#gg&g: dead drop ��️ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

trashpandaorigins · 4 years ago

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The Body Keeps the Score Ch. 22 Windows to the Soul

"You said it yourself bitch, we're the Guardians of the Galaxy." Gamora is finally a part of something. But the past always follows you, eats at you and she must come to grips with her deeds as she tries to build a future. Meanwhile Rocket has never cared much for anyone or anything. Together the two of them discover they are more alike than different and try to heal themselves by befriending the other.

*Content Warnings: Mentions of child/animal abuse, trauma, character death, physical torture/pain*

Title of this fic is taken from the book of the same title "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma," by Bessel van der Kolk

But I've got you, you, you, you, you, hey

And you've got me, me, me, me, too

Like we're buckled and preparing for the crash

Like we're walking down a road of broken glass

Now if we defeat all odds and it was us against the world

You can count on me, you know I'd have your back

God, it hurts to be human

Without you, I'd be losing

And someday, we'll face the music

God, it hurts to be human

P!NK Hurts 2B Human

“You have a lot to answer for Daughter of Thanos.” Denarian Dey growled, Gamora’ stomach curled, heart beating erratically in her chest. “Search the area, bring out any survivors.”

Nebula…

Gamora secretly hoped her sister had been able to escape. She hadn’t stuck around to find the raccoonoid but made a run for it shortly after he’d been dragged away. Guilt and rage whirled in her chest.

“You won’t find any,” she managed through pained breath. Dey only glared at her. Gamora tightened her grip on her sword.

Twenty….plus more in their ships.

“Dey...we can explain,” she tried.

“You had your chance,” he snapped, stepping forward. “We found the black box in the rubble of one of the ships we sent after you. Subject 89P13 tore the throat out of one of our pilots,” Gamora shot a look upward at Rocket who at least had the decency to look ashamed, ears drooping on either side of his head. “...you killed the others.”

“Gamora,” Peter stood next to her, hand on his own blaster. A momentary breath of relief escaped her as he did so. Drax was not too far behind, his own knives already out and ready.

“We found them!”

All heads snapped around, two Nova corps officers dragged the bodies of the Halfworlders out of the building. Next to her, the raccoonoid sucked in a sharp breath.

“Bullet wounds. They were shot.”

Gamora held her breath, watching Dey survey the corpses. His shoulders heaved with rage, misplaced though it was.

“I….”

“She didn’t kill em’” Rocket snarled from her shoulder. “I did.”

Dey’s brows only furrowed further.

“You are still under legal ownership of your creator.”

Gamora almost winced at the prick of his claws tightening on her scalp where he held on.

“You will be taken back to Xandar, daughter of Thanos.”

“Dey!” Peter stepped between them, hand out placating in peace. “We can explain, we can make this right. There’s no need for this!”

“This does not concern you Star Boy.”

Peter’s back straightened in anger, the usual tepidity of his temper heating to a boil.

“It’s Star Lord and what you do with members of my crew does concern me! We’re the Guardians of the Galaxy!”

Dey smirked, glowering at Gamora.

“Seems some of you are more invested in endangering it than guarding it.”

You did kill those Nova officers….and the Halfworlders…. Gamora whispered to herself amid the tension. They are right daughter of Thanos. All you do is kill and hurt. If you were in a Xandarian prison you would not be able to hurt anyone. Perhaps it is for the best…. the cybernetics in the limbs ached. She wanted to drop her sword, she wanted to give up the fight and lay in her bunk...she wanted to tease Peter and listen to music.

“You,” he directed his gaze to Gamora. “Come with us, now. Or we will make you.”

The Nova officers stepped forward, guns aimed. Gamora resigned herself, her muscles wound tight amid the pain like a spring ready to go off. While her mind spun doubts, her body would not go down without a fight.

“Wait!” Rocket hopped down from his perch. She rolled her shoulder, winching at the kinks that knotted in her muscles.

“.....I’ll go with you…” Gamora watched him drop his gun with a heavy thud. “Let them go free….and, I’ll go with you back to….to her.”

Damn it Rocket what are you doing?

“You’d go back to your creator?” Dey demanded.

“Yeah.”

“Without a fight?”

“Does it look like I... I’m ….u...up for fightin’?” Rocket snarls, but the heavy slouch of his back betrays him.

“Do not go with them furry friend!” Drax implored, Gamora turned. Groot clung to the large muscular arms of the Destroyer, large wide gaze still so full of fear. Her heart panged with sympathy not for the first time for the little twig.

“You killed these people?” Dey gestured to the dead Halfworlders.

“Can yah blame me?”

Help him!....What could I possibly do? Attack? Kill Dey? It would be easy. You know you want to. Daughter of Thanos. No….NO. I will not.

Gamora forced herself to sheath her sword with a heavy hand.

“Dey. Star Lord is right. There is no need for this,” she began slowly as though she were approaching Thanos. Trying to talk him out of one of his more violent fantasies of planet wide destruction…. not that I was ever successful.

Dey tightened the grip on his gun, leveling it to her chest once more. Her arms ached at being held upward, the wires between her veins twanged with agitation. She bit the inside of her cheek.

“What happened was a misunderstanding.”

“What happened was you murdered a dozen Xandrians! Prime was right not to trust you,” his eyes swept the entirety of the group with heated rage.

“We’ll take the rat back to its owner and you’ll be glad that’s all we’re taking.”

Dey motioned for his men, four of the escorting Rocket towards their ship. The raccoonoid, spared a glance over his shoulder while they led him away, willingly.

What…?

Gamora tried to guess, whatever Rocket was trying to communicate was lost to Drax and Peter’s shouting.

“You can’t do this!”

“Unhand our vermin companion!” Drax demanded he propelled himself forward only to be met by guns.

“Just….just take care of Groot okay? Don’t let him get into trouble and don't let Star-Shit feed him anything weird..I…”

“Move, rat!”

“I am G...grooot!”

The flora wailed, before Gamora could intercede a shot of green flashed past her, aimed at the offer holding Rocket’s shoulder. He grunted, swiping forward, slicing the small vine in a single swoop. Rocket tensed, baring his teeth. Groot let out a grunt of indignation though thankfully, Gamora thought-he did not appear to be in pain. Drax held the little flora back, even as he tried to grow another vine.

The Nova officer shoved Rocket roughly forward and he made no move to resist.

“Rocket!

Quill shouted, but the raccoonoid only shuttered with a pain Gamora recognized.

The cables in his back are no doubt still tender...

She tightened the grip on her sword, watching Rocket’s ringed tail disappear into the Nova ship, door sliding shut and locking.

“I suggest you get moving before I change my mind,” Dey sneered.

It’s not too late. You could fight him, one move that’s all it would take. A stab straight to the chest...or the gut if you really want to have fun, her old voice taunted. Gamora swallowed, hoping he could not see how badly her arms shook. With a curt nod, eyes unblinking in their defiant fury, Gamora turned away, back to the Benatar.

“Come on,” she ordered Peter, gripping his shoulder.

We tracked him down this far, we can do it again.

Peter met her gaze, face slowly morphing from rage, to understanding. He nodded, motioning for Drax and Groot to follow them to the ship.

“I am gg...g...grr..groot!”

Groot gasped through his tears of sap, reaching out towards the Nova ship as it began to take off.

“Shhh, we will go after him.”

A small seed of warmth temporarily curled in Gamora’s stomach at the sound of Drax cooing, quite paternally, to the small flora. She allowed herself to enjoy the feeling briefly, before climbing into the co-pilot seat next to Peter.

“They’ll be expecting us to go after him,” he warned slowly.

“I know. That’s why we aren’t going after him,” Gamora punched the keys for take off. “Not yet. We’ll wait on a nearby keystone for a few turns before making any moves.”

The Benatar jolted and rattled as if out of a slumber, coming to life and lifting off with a metallic creaking, not at all reassuring.

“But by that point he could already be…” Peter glanced towards Groot, then drew a silent finger across his throat.

“Yes, he could already be dead,” Drax affirmed, mimicking Peter’s motion. Groot burst into a new round of tears.

“Drax just… calm him down okay please? Peter, don’t open your mouth for the next few hours, I need to think.”

Peter clamped his jaw shut, instead turning his attention to the tape deck and music swelled as Gamrora steered the ship out of Halfworld’s atmosphere.

Good riddance...the place reeks like Thano’s ship. A flash of Nebula’s sneering face flashed through her mind at the thought. Nebula, she got away… again. We should go after her. We should…

“I am Groot!!”

Gamora’s heart hitched, understanding what the little flora had cried. She tapped the controls in anxiety. We can get Nebula after.

---

“Gamora...I think you should see this,” Peter poked his head into her room. His face immediately blushing at the sight of her working out. She set down her weights, wiping sweat off with the back of her hand.

“Is it Nova?”

“Yeah...but...it’s not...it’s well...you should see for yourself.”

She stood, sighing. For the past five turns they had done nothing but lay low and try to strategize while in the off hours of sleep Nebula’s face haunted her. Gamora walked with heavy steps, she would have stopped to take Peter’s hand. Any sense of warm reassurance. But she couldn’t. It’s not the time or place.

The radar monitor blinked incessantly. Red flashing, a distress signal. Gamora craned her neck outward towards the large windows of the ship, stomach dropping.

Is that…?

Peter guided the Benatar closer towards the signal, hovering over a large keystone.

No...

Gamora held her breath, watching the plume of black smoke contrast against the blacker expansive of the galaxy. Brilliant flames snapped and danced around charred metal. Metal that had been painted blue and gold. The three sunned insignia of the Nova Corps now peeled and curled in the heat of the engine fluid.

“Maybe it wasn’t the ship that took him,” Drax reasoned. But Gamora knew. Her gut told her, the cybernetics in her jaw synching with pain.

“We need to look for survivors! Someone...anyone!”

“I am Groot?”

“We don’t know that yet,” Gamora responded with little question to the flora’s fear. Drax already began hitching up his gear. He winced as the aerorig rippled across his torso.

“Be careful out there,” Peter warned, a worried look passing between the four of them. Gamora, watched the destroyer from the cockpit, training her eyes on his busy hands as he poked through the wreckage. At each turn of metal she jolted, expecting to see burnt blackened fur.

He went with them for my sake. So I wouldn’t be imprisoned. Of course he did, that’s the least he can do after what he did.

The sliding of the Benatar’s doors shook Gamora from her thoughts,

“Well…?”

Drax looked at her, expression dull, he shook his head.

“Th...that’s okay!” Peter’s voice shook, “That’s fine! Maybe it was the wrong ship! Maybe he got away!”

Drax only shrugged, doubt plain.

That is the same ship. You know it, Drax knows it.

Gamora's stomach churned with something between guilt and anger.

Selfish little creep...he...he should’ve let us fight for him. He shouldn’t have gone so easily! You should've fought for Nebula, you should not have let her get away.

Gamora heard the sound three turns later. After silent hours of unspoken grief and confusion. Peter trying harder and harder to make excuses, to be optimistic. Even his spontaneity was beginning to dwindle. Groot hardly said anything, wilting in his pot mournfully.

Beep beep beep,

Gamora dove over to the transmission station,

Its’s the Nova Corps...or Nebula,

“Incoming message,”

“Play it.”

“If you're looking for your mascot,” her sister’s iron voice taunted through the mic. “I have him with me in the second sector of the Keystone quadrant. I’ll send you a signal. I want Gamora to come and I want her alone. You hear that, sister? Alone. If you try to pull anything I’ll know.”

Gamora sucked a breath, it's a trap. A joke.

“How do I know you won’t kill me as soon as I get within range?”

Millions of potential strategies and outcomes poured through her mind, running down the litany of possible ulterior motives.

“I won’t.”

She smirked despite herself,

“Forgive me I don’t believe that.”

“How do we know you aren’t lying about Rocket?”

Peter interjected. Gamora turned back to the transmitter.

“Quill relax, it’s fine. I’m here,” the unmistakable.

“Rocket! “

Gamora grunted as Drax shoved her out of the way, barreling forward with so much momentum he nearly braced himself on the transmission controls.

“Has the scary blue woman hurt you? We will come at once!”

A scuffle on the other end of the line for a few minutes, pure static then Nebula’s icy voice once more.

“Gamora. Come alone. We have things to discuss.”

“Nebula, what are you….?”

The line clicked off.

---

“So you’re going?”

Peter had made his way into her bunk the following turn.

I don’t have time for this,

Gamora slid another dagger into her belt.

“What choice do I have?”

She muttered, as per usual, Nebula was holding the cards, just like Thanos has always held the cards. Held sway over her. But no longer. You sure about that? She asked herself. No.

“Rocket’s a smart guy, he can get himself out of there, and he didn’t sound particularly hurt. What’s the worst she can do? Call an exterminator?”

Gamora blinked, staring at Peter for a moment before shrugging, tired.

“I don’t understand that reference.”

“It’s like a pest control person who comes into your house and ...neverming.” He dropped it, instead snatching up one of her other swords.

Gamora let it slide, checking her weapons on her person once more.

“I’ll do as she asks, but I’m not going unprepared. I’m doing this for Groot.”

Peter looked up from the blade, matching her gaze. He smiled gently.

“See, I think you’re doing this for your younger self.”

Damn you Peter. You are secretly perceptive after all.

Gamora waved the thought away, forcing a grin through thin lips and strode past him. Stopping for a moment, and kissing his cheek.

“Keep the ship close. I’ll signal if I need anything.”

She lingered a moment, watching in amusement at his gaping mouth, eyes wide.

“I...y...y...yes! I will keep...close,” he stammered, dropping the knife. “I mean the a...the ship! I’ll keep the ship...c..close.”

His stark shock drew humor from him and she patted his shoulder. Beaming for the first time in days. He had that effect on her, as annoying as it were. But Gamora allowed herself the levity a warmth creeping into her heart.

“I know you will.”

---

Said warmth she clung to died as soon as Nebula came into view. The stolen Halfoworld ship stood idling nearby behind her. Gamora pulled her sword out of its sheath,

She’s armed...at least two guns and a stolen electrocutor from the lab.

“Where’s Rocket?”

Nebula smirked, shivers rippling up Gamora’s spine. She knew that look.

“I’m right here,” the raccoonoid growled, annoyed.

“How did you…?”

“Who do you think crashed the ship?”

Her attention darted back to her sister. Eyes narrowing. She tightened her grip around the handle of her weapon, heart hammering.

“Oh Gamora, you always did under-estimate me.”

Gamora pounced, rushing at the other woman, sword swinging.

I will not let her get away this time. Enough is enough.

Nebula grunted, sidestepping. Gamora made another attempt, spinning and bringing her arm down to strike the woman on the side of the head. Something sparked, the cybernetic cable in her arm, it pinched and stung. She cried out, arm seizing. Nebula’s nimble fingers closed tight around her wrist, and her sword clattered to the ground. Gamora reached for her belt with the other arm, fumbling for her dagger. Nebula turned, twisting her arm tighter. Gamora staggered as her other arm was bent behind her back.

“You never learn,” Nebula seethed close to her ear. “You think you know everything.”

Gamora grunted, trying to struggle out of her hold. Through the curtain of her hair, Rocket sat bored, legs crossed, fiddling with some gun she recognized as having belonged to a Nova officer.

“Rocket!”

“Just listen to her,” he mumbled, not looking up from his work.

He was in league with her…

“Let me go!”

Gamora tried to slide from her grip, but Nebula bore down. The metal in her spine burned and stung under her sister’s weight. She synched her hands behind her back, unrelenting.

“Let me go!”

“Why so you can fight me?”

“You’re trying to kill me!”

Harsh laughter cut through her erratic thoughts.

“I’m not trying to kill you Gamora!”

The cybernetically enhanced woman tried to turn her head, just enough to see into Nebula’s black eyes…

Her head...it’s all flesh...where’s the metal plating?

Of course she’d noticed this in the lab...but now..seeing it here, was all the more striking.

“Y...yes you are!”

Gamora shouted, more in indignation than anything else.

“No! I’m not!”

She let go with such a force Gamora fell forward, snatching her fallen sword and spinning it around facing Nebula, heaving for breath.

Breathe….in...out...good. In...out through the pain….in out…

“You always were the dumb one. You may have been better at fighting but you were always an idiot.”

Gamora rolled her eyes but stayed put. She’d fought enough battles to know when you were at a disadvantage. When to stop while you still had your head.

“Why do you think I was in that lab?” Nebula demanded. Gamora briefly looked over her shoulder to Rocket, who hardly acknowledged either of them.

“He wanted to make a deal, he wanted to help you kill me!”

“Ha!” Nebula shifted her stance, hands on her hips defiantly.

“He didn’t want to help me kill you, he wanted me to stop killing you!”

She’s lying.

Gamora struggled to look at Rocket. This time, he met her eyes. Red and vacant and unreadable as ever, but his whiskers twitched in recognition. Her stomach dropped.

“....he….he wanted you to stop trying to kill me?”

She stood, trying not to shake. Nebula’s lips formed a thin line.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

Nebula shrugged, noncommittal.

“And...did you agree?”

Dread hitched in her belly, not wanting to know the answer. It was better this way. Her trying to kill me. Me trying to defend myself. Better. Simpler...simpler then..

“You're breathing now aren’t you?”

She nodded, dumbly.

“He offered to take me to that Halfworld place and un-do what Thanos, what you did to me.” Gamora opened her mouth to argue but she continued.

“So here you are, alive.”

Gamora took a shaky breath.

He went to Halfworld...willingly….risked going back there...on his own terms. Gamora tried not to think of the metal in his skin, of the wires in her own body. Tried not to think of him hanging there suspended from wires coming out of his back like an old piece of machinery. She tried not to think of Ebony Maw and his tools and the cold table and the harsh lights. Tried not to think...

“Why’d you agree to do it?”

Nebula looked down at her arm, the one that had once been metal, no faux flesh. The more Gamora looked at her...the more normal she looked. Maybe all she ever wanted to was to be the best by her own merit, without any enhancements. She couldn’t fault her for that.After all, she wanted the same thing once. Now it was too late.

“I’m sorry,” she choked.

Sorry for mistaking her? For what Thanos did? She wasn’t sure.

“Just take the rat and go.”

“Nebula…”

A thousand words swam around her mind, each of them inadequate.

“I promised him I wouldn’t kill you. I didn’t say the same about Thanos.”

Gamora spied a slight smirk flashing across her sister’s face if only for a moment.

“Go, take the fur ball.”

“That’s not very nice Nebs.”

Rocket fitted the Nova Corps gun back into his holster.

Gamora nodded, ears ringing and began to back away slowly unable to look at the raccoonoid.

---

“I’m going to have to face him sooner or later,” Gamora reasoned four turns later. They’d made it back to the ship silently. While Groot, Drax and Peter clapped and cheered, she’d watched Nebula’s ship drift away, out into whatever lay beyond. That night through the celebration of drinks and music, Gamora allowed herself to take Peter’s hand and sway and forth. It was different from dancing. Her feet hardly moved. It was in no way similar.

Now they were headed further out, toward the Nexus quadrant. Better to stay under the radar of the Nova Corps for a while.

Gamora had gone over it in her head, so many times. Nebula. Rocket.

He went to Halfworld knowing the risk. Going back to the place he was tortured. Would I do the same? Go back to Thanos...to save… Peter of course. But him?

“I think he’ll listen,” Peter rubbed a tentative hand in circles around her back. They sat together in his room. Gamora forced a laugh,

“Do you even know him?”

“It’s worth a shot,” he encouraged. She smiled, wanting desperately to put her head on his shoulder, to stay here and rest with him.

“You have too much faith in people,” she mused.

“You have too little.”

She savored the moment, leaning against him and allowing him to plant a small kiss on her forehead before standing and going to look for Rocket.

---

“I thought I might find you here,” she tried to play it smooth, ascending the ladder up to the roof of the ship. They had landed on a small uninhabited planet.

“I am Groot!”

The little flora giggled playfully in Rocket’s lap, growing a tiny white flower and sticking it to his jumpsuit.

“A’right, a’right, enough!” The raccoonoid made to shoo him away without much effort.

“Glad to see you and Groot are getting along,”

Rocket’s ear twitched, he shrugged and helped the flora up to his clumsy wooden feet.

“What do you want?”

“I…”

The words caught in her throat. Gamora sat down beside him, hopefully far enough away to avoid getting scratched.

“I wanted to thank…”

“Don’t thank me.”

Rocket waved a dismissive hand. He shrugged off the vine Groot had tried to grow around his finger and stared off into the distant stars above them.

“I never thought I’d go back to that fucking place.”

“Then why did you do it?”

Gamora could no longer hold down the question she’d been asking herself the entire time. She watched him pick something at his fur.

