#genuinely how on EARTH anyone thinks they’re platonic

[emotoangel]

the theories that Dan is down bad for Phil and Phil doesn’t know/ they’re not together anymore make me laugh so fucking much because you’re telling me that this man edits or reviews videos and sees Dan looking at him like THIS

and Phil DOESN’T KNOW?? My guy doesn’t see the man sat next to him staring at him like he hung the moon, the sun and all the stars??? He doesn’t know he’s in love with him??????? are you insane?????

[marauroon]

can u please write a fic about James and the reader being bestfriends and becoming lovers pls?

thats my favorite trope ever ♡♡♡

C O M M O N A L I T Y — JAMES POTTER!

james potter x fem!reader | fluff | 3.2k | masterlist!!

sometimes you and james were a bit too close as friends, and it was making him question the platonicness of your relationship

cw — james feeling guilty for having feelings, mild miscommunication, friends to lovers, happy ending

James had been… off lately.

You weren’t sure that anyone else would even be able to tell, he was still his outrageously confident self, outgoing and charming, playfully annoying, but there was something there that was different, and you weren’t sure if it was in a positive way.

He looked more tired than usual, more drained, the small glint in his eyes barely holding on under whatever nimbus cloud had managed to overtake the inside of his head.

“Hey,” You approach him gently, taking a seat beside him on one of the common room sofas with your legs curled up underneath you. “You okay?”

“Yeah I’m great, did you hear that we kicked Slytherin’s ass during our practice match this morning?” Deflection. You could practically feel it radiating off of him. Even his tone was laced with it, the usual excitement that would be present over something like that simply acting as a mask to cover whatever was underneath it.

“James,” You furrow your eyebrows ever so slightly and he can tell that he’s beat.

“I hate how well you know me sometimes…” And just like that any sense of trying to hide the sorrowful state he was in disappears, replaced with a genuine show of discontent as he leans his head over the back of the seat.

You sigh, leaving your hand on his knee to rub small circles against the skin exposed by his shorts. “What’s wrong? You’ve been off all week,”

“It’s nothing you can help with love don’t worry about it,”

“I’m going to worry about it,”

“I know,” James gives out a long exhale, dragging the palm of his hand underneath his glasses to rub at his eyes. “I’m really fine, though,”

“James,” You tilt your head with a small pool of worry in your eyes. “Please tell me what’s going on,”

He always hated it when you looked at him like that.

“It’s truly nothing for you to worry your pretty little head about okay?” He pulls himself to sit up straight, mirroring your head tilt with his own. “I’ve gotta figure it out in my own time,”

You didn’t want to pry. If he wanted to tell you then he would. All you could really do was wait.

“Alright…”

That didn’t mean you were happy about it.

“Love…” James sighs softly. “Don’t look like that,”

“I’m just worried about you…”

“I know,” James leaves his hand on top of yours as a show of thanks for your concern over him.

He wants to tell you. And he should really. But how on earth do you bring up that you’ve managed to fall in love with your best friend, to said best friend?

‘Hey, by the way, I know we’re like best mates and all but every time you touch me I feel like I’m going to explode.’

“You should at least get some sleep, you look tired,”

Yeah, it’s kind of hard to sleep when you spend the whole night beating yourself up for being an absolute idiot.

“Yeah…”

You turn your hand until it’s palm up in his, curling your fingers around the back of his hand until they’re securely nestled together. “Maybe we should take a nap,”

He should say no. He’s not right to have you cuddled into his side with your head on his chest and your arms around his torso. It’s not fair on you for him to take advantage like that when you just see it as what’s essentially a sleepover between friends. Not when he’s thinking about you like he is.

“Yeah, I think I could use a nap right now…”

But when you look at him like that who is he to refuse you really?

—

James woke up with a groan, still groggy and covered in a thin film of sweat from the cocoon of heat that had developed underneath the quilt. He was supposed to sleep for an hour, maybe two if either of you were truly tired. But the sun had gone down and he could hear Peter’s snoring from across the room and Remus’ curtains were pulled and the sun definitely wasn’t coming up any time soon.

God knows he needed what he got though, he was starting to think he’d exhaust himself to the point of death.

As he shifted on the mattress, he was brought back to the both fortunate and unfortunate reality of the fact you we’re sleeping next to him, arm draped over his stomach with his arm underneath your head whist you slumbered away peacefully.

It took less than a few seconds for the tranquility of it to be ruined under the small voice in the back of his head that just had to ruin absolutely everything.

You were so pretty when you slept. Peaceful, unaware, like nothing could phase you under the blanket of rest you’d covered yourself with.

And it was making him feel so guilty. You were his friend, his best friend, and he was taking advantage of what you viewed to be a platonic relationship between two people because he just could not get his head right and stop thinking about you in a romantic fashion.

Was it really just platonic? He wasn’t sure anymore…

He stayed stationary for a few short moments, eyes gazing deftly over your sleep filled features and the feeling of your chest slowly rising and falling against his side until he was sure he couldn’t handle it anymore, and carefully slid his arm from underneath you so that he could move.

And then you shift, and he freezes.

Godric knows he didn’t need you waking up right now.

You don’t stir, thank god, but you do turn your body towards his in an unconscious effort to seek out the lost contact between the two of you.

James swears he almost melts at the sight.

“Just mates…” he whispers to himself, trying in vain to convince himself once more that the close relationship between the two of you was nothing more than pure platonic friendship.

There’s a sharp pang of guilt that pierces his heart as he carefully pries himself from you and watches as you try and chase after the contact in your sleep, but he knows that it’s for the best.

James takes one last quick glance at your sleeping figure before starting to quietly head towards the door, hoping and praying that you don’t wake up as he sneaks out of the dorm room.

You don’t for a good few minutes, but as the patch of heat that he’d left behind on the mattress turns cold, you find yourself blinking awake in the search of his absent warmth.

You don’t think much of his disappearance at first, he’d often get up to go to the bathroom or sneak off to the kitchens if he was hungry, but after ten—then fifteen—minutes of waiting, it’s more than clear that James didn’t have any intention of returning, so you quietly pad out of the boys’ dorm room to go in search of him.

It wasn’t very hard.

“James..?” You rub the corner of your eye with your knuckle as you descend the stairs to the main floor of the common room, where James was sat stationary on one of the sofas with his back to you. “Are you alright?”

The worry from earlier in the day immediately invades your mind again, and your eyebrows furrow in concern as you approach him, sleep slipping away with every step you take.

“Yeah,” He muttered in response to your question, not making any move to face you. “I’m fine.”

You don’t believe him.

“Why did you disappear..?” You take a seat next to him almost hesitantly.

The dip in the sofa from your added weight is enough incentive for James to finally move, and shifts to accommodate you beside him.

“I just.. needed to clear my head a bit, that’s all.” he shrugged, eyes almost absent as the continue to stare blankly towards the fireplace. “I didn’t want to wake you up either, so I just came to come down here for a bit.”

You let out a soft exhale at his intonation, reaching out to smooth a curl of hair from his eye with your fingers. “Are you really sure you’re okay?”

There’s a small, almost incomprehensible smile that etches it’s way on to James’ face at the gentle touch of your fingers, almost like a reflex, and just like a reflex the second he notices he’s doing it, it disappears.

“I’m fine I promise,” James gives a small sigh, nodding his head softly. “Just a lot going on in my head at the moment,” He continues to keep his gaze focused away from you, and it does not help in making you believe him. “What about you? You still look tired,”

“Yeah…” You tilt your head sideways until your temple is resting against James’ shoulder. “I’m okay…”

James is almost envious of how easily you lay your head on his shoulder, like it’s really no big deal.

As close friends, it shouldn’t be.

But it made his heart skip a beat and his throat dry up all the same.

He rested his arm over your shoulder cautiously, like his skin would burn at the contact, pads of his fingertips carefully sliding into the hair at your temple as he leaned his head back against the sofa with closed eyes in a failed attempt at looking relaxed.

“Come back to sleep?”

James bit his tongue.

In a way, his body wanted him to, as the comfort of you and the warmth of the bed were things that he craved at the moment.

His mind, however, was telling him differently. He couldn’t risk it. Not after the thoughts that he had been having.

“I can’t,” he responded softly.

“…Why not?” You blink up at him slowly, lifting your hand to trace arbitrary lines over his forearm to try and soothe whatever was rampaging his mind.

His mind was all over the place right now, but he couldn't allow himself to fall back into bed with you. Not when he was like this.

“I just can't,” he murmured for the second time, looking away from you once more.

“I can leave you to sleep by yourself,” You hand moves down towards his, giving it a small squeeze as you massage circles into his palm. “If that’s why you can’t sleep,”

You didn’t want to assume that you were the reason for his discomfort, but you also didn’t want him to stick it out if that was the case for your sake.

James sighed, his thoughts telling him to just give in and agree, as his body still wanted and craved your close presence.

His mind, however, had decided otherwise.

“It's not that-” He began to say, before stopping himself to redirect his response. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course James,” You bring your head up from his shoulder to give him a nod. “ Anything,”

James hung his head with a sigh, breathing in deeply before committing to his question.

“Have you ever wondered what it would be like if the two of us were… more than just friends?”

“I’m—” You blink non-commitaly. “—not sure what you mean,”

James looked over at you, your furrowed brow causing confusion in him for a second.

Did you really not know what he’d meant?

Or were you just feigning ignorance?

“You know very well what I mean,” he said softly, his mind beginning to wonder if maybe you weren’t as clueless as you were portraying right now. “You’ve had those thoughts before, haven’t you? About us being more than just… mates?”

“I—” What to say truly evades you as you stammer for a response, and you can’t even formulate a coherent sentence as you blink blankly at him.

James felt his breath falter a little bit at your hesitation, making him second guess what he’d just said and regret it almost immediately.

Was his mind just making him think of things that weren’t real? You really didn’t have any sort of thoughts like that whatsoever?

None?

None at all?

James decided to take a gamble with his next statement, praying to whatever god was listening that it would pay off.

“It’s been something I’ve thought about a lot lately…” He muttered his confession, trying to gauge if you were thinking the same things as him, or if he really was just going mad.

“…really?” Your voice is barely a whisper as you respond, throat drying up to the point where you feel like you’ve forgotten how to breathe.

“Yeah,” he confirmed, his voice a little bit more confident than it had been initially. “And, maybe it started off as just a little ‘what if’, but.. I can’t seem to get the thoughts out of my head anymore…” he trailed off slightly, hoping you would catch on to what he was hinting at.

“James…”

You’re not entirely sure how you should respond to that.

And not even because it was something you didn’t want to hear.

You’d just managed to dig yourself into such a deep pit of denial that you’d never even considered James having feelings for you that were anything more than platonic.

“…I’m not crazy for thinking about us like that…” He whispered, his voice catching just slightly as he waited for your response. “…am I?”

Your eyes flicker over James’ features as you dig through the folds of your brain to form a coherent response. But nothing comes.

And the longer you stay silent the more the hope in James’ eyes disappears and the more to have the indescribable urge to kiss all of his worries away.

So you do.

Incredibly impulsively.

The skin of his cheeks is soft underneath your palms as you pull your faces together, the curls covering his forehead brushing against you and the soft pressure of his lips against yours almost indescribable.

James’ eyes widen before they close, and you can almost physically feel all of the anxiety drain from him as he anchors his hands at your sides to return your efforts.

And for a moment it felt like everything was right with the world. Just how it should be.

“I think I might be in love with you…” You mutter the words against James’ lips only once you part for air, hands trembling ever so slightly against his cheeks as you rest your forehead against his in a mix of adrenaline and nervousness.

James swears his heart physically flips in his chest.

He takes a moment to respond, his head spinning from the kiss between you two.

“Good… because I’ve been in love with you for so goddamn long already…” he mumbled, brushing his thumb over your cheek.

The breathlessness of his voice urges a soft laugh from the back of your throat, and James can’t help but smile at the sound, like it’s his favourite thing to hear in the world.

James leans in close to you like you’re the most delicate thing in the world, gently pressing his lips to your forehead and just relishing in the fact that you’d both finally just admitted your true feelings. “So, does this mean we're not just mates anymore?” he teased, giving your waist a gentle squeeze.

“I don’t think we’ve been ‘just mates’ for a while James—” You lean your head into the crook of James’ neck with your arms over his shoulders in a hug, hiding yourself in the wake of your mild embarrassment.

James smiled and wrapped his arms around your waist, hugging you against him. “I’m so in love with you…” he whispered, the warmth that had been absent from his heart finally returning.

His heart felt lighter than it ever did before, and the warmth filled him from head to toe.

He leaned in close to you, holding you tightly yet gently in his arms. “I adore you, you know… I’m yours.” he admitted softly in your ear, his fingers tracing gentle circles on your back.

“I’ve always been yours James…”

James couldn’t help but laugh softly at your reply, his heart swelling with love for you. “You’ve always been mine?” He teased, gently rubbing his nose against your cheek with a smile. “Even when we were ‘just mates’?”

You let out a short laugh at the way he nuzzles his face against yours, scrunching up slightly. “Maybe I was just being optimistic,”

“Optimistic that one day, I’d fall head over heels crazy in love with you?” he replied with a smirk on his face.

“It worked didn’t it?” You give another laugh as you move to cup James’ face in your hand, and he leans into your touch like it’s second nature.

“I suppose it did, didn’t it?” He took hold of one of your wrists, slowly guiding your hand over to his lips where he planted a soft kiss on your palm. "You’re so beautiful..."

It’s nothing you haven’t heard before from him, but with the added knowledge of his romantic intentions it feels so much more intimate, and it leaves you horribly flustered to the point where you’re sure he can tell.

And the look on his face tells you he definitely can.

He had always found you beautiful—from the way you styled your hair to how pretty you looked first thing on a sunday morning dragging yourself to breakfast.

But now that he knew you were his, and his alone, the thought of letting you know how gorgeous you were made his heart flutter.

He wanted to lavish the girl of his dreams with compliments and affection in every way he could.

“I think we should head back to bed. I’m feeling a little tired again,” James mumbled softly in your ear.

He wanted to take you back to bed and hold you in his arms whilst he slept. To Hold you without any of the guilt or second-guessing. To hold you properly, like he’d always wanted to.

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea...”

James slowly released his grasp on you, taking a moment to admire just how gorgeous you were in the pale moonlight of the common room.

He took your hand in his, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles as he stood up from the sofa. “Come on,” he whispered, gently pulling you up from your seat, “Let’s get some sleep love,”

[radicaldreamer017]

They had lots of fun at that con. They were terribly cute too (still having that sweet chemistry even after 2 decades and not getting younger).

But i have « opinions » about their current vision of the ship.

Either I forgot how to do the « under the cut » thing or Tumblr axed it (never mind, the space does the trick).

I don’t think this is a very happy nor fair resolution for a long drawn out/slow burn forbidden romance (with its share of angst). Nor does it make sense if we are to believe the « friends with benefits » choice is completely genuine/honest from the characters.

To paraphrase halluJack (and Jacob) in Grace, they « deserve more ». Because they ARE more than a collection of repressed sexual fantasies. If Sam go visit Jack when she’s Earth side, it’s not because she hadn’t some in a while. It’s because he’s home to her and she’s not going to pass an opportunity to be with the man she loves and misses. Even if it’s much easier to pretend what they have is casual fun (I’ll touch on that later, because it actually fits them more than textbook, honest FWB).

Friends with benefits don’t have any romantic feelings for one another. That’s kinda the point. They’re not committed whatsoever. They don’t promise anything but an occasional fun time under the sheets. They’re non monogamous by nature (so there’s no jealousy… Sam was about to get married in s8 to another dude and she still got jealous and uncomfortable if she saw Jack having interest towards anyone else… even innocuous ogling… you really gonna convince me she would be totally fine with him possibly dating multiple other people later on ? No mixed feelings/a tiny bit of pain ? I don’t buy it). They were never going to be happily married (+ with kids at times) in several other realities/universes.

I don’t see the point of the ship existing at all in canon if that was going to be the conclusion. They were sexually frustrated and not really in love ? Then just say it early (heck, have them bone in an episode when that can be excused away like in Beneath the Surface or The Light and have them decide that… yep, it was just hormones after all… « Glad we cleared that up, sir/Carter. Feels good now that it’s done and behind us. Now we can move on with our personal lives and feel relaxed in our daily interactions ») and never build anything resembling « i’d rather die than lose you » romance between them later on ? Never introduce the notion of marriage (even if it was in alts) either.

I never felt drawn to seriously ship Sam with her other teammates because they knew to keep it platonic, even as she literally said « I love you » to Daniel when he was dying in Meridian. But things were different with Jack (as schizophrenic as their bond could look like at times considering the professional facade they have to display as officers… and depending on the writing’s consistency/quality).

Now, here’s the only way I can imagine the Friends with Benefits angle « working » without ruining/making the ship look shallow, pointless… and a tiny bit of a gigantic decades old prank on shippers.

Sam and Jack are scared of losing each other and therefore came up with another kind of denial.

S1/8 : can’t be together because of the rules and are scared to get hurt and lose each other if they make a change… so they pretend they’re nothing but coworkers, that the affection only comes from daddy issues (remember Jack warning Martouf to return Sam to him like a father would do to his daughter’s date ? yeah… that was all jokingly covering the real reason he’s uncomfortable with Martouf being alone with her… meanwhile, AT once likened Jack to Sam’s weird uncle back in the days just to deny any kind of romantic interest lmao… yeah), that the other doesn’t care anymore, that maybe the love was never real but a fantasy, a « failsafe » holding Sam back from true happiness (see Grace).

And now post s8 : now they have acknowledged they need each other, that they can’t move on from each other and dating other people just ended up hurting everyone. But their work situation is still an issue and they’re still scared of losing each other (maybe they always will). In between s8/9, there’s a bit of an opportunity and they begin sleeping together. And it’s fantastic. The intimacy (that they were never allowed to have as coworkers) makes them feel good. But everything around them (their schedule, Sam’s career being important for both of them, the universe) is too wild for a normal relationship, as loving as it is, to survive (poor Jack knows it much too well after Sara… how much time did they even spend together ? how much time did he have for his son ? and then he lost it all. Because of his own carelessness at that.). And there it is. The idea of another important relationship ending in failure and heartbreak terrify them. Especially because it’s them. They can’t live without each other. That will never change. So, what’s the better way to go around that ? Simply go into denial again. Or try. Pretend it’s just about the sex, really. So they can’t be hurt.

Not to mention they KNOW their alt selves who got married ended up killed. Both died in s1 and in s3, altSam was left a widow (and my headcanon wants to imagine she was pregnant too based on that infirmary scene, to me it makes her story’s ending feels more satisfying, more whole… it’s heartbreaking to raise a kid who will never know his dad… but it’s also comforting to have a reminder of him, a living proof of what they shared… like he’s still with her in a way… … …gonna fetch me a tissue 🥺). And Sam has that pesky Black Widow curse. 2 failed engagements.

It’s a lot.

So, yeah… Just Friends with Benefits. Even if it’s not really true. Sam has pictures of him in her personal belongings everywhere she goes. Jack holds on to stuff she leaves at his house with great sentimentality, like treasures. He probably has pictures too. When they’re together, « I love you » slips out quite a few times. And you know they share a meaningful look anytime it happens like « oops, busted… both of us ». They barely try casual dating other folks… and if they do, they think of each other. And sometimes, they’re probably sick of pretending but they still carry on because their lives, Sam’s life in particular is crazy and he will never hold her back. But when something bad happens to her, he worries, he despairs, he tries to come see her. That’s when the « lie » they built seems the most idiotic.

