#genuinely im like ok relaxation outside pretty out

[vinnyandthephenomena]

outside enjoying nature off the internet but i’m just thinking about marble hornets the entire time

[castlebyersafterdark]

ok, on a genuine note, i've been coming here and enjoying the spice level of your blog for several months. obviously youre catering to an audience here, as are other spicy blogs, but i genuinely have to ask - as someone who doesnt seem to have such a high sex drive as you but is still very very into the whole romance and excitement of spicy byler - how do you cope on a daily basis haha

i mean this blog, obv, but you have implied that you as a person outside of spicy byler etc have also this sort of high libido etc. i mean, you've got your man but overall in your life, before him and maybe during dry spells - talking to others here who may relate, too - doesnt it get exhausting lol?

ive been big into romance as part of stories since i was a teen but the sexuality aspect of it, and leaning into that as a need and a drive, exploring that part of myself, is quite new to me. i realise im really not as high libido as many people especially in this fandom. i get that may seem sad to some but really it just feels like im kind of... more in control of what i get to do, especially compared to certain times (of the month lmao) when i am super horny and its literally so tiring when everything reminds you of sex haha

so im just wondering for people with high sex drives, do you ever get exhausted being constantly horny lmao. and how do you focus at work/when other important things need doing lol

all love! just curious. cos its a physical feeling as much as emotional so its not as simple as like... me sating my need for romance by reading or dreaming etc.

Friend, are you calling me a slut?? The AUDACITY! Wellllllll. 😉🤭 JOKING!! SAID WITH LOVE NO WORRIES!!

I feel like this is a perfect example of hmmm to overshare or not to overshare - well, I'm utilizing a cut here so what do we think. Personal insights below:

To be fair - I'm not walking around 24/7 only thinking about either this show or pairing or sex in general hahahaha. Yeah, that would be exhausting and a little crazy! Maybe some do! No shade! It's just very concentrated here - you are spot on. There's a theme and a catered interest here so that's what we all see. Just like I often say about the celebrities we follow on social media - we see about 5% of a life, if that. Same with bloggers!! Why I kind of have been embracing talking about some non-spicy Byler things here too, because I decided not strictly adhering to a very tiny niche of content is more relaxing and if people no longer want to hang out - so be it!! But, yes. This blog does serves as a concentration of that topic.

But it is very true what I've said previously, to speak very frankly here on out on this post - I do have a pretty high sex drive. I'm very open about that! Because in the wake of a world careening towards repression and shame, no thanks. There's nothing wrong with having a healthy relationship with pleasure and sex. It's a major part of my life. Just is. Everyone's different. I cope by not really denying that or feeling ashamed by any of it? Sex and pleasure and love and beauty and happiness. I want to live my life surrounded by good things and those are good things to me.

Having a high libido is - well it's convenient being in a loving long term relationship, thaaaaat's for sure. HA. Yeah 😏 I definitely had fun when I was single/dating around, but I wasn't totally indiscriminate. It wasn't constant. Again, as always, no shade - but I've heard of guys who get body counts in the hundreds per year. To me, that sounds ridiculous and exhausting. But I know that happens! Human sexuality is a spectrum in so many ways. Sex drive is yet another. As long as sex is safe and consensual - hell yeah. Have at it.

Sure there are times when you're struck buy a mood and nothing else occupies your mind. Other things can have the same affects on your day to day as well. Hunger or depression or addiction or obsession can also completely take over the brain the same as a want for pleasure. Is the hyper focus and need healthy? There's the key. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with thinking about sex a lot or being super horny often. But like anything - how is it affecting your life? What is positively fulfilling and what is being neglected? There's also nothing wrong with never or rarely needing / thinking about it, to balance the truth.

On the flip side - the romance, ahhh the romance. Why is it that I'm personally so enamored with fandom? Storytelling and an outlet for my incredibly overactive imagination, yes, but gosh the romance. Hopeless romantic, for sure. But romance for me is also tied up in sex, that's just how it is. I'm someone who liked to have fun, chase a feeling, get off. I've hooked up with strangers. I've fooled around with friends and gone on like it was nothing afterwards. I've done things and fallen desperately head over heels and let it negatively affect me. I had certain things I'd only do with those I had genuine feelings for. ~Romance~ and sex in conjunction. But, this is just how I am. Can't explain it. I'm a physical guy, to some maybe a little over indulgent, but I've grown to have a healthy view. Pleasure and joy and love. All positives for me. I might go so far as to say it would be more exhausting repressing and denying how I truly feel and what I want!

It's all so personal and we can imagine our hypothetical needs and interest bars like the stats screen in something like the sims. Maybe someone's sex drive bar stays green fairly longer or barely budges and someone like me has one that depletes a lot quicker. That's life!!

Unless this was intended to just be a ploy to get me to talk about and detail various sexcapades well..... maybe in the future 🤭🤭

[thoughts-feelings-musings]

17.1.23

Writing from my local Maccies init. Waiting for a bus. It’s like 2 degrees outside and I want to be in the warm. So I ordered fries and a chocolate milkshake. The fries were cold and the milkshake was banana. It tastes like medicine you have when you’re a kid.

Much to ponder on at the moment. I’ve pieced together some thoughts about the week after Christmas to the 2nd week of January.

It was all very out of character. But that felt ok, there’s been a lot of shifting in my identity during 2022 so I just felt it was more of that. If a bit drastic and a real 180. I’ve mellowed since then and I think maybe it was mania? Hypomania? I think it probably lasted quite a bit longer than that, but was escalating slowly so I didn’t notice until BAM- what the heck is going on!?! I’ll think about the lows another day. I need to process the high.

Looking back I’ve always- like most humans- displayed periods of being high, followed by lows. But they seem more extreme than most, but more dulled than the stories you hear. I’m not saying this is bipolar disorder. I don’t know that any kind of label will have any value.

The same behaviours and patterns were called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for 8 years. You can call it nervous system disregulation. You could probably give it a million labels and none would do much. All I know is that the pattern is there, I can identify the behaviours and feelings. That’s what’s useful.

The over the top sexual behaviour, all inhibitions lost. Feeling up all the time. Sleeping less and doing more. Madly excited. More confident than ever. Taking risks with safety- to an extent, my logical mind was still active so I sent A my love location. Just doing and feeling things I don’t now. Barely eating. Eating too much. Spending money like it’s nothing. Seeing P all the time. Wanting to be moving walking talking constantly.

Even dads music sounds less colourful? The hi hats less sparkly, the piano duller, the vocal line flatter.

I’m not attracted to W in the way I was, and I’m not sure I ever had genuine attraction? I’m unbothered with whether I see him again or not. And I know I’m using him a bit. A lot. For experience. For someone to message so I can hear myself talk. For a bit of adoration and compliment. I’d feel fine if we didn’t ever message again. Im not staying up to call him. I’m majorly indifferent. Not yet apathetic.

It’s surprising how out of my mind I was. Like I was not in myself. And to be honest I liked it. I miss that high. I miss that energy. But at the same time I need a break from it.

I miss my inhibitions being thrown out the window. I want to feel like that again. I need to give it some time.

I think there’s some positivity in it- it all reveals some truth that exists after the fact. But it doesn’t need to feel 170%, it can just be 40%. That’s ok.

The truth is: I want friends, I want to make my sexual debut, I want to go out, I want to flirt, I want to sing, I want to act, I want to be all I can be, I want to relax my control of myself. But I want all of that at 40% for now.

I don’t want to come down. That’s what I want to avoid, because I wouldn’t say I’m in a low period now, I’m pretty even keel, stable, 40%. But it feels like a drastic change to before. Normal feels low when you’ve been that high.

I’m right in thinking I don’t need the aid of substances. I should stay sober forever- for the greater good.

[oh-gh0st]

ok im back like a day later whoops. it's gonna be a bunch of random stuff and mildly angsty but also fluff. a little bit of everything :3 its also LONG

ok so the song (or rather songs) i was listening to was unironically the same one from that atstd video i posted earlier (Let You Break My Heart Again by laufey and then MARETU's hitori yurari). and i had a thought about how choro and ghost would ease into intimacy when they start dating so obviously choro would be a nervous wreck. any slight touch gets him sweating up a storm yada yada super flustered and red YOU GET THE DEAL. then ghost just tenses up because they are very touch-starved... like Imagine their relationship being that they both took each other in like a sopping wet dog outside but they are also both the sopping wet dogs themselves :p

anyways back to the touch-starved thing. ghost has had previous relationships before (4 atp) and they sort of lost what love was or felt like since they took like... a couple of years away from getting into romantic relationships cause it just never worked out!! so they just went for the route of waiting until something or someone came along like fate or whatev. they're convinced that it would probably take them a very long time, so they sort of gave up for a bit (until u know who shows up duuuuuhh). so like when choro asks to hold hands or they hug for the first time (and as I've mentioned before) it's so awkward and it's not the best first experience... ghost feels weird about it at first but they ease into it! OK now remember that song I mentioned just a few moments ago. yeah here's where it comes in. soooo when ghost starts to realize after a bit of hugging hand holding etc. with choro, they get sick thinking about the idea of another relationship possibly being made but ruined shortly after, even though they genuinely like choro more than just as a friend. it's around the same time when they get into one of their hopeless romantic/heartbroken moods?? or times... (idk how to describe it that well but it's a feeling that comes and goes every couple of months) so they try to convince themselves to not fall in love with choro. it's part of the reason why they're like a tsundere to him for a bit before the confession....... coughs. but NOOOWWW we get into fluffy content ^-^ when choro and ghost get past the awkward confession and start being a couple ghost has a hard time Not tensing up whenever they get physically intimate. choro gets worried that it's him doing something wrong but he is rest assured that it is not his fault. i think one day when they try to cuddle each other properly for like the 34893989th time without it getting uncomfortable ghost does finally get to realize that this is ok and they can enjoy it as any other couple does...

and choro's heart absolutely melts when he feels them relax against him for the first time. hearing them sigh out and just. decompress after so long. he's absolutely tweaking and freaking the fuck out but somehow he manages to Not ruin the moment (even when ghost is nuzzling into his chest/neck. what a weirdo). and slowly but surely after that point, they can be seen holding/interlocking arms a lot or something along those lines. its as if a switch just flipped overnight sometimes :p choro Absolutely uses it to his advantage sometimes (likewise with ghost!)

ghost makes it a habit that whenever they see him or talk with him theyll poke him or lightly punch his arm. they dont know why all they know is that they just like physical contact when talking or standing next to their friends

YAAAAA that's pretty much all i got for now. enjoy the content and feel free to ask about them more (cus im always happy 2 answer questions :3

im gonna go shower and write ghostoro stuff for u guys i have an idea from a song im listening to that i wanna write out

[crysdrawsthings]

OK, im tottally curious about Measse. Tell you tell me more about her????

(´･ω･`)?

With great pleasure! So, I am not sure how exactly much you know about Silmarillion and related stuff, so i will try to be non-specific in this post and then expand on exact things later, if you would like it!

In any case, be welcome under the cut for more deets and a short bio! Short disclaimer, is that it is a very heavily AU outlook on Middle-Earth that is set in the Crys Semi-Original Daydreaming Universe.

Also a tag for @lukans to learn about my first Cringe Child.

So, Measse... Is not a Tolkien character of the same name, to clear up this possible confusion, but she does adopts to fill in for this lady, kind of and takes up the name as a sort of job designation. And because every second person was mixing up her actual human name.

Art is an oldie, but a goodie.

So, in the simplest and shortest possible way Measse is a questionably lucky human, who, by jumping through a series of hoops ascends to be a quasi-deity in an attempt to save her family from an upcoming catastrophe. Also hoops were on fire.

Going into more details: not-yet-Measse was having a very normal day with her friends on a roughly modern Earth.

Following a series of odd accidents they find themselves in a different slice of reality, specifically on the shore of Aman, land of gods (well, not really gods, but like, close enough) in Middle-Earth.

Whoops.

This obviously causes a fair share of confusion from all parties involved. But in the end they are offered lodging and wait for a good moment for locals to yeet them back where they came.

Because locals have the literal End Days to be dealing with, which is not something that happens every other Thursday.

In the end, she is a given an offer. That, as mentioned, involved jumping through far more hoops that anyone would deem reasonable, but not-yet-Measse was a woman of focus, commitment and sheer fucking will (c). She shrugged and accepted to do or die trying.

During their stay in Aman not-yet-Measse and her friends find out that there is a catastrophe that would happen in their world, on Earth and have different reactions to it.

Not-yet-Measse decided to go to the local gods, Valar, and see what it would take for them to take her family to Aman to be forever immortal and happy.

This is objectively such a wild request from a person who ended up in your backyard after accidentally sneaking in after one of your colleagues went to grab a beer, yes.

The gist of an offer was to, pretty much, make it her permanent job to help fix all the stuff that got wrong with Middle-Earth because OG Dark Lord - Melkor (he is also the guy who went to grab the beer from a few paragraphs above) had a temper tantrum and decided to be evil.

