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beanghostprincess · 10 months ago

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Hello. I hope you’re doing well ❤️ I had a few questions (and if you’ve already answered any of them then I’ll just continue scrolling down your blog, as I’ve been doing).

Here ya go!

1. What do you think people mainly get wrong about Usopp? Like, what is a common misconception.

2. How would you describe Usopp’s relationship with each of his crewmates, in so few words (if possible)? I feel like people forget that the Strawhats are friends too.

Just wanted to hear your take.

Kind regards,

Anon.

You sound so polite, I love it 😭💖 Sending you kisses and hugs for being so sweet 🥰 (Sorry I didn't reply sooner! Busy life)

1 - I feel like the most common one I've seen around general audience/most shonen lovers (I like shonen too, but you know what I mean. You know what type of people I'm referring to) is that they take Usopp's character pretty superficially and instead of reading between the lines (very huge, separated, obvious and easy to read lines, though) they just accept what is verbally said... "He's a coward" / "He can't fight" / "He's selfish" / "He's just funny".

Most people have this misconseption about Usopp's fighting style because they assume that, because it is a long range fighting style, he isn't as powerful as others. When it is not true, by the way. They also deem Usopp to be a coward when, actually? He is just an average person? Like I KNOW the whole point is that he works on his "cowardice" but they just took an average boy with no prior experience of fighting and being a pirate to directly... Fight and being a pirate. Everybody would react like that. "He's not strong and he is a coward" first of all, wrong, second of all, you would be like that too.

And saying he is selfish? Or that he doesn't care about the crew or the people around him? I genuinely do not understand how some people can read him that way... Do you all not know how to... Analyse basic characters now? Another thing people get wrong is thinking Usopp isn't hot/wouldn't pull any girls as if he wasn't the only one with a canon girlfriend waiting for him, but alright.

2 - This is such a good question, actually 😭 I love you for this, anon. My favorite thing ever is talking about Usopp,,, I appreciate this.

Luffy: I love his dynamic with Luffy because despite being his captain, it is obvious that they are best friends. They have the same young/playful mindset and it doesn't feel, like... A job at all? Don't get me wrong, they're all a family, but their dynamic feels way more teen-like? More silly? They're stupid together. Usopp being the voice of the reason vs Luffy being extremely chaotic is my favorite thing. They feel very organic. And then there's this layer of jealousy from Usopp's side and the fact that I think Luffy will never be able to fully understand Usopp's insecurities, but somehow they will always find understanding and support on each other. Usopp is loyal to his captain and all but it feels more of a "I follow him because I consciously trust in him" than a "blind devotion" type of thing. And I adore that. Also, Luffy saw potential on Usopp from the very beginning and it melts my heart. Plus! They're both beetle/bugs lovers! The sillies <33

Zoro: They're one of the most hilarious duos because you would expect Zoro to absolutely hate being around somebody like Usopp, and yet he lets the guy do whatever he wants with him?? Zoro might be Luffy's enabler first and foremost but we forget he is even more permissive with Usopp sometimes and it is the funniest thing. I love it when they have tiny little soft scenes together because Zoro genuinely enjoys Usopp's company and I believe Usopp thinks Zoro's cool despite always being done with him being so dramatic and impulsive when fighting. I feel like Usopp feels safe around him but not only physically. I think he knows Zoro can read him like a book and after what happened in Water 7? I believe now even more than they're closer. Sometimes opening up to your captain is hard so maybe the first mate whom you have an intimate but odd relationship works even better.

Nami: My absolute beloveds. They're both on the same page when it comes to being "cowards" because their fighting styles are different from the rest and they're not built different like most of the crew. They feel so organic and genuine too! They just get each other. They're mischivious little shits together. And when they are not on the same page, it's so funny how comfortable they are around each other to just yell at the other. I think Nami gets Usopp when it comes to feeling weak and out of place but not quite, because she is always trying to make a path for herself instead of being afraid to do so? She's used to fighting on her own and standing up for herself even if it's scary but Usopp isn't, and I think she gets it but Usopp doesn't think she does because she is extremely valuable to the crew, obviously, and Usopp doesn't feel like he is. It's a dynamic with constant support and understanding and so so much fun together because they're most of the time on the same page. That's why they work so well!! They're not normal at all but the whole "we're the only normal people here" dynamic is incredible.

Sanji: If I start talking about them I think I will never finish. I think I've left pretty clear that my favorite thing about their dynamic is that, despite arguing all the time because their personalities are very different (something people often forget like. They argue A LOT. And it's SO funny. They're both the softest and the most annoying thing to each other--) they're always there for each other. Their dynamic is easy to summarize in "they joined basically at the same time, right after the romance trio" / "they do what the other can't do". They both have different types of self-hatred and insecurities that bring Sanji to understand Usopp on a deep level that I don't think others are able to share. It is obvious that Sanji has a clear preference for Usopp when it comes to the guys of the crew and he does treat him differently, not because he sees him as weak but because he sees himself in him. Their relationship is something so personal because I truly believe they're the ones that understand each other the most. I am SO angry they barely have scenes together now,,, Or that Usopp wasn't in WCI,,, Waiting for Elbaf to parallel Water 7 so fucking bad. I have more things to say about them but-- My whole blog is literally about that.

Vivi (very necessary to include her): People don't talk at all about their dynamic and it is so offensive to me because they're so funny??? Vivi's little quirk about forgetting to mention dangerous stuff and Usopp being oh so done with her is the funniest thing. Drum island was certainly incredible for these two. I truly wanted to see more of them,,, I think that if Vivi had stayed with them, she would've understood Usopp pretty well. Screaming for help when nobody can hear you? Feeling oh so weak in comparison to the world around you? She would've been on Sanji's team kicking Luffy and trying hard to keep them from saying any stupid things. More of Usopp and Vivi,,, More of Usopp and Vivi,,, I miss them :( They were so cute :(

Chopper: They're so cute and silly together,, But not only that! They support each other so so much!!! Maybe it's because they're both from the "coward trio" but I just adore how they're pretty much always together. Chopper has this whole thing at first about feeling like a monster, but Usopp finds his abilities so awesome and,, It melts my heart whenever we see them interacting. They're not only hilarious and support each other but they're always finding reassurance on the other and I love it. Not to mention the whole Sogeking thing, too! And Chopper believing Usopp's lies! They feel sooo much like brothers, imo, it's adorable. Chopper might be one of Sogeking's biggest fans but Usopp is certainly Chopper's number 1 fan too.

Robin: I think if I start talking about them I might end up crying, thanks. But. But. But I adore them. They leave the crew pretty much at the same time and yet Usopp does everything to help them save her and bring her back. I think Robin reads him pretty well and can see so much bravery in him that Usopp can't see... While Usopp, despite being a bit weirded out at first by her, sees how gentle and caring and lovely Robin is. And how cool she is, too! Also, they're both big nerds, and I love that. The fact that he did everything he could for her in Enies Lobby despite having left the crew must've meant the world for her. And it's also the whole thing about her wanting to give up on life? I think Usopp, even if it's not on the same level, can kind of relate to that? It is not Sanji/Robin type of bond (which I fucking adore, by the way) but it is pretty personal. Also, hilarious dynamic because Robin is always telling dark jokes and Usopp gets scared easily and I just adore it.

Franky: They mean so much to me. My beloveds. We don't talk enough about Franky regretting having hurt Usopp when they first met and the guilt still haunting him. We don't talk about it enough. We should. Franky was there for Usopp on his most vulnerable moment and I think Franky's personality and masculinity mixed with his pretty emotional side is SO good for Usopp. Because it teaches him to be braver and stronger and himself, and it lets himself feel freely. They have so many things in common and I am from the "Franky father figure" team because their bond looks so,,, So much like that. Usopp getting excited for every little thing Franky makes and Franky quite obviously showing off because he knows he likes it. I think Franky is the one Usopp goes to when there's any problem in his life and,,, It is just so sweet that they always trust each other SO much. It is not only admiration but a deep, close bond. Still not over Franky wanting to overcompensate for what he did to Usopp, though, but- But they're okay now, I swear.

Brook: The sillies!!!!!!! We don't have THAT much of them in comparison to the other characters but every time they interact it is always so funny. Idk how I would describe their dynamic other than it is hilarious,, But I also think we deserve more scenes of them interacting seriously. Brook spent 50 years on his own and Usopp's fear in Water 7/Enies Lobby of being left alone too is so,,, I think Usopp would want to hear more of Brook and make him feel at home because if just the thought of being alone scares him so much, he can't even imagine what it was like for Brook. Usopp is somebody who seems to want to glue the crew together as much as possible and mostly uses fun/positivity (even if fake) to do so, and Brook does the same with music. Like- The fear of being alone. Idkk. Going insane now, actually.

Jinbe: I feel like everybody's relationship with Jinbe is very gentle and silly because he is adapting to the crew's dynamic and getting used to their shenanigans. So no matter what, it is hilarious and sweet. I actually,,, Want to see Jinbe's reaction to Sogeking,,, A lot,,, It'd be SO funny. Anyway- They haven't had much of a break to be together (please please let them be silly post-egghead) (honestly I'd kill for a silly filler arc, ngl...) but Jinbe is extremely understanding and mature and imo he sees a lot of potential and bravery in Usopp. And I'd say Usopp finds comfort on Jinbe but who wouldn't? I think it'd be funny to see a bit more of teasing/playful interactions with them because I love Usopp being stupid and Jinbe being all confused at first but having fun.

#'in so few words' you don't know me do you #i could write the bible right here and now with how much i unnecessarily write i apologize #i love all the character dynamics with usopp next question #i just love usopp in general #he means!!!!!!! the world to me!!!!!!!!!!!#i genuinely appreciated this ask a lot <3333333 #i'd talk for hours about him #one piece #usopp #ask-bean!

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thought-bubble-doodly-doo · 7 months ago

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Just out of curiosity, what is it about the Umineko ending that you don't like?

Oh @fedyaplushie, thank you so much for giving me an excuse to talk about this. Spoiler warnings for Umineko and Higurashi obviously. Very long post ahead! <3 I love talking about this game.

I would like to start by saying that a lot of my distaste for the ending comes from pretty subjective reasons. I don't really think I can make the argument that the ending is OBJECTIVELY bad, but simply that I do not care for it. There are undoubtedly areas where I think the visual novel could be improved, but ultimately what ruins it for me is the revelation of the "truth."

For instance, Kinzo, from the Question Arcs, is one of my favorite characters in ALL of media. He is undoubtedly an awful person, but a WONDERFUL villain. He's introduced to us as a supernaturally lucky businessman who revived the family from destitution due to a devil bargain with a witch. He's a man of mystery, of obsession, of supposed black magic. Maybe he's doing human experiments with the orphans from the Funkin House. Maybe he has a mistress. Maybe he sold his soul. Who knows? It's fascinating!

Kinzo has this presence that just COMMANDS, if not respect, then awe. The mere thought of Kinzo sends half the family into survival mode. The sight of his seal sends the dinner party into a panic attack. Yes, he's constantly crying about Beatrice, but then he has these moments of lucidity where we see the Demon King of Rokkenjima. All of Kinzo's speeches about willpower and luck and magic are some of my favorite parts of the game! We get brief glances into a fascinating character, brought down by delusion.

Because Kinzo is so fascinating, because he's SO POWERFUL, yet he's so WEAK. His love/obsession for Beatrice has made the king into a fool. Kinzo, because of his wealth, can have basically anything he wants. But the one thing he wants is a witch's love that she's unwilling to give him. I mean, he trapped her soul on an island rather than accept that she's just not that into him. The contrast between the man his family sees and the man Beatrice makes him is so interesting!

But when the truth of who Kinzo and Beatrice are is revealed in Chapter 7, I feel like his character loses a lot of his dimensionality. Kinzo is a character defined by the strength of his will. I LOVE the scene where he's reading his own tarot fortune to himself over and over again until he gets the result he wants. THAT'S Kinzo to me. I mean, he built a church on the possibility he could resurrect a witch, because he's like super sure one day that's gonna happen! He's this commanding FORCE of a character, and then you learn he's not.

He's just a sad rich guy who got forced to be head of the family, got forced into a loveless marriage, and then signed up for WW2 in hope of dying in battle. Not even for some grand heroic reason or a sense of nationalism, just cuz he didn't want to live? KINZO?

You find out he betrayed his fellow armymen, he raped his daughter, and he spent like 40 years of his life crying over his mistress. It's pathetic. Everything cool about Kinzo is revealed to truly just be hearsay or rumor or a fact that's filtered through so many layers of telephone it might as well be a lie.

And I UNDERSTAND why his character took this route. I understand that it reinforces the larger narrative and Battler's inner conflict about wanting to believe in a Witch. Because ultimately the lie is prettier than the truth, just like Kinzo is cooler as a myth than he is as a man. However, I think when "truth" is revealed in a mystery, it should enhance the experience of a character rather than detract from it. Like I genuinely can't think of other mysteries where I found out what was really going on, and I was this disappointed in what was really going on.

Bernkastel was 100% correct when she warned about the idea of Truth. As knowledge is a one way street, and you cannot go back to ignorance after learning it. Really, you can boil all my gripes down to that sentiment. I regret learning what actually went on, because I liked it better when I didn't know.

Secondly, I don't like Battler's 180 in his character motivations. He begins the game against Magic and ends the game a sorcerer. In the bonus material of chapter 1, Berkastel tasks both Battler and the "Player" with figuring out the rules of the universe so the witch can be defeated. Battler's struggle is our struggle. As we play the games and Beatrice's cruelty is shown again and again and again, it only adds more fuel to the fire to want to see her defeated.

She toys with our relatives' corpses, she tortures, she revives only to kill again. She's a great villain but INCREDIBLY CRUEL. And Battler has to watch and suffer as his family is brutally demolished in an absurdly evil concoction of closed rooms and murder methods. The game instills us with a sense of JUSTICE, a fervent desire to see the Witch be revealed, so the culprit can pay for their crimes. Even if it hurts, even if it means a character we love is responsible, we and Battler have a DUTY to bring the criminal to light out of respect for the dead.

Even as Beatrice grows more likeable, I was still under the impression the game wanted us to want her dead? I thought her increasingly endearing nature was to again put us in Battler's shoes. If he disproves the witch, someone he loves is responsible. So of course there would be respect and endearment and even love between him and his opponent. It made sense to make us love the witch only to eventually (I thought) be tasked with having to deny her existence and face the fact she's just an evil human we thought we could trust. And then chapter four ends with Battler hearing his sister get pulled apart piece by piece as she BEGS HIM to defeat Beatrice and return to her! And then two chapters later, he's the master of the gameboard, and we're supposed to want to keep this facade up? We're supposed to DISCOURAGE ANGIE FROM FINDING THE TRUTH?!

And I'll admit, maybe, it's just a skill issue. Maybe I'm reading it wrong. Maybe I should have been undergoing a similar character arc to Battler as I continued to play through the chapters, but I do think it's a little much to ask an audience to completely change their motivation to finish a game. To work against their own interests, interests imparted to us by the game itself for the last… I don't know… 150 hours of playtime?!

And I understand that "Truth" in Umineko is a nebulous concept. I understand that Angie's desire for "Truth" is, in reality, a need for closure, and that this desire has kept her stagnated in that grief for over a decade and threatens to ruin her life if she cannot let go of it… But sometimes it feels like Umineko blue-balled me.

It says: Magic isn't real. Defeat the witch. Return to your sister, and I guess I just had the expectations that the game would deliver on these sentiments? I had my own theories of course as to what was going on and how it was all gonna wrap up. I thought maybe since Battler keeps dying last, we'd stumble upon a fragment where he was the sole suvivor and got to return to Ange. I thought maybe the idea that Beatrice's name was passed down was a metaphor that a grudge against the Ushiromiyas was passed down, and that culprit was in some way inspired by the OG Beatrice of the Devil's Deal but was not herself the "Witch of Legend." I thought maybe he'd pull a Higurashi and the characters would just foil the culprit's plans and everyone would get to live. I don't know.

But I never expected to have Battler just abandon his entire character motivation half way through the game.

Speaking of things changing, to my displeasure, halfway through the game, I do not like how the later chapters handled Bernkastel and Lambadelta. I know Ryukishi07 doesn't write every single word of the story before releasing his games. Sometimes during production, plans can change. Sometimes even for the better! Did you know Gohda was originally going to be having an affair with Natsuhi? I'm honestly glad that got cut. But I cannot say the same for Lambadelta and Berkastel.

I don't think it's controversial to say that it's REALLY OBVIOUS the original intent of Lambadelta was to have her be the amalgamation of loops for Takano. Bern talks about a great game she played against her with an overwhelming number of pieces, and it's clearly meant to allude to the original conflict in the Higurashi series.

But then for some reason??? They decided these two needed to be toxic yuri, and changed Lamdabelta to Satoko. And I know there was a lot of debate, and there still is some, about whether or not Lambadelta is some sort of hybrid between Satoko and Takano, but the recent Gou/Sotsu anime (which I also hate) pretty much confirms Lambadelta is 100% Satoko. I hate this for so many reasons.

Rika's best friend betrays her and keeps her in a looping torture.

Rika and her friends DON'T get a happily ever after, and are thrown into yet another cycle of tragedy.

Rika's relationship with Satoko is elevated so far beyond her relationships with everyone else, I honestly think it's a little insulting to the message of friendship the OG series perpetuated.

Also, I'm just not a big fan of Rika/Satoko as a ship

But that's why I hate Gou/Sotsu. Sorry for the mini-rant. Back to Umineko.

Because we as the audience as familiar with Rika, we're given an impression of the character of Bernkastel. She's our ally. She says as much. She says she takes pity and sympathizes with Battler, because she too was once thrown into a gameboard and forced to relive tragedy. But as the game progresses, Bernkastel becomes more and more of an antagonistic force, until eventually she's the ultimate villain of the game.

I'm sure this probably always was the original intention for her character. As Beatrice becomes more and more of an ally, Bernkastel simultaneously descends into villainy. But that doesn't mean I have to like it. I just don't like what her character became.

And I know, in reality Bernkastel is not a hero or a villain. She's an element of chaos, a witch so bored with eternity she has to force suffering onto others lest she remember her own traumas. I really do think that's very fascinating. Again, I just wish I hadn't been baited and switched and watched her go from an ally to an enemy.

Finally, we come to my biggest gripe. Which is arguably my pettiest complaint, so bear with me. But I think I could overlook all other issues I have with the ending if it weren't for this. I hate the fact that Beatrice, Shanon, and Kanon are all actually the same person: Sayo Yasuda. Because, personally, I feel like it undermines the core tenant of Umineko: Love. Love is to Umineko what Friendship is to Higurashi. "Without love, it cannot be seen," and frankly, I just think Ryukishi07 and I have fundamentally different philosophies on love.

In Chapter 6, there's this huge plot point about Shanon and Kanon's love for their respective partners, George and Jessica. Because we later learn they are the same person, they can only go on to live their life with one person, and there's this big deal made about how the love between these two "couples" is equal. They literally have a metaphysical duel about it, and even though it ends in George's favor, they reiterate again and again, that it really could have gone either way. Like a coin flip.

And I think what Ryukishi07 is trying to say is that Shanon and Kanon's love is "real." Although they are personas crafted by Sayo to survive her environment, the love they have for George and Jessica is 100% real. The person is a lie, but the feelings are not. However, I'm going to argue that the reason why Sayo's love for them is 100% equal is because she doesn't love either of them. She loves Battler! Battler is her Prince Charming, her gallant savior on a white horse. Battler is the person she crafts the mysteries for. Battler is the person whose return broke her psyche and caused a killing spree. Battler is her one, true love, and that fact negates the supposed love she has for the others.

Again, I just think this is where Ryukishi07 and I fundamentally differ. I don't think you can love more than one person at a time. I don't believe in having multiple "Best" Friends. I don't believe in polyamory. There is undoubtedly one of the cousins Sayo favors above the others, and that is Battler! And that fact RUINS the enjoyment I received from following these three relationships. Because that "love" that supposedly exists is a lie.

George may love Shanon with his entire heart, but Shanon merely sees him as a replacement for Battler. Jessica may love Kanon with her entire heart, but she too is a replacement for Battler. I'm not going to say that she doesn't feel affection for them. Of course she does! She cares very deeply for both of these people, but I don't think it's love. I think Sayo thinks it's love, but i just can't agree. I think we all know if Battler hadn't left, neither of these other relationships would have blossomed. And in Chapter one, she asks Battler if he remembers his promise to her. She's still seeking validation and love from that man while dating two other people!

Every time I remember a cute moment between Shanon and George or a romantic scene between Kanon and Jessica, I remember that deep down these two people are replacements for Battler. And it ruins the investment I had in these relationships. And because, again, love is the central theme of this novel, the growth and development of these relationships is a huge factor in the actual story. A factor I can't fully enjoy anymore.

