#getting to the point where traveling to 5 countries on 2 continents over the course of slightly less than a month

[bluesidedown]

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[pillage-and-lute]

Thicker Than Water (Part 4)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 (here) Part 5, Part 6, Part 7,  Part 8

Ao3 link HERE

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He awoke sore and badly rested, tears dried on his face.

Jaskier made it through the next day. He ate a little of the food Ciri offered him, only because when he tried to decline the first time her eyes got large and her bottom lip showed just the barest hint of a tremble. He couldn’t bear it. The dry horse bread that was usual for traveling rations crumbled in his mouth. He was so hungry, it was one of the best things he’d ever tasted. 

Jaskier couldn’t bring himself to even unsling his lute from his shoulder during their trek. His fingers itched to play, of course. He continued his story for Ciri and in his mind he played music for the background, he just couldn’t do it. He wouldn’t sell his lute in this next town, but before they reached Kaer Morhen he would have to. It would give them money, and he wouldn’t be a burden. He swallowed down the lump in his throat and continued telling Ciri the story. 

He noticed a bit before mid day that Geralt was watching him. That wasn’t out of sorts, of course. Yennefer and Ciri were watching him too, he was an excellent storyteller and the tale was enthralling. Geralt didn’t seem to be paying attention to the story though. He was staring-- glowering--brow low and furrowed, at Jaskier. 

Jaskier felt hurt lance through him and he almost staggered, avoiding Geralt’s gaze. He knew Geralt didn’t want him along, didn’t want him at all, but he couldn’t even pretend? He couldn’t go back to their relationship before? Not the warm, almost companionable silences that had been nurtured between them, but the grunts and stone faced silence of the beginning of their acquaintance.  

Jaskier breathed through the pain in his chest. Twenty years of silences, all kinds of them, stony and friendly and sleepy and painful and quietly nice. But they were back to the beginning, or worse, Geralt angry and Jaskier’s voice filling in places it didn’t belong.

“Jaskier?”

That was Ciri, and Jaskier realized that he’d actually trailed off mid-sentence. 

“Sorry little highness,” he smiled and gave a funny little bow. “I’m but a simple entertainer, a poet and a fool, sometimes my mind runs away from me.”

“Fool is right,” Yennefer snorted. It wasn’t totally unkind, but it still stung. It stung even more when Geralt, so taciturn all day, snorted with laughter at her comment. Jaskier felt his ears burn and his chest ache.

“Now, where was I?”

“The king’s son met the North Wind,” Ciri said, matching Jaskier’s steps. “And he has to beat him in a game of wit to gain knowledge of where the sorcerer’s daughter was taken, that’s what you said, but you didn’t tell us what game yet.”

At least someone treasured his words, Jaskier thought. Although they weren’t worth much, he threw one out after the other. 

Like garbage, whispered the back of his mind.

“Ah yes,” he said instead. “the North Wind sat before the king’s son, and laid out a chess set made of ice and wind.”

“How can chess pieces be made of wind?”

Jaskier smiled, Ciri asked questions at all the right places. “The North Wind wanders, he goes everywhere, blowing cold breath across The Continent. When the North Wind is present and we breath our breath can be seen.” Jaskier smiled here and added an aside, “My little sister used to call it dragon smoke. But by the same magic that gives the North Wind a body to walk the world, he can take our frozen breath and turn it cold and solid as glass.”

Jaskier let himself tell the story on autopilot. His feet ached. He’d been darning the socks he was wearing for a year or more, but he wasn’t good at it and the lumps were rubbing his toes raw. Worse than that, the soles of his boots were almost worn through. Just one more thing he’d have to buy.

He felt ashamed of himself. His boots had been going thin for a while, and instead of saving his coin and getting them repaired or just buying new ones, he’d drowned himself in drink, feeling sorry. Oh, he hadn’t known he would be making a trip up a mountain, but he needed boots regardless. No wonder Geralt had always been upset with him, he always put pleasure over sense, couldn’t even spend coin sensibly.

Couldn’t darn socks, couldn’t budget his coin, couldn’t shut up. A fool.

He stumbled on a tree root and nearly swore. Couldn’t even walk right. One of the blisters building on his foot had burst, he was sure. It was easy to tell, the pain had gone from a rubbing ache to stinging and warm. Only years of practice and performance kept him from interrupting the story.

Something must have shown on his face though, or his scent changed or whatever because Geralt was staring at him intently. That face, always so unreadable. 

Jaskier wasn’t going to give him anything else to scowl about. He kept walking, keeping the story rolling and his voice light. His bones ached. He had to stop for just a moment when a button, long past hanging loosely on his doublet, finally pulled free. He picked it up and the head rush nearly took him to the ground. He’d eaten little, slept poorly, and the only food he’d had in a long time before this was ale. He blinked the grey from his vision, trying not to let the panic show when it didn’t go away as quickly as he’d have liked.

It was okay. It was all going to be okay. They’d make it to the village by nightfall. They wouldn’t sleep there of course but he could get proper food. Maybe even slip away and catch a quick nap in a stable or hayloft or something. His whole body was buzzing with a sort of exhausted energy and his heart was pounding.

Jaskier reflected that he hadn’t been well before meeting up with Geralt and his little family. He’d been sick with drink and heartache and had not enough food then too. 

Smile through the pain.

This wasn’t even bad as performances could go. Once he’d actually broken a finger just before a set at Oxenfurt. Simple clumsiness, he’d closed his index finger in a door, but he’d played his whole set, with a perfect score from his professor.

It grew darker, the sun just setting when they reached a field at the edge of the town. It was a large open field and, in warmer months, it was likely home to fairs and large market days. Probably in these rural areas people traveled for a week to bring their goods and livestock to this town. It didn’t matter now, mid autumn settling into late autumn. To Jaskier the town was nameless. 

They set up camp in the field. It left them exposed to being seen, but they hid themselves behind a small rise on the edge of the field, blocking them mostly from sight. Still, Geralt seemed on edge. Jaskier wasn’t sure it was about the camp. Geralt kept looking over at him with his eyebrows pressed together. Whenever he did that it formed this little crease right between his brows that Jaskier wanted to kiss away.

Jaskier bit his lip, hard, to focus on anything other than that.

The three of them sat, too tired to talk much more. Jaskier had finished most of the story and decided to leave the rest for the next day they were traveling a lot, to give Ciri something else to think about. She was definitely Calanthe’s blood. They traveled all day and she never complained, but also told them when she needed to stop, advocating for herself in no uncertain terms. It was the princess herself who interrupted his thoughts.

“You said you had a sister, do you have lots of siblings?”

“Not really,” Jaskier said, settling down on the ground and feeling his bones pop. His blisters were definitely bleeding inside his boots too. “Two older brothers, Henrik and Teodor, and I had a younger sister, Lotte.”

“Had?”

“She was sickly, always too small for her age,” Jaskier said quietly. “I learned the lute for her, at first. She liked music and was often bedridden. A fever took her when she was about your age.” Jaskier looked down at his battered boots. 

“I’m sorry,” Ciri whispered. 

“It’s allright little highness, it’s been almost thirty years now. Time flies.”

“I didn’t know you had siblings,” Geralt said. It was growly, but Geralt always used that tone.

“You never really asked.”

Dinner was a quiet affair. Jaskier ate the last of the rations in his pack, waving away Ciri’s offerings and showing her his food as proof that he had some. It didn’t really settle the hunger that had been eating him from the inside out all day, but at this point he figured he could eat a mountain and still have room for dessert.

“Tomorrow,” Geralt said gruffly once dinner was cleared away. “We don’t all enter the town as a group. Yen and Ciri go together. I go alone. Jaskier goes alone.”

Jaskier nodded, so did Ciri and Yennefer.

“If we see eachother, act as though we don’t know eachother,” Geralt said, then he turned his gaze on Jaskier. “Don’t attract too much attention.”

Jaskier bristled at getting his own private reprimand. “I’m a bard, Geralt,” he said. “How am I supposed to earn coin if I don’t play.”

Geralt grunted. “I didn’t say don’t play just no... don’t do the whole...” he gestured a vauge hand. 

“The whole...me?” Jaskier said sarcastically. He was pulling at the lion’s tail he knew, but he was in pain and tired and hungry and Geralt had no right to be so cruel.

“The whole bright colors, loud and annoying thing. Country bard, not court bard, got it?”

Loud and annoying.

“Got it,” Jaskier said, looking back down at his boots. He didn’t say that none of his clothes could have passed for courtly anymore anyway. 

They set about getting ready for bed. Ciri gave him a quick hug before she and Yennefer disappeared into their magical tent. Jaskier sat and pulled off his boots, not letting a single flicker of pain show on his face. He knew Geralt would be able to smell blood, but Geralt had gone to get water from the nearby river. He had to peel his socks off and yes, there was blood there, by now stuck into the threadbare fabric. He let himself wince then. He rinsed off the wounds but he was without bandages, so he just dried off the area and put his other pair of socks on. He only had the two pairs anyway, but at least the blisters would stay dry. 

He rolled himself into his bedroll and thought of tomorrow. At least there were no tree roots here.

The next day dawned slowly, instead of bright pinks and oranges it was a kind of runny yellow that just leeched into the sky before fading into early morning blue. Jaskier watched in admiration as Yennefer changed Geralt’s hair to short and dark, and then gave herself brown eyes and a slightly different bone structure. To look at both of them was odd, because Jaskier could see the similarities. Yennefer’s nose was changed and her cheekbones were a little different, but it was still her, and Geralt just looked like a different, although quite handsome, version of himself. Ciri was simply given mousy brown hair and some extra freckles.

Just like that, the perfect and all powerful family looked like two normal people and one witcher who was still clearly a witcher but not the white wolf. Jaskier shouldered his lute. He’d cleaned up the scruff he’d been growing into a more respectable look and with his longer hair and tatty cloak he looked like any poor traveling musician. If he’d traded the lute for a shortbow he could have looked like a woodsman, totally nondescript.

He was entering from a different direction, so as not to arouse suspicion, and so was Geralt. Jaskier began walking around, so that he could enter from the east. Yen and Ciri would walk into town the closest direction, and Geralt was entering from the west. This early, it was unlikely they would have been seen all together. 

Jaskier made his way to the eastern edge of the town and walked in, scanning the streets. If this were a farm people would be up and awake long before now, farmers wake well before dawn, but this was a town, and so few people wandered the streets. Shop keepers were just beginning to open up. Jaskier bought a couple pears, slightly overripe but cheaper because of it, off of a fruit seller and had breakfast. He tried to lock into his mind all the shops around so he could find his supplies easiest later.

His mind was resisting him though. In spite of the softer ground, Jaskier had still slept badly last night. His body ached and he wished he could find somewhere warm to lay for an hour or two. Instead he found the well. 

As wells should be, this one was right in the center of town. He set down his lute case beside it, tuned his lovely lady, and began to play.

In his very first few months after leaving Oxenfurt he had learned this trick, and used it often. If you get into a town early, play at the well. People get their water first thing in the morning and there you are.

A few young women with yokes and buckets smiled at him and he nodded in return. The day brightened a little further as the sun crept above the buildings and more people came to gather in the town square. They weren’t there to hear Jaskier, not at first, most of them came for water, or to chat with neighbors, or discuss business. Many of them gathered around him though. 

Coins clattered into the case. Mostly coppers, but in a little town like this that was quite normal. 

“As sweet Polly Oliver lay musing in bed, A sudden strange fancy came into her head. "Nor father nor mother shall make me false prove, I'll 'list as a soldier, and follow my love,” he sang.

“So early next morning she softly arose, And dressed herself up in her dead brother's clothes. She cut her hair close, and she stained her face brown, And went for a soldier to fair Rinde Town.”

Sweet Polly Oliver was one of his favorites, a simple country song about a girl and her lover in wartime. This town was far enough north that with luck Nilfgaard wouldn’t attack, but the anxiety threatened. 

Jaskier gave a good performance, perhaps not his best, but he was tired and cold and the flagstones beneath his feet were very hard. He danced about, playing sweet folk songs and jigs and reels, delighting in the people who swept up and danced along. Still, though, he felt his feet bleeding inside his boots. He played from just after dawn until perhaps an hour after noon before bowing away and taking his coin. 

He’d done better than he’d expected, but there wasn’t nearly enough coin for all the things he’d need for Kaer Morhen, and extra food to help Geralt and Ciri. He’d buy what he needed now, and they’d stop again in Ard Carraigh before the keep. He’d sell his lute there, it was a large city, and he’d get a good price. The thought still made him ache, though. 

It wasn’t just his emotions causing him pain, he realised. The aches he’d been experiencing were in his chest lately, and both physical and emotional. He just needed more rest. 

Jaskier slipped through back alleys and bent streets. He’d seen a stable on his way into town. He stepped in quietly, startling a stable hand, no more than a boy, who’d been quietly talking to a horse.

“You’re the bard,” he said. “Saw you in the square jus’ this morning.”

“That’s right,” Jaskier said, bowing a little. “I’m afraid I’ll be moving on this evening and--”

“And you want to have a kip in the stables,” said the boy. “Yeah lots o’ musicians and peddlers do that. Rule is though, I got to get a coin off ‘em first as payment. I’m sorry, but I get a beating if’n I don’t.”

“No worries,” Jaskier said, he’d expected as much. He handed the boy two copper coins. “There’s pay, won’t have you getting beaten for my sake, the second coin is to wake me in two hours.”

The boy gave him a lopsided grin. “You got it sir, thanks.”

Jaskier snuggled up in the hay loft. He’d often done it, it was pretty common, if you couldn’t buy a stay at an inn or especially if you just needed a ‘kip’ as the boy had said, during the day. He’d slept in haystacks once in a while on the road too. They were sort of comfortable and surprisingly warm and, best of all, robbers didn’t get you if you kept yourself mostly under the hay.

The scent of hay and oats and horses lulled him to sleep.

He dreamed about haystacks. For some reason Roach was in the haystack with him. Geralt and Ciri too, even Yennefer. It was a crowded haystack indeed, and it grew smaller and smaller until Jaskier had to leave it and sleep on the ground so that the others weren’t squished.

He awoke to the stable boy nudging him.

“Pardon me mister,” he said. “But it’s been two hours.”

Jaskier thanked him and brushed off his clothes. 

The shops were doing a good trade this afternoon and he’d be sure to be a face in the crowd. He bought a small cooking pot and plenty of ground oats and barley for porridge at one shop. They were light to carry and owner packaged them nicely, first in one cheap, cloth drawstring bag, and then in another such bag, but with the drawstring on a different side, so he was unlikely to lose food. 

In another stall he bought plenty of nuts, walnuts were cheap here and would keep well. Good for traveling and they had protein. Some dried jerky, dried peas, and dried lentils finished his food shopping, and also most of his coin.

It was three days to Ard Carraigh, another week to trek up to the keep. The food would sustain him for that long, and they’d probably just pool their food to make sure everyone was fed. Still, he wasn’t being a burden, not too much. 

He couldn’t afford new boots, gloves, or a cloak right now, but with the last of his coin he bought a new pair of thick, warm socks, a small roll of bandages, and a couple pieces of candied ginger in a little paper twist. He tucked them all away and left the town, disappearing back to the field and their little camp well before the sun set. 

Jaskier’s heart sunk to see that he was the last to arrive. Everything was packed up, they couldn’t risk staying in the same place two nights in a row. Geralt grunted at him, but didn’t unleash any thoughts on Jaskier being a burden, so he counted himself lucky. 

He hung his head a little at having delayed their parting and trekked after the perfect little family, his pack much heavier than it had been. Ciri slid her hand into his and they walked on in silence. The hand was nice though.

In an odd way, it hurt, too. He wasn’t part of the family, so he didn’t really deserve this, but it was painfully good to have just a taste of being wanted. 

What would happen, he wondered, when the winter was over. He was a danger to Geralt and Ciri if Nilfgaard found him. He wasn’t wanted by Geralt at all. Jaskier was reminded once again that it would be so much easier for Geralt to kill him, or for Yennefer to wipe his memory. Maybe he could fake his death to get Nilfgaard of his trail.

“Jaskier?” Ciri asked. “How did you become a bard?”

Jaskier looked down at her, maudlin thoughts interuppted. “Oh, well, it’s not as though you have to register, you just become one. Walking into an inn and saying ‘let me play for you pretty please I need food’ is a good start.”

“No,” Ciri giggled. “I meant, you said you learned the lute for your sister, but you write your own music and stuff too.”

“Oh, well, anyone can write music if they have an instrument and a good enough memory,” Jaskier said. “Indeed, many of the greatest bards had little education at all, I, however, studied at Oxenfurt.”

“Did you like it?”

“Sometimes. It was school, and some parts were dull but I learned much.”

“I heard some of the maids giggling once about a young scholar who’d come to stay with us,” Ciri said, matter of factly. “He was always in the library and was kind of snooty with me when I asked questions, but the maids were saying he certainly had a lot of ‘carnal knowledge’. Did you study that too?”

Jaskier was choking on thin air. 

“I, um, no it was more of a hobby,” Jaskier said before his head could catch up with his mouth. “Little Highness, I suspect you weren’t supposed to hear that conversation, and no, I studied the seven liberal arts.”

“So it was about sex, I was never sure,” Ciri said.

Jaskier coughed awkwardly. “Yes, princess.”

“It’s okay, I know about that stuff, Grandmother explained it.”

Jaskier let out a breath, at least he wouldn’t have to be the one to explain anything to her. 

“When you went to school were you scared to leave your family?” Ciri asked.

“No, pet, I was excited to go,” he wasn’t about to get into all his trauma with her, she had enough of her own, poor thing. “I couldn’t wait to learn about music and poetry.”

“Grandmother said all poets were silly romantics and dreamers, but I think that sounds nice. Do you have a moose?”

“A what?”

“I read it in a book, a moose, somebody you love and you write about it.”

“Oh, that’s one of the trickier words Ciri, it’s said ‘muse’, and yes, I had one or two.”

“Only one or two? In the book the poet had hundreds,” Ciri sounded almost disappointed. 

“I only ever needed one,” Jaskier said quietly. “One that mattered anyway.”

“And your Countess still left you,” Geralt said, rather coldly. He was doing his annoyed face and Jaskier could have kicked himself. He’d been talking too much. The reminder that the Countess de Stael had left him too hurt, but Jaskier wasn’t going to risk Geralt’s ire to say that she wasn’t the muse he was talking about. That was maybe something he should keep to himself.

“Do muses often leave?” Ciri asked, wide eyed. “If somebody was writing me poetry I wouldn’t want to.”

“No, usually the poet does the leaving,” Jaskier said. “After his muse asks him to go. There’s a shelf life on a bard, you know. We only have so many stories and songs before we’re used up and no one wants us around anymore. That’s when we move along.”

“I’ll hear your stories again and again,” Ciri said. “I won’t ask you to go.”

Jaskier’s heart curled up and whimpered inside his chest. He’d have to go sooner or later, he’d have to leave her. Geralt would get sick of him, too sick to bear even for Ciri’s sake. Or Jaskier would just have to leave of his own volition, lest he shovel shit into her life too.

If he could give her life one blessing...

