#get the FUCK OUT OF MY HIVE
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this is all I can think of when I read this dialogue
#get the FUCK OUT OF MY HIVE#it’s such a small detail but I love these two’s interactions in the hive#it essentially boils down to ‘man this place is nice’ ‘you shouldn’t have been allowed in here’#like geez vi calm down 😭#especially cause like��he probably didn’t have a hive or he had to live in the wasp kingdom which is. well. the wasp kingdom#so damn just let him enjoy himself for a second lmao#bug fables#not going in my art tag bc this is not good enough for that 💔💔
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[sits up suddenly from my coffin] anybody fuck with my super danganronpa 2 x guy who didnt like musicals au
#i dont post my art for several months and then i return. back into danganronpa once again. and actively combining it with my other interests#for fun and whimsy.#sdr2#nagito komaeda#super danganronpa 2#danganronpa 2#hajime hinata#chiaki nanami#robin draws#anyways other than returning to danganronpa ive just been drawing ocs so i havent had much to share#yes thats ibuki vaguely in the bg she gets to be chiakis boss#sonia gets to be zoey so that she gets to control a helicopter and point a gun at hajime and chiaki#obv things have to be shifted around and changed for them to make sense in their roles but i think hajime as paul is the most#untouched one bc thats just early game hajime where he's freaking out about the fuckass island and how weird everything is#fuyuhiko gets to effectively be the role of bill with peko as alice but obv theyre not a father/daughter dynamic for this au#its altered. to fit Them. and their whole deal they got going on.#maybe fuyuhiko had tried to tell peko to leave and go live her own life but she came back for him and then. Oopsies. join the hive#gundham as professor hidgens would be so fucking funny. you must understand. instead of an alexa he's talking to his devas.#nagito tbh would work as professor hidgens but i made him fill mr. davidsons role for the sole fact of his song being the effective#“i want” song and that just felt too right to pass up#kazuichi fills the role of ted and he's mad that hajime didnt bring sonia#mikan filling charlottes role. junko is sam. i dont think i have to explain further. obv junko isnt a cop thats altered to fit her.#also no ted charlotte affair for this kaz has his eyes set on sonia and only sonia still and mikan has her beloved :)#also i just wanted mikan to have “join us (and die)” bc ogoghgoghgho thats one of my fav songs#greenpeace girl gets to be mahiru cause the personality just feels right.#imposter is Everywhere. i wanted to stick them in a designated role so bad but tbh they're just always there in a diff disguise#anyway im done tag rambling i've been brewing this in my brain for like a week.#feel free to let me know if i was cooking or not and offer ur own ideas and thoughts
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I asked for a trim and my hair dresser gave me a FUCKING PIXIE CUT I'm so genuinley distraught I ended up crying on the train home
Canceling all of my plans next month I can't let anyone I care about see me like this
#IMMEDIATLEY scheduling an appointment to get lashes I cant physically handle looking this boyish its giving me hives#im currently desperatley trying to see if my hair still curls but I dont. think its long enough for it.#it just does this stupid fucking flippy thing that makes it stick out more#I look like a lesbian but not the kind of lesbian I WANT to look like#all of my favorite outfits are ruined they would not look the same with this cut#the vibes would be undeniably different#i cant be a cottagecore princess anymore the best I can now do is cottagecore maid my power has been stripped from me#this is devistating I will never be happy again#for a few months at least#fuck this better grow back fast I actually dont know what Ill do if every time I look in a mirror I look like That#birds rambles
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hojo pisses me tf off. Like yeah yeah human rights violations unethical science blah blah blah HAVE WE CONSIDERED THE DAMAGE HE’S BEEN DOING TO THE FF7 SCIENTIFIC COMMUNITY????
Listen he’d be a morally grey character if his work led to reproducible results that could benefit the rest of humanity but GOOD GAIA does he not even do that.
his sample sizes are SHIT. his experimental design is SHIT. his documentation is SHIT. his biases are VISIBLE. I’m astral projecting into the ff7 universe just to strangle this man and take away whatever diploma he got bc clearly he hired someone to do his PhD for him.
