#genya didn’t see ANYTHING ok-

[mjtheartist04]

GENYA KISSING RIKA’S BACK SCARS GENTLY AFTER BANDAGING HER UP FROM AN INJURY THEN AND REALIZING WHAT HE DID SUDDENLY AND STUTTERING OUT "J-just to make them feel better-!!" BUT IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE CAUSE THEY WEREN'T WHAT HE WAS BANDAGING I-

[It came to me in a dream when I napped earlier 👁👁]

GIRLY YOU HAVE NO IDEA JUST HOW MUCH YOU MADE MY NIGHT RN-

IM SCREAMING AND GIGGLING AT THIS🫣💖

my girl gonna sit there like- (warning bare back and scars-)

MY GIRL WOULD BE FLABBERGASTED🙌😮‍💨

AND THEY WOULD JUST STAY THERE FOR A GOOD AWKWARD MINUTE IN SILENCE TRYING TO COMPREHEND ON WHAT JUST HAPPENED-😖

[ninapi]

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┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺╚══ Wind Pillar ╝

Premise: A life without the demon corps was just meaningless. Living with a heavy survivor guilt can really eat someone from the inside. That was until a weak light arrived in the most unexpected way possible, breathing life back into his lungs, making him feel needed once more.

Word Count: 5081

Warning: spoilers, the story takes place after the manga’s original timeline.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Shinazugawa Sanemi was not the wind pillar anymore, he wasn’t Genya’s older brother anymore either. There was nobody left in this world that needed him.

After losing his family and dedicating his youth to demon hunting, losing the corps was the final blow for him.

Why was he the only one left?

He should have died if not with his family back in the day he should at least have died defending his brother’s life, Genya should be the one alive right now, not him.

What is the point of being alive when everything you care for was now gone?

He wasn’t particularly good at anything else besides demon hunting, getting a regular job and settling down was definitely not his style. He walked around the neighborhood he used to live in when his family was still alive, the thought of moving back into his old house crossed his mind, maybe do some renovations, hopefully he could drown in his good memories until time would come to give out his last breath.

But the house was now taken by an unknown family. A lot of people lost it all to demons and the destruction they brought with them, it wasn’t uncommon to see abandoned houses here and there, it made sense the house was deemed abandoned, they did leave to never come back.

He had nothing left, not even his old house.

Starting fresh could be encouraging to others, but for Sanemi it was torture.

None of the dojos he visited needed new instructors, majority of them were terrified by his looks alone, if a bunch of guys hitting each other for no apparent reason didn’t want him there what type of job was he supposed to get? It’s not like he was well mannered and literate like Tomioka or had a support network like Tanjiro. What’s the point of being the second strongest pillar if the demons were now all gone.

Sanemi’s lunch was now being given to stray ducks as he had no appetite whatsoever, feeding them was more productive than remaining in such a depressing head space, that’s when an orange rolled in between his feet. He didn’t think much of it, maybe someone dropped it while shopping, but then another orange came rolling next, and then three, making him look back in confusion.

A lone cart full of oranges was coming full speed down a hill with no one pushing it. He had to do something otherwise the villagers could get hurt, he saw small children playing around the area not long ago. Running towards it he was able to stop it before anything major happened, only a few oranges were lost, and the cart was still in good shape. A young woman came running in his direction panting for her life, “Thank you so much, good sir. My cart, it was so heavy, I lost control of it on my way home.”

Not trusting your current strength, he kept on holding the cart, still thinking of the kids running around and how exhausted you looked. “Were you heading down hill?”

“Not really, I was actually supposed to go up the hill behind us, but the cart was heavier than I expected, and it wouldn’t listen to me, so it rolled backwards.” Sanemi stared at said hill with a worrisome expression, that was no hill, that was a full-sized mountain. You were small, looked frail, pale even, little cuts and scars littering your hands. There was no way you could take the cart up that mountain, and it was not like he had anything else to do.

Somehow you reminded him of his mother and how they always needed to help her move heavy stuff around and reach tall places, wanting to help you came out naturally from his heart. “Lead the way.”

“Eh? It’s ok, don’t worry about me. I can take it!” your blushy surprised looking face caused him to scoff, turning the cart around and walking up the first hill. “Like hell you can. Now shut up and tell me where to go.”

“How can I tell you where to go if I shut up?” you were doing your best not to grin at his constipated looking scowl, but instead of teasing him further you just walked beside him in silence. The climb up to your house was steep, but he didn’t even sweat, before you noticed you were now at the entrance of your property, all over way too fast.

“Thank you, good sir. You can leave the cart there I will unload the oranges.” you ran into a small shed, bringing a cloth to wrap them up and bring them all inside. If the cart was heavy, the load was even worse. You couldn’t even lift them from the ground, causing Sanemi to heave a deep sigh. “Don’t you have a husband to help you? Or someone else like a father or brothers? There’s no way you can take all those fucking oranges inside unless you take one at a time and that would take a stupid amount of time.” He grabbed the load with one hand, swinging it over his shoulder like if it weighted nothing, waiting for you to open the door to your abode.

“I do not. My entire family was devoured by a wild beast while I was being treated in a hospice, far from here. Once I regained my strength back, they were all gone. My brother was the one who did all the heavy work around here, my mother and I would pick up the harvest and take care of the animals.” you had a pretty large farm, it wasn’t well tended now but it had several crops still growing and remains of what it used to be an area for livestock. “So, I do most of the work now that I’m alone.”

He knows how uncomfortable sympathetic comments are, so he doesn’t address the information gained, “Why do you even need so many oranges?” a loud thump could be heard as he set them on the kitchen floor, making the wooden floor tremble at the weight. “I was thinking of using them to make some marmalade and sell it at the markets, growing crops is harder than I thought, and I still need to eat, so had to figure something out.”

It was somewhat comforting for Sanemi hearing about the struggles of someone with a similar background. You both couldn’t protect your family, both had to worry about an uncertain future ahead of you. Both had things the other didn’t, but it felt good knowing he wasn’t the only one out there with similar problems.

“Do you like marmalade? I got some bread earlier, come sit down. Let me make you some tea, I still need to thank you for your kindness.” he nodded looking around for a place to sit down, the climb and the lack of food were starting to get to him, it sounded like a good idea.

He never thought making marmalade could be as complex, he had nothing better to do so he just looked at you from where he was sitting. Your hands were so small you needed both of them to stir the mix in the pot, it was amusing. The focus you were putting into making the treat, the tip of your tongue poking out passed your lips in concentration, it was all very eye catching. He’s always admire people that are good at cooking, always wanted to make delicious ohagi for himself, but he wasn’t the best with his hands unless it required brutish strength.

Once the marmalade was ready, you brought it to the small table in front of him, setting down a loaf of bread, a knife and two cups of steaming green tea.

Sanemi thinks back of the last time he was able to relax this way, sad thing really, he hadn’t ever since his mother left this world. Thinking of having afternoon tea without a worry in the world, it’s been over a decade since he had the luxury to do just that.

“Is it good? Do you like it? If you don’t, I can bring out something else.” the expectant look in your eyes made him contemplate what was in his mouth. It was sweet and very refreshing, he’s never had orange marmalade before so he couldn’t really compare it to any other, but he definitely didn’t hate it and wouldn’t mind eating some more. “It’s good, I’m sure it will sell well.” happy with his reply, you tried a bit yourself making mental notes of how to improve it even more.

Teacups were empty, plates clean, it was time for Sanemi to go back to wonder around town, maybe even try to find that one inn he heard about the day before. As he was getting up from his seat heavy rain came pouring down, a loud thunder making you jump. “When it rains this bad around here it takes a while for it to go away; would you like to stay for dinner? Um…sir?”

“Shinazugawa. Shinazugawa Sanemi.”

“Would you like to stay for dinner, Shinazugawa-san? I’m (Y/N) by the way.” he was starting to worry for your well being, you were deliberately letting an unknown man into your house and didn’t even know his name, that was not safe, even without demons around. “Tch, not like I have a choice.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The rain was just not stopping, dinner was done for, and it was pitch black outside, the mountain’s treacherous paths were not places to wonder around in a stormy night like this one, “Shinazugawa-san, how about you stay for the night? You can stay in my brother’s room; I can even lend you some of his clothing so you can take a bath.”

A bath, it’s been days since he took one of those, an alluring offer indeed, but somehow the way you were taking the situation didn’t sit right in his stomach, rage was now bubbling inside his chest at your disregard for your own safety.

“Are you dumb or what? Do you not see me as a man? Hell, you do know you shouldn’t bring men you don’t know into your house, right? Specially not at night.” his angry outburst made you giggle, closing the front door shut to make a statement. “You sound like my brother, he used to say things like that to my mother. I do know you though, you’re the very kind young man that helped a woman in need without asking anything in return, I even know your name now.”

“So what? Is not like I couldn’t just do something to you now that it’s dark, it’s just the two of us here in the mountain, no one would hear if something was to happen, nobody would come even if you screamed for help like a damn pig. Don’t do stupid things like that even if you think you know someone, you don’t know a fucking thing about me.” he was shouting at this point, his fists shacking. He was really a kind man, all he wanted was for you to understand how evil the world out there could be, to others it could be overwhelming to have a figure like him shouting so angrily at them but you could see he was just worried.

“I won’t do it again, Shinazugawa-san, I promise. Now please come with me, I will show you where the bath is.” your attitude and gentle smile were infuriating. All he could think of was how his sweet mother got beaten down by his own father and the men he would bring home sometimes for drinks. How she could barely defend her children and would always ended up hurt, how she had no chance whatsoever to fight stronger men. You wouldn’t be able to defend yourself either, you needed some sense put in that head of yours before it was too late.

He pinned you against the bathroom wall, one of his muscular thighs going in between your legs, rendering you useless against his grip, he was glaring down at you in a strangely attractive way triggering many things within you, except fear, “See how easy it is for me if I wanted to hurt your ass? Take me seriously dammit, take every man fucking seriously, you can’t trust someone you don’t know so easily, it will get you killed.” he let go off your wrists roughly, wanting you to learn your lesson, but one of your hands reached for his, “You have a blister. Let me bring a bandage so we can clean it, it was probably the cart, it tends to do that.”

“No, stop. Why are you acting this way? Are you out of your mind? I could have assaulted you just now, open your eyes woman!”

“But you didn’t. You had more than one chance to do as you pleased with me, but you didn’t. Instead, you ate my food, laughed at my jokes, helped me when no one else did. You are a kind man Shinazugawa-san, wether you want to accept it or not. I’m not stupid, I wouldn’t invite someone over to my house if it could do me some harm.”

Sanemi was speechless. You didn’t consider him dangerous? He couldn’t even get a decent job because everyone would look at him like the killer he is. If there was someone dangerous out there it was him, he could kill you without even trying, in seconds, painfully, he was the second strongest in a chain of the strongest people humanity had to offer. There was something off with your view of the world.

“Now, stay still, I’m going to clean it.” his hand has never been held that way before, of course he’s had his wounds tended to, he’s always needing some patching up after his many battles, but your touch was different, it was so gentle, he could feel how you were really worried about him, about his tiny blister hurting with your touch, like if he was as frail as you were. “You gotta make sure the wound is properly cleaned before you apply bandages, look at yourself, all those scars…I bet they were all so painful…you need proper care if you don’t want them to get infected or leave traces. You tell me to take care of myself but wouldn’t look in a mirror first.”

Nobody talks to him like that, specially not females. The girls of the butterfly state were always scared of him and just looking their way would make them run away. The only active women in his life were his mother and sisters, he never had time to mess around with girls or to get his wounds properly taken care of, there were demons out there that needed to be killed and that’s all that mattered to him back then.

“Are you seriously not afraid of me?”

You looked up into his eyes, staring at him in disbelief, his tone was a lot tamer now you could hear the honest confusion lacing his words, “Why would I? You look tough, that’s true. But I am nobody to judge others. My brother also had many scars from taking care of the farm, even several of his toes were missing from when he stepped on a saw by accident, you’re not the only one around with a couple of fingers missing in this violent era. People used to say he was scary, all big and full of scars, skin tanned by the long hours of working in the fields, but he was a gentle man, always took great care of me and my mother. You strike me as the same type, you don’t feel like someone who would hurt the weak, you feel more like someone that protects them.”

Sanemi was left speechless once more as you left for him to enjoy his bath, you made sure the water was warm enough from the outside, blowing on the fire constantly until you heard him come out. He’s never been able to relax this much, he knew demons weren’t a threat anymore but that didn’t only mean he was unemployed, he didn’t think of what that meant fully until now. No demons meant less danger, meant being able to take his time to live life, to breathe, to relax. It was a strange feeling, not having to worry about someone bursting the door open and slaughtering the woman outside, but it was a good kind of strange.

He felt awfully relaxed that night and after years of nightmares, he was finally able to sleep peacefully.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It’s been three days and the rain just wouldn’t stop. Sanemi had helped you covering the crops so they wouldn’t die out in the rain but there was no sign of it stopping any time soon. It was typhoon season, and it was heavily hitting you this year.