“This’ll do for a campsite,” Geralt said. It was a tiny, clear area. Jaskier almost groaned. It was surrounded by oak trees, with dropped acorns that would dig into his bedroll and mottle his back with bruises come morning. He’d had a good rest in town, though, so another bad night of sleep wouldn’t be too bad, he told himself.

The others had eaten in town. Jaskier said he had too, so he wouldn’t waste rations. He had plenty, but strangely, he wasn’t so hungry lately. Anyway, always best to save.

He pulled off his boots and  his freshly bloodied socks. Ew. Ciri retired to the magic tent early, exhausted from their long days of walking. Jaskier listened to Yennefer and Geralt talk.

“We’ll need lots of supplies in Ard Carraigh,” Geralt was saying.

“We don’t have any money,” Yennefer replied. 

Jaskier had his back to them as he cleaned the wounds on his feet, but he could picture grave expressions. 

“We’ll get some, I’ll do a quick contract there, something. We’ll need a cart and pony to get Ciri up The Killer, it’s too much for her, it’s too hard for some witchers even.”

“That’ll cost,” Yennefer said. “But you’re right. I wish I could portal us but--”

“Tracking, exactly. There’s always plenty of contracts in cities, it’ll be fine.”

Jaskier looked at the blisters on his foot, they’d opened more with his long performance that day. It was no matter, he wound the bandages around them and put on his new, thick socks. At least his feet would be warm. 

Not too warm, though. He spotted a hole in the bottom of his boot that he hadn’t noticed before.

And they needed lots of money for Ard Carraigh. No matter. He knew how to get some.

He pretended his eyes filled with tears from the pain of blisters, not from heartache, as he pushed his feet back into his boots and opened the lute case. He pulled out his beautiful girl. He wouldn’t play her, it would annoy Geralt. He’d always hated Jaskier’s music, although he hated to hear Jaskier sing even more. 

Pie with no filling.

Jaskier wished he could play her, though. It was going to break his heart to part with her, and he didn’t think he’d ever played another instrument as fine. If he could, he’d play her every second until he had to sell her. 

Probably for the best, though, if he was going to fake his death. She was distinctive.

He brushed a hand over the beautiful wood work on her front. There was a little bit of linseed oil left, and he poured it on the rag he kept in the case and began to work over his girl lovingly. His eyes teared up again, but he fought it back. He would have smashed his lute if it meant helping Ciri. And Geralt.

Jaskier longed for Geralt to forgive him, to take him back and let him stay by his side, but he’d meant what he’d said, bards have a shelf life, and Jaskier’s time was up. 

He wished Geralt would at least speak with him, though. His heart was aching. In a completely different sense, so was his chest.

“Play us a tune, bard,” Yennefer said.

Jaskier turned around. Yen and Geralt were sitting beside eachother, close together. She looked so beautiful in her fine cloak that Jaskier wondered how he ever thought he could catch Geralt’s eye when beings like her existed.

“You know,” he said. “It’s late and I wouldn’t want to bother Ciri.”

“Tent’s soundproof,” Yennefer said, waving her hand. 

“I mean, really,” Jaskier protested weakly. Disobeying Yennefer’s request/command was like bathing your brain in lava, but Geralt was looking angry again. Some would say there wasn’t much change from Geralt’s normal expression, but Jaskier knew his face better than he knew his own. Something had made Geralt angry or upset. The only possible answer was Jaskier. It was always Jaskier. 

“Play us a song, bard,” Yennefer said. “You’ve been so quiet other than stories, I’d almost think you were a doppler, Melitele knows no one could have taught you to shut up.”

Jaskier swallowed the lump in his throat.

He began, slowly, to pick out a gently tune on his lute. It was a song about winter and home, and he knew the lyrics well. Yennefer had only asked him to play, so he would. His music was at least less offensive than his voice.

He reveled in the feel of his lute beneath his fingers, letting the feeling wash over him, committing it to memory.

When he was finished Yennefer said, “I suppose your voice was tired from your performance, I heard in the town how the bard had played such a long set.”

Jaskier smiled grimly back at her. “Just earning my keep.”

He went to bed, feeling the cold seep into his bones.

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Tag List!

@frywen-babbles @mordoriscalling @thedarkestangel1 @kerfufflezz  @live-long-and-trek-on @holymotherwolf @gryffinqueen

@samukai @charlies-dragon  I can’t seem to tag, but they’re on the list

[airis-paris14]

Starlight 6

Summary: Amani is an orphaned heiress who’s spent most of her life raising her younger sister. T’Challa is a widowed King and Father. Neither of them is expecting much from their night at the Lotus. But the coming months have many milestones in store for these young adults. Will becoming a family be one of them?

1 || 2 || 3 || 4 || 5 || 6 || 7

“So where are you going?” Madiyson pestered her friend. It was 4:30 and Amani knew T’Challa would be here in exactly an hour. She quickly picked up the pace. She still had to take down her twist out and style it. “He said he’s just taking me out to dinner and then a surprise after.” Amani stood up from her vanity and walked into the bathroom. Madiyson had kept her word and spent the night. “With a man like that, the surprise could be diamonds sis,” Madiyson exclaimed as she fell back on Amani’s bed. “I’m pretty sure it’s not diamonds,” the heiress laughed. “How do you know?” Madiyson sat up, watching her friend delicately untwist her strands of hair. “I don’t but I hope not. I’d have to give them back.” Amani shrugged. They sat in silence as Amani finished untwisting and fluffing her hair.

“You really like him don’t you,” Madiyson asked. Amani paused her search for her red silk headwrap. She glanced up at her friend, “I really do.”

“I can tell, you’re willing to give back diamonds,” Madiyson teased. “Shut up,” Amani laughed, throwing one of the headwraps at her. Diamonds had always been Amani’s favorite jewel and all of her friends knew it. It wasn’t that she owned a lot of diamonds, but she was very vocal about her love of jewelry. It wasn’t rare for her to get excited and show her friends a video from a jeweler’s Instagram. The only two diamonds she owned had been gifted by her parents. Her first diamond was a necklace gifted to her when she turned 16. The second was a pair of diamond drop earrings given to her on her eighteenth birthday. Her parents had continued the tradition for Amare as well, but it would be up to Amani to purchase the diamond for her 18th birthday that was coming soon. She made a mental note to start looking for diamond earrings.

“I just don’t want him to think I’m with him for what he can give me. We aren’t in an exclusive relationship, and most of the things he can give me, I could give myself. Gifts are for girlfriends and wives, and I’m not either.” Amani pointed. Finally locating her silk head wrap she began to tie up her curls into a red wrapped pineapple updo. “I understand,” Madiyson agreed walking over into Amani’s closet. “What are you wearing to dinner?” Madiyson called searching through hangers. “It’s in here with me,” Amani replied, laughing as she heard the hangers continuing to move. “Okay, I’ll see it when you get dressed… Girl! I should raid your closet more often!” Madiyson yelled.”

Amani shook her head and started to pull on her clothes. She grabbed her red bodysuit followed by a pair of navy blue and green silk pants edged with red trim. She finished the look with a dark green short coat and red heels. She grabbed her diamond earrings off of the bathroom counter and checked to make sure she was still wearing the necklace her parents had given her. She hadn’t taken it off since the day they passed. With earrings and necklace in place, Amani covered her lips in lipgloss and smiled at her outfit. She looked good, and she knew it. The black woman left her bathroom and walked out into the bedroom. She grabbed her matching clutch and checked her phone. 5:25 on the dot. “Girl can I borrow this dress some-” Madiyson stopped talking as she spotted her friend. “Okay, sis!” Madiyson cheered. “You look good.”

“Thank you,” Amani smiled, “And of course. It would look great on you.” Amani nodded towards the short beaded white dress in her friend’s hand. “Thank you,” Madiyson cheesed. “He should be here soon. You gonna drive home or you gotta work soon?” Amani asked as she and Madiyson headed towards the living room. “I’m going home. Marquis asked if I wanted to get drinks at 8.”

“Ooh, look at you,” Amani teased. “It’s just drinks between friends,” Madiyson blushed. “Sure,” Amani grinned, “It’s just drinks for now. Next week it’ll be a date, and you know I’m right.” Madiyson didn’t respond and Amani knew that she was right. The doorbell drew both of their attention. “He’s punctual,” Madiyson commented. Amani opened the front door and smiled at the sight of T’Challa. “Hi,” she breathed. “Hey,” he breathed back, his eyes drinking in the sight of the woman before him. “Come in,” Amani gestured. “Thank you,” T’Challa smiled. “T’Challa this is Madiyson. Madiyson, this is T’Challa.”

“Nice to meet you,” T’Challa shook Madiyson’s hand. “The pleasure is all mine,” Madiyson insisted, “I’ve heard so much about you-”

“Okay, we should probably get going. I’m sure T’Challa had reservations,” Amani interrupted her friend. Madiyson could never resist a chance to embarrass her friend. “Bye Madiyson,” Amani called as she and T’Challa headed out of the front door. “Have fun! I’ll lock up! Don’t bring home no babies.” Madiyson yelled front the front stoop and Amani mentally groaned.

“She seems nice,” T’Challa commented as he opened the car door for Amani. “She’s really sweet when she’s not trying to embarrass me,” Amani sighed as he closed her door. T’Challa laughed as he settled in the car beside her. “The king drives himself?” Amani raised an eyebrow. “I enjoy driving,” T’Challa laughed, “besides, this is the safest car in the world. I wanted to drive you myself without someone listening in on our conversations tonight.”

“And what’s on the conversation table tonight that so special?”

“You’ll just have to stick around and find out won’t you,” T’Challa teased. He smoothly backed out of her drive and pulled off into the city. “How’d you end up in Atlanta?” the king broke the silence. “I went to college in the AUC, Atlanta University Center, I went to Spelman.”

“What did you major in?” the king inquired. “I was an independent Major. Did a mixture of Documentary Filmmaking, History, writing, and hospitality.” T’Challa nodded, “Did you enjoy your time?”

“I adored it. I’m still friends with a lot of people I went to school with. Madiyson, went to Clark Atlanta. I met her at homecoming one year. It gave me a sense of self and confidence. None of my professors made me feel crazy for wanting to study all of my interests.” Amani reminisced. “Does your sister go to school there?” T’Challa slowed to a stop at a red light. “Nope. They didn’t have her major, so she ended up at MIT. That’s where she wanted to be, so I’m happy for her. She has to make her own decisions.”

“It’s good that you’re supportive.” T’Challa smiled, easing onto the gas as the light turned to green. “What about you? Did you go to college?” Amani asked.

“Yes. I actually went to school in the states.” T’Challa’s eyes twinkled. “Really, you probably went to Yale right?” Amani joked. “Not even close,” T’Challa laughed. “Well, where’d you go to school?”

“I went to Howard University.”

“You’re a lie. There’s absolutely no way.” Amani gasped. “Is it so hard to believe that I would fit in?” T’Challa frowned.

“No! No, I just meant that it seems impossible that you could go to school in the states and no one would know who you were. It seems like the media would have been all over that.” Amani clarified. “Oh. Well, it was not that difficult. Your country did not have much interest in Wakanda until my father passed. I’m the first king to open Wakanda up to the world. I didn’t really tell people who I was, and people didn’t really ask. They just knew I was a foreign exchange student,” the king shrugged. “If that ever gets loose people are gonna lose their ever-loving minds,” Amani laughed. “I’m genuinely surprised it hasn’t already. I’m not exactly hiding it,” the king chuckled.

“What was your major?”

“Physics and Engineering.”

“No politics or international studies?”

“It was a minor,” the king shrugged, “My father taught me everything I needed to know about running our country. I wanted to study something that I was interested in before I spent a life ruling a country,” T’Challa explained. Amani frowned, “You don’t like being a king?”

“It’s not really as simple as enjoying it. It’s a responsibility that I gladly accept. I enjoy working with my people. I enjoy traveling, I could do without all of the politics but it comes with the job description. The responsibility has been passed down through my family since the beginning of our country’s existence. I couldn’t really see myself doing anything else.”

“I can’t fully understand, but as long as you’re happy, I’m happy for you,” Amani smiled. “Thank you,” the king grinned. They fell into comfortable silence once more. T’Challa pulled into a valet station and parked the car. He got out and rushed around to help Amani out of the car. “Thank you,” the waitress smiled. The king handed his keys to the valet and walked with Amani into the restaurant. “I hope you like Thai food,” he placed his hand on her lower back as they approached the maître d'. “I love it,” Amani told him. They checked in and the host led them back to their table. They looked over the menu, ordered, and simply enjoyed each other’s company. “If you could go to any city in the world right at this moment, where would you want to go?” T’Challa suddenly sat up. He leaned forward looking Amani directly in the eyes. Amani sat back, releasing her straw back into her drink, “Any city I want?”

“Any city on any continent,” the king promised, his smile growing by the second. “Milan, Italy,” Amani responded, “for fashion week.”

“Fashion week is soon yes?” T’Challa asked, sitting back in his chair. “It sure is, My sister’s birthday is usually the week after. That’s how I remember when fashion week starts,” Amani laughed. “How old will she be?” “She’ll be 18 this year,” Amani sighed. “That isn’t a good thing?” T’Challa frowned. “It is, but it’s just a reminder she’s gonna leave me for good soon,” Amani frowned, “And 18 is a big birthday in our family.”

“How so?” the king inquired. “Well, 18 is the age of majority in the US. So in acknowledgment of us becoming an adult, my parents gave their last gift. When we turned 16, my parents gave my sister and me a diamond necklace. When I turned 18, they gave me a pair of diamond earrings. Amare had been excited about receiving her earrings since she turned 17. They had bought her necklace before they died, so I was able to give it to her, but I’ve gotta keep the tradition alive on this one.”

“That’s really sweet,” The king offered a small smile, “I’m sure she’ll love whatever you buy for her.

“I hope so.”

The conversation faded again as the couple enjoyed their food. The occasional comment on the food was the only conversation. “Amani,” T’Challa started once he finished his food, “I have really enjoyed spending time with you.” Amani blushed. The king pushed his plate back before continuing, “I know that there is a lot to overcome between us. The distance being the biggest problem, my job coming in a close second,” Amani and T’Challa chuckled, “But I would really like to make us work. As a couple. Officially,” T’Challa paused watching for Amani’s reaction. She took a deep breath as her smile grew across her face, “Me too,” the young woman nodded in response. T’Challa reached across the table and took her hand in his, “Amani Okeke, will you be my girlfriend?”

“It would be my honor, your majesty,” Amani laughed at T’Challa’s groan. “It’s just T’Challa to you, entle.” The king pressed a kiss to the back of her hand. “What does that mean?” Amani soaked in the feeling of his hand against hers.

“It means beautiful in Xhosa, my native language.”

“I like it,” Amani giggled, looking up into his eyes. “I’m glad,” he stared back at her.

The waiter came back shortly and took away the new couple’s empty plates. T’Challa paid for dinner and happily escorted his girlfriend out into his waiting car. “I hope you enjoyed the food.” The king opened the door for Amani as she climbed in. “It was wonderful, thank you,” the young woman smiled as the king closed her door. “I am glad you enjoyed the meal.”

T’Challa pulled away from the curb and started the opposite direction from Amani’s house. “Where are you taking me?” Amani smiled, her eyes glued to the king as he ventured to the opposite side of the city. “It is a surprise.” He smirked as he cruised through a green light.

“Oh really?” Amani turned to face the window. “Can I have a hint?”

“No, no hints. Just accept the surprise.”

Amani frowned out the window, as T’Challa laughed. “I can see you pouting in the window.”

“I’m not pouting,” a smile crept back onto Amani’s face. “I can see it in the glass from all the way over here Amani-”T’Challa started. “I just want to know where we are going. I don’t like surprises,” Amani’s voice trailed off into a mumble. “You do not like surprises?” T’Challa glanced over at her. “No,” she fought back another smile. “So you would like for me to turn around and take you home? It is really a shame since we are so close to the surp-”

“No, don’t turn around,” Amani cried out stopping his hand from pulling over. The king laughed. “I won’t,”T’challa still pulled over into a parking spot off the curb. “We are already here.” The king smiled as he stopped the car. He got out and helped Amani out from her side. He squeezed her hand gently and didn’t let go. They walked up the street to a glass-front building. “An art gallery,” Amani smiled as she noticed people inside mulling around holding flutes of champagne. “Yes, I hope this is alright, I assumed that you like art from the work hanging in your house-”

“I do! I love art,” Amani reassured as the couple paused outside of the front door, “I just wasn’t expecting this, but I love it.”

“What were you expecting?”

“I don’t know, dancing or a show, I don’t really know what I was expecting. I’m glad this is the surprise though, I truly am surprised, and happy.”

T’Challa nodded and escorted her in. Their hands swang together softly as they moved into the room. “I do not know much about the exposition, besides the fact that it is a collection of new African American artists. This gallery is my favorite in the city, they always do an amazing job.”

“They must have an amazing curator,” Amani affirmed as she gazed at some of the works in front of her. “One of the best. I buy a lot of pieces from this galley. They always seem to have something that I want.”

“Maybe I’ll find something new for myself or Amare,” Amani smiled at her date. The two meandered around the room, picking up some champagne as they perused. As they were talking and walking Amani’s attention was drawn to a painting that hung behind T’Challa’s head. Noticing her look the king turned over his shoulder to find what had caught her gaze and he smiled. “Do you like it?” He gripped her hand in his and walked her to the painting.

“I do. There’s just something about her gaze, and her hair. It’s like it’s people, then a city, but then I find myself just staring at her curls once more. There’s innocence, there’s pain, and there’s pride. It’s wrapped up in one, and it’s breathtaking.”

“You should buy it?”

“Where am I gonna put a bright red painting in my house T’Challa?”

“I don’t know, paint your bedroom red? Paint the Guest room red?”

“You really want me to buy this painting.” Amani turned to him. “No. Not if you do not want it, but you’ve bought two pictures for Amare for her birthday, and you have yet to buy one for yourself.”

“I’ve already started my collection, and I’ve got to save up for her birthday present. So maybe next time,” Amani shrugged but looked up at the painting. “I understand.” T’challa glanced over at his girlfriend before taking another sip of his champagne. “So I am going to buy it for you,” The king announced.

“T’Challa you don’t have to do that. You do not have to buy me gifts.”

“I know that I do not have to do anything, but I want to do this for you. Do you like this painting,” the king turned to face his girlfriend and took one of her hands in his free one. “I do,” she nodded back. “Then I am going to buy it for you, because your are my girlfriend and I want to treat you. You do so much for others, so let me do something for you.”

Amani nodded and smiled. The couple finished pursuing and purchasing their items. A few hours later they found themselves back on Amani’s front steps. “I had an amazing time tonight.”

Amani pushed the key in her lock as she smiled. The lock clicked opened and she invited T’Challa in. “I did too,” the young homeowner smiled, shrugging off her coat onto the couch before walking back over to T’Challa. He smiled at her, “I hope I an not to forward in asking this, but I am going to be taking Ada on a short vacation and I would like for you to come with us. We aren’t going to Milan unfortunately, but we are going to Paris. I am sure she would enjoy your presence as well.”