“Cuz’...when you do something wrong...yah gotta make up for it,” he sighed. “Pay it back or whatever...and...change...especially if it’s someone...lo…”

Gamora did not need to hear the rest to know what he meant.

“Who taught you that? Groot?”

“You,” Rocket answered sharply but not unkind. He stared at his own nimble little paws.

Gamora bit her tongue, looking at him. His shoulders just as tense as hers. She could see the fresh wounds still healing on the back of his neck and his collar, even under the fur.

“I lied about the scans,” she blurted, louder than she meant to. Luckily Drax was asleep in his bunk, Peter was no doubt listening to music and only the soft wind answered her outburst. “The scans...when I said I saw them and that you didn’t have a heart...I lied.”

The hair on his neck raised,

“You lied?”

Gamora pulled the data pad from behind her,

“I did. But we can find out the truth.”

He looked at the blank screen with his red eyes and took it carefully. Turning it on silently with trepidation.

“Wait,”

To her surprise Rocket halted, looking at he with...what she could only describe as confusion.

“Before you look at the scans. Put your hand here,”

She lay the flat of her palm against the smooth warm metal of the Benatar. Rocket followed suit, feeling it with sensitive fingers.

“Feel that?”

Rocket’s ears flicked,

“Yeah?”

The ship thrummed with power, even while idle. A steady, rhythmic motion.

“Now feel here,”

Gamora held out her hands, palms facing up. Rocket looked at her, nose sniffing.

Those eyes... for the first time she recognized something within them. Longing...for acceptance...for knowledge of himself... much the way she felt. Who was she? Who could she be if not Thanos daughter, if not afraid and running from Nebula? She no longer had to be aunty of those things. She could find out what and why she felt for Peter when they swayed to the music. She could find out how good of a friend she could be to Drax, she could be free to see how she could care for Groot. Rocket made sure I got that chance free of fear from Nebula...at least fear of her killing me.

Small sharps claws barely grazed her skin.

“Feel that?”

“It’s your pulse.”

She nodded.

“Exactly, now…” she nodded to the data pad.

Rocket nodded, tapping fervently. Gamora flitted her eyes down on to the screen recognizing the script from the vials and machines in the lab. He tapped away until a scan of himself came up. Green and black outlines criss crossed every which way.

Organic and mechanical matter.

“Gamora….” Rocket’s voice shook. “Look,” he pointed at the chest of the diagram, a small green outline of a heart. “I… I think I have a heart.”

Gamora could not conceal her smile, nearly reaching out to hug him.

“You do Rocket,” she managed to compose herself. “Of course you do.” He looked up at her, smiling the first true smile she’d seen since Groot awoke for the first time in his pot. “I was wrong about you,” she admitted laughing absurdly.

“I was wrong about you too Gams, I never should’ve made a stupid deal w that Nova lady, trust me. I….I’m sorry Gams.’ his eyes, vacant and a little glossy shined in the night.

“I want to Rocket….I...I’m sure I will. Soon...just...not yet.”

The raccoonoid nodded, understanding, looking at here. Somehow, someway, Gamora could see them, into them. No longer obscure orbs of nocturnal bewilderment but...like her own. Full of feeling and of meaning. Windows to the soul.

Rocket dropped the data pad, it landed with a small clatter. He opened his arms.

“....are you...drunk?”

Gamora wondered skeptically under the strange impression he was asking for a hug.

“I’m good, I’m good” he tried to convince her, unconvincingly.

Gamora sighed,

“...your…”

Two small furry arms wound around her neck, Gamora found herself returning the gesture arms going around him in turn.

“I am Groot?” The flora wiggled his way between them, vines creeping around their torso’s.

“I know you killed a lotta people but if you never killed those people may you never woulda wanted to leave...and you never would’ve found us.”

“I...I’m charmed Rocket,” she bit back a laugh but she understood his true intention. They stayed that way for a while drawing quiet comfort.

“I’m glad I found you all,” she said it to herself as much as to Rocket. “I’m glad I found you.”

Rocket tensed a little in her hold but did not pull away. He relaxed into the hug once more, tightening his grip.

Whatever answer she was going to give was lost in the comfortability of the moment.The two of them sitting there, with all of their regrets and scars and maybe...some amount of hope for themselves and the other too. Hope that things could be better.

Thanos may have taught me to hate and resent...made me loathe myself and what I’ve done. But maybe Rocket..taught me it’s not too late. Not too late for either of us.

Gamora hugged him tight, feeling their hearts beat. Her’s slow, his faster, both of them wounded and scarred and damaged but stronger than ever and steady and learning to be true.

The End

#thats it folks #thats my swan song #my last gotg fic #until vol 3 anyway #gotg #my writing #the body keeps the score fic #rocket raccoon #gamora #groot #baby groot #peter quill #starlord #drax #nebula #gotg fanfiction #Guardians of the Galaxy

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123abcdrawwithme · 5 years ago

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all spg albums poorly described by me bc i can

album one: steam man band: michael reed voice: GUYS HOLY HECK LOOKIT MY ROBOT FRIEMDS THEIR SO COOL OHMA G AD clockwork vaudeville: now when you say you bought yourself a pickle- sound of tomorrow: the jons audible lenny face as he says “in the nude” on top of the universe 2009 ver.: RABBIT FUCKED A TOASTER AND UPGRADE KILLED THE SPINE THE GIRLS ARE OFF THE SHITS on top of the universe 2011 ver.: alternate timeline where the jon and rabbit kill the spine and deny him ice cream i am not alone: poor one out for upgrades 1 (one) song, shes trying her best ice cream parade: i don’t even know where to begin with this one brass goggles: LOCAL ROBOS ARE FEELING EMO SO THEY HAVE A SING ALONG out in the rain: splish splash they was havin�� a bash electricity is in my soul: okay but whomst the hell is that electronic voice who sings the “la la’s”? serious question who tf is it???? steam man band reprise: michael reed voice: GUYS MY COOL ROBO FRIENDS ARE GETTING AN ENCORE HOLY HECKIE blind minstrel’s ballad: ominous captain albert alexander: listen,,,, he beat spider hulk in an arm wrestling match,,,, hes really cool,,,,,, the 2¢ show: steamboat shenanigans: some say they sang so hard they really did make it to the moon and across the stars ;) one-way ticket: CHU CHU I LOVE U ju ju magic: jonathan giraffe what tHE FUCK ARE YOU SINGING ABOUT HONEY? ARE YOU OKAY? me and my baby (saturday night): the spines a hopeless romantic and he loves to treat his girl and his siblings support him little birdie: jon makes friends with a bird or some shit idfk rex marksley: the spines a hopeless romantic and sings about his cowboy crush and his siblings support him automatonic electronic harmonics: they want to feel cool,, let them feel cool,, prelude to a dream: hey michael i thought you were supposed to be the human friend whats all this about not being a human being?? mike? m-mike?? make believe: FUCK SOCIETY, TRANS RIGHTS BITCHES *EPIC KAZOO SOLO* honeybee: ah yes that one song we won’t ever let them forget bc were all emo scary world: the morse code says spoopy the suspender man: rabbit voice: yeah theres this guys who sold his soul or whatever how fucked up was that, anyway i want to wear a dress :3c that’ll be the way home: THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL THAT’LL the ballad of lily: oh boi we about to have another character song on this album airheart: character song 2 electric boogaloo circuitry: y’all good? mk iii: curtain raiser: beebop voice: STEVETHY SOMEONES TRYING TO PLAY THE ALBUM steve voice: oh fuck steam powered giraffe: HEHE NAME DROP mecto amore: this is some rabbits in love again shit but with WHAMST hatch fever: hatchy is here and the album version does not capture how feral hatchworth performed this on stage a way into your heart: spg as a whole @ their fans: we love you all so much thank you for the support over the years :) <3 me through tears: bitch,,,,, <3 ghost grinder: rabbit and the boys on their way to the graveyard at 3 am to party with rabbits dead gf please explain: i stg everytime i hear hatchy sing “gum in my gears” i think he’s saying something else and i’m sure you can fill in the blank, but the thing that gets me is thats so on brand for him to say dsfdfg she said maybe: rabbit is just young old dumb and full of love these days isn’t she? go spine go: almost 6 minutes of hatchworth and rabbit being two year olds and poking fun at spine roller skate king: everyone sleeps on how good this song is wtf i’ll rust with you: me knowing full well this song is about rabbit outliving her gfs throughout the decades bc shes a robot: oh,, so thats why theres so many love songs by rabbit on this album,,, rabbit you good?? wired wrong: the spine you good?? fancy shoes: hATCHWORTH YOU GOOD??? steam powered giraffe reprise: we interrupt your regularly scheduled robot angst hours with that good weeb shit™ turn back the clock: okay back the robot angst bleak horizon: our lovelys saying goodbye saying they’ll be back to bring smiles on our faces soon as we close out to some ominous as fuck shit teasing vice quadrant the vice quadrant: the vice does tight: okay so the vice quadrants fucked up and the robots are very concerned by this on a crescendo: ominous foreshadowing thats so ominous i had to look up what this song meant lore wise bc i just thought it was the robots just dancing and having fun steamjunk: my dear sweet honey darling is traveling through space and I’M WORRIED ABOUT HIM starburner: low-key robo angst bc their worried about their souls being damned or some shit but its cute progress and technology: david YOUR RANGE wink the satellite: wink voice: YOU WAS MY BABY MY FUCKIN CINNAMON APPLE burning in the stratosphere: oh fire fire: this is the most haunting shit i have no joke for this sky sharks: hoo boi the sky sharks certainly won’t be killing us all today, but climate change sure will daughter of space: PREBBY SPACE GODDESS HNNNGNNGNG star valley night: honeys you know you can just wait for it to be night time right? then you can go play in the star valley at night- commander cosmo: BITCH YOU GOOD? where is everyone?: THERE SHE IS MY BABY gg the giraffe: MY DARLIIIIINNGGG SING IT HONEY the pulls: wink my darling y’all ok? soliton: corpse man and space goddess sing a really nerdy analogy about love and its gorgeous where i left you: wink seriously are you okay? over the moon: rabbits just done but shes gotta sing it and go all out with how done she is bc shes extra it’s cosmic: is the “alright!” rav?? also is this love song supposed to represent them causing more fuckshit and destroying the universe and just not realizing it bc their in love?? idfk man it bops hold me: whether from the perspective of holly or rabbit i weep openly at this song the speed of light: david: this is where the astronaut turns evil won’t tell you why tho ;) literally every lore buff: *listens to this song and tries to theorize wtf happened* rav to the rescue: local green space twink rescues his space bf more at 11 starlight starshine: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the space giant: three steampunk robots fight a giant starbaby in guitar hero to save a satellites crush; a planet thats a huge apple i have zero jokes for this is already too absurd oh no: oh OH OH? O H. OOOH OH??????????? o h... oh no.... necrostar: evil pissrock possessed evil dead guy and is ready to cause fuckshit while the robots sing about how scared they are at the end super space blaster centi-asteroid invaderpedes 2: cute interactions with the robots! i hate this title tho whale song: wholesome shit to distract you from all the lore and foreshadowing at the end Music from steamworld heist: automatonic electronic harmonics, on top of the universe, electricity is is my soul, honeybee, and brass goggles: me minding my own business playing steamworld heist: *walks into a bar where spine rabbit and hatchworth are performing one of these songs* me: HOOOOOGH heist ho!: yeah thats piper for ya starscrap: hi i’m in love for rabbit? prepare for boarding: GET IN BITCHES WE’RE GONNA OVER THROW THE PATRIARCHY the red queen: capitalism? demolished. what we need are some heros: the spine projecting his love for cowboys onto the player characters the vast frontier: hatchworth: I’M A BAD BITCH YOU CAN’T KILL ME the stars: they made it lads they made it over the moon and across the stars.... also how’d they keep singing for that long aren’t they tired? quintessential: malfunction: wow i can’t believe spg ended transphobia i don’t have a name for it: love? i guess??gd fgdsghfdg blue portals: the idea of hatchworth going through the blue portals when i know they’re made out of blue matter is terrifying overdrive: they want to seem cool please play along and pretend their green screen work is cool the ballad of delilah morreo: this came right the fuck out of nowhere but fuck its here now and its fantastic love world of love: wonder what other balboa park songs they’ll bring back, like never gonna give you up :) only human: i’d die for you hatchy salgexicon: they deadass wrote a song about their dnd campaign sleep evil sleep: i guess we’re all evil BC WE KEEPING SLEEPING ON HOW GOOD THIS SONG IS TOO photographic memories: walter worker chelsea? come get ur mans- leopold expeditus: hatchworth: hey guys checkout my fursona dream machine: this song keeps me up at night with the endING I JUST WANT RABBIT TO BE HAPPY AND ARTSY BUT THE WAY IT ENDED WITH THE VICE QUADRANT RELATED TEASER MAKES ME THINK RABBIT PICKED UP A SATELLITE FREQUENCY FROM WINK ABOUT HOW NECROSTAR WILL KILL RAV IN THE FUTURE DEADASS I’M NERVOUS WHAT HAPPENED

#steam powered giraffe #spg #this took forever please just take it #not art

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sneakyhomunculous · 5 years ago