Basically, Middle-Earth is going to be reborn alongside the End Days, but someone still needs to clean the stuff up and Valar could have used a hand with both this and keeping Melkor in check.

You may be wondering, how it would be expected from a human whose only distinctive features are having the resting bitch face of the century and loving her family very much.

Well, of course by getting essentially cursed, but as a sole positive thing about it being able to (maybe) utilize a fraction of the power Melkor got in the divine lottery.

List of possible and expected side-effects? Enormous. Includes transforming into eldritch horrors, losing yourself and becoming a mindless puppet, delusions, etc.

And so while her friends were having a relaxing beach filler arc, more or less, not-yet-Measse was trying to discreetly from them figure out how this whole thing works and having her "objective: survive" filler arc, because Melkor was very genuinely trying to off her.

Why would he need a leech sapping on his power AND being there to kick his butt later, after all?

Her main hobby, outside of her "job" is to take care of dragons, obviously. Who doesn't like dragons, after all. Also being a doting older sister for Lily, a second child in the family.

The end result is that not-yet-Measse survives for long enough to get comfortable in utilizing these loaned powers and is reborn into a quasi-deity in a bath of very actual fire.

She takes the name Measse as the world falls apart in the End Days and following it's rebirth is reunited with her family and goes on to have her new life.

[eberles]

Million Reasons

Tyler Seguin

Request: OK I GOT IT I GOT THE SONG IM READY FOR THE ANGST AND FLUFF AND YES *clears throat* Million Reasons by lady Gaga with Seggy 🥺

A/N: umm this is pretty sad ngl, you can blame katie tho for requesting it!! i hope you guys like angst, there is a lil fluffy tho! :) this is based of Million Reasons by Lady Gaga, feel free to listen while you read. i love feedback, so tell me what you think! :)

Warnings: angst, mentions of toxic relationship 

I’ve got a hundred million reasons to walk away, but baby, I just need one good one to stay...

“Tyler, where are you? Call me back, you’re late...Again.” That was your 5th time calling Tyler in the last hour. He promised he would be home early today so he could have dinner with your parents. It would’ve been fine if he missed it, except your parents are hardly ever in town and they wanted to see you and Tyler together since they never got the opportunity. This was important to you and he knew that. After another hour of waiting at home for him, you decided you weren’t going to be late to meet your parents at the restaurant. 

“Hi guy, I missed you!” you greeted your parents, walking into the restaurant and seeing they already had a table. They stood up so you could give hugs and you were hoping they wouldn’t bring up that Tyler wasn’t with you. But you weren’t that lucky.

“Where is Tyler? Wasn’t he supposed to be with you?” you asked, looking behind you when she pulled away from your hug, sitting down when she didn’t see him. 

“Yes, i’m sorry, he wanted to be here, but he got caught up with work stuff.” you lied, feeling guilty. This wasn’t the first time he’s missed dinner with your parents and you hated lying to them about it, but you couldn’t bear the thought of them having any negative thoughts on Tyler. You parents nodded, and you weren’t sure they entirely believed you this time. 

Dinner went well and you made more plans with your parents to show them some famous Dallas sights tomorrow. By the time you got home you were exhausted, wanting to just curl up in bed and sleep. However, when you walked into your house, you were met with Tyler sitting in the living room watching tv. 

“Hey babe.” Tyler looked away from the tv quickly, to greet you as you walked in the door, missing the shocked expression you had on your face.

“Did you not get my 5 missed calls earlier or did you just not care?” you asked, your tone of voice giving away how frustrated you were with your boyfriend. 

“Ugh. Can we not do this right now? I’m tired and I just wanted one day where I didn't have to answer to you.” Tyler shook his head as he spoke and he could tell he was snippy. Although, you weren't sure what he had to be upset about. 

“Are you kidding me? We had plans with my parents tonight! You completely blew me off, do you know how embarrassing that is?” He hasn’t removed his gaze from the tv in front of him so you marched over and stood in between the tv and him, waving your arms around waiting for an answer.

“Oh shit. I’m sorry, I forgot.” Tyler shrugged, not even pretending to care. If you weren’t so tired from the day you had, you could’ve argued with you more, but at this point it didn’t seem worth it. Scoffing, you walked away, going up to your bedroom, making sure to lock the door behind you, not wanting to spend the night in the same bed with him. 

When you woke up the next morning, you were surprised to open your bedroom door to see Tyler sleeping on the floor outside of it. Your heart leaped at the thought he might’ve cared enough to see if you were okay last night. 

“Tyler, babe, wake up.” you said gently, leaning down next to him to rub his shoulder, hoping to wake him up without scaring him. 

“Y/N, i’m sorry about last night! I’m an ass, I know that. I shouldn’t have forgotten about dinner and I shouldn’t have jumped down your throat when you said you tried to call me.” you helped Tyler up from the ground and he wrapped his arms around you, giving you a tight hug. You let him hug you, resting your face in his neck, breathing in his scent, missing him being close to you. “I’m gonna make it up to you today, we can do whatever you want, okay?”

“I’m supposed to show my parents around Dallas today, but i’m sure they would love it if you joined in.” you said excitedly, hoping to show your parents that Tyler truly does care. 

“I would love that, baby.” Tyler’s words were genuine and you kissed him before pulling him down to the kitchen to make you breakfast. 

I’ve got a hundred million reasons to walk away…

“Tyler? Are you even listening?” you were growing impatient after putting together a nice dinner for the two of you and your boyfriend of two years couldn't even bother to pick his head up from his phone. You were supposed to be celebrating your anniversary tonight and originally Tyler told you he would take you to the new Italian place that opened up downtown. Unfortunately, this morning Tyler told you something came up and he would have to cancel your reservations, so you offered to cook at home instead for a later dinner. 

“Yea I heard you, babe.” Tyler finally spoke up, not looking up from his phone that had been dinging constantly since he got hime half an hour ago. You stood up grabbing your half eaten plate along with his and started cleaning up the dinner. Tyler picked up his head, feeling your presence moving around, “I wasn’t done.”

“Well, I am.” you mumbled, putting his plate back in front of him, “Happy anniversary.” you mumbled, rolling your eyes, walking out of the dining room and into your shared bedroom for the night. 

But baby, I just need one good one to stay…

It’s been three weeks since Tyler has left for a few string of games out of state and he was finally coming home. You were missing him a lot this trip and he called you everyday to check in. It felt like things were going back to how they used to be and you couldn’t be more happy. Your boss told you to leave work early today since there wasn’t much left to do, so that’s exactly what you did. You got home, opening the door, frowning when you weren’t greeted by the dogs, like you usually were. Walking further into the house, you noticed some candles lit around your apartment accompanied by flower petals, you were confused until you saw him come into view.

“Surprise, baby.” Tyler smirked, watching you look around the room, clearly confused by him being home a day early. 

“What are you doing here?” you cried out, walking closer to Tyler letting him take you into his arms, letting you finally relax your shoulders, immediately feeling comfort in his embrace. 

“I missed you too much to wait until tomorrow.” He kissed your forehead, and you pulled away to kiss him properly. You looked around the room again, feeling your eyes welling up with tears in awe at how thoughtful he really could be. He cares.

I bow down to pray, I try to make the worst seem better...

It started out good, amazing even. The first year of your relationship was amazing, you couldn’t recall one fight or bad memory you had with Tyler within the first year of your relationship. Unfortunately, it went downhill after that. Starting with small stuff like missing out on important dinners with your family and progressing to missed birthdays and anniversaries. Let’s not forget the attachment he has to his phone, of course everyone is a little attached, but Tyler was different. You couldn’t help but notice how it was always going off or how he moved into different rooms to answer phone calls. You were exhausted and always giving him the benefit of the doubt. Always defending him. Always making the same excuses for him. Always lying for him. 

You’ve battled with your friends and family about how Tyler was worth staying for. They all hoped one day you would realize what was right in front of you and do something about it. But you knew deep down. You convinced yourself the one reason was always enough compared to the millions reasons, you never let yourself admit how wrong it was. It was toxic, you knew it, hell even he knew it. 

He told you how much he cared and loved you, but even if he did mean those words or anything he told you. It was always going to be hard to fathom which parts you could even believe. Tyler gave you about a million reasons to leave him. But he always gave you one reason to stay.  

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tagging some hockey peeps: @fav-imagines @stargazingstarkey @jmaybanks @brock-mcginny @bookoftenderthoughts @stfukie​

[zmayadw]

And the next one as promised :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 6

The day i got released form hospital finaly came. I was happy about it, taking a breath of fresh air will be a welcoming change after over three weeks in here. Some bruises wer still visable, and my head hurted from time to time, but other then that the doctor gave me a green light. And having too much free time makes your toughts wonder in wrong direction too much. Thinking about Jake was my daily routine, and i hoped once i get out other things will get me occupied. Jessy wanted me to stay with her, but i managed to persuade her that i'd be better of at the motel. She reluclantly agreed, but I argued that i would still be resting most of the time, and promised her we will see eachother every day, wich made her respect my decision a bit more. She called me that moring, telling Dan will come and drive me to the motel, because she was bussy planing a surprise for me. „Oh, Jessy, pleas dont go overboard, it is my first day out, i wont be up for much.“ I protested, but she quickly reasured me its nothing big. Knowing Jessy, i was sceptical about it, but she sounded so happy that i just agreed to whatever she had in plan. I was about done packing, when Doris came bringing me my dischrage papers. She gave them to me, embracing me in a tight hug „You be good now, hun. And remember what i told you before.“ She said, giving me one more of her winks. „Thank you, Doris.“ I replied, handig her a chocholate bombonier i asked Jessy to get me. „For everything.“ I hugged her once more. „No need to thank me, hun.“  „Ahh, Doris, im jelaous, i didnt get a hug from you when i was leaving the hospital.“ It was Dan, being dramatic again. I laughed, as Doris went for the door „Schmacks dont deserve hugs!“ she grinned at him, and left. „She likes me...she just wont admit it.“ Dan said, grining. „So,you ready to leave this shithole?“ „Definatly!“ i said, taking my discharge papers and putting them in my pack. Dan took it from me, and we left the room, taking the elevator down. Stepping outside was so refreshing, i stopped at the exit for a brief moment, wich made Dan turn „You allrigh there?“ „Im good, just appriciate being outside again.“ I smiled. We continued to the car. Dan opened the door for me, putted my stuff on the back seat, and we drove towards motel. I rolled the window down letting the cool morning air blow to my face and through my hair. The drive wouldnt last that long, and Dan informed me that Jessy booked the room for me already and took the rest of my stuff there, and my car also waiting for me at the motels parking. „Dan, whats Jessy planing for me today?“ i asked. „Oh, no,no, im keeping my mouth shut!“ he replied, but i groaned at him pleading „Please, Dan, at least give me a hint. I just got out of hospital, and to be honest, im not up for big fanfaras, but i dont want to dissapoint Jessy either. And lets be honest, its Jessy wer talking about here, nothing is small or meaningless with her.“ He laughed at that „Your right about that! Alright, ill tell you, but if she realize you knew something..“ „Dont worry, i can act being genuinely surprised with no problem.“ I asured him. „Well, its nothing much, rellay. We're taking you for dinner.“ he said. Ok, thats not so bad, i tought, i do have to eat. „And she invited the gang to Aurora this evening, to celebrate your release from hospital.“ Ugh, i hoped that wouldnt happen so soon, that i would at least have a day or so for me before seeing everyone. „Ah, crap, i guess it was bound to happen sooner or later.“ I said, adding „Later would be better, tho.“ „Dont worry, Maya, ill be there to rescue you, AGAIN.“ He grinned at me, and i grinned back „Good, because i just might need some rescuing, again.“

Dan left me at the motel, and i entered the small checkin office. The woman behind the counter was eldery, and she smiled at me „Good morning, miss, what can i do for you?“. „Morning'“ i replied, smiling back „I had a room booked for me by a friend, i guess you know her, Jessica Hawkins?“. She smiled more now „Ah, ofcourse, miss Cole i presume?“ i nooded in agreement. „Yes, Jessica brought all your belongings already. I would just ask for you to fill this, please.“ She handed me that check in paper you get at every motel. I filled it, and she gave me the key.“You're at room 11, its on your right once you leave the office. And i'm Ms. Walter, fell free to ask if you need anything.“ „Thanks, i will.“ I replied, taking the key.

The room looked cozy enough. It had a big bed, with a little nightstand next to it with a lamp on it. There was a midium size table in front of a big window, wich i immidiatly felt greatefull for, since some natural light is what i prefere for my drawing work, and a closet next to it. Across from the bed was a  TV, and a little refrigeratore under it. The bathroom was small, wich is more then enough. I left my stuff on the bed, when i noticed a note on the nightstand. 'The car key is in the nightstand drawer. Get some rest, and see you later! Xoxo' It was from Jessy, and that made me smile. I took the key and went to the car to get the rest of my stuff. The day was nice and sunny, and i tought i souldnt spend the whole day in the motel. I went back to the room, unpacked, grabed some clean clothes and went for a shower. When i got dressed i sat at te table and turned my laptop on. I checked my mails, and some job offers. Its good when you're a freelancer, you can work from anywhere, and I actually felt some work might keep me occupied and not let my mind wonder to Jake.  The tought of him leaving my hospital room  two weeks ago still pained me, but i cant sit here and despair all the time, so i decided to grab my drawing stuff and head exploring. I hoped Jessy wouldt mind me going to town alone, she did promise me a grand tour of it once im out of the hospital. I took my phone and texted her „Hey hey, setteled at the motel. Going for a walk arround, but dont worry, im still looking forward for my tour arround Duskwood with you! xoxo“. She replied soon „Oh, nice, have fun! Just stay out of woods! xD See you for dinner J „. Great, now i could leave without feeling any guilt. I grabbed my backpack and left the motel.

