#getting two line launcher kicks is really kicking my ass because i keep getting my ass shot to death lol

[gothamcityneedsme]

i only have 4 maps left on nightwing's campaigns wheeeee.

[scaryscarecrows]

I'd Crawl on Broken Glass to be the One That Laughs Last

Gotham’s gone straight to Hell in a handbasket. Scarecrow’s dead, which is no loss, but Bruce is missing, Arkham blew up for reasons unknown, and the Arkham Knight’s Militia is still in control. Oh, sure, there’s a fair chunk of them in lockup, but they’ve been getting steadily more riled as the days wear on (three days since the Asylum, their boss has to be dead, who’s in charge now?), and the tanks are still running patrols, the bombs are still in the road, and there are checkpoints and watchtowers everywhere.

Jim thinks they’re waiting for something. There’s been no assault, not like he thought there might be. The street thugs and any uncaptured Rogues are still allowed to run wild, though the watchtowers have been spotted taking shots at something big flying around out there. Honestly, they’re even leaving the police alone, for the most part...but they will still shoot at the cars if they get too close. It’s like they’re on babysitting duty or something until the Knight gets back. It’s unsettling.

He’s out doing a little exploration-he doubts they’ve killed Batman, or they’d be gone, but Bruce still isn’t around-when something drops onto the roof of his car. He hits the brakes, tires screeching, and narrowly avoids sliding into a tank crossing the road.

Breathe.

Jim has no time to go for his gun before the driver’s side door gets ripped open by what Jim can only describe as the Hulk. The man outside is only a little smaller than Bane*. There’s a rocket launcher on his back and Jim’s sure he’s not the one that landed on the car, because the car would be a pancake.

He’s proven right a second later when the polar opposite of the giant jumps down. That said, this guy might be tiny, but he moves like he knows half a dozen ways to kill you. The cherry on the disaster sundae? Both of them are wearing army fatigues.

Militia. Shit.

“Boys,” he says, already planning on how to get that rocket launcher from the big one, “don’t be stupid.”

The little one doesn’t say anything. The big one laughs and before Jim can move, he’s been pulled out of the car.

“Boss wants to see ya.”

So they have a boss. Who. Who is it? One of their own? Riddler? Penguin? Goddamn Deathstroke? Who is his new problem?

“No.”

“Sorry.” The man does sound mostly sorry. “Not really askin’. C’mon.”

Jim tries to slam his elbow into the man’s collarbone. He doesn’t even really get to move before the little guy grabs his arm and wrenches it behind his back. Not hard enough to dislocate it, but hard enough to be a warning.

“We don’t want to have to hurt you, Commissioner,” the big man says. “We’re just picking you up.”

“Go to Hell.”

A gun presses against his back. Fine. He’ll go. But he won’t like it.

* * *

He’s disarmed, bundled into an APC, and blindfolded. After way too many sharp turns and double-backs, he’s...somewhere in the underside of the city. He’s thinking over near Drescher.

Wherever it is, he’s pulled out of the APC, taken inside somewhere, and handed off to new hands. When the blindfold comes off, his kidnappers are nowhere to be seen.

The men in charge of him now (and only for now, give him time…) are less...unnerving...than the other two. One is wearing the white uniform of a medic, and the other is having a snack. Cashews? Cashews.

The medic is a man on a mission. Jim doesn’t even manage to get out a, ‘you’ll be sorry’ before the man’s turning on his heel, jaw working furiously, and snapping, “Come on.”

“Where are we going.”

“Boss wants to see you, won’t listen to reason. This way.”

He stalks off and the snacker chuckles.

“Cashew?”

“No.”

“Suit yourself.” They follow the medic down a crumbling hallway. “They didn’t scare you too much, did they?”

“What’s with the good-cop-bad-cop routine?” he demands. “Is your friend up there gonna come back and threaten to carve my face off?”

The man just laughs.

“Probably, but he does that to everyone.”

“Sometime today!”

Huh.

Jim thinks they might be in the old mall. Scarecrow had been driving that way when something had happened, and, well, if Jim were going to have an evil base of operations, this would be a good one. Lot of ways in and out, nobody ever comes down here anymore-too dangerous-and it’s big, big enough to hold tanks and soldiers and whatever else these boys have. When they round a corner, he sees a familiar logo and decides that yes, that’s where they are. Hm.

They round another corner and end up in the back of the building. Jim’s not sure what this was, but there’s a corridor lined with doors. The medic stops in front of one and turns, hands clasped behind his back.

“Twenty minutes and no more,” he snarls at Jim. “You’re lucky you get that many minutes. You try anything, you might live to regret it. Might. You tire him out, out you go, I don’t care if it’s been two minutes. Don’t touch shit, don’t knock shit down, don’t--”

“I think he’s got the picture,” his other escort soothes. “Don’t terrorize him.”

“Humph. With the amount of work I had to put in to keep his dumb ass alive, I’m entitled to terrorize people.”

“Still.”

“And I’ll tell you something else. You lay a finger, one solitary finger on him, you so much as breathe too hard--”

“There won’t be anything left to bury,” the other man says, smiles with all his teeth. “Here you go, Commissioner.”

“Twenty. Minutes.”

And then he’s shoved into a room with--and good God, how--the Arkham Knight.

The Knight is lying in bed. He looks the worse for wear, but Jim can’t quite muster up pity for him. This...this is his fault. Gotham, Bruce, Barbara…

He swallows down the rage. Not because it’s the right thing to do, but because the Knight’s not alone. Jim supposes they wouldn’t just leave him unattended, not with those injuries, but still.

The Knight doesn’t seem to notice Jim. He’s certainly not looking at him. He’s looking at the laptop the other man has. Right now, at this exact second, he looks like a sick kid, wan and tired, eyes fluttering like he’s fighting to stay awake. But he’s not. Robin or not, he’s...the Knight’s not that boy anymore. Robin wouldn’t have done this, any of this. Robin’s dead.

“Sir.” The other man here isn’t wearing a uniform, he’s wearing jeans and a raggedy flannel that hangs open over some sort of band shirt. But his bearing is still that of a soldier’s, and the rifle leaning against the wall by his chair is top-of-the-line. “Gordon’s here.”

“Hrm?”

“Remember? You wanted to see him.” The Knight blinks a few times, heavy and confused, and tries to lever himself up before his companion reaches over to pin his shoulder. “Don’t do that.”

More confused silence. Now that he’s moved his head, Jim can see his pupils are blown wide. That’s not a surprise. He’s pretty sure he was in Arkham when it came down, and he hadn’t looked well before that.

Serves him right, he thinks, remembering the cuts on Barbara’s cheeks and chin. Serves the bastard right.

He keeps his mouth shut. The laptop has been closed and set aside, and the rifle is now in its owner’s lap. It’s casual enough, but the threat’s there all the same: you’ll go through me to get to him.

He wonders, a bit, what drives these men. He doesn’t really care, but he wonders a little all the same. Even the ones in the cells have been resolute that ‘the boss’ will get them out, that he’s got everything in hand, just you wait and see.

...in their defense, Jim had thought he had to be dead, and yet here he is. So.

“S’right,” the Knight finally breathes. He sounds terrible, and Jim suddenly matches the purple swelling on his throat to handprints. That scares him. Not out of pity or sympathy, but because what little he’s seen of the man says he can handle himself. Whoever did that… “S’right.”

“You up for it?”

He’d better be. Jim was kidnapped off the street for this.

“Yes.” Good. “Glad to see you’re unharmed.”

No thanks to you, Jim doesn’t snap, resolutely ignores the memory of the Knight holding up his hands and telling Scarecrow, voice painfully earnest, to take him and let Jim and his men and Robin leave in one piece. He settles for a curt nod, can’t quite muster up a, wish I could say the same.

The Knight pulls in a painful-sounding breath and drops his head to the side.

“Bring up the footage for Commissioner Gordon, would you?”

“Yessir.” The laptop returns, balanced delicately over the rifle. Jim doesn’t know if he wants to know what’s going on. “Hang on...give it a sec to load…”

The Knight moves and visibly bites back a wince, but the new angle means that Jim can see the full extent of the bruising on his neck.

“There we go--you okay, boss?”

“Ribs,” he breathes. “They don’t like it when people zipline into them.”

What.

“Need me to call--”

“No.” He swallows hard and beckons Jim closer. “M’fine. Just sore. And stiff.” He clears his throat, grimacing. “You worry too much.”

“I worry exactly the right amount.”

“M’just not used to being still this long--”

“Deal,” his friend says sharply. The Knight just grins, but that annoys the other guy. “Did you miss the flatline bit?”

“Technically?”

“I--never mind.” He makes an irritated noise in the back of his throat. “Never mind...okay, all set.”

He turns the laptop around and Jim hesitates before perching on the very edge of the bed. Nothing terrible happens to him.

“This is footage from my helmet. How it kept going after that level of trauma, I’ll never know, but my IT department managed to recover it remotely.”

The footage picks up in a dark area, abandoned sewer network or something, probably, and it’s glitchy and stuttery.

Bruce has been caught on camera before, but not like this. This is...savage, animalistic. He comes out of nowhere, dodging gunfire and seemingly oblivious to the shouts of surprise, and moves in via a flying kick to the camera itself, which goes white and static-y for a second. A few of them come up behind him and suffer backhands and powerful kicks for their troubles, and then Bruce fills up the frame, shoulders positioned like he’s got his arms out and...and...

He looks at the Knight, looks at the bruises around his neck, and looks back at the screen in time to see Bruce going down and being dragged backwards.

“He do this to you?”

The look the man gives him is so reminiscent of the little boy Jim remembers that it makes his head spin. It screams, I know you’re not really that stupid...right?

“Well, I didn’t do it to myself.”

“--okay, sir, I’m just gonna…”

The helmet moves and Jim spots the medic from earlier before it gets set on the ground, facing Bruce. Bruce is chained to a pipe, seemingly unconscious.

“Don’t talk, just nod. Can you breathe okay?”

There’s an obvious cut--they don’t want to share it all, apparently--and then Bruce stirs and starts...giggling. Jim knows that giggle.

“What the hell.”

The Knight shudders and burrows under his blankets.

“It’s complicated. We’re reasonably sure he’s been eliminated, or at the very least contained, but--” A hand moves, presumably indicating himself. “I made it out. He might have, too.”

His friend closes his laptop and sets it aside.

“We’ve got teams sweeping Arkham’s grounds to the best of our ability,” he says. “Unfortunately, we are not a rescue team and as such are not fully equipped to handle the more unstable areas. That said, given the police department’s...track record...we would very much prefer that your men stay out of our way until we either find the individual formerly known as the Batman, or definitively confirm his demise. We’re hoping that at the very least, any injuries he may have sustained slowed him down, but we can’t prove that, given the lack of video footage for the incident.”

“It’s our understanding that Batman has, at least for the time being, lost his fight against the effects of J.” The Knight swallows. “Of Joker’s blood. I attempted to contain him--”

“Contain, my ass,” his friend grumbles. The Knight ignores him.

“I attempted to contain him,” he says again, “via...ah…”

“He blew up the goddamn asylum with himself and Batman inside,” comes the sharp interjection. “In case you managed to miss that.”

Jim had not managed to miss that, thank you very much.

“I noticed,” he says dryly. The Knight huffs a painful-sounding laugh and falls silent.

There’s. There’s a lot Jim wants to say. The Knight was Robin, and Joker killed him (and made sure they all knew it, that tape, good God, he’d sent it to everyone and Jim remembers Dove bursting into tears when she tried to tell him), but he’s not dead now, and look at what he’s done.

Much as he’d like to demand answers--or at least bring half of that up--he won’t. He doubts the man with the laptop will react well; now that he really looks, the man’s tense, clearly poised to move if he has to.

Jim can probably take him. He absolutely can’t take the others that will come at the commotion.

There’s a small dinging sound, and silence, and then an urgent, “Sir. Sir.”

“Hrm?”

“We got something.”

The Knight blinks a few times before half-surging up and demanding, “Let’s go, let’s go, then, help me up--”

“Chair or Trent?”

“Neither--”

“Chair or Trent.”

“Chair,” he grumbles after a second. “But I can walk on my own--”

“Yeah, but if the doc sees you, he’ll be mad. Here it is.”

Jim moves, semi-prepared to offer to help but not really wanting to, but they must have a system, because the Knight’s in the chair with a blanket in short order.

“I feel like a cheap Bond villain,” he’s complaining now. “One that rolls down a ramp into an electrified pool or something.”

“Maybe next time, you’ll consider your life choices, sir.”

“They weren’t supposed to come back to haunt me!”

“I know, sir.”

“Christ...what do we have.”

Should he…? Sure, apparently.

What a day. He needs a drink. A good strong one.

“My understanding is it’s better seen than explained, sir. No body, I don’t think.”

“Fantastic...the bastard’ll survive anything.”

Jim privately thinks the same applies to him, but he doesn’t share that thought. He doubts it will go over well.

The computer room isn’t crammed full of people. There’s one guy on the monitors and another one-one of the ones from before, actually, the one with the cashews-lounging in a chair next to him, drinking a Coke.

“What’s going on, you said something turned up--” He doesn’t quite hide a shiver, but when the other people in the room zero in on him, he shakes his head and insists, “M’fine.”

“Boss, I can link this to a laptop if you’re s’posed to be in bed--”

“M’fine. Pull up the footage.”

“You’re not gonna like it,” monitor-guy says, spinning around and wheeling over to make room. “Looks like he got out, same as you.”

“Seriously?”

“Would I joke when it mattered, sir? Here, look. See this?” He makes the screen bigger. “That look familiar to you?”

It certainly looks familiar to Jim. Bruce’s cowl is difficult to mistake, and there it is, crumpled in the rubble. It’s singed, and one of the ears is broken, but it is Bruce’s cowl.

“Damn,” the Knight breathes, and...Jim doesn’t like admitting it, not after tonight, but...he looks so young. A scared little boy, that’s all. “That’s not good.”

“What do we do, sir?”

“We don’t even know for sure if he’s out.” The Knight’s friend leans over the chair to get a better look at the monitor. “Maybe he tried getting out and died, we don’t--”

“I made it out,” the Knight says quietly.

There’s a wave of annoyed grumbling that includes at least one, ‘self-sacrificing dumbass’ and a, ‘in spite of your best efforts’. Jim has to wonder about that one. He can’t muster up that much sympathy, but he does wonder.

The Knight just sighs and adjusts his blanket around his shoulders.

“Fair. Anyways, seeing as I found a way out, it’s not unlikely that he’s done the same, barring the. The possibility of an instant death. I suspect we wound up in a pocket, though, so.”

“You didn’t notice anything on your way out?” Jim demands. “Was he right with you?”

“I was--”

“Concussed and bleeding to death,” a new voice snaps. “And in no shape to be walking, let alone note-taking. What the hell are you doing out of bed?”

“Briefing the--”

“Literally anybody else can do that.” The angry voice belongs to the medic from before. “You don’t seem to understand what ‘flatline’ means, sir, or maybe you’ve just got a death wish, but tough fucking titty, said the kitty, you’re not dying on my watch. Say bye-bye to the commissioner, you’re going back to bed and staying there or on God, I’ll put you in a coma and keep you there until you don’t have so much as a bruise. Do I make myself clear?”

Jim expects argument. None of the Robins ever let Batman boss them around to that extent, and he knows damn well that if he’d backtalked his superiors like that, he’d be in, frankly, deep shit. But the Knight just sighs.

“He’s been here long enough, anyway.” Long enough for what? “Keep your men out of our way, Commissioner. No offense, but Batman existed for a reason. You can’t handle him.”

Jim bristles.

“Can’t handle--”

“You know it’s true,” he snaps, and straightens up, turns to the man with the cashews. “Call everyone back.” All of a sudden that’s no longer a little boy playing Soldiers. That’s the man that crippled Gotham within hours. “I want everyone off the streets and back at base, now. Do not engage under any circumstances.”

“Yessir.”

“Get into the street cameras,” he continues. “If a rat comes out of a sewer, I want to see it. I want whatever drones we have left out and searching, but leave the car alone. That hasn’t worked so far and I’m not losing more--”

He must breathe wrong, because he suddenly starts coughing, harsh, violent whoops from down in his chest.

“Get him back to bed,” the medic orders once the coughs cease. “Or he’ll be Snow White and believe you me, nobody is getting in here to kiss him awake.”

“Jones--”

“We can handle this, sir. We’ll let you know if something comes up.”

“But--”

“You trained us for this, remember? We’re professionals.”

The Knight falls silent, one hand still pressed against his ribs, and finally melts back into his chair.

“Fine,” he says at last. “Bye, commish.”

He doesn’t recognize the men that take him back. The streets are empty, though, barring the patrolling drones, and they make it back to the GCPD unscathed.

Unfortunately, Jim returns to, quite frankly, a disaster. The officers on duty are tied up, and the militia cells are empty. Not a man left. He’s just freeing Cash when the broadcast screen crackles and the Knight appears on it, face serious.

“I mean it, Commissioner,” he says. “Keep out of the way, or I’ll put you in a cell instead.”

“You--”

“Tell Bullock hey for me, would ya?” He leans forward. “Stay safe.”

Click.

THE END

*I’m figuring Bane is bigger than the Giant Mooks because his boss fight consists of you jumping on him to slash his Venom tubes AND because he can and will run you over, while Giant Mooks of any affiliation are not rideable and don’t run.

[themaribatpit]

Jasonette July Day 3: Grave

Written by: The Maribat Pit  @jasonette-july-event

Prompt: Grave (EDIT : trying to make it look consistent)

Rated: T

Side note: Tikki and Plagg being the ones who created the Lazarus pits is my favourite bit of Maribat crossover lore. 

Marinette had only known Jason for about a year, ever since that day he commissioned her for a new suit and leather jacket design.  She had seen news reports about the Red Hood, but she had never seen him in person ever since she came to Gotham.  That was until he visited her just as she was getting ready to close up shop.  Marinette needed to know why her mysterious client was asking her to work with a great big bolt of Kevlar.   It seemed like a challenging task for the young boutique owner.  It wasn’t necessarily being used for nefarious purposes. He was a crimefighter, one of many that tried to keep Gotham safe.  Tikki felt like there was something strange about him, but she couldn’t quite put their finger on why.

She didn’t think she’d ever see him again, until one night when there was a loud banging on the boutique door.  Marinette was about to say something about people having no manners when she saw a redhead in a red suit and a green cap…with someone’s arm slung over his shoulder.  Marinette rushed to the front door to find the Red Hood, with his helmet cracked to reveal a part of his face.  She could make out some matted dark hair and a red domino mask around his eye.  “Please, do you think he can lay low in here for a while? At least until we can get him fixed up,” the redhead asked, “we can’t take him to the hospital”.   Marinette looked around before hurrying them inside.

She got to know more about Jason, the person behind the red mask.  There’s only so much you can hide from a person after they end up cleaning and stitching your wounds in their apartment.  He told her that he slept on the streets of Gotham before being taken in by Batman when he was 13.  He told her that, when he was 15, he went on a journey to find his birth mother and he was never the same since.  Jason would say that the old him died that day.  Marinette assumed he meant that he was so drastically changed by the experience, that he was unrecognizable from his old self.  Still, she got to know the person he was in that moment, and that was what mattered.  The two became close and started dating shortly after, and Marinette told him that she had been a superhero since she was 13.  Marinette remembered seeing a worried look on his face, before assuring him that she was up against very different villains from what he was used to in Gotham.  Marinette wondered if he was worried that she could have ended up like him?

Marinette knew that there was a roguish charm to him, possibly a remnant of the young boy he described from his past.  She would occasionally help him as Ladybug, and he became impressed with her quick thinking in a fight.  Marinette told him about the time she got a rocket launcher as a lucky charm and discarded it because she only needed the targeting laser.  She was certain that she saw a tear in his eye at that moment.  Marinette also knew he was someone who cared about those close to him, a group of people who now included her.  She got the chance to meet the rest of his adopted family, that is when he wasn’t at odds with them.  Dick reminded her far too much of Chat Noir, Damian was a lot colder and more standoffish, Tim told her he’s like that with everyone.   Though he wouldn’t admit it, Marinette knew Jason would put his life on the line for his adopted brothers.  She came to know Roy as the more optimistic of their dynamic duo, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t battling demons of his own.  As the year went on, Marinette went from being unsure about him, to feeling safe and warm with him by her side.  Even Tikki came to see that whoever this person was, he made their Guardian happy, and that was what mattered most.

Today, however, Marinette had been worried sick.  Jason had left for a mission in a rush, barely able to say goodbye.  That was days ago, he had not answered any of her messages or her calls.   She paced around the apartment in a panic, “why isn’t he answering? Is he hurt? Captured? Worse yet…dead?” She slapped her cheeks, trying to snap out of it.  

“Jason’s strong, he can handle it.  If he’s in trouble, I’m sure Dick or Tim would help him.  If he’s really in trouble, Bruce would certainly help him,” Tikki assured her as Marinette paced around the room.  