And after the revelation of Sayo's existence, I don't really feel motivated to ship her with her one, true love Battler. Who is Sayo? We know a lot about her. She's a product of incest, she's the true heir of the Ushiromiya family, she's not cis, she's sad, traumatized, and loves mysteries novels. But we never get to see Sayo interact with Battler, genuinely. It is always filtered through the facade of one of her personas, either Shanon or Beatrice. The closest we get to seeing the real her is Lion, and I just don't think Lion and Battler have a lot of chemistry as characters. Even ignoring the fact they're cousins, I don't think they would work well romantically. For the great overarching romance of the novel, I am just not invested. I mean, Battler abandons her for six years and forgets his promise, but suddenly when he remembers he's willing to sink to the bottom of the ocean with her? I just don't buy it! I don't love this couple enough to see it!

Also, throughout the novel, this ideal of a one, true, undying love has been a net negative for this family. I mean, it was his undying love for Beatrice that caused Kinzo to rape his daughter. Kyrie was willing to kill a woman because of her undying love for Rudolph. I feel, continuously, the novel is framing undying love as a sickness that exists within this family, quickly turning to obsession and leading to ruin. I mean, Kinzo's young sprite is just Battler with grey hair, clearly paralleling his relationship to Beatrice and his grandson's relationship to Beatrice. And considering how that relationship worked out, I don't really want to support this relationship. (Of course, arguably the one who most inherited Kinzo's obsessive love was Sayo herself.) It's just so wierd to frame how undying love turned a man vile and evil, and then have us route for it at the end?

I just don't like how I invested so much time in those ships, only to be told that only one of them matters. And I know that's not the intended message of the visual novel, but I also can't get behind Ryukishi07's idea of what love is supposed to be.

Again, I LOVE UMINEKO. I think it is the greatest novel of all time. I just hate the ending for mostly subjective reasons, and you are free to disagree with them. I would NEVER say that Ryukishi07 is a bad writer or that he didn't handle his own story properly. Looking back, I can see the hints I missed the first time and how it all was inevitably leading to this. But that's the thing with a mystery. You go in, and you're given pieces of a puzzle, and sometimes you don't put it together correctly. The pieces were all there, but I just didn't see it right.

#thank you for your ask! i love talking!#umineko #umineko when they cry #umineko no naku koro ni #battler ushiromiya #jessica ushiromiya #george ushiromiya #umineko shanon #umineko kanon #beatrice the golden witch #umineko spoilers

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je-suis-problematique · 8 months ago

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Here's more Sengo for everybody who didn't ask

A bunch of Sengo Lore below the cut because the post is Very Long.

1. What's the lie your character says most often?

Oh definitely "I'm fine" and different variations of it. You know, things like "I'm not hungry", "it doesn't hurt", "I can rest later", "don't worry about me", ANYTHING just to avoid being vulnerable around other people. Even Kar'niss gets this treatment sometimes (especially if we're talking Absolutist!Kar'niss) and since he isn't exactly the best at reading people the nuances can fly right over his head until Sengo inevitably collapses or something and then Kar'niss has no choice but to notice something is wrong.

2. How loosely or strictly do they use the word 'friend'?

Sengo has no friends besides Kar'niss. Like 0. None. In his head everybody is a potential threat unless it's a corpse he's commanding and even THEN he's still wary. It takes A LOT of trust for Sengo to refer to someone as his friend. Mikhail and Halsin are good candidates for the friend title. Karlach too. Hells even Gale. But everyone else is on Sengo's "might kill me in my sleep" list. ESPECIALLY Astarion.

3. How often do they show their genuine emotions to others versus just the audience knowing?

Genuine emotions are reserved strictly for Kar'niss, Mikhail, Halsin, and Gale on a good day but that's about it really. Sengo is a very guarded person who's hiding behind like 17 walls and 20 layers of trauma to boot. The only emotion he shows rather freely is anger. EVERYBODY knows when he's irritated but anything else gets filtered to death until it's just a barely audible grunt (think Geralt from the Witcher) or the tiniest twitch of a muscle and that's the most that gets expressed most times. With Kar'niss, Mikhail, Halsin, and MAYBE Gale, Sengo is more open and expressive. He can laugh, be goofy and joke around, cry, voice his thoughts, you get the picture. Emotions are a weakness in Sengo's eyes. Something people can use against him. So he avoids showing any if he can help it.

4. What's a hobby they used to have that they miss?

Knitting. Not much time to knit when you're busy fighting for your survival on the regular and then your giant spider boyfriend also gets indoctrinated into a cult so now you have to deal with his brainwashing too. Sengo would kill for the chance to just sit and knit in peace while having a hot drink and maybe also feeling safe for once in his life.

5. Can they cry on command? If so, what do they think about to make it happen?

He cannot cry on command but sometimes if he's pent up enough he cries at the tiniest inconvenience. He could just accidentally bump into some tree and start sobbing uncontrollably. He hates it when it happens.

6. What's their favorite [insert anything] that they've never recommended to anyone before?

I'm gonna go with favorite book. The book follows the accounts of a family experiencing the horrors of war but the whole story is told from the perspective of the family dog. It's a silly but captivating little book that Sengo held onto since he was a kid and always felt too ashamed to recommend it to anyone because it's so Out There compared to other pieces of literature he's read throughout the years. It's not an important history book or a rare spell book, it's a somewhat whimsical work of fiction that Sengo just really really liked. I'm gonna say that he told Gale about it once, expecting to be mocked, but Gale just invited Sengo to ramble and infodump to his heart's content (Gods bless Gale).

7. What would you (mun) yell in the middle of a crowd to find them? What would their best friend and/or romantic partner yell?

Uhhhh I'd probably yell "say ayy if corpses are better than living people". His best friend is Gale in this scenario and he'd yell "some dogs go to the Hells" (because all dogs go to Heaven of course and Sengo will decimate him for saying they don't). Kar'niss is the romantic partner and he wouldn't even have to yell at all because the crowd would simply part before him, nobody wants to mess with the drider.

8. How loose is their use of the phrase 'I love you'?

Extremely strict when sober (reserved only for Kar'niss), extremely loose when drunk. Sengo has a hard time uttering those three words even with Kar'niss sometimes and he might resort to saying something like "you're okay" or "don't ever change" instead. The story is COMPLETELY different when he's drunk however. He'll declare his undying love to anyone willing to listen if left unsupervised, he's a super affectionate drunk.

9. Do they give tough love or gentle love most often? Which do they prefer to receive?

Sengo gives an unbalanced mixture of tough and gentle love that depends entirely on his mood at the moment and he prefers to receive gentle love but will have a hard time admitting it openly. Sengo's usually a friendly-punch-to-the-shoulder, insults-as-words-of-endearment, sparring-instead-of-hugs type of person and most of his gentleness is reserved for Kar'niss. He CAN be gentle with other people too he just feels like it emasculates him (blame drow sexism) so he tries to put on a tough act instead. Also sometimes he's just crass because he's socially awkward or because he feels threatened in some way. When it comes to RECEIVING affection though it can only be gentle because he's surprisingly sensitive and can't do tough love without taking it personally and feeling hated instead (it's the Trauma™). That's why he likes people like Mikhail and Halsin, those two are exceptionally warm and gentle and they make Sengo feel safe.

10. What fact do they excitedly tell everyone about at every opportunity?

It's a tie between dog facts and corpse facts, any random fact you can think of. Sengo is excited about corpses for pathology student reasons and he is excited about dogs for my-mom-never-let-me-own-a-pet reasons. Having Scratch on camp grounds is the closest Sengo ever got to having his own dog so you bet he is going to be churning out fun dog facts at anyone who is willing to listen.

11. If someone was impersonating them, what would friends/family ask or do to tell the difference?

Any questions regarding his family or his opinion on Lolth really. If Sengo suddenly says that he loves/respects/misses his mother or that he in any way shape or form resonates with Lolth's doctrine then that's not Sengo. They could also ask the impostor about Kar'niss and if "Sengo" gets sappy then, again, that's not Sengo because Sengo would not openly show any tenderness around others (who aren't Kar'niss).

12. What's something that makes them laugh every single time? Be specific!

Gale's elaborate impersonations of the other camp members, ESPECIALLY his impersonation of Astarion, and ESPECIALLY when Astarion impersonates Gale back to retaliate. There, that's the hyper-specific thing that will have Sengo crylaughing on the ground in seconds. Before meeting the others though that would have to be an inside joke he shared with Kar'niss from when they were teens – it all essentially started after a particularly boring lecture about spider reproduction where the lecturer repeated the word "egg" one too many times for it to sound professional and since then saying "egg" randomly or pointing at something vaguely egg-shaped and exclaiming "egg" became a running gag for the two menaces.

13. When do they fake a smile? How often?

Sengo has a resting bitch face so he rarely if ever smiles at all but he will fake a smile when saying something particularly cynical or if the smile itself IS the cynical bit. For him, a smile is like when an animal bares its teeth – it's either a threat or a promise of violence if the other person doesn't learn their place and FAST. Otherwise Sengo's face is stuck in a perpetual frown/scowl.

14. How do they put out a candle?

By blowing it out.

15. What's the most obvious difference between their behavior at home, at work, at school, with friends, and when they're alone?

So Sengo doesn't REALLY have a home, he's a vagabond since he stays on the road with Kar'niss most of the time. Sometimes they do manage to make a little hideout for themselves though and that's where Sengo is a bit more relaxed. He feels mostly safe and he allows himself to properly rest, not wear his armor (though his weapon is always within reach), lower some of the emotional and mental walls he's put up over the years, openly show affection, be somewhat vulnerable, you get the picture. His work could be a contract job he's fulfilling or simply keeping Kar'niss safe and he is stern, alert (bordering on hypervigilant), stab-first-ask-questions-later, no nonsense, efficient, teeth bared and hackles raised – Sengo does NOT play around when he is working. School is irrelevant, so, friends. He only really got to make friends after he met the tadpole gang so around them he is wary, mistrustful, cautious, fight-or-flight engaged, high-strung, and snappy at first. Later down the line when he gets used to their presence and internalizes that they aren't a threat he loosens up and even finds it in him to joke around and share some stuff about himself but the people he feels most comfortable talking to are (as I've already said before) Mikhail, Halsin, and Gale. Since Mikhail and Halsin are kind of busy most of the time Sengo gets to spend a lot of time with Gale and the two actually became quick friends.

When he's alone though Sengo is completely unfiltered, no walls no defenses no nothing. No attempts to appear bigger or tougher or more masculine or more dominant. No attempts to conceal his chest (he still has breasts), no frown/scowl, no tension in his body, no constant looking over his shoulder or straining his ears to detect possible threats. He hums/whistles/sings to himself, he giggles and laughs, he allows himself to express emotion, even more than he does with Kar'niss (the cult of the Absolute really put a dent in Sengo's relationship with Kar'niss). He's just himself. He's unafraid. Unashamed. And on his worse days he allows himself to cry and scream and curl up into a ball and clutch a plushie for comfort and break apart. Sengo really cherishes whatever alone time he has because he can truly let go for a change.

16. What kinds of people do they have arguments with in their head?

Anyone he finds irritating for any reason, really. His/Kar'niss' bullies from when they were younger, his own mother, Lolth herself, Astarion, 99% of the Absolutists he met or heard of. Could even be just some vendor who looked at him wrong on the wrong kind of day.

17. What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them?

Depends. Fully armored? Sengo's gonna be looking at his facial expression and hair. Fully dressed, binder included, but no armor? He's gonna be looking at his biceps and noting his overall mass. No binder? Immediately zones in on his breasts.

The first thing others usually notice when looking at Sengo are his bright red eyes, if not his height (he's short as fuck for a male-presenting drow).

18. Who do they love truly, 100% unconditionally (if anyone)?

Kar'niss. Again, the cult of the Absolute put a serious dent in their relationship but even with all the drama and pain involved Sengo would kill and die for Kar'niss without thinking twice about it. He left his home behind for Kar'niss when the latter was turned into a drider and driven out of their community, he stuck by Kar'niss when the latter became lowkey abusive due to the Absolutist brainwashing, he'll do anything for that man.

19. What would they do if stuck in a room with the person they've been avoiding?

Get VERY tense and probably claw at the door like a trapped animal or something. He would NOT initiate conversation. In fact, he'd try to pretend like the other person doesn't exist and refuse to engage if the other person is the one to initiate contact. He'd maybe try to very rudely tell them to shut the fuck up if their attempts persist. The whole thing MIGHT result in a murder. Sengo is not exactly the best at communication.

20. Who do they like as a person but hate their work? Vice versa, whose work do they like but don't like the person?

The first question is an easy one to answer – Gale. He likes Gale but hates everything he stands for as a wizard. His whole approach about Mystra, the Weave, the Crown of Karsus, everything. He can respect a man for being ambitious but Gale takes it several steps too far in Sengo's opinion. The second question is more tricky to answer because Sengo is ambivalent about the person he'd like to name, but, essentially, Ketheric. Ketheric being the avatar of Myrkul and bringing an entire region to ruin while raising an entire legion of faithful followers has both inspired and disgusted Sengo simultaneously. If Ketheric's bullshit wouldn't have affected Sengo so directly by taking Kar'niss away from him and twisting his already broken mind into whatever shape Ketheric found most useful Sengo would maybe probably also find it in him to sympathize with Ketheric's motives – but Kar'niss was tainted because of him so now Sengo hates his guts and wants his head as a mantlepiece.

21. What common etiquette do they disagree with? Do they still follow it?

Saying no to foul language probably. Sengo absolutely does not follow it and he will cuss and swear whenever he pleases, even when addressing figures of authority.

22. What simple activity that most people do/can do scares your character?

Eating around other people, showering/bathing, sleeping in an unfamiliar area (even if it's an enclosed space like an inn), eating foods that other people cooked (another reason why he watched Gale closely when he cooked was to make sure he doesn't put anything suspicious into whatever food he was making), being sexually intimate with another person, existing in a crowded area/space, accepting gifts (he hates owing people on top of being afraid that it's some sort of trap), asking for help with anything at all ever....

23. What do they feel guilty for that the other person(s) doesn't/don't even remember?

Sengo usually feels guilty for snapping at people after he cools down and takes the time to realize the other person probably didn't deserve to be snapped at. Happened a lot with Halsin and Gale at first. He even feels guilty for snapping at Astarion a couple times and he doesn't even like him that much. Does Sengo apologize? That's up for debate. Apologizing makes Sengo feel weak so his apologies tend to be passive-aggressive in nature and aren't very genuine but believe me when I say that he is trying his best.

24. Did they take a cookie from the cookie jar? What kind of cookie was it?

Oh he absolutely stole the cookie (that he 100% wasn't allowed to have) and it was a sugar cookie.

25. What subject/topic do they know a lot about that's completely useless to the direct plot?

Sengo knows a lot about natural disasters. Actually he knows a lot about any phenomenon, naturally occurring or otherwise, that can result in a high number of fatalities. Wars, plagues, famine, you name it. He shows an insane amount of interest in anything that has the stink of death around it an while it COULD, technically, be plot-relevant knowledge since he's a necromancer and all, most of it is really just him nerding out about people dying in horrible ways and being excited about mass graves and various calamities.

26. How would they respond to being fired by a good boss?

If it wouldn't escalate straight to murder then he'd simply leave. He knows when he is unwanted and wouldn't bother trying to make a case for himself or anything. He's too proud to beg to be taken back and he's too apathetic to try figuring out why he was fired in the first place – once the ties are severed they're severed for good.

27. What's the worst gift they ever received? How did they respond?

Anything remotely feminine. Jewelry, dresses, things that are supposed to celebrate the fact he has a cunt, those go straight to the trash but not before he thoroughly destroys them first. Burns them even. Sengo is a mouthy little creature, anyone who dared to give him such things received extremely upfront instructions for where they can shove them and then told to go take a long walk off a short pier. He'd get punished for it sure, but nothing beat the satisfaction he felt from seeing the gift bearers' faces in reaction to his words.

28. What do they tell people they want? What do they actually want?

Sengo tells people he wants money and a steady stream of throats to slit to keep himself entertained. What he actually wants is to find his place in the world – he wants a proper home and most of all he wants peace. Even if his potential home will be a cave in the wild he doesn't actually care as long as it's with Kar'niss, as long as they aren't darting from one corner of Faerûn to the next because they keep getting attacked or because money gets low so they're forced to seek business elsewhere. Sengo wants a place he can truly call his own.

29. How do they respond when someone doesn't believe them?

Violently. Angrily. Sengo becomes desperate and volatile, yelling, throwing threats around, maybe even drawing his weapon. He feels like he MUST find a way to prove that he is telling the truth, he MUST show solid proof to this person, and if all the proof he has at the time are his words then he will be extremely frustrated and might even cry from the rage. He is NOT thinking or behaving rationally and he is dysregulated as fuck. WHY won't this person believe him, what is their problem?!

30. When they make a mistake and feel bad, does the guilt differ when it's personal versus when it's professional?

Oh those are two ENTIRELY different types of guilt you're talking about there because when it's personal Sengo can't stand the feeling of having wronged somebody he cares for if he did. He can't stand knowing that his words/actions got an ally/friend of his hurt and it will eat at him for days until he apologizes (or tries to). Most of all it will hurt his pride the most because now he has to live while knowing that he fucked up. HE fucked up, not someone else, HE is to blame, and he CAN'T be guilty of anything ever because he has to be perfect Or Else. Again, his apologies are usually passive-aggressive and self-serving (he mostly just apologizes to make himself feel better), but he's trying to learn to be more empathetic towards people who aren't Kar'niss.

When it's professional though? Oops, collateral damage. All part of the mission, no need to dwell on it too much. That is if we're talking casualties. If it's a mistake in the sense of fucking-up-the-whole-mission kind of mistake then he will accept punishment in that case, it's only fair, it's even deserved. Unless that punishment is death. Then he will just sigh, kill his employer, and move on with his life.

31. When do they feel the most guilt? How do they respond to it?

Sengo feels the most guilt whenever he hurts Kar'niss whether accidentally or on purpose or somehow gets Kar'niss hurt by proxy. There have been times when he verbally snapped at Kar'niss which he felt extremely guilty for and even times when he physically attacked Kar'niss while the latter was enthralled by the cult of the Absolute and it was necessary for Kar'niss to be restrained. Again, extreme guilt. The way Sengo dealt with that guilt was by cutting himself. In his head he was punishing himself for hurting Kar'niss so he deserved it. Mikhail helped him work through that though.

32. If they committed one petty crime/misdemeanor, what would it be? Why?

Petty theft because sometimes you want something that isn't yours and if you were able to steal it then you deserve to have it.

33. How do they greet someone they dislike/hate?

He glares at them with an obvious look of irritation and/or disgust on his face. A very short and to the point "what do you want" maybe. If he's feeling particularly nasty he'd also say "what makes you think I want YOU around".

34. How do they greet someone they like/love?

He's a lot more relaxed, might even smile at them a little (or at least just lose the permascowl). He'd greet the person with a casual "hi/hey" or "well aren't you a sight for sore eyes". "Still in one piece I see. Good" is also on the table (I think that's a Lae'zel line but it's definitely something Sengo would say too). Kar'niss gets the "apple of my eye" treatment with some "I was beginning to miss you" thrown in.

35. What is the smallest, morally questionable choice they've made?

Every choice Sengo makes can be considered morally questionable but I guess the smallest one would be essentially chloroforming a child so that they wouldn't witness the murder of their parents. He could've just killed the kid too but he's not COMPLETELY heartless. He dropped the unconscious kid off at some other house with a letter explaining everything instead.

36. Who do they keep in their life for professional gain? Is it for malicious intent?

Sengo rarely keeps anyone in his life for longer than a contract or two, that way he avoids potential betrayals and backstabbing or, Gods forbid, anybody getting to know him more than they should. He kills whoever needs to be killed, steals whatever needs to be stolen, and then he's OUT, gone like the fucking wind. He prefers people with deep pockets who pay upfront and anybody who doesn't meet those criteria is irrelevant to him. Half upfront is fine too though he keeps an eye on those clients, preparing to kill them and loot their corpse in case they go back on their word or try to fuck him over. He offers his services as an assassin mostly and not many know of his expertise in necromancy but those who DO know can sometimes pay double if they want some sort of intel to be extracted from a certain corpse. The bottom line though is that Sengo even avoids repeat clients. He can't risk anybody getting too close.

37. What's a secret they haven't told serious romantic partners and don't plan to tell?

Sengo only ever dated Kar'niss and he doesn't really have eyes for anybody else (except maybe Halsin). Kar'niss knows – or knew – most of everything there is to know about Sengo. Some things just got forgotten following the agonizing transformation into a drider which drove Kar'niss mad and then also the Absolutist brainwashing that scrambled his brain further, so he is vaguely aware of the fact he knew some stuff that he now can't recall or can only recall in bits and pieces that don't make much sense to him. The one thing Sengo didn't tell Kar'niss though post-transformation is that sometimes he thought of killing him to put Kar'niss out of his misery but he's too emotionally attached to him to bring himself to do it. It's a dark thought Sengo would never vocalize, not around Kar'niss anyway, and he feels awful for having it, but sometimes the fact his boyfriend has mashed potatoes for brains really gets to him and he sinks into despair. Mikhail helped reignite the hope Sengo once felt for helping Kar'niss live a better life even as a mad drider.

