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sunonyoreface · 12 days ago

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He Knows - Simon "Ghost" Riley Pt. 21

Word count: 5589

Warnings: minors dni, angst, military setting, explicit language, use of weapons, mentions of injuries and death.

My feelings towards Price are continuously conflicted. On one hand, he’s been very generous throughout my stay with 141. He seems to trust my word at face value and has offered me protection with Soap and Ghost. He also seemed genuinely impressed with my work as a translator, and then again with my performance on the phone with my father.

On the other hand, he is the entire reason I’m here. Sure, Ghost arranged everything, but Price is the man behind every step 141 takes. Nothing is done without his permission. My existence is simply a form of currency to him. My value relies on how much my father is willing to sacrifice for me. Markets are rarely stable in times of war. One wrong move, and the stock will tank faster than in 1929. I feel the dip approaching like a rollercoaster at the top of a hill. Imminent.

As he stands in front of me, Price has a welcoming presence, despite all of the atrocities he’s committed. Despite everything he has put me through to gain the upper hand on my father. Despite everything he is going to put me through.

His voice is soft as he speaks. We’re alone in my quarters. He leans against the dresser as I sit in bed with my legs pulled to my chest.

“We identified another rat,” a double agent. Another one of their supposedly well-vetted men who turned out to be a terrorist in disguise. His shoulders remain rigid and his arms cross over his chest. “He was in our transportation unit,” Price continues.

I search my mind for some of the faces I’ve come to recognize. There are too many to remember. I don’t know if I’ve even talked to any of the task force members in that unit. Everyone I know is an extension of Soap’s circle.

“What happened to him?” I ask.

“Nothing yet,” he answers. “We can’t risk tipping off the ultranationalists or the exchange being called off,” his thick English accent reminds me of a misty, fall day spent at a café. It’s cold, but there’s also something comforting about it - about him.

It makes sense how the ultranationalists always knew where we were. The mole could’ve tapped the vehicle GPS or tipped them off about which bases we were at. All of those attacks couldn’t have succeeded without him.

“Are there more of them?”

“Rats don’t lie alone,” there’s an underlying tone of disgust in his otherwise reserved voice. His message is loud and clear and more unnerving than ever. The men in 141 are even less trustworthy than I originally thought. “But I didn’t stop to visit about pest control.”

The air feels colder as the words leave his lips. My breathing pauses and the false ease of our conversation drops away like a theatre curtain.

“It’s happening, isn’t it?”

“Affirmative,” he confirms.

“When?” my soft voice is urgent.

“In fifteen minutes someone will drop off your gear. In forty-five you’ll get on the van. And in one hour we depart,” My chest clenches and I feel a nervous ball form in my stomach. I can’t believe how fast this is all happening. I’m not ready. I don’t have a plan to save myself if this all goes south. He doesn’t care if I live. Neither does my father. He might say he does, but he doesn’t, not really. I’m just an excuse for them to meet head to head. Just an excuse for them to pick a fight with one another. They don’t care what happens to me. Only I do. Price watches my reaction closely. I can tell he half-heartedly expects a breakdown.

“Will Soap come get me?”

“Soap’s team left an hour ago,” they’re gone already? Why’d they leave so early? Why aren’t they all leaving together? I know the answer I’ll get if I ask these questions. I turn my attention back to the exchange.

“What’ll happen when we get there?” Price shifts his weight. He’s a busy man. He doesn’t have additional time to stand here and let me quiz him.

“We’re meeting at an old landing strip in the forest just past the Russian boarder. The exchange will happen in the clearing. Only a few of us will be there for the handoff: Ghost, myself, and a couple other sergeants. The rest will be waiting in the surrounding woods on our side. But they won’t be alone. The ultranationalists will have men waiting on their side of the woods. In the event that this all goes South, you’re going to retreat to the defilade,” he takes a decisive step away from the dresser with his feet pointed towards the door. I don’t have much time to get any other information from him.

“Wait what’s a defilade?” the word stumbles across my lips.

“The men in the trees,” Price pauses. Like always he has the army green hat on his head and is dressed in partial camoflauge. “y/n, I’m not saying it’ll turn into a dogfight, but your father doesn’t exactly have the best track record. Be prepared for that possibility.”

I heed his warning closer than anything else he’s said all morning. Why is Price going through with this if he thinks its going to go to shit?

“I’ll see you soon enough,” There’s a knowing look to his face. Maybe it’s the way his eyes slightly squint or the ghost of a smile that tugs at his lips. It ambiguous. Comforting yet concerning.

Sure enough, within fifteen minutes, a member of the task force drops off a bullet proof vest and new clothes to change into. She is tall and wears a uniform almost identical to the one passed onto me.

“Once you’re dressed, I’ll escort you to transportation,” her voice is low and confident. There’s something reassuring about her presense and I’m just glad it isn’t Bennet or one of his friends taking me there.

After hastily throwing on the tactical gear and bulletproof vest, there’s still a piece of fabric sitting on my bed. When I pick it up I recognize the familiar black, fabric bag from several weeks ago. They’re blindfolding me again. Its eerily soft between my clenched fingers. I can’t fucking believe they’re doing this to me again. After everything, why now?

If Ghost was here, would he make me wear it too? Or is this all Price’s doing?

Her firm hand rests on my upper arm as she leads me throughout the compound. Soon the smell of gas filters through the mask and I hear the rumble of multiple engines. People are talking. Orders are barked from one person to the next. Gear is being loaded onto vehicles. Metal clinks and clashes against each other. Everything is in motion.

And then I hear his voice.

Ghost’s distinct tone cuts clearly through the air. It’s powerful and travels with a force that is impossible to ignore. I can pinpoint the exact moment he notices me. The orders he’s giving briefly falter. Then he’s approaching the sergeant and informing her he’s got it from here.

His strong hand replaces her’s. I imagine the warmth of Ghost’s hand through his glove and my sleeve. Ghost’s chest brushes against my shoulder as he leans down to speak. I blindly await his words, only imagining what we look like to the rest of the soldiers. Will they even notice or are they too preoccupied right now?

“You’re riding with me. Don’t say anything. The blindfold will come off once we arrive,”

“Where is th-“

“Don’t. Speak.” Ghost lowly cuts me off.

The van reminds me of the one before. Similarily, I think we’re strapped in against the walls of the vehicle. But I can’t tell for sure.

Ghost quickly buckles me in. His fingers are fast, yet cautious. He takes care not to pinch my skin between the clasps. For a second it almost feels like he’s lingering just to touch me longer. My remaining anger towards him melts for a moment. In a strange environment where I’m stripped of my senses, he’s the only thing that’s familiar. He’s the only one I might just be able to trust.

There are low murmurs amongst the other task members, but not the cheerful kind like before. These are the types of conversations reserved for before high-risk missions. Conversations that hum just above a whisper. They know not everyone will return. You can hear it in their voices.

The van rocks back and forth as we drive. Ghost’s thigh presses against my own. I melt into his side. The firmness of his strength is a reassuring senestion. My hand rests between our legs as my thumb gently traces back and forth along his pantleg. I wonder if he can feel it? I wonder if he knows how this is going to end?

The terrain progressively deteriorates from pavement to gravel to dirt to something far more unpredictable. When the van suddenly stops there’s a split second of absolute stillness. It only lasts for a single breath. Then, it’s go time.

The clicking sounds of seatbelts fill the air. Orders are reaffirmed down the line. Shuffling bodies exit the van. Cold air wafts through the doors.

The blindfold is harshly yanked off my head. Ghost’s calm eyes latch onto mine. In the sea of chaos flowing around us, he remains anchored.

He doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to. Ghost only nods once, his eyes telling me all I need to know.

Thick forest surrounds us as teams of armed men meticulously clear the surrounding area. It’s daylight, but the shadows of the trees make it feel like dusk. The snow crunches under my feet and bitter air bites at my skin as visible clouds form when I exhale. We’re back in Russia. Ultranationalist territory.

Price appears from another van followed by a formation of armed men who surround Ghost and myself.

“We’re clear. Their men have claimed their half and the rest are waiting on the flat.”

“How many?” Ghost asks, his hand is glued to the automatic riffle clipped to his vest. His eyes continuously scan the area for threats. Everyone is on high alert. Something is happening behind the scnenes that I don’t know about. I can just tell.

“Half a dozen,” Price responds.

“Beyond the zone of action?”

“TAC estimates about fifty,” Price’s attention is entirely on Ghost. He trusts his opinion more than anyone else on the task force.

“We’re outnumbered,” Ghost’s jaw clenches under the skull mask. His response is short and matter-of-fact. He doesn’t like this. “Update on demolitions?”

“They’re ready,” Price smirks knowingly. What the hell have they got planned? Where is Soap?

Ghost processes what Price has just said. Despite his hesitancy he seems to find some reassurance in Price’s words.

“Right. Y/n,” my eyes are already on Price. “When we go out there, you stay in the detail circle until instructed otherwise. Keep your act up. Sell it to your father. If something happens, retreat to the West side of the flat,” his instructions echo between my ears. This is real. This is happening.

“Affirmative,” I force my chin up.

Then like no time has passed at all, we march as a unit through the trees into a long opening. It’s an old landing strip once used for planes with an abandoned hangar at the far side of the field. The sun gleams through the opening in the trees and reflects off the snow. The brightness hurts my eyes at firt, but then as they adjust, I see several men gathered at a table in the center of the air strip. Its them. It’s him.

Fear pummels through my veins. It’s violent and demands my attention. Every sense feels heightened. Dread fills my body and weighs me down like iron restraints.

It takes everything I have to push myself forward. Every action feels forced. Snow sinks up to my shins as we walk, adding extra resistance. The space is large, spanning multiple football fields. I feel their eyes on us from a hundred meters away. I don’t think I can stomach seeing my father after everything.

The tension is killing me.

Four men surround me as Price and Ghost lead them towards the group. The Ultranationalists have more men at their station, but some of them must be the prisoners theyre supposed to exchange.

At least that’s what I think until Price clears his throat. “You’re missing three sergeants,” His voice sounds different than I’m used to: louder, demanding, dangerous.

“No one’s missing, Captain Price.” My father’s all too familiar voice reaches my ears. “I assume it’s Captain Price, you didn’t exactly leave room for introductions.” it’s warm and relaxed. “They’re resting just beyond the treeline. We only wanted to garuntee your honest intentions before bringing them out,” he sounds completely in control, with his attention completely on Price. It gives me a moment to really look at him.

I haven’t seen my father in weeks and while he looks exactly the same, I can barely recognize the man in front of us. His beard is longer, but still well groomed. He’s dressed in dark greens and greys, the same as the other Ultranationalists. A toque covers his head and a warm winter jacket is hugged by a bullet proof vest. A chest holster hides a gun while his hands remain open and falsely inviting. His eyes look darker than normal. He must be tired. Or maybe it’s hidden rage that gives them that look. I can’t tell anymore. He isn’t the person I once thought I knew, that much is certain.

