#get the fuck away from kids if u dont know how to act!!

[emoisthenewemu]

Make The Neighbor's Know My Name - ERWIN SMITH x F! READER SMUT

MDNI 18+

What happens when your hot, (divorced) older neighbor just can't help himself?

wc: 5.5k (sorry!)

cw: SMUT, porn w plot, Modern!AU, age gap, mentions of shitty fathers, DADDY KINK (again, sorry i just know he has one), cursing, p in v, oral on both ends, squirting, general nastiness, breeding kink lol

a/n: wow had sm fun writing this. also this may be tmi scroll if u dont care but shoutout to the dude who made me s****t for the first time i was reminded ab you when writing this, hes a whole dad now lifes crazy

˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚

Erwin Smith is an established man. He has a nice house and a good job-one where he got his hands dirty and worked his way up for years before becoming the boss. He works out on a weekly basis, eats (somewhat) healthy and can (again somewhat) cook. He is clean and well kept, educated and respected in his community. Kids love him, so do dogs and the elderly. With a politeness often associated with much different times and a beautiful, piercing set of blue eyes, he is damn dear perfect. On all accounts-a wonderful man.

So, it puzzles many that he lives in such a nice four bedroom all alone. It was not always like this; he used to be married. Had a sweet little housewife that got to stay home and do what she pleased. But it seems that freedom got to her head, overzealous with how much she could get away with-unfortunately it did not take many years of marriage to understand that it was never going to work. All it took was Erwin working a few months of overtime to push her into the arms of another man, one she claimed would give her more attention than he ever did. Perhaps he had neglected her a bit, let his job take over his life for a while. But it was all for her! So, they could have even more stability and possibly even become ready to start a family.

Nowadays he thanks God they never had a child together. And after the dull ache that was getting cheated on, the divorce, the court process that ensued afterward-the man was convinced that he was better off alone. He could accept that truth. There was no need to go chasing a feeling he had already experienced.

But that is not to say that he does not get any action. He is a man after all and they have needs, he surely does. He is no stranger to going out and chatting up nice women, taking them out on a few dates and making them feel special only to break it off when things get serious. It's a pattern at this point. His friends (employees) tell him he should drop the good guy act and just fuck shamelessly. Skip the formalities and go straight to the good part. Just be honest, it is arguably better than whatever the hell he is doing.

He considers it for about a week, even thinks about downloading an app so the opportunity is always there at his convenience. He knows he is a good-looking man who has much to offer, the matches will certainly come in.

That was until he becomes distracted by you. A cute little twenty something that moves directly across the street from him. He watched from both the windows of his home to the security camera which conveniently already faces your house. You had a few other younger girls helping you, two guys and neither seemed to be your boyfriend so that was a plus. And when he left to go get drinks, truck keys in hand-acting like he was not staring directly at you behind the shade of sunglasses you were bold enough to be the one to utter the first word.

It was after a few giggles of your girlfriends, who were also checking him out, but he was more focused on you. Hoping it would indeed be you that was moving in. "Hi neighbor!"

One of the girls slaps you lightly, mostly surprised you were actually bold enough to call out to the hot dilf across the street that's probably married. But he waves and says hello back before stepping into the large truck and driving off. They laugh as you stand there for a while, the wheels in your head turning.

You've always had a thing for older guys.

You soon come to learn he is not a dilf but the sentiment is there. It begs to argue the question, does a man really need to have a child to be a dilf? It may be in the title, but you see it more as a state of mind. And you also learn that he is divorced, he lives alone actually. Except for the golden retriever you often see accompanying him on runs.

You can thank the nosy old lady that lives next door for all of this top-secret information. It reminds you to accept her invites inside for tea often, you feel like you've met the whole neighborhood thanks to her gossip.

For the first month and a half your interactions with the man are mostly basic. Friendly 'hello's' and small little waves before the two of you leave for work in the mornings.

The first time you have an actual conversation is when you are bold enough to knock on his front door one Sunday morning. You know he is awake because he has already gone for his morning run. The sight of your new sexy neighbor all sweaty in his compression top and gym shorts has now become a part of your weekend routine. You wouldn't miss it for anything.

His hair is wet from the shower he just finished, still slightly dripping onto the thin material of his shirt. You swallow hard, trying to not get lost in the sea of muscle staring straight at you. You look up at him. He is more than twice your size.

You want to climb him like a tree.

"H-hi Mr. Smith so sorry to bother! I heard you own a construction company and well-I have this stupid door coming off the hinges! And I'd do it myself, but I suck at stuff like that! And I'd hate to hire someone to come all the way out here for something so small" You are visibly nervous, fidgeting and playing with your hands as you find it hard to maintain eye contact. He is just so fucking hot you cannot trust yourself to not gawk at the sight of him. "Of course, I'd pay you too!"

You are so cute and helpless. A fucking door hinge? Surely you have at least one friend who could help out with something like that. But as you soon come to learn, Erwin Smith will never say no to you. "Nonsense, no need to pay me. I'm always free to help a neighbor out. Let me go grab my tools"

So, he does and follows you across the street. He definitely does not check out your ass in those tiny little shorts that lift up a bit when you walk. In your defense-it's your day off, you deserve to be comfy!

Your house is exactly what he expected it to be, cute and tidy. It smells nice and everything is so girly. Pink and creme colored decorations scattered about, shiny hardwood floors that he can tell you recently cleaned. Perhaps it was in preparation of him coming over. Of course, the door just happens to be the closet door in your bedroom, with all of your cute little clothes as you sit on your cute little bed and watch.

Fuck, for some unknown reason the man finds it hard to focus. Even as you make small talk, his mind is elsewhere. Stuck on the sweet smell of you, the way you sit looking so pure and innocent-legs dangling over the edge of the bed as you watch him, head curiously cocked to the side.

He feels like a pervert for imagining what you must do in that bed. How beautiful you must look in the mornings when you wake up feeling lazy, stuck between the sheets. Do you cuddle up with the singular fluffy stuffed animal at night? Do you take it off the bed before you fuck someone, or does it stay up there? Even more, how many men have you fucked in that bed?

He forces himself to snap out of it, silently scolding himself for being so crass. This is not very neighborly of him. You would likely be disgusted by his vulgar thoughts. Or maybe you would like it, you don't do much to hide the way you stare at him. Even before this day, it was quite obvious that you had a little crush on him.

Yet as the older, more mature adult in the situation he tells himself that he must not entertain the idea. He is eighteen years older than you. Children have been born and graduated high school in that amount of time. It's downright wrong and these intrusive thoughts need to be put to an end.

It was easier said than done, especially when he catches a glimpse of your pink lacy panties thrown about the closet. He thinks about the underwear for the remainder of his day, if he were a less respectable man, he would have pocketed the pair and took the home. But he would never, he only imagines he did.

Two days later you show up to his doorstep, with a nice homemade lasagna and the sweetest smile on your face to thank him. It is you that he wishes to devour instead. He even invites you inside to talk for a bit but keeps things fairly short. He considers opening up a bottle of wine but talks himself out of it. Remember, he promised himself he would not entertain the idea of you. Although it may be too late because he fucks his fist to the thought of you every night for the remainder of the week.

And one early morning at work, before any of his men have been sent out on jobs a few of them congregate around his desk. Engaging in small talk as they usually do, telling stories of girlfriends, wives, how drunk they go the other night, cars-the usual guy stuff.

"Boss! How're the apps treating you?! You get any action?" Eren, one of his younger employees cannot help but ask seeing as he was the one to suggest in the first place.

"For real! You haven't said shit since we made you download it" Connie walks in, hardhat in hand as the other one holds the phone his crazy girlfriend is currently blowing up. He ignores the calls and shoves it into his back pocket. "Don't hold out on us man I tell you everything!"

"I'm aware" Erwin cocks a rather judgmental eyebrow-there are many stories which would have been better off unheard. Things he would much rather forget.

And then he thinks of you-the only woman which has plagued his thoughts for close to two months now. He sighs, contemplating if it worth bringing up. His heart drops as the realization dawns on him that you are practically the same age as the two young men before him-younger actually. "Shit" He sighs, running a hand through his hair. "There is...a woman. Not from an app, my neighbor actually"

"Ohhh your neighbor! So, you get to hit and just walk right back home?" Connie laughs and the man cannot help but roll his eyes. These two are definitely the wrong people to be discussing this with.

"We haven't done anything; I just find her attractive is all. Probably not the smartest idea to fool around with someone I run in to almost every day anyways"

"Why not? Saves you money and gas" Eren argues. "She live alone too?"

Erwin sighs because he has neglected to mention the most important detail. "Yes, she lives alone, apparently she inherited the house from her aunt"

"All I hear is a lonely lady who needs some company" Connie shrugs, taking a sip of his coffee. "What's stopping you?"

"She's quite young"

Eren and Connie could not be more excited that their usually reserved boss is opening up to them for once. After all of the talking they have done, it is his turn to ask for advice. "Erwin Smith you smooth motherfucker" The shorter man teases. "How young?"

"Last year of college young"

The men all but gasp, smiling excitedly as this is the juiciest piece of information they've heard in ages. They never would have expected it from a man who (with all respect) has a constant stick up his ass. "Younger than us?"

"......yes" He sighs ashamedly as the men whoop and holler. Rolling his eyes as they dap each other up as if they are the ones about to get laid.

"You better do it boss! Chicks these days are crazy. We can thank your generation for being such shitty fathers" He should expect such ignorant comments from someone like Jaeger, a guy who has been stringing his girl best friend along since childhood.

"Forget I even said anything" Smith stands up, grabbing a clipboard and few other necessities for the job site he will soon be off to. But he should know the two young men would persist.

"I say do it boss!" Eren encourages, pumping a fist into the air. "Do it! Do it!"

"Do it! Do it!" Connie joins in on the chanting, they follow the man out his office-ignoring the stares of their fellow colleagues. That is until their boss scolds them to get the hell to work. So, they do, retreating back to their trucks as Erwin stands in place in thought for a while.

They have given him much to think about.

He ponders the conversation for days afterwards. Every time he looks at you, when you have those short little conversations that keep his day going. Perhaps it would not be so bad, he hopes you aren't looking for anything serious. Or maybe he does, his mind remains undecided. It would not be so bad having a pretty young thing like you on his arm. But he is getting ahead of himself.

He talks to you more, striking up longer conversations whenever he gets the chance. You are very polite; he finds it sweet the way you cross your ankles and tuck your hands behind yourself whenever the two of you speak-almost as if you were nervous. For some reason, it makes him want you even more.

After weeks of much of the same behavior he decides he has had enough. It's not so bad, it's not like he knew you before you were an adult or anything. You are a grown woman who pays bills and provides for herself-you have your own house for Christ's sake! He needs to stop babying you, looking at you as if you are just some lost little girl. You have needs of your own. Needs he is more than certain he can meet. So, he invites you inside for drinks one Friday evening, you do not think about it for even a second before agreeing.

Sending a text to your girls about how you are finally going to fuck the hot man from across street, you shut off your phone. You want absolutely zero distractions during your visit, a plan of your own is in the works.

You drink his fancy wine and watch a movie on the couch, carefully maintaining a bit of distance between the two of you. You almost forgot how nervous he makes you, perhaps the liquid courage is what you need to get your act right.

"Come closer" He pats the spot beside him, and you hesitantly follow his orders, setting down the wine glass and closing the gap between the two of you. Your thighs are touching, hands awkwardly stuck on either side of you, the pace of your heartbeat quickens when the man slides an arm down and around your waist. "What's the matter? Am I making you uncomfortable?" He has to make sure before things go any further. Your stiff body language is telling him that perhaps he should slow down.