Then Cassie becomes a parent and make them grandparents and it shakes their illusion. And when Sam makes General and rejoins the SGC and Jack is retired, taking care of his grandchild/ren when Cassie needs it, picking a dog with Sam too… that’s when they finally realize they were never just friends with benefits. Just old fools who went through trauma before and were really scared of losing each other. And that maybe life had something good to give to them in the end, after all.

THAT… would be, actually ok. Even beautiful/emotional if it played out like this. I would read the fic 😳 (sadly i’m better at making fanarts… drawings or manip paintings).

This post sure ended on a more heartwarming/positive note, ahah. But yeah, i’ll never accept it if they start gaslighting us (for some reason) about the mutual feelings they shared in canon. Because we’re no idiots ? The show wasn’t perfect or consistent regarding them but STILL… « I remember feeling feelings. », « I’d rather die than lose Carter. », « I care about her more than I’m supposed to. », the happy marriage in alt universes (with tragic endings that only happened because the bad guys killed one or both of them)… I know those are mostly Jack quotes but because he cares this deeply, he would NEVER experience a relationship with Sam as casual. Even if the time they have is limited by their jobs (and his age sadly).

Amanda: I stayed exploring space. He stayed at the cabin. Every once in a while, I’d go to the cabin and “fish.”

RDA: And I never learned how to fish, so it was a perfect match.

Amanda (laughing): Yeah, I think that’s a perfect relationship.

Because of this exchange, I learned that the way to say friends with benefits in French is sexfriends 😂

[gonzo-rella]

Headcanons: Being The WWDITS Gang’s Asexual Vampire Friend

MASTERLIST | AO3 | KO-FI

Relationship(s): The What We Do in the Shadows Gang x asexual!gn!reader (platonic)

Warnings: Canon-typical sexual humour. (Let me know if I need to add any)

(A/N: If you’re reading this during Asexual Awareness Week, Happy Asexual Awareness Week. If not, I’ll give you a regular hello. I found out it’s Ace Awareness Week mere moments before starting this, so I decided to write something in celebration of the occasion. Of course, I love to represent my fellow aces year-round. If you ever have an ace!reader request- no matter the week- feel free to sent it in! Also, there’s more of a focus on a sex-neutral or sex-averse reader. Apologies to the sex-positive aces!)

At least one of them (by that, I mean Nadja, Laszlo or Nandor) tried to seduce you before they found out that you’re asexual.

Take your pick.

Despite their wounded pride and mild disappointment of you not being sexually attracted to them, they’d still be happy to be friends with you.

I feel like Guillermo and Colin would be the most understanding of asexuality.

Nadja, Laszlo and Nandor at least somewhat get it too- in their centuries on the Earth, they’ve met all different kinds of people, asexuals included.

But, if you’re an ace who doesn’t have sex, they do express pity you for not experiencing sex, something they all thoroughly enjoy.

Also, Nandor has definitely made some sort of comment about aspiring to your ‘strength and willpower’ for managing to go for so long without sex.

The guy genuinely thinks you possess the strength of a thousand average sized men.

Also, I’m sure at one point or another Laszlo has offered to ‘relieve you, if you’d like’.

It’s supposed to be a generous gesture of friendship.

Of course, Guillermo rolls his eyes whenever any of them make a comment of this nature.

Nandor, Nadja and Laszlo don’t really understand how one can live without experiencing sexual attraction.

They’re all respectful of your sexuality, though; it’s not a matter of them looking down on you.

Basically, they’re not aphobic; just comically sex-obsessed to the point of them having a slightly myopic worldview.

I can imagine that it’s somewhat difficult to fit into the vampire community when you’re not particularly interested in sex.

See: the Bi-Annual Vampire Orgy.

That said, if it’s a well-known fact in the community that you’re asexual, then I feel like most vampires would be understanding and considerate of it, because I said so, and the whole thing about some vampires having existed for so long that they’ve met plenty of different kinds of people.

Of course, you’re always welcome to attend the orgies for the food and social aspect of it.

I imagine that, if anyone does disrespect you, your boundaries, your sexuality etc., Nadja will be the most protective of you.

You can probably stand up for yourself, but she always has your back if you need it.

Overall, your vampire friends are accepting of you.

They won’t try to change you or convince you that you’re not who you are.

But, if you ever do change your mind on that shag, Laszlo’s always there.

[boldlyvoid]

Million Dollar Man | chapter two

18+

summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.

Content warnings: sugar daddy!spencer, age gaps (14 years), daddy kink, blow jobs, kissing, drinking mention, lowkey perv!Spencer, cum play, praise, oral (female receiving), grinding, love confessions, arrangements, Spencers anxiety, (more to add)

word count: 3.4K

a/n: updates on Wednesdays and saturdays at 2 pm est

Chapter Two | Masterlist

She sat on the subway with an anxious pit in her stomach and her purse held close to her chest. Her laptop in her bag, she didn’t want to lose it on her way to the most important meeting of her whole life.

Her story was becoming a book, she was almost done the final draft, they were making touch-ups to the cover and picking the type of paper today.

Her dreams were coming true within the next month, soon she’d have a physical copy of her book, her pre-sales were showing that she’d be on the bestseller list, and her name was finally going to be on the cover of this one.

She sighed and reached for her necklace, holding it between her fingers as she took a few deep breaths. She was doing so much better today than she was last year and it was all because of Spencer, he was the best thing to happen to her. To think she complimented his sweater vest and now he’s the only person in her life she can count on.

All she can think about is him for the rest of her journey, through 4 more stops she keeps her eyes closed as she thinks of all his little facts and his cute laugh. She smiles to herself and the anxiety slips away, she loves him and she knows that for sure, but she just doesn’t know how she loves him.

She’s never had a sibling, her best friends are all women, her previous boyfriends were all shit and her other sugar daddies were never this wonderful, and her parents are lesbians… she doesn’t know what her feelings really are for Spencer, mainly because she’s never known any other men to compare him to.

But she does know the exact moment she realized she fell for him.

He booked a hotel room in DC after a local case, asking her to meet him in there at 10 pm. She was waiting in the bathtub when he arrived, bubbles galore, her hair up and arms open, “welcome home, honey.”

He laughs, “you want me to get in there with you?”

She just nods, “let me take care of you, daddy?”

He takes off his blazer, pulls his tie off and starts to unbutton his shirt. She watches patiently as he gets undressed, and it’s not sexual to her. He’s her person, her best friend, the only human being she would ever share a moment like this with and that’s when it hits her.

She doesn’t accept it just yet.

It’s not until he’s lying on her chest, between her legs, cheek resting on her boobs as she runs a sponge over his back while he gives her a little run down on his terrible week. His co-worker almost died, his mom is stressing him out, the only good thing he has left is her and she knows that.

“And then I get to my moms facility and she’s had a really good day, she knows me and she knows all of my childhood again and she’s all right there in front of me and yet she’s so far away. I’m never going to get all the time I want with her and it’s really hard to accept.”

He shares things with her that he doesn’t even tell his therapist. Because his therapist doesn’t hold him like a child against her chest and tell him he’s okay when he get’s upset.

Y/N loves him, so she kisses his forehead, “I’m so sorry, I have 2 moms if you’d like to have one?”

“It’s okay, I would love to meet them sometime though,” he wraps his arms around her waist a little tighter under the water. “Thank you for tonight.”

“Did I mention my leg is 44 inches from hip to toe?” She asks in the middle of the silence, quoting pretty woman, knowing he hasn’t seen that far into the movie yet. “So basically we’re talking about 88 inches of therapy for the bargain price of $800 dollars a week.”

Her legs wrap around him and their naked bodies are closer than they’ve ever been and yet it’s completely platonic, “I’d spend a million dollars on you if it always meant feeling this good after.”

She runs her cheek along his wet hair as he snuggles into her neck, “mmm, I like the sound of that,” she teased. “My million dollar man.”

Her stop rolls around and she pulls herself out of her day dreams to get off the train and head to her meeting. She smiles as she walks through the station, up the stairs and onto the busy downtown streets when she gets a text with Spencers special chime. She opens it when she gets to where she’s going, safely inside and in the waiting room.

It makes her laugh in the waiting room. People look at her but she doesn’t care, he’s so special to her she feels butterflies in her stomach even when he’s not around.

“Y/N!” She hears her name being called by her editor, he’s over ecstatic as he comes running out to get her. “Come, come we have so many choices to make!” He jumps up and down as he holds her arm, like a child in a candy store.

“Andy, chill man,” she laughs at him and plays it cool, “It’s just the cover being finalized.”

“It’s our baby!” He teases back, pushing his glasses up and tugging her behind the glass doors of the office.

She’s surrounded by people and paper and huge versions of her book cover. She has a sharpie as she fixed mistakes and jots down final ideas. “And I wan’t Phil to look more human and less like data from Star Trek?”

“But Dorothy looks okay?” The artist asks, nervously and Y/N can tell.

“She looks beautiful! You really brought her justice,” she smiles, “really she looks the same in my head! It’s just Phil and I’m sure it’s tough getting a drawing to look like a robotic human, let alone human.”

“I have some ideas?” She opens up more, taking her iPad out and sliding it across the table, “I wanted to give him more of a Sophia feel? His face is silicone but his joints and everything are more like an Elon Musk crash dummy.”

“That’s perfect!” She’s shocked, “why didn’t that go in the first draft?”

“I was worried it was too much,” she’s a little older than Y/N, and yet her anxiety is that of a teenage girl. “I’m going to get working on the final, do you want some emailed versions tonight?”

“Yes please,” she smiles.

“So we’re done?” Andy asks, “we’ve made all our final calls?”

“I believe we have,” Y/N closes her laptop and takes her phone out, taking a photo of the final rough sketch of her book cover on the table to send to Spencer before he comes to pick her up. She can’t wait to see him now.

—

They’re sitting side by side in matching spa robes, he’s getting a pedicure while she gets her nails done. Leaning back in her chair with a face mask and cucumbers on her eyes, she’s never felt more relaxed in her life. And just in time too, her back was killing her from writing, her knuckles hurt and she just needed a break.

Spencer did too, he was genuinely not having a good time at work anymore, every case made him spiral and he always looked to Y/N on days like that. They met more than once a week now, she got $800 every Friday and she didn’t even really need it anymore. He was coving for so much of her bills and lively hood that her savings account was growing and growing because of him.

For the first time in her life she thought she would be okay if a man left her. As terrible as it was, as much as her moms tried to raise her differently, she fell down the daddy issues rabbit hole and she’s never going to find her way out— however, luckily for her, Spencer is down here too, and he brought a flashlight.

He understands her, more than anyone else on earth. He knows all her secrets, every crush and bad grade and snide remark she’s ever kept to herself. He didn’t judge her, he could actually listen to her issues and tell her why she had them. He gave better advice than a therapist and he was able to get information for her if he didn’t know the answer to what she was going through.

He’s absolutely everything to her and yet he’s 14 years older than her, he’s still traumatized beyond belief, he’s sad and ashamed and recovering… but he’s the best man in the whole world and she wishes he could see that. If he just looked at himself from her eyes, if he felt how she did in her soul when they were together, he’d love himself.

They’re too relaxed to drive home, and Spencer knew that would happen beforehand, bringing her a change of clothes (lingerie) and that robe me mentioned. He books a hotel above the spa and takes her to it. Arms linked as they enter the suite, she’s amazed to find more than one gift bag on the bed.

“How many gifts is this now?”

“We’re at 5 out of 24.”

She laughs as she wraps her arms around him in a thank you hug, “this is what you consider 4 gifts? Spencer there are like 8 things on the bed, let alone the massage and manicure?”

“If you think this is too much I guess you’re going to get really mad next week,” he teases as she looks up at him with a surprised look on her face.

“Spencer, I am so busy next week, I cannot be galavanting around with my sugar daddy,” she tries to act like she doesn’t want to go on an adventure with him again.

The last trip they took was the best week of her life. They went to all the historical sites in the UK that she and Spencer had talked about. Mainly old churches and castles, strange poets graves, random art and most importantly; stone henge. It was a trip of a lifetime and he took it with her.

“I watched the rest of Pretty Woman the other day,” he smiles, “and I thought I’d pull an Edward Lewis and really surprise you because you deserve it.”

“You know how the movie ends, right?” Her heart beats really fast in her chest and she wants him to love her so bad but it’s also terrifying now that she’s this close.

“He lets her choose,” he whispers.

“He rescues her,” she corrects him.

“And she rescues him right back,” he really did watch the end of the movie.

It makes her heart skip a beat as she swallows sharply, “what does this mean for us?”

“I have a whole plan, a whole sequence of events I want to stick to. I wanted to make you fall in love with me this week and ask you on your birthday, can we still do that?” He pleads with her, he’s so serious. He’s clearly put a lot of effort into this.

“Absolutely,” she smiles, “but if you’re going to make me wait that long for you to ask, you still can’t kiss me till then. No matter how much I already love you.”

“Really?” He’s so soft with her, she knows he’s not reacting to the teasing. He’s never had someone tell him they love him and then stay after.

“I would never lie to you about that, spence. I know what love means to you, I know how scared you are and I’m scared too. But I know there is no one else in the whole world I’d rather be scared with than you,” she holds him tighter and rubs her nose against his, “so what’s in the bags, daddy? Finish your surprise.”

She plays along perfectly, stepping back and hauling him towards the bed. “I got you some outfits and things for the next 2 weeks, we have a few things planned. We’re going on a flight soon, I have new luggage being delivered to your apartment this week and we’re going to see your moms for 3 days.”

“No,” she shakes her head, “there’s no way, Spencer, I haven’t seen them in 5 years, I’m going to cry.”

“I know,” he cups her jaw with his hand. “They’re really excited to see you.”

She hugs him tight, kissing his neck as she holds him. “Thank you, daddy, do you want me to put something on for you now?”

“I’m just going to take it off you, plus, what your wearing is sexy enough, he whispers back. “You’re always so beautiful, baby.”

“I thought you were saving the best for last?” She asks as she pulls back, overly eager and he can tell.

“I want to repay the favour from the other night.”

She doesn’t mean to gasp and yet she does, “please?”

He pulls on the tie of her robe, opening it enough to snake a hand behind her back and draw her in with a hand on her bare back. “Please what?”

“Please, daddy?” She looks up with her best begging eyes, perfect pout and all. “I want you to touch me, I promise I’ll be a good girl.”

He steps away from her to swipe all the bags off the bed before picking her up and laying her back against the pillows. He kisses down her body, hand on her lover back as she arches, he drags his bottom lip from her belly button to her cleavage. Nipping and sucking at the exposed skin on her chest, pulling her breasts out of the bra to suck on her nipples, she moans and it’s louder than she expected.

As she plays with his hair, he marks her, bruising small little love bites all the way down as he makes his way between her legs, “take me, please?”

He’s been dreaming of this for so long, he can’t even give you an accurate number of times his mind has drifted to the thought of how wonderful she would taste, how beautiful she’d sound…

“Tell me how badly you want me?” He asks as he spreads her legs and kisses her left thigh.

“I haven’t had sex in 10 months while waiting for you. Daddy, please you’ve owned me for so long, just take what’s yours already for gods sa- OH!”

With a broad lick, his tongue flattens against her core and it shuts her up. She gets what she wants, holding into his hair as she tosses her head back, taking it all in and enjoying it. He’s been on her mind for months, every time her vibrator was where he is now, she thought of him. he’s been the man of her dreams longer than she’s known him, and he was proving it.

“Right there, daddy,” she speaks through shallow breaths, “do you know how much I’ve thought of this?”

“You know I don’t,” the vibrations of his voice against her skin are glorious, he looks up at her through his lashes as his tongue flicks over her clit and she shakes a bit.

“Fuck,” she gasps, gripping his hair tighter, “better than I thought you’d be, fuck, too bad you— Jesus, don’t have the stash anymore…”

He stops and looks up at her, the smirk on his face glistening with her juices, “the stash?”

She nods, “I’ve thought about calling it the pussy tickler,” she teases, running her hand down his cheek and swiping her thumb across his bottom lip before bringing it up to her mouth to taste, “I want more of you.”

He kisses back up her body and she reaches for his robe the second he’s close enough. “Just grind against me? I know you’re waiting but we can still feel good together?”

He kisses the side of her mouth and she takes that as a yes, wrapping her legs around him so his hard cock is pressed right against her core as they move their hips in synchronicity with each other. His breathing is heavy as he kisses her cheek and jaw, her nails scratch down his back, he feels absolutely amazing against her.

She feels so empty, she wants him so bad she’s clenching around nothing as she squirms against his cock and wishes she was full.

“I wish I could move time,” she whispers. “Fuck, why can’t it be my birthday?”

He laughs against her, grazing his teeth over her neck and drawing another moan from her but then he stops moving his hips, “why are you so impatient?”

“Remember I said I stopped enjoying everything? Well, taking a 10 month break from sex and thinking about you every time I got off has made me desperate,” her hand cups his cheek, “I’d wait forever for you, but a girl needs to be fucked hard every once in a while.”

Only she could find a way to make something both profoundly beautiful and whorish at the same time, he loved her for it and she knew that now. He smiles and leaned in to rub his nose against hers and it takes everything in her not to kiss him. The same way it was taking everything in him not to slip into her as he began to grind against her once more.

She’s so close, the accidental edging has added a whole new level of desperation she’s never felt before. She wants to cum for him so bad, but more importantly she wants him to cum for her.

“Take my bra off,” she whispers, Spencer’s hands travel behind her back to unclasp it and he helps her out of it before tossing it to the floor.

“Cum for me daddy,” she whispers in his head with a hand in his hair, gripping him tightly as he bites at her neck, “cover me with your cum like you’re marking your territory.”

“Shit,” his hips sputter against hers.

“Say it, I know you want to,” she teases, so close to the edge but it’s too good of an opportunity. She loves seeing him fall apart like this and she can’t wait to see it again. “Who’s am I?”

“Daddy’s girl.”

He grinds down on her harder and faster and she’s so close, the bubble in her gut is reaching a fever pitch and with a gasp, she’s cumming and then she feels it. His load covers her stomach as he pants against her neck and grips her hips tighter as he comes down.

She wraps her arms around him and holds him as close as humanly possible, her breathing still heavy as he rises and falls on her chest. He’s heavy but she doesn’t care, she just kisses the top of his head and thanks him.

He brushes his nose against her neck, nuzzling her like a cat, “do you really mean it?”

“What, honey?” He remembers so much, this could be a question about something she said 2 months or 2 minutes ago and she has no clue.

“You’re not just playing along with my kinks right, you genuinely want to be mine?”

For being her million dollar man, his heart sure was broke. This is why he wasn’t ready, he still didn’t understand why she would want to stay without anything in return, he’s gotten so used to paying her for her time now that his anxiety has managed to convince him that she’ll leave when he stops being worth it to her.

“What does my necklace say?” She asks, knowing how close he was to it. “Read it to me, I forget.”

“Daddy’s girl,” he smiles again.

She soothes her hands over his back, “I would do anything with you because I love and trust you, but also because everything you do is sexy… you could read me the dictionary and I’d still want you to pump me full of cum after.”

“It sounds so crude after,” he laughs, “speaking of, we really need to have a shower.”