Our eyes meet and my blood runs cold.

“Dad?” my voice croaks. Price’s reminder to play into the traumatized daughter act weighs on my shoulders. Suspicious eyes square me up from every angle. There isn’t a single person here who fully trusts me. One wrong word and we could all end up dead.

“Y/n?” his brows furrow as his head cranes in my direction. “Y/n, are you okay? Just be patient darling, you’ll be safe soon,” I note how he chooses his words to influence my emotions. How many times has he done this before without me noticing?

“Right, lets cut to the chase then, bring the rest of my men out and she’s all yours,” Price says. I watch as my father eyes him up for a second and then nods in agreement. He barks an order in Russian to one of the men behind him who repeats it into a transmitter.

Then Price steps to the side, opening up a hole in the baracade of men surrounding me. Ghost does the same as he turns and our eyes lock. Under the skull mask I see his lower lids tense with suspicion. He doesn’t trust the Ultranationalists. Every person here has conflicting goals and values. No one is safe.

I can’t look at him for long. Beyond them, someone else expects me.

I take off running into his arms and hot, genuine tears fall from my eyes and freeze to my cheeks. As his arms wrap around me, I can’t hide the shudder of terror that ripples down my spine. It’s becoming harder and harder to separate my father from his actions. When I close my eyes, I see the footage of him ordering the execution of hundreds of vulnerable people. “I’m scared, Dad,” the hushed truth leaves my lips and brushes against the fabric of his coat. He doesn’t react to my words.

“Those aren’t my men,” A type of hollow furry reverberates through Price’s chest. A realization. A confirmation. They let me go too soon. Now I’m in my father’s arms, while the men marching towards them are more Ultranationalists. Not the taken 141 soldiers.

“Oh, don’t worry about them,” he says with his arms still wrapped around me,” as I look over his soulder and past his soldiers, I see more men dressed in grey and green emerge past the treeline and stalk in our direction, guns in hand.

I hear Ghost whisper something into his com. I wonder how many guns are trained on us right now? How many snipers are hidden in the trees waiting for clearance?

“You don’t get to change the conditions of the exchange last minute.”

“I suppose you’re right. That’s not normally how we do things,” my father finally releases me from the hug. His leather glove wipes the tears from my face. The empty, almost irritated look in his eyes tells me he isn’t satisfied. “We don’t typically go through the effort of an exchange. However, Captain Price, these are unique circumstances. Yet, I can’t help the feeling that you are getting a better deal than we are. Look at all these men you’re getting. They’re incredibly valuable to us. They know a lot of information. Information that could hurt a lot of people. Not to mention your men who will be returned to you, once we adjust our terms, of course.”

“Is her life not valuable enough to you?” Ghost’s voice booms across the snow. It’s the first time he’s spoken since arriving. His official introduction to my father. In another life, I wonder if they’d like each other?

“Of course it is,” he brings a hand to his heart and holds onto my arm with the other. It isn’t. I feel his grip tighten. “But that doesn’t mean this is a fair trade,” My stomach drops. He just confirmed everything I’ve feared without directly saying it. My life doesn’t matter as much as having an advantage on 141. He wants more. That greedy fucking bastard.

“What is then?” Price demands.

“You,” he answers. “And several lieutenants. Then we’re getting somewhere.”

“Negative. Never going to fucking happen. Get that through your thick, Russian skull,” large clouds form in plumes as Price’s burning words meet the arctic air. I sense the tension rising as more Ultranationalists approach the group. We were already outnumbered. Now it’s at least two to one. Why haven’t they called backup yet?

“It will. Wilingly or not,” there it is. The underlying threat of violence that has simmered just under the surface of this entire meeting has finally emerged. The Ultranationalists are more than willing to fight. Maybe they’re even counting on it.

“I don’t think you know what you’re getting yourself into,” Price sneers. I spare a glance in Ghost’s direction to find his eyes already on me. They’re unreadable. He’s never felt so far away.

“Yeah? What’s that?” my father’s cocky voice bites back. This entire time I feel his hands tighten around my arm as though my winter jacket isn’t there. The heavy vest weighs me down. The cold air hurts my skin. Everything feels off. And just when my attention is focused on every uncomfortable detail, Price’s words cut through the air with such clarity they almost don’t sound real.

“If you don’t follow through with our original deal, your wife will die.”

I feel my father freeze. His molten iron grip solidifies. At the same time my heart drops and it feels like I’m falling. My mom? 141 has my mom? My eyes flicker to Ghost, but he won’t look at me. He lied to me. Again. He fucking lied. Ghost had every opportunity to tell me and he didn’t. My cheeks flush with betrayal. After all this time… How could I be so stupid to trust him?

“That’s impossible,” for the first time, my father looks genuinely rattled. The Ultranationalists were supposed to have a team in New York to protect her. She would be almost untouchable. Yet, Price reaches into a large pouch on his vest and pulls out a tablet. On the screen is a livestreamed video of my mom tied to a chair in our family livingroom. The surge of panick that courses through my veins is indescribable.

Somehow, they did it.

“Go get my men,” Price lowly orders and I don’t doubt for a second he’d kill me or my mom to get what he wants. It’s a terrifying realization. He is willing to do anything to protect his task force. All notions of morals and ethics fly out the door when it comes to his men. Bennet was right. I’m not safe with them.

More orders fly out of my father’s mouth in Russian which are then repeated through the transmitter. All eyes are on the treeline waiting for the captured task force members to emerge.

I can’t bring myself to look at Ghost again. Not after this. Not after such a devastating betrayal.

Just as they emerge from the trees, a popping noise behind us in the distance snags my attention. I turn my head just before the men do, seeing nothing. But that noise, that unmistakable noise can only be one damning thing.

Just like that, all bets are off the table.

I’m yanked behind the line of Untranationalists as each side raises their weapons at each other. The line hudles together and pushes back towards the trees as men from each side scream orders and threats at each other.

Over the shoulders of the Ultranationalists, I briefly see the six task members shift into formation, covering all angles. Price yells out something about their men and I realize they didn’t get ahold of the promised Ultranationalists or their captured soldiers. They are leaving completely empty handed, with the exception of my mom. If this doesn’t turn around, they’ll kill her. Nausea floods my stomach. I feel the blood leave my face. If I wasn’t being pushed back by my father, I would be sick right now.

The distinct sounds take me back to the night the Ultranationalists ambushed 141’s base. I’d never heard gunfire so close before, but that’s nothing compared to now. What once originated on the other side of the field, now sounds to be only meters away.

Price said if I get the chance, to escape to the West side, but right now, that’s impossible. And if I’m being honest, I don’t know that it’s any safer than being with my father. Nowhere is safe. The forest is crawling with armed men and even if I did escape, everyone would be looking for me and I don’t have anything to defend myself with.

“They’re moving forward!” I hear someone yell in Russian. We’re just entering the treeline as more men flood around us and then break into smaller groups. Everything is so completely chaotic and yet seemingly rehersed.

My lungs burn and for a moment I forget how cold it is outside. Adrenaline and panic fight with eachother as I try to distinguish what to focus on. So much is happening. I completely forget about my father’s grip on my arm.

“Y/n,” he braces my shoulders, encouraging me to look at him. His eyes are wide with excitement. I feel like I’m going to be sick looking at him. “Everything is going to be alright dear, we’ll escape to the trucks. Alright? Just follow me, okay?” I manage a small nod.

I’m yanked forward as we run through the trees. The group of men with us switched from those on the field and now there are only four additional Ultranationalists escorting us. I don’t know how long my father pulls me along for. It feels like miles and hours, but can’t be more than a few minutes.

A loud eruption shakes the ground as snow and dirt fly through the air and a tree crashes beside us. Holy fuck, that was close.

Smoke clouds the air as people shout and bullets fly. The scene can only be described as a deadly, gorilla clusterfuck with the goal of taking out as many people from the other side as possible. We are in an incredibly dangerous position.

Just as the thought crosses my mind, one of the escorts is shot in the leg and drops to the ground. Red stains the snow around him. My father yells in Russian to keep going.

We weave through the thick pines and any sense of direction I once had is gone. My heart thunders in my chest.

A loud shot rings through the air and another Ultranationalist drops to the ground. A second shot sends a bullet through his skull.

Someone is following us. Stalking us. Toying with us. My gut turns.

For a second, I wonder if it’s a sniper.

Then, a knife comes flying through the air, lodging itself into the back of the third of my father’s men.

It’s in this moment, I know exactly who is after us. After me.

The last soldier turns around and fires blindly into the trees behind us. As soon as his clip is empty and he pauses to reload, a single bullet pummels through the trees and it too, pierces his skull and stains the snow a brilliant red. His body slumps to the ground with a muffled thump.

My father pushes us behind the trunk of a large tree and grips his handgun in both hands. He doesn’t need to tell me to be quiet. I don’t think I could make a sound if I tried.

The sounds of gunfire and explosions echo in the distance, but there’s nothing close to us like there was before. The majority of the fighting is taking place closer to the air strip.

The only place Ghost ever struggled with stealth, is in the snow. There’s no technology in the world that’ll muffle the sound of his footsteps strategically approaching the tree we’re hiding behind. You can hear the frigidness in the air as the crunching snow gets louder. He’s close.

“Throw your weapons to the side of the tree and then slowly step out with your hands in the air,” Ghost’s demanding voice fills the air. A dissatisfied grumble ripples through my father’s chest. I shift to move from behind the tree and a large hand snags the back of my vest, pulling me back.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he hisses.

I bite my tongue. He doesn’t know Ghost like I do. There’s no escaping him. The best I can hope for is that he doesn’t want to kill either of us.

“I won’t repeat myself,” his voice sounds closer already. I can imagine him on the other side of the tree with his assault riffle pointed in our direction. Part of me wants to believe he wouldn’t fire on us. But I honestly don’t know anymore.

“Forgive me darling,” the hushed words come as my father wraps his arms around me from behind. He pulls me against his chest and presses the barrel of his gun to my temple before stepping out from behind the tree.

“What the fuck are you doing?” the panicked words bubble up my throat as I try and escape his deathly grasp. I twist and throw my weight around, but it’s no use. Even with one hand occupied, he’s simply too strong. “Let go!” The barrel of the gun bumps against my head as hysteria begins to cloud my better judgement.

Just feet away, Ghost stands with his weapon aimed directly at me. At some point he clipped the riffle to his vest and switched to his handgun. Behind the daunting skull mask, his narrowed eyes calculate our every move with extreme precision.

I’ve heard the rumors about Ghost. Caught wind of whispers detailing the horrors he’s capable of. I’ve even witnessed some of the brutality myself working as his translator. Yet none of that cruelty was ever directed toward me. Now, I find myself looking directly down the barrel of his gun. There is no escaping Ghost’s wrath. There’s no escaping my father’s wrath.

