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i-drop-level-one-loot · 1 year ago

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Smile❤️ (Yandere X Loser!Reader)

Micky thought that he couldn't feel love.

Ever since he could remember, Micky couldn't connect with anyone on an emotional level. Even his own family members were like aliens to him, creatures that stretched their lips into strange contortions, ETs that became unreasonable when he wouldn't do the same. As a teenager many girls flirted with him in school, hell, a few guys did as well, but none of their confessions ever stirred any emotion from him, even at the height of his puberty. The smiles of the people around him never felt warm or welcoming. Just, tight. Cheeks pulled back, revealing teeth, expecting him to mirror their action, and Micky couldn't understand why.

Nothing made him smile.

College was further isolating. Group projects seemed to no longer be a thing, (at least in the classes he took) so his interactions with humans slowly became less frequent, making his classmates look more inhuman and monstrous.

Until someone in his college was doxxed for being a creep. It was interesting, watching how quickly people turned on their friend, forcing him into an outcast because someone online revealed his private post history.

An annoying young woman in his language arts class gathered people around Micky's seat to talk about what had happened. Micky wouldn't have searched up the drama on his own time, but he didn't see the point in pushing everyone away.

"This user on Xforums, anonymousXnightmare is the one who doxxed Nathan."

AnonymousXnightmare? How fucking lame.

"That's a lame username..."

"Maybe it's a kid..?"

Micky did his best to ignore them, but the username kept popping up in conversation throughout campus. It was getting a little annoying. Some people were mocking the name, while others were praising the "internet hero". It started interfering with his ability to focus in his classes.

But the gossip cooled down after a week, and life began to run as normal, until another student had their life ruined. A football player, they didn't post anything incriminating or disturbing. It was anonymousXnightmare who posted their own collected evidence. Pictures taken from afar of the player with his highschool sweetheart, as in sweetheart who was still in highschool. Recordings of the two of them. Months of stalking all compiled by the stranger.

Again, Micky was bombarded by chatter, excitable young adults losing their minds over the situation. It was... irritating.

Back in his dorm room, Micky was scrolling through Xforums, the most popular forum used by students in his university, made by students for students, searching for the loser with the lame username. Scrolling past the photos he had heard about, he found a post stating

"Dear Allen Brackens, if you cannot stop blasting your shitty music in the halls on your shitty speakers, I WILL ruin your life!"

and Micky had to lean back, to just take in what he had read. That must have been the name of the football player. What he was doing was genuinely gross, and should have been exposed by someone. But did this poster really stalk them for what looked like months just because he listened to music they didn't like?

It was so dumb.

He scrolled down farther into the mystery poster's history, to the first man they doxxed.

"Dear Nathan McAllister, we all know you're a two faced little bitch. Either stop littering the campus with your Jesus pamphlets, or else..."

Micky, for the first time in his life, was amused. The whole situation was so stupid. They really ruined their fellow students lives, just because they annoyed them?

He made an account just to follow his mystery poster, not sure yet why he was interested to see what they would post next.

Less than two days later, and Micky's phone notified him of another post.

"Dear Samantha Rudbeckia, your obnoxious laughter is driving me insane. Can't you see how annoying you are? Knock it off."

That was it?! That was enough to set you off? Laughter? Micky paused mid step, still staring down at his phone. Something felt off about his face. It hurt.

It was pretty easy to find anonymousXnightmare in his school. Micky picked up a map of the university, and mapped out the paths of the three people targeted. They ran into a lot of different students throughout their day. But they only ran into a couple of people who openly seemed to hate them, and only one of those people was a student named (Reader). (Reader), who constantly appeared as though they would collapse at any moment, the hollows under their eyes so dark they looked sickly. (Reader), who despite being borderline anemic, was very sneaky, and very good and being unnoticeable despite their extreme appearance. Unfortunately for them, they had someone watching them as closely as they watched their victims bullies. Micky watched as they stealthily snapped photos of students from around corners, how they seemed to blend into the background and nobody noticed them hiding in waiting.

Micky felt ashamed for ever thinking you were lame. You were.. cute.

The way you crouched like a bug, hunched over like a roly poly scared of being picked up. The way you bit your dry lips in anger to the point they bled.

Micky's face hurt more and more. Every time he saw (Reader) a pain he had never felt before would strain at his cheeks, and his face would feel hot all over. It wasn't until he caught a glimpse of himself in his reflection in a window that Micky realized he was smiling. He never knew that smiling hurt. But he couldn't stop it.

Pictures and videos of Samantha and her married professor were posted online, and Micky was excited to know what (Reader's) face would look like when they reaped the fruits of their labor. But when he snuck into their classroom, zooming in on their exhausted face with his phone's camera, he felt a new emotion seeing that (Reader) was just as annoyed as they always were. A hard pit fell from his ribs into his lower stomach. He was disappointed.

Why aren't you happy? You won. You should be rejoicing right now.

He felt conflicted and confused. Like an octopus was throwing a tantrum in his abdomen, squirming uncomfortably. And it ruined his day. Micky couldn't focus on any of his classes, and the rest of his day was like a foggy dream. What was it about (Reader) that attracted him to them so much?

A cute young woman with smooth black hair approached Micky, a dark blush complimenting her picture perfect face.

"Um, excuse me? Excuse me? Excuse me?"

Micky snapped out of his thoughts, turning his gaze down towards the beautiful person. Her rosey lips were slightly upturned in a posed way.

She's smiling.

Micky internally verbalized it. The same way he did whenever he saw anyone smiling. It never looked good. Smiling was so awkward, and strange. People loved seeing others smiling, and smiled when they were happy, but it always reminded Micky of how not one of them he was.

"Hi! My name is Maggie."

I don't care.

"We have econ together?"

"Okay."

Why was seeing her smile make her look fake, inhuman, alien? Just like everyone else. Then why was Micky so let down seeing (Reader's) lukewarm reaction to their victory?

"I was wondering, I mean, (laughs), a group of us are going out for drinks later, and we, I was wondering if you wanted to come with us.."

She giggled nervously, fiddling her fingers and biting her lip. The image of (Reader) practically eating their lower lip was triggered like a trap. This woman, whose name wasn't worth remembering, made Micky feel nothing. The uncanny feeling of speaking with a living mannequin or an advanced AI. Her movements weren't natural, her smile was just a contraction of muscles. Then, like an epiphany, Micky realized all at once what made (Reader) so special.

Maybe, it wasn't that everyone else was alien, but Micky. Micky was the only one who never fit in. The only one who didn't feel emotions or connect with others like everyone else could. And there was a bug walking around in human clothes, barely staying awake in class and casually ruining peoples' lives simply because they annoyed them. (Reader) wasn't a human either, just like Micky. That's why they didn't seem happy with their victory. Why would a human bring them joy?

Micky's lips pulled tight, smiling brightly at the young woman before walking away without saying a word.

You're the first person to make me feel, because you're just like me. Right, (Reader)? If no one but you can make me feel, then no one but me should be able to make you smile!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::

(Reader) slouched over their laptop, their messy hair pulled back in a top bun just to keep their untrimmed bangs out of their eyes in the privacy of their dorm, eating another cup of noodle while reading all of their "fan mail". Samantha wasn't getting kicked out like they had hoped, but Professor what's-his-nuts did get canned, so hopefully when Samantha comes back to class she'll be too busy sobbing "woe is me" to find anything funny.

Ba-ding♪

A private message popped up from an account with an automated username.

(Reader) snorted so hard a noodle went up into their sinuses.

user01793664544001: I know who you are <3

"Ah-ow! God damn!"

anonymousXnightmare: Who the fuck is this?

user01793664544001: ur prince charming <3

anonymousXnightmare: Don't fuck with me

user01793664544001: come find me

"Watch me, bitch."

Looking up IP addresses is a lot easier than people make it seem. It doesn't take a genius hacker to doxx someone. Of course, (Reader) goes above and beyond, often following assholes for months to collect evidence of their douche baggery. (Reader) got an address in less time than it took to finish their noodles, and took down their hair, quickly setting out to start getting information on their newest "bully".

The address took them to another dorm across campus. How dumb are they? (Reader) faux chuckled, feeling superior to this newest dick. No one was quite as smart as them.

As they crept through the building, no one payed them any attention as they began taking notes on the residents. It had to be one of these losers.

They didn't have a chance to fight back, as they passed one of the rooms the door opened and pulled them inside faster than they had a chance to scream. The man who abducted (Reader) wrestled them to the floor, panting heavily.

(Reader) glared up at the handsome stranger, smiling down at them in a creepy way, his cheeks twitching like he had never smiled before, like his face hurt from the small action. His face was pink and he was sweating, panting with a feverish moisture glazing his eyes.

"Aren't you happy? You found me~"

"G-Get off of me, you pervert!" (Reader) attempted to kick the kidnapper off of them.

This wasn't the answer he was looking for. His smile fell briefly before bouncing back.

"You're just upset because you don't know me yet. Don't worry, it took me a while to realize you and I were the same species as well, so don't worry. I'll wait, I'll wait for you to realize you love me too..."

He rambled quickly, pressing harder against (Reader's) body. A strange noise squeaked out of his throat as he seemed startled, (Reader) feeling a bulge form against their upper thigh.

"Ah, I'll wait.. I'll wait for you to love me too.. but I need you to do something for me while I wait.."

Micky stuck his fingers in (Reader's) mouth, pulling their dry lips out till they bled across his skin.

"Smile for me..."

#yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere x darling #yandere #pathetic loser #loser reader #tw stalking #bully reader #yandere fanfiction #gender neutral reader #romance #not proofread

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thankstothe · 11 months ago

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Some notes on Wilson's marriages/divorces, and how he met House:

• House didn't just meet a freshly divorced Wilson. He met barely married Wilson, who just got notified about his #1 divorce by a lawyer, not his wife

• Wilson walked around with papers on hand, long enough to give House a chance to sneak a peek. The same day he received the news. (there's a chance it was some sort of middle step in the divorce procedure, but "just served", checkmate your honor)

• House 100% knew that when he bailed him out. No, I don't have any concrete evidence besides "it's fucking House"

• House had Wilson observed the entire time to know he didn't open the papers. The divorce lawyer prob gave him an idea of what it is, and he was just marinating in the suffering juice

• House had to be nosy and stealthy when he checked the package Wilson clung to, he saw what's written on it

• They didn't actually talk at the conference itself, so House did it silently too

• There was a law firm address on the papers, and you couldn't just google shit then. House's had to remember it to investigate it further, or he already knew of the firm (or it said "BLAH LAW FIRM BLAH HERE'S YOUR DIVORCE PAPERS, LOSER", which is possible)

• Wilson likely opened them in a hotel room (or he looked at the package sadly/angrily there too), needed a drink, and House was at the bar

• House was watching Wilson at that conference, then at the bar, then meltdown over the song, then the whole fight and the mess, then the detention, and was like yeah I'll bail that

• "First words you ever said to me." This is when they first talked, Wilson was in jail and the one in need

• Ok alright, hear me out, if House didn't know what the papers were at the time of bailing. There are 2 paths for him to find out

• Wilson STILL had them on hand in jail

• Or Housey saw them at Wilson's hotel room. Yeah

• It's been over the decade since they've met and they both vividly remember the details of that drunk night (I get why for storytelling purposes. Still... Much to think about)

• That conference is either the last one, or one of the lasts, House attended. And that one was already boring to House without Wilson. 15 years prior to s06e06 "Known Unknowns", can't do the timeline magic I just eyeball it

• House also introduced Wilson to Cuddy pretty soon, since she was a witness to the levels of despair he was apparently in

• House might've pestered Cuddy to hire him, or she chose to do so herself (whenever she was dean). Maybe House chased away some poor oncologist to make an opening. Even if House isn't as obsessed with Wilson at the start of season 1, he's always plotting

• There's the brother thing too. Wilson still fresh out of med school, still divorcing, still guilty af and looking for the brother in Princeton, so he was happy to work there

• Prior to that, Wilson was working 2 jobs to support himself and Sam and was ready to follow her to Baltimore

• The divorce and meeting House happened in 1991, the same year USSR completely fell apart. Just thought I'll throw that in #educational

• Wilson was married, non-fraudulently, for 12 years total

• Marriage #1 has only lasted 1 year

• That means every marriage House was present for has lasted longer #math

• Wilson found a way to get fulfilled while in the marriage

• Now he's got a needy bitch with infinite problems and who will slurp any poison he has to siphon

• I'd argue House is what made Wilson bearable at home

• At the same time, House is what kept Wilson away from home, ultimately contributing to the divorce

• Wilson himself describes his marriages as crappy - he doesn't really need help destroying them. House still helps~✨

• Timeline gets wonky, but there couldn't have been much of a downtime between marriages, a couple of years max

• "Fell in love at the wedding" - whatever the fuck that means for Wilson

• Either Wilson met Sam through that wedding, and she also aimed to work in medicine - how they've connected. Or they went there as a couple, both being med students? Got high on emotions and jumped into marriage

• Wilson speedruns relationships once he's in them, so it could've gone "hey that was a nice wedding, how about we have our own?"