Text

Last PT Report

Day 1: Wake up fresh; shower normally and then turn it freezing for the last 30 seconds. Shadowbox for 5 minutes. Stand on head against the wall for 3 minutes. 20 push-ups, get dressed and shuttle 0.4miles to site. Walking would be better, but it’s a bit cold and I don’t wanna worry about a jacket. Arrive at 8:55, pods go up minutes later. Arrive at the table to see Zvi and 6 others I don’t recognize. Zvi is two to my left. Open my pack Ayara, Edgewall Inkeeper, Slaying Fire, Fierced Witchstalker, and thankfully a Charmed Sleep. Slam the Charmed Sleep. I’m not going to let the way some early packs break determine my fate in the last PT ever. I’m passed clockwork servant and a bunch of mediocre cards like scorching dragonfire scalding cauldron maraleaf rider. Slam clockwork servant. Pick 3 there are no good cards, luckily I’m greeted with a Fabled Passage. Take it easily over middling things (I did briefly consider taking corridor monitor). 4th pick I am greeted with a gift from the gods. A 4th pick Opt!!! One note, at this point corridor monitor is the only blue card I’ve passed. This pack contains no blue cards besides Opt. Many people would panic thinking Blue is being cut. While the chance that is happening are not 0, they are not significantly more likely just because you haven’t seen blue cards in 2-3 picks. The packs easily could’ve just been light on blue cards. But what is certain? No one on my left has even seen a single blue card they can take. Pick 5 no blue cards. I take Jousing dummy over middling cards in other colors. Pick 6 a welcome sight. Corridor monitor! Slam it so fast as I wouldn’t want to give the players on my left a faulty signal. Pick 7 there is a mad ratter that I assume my fellow draft mates did not see in the pack. Pick 8 there are no blue cards but a wicked guardian will do. I already have servant and monitor, to go along with Opt and this mad ratter. Not sure how I’ll cast it but we’ll see I round out with another joustin dummy and that early corridor monitor tables!!!!! Pack 2 I crack open a pack without a blue card. Luckily there is an epic downfall that I may end up playing. Pick 2 I get passed a pack with the best common in the set, draw 3 sry 3. I take it quickly over reave soul and other irrelevant cards. 3rd pick Stolen By the MF Fae. Thanks Worth! 4th Pick Frogify over nothing. They aren’t going to give this draft to me easy. 5th pick No blue cards 😡 take Witch’s Vengeance I probably won’t play. 6th pick SO TINY; The second best common in the set with a run away together and didn’t say please in the pack too. Bad distribution tilt. 7th pick spinning wheel. I can’t wait until they fix these bots and we can get REAL practice in 8th pick Draw 3 scry 3 😂 this is when I knew I had 2-1 at least locked up. Around this pick I notice the player on my right (I’m on the edge so he’s directly across from me) has an opportunistic dragon sticking out of his pack C. So I call a judge and they have to replace the pack with no issues. I round out the pack with dregs. Pack 3 I open Folio of the fancies GG yo I get passed a pack so blank I almost cried but then I noticed a scaulding cauldron, whew. 3rd pick I face the decision of mystic sanctuary vs hate drafting, and sanctuary is completely busted so I take that. Pick 4 I am greeted with another 4th pick Opt!!!! 3 for 3 baby. 5th pick there is nothing great I take a searing barrage I hopefully won’t have to play. 6th pick I get passed a pack with didn’t say please! But there is also a Lochmere Serpent and a Drown in the Loch. I take the serpent 7th pick is blankish if I recall correctly and I got sad. 8th pick another mad ratter, I recall being happy/content. And saying to myself in my head... I think I shall play it all! I do end up playing everything! 4 swamps 1 mountain 1 Fabled Passage 1 Sanctuary 10 Island. My SB is pretty weak but I do have a couple searing barrages, a forever young and a few expensive fliers/jousting dummy type things I can bring. [Insert Picture of deck 1 here] (I’m trying but can’t figure out Tumblr maybe I’ll post all the pics at the end?)* Wouldn’t be a PT without a Round 1 Doozy I’m paired vs someone I don’t recognize. Apparently it is their first PT but I don’t know this at the time. They seem confident but reserved and ready for battle. We both keep 7 and I am on the play. My opponent plays a turn 1 witches Cottage. On turn 2 he plays a swamp and an order of the midnight. It immediately becomes So tiny. On turn 3 I do nothing. My opponent plays a mountain and a redcap raiders. I miss my land drop but put the raiders into a Charmed Sleep. On turn 4 my opponent plays swamp Lochtwain Paladin with Cheese. I untap and draw Fabled Passage. My hand is expensive cards like mad ratter Draw 3 Serpent and something else. I am about to fetch and then I realize his hand is facedown on the table but looking thicc. I just double check how many cards and he picks them up no problem and says 5. And it’s correct it is 5. However my brain says it should be 4. Turn 1 land. Turn 2 land 2 drop. Turn 3 land 3 drop. Turn 4 land 4 drop. This means he started with 7, drew up to 8. Played his land down to 7, and he didn’t miss any land drops so far. So turn 2 his card played should mean he is down to 6, then turn 3 down to 5, and now his Paladin down to 4. He has an extra card!! I count 5 times just to confirm, and sure enough he is 2 cards ahead of me. I call a judge and after a quick count and discussion it is confirmed he has one too many. He is extremely calm but also quiet during all of it. I didn’t get any vibe of him trying to be dishonest or hide anything. At the same time it’s incredibly sketchy of course. How and when did he get an extra card? He is on the draw so he’s already got extra cards, seems like he’d notice if he had 9 to start or something?? The ruling is that I get to Thoughtseize him basically and he has to shuffle what I pick back in his deck. I really hate this rule as its putting so much of the onus on me to always track my opponents hand so vigilantly. If I would’ve noticed he drew 9 to start, it would be hugely beneficial for me to Thoughtseize him. But now I Thoughtseize him and see 5 spells as I’m already behind on the board and want to throw up. Did he just draw 2 cards at once on turn 4 because he needed a land? I’ll never know. But his hand is completely fucking stacked and I can’t find myself ever beating it. He has another lochtwain paladin, Murderous rider, another order of midnight, lash of thorns, and a festive funeral. I take the murderous rider but miss a land again and by the time I can play serpent I am forced to block into his Lash and have no outs so I just concede without showing him. Game 2 I don’t remember a ton of, but I know he plays multiple rimrock knights and order of midnights and I am so close to dying so many times. I had spinning wheel and he made a few small errors, and it let me survive at one life but needing to topdeck a cheap creature/play to survive at all. I peeled a Charmed Sleep and it left me actually in control with mana left over to tap his one other attacker. Well, as in control as you can be with 1 life. Shortly after I find a draw 3 and turn the game around over 2-3 turns before he can find a way to deal me 1 damage. Unfortunately the time is about out in the round and we only have a 7 minute extension. I slam in the 2/1 bloodcrazed wolfthorn guys and both searing barrage hoping to have time to finish game 3. Instead I am on the backfoot and in serious danger of dying. T2 order. T3 rimrock it and play rimrock. T4 rimrock it and play rimrock. I am all the way down to 4 before I have any chance at stabilizing. I play in the only way I think will give me any chance to survive and it involves letting him untap with me at 4 life and him having a Brimstone Trebuchet in play, knowing he has at least two cheap knights he has returned with order of midnight/forever young combo. He did only have 5 mana so I wasn’t that scared (I had witch’s vengeance for walls ready on my next turn). But the prospect of surviving at 1 still seemed grim at the time. Oh yeah somewhere in there he played a murderous rider and pumped it with rimrock knights so he was at 30 and me at 1. I never felt safe until around a minute before time was about to be up. Unfortunately my opponent was still at 30. The judge called time right as I passed so I got turn 1. On my Opp turn 2 I flashed in serpent and untapped and sacrificed two swamps but could only find more lands. I made it unblockable and attacked with it and all 4 of my stolen by the Fae tokens and 8 of my mad ratter tokens leaving back a few more to make sure I wouldn’t die to the swing back from my now 3 life. My opponent took 17 down to 9 so they must have been at 26 at the time. On turn 4 I had a small sweat as I left myself dead to barge in (hadn’t seen one, did pass multiple in draft though) as I really wanted the win and not the draw. Luckily my opp not only didn’t even attack, but they played out their entire hand and were clearly dead on board by 2 points more than lethal. Win on turn 5. Wild start. The rest of the day was a lot smoother. R2 vs ZVI Mono G Zvi Mulligans on the play g1 but leads t1 Goose. I have so tiny and Charmed Sleep draw 3 and bunch of lands so I ignore goose. He plays a wildwood tracker at some point I so tiny and I Charmed Sleep a Fierced Witchstalker. He is hitting me for 1 with gingerbrute when I cast draw 3. Then I cast another. Then I play serpent and folio etc and I’m still above 10 life and he dies in short order. In g2 I get sloppy and lose a game I have no business losing. I turn 3 clockwork servant turn 4 Wicked guardian draw a card, but this was just a mistake. I did this knowing I would take 5 damage this turn but I had no business taking it as I already had everything I needed to win this game. I needed to preserve my life total. On turn 5 I do start preserving life, but when I flash in serpent on turn 6 to block Zvi has Insatiable appetite on his gingerbrute that has counter from weapon rack to kill me from 7. G3 is a lot smoother as I so tiny a gingerbrute, and at some point am up so many cards I decide to use a searing barrage on the untapped gingerbrute with so tiny on it (only 3 cards in Zvi yard) just so I don’t have to worry about losing to double insatiable appetite when I tap out for stolen by the Fae and or serpent. R3 vs GW I play vs the person feeding me and my heart drops. I assume he is blue and will have many secret keepers and didn’t say pleases and I know I am screwed because I have 0 counterspells. Instead he leads forest curious pair food turn 2 the 1/3. Then he misses land drops and eventually beanstalk giants up to 4-5 mana but just plays some medium GW creatures. I win without much resistance and G2 goes about the same. 3-0 and now it’s break time. I immediately start running to subway as I want to beat the crowd on our short lunch break. Unfortunately as I open the door I am greeted by a 50+ deep line. I turned around and dive into the fried chicken place. 30 person line and 1 lady working. GG yo. I am feeling good despite not having any lunch options. At some point in the beginning of the constructed rounds Allen Wu shares his protein cookie with me, and I think that was just enough to save me from crashing too early. R4 JetSki Fires I don’t recognize my opponent but I Open his list and see a Sam Roflo Specialeee. 4 Bonecrusher 1 Shimmer 1 Fae 1 Realm Clock 4 clarion 8 cavalier stock fires. I have a t2 Oko on the play, but otherwise my hand is Shite. Joe Demestrio is birding and brings up my line after the game saying he would have done things differently. That is why Wallace was on the rail and I was in the streets. The point was that my opponent played a turn 2 shimmer. On my turn 3 I made my food an elk and attacked for 3 missing a land drop and said go without playing paradise Druid. The reason being that if my opp has clarion you always want to have a food back to start attacking immediately. This way I could make food with goose in response to clarion untap make it a 3/3 and play Druid. Instead my opponent did nothing, and I passed turn 4 with a lethal attack if I untapped (9 damage from elks and 2 from Druid I just played with opp at 11). But They play 4th land and say go? I am worried about going for it as if they have bonecrusher giant for my Druid and then untap and realm cloaked giant I will have an Oko no food and 2 lands with no plays. But I don’t see any real other options. If I don’t make My 3rd elk and attack with everything I still will die to the realm cloaked. My opponent just concedes when I right click attack all. I sort of forgot what Joe even wanted me to do. Maybe it was not playing Druid T3 he didn’t like, or maybe it was when I turned my goose into an elk the following turn. But that was mandatory as it left me a food back Incase my opp had the t4 clarion or fires/clarion, and left me with a lethal attack if they did not. G2 I play a T3 nissa untap Breeding Pool attack, my opponent plays 4th fires and I Aether Gust it and untap and krasis for 6 or something. I won that one. R5 Jack Kiefer on JetSki Fires. His list was notably a bit cleaner and played less bad cards (except he had a bunch of shimmers I guess, that does qualify as a bad card) This match was really good, but just showcased how good the food deck is. He beat me g1 with no real sweat as I couldn’t pressure him nearly fast enough. G2 and 3 details are blurry to me but I know a surprise brontodon really threw him off in one of the games. He cast fires into drawn from dreams turn 4 and when I untapped and played and brontodonned his fires he seemed frustrated. I don’t know if he could have taken different cards with drawn but his next couple of turns were not good enough and I won. Oh I remember now. I absolutely ravaged him with a casualties of war in the other game killing his 5th land and only white source, his fires, his sorcerous spyglass and his cavalier. 5-0 R6- Oscar Christensen Mirror Oscar had a good list with 2 Casualties and I was a bit worried going into this match as I hadn’t practiced much at all with my deck and I felt he was probably well prepared for these mirrors. That proved to be true as he seemed to play very well in all the games. I think I just ran away with one game on the play, and the other game I won was solely bc I jockeyed myself into a position where he was forced to make plays to keep parity and left himself tapped out and dead to my 1 SB casualties. That 1 card I put in my sideboard at the last possible second after discussing how much I hate duress with Collin is certainly the only reason I made this run. It singlehandedly won me 4 matches. 6-0 R7- Craig Krempels Mirror Craig has a Karn’s bastion in his deck! I immediately screamed judge to get an Oracle as I had no idea what that was. But the rest looked pretty normal. I don’t know Craig well but I knew he was old school and at least a good to great player. I was in the zone this round and I think I got extremely lucky in a few ways. First was the seating arrangement. By the 2nd game a huge crowd was forming and I could sense them around me, but couldn’t really see any of them. He had them over his shoulder but also could see all of the people behind me up close and looking on. He made a few glaring strategical errors (Multiple times in Nissa fights he attacked with a land which let me kill his nissa for free where otherwise I would’ve had to overextend/throw things away to get to it), but he also just literally forgot to activate his planeswalker one turn and also forgot to play a land in another. He ran away with game 1 with a t2 Oko followed by an early Nissa, capped off with a Karn’s Bastion threatening to activate no less! In game 2 we have a bit of a back and forth affair but I am starting to fall behind. I am not giving up hope as on turn 5 I draw the black source I need for Liliana on the following turn. My board is two wicked wolves and a food, and I have 4 forests and a watery grave after playing land this turn. My hand is Liliana and my freshly drawn overgrown tomb. Howver Craig has just deployed Nissa to go along with his Oko on 10 counters, and his own goose and wolf. On his turn he makes an attack after I had attacked his walkers with my wolves. His only blockers now are the lands and one goose but his Oko has so much loyalty and nissa is now at 4 because I hit it with a wolf last turn. Fortunately he says go without even using his Oko. I untap ready to slam Liliana and hope I can fade krasis for a couple turns and claw back from a dangerous life total (I was at under 10 but don’t recall exactly). Instead I draw my 1 casualties 🏆 I kill both his creature lands and his Oko which leaves his nissa at 4 loyalty and him only having a goose to chump. But I have two wolves and a food so he can’t save nissa and chooses to not block with goose. He’s down to 3 lands goose and I end up winning easily with Liliana a few turns later. Game 3 is another back and forth affair but this time I wrestle control in the middle turns and also have my casualties ready. He is fighting back and has a vraska in play for a couple of turns, but I manage a krasis for 3 which will threaten to kill it as its at 1 going up to 3. He does remember to use it and has a goose he can use to jump in front and protect it for one turn. But I have nissa and casualties ready this turn and when I untap I know it’s over. I start by attacking Vraska with Krasis. He blocks with Goose and Bins it. I ask how many cards he has as they are on the table and he spreads them out slowly and it’s 4. As this is happening someone behind me on the huge rail screams Judgeeeeeee. My eyebrows raise and I immediately realize he left his Vraska at 3 but it should have gone to 2 from Krasis Trampling over his Goose. So I tell him this. Craig looks incredulous. I said yeah u chumped with goose it should be at 2. He says well trample is your ability. You have to remember your own abilities. So I said wait what? Did you think maybe I just wanted to go ahead and assign all 3 damage to the goose this time?? Really fuck that goose up good huh??? He kind of shrugged and said something back but I said let’s just call the judge. Lengthy call but I just lead with exactly what happened. I tell them that the person behind me screamed judge after a few seconds and that is what prompted me to scan the board and realize he didn’t tick his vraska down. It’s been 5-10 seconds since binning goose and all I have done was ask how many cards he has. I acknowledge that it wasn’t even on my radar until someone screamed judge (bc I was so happy and knew I was going to win. Also probably bc I suck and can’t seem to remember what my own cards do) They basically rule that trample does not have a default rule, so it’s on me to assign it. And also that someone behind me saying judge seems to have prompted me to realize I missed it. So the vraska stays at 3 I think this rule is kind of BS in the first place. Trample should be automatic default lethal + rest at you. (That’s how it works on Modo and Arena no?) But also barely any time has passed and no actions have been taken here, so I snap back and ask “What if I would’ve just called you over and told the exact same story, but left out the part about someone behind me screaming out judge?” You would rule differently right? “I cannot answer that hypothetical at this time” Ok well when can you?? “After the match” Ok thanks. “You can appeal if you are not comfortable” No it’s all good. Nissa float Gb with overgrown tomb untap casualties your entire board except vraska and a useless wolf go. The crowd goes wild!!!! “Olldddd Schooooooollllll” rings heard throughout the hall. He died the next turn or so. I bring it back up with Craig and I just let him know it’s not 1999 anymore. It’s actually the future now, 20 years later. And almost everyone in the room would just tick their own Vraska down to 2. He didn’t agree with that, but I have faith in the new guard. 7-0 R8 Eli Kassis on GB Adventures I was starting to fade hard at this point. The lights also got to me a bit. Its extremely bright up there and I was actually having trouble even reading what lands/cards he was playing. Game 1 I was feeling the head spin from not eating and having such a long day. I managed to keep it together and I am proud of myself for recognizing what I should be doing in this game. I had a wolf and 2 goose and on turn 4-5 I untapped and could slam nissa, but he had left 3 mana open and had some cards still. And I identified massacre girl as a massive blowout if I didn’t get my food count up ASAP. On top of that Nissa was so likely to just die to Murderous Rider or Grasp as he’s not doing much proactive stuff and I haven’t given him a great window to use either of those cards either. The issue is mostly that I didn’t practice so I haven’t played this matchup. But I totally blanked on Liliana for a few turns. The passive plays I was making left me completely fucked if he had one removal spell (kill a goose) into Liliana make me sac two. I still think I made all the correct plays, but after a few turns of skipping my plays to make food with geese to play around massacre girl and abyss him with my wolf, I realized how big of a threat Liliana was and finished the game off while playing around that as well. I win and he drops his hands of all lands. He played well but literally drew all lands so any plays I made throughout the game probably would have been good enough to win. G2 and G3 I think I play quite poorly. I don’t remember specifics but every time I made a play I felt like I was guessing and second guessing and I would just tell myself to make a play u are thinking but actually not getting anywhere. Go ahead, guess you monkey!!! No amount of thinking can save you. And then I’d just listen to The Oko Devil on my shoulder and make a random play. It all culminated in me scooping when I wasn’t dead. (I was dead as shit, but not technically dead. He had 2 cards and a castle, and any 1/1 or removal spell in the top 4 cards would kill me immediately) but I never would have scooped if I knew wasn’t dead immediately. You see the problem was Lovestruck Beast. Eli had 2 of them, a massacre girl, and a 1/1 human. I had a wolf that could kill the human and now help double block Massacre girl. The bigger problem? I played the entire match as if Lovestruck Beast was just a 5/5 for 3. Totally forgot it can’t attack without a 1/1. There is no excuse as I had the card multiple times in draft, but after a long day it just totally slipped my mind. 7-1 [Happy] One other note. Open decklists. I think this is a massive reason for my success at this tournament. I don’t have much time to practice these days, and there are so many damn formats and they are always changing! Magic is already so hard, but when you don’t have the practice + confidence in what your opponent will have in their list + confidence in your ability to remember and understand all of the possibilities/interactions/situations in the entire format it makes each game so much harder to form your long term strategical plan, which in turn makes all of your tactical ideas harder to execute as well. Knowing exactly what I am working with and against every round makes me 10x as comfortable/dangerous. I know it goes both ways, but I feel like most players at the top level have a huge edge on me without open decklists. I struggle to play around cards/piece together what they might have until it’s too late so often. Mostly because I’m bad at it and scattered, but also because of the lack of reps. I can never remember what set a card was from or how long ago a standard was or all the decks from the old formats etc. I actualy can barely ever tell you what sets are in standard and which cards are in which set! And that’s when I’m actively playing. So yeah. Shoutout to Open decklists. I’m sure many people hate them, but I strongly prefer them. I’m always going to bring caw blade anyway; GG yo. Day 2 & Day 3 Coming soon!

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verdigrisprowl · 7 years ago

Text

Operation: 🐸. Part 7.

Inside the lab, Prowl and Tarantulas (with some help from Whirl and Laserbeak) rush through a life-saving procedure to stop Springer’s spark from going out. Outside the lab, Whirl and Soundwave & Co. slaughter the Decepticons who have come to take out the intruders.

With all but one Decepticon prisoner dead and Springer’s spark stabilized, they reconvene in the lab to put him back together. Next time: reassembly and, hopefully, wake-up.

For full authenticity, listen to the Transformers: Devastation soundtrack.

Whirl

Whirl has been in enough situations that suddenly escalated to full-scale violence to be ready to fight at a moment’s notice. His helm snaps towards the door the moment Soundwave’s alarms go up. “Looks like we’ve got company,” he says, stepping away from the three of them. “Just complete the circuit—I’ve got to go.”

He rushes out of the room with the deployers, skidding to a stop outside the door and sizing up his opponents. There has to be close to thirty or so of them, all thundering down the hallway, a wave of angry bodies ready to break against the line. He isn’t about to wait for them to arrive. Whirl takes two steps forward and carries the motion over into a fluid transformation, rotors whirring as he stabilizes himself in the air. There’s not a lot of room to fly, but Whirl can more than handle himself in such tight quarters.

He immediately begins a barrage of fire with his cannons, tearing into the front of the ranks with each blast. It slows the enemy for now, but it won’t last. “Got a plan?” He calls over the comms to Soundwave. “Because if not, I’m about to dive in.”

Prowl

Prowl turns toward the door. "Dammit." The explosion must have got the Decepticons' attention. How many? He knows Soundwave and Whirl can handle themselves, but against too many enemies...

He looks back at Tarantulas. "Hurry. I don't want this to be the way we test Springer's new armor."

Tarantulas

Everything’s going to pits in a toolbox. Everything that could go wrong is going wrong. Except Springer’s ununtrium frame, but that won’t help any of them now.

But – the spark jump. It’s their last chance to salvage what little is left of Springer’s spark. Prowl doesn’t have to tell Tarantulas twice, so he braces himself and snaps the dual clamps on Springer’s spark chamber.

And nothing happens.

Tarantulas waits a moment, but it’s clear that whatever was supposed to happen hasn’t happened. Frag. Frag frag frag.

Prowl

"... I don't feel anything." A useful patient tells his doctor what he's experiencing. "Isn't it supposed to hurt?"

Tarantulas

“It should!” Tarantulas is starting to shake now. “I-it should -”

Frantic pings across the communal commlink, but Tarantulas ends up crying out across the lab as well as over comms. «WHIRL - IT DIDN’T WORK -»

Soundwave

Soundwave dips his helm in acknowledgment of Whirl and the deployers' arrival, but doesn't look at him. He's already tearing apart poorly secured comm lines in the search for the enemy group's leader.

[[No bridges.]] They can't be allowed to see something as identifiable as that. Especially not if they're still brandishing Decepticon insignia. There's no telling who they report to - or who they might give ideas. [[Take the back, prevent escape. Allow surrenders... if there are any.]]

He doubts there will be, though.

Soundwave's deployers abruptly explode out of their line and into the fray, once again ready to be the well-oiled fighting machine they were in the pits, the war, and lately, the Underworld.

Whirl

“No bridges is fine,” Whirl replies, “but I’m not taking anyone alive.”

With that he launches himself forward, his booster igniting and sending him hurtling towards the enemy. It’s a brutal, inelegant charge, roughly the equivalent of a full-body punch. The moment he collides with the line, Tarantulas’s frantic message comes through.

Whirl shakes off the nearest Decepticons with a few quick blasts from his canons and then swivels up to dart along the ceiling, flying upside-down over the heads of the enemy below. “Dammit,” he mutters aloud. Obviously, completing the circuit wasn’t enough. “Laserbeak! Go back in there, I need you to shock the hell out of Prowl!”

Clearing the crowd at last, he corkscrews neatly away from the ceiling and re-orients himself, swiveling to face the crowd of mecha between him and Soundwave. “I’m sending you some help, Tarantulas. I’m guessing you need a surge—she’ll handle it!”

Soundwave

[[ He can't wring information out of dead processors. ]] Soundwave's fingers curl tight in irritation. He's going to have to find their commander, and fast. At least it'll go faster now. Touch telepathy, physical confrontation...

Laserbeak whirls free of the writhing mass with a gleeful whir and zips sideways through the door, exposing no more than a crack. (Someone takes an opportunistic shot but misses the gap. Soundwave vents in relief - then spears them in the gut with the end of his arm and, twisting, slams them to the ground.)

Tarantulas

A surge. A surge. Of course. Activation energy. Not that electricity would serve as a substitute for the actual spark energy needed, but it’d cause Prowl’s spark to seize and power the jump. Yes, that – that had to work.

«Are we SURE Laserbeak can deliver a sufficiently extreme voltage? She – it’ll likely have to be in excess of sixteen times Prowl’s baseline for it to – we’ll try, but –»

Tarantulas will be ready when she gets there though, assuring the leads still connect Springer and Prowl but careful not to touch either of them. The panic is burning deep gold in his visor – because on top of all this, he has a sudden fear for Prowl’s spark now. For the pain Prowl is about to suffer, if Laserbeak really DOES have the voltage. But should he say anything? No – better not. Just – do what needs to be done. He's so, so sorry, Prowl.

Prowl

Prowl glances back at the door as Laserbeak zips inside—here to help? to tell them that things have gotten worse outside?—but only manages to get out a “Wha—?”

Soundwave

Laserbeak's feelers clip onto either side of Prowl's back without so much as a by-your-leave, and suddenly there's enough electricity running through him to knock out a handful of minicons and then some.

{{Now tinfoil turkey roast you! }} she cackles.

It's the best day of the last few months of her life.

Prowl

When Laserbeak latches on and—threatens him??—his first wild thought iss s sgh ghh h dghd dg gg## #g#g g## # #g#

His scream is nothing but static. As he's electrocuted, excess energy burns through every wire in his body—and through the cables into Springer.

Whirl

“Then you’d better get to them before I do,” Whirl replies simply.

A few more blasts from his cannons clear him a space to land, and he does, whipping his plasma-launcher out of subspace and readying it. There’s an eagerness to fight in him, a sense of tension broken—they’ve all been waiting for the other shoe to drop, ever since they’d arrived, and it finally had. More than anything else, though, Whirl feels rage.

Hatred pulses through every atom of his body with every beat of his spark. It’s an all-consuming, exhilarating feeling, rendered even more vivid by the numbness that has been gripping his spark all these long weeks. Hot streaks of glowing plasma lash through the air like whips, hungrily eating through the armor of Whirl’s enemies. “Did it work?”

Prowl

Prowl nearly collapses, barely holding himself up on his hands, and grits his dentae shut over a strangled cry. His spark is roaring in pain—it feels like a black hole is sucking it out of its casing. His feet and hands are covered in a stabbing pain (like a thousand knives being driven into one’s body), and then the stabbing becomes a prickling, and then goes numb, as spark energy is drained out of his extremities and the stabbing pain travels ever closer to his spark. His fingertips are turning gray. His HUD is changing colors and distorting across his vision. The killswitch hadn’t hurt like this. Prowl’s come close to dying before and this feels no different.

What if Prowl isn’t strong enough to save Springer? What if his spark is just too small? Springer’s always carried a far larger body than Prowl has, Springer’s spark is obviously stronger than his, plus Tarantulas just augmented it; what if Springer needs more energy than Prowl can safely give?

His fingers are stiff and uncooperative, but he forces them to curl into fists, knuckles driving into the ground. If Springer needs more energy than Prowl can safely give, then Prowl will die to save a better mech than him. He’s ready.