“Put the gun down,” he calmly instructs my father. There’s something different about his voice. Something tense. I notice a stiffness about his posture that isn’t usually there. I’m not the only one who picks up on his behaviour either.

“So that bastard was right,” spite laces my father’s voice. His hot words travel down the back of my neck as his arm wraps tighter around my chest. “You’re fucking him, aren’t you?”

I blink. My mouth dries up and I’m left speechless. How the hell does he know? How did Bennet know? Who else knows?

“No, dad-” the words start to tumble out of my mouth.

“Don’t lie to me, little bird,” his tone is venomous. I’m a traitor to him. Sleeping with his enemy. “You fucking whore.”

Tears prick my eyes. His words stun me and I can’t help the self loathing that weighs down my shoulders.

“Let her go or I’ll shoot,” fearful tremors shake my body. My vision starts to blur with emotion. I’ve never felt so scared in my life. I truly may not survive this.

“Then what?” he sneers “You’ll kill me anyways.”

“If you don’t, your wife will die,” the ultimatum is clear. “Is she really worth it?” Ghost’s words sting like never before. I wish one of them would make a decision, put me out of my misery.

Then, as if without thinking at all, my father releases me from his grip and takes a large step back. My weak knees barely hold my shaking body and when I turn around to face him, I truly don’t recognize the man in front of me anymore. Hundreds of burning questions ache for air, but the only one that escapes my lips begs for the devastating truth.

“Do you- do you even love me?” I force myself to make eye contact with him. From the very start of this horrifying journey, something has been missing. Like I was trying to read a misprinted book.

My father purses his lips and furrows his brows. I know the answer when our eyes meet. Not now. Certainly not after betraying him like he thinks I did. He inhales like he’s about to answer when three deafening gunshots pierce the air. I feel the bullets whiz through the air beside my head and watch as one tears through my father’s arm and two hit him in the shoulder. His gun falls to the ground and his eyes buldge as he realizes what just happened.

Ghost rushes past me and tackles my father to the ground. He forces his arms behind his back, despite the bleeding wounds, and zipties his hands together. He groans empty threats, but they’re so muffled I can’t make them out. None of this feels real. Every part of my body feels numb and full of static. Breathing becomes increasingly difficult.

Ghost stuffs my father’s mouth with a gag and then covers his head with a black bag. I try to tune out the harrowing sounds of his muffled moans and the distant gunfire and explosions. I feel a panick attack building under the surface of my skin. This is all too much. My knees finally give in.

“Y/n? Y/n,” Ghost’s voice softens as he abandons my father for me. His gloved hands are gentle as they embrace both sides of my head. I flinch away from his touch, causing him to falter. “You’re safe y/n, I won’t let anyone hurt you. You’re safe,” he crouches to the ground beside me and pulls me against his bulky chest. I missed feeling his warmth so damn bad. I want to trust him. God do I want to, but all he does is lie to me. “We just have to get closer to the runway. Then the extraction team will get us out of here,” he strokes my hair as he speaks.

I’m not ready when he pulls us up from our position on the ground, but there’s no time to be ready. Every second we waste in the forest - in Ultranationalist territory - is another second we risk running into more of their soldiers.

Someone is going to notice my father’s absence, if they haven’t already. And they will come looking, if they haven’t already. In which case we are in even more danger.

Ghost lifts my father to his feet and forces him to walk, at times roughly pushing him ahead. Watching them makes my stomach twist into a knot. I can’t believe I haven’t thrown up yet.

He switches the handgun for his automatic riffle again and uses the sight to scope out the surrounding woods.

I have no idea where we are, yet Ghost seems to know the exact path to our destination.

Twice, he takes out multiple men in the distance before they can spot us, but our treck back is otherwise eerily silent.

I don’t remember waiting for the chopter or boarding or the ride back to Latvia. But I do remember the pained sounds escaping my father’s chest as he sits across from me, still blindfolded.

I completely forgot about Soap’s absence admidst clusterfuck of everything else going on. That’s until I hear another member of the task force briefing Ghost on a separate attack they planned to take place while the exchange was happening. The whirling of the helicopter makes it almost impossible make out their words, but Ghost’s eyes give away everything.

“He was injured sir. Badly. He lost a lot of blood on the way back to base and they didn’t have the equipment to operate in the air,” I feel my heart rate pick up and watch as Ghost completely freezes.

I don’t hear what Ghost asks him next. I do however, see the soldier shake his head with remorse.

Dread consumes me.

#simon riley #cod ghost #ghost imagine #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #cod #he knows

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sanest-bsd-delegate · 1 year ago

Text

Alternatives

Headcanon: Parent! Reader with Teen! Dazai, Chuuya and Akutagawa A/N: Ch 109 made me write this.

MASTERLIST

✧Dazai

⤷Humm I mean look at him? He screams attachment issues. I am pretty sure he hides the fact he wants affection, but lets be honest Parent's instant and He gets a hug.

⤷As a kid, he would be the type of person (kid?) who gets sugarrush just by taking one piece of candy. Lets be honest, the minute he eats one, its the time your whole house is covered in glitter and gold.

⤷He has difficulty opening up his thoughts, or rather, sharing his real views on anything, but I feel like he would have once in a while mental breakdowns and you can do nothing but hug your kid, and support him. (He is adoptive kay?)

⤷He LOVES whatever you make for him. He would be the type of person who would never skip a meal when it comes to you eating with him as a family.

⤷GIVE HIM HUGS PILLOW AND KISSES.

⤷A LOTS OF GOODNIGHT KISSES

⤷You read him a bedtime story. (You cant deny that)

⤷He once got kicked in his nuts as a kid, and honestly you cant blame the kid, your son's actions are questionable [PLEASE]

⤷You both will have Parent-son hangouts, considering how much you both tend to drift apart due to work.

⤷You once had a breakdown in front of him and he gives the warmest hugs.

⤷As he grows, (and you grow older) I feel like he would just randomly lift you from the floor and twirl you around.

⤷Also, he is the person who would prob come up to you in the middle of the night and say, "Mama/Dada I peed on the bed" (I cant stop laughing writing this)

(I wouldnt comment on his um depression cause cant we have a genuine fluff headcanon?)

✧Chuuya

⤷A pure good boy

⤷He doesnt like to disappoint you which is honestly cute and concerning

⤷I think he might as well get valadation issues.

⤷And anger issues. He is just built that way

⤷"YOU DONT UNDERSTAND MY PAIN" Phase

⤷Probably had a jewellery obsession phase in middle school. But you wouldn't blame him, everyone has concerning phases in middle school.

⤷You and him have movie nights.

⤷He gets annoyed when you give him a goodnight kiss on forehead, but secretly love it.

⤷As a kid, he would prob try to hide his crying whenever he got hurt, but you could see his eyes holding back tears. You just look at him and go over him, holding his hand while kissing it, saying the boo-boo while go away. (He thought you had magical kisses to heal wounds till 6th grade)

⤷He might as well have nightmares, but that doesnt stop him from waking you up at the middle of the night, (even though he will hesitate) and sleep with you.

⤷Kid! Chuuya would probably love playing dress ups and now he regrets it because everytime he finds an old albumn, he will see himself in a pink tutu.

⤷He was once being bullied in school because of his height, and he kicked the guy in his nuts. #neverbeensoproud You gave him icecream as a treat.

⤷You accidently caught him drinking wine when he was a teen in highschool. Now you have two options, either go bizzare or drink with him.

✧Akutagawa

⤷ 10/10 had an emo phase in middle school

⤷You once opened his music app and well you know...

⤷He doesnt like when you waste money on him, like why are you even buying him merch of his favorite band??

⤷He doesnt speak much with you, he is a quite kid of the school.

⤷He aces his test, like full?

⤷Yeah even he got validation issues, but severe.

⤷Okay but why can I imagine him as a kid, he would probably enter your room in the middle of the night [he gets scared or nightmare occurs] and just stare at your sleeping figure questioning whether to wake you up or not. Ofcourse, being a parent you became a light sleeper, so imagining your kid staring at you at the middle of night is something-

⤷He believes EVERYTHING you say. Monster in the closet? Monster under bed manifesting if he doesn't sleeps? YES EVERYTHING.

⤷My little baby just needs a lots of hugs.

⤷Okeh buts its honestly so sweet of him to try bake a cake for you when its your birthday.

⤷He can cook, he can clean he can cough

⤷He would randomly come to you and give/get a hug from you while you try to process why your 'don't touch me' kid was hugging you

⤷He might as well be stealing eyeliners from you or buying it secretly.

⤷Also you regret opening his search history. (Don't ask)

A/N: AHHHHH I know this is like short and stuff but I literally have angst ideas at the moment and seeing the fandom condition i am speechless. I mean you all just made #bungou stray dogs trending on tumblr. P.s Chapter 109 made me loss my ability to write.

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andhumanslovedstories · 1 year ago

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Just watched an episode of Columbo (Last Salute to the Commodore) with pacing so floppy and nonsensical that it looped back around towards the avant garde. Fascinating.

There’s so many unnecessary scenes that go on forever that’s it’s a genuine competition to pick out the most useless one. I think it’s a tie between Columbo teaching another cop how to drive his car and Columbo trying and failing for five minutes to sit crisscross applesauce. He’s at full max lumbo the entire episode. He disregards personal space so much he both sits in another man’s lap and also has another man sit in his. He gets an inexperienced scuba diver to swim a mile in the dark at night on a channel that they just finished discussing is dangerous to swim in, and when the scrubs diver pops up on the other side, Columbo’s like “hey what’s your name.” Columbo!! You made scuba dive for a mile in the dark! He just told you this is his fourth day scubaing!

The final parlor scene takes about two hours and fourteen props to reveal the killer as that guy I remembered from that scene where the best suspect of the episode—a perpetually drunk rich disaster woman whose job is to be sloppy and say “daddy”—has an emotional breakdown in a public yacht club, and then this guy goes back to?? playing piano?? As the entire crowd watches a woman have a mental breakdown while being questioned for murder. At the end of the episode, and this is true!!!, Columbo just gets in a boat and starts paddling across the water while his baffled colleagues watch him go. He boards so slowly and precariously and he paddles for so long before someone is like “dude where the fuck are you going” and then pops up “directed by the guy who made the cult classic, The Prisoner, a piece of media you might now as being good,” and now the ten hour experimental collage of scenes where Peter Falk giving it 11/10 is finally over. It’s probably the worst episode of Columbo I’ve seen, but almost to the point where I might genuinely recommend it.

#Columbo #last salute to the commodore is. not a good one.

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nevermoreconfessions · 4 months ago

Note

can it be said red is a sensitive person now after that horrible display of immaturity and lack of personal accountability last night or would it still be considered hate and question whether 'i like the comic' ?

Trigger Warning. This post involves sensative topics.

Below is a detailed explanation from my perspective of the "Discord Situation," as someone who was actively witnessing it.

