#genuinely WHAT is wrong with me
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
she conc on my clave until i pope
41 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's incredibly weird being raised strictly christian, because I'll learn something new about myself and go "Great! I'm really relieved to have figured this out! No one can ever know about this :))))"
#my random stuff#this is partly about my gender#and also about... i hesitate to call it a kink because i don't want sex but for want of a better word#this is about my science kink#also?? possibly?? monsterfucking????#i don't even know at this point#genuinely what is wrong with me#posting late so my irls don't see lol
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I feel so sick… bleh. Tonight sucks.
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
I took one look at Duman and my brain went: MANWHORE!
There's actually a simple SCIENCE behind this!!
Behold. The Whore Gap. Seen on many male/masc characters throughout history, Winx Club especially, the whore gap refers to the little gap between the top and bottom of one's attire where bare skin is visible. Usually only a little bit of skin, separating itself from a full on crop top situation. Whether it's sluttier than that is based on several things and lots of opinions, there are no wrong answers, we're all in this together <3
The rating of whore on said gap depends on certain factors; Does it show the belly button? Does it show the hip bones? Would it realistically only be visible if the character were to raise their arms? Important things like that.
Taking a look at Duman, that is a clear case of Whore Gap. I don't think I even have to point out all the things when it's there for all to see. What I WILL say is that there's like a singular shot, mayhaps more idk, where his top rolls up further when his arms are raised. Things to think about. Points to add.
Of course in Duman's case there are multiple factors that contribute to him being perceived as a MANWHORE, mesh shirt, his piercings, makeup, waist. I just felt like. Talking about this. Sorry.
This is also why imo his rare comic appearances are not good.
Like if randomly changing his design wasn't rude enough, they TOOK the Whore Gap from him in most panels (except for like one) and I don't think I can forgive them for that. The only time I have allowed it was for Russian Winx on Ice Duman, who was given slits in his skirt for mobility and slays it hard, so it's a fair trade. Actually while collecting images I discovered that there is no need for a trade, because it's a case of 'hidden until arms are raised' gap, which is still valid.
#genuinely WHAT is wrong with me#i'm so sorry about this#deranged post from start to finish fr#return of the 3am thoughts#hope the anon that sent this months ago finds it worth the wait#why have i never brought up russian winx on ice wizards before#they're so silly!!#i'm gonna go lay down for a bit#winx club#right in the main tag huh#winx villains#wizards of the black circle#winx duman#he would despise me i just know it#answered ask
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
it should be illegal to feel this bad when im this 🤏 close to finishing the chapter
#i could've been writing#i could've been vibing#but noooo#thoughts of death and destruction instead okay#end me#more!#vent#because im not feeling better what a load of shit#genuinely what is wrong with me#i was doing so good. so well
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
I just want someone to take care of me and that I can take care of and we can make each other breakfast and then like watch stupid movies together and do our hobbies together in the same space like is that too much to ask???
#blurgleshutthefuckup#the bar is on the FLOOR#and still#my ass has been single for 27 years#like… at this point it’s kind of fucking embarrassing!!!!#genuinely what is wrong with me#(I know what is wrong with me I’m butt ass ugly and have Mental Issues and am fat and A Huge Loser)#I’m just.#ugh yk???
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
got up to go to the bathroom and everything around me feels all weird and watery woooooooo
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
dopamine is so fucked up i feel like im ab to have a stroke from the amount of shit i just did and im also fully out and my mind is like huh MORE drink an energy drink and take everything else. no. dumb shit. weird as hell that works. whats that one song lyric. dont do any of the shit i talk about in this song. yeah that. dont 💀LOL
#legit i was like dont do it all dont do it all dont do it all. and every time i got to what i told myself was the limit for the day#i was like fuck it why not more. and im not im sitting here now lowkey agitated and just having heart palpitations#thinking like why the fuck did i do that legit what is wrong with me. TRIPLE MY USUAL AMOUNT TO BE LIKE. GEEKED#AND LIKE LITERALLY ACTUALLY 15 TIMES WHAT I WOULD TAKE TO LIKE FOCUS FOR A BIT.#GENUINELY WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tonight I was dancing while someone sang the Thong Song at karaoke and a beautiful woman came up behind me and started grinding on my ass. This was a very new experience for me and I am still processing it mentally. She was very soft. And so so gorgeous. She had a dress with a big slit up one side to reveal her thigh. Yeah
#I asked my friend WTF was that#and he just replied#Milo at some point you have to accept that you’re a hottie#and I?????? I am still reeling#she was so soft omg and she just matched my rhythm effortlessly#fuuuuuucckkkkkkkkkk#delete later#why didn’t I ask her for her name or her number why am I like this#this is like the 4th beautiful woman to touch me out of nowhere and tell me shit like ‘omg I love you’ during karaoke#genuinely what is wrong with me#why can I pull women but I can’t do anything to seal the deal
0 notes
Text
Whyd i start crying bc i had to clean with a microfibre cloth
1 note
·
View note
Text
When the girl who says she has adhd to be quirky looks at me weird when I say hyperfixations aren't fun and I desperately want to consume as much of my fixation as possible to the point of depression and suicidal thoughts because I will never be one with my fixation and being exhausted until you're finally done being obsessed. I actively avoid things I think might become a hyperfixation.
#adhd#mental health#depression#something I never told anyone#is that I attempted over a fixation#genuinely what is wrong with me
0 notes
Text
I JUST CLOSED THE APP HOW DID I GET BACK HERE WHAT-
0 notes
Text
at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"
like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.
"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."
... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.
and i'd still keep writing.
i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.
i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley
"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"
and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.
it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.
you create because you're greedy.
#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME#there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing#and the writing is what i need to be doing#writeblr#this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to#edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol#i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means#i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong#i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse#i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO#i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness#and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it#im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us#i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer#and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work#even if it means being miserable#but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.
18K notes
·
View notes
Text
Accidentally deleting the A Record for my mail server and making it impossible for me to receive work-related emails for 2 days? Could be me.
#the great whine shark#🤡💀#reason no.4783648 why i should never be self-employed (again)#genuinely what is wrong with me#how did i manage that
0 notes
Text
just opened my messages to see i sent
at 3:21am
i don't think i'll ever know what i was trying to say, because what the hell
i don't remember being awake at that time so i'm assuming i woke up in the middle of the night or there's a ghost in my room and it's trying to communicate
0 notes
Text
Sometimes the doomed old man toxic yoai gets so bad you just have to start writing about fucking revenge guac to get over the pain.
#sonic movie 3#sonic 3#sonic the hedgehog#slight spoilers#stobotnik#I've never seen such fucking YEARN in a man before like PICK IT UP bro your obsession is so obvious#I've never felt so.. like this about an end of a relationship before i swear to god if Stone disappears after this I'll riot#I need him causing destruction in Robotniks name but before that I'm going to cope with him being a yearny little shit snd Shadow being edgy#Genuinely it's going to be 1K words of Shadow thinking 'Maria would've loved guacamole..' or something like that because i refuse to be sad#I'm not coping.. everyone lives nobody dies stobotnik ISN'T DEAD NOW WHAT DO YOU MEAN#the sonic movie team is paying for all of my bills not just the therapy ones because FUCK THIS#i loved the movie though it's so good gaia please never stop the peak it's so peak holy shit#OH GOD I JUST REMEMBERED METAL SONIC WON'T HAVE HIS DAD WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE#I'm NOT going to be okay coming into the third movie how could you have taken the father son bonding AWAY FROM ME
634 notes
·
View notes