• He fucking sucks at proposals, his looks and general air of niceness carried him all 3 times, I will not be hearing any objections on the matter

• When Wilson talks to Cameron about cheating. He says, "I have (cheated). I always told them"

• "Them"

• It's could've been every marriage (#1, #2 and #3). If boy managed to sneak in cheating in his 1-year lightning marriage #1, while he was studying + 2 jobs (now I don't doubt his time management skills, but it's still a hassle. On the other hand, all that stress couldn't have been helping)

• Or it could be #1 and #2, or #1 and #3. But #3 is pretty much a certainty (he flirts with nurses on screen, House is also there), and it's "them", so why would he randomly stop in the middle? Don't think so

• What's most likely is - #2 and #3. When arguing with Sam (#1) again she didn't mention or allude to the cheating, her problem was that Wilson didn't communicate ANY emotions to her, she even admitted to House she made the most mistakes in that marriage, let's say there's some truth in that

• Wilson either didn't tell Sam about cheating, she didn't have a problem with it, or he lied to Cameron

• OR he didn't cheat on Sam

• He started to cheat after the first divorce AND his marriages started to last longer, which is funnier too

• He could've started cheating prior to House entering the picture, but much more likely - after. Divorce and/or House are the cause

• Speaking of. Meeting House is very tightly linked to the #1 divorce. Every time Wilson would think back on it, he would have to think about all the turmoil and getting bailed by House. And vice versa - every time he'd think back on meeting House...

• "I met someone who made me feel funny. And I didn't want to let that feeling go." Another Cameron talk. Ur honor, there's something on that wall

• btw, he is STILL married while meeting House, so if you hilson 1st-night-fuck truther, that meeting is his cheater origin story in a more practical sense. He then could've really meant all the marriages, but then he lied about telling Sam/Cameron, he might not count it since he's divorcing to tell Sam

• Ultimately, he's a huge liar, and I'm wasting my time. What I'm saying - nothing is really off the table with this guy in terms of hcs

• Aftermaths of #2 and #3 aren't really talked about like #1. It must've been really nuclear

• House says neither of them recovered from (#1) divorce to Wilson's face, Wilson doesn't contest that in any way. Even tho House didn't know Wilson before the divorce he usually right on the money with these things

• After the divorce #2 Wilson got 3 legged cat

• After failing to secure marriage #4 (#1 part 2) he got a diabetic cat

• Just like the thing he has with missing phone calls, after every divorce, consciously or not, he might expect a savior to bail him out

• After and during #3 he crashed at House's, then surfed hotels, then moved in with a dying patient, then Amber's, then House moved in with him (still Amber's)

• Maybe his wives kept taking properties in the divorce, and he just stopped getting them

• Man frankly didn't have a home for a while (HOMELESS BUT NOT HOUSELESS)

• Then Wilson finally commits and gets the place for himself and House, from Bonnie (#2)

• Wilson adamantly remains on good terms with his ex-wives (but not random exes. One helps House with a prank, House kept tabs bc of course)

• But Wilson thinks they hate him. Did he ever pay attention to them?

• While spending all the time with House, then cheating, telling his wives about it, Wilson gave them more attention and emotions to delay the divorce

• He also learned how not to get attached in marriage, to not get destroyed by the divorce (excellent gambit if you expect your marriage to fail)

• He has a better support system now too. Can't believe House is your support system, fucking lmao and ouch. Cuddy is his only other friend we see, maybe Stacy at some point (he kept in touch with after the incident)

• All his other friends and family we hear next to nothing about, at best they're surface level

• In season 5 he's only visited by the coworkers/House's team + Cuddy <- all that is pretty much House's tolerance circle

• House is pathetic, but Wilson is something else entirely

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fujowebdev · 23 days ago

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✨(G)IT'S DELIVERY DAY✨

The first issue of the Fujoshi Guide to Web Development has been drafted, edited, alpha-read, beta-read, possibly even omega-read—and starting today, it'll be backer-read!

After 18 months' work, the digital preview hit our backers' inboxes this morning.

As you can imagine, A LOT of work from A LOT of incredibly talented people went into making this day possible.

Our mission was not easy: creating an approachable and engaging learning experience for beginners with a technology as complex as Git? "Impossible!", many would say.

And yet, according to our beta readers, we succeeded in doing just that. So it's time for the penultimate test: put the digital preview in the hands of a slightly-broader public and find out if our backers agree with our betas!

As you can imagine, we're scared but excited 🫣

Thanking everyone who participated in this issue would fill the whole tweet, so here's the zine credits in the pics👇, featuring @essential-randomness, @enigmalea, @starfieldcanvas, @ymkse, @elendraug, @doubledeadstudio, @ikam177, @sgt-spank, @tarantasina, @a-brilliant-loser, @mappapapa and beyond!

Remember to sign up for our newsletter on to follow along with our progress, or sign up at the bottom of our site to get notified when Issue 1 is available to the general public!

And you can always get updates by following us here!

#fujoguide #learn to code #fandom #fujoshi

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atopvisenyashill · 2 months ago

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What are your thoughts on GRRM’s new notablog post on HOTD S2?

omg i'm sorry so i did not get notified that i had a few new asks, i didn't even see this until i logged in on desktop. tumblr eat shit smh.

ANYWAYS.

I actually agree with Xiran Jay Zhao, here, where they said this was a warning shot. It feels like a warning shot. Like a "hey I'm being nitpicky and pedantic now but if you think I won't go scroched earth you got another thing coming." I've seen so much "this is unprofessional" "this is annoying" "why is he complaining" and I think it is not only mind boggling to side with a corporation and the idiots running these shows (and we know I mostly like Condal and Hess, but come on Condal was the mastermind of Sansa Bolton why are we defending him right now!!), I think everyone is blowing his comments wildly out of proportion. He didn't take a dig at anyone but the writer's room and more specifically Ryan Condal, who he has had a working relationship with for well over a decade. He didn't shittalk any casting, he didn't shittalk any specific writers or directors except one of the main showrunners, he compliments the special effects, he has consistently had (and imo is careful) nothing but praise for the actors, even minor roles like Blood & Cheese. This was an incredibly milqtoast "please remember that every change has huge affects on the narrative later" critique and the people handwringing over his behavior are absolute losers, I'm sorry.

And beyond the fact that he didn't make any huge digs, I think this conversation also wildly ignores the way authors have no control over their own characters once they sign the rights over. They can be completely bamboozled by changes and they have no recourse to go "what the hell are you doing." And yet, signing your book's rights away (even if the production sits in developmental hell for decades) is usually what nets these author's the most money - GRRM surely makes a shitton off his books, but most authors get paid absolutely nothing even when they're wildly popular because of how book deals work now. Take, again, Xiran for example - Iron Widow was a huge runaway hit, a good and fresh take on this new boom of culturally based sff. And yet Xiran has talked about how they immediately set to work writing a middle grade novel because they desperately needed the money because they got paid 16k over two years for their runaway hit that made their publishers significantly more than 16k. I think George is not only mad for authors with less control than he has but also, obviously, for himself - I've said time and again, but I do think Dark Daenerys is where we are headed, and the fact that they completely botched showing it has got to smart. And if the ending for Dany is anything other than Jon killing her, that has got to smart too. So he watched these people fuck up his original series and push him completely out of that writer's room as they made more and more changes, and now he's watching s2 of HOTD and seeing some changes and getting some real bad vibes. It's not doomerism to think s3 is going to go massively off the rails when we have seasons 6-8 of the main show to show us just how off the rails it can go!

So anyways, that part of my rant over (and please believe me when I say I checked myself here because I could rant for hours about how it's genuinely so upsetting to see people call him unprofessional over this when not only did he write the fucking series, but he's lived in this series for three decades!!!!! this is his whole life, this is his legacy, of course he's feeling some type of way about how it's handled jesus christ on a cracker, there's people who have said worse about their mediocre nyt pushed bestsellers getting adapted badly!), when it comes to the actual meat of his post....I'm sorry idk how anyone is annoyed by this post because it was hilarious to me. He spent a whole blog post whinging about how Dead Baby #4 and Kingsguard Man #12 are gonna get cut out of the show. I think he framed it in that goofy way on purpose to hide how annoyed he is but you can see where the real annoyance lies - the changes to Helaena, losing one of his grisly death scenes, and being willfully mislead about potential changes to the plot. I think a lot of people missed those points but EYE am not a goofy ass like those people and I can guarantee you that Condal and HBO got the point too.

Of course, I do think he is also irked about Maelor and Ser Rickard's scenes being cut out. He wrote a long ass, highly meticulous, near unadaptable work, and I think when he handed the IP over he assumed he was giving it to people who would rise to the challenge and only make cuts when absolutely necessary. And that just clearly hasn't happened. Incredibly important characters get cut, main characters get their plots wildly changed for no reason, and people get personality transplants on a near constant basis for no other reason than D&D and Condal thought it would look cooler. I think if there was more dedication to keeping him in the loop and keeping true to the story, he wouldn't have bitched so much. But Hess is on record saying she doesn't feel loyal to the story and at a certain point, you reach your breaking point there and I think he has finally reached his. AND GOOD FOR HIM. LET THAT OLD MAN GO APESHIT THEY'VE COMPLETLEY FUCKED HIS WORLD UP!!!

#asks #grrm #anti D&D #anti ryan condal #anti hotd #like saying this as someone who liked the first season and thought the blacks part of this season was good #he is right to be mad and i can't believe i've seen so many people get angry over this #i would be so much more annoying if i was him

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bunniehoneys · 3 months ago

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track limits - WIP

In honour of coanda effect hitting 100K hits on ao3 today (how) here's a wip from the sequel! thank you everyone, love you all so much.

Any future wips will be posted to my ko-fi, just select the early access + wips tier to see them :3

March 2026

They get into Bahrain in the early hours of the morning, via AirGojo. Quite a few drivers plus Haibara end up on the flight, and most of them sleep through it. Megumi is mostly unable to, letting his leg bounce up and down as he scrolls through his phone whilst Yuuji lies with his cheek pressed to his thigh and snores lightly. It's sort of awkward because the only other person awake on the flight is Gojo, sitting cross-legged on one of the sofas, not really doing much at all apart from listening to music with one of those stupid sleep masks pulled over his eyes. For the light, he says. Despite knowing Gojo's pretty much blind, Megumi still feels painfully observed.

