the kitchen while he cooks, nor will you help him clean up after either. He doesn’t have a lot of time to go out with you, so if he can give you a special night at home, he’s satisfied with that.

You’ll probably be eating the best food you’ve ever tasted, and then watching a movie/show on the couch until you both slip into a food coma.

If it’s ever a physical item, he’d get something custom-made—like an engraved watch or necklace personalized for you. ⋆·˚ ༘ *

Kate Laswell

ੈ✩‧₊˚ A true romantic at heart—quite formal with her gifting.

Wine tasting, visiting an art museum, or if you’d rather be outdoors, going sailing with you during her time away from work. Aside from destinations, she would definitely get you some sort of jewelry you could match with her, that way a piece of you is always with her when she’s away. ⋆·˚ ༘ *

[jasfhercallejo]

The remote island of Siquijor is unique – not only in the Philippines, but the whole of South East Asia, renowned since ancient times as a centre of witchcraft, magic and folk healing.

Siquijor has the distinction of being the mystical island of the Philippines, a name the province may have earned through numerous tales of supernatural superstitions that originated here. This province has always been at the forefront of conversations when it comes to sorcerers, witches and other mythical creatures that would lure you to their place for you to never come home again.

The reputation of Siquijor as a melting pot of everything that’s creepy has become its calling card, for better or for worse. I didn’t believe any of these stories, especially because I really love traveling to places I haven’t been to.

Our stay in Siquijor started with our stay in this Airbnb. We arrived at night, and did have a hard time looking for this place, only to find out that it is near the port, and only a few minutes away.

We spent 4 days in Siquijor and a day in Dumaguete, which we feel like is plenty of time to see the highlights of the islands. If you are looking to explore places close to where you are staying, and you do not want the responsibility of driving, there are many Tricycles driving around. You can simply flag one down, let them know where you want to go and ask how much. There is no consistency in prices for Tricycles and drivers often make a price up on the spot, so definitely make sure to barter and agree on a price before getting on.

Enormous faith has traditionally been placed in the abilities of the island's healers – so much so that Siquijor is beginning to attract the attention of visitors far beyond the Philippines and the country's diaspora. Siquijodnons, as islanders are known, regularly visit the mananambal instead of a regular doctor. The key part of their treatment is the prescription of homemade herbal medicines. They make all kinds of natural remedies from the 300 or so medicinal plants that grow on the island. The abundance of curative vegetation is likely why folk healing has been so important to island life for centuries.

We did not miss the chance to experience some healing through their "tuob" ritual, a form of fumigation believed to dispel sickness and fend off bad spells. They put a small pot filled with ashes and oil under a stool and lit it. Then, they draped us in a soft yellow blanket, trapping the warmth within. The smoke billowed as it enveloped us. Then, they uncovered us and rubbed us with a healing mixture, kneading our back with a prayer.

I felt like different person after the healing session.

As we left the province, I realized if there was anything supernatural or enchanted about Siquijor, it must be its picturesque gifts from nature. I never encountered any lurking ghost or any scary natural beings. With many people fearing the place, Siquijor may have become one of the best kept secrets in the Philippines as a travel destination for its tranquil tourist spots and hidden gems.

Siquijor is undoubtedly the most enchanting place I’ve been to in my life. 

[fuwaprince]

hey are you still with us?

Yes. I'm still alive. Doing my best to do better. Struggling with finding a place to rest. If anybody could please spare me an Airbnb gift card I might actuality be able to collect myself. I'm reaching a frustrating point. On my period and dealing with issues no person really should.. it happens tho. Please help if you can. It's hot as shit. It's raining at the same time. Anything helps. I just can't access my bank account since I had to lock it after it was stolen. I'm scared to be overly reliant on people for the time being but I really need the help. Doing what I can for myself isn't enough. My reissued cards take weeks to come in. I'm really screwed otherwise

[alpineshift]

24. “Don’t say that to me. That’s not fair.” Please?

But like Jack can’t take a compliment and Nico loves to tease because Jack gets all shy/squirmy/whiny about it?

are you in my brain? I love this 🤩 I haven't tapped into Nico's youngest sibling energy much so here's him being a menace to "I'm so serious please take me seriously" middle child Jack LOL

24. “Don’t say that to me. That’s not fair.”

With summer wedding season upon them, it's the usual hustle and bustle of collecting gifts at the last minute, hastily rewording the same message into a bunch of different cards, and shuffling suits around their closet so they're not wearing the same thing three times in a row.

Well, Nico's doing the shuffling. Jack's being a smug little shit because he finally met up with the tailor his uncle recommended and got a whole stash of new, bespoke suits, so he's in the clear.

Nico's lounging in the living area of the airbnb they've rented, trying to fill out a card to Jack's cousin and his soon-to-be-wife, and he's slowly becoming aware of Jack moving in and out of the bedroom, testing out the new suits and its fits.

He puts his pen down and watches on, taking in the perfect cut of each suit, the new patterns and colours on display, the cute furrow between Jack's brows as he holds up different ties and pocket squares to match.

He finally catches on to Nico's not-at-all subtle staring and raises his eyebrows, shooting Nico a what look through the mirror.

"Carry on," Nico grins, propping his chin up on his hand. Jack gives him a questioning look, spinning around.

"No--you were staring. Why are you staring? Is my vest on wrong or something?"

"Nothing's wrong. I'm just admiring my incredibly handsome boyfriend wearing nice suits."

Jack snorts, rolling his eyes. "Alright, Casanova. Whatever."