“I’ll wash your back if you wash mine?” She teases as he gets up.

“Only if you let me wash the front too?”

She smacks his bare ass and races him into the bathroom, turning on the water and getting in with him while still laughing and carrying on. He’s her best friend in the whole world, there’s no one else she would rather do this with… there was no one she has done this with. No one has made her feel this good, before during and after sex.

Spencer Reid was an anomaly, but he was hers.

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Sugar daddy fic (Some tags didn't work)

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[literate-simp]

BEING BESTIES W/ SOME JJK CHARACTERS; Yuuji, Megumi, Nobara, Gojou and Sukuna.

Notes: Look. I know we all simp terribly for our husbandos/waifus but I just wanted to write a simple hc about what it's like to be their besties

Warning(s): slight cursing. I indulged too much on Sukuna.

Includes: gn! reader, fluff, chaotic energy, mentions of romance (just light)

Itadori Yuji

He's friends with everyone, says hi to strangers and probably would be besties with every old lady he meets so it wasn't hard to be friends with him.

But the second he becomes besties with you, shit's gonna get borderline chaotic.

3AM and y'all can't sleep? McDonald's parking lot with an abandoned shopping car would sound damned fine. You both remember the moment as 'Chicken Nuggies and the Wind' since he t-posed on the moving cart whilst eating nuggies (you both almost scratched a Ferari).

If you weren't a jujutsu sorcerer in training, he'd still try to sneak you in his room to watch some movies. You with the snacks, leaving Yuji in charge of the movie picking (you can't decide to save your life)

Cuddles! Nothing wrong with besties cuddling. He's extremely respectful to your s/o (if you have one) and are probably good friends with them too!

Though the second you come to him crying, they were already being patched up in the hospital. Won't hit a woman, against his morals, but he will make sure she never speaks to you again.

Understanding, chaotic besties! An arm around your shoulder when someone's obviously making you uncomfortable, he's the one barking when he sees someone slip something into your drink.

The friend to help you find your way out of a frat house. Makes sure you're getting touched with your consent and sober. All you need to do is give him a sign that you're alright and he'll give you a thumbs up before leaving.

Definitely the friend you'd open up to (about anything) and not be treated differently after so.

You told him about your problems a few minutes prior. It was quiet, a bit too quiet. And you were worried he might leave you for it.

"Ey, Y/N. Wanna go to McDonald's again? I think they have that burger you like," He blurts, catching you off guard. You raise your eyebrows before smiling gratefully.

"Sounds great, Itadori."

You guys talk about women with butts all the time. Not out of thirst or anything, it would just be a random thought that comes up and one of you would contribute to the other. You once mentioned something about Jennifer Lawrence and he would not stop talkinf about her. It was hilarious how much he was drooling.

You wear his hoodies and he's fine with it. Thinks you look good in them. Sukuna teases you both about your relationship and Yuji slaps his mouth shut before he says anything more.

"You look great in them, Y/N," Itadori grins, rummaging through his closet to find more hoodies.

"Thank you. They're pretty comfy," You mention the fabric and the fluffiness. He listens to you intently before Sukuna pops out from his cheek.

"Ehhh? This is the one you think about everyday--," Itadori has never slapped his cheek so hard before in his life.

Megumi Fushiguro

Honestly, pretty chill dude.

He has a small group of people he trusts, and a smaller one to which he considers to be his good friends.

So to be his best friend, you must've gained a huge amount of respect from him; saved him, maybe even overheard something you shouldn't have and kept quiet about it on your own accord.

You would have a 'you aren't comfortable with it, so I'm not forcing anything' vibe to which he would be relieved to know. Though even so, you are the more hyper one in the platonic relationship.

Outings would consist of trips to libraries or quiet nights on the couch with your legs entangled together with lo-fi music playing in the background.

Not much talking, Megumi likes to keep to himself and you have no problem with the comfortable silence you both bring together.

Though sometimes it gets too quiet so you annoy the hell out of him to get his attention; cheek poking, soft arm punches, slight pushing.

Megumi ignores this, finding your actions a bit cute. If it gets too annoying, he will get up and leave, having you trail behind him, whining like a child wanting candy.

Yuji would join in. Definitely. Nobara too if she was bored enough.

"Megumi~ I want your attention~," You whine, running after the raven-haired man.

"Yeah! Yeah! Pay attention to Y/N!" Yuji supports you. You clap your hands together, only to be hit with a shoe by Megumi.

He would never do anything outside of your comfort zone. If you had an s/o, they both would be neutral with each other.

If you were to get hurt from said s/o, they would leave your house with a bloody knuckle. He wouldn't hit a girl, but he definitely will destroy whatever life she has outside of your relationship with her.

Parties are a no-go for him, unless his friends force him to. He's the designated driver with three other drunk children (Hint; Yuuji, Nobara and you). He wouldn't carry anyone else but you back to your room.

"Jeez, Y/N. You should know how to handle your alcohol," Megumi sighs, laying you on top of your bed gently and pulling the covers up.

"Nngh. Didn't know it was alcohol," You groaned. He smiles, patting your cheek before getting up to leave.

"I'll get you some painkillers in the morning, alright?"

You can wear his sweatshirts if you annoy him about it (he secretly likes how comfortable you are around him). He thinks you look charming in them, Yuji never shuts up about your friendship. It's the few times he's seen Megumi genuinely smile.

Nobara Kugisaki

Radiates bad bitch energy.

It isn't easy in the first stages since she has standards with friends but the second you both find something similar about each other, it's an immediate ride-or-die friendship.

You would need a major backbone, 'I'm too hot for this bs' kinda vibe (it's canon that the reader is a bad bitch, periodt). You would have arguments with her but it's pretty basic stuff like the perfect colour for nailpolish or whether Maki deserves the Earth or the universe (you both agree it's the universe).

Outings consists of shopping malls and popular cafes. You take selfies everytime you see something relatively new.

Talk about anything under the sun -- newest trends, new food to try out, Maki -- but her favourites are hearing you talk about your day. If you weren't a jujutsu sorcerer, she'd visit your apartment, give you a hug and sit on the couch to listen to you blabber away about something that isn't related to curses or death. She needs time to rewind and you never mention how vulnerable she looks when she's tired.

"Uh-huh and what happens next?" Nobara asked, carressing your hair as you lay on her lap.

"He wouldn't stop following us! It was so creepy! No means no right? Like why would you waste your energy following a group of friends who aren't interested?" You ranted on. Nobara simply nods in agreement, smiling at your annoyed face.

She doesn't mind your s/o, probably would just say hi before leaving you two alone. She doesn't have a problem about her friends having a relationship, she does, however, gets pissed that she isn't in one.

If you come to her crying about them, she would slither in some 'fuckin told you they were gonna do it' or 'I told you so'. Though it makes you upset, you know she's gonna trash their house the second you leave the room.

Your (now) ex would suddenly be cancelled beyond belief, you wouldn't know what happened to them.

Despite the bad bitch personality, you are the more patient one.

Parties is a yes. She comes in as a self-confident woman and will leave self-confident and drunk. She's the life of the party and pulls you into conversations to keep you company. Even if you don't contribute much to the conversation, she makes sure you aren't out of her sight. She's not the type to bring a friend to a party and leave them the second after. She cares about you even if her way of showing was a bit too pushy.

You share clothes with her and she'll give you comments about it.

"The shirt doesn't fit. No, no. The other one. Yeah, that one."

"Who cares if people say you aren't supposed to wear skirts? Your ass rocks better in those than mine. Just take them."

Personally likes dressing you up, doesn't like dressing you up for dates though. Still doesn't know why.

Gojou Satoru

God, the willpower you have to even tolerate this man is immense.

It's not hard to be his friend, all you have to do is do something that amuses him and he'll keep teasing you about it.

In this platonic relationship, you're the more calm one. People call you to take care of Gojou constantly, and you're the only one he allows to scold him.

He goes for missions half the time so it's rare to see you both go for outings. The most you've been together outside of Jujustu Tech and work hours was in a bar with Nanami (you both bond over the fact that Gojou is terrible to work with). He got too drunk and started slurring his words.

"Y/N~ stohp flirting with Nanamin and talk to meee," He whines, pinching your cheeks as you sigh.

"We are simply talking about your bad work habits, Satoru," Nanami answers whilst shaking his head, downing another drink before he gets up to leave. "I'll take him home, rest well Y/N."

"Noooo, I want Y/N!"

A needy best friend. Constantly asks for attention. If you ignored him, he would only make the situation slightly more annoying -- similar to Megumi's Y/N, the basic cheek poking and whining.

Your s/o would probably hate him, he's a bit too flirty and likes to hug you in public. People mistake you both for a couple rather than the s/o at hand. Don't be surprised if it's the main reason your relationships don't end well.

If you come to him upset because of them, he wouldn't waste a second to zoom to your shared apartment and 'deal' with the person. Would come back with a smile and some takoyaki. No blood on him since he used his infinity.

Parties are alright with him. He's the cool flirty dude everyone seems to fawn over. Would accompany you for half an hour, only to leave with another chick to a nearby bedroom. You never end up partying with him after opening the God forsaken door and he's never stopped trying to make it up to you.

Other than the traumatic event, he'd a bit of a douche but still tries to look for you in the crowd. He waves once he sees you and flashes a reassuring smile before continuing his talk with the others.

You don't share clothes with him simply because it's Gojou. Who knows when the last time he washed his clothes.

Though he's willing to share. You're just more reluctant, really. Finds it cute when his shirts are slightly bigger than you. If you're built bigger than he is, he would like how tight it looks on your body.

"Starting to think you look better in my clothes than I am. And that's a pretty good compliment." He grins.

Hates the fact you never take his compliments seriously. Says it from the bottom of his heart, he really thinks you're charming.

Ryomen Sukuna

God, was it hard trying to befriend this curse of a man. An asshole, he stuck his feet out to trip you over multiple times before cackling like a damned demon (which he is).

Though you're always genuine with him. You liked having conversations with him and listen to him boast about himself for hours. Guess that's when he saw you as a close acquaintance.

Would never tell you you're his best friend. Never. Not once. Him simply acknowledging you was enough for everyone to know he favored one person.

Being friends with Sukuna meant being friends Yuji. Itadori always apologizes on his behalf and you would always laugh, telling him it's alright. Sukuna gets annoyed by this though.

"Stupid human. Who do you think you are being all mush with this useless vessel of mine?" He sneered the second he could pop out. You shrugged, taking some popcorn to feed him.

"He's a pretty good guy. You should cut him some slack," You answered, stuffing some popcorn to your face as well

Will constantly threaten to kill you but you never paid heed. You know you're his only friend. You don't agree with his actions but you find the curse interesting.

Literally the only person who's allowed to tease him. You get away with things most curses would get killed from. You once hand him super hot sauce for his pancakes and he glared at you for the remainder of his time being conscious in Yuji's body. You found the plate broken with a fork stabbed through it.

You aren't allowed to go on outings with Sukuna (obviously) so you both spend your time within Yuji's room. Not allowed to go out since everyone'll freak out seeing Yuji with tattoos resembling the King of Curses.

"Humans are so boring," Sukuna groaned, his head on the bedstand. "All they do is just sit around doing nothing but scroll through their stupid boxes." You smiled at him.

"Not my fault you commit mass genocide for fun. I'd say we're pretty passive."

He would literally never care about your love life. Still has the old man mentality that romance meant sex and that was about it. If they were to meet, the curse would just roll his eyes and turn the other way.

Getting hurt by your s/o results to hurtful teasing and bloodshed. No in-between, no nothing. He wouldn't know how to comfort you properly so he'd send Yuji in his place. Would sit at the back of Yuji's mind getting pissed that he was hugging and rubbing your back gently as if he couldn't have done it himself (literally sent Yuji only to judge him).

Not allowed to go out so parties is also a no-go BUT since this is just a headcanon, let's imagine it's college AU.

College AU Sukuna would love parties -- he throws them, orders his friends to invite hot girls and frat guys. And invites you himself. No one would know you were friends since he never mentions it but will literally choke anyone who looks at you like you're a piece of candy.

Gets way too drunk and probably have railed 3 people to cloud 9 in a matter of 2 hours but still go out just to check up on you. He doesn't necessarily care but he hates having the sick feeling that you were in possible danger somewhere he wouldn't be able to see you.

Stare at you for a good 3 seconds before leaving you alone. You'd never know he was there.

Clothes! His clothes are Yuji's and he barely even keeps his shirts in tact. Does he care whether you wear it or not? No.

Is he pissed? Slightly.

This took me two days, I'm not sure if it sounds canon anymore. Anyways, thank you for reading!

♡︎ literate-simp

[wri0thesley]

I’ve been sitting in these for like a week and a half trying to figure out the non cringey way to express my poly sorlato thoughts but I keep trying to write an actual story each time— so hi these are just a messy word vomit style of poly sorlato thoughts, these are written with y/n as a trans man who’s kinda recently started on hrt & this is is his first relationship so kinda fun things with exploring that c:

also be noted that this mainly starts as a Polyamorous V type relationship, Gelato has two hands, one for Sorbet & the other one is for y/n. But I do have further thoughts on how it’d eventually turn into a Poly Triad down the long road.

———

This whole thing started with me thinking about Gelato a little to much & how I think he’s the kinda guy to catch feelings but struggle with being able to differentiate between what’s the “platonic” flirting you do with friends vs having actual feelings for someone kinda flirting. So normally that wouldn’t be a problem y’know, he has Sorbet & he’s very content with that— not saying they don’t trick some poor soul into a “fun” one time thing before disregarding that person rather brutally, but y’know never anything serious.

But get this!!! Little ding dong meets this scruffy lookin’ short but chubby man who looks like he’s five minutes away from crying— like this man’s kinda a mess tbh & something just kinda ignites in Gelatos head that “ hey that’s a friend right there if I’ve ever seen one!” So he just kind of integrates himself into this guys life, he learns that his name is y/n that & that hes coming back to live in Italy after having a one time exchange student program he did as a teen.

So there’s a lot more but I’ll get waay to into so I’m gonna skip it for now lemme know if you want more I’ll come back lol

Anyways!! This starts up a surprisingly decent friendship with these two unlikely people, now y/n’s the kinda man who struggles with being able to tell the difference in feelings an emotions, it’s like do I actually have real feelings for this person or am I just kinda nervous they’re the kinda man I want to be. Him and Gelato are kinda the same in that way but not fully y’know. So boy oh boy can you imagine the turmoil these two have separately after comin to the realization that they both have genuine feelings for one another. Dumbass don’t even know notice either lmao—

like y/n’s over here thinking that Gelatos like this with every person, that he’s just so bouncy an talkative and really invested in what he actually has to say right? He’s even being really touchy and will let y/n hang off of him. While Gelatos over here thinking that y/n’s actually really hyper active guy, that he’s super affectionate & yet somehow very down to earth. He’s just he’s great they fit on the same wave length y’know??? I mean it’s kinda true for them but not really this is an example of them both— I don’t want to say flirting but that’s the closest I can get ???— with one another. Like they are like in a way like what they’re presenting to one another but it’s very much catered to “ hey you’re my person so I feel comfortable being this way with you cause I don’t have to worry about putting you off.”

If that makes sense??? I am unsure— but anyone who knows either of them well will know that somethings up because they are not just like that™️ with anyone. Sorbet bless his fucking heart is so confused and a little jealous watching this kinda thing unfold with Gealto & y/n. Because he knows, he knows what Gelato is like in every sense because they’ve been together so long like it’s knowing the back of your hand. Like this is definitely not one of those thrill & kill moments it’s so much more then tbat so ofc he brings it up one night to Gelato who still doesn’t even notice he’s doing this bless his manic heart & he’s just fucking gutted about this. Like I can’t explain how in my head he processes this but it’s a lot & he eventually like distances himself from y/n an becomes suuper clingy to Sorbet among other promises of if Sorbet wishes he can & will dispose of this threat to them.

But while the idea does crosses Sorbets mind & he does know Gelato would without hesitatation go through with whatever plans he had for this y/n guy, he can see it in his eyes & in this very subtle way that Sorbet knows that doing so would truly like devastate Gelato. So ofc Sorbet who to anyone else they’d consider a ruthless & unmoving man, is incredibly tender within these few weeks this is going on with Gelato because while it does hurt in a way he just simply adores Gelato to much not to talk about this.

Sorbet & y/n sorry forgot to add do know of one another like it wasn’t ever a secret hshsbs— but they don’t interact a whole lot mostly because y/n is fuckin scared of the guy like “ oh this dude will definitely eat me alive if I talk to him” & he would be correct normally but it’s actually Sorbet who along with Gelato who uncharacteristically is clinging onto Sorbet with the like the most bashful look on his face as he kinda peeking around the taller of the twos shoulder, it’s actually quite adorable— or would be if y/n wasn’t currently panicking after being called over by Sorbet like he’s just got these thoughts of “ oh no oh god!! He found out I have feelings for Gelato & he thinks I was trying to be a homewrecker— I’m not a home wrecker I swear”

Like you have to also think about this from y/n’s point of view cause at some point it was brought up to him by a friend of his that he clearly had feelings for Gelato & it’s just again pure turmoil cause— as I stated earlier in the like “mentions” y/n’s still kinda “new” to the hormones & he’s just got to the point he’s starting to look more masculine but he can & is still easily misgender which has a whole other set of issues I will skip over. But then suddenly you have this guy like Gelato, right who in his mind is a real man’s man

— that I can’t for the life of me cannot explain why i have this opinion, y’know so you have this “real” man just like readily accept you as you are even when so many cannot do so, hell sometimes you yourself struggle feeling like you’re actually a man cause of ✨issues✨ but you have this man like Gelato who sees you, like actually sees you & never once tells you that you’re wrong or “ just confused” hell he even fucking punched someone cause they misgendered you on purpose to hurt your feelings.

How can y/n not have some form of infatuation but then it gets even more messy because one he’s not only taken & y/n isn’t a fucking home wrecker he couldn’t ever do that, but two the more he actually hung around Gelato the feelings turned into something real & it scared him— god it’s so scary to have feelings for someone especially if you’ve hardly had these kinds of thoughts or feelings before.

Then Gelato just goes radio silent for a few weeks, like i wanna say at least 2 maybe y’know & you cant help but wonder where you massively dropped the ball— cause he can handle the having unrequited feelings right ?? Like y/n can deal with that it hurts sure but that’s fine, but losing that kinda friendship that felt so easy and freeing only to just be ripped away kinda stung y’know. Was it him? Did he make the other man uncomfortable with being so obnoxious should he have been more quiet? Was he to needy just !!!! So many thoughts y’know.

But reeling back in sorry got off the rails a bit—

Now you have the guy who you still have feelings for with his actual partner calling you over & has previously said Sorbet is a frightening man & poor y/n is a jittery ball of nerves like hooo it’s so unsafe rn guys you cannot believe—but then but then!!! He’s even more shocked when Sorbet, with Gelato still cling-peeking around him looking those big pretty earthy eyes gazing at with the meekest expression y/n’s ever seen, just asks him if he would be comfortable with a Polyamorous relationship & if he’d be willing to talk about it somewhere more private because this is a semi public area they called out to the terrified man at.