No, it's not hate. No, it's not a question on if you "like" the comic. It's criticism. It's valid. It's needed. Please do not misconstrued my rule. Thank you.

Okay, with that out if the way, let's talk about it, because there's a lot of people who don't really understand what happened. Let's break that down, first.

Note: I will not provide screenshots at this time. I don't want anybody to send hate in anybody's way. Please respect that.

I'll provide the facts first and my opinions later because there's a lot of misinterpretation on all sides.

In a separate Nevermore-based server, an 18/19 year old Nevermore Discord person sent NSFW content in an all-ages server. The Mods were informed about this via heavily censored screenshots that blocked the users of the victims and the NSFW content itself.

Upon hearing this, the Mods banned the accused. The accused appealed, saying that they "didn't know" that it was an all-ages server; the Mods relented and unbanned the Accused based upon the fact that the "evidence" was heavily censored, and to them, the accused seemed genuinely embarrassed and remorseful.

This all led to last night.

Last night, the Accused spoke up in West Common Room. In response, someone who was involved in the accusation made a public response, asking why a "known pedo" was unbanned. Thus, a lot of people who were unaware of the situation were suddenly made aware with a very limited amount of information: that a "pedophile" was in the server.

Red and the Mods step in, because holy shit.

Multiple people begin asking what's happening. Many get emotional. Many start throwing names and fighting. It was hectic.

Worse: evidence was thrown into the server that the Mods were not aware of. Again, the Mods were only handed heavily censored evidence, and when they spoke to the accused, there wasn't enough solid proof to made a move.

Okay. Things go severely south from here.

Red starts stressing out; it was a breakdown live on text. Multiple people are attacking her, the Mods, and other people stepping in. The words "bitch," "shut the fuck up," and others were tossed around.

Red says a lot of bad things that are inexcusable, as did plenty of other people. It was immature.

Eventually, the Mods get all of the evidence that people were throwing into the server, plus more behind the scenes. They were all on the consensus that the Accused did, actually, know the ages of the people in the server and still sent inappropriate content. They took measures and banned them.

Now, things calm down. Flynn handled things pretty well, based on what I saw her say. Granted, I logged off for a hot minute due to being overwhelmed. She handled it with grace, explained what was happening, and answered questions for full transparency.

Everything is now "settled" in the sense that things have calmed down, and people are back to talking about random things.

Okay. Time for my opinions, and these might be controversial.

First of all, this should've been done in private. It's such a triggering conversation that multiple people were uncomfortable with; there were attacks made on Red and Flynn, as well as others who tried to dispel the situation.

I've got some related trauma. I'm not going to talk about it. With that being said, it was all hard for me to read and witness.

Second, Red was wildly inappropriate with her response. She said awful things. So did multiple other people. Calling her a "pedophile defender" was... a lot. She was under the (incorrect) assumption that the Accused was, well, just really fucking stupid and made a terrible mistake. Thus, she lashed out.

She should not have said the things she said, but on the other hand, being called a "Pedophile Defender" would send me into a spiral, too. This isn't me defending her, by the way, I think she was terribly immature, like you said.

Red needs to apologize. I mean, really apologize; she needs to realize what she said was wrong, despite it being said in a blind fit of stress and anger. Emotions are not an excuse.

But, let's be honest here, a lot of the people calling out the Mods were minors who, also, were in a blind rage. They couldn't see that this wasn't the right way to go about it. That's fine; I hope this is a learning moment for them.

I think the most severe mistake here was tossing accusations and evidence in the server that the Mods were never given. If they had been given that before, this situation probably wouldn't have happened.

I am speaking as someone who watched this all go down. If there is something that I got wrong, or if someone would like to add on, please do. This is complicated and I'm just a girl on the internet.

EDIT:

I'd like to also say thank you to the people that spoke up. I know it was hard, but you knew it was wrong and you called it out. While I do wish it hadn't exploded in the way it did, I truly mean it: thank you. You're braver than you know.

#nevermore confessions #nevermore server

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nishloves · 1 year ago

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seventeen boyfriend headcannons;;

some of the points might be inspired by other headcannons I read before writing this ~

(performance unit)

HOSHI

would be your personal hype boy (man), expect kisses all day around, random back hugs and little whispers where he tells you just how beautiful you are inside and out, short child like banters and minimal arguments because he really can't be happy while knowing that you're upset at something which he did, or said; even if there was an argument he would probably try to talk to you and hug you in the process, reminding himself how absolutely worse he feels when he fights with you. He would sulk, he would get angry and maybe not talk to you for a while but, he would come back, because he misses you just that much.

Passionate and would 100% take you out on very random dates to sweet shops/cafes and more, would probably be very shy internally but would act like your little musings and quirks doesn't faze him at all, while his heart would be performing cartwheels, he just so absolutely loves you and adores you.

Would probably facetime you like twice-thrice a day when you or he himself is away.

Can't handle long term long distance relationships, not because he doesn't love you, but because he can't handle himself and misses you all day long, which may make his mood dampen.

"babe, you know I love you right?"

"yeah ofcourse."

"you're the most beautiful person I have met."

"thankyou, love."

"please hug me."

"soonyoung, you don't have to ask— I love you."

JUNHUI

Gentleman in the day and wild beast at night? Would be probably very reserved at the start of your relationships, would look at you doing funny random things and adore you, after a couple of months, when he has loosened up enough the roles would be reversed and you would be the one looking at his antics. At the start of the relationship he would giggle or chuckle shyly when you do something flirtatious or anything suggestive, after a while he would just stare at you and be like "you asked for it love, and you get it" how did you turn this reserved pup into a wolf in like five minutes?

Lazy dates, Netflix and chill, cuddling and talking, stargazing, small picnics.

Would actually try to never get angry at you, he doesn't trust himself to be rational at that time and he never wants to hurt you ever, during fights he would raise his voice and then after the fight, when you're gone or he is gone or like you both aren't speaking for a while, he would have a breakdown, and then genuinely try to clear things up.

Moody asf but will always adore you.

Would want to facetime you a lot but, wouldn't know when to? When he's busy, you're free and when you're busy he is free. Can handle a long distance relationship.

"y/n?"

"yeah?"

"you know you're absolutely amazing, right?"

"ofcourse jun—"

"I broke your favorite crockery—"

MINGHAO

Absolutely crazy at times but still the calmer one in the relationship, would be so savage and roast tf out of you, yet absolutely love you on the other side. Wouldn't agree to a relationship if he doesn't see any future and at times he would just zone out while looking at you, the way your hair tresses your face and how your eyes would twinkle at that one thing— he would be absolutely sure to capture everything.

While meditating, sometimes he will have thoughts of you and that will make him smile.

Would care about your well being the most, had an argument? Would try to cool down at first, take breaths, and when you will not shut up, he will snap, and snap hard then it would be harder for him to cool down, but the moment he's fine he would be like 'shit, is y/n okay?'.

Calm dates at museums, nature (not hiking), would want to spend more relaxed time with you in his vulnerable state. Shopping sprees too!

Can handle long distance relationships, communicate and find time spaces where he can facetime you or call you, would miss you terribly but would be content knowing that you're doing well.

"hao?"

"hmm?"

"what are you looking at?"

"your eyes."

"my eyes?"

"they are pretty, very pretty."

DINO

he would baby you a little tbh, coddle you and care for you like you're the most precious thing he has (kinda true tbh), he would want to be taken seriously by you and would want you to listen to him, try to assert his dominance at times but will never over do it, he just wants to show that he's manly. you would never be able to grasp when he's feeling shy or when he's feeling absolutely confident; somedays even your small kisses can make him feel flustered but somedays, he will makeout with you and walk out with a huge smirk plastered on his face.

Fun, adventurous dates; skydiving, amusement parks, arcades, you name it. Would like to get drunk with you, and talk shit and then pass out, would love waking up while seeing your face.

He would try to avoid conflicts, and during conflicts would probably be the one who gives cold shoulders to others and refuses to talk, would get mad when he sees that you're showing no chances of relenting because deep in heart, he really wants to pounce on you and hug you, would keep up with the game until one of you breaks and just hugs the others, he would literally forget everything in a millisecond.

Probably can handle long distance relationships but, would miss you so dearly at times and almost feel like he lost interest because he wouldn't want to call, but whenever he hears your voice even on a call, he realises just how much he adores you.

"dino?"

"babe?"

"I can't climb anymore!"

"come on! Just a few more steps!"

"carry me instead."

"what?"

"carry me or I will kiss you so hard that you will be unable to breathe again."

"I will carry you, but you're still gonna kiss me."

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byizoyas · 2 years ago

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SPECIAL 01 — boyfriend hc with: kaeya.

i. his love language

acts of service. whenever he thinks of you, he thinks of your comfort. if you’re sick, he’ll cook for you. if you sleep to his place, he’ll buy you your favorite breakfast and will bring it to bed. if you’re tired he’ll offer a massage (and he’s also super good at it). basically; kaeya only wants you to feel good so he’s doing his best to help whenever you need it.

ii. the small attentions he gives you

kaeya is a romantic soul, so of course he gives you lots of his affection through small attentions that he knows will please you. he writes you love letters sometimes, and sends them with a bouquet of your favorite flowers. he likes to cuddle you a lot, especially when you’ve spent a hard day; and when it happens you don’t even need to ask anything from him because he’s already doing his best to make you forget about it.

iii. how did he confess his love to you

kaeya kept his feelings to himself for a while until it was enough. you came to his place, you were feeling down and having a mental breakdown. you kept on repeating how you were alone and how no one wanted you and he just couldn’t hide it any longer. he couldn’t let you feel that way, when he knew what you felt wasn’t the reality. he wiped your tears, looked into your eyes before smiling gently and whispered a few ‘i love you’’s into your ears.

iv. what does he like the most about you

what seduced him is your smile. he’s struggling to feel genuine happiness but somehow whenever he sees that bright smile illuminate your face he immediately feels better. just like the sun lights up the world, you do it for him. you make him feel happy for an ephemeral moment but it’s enough, you are more than enough to him, because your smile got a special effect on him and that is why he keeps on trying to make you.

v. nsfw

kaeya is always super gentle with you, ofc he got a kinky side too but he always put you first and wants you to feel good. he got a special playlist for when things get spicy between the two of you. he respects your kinks and if you ever feel comfortable enough to share your fantasies with him he’ll do his best to please you.

vi. which song does he listen to thinking of you

it’s you – ali gatie.

vii. does he use pet names

if you rlly like it he might try to find original pet names to surprise you but he most likely uses love, cause it’s a simple one but soft enough and it fits his personality.

viii. what was your first date like

he probably took you out on a fancy restaurant with a breathtaking view, preparing himself to look good only for you even though in his head, he was absolutely not as stunning as you were. he spent the night staring at you with sparkles in the eye, his thumb caressing the back of your hand over the table. the night was perfect for both of you, and in the end he even took you home, to make sure you got back to your place safely.

ix. your first kiss

kaeya looked at you. he had just confessed, but you were too surprised to actually say anything. he felt like words weren’t enough so he wiped the few tears that wouldn’t stop coming out of your eyes and approached slowly. the moment was genuinely comforting, and you only closed your eyes, allowing him to kiss your lips which he did right away. his right hand caressed your neck gently. you didn’t separate for a few minutes, making out on his couch. it was hot and soft at the same time; you both craved it and it showed because no one would pull away from the other.

x. random texts

#byizoyas.#KAEYA #kaeya x y/n #kaeya x reader #kaeya x you #kaeya hcs #kaeya fluff #kaeya smau #genshin x y/n #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin hcs #genshin fluff

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horrorslu7 · 2 years ago

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Can you do a Billy Loomis x reader where the reader breaks up with him and Billy tries to win them back?

