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incrediblyaccuratethoughts · 2 years ago

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I’m Gonna Tell ‘Em (Don’t you Dare)

Ao3

Tim just wanted coffee. That’s really all he desired in life. Coffee. His position as Red Robin. And Wayne Industries to get its shit together for one goddamn day. In that order.

“Are you shitting me? I was a fucking crime lord you little terror, I don’t give a fuck-”

He’d done an all-nighter in the Batcave. Again. Trying to crack a cold case he was sure had something to do with Riddler's vague warning a few nights ago. And he was so close, but his eyes had started to close for just a little too long.

So tell him why he walked into an argument that seemed to be based around the topic of murder, at 7 in the morning. Between Jason and Damian. Who both tried to kill him at least once. Respectively.

��And I am the Demon Prodigy of the League of Assassins. I could kill a man before I could speak.”

Tim stands in the doorway, contemplating if his need for coffee is higher than his potential rate of getting maimed in the dining room.

“Yeah, but you were fucking sheltered inside the bases like goddamn Rapunzel in her-”

“I was not sheltered. You of all people should know of Mother’s harshness for disobedience-“

“Oh and I’m sure you were so disobedient Mr. Goody Two Shoes-“

Ultimately, the urge for coffee wins. Tim crosses the kitchen as unnoticeably as he can, skirting the edges and keeping his footsteps as light as he can manage on 10 hours of sleep in the last week.

He’s busy, okay?

“I’ll admit I wasn’t raised to go against the orders of a higher-up but that did not mean-”

“Bull. Fucking. Shit.”

“Did my propensity for sneaking animals into the house escaped your notice? I thought you were better trained-“

“So what? You save every bird with a broken wing you come across, but you’d willingly slit the throat of a human?”

“Yes, Todd. That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

The coffee pot is half full. Tim counts this as the one redeeming factor of this morning. The threat of getting stabbed is nothing in the face of sweet, sweet caffeine.

“What’s your fucking number then?”

“I can’t possibly know the exact-“

“Oh no, you don’t get to pull that shit on me-“

Tim considers pouring himself a cup, but he’s gonna drink the whole thing anyway and he’s exhausted enough to zone out during Alfred’s inevitable lecture, so he takes the whole pot and tips it back.

“I was sent out for missions when I was barely more than a toddler. You can’t expect me to remember every-“

“Ra’s had files on every fucking mission I did while brain dead and high on Lazarus rage, there’s no fucking way he didn’t have an exact-“

Tim chugs his precious coffee. The temperature is surprisingly cool enough that he doesn't immediately burn his tongue. Not that a few scorched taste buds would stop Tim from inhaling the only thing between him and unconscious. But it’s the thought that counts.

“What’s yours then, Todd?”

“Nope. Not until you tell me yours first. I’m not about to have you raise the number because I told you mine.”

“That’s preposterous. I would do no such thing.”

Tim calculates his chances of making it back out of the kitchen with a quarter pot of coffee in his hands and decides his caffeine fix is safer off with a few counters between him and his homicidal brothers.

And yah know. His physical well-being. But that’s pretty low on his ‘fucks to give list’ at the moment.

“I don’t trust a fucking word coming out of your mouth-“

“There’s an easy way to settle this if you’d just-“

“What? Shut up? Drop the argument? No fucking-“

“We can write it down separately and then show it to each other at the same time."

“…huh.”

Tim looks up in genuine fear when both of his siblings go quiet. That’s never a good sign. Not in this house.

There’s a window to his right that he could probably smash through if it came to it.

Neither of them are looking at him though, just regarding each other with much less animosity than a few seconds ago. Tim decides he’s probably fine and goes back to his coffee.

“I will go retrieve a piece of paper and two pens.”

Damian leaves the room and Tim freezes like if he stays still enough it’ll keep Jason from noticing him. Unfortunately, now that his older brother’s attention is directed to his surroundings and not just screaming at a 12-year-old, he makes direct eye contact with Tim.

“Oh hey, Timmers. How long have you been here?”

Tim stares at him blankly. He- doesn’t know what answer Jason wants from him and he’s not willing to face his older brother’s wrath if he’d been having what he thought was a private conversation.

“Sorry about the noise. I hope we didn’t wake you up.” Jason says after it’s clear that he isn't getting answers out of Tim.

As if the manor isn’t literally soundproofed. For this exact reason.

Tim’s 17 years of social etiquette training won’t let him just not answer the open-ended comment, but god does he wish that it did.

“No, I was already up.”

Jason nods as if he was expecting that answer. Which is fair. Tim’s sure he looks just as tired as he feels. His eye bags could hold all of his emotional trauma. They’re Guchi.

“And does Alfred know you’re drinking straight from the pot?” Jason motions to the carafe Tim’s clutching like a lifeline. Because it is.