“Are you sure, I wouldn’t want to encroach on you all’s time together. I know it is limited since she is away at school and with Nanny’s-”

“Well,” T’Challa cleared his throat, “I have been doing some thinking and that is all going to be changing soon. The vacation is for the end of her school year, and next year, I have decided that she will be continuing her formal education with me in the palace. And her nanny will be retiring as well. I took your advice and realized that I wanted to spend quality time with my daughter and get to know her. Not be a stranger that she comes home to and calls her father. And she is only five, she probably will not even really remember this vacation and she loves having you around and we coul-” Amani cut off his rambling by pressing her lips to his. She melted into the kiss as his senses took over and he kissed her back. She pulled away slowly blinking her eyes, “If I can get off of work, I would love to tag along with you all,” She bit her lip and grinned.

“Great,” he nodded slowly, gazing back at her, “I’ll send you the details in the morning my love.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

T’Challa rested his forehead on hers. “Goodnight Amani,” The king smiled. “Goodnight,” Amani whispered. The father placed one last kiss on her lips before she let him out. Amani locked the door behind herself and grinned all the way up the stairs to take a shower.

Taglist: @almostpurelysmut @blackbypurpose @nyneebee @hutchj @tchoking @sisterwifeudaku @wikiwakanda @royallyprincesslilly @90sinspiredgirl @strictlyashley @afraiddreamingandloving @thedelightfulone @autumn242 @purple-apricots @kumkaniudaku @queertrex @kaciidubs @halfrican-heat @skysynclair19 @dramaqueenamby @gorjiss @leahnicole1219 @kreolemami @mzbritt @yoyolovesbucky @derangedcupcake @builtalongthewayside @ilcb7 @chaneajoyyy @lalapalooza718 @ororowrites @leahnicole1219 @dopegalkk @sarcastic-sunshines @sarahboseman @shesakillerkween @waitingonafriend @faatassbitch @lady-love-and-glitter-roses @cxnismajcr @tchallasbabymama

[madamhatter]

act 0. observer’s notes your name is….. finding place in exile, the ramifications of war, and the scars it makes (Posttraumatic Stress Disorder)

Discussion on PTSD and its play in writing Sophie in the Topaxi verse. A general (mental) profile of the Sorceress in this setting would be included.  Includes connecting recurring imagery and rifts spotted in-character writing in the Topaxi verse. (Kind of spoilers!)

READ AT YOUR OWN CAUTION.

The story of displacement is a common tale for many of the Roles in Topaxi. Be it if you’re of those surviving past the war, having escaped the clutches of social prejudice of your home country, or even in rift from self-persecution, the belongingness that was once felt is adrift and lost to the ever-revolving and never-stopping world we live in.  As of the latest conquest conducted by the Topaxi Advancement Forces (TAF), the continent of Gaea has had several of its countries turned territories or effaced within the past seven to eight years. It has been over two years since the invasion and TAF is on standby as the last emperor had suddenly and mysteriously passed away. 

One of the last countries to be taken by the Empire was a smaller region towards the north of the continent with one coast belonging to the open sea. Such a place, which was incredibly small and considered nameless by then, was the home of the Sorceress.

In the wake of post-war life, most have found their living in making a living, while a rare few live to make a change. So ends up Sophie Hatter, the confirmed one of eight survivors from her hometown, to Topaxi with no remnants of family with her as they are located elsewhere in the Topaxi empire. (A complicated situation. It is connected to Sophie’s mother and it is the reason why Sophie is the last Hatter to leave her home country). She is holding herself together with only the clothes on her body and whatever items survived the destruction in a small messenger bag she found in the debris of her late childhood home.  So, where does Sophie find herself...? What is she like now? 

Similar to discussed cases in Topaxi with certain roles being exposed to and/or participating in the war, Sophie Hatter is one of those cases. She developed Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) that is comorbid with general anxiety disorder, panic disorder, and major depressive disorder. NOTE: Major depressive disorder would be a differential diagnosis. However, the symptoms exhibited by Sophie by the time she is 19, and after the course for acute stress disorder to be diagnosed (~3 days to a month), does reflects does include symptoms for “PTSD Criterion B or C symptoms” and  “PTSD Criterion D or E” (p 279, DSM-5). Meaning that comorbidity is possible diagnosis or this disorder soon developed because of the traumatic event in place. 

Sophie struggles with creating herself as she was before; there is an intrusion that exists within her and she is acutely aware of it and believes that she must do something about it. This nuisance she classifies, however, cannot be as easily undone as she realizes and her understanding of it is very limited, given the fact that the world of Topaxi has limited resources and research committed to psychology.

While the city-state of Topaxi can be considered modern and ahead of its time with the presence of UCAT, their progression and developments are not concurrent (yet) with the going-ons of today. While its history may not have been dedicated to vulnerable populations and certain experiences they might have faced, changes are being made with new projects, but there is still a way’s to go. 

Sophie Hatter, externally, is a persistently active figure, working with the newly made community in her apartment and living day-to-day with newly found relationships. However, she remains within arms’ distance with others while providing help, working to her best to keep stability around her as much as she can. Her schedule, during the day, is extremely limited and refined by her to avoid as many external variables that may affect her and she does not want to even imagine or experience how she’ll respond. 

Internally, however, Sophie Hatter is still a young woman who is grasping with the reality of what has happened to her during the invasion. Preceding the conquest, she already exhibited behaviors of a childhood that left her perception of the world altered and her self-perception low (to the point of being uncaring to her own safety). However, the inclusion of adversity from events during the war and the continuous exposure from her curse to her escape has heightened and created characteristics, responses, and coping mechanisms to handle what the mind is still attempting to fully comprehend/accept has happened.

Be note, that there are two events in the war that affected her: (1) discovering her decimated town/facing the its destruction and (2) her time before her “escape.” 

Following DSM-5 and the Diagnostic Criteria for Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (figure 43.10), Sophie has the following symptoms and tendencies underneath these particular categories:  (Numbers denote which event is tied to what.)

A  “Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violation in one (or more) of the following ways” [EVENT] 

Directly experiencing the traumatic event - (1) The travel through the desolated country and seeing first-hand accounts of dead bodies, murder, and other atrocities ; (2) Detainment and what happened during then.

Witnessing, in person, the event(s) as it occurred to others - (1) The final bombings and scourge that swept over the valley ; (2) Was forced to watch mutilation and unethical experiments

B  “Presence of one (or more) of the following intrusion symptoms associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning after the traumatic event(s) occurred” [INTRUSION]

Recurrent, involuntary, and intrusive distressing memories of the traumatic event(s) - (1) & (2) happens a lot but does not come out through direct and perfect images of what has happened. Usually plays out that she sees the dead bodies and imagines fire around her if moving too quickly or in areas that she avoids because of stimuli that can trigger her.  

Intense or prolonged psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event(s) - Will enter a state of intrusive thoughts that will repeatedly tell her to leave and push her to go away. Would end up apologizing repeatedly and would begin her move as soon as possible. 

Marked physiological reactions to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event(s) - Turns blank in the face and stares out whenever stimuli (or a combination) is in contact with her ; memories will begin resurfacing mainly through smell, but she has routinely removed herself ASAP. Flight or fight response will be immensely present and it DOES depend on her hypervigilance and whether she is moonlighting as Simeon as not. if moonlighting, the “fight” reaction WILL be used and will devolve into violence. If not, Sophie’s immediate response will be to leave and leave as soon as possible, no matter what it is she is doing. Would end up shallowly breathing like there’s smoke in the air, holding herself, and bowing her head as if avoiding seeing something before her. 

C “Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by one or both of the following” [AVOIDANCE]

Avoidance of or efforts to avoid distressing memories, thoughts, or feelings about or closely associated with the traumatic event(s) - (1) Continued rejection and avoidance of topics relating to latest conquests and usually avoids districts that are heavy with TAF occupation (bases, ports, air fields, etc.) ; 

Avoidance of or efforts to avoid external reminders (people, places, conversations, activities, objects, situations) that arouse distressing memories, thoughts, or feelings about or closely associated with the traumatic event(s) - (2) Adamant refusal to enter or get close to medical facilities and certain smells like ammonia will make her hostile and intense (first mentioned in Headcanon Dump #1)

D “Negative alterations in cognitions and mood associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning or worsening after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by two (or more) of the following” [NEGATIVE ALTERNATIONS IN COGNITIONS AND MOOD ASSOCIATED WITH THE EVENT]

Inability to remember an important aspect of the traumatic event(s) (typically due to dissociative amnesia and not to other factors such as head injury, alcohol, or drugs) - Confirmed for dissociative amnesia where the events of (1) and (2) meld together and the timeline is mixed together ; there are very specific images that do not reflect the real scene or are reduced from the original signifier (I.E., the specific image of draping/pouring red)  

Persistent and exaggerated negative beliefs or expectations about oneself, others, or the world (e.g., “I am bad,” “No one can be trusted,” “The world is completely dangerous,” “My whole nervous system is permanently ruined”) - Consistent and returning thoughts of worthlessness for self (’Why am I still here versus....?” ; others are seen to be temporary in her life and cannot be held onto for long ( “they need something from me, that’s why they’re here..”)

Persistent, distorted cognitions about the cause or consequences of the traumatic event(s) that lead the individual to blame himself/herself or others - Consistent blame on herself for (2) but (1) is vehemently targeted towards both herself when it comes to the deaths of her community -AND- people she distinguishes as responsible for the outcome (Topaxi officials and, at times, associates of TAF ) and authority figures from her country 

Persistent negative emotional state (e.g., fear, horror, anger, guilt, or shame) - Amplified when Simeon and the persona is seen as an outlet to let out these emotions she believe she needs to keep in line ; usually guilt, anger, and shame meshed together, which leads to fueling reckless behavior and decisions that may hurt herself (which she dubs as necessary)

E “Marked alterations in arousal and reactivity associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning or worsening after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by two (or more) of the following”  [MARKED ALTERNATION IN AROUSAL AND REACTIVITY] 

Irritable behavior (with little to no provocation) towards objects and people - Most visible when moonlighting as Simeon. 

Reckless or self-destructive behavior - Refer to purpose of Simeon persona and her views on her livelihood and how she actively “punishes” herself. 

Hypervigilance. - Already present in Sophie, worsened from war. Contributing to this would be her consistency to keep her and her night persona separated; add on need to keep herself on a low-profile and not recognizable in certain locations with medical personnel and researchers. 

Sleep disturbance (e.g., difficulty falling or staying asleep or restless sleep) - Already present in Sophie, worsened from war. 

F “Duration of the disturbance (Criteria B, C, D, and E) is more than 1 month.”

Has been persistent throughout the ~2 years she has been living in Topaxi.

G “The disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.”

Confirmed. 

H “The disturbance is not attributable to the physiological effects of a substance (e.g., medication, alcohol) or another medical condition.”

Not able to be found in context of the comorbidity exhibited by Sophie. Many new symptoms took form after the experiences she had in war. To note, she has been showing signs of a new comorbidity (substance reliance, alcohol). 

SPECIFICATION: Depersonalization with delayed expression (taken a year for these symptoms to begin). 

 - - - 

Sophie Hatter, as previously described, is someone who is coping with trauma through the best way she knows and has done before with her other trauma: ignoring it and shunning herself. However, she has particular outlets that may come of casual consumption of alcohol which happens concerningly frequent throughout certain days if stimuli are present. 

Additionally, while Simeon is throughout the criteria, they were not originally made as a result of what occurred. The original creation of Simeon was meant to be a persona she could use to live a “double life” as she needed to make more money and dangerous work paid well.  Having them as separate lives, in her eyes, keeps her safe from anyone targeting or her family (but, it is clear that her sisters and stepmother are not on the island).

Instead, they have became a violent outlet for her internalized dread, anguish, and anger. Having the “informant” as an extension of herself, excusing bad decisions and feeling out of her body while the world around her happens, has proven detrimental to the process of the awareness, acknowledgement, assistance, and acceptance of her condition. 

Here are several examples of Sophie’s PTSD appearing:

Self-harm/demanding herself to be hurt/trying to mark herself and punish herself

Haggardly, Simeon grimaces while their vest was shed off and resting on the tower hanger, alongside their binder beside it. Their dress shirt was half-way unbuttoned. Over their exposed shoulders and underneath their breasts were imprints.

Scarred fingertip digs into their collarbone. A sharp jab into their clavicle, feeling a minor ache as they push further.  Bruise, damn it. Make some mark. Make color, be red.

-- EXCERPT FROM THIS DRABBLE (SOPHIE’S DISPOSITION).

Association with red and the bleeding of traumatic events (1) and (2) joining together, causing her to respond blankly to the situation before being distracted by Yunuen speaking

Red skies, red sparks, red flow, red blossoms in the sky, red stained on metal, red dyeing gowns, red fringes framing a scratched off face that hovers over your pinned body, red hot pain searing into your body, red, red, red red-

-- EXCEPT FROM THIS THREAD (FIRST ENCOUNTER WITH YUNUEN). 

Survivor’s guilt and persistent negativity directed at herself because of her survival (The marks are related to (2) and the thought is related to (1)): 

On her right hip, roughly the same size as the other, but longer as it had dragged along said hip, the scar was horizontal and deeper than its neighbor, visible from its crinkled appearance. Reminders of life’s misplaced luck, she concludes, not used wisely by Fate this time around. How silly of them to pick me.

-- EXCERPT FROM SILVER STIGMATA (PHYSICAL SURVEY)

Hypervigilance and abundance of stimuli that make her extremely uncomfortable/distrusting of situation: 

A heaviness swells in their chest, an unshakable pressure tightening their rib cage, and yet, this was only normal symptoms of living a life like this. Industrial foulness mixed with fresh market fragrances from the decadent and wealthy market by the mouth of the alley; all the more gag-inducing for the young informant.

However, they clutch onto the empty box in their hands, making out the plastic ridges against the faintest callouses on the tip of their fingers They weren’t ignorant to the truth; how these sounds that place them on edge, instead soothed others. After all, this was home for many. But, for Simeon – rather, the one beneath the mask, it was not. And it never would be.

-- EXCERPT FROM THREAD (discontinued as person is inactive in verse)

One of the first instances of Sophie’s PTSD affecting her and being active in a thread would be her firstt, but short-lived, interaction with Tatyana. The avoidance nature and immediate removal from the situation happens in this case when Tatyana revs up the engine on her motorcycle, shouting from a stranger from the apartments joins in, and the heavy and direct smell and vision of smog. 

Here’s the break down: 

Physiological numbness in the moment; mind is still active, but taking a backseat and removing herself from situation (recognizing self as powerless in moment):

The shouting began as Sophie turns her face away, feeling her skin crawl to a coldness. The words that left his mouth were no less understandable but the ferocity and indignation in his tone was far too recognizable. If she considered it, she could’ve spoken back and defused the situation. The gift of tongues came with the ability to grant passage for others who can’t be brought together by difference of languages.

Physiological response and addition of stimuli that directly relate back to the image of hometown [INTRUSION]: 

Sophie Hatter’s eyes are now but a distant gaze over towards the taller blonde, only wishing like she did when she was younger. To disappear, to toil and fade away, to crawl back to whence she came from. Roaring engines, the smell of smoke, it was sickening. It was inespacable in the floating island, but it smelled too much like what remained of home. Add onto the shouting and it was already enough to make her head ache.

(Unknowingly) reenacting particular body language used during trauma; feeling of helplessness in situation that is out of her control: 

Some of her body was already numbing at the fingertips and she was pulling the black collar of her turtleneck over her mouth and nose. It wouldn’t work to cushion and black the sounds, their volume growing louder and louder like the pain in her head.

Active avoidance, mind begins flight-or-fight situation with altered perceptive of reality: 

“I need somewhere quiet.” She feebly comments, glancing back to the apartment buildings, and believing that there were more people creeping by the windows. The silver-haired woman promptly steps aside. Now, she was ready to shuffle away and avoid the incoming shouts on the block if it continued.

She wasn’t a fan of the memories it brought.

Sudden and abrupt removal from situation, signal of struggling to keep body language together as she wants to avoid an episode: 

“Good luck,” she waves a hand, glancing back to the stranger, before balling her hands into  the pockets of her sweater. She began her quiet leave.

- - - 

More is to be written about Sophie in how she is greatly affected by this. Some drabbles have been scrapped and were planned to express how deep the trauma works. Though, it can be already seen in how Sophie views death, treats her body, a persistently negative view on certain parties and the outcome of life, etc. 

Drabbles that were scrapped but would be considered “canon” that relay back to Sophie’s trauma would include:

As Simeon at Lunazul, she ends up getting to a brawl with someone after the table next to hers is repeatedly mentioning the conquests and graphic detail of what has happened to unnamed people (unnamed nationalistic person). Ends up intensely cold, getting up from her seat, and nearly beating the man unconscious with far too much wrath in her body; she rushes out of the bar and has a sobbing breakdown several blocks away.

A confrontation of “Red” that she remembers time and time again; a consistent night terror that follows her nd makes her unable to sleep some nights; actively ‘speaks’ to it while in sleep paralysis and it acknowledges her well. Scene usually ends up with “Red” above her, face reveals to be face heavily mutilated and gouged, screaming loudly and repeatedly at Sophie.

A shutdown in public when there are large amounts of traffic near her because a detour led her to the highway; leading her to hide somewhere and refusing to come out until “they drive away,” which makes her miss the day she’s meant to be working at Miya’s detective office. 

A short meeting with one of her neighbor’s children, a young 26-year-old working at a hospital in Central and professor at UCAT, still wearing their scrubs and the heavy smell of ammonia on them. The image itself leaves Sophie cutting conversation short and retreating to her apartment. 

- - -

Sophie Hatter is a 20-year-old facing the aftermath of exile from her own country and self and the trauma coming with displacement and surviving the horrors of the world. She is by no means a hopeless case or a lost cause. 

But, she is someone who is going to go through development as someone who struggles constantly: as someone who is unsure of what to do with her life, as much as she wants to live normally, her stability and infrastructure has been destroyed her very eyes. She attempts to reconstruct herself but fails to realize how that’d harm her because she is actively avoiding what has happened to her and denies herself that all of this happened. 

She believes she can “make up” for something she calls an inadequacy and blames herself for. She “makes up” for it by being a community figure in a place that she would never feel right in or safe in; she "makes up” for it by being a reputable person who would never turn down anyone and offers help whenever she can; she “makes up” by continuously lying to herself and hurting herself. 

Part of her screams, another part weeps; one part wants to take vengeance, tear apart everything, and the other wants to curl up and lose herself to the numbness. But, she persists in her hurt with a solution that even worsens these parts that want comfort and healing. 

It is a difficult reality she must navigate, which is difficult because she is alone.

No matter how anyone looks at it, the path of exile is a lonesome one when you do not recognize there are someone else’s footprints on the dirt road. Her feet are long tired, dirtied, and bloodied by how far she dragged herself across this time to figure herself out.... But, with each passing day, it seems she’s getting further and further out from anyone’s reach, and before she knows it, she’ll be going down a path of destruction that’d engulf those around her in ash, fire, and death. 

[po1ypear1]

Always: Be greatful for the happiness feelings you feel every single day. 

Recognize when the right opportunity is before you and say yes. But if you dont, know the boat will come again, and know your reason for missing it.

Plans and day dreams are nice, but let them be free. Watch out for getting to attatched. We prefer general headings. 