Not only did he help with the crops, but the roof also had holes in it which you two didn’t notice until you woke up to a flooded floor, so he repaired it. Your front door wasn’t safe enough for his liking, so he used his extra time to take care of that as well. He didn’t even notice time was moving this fast and days had gone by. It wasn’t as bad having something to do, keep your mind busy and your body active, regular people life wasn’t as boring and dreadful as he originally thought it was.

There was so much to do around the house that he wondered how you’ve managed to live up here in the mountain by yourself all this time. He got to learn you’ve been living here all alone for a couple of years and you have been doing all you can to not let the farm fall, your determination was admirable and made him question his own future.

“Shinazugawa-san, I enjoy thoroughly having you here, but isn’t your family going to worry? It’s kind of been a while now.” the back of his neck was strangely hot, your comment taking him off guard. He enjoyed the simplicity of the last few days comparing it to the rest of his life, he’s never been able to just sit down and listen to the rain fall on the roof sipping on a hot cup of tea, but he didn’t know you were enjoying it just as much.

“I don’t have a family. They also got killed by a wild beast long time ago, the only brother I had left passed this year, so no, nobody is going to worry about me not returning home, I don’t even have a home.” the stoic look on his face while he was retailing his life tragedy worried you, it’s something he should feel sad for, but he didn’t look sad, he looked angry, and you could understand that feeling, your family was taken away from you in the very same way.

“I bet your brother looked like you.” he wasn’t expecting that, usually people get uncomfortable with the thought of having to empathize with something they can’t understand and start apologizing, but you did go through the same, you stirred the subject around like he usually does when facing the same situation and he was grateful. “Hm, he had less scars than me, was taller, dark hair. But he did kind of look like me.”

“I bet he was kind too.”

“He was.” you were now pouring more tea in his cup, admiring the heavy rainfall through your window. “My brother didn’t look like me at all, he was way kinder, very smart, had the prettiest face I’ve ever seen with beautiful large eyes.” this made Sanemi look at your face, it was difficult to imagine a big muscly guy that looked anything close to the delicate tiny woman in front of him, but then again, he used to see his mother in Genya all the time. “Sounds a lot like you.” blood was flowing at full speed to your cheeks, decorating your lovely face with tinges of reds.

“Sometimes I wish I was the one the beast ate instead of my brother, the farm needs him, he was so good with animals and with the people at the market too, everyone loved him, he was the best of the two of us, it’s a shame really.”

Sanemi was lost in your face, the way your eyes watered at the memory of your brother, the way a soft defeated smile crept on your face signalizing guilt, he felt understood in a very deep level, strangely. “Same. I did all I could to protect my brother, I wanted him to live a normal life, get a wife, have some kids. But he ended up following me around and dying before me anyways. All my efforts were completely useless. I should have died, not him.” his fists were now shaking against the coffee table, veins popping all around his body as a rush of anger and despair rushed through him at the thought of his dying baby brother.

“I’m sure he just wanted to be with his beloved older brother. I used to follow mine around as well, wanted him to teach me how to get milk from the cow and got myself a kick to the face, turns out they get quite stressed if you’re too excited.” the absurdity of it all felt like getting some sort of medication for the illness that consumed his heart, like a serum being injected into his blood stream, cooling his anger down.

“Dumbass.” the sound of your laughter brought new air into the house, a house that is rather quiet all the time was now loud, and it smelled like a proper home.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

After two stormy days more, the sun was finally out. There was a lot of work to do in the fields to fix the damage caused by the storm. Sanemi started working on it as soon as he woke up without even asking you, and it took you both all day, something you thought would take an hour ended up extending throughout the entire day.

He was better at this than he thought he would, you even ended up planting some pumpkin seeds you got from the market a while back upon his suggestion of adding different types off crops. The front of the farm looked like a proper one afterwards bringing a powerful sense of completion to the both of you. It was hard work, but teamwork does really make a difference. And you two made a good team.

The sun was setting, all there was left to do was water the crops and prepare dinner, fresh rice already cooking in a pot inside the house. “Maybe you can grow some berries and do your marmalade using them instead of having to buy oranges, growing orange trees seems like a pain in the ass and there are wild berries in the forest, should be easy to find some and bring them here.” you were giving it serious thought, you’ve never thought about changing the ingredients, you were just replicating the treat your mother used to do for you and your brother when you were little. Being so lost in your head doing ingredient calculations and noting ideas for the recipe, you didn’t see the frog that was comfortably resting on your foot. Once you did though, panic filled your insides, you hated frogs and would always stay as far away as possible from them.

“Shinazugawa-san…there’s…there’s a-“ you looked like you were about to faint so he walked closer to you, spotting the aggressor, “(Y/N) is just a stupid frog, move your foot, it’ll go away on its own.” you shook your head closing your eyes shut, you didn’t want to hurt the poor animal out of your own silly phobia.

Sanemi crouched down to your feet, grabbing the little troublemaker and took it over to the edge of the river near your property. When he came back you were still frozen in place, sweating. “It’s gone now.” You were ridiculous, it was just a tiny frog, you couldn’t even defend yourself against a frog, how were you going to defend yourself against the odds of life. You let out a long-held breath, taking his hands in yours as a token of appreciation, quickly forgetting the hose was in your hand and getting his face completely wet.

“(Y/N)….you little piece of shit….” his face was red, a deep snarl on his face. You threw the hose to the ground and ran for your life, laughing in the process. “I’m so sorry!! Kyaaaaa, how are you this fast!” one step of his was five of yours, he caught up to you in no time and the look on his face was a sight to behold.

He wasn’t angry, his wet hair was sticking onto his face, and he was laughing. He looked way younger this way and it made you feel relived to see he was having as much fun as you did these days. Your hand reached his face, caressing the droplets of water away, a loving smile gracing your lips. He wasn’t sure when things started heading in this direction but he’s never felt that way before and he didn’t hate it.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

There weren’t more excuses for Sanemi to linger around, the rain was gone, the farm cleaned up from the storm, even the marmalade was ready to be sold. He offered to help you with the cart since it was even heavier now that the load had increased.

The idea was for him to take you downtown and then leave and move on with his life, find a job and a place to stay.

But you didn’t even know how to build the display table in the market and then unloading the cart is faster between two people. Then an old lady asked him for three jars of marmalade and by mid afternoon he was still by your side selling your goods.

“Sir, could I convince you and your wife to trade two of your jars for one of my chickens? I don’t have any money left but I would really like to take some home for my kids.” His what- the cloth he was using to clean the table ended up on the floor at her statement, taking him off-guard, you also didn’t say anything to deny it. “What do you think, dear husband? I think it would be a good idea, we could look around and see if we can find her a mate and get eggs from them.” so you were seriously not just going to ignore it but also go along with it-

“Um, yeah. There’s some spare wood in the shed, I could use that to build them a house.” the lady was now handing him the cage with said chicken, waiting anxiously for the last two jars of goodness to be her own.

“You make such a lovely couple; I wish my husband was as understanding and loving as yours. Thank you, my children and I will be forever in your debt, my youngest is celebrating her birthday today, I wanted to bring something special home.” it somehow warmed both of your hearts, you both think of days when you had a large family and how much fun you had eating delicious treats with your siblings, children laughter filling out every corner. “Thank you for your kind words, we’ll take good care of your chicken. I hope you and the children have a lovely evening!” and just like that the marmalade was officially sold out.

“So where do you think we can find Mia’s future husband?” he wasn’t sure how or when you and him became a ‘we’ but he wasn’t mad at how it sounded like and the intentions behind it. “Did you just name the fucking chicken?” he was used to your silly antics by now but it was still very much amusing to him, your quiet giggles confirming he was right. “I saw someone selling some chickens by the entrance, let’s go see if they have one after cleaning up.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Time Skip~

It’s been ten years since Sanemi started coming to this market every morning. He still misses the fun days of demon hunting, but mostly he still misses his brother. Life wasn’t as good to Genya as it was to him, and he still felt guilty from living the life he wanted his brother to have.

Having a permanent stall in the market came with a lot of responsibilities and a lot of hard work, but his strength was put to good use by the smartest person he’s ever met.

“How much for the corn?” Sanemi, who was now cleaning the small worktable looked up to tend his first customer of the day. “If you take two you get one fr- Tomioka???” Giyuu was smirking at him from the other side of the table, a knowing look in his eyes. “That apron looks good on you, Shinazugawa.” Leaving the stall behind, he walked over to his old pillar mate, it’s been years since the last time they saw each other.

“Heard your stupid ass went to live with his old master like a sissy lost baby, near Tanjiro and the gang of brats.”

Some things never change.

“Yeah, it’s been a while, we didn’t even know you were still alive.” the conversation got cut short by a child clinging onto Sanemi’s leg, getting Giyuu’s attention. “Father, mother needs your help unloading the milk crates.”

Crouching down to his size, Giyuu stares into the child's eyes, lost in the memories of his lost friends, painful days of loss came right into his heart, “You look just like your uncle.” patting the child on the head, he smiled, the ghosts of his lost comrades shining behind the toddler. “I know, I was named Genma after uncle, but my hair is like this because of mother, the rest have father’s hair.��� As if on cue you came out of the back with a baby tied to your back, an older looking boy than the one before him holding a sleeping girl in his arms. “Nemi, the milk!”

“I see you’ve been busy.” Sanemi’s face was red as a beet, making him grumble insults quietly for his child not to hear.

“I’ll do it in a second, come here, I want you to meet an old friend of mine.” this was the first time any of them had addressed the love-hate relationship they had in the past as friendship, but now being older they both agree that’s what it was. “Tomioka, this is my wife (Y/N)”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you…and your four children…” the smirk on his face was so sly nobody would notice it but Sanemi, it made him want to punch his guts like he would do back in the day when they were younger.

“Is that your wife over there, Tomioka-san? I see you also have a little one, take some of our milk, our kids love it!” The child looked just like him, it was an easy guess. You were doing your best to move around with a child on your back and a swell on your stomach, a promise of another youngster arriving soon. The woman behind Giyuu came holding his son and after a long chat and bunch of laughter they promised to go to your place for dinner soon.

Ten years ago Sanemi thought he had lost it all.

And he did.

But he made a silent promise to Genya after meeting you, he would live as long as he could, never waste the opportunity to live his brother gave him, never let his sacrifice be in vain, he would live for the both of them, he would bring life to this world and protect it the way he couldn’t protect his siblings, he would protect his family until his last breath and once that moment comes and he gets to see him again, he will have many stories to share as they embrace eternity together, as family.

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Tagged babes: @doumadono

Masterlist Bonus Chapter

[demonslayerunhinged]

Do you think Sanemi kept tabs on Genya while he was in the Corps? Like before Genya even joined? Sanemi tells Genya he’d ensure no demon would head his way in Infinity Castle, and the light novel I remember it saying along the lines of “he’d short commit murder if Genya said he’d join the Corps.” I know they never spoke upon the years separated from each other from Sanemi distancing himself, but I’d imagine he’d keep an eye on him to ensure that, right (although it obviously didn’t work since Genya joined anyway lol)? With how Genya thought he despised him, Sanemi probably didn’t send money or anything to Genya either (which I guess wouldn’t make sense in the long run.) Anyway, I just wanted your thoughts on this if it’s alright to ask! Sorry if this is long 😅

Additional thought - Do you think Masachika knew about Genya (since in the light novel we do know Sanemi told him about his mom and other siblings)?

Hiiiii! Thanks so much for your questions!

One of my criticisms about Demon Slayer are the information gaps we have regarding some characters. I think because Gotogue-sensei was in a rush to finish the novel because she had to go back to her hometown, she skipped a few things.

Yea, Genya and Sanemi's backstory is one of those gaps. Just like you said, we're never told if Sanemi was keeping tabs on Genya while he was in the Corps. In fact, we're never even told how the brothers survived after the death of their family.

Sanemi mentions going on a demon-killing rampage, but he never said anything about Genya. Where was Genya? How did he keep tabs on him? Where did they live? Did Sanemi just abandon Genya? Did he stay with a relative? What about the bodies of their siblings? How did their neighbors react?

I have a theory. Long post incominggggg!

I think Sanemi was driven out of the town and Genya was taken in by someone. Think about it, the people in the neighborhood would've heard the commotion, just to come out and see a boy brandishing a cleaver, the children in the house dead and the only surviving child yelling 'monster!'. Of course, they would think that this boy massacred his family and probably his mom too and Genya might have not been able to say anything coherent due to the trauma.

So Genya would have been taken in by a neighbor and Sanemi would be driven out. Sanemi would spend the next few years homeless, killing demons and keeping tabs on Genya to make sure he was ok. Then he encountered Masachika who got to know Sanemi's story and by extension about Genya (It's actually in the light novels, so this is canon).

During this time, I think Genya encountered a demon that was killed by a Demon Slayer and this encounter introduced him to the concept of demons, made him revisit the memories of that night and realize that his mom was a demon, and it was she that attacked his siblings and Sanemi was only trying to save him.