Hii, thanks for requesting! I hope you like this. It turned quite dark but you know it's Billy so.

Kiss and make up.

Summary: Billy and the reader have been in quite a rocky relationship since the beginning and the reader really thinks that fight was the last fight but Billy thinks otherwise and he always has to be right.

Pairing: Billy Loomis x fem!reader.

Trigger warnings: Manipulation, death, suicide mention.

You and Billy always had fights. At the beginning of the relationship it wasn't that bad, or at least that's what you would tell your concerned friends.

You have been together for 7 months now and it was almost like every month Billy fought you more and more about minimal things. Like your guy friends "talking to you too much", or you girlfriends "telling you to hang out too much and never letting you spend time with Billy".

But it was hard to get mad at him, you two fought all the time but he was one of the people that always made you feel better, he might hurt you but he was also your main comfort source.

This time was different though you haven't seen your best friends for a month almost because you were too busy hanging out and having study dates with Billy.

So when your friends invited you to the movies you obviously said yes but sooner rather than later the moment you most dreaded, the moment of telling Billy about your plans, came.

And you had an awfully big fight that included him saying that your friends aren't good and that they just wanna hang out cause exam season is just around the corner. It broke your heart to hear him say that all your friends wanted you for was just good grades so you decided that this fight, was the last fight.

The next day Billy was really apologetic at school and tried to talk to you many times.

After leaving the books you didn't need in your locker you closed your door just to see him standing there with some flowers and your favorite candy.

"Hey, do you have a minute?" Billy said before giving you the flowers and candy which you took and then sighed.

"No I don't, actually I'm running late to a study date with my selfish friends." You answered shooting back at him the mean words he said about your friends.

You turned around and before you could walk away he took you by your arm and turned you around.

"You know I didn't really mean it, it's just that we had plans for that day and you blew them out just to hang out with your friends that didn't text you in a whole month" he let go of your arm before you had to tell him but you didn't move, you knew you were right but started doubting yourself anyways. "But I do understand that maybe it was a bit out of proportion, I respect your decision but you know I'm always here for you right?"

This was a bit different that your usual fights and it shocked you a bit. He seemed so nice and genuine, but no, you weren't gonna give in so soon.

For almost a week Billy was very nice and respectful, he left you flowers and food you liked in your locker, he would just wave in the hallways and he even helped you out in an assignment you didn't quite get.

That was the week before your friends both died brutally, one of them hanged herself and the other had an awful car accident. The police found some suspicious things in the crime scenes such as signs of a fight on your friend that killed herself and the breaks completely messed up on your other friends car.

But you didn't know that, what you did know is that Billy was always your greatest comfort and now you really needed him.

You knocked on his door trying to hold the tears, you didn't like crying on the sidewalk even though you had all the rights to do so.

He opened the door and automatically let you in and asked how you were.

That was all you needed to breakdown crying and hug him while telling him how bad you felt about what happened.

His arms wrapped around your torso and one of his hands went to caress your hair. "It's okay, none of it is your fault" but he knew that if you never left him, he wouldn't have kill them, not yet at least.

But your sweet Billy was back and ready to comfort you as per usual, he watched all your comfort movies with you, did your homework and helped you for exam season. There's nothing he wouldn't do for you. And you two obviously got back together, why wouldn't you? 7 months and counting.

#billy loomis #billy loomis x reader #scream #scream x reader

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safetycar-restart · 1 year ago

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hiii!! i come to you with a logan and oscar idea, poly or separate, idc. so it’s established that what leads to oscar joining logan and his dom is logan finding him in subspace but alternatively going with the past d/s au, what if logan knew that oscar had this horrible dom and it shattered his heart everytime he thought about it like “i have a good dom, why can’t oscar? oscars good too, why can’t he have good things?”

so this leads to Logan talking to his dom about oscar and his dom saying yes because well all oscar and Logan really want is to be good, at their cores they are good boys. so logan finds oscar and that time and brings him with him back to his dom and at this point they are both sobbing, oscar from his bad drop with his (team assigned) dom and logan because once again he can’t really rationalize in this headspace that oscar can’t have as good a dom as he does. so you end up talking with both of them when they are out of subspace and coming to an agreement that oscar is now your sub. i think that with logan being collared it might cause some issues like internally for oscar, especially when he enters subspace like “am i not good enough to be collared too?” :(. which of course he is and you end up having to have a long conversation with oscar about how you love him just as much as you love logan. and thought number 2 which is far less developed: what do you think logan is like as a little? cause i personally see him as being more laidback, kind of like max but with less trauma. but he still has his moments unlike when he’s not little, little!logan is wayyyyyyyy more hurt by you (his mommy/daddy) talking to other littles. ESPECIALLY ones he feels like are better than him. he’s always afraid you’re going to leave him for a “better” little. feel free to add any of your thoughts (also sorry for any mistakes, english is my third language) -love 🎾anon

Firstly, please know that you guys can always send ideas that don't merge with the 'canon' of our verses! Nothing is set in stone and I love exploring different ideas. Anyway, I love this so much.

I love how pure Logan is about it? He's really just there like 'I good boy, I have good dom. But Oscar good boy? Why no good dom for Oscar? MUST FIX" and that's it. That's far as the plan goes.

He's long since decided that when it comes to anything to do with scening and dynamics, it is your problem. Ever since you collared him, he kinda just tells you his vague thoughts and lets you do the rest cause you're his dom and he trusts you.

So with this, he thought no further than the fact that Oscar deserves a better dom and you are a better dom therefore you must dom Oscar and him together.

Of course you say yes when Logan brought it up to you. Not only because you would do anything to make Logan never look so sad again, but also because you genuinely love Oscar and it breaks your heart to know he's not getting what he needs.

You except Oscar to be upset when he comes to you, but you don't Logan to also be in a breakdown. Logan is just crying and hugging Oscar, mumbling that it isnt fair! Oscar should be with you and him, not some terrible mclaren dom!

Of course hearing this makes Oscar cry even more, because he wants what you and Logan have so bad.

You don't actually scene with them properly, because you havent been able to talk to Oscar about his limits yet and because they're both far too upset. Maybe you let them kneel for you? They get to kneel right next to each other, their legs pressed against each other and they can even hold hands. Within ten minutes they've formed a cuddle pile at your feet and honestly it's just the cutest?

You've got two good boys cuddling at your feet, looking up at you for praise and reassurance.

Oscar spends the night, cuddles between you and Logan and has the best sleep he's had in a long time. You discuss everything in the morning and all of three you realise that Oscar needs to also be your sub.

So that's what happens.

But yeah Oscar definitely has a problem with Logan having a collar, and it's actually so difficult for him to workout what his problem even is? Because he's not upset that Logan is collared, he's happy! He loves watching you and Logan together, and his heart would break if you took Logan's collar away.

But at the same time, his heart just aches sometimes? Cause he... he wants a collar too. He wants to really feel like he belongs to you.

And I think Logan feels really guilty about that? He can see that it's upsetting Oscar and he doesn't know what to do. Oscar just joined, so he knows it's too early for Oscar to be collared, but he also knows that there's no way in hell he's going to take his collar off around Oscar. He hasn't been without a collar for over three years and he's not about to start now, it would break him.

Maybe you get Oscar a play collar? A collar that he only wears during scenes and that he can request to wear around the house too. He can't put his own play collar on, it has to be you that does it and if you aren't there, then it can be Logan but you must order Logan to do it.

Oscar ADORES his play collar, and pretty soon he's always wearing it around the house.

Within two months he's gotten his own day collar, because once he knows what it's like to wear your collar, he doesn't ever want to stop.

Maybe Oscar and Logan get each other bracelets? So it's like they've kinda collared each other too.

LITTLE!LOGAN:

I'm not gonna spend too much time on this because of how long the d/s au idea was, but I do want to say this: I love the idea that he's jealous?

He's actually a pretty independent little, happy to watch cartoons and drink from his sippy cup while you work or chat to another caregiver but the moment you even look at another little, he's pouting and whining and fussing. HE'S your baby boy, no one else!

(Except... except he doesn't mind when you look after Oscar.)

#d/s au #poly!Logan/oscar #sub!Logan #sub!oscar #nsfw.#gn!reader #little!driver/rider #little!logan #lsargeant #oscarp #🎾

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shioritsumi · 4 months ago

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More shit on Shen Tianyu:

-Shang Qingshui and Shen Tianyu have been friends since they were kids, on the grounds of them both being insufferable smart-asses at the time. Only Tianyu's family got the nicest side of him, everyone else got the authoritative snark. They became friend when classmates were complaining to Tianyu about Qingshui being mean and Tianyu just bullied him back. They exchanged insults for ten minutes and for a couple of 8-year olds, that's the equivalent of forming a lifelong friendship vow, practically marriage.

-Shang Qingshui and Shen Tianyu were roommates in college and totally dated at the time. They broke up and got back together no less than five times before Tianyu finally met Lianhua and actually married her. Qingshui was at their wedding and everything. (Lianhua was genuinely concerned for a while he might try to steal her husband. He found the concept hilarious bc why the fuck would he steal Shen Tianyu of all people she's funny.)

-Shang Qingshui is part of why Shen Tianyu got suspended from his job during his breakdown. He attempted their usual office banter, and when Tianyu didn't respond accordingly he got worse and worse until Tianyu snapped and lashed out at him. They've sort of smoothed it over since, but Qingshui isn't the sort of person who apologizes so they kind of just act like it never happened. No, no one understands their friendship. Not even them.

-"are you happy or sad there's no Mobei-jun here?" Shang Qingshui is insulted by both the assumption he'd WANT to see Mobei-jun after he literally was killed by the man in his previous life AND the assumption that there isn't anyone like Mobei-jun in their world at all. (The CEO of a rival company bears a striking resemblance to Mobei-jun and for his part Qingshui is actively trying to stay off his radar, he is NEVER getting put back in the demon spy position ever again and he is never providing his neck for anyone even VAGUELY resembling Mobei-jun.)

-Shen Tianyu used to be involved in martial arts when he was much younger, but eventually quit. He insists it's because he needed the extra time to study for his cram school and prep school and whatnot. Actually he has a highly competitive nature and he accidentally hurt some other kids in class and he was told he could either go to counselling to control his temper when dealing with students at a lower level than him, or he could just...quit. He quit.