I decidet to walk towards the marketplace, i had plenty of time since it wasnt even noon yet, and Jessy and Dan wont pick me up before 19. I passed a small bakery on my way there, and bought me some food and a bottle of water. The streets leading towards marketplace wer small and narrow, mostly with older buildings and pretty quiet. After some 30-40 minutes of slow walk,  i emerged to the marketplace, and it was comepletly different. The crowd thickened, and the place hummed with life. In the center was a nice funtain, with benches in circle arround it. Few wer occupied with people: one had an eldery couple, just sitting there on the sun and talking, on the other wer two mothers, drinking coffee while kids wer running arround, giggling and enjoying a nice day. I sat on one of the free benches, and took my drawing pad out. The warmth of the sun felt nice, and i began drawing. I can get quite zoomed out of my surroundings when drawing, so when i finaly noticed someone was standing in front of me, i jumped, and my penciles flew all over the floor. I started to stan up from the bench, at the same time that someone started to bend down to help pick them up,our heads coliding. That sent me sitting back on the banch, as both of us groaned from the impact. „Auch.“ I flinched, looking at the person stnding there. It was Jake. „Sorry, i didnt mean to sneak up on you.“ he said, still rubbing his forehead. „No, no, its fine, i was really focused, i didnt see you there.“ I barely managed to say, my voice shakey, clumsely picking my penciles from the floor.He was the last person i expected to run into. I really wasnt ready for this, the knot in my stomach starting to form, as i finaly collected all the penciles and sat back on the bench. I knew we wer gonna run at each other eventualy, but not so soon. He sat next to me, and i could notice by his body language he was a bit nervouse, too. „You look better.“ he said after a moment of silence, giving me a small smile, wich made my heart skip from joy. „Thanks, i feel much better,too.“ I replied, smiling back. He was looking at me so tenderly, and the heat from the sun made me so hot, i had a feeling my cheeks wer red as a lobster. He run his hand through his hair, and all i could think is how much i wanna do that. His look became more serious now, his eyes becoming darker, but that tenderness was still present. „Maya..“ he started „That day at the hospital.. I didnt..I'm sorry..“ but i interupted him. „No need to appologise, Jake, really.“ And he really didnt have to. I continued, before he could say anything else. „Look, its like this: you had every right to act like you did, and even tho it wasnt easy for me to hear you say those stuff, you wer right, in a way.“ He looked me a bit confused. „You wer probably right, I didnt think quite hard about every possible thing that could go wrong, and God knows i had more luck then im willing to admit. But thats just who i am: i act, i go with the flow, i make mistakes. And i appologise when I realize I was wrong, wich I would do to you if you just stayed for a while more. And i mean appologise for not telling you, or anyone about my plan, not for what i did at the end, hence me saying that you wer right in a way.“ I looked at him, he was still calm, not a trace of that anger i saw at the hospital anywhere on his face. That made me relax a bit. „Maya, just let me...“ he started again, but i interputed him once more „Please, Jake, just let me finish, then you can say whatever you wnat.“ He nodded in agreement. „ I know saying 'sorry' at that time seemed so pointless, but you have to know that i really am sorry, Jake, a thousand times sorry. Yet, i still stand by what i said, i would do it all over again, no matter the qonsequences.“ I paused for a moment, before i continued „I really hope you can forgive me. I got so used at having you in my life, and for it to end here and now...“ He looked at me, but i couldnt bring myself to look back at him. I just stared at my hands, not realizing this whole time i was clasping them so tightly. „I hope you wont shut me out of your life comepletly.“ We sat there in silence for what seemed like eternity. I got my courage and looked at him. He was staring in the distance now. „I felt helpless.“ he said, looking back at me now. „It got me...scared.“ he confessed, and i ached to just hug him. I could see this was being hard for him, saying it. „I've had that happen once before in my life, and it didnt end well.“ His eyes became so sad. „I'm not sure im ready to go through it again.“ That knot at my stomach tightened as he said it, but i took a deep breath „I understand. I'v let you down, i know. But i hope with time, you will be able to trust me again..let me be your friend, at least.“ Friend...that word felt so wrong to me. I didnt want to be just his 'friend', i wanted to be more, so much more. But, i guess at the moment i would be happy with anything. He stared at me for a moment, and before he said it, a smile formed at the corner of his lips „One step at the time.“ „Thats all im asking.“ I said, smiling shyly. He sat there in silence for a brief moment before slowely getting up. „You're good, by the way.“ He said, and i looked at him puzzeled, wich made him smile. He had such a sincere and wonderfull smile. „Your drawing, its good.“ He continued, pointing at my drawing pad. „Oh, that, thanks!“ i replied. „I better be good, i doubt i'll get paid otherwise .“ i grinned. He shook his head at me smiling, walking slowely away from the bench „See you arround, Maya.“ „See you, Jake.“ Watching him walk away this time didnt leave me in pain and agony. I felt hope again. Maybe Doris and Jessy weren't talking nonsence, afterall, I tought, not realising i was grinning like crazy.

After Jake left, i just sat there, letting my heart stop beating insanely. I was really happy for how our unexpected meeting went, i tought there really was some hope for us again. Oh man, Jessy will go crazy when i tell her all about it, she will so rub me her ' i told you so's' in the face! That got me laughing out loud, a few passerbys looking at me like i was crazy. And they wer right, i was crazy! Crazy for Jake. Everything about him drow me crazy: his gorgeous eyes, that ruffeled hair, and that beautifull smile. He shoud definatly smile more, i tought, his whole face smiles when he does it. The churchbell chimmed five , and i cursed under my breath. I better head back to the motel, i need another shower for sure. I quickly grabbed my stuff from the bench, deciding to grab coffee before headiding back. My toughts wer still running wild about Jake as i was walking back towards motel, i colided with a man. I almost dropped my coffe, quickly appologizing. „Be carefull there, miss, you never know who you might bump into.“  He said, a bit grim, like he was makeing a threath. I looked at him a bit astonished „Uhm, i will mister, thanks for your advice. And, sorry again!“ I slowly turned and continued my way. Strange guy i tought, but didnt pay any more toughts about it continuing back to the motel.

[normal-thoughts-official]

welp ok i had been meaning to post this anyway so im gonna do it while i wait for anon to finish. im just having thoughts about this nonstop which is why i had tried looking for rape recovery fics haha and ugh id really love if someone came to talk to me about it because i really want to discuss it and not just talk about it alone, so

(tw for abuse, sexual abuse, and transphobia)

(im copying and pasting what i told a friend btw doiajsioaj)

been thinking like. nonstop about magnus and alec trying to have sex and having a lot of false starts because it's so scary for magnus

like i know that in the show they just went all "magnus is insecure for 0.2 seconds and then it's solved" but i imagine that honestly it took more time even if alec is obviously not his first after camille, he is the first person he trusted u know 

like before he was relatively comfortable with it because there were no emotional attachments and he was relatively in control and he didn't really have to let go and trust, he didn't allow himself to fully relax and he focused more on pleasuring the other person because he's like that, but alec is different because he's his first partner and welp for so long he was a hot one night stand and he feels like sex in a relationship is something that he has to use to prove his worth because that's what it was like with camille, it was basically the one time she showed physical affection and he was always kind of on edge because if he didn't give it to her like she wanted she would "punish" him one way or the other (be upset, scream, draw back, go away, not talk to him for a while, cry. and of course it wasn't treated as punishment just as like she's upset and it was. scary). and if he did it right he might get some cuddling or some other form of affection he craves for a while and he's starved

and he's so scared of disappointing alec or that once alec got what he wanted from him he'd leave (not that his one night stands were doing that to him, he didn't want anything else himself, he made sure to put his distance, but there's that part of his mind that says that that's what he's good for, especially since with camille it pretty much was the only way to get some affection i guess)

and so they have many false starts because he wants to but he's scared to and there's always a trigger somewhere that he didn't see coming because again it's the first time he's allowing himself to be genuinely vulnerable after her

and idk i keep imagining situations like. alec starts to undress him and they're all laughter and smiles but alec gets to his pants and he thinks of camille's reaction to seeing him naked for the first time, thinks of (tw transphobia) her disappointed face and the way he was like "what" because she knew that he was trans obviously but she still goes "nothing, sweetheart, i was taken aback for a second, is all. you know i've only been with real men before". and he thinks of how she refused to touch him for so long and when she started to she always demanded something in return, acted like it was a sacrifice she did for him, threw it in his face that she was willing to do it for him even if she didn't want to so why couldn't he go through with what she wanted every once in a while? why did he have to be so selfish? and so she convinced him to do stuff he wasn't comfortable with both in and outside of bed and guilted him and made him feel like a monster and he panics, he can't do it, because he doesn't know what he'd do if he went through that again, he knows alec's gay, and while alec already knows, he doesn't want to see the disappointment on his face when alec's dreamed of that for so long and except for a glamor there's nothing magnus can really do

imagining a very specific situation too where they are making out and alec starts nosing at his neck and peppering kisses and again they're all smiley and laughter and alec says "i love you" and magnus' immediate reaction is to think "no, you can't" and when it hits him that that was his very first thought he starts to panic because he's hit with how fucked up he is that he just can't believe alec and he keeps thinking about how camille would never say that in bed unless it was to manipulate him ("i love you, don't you trust me? you're going to like it, i promise") or to reward him for agreeing to do something he didn't want to (which counts as manipulation but you know. two sides of the same coin)

and again he has to stop and he feels like shit because how in the world is he SO fucked up that he can't hear his own boyfriend tell him that he loves him without freaking out like a baby

and he can't ever hide it from alec because he always goes from relaxed and laughing to tensed up and alec is always paying attention to his body's reaction and he is always so understanding ("i'm sorry, magnus, can you tell me what it was so i don't do it again? do you want to talk?") and magnus wants to scream because why can't he do it and why is alec being so patient with him when he's already waited for so long and magnus has had no problem having plenty of sex before he got with alec

and he's always focusing on alec, telling him that he didn't do anything wrong, that he's sorry, that magnus swears it's not about him, that he doesn't understand why he could do it before and that he swears it's not that he doesn't like alec enough and that he's trying, but he can't. and he feels so guilty about it 

and alec always holds his face and says something heartbreakingly honest about how he doesn't mind, all he cares about is how magnus feels, and magnus almost cant take how tender he is rd asidjaasadojdsadad

PLEASE COME TALK TO ME ABOUT THIS OK IM GOING THROUGH IT IN THIS CHILI'S TONIGHT

[fo-love]

hey kai!! heres your permission to talk about L and/or light, tell me what you love about them!! 🥰 - fawnships (also i used to be big time into death note!! its so good)

THANK YOU ANSJDKJDJEJE AND IKR I LOVE IT SM

My mind turns to mush and my words are stolen when I think about them but I'll try bc I really live them and wanna gush!!! Also I've never really gushed so I hope I don't do it wrong!! But here we go!!!

L

Haha I used the closest thing to his picture and I feel nice :) anyway!!

Okay so he's so cute!!!

Also I saw his eyes and immediately came up with two headcanons!!

The first one based on his pupils being so dilated all the time, he gets light sensitive migraines/headaches and that's why he's in the dark all the time and so pale. He can't spend too much time in bright light or he'll get a migraine :(

The second based on the bags under his eyes, he doesn't get much sleep. Whether it be from insomnia, choice, worry, paranoia, or some other reason, he doesn't sleep a lot. And I kinda came up for a small imagine 🥺

So I don't sleep much either but I'll get into bed and lure him to bed with cuddles so just like,,, naps together 🥺🥺

!! What if we both work as detectives!!! Because I'm actually really interested in that field of work!! So what if we're both detectives and since we're discussing the crime we're doing at the moment we don't sleep much and we're both night owls so!!! Naps together during the day!!

Also!!! Since his pupils are super dilated night dates :0!!!! Yeah!! And like,, dates in dark places with little fairy lights omg

Since he doesn't go outside much and when he does he tries avoiding looking at the sky and I love taking pictures!! 🥺🥺 soo!!!! Showing him the pictures I take of the pretty cloud formations, sunsets/rises, birds flying in the sky, and more 🥰

Also the way he holds stuff and sits is so cute to me

But :( because!! The way he sits :(!!! He could get scoliosis!! :'( so I'll try helping with the pain!!

Like with muscle pain I'll apply tiger balm to his back (I recommend Tiger balm if you have muscle pain! It helps me a bunch!!)