With this realization, he becomes tearful, breaks down and tells the slayer his story. The slayer asks for his name.

"Shinazugawa?" said the slayer, "Is your brother by any chance named Sanemi?"

Genya looks up at the slayer, his eyes filling with tears. "Yes! Yes he is!" he stands up and grabs the slayer's uniform in desperation. "Do you know him?! Where is he?!"

The slayer carefully unwraps Genya's fists from his uniform, he isn't annoyed. He knows that the poor boy is just desperate.

"Yes, he's a demon slayer just like me?"

"Where can I meet him?"

"I don't think you would be able to" said the slayer, "Because of our job we tend to move around a lot."

Genya drops to the ground and adopts a dogeza pose. "Please." he said through tears, "Please help me, I need to find him....how can I find him....please"

The slayer took pity on him, almost driven to tears by the pitiful sight. He coaxes Genya off the ground and wipes off the poor boy's tears.

"Okay" said the slayer, "If you want to see your brother, this is what you'll have to do."

The slayer then told him about the Demon Slayer Corps, the process of becoming a proper slayer and the final selection.

"In fact" said the slayer with a sad smile, "There's a selection happening soon. I'll tell you where to go."

Genya leaves the family he's staying with, telling them about his plans to find Sanemi. The family's like, "Aiit, see ya."

Sanemi comes over to check up on Genya as usual, but he sees that he's nowhere to be found. He panics and asks one of the family members, who tells him.

"The boy left, saying he's going to go join some Corps or something."

Sanemi eyes widened in horror. He goes to the Master, who informs him that Genya is indeed part of the selection. Sanemi panics, but he knows can't go interrupt the Selection and pull Genya out, so he waits and hopes his little brother makes it out okay.

During his wait, he then went on that mission where Masachika died, and after he finds out from his crow that Genya passed the selection. On one hand, he's relieved and glad that his little brother survived, but on the other now that Genya is part of the corps he can't guarantee his safety unlike when he was with his adoptive family.

He can't fathom losing Genya like he lost his other siblings. He can't explain this to Genya because 'men' but even if he does, there's no guarantee that Genya would listen, after all they made a pact to stick together. So, he decides the best way would be to be as horrible to Genya as possible, to basically become the monster his brother accused him of being all those years ago.

Then Genya meets Gyomei, promptly receiving the slap that changed his life.

Hope this sort of answers your question :)

[xxlady-lunaxx]

im bored so uhm have this sngy AU im brainstorming (jk i forgot about, i wrote this like 2 weeks ago yet only remembered when scrolling thru my writing) btw its just like the plot or whatever cuz most of it is supposed to be developing their relationship but i like being vague about that when writing the overall summary 😃 also i wrote this with the intention of only me seeing it so if there’s anything silly no you didnt — im kinda trying to incorporate the regular AU into this AU (which i do often lmfao) so some things are jsut me flailing around trying to make it pass off as natural

so like a song turned on when i was in the car today (2 weeks ago) and then i got this whole ass idea from it 😭

So! SaneGiyuu, modern AU.

Sanemi’s hometown was struck by a sickness that spread like a plague (ok it kinda was). Most of his family got it, except Genya and Sanemi. Wanting the two to have a chance, Shizu (the shinazugawa mother) gave Sanemi instructions and access to her bank account then sent him and Genya off to find a small apartment until hopefully the others recovered. Around this time, Sanemi had recently turned 18 (so it was winter when the family fell sick) and Genya was 13. Unfortunately, of course, the other Shinazugawa’s didn’t make it and Sanemi got a letter from some of the other villagers about this. Following the tragedy, Genya and Sanemi had to make a life for themselves. Obviously it was going to be hard and they were barely going off of what money they had left from Shizu. Sanemi ended up having to quit school so he could find a job, but he encouraged Genya to keep going, promising to help him along the way. Sanemi found a pretty solid job eventually, but as summer rolled by and Genya was out of school, he needed someone to care for him. Which is where Giyuu comes into the story!

Giyuu was living with Sabito—his childhood best friend—half renting half just being a roommate, struggling between university and trying to find a job. He (and Sanemi) were 20 by now. Tsutako had moved away some time ago with her husband and Giyuu wasn’t able to support their apartment by himself, so he had moved in with Sabito (who had assured Tsutako he would ‘take care of Giyuu’). Sabito also went to uni with Giyuu but, of course, had his own life. Giyuu was having trouble finding a job but he came across Sanemi one day, who spoke of needing someone to care for his younger brother while he was out working. Giyuu offered immediately to help and Sanemi was ever the grateful for it, hiring him as a babysitter. As it turned out, all Giyuu needed to do was be there and make sure Genya didn’t do anything stupid because Genya wasn’t of age yet and needed caring for. So Giyuu went on with school/finding small jobs here and there.

As time flew on, he became closer to the Shinazugawa’s. At one point he had fallen asleep doing some of his schoolwork while watching over Genya. Next thing he knew, Sanemi was shaking him awake. Sanemi was very forgiving about him falling asleep ‘on the job,’ and said Genya behaved anyway. Then he pointed out the homework Giyuu had been doing. As it turned out, Sanemi wasn’t going to school and had dropped out to support himself and Genya. Of course, if he had any other choice he would’ve stayed in school. So he requested Giyuu to give him some lessons—like tutoring—just so he could learn more. He promised to pay Giyuu double what he was already paying him so, of course, Giyuu accepted—rushing home and asking Sabito how to teach someone later.

Giyuu and Sanemi’s relationship progressed and they started referring to themselves as friends, even inviting each other over just for idle talk when they found the time. Sanemi probably started catching feelings first, touched by Giyuu’s willingness to help (whether or not it was for the money), and just finding it refreshing to have a friend. After leaving his village, Sanemi would’ve left his friends as well (Masachika?) and then he wouldn’t have anytime for things he deemed unimportant like friendship—though he did everything he could to make sure Genya had all the friends and freedom he wanted. So having someone just being there for him and actually helping him so much, both as a sort of job and just because he could? Sanemi definitely found himself drawn towards Giyuu, and it was more than just his lack of social life.

Giyuu took a little longer to come to terms with his feelings, which could be interpreted as falling for Sanemi a while after in one light. Most likely he had thought Sanemi as a ‘compelling individual’ but nothing more than a friend—at least consciously. He hadn’t thought about feeling romantic feelings towards Sanemi, simply because he had never come to terms with the fact that he was gay. In most of his life, Giyuu had tried forcing female love interests onto himself, confused about why he never seemed to like anyone. Tsutako had never been homophobic, of course, she was probably bisexual anyway, but the topic had never surfaced and therefore Giyuu was mostly sheltered from anything more than male/female couples. He never understood crushes so, expectedly, when he gained feelings for Sanemi, he ignored all the signs and called it close friendship.

However. Sanemi confessed to Giyuu almost a year after they had met. It would be summer, now, and the two had aged another year (both 21 and Genya at 16.) Giyuu was stunned silent but this is what got the little silly cogs working in his brain and he began the quick ascent towards coming to realizing that he actually liked Sanemi. Given that he’d never known he’d liked anyone before, Giyuu was obviously reluctant to get in a relationship now. But Sanemi was so sweet and forgiving with him that he wanted to try it out and then confessed to Sanemi, hoping the feelings were still reciprocated (and they were!)

And uh pretty much the end. Happy ever after ✨ (and sabito like: wtf are you getting a job or boyfriend.)

little extra! sabito and giyuu met through Urokodaki who was a daycare teacher and had adopted Sabito. The two had been practically inseparable since then.

[kozmicmizuu]

ok- soooo… my brain thought of smth a tiny bit fucked but the i remembered this is kny and atla so it’s ok to be fucked. so, in the series water benders are like- not really in the war, but they were basically taken from the south tribe for war reasons. the angst in my brain is that the southern tribe in this au is where urokodaki would train all of this students (yes, the past dead ones are alive in this) and then the demons attacked (they’re basically the fire nation in this).

(also in this au in my take (you can see how you’d like) the demons aren’t really demons. they’re human, but they use this fucked up branch or rather a “weed” of the breath-bending that’s the equivalent of dark magic basically.)

they just took everyone with no remorse for anything, and then they found out that water’s conductive. sooooo- torture via electricity was used to make the water benders weapons of war!!! yay!!

giyuu was considered one of the best in the small tribe (i think between him, sabito, and makomo, giyuu was the one to completely master water breathing and well- survived canon). shock collars were obviously used- cause this is demons we’re talking about.

giyuu and basically all of the tribe were just abused for years (lets use giyuu’s age as a reference). the tribe was taken when giyuu was 8- the controlling and abuse didn’t stop until giyuu was 19. basically instead of him finding tanjiro, tanjiro found him.

you can only imagine how just aggressive giyuu was, a major contrast to his usual calm and stoic personality. tanjiro probably couldn’t even get close without giyuu being violent so he called for backup from the corps/friends. let’s say that sanemi and shinobu and kyojuro were sent there (sanemi was there in case of a fight.) to say that giyuu’s condition was worrying would be an understatement.

literally every single water breather was fucked- they needed the moon for spiritual healing but we’re never given the chance to see it for god knows how long, barely any food or water. kyojuro probably threw up when he saw kids in there. sanemi was just pissed about this, a whole ass tribe was ignored by the world. also don’t worry, literally no one is dead from the water tribe. but idk of that’s a good thing tbh….

it took them literally forever to get giyuu to trust them, like trying to tame a wild animal. but the simplest thing is what got literally the whole tribe to trust them, the promise of seeing the moon and sea again. tanjiro was just happy to see the southern tribe from the stories, but so sad that they were like this for 11 years. the moment they even opened the door for the tribe- it was literally like setting caged birds free. though urokodaki was the one who told the four, “thank you” and followed his students into the beach on a full moon.

also the shock collars took some time to remove, no one really sat still at all, or some stood unnervingly still. shinobu knew that it would them literal years to recover from all of that trauma, potentially a whole lifetime. kyojuro probably sobbed his sweet little heart out when he saw them so happy on the beach (emotional bitch), sanemi was still fuming, mf was READY to put an end to this war. he just imagined genya in this situation and was like “no i im not letting this slide” and proceeded to sink the entire fleet that did this to the tribe (W sanemi).

sighhhh this thought happens from remembering the episode of when katara found another water bender from the southern tribe (holy fuck i can’t remember the name) and she ended up being fucked in the head after all.

so, does that mean giyuu can be feral and deranged when he’s completely ticked off?? yes, more feral giyuu content for the starving people. he’d be so much more intense with any threat (maybe like when azula was going a bit silly) but after the threat is gone he’s just “woopsie daisies my bad yall”

they ended up taking the tribe to the corps and basically giving them a safe place to heal and relax. gyomei ended up being good friends with a lot of them because water benders are very sweet to him and the kids thought he was cool (a little scary at first). giyuu, bless his soul, was found by tengen immediately. mf knew he HAD to befriend this guy, sabito wasn’t having it tho so know there’s sabito and tengen beef.

anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk about this fucked up lil thing… i’m not okay because i started typing this out at 8 in the morning…

[kny-agere]

hi! do you think you could please write a little muichiro and caregiver genya drabble? i cant think of anything super specific, so maybe mui is crying and genya comforts him? whatever you think fits, yk? id love to see what u come up with! :)

feel free to get to this whenever! or if u dont feel like writing it, thats ok too! your work is truly amazing!! :3 /gen

Thank youuu omg!! you are so sweet ily :) Hope uou enjoy this

★彡☆彡★彡

Genya, as much as he wanted to love all aspects of Muichiro, struggled to care for the boy. He felt too awkward, often fumbling with simple tasks like cradling Tokito or laying him down to rest. After so many years of being in Demon Slayer the gentler parts of himself had been left behind. While he tried to insist that someone else could do a better job, one of the hashira or even Tanjiro, he was rebuffed. Muichiro insisted that he trusted Genya to do this.

The compromise was that the older man could sit and watch while Tokito played by himself. On some days if he felt particularly confident he would approach him softly and offer a bit more attention. Genya always felt flustered in a way that was unfamiliar to his unusual anxiety. Though he was generally softer than before, when regressed Tokito got even more gentle. He felt like he was too harsh for any of that.

But watching him was still nice. Muichiro smiled a lot more now. His movements weren’t strung with the usual gracefulness of a hashira.

Today he seemed a little tired maybe. Genya thought it was hard to tell. He thought about asking the boy several times, pushing himself back each time. Just sitting on the couch felt too awkward now.

When Tokito rebuilt and knocked down the same tower for the third time in a row Genya finally moved forward. He was hesitant still, and stopped a few feet away. “Are you doin’ ok? You seem, ah- tired.” The man cringes when his voice sounds so rough. He can’t manage a softer tone even if he tried.

“ ‘m fine.” Muichiro’s words are clipped and short. He says it in a very much not fine tone. When Genya tries to view him Tokito shifts subtly.