That might be part of the problem. At the end of last season all the drivers and team principals had been notified that there'd be a film crew at most of the races, starting at the testing in Bahrain, filming-- something. Megumi's asked a good few drivers, now, and he still can't figure out what it is: a one-off documentary, or a series, or something else entirely. What they have managed to parse is that the producer worked on something for football in the UK last year and all the players complained about how it dug into their personal lives a little too much, opening them up to criticism. Megumi's been losing sleep over it.

Nothing too bad would happen if it came out that he was with Yuuji, in theory. The team knows. Getou knows, too, so Keicho must have some sort of contingency plan should things go awry, but being looked at by TV crews the entire way through the season is still putting him on edge. Like they're looking for cracks, for reasons he still doesn't have a championship in his pocket despite having the fastest car for the first half of last season. He'll happily blame himself to the press, but the balance is hard to find. If he's too self-deprecating, he's not capable, and if he's not critical enough, he's a loser who can't get out of his own ass.

Fun. It's super fun.

Gojo had come out last year. He did it in a super controlled way, right when rumours about Megumi and Yuuji had been seriously picking up. Megumi suspects that it had something to do with it, but he can't be sure, so. He hasn't asked. It created the most insane media whirlwind in the lead-up to the season that the journalists pretty much forgot to ask him about the car, about his championship prospects, about the sport. He lost count of how many times he was asked Gojo is like a mentor to you, how does this affect your relationship? Does this change things? Did you know?

Someone, later on, insinuated that Gojo had been sleeping with him and that’s why Megumi was chosen for a JTR seat, and then he’d really had enough, walking out on a written media session because of it. PR had sat him down and told him he needed to attempt to do damage control when this kind of stuff came up, but Megumi had snorted and told them that they could answer instead.

Here’s the thing. Gojo is the greatest driver of all time, if the fans are willing to disregard Sukuna. His stats are better. He has two-thirds of a triple crown, he’s racing in other series. He lost his seat for Le Mans, in the whirlwind. He’d immediately gained one in Keicho, set until JTR decide to field an entry, but–

He’d lost his seat.

It’s not like he needs the money. He’s racing for fun. He’s absolutely filthy rich. He knows firsthand that the wedding band he bought for Getou cost a fortune. But he’s the greatest, and enough people still decided it was enough of an issue to not want him on their team.

Gojo had ruffled his hair at the time, said brightly, “it’s okay, they’ll lose because they don’t have me,” and they did, Keicho won and Gojo made the difference, but it didn’t feel like enough.

Megumi doesn’t think anyone blames him for being secretive, in the grand scheme of things. There’s– he’s not told Yuuji anything about the car. It’s good, being together with someone who understands. Who knows when to push and when to back off. Who knows that legally, Megumi can’t speak much about his job.

He presses a hand to Yuuji’s hair, and watches where Nobara has collapsed on a different couch. Inumaki and Yuuta are around, somewhere, too. Haibara has woken up half an hour before they’re due to land, and is talking to Gojo quietly, who looks thoughtful, a hand pressed over his mouth.

Gojo’s technically going as a pundit. As a presenter. Megumi thinks he might be in the comms box for a bit. Really, he’s there because he can’t get away. When he stepped in for some early races last season, Yuuji had been convinced he’d take an offer to come back to the sport, but Gojo had laughed when Megumi asked. Said he was happy not having to travel a million miles every weekend. Happy living in Italy.

It’s not like Getou wouldn’t have given him a seat. There was talk about it for a while. But Megumi knows the entire grid breathed a sigh of relief when Gojo ruled out a full-time return.

Equally, though, he’s always around. Mostly in their garage. He used to float around Keicho a lot, before he came out and people started speculating about him and Getou, so he stopped. He knows a few drivers will seek him out for track walks, or advice, or just to talk. Megumi doesn’t have to.

“You might wanna wake him up,” Gojo says, nodding at Yuuji, and Megumi nods, tapping his shoulder a few times.

Not quite the opening scene, but a very early one. Definitely sets the tone. Enjoy all :3

#fic: track limits #fic: coanda effect #satosugu #jjk f1 au #itafushi #series: lights out and away we go #jjk fic

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estxkios · 1 year ago

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MIDNIGHT

tomkaulitz x skater!reader

summary: you sneak out with your boyfriend at midnight to smoke. (part two with smut??)

requested - no

--------------------------------------------------------

you couldnt fall asleep, youd been sitting upright in bed staring into the wall for what felt like hours. at this point, you want to give up the agonizing game of trying to fall asleep so you look over to your cluttered nightsand and grab your phone off of it. the screen turning on lit up your face in the dark room, all you saw was the time 11:59 pm, until the brightness coming from your phone caused you to squint irritatingly hard, so you flicked on your lamp.

after your eyes adjusted to the light you resumed back to your phone and opened your messages app, not expecting to see anything. except there was something. 4 messages from your boyfriend, tom.

tom : hey, u up? 11:56 pm

tom : can i come over 11:59 pm

tom : are you ignoring me i saw you turn ur light on 12:00 am

tom : fuck it im coming 12:02 am

and right as you read the last message there was a faint tapping on your window, you jolted at the sound, but then connected the dots. it was tom. you gently pulled your curtain to the side, he smiled when you opened the window, his skateboard that was adorned with stickers clutched in his right hand.

"so ignoring my text messages is cool now?" he said, the window screen still unopened. you giggled at his attitude and lifted up the screen so you could hop out. "i was trying to sleep." you huffed as you hit the ground, the leaves crunching under you as your weight hit them. "doesnt look like your sleeping now, schatz." he pulled down you window and the screen as you patted yourself off. "yeah, tom. obviously." you walked over to him and reached in his coat pocket where he usually kept his joints. he lifted his hands above his head jokingly "jeez didnt know sneaking out with you required a search-" you cut him off by wiggling the joint in your hand in front of his face, showing him you were not infact searching his pockets, just borrowing some weed.

"oh." he laughed and took your hand that wasnt holding the joint, "lets get to the park before we start smoking yeah? your parents will smell it"

"oh shit yeah." you shoved the joint in your own pocket and grabbed your skateboard that you kept outside your window for occasions like this. you reached for toms hand and squeezed it as you two walked down your driveway.

when you reached the end of your driveway, you set down your skateboard. setting your left foot lightly on the front of your board. tom mimicked your movements and started to skate ahead of you.

"tom-! wait up!" you whisper-shouted, trying to make sure you didnt notify your parents you were awake.

"catch up loser!" he shouted, going faster than before.

you snorted and started pushing with your right foot, although you were out of breath from the task, you caught up to him in no time

"oh look who caught up!" tom laughed and went even faster than before, he put his right foot back on his board, putting most of his body weight on the left side of his board making a sharp turn to the skate park. you followed close behind.

the only thing that lit up the skate park was one small street light, so you watched as toms blurry figure dipped into the bowl.

you expected him to pop back out on the other side of it, except he didnt. so you shouted, "tom?"

"come down here schätzen!" he called from the bottom of the bowl, his voice echoing off the curved walls of it.

you walked to the edge of the bowl. you couldn't skate down because you would hit tom so you shouted "catch!" before sending your board down to tom, who was sitting down with his legs spread.

"oh- fuck!" he squealed

he quickly grabbed the board before it hit him in the balls. you could not stop laughing. you slid down, shoes scraping the paved walls.

"its not funny." tom said with a stern look.

"oh but it really is!" you giggled and sat next to him at the bottom of the bowl, your legs touching his. you grabbed the joint out of your pocket and put it in your mouth.

tom, knowing the drill, took the lighter out of his pocket and instead of immediately lighting your joint he grabbed your chin

"you're so gorgeous."

you rolled your eyes. but deep inside your stomach was twisting with anticipation, and thanks the darkness that surrounded the two of you he couldnt see your cheeks that were now dusted with a dark pink shade.

he brought the lighter to your joint and carefully lit it, taking one of the many joints out of his pocket and doing the same with his. he took a long draw of his joint and held the smoke in his mouth. his hand reached up to your joint and he took it out of your mouth.

he put two fingers under your chin and got closer to your face. he put his lips near yours but didnt seal the air between you with a kiss, instead, he pulled your mouth open with his thumb and passed the smoke into your mouth.

you breathed in his smoke and inhaled, puffing the rest out of your nose, giggling. you got closer to him and wrapped you arms around his neck. he smiled, touching his forehead to yours, and this time, he did seal the air between you two with a passionate kiss.

#tom kaulitz #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz x reader fluff #tom kaulitz x reader smut #tom kaulitz imagines #bill kaulitz #georg listing #gustav schafer x reader #smut #bill kaulitz smut #georg listing smut #tokio hotel #tokio hotel smut #tokio hotel fluff #tokio hotel x reader

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ae-neon · 1 year ago

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Nesta Vs ACOSF, a rambling rant

TW: mentions of sexual assault and abuse

Besides the "love" story that read like a quiet descent into domestic horror, ACOSF has one element that keeps me from being able to pick it up even just to sift through for Nesta gems: sex.

Here me out, I'm not a prude and I think we could have gotten a smutty romance but...

At her core, Nesta has always been a proud and modest person.

To be clear, with pride, I mean that her sense of self - her famous steel spine - has kept her together and unbroken even during harrowing circumstances. It's vital to her. It's so ingrained in her that - given we have no other explanation - we can assume it's what shields her mind from literal magic. However, like any trait, her pride can also be a thing that comes off as negative in the wrong situations.

With modesty, she was raised to keep a certain ideology that based her value on sex, beauty, marriage etc but it's important to understand that Nesta applied those standards inwards, at herself. (Eg In acotar, she brings up Feyre and Isaac in defence of her and Tomas, in acomaf, she is mostly upset about not hearing from Feyre or being notified that Feyre has switched courts - not about Feyre sleeping with Tamlin and then Rhys)

Now, I don't think Nesta's modesty makes her better than Feyre, in fact I was happy to get the representation of two different types of views on sex

But what I didn't consider at the time was that SJM was painting this out to be a negative trait.

In retrospect it seems obvious even though Nesta has defied her narrative destiny and become a sort of icon, at the end of the day she was still supposed to be written in a negative contrast to Feyre.

It seems funny but imagine you consumed the book the way Sarah intended, the way so many in the fandom have. The old Sarah Says rule, for my long time mutuals.

For example:

The dinner in acomaf - it's obvious Nesta is upset that she hasn't heard from Feyre only to have her come through not only as a whole Fae but bringing others and endangering their entire family.

But imagine it as a one dimensional reading and suddenly the "I fuck" dialogue is a girlboss moment of feminism giving a fuck you to the strict patriarchy of the "mortal lands" let's ignore how the Fae are actually more patriarchal and the Illyrians even more so than that

So understand that Nesta's modesty is being directly contrasted with Feyre's sexual freedom. The reader - at least from sjm's perspective - is supposed to agree with Feyre and disagree with Nesta in a sort of win/lose, yes/no, black/white dichotomy.

And because sjm is consistent and boring and a self-inset author, this dynamic doesn't change even when the protagonist does.

Only now sjm and her feminism has changed from fuck-whoever-I-want girlboss to kinky-but-only-with-my-husband tradwife

So Nesta can't be prudish and cut off because 1) it's not as conducive to the breakdown of self and buildup of a dependent and abusive relationship and 2) it's not in direct contrast with Feyre's current monogamous, traditional family values character.