"Oh no! Never!" You shake your head, trying to ease into his touch. But you are still afraid to touch him yourself. "It's just......you're a bit intimidating"

He exhales a puff of air through his nose, clearly amused by your words. Brushing a piece of hair behind your ear, he speaks again. "Oh darling, I don't mean to be. What can I do to make you feel better?"

His deep voice sends shivers down your spine, it sends shivers somewhere else too. "I-I don't know" You laugh. "You're just so big and..... established. Have no idea what you're doing sitting here with a girl like me"

"Oh, don't say that" He turns his body a bit to face you better, arm still stuck in its place around you. He places the other hand on your knee, you remain painfully aware of its place. "I'm the one who should be questioning how I got such a pretty little thing sitting on my couch" You giggle, it makes him twitch in his pants. "I'm the lucky one here"

His hand slides up to your thigh, massaging the fat in a way that makes you burn with desire. A heat builds deep within you. "T-touch me please"

Oh, your sugary voice is driving him crazy; he had no idea he would be this into something like this, someone like you. He pulls you into his lap, hands dragging up and down either side of your body as he takes all of you in. He lets out a long sigh, hips shifting beneath you as his cock begins to harden at the feeling of your burning skin. He hooks his thumb beneath your shirt, looking up at you. "May I?"

You nod almost frantically before he pulls the fabric over your head. Facing a baby pink, lacy bralette-he is unable to stop the groan from leaving his lips. He kisses the uncaged skin beneath your breaths, inadvertently taking a deep breath in to get more of your syrupy scent. "You wear this for me?" He questions.

You nod shyly, trying to hide your face but he pulls it closer to look at him. A hand guides you to fill in the space between your faces, foreheads pressing together but he does not kiss you. Not yet anyways, he wants to tease you a bit first. "Use your words"

"Y-yes I wore it for you daddy" It was a shot in the dark, most men his age are into shit like that.

He groans again. Fuck. Eren was right, thanks to all the shitty fathers out there, yours included.

You laugh, finally gaining that bit of confidence you need to keep the teasing going. "Wanna see what else I put on for you?"

"Show me darling" His eyes follow your hand which goes down to unbutton your shorts, unzipping them a bit before hooking your thumb to pull them forward-giving him perfect sight of the cute little bow which sits atop your panties. The same pair he spotted in your closet all those months ago. If he wasn't hard before then he definitely was now, nearly bursting at the seams of his pants. And he chuckles, twitching in anticipation as your body rocks with his. "You planned this, didn't you? Dirty girl"

"Mhm" You laugh, hand running down his chest, you let your nails dig into the fabric of his shirt a bit. You are desperate to feel even more of him. "Did I do a good job?"

"So good princess" He confirms, kissing your chest again. "Let's go upstairs"

You agree, making sure to grab your shirt that you clutch to your chest, painfully aware of the fact you are the only one without a shirt on. But your worries are soon dissolved because Erwin sheds his own shirt the second the two of you reach his room, you sit on his large bed, taking him in all his glory. Your mouth practically waters at the sight of nothing but muscle and evidence of years of hard work, the dirty blonde happy trail you wish to see the end of.

He walks up to you, standing at the edge of the bed and you look up to him. You are eye level with the tent of his pants. He brings a hand to gently caress your face, words are not necessary to know what he wants. You're so sweet and obedient that you go to fumble with the zipper of his pants almost immediately. And when he springs out you have to stop your eyes from widening at the sheer size of him. You almost feel afraid again but you don't want him to know that-you seem naive enough already. You'd like to surprise him a bit.

You kiss the girthy tip as if it were his lips, sticking out your tongue to flick over the slit. You press an exaggerated closed mouth kiss to the tip before taking more of him in your mouth. He groans, throwing back his head as you make your way down inch-by-inch. When you reach the base you swallow, throat tightening around him as he looks down to watch you-mouth agape.

Your wide eyes look up at him gleefully, if you could smile you would. The wait for him was sooo worth it-you think as he looks down at you in what seems to be pure amazement. Brows scrunching as he groans as you choke on his length. A mess of saliva and tears as you bob your head up and down, you can feel when his tip makes it past a certain place in your throat, growing conscious of how deep he is reaching.

It hurts but you can't find it in yourself to stop, he looks so good. An absolute mess as his manly groans make you want to play with your pussy. But instead, you take it a step further, you need this man to remember you, to crave you for years afterwards just in case this never happens again. Although you hope it does. You wrap both arms around his thighs, bringing him deeper as he begins to fuck your mouth.

Erwin, who has stayed relatively quiet since then becomes a mess. "Ohh fuck-fuck! So good, gonna fuck this tight little throat.... good girl, good girl"

You moan at his nasty words, sounds of gagging and wet slaps play like a symphony. Until he pulls back once he realizes he was about to blow a massive load down your throat. No, he wants to save it.

He pulls out, strings of spit dripping from his cock as you gasp for air, wiping away the tears from your eyes and mess of liquid around your mouth. "Mmm" You moan. "Was it good daddy?"

"So good darling" He rubs his thumb over your now swollen lips. "You're doing such a good job for me"

He leans down to kiss you, finally. Fervently grabbing at your hair and hips as he makes his way onto the bed. You scoot back, lips never leaving his as he goes to pull off your shorts. Tongues pressing together in-sync, he stops for a moment to suck on yours-eliciting a small whimper from you. Your nails trace up and down his arms, lost in the feeling of his lips. You could stay this way for hours.

But he obviously would like to keep things going, pulling down your shorts all the way before going down to kiss you through the thin fabric. He makes out with your pussy through the lace, stopping to suckle and blow tiny bubbles on your throbbing clit.

"Fuck!" You squeal, bucking your hips into his face as he continues the teasing. His tongue going up and down, creating an even larger wet spot that takes up most of the area. "Pleeease daddy"

"No, you can wait" He scolds, going to kiss your thighs softly. "Be patient. I'd like to take my time with you, get you ready for my cock"

"Mhm" You nod yet your hips buckle up again. "S-sorry"

"It's okay princess" He coos, finally pulling your panties down completely. When he licks a stripe up your pussy you all but scream.

"Mmm yesss!"

He kisses your clit, sucking it before swirling his tongue around the sensitive bud. Your hips try to fuck his face, he lets it happen, diving deeper and deeper into your pussy. He sticks his tongue out and shakes his head side to side, moaning at the way you cry out-so receptive to his touch.

He moves down to fuck you with his tongue, you bump your clit against his nose, mouth open and eyes rolled to the back of your head in a pure state of bliss. You tug at his hair roughly, using it to guide you against him, so desperate for more. Your mind clouds with pleasure, mouth forming into an 'o' shape as your hips begin to stutter, breath catching in your throat. And when he pulls back to spit! on your pussy, not once or twice, but three times you think you have died and gone to heaven.  With the addition of his fingers, and focusing the attention back to your clit, it is not long after that your release washes over you.

You exclaim out loud as your back arches off the bed, softly buckling down onto his tongue as he laps up all of your essence.

The both of you are panting as he comes back up to meet your lips. Tongue assaulting yours as you taste nothing but yourself on his tongue. That's the way it should be-you think. His painfully hard length presses into your stomach, you look down to see how deep it might go inside of you, but you look back up again when you start to feel scared of the stretch. You trust him, that is all that matters.

And before he can even ask if you want him to put a condom on or not, you grab his cock, sliding it down your folds and circling it around your clit. "Want you inside now daddy"

And who is he to ever say no to you? Seconds later he is pressing himself inside of you, thankful that he prepared you for it beforehand because it doesn't take very long for him to bottom out. "Ohh shit" He groans, pulling all the way out them slamming back in. "Fuck...you're so tight"

Your walls squeeze around him even more at his words, arms settling around his broad shoulders as you fight the urge to let your hips run away. He notices the way you pull back; he won't allow it. Bringing your bodies flush against one another, he rests his forehead on your shoulder, strong arms pulling you down onto him. You cry at the pressure, the way he is stabbing at you from inside, so deep you feel it might go out into your tummy. You squeal again, legs crossing over his back. "Erwin! Mmm, no no no, it hurts"

A stray tear falls from your eye, yet your hips begin to seek out his as you grow more accustomed to the stretch. "F-fuck" Your stomach begins to flutter.

"Oh shh shhh darling it's okay" He sounds so gentle, the complete opposite of the mean snap of his hips. "You want me to stop?" Another powerful thrust makes you let out a noise closer to a scream.

"No daddy please don't stop" You begin to claw at his back as he sets himself a pace, loud sounds of clapping begin to fill the room.

Your pussy is choking him, so slippery and needy. It sucks him in with each thrust, a 'slush' noise every time he pulls himself out. "So wet" The man gasps at the sight of all your juices splattered about. He needs to see more.

Pushing your knees into your chest and angling his hips a bit higher, he begins to drill into you at an unrelenting pace. A mix of saccharine moans fill the room, the sound of his headboard slamming against the wall. "Oh, oh oh! Erwin! Mmmm!" You sound so perfect, the sound of you moaning his name alone is enough to make him want to cum.

"Feels sooo good" Your eyes roll to the back of your head as he plows into you in a way that feels mechanical. In a way you have never felt before. He is so experienced, he knows all the right buttons to push, places to touch you and kiss. You are so mind numbingly stuck in a state of bliss that you almost feel lost. Like you could never crave another man after sleeping with him.

"Guys your age ever treat you like this?" He questions, now forcing your legs together with one arm and picking your hips up off the bed. Continuing his assault on your sweet little pussy that has made him go fucking stupid. He usually maintains a sense of composure when sleeping with new women, he knows what he enjoys may not be everyone's cup of tea but you, well you are the most perfect little slut he has ever met. "They fuck you this good?"

"No Erwin!" You cry out, gripping the sheets as he continues slamming into you. "You're the best! Fuck, Erwin! It's tooo much, feels weird"

Your hips twitch, he knows very well what this means. Oh, he needs it, he needs you to squirt all over him or else he will not be satisfied. "Erwin! Erwin!"

"Yeah, keep talking princess, make all the neighbors know my name, huh?" He goes down to toy with your clit, your hips attempt to squirm away. But the arm wrapped around your thighs ensure you stay in place. He pinches your clit, tip pushing against your g spot in a way that makes it hard to speak.

"Nonono, think I'm gonna pee" You shake your head frantically, trying to grab his arms and free yourself of his grip. But he will not allow it.

"Just let go" He orders, hair now sticking to his head as he shakes it back and forth. "Squirt all over daddy princess, I'll clean it up"

You finally reach your breaking point, breath so caught in your throat that your moan is almost silent, too high pitched to even be registered. Your hips and thighs are shaking, stomach quivering and you can feel your heartbeat in your pussy as he does not relent with his thrusts-close to a release of his own. When you squirt all over him, he whines stuck on the juices gushing out of you. His eyes squeeze shut as the image replays over and over again in his head, finally dropping your body back down to the mattress as he is almost where he needs to be. "Such a messy pussy" He moans into your skin, your body lays limp as you try to do something as simple as breathe.

It is hard when he snatches every little gasp out of you. But you can feel him twitching inside you, thrusts grow sloppy as you grab at his hair, your sensitive pussy being pushed to her brink. "Please please cum inside daddy. Fuckkk I need it! Wanna keep it inside all night and remember how good you made me feel"

Your dirty words are enough to push him over the edge, spilling into you and splaying your womb with his seed. Fuck, his dick belongs inside of you. So does his cum, he wants to do this every day when he comes home from work. In the mornings before he even gets out of bed. At night when before he goes to sleep. He wants you stuffed with him at all times. His cum spills out of you as he finally pulls out, dripping down your thighs.