"I like the taper in the leg on this one," Nico continues, letting his gaze roam unabashedly over Jack's legs, then lingering on his ass. "Fits you like a glove."

"Shut up," Jack says, but the tips of his ears and the apples of his cheeks are red now. He tosses one of the ties aside and holds up another, this one a clear, sea-foamy blue-green.

"That's nice. Matches your eyes. Really brings out your eyes."

"Shut up, Nico."

"Actually, I like the pattern on the first suit. Could I see it again?"

"It's just a suit, Nico, quit chirpin'," Jack huffs, now determinedly avoiding his eyes. Nico hides his smile and lopes over to his boyfriend, puts his hands on his waist, and hooks his chin over Jack's shoulder. He smells nice, like the new body wash he's started using.

"Your tailor really got your measurements down. I love the flare on the sides--" a squeeze, "--the fit of the jacket on your shoulders. I'm gonna have to fight off all your admirers with a hockey stick for the rest of summer. Do you have any idea how good you look?"

"Don't say that to me. That's not fair," Jack whines, finally breaking, trying to wriggle out of Nico's hold. Nico just laughs, clinging tighter. The two of them grapple and stagger around the room until Jack tips onto the couch, landing with a flop amongst the cushions.

Nico takes his chance, leaning in to land a smacking kiss on Jack's cheek. That earns him a squawk of protest, a tug to his hair, and then Jack's hands on his face, thumbs smoothing over his jawline. He's red all over, hair a mess against the pillows, and Nico wants to eat him up.

"Can't help myself, baby, you look incredible. You're just gonna have to put up with my flirting and compliments for the rest of time."

[roo-bastmoon]

BTS TUTORIAL: Tickets to Concerts

UPDATES NOW IN ORANGE BELOW!

So you wanna see BTS in person? Who doesn’t! That would be so dope.

Let’s chat about it.

Whew, okay, as a toddler ARMY, I worry I’m biting off more than I can chew with this one, because I’ve never been to a BTS concert. But since friends have been giving me good advice about trying for tickets to Yoongi’s tour, I will take a crack at it, share what I have heard, just in case it’s helpful.

So far, the only BTS-related concert we know of for 2023 is Suga’s Solo Tour.

In order to buy tickets, you have to jump through several hoops:

First, you better have an active ARMY membership. Deadline for that (for this concert) is past but you should still get one anyway.

Next, you will have had to apply for ARMY PRESALE. You gotta do this on both Weverse—which will give you a confirmation code/QR—and then you gotta do it again on Ticketmaster.

DO NOT FORGET TO PUT YOUR ARMY MEMBERSHIP ID NUMBER INTO TICKETMASTER.

This will allow you to ENTER INTO A LOTTERY to try for tickets.

IF you win this lottery, you will get an email on the evening of Tuesday, February 28th giving you a special login code for tickets during ARMY presale.

ARMY presale goes live on March 1st at 3pm your local venue’s time.

Research your venue ahead of time so you know the seating arrangement and tiers, in case you have preferences about where you sit.

I have no idea which seats are “good” seats for a stadium (some have a single stage set up at one end, some have ramps or multi mini-stages in the middle). I hear that standing by the front or barricade is really loud and intense so know your limits.

UPDATE:

Go ahead and log in to your Ticketmaster account now and put in TWO debit or credit cards (or gift cards). One as your primary; one as your backup in case something goes wonky. Save that info in your PAYMENT OPTIONS so you won't waste time plugging in numbers the day you want to buy.

On the day of the ticket sale, get onto the site at least ten minutes before the tickets are released, then refresh the page no more than 10 seconds before the release time to improve your chances of getting to the front of the queue. For example, if tickets go on sale at 3pm on a Wednesday, hop on the Ticketmaster site at 2:50pm, then refresh the page 10 seconds before 1pm.

You will then be entered into a queue along with a max of another 2,000 people. There could be 200,000 other people ahead of you, but YOUR cohort of 2,000 will be automatically queued and you can do nothing but wait for your turn.

DO. NOT. REFRESH. ONCE. IN. QUEUE. You will lose your place.

Stay in queue, deep breaths, and wait for your turn, then let the Hunger Games begin.

You want to take a few seconds to pick your seats, then check out IMMEDIATELY.

Note: if you are not handicapped, please leave seats marked WC (wheelchair) and the ones next to them (for companions) to those who truly need them.

You can only purchase up to 4 seats per lottery code, unless as a group you get an agent and try to purchase a box ahead of Presale, but those cost thousands of dollars and there is a waiting list and I have no idea how you actually get that done.

If by some miracle there are tickets left over from ARMY’s special presale, the following day opens to general presale. Then tickets go on sale to the public the day after that. (But we all know they are gonna sell out completely in minutes, and then after that there will be online trading and mark ups and whatnot.)

For step-by-step info, checkout Ticketmaster’s post here:

If you got tickets, the next thing you’ll want to do is book travel and accommodations immediately because mark-ups will skyrocket. Look for safe and well-rated hotels, motels, Airbnb, etc., in walking distance if possible.

Things to consider:

Can you take a bus or train to the area to save on airfare? How are you going to eat? Food at the venue will cost a lot but taste cheap. How are you getting to the venue if everyone is competing for cabs? Do you have a safe and non-obvious place to hide your cash on your person?

These are logistics you’ll want to play out thoroughly before your concert (Roo says, having never been to a popular music concert because she’s a giant musical theater nerd who only goes to the symphony—but this is what my older ARMY friends tell me.)

