#ghost talked the most he ever has here and that's just cause he's mad abt the 'ew vampires' thing

[designedparadigm]

   jesus  christ,  ya  talk  a  lo'.  the  thought  is  written  across  his  face,  followed  by  an  eye  roll.  he's  not  going  to  make  it  questionable  where  he  stands  -  especially  since  thompson  sure  as  shit  didn't.  yeah  -  everyone  fucking  looks  down  on  the  vampires.  creatures  that  most  of  them  didn't  even  ask  for  what  they  got.  born  like  this  or  forced  into  it.  the  ones  who  wanted  this  existence  -  he  doesn't  talk  to  or  claim.  it's  not  fun.  not  glamorous. 

   “fuckin'  believe  me  i  didn'  fuckin'  ask  t'  be  born.”  he  hisses  it  out,  ignoring  the  hand  offered,  keeping  arms  crossed  against  his  chest.  “in  fact,  i  tried  t'  be  ‘uman.  guess  wha’  fucked  tha'  up?  ‘umans.”  a  dry  humorless  chuckle  passes.  “ever  been  tortured  before?  assaulted  in  every  fuckin’  possible  way?  ya  think  we're  bad.”  a  roll  of  his  eyes.  “thrown  in  a  box  with  a  rottin'  corpse  and  expected  t'  die.  ‘ad  a  family  i  wan’ed  t'  ge'  back  to.  threw  my  ‘umani’y  away  jus'  t'  come  ‘ome  t’  ‘em  all  murdered.  by  ’umans.  ain't  ever  gonna  understand  why  we're  looked  down  on.  most  uv  us  ain't  that  fuckin'  bad.” 

   he  states  it  all  as  if  it  means  nothing  to  him.  in  a  way,  he  supposes,  it  doesn't.  not  anymore.  it  was  years  ago  now,  and  he'd  numbed  to  it.  to  the  world.  crawled  out  of  the  dirt  a  monster,  but  one  with  love  in  its  heart  for  its  family.  just  for  that  to  be  ripped  away.  who's  the  real  monster?  he  knows  the  answer.  not  that  anyone  wants  to  fucking  hear  it  though. 

   “name's  ghost.”  he  gives  the  alias  -  not  as  if  he  feels  like  he's  anywhere  close  to  simon  riley  anymore.  that  man  was  human.  he's  not.  he's  different.  shed  that  skin,  that  life.  become  something  else.  not  even  a  someone  anymore.  but  that  was  his  burden.  his  boulder  to  push  up  the  hill. 

   “fuck  you  think  took  tha'  kinda  a  chunk  ou'a  me?  this  fuckin'  place  ‘as  a  hun’er  problem.  though'  i'  was  fuckin'  safe  an'  i  could  relax  for  once.  turns  ou',  ya  jus'  can't  go  two  fuckin'  fee'  wi'ou'  one  a  them  ‘un'er’s  comin'  for  your  balls.”  ghost  scoffs.  “take  i'  they  ‘aven’  targe'ed  much  else  beyond  vampires  then.  must  be  my  lucky  fuckin'  day.  hun'ed  an'  seen  as  the  fuckin'  chari'y  case.  all  cause  i  refused  t'  drink.  stupid  -  can  never  ge'  my  ‘umani’y  back.  shoulda  been  topped  up.  stupid  t'  think  i'm  ever  safe.  everyone  fuckin'  ‘ates  vampires.  fuckin’  ridiculous.  like  i  ‘ad  a  fuckin’  choice  in  th'  ma'er.  th'  things  i  did  cause  i  fuckin'  loved  landed  me  right  fuckin'  ‘ere.  livin’  my  own  ‘ell.  never  love.  no’  even  family.  i'  ‘ll  jus’  ruin  ya.”

cont. x / @designedparadigm

❝ A what...? ❞ he starts (as if THAT'S the thing to focus on). The blood is knocked away but he keeps his hold on it, simply lets his hand moved with the gesture instead of pushing against it; he lets the two of them fall to his side as he watched the injured thing have some sort of inner tussle with himself.

The the bag was being snatched away and Clark was left there to patiently watch and have his own inner tussle. Starting with: what the fuck was he doing? He really did not like vampires. Second below demons on his list of Ew. They were gradually being knocked down lower with time, with Clark coming to realize where his distaste came from. It was really just an unfortunate bout of projection. Who needed therapist when you had an overactive mind and plenty of time to pick apart your own issues?

He doesn't quite zone back into the situation at hand until the empty back is discarded, tossed aside. The cambion sighs. ❝ I get you're missing a chunk or two but must we litter? ❞ a handkerchief pulled from his breast pocket and shaken open so he could bend and grab the discarded thing.

When he straightens, he regards the creature with a cocked brow. A slightly vexed but otherwise neutral look. ❝ Are you categorizing yourself as unfortunate or unworthy of charity? I'm not sure you can be both at the same time. ❞ and maybe he's stalling because Clark isn't quite sure he has an answer.

He decides there's no point in bullshitting, he has nothing to gain from lying to an injured vampire. ❝ Oh, I used to. Maybe still do. Not personally, not really if I'm being honest with myself. Found your kind to be too similar to what I come from. Now that, that I do loathe.❞ he trails off, picks up not long after with a tired sigh. ❝ Sorry, no need to be vague for dramatics. Demons. Incubi, succubi to be exact. Their feeding isn't too unlike yours at its core. I think seeing that was a reminder I didn't like being confronted with. Thus, ew...vampires. ❞ all spouted in that dreary, near-monotone of his.

❝ I'm rambling and over-sharing. Not that you didn't sort of ask for it. I digress. No, darling, I do not 'get my rocks off on helping the unfortunate'. I just seem to always come across the bastards and unwanted vagrants of the world that fall through the cracks where things like me exist. ❞ he offers a hand in greeting.

❝ I really wish people would stop smelling me and just ask. No one ever gets it by smelling me. ❞ grumbled as though he was complaining about something normal like a mispronounced name.

❝ Cambion. Human parent, demon parent. You can call me Thompson for now if you feel inclined to call me anything. May I ask what managed to fuck you up like that? ❞

[spiralesbian]

ALRIGHT

here’s my full Stranger Avatar Sasha Archivist timeline:

(also, thanks to @artbyblastweave for being so interested in my lil au!)

SEASON ONE

sasha james is hired as the head archivist of the magnus institute!

her assistants are jon, tim, and martin

tim takes the thematic role of martin (aka getting tormented by my worm wife jane, and stays in the archives)

sasha reads thru statements and is a skeptic! she really does not believe it’s real until jane comes along.

“tim……………………..did you die here?”

“no, but every time i come to work i die a little more inside.”

cute timsha moment in the supply closet tho.

until martin kool-aid-mans through the door and gets them out of there

jon used to work in artefact storage so he hides in there. he’ll be fine

i actually can’t remember how they all get out but they do it KKJSDGFJHD

sasha takes everyone’s statements. tim is fucked up, martin is also fucked up, jon is actually fine though he seems pretty normal about this whole situation most definitely.

sasha realizes this is a bit more than a regular archivist job.

SEASON TWO

sasha gets paranoid of course. she learns more about gertrude because she never got the chance to meet her

she takes a statement from a guy named michael shelley. weird dude. then helen shows up :)

jon is most definitely himself he is just a normal regular grumpy jon i swear :)

sasha starts to manifest her powers a little bit. she doesn’t know it, but she is an avatar of the stranger, and a prisoner of the eye.

she starts to notice more things about jon? similar to this comic but with jon

eventually she + tim + martin help get jon out of the grip of the NotJon. this is my au and i get to choose who dies (it’s no one because i miss the s1 archival assistants too much).

jon is pretty fucked up from this though and at like a season-3-tim mindset already.

fucking goddamn leitner avatar of the fucking whore shows up to trap the NotJon in one of his shitty fucking novels. fuck this guy tho

he’s like Sasha We Must Talk and shes like okay but stay 8 ft away from me at all times you bitch

she leaves the room for 10 minutes and pipe murder occurs. good riddance

wait are the cops in the season i genuinely can’t remember. if they are, their roles don’t change very much. melanie and sasha feud, battle of the bi queens

SEASON THREE:

uh oh! girlie’s be framed for murder! she crashes at her ex gf georgie’s flat. also the admiral is there don’t think i would EVER cut him out of this story

(also jon is georgie’s ex too because i think that would be fun JDHBFHS)

sasha learns abt an upcoming web ritual (mirroring the unknowing), all that shit. gets kidnapped a ton of times, as usual.

helen is like “i am going to kill you because i hate gertrude <3 i was that dumb bitch’s assistant for too long” but michael busts out of the door like Hi Guys and traps her in the hallway.

sasha also gives her statement about a leitner she found as a child that marked her. its a stranger book and we learn her edgy orphan origin story how her parents were both murked by the stranger. fucked up if true!

back at the archives jon is like so fucking tired of this shit honestly and now martin is also pretty paranoid. also jm romance subplot is still very present!

tim is just trying to protect sasha at all times and he’s pissed she keeps leaving the country and getting fucking kidnapped

(remember when jon persuades the traffic cop?) sasha starts to fill her archivist role in a different way. she can shapeshift into the subject of a statement and uses her affiliation with the eye to coerce statements or info out of people. (example: if she needed a live statement from the guy in #90 Body Builder, she could temporarily make herself look like jared hopworth to the guy and ask “what happened to me?” or “what did i do?” and the guy would be like well he built some fucken bodies i guess let me tell you all about it) while reading the statements in america that refuel her, she fully shapeshifts into the statement giver while reading out loud.

once again i truly can’t remember daisy + basira’s roles until the end of the season. also melanie get shot by the ghost at some point

anyways sasha gets kidnapped by trevor and julia and they gerry lays out all the shit for her and she’s like ah! i’m fucked

tim offhand mentions the web ritual to martin and he loses his shit cause he’s marked by the web blah blah this isn’t a web!martin thing i swear i just need someone to fill tim’s role in the ritual and a lonely ritual would be fucking boring as hell as we learned from ass man peter lukas. i hate that man

so they make the plan to stop the web ritual (which is fucking hard when the offense knows your every move) so sasha, basira, daisy, jon, and martin go.

tim stays back at the institute to burn shit and distract elias. elias does some fucked up shit as usual and it makes me sad

the ritual starts! they have a plan to blow it up and run but like. u know how it goes

instead of the unknowing-stranger-dream-sequence, we get everyone kinda mixed up in a huge spider’s web on the big stage and its still quite confusing because this ritual not only manipulates the prey, but also the prey’s perceived reality. the web is also in current control of the buried coffin cause they think that shit is kinda fun. they yeet daisy into it.

hard to describe what happens, but basira keeps her cool, jon is a bit lost in his own mind, sasha tries to use her powers to escape but fails. she manages to get through to martin through the strings and mounds of spiders and she tosses him the detonator.

[squishing spider noises]

SEASON FOUR:

martin doesn't die, i told you i can't kill the og archival assistants! he does lose most of one leg though, he took the blunt of the explosion.

sasha in da hospital in da coma. tim is mad he can’t wake her up and then my man ollie says “ur fucked up mate” and she wakes up

(and because coma jon has such wild hair controversy, i’m establishing that her head was shaved when she was in the coma. it grows back thru s4. it she keeps one side shaved cause she’s cool)

meanwhile tim is recruited by that dumbass man you know who i don’t even wanna say his stupid fucking name

sasha gets daisy out of the buried. they become avatar pals!