AND HE INSPIRED SO MANY TO FOLLOW IN HIS SHITTY SHITTY FOOTSTEPS. like the only two things we could even marginally call reproducible is his work in making the SOLDIER program and Fuhitos attempt to replicate it with his RAVENs. and even then there were no improvements on the procedure or attempts to create a procedure that left the patients in better health.
which is a CRIMINALLY STUPID THING TO DO TO YOUR GIANT SUPER SOLDIER ARMY. WYM THAT INSANITY IS JUST A POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECT?????
an argument could be made that we just don’t SEE hojos documentation and shit bc we’re playing through the eyes of people who don’t know all that shit.
HOWEVER. if hojo was actually doing any of that he’d have spotted the degradation problem in his animal models first.
BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK JUMPS YO HUMAN SUBJECTS??? ITS NOT JUST UNETHICAL ITS EXTREMWLY EXPENSIVE TO MAINTAIN THE WELLBEING OF AND ACQUIRE A WHOLE HUMAN PERSON.
if he’d started with, like, mouse models to demonstrate how mako treatments affect mammals, he’d have gotten so much more work done and achieved more reliable results. WITH A FRACTION OF THE COST.
BUT NOOOOOOOOOO. APPARENTLY SHINRA SHITS MONEY SO WHO CARES ABOUT SAMPLE SIZES AND STATISTICAL TESTS AND REPRODUCIBLE RESULTS!!
HOJO IS A HACK AND A FRAUD AND A SHIT SCIENTIST TO BOOT. WATCH YOUR BACK BITCH YOUVE HOED YOUR LAST JO.
#ff7#ffvii#txt#i’ve got a heavy medical and engineering background#so hojo makes me so fucking mad.#yes he’s fictional. i’m still going to be a hater. i’d jump him at the academic conference. on SIGHT.#i have an entire essay outlined in my head about why i don’t respect hojo as a scientist but im sick and hopped up on cold medicine so#yeah#don’t get me started on his shit ass lab set up it makes me break out into HIVES#and the fact he can clearly edit DNA (with what he did to sephiroth in the womb) and STILL FAILED TO SEQUENCE JENOVAS GENOME. FUCK OFF.#he’s a very good character and i appreciate his role in the story as someone who seeks progress and improvement above all else including#self preservation and the good sense god gave a goose#but will i get fixated on how he’s not an INACCURATELY portrayed scientist— he a BAD SCIENTIST portrayed as accurately as possible.#yes. yes i will.
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Super angry at arc 3 of arcane btw. They rushed to close everything up and it shows
#the characters are so empty#like legit the only one with normal character development is jinx. like. the only one o get where she comes from is JINX.#Also Ekko. loved what they did for him there. everyone gets desolation and he gets a slice of life romance with the (doomed) childhood crush#no one is doing it like him#but also. they don’t even MENTION isha. like. I get it. she died. it’s devastating. but?#what the fuck you go onto the next thing?? WHAT THE FUCK#and I won’t even touch Viktor ‘’’I’m gonna build a place to heal people’ to ‘everyone is a hive mind machine now’ like WHAT#ngl I thought the fandom would be like Jayce I stand by my cancelled wife and all#BUT THE CANON WENT AND JUST….DEPRIVED VIKTOR OF CARE AND HUMANITY? HE IS JUST A WEAPON AND A CALAMITY NOW I GUESS??#Like yeah….he was doomed from the start with the sickness and the canon and all but? there’s doomed by the narrative and there’s like…#WE WILL PUT HOLES THROUGH YOU AND LACK OF CARE AMD COMPASSION AND UNDERSTANDING UNTIL YOU FUCKING GET YOUR DOOM#GET WITHTHE NARRATIVE VIKTOR YOUARE EVIL#‘no I am just healing people from shimmer which is very bad and harmful and painful’‘#NO VIKTOR YOU ARE EVIL SEE? THAT WHY I KILLED YOU BC YOUARE EVIL#existence became so painful to him he went and said no there’s not fixing this. I am throwing my emotions in the waste bin and go machine’#WHY DOESNT HE GETS TO BE ANGRY AND BETRAYED? LIKE AT LEATS SILCO GOT TO BE RIGTEOUS#WHY IS THIS SHIT AGAIN THEY TRY TO KILL YOU BC YOU ARE EVIL AND THEY TURN YOU INTO EVIL BC WHATS LEFT BUT THEN THEY WERE RIGHT TO DO IT??#LIKE. no. I’m sorry but no. fuck that I’m out.#FUCK THIS SHIT I AM WO ANGRY#VIKTOR?? VIKTOR IS THE BIG BAD? THE THING THAT UNIFIES ZAUN AND PILTOBER? FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.