So Nesta starts drinking and sleeping around and it's not because we're going to explore the unraveling of the pride and modesty at the core of the character as part of her transformation or as a result of her trauma

But because it's supposed to be a bad look, degrading, it shows she's failed, it makes her a loser

All of that is already insane. And even more so when taken with the context of her assault by Tomas and the sex centred relationship she has with Cassian

Now add to that the fact that in the book, Nesta is an object of desire for 2 villains and undergoes assault and drowning AGAIN

Sjm literally gives less than 2 fucks about SA, that much is obvious even from the way she inflicts and then disregards the experience of both Feyre and Rhysand respectively. It's a tool for her, a quirky story element

But to have Nesta experience such a similar thing - especially when the experience of being Made can be read as a sort of rape allegory on its own - and all for the sake of "romance" fantasy??

Even Nesta's reading habits are sexualised, to be clear I don't think there's anything wrong with reading smut, but the scope of her intellect and reading is narrowed down when we're suddenly made to believe most of the books she reads are smut.

This is someone who likely taught herself economics and investment within months in order to not just pay off the debt, upgrade her whole family's way of life but also rebuild the family fortune. Someone who, having stopped schooling at around 14/15, did the math needed to calculate the feasibility of the evacuation of a small country.

Someone who's verbally stated life goal was to see what a woman could make of herself in the world.

Even her love of reading is used as a stepping stone for how horny she is, instead of it being a result of her deeply ingrained need for escapism

She reads smut because the only thing she has in common with Cassian and the IC is sex. Because sjm thought one of the core elements of a friendship between 2 SA survivors and a disabled woman from a culture that mutilated her for being born a woman would be their desire to fantasise about men.

All the while the male love interest treats her like garbage.

We could have had a smutty book filled with sex where each scene could have been the growth of Nesta's trust and love of Cassian through intimacy. It could have been a sexual relationship that involved and explored kink - which explored vulnerability and the negative impact of how Nesta's pride became a source of stress and strain.

It could have been an exploration about the complicated relationship with desire and oppressors that many survivors have. But it isn't.

It's hahaha horny, so RELATABLE

Even when it comes to the abusive situation Nesta grew up in, it's just hung up like decoration on the character. Not explored, let alone healed. I don't wanna hear that sjm explained or explored Nesta's abuse when we don't even get her mother or her grandmother's names

We don't get

The complexity of being a trapped and abused woman who came from a trapped and abused woman who came from a trapped and abused woman

Or the complexity of a dysfunctional family

Or even the journey of recovery from addiction and self-harming behaviour

Now, not every aspect of Nesta or any survivors lives have to boil down to how it relates to their experiences but SJM is praised for her "recovery" and so much of this book is about sex and abuse but has no depth

It could have been a less-deep, fun experience of sex and desire and kink. But no

Nesta has sex with many faceless men because sjm is condemning her as a failure. Sex is her punishment, it makes her dirty and unworthy and cheap.

Then, through her "healing", she becomes a sex doll for the right guy. Sex is her reward, it makes her hot and useful and appealing.

Sjm writes not just like a man but like a particularly talented misogynist so it's the way sex is used that really puts me off

Edit: ultimately I think the sex and romance should have interacted with and evolved her pride, modesty and past experiences, rather than those things being demolished to turn her into a sex doll

#anti acosf #anti nessian #anti sjm #acotar rant #nesta deserves better #sjm critical #nesta archeron

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chainera · 7 months ago

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The Perfect Spectacle

Context:

This artwork is based off of my own interpretation of Earth and Mercury during the Venus vs Mars episode. Earth saw the argument between them as an opportunity to try and get Mars’ friendship back by manipulating the two of them into a grand spectacle where he would bestow Mars the honor of being the winner. His plan was to get Mars so ecstatic in his victory that he would sort of ‘forget’ the whole scenario with Titan, and Venus, the loser, would successfully be out of the Earth’s life and everything would go back to normal.

Meanwhile, Mercury is notified of this situation. He can see all the ways that Earth’s scheme will go wrong, but deliberately chooses not to take action out of spite towards the other inner planets. He believed that they never cared about him- Venus bullied him, and Mars and the Earth didn’t bother to help. So therefore, Mercury decided that they didn’t deserve his worry or his help, and stood by the sidelines as everything goes to ruin.

Also idk what happened to my art style but uhh… I like it! A lot :D

#solarballs #art #digital art #solarballs fanart #fanart #character design

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leahrintarou · 1 year ago

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☠︎︎ DAY TWENTY-FOUR: PUBLIC FT. SUNA

☠︎︎ WARNINGS: jealous y/n, unprotected sex, suna is a loser, fem reader, marking, shes wearing a dress

☠︎︎ WORD COUNT: 1k

to say the least, y/n was a visual example of a ticking time bomb. her eye's avoided the way her boyfriend was chatting up a storm with one of his former friends but the way she could hear the joy and small ruptures of shared laughs, only added fuel to the fire. y/n stood up, notifying her friends of her leave to the restroom, not taking another glance at suna's figure.

taking a few steps towards the door of the restroom, she entered the large area after hearing the familiar and lazy pacing of suna's footsteps. she twisted the lock, and soon after heard the sounds of his tracking stop directly in front of the door which acted a a barricade between the two. his knock on the door was soon followed by a call of y/n's name. "what?"

"what are you doing?"

her silence only made suna sigh from annoyance before he snuck his hands into the pockets of his pants, letting out a hum. "can i come in?" a smirk appeared onto his lips once he heard the sound of the door click, followed by it opening and revealing y/n's features of irritation. "what do you want, rin?".

he removed one of his hands from his pocket, pressing it onto the door so he could further push it open and pass through. y/n took a few steps back, giving him space as he locked the door behind himself, leaning his back against the sturdy structure. "so, what's wrong?" he asked, admiring her features when she focused on him through a glare.

"you shouldn't keep her waiting by worrying about me. i'm fine"

"gosh, you're so easy to read. she's an old friend, what are you getting so upset for?" he took small steps closer to y/n, reaching for her wrist to pull her closer to himself. "shut up, suna"

"i will" he leaned himself closer towards y/ n's lips, pressing his pair against her own, catching her off guard. he noticed how she was tense from his action but relaxed when he pulled away, causing her to frown at his evident teasing. "im yours, aren't i?" suna smiled, and y/n hummed in response, giving him an unsure reply. his hand trailed around her waist, carefully backing her up so she could lean onto the sinks counter.

"i am. do you want me to prove it to you?"

y/n tilted her head slightly before placing a firm grip to suna's nape, pulling him into a messy kiss. he couldn't help but smile against her lips when he felt how possesive she became. a moan erupted from his throat when y/n slightly tugged on his bottom lip with pinch of her teeth. suna's hands trailed down her waist to the back of her thighs, hoisting her onto the counter, successfully keeping their lips entangled with each other.

he kept his hands on her waist, leaving y/n impatient. "hurry" she mumbled, slightly pulling away from the kiss when his fingers tugged the hem of her dress further up her thighs. he wasted no time to remove his aroused erection from the restraints of his pants, pulling the fabric of y/n's underwear to the side, exposing her sex. he slowly inserted himself, a muffled moan seeping past the both of their lips at that familiar feeling of relief.

y/n's arms wrapped around sunas nape as she attempted to pull him closer, all the while, leaving warm and breathy pant's to breeze by his ear. his hips motioned in a more of a quick pace due to the fact that the two's current location wasn't really the designated area for them to engage in such explicit acts. "feel good?" suna asked, voice coming out in a rasp since he was in fact trying to hold back his strained moans,

y/n shook her head, able to answer with a breathy 'no' since a sturdy voice wasn't something that she could manage to use in this moment. suna's hand guided itself to her lower back, pressing their hips to meet closer to the other. "really? your body is telling me otherwise?" suna was confident in his words. after all, he new the way y/n's figure would react to anything. he had more knowledge of her body than she herself.

he felt how y/n was desperately trying to hold back, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing the effect that he had on her. the way her sex was so accustomed to his pleasure, yet, her reactions to it always made her feel like she was on cloud nine each time. he noticed how her act slowly broke, her moans becoming more audible against her will. suna groaned when he felt her lips make contact with his neck, the sensation of her tongue and and sucking motions completely sending jolts a pleasure throughout his body.

y/n didn't intend on leaving a few marks behind but, she just couldn't stop herself. when suna's received pleasure helped quicken his stroking motions in and out of y/n's sex, the two of them couldn't help but meet dazed and lust filed gazes before meeting lips for a messy make out. in all honesty, they were somewhat aware of their surrounding and wanted nothing more than trying to lessen the volume of their pleasured moans. the feeling washed over the two, simultaneously allowing them to have that satisfying feeling of relief to envelope their closed figures.

the grip of his digits on y/n's hips became tighter as suna's thrust became stronger. a groan fell into the kiss when his movements slowed, riding out both he and y/n's high, the two savoring every second of euphoria. suna eventually parted from the kiss, eyes flickering to the mirror that was behind y/n. he notice the bruised marking's that she had previously left behind, making him glance back to y/n, accusingly eyeing her lips and then her satisfied gaze.

"you didn't have to mark me, n/n"

"you did say you were mine though"

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n0irrrr · 8 months ago

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REISS MENTAL ASYLUM / 14

【 shingeki no kyojin / mental asylum – alternative universe, modern setting 】『male!yandere!various x male!prettyboy!reader』 summary: Finally! You have been given an opportunity to work at Reiss Mental Asylum- your job hunting hasn’t been great, so to hear you got an opportunity made you excited. At the beginning everything seems normal- but without noticing, some people began to get obsessed with you. warnings/tags: DARK/HEAVY THEMES. Non-consensual themes; sexual assault, touching, drug use, rape attempt. Home invasion, yanderes, obsessive behavior, murder, blood, explicit content, sexual thoughts. Somnophilia at the end! masterlist

notes: someday i will rewrite this whole cringe thing and feel better about it, LOL. but i hope there's enjoyement in this chapter.

１３

「lazy afternoons」

“Yes, Porco, I’m okay.” [name] chuckled softly. “I will stay over a friend’s house, so there’s no need to worry about me.”

Porco snorted loudly, obviously making fun of his lie. [name] pouted at such reaction. “A friend’s house? Exactly who? You have no friends, you loser."

”H—Hey! I do have friends!!” He felt childish, and he could tell Porco was having fun by proving him he was a lonely loser. “I have many!!”

”Really? Haven’t seen you go out a single day without the same fucking guy.”

"They are just... secretive. AND busy!"

"Busy... of course." Porco's tone changed, but [name] couldn't put more attention thanks to his migraine. "If everything goes well here, we'll have a talk, you and me. It's important."

"That sounds serious... is something going on?"

"Just... take care of yourself in that disgusting place, man. Tell Victor—"

"Vincent!"

"Whatever his fucking name is, to stay with you. With what you told me, I..." Porco couldn't continue. [name] heard some grunts on the other line— was he embarrassed?

[name] grinned. "I care about you too, Porco."

"Shut up. I'm hanging up." [name] could tell he was flustered, but silenced his laugh.

"See you soon!"

"Lock your doors and windows."

"Will do."

‿̩͙‿ ༺ ♰ ༻ ‿̩͙‿

After the call ended, [Name] let out a grunt. He hid his head within his covers as he remembered Mike’s words about him getting sick. The man was a witch—or maybe a wizard? Either way, he was right. Or at least, his nose told him the future, somehow.

[Name] hadn’t felt dandy when he got to his apartment the night before. He knew getting out of the car by himself wasn’t possible, and Levi, knowing this, helped him as he did before.