“Well I can talk if you want…”

“I don’t want to.” Tokito sounded almost as harsh as he had when he was stricken with amnesia. It was a stark shift from his current typical attitude.

After his mouth opened and shut a few times Genya tool a knee next to his friend. He’s still faced with Muichiro’s back. It’s a bit of an awkward pause while he searches for any words to say.

Apparently he takes too long to gather a response. Muichiro tosses the block across the room, where it leaves a large crack in the wall. “Go away!” He still refuses to turn around at all. Fists slam into the ground several times.

The older man is still frozen. Mouth half open he settles back onto his ass. When Tokito lets out another angry grunt Genya is prompted to move. Muichiro allows him to draw close and settle a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Hey I’m sorry. Are you ok?”

Angry tears come out from the corner of his eyes. The beautiful teal irises are surrounded by a slight red tinge. “I’m sorry too. I-I didn’t mean ta yell.” He still can’t manage to look the other man in the eye.

“Oh well, it’s fine I guess.”

He lets out a weird little mewl, something that’s not quite a sob. “Can I please-“ Tokito reaches for Genya. As soon as he leans towards the older man warm arms wrap around him.

Genya pets his hair awkwardly, grimacing whenever his fingers get interrupted by a small tangle. “S-sorry, um, what’s wrong?”

Another sniffle. “It’s stupid.”

“I don’t care- or I mean that it’s probably not stupid.”

Muichiro looks at the floor. He leans against the man’s chest and tries to stabilize his breathing. “I just, um, I wish you would take care of me more. But you said you didn’t want that, so it’s fine. It’s not your problem to deal with.” He keeps scrubbing at his eyes until the insides are sore.

“I don’t mind it.” His answer is a bit surprising. “But I’m not very good at this kinda sh- stuff, y’know?” Is it appropriate to swear? Muichiro does often, but not in this state. “You could probably find someone better.”

Tokito lets out another frustrated huff. “Stop saying things like that! I told you I don’t care. I jus’ like being with you.” He tugs at Genya’s shirt while also trying to curl in closer.

“Right, sorry.” The older man is still stuck doing the repetitive motions through his hair. “Maybe I can try, uh- sittin’ closer or something. I dunno it’s whatever.”

“You don’t have to.” Tokito wilts like he’s forced Genya into this. “I didn’t mean ta cry. It’s fine.”

“I want to, ok? I like being there for you.” Muichuro’s been alone for far too long. He doesn’t know if the boy is bothered by it, but it still makes Genya happy to see him with company. Little fingers worm closer to his sides.

“Thank you.”

[livvyofthelake]

speak now taylor’s version as a grishaverse concept album: a post.

mine. at first i was like. this is a kanej song… and then i was like no it’s too sweet for kanej this is a wesper song. and i stand by that. you made a rebel if a careless man’s careful. son. i guess. whatever

sparks fly. now THIS is kanej!! and you stood there in front of me just close enough to touch!! close enough to hope you couldn’t see what i was thinking of!!!

back to december. genya about alina for real…. genya goes back to december all the time…. wishing she realized what she had when alina was hers….. whatEVER though.

speak now. mal!!!!! can be him about alina marrying blondie for political reasons or about alina being close to the darkling that time he came to the little palace to report on the stag. he is a jealous bitch!! we love it

dear john. do i even need to say it. literally alina about the darkling. he’s an expert at sorry and keeping lines blurry never impressed by her aceing his tests. he’ll add her name to a long list of traitors who don’t understand and she’ll look back and regret she ignored when they said run as fast as you can. don’t you think she was too young to be messed with. she stole his matches before fire could catch her so don’t look now she’s shining like fireworks over his sad empty town!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he needs to kill himself

mean. he would hate me saying this but. kaz about pekka rollins…. someday i’ll be living in a big old city and all you’re ever gonna be is mean!!!

the story of us. veryyyy kanej. tbh. um you held your pride like you should have held me. why are we pretending this is nothing. she’s standing alone in a crowded room and they’re not speaking. the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now….. I WOULD LAT MY ARMOR DOWN IF YOU SAY YOU’D RATHER LOVE THAN FIGHT. so many things that you wish i knew but the story of us might be ending soon!!!!!! i don’t even care that much whatever.

never grow up. ok well like fuck this song first of all. cried. idk why i thought i wouldn’t like girl you KNOW you’re in an emotionally vulnerable place rn jesus. this one defies blorboification because it’s so crazy but also it’s about alina in the sense that alina is also about me. ok sorry that when i saw alina finally get to the little palace and her new room completely alien to her with nothing familiar but the scars on her body and she’s finally alone for the first time since everything changed overnight and she just immediately breaks down sobbing crying keeling over i immediately was like ummmm she’s gonna be huge for me rn and then i cried so hard i almost threw up and now i’m here. ok. well whatever. you know how sometimes you go to a family reunion and you see your cousin who got married when you were in third grade and you wore a pink tie die sundress and matching pink flip flops and the reception was in a cool barn with little lights all around and there was a weird decorative edible flower on your plate at dinner that you didn’t eat because you were 8 and you thought that was weird and your cousin (the one who just got married) wanted to dance with you and you were 8 so you didn’t want to and you still kinda feel bad about the fact that you were in a bad mood at a wedding when you were 8 but you can’t really do anything about it now and anyway that’s hardly the point if anything because he’s got two daughters now and the youngest is only 5 and she has the same little haircut you had when you were a kid and the same blue eyes and the same shy demeanor and she’s wearing the cutest pink outfit and you just want to cry when you look at her and then your cousin asks you if you would paint her nails because she hasn’t been playing with the other kids there that much and she feels left out and she liked your nails and so you do it and her hands are so little because she’s only five and she’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your life and she reminds you of yourself way too much and you just want to cry because you were also the kid at the family reunion that didn’t really get included in playing with the other kids but now you can look at her and do something nice for her and smile at her and be someone for her that no one was for you and like i’m so fucking normal guys i’m not even crying at all lol. lmao even. fuck you taylor

enchanted. ok well. genyalina. what if i said i thought genya helped stop alina from communicating with mal in part because she was jealous that alina loved him.

better than revenge. alina core. she hates women sometimes but don’t worry it’s just because she’s gay and doesn’t know. anyway her about zoya but like literally nothing happened she’s just insane <3

innocent. i’m going to be honest i have never heard this song in full and i’m not about to start now. who cares

haunted. kanej!!!! they walk a fragile line….

last kiss. well i’m not qualified to speak on this but i imagine when mal and alina had to separate in the show this is them. again. i don’t know what i’m saying. anyway it’s also nina and matthias i guess but who cares about them

long live. it was not within me to listen to this tonight but like i know the song and it’s about alina……….. also the crows….. (actually this song has always been about my friends the pevensies but we are making this a grishaverse concept album tonight and we aren’t talking about them rn. but just letting you know there is a deeper priority here. peace and love)

ours. malina!!!!!! don’t you worry your pretty little mind people throw rocks at things that shine and life makes love look hard the stakes are high the waters rough but this love is ours!!!! 🫶🫶🫶🫶

superman. mal…. go save the world i’ll be around…. etc.

electric touch. MAL AND ALINA. HER ELECTRIC TOUCH COULD FILL THIS GHOST TOWN UP WITH LIFE. also it’s kinda lucie and jesse core but we’re not talking about that rn. also i guess it could be a jesper and wylan song but like. alina literally has an electric touch. in a way.

when emma falls in love. nina is soooo emma…. inej is the narrator also

i can see you. this is so kanej i could throw up. i didn’t even finish the song it was too much but just trust me it’s kanej

castles crumbling. ALINAAAAAAAAA

foolish one. oh this one’s EASY. book wylan about jesper and also show inej about kaz. duh. except the bridge which is about blondie wanting to fuck mal so bad it makes him look stupid.

timeless. first of all this is so loved you before by peach prc core. secondly malina core. thirdly beronica core frankly. whatever.

also if if this was a movie was on the correct album i would be saying it was about malina i guess but taylor decided to be ultra lame.

[tanjir0se]

Ok I have to work tonight and tomorrow but since my job involves mostly sitting around and staring at the wall lately I can actually maybe do some plot for this modern AU:

Giyu is a newly graduated and just took his first job (gym coach) out of college and needs a roommate.

Kyo graduated a year prior from a different university and has worked as the history teacher for a year now. Beloved by all the kids, of course. He also has been trying to move out of his father’s house for a while. He meets Giyu on his first day and essentially by the end of the day Kyo is planning on moving in with him.

Oh my god they were roommates dot gif

Tengen went to the same Uni as Kyo but was a junior when he was a freshman. No one is certain if he has his teaching license and he was just the substitute art teacher for a while. But Kyo vouches for him and the kids all love him (and keep doing really well on exams despite his…unconventional methods) so the school keeps him around.

Shinobu has been the health and biology teacher for two years now. Went to the same university as Giyu but was two years ahead of him, and they didn’t really know each other. The students love and fear her.

Gyomei has been the world religions teacher for like four years. He’s friendly but doesn’t really talk to the others unless forced to. There’s a lot of shenanigans there that he’s too old to put up with, and he mostly has his hands full with his student.

Obanai and Mitsuri are still in university on their work studies doing student teaching at the school. (Poli Sci and art history, respectively). Muichiro studies with them taking college classes at their university because he skipped like four years of school, but he doesn’t student teach and everyone sees him more as a student than anything.

Genya and Kanao are part of an advanced studies program where they shadow a teacher. Genya was placed with Gyomei because he’s. Well, he’s Like That™ and the school felt he needed a …calming presence in his life

SANEMI. I literally cannot imagine him being a teacher lmfao (except math bc math is hard and scary and Sanemi is also scary). He barely passed college and worked odd jobs for the past few years until the principal offered him a job as a math teacher. And he was like yeah sure I can do math. All the kids are scared of him and no one is quite sure how to get on his good side but Tanjiro is gonna figure it out one of these days.

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Shadow and Bone 2x05 Review

Ok going to be honest this might be the episode where they lost me. The first 4 episode I thought were pretty solid and I enjoyed them but this one I don’t know why but I just didn’t enjoy it as much. It felt rushed but also felt like it dragged which I know is a bit of a oxymoron but there we go. I also feel like not a lot really happened. But anyway best to get into it, there will spoilers any book spoilers will be between two *. 

The Crows 

The crows whole mission this episode was getting the sword in shu han. However there was also alot of tension between them all, last episode Kaz kicked Inej out of the crew so there is the fallout from that. He also doesn’t tell her about the new job, I did think it was funny though when Nina says that Kaz would rather push Inej away than admit he feels anything for her and then questions whether she was supposed to say that out loud. Then Jesper puts his foot in his mouth with Wylan when its revealed he can’t read and this is clearly something he feels ashamed off, Jesper spends most of the episode trying to mend that yet somehow keeps making it worse. I did like the scene where Wylan calls Jesper out for trying to tell him how to feel about his shame whilst he himself is hiding that he is grisha. 

I did like the conversation between Nina and Zoya. It’s clear Zoya believes that Nina has abandoned her country and has dome resentment towards her for that. What is interesting is the line about Fjerdans burning grisha and how ‘you can’t unlearn that kind of hatred.’ I do think you could apply this to ravka and otkazat’sya views of grisha, at the moment Nikolai and Alina have this whole lets unite otkazat’sya and grisha and that once the fold is gone there’ll be no reason to hate the grisha but they have forgotten that unlearning the hatred otkazat’sya have for grisha is not going to be easy. I don’t really agree with Zoya’s statement that hate can’t be unlearnt, I think it can, as nina and matthais showed, but I think it is incredibly difficult especially if you’re talking about a mass group of people. It’s going to be easy to turn one persons opinion but very difficult to turn an entire nations. But this scene did make me feel really bad for Nina especially when she is talking about her and matthias choosing each other and choosing to be free together but then Zoya pointing out that now Matthias is in hellgate and nina has abandoned her country and asking if it was worth it, seeing that tear come down Nina’s face was really sad.  

We also learn where Kaz gets his touch aversion from and it makes perfect sense, I too would never want to be touched again my life if I had gone through that trauma. That scene in the teashop when Kaz starts to have the panic attack and Nina unknowingly touches his hand was really intense, but I do love that Inej saves him and gets him out of the situation and says that she couldn’t leave him. I mean Kaz and Inej are having some really great scenes this season. 

Darklina 

I feel like both Alina and Aleks become more unhinged in this episode. Alina in particular is starting to spiral a bit. She can’t find mal, she is seeing the aftermath of Aleks’ attack and poor Adrik does lose his arm, she is reunited with Genya and Baghra and has learnt what Aleks has done to them and all of this is clearly having a deep effect on Alina who is starting to act erratic. Meanwhile Aleks finds out that Baghra and Genya have escaped and that all the experiments were destroyed so that hasn’t put him in the best of moods. But what’s interesting is again like when he had an angry outburst after finding out the journal was missing, when he feels his anger rising here he once again reaches through their connection so he can see Alina, I really do think that he is using her as a sort of anchor to reign in these feelings of anger, she is what calms him and helps him regain control.