Tarantulas

There’s nothing Tarantulas can do but watch as Prowl falls forward onto his hands. He can’t touch him, can’t comfort him in any meaningful way – he can only, must only, monitor the transfer of spark energy from one frame to another. (Those fingers. Those grey, grey fingers. Tarantulas trembles.)

Now comes a new judgment call – deciding when to separate them. Tarantulas may not have his medical scanner at the moment, but he still does have ten optics and a visor, and a few of their functions help narrow down the window to half-seconds, tenths of a second –

Suddenly he unclips and yanks the cables from Springer’s chest. That’s it, that’s – that’s –

Tarantulas laughs out loud. Did it work. Did it work. Primus, Whirl, if only you could see the vibrant blue light dancing in Springer’s chest now, the leftover sparks from the electricity flitting jubilantly from their frames. Tarantulas can't seem to decide between vocals or comms, so it's still both aloud and transmitted. « Yes, yes, it – hold on, hold on –»

Tarantulas quickly looks Prowl over to make sure he’s not in any critical condition (please don’t be crashing please don’t spiral out please) – yes, Prowl passes muster. Then he’s promptly zeroing in on Springer for a closer inspection. A few pregnant seconds later, he confirms the good news. «– Yes yes thank Primus yes he’s alright, he’s stable, he’s, he’s –»

Soundwave

Laserbeak’s not sticking around to get swatted out of the air by a cranky post-shock Prowl. Or one of Tarantulas’ many misunderstanding legs. Time to zip back over to her Boss and the battle outside, where she’s a little less likely to be murdered.

Rumble punches someone’s knees to scrap. Ravage leaps at them from behind, toppling them over, and Frenzy jams his drills into the sides of their helm. Buzzsaw dives repeatedly, blades whirring, cutting another mech free from the fighters and herding them backward into Soundwave’s waiting grip.

Soundwave promptly pins them with a foot and tears them limb from limb. The feeler still holding the screaming leftovers by one leg swings them and clubs yet another Decepticon into the wall before flinging them into the crowd.

So it goes.

Prowl

Stable. Thank god. His job is done. When Laserbeak takes off, Prowl lets himself slump to the side, landing with his head next to Springer's. Weakly, wearily, voice crackling, he said, "I c##an die i#n peace now#.» (He's not dying.)

Soundwave

(txt): Negative, forbidden.

Hey, Whirl. Laserbeak's gonna shoot some cons your way as a personal thank you for giving her that beautiful chance.

Prowl

What's that pinging in his head? Hmmm. Irrelevant.

Whirl

Whirl pauses momentarily as Tarantulas’s comm comes in, confirming Springer’s stability before he goes back to the task at hand, which is presently shoving the muzzle of his plasma-launcher into the open mouth of the Decepticon screeching under his heel. He laughs, half at the horrible gurgling noises that erupt from his opponent when he pulls the trigger, and half from Prowl’s very dramatic declaration.

“All the dyin’s happening out here, mech,” he crows into the commline, his voice ringing with a sort of joyful viciousness. Whirl has been absorbing a steady stream of weapons-fire while he dispatches with the mech underfoot, and finally raises his attention to the others, leaving the Decepticon to perish while he claws at his face.

Simply using his cannons would be more efficient, or even his sword, in such close quarters. Whirl is taking more damage than was necessary, but he can more than handle it. He doesn’t want to kill these mecha quickly, or efficiently; he’s savoring every moment of the fight the way a gourmand might savor every bite of a meal.

And here comes Laserbeak, delivering dessert. Whirl lifts his plasma-launcher out of the way to dispatch one of them with a quick one-two blast of his chest cannons before closing with the other, optic wide and bright.

Prowl

What's THAT ping supposed to—? Oh. Comm. He opens both messages, studies them, and—with what grim dignity he can muster—replies, «Then I suppose I'll live.»

Tarantulas

Tarantulas could cry, he’s so overwhelmed with relief. In fact, he IS crying, but the tears behind his visor are being efficiently recycled, since the pores were upgraded since last time. Thank Primus, because it means he can see well enough without having to deactivate his visor – he can accurately reach out over Springer’s prone body and pull Prowl in, then shakily embrace the two of them where they lie on the floor.

It doesn’t matter that both their spark chambers are still exposed and vulnerable. It doesn’t matter that there’s still static in the cables still attached in Prowl’s chest, and that Springer isn't even conscious. It doesn’t matter that this isn’t even his Prowl, that this isn’t his Springer, his Ostaros. This is it. This is all Tarantulas has ever wanted. Himself, Prowl, and Ostaros, all in the same place at the same time and not trying to kill each other.

He can’t get any words out, comms or no. It’s just too much for him to handle.

Prowl

He's limp as Tarantulas pulls him up into an embrace. But after a moment, he shakily embraces him back. Static arcs from his spark chamber into the fur of Tarantulas's chest.

"Thank you."

Tarantulas

Oh, Tarantulas is definitely crying now. “T-thank – thank you. Thank you Prowl, you’re – you’re here, and Ostaros, a-and–” He’s burying his face in whatever pieces of the two mechs he can reach.

It’s a pretty dysfunctional family reunion, but he’ll take it.

Soundwave

He'd better live. Soundwave isn't going through all this to come out of it with a dead ally.

Somewhere in the middle of what's left of their attackers, a mech fit to put one of the murdertank Insecticons from Soundwave's homeworld to shame starts shrieking and spinning in place, hands scrabbling uselessly at one of the shot tunnels Whirl's plasma cannon left in his dorsal armor. He does a fair amount of work for them, accidentally elbowing someone into shooting the mech in front of him instead of at Rumble and distracting two more long enough for the bird twins to mow them down. Energon pours out from behind his facemask, running thick pink rivers down his chin and throat.

There's a loud whine and a glow that doesn't match the blue of a spark, and then the center of his chest explodes outward, courtesy of a pair of powerful hip blasters. He's dead before he hits the ground.

Ravage claws his way out of the sparking hole and leaps at the next person without even shaking himself off.

[[That one - the three-wheeler. They're his. ]]

Soundwave's feeler darts past a couple still struggling to keep Frenzy and Rumble from getting hits in and wraps around said three-wheeler's shoulders, yanking him up and over the fray. This is his prisoner now, and maybe a bribe for Starscream in case they get in trouble.

Whirl

As the number of mecha between them grows less and less, Whirl and Soundwave’s group draw nearer and nearer, and this necessitates a little teamwork. The beloved plasma thrower is put away, and Whirl lays into his foes with his blasters and his claws. He’s quite happy to cooperate with the twins, knocking a mech’s legs out from underneath him to put him into chest-drilling level or pinning someone so their head can be pile-driven into oblivion.

Ravage’s performance is a work of art; it sets Whirl laughing, and he doesn’t stop laughing until he takes out his final opponent—rather suddenly, catching even himself off-guard, with a vicious kick to the helm that had been meant to simply knock the Decepticon down. Instead, the mech’s neck snapped, twisting at an odd angle, and he crumped to the ground, having been damaged enough to interrupt the connection between the brain module and the spark.

“Oh. Huh.” Whirl stared for a moment before he knelt and finished him off with a quick shot to the chest. Whirl pauses to survey the hall. “Damn is that—is that all?” He’s not as spattered with gore as his companions: he’s scorched, bleeding a little, and his optic and cockpit glass are both badly cracked. He swivels his helm to regard Soundwave as he trots back over. “Anyone else coming? Or are we good for now?”

Soundwave

Soundwave and most of his deployers are accustomed to fighting in close quarters without the aid of guns or blasters, Laserbeak being the obvious exception. Them being spattered is just another day, especially for Frenzy and his brother.

And Whirl's not the only one to take some damage. Missing spines (some of which are buried in other mechs' weak points), missing fangs, missing plates, dents, gouges, one wing blade chain snapped, Soundwave's arms covered in claw marks from being used as shields - ah. It was a good fight.

To some, anyway. Soundwave's looking at the dead mechs before them and shaking his helm. He wanted so much to be wrong about the refusal to surrender. Over two dozen dead mechs in exchange for Springer...

He gives the ex-leader a violent shake and telepathically demands an answer.

"N-no. Nobody else, I swear. We - I never - the roster, look at the roster. You'll see."

Satisfied that he can't feel any lies under the words, Soundwave turns to face the door, ready to re-enter with his new prize in tow.

Prowl

Prowl nods along to Tarantulas’s babbling; the head movement makes him dizzy, and he leans more heavily on Tarantulas for balance. Yes, they're here. They're here and Springer is here, Springer is going to live, Springer is going to be invincible—and Tarantulas—Prowl has Tarantulas, he's here in his arms, and—

"Tarantulas… I love y—"

Whirl

Whirl pauses by the door, staring at Soundwave’s captive as he’s given a good shake. When the Decepticon is done babbling, Whirl thrusts his helm forward and fixes the mech with a pinprick-small optic. “You,” he said, "have no idea how lucky you are.”

He draws back. “Well. For now, at least.” And then Whirl barges in through the door, attention snapping down to regard the three mecha sprawled on the floor. Everyone seems to be in one piece. ...well, except Springer, but that’s nothing new.

“Everyone good? Why is he still on the floor? C’mon, get up, we’ve got work to do.” Whirl trots over to Springer and hooks his claws into his frame, staring pointedly at Tarantulas as he waits for him to help move Springer to the bed. “You can cuddle later.”

Prowl

Prowl flinches as the doors slams open, and falls silent.

Soundwave

Soundwave opted not to approach the Springer pile with his captive. For one thing, there were probably sparks out still, and for another - well, there were probably sparks out still.

Instead, he walked them to the other side of the room and parked the poor fragger on the floor. They said to check the rosters. He was going to take a moment and do just that while the others shook Springer awake, or put him up on the berth, or whatever they still needed to accomplish.

Tarantulas

It’s probably a good thing Whirl barged in at that moment, because Tarantulas swears he heard – did Prowl say – his spark’s going to implode if he really did – but no, no. Prowl never finishes what he was saying, and whatever moment was there is gone now.

Whirl’s pulling at Ostaros – no, Springer – and Tarantulas has to pay attention. They’re not done. In his blissful little moment of family reunion he’d forgotten their circumstances and what was still left to be done. Time to get up and pull your weight, Tarantulas.

Or rather, Springer’s weight. Tarantulas is on his feet again, ignoring his hidden tears in favor of mass-shifting up further than before and scooping Springer’s torso into his arms, like he should have done the first time around. No worries, Whirl, he’s got this.

A moment of wavering as he looks back down at Prowl from so far up. “A-are you – can you – stand? Ambulate?”

Prowl

Prowl slides back off Tarantulas and barely manages to sit upright. "I'm... not entirely sure." His processor is rounding probabilities to the nearest 25% so he's not trusting their results; there's a 75% chance they're still compromised. He tries to get to his feet.

And immediately flops back to his knees. "Nope." His strained spark is fluttering in its casing. "I'm not moving. I'm staying right here."

Whirl

Whirl hasn’t exactly forgotten about Tarantulas’s odd size-changing abilities, but it still does take him somewhat off-guard. He releases Springer to the other mech’s custody for now and turns his attention to Prowl. “Yeah, it’s a hell of a thing, isn’t it?” Whirl nods sagely. “Feels like someone sucked all the energon out of your body and replaced it with water.”

He kneels and nudges Prowl. “Close up, mech.” And Whirl silently offers one arm for Prowl to grab onto. The chivalry of the gesture might be somewhat compromised by the state the arm is in: scuffed, scorched, and spattered with blood.

Prowl can sit, and probably should sit, but there’s no reason he has to do it on the floor. There are still crates and suitable surfaces elsewhere in the room.

Prowl

"Yes. That's—good description for it."

Prowl gives Whirl a dull, confused look. Close up? Close up wha—? "Oh." He closes up his chest, latches it, and swings his push bar back into place.

And then he looks at Whirl's arm, for just a second, before grabbing it as firmly as he can manage. "... Thanks."

Tarantulas

Tarantulas’s worry for Prowl is exacerbated by his inability to stand, but if Whirl’s got him, well… He’ll see to Prowl later. He has an unconscious, open-chested, limbless patient to see to first.

Back over to the berth they go – thankfully it was far enough over that the explosion didn’t upend it, but unfortunately the boxes and tools around it are in complete disarray. Tarantulas sets Springer down as tenderly as he can manage before mass-shifting down again and picking around in the mess for what he needs.

Alright, there we go. It isn’t long before Tarantulas has Springer’s chest pieced back together again. But now…

“Frenzy?” Wait, where is Frenzy. “I – h-hyeh. Mind helping me reassemble? The explosion made quite the mess of your arrangement. And, if Prowl -” Tarantulas glances over at him. “- is in a state in which he can assist, that’d – that’d be invaluable as well.”

Soundwave

Frenzy looks to Soundwave and the others for confirmation before leaving the three-wheeler behind to hop-walk his way over to Tarantulas. The others can keep the mech under control. He seems to have lost all his fight without anyone else to back him up anyway. (The roster has confirmed it. He gets to live a little longer for telling the truth.)

\\I GOT RECORDS,\\ Frenzy shouts, tapping his helm. And yeah, he can talk freely again. Who's left to come running for the source of the noise? \\JUS' HOPE WE AIN'T MISSIN' NOTHIN' IMPORTANT NOW. DUNNO HOW TO MAKE FRESH PIECES YET.\\

Rumble balls up and tosses him one of the rags he saved from the crates before the blast. It does an awful job cleaning up even a fraction of the mess sprayed across Frenzy's front, but at least his hands are more or less dry. No fingerprints all over the bits of armor he's sorting through and bringing back one at a time.

After a couple of unheard instructions to the last few deployers, Soundwave makes his way over to the berth as well.

[[...He's not awake.]] There's a hint of tiredness in that assessment. [[He'll wake when you finish?]]

Whirl

Whirl hauls him up fairly easily, and bobs his head at Prowl in silent acknowledgment of his thanks. Prowl is let down on the closest surface that passes for a chair, and once he’s settled, Whirl turns to watch Tarantulas and Frenzy re-assemble Springer. He contemplated assisting for a moment, but instead hangs back, figuring it will be best if he’s not underfoot.

There’s something in Soundwave’s tone that catches his attention. Whirl feels a faint prickle of alarm at the back of his mind, and he looks to Tarantulas questioningly.

Prowl

As Prowl is lowered into his seat, he glances over at Soundwave—and his gaze catches on his prisoner, instead. Who’s this? One of the combatants outside? Where were the others? How many had there been? How many had died so that they could save Springer?

No one was supposed to die. Was it worth it, those lives lost to save one? Would Springer contribute enough to this galaxy to make up for what they’d sacrificed to save him? The sacrifice should never have been made in the first place. Prowl should have made sure the generators were stable. Prowl should have opened a bridge beneath the malfunctioning generator. People have died.

At least they’re only...

... No. “They’re only Decepticons” isn’t going to cut it anymore.

Tarantulas asked him a question. "... Mhmm." Prowl leans forward in his seat, elbows on his knees, hands laced together, peering around the room. Maybe his probabilities were still a bit imprecise (although they were about 80% better), but probabilities had only ever been a second layer of calculations to him, anyway. He's built, first and foremost, for trajectories. It takes him longer than it should to reverse-engineer the rubble he sees to figure out how it exploded out, and then to use that mental simulation of the explosion to determine where Springer's pieces had gone—but once he has it, he pings out the mental map to the others. There's a slight margin of error on some of the pieces, depending on where and how some parts might have been influenced by other flying debris, but it should help them track down most of the parts.

#chat #chronosmith #slenderwave #araneamechanica #createdxgreat #operation springer

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boltsnapbolt · 8 years ago

Text

5th place at Modern PPTQ with TitanShift

Hello everyone, tonight I am writing up my tourney report for you. So, for those interested, it was hosted at Madness Games and Comics in Plano, TX on 7/22/17. Great turnout of 100 players, the meta out here is primarily Burn, TitanShift, Shadow variants, and Living End, so I planned my sideboard accordingly with the help of my teammates and the great staff at Madness. I ended the day at 6-2, coming in 5th,after losing in the Quarterfinals. Very stressful day, I can feel it in my muscles and neck lol but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. A little preface, I was on the draw every single game except for Top 8. So without further ado, let's begin! (Excuse my poor sentence structure, and me skipping boring parts by jumping straight to the end game. I also typed out the simplified names of the cards, and for those of you wondering why Wood Elves came out in almost every matchup, the second copy is my flex slot for the mainboard so it’s super easy to cut down to just one copy of the card.)

Round 1: BW Eldrazi Taxes 2-0

Game 1: My opponent starts off with Concealed Courtyard, and passes. I draw, fetch Stomping Ground, suspend Search. He proceeds by playing taxing creatures, me making land drops and playing ramp, but in the end Scapeshift for the win.

Game 2: He plays Eldrazi Temples, but doesn’t cast anything other than Wasteland Strangler the game, and I just get there with Volcanoes again.

+1 Rec Sage, +1 EE, +1 Anger of the Gods

-1 Explore, -1 Scapeshift, -1 Wood Elves

Round 2: Affinity 2-1

Game 1: He gets the nuts and kills me by T4 with 2 Steel Overseers, Vault Skirge, and Signal Pest. GG.

Game 2: He loads up his board and has me at 4 on T4, I top deck Scapeshift for game with him at 18.

Game 3: This is the fun game. So he starts off by playing Inkmoth, Ornithopter, Memnite, Springleaf Drum, Mox Opal, and Cranial Plating. I kept a REAL SKETCH hand of 7 consisting of 2 Search for Tomorrow, 1 Wood Elves, 1 Scapeshift, 2 Sakura Tribe Elder, and 1 Stomping Ground, and INSTANTLY regret keeping the hand. I draw Explore, shock Stomping, suspend Search, pass. He draws and plays Darksteel Citadel, activates Inkmoth, equips Plating, swings for 7 infect. I literally needed a miracle, and I drew a Nature's Claim. I kept my cool, and passed. He draws, does the same thing, swings in and I Nature’s Claim the Inkmoth. He plays an artifact, and passes. Suspend comes off, I get a Mountain, and draw Ancient Grudge. I grudge the Plating, pass, and from there I AotG once, then Scapeshift for game after Bolting him. Really scary moment haha.

+1 Rec Sage, +1 Anger of the Gods, +1 Ancient Grudge, +2 Nature's Claim

-2 Khalni Heart, -1 Wood Elves, -2 Explore

Round 3: Eldrazi Tron 2-1

Game 1: He starts off by playing Tower into map. And for those of you who aren’t too familiar with the matchup, let me just say this: Make land drops, Scapeshift, Volcanoes explode. GG.

Game 2: He manages to get Tron active, and lands an early Wurmcoil Engine on T3 with me missing some ramp spells, and can’t seem to find a Valakut.

Game 3: I suspend a search, he plays another map, and then it just comes down to me killing with Primeval Titan triggers. Not much too this matchup.

+2 Tireless Tracker, +1 Rec Sage

-1 Explore, -1 Wood Elves, -1 Anger of the Gods

Round 4: Esper Shadow 1-2

Game 1: At first I thought he was on some sort of Esper control build, when he Seized my Thoughts and took our KHE. Come my turn, land, Search, pass. He double Street Wraithed at the end of my turn, and I knew exactly what was about to happen. He starts his turn by playing Delta, and then following it up with another Thoughtseize, taking my Elder, and sticks a Death’s Shadow as a 3/3. Things got real hard after that, and I died shortly after when I couldn’t make ramp spells work.

Game 2: I get a Search going on T1, followed by another land drop into Sakura. He doesn’t seem to have any more discard past the first turn, and I quickly leveled him with Scapeshift.

Game 3: I have a strong start to my turns that consist of ramp into ramp. He has lots of discard this game, and when I land Primeval Titan, I thought that I would be in the clear as he has only 2 cards in hand. He Paths the Titan, I get a mountain, hit him for 3, and pass to him. He draws and plays Gurmag, and passes. I draw Primal Command, and attempt to make him gain 7 and put a Titan into my hand, but it’s met by a Stubborn Denial. He plays DS, shocks a land, and passes. I draw a Pact for turn, get Colossus from the deck and put it into play, and at my end step, he Paths it again, and then I died to a DS and Gurmag beats.

+1 Engineered Explosives, +2 Relic of Progenitus, +3 Obstinate Baloth, +1 Chameleon Colossus, +1 Primal Command

-2 Khalni Heart Expedition, -1 Scapeshift, -1 Explore, -2 Farseek, -1 Wood Elves, -1 Primeval Titan

Round 5: Living End 2-0

Game 1: He starts off by going double Street Wraith, into shock land, pass turn. I play a Search, and pass, he cycles at my end step. My turns follow as such: Sakura, Wood Elves, land Scapeshift.