Marinette decided to take a trip to Wayne Manor, having some of Alfred’s baking would calm them both and she could ask him about Jason’s whereabouts.  Ladybug sets off to Wayne Manor, changing back before she arrives at the front gate.   When she arrives in the kitchen, she is greeted by Alfred wearing an apron. "Welcome Miss Dupain-Cheng, you're just in time. I'm doing the finishing touches on the ginger biscuits. Why don't you take a seat while they cool?"

Marinette smiles at Alfred,  she could smell the biscuits from the front door. "Thanks, Alfred, I came to ask about Jason. I haven’t heard from him in a while,” she asked.

Alfred scratched his chin, "Master Todd? It would be best to ask Master Bruce then if it's related to work. He is currently asleep and should wake up in an hour or two"

“Thanks, Alfred, mind if I have a few biscuits to go then? I'd like to have a walk in the gardens, " she asked.

Alfred nodded and handed the biscuits to her in a paper bag. 

Marinette took a stroll around Wayne Manor, walking past Damian drawing something, whilst a large dog was curled around him.   She came across the private Wayne cemetery at the very edge of the estate. She was drawn in by the Gothic architecture and design of the area. Curious about the history of the Wayne family, she tentatively wandered into the graveyard.  She saw the graves of Thomas and Martha Wayne. Everyone knew the story of how Bruce watched in horror as they were killed in Crime Alley. 

She froze in shock as she saw one grave in particular, tears began forming in her eyes. “Here Lies Jason Peter Todd: Gone But Not Forgotten” in large bold letters.  She felt her heart breaking, many questions raced through her mind.  How did he die? Why didn’t anyone tell her? Did no one at least think to invite her to the funeral?  She was too stunned to move, Tikki floated down to take a close look.  Before she could utterly break down in tears, she heard a voice behind her.

“Hey, Pixie Pop” Marinette whipped around to see Jason standing before her.  He was casually eating a chilli dog, acting as if standing in front of his gravestone was the most natural thing in the world.  Marinette didn’t know if she should feel happy, distraught or furious.  At first, she slammed into him, hugging him tightly.  “Hey, Pixie, did you miss me that much?” He was about to return her hug, and maybe finish eating the chilli dog over her shoulder, when she softly pounded her fists into his chest.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” She asked, her fists punctuating her words, Jason was trying to make sense of what she meant.  He had told her that he had died before, or at least tried to.  Even he didn’t like to talk about it, the events leading up to it and how he was brought back.  Eventually, she stopped, and just curled into him with tears streaming down her face.  Right now, the last thing she needed was dumb jokes as he held her close to him. 

“I’m sorry, I” Jason tried to explain, only to be interrupted by Tikki.

“Marinette,” Tikki called, Marinette looked back at the gravestone to see the date written on the tombstone.  The year was 7 years ago when Jason was around 15.

She turned back to Jason “so when you said that your old self died…”, Tikki finally realised why she always felt there was something strange about him.  The Lazarus pits, the result of a wish that she and Plagg were forced to grant long ago.  Tikki could sense her magic on him, and a faint hint of Plagg’s magic that would consume him if left unchecked.  In the time he’d known Marinette, he had managed to keep it under control, for her sake.

“So what happened? These last few days I mean,” she asked as she pulled away, wiping her tears on her sleeves before crossing her arms.

“I was gonna call you, Roy and I were in Paris fighting killer mimes when one of them fried my phone,” he explained.  “I tried to get you something to eat from your parents’ bakery on the last day we were there, your parents said ‘hi’ by the way”, he told her. 

“Then what happened?” she asked, he wasn’t holding any paper bags or boxes with their logo on them.

“Roy ate them all is what happened, right after his little talk with Killer Croc,” he told her.

“So why didn’t you just drop by for a visit when you came back?” she asked.

“We tried to, but Roy was craving chilli dogs and I was just ready to crash,” he replied.  The look on Marinette’s face told him that if he didn’t do something, he might be back in that grave a lot sooner than he thought.  “Look, I’ll make it up to you, starting with taking you to that little craft store you love…” he suggested, the corner of her mouth pulled into a slight smile.  “I’ll buy you as much silk, satin and tulle as you want. Paid for with money we got from kicking killer mime ass”, he promised. 

“You mean I’ll get a chance to sew something that isn’t Kevlar, leather or your flesh? Who are you and what have you done with the real Jason?” She asked jokingly.  As the two of them walked away, Jason wrapped his arm around her.  He glanced back at his tombstone, that boy had been gone for quite some time now.  Right now, he was just trying to be a better man.

[johannstutt413]

Catapult had finally finished with her work and training for the day, and it was time for her to get some time to herself. She threw off her clothes, poured herself a bath, grabbed a bottle of wine and a glass to drink while she was in there, and set herself in for a long soak.

After about two and a half glasses, however, there was a knock at her door. Sighing, she stepped out of her bath, dried herself off enough that she could wear her bathrobe and not leave water on her floor, and went to pester her visitor away. “Look, you caught in the middle of my- Doctor?”

“Hey, Cat.” He’d clearly just gotten done with a shower himself - his hair was still wet. “I can come back later, if you want to finish.”

“...No, it’s fine; come on in.” Catapult let him inside, closing the door behind him, before walking over to the bathroom and draining the tub.

When she walked out, she found him on the couch, looking at the ceiling. “Sorry to bother you, I really am.”

“I told you, Doctor, it’s alright.” Which it sort of was - if it’d been anyone else, they’d still be outside. She sat down next to him. “Something on your mind?”

“You could say that...You’re sure it’s alright?”

Catapult nudged him with an elbow. “Come on, Doctor, what’s gotten into you? I’ve never seen you so tense before.”

‘Sorry, it’s just...“ He sighed. “As much as I want to talk about this, I’m worried it’s not a good decision.”

“Why not?”

The Doctor turned to look at her, a pained expression on his face. “I um...You remember the town you blew up the vault in?”

“Yeah.” She cocked her head. “What about it?”

“It um...they sent troops in recently.”

Her face fell. “They what?”

“When the mayor didn’t step down, the citizens started clamoring for him to. There were riots, some of them got violent, eventually it turned into a full-blown rebellion.” He leaned forward, hands clasped in front of him. “The other towns nearby worried it would catch on, so they convinced the next-highest administrator to call in some Knights to deal with it. It...went as well as you’d expect.”

“How many?”

The Doctor tried to look her in the eye, but he couldn’t hold his own open for more than a second. “All of them.”

“...I need a favor.” She got up from the couch and walked to her room. “Take me somewhere outside any city jurisdiction. I need to let off some steam.”

“Alright.” He sighed, rubbing his forehead.

A few minutes later, Catapult re-emerged, decked out head-to-toe in extra grenades for the launcher in her hands. “Ready to go?”

“Let’s do this.” The Doctor walked to the door, keycard already in hand. “Already rented a vehicle, just have to grab it at the dock.”

“You knew how I’d take it, huh?”

He shrugged. “I thought we could use a drive at least.”

“Ah. Well, thanks.” She sighed. “Whatever happens while we’re out, don’t tell Dobermann about this, okay?”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Catapult smiled. “Heh...You’ve always got my back, don’t you?”

A few hours’ drive later, and they were sitting on the hood of their car in the middle of nowhere, the latter with a grenade launcher as well.  About an hour later, and she’d exhausted her supply of explosives...but it didn’t feel like enough.

“I don’t think we have enough charge for that,” the Doctor explained after she suggested they run to LGDHQ and get some from their armory. “Even if we did, do you really think it would make it better?”

“...No. Sorry for wasting your time.” She flung herself onto her back, letting out a loud bray as she did.

He patted the car near her head. “You didn’t waste anything, Cat. I wanted you to hear the news from me, and to be here for you to make sure you expressed it healthily.”

“You call that healthy?” She gestured to a series of craters in the wasteland around them. “That was a dozen Operations’ worth of ammo I used on nothing!”

“We all deal with our demons and feelings differently.”

Catapult sighed. “Well, how do you deal with yours, then?”

“I hang out with you.” The Doctor laid down next to her. “If that doesn’t work, I talk to you about it; if that’s not enough, I cry once I get back to my room, and if nothing else does the trick, that does.”

“No way.”

He smiled at her. “Really. So, whatever’s on your mind, you can tell me. Sometimes all you need is someone else to listen.”

“...How many more?” She turned her head to look at him. “How many other people are going to die because of me?”

“...”

She brayed again, albeit more quietly. “I single-handedly got a town killed, but that’s nothing on what I might do on accident one of these days. You guys send my team on missions where you aren’t afraid of a little collateral, but some of those places still have people in them. I don’t care that people think I’m a washout, or barely better than cannon fodder with a cannon, but it’d be nice if I didn’t think the same way...”

“Did someone tell you that?” He knew this line of thinking. “Did someone call you ‘cannon fodder with a cannon?’”

“Not RI, no...Some of the refugees say things like that to me, to us. They’ll mock me for being a Kuranta who looks like a Feline, they’ll proposition me, they’ll bitch at us for not being able to save one more who died three days before we got there, and that’s just the field work. Admittedly that’s the worst of it, but then I get home and it’s all critiques and reviewing combat logs for ‘self-improvement’ or some bullshit when I’m already doing the best I can, and then Dobermann or Orchid get on my ass for something, and the rest of my team causes their own trouble, and I can’t keep my mouth shut, and...and...and I know I cause a lot of trouble, I could probably do more work, I could be easier on Instructor Dobermann and Miss Orchid, but then I’d just be bottling myself up until I explode like tonight, but in front of people. Not that you’re not people, it’s just...you know. God, I’m rambling, aren’t I? Stupid wine will do that, I guess.”

The Doctor couldn’t think of anything to say beyond, “That sucks.”

“Yeah...it does...Gaaaaah!” She yelled at the sky, flying into a stream of Kazimierz expletives that would’ve made Zima blush. “All I want is some fucking peace for once...Love and peace, for just one minute. Is that so much to ask?”

“Well, I don’t know about peace...but I might be able to help with the first part.”

Her ears twitched. “Come again?”

“Part of my- no, that’s ridiculous. I...I mean...” He sighed and simply grabbed her hand. “I’m always gonna be here for you, Cat. Whatever happens.”

“What was that about love, though? Or did I just hear things?”

Every fiber of his being told him to just say it. Just. SAY IT. “...I want to, but I’m scared.”

“Scared?” She squeezed his hand. “Of me?”

“Of me. I don’t have nearly as many people telling me I’m screwing up, but they don’t need to; I count my mistakes in real time. Hell, I’m still kicking myself for interrupting your bath.”

Catapult’s brow furrowed. “But...Doctor, I only let you in because it was you.”

“I know, and I appreciate,” he replied, “but still-”

“If you can’t say it yourself, then it’s fine, just...answer me, yes or no. Do you like me-”

“Yes.”

She blushed. “That was fast.”

“You know how to make me laugh, and you know how to bully me into being better.” He sat up. “You listen to me when I feel like bitching, and you join in when I feel like joking around. I...I’ve been letting myself get hung up on the word ‘love’ too long. So yeah, I like you, Cat. I like the sound of your voice and your laugh, the way you refuse to compromise when it comes to your work but only take on what you know you can handle, the way your eyes sparkle when you catch me in the hall but don’t say anything more than ‘Hey...’ I love your sense of style, and your Kuranta ears, and...and your curves, too.”

“...I just needed a yes.” Catapult sniffled, the dry air clearly getting to her as her eyes began tearing up.

The Doctor nodded. “I know...Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She sat up, still holding his hand. “You like my curves, huh?”

“Yeah.” Why had he said it like that?

She walked her free hand along his arm. “Are you busy tonight?”

“...Not in the slightest.” Thank God he’d said it like that. “Do you have something in mind?”

“Well, I didn’t finish my bath, and I still have most of the bottle I took in there with me. How about you help me finish both of ‘em?”

He coughed over his other side to try to avoid being too enthusiastic. “Fuck yes.” Didn’t work.

“Heheh.” Catapult let go to push off the hood of the car. “Good talk, Doctor.”

“No kidding,” he mumbled, still having trouble believing things had worked out so cleanly.

As they settled back into the vehicle, a thought passed through the Kuranta’s head; before he could actually start the car, she reached over and tapped his shoulder. “Before we go, do me a favor?”

“Sure.” This was more normal. “What is it?”

“Does this thing have autopilot? I know some of them do.”

He nodded. “Yeah, it does.”

“Cool.” She looked at the backseat. “Could we turn it on and sit in the back?”

“Sure.” The Doctor pressed a couple buttons, and the car started moving as he crawled to the back.

Catapult made her way to the backseat and snuggled up to him. “Ahh...I can’t remember the last time I got to do something like this.”

“This might be my first.” He wrapped around her in return. “But I already want to make this a habit...”

[templarhalo]

Templarhalo reviews Birds of Prey. (It’s pretty fantabulous)

HERE BE SPOILERS YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

Ok without this movie, I would have not been a Cassandra Cain fan.  I would have not four, yes four ongoing fics with her as the main character.  I would not be emotionally and financially invested in the DC cinematic universe or the comics side of things. 

Which baffles me because this movie is perfect in almost every aspect,...   Except how they treated Cassandra Cain.   Which  is a fucking shame because her actress is perfect, her chemistry and relationship with Harley is perfect, and the idea of Cass growing up as this pickpocket foster kid, taken in by Harley is unconventional, but I fucking love it. 

Here’s a brief summary. After breaking up with the Joker  Harley Quinn has to make her own way as the strong, badass, indepent woman we all know she is, while dealing with the fact that without Mistah J’s  fell reputation as his significant other to shield her, a lot of people want her raped, tortured, killed and left for the crows…  Not necessarily in that order.    

To get these people off her back and save her own skin, from one of them, the infamous Black Mask. Harley agrees to recover the Bertinelli Diamond, a diamond encoded with the info for a source of 30 million dollars, Black Mask needs to fiance his take over of Gotham. Which was pickpocketed from one of his associates by our Lady and savior Cass.   

The problem is, Cass kind of ate it( (I shit you not) and Black Mask’s guys would rather cut it out of her than wait for the poor kid to take a dump   Not to mention Detective tReene Montoya (played by her Gotham Actress, which would have been a nice bit of world building if Gotham was actually in the movie continuity) building a case against Black Mask, with the aid of Black Canary   Plus Huntress is indirectly gunning for him and Harley in her own quest for revenge.   All these plot points converge into  a very satisfying climax and fight scene with a somewhat  emotionally satisfying ending. 

From  a technical standpoint this film is a spectacle.   Gotham in the day is colorful but rundown, with markets, suave evil bad guy clubs, dilapidated Chinese restaurants and abandoned amusement parks.   The fight scenes are AMAZING  with a wonderful tension and energy that makes them incredibly visualising satisfying.  Everything flows, the ladies move with an enthralling  grace that makes them breaking bones, crushing legs,and tearing through people visceral and heartstopping.  (And arousing. Like goddamn Jurnee Smollett-Bell could kill me with her legs and I’d thank her)

The problem, is none of this applies to  Cass, and this is the films major flaw besides how short it is. (One hour and forty five minutes).  If you had problems with how Harley was handled in Suicide Squad, the movie fixes it.  Black Canary gets a short but satisfying emotional arc that feels natural. She goes from a cynical, lethargic woman, content to be Black Masks “Little Bird”; A singer at his club, driver and symbol of his power/dominance over other women until her own conscience kicks in at Harley and Cass’ predicament.  Huntress also has a short but satisfying arc in which she gets her vengeance on the people who murdered her family and clearly finds a new one to fill the hole in her life, in the form of the Birds.  Reene and her portrayal is a love letter to the 80s cop/hard boiled detectives, a pure, simultaneously complicated/uncomplicated woman seeking to do good for Gotham.       

But Cass… Doesn’t feel like Cass and is criminally underutilized except as a walking mcguffin by dint of eating the Mcguffin.   She’s introduced to us a snarky tween, stuck in a cycle of shitty foster homes and a pickpocket to get by.  And that’s it.  T

here are moments where you think she'll get a cool fight scene.  Moments where you think she’ll have an emotional heart to heart with Harley,   moments where you think…she’ll do something besides run from the bad guys and get saved by the Birds of Prey/Her four moms. 

 In the end she drives into the sunset with Harley and Bruce the Hyena, but it doesn’t feel earned, satisfying as the scene is.  There is nothing implying or hinting she’s the daughter of two of the deadliest assassins in the DC universe, nothing about her running away from David Cain, nothing on her learning disabilities/selective mutism  and NOTHING, setting her up to be adopted by Batman and become Batgirl 

And this is a fucking shame, because Ella Jay Basco has a real chemistry with Margert and the rest of the cast.  She’s adorable, funny, snarky and wonderful as Cass. She brings energy and spunk and I would cut off my left hand, to see her act as Cassandra Cain, not this  generic punk kid with the name.

And I feel like this is  a HUGE problem because the movie sets up this Mother/daughter relationship, with Cass being Harley’s motivation to be a better person.  She goes from willing to hand her over to Black Mask to taking the kid under her wing.   Cass is the glue that bands the Birds of Prey together.   These lovely, dangerous, women coming together to keep a little girl safe,  doesn’t feel as emotionally satisfying as it should because Cass isn’t Cass.

While I will praise the movie for Harley’s arc of seeking her own emancipation and agency outside her abusive relationships and life of crime,  I feel like Harley’s arc should have been a question of redemption.    Cassandra’s motivation to become Batgirl was her refusal to kill again.  (Hey WB remember how in Batman Begins Bruce refused to kill a man because “I will not be an executioner.”)  

Here Cass is fine with killing. She chucks a bomb at some goons chasing her and  she kills Black Mask with a grenade in the end.

Yeah… Cass “I refuse to kill because my dad made me kill an innocent man at eight years old and killing is wrong” kills people.  

*head meet desk*

Sucide Squad, set up Harley and the squad, for an unconventional redemption arc, spite motivated it may be, yet Harley despite her line to Cass “You make me want to  be a less terrible person”  isn’t seeking to make amends for what she did as the Joker’s henchman.  (Like being an accomplice to Jason Todd’s murder).   

.Cass pickpots and steals to survive, because she’s a kid with no family passed from foster home to foster home, Harley steals because she can, steal a truck to blow up a chemical plant because she can.  Kills because she can.   (granted she does use an M79 grenade launcher with bean bag shells for one scene but besides that.) 

I like the idea of Harley taking Cass under her wing, its an unconventional but fresh idea, but it doesn’t feel entirely satisfying, and Cass not being Cass, not having an arc beyond “Go along with Harley as her apprentice” really undermines the excellent themes and message the movie is trying to convey.

Now maybe in the Suicide Squad reboot with James Gunn or a future DC film , Cass is going to leave Harley because that life of crime and killing doesn’t suit her and she realizes she’s trying to be something she’s not and I’m just being overly critical, but I still feel like “Harley and Cass seeking redemption and moving past their abusers together”  should have been where this movie left off, and it baffles me that it doesn’t from a narrative perspective.

Anway the overall themes and message of Birds of Prey are represented in Evan Mcregor’s Black Mask, a walking talking example of repressive toxic masculinity and misogyny.   A flamboyant, all but stated to  be a repressed Bi, crime lord seeking to take control of Gotham, Black Mask moves with confidence in his loud suits, and charming quirkiness,   He’s cruel, sadistic and repulsive  His mannerisms ooz terror,and insanity. He moves like a love child between Heath Ledger and Joaquin Phoenix’s take on the Joker, Gaston from Beauty and the Beast and Joffery Baratheon from Game of Thrones.   He’s a control freak, trying to  be a badass. 

 One minute he’s the Godfather, the next he’s a brat.  He views Harley as nothing without the Joker, telling her that she needs him to protect her.   He enjoys asserting his dominance over Harley during her brief capture by having his men beat her while he eats popcorn.  He objectifies Black Canary for her singing voice and beauty..   

Black Mask asserts his power and authority over the underworld by  his control over women.  In one  frightening scene, he believes one of the women at his club is laughing at him for his failure to capture Cass, so he orders her  to stand on a table, then for her boyfriend to rip open her dress with a knife because he finds it ugly.

In summary he represents the patriarchy.  He represents sexist, abusive men.   He’s a representation of social norms and ideals that are repressive and disgusting, and rob women of their agency, and self-worth. He represents the use of violence, not for noble reasons, but as a means to control women and lash out at those that defy him and supposedly wronged him .

Furthering this line of thought are  the costumes. Black Canary’s costumes represent the amount of control, Black Mask has in her life.  When we first see her, Dinah is wearing a long black netted evening gown that accents her legs as she sings “It’s a Man’s Man’s World”. Later she wears  a blue tank top and gold, tightfitting pants clearly meant to draw our gaze to her ass and thighs. When she’s Black Mask’s driver, she’s wearing a Bra/crop top that bares her midriff under a short blue blaze, but when she decides she’s going to defy him, she wears a yellow tank top and jeans with  a gold belt.