Then we have the mind palace scene between them where Alina is looking to sever the link between them. This scene was really intriguing to me because its kind of like the tables have turned and here we have Alina manipulating Aleks, I mean it was clear the she was manipulating him and honestly I think he did know that and you can see his wariness, her change of mind came too quickly for it to be real and he knows that. But I think at the same time she is saying all the things he has ever wanted to hear from her. Also I do think whilst she is trying to manipulate him what she is saying is true, its all the things she has denied up until now and I do think most of what she says is how she really feels. Like when she tells him he was the first person to see who she really was, what she was truly capable of. She was telling the truth here and she confirms as much later when she is talking with Baghra and says that he was the first one to show her that she wasn’t just a weak stick from Keramzin, that he showed her she was meant for more and honestly that scene she has with Baghra was heartbreaking because it really did highlight all the insecurities she had about herself before meeting Aleks and how he made her feel special and like she could be something but also how him then betraying her had such a deep effect on her and how she is struggling with that. 

Another thing she says that I think is true and something she has been in denial about is how mal doesn’t understand the power that is growing within her, this is shown in their argument right after this scene where he admits that she’s just been barrelling towards her goal of saving ravka and hunting the amplifiers and he’s just been trying to keep up. 

Alina does change tactics during the scene when she says its not all about power, she turns from talking about how a like they are to full on seduction mode. It once again reminded me of just how much chemistry these guys have, like you could feel the want between them. We also got Aleks saying the ‘wanting makes us weak’ line. The way when she stroked his cheek he leant into her touch and closed his eyes. I think a part of him was still wary that this was a manipulation but also he couldn’t help but react to her touch. 

So as I said I do think that Alina was being truthful in this scene, but its interesting because its essentially a tactic she learnt from Aleks, its the same thing he did to her in season 1, manipulate not with lies but with the truth. Alina hides her true intentions behind that truth she is telling him. 

*One scene I did hate though was when Aleks says the line ‘the whole world will hear it when I make her scream.’ The reason I hate it is because its nearly identical to a line from the second book that the Darkling says to Mal. Only hear they have completely changed the meaning and tone of it. In the books it is very much an innuendo and it happens right after Mal reacts with jealously to seeing the darkling saving Alina from tripping. LB even confirmed that it was an innuendo in an interview she did. But here they’ve twisted it into something violent and hateful. Which as a darklina and a book reader who found humour in that scene, as you were supposed to, I am really disappointed the added the line but in this way. I would have preferred they had left it out.* 

Genya and David

 Oh poor Genya she really had an emotional episode. I hated that she felt the need to hide from david. But I did like the scene where she confronted the Queen and told her how she was able to poison the King. I also liked how Nikolai took his mother to task and held her accountable for the part she played in what happened to Genya. As Nikolai said Genya was under the Queen’s protection and the Queen turned a blind eye and even thought it was acceptable because he was her king and genya was just a servant. But the Queen was supposed to mother to all ravkans and yet she failed in that task. 

 I loved the speech david gave to genya though about how her beauty is her armour and how it was fragile and for show but what was inside her was steel. Which is unbreakable and doesn’t need fixing. Just the whole speech was beautiful. And then Genya saying that she was able to find them because she sort out familiar heartbeats was the cherry on top. Honestly the whole scene I am not ashamed to admit brought tears to my eyes.   

So this was one of my shorter reviews but honestly I feel like this episode was just pairs of characters having conversations and not a whole lot really happened. So on to the next episode. 

Favourite Lines 

‘...because no one is this bloody band of broken dolls can confab worth a damn.’ 

‘Your beauty is your armour. It’s fragile stuff, all show, really. But what’s inside you, that’s steel. It’s brave and unbreakable and it doesn’t need fixing.’ 

[in-my-feels-probably]

hi congrats sm on 1k! <33

i would like to request option 2, romantic ship from the grishaverse

my pronouns are she/her and i think i am bi

as for physical description, i am quite tall (6 ft/181 cm) and skinny, i have longer light brown hair that i would love to dye red or really anything, my eyes are hazel.

i am extremely introverted and very closed off, at first o can seem mean and cold, but when i become comfortable around someone im funny and very affectionate. my hobbies include listening to music, as for sports - archery and tenis, and also crocheting or just generally fashion. my style is not very consistent, it usually varies every day based on how i feel.

thats all, again congrats!! <3

hi!

thank you for participating :)

since you didn’t put a gender preference, i’ll tell you who out of both the boys and the girls i ship you with, and then do the full thing for who i think you’re best suited for.

i ship you with kaz and alina! i’m gonna go with alina, if that’s alright :)

alina was a generally reserved person too. she can carry a conversation, but feels more comfortable on her own. she’d like someone like that who knew how to sit in comfortable silence. genya and zoya and everyone are good friends, but they’re a lot to handle in large doses. you’d always be easy, and she’d appreciate the quaintness. she’s quite snarky herself, so she would be able to see through you being reserved. and she would be so happy when you started opening up to her and talking more, it would make her feel good that she’s the person you chose to get closer to.

alina isn’t the best as sports. she’s awkward and clumsy, and had to train a ton to figure out how to use her powers. she’d think your sports interest and abilities were so cool, and would secretly be jealous. as if anyone wouldn’t be jealous of the literal sun summoner. she’s got so much power. and yet, she’s easily impressed by you. she’d also think your crocheting was really cool.

overall, she’d just find you really amazing. quiet and reserved like her, but confident when it matters. you’d be just as impressed by her, always telling her how imagine you think she is.

you’d find her training separate from the other grisha, chuckling to yourself when her punch missed the target and she stumbled.

“we’ve got to work on that, love.”

she’d groan, flustered. “we can’t all be talented athletes.”

you’d scoff, coming to stand behind her. “i am hardly that. come on, fists up. let’s try it again.”

“no,” she’d whine, but you’d place comforting hands on her shoulders, giving her a squeeze. “i can’t do it.”

“yes you can,” you’d murmur, trying your best to encourage her. “you can do anything, alina. i really believe that.”

she’d hide her flush, wordless and smiling to herself as she raised her fist to try again.

—

thanks again for participating! i hope this was ok :)

[jedi-enthusiast]

TW: mentions of SA (in the context of Genya from Shadow and Bone) and grooming (in the context of Alina from Shadow and Bone)

—————

Oh absolutely!

If Anakin was unattractive, if he was a person of color, if he was LGBTQ, etc. I GUARANTEE that he wouldn’t be nearly as woobified as he is in fandom right now, and show runners would definitely not be trying as hard as they are to shine the Sith in a good light—which, in my opinion, is done primarily because part of the fandom want to demonize the Jedi in order to absolve Anakin of the blame for his own shitty behavior/actions.

Look at Mace Windu!

The only things he did in the movies and shows were 1. Make reasonable and rational decisions, 2. Show compassion to others, 3. Be calm under pressure, and 4. Not give Anakin a title that he didn’t deserve after already granting him a position that he didn’t deserve!

Even if you could say that some of the stuff he did was bad (and I honestly can’t think of anything that would fall into that category, but whatever), he doesn’t do nearly anything as bad as what Anakin did! And yet certain parts of the fandom paint him as this cruel, rude, cold-hearted asshole while also asserting that Anakin is a poor misunderstood sweetheart…gee, I wonder what could contribute to that.

Not to mention Reva!

She’s an antagonist, yes, but she also has a sympathetic backstory, eventually gets redeemed, and also does far less horrible things than Anakin ever does! And part of the fandom practically fucking crucified her!

Huh, I can’t possibly imagine what makes her and Anakin so different /sarcasm

And yeah, at this point I’m sick of villains with a “tragic backstory” who are shined in a sympathetic light as “oh, but because of x, y, z reasons, this now makes the fact that they’re doing heinous things to other people less bad and/or ok.” Like, just make the villain fucking evil for once—I would vastly prefer that.

Right now (or recently ig) we’re seeing pretty much the same thing with the Darkling from Shadow and Bone.

Darkling, in the book, is written as an attractive young man and, in the show, he’s played by an attractive actor (both white btw). So now people in the Grishaverse fandom are willing to ignore the fact that he groomed Alina (yes “groomed,” he was hundreds of years old and she was like 17), he basically gift-wrapped Genya to the king knowing that he would SA her, he then mutilated Genya for not stopping Alina from escaping, he mutilated his mother for just about the same reason, etc.

We also see people (or, at least, I’ve seen people) demonize Zoya (a WoC), just like people demonize the fucking Jedi—albeit in different ways/for different “reasons.” Making the good guys the “true villains” while absolving the bad guys of guilt.

Like, you can’t just decide that a villain wasn’t at fault for doing things, or just plain didn’t do them, or “was really the good guy all along” just because you think they’re pretty! That’s not how that works!

If you’re gonna like the villain, like the fucking villain! That’s fine! But don’t try to change the whole story just because you feel a little bad about liking a character who’s morally corrupt.

Ok, I know I haven't been very kind about Anakin in my posts lately but like...I'm rewatching TCW while I'm writing and it's literally insane how many times Anakin just...doesn't give a shit about his men and/or fellow Jedi.

Like he consistently makes decisions that get his men killed and you can't even defend it as "he tried his best, but that's war" because nine times out of ten he's either disobeying orders or ignoring the input of someone else saying "this is a bad idea/this is gonna get people killed/we need to do something else."

Like Anakin will literally go out of his way to disobey orders, for literally no reason, and get his men killed.

Not to mention that he shows absolutely no concern for them except for very select situations, and if Padme (or sometimes Ahsoka) is involved then you can bet your ass he doesn't give a shit about his men.

Oh, Rex is also stuck in that lab and dying of some incurable disease? YOU WOULDN'T HAVE KNOWN IT FROM ANAKIN'S COMMENTARY!!!

It's just...it's very frustrating rewatching TCW because now I'm actually seeing seeing his actions and I want to hit him with a metal pipe.

[nugget-from-neptune]

Cuddle Bug

In today's chapter we will have: Tengen o(*￣▽￣*)ブ , Obanai (¬_¬ ) , and Genya (。﹏。*)

It was late at night, you and Tengen were just getting ready to bed when a sudden chill ran down your spine. You shivered a little still feeling somewhat cold. Tengen was still busy getting ready to bed to even pay attention so you didn't say anything not wanting to bother him. You just sighed gently and went to lay in bed still feeling cold. Tengen joined after he was done getting ready and laid on his side of the bed. It was a quiet night and peaceful and neither of you decided to break it. That was until you sneezed gently not wanting to wake up Tengen if he fell asleep before you did. Tengen heard you sneeze but didn't say anything until you started to shiver. He sighed gently and sat up while shaking your shoulder gently.

"Love, are you ok? You've been shivering for a while now" spoke softly Tengen. He stared at you while running his fingers on your hair.

"Uh, yeah I'm just a bit cold don't worry about it Tengen" answered (Y/N). Tengen can only admire how your bed head hair looked very beautiful on you.

"Don't lie, love, if you were cold you could have said so. I wouldn't mind besides I am your knight in shining armor so come here and let's cuddle~" said Tengen while bringing you close. He held you and whispered in your ear, "You really are cold, love why didn't you say anything?" while rubbing your arm gently.

Your only response was to lean closer to Tengen and cuddle up on his chest. Tengen only chuckled a little and held you close while cuddling back. That night with Tengen was spent cuddling each other and whispering to each other cute things.

Crack:

Tengen: Love why are you laying on top of me kitten~?

Y/N: I just want too your very warm!

Tengen: We can do more than just lay here and stay warm you know~

Y/N: TENGEN NoOO We are hERE TO CUDDLE NOT TO HAVE S3X

Obanai (¬_¬ )

It was just a lazy day that you were spending with Obanai. Nothing new in your opinion, just that Obanai kept making these weird signals. It was between him making signals that he was tired and wanted to sleep and how much he wants to be with you but can't because of his pride. So there you were sitting on the couch while Obanai was sitting on the opposite side where you were sitting.

Poor Kaburamaru was in the middle of the couch deciding on who he should go with until he gave up and slithered his way towards you. He slithered up to your arm then went to wrap himself on your neck. Kaburamaru cuddled up to your cheek but felt eyes on him, he turned to look and saw Obanai was staring at him with a little bit of jealousy as he was trying to tell you though his signals that he wanted to cuddle with you. Kaburamaru stared then took his tongue out then fell asleep on your neck. All Obanai could do was curse Kaburamaru about how cheeky he's gotten for spending a lot of time with you receiving a lot of love.

Obanai just exhaled through his nose and then went to sit next to you. You noticed this and stared at Obanai while wondering what he will do. To your surprise, he sat next to you and leaned his head on your shoulder. You were very shocked to see your stoic boyfriend who was always cold lean his head on your shoulder.

"Um... Obanai what are you doing?" asked (Y/N) while looking at Obanai.

"What does it look like dumbass I'm tired and I'm leaning my head on your shoulder. Even a kid would figure out what this could mean" answered out Obanai.