He looks up at you with a mischievous look on his eyes. It feels unnatural to see such a composed man come undone, the way he eats you up with his eyes.

And you are staring at him like he is the most handsome man on the planet, well he kind of is. To you at least. You chuckle, you're in danger, never has a man made you feel this good before. He made you squirt the first time sleeping with you. Fuck, you're dickmatized.

"We should have done this a long time ago" He collapses into your chest, kissing whatever skin is available softy. He will clean you up in a bit, for now he needs to rest.

"Yes, we should have" You play with his hair before kissing the top of his head, making yourself quite comfortable in his sheets. You could get used to this.

And used to it, you become. Erwin is now a daily part of your routine, the same as sleeping and eating. Getting creampied by Erwin Smith was now the highlight of most of your days but it was not all purely physical. He took you out a few times, you even met a few of his coworkers one night over drinks. You spend the night at each other's houses and begin to go on morning runs together.

You suppose you should not be surprised when you end up pregnant several months later. Knocked up by your sexy older neighbor that you now consider to be your boyfriend. He even suggests the two of you get married, but you agree to wait for the baby to come along to see if that changes anything in your relationship.

Now, because of you, he will live up to his true potential as a dilf.

[emmyrosee]

suna and 11? CONGRATS EMMY!!!!

THANK YOU ANGEL FACE 🥹🩷

anonymous said 11. Suna and maybe u can tie it with ur recent post and possibly make them break up??? ❤️

11 with Suna… Argument 💔

There’s a deep rooted insecurity suna rintaro holds.

It’s not one he talks about often, nor do you bring it up, because it’s dumb, it’s a stupid little thing that you both know doesn’t make a difference in your relationship, yet Rintaro always finds himself harping and beating himself up over it.

Right now is no exception, as you stand across from him with your hands scrubbing your face, clearly exhausted by the fight.

“I don’t think of Osamu like that!”

“You sure had a hell of a time showing it!”

You had a crush on Osamu first.

Way back when rintaro wasn’t even into you, he couldn’t have known you from some random soul, you had feelings for osamu, but you never acted on them because you assumed he never liked you back- not to mention his insane fan girls. You kept your distance until you moved on; only to meet Rintaro in college, recognizing each other about three weeks in, where your feelings for him started to bloom.

You’d let it slip to him once when recounting high school memories how you fell hard for the dark haired twin, and while yes, it made rintaro tense up, you assured him it was over. You were done with him.

Yet every time you hang out with the group, Rintaro feels that same jealousy creep up his spine.

“God, when will it click for you that I love you!” You cry, desperate for him to hear you. “You! Only you! For five years Rintaro, it’s only ever been you!”

“Don’t act like you still don’t-“

“I DONT!” You bark. “I don’t! Whatever you’re about to say, I. Don’t. Because I do, with you!”

He feels sick to his stomach at this point, your sharp words to him only translating as a defense against his words, desperate to keep something hidden.

Not as a genuine frustration.

“I think you should go be with Osamu,” he snarls. “Since your so comfortable getting him drinks and putting your hands on him-“

“I wasn’t making out with the kid, I was patting his back after a joke!”

“-and maybe you should be with him since he’s just soo funny-“

“MAYBE I WILL!” You shriek.

The plates in the kitchen settle and the doors creak softly at the force of your yells, and your eyes glimmer with remorse but your face harbors exhaustion.

“…what?” He croaks.

“Maybe I should go be with literally anyone else,” you choke. “Since you think I’m flirting with anyone and everyone in the goddamned circle-“

“Wait- no, I just-“

“I don’t care what you do,” you whimper. “I’m sick of your jealousy. I’m sick of your hatred of my friendship with some kid who couldn’t give a fuck about me- you literally picked up the pieces of me he shattered, yet you still think there’s a chance I could love him?” You scoff, “you’re ridiculous.”

He sobers up as you throw your arms out in defeat, “I’m so… tired, of the accusations, Rintaro. I’ve given you five years of unconditional love and gratitude. And all you can boil me down to is someone who had a crush in high school?”

“I’m just so worried to lose you,” he says, voice breaking.

“Yeah? Well, you’ve lost me.” You take a step back and gnaw on your lip, “I’m going to go. Think long and thorough about this. But just know, I’ll always love you. Even if you’ve never trusted me.”

“No, no, no, please, don’t leave-“

“I’ll talk to you later…. Okay?”

He’s never going to hear from you again. This, he knows.

The door closes, and he wipes his tearful eyes with the back of his head, slipping out his phone to look at your happy smiling face again, one he took off the face of the earth with his jealousy.

There’s a black screen that faces back to him. It won’t turn on. He groans and hucks the thing across the room, hearing it clang somewhere far enough away.

He’ll deal with it in the morning. For now, he’s got some wallowing to plan out.

[angelismmm]

omg can i req x-rated: the queen, blade with 7 and 10(?) its fine if u can only do one of those 👍👍 take as much time as u need to write huhu 🫶🫶

— i deleted my progress on this like 5 times, thne i went to sleep HELP

☆ warnings. nsfw, sex, all that stuff, fluff and smut at the same time, breeding kink (always n forever), bdsm, hickeys, choking

You look so adorable with my hands around your neck. You know we're more than just friends with benefits, you know that. — headcannons on blade being into bdsm ig idk

definitely likes to choke you during sex. the bruise it leaves when he lets go turns him on, like super on. it's not like he wants you to get hurt, but when he sees the bruises or marks he put on you and you can't help but just take it all in makes him feel so good.

probably you both got on the stellaron hunter business together, meeting either as kids and been with each other since or, well, meeting in early adulthood. I doubt that he went to college or what, but he probably just met you at work too. then you both worked it up from there

had an insanely hard amount of time trying to get to know you as a person honestly, and while on a mission, you both just got so tired of competing with each other in silence, why not work together?

basically you guys had hate sex for no reason, that's it, and no one else but you two know about it. the way he breeds your hole should only be to his knowing. and that's how he's done it. but slowly he's started to be more publicly affectionate, and almost barking at anyone that flirted with you.

he just.. wants people to know you are not up for dating of any kind. but it's not like you guys were the one dating.. right?

jealous asf when he sees someone else makes you laugh, and fucks his frutration out on you when you both are in private.

but he knows you don't like it either when he's acting up with someone else, only you should make him feel like that, and letting him work so easily in and out of your hole is a good way to say you're mine!

he loves choking, like seeing you in pain isn't really what he prefers, but when he's the reason to cause that pain, and hearing your little whimpers when they're touched or what? damn!! do you wanna see mini carbon copies of him or what???

likes to see when someone notices the bruises around your neck from last night, because you were just so adorable with his hands around your pretty neck!

you both actually liked each other, but treated each other like just another one night stand, like no ❌❌ dont say that ❌❌ like you bth are in denial till he gotta say somthimg ☹️‼️

during sex, probably after filling up your hole w his warm cum n stuff, he'll finally say; "we are more than just friends with benefits, you know that."

and indeed you do, you both start going officially out together, starting at a little coffee shop. somewhere far and away from everything else.

as he worked so sloppily and messily in and out of your hole, he couldn't help but utter the words "we're more than just friends with benefits, you know that." your eager nods were enough for him to finally finish, feeling all his warming cum shoot up inside you. slowly you felt his cock go soft inside you, looking back to his gaze, "gotta make sure it sticks, babe."

im mentally ill 😘😘😘‼️

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[rewritingcanon]

Do you have any thoughts on scorbus kids king (beyond Albus insisting that they’re all named after stars and constellations and the likes) because in the same way that they’d get married at like 18-19 a la ‘traditional’ wizards i think they’d be the couple to turn up to christmas one year with a baby without telling anyone (nobody knows how they got the baby and theyre not saying shit) and boom. The first wotter-malfoy grandchild

oooooh! hmm! i actually go back and forth on scorbus children a lot. like i dont have set ocs or anything for them. i can see them with or without kids. i can see them with many or just one. i can see them as boy dads and girl dads. i can see them as all adopted or as donor-conceived. likeeeee i can see everything tbh. but i can tell you what i’m usually set towards:

i reckon one of their babies (i’m thinking the second one if they ever get so far) is sooooo weasley-coded. they don’t act like scorpius or albus but as their fucking grandma ginny. like they may not have the token red hair at all but they certainly act like one. and they’re a stereotypical gryffindor. (first gryffindor malfoy perchance)

i’m also thinking they need to have a diva daughter. like a mini narcissa/lucius just minus the moral abhorrence (they may or may not have a consumerism problem though)

one of the babies has to have the blond malfoy hair. preferably the eldest. idc if that makes me a stickler for tradition.

also i think they would pull the “my grandad is harry potter” “did you know i’m the chosen one’s grandkid?” “oh yeah just going to my pop’s place tonight… did i mention he’s harry potter?” ALL THE TIME 💀 like they would nottttt understand albus’ angst about it (at first) because they won’t experience the same type of pressure as being harry potter’s child.

i think it would be sooo funny if they had kids who are really popular in school and are super charming and good-looking and athletic and just very cool and easily liked. and meanwhile they’re dads are the biggest fucking socially inept losers.

if i was nice i’d give scorpius a bookworm kid. but i don’t think that would happen 😭 he’s fr cursed to be the only nerd there.

now here are some parent!scorbus hcs:

the whole misunderstanding angst between them is scorpius wants to rant to his child about the ottoman empire’s invention of major medical instruments and the child just wants to go play footy with da boys 💔

you best believe albus suffers the potter curse of just never understanding his child 😭 he would totally argue with them all the time. not to the point where they run away though.

i think albus would feel the desire to be a father more than scorpius would initially, but albus would be the strict parent. probably because he did shit like running away and deleting his family from the timeline so he doesn’t want that to happen again yk. how can you blame him

scorpius is the dad that spoils his kids rotten. like he’s NEVER mad. he’s always telling them how proud he is of them and how lovely and cool they are and he’s just constantly inflating their heads to the sizes of large balloons. he’s the dad they go to when they want to ask for something because he’ll normally give it to them. he’d rather they be brats then be unconfident and hate themselves.

also scorpius would get crazy separation anxiety. like it doesnt matter if his kid is 25 that’s his baby and they need to be in arms reach at all times

albus can be the type to freak out at his kids ngl 😭 tbf i dont think he’d do it without reason but he will definitely make them cryyyy and run to their rooms. yk when one of ur parents yells at you when ur a kid and u cry angry tears and can’t verbalise your feelings because you’re tiny and dont know the right words yet. and then you look to your other parent for help and they’re just standing at the side like “🧍‍♂️” yeah the one just standing there is scorpius 💀 no way he’s risking getting clocked too.

scorpius might not voice it in the moment but he’s very good at damage control and managing his family who probably runs quite high on emotions. also he’ll sneak his kids sweets to cheer them up even if they deserved to get yelled at lol

albus is the dad that cleans and washes and styles his daughters’ hair 😭 and he will do it aggressively too like he ties the cleanest but tightest braids and plaits and ponytails you best believe. also he doesn’t play around when his kids come home from primary school with a head lice notification slip. best believe he’s going to scrape through everything.

the kids definitely think scorbus are way too lovey-dovey with each other. cringiest parents ever.

albus is definitely the “how dare you talk to your father like that” kind of guy about scorpius.