And if I can't help on his sitting position I'll make sure his sleeping position is safe!

And his voiceeee!!!!!!

His voice 🥺🥺🥰

Could talk me to sleep anytime it's so relaxing!!

Y'all ever though about cuddles with lanky people?? Heaven

Light

I've already said this but! I love the corrupted hero type they're doing with him!!

I'm an absolute sucker for villains who genuinely believe what they're doing is for the best, it's even better when they're smart and actually make a lot of sense! It makes you question yourself and your own morals and it's GREAT

Like there are literally people having discussions on of Light is the bad guy or not

And as cute as dumbasses are

Smart people are hot don't @ me

Like the smart people thing goes for L too

AND THEY BOTH GET SMARTER AS IT GOES ON AND SKKDKDKDK Y'ALL I'M ALREADY WHIPPED STOP 😭❤

Also, I just LOVE the confusion he causes in most watchers! I've seen people breaking down his character but ultimately not finding out if he's bad or not, I've seen rant posts of people who are so confused by him, I've seen multiple people trying to figure out why we can't hate him, it's so interesting to see!

:0

I just thought of a plot idea for a Light x Kai x L fic that would have angst but I'd rather not think about it now I'll tell y'all about it later but I'm soft rn so angst is a no go ✋😌

BRO AND Y'ALL KNOW HOW I SAID RYUK COULD BE A PLATONIC F/O

WHAT IF I MET HIM-

KSMDKFKKR

Ok so I have hallucinations anyway and I see some scary shit

So what if!! Me and Light go to the same school and he dropped it (before he kept it in his trap drawer) and I picked it up and handed it back and confused them both bc I just kinda glanced at Ryuk but didn't react skjsjxkx

And Ryuk, being the most confused, would be trying to me sense of it. And me and Light become friends if we weren't already

And I'm getting increasingly more confused because usually my hallucinations follow me, not people I know

And once we grow close enough I talk to light and Ryuk's back there like "?!?!???" before explaining and I'm like "?? It's a fucking w h a t??"

And Ryuk's like "yeah, pretty dope ik" and Light looks so dejected

When I meet up with Light around school I'll talk to them both, im already seen as the weird kid, why should I care if they believe it more?

And after a while me and Light start dating and I'm best friends with Ryuk!

Though we have to force Ryuk to preoccupy himself and stay quiet while we're out on a date but he won't leave us aloneee :(

[mayansmcx]

Hell Hath No Fury

Hi all! I’ve literally never done creative writing but I’ve been so fixated on finding Mayans fan fic. As an obsessive fan and reader, I’ve read pretty much all of them. So that led me to trying to write my own to try and fill some of the need for more! Deciding whether or not to make this an Angel/Nestor love triangle thing or not. I like messy relationships. Let me know that you think!

————————————————

Working in the Mayors office wasn’t my lifelong aspiration but after working for a Congressman who embodied all that was bad in politics, I couldn’t get away fast enough. That’s what led me here, to Santo Padre. I always knew I wanted to work in politics, but leaving so abruptly from the office in DC, and under the circumstances, it was difficult to find a job in any level of the field where my old boss wouldn’t immediately try and sabotage. Luckily, Santo Padre doesn’t even qualify as a dot on a map and so my former boss had no damn idea I was applying here or the connection I had to get into this office.

Mayor Antonia Pena needed a new Chief of Staff after hers went ghost and never showed up for work again - they still don’t know why he bailed or why he never came to get the stuff from his desk, but apparently his last few months there he started to spiral: drinking all the time, jumpy, bursts of anger... the works. No one was entirely surprised he left, by what I’ve been told.

Its a pretty mundane gig. The town is, for the most part, quiet. The outlaw biker gang, the Mayans, have some weird unspoken arrangement with the cops where they help keep the town as safe as they can on their respective sides of the law.

We never see much of the outlaws, which is why it is weird as shit that the head of the motorcycle gang just walked into our office and requested an urgent meeting with the mayor. Usually I try and field these requests and take the meeting for her, but in this case she wants to meet directly.

“Come on back, the mayor is ready for you Mr.....” I trail off, as I realize I never actually caught his name.

“Just call me Bishop. And this is Taza.” He says, gesturing to the man next to him.

“Nice to meet you Bishop and Taza. My name is Lennon. I’ll be staffing the meeting.” I reply politely.

“Lennon, we were kind of hoping for a private meeting with the Mayor, no offense.” Bishop says, running his hand through his hair, seeming a little tense.

“As the Mayors Chief, it’s my job to staff her. If it makes you feel better, whatever you say in there, I’m going to find out anyway. I’m the cogs that make everything run for this office. I take on the grunt work so she can focus on the big picture. It’s usually easier for me to hear things directly than getting the recap later.” I explain, hoping they understand what it is that I do.

“Ah, so you’re the one who makes shit happen” Taza lets off a quick chuckle.

“More or less.” I give a light laugh, “she makes the decisions, I coordinate it to make it reality. Makes her life easier, and gives me a job.”

I open the door the Mayor’s office and invite them in. Mayor Pena is reviewing paperwork for the newest city council proposal for repairing the sidewalks by the school.

“Hey boss, our drop in is here” I alert her.

She sees our visitors and promptly puts the papers back into their folder before standing up to greet them.

“Bishop it’s so nice to see you again. Or at least I believe it is for now, it depends on what you’re about to discuss” Antonia states, trying to sound relaxed, but the rigidness in her body language is hard to ignore.

Bishop smirks, “Well, you know us, always trying to stay out of your hair. That’s why we feel bad about coming to you. We need a favor.”

Antonia relaxes a little, which I find odd (all things considered). “Well, tell me what I can do for you” she replied confidently.

“One of our guys is locked up in Indio right now. Nothing bad, just a little drunk and disorderly charge after a bar fight. Given the fact that he’s wearing his kutte, they seem to be going a little harder on him.” Bishop explains.

“Ah yes, those damn biker stereotypes foil a nice evening once again!” Antonia says as she plet off a genuine laugh which Taza and Bishop joined in on as well. “We’ll see what we can do. Lennon, I’m going to need you to work this today.” Antonia said as her eyes met mine.

“You got it, boss.” I nodded quickly. “Now gentleman, why don’t we go grab some coffee and you can tell me what it is that we’re working with.” They both stood up and followed me out of the building and across the street to Tino’s Café.

We place get our orders and grab a seat in the back corner.

“Alright Mr. Leader of a motorcycle gang, what’s the situation” I say playfully. Humor and playful banter is my go-to for alleviating any tension. People tend to ease up with a fun-loving approach.

“It’s not a gang, it’s a club. And my official title is president”, Bishop says as firmly as he points to the patch on his chest before he lets off a quick laugh. “Anyways, like I told the Mayor, one of our guys is in lock up in Indio. He drank a little too much and some hedge fund lookin’ kid got mouthy. Shit escalated, a fight broke out. Hedge fund kid cried about the big bad biker and got off, said he wanted to press charges, and then our guy was hauled away.” He states matter-of-factly.

“Ok, that’s not too bad.” I say as I mull over the facts. “What’s his name?” I ask.

“Reyes. Angel Reyes.” Taza, who I now see has a Vice-President patch, answers. “Two of our guys, Coco and EZ were with him. They made it back this morning.”

“Alright, give me a second and I’ll make a call to up there and see what magic I can work” I tell them as I get up and walk outside, not waiting for them to okay my decision.

I google the number to their police department and dial. It rings three times before someone answers.

“Indio Police Department, this is Officer McMann” a monotone voice comes on the line.

“Hi, my name is Lennon Parker and I’m the Chief of Staff for Mayor Antonia Pena here in Santo Padre. I hear you have one of our constituents. Who do I need to speak to about the charges and possible release.” I say in my ‘official and authoritative’ voice.

“No one. He’s staying here. He’s not getting bail given the fact that he’s a member of a known criminal group.” He finishes his statement and immediately hangs up the phone.

I walk back into the coffee shop not bothering to hide my annoyance.

“That idiot hung up on me. Looks like I’m talking a trip to Indio. Can’t hang up on me to my face.” I snap as I grab my purse.

Both men raise their eyebrows and look at each other.

“I like your attitude, kid” Taza tells me. “We’ll send some of our guys with you.”

“It’s fine, I should be okay getting there and back.” I express, a little confused as to why they’d want someone to accompany me.

“Nah, he’s one of ours. And after last night, if Coco and EZ aren’t there to talk shit when he gets out, they’re gonna feel real sad” Taza laughs.

“Can’t deny you guys these simple joys in life. Have them meet me at the office in 20 minutes and we’ll go from there.” I concede.

I stroll back to the Mayor’s office and let Antonia know what’s going on.

“Be smart, Len.” She tells me, “I know how your mouth can get you in trouble.” She tries to laugh it off, but deep down we both know she’s serious.

I’ve only been working for her for six months, but we met each other about a decade ago when I was in a fellowship program and she was working for the City Planner. She was a good bit older than me, but somehow our friendship still clicked. She took on the roll as friend, and surrogate big sister. It’s why I didn’t want the Chief job the first time around. Mixing professional with personal can get messy.

“Oh c’mon Toni, there’s no fun in this if I can’t ruffle some feathers.” I winked at her as I walk out of her office at sound of motorcycles fast approaching.

I walk out to the parking lot and see two men hop off their bikes. One is shorter and lean with long hair and eyes that scream “don’t fuck with me”. His black and white plaid jacket was under his kutte. The other is tall, well built with short hair and a cut off shirt that drew attention to his muscular arms. His kutte wasn’t like the rest, it was less adorned and had a simple “PROSPECT” patch.

Without any pause, I introduce myself. “Hi I’m Lennon, you must be EZ and Coco. Now who is who?”

“Im EZ” the tall one raises his hand. I reach out to shake his hand, which he meets.

“So that makes you Coco.” I say as I move my hand to shake his. He looks at my hand for a second before giving it a quick shake as he nods.

“I assume you all don’t want to ride in my car, so if you want, follow me or meet me there. Whatever you want.” I tell them as I turn around and walk to my car.

“Alright, catch you there” one of them says, I don’t look back to see which one.

I turn the music up in my Audi A4 and start my drive. Getting lost in my thoughts as I strategize every possible path to getting this stranger out of jail.

Almost two hours later, I arrive at the jail. The two bikers are already sitting in the parking lot smoking their cigarettes.

“Took you long enough.” Coco says, not even bothering to make eye contact.

“Well you know, if I try and split lanes like you guys get to, it becomes a car accident.” I retort with no hesitation or care about his coldness. “Let’s go do this thing. Let me do the talking, they’re already holding the whole ‘biker’ thing against him.”

EZ opens his mouth to say something, before realizing there is no logical point he can make to find flaw in what I have just said.

I turn around, and walk up the steps. Throwing my shoulders back, I open the door and walk to the front desk. Quickly checking the name tag of the officer at the desk, I note it’s the same ass I spoke to on the phone. My annoyance from earlier reemerges.

“Hi Officer McMann. My name is Lennon, we spoke earlier. I need you to go get your superior.” I smile sweetly, but my tone reads more menacingly.

“No, he’s busy. If it’s about that biker, I already told you, he’s staying put.” He tells me, completely unphased.

“Oh no, officer. You seem to be mistaken. I did not request to speak to your superior. It was an order.” I say, losing all pretense of fake politeness.

I immediately see someone come out of the office in the back.

“Officer McMann, what seems to be the problem?” The older officer asks.

“This woman would like to speak with you, Chief, regarding the release of biker from their po-dunk down. She works for the Mayor” McMann tells his boss.

“Well it seems like you’ve wasted your time coming down here if you’re trying to get him out” the Chief tells me, the air of superiority he has immediately gets under my skin.

“Well, Chief… Ryan, is it? Chief Ryan, you seem to think this is an exercise in futility because our city is, what did this inept officer say? Po-dunk? I didn’t come down here to try and get Mr. Reyes released, I came here to do it.” My sickly sweet smile now dissipates. “You see, you might think I’m a nobody from a nothing-to-do town, but before I worked for our Mayor, I worked in DC, for a Congressman. You know what’s nice about being a Chief of Staff for a Congressman? All of the connections I made.” The Chiefs face falters and fear starts to creep into his eyes as he realizes he doesn’t have the upper hand in this discussion anymore. “In fact, I have your Senator and Assemblymember here in my contacts. I’m sure you know what they do, right? They help secure your funding. Senator Monroe and Assemblywoman Ruiz are quite fond of me after a bill our offices all worked together, I’m sure they’d love to hear about your prejudicial treatment of one of the Mayor’s constituents. So now, before I have to escalate this - which based on the look of your face is something you don’t want – go release Mr. Reyes and see to it that no charges are filed.” I finish, the confidence and ferocity of my voice is lost on no one.

“But… you see, we’ve already started the paperwork for the case…” the Chief states, clearly rattled.

The falsely sweet smile returns to my face, “I’m sorry, did I stutter?” The smile drops again, “I said release him. Any paperwork you’ve filed sounds like a personal problem. One that you can fix once you release Mr. Reyes.”