Harley’s costumes are as eclectic as she is, with her DIY caution tape shawl, stamped tops and cut up shorts.  Huntress’s outfits are all black leather and punkish athletic wear, utilitarian and elegant in their simplicity while Reene wears  a  “I shave my balls for this” t-shirt reflecting her uncouth, blunt demeanor, as well as button down  dress shirts and slacks for the climactic asskicking montage .  

Cass is a kid,who clearly doesn’t have the funds for super nice clothes. She;s running around in ratty shorts and a worn out hoody with  a red windbreaker, with an orange bandanna askew on her head.  At the end, when she rides off with Harley, she copying Harley’s style.

Speaking of costumes, one thing I appreciate is that instead of the male gaze and sexualisation, we get what I like to call “passive fan service”  What I mean is that instead of tracking shots on Harley’s ass or boob shoots, like in Suicide Squad  the camera just lets these women’s beauty do the talking. 

 Huntress is wearing a sports bra and tactical pants for the climax, but the camera doesn’t linger on her boobs.  A primary example of this is a lot of Padme’s scenes in Episodes II and III of Star Wars.  Lucas knows Natalie Portman is a gorgeous woman and he doesn’t need to remind us by deliberate camera shots.  He lets Natalie herself and Trisha Biggar’s excellent costumes do it for us. 

Also one thing I really… really liked was how in the big penultimate fight, Harley actually passes Dinah a hair tie so she can get her hair out of the way. So for like a minute, she’s beating the ever loving fuck out of goons with her legs as she ties up her hair.  A very nice case of reality ensures.

In conclusion Birds of Prey is another notch in the belt for the DC cinematic universe, a solid, fun film with  an excellent cast with clear chemistry, hampered by character derailment that undermines its sorely needed themes and message it's trying to convey.   The plot is  fast paced, but doesn't feel rushed even though it’s only a little over an hour long.  It’s uncompromisingly  bold, bloody and hilarious. The lack of a proper post credits scene is somewhat annoying and I'm very disappointed how Cass was handled , but this is by no means a terrible film. 

Overall I give it a 8.9 out of 10.  Highly recommend you go see it. Drag your friends, smuggle in as much candy and drinks as you can.  Buy it when it comes out on DVD.   If you’re a Cass fan, reread the Puckett run or pick up her new graphic novel Shadow of the Batgirl to wash out the bittersweet taste this will give you.  Speaking of Kelley Puckett, he was actually listed in the “Special thanks to…”  in the credits, which i’m sure many will appreciate.

These following posts and thoughts on the film I recommend.

https://dcwomenofcolor.tumblr.com/post/190693985900/how-would-you-fix-bop-cass

https://wits-writing.tumblr.com/post/190718974642/birds-of-prey-movie-review

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YeFJjoQoec

[yoshimickster]

RWBY Volume 6 Episodes 12/13 “Seeing Red” and “Our Way” Micksterecaps: TWO RECAPS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO doggie, youse KNOW I can’t wait to talk about the finale, so you get not one but TWO recaps! Also doing the same thing with Gen:Lock as they released the first two eps of that on the same day-EITHER WAY LET’S GET TO DANCIN’!

THE EP STARTS OFF WITH-

-the ARGUS MILITARY-watching their boss waste military hardware, while being away from their FREAKING STATIONS-where a threat the Colossus was MADE to fight is coming close to the city. ALL WHILE RUBY-

-HANGS-in there? EH?! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEH?!

After a nice little cliff climb, Oscar informs the team that the shields go down EVERY time Cordo fires missiles, which is the time to STRIKE! Ruby while on board-DOES-point out the difficulty of it though.

Ruby:-I’d have to be practically staring down the barrel of her canon.

FORESHADOWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!

Ruby than jumps onto their legitimately stolen airship, while Maria does what she does best-

Maria: HEY CORDO-your mother wears NON-combat boots!

Cordo: SHUT UP I HAVE ALL THE MISSILES!

SADLY-though-

-sheeeeeeeeeeee catches on.

*BANG*

*TING*

*CLOSE*

Cordo: SURELY you know Atlas perfected missile launcher door quick-closing technology!

Ruby: BITCH YOU GOT LUCKY AND YOU KNOW IT!

Cordo: FUCK YOU I HAVE A LIGHTNING CANON!

OOH-and she WINGS them even, DAMN that’s gotta smart!

OOH-spoke too soon, Maria got the worst of it! MAN-that’s gotta sting.

Looks like its up to farmboy to SAVE THE DA-

*CRASH*

...EH-he’s a 14 year old farmboy, did the best he could with no fly knowledge or help (WINK).

See that? A NICE clean crash, Launchpad McQuack would be proud!

Ruby realizing how fucked things are, decides to pull a make or break move-RIGHT BEFORE-this scene-

Qrow: Ruby, stop!

Ruby: I need you, to trust me.

And he then lets go of her hand. Its a small yet powerful scene, and I really loved it, just wanted to point that out.

Ruby then makes a passionate speech to Cordo about how they only stole from her because she gave them no choice, especially since their supposed to be on the same side, and hopes she listens to reason.

Cordo: Hm....

Cordo:...NAH-I’ll just kill you.

CAROLINE CORDOVIN FOLKS-the defi-NITION of excessive force!

But does THAT scare Rubelubes?!

FUCK NO-she dashes herself RIGHT in there! SEE-foreshadowing!

She sees the target-

-LINES up the shot-

-while Cordo reevaluates recent life choices-

-gives herself a nice SNIPER breath-

-SHOOTS THAT FUCKER-and with-in a SECOND-

-PETALS HERSELF AWAY! Ace huntress right here! ALL right before-

-THAT FUCKER GETS CRYSTALIZED-good on you Ruby!

OOH-still got that aftershock crackle though! Thankfully Weiss uses her reverse gravity glyphs to slow her down ‘cause she’s a GOOD girlfriend, either figuratively OR literally(Bumblebee is canon fo sho, but STILL not sure on Iceflower, BUT still hopeful).

Qrow then catches her, and Ruby smugly replies with-

Ruby: ...toldja.

Oh Ruby, you SASS!

End the scene with a bit of Maria sass-

Maria: OH-don’t tell me I MISSED it!

AND CUT TO OUR FAVORITE NEW POWER COUPLE!

7:25

BEHOLD the holding of the hands, FEEL the gay energy it creates, while pissing off Blake’s creepy predatory ex, who was probably a creepy senior like Daniel Tosh when they started dating and needs to die(WINK).

Blake then says she and Yang are gonna KICK HIS ASS, because she made a promise to stick with the people she cares about-PROMPTING ADAM-to say this-

Adam: Y’know, she made a promise to me once, that she’d always be at MY side. HA-and look how well she’s kept it.

Your ex likes girls dude, GET OVER IT!

Either way it prompts Yang to say THIS badassery:

Yang: Did she make that promise to you? Or to the person you were PRETENDING to be?

Fuck yes. Either way, time for talk is over-ITS ACTION SCENE TIME-

-OOH-start out with a splitscreen, NICE!

Blake and Yang keep hitting him from both sides-

-and uses her shot-gauntlets to get distance, as a STRATEGIST does!

Blake goes in on the offensive, but ADAM ATTACKS-

-HER SHADOW-because he keeps forgetting how her semblance works like the dirty bitch he is!

Blake somersaults over him-

-KICKS-him back in the best pic I could get, because it happens in like a MICROSECOND-

-to a Yang Xiao Long that’s RARING to go with her shaunt-gauntlets-

-AND YANG KNOCKS HIM BACK...trust me, she did, this fight has a LOT of quick action and getting the pics I want is a nightmare.

The battle is INTENSE y’all, either way Blake gets ENOUGH distance-

-to get her partially broken gunsword back-

-tttttttttttthrows it over to fuckface magee-

-OOH-but he blocks it, no goal for you Blake-BUT-

-YANG GETS CONTROL OF THE BLADE-they may just make this count-

-she flings her over withe classic “infinitely stretchy band of stretchiness” to INITIATE-

-BATTLE CLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASH-but WAIT-

-OOH-knock back on both sides-

-Adam lands on his feet while Blake-

-OOH-she got crackle folks, we’re nearing the endgame (copyright Marvel studios...nah just kidding, RWBY’s a DC property). It ALSO almost knocks her off the cliff-

...I feel there’s a joke about a cat poster I can make here, but I’m not sure if right now is the right time to say it.

Yang is of course READY to save her-

-WHILE giving Adam an obvious deathglare for obvious reasons(MURDER HIM).

SADLY though Adam uses his greatest power of all-

Adam: MOMENT of truth Yang, do you think your faster than you were at Beacon?

*GASP*

EMOTIONAL manipulation( MURDER HIM, MURDER HIM). ALSO-sorry for the arrows, they wouldn’t go away and I couldn’t edit them out without ruining the gravitas of the shot.

Then a punch, A KICK, Yang’s on the ropes, will her aura hold out? CAN BLAKE HANG ON?!

OOH-apparently she can! MAN-the endurance these young women had, she lost a forcefield and now she’s climbing a MOUNTAIN, made of STEEL that one!

Adam than acts like the most OBVIOUS psycho-ex ever-

Adam: What does she even SEE in you?!

Yang: A person who doesn’t let their psychological baggage be an excuse to be an abuser!

Blake: Someone in my own age group who isn’t a creep who peaked his senior year of High school!

Adam: YOU SHUT UP I’M A PERFECT SUNFLOWER!

Adam then uses MOONSLASH on Yang but if you don’t know our girl-

Yang: Gotcha.

-you’d know it’d be NOT very effective y’all-SUPER SAYAIN YANG ACTIVATE!

FUCK YEAH-punch him OUT!

-AND HE GOT THE CRCKLE Y’ALL-its aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallmost over!

OOH-but so does Yang, BUT she’s got his sword so ADVANTAGE Bumbleby!

EITHER WAY-everyone’s running on fumes, its SUDDEN DEATH SMASH TIME Y’ALL!

And dear lord...its amazing-

-Yang THROWS that shit off a cliff-

-Adam goes after it-

Blake: SHURIYUKEN!

Yang: Wait I saw you climb UP the mountain, how’d you get back there-

Blake: WHATEVER-let’s kill this guy!

She sees the broken sword at her feet-

-she grabs ONE half-

-Yang graaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabs the other-

Yang: RAH!

Blake: EYAH!

YANG/BLAKE USED DOUBLE STRIKE-

Adam:...oh-

*SPLASH*

-and its SUPER effective-CRITICAL HIT! RPG BUZZWORDS! AND THEN BUMBLEBY-

-gives themselves a tender cry scene while both promise to be there for each other. DAMN that was a fight scene, emotion, action, DEATH, I love this show!

Blake: *SNIFF* I just really really-REALLY-hope he stays dead!

Yang: Don’t worry, he can’t get maiden powers so he’s gone for good.

Blake: I love you babe.

Yang: I love you to.

A THEN CUT TO-

-CORDO-dealing with the consequences of her actions in MORE ways than one!

Nubuck: HEY UH M’AM-

-Godzillallegory is on the horizon- 

- and it brought a BUNCH of friends, we could REALLY use the giant Collossus mech made SPECIFICALLY for fighting giant Grimm!

Cordo:...I am SO fired.

AND THAT’S ep 12, SEE YOU...in 2 SECONDS for the next Micksterecap as this is a DOUBLE feature!

The FINALE starts off WITH-

-with a VERY nice airship! Look at that woodwork, now THAT is craftsmanship! The ship opens TO REVEAL-

-NEO-and her SNAZZY new look! Look at that jacket, just FULL of snazz! SPEAKING OF SNAZZYNESS-

-HOT DAMN-I never thought wearing a cape the wrong way could look GOOD but Cinder proved me wrong! After the minor fashion show-ITS SHIP SHIFTING TIME!

Cinder:(DAMN I am im-PRESSED by this, SO glad we’re friends now!)

We get it Neo, your semblance is OP, QUIT SHOWIN’ OFF!

Either way, our girls are looking fly as hell and are READY to fight Team FWBYQOMJNR....NEXT volume. Yeah, turns out it was one of THOSE build-ups where its for next season. I know, I’m pissed of too.

But enough about that-A CUT TO-

GOJIRA-slowly making his way to Tokyo bay to REEK ATOMIC TERROR!

This is the time when one could REALLY use a giant robot with a laser canon-

-if not for the fact that a senile old racist wasted it on minor offenders like a crazy person.

After the team realizes that they had a SLIGHT hand in ruining Argus’ defenses against a kaiju level threat, they decide to FLY OFF! Right before CORDOVIN-

“This is YOUR fault, your fault....

....your...fault”.

-ADMITS her own guilt in this to herself! Didn’t expect character development from her, NOW all she has to do is apologize to Blake for casual racism and it’ll be AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL good!

MEANWHILE-on the ship-

-Blake apologizes for her psycho Ex stalking them, ALL while only her, Yang, Nora and Maria(off panel) are sitting down. YOU ARE IN A PLANE-I do not believe that they are hogging all the seats!

Despite the obvious chaos, Maria basically suggests this-

Maria: Okay...what if we just BAIL?!

Everyone:...

Maria:...YEAH I know, gotta be superheroes and what-not, I just REALLY want Cordo to die.

They then all decide to get up close and personal with the thing, Ren and Jaune plan to do their combo move a.k.a. the ONLY semblance Jaune will boost this season-BUT THEN-the monster resurfaces!

*RESIN COATED GLOVE AGAINST A BASS GUITAR!*

Look it up bitches. Its ALSO at this point that Mrs.Terra Cotta-Arc-

-regrets recent life choices that inadvertently lead to her brother in-law and his entourage to destroying Argus’s last defense...also what’s up with that girl in the background? The one with the diamond logo and the bare mid-riff? She a superhero or something? If so...GET TO WORK-there’s a monster to fight!

AW-she’s there for her family and...I’m sorry I just can’t get over that background character’s design, I mean LOOK AT HER-does she have ANY hips to speak of?! I know its just a background character, but STILL bad design.

BUT LUCKILY FOR ARGUS-

-THE SHIELDS GO UP-which I’m sure won’t be damaged at all!

SEE-look at that, COMPLETELY impenetrable!

BAM-even blocks the beast’s elemental attack, NOTHING can break this shie-

*BOOM*

...w...WAIT A MINUTE-the SHIELDS are impenetrable but the pylons MANAGING the shields AREN’T?! That is...a HUGE design flaw, DAMMIT CORDOVIN, this is what you get for spending your defense budget on your Gundam hobby!

This is when everybody just wants to get the HELL out of there but Ruby calls it in-

Ruby: EVERYBODY-me and my scrappy team of rogues is gonna take on that beast, we JUST need you to back us up!

Nubuck: UH-no thank you, we’re nameless soldiers in a fantasy story, WE KNOW what happens to us in this situation!

Either way Ruby is ready to use her magical laser eyes to slow down the beast, by her OWN dang self!

Ruby: Fine, we’ll do it alone if we have to.

Ruby: Let me repeat, I-A SIXTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL-am going to fight a monster ALL by myself...with NO military support...alone.

Look at Cordo, see the GUILT emanating from her!

Either way the plan is set-SUPER TEAMWORK COMBO-

-EMOTION MASK TIMES TWO! Seriously, the ONLY semblance he enhances this season.

They then fly undetected through the chaos while ONE plane gets hit! Exactly ONE...no lie, maybe this army isn’t as bad as I thought if only one plane got knocked down so far.

After just NARROWLY avoiding the blast-

-the beast takes out the SECOND barrier due to the worst design flaw in the world-

-DESTROYING THE TOP TO EXACTLY ONE BUILDING! DAMN-lucky Argus, this is a generally destruction free monster attack!

OOOH-but also RIGHT at the moment Ren and Jaune get crackle, CLOAKS DOWN PEOPLE-cloak is DOWN!

But have no fear-OUR LEADER HAS A PLAN!

Weiss:...giant bee?

Ruby: GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIANT BEE!

Yang: You rang?

Blake: Oh YOU!

Nora and Yang give cover fire while Blake just...stands there, because her weapon broke. Hey, sometimes your ex smashes your gun-sword in half, it happens.

SEE BLAKE-you just upgraded yourself to Weiss...holder, way to seize the initiative and HOLD THAT WEISS!

Ruby: I know this is stressful but riding a giant bee is still FREAKING AWESOME!

Nora: I CALL NEXT!

Yang: Aw man, I wanted to fly next.

Qrow: QUIT YAMMERING AND KEEP SHOOTING!

Rubalubes than squares up with the great beast and then-

-STARTS A CLIP SHOW TO PSYCHE HER POWERS UP! She ALSO-

-throws that PESKY earpiece RIGHT into the ocean...because turning it OFF is impossible apparently(freakin’ Atlas tech, TOO many design flaws). Either way-CLIP SHOW TIME!

What NICE memories, nothing that would trigger feelings of doubt which would mess with her hea-

SHIT-memories of the dead almost girlfriend-SHIFT FOCUS!

YES-memories of the vomit boy-FOCUS ON THAT!

Nooooooooooooooooooo-

-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

Focus focus focus FOCUS!

NOT ON THAT!

NOR THAT!

Stay calm, STAY calm-

-AND she’s boned.

Ruby: DAMMIT silver eyes, WORK WHEN I WANT YOU TO WORK!

The beast is in her sights, her powers aren’t working, only ONE thing that can save her now!

Ruby: JINN!

*SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW*

Yang: Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuubyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

DEUS EX MACHINA-because TELEVISION! Also really wish I could show the illusion of time slowing down better in simple pictures

Pouty Jinn is pouty. Either way she tells her that she’ll only allow her to summon her this this ONE time without asking a question.

Jinn: I must admit, this WAS clever.

Ruby: Heh, yeah, to be FAIR I wasn’t sure if you ACTUALLY slowed down time, or if that was like a “Bill Cipher” style illusion, but yeah I’ll have a real question next time.

Either way-CLIP SHOW RESTART!

Time re-starting is ALSO hard to show with still pictures.

*WAVES MOVE SLIGHTLY FASTER*

You enjoying this so far? You COULD be re-watching the show instead of a slow clip-show of it but O-kay!

Yes, GOOD memories of Pyrrha, GOOD ones!

*MORE SUBTLE TIME RESTARTING*

OH YEAH-she’s still in front of a monster! DAMN-that’s a good timestop, full on ZA WARUDO!

That’s right, good memory of Penny, DON’T PSYCHE OUT!

And just when you thought they weren’t gonna hit us with a feelsbomb-

SUMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER! ALSO-confirmation that Ruby knew what her mom looked like, I wasn’t sure as she died when Rubes was REALLY yong, either way HUZZAH! ALSO-this shot-

Summer’s eyes-

RUBY’S EEYS!

“THERE’S A LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT THERE TO SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE-

- “ AND ITS POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWER IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!”

Bless you Casey Williams, BLESS you!

Look at the well designed background characters being showed off by Rooster Teeth, THEY ARE PLEASED! Also, look at that glasses wearing mother fucker in the purple jacket, he a WIZARD or something? We coulda used a WIZARD y’know, just saying.

Nubuck1: YEAH-that girl we refused to help stopped the beast!

Nubuck2:...are we terrible at our jobs?

Nubuck3: Just shut up and keep cheering!

Ruby then marvels at the site of a major city that SURVIVED a kaiju-class Grimm attack for once-BUT ALL IS NOT WELL-

*CRACKLE CRACKLE*

*ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAR!*

Ruby: DAMMIT-I meant to fire DISINTEGRATING beams, not FREEZING!

Maria: I now, its LITERALLY the most fickle super power.

But worry not-FOR ALL IS NOT LOST!

Cordo: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE I COME, TO SAVE THE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Ruby:...okay, thanks for the help, but HOW did you rip your mech’s arm off?

Cordo: HM?! Oh nothing fancy-

Cordo: JUST A BAD ASS DRILL THAT I WILL USE TO PIERCE HEAVEN!

Ruby:...why the HELL didn’t you use that on us before?

Cordo: Honestly I forgot it was there...as well as SEVERAL functions on this mech. Really I shouldn’t be in charge of anything.

Either way-

-she drills the FUCK out of that thing! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH SPINNING!

Man, that’s some NICE dusting! 

Once again, the background characters are pleased, including lady hipless over there! Oh lady hipless, I will NEVER understand you.

And even 2/3rds of the Cotta-Arc household are completely enjoying it, while Terra is REALLY hoping this mess won’t come back to her.

Ruby then thanks AND apologizes to Cordo because she’s a NICE young lady, while Cordo gives her team the go ahead to fly out tho Atlas. DOESN’T make up for her mean comment to Blake, BUT progress is progress.

A THEN CUT TO-

-BEAUTIFULLY PAINTED CLOUDS! MAN this show loves to show off and I LOVE IT!

INSIDE the ship-

Ruby’s mentors give her WELL deserved props and Qrow celebrates BY-

-NOT drinking! GOOD ON YOU Qrow, PROGRESS!

D’aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw.

The mentors than have a NICE quick moment.

Maria: For a depressed drunk, you make a great uncle and huntsman.

Qrow: That is...LITERALLY the best compliment you can give me.

Speaking of sweet moments-

FUCK YEAH-hand holding! Now let them KISS dammit!