-When he does get allowed back to work again, Tianyu's put in charge of training new employees and they start to call him Shizun bc they hear Bingge calling him that and think it fits.

-If they ever manage to meet SQQ and Binghe again, Bingge would definitely try to brag about how he's totally met his perfect shizun and SQQ can't even compare! Then Tianyu opens his mouth and reveals not only is their relationship not some perfect cutesy "housewife Bingge" and "gracious shizun" marriage, Bingge has to keep lecturing Tianyu on self-destructive habits and Tianyu keeps having to remind Bingge to try to be more chill about literally everything.

-Bingge has cut down on most of Tianyu's drinking and self-destructive behavior and despite being 30+, Tianyu has been an absolute BABY about the whole thing. He's allowed to only hold sharp objects when he's cooking, which he doesn't do often anymore because Bingge does that now. Bingge has also taken custody of all of Tianyu's lighters for the same reason as the knives. ("I'd light a lovely scented candle for you, but SOMEONE doesn't trust me with lighters anymore!" "I saw you get drunk and try to burn your tongue once, you're never getting them back.")

-Shen Jiuyuan may secretly be the OG SQQ transmigrated back into the modern world as a small child. Far as everyone knows, Jiuyuan has turned rather anti-social and awkward lately, but this has been attributed his parents' divorce and how ugly their relationship got afterwards. For his part, Shen Tianyu ADORES his son and dotes on him endlessly while Bai Lianhua seems to view her son as means to an end at this point.

What Tianyu can't fully understand is why his young son is so nervous around his new boyfriend Bingge. Is he scared bc Bingge is big and muscular and also new? Kids can be scared when new people come into their parents' lives, right? He's pretty sure the counsellor mentioned that, so as long as he reassures Jiuyuan that Bingge isn't going to replace him and he's still going to have time for him, it'll be okay, right?

Meanwhile from Jiuyuan's perspective: that is LUO BINGHE. His op disciple, the spirit of karmic vengeance, the man who took his arms and legs and sworn brother and even his LIFE and now he's the doting protective boyfriend to Jiuyuan's brand new dad???? What the fuck?

-there's a lot of OG people from PIDW around Shen Tianyu and for all his memorization of the story, Tianyu appears to be the only one who should notice who hasn't. (the rival CEO who looks like Mobei-jun may in fact actually BE the OG Mobei-jun, who knows.)

#svsss au

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alterrune · 1 month ago

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Albert: Somethings wrong, be careful, the hospitals layout is shifting!

(The walls and hallways of the hospitals begin to shift around, before a wall blocks off Alter, Violent, Laurence, and Morgana from Kyle, Henry, Ellie, and Teddie)

Albert: The layout has changed, there's stairwells on both of your sides, you'll have to use them to continue moving up the hospital. Again, be aware of traps and shadows, it's becoming much more dangerous here.

(Albert notices some of the signs and painting decorations on the walls after scanning the area)

Albert: These paintings, there all of Lily's memories, the bad ones unfortunately, this entire place are projections of Lily's fear for the worst outcomes because of her after all, so... you might come across more projections of her thoughts. The staircase requires you all solve a puzzle to access it... you might want to take a glace at Lily's memories when you have the chance. Watch over Laurence okay, some of these memories he likely wouldn't want to see,

O-Okay, I can help you. I'm pretty sure you have to go up the stairs with the paintings depicting something that actually happened to her. Lily always told me whenever something bad happened to her, and I remember what they are because I comforted her afterwards.

(We begin climbing up the stairwells. Laurence seems to be becoming less and less stable after each stairwell, but when we get to the last one, it REALLY breaks him...)

No.

No, no, no.

No, no, no, no, no, no!

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!!

(...because it's a depiction of the exact moment Laurence shot Lily. However, Laurence suddenly sprints away and RUNS INTO THE WRONG STAIRWAY ON PURPOSE.)

NO, YOU SICK FUCKING BASTARD OF A SHADOW!!! I REFUSE TO LET THAT BE THE DAMNED ANSWER!!!

(We can't stop him. Luckily, what he did doesn't end up resetting our progress or get us kicked out of the dungeon.)

Guys, I'll get him back here. Stay here and let me handle things.

I'm POSITIVE, Teddie. Laurence needs help, and I'm gonna give it to him.

(I quickly run up and follow Laurence. A fuckload of shadows are surrounding him, as he lies on the floor, crying in fetal positi---wait a minute. Holy fucking shit, he's having a full-on mental breakdown. I have to stop this, and I know just how to do it.)

J-JUST FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY!!! FINISH THE F-FUCKING JOB!!! WHY ARE YOU T-TORMENTING ME BY L-LETTING ME LIVE?!?!

LAURENCE!!!

(Laurence suddenly looks up after I shouted his name, and sees me. I run over to come up close to him.)

K-Kyle...? What are you doing here? This is my punishment.

No it fucking ain't. Listen, Laurence. I know you have PTSD from that whole event. But I know how it feels to have a family member die. In fact, it happened to me twice.

My grandfather passed away due to "health complications" (the details are fuzzy on the specifics), and my step-grandfather passed away due to cancer. I miss both of them, but constantly hanging onto that memory isn't good for you. But at the same time, neither is just trying to just straight-up discard it, either. It'll always come back to you.

Do you know what I do with those memories? Turn them into ways to push myself forward. Instead of constantly grieving over them, I make sure whatever I do, I do it for them. And I'm damn well sure that I've made them proud of me.

And remember, you still have Lily. She's just known as Kynn Lee now, remember? You may be grieving over someone who "died" in your eyes, but she's been essentially reincarnated now. You don't have to grieve over someone who's still alive.

Now, how about you stop being a big ol' ding-dong-dumbass and help me kill these Shadows so we can get the fuck outta this death trap?

(Laurence stands up and gives me a genuine smile.)

You're right, Kyle. Whatever happened then isn't important right now. What matters is what we do right here and now. ORPHEUS!

Alright, now we're talking. MAGATSU-IZANAGI!

(Orpheus and Magatsu-Izanagi stand behind us as we prepare to use a skill that will ensure we get back to the others. That move is...)

MEGIDOLAON!!!

(...the Almighty skill, Megidolaon, of course! We quickly cast it at the same time, leaving no shadows left. It's two Megidolaons going off at the exact same time, do you really expect survivors?)

C'mon, Kyle. Let's head back to the others.

(We quickly head back through the same doorway. Everyone is relieved to see us back.)

Oh thank GOD, you two are alright! We were starting to get worried!

Yeah. What happened when you went the wrong way, anyways?

Turns out the wrong set of stairs had a metric fuckton of shadows behind it.

We managed to fight them off, though.

Actually, thanks to Kyle, I'm better than ever. Let's get the hell off of this never-ending staircase, everyone.

(Laurence then heads up, with everyone following suit. Teddie and Morgana stop me for a moment, however.)

Happy to be of assistance. He already heard that message once before, I just gave him a reminder. Regardless, let's get going.

(Teddie, Morgana, and I then leave out of the final stairwell, ending this never-ending staircase climb once and for all...as well as Laurence coming out of that whole experience feeling leagues better than he did before.)

#altering the outcome #ato: shadow hunt #ask irl!alterrune #ask the ato cast #the colorstreak battalion

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blogger360ncislarules · 6 months ago

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Bazinga! That’s a wrap on CBS’ “Young Sheldon,” as the hit comedy prequel to “The Big Bang Theory” bid adieu with its final two installments after seven seasons and 141 episodes on Thursday. Though a lot of details were known going into the series finale – that Sheldon’s (Iain Armitage) father George (Lance Barber) had died off-screen in last week’s episode, that “Big Bang” alums Jim Parsons (as adult Sheldon) and Mayim Bialik (as his wife Amy) would appear and that 14-year old Sheldon would be heading to Caltech – the episodes still delivered surprises and a slew of Easter eggs.

Predictably, the first episode, “Funeral,” is probably the heaviest, most dramatic episode in the series’ run, and as executive producer Steve Holland tells Variety, striking the balance between comedy and drama was “the most challenging thing” — he credits his usually funny cast for bringing the dramatic chops to pull it off. The show also had to navigate such things as finding a way to get the uber-busy Reba McEntire in for a quick cameo, and just how much they should show George in his funeral casket.

The challenges didn’t stop there, as the final episode, “Memoir,” not only had to include Sheldon’s final days before heading to Caltech, but also the much-hyped appearance of Parsons and Bialik that ended up being much more than the end-of-episode cameo one might expect. Instead, their part of the episode gave shape to the entire “Young Sheldon” series. Holland also provided insight into who’s responsible for naming the “Georgie and Mandy’s First Marriage” spinoff and roughly when that multi-cam series will pick up when it premieres this fall on CBS.

Here, Holland covers all those things — and more.

Given that George’s funeral is a big part of this episode, can you talk about tonally balancing drama and comedy?

Honestly, what we found getting into editing was we ended up pulling jokes out that felt out of tone. We were trying to be conscious of the fact that it’s a comedy, and also trying to be honest about this family and their emotions and not be glib about it.

The original script wasn’t jokey, but had more jokes in it than ended up. And as we were going through it and watching them and editing, they just felt tone deaf. They felt out of place for the seriousness of the moment. I still think there are some laughs to be had in there, but we were really fine-tuning that balance right up into the end. What we found was we had earned the right with this episode to not have to rely on jokes all the time. We could let the audience feel, and I think the audience who has lived with this family for seven years will also feel this loss. It’s OK to let people feel bad and feel genuine grief for a few minutes.

And everyone from Iain, Raegan Revord, Montana Jordan, Zoe Perry, Annie Potts — they all delivered on the dramatic moments.

I can’t say enough about this cast. I hope they get their due recognition at some point, because they are top to bottom, great. But to be able to be funny and then to be able to deliver an episode like this one — every cutaway to Raegan [Missy Cooper] in that funeral scene I find devastating. And Montana [Georgie Cooper] as a character and a person is definitely more stoic and controlled but his quiet pain when he’s talking to his dad’s casket is so real.

Then the moment where Zoe [Mary Cooper] breaks down, and Annie [Connie “MeeMaw” Tucker] has to get up and try to turn the funeral around with some humor. I think it’s just a masterclass that Annie Potts pulled off so amazingly. And those were such difficult days. We were in that church shooting the funeral for two full days, and it was two full days of genuine tears on and off camera.

Let’s back up to earlier in the episode when Sheldon plays out the different scenarios with that last moment with George, since he didn’t get to say goodbye.

It felt really relatable to us, and it also felt very Sheldon to us that he would try to go back and maybe rewrite and figure out his alternate time timelines of what he had done. And it also was part of the conception when we were writing George’s last moments to give him no last moment with his dad so that he could have that little bit of regret.