Now.. now y/n probably in his head was like “ this has to be a trick. they’re getting me to a second location to kill me because im a disgusting disgrace of a person who encroached on their relationship/etc etc ” but instead he agrees and asks when and where he should meet them up at. Cause listen hes a young dumb man who is sooo easily swayed by his feelings & just looking at Gelato like that stirred something in him that he ignored the lowkey danger gut feeling he had. It’s just so unlike the man he knew for like months prior to the awol few weeks— I can’t sorry I’m not v good at explaining things but just trust me this was something y/n was willing to see out even if he did end up getting hurt

So uh well surprise !! He didn’t get hurt, in fact he’s completely intact an currently screaming into his pillow at home like a little school girl because god that was nerve wrecking but now he has his first ever boyfriend. He’s dated a tiny bit in highschool with a few girls but they didn’t either last long or it was to long distance that it just didn’t work out. Which is ok with him but this is something completely different & new an omg he can’t believe it.

So how the whole thing goes down is they meet at this one area, the three of them I should add & say what you want but Sorbet is Gelatos rock he is something he finds safety in & like I know he’s a deranged murderer but he’s so much more then that & he is also a ball of jittery unchecked energy. So Sorbets there for morale support because he’s a good partner & no matter how like awkward this is he would never let Gelato down— but also he can scope out this y/n guy up close & probably lowkey ingrain in his head that if anything were to happen to Gelato no matter the circumstances he will get him. Not that he has too tho!!! Y/n’s very much aware of this lmao.

my god this turned out really long & I’m still going I’m so sorry j0succ I’ll shut up eventually this is all like just the beginning info, like god I have soo much brain rot on this !!!! Ok moving on sorry struggling to focus aha

But it basically boils down to them meeting up at this not super secluded but not many people really go to this area of a park, it’s just very pretty & kinda scenic just it’s really nice to sit an talk without having to feel like you have to put on that overly stuff act you do when you feel like you have to preform y’know? Gelato & y/n do most of the talking & I just again I can’t express how like genuine an bare this encounter is between them. From y/n having this be completely & utterly new to him to Gelato & while he is older an has done alt more with his life this is also new to him. It’s scary but so exciting at the same time from different perspectives— just yeah very bare and honest. Y/n even brings Sorbet into this also, because y/n’s the kind of man who values honesty even if you don’t want to admit it to it, it’s something that’s very important to him.

Communication is key along with that so & this is one of the very first times Sorbet finds himself lowkey admiring the trembling young man— he tells him something along the lines of “ While I know & understand that we are not dating, i want you to know that if I do something that makes you feel uncomfortable or like I am overstepping into your guys relationship please tell me. I cannot read minds & I don’t want to cause… issues y’know with you guys” honestly it was worded way better in my head but it’s been week ago since then & now it’s gone from my head but it’s like “ we are not dating, I know this but you’re still intertwined in this & we will be seeing one another a lot more I assume — I don’t want overstep with you two & you’re thing, but I also don’t want you to feel like you can’t tell me to back off” etc etc & Sorbet can’t help but feel like “ ok this guy isn’t too bad but I’m still kinda ehh about it” if that makes any sense!!!! Anyways there’s alot more talking & discussing how this works out y’know gotta set boundaries an all of that fun stuff that—I apologize once again has just like has been lost I have moved onto over mushy stuff but I feel like all of this is important to know before getting into that.

After all of that!!!!! The actual dating between y/n & Gelato is really rather sweet as these two start to navigate this brand new thing. As I said Gelato has a whole lot more under his metaphorical belt then y/n does but that’s to be expected he is in like his mid 30’s y’know & y/n I have in my head like 25– so like yeah. But there’s something about this adorable young man who looks at him as if he’s the most endearing an thrilling thing but also always looks so nervous for, & in Gealtos mind, no reason to be the is way that he has to remember that this is new new for him. & he’s worth it but we all know Gelato the man’s not only a wild card & overly affectionate, he can be a lot for someone like y/n. It’s ok tho! Gelato is making the effort and taking his time to move through this & make it a positive experience.

Y/n also is working on this but from a whole other different ball park, he has to get used to having someone look at him so passionately & be so unabashedly into him. It’s weird & strange but god is it so nice all at once. Y/n’s still trying to navigate the fun thing that’s finally being out out & trying to navigate an actual romance cause we all know highschool dating is normally a lot different from dating in your mid 20’s y’know— or at least it should be but hhh people are just weird & yucky at times— but the gist for y/n’s there’s the added pressure of the previous stated but also overcoming his own issues that aren’t related to gender or relationship but it’s just his own problems that come with being a person in your mid 20’s finding yourself etc etc etc.

But it works out tho & it’s just it’s very good relationship, I mean of course there are bumps in the road as they navigate this ofc I mean what relationship doesn’t have issues or y’know shit that comes up. It’s very important to me that I stress that this is a healthy relationship no matter the problem things are worked out. Like I just— I don’t know man lmao.

———-

For all of our sakes!!! I will be stopping here because my brain has turned to mush & I can no longer focus as you can tell probably—- again I’m so sorry this is long & just a giant mess I can’t write well— but god do I have sooo many thoughts on how these two relationship works out & things that they do together it’s just it has consumed me wholly so uhhh yes I may be back with more if I haven’t annoyed you yet.

Thank you so much for letting me submit this j0succ 🥰🥰🥰 I hope it’s readable & not to like difficult to follow— words from my head to being written down a lot gets uhh like lost into the void. Also!!!! I really hope your theatre trip went well~!! It sounds really fun c: have a lovely evening 💘💘

[jypbae7]

Could you do a breakdown natal chart for Kun from Wayv?

QIAN KUN - NATAL CHART

Kun was one the most requested I got which was a pleasant surprise!!❤️❤️

(Not claiming to be an expert this is just for fun please don’t take anything too seriously!) Hope this is helpful and that you enjoy it 🥰❤️

Personality: Capricorn Sun, Leo Rising, Taurus Moon, Capricorn Mercury, Capricorn Mars

Clearly a LOT of Earth sign placements but nicely broken up by the fire sign rising

Capricorn Sun has serious and long term plans for the kind of future they want for themselves and once they set out for it they seldom give up. Stubborn to a fault, but also consistent enough to actually persevere. They want the perfect job, reputation, partner, house, family, etc.

Leo rising is a bright, warm and outgoing personality. Lots of energy, creativity and flair. They enjoy having a strong core of friends that they feel understand and enhance their experience and effect on the world. Leo’s are known for being hardworking and as a fixed sign it offers a lot of consistency and determination. They are extremely devoted and loyal once they develop a bond and trust with someone. Though the passion can fizzle out quickly if they aren’t feeling the kind of attention and passion they want.

Taurus Moon is a very grounded person with more social charisma and approachability than Capricorns are known for. They also have a tendency to like bold styles, they have big dreams and goals and you’ll be surprised at how well they can attain them if they’re focused enough (Kun is a Capricorn Stellium so yes this boy KNOWS how to get shit done when it needs to be done) Taurus is also a fixed sign which along with the stubbornness everyone knows about also comes with patience and consistency making them really good leaders when added with their natural friendliness and perseverance

Capricorn Mercury indicates a strong preference for structure, somebody who tends to follow rules and feels uncomfortable breaking them. They tend to have authoritative energy and demeanor. Big ambitions and determination to succeed and excel in their chosen career. Spend more time thinking than they show with a generally very logical mind which can sometimes lead to a black & white perspective

Capricorn Mars - responsible, organized, secretly a thrill seeker, can come off as aloof or guarded when they are around new people or people who they really want to make a good impression on.

Relationships:

Non-Romantic Relationships: Capricorn Sun, Taurus Moon, Leo Rising, Capricorn Mercury, Capricorn Mars

Trustworthy and dependable - the “dad” of the friend group who everyone calls when they have something serious to deal with

Platonic love languages: acts of service and quality time - he loves spending time with people with shared interests especially music. Also loves going out to different places such as different trendy cafes, movie theaters, museums - you name it.

Likes other thrill seekers who push and motivate him to get out of his comfort zone

Sense of humor is a lot more childlike and playful than one would expect from his serious and strict side

Capricorn energy is NOT to be crossed or messed with. These are the ones who are calm af and calculated when angry - this is when you know you are screwed. When Capricorn is calm and collected while enraged, ohhh boy, do they figure out ways to hurt you in the smoothest and most effective ways without so much as lifting their finger. Spare yourself the trauma and DO NOT LIE to him no matter what.

Romantic relationships and preferences : Aquarius Venus, Capricorn Mars, Capricorn Juno, Aries Eros

Aquarius Venus is outgoing, friendly and charismatic. They are attracted to interesting and unique people who stand out of the crowd. They like bold and spontaneous gestures and they will do them back for their partner as well.

Aquarians also dislike overly clingy/needy partners which Capricorn also isn’t a fan of either. These signs are all about independence, individuality, personal expression and achievement. Meaning that while they do yearn for a partner (especially Capricorn placements) they want a partner who is self sufficient and independent with their own hobbies, careers, dreams, goals, etc.

Capricorn Juno implies they’ll be a tough to nail down for very long because Capricorn wants only the best of everything and they’re always busy trying to excel at things and scoping out their options. So you’ll have to prove your worth to them before they are willing to commit because once they do it’s for the long haul

Capricorn likes natural ethereal beauty while Aquarius likes the bold - my guess is healthy mix of both. Natural looking and soft featured with some bold/unique traits like bright/bold hair or fashion style, a bit of spice/sass here and there is another secret pleasure

Be prepared for endless serenades and songs made and sent to you like love letters - whether he’s singing or composing a warm ethereal instrumental for you, his whole heart is in it

Love languages (most to least) - words of affirmation, gift giving, physical touch and quality time

Words of affirmation makes him feel really wanted and needed, he’s also really really good at giving it out to people he loves so if he’s doing it one sidedly it would hurt him and make him feel insecure.

Gives either unbelievably beautiful luxe gifts or unique/fun gifts and loves to surprise his partner with them often especially after time apart

Capricorns HATE wasting time they are hyper aware of how many hours in a day and how much can be done in a day. So, if he’s spending a lot of time with you, you’re very very special and important to him and he prioritizes this time very highly

Star gazing dates, beach dates, camping trips - this man will go out of his way to make sure every date is an experience. He is PREPARED, he has an itinerary in his mind, he’s looked up the travel routes and picked the best one. When you go camping he will FLEX with his efficiency and ability to handle the labor heavy tasks. This man will purposely wait till you’re looking to start chopping wood (not that ANYONE is complaining), put the tent up and have it filled with blankets and pillows galore in 2.00034 seconds because he practiced in the dorm living room with the others like a drill routine. (Lucas taught him how to chop the wood & still look hot while doing it)

Is the MOST polite and endearing person to your family and friends. Goes above and beyond to be the perfect partner around your family and they are unable not to LOVE him. Is especially soft and doting of any children or elderly relatives. And none of it is phony at all, he doesn’t know anyway else to even think. Respect, manners, and family are extremely important to Earth signs. They���ll probably end up liking him more than you but honestly you can’t even blame them

(None of y’all ungrateful people better ever slack on Zaddy Kun’s visuals ever again!! If I don’t get to see his happy trail during 2021 I’m burning the SM building down once and for all)

18+ Preferences:

Aries Eros ooof - passionate, possessive and steamy. Pick their partners off instinct and energy - once they really like you they become infatuated and want to STAY that way. If it’s not the “I need you so fucking bad I’m gonna lose my mind” type of love they DON’T want it.

Leo Rising is a possessive as fuck placement thankfully when they get riled up or jealous they have the confidence not to get angry with you or insecure about it. BUT.... you‘ll still be awakening a whole new type of beast and quite frankly he will let you know that it’s all your fault as he holds you down and uses you like the stupid toy you are till you remember who you belong to

If he sees you doing anything even remotely domestic his Taurus Moon and Capricorn Juno will have his mind go from soft and warm thoughts to bending you over the kitchen counter and taking you right there without a care or second thought spared

Positions where he feels in in control are his favorite - he likes being on top of you, behind you and if he can pick you up and carry you while ramming into you best believe he will.

His favorite is position is missionary - likes to feel big and dominant he also wants to be able to see as much of you as possible and kissing you as much as possible from your lips to just about anywhere else he can reach. Will be staring at you 99% of the time with big smoldering eyes that don’t waver in the slightest. In fact if you give him eye contact back he’ll just be even more turned on

Now...this might be controversial but... Capricorn Mars usually suggests power play/dynamic kink - think rich powerful CEO who secretly fantasizes about being tied up and blindfolded. Not to say that is exclusively his main kink bc it’s definitely not, he is 100% mostly dom BUT with the right person he’d be more than willing and very excited to try it out - probably because they are always in control so it’s an adrenaline rush for them to relinquish it to someone else. Doesn’t necessarily mean an extreme level of being submissive even just simple restraints can feel very extreme for a bossy and in-control Capricorn

Aquarius Venus also likes breaking relationship “norms” and trying out new things. They are super fun and bright when happy so when he’s in love he’s in LOVE. Wants to sing about it 24/7 but is too stubborn to be clingy or needy. The type to smile during sex, especially when he’s on top of you or drunk. Don’t even get me started on drunk handsy Kun whining in your ear about how he just wants to sneak out of the party early.....bc I will genuinely never recover

Very vocal in the bedroom - gives his partner tons of praise. Completely loses his mind and is loud af when you kiss your way from his neck down to below the hips

Most of the time sex with him is more passionate than kinky, not lightening fast jack rabbit thrusts instead hard and deep rhythmic ones that make your whole body shake - Hungry makeout sessions, sneaky little hickeys where no one else will see, massages than turn into hours of love making, takes his time to hit deep and hard inside you, handfuls of your hair, gaspy whispers

When he is feeling more kinky it’s usually spur of the moment. In the car in the middle of a rainy night during a cancelled schedule or after an especially steamy date night where he decides to take you to a hotel afterwards

KING OF AFTER CARE (NOT up for debate) - cooks you an amazing meal afterwords or orders up a feast if he’s too spent to get up too, cuddled up in blankets watching a movie for the rest of the night afterwards.

[iceglade]

yo this tarot shit has me genuinely so irl-stressed out bro 😭😭 i gotta either indulging in my hyperfixation fueled absolute-worst-outcome pessimism or get completely out of astro/tarot unless it’s super 100% /pos cos this is a horrible combination eeee

🌻 flower for you! tarot can be brutal, blunt, and harsh, and just out-of-context enough to only make sense in hindsight. thats just like life ahaa. i swear i also get way to stressed out (i am also too invested, ahahaa), but for me divination helps calm my anxieties a lot. let us help you :D tl;dr. the genre is angst with a happy ending.

you've struggled with insecurities before, and are right now, yeah? not just about the future, or about other people, but about yourself, too. its human!! the clearest messages anyone's readings always have for us whenever ANYONE asks about this topic is: so is dream. hey, y'know, both you and him deserve comforting when anxious, especially if you're scared about the future. even if you make weird decisions because of that fear. dream has baggage, yeah, but he is a hardy dude. he's willing to put in the work. you KNOW he is. he's defied fate before. and hes not alone.

if anything: (imo) tarot is like a pocket-sized mirror. its a small divination tool that you can use to see How Things Are At The Moment. try to think of future predictions like a motion vector graph - if you keep keep driving forward, you may clip the side of that jollibee

i try to keep a healthy level of skepticism, but divination on this topic it means something very profound to me, when everybody, over and over again, is getting the same cards -

"what will the meeting feel like": the sun. the world. joyful, full-circleness - it may feel to them like finally being free, or finally coming home.

"what is gnf feeling on this topic": the lovers. two of cups. queen of cups. compassion, unconditional love (p or r), experience and understanding,

. all of the above is no matter what deeply personal issue someone's cards may call him out for. tarot doesnt roast dream because hes malicious, or because it hates him. it roasts him because sometimes you get scared of the truth - and tarot is about as blunt a truth-teller as you can get. for all george's unhingement, he has this grace that people overlook because he hides it. his home-work seperation is strong. that's very very admirable! but we're not his friend. dream is.

dream shouldn't be scared of gnf. in the most pure sense of the word: he loves you, dude. whatever the situation is. he loves you. unconditionally. you. oh god. oh god. hoooh

its not just negatives that people can't avoid. but if theres one thing i can GUARANTEE: its that regardless (romantic or platonic) it doesnt MATTER, as long as they're together, the story will have a happy ending. they work hard and play hard, and they've done this for years. they are stuck together. forever. its too late bro!! they're stuck!! sure this is backed by astro but you can see it clear as day in what they do every day even unconsciously (i.e. obsess. cling. mutually!! and with full awareness of the other!! that is part of the appeal!!!) and they both represent something so earth-shatteringly important to each other, it makes me wanna shatter something.

"someone will stay by your side."

or maybe

"you are lovable as you are, with all your mess." or something else equally moving. but every possible is just as impactful as these ones. smth smth "yeah we plutonian. we leave deep lasting impacts on each other's lives that fundumentally change the other forever. keep scrolling." i know you're braced for the negative, but you cant escape the posi side of the wheel of fortune. you can try though. we can all try.

that's what brings ME comfort when doing readings, anyway. that plus this is a natural part of life. these lessons get learned by everyone. it just so happens that dream's is gonna be live and with FOOTAGE 😭 poor guy!!!!!/lh

. the genre is angst with a happy ending. watch how it plays out irl: someone will always surprise you. dream's too dedicated to positivity, and to george, for anything less than that. it'll be alright :O

[h2bakugou]

Idk if you do these kind of requests or not, but Amajiki, Tomura, Chisaki and Kacchan and their gf who’s on her period and she’s feeling low and just not herself???

a/n: i do hun! i did a similar period hc but this is different and i haven’t done these characters so here ya go love!

headcanon: them with a s/o who’s not feeling good on their period

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: swearing, fluff

»»————-　★　————-««

tamaki amajiki

»»————-　★　————-««

Tamaki is a sweetheart. He is there for you and will hold you until you feel better.

He’s a little shy but he really cares about you, and when it comes to the people he cares and loves, this boy will go to the ends of the Earth for you.

Soft kisses on your cheek or forehead.

Holds you in his arms while you play with his hair or snuggle into his neck.

When you’re not feeling your best, Tamaki is there to reassure you. Granted he struggles too, he hates seeing you like this.

“Bunny, you’re amazing, please don’t say such awful things about yourself.”

His indigo eyes are full of love and meaning, and you can clearly tell that he wants to say more, but will leave it at that for now.

Knowing that Tamaki has his own struggles with things like that, it really means a lot to hear him say that to you. 

Tamaki knows how to take care of you and will probably not leave your side unless you need him too, or want some space. 

Sleeping with Tamaki is one of the purest forms of love honestly. He’s holding you close while still allowing you to move if you ever get uncomfortable. His fingers delicately trace shapes and words out on your skin as your snoring softly beside him.

It’s nothing weird or funny, he’s not trying to pull any stunts, it’s just the two of you, sleeping, or worn-out and resting.

It’s him loving you and making sure that you’re feeling okay. 

It’s him reassuring you that you are precious and that bad days happen and there’s not much you can do but let them pass.

love this soft boy !!

»»————-　★　————-««

tomura shigaraki

»»————-　★　————-««

As much as I am a Shigaraki stan, I feel like this man’s first reaction would be disgust.

“What is coming from where?”

“It’s called menstruation-”

But on a real note, he probably never had a proper sex education class, and everything he learned about anatomy and stuff was either picked up from someone else, or learnt about from a game or movie.

Onto the headcanon stuff, overall I feel like once he comes to terms with what’s happening, he’s protective and caring.

Doesn’t like when the members of his league, let alone the people closet to him in both platonic and romantic ways, get hurt.