Remember watching, “How To Be Single” and feeling like this was your time to enjoy being single while in this stage of self descovery. To remember learning how to date, how to talk to people, and how to hold onto your own identify.

Find and Do No Matter Where You Are: 

Play with improv people. 

Take singing lessons

Keep making your moon calanders! Study Astrology.

Everything written here has placed a call to me, and is currently waiting, patiently on hold.

Make movies. Research bus channels. Consider yours.

Act/Perform. Read poetry, stories and speaches to people from mobile sets in character. 

Once Home: Set Some Shit Straight: 

Invest! Talk to one of those guys who makes your money make money.

Sort out your taxes, health care, and province of residing. Get GST number for a small, legit paper trail and to justify the cerb minimum income requirements. 

Lazer hair removal.  

Get a proper ear stretching kit. Good quality solar powered, phone charging, water proof, blue tooth, multi speaker linkons, portable speaker. 

Books: Anatomy for the artist.  A massive “learn to read the stars” astrology book, total “yoga poses” reference guide.  

Home for Christmas would be nice. 

Ask grandma and grandpa a hundred questions. 

Watch tissue movies with mom. 

Organize family activities, skating, toboganing, holrac park. Snowboarding trip?  

Propose bio mobile bus/prototype build to dad  

Have a Dance in Golden and visit kyle…   

First summer with the bio-biel. Climb mountains. Serve A Vapassana.  Learn Gin Shin Do from a master. Visit the landing. 

Do you still wanna train hop? this is probably a better sooner then later activity.  

Winter town! Seasonal job. Collect thousands of dollars for passing go.

My Karman Line: Learn about starting a business. Event Organizer/Project Manager. Online Careers. How to become a home care assistant. 

Stationary Routine breads clarity and focus. New Places are exciting, stimulating, inspiring, and distracting. 

Biofuel Home Bus:  

MIDNIGHT IDEA* bus so I dont have to pay rent while going to school/studying to get the job that will allow me to work and live around the world. hense vegabonding after bussing. No roommates, no rent, no part time job money worries, small space, less mess, fewer distractions. I can work part time if I want to, not cause I have to. I can be close to school, no comute, close to my kichen, less money spent eating out. I feel the time for study is getting closer.

I like the idea of bus before boat, cause when I get land the bus is home base while I build. Then the bus is safely left on the property. The boat is a little less safe left in the water.

You’d think I would vegabond before biofuel, but i just got a craving…. then I got an incling, “maybe these arnt one time phases.” Sail boat life, Bus life, House life, Back-pack life. and they keep heluxing round and round. And there’s always new hobbies, interests, self discoveries and purposes. With constant sweet notes of good food, friendship, discovery. And never ending curiosity. 

 There’s no correct order, or direct timeline. Remove the 5 hinderances, and listen to what the moon says is best for you right now. 

Vegabond. Live, Work and Study in so many other countries.You can do this after 35 aswell. You can find amazing work oportunities that don’t require the permit, that will sponsor a permit, that wants to marry you. Or you’ll fit into the specialist or exeption section. You’re not necessarily looking for a typical, need a working vissa job anyway. Plus, some countries might not have this restriction, you never looked for your self. 

We were talking with Josie the other day and we got on to the different types of lives on the security-adventure scale. For argument sake, we named 4 main ones. The people who never leave the towns they grew up in, the ones who do but settle some where, the ones who move every so often, keeping it fresh and the ones who never stop, who, say live out of a back-pack or travel the world on a bike, throwing them selves into the unknown. When she spoke of these people, my heart fluttered…..  

House sit, wwooff, work-away when the world alows open travel again. And maybe Do it by bike? As few planes as possible. LIVE in the cities of the world, get to know them, be a part of them. Know the public places, the baker on the courner, where the oldest trees and stairs are. 

Entreprenuer. Have your own business. Work for your self. 1 (of many, ideas) multi functional bobcat/tractor owner and oporator. 2 Bulk goods supplier.

Homestead. Own Property out right. I will pay for everything up-front, all the money I save on interest by waiting will be trippled by keeping the money invested till there is more then enough for the propert, land and home development. Enough will be left over, and remain invested, to continue growing at a steady, live a comfortable life and travel as I wish, take what ever courses i wish rate.

Kitchen Hack: design cooking area to be re-panted every few years. window sills for herbs to grow. sinks with water spouts that fill in the middle and swivel.    

what an ideal comunity looks like to me: lots of greenery, big old trees, bike and walk friendly, inviting public spaces, big enough that I want to go out and be apart of it, that i have places and people to visit

Raise your kids here, with stability providing safety. Routine creating tradition that will be imprinted in them for ever, every pumpkin pie will make them feel their childhood in fall, and the excitment of starting school again. Let them grow conected to nature and their food. Atleast till 7. Then ask them what they want to do? wanna go to school in the city? wanna live in a bus and travel across the continent? Wanna live in a boat and sail around the world? 

Sail around the world with an electric assist bike and a survival libraray

Return to the nice place, with enough acres for privacy, gardens, animals, out door hot tubs, a green house, all within a food forest and be within walking distance of neighbours and a satisfying community hub. Some people watching spots and art events can be a comfortable scooter ride away. maybe this is the same place as the homestead. Maybe my parents are with my by this point.  

Bio Bus. I’ve been in the office 6 months now, and im starting to want a change. Change just might be my nature. So maybe it’s back to the bus. This time with Gatto, Pero, Pollo, bicicleta and creator machines. Traversing the continent selling soaps, teas, hot snacks wrapped in bees wax at ski hills, soaking potions, spa days at tree planter camps and tickets to movie nights.    

[prorevenge]

Getting rid of employees can be costly.

Well, I had sort of forgotten about this but was reminded by an old colleague last week. It involved me (ME), Old Senior Vice President (OldSVP), new Senior Vice President (NewSVP) and a ton of HR people.

I was working at a tech company about 8 years ago. At the time, I had put in about 6 years of service and was pretty happy with it. The company was (and still is) pretty leading in it's field, but not terribly large - under 2000 employees. It was one of these places often seen as a great place to work, good work/life balance etc. I had held a few technical roles but when this story happened, I was heading up a project management group. Pretty tightly knit team, 5-6 guys, all very nice and capable. Most of them I had employed myself or was instrumental in hiring. The company had a pretty big project upcoming, and I was horizontally promoted to assistant VP, basically being the right hand guy for the OldSVP. (We had like 6 SVP's in the company, so that was sort of a big job, only second to the CEO).

I was running the big project, working closely with the OldSVP whom I had known for several years and we worked together great. I was making pretty good money at the time - around 120k/year which for that position was very good. The big project completed, and I was given some bonuses and career recognition, which was nice, but not really a big deal for me. Then it happened - one of the SVP's who had been working in the states as a lead regional director was moving back home and needed a new position. The OldSVP was degraded (various reasons, but he was originally hired by another CEO, so it was the usual corporate BS political stuff).

OldSVP was pretty upset and quit after a few months. No worries. Now, as my big project had completed, I had been gone from my department for 12 months - half way through I was asked if I wanted to continue in that capacity when I was ready, or if I wanted to be "degraded" to being a regular PM, but with same pay/contract. I preferred working as a PM, and put up one of my colleagues as department head. He was a nice guy, 15 years older than me, not a great PM, but a good people person and manager - and had run a similar department prior to working with us. He was super happy to get the job and everything was good.

Now, NewSVP who had been working abroad for 5-6 years returned and took over the reigns. I had met him several times, and liked his no BS management style, so I expected us to hit it off. For various reasons, I quickly discovered that he was on a major power trip. The sort of guy who is super nice and flexible when around the other SVP's and CEO but as soon as you had him alone in a room he was bloody nuts. He had unreasonable demands in every way possible. Unrealistic targets, management by fear and so forth. A full blown psycho. I, and several colleagues were shocked. But we were making good money, and most people directly in contact with him, were 5-10 years in the company and had broad respect in the management level - so we just did our best and tried to avoid his wrath.

As I had been involved in most large projects and been doing a lot of PA stuff for the OldSVP, I quickly ended up working a lot with NewSVP. In the beginning it was okay, but he became more and more enraged with minor problems and issues, and quickly started firing people left and right. One of our group managers was fired by email on the day after christmas - with over 90 staff on CC, because NewSVP didn't know how to use outlook. It was crazy.

HR department was bewildered and had weekly meeting (shouting meetings) with newSVP. Well, after a while he cooled towards me and sent me back in my old department (under my old employee/group lead) which was fine. A few of the PM's got stressed out and one quit, so we were very busy. I ended up running way too many projects. One of our last big clashes was his unreasonable requirements for me to fly to far away places (10-15 hour flights) to attend simple meeting we'd usually handle over the phone. After 3 weeks of travelling, he demanded me doing another 2 weeks on another continent, and I refused. His rage grew even bigger when he found out I was on a old contract - old contract guys flew business class or first. So I was racking up tens of thousands of dollars on airfare and hotels, while other PM's had to fly cattle class. NewSVP had no idea, and his power play had backfired. He was pissed.

Now while this was happening, my wife was expecting our second child, now, In my country this is a pretty big deal, as parents can take 12 months (by law) leave - and the company pays the first 3 months - and the state pays you like 50% of full salary the last 9 months. Usually dad takes like a month, and mom takes 11. That was "common" back then. However, my wife was not working, so I could theoretically take 12 months - but had requested just 3 months, at the time. I sent the request to my team manager. Now, NewSVP had an alliance with another department head and they began creating static as to my performance. Honestly, I was doing everything right, but not walking the extra mile -as our relationship was so poor now. I was just "sticking to the rules". In all regards, reporting, timesheets, vacation time etc etc.

This alliance to undermine me, of course worked and my team manager called me to a meeting and complained about all of these "complaints" put towards me. They were of course all from newSVP and this one other manager (his friend). However these complaints were never filed in writing and I was never given any formal warnings.

Just a few weeks before my wife is to give birth, it dawns on newSVP that I'm going on leave for 3 months. He is raving mad a bout this, as it will mess up some of the projects i'm running. (I was running at 120% capacity already). I had given notice to this like 6 months earlier but for some reason it had escaped his attention. I had done everything right with HR and team lead. He was pissed. We had a meeting where he basically said he did not want me to come back. But didn't fire me. (Firing someone during leave, is like the biggest no-no in employer law in our country. The fines are huge and the courts always side with employees on this stuff).

So here comes the pro-revenge. Just prior to starting leave, I file a request with HR to extend the leave to 12 months instead of three. I made the cutoff by like 5 days. They emailed me back (none the wiser to the bigger picture). I go on leave. During the first month, I get a million emails and calls about all sorts of extra things I was handling (outside my actual job description) and I helped colleagues and generally ignored managers. They had no right to contact me, but I was nice about it. 2 months in, i'm called to a meeting with HR. I go to the meeting. NewSVP is in his office, sees me come in, looks self-content and I go to meet the very new and naive HR girl. HR girl opens up at me - NewSVP has this huge list of stuff I had supposedly done wrong - as soon as my leave ends they want me gone. Leave ends in 1 month, so they will give me 3 months severance- fuck me. I laugh. I don't tear into her, I just politely make a few points - leave is ending in 10 months - not one - as per my request (I had the emails printed out etc). I'm on old contract so severance is 6 months, i'm on the old stock programme, so I get bonuses etc. She freezes. Then freaks out - "YOU HAVE 12 MONTHS LEAVE AND NEWSVP SENT ME TO FIRE YOU 2 MONTHS IN????!" She knows they are toast. I'm like, yeah, so see you in court. She scurries away, gets the HR SVP, whom I by chance know quite well, and she says - lets do a new meeting. We'll get back to you.

Then I begin the scheduling game. They have no technical right to contact while i'm on leave - so I drag meeting planning out for months. Oh, i'm sick, yes, I have time 2 months from now, bla bla. **The trick is, NewSVP can't hire someone new, until i'm off the books. Company policy.**

And hiring someone for my job, while i'm on leave, is the SECOND biggest no no in my countrys employer laws. Eventually HR director calls me up and is like "ok, what do you want". Well, I ended up with 12 months full pay, fully vested stock options, full company bonus, full department performance bonus, free phone and internet for a year, two free laptops, a free phone and full insurance etc for a year. Altogether more than 150k usd. And I was free to work again while they were paying my 1 year salary. I took the jump and opened my own consulting company, and i'm happier than ever.

After this mess, colleagues were shocked at what had happened, so I took it upon myself to help one of my headhunter friends poach their key employees. After 3 months NEWSVP was moved to a smaller position and after a year, fired. His career never recovered and he is now doing halfassed management consulting from his home office, making less in a year than I do in a month. Not bad. Oh, twice He applied to jobs in companies I was working at as a freelancer. I can't say I was instrumental in him not getting those jobs.....

(source) (story by qwerty_2100)

[magicianmew]

In defense of staying home

Ok, I have something to say, inspired by the little mini rant I just had in response to some stuff @orriculum is dealing with and posting about, and I figured I’d just get my own damn post rather than eating hers entirely.

I follow a lot of people who are college-ish age -- kinda very late millennial, very early Gen Z. I feel like I’ve been seeing a lot of this lately.

People being pressured to travel or move far away from home to “expand their mind.” Spend a year abroad, or move to LA for your career, or whatever the fuck it is.

Gen Z, by all appearances and by all studies, seems to be a more community- and home-focused generation. I mean, makes sense honestly. It’s the generation immediately following families splitting up cross country trying to find work. Why wouldn’t you want to try to foster your communities? But apparently this is annoying to y’all’s parents.

Let me tell you something.

I am 29, and I have spent half of my adulthood traveling or living very far from home, in spates of 2 to 3 years continuously, both abroad and through my very large country.

I have been that fearless crazy bitch out here by herself with no safety net and nothing more than 5 bucks in my pocket, either on the other side of an ocean from home, or with no home left to go back to at all.

And you wanna know how I feel, at the end of all that?

If I could have lived my life over again, I would have traveled less.

Far less. I never would have gone from home for more than a month or two. And when I finally realized I was wasting my time, I moved back to my home country, went to a cool little city in the South, got a little place to myself, and settled into a nice quiet life, where I spend a lot of time with my local community. I have no desire to ever go back to that life again, and I wish I had realized that sooner, because the truth is I can’t remember any point beyond the first few months where I actually enjoyed it.

I will tell you why.

People are people no matter where you go. This apartment is not that different from that apartment. And while cultures are different, that is something it is possible to learn about to some degree at home, and whether you require a deeper understanding than what you can get at home entirely depends on what you WANT.

You will only learn what you want to learn. That is why all these yuppies who spent a year in France or whatever come home and are just as unbearable and ignorant as they were before. They didn’t wanna learn anything. They just wanted to be able to say they spent a year in France so the plebes would feel shitty about themselves.

Traveling will only “expand your mind” if that is what you are genuinely looking for from traveling.

But you can also expand your mind in school, or working for underserved communities in your area, or through hobbies, or spirituality, or doing a million other things. Fucking off to another state, or another continent is not the only way of expanding your mind. And frankly, anyone who’s gonna sit here and argue that you need to do that in order to understand things like basic human empathy and reciprocity has something wrong with them.

Our society treats traveling as a sign of social clout -- something you’re privileged enough to do, which of course makes you better and smarter than everyone else. The idiocy of this is palpable. I mean, Trump’s traveled a lot, and the man can hardly read.

Briefly, traveling does not make you more mature, or more knowledgable, or even more worldly, necessarily. It depends how you do it, and whether you’re engaged enough in the process to actually take anything in from it. And beyond that, you can do other stuff that accomplishes the same goals right where the fuck you are.

Traveling, in and of itself, is a neutral. It is not always a “better” choice.

I don’t know why this doesn’t get talked about more, because here’s the thing. I don’t think I’m the only one to reach this conclusion at the end of it all.

When you travel extensively, you meet a lot of other travelers, immigrants, and relocators. We sort of form temporary communities. And I’ll be honest: most of these communities are not very happy places.

There are a lot of people who are struggling -- financially obviously, but also mentally. Leaving your community is very hard on the mind. It’s one of the reasons it drives me mental when people say immigrants “have it easy.” Even if they stay put after they move, it takes many years for your brain to adjust. It’s hard. Really hard. Depression after moving abroad is so common as to be virtually expected.

No one likes to talk about that. At least not until they’re about 6 drinks deep. But the fact that they get 6 drinks deep often enough for it to be a regular topic of conversation kind of proves my point, eh? And, like me, most of us quit and ultimately go home. I did wind up in another state, but that was mostly because I had no family left in my birth state, and I figured I might as well go for better weather.

Despite this very obvious and common self-destructive behavior within our communities, most travelers would never admit this sort of thing to other people. And I get why -- I’ve been there. We give up a lot to live out that dream, and we have a lot of nay-sayers telling us we can’t do it. The last thing we wanna admit is that we did it, and now we’re struggling.

Everyone thinks it’s really cool and amazing, and we kind of want to let them believe that’s actually true. We kinda wanna let people believe London is more than just another dirty crowded megacity (and not even a very good one, imho...). We kinda wanna let people believe that seeing starving children or helping in war zones was all literal white-knighting, not nightmares that still keep us up at night.

And that isn’t to say there aren’t people for whom traveling or moving far from home really is for them, and the path they stay committed to and happy with. But even for them, there are some really hard parts. And there’s stuff you give up. And we don’t get to talk about that outside of our temporary communities.

But also, for many of us, we decide it wasn’t really for us, and we go home. And society treats that as shameful, somehow. As if loving our home enough to return to it is some kind of personal failing. Like... how dare we think our own community is good enough to spend time around?

But you know what? I’m still happy to be back. And I’m never leaving again.

My years traveling were an outgrowth of a childhood in which I was raised without proper, invested relationships. I didn’t know I was a community-type person, because I had never had a community. So I traveled because I didn’t know what else to do, and as a way to differentiate myself, and make it clear that I wasn’t gonna be like the shitty people I grew up around. It took me all the way until my late 20′s to figure out that all I really wanted was a home that felt like home. It took me all that time to figure out why traveling wasn’t “making me a better person” the way everyone said it would.

And although I can’t regret it, because if I hadn’t done it I might never have figured that out, I wish I’d had that knowledge about myself earlier on so I could have saved myself a lot of years of confusion and wasted time and wondering what was wrong with me that I accomplished my dream, and still wasn’t happy.

So you know what, guys?

If you wanna travel, travel. It has good points -- especially if you’re invested in the process. It can change you. It can grow you. It can help you find where you belong in life.

But if you wanna stay home and knit and hang out with your friends from high school and marry your college sweetheart and help raise kittens at your local shelter and not go anywhere for more than a week?

Fucking do that. It is going to expand your mind, and your heart, way more than any sort of social display of class privilege for taking a year in France.

[drist-n-dither]

Novel Prep

WIP: The Ave’s Egg

Thanks to @urbanteeth, this is extremely long so I will put a keep reading! 

(let me know if anyone made it to the bottom of the post!)

First Look

1. Describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch)

Lania, a young princess, and her family must mediate a treaty to end a war, but it seems not every side wants peace to settle over the waring countries. Lost and confused Lania finds herself right in the middle of the conflict and must fight to get her way home under life threatening conditions.