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So, all I have to do is keep an eye on an uncannily determined, three-and-a-half-foot-tall gambling addict while also keeping my head on straight in a place designed to dazzle all five senses despite being used to having only two, without forgetting that I have to look for three… situation-prone loose cannons currently on a quest to turn three swords into a small fortune. Anarac would’ve laughed if his vision wasn’t already going hazy at the edges. By the Sun, it’s like raising teenagers all over again….
Mr. Fifth-Blood, you'll always be famous to me...
#he's holding this mission together by his fucking fingertips#he needs one of those child leash backpacks for all of them#In Faalgun's defense he's usually fine but if you bring a gambling addict to the first casino he's been in since dying he's gonna get antsy#Kaulakri might seem less insane than the rest but she just has graphs and apa sources to go along with her dumbass schemes#I have no defense for Pash and Nyda#they're shit stirrers by nature and they make each other worse#and so somehow the guy who spent 7000 years in an evil hive mind and passes out at least once a day is now the pillar of responsibility#unironically he's probably their best shot#writing#writerscommunity#writblr#my ocs
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I cannot describe how much I hate the "nobody hates women more than other women" group and response. God yall are so fucking annoying and my opinion of your intelligence immediately plummets
Because truly are you dumb? Or do you just not exist in the real world????
Like I truly fucking hate it because it is a narrative concocted to literally demean any women's movement because;" look there are women that disagree so the movement is obviously misguided and unserious"🙄
Like I'm not dismissing that internalized misogyny exists amd there are definitely women that want and love to uphold the patriarchy and are very vocal in their disbelief in women's right, Since women began fighting for their right there have always been women, and there probably always will be women, working in opposition of women's movements. but like point to any group in fucking history and see people that actively worked against their own best interest.
But also sometimes women disagree with each other and they might not even like each other. And it's not internalized misogyny and it's not being a "pick me" and it's not trying to tear other women down. It is simply two people who just happen to be women, not liking each other.
Men are actually violent with each other at truly astounding rates, most violent crimes are men against other men, Men actively work against the best interest of other men all the fucking time. Men can kill each other over beefs and nobody would even think to say "wow nobody hates men more than other men" or " men hating men what else is new" or "Men just hate other men it's in their nature". Nobody would dare suggest that all men must be a hive mind and their views on something must all be aligned before it can be taken seriously.
And that's because men can be people but women will always be women.
#women arent given the same personhood as men what else is new#like yall need to stop projecting because if you hate women that sounds like a you problem I love women#just I'm tired of hearing “women don't even like each other” everytime two women have beef. this is why I hate the “girl's girl” shit#if I came on here and said nobody hates black people more than black people my comments would be fucking swarmed#most violence committed against women is at the hands of men it has been men that have systematically schemed the oppression of women.#but sure nobody hates women more than other women#and the worst part is this phrase is actually said by other women and leftists#like the irony of you failing to realize the misogyny that you are perpetuating in the calling out of misogny will never not be hilarious#one day yall will realize that women are not a hive mind and you just have bad friends or you are a bad friend#and the problem isn't that women hate each other#feminism#misogyny#rant post#god i needed to get this off my chest#internalized misogyny#sexism#fuck the patriarchy#doom scrolling as a form of self harm#tired of yall for real#i love women so much#throwing thoughts to the void#women
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they shoudl invent showering that doesnt make me itch super fucking bad
#i cant tell if im just allergic to most shwoer gels or if im just fucking weird#either way whenever i shower i get red splotches on my body and i itch#and today i even fucking broke out in hives jesus christ#they seem to be going away though so thats nice
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so funny how i started developing random allergies to foods i used to enjoy n literally like the sun . and heat . in 2020/21 and i was blaming it on covid the whole time but i just now have come to the realisation it was probably the 3rd year architecture degree that acc drove my body to breakdown self annihilation mode . and until recently was planning on doing my masters too despite the trauma of it all wow im literally a fucking idiot donkey
#like girl it was uni the whole time .#anyway i think i have mcas 🎀 yayyyy my list of foods i cant eat is getting smaller n smaller btw#i literally also developed an allergy to my fucking laundry detergent and it was giving me asthma phlegmy cough every day for months#i love being chronically fatigued n breaking out in hives constantly its not pathetic at all
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God I'm so fucking annoyed how come she gets to treat me however she likes and then gets to say she didn't mean it?????