(there is the biggest blank in my memory where all of season four should be. at this point i should just relisten to the entire fucking show but i would literally just forget it all again)

melanie says hm. fuck this! and blinds herself. she goes to live with georgie (and that’s the moment jon and sasha realize they are both georgie’s exes FHFHDJD)

tim continues to fight the lonely pull. he thinks that since p*ter l*kas is tied to the institute, he can blind himself out cause melanie was successful. he is wrong. he is also interrupted by elias midway, and only blinds one eye, and loses most of his sight in the other. elias’s hold on him is weak, but this just drives him way farther into the lonely.

gotta be honest i remember the end of season four but like i couldn’t visualize what was happening at the end so i like don’t understand what happened JGDKFJGD but sasha intervenes (???) and peter yeets tim into the lonely (???) and sasha jumps in (??????) after him. elias is just there i guess?

instead of “look at me martin,” sasha finds tim and at this point her form is warped and hard to recognize because of stranger powers, and tim is almost 100% blind, so she says “don’t look at me, see me. see me tim, it’s me.” and finally creates a clear image of herself. “it’s...it’s you. you’re my sasha.”

they break free and go to scotland i guess KHSDDKDSF

idk what happens with jon and martin im losing continuity at this point. fuck it, they smooch <3

“ah these are the statements.”

“yes. basira said last week she’d send some up as soon as the archives weren’t a crime scene. and she wasn’t sure which ones you’ve read already, so she, she just said she’d send a bunch.”

“.........Hello Sasha.”

(alternate ending: personally i think sasha would read through each statement before speaking them aloud cause that’s what i would fucking do, so she would get this statement and be like “lmao tim come look at this elias trying to prank me dumb bitch think i’ll start the apocalypse for him. fucking little puny bitch boy. anyways what do you want for dinner?”)

SEASON FIVE:

“just. listen.”

“...i’m dead. and you have been chosen to be my replacement as head archivist. hopefully, this means you, jon, but if someone else is hearing this, and elias has made a different choice for some reason, then these words are still very much intended for you.”

sasha in full stranger avatar mode and is like 8ft tall and her faces shift a lot as they go through the realms. except the stranger is the second to last one (the panopticon is last obviously).

helen and michael actually talk shit out in the spiral hallway and now they are mlm wlw solidarity and both like tim and sasha are such bi and trans icons <3 this is so fun don’t you love the fearpocalypse <3

oh daisy n basira trapped in the hunt, and jon and martin are trapped in the stranger. wtgfs + the admiral are like in space or some shit idk but they are ok :)

not much to report other than she is my monster wife <3

i really don’t have many theories to how everything in s5 is gonna pan out, and i would like to closely mirror the actual show, so maybe as we get closer to the end i’ll build more on to this! thanks a lot for all the notes on my first sarchivist post!! also if u wanna make art this specific au DEF tag me in it i’d love to see!!

[cobythinks]

‘Might As Well’ AU

HEYY so I this is a bullet-fic kinda thing for an AU I’ve created, and unlike my other AUs I’m not going to make a story for it and if I write anything it’ll all be one-shots of certain bits. It's mainly Roloceit with like tiny bits of Moxiety as well.

Feel free to send in asks or request one-shots for this AU! I’m very happy abt it and I loved writing this so any questions for the characters or requests for scenes would be amazing!!!

Most of it under the cut because... I got carried away and it's very long

Roman Guerra is a YouTuber/actor

Horace (Dee) McMullin is a drama teacher

Logan Wright is a science teacher at the same school that Dee works at

Roman and Dee are roommates, and though their relationship has progressed FAR past what anyone would call a friendship, they really don’t care enough to label it or even talk about what they are to each other. They both know they care about the other, and that’s all that really matters.

Roman also tends to rant in Spanish when he gets passionate, and Dee responds by saying the names of ‘Mexican food’ as a reply.

Roman: *talks in spanish*

Dee: *nods* burrito. Quesadilla. Mama Mia.

Roman: that’s not even a food, shut up.

Logan meets Dee through work, obviously, and they quickly become friends

Something about the tall, dramatic, elegant man just drives Logan insane because he’s a little shit once you get to know him and it makes no SENSE

The adorable little science teacher shouldn’t scare Dee as much as he does, but he can’t help it. Something about the way Logan is always composed makes Dee feel like he’s a serial killer or something.

Despite this, they become friends when they discover they both have a passion for psychology and have long discussions about it during lunch and when they hang out on weekends

Dee - as much as he hates it - starts to fall hopelessly in love with the other teacher. He can’t help it, just like he couldn't help but to fall in love with Roman a year and a half earlier when they met. 

Not that he’d told Roman that yet, god no. They’d both dated other people on and off while knowing each other, even if they did end up fucking after every breakup and swearing to each other they were done with the whole relationship thing. 

Roman always found someone else to sweep off their feet, and Dee always found himself hopelessly pining for someone else to make the first move

So, that’s what was happening here, and it was torture.

Logan wasn’t much better, furious that this dramatic drama teacher of all people made him feel so flustered and confused.

Then the day came that Dee brought Logan over for dinner, and he met Roman

Roman greeted him dramatically, filling the entire apartment with his electric energy as he spoke.

Oh god, there’s two of them. Logan realized in terror as the two bickered playfully back and forth, eventually challenging each other to a duel despite the fact they had a guest over.

And like most of their duels, Roman ended up kissing Dee

“Oh,” Logan said, feeling like a complete idiot

“Fuck,” Dee said, realizing that Logan now had the wrong idea

“Maybe later,” Roman said with a wink because he’s a little shit.

Dee just freaking makes a mess of everything and accidentally confesses his feelings for both of them at once and then faceplants on the couch

Roman offers Logan some lasagna because it’s getting cold

Dee feels betrayed 

but joins them for lasagna in a few minutes

Logan is utterly confused and doesn’t know what to say, so he doesn’t say anything

Dee is mortified and wants to jump off the balcony

He and Roman proceed to do the titanic thing and Logan is still very confused but he agrees to take their picture

He’s Like: Sure??? I guess so??? Are we not going to address what just happened??? DOn’T FaLL yOU IDiOTs

Roman thinks it is all hilarious but he must agree that Logan is stunning

He helps to re-explain his and Dee’s relationship because Dee honestly did an awful job

And Logan is like okay

Because it makes sense now even though Roman used many slang words he did NOT understand

Oh my god these two are literally the most chaotic duo he’s ever met and usually Logan HATES chaos but he LOVES this

And so Roman - of course, it’s Roman - is the one to suggest they just go with the flow like he and Dee have been doing for the past year already, if Logan wants to

Logan has no idea what to expect but agrees that he wouldn’t mind

Horace.exe has crashed again

So they start doing whatever the hell it is that they’re doing

And if Roman is a chaos slut with Dee he is a chaos gentleman with Logan and it is BAFFLING he’s still dramatic but he’s overly chivalrous and polite and Dee is annoyed why can’t Roman hold the door open for him instead of holding it closed like a jerk after opening it for Logan

Dee and Logan just keep up their psychology discussions almost constantly and regularly have to ask Roman to finish a debate even though Roman knows NOTHING about psychology

Roman always finds an excuse not to support Dee (in a loving way)

“Roman! Tell Logan that Max Stirner-”

“I’M BUSY MAKING ALFREDO SORRY”

This doesn’t stop Dee from continuing to ask him to back him up

Roman always supports Logan in the debates despite being completely oblivious

“Roman, don’t you agree that-”

“Yes, my love. My darling. Genius whom I would die for. I agree.”

This always causes Logan distress in two ways

One: Roman didn’t listen to what he was agreeing with

Two: he is now super flustered because Roman is continuing to ramble on about how much he loves Logan

Logan turns out to know some Spanish

So now he and Roman have conversations in Spanish and Roman teaches him more and Dee just doesn’t really care

He keeps contributing using food or random words he’s picked up on and it drives Logan and Roman INSANE

And so they start dropping his proper name in conversation to either

One: make Dee think they’re mad because they used ‘Horace’

Two: make Dee think they’re gossiping about him

When really they’re talking about how much they love him OR just saying ‘Horace’ in the middle of a completely unrelated sentence

They stop doing this after they accidentally make Dee legitimately sad

It surprises both of them when they realize he’s crying after they don’t tell him what they were saying

So no more pretending to gossip about each other in Spanish

Roman offers to teach him Spanish

Dee responds to the offer by screaming ‘TORTILLA’ at the top of his lungs

Dee does not learn Spanish

Roman calls them his boyfriends first

In a youtube video title

Without warning them that they were being featured

Because he’s a little shit

Dee freaks out and tries to ask him about it but they just end up making out like they usually do when they try to have a serious conversation

Logan is okay with it and very amused at Dee’s reaction

Dee calls them his boyfriends next when he gets sick

When Dee gets sick he gets freaking delirious

Logan didn’t believe that it was the same person the first time he saw Dee when he was sick

Dee also only responds to Horace, his given name, when he’s sick and it's so hard to talk to him because they never seriously call him that

but Dee is so fucking sappy when he’s like that

And it's just pure and cute and he calls them his boyfriends

Logan calls them his boyfriends last

When introducing him to some other friends when they moved back into town

Patton Foster, a veterinarian

Virgil Storm, a weatherman (shut up he knows it's stupid his boyfriend (Patton) makes enough jokes about it as it is)

Both are baffled at how Logan managed to be dating two completely batshit crazy drama geeks

Once this happens they finally sit down and decide that yeah, they are dating

None of them say it’s exclusive, but none of them really want to date anyone else anymore anyway

Having Logan there to balance out the chaos is exactly what they needed

“I NEED A SNAKE FOR A VIDEO”

“Doesn’t Dee have a pet snake?”

“DEE YOU HAVE A PET SNAKE??”

“You’ve lived together for two years, how do you not know he has a snake in a terrarium in his room?”

“Logan I trusted you.”

“CAN I USE YOUR SNAKE”

“Only if I get to be in the video too, she gets nervous around cameras and she needs me.”

“Snakes don’t know what cameras-”

“DEAL!”

So it's just chaos and thriving in their little apartment

Roman has them in his videos sometimes, which is hugely popular among his viewers

“Hey, youtube! Today we’re throwing wet sponges at my tall boyfriend!”

“Roma- ROMAN GET AWAY FROM ME YOU SAID YOU WOULD WARN ME NEXT TIME”

“If you get water on the floor I’m not cleaning it up also watch out for the outlets you don’t want to get electrocuted.”

“That was my nerd boyfriend. I’d never throw a wet sponge at him, he doesn’t deserve it. Only my tall one deserves it.”

“I HATE YOU BOTH”

Logan and Dee both try to embarrass the other more whilst at work, which only caused a problem one or two times

“I need your help”

“With what”

“...a surprise”

“I told you I won’t help you teach them how to stage kiss anymore you always just kiss me for real and that’s not how it works.”

“But I love you.”

“fine.”

Roman and Dee regularly compete to see who can make Logan more embarrassed from compliments and it usually ends up in a cuddle pile or [REDACTED]

Dee is still positive that Logan is either a serial killer or a robot and that is one reason he enjoys making Logan embarrassed because it's hilarious to see the usually stoic teacher not know what to say

Roman, when he hears this theory, claims that Dee is the actual serial killer and he knows because he’s a ghost that’s just been haunting Dee since he killed him

Logan pretends to believe Roman’s claim and Dee wants to destroy them both.