If you’re part of a community with fellow ARMY traveling to your concert site, it’s always a good idea to meet up and travel together (strength in numbers). Also check the rules of your venue to see if you need to use a clear plastic bag or if cell phones are not allowed, that sort of thing.

A lot of times ARMY are kind enough to bring freebies and giveaways, like stickers or crafts and such. Sorry to “Mom” you guys, but, please think twice before eating or drinking anything that a stranger hands you. If it comes it original brand packaging, cool. Otherwise, maybe don’t risk it. Not that ARMY has a history of poisoning or drugging people but, ya know, stranger danger.

Finally, it’s cool to bring posters and banners and things to hold up during certain moments in the concert when cameras pan to that—but please don’t block others’ views behind you. ARMY are supposed to be considerate and polite. Tickets and travel are expensive; don't ruin others' experiences.

Folks also say that you’ll likely experience a post-concert “high” and then a “drop.” So maybe have some self-care on hand. Make sure you have ways to hydrate. Bring some Kleenex and throat lozenges. Have a soothing playlist at the ready for when you try to sleep that night. Enjoy every ounce of it and then build in some time to decompress. Plan something fun to look forward to soon after.

This is now the extent of my knowledge when it comes to preparing for concerts.

I’m gonna try for tickets for Newark on the 29th but it’s my first time ever doing anything of the sort, so I’m prepared for the likelihood I won’t get one of the 16,000 seats available that one night. If that’s the case, I will try not to be too disappointed—I figure it’ll help me save on travel and accommodations in case Jimin ever decides to tour on this side of the world.

In any case, should you ever find yourself trying to go to a BTS concert, please share tips and tricks and have a good time.

May the odds be ever in your favor.

DISCLAIMER:

I am a Dope Old Person and have been ARMY since January 2022. So I still have a lot to learn.

I’m making mini-tutorials for people like me who are comfy with technology but totally new to voting, streaming, and buying Kpop stuff.

If you know of better, more up-to-date information, please comment or DM me so I can make sure I’m not spreading misinfo. Please be polite; we are on the same team!

Feel free to apply whatever you learn here to other BTS members and other artists; I’m Jimin-biased so I am focused on helping Jimin at this moment in time, but I’m OT7 so rest assured I’ll put my shoulder to the wheel for all our members!

[nancypullen]

This Time Tomorrow...

I'll be slogging through airport security. But shortly after that I'll be flying through the sky in a chair (doesn't that sound magical?) and eventually landing in Paris.

We'll leave Baltimore around 5pm, connect at JFK, and fly overnight into beautiful Paris. Not going to lie, that first day will be rough. It will be noonish in France when we land. Once we get through passport control and claim our luggage we're catching a 3pm train to Strasbourg. The train ride is about an hour and 45 minutes. Once we arrive in Strasbourg our AirBnB is about a 4 minute walk from the train station...if you're not a 61-year-old zombie. So we'll be arriving at our lodging around 5 o'clock. I promise you that I'll be finished with the day by then. Maybe, just maybe, this will be the trip where I sleep like a baby on the plane and arrive refreshed. There's always a chance, right? But I'm betting on pure exhaustion by the time we unlock the door to our little French abode. As excited as I am about this trip, getting that day out of the way is the first hurdle. So we depart on the evening of the 7th, and the 8th will just be arrival and sleep. Then the adventure begins. I'll take you along to enchanting Alsatian villages and whatever else we discover along the way. BUT...before any of that happens I'm puttering around the house, making sure everything is ready for the cat sitter and for our return. I need to mention that after 42 years of being the only one who did any of that, Mr. Pullen has decided that he will actively participate in all of that fun. He's been tidying, laying in kitty supplies, etc. I don't know what to do with myself when half my chore list is already checked off. This is fun. I've had time to even clean up garden areas for fall (even though it's 80 degrees, yuck!). Remember that German Pink tomato plant that gave me an ulcer this summer? I babied the heck out of that thing and it bloomed like crazy but never produced fruit. I finally just completely ignored it, and now it has eight beautiful tomatoes on it.

Of course. Maybe they'll be perfect in two weeks when we're home, maybe the whole plant will be dead. I waited all summer and now I don't care anymore. Stupid plant. Probably should have waited to take the photo until after I pulled that big ol' weed. Whatever.

Oh! Before I forget, I received an email asking how the clay ghosts turned out that I made in early September (I think?). Eh, mixed results. The candy corn ghost is okay, looks fine with a little battery-powered votive underneath. He's sitting out with some other Halloween decor, doing his job.

The little ghost that I decided to dress in a patchwork quilt is another story. The quilt squares were just okay, but I could live with it, but then I ruined the whole dang thing because I painted his eyes too close together. He has issues.

I kept him in my craft room because I felt bad for doing that to him. We're friends now.

In other news, I was clearing photos out of my phone (100 flower pictures...why??) because I anticipate taking loads of photos on this trip. I came across some fun snaps of birthday gifts...

look at these beautiful sterling silver Scottish thistle earrings, purchased with an Etsy gift card.

I love them! A nod to my heritage, but also just pretty.

Then there was this picture of a luggage tag that I'm tickled with and, yes, I'm just that boring.

It's heavy duty acrylic, and on a metal loop, so super durable - not likely to be torn off, and it's SO CUTE. I covered my phone number because I don't want any calls from weirdos. Another Etsy purchase.