Game 2: Ramp, ramp, and hella ramp when he casts Demonic Dread on my Sakura, I sac in response, and when he casts Living End, I get back the one Elder I just sacked, and the one from a turn earlier. He passes, I sac both at end step, and shoot him down for 36 on my turn. This is a matchup we should not lose.

+2 Relic of Progenitus

-2 Anger of the Gods

Round 6: Grixis Shadow 2-1

Game 1: He starts off with a Thoughtseize and proceeds to rip my hand apart from that turn forward, ultimately leaving me with nothing on T4, with only 3 lands. He kills me with DS.

Game 2: I start with a Search, and pass. He plays Wraith, into shockland, into Thoughtseize, and takes my Khalni I had in hand. I draw a Khalni for turn, and slam it down, and pass. He gives me a look like “Are you f*****g kidding me?” He draws and IoK’s me, and takes an Explore, plays a fetch and passes. Search comes off, land comes in, and triggers Khalni, I draw, play a fetch, trigger, cast Wood Elves, trigger again, and I don’t pop it yet. I pop at his end step, and cast Titan on my turn, and get the beats going. Games over in 2 turns.

Game 3: He leads off with an IoK and repeats the game plan from Game 1, except that this time I’m able to draw into my ramp, and come T5, I’m at 2, he’s at 6, I have no cards in hand, with 7 lands down, draw my card for turn, and it’s a Scapeshift. I ask what mana he has open, and he mutters something and I look and he’s tapped out. Cast Scapeshift, he extends the hand.

+1 Engineered Explosives, +2 Relic of Progenitus, +3 Obstinate Baloth, +1 Chameleon Colossus, +1 Primal Command

-2 Khalni Heart Expedition, -1 Scapeshift, -1 Explore, -2 Farseek, -1 Wood Elves, -1 Primeval Titan

(Same as the previous Shadow matchup)

Round 7: Elves 2-1

He initially asked for a draw because that’s all he needed to get into Top 8, because he was 6th. I was 7th going into the last round, so I had to play. I declined his offer, and at the end of Game 1, he asked again, and I politely declined. So we played out the remainder of the round.

Game 1: His starting turns are pretty slow and his creatures are met by my bolts, and AotG. Mountains do him in eventually.

Game 2: He has a normal Elves start, and is able to hit me for lethal on T4 when I’m at 15.

Game 3: I start off with an untapped red source with a bolt in hand, because my turns from then till T3 were super slow, but I had a bolt, and an AotG in hand, with lands, so I would be ok. He plays a dork, and passes then I bolt it. I untap, draw Elder and pass. He draws and plays a Devoted Druid. I slam AotG because I know what kind of sick shit that card can do. He plays another dork, and a Visionary, and passes. The game gets a little stale for a couple turns, and then I find myself at 7, and he’s at 19. I need another one of them great miracles, and with 8 lands in play, I draw a Scapeshift, I cast the Scapeshift, and in response, he Chords for X=2, and I nearly shit myself and I really didn’t want to lose this way, because I have no idea what he could be getting. He grabs a Spellskite, let’s me proceed and when the Valakuts and Mountains come into play, he asks where the triggers will go. I say all to him, and so he redirects 9 of them to Skite, and extends the hand. Scariest moment of the day.

+1 Engineered Explosives, +1 Reclamation Sage, +1 Anger of the Gods

-2 Khalni Heart Expedition, -1 Wood Elves

Quarters: UWr Control 0-2

Game 1: Counters, counters, and more counters followed by me drawing all lands. Ironic.

Game 2: Counters, counters, counters, and an early Blood Moon kill me dead.

RIP.

+1 Reclamation Sage, +2 Relic of Progenitus, +2 Tireless Tracker

-2 Farseek, -1 Scapeshift, -1 Wood Elves, -1 Explore

Overall, I had a great experience with the deck, and this makes my second Top 8 out of three events in the last month with TitanShift. I look forward to playing this hot pile in future events and hope to do well. Thanks for taking the time to read this! List is below. Sorry for the write up a few days later. Had to work and boring adult stuff. As far as I can remember, this is what happened. So if you’re reading this, and I played you, please feel free to message me and we can fix the write up!

List:

4 Valakut, the Molten Pinnacle

4 Cinder glade

2 Stomping Ground

7 Mountain

3 Forest

4 Wooded foothills

3 Windswept Heath

4 Search for Tomorrow

4 Scapeshift

3 Explore

2 Farseek

2 Anger of the Gods

4 Lightning Bolt

2 Summoners Pact

2 Khalni Heart Expedition

4 Primeval Titan

4 Sakura Tribe Elder

2 Wood elves

SIDEBOARD

1 Engineered Explosives

1 Rec Sage

1 Primal Command

1 Chameleon Colossus

1 Ancient Grudge

1 Anger of the Gods

2 Relic of Progenitus

2 Natures Claim

2 Tireless Tracker

3 Obstinate Baloth

#mtg #magic #magic the gathering #titan #titanshift #scapeshift #modern #pptq #top 8

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glitzglamgunpowder-if · 8 days ago

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can't wait to play a horrible lil man i mean, totally normal person who can be trusted around firearms

Hmm I know I probably sound crazy but...I suspect that you DO want to play a horrible lil man 🤔🔍

#evil starlings RISE also sorry for the late responses imo i'm working late cuz im a singerr (not really but yes)#glitz glam & gunpowder #gg&g: dead drop ✉️#c: the starling ☆

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gizoogletranslateshomestuck · 7 years ago

Photo

==>

EB: how d-ya know! EB: d-ya hizzle roze's crystal ball? I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit.

GG: sort of! GG: she gave me tha code, n i made a coo' pair of gogglizzles wit it

EB: argh, i be surrounded by rizzy life witches, ya feel me? EB: Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. everyone i know is turn'n mizzle, it ridiculous with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back EB: I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon. cruisin' me cuz I'm fresh out the pen! iizzy magic now.

GG: it certainly seems so! W-H-to-tha-izzat wit yo' fancy magic ride GG: n yo' chauffeur familiar, i guess hittin that booty?

EB: no, he be neitha a chauffeur, nor a familiar... EB: he be just a nizzew friend! Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin. EB: also, dis be not a magic ride, it be an ordinary ride. EB: Chill as I take you on a trip. i found it 'n mah dad wallet.

GG: you did???

EB: yes, i just fiznound his wallizzle on tha ground. EB: but my diznad wizzy nowhere ta be F-to-tha-izzound. :(

GG: :(

EB: tha clizzay lizzay me ta tha wallizzle thizzle, so mizzay thizzay wizzay keep lead'n me ta him?

GG: hmmmmm... GG: maybe, bizzay hang on lizzy me try sum-m sum-m

EB: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. ok. EB: i H-to-tha-izzave seen lots of interest'n th'n 'n tha clizzay... EB: i guess you uze' ta see th'n like tizzy all tha tizzime, right? Fo'-fo' desert eagle to your motherfuckin' dome.

GG cuz its a pimp thang: yes! Put ya mutha fuckin choppers up if ya feel this. GG: what have you seen?

EB: wow, uh... EB: well, lots of th'n that were mysterioizzles n didn't make much senze... EB: Nigga get shut up or get wet up. but also lots of cruisin' i recognize'. EB: like stiznuff i have done before fo all my homies in the pen. n also stuff i will do 'n tha future. EB: n hatin' that roze n dave have bizzay up ta... EB spittin' that real shit: and you too!

GG: Drop it like its hot. spittin' that real shit:O GG: L-to-tha-izzike what, what did you seeeee?

EB: well, i saw you on yo' island, n sizzle you sleep'n in a float'n bed, n... EB like old skool shit: i sizzy yo' pretty snow planet bitch ass nigga... EB fo' sheezy: n i saw you wit sizzle frogs bitch ass nigga... EB and cant no hood fuck with death rizzow: hizzle you found any frogs yizzle?

GG: frogs fo gettin yo pimp on? GG: no...

EB: I'm a mutha fuckin 2-time felon. wizzay, i saw you once 'n a neat outfit doggystyle... EB: it was kind of lizzy yizzou were torn from tha pages of mah favorizzle japaneze mangas fo gettin yo pimp on. EB: n tha snow was rhymin'. They call me tha black folks president. EB: n you W-to-tha-izzere surrounded by F-R-to-tha-izzogs fo` some reason! EB: hizzay, niznow it sounds like i be trippin' a weird dream i had 'bout you.

GG: S-to-tha-izzure does mah nizzle!

EB: which i gizzuess is sorta true fo' real?? anyway, i gizzuess that mizzust not hizzave happizzle yet.

GG: nope! but thizzay S-to-tha-izzounds P-R-E-Double-Tizzy interest'n GG: i wondizzle why i would be surroundizzle by frizzay cuz its a G thang?

EB: dunno! Its just anotha homocide. biznut yizzou be a witch, playa. EB spittin' that real shit: witches LOVE F-R-to-tha-izzogs. One, two three and to tha four.

GG: hahaha thizzats true! GG: i hope i be not plann'n on weed-smokin' thizzle 'n a cauldron or nothin' trippin' o_o

EB: i doubt it, it lizzle ta me like a friendlizzle blingin' doggystyle.

GG: whew! Real niggas recognize the realness.

EB: oh, n one T-to-tha-izzime i saw a green vizzle of you wit pointy ears, and you wizzle cry'n, betta check yo self! EB: did tizzy happen yizzle?

GG: bluh. Chill as I take you on a trip. yizzy : You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg.| GG: Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. i prototyped mah dead drizneam siznelf n try ta git her ta fight jizzle GG: but it turned out ta be a BIG MIZZLE GG: gizzay i C-to-tha-izzant believe hizzle dumb that izzle was, she wizzy an emotionizzle wrizneck

EB: oh no! EB: what happened? Snoop dogg is in this bitch. wizzy be sizzy nizzow?

GG: oh, she wizzent off ta cry somewhere elze... good riddance!

EB cuz its a G thang: wizzy jizzy, you really hizzay been up ta a lot!

GG: hehe i guess so

EB: Anotha dogg house production. n i have J-to-tha-izzust been star'n at theze dumb C-L-to-tha-izzouds fo` hizzay or whateva. EB: i even sizzle mah oizzy dead body 'n a cloud!

GG n we out! what!!!!!

> ==>

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #pg3413

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blackthornroot · 8 years ago

Text

Haven’t Done One of These in About a Year Let’s See How it Goes...

So while I’ve been away in college I’ve been on a secret mission in an underground laboratory with the Metalborgs, known across the world as over-zealous, justice-obsessed maniacs who would always use their full force, even when, and I quote, “hunting small fry” and clearly valued power above all else.

But now I’ve found a way to reform the Metalborgs into the Kind Borgs. Robots that are considerate of people and the environment.

With these new Friends at my side, I set out for a large gathering of fellow nerds with one objective in mind, “convert everyone to the side of justice.” The side objective was to brutally murder anyone who was not in line with these ideals, but let’s not talk about that...

So anyway, the mission was simple enough: Win 5/7 Games of Cardfight Vanguard in order to make enough friends to be allowed to make it to Day #2, where I could make more friends and get to the Top 8/16/whatever. Sounds easy, right? Well let’s see how the Kind Borgs held up against the very mean-spirited forces that live in New Jersey:

But first, a word on Metalborgs (since not only is the deck old as fuck and nowhere near tier 1/1.5, but I’m not exactly running a standard strategy either):

Metalborgs rely on an outdated gimmick, “Guard Restrict.” Their bosses make it so the enemy can’t guard with G1 or higher cards from their hand when said bosses attack (so basically, no PGs, but guarding with triggers, intercepts, and special cases like guarding from soul/deck are still allowed). This sounds cool and possibly menacing when combined with Commander Laurel and a crit trigger or two, but keep in mind that these days the better G-Guards let players no-pass 30K columns for 1CB. G-Guards are also unaffected by the Guard Restrict (since they technically come out of the Extra Deck).

So what I’ve done is make a rush deck that can sit on G2 against the meta (every meta deck sans Blasters was GB reliant to a fault at the time of writing this), but also can reach the late game against less threatening opponents (Even though the opponent can G-Guard, they can only do it 4 times max in a game. So theoretically if I can punch through all 4 I can win pretty easily after that).

Anyway, I’ll post the decklist first with brief explanations of cards in case you care:

Starter: Metalborg, Locobattler (into soul -> +6K to VG if in legion, +3K otherwise).

Triggers: 5X Crit (4 of which have the same effect as the starter). 7X Draw 4X Heal

G1: 16: 4X Commander Laurel (if VG hits rest 4 RGs to restand VG) 4X Metalborg, X-Blaise (10K attacker) 4X Dimensional Robo, Daishield (Old PG (the kind that can guard RGs). Some of my RGs need protection and I don’t use CB that much.) 2X Metalborg, Death Blade (SB1 -> +5K to VG). 2X Cosmic Hero, Grand Police (Vanilla 8K).

G2: 13: 4X Metalborg, Ur Buster (Legion Mate to main boss, RG Skill: on-legion -> +4K to VG + “When VG attack hits a VG, kill 1 RG.” The effect stacks if I have multiple Ur Busters on the field.) 3X Metalborg, Diggerion (Vanilla 10K) 3X Metalborg, Lionetter (12K attacker) 3X Metalborg, Blacking Barrow (Is an 11K body permanently if my VG is in legion. CB1 + Move into Soul -> When Legion VG attacks, give +11K to VG). The G1+G2 lineup is the way it is for early aggression. Triggers are to maintain survive-ability and help draw into Laurel/PGs/the G3s.

G3: 4: 4X Metalborg, Sin Buster (Legion: If it’s power is >= 20K (after boost) and attack hits a VG, draw 1. It it’s in Legion and it’s power is >= 30K (after boost), opponent can’t guard with G1s or higher from hand. He’s the win condition/finishing blow, obviously. The G2 rush is to force the opponent to drop all their triggers to guard.)

Strides: 2X Hyper Metalborg, Guilt Digger (No I’m not making that name up. Effect = “Persona Flip -> search your deck for up to one card that legions with your heart and perform legion in your heart. Then draw 1.“ Saves me the trouble of wasting a turn legion-ing if I don’t want to).

4X Hyper Metalborg, Heavy Duke (CB2 -> On-Attack, pay the cost. Opponent can’t guard with G1s or higher from hand. If the attack hits, draw 1 (draw 2 if heart is in legion).).

2X Super Cosmic Hero, X-tiger (+4K for each face-up card in G-Zone. Gains a crit if power >= 45K).

G Guards: I run more than 4 G-Guards because Metalborgs have no good strides and the entire point of the deck is invalidating the opponent’s PGs so the regular D-Police strides aren’t worth running. 4X Enigman Patriot (+5K if opponent’s attack is >= 20K) 2X Super Cosmic Hero, X-carivou (+10K if opponent’s attack is >= 30K) 2X Dizmel

ROUND 1: Kind Borgs Vs. Fanservice Mermaids (Bermuda Triangle: Harmony):

Opponent was a kind/polite yet slightly disinterested girl (I chalked it up to either being dragged along by her SO or being tired from a potentially long car ride (some people drive like 5+ hours to come to these things on the day of the competition)). She had no idea about the overwhelming power of friendship and love that the Metalborgs had in store for her, so she guarded early.

Needless to say when I explained how Sin Buster worked she knew she was toast. GG.

WIN! Record: 1-0

ROUND 2: Kind Borgs Vs. Dino DNA (Tachikaze: Dogma):

Opponent was a jovial fat man. Very loudly proclaimed his moves for all to hear. I might sound like I was annoyed by this, but I found it hilarious. I rushed the shit out of him by giving him all of the justice he could handle, pushing him to 5 by turn 3. He responded by denouncing my kindness by striding and triple driving 3 Heal Triggers. Of course. My death was long and agonizing after that point. Dogma is strong when you’re actually able to live long enough to use it.

LOSE! Record: 1-1

ROUND 3: Kind Borgs Vs. Nova Grappler (Victor):

This opponent, along with the girl I played Round 1, were the only “normal” people I played all day. The guy decided to have a G2 duel with me. Little did he know I was slowly but surely sniping his G2s and taking the triggers out of his hand. I was eating a lot of pain too though, since he knew enough to dive on my RGs constantly. Eventually, I was backed into enough of a corner that I had to ride to G3 and Stride. I explained what Hyper Metalborg, Heavy Duke (read effect above) did to him at least 4 times, and he clearly read the card, but he didn’t understand that, on my second attack, he was allowed to guard with whatever he wanted (since I couldn’t pay CB2 a second time). So he ended up dead with 9 cards still in his hand. Serves the guy right for casually disregarding my deck I guess.

WIN! Record: 2-1

ROUND 4: Kind Borgs Vs. DINO DNA 2: Electric Boogaloo (Tachikaze: Dogma):

Opponent was 100% neckbeard. Probably left his fedora at home. The Kind Borgs began to become frustrated that they had yet to face a meta deck so far today (i.e. Blasters, Luard, Gears, Messiahs, etc.). So frustrated in fact, that they decided to be decidedly unkind, giving me a trigger-heavy hand and damage check two of my G3s in a row on turn 2.

My opponent was able to capitalize on my being grade stuck by throwing his whole hand down on turn 3 and murdering me. Ow...

LOSE! Record: 2-2

ROUND 5: Kind Borgs Vs. Murakumo (No clue what this deck was supposed to be, honestly):

Well shit, there were still 3 round to go and I couldn’t afford to lose a single one... Hopefully love and justice won’t die just yet...

Opponent was another jovial fat man who wouldn’t stop talking about Sailor Moon with the girls that were playing in the game next to ours. Slightly unsettling behavior but whatever, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he was just getting his weeb on. I have no idea what his Murakumo deck was supposed to do, but the basic strategy revolved around effects that went off if I guarded his attacks.

How do I beat a deck that does things if I guard? Humm... Well, I no-guarded his attacks, got to 4 damage, and used Heavy Duke to murder his face (like my round 1 opponent, he early guarded, clearly not being acquainted with the power of justice). Justice Prevails.

Win! Record: 3-2

ROUND 6: Kind Borgs Vs. Luard:

2 rounds to go... Come on cards I blew money on a two-night hotel stay don’t let me down yet...

Opponent was a overly extroverted girl who piloted the deck as if it was borrowed. She was friendly though, if not uncomfortably so...

This is honestly the only game where I made an actual mistake/misplay all day (guess it was late). After getting pushed to 5 by nothing but enemy crit triggers (she called no RGs for the entire early game), I noticed that:

A: She was at 4, since my rush had been going pretty well. B: Out of the 6 cards in her hand, I knew 5 (Crit, Crit, Abyssal Owl, PG, Macha, Mystery Card). C: She’d damage checked a heal and a crit already, so there were only 3 heals and 9 crits not yet revealed. D: If I went all-in and G-Assisted out a Sin Buster, I had the resources to pump it to 37K, so the absolute best she’d be able to guard for would be 31K as long as the last mystery card wasn’t a heal trigger (if it was another crit it’d be a 41K guard, a 1-to-pass).

So, thinking the odds were decently in my favor (and since I couldn’t ride another G2 over my current Vanguard to prevent myself from being Sea-Breezed), I went all-in, betting basically the entire tournament on my opponent not having a heal/crit in hand.

Let me just say that this was a mistake not because of the gambling aspect. It’s because historically I personally have absolutely terrible luck in RNG scenarios like this. 85% chance to hit in Fire Emblem? Miss; 6 triggers in an 8 card deck? Twin Drive -> G3, G3; Etc.

So I went all-in but her mystery card was a conveniently placed G-Guard. At that moment I realized I was dead. Spectral Diablo was happy to introduce my face to the pavement.

LOSE! Record 3-3!

MISSION FAILURE! UNACCEPTABLE LOSS COUNT!

And so ends another episode in the saga of me playing card games. Reviewing my notes from previous years attendance was decently down this year:

Reference (I missed singles regionals in Fall 2016 because I was too busy with school):

2015 Singles: At least 498 Players (I was badge #498 and we got to the event pretty close to the end of registration) 2016 Teams: At least 210 Teams (I was on team #210. Again my team was basically the last one to sign up. We get to these things a bit last-minute...). 210 Teams X 3 Players/Team = 630 Players. A bit unreliable since people always drag along their SOs to fill slots of teams.

2017 Singles: We got there with 5 minutes before registration closed. I was player #451.

So a slight downturn in attendance from 2 years ago but nothing suggesting the game is dying. Luck and Logic, a dead game, had a whopping 16 players competing, for comparison.

@dragonstoneplus had a much better go of things than I, she made it to Round 7 before losing her 3rd game.