He does… in a way *cough*

People who met Roman and Dee before Logan got there are baffled when they see either of them or both interacting with Logan

Because Roman and Dee are just CHAOS and DRAMATIC declarations of love (Roman) SCREAMING and sexual jokes (Dee)

Roman and Logan, though, that’s Roman at his most chivalrous. He opens doors, speaks eloquently, bows dramatically and is basically an over the top perfect gentleman

Deceit and Logan, well, no one understands that either because Deceit makes ZERO sexual jokes and he’s quiet and gentle and finally FINALLY he matches the elegant aesthetic he has going on 

And as soon as all three of them are seen together? The dynamic makes sense again

Roman and Dee are gremlins. Logan is the god they worship.

 Logan treats them both equally, as much as he can that is, and Roman and Dee would probably fight to the death for his hand and then end up making out like they always do when they fight to ‘the death’

Even Logan’s friends have only ever seen him express real emotion when he is with one or both of his boyfriends

The rest of the time he is in his robot/serial killer mode

Both Roman and Dee take great pride in this

Logan calls Dee Horace when he wants to make a point and it's usually why he ends up winning debates when Roman isn’t around because it makes Dee frustrated and annoyed so he stops talking

Apologies are made with kisses though

After the three get together, Roman learns a lot more about Dee as a person because believe it or not Dee is good at pretending and keeping secrets

Also they always just used to… sleep… in Roman’s room and not Dee’s but Roman didn’t even notice that and that’s how Dee got away with having a snake in secret for two years until Logan stayed the night in his room.

Roman falls more in love with Dee as a result and visa versa

Logan is awfully amused at this and they know it

Basically, the entire relationship is a HOT MESS

And that’s all I’ve got

[bladekindeyewear]

Boots Reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 15 - Candy Page 34

==>

John finally decides to let the relevance of his story end, and enjoy that he’s made at least some of his other friends happy with his choice.  Time to read Page 34...

VRISKA: Pfft, yeah, wh8tever. I’m basically Immortal, bitch.

Preeeetty sure you’re confusing yourself with one of your parents.

Pff, actual healthy kismesis with a Tavros?  Wow, we’re getting all sorts of redemption by not-really-Vriska proxy here.

HARRY ANDERSON: he’s always getting all weepy whenever i talk to him anyway. HARRY ANDERSON: i don’t think i could have taken another round of him choking back tears while apologizing to me about “what happened with me and your mother, harry.” HARRY ANDERSON: i mean, god. he’s not even fucking DRUNK when he does this. HARRY ANDERSON: that might actually be the most embarrassing part.

.......

Okay, having grown up with a father who suffered from serious depression and would break into tears embarrassingly easily, uh.  I can relate?  But also fuck you, that’s inconsiderate.

--Dammit, new Vriska is catching wind of old Vriska.

Vriska and (Vriska) both start shrieking at a pitch John’s only ever heard one time before. It was a sound that once accompanied the end of everything. A sound once heard the night he dreamt in anime.

Oh that’s brilliant.  If the entire Candy arc ended here it’d be great, though I know it’s not quite over yet.

==>

...Oh shit, we actually get to see what happens immediately next.

Interesting introspective thoughts!  Or, trying her best NOT to be introspective and failing.

Oh my god, SHUT UP Gamzee.  Vriska, just kill him already??

PFFF HE SENT A PIC OF IT TO KARKAT :D

Pfff.  Yeah, Vriska, TRY and ignore what just happened and how it was almost entirely your idea.

(Vriska) is so furious, she has no way of pinpointing the exact moment her intent stopped being intimidating him into silence and started being guaranteeing his silence, forever.

Thank FUCKING goodness, PLEASE kill him.

YAY he’s dead! :D  (Even though he’ll probably revive anyway because bullshit.)

Heheh. NOW we get a cross-Vriska heart to heart.

==>

Alright, a bit more John moping.  Man... this Candy section is a whole lot easier to swallow AFTER Meat than I imagine it would have been before.

.....heck.  EITHER of these epilogue branches are really fucking hard to swallow the first time around without the other’s context.

Oh huh, it’s his house from the Medium then?  Relocated and stuff?

Jake, hm.  Is Jake going to try and leave his son with John like that failed kidnapping in reverse or?

Jake snaps the elastic on his pair of red underpants. It’s the only thing he’s wearing.

Oooookay then.

JAKE: She had a certain way she liked me kipped out and well, i didnt want to bring anything that belonged to her when i left. Nothing she er, might miss. TAVROS: You took me,

Jake winces.

TAVROS: And,,, you took you,

Jake’s wince deepens.

Oh, so that’s what this is!  Jake fleeing with his son from an abusive relationship.  About gosh darn time.  .....geez, how bad did it get for JAKE to finally muster the gumption to do that himself after all these years???

Jake is one whole wince now

I know THAT feeling.  Or at least feel like I do.

John you dedicate your life to keeping this child happy

JOHN: it’s just been kind of a rough forever.

:C

JAKE: Maybe you should blame me? JAKE: Maybe i need someone to blame me. For once. JOHN: ...huh? JAKE: I think im starting to realize that ive been going through life with the mindset that nothing has ever really been within my control.

YES.

This is how Vriska broke Tavros way back in the comic, by constantly denying him agency.  Jake’s been battered down the same way too, and it’s not too late to pick up the reins.  He’s already DONE that by finally leaving his genocidal wife.

There’s a bit of Page of Hope-yness to this whole disastrous Candy timeline, come to think of it?  People fulfilling others’ desires out of obligation constantly, doing what they think others want?  Roxy, Jake, Dave and Karkat... all fucked over at the aggressive whims of more active folk, rolling over when they really shouldn’t have?  Or in Roxy’s case, her CHARACTER basically SHOULD NOT HAVE IN THE SLIGHTEST?

JAKE: Havent you ever wanted to let someone make the tough choices for you?

Huh.

Or maybe he is doing exactly what Jake has always done. In a certain light, isn’t ascribing all this mess to some unconscious influence he might have had over the metaphysical shape of reality just a way to brush off his simpler failures as a man and a father?

Yes.  You can act and change this too, John.  You almost did with the kidnapping before!  Go and take down the new Batterwitch.

Hm, Hopey thing?

JAKE: John. JOHN: yeah? JAKE: Take my hand. JOHN: what? why?

Oh shit.  Are they going to be able to FIX some of this BS with some sort of hopey thing??? :D  Probably too much to hope for but still!

Being flung from Jake’s orbit of Hope and Change

Pffff.  Had to throw in an Obama didn’t you.

...Oh.  Oh wow.  Oh we get to figure out what the fuck was up with Roxy all this time.  Oh boy.

JAKE: So what if it doesnt change anything? Wont it matter to your family to see you care? JAKE: Wont it make you feel better to try?

:D

Heheh, Hope aspecty stuff.  The ability to believe that something matters even when you “know” it doesn’t.

==>

...Yeah, it’s pretty easy to relax on a dead Gamzee.

Oh cool.  These Vriskas are alike enough to bond!  New Vriska is still in her teenage unbalanced go-for-it stage, and old Vriska has been knocked down a peg by the clown incident, putting them on a close enough level to not want to instantly disown each other, unlike old Vriska and ghost Vriska.

VRISKA: The Mayor’s dead, dude.

HOW did the Mayor die?!??  Did I just FORGET that from the end of Homestuck or something??

(I mean, probably.)

Callback to the clouds in that first Jade dream John had.

(VRISKA): Or may8e the truth just makes me kind of nervous. VRISKA: What “Truth”? (VRISKA): Don’t tell him I said this, 8ut, I think John is just an extremely powerful 8eing. Even when he sucks. (VRISKA): And he certainly does appear to suck in this reality. (VRISKA): And yet, the uneasy feeling is there. (VRISKA): It’s a vague feeling I’ve had in the 8ack of my mind for a long time, 8ut it really hit me when I was talking to him earlier. (VRISKA): It’s distur8ing to think a8out that much power 8ottled up in one stupid nerd who’ll never understand it. VRISKA: What Power are you even talking a8out? VRISKA: Like, lame Wind Powers? (VRISKA): No, I mean... (VRISKA): The power to shape reality. Even without intending to.

FUCK did he really cause all this??? Even the Roxy shit?!???  D:  D:  D:

It’s being left vague but it IS sounding like John was actually RIGHT about all that stuff.  FUCK, if the “villain” who messed up Roxy is actually just John’s subconscious...  :C

Even if the epilogue ends right here, though, with John about to call Roxy, I can imagine it working out, though.  It’s on a right enough track there.

(VRISKA): I’ve spent so long caring so much a8out what other people thought of me. Mainly that they saw me as important, or making a “difference.”

Mhmm mhmm.  Light n stuff.

Yeah, realizing that importance isn’t ALL that’s “important” is really, um.  Important.  Ahem.

Hm, other Vriska, that smile had seven pairs of dots, not eight.  :?

(VRISKA): The POINT is, I was so mad at her. (VRISKA): That happy ghost version of myself, who was free of everything. (VRISKA): I was pro8a8ly mad 8ecause she got to 8e who she really was, without stressing a8out it, which is something I never felt like I was allowed to have.

Indeed.

(VRISKA): I guess I mean there’s someone specifically I fell out of touch with, who it feels like I’ll never see again.

Too bad, only ghost Vriska got her reunite with ‘Rezi.  :P

(VRISKA): On some level I knew she was right. She was happy and honest with herself. And that’s what made her... (VRISKA): A version of myself who was actually worthy of someone I cared a8out.

Yyyep.  As I said.  :)

VRISKA: You’re just talking a8out The Girl You 8linded that one time, aren’t you? (VRISKA): Ummmmmmmm.

Heheh.  Yeah, you’re not going to hide that sort of thing from your sharp near-clone.

Oh cool!  She gets to see all those messages and feel turboguilt or something.

...oh shit.  Is a message going to actually get to her?  It-- oh shit.  Didn’t Terezi have her phone buzzing in her pocket and ignored it in the end of Meat or something?  Or at SOMEONE did and I thought it conspicuous but it didn’t get addressed in that side of the story and-- FFFFuck is she eventually going to see it or??!  D:

She’s GOT to have seen it before running all the way off with villain Dirk, right?? D:

==>

Okay.  You seem to be thinking clearly, Roxy.  What’s going through your head? Give us some answers.  Don’t fuck this up too much, John.

but she knows by now that it’s not her job to make him happy. That was something she gave up on years ago. But wanting to? That feeling is still as fresh as it always was.

FUCK was this all just a placid feeling of obligation to make John happy for all he did to ensure victory or something??? D: D: D:

She’s still working through what she feels about distancing herself from Jane

Yesssss

If he’s truly about to be real with her for the first time in forever,

Gosh fucking DARNIT John, you could have fixed all this DECADES AGO if you had a real talk with her ONCE!!!!!

ROXY: the more i thought abt it the more i figured holdin on to that one thing made me lose out on some other shit ROXY: u might relate JOHN: haha, you got me there i guess.

:c

JOHN: i’ve been doing a lot of thinking about how things got to be like they are. JOHN: i guess i’ll just come out and say it. JOHN: i completed fucked up your entire life. JOHN: i’m not going to pretend like there are two sides here. it’s my bad, totally. JOHN: like, not just what happened to our marriage, though it’s also true that that’s completely my fault. JOHN: but even before that... JOHN: i think i fucked up on just this massive, fundamental level, and it’s what i did— JOHN: or, well, what i didn’t do— JOHN: that caused every stupid bullshit thing about the way this world is.

