#get the fuck out of my house

[avernusreject]

What I wouldn't give to have Cassandra's reaction to Varric retelling the chaos that is my Hawke's love life (Theodosia "the messiest bitch in Kirkwall" Hawke).

She first has a fling with Fenris (who breaks up with her), then Anders (she breaks up with him by saying "you just weren't that good"), finally Isabela (who leaves cause she doesn't do relationships). Then Hawke just casually proceeds to drag all three of her exes around with her for jobs solely for shits as they bicker between each other

I like to think Cassandra spent a hour listening to this like

[getosugurusbangs]

i feel like people need to get more comfortable saying that they just don’t like enemies to lovers

[pluviophile-imagines]

Nobody except me is allowed to have tumblr sexyman opinions Ive yet to see a single tumblr sexyman convo outside of tumblr that hasn’t completely misunderstood the genre of little meow meow

[thisisntapainting]

yo can proshippers intersct

[dijidweeeb]

Motivational Music in the Morning ... #The2LiveCrew, #GetTheFuckOutOfMyHouse ... from #AsNastyAsTheyWannaBe [Official Audio Track] (1989) #MMitM1

[the-knife-consumer]

Thrilling news everybody theres a wauce

[louisarmpits]

Can these people go home now do they not have jobs

[morticiafattymshasabeard]

I want to light my head on fire

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[ruthimages]

[lazycranberrydoodles]

english translation book 5 baby we are in the ‘people assuming kid form hua cheng is xie lian’s son’ era 🔥🔥🔥 / follow for more hualian silliness

[friendly-neighborhood-furry]

for anyone who doesn't have the Return YouTube Dislike Plugin, here's how Watcher Entertainment's "Goodbye Youtube" video is doing right now

yeah... gonna throw out a yikes on that one

i suspect this number will only keep growing in the coming days/weeks, especially the longer and longer we go without any sort of response.

EDIT: its only been three hours and the number has already jumped to 206K dislikes.

[puppyeared]

littlest furth shop

@laikascomet

[sheerakk]