38. What hobby are they good at in private, but bad at in front of others? Why?

Song and dance. You could say that Sengo is half-decent at singing and dancing when he's alone but put him in front of a crowd and he'd immediately suck simply because he becomes embarrassed and can't perform to save his life. The closest he ever comes to singing or dancing in front of other people is when he sings for Kar'niss and that is IT.

39. Would they rather be invited to an event to feel included or be excluded from an event if they were not genuinely wanted there?

Sengo would 100% prefer to be completely excluded from events people did not wholeheartedly want him to attend, no questions asked. He might feel a twinge of jealousy if other people he knows get invited while he doesn't but he is otherwise pretty chill with not going because that means there won't be any fake, two-faced niceties he'd have to deal with from people he might only barely tolerate. He doesn't want to feel included in spaces where the inclusivity is forced. It reminds him too much of his childhood home.

40. How do they respond to a loose handshake? What goes through their head?

He'd feel weird about it, especially if his own grip was firm. He might ask the other person why they didn't shake his hand "properly" or better yet, just yank their hand back into a second handshake and not let go until they squeeze his hand like he wants them to.

41. What phrases, pronunciations, or mannerisms did they pick up from someone/somewhere else?

I think we can all agree that Sengo and Lae'zel share a vocabulary at least partially and that they're very similar to each other when it comes to their mannerisms, LOL. Besides that, Sengo tends to pick up various slang expressions he hears throughout his travels and words/phrases that just click in his little neurodivergent brain. Despite being educated and hailing from a house of significant esteem he tends to use a fairly simple vocabulary without too many fancy words/phrases unless he's trying to be sarcastic. Sometimes however he'll pick up a new word/phrase from Gale or Astarion that sounds cool when you use it and integrate it into his everyday vocabulary (he gets especially poetic when talking to or about Kar'niss, too). Oh, and he absolutely LOVES learning new insults and swear words. That's always been his favorite.

42. If invited to a TED talk, what topic would they present on? What would the title of their presentation be?

He'd probably talk about the blatant sexism among the drow and how the matriarchal system has gone to everyone's heads in the worst possible way imaginable. Maybe even advocate for men's rights a bit and also add a little segment about trans issues if he's feeling brave. It'd be titled "my mother is a bitch" or something else that's very bratty and on the nose.

43. What do they commonly misinterpret because of their own upbringing/environment/biases? How do they respond when realizing the misunderstanding?

Oh boy.... Sengo doesn't know how to digest people being nice to him for no reason, he just doesn't. If you're nice to him then that must mean you want something from him or that you have some sort of ulterior motive behind your nice actions/words. He also doesn't really understand flirting because in his head you're trying to either exploit him or breed him (therefore not taking him seriously as a man), he can't fathom the idea of somebody simply being attracted to him in a respectful way or for other qualities he might possess. When he realizes the misunderstanding – that is, when he FINALLY realizes people can be nice just because or that people flirting with him does not necessarily mean they only want him for his uterus he is completely flabbergasted. Just shocked. Relieved, but shocked, and VERY mistrustful. It will take time before Sengo can fully internalize the fact that not everyone in the world is out to get him.

44. What language would be the easiest for them to learn? Why?

Sengo already speaks Common and Undercommon so I think that the easiest language for him to learn would be Elvish because Undercommon uses Elvish script.

45. What's something unimportant/frivolous that they hate passionately?

Decorated armor and ESPECIALLY headpieces. Actually, ANYTHING that exists solely for the purpose of showing off wealth. Armor in particular needs to be practical, not pretty, in Sengo's opinion, and headpieces (hats receive most of the vitriol here) are simply ridiculous no matter how or why you wear them.

46. Are they a listener or a talker? If they're a listener, what makes them talk? If they're a talker, what makes them listen?

It highly depends on who he's with. If it's a person he barely knows or doesn't care much for then he's more of a listener and avoids sharing too much about himself or his thoughts/feelings. He opens up considerably if it's a person he's grown to be comfortable with and there HAVE been times when Sengo went on rants and yapped for hours without showing signs of slowing down. With Kar'niss he tends to talk more, with Gale he has to fight for the opportunity to talk (because Gale simply out-talks him), and with Mikhail or Halsin he has to be coaxed into talking so, again, it really depends on Sengo's comfort level and how safe he feels to express himself around the other person.

47. Who have they forgotten about that remembers them very well?

An old target of his whose life he spared. He then went and killed his client too for good measure just to give his mark a proper chance to run away and go into hiding, granting him the opportunity to get a fresh start elsewhere. Sengo's mark was an unfortunate man who came to know too much about some crime lord's personal affairs by mingling with the wrong sort out of desperation, thus turning him into a loose end that needed to be tied up. He wasn't a bad man, just extremely unlucky, and normally Sengo didn't really bother doing extensive background checks on his marks because his allegiance lied with whoever had the heavier coin purse. So he comes to kill this guy but the guy puts up a fight and gives Sengo a hard time, landing some solid blows on him, and while Sengo is staggered the man uses the opportunity to beg for his life and tell him his story. He says he was just trying to provide for his family – whom he ended up losing to top everything off – and that he was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. Usually Sengo would ignore pleas for mercy, kill his mark, and then head off to collect the money he's owed, but SOMETHING about this guy or the way he explained his situation tugged at Sengo's heartstrings and he decided to let him go. Sengo doesn't remember the man anymore but the man sure remembers Sengo, grateful to have been spared. He still thinks of him sometimes, wondering if they will ever meet again.

48. Who would they say 'yes' to if invited to do something they abhorred/strongly didn't want to do?

Kar'niss is an obvious answer but also – Halsin. Sengo likes (and more importantly trusts) Halsin so much that all Halsin needs to do is HINT at wanting to do something or go somewhere and Sengo will be up on his feet in an instant, even if it's something or someplace he can't stand. He will try everything once for Halsin, completely going against his own borderline paranoid attitude towards most things. He just feels like Halsin won't ever invite him to do something that would seriously harm him (at least not on purpose) and that he has his best interest in mind. He might still complain the entire time but he WILL do it if it's for Halsin.

49. Would they eat something they find gross to be polite?

Absolutely not. Sengo will be vocal about disliking certain foods or foods that aren't prepared well, he wouldn't tolerate something he finds disgusting just to not hurt somebody's feelings.

50. What belief/moral/personality trait do they stand by that you (mun) personally don't agree with?

That it's okay to hurt people if it gets the message across. We generally don't really agree with that and believe that hurting people is never okay and that there is a HUGE difference between telling someone a harsh truth and just straight up being an asshole. We detest the idea of "brutal honesty". Start taking people's feelings and individual circumstances into account challenge, FRFR.

51. What's a phrase they say a lot?

"It costs nothing to leave me (the fuck) alone".

52. Do they act on their immediate emotions, or do they wait for the facts before acting?

It depends on the situation. He really honestly tries to use his logical brain more and wait until he has the whole picture before choosing a plan of action but sometimes the monkey brain wins, sometimes Sengo is gonna act impulsively while only having 30% of the details and then more often than not end up regretting whatever it is he did under the influence of the monkey brain because acting impulsively tends to lead to fuck ups and hurt feelings and the only thing that varies is the magnitude of said fuck ups and the severity of said hurt feelings. I'd say that when he's being professional he has an easier time being levelheaded and calculating but his personal life is a trainwreck.

53. Who would/do they believe without question?

Nobody. EVERYBODY gets questioned ALL THE TIME, even Kar'niss, even Halsin. Every interaction gets dissected like a frog and analyzed until there is nothing left to analyze anymore, until Sengo is ABSOLUTELY SURE he covered every possible scenario and sub-scenario there is to cover. This man overthinks like it's his full time job and him trying to figure out whether someone telling him "good morning" might actually mean that person wants to kill him in his sleep makes quantum physics look easy.

54. What's their instinct in a fight/flight/freeze/fawn situation?

The instinct gets picked out by a roulette wheel, there's an equal chance for any. USUALLY it's fight but he HAS been known to run away and freeze when certain triggers are at play.

55. What's something they're expected to enjoy based on their hobbies/profession that they actually dislike/hate?

Lots of blood and gore is something that gives Sengo the ick despite being an assassin who is also into performing/studying autopsies (he perceives medical gore differently). Also for someone who likes arts, crafts, and literature, Sengo ironically hates bards.

56. If they're scared, who do they want comfort from? Does this answer change depending on the type of fear?

Halsin, 100%. He used to want to seek comfort mainly from Kar'niss but Kar'niss isn't always in the right headspace to provide comfort and at some point he even became a threat after he was brainwashed by the cult so Sengo sadly ended up withdrawing from him and gravitating more towards Halsin who just EXUDED safety in Sengo's eyes. The type of fear doesn't matter because all threats pale in comparison to Halsin's warm, all-encompassing aura that Sengo simply gets lost in. With time he learns how to feel safe with Kar'niss again too but while he felt lost and alone Halsin was there to pick him back up and he will remember it forever.

57. What's a simple daily activity/motion that they mess up often?

Eating regular meals, having a healthy sleep schedule, drinking water, any other basic self-care thing that you're supposed to do daily in order to live your best life. Sengo sucks at those. He goes through the motions at "barely glued together" and calls it a day.

58. How many hobbies have they attempted to have over their lifetime? Is there a common theme?

The list of attempted hobbies is a long one and their common theme is "extremely pacifistic". Painting, gardening, playing an instrument, cooking/baking, needle felting, pottery, he tried a LOT of things that do NOT show just how angry and violent he is as a person. Those hobbies are his little oasis where he feels that peace he craves so much. They help him ground and they help distract him from the constant turmoil of his life. He's a Shadowheart case.

#sengo #mikhail #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #our writing

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taki118 · 4 years ago

Text

Go Watch the Venture Brothers

So just heard the complete and utter Bullshit news that Adult Swim has cancelled one of (if not the best shows) they have the Venture Bros. This series is one of those shows that for WHATEVER reason never got to the level of fandom Rick and Morty has even though they’ve been at the genre parody game longer and in my opinion better.

The series is about Rusty Venture former boy adventurer and failing super scientist who in an attempt to keep his head above water in debt goes around with his two boys Hank and Dean, and bodyguard Brock on misadventues while various legal archnemisis go after him, such as the Monarch.

So if you never watched or never heard of this 7 season series let me give you a break down on why you should,

1) Art Style & Animation

Venture bros is one of those rare Adult aimed animated series that that really truly tries to utilize their medium to the best of their abilities. Season 1 had like such a small budget and corners had to be cut so it can be a little hard to watch at times.

But with each passing season they get a little better, a little more fluid, go just a little harder and it truly feels rewarding to watch. Like seeing an artist you follow online improve over the years. Like they COULD have stayed with the choppy and stiff animation from season 1 it fit right in with its fellow adult animated shows but it didn’t. They strove for quality to have something that matched the story they were telling.

2) The Writing

Venture Bros has some of the tightest and consistently great writing of ANY serialized show I’ve seen, adult, animated or other wise. Wanna know why? Cause it’s all done by TWO people (save for like one ep each season where one other person is allowed to touch their baby). Yeah TWO people and they work their asses off every season to interject, humor, refrences, parody, plot and character development in equal measure.

3) Character Development

Um yes in case you were wondering that’s right an adult animated show has CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT that holds as the series goes on. Not to give spoilers but characters will go through changes in alignment, relationships will develop and change, some characters will go through negative arcs where they are straight up unbareable for a season before coming out the other side even better than they were before. There is no end of epsiode or even end of season reset. Characters, settings, and dynamics all change over the course of the show and it feels just so god damn good.

4) Story Development

Just like the characters the story of the Venture Bros grows and changes each season. Things that are set up even as early as season one are paid off as the series goes on. Like not to be that bitch but you know how RIck and Morty teases an overarching plot ALL THE TIME but like will often just spit in the face of fans hoping for more than like one episode a season addressing it? Yeahhhhhhh that doesnt happen here, fans are consistently rewarded for putting the time in to rewatch and really think about what happened in the series. Characters that are seen in the background or are just referenced by other characters will be brought in to be recurring characters, things that start off as a small detail or gag will be given larger relevance and each time they do this you get that “OH I remember that from last season! So thats what it was!” The writers WANT you to rewatch, they WANT you to analyze and they WANT you to theorize, and they give you a show that gives back the time you put in.

5) Parody & Reference

This series does a great thing with parody. They make real characters who are just as enjoyable as the characters they parody, they make story lines that both poke fun at the absurdity of the media but shows the writers love for it. So often parody and references are just used to mock the thing but with Venture Bros you feel the love and care so when you know the thing being parodied you can laugh but feel good about laughing cause they are never laughing at a thing maybe you cared for in your youth but rather laughing with it.

And it’s never just one thing. When they parody a thing its often layered with other things to make it even more unique. Scooby-Doo is overlayed with famous criminals, Laura Croft is mixed Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman, GI Joe is given the look of the Village People and so on. They never go for the easy joke or reference. Hell theres an episode that starts with them reciting the lyrics to David Bowies Space Oddity for really no reason other than they could. They weave these things in naturally with their setting and characters so nothing feels out of place. Like if you dont catch a reference or parody you dont feel like “I think this isa reference to something?” like a LOT of things do not just adult animated shows. You arent taken out of the moment cause it all feels so natural.

6) The Characters

God damn these characters, I could go on for hours about these characters. From main to one off these are some of the most likeable characters you can find. I mean it when I say I can’t think of a single character I wish they had cut cause they are all so well created. Even the ones I hate i have fun hating cause they were made to be that way. I’ll be good though I’ll only talk about my absolute top faves.

- The Monarchs

You ever sit and wish villain couples could have functional healthy relationships? Well look no further than Malcom Fitzcarraldo aka The Monarch and Dr. Shelia Girlfriend (yes that is her last name). The Monarch is a high strung impulsive saturday morning cartoon villain whos tendency to over react is only matched by his unspecified hatred of Dr. Venture. And Dr. G is his nonsense partner in crime who will cut a bitch if they don’t play by their admittedly weird rules. Both characters are great on their own but are better together. Though that doesnt mean they always get along. Like a real couple they have their ups and downs they fight, break up, make-up and grow stronger in their relationship with each season.

- Shore Leave

Ok ok so I want you to imagine James Bond, mixed with GI Joe simmering in a cocktail of the most flamboyant gay men you have ever seen and you have one of my favorite gay characters/characters in general. Shore Leave is a member of OSI (the shows SHEILD/GI Joe parody organization) he’s loud, brash, flippant, sassy and highly competent at his job loving every second of getting to beat bad guys down within an inch of their life. I love seeing him play off the stoic Brock and the two have this great brotherly dynamic that’s never called into question. He also gets to have a very cute romance with Al the Alchemist (who is also great). I could talk about this man all day.

- Dr. Rusty Venture

They did such a good job with this man. He’s a self serving, sexist, perverted, whinny, self important asshole and yet you feel pity and genuine sympathy for him and want him to succeed. You can see how Dr. V was given a raw deal by his father who seemed to care more about his adventures than his sons well being and how this molded him into the bitter man he is today, but on the flip side you can see where he chose to use that as a crutch for his worst behaviors and impulses. Seeing him slowly grow and change and be an actual good father to his boys while all the while still be a giant dick is actually really great.

- Dr. Byron Orpheus

Ahhhhh Dr. Orpheus part Dr. Strange Parody part busybody stay at home dad, he’s just such a delight. Dr. Orpheus is a divorcee, with an unfulfilling job of maintaining order to the cosmos (which isnt as hard as one might think), and uses his magical ablities in ways most of us would (ie menial tasks and home chores). Overly dramatic and affectionate Dr. O is a delight whenever he appears, but he’s at his best around his daughter and old friends The Order of the Triad.

Again I can go on but all these characters ranging from main to recurring are crafted with the utmost care for you to want to see them succeed or fail, to see them again even if you know it’ll never happen, and want them to cross paths with other characters.

The Venture Bros is one of those series that I will ALWAYS recommend even to the pickiest of humor tastes. But if you don’t believe its as good as I said or don’t think the concept is to your tastes I’ll recommend a few eps that I think best show off the base idea of the series without giving much away. In terms of plot and spoilers, though somethings wont make a lot of sense.

- S1 ep10 "Tag Sale – You're It!" - Dr. V is having a yard sale so of course all manner of costumed weirdos show up. - S2 ep5 "Twenty Years to Midnight" - basically a fetch quest around the world to save the planet with daddy issues - S3 ep2 "The Doctor Is Sin" - Again daddy issues but with one of the best recurring characters and a great showcase of the series deeper emotional plots - S4 ep6 "Self-Medication" - Really embraces the parody as Rusty goes to a former boy adventurer support group. Anyway the show is 7 seasons with 80 episodes, please go watch it. I will never forgive @adultswim for cancelling what was to be their final season. And in closing GO TEAM VENTURE!

#venture bros #the venture bros #venture brothers #adultswim #adult animated shows #animated shows #animation #go watch this show #go watch #adult animation

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silveryinkystar · 3 years ago

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Lyra for the ask game! Or Ahsoka

Lyra

favorite thing about them: Her lies in Northern Lights / The Golden Compass. I love how much she lies, that she lies about literally anything and everything that she can lie about, and just how wild her lies get. It's also a huge part of her character arc, which I also love!

least favorite thing about them: I kind of had to reach for this one, because it's not super present in the HDM books (as opposed to TSC), but she can get really dismissive of Pan and his anxieties despite them having a deep connection. It's really only noticeable once you set up a foil for her and Pan with other human-dæmon pairs.

favorite line: From Northern Lights / The Golden Compass -

Her dear soul, the darling companion of her heart, to be cut away and reduced to a little trotting pet?

brOTP: Roger, of course!

OTP: Will wins this one, but only by default

nOTP: Literally anyone else (although her ex? from TSC is fine I guess), especially Malcolm (looking at you, Philman)

random headcanon: I like to imagine that Lyra's ability to extrapolate the hell out of any lie is the reason she can read the alethiometer so easily - she's very malleable with her perception of reality, and genuinely clever about it too, hence why she can grasp the layers of meanings that each symbol of the alethiometer has. Where others might go, "wait that's kind of nonsense" or "what is the logic behind this", Lyra immediately jumps to the most fantastical option.

unpopular opinion: [Heavy spoilers for TAS] Dunno if this is an unpopular opinion, since I haven't actually seen people talk about it, but I don't like that the burden of spreading the "tell them true stories" thing is placed on her near the end of the book (and Will, of course) at all! There are plenty of others that Xaphania could also have told, and they could have helped spread it too, but nope, it's Lyra, a kid that only one college knows somewhat well, who maybe has friends but isn't super close to, etc etc etc. It's a lovely ending, but I had a huge bone to pick with it here.

song i associate with them: Scholastic Sanctuary from the season 1 OST! I don't know if Lorne Balfe has confirmed this, but I consider it her official theme in the series.

favorite picture of them: [ID in alt text, GIF by me]

Ahsoka

favorite thing about them: Her ability to make friends. She has Rose Tyler energy in the sense that wherever her mission takes her, if she can make friends or finds someone to sympathize with, she does it.

least favorite thing about them: Whatever the hell is going on with her live action montrals and lekku Honestly, most of the issues I do have with her are related to the general writing of the show, not her personality - I go into it a bit more with my "unpopular opinion" since I'm not actually sure it fits here. But if I had to pick one specifically, I don't like that she and Steela fall into the typical "girls rivalling for a guy's attention" trope when they could have been friends instead (especially considering they did get along well in the episodes!)

favorite line: "You don’t have to carry a sword to be powerful. Some leaders’ strength is inspiring others.” [TCW S04E02]

brOTP: Anakin and Rex, and Obi-Wan in a dad way!

OTP: Nobody! I do have some mayhaps-ships with her, but nothing I'll stand on as an OTP.

nOTP: Rex, any of the other troopers, Anakin, and Lux Bonteri.

random headcanon: I explored this in one of my fics, but I headcanon that she enjoys fabric arts in her spare time, specifically spinning yarn and weaving.

unpopular opinion: This is more of an early-TCW-seasons issue (and more on the writing than character) than a problem for season 4-7 (and Rebels) Ahsoka, but I think she gets off too lightly on the consequences to her mistakes sometimes - I get that the episodic narrative means that we can't linger on consequences of battlefield mistakes for long (not to mention TCW is a kid's series, and kids getting punished isn't necessarily something kids would enjoy watching, even if it's rightly done), but it just bothers me a little nonetheless.

song i associate with them: Ahsoka Leaves in the TCW seasons 1-6 OST being the most obvious, I think a close second is Revolting Children because of the Vibes (and also an extended au in my mind which has a fairly strange premise that I'll only write with lots of prodding lol)

favorite picture of them: [ID in alt text, GIF by me]

Badass.

Character Ask

#velli answers #shrinkthisviolet #lyra silvertongue #ahsoka tano #flashing gif #image described #id in alt text #thank you for the ask!