Tim opens his mouth to lie through his teeth, but is saved by Damian’s re-entry. Wow, he’s never been so glad to see his stab-happy younger brother.

True to his word, the kid’s carrying a few pieces of paper and pens. Tim could leave now. He could casually walk right past them, out of the kitchen, and back to the cave to keep working on his case, but dammit, he’s invested now.

He’s still not sure what this argument is about exactly, but he’s willing to wait a few more minutes to satiate his curiosity now that he’s tentatively sure that the argument isn’t going to evolve into physical violence.

“I’ve acquired the tools to finish this once and for all, Todd.” Damian announces, sliding half of his spoils to Jason.

“Great. We’ll write our body count down and on 3 we’ll turn ‘em around. Got it?”

“Don’t tell me what to do” Damian grumbles, but writes dutifully anyway. The kid would be funny if he didn’t back his threats up with swords.

Tim is. Still lost, but he’s always secretly wondered how many people his brothers have killed. In a morbid way. Mostly because he wants to know if the murder attempts on him were a particularly special event or just a pattern. For his mental health's sake.

“Got it?” Jason asks, holding his paper close to his chest so no one can peek. Tim doesn’t know who would, considering he’s the only one in the kitchen that’s not a part of this squabble, but Damian copies the movement and Tim finds himself inching closer, taking the last swig of his coffee.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three!”

They flip the papers around and for a moment the kitchen is quiet.

“FUCK YEAH!” Jason pumps his fist in the air with a whoop. “Ha! Take that, Demon Brat! I’m the Robin with the highest kill count!”

Tim spits out his coffee and coughs violently. It’s partially because he got some in his lungs, but also to cover the incredulous laughter bursting uncontrollably out of him. It takes him a good few seconds to get his breathing under control, but when he looks up, his brothers are staring at him.

For a moment he’s tempted. So fucking tempted. Because he hasn’t told anyone anything more than bits and pieces about his time with the League. Hell, the only reason his family even knows about his little stint playing lap dog for Ra’s, is because he choked out a vague explanation about his missing spleen when he went into sepsis.

They don’t know about the missions he was sent on. The people he sold out. And most importantly, the multiple bases he blew up because he was crazier than the Joker after Bart and Kon’s death and then the near miss with Bruce.

The bases he absolutely didn’t evacuate. With hundreds of people inside. A few actually avalanched down mountainsides, and he’d eat his Batarang if any of them survived.

The only word he’d confidently use to describe his mental state then, is feral.

He didn’t have to blow them up. He really didn’t. A good few of the bases he’d never actually seen before he snuck in to level the place, but he’d been having a shitty year so naturally, he was going to make sure Ra’s got to have one too.

Not to mention that Tim was as depressed as he’d ever been and wasn’t particularly giving a lot of fucks about if he died during his warpath. He’d already lost a spleen, what were a few more organs?

So this argument? This competition? He finds it objectively fucking hilarious.

Damian and Jason are still staring at him in bewilderment, and for a moment -just a wild moment- he thinks about telling them.

Explaining how he was just. So done. And could only think of one way out, so he systematically hacked into every base he could get his hands on. Stole as many files as he could during his time constraint. And then blew all of them sky-high.

Thought about telling them how on one particularly bad night, gone through every log of the people in those bases. How he hadn’t been ‘sick’ as he claimed the week after he managed to crawl out of his safe house.

He was just too horrified to look anyone in the eye.

It would be funny to watch his family’s expressions go through the five stages of grief and add a few more just for funsies, if they even believed him at all. But no. Tim had his secrets and he was going to take them to the grave.

He grinned at his brothers, patted Jason on the shoulder with a quiet congratulations, and strolled out of the kitchen.

Tim had cases to solve and letting his family assume he wasn’t capable of murder was better for all of them in the long run.

No matter how wrong they were.

👻

In my defense. Writing prompts make the brain noodle go brr. You can blame @coffinbirds and @batcavescolony for these posts.

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cairavende · 11 months ago

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Worm Arc 15 thoughts without interludes (interludes need their own post):

EVERYTHING IS FIIIIIIIINE

My daughters boss didn't actually try to assassinate her, her just planned to do it and then did it in one reality but kept the reality where he didn't! So it's ok! I'm fine. Not worried at all that Coil knows Skitter was planning on double crossing him and that he found a way to screw with Tattletales powers.

It's fiiiine (eye twitches)

I want to say I'm glad she got her full team on board, but given that there is a chance someone on her team ratted on her it might not be good.

Skitter goes a little bit far at the end with Triumph. Just a tiny itty bitty bit far. Child you almost KILLED HIM! And then you let him sit there dying when the threat isn't that he'll die now, but that you will come back if needed (mayor ain't going to say what you want him to say if you kill his son, the point is if he doesn't say it you'll come back)! I'm worried about you.