With that same Etsy gift card I found mosaic supplies that I plan to experiment with this winter (I'm excited!) and even this adorable glass tumbler that makes me smile every morning when I drink my protein shake.

And wait until you see this duo!

Not only is that a treasure of a travel journal with perfect prompts...

...but that little pink case is a TINY PHOTO PRINTER!

I've got an app on my phone, so I can select a photo and send it to the little printer with one touch. It prints a picture of excellent quality, and I can peel the back off and stick it right into my travel journal! Holy cow! These were all birthday gifts from people that I love, so they're already special - but man, do they know me well or what? I'm still wallowing around in the birthday love and I've been 61 for 11 days already. I even received flowers. Isn't it always the loveliest surprise when the doorbell rings and there are flowers on the other side? They arrived before my birthday and at the end of the first week some of the most delicate blooms were fading. I always just start plucking out the dying blooms and shrink the bouquet until I have a single stem and some greenery left. I just snapped this - the bouquet is down to about half its original size, and I fear I'll have to say goodbye to it. I may reduce it to just a few flowers and leave a pretty bouquet for the cat sitter. I can't toss them.

When I receive flowers I always try to place them where I'll enjoy them/see them the most. Often I'll move them room to room. These started out on the dining room table, and moved to my craft room on the days I spent hours in there. I love fresh flowers in the house.

So I've rambled from tomatoes to bag tags and have probably bored you stiff. Take heart, I'll soon have beautiful photos to share from fairytale villages. The weather forecast concerns me - the temps look fantastic, but there are a handful of days where we may see rain. I don't want a repeat of my Irish hair.

I don't care about the 8th, that's mostly a travel day. I'm hoping that those other drizzly days clear off in a hurry.

There's not a thing I can do about the weather, so I'm not going to worry about it. Brace yourself, France.

Alrighty kids, I'm outta' here. I need to check my list and make sure I have everything ready before we make our escape. You won't hear from me before the 9th, unless I can't sleep at all on the 8th - then you may get a posting from the wee hours. Until then, sending you loads of love. Stay safe, stay well. Adieu! Au revoir! XOXO, Nancy P.S. I have discovered that our Paris AirBnB at the end of the trip is in the 7th arrondissement, the same as Ina Garten's apartment! I may have found out that her building is on Boulevard Raspail, right across from a fabulous fresh market. Stalker? Who, me? Hey, I just want to pose in front of her building, I don't think she's even there. I did download her autobiography, Be Ready When the Luck Happens, so she's already traveling with me.

[littleoblivions]

so my company was also doing a raffle for like super dope prizes like a $2000 delta gift card and $2000 airbnb gift card etc. i of course did not won but thank god one of the top-paid people at the company fucking did! 🙃

[mearcatsreturns]

i am deeply regretting agreeing to take time off work to go to texas for my aunt’s and uncle’s 50th anniversary celebration/family reunion that i leave for in two days. 

my extended family on my paternal side is. how do i say this. not great. maybe i’m being unfair--it certainly isn’t all of them. maybe i’m autistic and don’t understand unspoken rules, but to me the last few days have been unhinged behavior?

i decided to try to go, because it’s been 3 years since i’ve seen most of them (ie the length of my grad program). for background, when i go, i typically stay at my aunt’s and uncle’s and sleep on a couch in the boathouse or in one of the bunks in the bunk room. i usually help do dishes and things like that since i don’t pay anything. i am not wealthy (especially a couple months out from finishing grad school...i work two part-time jobs and still scrounge), and about half of my family is. going to this was a stretch for me, but i thought it would be good. one of my cousins sent me a text when planning started for the celebration, which said: 

please note that nothing about that mentioned payment or fees, especially since she owns that house. none of our subsequent texts mentioned it. we’re family, i figured i would just help out around keeping things clean, and i bought two nice bottles of wine from my one job that i was going to give her as a guest gift. 

then yesterday, i got a text from one of my other aunts, K (not the one whose anniversary it is...my dad’s parents were catholic. it’s a big family), to me and a couple of other numbers i didn’t know. basically, a “hey, you don’t have anywhere to stay, i found this airbnb nearby. it will costs $2000 for 4 days, and split between 4, that’s $500 each!” i. uh. i was about to throw up. i texted my cousin and was like “just wanted to touch base, i’m staying at your place, right?” 

she replied and said “hey, sorry, we filled the place up! you can probably stay with K!” like??? i told her i’d heard from K, but i couldn’t afford the option she sent me (genuinely, I am taking off unpaid time from work to go here, after buying a plane ticket. I cannot do half my rent for 4 days in Texas in July. that is crazy.) at this point I panicked and called my dad, because truly, I was going to need to cancel if I had to pay something like that. i talked to my dad, and he basically said, “don’t worry about it, we’ll figure something out, but yeah, this is usually why we stay on host aunt and uncle’s trailer across the street...it’s free.” so I texted my aunt K, politely thanking her for finding that place but that I can’t afford it, but my dad was going to help me find somewhere, and said I was looking forward to seeing her (she is not the problem, this is none of her business, and she was doing her best). i was upset, but willing to be like “okay, right, i’m related to a bunch of rich people who want to charge family to stay with them over a holiday weekend,” so i was already less excited, but still ok. i played some video games about it, and i figured i’ll just accept that i’m going to be in some uncomfortable hole for the time i’m there. 

then this morning, I had another text from my cousin. 

