#getting older Billie eilish

[ex-justmychampagneproblems]

Getting Older - Billie Eilish

[svnflowermoon]

jealousy, jealousy

sometimes i wish i was them,

the girls in my pinterest boards,

the girls at my school on those road trips with friends,

the girls with the love stories people like me write poems about.

and more often than not,

that wishing becomes jealousy.

it sickens me, that i'm jealous of them.

i have everything i could ever want, do i not?

...do i not?

i saw this girl from my school post on instagram last week,

she'd just had her sixteenth birthday party.

an aesthetic affair, the likes of which are scattered throughout my pinterest.

they swam and danced in the rain, drinking apple juice from cocktail glasses.

i wasn't invited—of course i wasn't, we're not friends.

her friends' posts about it dragged out for days on end, and of course, so did my jealousy.

it's stupid, really.

her win is not my loss, i know that more than anything.

it is engraved into my brain so that each time i feel jealous of her,

i feel guilty for bringing her into my own personal inadequacy.

why do we look to others to reflect on our own lives?

and i know that i am that girl for some people at school,

and that knowledge just makes me sad.

because why are we never satisfied?

why do we always want what we can't have?

the things we long for,

they're the greatest things on earth,

until we have them...

and then we long for something else.

[doomsdayenthusiast]

[darth-maya]

The song of the day is

Billie Eilish - Getting Older

[rosegarbage]

fill in the blank - car seat headrest

[apleasantharmony]

Song of the Day

[poprocklyrics]

Can't shake the feeling that I'm just bad at healing

Getting Older, Billie Eilish

[billiessillywife]

can’t shake the feeling that i’m just bad at healingggg

and maybe that’s the reason why every sentence sound rehearsed

[izzysoaths]

“Here she comes, world. Please be kind.”

As I woke from 9 months of slumber, the lights that hit my eyes were way too harsh.

The sudden cold cut sharp through me making my small fingers and toes curl up; but the weather that morning was perfect.

Clear skies and a soft breeze. Warm enough for late spring but still too cool for the beginning of summer- just torn between the two, right in the middle, like I grew up to be: indecisive.

“Here she comes, world. Please be kind”- I could faintly hear my mother whisper, just as my little head met hot water from my bathtub for the first time ever- unaware that someday the ocean would live at my front door, ready to enter, ready to drown me.

Eventually that warmth and great weather showed up less and less. But, like the sun when it hides away behind a hill, it was still there- I just couldn’t see it. And, day by day, I only got bigger- and so did my hair; so did my body, so did my heart.

And things got tight: my clothes, my chest. And the air seemed to stop passing through my lungs.

Here I come, world, please be kind- I whisper to myself walking by the doors of life.

[oheart]

"Furina: Endless Solo of Solitude" is so... god I want to wrap her in a blanket.

[trashbngirl]

"I'm getting older, I've got more on my shoulders. But I'm getting better at admitting when I'm wrong. I'm happier than ever, at least that's my endeavor to keep myself together and prioritize my pleasure."

-Billie Eilish

[svnflowermoon]

it's so weird that we care so much until we don't

[zaddyazula]

something i think some people don’t understand is that everyone has different things that happen to them in their life!!! just because something isn’t emotional to you doesn’t mean you should try and tell people who did find it emotional it’s not!!!! people have lived beyond who you know in person!!!!!

[juuunebuugg]

Things I once enjoyed...

Just keep me employed now...

Things I'm longing for...

Someday I'll be bored of...

It's so weird...

[leafspostsstuff]

Can't shake the feeling that

I'm just bad at healing

And maybe that's the reason

every sentence sounds

rehearsed.