ALL WHILE-

-RUBY deflects praise like a body does, EVEN points out how Oscar landed a clean crash...OR DID HE?!

Oscar: I...DIDN’T land the plane on my own.

YUP-Ozpin helped him, in a scene that’s BASICALLY this-

Oz: The force Oscar, USE the force!

The team briefly discuss the fact that their creepy wizard principal is most DEFINITELY spying on them before Qrow points out-

THE UNIVERSITY OF CAROLINA IN THE SK-I mean-THE CITY OF ATLAS! Anyone...old enough to get that reference? Scott Pilgrim? Its a story about a guy who dates a 17 year old, dumps her for someone cooler, and we’re supposed to see him as the hero? WEIRDLY good read despite the what the synopsis will make you believe.

We also briefly see-

-THE UNDERCITY OF MANTLE...which...looks like its near an active volcano I think! NO WAIT I see, that��s where the floating city came from...still feel BAD for the poor people of Mantle though.

Either way, they get up there and EVERYTHING is fi-

-ZOOP military blockade, never mind. And we end the adventure of Team RWBYQOMJNR with a MYSTERIOUS line-

Voice: Manta 5-1, welcome home.

Oooooooh, Weiss is in TROUBLLLLLLLE!

And that’s it for them, credits start rolling-NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVERMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE- and then a we get a TEASER because Joss Whedon!

Mercury: I like being depressed in here, it makes me look DEEP!

Emerald also walks in to slightly foreshadow her defection from the Legion of Doom but notices how FREAKED he is...why?

Cause Salem’s making flying MONKEYS that’s why! We ALSO-get a Hazel cameo!

Hazel: There’s an old saying, if you want something done right-

-do it yourself.

WELL-team RWBY’s boned. EITHER WAY, a fantastic season, personally I feel episode 12 had better finale energy than episode 13, BUT outside of a malfunctioning force field still good. I’m also KINDA mad that Neo and Cinder, and pretty much EVERY member of Salem’s faction didn’t get many times to really shine, BUT there’s always next season! 

AND WITH THAT-I’l see you either next season of RWBY, or on my Gen:Lock recaps on MICKSTERECAP! Peace out folks.

[klcthebookworm]

Mission on Mimban: My Outline Process

Previous Installments

Introduction, One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve

What Changes in My Fic

Here's the place where I put all my ideas in one place and see what scenes need to happen when to make a story. Normally, I would do this in private but since you have seen all my notes in reviewing Splinter of the Mind's Eye, I figured you guys deserved to see the next step. So first, I'm grabbing my notes from the previous twelve posts.

Cast change: Luke, Mara, and Artoo. Threepio is with Leia who doesn't get stranded on this swamp planet. Mara does need an astromech for her X-Wing so I have to commit to a new character or commit to killing off a droid. Regardless, this adventure will give Mara all kinds of snark when she and Luke end up on Dagobah.

The timeline: I need to move this adventure much closer to the Battle of Yavin to preserve the padawans' inexperience with the Force. Plus the Rebel Alliance suspicions on if Mara has fully defected.

The reason for being there: One of Obi-Wan's complaints in Extrication will be Alliance duties yanking his padawans out of their Jedi training. This could be one of those duties, surveying unexplored and non-colonized worlds for Alliance purposes, and it's Luke and Mara's turn. The beacon is unexpected given their information on Mimban so they approach to investigate, strange energy in the atmosphere fried their ships, and they crash on planet.

I also suspect everything in this chapter can be condensed.

Remember to come back to this book to steal Threepio and Artoo insults. I had a time creating them for Star Wars: My Home Is You, so I need more examples.

In an effort to get on with this project, I'm going with they crashed a roughly two-day hike away to the mining outpost and that was far enough away for the Imperials to not notice crashing ships.

Mimbanites' abuse mini-scene is an opportunity to display some growth from Mara. Since she was raised on Coruscant in the Imperial Palace, the only contact she has had with aliens are the ones who have been subjugated as slaves or the ones trying to survive in the ghettoes created on Coruscant. Humans abuse aliens when they can is all she has seen. The equality in the Rebel Alliance ranks is a cultural shock she is soldiering through in her endearing Mara way (which probably isn't helping her reputation any), but Luke's reaction to the abuse puts her perspective in a different light. Actually that may be the best way to sum up their relationship. It gives Luke's empathy something to play off without making Mara callous, like the scene currently does with Leia.

Luke and Mara's cover story won't involve slavery.

Threatening miners will be threatening without being titillated by a mud-covered Mara.

The miner who loses an eye is unidentified, but I'm willing to say it was the double-bladed stilettos everywhere miner.

Grammel's interrogation technique is to beat up the weaker of the pair. Just how well would this work against Mara Jade? I mean, she'll take a beating to sell her cover story or get her where she needs to go, but really does she have to take it from Grammel? Or can she lash back?

Luke's lightsaber does draw Grammel's notice, which gives Mara the observation that he needs to find a better hiding place for it, and leads to Artoo's flare launcher getting modified.

Luke's lightsaber is what gets them booted up the chain of command here. I don't know if it needs to be in what I write. It depends on whether I write from Grammel's POV or not and I haven't decided.

Star Wars: The Essential Guide to Alien Species by Ann Margaret Lewis had a better reason for Luke knowing Yuzz: a Yuzzem lived in Anchorhead and Luke made friends with him. This is the backstory reason I'm going with rather than "I studied a lot of worlds back on Tatooine" reason Foster came up with.

Hin and Kee's backstory won't change much except I'm going with option three: alien trafficking. These two Yuzzem kids were approached and promised a well paying job, a chance to send credits back home which probably isn't doing so great under Imperial rule. Then they get to Mimban and they are paid, but everything is being docked from their paychecks. The flight to Mimban, their return flight home whenever they fulfill their contract, food, lodging, any equipment they break because it's designed for humans not Yuzzem until there is nothing left to save. They are free to leave once their contract is fulfilled or they pay to get out of it. Hah, hah, you can't pay. There you go, exploitation without slavery.

I have to decide on Puddra's rank, but I'm making him the ranking officer over the prisoners like a warden.

Overall, the prison break is decent, if a bit talky in spots. My problem is there would be less for Halla to do because Luke and Mara both are in training and levitating the tray should occur to them without outside prompting. Also, I'm not sure this qualifies as the midpoint but I'm putting it there unless a later scene makes a more compelling case.

This chapter is continuation of the escape and a reaction to it, so I don't see much of it changing. I'm a fan of Hin and Kee dismembering stormtroopers and Halla being a bad-ass.

But we know lightsabers don't need recharging, so I don't have to bother with that.

Frangi (@teagrl) introduced me to a new term last night: Grudgewriting. The way I understand it is you at least found the premise of the story to have some worth but the execution of that premise pissed you off enough to respond via fic. I was categorizing this under the Fix Fic trope but recognize that doesn't cover the sheer anger the canon work caused by its existence.

I don't know if I need hard numbers on the Imperial forces. I do have the feeling that this is information Mara would seek to gather for Rebellion Intelligence, but I have no idea what to put in Google to start the search for realistic numbers. "How many soldiers do you need to occupy a civilian population?"

I'll probably keep in the wandrella chase, it's not too bad for a complication. But Hin or Kee is picking up Threepio as they flee the thing. Do I want to keep its pathetic death? It's kind of sad that our protagonists don't do anything to defeat it. But it does set them onto a new path.

Showing better trauma victim support: Mara's trauma is so different from Leia and with the bond between her and Luke, I don't see this conversation even having the massive misstep of Luke making it all about him. What will they talk about during this hike?

Lumas will be changed to glow rods. And do a better job with explaining where the equipment comes from.

I want a line from Mara about how bad they are at keeping watch when they wake up.

The underground lake is a good opportunity to touch on what swimming lessons the Alliance has given Luke.

The lightsaber effects the lake monster. Unless it doesn't for the same reason lightsabers don't seem to boil water. Research this.

My revision of the after lake monster fight: Luke's clingy because oh-crap-I-could've-drowned! reaction has kicked in and Mara has pulled him back onboard. Mara discovers she's not opposed to clingy or more accurately hugging with Luke.

Mara's getting the Canu's judgment fight. She's better at hand-to-hand combat and didn't almost drown fighting a lake monster several hours ago. Let's add in that she's having trouble with levitation. She tried it with her droid that sank into the quickclay and couldn't, so grappling with the rock unlocks it for her.

Concentrates versus ration bars: I think I'm bringing back ration bars. There's just something too Jetsons Space Age about one pill keeping you fed for several hours, even though I appreciate the work Foster put into creating them.

The art comparison is a perfect one for Mara to make. Raised in the Imperial Court in the heart of Coruscant, trained in dance as her cover but it and music for dancing were probably the one fun thing she was allowed once her training began in earnest, she has the technical expertise and the Force Sensitivity to figure out what is different between the Coways' dance and the Imperial ballet corps. She wants to dance with the Coway to combine their moves with the ones she was taught. Will she get the chance? Will she take the chance?

Vader or not to Vader: To be honest, I had thought about leaving Vader out of my version of this story despite his pose on the cover art. [IMAGE HERE] Grammel is the big bad at the beginning, so I was considering ways he could continue being the big bad all the way through. Or if he absolutely couldn't, make concrete the more Emperor's Hands with a new character taking Vader's spot to get rid of Luke Skywalker once and for all. But since Foster neglected to give Vader his proper due, I'm back to wanting him. And it will do Anakin some good to be rejected by Luke three times in the series. Trust me.

If anybody knows how to build a booby trap with Imperial weapons, it's Mara. Luke wanders off to be dejected he can't stop the massacre and she does something useful like get them fully charged weapons and tell the Coway what to do with the rest.

Halla muscles her way into the driver seat since she's the one who knows Mimban the best, with the same driving results.

Needless to say, Vader's conversational gambits are changing. He's not ready to reveal who he is to Luke yet (I'm saving that fun for Bespin of course) and Mara's there and of course, she's there to kill Luke again.

The Kaiburr crystal gives Padmé's ghost enough energy to show up to Luke, Mara, and Vader. Luke pulls down part of the temple to keep Vader from killing Mara and has a talk with Padmé, asking if she's an angel. Hin and Kee are not both going to die. But Vader's shuttle will end up at the temple, piloted by one of his Noghri honor guards, and our good guys are going to steal it to get off Mimban. So there will be a new conclusion scene when Leia and Obi-Wan come to pick them up.

My second step is to fill out the expected scenes in bold. This outline started with a worksheet from Larry Brooks (storyfix.com) and I have been adding details from K.M. Weiland's techniques (Helping Writers Become Authors). These are the scenes that must be there for the plot to make sense. I don't worry about the blank numbers in between. As I work on the third step, I will fill in the scenes between the expected scenes evenly so the math works out (at least closer than Foster's finished product did).

The third step is to answer the Questions to Ask to Figure Out the Beats that is under the blank outline. Usually, I don't fill this out while I'm outlining but the way the published novel has beaten me up, I'd rather take the time now to make sure what I picked works before I write the narrative. Also since I want to shorten my version, my plan is to drop some scenes.

My fourth step is to even out the sections and delete all the blank numbers in my outline. Now I'm checking how many scenes are between my plot points. Five scenes before 1st Plot Point, four scenes between 1st Plot Point and the Midpoint, six scenes between the Midpoint and the 3rd Plot Point, and eight scenes after the 3rd Plot Point. OOPS! I left out a scene between the 1st Plot Point and the Midpoint: Grammel and the prisoners conversation through the cell bars. So now I have Five scenes before 1st Plot Point, five scenes between 1st Plot Point and the Midpoint, six scenes between the Midpoint and the 3rd Plot Point, and eight scenes after the 3rd Plot Point. And it's only five scenes between the 3rd Plot Point and the Climactic Moment, so I don't feel the second half is uneven.

So now if you want here's the Mission on Mimban Beat Sheet:

Part 1 – Set up:

Hook = Discovering the broadcasting beacon and an energy discharge in the atmosphere causes both Luke and Mara’s X-Wings to crash.

Luke and Artoo find Mara. Her astromech sunk in the quickclay and she couldn’t save it by levitating it with the Force since her levitation isn’t working. She treats the cut on Luke’s head.

Hiking and then camping. Mara has snark about easy assignment and fun exploring more planets Luke promised her. Luke insists that’s what Wedge told him. Talk around the campfire leads to romantic interest (Mara’s in Luke’s head she knows how much he loved Biggs.) Luke is bisexual, Wedge is heterosexual, Mara is scary. Luke: “You give off a vibe that you’ll tear out anyone’s throat for saying hello.” Mara: “I would not. You and Master Obi-Wan would not approve.” Mara is uncomfortable with sharing snuggles, thinking it is more intimate than they are. Luke explains he and Biggs did the same to stay warm on Tatooine.

Inciting Event at 1/8 or 12% of word count = Luke and Mara discover the Imperial mining town and that the Empire is secretly and illegally mining on Mimban.

They infiltrate the tavern for some real food, see how the Mimbanites are treated, and draw Imperial curiosity. Luke’s cover story: Mara is his Holo Domestic Partner and Mara adds a personal sob story. The Imperial leaves them alone.

1st Plot Point at 2/8 or 25% of word count = Luke and Mara make a deal with Halla to help her find the Kaiburr crystal in exchange for Halla’s help in getting them off planet.

Part 2 – Response:

A group of drunk miners are intent on assaulting Mara, Luke and Mara are intent on preventing that, and a fight breaks out. Halla finds Artoo as she sneaks away and Imperial stormtroopers round up everyone for Grammel to punish.

Pinch Point at 3/8 of word count = Luke and Mara meet Grammel and are imprisoned while their second cover story is investigated.

Luke and Mara are thrown into a cell with a pair of Yuzzem, Hin and Kee. Mara is alarmed, but Luke knows how to say hello in Yuzz and makes friends.

Grammel contacts Governor Essada over the lightsaber. Essada is sending it to the Imperial specialist’s attention and Grammel needs to keep the pair in custody until a decision is made about them. Grammel then hurries down to the prison level to check on things.

Grammel charges into the cell block and is relieved that the Yuzzem have not killed Luke and Mara. Then he threatens them trying to learn what’s so special about them.

Mid-Point Shift at 4/8 or 50% of word count = Prison escape. A good time to show how weak Mara’s levitation skill is with the tray. They underestimated the blood thirst of the Yuzzem.

Part 3 – Attack:

Luke sees his lightsaber on Grammel’s belt before sending the charges down that hallway and grabs it back with the Force. They blow their way out of the Imperial headquarters and steal the crawler. Information exchange while they keep moving at a slower pace.

Pinch Point at 5/8 of word count = Vader arrives on Mimban and meets Grammel. Vader is not impressed, but is oddly proud of the Rebel who orchestrated the prison break.

Cover the wandrella chase and underground hike with exposition and start the scene with the underground lake travel. Luke fights the lake monster.

They land and are attacked by the Coway. They win and chase after the last one, only to find their captured party in the Coway village.

Mara fights to the Coway champion for Canu’s judgment. She wins by finally harnessing levitation to hit the Coway in the head with a rock.

All is Lost Lull = Coway feast ends with the realization Vader and stormtroopers are coming

Part 4 – Resolution:

3rd Plot Point at 6/8 or 75% of word count = Battle between the Coway and the Imperials

Aftermath of the battle, liberating transportation from the Imperials, and racing to the temple.

Vader kills Grammel.

They arrive at the Temple of Pomojema, apparently first, and have to fight off a lizard monster. Luke defeats the monster, but his arm is broken by rock pulled by the lizard monster. Then he gets trapped by the falling ceiling.

Vader’s entrance, Vader fights Mara. Halla and Hin go for the crystal. Kee tries to help Mara with Vader and Mara is able to deflect Vader’s killing blow so Kee loses his arm instead. Vader gives her the gash down the leg.

Halla and Hin come back to Luke and Kee, and Hin pulls the stone off Luke. Vader offers to spare Mara’s life if Luke surrenders to him. Halla gives Luke the Kaiburr crystal.

Climactic Moment at 7/8 or 98% of word count = Luke powered by the Kaiburr crystal pulls part of the temple down on Vader and talks to Padmé.

Vader’s Noghri Honor Guard brings Vader’s shuttle to the temple, so they steal it. They clean up and treat the wounds as they flee in hyperspace. Halla notes that the Kaiburr crystal is no longer magical.

Obi-Wan’s POV: The Falcon lands in the Nanth’ri system to pick up Luke and Mara with Obi-Wan and Leia both on board. They are battered and burned and have the Kaiburr crystal and two Yuzzem with them, one down an arm. Obi-Wan tells them they’re learning healing techniques next as they get them on board. They had exchanged a part of value off of Vader’s shuttle with Halla for the Kaiburr crystal, even though it seems de-powered now. Obi-Wan doesn’t think the stone is suitable for lightsabers and Mara protests cutting it into smaller pieces. Luke agrees with Mara. “It’s not ours. Not really. We’re just keeping it safe until the Empire is gone and we can return it to Mimban.”

Questions to Ask to Figure Out the Beats

What is the conceptual hook/appeal of your story? Rewrite Splinter of the Mind’s Eye to improve it and fit it into the Rescue the Farmboy series

What is the theme(s) of your story? Not completely sure yet, but something to do with the human bigotry against the various alien species. I want to take that aspect of the original book and beat it to death with a hammer.

How does your story open? Luke and Mara arrive at Mimban and discover a beacon broadcasting. They head down to land and the energy discharge causes them to crash.

Is there an immediate hook? Yes, will they survive crashing is a question to keep readers reading.

And then…

What is the hero doing in their life before the first plot point? The assignment was to explore Mimban for potential Rebel Alliance use. Crashing their ships has changed it to finding the beacon and surviving until they can find a way off the planet.

What stakes are established prior to the first plot point? The Empire has established a secret mining facility on Mimban. This makes survival easier (human supplies) and harder (Luke and Mara are both wanted by the Empire).

What is the Inciting Event in your story? Luke and Mara finding the Imperial mining town and realize what is going on here.

What is your character’s backstory? Luke was wanted by the Empire, surrendered to Darth Vader, and was kept a prisoner on the Death Star until he was rescued by his friends. He then blew up the Death Star and saved Mara Jade’s life by finding her after she crashed into Yavin 4. Mara Jade failed to kill Luke Skywalker and would have died for it if not for Luke’s intervention. Her loyalty has transferred to him along with sharing a Force Bond with him. Artoo has finally found Anakin Skywalker’s son that Obi-Wan Kenobi disappeared with eighteen years ago and he is not letting the organic out of his sight again. Even better, Luke is a pilot too. He gets to fly again. This story is set two months after Liberation.

What inner demons show up here that will come to bear on the hero later in the story? What is the lie the character believes? Lie Mara believes: Human are superior. Lie Luke believes: He won’t love anyone else like he loved Biggs.

What is foreshadowed prior to the first plot point? Dealing with the misconceptions Mara has about physical contact and what was between Luke and Biggs come up while they make camp after crashing. Mara sees nothing wrong with how the Mimbanites are treated.

What is the first plot point in your story? Luke and Mara make a deal with Halla to help her get the Kaiburr crystal in exchange for her helping get them off Mimban.

Is it located properly within the story sequence? Yes.

How does it change the hero’s agenda going forward? It seems like a minor diversion to earn them good will of a local who can help them escape Mimban without Imperial reprisal. And that the Kaiburr crystal seems to affect the Force is a good reason to keep it out of Imperial hands.

What is the nature of the hero’s new need/quest? Treasure hunt!

What is at stake relative to meeting that need? Luke and Mara being identified by the Imperials and probably executed.

What opposes the hero in meeting that need? The Imperial forces on Mimban led by Captain-Supervisor Grammel.

What does the antagonistic force have at stake? Losing the secrecy over the mining operation on Mimban (if the local system government finds out, it could change the amount of Imperial resources spent to extract the ore). Losing control over the criminals who have been pressed into mining service.

Why will the reader empathize with the hero at this point? Grammel is horrible, physically violent and threatens torture to get what he wants. And he sees through Luke and Mara’s cover stories.

How does the hero respond to the antagonistic force? Luke lies and lies some more, while trying to protect Mara from Grammel and protect Grammel from Mara. Then he makes allies with the Yuzzem.

What is the mid-point contextual shift/twist in your story? The prison break is when Luke and Mara take charge of their fates. They have no plans to be here when Grammel finds out they are not criminals from Circarpous, so time to use what Jedi skills they have learned to get out.

How does it part the curtain of superior knowledge…

… For the hero? Keeping the Yuzzem under control; neither Luke nor Mara thought that would be a problem. More Luke than Mara, she’s fine with killing off the enemy that would chase them.

and/or, for the reader? Readers will see Mara’s weak levitation skills in action when Luke has to grab the tray mentally.

How does this shift the context of the story? The treasure hunt to reach the Kaiburr crystal and leave Mimban before the Imperial forces regroup is on.

How does this pump up dramatic tension and pace? The prison break ends up blowing up the Imperial headquarters.