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apsaraqueen · 5 years ago

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For the ask: Love & Sleep. I started listing questions and then realised there were only 5 I missed out, so... ALL OF THE QUESTIONS PLEASE. I WANT TO KNOW ALL YOUR BRAIN THOUGHTS ABOUT LS.

1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?

There’s a lot of ways to interpret this question! In terms of substance, I wanted to write the kind of classic “the Shitennou come back” fic for Jadeite and Rei (my OTP, of course) that I’ve always wanted to read - something long and layered that deals with what happens after the initial shock, distrust, etc. of the return and delves into what the process of forgiveness and rediscovery might really look like. And to be clear, I’ve definitely read a lot of wonderful takes on this concept, it’s not new and so many other authors have done it better, but I haven’t found any that focused on my favorite couple (if there’s one I’ve missed, PLEASE SEND IT TO ME). And then stylistically, I just kind of wanted to write something...indulgent. For myself, really. Slow-paced, dreamy, gentle. I hope it hits the mark.

2: What scene did you first put down?

Boringly enough - the first scene! Where Jadeite, now called Junin, comes back, taking place on the grounds of the shrine. I had the image in my head for a long time before I started the fic.

3: What’s your favorite line of narration?

I...have no idea. It honestly changes all the time. I’ll just pick a random one I like. It’s of Rei watching Junin (the reincarnated Jadeite) sleep. Not creepy at all, right? I like the level of comfort between the two it implies, and it’s just a tender, quiet moment with her thinking of him, and of what draws her to him.

Junin slept on his back, one arm tucked under his nape, the other tossed across his front; the length of his legs extended several centimeters past the rumpled sheets’ edge. A book propped on his chest bore an English title that made little sense to her. She knelt by his head, suddenly concerned he might be feverish, or taken ill. He wasn’t sweating, nor ashen. The priestess touched his forehead and found the temperature not dissimilar to her own.

Under her palm his eyebrows bristled, permanently arched where hers ran like the ties of train tracks. She felt fine sun-lines there that she couldn’t see. Against her fingers his hair was dense, grown now slightly off the scalp, lightened more from working outdoors. She took back her hand, put it in her lap. From time to time it still startled her, to be able to look at him like this, unrationed. Even here at rest, she thought there was control in his features, a kind of ruthless calm she’d never been able to help responding to.

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue?

This is really hard because I wouldn’t call this a dialogue-driven fic. Why, you ask? Because I can’t write dialogue to save my life. A lot of this fic - maybe even the majority - exists between the spaces of what’s said, so the dialogue is pretty.........formless. If I had to pick, I’d probably go with this.

“I killed you,” she said, and couldn’t help but add, “twice.”

“You were right,” he told her.

“And I didn't want to,” she went on dully. “When you came I – thought you were a ghost.”

“You wish I were?”

“I wish I didn’t remember. What we did.”

“Them,” said Junin. “Not us.”

She said, low: “I wish we’d done – anything else.”

I liked writing this because while I definitely think there’s a part of Rei struggling to forgive Junin for what his past self did, I also think there’s maybe even a larger part that wishes none of it happened at all, that their history could be erased and they could start fresh, that recognizes culpability is often complex and not as one-sided as you maybe want it to be (this of course depends on how you headcanon the Silver Millennium going down - I like to imagine it wasn’t necessarily all Shitennou=bad, Senshi=good).

5: What part was hardest to write?

Urg. Writing the first Silver Millennium flashback was pretty hard. It took me forever to figure out the right tone that didn’t sound horribly stilted and Lord of the Rings-esque. Also hard trying to convey the differences between Mars/Jadeite and Rei/Junin along with the similarities. Rei, for example, is a lot more wounded and careful with her emotions, for obvious reasons, than Mars ever was. And while Junin is still capable of being somewhat morally ambiguous, he’s also genuinely a nicer guy than the more politically-minded Jadeite could be. I wanted to get that across without getting mired in irrelevant details about the past……….which I maybe need to save for another longwinded fic altogether. *bangs head on wall*

After the first flashback things fell into line, more or less, but I must have rewritten that first one, like, ten times.

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

It’s longer than 12,000 words! AND took me more than double that to get to any smut! In seriousness, I think this is the first multichaptered fic I’ve written since, like.............high school.

7: Where did the title come from?

From the poem of the same name by A.C. Swinburne. It’s quite sexy, and the woman described in it sounds very much like Rei to my mind.

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

Normally, with most of my fics, I’d say yes...but in this case, not really. Other than the food. I most definitely drew on real-life inspiration - delicious things I’ve eaten, particularly while in Tokyo - for the food. You’ll never find me writing a fic without some gratuitous food pr0n in there for good measure. The wagashi shop the girls meet at is based on one I visited while there, actually.

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

Not really. You could say this is in some ways an alternate version of another fic I wrote a while back, Tragedia? When I wrote that one I had in the back of my mind that someday I should write the same concept with a very different ending...and here we are.

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

Because I love them! And I feel like I rarely see them happy in fic (to be clear, I do love my RxJ angst, so that’s not a bad thing!). I wanted to write a story for them that felt realistic and for lack of a better word, adult - that progressed in a natural way. I wanted to challenge myself to do it in a way that was slow-burning and relatively low-drama but not boring. And I wanted to see if I could sustain the tension and intimacy that makes their relationship so interesting to write, without resorting to my usual go-tos of smut (at least not immediately!) and angst.

11: What do you like best about this fic?

I’m happy with the atmosphere it conveys - sometimes moody, mostly serene. I worked really hard on that aspect and I feel like it maybe, kind of, sort of paid off!

12: What do you like least about this fic?

I wish it was wittier, more humorous in some places - I feel like it would add a sense of balance. That’s my biggest failing as a writer, I think; I really have no clue how to do comedy. I am not funny in the slightest.

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

I had just seen Call Me By Your Name when I started writing it, so a lot of the soundtrack for that. Mystery of Love in particular. Also a lot of Rhye.

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

Learn? No, I don’t think so. Just trying to put more of my OTP out in the world in hopes of inspiring more of it!

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

So much. Like I’ve noted above, this is the longest thing I’ve written in a long time and honestly I’m kind of amazed I’ve been able to stay motivated! Writing something longer requires, obviously, patience - you can’t just fire all your guns at once, you think of things you want to write RIGHT AWAY but then have to save them for later, you have to actually, ugh, have a structure………….this is all patently clear to a competent writer, but these are things I was pretty sure I’d forgotten how to do, so it’s been nice stretching myself this way.

Thank you for the ask, @coppercrane2 - this was so fun!

#fic asks #jadeite x rei #rei x jadeite #mars x jadeite #jadeite x mars #hino rei #jadeite #senshi x shitennou #shitennou x senshi #sailor moon fanfiction

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ladyettejin · 4 years ago

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I'm always excited to find another SPN fan! Here's a fun challenge for you: what are your five or so favorite seasons, ten favorite episodes, and five favorite characters other than Sam/Dean/Cas?!

AAAAAH this is definitely going to be a challenge but I am so excited to get into this, thank you a million. I can and will talk about Supernatural forever. This’ll be a long post so I’ll add a little break here.

Favorite seasons (and I can only pick five from fifteen, this is killing me):

1. Season One - the aesthetic. This is it. Back roads, long drives, greys and blues and monster hunts and brothers learning how to be brothers. I can watch just this first season alone and feel everything that the rest of the show ended up making me feel. I can look at them then and know where they’re going and just feel everything.

2. Season Two - this one is my favorite season altogether because this is when I really fell in love with the show. Season one, the brothers were getting into the rhythm of it, and then season two it just took off. The storyline was building, the characters were building, everything is just *chef’s kiss*

3. Season Four - Sam is struggling so hard and I love him so much. And then the ANGELS show up. And then you get to playing about with the parallels of God/John and Angels/Sam’n’Dean and you give me an angel struggling with his sense of duty and he ends up questioning his entire reality? I live.

4. Season Five - it’s just so gorgeous. Threads are pulling together, the big apocalypse arc is coming to the climax, the stakes are so high and the acting is so good and my heart breaks every time.

5. Season Eight - I got so invested in season eight. The boys working on completing the trials. Everything Sam was going through because of them, and how much I love his strength and how much I need him to know he’s loved and worthy. And then that finale? Oh my god my HEART. Ten Favorite Episodes (again, I’m limited and this kills me):

1. Nightshifter (2.12) - it’s amazing. It’s stressful, it’s gorgeous, and oh my god that realization that now the boys are on the run from the law, officially? The way they escape? Renegade?! GOD that’s good.

2. Bad Day at Black Rock (3.3) - so funny. I love seeing how the Rabbit’s Foot affects my boys, it’s scary but also funny, and then we get to meet Bela Talbot for the first time, which, beautiful, amazing, forever grateful.

3. Sex and Violence (4.14) - the siren hunt is GREAT. I love the chemistry between Sam and the doctor, that scene in her office lives rent free in my mind, and I love how the siren for Dean isn’t a hot lady, it’s a cute faux-agent dude. I have feelings about this.

4. The End (5.4) - Omg such an episode. The postapocalypse, where Sam said yes and Dean refused and now Cas is broken and Sam is Lucifer in a white suit with a red rose and the things this episode does to my heart, just, argh.

5. Changing Channels (5.8) - genuinely funny. I love how creative and goofy they let themselves get. And I love how you have all the pain of being trapped by the Trickster without the whole “Dean is repeatedly dying and maybe it’s fascinating and I might put it on the list because Tuesdays will literally never be the same for me but also oh my god it hurts.”

6. Swan Song (5.22) - I honestly think this is my favorite episode of all of them. I have sobbed, absolutely sobbed over this one. Everything arches, everything fits, and oh my god, Sam. Sam Winchester literally fights back the devil. He looks at his brother, and he remembers everything that brotherhood means, and he literally holds back Lucifer. And he jumps into that pit, knowing full well what he’s doing. What he’s sacrificing. He’s so strong, and he’s so selfless, and he’s so beautiful. And my heart cannot take it.

7. The French Mistake (6.15) - seriously, the meta fiction of this one kills me. I love Sam and Dean having opinions about Jared and Jensen. I love seeing Sam and Dean react to the difference between Castiel and Misha. I love watching them try and act like they can’t actually act. That’s good acting and I love it completely.

8. The Man Who Would Be King (6.20) - I LOVE CASTIEL SO MUCH. I just, I love watching him come to terms with himself. I love the pain and the struggle and the angst. This episode feels big to me, like intrinsically big to the storyline and to Cas as a character.

9. Slash Fiction (7.6) - it’s just so much fun watching Leviathans pretend to be my boys. It’s so stressful and angsty and I love it. We also learn how to kill them, and I’ll be honest, I love the lore, I absolutely love the way the show gives us lore like that. It’s a core quality since that first season and it’s beautiful.

10. The Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo (7.20) - I love Charlie. I love her relationship with Dean. I love this episode for bringing her to me, and for making her a fun awkward cute hacker. And I love watching Dean teach her how to flirt. Five Favorite Characters (who are not Sam or Dean or Cas):

1. Charlie Bradbury - she was cute, she was clever, and she loved Sam and Dean honestly and easily, and my boys need that kind of relationship in their life.

2. Bela Talbot - she was gorgeous, she was smart, she was amoral, she was legitimately fascinating and well acted too, and I wish we’d seen more of her.

3. Bobby Singer - he may not have been blood related to Sam and Dean but he absolutely loved them like a father and they loved him so much and also I love the episode Weekend at Bobby’s, which almost got put on my top ten list and I’m definitely bringing it up here. It’s great watching him work. Beautiful, even. It would have been nice to see Sam and Dean take up those reins.

4. Gabriel - he was so cute and I love the whole prankster thing and then it turns out he’s an angel and then he actually tries to help but ends up dying and I just, I have a lot of feelings about what Gabriel brought to the party.

5. Crowley - The snark! The sass! The good heart hidden inside layers of asshat. He just wanted to be loved. And I do. Favorite demon ever, hands down.

#supernatural #i have been talking about supernatural for weeks nonstop #i will continue to do so #i'm drowning in the feels #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #bobby singer #charlie bradbury #gabriel #crowley #lucifer #bela talbot #my faves

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chrisemrysfics · 4 years ago

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It’s been a while since I’ve done anything like this so I snatched from @joshua-beeking !

Name/Nickname: Chris, Queen of Feels (to go with King of Feels when I rped with @skytroops ), chrysanthemum, MoreThanSatan (a joke from an old url), sweetie/cupcake/butterfly, Silly. Last one is self given

Pronouns: They/them and she/her.

Height: 170 cm (5′7)

Time Currently: A little past midnight when I first started, I got distracted, its 1:23 (am) when I posted it XD

When Is Your Birthday: July 2nd

Favorite Band/Groups: I can’t say I have any favorite, but I enjoy JAM Project, Nightwish, Two Steps from Hell, those are the three I can recall that I have listened to quite a few of their songs. Yousei Teikoku too, I initially didn’t realize it is a group, not a solo oops.

Favorite Solo Artists: Again, I can’t say I have any specific favorite, I’m much more of someone who doesn’t really look at who is singing, and more so its about the songs I can find, its pure luck that I can name a few groups.

Song Stuck in your Head: For once, none!

Last Movie You Watched: That is a very good question....

Last Show You Binged: Black Clover, we binged with my mother quite a few episodes and still need to continue, I’m likely to binge MDZS Q soon!

When You Created Your Blog: This one dates April 2018, but is the second version of my fic blog, the first one was made May 2015. My first blog, though, was in early 2012!

Last Thing You Googled: Technically, that was the old url of my first blog to figure out when exactly it was made. Before that, group names to quickly check. Before that, I did a brief search to see what news Wattpad had (before someone mentioned it to me and I didn’t know what happened).

Other Blogs: Active, there’s my original writer blog @homeofwriter and my personal sideblog @chrispersonalcorner . I used to have rp blogs, though, the last one I had before I fully stopped was my Allen Walker @sozotohakai and Wei Wuxian @millenniumpatriarch (and my multi muse, @choruscaelum ).

(On that note, Allen was the rp blog based on Meet me Halfway to the End, and WWX blog is based on an idea for DGMxMDZS crossover that I still fully intend to write fics for~)

Why I Chose My URL: I didn’t try too hard with it, Chris for myself, Emrys to related to BBC Merlin, and fics because its my fic blog. Same with chrispersonalcorner, its pretty straightforward.

(sozotohakai is what I get when I enter “creation and destruction” to be put into Japenese; choruscaelum is what I got when I enter “heaven dance” to be put into Latin; and millienniumpatriarch, it refers to the Millennium Earl of DGM, which is who WWX awakens as, and Patriarch refers to both the Earl because he’s also called the Patriarch of his clan, and Yiling Patriarch).

Do You Get Asks: Its very rare, so its always a good surprise when I do!

How Many People Are You Following: 13, I’m actually not as involved in Tumblr anymore, so I just follow a few MDZS blog and a few other interest blogs.

How Many Followers Do You Have: 168, which I’m still amazed at, I might once have more on a blog? But not many, if at all, ended up also following here, so this all build up from scratch, and I’m very happy about that!

Average Hours Of Sleep: Depends, most often my usual is around 7 or 8 hours, but neighbors can be noisy, so my sleep can be interrupted, in truth I often have maybe four or five hours of uninterrupted sleep, wakes up for one reason or another (sometimes its just my own body waking rather than noise), then fall back asleep (sometimes not long after, sometimes after I eat a bit).

Instruments: None that I am playing often, but I do have a flute and piano keyboard!

What I’m Currently Wearing: Jeans and two layers of long sleeve tops, we can’t use the heater so we simply dress well in the house to feel warm.

Dream Job: Technically, what I am doing already, of course, its to live thanks to my original writing, but in term of doing something, I’m already living it~

Dream Trip: Its a tie between seeing places all over England, Ireland, Wales, Scotland; and Japan.

Favorite Food: I kind of love a lot of food and aren’t too picky, I guess as a wide net, Vietnamese and Japanese food. I love nems, fried shrimp, Xiu Mai and Ha Cao, I enjoy sushi, and in general I make heart-eyes when I see Japanese food. Our favorite restaurant is a Vietnamese-Chinese (mostly Vietnamese I think though), we also have a Japenese-Peruvian one but we more recently found a purely Japenese one that we really, really liked.

Top Three Fictional Universes You’d Like To Live In: This is so hard because my immediate want is to live where my favorites characters live, so MDZS, DGM and BBC Merlin, but wow I’m asking for lots of troubles too. Well, BBC Merlin and MDZS, it can be dangerous, but it can work out; but DGM... sure I could maybe life a peaceful life but that’s if I never cross path with the characters I know, and that’s if the whole DGM world isn’t set to apocalypse sometimes in the story :’)

Honestly thinking “where would I like to live”, I would go with BBC Merlin and MDSZ, I don’t even had a third. DGM, I would say that genuine “want to live” is a big no (I would rather have Allen and everyone live within my world ;;), but its fun to go with the more figurative “self insert yourself”.

I tag : Anyone who wants to, snatch it and consider yourself tagged~!

#chrishere

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etherealwaifgoddess · 5 years ago

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Maybe I Am? - Chpt.2

Characters: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Summary: Steve takes a risk and the guys go out on a “date”. Master list HERE

Content Warning: first “date” cuteness, making out

Word Count: 2.5k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! Today is one of those days where I am eternally grateful for having a “draft” option. Because honestly, ya girl is exhausted. So yay for drafts! Enjoy chapter two. I’m honestly too tired to give ya’ll a better note right now. :-\ XOXO - Ash

Chapter Two

Steeeeve [9:32:08PM]: Hey, it’s Steve.

Bucky Barnes [9:32:47PM]: hi steve

Steeeeve [9:33:15PM]: I had a lot of fun meeting up today.

Bucky Barnes [9:33:39PM]: me 2

Steve huffed staring at Bucky’s second generic response. He was usually so much more lively. Steve took a long sigh and started texting what he needed to get off his chest.

Steeeeve [9:35:21PM]: I’m sorry if I came off as confused or misleading.

Steeeeve [9:35:26PM]: I didn’t mean to do that. But I am kind of confused right now.

Steeeeve [9:35:35PM]: I spent so much time liking the idea of you, and you in real life was even more amazing than I could have expected. But I’ve never dated a guy before and I never expected to want to. And now I think I do.

Steeeeve [9:35:49PM]: I’m sorry. This probably isn’t any less confusing. I’m apparently really bad at this lol. I guess what I’m trying to say is, will you go out on a maybe-date with me? I want to try and see how I feel. I don’t want to string you on, but I want to try.

Bucky stared at the flurry of texts coming into his phone. Damn, serial texter much? He read and re-read Steve texts a few times, chewing nervously his bottom lip, trying to find a response. He wasn’t willing to let his heart get trample on again, not after Brock. But he really liked Steve and if there was a chance Steve might like him too, it was too good to pass up. He had a distinct feeling he was going to regret it, but he tapped out the only honest response he could think of.

Bucky Barnes [9:44:13PM]: i like u 2 steve. i get that ur confused. lets try ur maybe-date and see how it goes? if it goes well cool, if not no hard feelings. k?

Steeeeve [9:45:20PM]: Thank you. Really, thank you for being so great about this. Can we get dinner one night this week?

Bucky Barnes [9:45:55PM]: im free any nite but tues

Steeeeve [9:46:10PM]: I can do Friday night around 7. There’s a really great Mexican place a few blocks over from the gym if you’re willing to schelp all the way over to Park Slope.

Bucky Barnes [9:46:31PM]: sounds good. see u then

Bucky sighed, putting his phone away into the pocket of his favorite old hoodie. He had a date. A maybe-date, but for some reason that felt good enough for him at the moment.

xxXxx

Steve discovered the best part of being able to text Bucky wasn’t just that their chatting was no longer limited to when they were both near a computer, but that they now had a full range of emojis, memes, and GIFs at their disposal. He could now send Bucky random funny things he found during the day and he felt a little proud when Bucky would send back a string of laughing emojis, knowing he had brightened the other man’s day a little. He had worried with their maybe-date looming things might be a little awkward but if anything they were going even better. By the time Friday came Steve was genuinely looking forward to their maybe-date. He had even gone out on Wednesday before his shift at the gym to pick up a set of clothes that were distinctly not gym wear. He couldn’t remember the last time he bought a button up shirt but he had to admit the blue and white checked shirt looked nice on him. He was trying not to stress over the maybe-date but he felt this gnawing need to know, definitively, if he was truly interested in Bucky, or just the fantasy of WinterBae.

Steve raced home Friday to shower and change, hoping he’d left himself enough time to do all that and still make it over to Los Aztecas in time. Taking the time to slick back his hair and do a quick shave, Steve was hustling out the door only to realize he’d forgotten the bottle of wine once he got outside. After a fast double back for the wine he was on his way, making it to the tiny authentic Mexican restaurant with three minutes to spare. He had barely stopped walking when he saw Bucky hopping out of an uber. Steve felt a little flutter at the sight of Bucky and he took it as a good sign.