2. How long do you plan for your novel to be? (Is it a novella, single book, book series, etc.)

I plan on making this story as one part to a four part story. Lania is not the main protagonist in each of the books but she is there and plays a very pivotal point to the greater plot. So If all goes well this series will be a quartet! The Ave’s Egg itself should be in the range of 50,000 to 70,000 words as it is a young adult book. Although, since it’s still barley starting in the rough draft stage we will have to see. 

3. What is your novel’s aesthetic?

Long travel, earned sweat, constellations, russet reds, brilliant blues, wide dunes, sea stained clothes, coastal views, warm lights, jungle, empty cups, bells, blood, muddied feet.  (mood boards to come dearies!) 

4. What other stories inspire your novel?

All of Tamora Peirce’s books because she is my favorite authors, also she writes  about many themes that i highly value and wish to address as well. The Golden Compass, and The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle. Each have very diverse stories about young women in their childhood and really inspired me as I grew. 

5. Share 3+ images that give a feel for your novel

Main Character

6. Who is your protagonist?

Lania is my main Protagonist. She is a princess in the realm of Trenear. She is well trained in culture, language, trade, and for formal duels in the name of her family. She is 14 years old and the daughter of the Empress regent. Her great grandmother marked the beginning of the Age of the Dragon, Lania and her siblings age has yet to be named or spoken for. 

7. Who is their closest ally?

Lania’s closest Ally is her older brother Napaul. He is 17 years old and the biggest heart in the family under his father. He listens to her as an equal and expects the best from her. She respects and loves him immensely. Where Lania is very rough and loud with her frustrations her is very raw and emotional. There is trust in their emotional vulnerability and in their weakness. Also, they both find each other incredibly hilarious. Aside from Napaul, her family is really her strongest and most plentiful support. 

8. Who is their enemy?

Lania’s enemy is the unknown. It’s all that rests outside of her palace walls. Her enemy is the distance between her families hearts and her own. It’s the plans of those who wish to harm her family made in whispers. 

9. What do they want more than anything?

She more than anything wants to get back to her home, to her family, to the familiar, and safety.

From my eyes,  if she forgot home for a second she would realize she just wants to feel less scared about everything. About having to live. Having to move forward. 

10. Why can’t they have it?

A war and a divine conflict. Her Blood and an Oath. 

and for that second part, she is just a child and she must grow and experience first. 

11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?

That she doesn’t have a responsibility to the world outside of her own family and their name and title.

12. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description)

Drawn by my closest friend @sweatersgalore !!

She is around 5′6, lean and muscular. She has a strong jaw and long face with a hooked nose. Thick waves and loosely curled black hair, very dense and long. Her bangs sit on top of her eyebrows and make a crescent shape hugging her high cheekbones. Braids riddle her hair to keep it from all crowding her face and hands. Her eyes are silver and her eyes are almond shaped. 

Plot Points

13. What is the internal conflict?

Lania feels completely safe at home and wants her family to all stay together. With everyone leaving she doesn't want to be left behind and she doesn't want to leave the palace either. Later she deals with guilt and feeling inept, forgetting her own skills and memory of her worth. 

14. What is the external conflict?

There is a feuding war, the natural elements as she is lost on another continent, she is fleeing and continually trying to overcome obstacles in her path to get back home. 

15. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist?

Well that is the story, probably too many spoilers if I told you that. Lets just say that the worse things that could happen to her do. Although there isn’t any sexual violence or family abuse in the story, I don’t feel like it belongs in her story. 

16. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?

Who caused all of the families and the realms troubles. Identities will be revealed as well maybe for the benefit of our hero. 

17. Do you know how it ends?

Yes! I’ve already begun plotting for the next book very lightly while I'm writing the rough draft of this story.

Bits and Bobs

18. What is the theme?

One of the themes is creating a name for ones self. 

19. What is a reoccurring symbol?

Rebirth

20. Where is the story set? (Share a description!)

The story is set in three distinct locations! (it’s not quite in order or all of the locations but these make up a great deal of the story) 

The first is Trenear. Which is Lania’s homeland and is along the mediterranean coast. It’s a country thats at it’s best right now. It’s fairly rich due to it’s accessibility along the water and its unending source of natural elements at their feet. It’s heavy in trade and artistry and many cultures and people pass through.

The second is Amurid. Who's environment is jungle. Their buildings and architecture is wide and laid out but beautifully orchestrated in color and structure. The air is thick there and heavy, wildlife is mischievous and roams freely through out the kingdom. 

The third is the Valundrin Desert on the outsides of Coyi, between Amurid. It is blisteringly hot and deep dunes paint its landscape. The sand in this land is deep purple. Pockets of Helium escape from the ground below and create something quite more worrisome than quick-sand, literal rivers made of sand. From the surface they can barely be distinguished from normal resting sand though!  

21. Do you have any images or scenes in your mind already?

Yes! Quite a few that I get desperately excited about, and some that I sit on the bus to school and nearly cry over. I’m very visual so it I can play the events smoothly in my head I should eventually be able to write them. 

22. What excited you about this story?

I was very excited about the world building elements and the fantasy setting that i’ve slowly been weaving together. I love stories that revolve around young children where they have so much to see and so far to go. I’m also excited for the over arching story because Lania’s story is just the pillar where she stands on when the larger story gets introduced. I’m excited to really just let my mind explore and have fun. To really be free of the contracts I’ve put on myself before. 

23. Tell us about your usual writing method!

Oh man, I’m trying to pull that together right now. For now I’m doing a lot of prepping and organizing. I’m really trying to decide what is necessary for the story and what elements I can raise up and amplify and which can get erased or morphed to be more beneficial to the story. I want to create a goal soon to sit down everyday and work on my WIP it doesn’t have to be purely the word count but even just writing and pondering things that could happen or how scenes might play out. Or maybe even just world building since I enjoy it so much. 

Tagging those who have shared interest in The Ave’s Egg or those who might want to do the tag feel no pressure! : @lonely-pages-of-ink @incandescent-creativity @lillayalightfoot @esoteric-eclectic-eccentric @bexminx @dionian-gayce @raevenlywrites @marniewrite @a-place-of-babble @littlesilverlightning @idreamonpaper @morriganwrites-0124 @cosmosbv @kometa-makes-art @ad-drew @writerofwriting @writings-of-a-narwhal @ghostwriteblr @bergamotstreet @all-bridges-will-burn @writer-on-time @the-forgotten-traveller @whatsanwritepocalae @dreameronthewind @siriuslyprocrastinating @idreamtofreality @floralandrogyny @jessica-shouldbewriting @monstrouswrites @inexorableblob @fragrant-stars

let me know as always if you want to be off my tag list!

[writingonesdreams]

Novel Prep Tag Game

Original tag game by @gottaenjoythelittlethingzz. The questions are great, so I wanted to participate - it made me look at my WIP from a new angle, so thanks! 

Rules: Answer the questions and then tag as many writers as there are questions answered (or as many as you can) to spread the positivity! Even if these questions are not explicitly brought up in the novel, they are still good to keep in mind when writing.

1. Describe your novel in 1-2 sentences (elevator pitch)

A wolf that can take on a human form befriends a human boxer Rhys and accompanies him on his journey across the desolated wastelands between the big cities to find his little brother Oliver. On the way they meet the thoughtful scribe Anise and are followed by the dedicated hunter Cole. 

2. How long do you plan for your novel to be? (Is it a novella, single book, book series, etc.)

A novel for now. 

3. What is your novel’s aesthetic?

Desolated wastelands, big cities scattered across the continent, dried up earth, sand and dust, wind, cloudy and misty weather, dust and smoke covering the atmosphere, wolfs, ruins of smaller cities and villages

4. What other stories inspire your novel?  

Mostly anime series like Wolf’s rain, Megalo Box, Banana Fish, books like Darker shade of Magic, Outsiders by S.E. Hinton, White Fang by Jack London 

5. Share 3+ images that give a feel for your novel

6. Who is your protagonist?  

Vincent, the wolf, that was seperated from his pack and aimlessly traveled human cities. He takes on the human form to fit in with humans and to hide from hunters. 

7. Who is their closest ally?

Vincent meets and befriends Rhys, the reckless and driven boxing prodigy that needed help to cross the desert to reach his hometown to reunite with his younger brother Oliver, he didn’t see in 6 years. Vincent grows quite attached to him, starts to feel responsible and incredibly protective of him. Rhys has bit of intimacy issues, but learns to trust Vincent and regards him as sort of a brother. 

8. Who is their enemy?

Cole, the disciplined and dedicated hunter. He trained boxing and martial arts with Rhys and joined the hunter association to hunt and sell wolf’s skin. His father is the ruler of Holland, charged with Amsterdam - the most populated city of the West (since all people live in the few big cities left) Cole’s parents have made him see wolves as enemies for infiltrating human cities. Cole made it his goal to hunt them to meet his father’s vision of protecting people from the wolves. He is perfectionalist obsessed with improvement - he wants to create order in the chaos the world was left in after the catastrophe and is willing to do anything for it. His goal to hunt wolves is based on this desire to improve the world. 

9. What do they want more than anything?

Vincent wants to be loved and needed, a part of a family or pack so he could have somewhere to belong to.

Rhys wants to find his younger brother, but what he actually needs is to find peace of mind. He wants to prove himself and have someone to believe in him.

Anise wants to find meaning and purpose in the starving world around her where everything has to have a purpose and people try so hard to survive, yet forget to actually live. She wants to collect and organises books, since she values knowldge and firstly joins the duo to search for new books in the abondened cities. 

Cole wants to improve the world and create order and security.

10. Why can’t they have it?

Vincent can’t be with his original pack, because wolves are hunted by humans and it’s easier and safer to travel alone then in groups. 

Rhys feels worthless for only knowing how to fight and wants to reunite with his brother, because that was the last time he felt full and at peace. But since they parents divorced and he didn’t get along much with his father, he didn’t see either his mother or brother in last 6 years and spent them in fights a lot. Now he doesn’t know if he has any worth outside of fighting and that’s what makes him restless and self-destructive. 

Anise works as a scribe and teacher, because that’s the role people consider useful in this decayed world. She doesn’t believe all that much in her work, because she thinks people should be learning from books from Before the apocalypse and not just recording what happened After. 

Cole considers wolves to be the natural enemies to safety of  humans since the discovery of their ability to take on human forms. He doesn’t understand how they survived after majority of animals and natural life perished and fears they want to take over humans.  

11. What do they wrongly believe about themselves?

Rhys believes he has to fight everything to prove his worth and that emotions and needing help are a sign of weakness.

Vincent believes he can’t have a family or bonds anymore because he is a wolf in a human world.

Anise believes her life doesn’t have meaning outside of collecting knowledge.

Cole believes he can improve the world by hunting down something he doesn’t understand. 

12. Draw your protagonist! (Or share a description)

Vincent looks like a slim young boy with messy dark brown hair, pale skin and  icy blue eyes in his human form. In his original wolf from he is a white wolf with amber-yellow eyes.

Rhys is muscular and tall with dark olive skin, black curly hair and dark eyes. He is covered in scars, most notably on his arms and on his right cheek. 

Anise has long blond wavy hair, grey eyes and ivory skin. 

Cole is tall, but less muscular then Rhys. He has black hair falling in his green eyes and fair skin.

Plot Points

13. What is the internal conflict?

Rhys is so set on fighting and reaching his external goal - reuniting with his brother and protecting him - that he doesn’t realize he actually needs to accept himself and his faults and find internal peace in caring about people and living with them. He needs to realize he doesn’t have to prove anything, doesn’t have to be strong every minute to be useful and worthy of love and recognition. 

Vincent mostly only has a bit conflicted emotions regarding his storng protective feeling towards a human, when humans are the ones that drew his pack apart and hunted him for so long. Otherwise he just wants to belong somewhere and enjoys his new pack.

Anise wants to find meaning - she was afraid to want anything, always concerned only with activities that were neccessary for survival or for being useful in the dying society that has few resources. She values knowledge and wants to find and collect the books left abondened through out the country, so the cognition of the pre-apocaliptic world would be saved. Through knowing Rhys and Vincent she sees how someone can still have desires and enjoy simple pleasures like watching stars or dancing and finds her meaning in living, fullfilling her dreams in hunting for the lost books. 

Cole struggles to improve the world but isn’t going about it in the right way. 

14. What is the external conflict?

The journey to cross the wastelands is difficult and is very rare for someone to attempt to go on one. People are gathered only in their big cities, valuing their resouces while other cities and the country have been abondened. Smaller cities that still have inhabitants are rules by violent gangs, the routes are long and one needs a lot of supplies since there is nothing on the way to eat or drink, with unpredictible weather and frequent sand storms. 

Additionally Vincent is hunted by Cole and since Rhys defends him, he is in danger too. 

15. What is the worst thing that could happen to your protagonist?  

Rhys failing to find and care for his younger brother, which he would see as a sign he is worthless and deserves all the bad that happened to him. 

Vincent never having a pack again and no one he could be himself with. 

Anise staying static, living a planned out life in the city full of anxious people and doing something she doesn’t believe in. 

Cole feeling like he failed to contribute to helping the world get better. 

16. What secret will be revealed that changes the course of the story?  

It's not that much of a secret as a bit of a plot twist that Oliver, the younger brother that the main characters looked for the whole time, actually didn't want to be found and wasn't very keen on seeing his older brother again, since he was very angry with him. But the issue gets solved, when the brothers reconcile at the end.

17. Do you know how it ends?  

Not exactly sure, just that Vincent, Rhys, Anise, Oliver and maybe Cole stay together, either make a living by continuing to travel and collecting lost objects or finding place to stay and build together.

18. What is the theme?  

What self-worth is based on for people - family, higher purpose, dreams, success, abilities.  Finding a meaning, fullfilling a purpose or recovering when one’s purpose or dream was lost. Having dreams and meaning when the world is falling apart starved and if every activity has to have a point and what does it mean.

19. What is a reoccurring symbol?  

Wolf, moon, wind, clouds, dust, whirlwind, books 

20. Where is the story set? (Share a description!)  

The story is set in post-apocalyptic future Europe, where earth has dried up and smoke and dust have cover the sun to the point that it’s hard for people to survive. So people migrated from all over the country into big cities, where they live very closely together. The land inbetween pretty much turned to uninhabitable wasteland, with many cities and villages left empty. 

21. Do you have any images or scenes in your mind already?  

Yes I have several scenes in my head, that I’m working on connecting into a logical plot. 

22. What excited you about this story?

The growing trust and protectiveness between Vincent and Rhys, the bonds Vincent forms with Anise and Oliver, how the enstraged brothers Rhys and Oliver reconcile again and Cole’s transition from an enemy to friend. I’m also exicited about Anise’s romance with Rhys, who at first challanges her views and believes. Also Cole serves as the main bad guy, but is actually an antagonist, who will redeem himself and befriend the other characters in the process. 

23. Tell us about your usual writing method!  

I always start with characters that I stick in different scenarios or in my favourite movies and series or books and let them interact. From those I mostly get inspiring scenes that I try to connect through a plot. Afterwards I work on characterisation, world-building, research details and outline stuff a bit. I also write little snippets that sometimes turn long and can be used as chapters. 

[financiallymint]

Experiment 8: Backpacking and Studying in South America

I’m back!

You may have noticed a little less activity on social media and generally on Financially Mint in the last few months. Reason: the author (yes me) went a little crazy, decided to go travelling and never come back (and now I’m back). It was an amazing 3 months: I started in Buenos Aires, Argentina, and went all the way through to Santiago, Chile, up to Peru and then over to Bolivia. 4 countries, one backpack and an intrigued solo traveller. Of course, it was amazing; I did things I had never dreamt of doing (touching dinosaur footprints) and met people I didn’t know could exist (a horse psychologist??).

But I also learnt a lot. Not just about myself, but about the world, and people. I learnt a lot and it wasn’t until I had been back for 2 weeks and had was back in a routine that I realised how much I had learnt. So, of course, I’m writing a post about it: 5 things I learnt backpacking round South America.

1. You can study and travel

This trip was an experiment; I wanted to see if I could study, work and travel at the same time. I study online at The Open University (post on that coming soon) and I work as a digital marketing freelancer on the side. Throughout the travels I had to keep studying, turning in assignments on time and keeping up to date. With the freelancing, I dropped most of my clients and told them I’d be back in a few months.

So did it work? Kind of. I was able to study and turn in my assignments, but any attempts to work went out the window. I answered emails and did admin, but proper work was pretty much impossible. Sleeping in hostels and with couchsurfers meant I hardly ever had some quiet time and couldn’t really concentrate. But that was fine, because I was ready – I had 3 months of blog posts written and not much freelancing to do.

I study maybe 3/4 hours a week with the OU, and what’s cool with travelling alone is that I could rearrange my day around getting my studying done – study in the morning, tourist in the afternoon. A pretty cool arrangement (which was completely shattered the minute my friend from the US came to do Peru with me, since it was harder to manage my time). I also must mention that I am half Spanish and therefore could communicate easily with locals – a great advantage, I realised during the trp.

So you say: ‘Great! Studying and travelling sounds amazing! I’d love to do that too, but how on baby’s Earth do I finance it? I’m already broke as a student, where would I get the money to travel around South America???’.

Well my dear student friends, let me tell you something: those three months cost me around £3,000, excluding the plane ticket. £3,000. Think about it. Is it really that much?

If you got a job, even a student job, applied the 15% rule and budgeted correctly, you’d get to that number in no time. Next thing you know you’re getting a degree and travelling! I’m not saying you have to do it, I’m saying is that it’s possible.

2. Travelling doesn’t have to be expensive

Moving on from the last point: my trip cost me £3,500 in total, this time including all plane tickets, accommodation, food, trips, tours and souvenir llama jumpers. At first it may seem like a lot, but the budget was £1,000 of expenses a month, which ain’t too bad if you ask me.

Related: Mastering the art of travelling on a student budget

So why was it so cheap? Mostly because I did quite a lot of couchsurfing, did a 2 week workaway, hostel home cooking and also the fact that South America is a cheaper continent (yay!). But the most interesting part is that I know I could have done this trip on an even lower budget. Think of all these options: working in hostels, doing workaways, au pairing, etc. When I told other travellers my budget was £1,000 a month, they were surprised; most people travel on way lower budgets. Once again… all I’m saying is that it’s possible.

3. Travelling is one of the best forms of education

Why am I so supportive of the whole travel and study idea? Because travelling is one of the best kinds of education you can find. Just as important as a degree (or even more…).

Think about it: you throw yourself into an unknown world, alone and ready to learn. You have to figure out how to get from X to Y without internet, you have to communicate with locals and understand their culture, you get to meet other travellers and make friends. All that is education, because you learn how to be independent, how to relate to others and also you get to know a little more of yourself – something universities don’t really offer.

I’ve done quite a bit of travelling in my short lifetime, but what was different about this trip was the people I met. Some of them inspired me, some intrigued me, and some became my very good friends.

I met this guy in a little town in the south of the wine province in Argentina (Mendoza) called San Rafael. It’s famous for having tons of nature activities and is great for family outings. This friend I made was living in this little town and worked as a rafter on the river. He loved the water and his job was to guide people down the river and save lives. But he was taking it a step further; after seeing how underdeveloped and disorganised tourist information was, he joined up with a developer and was started building an app. This app would help families figure out which cool activity to do, how much it would cost and where it was. I loved it. By day he was a rafter, and on the side he was an app developer – in this little town in the middle of the Mendoza desert. I simply found it inspiring.