albus would pack the most delectable lunch boxes ever and scorpius would write the sweetest daily notes for their kids and put them in the lunchboxes to cheer them

they do not play about bullying whatsoever. someone is getting right hooked if anyone dares with their kid. not hexed, right hooked

albus sobbed when he had to say goodbye to his first child for hogwarts. like he ugly cried right in the middle of the platform. almost collapsed.

scorpius is bombarding their kid with letters. like he’s writing them four times a day to ask how things are and how theyre finding classes and if their classmates are good to them?? and has to be asked to stop 😭

yk how harry was gassing tf out of hogwarts to albus only for it to be shit? just know albus is telling the biggest horror stories about the school to their kid only for them to go there and for it to be fine. this is the visual vibe btw:

albus’ favourite kid is definitely the one who is most like scorpius in some way. but he will deny it

scorpius still tucks them in every night no matter if they’re adults

albus is the type to bitch out alllll of his kids’ friends. “i don’t like [insert friend]” “why” “they seem very…. fake.” “dad you literally have zero friends besides papa why are you speaking rn”

scorpius loves hosting his kids’ birthday parties (bonus if he can make it extravagant) and albus hates it (he dislikes every other child except his own)

albus the type of dad to get the malfoy white streak and a beer belly and blame it on the stress of being a father (he loves his kid(s) heaps, just to be clear).

scorpius would tell his kids when they fell down and scraped themselves that his kiss could make it better. and when he kissed their bruise or cut he’d do a tiny healing spell and fix it so for yearssss these scorbus kids thought their dad was had super magical kisses (yk damn well albus took advantage of that excuse 😭)

if they adopted a kid of another race to them, scorpius is going leaps and bounds to understand his baby’s culture and raise him accordingly so they don’t feel too disconnected (albus will do so too but scorpius would be such an expert at it because he’s a research freak).

i think scorbus would generally follow traditional wizard norms but their kids wouldn’t. the kids are living in the house until they are 35 or something. reason is because their standard of living at home is amazing. albus cooks the best food. they get spoilt rotten by scorpius. they have the combined fortune of two of the richest wizard families… yeah life is good

i shall stop it there but lmk if you want me to yap more because i havent even started on aunt lily and uncle james or their crazy grandparents 😭

[katsdynam1ght]

pleaseee rant about fuyumi and enji's relationship sometime. they are so important in my heart and i ONLY want to hear it from u bc your takes on enji. genuine breath of fresh air i mean it. I LOVE HIM + HIS HORRIBLE COMPLEXITY IM TIRED OF PRETENDING I DONT. i trust ur mind so much i would love to hear ur thoughts on them. 💕💕

anon i have no idea who you are but i adore you and will happily oblige

first and foremost let’s acknowledge that fuyumi is the only female child of four, and once her mother is out of the house and their caretaker is retired, she’s the only girl (and later woman) in the house at all. it’s stated in canon that she did all the cooking for natsuo after this, but that shouto (and presumably enji?) was not present to partake. what this implies is that fuyumi took on the motherly role once rei was gone: a very common experience for daughters of any age.

immediately, this makes their relationship complex. neglect aside, being forced into a parental role as a child is incredibly taxing, and we see evidence of how it’s affected fuyumi by her behavior in season five (intense people pleasing, desperation for everyone to get along, stress and anxiety when they don’t, etc). i do believe that she genuinely loves her father, but i also am sure that part of that love is fear. at such a young age (12) she lost both her older brother and her mother, barely knew her baby brother, and quickly had to play mom for her younger. if anything, this poor girl was terrified that she’d lose the others, too.

here’s where i want to note something that i think 98% of the fandom will disagree with me on: sending rei to a mental hospital was NOT the hellish abusive act everyone seems to think it is??? like dude. her baby just fucking died. her eldest child died (and she couldn’t stop it) and all they have left of him is a piece of his jaw. she broke. she hurt a five-year-old boy. if enji hadn’t sent her away, what else might she have done??? hurt the others? killed herself? dude. she was lost in her grief and needed help. that’s why he sent her away—it just comes off differently because we only learn about it from 5yo shouto’s perspective, and that kid was biased as fuck.

(also, there’s a panel or two somewhere of enji standing with flowers presumably at the hospital, and we know rei had flowers in her room. i am of the belief that he hand-delivered them (but couldn’t see her for obvious reasons) to ensure they were received because you know what? that man loves his family and his wife and he regrets everything he did. deal with it.)

(and i know nobody wants to hear this but rei loves him too. Deal With It.)

but i digress. let’s go back to fuyumi.

as the eldest daughter and pseudo-mother in her family, she also bears the brunt of everyone’s emotions. that is… just what happens. i don’t think anyone will deny that. women (especially in a traditional household like the todorokis) are emotional laborers and put in a position to be responsible for everyone’s peace. it’s exhausting, but it’s also the only thing fuyumi really has left if she wants to keep her family. and she does, obviously. they’re all she has. (this is something else that happens when you lose siblings or parents at such a young age, or when there’s a lot of conflict in the home. you just want to have a family. you want everyone to be happy. i personally have a very intimate understanding of how desperately fuyumi just wants her family back. that feeling never goes away.)

we don’t get a lot of information on what happens during the decade of shouto’s life from five to fifteen, which means we don’t get a lot on the rest of the family, either. rei has been in the hospital, natsuo has grown up and started at college, fuyumi has become a teacher and maintained her parental role, and enji has continued his career. we don’t know what the house looked like during this time and a lot of people have a lot of theories, but… hm. i don’t know. i think it’s hard to say. given the flowers for rei (and his arc throughout canon), i do think enji had to have made some changes during this time. but it’s hard to say how and how much and what impact it had. we know shouto was still pretty isolated throughout this, so… maybe not much. certainly not enough.

even so, it seems apparent that he and fuyumi have had a relationship throughout all of this. again, she has a tendency to people-please, and she loves her father, and her father (who again lost his eldest son and has only a fragment of his jaw bone) is a broken man. comforting him is only natural. it’s practically her responsibility (in feeling, not in fact). and enji, of course, because he has no other support network, relies on his daughter. he depends on her as men often depend on women (and obviously realizes his wrongdoing in this, as it’s part of his apology in season seven).

if you ask me, pre-war arc, i think their relationship is the most loving out of anyone in the family. it’s not healthy, not yet, but it can be made healthy much easier than the others can, and i think fuyumi is more willing to forgive him than anyone else. because the thing is—fuyumi is willing to acknowledge her father’s humanity.

i think this is one of the things that frustrates me most about the fandom’s response to enji. i understand where it comes from, of course, and i’m not saying he is by any means innocent. but there comes a point where you have to put your own biases aside and acknowledge a character’s humanity. it infuriates me to no end that this fandom will redeem the entire league of villains but cast endeavor aside and damn him for all eternity. i know why, again (because in fiction abuse is always worse than murder), but i don’t care. if a character has the capacity for repentance then they have the capacity for redemption.

i also never understand the difference between redemption and atonement because to me they’re the same thing, and enji is a prime example of it. he knows what he did wrong. he knows he can’t undo it. he won’t try to. all he can do (and what he Does do) is be better. how can anyone ask him of anything more. how DARE anyone ask him of anything more. he’s a mortal man, not God. that’s the entire point of the portrayal of MHA’s top heroes: they are not invincible deities. they’re human. they’re going to fail. and fail. and fail. and fail. but what makes them different from everybody else? they want to be good. they want to help others. they’re trying. they may fall and slip up and it may not all go according to plan, but damn it if they aren’t trying.

beyond everyone else, i believe fuyumi understands this. her father is not, can not, and will not ever be perfect. but he’s trying. she knows how human he is, firsthand. how can she ask him for more than the effort he’s given? this is already so much better than how things were before. and she loves him. and he loves her. she’ll wait as long as it takes for him to grow.

here i must note (as always) that i haven’t read the manga. i do not know how it ends. any time i see content about the todoroki family’s ending, i skim or scroll past to avoid spoiling myself. everything i say is based on my understanding of canon and of the characters and information we are given, and everything that follows this is purely how i plan to write the todoroki family in some future fic where i actually address all of this and force people to like enji.

i don’t know how any of their stories end, but i believe fuyumi keeps in touch with her father. visits. has family dinner when possible (minus natsuo, or scheduled so natsuo and enji can arrive at different times and avoid each other). she still visits her mother and her brothers. she loves all of them as much as she always has. enji doesn’t force anyone to keep in touch (and given his injuries i doubt he could even if he wanted to, but even if we diverge post-season six as i tend to do, he still wouldn’t try to keep anyone who doesn’t want to stay. i mean he built them a whole separate house. does the fandom just forget that) but they love each other, for sure. he’s proud of her. proud of all his kids really. not so much of himself. but he loves them so much more than he will ever be able to express. and fuyumi has grown into such an amazing young woman. i think he admires her more than she knows.

what really gets to me about the todoroki family and everyone’s misinterpretations of it is the amount of love in their household. so many people write it and there’s no love in sight, but that’s an immediate indicator that they don’t understand. because here’s the thing—that entire family is built on love and all the ways it goes wrong. there is so much love there it makes me sick. but none of them have any clue how to express it—and that’s the real tragedy of the todorokis. they’re all fated to get it wrong.

(“kats their marriage was arranged wtf do you mean enji and rei love each other” dude that’s the entire point. the fandom does rei a MASSIVE disservice by taking away her agency in that choice. she Knew what she was getting into and she Chose him. do NOT downplay this woman’s decision for the sake of shoving her into your helpless female victim battered wife box. fuck you. their marriage was arranged, but she agreed to it, and as stated, she was cold to him at first. but she opened up, they got to know each other, and damn you if you think they didn’t love one another then. they built that love brick by brick. how dare you suggest otherwise.)

i’m really beginning to go on some tangents here, so i think this is where i close. but the point that i’m trying to make overall is that there is so much love in that family and no capacity to express it. but i think enji and fuyumi try. i’m certain they figure out proper boundaries someday and he doesn’t put so much on her. i’m certain she still visits and i’m certain she forgives him. i’m certain he has a hard time believing that when she tells him, but that he swallows his doubt and thanks her anyway. he really is so proud.

thank you anon for this ask. it was a delight to wake up to and write out at the start of my day. i love talking about the todoroki family (i’m very passionate if you can’t tell) and if you ever have anything else you want to hear don’t be afraid to send another :)) i’m always happy to share my thoughts.

[pumpkinsy0]

Ok this might seem stupid but hear me out, perhaps we could get some headcanons of papercut in the events of the book but instead of Johnny it was Curly who stabbed the soc and him and Pony had to run away together? It would also be cool to see what the Curtis AND Shepard gangs reactions are

this aint stupid,,,,ur onto something here,,,,

•ok look, not REALLY related but curly woulda loved that white trash w mustangs and madras line, this white on white violence gotta STOP💔💯

•ANYWAYS, i think he’d put up more of a fight, he’d try to get to pony but they were outnumbered so he gets cornered, HOWEVER, he always carries some weapon on him, or maybe he picked up a coke bottle, POINT IS, bob still died lmao

•i dont think curly and pony would stay around that area as long as johnny and pony did, curly would want to leave as soon as he could so nobody could see them, so ponys forced to just get it together in under like 2mins so they could leave, so ponys disassociating badly

•theyd go to tim, curly doesnt like dally and tim IS his older brother, then tim would tell dally, and they still end up at the dirty ass church</3

•now curlys shaken up too, like hes not trying to show it to look tough, but hes never done THAT before, never flat out hurt someone that badly before, but he still doesnt regret it bc it was to defend pony, however considering hes black in the 60s in TULSA, hes so certain a judge will not gaf that it was outta self defense, so actually hes disassociatin too, they both a lil fucked up rn

•back at home, dally didnt tell darry or soda where they were but tim sure as hell did, he gets what darrys goin through cause theyre both older bros worryin over their younger bros, darry doesnt know HOW to react at all to it, he doesnt tell soda nor johnny, or anyone really, when two bit says he’ll go to texas (i think it was,,,) to look for him, darry says not to bother, so they all feel like darry knows where pony is and they dint know wether to be happy or terrified bc why isnt he tellin em or getting him??