Bucky looked amazing in his dark skinny jeans and a silky looking black shirt. A minimalist necklace was around his throat, the simple bar resting just below the wings of his collarbones. Steve noticed Bucky had swapped out the cheery beaded bracelets he’d worn on Sunday for a set of sleek silver and leather ones. He looked like he belonged on the cover of a fashion magazine and Steve felt ridiculous in what Sam had teased was his bible salesman outfit.

“Heya.” Bucky greeted warmly, extending an arm for a half hug.

“Hey,” Steve echoed, hugging back with his free hand. “Ready for the best Mexican food of your life?”

“Definitely, let’s go.”

Steve led Bucky inside the little restaurant, its cozy decor making the place feel intimate instead of cramped. Steve had called ahead for reservations so they were whisked off to a table as soon as he gave the concierge his name. Bucky was looking around fascinated, taking in all the colorful decorations.

“It’s really something, huh?” Steve prompted with a smile.

Bucky nodded in agreement, “Yeah, it’s beautiful. So much art packed into so little space. Thanks for bringing me here, Steve.”

“It’s one of my favorite places in the area, mostly for the tacos but also for the art. I got my degree in fine art before I switched gears and went back to get certified in exercise science.”

“That’s quite a switch.” Bucky laughed.

“Art will always be my first love, but it’s not exactly profitable. And once I got healthier I knew I wanted to help other people do the same. I was really sick as a kid and didn’t hit any major growth spurts until I was almost 21. After that, I worked out a lot getting used to my new body and fell in love with the gym.”

“Wow. I’m glad you were able to get healthier, and it’s sweet you’re trying to give back to others with that.”

“Do you go to a gym? I won’t be offended that it’s a competitor, I swear.”

Bucky barked out a laugh, “No. God, no. I am perfectly happy with not having abs or a totally flat stomach as long as waffles exist.”

Steve couldn’t help his eyes dropping to Bucky’s stomach which honestly couldn’t have had more than the smallest layer of padding across it. “That’s okay too. Waffles are pretty great.”

The waitress stopped by to uncork their wine and drop off a basket of fresh tortilla chips and salsa verde.

“What did you bring?” Bucky asked as he took the glass of white wine Steve had poured him.

“Albariño. A waitress here recommended it a few years ago and now it’s my go to. It’s light and crisp, and kinda citrusy? I’m not a wine snob but it’s damn good and goes really well with tacos. I hope you like white wine, I forgot to ask.”

“I’ve yet to meet a white wine I didn’t like, so you’re safe.” Bucky sipped the wine and his eyes lit up, “Oh yeah, this is good. I’ll be hunting this down next time I go shopping.”

“You can get it over at the little wine boutique near the farmers market in Sunset Park. They always have this kind.”

“Nice, I’ll have to check it out. My sister will love this the next time she visits.”

The conversation flowed as the basket of tortilla chips disappeared, only ebbing when their platters arrived and they tucked into their food. Steve had ordered his usual taco platter while Bucky opted for the taquitos platter, an assortment of slow roasted meats wrapped in thin crispy shells. He let out a groan at his first bite that had Steve’s heart stuttering in his chest. The maybe-date had mostly felt like a friend-date up until that point, though Steve had to admit there was a tiny flutter of like there too. But the noise Bucky made and the expression on his face had Steve thinking anything but friends only thoughts.

Bucky caught Steve staring at him as he licked a dribble of sauce off his bottom lip. He hadn’t gotten a distinct date-date vibe from Steve but the look on the blonde’s face was priceless. Bucky thought he probably had made a similar one the first time he saw Devon Sawa in Wild America when he was 12. He had never stood a chance of being straight after that. Testing the waters a little bit, Bucky smirked at Steve, making it abundantly clear he’d been caught staring. Steve flushed and Bucky’s smile widened. There might be hope after all.

Steve wasn’t sure if it was the wine or too many tacos but by the time dinner was over he felt glued to his seat. He hated knowing the evening was coming to an end and wanted to do something, anything, to prolong it. The waitress dropped off the sales receipt with a pen and Steve tried to steady his hand as he signed his name. He knew he needed to muster up his courage or he would be saying goodbye to Bucky in mere minutes.

“Thanks again for paying.” Bucky said after draining the last of his wine, “This was really nice.”

“It was.” Steve agreed, seeing his chance, “You know, I have another bottle of this wine back at my place if you wanna come over for a bit. Maybe you could help me find that movie app you were telling me about for the Fire Stick?”

“Sure, I’m happy to help. I won’t say no to more of that wine either.” Bucky stamped down the hopeful cheering in his chest that Steve was inviting him over. The poor guy probably didn’t mean that anything would happen other than wine and tech help but Bucky could always dream. He would be respectful though, he resolved to himself. He’d never dated a guy who was questioning his sexuality before and Bucky didn’t want to push too far too soon. Bucky figured it was best to let Steve set the pace and just hope his heart didn’t get run over in the process.

Steve’s apartment was only four blocks from the restaurant, a second floor walk up in an old converted brownstone. It was nicer than Bucky’s little hole in the wall apartment and even had a small second bedroom that Steve had set up as a home office. After giving Bucky a quick tour, he led them to the kitchen to pull another bottle of Albariño out of his cabinet. Passing a stemless glass to Bucky, he poured them both a generous amount of wine which they carried out to the living room so Bucky could show Steve the app he’d mentioned during dinner. A few clicks and a quick download later, Steve had access to a ridiculous amount of free movies.

“This is so great.” Steve praised, clicking through the different options. “Oh I love this one!”

“Hm?” Bucky looked up from his glass to see Steve hovering over 10 Things I Hate About You. “Oh that one is great. I remember wanting to be Patrick Verona when I grew up after seeing that.”

Steve gave an amused side eyed look at Bucky. “I think you did a decent job.” he teased, throwing on the movie out of sheer impulse.

Bucky laughed, “You’re sweet. But god knows I’ll never be that smooth.”

“You’re better off than me. I’ve been told I’m hopeless on more than one occasion.”

“You hold your own, Rogers.” Bucky assured him, reaching over to take Steve’s hand in his, stroking the pad of his thumb over the ridges of Steve’s knuckles.

Steve blinked slowly, looking from their joined hands up to Bucky’s face. It felt good, that fluttery feeling stirring in his gut at the contact. He gave Bucky a smile and squeezed his hand gently, making sure his consent was clear.

The movie rolled and they sipped their wine as Patrick did his best to woo Kat. Bucky slowly nudged closer to Steve until he was pressed against his side, his head leaning against Steve’s shoulder. He was warm and comfortable and completely unwilling to move by the time Letters to Cleo played into the credits.

“I can’t believe it’s after eleven already.” Steve yawned.

Bucky yawned next, set off by Steve’s. “Same. I had a really good night, Steve.” He looked up curiously, wondering if Steve had found any new revelations on their maybe-date.

“Me too. This was… really nice. Hey, um, I know this was a maybe-date, but maybe um…”

Bucky shifted so he could sit up taller and face Steve while he fumbled for words.

“I, um, I’d really like to kiss you right now.” Steve blurted out, looking equal parts excited and terrified.

Bucky’s smile was like the sun. “Okay, yeah.” Bucky reached out to cup Steve’s cheek, going agonizingly slow to give Steve a chance to bolt if he needed it. He leaned up a little and Steve craned his neck down, tentatively meeting Bucky’s lips with his own.

A soft press, a pause, another soft press, and then the kiss deepened, Bucky’s lips parting to slot Steve’s with his. Steve let out a choked off moan, unable to believe what he was doing and how good it felt. He let a hand rake through Bucky’s hair and it only made him want to feel more of the silky locks. The scent of cedar and teak from his cologne filled Steve’s nose and though it was very distinctly male, Steve couldn’t get enough of it. It was so much more than he could have expected but also not nearly enough. He was breathing raggedly when he finally pulled back, repressing a shudder at the well kissed expression on Bucky’s face. His full bottom lip was shining and red, his eyes heavy lidded and his chest heaving just as much as Steve’s.

“Whoa.” Steve finally breathed out in amazement.

“Yeah, whoa.” Bucky agreed. “So does this help in sorting out if this was a date-date?”

“I think it was definitely a date-date.”

“I’m glad. And do you think you’d want to try another date sometime?”

“When are you free next?” Steve chuckled, only half kidding.

“Easy there, pal.” Bucky warned lightly, patting Steve’s ridiculously broad chest. “We’ll find a day again soon.”

Steve nodded, knowing Bucky was right for wanting to take things slow. He led Bucky over to the door, giving him one last quick kiss goodbye before the brunette headed out into the early summer night. Steve was still floored by his own reactions to Bucky but it felt so right that he couldn’t agonize over it for long.

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #stucky #stucky fanfic #stucky fanfiction #idiots in love #confused steve rogers #gay bucky barnes #modern day au #no powers

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reinabeestudio · 5 years ago

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Happy Late New Year!! Do you have any personal hcs for the Matsuno sextuplets? owo

Feliç Any Nou, anon `7´)/!!

Regarding your ask: YES I ABSOLUTELY DO. I’m so late to the party, 100% sure I’ll repeat myself with others :’l. If you don’t mind that, then go ahead and read!

*(Warning, these are extremely self-indulgent;; Long post ahead!)

Osomatsu

He’s the one with the best smiles :9 Mocking or genuine, they certainly are a boost to see!

He IS a little shit, but deep down he truly cares for his bros, even if he doesn’t show it :v

Considering how much he likes drinking, he probably has a small beer belly lmao

He laughs so much! Even when he’s talking, the tone of his voice makes it sound like he’s chuckling.

If the situation comes to him being flustered, watch out because he WILL do his best to drag you down with him.

Very good at cheering people up~

He’s a pretty average guy in most aspects, physically!

Related to the previous one– when he gets mad, he’s actually pretty strong (don’t make big bro mad, because it’s scary as hell :v)

Sometimes he repeats things when he’s in a more serious mood (“Don’t run, don’t run.”/“Are you an idiot?! Are you an idiot?!”/“Wait, wait.”)

He seems the type of guy that despises wearing too many layers, so his favorite seasons are Spring and Summer

Actually he has a good memory, specially if it involves words, but it’s easier to play dumb¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Karamatsu

He’s my favorite so I’m gonna be extremely biased (sorry)

Based on the trillion poses he does, I say he’s really flexible lol

He has THE best thighs. Hizamakura material right there

G-good arms, also. Not strong, just…. Firm.

Also also! a Strong Boy™. But he’s a softie, so he does nothing with it

I like to think he’s quite good at English! (yes i know that his one-liners are in French >:v lemme dream orz)

He’s very good at cleaning, he picks up after his brothers often

Good cook! Good cook!! Good cook!! (this is canon… i think?)

Not as oblivious as people think he is! He notices the little details and others people’s moods shifts (the movie proves this well ;w;)

He has a pretty decent singing voice, no you can’t change my mind

He gets drunk so easily it’s embarassing (actually this is canon, if I remember correctly)

After watching the movie, I love to think that he has a few *freckles scattered around his body💕 (mostly the back of his legs)!!

*yes i know it’s supposed to be acne, but I decided to ignore that completely and indulge myself 100% LMAO

Choromatsu

Good hands and good with his hands! Cooking, sewing, etc– he’s the best one to do those tasks (if he ever has to do any of those lol)

The lankiest of them all (but subtle, eh)

His focus skill is either 2000% into it or none at all, no middle ground for this guy :v

This is pretty much canon, but he’s a real fast talker! Like you gotta get used to his rhythm or you won’t get most of what he’s saying;;

He’s an open book when it comes to his emotions! Anger, sadness, happiness, shyness… it’s easy to read his heart just by looking at him.

Canon says that he wears glasses to look smarter– I say, fuck canon and that he actually needs reading glasses >:0

Like Karamatsu and Ichimatsu, I like to think he also has some freckles on his body! But in his case, he has them all on his back

Ichimatsu

He has stuff on his pockets 90% of the time (few coins, cat food, etc)

A bit chubby. Not original, but a nice thought!

I like to think he’s somewhat paler than the rest, so his cheeks always have a bit of red in them✨

Besides of how comfortable they might be, he mostly wears baggy clothes because he spends so much time with cats (specially strays)

Ah, yes, the sharp teeth topic. Maybe not all of them, but he does have sharp canines heh

Sore loser (again, I think this is canon)

He’s the fourth son, yet he’s often treated like the youngest (this is more of an observation than an actual hc tbh)

Like I mentioned above, I headcanon that Ichi has few freckles as well! In his case, he has them in the palm of his hands ;w;

Jyushimatsu

You thought Karamatsu was strong, huh?? Well this guy is THE strongest and you can’t change my mind

Defined arms! Strong arms! No beefcake levels bc that’d be terrifying as hell (lmao) but if you poke it you can feel it✨

Pretty much the athletic one `v´)/

The opposite of Ichimatsu! He’s so active that his face has always subtle tint of a red :D

He tends to hum for himself when he’s busy, but he doesn’t notice unless his brothers tell him

Uses honorifics a lot!

Once I read someone suggesting he has a farmer’s tan because he plays baseball often and I haven’t known peace since then because holy shit

This is more of a opinion, but if he wasn’t so hyper and enthusiastic(?), he’d probably the prettiest-looking of the sextuplets! (but his personality and endless energy are the reasons we love him💖!!!)

Todomatsu

The most modern of the sextuplets! The thing he likes the most are accessories :9 Has a little collection of bracelets and such!

I ADORE thinking that he has some baby fat since he’s the youngest lol

Chubby fingers? Chubby fingers

He doesn’t like ANYONE touching his phone (having such brothers, can you blame him?)– Posessive of his stuff!

The easiest to scare! Truly the baby boy of the family!

He’s actually very impatient. In the other hand, he tends to arrive to events at least 5 minutes late with a wink, this asshole lol

He says many bad things about his brothers– but like Osomatsu, deep down, he loves them deeply (the movie proves this >:D)

Usually eats out (mixers, dates, etc). His eating habits are a bit of a mess

Sweet tooth! Sweet tooth! Sweet tooth! Sweet tooth!

#ask #osomatsu san #first ask of the year!!#also i love when yall send me asks involving hcs ;w;#long post #i got... carried away lol #osomatsu #karamatsu #choromatsu #ichimatsu #jyushimatsu #todomatsu #anonymous

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jackscnallen · 5 years ago

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letter task – task number five.

a compilation of unsent letters jackson allen has written dawn madden.

jackson’s first unsent letter to dawn madden, written at age fifteen.

dear dawn,

i want to hold your hand in front of everyone, but i can’t. every time i see you, my knees go weak and my breath catches in my throat, but no one can know. i keep this crush to myself because i don’t want to hurt any of the friendships i have with you and your brother. i know he’s protective of you and i don’t want him to view me differently if i tried to make a move on you. so i’ll just admire you from afar.

from, jackson

jackson’s second unsent letter to dawn madden, written at age sixteen.

dear dawn,

sometimes i just want to hear your voice and feel your heartbeat in the space between us, but i’m thinking i can’t let myself do that until i tell you how i feel. so i might be waiting forever. whenever i see you in person, i keep stuttering and stammering over all these things i have to say to you, but the fear of rejection always holds me back. sometimes i think it would be better to move on to someone new, but where would that leave me? so, i just keep my mouth shut and decide that it’s for the best if i don’t say anything yet.

love, jackson

jackson’s third unsent letter (parents thought it was junk mail, so they threw it away) to dawn madden, written at age seventeen.

dear dawn,

hi. wow, oh my god this is already a bad start to a love letter. i don’t even know what to write! why am i even writing this? i have no idea what to say. is this letter going to be given to you? i hope not. i can write letters for days, but honestly, i have no idea what to write to you. it’s late in the night and i decided to start this now since a lot of my thoughts come together at midnight. it’s weird. and you didn’t need to know that. let’s try this again, let me start over.

hey there! okay, that was pretty shitty for an introduction, but i’m keeping it since this is “the final copy”. i just wanted to write you something that show you how i truly feel about you, if that’s alright. from the first time i saw you, i was smitten. how can one person be so beautiful in so many different ways? you’ve got eyes so stunning that they can put the northern lights to shame, a heart so full of love it rivals all the love songs on every radio station. as i got to know you, i always wondered how could someone so beautiful actually exist and be friends with me? you’re someone who finds beauty in everyone and everything you come into contact with. i really need to thank you for being my friend. i mean, i know most people don’t really see it as a big deal, but you being my friend is a really big deal to me. i know, it’s probably weird that it’s such a big deal to me, but no matter how how long this friendship lasts ( and i genuinely hope it lasts ), i just need you to know it means a lot to me. and yes, i do consider you to be my friend, too. i know your brother’s my best friend and he is, don’t get me wrong, but i think we have a special friendship, too.

i realized that i’ve never felt more comfortable around anyone than when i’m with you. is that weird? that’s probably weird. ignore that. i don’t know. i just don’t feel the need to hide anything when we’re together and it’s weird because i’m so used to faking a smile, but around you i can be crying or something and you wouldn’t judge me or force me to talk about what’s wrong. i don’t need to hide anything. i can tell you things that i can’t tell anyone else and that genuinely scares me. i think it scares me just because i’ve never felt so vulnerable. i think it’s a good vulnerability, though? i’m so used to keeping all of my secrets under lock and key, and i’m sure if i didn’t have you in my life i would probably just combust one day from all the secrecy and thoughts running throughout my brain. this all makes it sound like i’m putting the weight of my world on your shoulders now, but i swear i’m not doing that! i just... i mean... we can carry the weight of our worlds together now, because you can trust me too. i will never judge you. ever.

i just... i just thought that this would be a good opportunity to tell you how much i love you. i'm moving to los angeles soon, so i thought i would leave you with something to remember me by. whenever you need someone, i’m really just a phone call, a facetime call, or a text away. you know that, right? i don’t mind sacrificing hours of sleep or anything for a friend, you know? i’m literally available 24/7 if you want to talk or whatever. i just need you to know you can depend on me. i think i’m pretty trustworthy. i hope i’m trustworthy. i know you have other people you could talk to, too, but you know. just for reference. just in case. i don’t know. see, you probably thought this whole rambling thing was just when i was actually speaking. sorry to disappoint. as you may have noticed by now, it’s not. anyways, i hope now that high school is over you have the chance to be everything you've always wanted to be. you are so unique, more than you maybe even realize. you are so funny and you make so many people smile on a daily basis. you are so, so loved by those around you. you are a well of incredible, endless creativity and enthusiasm. i adore your enthusiasm and i think you really do deserve the entire world, you are a true star that shines, even in a sea of darkness. your friendship does mean everything to me, it’s so hard to find someone who you just get along with so quickly and so beautifully. you have so much value, not only in your talents and your brilliant mind, but also in your heart. every day should really be filled with recognition of just how amazing you are.

so i guess my point of this letter is: do you love me, too?

love, jackson

jackson’s fourth unsent letter to dawn madden, written at age twenty.

dear dawn,

wow, i haven’t written to you in years. not since the last letter i wrote to you never got sent. maybe it was the sign from the universe that i should give up on my damn crush for you. but, it has been almost four years since we last talked. i mean, i still talk to your brother but i haven’t spoken to you since i left for the city of angels. i’m sorry i haven’t reached out to you myself, but i haven’t been in the best place here in los angeles. words will never be enough to explain how much i miss you. it doesn’t come often, but when it does, it overwhelms me. it’s like visiting the sea and the times i do visit, the waves are rather strong. and it amplifies the space you left in my heart. i miss you.

ah, there it is, the familiar ache in my heart.

i miss you. maybe i believe in a world that will let us meet again through an instance that we both never expected. maybe, all throughout these years, the world has been planning for a funny reunion. i’d like that, something mundane yet funny. i can picture many scenarios of how it would unfold, but there’s one thing that is present in all of them, it would be our laughter followed by a tight hug. maybe. one day. someday. for the meantime, i send my well wishes through the stars. i hope the world has been giving you the happiness that you deserve.

love, jackson

jackson’s fifth unsent letter to dawn madden, written at age twenty one.

dear dawn,

how are you?

the sky is clear tonight, unlike the clouded heart that has been accompanying me the past days. my days have been weary and dreary with the constant knocks of loneliness on my door. but it’s okay, i’m okay. i am slowly relearning how to take baby steps again, and reacquainting myself with the feeling of losing my sight, forcing me to feel myself out of the darkness. i’m alright. i’ll do better.

how about you? is the world treating you well? did you see your favorite sunset or maybe had your favorite cup of coffee? you know, i always wonder about you and how this world works, or would work, for us to look at the same sunrise as we both untangle ourselves from a good night’s sleep. i don’t have the exact answer for that nor a vague idea on how everything would unfold, but know that i am here. waiting. making repairs in my humble home. i just wish to the stars that by the time our paths cross again, i have enough warmth to welcome you into my arms. for the meantime, i’ll continue to look at the night sky and wonder how your night is unfolding.

love, jackson

jackson’s sixth unsent letter to dawn madden, written at age twenty two.

dear dawn,

wow, seeing you for the first time in years made me turn into a shy, sweaty palmed teenager all over again. you still look like the same dawn i remember. the one with the doe eyes and sweet smile. i couldn’t help but melt when you gave me a hug. even after all these years, you’re still someone with a heart i know like the back of my hand. i know we have a lot of catching up to do, but i know that when i’m in any conversation with you, no matter how we’re both feeling or where we’re at, i can let my walls down around you. and that just means so fucking much to me. you’ve had my back when i’m at my lowest, when i’m doubting myself and everything around me, and that’s something that i will never ever forget. we are not by any means easy people to get to know past all of the surface layers, but i am getting more comfortable with myself and expressing that to people i care about, and i think you’re getting there too. we can make it work because that’s how important and special and wonderful this friendship is. i will always wait for you, through the bad times and the awful times, when you struggle with yourself and when you struggle with me. i think we have a friendship, a connection, that is truly worth fighting for and keeping.

love, jackson

jackson’s seventh unsent letter to dawn madden, written at age twenty three.

dear dawn,

it’s been months since i last wrote to you. maybe because i have been pondering about the path i want to take. the kind of person i want to be. or maybe i have been trying my best to run away from vulnerability. and i know how the thought of writing to you makes me soft, and open, and emotional of some sort. but here i am, being a little more brave by each passing day.

do you remember when i asked you what you wanted between sharp breaths, with my hands shaking on the train in mid-january? perhaps you didn’t hear, i’ve only ever said it in my head. only in the moments when nothing exists beyond being reckless and young with a passion that astonishes – only in those moments do i let myself realize what i want. and it’s you. it’s been you for as long as i can remember. and i consider that i would like it quite a bit if we were something real, rather than a fever dream fueled by my mind.

love, jackson

jackson’s eighth unsent letter to dawn madden, written at age twenty four.

dear dawn,

i think it’s a cruel joke. the day i decide to admit to you that i’m in love with you, i realize that you’ve been pining over some guy all this time. that’s just brilliant. and it’s not just some guy, though, it’s ryder. one of my best friends and my band mate. i’m trying to play nice, trying to be kind, but sometimes jealousy flares up and i just want curse at myself for not telling you about my feelings sooner. i could make a scrapbook of all my memories with you, all the hours of phone calls and legions of texts and driving in the middle of the night when you needed to be with someone and your brother wasn’t available. but i can’t be mad or jealous at all because you’re not even mine nor are you a prize to be won. so instead of wallowing and having a huge fuckin’ pity party for myself, i’ll help you get the guy. ryder’s actually an incredible man and he’s pretty worthy of you. i mean, hell, i don’t blame you for falling for him. i would, too, probably. yeah, anyways, i can’t help but feel like we still have a chance to be something more than friends, but for now, i’ll let you go and allow you to get the man of your dreams.

always yours, jackson

#malnatitasks #will she ever get these letters?? perhaps not #( ❛ ░ ▌take a piece of my heart // tasks.