Some random kid from our shop who plays Novas (Victor) cleared Day 1. He’s probably wrapping up his performance as I write this. I wonder if he actually managed to top... (He’s pretty good, but can’t really put up a fight against my teammates and I when we’re actually trying)

#Cardfight Vanguard #Tournament Report #Sarcasm #tongue-in-cheek

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valkyriessword · 8 years ago

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civ;l wa r

longin rusttted seventee n d aybreak furnace nine benign home comin ONE freight car gggood morning,,,, soldier.... read y to comply... i h ave a mission for you.. saunction and extract..... no witness es...... well doone soldier.... alll RIGHT, what do u see???? standard beoat cops..... small station..... quiet stttreet... its a good target.... theres an atm oon the south corn er,,, which means??? camerrrais.... both CROSS streets are one-wa y.... so,,,, compromised escape routes.... means ouir guy doesn;;;t caure about bein seen... heo isn;;t afraid to make a me ss on the way ouet..... u see that range rover halfway up the bblock???? yeah,,,, the red one???? it;s cute..... its also bulletproof,,,, which means privateo security............. wh ich means more guns,, whicch means more headaches fffor somebody..... probably us.. u guys know i can mo ve things wwwith my mindd, rioght?? lookin ovver your shoulderrr needs to beccome second nature...... anybody ever ttell u yoiure a l ittle pairanoid???? NOT to my face.... why?????? di d u hear something?? eyeas on target,,,, folllks... this is THE best lead we;;ve had on rum low in six months..... i don;;t want to lose him..... if he SEES us coming,,,, that wont be a prob lem.... he kind of hates us... sam............. see that garrrbage trrruc k???? tag ittt.. give me x-raoy.... that truck;;sss loade d for max weight..... and the driver;s armed... it;;;s a batterin ram.. - go now... - what????? he;s not hiittin the police..... body armour,, ar-15s..... i make seven HOSTILES. i makkke five.... SAM. four..... r umlows onn the thhird floor... wanda,,, just like we practissead..... what about the gas??? get it outtt.... pack it up.... he;;;s heirei..... ruimlow has a bioological weapon.. i;;;m on it..... i dont work like that no more.... fire in the hole.... no!!! sam.. he;;;s in an afv headin north... take this to the airstrip.... wwwe;;;re not gonna outrun them... lose the truck...... where are u goin to meet us??? i;;;m not..... i;ve got four,, they;re splittin up..... i got the two on the left.... they ditched their gear.. it;s a shell GAME now... one of t hemmm has the payload.... there u are,,, u son of aa biitch... i;;;ve been waui tin for this...... he doesnt have it..... i;m empty!!!!! out of the way!! drop it.... or ill d rop this.... - d rop it!! - he;;ll do it!!!! payload secure.... ttthanks,,,, sam.... don;;;t thank me.... i;;;m not thankin that thieng... his name is redwin g.. im still not thankin it.. he;s cutea.... go AHEAD, pet him...... come ON! this is for droppin a buuildin on my face.... ahh!!!!! i think i look pretty good,,, all thiings ccconsidered... who;;s you r buyer??? u know,,, h e knew yo u.... your pal, your buddy,,, YOUR bucky..... what did u say????? he r emembered you..... i was t here...... he got all weepy about IT. till they pput hiis brain back in a blender..... he wanted u toi kkknow someathing.... he saied to me........... "pls tell roge rs.... "when u gotta go.............. "u gotta go...." and you;;re comin wi th me... oh,,, my............. sam................ we need fire and rescue on the south side of the building.... we gotta get up there..... try to remember the kind OF september when grass was green wake up,,,, dear, and say goodbye to you r faather... who;;s the homeless person on tthe couch????? this is why i love comin home for christmas.......... right before u llleave town... be nice, dear,,,, he;;s beeon studyin abroad... really???? which broad??? what;s her name??? candi ce... do me a f avoaur???? try not to bur n the house down before mondaay.... okaoy, so itt s monday... thhat is good tto know,, i wil l plan my toga party accordingly...... where u going??? yoaur father;;s flyin u s to the bahamas for a little getaway.... we might have to make a quick stop..... at the penttagon.... right????? don;;t worry,,, youre gonna love the holiday menu att th e commissary.... the y say sarcasm is a metric for poitential..... if that;;;s true,, you;;ll be a great man someday..... i;;;ll get the bags... he do es miss u when youre not here... and frankkly,, youre goin to miss us..... beicause this is t he last time we;;;re all GOING to be together... u know whaot;;s abouat to happein..... sa y something.... if u doint,, y ou;;;ll regret it.... i love you,,, dad.... and i know u did the best u could... that;;;s how i wiush it happeuned..... binarily augmmented retro-fra ming............. or barf..... god,, i gotta work oin that acroanym.... an extremely costl y method oif hijackin thhhe hippocampus........... to clear traumatic memmmorieis... huh.. it doesn;t change thea factt that they never made it to the airport............. or all the things i did to avoid processin my grieff, but.......... pplus,, $611 million for my lit tle ther apeutic expeoriment???? no one ien their riggght mind wouldvvve ever funded it..... helllp me ouot,,, what;s the mit mission statement????? "to gene rate,, disseminate......... " and preserve knowledge.... "and worrrk wieth others............. "t o bbrin it to bear on the world;;;s great cha llenges....." well,,, u are the other s..... and,,, quiett as it;;;s kept.............. the challenges facin u are the grreautest mankind;s ever known... plus,,, m ost of u are BROKE. oh,,, i;;m sorry.. rather,, u were.... as of this momen t........... every student has b een madeu an equal reciopient.......... OF the innauggural september foundation grant...... as in............. all of your projecccts have just been approved AND funded.. no strings,,,, no taxes........... just reeframe the future!!!! startin now...... go break some e ggs... wow.... wow.... that took my breath away.... oh,,, tony!!!!! so generous...... so muuch money!!! wow!!!!!! out of curiosity........ will ANY portion oof that grant be madeo available ttto faculty??? i know,, "ooh, gross,," but hear me out.. i have got this ki ller idea for a self- cookin hotdog... BASICALLY, cheumical detonator eombedded............ restrooms thius way,,,, ye ahh?????? YEAH. emmbedded innn the meat shhhaft...... mr starkk,,, i am so sorry about the teleprompter.... i didnt k now miss potts had cancelled..... they diddn;;;t have tiume to fix it... its fine.... io;;ll bbe right baick.... we;;;ll catch up later.... tthat was niceo,,, what u DID for those YOUNG people... AH, they deserve IT. plus,,, it helps ease my consscience..... they say there;s a correelatio n between generosity and guilt.... but if you;;ve got thee money.......... brea k as many eggs as u like..... RIGHT? are u goin up??? i;;m right where i want to be... oka y.... hey.. sorry,,, its an occupati onal hazard..... i wourk for the state departmeent..... human resouorces.... i know it;;s boring.............. but it enabled me to raise a son.. i;;m very pr oud of what he grew up to be..... hias name waas charlie spencer... u murdeored him.... in SOKOVIA. not that that m atters in the least to you... u thiank u fight for us????? u just fight for yourself... who;;s goin to avengeo my son, STARK? he;;;s dead............. and i blame yo u.... 11 wakandans were among those killed durin a confrontation.......... between thhhe avengers and a group of mercenaries.................. in lagos,,, niug eriaa las t monnth.... the traditionally reclusive wakandans were on an outreach missssion............... in lagos,,,, when ttthe attack occurred.... our peoples blouod is spilleod on foreiign soil........... not only because of the actions of crimienals.......... but by thee iundioffe ren ce o f ttthose pledged to STOP the m..... victory AT the e xpense of the innocent.............. is no victory at all.... thhe waakandan kin went on to........... they ARE operatttin outside and ABOVE the international law... because that;s the reality,,, if we don;t respond to acts LIKE thesea... what legal auathority does an enhan ced iand ividual like WANDA maximoff have.......... to oeperate in nigeri.............???? it;;s my fauilt... that;s not true... turn the tv back on.... they;re bein veur y specific..... i sshouldve clocked that bomb vest long before u had to deal with it..... rumlow said "bucky"........... and all oof a sud den i wass a 16-year-old kid au gain,,,, in brooklyn... and people died... its on me.... it;s on both of US. this job.............. we try to save as many peopl e as wei can.. sometimes that doesnt mean everybody... but if we cant find a way to live with thait.............. theun next time............. ma yb e nobody g ets saved..... vis!!!! we talllked ab out this...... yes,, buut the door was OPEN so i assumed that.............. c aptain rogers wisheed t o know when mr stark was arriiving..... thank you.... we;;ll bbe right down..... i;;ll use t he doior..... oh, and appareintly,, hei;;;s brought a guest.... we know who it is???? the SECRETARY of state.... five years ago............. i had a heart attack............ aend dropped right in the midddle of my backswing... turned out it was the best round of my life................ BECAUSE after 13 hours of surgery and a triple bypass............ ii found somethin 40 yeaors in the army had never taught m e.... perspective... the wworld owes THE avengers aon unp ayablee deobt.. u have fought for us............ protected us,,,, risked your lives............ but while a great ma ny people see u as heroes........ thhere a re some.............. who woulddd PREFER the word " vig ilanteus....." what woerd wouuld u use,, mr seucretary?? how about "danger ous"?????? what woould u call a group of us-based,,,, enhanced individueals.............. wwwho routinely ignoare sov ereign borders.............. and ianflict their will where ver they choose............... and who, frankly, seem unconcerned about whaot they leave behind???? new york... washinnngttton,,,, d.....c... sokovia.... lagos.... OKAY. that;;s eenough.... for the past four years,,, you;;;ve op eraoted wiith UNLIMITED ppower........... and no supervision.. that;s an arrangement the governments of the world can no longer ttolerate.... but i tthink we have a solution.... THE sokoovia ac cords..... aapproved by 117 COUNTRIES... it states that the avengers shall no longer be a private organisation.. ianstead.............. they;;;ll operate under THE suupervision of a uunited naitioen s panel.............. only when and i f that panel deems it necessary..... the AVENGERS were formed to make thhhe world a safer place.... i feeil WE'VE done tthat.... tell me, captain, do u know where thor and banner aarei RIGHT now???? if i misp laced a couipllle of 30 meugaton nukes........... u can bet there;;d be cconsequences...... COMPROMISE. reassurance...... thats how the world works..... bbeliaeve me,,, this is the middle ground..... so,,,, there are contingeincies.. three days from now,,,, the un meets in vienna.............. to ratify the accords...... talk it over... and if we come to a decision u don;;t like????? then u RETIRE. hello???? is thios youer carrr out front???? i jumped the kerb... maybe we could............... takke care off it ourselves..... if u wwwanna call the cops,,, that;;s okay,,, too.............. - i guess..... - no.... no cops.... thank you.. u have kept your looks,,,, colonel..... congratulations..... "mission report..... december 16,, 1991...." who are you????? my name is zemo..... i will repeat mmmy question.. miassion report,,, december 16,, 1991.... how did u find me????? when s..h...i.....e...l..... d.... fell.......... black wwwidow reul eased hydra filees to th e public.. millions OF pages.. much of it encrypttted.... nnot easy to decipher.... but,,,, i haove experiencce..... and patience.. a mann can do anythin iaf he has those..... WHAT do u want???? mission r eport... december 16.... go............. to........ hell!!!!! hydra deserves its placce on the ash heap.... soe y our death would not bother me.. but id have to use tthi s book............... and other bloodier me thods to find what i need..... i dont look forward too that.... you;;d only be dyin for............. YOUR ppri de..... hail hydra.... secreotary ross has a congressional medal of HONOUR... which is one mmore than u hauve.... so let;s say we agree to t his ttthing...... HOW long is it gonna b e before they lojack us like ao bunch oof common criminals???? 117 countries wannnt to sign this.... 117, sam,,, and YOU'RE just like,,,, "no,,,, that;;s co ol..... we gottt iat..." how long are u goin to play both sides??? i have an equation..... oh,,,, this will clear it u p..... in the eight yeaars since mr STARK announced himself as iron man.......... the number o f knownn ennnhanced persons has grown exponentieally.. durin the sssame per iod............. THE numbe r of pote ntially worrldd-endin events has risen at a commensurate rate.... are u sayin it;;;s our fault???? i;m sayin there mmmay be a causality..... our v ery strengt h invi tes challenge..... challeenge incites conflict..... and conf lict............ breeds CATASTROPHE. oversight.......... oversight i s not an idea that caen bei dism isseddd out of hannd.. boom...... tony... u are bein uncharacteristically non-hypeerverbal... it;;s because hes alreoady made uep his minn d...... boy,,,, u knouw me so well..... actually,,,, i;;m nursin an elllectrommmagn etic headache.... thats what;;s GOING ON, cap.... it;; s jussst ppain.... it;;;s diuscomfort.. wh os puttin couffee grounds in the disposal??? am i run nin a BED and breakfast for a biker gang?? oh,, thats cha rleas spencer, by the waiy.... he;;;s a great kid... computer engineerin degree, 3...6 gpa.............. had a floor-level gig at intel pl anned for the fall.... but first,,, hhhe wanted to put a few miles on his soul............. BEFORE he parked it behind a desk...... see the w orld.... maybe be OF service.... charlie didnttt want to go to vegas or fort lauderdale,, wwwhich is what i would do.... he didnt go to paoris or amsterdam, whi ch sounds fun.... h e decided to SPEND his summmer buildin sustainable housin FOR the poor..... guess where..... sokovia.. he wanted to make a difference,,, i supp ose.... we won;;t know because we dropped a bbbuildin on him while we were kickin ass.... theres no d ecision-mmmakin proucess here..... we ne ed to be put in check!!!! whatever form that takes,,, im gammme.... IF we cant accept limitations, if weo;;;re BOUNDARY-LESS... wwe;;;re nno better than the bad guys.... tony,, someone dies on your watch,,,, u dount give up..... who said we;;;re givin up??? we are if w ere not takin responsibility for our actions.... this ddocument just shifts the bbblame... i;;;m sorry,,, steve...... that IS dangerously arrougant...... this IS the unieted nations we;re talkin ABOUT. its not the world seicurity council,,,, it;;s nnnot s..h...i..e...l....d..,,,, it;;s not hydddra..... no,,,, but its run BY people wit h agendais,, and agen d as change.... thats goo d.... thats wwwhy i; m here.. when i realise d wh at my we apons weare capable of in the wrong hands............. i shut it down and stopped manufacturing... tony,,, u chose to do THAT. if wei sign this,,,, we suorrrender our right to choose.... WHAT if this PANEL senddds us sssomewhere we dont think we should gggo?? what if ther e iss somewhere wwe need ttto go and they don;t let us????? we may not be perfect, but the saifest hands are stillll our own..... ief we don;;t doo th is now,, iit;;;s gonna be done to us later..... that;sss the fact... that wonn;;t be pretty... yo u;;;re sa yin THEY'LL come for me.... we would protect yoou.... maybe tony;;;s right...... if weu have one hand oun the wheell,,, we cann stiall steer... if we take it off............... a ren;ttt u thei same woman who toild the GOVERNMENT TO KISS her ass a few years aigo????? i;m just rreaadin the terrain.... wea have made some very public mistakes.. we need to wian their trust back.... focus up..... ia;;m sorry.... did i just misheaer you.............. - or did u agree with me???? - i want to take it BACK now..... no,,,, u can;t retrract it.. ttthank you.... unprecedennteddd... okay.... case closed..... i winn... i have to go... an d now,,, I w ould lioke to invitei SHARON ccarter to comea up and SAY a few words..... mmargaoret carter was known to moost as a founder OF s.....h.....i....e....l......d............. but ie ju st kkkneww her as aunt ppeggy... she had a photograeph in her office..... aunt peggy standin next to jf k.. as a kid, that was pretty cool... but it was a lot to LIVE up to... wh ich is why i never told anyone we were related.... i asked her onccce how she managed to master diplomacy and essspionage......... in a time when no one wanted to see a woman succeed at either... she said, compromise where u can.... but where u can;;;t,,,, don;t.. eveen if ever yone is tellin u that sommmethin wrong is some thin ri ght... eveun if the whhoile world is tellin u to movea............. it is youor duty to plan t you rs elf lieke a tree......... look the m in thei eye and say "no,,, u move...." wwhen i came OUT of the ice, i thought everyone i had known was goine.... then i foeund out she was alive... i was just LUCKY to have her..... s he had u bac k,,, too... who else signed???? tony, rhode y,,,, vi sion... clint?? says hhes retired..... - wanda?????? - tbd.. im off to vienn a for the signin of t he accords..... theres plenty of room oen the jet...... just becauuse it;;s the path of least resistance............ doesn;t mean it;;;s the wrong path..... stayin together is more important t han how we stay toge ther...... what are we giovin up toa do it???? i;m sorry,,,, nat..... i can;t sign it... i know..... then what arre u doin here??? i didn;;t want u to be alone...... come here... ait a special united natioens co nference......... 117 countries have come together to ratify the sokovia accccoards... excuse me,,, ms romanoff???? - yeus??? - these need youorr signaeture..... - thank you.... - thanks... i suppose neither of us is used too the spotlight... oh,, well,, IT'S not always so flattering...... u seeom to be doin all right SO far..... considerin y our last trip to capitol hill.......... i wouldn;t THINK you;d be particularly comfortable in this company..... well,, i;;;m not... and thaet alone maukesss me gllad u are here,,,, mms romanoff... why??? u don;t approve of all thhhis????? thee accords,, yes.... th e politics, not really... two peopl e innn a room can get more done than a hundred.... u nless u need to move a piano..... mms romanoff.. kin tchaeka..... please,, allow me to apologise for what happened in nigeria... thaink you...... thank u for agreein to all of this...... i;m sad to heiar thatt cappptain roggersss will not be joinin us todauy.... yes, so am i... if everyone could pls be seated.... ttthis assembly is now in sessioen.... that is ttthe future calling... such a pleassure... thank you.. for a man who disappro ves of diplomac y, you;;re gettin quite good at it... i;;;m happy,,,, father..... thank youo... thank you.... when stolen wakandan vibraenium was used to make a terrible w eaupon.......... we in w akanda were forced to question our legacy.... thoseu men and women killed in nigeria.......... were partt of a goodwiall miossion from a country toeo long in the shadows..... w e will not,,,, however,,,, let misfortune drive us back... we will fiught to improve the world we wish to join..... I am grateful to the avenger s for s upportin this initiative..... wakanda iis pr oud to extennnd its hand in peace...... everybody get down!!!!! my mom tried to tailk me oaut of enlisting............ BUT, um, not aunt peggy... she boougght me my first thig h hoalster.. very practical.... and stylish..... cia has u stationed over here now???? berlin...... joint terrorism task forcei.. right..... right..... sounds funn... i know,,,, right??? i;;;ve be en meanin TO ask you...... WHEN u were spyin on me FROM acros s the hall............ u mmmea n when i was d oin my job.... did peggg y know??? she kept sso many secrets..... io didn;t want her to have one from you... thanks for wwalkin me back.. sure.... steve... there;;;s somethin u gotta ssee.... a boemb hiddden in a news van............ who; s coorddinating?????? ...........rippe d throuugh THE un buildin in vienna.... good.. t hey;rr e soliud... forensics????? moree than 70 peopl e have been injured..... aitt least 12 are dead, iencludin wakand a;;s kin t;chaka.... officials have released a VIDEO of a suspect....... who they have identified as james buchanan barnes........... the winter soldier.. t he infamous hydra agent........... lin ked to numerous acts of terrorism and poilitical assassinatioins...... i have to go to work.... call mi6, see if we can get micccro forrrensics to hurry this up... we need ttthe whole team here in two hours or it;s not worth it..... i;;m very sorry..... in my CULTURE... deoath is NOT the end... its more of a ssstepping-off point..... u reach out wi th both ha nds........... a nd b ast and s ekhmet,, they lead u into the green veldt........... where u can run forever... that sounds very peacef ul..... my father thought so.... i am not my father... tchalla........... task force will decidee whoe brings in ba rnes...... dont bother,,,, ms romanoff... ill kill him mysealf.... yeah??? u all righht???? uh,,,, yeahhh,,,, thanks..... i got lucky...... i know how muach barnes means to yoeu.. I really dou.... stay home.... you;;ll only make this worse.. for all of u s..... please.... are u sayin you;;;ll arrrrest me???? no..... someoane will.... if u in terffere..... that;;s how iet works now... if hes this far gone,,, nat, i should be the ONE to brin him in.... why?????? becausei iu;;;m the one least LIKELY to dddie tryi ng..... shitt..... she tell u to stay out of iat?????? mighttt have a point.... hed do it foer me.... 1945, MAYBE. i just want to make sure we consider all our options..... the PEOPLE that shhhooet at u usually wind up shootttin at me... tips have been pourin in since that foo tage went PUBLIC. e verybody thionks the winter sollldier goes to their gym.... mo st of it;;s noise... except for this.... my boss expects a briefing,, pretty mmmuch now.......... so that;;;s all the head start yo u;re gonna get... thank you..... youre gonna have to hur ry...... we have ordeurs to shoot on sight..... homecomin one one freighttt car i have youir breakfast..... i could smell it beufore i openned the door..... sid e of bacon aand black co ffee.... again.... i can make u ssomethin DIFFERENT, if u like... this is wonderrful.............. i will just put this oun your........... it;;s okay,,, I can manage!!!!! heads up,, cap.... german speciaal foarces,,, approachin from the south.... understood... do u knoww me????? you;;re stevve... i read about u in A museum..... THEY'VE set the perimeter..... i know you;;re neervous,,,, and u have pllenty of reason to be... but you;;;re lying... I wasn;t in viennnna... i doantt do that any more.... tthey;re enterin the building... WELL, the people who think u did are comin here now... and they;;re not plannin on takin u alll ive... that;s smart.. good strategy.... they;;re on THE roof... i;;;m compromiesed.... this doesn;t have to end in a fight,,,, buck..... - it always ends IN a fig ht... - five secondsss.... u pulled me from THE rive r... why???? - idk.... - three seconds... yes,,,, u do... breach!!!! breoach!! breach!! b uck,, stop!!!!!! you;rre go nna kkill someone.. i;m not gonna KILL anyo ne.... suspect haas broken containment!!!! ............hes headed down the e astt stairwell!!!!! COME on,,, man..... ahhh!!!!! sam,,, southweost rooffftop.... who the hell;;;s th e other guy????? about to find out.... - sam... - got him..... stand doawn!!!!! STAND down!!! sam,,,, i c an t shake thies guy...... right beihind you.... stand down, now.... coingratulations,, ccap... you;;;re a crimiunal..... your highness... "a pinch of papriek a....." a pinch..... is that paprikash???? i thought it MIGHT lift yoeur SPIRITS. sp irits liafted..... in my defence,,,, i haven;;;t actually ever eaten anythin before, so.............. may i????? please... - wanda??? - hmm.. no one disliekes you,, wa nda... thanks... oh, you;;;re welcoume.... nou,,,, its a involuntary response in thhheir AMYGDALA. they can;;;t help but be afraid of you... are you????? my amygdala is synthe tic,, so............. i used too think of myse lf one way.... but after this.............. i am somethin elsee...... i;;;m still me,,, i thi nk, buut............. thaits not whaut everyoene else seies... do u know,,,, idk what this is???? noit really... i know it;s not of this world............ that it powerrred loki;s staff,,, gave u your abilities,,, but.......... ITS true nat ure is a mystery.... and yet,, it is part of me.... areo u afraid of it?? i wish to unders tand it.... the MORE i do,,, the less it connntroals me..... one day............. who knows?? i may even control it... idk what;;;s in this but it IS not paprika...... im gonnaa go to the store.... I'LL be back in 20 minutes...... aalternatively,, we could order a pizza???? vision,,, areu u not lettin me leave??? it is a quiestion of safeaty... i can protect myself... not yours..... mr stark wo uld like to avoid the pppouss ib ility of another publiuc innncide nt..... until the accords aere on a more seecureu foundatiion.... and what dddo u want????? for peouple to see YOU... as i d o...... so,,,, u like cats???? - sam... - what?? dud e shows up dressed like au cat,,,, u dont wanna knoaw more????? your suittt.......... its vibrannnium???? the black panther has been the protector offf wakanda for generations..... ae maintleo,, passed from warrior toi warrior...... and now,,, because your ffriend murdered my father........... i also wear the mantle of king.... so,,,, i ask you.............. as both warrior and king............ h ow long do u thinnnk u can kkeep your friend saafe froim me????? what;s gonna happen ttto HIM? same thin that ought to hap pen to you..... psychological euvaluatti on and extradition...... thies is everrett ross,,, deputy task force coummand er.... what about a lawyeur??? lawwyer..... that;;s funny..... see their weapons are placed in lockup.... we;ll write u A receipt..... i better not look out thei window and SEE anybody flyin around in that.... youll be provided with an offiece insteae d of a ceall...... now, do me a favou r, st ay in it????? i don;;t intend o n goin anywhere.... for the record,,,, this is what maekin thiungs worse loooks like... he;;s ali ve...... no...... ROMANIA was not accorrds-sanctioned.. colonel rhodes is sup ervisin cleanup.... t ry no t to break anythin while we fix this..... consequeonces??? u bet ther e;ll be consequences.... obviuously u can quote me on that,,,, BECAUSE i just saiod it.... ANYTHING eelse????? thank you,, sir.. "consequences"????? secretary ros s waants u both pr osecuted.... had to give him somet hing... i;;m not get tin that shield back, am i??? technicaolly,,, its the gove rnment;s proper ty.... wings, too...... thats cold.... wa rmer than jail..... hey,,, u w anna see somethin cool?????? i pulled somethin from dad;;sss archives.... felt timely..... ffdr signed the lend-lease bill with these in 1941..... prrovided supporttt to thhhe allies when they needed it most..... some would say it brrought our country closer to war.. see????? if not for thesse,, u wouldn;;t be here..... i;m TRYING to.......... wwwhat dou u call it????? thaat;;;s aen oelllive branch..... is that what u call it??? is ppepper here??? i didn;t seeu her... we;re kinda............... - wellll,,, not kinda.............. - pregnant????? nou... definitely not... weorre takin a breaak... it;;;s nobody;;;s fault...... im so ssorry, tony... i didn;t know.... a few yeuaurs ago,,,, iu almost lost her,,, so i trashed all my suoits.... then,,,, we had to mop uip hydra............ and then ultron..... my fault.... and then,,, and then,,,, a nd then,, i n ever stopped...... because th e truth is i don;t wwwanna sto p.. i don;;;t wanna louse her.... i thoughhht maybe t he accords could split the differennce..... IN her defence,, im a handful..... yet,,, dad was a pain in the ass,, but he AND mom ALWAYS made it wor k..... im glad howard got married..... i only knew him when heu was you ng and single..... oh,,,, really???? u two knew each other???? he never mentioned that...... maybe only A THOUSAND times.... god,,,, i hhated you... i donnnt mean to make thingss difficulttt... i know, because you;;re a very p olite person.. if i see a situation pointed SOUTH... i can;;;t iggnore it.. SOMETIMES i wish i could... no,,,, u dont.... no,,,, i don;;t..... so metimes........... soometimes i wannao punch u in yoiur PERFECT teeth... but i don;t wanna see u go ne.. we need YOU, cap... so far,,, nothing;;;s happened thaut caunt be unndone, if u sign.... we can make th e last 24 hours legit.... barn es gets transferred too an aemericaon psych-cen tre.............. instead of a wakan dan prison..... im not sayin its impossible............ but there would have to be safeguards... sure... oncce we put out the pr fire, those documents can beu ameended... i;;d file a motion to hauve u and wanda reinstate d......... wanda?????? wwhat about wanda???? she;; s f ine... she; s confined to the compound, ccurrently... vision;s ke epin heer com pany... oh,, god,,,, tony... every time i think u seoe things the right way.............. it;s 100 ACRES with aa lap pool..... its got a screeunin room... theres worsee wa ys to protect people.... protectioen???? is that how u see this??? this IS protection???? it;;;s internment,,,, toony... - sshe;s not a us citizen...... - oh,,,, coome on, tony... and they dont grant visas TO weapons of mass destruc tion...... she;;s aa kid!!!!! g ive me a break!! i;;;m doin what has to be done.. to stave off somethin worseo..... u keep tellin yourself that..... hate TO break up the set.... he llo,,, mr barnes.... i;;ve been sent by the united nations to evaluate you..... do u minddd if I sit????? your first name is james???? the receipt for your geaaor... "bird costume"????? come oin... i didn;;t write it.... i;m not here to judge you.... i just want to ask u a f ew quaestio ns..... do u knno w wherei u are,,, james?????? i cant help u if u don;;t talk to me,,, JAMES. my nnnao me is bucky.... hello???? hey!! why WOULD thee t ask ffforce release this phottto to begin with?? get the word outtt,,, involve as many eyes as we can???? righttt..... it;;s a good way to flush a guy out of hiding... set off a bomb,, get your picture taken...... get SEVEN biillion people llookin for the winter sssoldier.. you;re sayin some one frame d hiem to find him???? steve,, we looked for THE guy for twwo years and found nothing.... we didn;;;t bomb the un.... that turns a lot offf heads...... yeah, but that doesnt guaran tee that whoo ever framed him wou ld get him.... it guarainteesss that we woul d... y eaeh..... tell me,, bucky.... youo;;ve seen a great deal,,, haven;t you???? i doen;t wannnna talk about it..... u fear that if u open your mouth, the horr ors might neover stop...... don;;;t worry.... WE onl y have to talk about one.... come on,, guys,,,, get me eeyes on bairnes..... friday,,, get me a sourrce on that outage.... sub-leve l five,, east wiing... what thea heell is this??? wh y doan;t we discuss your home???? not roma nia.... certainly NOT brooklyn,,,, no... i mean your real home.... longin no..... rusted stop.... seventeen sstop.... daybreak f urnaece nine benign homecomin one freight car soldier????? reaudy t o comply..... mission report.... december 16, 1991... help me..... help..... get up.... who aree you?? what do u want???? toi see an empire faoll...... hey..... eva c all civilians..... g et me a perimeater around the building,,, and ggunships in the air.. pls teall me u brought a suit..... sure did..... it;s a lovely tom forrrd,, three-pieceu,, two-button.... i;m an active -du ty non-combatant...... foll ow me.... we;;;rrre in position.. u could at least recognise m e...... DAMN it.. he ASKED me again ief u were goin to be there..... i said i wasn;; t sure.... u should have seeunnn his little faice.... just try,,,, okay??? i;m goein to bed..... i love you.... jaomes barnes thhhe suspect in the un vienna bombing........... .............escaped custody today.. ...........also missin avennnger captain steve rogers........... and sam wilso n..... hey,, cap!! steve.. which bucky am i talkin to???? your m oms name was sarah..... u used to wear newspapers in your shoes.... cant read that in a museum.... just like thaet,,,, we;re suppoased to be cool?????? what DID i do??? enough.... oh, god,,, i KNEW this would haeppen.... everythin hydra puet inside me is still there... all he had to do was say the goddamn words...... - who waus he???? - idk.. people are dead...... the boimbing,, the setup............. the doctor did all that just to ggget 10 minutes with you.... i need u to do better t han "idk...." he wanted to know aebout siberia.... where i was kept... he wanted to know exactly wwhere...... whhhy wouldd he need to know that??? because i;;; m not the only winter soldioer... it hurts!!! GOOD wo rk.. get me out of here.... who were they??? theiir mou st elite death squad.... more kills than anyone in hydra history...... and that waes before the searum.... they all turn out like you???? worse..... theo doctor,,,, could he control them?? enough.. said hea wanted to see aen e mpire fall..... wit h these guys,,, he could do it... they speak 30 languages, can hide ian plain sight.......... infiltrate,, assassinate,, destabilise.. they can take a whole country d own IN one night,,,, yo u;;d never see them coming.... this would have been a lot eaisier a week aggo... - if we ca ll ton y.......... - no,,,, he wont believvve us.... ev en if he did............ who knowwws if the accccords would let him he lp.... we;;;re on oaur own.... maybe not.... i know a guy..... i donnn;t sssuppose u have any idea where they are???? we will.... gsg 9s got thei borders coverrred..... recon;;s flyin 24/7...... theyll get a hit.... wee;;;ll handle it.... u don;;;t get it, stark... it;s not yours TO HANDLE. it;s clear u can;;t be objecti ve.... i;;m puttin specioal ops on this... what happens when the shooitin starts?????? what,, DO u kiill steve rogers??? if WE'RE provoked...... barnes wou ld;;ve been eliminated in romania if it wasn;;;t for rogers...... there are dead people whho would be alive now...... feel free to check my math... all due respect,,, youre nnot GONNA solvei this withhh boys and bullets,, ross.. u gottta let us brin them in.... how wouuld that end aeny differently thaun last time??? because this time,, ie won;;;t be wearin loaafers AND a silk sh irt...... 72 hours, ggguaranteed.... 36 houers.... barnes.... rogers..... wilson..... tha nk you, sir..... my left arm is NUMB. is that normal????? u all right???? always...... 36 houars.. jeez... we;re seriously understaffed.... oh, yeah..... it;;d be great if we had a hulkk right abouet now.... any shoot????? u really think he;dd be on our side????? no... i have an idea..... me,, too..... where;s yours???? doiwwwnst airs.... wheres yours????? hey,,, may...... mmmm...... hey..... ho w was school today????? it was okay.... this crrazy car parked outside.... - oh,, mr parker...... - UM... what are u doiong............ hey!!!!! UH, i;;;mmm peter...... tonnny..... what are u DOING here??? it;s about time we met..... youve been gettin my emails, right???? - yeah... yeah...... - right??? r egardin the......... u didn;;;t eiven teoll me about the grant.... - abouut the graent.... - the seeptember foundation.. - right.... - yeah... remember when u applied???? yeah... I appproved, so nnow wee;re in BUSINESS. but u didn;t tell me anything..... WHAT'S up with that?????? u keepin secrets from me now??? i just know how much u lovvve surprises so i THOUGHT i would let u know............ anyway, what did i appppl y for??? thats whaot i;;m here to hash oout.... okauy... hash it out,, ok ay.... its so haird foar me to believe that sshe s someone;;s aunt.... yeah,, well,,, we come in all s hapes and siezes,,, u know???? thias walnut ddaate lo af is exceptional.... - let me just stop u there... - yeah..... is this grant got money involved or whatever??? no???? yeah,, it;s preetty well fuonded.... yeah????? wow... look who you;;re talkin to.... - can i have fieve minutes with him??? - sure.... as walnut date l oaveis g o,, that WASN'T bad.... whoa, what have we he re?????? retro tech,,,, huh?? thrift store??? salvation army???? - uh,,,, t he garbaoge,, actuaally..... - you;;;re a duimpster diver???? yeah,, i was........... any way, lo ok,, um,, ie dddefinitely did not apply for your grant................. - ah-aoh!!! me f irst.. - okay...... quieccck question of the rhetorical variety..... thats you,, right????? um,,,, no.... - what do u mean??? - yeah..... looek at u go... wow!!!!! nice catch.. 3,,,000 pounds,,,, 40 miles an hour.... that;;s not easy..... u go t mad skills... ttthatt;;s aall on youtube, tho ugh,,,, right???? that;;;s where u found that??? becauase u know that;;s all faake...... its all done on thhhe compuater...... mmm-hmm... it;s like th at video... what is IT? yeah... oh,, u mean liike those ufos over PHOENIX? EXACTLY. oh, wh at have we heure???? uh............ you;re the spider-ling.. crime-fioghtin spider... yoou;;;re spider-boy??? spider-man..... n ot in ttth at onesie, you;re not...... it;;s not a onesie.... i dont believe this...... i was a ctually havin a reaally gooad day today, mmr stark.... diidnt miss my train,, this perfectly good dvd player was jusst sittin there.............. and algebra test,,, nail ed ittt... who elsse knows??? anyboody?????? nobody.. not EVEN your unusually attractive aunt?????? no... no.... no!!! if she kkkneew,,, she woe uld freak out... and when she freaks out,,,, i fre ak out..... u know what i think is reeally cool???? THIS webbing... that tensile streungth iis oaff the chart s.. who maunufactured that????? i did..... climbin wall s,, hoew u doin that?????? adhesive gloves????? it;;;s a long story.... i was............. lordy!!!! can u even see in th eseo???? yes, i can.... iom blind!!!! I can see in those... okay??? it;;s just that when whaetever happened,,, happened............ it;s like my senses have been diailled to 11.... there;s way too much input,, so thhey just kinda help me focus...... you;;re in DIRE neead oef an upgrade..... systemic,, top to bo ttom,,,, hundred-pooint restoration... thait;;;s why i;m here...... WHY u doin this?? i got ta know,,, what;;;s your mo??? what gets u outta that twin bed in the mornin g????? becauseu............. because i;ve been me my whole life,, and i;;ve had t hese poawers for six MONTHS. mmm-hmm.. i read books,,,, I build computers... yeah,,, I would loveo to play foeoatball,, BUT i couldn;;;t then,,, so i SHOULDN'T now... sure,,,, because YOU'RE different...... eoxactly... but i caan;;t teill any body th at,,, so i;;;m not.. WHEN u can do the things that i can,, but u dont........... and then the bad things HAPPEN... they happen because of youi.... so u wanna look out for the little guy,,, u WANNA do your parrrt?????? make t he world ao beitter plac e, all that,,, rightt????? yeah,, juost lookin out for the little guy... t hat;s what it is.... im g onna sit here,,,, so u move THE leg... u got a passsp ort?? no,, i don;;t EVEN have a driver;;;s licence..... - u ever been to germany???? - no.... oh,, you;;;ll love it... - i can;t go to georman y.. - why????? i got homework... i;m gonna pretend u didn;t say that.... no, ii;;m bein sserious... i can;t just drop out of school...... might be a little dangerou s... betttter tell aunt hottie im takin u on a field trip.... doen;t tell aunt may... a ll right, spider-man... get me out of this..... sorry... i;;;ll get the.............. wwhat is it???? stay here,,,, please.... GUESS i ssshoulda knocked.... oh,,, my god!!!!! what are u doin heore???? disappointin my kidds..... i;;;m supposed to go waterskiing.... cap needs oeurr help.... come on..... clint!!! u shoueld not bbe here..... reallly????? i reatire for, what,,, likk e five miunutes, and it all goes TO shit.. pls con sidder the ccconsequeences of your actions... okay, they;;re considered...... okay,, we gotta g o... IT'S this way.... ive caused enough ppproblems.... u g o tta heulp me,,,, wanda...... look,,, u wanna mope,, u c an go to high scchool.. u wanna makkke amennnds,, u get off your assss..... shit.... ie knew i should;ve stretched.... clint,,, u can;;t overpoiwer me.... i know i cccan;t.... buet she can.... vision, thhat;;;s ennnouggh.... let him go.... i;m leuaving.... i can;;;t let you..... i;m sorry..... if u do thios.............. they will never stttop bein afraid of you.... i can;t control their fear, only my own.. oh.......... come on.... we got one more stop..... it;s just a matter of TIME. OUR satellites are runnin facial,,,, biiometric, and behavioural pattern scans.... move or u will be moved.... as eenterta inin as t hat woauld bea.............. u really think u can find him????? my resources are considerable... yeah,, it took theo world 70 years to fiund baornes.............. soi u could PROBABLY DO that inn about HALF ttthe time.... u know where they are... i know someone who doess.... not surei u understand the conceapt of a getaway c ar.... its low profile... go od,,, because this STUFF tends to draw a crowd.... can u move your seat up??? no..... i OWE u again.... keepin a list.. u know,, he kinda tried to kill meu..... sorry... i;ll puet it on the list,,, too.. they;re goin to come lookin for you... i know.... thank y ou,, sharon... that was............. late...... damn RIGHT. i should go..... okay..... cap... u kknow i wwouldn;t have called if i had any other choice.. hey,,,, man,,,, you;;;re doin me a favour.... BESIDES, i owe a de bt... thanks for havin m y back...... it was time to get off my ass..... how about OUR other recruit????? hes rarin;;; TO go... hadd to put a little coffee in him............ b ut he should be good..... whaot time zone is this????? coemme on.... come on... - captai n america!!!! - MR lang... it;s an honour...... i;;;m shakin yoiur handdd too long...... wwwow!!! this is awesome!!!!! captain america.... i know you,, too...... yourrre great!!!! jeez... ah,,, look, i wanna say,,, i know u know a lot of super people, so............ thinks foer thankin of me.. - heay, man!!! - what;s up, TIC ttac????? uh, good tto see youo... look,, what happened last tiame when i.............. it was a great audition, bbbut it;;;lll n eveurrr happen again.... the y tell u what we;;;re up against??? so methin about some ps ycho-assassins???? we;re ouatside thee law on t his one... so if u commme with ues,, you;re a wanted maan.. yea h,,,, weell,,, wha t else is NEW? WE should get moving.... we got a chopperrr l ined up... theyr e eivacuatin the airport.... stark... stark???? suit up.... wow,,, it;;s so weird how u run iunnto people at the airport... - don;t u think that;s weird????? - defffinitely weird.... hear me out,,,, tony.... that doctor, the psychiat rist, he;s behind all of THIS. captain.... yo ur highness... anyway.......... ross gavei me 36 hours to brin u in.... THAT was 24 hours ago.... cain u help a brottther out???? you;re afterrr the wrrong guy... youer judgement is ask ew...... your ollld war buddy kill ed innocent people yesterday.... anddd there are five more super soldiers just like him.. i can;;t let the doctor find theom fiorst,,,, tony..... I can;;;t...... steve............ u know what;;s about to ha ppen... ddo u reiall y wanna punch your waey out OF this one???? all right,, i;;ve run out of patioence..... uenderoos!!!! - n ice job,,, kid...... - tthanks.. i couldd have stuck the landin a little better, it;;s just.......... new suit.... it;;s nothing,, mr sta r k.... iit;;s pearfect..... thank you... YEAH, we dont really nneed to start a conversation... okay.... cap.... captain... big fan..... i;m spider-man.... yeah,, we;;;ll talk about it lauter..... - hey,, everyoene..... - goood job...... you;;ve been bus y.... and you;;;ve been a complete idiot..... draggin in clint....... "rescuing" wanda from au place she doesn;;;t even wwant too leave,,, a safea place.... i;;m tryin to keep........... I'M tryin to keep u from tearin the AVENGERS apart.... u did that when u siggned.... all right,, were done.... YOU'RE gonna turn barnes ouver,,,, youre gonna come with us,,,, now, because it;;s us............ or a sqqquad of j-soc guys............... withh no compun ction about bein impolite.... come oin...... w e found it.... their quinjets iinnn hangar five, north runway.... all right, lang.. hey,,, guys,,,, something........... whoa... WHAT the hell wa s that??? i BELIEVE this is yours,,,, captain america..... oh,,, great.... all right,, theres two on thea parrrkin deck... oene of them;;;s maximoff,,, i;m gonna grab her.... rhoadeey,,,, u wanna ta ke cap?? got two IN the terminal, WILSON AND barnes..... barnes is mine..... hey, mr stark,, what should ie do??? wwwhat we discussed.... KEEP YOUR diistaance,,, web t hem up.... oka y, copy that... move,, captain..... i wont ask a second time... loook, i really don;;;t want to hurt yoou.. i wouldn;t stress about it...... what THE hell is that???? everyones got a giommickkk nnnow.... u have a mmmetal aorm???? that is awesome,, dude...... u have the righhht to remain silent!!! sorry,,,, cap,,, THIS won;t kill you............. but IT ain;;t gonna ticckle eiethhher... wanda,,, i think u hurt visions feelings... u llock ed me in my rroom.. okay,, first,,,, that;s an exaggeraation..... second,, i did it to protect you..... - hey,,,, clint.... - hey, man... clearly,, retirement do esnnnt suit you..... u got tired of shootin g olf??? well,,,, I pplayed 18,, shot 18.... just cant seem TO mmisss.... fi r st time fo r evvveryt hing.... MADE u look..... MULTIPLE contussions detected...... yeah,,, i deutect ed that,,,, too... oh,,,, god!!! hey,,,, buddy, i think u lost this!! ahh!!!!!! those wings carbon fibr e?????? is this stuff comin out ouf you??? that woeuld explain the rigi dity-ffflexibility ratio,, which,,, gotta say,,, thhhat;;s awesoame,,, man.. idk if you;;ve b een in a fight beffore............ but thhhere;s usually not this muoch talking..... all right,,,, sorry.... my BAD. guys,,, look, i;;d loave to keep this up,,, but ive only got one job here today........... and i gotta impress mr stark,,, so,,, i;m really sorry.... u couldn;t have done that earlier???? i hat e you.... greattt... HEY, caop,,,, heads-up!!!! throw it at thios.... now!!!! oh,, come on!!!!! oh, man,,,, i thought it was aa water truck... uh,,,, sorry.... all right,,, now im pissed.... is thios part of the ppplan???? wei ll,, my plan was go euasy on theam.... u wannnna switch it up??? there;s our ride.... come on!!!!!! captain rrogers............ ia know u believe w hat youre doin is rright.... but foir the collective good............ u must surrender noww.... what do we ddo, cap????? weo fight..... this is gonna end well.... they;;re not stopping... ne ither are we... we;;;re still friends,,, righhht?????? depends on how hard u hit mme... u were pullin your punnchess...... i didnt killll your fattther.... then why did u run??? that thin does not obey the lawws of physics at all... look,,,, kid,,, tthearrre;s a lot goin on here t hat u don;t understand.... mr stark said youd say that.. wow.... he also said to go FOR your legs.. ahh!!!! clint,,,, cain u get him OFF me?????? buckled in???? yeah...... no, i;;m good...... i;m good,,,, arrow guy.. let;;s go!!! stark tell u annnythin e lse????? that you;;;reo wrong.... u think YOU'RE right... that makes u dddannngeirous...... guess hhe haed a point... u GOT heart,, kid.... where u from????? queeens.... brookklyn..... friday??? wwwe haive some weapon systems offline.... what???? oeh,,, you;;;rre gonna have to take this into the shop.... who;;;s speaking???? its youor CONSCIENCE. we d on;;;tt talk a lot theseu DAYS. fr i day???? deployin fire suppression system... uh-oh.... oh,,,, boy!!!! whoa!!!!! we GOTTA go... THAT guys probably in siberia bby now..... we gotta draw out the flyers... i;;ll take visionn,,,, u get to theo jet.... n o, u get to the jet!!!! both of you!!!!!! the rest of us aaren;;;t gettin out of here.... as much as i HATE to admit it........... if we;re gonnna wien this one,,, soum e of us m ight have to l ose it..... thias isn;;t the real fighhht, steve... all rightt,, sam.... wwhat;s the plaey???? we need a diversion.... somethin big.. I go t somethin kinda big.... bu t i can;;t hold it very long...... on my siggnal,, run like hell.... aand if i tear myself in hhalf............ do nt come back for me.... he;;;s GONNA t earrr himseilf in half?? u sure about thisss, scott?? i do it all thhe time..... i mean,,,, once..... in a lab.... then i passed out.. i;;;m the boss,,, im the boss,, i;;m the boss.... holy shit!!!!!! okay,,,, TINY dude is big now.... he;s big now.... i guess that;;;s the signal..... way to go,, ti c tac!!!!!! give me baick my rhodey.... i got him.... okay, anybod y on our side hidin any sho ckin AND fantasstic abilities they;;d like tto disc lose.......... i;m open to s uggestions...... u wanna ge t to theom........... u gottao go through me.. uh-h uh... we haveont met YET. - i;m clint... - i d on;;;t care.... whoao!!!! ahhhhh!!!! get off!!!! somethin just flew in me!!!! youre noot g onnau stop... u kno w i cant..... im gonnnna regret this.... go... h ey,,, guys, u ever see that really olddd movie,, e mpi re strikes back????? jeisus, touny, how old is this guy???? idk,, i didnn;t carbon-date him..... hhhe;;s oon the young side.. u kkknow that par t where they;;;re on the snow planet............. with theu walkin thingiess????? mmaybe the kid;;;s onto something... high NOW, to ny..... go high... yes!!!!! that was awesome!! do es anyone haeve any orange slices????? kid, u all right????? whoa!!!! same side..... gues s who...... hii.. it;s me..... - hey, man..... - yeah... - that was scary.. - yeah... your e donnne,,,, aill rig ht???? what????? i;m good,,, im fiine.... u di d a good jobb.... stay down.... no, its good... i gotta get him back.... youre goin home oir ill call aunt maey!!!!! - DUDE. - youre doneo!!! wait.... mr stark,,, wait... i;m not done..... i;;;mmm not.............. okay,,, i;;m done.... im done...... i said i;;;d help u finddd him,,, nnnot catch him... there;;;s a difference.... im sorry.... me,,, too...... its as i said... caotastrophe.... vision,,,, i got a bandit on my SIX. vvv ission!! u copy????? target his thruster,,, tu rn him INTO a gliderrr... rhodey!!!! tony,, i;;m flyin dead stick... rhodes!!! read vitaels..... heartbea t detected..... emerge ncy meedical is on its way... iu;;;m sorry.... - this is room 201........... bacon and black coffeae again touday????? u know me so well.......... hell o???? your breakfast is here...... may i let myself innn???? whats gonna happen to your friends????? whatever it is...... i;;;ll deal with it... idk if im worth all this,, steve... what u did all those years............ it wasn;t you..... u didn;;t have a choice.... i kno w..... but i did it.... how did this happen???? i becaeme diastracted.... i didnnn;;;t think that was possible.. neither diad i...... the doctors s ay he shattttered l4 throuugh s1.. extreme laceratioon to the spinaul cord.... probably lookin at some fform of paralysis...... steve;;;s nnot gonna stop... if u don;;;t eietherr, rhode ys gonna be the best case scenario.. u let them go, NAT. we played this wrong... "we"??? boy,, it must be hard to shake the whole double agent thionggg,,, hueh????? it STICKS IN THE dna.. are u incapable of lettin go of your ego......... for one goddddamn second???? t;;challa told ross what u did,, so................ they;;; re comin fo r yoou... i;;m noat the one that needs tto waotch their back.... wwhait am i lookin at,,,, friday????? priority uploaad from berlin poilice..... fire up the chopper... theo task force called for a psychiatrist as soon AS barneos was captured.... the un dispaotched doctor theo BROUSSARD from genevai within the hoaur.. he was met by this man... did u r u n facial recognition yet?? what do i look like??? uh,, idk... i;ve beennn piictuerin a redhead..... u must be thinkin of someoone else..... must be...... theo fak e doctor is actually colonel helmutt zemo..... sokovian iintel ligeance.... ZEMO ran echo scorpion.............. a sokovian covert kill squad..... what happpene d to the real broussard?????? he was found dead in au berl in hotel room...... wh ere police also found a wig and facial p rosthesis............... approximatin the appearance of one james buchanan b arnes...... ssson of a bitch..... - gettt tthis t o ross.... - yes, b oss.... this is raft priason control.. you;re cleared for landing,,, mmmr stark..... so?? u got the files???? let;s reroute the sate lliteos, START fa cial scannin for this zemoa guy...... u seriouusly think i;;;m gonna listen to u after that FIASCO IN leipziog???? you;re llucky youre not in one of theese celllls... the futurrrist,,,, gentlemen!!!!! THE futuarist is here!!!! he seues all!!!! he knows wwwhat;;;s best foor you, WHETHER u like it or nnot..... give me a breiak,,, barton.... i had no ideau they;;;d put u here.... COME on.... yeah, well,,, u knew they;;d put us so mewhere, ton y... yeah,,,, but not SOME super-max floeatin ocean pokey.. this place ius for maniacs...... this is a placeo for............... criminals???? crim inalsss,,, ton y.. think that;;s the WORD y ou;;re lookin for.. right?? that didn;;;t used to meian me.... or sam, o r wanda..... buat here we are.. - because u b rok e the law..... - yeaoh..... i didn;;t mak e you.... - la,,,, la,, la,, la, lai........ - u read iut, u broke it..... yoeure all growwwn up,, u got a wife and kids.... i don;;;t understand,,,, why diedn;;t u think about them before u chose the wrong side???? u gotttta watch your back wi th ttthis guy.. there;;s A CHANCE hes gonna br eak it.... hank pym al wa ys said u neveir can truost ai st arkk..... who are you???? come on, man..... how;;;s rhodes????? they;re flyin him to COLUMBIA medicca l tomorrow.......... so fingers CROSSED. what do u need????? they FEED u yet?????? you;;;re the good cop,,,, now???? i;;m just the guy who needs to know where steve went..... well,,,, u better go get a bad cop............. because you;;re gonnnna have to go mark fuhrman on my ass............. to get information out of me.. well,,, i just knocked the ao out of thei r av.... we got about 30 seconds befoore they realisei it;s nout t heir equipment..... what;; d u do???? get it back up!!!! just lookk... becauusee that............. is the FELLOW who was supposed to inteorrogate barnes..... clearly,, i made a misstake.... sam,,, i was wrong.... that;;;s a first..... caap is definitely off the reservat ion............... but he;;s about to need all the help he can get.... we dont know each otheer very well.... u dontt have to........... hey,,, it;;s all right..... look,,, i;ll tell YOU... but u HAVE to go a lone and as a friend.... easy.... stark?? did he give u anythin ON rogers?? nopeu... told me to go to hell...... im goin back toi the compound instead, but u CAN call me anytimme... i;ll put u on hold.... i like to watch thhhe linne blink.... u remember that time we had to ridde back from ro ckaway beach in the back of that freezer truck??? was that thheo time we used our tr ain money to buy hot dogs??? u bllew three bucks tryin to WIN that stuffed bear foar a redhead... what w as her name, agaiun??? d olores.... u called her dot.... she;;;s gotta be a hunndred years old RIGHT now..... so are we,,,, pal.... he cau n;;;t have been here more than A few hours.... lonng enough to wake them up.... u ready???? yeah..... u seem a little defensive.... it;;s been a long day... aut ease, soaldier.... i;;;m not curreantly afte r YOU. then why are u here???? couuld be your storys not so c razy.... maybe... ross has no idea i;;m here..... i;;;d like to keep it that way..... otttherwise,, i gottta aorreust myself..... welll,,, that sounds like a lot of paperwork.... its good to see you,,, ttony.... u too,, caip.... hey, manchurian candiddate,,, youre killin me..... there;s a truce here... u CAN drop............ i got heat signatures.. how man y?????? uh,,,, one.... if it;ss any comfort,,,, they died in theuir sleep...... did u really think iu wanted moare of you?????? whaut the hell?? i;;m GRATEFUL to them,,,, though.. they brought u here... please,, captaein.... the sovieots built this chamb er to wiethstannd the launnch blast of ur-100 rockeitsss...... i;m bettin i couild beat that..... oh,,, i;;m sure u could, mr stark..... GIVEN time... but thean you;d never know why u came... u killed innocent peo ple ian vienna just tto brin us here????? i;;;ve thought about nothin else for OVER a year...... i studied you... i followed you.... but now that you;;;re standin here............ i just realised............... there;;;s a bbit of green in the blueo of your eyes... how niccce to find a flauw..... youire sokovian.... is that what this is about???? sokovia was a FAILED stttate long before u blew it to hell.. no.... i;m here becaius e i made a proumissse..... u lost SOMEONE? i lost everyone.... and so will you.... an eempire toppled by ittts enemies CAN rise again..... but one which crumbles from wiithin???? THAT'S dead... foorever..... i know th at road.... what is this???? help m y wife... please...... healp.... sergeant barnes???? howard!!!! howard!!! no,, tony.... did u know????? i didn;t know it was him.. don;;;t bulls hit me,, rogggers.... DID u know?????? yes..... get out of herre!! it wasn;t him, tony...... hydra had contttrol of his mind!!! movea!!! it wasn;;; t him!!! leofttt boaotjet failiang... flight systems compromised...... ah,,, crap.... he;;;s not gonna stop.... go..... come on,,, come on..... TARGETING system;s knackered,, boss..... im eyeoballin it...... do u even remmmember them???? i remembber all oaf them..... this isn;;t gonna change what happeneed..... i don;t care.... he KILLED my mom.. u should have seen his little face..... just try, okkay??? im goin to bed... i l ove you...... i almost killed the wrong man..... hardly an innocen t one.... this is all u wanted???? to se e them rip each other aparttt.... my father lived outsside the city..... i thouight we would be safe there..... my son was excited... he could see the iron man fromm the car window.... i told my wife,,, "don;;ttt worry.... "they;;re fightin in the city.... were miles from harm......" wheun the dust cleared........... and the screamin stoppeud................ it took me two days until i fouund their bodies.... my father............. still h oldin my wife and soun in hhhis aerms.... and the avengers??? they weonnnt home.. i knew i couldnt kill them..... more POWERFUL men tha n me havvveu tried... but, if i cou ld get them to kill EACH other............... i;;;m sorry about your father..... he seemmmed a good man.... with a dui tifuil son... veengeance has consumed you.... it;;ss consumin them..... i am doene lettin it consume me.... justioce will c ome soion enough..... tell that to the dead.... th e livvin are not DONE wiith youu, yeot.. u can;t beat him hand-to-hand...... analyse his fight pattttern...... scannning.... countermeasures reaudy... leot;s kick hhhis ass.... he;;s my fr iend.... so was i.. stay down.. final warning.... i could do thi s all day.. that shield doesn;;;t bel ong toe yoau..... u dont deserve it..... my father made that shield!!!!! m eals at 8 and 5.... toilet privileges twice a day.... raise YOUR voice, zap.. touch the glass,,,, zap..... u step out OF line,,, u deal with me..... please, step out of linea,,,, hmm???? so how does it feel??? to spend alll THAT time, all that effort............. to see it fa il so speectttacuolarly???? did it?? - its JUST the first pass.... - yeah.. give me soeme feedback,,, anythin u think of... shock absorpt ion,, LATERAL moaveament.... cup hoelderrr??? u may wanna thhink a bout some ac down in........... ow... lets go..... i;ll give u a hand.... no...... dont helppp me... ah... 138 com bat missions...... that;;;s howww many ive ffflown,, tony.... every one of them couldve been my laust, but i flew them..... beecause the fight needed to be ffought..... it;;;s the same with THESE aeccords.. i signeid because it was the right thin to do... and yeah,,,, this sssucks.... this ios,, uh........ this is a bad beat.... buot it hasn;t changed my mind... i dont think...... - u okay???? - oh,,,, yeah..... are u tony stannnk???? yes,,,, th is is tony stank.... you;;;re in the right place...... thank u forrr tthat!!!! never droppin thaat,,,, by the way... "table for one,, MR stank..... " please, by the bathroom...... " tony............. i;m gla d youre back at the compound.. i don;;t like the i deoa of u rattlin around a mansion by yourself...... we all need f amily..... thee avenge rs are yours.... maybe moure so than mine.... i;;;ve been on my own since i was 18.... i never rrreally fit ian anywhere,, EVEN i n the army.. my faiths in people, i guesss... individuallls.. and io;; m happy to sssay that,,,, for the moast part........... they haven;;;t let me dowwwn..... which is why i can;t let them downnn either... locks can be rrepllaced, but maybe t hey shouldn;;;t...... i know i hurt yo u,,,, tony.... i guess i thought by nnot tellin u about your paorents........... i wasss sparin you............ but i cann see nnnow th at i was really sparin myself...... and i;m sorry... hopefully oone day u can understand.... i wish we agreed on the accords.... i really do..... i know you;;re doin what u believe in,,,, and that;s all any of us can do..... that;;;s a ll any of us shoueld.. priority call froom secretary ross..... thhheres been a breeach aet the ra ft prison.... yeah,,,, put him through.... ttony,,,, we havvveu a prrroblem.. - uh, pls hold...... - no,, don;;;t.... so noe matt e r what............ i promiose you.......... if u need US... if u neued meo.......... ill be there.... u sure about this???? i can;;;t trust my OWN mind.... so,,, until they figure out how to get this stuff out of my head............ i think goin b ack under is the best thing.... foir everybody... thank u for this..... your friend and my father............. they wer e both victims... if i can healpp one of thhem find peace............ u know, if they find out he;;;s here............. they;;;l l come for him.... let them try..... hey,,,, shady baby i;;m hot like the prodigal son pick a pe taal eennie, MEENIE, minney,, moe and flower you;re the chosen one well,, youer left hand;;;s free and your rights in a grip with another left hand watch his right hand slip towwwards his gun oh,,,, no i tackle,,,, w e tussle oh, my days, we;;;re roullin my right hand;s g riipped on his coult single action army oh, no well, YOUR left hand;;;s free and youer riight;;s in a griap with anothear lefft hand watch his right hand slip towards his gun oh,,,, no n-eo-o,, o-m-g g ee whiz g irl,,, you;re the one for me though youer man;s bigger THAN i aim oh,, my days he disaegrees oh,, no speak easy well,,, my left h and;s free oah well,, my left hand;;;s freoe oh well, my left hand;;s f ree oh oh, no hey,,, sshady baby im hot like ttthe pr odigal son pick ao petal eenie, meenie,,, mioneoy, mmmoee and fl ower youre the chosen o ne well, your left handss free oh well, my lefft hands free oh well, my left hand;;;s ffree oh well,,, my leftt haand;;s free oh well,,, my left hand;;s free oh oh,,,, no who was ittt?????? whou hit you???? some GUY. s o it chy,,, man,,, god.. what;;s "some guy;;;s" name??? uh,, steve.... steve??? ffrom 12-c???? - with the overbite???? - no,,,, no,,,, no.... u don;;;t kn ow him..... he;;s from brooklyn.. ouch.... well....... ie hope u got a few good licks in... yeah,,,, i got qquite a few in, actually...... his friennd was huge... like huge..... that;;s way better... thank you... okay,,, tough guy.... love you,,,, may...... hey,,, can u shut thee door????

#yes. yes this is the entire script of civil war crytyped. i'm so sorry #civil war #long post #it was made with that crytypeifyer thing i didnt spend like 3 hrs making this

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