I did the heart thing because I genuinely didn’t know how to respond, and I still don’t know where to start. (a) this is so unnecessary, since I’m not staying with her anymore. why did you feel like you had to send this? (b) uh. you should maybe consider mentioning expectations like that when you invite people to stay with you. I did, as I previously mentioned, get some nice wine (and I work at a wine room) as a gift--that, in my experience, has been a pretty decent host gift in the past. (c) putting a vacation on a credit card when you don’t have the money or a pay bump coming to know you’ll be able to pay it off? UNHINGED. poor financial advice, and i’m sure if I’d done that, I’d get “hmm, is that fiscally responsible :/” bullshit. It’s not. I refuse to buy things I can’t afford? like? she then tried to make it better being like “I also have weed :D” and ngl, my first instinctual response (that I kept inside) was “oh, how much were you going to charge me for that? is it by puff or mg?” 

anyway. I don’t know if it’s undiagnosed autism to expect things like financial expectations to be discussed and communicated, or if they’re just being some kind of White Person Way. this isn’t the first time money-related things have happened, but the last time was a decade ago and with an entirely different person (who I have since had a strained relationship with). I have genuinely lost so much desire to interact with most of my family? if this is familial love, I’ll pass and find my own family, thanks. I can’t imagine inviting someone, then charging them for a couch or bed? this is insane, right?

[divisionten]

Artemis Fowl Escape Room

Note: this was originally posted to Kotaku, but a number of my old articles there were destroyed after they purged whole sections of the site.

I’ve been very good friends with one of my former classmates for almost 20 years. He’s a massive Artemis Fowl fan (as am I, though I didn’t grow up with it like he did) so, when I found a signed copy of the book for his Christmas gift, I knew I couldn’t just give it to him. He’d have to be Artemis... and steal it.

NOTE: I paid for it. Please don’t steal books, and support your favorite artists. :D

Not just steal it, steal it from his own past self. Artemis Fowl follows the Doctor Who school of wibbly wobbly timey wimey... stuff.

BUDGET AND MATERIALS

First and foremost, I had just over a week to figure out

a) my budget and

b) how the puzzles would flow from one to another

Budget wise, I wanted to spend less than $50, which meant I needed to get creative with props. I own a Cricut, so I could make some very professional looking custom textiles, stickers and cards/paper items, and had a massive amount of sticker vinyl already on hand. I work for an electronics company, and do hobbyist Arduino, so I also already have lots of wire, batteries, some modules, and a few completed robots I could cannibalize. Lastly, I also have a large stock of cosplay items (wigs, costumes, fabric, foam) lying around. I know most people wouldn’t have this on hand, but if you’re planning on making an escape room, look at what YOU already have. Maybe you have power tools, or maybe you’re good at designing quick websites. You probably also have more than eight days to come up with an entire escape room game too, but the idea came to me AFTER I found his gift.

Lower Elements Police shirts for my friend’s wife, my friend, and myself of Wing Commander Vinyáya, Extremely Irritating Human Fowl, and Captain Short. Materials cost for all three was between $15 and $25- I have leftover heat vinyl i can use on another project, and a cool new shirt for myself to boot.

As far as things that lock, all I have is a locking mailbox, and a small key locker (like the kind used by some AirBnB to store a key outside a house). None of the doors within my house lock. So, I knew I’d definitely use the mailbox and key locker SOMEHOW, but I also needed something big and safe enough to hold the book.

Like... a safe. I bought an extremely cheap one on Amazon for $12.

I also spent another $8 on some concentric stacking boxes to start the hunt.

From there, my puzzle flow began writing itself. “Artemis” would need to do two things-

Find the location of the safe.

Discover the safe combo.

I’m already building a full jumpsuit out of scuba neoprene and copious amounts of cursing, but for now, this’ll do. Also, yes, I’m aware I wrote it in English and not Gnomish. Sue me.

Since things tend to go in threes, I split the puzzles into three quest lines, and started filling in the blanks with puzzles.

Lastly, to sweeten the deal, I decided to raid my cosplay drawers (and my heat transfer materials) to make an EXTREMELY low budget Holly Short cosplay (homemade shirt for me, plus my Kino goggles, Elena Fisher thigh pouch, my exercise armband, 13th doctor boots, Dipper/Hiccup wig, and some cheap elf ears), plus shirts for my friend and his wife, above.

The last thing I did was convince another very close friend (and actor) to call in as tactical support (aka the escape room hint helpline) as the Artemis Fowl books’ equivalent of Q, a very condescending centaur named Foaly. I sent him the full set of puzzles I’d written with solutions (and changed his name in my caller ID), so he could berate “Artemis” and offer hints or solutions should my friend get stuck.

START OF THE HUNT: Open concentric boxes, and get scolded by Artemis Fowl

I set up three boxes, each smaller than the other, with 3 codes (Gnomish, Centurian, and the Eternity Code) on the inside lid of of each box, nested in each other and wrapped.

The smallest box contains only an invitation to begin the game.

-To Myself:

It has come to my attention that there may be an issue. If you’ve gotten this, that means you’ve lost your memory- and, by extension, MY memory.

For safekeeping of my own mind, I’ve taken great pains to hide pieces of my own memories with friends and various acquaintances. Do yourself a favor and find the original document the People wrote on me those years ago. You’ll know it when you see it.

I hope.

You’re me, which means you’re too smart for me to wish you good luck. Just go and find the high school bags of three of our former friends. They should point you in the right direction.

- A. Fowl Jr.

There’s also a sheet of instructions.