So seeing you in almost constant discomfort and pain is agonizing to watch.

By your side most of the time unless you want him to leave you alone, which is a struggle because he is persistent and bratty in the best ways.

‘I’m not leaving you-”

“Tomura, I just want some space.”

“Shut up and let me hold you.”

He takes your huff as a sign of agreement, but eventually it’s those same arms that you wanted gone, the arms you’d fallen asleep in.

Tomura probably acts like he’s the one on the period.

He’s ordering Dabi, Kurogiri, or anyone else who steps into view to get things for you so he can watch you 24/7.

Okay but as annoying loving as Tomura is, I could also see him getting frustrated with you.

“You clearly don’t feel good so just lay down and get some rest!”

“But I don’t want to!” You’re pacing around the room you share with Tomura while he stands by the door.

“Lay down.” Tomura orders.

“Make me.”

It’s a simple phrase that comes with varying consequences, this time, it’s being slung over his shoulder and tossed onto the bed, force down by him just laying on top of you like a human blanket.

“T-Tomura! That hurts!” You breathe out.

Eventually rolls off of you and just holds you close, getting some much needed rest.

Hates seeing you look down on yourself during this time because he truly loves you. He’s learned to love because of you.

“You’re the only idiot I tolerate in this shit hole. You’re fine the way you are.”

“Was that supposed to be a compliment?”

Maybe he isn’t the best with words, but his actions, aka the hoards of hugs and kisses, are what show you he cares.

In the nicest way possible, he is the epitome of “alright babe i’m in the pad isle, what size pussy do u wear?” but he’S LEARNING

»»————-　★　————-««

katsuki bakugou

»»————-　★　————-««

Katsuki Bakugou is probably one of the most sensible guys to help you when you’re on your period.

He’s going to be there for you, bring you snacks if you need them, provide warmth and cuddles when it’s time to sleep or if you have cramps, but he also isn’t going to put up with you if you get grumpy.

He knows that that kind of stuff tends to happen, and he doesn’t want to make it worse by angering you more. He’s struggled with restraint, but when it comes to you, it’s both easy and challenging.

He wants to be there for you, but he knows you might need your space.

When he sees you talking down about yourself or feeling low, this man is going to beat the shit out of you verbally. He’s showing you love and affection by yelling at you. All kind words of course.

“You’re fucking beautiful! And you’re not worthless!”

“Suki, it’s one am-”

“But you’re mumbling about how you aren’t good enough and that’s bullshit.”

“Alright alright, I get it, I’ll stop.” You say softly, closing your eyes while trying to fall back asleep beside your loud boyfriend.

“Yeah you better or I’ll have to kiss you, dumbass.”

“Kissing me is a punishment?”

“You know what I meant!”

He’s flustered

Holds you close when you can’t get comfy.

Kisses you a fuckton oh my god.

Kisses you when you say bad things about yourself, kisses you to show he loves you, kisses you when you’re kinda grumpy, kisses you when you’re not mad, you get the idea.

He just wants to see you smile, and kissing you is one of those ways that makes you flustered and makes you smile that goofy smile that Bakugou fell in love with.

I mentioned this in another headcanon, but this man’s hands are period cramp relievers- place those bad boys over the pain and relax.

They’re warm, and big, and it’s also cozy and securing laying in his arms.

The best way to lay on Bakugou is to get up under his sweater and tuck yourself onto his chest, placing his hands over your sides and dozing off.

He’ll steal a few kisses, and probably take a cheesy selfie to set as his lockscreen later, but he’s not far behind you in the sleeping department.

Genuinely doesn’t see how you don’t see yourself like a goddess. But nonetheless, he will never stop complimenting you and reassuring you.

He loves you so much, and he’ll be damned if you see yourself as anything less than what you are, and that’s truly amazing.

»»————-　★　————-««

kai chisaki

»»————-　★　————-««

This man is smart, arrogant, and driven, but sometimes he can be a bit of an asshole.

Will obviously be at your side if you need anything, after all, you are his top priority.

This could go a few ways. If he’s comfortable with you, and overcoming his mysophobia, he’ll do everything he can and is comfortable with to make sure you’re okay.

If he’s still struggling with germs, he may not be physically affectionate, but he’ll do his best. 

I feel like Chisaki probably shows his love through gifts, or at least to an extent he’ll try to show his love with presents.

But when he comes to terms with his feelings, he’s a man of words. He’ll say how he feels before he shows it. And it’s hard because actions do speak louder than words. And sometimes not being able to kiss or hug Chisaki is hard.

But his reassuring really hits different. Because Chisaki isn’t one for affection. He runs a gang, or a section of a larger gang. He didn’t have time for relationships before he met you, and he probably could’ve gone years before he ‘settled down’ if he hadn’t met you.

So hearing Chisaki tell you that he loves you and that you are not disgusting or pathetic, you know it means something.

You’re fully tended to when it comes to things like snacks, drinks, hygiene products, it’s all taken care for and Chisaki wouldn’t have it any other way.

He is here to take care of you unless he’s told otherwise. If it’s space you want, he’ll give it to you, but not before he knows you’re completely okay and that you won’t need anything while you want space.

If he’s comfortable with getting physical, his hugs are sweet. Just being held by him is a blessing. His kisses are even better. It’s always a private thing, he’s not just going to whip his mask off and kiss you in the middle of the hallway, despite how much he’d want too.

Chisaki works and he works hard. So it wouldn’t be rare if he only ever cared for you at night/during the morning. Of course he’ll spend time with you during lunch or if he’s got a break, but he can’t spend every minute of the day with you.

But I think not seeing him constantly is what makes spending time with him that much better.

You’ve got something to look forward too, as does he. He enjoys coming back from a long day, to take a nice shower and climb into bed with his favorite person and hold you until you both fall asleep.

Kisses you on your shoulder, neck and cheek the most. Hugs you from behind and cuddles you by wrapping his arm over your side, having your back pressed to him.

He genuinely hates seeing you talk down about yourself, but he’s not going to constantly remind you that you’re gorgeous and nothing is wrong with you.

It’s hard to love yourself, but he knows deep down that you’re special and you’ll realize it sooner or later.

Overall, Chisaki is a pretty sweet guy, but he’s resilient and reserved. He knows what he wants, and he’ll do anything in his power to make you feel better.

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

[dying-suffering-french-stalkers]

For the ship game: prime numbers for Lupin x Jigen!

HERE YOU GO GHOST, THIS WAS FIVE PAGES IN A GOOGLE DOC AND TOOK ME SEVERAL HOURS

Under a cut, allegedly, though mobile has been known to just IGNORE THAT. Sorry in advance if this gets goofed for anyone.

2) Who is always horny and will have sex at any time, in any place?

Lupin, obviously (and canonically). Just the horniest man you ever did see. Jigen knows what he wants and when he wants it, but he has difficulty keeping up with Don Juan Triumphant over there. Lupin is also far less picky about locations and times than Jigen is. Jigen still has a FEW standards, thank you, and also a stronger sense of self-preservation. Lupin sometimes tries to start shit in public or during a heist and Jigen is like “I REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATE THE SENTIMENT BUT CAN WE NOT.” The closest to public anything Jigen will put up with is bar bathroom/back-alley hookups, and he doesn’t really tend to do that with Lupin or Goemon since they have secondary locations far more suited to such activity (or at least the damn Fiat, if nothing else). That said, Jigen is a spiteful bastard and gets a huge kick out of riling Lupin up over the walkie-talkie during jobs. He is more than happy to get jumped by his boss after they make it out and secure the loot.

3) Who is more into taking showers/baths together? Who tries to make it relaxing and who tries to make it sexy time?

Honestly, while I can totally see Lupin and Jigen doing this with their other partners, I have a harder time imagining the two of them doing this together and I’m not sure why. I feel like these two on their own both like the privacy bathing gives them, whether it’s to clean wounds or decompress from a job.

On the occasions when they do bathe together, I feel like it’s an unspoken kind of thing, where the other person quietly slips in the tub/shower with them and they just don’t bother protesting. I think Lupin is more likely to join Jigen in his bathing, but if Jigen is sleepy enough or lonely enough he might do the same. There is a lot of mutual appreciation of scars. They’ve definitely smoked in the tub before (Intricate Rituals™). Lupin is probably more likely to get handsy, because Lupin, but two can play that game if Jigen is feeling it, and also Jigen gives Lupin a run for his money in the staring department. No hat to hide behind now.

Lupin has also 100% done the whole “Hey Jigen, do you know if—stop screaming, it’s me—do you know if we have any more instant dashi? Goemon’s gonna slice up the sofa if I ruin soba night again.”

5) Who sleeps on the couch when they get into a fight?

Jigen, but to be fair, he canonically sleeps on the couch most nights (possibly to keep an eye on the door, possibly because he knows that place, at least, is always “acceptable” for him to occupy). It’s an odd night if you don’t see Jigen out there with a glass and a bottle of scotch and an old movie on TV. The main difference is that if he and Lupin have been fighting, he won’t bother with the formality of a glass and the TV will be playing far louder or not at all.

7) [A] Who said “I love you” first? And [B] who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”?

I hate to take the coward’s way out here, but I think the answers are A) either one - depends on the headcanon/fic/version of the characters I’m feeling that day, and B) both.

For A, they’re both the sort of people to show their love—true love/affection, not just flirtation/infatuation, LUPIN—in action, not words. Lupin is a man of many words to a fault, generous with his verbal and physical affection, so Lupin has to find a way to make sure Jigen knows he means it and how he means it. He may rightly fear that Jigen won’t believe him (or else believe him but take it platonically) if he says “I love you” to his face, so first he’ll show him through every little action he can. Jigen is a man of few words to a fault, so saying personal stuff like that out loud is both a last resort and the point of no return. Getting him to say it at all, unambiguously, and while sober is like pulling teeth. Once one of them finally spits it out, though, I think the other is quick to reciprocate (again, if they manage to say it clearly and under good circumstances and not ambiguously/while drunk or wounded/etc. They’re both idiots and selective cowards so this is a big if). The mutual relief is palpable and immediately followed by sex, because they’re both (horny) idiots and selective cowards who do not want to talk about Emotions and Personal Things any more than strictly necessary.

For B, ohhhh man, if it isn’t that same emotional avoidance coming to bite them in the asses! Looks like talking about deep emotions is strictly necessary after all! You know it’s a Big Important Argument for them if this is what it comes to. This is going to tie in somewhat to the answers for 11, 17, and 23, so stay tuned. “Because I love you” coming from either of them should give the other pause, but if they are angry enough, they’re both quite likely to storm off after that declaration anyway. They’ll come back and have a real discussion later, but the shock or frustration of that arresting declaration dropped in the middle of an argument is something neither of them are great at dealing with. Hearing that from Jigen might be enough to stop Lupin in his tracks, but Lupin might also be so dead-set on something that he’ll steamroll right over it even if he knows he’ll regret it later. Hearing that from Lupin probably only makes Jigen angrier because of his awful self-esteem (see answers 11 and 23), and even if he’s been working on that, his instinct will be to snarl “Yeah, right” and storm out the door. I like to think that one day they are able to get to the heart of the argument sooner (because this is almost always it) and work on the behaviors that worry the other so much, but alas, they are a mess.

11) Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship?

Once again, either of them depending on the day.

As you mentioned in your JiGoe post, Jigen says it partly because he thinks it’s funny (“You have a crush on me, Boss? Fuckin’ embarrassing”) but also because he’s fishing for validation. His self-esteem/confidence in anything outside his shooting skills is shit and he still can’t quite believe that Lupin isn’t lying/he hasn’t conned Lupin into something. This is rather overestimating his conning skills and underestimating his many good qualities, but, well, genuine, lasting affection is kinda new for him. Much to Jigen’s annoyance, Lupin figures out exactly what Jigen’s up to after the first few times and answers him seriously (and positively) instead of continuing the “joke”. Lupin loses patience for this particular tactic over time but I like to think that Jigen finally begins believing in the affection, too, so it comes up less and less and one day Jigen might actually play the quip straight without the self-deprecation. Ideally he would just take the damn compliment, but it’s LupJig and banter is one of their love languages.

When Lupin says it, he typically is playing the quip straight and fondly giving Jigen shit for showing an Emotion and motherFUCKER I just realized Jigen could probably be considered a tsundere. I hate this. ANYWAY. Jigen then immediately snarks back that yes, Lupin, considering we’ve been travelling the world together and actively fucking for X years, it’d be damn awkward if I didn’t by now.

13) Who initiates duets? and who is the better singer?

Lupin absolutely initiates duets, or rather, he tries to; whether or not Jigen actually chimes in is another matter entirely. Lupin is also the better singer by far (when he’s sober). He loves singing along to pop and rock in the car (“This is the reason God invented America!”).

Much as it would please me personally to give Jigen a smooth operatic baritone, there’s no way in hell he sounds good after smoking a pack a day for twenty-something years. I think Jigen can carry a tune and he’s a decent hummer and whistler, but his singing voice isn’t spectacular.

Lupin occasionally succeeds in getting Jigen to join him in car karaoke, though as in all things, Lupin is much louder and more impassioned. Jigen frequently hums along under his breath, though, and Lupin loves hearing Jigen’s a cappella renditions of classical music (complete with hand motions).

When Queen starts becoming popular, car singalongs become much more involved because it’s MY silly headcanon and You Are Not Immune To Queen. Jigen cried the first time he heard “Bohemian Rhapsody” and he will kill Lupin if he ever tells Goemon or, God forbid, Fujiko. When the four of them are in the car it’s a full-on Wayne’s World headbanging party. (Pops is the drunk guy they pick up along the way. Also, seeing Payless Shoe Source in this clip dealt me psychic damage.)

Lupin and Jigen (and Goemon) are the living embodiment of the drunk friends singing “Sweet Caroline” post, and Jigen is specifically this version of “Sweet Caroline”.

17) Who is more protective?

THAT IS THE QUESTION, HUH, GHOST? Jigen’s job and, to a certain degree, raison d’être is protecting Lupin, but (to cheat slightly and quote your own DM to me), if you think Lupin won’t raze everything to the ground to keep Jigen (and the others) safe, you don’t know him at all. They are this meme to the deepest of faults. They are both so desperately afraid of losing what they have (and in Lupin’s case, this is tinged with a bonus, even more concerning “what is his”) that they will go full self-sacrificing, scorched-earth policy. This is, in fact, my favorite reason for Lupin to do the worst thing he does: fake his own death to protect his partners. Lupin never stops to think that maybe, JUST MAYBE, he should trust his partners to fake grief and keep the secret long enough for whoever’s on their tail to give up or let their guard slip. Lupin is willing to hurt them in an effort to protect them, so in that way, I suppose Lupin is the “most” “protective”. Jigen’s self-abasement to the point of unhesitating and perhaps even hasty sacrifice is painful, too, but Jigen would never dare go to the same level of deception (except in Goodbye, Partner, apparently? But 1) I haven’t watched it yet and 2) while awful, I still feel like fake betrayal pales in comparison to very convincingly (AND MAYBE REPEATEDLY) faked death).

19) Who drives and who has the window seat?

They split driving duties, but Lupin genuinely loves driving and Jigen is more than happy to prop his feet on the Fiat’s dashboard and smoke or sleep the hours away.

23) Who thinks they are not good enough for the other’s love? and who’s more afraid of losing the other? Who thinks they keep messing up, only for the other to tell them they don’t need to worry?

HERE WE GO AGAIN!!! I think the answer to all of these is ultimately Jigen, but that’s not to say Lupin doesn’t share the exact same worries.

Jigen has a very difficult time believing that his partners’ love is genuine, and since Lupin is the one he knew first, that’s where it first manifests. Jigen has had very, very few good romantic connections in his life (if any). He doesn’t know what Lupin could possibly see in an older, prickly hired killer with a drinking problem and a head full of demons. He’s willing to believe that Lupin keeps him around for his skills, for protection, and for sex, sure, but anything past that? Doubtful. This ties into the other two parts of the question: Jigen is afraid that if he fails in his sharpshooting or his protection, he will be cut out of the gang, or worse, Lupin will end up dead because Jigen slipped up. As mentioned in question 17, Jigen cannot bear to lose Lupin and he would never forgive himself if he believed it was somehow his fault. Accordingly, Jigen takes “failure” that exceeds his usual margin of error very seriously in the early days. Later, he is better about this, but the worst-case scenario still stands.

Lupin, on the other hand, has had plenty of romantic connections, some good, some bad, though it is perhaps telling that Fujiko is his longest romantic relationship other than Jigen. He is afraid that if he doesn’t put on the world’s greatest show at all times, no one will give a rat’s ass about some scrawny grandson of an old French thief (or the perhaps unwanted/disliked son of a ruthless crime lord, because I love that fanon for Lupin the Second). He must live up to and indeed surpass the previous Lupins, he must shower his partners in money and adventure, he must always, always come out on top no matter how south the plan goes, or else what is the point of him? It takes time for him to turn his persona off for more than a few seconds, to let the quieter, sometimes contemplative side that slips through the cracks come to rest out in the open. Years down the road, Jigen finally gets up the courage and the words to tell Lupin that he would love him no matter what he did or where he went, even if that was nothing and nowhere. And again, see question 17 re: losing Jigen.

29) Who does some crazy stunt to try and impress the other and who ends up driving them to the emergency room after it backfires?

Lupin is by far the most guilty of this. He’s constantly pulling dumb shit, whether that be for World-Renowned Gentleman Thief reasons or just He May Be Stupid reasons. Case in point: the tunnel scene in The First, after which Jigen was duly impressed. Fortunately for Lupin, Lady Luck must be head over heels for him because the bastard keeps surviving, but sometimes even she can’t save him from medical consequences. Jigen bulk-ordered “Stupid Hurts” band-aids specifically for Lupin. Jigen’s bad choices are more likely to literally backfire on him, but Goemon more than makes up for Jigen’s slack in the Crazy Stunt department.

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Poisoned Veins

Prompts: Hi! Feel free to ignore this, but I'd love it if you could write some sort of Merlin (preferably Merthur) fanfic involving the serket sting and S3 E1/2? Maybe just after Merlin gets back, or after the battle, or something (not too long after the sting, is what I'm saying). Either good or bad Morgana, I don't mind. But lots of nice hurt/comfort with Merlin and Arthur, emphasis on the comfort (I love your fics, especially the relationship between Merlin and Arthur, so...) - anon

May I ask for a Merlin&Arthur fic? I love how you write them together! - anon

Thanks for the prompts babes!

Read on Ao3

Warnings: implied/referenced mind control

Pairings: merthur and mergana, but they can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 4108

Was it the stupidest thing he’s done all day? Probably not. The stupidest thing he’s done in the last hour?

Most definitely.

But as he stands here, in the vault, deep under stone and soldiers, he faces Morgana and closes his eyes.

Golden light. Then silence.

The pit of his stomach opens up, his power spilling and spilling into the air between them. It burns his eyes, even through his lids, the tips of his fingers tingling with the excess magic. It hurts. It’s the best he’s felt in ages.

He hears Morgana gasp in front of him.

He opens his eyes to see her, powerful in her armor, the staff in one hand, the sword in the other, tears like chainmail glittering on her face. Her mouth is open, torn between what must be fury and shock, as he holds the glow spinning in his hands.

“I understand,” he hears himself say from miles away, “and I’m sorry.”