How does your hero begin to successfully attack their need/quest? They steal a crawler (or a repulsorlift vehicle) and follow the map toward the Temple of Pomojema.

How does the antagonistic force respond to this attack? The Imperial forces have to lick their wounds and figure out how to track the escapees through the jungles. And then Grammel has to greet Lord Vader. Lord Vader is so not impressed with the Imperial forces, though, oddly enough he’s a bit proud of the prison break.

How do the hero’s inner demons come to bear on this attack?

What is the all-is-lost lull just before the third plot point? The Coway feast ends with the realization that Vader is leading the Imperials straight to them.

What is the third plot point in your story? The Coway successfully beat back the Imperials, but Vader and Grammel get away to get the Kaiburr crystal first. Vader’s reasoning is if Luke is after it, Luke will come to Vader to get it.

How does this change or affect the hero’s proactive role? Luke is determined to get the Kaiburr crystal and get off planet before Vader takes him prisoner again.

How is your hero the primary catalyst for the successful resolution of the central problem or issue in this story? Vader offers to spare Mara if Luke joins him. Luke refuses. Halla gives the Kaiburr crystal to Luke and with the amplified Force, Luke pushes Vader back where the lizard came from and drops more ceiling between him and Mara. Padmé appears and gets to talk to Luke. They steal Vader’s shuttle and leave Vader’s Noghri honor guard to dig him out.

How does it meet the hero’s need and fulfill the quest? They get the Kaiburr crystal, so the treasure hunt is won. And Vader’s wailing on Mara makes both Vader and Luke realize he cares more than just friendship.

How does the hero demonstrate the conquering of inner demons? Mara defeats her lie by protecting the Yuzzem. Luke rescues Mara.

How are the stakes of the story paid off? They’re beat up to hell and back, but they survived and got off Mimban. And the Empire didn’t get the Kaiburr crystal or Luke. And Leia and Han both drop their suspicions about Mara.

What will be the reader’s emotional experience as the story concludes? Relief that they made it out of the adventure. And eager to see what happens next.

If you opened my link to the blank beat sheet, you may have noticed I skipped the beginning details when I just quoted the Mission on Mimban Beat Sheet. That's because my fifth step is to figure out my Comprehensive Concept. This is a tool I was introduced to by Todd A. Stone in Novelist's Boot Camp.

A comprehensive concept is a foundation builder. It is a short statement that combines the following four essential elements to form a strong base for your complex novel: (1) genre, (2) main character, (3) opposition, and (4) macro setting.

I have added a fifth element, the conflict, but I'm not sure where I pulled that from. Maybe Larry Brooks, or maybe Shawn Coyne's Story Grid. What I have found over the years is that sentences makes a great summary that FanFiction.Net and Ao3 both ask for to describe your fic.

So for this story, I came up with this list.

Genre: Action-adventure fanfic

Opposition: the Empire

Main Characters: Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade

Macro Setting: Star Wars, Mimban

Conflict: beat the Imperials to the mystical object

Now you meld these five items into a sentence that describes the story. I ended up with: In this action-adventure fanfic, Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade’s exploration of Mimban is derailed by the unexpected Imperial presence on the planet and their way off-planet depends on finding the Kaiburr crystal before the Imperials do.

That's done and I'm prepared to start on the narrative. You may have noticed I skipped over filling in the theme(s). I have an idea, especially considering the human bigotry of this story, but I generally wait to see what develops and then find it to punch it up during the editing.

So thank you for taking this journey with me. I hope I've given you something you can apply to your own writing endeavors. There will be fic at some point.

[kaorei-endgame]

Ranking of Resident Evil save room themes?

I got my first latte of the season, it’s chilly enough to wear pants indoors, #Streamtober started yesterday. LET’S DO THIS, NICK. >:O 

17. Resident Evil 6 Chapter Ends, All Characters: Back to the cabbage patch. None of you are valid, with your Netflix Original knock-off of some ABC knock-off of 24-ass soundtrack. Go suck a giraffe’s dick with an Ada clone, Jake Muller.

16. Resident Evil, Deadly Silence: What is this Resident Evil for Babiez? Nintendogz+ResidentEvilz? Imagine listening to this on the crappy DS speakers. Wasn’t there something creepy about Jill’s costume in this game, like you could tear pieces of it off, or am I just conjuring fall memories and combining them with how they went out of the way to add boob bounce to the REmake 15 years after the fact, and now Jill’s boobs on PS4 undulate languidly beneath her shirt like a pair of Dragon Quest Slimes yearning to be free. This track: aural despair, unleavened. A way to quickly induce nausea in dogs who have eaten chocolate or raisins.

15. Resident Evil 6, Ada Chapter End: Well, okay, this one is all right. The first fifteen seconds feel like a HiFi version of a track from those Playstation 1 top-down shooters where you played a murder clown or a pyro guy escaping a space prison where you were held for crimes you definitely DID commit. The little background jog kicks in soon after and look, I’m a soft sell for ululation, what can I say.** But it just all just serves to stir memories like embers finally gone to smolder beneath the fireplace ash, stoking them after all these years, reminding me what a weird psycho they turned Ada into in this game. I like reflecting on how people got so mad about there not being co-op in Ada’s campaign that Capcom patched in a partner but his name is like “TeamMate” or “Buddy” and he has no lines of dialogue and is never addressed in the story in any way and thus is either a figment of Ada’s imagination or he’s a real dude who’s just pretty quiet and ultimately drowned on that sub? Well, I guess life’s tough if you’re the (potentially imagination) friend of an ex-spy turned pod person.

**(i contacted my musician friend, Kylie, who confirmed that ululation  was the term i was thinking of, lest i second guess myself. at the same time, i’ll post her text here lest i misrepresent her words “Yeah, ululate as a technical term is vibrato using the tongue, so that would be wrong, but ululate as a descriptor refers to a sound that has a very pronounced waver between tones to it.” cool! i’ve often wondered if that’s the most accurate way to describe it. thanks Kylie!! :D)

14. Resident Evil Revelations 2: Claire gets the best costumes probably across the whole series and yet it feels like she’s gotten the least love of all the main cast. I never really got it, she looks good in denim, whether jacket or pant, and her Revelations 2 blazer does her all the favors. But now they’re remaking RE2 and they turned her face into this weird porcelain Precious Moments dol—MY BELOVED DAUGHTER. MY MOIRA. I SWEAR I’LL FIND YOU. FOR THE SAKE OF JBLL I WILL AVENGE YOU AND THE OTHER ONE.

13. Resident Evil 0: What’s with all the shivery whiney stuff. Like your younger sibling running nails down the chalkboard of your spine, like how the speed run of this game hinges on juggling an evasive bat with 5 out of the 6 flame rounds on hand, so try. Neither relaxing nor scary. Do I hear something like a bongo in the distance? That is the clarion call of Becky Chamber’s goose booty coming home to roost.

12. Resident Evil 7: I had a dream last night about this game. If you have phobias about glass and/or mouths and/or wasp genitals, I would skip this paragraph. I was in the house where you have to run away from the mom with the disgusting wasp hive vagina. Also—unrelated and yet somehow related, as dreams always are—I had opened a beer bottle in such a way that the stem broke. I had decided to drink it anyway and now, as I progressed through the house, I found that there seemed to be endless small slivers of glass in my mouth that I had to repeatedly spit out lest they cut me. When I woke up, my jaw was clenched to the point of soreness. Welcome to the family, I guess. Otherwise this save room music reminds me of the game itself: mostly dull and barely there.

11. Resident Evil Revelations: Item Box Music, only Save Room Adjcanet. Can’t disassociate this from the “swish-swish-swish-SHUCK” sound effects of navigating menus to equip Charge Shot 2 to my Shotgun. Not as pleasing or as integrated into my bone marrow as  the Resident Evil 3 equivalent, but I have probably played this game through thirteen or fourteen times at this point. Life is short and yet the strings of fate tug us the directions they will.

10. Resident Evil 5: Again, this is menu music. No save rooms at all in this game. Anyway I have no inherent memory of this song because I’m sure I’ve talked over it while upgrading my M92FS to 100 bullet capacity 110% of the times I’ve played this game. Exempted from higher echelon of rankings on these technicalities, but still A POOR PERFORMANCE INDEED for Not The Best Resident Evil Yet Paradoxically The One That’s Given Me The Most Joy In My life.

9. Resident Evil, Dead Aim

: Wow I almost can’t believe I don’t remember this despite playing this game enough to write a speedrun guide for it. Well, that was the style at the time. As was a bloated zombie corpse boss, I suppose (long before Left 4 Dead, those copy cats), whose weak spot was its exposed brain which, halfway through the fight when you’d done enough damage, would pop out and dance a sprightly jig on its brainstem every time you shot it. With the whisper of wind and rain and single intermittent synth I feel like I’m living in a cyberpunk future and not a game whose protagonist’s “””cajun””” accent is as questionable as its presentation of the antagonist’s gender.

8. Resident Evil, Umbrella Chronicles

: Hey now, weird bit of the creepy-freaky bass here kind of does put you in a certain headspace, but it’s not the headspace i remember of this game, which was basically unplayable in co-op for the final 3rd because a failed QTE would result in a hunter slicing away half your health. Good for an Into the Breach playlist to keep you focused on the action and stop you from trying to play it while also binging a Netflix show about werewolves that you didn’t really like anyway, and splitting your attention between visual mediums is just getting Good Pilots Killed.

7. Resident Evil 2: Ominous. Maybe TOO Ominous at points. Aren’t save rooms about being safe? I guess we could argue that because the save room reflects the lacuna of safety  BING BONG piano is the Try Hard version of video game music asking “you scurred yet?” Perhaps a novice mistake from a first-time director who would go on to do so many great things (well, RE2 among them, no lie). In a way, this fits with Rookie Cop Leon S. Kennedy, and anyway it’s so over the top I’m kind of okay with it. Most innervating when first heard on your way to equip a cowgirl costume for fast-firing six-shooter action. Guns suck, and cowboys too, but both are okay if we experience them in the abstract sense. This is what culture teaches us. Fan the trigger.

6. Resident Evil 4: A surprisingly gentle one, considering the series turn towards action from which it would never recover. I am transported to the early minutes of a horror movie where the audience knows something the protagonist doesn’t about the terror that’s about to befall them while they blithely pick up a desiccated nudie mag in an old shed on a haunted property they inherited from their estranged uncle, more focused on the “ballistics” before them than the axe murderer crouched in the shadows of disused farm equipment behind.

5. Resident Evil 3, Nemesis: More languid riff on 2. Strings get you shivery, and no more than a single BONG per two measures proves that save room music is as much about the notes you DON’T play. Two bongs to scare, but one bong to keep you on your toes, disallowing you from getting *too* relaxed by the soothing bleeps and bloops as you combine the 3 Gunpowder As you just found to make sure you have enough ammo to pistol-juke the so-called unkillable Nemesis. You’re not coward, but that doesn’t make you brave. Discretion is the better part of valor, they say, but that’s not taking into account that non-discretiony valor rewards you directly with a faster-firing pistol with critical headshots. :3

4. Resident Evil 1, Vanilla: Gentle, plucky strings make you question your memory, more familiar with later revisions than you are this one. How often was I in this place? Or does its primacy belie its immediacy? If I went to the strange, pointless closet around the corner from this medicine save room, would I find a broken shotgun I expect there, a round of magnum ammo, or simply the ghost of discarded aspirations masking as memories. I recall a time when it felt like time was enough, but then again, this was back when anything sub-three hours would get you the infinite rocket launcher, regardless of how many First Aid Sprays you used.

3. Resident Evil 1, REmake: High fidelity version of RE1’s gentle strings remind you of simpler times when your worst fears were zombies resurrecting into scarier, faster zombies with claws. What we wouldn’t give to go back to those days, and maybe tell ourselves not to take out so much student debt. Listening to this sends a pulse of gentle energy through my shoulder blades that makes me think “relaxation,” though I’m not sure my body understands the meaning of the word. A respite in trying eras, there is no association with the tension of shaving 15 minutes off your time to be competitive. “Safe Heaven,” they call it; a theme for a place that is not our own, but should be.

2. Resident Evil 1, Director’s Cut: Wow I did not expect music box chimes and tones stirs something ancestral in my blood. I’ve played the Director’s Cut far more times than the original RE1 and this is like coming home to a big house where I enjoyed an idyllic childhood, but I now know every box is filled with the creepy knife doll from Onimusha. Though these senations are foreign to me, something about them inspires a thirst for a homeland I never knew.

1. Resident Evil Code Veronica: The absolute chillest. In life, paths may wind, but the ultimate  The strings are tickling your spine. You’re so relaxed you feel like oiling your ponytail, and you could even take a nap in Steve Burnside’s arms without reflexively gagging. When you hear this, you are at peace, and the world seems like a place that can be kind. Truly, the Code is Veronica.

and don’t forget to vote in our poll on whether or not we’re playing Claire A or Leon A tonight!

[chaoticclaire]

RESIDENT EVIL WEEK

Day 4: Alternate Choice - Free Day

~ ~ ~

Okay, this is a longer and personal post…

For the Free Day I chose my favorite and/or most memorable scenes. To be honest, I could have chosen so many more, but I limited it to two per main game. Resident Evil is a big part of my life for over 20 years now - the games, characters, story, music, EVERYTHING, mean so much to me ♥

~ ~ ~

RE ZERO: Billy playing the piano (I let Rebecca play first because I knew from RE1 that she could play… who would have thought that Billy can play so well! I really love the little song he plays) /// “Thank you, Rebecca” … this thumbs up, so cute! I can’t help it, Billy is one of my favorites ♥ Why wasn’t he referenced in Vendetta, why?! ;_;

RE1: Okay, so the first zombie scared the shit out of me but what REALLY destroyed my childhood were the dogs jumping through the window! Bye, bye innocent childhood! My parents and I also knew from that moment on that this game was something different, something new – and we just couldn’t stop playing from thereon! /// Chris and Jill holding hands in the helicopter… the moment my OTP was born!

RE2: The intro just blew me away and Claire and Leon meeting for the first time was just great! From “Don’t shoot!” to the conversation in the car, I love every second of it. And of course seeing Claire for the first time… who would have thought that THAT would influence my life so much ♥ /// Claire and Leon in the S.T.A.R.S. office. I felt so sorry for Claire that Chris wasn’t there… and the music, so sad yet beautiful :’)

RE The Umbrella Chronicles: “The Death cannot die!” HUNK barely making it out of the RPD. I really hope he gets a more fleshed-out scenario in the RE2 Remake, he’s one of the best villains! /// Wesker returns! RE hasn’t been the same since he’s gone… I miss him :’( (and, to be fair, Ada’s escape level was also nice – we finally got some answers on how she survived)

RE3: The first encounter with Nemesis… I was so scared, I didn’t even notice the option selection at first XD That guy is so iconic for a reason! /// The ending, especially the news report. Raccoon City’s fate is so sad… (love the ending song, it’s one of the best RE songs ever!)

RE Code Veronica: “Remember your promise” Chris and Claire, finally reunited and they don’t want to lose each other again :’) I love their sibling relationship, they are the best! /// “Hey, I always keep my promises” Chris, my favorite big bro ♥ ♥ ♥

RE The Darkside Chronicles: My Claire being so strong :’) I love how she is one of the more emotional characters, it makes her more human. Alyson also nailed her performance in this game ♥ /// Leon and Krauser as comrades… why did it have to go downhill from thereon :’( I like Krauser on both, the good and the bad side, but still… I’m glad their past got fleshed-out in TDC, he deserved it!

RE4: The beginning of the game. Seriously, I have played the village part so many times, it always cheers me up when I’m in a bad mood or sad. RE4 is not necessarily a good RE game in my opinion but damn, it’s one hell of a game! AND SAVE THE DOG! ALWAYS! /// Leon and Krauser – now as enemies. The knife fight was so intense. I remember my friends and I playing it over and over again because we had so much fun.

RE Revelations: Quint and Keith, I love those two dorks! RE isn’t RE without its cheesiness and that duo delivered that perfectly! I want them back, even if it’s just a BSAA behind-the-scenes cutscene :D /// Parker “dies” :’( What an emotional moment, I really liked Parker, he’s a good and honest guy! So glad he survived in the end!

RE5: My OTP reunites!!! Fighting Jill was difficult, both gameplay and emotional wise. Not shooting her but TALKING to her was well done and it really gave me the feels. I don’t care if they are just partners or a couple in RE canon, I was just glad they reunited again ♥ /// Chris in the ending, his “Yeah, it’s worth it” line always makes me smile. He’s my RE hero, I can’t help it :’)

RE Revelations 2: “That IS Wesker, Alex Wesker!” I mean, we all more or less knew it, but still,… I hope she returns, we need a constant villain again and her being a Wesker is even better. /// Claire saves the day! Claire is always amazing but that cutscene blew me away so much! She finally kicked some real ass again and although her ponytail is iconic I really love that she cut her hair. It kinda marks an end/new beginning part of her life I guess. Also, don’t you ever fuck with a Redfield and their family or friends. You. Just. Don’t.! That ending has everything a RE ending needs: a helicopter flying into the sunset, a cheesy one-liner, a rocket launcher to the face, a slow-motion bullet… THAT is RE guys, THAT is RE :D I don’t care if it has been done a thousand times before, I enjoyed the whole ending so much :D ♥ (”I HAVE THIS!”)

RE6: Chris “papa bear” Redfield and his soldiers. From being a rebellious young soldier that got kicked out of the Air Force to a leader figure with his team looking up to him – my boy has come a long way ♥ /// Sherry sharing her past with Jake. I was glad Sherry was back and her “His research killed him” line got me by surprise… so glad Claire and Leon have been there for her after Raccoon City ♥

~ ~ ~

Like I said, I could have chosen so much more…

I kept the pictures dark for a reason and only highlighted the most important part(s) to emphasize what’s important to me :)

Thank you Resident Evil for so many good memories. I really wish I could thank the person who introduced me to the games, but he passed away before I could, unfortunately :’( I met so many friends offline and online because of the games, I started with cosplay, improved my drawing skills, etc. It’s a huge part of my life and will be forever ♥ I’m so glad I got my Made in Heaven tattoo as a tribute ♥

Also thanks a lot to everyone who read this to the end, it really means a lot to me :’) ♥  ~ChaoticClaire

[elizabethrobertajones]

@destielonfire replied to your post “You've been around for a while in the SPN fandom, right? I was...”

i'm sorry about the chronic pain, I can understand how that doesn't leave much room for enthusiasm or writing or anything else..... I was wondering though, you say you got what you wanted from the characters, but is that also true about destiel? Or does that no longer matter to you in the sense that you'll just be happy to see it play out however the writers want? (not a wanky question, I am honestly curious)

Thanks :) And, yeah... Destiel too, but in a weird way where obviously I still want it to pay out MORE and BETTER and more easy to read as canon, but literally since I got invested I have been pretty much non-stop since season 9 convinced that I knew exactly what the last shot we'd ever see of those two together was:

- that was how it was gonna happen. Cas said he loved them, and then bam before Dean knew it, he's dead at his feet and that's a wrap, folks!

As you can see, with more canon to come and Cas returning along with it, I'm at a bit of a loss to process past my point of "welp that's going to happen one day" in my bitter grumpy "oh they'll make it canon alright" feeling here. I mean I'm not even THAT bitter about stuff in general on the show, but I sort of nurtured in my heart of hearts the grim acceptance this was my worst case but also 70-90% likely endgame scenario for making it canon, to keep my expectations sensible. And this model is not how Cas dies in general - this is the very specific "this is how canon happens" thought. If the show ended on this shot, we'd have had that to work off to yell forever about if it was canon or not, and maybe got a Korrasami-style explanation later but without the happy ending.

Breezing past the endgame before it was meant to happen is a bit confusing :P

And other stuff like the Sam and Dean development, or their personal growth - again, this season tidied things up in such a way the spoilers for next season about character development are like, "and then Sam carries on being chill and in charge" and I'm like, one, cool love it all aboard, two, who is this guy. Because the whole long painful Carver era grind through all the meta and spec was a grim hope that ONE DAY MAYBE the show would even get to MAKING its point instead of waffling around hinting while putting almost the opposite picture in the main text with only subtextual clues that it was all fucked up and meant to change. 

By the time it started getting to the point it was all going too fast - like, I should have braced myself to speculate beyond this point after Sam was like "it's called sublimation Dean" and Dean snarked about that's him alright. Like, seriously. Miscalculation on my part, and then we barrel into season 12 in full force and systematically work through entire checklists that have just been sitting around gathering dust on everyone. And even if we're not at the END of the checklist, it's like, Carver just wrote all the points on the checklist up for us and made us aware of everything that had to change. And even when little bits of character change came, they were still quite quiet, and not really addressed as solid changes that paid off, and then the end of season 11 was all crowded and messy trying to wipe the slate clean, and only with the last conversation with Amara and Chuck, and then the promise of Mary coming back, do we get an idea change is coming...