...Huh.

That may not actually be true, and Roxy might be about to prove how self-absorbedly reductive that is.

ROXY: oh nah ill stop u rite there my man

Okay YES.  If this wasn’t him, then SET HIM THE FUCK STRAIGHT.  :D

She knows more than he does, and she doesn’t need to hear it.

TELL US TELL US TELL US

YES TEAR INTO HIM he’s wanted that for so long stand up for yourself and tell us what the fuck happened and why

He’s been looking at her, really looking at her, and she doesn’t want to blink, just in case that shatters it.

Yes because he was looking for the real Roxy that would call out his BS

JOHN: i used to be so angry that you wouldn’t tell me what you really thought, before. JOHN: not like i wanted to FIGHT fight, but like. JOHN: i’m just not used to this flavor of roxy. ROXY: hm ROXY: sounds to me like u just disproved ur own hotshot theory then genius JOHN: huh? ROXY: you wished i was one way the whole time we were married ROXY: but i wasnt

YES!!! Yes his theory’s disproven!  He never WANTED Roxy to just act that way, he wasn’t the cause of this, I was hoping for that!  :D

ROXY: i was bad at standin up for myself then and im learnin to be good at it now

D:

That’s....... sad, if that’s the explanation.  But it’s better than mind control I guess.  :(

JOHN: but... JOHN: you were never like that before i... ROXY: dude ROXY: where tf do u get off trying to decide what is or isnt me being “like me” enuff ROXY: do u think ppl stay the same their whole damn lives or what

Oh wow.  Now Andrew’s slamming SLAMMING of fanfics.  He’s saying “who are you to know for SURE that they wouldn’t act that way”??  That’s pretty good.

ROXY: i like the way things turned out just fuckin fine ROXY: so maybe u could stop wastin precious eternity thinkin ur so special that its ur fault everyones not perfectly happy

:’)

Mhmm, and they’re free from the heroic design arcs or what have you.  Or... were, until Dirk tore them back in again.  Tossed aside their fucking victory with his selfish... ugh.

Mhmm, Roxy’s the perfect person to explain that not being in a canon, Light-filled timeline isn’t really a bad thing.

ROXY: i just do things the best way i think to do em and then shrug n hope it works out?

Roxy thinks about time and the spirals of choice that hang just outside her periphery, and the vertigo grows.

Good advice, and hm.  Maybe there’s some Void sight kind of playing into this as well, making it easy for her to get paralyzed by indecision and she’s had to learn to work through it.

...Ooh, that was a really cool non-binary gender diatribe in the narrative text.  That’s some nice stuff.  I felt like that was missing from the Meat side, glad we got it here at least.  :D

JOHN: there’s literally nothing to do but keep moving forward. JOHN: i may as well not be a big fucking downer about it if i don’t have to be.

Thank goodness.

YES, JOHN SHOWING HIMSELF STRAIGHT-BACKED FOR HIS SON!!! :D

Man, I wish my dad had done that instead of all the other shit he did.  At least he’s dead.  :)

(Here’s a hint in case you’re wondering why I was relieved when my Dad offed himself.)

But that’s off topic.  Let’s wrap up this epilogue already!!

==>

Page 39... only three or so pages left, right?

Pff, Karkat’s keeping them safe.

Heheh, more shitty Liberty statues.

Heheh, using them for weapons caches.

Gosh I hope they actually love each other and are mostly happy.  Jade seems happy, at least.  :(

Dammit, there go the doubts.  He wouldn’t have had those doubts with Karkat. :C

He’s standing in the Oval Office of the White House.

Oh heck yes.  Please tell me...

And over there... is something he doesn’t quite recognize. It doesn’t seem to fit in. He steps closer to investigate, wiping away at the layers of moss and dirt to reveal a surface he most certainly does recognize. It’s a transportalizer.

YES

Dave doesn’t waste any time. You don’t find something like this in the Oval Office and start agonizing over whether or not to use it. He steps on the platform, and in a blink his surroundings are completely different. The centuries of overgrowth are gone, and he appears to be in some sort of crypt, boxed in by walls of smooth, golden stone. At the far side of the room, something is hanging on the wall, encased in a sort of display. It’s a mounted god tier costume, about the size an adult male would wear. He recognizes the symbol. It’s the same one Jake used to wear when they were teens. It is the symbol for Hope.

HELL FUCKING YES

YES OBAMA

OBAMA: Hello, Mr. Strider. OBAMA: I’ve been waiting a long time for you to show up.

Dave’s jaw hangs open. The legends have been confirmed. As well as several key headcanons of his. Without thinking, he drops to one knee and bows his head.

DAVE: m... mr president DAVE: its an honor sir

Man, forget my past stomach clenching.  Forget my hesitations, my turbulent emotions, all the ups and downs the various facets of these Epilogue chapters have given me.  THIS is the best.  THIS makes it all worth it.  This is the best thing to have ever happened, and if I ever feel any regrets about ANYTHING that transpired in the Epilogues, I’ll feel infinitely better the moment I remember it gave us THIS.

The most beautiful scene I’ve ever witnessed.  All my liberal, economy-ranting hopes and dreams confirmed.  It’s glorious.

OBAMA: Come on now, Dave. We can’t be having that. OBAMA: I’m nobody’s king. I’m a democratically elected representative who took an oath to serve his country and his people. People like you, Dave. OBAMA: If anything, I should be the one bowing.

OBAMA.  I MISSED YOU OBAMA.  I CAN HEAR YOUR VOICE THROUGH YOUR TEXT AND ITS SO COMFORTING AND UPLIFTING

DAVE: mr president what i mean is im a huge fan of yours and i hope this doesnt sound fucked up but on some level i feel like ive been waiting my whole life for this moment?? OBAMA: I know, Dave.

Yes, yes you have.  Yes, we can.

OBAMA: Most people thought I was gone. But I was keeping an eye on events. OBAMA: Wouldn’t miss it for anything.

I, too, would like to have the feeling that Obama is still out there, keeping an eye on things.  Watching, smiling... providing some last background of Hope as things seem so temporarily sour.  That feeling would be amazing.

...I mean he’s still alive IRL, sure, but not Obama watermark smiling lovingly from the sky or anything like it should be.

Yes, back to reading.  Back to this glorious, definitely canon moment.  The moment we learned that Obama was with us the whole time.  :’)

DAVE: sorry if this is nosy but if you didnt die when you disappeared then how did you die OBAMA: Most of that is classified, Dave.

Pfffffff  :D

OBAMA: When I was a boy living in Hawaii, on my thirteenth birthday I was visited by a mysterious stranger. OBAMA: He was an older man with a mustache. Kind of a corny, old-fashioned, adventuring type. He tried to convince me we were related. Of course, I thought he was full of shit. OBAMA: To this day, I’m not sure about that. Maybe he was. I didn’t think much of his tall tale at the time, but what did pique my interest was his story. OBAMA: He was voyaging all over the Pacific looking for a mysterious island, which supposedly had all the answers he’d spent his whole life searching for. OBAMA: During his travels, he set up outposts all over the ocean to help with his search. Such as one near where I lived as a boy. The outpost had a laboratory, an archeological dig site, a network of underground tunnels, the works. OBAMA: One time, I snuck in there and did some exploration of my own. Somewhere in the maze of underground ruins, I found a transporter pad, just like the one that brought you here. OBAMA: It sent me to a new realm. A place they called the Medium.

Grandpa Jake of Earth A, thank you SO much for bringing us this gift.  The gift of Obama.

OBAMA: Hey, why don’t we take a walk. You’ll have a chance to collect yourself. And there’s something I’d like you to see.

:O :O :O

I am shivering with anticipation.

Ah, leave it to Obama to help Dave with the final steps of his character arc.

OBAMA: Are you sure that’s all he is, Dave?

FIX THINGS OBAMA!!!! :D :D :D

Wait, what if Obama can turn things into an actually legitimate DaveKatJade?  That would be a miracle only a god of Hope could pull off.

OBAMA: I’ve had my share of doubts about all that, just like any other man. OBAMA: And I’ve had plenty of the same kind of struggles as you, Dave. DAVE: wait DAVE: you...

Obama nods, smiles wistfully. Dave arches his eyebrows high above his shades. They stare at each other, and in the look they exchange, they seem to say all that needs to be said between two grown men on the matter.

:’)

OBAMA: Believing is the key to understanding the truth underlying the words, the truth underlying the ideas they represent, and the truth underlying who we are as individuals. OBAMA: The power of belief, the power of Hope, that’s what endows that which is intangible, ephemeral, or uncertain with a sense of reality. OBAMA: It brings focus to the insubstantial, the mirages of the mind, the multiplicity of what is possible, of what could be, and isolates it—concentrates it—to turn it into that which is. OBAMA: And the result of that, Dave, is what we call truth.

I didn’t think we’d be learning more about the Hope aspect straight from the mouth of Barack Obama.

OBAMA: He taught me about many things. Combat, philosophy, life, love... DAVE: love??? DAVE: hold on are you saying DAVE: that...

PFFFFFFFF :D :D :D

OBAMA: She’s settled happily into the specific. That’s her path now. OBAMA: All of you have embraced that life, in this safely sequestered version of planet Earth. OBAMA: All of you until now, Dave. OBAMA: This is why you’re here. OBAMA: I believe you’re ready to wake up. DAVE: ...

:O

...this is suddenly possibly going to be getting slightly sad isn’t it.  D:

--Oh shit, so THIS is where Davebot came from.

How is he going to break things off with Jade though???  D: D: D:

...Oh my GOSH he’s just going to suddenly vanish and abandon her isn’t he.  D:

...alright, merging with his other selves, et cetera...

It defers to its greatest knight, risen anew.

Yeah that’s nice but am I supposed to pretend you’re going to say goodbye to Jade offscreen or

--ah that’s why the bot didn’t have shades, gotta use the genuine Stiller ones

==>

Page 40, and the start of this sounds a lot like the Postscript.  But we’re getting more this time, thank god.

ARADIA: when i watched as everything broke apart ARADIA: and got swallowed up by the black hole ARADIA: which is where i ended up too ARADIA: that black hole... ARADIA: thats basically you right JADE: yes. ARADIA: and when you speak of your brother ARADIA: thats lord english JADE: yes. ARADIA: and hes dead JADE: not just yet.

Oh shit.  John’s final blow didn’t kill Lord English did it.  Alt!Callie is going to strike the very last killing blow herself isn’t she.

JADE: lesser beings have so much trouble perceiving divinity in the uncanny.

Divinity?  Like, Lollipop-style divinity?  I mean, I guess this IS the Candy branch...?  But what made this so “perfect” to begin with?