Holly:

I hope this finds you in good health. I’m worried. I’ve had my mind wiped before, and it probably will again in the future. I don’t think you’ll be the ones who do it- you learned last time I’m a bit too smart for you.

In case someone more... unsavory, like that maniac pixie does something to me, I leave instructions on how to help jog my memory.

· In the residence with the People’s files, I’ll leave two clue trials. There will be three clues leading to the location of the People’s file. These will be tied with gold ribbon. And three more, with green, on the actual combination to said safe. Only I will be smart enough to put that information together, and I’ll need all six total to have enough to remember both the location and combination.

· Foaly and you will be indispensable. Please help where you can.

· If a door is closed or locked, unless a clue I’ve left behind specifically says to open it, it can stay closed. The same can be said for drawers and closets. You know me. I don’t like getting my hands dirty more than necessary.

· On that note, if a clue requires any sort of brute force, it’s wrong. I can’t assume Butler will be there to assist. You have my express permission to smack me upside the head of this and remind me I’m a planner; physical activity is hardly my strength.

· I may have seeded the internet (very well, I HAVE seeded it) with my own history lest I forget something like Butler’s first name or other personal information. Remind me to look up things online should I need to be reminded of family history.

· Everything needed to get my memory back is located on-site, but it may not all be indoors.

Thank you, Holly. I trust you to hold this until needed. I only hope that day never comes.

A.F. ii

The next three quests could be done in any order, and involve searching three bags I use for cosplay. I picked characters my friend was familiar with, so, while I do own a really nice Kaede backpack from Danganronpa v3, I didn’t use it, as my friend has only played the first game.

PERSONA 5 QUESTLINE: First combo lock clue/safe clue

The FIRST of THREE clues to the safe and lock starts with searching JOKER’s bag. A note from the Phantom Thieves is contained within, with the following text:

Hey, Dullahan (still your code name, right? Skull mentioned you might have had a change of heart). Been a while. You asked us to steal your heart for safekeeping, so we did. We only took a piece, though, so just follow the trail and you’ll be just fine; check the pillowcases; Mona’s always whining I need more sleep. Oh yeah, the first piece of it is in the Recon officer’s hands. Maybe they’re willing to TRADE for it? You might want to POKE them about it. Gotta GO- we’ve got more work to do. Sakurai invited me to some kind of tournament. -Joker

Trade Pokémon in Pokemon Go

I have a Pokémon to trade, an Unown. It’s an X, named MarksTheSpot.

Crack Joker’s cipher

Inside the pillowcase is a dossier, with a puzzle:

xM fW qF xO zJ kO xN cC lR jK xA gR xC xA gH oO eE xS xE rF wV xD oR eE fR oO xT fV eE xH oO rF jG xE tB kE iN oW xH aA xO oM kK oO xU gU oD oR xS qA aV oF nE xE tT oR xW uG oD wE xA nU wE rD nU cC xY nE oF xT fV xO wI kE rD xO jE xE kR fV iN xA oT iF rT xS nV rS xY aE nE oE iF nE xT nG mE oW xO uN eD jR uT xL kX hT nB xO eE qA xO nN jU xT nR kE xW cX bB oS cD nE eF xH sV dE xO eB bR xM jW qN dE kX vY xA iW bE xK dD wB jE xE iW oW xS eW aH cR iF xT lE xH dS lW nO iS xE fF xI jE kR xR yY uR fG xH nE rR xA xL uB uG oK pQ bR xL xM jE bR xA sI aQ zX xS sS bJ iR yG xT wI bU qR xE uD kR xR xL aY zU iJ vR rH xO aN eT xC gW cO lW qI xK rD uG xK kE rD xE oN nF oL wC xY uH uE oG xC qE xO jR fF xM rU gG oN xB wN oF xO oB qJ yB xT iX eQ kW sO sS hE iS xH oK lE xR kR iE fF xE wR qI uH xE iD fS xZ mU sT yE xE uV hY xR jR kN xO gO aN dQ nE xE rD aD xS iG zZ oW nT sS iE xA rR kR xN dR oO xD yX fR oO xA wE oF nU vR xO sE vR xN kR kZ xE

Finding only the letters with an X before them [X “MarksTheSpot”, remember?] leaves:

M O N A C A S E D T H E H O U S E W A Y T O O E A S Y T O L O O T W H O M A K E S T H E I R H A L L M A S T E R L O C K K E Y C O M B O T H R E E Z E R O E S A N D A O N E

Or:

Mona cased the house. Way too easy to loot. Who makes their hall masterlock key combo three zeroes and a one?

The Hall Keypad

Putting 0001 into the hall keypad will slide open a small lock containing a key to the mailbox outside as well as a folded-up paper.

First Safe Combo Clue (in Gnomish):

The paper contains the following

THE LARGEST SAFE NUMBER IS EVEN

The Mailbox

The mailbox contains the first safe location clue:

TO FIND THE SAFE/ THAT YOU MUST CRACK/ ASSEMBLE TWO MORE PAPERS/ AND SEARCH THE LOWEST RACK

Joker’s puzzle line has been completed.

DANGANRONPA QUESTLINE: Second combo lock clue/safe clue

The SECOND of THREE clues to the safe and lock starts with searching MAKOTO’s bag. A note from him is contained within, with the following text:

I HOPE THIS BAG MADE IT OUT OKAY. I THINK STICKING IN A DEACTIVATED MONOKUMA HELPED… WELL, MOSTLY DEACTIVATED. YOU MIGHT WANT TO CHECK ITS INSIDES, JUST TO BE SURE. AND… UM… DON’T BLOW UP.