He had a bad stomachache and an urge to throw up again; but thought a good night's rest was enough to wake him up and make him feel better. Unfortunately, the moment his alarm interrupted his sleep, he felt the worst way possible.

He also had a fever. He was 100% sure. The cushion was already disgustingly wet from his sweat, along with his pillow, but his sudden weak body didn’t let him get up. Not even when he felt the need to puke. So poor [Name] had to stay put and try to calm himself if he didn’t want to make a disgusting mess in his room. He didn't know how much time had passed since then.

Even if his whole body felt weak and disgusting, [Name] tried to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. Yet, the moment he got up, he almost fell— if it weren’t for his nightstand, his face would have been kissing the floor, with blood being a plus. It was then that he accepted his defeat and called Margaret to notify her of his absence. She had replied, saying she had been waiting for his call since Mike mentioned his condition yesterday. The poor sick just sighed, thanked her, apologized, and hung up.

He was ready for another bad sleep when the phone on the nightstand rang. His eyes couldn’t identify the caller since his vision was a bit blurry, but answered blindly. The moment the voice in the other line spoke, [Name] miraculously surpassed an embarrassing yelp from coming out.

“[Name], it’s Erwin. Good morning, first of all. I’ve been notified of your absence for today. Is everything alright?”

“O—Oh, uhm, y—yes! Ah—! Sorry, good morning!” It was obvious [Name] wasn’t in the right mind. He couldn’t think clearly, and his head felt like it was burning. His words slurred a bit. “I just got a bit of a fever— nothing I can’t handle, heheee…” What a fast man Erwin was— did he call him the moment Margaret notified him?

”Is that so? How are you feeling?”

”Everything is good! I’m fffine, really!”

There was a moment of silence on the other line, making [Name] a bit anxious. Was he angry? Upset? Did the think this was a lie?

“I see. Also, don’t worry about today’s schedule. Everything’s covered, alright?”

“O—Ok… and, uhm… sorry about today… I didn’t meaan to get sick…”

[Name] heard a chuckle from the other line. ”Don’t worry about that, [Name]. It’s not your fault— something like that can be rearranged when you feel better, so don’t overthink it.”

After saying goodbye, [Name] let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding.

The silence filling his room let his mind wander about the frightening man. He had felt the intense gaze on him everywhere he went. The sick male wanted to believe something else but a feeling of desire filled those blue eyes. The thought only caused him to grip the bedsheets harder, his face feeling warmer and his thoughts messy. He wanted to turn a blind eye to it, but it was too obvious. The man was bold!

But… would it be wrong, though? To accept the date fully? At the moment, it felt like an obligation—a must. [Name] didn’t feel particularly happy about such a thing. Neither when Zeke wanted to use him to do such dirty play to Erwin. Now, it didn’t feel that bad; it was just embarrassing. He laughed light-headedly as he pictured Erwin on a date with him—maybe eating strawberry cake? or just chuckling at whatever they were talking about…

The imaginary moment lulled him slowly, blinking lazily at the ceiling. Maybe a good sleep in another place would make him feel better…

But a knock on his door interrupted him, startling him. The sound only made him grunt— he didn’t want to get up… but he did nevertheless. Of course, as his mind wasn’t in the right state, he took his blanket with drawings of frogs with him. He breathed heavily as he tried not to stumble too much. When he got to the entrance, he opened the door right away while his mind ignored how Porco scolded him about how he had to look into the peephole first before answering the door. Living in this godforsaken apartment was dangerous; serial killers would love to pick a stupid victim here, he said.

He blinked lazily, not really recognizing who he was staring at. Until he abruptly stood straight with a yelp, realizing it was Levi at his door, looking as happy as ever. [Name] couldn’t be more embarrassed by how he looked right now: a blanket with cartoony frogs on it, his oversize T-shirt with his favorite cartoon, and his shorts. His hair was a mess, his face was warm, and his eyes fought to stay closed— it was more to say that his bruises were on display too.

Levi, amused by the display, raised a brow. “It looks like nose man was right.”

Still, [Name] didn't know what else to say. He stood there, dumbfounded.

“Are you making me stay here all day or what? Have some manners.” The ravenette spoke in irritation, but with no malice. After all, it was known by now that his scolding was just for fun. Well... sometimes. This was enough to wake [name] up from his embarrassing episode. He quickly opened the door with incoherent mumbling and stood aside, letting Levi inside.

He felt dizzy; what he said sounded more as if he was barely keeping it together. “I—I didn’t expect you here!” He cringed at his own wording, trying to save himself: “I mean, I don’t mean you can’t come in! It’s just that I— Weeell—”

“I didn’t expect myself here either, but since we all know you don’t know a thing about self-care, here I am." The ravenette spoke sternly, his eyes narrowing into a sharp critical gaze as he observed the apartment.

“Buuuut… There was no neeeed…” The amount of talking made him even dizzier, as he stumbled backwards a little bit. Levi just raised a brow, expecting another lie.

“Stop being stubborn and sit down.” The ravenette placed some plastic bags on the table and emptied it. He took out a canned soup, and [Name] could smell fresh vegetables from the other bag.

He stared dumbfoundedly at the contents, then at Levi, then at the bags, then at the man again. The ravenette stared him back and spoke as if he was talking with an idiot: “You don’t have anything in your fridge.”

[Name] stayed in silence, processing the words from him. Then, he stood straight as he stared in embarrassment, eyebrows furrowing. “How do you know that?!”

“Because that’s you.”

[Name] didn’t know if to take that as an offense, so he avoided the ravenette’s gaze and looked defeated.

Levi didn’t care, it seemed, since he changed the subject. “What have you been doing before I got here?”

“Hmn… nothing…?” [Name] sighed and blinked lazily. “I wanted to take a shower, since I’m all sweaty… but I didn’t have any energy, and I thought I would feeell—”

“Oh, you will,” Levi stated, while crossing his arm as he tried to think, “you will get that shower. You look like a pig.”

“You are meaaaaan…” it wasn’t as if [Name] was in his right mind anyway to think of what he said, “I’m going to fall… I can’t go… and I feel sick,” he tightened the froggy bedsheets around him even more— he just wanted to fall asleep again.

“No.” Levi spoke sternly, harshly taking the cover off of [Name], causing him to gasp. “You will get that shower, so better get up and show me where the bathroom is before I take the sink to shower you.”

The ravenette took [Name] from the back of his shirt, forcing him to stand up. [Name] couldn’t help but comply, secretly glad he didn’t have to walk alone anymore as he guided Levi to the bathroom. It could seem like a careless action or touch by Levi, but he was sure [Name] wouldn’t fall even if he tripped, since the grip on his collar was strong enough.

He just didn’t want to touch sweat.

Levi was a bit grateful the bathroom was in decent shape after seeing such living room. It was small, with some corners and part of the sink and bathtub colored in oxidation thanks to the time. The mirror had some marks on it, along with the flooring having some ruptures. In Levi's mind, he couldn't stop repeating how horrible this place was. Or rather, how disgusting this whole building was.

He ordered [name] to steady himself with the sink while he filled the bathtub with not-too-warm water. Complying with a soft okay—! [name] allowed Levi to work, a little embarrassed when he noticed Levi’s narrowed eyes glaring at how slowly the water came in. If he was bothered or irritated, he didn't voice it, nor did [name].

In whatever silence they were in, Levi broke it off with a blunt order as he returned to his spot beside [name], taking his collar again. "Take your clothes off."

"U—Uh..?! That's sooo straightforward!!" raising his voice, [name] could feel his face getting warmer. "I—I can't do that in front of youu...!"

"Then should I throw you fully clothed in the water? Or should I undress you myself?"

[Name] felt a little bit of dread at the thought of Levi letting go of him. If he did, [name] didn't trust himself to remain standing.

"O-Okay, okay! Just... please turn around," he said his request with as much gentleness as he could have, eyeing Levi with a pleading look. The ravenette frowned as he stared at the sick idiot for a couple of seconds with cryptic eyes before giving in. Sighing in relief, [name] used Levi's shoulders to steady himself as he undressed clumsily. A few times [name] tightened his grasp on Levi's when tripping with his own clothes, only noticing his strength when the ravenette grunted or let out a remark.

"D—Don't turn around yet! Just... step backwards a little bit, pleease..." Carefully, [name] stepped inside the bathtub with a hum as his skin met the tepid water. It was just then, with water just under his chest as he hugged his legs, that he realized how hot he was. He involuntarily sank his whole body into the water, humming at the now-comforting temperature. He quickly retreated to his original stance when he remembered Levi was waiting for him. "...okay, you can turn around..."

"Finally." Levi took a small stool that was behind the sink and placed it beside the bathtub, sitting down. He rolled up his sleeves and took the shampoo, placing some on his hands. "Close your eyes," he commanded before rubbing the shampoo on [name]'s head, massaging the scalp.

It was actually relaxing on [name]'s part. He thought Levi would be rougher, but his hands were gentle. He could hear himself let out a content hum while his shoulders eased and he rested his chin on his knees.

“Bend over a bit.” Levi asked in a gentle tone this time, taking the soap. Just when [Name] obeyed and Levi was ready to lather him up, he noticed a lengthy burn scar on [Name]’s back, more so on the left side. It didn’t look… severe per se— boiled water, perhaps? Levi could tell fire didn’t cause it.

Whoever it was or whatever caused it, Levi continued to bathe [Name] with other thoughts in mind. It seemed the idiot had forgotten, since he didn’t say a thing about his silence.

“Sorry you haave to do aaall of this, Levi…” [Name]’s voice cut his dark thoughts off. “I’m very sorryyy,”

This time, it was Levi who sighed. “I told you yesterday, didn’t I, idiot? If I don’t do it myself, I will be in a bad mood all fucking day. And I have enough with those shitty glasses at work.”

[Name] giggled, “a mooore of bad mood?”

“Don’t get smart with me.” Levi warned him, but he didn’t sound hostile.

[name] talked about everything and anything. He looked content even if Levi gave hums or half answers when being asked something. At some point, [name]'s voice got lower and lower, until he fell silent. The ravenette was unsure if he had fallen asleep, but seeing his shoulders go up and down slowly made him sure.

Just seeing him like this, in this godforsaken place, rotting away... made him feel something he didn't want to say out loud. He just felt irritation.

[name] seemed asleep. Before waking him up, Levi gently caressed the scar on his back and wondered the reason for this act of dominance. Confusion, or perhaps anger, danced in his mind—not exactly for the scar per se.

He retreated his touch and got up, speaking louder to wake [name] up.

"Oi. Wake up. You can't sleep yet." As he took a towel, he signaled him to stand up to dry his body. He noticed how groggily the [hair color]-haired stood up, with eyes closing every two seconds and not even complaining about being seen naked this time. Levi quickly wrapped [name]'s body without much of a glance. His arm went around [name]'s waist to guide him out of the bathroom and to his room, as [name] vaguely told him where it was.

Surprisingly, his room wasn't a mess. Everything seemed in order and clean, to Levi's somehow relief. Levi asked him for clean clothes as he helped [name] sit down on his bed, but [name] was unable to answer because of his sleepy state. The ravenette grunted as he snapped his fingers in front of [name]'s face, making him jump in surprise and barely waking him up.

"Clothes... Ah! Right there, Levi." The ravenette opened the wardrobe and took the first thing he saw, which was another oversized T-shirt with, this time, a picture of a fat cat, and a pair of shorts. He couldn't stop himself from raising his brows in amusement at such choice of designs, almost wanting to make a remark about it. Yet, it wouldn't be as rewarding to see [name]'s groggy state acting stupid like his normal self. He threw the shirt over [name]'s head, the sick completely out of it to even complain about it.