JADE: this world, unlike the canonical horrors from which it is hermetically insulated, will always fail to meet the combined criteria for truth, relevance, and essentiality that would endow this realm with any real gravity. JADE: its own naturally occurring supply of gravity, rather than the artificial supply i have given it. JADE: as such, what transpires here is characterized by experiential frivolity. JADE: physically, it is cordoned off by the black hole’s event horizon. it is safe. untouchable. JADE: inescapable. ARADIA: that sounds ominous

Oh.  So this outside-of-canon timeline-verse whatever that Candy takes place in is like a trap?  For Lord English to be trapped in forever, inside not just his OWN story like we thought before but into a place where he’ll be forever irrelevant, while, like... the “Prince” and others following him for pursuit or camaraderie reasons manage to escape somewhere even different?  --No wait those people are OUTSIDE this place, in the “real” timeline/universe of Earth C. So Dirk’s destination is somewhere completely different; oh, and alt!Callie is the only one with the power to escape the black hole, to bring Davebot and Aradia with her back to quote-unquote “canon” or the closest thing to it to bring bastard Dirkbro down.

Or... something.

JADE: one could describe it as a phantasmal projection confined within my horizon. JADE: it was created by a choice that made it possible for that horizon to expand infinitely, to consume infinitely. JADE: and since that choice could not coexist with canon events, this place manifested to here to support its consequences. JADE: if this world were capable of anything either essential, relevant, or true in some stable combination, then it would perpetuate a corrosive paradox. JADE: as such, insulation from what is out there, and the inescapable well it rests in, is what protects all it holds inside. JADE: and since i am the embodiment of the black hole in which it rests, JADE: i am the one protecting this world.

Oh huh.  So when we saw alt!Callie creating the black hole out of the Sun, she was actually using John’s “choice” and his timeline split to engineer the paradox that drove that singularity’s expansion?  And so she’s going to be the lord and safeguard of all that is Non-Canon, and also seek to guide the heroes trying to save what IS Canon?

Hm!

JADE: physical destruction is one thing. JADE: obliteration of the entire canvas for all of reality over a given cosmic span is another. JADE: and yet there are even more insidious forms of destruction and subversion of life to consider. JADE: methods that are difficult to grasp for those on your plane.

Yep, destroying Heart.  Destroying Soul.  Destroying the uniqueness that drives individual agency and choices, and suborning people completely to your will and ideals without their consent or choice.

Hmm....

JADE: but longer stories have the power to draw consciousness into them. they possess arresting and hypnotic qualities which can be used by their tellers to alter the awareness of the listener.

Yep, like a biased narrator with their claws on the > prompt for characters.

JADE: i brought to your attention that the story you were listening to had a speaker with a specific identity. JADE: and where there is an identity, there can also be an agenda.

Yep yep.  And by commandeering the story to his own agenda, Dirk’s been robbing everyone of a fundamental right to their own existences.

JADE: this is the sort of corruption i now must dedicate my existence in this new body to ending once and for all.

Heck Yes; returning the narrative to as objective a speakerless-ness as can be attained or simulated, and divesting the bias from agenda’d narrators that can wrest all control from the participants in a story, enslaving them and making them the author’s puppets instead of true to themselves as characters, people, etc.

--Oh my GOSH, was Dead!Jade eating the remains of Lord English at the end of that Postscript???  She was, wasn’t she?  :D :D :D

That’s pretty fucking awesome.  And a pretty fucking fair fate for him to get cannibalized by his sister.

JADE: consume his body. JADE: absorb his essence. JADE: and then using this host, i will generate enough power to move beyond the staggering pull of the event horizon encasing this world. JADE: a prison of my own making, which can be escaped only through the supreme unification with my other half. JADE: it is crucial to the cosmos that i succeed. JADE: the prince of heart has to be stopped.

:D :D :D :D :D

Pretty awesome!  A decent setup to a story that probably shouldn’t be told, the implied sequel that Meat invites up or whatever.  And... oh phew.

Oh PHEW.

OH FUCKING PHEW. HOLD ON.

So.  The very last line of the epilogue, the last bit:

The hole leaves behind an absence in the sky so calm that continuing to call it a sky wouldn’t seem to do it justice. It’s a perfectly neutral expanse into which anything one can imagine might be summoned. And for a while, anything was. But not anymore. Where the hole gaped just moments ago, there now exists an imaginary line.

Above this line resides all that matters. Below exists all else. Never again the twain shall meet.

Okay!  :D :D :D

So, when I read that last line, I was INCREDIBLY disheartened.  I thought that Andrew was declaring that canon would never interfere with anything again, that this was the FINAL WORD on Homestuck and everything to do with it as far as canon was concerned, and that Dirk’s crimes and such would forever go unresolved and left to the imagination.

But that’s not what the line meant.

What’s INSIDE the singularity, and thus “under” the imaginary line, is everything non-canon, all the possibility and fanfiction and dead ghosts and such who are trapped in this safeguarded realm alt!Callie created to protect them, away from the influence of any future plot danger beyond the mundane issues they create for themselves.

And what’s OUTSIDE the singularity, above the line, is canon.  A canon which actually continues, and which this line doesn’t necessarily cut short.

I don’t know if Andrew will ever continue this nonsense, maybe to show me a Rose who’s actually happy as a robot or something?  But... er, that’s not the point.  The point is that even though the story “isn’t over”, it’s left so it CAN continue, so that the final state of these ISN’T a permanent cliffhanger to be left forever unfulfilled intentionally.  I’ll still be traumatized by the state some of these characters are left in, until Andrew maybe possibly chooses to resolve some of this nonsense with later content, which he probably won’t.  Heck, this actually might be easier for him to create a new work with, given how much baggage has been left behind on old Earth and in the singularity, so all you have is a much relatively smaller cast of characters on a chase to wherever Dirk is planning to go?  But, like.  When I read that Postscript, I stopped believing anyone I saw suggesting we’d get anything after this.  Any sort of work of... you know... continuing, er, Homestuckiness from Andrew, no matter what it was.  But even just... leaving it open even if he isn’t going to DO anything about it, and having that final line NOT be an aggressive cutoff?  Is just nice.  Nicer, anyway.

And this singularity is kept safe for us to enjoy ALL of the old stuff, the multitude of possibility that the in-singularity version of Roxy glimpses out of the side of her eye.  That--

Oh my Gosh.  THAT’S also what the final line means.

Above this line resides all that matters. Below exists all else. Never again the twain shall meet.

Homestuck fanfiction is now COMPLETELY FREE FROM CANON.

Within this singularity, nothing has to stay true to absolutely every underpinning of the earlier comic.  Nothing has to make sense.  Nothing has to be narratively consistent with anything else, though it’s obviously more enjoyable if it is.  Truth, essentiality, and relevance may all be FLEXED as much as any individual fanfic writer needs to!  And... and earlier, before this epilogue.  When we would get Snapchat stuff of the story on Earth C.  And even before that when all we had was the ending flash.  There was still a FEAR on many parts that there was more to canon that Andrew wasn’t telling us, that whatever was in our imaginations about what may have happened was “wrong”, that any fanfic you wrote was liable to be disproven formally.  But that’s not the case anymore.  Because with that line, with alt!Callie sealing off this realm and taking just a last few soon-to-be canon-impactors out of one of its timelines, Andrew has left ALL of the earlier trappings of Homestuck, of Earth, of all these characters and ghosts and fragmented possibilities, permanently free from canon influence from the rest of time.  Meaning no Homestuck fanfic that takes place in this singularity-granted realm may EVER be busted by Andrew’s future work.  He’s done what he first aspired to do when he declared all fantrolls in existence canon.  He’s finally “killed the author”.  He’s made the very FACT of an author an enemy, to be pursued in its own canon story outside of all this.  He’s set EVERYTHING free.

Wow.  So that’s what all the point of all this was, huh?  :D

Let me read the last few pages of Candy anyway.  Where was I again?

Oh, about to click the last page.  ==>

Oh my GOD.  This Postscript is about the end of MEAT, where the Meat Postscript showed us the end of CANDY!!!  :D

Let’s hear where this shit is all going!  I’ve been wondering what realm Dirk is actually heading towards to try and start fucking up.  Reading...

...Oh, okay.  I thought I glimpsed someone mentioning something about Rose “doing Dirk’s laundry”, and I thought I just missed some narrative comment on laundry made when Dirk took Rose out of the apartment on that final trip out to Jake’s for a spaceship?  But I guess this was the scene they were talking about.  Fuck you, Dirk.

One of her more reckless shipmates chipped a tooth trying one, despite repeated warnings to stay away from the stuff.

So Terezi IS there?  And probably received that final message from Vriska to think about.

It’s a stray ruby slipper. The other is about ten feet away, down the hall. No sign of their owner anywhere.

Yep, that’s definitely Terezi.

...Oh cool, Rose’s body isn’t quite dead?  She could be returned to it or a souped-up version of it if she’s ever brought to her senses outside Dirk’s corrosive influence.

A new planet is within sensor range. She studies the millions of statistics all pouring in at once.

They’re heading for a planet?  Somewhere else in Universe C?

It’s an M-Class planet. The right size, right age, right distance from the sun. There’s no advanced life yet. It’s exactly what they’ve been looking for all these years.

Shit, a NEW planet?  For all this shit to go down on?  Maybe I don’t need to see what happens next, that sounds potentially a little boring.  The future adventure this story entails COULD just be implied and never followed up on.

Once the new race has established

What race??? Human, hybrid?? It’s not TROLL, y’all would have brought Aradia if that was the case, right?  Or is this why there are tons of trolls in Universe C that Caliborn and Calliope’s parent trolls got to incinerate ages later, seeded across planets by these assholes?

The ones who get the chance to play what will arguably be the most important session in the history of Sburb?

Ahhh.  Okay.  So this may INDEED be something interesting, something worth seeing.  A new session, one where Dirk is the villain, Rosebot is enthralled, and old heroes are on their way to help see him thwarted.  Along with the mystery participants of a session we’ve yet to see.

Enough time goes by that she begins to wonder if he’s asleep. But no. It’s just the irritated silence of a man who knows he isn’t currently dressed well enough to attend to something important.

DIRK: Are my fucking pantaloons ready yet?

Yeah, fuck you and your anime pantaloons straight in the Yaois, Dirk Smartass.

Okay!

So that’s the end of the epilogue.  BOTH epilogues.  And... I like it.

I don’t know why.  I mean it was all excellent before, and my stomach’s still a BIT clenchy, but I like it now.  I misinterpreted things from the Meat ending, and now everything... everything makes a little more sense.  Some things seem resolved, others earned...

And... in a way I feel like I could actually oddly accept, even if there’s never anything that touches on this ever again...

It doesn’t seem “over”.  :)

[jenosweave]

going to hogwarts w/ yuta (pt 1)

pt 1 | pt 2

pls send requests we’re starving and craving popularity

basics

house : slytherin

year : 6

favorite class : charms (so he can fuck with people)

patronus : black stallion

extra info : captain of the quidditch team!! enjoys leading his team to victory and rubbing it in the opposing team’s face

personality

okay so

this Bitch

he’s deadass the funniest person you’ll have ever met

no one hates him everyone admires him (especially incoming first year slytherins who aspire to be on the quidditch team)

surprisingly really smart

hasn’t failed a class yet

all the teachers hate his guts bc of all the jokes and side comments he makes

snape literally fucking LOATHES him bc he said he could fry french fries with all the grease in his hair

he always gets points taken away from his house and is always learning harmless charms to use on people

but his house still loves him

still salty he isn’t gonna be a prefect for his house

dedicated to the quidditch team

never shuts up abt the team and how he “can’t wait to start a great season with all the new and old kids”

don’t @ me but like,, everyone wants to fuck him

relationship

so,, here we go y’all

he’s known all around the school bc he’s a fucking dedicated captain for slytherin’s quidditch team

everyone knows him bc he has led slytherin to victory for the past 3 years

and you are super jealous of his success

you deadass have struggled since your first year to even mount a broom let alone lead a team to 3 consecutive victories

you can barely float 2 inches above the ground

deciding you’ve had ENOUGH with the constant teasing your friends taeyong and doyoung have given you bc you barely passed flying class your first year

you decided you would ask yuta, aka an IDOL and GOD among men to tutor you and help you improve

flying has been a dream of yours ever since you saw your first quidditch match

you were just so EXCITED to learn about flying and then got fucked in the ass day one of flying classes

because you were so incredibly intimidated by yuta, every time you had a chance to ask him to help you,,,, you.. didn’t

doyoung and taeyong knew abt your little crush (though you called it just admiring talent from afar) and LOVED teasing you

as they were both friends with the slytherin, they’d always joke abt mentioning your name to him and exposing your plan

they always reassured you that they wouldn’t actually tell him but then doyoung accidentally let it slip in potions class lol

yuta would be on his normal quidditch rant abt how he hopes incoming first years will try out

like he’d tell yuta abt you and how you can’t fly for shit and yuta would be like..