You learn so much from the people you meet, it’s quite unbelievable. You learn about their culture, their way of living, their day to day activities (sacrificing a llama fetus before each starting a construction project – Bolivia). And it’s fascinating.

Another important lesson I learnt was how lucky I am to have grown up in a Western country. Peru and Bolivia are lovely places with lovely people, but seeing what corruption, poverty and inflation does to people is heartbreaking. Yes, we’ve got our crazy politicians, fake news and are addicted to technology, but it’s nothing compared to what I saw in some places of SA. Thanks to our society, I am able to travel, earn my own money, get an education, have my own thoughts and express my own opinions. And now I realise, that’s a lot.

4. Travelling alone is LIT

I did the entire of SA alone apart from Peru, where I had planned to meet my friend from California and do the country together. Most were surprised that I would venture into the wild alone – but I was looking for real adventure, and I knew the craziest ones are the ones you do alone.

Travelling alone means meeting a ton of people wherever you go, and it forces you to be sociable. When I travelled with my friend, we stuck together and enjoyed each other’s company – I couldn’t be asked to talk to others. His lack of Spanish meant it wasn’t easy to talk to locals – so we mostly stuck together. It was nice to mix it up with a friend (thanks Ryan), but I was still happy to be overall backpacking by myself.

So I was able to meet a lot of people and go where and when I wanted. After doing a canyon trip in Mendoza, Argentina, I fell in love with the place and wanted to go back and stay some nights there (San Rafael). And guess what? I did exactly that. Boo yeah.

It also meant I could work/study when I wanted to, and that I didn’t have to organise stuff every five seconds for those who didn’t speak Spanish (*cough cough Ryan ;)). So overall, pretty amazing. You should try it.

5. I wasn’t productive

Of course, everything is not always unicorn and rainbows. The trip was awesome, amazing, life-changing. But there was one negative side: I wasn’t productive AT ALL.

Ok yes I did manage to keep up with the studying and some reading, and I did learn a lot from the people and the countries. But I wasn’t making any money, I wasn’t advancing with my career or my ambitions. It may seem frivolous or obvious to someone else, but it wasn’t to me.

So the 3 months were more of a holiday than anything else – which is great, of course, but I felt a slight frustration that I couldn’t get on with my career ambitions, because the constant changes and lack of wifi made it pretty much impossible.

Financially Mint was updated once a week from my stock of pre-written articles. But pageviews considerably decreased due to the lack of marketing, social media activity and interaction with others. Oops.

So yeah, for three months I didn’t do any work, really. And since I’m someone who likes to keep busy and work on my ‘goals’, those hours without wifi stuck waiting for a bus were a little frustrating. I wasn’t challenging myself professionally, something I only realised I missed when I got back to work; that feeling of progress, of reaching goals.

I’m not complaining – I’m simply observing. The the lesson here is: backpacking = holidays. You can’t work online and keep moving about every 3 days. Now I know.

What’s the next trip?

So I’m pretty much done with backpacking – I want to get some real work done and start growing the FM community. Next time I go travelling, it’ll be for 6 months+, something called slow travel. I’m moving from Edinburgh to Barcelona for 4 months, where I’ll be doing an internship (my first 9-5!). And after that… who knows?

What are the plans for Financially Mint?

I put the website growth on pause for 3 months, which meant there was a lot of catching up to do when I got back. But my head is cleared and I feel focused.  After an awesome FI meetup in London and talking to other people working on similar projects, I created some new goals and tasks for FM. This website is my baby, I ain’t giving up now.

So what are some of those goals?

Coaching: I want to try helping other students face-to-face or on Skype. Free of charge, just talking. Contact me if you’re interested in being part of the trial run.

Courses: Apart from the 6 day email course, I haven’t created anything else. In the process of creating budgeting, investing, saving courses. Step-by-step and actionable.

Community: Once I start the courses and coaching, I want to create a community of students – a place where we can all ask questions and learn from each other (Facebook or Slack?)

Social media: As much as I dislike checking my phone every 5 min, I’ve decided to take on a bigger presence on social media. Check FM out on Instagram and LinkedIn!

Projects: I love the topic of Financial Independence, I love how it changes people, gives them hope and teaches them how to enjoy life. We started a podcast with 2 other friends called Financial Independence Europe (yes very original) where we interview people who have reached FI in Europe, figuring out the best countries to work, retire and invest in. Also on track to organising more FI meetups and events in the UK and Spain – Contact me if you’re interested in helping spread the word and make it happen.

So there you go! A little update on Financially Mint and myself, and some interesting lessons on travel. Hope you’ve learnt something and would be interested in hearing people’s thoughts!

[morethanamillennial]

Peace Corps Vs. Teaching Abroad: Finding A Path After Graduation

     In June 2017, I had just gotten back from an amazing experience of living in Europe for 7 months. First studying abroad in Paris, and then going on a three-week tour through the Scottish Highlands, small UK towns, and the AMAZING Snowdonia National Park in Wales (seriously, go look up pictures- LIFE. CHANGING.). With more than 10 more countries checked off in my Been app, I couldn’t wait to get back out into the world to explore some more. But the logistics of, how to pay for it and when I would have the time to go, settled in. The experience solidified my need for adventure and to live abroad once again after graduation. Determined to do just that, I thought of all the ways to make that possible and the most popular ways are either teaching abroad or volunteering in Peace Corps. 

     As my college career at Chestnut Hill College (CHC) came quickly to an end, like most graduates, I had been struggling with what I want to do with my degrees in psychology and global affairs. CHC let me expand my leadership skills, both academically and socially, as well as gave me a place to make new friendships, but figuring out the next steps for my life was on my mind 24/7. But let’s back track for a second.

     I worked all last summer at a camp where I was able to meet girls from around the world in exchange programs working at other camps in the area. They served as my ticket to the world through their stories and adventures. As the end of the summer approached I was getting more questions by friends and family (though mostly family because they want to know what I am doing at all time) about what I was going to do after I graduate. THAT WAS THE MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION! All throughout my last year at university, I continuously was asked the same “what are you planning to do after graduation?”. In August of 2017, I started to sit down to really think about this question because I had no ideaand if anyone reading this is going through something similar I just want to say that THIS IS COMPLETELY NORMAL! I’d say that if you knew what you wanted to do or know where you wanted to apply for jobs, you’re in the minority and I envy you.

     I sat in my room pondering this question with the help of YouTube videos (waaaay too many YouTube videos), books, and talking to my recent graduated friends. I had this dream of serving in Peace Corps, a US government program which sends US citizens to developing countries and work on projects in various fields (environmental, health care, economic development, etc.), ever since I had a teacher in high school who told me all about her experience within the program. I soon realized that after graduation would be the perfect time to do apply due to the long commitment of just over 2 years abroad. I decided to reach out to a recruiter and after many hours at Starbucks and revisions to my resume with his help, I applied to Peace Corps.

     I had applied openly, which basically means that they would take my degrees (in my case global affairs and psychology) and place me in any country with any job they saw me as a good fit in. Quick side note: if there is a specific country or region or job you wanted to do within Peace Corps, I wouldn’t recommend this, but I was up for anything and applying this way would allow me to be considered for more placements which meant more of reality that I would be offered an invitation to serve. So, by August 2017 I was applied to Peace Corps and I started the agonizing waiting game the US government loves to play (no, but seriously if you taking this route be prepared to not hear back for months at a time). This of course gave me more than enough time to constantly worry and debate of whether I will get an interview which would lead to an invitation, but at least the hard part was over- or so naïve Cynthia thought.

     Because I need to have a plan out every aspect of my life (seriously, it’s a problem), I researched other ways I could live abroad after graduation as a backup plan. I looked into nannying, woofing, working in hostels, but one job that stuck out to me was teaching English abroad. So, like everything I do, I turned to google and typed into the search bar “teaching English abroad jobs”. All these sites popped up with schools/ programs all around the world that wanted native English speakers, it was very overwhelming. Some wanted me to have a TEFL certificate (which I do not have), others wanted teaching experience (which I did not have), and others wanted an education degree (which I did not have), and some wanted you to pay to teach (which I was not doing because I am a broke bitch). 

     I had to narrow down my search to a continent and I chose Africa because it holds a special place in my heart after volunteering in Ghana for a period of time after high school. I once again stared at the search bar under the google logo and searched for African teaching positions and ended up finding a request to teach English in Ethiopia, which is in East Africa. I didn’t need a TEFL certificate and I didn’t need to have a teaching degree- PERFECT. I quickly sent my resume and heard a response back in October of 2017 asking for an interview.

     At this point you might be thinking, “wait what about Peace Corps?” Well by the end of the summer I found out I was being considered for a health extension volunteer position in Benin (in West Africa- I had never heard about it before either). I was interviewed by August and then the waiting game started again. I wouldn't hear back from them again until December, but I will come back to that.

     I was offered a position to teach English to third graders by School of Tomorrow in Ethiopia and for something that was supposed to be cause for celebration, it caused a panic for me as the questions came pouring in. Do I turn the position down to wait for Peace Corps? Do I accept the position and continue with Peace Corps if I get in? Do I email Peace Corps and rescind my application??? Needless to say, I was confused. So naturally, I turned to my trusty pros and cons list. In the end I decided to accept the teaching position and not say anything to Peace Corps just in case I didn’t end up getting into Peace Corps.

     I decided to relax now about what I was doing after graduation and when people asked me about what I was doing after graduation, I would just say that I had options and that I was definitely moving to Africa. I was content and happy with that answer because my next adventure was starting to come together, and I would soon be leaving the US for at least a year, YAY! However, in December my world would be turned upside down when I finally I saw an email subject like that read, “Invitation to Serve”. Man did I ugly cry! My years of dreaming to serve in Peace Corps was going to be in a reality! I was going to be leaving September 15, 2018 for Benin as a health extension volunteer BUT (AND THIS IS AN ENORMOUS BUT), I had to pass medical and legal clearances. Long story short, with $1,000 spent, countless appointments at government services and EVERY SINGLE doctor imaginable (I needed teeth x-rays! Like what?!) and almost 4 months later, I did not get cleared to leave for Benin due to my past struggle with mental health. So again, more ugly crying occurred. But I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and Ethiopia was now my next destination!

     It is now July 2018 and I have officially signed my contract with School of Tomorrow in Ethiopia and will be moving there by September 1. I am now preparing for the move of the lifetime by buying the Lonely Planet Ethiopia book and language book, along with the typical FB announcement, and of course dragging all my friends to Ethiopian restaurants to prepare for this next chapter of my life in Ethiopia.

     So, for anyone thinking about what to do after college but know they want to get out to experience the world, look into these options but also the other ones I mentioned. From my experience, you have to be prepared for rejection and countless hours sending out resumes and waiting around for responses if living abroad is something you want to pursue. But the rush when you find out that you’ll be living in another country for a year and traveling as you go, is all worth the stress and uncertainty. I try to remind myself that just because I was brought up to get a conventional 9-5 office job and I have the degrees to potentially do so, does not mean that is what I have to do that anytime soon. There are so many options out there to live abroad and if it’s something you’re personally thinking about, I say GO FOR IT! Travel is the best way to understand and fall in love with yourself on a deeper level. 

     I don’t know what will happen in Ethiopia or the experiences I will get to have, but I do know that it’ll be an adventure. Life is meant to be experienced and that’s exactly what I plan on doing.

Happy travels, Cynthia

[imjustthemechanic]

The Stone Knight

Part 1/? - Two Statues Part 2/? - A Curious Interview Part 3/? - John Doe Part 4/? - Escape Attempt Part 5/? - Making the News Part 6/? - Fallout Part 7/? - More Impossible Part 8/? - The Shield Thieves Part 9/? - Reality Sinks In Part 10/? - Preparing a Quest Part 11/? - The Marvelous History of Sir Stephen Part 12/? - Uninvited Guests Part 13/? - So That’s What It Does Part 14/? - The What and the Where Part 15/? - Gearing Up Part 16/? - Just Passing Through Part 17/? - Dinner with Druids Part 18/? - Kracness Henge Part 19/? - A Task Interrupted Part 20/? - The Red Death Part 21/? - Aphelion Part 22/? - The Stone Giants Part 23/? - Nat the Giant Killer Part 24/? - An Interrogation Part 25/? - Guilt Part 26/? - Rushman’s Brilliant Idea Part 27/? - Hunter in Hiding Part 28/? - Ridiculous Part 29/? - The Guy from Barton Part 30/? - Sherwood Forest Part 31/? - Buckeye’s Fall Part 32/? - Robin Hood Part 33/? - Fantasies and Consequences Part 34/? - Swords of Damocles Part 35/? - The Road to London

Sir Stephen is confused by democracy, Nat does more worrying, and Robin Hood thinks skyscrapers are cool.

           They stopped for lunch in Leicester, and then Sharon took over driving while Nat moved to the back of the van, next to Robin, to eat a take-out sandwich.  Robin Hood had been talkative before they’d stopped in Barton-in-Fabis, but now he was quiet, looking out the window at the countryside rolling by and chewing thoughtfully.  Nat wondered what he was thinking.  Was he imagining the life he could have with Marian?  Wondering what had possessed his alternate self to abandon it?  Pondering the nature of reality?  She didn’t want to interrupt by asking him.

           Besides, she had thoughts of her own to get lost in. Natasha had escaped the secret agent business and gone into hiding as a nobody academic at a university that wasn’t known for the field she’d chosen, because she wanted to be a normal person.  It was a lie, of course – she had never been and would never be normal… but ‘truth’ and ‘lies’ were no longer meaningful categories.  If she really wanted it, that kind of life was within her grasp.  All she needed was another Grail fragment, and she could be Natalie Rushman or any other identity she wished to assume.  

           Really, Natalie Rushman would not be a bad person to be.  She’d grown up in a suburb with parents who loved her and usually had enough money to get by. She had, as Allen had said, danced in ballet recitals and built snowmen and angsted over career choices.  She’d probably done things she’d later regretted, because everybody did that at some point, but she was mostly pretty happy with her life – and, most importantly, she’d never tortured or killed anybody, or been locked up in the cold or forced to abandon a friend on the tundra.  That had been the whole point of creating her: Natalie Allyson Rushman was perfectly, beautifully ordinary.

           But she also wasn’t Natasha Romanov.  The terrible things that Natasha had seen and done in her past had brought her to where she was today, and had taught her lessons that Natalie Rushman would never have had the opportunity to learn. Natalie Rushman wouldn’t have been able to fight her way through the mooks on Flotta, or knock out Robin Hood in Sherwood Forest, or work out how to destroy the Red Death’s golems.  The situation Nat was in now needed Natasha Romanov.

           Even after this was over, though… no, the thought of re-writing her past in such a literal fashion made Nat recoil as if she’d just found a tarantula crawling up her arm.  There was a lot of ugly truth in her past, and she had told a lot of lies to cover it.  In the future she would continue to tell lies, because it was the only way she could avoid being thrown in prison, but she preferred to remember the truth, even if nobody else did.  Maybe that was another of the reasons she’d chosen archaeology – because you could learn from the truth.  The ugly parts of it told you the worst that could happen, and you could look back on them and decide to do better in the future.  Lies could not teach, they could only disguise, hiding the painful lessons so that you couldn’t learn or grow from them. They stuck you right back where you started and forced you to make the same mistakes all over again

           “Those who fail to learn from the past are doomed to repeat it,” she murmured.

           “Hmm?” Robin asked around his mouthful of sandwich.

           “Nothing,” said Nat quickly.  “I probably ought to warn you guys about London.”  Robin Hood and Sir Stephen would have thought of the London of their own centuries as a teeming metropolis.  They’d been absolutely astonished by the size of Inverness and Nottingham, but that wasn’t enough to prepare them.  “The government doesn’t move around anymore, like it did in the Middle Ages.  It stays in London.  Sometimes the Queen stays in other places, but Parliament, which actually rules the country, is in London, and it’s also the economic centre of the country.  It’s one of the biggest cities in the world, with a population of… I think eight million?”  She was pretty sure she’d read that somewhere, but couldn’t recall where.

           “Million?” asked Sir Stephen.

           “Yes, million,” said Natasha.  She took another bite of her sandwich, which she’d almost forgotten about as she pondered.

           “How many is that?” he wanted to know.

           Nat hadn’t realized he didn’t know what the word meant – she’d assumed he just didn’t believe the figure.  She quickly chewed and swallowed so she could explain.  “Oh.  A million is a thousand thousands.”

           Sir Stephen, sitting in the seat directly in front of her, didn’t answer.

           “Do you know how many a thousand is?” asked Nat.

           “Of course I do,” said Sir Stephen.  “So if you were to divide all the inhabitants of London into cohorts of a thousand men…”

           “Men, women, and children,” Nat said.  “We count heads nowadays, not families.”

           “A thousand people,” Sir Stephen corrected himself.  “You could do so eight thousand times?”

           Poor man, he probably thought a thousand was a large number – William had conquered England with only ten thousand men, and at the time that had been an almost unimaginably large army.  As it turned out, an army was exactly what Sir Stephen was thinking about.

           “If half of them are male,” he mused, “and a mere quarter of fighting age, your Queen could call up a force the like of which has never been seen on earth.  That, from London alone!”

           Nat shook her head.  “It doesn’t work that way,” she said.  “These people aren’t soldiers.  The Queen can’t just order them to fight for her.  If there were a battle in London, they would have to be evacuated.”  She hadn’t thought of that yet, but if worst came to worst and the Red Death showed up to take the Grail by force, he would have no end of people to stab or buildings to knock down.  Not to mention the unbelievable carnage if something like the golems got loose in a densely populated area.

           “If she had enough weapons to arm them,” Sir Stephen insisted, “or even just asked them to take up their pitchforks and axes…”

           “They don’t have pitchforks and axes, because they’re not farmers either!” said Nat.  “They’re… they’re merchants and tradespeople and scholars and… and other things you won’t know what they are.  The Queen can’t force people to fight when they’re not trained for it.”

           “If your Queen cannot pardon a criminal nor raise an army, what can she do?” Sir Stephen asked, exasperated.

           “She cuts a lot of ribbons,” said Sam.

           “Shakes a lot of hands,” Sharon agreed.  “Waves at crowds.”

           “She’s on your money,” said Allen.

           “Who makes the laws?” asked Sir Stephen.  “Who leads you in battle?”

           “We vote on that,” Nat explained.  “Like the Romans did, but with less bribery.”

           “But…” Sir Stephen began.

           Sharon interrupted him.  “We haven’t seen any sign of the bad guys in a while, have we?” she asked in a louder voice than necessary, to make the point that she was changing the subject on purpose.

           “No, we haven’t,” Nat agreed – which was odd, now that she thought of it.  Up until they’d left Inverness, Zola and the Red Death had been in step with them the whole time.  They’d gotten to Dr. Hughes and stolen the map, they’d arrived at the henge on Flotta at about the same time, and they’d terrified Darren O’Herlihy.  Now, however, Natasha and the others had been to Barton, to Sherwood Forest, and were on their way to London, and hadn’t encountered any opposition even once.  “What do you think that means?” she asked.  Should they be worried?