Chief Ryan is quiet for a few seconds. “McMann, go get Mr. Reyes and apologize for our mistake” he tells the young officer

“Good call” I tell him as he sulks back to his office.

“Damn girl” Cocos voice calls from behind me, the previous coldness in his tone was gone “that was some good shit. Old boy looked like he saw fuckin’ Jesus for a second.”

“I don’t like being talked down to. Especially not by some old white dude with an ego.” I shrugged.

“You didn’t knock him down a peg, you kicked his ass down the stairs” Coco is replied.

“Look here he comes Angel” EZ says as we look up and see an extremely tall, well built man with a beard getting uncuffed at the end of the hall.

He walks out rubbing his wrists which bear indentations from the handcuffs and are lightly red.

Before they can start to talk shit to him, I jump in.

“Hi Angel. I’m Lennon. The Mayor sent me here as a favor to your president. I wanted to introduce myself before these two start giving you shit” I say as I shake his hand.

“Nice to meet you. And thanks” he says casually.

I walk out of precinct, the three men close behind me.

“Nice job there, genius. You can’t go around punching rich blonde pretty boys and not catch shit.” I hear Coco tell him.

I tune out the rest of their friendly bashing as we get to where we parked.

“So, we have two bikes and a car. Is Angel going to be riding bitch or will his gargantuan ass need to ride with me?” I say, clearly comfortable with the situation at hand which catches them off guard.

“Uh, yeah. That’s good. Still a little hungover from last night so I appreciate it.” Angel tells me as looks back at his friends.

“Alright then Sasquatch, get in.” I jokingly command. “But don’t expect too much quiet.”

“Whatever you say, lady.” He shrugs.

“I’ll see you guys wherever I drop off Floyd Mayweather here.” I tell the two men on their bikes.

“Mayweather? I can read.” Angel tells me, obviously a little taken back by my personality.

“For some reason, I doubt that.” I tell him deadpan before smirking.

I laugh as I slide behind the wheel of my car, “Let’s go Angel. You have two hours with me. Let’s see how much you can handle.”

“Damn little girl. If i would have known they were gonna send a comedian, I might have stayed in jail.” Angel says as he keeps the banter going.

“I like her!” EZ yells to the other guys before he starts up his bike.

“Fuckin’ great” he rolls his eyes, the sarcasm in his voice immediately followed by him shaking his head with a smile. “Lets go!” he chirps as he slides into the passenger seat.

This will be fun.

[friendlylocalwriter]

thank u, next pt. 2

Pairing(s):Timothee Chalamet x fem!reader

Warnings: angst (i love pain what can i say), kind of fluffy? (my idea of fluff is just softer angst fmknfsknfns)

Word Count: 2,043 

author’s note: ok im ACTUALLY back this time LMAO. yall wanted, so yall shall receive. enjoy :-)

p.s. it’s not essential to read part 1 before reading this as i wrote it as a stand alone, but if you want a little more context check out pt. 1! :)

It was early on a cold Sunday morning, and I had just stopped into my local cafe for some much-needed caffeine. I stuffed my frozen fingers into my coat pocket and rushed inside to escape the chilling New York air, and was immediately bombarded with the bustling sounds of the shop.

“The usual?”

I was pulled out of my thoughts and looked up to see the barista smiling widely at me, already plugging in numbers. 

“Yes, Vivian, thanks,” I said softly, fishing out a crumpled ten dollar bill from my pocket. She handed me my change with a bright “Coming right up!”, and a few minutes later I was standing with a bagel and a coffee in my hands, wondering where to eat. 

I ended up deciding on the second-floor seating- the designated study area. It comprised mostly of adults typing away furiously on laptops, quickly downing shots of espresso and periodically letting out exasperated sighs. I sat down at a little table in the back and took a bite of my bagel, people-watching. My eyes laid on two teenagers in the corner seated on a little beanbag chair. The boy’s fluffy hair meshed with the short pixie cut of the girl he was laying beside, both nose deep in a book. The girl pointed at something in the thick novel, and the boy nodded, quickly jotting down something in a journal. Curious, I inch towards them to see if I could get a glimpse at the title, and my body freezes when I read it. “The Complete Works of Edgar Allen Poe.”

TWO YEARS PRIOR 

“’ The Complete Works of Edgar Allen Poe? Could you get any more pretentious?”

Timothee let out a hearty laugh as he settled into his chair and brushed his brown locks away from his face., He watched Y/N thumb through the stacks of books arranged haphazardly in his bedroom, lingering on those she found interesting. His eyes trailed down her body, settling on her dirty, doodled-on Converse. 

“Sick shoes,” he chortled, feigning surprise when she flipped him off. 

It was only the second time Timothee and Y/N hung out, and Timothee impulsively asked if she wanted to come over after they spent hours walking around the NYC streets, talking about everything and nothing. He realized how much it sounded like he just wanted to bang her, but (although he did want to do that eventually) he genuinely just ached to spend more time with her. She was funny and blunt and made random weird jokes and just made Tim feel warm and fuzzy all over.

“Huh. Never really pegged you as a self-help book kinda guy,” she muttered, so quietly that Timothee almost couldn’t hear her. But he did.

“Well, what kind of guy do you peg me as?”, he asked, leaning forward in his chair with a grin on his face. Y/N turned around, rolling her eyes when she saw that shit-eating smirk.

“The kind who probably asks every girl he likes to come over to his apartment so they can ‘talk about books.’“ she says with air quotes, walking towards him. Timothee rolled his eyes as she stationed himself in front of him, her legs pressed together in between his spread ones. He said nothing, lightly grazing his hand on the fabric of her jeans. 

Y/N looked down at him and instinctively started running her hands through his hair, her nails scratching at his scalp. He looked up at her with a confused yet entertained look on his face.

“I can’t help it, I like your hair” Y/N giggled, letting her hands sit at the back of his neck.

“Well, I like you,” Timothee said, moving his hands from his jeans to her hand, gently interlocking their fingers. Y/N said nothing for a couple of moments and Timothee looked up at her, nervous.

“Shit, that might’ve been too soon, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-” 

Timothee’s words were cut off by Y/N pressing her lips against his.

PRESENT TIME

“Hey, lady, your phone is ringing,”

I shook my head and realized that my phone was, indeed, ringing at full volume and every person within a 5-foot vicinity was giving me the death glare. I scrambled to stuff my bagel in my purse and let out a rushed “Sorry!” as I grabbed my coffee and sped down the stairs and out of the cafe. Once I was outside, I let myself rest on the window and looked to see who was calling.

‘An unknown number. Weird,’ I thought. ‘I’m pretty sure I blocked all those telemarketers.’

I answer the phone call with a short “Who’s this?”

The line is silent for a few seconds until I hear something I thought I would never hear again.

“Hey, Y/N it-it’s me, Timothee.”

My breath hitched and soared back into my body. Everything came running forward- the late night talks, getting McDonald’s at 4 A.M, the kisses, the hugs, the night he left. 

Left. He left me.

“What the hell do you want?” I spat. Silence fell again, and I shifted against the cafe window, ready to hang up the phone. Then, I heard a deep sigh through the phone and something I didn’t expect- crying. 

“Please, can we talk in person. I ... need to see you,” he choked out. I shut my eyes hard, feeling tears welling beneath my eyelids. No matter what, him crying always made me cry. Always.

I wasn’t going to crack, though. 

“I don’t deserve this, Tim,” I laughed with no humor. “I just started to get used to having a life again, and you just call me out of nowhere asking to see me? You ruined me, T. I don’t owe you a damn thing.”

“Of course you don’t, that’s not what I meant, I-I’m sorry this was stupid. Sorry, sorry,” he rushed out with a quiet voice and the phone call disconnected. I let my head hang and a shuddered breath left my mouth, trying to wrap my head around what happened in the last minute. 

I knew I didn’t deserve this, so I deleted his number and went on with my life. I found another boy who cherished me, respected me, and loved me. I had kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids. I had peace.

I wish that were the truth.

3 DAYS LATER

Paul Anka’s “Put Your Head on Your Shoulder” was the first thing I heard when I pushed open the double doors to my local diner. The 50s-themed restaurant was a favorite of mine, and the food was to die for. I glanced over at the modern-style jukebox to get a glimpse of the time.

2:14 A.M. Jesus.

The diner was empty, and the bored teen behind the counter looked at me with lazy eyes when I approached him.

“Table for two, please,” I asked kindly, giving him a small smile. 

“You with the weirdo?” he questioned unenthusiastically, pointing over to a booth in the corner. I turned, confused, to see Timothee hunched over a cup of coffee. I felt my pulse quicken when he looked up, his dark eyes meeting mine.

“Yeah, sadly. Thanks,” I mumbled, dragging my feet as I trudged over to the booth. I took in a sharp breath when I saw Timothee up close.

His eyes were bloodshot red, dark circles prominent coating his undereye area. His face was sunken and his cheekbones were a lot more prevalent than I remembered. His billowy shirt barely hung on his frame, his collarbones peeking out from the top. I cringed; he looked so unhealthy and broken that I couldn’t bear to look at him anymore. I settled into my side of the booth and kept my eyes on my hands in my lap.

“I know I look a little rough around the edges,” he muttered, a bashful tone to his voice.

“Well, little isn’t exactly the word I would use,” I joked, not being able to stop myself. Timothee looked up at me and laughed, his hair bouncing along with him. I chuckled along, looking him in the eyes. I’m not sure how many moments passed where we were just gazed at each other, taking it all in.

“Are you guys ready to order, or...,” the teen from before came up to our table with his hands crossed over his chest and an annoyed look on his face.

“Uh, yeah, I’ll take a slice of cherry pie and a root beer,” I said, glancing at Timothee from above the menu to prompt him to order.

“I’ll just take another coffee.”

“Don’t know why’d you come to a diner just for coffee but whatever,” the teen said before snatching our menus and walking away. Timothee shook his head and I couldn’t help but snort at the kid’s actions. 

“He’s probably pissed that we are coming in to eat at two in the morning,” Timothee hypothesized. I hummed in agreement, the smile on my face falling when I remembered the situation I was in. 

An awkward silence took over the booth and I focused my eyes on anything except for the curly haired boy in front of me. 

“Look, Y/N, I know this is kind of shitty for me to ask you out to eat and bring up all these bad memories but I just needed to talk to you. I’m not even asking for forgiveness, or for us to get back together, I just,” his voice trailed off and I peeked at him, his head low and his lips pursed together.

“I feel like shit. Like, absolute shit for what I did to you. Not only did I make the biggest mistake of my life, but I was a huge dick about it. I’m sure nothing I say can ever make it better, but I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry. God, I’m so fucking sorry,” he cried, pushing his hair back and violently shaking.

“Christ, Tim, relax, you’re gonna make yourself sick breathing like that,” I hesitantly placed my hand on his face, making him look at me.

“Breathe, T. Breathe”

Timothee closed his eyes as he focused on taking in healthy amounts of air. I moved my hand to take it off of his face and he quickly reached up to put his hand on top of mine, leaving it on his damp cheek. 

“Timothee-”

“I love you, Y/N. With everything I have, every bone in my body,”

“Then why did you cheat on me?”

I think he was shocked I actually brought it up and said those words out loud. I jerked my hand back and put it back in my lap.

“Hmm? That’s why we are here, remember?” I sneered.

He took a big breath and his head bobbed against the back of the booth as he leaned back. 

“Honestly? I have no fucking clue. You had all these great opportunities at university and you were out so much and I felt so... neglected, I guess?”

“So, it��s my fault. Incredible,” I scoffed, grabbing my purse.

“No, no, no, of course not, wait- don’t go yet. Please” he scrambled to grab my hand.

I yanked it back and stood up.

“It was good to see you, Timothee. But I never need to again,” I tried to get out the sentence without crying, but I choked on the last word.

“Please, remember when you said we can fix this? I need us, I need you. I can’t live without you,” he begged, tears flowing down his face. I closed my eyes and exhaled quietly in an effort to catch my breath. In a few quick moves, I pressed my lips against Timothee’s temple, then dug fifteen dollars out of my purse and threw it on the table.

“That should cover the food. Goodbye, Tim,”

My name left Timothee’s mouth multiple times with increasing despair as I turned my back to him, making a beeline for the store. 

“The food’s about to be ready, dude,” the teen behind the counter said as I had the handle on the door. “You can’t wait a couple minutes?”

“Give it to the weirdo for me, please,” I said over my shoulder as I walked into the night, not knowing that would be the last time I’d ever see Timothee. 

[thefantasygirl3]

Sleep Deprived Regrets. Chapter 2: Trevor

genre/warnings: Hurt/comfort, Healing.

Words: 2 927

Summary: Once more, Habit is out and about in the habitat, this time after having sleep-walked. This time he finds himself having to cheer up a sad little werewolf.

Notes: Second chapter out. Not sure when I’ll be putting up another one. But I will try my best to make it, as this one proved to be a little bit of a challenge.  