Brian I understand why you like my daughter and she seems to like you and I'm glad having someone you feel safe with is helping you process your very valid trauma (important note, you could have done the same with your sister, she was trying to help you but you wouldn't open up to her, you should open up to her). But please don't get in the way of her relationships with her girlfriends. Just understand in terms of long term stuff Chatterbug and Wolfspider 100% trump . . . Darkbug? Fuck what are you guys called?

(I've been informed Shadeswarm, Nightcrawler, Night Biter, Creepy Crawlies, or Carapace. I think Creepy Crawlies might be my preference among that.)

MOAR DOLL LESBIAN CONTENT!!!!!

Parian is one of my absolute favorite characters! Flechette is pretty cool as well. Being a hero hurts her. Stabbing my daughter also didn't build good marks with me, but I understand why she did it. Cause GAAAAAAAAAAAY. I have a hard time being too mad at a lesbian stabbing someone to protect her girlfriend.

I'm glad Parian isn't joining Coil full hog at least, she's too pure to be a villain (or a "hero"). I kinda wish she could just move to New York and be a fashion designer and live her best life, but I do enjoy the idea of getting to see her more.

And to be honest, I don't think anyone on Earth Bet is really going to be living their best life in the long run. Sorry guys.

The fucking shutdown the team gives to the Nazis is AMAZING! Like ya no Hookwolf or Purity this time, that obviously would have made it harder. But still, comparing the previous fight to this just really shows how much the team has increased in power. They didn't even bring Grue.

Skitter and Tattletale being able to work together to find all the people in a few block radius and figure out which groups are Nazis, all while just standing in the middle of the street, is so fucking cool. I fucking love watching them work.

I don't love the girlfriends fighting with the whole "Skitter wasn't told about the plan to have Regent yoink a Nazi". But they seemed to make up pretty quickly.

Skitter fucking running multiple bug clones, with cameras and microphones, all across her territory, and using them to talk to people and check in on things, WHILE getting surgery on her shoulder??! FUCKING HELL. Like ok yes, please love yourself child and let yourself take it easy sometimes. But also holy shit that is so god damn amazing. I am 100% convinced (I mean, I have been since like Arc 4 TBH) that she uses her bugs to basically offload her pain. Or offloads her mind to her bugs so she can ignore the pain in her body. Same idea. Like even if it's never confirmed it is true to me. And the multitasking! Give Taylor a Thinker classification!!

Just fucking attacking the mayor's family to intimidate him into telling people in Washington to not condemn Brockton Bay huh? I mean sure it kinda worked at the end (assuming he does what he said he would) but it really seems like a terrible plan. Like, the people in Washington are gonna hear about the attack and wonder about everything the mayor says. But fine, that's the plan.

Skitter making the bug clones complex enough that Trickster and Genesis don't even notice she's a clone at first is super cool! Also it does drive home that she is always just covered with so many bugs and using swarm speech so much that when a version of her shows up that is completely covered in bugs and speaks fully with swarm speech it doesn't throw anyone off.

Coil had to know that Triumph was the mayor's kid. The fact that he's the one who pushed to have them attack during family dinner.

I'm really proud of Skitter for figuring it out though! I pegged him as a cape pretty much right away and was able to figure out it was Triumph not long after, but she was in the heat of the moment. Also she got the girlfriend pegged as a either Prism or Ursa while I was still uncertain if she was a cape.

Holy shit that fight was so fucking cinematic! Perfectly built for Triumph to look cool by exploding bug clones with his shouts. And with Prism splitting and combining constantly. Just fuck. I'd love to see an animation of that fight. It was super cool.

And again, Skitter got dark there. And sadly I'm worried she's gonna get darker.

#Worm #Worm Web Serial #Parahumans #Cairavende reads Worm #Taylor Hebert #Chatterbug #Smugbug #Creepy Crawlies #Oh and they did a class presentation on how far they had gotten with their territories #And Skitter just swept the room. If Coil grades on a curve Skitter wrecked it.#Tattletale did pretty good too. Even with the curve she'd be fine.#Grue and Imp did ok. Imp did most of the work but Grue had some valid sick days.#Sundancer and Genesis did fine.#Ballistic lost major points for not knowing the names of the capes in his territory.#Trickster is literally just waiting for his team to come do the work for him. Horrible.#Regent is not doing well given he has Shatterbird.#Bitch gets a good grade on a technicality. Fucking “Nobody.” Project is going to have more strict requirements next time Coil assigns it.#Oh shit wait I don't have a name for Parian/Flechette!#Dollette? Bow and Sew? Needlework?#Hmm I think I like Needlework the most of those three. Dollette isn't bad though.#Needlework

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