•when it comes to the shepard gang, tim did tell some of em whats going on, only his trusted guys tho, theres basically nothing they CAN do to stop word from spreading about it bc the socs who were there already went to the cops, so they all have to lay low for a while, stay in line cause tim quite honestly cant handle anything more rn

•angela’s pretty much losing it too, shes drinking more, way more irritable, if one of the shepards is gone, ALL of em r losing it dawg

•in the church, curlys trying to act like his normal self but u can tell that he’s damn near close to losing it cause this could mean prison or the death penalty, hes so sure hes done for and pony wants to reassure him but holy fuck it aint lookin too good, they do their normal banger but u can feel this somber tension between the two as if this is gonna b their last moments together

•curly is NOT talking about turning himself in at all, he’d rather kill someone else to NOT go actually, on top of that tims telling him to stay hidden, dallys tellin him to stay hidden, so thats how he knows hes GOTTA stay there

•NOW THE FIRE, just like dally, curly dont care that much bout those kids im ngl, but bc ponys running in there, now HE has to help, boooooo👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽

•curly aint like johnny, hes grabbing those kids and pushing them out, whatever injuries they get outta that they gonna have to deal w later, its better than them being dead id think, when the church falls, honestly??? i think my main man curly gettin outta there in time, he lowkey DID push pony out the window cause he was taking too long and then jumped out bit aye, hes livin

•its either that or he risks it and takes the longer way out if like, the wood fell where the window was

•he aint livin without some injuries and scars tho, he did definitely break SOMETHING and got some burns on his hands and wherever else, but hes relatively fine, a part of the reason y is bc he wears a leather jacket, unlike johnny who wears a jean jacket, and jean jackets r more flammable, and as seen w pony, the leather jacket did help him a bit in that fire, he still is banged up tho

[wackpedion]

atcually im sending more characters i wanna see u talk abt them tell me abt stan or fiddleford or bill for the ask game

OKOK I JUST ANSWERED FOR FIDDLEFORD OKOKOKOKOKOKOK im so excited i love them. okok ok OK OK ok so from this ask game:

STAN

favorite thing about them

How he loves the kids soso much ouhho vh oh o my ghod Not What He Seems tear my heart out rn. like theyre his world its so... ouhgkhjhbjh........ makes me ill. the way he loves his family as a whole is SO important to me like like like like he values his family so much theyre his world the way he spent 30 years getting ford back GOD dont remind me of of the portal incident i cant hhhrrrr

least favorite thing about them

I suppose how stubborn he is with Ford but like, idk i get it man. hes been thro alot and the two are on rocky ground up until the end so ofc hes gonna act like that and hes not gonna be all that emotionally mature about it.

favorite line

goddd he has so many good lines hes so funny. "Soos, would it be wrong to punch a child?"

brOTP

fiddleford mcgucket i need them to be friends u dont understand. i need this so badly

OTP

ermmm No One ? ive seen some stanbill which i find funny but im not all that invested in it

nOTP

pinecest 👍

random headcanon

As kids he and Ford would often do the twin switcharoo as a fun kid prank, they thought it was the funniest coolest thing but they were actually very easy to tell apart past a first glance because they weren't all that good at lying and pretending (yet)

unpopular opinion

ig its only loosely stan related but roadside attraction should NOT have been aa episode with focus on stan WHERE IS FORD. THE EPISODE BEFORE THE BIG ONE THAT KICKS OFF WEIRDMAGEDDON AND THERES NO FORD!?!?!? kmsing kmsing but you already know how ifeel about it i told you all about it I Miss Ford. I miss my wife tails.

song i associate with them

LUSH BY MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE "everything i touch falls apart and i am left with nothingg everything i touch it turns to total garbage and i cant with and i dont know whyyyy!!!!" like like his insecurity about being the total screwup of the family, his many many failed businesses, the fact he broke fords project and also ended up pushing him into the portal, juistghfhbvhjhbb

favorite picture of them

i like him with his sailing outfit esp the the beanie its cute :3 and EEEE THE BROTHERSSSS <333333

BILL

favorite thing about them

whatever the fuck he has going on ford jesus christ what the fuck who let them get away twith this hello. hello. i cant elaborate cuz id just end up talking about billford forever but fjesuffucking christ

least favorite thing about them

Honestly sock opera didn't make much sense, like he wanted to destroy the laptop and journal cuz dipper was getting "too close", but the journal was needed to operate the portal which was what he Needed and Wanted. my best guess as to why he did that is cuz he didn't want them to find and go off the warnings Ford wrote esp in invisible ink but i dunno. perhaps its that the journals (esp journal 3) wrote of a way to destroy him, im guessing, since ford tosses them to dipper in weirdmageddon saying theres a way to destroy bill, but still. odd. Still my favourite episode tho!!!!

favorite line

"Fordsy, nobody else really gets you, do they? Without me, you'll always feel unseen, surrounded by dolts who don't recognize your full potential. You've always felt alone in a crowd, haven't you? Who else will give you this feeling again? Even if you got rid of me, you'd miss me. Admit it, you'd miss me."

"Reality is an illusion the universe is a hologram buy gold BYEEEEE"

"BY THE WAY IM SENDING SOMEONE TO STEAL YOUR EYES. THATS NOT A JOKE. I HAVE A FRIEND WHO WILL STEAL YOUR EYES."

"I have some children I need to TURN INTO CORPSES"

also. just his "Yello!" gag in the dreamscaperers. its so sutpid i love it

honestly UGHH hes so quotable i love like every one of his lines everytime hes on screen its a joy. any episode is a good episode with bill. hes such a good villain

brOTP

None reaally? I guess I would've loved more antics with the henchmaniacs, like that one deleted scene, I found them pretty funny

OTP

BILLFORD DO UE VEN HAVE TO ASK HHHHHGHH

nOTP

None I think, i guess fiddleford and bill but i said that already and tbh im mostly indifferent to it

random headcanon

iii havent fully cvuaght up on all the code and lore cracking of TBOB but from what ive picked up he had to take medicine as a kid which affected his eyesight? so my hc is that he has some lasting damage with his vision from that

unpopular opinion

yes the book of bill gave us bill euclydia dimension lore but no that doesnt ruin his character sure his backstory is sad but like. its not his focal point. it gives him depth and an explanation its GOOD. hes still the villain whos evil because! who does whatever he wants! for fun! a sad backstory and a charming villain whos motivation is Fun can coexist its not the end of the world

also this is directed at like One thing i saw on twt but He Would Fucking Not listen to msi oh my god he canonically hates synthesized music i hate you

song i associate with them

GOD i have a few ermm.... theyre like billford related tho so. hope thats cool. the one ive been obsessed with is New Invention by I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME its SO GFUCKING THEM DUDE ITS SO THEM LISTEN TO IT. NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! pls

favorite picture of them

every picture but ig if i had to choose him playing faggot piano for ford is up there

[naina285]

Admitting that I want love and a love so consuming but just from the other side (cuz thats always the safer option isn't? But whoever (imagine hypothetically) loves me (a lil bit delusional isn't?) , can always trust me , that I can guarantee.I will love but not show, cuz thats too risky and dangerous.)

It feels rather shameful to confess that I want love too. I want someone to be by side and tell me whatever I do , I do it for people from a place of good intentions and I want people to see that cuz whoever does a good deed always makes sacrifices and suffers for fucks sake. I did it with a true heart and when I need u, u r supposed to repay back to the person who had ur back isnt? But no they ofc wont do that. I did not be there for u just so that I could get the same thing back in return but I had a true heart and very pure and good intentions. Where the fuck are ur intentions? Just absolutely nothing.Fuck this world. Sometimes u gotta be a people pleaser I guess. I mean I am not a people's pleaser and try to stay out of poeple and just form connections that are deep but not too deep. But I do lie on the spectrum of people pleasing atleast mildly I think. Sometimes u gotta do that slightly, to preserve a bond with a person and just being too independent, arrogant ,self reliant is just gonna make u have no connects and make u seem like an outcast. Sometimes the connections are not unconditional. Thats the sad part. Its fucking rare.

People do whatever the fuck they want and I gotta deal with it. Like its kinda not definite. Like their actions are hurtful but not too hurtful cuz that was expected out of people being that way so its not shocking.So I dont really know the limits and where to draw the line. Addressing how hurt I feel is just not gonna solve the issue cuz at this point the understanding that we have in this bond is perfectly synced. They know exactly what makes me happy and sad cuz I know abt theirs too. So at this point just stating the obvious seems useless. Dont want to waste my already drained energy. I dont like forgiving people. I fucking hate it with all my soul. But I fucking have to act nonchalant abt it , like it doesnt bother and doesnt faze me at all. I let it slip away and I tell myself it isnt really a big deal. It the fuck is. But I just downplay it for the welfaree of everyone and I dont really like drama cuz that doesnt solve anything. So I just have to take everything in . Gotta be the bigger person who forgives. The person who has got a big heart. Fuck that. I want to be a person who has no heart. But I do own one unfortunately.

This is all about my friendships btw. Not the best out there. Manageable for the time being. Quite economical I would say. Just does the job u know. Would I want to be friends with them like for a long time after uni? Not really. I expect the bare minimum from them which is basically nothing and still they manage to hurt me so like fuck it. I like them but hate them too.

Friendships weren't like this when I was a kid or even a teen. Adulting just changes everything isnt. U see the true colours of people. Everything happens in a friendship other than actually focusing on the friendship aspect.

Ok going back to how I want a person (my Baymax to be specific) that someone tells me that what I feel is valid and I am not being overdramatic or too sentimental. I know seeking external validation is just gonna bring disappointment but like alas. Look what cynicism does to a girl.

[doyouevenshipbr0]

i just finished live action avatar the last airbender. buckle up. obv spoilers incoming.

~

honestly just gonna list the good and the bad and give a number rating at the end. this will be long. also THIS IS JUST MY OPINION!!!! nothing i say is right or wrong. dont hurt me.

the good

sokka (ik this is controversial bc of his actor okokokok im js purely from a performance standpoint he ate)

zuko (absolutely devoured)

fight scenes!!!! obv not as good as the animated (we knew this) but i still enjoyed

zhao!!!!!! do not sleep on him he killed this!!