#have u considered not constantly comparing me to ur abusive husband who hit u??????#since i was like 8 its really fucking weird#like who in their right mind tells their child theyre naturally destructive just like their father and then says ohhhhh but i didnt mean it#are u fucking insane#doesnt help that i look like him too everyone tells me that#and now she acts like me raising my voice once means she needs to walk on eggshells around me wtf#what about how u treated me from ages 13-16#freak#i cant believe this shes treating me like im some scary stranger as if shes not the one with full financial control and that im this horribl#person go kill yourself omgjdjsjsjwjwwhwhhw#fuck u#last year was the worst year of my life and that was wholy bc of u you showed me what place i really have in this family and that it was not#hing. how is sveryrone so ready to throw me away??#yet everyone else gets to say shes sooo proetctive and loving fuck off you wouldnt even tell them youre treating me badly diedie diediediedi#i want to cut so bad bro#but i promised myself i wont so#i mean i dont even have any way of gettibg blades so whatver#just remembered her reaction to me cutting#nothing. yeah absolutely no reaction. i thought the worat thing that could happen was her gettjbg mad at me again but no#i realised there was somwthing worse. she just straight up doesnt care#useless mother#im fine w u treating me like shit ive accepeted it that i have no place in anyone's life unlesss i hive into this but at least#at least stop trying to confront me like this#just let me rot in peace#i really dont want to do this anymore#any time now she'll ask me if i was pretending to cry so i wpuldnt have to go out w her now#as if that isnt insulting#and then she'll say i wasnt trying to be rude!!! as if she hasnt always treated me like none of my feelings r real. i only ever overeact. ok
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I haven’t been insane about Vi enough lately so time to pour out some random thoughts. free association thinking time:
been thinking about her “It's my savings. I wanna be rich, okay? So I can travel, eat well, buy cool stuff… So no one can say I can't do something!” And none of the following will really be insightful or revelatory because it’s just what she says here but. yeah! that’s vi! the main reason she’s so big on money is because she has to be to get what she wants out of life! it’s what lets her say no to people telling her what to do, and that’s important to her because she has no choice but to be independent and support herself. because no one else will. No one at the Hive had anything positive or supportive to say about her being an explorer until she went out and did it (to a ridiculously successful degree, too. I have to wonder if/how it might’ve differed if she was on a regular accomplishment level team. not the one leading them all to the mission to the Hive). she never had a choice not to be. I could also see that being a little part of why she starts out not really being a teamwork person. past experiences have taught her she can’t rely on anyone else for support. (does make me wonder about what if she’d met Chubee before leaving the Hive. obviously she still would’ve left, but how might even a bit of support have changed other things?)