The dentist gave away a big, relaxed sigh as he opened his eyes and let them meet with the sight of a clear blue sky. A sky that had a beautiful sun shining down onto him as he was laying down on something rather soft and comfy. Confusion finally washed Habit’s mind as he tried to recall when he had gone outside. Wondering where he even was, the man sat up from the ground and let his gaze move downward. He saw… a field? He was sitting in rather tall grass, tickling up against his own green fingers as he ran them across the gentle thin blades. Now even more befuddled than before, his tired confusion turned into a slight panic as he started darting his head around, trying to figure out where exactly he had ended up. Doing so, Boris could see… all of his Habiticians. They were all there too! They were sitting in the grass in small groups and were smiling and talking to each other, enjoying themselves in this beautiful sunny field. They were all looking so happy, handing out flower crowns to each other and trying them on rather gleefully. 

Habit was staring in shock at this sight, not able to believe what was happening. But his amazement was cut very short as he heard the grass beside him starting to rustle. Glancing to the side, he saw his ex-assistant walking over towards him with a wide smile on his face, casually settling himself down beside the taller green man. “Hey! Boris! I’m so glad to see you here! We were missing another person!” Kamal greeted his old boss as he gave him a welcoming smile, shifting giddily in the grass beside him while gripping another flower crown in his hands. Habit stared quietly at his old friend as he was so warmly spoken to, finding it rather confusing considering how they left of in a rather… unfriendly way. But despite that, he felt his cheeks starting to redden and a small smile growing on his face.  “Thank u, Kamal. Im verie habby to “be” hear with you! What hav u got der?” he giggled cheerily as he looked down curiously at the little thing the shorter man got in his little mitts. Giggling right back at him, Kamal reacher up and placed the pretty flower crown on the top of his head. Habit gasped and smiled brightly, laughing along with his friend as he took it off so he could take a whiff of that sweet flora smell.

Taking a deep breath in, he felt himself starting to cough gently. It didn’t smell sweet at all! It almost had a kind of heavy metallic smell. Continuing to cough harder, he threw the flowers away and tried to get a word out to the chuckling black haired man. As soon as his coughing fit was over, he opened his eyes and saw the flowers were now withering while producing some sort of gas out of them. Looking over to Kamal instead for help, Boris suddenly yelped and pulled himself away from the man who now had a toothbrush for a head, still laughing like a mad man.

Scrambling to get back up on his feet, he could now see that the air around him was full of that same gas. A gas he could easily recognize from his profession. And through the clouds he could see all the other Habiticians with their heads looking like various other objects, laughing just like Kamal was and starting to approach the scared man who was backing away from them in his pyjamas, which he didn't remember wearing earlier. Continuing to back away from them, he was suddenly met with a concrete wall and was now forced to meet with all the laughing object heads that were coming closer and closer. “No! Please don’t! Stay back! PLEASE! I'M SORRY! I'M SO SORRY!” he yelled at them all as he closed his eyes tightly in fear.

Habit’s eyes suddenly shot open as he stumbled backwards and landed on his butt, sitting suddenly in somewhat more familiar grass. Shaking off the shock, he took a moment to take in the surroundings of the carnival he now was in. “What the heck? Why am I down here again?” he asked himself perplexed as he remembered how he had left his room last night when he was unable to sleep. All he could do was assume that he had sleep walked down there again after having gone to bed. Yeah. That made sense to him. As he started to rise to his feet, his thoughts started swirling with the dream he had while wandering through the facility in his slumber. 

Wow that was weird! It all started off so great and happy! But… why would it turn so sinister and scary even though everyone were still enjoying themselves? "W-well it was just a dremm! Dreabs are silly and make kno sense!" Habit tried to tell himself nervously, not really sure how to handle the kind of emotions that dream stirred up in him. It made him feel a little bit unsettled and he just wanted to stop thinking about it. That's when an idea hit him. Last time he went out wandering like this, he found someone else awake and talked to them for a bit. Nat seemed to really appreciate that! Maybe, if he went out again around the apartments, he could do the same that night. 

Yeah. Yeah! That sounded fantastic! The perfect distraction! Feeling satisfied with his great idea, the brunette hurriedly rushed over to the gates of the carnival and made a sharp turn towards the staircase, almost losing his balance as he was running up into the apartments.

Finally he reached the top of the stairs and took a short moment to catch his breath. Maybe he was a little too excited to be talking to someone. He didn't do that a lot on the daily, so it was kind of understandable. But thinking to himself that he needs to calm down, the green man took another deep huff and started looking around the hallway with numbered doors. First thing coming to mind was Nat, since he had talked to her the night prior. Maybe she, just like him, was awake this night too! Reaching her door, he took a moment to hold his ear to the door to make sure she was awake, so he wouldn’t be waking her by knocking or something.

…

Nope. Nothing. Complete silence.

Letting out a disappointed sigh, Habit just turned away and headed down the turn leading towards the rest of the rooms he hadn’t passed. While he was passing a few more rooms, something finally caught his attention. He swore that he could hear the sound of a dog whining, which shouldn’t be the case. “A… dog???” Boris questioned to himself as he moved his ear around from door to door, trying to determine where exactly the pitiful cries were coming from. And soon enough, he could tell precisely where it was coming from and who was making that sound.

“Ah… Trevor Garbo, huh?” he muttered softly to himself as he thought over this current situation. “So, I’m outside the room of a whining teen who thinks he’s a werewolf. At night. After sleepwalking my way here… yeah, that’s about as normal as my usual life” the dentist concluded to himself as he kept hearing the young boy quietly howling inside his room in despair. Deciding this was now his problem, Habit reached out and gently gave his door a knock, trying to not chicken out and run back downstairs. He got a scared yip in response and heard the sound of a small thud. Oopsie doopsie!

He waited patiently for the boy inside to come and open the door for him, which happened after about a minute of shuffling around. Trevor looked up at the person that stood outside his room. He looked absolutely horrified at first, hiding behind the door as he muttered something panicked to himself about “Vampires” and “Smiling dead”. Habit peeked inside concerned as the boy kept mumbling about whatever it was that worried him. As his eyes shifted to the side to meet with the taller one’s, his fear seemed to turn more into sorrow as he became more quiet. After a few seconds of staring, he finally mumbled “... or it’s just Dr. Habit… Checking in on me or something”. He walked back inside his room, tiredly hanging and dragging himself towards the bed as he sat himself back on it. 

Right… Habit almost forgot that he’s not exactly a fan favorite in the habitat. Not sure what else he expected. “Why are you here?” The wolf boy asked the man who slowly entered the room cautiously while he wrapped his arms around his own legs, burying his face between his knees. The smile doctor froze for a moment, feeling unsure over how to respond to that question without sounding weird. 

“Well… I seem to be unable to sleep… and found myself wandering around the habitat. But I thought I heard you crying or something and I got worried. Is… Everything ok with you, Trevor?” he asked him nervously while continuing over to the boy and taking a seat on the bed beside him, looking genuinely concerned for him. 

Looking up at Habit slightly, he gave him this sad pout and just turned towards the window, staring up at the moon. “... no. It’s not! It’s not ok! Because apparently I’m not a real werewolf! I’m just “acting out” and “going through a phase”! Well then I guess all my other factual theories are all false too and EVERYTHING I’VE COME UP WITH IS ALL STUPID NOTHING AND A WASTE!” Trevor started rambling loudly, releasing his legs so that he could angrily shake his hand in front of his face. Now really worried because of the yelling, the older man waved his hands worriedly and stuttered something incoherent in an attempt to calm the boy.

Holy moley! Habit had at least expected him to be somewhat stand-offish or just say "fine" without any elaboration. He wasn't ready for an emotional explosion! It really stunned him, he had no idea what to say at all! He just kept sputtering random “W-well now-” and “No! No! Not at all!”, trying to make Trevor stop whining and growling loudly. The boy, after rambling in a small temper tantrum, finally let out an elongated whine while curled up into a ball on the bed, laying on his side. “Everyone is so ignorant. I am a werewolf. I just… can’t seem to transform, no matter how hard I try or how mad I get. Ugh! And they doubt my theories too! It’s like they believe I’m lying or that I’m delusional! I’m NOT! I’m… I’m…” Trevor started whimpering as his voice trailed off, looking more and more sad as his eyes drifted over towards the window to gaze up at the moon. He then continued on as he regained his voice again before the other guy could think up something to say. “... Maybe… maybe I am wrong. All my theories aren’t… factual”.

Boris gasped and covered his mouth in shock, not able to believe that he had just heard that coming from TREVOR, the biggest conspiracy theorist he had ever met! He would never expect the wolf boy to be completely dismissing all of his theories that he had come up with. It didn’t sound like him at all. Geez. He felt so bad for the poor sad boy, he wished that he could figure out a way to cheer him up. Inconsiderate people, talking down on his interests and ruining his fun! 

“... Wait… hmm…” thinking about it a few seconds, something actually hit him. Maybe, just maybe, if Habit could appeal to his special interests, he could encourage the boy to not give up on himself. Clearing his throat, he tried his best to think up his next response. “Ah… That doesn’t sound like you at all! You… Y-you would never give up on a lead! You’d find a way to work around it and figure out the real truth!” he started with as he reached a hand out and placed it on the boy’s back. Trevor just slapped it away and sat up on the bed, turning towards Boris to give him a glare. “Well I am! I’m giving up and waiting till this “phase” is over!” he barked at the tall green man and just sat angrily beside him, glaring him down with tearful eyes.

Darn! That didn’t seem to work very well! He was still acting all off! “Wait! He’s acting off!” Habit thought to himself as he now was struck with exactly what he should say! 

“You would never say that! Which means… something is… w-wrong! I think… you are b-being… uuuh… ma-manipulated!” he tried to sound confident while telling this to the now confused looking boy, obviously looking unsure over how he would receive the claim. He continued anyways, he had already committed. “I-I mean! Listen! You are a very good theorist and you… come up with such amazing ideas! And I remember the one you were talking to me about! About the… vampires and whatnot! So I think you are being made to doubt yourself by… the vampires?” Habit stumbles his way through the conversation, trying to convince the boy that there might be something more at play. 

Obviously it wasn’t true. But it seemed to at least get Trevor thinking a bit. “Hm… i must have… gotten too close to the truth… so that gartner orchestrated this whole charade to make me doubt myself!” he said as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully, earning a relieved sigh from the doctor beside him. But the boys mood was quickly ruined again as he looked out at the moon again. “But still… I’m not able to turn into a werewolf. There is no way the vampire could have caused that”.

Again, Habit started stuttering nervously as he tried to come up with yet another theory to cheer the wolf boy up again. How could he explain that?! He wasn’t a werewolf expert! But he had to say something! Come on, Boris! Just Bullcrap something up! “Um! Uh! W-well maybe it wasn't a vampire! I mean- Maybe there are more people at play here than Trencil!” he chuckled nervously as his brain started going into overdrive, thinking of several things at once to come up with his theory. 

Trevor looked up at Dr. Habit and tilted his head, looking both curious and unsure as he seemed to be all ears at this point. “What do you mean? Are you saying the vampire… has an accomplice?” he asked as he moved on the bed to sit on his knees, facing the other man. Ha! It’s working! He’s intrigued again! “Well… considering that the moon is the source of a werewolves transformation, I think, and vampires aren't able to survive in space… I think that the accomplice is… AN ALIEN!” the big green man exclaimed confidently as he raised his hand and pointed it at the moon, grinning assuredly. 

Trevor gasped and put his hands to his cheeks staring up at the moon too as he was now fully aboard this theory. “OF COURSE! Aliens would have all sorts of technology! Who’s to say they wouldn’t have a machine to disable the moons werewolf properties! I even bet that my self doubt was because of some sort of mind-altering rays!” the wolf boy started rambling as he was waving his arms up and down excitedly in front of him, having stars in his eyes as he did so.

Habit grinned as he saw Trevor getting so excited about this new theory of his. He wanted to keep this hype train going! “Yeah! That would make sense! Maybe those rays might have side effects! I woke up after having sleep-walked just before! I don’t usually do that, so maybe that is proof of your theory!” he continued adding on as he was also starting to move around his hands in enjoyment of the others joy. 

“Oh my god! Yes! That is definite proof of the rays! Now we have to find some way to protect ourselves against the mind control! I’ve heard things made of gold will reflect rays of all sorts!” the werewolf boy said confidently. Habit wasn’t sure where he had heard that, but it seemed to make him happy, so he just smiled and nodded. Then he looked out the window and realized the sky was starting to brighten up slightly, making him realize how long he had been there with Trevor. 

“Oh dear! I need to go back to bed! And so do you! I’m sorry I kept you up for so long!” he laughed softly and stood up off the bed quickly. “Aw… do you need to?” Trevor asked sadly as he sat up on the bed and pouted at him. “Yeah. Sorry… but hey” the man said softly, earning a curious head tilt. “... I’ll be sure to bring you something out of gold… for protection” he said with a small grin before heading over to the door, opening it and taking a pause in the doorway to look back at the boy. 

“Thank you, Dr. Habit. Goodnight” Trevor said softly as he waved a little at him. Habit smiled and waved back, saying “Goodnight” before closing the door behind him.