I mean I have been browsing old meta tags on and off this hiatus and we all made the required checklists for what we hoped Mary was going to do in the narrative, but something about Carver era just really wore me out like we could say all this needs to happen but would we just get more and more nonsense showing the problem without delivering the answer? And with no clue how it was supposed to look or could play out or, again, that anything could continue after it. Most spec was hedging bets on, well, we'll get some resolution with Mary but then they'll kill her off... and they're like hey we removed Mary from the board but she is SO not dead, she's kicking more ass than ever! Like... okay. Cool. Cool cool cool. What?

And no one's *fixed* and some of these things aren't exactly OVER, like, performing!Dean symbolically died and we had a whole rebirth followed by breaking down Mary's walls too thing, but I still expect Dean not to act magically cured, and he was wearing short shorts in 11x04 anyway so it's a fluid development that's been going on for ages, but tiny nods like the shorts that he might be feeling better and more comfortable were great but not playing a role in the narrative, while now it has BEEN the narrative and his entire conclusion to season 12 in his personal arc was this great coming together of his personal arc Carver set up and the new angle to attack his childhood trauma Mary brought to the table, and it's DEEP and actually getting to the heart of things and unpacking the characters and exploring how they feel and putting it all out there.

And I can't even explain Sam - just know that until this season I only had one thing I ever really cried about in this show, which was Bobby's death, and then somehow out of nowhere, Berens hit me so hard I SOBBED when Sam uncovered the Colt and looked at it in tears with his eyes, so clearly SOMETHING epic happened there in his characterisation and his own personal growth. (Sam's personal growth tends to hit me in hindsight about what it was all about... It's almost like I need to be 3 seasons clear to understand it properly >.>) And then 12x22 managed to completely beat me up on both Sam and Dean AND Mary's behalf and I cried a bunch more times, very confused about when the show changed to something I cried about the emotional stuff in... I cry very easily at OTHER things. I spent the last couple of days WEEPING about [static noises] in The Adventure Zone, and the Orphan Black finale, and I've got a low investment in OB, I just like watching it. I cried at its previous season finale as well. SPN just isn't a tear jerker for me, and it's not tuned that way in general? And this season the writing has changed to doing SOMETHING with the characters that puts it into the territory where they're wringing our investment in the characters in a GOOD way and I think it's to do with the changes and the sense of finally overcoming and growing and being free of the weights piled on them over the years. Even just the PROMISE that that might happen is shocking enough, really :P

Like long term 12x22 is probably going to lose some of its punch once we see where this development goes and HOPEFULLY we work our way to the real resolutions. But just in terms of emotional attrition from Carver era, it's just a massive RELIEF to have some things spoken out loud, and other things like the grenade launcher game they put in the subtext, to be acknowledged and played with in a way which really really WORKED to convey that they WANT to positively develop their characters and maybe it's a waiting game but they seem to want to actually DO it.

And I'm basically just in shock :P

And with the Destiel stuff, then, to go back to how it all makes me feel, I feel like there's maybe a very real possibility they're going to do some pretty amazing things with it, canonical ending or not, for a subtext gremlin like myself I can't even BEGIN to grapple what they might throw at us, because I can barely process what they already have given us, because it's almost completely unbelievable to me because I've lurked in fandom so long waiting for them to actually make a move? Practically, the meta I read at the end of season 9 still broadly applied at the start of season 12, but immediately and mercilessly got resolved or changed up or turned on its head and shaken all about, and I'm too tired to keep up :P

So I don't know, there's a large part of me that's now content to watch it play out, but mostly because I feel like the way it's pandered it's crossed a lot of lines with the stuff they have given us like mixtapes and an "i love you" and angel/human romance episodes and Dean being singled out to kneel at Cas's lifeless body... I mean 12x10's actual concept was like a ridiculous dream back when, reading meta about all these season 8 human/monster relationship episodes, and the interspecies romance in Bloodlines using 6x20's dialogue and so on. They explored it all obliquely, and some parallels like the one in the LARP episode or the Prometheus episode were pretty blatant Crypt Scene foreshadowing to the point people were speculating it before it happened in good detail, AND romantic AND interspecies romances at that. But an actual episode unpacking not just angels and humans and how they mix, but to tie it to Cas, and to tie Cas to Dean directly? If you dropped 12x10 in the middle of season 8, the meta writers would have literally exploded. No survivors :P

And that's the positive remains of the season 8 meta bubble I still read when I was there in season 9 and it was getting bitter, and then I weathered season 10 and with the plot accordion and the beginnings of putting Cas somewhere else to delay everything with Dean, getting back to it with 3 personal episodes and loads of other moments which explored how Cas REALLY felt and related to humanity and "humanity"? I mean... wow.

And there's a part of me desperately trying to keep everything in context, to remember this journey as it unfolded from right back in the days where it was all snide and borderline cruel gay jokes and now it's a narrative goliath... And even to remember how sparse and painful and scavenging for Destiel subtext scraps season 10 was or something... But that part of me that's trying to keep it all in context literally can't handle season 12's context because it defies all the previous ways you're supposed to handle it. It's too hot to hold onto and you have to drop it. Which I appear to have done, because in the sense of waiting and expectations and wondering wtf canon would look like or what the writers would dare to do... All the things like that, they've actually just ALREADY crossed all the lines my careful expectations were set to? Because I always tried to listen to the bitter, careful, don't get your hopes up side of things because it sounded much more healthy to take it all as a pleasant surprise... 

I don't know where it's all going and I can't take it as a promise of canon or even dare to raise and sort of hope that it's going to get more canon from here. But's going to get more INTERESTING from here, for sure :P And I feel like in season 13 I will be in business to write a LOT of meta. I just can't even begin to grapple with what they're going to throw at us before we see it...

[rewindfrequency]

Evil Within Review

Developed by Tango Gameworks

Published by Bethesda Softworks

Played on: PS3

Also Available on: PS4, Xbox One, Xbox 360, and Microsoft Windows

Detective Sebastian Castellanos and his teammates Joseph Oda and Juil Kidman respond to a gruesome mass murder at the Beacon Mental Hospital. The security cameras show a mysterious hooded figure with supernatural powers quickly dispatching the security guards before moving to eliminate the patients and nurses. Who was that? Detective Castellanos is interrupted by an ear piercing noise before waking upside-down in a meat locker. After running for his life, Sebastian escapes the hospital. Sebastian and his teammates find each other and quickly escape in an ambulance with one surviving patient and caretaker as the entire city falls apart and reality itself seems to bend at someone's will. Find the truth, and discover who or what is truly in control.

Shinji Mikami returns to the triple A games industry with a new survival horror title. He already has great hits such as Resident Evil 1 and 4 as well Dino Crisis under his belt with this being his newest horror endeavor. The Evil Within was released in late 2014 in that odd coming-of-age period where 7th generation consoles still had large fan bases while 8th generation consoles were becoming popular but still lacked large, diverse buying groups. I thought I would review this game on the PS3 to see how the game holds up for those who never decided to upgrade or who find a good deal for an older device.

The Evil Within is a stealth-action horror game with many similarities to Resident Evil 4. Levels mainly consist of the player wandering through linear stages populated with enemies that are similar to zombies but aren’t zombies while in the third person camera view. These enemies tend to only have melee attacks but later in the game get guns and other weapons to attack the player. You in turn have access to a revolver, shotgun, sniper rifle, Magnum, and the Agony Crossbow which is a crossbow with custom arrows (i.e. ice, harpoon, explosive, electric, and flash arrows). You also have melee attacks but they don’t do much damage. You spend most levels taking out enemies with these weapons and slowly finding your way to the boss battle. The player can stealth kill an enemy by sneaking up behind them and performing a stealth kill. However, just stabbing the monster in the head won’t do the trick sometimes. To ensure that enemy doesn’t come creeping up on you in the next area you can burn bodies of the enemies you just “killed.” In addition to the regular shambling monsters you encounter in every level, you also have mini-boss opponents. These include massive, deformed beings with blades for arms that screech as they chase you around and masses of tissue with legs that lunge at you. These enemies may not sound scary now, but when you play the game they are absolutely terrifying.

The levels really compliment this by being claustrophobic and dark. Enemies lurk around every corner as they hit the walls and open doors to confuse you on where they are at. The real terror comes from two experiences in the game. Chase sequences and boss battles. I’ll talk about the chase sections first. These involve the player running away from some type of monster in cramped corridors. At first these sequences are heavily scripted but later in the game become far more user dependent. One time I was being chased by a humanoid spider through a factory and had to shoot valves to redirect flames to escape. This became incredibly frantic, as I had to aim carefully all the while avoiding this creature. Even after shooting the valve I had to wait 30 seconds for the flames to dissipate, making it a game of tag. Except if you lose you get your head ripped off.

Boss battles are probably the main selling point of this game however. Instead of the player simply running away from some horrible abomination now they have to fight it. Bosses are difficult but never feel unfair and always provide a unique challenge. Bosses in this game aren’t beaten through brute force, they are beaten through fast thinking and tactical decision making. For example, without giving spoilers, let me share one of my experiences. There is a boss that keeps coming alive after you kill him with traditional small arms. So how do you beat such a boss? You kill him by leading him towards a ceiling of spikes. You have to run through a disorienting, noxious gas room to get there however. As you navigate this room and try to turn off the gas, the boss chases you and strikes you down. It may be the scariest thing I’ve experienced in a video game having to deactivate a gas system as the camera angle turns to show the boss slowly walking up behind me just as I push through the last bit of resistance the gas valve is providing. These battles alone are the best reason to buy the game.

Now something that really shocked me about this game is that it lacks puzzles. This really caught me off-guard, as almost every relevant survival horror game has its fair share of puzzles. But after completing the game I feel this is a good thing, as it helps the game establish its own identity from horror games of the past and carve out a new realm in the survival horror matrix. Something else that may shock others is that this is a game where stealth, action, and running away from fights are all viable options. In most modern survival horror games stealth/running away or full on blockbuster action seem to be the only options the player has. But The Evil Within really blends these together allowing for all kinds of play. In the stealth sections you are given a small icon at the top of the screen. When the pupil moves back and forth and the eyelid is somewhat closed that means the enemy is nearby but hasn’t spotted you yet. When the eye is fully open that means the enemy has spotted you. In most horror games of our time you would either have to run and hide in the closest closet or pull out your fully automatic machine gun and mow down everything that moves. But with The Evil Within you can either pull out your gun and shoot the enemy or run away and find a place to hide and wait for them to stop searching to save ammunition. Both are viable options with pros and cons and you have the power to choose which tactic (at least most of the time).

During the game you will kill enemies and sometimes find piles of green gel you can collect. You can also find jars of green gel around the levels. You use this green gel to upgrade you weapons and abilities. You can upgrade the amount of health you have, how much health you get back from healing items, how many rounds your guns can hold, and so on. These upgrades are vital and are really the only way to beat the game without getting your ass handed to you every five minutes.

Graphically this game looks incredible, especially when you consider it is running on a PS3 and that the developers had to make the game on four other platforms. But when you look beyond the graphical detail the game starts to show cracks in its technical integrity. Textures can take up to 3 seconds to load even when staring directly at them up close. The load times are unbearable in this game. It takes an average of twenty seconds to load up the level after you have died. Even though the frame rate remains at a constant 30 FPS with six enemies on screen and with various actions going on in the background it drops considerably when nothing happens. Usually the frame drops occur when Sebastian is walking along a path as the wind blows leaves off a tree and there is a lighting effect from a nearby fire going on at the same time. I guess it's good that the frame rate stays steady during the action but why does it have to drop so often because of environmental effects? Something else that really pissed me off is that the game has lined up some great voice actors such as Anson Mount and Yuri Lowenthal but has each of them speak just a handful of lines. Most of the story is explained through in-game text but this is just stupid. Why hire top class talent and not use it?

As a tip to players let me remind you that this is a very, very hard game. Even while playing on easy mode I still got my ass kicked I died a total of 41 times. (I know because the game told me at the end). I would recommend playing on easy and unlocking new game plus before attempting any of the harder difficulties. When playing on easier modes you tend to find more green gel and ammo. You also take less damage from attacks and do more damage. But keep in mind that even on easy mode there are still multiple one-hit kill enemies and sections where one wrong turn could kill you. Once you have beaten the game on any difficulty you unlock new game plus. This lets you replay the game from the very beginning but with some new perks. You retain all the upgrades you got from your last playthrough in addition to two new weapons (machine gun and rocket launcher) and 50,000 in free green gel. You also unlock a model mode where you can look at the character models for every person in the game. This is cool but the ability to rotate the camera to see the full model would have been nice.

Overall The Evil Within is another great game from Shinji Mikami that will provide you with 10-15 hours of gameplay depending on skill level and difficulty. It brings all sorts of terrifying creatures into the fray and adds extra tension with its tight level design and ingenious boss battles. The gameplay is satisfying and always feels good no matter what section of the game you’re playing. But the game is held back by poor usage of the PS3’s CEL architecture. Even though I never encountered a bug in the game, I found all sorts of texture issues and infuriating load times.

I am giving The Evil Within an 8 out of 10

Pros:

Awesome boss battles

Tense, tactical stealth sections

Well done chase sequences

Cool upgrade system

Great level layouts

Cons:

Some texture issues

Long load times

[turkiyeecom]

E3 2019 in photos: Gooigi, crazy arcade machines, and a DOOM museum

"Great work!" — Plus, the National Videogame Museum returns with some of its craziest rarities yet. Sam Machkovech and Kyle Orland - Jun 16, 2019 1:00 pm UTC LOS ANGELES—If you couldn't or didn't make it to E3 2019, you're not the only one. Anecdotal evidence suggests this was the most poorly attended E3 in some time (though its organizers at the ESA insist that this E3 had only 3,000 fewer attendees than 2018's jam-packed affair), owing perhaps to Sony's no-show or the abundance of live-streamed options for enjoying the event at your own home. Luigi and Gooigi attracted hordes of attendees excited to pose for photos. Sam Machkovech Inside the Luigi's Mansion 3 booth, fans could pose with a guy in a Luigi costume. Nintendo went all-out building a haunted house for these kiosks, but my photos of it turned out terribly. It was easier to get photos of the toy dioramas built around the Link's Awakening gameplay kiosks. Nintendo built four of them in all. A closer zoom on the plastic minis Nintendo built just for this occasion. Link delves into a dungeon. "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" "Wrong series, dude." I'll admit, I kinda lost my mind seeing this adorable Link and Marin meet-cute diorama. Marin in Smash Bros. Ultimate? A guy can dream, right? The EA Play event at the Hollywood Palladium included this impressive cast of paid Apex Legends cosplayers. Yes, the person cosplaying as Octane is a bilateral amputee. You couldn't buy these impressive 10" Apex Legends statues at EA Play. But you could buy a ton of shirts and hoodies. As an Apex Legends fan, Ars's Sam Machkovech nearly bought the "bamboozled" one. For some reason, EA Play hosted an Anthem gameplay session... and for some reason, attendees actually waited for it. FIFA '20 hosted an arena-soccer match. The McLaren Senna features in the new LEGO Speed expansion pack for Forza Horizon 4, so naturally, Microsoft had someone make a life-sized McLaren Serra model out of LEGO bricks. They went to pretty insane trouble to include significant elements from the real deal. Real wheels, real LEGO blocks. This refreshed version of the Xbox Elite Controller (dubbed "version 2") will launch in November for $180 and features such perks as a rechargeable battery, a controller-charging case, increased hair-trigger responsiveness, and more. We couldn't test the new XEC with any games, but its newly texturized grip and significant heft felt good to hold on its own. C'mon, Xbox, you think we're gonna steal this thing? How dare you. Say hello to one of Gears 5's newest, most disgusting monsters. It's not a Gears of War character if it doesn't have chest-high cover nearby. The best thing about Gears 5's new "Escape" mode is that it supports three-player split-screen co-op. More of this kinda thing, please, Xbox Game Studios. The newest LEGO Star Wars release this coming holiday season revolves around the "Skywalker Saga," so naturally, it's time to trot out the old LEGO Han in LEGO carbonite statue again. Coach's Pac-Man line of bags and accessories. For the discerning, fancypants gamer. More Pac-Man and classic-Namco swag. Pretty solid 10" Tekken statues. The entire Bandai Namco fancy-collectible wall was pretty great, honestly. I couldn't take photos of the Final Fantasy VII Remake gameplay kiosks, but I could take photos of the series' Shinra Corporation stuff all around it. For example, this recreation of an iconic FFVII backdrop. Square Enix put up a few Shinra advertisements around the kiosks. See? They have Midgar's best interests at heart! I really hope there's a full cartoon series hidden inside of FFVII Remake starring this cartoon dog. Someone please translate this for us. A small detail of the amazing theater room for Psychonauts 2. TEETH! Arcade1UP had a significant E3 presence with its home-friendly versions of classic arcade machines. The manufacturer used E3 to reveal its newest product: a Star Wars Atari arcade trilogy collection, coming "late 2019." Another look at its handsome side cabinet art. I had to stand on a stool to get a better look at the screen and controller. Because this cabinet was set up on a precarious platform, it was not playable at E3. An Arcade1UP representative said it collaborated with Disney and Lucasfilm in the making of this cabinet, then studied original classic arcade hardware to recreate the controller. Rather than answer my technical questions about how the controller was constructed in this modern version, the Arcade1UP rep insisted that it sought input from arcade cabinet collectors to confirm that its version nailed the original cabinets' feel and mechanical action. Another new Arcade1UP cabinet: the TMNT collection, which includes both of Konami's four-player brawlers in one cabinet. (Most of their cabs include at least two games, if not a few more.) It seems to comfortably support four players, but I liked this group's tweak: letting the middle player simultaneously control two turtles. Then there was this absolutely ridiculous thing that Arcade1UP built for the heckuvit. That's intrepid Ars Technica editor Sam Machkovech up there pretending to play the game. I hope the hand on the joystick makes clear how stupidly massive this whole rig was. But it worked... and Sam won his match. Really, Sam? Be professional. Sega's booth had its own oversized-controller gimmick to celebrate the impending launch of the Sega Genesis Mini this September. It's not really E3 until Ubisoft has a stage full of professional dancers and average fans getting down to Just Dance as one awkward collective. A peek at the poster-covered walls inside of Cyberpunk 2077's behind-closed-doors booth. Capcom had a relatively meager showing at E3, with this new Monster Hunter World expansion taking up most of the company's booth. But, hey, at least they had some nice 10" dragons under glass. Hold me closer, tiny draaaagonnnnns. Sorry, Street Fighter fans. Capcom didn't come to E3 2019 with any news about either SFV or any new fighting games. Just 10" figurines. Chun-Li and Cammy, kicking ass beneath glass. Larger than life. Just like Borderlands should be. Kyle Orland This was by far the best part of the Destroy All Humans revival attempt. Kyle Orland Pixl Cube was one of the more inventive games at the Indiecade booth, a tilt-sensitive box with LED dots that moved through a maze as if pulled by gravity. Kyle Orland In the entryway for Youtube Gaming's creator space, blocks from the show floor, a Google Stadia controller sits behind glass with a mock-up of a retro game store. Kyle Orland The YouTube Gaming space also featured some streamers on old-school CRT TVs, which was a weird look. Kyle Orland Cute. Kyle Orland The YouTube Gaming logo sits on a fake cartridge alongside... Hyper Chroma Ultra? Kyle Orland Nothing says "E3" like a guy in a Yoshi/Mario costume livestreaming himself as he balks loudly at the show floor's $6 pretzels. Kyle Orland New Wave Toys is expanding its Replicade line of authentic miniature cabinets with the likes of these two Capcom classics. Kyle Orland MyArcade is expanding from miniature cabinets to massive portable systems capable of playing actual NES and SNES cartridges. Kyle Orland MyArcade's upcoming Contra cabinet even includes link cable support for two player action. Don't you DARE touch this actual Contra cabinet in the MyArcade booth, though. Kyle Orland That being said, we attended, and Ars Technica came back from Los Angeles with plenty to show for it. In addition to a few more hands-on previews coming (which will build upon the best-of E3 2019 list we already filed), we took our cameras out at both the official E3 halls and nearby events (Xbox Fan Fest, EA Play). I gotta say, in this modern political climate, I have been calling every year "the year of doom." A very nice pencil sketch taken from the original PC game's box art. I'd never seen these minis before, but now I want to play DOOM-opoly. A better zoom on these metal beasts. Collect me plenty. Now for some impressive 3D molds of famed DOOM demons. See? It's like a museum. Funnily enough, this is my "I don't know what to do with my hands" pose when I stand for photos. The secret for awkward photo poses: turn your arms into massive rocket launchers. Way less awkward! As one of DOOM 64's longtime fans, I stood at this specific panel for a while. This might be the least-blurry these N64 sprites have ever looked. (The N64 famously smothered its sprites in a disgusting, smeary blur.) More figurines on display. More figurines on display. More swag on display. More swag on display. The result is a whopping three image galleries here. The first is a catch-all for most of the basic, expected fare, while the second and third focus on retro elements: a DOOM-specific mini-museum, and a curated collection of very rare gaming hardware and collectibles courtesy of the National Videogame Museum in Frisco, Tex. (If you've never been to that physical location before, we strongly encourage you to book a trip.) You know the retro portion of E3 is serious when they put this thing behind a rope. Truly one of a kind. Click the image to get a better look at the information placard. Yep, those are traditional Saturn controller ports. We'd never seen these Vectrex prototypes and variants before. The innards of a prototype color Vectrex system that never saw production. Kyle Orland Anybody think they can repair this thing? Yes, the only scoring cart that remains from this Super Nintendo championship event. Also, a killer Vectrex jacket. How the heck does the NVM keep finding and showing off such incredible game-history rarities? Some cool mementos from the original Mortal Kombat. The placard explains how rare this system is... ... based on this specific message signed by none other than Bill Gates. I don't care how puffy this jacket is. I'd wear it. Every year, the National Video Game Museum trots out at least one previously confidential binder taken from a major gaming company. This year's was Nintendo. I'm always fascinated by internal '80s and '90s documentation about piracy and cartridge backup systems. This section went on for a few more pages and even included grainy photos of various cartridge-copying devices. Video games: the board game! Video games: the, uh, VHS game! Well before the Game Boy revolutionized portable gaming, kids of the '70s and '80s were stuck with these clunkers. One wall was dedicated to particularly rare game consoles that launched solely in Japan. Eat your heart out, Donkey Konga. This is one of Gunpei Yokoi's classic electronic games that he designed for Nintendo in the '70s. This makes me wish Ulala was in an actual '80s cartoon. Kyle Orland In addition to popular and common fare in the coin-op section, the NVM trotted out a few machines we rarely see at classic gaming expos, like this fetching Jungle King cab. True story: we asked Double Fine studio founder and creative director Tim Schafer if he could step back for a second so we could take a photo of this handsome Omega Race cabinet. "I used to play this game all the time as a kid," he remarked before stepping away slowly. (If you're wondering, he signs his name "TIM" in high-score tables.) And we couldn't leave E3 without a walk through the almost carnival-like selection of vendors and inventions in the expo's very back hall. Look below at the show's weird "et cetera" section. Here's a gallery of E3 2019's oddest booths and products. "Wow, how nice and COOL!" we're sure you are saying to yourself. Kyle Orland Thermoreal uses superconductors (?!) to simulate a cold or hot feeling in metal. The company integrated this tech into VR-compatible gloves and a VR headset. As the VR environment changes, so does the sensation of real-life temperature. Trippy! Kyle Orland This 1,000 MaH battery pack for the Switch was heavy, but the harness made it pretty easy to slide on and off to use only when it's needed. Kyle Orland Some extremely generic-looking custom chip boards for use in mini-arcade devices and portable emulation devices. If anybody reading this has the rights to the Atari Jaguar Mini, look them up. Kyle Orland Why stream games to a smartphone with Google Stadia when the Smach Z packs an entire 1080p gaming PC with a 6" screen into a rather bulky portable package? Doom (2016) ran with noticeable judders, and the unit got noticeably hot in our test. But the fact that it works at all was impressive. Kyle Orland The Tactsuit haptic system jolts your body when playing compatible VR games and software. Kyle Orland The Vuvana system has something to do with using a new blockchain cryptocurrency to buy and "own" items in virtual reality, which you can view on a cell phone with this included viewer, apparently. Kyle Orland Oversized controllers were all the rage at E3 2019, but this one went to the trouble of building in a monitor for its game, Street Fighter 2. Kyle Orland Remember the iCade Mini? Someone sure does... Kyle Orland GameBoks is just like it sounds—a wooden box that houses a monitor, power supply, and a space to hold and connect your game console. Between this and the new Atari VCS, wood paneling is apparently the hot new retro-hardware trend. Kyle Orland Proximat is being sold as a "mousepad for your virtual reality feet." It gives VR players a physical indication of their play space's center point, complete with high-grade gel for foot comfort. Kyle Orland If this is a thing you're looking for (for some reason), E3 has you covered. Kyle Orland Amazingly, a product with "360 ONE X" in its name has nothing to do with Xbox (it's a 360 degree camera designed for VR) Kyle Orland Neither vinyl nor fidget spinners are dead at E3 2019. Kyle Orland I need some quick energy after seeing all of these amazing products. It's my lucky day! Kyle Orland How do you make money selling $100 worth of stuff for $40? It's an economic miracle! Kyle Orland This balance board is mainly meant for some easy exercise while at a standing desk, but its producers were marketing it to gamers with a Mortal Kombat 11 display. Kyle Orland And the award for "most dystopian sounding slogan at E3" goes to... Kyle Orland "In the 1989 Future" is a legitimately great tagline, we have to admit. Kyle Orland Listing image by Sam Machkovech Read More Read the full article