I feel like we don’t talk about the fact that The Beemerang Is Also Knives enough
ok so at one point there was this post talking about people with money and how it affects their life like. if you can afford to get a nanny then you can only do the fun parts of childcare and when you stop feeling like taking care of the kid you can just hand them to someone else to take them away. and again likely not especially revelatory but I would guess that’s the kind of way queen bianca handled the bees as her daughters (she does care about them. absolutely. but not in the same hands-on attached way as we usually associate with parents) and thinking about how that kind of treatment would then apply to vi....hm
in universes where discussions of Gender and Pronouns etc happen I think she has moments where she gets frustrated with the everything of Being Referred To and Having Complicated Identity She Hasn’t Quite Figured Yet and is like. gender is cancelled how dare you refer to me. but especially anyone else calls me a girl ever i will be stabbing them
also I think a lot about what circumstances she finds out about gayness/Gender being things. and whether she’s thought about it in herself before and whether she’d been dismissed on it/told it wasn’t a thing etc. most circumstances she ends up angry about the finding out times because of (un)consicious internal conflict stuff
underground tavern stuff implies she was definitely doing quests and stuff for money with them precanon. would kill to know what specifically it was. but also the first talk with utter implies that she was doing stuff off that questboard as well which is even more intriguing. utter’s spy also implies you don’t have to be an explorer to do them but otherwise you would think you did I feel. so again very curious what was up there
#inspired by that girl blorbos post and also me trying to think about where in the game they drop facts and such about precanon stuff w her#the urge to try and fic about the stuff between her leaving the hive and showing up at the association....strong again#'the hive didn't do anything' my ass. vi might have also been a jerk but it's just that she was the more obvious#easily labeled incident version of it. she was active while her treatment was the subtle passive neglect type of bad treatment#complex situation and also. yeah#an aquila original#vi bug fables#bug fables#also featuring funky gender lesbian stuff because thats not even headcanon. to me#hopefully the reasoning out stuff doesn't just come out like a load of nonsense#vi's one of those characters where I definitely feel comfortable in writing her on a basic level but some parts I'm super insecure about#and the part with her is in really capturing the complexities of her backstory and family issues#and the thing is it's like. I have to remind myself that some parts of how canon did her on that are actually decent#and I should pay attention to those complexities. but then also canon definitely did some of their 'this hasn't really been earned'#resolution stuff on her. mostly thinking about the postcanon dialogue with Bianca. it's jsut too much of a jump for that for me#and it's not even that I necessarily think bianca's dialogue is out of character. it's that I'm contemplating whether it would've#made more sense for vi to get angry about it. like.#ok so. sometimes i think about what coming out to my family might be like. and I've come to the conclusion that if they were just accepting#despite the fact that it would be best case scenario I'd be angry about it. because they've said some shitty stuff in the past. in general#they've made me feel unsafe about myself. so no actually you don't get to just suddenly be chill about it now fuck you.#it doesn't change the past hurts#and I could see Vi being like that too. even if part of her is happy about getting what she wanted to start with she's pissed about#only getting it now. with a side helping of also wondering if the approval /now/ is only because she's been so successful about it#what if she hadn't been so specially favored by elizant? what if she hadn't been on the team that saved the world? why did she (maybe) have#to earn the approval she should've had from the start?#also not gonna get into this one right now but tweaking her story with jaune to acknowledge that theyre both at fault in different ways#(again). would be nice#but now I'm definitely veering into repeating myself type rambling territory so
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hey gamers is it normal to break out in hives when i get super stressed or overheated (not every time i get overheated, haven’t found a pattern there yet)
#like it probably isn’t but i don’t know how to deal with it#my mom gets them too so there’s most likely a genetic component#but hers are only on her neck shoulders back and arms and only when she gets overheated (like a shower or smth)#whereas if i get a meltdown or close to one i can get itchy full body all the way down to my knees#current working theory is that i am constantly passively generating stress and have no way to dissipate it#so whenever it spikes all i can do is break out in fucking hives