Levi crossed his arms. "Answer—should I dress you or are you capable?"

"Mhm...? Oh, yeah... I caan..." [name] yawned, lazily taking the shirt. Levi had never seen such clumsiness before as he observed how the idiot missed the biggest entrance for his head to one of the arm’s. And then he looked pretty content about being trapped in the smallest hole, as if he had done a splendid job.

“You look stupid.” That was the only statement Levi could spit out before helping him with the t-shirt. His next objective was the shorts, but [Name] seemed to quickly snap out of his dazed and quickly stutter slurred words Levi couldn’t understand, but could decipher by [Name]’s stupid, embarrassed expression. As always, he asked him to turn around.

“You need to eat.” Levi stated as [Name] finished, turning to him once again.

“I want to sleep, Levi.” The sick idiot tried to lay down on the bed, but Levi’s grip on his shirt stopped him.

“Before that, you will eat.”

“But I’m sleepy…” [Name] tried to ‘charm’ Levi by blinking and staring pathetically. The ravenette narrowed his eyes.

It didn’t work. “But I don’t care. Get up.”

All of this felt like Levi was taking care of a child. Or perhaps a cat. A clumsy, useless cat whose life was only to destroy things and be a nuisance.

[Name] complied. Although this time he didn’t try to not be an annoyance, because his body felt heavier and his words didn’t make sense. Levi knew he needed sleep, but he couldn’t let him, still. Or he just didn’t want to. He couldn’t deny that painful, tired face made him feel better.

He instructed [Name] to patiently wait on the couch, since at least he had some mercy on him and didn’t let him wait on the chair while Levi chopped some vegetables for the food.

The sounds of the old TV and the low snores from [Name]’s filled the room, leaving Levi in a barely peaceful moment.

As he put the ingredients into the pot where he had filled it with the soup, he went to sit on the chair while observing [Name], who waited for the food to be ready.

The idiot stayed asleep, with no care or worry about who was with him. Has anyone broken in? Levi wondered.

The lock looked cheap and easy to break, but Levi instantly knew this idiot would open the door before looking, even if he was in his sane mind. A strong lock or a fancier building wouldn’t change that.

If Erwin hadn't taken a liking to him, where would he be? Dead inside a dumpster, maybe. Or perhaps in a job barely making the minimum wage. Or suffering under someone’s orders. Well, it wasn’t as if his situation was any better, in such a filthy place. Erwin had his reasons to hire him, but he didn't share them. What he couldn't hide from Levi was the acts of devotion he had for the assistant; how his blue eyes stared with such... affection? No. Erwin wasn't like that. Something vicoius hide beside that caring-boss facade.

Speaking of that, who was this guy? Levi felt even more disgusted by the place as he took another look around. This whole building was rotting. Either way, Levi could observe [name]’s attempt to ‘hide’ the mess—pictures. One with him and friends? Perhaps family; a younger [name] with a dog; another picture of him, a guy looking irritated with a black-haired girl... Pretty ordinary pictures.

There were a few small plants, too. A book on the table beside the couch; keys hanging on the wall—were those small paintings? Levi could distinguish between what seemed to be the ocean and a sunset; in another painting, there were frogs in a pod.

[Name] was just like he imagined: a mundane person that he wouldn't usually take an interest in. How could he? This clumsy guy was easy to control, easy to overpower, had naive ideas, was dense... Then why this sudden attention? To someone so insignificant? He could understand Erwin's motives and even that four-eyes son of a bitch, but not his own. Levi found this irritable.

Maybe he liked to imagine how he would tangle his fingers between [name]'s hair, seeing his expression of satisfaction only for him to pull and see that face of being hurt: that pout, teary eyes, that slight frown meaning that he's going to cry... Or just harshly grab that jaw to hear him squeak once he takes his hand away to see the marks he made on that pretty face.

That face…

Levi narrowed his eyes.

That stupid face.

The reminder of the food interrupted his nightmarish thoughts. He went to check and realized it was ready. Without any permission, he took a bowl from the drawers—which didn’t have much—which, particularly, was blue with painted sheep. Levi couldn’t really believe how childish this guy was—hmn? Was that a mug with painted cats…?

Levi served the food. Even when he made lots of noise, the sick idiot didn't even move. The caretaker got in front of him and stared him down—[name] looked exhausted. His expression wasn't a comfortable one*; his body looked tense, and he was sweating.

He looked disgusting.

“Wake up.” Levi grabbed the front of his shirt with no gentleness.

[Name] barely woke up groggily, with his eyes barely opening and closing. From his mouth came words with no meaning, not even pying attention for the man.

Levi made him sit down while he ignored his pleas for him to stop. “Food’s ready. Wake the hell up.”

“Buuuut… I’m asleep…”

“Now you’re not. Get up.” [name] resisted. Levi gritted his teeth, and in his eyes reflected an anger that made [name] shiver. “Get the fuck up, or I’ll punch you until you die.”

“Ok, Okay! I’mm uup—!” Even with slurred words and a weak mind, he knew Levi didn’t make jokes. The thought of Levi acting like a beast made him gulp.

“Huh…” [name] looked at the table, and then at the couch. “Can I eat on the couch…? I don’t want to sit down…”

Levi tightened the grip on his collar. The sounds from the TV weren’t helping his temper much, since an annoying money TV game was on and fueled Levi’s annoyance with him.

The caretaker only pulled him forcibly. “No. You will sit like a civilized, mannered person, not like a pig. You will make a mess if you lay down.”

[name] didn’t dare say anything else. He sat down, like a good boy, and looked at his food. It looked good, actually. The nice aroma reminded him of the hunger in his stomach, as it immediately growled. [name] took the spoon, ready to eat it all.

But, just as expected, [Name] was unable to even feed himself accordingly. His sloppy movements, thanks to his sudden sleepiness, made him unable to hold the spoon properly, messing up the table and dirtying his face. Levi grunted, disgusted once again and more annoyed.

With a harsh move, he took the spoon from [Name]’s shaky hand, surprising him with it. But before Levi could feed him himself, he took a napkin and, with not much gentleness, cleaned [Name]’s face. Whimpers and soft complaints left [Name], but they went to deaf ears. Just as Levi finished, he clicked his tongue at his own exasperation.

“Open your mouth. I will feed you like the child you are.” Levi harshly took [name]'s jaw while he guided the spoon to his mouth. [Name] felt ashamed at first, desperately staring anywhere but Levi's eyes. The ravenette didn't like [name]'s childish behavior, as his grip on his jaw tightened. [name] jumped, opening his mouth with teary eyes. "Why don't you just obey? Always doing what you should not be doing." Levi's never softened his grip, perhaps as a punishment for being disobedient.

This kept going in silence until [name] felt full. A gentle touch on the hand with which Levi gripped his jaw was enough for his caretaker to abruptly stop and glare at him directly. [name]’s body tensed. "I'm—I'm full..." The stare he got was enough to make him shiver. Why were there times when he could speak to Levi normally, but in times like this, Levi unnerved him?

It didn't help when he stared like that. And the way he silently got up, took his bowl, and began doing the dishes didn’t help at all. Was he angry? Did he do something wrong?

Well, whatever. He felt sleepy again. The food had helped him feel comfortable, in some way.

“Dhankss for the food, Levaa…” His eyelids felt heavy.

A grunt was the only answer. [name] slowly began to drift away, dreams taking his mind. His arms rested on the table, letting his face rest on them. The soft silence from the dishwasher lulled him.

This time, Levi didn't say anything else. Instead, he knew he felt a hand caress his hair before shaking his shoulder, but he could be wrong, after all.

“You are asleep already.” Levi’s soft voice sounded far away, even if he was next to him. His strong arm wrapped around his waist, guiding him to the bathroom again.

[name] couldn't open his eyes anymore. His body felt automatic—he just felt Levi’s hands on his mouth, brushing his teeth gently. Did he dream all of this, actually?

He didn’t even remember walking to his bed, but he was already under the covers. Levi’s hand rested on his forehead, and [name] could barely see his usual frown. The sick idiot couldn't help but close his eyes again, but once he opened them again, something cold was resting on his forehead.

Levi said something, but [name] didn't understand.

“That feelss goood…” [name] smiled contently. He chuckled softly. “You are a great nurse, Mr. Levi.”

Levi didn’t like that, since he flicked a finger on [name]’s forehead. [Name] whined, the eyes of betrayal stared at Levi’s face, who glared back. [Name] pouted.

“Not nice…”

“I’m not nice.” Levi changed the cloth to a colder one, by [name]’s relief.

“You are.” He closed his eyes again.

“Not.”

“Just rough sometimes. But you are nice.”

Levi didn’t answer, but it was enough for [name] to look content. A frown formed on Levi’s face while he sat down beside [name]. He took the mug off the nightstand, which [name] didn’t even notice, and waited for the sick idiot to react. “Take a sip.”

“What’s…?”

“Ginger tea. Take. A. Sip.”

[name] chuckled like an idiot while Levi helped him sit down. Levi’s hand on his back and how he helped him take small sips brought him some type of comfort. The feeling of being taken care of was… nice, even if he knew Levi didn’t like the whole idea. Any other type of comfort in his life was Porco; he would be lying if he didn’t feel happy having someone so… caring and trustworthy around him. Knowing he was away made him sad.

“I… don’t waant mooore.”

Levi stopped without much to say, and left the mug in its previous place. He told [name] not to lay down since he could feel like vomiting again. He changed the cloth again before his hand stayed on his forehead to not let the cloth fall down. [name] opened his eyes tiredly to admire Levi. Well, what else could he do?

Levi sure was a handsome man. Or did he confess that to himself because he was not in his right mind? Well, he didn’t admit that out loud…

He felt lightminded; perhaps that’s why he felt bolder to say things.

“You are scary sometimes.” Even though the statement wasn’t a positive thing to say, [name] smiled like an idiot. “Veeeeery scary…”

Levi narrowed his eyes.

“Buut even scary, you look good!”

Levi didn’t react— not openly, at least. “And you look dumb, but that doesn’t give you any favors.”

[Name] chuckled. Levi helped him lay down again.

“I’m sleepy.”

Levi removed the cloth and rested his hand on [name]’s forehead to feel his temperature. [Name] hummed contently as he felt Levi’s cold fingers on his warm skin. Without much thought, he gently moved Levi’s fingers over his closed eyes. He felt more comfort.

“Migraine?” Levi asked.

“Hmn…” [Name] didn’t have more energy to give a detailed answer.

“I left pills on your nightstand.” Levi said, “Take some.”

“No… I’m… tired…” [name]’s eyelids felt heavier, and he couldn’t help closing them.

Levi didn’t like being contradicted, but he kept silent. Perhaps he was tired because of him, or just annoyed. He grunted but didn’t say further. The room fell into silence. Levi stared at [name]’s face, who rested quietly. As he saw nothing else bothering him, he got up and spoke loudly for [name] to hear. [name] opened his eyes tiredly when he got up from the bed.

"It's time for me to go, then." Levi was ready to leave, but he felt something pulling his hand before he began to walk away. He turned his head just to see [name] staring at him with pleading eyes, almost looking like a child scared of the dark.

"Nooo... don't leave me, please," he pleaded. "Stay with me..."

"I can't. Go to sleep."

"But, Levi, I'm scared of being alone... Please, just stay with me this time, pretty pretty please?"

Levi stared, again. With holding hands still, [name] blinked slowly with his long eyelashes, making his plea more "captivating.” Levi wanted to punch his face.

“No.”