For Sheldon, the way he processes emotions is a little bit differently, and I think he’s processing that regret by trying to go back and relive it in different ways and try to figure out how else it could have played out. And to the outside world, and to his sister especially, it looks like he’s being callous and heartless and not grieving — but it’s how he processes his grief internally. We sort of got to have our cake and eat it, too, a little bit. He gets to get up and give his eulogy, but he never actually got up and gave his eulogy. And that felt very real to us as well, that in that moment, at that age, he wouldn’t be able to process his grief enough to stand up in front of people and talk about his dad. But as an adult, looking back, he wishes he had.

You guys got Reba McEntire, who recurred as June, ex-wife to Craig T. Nelson’s Dale, back for one quick moment as she drops food off at the house, as people do after a major death. Was that tough to make happen?

Her schedule was crazy, and she was actually shooting her pilot [“Happy’s Place,” which NBC ordered to series last week] as was Rex Lin, who plays Principal Peterson and is in that pilot, too. But she really wanted to be a part of it, and was like, “If there’s anything I can do, and if we can make the schedule work out…” We said, “We can have you in this one little cameo,” and she was like, “Absolutely!” So she came and did that for us, which was great since they were shooting the pilot and then she was going back and forth to “The Voice.”

Going back to the funeral, seeing George in his open casket was effective, even if we don’t see his face too much. What did Lance Barber think about that?

Lance all along wanted to be a part of the funeral scene, so he wanted to be in the casket. And to lighten the mood, he did have a fart machine in the casket that he would fire off from time to time. And then we did have more footage of his face, but I think in editing, and it was [executive producer] Steve Molaro who was like, “I just don’t want to see his face that much. There’s something upsetting about it.” I think it was the right decision. Where you see him from the side, you see him from the back, you get glimpses, but we never really focus on his face in the casket and that actually turned out to be much more powerful than seeing him full on. And it’s really all about the family and their grief and their faces.

Moving into the final episode, I was surprised Jim and Mayim were in it so much! I was expecting maybe them showing up at the very end. Was it always the plan to have them be such a presence in the episode?

It was. That was also a tricky balance. I think that was Chuck’s [Lorre] idea. It’d be great to have them both back — then, as we talked about it, it was finding the balance, because we also didn’t want their story to overwhelm the Coopers’ story. At the end of the day, this is a “Young Sheldon” finale, and we wanted to make sure that we gave our cast their proper send off.

We decided we wanted to use them as more than just a cameo at the end, because we figured that also might be a thing more people expected and it might be able to catch them off guard. Even though they know they’re in the episode, but then you cut to them right in the cold open. I think we found a really good balance for that. Maybe some people expected to see them, but is there a way to still do it and maybe surprise people a little bit? So that’s really nice to hear.

Are we supposed to assume the whole “Young Sheldon” series has been Sheldon writing his memoir, or is that just something for the last episode?

No, in our thought this is what Sheldon’s been doing the whole time, and that’s also why we’re seeing a slightly different version of his dad than he talked about on “Big Bang Theory.” And that last sort of voiceover in the funeral episode where he says he was unfair to his dad for a long time — we talked a lot about that. That’s also maybe some way of Sheldon dealing with his grief about his dad as a young adult is to focus on the bad things. But now that he’s older and has kids of his own, he realizes how unfair he’s been to his dad over the years. So that’s a little bit of the conception of the show — that older Sheldon with kids is looking back on his family in a slightly different light than he did in his early twenties.

Can we assume it’s 2024 when we see Sheldon and Amy or…

I think it’s not. It’s a vague time. We were very careful to be vague and not have anything too specifically dated in the thing. They didn’t have kids at the end of “Big Bang,” so they wouldn’t have had kids till the following year. We’re probably five or six years in the future from now, but it’s a little vague. And we don’t say how old the kids are specifically for that reason also. But it’s probably a few years in our future.

We heard Penny’s (Kaley Cuoco) name when they say that she babysat their daughter. Were there big discussions about who should be mentioned from “Big Bang?”

We didn’t want to go with the whole cast. And we also wanted to keep it on Sheldon and Amy and their kids’ relationship, so it just seemed like a nice coda at the end. And the Sheldon-Penny relationship was always so strong on “Big Bang,” it seemed like a nice way to do it.

And that set [of Sheldon and Amy’s home] was actually super fun, because we actually went through the “Big Bang” set. The original “Big Bang” set is in the museum here at Warner Bros., so we went and raided the museum and took pieces back out of it. We loaded the set with little nods and Easter eggs and things from the apartment and things from “Young Sheldon” and from “Big Bang.” We didn’t want it to distract from the scene that’s going on but maybe if people go back and freeze-frame afterwards, there’s a lot of little hidden things decorating that set. It was really fun and emotional, actually, to pull those things back into our world.

What’s one thing that you’re proud of that’s on that set?

There are so many items. But for one thing, and this is Sheldon’s office in his house in Pasadena, the couch [from “Big Bang”] is there. We barely focus on it, but if you’re eagle eyed, it’s there in the background. The DNA molecule from their apartment is there in the corner. His Nobel prize is framed on a wall behind him. There are probably 20 or 25 little things that we pulled from either “Big Bang” or “Young Sheldon” that we placed. But hopefully, if [viewers] go back and watch it a few more times, see how much they can spot.

Jim Parsons walking through the ‘Young Sheldon” set was really powerful. Did you guys know that that would have a big emotional punch?

No. There was a lot of talk from the writers about “is there a way to see him in this world?” It’s tricky, because there’s a time gap so there really wasn’t a way to see him in this world — and then the pitch of “what if he’s remembering his last moments there, but he’s remembering it as adult Sheldon?” That just seemed really surprising, because, again, people know Jim’s in the episode at that point, but is there a way you can do something still surprising? I think him walking out of his younger self’s bedroom in a way where you don’t fully know what’s happening at the moment, and then that hard cut from him to Iain. Just watching the two of them share a frame — that casting is so crazy to me because I still believe that Iain grows up to be Jim Parsons. They just feel like the same character.

The story with Mary wanting to get Sheldon and Missy baptized, what was the meaning behind that?

We were talking about after the funeral what happens. We know from “Big Bang Theory” that Mary [then played by Laurie Metcalf, who is the real-life mother to Zoe Perry] is even more religious than her younger self, who was already pretty religious. So it felt like after the funeral, it would be very natural for Mary to throw herself into church even more. And that was sort of the beginning of her road to “Big Bang Theory” Mary. When we were talking about what could happen in the episode involving Sheldon getting ready to go [to Caltech], it felt really real that Mary was dragging her kids to church and in the wake of George Sr.’s death, was really worrying about their souls and their family.

And Connor Kilpatrick, one of our writers, had pitched that, because in the Baptist church you don’t get baptized until you’re a teenager and can choose it for yourself. That would be very important to Mary especially before she sent Sheldon off to college knowing that his soul was safe. It felt like a really believable drive to her. It felt like it gave you a moment at the end where Sheldon could echo the pilot or the early episodes where he said, “I don’t believe in God, but I do believe in you.” And Missy’s anger and disillusionment at Dad dying, leaving her in a slightly more broken place, which is also a thing we know is true from “Big Bang Theory.”

The last shot in the series being young Sheldon walking towards the Caltech building seems like a natural endpoint. Did you have other versions of that for the last shot?

Our last moment was always going to be Sheldon at Caltech. And, as we were writing, it just made sense after the death and the grief of the funeral, to end on a little bit of hope that Sheldon is walking off into this new chapter of his life where we know good things happen to him and a fun little Easter egg that no one will or should know.

We were talking a lot about the professor who stops and asks him if he’s lost. That’s actually David Saltzberg, who’s been our science consultant since the beginning of “Big Bang.” We’ve actually figured out he has probably been involved with this character longer than anyone other than Chuck and Jim Parsons, because he did the original “Big Bang Theory” pilot. All the way up until now, he’s been involved with the show, and so we were talking about who it could be and we had lots of pitches. We ultimately wanted to make sure it wasn’t distracting, that people were going to be like, “Oh, that’s someone famous,” because it’s Sheldon’s moment. But we also knew no one would know who David was but it was our little acknowledgement of how long and how important David’s been to the show, so that’s awesome.

Let me ask a few “Georgie and Mandy’s First Marriage” questions. Since the title of the show was recently announced, how hard was it to actually name that show?

Names are hard. We were sort of defaulting just calling it “Georgie and Mandy,” which I don’t think was what any of us wanted the final name to be. Chuck had actually pitched “Georgie and Mandy’s First Marriage” and it just seemed interesting and a little provocative and kind of funny, and you’re like, “Well, what does that mean?” We all responded to it right off the bat. But that was probably weeks of tossing names around and emailing names back and forth, and not quite landing on things that we loved, but trying to be in the vein of something. And then Chuck came up with that, which we loved.

The nice thing with watching the “Young Sheldon” finale is thinking that a lot of these people we can see again on that show. Is that part of the plan?

Absolutely. Look, it’s always been our hope that this world can continue into the new show. It’s also important to us that this new show gets its own identity and attitude and isn’t just “Young Sheldon” Season 8. That’s part of the reason we’re going back to multi-cam to really make it feel different. The show needs to establish itself and be its own thing but, that said, this is a world that these characters still live in, and they’re still family and they’re still in Medford. We love these actors, and we’ve always thought that this is a world where these characters can drop in and make appearances and be a part of it from time to time.

When will “Georgie and Mandy’s First Marriage” pick up? Will it be right after “Young Sheldon” ends?

Not much time. A month or two after the finale. The finale, I think, is a month after George’s funeral, so probably maybe another month after that. So it’s just a little bit separated from the death, but not much.

#young sheldon #georgie and mandy's 1st marriage #the big bang theory #shamy

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axel-skz · 1 year ago

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Tears

A/N: loads going on but this kept swirling in my mind so here we are. The song roulette here gives us GET LIT! Hope yall are doing well and let’s hope it takes me less time for the next story lmao

You had been crying and you wanted to find a private spot. You remembered a place that you had been to with Chan and you went back there at night. It was a regular spot for you now.

It was by a river.

You were having your moment. The vibes were there.

Then everything was ruined and terror struck you when you saw car lights in the parking lot. You heard the engine turn off and you watched to see who it was.

There appeared a very concerned Bang Chan. You face palmed as he finally located you and made his way over.

‘CHANNIE! YOU’RE RUINING MY DRAMATIC MOMENT!’

‘I’ve been having a dramatic moment of my own looking for you,’ he sighed as he sat next to you.

‘How’d you know I’d be here?’

‘I’d say it was because I’m smart and figured it out but I did no such thing. We share locations on find my.’

You sighed, ‘wow, I did this to myself.’

‘Ok, enough sighing. This is dangerous, Y/N. If you wanted to come out here, you could’ve just told me. I would’ve brought you out here but kept a little space and let you have your moment. That way I know you would be safe.’