           “Perhaps it only means that the ivy and horseshoes are working,” Sir Stephen suggested.  “I never thought I would say such a thing, but bless the witches who sold them to us. Clearly they know their work well.”

           “Or it could mean they’re doing something important while we’re distracted by things they figure are irrelevant,” Nat said.  “If they already knew that Francis had used up his fragment, they might have gone to America or the Continent to look for some that are still active.  Or even directly to the druids, who knows?”

           “Or they know that we’re going directly to the Grail, and they’re following us on the down-low,” said Sam.

           “They don’t seem like down-low types of people,” Sharon observed.

           Having been raised in Russia and worked mostly in America, Natasha was still occasionally startled by just how small Britain was.  Driving the length of a country sounded like something that ought to take a long time, but a determined person could go from Durness to Dover within twenty-four hours.  It had been around ten in the morning when they’d left Barton, and they reached the suburbs of London before two.

           It took the two time travellers a while to realize they were already in the city, and then, as Nat had predicted, they were absolutely astonished by this urban landscape that seemed to go on forever in all directions.

           “A man could live his whole life within the confines of such a city,” Sir Stephen said quietly, “and never know anything existed beyond it.”

           “I think a lot of people do,” Nat said.

           Driving through London, where traffic was thick, almost seemed to take longer than driving to it, especially when they got into the city centre near the Thames.  Natasha started to feel a little shaky when she spotted the outline of the White Tower above the buildings ahead of them.  This was it – they were about to find out whether her theory were correct, or whether she’d wasted everybody’s time.

           At the time it was built, the Tower keep had been the tallest building in London, and it had stayed that way for centuries. It would probably still be impressive to Robin and Sir Stephen if they saw it up close, but for the moment they didn’t even seem to notice it.  Instead, their eyes went past it and up, to something that towered over it by nearly a thousand feet.

           “What is that?” asked Sir Stephen.

           “That’s the Shard,” said Sharon.  “It’s the tallest building in the United Kingdom.”

           “The Tower of London is coming up on our right,” Nat added.  “That’s where I think William the Conqueror hid the Grail.”  It did look rather insignificant with downtown Southwark all around it.  Even the Tower Bridge was over a hundred feet taller.  Time had rendered it nearly impossible to imagine the impact this giant stone keep would have had on a Saxon world, used to timber buildings and defensive ditches.  William’s ambitions now seemed modest indeed.

           Robin and Sir Stephen, however, were still focused on the Shard.  “Do they let people climb it?” Robin asked.  He’d figured out how the windows worked, and now rolled his down so he could stick his head out like a dog for a better look.  “From up there you’d be able to shoot almost anyone in the city!”

           “There’s glass in the windows,” said Sam.

           “Actually, they’ve got an open-air platform at the top, I think,” Sharon said.

           “But they wouldn’t let you take your bow up there anyway,” Nat added.  She was starting to think… Zola couldn’t see or hear what they were doing in the van because of the ivy they’d sellotaped around the windows, but if he were following them he’d definitely know where they stopped.  Why clue him in before absolutely necessary.  “But yeah, you can pay admission and go up, like in the Willis Tower.” Not that they knew what that was.

           “Can we do that?” asked Robin eagerly.

           “We’re not here to sightsee,” said Sharon.

           “Actually…” Nat glanced up at the building again, then shut off her turn signal and headed for the Tower Bridge instead of turning off to the castle itself.  “He’s right – that’s a good vantage point.  If we get some binoculars, we can scope out the whole castle grounds without ever setting foot in them.  It’ll keep the Red Death in the dark a few hours longer.”

           The Shard was even more impressive standing at the base of it looking up.  Everybody craned their necks to see if they could make out the top of it, which was almost lost in the low fog.  They must look, Nat thought, like a bunch of gawking tourists.

           “It looks as if it were built out of air,” said Sir Stephen, taking in the shining steel and glass of the structure.  “I’m not sure I trust it not to fall out from under me.”

           “It’s stayed up so far,” said Nat.  “Let’s see what we can see.”

[kinonoranove]

Kino no Tabi (2017) episode 4 review

The Ship Country

I’ll be frank, as someone who have read the original light novel, I found this episode downright disappointing. This episode fell into the trap that rushing adaptations tend to fall into, cutting a lot of meaty parts that only the not very delicious barebone be left. However I did read other discussion threads in other website and find the large portion of new viewers okay with this episode, so I can see that as a standalone story it managed to convey some meaning to the audience.

The core story about the Ship Country is already straightforward enough like all other stories they picked for this season, so I just want to go right into what the anime cut out that make this adaptation not work with me. If you are a new viewer who like the episode just fine, then you could stop reading here if you are tired of adaptation vs original source debate.

To give you a general idea, in the LN normal-lengthed chapter is usually 20~40 pages, longer chapter like Colosseum (adapted in episode 2) is 60~80 pages, and then there are a few behemoth chapters over 100 pages like the Ship Country. With such a length it should take at least 2 episodes to fully adapt “The Ship Country”, but the 2017 anime gave itself a difficult task of cramping the whole story into a single episode. The thing is, I’m fine with anime shortening and modifying the given material to fit into a 20-minute timespan as long as it still managed to tell a coherent story. This episode didn’t give me that impression, as the final scene between Shizu and Ti became very out of left field given the underdeveloped relationship between them due to the anime rushing the buildup.

I have reread the original story in the LN just now, so I will list what the anime have rushed and changed from the novel below:

1) The whole chapter was narrated by the dog Riku. Riku noted early on that Ti looked very foreign among the ship’s residents because the residents tent to have brown or black hair hair, while she had white hair and green eyes. Ti guided Shizu around the ship for 10 days and they have developed some sort of routine and emotional bond during this time. Ti took a liking to Shizu, voluntarily followed him around and found joy in eating Shizu’s bland portable rations. Riku also noticed that none of the ship’s residents want to associate with Ti. Ti didn’t speak at all and she even shook her head when Shizu asked her if she can write, all of this should be because of her complete isolation from the residents, so nobody taught her anything about communication. Despite that, Ti had very good memory and observation when she showed them around the ship and pointed out 143 locations in the map, which impressed Shizu and Riku.

2) Shizu was concerned that the residents look much older than their age as their meals mainly contain seafood and nothing else. It was also reported that the population on the ship highly decreased in recent years. Shizu asked some people worriedly about the ship’s shaking and poor condition, but despite that they said it’s normal and they are completely content with their life. Their denial to Shizu when they tried to go back to the Ship Country at the end also stings more as the Elder pointed out that travellers are wanderers who have lost their homelands who could never understand about the love people have for their own countries.

3) I just really like this piece of dialogue between Kino and Shizu after Kino’s identity was revealed, which showed these two’s clashing viewpoints, so I leave this here:

"In any case, I'm working for the rulers of this land until we reach the western continent in exchange for being allowed to stay here. I don't really want to do this, but I have to live too. Would you please go back?" Kino got straight to the heart of the matter. "I refuse." "You're not a citizen of this country. I don't understand why you're doing something for a stranger's land without even being asked to." Kino declared calmly. It was certainly like her to coldly point out the logic of the situation. Normally, of course, she would be right. A traveller must worry only for his own safety. He has no obligation to concern himself with the matters of other countries or people. To risk his life for them would be insanity. However, Master Shizu's answer was immediate. "It's because I realized something. If I can do something to give all these people a 'future'…" "…" I felt like I could hear Master Shizu tighten his grip on his sword. "I feel like I just have to try, you know?" I could not see Master Shizu's face, but I'm sure he must be laughing from his heart. "I see… Then it can't be helped. I will do my job."

Even after Kino’s identity was revealed, Kino and Shizu’s fight still happened and in the end it was Kino’s victory again. Kino tried to announce the result to the Tower Clan, but because they were deep inside the ship, moving far from their original fighting location, so the Tower Clan didn’t hear Kino, and assumed that Kino lost. Then they decided to not board the land anymore to stop Shizu’s plan, much to Kino’s shock. So Kino had no other choice than to assist Shizu in overthrowing the Tower Clan and driving the ship to land.

4) In the middle of the way to the control room the group stopped by the  weapon storage in the Tower and took some weapons (including grenades) to fight against the ruling class. It was also implied that Ti could have took the knife here for self-defense (as it was specifically said that for a short while Riku didn’t really notice what Ti was doing).

5) Ti stabbing Shizu might have been a shock to readers but thanks to all the buildup in point no.1 & 4 above that it didn’t come out of nowhere like the anime. Shizu might not know about Ti’s situation, but he didn’t even pick up the obvious hints that the ship residents clearly didn’t care for Ti and the fact that Ti stubbornly followed him everywhere because she wanted to follow him and get away from the residents. Furthermore, Hermes revealed that the ship residents regarded Ti like a bad omen or demon because the ruling class used her to spy on the residents. Ti following Shizu at first was also spying, but then she truly took a liking to him, if the scenes when she refused to leave Shizu in bedtime as well as showing him beautiful sea views were any indication. Now with the AI ruling class gone and with the ship residents detesting Ti, Shizu telling her to go back to the Ship of Doom was like a death sentence for her, so she vent out her desperation by stabbing him.

6) When observing the situation unfold, Kino drew out a gun and asked Riku “Which one?” (as in which one should be left to die), meaning if Riku chose to save Shizu, Kino would shoot Ti, and if Riku wanted to spare Ti, Shizu will die. It was pretty clear from the outlook that Riku wanted to save Shizu and Kino was very down to shoot Ti, then Shizu suddenly shouted out “Neither” meaning he didn’t want anyone to die, showing his determination in saving Ti. It was a very emotional scene in the novel.

7) When Shizu collapsed and looking like dying, Ti was even more devastated and took the grenade from Shizu’s body for a double suicide. Finally, Kino shot the grenade away. (Things wouldn’t have been this bad if Ti had spoken up about herself before, but her communication skills were non-existent and her spyche was fucked up due to long-time isolation so Shizu really got involved in a real mess here.)

8) In the aftermath, Kino took care of Shizu for a while and intended to leave while he’s sleeping, but Shizu woke up. They shared another conversation which showed their different purpose and outlook on traveling, which I like so I leave it below:

“Could I just ask you one more thing?" "What is it? "I feel a bit bad for interrogating you like this, after all the help and support you've given me, but… Don't you ever think about settling in one place to live, Kino? Don't you want a safe, secure life where you're surrounded by loved ones, never having to worry about where to rest at night?" "I don't know. At the moment… well, I don't think I'll ever think about it." "That's completely fine with me. After all, it's a motorrad's jay to be able to always be on the move." "'Joy', right?" "Yeah, that." "… Isn't it… painful?" "It's not all fun." "…" "But it's not all pain." "I see. I guess everyone has their own perspective on things." "That's right."

Phew, that was long. If anyone was confused about Ti, I hope the long infodump answer your questions. Some more notes about Kino:

- I’m not thrilled with the anime’s choice of stories. They should have marketed this as a sequel (with a few remade backstory episodes for new viewers) rather than an unrelated reboot to previous anime. Ep 2-4 just have to pick specific stories from different volume (vol.1, 5, 8 respectively) where Kino became proactive, which is not Kino’s norm.

- In the novel, Kino also rarely broke 3-day stay rule got involved in the countries’ matter, unless Kino is requested to use marksmanship skills by the countries and is offered food, shelter and payment for it in order for Kino to cover traveling expense like ep 4, or due to unexpected circumstances like ep 2-3.

All translation credits go to Untuned Strings.

[po1ypear1]

you must take it all as it comes. seize the oportunities. listen to your inner voice, and if you don’t hear it, ask.  

Always: Be greatful for the happiness feelings you feel every single day.

Recognize when the right opportunity is before you and say yes. But if you dont, know the boat will come again, and know your reason for missing it.

Plans and day dreams are nice, but let them be free. Watch out for getting to attatched. We prefer general headings.

Remember watching, “How To Be Single” and feeling like this was your time to enjoy being single while in this stage of self descovery. To remember learning how to date, how to talk to people, and how to hold onto your own identify.

Find and Do No Matter Where You Are:

Play with improv people. join a theater group

Take singing lessons. join a choior

Keep making your moon calanders! Study Astrology.

Pole Play Classes. Dance classes

Everything written here has placed a call to me, and is currently waiting, patiently on hold.

Make movies. Research bus channels. Consider yours.

Act/Perform. Read poetry, stories and speaches to people from mobile sets in character.

Sail home for Christmas 

Once Home: Set Some Shit Straight:

Invest! Talk to one of those guys who makes your money make money.

Sort out your taxes, health care, and province of residing. Get GST number for a small, legit paper trail and to justify the cerb minimum income requirements.

Lazer hair removal.  

Time to Get Your Self Some Nice Things: Get a proper ear stretching kit. Good quality solar powered phone charging water proof blue tooth multi speaker linkons portable speaker. Blue tooth solar powered ear buds. 

Books: Anatomy for the artist.  A massive “learn to read the stars” astrology book, total “yoga poses” reference guide.  

go shoping and record the items, review and return later. see how they look through the camera’s eye. find the neck lines you like. thin straps. Try less reveiling necklines, they are destracting, people will look, listen and be enchancted by everything else

.Ask grandma and grandpa a hundred questions.

Watch tissue movies with mom.

Visit Royal Pizza

Organize family activities, skating, toboganing, holrac park. Snowboarding trip?  

Propose bio mobile bus/prototype build to dad  

Have a Dance in Golden and visit kyle…  

First summer with the bio-biel. Climb mountains. Serve A Vapassana.  Learn Gin Shin Do from a master. Visit the landing.

Do you still wanna train hop? this is probably a better sooner then later activity.  

Winter town! Seasonal job. Collect thousands of dollars for passing go.

My Karman Line: Learn about starting a business. Event Organizer/Project Manager. Online Careers. How to become a home care assistant.

Stationary Routine breads clarity and focus. New Places are exciting, stimulating, inspiring, and distracting.

Biofuel Home Bus:  

MIDNIGHT IDEA* bus so I dont have to pay rent while going to school/studying to get the job that will allow me to work and live around the world. hense vegabonding after bussing. No roommates, no rent, no part time job money worries, small space, less mess, fewer distractions. I can work part time if I want to, not cause I have to. I can be close to school, no comute, close to my kichen, less money spent eating out. I feel the time for study is getting closer.

I like the idea of bus before boat, cause when I get land the bus is home base while I build. Then the bus is safely left on the property. The boat is a little less safe left in the water.

You’d think I would vegabond before biofuel, but i just got a craving…. then I got an incling, “maybe these arnt one time phases.” Sail boat life, Bus life, House life, Back-pack life. and they keep heluxing round and round. And there’s always new hobbies, interests, self discoveries and purposes. With constant sweet notes of good food, friendship, discovery. And never ending curiosity.

MIDNIGHT VISION: 1 am, drinkin water by the gallon.... a song comes on. I can’t hold it in. The bus bursts open and I pour my heart out down the empty street. Pirouette’s under street lamp spot lights, broken hearts to car hoods. Coming to an hour latter, looking around, ‘where am I?´ Time to choose a walking home song. A small space will be good for me. Forces me to get outta the house.

There’s no correct order, or direct timeline. Remove the 5 hinderances, and listen to what the moon says is best for you right now.

Vegabond. Live, Work and Study in so many other countries.You can do this after 35 aswell. You can find amazing work oportunities that don’t require the permit, that will sponsor a permit, that wants to marry you. Or you’ll fit into the specialist or exeption section. You’re not necessarily looking for a typical, need a working vissa job anyway. Plus, some countries might not have this restriction, you never looked for your self.

We were talking with Josie the other day and we got on to the different types of lives on the security-adventure scale. For argument sake, we named 4 main ones. The people who never leave the towns they grew up in, the ones who do but settle some where, the ones who move every so often, keeping it fresh and the ones who never stop, who, say live out of a back-pack or travel the world on a bike, throwing them selves into the unknown. When she spoke of these people, my heart fluttered…..  

House sit, wwooff, work-away when the world alows open travel again. And maybe Do it by bike? As few planes as possible. LIVE in the cities of the world, get to know them, be a part of them. Know the public places, the baker on the courner, where the oldest trees and stairs are.

Entreprenuer. Have your own business. Work for your self. 1 (of many, ideas) multi functional bobcat/tractor owner and oporator. 2 Bulk goods supplier. Recycling sail boat. Bamboo farming.

Homestead. Own Property out right. I will pay for everything up-front, all the money I save on interest by waiting will be trippled by keeping the money invested till there is more then enough for the propert, land and home development. Enough will be left over, and remain invested, to continue growing at a steady, live a comfortable life and travel as I wish, take what ever courses i wish rate.

Raise your kids here, with stability providing safety. Routine creating tradition that will be imprinted in them for ever, every pumpkin pie will make them feel their childhood in fall, and the excitment of starting school again. Let them grow conected to nature and their food. Atleast till 7. Then ask them what they want to do? wanna go to school in the city? wanna live in a bus and travel across the continent? Wanna live in a boat and sail around the world? Please learn another language, spanish is easy and lots of places different to us.

Sail around the world with an electric assist bike and a survival libraray

Return to the nice place, with enough acres for privacy, gardens, animals, out door hot tubs, a green house, all within a food forest and be within walking distance of neighbours and a satisfying community hub. Some people watching spots and art events can be a comfortable scooter ride away. maybe this is the same place as the homestead. Maybe my parents are with my by this point.  

Bio Bus. I’ve been in the office 6 months now, and im starting to want a change. Change just might be my nature. So maybe it’s back to the bus. This time with Gatto, Pero, Pollo, bicicleta and creator machines. Traversing the continent selling soaps, teas, hot snacks wrapped in bees wax at ski hills, soaking potions, spa days at tree planter camps and tickets to movie nights.    

BLUE PRINTS:

Yoga Space: soft matt 5x5, to emcompass my whole body’s reach in every angle. hand holds ancored into the floor for traction. ropes hanging from the roof for balance, suport. golf and tenis balls for massage. 

Kitchen Hacks: design cooking area to be re-panted every few years. window sills for herbs to grow. sinks with water spouts that fill in the middle and swivel. 

Ideal Community: lots of greenery, big old trees, bike and walk friendly, inviting public spaces, big enough that I want to go out and be apart of it, that i have places and people to visit. A place with seasons. I don´t want to be hot and itchy all year round. A place where people steward the land, and shape it with Peter Pan’s elegant hands. No generic, shitty, fast food joints, only healthy artisian. Beautiful works of arcitecture harmanizing our day to day with nature.    

[discovericelandtours]

Iceland Travel Guide 2021

Iceland is a magical place that gives the heavenly feeling to the tourists with its several natural attractions such as geysers, hot springs, lava fields, volcanoes, waterfalls, beaches, glaciers, northern lights, and golden circle much more. Besides the fact that it is a densely populated country with a population of only 3, 23, 000 people, Iceland is a plethora of things and places to explore. Iceland is truly a magical tourist destination having the most amazing and breath-taking landscapes and sceneries in the world. It is also known as the land of fire and ice having plenty of natural attractions such as lava fields, volcanoes, geysers, hot springs, massive glaciers, rugged terrains, and much more.