“Pretty pleasse…” [name] tightened the grip on his hand.

Levi actually thought about it this time. Perhaps [name] was going to fall asleep, since he looked too tired. “Five minutes.” He answered before sitting down again in the same place, while ignoring how content and happy [name] stupidly looked. Silence filled the room again, but speaking wasn’t necessary for both of them this time.

After such peace, the phone rang. [Name] grunted at the interruption of his sleep, but quickly took the phone before missing the call. The frown that was plastered on his face changed to a soft smile as he answered. Levi narrowed his eyes at such change.

“Hi, Vincent.” [name] replied. “I’m good. Thank you for calling.”

What a good friend.

“It’s fine. Actually, Levi came to—”

Levi snitched the phone out of his hands. Vincent’s voice only fueled his irritation, as his worried questions were heard from the other line.

“What a nice, worried friend you are, Mr. Guard.”

Vincent didn’t answer at first. “Mr. Ackerman, good afternoon.”

Levi could notice Vincent’s change of tone. Well, the feeling was mutual.

“No need for such cute calls for your boyfriend.”

“If I’m worried about him, then I’ll call.”

Levi gritted his teeth. *“*How daring.”

Levi noticed Vincent was going to make a remark, but he shut himself up before spitting it. The ravenette smirked slightly. At least such guard knew who he was talking to. Due to the lack of an answer, Levi kept speaking.

“You asked, he answered. This is all you’ll get.”

Vincent seemed to rile himself up. "He doesn’t—” But Levi hung up before Vincent could finish. He slammed the phone with such force, that made [name] jump at the noise.

Levi stared knives at the phone, not paying attention to [name]’s stare.

“You don’t like Vincent.” [name] looked at him timidly, speaking softly. Levi did look furious at the call— but [name] was sure Vincent wasn’t the type of person to look for problems. What did make Levi so angry?

“Is that a problem for you?”

[name] frowned. It… wasn’t a problem, but he didn’t like seeing his friend— or confidant? being treated so harshly. He knew Levi could see that, but he knew how Levi acted. The people in the asylum could be really… spiteful. Either way, the reflective thoughts only soothed him—he was more than tired. Levi waited, but the question was left unanswered. Instead, it was met with soft snores coming from the idiot.

He had fallen asleep at last.

Levi glared at him—how could he be sleeping so comfortably with him in the room? Leci here, acting like a good guy only fueled his anger. There had to be a reward for this absurdity. He didn’t comprehend his own feelings—their meaning. After all, he hadn’t needed them in a long time, if ever. [name] made him repulsed by such foolish emotions.

How bitter you are.

[Name] didn’t mean to last in that place, but Erwin and four eyes sought any ways to protect him from all evil. Even so, they themselves were worse than the subjects. Levi laughed bitterly internally every time one of them couldn’t hide their desire to possess such a good-for-nothing assistant. He couldn’t understand wholly, but now he saw why. But ‘liking’ him? It wasn’t that. It was something else, but Levi still couldn’t comprehend. He should, soon enough.

Levi glanced at [name], waiting for the moment to move.

And, just when he noticed [Name] fell into a deep slumber, the devil returned.

Levi couldn't stop himself. There was just this urge.

Shifting his body slowly to not interrupt his companion's sleep, facing him. He stared at [name]'s body; how his chest moved according to his breathing, how his lips slightly opened as gentle, barely audible snores came out of his mouth—his long eyelashes, his relaxed, cute expression... only for him to see.

Levi's hand slowly moves under [name]'s shirt, gently caressing his warm stomach. He moved his touch on [name]'s waist this time, grabbing and squeezing part of the flesh not too harshly. The ravenette waited for a response, but just as he was met with silence, he continued his secret exploration in quietness. This time, he rested his head on the crock of [name]'s neck, smelling his scent. His hand explored the flesh a bit more daringly, slowly crawling his way to reach [name]'s chest, the tips of his fingers exploring the flesh cautiously.

This time [name] whimpered softly, his body shivering for one second. The ravenette waited for any other reaction or complaint, but [name] remained in his slumber with a troubled expression adorning his face.

Levi smirked.

What a reward.

#reader insert #male reader #male reader insert #attack on titan x male reader #shingeki no kyojin x male reader #dark themes #triggering themes #non consensual themes #levi x male reader #somnophilia warning #reiss mental asylum

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chelseeebe · 2 years ago

Text

undo.

this is sooo loosely (when i say loosely i mean two lines) based on undo - the 1975 but i loved it and wanted a happy ending for once lol

we’re not doing it again, so leave it.

i could hear you giving her head.. keep dreaming.

summary: a one night stand with your friend could never go to plan, could it?

friends to lovers i suppose, just takes a little bit of jealousy to get there

there was not a chance in hell that you were going to sleep with steve again.

no matter how much he persisted, or tried to charm you into going on a date with him. no way.

it wasn’t even supposed to happen.

a simple movie night in which robin was supposed to join you, had turned into something more.

your friendship group had seemingly already been notified of your encounter and had some choice words for you when you hung out again.

robin, steve’s best friend, was particularly concerned about how the dynamic would now affect the group.

‘i’m just saying, i really like you and i don’t wanna have to take sides in this.. that’s all,’ she holds her hands up.

‘robin, there is no taking sides, there is nothing going on.. it was one time! okay?’ you assure her.

you notice nancy flash a knowing glance at her boyfriend jonathan, but she’s quick to turn back to you and nod, not totally reassured by any of your words.

‘can we just leave it now? it was stupid and a mistake and..’ you’re interrupted by steve waltzing up to your table in the library, that shit-eating-grin on his face.

‘what’s a mistake?’ he asks, taking the empty seat next to yours and immediately shuffling closer.

‘you, apparently,’ robin adds, slumping back in her chair.

‘oh wow, well i am deeply offended,’ steve mocks, turning to you and clasping his heart in a sarcastic gesture.

you roll your eyes, shaking your head as you begin to pack away your books.

steve frowns, grabbing onto your book, ‘you don’t have to leave just because i’m here, yanno?’

‘i’m not,’ you lie, attempting to pull the book out of his grip.

‘then where are you going?’ his fingers still tightly holding on, his eyes staring intently at you.

‘are you my dad? do you need to know?’ you quip back, playing a pathetic game of tug-of-war with your copy of moby dick with steve.

steve cocks his head and grins, ‘i mean.. if you want me to be.’

you yank the book free and tut at his ridiculous comments.

robin stands from the table, ‘i can’t do this.. i’ll catch you losers later,’ shaking her head as she walks out of the library.

nancy grabs onto jonathan’s hand, tugging him up, ‘we’ve gotta go.. look, please sort out whatever is going on between you guys, before this weekend please,’ she pleads.

the group of you had all planned a trip to nancy’s parents holiday home, in celebration of finishing exams. of course, this was all decided before you and steve had had sex and now none of you were prepared for the tension that would now surround the pair of you.

jonathan gives you a small, pitying, smile before being dragged away by nancy. he and nancy has already been a couple before the group had become a thing, so hadn’t experienced the awful shift in dynamic.

‘nice one, steve.. real nice,’ you frown at him, standing from your own seat and swinging your bag over your shoulder.

‘how was any of that my fault?’ brows furrowed in confusion.

you huff and storm away, but you can hear his chair screech and his footsteps following.

‘can you just speak to me.. for five minutes?’ he pants, grabbing onto your arm and stopping you from walking away.

you spin to face him, pulling your arm back, ‘i don’t want to speak about it anymore, it’s done.. okay?’

‘i just.. i don’t understand, so you fuck me and then.. what? that’s it?’ he leers down, towering over you.

‘that’s exactly it,’ you stare back, but his eyes are intimidating and his fingers are still lingering on your skin and you can’t help but remember the way his lips felt on yours.

pulling your gaze away from him and searching the wall behind him for something more interesting.

‘you won’t let me take you out, just once? that’s all i’m asking for here,’ his thumb rubs against your wrist and you can feel his eyes on you.

‘no steve.. leave it,’ shaking your head as you pull away completely and walk off down the hallway.

he was not going to pull you in with his cocky smile and soft brown eyes, you were better than that.

you get a ride with jonathan up to the cabin, nancy in the front and robin sat next to you in the back.

steve had called nancy earlier that morning to let her know he’d be late and would find his own way up.

you’re relieved as you now no longer had to be squished between him and robin for hours, especially knowing that he would be completely relentless in his teasing.

the cabin in question is very quaint, large enough to accommodate all of you although someone was to be confined to the sofa bed in the living room.

it’s a collective decision that steve has to take it as a forfeit for being late.

you’re all sat around in the back garden, the low afternoon sun blaring down on you as jonathan’s boombox blares some pretentious indie rock.

robin hands you a beer and sits back in the chair next to you, none of them had mentioned you and steve and you were incredibly grateful.

you were sure they had just assumed you two had figured it all out, the situation was put to bed.

‘oh look who’s finally arrived!’ robin announces as steve walks through the open back door.

you look up to see him walking towards you with a random girl in tow, hanging onto his arm.

‘hey, sorry i’m late.. i hope you don’t mind, this is tanya..’ he motions towards the girl, who waves at you all, ‘didn’t wanna drive up here all on my own so.. tanya was happy to volunteer to join me.’

it had been a week? two weeks? since you and steve had had sex, and now he was already dating someone else?

you squint at him, choosing to keep your mouth shut in this situation.

steve’s eyes are firmly on you, watching for a reaction, any sort of inkling that you gave a shit, and you were not going to give him that satisfaction.

‘well.. hello tanya,’ nancy politely responds, slightly taken aback by the stranger who was standing in her backyard.

‘you two are on the couch.. punishment for being late,’ robin adds, sipping on the bottle of beer in her hand.

‘that’ll be fine, won’t it?’ he breaks his gaze away from you to look at the girl, who enthusiastically nods back, a sickly smile plastered on her face.

you can feel nancy glance over to you, probably worried that you might say something, anything, to cause an argument.

but you don’t. you slide your sunglasses on and relax back into your chair.

besides, you’d already told steve that you weren’t interested… so why would you care about the pretty girl stood next to him?

you don’t. you tell yourself, although you aren’t sure you fully believe it.

you wake up at some point in the night to a ghastly sound.

a horrible whaling, screechy sound.

it takes you a few moments to adjust, trying to decide whether to grab the baseball bat you had found in the closet and venture out to the source of the sound.

and then you can hear a high-pitched, drawn out, ‘steve,’ come from down the hall and it all makes sense.

you groan, rolling over to try and fall back to sleep but the moaning gets louder and so insanely over-the-top that you have to place the pillow over your head to muffle the sounds.

steve is completely unashamed when robin complains about their little performance, that smug grin on his lips.

‘sorry.. sorry, should’ve given me a room,’ he shrugs before taking a seat next to tanya, placing an arm around her shoulder.

you avoid eye contact, in fact, you don’t speak a word to him all day.

actively avoiding any conversation he was a part of and choosing any place in the house that he was not.

it’s driving him mad. how you won’t even look at him, hell you won’t even acknowledge that he exists.

he glowers at you over dinner, obnoxiously replying to all of your questions, all to no avail.

robin thinks it’s fucking hilarious and can’t help laughing to herself every time you wilfully ignore his answers and move on to the next question.

nancy is desperately trying to hold it all together, this was supposed to be a nice break away for all of you and steve had brought this stranger along and then proceeded to very loudly have sex with her on her parents couch. it was all a bit too much.

jonathan is quite honestly just enjoying himself, watching as his friends fall into chaos around him, quietly observing the insanity.

you all decide to head to bed early, hoping that a fresh start tomorrow would sort everything out.

robin threatens steve before heading to her room, telling him that she’ll actually castrate him herself if she hears anything tonight and you giggle when you get back to your own room.

you’re dozing off until there’s a soft knock at your door and you’re jolted back awake.

you sigh, standing up and padding over to answer the door only to find steve standing on the other side of the wood.

he holds his finger up to his mouth and creeps into the room, gently closing the door behind him.