‘Forgive me if I don’t want to let you know every time I’m having a breakdown,’ you squinted at him.

‘Why shouldn’t you? I’m your best friend?’ He seemed genuinely flabbergasted.

‘You don’t have to know every single thing about me!’

‘What?! Where is this even coming from?!’

‘WHAT IF YOU’RE THE REASON I’M HAVING THE BREAKDOWN?! IT WON’T HELP TO SEE YOU! WILL IT?!’

He was taken aback. He sat staring at you in silence for a minute. Like he was looking for what he could say, ‘I…’

‘I’m sorry… for yelling…’ you looked away, ‘I thought id be okay… that I’d be alright with just being friends but…’

He sighed, ‘I don’t know what to say. I mean, if I were to be with someone, I’d like for it to be you. But the problems still stand. I’m always busy and if everything went south then we could lose our friendship.’

You huffed, ‘yeah I know but if anyone can figure it out, it’s us.’

‘Is it really worth the risk?’

You looked at him with a straight face, ‘I don’t know but if I see another person who’s all over you, I might just become a murderer. I know us being together wont change much since we can’t tell people but we’ll know…’

‘You know what… I get it. I don’t like to admit how much it annoys me when you’re back stage and whoever is walking past keeps talking to you. The way they smile and check you out,’ he huffed.

You looked off, ‘so what now?’

‘I guess there isn’t much choice,’ he looked at you with a slight smile.

‘Mhm? And what does that mean?’

‘Well, I don’t think you’ll have to come back here because of me again for a while.’

With all the warm fuzzy feelings and sweet looks, you guys got together.

A/N: please like and comment and reblog. Now, um, I have a confession.

Chan: mhm?

No no no! You turn around and plug your ears!

Chan: WHY?!

BECAUSE IT’S EMBARRASSING AND YOU NEED TO GO!

Chan: wow. Ok. Thought we were closer then that…

Yeah yeah, get your old ass far away right now please. Love you!

*he marches inside*

Ok, so, I wasn’t on insta for ages cus I took it off my homepage on my ipad and forgot it existed. But like, not the point. I still managed to find out my boys made their own instagram pages before the 24 hour mark. And do you know what I did when I found out?

…

I CRIED! I followed them all and then I CRIED! There’s something wrong with me.

Chan from inside: awh, that’s so cute!

YOU SHOULD NOT BE LISTENING! I WILL GET SEUNGMIN ON YOU!

Chan: no please don’t! I only have today to relax!

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drdemonprince · 2 years ago

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a lot of times i feel like i need aftercare after just masturbating because i end up Going There in my thoughts in order to come. do you experience this too? if so, other than finding a human to talk to afterwards, do you have advice on this?

I do experience this! Because what I am into is very intense and heady, I often feel really weird and dysregulated after jacking off and do something in the way of aftercare.

The first thing I do, truth be told, is remove myself from whatever screens I was using, take any gear or restraints or clothing off, and then pace around the house for a few minutes talking to myself, going "Ugh!!! Ugh!!" or "what the fuck! what the fuck was that!" or "that was a good one god damn" or "wow im so fucking insane" or narrating out the end of whatever scenario i was locked into. or even repeating mantras relevant to what i was just doing. it really helps me to verbalize whatever im feeling in that moment, to mentally offload excess energy and begin to gear shift.

then i stand naked in the kitchen for a while drinking a cold glass of water and begin talking to myself more in the way i usually do when im not in a headspace. this usually involves hyping myself up into tackling the next objective for the day. so ill say things like "okay, now we need to vaccuum the carpet and THEN we will lay out an outfit for the party later" or "its time to get out of the house and get some sunshine, man" or "shit we forgot to send that email".

then, if nothing on the agenda for the day is too urgent, i'll usually curl up like a goblin with some snacks and a youtube video. aldi spicy salmis and brie cheese and nick diramio clip breakdown videos are favorite staples. cereal and mike mgtv's videos about bartending and queer bar culture are fun, frothy distractions too. if it's night time ill also curl up in a fuzzy blanket and maybe a stuffed toy.

i also sometimes like to wake my brain back up by reading something mildly intellectually stimulating but concrete, and not *too* demanding of long attention. something kind of practical and grounded and nonsexual. so like, ill scroll the r/amateurinteriordesign page on reddit or r/vanlife to look at the various homes people have made in small spaces, or ill check my favorite investment blog. nothing too heady or abstract.

after ive cooled down for a bit, like an hour or something, then ill be ready to put clothing on and maybe act like a human. a walk outdoors also helps once im not jittery or dissociated. but i find i dont want to engage with anybody or have to pretend to be a person until ive had adequate time to down regulate and savor the headspace i was in.

thanks for asking this question anon, i thought i might be unusual for being like this so it's nice to hear someone else goes through this too. honestly the recovery time and the fact a need for it exists is a big part of the fun! it helps reveal just how genuinely intense the experience and headspace actually was.

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aseriesofunfortunatejan · 8 months ago

Text

Jan finally learns Brawler's backstory

(In 2024) (After being tortured by at least two separate people who were weird about it)

In case you don't know, two specific, major (albeit short) scenes from Brawler's backstory are presented in Chapters 16 and 25 of the manga. In case you're not interested in reading the manga, they're summarised very plainly in his History section on the Wiki.

I genuinely recommend you read the manga, however, because the way it presents parallels is... unparalleled... by the anime.

Here is my breakdown! I'll try not to spend too much time on it because I've been awful at organising my time today, but if you know me, you'll know you're in for a few long paragraphs.

So - in the first scene presented in Chapter 16, Brawler's grandpa tries to teach him the type of lesson a mama cat might also try to teach to her young. He attacks an overly confident young Brawler with a boring haircut with chopsticks, and Brawler dodges, but he's obviously jumpscared by it. The lesson is: an attacker might come even when you feel safe, such as when you're eating! It's unclear what kind of life they're living, but what's for sure is that Brawler already has a habit of fighting, and is being instructed by his grandpa. Another element I noted is that their meal is fairly sober, and the house they live in is undecorated, with cracks in the walls.

Embarrassed that he got jumpscared, Brawler considers reciprocating the attack to scare him back. Just as his grandpa had, his grips both of his chopsticks.

The next two pages aren't a continuation of this scene. Instead, the both of them have clearly aged and Brawler's hair is cooler. His grandpa is wearing an eyepatch. When he repeats the same lesson again, Brawler points out that he doesn't have eyes to spare: it's strongly implied what might have happened.

Why didn't he dodge? "He wasn't going to chicken out and lose like he did." It seems that his grandpa is teaching him to have a strong ego more so than he is teaching him survival instincts. It's not about surviving the fight, it's about winning... at having the best fight possible. His grandpa teaches him masochism... I mean, his grandpa tells him to put his life on the line for a good fight.

This is giving me a second reason not to acknowledge Shikoku Arc as canon. One other theme ruined.

Brawler has very much learned from his grandpa's pride. He grabs his hand, holding his chopsticks, and points it to his eye.

Remembering these conversations is what inspires his strong reaction to Master in the Shinkansen.

Brawler did step back and look upset in the anime. What was missing was his point of view.

Not too long afterwards, Brawler says the same thing (although differently translated, which makes sense considering the added context of the manga) he had in the anime. The difference is: we now know why he says it.

He continues with: "the two of us are fighting with our lives on the line". This is what he just recalled his grandpa telling him.

About 9 chapters later, Brawler is about to die in a fight against Master. Staring at his opponent, he remembers that first conversation with his grandpa again. The very next minute, in fact: his chopsticks are bloody, and his grandpa's eye injured. Young-boring-hair Brawler stares in shock, while his grandpa calmly instructs him to... be a masochist... I mean, enjoy getting hurt as part of his enjoyment of a fight.

"You only live once. Enjoy fights to the fullest." There is an implication here that at least I am reading into: Brawler is in pain. We later learn that his injury was slowly reopening due to Doctor's purposefully botched surgery. The injury being shown in a previous panel is that same injury. Remembering his grandpa's words, Brawler decided to ignore the pain and let it kill him.

Famously something you should avoid doing. Except if you have a uterus, in which case, give it 7 years on average before it gets diagnosed. [...]

And then, telling his old man to watch him, he fucking dies.

This was a good chapter overall, even beside the flashback - like I mentioned above, the manga does a great job of showcasing parallels. In this chapter, Boss also explains to Pupil that Executioners like Master don't differ much from Akudama.

I genuinely didn't know this was what Brawler's flashbacks were like. All I knew was that he had a grandpa some people are weird about. What I now know is that Brawler had the worst grandpa on Earth??? He's like if your boomer grandpa were proud about getting dropped from a great height rather than about drinking from the hose when he was younger.

It really seems that this man's advice actively cost Brawler's life. And I don't think the manga shies away from implying that it's not right.

Boss' speech is from her point of view and about the Execution Division. But what ties it to Brawler is not only her own comparison of Executioners like Master to Akudama, but also, Hoodlum being paralleled to Pupil.

Hoodlum and Pupil are different people with different personalities, so it makes sense that their reactions would be different either way. We know Hoodlum shuts down up until he grabs the sword to attack Pupil, whereas she was crying the entire way. But I think the fact that she's actively aware of what is happening might lead to her stronger reaction, while Hoodlum is only just guessing and unsure.

In any case, what's clear is that Brawler's grandpa's advice was dogshit and clearly biased towards his own interest. Did Brawler really carry out what he himself wanted, or what his grandpa wanted? Was he bound to end up this way, learn this lesson, regardless? What doesn't change is that this stance is selfish - and leaves the ones you care about and who care about you behind. Plus, is this fight really worth the many other fights you could have had, had you lived longer?

It wasn't just Doctor, it wasn't just Master, it wasn't just himself - all of them, plus his grandpa, killed Brawler in that moment.

("This is not a children's playground, go home"... Oh, you're trying to be a sensible grandfather figure now, shithead? Why are you alive? This sucks!!!)

Most importantly, this puts emphasis on Brawler's ego. Brawler is a man with a great ego, which we now know he was taught to have. He doesn't just happen to be the best fighter - he aims for greatness. He wants to have a very long prison sentence just like Hoodlum. [...]

Much of his circumstances are still missing. First off, why was he taught to fight in the first place? And why was he separated from his grandpa? And did he have other family beside him? (Is Akudama Drive implying that if you only have one adult guardian, you're bound to become a criminal? I'm in deep shit. /ex) His flashbacks imply a fairly humble lifestyle. We know Brawler can eat a lot - were his needs and wants not met because he couldn't afford them? It's not like the quantity he was eating had increased by the later flashback, so the humble food, compared to his liking for huge servings of meat, was probably not a personal choice. That being said, we don't know his grandpa. Maybe he wanted that for him - he clearly had a lot of influence over Brawler.

I don't think these questions need to be answered to tell a good story. I do think all of these questions would have been more interesting to tackle than whatever Shikoku arc was about, however.

#long post #akudama drive #akudama drive comicalize

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