“who’s y/n? are they that person you always eat with during lunch with taeyong?”

his eyes go WIDE

“u-uhh, yeah. ahahaa”

“oh. they’re cute”

and doyoungs like WOAH HE JUST CALLED Y/N CUTE SHOULD I TELL THEM OR WILL THEY BE MAD THAT I LOWKEY EXPOSED THEM TO THEIR CRUSH

he ends up telling taeyong what he did and they make a little plan to set you two up

doyoung is secretly super good at flying (trust him, yuta has BEGGED him to try out for a spot on slytherin’s team but he kindly declines each time) and would offer to help you until you somehow find a way to get your god, yuta, to help you

but.. he had a plan:

you guys would practice at the same time as the slytherin team

and doyoung would strategically jinx your broom and cause you to go F L Y I N G straight into King yuta

sure yuta would get hurt but it’s not like it would last

and then,,, you would have to visit him in the infirmary

and (hopefully) he’d find you cute

and (hopefully) offer to teach you how to fly

and then bada bing bada boom

relationship formed (or so he thought)

at first, the plan went swimmingly if doyoung did say so himself

you practically JUMPED at his offering to teach you and you didn’t even realize that yuta and the rest of the slytherin team would be practicing at the same time

on the first day, while you rested on your broom, doyoung secretly pulled out his wand and cast a jinx that caused you to shoot into the air

at first, you thought you FINALLY started flying

but then realized you didn’t have any control over the broom

and crashed straight into a body, causing the both of you to go diving towards the floor

ultimately, you landed on the person you crashed into and when you saw them, it was yuta

your skin was PALE

you looked as if you had saw a ghost

he was rushed to the infirmary to heal and spared you a pained smile before being led there by his teammates

everyone was deadass glaring DAGGERS at you

you felt so guilty and hurried back to doyoung to tell him what happened and how dumb you felt and like WOW YOU REALLY JUST INJURED YOUR KIND-OF-CRUSH

like W H A T

you could basically say good fucking bye to being taught how to fly by this god among men

doyoung tells you to go visit him while he’s resting, but you don’t want to get swarmed by all his fan girls and boys that are gonna have your head on a stake lol

he assures you he isn’t mad at ALL

that he’s really carefree and would probably forgive you if you showed somewhat of a sign of resentment

so.. you build up all your courage.. and go to his section in the clinic.. with a bouquet of flowers and in your most presentable robes

you see taeyong and some other slytherins on the quidditch team (plus a couple fangirls) are by his side

as soon as you enter, everyone’s heads SNAP to look at you and everyone (minus taeyong and surprisingly, yuta) glares at you or gives you a weird look

yuta tells everyone to shoo so he can talk to you in private,,,, which just by the sound gave you immense anxiety XD

he motioned for you to sit down and gave you the brightest and most genuine smile you’ve received in a while

and rest assured,, it made your jitters go away and caused a flutter in your stomach

“so,, y/n, right?”

YOU ABOUT C H O K E D

HOW DID HE KNOW YOUR NAME DID DOYOUNG OR TAEYONG TELL YOU OR DID SOMEONE WHO SAW WHAT HAPPENED TELL HIM

you almost shat yourself

“y-yeah.”

after sitting in silence you realized you should probably apologize

so you look up at yuta and see him just casually staring at you as if waiting for something

you stutter like hell over your words but go to hand him the bouquet and give the most sincere apologize you could muster

he ultimately accepts your apology but he isn’t finished

“i’ll accept it... but only if...”

you gulped shaking at the thought of what he could possibly request

“you let me teach you how to fly”

your eyes widened and you froze at his words

THIS WAS YOUR DREAM

HOW THE FUCK DID HE FIND OUT YOU CAN FLY FOR SHIT WHAT

[barnesandnobleoffanfictions]

Addiction

Pairing: Sherlock x Reader

Request: Hi! I was wondering if I could send in a request? Maybe one that is very angsty; the reader and sherlock have a very compelling case, like the one in series four where sherlock develops a MASSIVE drug habit (for the case) and the reader does too. Only, she can’t simply ‘stop’ as easily as sherlock can, and he tries to help her before its too late? Also, if the pairing could be platonic, that’d be great! So sorry if it’s too specific. You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to!

A/N: Really sorry if this didn’t come out how you’d like, i tried my best to stay with the prompt. This is my first request ever so I’m really nervous abt this one bc i think it sucks.

Warnings: Drug usage, mild swearing, angst, and SPOILERS

It had been 7 months since Mary died. Through out this entire time you had been there for both Sherlock and John. Comforting John as he became a widower and a single father. And helping Sherlock over come his guilt. It was only until recently that the boys started talking again, rekindling their friendship after the arrest of Smith. John still lives on own with Rosie, leaving Sherlock by himself once again. You lived on your own several towns away from London but still made the trip to visit Sherlock. You both didn’t expect much out of each other and that’s why you made such good friends.

You’d met simply by chance just passing by on the streets of London. After several more awkward encounters you and Sherlock had gotten close. He expected you to desert him during the few weeks he was off the deep end doing heavy drugs and stumbling about. It was you who proved him wrong and checked up on him before and after work. Helping him to bed when he got too rowdy and pulling him off the living room floor when he passed out.

Since his quick recovery Sherlock had been trying to get back to his normal, arrogant self. You considered yourself lucky that he was able to go cold turkey on the drugs, seeing how it was purely to help John’s case. In John’s absence you picked up a few loose ends in Sherlock’s cases. Eventually Sherlock considered you and John his two best friends.

You walked up to Baker street with your hands shoved into your coat pockets. You had just finished your day shift waitressing and received a few texts from Sherlock.

“(Y/n) I need you, come quickly. - SH”

“The sooner the better. -SH”

“(Y/n). -SH”

“S.O.S. -SH”

You came still branding your work shirt, but the puffy coat you wore covered it. A black beanie covered your ears and the autumn wind brushed past. You opened up the door of the building not bothering to knock. “Hello.” You called up the stairs, unzipping your coat and kicking off your boots.

Sherlock appeared at the top of the stairs. “Where have you been?” He asked dramatically. “I rang you several times.” You shook your head and laughed. “You always do that.” You started to walk up the stairs to meet him. “I told you it was urgent.” He pressed grabbing hold of your wrist and pulling you up the stairs faster. “It’s always urgent with you Sherlock. If you only rang me once then I’d know something was really wrong.” You teased sarcastically letting him pull you along.

When you and Sherlock made it to the living room he let go of your wrist and turned to face you. “I need your help.”

You looked around the messy flat, seeing papers and empty files scattered about. “What’s going on?” You asked shifting your weight. “I have a case.” He announced loudly walking to the window in the corner. As he stared out to the street you bit your lip and looked at him thoughtfully. “I’m not really seeing the issue here Sherlock. You love having cases, what’s wrong with this one?”

He looked you over to you, a deep scowl set on his face. “This one has to do with drugs. Not just any drugs, my drugs.” You glanced to the kitchen quickly, eyeing the chemistry set on the table. “You make drugs now huh?” You scoffed. You bit your bottom lip nodding your head in disbelief. “No I don’t make them I reproduce them. I have a case where a client says they were under the influence of a certain drug on the night an accident happened. I wasn’t able to get the same amount he had reported using. So I got a sample from him and made more of it. To the quantity he said he’d consumed that night. Now as a recovering addict and the host of this experiment I can’t consume the drugs to test his alibi. If a person consumes these drugs and becomes debilitated then we know it was an accident and most likely not him. If the person who consumes them is fine, my client is a murderer.” He explained quickly rushing about the room references to the table and papers as he spoke.

“So you called me here to do your dirty drugs?” You clarified sarcastically. Sherlock sighed loudly pinching the bridge of his nose. “In a sense, yes. I don’t have anyone else to do it.” He said following you as you turned to leave. You wanted to help Sherlock but you knew that in taking the drugs you were somewhat becoming like him. That side of him you fought with and stuck by those few terrible weeks would now come back in you. You were worried about what you’d say if you were high, you’d never done it before and didn’t know what toll it would take on your mind. You saw how insane they’d made Sherlock, how infuriating and rude they caused him to be. You knew that in saying this he would never understand.

“I’m sorry Sherlock, they’ve ruined too much in my life already. I won’t let them ruin me too.” You didnt look at him, you simply slipped through the door and closed it behind you.

You’d just spoiled an entire case for Sherlock. Instead of respecting your words he was infuriated by them. He had always sacrificed everything for his cases, and that’s why he did the drugs before. He didn’t do them out of selfishness. Sherlock didn’t bother looking after you outside the window. He was too frustrated to worry after you, now he had to try to find someone else who would be able to assist him without John or Mycroft finding out. Molly was not an option, she would surely refuse and Sherlock didn’t want to ask her to taint herself like that. Settling down by the fireplace he resorted to his mind palace for other options.

Work had dragged on the next day for you. Business was slow giving you much more time than you needed to be alone and think. You decided you text Sherlock, hoping that he’d figured it out and solved the case.

“Morning!”

The door bell chimed, signaling another costumer had come in. You went to greet them at the door ushering them to a table and returning with menus. As you introduced yourself you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. After a short chat you made your way back into the kitchen fetching your phone out. “Oh it is. Have you decided to help? - SH”

Your heart sunk slightly, this telling you both that he hadn’t slept and that he was mad at you. You hesitated while thinking of a reply.

“I’m sure that you can find other ways.”

You went to put your phone away when it buzzed in your hand again.

“This is the only way, I’ve tried to think of other options. No other candidates and I must keep this secret from Mycroft. - SH”

“I can come over after my shift and help you.”

“If you’re not going to do the drugs then you’re useless to me. - SH”

You locked your phone and threw it in your purse not replying. Walking to your table you couldnt help but agree with Sherlock. You meant nothing to him until you did something he needed.

Arriving at your flat later on you felt like absolute shit. You let Sherlock’s few words bend you out of shape. Before Mary died you had been a newly recruited friend. Mostly seeing the boys out the door safely and assisting with babysitting Rosie. You’d even been watching her the night Mary took the shot for Sherlock in the aquarium. You’d only heard about it when John came home alone early in the morning completely destroyed. You were sleeping on the couch in the living room, Rosie’s baby monitor next to your ear. As the early morning sun snaked in through the curtains you saw John open the door with heavy arms. They fell to his side as more sunlight escaped into the room. His eyes were red and he has blood on the front of his clothes.