KIYOSHI!!! ARE U KIDDINGGG

overall loved the focus on avatars other than roku

suki/suki and sokka

attack on the air nomads… ik it was unnecessary and a little hard to watch but still was v interesting

azulaaaaa and the fact that we see her this season. LOVE this addition. also the way they added her was veryyyyy well done. didnt feel forced.

bumi/how they handled the bumi arc in general. some parts i actually like better than the og. like how aang knew he was bumi right away. makes way more sense to me.

sokka and katara has some very sweet and genuine moments

aang and gyatso reunion awwww

omg. the “twist” with the 41st division that zuko accidentally saved becoming his crew. the bestttttt change that they made. i loved this. something so small but felt SO impactful.

yue/sokka and yue. this is a BIG one bc i think the original show really lacks with how they wrote yue and especially her relationship with sokka. i think it was a lot better here.

when zhao admits at the end he was working w azula and that ozai was just using zuko to motivate azula. omg. that was such a cool thing they added

and now. the bad.

aang. JDHSKSJDJ SORRYYYY dont care! he got better as the show went on. overall acting wasnt great and the writing for him definitely did not help

katara OOPSIES HEHEHE sorry but again same thing. kind of a dull performance. where is her PASSION?!?! wanted to like her so bad bc katara is my girl and this girl was giving katara on paper but the performance was just kinda bleh. didnt hate but DEFINITELY did not love.

costumes. dying on this hill i do not care. it was giving spirit of halloween. and some of these wigs…. yue’s wig? azula’s fuck ass pieces hanging out? HOW MAI AND TY LEE LOOKED IN GENERAL?! ouch

^in general mai and ty lee did not need to be here at ALLLLL. def shouldve waited till s2 for their appearances.

where is the silliness? where is the humor? hardly tried to embody the fun spirit of the original and when it did it failed miserably.

gran gran saying the thing. that’s katara’s thing.

too much exposition dumping.

first ep was by far the worst imo. how sokka and katara came across/met aang? WOW what a let down holy shit.

they should’ve kept it as aang running away from the southern air temple. not that he went for a late night drive with appa. dont care that this is a small thing. it is a HUGE part of aang’s character.

idk how to word this one and i think ppl would disagree anyways. but they are making iroh too obviously “good”. ykw i mean? when we first meet him, we know he’s not like the rest of the fire nation but we still don’t truly know where his morals lie. this show made it too obvious too soon.

why did katara never train w pakku?? that makes 0 sense. i understand she was mostly self taught throughout s1. but the whole thing was that: yes, katara was good before pakku, but when she finally did get a master, she became EXPONENTIALLY better and really came into her own. i am not buying that she becomes the master katara we know and love without learning from pakku. so unrealistic. when zuko says “u found a master” and she said “yes ur looking at her”. oh girlboss feminism u are going to HELL!

would like to take a moment to say^^^ i am a feminist ok. do nottttt get it twisted. but girlboss feminism is brainrot.

aang. did not bend. a single drop of water. are u fucking KIDDING ME? that was nuts.

really felt like if u did not watch the original series, this show would feel SO all over the place and u would have so many “wtf is happening” moments. the whole omashu shit was kind offfffff a mess. i see where they were going and why they were doing that but in hindsight after the fact i was like… if i knew nothing ab this show that would have been the most confusing clusterfuck.

and i think my biggest/most general complaint that i already talked about that i will briefly touch on: trying to do too much. why are we putting in characters and plot points that do not come till seasons 2-3 and are completely unnecessary now (secret tunnel, wan shi tong, swamp-kinda episode, etc.)

final thoughts?

it was enjoyable. i cannot deny that. landscapes were gorgeous. fights were well choreographed and looked GOOD. some changes were genuinely made for the better, and even changes that i do not necessarily think were better, i could respect the creativity of some changes and understood why they were there. but overall, as most live action remakes go, this was a flat portrayal of one of the greatest pieces of fiction of all time that suffered from some overly ambitious ideas and dull writing with little to no sense of whimsy. while some performances exceeded expectations, others that were crucial to the integrity of this show really disappointed me.

overall: 6.6/10. this number is completely subject to change.

[krytus]

how would u fix the show!

thank you for this completely unprompted question

okay so first i would literally Start w harrow and viren killing thunder the dragon. because that is the inciting incident. of the show. like throw out all the exposition and Show us the conflict between humans and elves. that s3 flashback scene could work as an introduction scene with some tweaking. harrow kills the dragon and hes like yayyy revenge but then viren pushes. the first thing viren should do on screen is manipulate his best friend into doing something terrible. prologue over.

skip a few days forward whateverrr introduce the princes. flesh our their relationship w their dad. maybe the first thing he does when he gets back from his Murder is tell them he did it for their mother. maybe he's acting a bit different now a bit distant. but the relationship between harrow and his sons should be like. actually thematically important? instead of. not.

harrow tries to shield his sons from the truth of what he did he tries to be the same man but theres a hint of that, my god what have i done? he did something terrible and bold. have his people be like. happy their queen is avenged but also like. expecting retaliation. compare killing thunder to humans first learning dark magic. great power heavy price. viren being like literallyyyy dont worry about it. elf racist. god i would make viren so elf racist but couch it in like. he wants what was taken from them -- positions himself as the avenger of humanity the way harrow avenged sarai. what we're doing is right. they started this. etc etc. dont make all the adult characters so fucking stupid and useless. have harrow face some friction from his advisors/councilors. but he's still the king. oh and throw in his notions of wanting to be a fair + just king. how do his actions fit into that childish dream? they dont. facing his flaws.

anyways okay all that happens. one, two episodes max we get to know the human side of the conflict. and thennn stinger for the end of that first arc is well. elves r done being sad its time to get revengeeee. instead of a group assassination, its just rayla and runaan. two person team bc strength isnt in numbers its a stealth mission. sneak in slaughter their targets get back. an eye for an eye. give rayla that motivation of wanting to avenge her cowardly parents/their failure. runaan being like this isnt a childs game this is for serious. and rayla being like yeah im not a kid + wanting to prove herself too. okay two man team we can still throw in rayla being unable to kill one guy. and that kinda ruins the mission. now theres tension. who do you root for? no ones doing the right thing. theyre all being terrible.

and then maybe the princes have a fight w their father their king. callum not wanting to seem ungrateful for all he's been given but ezran thinking what his father did was wrong. see he doesnt have that connection w his mother he was a baby when she died. but still being his mother's son and like she wouldnt have wanted you to do that. in the binary world of good and evil that exists in a ten year old's head, killing someone for something as abstract as revenge is evil. especially if you develop his bond w animals over humans.

okay so major turning point. rayla still sneaks into the palace alone runaan breaks away. the princes can still run away w her -- ezran being the one whos like. our dad did something wrong and i want to fix it. callum coming along to protect his brother. they leave Knowing how its going to destroy their father but that relationships tainted now. hes not the man they thought he was. but theyre going to go to the elves and prove that not all humans are bad. woefully childish dream, like wanting to be a good and just king.

anyways ok so the princes disappear. runaan fails and gets captured. viren realizes the egg is gone and who likely took it. urges harrow to find them bc he wants his prize back. he has plans. harow being like yeah obvs im sending my best to get my boys back.

okay and then you knowww. but big thing for me. for ME. is developing the fallout between viren and harrow because viren Wants the war. he needs the war. he needs to prove he is special and right. and harrow realizing he made a mistake. he chose death over life. becoming increasingly desperate to get his sons back. but at the end of it, he decides against escalation. he trusts his boys. he trusts their dreams.

and THERE. there. viren betrays him. harrow is going to do the right thing and viren wont allow him to be weak. and harrows like treason? you would kill your king? and virens like oh youre no use to me dead. i need you to see i was right + puts him in a coin (explicitly gives him a fate worse than death) and goes on trying to start a war w xadia. there. we have manipulator viren heroic harrow w agency a sense of urgency for the prince's mission and a conflict that's not easy to peg into good guys and bad guys. that took me what? a day to think of. tdp should have been good should have been nottt bad. amen

[caphayzardous]

arcane season 2 spoilers

anyway we all know I only care about viktor. I kinda feel like there were some major scenes missing there. like yeah i get what happened off-screen for all that, just that personally I am always interested in "watching someone become a cult leader" u know. or become a robot freaky guy. I think that a bit more of that corruption could have been shown because it's Interesting. and also because he ended up being kind of important to the Plot right but was not really.. Around. anyway large main cast and only 9 episodes I get it my fave will never have enough screentime etc etc.

and then also idk he had that happy cult where yes he could inhabit their bodies at will, but they did otherwise seeming to be thriving and having free will (I think?) and like. the turn from that to 'no I gotta take away the free will' is a bit like rushed LMAO. like yeah it was going to go that way but really, like that? sure he got exploded, plus it's da magic and stuff messing with him a bit, it's not just viktor-as-we-knew-him making that leap, but yeah man idk

all of this pairs alongside with my other complaint which is: Too Much of Jayce being Boring As Fuck again ! mans boring what can i say. whats up with that scene where he busts in and ruins like 4 different happy endings at once. I know that's ostensibly because some future viktor encouraged it, but then that act was also the turning point for vitkor fully 'evolving' people, so ? idk maybe he woulda got to that point anyway (you know what cults, literally all cults, are like)

Jinx was interesting, Vi and Jinx still have an interesting story together, the back and forth "one last betrayal, one last I've-always-got-your-back" maybe was a bit like drawn out right at the end but hey it suits 'em. I liked Jinx's arc w da kid. The entire time I was watching this season i was remembering someones commentary of s1 which was "damn this show really likes to kill children, huh" and uh well Yeah. rip but in terms of plot that one was real cheap and I think honestly boringly predictable to do the 'rip it all away again' thing for jinx. round 3!

A bit interesting watching Jinx go quiet depwession and Vi go rage depwession but perhaps also I just think after a whole season 1 of tragedy it was like man . . . can they catch a break though. and I dont think that having jinx do the sacrifice at the end was really necessary or satisfying. it was satisfying having those two unite. but I think jinx has actually died enough LMAO

Cait's arc. uhhh. like. man. woof. nah. pretty fucking egregious choices, words, and actions, there! she kinda fucked up a lot this season. I was vouchin for her and Vi in s1 but honestly by the end of this one I'm liek dude. like idk about that. I guess Vi already compromised or rewrote her morals when she agreed to uhh [checks notes] "Gas Civilians utilising Zaun's literal air ventilation systems" while hunting for her sister. so. sure. the cell makeout scene was so funny for how intensely censored it was.

Ekko was cool I liked His Episode w the parallel stuff that was interesting and also a bit sweet. he kinda faded into da background a bit all season and hten I thought he was going to come in clutch but he kinda didnt. I mean he did, in the way everyone did, but not for the actual resolution.

speaking of the resolution look idk space viktor scenes are ok they are like. ehh. ok. that imagery was all a bit wishy-washy 4 me. but it was alright. kinda sweet to have those two reunite sure but. idk their friendship breakup wasnt like...... I mean it was like a gradual falling out? sorta? 'jayce growing apart from viktor' and then 'viktor refusing to compromise his morals any further and deciding to leave' u know I think its nice they were partners at the end again but who am I kidding jayce is too boring for me to give a fuck his friendship (or... whatever we are calling it :) ) with viktor IS interesting but once its over im kinda like good riddance !

Mel is cool idk man I didnt expect her to disappear and come back a mage umm like she was a bit more interesting as a manipulator or even as A Person u know ? but good for her. As for Ambessa I will say she is. well. consistent. actually, until the robots thing - I know she's obsessed with obtaining A Weapon but that particular angle doesnt seem to align with her principles at all. but yknow. these things happen. still kind of tracks for obsession to win there.