You only stared at Obanai in confusion wondering what he could want but sighed and wrapped your arms around him getting tired of thinking what he could want. You laid down on the couch bringing Obanai close and decided to pet him sighing a little. "I don't know Obanai... what do you want?" was all you asked.

Obanai stiffed a LOT feeling you hug him and petting his head. He didn't know what to say or even do. He stood there still until he decided to just return the affection. He was blushing a lot and mumbled out words you couldn't hear. Until you managed to hear what he was saying.

"I just wanted your attention and cuddles"

That made your heart soft and you proceeded to hug him a little while nuzzling your cheek on his cheek.

"You're too cute for your own good Oba~" cooed (Y/N). So there you were laying on the couch cuddling with Obanai who was arguing with you about how he isn't cute.

Genya (。﹏。*)

You just wanted to check on your boyfriend who was in the infirmary of the Butterfly estate. Which leads you to your current situation where Genya was cuddling you while you stood there wide awake blushing. How did this happen? Well let's go back on time with the help of Moody Blues!

-Before-

You were visiting Genya at the Butterfly estate after hearing that he returned from a mission but got some wounds that caused him to lose consciousness. You were worried and went to see him hopping you could get to see him at least. You were sitting on the bed while staring gently at Genya. You brushed some of his hair away from his forehead and leaned down to kiss his forehead. To your surprise you felt Genya wrap his arm around your waist and pull you down to lay down next to him. You blushed a lot and saw that Genya was still asleep and mumbling a few words you didn't understand. You blushed when you felt Genya cuddle up to you and felt him lean his lips on your temple. Poor (Y/N) was blushing so much it was looking like she was a strawberry!

You could only sigh gently and soon fall into a small cat nap while Genya was cuddling with you. You liked this side of him, showing more affection and not stammering his words.

Crack:

Genya waking up and seeing you asleep in his arms and smiling: Ahh omg what did I do when I fell asleep?!

Y/N snoozing and cuddling more onto Genya for warmth and cuddles: Ung

Genya passes out for the extreme cuteness overload: o((⊙﹏⊙))o.

[ninapi]

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┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺╚══ Roommates…? ╝

Premise: Living together as friends was easier than expected, but being a couple, things change. Will it be for the best or for the worst? Experiencing all sorts of first times with your now boyfriend while sharing the same room can get a bit chaotic.

Word count: 3184

Note: This is a continuation from my previous work, you can read the first part here.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Tanjiro called you and Genya into the living room after Inosuke came downstairs, seemingly traumatized. He made you sit together on your knees while the rest shared the couch, a very distressed looking Inosuke sitting on a chair to the side, still holding the basket full of cookies.

“I called you all today to take part of the first shared house trial. Seems to me like something has been going on behind our backs and need clarification. As you can see, our witness here,” he motioned towards Inosuke, “suffered some severe trauma this evening. Care to share your experience with us?”

Inosuke cleared his throat, both of his hands laying on his knees trying to recount what happened, “Here I was, taking the cookies Kanao baked over to everyone around the house. I started from the third floor just because it was easier that way, my room is on the first floor as you may know. When I went in their room…I…I saw….they…were pink…with a little white polka dotted bow…and…and…please tell me I have more back muscles than he does, Tanjiro. Do I need to work it more? It didn’t seem fair to me in that angle…”

The look of confusion in everyone’s face was priceless, though, you both knew what he meant by all that.

“Hashibira Inosuke, did you deliberately stare at my panties??? How can you remember so many details? You were in the room for less than a second!” Aoi’s gasp could be heard on the background, making Inosuke grow nervous.

“I didn’t do it on purpose, ok? He had your skirt all the way up! When I got in is all I could see! I told you to lock your door, didn’t I?”

“And did I not tell you to knock? Seriously, Inosuke, you gotta stop barging into rooms like that!” Genya’s fist was trembling with rage, he didn’t even get to see them, he felt them, yes, but he didn’t know they were pink or had a bow even, how was it possible that the damn pig had seen them first, outrageous.

“Wait, wait. I’m not getting what’s going on. What do back muscles have to do with (Y/N)’s panties?” Zenitsu was munching on a sandwich, seemingly confused with the random assortment of details.

“Oh god. Is this what I think it is? Did you go into their room again without knocking and…”

“YES” you and Genya shouted in unison, glaring towards Inosuke.

“I TOLD YOU TO FUCKING LOCK THE DOOR (Y/N)!”

“YELL AT HER AGAIN AND I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOU, YOU HEAR ME PIG?”

Tanjiro got up from his seat, getting in between both of them and motioning for both to go back to their place, your hand gently tugging on Genya’s for him to sit down.

“Ok so, is this a thing now? Are you like together?”

You were mumbling quietly, hiding your face on Genya’s shoulder, you really didn’t want to talk about this in front of the entire crew, you hadn’t even talked about it with Genya yet...“Why does it matter to all of you? Isn’t it common decency to knock before barging into someone’s room? What we do or don’t inside our room is our damn business.” his hand came over to yours, rubbing soothing circles on the back of it. You were more than embarrassed, not only have you not told them anything of what’s been going on but one of your oldest friends saw your panties, among other things…

Tanjiro’s eyes were on your joint hands, a little smile making its way over to his face. He’s always known of Genya’s crush on you. He saw the entire scene unfold when you shared your book with him all those years back, he saw his friend’s ears turn pink, his expression turn soft every time you addressed him or said something funny. He was happy for him, for the both of you really.

“So Genya and (Y/N) are fucking or something? Sorry I don’t get all this, Nezuko-chan sent me a selfie with the cutest cat ever, I lost track of the conversation.”

“I will fucking crush your skull…” Genya was gathering you in his arms as you buried your face on his chest in shame. His protective self shielding you from the prying eyes, his own burning holes into Zenitsu with passion.

“Now, now. Let’s not get ahead of our ourselves. (Y/N), are you two together now? Is that it? C’mon let me see your pretty face.” Tanjiro was now crouching in front of you, giving Genya a soft adoring smile as he waited patiently for your reply.

Going out of your safe space, you looked at him with one eye, the rest of your face still hidden away. “Yeah…I think so…”

“Thank you, that’s all we needed to know. Now, let’s get into an agreement. Inosuke, you won’t go into ANY of the rooms without knocking. They aren’t the only couple around, if you don’t want to get even more traumatized, I advise you start listening to others. As for you two, please lock your door from now on, that’s what we all do when, well you know…” Genya’s face was bright red, giving Tanjiro a little nod.

“Wow, so am I the only one single now? This sucks…Tanjiro let me date Nezuko-chan already, she’s not a child anymore!” the glare he received left you all speechless, everyone made their way over to their respective rooms quietly, loud cries of intense pain could be heard for the rest of the evening.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Now that all your friends knew you were together, things quieted down.

Everything went back to normal, except for maybe the fact that Genya placed three additional locks on your door and now you have to carry a bunch of keys in your bag. He still can’t get over the fact that Inosuke saw your panties before he did, he has to keep the menace away before something worse happened.

Though, with back to normal I mean Inosuke barging into your make out sessions constantly, a normal thing this days, it did happen often after all.

First he found you making out in the game room; everyone had fallen asleep while playing or were knocked out drunk on the floor after a fierce Friday night of friendly bonding, or so you thought, but Inosuke was still very much awake and saw you perched on your boyfriend’s lap, enjoying everything but the games on the screen. His loud obnoxious complaints woke everybody up.

A similar thing happened a few days later, but in the laundry room, you were sitting on the folding table, your limbs clinging onto Genya almost desperately while you both waited for your garments to be ready. Inosuke heard your quiet whimpers and blew the door open just to have one of his arms almost ripped to pieces by your very much annoyed boyfriend as he barged in once more to kill the mood on purpose.

But it all ended after you caught him and Aoi, half undressed in the living room past 3AM when the munchies hit you both after a movie marathon. The gasp of horror that left Aoi’s lips and Inosuke’s histerical outburst trying to cover his girl were engraved in your mind forever.

You got to experience the awkwardness of it all and kept your hands to yourselves in public places from then on, also Inosuke started being more considerate after seeing his girlfriend crying in shame, he felt bad for exposing you the way he did, so he bought a tiny bore plushie and left it on your pillow as a sign of peace and as a long overdue apology.

Things went back to how they used to be before you were together after that encounter, or so you like to think but sharing your bed with Genya was definitely not something you used to do, now though, that became the new normal for both of you.

“Do you wanna go somewhere together over the weekend?” you’ve been together for a few weeks now, yet you haven’t had your first official date, you were looking forward to it even if it didn’t matter much in your unusual circumstances.

“Sure, where do you wanna go?” he was comfily pressed to your side, half asleep while you browsed on your phone, his hand aimlessly rubbing circles on one of your thighs.

“Hmmm…I always wanted to go on one of those cheesy dates, you know what I mean? Like going to an aquarium and buy matching phone straps, then maybe go eat some crepes and hold hands while we walk in a park. Is that too much for you?” you giggled, kissing his shoulder gently in a playful manner trying to sway his decision.

Groaning, he buried his face on your chest nuzzling your softness, “I hate you…”

“Is that a yes~?”

“Whatever… you owe me at least ten thousand kisses, and I want them by tomorrow if you want me to do all that girly crap…” chuckling in excitement you rolled around in your bed, getting on top of him and showered his face with soft kisses, “Gotta start now then~”

This would be fun.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Your typical cheesy over the top date was fantastic.

You walked around the exhibits in the aquarium hand in hand, making comments on the pretty fish and forcing your boyfriend to make silly faces for your selfies. Both wore matching head wear obtained at the gift shop at the front to make it all even worse for poor Genya.

You wanted something cute like a dolphin or jellyfish headband, but he refused to wear anything that wasn’t the cool white shark hat that the mannequin had in display. Not like you cared really, you were just happy to wear matching items with someone like him, it felt like an accomplishment, like if you were in some sort of sweet dream you didn’t want to wake up from.

Genya enjoyed it more than he thought he would, aquariums are unexpectedly quiet and fun to be in. He made you touch a sea cucumber and laughed at your disgusted face for about twenty minutes, he just couldn’t stop. So you grabbed his hand and pressed it gently to a starfish, making sure to capture his mortified expression in video. He realized he’d be fine wherever you’d want to take him, being with you was fun, even if he had to wear crazy hats, he really likes to see you smiling.

You got to buy the matching phone straps you wanted, they had a tiny dangly shark hanging from them of course, and he ended up getting a dolphin plush for you out of a claw machine.

This was the first time Genya had been to an aquarium, to a date in general, but he hoped it wasn’t the last.

After your under the sea adventure, you stopped by the crepe stand in the big park outside of the building, it had a long line but he knew you really wanted some for your utopian date plan, so he queued next to you for an hour even if he grumbled the entire time, nothing a couple of sneaky kisses couldn’t fix.

You got back to your room by sunset, exhausted but happy. Having a boyfriend that is willing to indulge you even when he wasn’t one to do such things made you feel loved, and that was new.

“Wasn’t so bad, was it?” you were poking his side while he took off his socks, too lazy to take a bath, you ended up walking a lot, who would have thought dates were this tiring.

“That shark was freaking cool. Do you think they’d let us buy one as pet?” you chuckled, laying flat on your bed, the wild image of your boyfriend feeding Zenitsu to the shark crossed your mind.

“I doubt it, baby.” he nodded slightly disappointed, reaching over to nestle himself on your side. “Too bad. Maybe one day we could get one, those tiny ones might fit in a house tank.” he was dozing off quickly as you threaded your fingers through his hair, dreaming of a future were you two would still be together.

“That would be nice.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Dating your roommate had more perks than anything.

You both always knew what the other forgot before it was too late, always supported the other in bad days. Always ready for cuddles and kisses or a very deep conversation and pep talks.

But it also came with a bad side.

Being comfortable is a good thing, but some times being too comfortable can be a double edged sword.

You were currently in the shower, getting ready for school. Your phone kept ringing and it was driving Genya crazy.

He went over to your desk to make it stop when he saw the caller on the screen, making his stomach turn.

‘Sensei~ ♡’

Why was he calling you, why was his name saved like that in your phone? It made him want to throw your phone off the window and get you a new one so he wouldn’t have your number…

He was about to walk away when a text message arrived, a notification displaying on the screen, ‘I miss you…can we meet today after class?’

“He what??? This bastard…” he was fuming at this point, his imagination running wild. Why would he miss you? Is not like you two had a thing. Did you…? No, no, he trusts you, you are his girlfriend, you even live together, not like you could cheat on him without him noticing.

You went out of the bathroom, Genya reached over for one of the books on his own desk, trying to fake ignorance. His heart was racing, doubt was filling his insides and he didn’t like the way that felt.

You checked your phone but didn’t reply, just continued getting ready.

“S-shall we go for some burgers tonight, babe? Inosuke said they were super good in that new place downtown.” He sounded a little insecure, something he hasn’t been for a while, at least not around you.

“Can’t, not tonight at least, have something to do.” you were rushing out of the door, grabbing your backpack on the way, “See you later, baby!” you blew him a kiss and ran downstairs trying not to be late for your first class of the day.