You rushed to him in panic putting your hands on his shoulders. “John what happened to you?” He looked at you with glossy eyes. A torn expression was haunting his face. “Mary is gone. If you would, I need some time alone.” He pushed your hands away and walked past you without another word. You stayed in the house like a ghost until Molly came to watch after Rosie. You went home later that afternoon and broke down in the shower. Laying on the floor of the tub you came to the realization that the only person who ever listened to you was gone.

You were never really able to mourn Mary. You went from chasing the boys out the door to chasing their demons away when they broke down. You knew that you weren’t really helping either of them to get closure. But John always assured you that he needed you there to support him. Although Sherlock never said a word of gratitude or protest you knew he needed someone too. The times you held him in your arms while he cried was enough proof of that to keep you returning, even as things got worse with him.

You sat at your dining room table with a bottle of vodka overthinking. You still were completely dressed from work and it was nearing 11:30. You didnt have to work the next day so you took your time getting up and running yourself a bath. You walked with the bottle firmly in your hands taking long drinks from it and undressing in your room. You wrapped yourself in a robe and sat on the closed toilet seat as the tub filled. Putting music on you threw your phone on the counter and shut the door. You lowered yourself in the water letting your hair down.

As the alcohol started taking its toll on you your emotions attacked you in waves. You cried in between your fury at Sherlock and your apparent helplessness. Your phone vibrated a few times. You took another sip from the bottle. You sat up pulling your hair out of your face and over your shoulders. Pulling your knees up to your chest you rested your arms around them. You closed your eyes taking in the warmth of the room. A few minutes went by that you sat like that. You almost believed you could have fell asleep in that momentary peacefulness. Your phone went off again, much more urgently this time. A call was coming through but you had no will or desire to figure out who it was coming from. Instead you took the bottle your lips and finished off the drink.

The last half hour of your bath you stared off into the wall. Your sadness weighed so heavy in your chest, you could feel it in the very back of your throat. You ran out of the energy to cry, you couldn’t feel enough at one time to really let it all out. So you sat there as the water began to drain and you basked in the pain, finally being able to stop ignoring how you felt. You couldnt decide if you’d like more how you felt when you cast your feelings away or when you let them over take you. You sat in the bath until all the water dried off your body and only stayed dripping at the end of your hair. Your music had turned off long ago, but you only realized as you listened to the drain drinking up the water that fell from the leaky faucet.

Somehow you got up and made your way to the liquor cabinet. Taking out another bottle you roamed your house in your robe. Your hair dripping on your back trailing your aimless steps for no one in particular to follow. You ended up perched on the windowsill in your bedroom. You had one leg dangling off the side and the other bent in front of you. You looked out to the city drinking once more and you felt you were too small in the scheme of life to have such an overpowering sadness.

Your alarm clock told you it was after three but you still went to your closet to throw on a jumper and some leggings. The one you picked was over sized and faded, it slipped from your shoulder. You tied your hair up in a lazy ponytail and grabbed your bag. You walked out of your flat holding your keys and the new bottle. You knew you were going to regret going out, but you decided that even for a little while you wanted to stop feeling.

Sherlock was shocked to hear you stomping up the stairs a little while later. While your movements were loud and uncoordinated you said nothing. He studied you, seeing how your hair was still damp and your bag hung loosely on your shoulder. While your hands were both empty he could smell the alcohol on you. You seemingly had been drinking quite a lot upon your arrival. It was now after four and neither of you had slept.

“You’re drunk.” Sherlock stated as he watched you from his spot lounging on the couch. You smiled taking a deep breath. “I dunno why everyone thinks you’re a genius, I believe that’s quite obvious.” You said crudely. While you knew to be wary because he was mad at you, you couldn’t help but let a little of your own anger saunter through. “I’d figure the walk would’ve sobered you up a bit. You must have been drinking a lot to still be so affected.” Sherlock rewet his lips with his tongue quickly, almost sticking it out at you. “Well maybe I was drinking the whole way here to make sure I didn’t sober up.” You responded throwing your bag onto the floor.

You turned around and looked him straight in the eyes. “I’ll do it Sherlock.” He raised an eyebrow at you turning what you said over in his mind. “You’re only agreeing because you’re drunk.”

“This is the only way you’re going to get me to do it. We both need this for very different reasons.” You argued balling your hands into fists. “I’m giving you what you want.”

Sherlock stood from the couch walking into the kitchen. You noticed he hadn’t changed since the last time you saw him. He came back with a little box motioning you to come over to the table in the middle of the room. You knelt down besides it and rolled your sleeves up, letting him dose you with whatever drug he needed you to be on. “I adjusted the amount to account for your previous intoxication. It will only take a few minutes for you to feel this. If anything feels wrong let me know.” He packed up everything and disappeared into the kitchen.

You got up and sunk into his spot on the couch. Part of you felt disgusted at yourself. You split into the traitor and the victim inside. You crossed your legs, looking down at your lap. You picked at the loose skin on your fingers with your nails. Sherlock watched from his spot in the kitchen. He was pretending not to look at you, but he couldn’t take his eyes away. He was watching you as the test subject and as his best friend. When he looked at you in the perspective of the experiment you were internalizing all of the effects, obviously causing you to be drowsy and slow with your movements. You bit your lip roughly and stayed adamant about twiddling your fingers. It was becoming increasingly hard for you to focus on what you were doing. Seeing you as his best friend, he watched as you fought a war inside your head silently. You only came here to try to sign the treaty of peace with yourself.

You woke up to your limbs feeling heavy and your thoughts swimming in your brain. John stood across the room from you watching you as you pushed yourself up on your elbows. It was cloudy outside, giving the room an eerie coldness. “Seems like you found out huh?” You asked weakly moving your legs off the couch so you could sit up. Your stomach lurched sending you standing upright much too fast and rushing to the bathroom. John came along helping you on your way. He held your hair as you threw up in the toilet, shaking and coughing. Tears ran down your face as you kneeled over the bowl. Your throat was sore and your stomach pumped itself repeatedly until you were only spitting the taste out of your mouth.

You pulled yourself back as John flushed everything away. You rested your back on the wall besides you. You were shaking and your breathing was erratic. “I can’t believe he made you fucking do this.” John said harshly. “I asked him to.” You said lowly looking at the floor besides you. “You were pissed drunk and didn’t even know what you were doing. He took advantage of that just to get what he wanted.” John was flushed with anger. You shook your head at him reaching out with your hand. “I wanted this, I didn’t want to feel anymore.” You had only started to defend Sherlock when you felt the bile rush up your throat once more. John stayed with you a while, rubbing your back and comforting you. He stayed beside you when you pressed your hot face to the bathroom floor and cried for mercy to your body. “There’s nothing left in me. Please stop.”

You continued to cry even when your stomach settled, repeating the same lines over and over again. Wishing to have mercy from your mind that wouldn’t let you live down the fact that even as John sat inches away you had no one that really cared about you. John’s heart broke as he watched you fall apart on the floor, not knowing how much you were unraveling beneath him. And as Sherlock was heard coming back into the apartment John rose to meet him and blame him for all of your distress. Sherlock was too happy about his results to mind John’s harsh words. However he did come to see you in the bathroom and sat a few feet away.

John slammed the door on the way out, signaling that you were alone. Sherlock watched you crying, face pressed into the floor wondering what was going through your mind. “Are you okay?” He asked swallowing a lump in his throat. You didn’t answer at first knowing your voice would betray you. In a shaky breath you whispered out a simple, “No.” You met eyes with him, feeling hollow inside. “I’m not alright at all.”

—

You had pulled Sherlock out of drug houses many times over the last few years, never did you imagine you’d be in one without him.

It didnt take much for you to find his contacts in his apartment. You also knew he’d never expect you to look for them, never mind seek a particular one out. However you should have expected his contact to call him after you met but for some reason you didnt. You had been running back and forth from your flat to the dealers for a week. You took a leave off of work originally, but quit a few days following. The drugs had made it easier to let go and stop caring about things you knew that mattered. You let your phone die a couple of days ago, and when John appeared at your door you pretended that you weren’t home.

It was two weeks since you’ve been to Sherlock’s apartment and three since the night you first started the drugs. John came by twice once on his own and once with Lestrade. You heard him outside the door insisting something was wrong, but Lestrade couldn’t force his way in if there was seemingly nothing going on.

You had shot up about an hour ago and you were still riding out your high. You sat on the floor in your living room pushing your dinner around the plate. You heard people walking past your door occasionally and when two voices stopped in front of it you wrote it off as being the neighbors. Your TV was much too loud for you to notice the voices were John and Sherlock. You were also much to high to realize that the clicking you were hearing was the lock of your front door being picked.

It was only when the door burst open with a loud bang that you realized you weren’t getting out of this. Sherlock and John stood outside the door, one shocked to see you standing there and the other unimpressed. You stood quickly, accidentally sending your dinner onto the rug. Your breathing became quick and heavy as you back away from them. “What are you doing here?” You panicked looking around the room frantically. You moved to the couch, picking a pillow up and throwing it at them. “Get out! Get out! Get the fuck out!” You screamed launching more at them. John stepped back horrified as angry tears streamed down your face. You marched to the door. “I dont want you here. Either of you! Did you not get the hint when I shut myself in here?” You yelled straight in Sherlock’s face trying hard to control your breathing. He stood still, not flinching at your words or your volume. “You get the fuck out of here!” You screamed again pushing him backwards with all of your strength. “I just want to be alone and-” “Get high.” Sherlock interrupted. “Ignore everything.” You finished. From over his shoulder you could see John looking at you in disbelief. “You’re fucking high? That’s what you’ve been doing holed up in here?” The mix of anger and annoyance in his tone hit you hard.

“No.” You said, the same time as Sherlock said “Yes.”

“I am not getting high.” You defended. Sherlock grabbed your arm and pulled you further into the apartment. John following behind and shutting the door. When he turned around Sherlock grabbed your arm and showed it to him. Multiple puffy needle marks riddled the inside of your arm. You stayed quiet but roughly pulled your arm from his fingers. “Where is all of it?” Sherlock snapped. “Find it yourself.” You spit back crossing your arms over your chest. With that the two men disappeared into your flat until they returned with all the drugs you had.

John tried his best to remain calm but ended up yelling a long lecture in your face until he realized it was no good and saw himself out. Sherlock said nothing. He simply stood across the room from you and retrieved the pillows from the floor. He grabbed a waste basket and threw the bags of drugs in there along with the few needles you had. He fetched a lighter from your kitchen and you watched the only thing that ever made the pain stop burn into nothing.

You didn’t have any tears to cry and you searched for the words to say. You sunk to the floor in your place and stared at the trash defeated. Sherlock broke the silence. “Why did you do this?” You didn’t answer him instead you asked, “Why did you do that?” Your voice cracked at the end.

Sherlock cleared his throat looking around the room. “This is very selfish of you.” You looked at him in disbelief. “Says you! I was the one who sat around and took care of your pathetic ass while you were higher than Mount Everest.”