Who else. uhh. why DID heimerdinger explode asfjsknd. did that serve any purpose. also Sevika had the MOST "this character will be killed off" energy for all of BOTH seasons I actually cant believe she lived to the end.

all in all. I liked season 1 more, I maaay have liked this one more if I had rewatched it beforehand, because I was playing a little bit of catch-up and the emotional points may have hit harder if I had rekindled my investment in the characters that s1 did stoke so well. I did like this one though. but. was not as moved by it and just kind of wanted to see how it all ended. and then it all ended and I was like ah ok. thats ok I guess.

in s1 I was all in for the tragedy and p sure I cried a bunch at various things lmao. in this one I felt like it was just hmm not cheap exactly but idk none of it really landed. maybe you can only watch vi scream and punch a wall so many times?

the animation still rocks though. (except why was one random guy in the last episode given normal eyes where everyone else is cartoon? it was so noticeable?) I like the sequences of Different Style as well. fun stuff.

did find it a bit funny how no one (of the main characters) is ever allowed to win in a one-on-one because they are all part of an equal and balanced Video Game its just kind of funny in the cooonstant match-ups in the show when you sort of pick that like. every fight is going to be interrupted, or made uneven by numbers, or etc etc for some reason and no one can ever appear to have too much of an advantage over anyone else, hahah.

[bloogers-boogers]

College AU hc:

Cartman is asexual and sex repulsed. He has a huge crush on Kyle that's pretty obvious to everyone around him. Kyle assumes that Cartman is just lusting after him and wants sex from him, but it's far from the truth. Ah yes, Cartman's homoerotic fantasy: holding hands, cuddling and hugs, how kinky lol.

I can see that, with how much it’s implied that Cartman’s has been sexually abused in the show he’ll probably prefer to stay away from anything related to intercourse. And of course eventually Kyle has to learn to be understanding of Cartman’s preferences. Tho I feel there’s gonna be alot of complications in their relationship because of this same issue but they’ll manage to overcome it after a brief time.

However I also see Kyle just cuddling Cartman after a huge fight they had because of this.

I see Cartman still not telling Kyle of being asexual just admitting his sex repulse but is never taken seriously because he tends to joke about it instead.

They were in middle of a makeout session while in bed and Kyle got turned on and just flipped Cartman over outta pure lust; he wasn’t being harsh but it was obvious what was on his mind as he plant small kisses on Cartman’s ears while grabbing his waist, in Kyles mind he was being sweet and romantic but ofcourse Cartman did not react well to it and kicked Kyle off shouting profanities at him as the shouting escalated.

“¡I get you want my hot body so damn much but that doesn’t give you the right to manhandle me!”

“¡I’m sorry, Cartman! I- I dont know what happened in me but I would have never gone further from that!”

“U huh, but you couldn’t just NOT flipped me over?? How the fuck am I suppose to trust you if you do shit like that!???”

“¡Fuck you, Eric! If you really see me capable of doing the shit those pigs did to you as a kid!”

*complete silence*

“You think…”

“What else do you expect me to believe? After you keep reacting like I’m about to rape you!”

“Kyle…” Cartman bites his down lip, he sighed defeated calming himself down as he rubs his face, “Kyle i don’t- I know you would never.. I- look, im sorry okay? I just.. don’t feel like going to that length.”

“Why not!? You keep dogging it and not explaining me why! Am I not good enough? Cause by this point I believe you find me disgusting.”

Cartman stares at Kyle in awe before walking towards him and holding on to his flushed cheeks, “Kyle I think you’re the most beautiful man out there..”

Cartman can hear Kyle gulp as he stares at him deeply into his eyes; listening to him attentively.

“I just don’t want to have sex, I find it disgusting.” He moves away, now arms crossed facing away from Kyle. “The act of two individuals taking off their clothes, rubbing against each other for fricción and some humping to gain pleasure .. I find it not only a humiliating display but a desperate act of attention.

When the most pleasurable thing you could receive is some warm hugs, kisses and hand holding. Isn’t that enough to please someone at whole? It’s enough for me.” He turns to look at Kyle; who now looks very confused. Cartman groaned annoyed, rolling his eyes, “Kyle I’m asexual you dumbass!”

“YOU’RE WHAT”

[intertexts]

ok you asked about my sad fish boy i hope u know how much of a mistake that is. holy shit. dude jrwi is so fucking good. if u need a new dnd podcast may i please recommend jrwi..theyre pirates. ohhh my god theyre pirates .

so. uhm. fish boy. his name is gillion tidestrider (champion of the undersea, hero of the deep, etc etc about a billion more titles that he just keeps aquiring as the campaign goes on) and hes a paladin with ohhhhh so much of a hero complex. oh my god. dude. hes so . everything to me . (played by charlie slimecicle btw. that guy is so fucking good at balancing silly goofy moments with heartwrenching voice acting. in one of the most recent episodes he is literally. hanging from a hook through his hands missing chunks of skin on 1hp literally only alive because he happened to cast death ward on himself. and hes wearing those goddamn trout fish sandals that u see on facebook ads or whatever.)

uhm. so. holy shit. where do i even start. he is the chosen one of a prophecy that says its his duty to one day choose who will survive between the undersea (triton, underwater creatures, where he grew up) and the oversea (basically. land.) and the other will be destroyed. so when he was very young (i want to say maybe like..5 or 6? i dont remember im actually searching for that info rn for the thing im writing) he was taken away from his family to begin training with the Elders (basically the. rulers of the undersea) . my boy he was raised to be a weapon. he was raised to be a tool (<< real canon words out of his own mouth). my favorite little child soldier. he wore armor that was too big for him and carried swords that were taller than he was. he was raised to put protecting others over his own safety so he rushes out into danger without even thinking about how it might affect him. he is so passively suicidal and ready to sacrifice himself at any minor inconvenience that when this information is eventually put in front of him his response is "what? no, thats what im Supposed to do." a very important phrase for him in early episodes was "whats one more burden?"

also he has a pet frogtopus (frog + octopus) her name is pretzel and she rides around in a little orb on his belt and also on his shoulders sometimes. i love her

(<- official art. shes so perfect in every way)

I THINK I MIGHT BE RUNNING OUT OF SPACE SOON BUT HE ALSO HAS AN OLDER SISTER AND SHES EVERYTHING TO ME OHMYGOD . her name is Edyn and shes so. uaghghhh if i think about her for too long i start crying. im writing a fic from her pov as we speak. she was the only one who would visit him during his training as a kid she was his best friend she wanted to protect him but she was also just a kid so she couldnt do anything but try her best to comfort him. shes the one who gave him pretzel. ohhh my god. i lvoe you edyn tidestrider youre everything to me. giving you a freshly written unedited at all snippet from the fic im writing because it describes how i feel about their dynamic so much better than i could possibly type out in a tumblr ask::::

uhnmmm what else. im so insane about the tidestrider siblings forever. do not get me wrong the other PCs in this campaign are also excellent and i love them (Jay is the daughter of a navy captain who defected to join a pirate crew to figure out what caused the death of her older sister. Chip is. oh boy. orphan who was taken in by a pirate crew when he was 7. pirate crew in question was swallowed by some sort of magic force that corrupted literally a fourth of the globe. but he somehow survived and is now trying to find out if his old family is still alive. jay and chip are like adopted siblings to me. chip and gillion had to roll a performance check for a kiss one time and they both got nat 20s and its all gone downhill from there for them. i love jay and chip dearly but something abojt gillion just scratches a very specific itch in my brain i love him so much and its only partially because hes a fish and im the fish guy.) ALSO I FORGOT TO MENTION GILLION IS CANONICALLY ASEXUAL and this is a fact that actually has come up within canon and is not just a word of god twitter mention fact. no. my boy is actively asexual and it makes me soooooo happy forever.

uh. sorry for the wall of text. infodump over. im forever crying abojt pirates and fish people . thank u i love u

OUSUGHFGHFJHH................... I LIKE UR FISH BOY MAC. IM A BIG FAN OF UR FISH BOY. i heard paladin with a hero complex & it was immediately a direct hit thats so... ouuhgh. child soldier character type of guy makes me go bonkers!!!! this whole paragraph is like five critical hits in a row... im so curious now.... also ive seen SO much art for these guys jay also looks so cool? her art is always so compelling 2 me... anyway OUHG. i'm currently working my way through friends at the table twilight mirage (meticulously crafted post-utopian cyberpunk/science fiction about mechs and gods and mech gods and more specifically Dead mech gods & living in their husks & humanity & nonhumanity & empire, etc) + tryna catch up on critrole but... hgghhbh. we'll see. we'll see what happens...

[borathae]

chapter 1

“Thank you good sir” i havent seen this in a serious manner in a long time, and laughed cuz it sounded like 1890s memes 😭 im sorry

pulls the door open with ease. NO WAY I PUSHED AN PULL DOOR BYE U DIDNT HAVE TO ATTACK SOME OF US LIKE THAT 😭 violence i will be meditating

ALSO IS IT TAE OR JIN AAH HOLD ON JOON IS TALL TOO maybe kook??

“I’ve been a student here for quite some time actually” this sits at the same table as "how long have you been 17? a while"

oh it was jooniebug WHY IS OUR PRESIDENT A DICK 😭😭

“At least I don’t look like a stoner from the seventies” JIN STOP, HOBI U LOOK AMAZING

funky what is funky why is funky when is funky where is funky how is funky who is funky

what is she studying to have history and human anatomy together?/srs. ooh literature with different stuff for minor

boi i havent heard the word coolio in a decade, the last time probably while reading ff in 2014

oh my god its the bad boy. is it yoongi? YES I WAS RIGHT

4 HOUR LECTURE ON ONE TOPIC?? BOI I WOULD HAVE DIED AND RESURRECTED IN THAT TIME. i have 2 hour lectures with 5 minute after an hour and its amazing

"No reason really”, *plays why u always lying meme

Hoseok agrees with a quirk of his perfectly styled eyebrow. YES HIS EYEBORWS ARE HOT AS FUCK

ofc kook is a sports major

rest of the Alpha dirt”, damn hoseok really got beef with them

status from royal blood? eww hoseok is slay for that *me acting like i wasnt being a thot while reading yoongi, tae, kook drabbles/oneshots

FUCK SOCIETY

“Dear lord, give me strength”, jin and joon with bangtan

JIMIN WTF U WERE SUPPOSED TO BE LIL FLUFF BEAN *bitch stop u knew how they were in the beninging(yes i misspelled for the meme) YES KICKING IN THE SHIN SUPREMACY

what is a hacky sack? i found out its a game? but what is he exactly studying lol?

also its the way she is making friends and talking to people LIKE SHE SPOKE WORDS YALL could never be me, sure i would have asked someone to help me to my classes but i wouldnt be talking after that, would have said im busy even though im not

if you would excuse me, but you’re quite weird, BYE IM LEAVING THE EARTH THIS IS THE 2ND TIME IM EMBARRASSED you can find me in 134340 business days, where i will be rotting under my blankie bye

“Perfect, now that everyone is welcomed accordingly. an example of when theater theaters in the most theater form

It leaves you wondering what he meant with that. u know what he meant by that, this is where you do the whole twilight thing

“I feel I just witnessed a man high on three different drugs theatre kids in a nutshell (apparently people on tumblr are either gay, english major or a theatre kid, and i sent the meme to my friends, guess what they said................... "looks like you fit all three category" our schools dont have it, but im apparently a theatre kid to them 😭)

WHY DOES THIS MAN WANT TO KILL ME SHUT UP I HATE YOU GO AWAY *gets closer again

How is he walking that quietly you walk with your entire feet, part by part, like in those "special" shoes ads, that helps in reducing sound. slow yet quick

“well, that is indeed a predicament.” oof so elegant, classy, AND RUDE (there 2seok, happy?)

your voice actually comes out squeaky. girl mine would have came quiet yet squeaky way before 😭

BABY CONNECT THE DOTS HOW DID THEY GET THAT FAST QUIETLY??