[do-not-cry-little-ones]

Matchup exchange with Chance!

Just in case anyone is looking to do a matchup exchange with me~

- I’m a straight female, and any fandom that you write for is ok (even tho I still have a lot of animes on my watchlist and most likely haven’t watched what you want to match me up with lmao), but I’d prefer BNHA and/or Haikyuu!! if that’s okay :)

- any age is okay but, please, like, don’t match me up with like an 80 year old man...

- appearance: people have told me I look kinda intimidating, or aloof, and I mean...it’s kinda true, it’s mostly coz I don’t really pay attention to strangers and stuff, & I keep to myself a lot. I’m not intimidating because of my looks, it’s just the way I tend to behave around people I don’t know. I’m 5’8, & people have told me I’m pretty(I don’t wear makeup so I take it to heart when someone compliments me on my looks 😌)

- If you want actual looks, then I have long wavy brown hair, slightly slanted light brown eyes, lanky(lmao), pretty muscly, 

- fashion sense...what the heck is that? Look, I’ll find something in my closet & wear it for like a week lmao. But in all seriousness, my style is probably just tomboy/casual sorta thing.

- I’ve asked people what colour i remind them of and they've said dark green?

- I’m a good listener & will try my best to help out if you need to rant or whatever, but my advice/help is usually practical & will be something to actually solve the problem, not support you emotionally.

- I’m thougthful and tend to look too deeply into things(like songs and movies) & I sometimes overthink things and miss an easier solution to a situation or send myself into a spiral of what if they don’t like me was I talking too loud no I shouldn’t have said that it was stupid-

- I’m an ambivert, leaning introvert, so while I love hanging out, I need space as well.

- I think of myself as a chameleon; I’ll match my energy levels to those around me & my sense of humour as well, but if someone is TOO different, I’ll get tired because of me having to change myself to fit them. But I get along with most people just fine, I’m just really awkward.

- I’m pretty chaotic at times & I love chaotic people as well, just not too chaotic that I can’t match it.

- I looooove learning about different people, like I’m just so fascinated by different personalities & how the brain works. It’s just so interesting!!!

- I’m sarcastic, but I also have a very dark sense of humour. Ooooo I also love puns, but I don’t wanna hear the same one over & over again.

- I’m basically emotionally constipated & I literally never EVER talk about my feelings yay. So I get really stressed if I keep things pent up too long(which is most of the time).

- I did the enneagram type personality test once & I got type one. One of the main points that I related with was when it said that type ones are emotional restrictors(or something like that I can’t remember). It basically means that I try not to feel certain emotions. For example, anger is a so called “bad” emotion, so whenever I feel it, I try to suppress it coz, in my eyes, it’s a “bad” emotion.

- I feel responsible for everything, so you’ll notice little things about me like: not sleeping during a car ride, always looking at the road, stuff like that. I’m constantly aware of everything around me coz I think that no one else is paying any attention so that loads more stress on to me.

- I don’t think I take situations seriously enough & one of my coping mechanisms is laughing or joking about it...

- I don’t have very high self-confidence but I hide it yay.

- I’m pretty relaxed when I want to be but I’m said to be too criticaI and pick on small insignificant things.

- though I don’t particularly like being the center of attention, I LOVE the thrill of being in the spotlight for a singing performance, or a play or whatever thing I’m doing atm.

- I have a very strong moral compass, and am often known as a ‘goody-two shoes’, but I don’t like to be one. It’s just a worry about people and I won’t do something that’s morally wrong(to me).

- It also kinda ties in with my responsibility thing, because I don’t think anyone else will have the common sense to not do something stupid.

- Though while I am I stickler for rules, I don't actually like them myself. It stems from my hate of being trapped by things, physically and metaphorically. Physically, I just hate the thought of being under something and not being able to do anything about it. For example, if I flip a canoe over in the water and I end up under it, I will freak out internally, though on the outside I’ll just look uncomfortable. Metaphorically, I don’t like being held back by rules, though I am a stickler for them, and I don’t like the restraint it forces me to have on my freedom.

- Hobbies: I sing!! Like a lot, tho not in front of my friends or family & I’ve done many performances. I write,,,,too much,,,and I end up procrastinating a bunch coz of it...but I try to stop...unsuccessfully...ANYway, I also draw & read, & I love mountain climbing!! Also I play a few sports & looking to get into more lmao, so I’m pretty athletic & muscular.

- What I look for in a partner: honesty, charisma, assertiveness(I definitely won’t be the one to initiate ANYTHING), a want for adventure, good sense of humour, genuine feelings, mature, caring, IM HIGH KEY TOUCH STARVED SO BE PREPARED

- But, like I said, my partner will have to be the one to initiate physical contact or else I won’t feel welcomed to touch them. ALSO I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE PLAY WITH/DO MY HAIR!!! It’s just so nice to feel someone raking their fingers through my hair...

I hope this is enough :)

[zayashmaya]

coconut cake, cinnamon rolls, yule log and toffee pudding for the Husbands and Mc? :O

LET’S DO THIIIISSSSSS

coconut cake: have you ever been on vacation with your f/o? where did you go?

- ok mc somehow gets marvus to go to sweden with her, even though he HATES the cold. he’s bitching and whining the whole way there until he learns to exploit his wife for warmth with cuddles by a fireplace. he ends up really enjoying skiing (it’s no surprise that he’s a bit of an adrenaline junky) although the ski lifts are something he had to get used to. but his favorite memory from this trip was when he saw the northern lights for the first time. marvus just silently watched this miracle unfold while mc happily clung to his arm and he got pretty emotional about the whole experience. he told her how much he loved her for being in his life and giving him the opportunity to see something like this, and to be free to do so. 

- mc and lanque have gone to the bahamas! and he really enjoyed it, despite him usually being more partial to places like morocco or spain. the first few days were spent lounging around at the beach taking selfies until they both got really bored (and lanque was hella tired of people constantly hitting on him). so they set off to explore caves and water holes, which made him slightly nostalgic. snorkeling was a weird experience for him, he never imagined that he could see what lies in an ocean without getting culled. needless to say, he thinks the bahamas are absolutely beautiful, and he develops a weird love for eating conchs (mc hates how they taste). 

- mc wanted to push tagora’s boundaries by suggesting they stay at one of those water bungalows in the maldives, where the cabins are on the water and you can just swim from your living room. but tagora was NOT having it, he is not fond of water, especially with how the salty breeze makes his hair smell. so they compromised by going to santorini. he finds the architecture really unique and endearing, and the view is to die for. they stay in a rented home that has a classic blue dome and overlooks the ocean, and the outside is surrounded by vibrant flowers. tagora really likes how reclusive it feels, where he can unwind and relax with mc and no one will bother them. they start to feel particularly bougie when they go to wine tastings at vineyards. lanque really wants to do this with them next time, he’s all about this life. 

cinnamon rolls: who has the bigger sweet tooth?

- out of all of them, probably mc and lanque! marvus is partial to sugary drinks but his ultimate love is spicy food, and tagora likes salty and umami. lanque is a sucker for an old-fashioned bakery shop where he can get fresh pastries. mc is a garbage can who chugs mountain dew and reese’s until she realizes her diet is way too awful to sustain. 

yule log: favourite holiday? is yours different from your f/o’s?

(im vibrating with excitement i love gushing about holidays)

- they all unanimously don’t buy into the quadrant appreciation day stuff, because every day is valentine’s day for them. marvus in particular loves to don the tinfoil hat and talk about how it’s a fake holiday created by companies to sell overpriced holiday crap. still doesn’t stop all three of the hubbies from pampering mc asjfhajl

- tagora goes apeshit for christmas, and lanque really loves this holiday too. they dont care about the religious aspect at all, they just love the cozycore vibe and spending time with family and eating dinner and opening presents (tagora’s love language is gifts and money). marvus is there for the eggnog and smooching under a mistletoe. mc makes them all wear tacky christmas sweaters and she dons an elf hat for the rest of the evening. and who am i kidding lanque also takes so much advantage of that mistletoe.

- marvus looooooves halloween, and it’s mc’s favorite holiday as well. they go HARD with decorating their home and outclassing every house within a 1000 mile radius, and they throw the best parties ever. mc eats all the candy of course. tagora and lanque aren’t THAT possessed by the holiday spirit but they definitely spend a long ass time preparing their costumes because they are drama queens like that. 

- mother’s day and father’s day makes the husbands a bit depressed because it reminds them of their lusi and they miss them :c tagora has the hardest time being apart from his lusus so mc gets him a ferret that he names abacus (lil abby!!!!) and this becomes the most spoiled ferret in all of existence. 

toffee pudding: how does your f/o feel about formalwear/black tie events?

- tagora gets anxious. he’s pretty good at socializing when he’s in the moment, but he spends a lot of time beforehand working himself up into a tizzy and busying himself with picking out just the right attire to impress the crowd. needless to say, he needs his emotional support alien with him at all times in case something goes wrong. mc is a master of rectifying awkward situations. sometimes he’ll bring galekh or lanque with him. 

- lanque thrives at these events and he looks ungodly attractive while doing so. he’s far more subtle in how he manipulates a crowd - it starts with winning over an attendee who just happens to have a lot of connections at the party, and before he knows it he’s being introduced to many people who fall under his spell. he doesn’t always bring mc along, mostly because she distracts him and sometimes he genuinely needs to do networking and less leering at his date. but mc will be damned if she doesn’t get a good look at lanque in a suit before he leaves. 

- marvus lives and breathes these type of events. his taste in fashion will depend on what sort of crowd will be there; he can tone it down a notch with a tasteful suit and a pop of color for his shirt, or he can be so camp that your eyes will bleed. he charms the whole crowd in attendance the minute he walks through the doors. he is loud and proud and in charge and everyone fawns over him. even when he’s relaxing somewhere, people will gravitate towards him. like lanque, he doesn’t pressure mc to come with him, but when she’s there, his attention is fixed on her. she’s at his side constantly or sitting in his lap, he’s not picky, just as long as she’s around. he loves getting ready for the event with her and asking for her input on what to wear and vice versa. they always coordinate their outfits. mc gets a little overwhelmed by the events that he attends (these aren’t small-time gatherings or corporate networking events, they are probably galas for rich people). marvus knows this, so he always makes sure not to leave her unattended for too long. they totally smash in a bathroom or something classless like that. if not there then definitely in the limo on the way back home adjfhaj

[gg-astrology]

hello! how is your day going? i hope everything is fine💘 sorry to bother you, you can ignore this if you are not still doing this. what do you think about pisces sun, taurus moon and virgo rising? i would love to hear your opinion! i really like your blog. thank you and have a nice day❣️

hey there!! 💕💕💕 no worries at all!! 💕💕 u’re not bothering me ksjfnknk i can definitely talk about it 💞💞 thank u for being so nice and understanding 💞

❌Warning - Long Post ❌ (im sorry the read more is fucking up)

[Below Cut: Pisces Sun - Taurus Moon 🐄 ]

There’s a certain independence to them, like ‘freedom!!!!!!!’ and can cling onto that– it’s definitely not a bad thing at all, in fact it makes them all the more endearing. They are people who bode well when others leave them alone to do let them do their own thing skdnfkn

You know what I love most about them? They’re peace-keeping. Like these people have a kind of purity in their heart that wants to spread it to the world outside as well, so most of the time if they’re ADAMANT on something– they’re trying looking out for others around them

They’re the kind of people who won’t let you get away with toxic/dangerous situation, can sometimes feel warmly concerned for others and try to care for them in their own ways. May tend to feel like they should keep an eye on something (hovering) but knows consciously not to impose themselves onto them.

Like they don’t really ‘push’ themselves onto others (*depends on context and what’s happening though)– they have a lil more flexibility than say a fire sign. They’re kinda like ‘ok, well if you think that’s the best option then ill support you. But you know I think there’s other ways you can do this’

They’re straight forward, not in the conventional sense. They’ll let their opinions be known to the person (full disclosure), so that if things go south– the other person isn’t totally blindsided by their own perspective cause they’ve already heard the Pisces/Taurus opinion y know?

They’re there to care for others and can be great at picking up other people’s pieces (if they fall apart)-- but the thing is they might not get to do it a lot (*It depends on the people around them too, if they’re emotional or not) since they’re good at pre-caution (warning others, taking care of others, making sure they’re ok). 

They’re not stupid, and they don’t hang out with people who are stupid.

They do their best to be mild-mannered with people, they try to exude the MOST patient and tolerance they have for others. 

They might be more of the listening type, because if they start talking– they often feel like they have to watch their words (from being too blunt/not delicate enough for what they want to do)

They do their best to be Gentlest Person first, and may view others as being more delicate than them sometimes. 

The Taurus Moon here makes the person feel like their internal self is sturdier– there’s a density to their emotional depth/consciousness. 

Compared this to other people, they don’t know how other people ARE – whether they break or is fine with it-- so they do their best to be as Gentle as possible with them,

The Pisces/Taurus person knows themselves best, compared to how they know others. They can Take It if push comes to shove for them, if someone has some hard-hitting advice to give that is more practical/objective than subjective (so not a personal attack, just an advice). 