[my-abibliophobia]

Favorite Yu Yu Hakusho Anime Quotes.

Keiko's Friend: If you cross him he'll whistle for 2000 bad guys with guns! Keiko: Yusuke doesn't even know how to whistle!

Yusuke:(about a teacher) Doesn't this guy have a life besides tormenting kids?

Botan: So does that mean if Yusuke saves Kayko's life, Yusuke won't be able to come back? Yusuke: What's the point of coming back if Kayko's not gonna be there!?

Botan: It's called a Psychic Spy Glass. Look through it and you can see through walls, clothes, well, anything really.(Yusuke looks at her chest and Botan hits him with her oar giving him a goose egg) You must use it wisely.

Kurama: All this time we thought you were a brilliant strategist. In reality, you're really just a lucky fool. Yusuke: Hey! What's a strategist? Kurama: It's someone who uses his brain. Yusuke: Hey!

Genkai: Those who won, please follow me! Those who lost, please get lost!

(the fighters were told to introduce themselves) Kuwabara: Kazuma Kuwabara. The worst punk in Sarayashi Junior High. Yusuke: Yusuke Urameshi. The much much worser punk of Sarayashi Junior High. 

Yusuke: This is going to be pretty lame if we get killed before we reach the stupid castle! 

Kuwabara: Look, we all know I can see supernatural stuff a whole lot better than Yusuke, and I'm not just gonna sit around my house, while Urameshi doesn't see things, and lets monsters and bugs take over my town. Because I'm Kuwabara, and in case you forgot, I've got a sword! 

Hiei: Your ugly friend has a good point, detective. Kuwabara: Who's ugly?! Come here, you mouse!

Kuwabara: (about Kurama's Rose Whip) I don't like it! It smells girly!         Yusuke: I suppose he should be a real man like you and be obsessed with kittens.

Kuwabara: He's a rock Urameshi! How are we supposed to fight against a talking rock?!

Kurama: Hiei, how many times did you hit him? Hiei: Only sixteen. Yusuke: Sixteen? I only saw seven or eight. Kurama: After the first slash all I could see were flashes. Kuwabara: I didn't even see the flashes

Yusuke: Here's the deal, pull your zombies off Keiko and then I'll only pull out one of your lungs. Suzaku: And If I refuse? Yusuke: Then hold your freakin' breath!

Yusuke Urameshi: I'm so tired of getting electrocuted!

Hiei: If that happens, all we have to do is kill everyone else on the ship before we reach the island. We'll say we're the right team and no one will complain. Kuwabara: You didn't have too many friends growing up, did you? Kurama: What are you mumbling? Hiei: He's trying to talk in his sleep when he's awake. Kuwabara: Hey! What happened to that fight we were in? Hiei: Everyone's dead. Kuwabara: Oh...

Yusuke: And this is for my friend who felt sorry for them and got his ass kicked into the ground. (Punches Dr. Ichigaki) Kuwabara: Thanks for the shout out Urameshi... 

Yusuke Urameshi: Ugly people shouldn't be allowed to smile that much.

Jin: I thought I was crazy Urameshi, but you'll take the prize, the hell was that, you don't make bombs go boom in your face!                                          Yusuke: You know, one of these days I'm gonna fight someone who talks like a normal person!

Botan: I think bone cracking is a good sign to rest. Kuwabara: Yes ma'am. 

Koto: Ooh, baby. Two Tornado Fists buckled on at once, I think we've got a challenge. Yusuke: (thinking) I'll say. There's no way I can deflect both of those with my Spirit Gun. Spirit Grenade Launcher maybe, but definitely not a gun.

Yusuke: (thinking) All right Yusuke, you've tried everything else. Time to be stupid.

Kuwabara: There's only one person who calls me by my first name! Yukina: We've been very worried Kazuma, are you okay? Kuwabara: (laughs) Yeah! Yusuke: I am never gonna understand that bastard.

Yusuke: Why don't you show this young whipper snapper how it was done in the old days? Genkai: Gladly you patronizing jackass. 

Genkai: Watch it kid, I can still destroy you.   

Kuwabara: That's it! my head as a trampoline is where I draw the line

Koto: I guess the Cape of No Return is a misleading name. 

Hiei: Apparently Shishi had a lot more energy than we first gave him credit for. Kurama: Had is right. Little good it's doing him now that Genkai's claimed it.

Kurama: I can't believe he walked into that trap on his own Hiei: He's a first class fool Genkai: Agreed. A fool & a moron 

Kurama: It took all of us working as a team to make it this far. Hiei: (referring to Kuwabara) Not him! Kuwabara: I fought just as many fights as you did! Hiei: And lost them both! 

Hiei: Listen to me as closely as you can you two I'm trusting you against my better instincts only because I have no other choice. Take care of the Toguro brothers. If I wake up and we've lost I swear I'll kill you all. [faints] Yusuke Urameshi: That's Hiei for you. He faints but still makes time for threats.

Jin: If we aren't, it's no thanks at all to the drunken biggie that traded our tickets for a couple of pints.

Yusuke: (Gives a moving speech about morning Kuwabara’s death. turns around and sees he’s still alive.) Hey, why's the dead guy walkin' around? Kurama: Yes, well, I tried to inform you, but you were too engrossed in your speech.                                                                                                       Yusuke: (while beating up Kuwabara) We're in front of about a million people, including Kayko and my boss and hardcore demon fighters! And you make me say all that sissy crap! 

Kayko: (hits Yusuke) Don't even think about skipping school, Yusuke. Your mom had to do lots of convincing just to keep you from failing this year. Yusuke: Guy saves the world, still has to do algebra, makes sense. 

Genkai: If you had used that lump three feet above your butt you would've held on to your soul. (looks at Hiei) Make that two feet for you.

Genkai(about Yusuke): He may look like a dimwit, in fact, he definitely is. But he's also the Dark Tournament champ and he can fight like a genius when he knows his prey. 

Genkai: (about Doctor) If anybody finds him, make a noise we'll all hear. Either scream or blow something up!

Kurama: Koenma knows the name of our enemy. Yusuke: What?! Kurama: I've arranged a formal meeting to-Huh? (sees Yusuke is gone inside and is yelling into the phone at Koenma.) Yusuke: Earth to toddler bitch! You better cough up some answers before I put that pacifier ten inches down your throat! Kurama: (anime falls) Not quite what I had in mind...

Koenma: Precisely why I choose you after Sensui failed. I wanted someone who wouldn't think too much. Kurama: Yes, of course! Yusuke: Don't be too quick to defend me, pal! Kurama: Sorry. Ha, ha...^^;;

Yusuke to Kuwabara: "You're like an ugly singer with a good voice, best for backup!" 

Yusuke: SPIRIT GUN!!! (fires his spirit gun at the car where Sensui and the others are...notices Kuwabara is there too) Oh crap!! I forgot about Kuwabara!! Kurama: Seriously, Yusuke. How can you fire a blast that big with out thinking it will kill everyone on board...including him?! Yusuke: O.O I was mad!! 

Hiei: Harness your own power if you hope to beat him. If you take anything from our scrimmage take that. So go. Save the human world. Or don't. I don't really care. Either way I'm fine with the outcome. [Yusuke starts laughing] Hiei: What's so funny? Yusuke Urameshi: Your so full of crap! 'I don't care' You've been rooting for me. You did this to help me survive. I told everyone that you'd come back to rescue us when we needed you most you big softie, or should I say little softie. Hiei: I should have slit his throat when I had the chance.

Sensui: "They don't make spirit detectives like they used to." Yusuke: "Yeah, crazy and evil, I agree."

Sensui: It only gets crueler from here, and then the whole thing wraps up with a rather beautiful song. Yusuke: That's oddly inappropriate.

[ruffsficstuffplace]

The Keeper of the Grove (Part 38)

Penny wrapped her arms around an AFA grunt's legs and held them down, Ruby jumped on her back and used her like a step-ladder to smash her horns into their face.

Blake catapulted Weiss right over a rifleman's head. The AFA gal does the smart thing, aims for the one heading in a straight line than somersaulting through the air, but most of those shots just zip right on past where Blake was a second ago. Weiss lands feet into first into her chest, knocking her down to the ground; she steps off, Blake pounces on her, smashing her palm into her face just as she's about to raise her gun to fire, keeping her down.

A baton grunt charged to his buddy's aid, raising his weapon up high before a gloved hand attached to a black sleeve grabbed his wrist. Yang slowly shook her head at him, before she punched him in the face with her free hand.

The AFA got plenty of hits in and landed some shots, and while they certainly hurt, it was clear they were losing, and losing fast.

From inside her rover, the Captain got back on the loudspeaker. “Regroup! Regroup!”

What remained of the Alpha Squad broke off and ran for the rovers, the last rifleman putting their back to the wall of vehicles, two baton-wielders covering their sides, and a big gal with an even bigger shield up front.

The Rangers reformed behind Ruby, a diamond with Penny in the center. She glowed and blasted out some much needed healing goodness, made it a lot easier for all of them to stand and look badass.

Without a field medic of their own, the AFA could only have their lead grunt bash her shield and hurl insults at them as their shooter reloaded.

From inside the Core, Eluna smiled.

From his office in Candela, Jacques scowled.

Ruby looked back at the others, started whispering, “I'll distract shield girl; Yang, get left; Blake, get right; Weiss and Penny, team-up and take out the shooter. Then: finisher.

“Ready?”

The others nodded. “Ready.”

Ruby let out a war cry, everyone around her suddenly glowing with red auras that told their enemies they were in for a very bad time.

They charged!

Crash!

The shield grunt blocked Ruby's horns, got in a few quick bashes with her baton as she held her back.

Blake and Yang rushed the troops on her side, put them down for the count with a 3-part-combo, or a much less graceful but still effective punch to the gut before a bash over the head.

The way now clear, Penny and Weiss both rushed up Ruby's back, launched off the shield grunt's helmet, and landed at either side of the rifleman still trying to decide which ranger to shoot first. With two kicks into both sides of their chest, they solved that problem for them.

The last grunt pushed Ruby off of her, smashed her shield in the side of the face and sent her staggering back.

She grins, up until she notices that she's surrounded.

Ruby recovers and shakes her head. “Need a quick tutorial about how the finishing move works, Weiss?”

“Nah,” Weiss says as she and the others get into their poses, one after the other. “I think I've got it.”

Ruby grins. “Awesome.”

The Rangers glow with power once more, auras of animals surrounding them: a Sapphire Fox, a Citrine Cat, an Onyx Bear, and an Emerald Mouse. They shoot up into the sky, twisting together before they curve downa and make a beeline into Ruby.

Glowing with all five of their colours now, she crouches low and leaps into the air, tilting her head back as the aura of the Ruby Reindeer above her does the same.

Then, they both turn their horns down, the other animals grin and bare their teeth.

The shield grunt's eyes widen, and she raises her shield and braces herself for a world of hurt.

“WRATH OF THE WILD!”

The night turns into day straight out of a really good drug trip. The AFA grunts on site shield their eyes, Jacques yells as he's blinded, Eluna smiles as she had already put on her extra-dark shades. When the multi-coloured smoke clears, there is one VERY down and out AFA grunt laying on the ground, just like the rest of the Alpha Squad.

Yang chuckled as she turned to the lead rover. “You going to tell your boss to write this off as another loss, or what?”

The Captain popped her head out to scowl at the Rangers. “Not yet.” She activated her comm-crystal. “Mr. Schnee, permission to deploy the BADAAS!”

“Permission granted, Captain,”  they hear through the speakers.

Weiss frowned. “The BADAAS...?”

“The Big-Ass Defense And Assault Suit,” Penny explained. “It's an acronym for the magitechnology developed from the Shepherd Suit MK II, after the MK III made it largely obsolete.”

“That is one of the stupidest names for military gear that I have ever heard in my entire life!” Weiss cried. “What does a BADAAS even look like?”

The ground began to rumble. Soldiers in the other rovers drove off to make room as the Captain's ride began to transform, protective plating shifting and reforming around arms, legs, and a torso, revealing much more serious firepower than your standard AFA rover is equipped with—things like an energy lance, a minigun, and even a grenade launcher turret up top.

“Like this,” the Captain said.

“… Oh...”

The Captain raised the minigun up at the Rangers.

Whirr…!

Qrow's Commands:

Defeat The Captain with A Finishing Move

Don't get hit by her Sticky Bombs.

Freeze.

Weiss turned to the others. “We have weapons, right? Because one, there is no realistic way we're punching, kicking, and headbutting that thing to death, and two, if we can, that'll seriously break my suspension of disbelief.”

Ruby nodded. “Yep, we do! I've got a scythe!” she said, her rune glowing, before turning into a scythe that probably had way more moving parts than was strictly necessary.

<I've got my breakneck,> Blake said as hers turned into a yellow, fancier version of her usual gear—hey, if it works, right?

“I have two swords that can be easily reconfigured into a bow or a claw,” Penny said as hers split into two beams of light, and turned into twin blades. “I used to have more, until I realized that was too 'OP,' and demeans the Rune Rangers' theme of requiring teamwork and coordination to take down foes too powerful for an individual.”

“And I've got my bear hands!” Yang said, smashing her fists together as her rune turned into twin gauntlets.

Weiss scowled at her. You couldn't see into the visors of their helmets, but you could just tell.

She pulled out her rune, found herself holding a weaver's staff. Realistically speaking, something like this would be no better than a regular staff if you don't have the Gift, but since the Sapphire Rangers are always the ones with all the cool magitech or the really obvious mystic powers, let's just assume you do, princess.

“Is there a version of it that's more sword-like?”

Boom. Runeblade, with an unlimited supply of all four of the Elemental Essences, to be combined however you damn well please. You want me to throw in a Spellslinger so you can make like your grandpa and go stab and shoot things?

Weiss tested the revolver, watched the blade catch fire, freeze over and with water flowing in the ice, crackle with electricity and miniature gusts of wind, then get a metallic sheen with clouds of dust all around.

“I'm good,” she said as she turned it back to normal.

Want a primer on what you can do with the power of the elements at your fingertips?

“I think a hands-on lesson will suit me much better,” Weiss purred. “Hey girls? You mind if we rewind to just before she points that gun at us?”

“Sure,” Yang said, “but this idea of yours better be cool!”

Weiss winced. “… And I find myself actually sorry to say that it will be...”

Rewind. Unfreeze.

“Like this,” the Captain said.

She raised the minigun up at the Rangers, they readied their weapons.

Whirr…!

Weiss turned the revolver to Water, stabbed her sword into ground.

A giant block of ice rose up in front of the Rangers, just in time to block the near-solid line of supercharged-lead flying at them.

“What the hell?!” the Captain yelled as she stopped firing.

The ice wall shattered, icicles and frozen bullets raining to the ground.

“Spread out, and keep moving!” Ruby yelled. “She can't hit us as easily if we do!”

“That's what you think!” the Captain snarled as she readied her grenade launcher.

Thoom. Thoom. Thoom.

Sticky bombs landed all over the field, flashing bright red with a handy circle around them showing just where you don't want to be when they go off. The rangers hot-hoof it around them, until Yang just happens to step on one of them just after it landed.

“Oh, MOTHERFU--!”

Boom.

Thanks to the power of CENSORSHIP!, she goes flying off instead of turning into a black-and-pink mist.

“YANG!” Ruby yells as she and Penny run to pick her up.

The Captain sees the opportunity, points her energy lance at them. The sides of it begin to light up, ending in a big ball of crackling, concentrated magic that's only getting even bigger.

Might want to do something about that, kiddos, just saying.

Lightning pours out of Weiss' sword and into the BADAAS. Inside the cockpit, all the fancy holos and magitechnical systems malfunction, flashing red and spitting out error messages like crazy. The energy lance fires off at half-charge, Ruby, Penny, and Yang duck as the shot just grazes their helmets before blowing up a patch of bedrock behind them.

“Stop screwing with my mech!” the Captain yells as her mech makes like a break-dancer on three cans of Sgt. Pick-U-Up having a seizure.

“Then stop screwing with the Valley!” Weiss yells back through gritted teeth, trying to hold her sword steady with both hands.

“Blake!” Ruby yells as she Penny heal Yang and pull her ass back up. “Get the grenade launcher!”

<Already on it!> Blake cried as she fired her breakneck's hook on the base. She pounces into the air, flips the gears in reverse, and goes zipping upwards.

Schwing!

You can see the ghost of her swing in the air for a moment, before the grenade launcher starts to jerk and fizz.