He bit his lip sighing frustratedly. “Everyone thought you were okay.” You started to stand, “Oh so just because it’s what everyone thinks then it’s right yeah?” You threw you hands up mockingly. “So tell me Sherlock, when do I get to not be okay? When are people going to start being there for me?” You yelled feeling your eyes start to get glassy and you were tripping on the words as to they came out of your mouth. Sherlock hesitated looking around the room in guilt. While he thought of what to say you continued. “I’m always there for everyone else, always putting people before me.” Your voice stayed strong but tears spilled over onto your cheeks. You made your way closer to him wiping your cheek with the heel of your palm. “I’m always taking care of people and no one ever takes care of me.”

Sherlock felt his heart grow heavier as he watched you stand before him broken and vulnerable. He wanted to cheer you up and bring you back to your normal self. However a part of him felt like you’d turn to the drugs to hide these feelings because he never paid attention to them before. “I never knew that you needed someone like this (y/n).” Sherlock rested his hand on your shoulder. “I tried to make it obvious, I tried to let it show hoping somebody would notice. But no body did, not one of you. Not even when I said it straight to your face.” You spit back looking away from him.

Sherlock started to feel desperate to convince you this wasnt the way to handle your feelings. Although before he made you feel like you had no other option and he didn’t try to find other ways to help. “This isnt what you should do (y/n).” Sherlock said, his voice cracked on your name. “You do the same thing. I was just trying to forget how useless I am.” You spoke slowly looking down at your fingers pulling at the hem of your t-shirt. “You’re not useless to me, you’re my best friend.” He pleaded putting his hand on your cheek to try to get you to look at him. “That’s where you’re wrong. I am useless, you’re just one of the few who’s ever admitted it.” As you finished Sherlock felt himself shatter into a million pieces as he recalled what he said to you those few weeks ago.

“I lost the only person who ever listened to me. I never got to say goodbye and now I never get to let things out. I keep trying to open up and you shut me down.” You were becoming hysterical furiously wiping the tears from your face. “I will listen (y/n) I promise. I care about you. I lost Mary too, I don’t want to be the reason I lose another friend.” Sherlock insisted.

“Then start treating me like one.”

TAGS : @oneshotsdeanshort

[leonbastralle]

Rosa Pt.2

Honestly sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t mind you disappearing because your catching up stuff always makes me extra happy XD I honestly don’t know how you do it.

grumpysimmies replied to your photo “Before my followers raise a mutiny because these guys are no longer in...”

AND I WILL DON'T WORRY YOU KNOW I LOVE THESE

I do ;_; the first couple q&a would have been nothing without you.

grumpysimmies replied to your post “Replies To The Spammers”

I'm looking forwards to get to know the chars you have yet to talk about xD

all my Ryders to be (Jian&Des, plus Olympia and Chikelu) are the most wip characters ever so there’s really not much to say (apart from how much I love Jian and Des’ dynamic)

grumpysimmies replied to your post “Replies To The Spammers”

You can never take too much moments to appreciate how cute a sim/char can be

true too, it gets weird tho when it’s your own

grumpysimmies replied to your post “Replies To The Spammers”

I'd personally come for them if they had something to say about ficus ._____.

same

grumpysimmies replied to your post “Replies To The Spammers”

I'm forever indebted to Carys since Flame's never going to age up xD

I will make sure to pass it on ;)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Happy birthday, Snowdrift Miracle (10/21)! When a char isn’t even...”

I'm still not over this

we will never be over them I assure you

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “@pixeldemographics dared me to do this, so I did it. This isn’t THE...”

AS IF I DIDN'T LOVE FICUS WAY TOO MUCH ALREADY

I’M SO SORRY I DIDN’T EXPECT IT TO TURN OUT THIS WAY (expect to also love Aur, Flame, Snowdrift, Tabasco and Shine a lot more at some point...just saying. Things might or might not be happening.)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

Remind me to never get on your bad side Annie xD

it’s...not hard? tbh. But I wouldn’t let it get this far unless it’s a repetitive thing XD plus I couldn’t be mean irl, worst thing I’d do is rant abt a nameless friend to another friend

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Salim: Nononono! You can’t do this! It’s illegal! Shine: I can’t do...”

I LOVE HOW SHINE IS ENJOYING THIS WAY TOO MUCH

tbh I ruined the poor innocent child

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Salim: Ugh! Neighbor, what is it! It’s not even late this time! Not...”

You shouldn't Salim

that doesn’t work Rosa we tried

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Do you see this face? This face is the face of someone who is up to no...”

All the Salims I know are assholes xD

OOOOO I NEED TO KNOW MORE

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “G: Uh, hi neighbor. S: Hey. G: … S: … G: … S: … G: … S: … G: … S: … G:...”

Also me whenever I'm with someone I'm not used to

same

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “T: Uh…Opal, why are you crying? O: *sobs* I just…I just love Sprout so...”

Same

same

...xD

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

LOOK AT THIS PRECIOUS CHILD

I KNOW

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “When she’d calmed down, I sent her to visit some old pals! I mostly...”

I guess this answered my question about not seeing Sprout Jewel and Bonsai anymore xD

evidently ;) and this isn’t the end either! Just you waittttt

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Flame is more than happy to see his son again!”

And I'm more than happy to see him

why am I not surprised XD

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

I hope it's their tent and not the kids'

it was xD Sparkle and the girls shared the big one.

grumpysimmies replied to your post “Look mum I brushed my hair!”

But seriously I feel like it's so hard actually find lasting friends from uni (but it's their loss if they ignore you)

is it rly tho? like it obviously hurts me too so it’s also my loss xD but yeah...I agree it IS difficult. I feel like ppl are at that point in life where they are no longer looking for permanent close friends?

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

It's really pretty ;-;

it is! I’m so glad I finally got to explore it a bit, the scenery is the best ;_; and my berry name for it is even better tbh.

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

It looks like she's sniffing sun rays xD

AAAAAA THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE PERF GEN YELLOW THING I WILL CRY

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “#tinybeanconfirmed”

I died.

do you think I didn’t

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “T: Do you…do you think I’m a bad mum? S: *gasps* Trellis, please… T:...”

Shine may deserve the worLD BUT YOU ARE THE WORLD TRELLIS ;________;

JDAHBSJHGBJSHGBAJKSHFBAKSJFANKSJGBANSKJGBDF

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “G: Oh look at this! I love this movie, it’s so funny! C: But my cake…...”

Cake cannot wait

it’s wisdom

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “B: These kids, man. What did the boss mix into his aniseed to make...”

ALL THE KIDS TOGETHER

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “B: These kids, man. What did the boss mix into his aniseed to make...”

NOW THAT WOULD'VE BEEN PERFECT IF GLOW WAS THERE

I KNOW AND I KNOW ;-;

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “S: Geoffrey? Hey, buddy! Wait up!!”

Worst case he'd die from the serum no big deal

well Shimmer is...still alive I think (okay yeah she is she’s in the posts later)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Their flat is ACTUALLY haunted. Pathi is good with ghosts though,...”

I still can't believe they actually love the fact it's haunted ._.

they’re really into this stuff xD my little adrenaline junkies

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

THIS OH MAN THIS

I KNOW (you’ll love the next bit of the queue)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “S: 8D

He always look so suave I love him

you think? ;_; cause he isn’t

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Have I ever told you that you’re an idiot?” “Not in the last twenty...”

This shot of them is too good too beautiful I can't

AAAAAAAA ;_; I was so disappointing cause I wanted a different pose but I think in the end this WAS a great one so...yeah. Why did I start this again?

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “G: Hi! Thank you for adopting me! Everyone else said I’m too...”

YOU'RE NOT TOO BOISTEROUS YOU'RE PERFECT

SHE IS BUT SHE DOESN’T KNOW

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “yes simself cameo judge me”

Look at that smile ;-;

she’s too pretty it’s not okay

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Dear diary! Tomorrow I’m getting a new sister. Her name is Glade and...”

Connie you pure child ;____;

SHE IS MY MOST NAIVE BABY

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “a mad bab”

I wanna pinch her cheeks

dude me too but in that moment she’d have hated you

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Coexisting peacefully.”

I love how it seems that Shine is tenderly laughing at Trellis for being a goof and that's just way too fucking cute I can't ;________;

sjhfbjsakhjbgsjgdskjdf

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

TRUE

IDK WHAT TO REPLY ANY MORE

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “A wonderful glitchy family.”

It looks very painful xD

and beautiful

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “The many faces of Ficus Elderberry, bonus Snowdrift.”

I SAY THIS ANYTIME I SEE HIM BUT HIS FACE

HE HAS ONE YES JUST IMAGINE

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “I apologise for the German, but basically, Malachite keeps messaging...”

HE'D BETTER FEEL GUILTY

I’d say something but it’d be spoilers

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Some miraculously good ice cream!”

Now I wanna eat some

not me I’m so cold

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset

CAN I HUG THIS CHILD PLS

I WISH YOU COULD

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Browsing parenting forums!”

Me (except I'm not pregnant and I don't even have lover)

I think google probably thinks I’m pregnant all the time because I keep looking at names

grumpysimmies replied to your post “Annie of Green Cheeks says Hi”

The cutest chipmunk ;____;

brah nah

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “He proceeded to invade their personal space. At least he was quiet so...”

He's got a way with charming his new neighbors

not really...at this point they’re actual in game enemies

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Oh yay here we go… S: Hey, neighbors! Could you please tone it down a...”

How.dare.he.compare.donut.trumpet.to.aur.

I was mad and now his char is ten times worse than he rly is

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “T: So you’re sure the Sparkles clan doesn’t need this flat any more?...”

Does that mean we won't get to see Jewel and Bonsai and even Sprout? :c

;)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “F: I KNOW YOU WANT ME YOU KNOW I WANT CHA I KNOW YOU WANT MEEEEE-HEE...”

THE FACE HE'S MAKING TOTALLY MAKES IT UP FOR THE SONG

what do you mean this song is gr8 it sums things up just well

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Celebratory dancing!”

HOW CUTE IS SHE

VERY

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “T: Okay, I still feel kind of bad. It’s your parents’ closet after...”

and who knows what said parents did in that closet xD

...it’s confirmed they did A LOT and so did their grandparents

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “T: Wait - Shine! Before you go inside! I, um, you know I’m not much of...”

These babies ;____________;

I know ;_;

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “R: Glow!!!! Will you take me out? G: Uh, sure! I mean, I just got here...”

and I'm hopeless when it comes to him

good good he needs more fans always

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “A: Take my hand, love, and never let go. F: Stop it, I’m gonna cry.”

I'm gonna cry too

I did tbh

grumpysimmies replied to your post “˜º for Pointy?”

I hate beetroots too xD

I have a weird relationship with them...I love them but they must be very few

grumpysimmies replied to your post “˜º Flame!

I wanna eat his ice cream ;__;

I wanna eat everything vegetarian he makes because he’s so good (and watch him make it it’s a show)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “this doesn’t go with the storyline but lookit Sprout is so pretty”

I die every time I look at this beautiful child (and all the other beautiful children on this simblr let's be real)

;_________; DONT

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “F: Son! So good to see you around! How are you doing are you good?”

YES it's very good to see him around ;___;

as always ;)

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “Here’s a ton of Gabefaces cause I can’t choose one or two or three xD...”

oh man it's actually very nice to put faces on names xD

ohhhhh right this must be the first time you see his original self! I’m obsessed with his face tbh

grumpysimmies replied to your photoset “S: Trellis! You came! T: Of course I did! It was no work at all to...”

my brain stopped at 'pretty face'

Shine’s too