Is it partly out of spite? To prove her wrong? Maybe. Is it partly because he desperately wants Kilgharrah to be wrong, that they’re not the same, but yes, yes they are? Maybe.

Is it mostly because he helped turn Morgana into this, helped forge the sword the Morgana has become in Morgause’s hand?

Merlin holds his magic there, bared for her to see, as her mouth snarls and spits at him.

The words flash across his vision even as she doesn’t speak them. How could he, he betrayed her, how dare he side with them, what kind of a monster must he be?

They emerge in a wordless yell as she lunges forward, intent on burying her sword into his chest until—

The force of the blast knocks them back, throwing them like rag dolls against unyielding stone. Merlin winces, his body protesting first from the force of the expended magic and then the sharp crack from the wall. He manages to wedge himself upright with his elbow, scanning furiously for the damage done to the rest of the vault.

Fissures run along the length of the ceiling, dust showering as the soldiers upstairs rush back and forth. Somewhere up there are the knights, Leon, Arthur, the others—he should get up, he should see what else he has to do, but—

He looks down, searching for Morgana.

He finds a limp body, a sword flung out of a hand, and a staff that hums with enough dark power to make his stomach churn.

Panic courses through his veins as he scrambles across the floor, palms digging roughly into jagged stone, knees and elbows catching on loose rock. He winces, stumbles, flails, keeps going. He’s already hurt Morgana once, he won’t dare leave her again.

“Morgana,” he mumbles, straining through the clouds of dust, “Morgana—can—can you hear me?”

She’s out cold, lying limply on the floor. He reaches out, grabbing at her chainmail, trying to roll her onto her back, see what the damage is, did she hit something and get knocked unconscious? No blood greets him as her head turns, he can’t feel anything broken, so then what—why—

Something under his hand burns.

He yanks his hand away to see a bracelet, the bracelet Morgause gave her, the bracelet that stayed on as the dead rose around them, flare, splutter, and die.

Morgause…

Morgana gasps awake.

“Easy,” Merlin says before she can sit up too quickly and hurt herself, “easy, easy, Morgana, please, it’s—it’s alright, I’m not going to hurt you—“

“Merlin—Merlin—“ her voice grows shriller in a panic— “Merlin, please you have to listen to me—“

“I’m not going to hurt you, you have to believe me—“

“Merlin, please—“

“It’s alright, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I wanted to, just please listen to me, we have to stop this—“

“Merlin!”

The note of genuine hysteria gives him pause before he looks up and sees her face. Her face, not that horrible mask that’s been plastered to her since she returned, no, this is Morgana, shining back at him, tears still armor, as real as the hand fisted in his tunic to pull him closer, not push him away.

“…Morgana?”

“Merlin,” she says in a rush, “Merlin, we have to destroy the staff, Morgause is using it to channel my powers, she’s attacking the city, we need to—if we destroy the staff we may still win—“

“Morgana?” Merlin blinks, not wanting to believe it.

“Please, Merlin,” Morgana says, sitting up and taking his tunic in both hands now, “please, I know—I know I’ve been awful to you, I know this is my fault too, but you have to believe me, she’s more powerful than you know, we have to—“

“Are you hurt?” He looks her over, sees the bracelet still on her wrist. He reaches for it.

“What are you doing? We have to stop her!”

“The bracelet,” he says, “take your bracelet off.”

Morgana looks down. Her eyes widen when she sees the jewel in the middle burst open. “It’s—it’s broken…it’s broken…”

And the heart-wrenching look on her face as her mouth twists and she yanks it off is enough to convince Merlin.

“How do we destroy it?”

“I don’t know!” Morgana yanks him to his feet. ‘She said only the High Priestesses and their blood god had ever seen it.”

Merlin winces as the clattering above gets louder. He looks around to see more and more of the dead rising. “Well, we’ve got to try something!”

Morgana’s face twists further as she grips the staff. Her eyes begin to glow.

“Morgause is a High Priestess,” she growls, as the glow intensifies, “and I am her sister.”

She looks to Merlin.

“Help me.”

Merlin’s own magic starts to respond as the staff glows brighter, its own dark magic threatening to swallow the kingdom whole. Morgana’s magic reaches for him as they hold the staff together.

“On three,” she grits through a clenched jaw, “ready?”

Merlin nods, starting to pant with the effort of holding onto the staff. “One…”

“Two…”

“Three!”

The staff shatters.

They stand, frozen, made immobile by the magic surrounding them, as the dead start to fall back to the earth. Merlin’s eyes are fixed open, gazing at the remnants of the ancient tree, bound only by magic now dissipated. Across from him, Morgana’s gaze locks on his and they breathe.

“You have magic,” she whispers after an eternity of silence, “you…you’re like me.”

“I’m sorry,” Merlin says, his hands still outstretched, “I’m sorry.”

A wounded noise escapes them both as they slump to the ground, exhausted by the weight of the magic in the room. All around them, skeletons fall, the castle settles, and the battle rages on. The faintest sound of swords manages to reach them, down here, buried under stone, but for now, they are alone.

Alone in a swirl of magic and the broken promises of destiny.

Merlin drags himself across the floor to curl protectively around Morgana’s shaking form. He can’t let her get hurt now. She’s just broken one of the most powerful enchantments he’s ever seen, let alone felt, there’s no way he’s letting anyone near her. Morgana stirs as he sets himself over her, reaching upwards to grab a fist of his tunic. She tugs him down into a hug, her arms going around him so tightly he winces, before wrapping his own around her.

They’re sorry. They’re so, so sorry.

“I haven’t felt anything in ages,” comes the hoarse whisper, “it felt—It felt as though she banished me behind a sheet of glass, even in my own body.”

“You did it,” he mumbles back, squeezing her tighter, “you broke the enchantment. You did it. She can’t control you anymore.”

“I’m still so angry.” Her chest hitches as she gasps. “I’m so—I’m so angry and I can’t—I can’t tell which anger is mine and which anger is hers.”

The stone echoes in silent judgment as her confession rings in the air around them.

“You don’t have to figure it out right now.” He tightens his grip. “We can just—rest. For a moment.”

“Yes, that sounds nice.” Her voice starts to lilt. “Just…a little…rest…right here.”

“The others can—they’ll be fine.”

“Yes, yes, quite.”

Merlin’s eyes start to droop as his body finally gets to sag in relief. He winces.

“Merlin?” Morgana stirs under him. “Are you—did I hurt you?”

He shakes his head. “No, no, I just…I think I need to sleep, now…”

Kilgharrah’s warning about the cure returns. It will work, but not quickly.

And he just burnt up a lot of his energy.

He curses softly under his breath and Morgana sits up quickly, pulling him against the wall as they lean together.

“Merlin, Merlin? Merlin, talk to me,” she says as she scrambles to make sure his tunic and neck kerchief aren’t making it hard for him to breathe, “stay—stay with me.”

“I’m—I’m sorry…”

“It’s alright, Merlin, I hurt you too, I’m not angry at you, just—well, alright,” she yields when he manages to give her a look, “maybe a little, but not like that, just—stay awake, what’s wrong?”

He swallows roughly. “The Serket sting,” he manages through a dry throat, “it—I’m still not strong enough to fully…fully heal yet. I think—I think I pushed too hard.”

“Oh, Merlin,” she says, the perfect balance between chiding and fond, “you always push yourself too hard.”

“Easy for you to say,” he mumbles back, “you’re…you’re as close to an overachiever as they come.”

“Am not!”

“Are too.”

Their laughs are too tired to be convincing, cut off by an awful churn in Merlin’s stomach. The familiar pain of the poison swirls at the base of his spine.

“Shh, shh,” Morgana says frantically, pressing a glowing hand to his stomach, “I can—I had Morgause teach me some healing, I can try to hold it at bay while we find Gaius—“

“I’ll be fine,” he says, feeling the familiar wash of magic through his veins, “I’ll be fine, you…you save your strength. We’ve got some explaining to do when this is all over.”

Indeed, above them, the sounds of battle are slowly quieting.

Morgana laughs shakily. “And you best believe you’re going to be right there with me,” she warns, “you’re not getting out of it.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he says as his eyes start to drift closed, “but you…you can’t burn yourself out either.”

“So let’s both stay awake,” she says firmly, her arms still wrapped around him, “we’ll…we can just rest, right here, and then…then we’ll tell them.”

“Stay with me, then,” Merlin mumbles, reaching to wrap his arms more tightly around her, “don’t try and run off as soon as I pass out.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

There they stay, Morgana’s nose pressed into the crook of Merlin’s neck, Merlin’s hand buried at the base of Morgana’s braid, curled up, safe and exhausted next to the shattered staff.

There Arthur finds them, tearing frantically through the citadel, shouting for Merlin, for Morgana, for anyone who’s seen them.

They look up when he comes in, fear giving way to relief as a jibe rises to the tip of his tongue. Something cheap about the two of them sneaking off, or feigned disgust or outrage at finding them in such a compromising position. But then he catches sight of their tear-stained faces and the carnage around them and they can see him putting the pieces together.

“Merlin,” he finally says after a long moment, “Morgana, you’re both—you’re both safe.”

“Arthur?” Morgana props herself up a little. “Arthur, are you—“

“I’m alright,” he says, “the battle’s over.”

“Arthur.” Merlin tries to sit up too but neither he nor Morgana can make it. “Arthur—“

“Oh, alright,” Arthur sighs like he’s also not desperate to pick his way through the rubble toward them, “I’m coming.”

Still, he can’t disguise the look of relief on his face as he sits next to them, Morgana immediately pulling herself up to throw an arm around his neck.

“Alright, alright,” he mumbles like he’s not the most relieved prince in the world, “I’m here, I’m alright. Are you safe?”

“I’m safe now,” she says, “we destroyed the staff, we stopped the magic.”

Arthur looks around. “So you did. Well done.”

One of Morgana’s hands is still clutching Merlin’s tunic, dragging him closer to Arthur as she hugs him. Arthur raises an eyebrow as he notes this, looking to Merlin to make a joke only for it to die as he takes in what Merlin can only assume is his pale, sweaty, exhausted face.

“Are you alright?” He reaches for Merlin’s arm. “Are you hurt?”

Merlin thinks about shaking his head.

“Destroying the staff wasn’t easy,” he decides after a moment, which is true, “the magic…took a lot out of us. Both of us.” Which is also true.

“Merlin got hurt with a poison,” Morgana adds, shooting him a look that only he can tell is guilty, “he’s fighting it off still.”

“I’ve gotten the cure,” Merlin says before Arthur can indignantly rush them both upstairs, “it’s just…taking a while.”

Arthur’s gaze softens and he tugs Merlin a little closer.

“Is that why you’re still here,” he asks the both of them, “is it just…taking a while?”

They nod.

“Then let’s get you somewhere safe,” he says, starting to stand, “the battle is over. The citadel is safe.”

Morgana’s eyes flick to Merlin’s.

“Cenred and Morgause,” Merlin says, “are they gone?”

“Fled, it looks like,” Arthur says as they stand, “probably back to their own kingdoms.”

Morgana’s shoulders slump. “Thank goodness.”

“I’ll check to see what the easiest way back is.” Arthur walks toward the door. “Just wait here a moment.”

As soon as he disappears, Morgana looks down. Merlin follows her gaze to see the bracelet there, at their feet. He squeezes Morgana’s hand.

“Áce wele!”

The bracelet explodes into shards of metal as Morgana spits the spell. Arthur returns to see them still standing there, clutching each other.

“Is a side effect of the spell that you can’t let go,” he jokes, coming back to lead them out of the vault, “or is it just you two?”

When neither of them responds, he ushers them to Gaius without further comment.

Merlin nods when Gaius gives him a strange look, motioning to wait until Arthur is outside, standing guard.

“I’m sorry,” both Morgana and Merlin say at the same time, before Morgana clears her throat, “I’m sorry, Gaius, for everything. I didn’t know—Morgause—the bracelet—I know that doesn’t make up for everything but—“

“It’s quite alright, Morgana,” Gaius says, “I am not blameless either. And I am sorry.”

She accepts it with a quick jerk of her head. “I’m still angry. But until I know which of the anger is mine and which is hers, I’m…I can’t…”

She rolls her shoulders back.

“You have nothing to fear from me.”

Gaius bows his head humbly. “And you shall find no more loyal a servant.”

Morgana glances to Merlin and mouths except for you.

Merlin blushes.

Gaius shoos him out to tend to the last of Morgana’s wounds and to make a potion to clear the last of the magic from her, leaving Merlin stumbling into the corridor and running straight into Arthur’s arms.

“There you are,” he says softly, helping Merlin stand, “has Gaius told you you’re alright?”

“He said there’s nothing else for me to do but rest,” Merlin manages, before remembering that he needs to tend to Arthur, “but I can—I’ll help you first.”

Arthur just hums and starts walking them back to his chambers. They pass others, tending to wounds, hugging their loved ones, until they push open the doors to Arthur’s rooms and Merlin’s shoulders slump. His fingers fumble a few too many times for it to be considered efficient, but before long Arthur is free of his armor and Merlin all but collapses onto the table, having struggled to hang the last of it up.

“Will there be anything else, sire?”

Please, no. Let me rest.

“Yes, actually, Merlin, come here.”

He winces, pulls himself together and turns, ready to answer whatever Arthur’s going to have him do next, only to frown. In the time it took him to get Arthur’s armor cleared away, Arthur’s filled a small basin with water and set it on a table next to the bed. He opens his mouth to ask what Arthur wants when Arthur beckons him closer.

“Arthur, what—“

“Sit, Merlin,” Arthur says in the soft voice from the vault, taking him gently by the arm and guiding him to the bed, “there. I’m going to clean you off.”

“What? I’m fine!”

“You’re not,” Arthur corrects, still speaking in the voice that is making it very hard for Merlin to stay awake, ���now hush and raise your arms.”

“Why?”

“Your tunic is filthy.” Arthur gives the material a tug. “And I need to see where you’re hurt.”

“‘M not hurt.”

“Morgana said you were poisoned. That means you’re hurt. Where did they get you?”

“…back.”

“On your back? Alright. Let’s go ahead and get this off you…”

Arthur’s hands are steady as he guides the tunic up and over Merlin’s head, followed by a sharp inhale as he sees the bruises from the chains.

“…Merlin, this looks like you were tortured.” Merlin can’t do anything but blink up at him. “You said the poison was on your back?”

Merlin nods.

“Here, I’m going to lean you forward, you just lean against me, alright?”

Arthur’s hand cups Merlin’s head, pulling him forward until he rests against Arthur’s chest. He loses himself in the slow card of fingers through his hair as Arthur leans over him to check where the poison must’ve been. When he feels a warm hand run over the still-tender wound, he winces.

Arthur stills. “Here?”

Merlin nods. “Two—two—wait, how long has it been since I got back?”

Arthur is quiet for a moment. Then he pulls away, hushing the embarrassing noise of protest that comes from Merlin’s throat.

“I’m not going far, just right here.” He takes a cloth and dips it in the water. “Let me clean your face.”

A warm hand slots itself under Merlin’s chin and lifts. A moment later, there’s a cool cloth on his face, stroking along his cheeks, over his forehead. Arthur asks him to close his eyes and the cloth sweeps gently, so gently over his closed eyes, getting away the salt and the dirt and the last of the tears.

“Shh,” Arthur soothes when Merlin lets out a pained noise, “it’s alright. I’m not hurt, you’ll be alright, I’m right here.”

“‘Rthur—“

The cloth leaves, dropped back onto the table as Arthur cradles his head in his hands. “You’re exhausted, Merlin, but I need you to open your eyes for me.”

For Arthur. He can do it for Arthur.

Arthur smiles encouragingly as he meets his gaze, kneeling by the bed so Merlin won’t strain his neck. He ruffles Merlin’s hair.

“There you are,” he murmurs, “now show me where it hurts.”

“Hurts?”

“You don’t have a fever, I checked, but you’re still in pain. I need you to show me.”

“I, um…”

“Hey,” Arthur calls, standing again to tuck Merlin into his arms, “you don’t have to be embarrassed, not with me, I’m here to look after you, it’s alright.”

“It—the magic—it—from the—“ Merlin swallows— “the magic from the staff and the poison, it—it hurt.”

Arthur makes a sympathetic noise, reaching for the cloth again. “Took a lot out of you, hmm?”

Merlin nods miserably, only to yelp in surprise when Arthur tilts him back, held with one arm around his back and the other pressing the cool cloth just below his chest.

“I’ve got you,” he says quietly when Merlin lets out another confused noise, pressing the cloth into the hollow of his ribcage, “just lay back and trust me, alright?”

Arthur props himself up on the bed, Merlin almost dipped in his arms as he holds the cloth still. The cool water almost feels like it’s drawing some of the pain out of him, making him sag into Arthur’s arms.

“Shh, that’s it, just a little longer.” Arthur turns the cloth so the cool side stays against Merlin. “Does that feel good?”

Merlin nods. His head lolls against Arthur’s shoulder, his eyes threatening to close. They blink open once Arthur starts talking again.

“You were dying,” he says quietly, looking at Merlin, “when you were gone those two days, weren’t you?”

Merlin nods.

“Oh, Merlin, I’m sorry.” His thumb rubs a soothing circle into his side. “No one will touch you again, I won’t let them.”

Something in Arthur’s voice makes him want to melt, stay here, safe in the crook of Arthur’s arms, but he can’t. If Arthur notices the way he rouses himself again, he doesn’t comment. Instead, he just turns the cloth over again.

“Something happened down there,” he says softly, “between you and Morgana, didn’t it?”

Merlin tenses.

“Not like that, Merlin,” Arthur chuckles, “but something happened when you broke the staff, didn’t it?”

He nods hesitantly. Arthur rolls his eyes.

“I do pay attention. I know what Morgana’s like. You two were practically inseparable when I first arrived.” The arm holding Merlin gives him a little squeeze. “You don’t have to tell me what it is, just…tell me, will you two be alright?”

He nods again. He’s sure of that.

“Good,” Arthur murmurs, setting the cloth aside. Merlin tries to sit up only for Arthur’s arm to hold him steady. “No, no, you stay. Here…there you go.”

Merlin blinks, a little confused when Arthur lays him tenderly out onto the bed. He props himself up on his elbows as Arthur bustles to the wardrobe, fetching a nightshirt for Merlin and helping him into it.

“What—“

“You’re exhausted, Merlin,” he says like that explains everything, “stay here tonight. Sleep.”

“I can’t do that, you—ah!“

“Shh, shh, hey, easy,” Arthur soothes, wrapping his arms around Merlin as he doubles over, a hand pressed hard to his chest.

Merlin bites back a whimper as another bolt of pain shoots through his chest. Damn Serket poison. Dimly, he realizes Arthur’s right. There’s no way he’s going to be able to make it back to Gaius and explain what’s going on.

Then he realizes as he’s been dealing with this, Arthur’s moved him.

He’s tucked up under the prince’s blankets, a pillow under his head, his boots and rough trousers removed. Next to him, Arthur reaches out to cradle him against his chest, rubbing soothing circles into his back. He lets out another mewl as Arthur gentles away the pain in his shoulders. There’s a warm hand under his chin, guiding it up. Arthur tilts his head and chucks Merlin lightly.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

Oh.

Oh.

Arthur’s worried.

“It hurts,” he manages, “it just—it hurts.”

Arthur makes a sympathetic noise, pulling him closer and tucking his head under his chin. He rolls them, Merlin on top, his knees coming up to bracket Merlin’s body as he strokes a warm hand up and down Merlin’s back.