“Deactivate” Monokuma

I’m not that easy to get rid of, kiddo. You n’ me. One round. Who’s a better liar, do you think? I want to know… All About You.

A homemade plush Monokuma is in the bag (who also opens his mouth and talks, when squeezed), unzipping the rear compartment is a piece of paper punctured with a You Don’t Know Jack pin and the above message.

The Mysterious Fourth Player

There’s a Jackbox pin attached to the note, signaling to play the Jackbox game All About You.

The three of us log in, and it won’t be streamed on twitch. But a fourth player joins, named MONOKUMA (it’s my friend who is playing Foaly, as I discreetly gave him the room code). He answers as normal (or like Monokuma might), but when it comes to the one-truth-one-lie section he lists the following:

Truth: An alien left you a snack in the fridge.

Lie: Artemis will never regain his memory.

This will lead “Artemis” to search the refrigerator, where a Tardis confection will be waiting.

The Doctor’s Orders

Breaking open the candy TARDIS will have a hastily scrawled note by the Doctor.

I’ve done lots of travel in my day… lots. Grab my screwdriver off the bookshelf (the OLDER one), and go find my old friend Ford’s journal. I know it’s still there. And check out the inside of the back. It’s exposure to the Chameleon Circuit should translate language, but it won’t crack codes in your own. One’s translated then, and the other… well you wrote that code, so good luck.

Using the 10th doctor’s sonic screwdriver on the last page of Gravity Falls’ Journal 3 (two references my friend IMMEDIATELY groked) will reveal a black light message:

The Eternity Code

The Eternity Code (written by Artemis in the third novel) is blocks of lines to make letters. If its too hard to read with the sonic/invisible ink, “Artemis” can peel off the tape and find a printout underneath, which may be a little easier to navigate.

THE SAFE COMBINATION HAS NO DUPLICATE NUMBERS

And folded up with it is an “old newsprint article”

Root’s Obituary

IN MEMORY.

Today, thousands gathered to witness Commander Root’s recycling ceremony. The man, a maverick who knew exactly how to take risks, was well known for clanking through Police Plaza hallways, barking orders, louder than a crack of dynamite. From a humble beginning in Haven’s western suburbia all the way to L. E. P. chief commander, the man never did anything halfway, and has been put to rest, having taken in an incredibly lengthy list of most wanted criminals.

He will be sorely missed.

(The bolded words are all board games on my living room shelf rack).

Makoto’s puzzle line has been completed.

RATCHET AND CLANK QUESTLINE: Third combo lock clue/safe clue

The THIRD of THREE clues to the safe and lock starts with searching RATCHET’S bag. A note from him is contained within, with the following text:

Not much I can do from another galaxy, but Clank hacked your computer and left you a fairy hologram, you’ll need some infrared goggles to read it. There’s also some weird folder on your desktop, might be worth a look.

Sorry pal, but you’re on your own this time.

This will lead “Artemis” to check the computer.

Hacking Back

Two users on the computer, myself and... Artemis. There’s some notes taped to the monitor that might help.

“Give it up, Foaly. I know you know my password.” and “you can always click the hint, but it’s the family motto...”

The hint lists “Gold is Power”, and the password is Aurum Est Postas, the Fowl family motto and Artemis’s own computer password (until he later changes it to Centaur in Book 6).

There’s only two things of note when logging in as Artemis, and they lead into finding the final combo lock clue and safe location clue.

For Emergency Use Only

Not-so hidden among the wafers, wire, magnifying lenses, and sensors is a pair of ‘infrared’ goggles (Also other than the ‘infrared’ goggles, the rest of the items are all real tech, plus my magnification ring, as I’m legally blind and loathe to carry a larger magnifying glass)

The Final Safe Code Clue

Wearing the goggles, ‘Artemis’ will now be able to read the image, which is in Centurian.

THE NUMBERS ADD TO TEN AND ARE ORDERED FROM SMALLEST TO LARGEST.

The Mysterious Computer Folder

There was something else Ratchet said was on the computer, wasn’t there?

Leads on Finding..../the Safe seems a good place to start.

Opening the folder is five photographs of people in nón lá (leaf hat), otherwise known as Vietnamese conical straw hats.

I did a semester abroad in Sapa, Vietnam, so not only did I take the photos, I also just so happen to have my own nón lá hanging up in my bedroom (I lost my baseball cap the first week I moved there, and my host mother insisted I get one to protect myself from the sun).

If you’re at all familiar, the Artemis Fowl series begins with Artemis tracking down a fairy begging on the streets of Ho Chi Minh city, so the hat’s my little nod to that.

Searching the hat leads to a simple note...

Face where Man acquires sustenance and it is sinister.

Face where Fairy acquires sustenance and it is right.

It’s wrapped in a gold bow, like the other two safe location clues.

Ratchet’s (and Foaly’s :D) puzzle line has been completed.

All minor puzzles are complete; it’s now time to find and open the safe..

FIGURING OUT THE SAFE LOCATION:

Clue one tells you its on the bottom rack.

Clue two tells you a bunch of board games.

And clue three says its on the left (sinister) when looking at where humans get food, or on the right on where fairies get food.

Its inside that rightmost cube on the bottom, since we are facing the backyard from this view, with the kitchen behind.