“Something to do? Since when she doesn’t tell me what that ‘something’ is? She always tells me what she’s doing, why not today? Fuck…” he didn’t want to believe you would cheat on him, but things were just not adding up, his brother was also your first love, and a very dangerous competition to have, didn’t want to but he had to admit he had doubts, he was jealous, hurt even, but he would give you a chance.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Genya was waiting for you sitting on his bed with his arms crossed, it was almost midnight, and you hadn’t even texted him since lunch.

When he saw the door being unlocked, he tried to look calm, reaching for a discarded notebook on his bed to look like he was studying and definitely not waiting for you.

“You still awake, babe? Isn’t it too late? Or were you waiting for me~?” you gave him a loving smile, making your way over to his bed, craving the warmth of your boyfriend after a long day. But he wasn’t having it, even if he didn’t want to be, he was still annoyed by the situation.

Pushing you over to the side, he rolled over, making you face his back.

“Babe? What’s up? Are you mad?” snaking your arms around his waist, you placed a kiss between his shoulder blades.

“Why would I be mad? Did you do something that would make me mad?” his voice was gruff; you could hear the annoyance lacing his every word.

“Not that I know of…” to this he scoffed, throwing the notebook to the ground and turning back to face you, an angry scowl adorning his rather handsome face.

“Yeah right…I fucking saw my brother’s message! Are you toying with me (Y/N)? Am I not enough? Do you really need to go pleading for his stupid attention? Is he that great???” you were speechless, trying to grasp the situation.

“You think I went on a date with Sensei and that’s why I came home late? Is that why you’re mad?” now you were the one scowling. You didn’t mind him seeing your notifications, what made you upset was his lack of trust.

“Why else would you be so fucking late? You didn’t even want to tell me what you were doing after class today…and…and you’ve never rejected a date with me before!”

“It was LATE! I had to run to class! We fell asleep this morning after snoozing the alarm, remember??” you got your phone out, unlocking it and throwing it his way, showing the conversation with his brother.

Genya’s eyes were glued to your screen, re-reading the very short conversation you had with Sanemi in disbelief.

Not only did you declined his offer, but you plainly rejected him.

He grabbed your phone and went into your contacts, an overwhelming need to delete his phone number overtook him but he was able to control himself. Instead, he changed his contact name from 'Sensei~ ♡' to 'Brother in-law', making you giggle. That's what he was now, not your sensei, not your crush, your boyfriend's brother.

He was feeling many things at that moment, he felt proud, of your relationship, of how you didn’t need him to intervene, how you stopped him from the start and didn’t fall for his antics. He felt shame, of his attitude, of the way he shouted at you just now, of how he couldn’t trust you enough. But overall, he felt happy, loved, and oddly, somewhat horny. You’re so hot when you get all bossy like that, shutting him off completely, drives him nuts.

And that was the feeling that won him over.

He threw your phone to the side, climbing on top of you as he smashed his lips against yours. “I was so angry...so jealous...He keeps on lusting over you… over MY baby. You’re mine…Just mine.” he kept grumbling, kissing every available patch of skin he could find like a starved man, his hands roaming over your body with an overwhelming need.

“All yours, my love.” he stopped his ministrations, looking down at you with a mix of confusion and awe. You hadn’t crossed that line just yet.

“What?” you laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck, gazing lovingly into his widened orbs.

“Your l-love…?”

“Yup that’s you. My boyfriend, the man I love. So, my love. Right?” you tilted your head to the side, a bit saddened by his confusion, was it one sided-

“I-I guess so, yes. You are my love too then, my girlfriend, the woman I love.” he nodded with resolution, making your smile grow once more, the urgency getting even more unbearable as time went on, his skin was on fire, same as his heart.

“Genya…?” your eyes were shut in bliss, all you could think about all day was on coming home, to be in his arms…

“Hmmm?” he couldn’t stop kissing you, he just needed more and more of you.

“I love you.” that though, made him stop, looking at you while panting heavily. You felt the need to make things clear, wanted him to hear it properly coming from your mouth, to clear any doubt he might have about your relationship.

“I love you too, babe.” this time you were the one to pull him over to you, not before pulling his shirt over his head in as swift movement, getting rid of the very much unnecessary piece of clothing, needing to feel every inch of him.

“Can I…?” his hand stopped right at the hem of your dress, waiting for your permission to proceed. To this you just nodded, bringing him down once more for another deep kiss as clothing went flying on its own.

Another line was crossed that night, one you both eagerly waited for the right moment to cross fully.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Next morning, Inosuke had gone to pick up the groceries, you had added to the list some of your girly essentials and he went over to your room to leave them there.

He saw the door wasn’t locked, which made him go in after he knocked and there was no reply from any of you.

The room was in fact empty.

He walked over to your bed, dropping the supermarket bag on it and was about to leave when he felt something fall on his head.

Terrified and ready to fight whatever it was attacking him, he saw something pink fall to the ground.

The item that followed him to his nightmares fell from the lamp above the beds, your pair of pink lacy panties with the polka dotted bow he still remembers to this day to perfection.

“FOR FUCK SAKES (Y/N), WHY??? JUST WHY????”

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

Note: Just a little extra something for those who asked for more, hehe~ 🙊✨

Masterlist

[shinichis-therapist]

𝘖𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘏𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘓𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘗𝘵.1

Pairings: Past Genya Shinazagawa x Black!fem reader(Platonic), Sanemi Shinazagawa x Black!fem reader, Past Kyojuro Rengoku x Black!fem reader

cw/tw: Major kny manga spoilers! Mentions of death, survivors guilt, grief.

Summary: Y/n and Sanemi try to find happiness after they’ve lost everything.

Word Count: 1k

A/n: Sanemi will be less of an asshole in this fanfic because I’d like to think everything that happened changed him. I’m also trying to be as canon compliant as possible and the only thing I’ve changed is making Y/n a Hashira, her breathing style is Blood breathing but it doesnt matter that much since she won’t be using it here. I havent written anything in months so sorry if there’s a lot of mistakes. Please enjoy and give me feedback if you have any.

As you sit in front of Genya’s grave with tears rolling down your face, you remember all the times you’d shared. All the training, laughing, and how he’d sometimes come to your room late at night to cry his eyes out. It took a while for Genya to open up to you after Master Ubuyashiki assigned you to train him, but you were patient with him and slowly got him to open up. You loved him so much, he was basically your little brother.

“Genya, I’m sorry” You said before while sobbing uncontrollably.

“I’m sorry that I was too blinded by my own rage. I should’ve been there with all of you. If I had been there maybe you, Muichiro, and Goymei would still be here. You all deserved to live more then I do.” You continued.

While Genya, Muichiro, Goymei, and Sanemi were fighting Kokushibo, you were fighting with Tanjiro and Giyuu to take down Akaza. The only thing that was on your mind was taking down the man that killed your beloved husband, Kyojuro Rengoku. The man you loved more then life itself. After you found out he had died, you wanted to end your own life, but you remembered that you still had people to live for.

“Y/n.” You hear a familiar voice say from behind you.

You turn to see your fellow Hashira. The man who’s brother you’re currently grieving.

“Sanemi. I’m so sorry. I’ll leave immediately.” You say as you wipe your tears and stand up.

“Wait no. Why the hell would you leave? Just sit back down.” He says as he lightly grabs your wrist.

“I don’t want to intrude.” You said looking down so he wouldn’t see your puffy red eyes.

“You’re not. Just sit down. I’ve been meaning to talk to you.” He said before he sat down and started silently praying.

“Ok.” You whispered as you slowly sat back down and started praying with him.

You sat there and thought about how you should feel. Did you even have a right to be mad at Sanemi for the way he treated Genya? You knew that Genya had forgiven him. You knew all the things that happened to them. But you also knew that Sanemi was the reason Genya had cried in your arms late at night when he needed the love of an older sibling. You knew Sanemi had his reasons for acting the way he did towards Genya but you didn’t know those reasons.

“Thank you, Y/n.” Sanemi said breaking You from your thoughts.

You just sat there silently not knowing what to say.

“Thank you for doing what I was too stupid to do. Thank you for giving him the love I told myself he’d be better without. It’s not your fault. You deserve to be alive, I’m the one that should’ve died.” Sanemi said while looking forward bowing at Genya’s grave with tears fallen from his face.

“Sanemi…” You started but didn’t know what to say.

“I’m so sorry, Genya.” Sanemi says as he started sobbing.

“Please don’t cry, Sanemi. It’s not your fault either.” You said while wiping your own tears.

“YES IT WAS. I was there and I still couldn’t protect him. The only reason he was there was to try and prove himself to me. All he wanted was for me to show my love and I couldn’t do that until his dying moments.” Sanemi said while sobbing even harder.

“Oh Sanemi.” You said as you hugged him.

“You know what the worst part is? After all the bullshit I put him through, the way I neglected him. He still said I was the nicest person in the world.” Sanemi said.

Where was all this coming from? You’d never seen him like this before. You knew that he probably came here with intentions of crying his eyes out but thought that the moment he’d saw you he’d push that urge aside. Him telling you to stay was already out of character. You hadn’t spoken to him much since everything happened but you had noticed him being slightly nicer to people you once thought he hated. 

You pulled Sanemi’s head into your lap and lightly stroked his hair as he continued to cry.

“He forgave you, Sanemi. He forgave you so you wouldn’t have the guilt that you have now. He loved you more than anything and what he’d want most is for you to be happy. Please try to find some form of happiness. If you can’t do it for yourself then do it for him, do it for everyone that isn’t here anymore.” You said while continuing to stroke his head.

You both sat there in silence for a few minutes until you heard his cries start to die down. He slowly took his head off your lap then looked the other way. You two sat in even more silence until you spoke.

“I’ve learned that it’s much easier to live for the dead then it is to live for yourself. The only reason I’m still here is because I don’t want to disappoint the people I love. I really shouldn’t have lectured you on happiness when I haven’t even found my own. I apologize for that.” You said as you started to stand up.

Sanemi was still turned the other way thinking of the words to say to you. He knew you were right but couldn’t bring himself to believe what you were saying. How was he supposed to find happiness? What did that happiness look like? How does he know that if he finds happiness it won’t leave him again? Even in a world without demons, sicknesses and crazy humans still exist. He’d rather never love again then love again and lose them to some freak accident.

“It’s fine.” He said lowkey as he turned to look up to you.

“I’ll see you around, Sanemi.” You said with a warm smile on your face as you put a hand on his shoulder.

Sanemi watched you walk away contemplating your words.

[itsstrawberrymochi]

Hi, I love your content so I wanted to request something! Could you do headcanons with the hashira’s x gender neutral reader(- muchiro ofc) where they find out that the reader self-harms? If this makes you uncomfortable at all please delete it!

Kny pillars reacting to their s/o who self-harms

Awww thank you anonymous that means a lot to me hope you enjoy this also thx for reading my request rules when you said minus Muichiro ^^

Characters: all pillars expect Muichiro

Warnings: Mentions of self-harm and suicide

Note: if you or anyone you know is doing this activity please seek help with people you trust , it may seem that self harm is the best distraction but it’s really not, it’s only a temporary relief and you don’t deserve to always go through that pain ❤️

Giyuu

🌊- Now it took him a while to notice this

🌊- Don’t get him wrong, Giyuu loves you and all but he just assumed the injuries were from a demon after all that’s what you told him you had to no reason to lie right?