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dustedmagazine · 5 years ago

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Dust Volume 6, Number 8

Angel Olsen

Now half a year in the pandemic, we’re starting to see the emergence of quarantine records, whether in the trove of reissues hastily assembled to stand in for new product or home recorded projects made with extremely close friends and family or albums that are conceived and written around the concept of isolation. Music isn’t real life, exactly, but it lives nearby. And in any case, it’s still music and can be good or bad whether it’s been unearthed from a forgotten box of tapes, recorded at home without collaboration or side people or technologically gerry-rigged so that distanced partners can work together. So, as long as you all are making music, we will continue to listen and find records that move us, as the world burns all around. This edition’s contributors included Patrick Masterson, Andrew Forell, Tim Clarke, Jennifer Kelly, Bill Meyer, Jonathan Shaw, Justin Cober-Lake and Ray Garraty. Enjoy.

+ — #playboy (Deluxe Edition) (self-released)

#playboy (deluxe edition) by +

One of the most genuinely confounding records I’ve heard this year comes courtesy SEO-unfriendly artist + aka Plus Sign fka Emanuel James Vinson, a Chicago rapper, city planner and all-around community activist who spends his time helping with the city’s Let’s Build Garden City initiative when he’s not making music (which is frequent, by the way — take a look at the breadth of that Bandcamp discography). The concept with #playboy, originally released in April but deluxed in late May, is simple: Two kids find a music machine called #playboy in their basement and start tinkering with it. Its childlike whimsy is conveyed in the song titles (“Getting the Hang of It,” “Wake Up Jam (Waking Up)”) every bit as much as it is in the music, with occasionally grating indulgences, the odd earworm and a brief appearance by borderless internet hip-hop hero Lil B that makes perfect sense in context; the kindred spirit of that community-building cult auteur is strong here. You may wind up loving this record or you may wind up hating it, but I can promise you this: You’ll be thinking about it and the artist behind it long after it’s over.

Patrick Masterson

Actress — Mad Voyage Mixtape (self-released)

I once suggested Darren Cunningham mucks about with his music because he can’t help himself. That was about six years ago on the occasion of his purported “final” album Untitled; with the benefit of hindsight, we can see he was (like so many others, to greater or lesser consequence) just pulling our leg with that PR. Hell, he’s released two albums worth of music in July alone: The first was the mid-month surprise LP 88, which follows in the vein of his acclaimed high period as an often brilliant, occasionally frustrating patchwork of submersible beats best played at high volume with a low end. The second came at the end of the month in an m4a file shared the old fashioned way on a forum via Mediafire link, nearly an hour and a half long, and per the man himself, “All SP-303, sketchbook beats, recorded this past week [the first week of July] straight to recorder or cassette.” It feels very much like a homespun Actress mixtape and is probably best thought of as livelier accompaniment to 88 but, even still, there’s no noticeable drop in quality — once Actress, always Actress. If headier lo-fi beat tapes are your beat, this will slot comfortably in line.

Patrick Masterson

bdrmm - Bedroom (Sonic Cathedral)

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Hull five-piece bdrmm play a satisfyingly crepuscular version of shoegaze on their debut album Bedroom. Ryan Smith, his brother Jordan on bass, guitarist Joe Vickers, Danny Hull on synths and drummer Luke Irvin combine the widescreen sound of Ride with a cloak of gothic post-punk. Like the late, lamented Girls Names, bdrmm find a sweet spot where atmosphere and dynamics either build to euphoric crescendos or bask in bleak funereal splendor. Bedroom seems deliberately sequenced from celebration to lament. “A Reason To Celebrate” evokes Ride at their most anthemic, the tripping staccato driven “Happy” summons the spirit of The Cure of Seventeen Seconds before the pace drops for the second half, the songs become quieter and darker as the band finds a more personal voice. “(The Silence)” is an ambient whispered wraith of a thing, “Forget The Credits” impressively mopey slowcore. bdrmm don’t always transcend their influences, but this debut is an atmospheric treat if your taste runs to the darker end of the musical buffet.

Andrew Forell

Circulatory System — Circulatory System (Elephant 6 Recording Co.)

Circulatory System by Circulatory System

Nearly 20 years after its initial release, the excellent eponymous debut album by Will Cullen Hart’s psychedelic chamber-pop band Circulatory System gets a long overdue vinyl reissue. While his previous project, the undeniably great Olivia Tremor Control, tended to lean more towards classic psych-pop’s traditional tropes — hard-panned drums, loads of disorientating tape effects, wonky harmonized vocals — Circulatory System taps into something utterly uncanny. Both Signal Morning (2009) and Mosaics Within Mosaics (2014) have their moments, but this is front-to-back brilliant, conjuring a sublime atmosphere of reflective estrangement. The music is a thick, grainy soup of shimmering instrumentation, from the eerie (“Joy,” “Now,” “Should a Cloud Replace a Compass?”) to the joyful (“Yesterday’s World,” “The Lovely Universe,” “Waves of Bark and Light”), but part of the album’s magic is the way everything flows into a seamless whole. As is vinyl’s tendency, the rhythm section really comes alive here, the fuzz bass and tom-heavy drum parts booming out, with plenty of vivid details in the mix swimming into view. A worthy reissue of an essential album.

Tim Clarke

Cloud Factory — #1 (Howlin’ Banana)

Cloud Factory #1 by Cloud Factory

Cloud Factory, from Toulouse, France, overlays the serrated edges of garage pop with a serene dream-pop drift. It’s an appealing mix of hard and soft, like being pummeled to death by pillows or threatened gunpoint by a teddy bear. “Amnesia,” for instance, erupts in a vicious, sawed off, trouble-making bass line, then soars from there in untroubled female vocals. Later, “No Data,” punches hard with raw percussion, then lays on a liquid, lucid guitar line that encourages middle-distance staring. None of these songs really up the ante with memorable melodies, sharp words or that intangible R’NR energy that distinguishes great punk rock from the so so. Not loud, not soft, not great, not bad. Cloud Factory resides in the indeterminant middle.

Jennifer Kelly

Entry — Detriment (Southern Lord)

Detriment by Entry

Nuthin fancy here, folks. Just eight songs — plus a flexing, fuzzing intro — of American hardcore punk. Entry has been grinding away for a few years now, and Detriment doesn’t advance much past the musical terrain the band marked off on the No Relief 7-inch (2016). That’s OK. The essential formula is time tested: d-beat rhythms, overdriven amps and Sara G.’s ferocious vocals delivering the necessary affect. That would be: pissed off, just this side of hopeless. Detriment sounds like what might happen if Poison Idea (c. 1988) stumbled into a seminar on Riot Grrrl; after everyone got tired of beating the living shit out of one another, they’d make some songs. “Selective Empathy” is pretty representative. Big riffs, a breakdown, and more than enough throaty yelling to let you know that you’re in some trouble. You might recognize the sound of Clayton Stevens’ guitar from his work with Touché Amoré — but maybe it’s better if you don’t. This isn’t music for mopery. Watch out for the spit, snot and blood, and flip the record.

Jonathan Shaw

Equiknoxx — VF Live: Equiknoxx (The Vinyl Factory)

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There’s nothing like a little roots music to get you through the sweltering summer heat, and this early July mix by Gavin “Gavsborg” Blair (half of forward-thinking Kingston dancehall unit Equiknoxx) was a personal favorite of the past month for hitting that spot. The group tends to throw curveballs at the genres it tinkers with, and Blair’s mix highlights why they’re so good at it: The crates run deep. Spanning everything from legendary producer and DJ Prince Jazzbo to in-house music fresh out the box (e.g., “Did Not Make This For Jah_9” was released in late May), Blair sets the mood and educates you along the way. Like everything else these cats do (and that includes the NTS show — support your independent radio station!), it’s hard not to give the highest recommendation.

Patrick Masterson

Ezra Feinberg — Recumbent Speech (Related States)

Recumbent Speech by Ezra Feinberg

Knowing that Ezra Feinberg is a practicing psychoanalyst, it’s tempting to read meaning into the name of his second solo album. But be careful to think twice about the meaning you perceive and ask yourself, is it the product of Feinberg on the couch or your own projection? His choice to name one of the record’s six instrumentals (there are voices, but no words) “Letter To My Mind” certainly suggests that there’s an internal dialogue at work, but the music feels most like a layered deployment of good ideas than an exchange of intrapsychic forces. The synthesizers shimmer and cycle like something from a mid-1970s Cluster record, resting upon a pillow of vibraphone and electric piano tones, which in turn billow under the influence of undulating layers of drums. Feinberg’s guitar leads are bright and pithy, like something Pat Metheny might come up with if he knew he was going to have to pay a steep price for every note he played. Ah, but there I go, projecting an implication of adversary process where there may be none. Might it be that Feinberg, having spent a full work week immersed in the psychic conflicts of others, wants to lay back on the couch and exhale? If so, this album is an apt companion.

Bill Meyer

Honey Radar — Sing the Snow Away: The Chunklet Years (Chunklet)

Sing the Snow Away: The Chunklet Years by Honey Radar

Jason Henn of Honey Radar has a solid claim at being his generation’s Bob Pollard, a prolific, absurdist songwriter, who tosses off hooky melodies as if channeling them from the spirit world. His least polished material glints with melody hidden beneath banks of fuzz, whispery and fragile on records, but surprisingly muscular in his rocking live shows. This 28-song compilation assembles the singles, splits, EPs and bonus tracks Henn recorded for Chunklet between 2015 and the present; it would be a daunting amount of material except that it goes down like cotton candy, sweet, airy, colorful and gone before you know it. Like the Kinks, Henn has a way of making strident rock and roll hooks sound wistful and dreamy. In “Lilac Pharmacy,” guitar lines rip and buck and roar, but from a distance, hardly disrupting Henn’s placid murmur. “Medium Mary Todd” ratchets up the tension a bit, with a tangled snarl of lick and swagger, but the vocals edge towards quiet whimsy a la Sic Alps; a second version runs a bit hotter, rougher and more electric, while a third, recorded at WFMU, gives an inkling of the Honey Radar concert experience. A couple of fine covers — of the Fall’s early rant “Middle Class Revolt” and of the Monkees rarity “Wind-Up Man”— suggest the fine, loamy soil that Henn’s art grows out of, while alternate versions of half a dozen tracks hint at the various forms his ideas can take. It’s a wonderful overview of Honey Radar so far, though let’s hope it’s not a career retrospective. Henn has a bunch of records left to make yet if he wants to edge out Pollard.

Jennifer Kelly

Iron Wigs — Your Birthday’s Cancelled (Mello Music Group)

Your Birthday's Cancelled by IRON WIGS

As an adjective, “goofy” had gotten a bad rep in hip hop. Anything that is unusual, inventive and not in line with “keeping it real” is immediately stigmatized as goofy, weird, nerdy and bad. Iron Wigs is goofy but hold the pejorative connotations. Chicago representatives Vic Spencer and Verbal Kent team up here with Sonnyjim from the UK to do some wild rhyming. They collaborated before, but Your Birthday’s Cancelled is a complete, fully fleshed project, masterfully executed from start to finish. Instead of the usual gun busting you get a fist in the ribs. Instead of drug slinging, a blunt to activate your rhymes. Each member of the group has a distinctive delivery which makes you to listen carefully for every verse, no skipping. It’s a relief to listen to rap artists who don’t pretend they’re out in the streets while they’re at home enjoying a favorite TV series. The standout track here is “Bally Animals & Rugbys” with Roc Marciano dropping by for a verse.

Ray Garraty

Levinson / Mahlmeister — Shores (Trouble In Mind)

Shores by levinson / mahlmeister

Jamie Levinson and Donny Mahlmeister’s Bandcamp page indicates that they’re based in Oak Park, a suburb of Chicago. This goes further towards explaining their association with Trouble in Mind Records, which is located in the same county, than their music, which brings to mind something much further north. The duo’s music is mostly electronic, with modular synthesizers setting the pulse and sweeping the pitch spectrum while lap steel guitar adds flourishes and a shruti box thickens the textures. The album is split into two, with each track — one is named “Ascend,” the other “Release” — taking up one side of a 50-minute cassette. The first side trundles steadily onwards, and the second seems to bask in a glow to that never totally fades. Since there’s no “Descend,” it’s easy to imagine this music sound tracking a drive into the Canadian north, the journey unspooling under a sky that never darkens, its progress towards Hudson Bay unhindered by other traffic or turns in the road. Perhaps that’s just one listener’s fantasy of easy social distancing and escape from the present’s grim digital glare into a retro-futurist, analog dream. But in dreams we’re free to fly without being seated next to some knucklehead with his mask over his eyes instead of his mouth, so dream on, dreamers. This tape is volume one of the Explorers Series, Trouble in Mind’s projected program of limited edition cassette releases.

Bill Meyer

Klara Lewis — Ingrid (Editions Mego)

Klara Lewis’s latest recording shows a narrowing of focus. Previously she seemed to be trying ideas and methods on for size, investigating ambient electronics or hinting at pop melody without completely committing. Given the approach to music modeled by her father, Graham Lewis of Wire and Dome, she probably does not feel the need to do just one thing, and that’s a healthy angle if one wants to stay interested and flexible. But there’s also something to be said for really digging into an idea, and that’s what she has done here. Ingrid is a one-track, one-sided 12.” Burrowing further into one-ness, it is made from one looped cello phrase, which gets filtered and distorted on each pass. The effect suggests decay, but not so much the gradual transformation of a William Basinski piece as the pitiless abrasion of a woodworker going over a plank with sander. The combination of repetition and coarsening hits a spot closer to one that Tony Conrad might reach, and that’s an itch worth scratching.

Bill Meyer

Luis Lopes Humanization 4tet — Believe, Believe (Clean Feed)

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The cruel economics of contemporary creative music-making favor an ensemble like Humanization 4tet. At a minimum, the filial Texan rhythm section of Stefan and Aaron Gonzalez (drums and bass respectively) and Lisbon-based duo of Rodrigo Amado (tenor saxophone) and Luís Lopes can each count on having the other half of a band on the other side of the Atlantic. But any project that’s on its fourth record in a dozen years has more going for it than the chance to save on plane tickets. For the Portuguese musicians, it’s an opportunity to feel an unabashedly high-energy force at their backs, as well as a chance to drink from a deep well of harmolodic blues. And for the Gonzalez brothers, it’s the reward of being the absolute right guys for the job; it has to be a gas to know that the heft they put into their swing is so deeply appreciated. While Lopes’ name remains up front, everyone contributes compositions, and everyone gives their all on every tune.

Bill Meyer

Joanna Mattrey — Veiled (Relative Pitch)

Veiled by Joanna Mattrey

This solo CD, which closely follows a collaborative cassette on Astral Spirits, is only the second recording with Joanna Mattrey’s name on the spine. But Mattrey is no newcomer. The New England Conservatory-trained violist has been playing straight and pop gigs for a while. If you caught Chance the Rapper on Saturday Night Live, Cuddle Magic with strings or a host of classical gigs around New York City, you’ve seen her. But if black dress and heels gigs pay her bills, improvised music nourishes her heart. And if sounds raw enough to scrape the roof of the world nourish yours, this album is new food. The premise of Veiled is finding veins of concealed beauty concealed, and that search impels Mattrey to tune her viola to sound like a horse-haired Tuvan fiddle, clamp objects to the strings and blast her signal through some satisfyingly filthy amplification. And whether it’s a slender tune or a complex texture, the reward is always there.

Bill Meyer

Angel Olsen — “Whole New Mess” single (Jagjaguwar)

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Everyone processes a breakup differently (though, to be fair, that’s probably less true now than ever). For Angel Olsen in 2018, it meant retreating to The Unknown, a century-old church in Anacortes, Washington, that Mount Eerie’s Phil Elverum and producer Nicholas Wilbur made into a recording studio. What ultimately came from those sessions was All Mirrors, but Whole New Mess is a chance to revisit that album (fully nine of these 11 songs are ones you’ve heard before; only the title-track and “Waving, Smiling” are new) in a more intimate framework — just Angel, a guitar, a mic and her reverberant heartache. The most cynical view to be taken here is that it’s a stopgap capitalizing on people’s vulnerability amid a pandemic quarantine, but it could also be a corrective for the bloat of All Mirrors, a record I listened to once and haven’t thought about since. Late Björkian excess doesn’t suit her nearly as well as the light touch delivered herein, and your interest will similarly hinge on how much Whole New Mess sounds like the old one.

Patrick Masterson

Ono — Red Summer (American Dreams)

Red Summer by ONO

Ono, the long-running noise-punk-poetry-protest project headed by P Michael Grego and travis, tackles the Red Summer of 1919, evoking the brutal race riots that erupted as soldiers returned from World War I. During that summer, conflicts raged from Chicago to the deep south, as white supremacists rioted against newly empowered returning Black veterans and an increased number of Black factory workers employed in America’s northern factories. Ono captures the violence—and its links to contemporary race-based conflicts—in an abstract and visionary style, with travis declaiming against an agitated froth of avant garde sound. “A Dream of Sodomy” lurches and rolls in funk-punk bravado, as travis declaims all the nightmarish scenarios that haunt his nocturnal hours, while “Coon” natters rhythmically across a fever-lit foundation of hand-drums, mosquito buzz and flute. “26 June 1919” wanders through a blasted, rioting landscape, sounds buzzing and pinging and roaring around travis’ fractured poetry. “White men, red men, Manchester town, send ‘em home, Oklahoma, send ‘em home, in a Black man house, send ‘em home, send ‘em home,” he chants, ominously, vertiginously. The center isn’t holding, for sure. The disc closes with the uneasy truce of “Sycamore Trees,” where steam blasts of synthesizer sound rush up and around travis’ vibrating, basso verses about meeting under the sycamore trees, a metaphor like the blues and gospel and nearly all Black music is full of metaphor about reuniting in a better place. Powerful.

Jennifer Kelly

Julian Taylor — The Ridge (Howling Turtle, Inc.)

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Singer-songwriter Julian Taylor does the little things well. That's not to say that he doesn't do the obvious things well, too, on his latest release The Ridge. His easy voice fits his songs, letting autobiography come with comfortable phrasing. As a writer, he tends toward the straightforward, avoiding extended metaphors or oblique references. The title track considers a particular form of life, and Taylor sticks to the tangible, singing about the stable, “Shovel manure, clean their beds, and prepare the feed for the day.” Taylor's songs make sense of the immediate world and relationships around him, but they avoid woolgathering. The album feels a bit removed from the current climate, but that's no complaint when Taylor's developed a welcoming place to visit. It isn't always easy here, but it's always companionable.