The Captain yells as she smashes a Big Red Button.

All lights in the BADAAS go off, except for the chest which is only growing brighter and brighter...

Ruby and Penny get Yang haul ass to behind the rovers. Weiss stops shooting sparks out of her sword, makes a line of ice heading straight for Blake, and starts skating on it. Blake lands on her feet, slips and lands on her ass, wonders what the hell was that all about, until she notices the way everything's gotten so bright all of a sudden.

Weiss grabs her by the arm as she zooms on past.

The BADAAS' EMP goes off.

Weiss and Blake go skidding and rolling on hard, unforgiving ground after her sword suddenly stops making ice, the chambers in the revolver go dim.

The Captain catches her breath as she reboots her mech. “That was a very good effort, I'll admit...” she says in between pants.

She turns to where Weiss and Blake are just picking themselves up, the tank treads and the boosters in her mech's legs engage.

“… But not good enough!”

The BADAAS comes screaming towards them, faster than anything that big should be able to move.

Blake and Weiss did the smart thing and jumped in opposite directions, to the sides of the thing charging towards them.

Penny climbed up the side of the rover she was hiding behind, helped Ruby and Yang up to the roof.

The Captain missed, disengaged the turbo, spun around, and aimed at the one she could take out without getting shit from her boss:

Blake.

Everything went into slow-mo.

Blake turned around, eyes widening and ears pulling flat as the BADAAS came for her, too close to dodge this time.

Yang picked Penny up, aimed, and threw her straight her at Blake, before she repositioned, picked up Ruby, and threw her at the mech.

Everything began to go back to normal speed.

Penny slammed into Blake, getting her out of the way of just a second before she got turned into kitty paste—or sent flying off against all laws of physics, I guess.

The Captain gritted her teeth, leaning forward up until a scythe head came ripping right through the hull, the tip of it coming within an inch of her face.

Ruby lost her grip on the handle from the inertia, flew off between BADAAS' legs, rolling on the ground until she finally stopped near Weiss.

Yang saw the mech coming straight for her and the line of rovers, turbo still engaged; she jumped off and hauled ass to the others.

The poor saps hiding inside them hung onto their asses.

The sound of screeching metal and suspension screaming for mercy filled the air as the rovers flew and flipped around like the toy cars of a two-year old having a tantrum. The BADAAS' screeched to a halt, but the scythe was still stuck in its hull.

The Captain tried to get it off with the mech's arms, only ended up driving it deeper as the minigun and lance acted like paddles. “AGH!” she yelled as she tried to push it out from the inside. “WHO THE FUCK DIDN'T THINK OF GIVING THIS THING CLAWS FOR GRABBING?”

Back at Candela, Jacques glared at Dr. Nefarious over to the side.

The not-so-good doctor just chuckled nervously, giving him a sheepish smile that was missing several teeth.

The Rangers regrouped, watched the BADAAS struggle with its new ornament.

“What's the plan, Rubes?” Yang as she ran up.

Ruby smiled. “We go all out on the Captain while she's distracted, and end this with a finishing move.”

Yang grinned. “Sounds good to me.”

They readied their remaining weapons and were about to start running, when Weiss sword suddenly sparked back to life.

“Can I use my elemental fire like a rocket?” she asked as she turned the revolver.

Penny nodded. “Yes. Yes you can.”

Yang grinned as they got ready. “Great news, passengers: Air Xiao Long is happy to inform you that we've entered into a partnership with Schnee Aeronautics! Our first joint trip is boarding now...”

Inside the BADAAS, the Captain kicked at the blunt side of the scythe with her boot, until the holos started to flash once more.

“Warning: Incoming Missile Detected.”

The Captain dropped back into her seat and ducked below the scythe. “Give me a visual!”

Yang was grinning as she headed up the five-Ranger-rocket, her fist already cocked.

The Captain couldn't see into visors of her helmet, but she could just tell.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Supernatural: Who We Are/All Along the Watchtower (12x22/23)

Uhhhhhhhhh okay. I remember last season's finale was a big ol' anticlimax, although it did set up some potentially interesting ideas. This season finale was... is... I mean... not an anticlimax, let's just say that. Yikes. I'm going to review both episodes in this same post, but I'm going to break it up into sections.

Who We Are

Cons:

I know I complained about this in last week's review, but it bears repeating: Sam and Dean being trapped in the bunker really doesn't make sense. We didn't get any explanation here as to why Ketch thought that was a good idea. Like. What. Of course they got out. They just blew up a small part of the bunker, and they were free and clear. Oy. This felt like a bit of a wasted opportunity, also, in the sense that it took all of ten minutes for Sam, Dean, and Toni to escape from their near-death. There could have been more material with this, if they were going to go this route.

Toni agrees to help Dean try and un-brainwash Mary, but only with the promise from Dean that he'll let her get a head start so she can try and escape. Cool. Unfortunately, while Mary and Dean are both unconscious and hanging out in Mary's brain somehow, Ketch shows up and kills Toni. We don't actually get to see it happen, we just see Dean waking up and he notices Toni lying there with her throat slit. All of the baggage that they built up with Ketch and Toni... leads to nothing. I feel like this should have been a bigger moment somehow.

Pros:

For practically every season of this show up until now, I feel like the brothers have had to take turns being the myth-arc lead. Being the one who has to do the awesome thing to save the world at the end. The last two seasons have been Dean, Seasons Five and Eight were obviously Sam... you get what I mean. This year, Sam and Dean both had different quests, and they both pulled out major victories, sharing in the glory of winning the day. It was so refreshing to have Sam lead a battle, while Dean tapped in to his emotions to free his mother. Neither task felt more important than the other, and both were done with great pacing and care.

The opening scene where Sam, Dean, and Toni work to break out of the bunker was pretty cool. The way that this premise came about was obviously stupid, but whatever. I like how Sam had a solution that involved magic, and then when that didn't work, Dean came up with using sledgehammers, and then when that didn't work... the grenade launcher. The fact that they've been planting that all season is just so hilarious to me. Chekhov's grenade launcher. I love that Dean got a chance to finally do what he's been wanting to do since he laid eyes on that thing. So great. We also got a lovely little brother moment, where they despair at their lives ending in such a way. They always thought they'd go out in a blaze of glory. Dean laments the fact that recently, he thought they had it all. Cas, Mom, each other... and now it's all gone. This was a good way to establish their despair, so that the victories they achieved later in the episode had greater weight.

Once they escape from the bunker, they get a call from Jody. Their mother showed up to kill her. Luckily, Jody, with an assist from Alex, managed to subdue her and tie her up. God, I love Jody. I didn't think they'd be stupid enough to kill her, but after what went down last week with Eileen, I figured anything was possible. It was so great to see Jody and Alex, and we even got a mention of Donna (although, hey, where the heck was Claire during all of this?). The famous "kick it in the ass" line is said by Alex to Jody, as she wishes her adoptive mother well on her quest. Even better, Jody's presence in the episode is more than just a cameo. Here, we get to the part where Sam and Dean each have their own tasks to complete.

Sam rallies a group of hunters to take down the British Men of Letters, giving a rousing speech about how the American hunters are in the right. They know to follow their guts, and that hunting is more than just killing. This is a great moment of leadership for Sam. He falters a bit at the beginning, but then gives a speech worthy of Buffy Summers. I love all the callbacks here. We see earlier Dean on the phone with Garth, we get Walt and Roy showing up to help in the assault... apparently there are no hard feelings for the whole murder thing.

Sam and Dean have another emotional moment, when Dean says that due to his leg injury from the grenade launcher, he's not going to go with Sam and the others to take out the British. He'll stay behind and try to save Mary. The brothers share a hug, with Dean telling Sam to come back, and Sam promising that he will. They exchange a Winchester I love you: "Bitch." "Jerk." I love this moment because it encompasses so many things about their relationship. Dean knows Sam can handle this on his own, and so he takes a step back. He trusts Sam to do it right, and that's something Dean has had a really hard time with over the years. There's also the fact that this whole British Men of Letters plot started with Sam getting shot and tortured by them. It's very satisfying to me that in the end, Sam gets to be the one to lead the strike on their headquarters.

And it's a pretty bad-ass take-down, I gotta say. Some of the hunters do indeed fall on the assault, but the remaining ones manage to breach all the way through to Madame Hess, who tries to stop Sam from killing her by saying that he'll need the British Men of Letters to help take down Lucifer. Sam is shocked to hear that Lucifer has escaped, and that Crowley is apparently dead, but after only a moment's hesitation, he declines the offer to keep working for these lunatics. Hess reaches for her gun, but before she can do anything, Jody shoots Hess in the head, dropping her instantly. So. Cool. I'm glad Jody got to take the shot, since it shows just what an awesome hunter she truly is.

Meanwhile, Dean gets Toni's help hooking himself up to Mary's brain to try and break through her conditioning. The way they do this is just brilliant. Dean shows up in his childhood home. He sees baby Sammy, he sees himself as a toddler. And he sees Mary taking care of them. Dean talks to her, but she doesn't react. Dean eventually discovers that Mary is choosing not to acknowledge him or respond to him, so he forces her to acknowledge him by giving her this amazing speech. He tells her: "I hate you." He blames the entire messy life he and Sam have lived on the fact that Mary made that deal with Azazel all those years ago. He had to be a father and a mother to Sam in order to keep his little brother safe, and that wasn't fair. Eventually, however, he says that while he hates her... he also loves her. He can't help it. And he forgives her, because he's made deals to save the people he loves. He knows what that's like. He begs her to see him, to turn around and really look at him. They can start over. They can move past this and be a family again. Mary does seem to acknowledge Dean. They are then both pulled out of their connection by Ketch's arrival, and just as Ketch is about to kill Dean, Mary shoots and kills Ketch instead. Yes!

What's so brilliant about Dean's speech is that it's the buildup of his emotions during this whole season, and yet I don't think any of us really understood how he was feeling until this moment. His whole life, he felt abandoned by Mary. And knowing that she had been responsible in some way for her own death made it that much harder. And then Mary has miraculously returned, and what's the first thing she does? She leaves them again. This speech was also amazing because it mirrors what Mary must be feeling about herself. This is why she stayed away. She wanted to help, but she didn't want to be around Sam and Dean. She was just so ashamed of what she had done to them. Jensen Ackles knocked it out of the park in these scenes. Great acting. Great emotion. A+ resolution to the Mary Winchester story-arc of the season.

And things get even more lovely from there. Sam shows up as Dean and Mary are talking about moving forward as a family. Mary is worried that Sam won't be able to forgive her, but Sam quickly assuages that fear and pulls her into a hug. Dean, relieved and proud that Sam is back, goes in for a hug as well, and the three of them stand there in the bunker in a group hug. My heart exploded.

Ultimately, the first half of this finale was a better episode than the second. It may have been less of a finale, in that it didn't end on a giant cliffhanger, but it was good because it gave agency to Sam and Dean in a way that they've been missing for most of the season. They worked together, they worked separately, they both succeeded in their missions and came together at the end victorious. It was exactly what we needed to see before jumping in to a second hour, where things were ripped from their grasp quite firmly once again.

All Along the Watchtower

Cons:

I'll start with the smaller complaints before getting to the biggie. Another off-screen death of a recurring female character. Rowena is apparently no more, and judging by the charred remains, I'd say this one's going to stick. I feel like killing Rowena was pretty unnecessary, but more than that, it sucks that we don't even get to see her put up a fight first. Just like Ketch and Toni had all of this relationship drama that we didn't get to see play out, here we have Lucifer and Rowena, another fraught sort of partnership, and we don't get to see that resolve. Feels like a wasted opportunity.

I kept waiting to understand Crowley's motivation for keeping Lucifer out of the cage, and I feel like we never really got it. Sure, Crowley talked about how Lucifer humiliated him or whatever, and there was a nice moment where we learn that Crowley hates his job, as if we didn't already know that... but at the end of the day, Crowley came across as a total dumb-ass for not being able to handle the Lucifer situation.

Kelly never really solidified for me as a character. She spends the episode lamenting the fact that she'll die never getting to be a proper mother for her child, who she has named Jack. She paints his room, builds him a crib, makes him a video where she tells him she loves him... I get the sense that I'm supposed to be moved by all of this. Cas and Kelly have this relationship where it seems like Cas is really coming to care for this woman who is inevitably going to die. All of it feels lacking, somehow. I can't make myself care about Kelly, and I can't make myself care about Cas caring about her.

The episode ends with Sam running in to the room to see that Kelly is dead, sort of as an afterthought. He then follows some weird burning footprints up to the baby's room, where he sees a fully grown man with strange glowing eyes sitting in the corner. I'm not sure if I'm all that thrilled with another baby-turned-insta-adult. Didn't we just do that with Amara? Sigh. I'm trying to reserve judgment until I see what they do with this guy next year, but... c'mon, guys.

Supernatural is a show with many weaknesses, and one of those weaknesses is how it treats death. Let's just... talk about that for a second, here. I think for the most part, the characters who died in this episode are going to stay dead. Kelly is out. Rowena, probably out. Even Crowley... I think that actually may have been the end for him, and it was a good one. But Cas? I don't know if he's dead-dead, or just dead-for-now. And that's a problem. Am I supposed to be shocked and crushed that Cas has been killed? He's died several times on this show already, and he's always popped back up when the story wanted him there again. So there's a paradox, right? Because if I'm not supposed to believe that he's really gone, and he is really gone, then that death moment wasn't big enough to be a sendoff. And if he's not really gone, then I won't be surprised, and the effect of the moment itself doesn't work. I want Cas to be alive. Very badly. And if they do kill his character off permanently, I'm going to want something a lot better than what we got here.

Because, yeah, this is another thing - Why did Cas even bother going in to the alternate universe in the first place? Sam, Dean, and Crowley had this plan to seal Lucifer away in an alternate plane, and it looks like it would have worked. But at the last second, Cas comes storming in to pointlessly stab Lucifer. He comes back into our world through the rift, everybody smiles for half a second, and then Lucifer shows up again through the rift and stabs Cas, killing him. What was Cas doing? Why on earth would he have thought that a puny little angel blade was going to do anything against Lucifer? His motivations were totally unclear and completely stupid. I hate the idea of Cas dying because he made another bad decision. That seems to be the pattern. Cas does something dumb, it goes poorly, and everybody pays a price for it. If this show kills off Castiel, then it has got to be a lot more meaningful and epic than what I just witnessed.

Pros:

In the first half of the finale, Sam and Dean were able to take real initiative and be agents in the story for the first time in a while. In the second half, they were back to reacting to everything. Oddly, it worked perfectly. After an hour of triumphs, of defeating a season-long foe and getting the family back together, Sam and Dean watched as everything crumbled around them. They had a plan. They nearly executed the plan. And then they lost Crowley, a long-time ally, Cas, their dearest friend, and Mary, their only recently restored mother, all in the span of minutes. Frankly, it was chilling how much they went through in such a short amount of time. Having them be so helpless in all of this was a great way to set things up for next season. To have peace and victory so very close, and then have it all ripped away... ouch, ouch, ouch.

As I said, Kelly never did much for me as a character. However, I did like the moment when Mary and Kelly are sitting together while Kelly is in labor. It gives us a chance to see the bond of motherhood. Kelly is scared, but at peace with her death, as she is willing to die for her son. Mary knows what that feels like.

So, the real wrench in the proceedings comes into play as we introduce an alternate realty. Somehow, the unborn nephilim creates a portal that Cas goes through into an alternate post-apocalyptic wasteland. Cas later brings Sam and Dean in, and they meet an alternate version of Bobby, one who doesn't recognize them. Turns out, this is a world where Sam and Dean were never born, and they therefore didn't save the world. Sam, Dean, and Crowley quite cleverly perceive that this would be a way to trap Lucifer away from their world, as what Lucifer is after has already happened on this alternate plane. What I love about this is the possibilities it brings for the future. If Jack the nephilim has the power to open a portal to another dimension, could he do it again? Are there infinite dimensions? Could this be a way of bringing back virtually every character that has ever died on this show? If so, yes please. I remember when we were first introduced to the Darkness. I was hoping that we'd end up in a post-apocalyptic world for the next season, and really force things to the next level. That didn't happen. But maybe this time it will. Maybe this time we'll actually spend some significant time interacting with realms different from the original one. That could be really fascinating.

Also, Bobby. Just... Bobby. I'm so glad he showed up. He was as ornery and delightful as always, and his gun was named Rufus. Please let him reappear next season. Please.

Before we get to the serious stuff, a brief break to talk about my favorite comedic moments of the episode. We get a mention of "The French Mistake," the crazy world where Sam and Dean were actors, and as Dean remembers and says to Sam "you were Polish." Their line delivery was just great. Also, lots of funny moments with Crowley. When he first shows up, Dean just immediately punches him and is about to kill him, when Sam stops Dean, a bit half-heartedly. Dean and Mary both say "seriously?" Later, as Dean is despairing in the craziness of their situation, he says: "I don't even know where to start," and then suddenly Crowley just appears out of nowhere, and Dean says "Oh, come on!" Another great line read from Jensen. Humor is always very important to lighten the mood when it comes to such serious episodes.

Before all this shit goes down, Dean has a line where he says: "I have faith in us. You, me, mom, Cas, and... Crowley. Sometimes." This line is all the more depressing when you realize that Sam and Dean are about to lose all three of the other people that Dean just listed.

Cas. God, Cas. I wasn't thrilled with all the stuff with him and Kelly in this one, but I still really do love him. I love the fact that Cas and Dean basically act like lovers in the middle of a fight who are both trying to stow their crap to get on with more important things. Cas heals Dean's leg sort of off-hand, and Dean says that they'll work out their problems, just like they always do. It's lines like these that make Cas' death all the more difficult to bear. Setting aside my own hangups about this death, I did really appreciate Dean's reaction to it. Just... dead inside. Just... drops to his knees and doesn't even know how to keep going on. Again, we contrast Sam and Dean in their behavior with Cas. When Cas rushes through the portal to attack Lucifer, Dean is the one who shouts Cas' name and tries to run forward, while Sam pulls his brother back to the portal and to safety. After Cas dies, we have Sam, who looks terribly sad but then rushes off to figure out what happened inside the house with Kelly, and then we have Dean, who doesn't even make a move to follow Sam inside. He just stares at Cas and drops to his knees. This just breaks my heart.

Mary gets to punch Lucifer in the face with brass knuckles, and it's super awesome. She also gets trapped in an apocalyptic wasteland, which is less awesome. But does this mean we get to see Mary and Bobby team up in an alternate reality next season? That would just be everything I never knew I needed. Honestly. I don't have much to say about Mary in this second episode. She's amazing, and I hope that now that all her insecurities are behind her, she can come out the other side of this whole apocalypse thing a stronger person than ever.

Crowley. I love Crowley so much, but I really do hope that this is the end for his character. Because if so? Amazing. So amazing. To start off with, he goes to the Winchesters for help in defeating Lucifer, because he knows that he can count on them above all others. And then he ends this episode by killing himself to protect the world from Lucifer. Or, probably more accurately, to screw Lucifer over in his own personal vendetta. But do you know what? It's still a noble sacrifice! Earlier in the episode, he promised Sam and Dean a reward if they helped him stop Lucifer: he'd close the gates of Hell, meaning none of them would ever have to deal with another demon again, other than Crowley himself. He has realized that he hates his job. He's spent so long fighting to keep power that he forgot to notice how much he actually hated having it. I couldn't imagine a better resolution to this character we've known for so long. I've been saying for seasons and seasons now that Crowley should either become the final big bad, or die heroically in the quest to stop the final big bad, throwing in a last-minute redemption as he exits. And that's what this was. His final words are to say goodbye to Sam and Dean, which just... rip my heart out, why don't you? I know I'm supposed to be more emotionally connected to Cas' death, but it was Crowley's that tugged at my heartstrings. This truly feels like a fitting end to his character.

So... uh... yeah. Let's do a little death tally on these two episodes, shall we? How about just named recurring characters?

Toni Ketch Hess Rowena Kelly Crowley Castiel

Yikes? Especially yikes to Crowley and Cas, obviously. I've complained above about the impermanence of death in Supernatural. But even keeping that in mind, killing off two main characters in a single episode is very ballsy, especially with a show like this one, where the cast is so very teeny tiny to begin with. It's a risk that I really appreciated, and as I discussed above, I actually do hope that this is the end for Crowley. It would be such a fitting way for him to go. For Cas, I'm less convinced. I don't like the idea of him dying because he made yet another ill-advised move. It happened too quickly, and I think we all deserve a lot more out of the departure of this show's main non-Winchester character. Obviously, Sam and Dean will do what they can do to get Mary back. But what about Cas? I'm trying not to freak out, since I have to assume they can bring him back... Gosh, I don't know. I guess I'll leave it at that.

I'm glad we're getting a Season Thirteen. I'm not sure that Supernatural has actually been a good show in a very long time, but it's a show I take great comfort in. I still feel really connected to the characters and what happens to them. I'll be with this show til the bitter end, whenever that may be.

9/10