🌊- When he found out the truth he got extremely sad, he also got mad at himself for taking so long to notice

🌊- When he finds out he wouldn’t dare shout at you or make a scene out of it, instead he’ll calmly approach you and ask what’s the matter

🌊-If you don’t tell him right away he won’t pressure you to do so instead he’ll wait until you’re ready to talk

🌊- He’ll just sit next to you calmly in silence for hours and hours until you’re finally ready tell him

🌊- When you tell him the reason he would start to try and find a solution for the problem so you can feel better

🌊- He would also pull you in a soft hug and just let you cry on him while listening to you tell him what’s wrong

🌊- Giyuu would alway try his absolute best to make you feel better and he’s very serious about the cutting/harming and does everything in his power to try and make you stop

🌊- He’s extremely afraid that one day you’ll go beyond self-harming and he doesn’t want to lose you

Rengoku

🔥- A literal angel that was sent from heaven

🔥- Rengoku would immediately notice that you self-harm, he is extremely observant when it comes to you so he’d be quick to realize

🔥- Like Giyuu he wouldn’t pressure you to tell him what’s the matter but he’ll wait until you’re ready to say

🔥- Rengoku would make sure you know that it’s not you vs the problem but rather you and him vs the problem

🔥- He’ll make sure you know he’s there for you and whatever problem there is you don’t have to go through it alone

🔥-He also isn’t the type to give you words such as “ it’s ok this problem will pass” or “you’ll get over ”, but rather say “ Don’t worry my little flame we will find a solution to the problem no matter what”

🔥- If you’re feeling helpless or upset and feel like self-harming again he’ll drop everything he’s doing to talk to you and try and calm you down

🔥- Rengoku would allow you to talk to him whenever. He would never tell you to go away or say he’s too busy. He’d also let you talk to him for hours it doesn’t matter to him just as long as you feel better

🔥- There are often occasions where you would be laying on his lap and he’ll gently rub your back as you cry and rant to him

Shinobu

🦋- She’ll notice right away, she’s a medic so she can tell the difference between real injuries and self- inflicted ones

🦋- She would become heartbroken to know you were so sad you felt the only way to feel better was pain

🦋- She would make all the butterfly girls leave and go to another room so she can talk to you in private when she found out

🦋- Even though some scars are already healed she would kiss every single one of them

🦋- She does it because she wants to ‘kiss it better’

🦋- She would place bandages and medicine all over the new cuts so they can heal properly

🦋- She is very patient with you, she understands that you won’t stop your self-harm just like that so she’ll take her time talking to you and helping you get over it

🦋- She would alway check up on you and whenever she does she always has some tea or your favorite food ready to talk and listen to you

🦋- She always encourages you to tell her you’re true feelings and never makes you feel emotional or dramatic for it

🦋- If she knows she’s going on a really long mission and won’t see you for while she’ll ask Kanao or one of the butterfly girls to check up on you but if you don’t want them to know about it she would keep it private and she’ll just constantly send you letters instead

Mitsuri

💖- When she found out she talked to you as soon as she could

💖- She found out during a pillar meeting when your sleeve accidentally lifted up showing all the unnatural scars

💖- She had waited after the pillar meeting, when you two were in private to talk about it. She knew you clearly didn’t want anyone to know so she was sure no one was around

💖- When she asked you about it she couldn’t help but break down crying, Mitsuri would blame her self for your self-harming and feel like she did something wrong to you but you’ll explain to her that it wasn’t her fault but she’ll still cry because you were hurting all this time and she didn’t know.

💖- Her number one method of helping you heal is showing you lots and lots of love and care and showing you she is there for you

💖- So that basically means more sweets, more tea parties, hugs and kisses,more l love you, her complementing you all the time etc

💖- She had also bought you a bunny, so if she ever went on long missions you’ll always have “ someone” to talk to.

Sanemi

☁️- At first he would be kind of angry. Angry at himself for not noticing and angry at you for not telling him

☁️- Genya was the one who had told him , Genya being your worried younger brother in law couldn’t stand by and watch you do this to yourself

☁️- Sanemi’s first thought was to yell at you for doing it but then he thought you’d probably be afraid to talk to him about it if he did

☁️- He’ll burst in your room and yell “Y/N I KNOW YOU INTENTIONALLY HURT YOUR SELF”

☁️- You expecting him to yell about it prepared for more but when he reached you he just shoved your face into his chest and pulled you in for a soft hug

☁️- He’ll then say he was sorry you had to go through all this pain alone and sorry that he wasn’t there for you

☁️- He’ll allow you to cry on his shoulder for as long as you’d like

☁️- He wouldn’t care that you’re messing up his slayer uniform nor how long you’re crying for

☁️- While you’re crying he’ll reassure he is now and will forever be there for you and he’ll also reassure you and you can tell him anything

☁️- This wasn’t the only time he allowed you to cry on his shoulder,after the one time you cried he wouldn’t easily dismiss the matter but instead constantly bring it up to make sure you’re getting better

Obanai

🐍- He’s a very observation person especially when it comes to you so he’ll notice your self-harming rather quickly

🐍- He was very patient with you, so the first time he asked and you didn’t tell him he waited until you were ready, like Giyuu he didn’t force you to talk about it.

🐍- When you two did talk about it he never judged you or made you feel bad for doing it, he never called your self harming ‘ attention seeking’ or called you dramatic for doing it

🐍- instead he’ll empathize with you and try to understand why you’re doing it

🐍-Obanai is definitely not one to show physical affection, he rather shows he loves you through words of affirmation BUT If you ever need him to hold you or hug you he’d be more than glad to do it

🐍- He’ll alway hold on onto you and assure you he’ll try and help you solve the problem

🐍- You’ll also have Kaburamaru to be your support snake he’ll alway wraps hisself around you or rub his head on your check to try and make you feel better

🐍- Obanai always try his best to make you feel better and he will near you every second of the day he’s right next to you to because he wants to be a constant reminder that you’re not alone

Uzui

🔊- It was own of the wives that told him about it

🔊- Uzui would immediately blame himself he would think you were probably upset that he was giving one of his wives e attention than you

🔊- He’ll then immediately go to you and apologies for it but then you’ll explain to him that’s not the reason. He’ll then feel relieved but immediately worry knowing there’s something making his love sad

🔊- He is the type to not assume what would make you feel better but would ask you how he could help. He’d ask if you want to talk about it with him, if you wanna talk to someone else maybe one of the wives, if you wanna be left alone, if you want a support animal ( yes willing to get you a cat/dog/lizard etc to make you feel better 😌)

🔊- He would kindly ask for you to give him the weapons you use for self-harm, he refuses to do it by force because that’ll make matters worst, if you don’t give it to him the time he’ll constantly ask for always in a soft and calm voice

🔊- If you’re a slayer he’ll even go as far and take away your sword he’d only give it back if he’s sure someone else is going on a mission with you and they can watch you or if he’s going

🔊- He would also get all of his wives to separately talk to you and try to make you feel better

🔊- Uzui allows you to cry on his shoulder if you ever need it and he’ll gently pat your head or rub your back

Gyomei

🪨-He would cry as soon as he found out

🪨-Like Shinobu he would be extremely heartbroken and his heat would weep for you

🪨- He absolutely hates the fact that you hurt yourself and would always cry thinking about it or if he hears you did it again

🪨- If the reason you are cutting yourself is because you don’t feel like you are good enough he would remind you of all your good qualities and there are lot

🪨- He’ll also wrap his arms around you and cuddle you as you cry because he knows how much you love it

🪨- Gyomei, if you allow it likes to gently rub all your self-injury scars because he believes you deserve comfort for going through all that pain

🪨-He wound often call them battle scars he does it because he believes that you did in fact went through a battle with many problems and you won

🪨- He is very gentle and patient when it comes to your self-harming , when he speaks to you about it and gives you advice it’s always in a soft and calming voice and whenever you rant or cry about how you feel he’ll patiently wait there for hours and let you speak, he’ll only speak when he knows that you are done, he wouldn’t dare interrupt you

This was my first time writing Uzui and Gyomei hope I did good, also this was my longest ever request so I wouldn’t be surprised if it has grammar errors sorry for that 😭

[thewriterthatghostedyou]

This is the last one for today! I hope everyone is having a good day!

Shadows and Scars

Chapter 8

The new garden was massive. I memorized the gorgeous marble entrances that had vines curled around them, some had little flowers buds poking out showing a bit of color.

There was a gray stone fountain in the middle of the courtyard, surrounded by tempers and bushes of all kinds. I bent down and took a quick sniff of a blood red rose. The floral scent for it and the rest of the garden was calming, although a tad overpowering due to the sheer amount of plants.

The fountain had water trickle out of a shallow bowl. I closed my eyes and got lost in the sound of falling water. My heart stopped racing from my nightmare and I felt my whole body relax. Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

“It’s pretty isn’t it?” A shy voice said from behind me. My eyes snapped open and I whirled around to see the Sun Summoner. “I saw it from my window too.” She gave me a small smile.

My shoulders relaxed, I didn’t even notice that they were tense, and I returned the smile. “Yes, it’s very calming. It wasn’t here when I was growing up, but I haven’t been back here in a while.” I rambled.

“I’m y/n.” I said, finally remembering my manners. “Y/n y/l/n.” I held out my hand.

“Alina Starkov.” Alina said, shaking my hand with a smile.

“I know. Well I mean everyone knows who you are. I was in Kribirsk when you met with the general.”

“I’d say that I remembered you, but honestly I was a little frazzled.” Alina said with an apologetic shrug.

I laughed. “Facing down General Kirigan after going through the fold in one day is quite frazzling.”

“What was it like?” Alina asked before sitting on a bench by the fountain and patting the seat next to her. “Growing up here?”

I stiffly walked over and sat next to her, still getting used to my brace and when Alina saw it her eyes widened, but she didn’t say anything.

“It was nice. Definitely boring at times, but you’d be surprised at how many opportunities there are to cause a little mayhem.” I smirked at that. “My friends Anya, Genya, and I-“

“I know Genya!” Alina interrupted excitedly.

“How is she?” My eyes widened at the name of my old friend.

“She seems busy.” Alina furrowed her brow. “But she seems ok for the most part. Didn’t you see her when we were in the grand palace?”

I racked my mind for a sign of fiery red hair in my memory and found none. I shrugged. “I wish, but I was with the Materialki getting this.” I patted my brace. I paused. “You can ask.” I said softly.

“Ask what?” She said, staring at my scar. I flinched as I realized that I was still wearing my nightclothes: a light purple satin shirt and shorts. I tightened my velvet robe around my body shyly.

“How I got it. It’s usually the first thing I’m asked when I meet others.” I shrugged at her sad look.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m just used to it by now.”

“How did you… get it?” She asked after a long pause.

I self-consciously covered my leg with my robe. “My first trip across the fold we were attacked by a swarm of volcra.” Alina nodded for me to continue. “A particularly nasty one grabbed my leg and flew away with me before abandoning me saints know where. My leg was pretty mangled so I had to crawl my way out of the fold.” I stopped at that.

“That’s why you’re here.” Alina said finally. I looked at her questioningly. “You couldn’t sleep because whenever you close your eyes, or start to relax, you're there.”

I blinked at this, surprised at how well she understood.

“It happens to me too. My first trip through the fold was similar, except when the volcra tried to take Mal…” She paused at the name.

“You lit up like the sun was about to explode.” I finished for her.

“Yep. The next thing I remember was a healer and sunlight. I never realized how much I loved the sun before I had entered the fold.” She nervously ran her fingers over her left palm which had a circular scar on the bottom.

I nodded at that. “It’s always a relief when you come out. It makes you appreciate the little things.”

“How many times have you gone through?” Alina asked, still gently rubbing her scar.

“Four.” She gasped and sat upright to look at me in shock. “But they weren’t as bad as the first time. We sneaked through with little casualties, most of the time the volcra seemed to ignore us.”

“But your first time- your leg- I-“ She stuttered, grabbing my hand and giving it a soothing squeeze.

“The second army doesn’t have enough grisha soldiers in Novosibirsk since General Zlatan has been allowing the Fjerdans to snatch away the ones who happened to be there.” Alina’s eyes widened but she stayed quiet.

“Most of the time it’s basically just us setting up medic tents and helping our wounded soldiers, since I was a healer I never had to do much fighting. I was actually scheduled to head through for a fifth trip when the general had me stationed here.”

Alina’s cheeks reddened at the mention of the General. “What changed?”

“Apparently I can do things that only heartrenders should be able to do.” I blushed. “But enough about me, I’ve probably talked your ear off. Sorry about that, it’s nice to talk to someone who understands.”

Alina laughed. “It’s fine, I enjoyed listening.”

“So who is this Mal?” I asked teasingly.

“Is he a special friend?” I laughed as Alina’s face turned a bright red.

“No! He’s- just. We grew up together!” Her rosy cheeks had a big smile on them and we laughed together.

“But is he cute?” Alina opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out.

“Maybe a little…” Alina grumbled quietly, still smiling and blushing like crazy.

“I can drop the subject if you’d like.” I said giving her an out.

“Yes please.”

“I don’t think mercilessly teasing someone about a boy isn’t the best way to make a friend.” I leaned back on my palms and looked at the sky.

“You weren’t that bad.” Alina said, doing the same. “I just never really talk about Mal like that.”

“What was it like growing up for you?” I asked, staring at the stars that dotted the night sky. Little dots of light that brought even more beauty to the darkness.

I kept looking at the sky as Alina talked. She told me about growing up in Keramzin with Mal. She told me about the bigger kids picking on them. They picked on Alina because she was part Shu and Mal because he was small. She told me about her time with the first army and what she did to get on her first skiff. I listened as she confessed to being terrified of the expectations people have for her.

“They look at me like I’m the answer. Like I’m some Saint here to save the world.” She paused. “What if I can’t?”

I gave her a calming smile and gave her a half armed hug. “You can try and believe in yourself.” I said thoughtfully. “That’s all we can really do in the end. Try our hardest and believe to the fullest.”

She snorted at that. “That was cheesy.” She playfully gave some a shove. “I mean where did you find that? But you’re right. I have training tomorrow and maybe I’ll be better than I think I will be.”

I gave a small laugh and stood up from the cool bench. “Well then we’d better get some rest. If I remember correctly we’ll train with Botkin and well… he’s certainly… eccentric.”

“What does that mean?” Alina laughed as she stood up and started to walk away.

“You’ll have to find out!” I said with a smile and the two of us walked separate directions. Any fear from my nightmare had dissolved and I felt at peace. Maybe I could actually fall back asleep.