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” he murmurs, Merlin’s head safely in the crook of his neck, “it’s over now.”

“It’s over?”

“Yes, sweetheart, you’re safe. I’m right here.” Arthur cuddles him closer. “The battle is over. Camelot is safe. Morgana is safe. I’m safe.”

He cups the back of Merlin’s head and brings his mouth to his ear.

“You can rest now, sweetheart. Just go to sleep,” he whispers, “go on…”

Arthur is here. Arthur is solid and holds him firmly. Arthur is big and warm and soft and Merlin is so, so, tired.

Rest, young warlock, he thinks he hears as he drifts off, and well done.

[windsweptlassie]

On Love

So as you know I made this uquiz with an open-ended question at the end, tell me something about love, and I’ve gotten the most wonderful responses! They range from descriptions of wonderful partners: 

Lauren: oh, how long I went without being myself until I met him and he showed me who I truly was and that my worth was higher than I ever thought was possible

Levi: I love who we are with each other. I love who I am with you. In your company I am me. In your company I am the best of me. The best with the best, I've told you. I wouldn't give you up for anything

Daniel: i fell in love for the first time when i was 17... at the time, i didn’t realize it was the first time, i thought i’d been in love before, a couple times actually, but falling in love at 17 was such a fulfilling experience, it felt so forceful yet so right. it’s when i first truly understood what love was. never before had i felt so understood and so cared for as i did when i was in love with her, and she was in love with me. it’s been nearly 4 years since then, and nearly 3 years since we broke up and stopped talking, and still, i think about her almost every day. i’ve never known anyone like her; to me, she was love itself.

El: oh i’m in love with everyone that i know op!!! especially my girlfriend, of course ,but also my friends and my family and random people on the street and uh

Grace: i’ve met my soulmate and we plan on getting an apartment and marrying after college

A: I’m going to ask the woman I love to marry me and I just wanted to tell someone because I am so excited

Jeremy: you ever have that feeling where basically after years of denying that someone couldnt understand you in a way or love you and then the next thing you know you happen to find that person and its just great from then on out? idk how to explain it anyways I love my boyfriend so much he means the world to me

Lucy: i am so happy i have found the one i love

to descriptions of best friends and favorite people:

Nightbyrd: Love is a hug from an alzheimer's patient who hasn't the foggiest idea who you are, but they know you're worth hugging.

H: I have been doing so much yoga with my roommate recently!! It's a great way to center my mind for an hour

Riv: [platonic] i’ve literally never met anyone who understands me in the way that my best friends do. they’re literally the best people in the whole world and i genuinely don’t know what i’d do without them. i love them with my whole heart

Cillian: when i talk about how much i love my best friend i get so teary eyed because i cant believe that such a genuinely wonderful person wants to speak to me every day - i care for her more than anyone else on this planet

O: my two besties are my sources of happiness and they’re so pretty i would die for them :D

to beautiful quotes:

Kai: "you have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on." DARCYYYY PLS MY HEART CANT HANDLW THIS PAIN

Dorian: When the plane went down in San Francisco, I thought of my friend M. He’s obsessed with plane crashes. He memorizes the wrecked metal details, ____the clear cool skies cut by black scars of smoke. Once, while driving, he told me about all the crashes: The one in blue Kentucky, in yellow Iowa. How people go on, and how people don’t. It was almost a year before I learned that his brother was a pilot. I can’t help it, I love the way men love. (accident report in the tall, tall weeds- ada limon, bright dead things)

Adam: every day I think about lemony snicket I will love you if I never see you again I will love you if I see you every Tuesday or however it goes. and it KILLS ME. love only fits in small things

Hero: “Your heart beats in my ribs and mine in yours, and both in God’s… The divine magnet is in you, and my magnet responds.” - Herman Melville to Nathaniel Hawthorne

Mary: "Love is watching someone die."

Alex: "meet me at blue diner, i'll take coffee and talk about nothing baby"

Sparrow: "How dare you love me like you've never known fear?" and "For you, the world," and "Darling, I was born to press my head between your shoulder blades," and "Will you start where I end?"

V: " You want to die for love. You always have. " and "someone will remember us, I say, even in another time" are living rent free in my mind 24/7 and I'm shaking. When will I finally be not the only one falling ?

Sahar K: To love another person is to see the face of god!!!

Miriam: all the love in the world is useless when there is total lack of understanding- kafka

Juls: Don’t you think they are maybe the same? Love and attention

to practices of love:

Leo; i love feeling happy bc somebody that i love is happy and comfortable....like its not about me i just love seeing you smile. we are safe together...idk i just feel it bro

A: I like to think love is leaning on each other during the light or dark days. Its a personal mission of mine to find out who I am and what I want. Yet I never seem to find my place in this world and as I look and look , I realise the only place I can be myself even with or without the efforts to find myself was done on that day or not, I am always tired so shall I lean on you? And you can lean on me as well. I shall be your fig tree and you shall be my favourite willow tree.

L: It's too late at night to be soul searching, but it's a journey we all seem to find ourselves on these days.

Anthi: feeling safe and at home, I guess (also I love frogs)

Julia: ive found that loving someone is like becoming your own thesaurus. you have to find or come up with infinite ways to say, you’re beautiful, or, i love you. it’s a gift

Galexies: ive been writing letters to the person i'd love one day since i was 14. i write them in a little journal usually, but i've been digitizing them into emails and sending them to one account that i'll give to them someday. i'd like to put pictures, but i haven't been outside much recently so theres that. i wonder if they'd like the sunsets i have on file, or if they'd find my cat cute in a bowtie.

Caeles: Love is sharing fruit slices and making someone tea at random

Dundy: Love is sending your friends cursed shit and watching them react in horror

to crushes and potential loves: 

Jess: I have a crush on my roommate. It sucks, but it's also wonderful. I get to be around him all the time when we're at school. we share a life together; it's rather domestic. I think a lot about marrying him and being domestic with him forever. It won't happen, and I'll move on eventually, but I'll be happy with him for as long as I can. I hope you feel loved tonight, because you are. Sleep well.

Aki: I so desperately want to believe that love is fake because I’ve seen what happens when loved ones leave but whenever I start to convince myself that I’ll never love anyone my best friend messages me telling me she loves me. She’s the only person I’ve ever pictured having a future with but love scares me and I don’t really know what to do but I think as long as she’s with me in some way, I’ll be fine

Hi: her her i keep thinking abt her.... gonna see her in 8 days or so i really miss her. its ok if shes never gonna love me like i want her to really being her friend spending time with her makes me the happiest girl on earth.... outsold antidepressants

Kit: this guy i have a crush on has hypnotically dark brown eyes and he's wonderful and shows me kindness like no one else

Juno: my crush has all the stars in his eyes

Mads: When I have the courage to meet my eyes with hers, the world stands still

Be Nice To Me: Look bro I never do these but I am yearning to hold them SO badly right now and someone needs to know it besides me

to the trials of love: 

Pppppp: I just wanna love like from the movies and what I read about.. but everyone tells me that that’s fictional and rare to find in the real world and it sucks bc it seems like all the guys I’ve met are terrible and the norms of society are all about not respecting women and uthdjdjdk

Manny: I have been in love before and I will be again but I’m not now and I miss it

Ok: I don't think I've ever been in love, though I love many people. I am waiting for the day I look at someone and can say, YES. IT'S YOU.

Chloe: idk rn i'm like okay with my love and i'm happy so we'll see i'm just a little cautious rn bc my last partner told me i didn't know how to love

L: love is so fucking complicated I don't even know where to start

Corrin: He’s not real and it worried me that I will never allow myself to live or be loved because I will always be waiting for him

Sean: Good luck it dont exist

Serena: i want 2 b in love :(( </3

13: I don’t know anymore

M: I just really don’t like dealing with it lol

to beloved characters: 

Janaya: I’m madly in love with my comfort and kin character and I hope maybe in the afterlife I can relive a life with him in some sort of dimension

Jhgjdf: when i was a kid i had a crush on ash ketchum from pokemon and id always daydream about being a female pkmn trainer and meeting him and we fall in love

to advice and prose: 

Mikolai: Love is earth, gentle and soft at first flight but upon being broken, drowns you in the dry choking wastes of its consequences...

Thex: Your hands will not go cold without someone to hold them. I am here. I will be here.

Kat: it is the nearest proof to god that i find myself surrounded by people who love in a way that complements so wonderfully the way i love

H: believe in love out of spite believe in love to prove everyone wrong believe in love because you were told not to and we will not do what we’re told anymore believe in love because it’s the strongest act of teenage rebellion we have left believe in love because it’s easier not to and when is easy worth doing? believe in love because everything says otherwise but you are untouchable, you are your own, you are not made by their design believe in love because, perhaps, you are love

Ali: I used to want a kind of love that feels like coming home and now I want nothing more than to be away from home on many different adventures

Em: you dont need to love yourself to accept it from others

to the small, the simple, and the sweet:

Ireal: Poems

O: Flowers

Fay: ah im sorry that i’m feeling unmotivated but you are very kind.

Ad: we love LOVE

A: <3

Isak: small things

H: intense

Hey: Listening to a clock ticking away

S: her

E: <3

Hania: Amorous, I adore that word ^^

Catboy: wholesome

J: i love love so much it hurts

Emmy: hi i love the song darkest of discos!! try and give it a listen!! <3

Nora: Love is painful, but most of the time love is great

Ariel: i like the comfort it can bring

M: i love love

to food!

Cool Whip: Matzoh ball soup!!

Woop: I love sausages.... I hope that's ok with you?

and animals too <3

Nee: hmm i have pet geckos and i love them very much!

96: raccoons ????

DJ Big Penis: cats

:3: I Love frogs,,, love is stored in the frog,,,

I hope that this serves as a sweet compilation of what love means! Love to all of you, it warms my heart so much to hear about your people and your geckos and your characters and soup and all the songs and quotes you love. <3 Strength to all of you who are figuring out to do about your feelings for your crush, and congratulations to you who are proposing or moving in with your person! Your words are a source of light to me, truly.

[sangcreole]

INTIMACY  &  RELATIONSHIP  PREFERENCES  GUIDE ( as always,  repost don’t reblog  )

for multiple choice sections:  bold for always,  italics for sometimes, bold & italics for especially likes,  strikethrough for never,  no emphasis for neutral or n/a

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ SEXUAL ORIENTATION:  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (i.e. Louis is very much gay, but he’ll die before saying it out loud. He’ll let Lestat drag him to Pride, he’ll hang around gay bars and admire the flourishing communities that pop up over the ages, and he won’t really correct anyone when they refer to him as queer. but Louis de Pointe du Lac’s Catholic ass will never self-identify with an actual label. If he absolutely HAS to specify, he’ll say that he “prefers men,” but he’ll also probably be very vocal about how he finds labels to be too reductive lmao). SEXUAL ROLES:  dominant.  submissive.  versatile.   PENETRATIVE PREFERENCES:  idk man he likes getting dicked down what more is there to say lol DOES YOUR MUSE USE A STRAP ON?:  i think louis would actually have a stroke if someone asked to peg him and am genuinely cackling at the thought asdfgahbsjf POSITIONS AS A TOP:   being ridden. missionary.  lotus.  doggy.  flatiron. legs on shoulders.  standing up.  standing while partner sits on surface.  spooning.  side by side.   POSITIONS AS A BOTTOM: riding.  missionary.  lotus.  doggy.  flatiron. legs on shoulders.  standing up.  sitting on surface.  spooning.  side by side.   SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS: monogamous.  polyamorous.  open.  swinging. hook-ups.  platonic. ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS: monogamous.  polyamorous.  open.  casual.  committed.   RELATIONSHIP ROLES: dominant.  submissive. equal.  nurturing.  being nurtured.  monetary provider.  monetarily dependent.  shared monetary burden. independent monetary responsibility.  manages household.  shares household management. prefers independent living spaces.  likes having household managed by partner.   THOUGHTS ON MARRIAGE: Marriage is a fickle human concept not meant for immortals, and it’s not something that often crosses Louis’ mind. Everyone knows he would go to the ends of the earth for Lestat; why should an exchange of rings change that? He would say yes if Lestat asked, but he’s also made it clear that he would be absolutely mortified if there were to be any sort of ceremony with the other blood drinkers they’re closest to (sorry Anne lmao). Louis is...well aware that the immortal world is tired of his and Lestat’s obnoxious love story LOL DOES YOUR MUSE GET JEALOUS/POSSESSIVE?: He’ll say that he’s not jealous, but realistically...when the whole world is in love with your boyfriend, I don’t think it’s possible to be completely free of jealousy. Plus, let’s be real: Lestat looooves to tease Louis. He knows how to flirt just enough to get Louis to snap like a damn twig, and then that’s when the real fun begins. DOES YOUR MUSE LIKE POSSESSIVE PARTNERS?: No he does not!!!!! He does not like feeling possessed! He will set your house on fire if he feels too caged!! For the love of God, he is absolutely terrified of someone having as much power over him as Lestat had during their initial years together.  DO THEY LIKE DOM/SUB ROLES IN ALL ASPECTS OF RELATIONSHIPS?(i.e. dom’s responsibility both sexually and in life is to take care of the sub and look after them): No, sir!! See above lmao he doesn’t do well with uneven power dynamics. WHAT DOES AFTERCARE LOOK LIKE TO THEM?: he’s not a very touchy-feely person, but rather his love language is quality time, so honestly just laying in silence together is one of the most comforting things for him. he likes to sit in the heaviness after it’s all over; likes to feel the aches and pains in his body as long as they will last (which is never very long at all).  i also think it’s safe to say that communication, especially during/after intimate moments is not his strong suit either. but honestly....”aftercare” isn’t a concept he would really grasp or appreciate anyway LOL WHAT ARE WAYS THEY PREFER TO BUILD EMOTIONAL INTIMACY?: Louis is a textbook libra, so the things he values most are consistency and peace. he doesn’t want a whirlwind romance, but rather a slow blooming love— in fact, he’ll often become detached and removed if emotions get too overwhelming, or things start to move too quickly for his comfort. gotta keep those scales in balance above all else asdfghsjbfjkn

HOWEVER! the quickest way to build emotional intimacy with louis is to debate with him. i’m serious lol like he is such a wannabe philosopher and he LOOOOVES a good old fashioned debate. even if he doesn’t like being told that he’s wrong, he really craves someone who will truly and thoughtfully listen to him. in this way, he was much better suited to Armand’s approach at affection lmao because Louis oftentimes thinks himself into a corner and can very easily get tunnel vision, so having someone he trusts enough to guide him is very helpful.

[danteinthedevildom]

A Royal Pajama Party “Analysis” - Part 6 (of 7)

We’re almost at the end (hooray - these posts have absolutely killed me to finish), so time to go onto the “platonic” route.

Unfortunately the Devilgram’s ending isn’t 100% perfect if you want a fully platonic route. I may be wrong here - it’s been a while since I actually read the Devilgram at this point, so my memories are a little hazy - but I believe the only way to really end it prior to the screenshots I’m about to show you involve responses that are a little more dismissive (from what I can remember, it essentially requires turning down everything, even the content that could be read as purely platonic). Which means, unfortunately, your options are generally “somewhere between romantic and platonic” and “no interest at all”. 

That said, this route is much easier to read as platonic, and I think is meant to cover ground for players who fall into one of two categories:

- Have no interest in Diavolo romantically

- Don’t want to end on a more suggestive note (since the kiss route leads to implied NSFW)

So you can read romance into it as much as you can ignore it. I like being able to focus on both sides, however, since sometimes you want the Devilgrams to explore more of the friendship between yourself and the brothers rather than an inherent romance - ergo, “platonic” route. 

That’s a much longer intro than usual, so I’ll cut it off there. As usual, this post covers content locked behind Story Keys, so here’s your cursory spoiler warning!

As I mentioned last post, you’re given an option to end the Devilgram in one of two ways: with a kiss (leading you down the more romantic route), or with a hug (by claiming you don’t want any funny business, to which he admits he just wants to hold you). We’re following the hug route.

I can likely guaratee you, after everything we’ve seen so far, Diavolo’s never had the chance to hold someone at night. No-one’s stayed long enough for him to spend time doing “nothing at all” with them, so it’s immediately clear that physical affection likely isn’t something he’s afforded often, let alone for the duration of a night - particularly considering the concept of a sleepover is new to him (as we saw in the first two posts) and just how generally awed he is by your continued presence and happiness being there. 

In other words, the changes of anyone having let him close enough to hold them before this point for this long are extremely slim. 

Which means, in turn, he’s almost definitely never been held. 

(There is, after all, a difference between holding someone who’s just putting up with it and actually being hugged back). 

The only person who might have done would be his father, when he was younger; I’m not wholly sure how close Diavolo is with the Demon King, but considering how overprotective he was, I’d assume he’d have given a little baby Diavolo at least a reasonable amount of hugs. Whether he did or not, however, that’s really it. That’s Diavolo’s list of “people who have held him for an extended period of time”. 

Even more likely, that’s his complete list of “people who have felt comfortable, happy, and content enough around him to let him fall asleep with them”. 

We already know that for a majority of his lifetime, it was just him, his father, and Barbatos - and before that, just him and his father. There really aren’t a lot of people he can put on that list, especially considering his status (and age) when the Demon King went to sleep. When the last of his restrictions were finally released.  

No wonder he’s so desperate for affection. No wonder he’s so horrifically touch- and love-starved. His entire life, he’s had practically no-one. Moreover, his only dedicated friends are:

- His butler (who tends to his duties with utmost professionalism, and with whom it wouldn’t be appropriate to form the sort of friendship and attachment he wants)

- Lucifer (who for centuries has been bitter over the oath, and takes his duties seriously out of pride and gratitude/servitude rather than affection - and has, in several situations, been genuinely put out/underwhelmed by Diavolo’s attempts to deepen their friendship)

- Queen Rose (who we’ve seen relegated to all of one visit per year, with an unknown connection and attachment to Diavolo, and who clearly isn’t important enough to have been given much of a story beyond the one event)

Demons he has no deep connection with, and is granted little to no physical affection from. 

Even the brothers have each other. Even at their very worst - with the issues between Satan and Lucifer, and the treatment they give Mammon - we’ve seen several images of them being physically affectionate. And that really does range from slumping over each other in sleep, to being used as weights for Beel’s training, to diving in close for group selfies. 

It doesn’t seem like much - and honestly, I do enjoy the headcanon that maybe as a species they just don’t tend to be as touchy-feely as humans - but it’s significantly more than we see (and hear) Diavolo get. It’s still physical contact that’s comfortable and affectionate; a physical show of care.

Diavolo has even said in Chats before (specifically in the one shared between you, him, and Barbatos) that he wants to stay at the House of Lamentation because they’re noisy and active. Because he’s used to silence and isolation and he wants to experience a place full of sound and activity and interconnecting relationships. Because he wants to be involved in something he doesn’t have. 

What you’ve afforded Diavolo in this moment is something so rare for him, it’s either happened very little in his life or never at all. 

This normal show of affection - something we can all get simply by turning to a friend, or a partner, or a family member; something we use as greetings and as comfort and often without a thought - is completely outside his typical experience. 

So, it’s bliss; by literal definition, “a state of perfect happiness, oblivious to everything else”. It’s not just warm, or happy, or perfect - it’s a feeling so outside of what he knows, it transcends all positive emotion. 