‘what the fuck are you doing?’ you angrily whisper, frowning at him.

‘why won’t you just speak to me? fuck- you can’t even look at me,’ he hushes, moving towards you.

you back up slightly, moving when he does, ‘i don’t have anything to say to you,’ you hiss.

your heart is pounding, a shirtless steve was the last thing you had expected on the other side of the door.

‘that’s bullshit,’ he continues to edge closer, ‘you’re jealous,’ he smirks.

‘keep dreaming,’ you scoff, backing up into the wooden wall of the building.

‘you are,’ now only inches away, tilting his head to look down at you, ‘look me in the eye and tell me you’re not.’

you swallow, crumbling under the weight of his stare, his eyes drinking in every part of your face.

‘i’m not,’ you lie, chest heaving up and down.

‘liar,’ he says before closing the space between your bodies, pushing your body back against the wall as his hands find themselves on your waist, his lips crashing into yours.

your hands fly up to cup his cheeks, fingers tangling into his messy hair, desperately grasping onto anything you could hold.

the kiss is sloppy, heated as his tongue finds it’s way into your mouth and his fingers toy with the buttons on your pajama shirt.

he pulls back, gasping for breath as he holds onto your waist, waking you backwards towards the bed and collapsing on top of you.

the bed makes an incriminating creaking noise and you widen your eyes up at him, but he just smirks in response, pressing another kiss to your aching lips.

his hands begin to undo the buttons on your shirt, fumbling around and groaning into your mouth when he can’t get the hang of it one handed.

‘shut up,’ you mumble, moving your hand between you to help him with the task, he begins to kiss onto your jaw and down onto your neck.

you successfully unbutton the shirt and shimmy it off of your body beneath him, throwing your head back to allow wider access to your neck.

‘holy shit,’ he breathes into your neck, the hand that was previously struggling, running down your body to tug down the matching shorts you had on.

his lips are still attacking your skin, sucking and nibbling, which would probably leave some kind of mark but you could not have cared less in this moment.

he yanks down his own boxers and moves from your neck to press his forehead against yours, guiding himself into your slick entrance with a low groan.

your mouth falls open, trying with every fibre of your being to not make any noise as he begins to slowly move inside of you.

his eyes watch your face as he licks his lips, keeping a slow rhythm as to not rock the bed though this is all the more frustrating, your fingers tugging on his hair to urge him to move faster.

he moves steady and deep and you have to stifle a moan when he hits your sweet spot, whimpering underneath him as hips slam into yours.

the sound of skin on skin is undeniable, filling the room and you just pray that robin is sound asleep.

his lips lazily connect with yours in an attempt to not grunt as you rock your hips upwards into him, nearing your orgasm.

he pulls back, choosing to move faster as he finds his own orgasm approaching, letting out a throaty moan before your hand leaves his hair and clamps over his mouth.

though you can’t help the sounds of pleasure that escape your mouth when you reach your peak, choosing to burrow your head into his forearm and trembling around him.

‘fuck,’ he groans against your hand, coming inside of you before collapsing into a sweaty mess on the bed next to you.

you swallow, trying to find your breath, truly still coming down from your high.

steve breathes out, turning his head to look at you, disgustingly smug about it all.

‘don’t,’ you whisper, ‘don’t say anything.’

he shakes his head, ‘i wasn’t going to,’ his arm reaches over to pull you into his chest and you don’t fight it instead placing your head onto his still-heaving chest.

he moves the blanket to cover you both and you fall asleep in that exact position, hoping that the walls weren’t as thin as they seemed.

plates clatter in the kitchen and your eyes open, suddenly hyper-aware that you were still holding onto a very-much asleep steve, who most definitely should not be here in your bed.

you sit up and shake him, ‘steve,’ you hiss, ‘you need to get up!’

he groans, squinting at the sudden light, ‘w-what? what’s wrong?’ he says groggily, not sure why you had chosen to so aggressively wake him up.

‘you can’t be in here!’ you whisper loudly, eyes widened.

‘ohh.. oh shit,’ he sits up, realising where exactly he was and who exactly was outside probably wondering where the hell he was.

you look over at the window, ‘climb out the window.. say you went for a walk or some shit.’

‘right.. right yeah,’ he stands up, still disoriented from the sleep and grabs his boxers, sliding them on.

you stand and walk over to help him out of the window, trying to quietly slide it open.

he pauses for a second and grips onto your chin, tilting your head upwards to look at him, ‘see ya’ tonight?’

‘you’re so.. fuck- get out,’ you respond and he bites down onto his bottom lip before clambering out of the window, you close the window and shoo him away.

picking up a hoodie and your discarded shorts and throwing them on, attempting to hide whatever mess he had left on your neck.

you exhale before stepping out of your room, hearing your friends voices echo through the cabin.

‘well hello sleepy head,’ robin says, sitting up straight in her chair.

you smile at her taking a seat at the table, averting your eyes from tanya who was sat in confusion, waiting for the boy that had dragged her here to reappear.

almost on cue, steve stumbles through the front door and into the kitchen, your eyes flit up to him, only to already be met by his own eyes staring back.

you quickly look back to the table as nancy turns around, face screwed up in confusion, ‘where have you been?’

‘oh.. i woke up early and went for a.. walk,’ steve answers, using your excuse.

‘in your boxers?’ robin adds, nodding at his lack of clothing.

‘yes actually, quite refreshing,’ he answers, more confidently as he sits down next to tanya, choosing not to lean into her advances and instead picking up a slice of toast.

‘you’re lucky i don’t have any tools to castrate you here.. you’ve gotta learn how to be fucking quiet dingus.. disgusting,’ robin laughs, throwing a rogue piece of bread at his head.

tanya looks over at steve with a furrowed brow, ‘but we.. we didn’t?’ the cogs slowly turning in her brain.

you stare intently at the table, trying to keep a straight face, still chewing on the bite of toast.

‘must’ve been.. the wind or something,’ steve pats tanya on the knee.

she nods, still not really grasping the situation.

jonathan has already clocked on to what’s happened, eyes flicking between you and steve while nancy slowly comes to the same realisation.

‘what?’ robin looks around at everyone’s expressions when it dawns on her and her face drops, ‘oh my fucking god.’

you close your eyes, slowly chewing on the bread and bracing for whatever robin was going to say next.

‘you have to be fucking kidding me,’ she bursts out laughing, slapping her hand on the table.

‘robin,’ steve warns, glaring at her.

tanya still hasn’t caught on and is sat looking puzzled.

‘no no, steve that is fucking hilarious,’ she continues to laugh, prodding you on the knee, causing you to look up at her.

‘am i missing something? i don’t.. i don’t get it,’ tanya states, shaking her head.

‘why don’t we uh.. have a chat?’ steve stands, placing his hand tenderly on her shoulder.

she follows him out into the living room, utterly puzzled.

nancy stares at you, a small pout on her face. robin is still cracking the fuck up and jonathan just looks bewildered.

‘look.. he came into my room and then.. he just.. it was stupid and.. and,’ you stumble through your words, trying to plead with your group of friends around the table.

‘chill,’ jonathan assures, he could tell that you were flustered and you flash him a small, appreciative smile.

‘so it wasn’t just a one time thing then?’ robin asks, a smile still plastered on her face.

‘well, no but it won’t happen again..’ you can’t even be totally sure that that statement was true.

‘look.. we don’t care, okay? i was worried that i’d have to choose between you and steve, but i don’t think there’s much chance of that happening,’ robin nods at you, her previous scepticism had worn off.

‘clearly there’s something going on there.. you should do what makes you happy,’ nancy shrugs.

you look up at her, appreciating her kind words and their sudden acceptance of whatever the hell was happening between you and steve.

‘but, i do think you should apologise to that girl.. even if she is an obvious tactic to make you jealous,’ nancy puts her hand on the table, giving you that stern, motherly look that she had perfected.

you nod in agreement, trying to stifle your smile.

steve walks back into the kitchen, no longer practically naked, ‘i’m gonna take tanya to the train station.. she said to thank you for having her though.’

you glance up at him but immediately looking away when his dark brown eyes meet yours.

nancy sighs, ‘makes sense..’ her eyes flit to you, ‘go.’

you roll your eyes and stand, walking into the living room where tanya is stuffing her belongings into her bag.

‘hey.. i just.. wanted to say sorry y’know? for.. uh- yeah,’ you speak up, although very awkwardly.

she looks at you, a blank stare on her face, ‘yeah, whatever.’

you purse your lips together, not really expecting much more from the girl and spin to walk back into the kitchen, bumping into steve who was stood watching your interaction.

his hand lands on your arm, ‘we’ll talk.. when i’m back.’

you nod slightly, noting the nearly missable smile on his lips, reciprocating with a tiny grin before moving around him and disappearing back into the kitchen.

‘well, i don’t think we’ll be seeing tanya again,’ you raise your brows, sitting back in your chair.

‘oh nooo,’ robin wails sarcastically.

nancy throws her that trademark glare again but she can’t help the smile creeping onto her face.

you dig into your breakfast properly, only now anxiously awaiting steve’s return. not sure what to even say to him, or what you were even thinking.

you hadn’t really thought about the possibility of you and steve actually becoming more than friends, after you had had sex you’d immediately written off any potential relationship blossoming for the sake of your friends.

but now you’d basically been given the approval from them all, could you do it? give it a real shot?

you’re in the garden sunbathing when steve comes back.

you don’t even notice until his shadow cascades over you and the heat of the sun is obstructed by his body.

you look up, removing your sunglasses and squinting at him.

‘wanna go for a walk?’ he asks, holding out his hand to you.

you sit up properly and nod, taking his hand and standing from the towel laid out on the grass.

he holds onto your hand as he guides you through the house and out of the front door.

‘i think we can get to the lake down here,’ he points to a thin path.

‘did you see that on your walk this morning?’ you joke.

‘ha ha,’ he rolls his eyes, ‘nancy told me about it,’ his fingers intertwined with yours.

‘did uh, did tanya say anything?’ you ask timidly, not really caring about the answer.

‘yeah.. she had a few interesting names for me on the way there,’ he chuckles, leading you down the cobbled path.

‘well.. i hope you apologised for dragging her out here.’

‘i did, i even paid for her train ticket,’ he states as you walk through the clearing in the trees and across the lake.

he slows, finding a shaded spot under a tree and turning to face you fully.

‘so,’ he holds onto your fingers, gazing down at you.

‘so..’

‘i think you already know what i think about you.. and i am totally down to keep having sex with you but i can’t promise that it would ever be just sex.. not for me anyway,’ his fingers squeeze onto yours.

you nod, looking back at him, ‘i don’t.. i don’t want that.’

‘okay..’ his smile falters and his clasp on your fingers loosen.

‘no, i mean.. i don’t want just sex,’ you reply, hoping that he’d understand.

‘oh? so you’ve changed your mind.. like i can take you out?’ the smile reappears on his face.

‘yeah,’ you agree, ‘that’d be nice.’

he grins from ear to ear, taking your other hand into his and squeezing, ‘like really? a proper date?’

‘yes,’ you giggle, ‘don’t ask again because i might change my mind,’ you interlock your fingers with his, pulling his body into yours.

you weren’t sure how this was going to end but you were happy enough to at least give it a shot.

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