let’s get the 1860 one.” IS SHE THAT SPECIAL?? WHATS GOING ON AAAH

Seokjin actually answers him with a quiet “yeah!” OFC HE WOULD DO THAT

THEY GOT DEAD BODIES IN THE FREEZER

If you died here tonight EXACTLY U GONNA DIE BYE GIRL, YOU WILL (NOT) BE MISSED jk jk lol

ig kook is scared of girls *eww that was cringe bye Maybe he just needed to take a really urgent shit OH MY GOD PLS😭😭 this is going to stay in my mind forever, everytime i see him running im gonna think of this no doubt

“exactly, that is the reason. He is really shy.” aww such a shy lil bean OK BUT IK THATS NOT THE REASON *inserts suspicious hobi eyes

you must have the crispiest oxygen sounds like an indian water ad, that said "more of oxygen " Arrey yaar h2o water has not turned into h2o2 toxic hydrogen peroxide 😭

i love ur descriptions, they are very picturable and i love the vibes. it is soo good, i could smell the place? the seats, library, just the university smell, restaurant. it was great. i dont think my words do any justice lol

NO WAY I PUSHED AN PULL DOOR BYE U DIDNT HAVE TO ATTACK SOME OF US LIKE THAT 😭 violence i will be meditating

I think this is like a universal human experience to push a few pull doors lmaooa

ALSO IS IT TAE OR JIN AAH HOLD ON JOON IS TALL TOO maybe kook??

questions over question mhmhmmhm

oh it was jooniebug WHY IS OUR PRESIDENT A DICK 😭😭

QUESTIONS OVER QUESTIONS INDEED

what is she studying to have history and human anatomy together?/srs. ooh literature with different stuff for minor

honestly? i gotta be honest with you, don't think too deeply about the logistics of her studies. i chose her courses for the sake of plot and nothing else LMAOAO

boi i havent heard the word coolio in a decade, the last time probably while reading ff in 2014

coolio still slaps like 10/10 word (also you see how I made them using "outdated" words wink wink almost as if they were from a different time wink wink)

oh my god its the bad boy. is it yoongi? YES I WAS RIGHT

BADBOY YOONGI AWOO

Hoseok agrees with a quirk of his perfectly styled eyebrow. YES HIS EYEBORWS ARE HOT AS FUCK

THEY ARE THANK YOU FOR SAYING THAT

ofc kook is a sports major

djjfja thinking back, it makes no sense for him to also study JFJDAFJ (you'll understand it later fasdjfj)

JIMIN WTF U WERE SUPPOSED TO BE LIL FLUFF BEAN *bitch stop u knew how they were in the beninging(yes i misspelled for the meme) YES KICKING IN THE SHIN SUPREMACY

HAHHHAHAH he may have tricked you fadjfjas

what is a hacky sack? i found out its a game? but what is he exactly studying lol?

yes it's a game fakdsfka in theory he studies dance PLEASE don't think too much about the logistic I literally just went with vibes

also its the way she is making friends and talking to people LIKE SHE SPOKE WORDS YALL could never be me, sure i would have asked someone to help me to my classes but i wouldnt be talking after that, would have said im busy even though im not

i get both sides like i would want to make friends but would be too scared that they would hate me FADJFJ if people like 2seok talked to me though? helloooooo :)

if you would excuse me, but you’re quite weird, BYE IM LEAVING THE EARTH THIS IS THE 2ND TIME IM EMBARRASSED you can find me in 134340 business days, where i will be rotting under my blankie bye

hahahahhaha this part is actually so embarassing bHAHAHHAHAHAH

“I feel I just witnessed a man high on three different drugs theatre kids in a nutshell (apparently people on tumblr are either gay, english major or a theatre kid, and i sent the meme to my friends, guess what they said................... "looks like you fit all three category" our schools dont have it, but im apparently a theatre kid to them 😭)

i don't get the hate on theater kids, all I see is people who don't fit into the "societal norm" and are therefore labelled as weird losers. we don't have stuff like "theater kid" or "sports kid" in Austria either becuse school is solely there to study not to offer clubs but I still never understood the weird hatered some clubs get in America jfdjfa

THEY GOT DEAD BODIES IN THE FREEZER

👀👀👀👀

ig kook is scared of girls *eww that was cringe bye Maybe he just needed to take a really urgent shit OH MY GOD PLS😭😭 this is going to stay in my mind forever, everytime i see him running im gonna think of this no doubt

as for now it seems like he is ooooh 👀

“exactly, that is the reason. He is really shy.” aww such a shy lil bean OK BUT IK THATS NOT THE REASON *inserts suspicious hobi eyes

SUSPICIOUS INDEED MHHHHM

i love ur descriptions, they are very picturable and i love the vibes. it is soo good, i could smell the place? the seats, library, just the university smell, restaurant. it was great. i dont think my words do any justice lol

OMGG THANK YOU!! gosh this is actually such a big compliment :( I'm so happy to know that I managed to really make you exprience the place gaaah thank you for this review heheh 💜💜

[daenystheedreamer]

idk if i should send this as like an ask or a message but the latest omeagorverse post is so delicious and wonderful omg. LOVE WINS! like the detail of the subtle violence of viserys three births really caught my eye. having to have three c- sections to have his children is such a small but important detail to me. did maegor stop making him have children after three because he wasn't producing any more boys or because his body couldn't take being cut open again? and also like I love the surprising detail of Viserys having the autonomy to name his children and naming babyjay after his brother idk I don't want to misinterpret anything but to me that is surprising for maegor to do or allow (like I would've thought he would name his kids all maegor maenor visenya2) just very interesting that he still chooses to honor his family and history in his own fucked up way. like sorry your brother jae is dead :/ you can name our baby after him tho! thanks for the hier ;)

any and all scraps and morsels that you give on this AU are always beyond fabulous!!!

MWAH hello bestie from my puter always lovely to hear from you heartiest apologies for letting you languish in my inbox for honestly probably weeks i dont have a concept of time 😭 answers below <3

c-sections in history are always so visceral i love them 🫶 alyssa velaryon murdered by rogar i LOVED that i loved adapting that to viserys/aemma. childbirth is such a violent act in westeros it really comes across as gendered domestic violence at times, the way it is simply expected for women to destroy their bodies/die in the process of producing an heir for their husband who doesnt daf about them beyond their ability to do this, and then the dismissiveness that men will consider this with. like how tywin is so uncaring about how he has set this up for cersei's life. and c-section is such a fun horror when u dont have epidurals lol so i jst HAD to do c-section<3 plus i didnt want to think about the mpreg reproductive system lol

there's a certain horror too with how close births are in westeros. it's mostly a plot thing but having children every year without modern medicine is so evil... jae/viserra/daenys are all born within a five-year timeline starting from when vis is 15(sorry baby<3) years 44, 47, and 48. i think maegor did try to have more after that but a combo of fate/destiny/dragon has three heads/destroying vis' body it ended after that and maeg was like well if one dies there's two more. plus i think while he would value a son>daughter for Society reasons he respects viserra more than jae cos power>social norms. so he's ultimately fine with the three heirs he has, though he def enjoys tormenting vis with the thought of having to go through another birth ^_^ also i figure after the double whammy 2 daughters in 2 years rhaena is like Put your dick away or i chop it off.

and yee vis picks the names mostly<3 i think he doesnt ask maegor for ANYTHING cos no doubt maegor will use it to fuck with him but when he has a son he's like please please please can i name him after jaehaerys. plus it'll be comnfusing if there's two viseryses. i think maegor would want to name his son aegon as a power play (after his father + to spit on aegon the uncrowned's grave) but he's like damn u actually asked something of me instead of pissing yourself and crying, Ight fine but the next one has to be named after visenya. which makes viserys go a little crazy cos if there's one thing he knows the gods will love its a maegor kid named VISENYA. they compromise on viserra (aww<3 normal marriage!). then its daughter #2 and maegor's like yeah idgaf anymore. if it was a boy he'd name it aegon but its a stupid girl so he's like god idk name is aegelle for all i care. so vis picks daenys after the dreamer.

oo and whenever vis snaps and gets pissy about maegor treating him like horseshit maegor is like well i let you name the kids didnt i. arent you grateful for that lmao i let you name my HEIR. i give you everything... and vis is like sigh might kill myself about this. and it's all part of maegor's grand Make Viserys Insane plan that he's not even doing consciously he just thinks its funny that viserys cries for months after giving birth to jaehaerys cos lol YOU chose to name him after your dead brother! i said aegon YOU chose jae!

canon maegor was really focused on having an heir cos it was like the one masculine ideal he couldnt achieve but i feel like once he's had the kid he doesn't care about them beyond that. his parenting strategy is that kids should just be swole from birth and if they arent that's their problem its not his job to raise them. as The Mother it is viserys' job to raise the kids into mini maegors/visenyas and if the kids dont turn out that way it is viserys' fault.

anyway ily 🫶 hope that was an okay answer<3 im honestly considering making a seperate sideblog for this content cos its so embarrassing 😭

[pumpkinsy0]

If you’re okay with it, headcanons about the Shepard’s house/each of their rooms? (The way it looks and all..) thank you in advance :D

OF COURSE IVE ACTUALLY THOUGHT ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE

Tims room

•shit is SO bare i swear to u it is, just a bed, dresser, a window, a chair, maybe a hamper or trash can, some books, n thats rlly it

•theres not a poster or anything of the sort in sight, im so serious he doesnt decorate it he doesnt care

•a lil messy but rlly not allat bad you’ll live

•bit of a popcorn ceiling but he dont rlly care

•prolly got everyones birth certificate and social security number under his mattress

•only light source is his window, hes a fucking caveman

cant say much bout his room

Curlys room

•ABSOLUTE mess, a tornado came through that bitch i swear, NOTHING is in its supposed place and thats bc he says he already knows where everything is

•his vanity is wide open, theres clothes pokin out, pile of clothes on the floor

•beds like never made and even if it is, hastily made, his bed frame is wooden also pretty fucked up w scratches

•i could see him w some posters on his wall, maybe he stole em, but i could also see him not having em so pick ur poison, has magazines lade out on the floor near some trash he swore he would pick up later but never did

•im not gonna sit here n act like he dont got holes in his wall bc he punched em

•somehow theres a few crack in his ceiling NEVER knows how it popped up

•has a memory box under his bed

•perchance he will b like me and his room was supposed to be a big ass spice closet but they changed it up for it to b his own room, and HES he has a window but his room is a bit cramped for a bedroom but it works for him so he dont care

•uses a lamp as light source

Angela’s room

•THEE most put together i mean that nothing is outta place, unless shes mad, then shes throwing stuff

•bc of that exact reason theres lil dents and holes in her room whoops

•has stuffed animals from when she was a kid she cant seem to get rid of

•her room is the biggest bc tim knows being the only shepard girl has to b hell, so thats her own safe space

•her vanity has a good amount of stolen makeup and perfumes

•has some plants she takes care of to get her mind off stuff

•she hangs some things on her wall maybe love letters from others she has to boost her confidence, maybe its some pics, maybe posters, she has SOMETHING on her wall she hates how empty her walls look

•she has a lava lamp!! she has a ceiling light but almost never uses it, shes like tim and likes the dark, they all do tbh, but curly and angela like a lil light

not much to comment on their house, its furnished enough to look like a house but not rlly a home, theres maybe a cross on the wall but like i said not much goin on, furnitures a lil fucked tho, they have family pics but tim doesnt like those just being out so he has em somewhere stashed away

THATS ALL I REMEMBER but i swear i had more😭