But back to those little things. Each song has carefully detailed orchestration and production. The record goes down easy whether tending toward James Taylor, Cat Stevens or something closer to country, and much of that easiness comes from the precise placement of every note. Burke Carroll's pedal steel, for instance, never exists for its own sake, but to serve the lyric that Taylor sings. The album contains enough space to feel like a rural Canadian ridge, with details drawn into to support Taylor's direct stories. The Ridge could easily go unnoticed (unobtrusiveness not being a highly rewarded trait), but its subtlety and care make it worth taking your boots off and sitting down for a minute.

Justin Cober-Lake

Various Artists — For a Better Tomorrow (Garden Portal)

For A Better Tomorrow by Various Artists

Compilation albums loom large in the American Primitive Guitar realm. Takoma, Tompkins Square and Locust all had larger ambitions than merely offering a sampling of wares, and to them, Garden Portal says, “hold my beer. I’ve got some collecting and playing to do.” For A Better Tomorrow started out as a Bernie Sanders fundraising endeavor. But when Bernie bailed and COVID-19 came on the scene, Garden Portal pivoted to support Athens Mutual Aid Network, an umbrella organization that coordinates aid to the underserved in this trying time. But in addition to good works, there’s some good work going on here. Not all of it is guitar-centric, but even the tracks that aren’t are close enough to the strings and heart template of the aforementioned parties to merit consideration under the same rubric. Joseph Allred’s been ultra-productive recently, so it’s actually helpful to be reminded of the spirit that infuses his playing by listening to it one track at a time. Rob Noyes’ “Diminished” takes the listener on a deep dive into the construction of sentiment and sound. And Will Csorba’s Pelt-like blast of fiddle drone, “Requiem for Ociel Guadalupe Martinez,” will put your hair up high enough to make that self-inflicted quarantine do a bit easier to execute.

Bill Meyer

Various Artists — The Storehouse Presents (The Storehouse)

The Storehouse Presents by The Storehouse

The coronavirus pandemic put the brakes on many things. You doubtless have your own list of loss, but for the proprietors of The Storehouse, the catalog of things kissed goodbye directly corresponds to their endeavor’s inventory of reasons to be. Over the past few years, the Storehouse has invited audiences out to a West Michigan farmhouse to enjoy a potluck meal and a concert played by some musicians of note. If there had been no lockdown, listeners could have enjoyed the Sun Ra Arkestra last April. Instead, no one’s playing, and no one’s getting paid, so the Storehouse has compiled this set of live and exclusive studio tracks to sell on Bandcamp in order to benefit the musicians and the Music Maker Relief Foundation. The cause, is good, but so are the tunes. Want to hear Steve Gunn and William Tyler in sympathetic orbit? Or Joan Shelley pledging her love? Or the first hints of Mind Over Mirrors’ new direction? Step right this way, preferably on one of 2020’s first Fridays.

Bill Meyer

Z-Ro — Rohammad Ali (1 Deep Entertainment / Empire)

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On one of his previous tracks, Z-Ro admitted that he’s basically just writing the same song over and over again (that’s how meta he is now, writing songs on writing songs). While he exaggerated a bit, he was not that far from the truth. In the last half dozen years he’s been writing the same three or four songs in various combinations, reconfigurations and forms. Rohammad Ali follows the same template: haters hate him, but he’s OK and is counting his money. Multiply this by 17, and here is the album. Despite this self-cannibalizing (lots of poets did that), Z-Ro with every new album sounds fresh and far from tired. The self-repeats just fuel him. Rohammad Ali has only one rap guest, and it’s Shaquille O’Neal whose rap career didn’t jump off in the 1990s. A lack of guests only proves that Z-Ro can self-sustain without support from the outside. The only thing from the outside he needs is hate.

Ray Garraty

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chicago-reeed · 6 years ago

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PHCK ME - Reed900 Fic Rec List

Hello!!! You might not remember, but awhile back I mentioned I had the start of a fic rec list that I planned to post (which I never did). To celebrate all 1K+ of you, I thought I would finish the list for you! It is my duty as a loyal reed900 servant.

DISCLAIMER: This list of reccomendations was made purely out of personal opinion. I by no means want to discredit any other fics/authors. Some may not agree with my choices, and that’s totally understandable. I just wanted to share these fics because I personally enjoyed them <3

I didn’t include some fics because they haven’t been updated in a long time, or I didn’t remember them enough to give them accurate reviews. Also, I’m sure there are many more fics that I forgot to put on here (these are from my ao3 bookmarks). I might include them in a future update.

Anyways, all of my recs are under the cut! There are a lot!! I had eight pages worth of them in my documents haha

Mint Condition - by itsdefinitive - Mature - Content warnings - Chapters 18/? - Reed could see what they were going for there -- the whole infallible super-soldier thing. A monument to testosterone made perfect, cast in steel within plastic. It was actually really creepy. Maybe that was on purpose.

The first reed900 fic I read, and it’s honestly what got me into the pairing itself.

Charon - by Vapewraith - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 20/20 - Gavin Reed, a mess of a human being, just wants to be left to his self destructive tendencies. RK900, an android designed by the most brilliant minds in the world to be the perfect machine, is desperate to grasp the full range of emotional freedom now afforded to him. The two will need to find an equilibrium before their incompatible personalities—and an eccentric serial killer with a dangerous piece of tech—swallow them whole.

I can’t even describe how much I love this fic. I’m a slut for horror, and there’s plenty of that in here. It might just be my favorite. Definitely recommend.

Two Sides of a Vaguely Similar Coin - by ZombiBird - Mature - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 13/? - RK900 is lost.

It’s been months since the Revolution and he’s still no closer to figuring out what the hell he’s supposed to be doing with himself. He feels like an outsider in his own body. Completely detached, nothing more than a quiet observer; like he’s looking down at the world through a layer of glass instead of fully living in it.

Gavin Reed is a temperamental asshole.

This isn’t news, okay? Gavin’s fully aware of what he is. He burns bridges instead of building them. Bites hands instead of shaking them. Would rather drown in a sea comprised of the consequences of his faults and misdeeds than try to change the way he is. Because people like him? Maybe they deserve to drown.

[Alternatively: Both lost in different ways, Gavin and RK900 try to figure their shit out and end up learning that, sometimes, it takes two people who have absolutely no idea what the hell they’re doing to get a goddamn clue.]

I don’t remember much about this fic, if I’m honest. Not that the story is forgettable, it’s just been awhile since I read it. However, the title definitely stood out to me so I know it was very good :P

Captcha Encryption - by Cerulaine - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Content warnings - Chapters 18/? - It's a little over a year after the android uprising and it's still the end of the fucking world.

Back in the day when things became shit he used to enjoy a drink or two. Or Five. It all depended on how long the shift ran. After 'The Accident' he can't even cough without Nines breathing down his neck anymore.

He just wishes everything would go back to normal, but if there's anything Gavin has learned it's that you can't unring a bell once it's been rung.

Or whatever. Fuck if he knows.

Similar situation to the last fic: I don’t remember much about it (my memory SUCKS), but I do remember thoroughly enjoying this one.

Daydreamer - by Pence - Mature - Content warnings - Chapters 21/24 - Large purple bruises twined prettily around the corpse’s throat, every finger defined in perfect cruelty. His eyes tore away from the handprints as a cold finger traced the lightning strike scar across the center of his face—drawing his attention to a small, blue lipped smile.

“Do you think you’ll ever leave this town, Gavin?”

________

When a series of Detroit murders are linked as originating in his hometown, Gavin Reed is unwillingly assigned the case. Fowler insists that his history with the place and people will hugely benefit such an investigation.

He was fucking wrong.

This fic is one big holy shit moment tbh. Really fantastic. Really makes you wonder why these authors aren’t paid to do this.

All Aboard the Underground Railroad - by Senjihae - No Rating - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 11/? - What starts as sticking it towards his half brother evolves into something with the potential to rewrite android history as he knows it. Gavin doesn't realize what he gets himself into until he is mistaken as the 'Android Messiah' of all things. It's not like he goes out of his way to help them, but his life gets a lot harder once Hank is assigned a shiny new boy toy ('sent by CyberLife').

Things only get worse when he's gifted a heap of metal of his own ('sent by Elijah Kamski').

(Yeah, fuck off Elijah)

Very interesting fic. Gavin is RA9 so that’s a thing. A nice slow burn!

Dragon Become Age - by errantwheat - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Content Warnings - Chapters 11/? - Y’all wanted me to write dragon age!au so I did :)

YES! YES! YES! DRAGON AGE AU! YES! YES! YES! (it’s really gud)

Warmth - by TheRedPaladin101 - Teen and Up Audiences - No Warnings - Chapters 1/1 - Gavin frowned, the aching in his shoulder fading from his mind for a moment. “Then give me my jacket.”

“Your jacket is in no condition to keep you warm,” he stated. “For now, use mine and stay warm while we wait to head back to the station.”

----

Five times RK900 gave Gavin Reed his jacket, and one time Gavin gave his in return.

Very wholesome. Lives up to its title. Some good ole hurt/comfort!

Letifer - Terminallydepraved - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 19/19 - Gavin Reed is a DPD beat cop determined to make detective by any means possible, and putting an end to a string of murders looks like the quickest way to accomplishing that goal. Unfortunately for him, he fails to account for the real culprit— or the thought that perhaps he isn't the only one on the hunt for a killer.

(Now with cover art by Leetmorry!)

I love beat cop!gavin. It humbles him. And vampire!nines is scary and amazing. Love how the author wrote both of these characters (and the others too!). I definitely recommend this one!

A Strange and Beautiful Creature - by LittleLalaith - General audiences - No warnings - Chapters 7/7 - Scientist Nines is called in to Amanda's lab to assist with a new discovery - a genuine Mermaid.

While Amanda is indifferent to the creature's circumstances, Nines builds an unlikely connection to the specimen and they grow a little closer than either of them expected.

(AKA Gavin is a sassy sea slug and Nines thrills in breaking the safety protocols)

Mermaid au! Nines wants to save mermaid Gavin, and it’s all very wholesome.

I Think You Do - by spotlightonmringenue - Teen and Up Audiences - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 16/? - “Son of a bitch, there’s another one. What the fuck is it doing,” Gavin says, grip going white on the gun as the android continues to stare at him without acknowledging Connor.

“RK900, my name is Connor. I’m part of a group called Jericho that recovered you from Cyberlife’s Production Center late yesterday. We are currently in the Detroit Police Department Central Station. Are you feeling okay?”

“It doesn’t feel shit,” Gavin mumbles, resisting the urge to step back as the RK900 takes a step closer. It holds out the cup, and Gavin’s eyes dart to it for only a second before flipping between Connor and his doppelganger.

“You requested coffee,” it says, and Hank sighs, leaning back against his desk while rubbing a hand over his forehead.

Quality ‘enemies to friends’ content. Nines is intimidating. Gavin is confused. Good times.

Flying with Crooked Wings - by UnCon - Mature - No warnings - Chapters 20/? - “Listen, kid,” Gavin started, cutting off the desolate child. Sure it was sad his dog had died but it wasn’t Gavin’s fault no one taught the little twerp chocolate was a dog’s kryptonite, “he’s in a better place, alright, so if you’d just stop asking for him to come back—it’d be much appreciated.”

“You promise?” the eight-year-old asked, his big brown eyes looking like glass—fragile and sparkly.

“Yeah,” Gavin lied, looking away as he did it—his halo going a bit crooked. To be honest, he wasn’t sure where dogs went after they died, only that he was tasked with calming the little boys and girls who despaired after them—at least until his punishment was up. “So just, you know, go to sleep and all that.”

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In a world where angels and demons inhabit the same earth, both searching for a way to overthrow the other, both failing--Gavin sits right in the middle, with a crooked halo and a pair of wings to match. It's not enough to be a bit mischievous, however, he also has to get caught up in the demon brothers' scheme to take over heaven. Perfect.

Really good! This fic has the interesting dynamic of Gavin as an angel and Nines as a demon. Check it out!

The Red String Will Still Connect Us Ten Thousand Miles Apart (and to the moon and back) - by Jillflur - Teen and Up - Content warnings - Chapters 5/5 - Gavin, an ‘unlovable’ man without a Soulmate. He was used to it, never had one since he could remember. However, that little fact changes when he wakes up one day and realizes that he suddenly has a Red String connected to his ring finger. It only gets worse when months later, an android walks into the precinct who apparently is his new Soulmate!

Can androids even have Soulmates?!

To make everything even more complicated, a sudden new killer is on the Streets, and he murders people by cutting their Red Strings!

A soulmate fic by our very own jillflur! So good. Amazin. I love the red string trope so much. Yall should big read.

the prince & the reed - by Pence - Mature - Content warnings - Chapters 2/? - "I wanted to marry you," the prince murmured, polished armor gleaming as he stared down at the injured man--icy eyes tinged with sadness. Regret.

A guttural scream ripped from the soldier's throat as a heel dug into his wound, arm coated crimson from his weeping shoulder.

The soldier's teeth were stained pink as he jerked his chin up to grin toothily at the other man, bloody fingers scrambling down his thigh in search of the dagger tucked into his boot.

"Then drop to your knees and ask me properly, Nines."

Okay this fic is only two chapters and hasn’t been updated in awhile but GOT DAMN do I love how the author set this medieval fic up. I’m a slut for the medieval au’s, so that’s just extra points.

Not a teacher but I can teach you a thing or two - by Adishailan - Teens and Up - No warnings - Chapters 20/20 - Gavin owed the walking hunk of plastic. He owed him. Ugh, Gavin hated owing people stuff. It gave him a horrible feeling in his stomach, like indigestion, except worse because it involved emotionsTM. This, coupled with the fact he was pumped up with drugs and suffering a concussion, was why he was about to make a terrible, terrible mistake.

“‘Kay. Fine. Thanks or whatever. Lemme know if you ever need anythin' prick.”

RK900’s LED went yellow at this, and this time Gavin was pretty sure he was doing the processing thing. It was still yellow even when he nodded in a serious way and said:

“That would be useful.”

Oh man this one is BIG CUTE! It’s so soft, and is a fantastic slow burn. I totally recommend this fic.

O May I Join the Choir Invisible - by BanishedOne - Mature - No warnings - Chapters 13/? - Gavin Reed was a new inmate at a prison where the infamous killer, R. Nathan Kearney, was on death row. Circumstances led to an unfortunate encounter.

Okay don’t quote me on this but I think you can find the rest of this fic on Twitter. It was posted in a bunch of seperate posts and it was really confusing but there was definitely extra chapters. You can find the post here (or at BanishedOne on twitter). Other than that, this is a really good fic! The boys get into a lot of trouble!

Neon Maps - by caffienefueledfeels - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Content warnings - Chapters 11/11 - Everyone has their limits. Gavin is about to discover several of his own.

He's broke, barely scraping along, and struggling to keep an aggressive black-mailer off his back. On top of that, the grey-eyed distraction in his bed is about to test his heart in more ways than one.

Cyberpunk fic!! Super interesting! Go check it out!

Computers Are Elaborate Cat Beds, Actually - by errantwheat - No Rating - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 6/? - “Marvelous find, Gavin. They’ll promote you for this, surely.”

Gavin pulled an exaggerated frown. He was awfully animated for a robot. “Jesus, What kind of human are you? I’m waving a fucking kitten in your face and you’re still a bitch.”

Really cute. I’m pretty sure there’s some art to go with this fic. Super duper cute reverse au!

More Than a Woman, More Than a Bride - by AvixiLynn91 - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Content warnings - Chapters 38/? - When Gavin’s life is threatened for the last time by a violent gang expanding the production of a new drug in Detroit, Captain Fowler must come up with a plan for his safety. Perhaps forcing a marriage between Nines and Gavin wasn’t the best solution he could come up with...

Oh man. This fic. Let me tell you. I’ve been with this fic since the beginning and it is one hell of a roller coaster XD. The author updates constantly, it’s really impressive.

More Like You - by Mooneye - Teen and Up - No warnings - Chapters 1/1 - “This next bit’s going to get awkward. I’m going to interface with you.”

At that he could feel the collective confusion in the room. His eyes darted up to look at Hank and then Nines. They both seemed eerily still and were possibly thinking that Gavin had surely lost his mind.

Gavin has kept his prosthetic arm, with good reason, a secret from humans and androids alike for as long as he’s had it. The prospect of losing Nines threatens to unravel everything, but perhaps it’s worth the cost.

The idea of Gavin (an android hater in-game) having a prosthetic-android arm is definitely interesting!

An Unforeseen Union - by AvixiLynn91 - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 16/16 - Gavin and Nines are sent undercover to investigate a slew of brutal murders at a gay counselling and therapy resort for androids and humans. They're forced to pose as a couple, but soon feel their relationship becoming more than an act as real feelings develop.

I loved the dramatic whodunnit vibes in this fic! It gets crazy :P

The Great DPD Kink-Off - by connorssock, LittleLalaith, Skye_Willows, Stujet9rainshine - Explicit: only suitable for adults - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 24/24 - It started out as a bit of rivalry and turned into a competition. Who was the kinkiest android in town?

If you like smut, then read this. That is all I will say.

The Black Nights, The Long Dark - by bvssbot - Explicit - Content warnings - Chapters 8/12 - translation of an amazing russian fic тёмные ночи, долгая тьма (the dark nights, the long darkness) into english

An unknown catastrophe was the reason Gavin ended up stranded alone on a godforsaken Canadian island. Having almost made peace with the thought of living in solitude for the rest of his days, he saves the life of a pilot named Richard, whose airplane crashed in the middle of his humanitarian mission.

Shit, I loved ‘The Long Dark’ and I love this fic. I don’t speak russian, unfortunately, so I must wait to read the end. But this is still amazing and you all should read it.

Detroit: Outlast - by Cardboardghost - Mature - Content warnings - Chapters 1/? - Connor Upshur is a down on his luck reporter, who spends his nights getting drunk and passing out at home. A mysterious email calls him to Mount Massive Asylum, owned by the Cyberlife corporation. Armed with nothing but a camera and his wits, Connor must brave the asylum's horrors and find way to save the people Cyberlife stole from him.

Gavin Park is a beat cop looking for a more well paying job. So when an offer to work private security at the Cyberlife corporation all but falls into his lap, how could he refuse? Gavin quickly realizes things are not what they seem, and in an attempt to expose Cyberlife, he ends up further in their clutches. Now he and Connor must work together to claw their way out of the asylum's depths, and the familiar faces that wait inside those walls.

This fic only has onw chapter, but go check out Cardboardghost’s art if you finish reading this!! They have provided so much quality content for the Outlast/DBH crossover I didn’t know I needed.

Gin & Tonic - by limchi - Explicit - No warnings - Chapters 8/? - People didn’t like Gavin Reed. Gavin Reed didn’t like people. It went together like gin and tonic, you can’t have one without the other. Nines hated him and he hated Nines. Those were the rules they played by, the rules that couldn't be changed - until fate decided they could.

It turned Gavin into pretending to dislike and Nines into a dense idiot with a crush, unable to grasp the concept of love. Both in utter denial. The catch: gravity worked against them, pulled them together at a frightening pace. Push against and defy the rules of nature or go along the prevailing forces?

Your friendly neighborhood reed900 fic. Very epic slow burn and fluff (and a hint of angst tbh). I definitely recommend!

Bitter Half - by turnabout - Mature - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 5/5 - Gavin Reed was born unmarked, and had spent his entire life expecting to die like he lived - alone. It isn't until Tina points out the new serial number on his chest that he realizes everything is about to change. Whether that's for better or for worse is up to him.

I’m a sucker for soulmate fics and this one does not disappoint!

K-900 - by Serazimei - Teen and Up - No warnings - Chapters 3/3 - Gavin and Nines were a great team. Unfortunately they were both huge workaholics. That's why when Nines' body gets busted on a job and the needed parts aren't available yet chaos is inevitable. Needing to choose between waiting and potentially being of no use at work or participate in one of Kamskis experiments and transfer his mind into an Android dog the decision is easy to make.

Who knew being in a dog body could become such a hassle? Not Nines, that's for sure.

Nines is a pup!!! I don’t believe I’ve seen a fic like this yet, so it’s really cool!

Thanks I'm Hating It - by Lupo (LupoLight) - Explicit: only suitable for adults - No warnings - Chapters 4/4 - Gavin goes to a fast food burger joint and Nines judges him. Then he realizes that Gavin isn't as much of a dick as he used to be, except he is, but in a different way. He isn't sure how to react to this knowledge.

QUALITY reed900 content

Bloodstains - by DeviantAlicee - Mature - Content warnings - Chapters 12/? - Nines is an interrogator & detective for the DPD with a dark past. His thick skin & smarts helping him to be one of the most valuable members of the department. He's cold & daunting.

GV200 is one of the first police android models who's partnered with a cruel beat cop who not only hates that his partner is an android but doesn't think GV can feel any of the cruel things he does or says to him. The android doesn't speak up due to the fear of being shut down.