Your affection narrows down his focus away from the Devildom - from his worries, from his fears, from his unhappiness and his insecurities and his loneliness - and centres it entirely on you.

There’s a reason he wants to spend more time with you. A reason you’re his greatest person; a reason this night is so special to him. 

You give him everything he’s never had, but always wanted - and you do it as easily and thoughtlessly as drawing breath. 

For someone who’s struggled just to keep his desired friends by his side, that likely means the world to him. 

+

As his monologue continues on, we reach a sort of... wavering point.

This is the part that makes it a little blurry between the lines of romance and platonic feeling. You can clearly see how this dialogue is meant to be vague enough to appeal to both sides; by only lightly mentioning that he’s “feeling” something, you can read it as either romantic feeling or platonic feeling, albeit the second line tips it, initially, in favour of a romantic reading. 

However, I think this scene can still be fairly platonic when you consider that you are the only person to have ever made him feel this happy. 

Diavolo is a demon. He’s a royal demon. He’s the stand-in leader of an entire Realm, with hundreds of thousands of subjects under his command. He’s been alive for a relatively unknown but doubtlessly extensive amount of time. His concerns and worries far exceed that of anything a single human on Earth could fret over - because he’s not just fretting over a kingdom, or a nationality, but an entire race of beings that he holds direct responsibility for. 

A single human life, in contrast to that, is likely nothing more than a split-second blip on a radar. There and gone before he could even have seen it.  

Whatever he expected from the Exchange Programme, the importance of a single human likely wasn’t something he had in mind. Your importance as a whole for the future he wanted, yes; for what you represented, and what you could achieve, almost definitely. But for you, as a person? You, for all the good and the bad, the experiences and memories, the thoughts and feelings, that make you who you are?

In the grand scheme of things, that doesn’t matter. That you are human and alive and perform well in the Programme to ensure peace between the Realms does.  

Because you will fade away in less than a second. Because you will be gone before long, and your existence to him is like fruit fly to us. Short. Uneventful. Insignificant. 

His infatuation with humanity doesn’t necessarily mean an infatuation with individual humans. You can be enamoured with rabbits and set up a sanctuary for them, but that doesn’t mean you’ll see the inherent nature and personal significance of any single one. 

He likely never would have thought that one of the Exchange Students would become this important to him. 

He likely never would have thought that a human, plain and simple as you are, would open up this many feelings, experiences, possibilities. 

(He likely never would have thought that you could change his life as drastically as you have.)

Why would he? After all, you’re just human. Your life is so fragile, it could end with the barest twitch of his finger. How could something so frail possibly have such an impact on him - do things that no demon has ever been able to do?

And yet, you’ve done so much. In a few years at most, you’ve changed his life in ways he’s always struggled with. You’ve given him all the things he wanted; all the things he’s missed. 

You. A human. A tiny, fragile, impossible little human. You’ve done things greater beings have been incapable of. Things even he - with all his power and wisdom and life experience - couldn’t do.

How could he have possibly expected that?

(He might have hoped for it. Hoped that something good would come from the Exchange Programme; hoped that he’d be able to experience those things he’d never been able to with someone new and fresh in his life. But he still can’t have imagined that it would happen so soon, so easily, so naturally. That it would have been entirely because of you.)

As a slight aside, though a very related one, I’m deeply interested by Diavolo’s second line: “Oh, but your humanity only makes you even more captivating”

Here’s an English Lit tip for all of you: if a character says “oh” like this, the utterance is almost always used to emphasise an already-intense emotion. It’s the little oh you see in fanfic; that single sound to release everything a person feels in one breath. It’s used a lot in epics, and especially in 19th centuary texts, when the narrator is lamenting or expressing woe. 

Here, it sounds wistful. Longing. Amazed. Dreamy. Awed. Reverent. This isn’t something he’s saying intentionally. 

These utterances are almost always kept to narration; to the depths of a character’s thoughts, where they can express themself the most in its truest form. They’re used to incite a reader’s emotion, their empathy, and to highlight the sheer emotive weight of a scene. It’s very rarely verbal, unless they’re utterly overcome with feeling. 

The fact that Diavolo’s saying it out loud, therefore, means it’s not intentional. These are his deepest thoughts said aloud, so intense and true it’s impossible for him to keep it locked inside his mind. 

That’s simple fact. He’s purely, utterly enraptured by you. 

The analysis on that sentence could end there. The admittance, unwittingly, that you are captivating as an example of how significant you are to him. However... 

While it does highlight that he already finds you awing, it also notes that it’s your humanity that makes you even more enchanting. Not just the fact that you’re you, or that you’re human and he finds the depth of his feeling surprising - but that the very notion of your humanity enthralls him. 

We’ve already seen his interest in humanity span decades before your arrival, if not centuries. We therefore know that the fragility of your life and the existence of your humanity means something to him in a way it doesn’t - or wouldn’t - to other demons. 

He’s fascinated by the concept of humans, and you are human. Naturally, he’s going to be awed that a human is important to him by default; simultaneously, he’s thrilled by the fact that you’re representative of the World he adores.

+

Moving on from that focus, the next scene. It’s the conclusion of this route, and thus the final shot in the Devilgram if you decide to end it this way. 

This, is mostly just sweet. I couldn’t avoid adding this in. 

It’s a callback to the start of this post - the fact that Diavolo has likely never been able to hold someone for the night, and that he’s thoroughly excited for the chance to do so with you. 

Diavolo wants to cherish holding you. He wants to savour having you in his arms as you go to rest. 

He knows it’s something that won’t happen often, if it ever happens again. So he wants to make the most of it. He wants to ingrain it in his mind, lock it up tight with the memories he holds closest to his heart. 

There’s a little more I have to say about the concept of sleep and especially willingness and comfort sleeping around another person, but there’s a better way to present that in another screenshot - one we’ll see in the next post. It deserves more space than I have left here, so I’ll relegate that to a few screenshots I wasn’t able to fit in elsewhere. 

It’s a bit of a topic change, but a good one. Do you recall the post wherein Diavolo reads his favourite poem to you? In that post, I went over the fact that he reveals you to be - in no uncertain terms - his greatest person. 

I also noted in the post that he doesn’t say this by default. You have to choose for him to say that by picking the option along the lines of, “Who’s your greatest person?”. The devs kindly allow you to decide just how close to Diavolo you want to be, and whether or not he’s comfortable admitting in such open terms how important you are to him. 

In the screenshots below, then, I’ve shown the other route; the one wherein you asked if Barbatos was his greatest person. 

Diavolo’s response?

It’s much more vague. He doesn’t even vaguely state that his greatest person is you. In fact, it sounds very much like he still doesn’t know who his greatest person is. 

At least until you consider that final line.

“Should that day come, you’ll be the first to know”. 

This comment speaks volumes. In a very subtle way, it’s Diavolo showing you that he trusts you most; that, out of everyone he knows, he’d go to you first to tell you who his most important person is. 

This could be because he believes you’d be excited to know. Maybe he thinks you’d be happy for him, and you’d celebrate the fact that he’s found his greatest person. Maybe it’s simply him acknowledging that he’s told you about the concept of a greatest person, and thus, you’d be the only one with the knowledge to care whether or not he’s found someone who fits that bill. 

It might even be him saying you’re just the first person on his mind beyond his greatest person. That when he has important news, the first thing he wants to do is tell you. 

But it’s also, I think, a hint. 

You could read it as dismissive; “I’ve not yet found someone better than Barbatos, but when I do, I’ll tell you.” It’s certainly one interpretation of the line, and what the above covers. Another, however, would be, “I’m not ready yet to confirm my feelings/I’ve lost my confidence since you mistakenly assumed it to be someone it’s not. When I’m ready, I’ll tell you - and you’ll know I meant you.”

It’s a perfectly valid reading to believe he already suspects his greatest person is you. That he’s implying you’ll know who his greatest person is before anyone else because he’ll be saying to you, directly, it’s you. 

It’s a sweet moment, either way. Whether he’s being coy about who his greatest person is or he genuinely doesn’t know yet, the fact remins that you’re important enough to him - that he believes you care enough about him and his happiness to want to know - that he’ll tell you before anyone else. 

You’re his priority, regardless.  

Another fact, one you might have thought I’d cover first, is the surprise of his prior comment: “the greatest person in my life would overshadow even him”. 

Barbatos isn’t Diavolo’s greatest person. From the previous scene - that alternate timeline where he’s more obvious about who his greatest person is - it’s clear that Barbatos doesn’t fill a lot of the requirements. He supports Diavolo, yes; he’s by his side, always, and he can’t leave - but he’s not there for him. Not the same way you are. 

Emotionally, mentally, physically, Barbatos doesn’t click with Diavolo the way he needs his greatest person to. Barbatos doesn’t spend time with him happily and freely; doesn’t let him get close and affectionate. Diavolo can’t be his true self around Barbatos and feel wholly, perfectly accepted. The butler-master divide makes that an impossibility, as does the origin of their friendship. 

Barbatos is still important to him, of course; there’s no denying that. After all, the greatest person in his life at the moment is Barbatos. That’s who Diavolo is using to gauge his greatest person against; whether or not they mean more to him than Barbatos, and he connects with them better than with his closest companion.

Diavolo’s just not fooling himself into thinking Barbatos is that person.

There is, however, something... a little more amazing to think about, knowing Diavolo’s requirements for his greatest person. 

They have to be better than Barbatos.   

Barbatos, the demon who helped raise him in the absence of his mother. 

Barbatos, the demon who’s been by his side since youth, patiently feeding him stories of the Realms he never got to see. 

Barbatos, the only demon who ever stayed, who wasn’t directly related to him.

Barbatos, the demon Diavolo knows best, the demon he’s known the longest. 

And in the timeline he confirms, openly, overtly, that you’re his greatest person, 

You exceed that. 

+++

And thus concludes part 6. I hope this has been enjoyable to read, because in parts, it was not enjoyable to write- I got a bit too picky and ended up editing this twice to add in more because I didn’t like how I’d worded it before, so guess how much time that’s eaten up OTL 

Still, with this post done, we’ve only got one more! Finally. It’s the concluding part, so it’s mostly going to be bitty details that didn’t perfectly fit elsewhere, as well as a better focus on another facet of the reading route - because, yes, not only do you get to decide whether or not you eat fruit or read, you also get to decide whether Diavolo reads to you or you read to him.

I really wasn’t joking when I said this Devilgram was spoilt for choice, before. I’m absolutely not used to these stories containing anything more than a “good reaction”/”bad reaction” response, or maybe a “platonic route”/”romantic route” divide. This Devilgram, though - damn. You end up replaying it like ten times just to see everything. And it’s all voice acted, too - it’s kind of amazing. 

So, if you’d like, please continue on to part 7! And thank you so much for making it through all this wordy babbling. 

[kurosarium]

genuine

request: Can you write about a second year girl (or gender neutral person) waiting by Aoba Josai's gym for Oikawa, and the team thinks it's another confession, but when Oikawa walks over to them she asks him advice on how to get loyal/good friends? Like she has a friend group, but they're toxic towards her and she feels alone? (I'm going through something like this rn and this would really help 😅) It can be slightly romantic or strictly platonic, whichever is easier for you! I love your writing!! 💕💕

character: oikawa x reader

words: ~ 1.7k

a/n: Here you go, I’m sorry you had to wait. I made it platonic, becausemy goal was to create a comforting feeling, and romance didn’t suit what I had in mind, does that make sense? 😳 Still, I Hope you can enjoy it! And I wish you all the best, hopefully you’ll be feeling better soon! Sending you all the good vibes, and feel hugged! 💕

You could already hear the faint cheering and swooning from a distance, and as your feet carried you closer to the boy’s gym you could finally see them, as well. Around the entrance of the gym was a small crowd, consisting of about two dozen of girls, some you knew by name, and others you hadn’t seen on campus before. With a sigh you decide against joining the chattering flock of obsessed girls and instead opt to place yourself several feet away from them, putting enough distance between you and their ecstatic chatter, but not too far away to lose the gym’s doors out of sight.

The increased squealing and the high pitched out cries indicated that the boys’ volleyball team’s practice must have come to an end, and so you slowly turn yourself towards the small crowd, not moving any closer to the source of excitement, though.

It doesn’t take you long to get a glimpse of the brunette setter, who didn’t only stand out because he, as most of his team mates, were noticeably taller than the girls that were surrounding them, but also because of his undeniably rapturing aura.

Several minutes go by with you just standing awkwardly at the edge of the building, watching him interact with his fans, handling their loud and incoherent squeals, their awkward confessions and slightly obsessive attitude as if it was nothing. A few more minutes go by, and slowly but surely your patience begins to fade, with crossed arms you start debating with yourself, if it would be better to approach him another time, maybe somewhere else, too.

You get pulled out of your train of thought when Oikawa’s voice was increasing in volume, bidding and bowing goodbye to the flock of fans surrounding him, who, in turn, groaned woefully, but made way for their idol to pass through anyways.

Passing through the crowd Oikawa joins his friends, and team mates, who were waiting for him a bit farther away, and you can already hear them teasing and clowning him from a distance.

Taking a deep breath, you decide that the timing was right, quickly collecting yourself you turn yourself towards the group of friends, ready to approach, but you stop in your tracks when you see them coming to a halt a few feet away from you, their gazes curious, yet intense. At a loss for words, you just stand there, looking like a deer caught in the headlights, with wide eyes, warm cheeks, and stiff body posture.

Luckily Hanamaki takes the initiative and nudges the brunette’s side, gesturing into your direction with his head, adding a few words you couldn’t make out from your position. Oikawa quickly glances into your direction, then back to his friends, and excuses himself, before he starts walking towards you, a kind smile sitting on his lips while he gleefully waves at you, his previous encounter with a flock of excited and unruly fans seemingly not having any effect on his mood.

Meanwhile the rest of his team mates make their way up the stairs to the club rooms, disappearing out of view.

The closer he comes the clearer becomes your view of his face, his smile looks forced and his body language screamed exhaustion.

“Hey there, you couldn’t possibly be waiting for me, could you?”

His voice is dripping with kindness and playfulness as he asks you that question while pointing to himself with his index finger.

His aura makes you feel the slightest bit uncomfortable, his gaze intense and definitely not helping your racing heart. You lower your head, trying to escape his piercing eyes, and nod you head.

“Yes, I would like to talk to you about something.”

“Oh, and what would that be?”

Most people, especially those who were head over heels into him, would have believed the exaggerated curiosity in his voice, but you knew, you could feel,  that he was clearly expecting you to confess your feelings to him, wanting to get over with it as soon as possible. He believed he knew your intentions, and for that reason he was talking to you like he talked to his fans, high-pitched, coy, and just too nice for your liking.

“I wanted to ask you for advice, actually. Advice on friendships.”

He goes silent for a moment, and his forced smile is replaced by confusion that visibly spreads over his facial features. When no answer follows, you lift your head to peek up at him curiously, watching him as he puts one hand on his hip, and places the other below his chin, seemingly thinking about what you just said.

“Hm. I’m flattered, but why would you come to me for that?” All at once his façade was gone, and he was looking at you with genuine curiosity and interest.

“Well, you seem to be getting along with just about anyone, and you’re pretty close with the other third years on your team too, aren’t you? I thought you would maybe know what to do in my situation.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, but Oikawa hears you and nods thoughtfully.

“Then, what exactly is your situation…”

You notice his hesitation, but keep your head low, giving him your name.

“Right, then, what exactly is your situation?”

His eyes don’t leave you as he awaits your response, instead he even leans forward a bit, unintentionally intensifying your nervousness.

“Well, I- I don’t know. Just, how do you get good friends? How do you create friendships that last? And how do you know your friends are really your friends?”

At this point the frustration that had build up inside of you over the last couple of months came crushing down on you, hard, and you could feel your eyes tearing up just a little bit.

“It’s just… There are people I call my friends, but they exclude me a lot, and it feels like they’re constantly looking down on me. It doesn’t feel like I’m their friend, at all. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, I- I just don’t want to feel like this anymore. Alone and sad, and like I’m undeserving of kindness and love.” With every word your voice grows shakier, and more desperate. It ultimately cracks at the end of your short speech, only realizing afterwards that your emotional outbreak might come across as inappropriate or childish. Your hands shoot up to your mouth immediately as you try to keep in your sobs, and they soon move to cover most of your face, trying to hide yourself in embarrassment.

Completely lost in your thoughts you fail to comprehend Oikawa’s words as he responds to you, you’re only brought back to earth when you suddenly feel a warm hand gently touching your shoulder.

“Hey, it’s alright. I’m a hundred percent sure there’s nothing wrong with you. Your friends sound horrible, though. You should get new ones.”

His attempt to lighten the mood fails miserably, and you lift your head only to glare up at him, huffing at him in an irritated tone.

“You make it sound easy. Not everyone attracts people like flies, like you.“

Oikawa looks a little surprised at your bold answer, though, his surprise quickly turns into contentment, the playful smile returning to his face.

“Let’s sit down somewhere before we continue.”

He squeezes your shoulder affectionately, and lightly nudges you into the direction of the nearest building, where he swiftly sits down on the lower part of a staircase and pats the space next to him, motioning for you to join him.

„So, how do you want me to help you? I mean, what could I possibly do for you?”

The intensity of his gaze remains, but so does the genuine smile that sits on his lips, a smile that is laced with understanding, a smile not many get to see, you imagine. You feel the tension slowly leave your body, and you sit back, leaning on your elbows with you head in your neck, watching the clouds above as a hopeful smile makes its way to your lips.

“I don’t know. Maybe I didn’t really think this through, but I thought you would know how to be a good friend. Does that make sense?”

He looks at you in confusion when he spots the slightest hint of a smile on your face.

„Well, the way I see it, your friends are really shitty, you should totally dump them.” The way he says it sounds matter-of-fact, and out of the corner of your eyes you can see him nodding to himself, like a proud child would.

„I don’t want to be all alone, though. I know they’re not good for me, I know they’re toxic, but I’m afraid I might feel even worse, if I’d be all by myself, you know?” A heavy sigh escapes your lips as you change your position, leaning forwards with your elbows on your knees and your face in your hands, your gaze wandering off into the distance again.

You were ready to strengthen your point of view, already drawing a breath, but before you could say a word Oikawa abruptly stands up, rising to his full height with his hands on his hips, smiling brightly at you as if the two of weren’t just talking about something severely depressing.

„You can spend time with us, then! Me, Iwa-chan, Mattsun, Makki, and the others. You seem like a sweet girl, I’m sure they would be delighted to meet you. “

„Huh?!“

Staring at him with wide eyes and open mouth you try to comprehend what he just said, not sure if you imagined it. You get your answer when he reaches for your hands and pulls you up, beaming with joy.

„You heard me. Dump your friends and spend time with us instead. We’re nice, we don’t bite. I promise.”

„Alright. “You agree, maybe too fast.

„Great. Let’s exchange numbers so we can keep in contact. “He suggests, his hand already reaching for his pocket, only to realize that he was still wearing his gym clothes. He stifles a laugh and turns to you with an apologetic grin.

„I’m sorry. It’s in my bag upstairs, let me get it real quick. You wait here, okay? “He exclaims while pointing to the clubroom building behind the two of you. He’s already halfway up the stairs before you can answer him, so you just nod, not realizing he wouldn’t be able to see it.

You would wait there, anyways. You would wait for Oikawa to return to seal the deal on your new friendship, and you would do it with a smile on your face.