But they don’t know if OTHERS are like that. What if they can’t take it? Pisces/Taurus are always looking out for others even when they WANT to give hard-hitting advice. They’re pretty conscious of other people’s well-being and feeling, so they only do it when it’s NECESSARY and there’s no other way they can go about this. 

The sturdiness of Taurus gives people peace of mind around them, they feel tranquil (especially with Pisces) – they may often find themselves to be very artistic people. Writing, drawing, etc. Both of these signs are in good placements for artistic expressions and creation, manifesting and fulfilling their idealism and goals

Another thing is also their resourcefulness, kind of like finding money on the ground and going ‘oh! lucky!’ — they may often find themselves to be pretty lucky people, picking up things/noticing things right before it’s needed/others notice as well. Thus why they may be personally popular with those who adore them, they just seem so genuinely ‘no biggie’ kind of attitude-- it makes them easy-going to be around, because they’re just themselves y know

One thing about this Pisces Sun is that the Moon definitely stops them from being a complete push-over or being used by people. They value themselves and their inner integrity, being forced to move/do things without their complete consent/control is a no-no. 

They may be willing to lend a hand and help/care for others (Venusian Moon and Neptunian/Jupiterian Sun) but they’re NOT allowing others to get away with selfish gain at their expense (without disclosure/so when they’re blindsided).

Watch that you don’t let yourself slip, you can be completely blindsided (by your own) leisure-orientedness. You like things that are smooth, harmonious and can see a clear path to achieving. You like feeling like you’ve accomplished something and then luxuriating in that feeling.

Challenge yourself sometimes, by being more open-minded and daring. By not being motivated by ‘the light at the end of the tunnel’.

Dare yourself to let your real feelings show. Seriously, you feel so deeply/strongly for others and things in your life, yet you may feel like you can’t express them all completely. 

When it comes to your feelings– despite being a Pisces, you may skrt away from Actually confronting the depth of your emotions. While you may be sentimental and ‘feeling’ all the time – you actually get stuck trying to really pull out your own emotional depth (and sometimes it tangles and becomes ‘emotional beliefs’ instead) and clean out your past feelings.

Getting too deep terrifies you because you don’t know how to get back out. You don’t know if it’s well-received or how to do it, but it will seriously help you. You can also find yourself living in the past, remembering sensation, a time period, past achievements, living inside your own body instead of in the present. Another motivation to do a deep cleaning of your inside instead of letting it control you 💞

It’ll help you with not being stubborn or fixed in your point of view, make you open and relax, be a little less tense in your perspective. You tend to cling onto what you know and can see (metaphorically and materially) and thus sometimes, the way you want to be (open and understanding, free and warm) is restricted by your own structured comfort and ‘tradition’

Honestly just letting your true feelings show will help with everything, that’s the main point of tension. It may be your protection, your strength and advantage. But if you don’t clean it out or maintain it properly, it’ll clog up and become a disadvantage for you as well.

I hope this is good!! 💞💞💞 thank u for sending in the ask!! 💞💞 i hope u have a good day~ 💞  

[galoismyhimbo]

New Oc (This gonna be long and messy im sorry)

Name: Samantha “Sam/Sammy” Coleman

Birthday: November 6th, 1988 (Age 30)

Sexuality: Bisexual

Height: 5′8

Occupation: Peggie (later defected), demolition expert (and melee fighter if that counts lmao)

Backstory(pre-cult): Sam was born in the small town of Belfield, North Dakota; she never knew her father and her mother worked constantly. So, Sam had to watch over her younger sister from ages 5 to 17. She lived in poverty, her mother barely making it check by check. Because of this, they wouldn’t have food for days sometimes; which led her to stealing from stores. Sam was always a rebellious child so these things came naturally to her, usually being able to lie her way out of being caught. She would steal candy and small snacks from the corner gas station after school on Friday’s for her and her sister, never seeming to get caught by the man who owned the place. That or he never cared to stop her, either way she always looked forward to it. Sam drank a lot in her teens, stealing it from her mother or even from stores, sitting up on her roof and just relaxing. She liked the peace and quiet of her town, she won’t lie; it was nice at night. She would listen to the crickets chirp with her little sister, watch storms that went through, and even snuck outside to play in the snow every winter. Her sister was dear to her. Sam was genuinely nice to her sister but was very confrontational to everyone else, which led her to many fights throughout her school life; even getting into some outside of school. And as much as she loved to fight, she was getting tired of it; tired of the school, tired of the other kids there, tired of her family. She just wanted to start a new life by herself. And so she decided to run away as soon as she got out of juvie (she ended up in there after beating the holy hell out of another kid during a fight. She was there from age 16 to 17). The moment she was released she went home, grabbed any food and clothing she could, stuffed it into her backpack and stole her mothers car; picking a direction and driving West. The car eventually breaks down in some part of Montana, so, she takes the bus from then on. She didn’t know where it would take her nor did she really care. She eventually got off the bus in Hope County. She would lie and say she wasn’t scared but she was, she was in an unfamiliar place at night and it didn’t feel right. But nevertheless, she started walking towards some lights in the distance, eventually arriving in Fall’s End. She slept inside the church that night since she had no where else to go; she woke up the next day to a man standing over her with a concerned look. She later learned his name was Jerome and he took her in for awhile. Sam was nice to him, but only because she needed a place to sleep; she didn’t care for him in all honesty (that changes in the future). 

(Cult) little note: Idk when Eden’s Gate actually arrived in Hope County so just, forgive me and my dates if they completely wrong.

Sam arrived in Hope County around 2005 and by then things were pretty normal in the County. Sam helped around in the bar for a bit to make some money, and because she could steal some beer. But about 3 years later, a group showed up in the County, called Eden’s Gate that was led by a man named Joseph Seed. She didn’t pay much attention to him or the group, nor did anyone else really. It wasn’t until she heard rumors of people being forced to join the group, and that the group was acquiring land and weapons over years, that she became interested. She just wanted to see if these rumors were true, and it wouldn’t hurt to see just ONE of Joseph’s sermons, right? So one day she decides to go to one of his sermons held at a nearby farm; Jerome tried to warn her not to go since most of his congregation left for Joseph and his teachings, but she didn’t listen. And so she went and listened, not believing anything he was saying, and as she glanced around, she seemed to be the only one. Everyone there was entranced by Joseph Seed and she had no idea why, his words were bullshit to her. But he seemed to hear her thoughts, constantly looking her right in the eyes as she had sat up front, that was a mistake on her part. Every time he looked at her she would feel nervous, she hasn’t felt this way before. After he was finished she got up to leave, as was everyone else, but was stopped by two people. They had that symbol on their clothing, the symbol for Eden’s Gate. She glared at them and told them to move but they didn’t, and she just got angrier. She wanted to get the Hell out of there. When she looked over her shoulder she could see Joseph, and his siblings, as he called them, looking at her. She couldn’t tell what they were thinking, but she didn’t like what was happening. She tried to go around the people blocking her way but was pushed back. All she could think was, “I fucked up”. She wasn’t allowed to leave and instead was led to a small body of water, a couple people pouring something in it. She stopped walking at the sight, trying to turn back around but was forced forward by a man. She didn’t see who it was but his grip was rough as she was basically dragged into the water, yelling at them to let go. The last thing she remembered was the man talking, another person coming up, grabbing her arm, and forcing her head under water. Whatever was in the water wore off at some point and she finally was in her right mind, but found herself in a room at a table. Joseph sitting across from her with his hands folded on the table. He talked about how he saw the pain in her eyes and how he knows she feels alone, but that she could have a family once again. She wanted to roll her eyes but stopped herself from doing so. She watched him slide a cup towards her as he spoke about being a family, but she pushed it away, saying “You don’t need to drug me. You already forced me that on me in that lake. I’ll join your group willingly; i’ll do whatever ya’ll want. Just don’t drug me.” She felt like she was having a heart attack as she said that, she didn’t know how things would turn out. But she remembers Joseph just staring at her for a good minute or two before giving a small nod, motioning her to stand as he did. Whatever she did over the next 10 years is something she’ll try to forget.

(how she eventually escaped): Sam had been a Peggie for years and its messed with her head. Yeah, she was always an angry person, picking fights with others constantly. But she just got angrier in the cult, and it was because of what the cult was doing. Building bunkers, saying the world was ending, killing innocents, making HER kill. They did things to her that fucked her up as well. Faith forcing that bliss onto her whenever Joseph thought she was “acting out”. John carving sloth, lust, and wrath onto her body. Luckily, she was never given to Jacob. She knows what he does to people. But over time she started to get on the Seed’s good side. She’s always been good at lying, and it seemed to work even on a man like Joseph, who said God spoke to. This is what eventually led her to seeing an old friend again, River. They both grew up in that small town, Sam being older than the other, she was always looked up to. Sam always hated it, she was no role model. She saw River with Joseph, and she looked scared. Sam knows she was with that group of deputies, the ones that crashed in the helicopter and were taken to each herald. Poor River was given to Joseph, and that had to be because of her gentleness. River never got into fights like Sam did as children, and Sam doubted she changed over the last few years. She knew she had to get River out, and she was glad she was close to Joseph. He would trust her enough to watch over River. And after a few weeks, that eventually happened. One of the deputies had been fucking things up for the cult, so Joseph was too preoccupied with that to watch over River. So, one night, Sam went into the room River was in and told her about the escape plan. “I know, long time no see. But i need to make this quick. You can’t stay here any longer, Joseph is going to mind fuck you like no other, ok? A person like yourself is easy prey for him, so follow me and be quiet.”

River wanted out so she blindly followed. They got outside and just started running, seeing a patrol of Peggies coming towards them. They were eventually followed after, bullets whizzing pass them as the ran. River was confused when Sam suddenly stopped her, taking her by the arms and looking into her eyes. It was dark out, they could barely see the others face. But River could hear the fear in Sam’s tone as she spoke. "You better get that little ass out of here, cause i’m getting myself in some deep shit and it will be worth it if I know you're no longer in this Hell hole. They don't need to corrupt anymore people with their fucked up beliefs. NOW GO!" River remembers seeing Sam shoot her gun into the air to draw attention as she ran to the right, away from her. River did get back to the resistance.

Sam was eventually caught by the Peggies and lets just say, went through HELL. Papa Joe was NOT a happy man. She was sent to John to “atone” for her actions, and boy did he make it hurt 10 times more. Yet, she never regretted helping River; even smiling a few times during her “atonement” whenever John would say to confess her sins. “It can’t be a sin to help an old friend leave Hell” She was eventually found by resistance members and was helped to safety, too weak to fight the Peggies that tried to get her back. She actually blacked out at one point, waking up in a room alone. She knew she was safe now, feeling relaxed for once. But also that anger within her was coming back up, and she will give those Peggies Hell the moment she is strong enough to. River and her grew closer and closer over time, Sam confiding in River about what happened to her. She was never good with expressing her emotions, but River sure was; and that gave Sam comfort.

Once Sam was strong enough to fight, she did. She learned how to build explosives, made her favorite weapon: barb wired baseball bat, and fucked up any Peggie she saw. She helped that deputy with anything, River and her being a duo in certain tasks.

“If ya ever need a dramatic exit with explosions? Call me. AND if ya ever need someone to bash a Peggie’s brain in? I’m your girl.”

Facts:

- She has a sleeve of tattooed bliss flowers on her right arm.

- She actually got close to John first, she figured it be easier than the other heralds. She even had a one night stand of sorts once. She hates talking about it cause she finds it embarrassing. Her first sober thought the next morning as she ran out his room was, "I dont need him getting attached to me! Nope!"

- Joseph kept his promise of not blissing her up, or she thinks he did. She my have been slipped some, who knows?

-Joseph could see Sam's reluctance in her actions many times, however. So he and his heralds always kept an eye on her. He feared she was on the brink of defecting, but didnt think she'd do so with eyes on her 24/7.

- John calls Sam, "little Devil", for many reasons lmao

- Sam is a big drinker, and she hated the fact you couldnt drink in the cult. Also it's a reason she liked John in the beginning; he always had alcohol hidden away.

- here's a playlist I have for her so far: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/7zAKlUsEuQMsvWt4Y5Q3vn

- after defecting from the cult, she reconnected with Jerome. Shes realized that he tried to teach her how to do right things all those years ago. And while she still rebels against him, or everyone really, she cares about him now. Unlike in the past.

- If given the chance, she would start a cult as a way to say "fuck you, this ones better" to Joseph

- Shes met Emily and Hope before, both being deputies along side River. She isnt close to them but occasionally helps out with missions.

Random Quotes:

. "You never know when a decision is going to change your life. So always be careful around here."

. "You don't know how nice it is to see the fear in the peggies eyes. I've seen it countless times in

. "I wont lie, you shouldnt trust someone like me. Not saying I'll go back to Joseph, but just with things in general."

. "River is too fucking kind for her own good. And I know Joseph loves that, so keep her safe when I'm not around"