Nines has no clue that the android he bumped into at a bar is in fact a police android. He just thinks that he might be somebody in need of some help. But, as time passes by & a new drug that can be used by androids begins to circulate, Nines begins to realise the situation is a whole lot more convoluted than he originally thought.

This is a really interesting reverse au! Check it out!

Team spirit - by ilse_writes - Mature - No warnings - Chapters 4/4 - Someone had the unholy idea to go camping with the department, all in the name of 'team building'. Gavin is not liking it very much. That tall instructor with his haughty manners and cool eyes... that one he likes very much.

I don’t think I’ve seen another au quite like this one. Very epic content, can we hit Gavin Reed?

Wake Up - by SkySquid22 - Mature - Content warnings - Chapters 6/? - “Gavin!”

GV200 slipped out of his stasis. He didn’t get a chance to open his eyes before a file came down on his face, smacking him.

“And here I thought tin cans didn’t sleep.”

Something was wrong.

Something was very very wrong.

DIS GOT ME F U C K E D U P!!! Bruh @skysquid200 really out here shaking my world with this fic. I was hollering while reading this like I got HYPED

Natural - by Erik_Heinrich - Teen and Up - Author chose not to warn for content - Chapters 1/? - They are all wing people.

Gavin gets partnered with Nines. As expected hes not too happy about it, but their partnership seems to be going well. That is until spring comes along. Nines wings seem a bit fidgety and Gavin is nesting. Nines doesn't realize he's been trying to court Gavin, and Gavin is just as oblivious.

or. They are both complete idiots the whole time

WING FIC WING FIC WING FIC!!!! Yall dont know how long I’ve looked for a reed900 wing fic. My homie @phckingusername out here doin God’s work <333

Thank you all so much for 1K!!! Being able to hop on Tumblr everyday and talk to you guys makes me so happy!! I really hope I didn't f up this rec list anywhere lol. Hope u guys like it!!

#thank yall so much #i cant say it enough #dbh #detroit become human #gavin reed #rk900 #nines #reed900 #fic rec list #reed900 fic recs

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doomedandstoned · 5 years ago

Text

Top 10 Albums Of The 2010′s

~By Calvin Lampert~

I think it is safe to say that underground metal has enjoyed a period of unprecedented growth and popularity in the last 10 years. But when I am saying this I am not only thinking about the heavy underground; those adherents of the Sabbath sound and this whole new wave of doom metal bands. I am thinking of the fact that (underground) metal has undergone a change in image, too.

Though frequently maligned as hipster bands (or metal for people who don't like metal), acts like Deafheaven have brought metal to a whole new audience and raised awareness of the genre as a genuine form of art that does not just exist for its own sake; that metal fans only go for gore, beer and self-referential horn-throwing. Not that Neurosis and Godflesh haven’t been ambassadors of this mindset for more than three decades already, but it feels that the understanding of metal as art seems to have finally broken through to an audience outside of the traditional metal subculture in the past decade.

I think it is in no small part thanks to some of the bands on this list I have assembled (though I may have forgone obvious picks like Alcest and Deafheaven for more personal choices). And in retrospect, it should’ve been a list of bands rather than records, as most of the artists on this list would’ve have had a claim to a spot on here, with any record they put out. Take that as a hurray for consistency. So, without further ado, my picks for the best and most remarkable records of the decade.

10. Akhlys – 'The Dreaming I' (Debemur Morti - 2015)

The Dreaming I by Akhlys

I can’t help but wonder if Naas Alcameth of AKHLYS (also of Nightbringer, Aoratos and Bestia Arcana) set out with the express intent to create what is essentially a nigh perfect atmospheric black metal record when he started working on The Dreaming I. It damn sure feels like, each strum, syllable, and beat sits at the right place; the pieces of this nightmarish puzzle fit with an unsettling ease.

Photograph by by Kuba Leszko

The sound really does justice to the underlying concept of dreams and nightmares, as you’ll rarely find a record with such an impenetrable atmosphere. Once you hit play you’re soon enveloped by countless layers of swirling guitars, all at the command of Naas Alcameth, and he seems hellbent on suffocating you with them. The Dreaming I is about as close as you can get sleep paralysis-made-music. If you put off black metal as spooky noise made by a bunch hooded esoteric nerds you might’ve found your match in Akhlys. They are just that, they’re dead serious, and the results are impressive.

9. Elephant Tree – 'Elephant Tree' (Magnetic Eye Records - 2016)

Elephant Tree by Elephant Tree

I’ve observed myself growing increasingly apart from most stoner rock as of late, sometimes even antagonizing the genre. I’m afraid I’m just burned out on it and grown embittered, so a record from those genres ending up on my Albums of the Decade list should give you a hint of just how special it really is.

That is not to say that there haven’t been some real stoner rock heavy hitters this decade, such as Gozus Revival, Valley of the Suns Sayings of the Seers or Lo-Pans Salvador, but there’s something to ELEPHANT TREE's self-titled record that just so narrowly sets it apart from the others.

Photograph by Phil Smithies

What that is I am still not quite sure, and I had my fair share of relistens. Maybe it is the tasteful balance act of the production that makes this record so wonderfully ethereal but also ridiculously crushing. Or the sleek as all hell songwriting where every hook fires but the flow remains impeccable. Or the gorgeous harmonic interplay of Jack Townley and Pete Hollands vocals. Or maybe really just the sum of it all.

Whatever it is, Elephant Tree get it so very right and it is a true joy to behold such a well-written and fine-tuned record in a genre that has become all too prone to shoddiness and idle Kyuss worship. If there is any justice in the world, Elephant Tree will be looked back as a classic of the genre.

8. Oranssi Pazuzu – 'Värähtelijä' (Svart Records/20 Buck Spin - 2016)

Värähtelijä by Oranssi Pazuzu

So many have tried to do it. Countless chonged out Hendrix worshippers. Australian neo-psych darlings. But they all failed. Turns out the holy grail of psychedelia was dug up by a bunch of dudes in the frozen wastes of Finland when they decided to throw together black metal and almost every imaginable psych rock permutation under the firmament. Absolute insanity inducing balls-to-the-wall trippiness ensues.

ORANSSI PAZUZU is their name, ego-death squared in hyperspace is their game and Värähtelijä is the latest in a slew of attempts to smear your brain across the event horizon, and their most accomplished one so far. Think Hawkwind trying to interpret the soundtrack of Interstellar with a guy being spaghettified by a black hole screaming on top of it. Huge, plodding riffs and spacey synth fuckery abound.

Film by Shelby Kray

This madness extends to their live shows, yours truly (being completely sober) suffered a sensory overload when they launched into the crescendo of the album opener "Saturaatio" at Roadburn 2016. This band is taking things to the next level, and something tells me that Värähtelijä is just another chapter in an increasingly maddening venture.

7. Conan – 'Blood Eagle' (Napalm Records - 2014)

You can’t really draw a picture of the doom scene in the '10s without CONAN. And I do mean that in quite the literal sense, as seemingly every self-respecting doom fan seems to own at least one Conan shirt and you can’t really go to a gig without seeing one.

By all accounts the band probably could’ve retired years ago and just live off those rad merch designs. But Conan knows no rest -- always writing, always touring, always scheming. Thus the band has fed a steady stream of releases to a cult-like following over the years and narrowing down the output of such an important band to just one record is no small task. My choice eventually fell on the fan favorite, 2014's Blood Eagle.

Photograph by Sally Townsend

Conan had already pretty much established themselves as the emergent sludge-doom act of the decade at that time, but as we know they’re not one to rest on their laurels and Blood Eagle was just them driving the point home and the stake deeper, solidifying a grasp on the scene that hasn’t waned ever since, and they did it oh so righteously, by the primordial might of tonal displacement and drop F glory.

Conan might have the closest thing to a universal doom appeal because they speak to your baser instincts. Songs like "Foehammer" or "Total Conquest" seem like trebuchets aimed at the synapses of your reptilian brain, and I can’t help but admire these noble DIY barbarians, who so deservedly have carved out their place in the canon of the genre.

6. SubRosa – 'More Constant than the Gods' (Profound Lore - 2013)

More Constant Than The Gods by SubRosa

SUBROSA was one of a kind. If one band calling it quits this decade broke my heart, it was them. But before doing so they gifted us three outstanding post-metal records, whose folk and chamber music flourishes felt completely unique, intimate, and anachronistic in a genre dominated by more vast and spacious narratives. They reached inward rather than outward and did so with a no-parts-wasted mentality.

In a world rife with one-trick bands, SubRosa's employ of multiple vocalists and two electric violins felt natural and unabashedly non-gimmicky, and they would reveal the true potential of their sound on 2013's harrowingly beautiful More Constant than the Gods.

Photograph by Alyssa Herrman

More Constant is remarkable for its elegant and restrained way of instilling dread. Hardly any harsh vocals, the tempo never goes beyond a steady stride, just those horrific and yet also beautiful violins, plodding guitars, and downright poetic lyrics. And SubRosa seem to feel right at home on either terrain, be it the skin-crawling lead guitar line of "Affliction" or the grandiose outro section of "Fat of the Ram." One can only hope that SubRosa will return one day. A band that was truly novel, and not just a novelty.

5. Tchornobog – 'Tchornobog' (Fallen Empire / I, Voidhanger - 2017)

TCHORNOBOG is many things. Among others, a dark, ancient Slavic deity. In the world of music, a monolithic amalgamation of extreme metal, some Eldritch chimera of cavernous black, death, and doom metal. And the beast of one Markov Soroka, though him stating that the Tchornobog inhabits his head begs the question who might really be in charge?

Photograph by Nona Limmen

Soroka does indeed seem to be guided by spirits since he started the project at the age 14, and eight years of gestation and arduous work culminated in one of the most engrossing, all-consuming records I have come across this decade. Far be it from me to reduce Tchornobog’s remarkability down to the young age of its creator, but Sorokas ambition and execution of those ambitions could run circles around a lot of veteran extreme metal bands. The man is just flat out talented. And that is not even taking his various other projects (Drown, Aureole, Krukh) into account, or his curation work through his own label, Vigor Deconstruct.

As such, Tchornobog ultimately is, among many other things, a bright spotlight shining on a young man who has all the makings of being the next big underground metal mastermind. I’m sure you’ll be inclined to agree as soon as Soroka brings out the grand piano and saxophone on "III: Non-Existence’s Warmth (Infinite Natality Psychosis)" to perform what I’d like to call Lovecraftian Lounge Music. He must have a thing for Demilich too, judging from those song titles.

4. Hell – 'III' (Lower Your Head / Pesanta Urfolk - 2012)

Hell III by Hell

There is a subtle power in melodies, particularly melancholic and sad ones. Doom, and more specifically funeral doom, have long since sought to harness the power of the melody, but I think nobody has been quite as effective or moved me so profoundly with a simple plucked melody as MSW, the singular mind of HELL.

Just one minute into Mourn, the opening (and penultimate) track of Hell III), I am already instilled with a deep sense of melancholy, but also foreboding doom. However, few songs can just thrive from having a good riff or lead -- and there’s 17 minutes yet to go. I’ll spoil you and say that in this time Hell shifts between doom, black metal, neoclassical music, and dark ambient. That’s a lot of territory to cover and it becomes apparent that for how meticulously well crafted its individual parts are, MSW never loses sight of the bigger picture and the transitions between these different sounds are seamless.

Film by Billy Goate

At the danger of sounding like a huge fucking nerd, I really am more inclined to refer to "Mourn" and its follow up "Decedere" as movements rather than songs and if the songwriting doesn’t clue you in you’ll be persuaded by the time Decedere breaks out the operatic vocals and a flute accompanied by a string ensemble. And no matter if he’s performing a contemplative acoustic piece or pounding you in the ground with some absolutely hellish (the band name is apt as can be) blackened doom, MSW always manages to maintain an aura of grandeur. MSW is not just a great songwriter, he’s a veritable composer, and III is his magnum opus.

3. Mizmor – 'Yodh' (Gilead Media - 2016)

Yodh by מזמור

If whatever has come before was bleak, then Yodh is pitch fucking black. This decade hasn’t lacked in dark records (not even taking metal into account -- Mount Eerie's A Crow Looked at Me, Nick Cave’s Skeleton Tree, or The Caretakers Everywhere at the End of Time), but taking on existential dread specifically (and thereby becoming a vessel for it) MIZMOR's Yodh remains unsurpassed in its sheer effectiveness to instill said dread in the listener and is possibly the most harrowing record of the last 10 years.

Photo by Kento Woolery

As befits the theme, Yodh genuinely sounds like the work of a broken man. A miserable slab of glacial funeral doom and grimy black metal, but delivered with a brute strength and conviction that really suggests more defiance than self-pity. I’d be remiss to not point out ALN's incredibly varied vocal performance, ranging from wretched snarls and air-starved bellows to what I can only describe as pterodactyl shrieks, all carrying the same biting vitriol as the instrumentals.

Film by Shelby Kray

Yet for all its doom and gloom, Yodh surprises with occasional moments of tenderness and outright (if melancholic) beauty, too, such as the acoustic intro of "II: A Semblance Waning" or the massive main riff of "III: The Serpent Eats Its Tail" that feels like the sort of thing Pallbearer would’ve come up with if they had been more into Mournful Congregation than Warning.

All these things combined with thoughtful, introspective lyrics make Yodh into an incredibly powerful and downright visceral record, and if for you the main draw of doom metal lies its emotional potency (as it does for me) then Yodh is an essential listen. Let ALN shout down the very pillars that uphold your personal beliefs of life’s meaning.

2. Pallbearer – 'Sorrow and Extinction' (Profound Lore - 2012)

Sorrow And Extinction by Pallbearer

Warning was the first band to try to bridge the gap between traditional and modern doom metal, and while Watching from a Distance might have a fair claim to be one of the saddest metal records out there, in my eyes it was PALLBEARER who took that formula even further and perfected it with their 2011 debut Sorrow and Extinction. To me, it’s a classic record in both senses. A landmark of post-millennium doom and a throwback to the days of yore, when Saint Vitus and Candlemass were in charge of bumming everyone out; while still maintaining the larger-than-life-feel and sonic heft of modern doom championed by bands like Yob or Neurosis.

Photo by Sally Townsend

But Sorrow and Extinction isn’t just some roided up epic doom sans the operatic vocals, Pallbearer are far too clever to suffer such a pitfall. Granted, Sorrow sounds huge, and while there’s plenty of the heavy stuff to go around what makes Sorrow so great is how catchy it is. There is no weak song on this record (admittedly there’s only five), and while most bands could only hope to one day write a riff as good as "Devoid of Redemption's" main theme, it seems like Pallbearer just comes up with them on a whim, and their ability to do so doesn’t seem to have faded three records into their career -- not even to speak of Brett Campbell's soulful lyrics and passionate delivery.

Film by Billy Goate

Then, of course, there’s the amazing guitar interplay between Campbell and Devin Holt, chiefly on the casket closer "Given to the Grave," whose second half essentially boils down to them constantly trading dramatic leads with each other like the world's most woeful ping pong game.

Sorrow and Extinction is not only a deeply moving yet utterly anthemic record, but also one that successfully marries the past and the present of doom. In that regard, it is a preciously rare and so far unsurpassed record.

1. YOB – 'Clearing the Path to Ascend' (Neurot Records - 2014)

Clearing The Path To Ascend by YOB

Writing about metal without resorting to superlatives is hard. Try to practice restraint in the presence of something whose very nature lacks restraint. I am definitely guilty of that lack of restraint; one has only got to scroll up again to confirm it. But luckily some records are so very superlative that I do not have to take that editorial high road and can fire all the “mosts” and “-ests” at will. In fact, they almost require you to use them. Clearing the Path to Ascend by YOB is one such record. Even among all these preceding superlative records it stands above and beyond.

Photo by Angelique Le Marchand

Clearing the Path to Ascend is so vast, it feels singular. It is one and it is all. When I think larger-than-life sound, Clearing comes to mind first. It has become the very benchmark with which I measure other records. Yob's big and beautiful only consists of four tracks, but they made each feel like a distinct part of a greater journey. "In Our Blood" opens with a recording of Alan Watts telling you it is "time to wake up," before the song slowly rises into a stretched-out draw and crash, eventually unfurling into a manic guitar line.

"Nothing to Win" feels like Yob's own take on Neurosis’ Through Silver in Blood. It is an unrelenting, steady 11-minute march down a highway of broken glass, utterly windswept and viciously hopeless. "Unmask the Spectre" seems to tread similarly bitter paths but manages to wrestle itself free into two grandiose spiraling crescendos.

Film by Billy Goate

The death knell of an album closer that is "Marrow" shouldn’t really need much of an introduction at this point. It still feels like I’ll see a link, post or share of it every other day. It has become an omnipresence in the doom scene, and deservingly so. Yob dials back on the gloom and shines all the brighter. "Marrow" is not just hopeful; it is downright ecstatic and by the time Mike Scheidt launches into the grand solo of the track (so very gracefully accompanied by a Hammond organ played by producer Billy Barnett) has ascended to a genuine sermon.

Though Clearing had its fair share of dark moments "Marrow" closes the record on a remarkably conciliatory note and I really think that speaks of Yob as a (metal) band. Call it a big move to offer closure -- a fitting end to such a big record. One that suits the title of ‘Album of the Decade,’ and embodies the spirit of metal that wants to be just more.

Calvin's Choice: 100 Best of the Decade

YOB - Clearing the Path to Ascend

Pallbearer - Sorrow and Extinction

Mizmor - Yodh

Hell - Hell III

Tchornobog - Tchornobog

SubRosa - More Constant Than The Gods

Conan - Blood Eagle

Oranssi Pazuzu - Värähtelijä

Elephant Tree - Elephant Tree

Akhlys - The Dreaming I

Clutch - Earth Rocker

Merkstave - Merkstave

Gozu - Revival

Chelsea Wolfe - Pain Is Beauty

Valley of the Sun - The Sayings of the Seers

Inter Arma - Paradise Gallows

Thou - Heathen

Om - Advaitic Songs

Bell Witch - Mirror Reaper

All Them Witches - Dying Surfer Meets His Maker

Horn of the Rhino - Weight of Coronation

Boss Keloid - Melted on the Inch

KALEIKR - Heart Of Lead

Jeremy Irons & The Ratgang Malibus - Spirit Knife

Woman is the Earth - Torch of Our Final Night

Weyes Blood - Titanic Rising

LINGUA IGNOTA - Caligula

Queens of the Stone Age - ...Like Clockwork

Messa - Feast for Water

Anna von Hausswolff - Dead Magic

Mamiffer - The World Unseen

Samothrace - Reverence to Stone

Primitive Man - Scorn

Fórn - The Departure of Consciousness

Khemmis - Absolution

Bongripper - Miserable

High on Fire - De Vermis Mysteriis

UN - Sentiment

Cult of Luna - Mariner

Slomatics - Future Echo Returns

MISTHYRMING - Söngvar elds og óreiðu

Dvne - Asheran

Earth - Primitive and Deadly

Mars Red Sky - Apex III (Praise For The Burning Soul)

The Midnight Ghost Train - Cypress Ave.

Panopticon - Panopticon - Roads to the North

Mare Cognitum - Phobos Monolith

Sólstafir - Ótta

Have a Nice Life - The Unnatural World

Furia - Księżyc Milczy Luty

Tardigrada - Emotionale Ödnis

Yellow Eyes - Immersion Trench Reverie

Stoned Jesus - Seven Thunders Roar

Höstblod - Mörkrets Intåg

Ulver - The Assassination of Julius Caesar

Zola Jesus - Okovi

Funereal Presence - Achatius

Wormlust - The Feral Wisdom

Daughters - You Won't Get What You Want

L'Acephale - L'Acéphale

40 Watt Sun - The Inside Room

Vilkacis - Beyond the Mortal Gate

Bossk - Audio Noir

Carpenter Brut - Trilogy

Sumac - What One Becomes

Death Grips - Exmilitary

Red Fang - Murder the Mountains

Lo-Pan - Salvador

Whores. - Gold

Truckfighters - Universe

Greenleaf - Trails & Passes

Bölzer - Aura

Monolord - Vaenir

Dead to a Dying World - Elegy

The Body - I Shall Die Here

Mutoid Man - War Moans

Neurosis - Fires Within Fires

Opeth - Pale Communion

Planning for Burial - Below the House

Triptykon - Melana Chasmata

Graveyard - Hisingen Blues

Saor - Aura

Windhand - Grief's Infernal Flower

Egypt - Endless Flight

Emma Ruth Rundle - Marked For Death

Deafheaven - Sunbather

Kadavar - Kadavar

Uncle Acid & the Deadbeats - Blood Lust

Vanum - Ageless Fire

Dai-Ichi - Dai-Ichi

Lord Mantis - Pervertor

Ne Obliviscaris - Portal Of I

Loss - Horizonless

Tome of the Unreplenished - Innerstanding

Elder - Lore

Witch Mountain - Cauldron of the Wild

Ahab - The Giant

Alcest - Kodama

The Dillinger Escape Plan - Dissociation

Sleep - The Sciences

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