Tourists are attracted to the country due to its breath-taking landscapes and sceneries that are a much bigger attraction for the photogenic and photographers. Iceland has something or the other to offer in its every corner, it is a dream destination for everyone, which will surely make you stop at every corner to admire the beauty of nature and of course, to click some pictures. Iceland has a lot of hidden gems to explore. Iceland is a beautiful place that offers a lot to explore and a plethora of memories to cherish.

Travel facts of Iceland

There are several travel facts of the Iceland travel guide, which you need to know before visiting Iceland. These include:

The Icelandic language is majorly used in the country. However, some locals also speak English.

The krona currency is used in Iceland.

Iceland is a small nation having a very dense population of only 3,23,000 people.

Iceland is the most popular tourism spot. It receives a huge number of tourists every year from around the world. The number of tourists in Iceland increased from a million to two million in 2018.

Best places to visit in Iceland 

1. Akureyri

Akureyri tops the chart in the Iceland travel guide. It is a quint, small and a perfect place for photogenic people providing them with the most stunning and jaw-dropping views. Located in the northern part of Iceland, it requires a 5-hour drive from Reykjavik to reach here. It is further located at fjord end between the high mountains providing majestic views of the landscapes. It is the best place to visit in winter for those who love skiing and adventure. Moreover, it consists of some beautiful attractions such as Myvatn Lake, Dettifoss and a small village of Husavik for those who love fishing. The Akureyrarkirkja church on the hilltop gives a breath-taking view of the landscape below.

2. Isafjordur and the West Fjords

Most of the people might be unaware of this beautiful West Fjords and the small town of Isafjordur in the Iceland visitor’s guide. a trip to this place will make its money and time worth. It provides the most beautiful views, which are not something you should miss. This place is generally less populated and sceneries are soothing to the eyes while travelling through the stunning Fjords and lands.

3. Stykkisholmur

Located in west Iceland, it requires a travelling time of two hours to reach here from Rekjavik. This place in Iceland tourist guide is rested on a peninsula with small Islands surrounding it. This place provides you with plenty of things to explore such as the lighthouse, boat tour to various islands, birdlife, fishing village and a great place to have a meal.

4.Vik

Located in the southern part of Iceland, this place in Iceland tour guide requires a travelling time of 2.5 hours from Rekjavik to reach here. This small village is popular for several unique things such as rock formations, ocean views and black sand beaches. Moreover, if you visit here, you will get a chance to visit a tiny restaurant named Sudur-Vik, which provides majestic views of the sea and mountains from the hilltop.

5. Husavik

located in the northern part of Iceland, it takes 1.5 hours to reach here from Akureyri. This small village consists of beautiful coastlines, homes, and buildings. It is a perfect place for those who love fishing and whale watching.

6. Snaefellsnes

Traveling to Snaefellsnes would surely be a great adventure for you as it provides stunning coastal views and sceneries, making it the most beautiful place in Iceland travel guide. Moreover, the Snaefellsness peninsula is popularly known for having a mystical glacier, which is said to have some magical powers in it. This is not enough, it is also known as the entry point to the center of the earth, making it a must-visit place in guide to Iceland tours.

7. Hofn

hofn is located in the eastern part of Iceland. It requires a travelling time of around 6 hours from Rekjavik to reach here. While travelling from Rekjavik, you will come across the various southern part of Iceland including Vik, Jokulsarlon, Skaftafell Park and the big Vatnajokull glacier. Hofn is further located in the quaint village on the ocean providing best restaurants to spend the night. Do not forget to visit the Glacier Lagoon, it gives an incredible view of iceberg breaking and passing to the nearby oceans. There are more stunning places to visit here such as the city centre, Pakkhus, Humarhofnin and more.

8. Hvammstangi

Hvammstangi is a small place having a total population of just 580 people in Iceland tourist guide. But it’s beautiful rolling hills are something, which you should not miss. Located in the north-west part of Iceland on the Vatnsnes peninsula, this place consists of stunning rolling hills and ocean on each side. It is a good place to spend a night watching the beautiful coastal views. Visit this place in guide to Iceland tours to make your holidays memorable.

Egilsstadir

Egilsstadir is known to be the smallest town in Iceland tourist guide surrounded by majestic sceneries. It provides great hotels to stay at and watch heaven like views. Choosing a hiking tour from the multiple tours from Egilsstadir would be a great decision to make. Don’t forget the visit the Lagarfjot lake at the edge of Egilsstadir, which is famous for having a mythical creature to the Lochness monster in Scotland, which can give a chill in the bones. Moreover, the landscapes here are very similar to that of Canada having the beautiful views of evergreen mountains and trees. Egilsstadir also makes a perfect picnic spot in guide to Iceland tours to chill and watch the amazing rivers.

Reykjavik

Reykjavik, the capital of Iceland is the most popular place in the Iceland travel guide, which receives tons of tourists every year. This place provides a plethora of activities to do in both seasons. With longer days in summers, you can enjoy parades, poetry, and even party in the night with no worries of chilly winter. Moreover, if you wish to dance inside the glacier, head to the secret solstice.

Activities to do in Iceland tour guide

Scuba diving

One of the best water-based activities are offered at the Silfra in Iceland visitors guide. Silfra, which is considered as the world’s top dive site is located on a rift between the tectonic plates, these plates grow for about 2 cm every year, which enables the tourists to enjoy swimming between the Eurasian and American continents. This activity in Iceland tour guide is not for the weak hearts as it offers freezing glacier water of temperature between 2°C- 4°C even in a dry suit. Moreover, it is popular for its stunning visibility, where tourists can enjoy amazing neon colours and otherworldly topography. Scuba diving in Silfra can provide you with a chilly adventure like never before.

Snowmobiling

When it comes to exploring stunning glaciers in Iceland, Snaefellsjokull is considered one of the most famous glaciers due to its reputation in the whole country.

Snowmobiling on these famous Snaefellsjokull glaciers in Iceland travel guide would be a great adventure to remember for a lifetime, where you can enjoy racing across the icy fields and between the snow mounds while enjoying majestic views of the glacier and the stunning summits of around 1,446 meters above the sea level.

Sea Kayak on the Fjords

Located near the Reykjavik, The Hvalfjorour is placed deep below the encircled mountains, which ranges for about 300 feet above the sea. Visit Hvalfjorour to have a great experience and enjoy sea kayaking over the calm and cool water of rough glacial fjords. Moreover, some professional guides will also assist you with paddling the sea kayak around the coastline and exploring the stunning glacial fjords up to the shores of the idyllic Icelandic countryside.

Exploring the lava tunnel

Iceland, which is also known as the ‘land of fire and ice’ consists of icy glaciers as well as some amazing volcanic eruptions in Iceland travel guide. Deep in the heart of Iceland, you can explore the subterranean playground and the windy lava tunnels while witnessing the twisted rocks formations made out of furious volcanoes. Located near the Reykjavik, visit the Leidarendi lava tube to explore this half a mile-long tunnel whose stretches will force you down on your knees and crawl due to its crooked formation. These formations occurred when the surface lava hardened. Moreover, if you are lucky enough, you also may experience the bone-chilling volcanic eruption, which most of the tourists are not able to witness on their visits.

Festivals in Iceland tour guide 

To avoid any kind of inconvenience in the end, make sure you go through all the national holidays that take place in Iceland every year. Some of the holidays are very common and people are very familiar with them, these include Easter Monday, Christmas and New year holidays in Iceland. Apart from these, there are several more unique festivals celebrated in Iceland that offers a national holiday in Iceland. These include:

Þorrablot in February

Porrablot is a festival in Iceland that is specifically celebrated to honor the god Porri. Moreover, this festival is celebrated in midwinters to look forward to during the lunar time of the year. To celebrate this festival, restaurants are packed with the Icelanders enjoying the special menus and several locals throw parties to enjoy the traditional food of Iceland such as hakarl and svio.

Sjomannadagur on June 4:

 this festival involves the Icelander’s taking part in swimming races, mock sea-rescue and tug-of-war events. Just after this festival, the Icelanders celebrate Independence Day on June 17 every year.

Verslunnarmannahelgi in August:

 It is a traditional festival in Iceland where locals head to the countryside and enjoy the holiday by camping, drinking and partying.

Culture and etiquette for Iceland visitors guide 

The Icelandic culture revolves around the hidden people that are also called the huldufolk. These hidden people are analogous to elves and many people believe in this Icelandic culture. Moreover, there are several museums in Reykjavik that showcases the history of hidden people. This ancient belief of Iceland is respected by all the locals in Iceland.

Iceland is found to have the most approachable and friendliest people. There are endless opportunities for you to socialize and make new friends during the journey. As soon as you step on to the cool environment of Iceland, you will receive a very warm welcome from the locals of Iceland. Iceland is found to have the friendliest locals who make you feel like home and even share fairy tale stories and mystical folk with you. Moreover, you do not face any awkwardness while hitting the club alone, as the locals in Iceland are super friendly.

The Icelanders follow some basics etiquettes and expect their visitors to do the same by doing several things such as taking off their shoes before entering a private room. Moreover, people are not expected to tip in Icelandic restaurants, there is a separate tipping jar in many restaurants.

Best time to visit in Iceland

Both winters and summers are very different in Iceland, as both offer different types of activities to explore in each equally amazing season. Iceland has something or the other to offer during both the season. Some activities in Iceland can only be done during the winters such as exploring the northern lights, taking a dip in therapeutically beautiful hot springs and much more, while other activities belong to the summers in Iceland. Several adventurous and thrilling summer activities in Iceland will satisfy your craving your adventure and fun. The summers in Iceland are magically warmer and gives an equally enjoyable time as during winters. As compared to winters, the summer season in Iceland is considered to be the best time to go for a tour due to several reasons.

The weather in Iceland is surprisingly warm during summers. With longer days and more time of sunshine, you are provided with an endless list of activities and places to visit during summers, which includes camping, glacier excursions, road trips, hiking, watching midnight sun, puffins watching, and much more.

Accommodation in Iceland visitors guide 

As the tourism rate in Iceland is flourishing with every passing year, the tourism industry of Iceland is coming up with new hotels, restaurants, guesthouses, and apartments to provide a long and comfortable stay to their visitors. With increasing demand every year, Iceland is now booming with the best places to provide a stay for tourists. There are several accommodations in every part of Iceland. These include:

Accommodation in Keflavik and Reykjavik: Reykjavik is the capital city of Iceland and the most popular place that receives tons of visitors every year. It offers a wide range of accommodation in the country that best suits your demand and budget.

Accommodation on the south coast and golden circle: the golden circle is the most visited place in Iceland, which is popular for its three locations i.e. pingvellir national park, geyser geothermal area and Gullfoss waterfall. Several hostels and hotels are available for the tourists who wish to have a full day tour at the Golden circle.

Accommodation in Skaftafell: the Skaftafell natural reserve has its hotel that gives accommodation to the visitors visiting the incredible places here such as glaciers and waterfalls ion a full-day tour.

Gear and packing list for tour to Iceland 

If you plan to visit Iceland, make sure you pack every necessary items and clothes regardless of the season, in which you are visiting, as the weather of Iceland is quite unpredictable. Here is a list of the necessary items that you would need on your trip to Iceland.

Clothes

list of clothes would be needed on the trip to Iceland would include one pair of jeans, shorts, bathing suits, six t-shirts, eight pair of socks, one long-sleeved t-shirt, one pair of hiking boots, one pair of sneakers, and other necessary items such as toothbrush, toothpaste, a bottle of shampoo, razor, shower gel, dental floss, towel and deodorant.

Medical kit for safety purposes

Accidents are unenviable, so it is advisable to carry a small medical kit with you on the trip, which would include Band-Aids, antibacterial cream, earplugs, hand sanitizer, hydrocortisone cream, and Tylenol.

Miscellaneous items

to be on the safer side and avoid any kind of risks while you are heading to your dream place, there are some more miscellaneous items that you should carry with you on the trip, these include a combination lock, plastic bags, zip-lock bags, charger, and LifeStraw.

Blog source: https://www.discover.is/icelandtravelguide2021/

[lordhighlander]

Pearl

Hi there everyone!

So before i actually post the entirety of the story that I wrote, i’ll just drop few notes here:

 First off, these short stories i will write will most likely be one-offs and not related to each other, because i want to purposefully avoid writing longer stories as i have ill tendency of trying to build too big worlds (thanks to Tolkien for that) also they have a tendency to end on cliffhangers because i am a cruel person and i want you to imagine yourself how those stories would go on from there 

Average length will be 3-5 pages, this first one being 3 pages

I write a story based on a single word (preferably not name but i can work with those too) it can be either substantive or a verb, i can work with both. Feel free to recommend a word, i’ll just pick on on random and try to do story in about a week or so.

For this first idea I want to thank my good friend @ladaur, sorry it took me this long to actually get real work done on it ^^

Without further ado:

Seagulls shrieking on the blue sky and waves crashing against the ship. This was the kind of life Pearl had lived for the past 10 years. She looked at her own image from the small hand mirror her stepfather had bought her from last port town they stopped in.

From mirror two deep brown eyes stared back at her. Surrounding these eyes were gentle graceful facial features and long midnight black hair. Her skin was light brown from the tan she had gotten from working on open-air ship for so long.

She smirked and put the mirror away, again wondering how such a small bauble managed to keep her entertained on these long travels from one port city to another. The Seas of Cirion were wide as the known land masses were split into bunch of smaller islands by The Great Turmoil over 300 years ago.

“Hey lass, quit daydreaming and go help Donnie over there with the sail, we need to take a turn to starboard here if we want to reach city of Strain by the evening, we don’t wanna get caught by the Naga around here after dark.” Voice belonged to Pearl’s stepfather, Angus McCrown who was well-known seafarer in this part of the world.

Angus was a 50 year old man of brawny character from all of his long years working the ships on the sea. His always smiling face was ringed by red hair and beard. Angus was not married nor did he have any kids, probably one of the reasons why he had adopted the young stowaway girl 10 years ago. Thinking about that made Pearl smile as she hurried to help Donnel with the sail.

Pearl did not remember that much about event all those years ago but as Angus told it he had noticed one of the coverings of the boat move when doing a patrol on the ship that night. After lifting the covering he had discovered a terrified little girl who was obviously starving. Angus had taken pity on the poor girl and taken her to ship kitchen to feed her. The girl had nothing except her rags on her and no memory of her real name, except for the small pearl she had in a simple necklace around her neck. Angus had decided that for the time being girl could stay with him and his crew on his ship, at least until they found the parents or at least relatives of the girl.

But years had passed by and no one had recognized the girl or looked after anyone matching her description, so by the time Pearl was 15 Angus officially decided to adopt her and gave her the name.

Lightly stepping with years of experience Pearl climbed the staff up to reach the robes that were used to adjust the sails. Up here the sea wind was harsh but Pearl was so used to it that it did not even affect her. She released the robes keeping the sails on place and shouted to Donnel to change their positionings. Donnel did as order and as Angus turned the helm so did the ship also take a new heading: the city of Strain.

Strain is a capital city of Dioran, one of the 2 states on small continent of Disalea at the eastern edge of the sea of Cirion. Dioran and it’s eternal nemesis Taus had been in war basically ever since the Great Turmoil and were showing no signs of stopping anytime soon.

Strain itself was large sprawling city, but the eternal war had taken its toll on it. Only parts inhabited by the truly rich and powerful were still in prime condition, rest of the city looked somewhat downtrodden these days. However Strain’s crown jewel was the palace of Archmagos, where the high warlock of Dioran resided. Dioran after all was what other nations referred to as Mage Tyranny, as in only mages were allowed to hold higher echelons of power and rule armies and offices.

Approaching Strain made Pearl always bit nervous as she had heard all the stories about sinister mages kidnapping foreigners who were unfortunate enough to get separated from their friends and using them on sinister experiments and spells. This of course as she well knew might not be true at all and could just be slander and propaganda from Tausian Inquisition.

Tausian Inquisition believed that all magic, no matter how or for what it was used, was evil and corrupting and therefore magic users should be either jailed or executed, Taus however even with their quite extreme views was a relatively democratic country with all men and women having a say in electing representatives to holy see which then elected Grand Inquisitor to lead their nation.

Pearl as a non-magic user of course would have prefered Taus if it was not for their very hostile and suspicious attitude towards outsiders, but that was a moot point as Taus was inland nation so there was no reason for Angus to do trade with them.

As sun was setting they finally came to eye distance of the great port of Strain. It was a truly magnificent sight: Storm walls made of purest marble with decorations that defined common sense and must have surely been made with aid of magic. The walls stretched up at least for 20 meters and only relatively narrow pathway lead inside the mighty walls.

As their ship Meriadock slipped into port the dock master came out to greet them and make sure they were not carrying any illegal cargo. Pearl took the opportunity to look around the dock while Angus was talking with the dockmaster, taking in the sights and smells of the lively dock. On eastern side of the harbor where Meriadock also resided were all the merchant and civilian ships, this was also the much more lively side of the dock with sounds of laughter and commerce everywhere. The western side of the dock was reserved for Diorianese navy but only few of the ships were currently on port as most of them were out on the sea patrolling or raiding Taurisian shipping lines. However those ships that were in the port were creeping Pearl out, they were all Black ships with dark purple sails but that was not what was so unnerving about these ships. Here and there she could catch a glimpse of one the magii of Dioran who were assigned to their specific ships, just lording over their crew. The creepy thing was not these haughty magii, it was the common sailors, for none of them sowed their face. They were wearing all black cowl from head to toe with their faces covered by white mask with black spots for eyes and no mouth piece.

Pearl tore her gaze from these silent men as she heard Angus call out her name. Angus looked more serious than normal and said with very slight undertone of worry in his voice: “Oi lass, good ol dock master here claimed that there is someone in town who claims to have recognized you”. Pearl froze. Could it be? That finally after almost 10 years she might find her parents or at least a clue about them? “Take me to this person, please!” She almost yelled out of anxiousness to hear about possible leads. Dock master smiled and signed over a young and handsome guard captain by the Name of Revallion. Revallion was tall lean man with athletic features dressed in the purple-gold Diorian royal guard armor and had a magnificent saber on his waist.

Pearl followed Revallion out from the docks and up through the city, first she thought they would head to one of the many taverns or inns or maybe even merchant houses, instead they kept going up and up through the city to very heart of the city. Eventually she realized they were standing right in front of the gate to the Achamagos’ palace. “What have i gotten myself into?” she though before the large golden gate were swung open by unseen magic somewhere out of sight.

In they headed climbing a spiralling staircase to the very doors of the magos’ throne room. These doors opened to them too and for the first time Pearl saw the Archmagos Perennion, the tyrant of Dioran. He was a magnificent man who did not look an year older than 40. He had long black as night hair falling from his shoulders all the way down to the ground. He also had kind and wise face, even if bit pale. On him he was wearing a full on gold-black plate armor etched with runes and symbols so odd yet somehow familiar looking to Pearl. On his left leaning to the throne was his magical halberd known as Deathbringer, rumored to be able to pierce any armor as well as channel arcane magics.

Archmage Perennion was looking right at her and he was smiling. Suddenly he started speaking on a deep yet soft voice saying: “Welcome home my child, long have i missed you”