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thinking about how dean was probably insufferable after that time sam got roofied + married to becky like his freak possessive mother henning probably reached an all time high during that time (and also bc sam let him indulge in it—bc that’s least u can do after telling ur brother yeah u took care of me and that’s great but i don’t need u anymore which is said brother’s literal greatest insecurity in life, albeit under influence)
#sam : dude im getting fucking cabin fever dean: HEY . the last time i let u out of my sight for like a week u got kidnapped and MARRIED .#and how do even argue w that#and he’d make the stupidest jokes about it like the will u be my valentine one#spn#samdean#sam winchester#and it would exasperate sam but he’s also thankful for the relative normalcy with which this event is being treated so that#he doesn’t have to investigate all his complicated feelings about it (which is terrible but a definite sw coping mechanism)#also it would be just like sam to feel guilty about saying ^^ (re: dean) even when it was said kindly and ALSO under influence#i can’t#thinking about them makes me break out into hives#dean winchester
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#im pretty sure im having a mild allergic reaction to my tatto0 :-[#its so itchy. like im sure itchiness is normal on some level but i dont think after a week it should b raised and so itchy its hard to slee#it only started to get bad yesterday and i mean im not covered in hives and its not fucked up and red but its not fun#im guessing its a metal allergy? but i got a black tatto0 years ago and thats fine. i guess its whatevers in the blue#so now my whole upper right arm and shoulder r so so itchy. its also possible this is bc i put expired aquaphor on it#but the itching started 1st and all i had was the aquaphor so idk maybe i made it worse or maybe it did nothing#and now ive gotta go to the psychiatrist tomorrow and shes gonna b like: have u broken out in a rash or anything? and ill b like well no#but im extremely itchy for probably unrelated reasons#or maybe this is caused by the lamicta1 and the tattoo didnt cause it. god dammit if she makes me stop taking it ill b sad. i want it to#work :-( ugh#or it could b infected? but each ring is separate so it would b weird if all of them go infected simultaneously#i want it to go away so i dont have to worry abt it tomorrow 😩#unrelated#lab mate: when r u gonna leave today? me considering how long i cab stand it before i have to go home and take my shirt off: uhh idk
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Hold on I'm so smart I can make gt aus with my dnd characters
#i drew one of my characters as a fairy and its all down hill from there.#consider: shed be a dumbass. her rriend would also be a dymbass. and like yeah theyre fairues#but they got seperated from the fairy hive/colony as little fairy babies so now they steal from humans#and think theyre fucked up borrowers. and this human is laying so many traps but they just keep getting food out of them#another character would be a borrower getting cursed to obey humans and then getting found by one#and shed be used as bait and such to catch other borrowersand her human would torture her because she hates borrowers#for... some reason.#but oh its so fun... not gonna share super with the dm obviously#but the amount i spend thinking of dnd and gt seperate could be a total time saver ha#g/t#borrowers#tiny whumpee#dnd g/t
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thinking about when i had a boyfriend but before he was my boyfriend and we were just talking i tried to tell him about how this one girl led me on really badly (i still have a buncha posts on here from fall 2021 about liking her, lol) as friends confiding in friends . but then after i told the story he tried to convince me that she didnt actually lead me on and i was just delusional
#like. what.#she literally led me on. like. she fuckin kissed me and shit#and i was so into her. and she knew it and she used it until she got what she wanted from someone else and then she dropped me into oblivio#she also used me again near the end of summer 2022 when i was getting over aforementioned ex bf but. i dont talk about that one with Anyon#anyways back to the ex. he literally just made me feel so. unwanted. all the damn time#and then expected me to basically just be his mother. cuz he had fuckin mommy issues that he wouldnt acknowledge#when . that wasnt what i fucking wanted at all. i just wanted to Be wanted and that was the one thing from a literal boyfriend he never gav#he never even complimented me or any of that shit. and he was So bad at kissing and touching me lmfao#he was. such an unbelievably Bad partner . like i still get hives thinking about it lmao#and i still dated him. for. a whole summer#and a couple months before that summer#and then i drunk called him several times in the months after that breakup#i was just convinced that no one else would ever even be interested in me. lol. so i just held on to him for a hot minute#but. then i pulled the hottest guy in my town (not exaggerating. he literally Is. like its a known fact. everyone agrees on it)#and he's a much better kisser.#and he's so much more fun to hang out with . like every moment with him feels like an a24 film or a lana del rey song#and now me and my friends always just talk about the ex as a meme bc. hes such a fucking loser#so. fuck him#(fuck him as in fuck my ex and fuck him as in literally fuck the hot guy)#hi ellie if youre seeing this.#r
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