FIGURING OUT THE COMBO

THE LARGEST SAFE NUMBER IS EVEN

THE SAFE COMBINATION HAS NO DUPLICATE NUMBERS

THE NUMBERS ADD TO TEN AND ARE ORDERED FROM SMALLEST TO LARGEST.

From here, we know the third digit must be even, as it’s the largest number. The dials only go from 0-9, so the third digit must be 2,4,6, or 8. The numbers must add to ten, with no duplicates, so the third number cannot be 8. It also can’t be 2 (1,1,2 is invalid).

So the third number must be 4 or 6.

But even the next largest numbers (2 and 3) only add to 9 with 4. (2, 3,4) so 4 cannot be the final digit.

The last digit must be 6.

If 6 is the last digit, the other two numbers must add to 4 to make 10. There are only two valid combinations to make this possible (without violating the no duplicate rule)

The combo is either 0, 4, 6

Or

1, 3, 6

(the combo is 1, 3, 6).

With this information, Artemis can find and open the safe.

When he does, a folded note saying STOP! is inside. It contains the following.

You’ve come quite close, me, congratulations are in order.

But there is one final test for you, my old friend. Through these trials, you might have jogged a hair of your-my-OUR memory. I hope you have, because if you’ve done this wrong, this box is set to blow.

Under your old L.E.P. contractor’s shirt are two identically sized items. One of them is the files the People wrote on you so many years ago. The other… is a block of C4. Don’t bother pulling at them, but touch the spines all you like so long as you don’t yank it out. They’re designed to be identical, but only one is meant for you.

Foaly, Captain Short, and Wing Commander Vinyáya can’t help you here.

Think on it, and, when you’re sure you know the answer, pull it out and rip it open.

Diffuse the Safe Bomb

WARNING! THIS WILL SPOIL THE FINAL PUZZLE.

I’ll wait.

Waiting.

Last chance to try and figure this one out yourself.

Good? Good.

And here is where I pull an Artemis Fowl myself, and I play the biggest con-slash-bluff of the hunt.

There are two books inside, both wrapped, with wires coming out of the paper (they don’t actually lead anywhere). No matter which one “Artemis” takes, there is a signed copy of Artemis Fowl inside (the other copy is mine), plus the home-made shirt. Neither “Foaly” nor I will help him; he’s welcome to hem and haw at his old clues all he wishes. It’s entirely up to his gut on this one. There is no wrong answer.

Merry Christmas, old friend.

[eddiemunsonsmiddlefingers]

I got to see my boyfriend this weekend. ❤️❤️❤️

In addition to seeing the best human being on the planet this adventure included:

- Driving nearly 1,500 miles

- "Defacing" a public bathroom stall to say "vote rump" (I scratched the T off of what was already there so teeeeechnically I was actually removing graffiti.)

- Learning to pump gas (I'm an Oregonian, we can't pump our own fuel. Shut your pie hole)

- An overturned 18-wheeler (I was not involved, merely witnessed the aftermath)

- Going to the best big and little science museums ever

- A birthday party for my munchkin

- Giving and receiving heartfelt gifts

- Gale force winds and rain that put out the power in most of the town I was in

- Meeting new friends ❤️

- Celebrating the new year by candle light

- Being fantastically queer in the most ticky-tacky Ikea- furnished cishet middle-class white person prefab subdivision house you can possibly imagine (it was an airbnb, and the owners were actually incredibly sweet, but the house was... wow.)

- Acquiring gas for a stranded motorist on the way home

- A gas attendant attempting to abscond with my card?

The only time it didn't rain on my way down was when I stopped for this photo:

[charlesandmartine]

Tuesday 13th June 2023

Well, we had planned a lot for today and we knew it might be tough. Early start; hotel breakfast, then shuttle bus 1 mile back to the airport to buy a Canadian SIM card and then collect the rental from Mr Alamo. He kindly let us have a very nice Audi A4 in tasteful black. Now as motorists, we were able to drive to the ferry terminal at Tsawwassen to travel the 95 minute straits across to Nanaimo on Vancouver Island where we shall tour until Saturday.

The image I had was an island similar in size to the Isle of Wight. Absolutely not so, VI is 283 miles in length and 63 miles at its widest point. Named after Captain George Vancouver of the Royal Navy who explored the Pacific Northwest in the late eighteenth century, it is the world's 43rd largest island and Canada's 11th largest island. We intend in the limited time available to us to explore just a little of its beauty in the next few days.

After collecting a rubbery chicken and some sauv blanc we checked in for a couple of nights at our first Airbnb close to Lake Cowichan. A vast and beautiful lake some 3 square miles in size, sitting comfortably within broadleaf and Pine forests. Our lodgings are indeed most acceptable with one exception. Unloading the car of the groceries and rubbery chicken, we became aware of a herd of free-range birds of the same variety but very much alive. The leader of the gang was a bruiser of a cockerel worthy of a starring role in Chicken Run or Chainsaw Massacre. He took an immediate dislike to us and flew at us like a banshee, feathers flying, feet claws and beak working as choreographed road-drills taking chunks out of the leg department. We straight away complained to the host and now the said bird is incarcerated behind barbed wire whilst we are left applying a balm of savlon on wounded areas. Apparently he's a rescue bird! Clearly has more severe mental health issues than previously diagnosed on the psychiatrist's couch. The host was mortified vis-a-vis and produced within a very short period of time gifts of compensation.

The countryside here is glorious, and we shall spend time tomorrow exploring more of it.

ps the property has a bear fence surrounding it. If bears should go berserk, I doubt we packed sufficient savlon!